#i at least REALLY REALLY want to finish no one lives forever and dead man's party because those will look SO GOOD and work SO WELL

[scekrex]

You said to hit you with my trans femboy! reader x Adam prompts, so here we go! (BTW if you're not comfortable writing anything in this prompt or it at all, that's totally cool!)

Reader goes dress shopping at one of those places where they take your measurements and do a custom outfit, and Adam offers to go with him. The person taking reader's measurements/doing the consultation keeps misgendering reader and making rude/cruel remarks under their breath. Neither reader nor Adam are standing for it.

Also on a completely unrelated I-just-want-to-tell-somebody note, my birthday is on Friday!

Not me dropping the request I was working on before to write this so I can publish it on ur birthday- ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE <3

She hopes I’m cursed forever

pairing: Adam x trans!male!reader

warnings: language, homophobia, transphobia, reader gets misgendered

note: not beta read bc fuck you

“I’ll be back in a couple hours,” you hummed as you crossed the living room in which Adam was sitting on the couch. It’s needless to say that a statement such as this caught the first man’s attention immediately. Adam paused the video he was watching and looked at you slowly walking to the front door. “Where the fuck are you going?” The first man seemed slightly confused, as far as he was aware you had nothing planned for the day. You simply chuckled softly, looked over your shoulder to look at Adam before you responded, “Dress shopping.”

The brunette turned off the TV quickly, “Not without me.” You raised an eyebrow at the taller male, quite surprised by how eager he seemed to join your little shopping spree. It wasn’t that Adam hated going shopping with you, he just tended to avoid it if he had the chance to, your boyfriend was an online shopper through and through. And he knew how exhausting shopping with you could be. “Since when do you wanna-” The brunette didn’t even let you finish, “Since someone has to make sure Heaven’s cunts don’t disrespect you.” Well, that seemed fair, so you simply shrugged, grabbed your jacket and left with Adam by your side.

The place you had picked was quite fancy, it wasn’t one of the more expensive tailorings nor was it one of the cheapest, the prices you had to pay for dresses were quite fair in your eyes and so far you had only made good experiences at their place.

The mood changed as soon as you and Adam entered the tailoring though. The person that greeted you was one you had never seen before, so you simply figured they must be new - nothing that really bothered you. “Hello Miss,” the woman greeted you, her eyes gave away that that was not her dream job and that she’d rather be doing anything else. You lowered your head a little, the ‘Miss’ didn’t sit right with you at all but you didn’t want to cause a scene so you remained silent. This would be a quick thing anyway, they would simply take your measurements, you’d decide on a dress and then you would be free to go - no big deal, right?

Yeah, no, dead wrong. It was a big deal because Adam turned it into one. The first man’s hand came down on your shoulder, the playful grin that usually hugged his lips was gone and he sounded quite pissed as he spoke, “It’s Mister, get his fucking pronouns right, bitch.” The woman who seemed to be the only employee at the store for that day looked Adam up and down with quite judgmental eyes before she simply shrugged and walked off without correcting her mistake. Adam immediately didn’t like her at all - not that you liked her any better, but you were better at hiding that you really just wanted to leave again.

Uncomfortably you followed the employee as she led you to a little podium where she would take the measurements. Your brunette boyfriend followed suit, he was right behind you, one of his hands was constantly on your body, whether it was your shoulder or your waist, the first man simply felt the need to reassure you, to let you feel that you weren’t alone and that he had your back. And it helped - at least in the beginning and at least a tiny bit.

You stepped on the small podium, all the confidence you had when you had entered the store was gone, you felt wrong, uncomfortable and if you were honest you really just wanted to leave and find another tailoring. But now you were too deep in, there was no turning away anymore. The woman stepped closer to you and you noticed how Adam watched the scene playing out in front of him. He was completely focused on the woman's movements, watching her carefully so she wouldn’t pull any more shit.

“Ma’am, you need to take your jacket off,” the tailor mumbled, she seemed quite annoyed by your presence and while you understood that some days were simply harder than others, that did not excuse her behavior towards you. You heard a low growl coming from Adam at her words, “He’s not a fucking ‘Ma’am’, quit acting like a fucking transphobic cunt and do your work.”

And while you appreciated that Adam was standing up for you, you didn’t quite like his choice of words, nor did you like the fact that the brunette was causing a scene when all you wanted was a simple dress that fit you. The female angel ignored Adam, not paying any mind to the first man or his rude words towards her, instead she mumbled something under her breath that you weren’t quite able to catch, however you did hear the words ‘fucking queers’ and ‘disgusting filth’ which caused you to just feel worse than you had already been feeling.

The female angel - which was slightly smaller than you were - did her job pretty sloppily, she did not care to properly measure you. You also noticed how she tried her very best to stay as far away from you as possible, she barely touched you while taking the measurements needed for the dress. And normally you wouldn’t care, if she wanted to execute her job badly, that was her deal. But in your very case that not only infected her but also you because that way the dress would not fit properly.

“God must really hate me to send me fucking gays,” she mumbled, this time loud enough for you to hear. And even though you really wanted that dress, you took a step back from her, stepped off the little podium and made your way over to Adam. The female angel looked confused at you, then her expression soured, “What are you doing?”

You were trying to get away from her transphobic hands, you were trying to escape her judgemental eyes and her homophobic words. “Leaving,” you simply said as you grabbed Adam’s hand and turned around. The tall brunette next to you squeezed your hand reassuringly, his wing wrapped around your back in a protective matter and he shot the employee a grin, flipping her off as he guided you towards the door.

“But-” the worker tried to protest, she had already taken the measurements and was about to wrap things up, she at least wanted to be paid. Yet Adam cut her off quite rudely, “You heard him, we’re leaving.” The taller man waved at her in a provoking way, a triumphant grin on his lips. You opened the door and as soon as you had done so Adam pulled you out of the store, seemingly eager to leave.

“We’ll get you a tailor who actually does their job instead of insulting you,” Adam hummed, looking down at you with a smile as he playfully ruffled through your hair. The smile on his quickly curled up into a grin though, “And then I’ll fuck your brains out in the new dress.”

[ottosbigtop]

What Is Wolf 359 anyway ? Is it like a podcast ? And could you tell me all your favorite parts about it in great detail because it sounds really interesting and I trust your opinion :]

sits down across the table from you and slams a briefcase on the table so heavy it breaks it in half. Hey.

Wolf 359 is an audio podcast that came out in 2014. It opens up by asking the question “Would that be fucked up or what?” and its answers are really funny until they aren’t. Classic case of the funny story slowly becoming painfully real and dangerous for the protagonists.

The basics of the plot is a crew of three people plus their space station’s AI are sent to orbit a star lightyears away from earth by some totally suspicious corporation. The show introduces you right in the middle of the mission, when everyone’s already been out there for months, so they’ve sort of abandoned decorum for gassing each other with chemicals as a solution for workplace discourse. I will put my in depth thoughts under a cut because frankly, I would very very much like you to check out this podcast, because I like it a lot and want to see more people talking about it. Stick through at least season one and the beginning of season 2, it’s about a dozen episodes and it’s a quick listen to help you decide if you want to keep checking it out.

ok so my favorite things about it (non spoilers edition.)

-Really solidly written female characters. Like it’s genuinely enjoyable how much they share the same narrative weight as the male characters especially for a 2014 podcast.

-Character focused podcast 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 I love a story that is first and foremost about dissecting characters and their actions and I think Wolf 359 excels in this section of its writing. Doug Eiffel is a wonderful adventure in finding out what happens when a comedic relief character is confronted with being more than just his archetype.

-Ai storyline. Do you like robots? You should like my friend Hera. Everything happens to her. She sees everything all of the time, she knows so much more than you do, and she is physically unable to insult you to your face but I think she should do it anyways. I like. Her. She gets to get up to weird gay people stuff with a character that shows up later on and it leaves her changed in so many ways.

-Fucked up little scientist that I like. He’s Russian and you should listen to the podcast for the sole experience of comparing his voice in ep 1 to any ep in season 3. It’s funny.

ok specifics under the cut if you dare to hear my detailed thoughts before listening to the podcast

-Doug Eiffel’s character is genuinely one of the most interesting things to me. I talked about it in an older textpost but I love how Wolf 359 is a media not unfamiliar with immoral and nuanced characters and chooses to make sure that applies to not just its antagonists. The reveal in season 3 that he was a dad? And he like? Brutally impacted his kids life forever because of His Own shitty mistakes? And now he has to deal with that forever? Big. Massive even. Also part of the reason I have such a gripe with the finale of the show but it’s okay I think the show itself is still really worth it in spite of my mixed feelings on season 4.

-Isabel. ISABEEEEEEL. Isabel Lovelace is really good and the entirety of minisode 4 (I believe it’s 4?) kills me dead. She’s died not once, but twice! And lived! She’s tormented! She’s miserable! She’s the final girl! she’s a clone! She’s the original! I need to finish my relisten so I can get as weird about her as possible because fuck me does she have a fascinating storyline.

-That fuckass scientist. Hilbert. Heart. I can and have gone into depth about him before because I hate him. He’s like, peak for me vis a vis Wolf 359 and character dissection. Hes a horrible horrible man but the way he justifies his actions and how he views himself and what exactly his apathy is driven by fascinates me. This man died at 6 years old and has spent the rest of his life dragging the dead weight of his own corpse around while he works toward his unreasonable goals. I love him.

-Lovelace and Hilbert have a shared connection from before canon that makes me insane in a way I literally cannot describe. Type of dynamic that makes you so fucking nuts that I don’t just need you to hear me I need someone to grab at my brain and match my freak. I need more people to talk about them. They were friends and then they were enemies and also they understand each other more than anyone else. He killed her entire crew, but he’s the only member of her crew that’s left. He’s everything she lost and he’s all she has. She came back to tell him he isn’t allowed to forget what he did this time. They haunt each other. Blow them up now.

-Marcus Cutter is a deeply unsettling little man and I find him fascinating.

[kyruskumiho27]

Warnings: •heavy angst •fluff at the end🥰

Summary: you and Kento are going through the trials of pregnancy. (Or: you have a fight but you work it out)

*you= pink/ Kento= orange*

He had been ignoring you all evening in favor of reading his book.

You were sitting opposite of him across the couch, pouting as once again the man choose to pay no mind to your words.

“So overall, I think I have everything for the registry. Venue is rented out and everything…. I just need a little help with the-“

He slams his book closed, glaring at you over his reading glasses.

“And what in the hell do you want me to do with that information?” You startle at his sudden movement, looking at him with those eyes. “Huh?” He scoffs, taking his glasses off.

“Why are you telling me this?” The irritation was obvious in his voice, and the way his brows furrowed in annoyance.

“Just thought you should know.”

He squints, trying to find if you’re purposely messing with him or actually oblivious. In the end he finds it’s both. Can’t a man read in peace?

“I have other things to do right now. I don’t have time to listen to you ramble on and on about shopping list.” You go quiet, fidgeting with your hands. Why is it always a problem when you mention anything having to do with the baby? It’s the least he could do, since he is the father and all. “Sorry..”

He scoffs again, rolling his eyes as he goes back to reading his book.

After a to long silence, you get up and go to your shared room. You had some papers that needed to be graded, but how hard could that be? They were first graders.

You rub your belly as you do so, your eyes feeling heavy and your feet swollen. After finishing your your work you open your lap top and take a look at some houses. You wanted your child to have a home to grow up into, not some run down apartment on the bad side of town.

Just then your fiancé walks in, groaning as he settles in bed beside you. He stares at the laptop, the page your opened to, and then you.

“What are you doing?” You bite your lip nervously.

“Looking for houses.” He’s tempted to roll his eyes. Taking the laptop and settling it on his lap. “I know that. Why are you looking for houses?”

You can’t really believe your having this conversation with your soon to be husband. Again.

“Kento, you know why. I’m not staying in this apartment forever. We’re getting married and having a baby.”

He rolls his eyes again. “This house is just fine for the baby.”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes.

“I am not having my child grow up in this tiny ass apartment. It’s not close to any schools, and the neighborhood we’re living in is just not-”

“The kids not going to school as soon as he’s out of the womb.”

You glare at the man. Hes so stupid sometimes you could scream. Obviously not. But it’s good to prepare.

“I give birth in a few months, we need this house to be ready. We can get situated and things.” Your fiancé did not like that answer, sighing at you dramatically.

“You already got me dealing with you and the damn baby, now you want to move?” If looks could kill both of you would be dead. The fucking audacity?? You turn to him to tell him off, but he olds his hand up. How dare he?

“We don’t need a house right now. We can handle that when the time comes.”

You stay silent, snatching your laptop back. After placing it on the nightstand you roll over and cover yourself with the blanket.

You’ve done none of your usual nighttime routine, but these days you’re so tired, and dealing with your husband and work on top of that just adds to the stress. You two are always butting heads, never agreeing on one thing. Just when you think both of you have finally settled down, he keeps talking.

“You’re always nagging at me. Always have some shit to say.”

“You don’t have to get worked up over little things and yet you do, complaining and complaining and complaining all god damn day.”

You sit up angrily, glaring and prepared to fight.

“I’m carrying your six pound baby in my stomach while getting hell from everything and everyone. You have a problem, your mom has a problem. Every damn person you know has a mother fucking problem!” He rolls his eyes, which only gets you angrier.

“And I’m so sorry my hormones inconvenienced your day. I’m so sorry that I’m such a pain in the ass all the time. But I can’t help it at the time and I’m trying my hardest to not let them influence my decision.”

Kento takes a deep breath, mumbling something to himself.

You get out of bed, intending to stomp away in disbelief. You don’t make it past the bed room door though before your clutching your stomach.

You close your eyes and try to take even breathes.

The action immediately alerts your fiancé, coming to rush at your side to see if you’re ok.

You try to push him off, your stubborn ass convinced you can do this all on your own. Only for you to clutch him close when another wave of pain rolls over you.

“Sit down.” He orders. But his voice is more soft, easing you back onto the bed.

You comply reluctantly.

“Lay back.” Again you listen, glaring daggers at the man.

He takes your legs and gently starts to massage your feet, touch so soft you two wouldn’t have known you were in the middle of an argument. Both of you are quite.

You can’t look him in the eyes, tears starting to well up.

“We just want what’s best for you.” He whisper, kissing your shin. You laugh, tone devoid of humor.

“It doesn’t feel like it. Everything I do I’m doing wrong. I can’t mother right, I can’t wife right. I can’t do anything right-”

“Your doing just-”

“Not according to your family.”

He sighs and lets go of your leg in irritation. “They don’t fucking hate you ok? They’re doing what they think is best, and what they think is best is-”

“Calling me fat? Insulting my family? Telling me your to good to call yourself my husband? What help that is.” He doesn’t say anything about that. He knows you’re right. Instead he continues to massage up and down your leg, your feet, and lower body part to help ease the pain.

“Better?” He ask, looking up at you through his lashes. You scowl.

“A little.”

He nods, still holding your legs. “Good.”

He studies you. Your tired eyes, your sunken in features. You haven’t eaten like you’re supposed to and he hates that. He hates that his family has such a negative affect on you. And he hates that he just stands there.

“Look at me.” He mutters. Your eyes trail to his, what pretty eyes. His pretty girl going through all this stress. His face softens.

“I know you like to prepare ahead of time. And I know you want to get things done as soon as possible. But you need to take things slow. I need you to take things slow.” He watches as the anger leaves your features.

He takes a chance and crawls above you, placing a kiss on your forehead.

You instantly melt, shoulders relaxing and sighing. He lays besides you, cupping your swollen belly and planting a kiss there as well.

“I care and love you my love, and I wants what’s best for you. So right now we need to focus on what matters.”

Your hands run though his hair, and he lays his head gently on top your belly.

“And what matters?” Your voice is so soothing, he could fall asleep just like this. It’s been so long since he’s felt your touch, to busy with work to come home and spend proper time with you. He sighs. “You. Right now it’s you.” He lifts his his head just in time to see you smiling.

And what a smile you have. He’s falling for you all over again.

“And after we make sure you’re ok, we can focus on us. And the wedding, and that baby shower you want. We can focus on all that after.”

“And I’ll make sure to speak with my mother about her behavior…”

You both sit in silence, buts it’s comfortable this time. You bask in each other, and you both are fucking happy. He coos at your stomach, which makes you giggle, he’ll be such a good husband, and an even better father. He dotes on you, and you do the same.

After a while you begin to get sleepy. “My love.” He murmurs, poking your cheek. He wants to talk to you more. You grunt.

“You don’t talk about yourself all that much.” You don’t understand why that’s important or relavent. Or why he felt the need to poke your cheek. “ ‘S never come up…” he hums, rubbing your belly some more.

“You should tell me about yourself.” You open your eyes to take a look at him, who in turn is looking at you so lovingly.

“Wanna hear all about you.”

You lay your head back against the pillows, thinking long and hard. “Ok well…. Um… m-my favorite color is pink and green.”

He smiles at that. It’s not what he meant, but it’s a start. He pulls up next to you. “Yeah? Why pink?” You think again, pulling your lips in thought. “It’s just a pretty color. Nice to look at.” Fucking cutie. He hums, placing a kiss on your neck.

“And green?” You shrug. “Reminds me of the trees and grass, like lookin’ at it to.”

“What’s yours?” He stays quiet for a bit, kissing your color bone. “Red.”

Your brows shoot up. “Red?” He nods. “It’s bold and intense. It’s like it’s supposed to be intimidating but it isn’t.” You nod.

“Makes me think of passion and courage.”

You giggle. “Passion?” His eyes narrow playfully. He brings his face close to your ear. “Passion.” You shiver.

He kisses every ounce of skin he can get to, having you in a giggling blushing mess. “You like that?” He muses, kissing you more. You nod.

“Good girl.” Kiss. “Got so many kisses in store for you.” Kiss. “So many suprises.” Kiss.

You laugh, actually laugh, and it makes his heart swell up. He hopes his baby has the same laugh as his mother.

“Love ya pretty.” He murmurs, kissing you on the lips. “Love you to.”

[actuallyevilgay]

Oneshot: Charmed

Ascended Astarion x male reader DNI if you are a minor. Dead dove, don’t eat. Please read my about before replying.

Content Warnings: Some Mind Control through a spell, but not for explicit purposes. Tav has a brief history of being a reluctant sex worker but has worked through his trauma. Summary: Tav runs into Astarion 10 years after the defeat of the netherbrain at a party hosted in Baldur’s gate. Notes: Tav would be of a long living race for some context. Obviously spoilers for act 3 etc. No heroic Tav.

A/N: I will be returning to the Apathy sometime soon, but holidays are busy and I had this oneshot in mind.

……

You are healthy. At least that’s what you tell yourself, strong as you are.. Some things are worse than the scars of your body from all the fighting you had to do ten years ago. Before the mind flayers and the tadpole, your life had been a mess. Living as a criminal and thief, willing to do anything morally questionable in order to survive. You shut off the part of yourself that was empathetic towards others, only to regain some of it when you made friends for the first time.

They didn’t know when they met you, what you’ve been through. And even as you told them, you could scarcely feel anything towards it yourself. Not until Astarion. Not until you met someone who understood. If anything, you thought what happened to him was even worse, but he refused to let you think that way. He couldn’t accept that.

When you were a young adult, one of your heists had gone severely wrong, a Zhentarim agent captured you. To repay your debts, you had to serve as a bed companion for some of the most heinous clients the organisation had. At the time, you didn’t care for the cost.. Just the outcome. Being a sex worker wasn’t all that bad, you had convinced yourself. You were treated well most of the time as long as you didn’t act out and did what you were asked to do. To play on every fantasy at the request of your paying customers.. Even if the money wasn’t yours to keep.

They provided you with clothing, food, and comfortable places to sleep. It was an exchange. Much better than sleeping on the streets and mobbing unwitting strangers.

The scars that were made during that time no longer itch and hurt. When the mind flayers for some reason decided to grab you on your way to escort someone, freedom was not something you had thought about in a very long time. The thought of having to find your own meals and make your own camp was strange and abnormal in the midst of everything. 

You could go anywhere you wanted. If not for the parasite problem that required fixing.

The adventuring days that followed left you with many beloved memories, as well as tearful ones. When Astarion tried to seduce you with his usual script, you simply looked him up and down and finished all his sentences, adding; ‘’I know what you’re doing.’’

‘’You’re not the only one looking for protection.’’

It wasn’t long until you ran into Zhentarim again, the dread sinked in.. And so your personal quest became a plot of revenge you didn’t know you so dearly wanted.

It was so satisfying to fight side by side and kill off every damn Zhent you could get your hands on. You took great pleasure in using your newfound strength and allies for this purpose.

The rage you had subdued before spilled out with every breath you took from them.

Equality was very important to you, equal exchange.. And so, you helped Astarion get his revenge and gain the powers he so craved.

You were in love with this man, and he had loved you in return. However.. During the night after the defeat of his torturer, Astarion’s choice of words put you off really bad. You hadn’t processed your trauma at the time, you hadn’t given it space.. It reminded you too much of something you’ve gone through before. A conversation you’ve had before.

‘’I’m not.. Ready to make such a commitment.’’ You hesitated, even if you wanted to be with him forever.. To be safe in his arms, it hit a little too close to home. He wasn’t the one who hurt you, yet your instincts made you brace yourself.. Set up walls. Keep him out.

His fears and anxieties of losing you made him overreach and speak out of turn, so you broke up with him out of fear and heartbreak.

The morning after was the worst memory of your already plentiful collection of awful memories. It broke you, over and over again. 

Maybe he had changed.. But you couldn’t judge him for craving power. You had craved power yourself, as it was something you literally never had access to before mindflayers kidnapped you. All you knew was petty crimes and reluctant servitude.

You didn’t hate it entirely after all.. Perhaps, had you been given the chance to become a sex worker on your own terms, choose your own clients and have your own autonomy, it wouldn’t have left you so damaged.

10 years pass by, The heroes of Baldur’s gate are invited to a party hosted as Wyrm’s crossing. Something about a statue being built in their honour.

When the invitation of Withers arrived at your doorstep, you weren’t on speaking terms.. With anyone for that matter. You avoided the city entirely. 

But this new invite, came to a Tav that had long since healed from his wounds. Come to terms with the things he’s been through. Embraced his sexuality, and grew more comfortable with the world around him.

In those ten years you’ve done all sorts of things, mostly adventure.. Solving mysteries, and occasionally helping your friends on their endeavours. Sometimes, you would re-indulge your vengeance and chase out whatever Zhentarim stronghold you could find on your travels. They feared you. They tried to be rid of you so many times.. But no, If you see Tav, try to be diplomatic. Screw that. If they dared to exist near you, they were as good as dead. And after some time, you rarely saw them again. Perhaps they had designed ways to avoid you entirely, business routes, hidden caches. As long as you didn’t see a Zhentarim symbol on your travels, you stopped caring about them.

One thing you hadn’t done was fall in love again. Gale had exclusively chased after you not too long ago, which you agreed to pursuing at first. Eventually Gale ceased his attempts at courting you, when he came to realise you were not over Astarion at all. 

‘’I’ve had my tribulations with my long lost affections for Mystra.. But Tav, this is different.’’

Gale eyed you with worried glances, his face had aged much the past ten years. You were trying. You wanted to fall in love again. You loved Gale, but it was clear you did not feel the same way as he did for you.

‘’I know we were planning to attend the party as a couple.. But I can’t let you do this to yourself.’’ Gale let out a deep sigh. ‘’Or to me, for that matter.’’

‘’Are you breaking up with me?’’ Your voice was more of a whispered mumble, rather than outright spoken. ‘’It.. It appears so.’’ Gale’s response made you realise he had matured more than you had the past 10 years. Not just physically. Emotionally.

You may have overcome the things that were done to you, but not your heartbreak. Whenever Gale wanted to talk badly about your past relationship, you shut down and refused to even think of Astarion that way. ‘’He has his reasons, he didn’t mean it.’’ Your defences barely made any stance. You were the one that ran away.

‘’What Astarion said to you was horrible, and if he wanted your forgiveness he should have chased after you, despite all his shortcomings.’’ Gale Reflected, only for you to stumble over your words and go silent.

‘’I can chaperone you at the party, Tav, so you don’t have to feel alone.. But let's not pretend this is something else anymore.’’ Gale put his hand over yours, giving you an assuring squeeze. ‘’I will always be your friend.’’ He smiled with such kindness, that it put tears to your eyes.

Then the realisation hit your gut. Astarion would likely be at the party, and that worried Gale more than trying to sway you over to him. Was Gale afraid of the Vampire Ascendant? Or was he simply worried for your wellbeing? No.. Gale definitely learned to care for his own wants. That’s why he broke up with you, not because of your ex being a powerful vampire lord. This relationship with Gale was never that official. You went on several dates, you’ve kissed him a few times. It didn’t get that much further. You didn’t want a rebound.

‘’You’ve gone through so many battles, Tav.’’ Gale released your hand. ‘’Focus on how far you’ve come.’’ 

The party at Wyrm’s crossing had a dress code. One you intended to follow. Ten years ago you wouldn’t have picked such flimsy attire, yet tonight you did. You wanted to show off as much as anyone else. And damn the hells, You looked great. Not just great- No, mesmerising.

It was somewhat revealing, showing your neckline and exposing a portion of your chest. It was loose  and comfortable around the transparent fabric of the sleeves, but tight around the waist. It had a cape akin to a draping sparkling veil, gently gliding over the ground with your every step. You were not here to escort someone, you were here to be celebrated. To show your face after you disappeared for ten years.

To save yourself from the stress of potentially seeing him, you crossed Astarion out of your mind and focussed on mingling and dancing with strangers and old friends alike. You were having fun, you haven’t smiled this much in some time. It was a good idea to come.

‘’You haven’t aged a day!’’ Shadowheart exclaimed, ‘’Neither have you-’’ You quickly responded, grinning as she examined your outfit. ‘’Are you well? What am I saying.. Of course you are well! Look at you!’’ Her hands gestured towards the fine embroidery. 

‘’That must’ve cost a fortune,’’ She muttered. ‘’..Do you-’’ She was unsure how to word it, because it may have come out wrong otherwise. ‘’Uhm- Which one..’’

‘’Oh, I don’t have a boyfriend.. And I didn’t like the outfits gifted by the party’s benefactors.’’ You replied, waving your hand awkwardly, hoping to cross out her assumptions of the list. ‘’I bought this myself with my own money. Have to show off I’m my own person somehow, right?’’ Some part of you felt strange saying that, even if it was true. 

Your eyes glanced towards Gale, seeing him chat with Minthara of all people. The conversation must’ve been interesting enough for her to stick around.. Huh. People change.

Astarion changed.

His eyes met yours, and you both froze in place. He was standing all the way to the other side of the hall, surrounded by a large group of nobles. His expression was not the one you remembered of him.. You couldn’t tell if he was shocked or surprised.. Or- More likely, he had been staring at you for a while now and was startled to see you look back.

You turned your head abruptly, hoping he would ignore you. The walls you’ve so carefully crafted to guard your heartbreak all came back to you. Don’t even think about it.

Don’t go to him. Don’t give him that pleasure.

Every fibre in your being was fighting it. Shadowheart continued talking to you, telling you of a story about reconnecting with her parents. Her mother had passed away a few years ago, and she got a selunite hairpin to remember her by, proudly showing it off.

‘’I wonder if Dame Aylin and Isobel are doing well.’’ You muttered, making Shadowheart look at you with excitement in response. ‘’Oh trust me, they are.’’ She continued to gossip, talking about Karlach and Wyll, and even her own relationship with Lae’zel.

‘’There was some suspicion you were dating Gale, actually.’’ She whispered, leaning in, ‘’Is it true? Is that why you arrived together?’’

‘’I didn’t realise you were such a romantic, Shadowheart..’’ You shook her head. ‘’No, I’m probably not going to fall in love again. ..That part of my life is over.’’ The confidence in your voice lacked some strength, but it was enough to satisfy her.

You did want to fall in love with Gale. He was great- even if your lifespans greatly differed, you wanted to stay with him. Yet your affections were more platonic than they ever were romantic. Forcing yourself to be with him was not good for either of you. And thus, it was better to not speak of it again. Lest you hurt him or yourself more.

Out of a hint of desperation in your heart, you quickly glanced back to where you’ve caught Astarion staring back at you before. He was gone. Likely moved on to another row of nobles and high status people to mingle.. Good. He wasn’t planning on talking to you then. Good.

Not good.

Shadowheart took only a moment to wrap up another story before leaving you entirely alone.

Across the crowd, you tried to find your other friends again, casually dancing with some strangers to the music and answering redundant questions of fans.

Exhausted of all the moving around, you positioned yourself near a table, and took a break to drink some wine. 

Once the dear folk of Baldur’s gate had decided to leave you be, one noble in particular decided to finally approach you.. None other than Astarion himself.

‘’Hmm, I have to say, Darling, I’m a little disappointed you didn’t accept my gift.’’ He casually uttered without greeting you, looking you over as he grabbed a drink for himself. ‘’Wh-’’ You weren’t sure what he was referring to, before he gestured to your outfit. ‘’This is.. You are.. Hmm.’’ He stopped himself, trying to think of a better compliment. ‘’Leaving me speechless, as always. Gods- You’re beautiful, just as I remember.’’ You stare at him, freezing up. Get a hold of yourself.

‘’Oh.’’ Was all you can muster.

‘’Oh?’’

‘’..You were talking about the outfits I was offered to wear.’’

He looked to you with a brow raised, only to realise you must’ve thought he was talking about his Eternal Gift. No, no, no. That wouldn’t have been just a little disappointing. It was something he regretted not being able to give to you.. Clearly. His expression said a lot of things, but disgust was not one of them.

To avoid talking about the breakup, you tried to make conversation.

‘’Which.. One was yours? There was a lot, mind you. And you didn’t leave a letter, I would’ve known.’’

He sighed. ‘’Clearly not something to your taste,’’ He smirked. ‘’Otherwise we’d be wearing matching outfits.’’ You couldn’t tell if that was a joke or a flirt. There was a glint of entitlement in his voice.

You examined his garments, recalling the surplus of outfits you unboxed. All gifts for you to keep. A Majority of which you tossed, only to recall a particular outfit you liked being shelved for another time. ‘’..Ah. That one.’’

‘’That one? Is that all I’m getting out of you?’’ He turned his nose up, trying to hide his annoyance.

You tried to understand what he was even trying to achieve with this conversation.. His tone of speaking felt bitter, condescending at times. 

‘’Darling, you must realise by now that I am still not over you.’’ He admitted, leaning in closely.

‘’I hope you have been well.’’ He smiled gently, there was some mischief in his eyes.

What the hell are you supposed to do with that? Hug him- Kiss him- Tell him how you feel! Tell him what you want- Tell him. Tell him.

No! Don’t tell him! He said awful things. He’s not even acknowledging them- Does he know? Does he care? What the fuck is wrong with him? Walk away.. Walk away.. Please, feet.

You stayed as you were, sipping your wine, waiting for him to continue speaking as you forgot to answer his question. He sighed- Perhaps reciting something in the back of his mind. Nefarious plans? Scripts? No. They don’t work on you. You could tell when something wasn’t from the heart.

He could think of what to say for days on end, plan poetry, to win you back he had to be honest on his intentions.

‘’Tav, I want you to be with me.’’ Came from his lips, his expression changed, a softened gaze. Fearful. Anxious. For a moment your heart fluttered, and then.. ‘’As you should be. You should’ve been-’’ The possessive undertone made you take a step back.

The words fell out of your mouth before you could think.

‘’If I wasn’t ready then, why would I be now?’’

Your once so confident expression, replaced by a gloom. ‘’So forward, aren’t you? Always talking about what you want.’’ You let out a deep sigh as He grew quiet to your defiance, leaning in again.

‘’Don’t.’’ You held up your hand to keep him from getting closer. ‘’I can’t take it. I can’t.’’ Tears swell up in your eyes. ‘’You’re going to say hurtful things again, toss me aside like it doesn’t matter how I feel.’’ A deep breath.

‘’How could I consider Forever, when we were about to fight the Netherbrain? Rush into marriage? Right then and there? Astarion.. You were asking too much of me. I had things to work through. You too, I gather.’’

His posture straightened again as you stopped talking. Your eyes turned to the wall beside you. Hoping he’d walk off, hoping he’d lose interest in you. You wanted to be with him so bad, it hurt you more that he actually still wanted you.

He was considering what you were saying, puzzling it  and turning it in his head. ‘’I admit, that was wrong of me.’’ His words broke the silence. ‘’I was more afraid of losing you, and then I lost you.’’ There was a crack in his voice- his posture changed again.

Mischievous and questionable.

‘’I’m sorry, Tav.’’ His hand reached up and turned your chin to face him, wiping away a few tears with his thumb. ‘’Forgive me, Darling.’’ A faint, but sad smile coated his lips.

What you did next, he didn’t expect.. You pulled him close by his collar, about to kiss him, only to withdraw and turn away. He wrapped his arms around you with a strength you never felt before. ‘’Please, don’t make this harder than it is.’’ He pleaded, needy. ‘’I know- You don’t trust me now, but I can’t have you walk off now. Not again. I won’t.’’

You stopped squirming, accepting that his grip on you was one of desperation and not to hurt you. ‘’If you want to talk, you don’t have to corner me.’’ You replied with a hint of discomfort.

‘’This will be over soon.’’ His response concerned you, chilling. ‘’What? What’ll be over soon?’’

You raised your brows as he buried his face in your neck, feeling him grin against your exposed skin.

Maybe you should’ve picked a different outfit.. He could bite you and drain you just there and then, easily. He is a vampire lord. The damn vampire ascendant himself. You fool.

You shivered at the thought, expecting teeth in your neck any moment.

‘’Don’t worry darling, I’ve made arrangements.’’ He removed his face from the crook of your neck and stroked your cheek. His undead lungs heaved with a breath of excitement.

‘’-What? What are you saying?’’ Fear overtook you, your eyes darting around trying to find your friends. ‘’They are fine, I promise! I would never hurt them.’’ He hoped to see you calm down, loosening his grip around your waist.

In that same second, you manage to twist yourself free, so he grabs your arm and pulls you back, placing a hand to your chin to make you look him in the eye. ‘’Impero te.’’

The Charm spell takes hold, and you stop fighting him. You knew this spell. You’ve used it yourself before, many times. It was particularly useful during heists, or to get a client to stop being rough with you. You’ve had this cast on you by foes before, as invasive as it is. Yet.. This was different. You were self aware enough to notice the change. The walls.. They just fell. All the mental defences, all the reasons to push him away and run off just dropped. The pain you felt from his hurtful words ten years ago stung one more time, as you relaxed in his arms. Frozen in time, unwilling to move away from him.

Why did you say no again? His eyes look to you with sadness, before pulling you in a hug and pushing your face into his chest. He gently caresses through your hair, sighing with some sense of relief.

‘’I would never want to hurt you,’’ The guilty tone in his voice echoes as he places a kiss on your head. ‘’Just this once. Please forgive me.’’ His sadness burns through you, you touch his face affectionately on instinct.

He stops you from trying to kiss him this time. ‘’Not like this.’’ He replies. ‘’..Not like this.’’ He repeats.

You barely hear the sound of the chaos behind you, Astarion makes sure to cover your eyes with his embrace when he notices it. The charm makes you focussed on all those feelings you pushed aside the past ten years.. Gods.. Ten years since he last held you. Ten years since you kissed.

As obsessed with you as he was, he refused to take advantage of you with the spell.

He only used it to restrain you from running off, no matter how much of your bottled feelings came spilling out. 

You held onto him tightly, your fingers entangled in his fine garments. Some of the strings of embroidery had come loose from how deep your fingers dug into the fabric.

‘’My sweet, come.’’ His arms guided you to walk with him into a different direction, still making sure you could not see what was happening.

His grip then tightened a little, firm- but gently, aware the spell was starting to wane. He could cast it again of course, to make it last longer. He hesitated. Once the spell ended, he could likely not do it as effectively again.. He was thinking about it.. Too late.

‘’Harpers!’’ You expected Jaheira’s voice, but it was someone else. Likely one of their high ranking members. Dead bodies were scattered over the floor. Bodies of all sorts of people- on closer look- guards, nobles, people you didn’t expect Harpers to attack.

Vampire Spawn. These people were slain Vampire Spawn.

How many of the guests- All this time.. Were Astarion’s sleeper agents? You lost count, at the very least your friends were not among the bodies. Astarion may have done something to make them leave the building because you struggled to find them before.

The look on his face already told you what you needed to know: This was not part of his plan. The harpers had come to snuff him out. And they were failing- The battle was primarily overwhelmed by the amount of people on Astarion’s side.

Not once did they manage to get close. Astarion protectively guided you towards the exit, followed by The watch which at this point was obviously mostly made up of Vampire Spawn.

‘’You organised this party, didn’t you?’’ You questioned, allowing him to drag you along this time willingly. ‘’Why?’’

‘’This wasn’t the plan..’’ He mumbled something, cursed too, not answering. You tried to stop him from moving further. ‘’You want me to trust you? Talk. Use your words, Astarion! Use your fucking words!’’ Your anger was bursting through, rightfully so.

‘’You came either way, didn’t you?’’ Astarion’s response was a flat confession of truth.

As you stared into his eyes with the storm of emotions boiling through your own, his wicked smile turned to discomfort as an arrow found its way into his shoulder. As the Vampire Ascendant, he quickly discarded it, waiting for the wound to close up right away.

It didn’t heal. Shit.

‘’Godsdammnit-’’ He was about to curse some more, you pressed your hands to the wound to stop the bleeding. ‘’Let’s just go-’’ Without much else to say he lifted you up, shielded by his spawn who were fending off the Harpers. 

The harpers weren’t winning, but he did take a good hit. The arrow must've been laced with holy water or something to keep him from healing. Necrotic damage? Illmater’s arrows? His blood coated your hands.

Certainly he was strong enough to walk off such a blow. It did hurt him, he was not immune to pain. Your panic rose even if he remained calm and firm, carrying you out of the building followed by a horde of regular looking people all swarming around you. 

Gods.. He has been busy. The entire city must’ve been made of mostly spawn and loyal followers. Wherever your friends were- He found a good enough distraction for them not to notice this chaos.

The fight for the escape continued, leading back through the Basilisk gate, and making a way through suspiciously empty streets. Straight towards his crimson palace, only to stop at an alleyway and be guided into what seems to be secretly constructed tunnels.

‘’Urgh.’’ Astarion gritted his sharp teeth, the bleeding stopped, but it definitely hurt, even as it healed slowlier than it should. ‘’I Should’ve planned more, Harpers have no respect for romantics.. Oh Dear.’’ 

A group of Harpers found their way in, fighting the watch while Astarion focussed on keeping you safe in his arms. It bothered you,  he refused to put you down.

‘’YOU!’’ A loud voice echoed, followed by the loud battle screams of other Harpers. It was Rion, Jaheira’s adopted daughter. ‘’This is all your fault!’’

You looked to Astarion, questioning what he had done.. His face contorted in anger. ‘’I have warned you once. She became too nosy. I gave you a choice, Rion. Now I’m going to have to kill you. I’ll be quick, I am not as cruel as you think.’’

‘’A little pity party to get back with the hero of Baldur's gate? How cute.’’ Rion looked to you, then back to him. ‘’Oh no, I didn’t come here for you, most Gracious Vampire lord. I blame him. For you.’’

Rion drew her weapon, fearless. Surrounded with the remainder of her harpers. You did not recognise them, but they just voiced blaming you for Astarion… Yes. Because of you, Astarion was in the position he was in. Because of you, Rion and her band walked happily to their deaths.. To do what exactly? Revenge? Jaheira is probably dead, that would explain these events.

You questioned if you cared, you were living your life happily all this time even when alone..

Now these people were after your life. And they would come after you even if you escaped.

Getting lost amidst your thoughts, the fight continued. Unable to move from your position to help, without weapons and wearing flimsy thin party clothes. It was already stained by Astarion’s blood, getting torn as Astarion pulled you from side to side while fighting off his enemies with his other hand wielding a rapier.

You managed to get a few cuts on you here and there, as he killed them off one by one with ease, even without the help of his spawn.

Silence.

Astarion huffed, his eyes Feral, holding you firmly. The clothes you were so proud of were mostly torn, the cape was gone, the scraps of the top was only supported by your waist band. ‘’..I feel naked.’’ You murmured, processing everything.

Astarion then let you go, watching you cover your exposed skin with your arms, rubbing the chill away. The tunnels are cold and dead as are the bodies of the dead harpers and vampire spawn.

‘’There’s no going back from here, it seems.’’ You spoke, turning your heel, examining the tunnel distance. Astarion’s disgruntled, stressed expression scanned over you.

‘’Their blood is on my hands, as much as it is on yours.’’ Not literally of course, the only blood on your hands was whatever would pour from his flesh wound earlier.

Any other saintly person would scream murderer at him, but not you. You were a criminal before you were a hero. You’ve done heinous things yourself in the past and the present, perhaps this was karma at work.

‘’What was your plan?’’ You asked, trying to distract him from the chaos.

‘’To sweep your delicate self off your feet and take you out to dine,’’ Astarion sighed. ‘’One last attempt.. I set up this treasure hunt to get everyone else away from you, portalled them all the way to Waterdeep. Meticulous planning that depended on you coming at all.’’ There’s a slight dishonesty in his tone. Had it gone the way he wanted, he might’ve bitten you after managing to get you in his bed again. Without asking if he could. 

Knowing yourself, you probably would have accepted the date eventually, laying down all your defences. The charm spell he used earlier didn’t fully take hold of you, it just reminded you of how you felt about him, erasing the pain that kept you away. There was a breath of relief in your mind, acceptance.

‘’Perhaps you should’ve just done it rather than ask.’’ As you say this, you see it greatly upsets him, knowing what you meant instead. 

‘’No.. I should have never said I’d ruin your love. This is on me. I wanted to give you everything Tav, I wasn’t in control of my emotions.’’ His frustration with himself and forcing out his own confessions hurt whatever instinctive pride was in his veins.

The bodies of the guards and harper’s stench finally reached your noise, making you lose balance.

 ‘’I can be patient, If I have to be.. Even if I can’t stand it. For you- My treasure. My darling.’’ He caught you as you stumbled back in his arms. Humming happily and rubbing his face against your head. ‘’Little love-’’

A sting of pain and a sensation of warmth leaving your chest.. You look up to see Astarion look in terror.

He’s been stabbed in the back by a blade, a half dead Rion holds it, shaky, weakly. ‘’Fuck. You.’’ Is all she can muster before she drops down with a final breath. Still- That is not the cause of his shock.

The blade connected you two, while Astarion would easily recover from the new wound.. You would not. His cold blood streamed right into yours, numbing you. 

Would this turn you..?

Your sight blurs, and your mind slowly fades to the death thrums of your heart. Faint sounds of sobbing and screaming ring through your ears. As Astarion pulls you close.

The next time you regain consciousness, you feel even colder. A weight is hanging over you. You twitch, trying to gather what is happening.. Your eyes refuse to function. You can tell that you are lying on a bed, still wearing the same ruined party clothes. Astarion is on top of you.

There’s a sting on your shoulder, neck, as well as your wrist. The blurred image of Astarion holding your wrist  affectionately comes into vision. You barely feel his teeth in your skin when the delirium begins to set in again.

‘’Astarion..’’ Your words slur. ‘’..I love you..’’ 

Your vision starts fading once more alongside all sensation.

When you return to the waking world, you’ll forgive his transgressions, accepting his dark kiss.

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

“because he never accepts that it's never been about righteousness--it's about repentance.” except javert killing himself IS repentance.

well, it’s like 12 different things, because bro had gone days without sleeping and very little food and water and he already had low self-worth and kept asking the amis to kill him and just assumed he was going to die AND THEN valjean upended his understanding of the world and morality. he was really going through it & there are a lot of overlapping reasons for why he jumps into the seine.

but javert is like Number One Most Responsible guy in the whole story. taking responsibility is his Thing (forever bitter the musical doesn’t include the punish me monsieur le maire scene). how else, in his derailment, could he atone for his conceived misdeeds other than by handing in his resignation to god? in the brick he had already left a note urging his superiors to treat convicts at toulon better, which is another step in his repentance (and another crime the musical commits by not including it). jumping into the seine was another step.

honestly a lot of ppl who like the book think the musical was dead wrong to exclude him from the big heaven group sing, because it COMPLETELY undermines the themes of forgiveness and compassion threaded throughout les mis. like the musical was simply wrong lol.

This is helpful context! I am still finishing the brick, although I have fully read the abridged version, and that detail about the letter wasn't included, so I didn't know that occurred! (And thank you for the message--this is a long response but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)

I agree that Javert is certainly deeply distraught and remorseful; like you mentioned, his worldview is literally falling apart, and his actions reflect his mental state. But his death isn't really repentance--in the sense that it's not what God would have wanted. To me it reads like a Judas situation: a desperate realization of a huge mistake, and doing the only thing you think can make it right, namely, ending it all. That's the just punishment for someone so wrong, isn't it?

But true repentance, meaning the repentance that the Lord desires, is about changing your ways, not "paying a price." Had Javert really understood the beauty of Valjean's mercy (an image of Christ's, just as the bishop's undeserved mercy was to Valjean himself), rather than killing himself, he would have lived to also become "an honest man"--in heart. One who could forgive and understand forgiveness, for himself as well as others. One who could recognize that he is not The Law, that he can fall, but that he can also be "brought to the light." One who could accept that men like Valjean, and men like himself, CAN change, and be changed.

It's tragic to me because so much of "Stars," and his character in the book as well as the musical, is about wanting to be righteous, to rise above his birth and the sinfulness he associates it with. It's about wanting to please the Lord by his actions. But in his end, he shows he never understood what God really wanted from him, and that's where my original phrase comes in: not righteousness, but repentance. To live, and face the man you were, knowing it's no longer the man you are. That it's never been about what you've done or can do, but about what's been done for you. That's the Gospel that he could never fully accept.

To use another example you mentioned, that misunderstanding drives why he asks the Mayor (Valjean) to punish him--in his worldview, mercy is unjust, or at the very least, unfair. Evil must be punished; "those who fall like Lucifer fell" receive "the sword." But "as it is written," God "desires mercy, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). God would have wanted Javert to live, and Javert couldn't see that, and that's why it's devastating to me. In his misunderstanding of the heart of God, he misses what would have set him free from the chains of sin he's always been trying to escape.

That's why he's contrasted with Valjean, who (though he carries guilt about his past till the end of his life) is eventually able to face it and confess what he had done to those he loves. He knew there was mercy to be found, if only it was asked for. Javert was too blinded by pride and shame to realize it, and so, while broken, he never was able to truly repent.

For that, you must go on.

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

A Failed Betrothal (12)

It's been a long time coming.

Nearly Two Years in fact.

[Masterlist] [Ao3]

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3) (PART 4) (PART 5) (PART 6) (PART 7) (PART 8) (PART 9) (PART 10) (PART 11)

--------

Two weeks before...

“So we know that Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth and we know what his motivations are for doing this. But you already knew all of this and just needed confirmation. Why haven’t you stopped him yet?” Tim asked, confused at why the Miraculous Team had done nothing about this despite the mounting evidence they had gathered so far.

“We had to be sure. As much as false leads we throw out to cover up our secret identities, he does the same. So it was a clusterfuck to find if he is really Hawkmoth and it had been really hard to gather evidence since he is such a recluse weirdo. And most importantly, this particular plan to defeat Hawkmoth hinges on the fact that Gabriel is Hawkmoth or it wouldn’t work.” Marinette explained.

Chloe frowned, “How come this is the first time I have heard of this plan?”

“It’s just something I thought up when I first suspected Gabriel is Hawkmoth. Also, there was never the right time or the right conditions to carry it out. Mainly because Chat and everyone else made me doubt if he could really be Hawkmoth. Nothing was concrete and it wouldn’t work if I was wrong in my suspicions. I also had other various plans for my other suspects for Hawkmoth.”

“So why does Hawkmoth need to be Gabriel Agreste for this one to work?” Tim asked.

“This plan is tailored specifically for him. Or at least, someone with his mindset and personality. I have met many men like him. Men who are in a high position of power and take it for granted. Men who don't like getting their hands dirty and instead abuse their powers and do everything they can to achieve their goals. They won’t show their faces unless they are certain that they have the complete upper hand. Look at Heroes’ Day and Miracle Queen-”, Chloe winced at the reminder, “-But unlike the others, Gabriel seems more desperate. Desperate to akumatise babies and put his own son in danger for it. Money and fame isn’t much of a problem for him to get. If he wanted world domination, he would have announced it for everyone to know. So why would he need a reality-altering wish that he isn’t willing to risk himself but desperate enough to do this?”

“More power?” Alix ventured.

“Same category as world domination but nice try, Alix. What would a heartless man like Gabriel need a wish for? And be desperate for it. I think he wants to bring someone back from the dead.”

“His late wife, Emilie Agreste.” Tim nodded in understanding but still isn’t getting what Marinette is getting at, “But what does this have to do with the plan?”

“It also means that if we create a situation where there’s a chance he might lose a shot at making his wish forever. He will finally come out of his dark little cocoon and we will have a butterfly net ready for him.”

“Marinette, that pun was terrible.” Chloe said in disgust.

“Yeah. I know. I know. I knew it the moment I heard it. Plagg has been rubbing off on me.”

“How exactly are you going to draw him out?”

“Well, how much is Jason willing to go back into the super-villain business?”

Jason just grinned in reply.

-

“So any questions?” Marinette asked after finishing her hour-long presentation of her plan to her team, her mother and the Bat vigilantes in the Dupain-Cheng living room. They were seated on either the couch, chairs pulled in from the kitchen or the floor with blankets and cushions. Food and drinks were provided by Tom who was currently working downstairs in the bakery.

“Pixie, no offence, but this plan is insane.” Jason said from his seat on the floor while allowing Chloe to paint his nails.

Alix snorted, “This is Marinette’s usual level of insane. You just have to get used to it.”

“I should have figured that out the moment she said that she would destroy the Lazarus Pits.”

“Are you okay with this, Jason?” Marinette questioned, not knowing if his past as a crime lord was a sore subject or not.

“Hell yeah, I’m in. Getting one over a rich asshole sounds fun.”

“And also because Hawkmoth needs to be stopped.” Tim added.

“That too. But mainly the first one.”

“If everyone is clear on the plan, are we good to go?”

A chorus of yes sounded.

----

A week before….

Marinette as Ladybug and Red Robin discreetly arrived at the roof of TVi news station.

“Nadja Chamack?” She called the reporter who was waiting for them.

“Ladybug. I have been expecting you since you called me. Who’s the new hero?”

“This is Red Robin. He is from the Justice League to help out. We are here because we have a plan to take down Hawkmoth and we need every major news station to report on an attack tomorrow at the Trocadéro square.”

“How do you know that is when Hawkmoth is going to strike?”

“It’s not Hawkmoth that is attacking. We are going to do a fake out that makes it look like some other villain is going for the Miraculous but they are on our side. Red Robin is going to give you some information in order to convince Hawkmoth that they are an actual serious threat. I hope you know that this plan will require your utmost discretion.”

“Oh, I will help you with anything to get back that vile man. It will finally be nice to not worry about my daughter turning into an akuma every time she doesn’t get her way. Although, she has been getting better about it.”

After hashing out a few more details and Red Robin handing over a small list of Red Hood’s past crimes, the two heroes exited via the window.

“One down, a few more to go.” Red Robin said.

They both discreetly stuck to the shadows as they went to the next news station on their list.

-

Jason looked at the crowd of people that were gathering in the gym that Kagami had rented using her family name.

“Damn, how did you manage to hire this many stunt actors with a tight deadline?” Jason asked, looking at Nathaniel, Kagami and Chloe, who were all transformed.

Chloe smirked in Kagami’s direction. Kagami looked away, her face turning an interesting shade of pink.

“Kagami has a… friend that has connections in the film industry and was more than willing to do anything for her. No questions asked.” Chloe replied with a teasing lilt to her voice.

“Does this friend happen to have a name?” Jason asked as nonchalantly as possible.

“Felix Graham de Vanily.” Nathaniel replied. Kagami shot him a betrayed look.

“Graham de Vanily.” The name vaguely sounded familiar to Jason. “Hey, isn’t that-?”

“Felix is Adrien’s cousin. Their moms are sisters.” Chloe replied. “And he is such an asshole.”

“He’s not that bad.” Kagami defended.

“Only to you. Don’t be fooled by his gentlemanly side, Kagami.” Chloe said.

“Why is he an asshole?” Jason asked, slightly out of curiosity.

“Felix knew for months that Gabriel was Hawkmoth and he also knows that what we are doing is for the sake of the Miraculous Team.” Nathanial explained.

“Aren’t you worried that he would rat us out to Hawkmoth?”

Kagami shook her head. “Felix hates Gabriel. He is more than happy to help in order to see his uncle’s downfall. He would probably come in person if he didn’t have other obligations.”

“Please, the boy was whipped for you. He would have demanded some stupid conditions for us to fulfil in order to get his help. One word from you and he caved like a house of cards and practically did everything for us. For free.” Chloe gestured at all the actors assembled in the gym.

“Enough.” Kagami said, her cheeks as red as her costume. “Where’s Alix?”

A glowing blue portal appeared next to them and Alix appeared.

“Sorry. Sorry. I know that I’m late.” Alix said and she glared at Jason who opened his mouth. “No wonderland jokes.”

“So how’s the timeline?” Jason asked instead.

Alix shook her head. “It’s hard to tell. There are so many different factors that could make it go wrong. I did my best to make sure that the plan goes as smoothly as possible.”

(That consists of one break-in into a school, taking down some assassins with help of Sabine and making sure that a library book was returned on time. The last one was more of a personal errand.)

“There will be a few more akumas this week.” Alix added.

Chloe groaned. “But we have that stupid project to finish.”

“Another friendship assignment by Bustier?” Kagami asked.

“No. Thankfully, it’s Mendeleive so no need to bullshit some inane talk. Truth to be told, I just been writing out the plots of My Little Pony and changing the names for those type of assignments.” Nathaniel answered.

Kagami frowned. "What's My Little Pony?"

"I will send you some clips."

“Enough chit chat. We have work to do. Sooner we finish this, the sooner we can work on our grades.” Chloe said.

Chloe turned to face the crowd and clapped for their attention.

“Hello, as you all know, I am the Bee Hero of the Miraculous Team. I have one question for you all. Who would like to be part of the team to take down Hawkmoth?”

The room was filled with raised hands.

“Great! Here's Ladybug’s insane plan.”

----

24 hours until. ...

“So you have these anti-akuma charms?” Jason asked, holding the ladybug-shaped thing to his eye to examine it.

“Yup.” Marinette answered by making more power-up potions. They might not need them but it would be good to be prepared.

“Why don’t you use them often? Maybe get rid of repeated villains like the pigeon guy.”

“Oh, geez. Why didn’t I think of that?” Marinette replied sarcastically.

“So these things don’t even work.”

“It did work. For a while. But that annoying son of a bitch managed to find a way around it by forcefully overloading it with his creepy vibes.”

“That gotta suck.”

“Yeah, I thought I had found a way to maybe slow down akuma attacks enough, especially tedious ones like Monsieur Pigeon, so I can get a decent night's rest for once but Noooo, They didn’t even last for two weeks.”

“Why are you even giving me this?”

“Because they do work, just not as efficiently as I hoped. To Hawkmoth, it is what the victim’s akuma object is like to us.”

“Explain, Pixie.”

“So we have to find the akuma object in order to purify it, right? Well, Hawkmoth has to find where these anti-akuma charms are hidden and evilise them. And then, he could akumatise the victim. But it buys us time for the victim to calm down and not get akumatized or give us a headstart to power up. It will also help you resist him.”

“You sounded like you had experience.”

“There were a few close calls. And I also got akumatized once so Kagami had to be Ladybug in order to throw Hawkmoth off track.”

“You were akumatized?” Jason sat up in surprise, “Isn’t that like ya know….the worst case scenario?”

“I was a pretty lame one. But at least, I wasn’t wearing an eye-sore like the others. Dame Justice. My power was to change people’s outfits into anything I want or make it into a disaster. It was at most just an inconvenience to my team. I was just upset that I lost the tickets to a pretty big fashion event. Didn’t notice the akuma until it was too late. But I managed to get the earrings off in time so Tikki could get it to Kagami. Later, I did manage to break out of his hold which made him pissed.”

Jason cleared his throat to get her attention, “So back to the anti-akuma charms?”

“Unless he finds out about it, you would be able to resist him. The others have mentioned that with the charm, it was easier for them to be able to resist him from bending them to his will by manipulating your emotions. The charms make it so you can think more clearly and logically. Tim told me that you are pretty pig-headed so plan B is for you to resist being brainwashed by being your delightful stubborn self.”

----

A few hours until….

Marinette fidgeted in place as she watched Tim fiddled with the equipment and checked if the cameras they had set up so he and Oracle could watch the battle from afar, were working. She felt her father’s lumbering presence behind her.

“Papa, I know that it’s you.” She said without turning around her head.

He huffed in annoyance at the failed attempt of sneaking up on his daughter, “How your mother and you do it, I still can’t figure it out.”

( This was a Dupain-Cheng household joke. Tom would try to sneak up on his wife or daughter or both without getting caught. But the mother and daughter would always know. Even Gina was able to catch him during her visits. He only succeeded once on Sabine and got a sprained wrist for his trouble. He proudly wore his wrist brace despite being unable to bake while he wore it. )

“Trade secrets, Papa.” She looked up at him with a mischievous grin.

“Mon chéri, what is troubling you?” Tom asked, picking up his daughter’s mood.

“Nothing. I know that we would win but I just- I just feel like something might go wrong.”

Tom sat down and hugged her, “Anything I can do to help?”

She leaned into the comfort of her father’s embrace. No matter how old she got, her father’s arms made her feel safe. “It’s okay. I think it’s just the nerves. Well, actually…” Marinette sat up and rushed to her bedroom. A minute later, she came back with something in her hand and Tikki followed her.

“Marinette?”

“Tom Dupain, as the Guardian of the Miracle Box, will you guard the Ladybug earrings until Hawkmoth’s defeat?”

“I- Er- what?”

“This is just a precaution. A just-in-case. On the slightest 0.0001% chance that Hawkmoth wins and gets the Black Cat, there is someone I trust protecting the earrings and Tikki. You don’t have to but it will make me feel better.”

“Okay, I will do it. If it helps you feel better, I will make sure no one else gets them.”

Marinette hugged him.

“Do I have to wear them?”

“No. Just keep Tikki company. It will be in the Miracle Box with the other ones.”

“Thank god. I don't want to get my ears pierced.”

-----

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[ghostofskywalker]

Hey Tori! Sliding in with a 3k (yay!!! congratulations🩷) request for Echo our most beloved <33

I am forever thinking about that one scene where Echo says "Harm her and you're a dead man". It lives rent free in my brain and never fails to make me smile the ways is says it is just so-

So maybe something with Echo being a little extra protective over the reader? Looking out for them and making sure they stay safe?

thank you ezzie!! he is just So Lovely!! i don't know if this is anything like what you had in mind but i really hope you enjoy this :)

words: 1,750

summary: rationally, echo knew this assignment was going to be easy, an in and out acquisition of information. he's just annoyed that he's not the one playing your lover at that gala tonight.

clone troopers masterlist || join my 3k celebration!!

Under a Watchful Eye

Echo watched from his seat in the cockpit as you stepped out of the barracks area of the ship, and the dress you were wearing stopped his breath for a minute. It was long and flowing, fluttering and shifting around your legs with every step you took, and the fact that the color was a near-perfect match to that of his old battalion was not helping. 

But unfortunately, he was not the one you were dressed up for. 

Technically, the mission was the reason that you had donned the gown that had apparently come from Echo’s deepest fantasies, not a person. But still, this assignment required two people, as you were going undercover as guests at a banquet. And much to his dismay, it wasn’t him that had the privilege of being the one who played your lover this evening. 

No, that honor had apparently been bestowed on Crosshair. 

Logically, it made sense why you and Crosshair were the ones going on this mission. Even though there was little to no Separatist presence on this planet at this point, you couldn’t risk being recognized, and Crosshair was the member of the team that looked the least like a traditional clone (and he was also the least likely to draw attention to himself in the way that the others would). 

But even though it made sense, it didn’t mean that Echo had to be happy about it. 

He knew his brother, he knew that there was no way Crosshair would willingly put you in harms way or leave you behind, but there was still a festering cauldron of worry in Echo’s stomach as he thought about the fact that all he could do at this point is just sit and wait until you left the function. He would have to sit by if something happened to you in there, and he hated the thought of it. 

“Do I look okay?” you asked, stepping into the cockpit as you finished putting a pair of earrings in your ears. As well as matching the color of the dress, they would serve as a communication device that could easily be turned on and off from a remote location, this way if anyone tried to scan you, nothing would show up. That was Echo’s job this evening: to sit there with Tech, Wrecker, and Hunter and listen to everything that went on while you and Crosshair were gathering the information they would send back to Commander Cody.

It took him a moment to realize that you were talking to him, and his eyes widened slightly before he responded. “You look amazing,” he said earnestly. 

“Thank you,” you responded, and he could see the hint of a smile cross your face. “I wasn’t sure how the dress would look, since I don’t usually wear this type of thing.” 

“Well, I would never know it if I just looked at you,” he said, the urge to walk over to you and take your hand only growing. “I mean it, you look stunning.” 

You opened your mouth to respond, but were interrupted when Tech stepped into the space. “Oh good, you’re here,” he said, directing his attention to you. “Come with me, I have a few things for you to add to the ensemble.” 

The “extra defense” had been Echo’s idea, a way to ensure that you would be able to defend yourself if necessary. Just in case everything went wrong, he wanted to make sure that you made it out unscathed, and it would be a lot easier if you had a tiny blaster strapped to your leg. 

Right as you and Tech walked away, Crosshair stepped into the cockpit. He was a wearing a suit, the tie matching the color of your dress perfectly. Somehow he had found a way to cover his tattoo, and Echo hated to say it, but the image of you and him together screamed “power couple” to anyone who wasn’t aware of your identities. 

The only thing wrong with Crosshair’s look this evening was the scowl etched onto his face. “Do you have all the information from Cody about the mission?” Echo asked, wanting to make sure they didn’t miss anything. 

“Yes.” 

“And you remember where we’re going to meet you when you have the intel?” 

“Yes.”

“And you know-” 

“Echo,” Crosshair said, cutting him off with a matching glare. “I already got this lecture from Hunter, I don’t need it from you too. I promise that I won’t let anything happen to your girlfriend.” 

“She’s not-” 

“-Your girlfriend, I know,” Crosshair said. “Even though you’re acting like it right now.” 

“I’m-” 

But Crosshair silenced him with a look. “You’re questioning me like I’m brand new to the team, and you haven’t been able to stop glancing over at the entrance to the barracks. It’s not that hard to figure out that you have feelings for her.” Crosshair was right, but Echo did not want to admit it. “Look, if you don’t want to say anything to me it’s fine, but don’t lie to yourself about it.”

Echo was suddenly very glad to see you step back into the cockpit, because he had no idea what he was going to say to that. However, that happiness was tempered slightly when he realized it was time for you and Crosshair to leave. After one final check to make sure that everyone was up to date on the plan, he sat down in one of the seats in the cockpit and watched you walk away until you were too small to see. 

Security was bypassed, and you and Crosshair had successfully infiltrated the banquet. This was an assignment that spawned from an unnamed informant to the Senate, so they didn’t have as many details as they would have liked about what was going to go down, but so far it seemed like everything was going to work out and no major catastrophes would happen. 

“Do you see anyone suspicious?” you asked quietly, and you voice easily carried so that the rest of the team could hear you through the small device that Tech made to communicate with your earrings. 

“Not right now,” Crosshair responded, his voice slightly quieter. “But I don’t think we’ll have a good vantage point from where we are now.” 

“Where should we go?” 

“What about over there?” 

They could hear shuffling, so it was clear that you were moving somewhere, but the fact that this device only picked up audio was starting to get a little annoying. Echo wanted to see what was happening, rather than just hear what was being said. 

Suddenly the music suddenly got a little louder, and his curiosity only grew. 

Finally, your voice once again came through the radio, and he was allowed to imagine some of what was going on out there. “Wow Crosshair, you didn’t tell me you were such a good dancer.”

“I’m a man of many talents.” 

“I’m sure.” 

It was only for the mission, it was only for the mission, it was only for the mission, Echo kept repeating to himself. Although he understood the fact that you and Crosshair were going to be posing as lovers for this event, he didn’t really think about what that might have entailed. The thought of you dancing with someone that wasn’t him was almost too much, but he forced himself to keep his cool. 

***

Trouble always found them, there was no way they should have expected anything different with this mission. After you and Crosshair had acquired some very interesting information from another set of guests (which sounded a hell of a lot like what they needed to bring back to Cody), Tech was right about to tell you and Crosshair to meet the rest of them back at the ship when the sound of blaster fire came across the communication device, and they realized something was wrong.

Instantly, Echo jumped into a frenzy. “What’s going on?” he asked worriedly, pulling the radio device up to his lips. 

“Bounty hunters just showed up!” you whispered. “I don’t know what they want though.” 

“That doesn’t matter, you need to get out of there, now!”

Crosshair’s voice came through the device next. “Wow, what am I? Chopped bantha?” 

“You know I meant both of you!” Echo responded, rolling his eyes. He didn’t have time for the jokes right now, not when you were in danger. “Now, before anyone sees you!” 

All they could do was wait until you and Crosshair could be seen through the windows of the cockpit, and it was taking a much longer time than Echo was comfortable with. Although the communication devices you wore were still technically active, the sounds of footsteps and general chaos really were not of any use to them when trying to determine your location. 

Finally though, the two of you were bounding up the ramp of the Marauder, and Tech was pulling the ship off the surface of the planet and back into hyperspace. None of the other batchers batted an eye when Echo got up from his seat and made a beeline to where you had just walked in. 

Crosshair had already disappeared, probably having gone into the refresher to wash whatever was hiding his tattoo, and you smiled at Echo when he got close enough. “Are you okay?” he asked, noticing a few rips near the bottom of your dress. 

“I’m fine,” you responded, reaching out to take his hand. “We got out of there just in time, no one even noticed us leave.” 

“But-” 

“We took a shortcut through some woods and the shoes they sent me weren’t really meant for anything too extreme,” you said, laughing quietly as you reached up to place your other hand on his cheek. Echo’s gaze traveled back up to your face, and he couldn’t help but fall in love with the smile you gave him. “I promise, everything is okay now.” 

“I know,” he said, too busy drowning in the sensation of your fingertips touching his skin to really worry about what he was saying. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

“Me too Echo,” you said, pulling your hand away from his face. Echo would have been upset at the shift if you hadn’t leaned up and placed the softest of kisses on his cheek. It felt like his skin was set aflame, your lips permanently marking his face; it was evidence that he’d always be yours, even if you didn’t know it yet. “Me too.” 

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

[thisismyname43]

So I'm currently working on an SMG34 story. This book follows SMG3 seeking help from SMG4 because of a little...mishap... leading to new feelings being found and experiences being made 💜💙

What you're going to see is a section of that! So if you find it interesting, look at my profile and you'll find it there! (Or you can alternatively scroll till the end, your choice!)

***

It seemed as though it was a regular Tuesday morning. The sun was shining out in the Internet Graveyard, and all of the dead memes were enjoying the warmth and glow of the sun. There always seemed to be a cheery atmosphere in the air, it had been this way ever since a certain someone was sent to the Internet Graveyard, and had become a legend there. Forever changing the lives of all the dead memes.

But, this individual had not yet awoken, and hadn't realized the changes made to him as a result. Despite seeming like a regular day, life always seems to throw a bunch of surprises your way. This brings us to a man called SMG3 who unknowingly, was about to have arguably one of the strangest days of his life.

From inside of a nearby Starbucks, the sun was beaming through the windows, making the room have a bright yellow tint. Thus causing the aforementioned man to awaken.

SMG3 opens his eyes to find himself in his room.

Looking at the clock on his bed stand, he decided to focus his eyes and check the time. Upon realizing that he had slept in late, he sat up from the bed and took in his surroundings. As he blinked the sleepiness from his eyes, reality seemed to settle in.

'Great', SMG3 sarcastically thought.

Another day of having his daily routine ruined by some stupid idiots who somehow find a way to always wreak havoc on anything and anyone. It was basically his life now. At least once a week he would be dragged into some new shenanigans made by Mario or just any member on the SMG4 crew. He had always thought that they were annoying and wanted to stay as far away from them as possible but it seems as though faith was always against him. Every time he thought he was done with those idiots they would always find a way to come find him again.

It had gotten to the point where SMG3 had even gotten used to often hanging around SMG4 and his crew. He still thought they were pretty obnoxious at times but he knew that he was already getting used to them and even having fun with them at times. Not that he was the nicest to them or anything, they still needed to be put in their place after all. But even if he didn't want to admit it, he knows that deep down he appreciates their company. Ever since he got sent to the internet graveyard, he hadn't really had the best social life. Sure he was a celebrity with the dead memes but he couldn't help feeling quite lonely at times. Yes he cares for them but its not as though the dead memes that reside in the Internet Graveyard are the best conversationalists.

So, he decided that every once in a while he would even try to hang out a bit with the SMG4 crew. They had mostly gotten over what he did in the past and had all gotten along better than expected. Despite their past, the times that SMG3 had enjoyed their company had gotten more frequent. And that is a secret that he would take to his grave.

After finishing his internal monologue. (Being a villain for so long will do that to you). He started walking towards the bathroom to brush his teeth, and to get ready for the rest of the day.

'Hmm, I wonder what I should do today. I could visit the castle again but do I really want to deal with everyone's stupidity?', SMG3 thought.

As he walked towards the bathroom he realized that he felt uncomfortable sensations throughout his body, as if something was there that wasnt supposed to be. It felt strange to say the least but he had just woken up and was still feeling pretty drowsy. So he dismissed it as morning sickness or something. Besides, he could check it out once he made it to the bathroom.

He opened his bathroom door and grabbed his toothbrush. Once he had put a generous amount of toothpaste on it he lifted it up to his mouth. SMG3 started brushing his teeth and once he was finished, had looked up into the bathroom mirror. But once he made eye contact with his reflection, he felt utter shock coursing through his body.

SMG3 had screamed so loud that Eggdog had woken up from his slumber and came inside the bathroom, making sure that SMG3 was alright.

Clearly though, he wasn't alright. Especially when he had WAY longer hair than usual and VERY feminine qualities that he didnt remember previously possessing.

He still couldn't believe his eyes. As he looks at himself, mouth agape, he takes in his features.

As previously stated, his hair had grown longer. It reached all the way down to his mid back and was way thicker and shinier than yesterday. His hips were accentuated and he had slimmer shoulders and legs. His eyelashes, along with his hair, had also grown longer and were framing bigger and rounder eyes.

"WHA- WHY DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL?!", SMG3 screamed.

***

Cliffhanger!

Here's the story if you're interested on finding out what happens next:

See you guys on the other side!

[pluckyredhead]

I am still reading my way through the Fourth World! Last time I talked about all the stuff published in the 70s; now let's talk about the 80s.

Kirby:

New Gods #12: In 1984, DC reprinted Kirby's original New Gods run and threw in an extra issue (not to be confused with Gerry Conway's New Gods #12) so that Kirby could finish the story. This was partially DC being nice and trying to give an aging Kirby money, and partially not because they refused to let him produce the ending he wanted, which was Orion and Darkseid both dying. After a couple scrapped versions, we got this, in which Orion goes down in a hail of laser fire. It's a real bummer, but at least he's extremely homoerotic with his best buddy Lightray first? (Oh, they're getting a whole separate post, just you wait.)

The Hunger Dogs: This "graphic novel" (it's only 64 pages but back then that counted) came out a year later and was the "conclusion" to the Fourth World saga. Once again DC and Kirby butted heads because Kirby really wanted to kill everyone and DC was like "But our IP!!!" In the final version, only supporting characters Himon and Esak die, which is sad but not going to do any damage to DC's bottom line.

It turns out Orion is not dead despite being riddled with holes (there's an intriguing suggestion that he has some kind of healing ability because he possesses the Life Equation, which like everything else in this book is presented with zero context or explanation), which is great because it gives him an opportunity to be homoerotic with Lightray again, although he has also been given an Obligatory Heterosexual Love Interest, Himon's daughter Bekka.

Anyway this book is baffling. Highfather blows up New Genesis (everyone survives) to taunt Darkseid, who is overthrown by the downtrodden masses of Apokalips. There's some shouting about the dangers of technology and maybe some anti-Cold War rhetoric about stockpiling weapons, but it's all so hysterically overblown - Kirby at his most grandiose - that it's nearly impossible to parse beyond "war bad." I do appreciate that Orion is able to break free of his rage and death wish and just...leave Darkseid behind, but the fact that he's emotionally mature enough to do that now comes pretty much out of nowhere. The art is extremely powerful, at least.

My final thought is that Kirby clearly gleefully ignored everything Englehart, Conway, et al. did and I love that for him.

Super Powers: Darkseid fights the Justice League. This was a comic created to sell a toy line and you can really, really tell.

Post-Kirby:

Legends: I've read this before, but it's great. If you like pre-Flashpoint DC, you should definitely read this, which introduces Amanda Waller and the Suicide Squad, sets up the JLI, and brings Wonder Woman into the post-Crisis DCU. Neither Orion nor Scott are present but this (along with the Happyland issue of the original Forever People) really makes the case for why Glorious Godfrey is one of Kirby's best and scariest Fourth World creations. And I will never complain about John Byrne art.

Forever People (1988): Blecch. It's definitely arrogant to read something and think "I know for certain that Jack Kirby, a man I never met who died when I was a child, would have hated this" but like. I'm right. And it's obvious from the very first page.

Basically, at the end of Kirby's series, the FP were marooned on a random, idyllic planet somewhere with no hope of getting home, so they embraced it as their new, hopeful future. This catches up with them years later, with Serifan (the sweet young kid) drooling and raving alone in the woods, Vykin (the only Black character) dead (he gets better), and the rest of them...living in yuppie paradise? Apparently the planet they ended up on was populated (missing the point) with "primitive" people (racist) so they decided to use Mother Box to forcibly "evolve" the people (SO RACIST) and were able to create...modern-day America? Literally why would they even do that, they're from New Genesis. Mark is mayor and married with kids, and Big Bear and Beautiful Dreamer are married to each other with a baby on the way.

Anyway a nebulous villain/evil force called "the Dark" undoes everything which brings Vykin back to life but takes away Mark's wife and kids (she's alive but still "primitive" and the kids were never born) and Bear and Dreamer's unborn child, which means the only female protagonist spends the whole rest of the miniseries clutching her stomach and going "my baby!" I absolutely don't mean to make light of pregnancy loss but this doesn't feel like a story about a three-dimensional woman experiencing pregnancy loss. It feels like a story that reduces a woman to a) whether or not she's having a baby, which is the only thing she cares about and b) the central point on a vague love triangle with Mark and Bear. SIGH.

Meanwhile they all go to Earth for...some reason...and then Mark gets possessed by the Dark and is evil for a while but then they manage to summon Infinity Man and Mark isn't evil anymore. And it's bafflingly revealed that they're all from Earth in the first place from random different historical time periods and Highfather kidnapped them as babies. Okay???

The Forever People are perhaps Kirby's purest and most optimistic characters, and this cynical take on them actively angered me even though I don't actually care about them at all. I've also basically never cared for J. M. DeMatteis's writing outside of JLI, and I don't like Paris Cullins's art, so this book just had absolutely nothing going for it for me.

Cosmic Odyssey: I do not trust Jim Starlin with the New Gods since I know he's going to kill them all off in 2007. This is...fine, I guess? Starlin really does not like Orion, who he has slaughter a bunch of innocent, brainwashed Thanagarians, and also be deeply bigoted against Forager. Everything else is...fine? It's basically all action. The only character who has an emotional arc is John Stewart because this is the story where he fails to save Xanshi because he's being an overconfident moron, but the moral at the end of the comic is like "Get over it already" so...that happens. It's fine.

But man, that Mike Mignola artwork is worth the price of admission alone. That guy's great at drawing.

Mister Miracle Special: The plot of this is that Barda doesn't want Scott to be an escape artist anymore because it's too dangerous, even though a) she's a warrior of Apokalips and b) he's an active Justice League member and she seems fine with that. So okay.

Mister Miracle (1989): Okay, so the basic premise here - Scott and Barda try to adjust to normal life in the suburbs - is good. And it's a spiritual spinoff of JLI, which is of course one of my favorite books of all time. But this book is like...imagine someone screaming "Iiiiiiit's WACKY!" over your shoulder constantly while you're reading. That's what reading Mister Miracle (1989) is like. Highfather wears a tuxedo! Funky Flashman shows up a lot! Scott fights a giant alien noodle! Some of it is actually funny, but most of it is trying so hard to be funny that it's just exhausting.

There are some interesting character moments in there. Scott, Barda, and Orion all get to call Highfather out. Orion mentions wishing he was closer to Scott. There are hints at Scott's depression and suicidal tendencies, which I find really fascinating. But all of it is always immediately overshadowed by ZANINESS.

Anyway, I think we as DC fans deserve a do-over with a new Scott and Barda book about their lovingly domestic (kinky) life together on Earth that is funny but not desperately mugging for laughs in every panel. And I think it should be set in Vegas where Scott has a residency. Call me, DC!

New Gods (1989): This book was mostly written by Mark Evanier (a couple issues were by Starlin), who was one of Kirby's assistants back when he was originally creating the Fourth World, so you might think it would feel the closest to a continuation of Kirby's vision. Instead, I am making it Exhibit A in my argument for why a character should never be assigned to a writer who obviously fucking hates their guts.

I mean, I don't know that Evanier hates Orion. But boy does he write him like he does. Starlin's Orion (who again, we get a couple issues of here) is a monster, but Evanier's Orion is just an incompetent idiot, forever slamming himself against the brick wall of his inevitably becoming his father. Almost every single issue has at least one character, often multiple characters, bemoaning Orion's absolutely unproductive violence and inability to learn or comprehend basic concepts that should not be at all new to him after living most of his life on New Genesis (i.e. justice, mercy, compassion). Even fucking Kalibak is like "Wow, you're a useless idiot." Kalibak! The king of useless idiots!

The comic is so into hating on Orion that it hates on him when he's not actually doing anything bad; at one point he walks into a nuclear reaction that's melting down in a desperate attempt to stop it before it kills everyone, and Big Bear is like "Wow, he's just like his father." REALLY, BIG BEAR? Show me the comic where Darkseid risks his life to save thousands of strangers. I'll wait.

This series also features:

a hawkish, bloodthirsty New Genesis military leader who keeps trying to overthrow Highfather, which both seems to undercut the whole point of New Genesis as well as Orion's uniqueness as The Angry Guy;

an Earth woman with the worst gaydar in the universe repeatedly failing to fuck an increasingly uncomfortable Lightray;

but then Lightray falls in love with a dead woman he never met?;

also Orion gets a crush on a bug lady and learns to stop being racist against bugs (she's not impressed and good for her)

and Lightray and Orion parade around Earth in the WORST fashions of the late 80s/early 90s, which is about all this book has going for it.

Anyway it was bad and I'm glad I'm done with it. Next up: the 90s!

[ink-and-blood-goddess]

All My Love For You (Arthur Harrow x Reader)

Requested by Anonymous-Hiii there! I really enjoy all your stuff and I literally am in love with your writing!

If it’s not too much to ask, may I request for Arthur Harrow x reader fic where the reader is in love with Arthur but she doesn’t think he feels the same? Like unrequited love but in secret Arthur likes her too? Angst/fluff or hurt/comfort would be amazing!

A/N-Finally, another request finished and ready. Again, I felt I’ve gone overboard with this, but hey at least it’s finished. Anon, I hope you enjoy this after waiting over a year for this to be done.

Requests have been opened back up for two weeks. If anybody still wants to make a request, please send it through my inbox or DM (Direct Message) so that I can get started on it :). Lists are down below for better navigation.

Also, on my last fanfic request post, I’ve noticed people commenting down below to be tagged in the next part of it. If anybody wants to be tagged in the next fanfic request or one of my own, please do so, it’ll help me out more when I post…

List of Characters IV

Underworld Requests

Good Omens

Warnings: Major angst, some language, fear of loneliness, not being loved back, mentions of heartbreak, mentions of past abuse, and tons and tons of fluff at the end 

Citrus Scale: 🍎

W.C+: 4.4K

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Love. That’s the only thing you feel for your master and mentor Arthur Harrow. It felt like a stupid high school type crush, but for you it feels more serious than that.

In the past, you’ve had many abused relationships with other men and how they abused your love for them. After your last relationship ended very badly, you’ve had enough and left without turning back. The only thing you took with you was your backpack with only clothes and some money you’ve saved up.

As you walked alone down the streets at the dead of night, you cried your eyes out with your heart aching with complete heartbreak. Your soft sobs echoed through the abandoned alleyways of the buildings you’ve passed by.

Your cries were heard, as a mysterious man came out of the shadows of one of the buildings. He was quite shocked to see you at this time of night. That’s when he noticed your tear ridden face, glistening beneath the street lights. Whatever you’ve been through, he invited you to come inside with him.

With everything you’ve been through and nothing else left in your life, you took up his offer and went inside with him.

Taking you in by your hand, he guided you into the building and took you into a private area for you to rest.

After a few hours of rest and some warm food inside of your stomach, he asked you why you were walking all alone on the streets in the dead of night. Soon after you broke down and told him everything that happened. 

He listened carefully to you as you told him about your past relationships and how they abused the love you’d given them. After your last relationship ended on a sour note, you’ve had enough and left that sorry asshole behind. You sobbed and sobbed with your hands covering your tear ridden face, feeling like total shit as you told all of this to a complete stranger you just met.

But he sat there, listening to you talk about what you’ve gone through and how horrible you were treated. Rubbing his hand up and down your back, comforting you in a way.

He felt so bad for you, watching you cry. Sorrow filled his blue eyes and felt his heart grow heavy with it too. With no other place to go to turn to, he offered you a place within his community to stay and heal from your past.

You were forever grateful for his offer and for himself. You had a place to stay and to call it home. You felt safe now.

That was a few years ago. You’ve been living happily inside of the community ever since and never looked back. Feeling more safe in this new environment and connecting with the other members of the community as well. 

Over the past few years you lived here, you’ve became more closer towards Arthur. Teaching and mentoring you through his guidance. How his soft voice puts you into a trance of sorts whenever he speaks to you.

The time you spent with Arthur, the more he understood of what you’ve went through. How each time his heart grew heavier and heavier of sorrow, when you talked about your past partners and how they never loved you in return.

He’s always there for you. Checking up during the day and night to see if you're comfortable, seeing each other during meal time, and spending quality time with just the two of you. 

With all this quality time spent with Arthur, you’ve grown much closer to him in the past three years. From holding hands to embracing one another under the moonlight, you never realized what was happening right before your eyes. You were falling in love again.

But how? After your last relationship, you swore to yourself not to fall in love ever again. You didn’t want to start all over again. Didn’t want your heart broken. It felt like a never ending cycle for you and it haunted you deeply.

The very thought of it scared you each minute you spent with him. It felt like you were sick, but you were fine. 

Any time you were with Arthur, the pit of your stomach grew more and more wider as your love for him took over your mind. You didn’t mean to fall in love again, but you couldn’t let go of the feeling.

It felt like Cupid shot you with one of his arrows and can’t take it out. That arrow will be forever stuck inside of your chest. Your heart fluttered like a little caged bird every time you saw Arthur or spent time with him. 

The more it grew, the more you loved him. But you never told him. You became afraid of what’ll Arthur would say or think if you say ‘I love you’ to him. That he’ll never love you back and leave you. That’s the thing you feared the most in any relationship. Having somebody leave you.

That’s the very thing you didn’t want happening to you at all. So you kept it to yourself and never said anything about your feelings towards Arthur. Keeping it a secret meant that you’ll never tell him and he’ll never find out about the whole thing either.

You kept your feelings a secret for a few weeks, until one night they were uncovered.

It was a quiet night in the community. A gentle, cool wind blew through the leaves and branches of the trees outside of the walls. Sweeping through the dining hall and into the other areas of the community.

You zipped up your jacket to your neck as the cool breeze passed through where you were sitting in the dining hall. After shivering a bit, you went back to eating the hot, lentil soup that sat in front of you on the table. 

Half of the community members were gathered around one another for tonight’s meal. All of them were talking and laughing over what they were up to or what they did from today. They were all happy, not caring about anything at all. You wish it was the same for yourself.

Your (E/C) eyes scanned through the dining hall to see if Arthur was anywhere. It was really hard to tell through the large crowd of community members.

After looking around for a few moments, you went back to eating. Taking in another spoonful of the lentil soup, you felt the semi hot liquid swirl around your tongue and trickle down your throat slowly.

It felt really nice to have a warm meal each day and a cozy bed to sleep in, but that wouldn’t have happened without Arthur. He gave you a place to stay and food to eat. He also didn’t give up on you either. 

Standing by your side almost every day, as you slowly got over your heartbreak. He never left you alone, until you got better. 

Arthur treated you much differently than the other members of the community. In a way, it made you feel special in his eyes.

After a couple of weeks of staying here, you started to warm up to your new surroundings. The members of the community were very nice to you and accepted you as one of their own. You became a part of their family in a way.

For the past few years of calling this place home, you felt something pull yourself towards Arthur. At first you thought you were sick, but you were completely fine. This also happened on other occasions whenever you were around him too.

There were instances when Arthur spoke to you with his soft voice, your whole face felt hot and glowed red. You didn’t even know that was happening at all and it felt like your heart was ready to explode from it too.

Other times you felt your heart beating faster than it should. The blood rushing up to your face so quickly you almost fainted several times. Your heart felt like a caged bird ready to burst out of your chest.

There were a number of other things like Arthur’s hand slightly brushing up against yours, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, letting you sit next to him at meal times, and spending time alone with just you.

At first you thought it was Arthur treating you differently after what you’ve been through before coming to the community.

 You missed the signs so many times, not even realizing until it was too late. Never realizing that you’ve fallen in love with Arthur.

Ever since, you’ve been trying to avoid the topic and avoid Arthur at all costs. 

You felt defeated in a way. Mostly defenseless against your own feelings overcoming you and your whole mind. Lately, you’ve been overthinking about this whole situation. What would Arthur say and how would he react to you saying you love him?

The awful dread filled both your mind and heart like a large black hole swallowing you whole. Arthur hating and leaving you for loving him haunted you all over the place in your mind. The very last thing you ever wanted to happen was to be alone and heartbroken forever. Still, you don’t really know how to deal with the whole situation that’s causing you pain and torment mentally.

As you continued to eat another spoonful of lentil soup, a hand suddenly came out of nowhere and gently gripped your shoulder. “Aw there you are my dear. I’ve been looking all over the place for you,” a familiar voice followed. Taking the spoon out of your mouth and swallowing the soupy liquid down your throat, you looked over your shoulder to see it was just Arthur.

Arthur looked peaceful tonight. He always is. Standing over your shoulder like a calm shadow. Both of his hands gripped the two handles of his cane, as he slightly leaned over. Several silver strands of his grayish brown hair blew across his pale skin when another gust of wind came through. 

His blue eyes looked upon your surprised face after startling you. He could tell you were quite surprised and somewhat uncomfortable when he touched you. That was soon replaced with a smile on his lips.

“Oh, I’m sorry my dear have I startled you?” He asked as he pulled a chair up to sit next to you. You shook your head a bit. “Not a bit Arthur.” You said with a smile and took another spoonful.

He chuckled a bit, “That’s very good to hear. How’s your lentil soup?” 

“Good as always Arthur,” you said after removing the spoon from your lips and placing it back into the halfway done soup bowl. You then grabbed the cloth napkin from your lap and used one of the edges to wipe your mouth off.

“Another good thing to hear,” he chuckled more at your response, “good thing to have on a night like this.” You nodded in response. Another small gust of wind came through, making you both shiver at the same time.

Arthur had on his beige jacket like he always does at night. Even though you had your jacket zipped up to your neck, you still felt cold from the breeze coming through.

You picked the spoon back up and dipped it into the bowl again. “(Y/N) I like to ask you something,” he said as he watched you put another spoonful in. It was usual for Arthur to ask you questions about certain things, as long you know what he’s talking about. You nodded your head in response as a yes, what is it.

“Have you been feeling ill of late? You’re not your usual self when you’re around me.” You felt your heart skip a beat or two when he asked THAT question. The one you’ve been dreading he’ll ask you about what’s been going on with you lately.

You shook your head. “No, I’m perfectly fine Arthur. Why do you ask?” You asked after taking the spoon out and placed it onto the table next to the wooden bowl.

Arthur shifted a bit in his seat and darted his eyes away from you, as he looked around the community dining room for a bit and then came back to look at you.

“You’ve been acting quite strangely the past couple months, I’ve grown very worried for you. It’s like you’ve been distancing yourself from me. Did I do something wrong or has something been bothering you lately,” his voice sounded a bit hurt.

Shit. He’s starting to notice. I need to put a stop to this now or else. I don’t want to start this fucking cycle all over again, your thoughts took over your mind. This can’t go on forever. You have to tell him. Tonight, but not here. There’s too many eyes and ears all over the place. You have to make your move now or it’ll be too late.

“Yes Arthur,” you finally say, “something has been bothering me. The reason I haven’t been around you much, is because I didn’t want to worry you about it. I didn’t know how to talk about it either.” You turned your head away a bit and closed your eyes.

“I see,” he said as he let out a heavy sigh. You opened your eyes back up and turned your head towards him again.

He was turned away from you, but his head snapped back towards you. It was like he was waiting for you to look back at him.

“Not that I’m mad about it at all my dear (Y/N). I understand that you’ve kept this issue from me. You wanted to spare my feelings from what you’re dealing with.” He sounded so calm, but sounded wounded in his voice.

“Whatever it is (Y/N). I want to know what you’re going through. You can’t keep me in the dark if you continue doing this to me. I’m still your friend here. I don’t want you to deal with this on your own. This issue you’re dealing with won’t let up if you just talk to me about it.”

Arthur has a point there. You can’t keep this up anymore. Arthur deserves the truth. The truth that you love him.

You turned away for a bit and looked through the dining hall, making sure nobody near you was listening. Then you turned back to Arthur.

“Alright Arthur, I’ll talk about what’s been on my mind,” you then leaned in closer towards him, “but not here. I want to talk about it privately. There’s too many eyes and ears around us.”

Arthur nodded in agreement with you, “alright. Perhaps after dinner then. It’ll be much quieter for us to talk. How does that sound?” You smiled a bit at him as you nodded in agreement.

“After dinner sounds good to me Arthur. It’ll help me more with my thoughts,” you said as you felt your face heat up a bit.

“Let’s talk about in my living area. It’ll be much quieter when everybody has gone to bed for the night,” he said as he got up and lightly patted you on the shoulder. 

“Alright. I’ll see you later Arthur,” you gave him a warm smile and he smiled back at you. As he walked away with his cane in hand, you felt your heart grow heavier by the second. You have to tell him. Now or never.

After finishing the last of the lentil soup, you helped clean up and put everything away for the night. With everybody gone to bed now, you headed to Arthur’s living area on the ground floor.

Your thoughts began to eat at your mind again, as you walked up to the door with the crocodile door knocker looking down at you. Before you could knock upon the door, it opened up with Arthur on the other side. There was a friendly smile on his lips. The mere sight of you always makes him happy.

“(Y/N). Come on in. I’ve made some tea for us,” Arthur stepped back a bit and you came inside. Arthur’s living area was quite different from the other living spaces, including yours. It was more spacious and had more room to it. The kitchen area was almost the same size of your bedroom alone.

“Go on and sit down at the table. I’ll bring out the tea,” he said as he closed the door behind you and then walked off towards the kitchen. You walked over to the table that was near the wall towards where the kitchen was.

You pulled out the chair nearest to the end of the table and sat down. Your thoughts raced through your mind rapidly. Trying to think of what to say to him and how he’ll react to it. Your hands started to shake a bit and your fingers twitched. It felt like you were about to have a nervous breakdown. The clinking of glass brought you back to the real world.

Turning and looking over your shoulder, you watched as Arthur walked out with two terracotta red mugs in each hand. Steam swirled around in the air, when Arthur walked closer to the table.

Once he got to the side where you were sitting, he placed down the mug in front of you with one hand and then the other mug at his seat. Finally, he sat down at the end of the table and pushed the seat forward at an angle to face towards you.

“Go on ahead my dear. It’s ginger, lemon and honey. Helps with a sore throat,” he said as he took some small sips from his mug.

You picked up the mug placed in front of you, blew into it a few times, and took a few quick sips of it. The hot and sweet tea went down your throat quickly as it burned a bit. You tasted both the lemon and ginger right away, with the honey following.

It took a moment or two for the tea to cool down a bit to be more drinkable. With your tea half gone, you let the other half cool off some more and set the mug back down onto the table. Arthur puts down his as well, licking some of the left over tea off of his lips.

“So (Y/N). What’s been bothering you,” he asked in a calm voice. When he asked you the question, you felt your fingers twitch again. It’s like your entire body was going haywire.

You thought it out for a moment or two, until you found the right words. “It’s difficult to explain Arthur. There’s so many words and I don’t know how to use them. Like swallowing them all at once, but can’t seem to find the right ones.”

As you started to talk, Arthur rested his chin in the palm of his left hand as he placed his arm upon the table for support.

“Arthur,” you said as your heart began to slowly beat faster, “a few years ago. You invited me inside and let me live here after what I’ve been through that night. I’m forever grateful for what you did for me.”

“Over the past few years, you’ve shown nothing but kindness and compassion towards me. Helping and guiding me through your teachings as I became a member of the community here. Treating me like a totally different person entirely and making me feel safe within these walls all of us call home.

“And through that, something inside me changed. I didn’t know at first. I thought it was just a one time thing, but it never went away. Whenever you spent time with me, that thing stayed with me the entire time. To me, it felt like pulling myself towards you as it swelled up more and more. Still, I didn’t know what it was, until it was too late when I found out.” 

Arthur shifted in his seat a bit. Growing very worried about you by the second now. “Found what (Y/N),” he asked in a calm, worried manner. “What did you find out too late about?”

Your heart began to beat much faster now. Like a bird stuck within a rose bush full of prickly thorns. Your mind racing all over the place, as you try to keep calm.

“I thought of forgetting about the whole thing and just move on. It only worked for a few weeks, until now. I stopped thinking of the whole thing, but they crept towards me and my mind. By now, it was already too late.” You grew silent now. Your heartbeat increased in seconds, waiting for a question from Arthur.

“Too late? Too late for what (Y/N),” Arthur was becoming more worried now. In his voice, he sounded hurt.

IT’S TIME. JUST SAY IT, your thoughts started screaming at you. Every fiber inside of your body felt like they’re going to explode now.

“Arthur Harrow. I’m in love with you.” Once you said that, complete silence filled the air. You felt your breath hitch in your throat after saying that. 

Shock quickly went across Arthur’s face. His hand left his chin and went to the table in a quick flash. “You’re what?”

Suddenly you felt the flood gates open very rapidly, “oh God Arthur, I’m so sorry,” you cried out. Tears began to stream down your face very rapidly. “I didn’t know how you’ll react to this. Ever since I came here and after the shit I’ve been through, I thought it would never happen to me again, but it did. I started having feelings for you when we started to get closer with one another. At first I thought I was sick, but instead I was love sick. Love sick for you. That’s all it is. Feelings for you. I grew afraid that you’ll never love me in return after I declared mine for you. Wasting all my feelings away and I regret that now. I’m sorry for doing this to you Arthur. I didn’t know this was going to happen to anybody, especially you of all people. I just didn’t want my feelings crushed again. I just want to-”

You were suddenly cut off, as Arthur kissed you on the lips. You never saw him get up, since your tears blinded you in your rant. They felt warm and soft against yours. The smell of the tea he made intoxicated your senses as he slowly kissed you. It tasted sweet. Slowly, Arthur lifted his head up and removed his lips. 

He smiled a bit, as tears began to run down his face. You felt shock go through your whole body. Both your heart and mind were fucking screaming like crazy. You opened your mouth, but no words came out yet.

 “Arthur-” you finally said, but was cut off when Arthur raised his hand. “No need to explain any more my dear (Y/N). You were afraid of telling how you felt about me and I understand that. Believe me, you’re not alone on this.” Arthur choked up a bit, as more tears streamed down over his cheeks.

You felt your heart skip a beat or two, “Arthur, what are you talking about?” You leaned in a bit closer, awaiting an answer.

Arthur sighed heavily, turned his face away from you, and slowly closed his eyes. You could tell he felt uncomfortable. There was something else that you didn’t know about.

He then turned his head back over to you and slowly opened his eyes back up, with tears still streaming down.

“(Y/N),” he said softly, “the very first time I met you, you needed help. You were all by yourself that one night. Walking along the dark alleyway and I took you in. You were so fragile, I didn’t want anything else happening to you. I made sure you were safe when I invited you into my home. From that night on, I felt something blossom inside. At first I thought it was something else, but it wasn’t. That’s when I felt it. Love. I fell in love with you (Y/N).”

You felt your heart stop for a second or two, with your breath caught inside of your throat. Arthur. He’s in love with me. But why did he hide this from me, your thoughts were running rapidly as your heart started fluttering inside of your ribcage.

“Oh Arthur,” you breathed out with a sigh, holding one hand close to your chest while the other covered your mouth. “How long have you been hiding this?”

“Three years,” he said in a calm, low voice, “three whole years I’ve kept it secret from you. At first I didn’t know how you’ll react to it. So I kept quiet about the whole thing and went on. Though, I only showed little signs of my love for you. Hiding it was the only possible way to keep it secret. Until tonight of course.”

Three years. Three years he kept it secret from you. You felt relieved and happy at the same time. Arthur felt the same way as you did. Keeping his feelings and love for you hidden, because he didn’t know how you’d react to him.

Both of you have feelings for one another, but didn’t know how either of you would react when you proclaimed your love for Arthur and his love for you. 

“Oh Arthur,” you said as you removed your hands from your mouth and chest and knelt down in front of him. You then placed your hands on top of his on his lap. Arthur looked down upon you, with his tears stopped flowing down his face.

“It’s alright Arthur. I understand what you did and I don’t hate you for it. Both of us didn’t know how to handle our feelings for one another. But that’s okay. We love one another and that’s all. Just the two of us, Arthur. Just the two of us.”

Your thoughtful words brought a big smile to him and to yourself.

“You’re absolutely right my dear (Y/N). We have each other’s love.” He said. You then picked yourself up off the floor slowly and then you placed your lips upon his. With your hands still on his, you felt your fingers intertwine with one another as you kissed and kissed.

At last, you felt your heart sync up with Arthur’s. There’s no other way, but just to keep kissing and kissing as long as you could.

Finally, you have somebody to love you in return and love you for all eternity.     

[petty-crush]

“Iron Claw” (2023)

-This film’s strengths lie in two areas irresistible to me; the ballad of macho tears let loose and invigorating ensemble acting

-the legendary wrestling family, the Von Erich’s, is spotlighted in this very new Hollywood type film

+it is somewhat sloppy, somewhat rambling, but contains great moments of emotional power that sneak up on you and makes you desperately interested in watching it again

-think “Shampoo” or “Last Detail”. Actually there is a very Hal Ashby type vibe to this film. Which is awesome

-actor Zac Efron is really moving(as Kevin von Erich), the entire film he so desperately wants to emotionally unload and escape, and when he reaches the end of this film it is utterly disarming

-before that, a moment of true joy happens when the brothers get together in the ring, and the grin on my face as (the band) Rush is needle dropped into this film was truly as big as the state of Texas

-there is a considerable dark undercurrent to Kerry Von Erich, and actor Jeremey Allen White uses his sad puppy dog eyes and longing pauses to dive deep

-for me, one of the best, most tender moments happens between Kevin and David Von Erich (Harris Dickinson) at the former’s wedding. They share a sweet bond, about the brutality of their father, the championship belt, and the strain of the wrestler’s life.

+it’s moments like this that unspool our emotions to let the following scenes really have their impact

-the intent with the wrestling scenes is to make them sweaty, up close, full of pain when you least expect it. No matter now predetermined the results, the body keeps the score

-“live that way forever” (made especially for this film) by Richard Reed & Little Scream is a solid entry in the film songs catalogue. It perfectly captures the music that will be unheard in a person’s heart

-said song is glued to Mike Von Erich (Stanley Simons) who seems to take the brunt of his father’s crushing disapproval (and he has quite a bit to go around)

-the iron claw in question is not just a finishing move but an apt description of the hold the dad has over the whole family and their nerves

-full credit to Holy McCallany, he never shrinks from showcasing father Fritz Von Erich’s ugly side while making it clearly possible to see how such a human being could become so self damaged and bitter

-possibly the best shot in the entire film is where all the boys and the dad are in the ring, and the camera very slowly zooms in from the rafters.

+The father is detailing all his plans for his kids, and since the camera is one shot, we see all the boys reaction in real time in same frame, the gravity weighing down on their souls as each gets their own verbal dead end contract

-in years to come this will definitely be a film people bond to, despite the heavy tragedy, because what each actor brings to the group, representing a different feeling

-there is poetry in the final scene, a delicate balance that erupts in full power, even if it only ripples to the surface

-what I love about it is how the kids factor in, with their own kid logic.

-a man sees his children playing together, he can’t help but cry. As his children check in, he apologies for shedding tears, echoing what his emotionally illiterate father taught him. The child chimes back “what are you talking about? We cry all the time!”

Somewhat startled, the man lets the children know how he misses his brothers. And then, perfectly delivered, “that’s ok, dad. We’ll be your brothers now”

What a moment. What a force of exhale, the body removes a piece of glass and then it starts to heal (metaphorically).

And then they play catch.

-I really loved this film. I want to watch it again. I accept its flaws, like I accept the characters, because they are not their mistakes. Not a dealbreaker. They live, and that’s more than enough. From now to Forever.

[autisticblueteam]

Appears from the ether again, after months of only being present enough to fill my queue up, with some WIP snippets from the gen:LOCK re-write I mentioned before...

And also finally adressing these tags lmao, sorry @thesouppond I realise these are like 3 months old.

#FUCK IM JUST SEEING THIS NOW???#FUCK YEAH 2024 SEASON OF EVERYONE GETS TO REWRITE GENLOCK CAUSE FUCK S2#Ahem anyway hi genlock moot :)))#I love your writing btw! Ive read your existing GL fics theyre great!#at this point if someone can give me a GL fic i havent already met I will forever be indebted to you i am DYING for GL content

We're really out here trying our best to do better by GL than HBO did huh!! I've been loving Reloaded, it was so nice to see someone else pop up in the gL tag after it was comparatively dead for so long. I've been working on my re-write since just after s2 came out and it was lonely in there for a while there lmao.

So I'm glad you enjoyed the couple of fics I've already done! I'm re-using parts of one of them for the actual re-write since I'm going for the 'keep the basic bones of s2 but aim to fix the execution into something less shit/re-work the worst bits' and I didn't want to write that first nemesis fight over again from total scratch lmao...

I want to finish writing all of the re-write before I post it in full, but that does mean it's taking forever whoops.

I'm still not past the introduction of Sinclair as his portion is so involved and I keep getting distracted by other projects/hobbies, but I did finally get to a point where my take on Sinclair is actually fun to write! I'm keeping his boyfriend because I did at least like that Sinclair was made canonically queer and they're actually cute when I'm just doing my own thing.

So since I feel like posting some WIP bits, here's my favourite Chris/Sinclair stuff I've done so far.

“YEAH! Take that you fucked up tin can!” Sinclair winced. The shout was like an ice pick being driven into his skull, but it was also what finally drove him to lift his head. There ahead of him, wielding a large piece of debris in one hand, was a heavyset Asian man dressed in torn clothes and covered in grime. He reared back, and for a split second Sinclair thought that projectile was for him, until he heard an impact, and the last of the humming died. The man brushed off his hands, pride written on every feature, and in that moment he was the most beautiful thing Sinclair had ever seen. “Coast’s clear!” the stranger called behind him. There was movement, but Sinclair didn’t care to look, his attention caught by the man’s approach. “And we’ve got a live one.” Sinclair’s throat was so dry he broke down coughing twice, in the time it took the stranger to kneel in front of him. “I-I’m not Union. I-I know— with the uniform, and the—” Another violent burst of coughing cut him off. The stranger handed him a canteen and a crooked smile. “Yeah, no shit. You’ve got way too much emotion on your face to be even a defector,” he said, and if Sinclair wasn’t so busy chugging the offered water, he might have mustered a laugh. “That, plus, the lack of helmet, the collapsing, and the drone getting ready to turn you into a novelty cheese grater kinda gave it away.” “Christ, I could kiss you right now,” Sinclair blurted and then regretted in quick succession. Fuck. He’d been in near solitary too long, his filter had worn away to nothing and he was making a damn fool of himself in front of the first sane people he’d seen in weeks. Except the stranger just… laughed, good-naturedly. “Close, the name’s Chris, not Christ. And I’d say buy me dinner first, but it’s a bit hard out here.”

AND then a little later...

“What about the refugee railroads?” Chris lowered his beer bottle and wiped his mouth. “Too far.” “Vanguard safe crossings?” “Too far.” “The— fucking Canadian border?” Chris laughed, “Too far. Further than either of the other things. Jesus, dude. You sure you haven’t got a concussion?” “Mostly,” Sinclair said, rubbing his face with his intact hand. “I just— you’re going to die if you stay here. A drone only has to get lucky once.” “And if we go deeper in, we’ll only die faster,” Chris said with a simple shrug. “We already have to pack up and move every few weeks when the line moves. And every time, the Polity border gets a little bit further away. Believe me, man, I want nothing more than to get outta here, but it’s just not happening.” “What if I helped?” The offer fell out before he’d consciously decided to make it, but Sinclair stood by it. Even when Chris looked at him dubiously. “No offence, dude, but you’re just one guy. And two days ago you could barely stand.” “And now I’m fine,” Sinclair insisted. “I’m a soldier. I was decorated for valour after I got my squad out of a run-in with the Union that should’ve killed us all. I was the only one who could even still hold a gun. I swear, I could get you somewhere safe. Are you really telling me you’d rather keep sitting around waiting to die than take a risk?” Chris’s brow furrowed, and he didn’t answer immediately, taking another swig from his scratched up bottle of beer. Sinclair sighed. “Look. I need to get to a Vanguard base one way or another. I don’t want to leave you guys behind if I don’t have to. I owe you my life. And maybe dinner.” Chris almost choked on his drink. “Wow,” he laughed, clearing his throat, “you sure pick your moments, huh?” Sinclair shrugged. “Figure if you’re not actually into it I’ll just blame the concussion.” “That you don’t have.” “Exactly.” Chris rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Smooth. Smooth operator. Alright, alright, fine, we’ll talk to the others in the morning. It might be a tougher sell when they’re not the ones getting dinner with a hot soldier out of it, but hey, guess we’ll see.” “Are you looking past the just-got-done-being-tortured chic, here, or is that part of the charm?” “Are you kidding? There’s a whole genre focused on how hot soldier guys look after they’ve been through hell.” “Not sure that’s the intended takeaway of action movies.” “Well,” Chris shrugged, starting to pick at a can of food, “it was definitely my takeaway.” Sinclair laughed. Honest-to-god laughed, in a way he was surprised he was even capable of after the last few weeks. The normality of the moment was like a balm on all the aching parts of him, mental and physical alike. For a moment he could almost forget that the reason he looked like shit was because he’d just escaped the worst experience of his life. For a moment it felt like the fight was over.

Now I just have to actually get through the remainder of my Sinclair set-up and then I'll be only one chapter away from finishing the first half of the fic... so close and yet so far lmao.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Dead Friend Forever ep 8

I had started a re-watch of eps 1-4 - I got half way through ep 1 over breakfast this morning - but I came home tonight to a message from @kayatoasted which implied that I should finish catching up with the eps before I do my re-watch. So, here goes!

Let's see how Non can fuck his life up even more!

I like Tee's shirt, it's not one I've seen before and I want to see it again.

I wonder why we haven't seen any of the repercussions for the tutor because of the leaked video...

Am I supposed to recognise that man who walked out of the Tee's Uncle's place when Khun Keng sat down?

He was not being subtle at all. No wonder they went after him...but running him down is a bit of an extreme reaction to someone just looking a bit shifty in their food stall.

Ok so Khun Keng is dead.

Wow this is really hard to watch. Poor Non. Not only is he second/youngest child but he has to live up to his older brother who's doing well, and Non just keeps fucking up. And both parents should take equal responsibility not just blame the other.

I'm wondering if we're going to be seeing Non without his medication...

'JRPP' posted the video (What if it was Non? What if Non has split personalities? But then how would he have gotten the video from Jin? 🤔)

So Tee kind of has a conscience...he's an ass to Non but doesn't want him killed.

Non has snapped, obviously, but I wonder how much of that is to do with him not taking his medication. I'm leaning more towards it being for a mental illness and this is all really exacerbating it. I love unhinged Non though.

It is funny how Jin and tee have reversed roles... And that framing was delicious - Jin trapped in the situation.

Another BANGER of a t-shirt for Non - 'We all get lost sometimes' - that's both metaphorical and physical isn't it? 😂

And oooo is that the knife he's putting his that bag?

I loved the contrast between the first episode - when they arrive at the house they sound pleasantly surprised it's not that far/long but now they're moaning about how long it took to get there. PERSPECTIVE.

Oh and that water is going to be spiked, isn't it?

🤣 I'm actually laughing at their very real fear of Non. I can't see how it's going to end but this is brilliant! Yes! they all get to hear how awful Tee is 👏🏽

Damn, Fluke, I want to shake him - 'I have no part in this', when his passiveness is actually a choice to allow the bad things to happen to Non, therefore he absolutely does have a hand in it.

I love that Non's dad, who has been accused by Non's mum of caring too much for Non, is in a dark blue shirt showing his support, and Non's mum, who has been accused by Non's dad of not caring enough, is in the cream top.

And Phee is also in a dark blue shirt! And he's still wearing the red bracelet! DELICIOUS! So he still cares about Non...and I think he will be avenging Non in the future.

Love the parallel of making Jin drink the beer and making him drink the alcohol in the first ep. I don't know why Jin sticks with them when he clearly doesn't like them or agree with what they do...and yet he's still there in the future. But also, maybe this is why he's going abroad. To get away from them.

I also love the ambiguity of whether Tee's uncle killed Non or not, and that Tee really wants to know.

Oh is that watch Khun Keng's that Tee's uncle is wearing?

Yay! Phee's still in blue!

Ohhhh what if everything in the future is more about Tee's uncle and Phee's father?! So Phee gets in with that group because of Tee and wanting to help his dad somehow to get Tee's uncle and in the process discovering what happened to Non and avenge him...? That's a long-ass ploy because the future events are at least 2 years after what we're seeing now...

Oh poor Phee. Yes! avenge your pookie!

WHAT. WAS. THAT?! Is that Tan maybe?!

In my ep 1 rewatch, I was wondering about how Phee and Tan got to know the group and wondered if they (Phee and Tan) knew each other before and both transferred together with a purpose in mind...and now after that trailer for ep 9 I'm leaning more towards exactly that. One thing I am a bit confused about though is that the way Non's mum talks implies that she doesn't work but the first time we saw her she had on what looked like a police uniform, no?

[krys-loves-otome]

OC Ship Chart!

It's taken me a few days and I'm probably only gonna do these three, but I've finally finished the ship meme Mo (@xxsycamore / @kissmetwicekissmedeadly) created!

Forewarning that I forgot to add in some emoji options and I can never remember MBTI types so I just put idk for all of them as I was too lazy to look them up (nor am I interested in learning them, sorry!).

Picrew for the girlies from here!

-Suitor ages are not confirmed in ikesen (or really in many otome games) so I just gave Mitsunari a ballpark, while also making him the same age as Houki. I think it's cuter that way.

-Sexualities are also not explicitly stated, but you can pry my ace spectrum headcanons for Mitsunari from my cold, dead hands.

-I don't think IkeSen has representative animals, so I just put cat because both of them have had cats as pets at one point or another.

-I am pretty sure that IkeSen does have flowers that represent the suitors, but the only ones I can remember offhand are Hideyoshi (sunflowers), Mitsuhide (bellflowers), and Nobunaga (spider lilies, but not 100% on that one). Daisies was picked at random (and they are in that above cg, so that's why Mitsun gets daisies)

------

-20cm would be about 7-8 inches (Vincent's 5'9 compared to Abby's 5'1)

-Who knows how old the ikevamp suitors are when Comte pulls them into 19th Century Paris, but I have done some light research on the Van Gogh brothers and know that there's roughly four years between Theo and Vincent, so I just did an estimate for Theo's age and added on 4 years. That's my logic and I'm sticking to it.

-For the life of me, I couldn't think of any nicknames Abby would call Vincent. Not that there's anything wrong with that, sometimes the most romantic thing is being called by name in a certain tone that's enough to get someone riled up!

-I see Vincent as not caring much about gender presentation, so long as he can paint the person he likes and they're nice, he's happy with whoever his partner is. I can also see him being at least a lil curious with Shakespeare because of this.

-Same as Mitsunari, I put his representative animal as his pet bc I didn't have any better ideas, lol

-Also can't remember specifically when the first kiss happens in his route, but Vincent's route is fairly smooth sailing in the first three quarters, so I'm putting in towards middle bc I can't remember specifically when they kiss first, so I'm putting it towards the middle as a conservative guess.

-MC didn't really get kidnapped as much in Vincent's route that I can specifically remember (save for the ending where she's time-napped (?), but this reading is fairly accurate.

-Vincent is still learning about his emotions, so allowing himself to experience romantic love is gonna take a while, like all his other emotions. For Abby, she's just got low self-esteem so sometimes doesn't feel like she's worthy of love at first.

-Abby can decently cook, that makes her the more responsible adult in the relationship, lol

-Vincent brushing Leonardo's hand off of Abby's head lives rent-free in my mind and I'll forever feel a certain way about that scene.

-Vincent defies time laws to get back to his true love, so he's rebelling against the system in that way.

----

This is cheating since this was meant for Cybird's IkeSeries games, but it's Miri's birthday in a few days and I just wanted to add her and Lucifer too, and that's reason enough for me!

-Obey Me boys don't have canon heights (yet, as of this posting), but my heart is set on Lucifer being over 6 feet tall (180cm ish), so that's where I'm putting him.

-10M here stands for 10 million years. Luci is a demon (formally an angel) so he's got some eons on him. Very much an old man if there was one, lol

-All Obey Me Suitors are pansexual by default because the MC has no set gender and the suitors will love them no matter their gender presentation because of this. Still waiting on Thirteen to be dateable so that she can flirt with my girlie properly tho.

-The Peacock animal representation is canon. As is a sheep for the MC, as they are often shown with a sheep in their icons in chats.

-Debated back and forth with their representative flowers, esp with Lucifer between roses and spider lilies, and ultimately went with the spider lilies cause I liked the metaphor tied to them better for Luci.

-Lucifer is more than ready to put his loved ones before himself to make sure they are safe and happy, as he's proven time and time again.

-He's also emotionally constipated sometimes, thus why Miri realizes it's love faster than he does, lol.

-Luci is very much the responsible adult as Miri is constantly pulled into shenanigans with his younger brothers.

-Listen, the jealousy thing? He has to fight for Miri's attention between his six brothers, his boss, his boss's butler, his former angel comrades, and her a shady sorcerer. Can't he hold her for just a few moments? Sheesh..

-The whole reason Lucifer is a demon in the first place is because he rebelled against the system in the name of love and Miri would actively fight God because of what Lucifer and the others went through if she could.

-Miri literally wouldn't exist without Lucifer's rebellion. He rebelled to try and save his sister, who was an angel too, but she gets reincarnated as a human who became Miri's ancestor, so… yeah, Miri wouldn't exist if Lucifer hadn't rebelled in the name of love.

[aworldforastage]

long incoherent rambling after finishing 遇蛇/Encountering a Snake by 溯痕

[unmarked spoilers ahead]

I heard about this novel's reputation as the angsty mortal/immortal reincarnation romance since I started reading danmei two years ago. I expected to it hurt, but it still took me by surprise.

It's full of every flavor of pain you can expect from regret, loss, loneliness, and pining, turns them into a knife to cut you open, and then crumbles it all to dust to rub the grains into your wounds.

Shen Qingxuan

For the most part, I don't feel like Shen Qingxuan's story is all that sad. He knows what he wants, he knows how to get it, he isn't afraid of going all-out to pursue it, and he doesn't regret the sacrifices he has to make to achieve his objectives. In the end, he gets most of what he wants. 求仁得仁也不过如此。

Shen Qingxuan never gets Yi Mo to reciprocate his love while he is alive, but all he is actually missing is a declaration. That declaration is important, yes, but in retrospect, it doesn't seem to matter much compared to everything else.

Yi Mo's name is on his headstone. Their adopted son bears his surname. All of their happy memories as a family is from Shen Qingxuan's lifetime. They all still think of that soul as Shen Qingxuan's, regardless of which body it is in.

Ji Jiu

Throughout most of the story, the arc that really got to me is Ji Jiu's story in Book 2. It manages a real "mutually unrequited love" -- Yi Mo loves a dead man reincarnated as a very different Ji Jiu. Ji Jiu falls for Yi Mo, who only wants the dead person Ji Jiu reminds him of. His life as Ji Jiu is forever changed by these people who comes to him searching for pieces of Shen Qingxuan, but it turns out they don't actually want him, Ji Jiu, at all.

And in some ways, it seems like even the narrative never quite forgives Ji Jiu for refusing to surrender his identity to become Yi Mo's Shen Qingxuan. Liu Yan dislikes him before he regains his full conscientiousness. Later, he disowns Ji Jiu's son, who is still alive, despite still granting much more patience and goodwill towards the descendants of the Shen family, because the later has accepted his and Yimo's relationship. (Never mind that Shen Qingxuan and Yi Mo both took care of the Shen family extensively, while Ji Jiu's family life is obliterated by Yi Mo's appearance.)

And it's so cruel because Ji Jiu and Shen Qingxuan are so similar -- so smart and passionate, so generous and proud. It feels like Ji Jiu is how Shen Qingxuan might have lived if he were never crippled. But Ji Jiu is allowed to be hurt and forgotten at the expense of Shen Qinqxuan's memory, by the people who would never fathom doing it to Shen Qingxuan himself.

Yi Mo has his moments, sleeping on Shen Qingxuan's headstone and cuddling up with his decaying bones to sooth his centuries-long heartache. But after all his searching and waiting and sacrifices, he gets what is looking for.

Yet Ji Jiu, the proud, brilliant General Ji Jiu dies alone on the battlefield, longing so intensely a part of his soul breaks off waiting to see Yi Mo come for him one last time -- and Yi Mo doesn't, at least, it's not for him.

Liu Yan

Liu Yan's arc doesn't hit me as hard because I was still reeling from Ji Jiu's death, but also because he never gets enough of a sense of self. He spends his early years intellectually disabled because his literal soul is incomplete. When he gets his full intelligence and consciousness back, he also gets his memories back -- and he is pretty much Shen Qingxuan again. Even though the narrative still calls him Liu Yan, he only feels like Liu Yan for a very short amount of time, and the rest of the time he is more like Shen Qingxuan's miracle second chance at life.

But soon after, still in Liu Yan's body, Shen Qingxuan and Yimo have to contend with mortality and their impending separation by death, again. Even when the family is together, so much of their energy and thoughts are taken up by "what about when this ends?" and that is just slow torture.

This is the arc that really grills you with dread and anxiety. This is everything you wanted, which you can only have for a little while, and it's here now, so what comes after? And it's brief and fleeting and so, so costly, but it's never going to get better than this bittersweet moment. How do you keep hoping and living?

Even though Shen Qingxuan and Yi Mo have the strength to keep going, to the make the best of their moment, I feel like I'm at my limit.

And so

In a genre where immortals exist, the main characters are firmly tethered to mortality. We watch their friends and family age and die, and passage of time blurring the marks left by those who came before. And not only do we have to grieve that loss, but we are also constantly reminded whatever happiness our characters find, it is limited in a similar way by mortality: short, but also capricious and fragile.

And then it ends, and there will nothing left behind, except scars and pain, and if they are really lucky, a few happy memories.

[northlight14]

It’s rambling about rare pairs O’clock bitches so buckle in!!

Today we have Mondo X Byakuya because not enough love is given to this ship!! Granted, Naegami and Ishimondo will forever own my heart but Mondo and Byakuya definitely have the potential for some great interactions.

To preface this, I’ve only finished the first danganronpa game and I’m only onto the 3rd trial in the second game. Please don’t give me spoilers for anything beyond that or any other type of danganronpa content. All these points are gonna be based off of the first game and there will be spoilers for that game so warnings for that

For these headcanon’s, just assume I’m talking about a non-despair au

Ok, in terms of tropes, right off the bat we’ve got the rebel x prep kinda dynamic which I love. It’s also just two assholes in love which honestly is a very fun trope when done right. Also enemies to lovers, which is best trope

Would they argue a lot? Probably. I don’t see this being a relationship that would last forever. HOWEVER, I do think they’d have a good impact on each other in the time they are together. We all know Mondo is very insecure about his masculinity meanwhile Byakuya at least seems to be more comfortable with things seen as typically “feminine.” He has his clothes be professionally made and takes great care in his appearance and (ignoring the whole Chihiro situation), he states several times that he doesn’t want to touch a dead body, something the other characters in the game seem to consider a more “masculine” trait, calling it weird that Kyoko is so comfortable touching dead bodies while being a girl, among other things (these gender roles are so weird, bro😅). So I think Byakuya would be able to help Mondo with seeing a new side to masculinity and being a man that isn’t just violence, yelling or having to asset physical strength. After all, Byakuya is more in touch with what is stereotypically seen as “feminine” traits and he’s one of the most powerful men in the country!

In contrast, Mondo could help Byakuya relax a bit and just live freely, embracing life rather than working 24/7 for once. These 2 could give each other a moment to just breathe and not have to worry about being the best for once and I think that’s really important

They also have a lot in common when it comes to their backstories. No one on this Earth can convince me that Byakuya doesn’t feel some sense of guilt or survivors guilt over what happened to his siblings. Granted, they may not have physically died (not by his hand, anyway) but they’re still seen as dead to the family and their lives were ruined because Byakuya defeated them. Meanwhile, we know Mondo has some really intense survivors guilt over his brother. Because of this, I think they’d be able to understand each other in a way most others can’t. Mondo I think would also fucking hate Byakuya’s dad (same bro) and would either help Byakuya stand up to him or would yell at him on Byakuya’s behalf (cut to Byakuya falling in love with him all over again.)

Both have a competitive streak that means there’s a lot of opportunities for fun banter and friendly competitions

I headcanon Mondo is trans, and at this point I will forget that that’s not just canon. As for Byakuya, I think he’d realise later in life that he’s non-binary. All I’m saying is, t4t couple my beloved. They also both have ADHD in my mind (mainly for projecting reasons) and just them bonding over their experiences and trauma related to that I just thejfhwbskfhs