#i asked this one writer how they make their smaus and at first i thought they just didn’t see my message

[gamerwoo]

cant believe i just got ignored like that 💀

[feelbokkie]

L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 16

PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader

WARNINGS: swearing, mention of food and eating

GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff

P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?

TAGLIST: open

W♡RD C♡UNT: 1,485

SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 21

A/N: Merry Christmas and Happy first night of Hanukkah to all who celebrate! Happy Wednesday to everyone who doesn't! Here's a new chapter! (Or happy Thursday if it's the 26th for you)

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

You double-check the draws of your desk, making sure you have everything think you’ll need for the second keg of the tour. Your top drawer is filled with snacks that you know Frankie and Wonseok will devour within a week-- if they even let it last that long. But the files you’ve kept on rookie groups and potential idols that you think may debut soon—debut in general— sit in a small box that you’re planning on dropping off at the group of desks that being to the junior writers in your department.

It’s something you should have done when you first got your promotion. You should have tried again before you left the first time, but a part of you thought you could still use the information you gathered over the years. But if the “My Summer a Stay” project with Stray Kids goes well, you’ll spend more time covering already established groups rather than rookies and survival show contestants.

“Getting ready to leave us again, huh?” Yoona, one of the reporters in your department asks as she walks up to your desk.

Saying she’s in your department is a stretch. She works in the entertainment department of the paper like you, Wonseok, and Frankie but she works in the gossip division. More specifically, she’s one of the few people the company hired to work specifically on scandals within the music industry. Calling her your archnemesis is a stretch but while you work to build up careers, she breaks them down. And for that, you dislike her strongly. You don’t even hide it. At least, not well.

“Yeah, the tour is starting up again.” Your voice is flat and even, trying to show as much disinterest in the conversation as you possibly can so she’ll leave you alone sooner.

“I envy you, Y/n.” She sits on the edge of your desk, trapping one of the folders you need to take with you but don’t want to get bent in your bag. “You’re just with these idols all of the time. I can only imagine what you must hear and see…”

That’s why she’s here…

You tilt your head to the side; your eyes widen almost with a childlike wonder. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” She chuckles softly as she leans in closer. “I took a sneak peek at your little secret project. You’re with them all the time. I’m sure you’ve overheard some conversations or even caught a glimpse of what’s on their phones.”

She’s fishing. If it’s for something specific, you’re not sure. You try not to follow scandals too closely. Most of them don’t concern you and are ridiculous. You do know it’s been generally quiet. Not many dating rumors or other false claims have made their rounds on the internet for a while. Anything else would be real news and would require Yoona and the other “reporters” in her division to do actual work before publishing. And you refuse to make their simple jobs easier for them.

“Ah, I…I’m having trouble understanding. Sorry, my Korean is not good…” You do your best to butcher the pronunciation and speak broken Korean, which is harder now after years of speaking it primarily.

Yoona’s eyes narrow as she sits up straighter. “That’s not cute, Y/n.”

“Pardon?” You tilt your head to the other side.

Yoona’s mouth opens and closes before she lets out a little annoyed huff of air. “You’ve been here for half a decade and you write full articles in Korean. Don’t try to act like you don’t know what I’m asking.”

“This is a bit embarrassing but…I use Google Translate to write my articles. I write in English and translate. Please don’t say anything.”

Yoona crosses her arms across her chest, her eyes scan every part of your face. You close your bag and sit back in your chair, trying to not give her the satisfaction that she so desperately craves. Suddenly, the corners of her mouth turn up into a smile that would make the Cheshire cat envious. Her eyes light up, almost like a light bulb went off in her head.

“You do know something, don’t you?”

Oh lovely, she’s delusional.

You look around the office, most of the office is empty with nearly everyone gone for lunch. Still, there are a few people who are working through lunch. Luckily for you, you moved into the main offices right before you left for the first leg of the tour so not many people know you that well. Unluckily for your desk mate, he happens to be working through lunch.

"Um...excuse me? I'm having trouble understanding what she's saying. Can you help?" You bother your desk mate. He looks up from his laptop, completely confused and partially startled by the sudden interaction. You're not sure what he was so focused on but part of you feels bad.

"Uh--"

"Forget it," Yoona waves him off, no longer wanting to participate in your little charade. "Y/n, I know you're hiding something. There's no way you don't know anything. Stop faking,"

"But eonni--"

Buzz, buzz

Your eyes glance over to your phone sitting face up right next to your keyboard. You don't miss the fact that Yoona's eyes also land on your phone. Part of you freezes when you see the word "Eonni" light up on your screen. You quickly snatch your phone and send the call to voicemail as the list of things your sister needs now floods your brain.

"You have your sister in your phone as "eonni?" How curious..." Yoona suggests. You can see the gears turning right through her pupils, working out her next story.

"Whatever convoluted story you're coming up with, scrap it right now." You say firmly.

Buzz, buzz

You let out a swear under your breath as you send your sister to voicemail again, really not wanting to deal with whatever family drama is currently going on.

What time is it over there anyway? Early morning? Late night? Afternoon?

"I'm not doing anything. Is there a story there?" She feigns innocence by tilting her head and speaking in a low, condescending tone.

"I'm serious," You stand up and gather all of your things, yanking the file from under Yoona.

Buzz, buzz

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Yoona smirks. She hops off your desk and starts walking towards the door. "Don't worry, I'll leave you to talk to your "eonni.""

"It's not like..." Your voice dies in your throat as she continues to walk out.

You let out a long, exhausted sigh like a balloon deflating. Your attention is brought back to your phone as it continues to ring in your hand. Pressure builds behind your eyes as you think about what could be so urgent right now. You say a silent prayer to-- whoever will answer at this point--and answer the phone.

"What could you possibly need right now?" Mindful of all of your coworkers still in the office, you try your best not to scream. Still, your tone is harsher than you intended.

"Wow, you send the girl to the other side of the world and she thinks she's so important. She doesn't even answer the phone anymore and yet when she does, she has the audacity to be bitchy. I'm so sorry Your Highness," Your sister scoffs on the other end.

You bite the inside of your cheek, not hard enough to draw blood but enough to stop yourself from saying something that will start an argument. It's the last thing you need today. On top of making sure you have everything you need from work, you've been pulling all-nighters the past couple of weeks you've been home trying to fix what your team failed to understand from your emails and Zoom meetings. You're already dreading how much more work you're going to have to deal with when you get back from this leg of the tour now that there's going to be a large time difference between you and them.

"I'm sorry, I'm at work right now." Balancing your phone between your ear and your shoulder, you do your best to secure your things in your arms as you head over to the elevator.

You press the down button with your foot, miraculously without dropping anything or toppling over, and wait for the elevator to reach your floor.

"Yeah, yeah, I know all about your fancy job all the way in Korea. Jesus, you don't have to brag."

Ding!

You walk into the elevator and press the button for the floor below you where all of the interns and lower-level reporters in your department work. Most of them are probably all out right now so you'll just leave the box of your notes on your old advisor's desk and send her a text.

"I'm about to leave for a meeting. What did you need?" You lie.

"It's about mom,"

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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[nishisun]

2. How you met him & how he broke your heart.

A/N: THIS WHOLE CHAPTER IS A FLASHBACK! OKAY OKAY SO, YES, THIS IS AN SMAU, BUT ITS GONNA HAVE MORE WRITTEN PARTS 😁

NOTE (2024): this was made over 4+ years ago when i was a beginner writer so the writing is pretty much horrible. but im feel nostalgic and this has been sitting for the drafts for years that i thought, why not post? anways pls enjoy my very mediocre attempt at writing. there’s multiple parts so ill post until there are none anymore

flashback.

On December 21, your parents told you that they were separating. Your father claimed he fell out of love with your mother and already had a family in the US. You were devastated, to say the least. But mostly, you were confused. How could he? How could he do this to you, your sister, and your mother? They seemed so happy together. They never argued, well, not in front of you and your sister at least. They were the perfect couple. You looked up to them. You wanted to have what they had with your future significant other, and now your parents were telling you that they are separating because your father fell out of love?

pitiful.

Your father said he was leaving to go to the states in 6 months. Out of anger, your mother decided it was best to move, without leaving a trace of your father. She called this a clean slate. Moving meant you had to transfer schools. You were a third year, who was now going to be attending Itachiyama Institute, while your younger sister who was still in junior high was attending Okojo Middle School. Still, you couldn’t believe it. Your own father, the person you looked up to the most, was abandoning you, your mother, and your sister. Why weren’t you guys good enough for him? How come it’s so easy for him to leave? It just wasn’t fair.

What is love? Well, there are many ways to interpret the word “love”. When we love someone we experience positive thoughts and experiences with them bur we also experience a deep sense of care and commitment towards that person. Love means to be deeply committed and connected to someone or something. The feeling of love should be mutual with you and your significant other.

You loved Sakusa Kiyoomi. He was your first love.

You remembered the day you met. It was your first day at Itachiyama Institute  and your previous school was Nekoma High. You were the manager for Nekoma’s volleyball team, which meant that you’d go with them to practice camps, games, and you’d stay after school hours to help out, which was why you were so close to Kenma and Kuroo. You met Kenma and Kuroo when you were a first year, you and Kenma were in the same class and you volunteered to be a manager for the volleyball team, which resulted to you becoming bestfriends with Kenma and Kuroo. You both were now finally third years, Kenma was captain of the team after Kuroo left and Kuroo couldn’t have been more proud. At first, Kenma didn’t want to be the captain because he claimed it was “too much work”, but once you and the other team members forced convinced him to try it out, he ended up loving it.

Your first day at Itachiyama was okay, you didn’t talk much, or really make new friends. It was the same old, you’d introduce yourself in front of the class, then they’d greet you and ask you questions on how your previous school was or why you moved. At lunch, you sat outside, alone, until you saw two boys walk in front of you. One was wearing a mask and the other was smiling and waved at you.

“Hello! My name is Komori Motoya and this is my cousin. We have class together, right?” he said as he brought his right arm out, offering to shake yours.

“Oh, um yes, we do! Hi Komori, my name is L/N Y/N.” you said, shaking his hand. Once you both let go you looked at Komori’s cousin who was standing next to him, but was slightly behind him.

“You must be Sakusa Kiyoomi, right?” you said walking towards him. He didn’t say anything, he just nodded while his hands were placed in his pockets.

“Uh, how did you know that?” Komori asked as he chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

“Well, I know your name too. I’ve seen you and your team play! You guys are really good.” you explained, Komori shook his head in excitement.

“Oh, really? Are you into volleyball? Do you play?” He asked.

“Well, I’m not really good at it. I used to play in junior high, but I stopped once I got into high school. I love watching the games though! I was the team manager at my previous school.”

“Really? That’s amazing! Our team is looking for a team manager! You should really apply, i’m pretty sure the coach would be happy.” Komori said.

“Oh! Well, that’s great! I’ll check definitely come visit tomorrow after school.” You said as you started to pack your things because lunch was ending soon.

“That’s great y/n!” he said, “Well, we’ll see you around in class.”

“Yeah, bye!” You waved at the two and they waved back.

“Everyone, gather around! Meet the new addition to the managers for the team! The coach said.

“My name is L/N Y/N! I’m new here and I just transferred from Nekoma High!” you said, bowing your head. Some of the teammates were whispering once they heard you mention Nekoma. “I’m hoping to get to know you all better! I’ve seen you guys play before and it’s an honor to be working with you all! you said.

“she talks a lot.” Sakusa thinks, having a bored look on his face and makes a mental note of this.

“Trust me y/n, the pleasure is ours!” the coach chuckles.

You suddenly realize how the gym is full of boys who are basically towering over you and awkwardly laugh back, followed by an awkward silence. You then remembered about the homemade granola you had made for the team, which you had been carrying this whole time.

“Oh! I almost forgot! I made some homemade granola bars to show my gratitude towards you all.” You started to pass the bars out to each team member as they thanked you and praised you for how good the bars tasted. You were making your way to give a bar to the last person who hasn’t received it yet, which was Sakusa Kiyoomi.

He was taller than his other teammates, wearing a mask and it almost seemed as if he was giving you a look of disgust, judging by the way his face was scrunched up. He looked intimidating, but you didn’t want to judge someone off of their looks, so you walked up to him and tried to start a conversation with him.

“Hello, Sakusa! I just wanted to thank you and Komori for coming up to me yesterday. It meant a lot considering the fact that I was new and i’m not very good at making friends-“

“You talk a lot.” Sakusa interrupted, his cousin heard him since he wasn’t that far away from you both and quickly walked up to him.

“Sakusa! It wouldn’t hurt you to be nice and not so upfront all the time!” his cousin said.

“I’m kidding!” sakusa says to his cousin, shaking his head and chuckles, then turns back to you.

“I’m kidding,” He repeats once again, “Sorry that I wasn’t really talking yesterday. I’m not good with people either.” He says and you both laugh. “I’m pretty sure you’re the person i’m supposed to be showing the school around to tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah. You don’t really have to if it’s going to-“

“You really do tend to ramble a lot.” he interrupts once again. He won’t tell you, but he finds it cute how flustered you get, you seem so innocent.

“Sorry, it’s a bad habit of mine.” you scratched the back of your head and laughed a bit.

“All right everyone, Time to pack up!” the coach said, getting up from the bench.

“See you tomorrow?” Sakusa says.

“Yep!”

“Bye Y/N!” Komori says as he waved at you. You waved back and started to pack things up and went home.

1 and a half years later.

“Omi, have you seen my shampoo? I left it here at your place and I checked the bathroom and it wasn’t there anymore.” you said as you walked out of his bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel.

“No babe,” Sakusa says, “Just use mine. It isn’t that big of a deal. We can buy you your shampoo once you finish taking a shower if it’s bothering you this much.”

“It’s fine. I was just checking to see if you saw it, it isn’t that big of a deal.” you assured him with a smile.

“Maybe I should join you in the shower?” Sakusa suggested, “saves more water.”

“You’re too much.” you laughed, “let’s go shower!”

You and Sakusa finally graduated high school and decided to take a year break before attending college to spend time together since Sakusa wasn’t planning on going to college. You guys didn’t live together, He had an apartment of his own that was near your house and you’d stay there most of the time. Which meant, more sex.

Of course, it took sakusa some time to be comfortable to have sex with you, but he trusted you a lot. he knew you were clean and you took proper care of yourself

not staying abstinent from sex is something you regret, but are happy that you forgot to take the pill that one day. If you had, you still would’ve been with Sakusa. But since you didn’t, you ended up pregnant and gave birth to the person that makes you the happiest, your daughter.

You remember taking the pregnancy test, your heart dropped.

“fuck. i’m fucked.” you muttered.

Your hands were shaking as you held the pregnancy test, which said “positive” and your fingers were slowly becoming more cold by each passing seconds and your anxiety was getting the best of you.

what is sakusa gonna say? he already said he didn’t want kids. what was your mother going to say? Oh, your mother was going to kill you. Sakusa isn’t gonna like this at all. Maybe he will? Maybe he’ll tell you everything is okay and that he’ll be with you every step of the way. Should you tell Komori to tell him? No. Sakusa won’t believe him and it’ll result in him asking you anyways. Kenma! text Kenma. Then text Akira. They’ll know what to do. Wait! you need to make sure you’re 100% pregnant. This is only one test. there’s no way you’re pregnant.

So you took 2 more test. All of them were positive.

“shitt.” you took a deep breath in and closed your eyes. Tears were threatening to spill and the once appetite you once had was now gone. You were in Sakusa’s apartment bathroom, he had gone to go pick up the food you had ordered for the movie night you and him were planning to have.

You quickly got out of the bathroom and made your way to your phone to call Kenma and tell him. By now you were sobbing.

“Y/n, are you 100% sure you’re pregnant?” he said in a firm voice. He too was trying not to panic.

“Y-yes! I’ve taken like th- three test now!” you said, you were breaking down and it was hard for you to even speak clearly. “Kiyoomi i-is not going to be happy at all. I only missed one day of not t-taking the pill.”

“Y/n, i’m going to need you to breathe for me. You may not believe me now, but everything will be okay. You have to tell him. He will still love you. Isn’t it his baby?” he asked, this annoyed you. Why did he even ask that? obviously it was his. Kenma didn’t mean any harm when he asked you, but you took it to offense.

“O-obviously kozume. Why would you even ask that?” you were pacing around in the living room, trying to calm yourself down. “Kenma he’s here. He just texted me he’s outside and he’s-he’s coming. I’m scared, i don’t know how to handle this.”

“Y/n, please breathe. Everything is going to be okay please calm down, okay? You got this. If you want me to come over I can. Do you still want me to stay on the line?” he asked.

“N-no, I’m fine. Thank you Kenma. I’m gonna hang up now.”

“You’re welcome y/n. I love you.” he said, a smile resting on his face.

“love you too.”

you quickly went back to the bathroom to throw the pregnancy test away and hid it further in the trash so Sakusa wouldn’t find it. You quickly washed your face, so it would look like you weren’t crying and if he asked you why your eyes were so red you’d just say soap got in your eyes. Right when you finished washing your face, Sakusa entered the place, immediately heading to the kitchen sink to wash his hands.

“Hey,” he said grabbing the soap next to him and rubbing it with his hands.

“Hey.” you said softly, placing one hand on your opposite arm and walking towards him to embrace him.

“Happy anniversary, I love you so much.” He said, hugging you and burying his head in the crook of your neck. 

“I love you more, Kiyoomi.” you said. He pulled away and stared at your face in mischief and then squinted. 

“You don’t usually call me Kiyoomi unless you’re upset or worried about something. What’s up?”

Shit.

It was a bad habit of yours. When something was bothering you, or when you were upset, you’d usually call Sakusa, Kiyoomi. Usually you’d call him by his nickname, which was Omi.

“It’s nothing, Omi. I’m hungry! Let’s eat!” you say as you tried to hug him again, but he doesn’t budge.

“y/n, come on, i know you.” he says softly, as you both stood in the kitchen. He stares at you for a little longer, tucking the strands of your hair behind your ear, easing your tenseness so you could feel comfortable enough to talk to him and then cupped your cheek. “Talk to me- wait, have you been crying?”

Ugh.

you’re crying again. you’re crying really hard. Sakusa starts to panic at the random burst of tears that are falling at a rapid pace and pulls you in for a tight hug, not caring that you haven’t washed your hands yet.

“hey, hey, y/n shh, it’s okay.” Sakusa says, stroking your hair softly. “baby, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong, please.”

You sob on his chest, he slightly cringes at the thought of your tears wetting his shirt, but he doesnt mention it.

“N-no, I cant. You’ll hate me.” you say, burying your face in his chest. Sakusa lets out a sigh of confusion and continues to stoke your hair.

“I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you could do that would make me hate you y/n. I love you, dummy.” he chuckled, you laughed as well and let go of him and wiped your tears. You took a deep breath and then let a out a forced laugh and then faced Sakusa.

“Okay,” You said letting out a sigh, “I’m,”

“you’re?”

“Never mind, I cant do this.” you walked away from him and ran to the bathroom and locked yourself there and started breaking down. Sakusa was quick to follow you, but you locked the door. You were confusing the hell out of him. He thought you were trying to break up with him.

You couldn’t tell him. Not when he had already told you he didn’t want kids. Did you even want kids? Aborting the baby was not an option. Knowing the type of person you are, you’d probably feel too guilty and you didn’t need that guilt following you for the rest of your life.

“Y/n, I understand you may need space right now. Whenever you’re ready please talk to me, I love you.”

Why was he so good to you?

About 30 minutes later, you finally come out from the bathroom and you see Sakusa scrolling through his phone. The food he had ordered was still on the table, probably cold by now.

“Hey,” you said walking up to him and sitting next to him on the couch.

“Hey,” he smiled, “you ready to talk to me now?”

“uh, yeah.” you took a deep breath, and Sakusa patiently waited for you to speak up.

“So, you know how I’m on birth control?” you asked, he cocked his head and furrowed his brows, wondering what birth control had to do with what was bothering you.

“yes..”

“Oh, okay.” you said, you took another deep breath in, then out, then you closed your eyes because you felt tears rushing down again.

“Y/n,” sakusa says softly, You rest your head on his chest once again, and he continues to softly rub your back. “Y/n, you’re scaring me. Are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” you say as you lift your head up to face him. You cup his cheek gently and give him a soft smile. “no, i’m not baby.” You put your hand down and faced forward, while sakusa was staring at you from your side. Sakusa gives a sigh of relief.

“I’m pregnant.” you blurted out.

“what?” he heard you, he just didn’t know if he heard it right.

“Kiyoomi, i’m pregnant. it’s yours.” you’re facing him now, but he looks away. He lets go of the hand that was once holding yours and faces forward.

“Omi, please say something.” you say, you started to get worried and you felt a weird sensation in your stomach as if you were about to throw up.

“Are you sure y/n? Is this some type of prank because if it is-“

“no, it’s not a prank. i’ve taken three test and they were all positive, kiyoomi. i’m pregnant.”

“holy shit.” is all he mutters, he places both of his hands together and they land on his face and the face he was currently making was unreadable. You couldn’t tell if he was mad or upset, but he certainly didn’t seem happy one bit.

“is that seriously all you’re gonna say?” you scoff, he doesn’t look at you, he’s still facing forward.

“take another test,”

“what?”

“take another test,” he repeats, now getting up from the couch and pacing up and down the living room. “you need to take another test.”

“i already told you, i took three and they were all positive-“

“just take another test y/n, damn it!” your eyes widen at his sudden burst of anger, he’s staring at you, boring his eyes onto you and then he quickly looks away and takes a steady breath in. “i need to see this for myself, just take another test, okay?”

you scoff.

you wipe of the tears on your face and you walk to the bathroom rather quickly, sakusa following not far along.

you open another one of the test that you haven’t used yet without saying a word to sakusa, he’s leaning on the bathroom door with the same bored expression he usually has on his face.

once you’ve finished, you wait a few minutes for the test to see it’s results.

positive.

“are you satisfied? or do i need to take another test?” you mutter, sakusa looks at the test that is now placed on this sink, crossing his arms.

“we can’t keep this baby-“

“what? what are you talking about?” you interrupt him. Is he being serious? He doesn’t have a say on what whether you keep the baby or not.

“y/n, think about it!” he explains, walking closer to you, “we’re 18, and i have a career that i’m working hard on and you have college-“

“are you being serious right now, kiyoomi?” you raise your voice and back away from him with a hurt expression on your face.

“Y/n, it wouldn’t be smart to keep this baby. We can’t be parents right now. I’m not ready to be a dad yet,” he’s not raising his voice because he’s trying his hardest to avoid an argument. “I cant- i can’t do this.”

“w-what?” you feel tears forming again. What can’t he do? What is he trying to say? “Kiyoomi, look, I know this is a lot. Trust me it’s a lot for me too! But i’m keeping this baby. It’s our responsibility since we weren’t responsible enough.”

He scoffs at this and shakes his head “we? we weren’t responsible? last time i checked, you were the one who didn’t do your part. all you had to do was take one damn pill. is it seriously that hard?”

He can’t seriously be blaming you right now.

“I’m sorry y/n, but i seriously can’t be a dad. We already said that we’re not having kids. They’re messy, annoying and not to mention, they cause too much stress. You have to abort the baby-“

“I don’t have to do shit,” you interrupt once again, you were crying, you were so upset. This was so unlike kiyoomi. you felt nauseous, and it wasn’t the baby. “And i never said i didn’t want kids, we never even agreed on that, you just said you didn’t want them. What happened to you? Yeah, we’re young, but i’m willing to make that sacrifice. All you’re worried about is your stupid volleyball career. I told you i’m keeping this baby and if you aren’t okay with that, then maybe we should break up!” You were yelling, too caught up in the moment to realize what you had just said, it was a lot for Sakusa to process. It’s only normal that he’d be suprised but it doesn’t mean he had to put all the blame on you. You were already aware it was partly your fault, and now you were willing to own up for your mistakes. Why wasn’t he? He looked at you in shock, then walked back and forth and you kept your eyes on him wondering what he would say next.

“you think so?”

“There’s no point in being together if you don’t want to be in this baby’s life, Kiyoomi. You know this.”

“So what, you’re just gonna let go of what we have that easily?” he asked, everything he was saying was getting on your fucking nerves.

“You think it’s easy, Kiyoomi?” you let out a humorless laugh, “You think it’s easy for me to let you go? You are literally my the love of my fucking life. The first person who made me have butterflies in my stomach when all you’d do is just stare at me. Now that a baby is on the way things are obviously going to be changing and i need to put this baby first before everything and you’re obviously not willing to do that and It hurts- it fucking hurts that you didn’t even assure me that everything was going to be alright. That you’d still love me and be right by my side even though Ive decided that i am keeping the baby. I had to call kenma right before you came and even he said you’d assure me, but you didn’t. I’m not even upset at you for being suprised, but there are better ways to react Kiyoomi, especially in situations like this. You saying you’re not ready to be a dad is okay, but the fact that you aren’t willing to make the sacrifice hurts. So don’t say it’s easy for me when you’re the one that’s letting go.”

By the time you finished speaking, you were choking on your own sobs and you could barely even speak clearly. Sakusa looked like he was on the verge of tears, but he probably didn’t want to cry in front of you. He didn’t say anything either or make eye contact with you either. He just headed to the kitchen and started cleaning out any leftovers that were too old in the fridge. You aren’t even suprised. You see, Sakusa doesn’t like opening up to people. The thought of being so vulnerable and opening up like what you had just did scared Kiyoomi. He wanted to be the one that would cheer you up when something was bothering you but when it came to him, he’d keep his emotions or how he was feeling to himself. It was a bad habit of his but you still loved him and understood that it would take some time. Yes, it does hurt that he didn’t say anything after you literally opened up, but maybe this was how it was supposed to end.

You looked at him with such disbelief. You scoffed and then wore your jacket and shoes and left.

He didn’t chase after you, it’s not like you would listen anyways. All he did was say that he wasn’t ready to be a parent and how you should abort the baby. Did he think you were ready? Because you weren’t. But you were willing to make a sacrifice for this baby of yours. There’s no point in forcing him to become a father if that’s clearly not what he wants. That’s fine though, you know you’d have other people support you, even if it meant that Sakusa wouldn’t be supporting you anymore.

“Goodbye, Kiyoomi.”

[newtthetranswriter]

Surprise Flights - Toru Oikawa

Word Count: 2128

Paring: Toru Oikawa x Fem! Reader

Summary: Toru really just wants to make Christmas special for Y/n, luckily for him he gets the chance to give her the best present of all.

A/n: Hello everyone, this idea came to me while working on a different fic that will be out closer to Christmas. Anyways I thought it was a cute idea, and it definitely turned out better than i thought it would. Also I just want to say that I’m sorry for the random long break in posting, writer’s block kicked my ass, plus I just got a job after almost a year of searching and so I might not be posting as much but I will try to write something every now and then. Anyways enjoy, Happy holidays, and as always remember to hydrate or diedrate.

a/n 2: This is really my first time doing any kind of smau style stuff for a fic so please let me know what you think. I'd be willing to try out doing an smau series in between normal imagines to help keep the ideas flowing just let me know if that's something y'all would want.

   It had been almost a year since Toru left Japan to pursue his dream of being a pro Volleyball player. It had been almost a year since he wiped the tears off her face as he promised to call and visit as often as humanly possible. Toru was able to keep the promise of phone calls and text messages but his schedule didn’t allow for much off time.

  He had only been able to see her in person once since leaving for Argentina. For his birthday Y/n and Iwaizumi had managed to fly out to visit him. His two favorite people managed to surprise him by staying with him for a week, but he still had practice so it’s not like he could truly enjoy it. After they had returned to Japan, Toru had promised himself that he would be the one surprising her next.

   So when he found out in early November that the team would be getting the last two weeks of the year off, he began planning. Immediately he had told Iwa and made him swear not to let it slip that he would be coming home. Toru had it all planned out, he was going to make this the best Christmas she had ever had.

   The days leading up to his flight Toru had to fight the overwhelming urge to just come clean and tell Y/n he would be there soon. The only thing preventing him from spilling the beans was the thought of how happy she would look when they finally got to hold each other again. The image of her smiling and the sound of her laugh as they embraced for the first time in so long pushed him forward, promising that it was worth it to keep it a secret.

   On the morning of his flight, Toru made sure that he had everything ready. He double checked that he had his passport and ticket easy to grab as well as his charger and headphones. Looking over his entryway where he had his suitcase and carry-on placed and ready, he smiled to himself knowing that in less than two days he’d be holding his amazing girlfriend in his arms. Checking the time, he quickly ordered an uber before opening his messages.

  After sending his usual goodnight message to Y/n, knowing that Japan is 12 hours ahead, Toru looked over his apartment one last time before heading out to wait for his ride.

  By the time he reached the parking lot his uber was already waiting. Getting into the car he said a quick thank you to the driver, before turning his attention back to his phone as a new message came through.

   Toru smiled to himself as he read his friend's last message. As Toru sat quietly watching the scenery pass by, he kept thinking over his plan. Sure he had set his lock screen to a list of times he needed to text Y/n so she wouldn’t get suspicious, but he was anxious that she would notice something was up. 

   “Going home for the holidays?” The driver asked, breaking the silence that settled over the car. “Sorry, I know not a lot of people like to talk during these rides, I just can’t help but be curious. Of Course you don’t have to share if you don’t want to.” He added on, sending the brunette a kind smile through the rear view mirror.

   Smiling Toru nodded, happy to have a distraction from his thoughts. “Yeah I am. I haven’t seen my girlfriend in about five months and I have seen my family in about a year so It will be nice to see them all again.” He briefly explained.

   The driver nodded. “Well they all must be excited to see you, if it’s been that long.” He said while keeping focused on his driving. “I know I’d be thrilled to see family if it had been a year since I last saw them.”

   “Actually they don’t know I’m coming.” Toru said with a laugh. “Well, my best friend knows, he’s helping me with the surprise. But I wanted it to be a fun Christmas present for everyone.” He explained after seeing the driver's confused expression.

   Laughing joyously, the driver nodded. “Sounds like an amazing gift. Well here we are. Have a safe flight and Happy Holidays to you.” The driver said pulling up at the passenger drop off door of the airport.

  Grabbing his stuff Toru nodded. “Thank you, Happy Holidays to you as well.” He said, closing the car door and turning to the airport.

   After making it through customs surprisingly quickly for the holiday season, Toru pulled out his phone while finding a seat near his gate. Seeing that it was about two hours until his flight was set to depart he decided it was a good time to start his plan.

   Pressing send on the final message he did his best to calm his nerves once again. He felt slightly bad for lying to Y/n, but he knew that if he didn’t and just never responded to her messages she would worry. Sighing he pulled out his headphones, listening to music in order to block out the sounds of the airport while he waited for his flight.

Time skip to landing in Italy

   After landing in Rome for his roughly eight hour layover, Toru decided to check his phone for any messages.

   He fought the urge to respond right away, but reminded himself that Y/n thinks he’s still in Argentina where it’s currently three in the morning, so a text message from him would be suspicious. Sighing to himself, Toru decided to stay in the airport while waiting for the second half of his flight. Grabbing an overpriced coffee and breakfast from the airport Starbucks, He made himself comfortable close to the gate of his next flight.

   About five hours into the layover, Toru decided it was a good time to finally respond to Y/n’s early texts. After all, nearly twenty hours of ‘sleeping’ was a lot even if he was ‘sick’.

 

 Toru smiled at Y/n’s worrying, happy that she was believing him and she hadn’t caught on to his schemes.

   The two continued to text back and forth for the next couple of hours. As they chatted about their days, Toru fibbing just well enough that Y/n didn’t catch on, Toru noticed that it was getting close to his departure time. He was enjoying talking with his girlfriend but he needed to come up with a way to end the conversation so it wouldn’t be suspicious if he just stopped responding. Luckily Y/n beat him to it.

   Not even ten minutes after hitting send on his final message, Toru was on his flight. Overjoyed to know that the next time he texted Y/n, he would be in the same country and one step closer to being reunited.

Time Skip to landing in Japan

   Stepping off his flight, Toru was surprised he didn’t feel extremely jet lagged after only sleeping for a handful of hours over the last thirty hours. He guessed it had to do with the fact that he was extremely excited about the events that would be happening over the next couple hours. Mainly the thought of holding Y/n in his arms once again.

   While making his way to the baggage claim, Toru decided to text Y/n again. It was even more difficult this time around to not tell her he was back in Japan, but he remembered that she was probably at work right now so he couldn’t distract her too much. So he settled on keeping the surprise.

    He frowned slightly hoping her day wasn’t going to bad, and put his phone back in his pocket. Turning his focus to looking for his suitcase as he tried not to worry too much. As he spotted his bag on the conveyor belt, Toru felt his phone go off again. Pulling out his phone again, he laughed at Iwa’s usual name calling before responding quickly.

    As he texted his best friend he made his way to the passenger pick up, looking for Iwa’s spiky brown hair. Quickly spotting the former spiker’s pointed glare, Toru couldn’t help but walk a little faster. “Iwa, I’m so glad to see you. Thanks again for agreeing to pick me up.” He said in greeting, opening his arms to ask the stoic male for a hug.

   Letting out a fake groan, Iwa embraced his childhood friend before pulling away. “Don’t mention it. Now didn’t you want to stop at the store before going over to Y/n’s?” He asked, no longer hiding the slight smile on his face from being reunited with Toru.

Time skip to Y/n’s apartment

   After buying a few things at the store, Iwa helped Toru get all of his things up to Y/n’s apartment, telling him that Y/n had left a spare key out for him when he made up an excuse about needing to drop something off there. Once the two friends had gotten Toru’s suitcase and bags from the store into the apartment, Iwa gave his friend one last hug before leaving.

  Now alone in his girlfriend's apartment, Toru couldn’t help but be nervous about waiting for her to finally return home and see the amazing surprise he had for her. He knew she would be happy, of course she would be, after all she was so sad when he said he couldn’t make it back for Christmas. He just had to wait another hour or so before she would get there.

Time skip to Y/n getting home & P.o.v switch

   While it had technically been a short day at work for her, Y/n couldn’t help but feel that the day had drug on. When she finally arrived at her apartment all she wanted to do was lay down and wait for Toru to wake up so she could call him during his morning run, like they did most days. Getting to her front door though she was shocked to find out that the spare key she had left out for Iwaizumi was no longer under the mat and the front door was still unlocked. Opening the door and seeing a pair of men’s shoes in the entry way she assumed Iwa had just gotten there so she just shrugged as she took off her shoes and headed for the living room.

  “Hey Iwa, what was it you needed to drop off …” Her sentence trailed off as she noticed the brunette standing in her living room, who was very clearly not Iwaizumi. “Toru? Am I dreaming?” She asked, pinching her arm, not fully believing that Toru Oikawa was really standing in her apartment holding a bouquet of flowers with a sheepish smile on his face.

   Toru chuckled as he slowly stepped closer to her. “You’re not dreaming I promise.” He said, handing her the flowers.

   Instead of taking the flowers to put them in water she just set them on the coffee table before nearly tackling Toru in an extremely tight hug. Toru quickly returned the hug, resting his head on top of her as she pressed her face into his neck. After a few minutes of silence, She pulled back cupping his face in her hands. 

   “You’re really here.” She stated as if reassuring herself that this was real. “I thought you weren’t able to get time off to come home? And what about you being sick?” She began questioning.

   Chuckling, Toru leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I wanted to surprise you, after you and Iwa surprised me for my birthday. As for being sick, I needed a believable reason to not text you for hours while I was on the plane.” He quickly explained.

   She nodded in understanding. “Well consider me surprised.” She said, before taking a moment to just enjoy being in the same space as him again. 

   “Wait, does this mean you told Iwaizumi about you coming home?” She asked, receiving only a nod. “No wonder he wanted me to leave out my spare key. I couldn’t figure out what he could possibly have wanted to leave here.” Y/n finished laughing slightly.

   After a few moments of just standing in the center of the room, the two moved to sit on the couch deciding to just cuddle as they talked. The conversation eventually faded and the two sat in a comfortable silence. “I’m so glad you’re home.” Y/n said as slowly drifted off to sleep laying on Toru’s chest.

  “I’m glad to be home.” Toru responded, quickly following Y/n into the realm of dreams.

(dividers by @/cafekitsune)

[shadowyinfluencercloud]

Writing Through Life

SMAU

Jonathan Bailey x writer!male reader

SUMMARY: In which, Jonathan fully commits to being in a relationship someone who makes stuff up for a living.

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‼️All the pics are not mine ( thank God for Pinterest).

❗ English is NOT my first language so be kind.

❗Every interaction is (sadly) purely fictional.

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iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓

♥ 1.005.437 🗨️104.513

👤: fred.hechinger, pedropascalispunk, josephquinn

iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants A little throwback to my week spent on the set of 'Gladiator 2' . It was my first experience as a screenwriter on a project of such dimension and given the positive feedback I think I lived up to the expectations Ridley Scott set me when he proposed to me this idea.

The first two pictures are the reason why you shouldn't let your phone unsupervised at the same table with Pedro Pascal and Paul Mescal (Joseph and Fred are innocent in this instance), while the last picture represents Pedro's reaction when I told him he doesn't look "bonita" when he twirled in his gladiator costume.

comments

user1: we all say "thank you Y/N" in unison. the first picture does something to me ngl

user2: just saw the movie and my flabbers were gasted

josephquinn ✓: it's a shame you don't like such nice pictures...

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓: it's a shame that I hadn't written a (more) brutal death for Geta

→ josephquinn ✓: for someone who's dating a british man, you seem quite hateful of the british people

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓: The only brit piece I allow in my life is Jonathan

→ jbayleaf ✓: 🥰🥰🥰

luxpascal_ ✓: 💋

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓: 💋💋

pascalispunk ✓: I don't need your confirmation to know I rocked my twirls

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iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓

♥ 139.790 🗨️15.687

iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants Happy New Year, everyone!! In 2025 I'm planning to:

1. Finally put together the second book in the "Lawmakers" Trilogy whose name I'm going to keep to myself until further notice.

2. To finally finish my PhD thesis, even if its presentation is scheduled in 2026, on Jonny's birthday out of all days.

3. To make the last touches to my newest novel "You made me feel important when you bit me" , which will come out on the 22nd of August.

comments

user3: OMG!! we're in the same boat. i'm writing my thesis too

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓: What's the topic??

→ user3: something about economic law

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓: Good luck. I had my first masters in that. I hated every minute of it

→ user3: noooo 😭

user4: what's your topic?

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓: The Evolution of Legal Thought in Ancient Rome: A Study of Law and Society Through Cicero’s Works

→ user5: sounds nice ☺️

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓: Trust me, it doesn't.

kuangrf ✓: Have you read Katabasis yet?

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓: I didn't, but Jonathan did.

→ jbayleaf ✓: It was amazing.

→ kuangrf ✓: Thank you, Jonathan. At least one of the Bailey-L/N men read it.

→ user4: Why are they arguing?

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓: We're not. It's just the way our friendship works.

→ kuangrf : Are we friends? 😅

→ iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants: Girl, I know where you live. (💚 you)

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iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants ✓

♥ 154.321 🗨️5.686

👤: yourbff, misskathleenglasgow

iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants I've been asked in my DMs (Yes, I read them) how I manage to jump from project to project without getting tired and/or burnt out. The truth is that I don't jump from project to project. I take a three month break after every demanding task I finish. In those three months I either read something lighter than what I usually read. I was recommended Girl in Pieces by Kathleen Glasgow by Y/BFF who told me I'd like it, but I was a little hesitant, especially because she reads romance and fantasy, which aren't my go-to genres.

If I get bored of reading books 16 year old Y/N would have read (non-derogatory) Y/BFF kindly and consensually drags me to her workshop and let's me watch her doing her magic, until I have to actually paint.

And if I don't feel like painting, I usually go on walks around London. No matter how strong my dislike of british culture is, I won't deny that London streets are very pretty.

I won't allow commenting on this post (besides Jonathan's) because I don't want to turn it into a warzone of (unrequested) opinions and recommendations.

comments

jbayleaf ✓: ❤️❤️❤️

liked by iwriteonnapkinsat_restaurants

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jbayleaf ✓ posted to stories

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The End

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[lenaboskow]

last day of vacation; make me write!

writer's block cured, no idea how i did that, but to celebrate and distract myself from the fact that i have to go back to work tomorrow, i'm doing another emoji game. any asks i don't get to today, i'll be doing on tuesday/wednesday when i'm off again, so send away! this time i've included all of my wips (minus the presumed dead fic because i just updated that), and there are... a lot (and these are just the ones that i've actually written in)

🔥-- roommates fic (burn the loft)

🍎-- buddie (more like buck) vs the pta (prompt by @divine-victory )

⛪️-- marriage of convience fic (they get married to let buck adopt chris... no they aren't together)

❤️-- the babe fic (buck keeps calling eddie babe... he's fine)

🔎-- 5+1 times eddie can't look at buck, and one time he can't stop

💭-- soulmate au where there's multiple different kinds of bonds, the rarest being telepathy. some soulmates have multiple bonds, like buck and eddie (telepathy and... something else :) ). people have two soul mates, one platonic, and one romantic. eddie thought shannon was his romantic, so he assumes buck is his platonic. buck hasn't met either soulmate, so he agrees with eddie. obviously they're wrong

📓-- long story short fic (buck realizes he missplaced some feelings during the events of 7x04)

⭐-- celeb au (a hybrid smau/written prose fic where buddie were childhood stars that had a... falling out after production wrapped. eddie (who initiated the falling out) reaches back out after four years and buck isn't receptive, at first)

[causenessus]

fic authors self rec! ♡ when you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. let’s spread the self-love ♡

I WAS GONNA SAVE THIS TOMORROW BUT I KEEP SEEING OTHERS AND IT'S REALLY REALLY MOTIVATING ME <33 (although i don't think i have five other moots to send this to bc idk who else has done it or had it sent to them...)

HAVE I EVEN WRITTEN FIVE THINGS?? I DEF DO NOT POST A LOT OF ONESHOTS 😭

love notes | suna rintarou

OBVIOUSLY MY NUMBER ONE!!! the premise of the smau is so so important to me <3 i love art so much and graffiti just feels so in character for suna?? and he's such a loverboy?? and the photography plot has just really opened my eyes to the amount of time and effort that goes into the profession!!! oh my god i always think about all the lyrics i picked out <3 and just suna and yn dancing around their problems but still flirting with each other some of my fav chapters definitely have to be chapter 3 and 9 (i have been this 🤏 close to reblogging chapter 9 and just saying paragraph 8 like a thousand times. i wrote that entire little excerpt on a tramway in nyc on the way to roosevelt island) <3 my life while i was writing love notes was really nice and this smau is just so so important to me and i was so happy that others also enjoyed it omg i need to stop yapping <3

try again | sakusa kiyoomi

one of my favorites bc it's basically a self insert 😭😭 it's honestly helped me realize so much about myself and is such a comfort fic for me!! i've read a few fics that seem to capture this feeling of like looking back on a time long ago, which is sort of like fond nostalgia? sort of like if you were married and think back to how you married your spouse, or sitting on a rooftop with your best friend and thinking about how you guys were in your younger days if that makes sense. i love that feeling of it being like your reading a story that happened some time ago, and isn't happening currently, and that's what try again feels like to me. the therapist-client dynamic and messy characters is so important to me, AND U GUYS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF SELF INDULGENCE TRAUMA DUMP IS COMING SOON <3 (sorry this sounds so aggressive omg)

see you at the altar | suna rintarou

one of my fav fav drabbles!! it was so sweet and once again just suna being a lover boy is so important to me!! it warms my heart just thinking about being his love and aa <3

new grounds | kageyama tobio

literally sparked my love for kageyama!! and this felt like my first actual smau and i'm still very proud of it and in love with it <3 like it was so cozy and all good vibes!! super self indulgent for me writing about a reader in technical theatre and the friend groups and everything we're so special to me <3 i get so many sort of like just big childhood friend groups vibes from this fic lowk i think i may have to look into making moodboards for it...not to mention how much @cr4yolaas' night shift smau is inspiring me... (shameless plug)(ALSO RYE I HAVE TO SEND THIS ASK TO U!! I NEED TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SELF RECCS AND THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR OWN FICS <33 I WILL BE IN YOUR INBOX SOON!!)

cold kisses | kozume kenma

life was also lowk a little enjoyable while writing this smau!! like i remember running around fighting for my life the day of prom because i was trying to get ready AND post a chapter of cold kisses <3 i spent so many nights in a cafe writing this smau, i remember the exact seat of the cafe i was sitting in while outlining the smau, i remember working at my last job on dish, and having to stop and pull out my phone to write down ideas, and my manager passing me by and giving me a weird look <3 sorry i guess i associate times in my life a lot with my works although i think that's kind of cool!! i also loved the entire premise of this smau ofc <3 all sparked by how much figure skating tiktok inspired me <3

[legitalicat]

20 Questions for Fic Writers.

Thank you to @foxyanon for both tagging me and giving me a clean copy of the questions so this did not have to wait until after work.

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

Just one, it's old and unimportant. I'm actually about to private it as I no longer like writing fanfic for real people.

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

Since I don't really post to AO3, I'm going to try to guess my word count from Word.

I would guess, just knowing the size of some of my larger works and how many things I fucking have in there, it would be at least 500k. Probably more. Y'all see the length of shit I post and I don't have nearly everything posted.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Currently, HOTD, TLK, Assassin's Creed and Skyrim. Check out my requests to see which fandoms I'm willing to write for!

4. top five fics by kudos

So, my top 5 fics on here are probably

Sweet Sister (Aemond x Reader x Jace, canon)

Keeping Up With The Targaryens (SMAU Aegon x reader)

Player 3 Found (SMAU Jace x reader x Aemond, no targcest)

we can't be friends (Aemond, modern)

Forged From Death (Sihtric x reader, canon era)

This is a guess, but I know Sweet Sister and Keeping Up are my most popular ones.

5. do you respond to comments?

I try, unfortunately most of my time online is also while I'm working so things do slip by me. However I do try to stay on top of my asks and my inbox, so if you ever need to make sure I see something, those are the best ways. Unless you are in my discord server, then just message me on there.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's no where close to the end, but just for what I have planned, I think my angstiest thing will be "Dragon of Valhalla".

For one shots, either "Too Sweet" (a personal favorite) or "we can't be friends"

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

What I have planned for the future of Out of Time is probably the happiest. Mostly because that is my "fix it fic".

Although when I post Alisanne's fic, that will get happy ending. Also a fix it fic.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I've not received hate, thankfully, of any sort.

This is not an invitation to start my friends are crazy (lovingly) and they will ride in battle for me before I even notice it's happened.

9. do you write smut?

Yes! Maybe not well. But I do write it.

10. craziest crossover?

"Dragon of Valhalla". It's combining a fantasy show, a historical fiction drama show, and a historical fiction fantasy video game. Truly, the deepest of brainrots.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. But again, not an invitation. See above.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge! If anyone is interested, ever, please reach out so I can consider it!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Many times in fact. It was a lot easier as a high schooler who had no life otherwise.

14. all time favorite ship?

Fuck. Y'all asking the wrong person, I'm full of bi panic and my favorite ship changes A LOT because of it.

Some of my favorites though would be

Fred Weasley x Hermione Granger (back when I read HP fanfic and participated in the community)

Jess Mariano x Rory Gilmore

Robb Stark x Margaery Tyrell x Danerys Targaryen (crackship yes do I care no I love them and they should have met and dominated)

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It's a private project that few people know about. I intend to finish all my things, but brain doing brain things is hard.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I think I can "emotion" really well. Make you understand it as a reader, make you feel it, without necessarily giving a name to it.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Smut.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I only speak English so you'll probably never catch me include it unless it's High Valyrian. I don't trust Google translate. HOWEVER, I do genuinely think it's a beautiful thing.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Harry Potter 💀

20. favorite fic you've written?

Probably, legitimately, "Out of Time". It was my first genuine dance into HoTD fandom creating. It was my first idea in years.

I had originally written it as an Alisanne fanfiction, actually. But I didn't think anyone would read OC content and so I made it x reader, and lost passion for it in the process.

Idk who has done this, but here are some no pressure tags.

@zaldritzosrose @thenameswinterfics @lady-phasma @anjelicawrites @alexagirlie

[shootingstar-scuderia]

f1 asks

tagged @scuderiahoney (thanks for the tag lee bee seeing the tag made my day)

who is your favourite driver?

idk if i have a true fave but i'm gonna say max, he's the one who got me in to this whole mess

do you have other favourite drivers?

like i said, i probably have too many fave drivers to have a true fave but lando, charles, yuki, fernando, & logan are all up there

who is your least favourite driver?

don't really know if i have a least fave driver... it's not like i really hate any of them. but i will say carlos' radio messages about oscar from miami did not do him any favors, it just made him look like a really sore loser.

do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

mostly drivers! i feel like i get more of the emotional aspect from the sport through the drivers rather than team pride and things like that. i also just like it when interesting things happen and mostly that's from individual drivers and not teams.

if you like teams, what team do you pull for?

i am rooting for williams and not just bc i get so patriotic over logan but also bc it was exciting to see how they would separate themselves from mercedes... but i do think kinda fucked it... let's not get into all of that now

how long have you been into F1?

around midway into the '23 season. singapore was the first race i watched watched (but tbf it was at a airport resturant and it was only the first 12 laps). before that i was still interested in the race but had no way to watch it so i just refreshed twitter a little and checked google to get the results.

what got you into F1?

okay. so. i don't know what made tumblr recommend me a bunch of miscellaneous f1 smaus but it did and i was in the middle of writers block for another fandom and thought a smau would be great for the fic i was writing. and then i was also just so enamored by this one pic of max:

and i texted my friend this pic telling her that i was now a fan of f1 bc he looked so silly and i needed to know what this guy's deal was and the rest was history.

do you enjoy fanfic/RPF?

yep! i write it loll so it would be kinda an issue if i didn't lmao

how do you view new fans?

i'm still pretty new tbh 😭😭 so like i'm really in no position to judge anyone for anything

if you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?

i think i would crumble underneath all the pressure actually. i'd like to be a zak brown, not a tp but just there hanging around with some interesting lore

are your friends and family into F1 as well?

kind of, my brother is into F1 but i have not, for the life of me, been able to find a way to get him to talk to me about the sport with him being so unbelievably dry (why do younger siblings be like that?). my friends are like kind of adjacently into F1. they'll watch the races if i put them on and they let me yap so that's all i really need

are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?

yes! always!! come say hi i love to yap

no pressure tags :)

@mclarenhoney @foreveralbon + anyone else who wants to join in!

[maiverie]

i have a question -- how did you end up getting so much engagement on your first posts? was it more gradual or sudden, and do you have any tips for new writers that are not getting as much attention on their posts?

hi anon!! UM OK i'm very very very flattered and kinda surprised you think my posts get that much engagement (honestly there are sm accs that are much bigger than mine!), but thank u sm for reaching out!! I'm really happy to help so here are my thoughts ^^

I feel like there are two ways you can categorise tumblr engagement as a writer: notes and feedback. if by "first posts" you mean the first fics I posted on this acc, I wouldn't say they did all that well with the note count, but I was really really satisfied with the amount of feedback I got back! stuff like comments/replies, asks, text rbs etc. etc. if you want your work to get notes, i.e. you want a lot of exposure, I would suggest posting things that most people like to see/read (for example, things like headcanons, drabbles, smaus, popular tropes, popular members, etc.). it's not going to be a surefire way to get a lot of notes (because obviously there's a lot more to it), but posting things that people are familiar with — whether that's a trope, a member, or a format — will increase the likelihood that they'll engage with your content. there are a lot of people that have a subset of things they like to read (and will always go back to it), and there are fewer people who like to venture out into the unknown.

you've probably seen a lot of writers talk about the whole "like to feedback ratio" where many authors are seeing discrepancies between the two. for example, a fic of theirs might get 300 likes and only have 5 people reblog it with text or something. I think authors talk about this a lot because, at least in my personal experience, the number of notes doesn't really mean much if there isn't any other feedback to accompany it. my point is that you could write a bunch of headcanons or smaus or whatever and get a bunch of notes from it and still feel unsatisfied if you don't receive proper feedback.

based on my experience, the amount of feedback I receive from my writing is proportional to how much effort I put into it. there's like a drabble that I spent one night on which didn't do that great in terms of note count or feedback/rbs, but there are series/fics I've spent hours and hours writing for which I received a lot of feedback. purely based on my experience, I would really really recommend that you pour your heart and soul into your fics and let your hard work shine through. this might seem a little blunt, but if your writing is decent, your grammar isn't totally botched, and the plot makes sense — you will do just fine :) also, people naturally give feedback only if there's something they can react to — take a look at your stories and think about whether or not there's something for readers to talk about when they rb. did something really heartwarming or shocking happen? are one of the characters funny as fuck? is the plot so toe-curling that readers can't help but scream about it? if you're struggling to have people talk about your fic, you need to give them more reasons to.

overall, I would say my acc has been pretty steady with growth. I noticed a spike when I posted my first smau (because, like I said, a lot of people like to read smaus) but even then, I didn't really care for it because I wasn't really getting the quality feedback that I had with my other stories. I hope the above answers your first two questions ^^ if you'd like any clarification, let me know!

general tips for writers who aren't getting as much attention on their posts:

make sure your layout/presentation is legible and eye-catching. make sure it looks good in both dark and light mode and that the fic's title + main idol member + general vibe/genre (for example, romcom or horror or whatever else) is obvious at first glance

pay attention to the grammar in your stories! read it again and again and make sure there aren't sentences that run off too long or seem too jarring

cut up your paragraphs and make sure they're not too lengthy — I would say anything more than 25 lines is probably going to make some people lose interest

reply to the people that engage with your posts and show genuine appreciation for them — nobody is ever obligated to give you feedback, so I think responding to everything you get and just being very open in general will make people feel more comfortable interacting with you

think about the structure of your fic: if it's a long fic, then ofc the word count doesn't really matter. but if it's a series, make sure your chapters don't run too long or too short. I don't have a lot of experience writing smaus so I can't really comment on them — but ig my advice is to make sure every update has at least one funny joke (with the obvious exception, like if it's an angsty smau or smth idk).

I feel like the stories that stick with me the most, i.e. the ones that are the most memorable, are ones that have their own little twist. you're more than welcome to write popular tropes, but from a reader's perspective, I would say putting your own little spin on them would probably result in more engagement / interest in ur story ^^

apparently (idk if this is true) only the first five tags are the ones that matter, so make sure they're the most popular tags !!

join some networks!! they’re run by amazing amazing people who literally rb your work for free :) u might even meet new friends !!

@.goldenhypen made a survey that actually shares really really interesting insights! stuff like who the most popular member is and what tropes most people seem to like. have a read through it!! it might help!!

I hope this helps anon! again, I'm very very very positive there are other users you can ask and they'll probably be more qualified to give advice TT nevertheless im wishing u all the best w ur blog!!!! u got this!!!!!

[6okuto]

Hello!! I love your work and was wondering how you get different ideas for fics? I struggle coming up with ideas that are kinda outside the box lol, lots of love <333

OMGGG Thank U!! I get it. < girl who's been stuck on ideas. lol...(said in agony). i will try to make a list for both of us (T＿T)b

being so srs 1) i don't think any of my work is vry unique/creative and 2) i'm an infp-t who injects romance into everything and thinks about it everywhere. i have issues. so a popular prompt or one of my Many thoughts is usually all i need 🫥😔 But!!!

reels/tiktoks, esp if it's a trend (would u love me if i was a worm / act a fool / etc). i basically trained my fyp before i uninstalled tiktok to give me new scenarios LMAO

prompt lists/generators can be vry helpful to get my brain going

^ have a list of fave charas / charas that have different personalities !! bokuto, iwaizumi, suna, etc. r faves but they're so different that Boom. 1 prompt = 5 scenes to pick from :]

+ a list your favourite things / tropes/ aus. doesn't matter how popular or niche! key things for Me: special moments/firsts + domesticity + charas being whipped. LOL

think of different media! your fave shows/movies, dating sims, etc. do u have a favourite moment.. what got U flustered 🤨

i get smau ideas from pinterest sometimes . i find funny memes + tweets and save them to a board LOL

Read other works!! also i follow the oc questions tag bc the q's can hit super specific scenarios that make u go Woah

tbh ideas just come from,,, life. silly things. Write down these moments to use later! "photo of you" was bc i saw a girl printing pcs of herself for her friends and said hey... :)

^ "boyfriends in public" was bc i kept watching couples try to pay for each other at checkout. songs they'd post you to...i kept seeing ppl posting their s/o and said what about Me.

multi-chara post: take a prompt and think of it in different locations! he gives you his jacket? why? because you're outside and it's cold, because you're at his game/set/etc. and he thinks it'd be cute that everyone knows you're dating, because you want to sleep and you can use it as a blanket, etc etc.

^ just start naming random places in ur head and see if anything happens—get more specific as u go! house. kitchen. the walk-in pantry. boom: big party scene and person a walks into the pantry at the sight of their favourite snack, caught by person b who's the host. oh that's a good one actually. woah. LOL

and like,, it's so so cool to just.. do an idea that's been done before. remember that if u as a reader will eat up the same prompt/trope over and over again, that u as a writer can feel happy to write it too!! So Many of my own posts have been done before but i think they're still good in their own way 🤷🏻‍♀️ U writing it rather than someone else means that it'll automatically be special to U.

some prompts / thoughts 4 u to use + get ur brain going!!! ^___^

holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, firsts dance! in the kitchen? at a wedding? is it their first one? are they really bad at it? person a thinks person b is a worker and asks for help and they do! they do Not work at this store though. fogged up glasses person a saving b from an awful looking date / a no show a gets b smth from build a bear with a special recording both going to the movies alone but ending up next to each other. it's a comically bad movie a is asked what their 'type' is and describe b who's listening both cosplaying as a chara part of a duo/relationship, then spotting the other at a con :0 (hurt/)comfort: anxious reader, overworked reader, someone was rude, person a has a nightmare, person a accidentally injures themself and doesn't tell b package left at the wrong door "god the men you put on this earth to hunt and protect are ___" person a, who struggles to initiate physical affection, suddenly initiates physical affection (why? where? are they both flustered?) person a tries slipping a valentine into b's things as a secret, but is caught in the act strangers on an airplane watching the same movie next to each other (bonus: one is re-watching, the other is watching for the first time. the re-watcher pretends they don't know what's going to happen because it's endearing to watch the other) a accidentally reacts to b's ig story or posts the comment they very much did not mean to comment

[yuomizuu]

01. to be young & in love in new york city

꒰ kazuha x fem! reader ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 ꒱

w.c: roughly 3.3k+

additional info: modern au, strangers to lovers, mention of character passing out from exhaustion, kazuha is a freelance writer and reader is a baker. just a couple of adults trying to understand and figure out well…life.

( 💌 ) yuomi’s note: aka my very self-indulgent zuha series that absolutely no one asked for, but here we are ladies and gentlemen. honestly, this first chapter ( and really the entire series as a whole ) is kind of just a shot in the dark at me rewriting what was originally intended as a smau to instead be a full on narrative. whether you join along for the ride or not, we’re happy to have you here ( me and kazuha ) and hope you enjoy! (๑>◡<๑)

A blend of crushed coffee beans and baked pastries wafts through the air. The rich aroma makes Kazuha exhale a pleasant sigh of relief, chin resting on the palm of his hand as he continues to mindlessly stir his cup of tea that has long since become lukewarm. His curious eyes wander from place to place: observing the baristas hard at work behind the counter, the occasional passerby from the window, and the cafe's patrons either tending to their own devices or engaging in light-hearted conversation.

Kazuha can’t exactly pinpoint when it was he began doing this particular pastime of his. It merely came about to him one day and hasn’t been able to leave since, sticking to him like coffee stains found on a newly ironed shirt. There’s just a strange sense of enjoyment he gets when watching others from afar simply live out their lives. Or as he often refers to it; people watching.

His innate attentiveness is often regarded as an extension of his caring nature and while that retains some truth, for Kazuha, it is a quality that reaches beyond simple character. The quizzical looks he’d sometimes receive from others each time he noted the brief subtleties of something seemed proof of that. He could share with you many things. Like how each time that one college student sitting in the more secluded area of the cafe begins to bounce his leg, he’ll take a sip of his drink. Or the way one of the baristas' eyes seem to linger on her coworker for longer than usual and each time she's caught, the tips of her ears turn red ever so slightly. All minor details that could easily go unnoticed to the average person.

An old acquaintance of Kazuha’s from university—a student who went by the name of Kunikuzushi—had once referred to this unique observational behavior of his as though he were nothing but a fly on the wall: watching everything unfold around him but yet having little to no involvement. Although a rather rude analogy at the time, it was one Kazuha couldn’t ultimately couldn't refute, lest his own actions claim otherwise.

Perhaps it was the aged poet within him, but Kazuha held no desire to make his presence known by all with each room he entered, nor did he want to. He was perfectly content remaining just as he was now. Preferring instead to submit his inner most thoughts and feelings on certain matters to the familiar black ink that stains his fingertips each time he writes. To live his life akin to that of a wallflower.

A call to his name pulls Kazuha out of his episode of habitual daydreaming, facing back forward as Beidou, the cafe's owner, slides him an iced tea beverage poured into a mason jar. "Hit a stump with your writing? Or do you simply just got your head up in the clouds again?"

"Ah, sorry," he sends her an apologetic smile, reaching out for the drink that he takes a modest sip of. "I was just thinking."

"Of course you are. when are you not thinking Kaedehara?" She’s got him there. "Although…call it a hunch, but you seem to be "thinking" a lot these past few days. More so than usual. Got something particular on your mind?"

"You could say that…"

"That landlord of yours still bugging ya?"

Kazuha tries to brush off her comment with a laugh, though the way he grimaces slightly tells Beidou more than enough to the truth behind his situation. "My offer from before still stands, you know." She reminds him, making sure the mug she's drying in her hands is free of any stains before putting it away in the cupboards below the counter. "If you need a place to stay, my doors are open. All it costs is you becoming a worker here."

He quickly shakes his head dismissively. "It’s alright. I’m sure i'll have things worked out by the end of this week." A blatant lie, one that Beidou can see clear as day. Yet despite that, she says nothing, much to the male’s relief.

"Well, we're having another open-mic tonight. It’s a bit last minute but if you want, I can squeeze you in somewhere on tonight's lineup."

At her words, Kazuha takes a small glance towards the small makeshift stage that lies not too far off from where he sits. He watches as a band starts to set up for their performance, tuning their instruments and testing the microphones to make sure they work. For a moment he's inclined to take Beidou’s offer. After all, reading his poetry aloud has always helped clear his mind and it wouldn't be the first time he's participated in the cafe's weekly open-mic nights. He’s even become a regular performer. Customers and audience members alike manage to recognize him and instantly look forward to listening to his poetry.

But instead, he lets out a sigh. "I appreciate the offer Beidou, but…not tonight."

"Don’t got any new poetry to share for your devoted listeners?" She jokes.

"I do. It’s just…" he pauses, glancing at his journal on the counter that has remained untouched ever since he arrived. A troubled look flashes across his face, one that he quickly replaces with a smile upon realization. "What I have now just doesn't seem suitable to present to an audience. If I went ahead and read what I wrote, it wouldn't feel as fulfilling and would be an insult to a writers like myself."

The older woman stares at him for a moment, almost as though she were waiting for that smile of his to crack and honestly, had she waited any longer, it probably would have. But eventually, she lets out a small laugh as she shakes her head. "Alright, alright, I hear ya loud and clear. We’ll save it for next time then, yea?” She gestures at the iced tea, tapping her hand twice on the counter. "It’s on the house."

Before Kazuha can open his mouth to deny anything, Beidou has already walked off, making her way over to the band to make sure all is working order with the equipment. He observes from afar for a couple of seconds before turning back, face down, as a defeated sigh escapes from him this time. even he finds his own false display of positiveness to be laughable.

Digging through his pockets, he manages to find some spare change, and after placing the currency on the table counter as a tip, he gathers his belongings and promptly exits the café just as the band's mellow rnb music begins to play. Outside, he’s greeted with the sight of peach colored skies and rolling clouds of lavender as the sun sets across the horizon. A comforting sight that quells a bit of his surging worries while also serving as a reminder of the time. It would appear his mundane activities of drinking tea and people watching lasted for longer than usual today.

Adjusting his bag, Kazuha proceeds to walk towards the nearby bus stop, opting to stand nearby upon arrival once he sees the several people gathered around already. This part of the city did tend to get more crowded compared to others, especially during evenings or weekends. Which was only natural, of course, due to the countless stores, restaurants, and bars that could be found.

Even though it makes his wallet empty, Kazuha frequently ventures out here—the liveliness of the place puts him in a more positive mood compared to where he lives. Stealing Beidou’s words, for lack of better terms, his part of the city was rather bleak and somber. In the beginning, he didn’t mind waking up to the sound of drunkards hollering throughout the streets late at night or the unpleasant view of a rundown alleyway from his only window in his apartment. When you’re strapped for money, you have to make the most of things.

But after about a month or so, Kazuha just couldn’t stand to handle such an environment for any longer. A strife that clearly showed in his writings as well. Therefore, in a desperate attempt to seek a change of scenery, even if just for a short while, he took a bus ride to a random part of the city. Fast forward to now, and here he was, visiting the more bustling parts of his city whenever possible or whenever he was in the mood for jotting down a line or two of poetry. It’s a shame, really—if money wasn’t an issue for him, he’d happily move to this place without a second thought. Maybe one day…soon.

His phone buzzes from within his pocket. A message? Could it be from Ayaka? Of perhaps it was Heizou asking for assistance on one of his projects…again. As Kazuha continues to ask himself similar questions, he pulls out his phone, but as the screen lights up, and his eyes land upon the name of the sender, he quickly becomes filled with dread.

No one likes receiving messages from their landlord, least of all if said message is in regard to their late pay on that month’s rent. Unfortunately for Kazuha, he just so happened to be in that exact predicament and his landlord was anything but pleased with his negligence.

But did he seriously have to go and tell him he was getting evicted in less than a day? How could he possibly find somewhere else to stay in such a short amount of time?

Not bothering to respond any further, much less reason with his landlord, Kazuha immediately shuts his phone off, his grip around it tightening.

Ayaka—though kind-hearted as she may be—was always busy preparing banquets and organizing numerous charity events. If Kazuha asked to stay over at her place for a while, he feels he'd only end up being a hindrance to her work. Heizou’s dorm at the university was far too small to fit two people, let alone offer room to someone who was no longer a student, so that was an instant no-go. And although Beidou had happily offered him a place to stay, Kazuha just got done rejecting her help not even ten minutes ago. He couldn’t just turn back and say he needed help now. Not after all that trouble he went through insisting he was fine. That would be embarrassing! As for family…well, there wasn’t even an option for discussion to begin with.

While the distressed male continues to silently curse at himself as the increasing lack of options become more and apparent, his eyes barely manage to catch sight of the departing bus, doors closing as it begins to drive off. “Shoot— no, wait!” He reaches a hand out as he hurriedly runs over, waving frantically in hopes of catching the attention of the driver or any passenger onboard kind enough to alert them.

But all that he gets in return is the sight of the back of the bus slowly driving off into the road. That was the last and only bus that stopped in his part of the city.

It’s taking everything in Kazuha to not throw his phone across the street right here and now. one thing after another. Archons, was the universe simply out for him today?

Left with no other options, he opts to simply walk his way back home. If only he didn’t live on the other side of town…

── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

The remaining hours of the day seemed to quickly pass by—the lingering traces of golden hour have long since faded into a veil of black skies, coated with shimmering with specs of stardust. Tucked away in the narrow streets of the city, lies your small yet quaint bakery. The golden lettering etched onto the glass door outside serving as the only indication that anything was there in the first place to the common passerby: Okashi Pastries.

You and your bakery are stationed next to a flower shop, the owner of which you know as Tighnari. Having your establishment set up next to his came with its perks. For starters, you always found it to be quite the delight to take in the smell of baked sweets mixing in with the delicate scent of roses, daisies, and tulips. Each morning you stepped out to set up the tables and 'open' sign, inhaling the lovely smell that permeated the air served as an energizing boost to start off your day.

Tighnari himself was also a pleasure to have as both your neighbor and fellow business owner. Aside from receiving the generous discount offers and exclusive access to newer arrivals, the florist was also a very considerate individual, occasionally giving you pointers on how to properly manage and promote your business. You’re almost certain that without his advice, your bakery would not have lasted for as long as it has.

“I mean, can you believe it?” Tighnari asked, allowing you to pour him another cup of herbal tea as he continued with venting out his frustrations of the day. “I had made it very clear to her that because she submitted her order to me at the last minute, that it wasn’t going to be ready on the day she needed it.”

You stifle a chuckle, carefully lifting your cup up to your lips. “Did you offer to give her a refund?”

“Of course I did! And not only that, but I even went as far as recommending other florist shops she could go to that would fulfill her order on the same day. But what did she decide to do instead? Complain to me over the phone for a whole hour about how my policies are ‘unethical’ apparently.”

Quickly swallowing the liquid down before you choked on it, you let out a laugh. “Well, no one said it would be easy running a self-owned business.”

“No they did not. Quite frankly, I would have very much appreciated the heads up about the amount of stupid customers I’d have to deal with before deciding to be a business owner.” Tighnari concluded in an exasperated tone, calming himself down by taking a long sip of his tea. After placing his cup down, he takes a look around at your bakery. “But you seem to be doing well at the very least. Have you been able to take care of the plants I gave you?"

You nod with a hum. “Mhm! They’re not as high maintenance as I originally expected them to be, so I’ve been managing them pretty nicely.” You follow his line of sight, observing the few potted plants you have scattered throughout the space. Their lush greenery and soft pastels of sprouting flowers add more life and color to the bakery. “The customers seem to like them too.”

“Hm, naturally.” The male comments, a subtle sense pride to his voice that you dismiss with a playful eye roll.

As the two of you continue discussing other topics, the chime of a bell suddenly echoes throughout the space. Pausing in your conversation, you and Tighnari simultaneously look towards the entrance. You catch sight of a white haired male almost stumbling in through the door, his hand gripping tightly on the handle as his entire body seemed to lean against it for support. You internally wince, thinking another drunkard has managed to find their way into your bakery uninvited—it’s happened before.

“Didn’t you have the sign switched to ‘closed’ already?” Tighnari questions in a hushed tone, sparing you a quick glance before fixating his eyes on the other with caution.

“I did…” you mutter back. Quickly masking a cordial demeanor, you walk out from behind the counter and carefully approach the male lingering by the entrance. “Um, excuse me…but can I help you with something?”

“Are you…open by any chance?” He speaks through labored breaths, his voice notably shaky and low.

“Uh, no sorry, I just closed up shop a while ago,” You start to explain, a hint of apprehension in your tone as you consider what to say next. You don’t catch any whiff of alcohol on him and other than his languid and unstable movements, he didn’t necessarily look completely intoxicated. Maybe he was just buzzed? “Did you perhaps want to place an order for something? If it’s small I’m sure I can still get it for you.”

He slowly shakes his head in response, attempting to push himself off the door. He attempts to speak again but all that comes out is a mixture of incoherent mutters and heavy breaths. You look over your shoulder back to Tighnari, who mirrors your equally puzzled look with on of his own.

“…Hey are you feeling okay? Hey…hey!” Letting your instincts take over, you immediately reach out and catch hold of the male suddenly falling forward. A slight panic courses through you as his body goes limp in your arms. Tighnari quickly appears at your side, leaning down a bit to observe the male’s condition whilst you glance between the two in concern. “Tighnari is he okay? Why did he just…?”

“He’s fine, just extreme exhaustion it seems.” He tells you, his voice calm as he gestures for you to follow his lead. “We need to lay him down somewhere, and also get him some water right away.”

With Tighnari’s instructions, you both carry the unconscious male up to your residence on the second floor. You manage to bring him inside and carefully lay him down on the nearby couch. You rush back in forth various different rooms, gathering all the things Tighnari requested of you while he tended further to the male’s condition.

Once everything settled down a little, you simply watched in silence from behind as Tighnari places a cool rag over the male’s forehead, adjusting his head against the pillow before standing up and taking a step back. He then looks to you. “If you want I can bring him over to my place instead.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I don’t have a problem with him being here.” You gaze down at the male sleeping now on your couch. “It’d be a whole hassle to carry him all the way there now…”

He’s passed out like a lightbulb. Chest rising and falling with each breath he takes, accompanied with the faint sound of light snores. You’ve tucked him into a fleece blanket you managed to find buried in the back of your closet where upon doing so, his body instantly relaxed, curling himself further beneath as his face became devoid of tension. the soft lines around his lips show that he must be dreaming blissfully. He looked almost akin to a slumbering child: innocent and carefree. You can’t help but soften your gaze at the sight as you feel a slight pang in your heart.

“Besides, he looks like he’s been through a lot. The least I can do is make sure he has an easy rest of the night. I know I’d want the same from someone else if I was in his position.”

And you did—back when you had just moved into the city with nothing but a few bags and some spare cash to your name.

It’s never been easy out here for you. Even after everything managed to fall into place and you succeeded in getting all the things you dreamt of wanting, It always felt like there had been something that was still missing from it all. 

Like when you’re modifying a new recipe for your batch of chocolate chip cookies. Sure, each batch you made was certainly sweet and had your tastebuds craving another bite, but it somehow still tasted just like your average cookie—something was missing to it, a key ingredient of sorts. Many of your customers, friends, and Tighnari brush it off as just your sense of perfectionism getting in the way, reassuring you that the taste was good just the way it was. But you were never satisfied.

To this day you have yet to find what that “something” is exactly. Both in your chocolate chip cookies and in life. Perhaps this summer, you’ll finally find what it is you’re looking for.

♡︎ series masterlist. | ✐ next.

[writingmochi]

hey! this is super random but why do some of your posts have "lissie:" at the start? since not all your posts start w it i think? that's all, i was just curious since i'm a new follower!

lissie: hello anon! *waves hand* that's definitely random cause you're actually the first one to ask about it (i didn't expect someone to ask about that at all). i sometimes do it inconsistently, but i'll try to explain them

though my tumblr mobile theme changed along with the big BIG project i am currently doing (currently in the terra incognita theme), my main theme of the blog is how this blog is a space agency where we do research and find new discoveries in space (read as creating new stories) and it also expands to my other side blog, hence the reason i nickname this one "regina" and my reading account "cynthia" like how you name a large mother spaceship like a "death star" in star wars

all three groups i am writing about are space exploration crews to different planets in the solar system in their own exploration programs: ateez to mars, txt to saturn, and enhypen to neptune (hence the name of their respective space program is on the greek god name of each of planets that is based on roman god name; ares, cronus, and poseidon) and, me, lissie, i'm acting as the head of the agency and flight director. that's also why navigation, wip, and masterlist pages look like spaceship computer user interfaces.

"lissie:" is like that voice transcript of a space crew talking with each other or to mission control (here's the apollo 11 one for context), though this concept definitely shines more in my side blog where i have a sit-down talk with my story characters like this one where the time wave characters interject my speech lol (pls utilize @interactivemochi, i love the concept of yall interacting with my characters by talking to them directly cause that is just so underrated in all atzblr, txtblr, n enhablr might make an epilogue smau update of laurel hell and posting it there)

in this blog, i use "lissie:" usually when talking about things related to my writings such as review responses, writer stuff, my current status when i'm writing things, the heeseung ethan/evan thing cause that's funny knowing i've written heeseung as ethan before, my thoughts on the fandom, and all of that stuff

i don't use "lissie:" in announcement posts under #announcement from the moon, because, other than making it seem more serious, i wanna portray it more like a newsletter/announcement thing where you don't know who is writing behind it but to represent the organization as a whole. i also don't use it in tag game posts just to make it tidier.

another case of when i don't use "lissie:" is where i tag the post as #ignore the ramble. they're usually posts where i ramble about stuff that is relevant to this blog's audience but not writing related like music reviews, random rbs on idols, etc. i had used "lissie:" for this tag too but those posts are being transferred to #status updates by the moon for consistency as i write this :D

other than those, i also usually just write notes on tags cause i don't wanna cover up the main idea of the og post, especially if it is rb.

so yeah, basic conclusion: "lissie:" is when i post about my writings, being a writer, the state of the tumblr fandom, replying to people, etc. while the others that don't have "lissie:" are when i'm rambling.

and this blog's theme is the brainchild of me being a space kid who wanted to work in a space agency, but life said "you're more suited for art and social things" so i studied social science and take hobbies in different art forms instead

hope that answers your question and more lmao i really do be writing my blog concepts here to

[flwoie]

ohh okay this is good to know!! i mostly write written so when i saw all the smaus i was like “oh shit how do i do dat?” LMAO

oh yes, feel free to send me any questions~! it’s like we’re having a convo lol so i don’t mind! oh and to answer ur question, i mostly write for whoever is currently on my mind,,, which these days is usually my ateez babies, but i’ve recently started thinking in moa-mode lol so maybe some txt drabbles too! i am working on an ateez series rn tho, so i’ve been in atiny mode for A WHILE lmao,, it’d be fun to write for someone else for a change 

and i feel u bestie 😭 writing is so hard, like i get my ideas and things down, but then i get so busy and distracted that it takes me FOREVER to finish things unless they’re drabbles or short fics sdkfjhdkvb it’s also why i never post series until I’ve written the first five parts cuz i need to know how it feels to write it and i can decide whether or not i can commit to it before posting to readers,, cuz i know what it feels like to love a work and then find out it’s discontinued u know? it suckssss

okay, now, my question time!! when you’re having a hard day, what is something that comforts you and never fails to cheer you up? <3

-3

p.s. also i hope it’s okay to say this, but i noticed in your main navigation some of the links don’t work on mobile,, i think you need to go “https://flwoie.tumblr.com/post” instead of the way it currently is formatted cuz this method only works on the desktop site!! why does tumblr make links all wonky 😭 just thought i would mention it but please don’t take offence!!

LOLL smaus aren’t really easy to write, i prefer doing written works

and yesss we love atiny and moa writers 🙏🙏 i’d love to read ur works once u reveal urself 🫶 i’m actually writing ateez for the person i’m writing for in the event so i had to do a lot of research about them cause i don’t know a lot about them LMAOO

ur so true, like sometimes i wish i could write down what’s in my head 😭 i would have this whole plot in my head that sounds like a two hour movie but when i write it down it, it’s only two pages 😭😭 AND YES SERIES ARE SO DIFFICULT LIKE I HAD THIS ONE WRITTEN SERIES BEFORE BUT I HAD TO DISCONTINUE IT BC I HAD NO MOTIVATION 😕

answering ur question! talking to friends always comforts me esp when something good happens to them, it always brightens my day

also i just saw ur other ask and it’s fine sjkdkejskssk

okay time for my question ! what comforts you and never fails to cheer you up when ur having a hard day

[aequlinks]

genshin x reader smaus i recommend <3

i think it’s about time i did this in case anyone asked me about smaus i am interested in or if you are looking for something to read:] i will be listing their titles, summary, and what i like! these are just the ones i’ve seen (or remembered).

good 4 u by @ilkuni — a xiao smau

lesson learned! never challenge hu tao when you’re drunk bc you’ll just lose and now you have to post a thread of all your exes as songs from olivia rodrigo’s hit debut album sour … or: “yn desperate much!” “yn still loves xiao? yikes! doesnt he already have someone new?” “stop ruining my relationship u bitch!”

i’m sure we all know this one by now HAHA rosie is one of the genshin smau writers i have seen that’s been here as long as me by now

i actually was really interested in this one because it was an exes to lovers, and you all know how it’s one of my favorite tropes hehe

it was very interesting because there was foreshadowing here and there and the plot kept progressing without being confusing

10 things i hate about you by @x-xxiaos — a xiao smau

after breaking up with his since-high school-girlfriend, xiao made a long list of things he should and hated her for, so he won’t fall for her again in case name tries to enter his life once again. for five long years, xiao did a great job at keeping name off of his mind, but what would he do if she suddenly shows up at his door, asking him to work with her?

i’ve actually never watched our beloved summer where this is based off of, i first thought it was the movie because i remember there was one like that

this is also an exes to lover so i really loved it HAHAHA eyn update when /lh

i like how xiao kept deflecting it and yn kept going but this is for my job i don’t like you anymore, the dynamic was fun

i think he knows by @daixuki — a xiao smau

you’ve liked him since the first time you saw him perform in your school’s battle of the bands. so you do what any normal girl with a crush does: send him cheesy pick-up lines through a dummy account. he never replies. until now.

funny how angel told me she wanted to write a smau bc of me and my anons and now she’s writing one t_t so YAY

this is the first one here that’s not an exes to lovers but a my friend likes you but you don’t know so i’m going to help her secretly

it also gives space for angst because dayum what if xiao is conflicted i love it

someone you like by @rrinsluvr — a xiao smau

even after two years, she still hasn’t moved on. all hope was lost until he sent her a text.

this one is during the pandemic so it makes sense why it’s a smau right HAHA unlike mine where they literally meet each other and still text t__t nothing i just found it adorable that way

the way there’s a kazuha leading man vibes here too makes me ueue because i love kaed

i think xiao is on point here or it’s just me but i really love the way he’s portrayed here

still have my heart by @luvinelysia — a kazuha smau

IN WHICH, kazuha’s friend gets into a fight with one of your friends OR IN WHICH, two exes meet due to being involved in a fight with their friends

right off the bat, yessss bc i have a cameo HAHA but my title won for this so you guys should check this out because there’s conflict here OH and this is an exes to lovers

also ely shows us salty kazuha here so if you like that then feel free to read this one because i actually like salty kaed

and that there’s a side of a xiao x reader here so <3 ok i forgot this was a kazuha smau ely really needs to make xiao stop flirting with me

21 days by @v3nicee — a childe smau

after being busy with their priorities, ajax and [y/n]’s relationship went downhill. 4 years after that incident happened their path crossed again, and now ajax pleaded for 21 days to win her back.

exes to lovers world domination because this is an exes to lovers smau HAHAHA one of the best tropes i swear

i like how childe is portrayed in this one and that he actually makes time for yn instead of being an ass and not trying to win her back

oh and the whole aether as the second lead part makes me cry because i am weak i love my twins yall i hope that we don’t keep friendzoning him..

lowkey by @ilkuni — an ayato smau

it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

when rosie dropped this i was excited because i have never seen anyone attempting to make an ayato smau, partially me as well with a long fic because i’m not sure i’ll be able to play him out

the plot sounded good because i love those lowkey secret relationships IN FICS not irl i can’t do that sorry i’m loud irl i’d blabber my mouth

not the way i was caught in a chokehold with the recent updates of chapters 20 and beyond because of the arranged marriage

raised the bar by @skaramush — a scaramouche smau

yn thought she finally escaped the perpetual doom of placing 2nd after she graduated high school. but alas! the leaderboard has her name printed under another’s! a name she thought she’d never get to see again. better luck next time, i guess.

i haven't actually caught up with the updates in a while but i like the academic rivals to lovers trope

one of the lines i liked was when kuni found out yn was studying for a long time?

i alike that kuni isn't too offputting or too mean which many portray him to be as

f#cking bastard by @scarahours — a scramouche smau

getting off wasted at a party wouldn’t hurt right? that’s what college life is for - you study, eat, sleep and repeat. probably do something batshit once or twice. but who would ever know, it wouldn’t hurt right? so why do you suddenly find the social reject’s lips pressed against yours?

i don't think i've caught up with this one in a while but i like that diluc is portrayed as the ex because i haven't seen that yet

i like that the plot is unpredictable because i really didn't expect kuni knows yn

oh i also like that even if diluc chased after yn, she didn't agree HAHA

i think that's really all there is to this post! i might add in a few more smaus should i ever find some more:]

[lviste]

i wanna have a very nice moment rn bc i feel like crying.

ava @rrinsluvr you were my first moot here and honestly i cant rmb how we became moots but i absolutely adore you for being one of my closest friend rn ( online and rp ) as well as one of my closest moots. you also inspired me to write smaus

su @scarahours you were one of my favourite smau writers and i admire you so when we became friends(?) i hope we are, i was kinda shocked bc i wasnt a writer yet and you were the one who encouraged and inspired me to write a remake of the remarried empress. i also consider you as one my closest friends online.

lee / lara @skaramush you were also one of my favourite smau writers and i admire you as well. the first time we talked was when i asked you to add me to your taglist so when one day you suddenly asked to be moots and join a server i was really shocked /gen and i hesitated to join but i dont regret it. i found it surprising and funny that you thought i was filipino tbh. both you and su. i consider you one of my closest friend online

nyx @albenyx you were one of the people to welcome me and for that i was grateful because on the first few days, i didn't understand anything at all and i had to use google translate. i really appreciate you trying to speak in english for me to understand easier and even though i bully you the most i really love you fr and you are one of my closest friend

FUCK IM STARTING TO CRY

okay moving on

kyo @telemi you were also one of the people i met at first and maybe we werent very close, i appreciate you trying to talk to me in english to make me feel welcomed and i hope we can be closer in the future okay? take good care of yourself and we will all be waiting for you to come back and maybe we arent very close but i consider you as one of my friends

sevy @sevynnee you were also one of the people that made me feel welcome in the sever. i appreciate you being aether and translating some of your words in english so i can understand better. we might not be as close or we are in your opinion, but i consider you as one of my closest friends online. honestly i was scared of you so i didnt know we could be this close in my opinion but thank you. i also admire how much time and effore you put in our rp

pam @ay4kshalatus you were one of the people who welcomed me even though i wasnt filipino and you made me feel welcomed and even now you are still really nice to me that i feel like i dont deserve it tbh and honestly im really glad we became friends pampam <3 or maybe im just thinking it too far but you are one of my closest friends online too in my opinion it doesn't matter if you dont feel the same.

ein @kazu-topia you were also one the people who welcomed me to the server. i admire your humor and you never fail to always make me laugh. i know i bully you time to time but i genuinely appreciate you from your dramatic antics to your crazy y/n life. i consider you as one of my closest friend. i know you tried to speak english for me at first to make me feel welcomed and i really appreciate it so thank you

biu @biuun you were one of the people who welcomed me to this server. honestly you had the most unproblematic life(until baizhu) and you would always stay with me while we watch them have their y/n era and i know you haven't been online much but in the beginning i felt left out because i didn't know what was happening nor was i sure on what to say but you were like " liv lets just sit down and eat popcorn while watching them " and that made me really happy to be involved at least once. i consider you as one of my friends or even closest friends.

ate sam @sunizome you were one of the few people who welcomed me and i was quite afraid of you at first because you were older than me so i didnt know how to react. we arent very close due to us not talking alot but i appreciate you being my ate for 10 seasons in the original timeline and i consider you one of my friends or maybe even closest friend. i hope we can be closer with each other

ain @shimenawas you joined after me i think but honestly you are so sweet to me??? like ik i bully you time to time but you are so nice to me and i feel like i dont deserve it sometimes. we arent very close and i would love to be closer with you in the future. and honestly i really consider you as one of my friends or even closest friends :)

@/everyone i love all of you and even tho i get mad at you guys sometimes or bully you guys, i dont really mean it. i know all of you miss the old liv ( the sweet, polite, nice liv) so heres the sweet and nice liv okay. i know i also say sometimes i regret joining the server, i dont actually mean it and im glad lara thought i was a filipino hence why im here. i love all of you and remember to take good care of yourself, stay healthy, and drink lots of water okay?