#i ask people to use gender neutral pronouns but i dont correct them if they dont. i like they/them but i dont HATE she or he

[tmasc-confessions]

how do i get people to stop degendering me? my pronouns are he/him(and hy/hymn if the people im around aee neopronoun friendly) and NOT they/them and i never use gender neutral terms. my sister, who ive been out to since the age of twelve, constantly misgendersnand deadnames me to my face, but when itll get her attention, she'll out me to people without my consent, and whilst doing it, completely degender me and call me her sibling and exclusively use they/them. it fucking annoys the shit out of me

on top of this she constantly asks me about what surgeries i want and if im fine with bottom growth and she wants details about my sex life with my partner (who is also trans(not binary trans)) because im aroacespec and theyre not and im starting to fucking hate her lmao. she also goes out of her way to ask ME, a trans masc who she cant even fucking gender correctly or use the right NAME FOR, about issues or experiences that TRANSFEMMES HAVE. which is good for her to learn about and i love transfemmes but im transmasc so i dont fucking have the qualifications to tell her about transfemme experiences. she has a transfemme friend (who she uses the correct name and pronouns for) that she could ask but she asks me instead.

I’m like fairly sure that pressing you about your intimate life with your partner is literally sexual harassment. She seems disgusting I hope you can get away from her…

[writinrealslow]

Hi Writin, fellow viewer here.

I recently watched your video on talking about nonbinary character design and i found it to be really insightful. It made me realize that I wanted to add more nonbinary and trans characters into my story that im writing one way or another. So thank you for that. You did mention that if we wished we could ask for your own opinion on our designs, so Id like to show you a character that Ive been working on.

Id like to preface by saying that my story takes place on fictional planet so technically everyone is and alien. The inhabitants are called Violettans (after the name of their planet Violetta). Violettans are humane in apperance besides having elf like ears, naturally having coloured eyes and hair and some do have horns and atennae but thats not featured in my characters design.

This is Amenza.

They use they/them. How I have them characterized so far is they tend to try to act mature and more serious due to them being the younger sibiling and attempting to be taken more seriously, along with helping out their family with their food truck business. Theyre a side character in my story and mainly come in when one of my main leads decides to start a band and them being interested in joining. They love music and playing the guitar and bass.

At first I wanted them to have a more fem presenting apperance but after conceptualizing it and showing it to some friends, I kinda didnt like the style and unfortunately they kept getting misgendered.

I ended up redesigning them to the first look you see of them. I dont know, what are your thoughts on them? Im sorry if the description of them seems dull, Im still writing for them so Im trying to figure out their full personality through my writing and I dont wanna bore you with my ideas.

I do have one more question for you, how do you have a nonbinary character introduce themselves without it sounding "performative". Im stuck with the dilemna of them making clear what pronouns they go by but without it sounding...odd? Do you have any ideas?

Thanks so much!

As far as design and personality goes, you seem to have it all down pretty well. I also think they're really cute in both outfits, so you did a great job there! I'll be frank, you'll probably just have to get used to people misgendering them, as even when people design the most gender neutral character possible, some people will still insist on misgendering them, which isn't going to be your fault, it'll be their fault for being obstinate dickheads about it. So long as you make it clear that they're nonbinary, people will either get the message and change how they talk about amenza, or they'll refuse and you'll know they're being transphobic and that their opinions don't matter anymore.

If you want to make them more fem-presenting, then it's perfectly fine to lean into it. Amenza's personality and what makes them the most comfortable should matter more than the arbitrary expectation of androgyny. Do what you think works best for them and they'll be good enby representation.

As far as introductions go, there are a few ways to go about it. You could have a friend introduce them and say something along the lines of "this is amenza, they play the guitar" and then just continue to refer to them using the proper pronouns. This is what you might call "implicit canonization," wherein the character's identity is made clear through normal conversation.

Another way you can do it is the way I mentioned in character design video: someone accidentally misgenders Amenza and they correct them. This is more explicit and also comes up just as naturally as tje first option, and it also makes amenza's identity something they claim for themself without needing to go into the details of their gender identity.

Finally, you can bite the bullet and just have them say that they're nonbinary. The most natural way to do this would be to have the person they correct ask them about it. Some people might claim this is unnatural, but this literally happened to me yesterday at work.

Don't worry about being considered performative, because more often than not, the people who accuse you of that are acting in bad faith, and the people you're making nonbinary characters for will appreciate feeling seen. Amenza sounds like a fun character, and you should be allowed to have fun making them without worrying about people throwing a fit. So long as you're respectful in your depiction, it'll be hard to go wrong.

Thanks for showing them to me, they sound really cool! ^_^

[flutterboxx]

November 9th: the "theying" of trans woman

I've noticed this issue for years but i was reminded about it when I was on tiktok and this huge argument started in the comments, and what started this argument was someone misgendering Hunter Shafer by saying "they" the whole video.

It was this long thread of comments, I think like 120 or so comments going back and forth from several people arguing from either side. So many people use the excuse of “oh but you can say they to anyone! It's gender neutral” and others telling the commenters, “no, she’s a she, and she doesn’t want to be called they”. 

If you don't know what pronouns someone uses, that's when you say “they”. When someone clearly says their pronouns are she or he or something else, and they don't wanna be called they, then don't call them they. In the case of hunter schaffer, she’s a she, so why wouldn’t you call her she?

The reason why I called the title “the theying of transwoman” is because this is from my experience of being a transwoman and I've experienced and seen this a lot, not only online, but in my own life too. It is really telling to me when someone calls me "they," they dont actually see me as a woman. when it is said to me it's very often used as a deceptive way of misgendering me, because they don't want to call me he cuz that would be blatant and they don't want to say she because they don’t actually consider me a women, but if they say “they” then its a way for them to misgender me “without” misgendering me. And if I correct them, there is always the excuse of “oh it's gender neutral! I can say it to anyone”. It's underhanded, deceptive, and snake-like.

The moral of this: I wish people would just respect people. I'm not asking for much.

Fluttergirl

[mycochaotix]

MCX Rants: “It/it’s pronouns”

r/nonbinary user (heavily downvoted) commented: “

1: This is the first time i see someone using "it". I would be offended if someone called me "it". It is used for objects and dogs, not people. “

Another user said: “...how do their pronouns offend you my dude lmao” downvoted user replied

2: “Did you read what I wrote? I am not offended, I WOULD be offended if it was used for me as it is not a pronoun for people but for animals (not humans) and objects. People in this sub are so ready for aggression, it's unbelievable.”

MCX commented:

Its unfortunate you feel that way :) the community seems opening and non aggressive to me 💯—- i cant speak to the reasons for your downvoting but can speak to your original comment in a kind and hopefully welcoming way :)

I dont use it/it’s for someone unless theyve told me or it says on their profile descriptors that use those pronouns. The reality, imo, is that GENERALLY (unless specified by someone as their correct pronoun(s)): using "it/it’s" pronouns for a person is generally considered offensive and disrespectful.

While its generally true that, for majority of those using pronouns, referring to someone as "it" can be dehumanizing or seen as offensive, its simply not offensive to those who identify with that pronoun in whatever combination. The reasons for this, are specific to the individual being using ‘it/its’ pronouns and can be wide ranging.

Despite reasons, or not, imo to be an empathetic, inclusive, and kind human person: It's crucial we use the pronouns that someone specifies, even if it makes us uncomfortable. Using correct pronouns fosters an inclusive and affirming environment for individuals of all gender identities. If you are unsure about someone's pronouns, it's best to ask them or use gender-neutral language until you have the information.

[mithliya]

omg hi! I was thinking about it after I saw post on radblr about gendered languages soo I want to ask you to make a poll if it's okay!

my native language is gendered so you can refer to chair as he and to door as she and everything, it is not only reflected in nouns but also in adjectives and verbs. and since everything is gendered, you can't talk about someone without specifying their sex, so for example, if you want to say "this teacher is very nice" you need to specify in every word that teacher's sex.

so the problem in my country that feminists are dealing with, is that people, when referring to a woman, are using he/him for noun and she/her for the rest of the words. like in "this doctor is very nice" "doctor" will be used in a male form, while all the other words will be used in a female form or if someone want to say "this doctor is a good specialist" they will only specify that this is a woman only in a word "this" or won't do even that.

this way of using words is already erasing women from the language, but with all that, one of the arguments against using female form while talking about a woman (which is grammarly correct and is what feminists are asking for) is that female form sound "unserious" or "unprofessional". it is also a common thing to hear something like "she's not an actress, she's an actor!" as if "actress"(female) is inferior and "actor"(male) is superior.

there are female forms of words that people do not care about(some still do), mostly because it is usually women's professions like "teacher", "kindergartener", "flight attendant", "babysitter", etc but it is only adding to all that misogyny.

so all this talking was because I wanted to ask you to make a poll about if other women speaking gendered language have this kind of problem in their country/language.

I also always feel weird when people in english are using gay as an adjective, like saying gay woman instead of lesbian and gay people while referring to LGB but not lesbian people or bi people for some reason. but it seems like a lot of woman here on radblr don't really mind that? so I thought that it might be because of how english is not gendered and if there's any gyns speaking gendered languages, I would also like to read what they think about it.

my language is similarly gendered! coincidentally, chair is also masculine, but the door is also masculine. table is feminine, pillow is feminine, blanket is masculine, room is feminine, etc. it would also be in arabic that if you say "this teacher is very nice" it would be "this(feminine) teacher(feminine) is very nice(feminine)". its extremely gendered which i dont mind but what i DO dislike about it is if you want to be neutral, the default is male. masculine is both masculine and neutral depending on context. male as neutral doesn't sit right with me personally.

how it works in your language sounds terrible! one thing i like about my language is the way words are feminised is pretty simple and consistent. doctor vs doctora, teacher (mudaris, male) vs teacher (mudarisa, female). you just add an -ah sound at the end of the profession & it becomes female.

i would argue english IS gendered tho, its just not as gendered as languages like arabic, german, spanish, etc but it is indeed gendered. especially compared to languages like mandarin, in which the pronoun for both sexes is ta (so no he nor she, just ta. context clues or the character used will indicate the sex tho). theres also stuff to be said about how "female" and "woman" have "male" and "man" in them.

ANYWAYS... heres the poll u asked for,, i wasnt sure if some of these options apply to any languages but i thought id make these options regardless in case thats simply my ignorance:

[demisexual-eddie-diaz]

Hello, it's the anon from the last " is this transphobic?" ask

if i am afraid of misgendering someone, and i am not completely close to them, should I avoid them (while still maintaining cordiality?)

context:

the person in question used to be a friend of mine, before we mutually drifted apart but remained friendly

After this, they came out as a trans ftm, but eventually found themselves to be non-binary

it's been over five years, and I haven' t seen them much since we have very different classes.

They are SUPER nice but i still catch myself slipping with pronouns sometimes. I can remember their name perfectly though (no deadnaming, but then again I haven't interacted with them much since we drifted).

The fact that it's been so long since they've come out kind of negates the excuse of "not being used to it"

On the other hand, the language we speak at home does not have gender neutral pronouns (i mean they might have come up with some, but my parents sure don' t know about them/wouldn't use them) so my friend is still referred to with feminine pronoun, on the occasion that they are mentioned.

They were only male-identifying for a short period, but i think i had an easier time remembering the male pronouns. so maybe its because im not used to gender neutral pronouns, since all the books I've read only use he/she for the third person singular?

i dont think it would be obvious if i DID avoid them since they have other friends and we dont interact much in the first place

i dont want to alienate or "other" them by making it seem like im walking around eggshells around them--- even if i often am.

also, are they even still nonbinary???? they dont correct me when i slip up, so maybe the pronouns they use have changed??? but its probably because they're just a kind person

Hi, friend:)

To start with, I think the easiest thing pronoun wise would be to just use their name as much as possible.

Example:

A - “Who’s that?”

B - “Matthew. We’re friends.”

A - “How long have you known Matthew?”

B - “I’ve known Matthew for three years.”

As for ‘slipping up’ on their pronouns and not knowing whether or not they still identify as non binary, the easiest thing is to just ask.

Truly, you don’t have to worry about upsetting trans people by asking their pronouns. As long as you’re being respectful and don’t ask too personal questions. The classic ‘what’s in your pants’ question would be an example of going too far.

I know that as long as I’m with a safe group of people, not around my unsupportive family, then I’m perfectly okay with telling people my name and pronouns.

Example:

(Me) - Hello, I’m Matthew. My pronouns are he/him.

(My friend) - Hi, my name is Julia. My pronouns are she/her.

It’s really is that easy and as long as you use the name they’ve asked you to use, and you try to say their name and not pronouns as much as possible, it would probably go a lot smoother.

As for the language part, I’m not sure what language you do speak, but I know that this was a problem for one of my friends. They’re Mexican and only speak Spanish at home. There are a few queer organizations working on discovering new ways to say singular they/them in other languages. As for the book part, I’d recommend going to a library or bookstore and just reading a book centering a gender non conforming character. The book will use the singular they for that character so it would be good practice. Also, you used the correct pronouns when typing this so maybe just writing about your friend or even making stories about characters with they/them pronouns can help.

I hope that this was helpful, I’m a binary trans person so I gave the best input I could. If it makes you feel any better, I will say that even as a trans person I mess up on some of my friends pronouns. If I knew them before then I do sometimes mess up. I will say that the name is the easier part, pronouns can be more difficult.

Also, if you have any other questions you could ask here or private message me. Either are fine.

- Matthew(he/him)

[rjschoicesstuff]

for Kai: 6, 10, + 14 for Rex: 25, 26, 31, + 50

from the multigender askgame!! <3

Thank uuu!! (Link to the questions)

Putting most of it under the cut cuz it got long!

Kai:

6. Do they have multiple names? Do they correspond to a specific gender?

No, just Kai!

10. Did they ever officially “come out” as multigender? To everyone at once, or a few people at a time?

I think when she first found out its a Thing as a teen he told some people about it like, wow that's me! But he generally doesn't really feel a need to bring it up. Sometimes she tells people but in general it's more like, people know she uses multiple sets of pronouns, either because she asked them or because they notice others doing it. So ppl vaguely know that way I guess? But he's not really someone who'll sit you down and tell you, he'll give the full Details if you ask for it lol. And ppl she dates she tells cuz it feels Important and she cares a lot more about being understood in that case I guess? Like he doesn't want to be with someone who sees him as just a man or just a woman.

14. Do they prefer masculine (man, male, boy), feminine (woman, female, girl), or neutral (enby, enban, kid, person) terms to be referred to with? A combination? Something else entirely?

Both masc and fem terms! Preferably people use both for her. He doesn't like neutral terms very much. If someone calls him enby he'd correct them cuz that's not how he sees himself.

Rex:

25. Do they know many other multigender people?

I like to think a lot of orcs are similar to her! And genders other than just male and female are not too uncommon for them. I've definitely been thinking about giving her some friends she'd meet in her time living on Flotilla and I wanted at least one of them to be multigender. Idk if they'd necessarily relate much though, because Rex still grew up with different gender roles and stuff.

26. Do they have a community that supports multigender people?

Mostly yes, the whole party has just always known her like this and I think for some it's probably their first time interacting with someone like Rex, but none of them were ever uncomfortably weird about it even if they did ask questions. I think she rly likes that to Imtura it's nothing new, especially with her being an orc there's something validating to her?

In Riverbend Rex was mostly very beloved and people respect her. Though I do think it was jarring for some to see her return and present a lot more feminine than she did when she left. But also that's like the least interesting thing about her now lol.

31. Do they often have to explain what being multigender means, or particular genders they have?

She doesn't really like explaining lol, she will if people ask respectfully, which does happen sometimes. But she won't rly bother for example if someone is weird or rude about it, she's just like 'you dont need to get it to be respectful' like she just doesn't see it as her job to school ppl esp if they dnt seem open to actually learning bc it's just gonna end with her being upset.

50. Wild card! Mention anything else you want!

I think being an orc and her gender stuff r very interwined, that's part of why imagining her as different races is rly hard for me!

I also think having a baby n becoming a mom felt nice to her in a way related to her gender. Like in no way does tht make someone more of a woman but I think she definitely to some degree personally felt like that? Like she's just like oh wow im a MOM. Mb also partly partly because of other women now letting her in on conversations relating to that, I think she always enjoys being included like that. I think it also definitely played a part in why she wasn't really too distressed about just suddenly having a baby unexpectedly. Like Rex knew that all orcs have th same equipment down there and can all give birth (the latter only from that one lore tablet though gdgdg what a way to find out) bbut like the idea just felt so bizarre when it applied to her because anatomy wise she still lumped herself in with humans and she was raised as a boy and looked pretty similar to other boys. So she's still just like weirdly surprised about it all.

I think she never rly looks for ways to affirm her masculinity the way she does for her femininity, but I think that's partly just because she's an orc and just is considered masculine by default outside of Flotilla.

[shepardschildofinfinity]

Sorry if this is a bit long-winded, i tried putting it the comments, but it was too long:

There's actually a conversation about the Doctor's gender in 12s era, between the Doctor and Bill, that suggests they're some form of genderfluid/agender/nonbinary.

And quote from the EDAs novels where the 8th doctor where they say they've " never felt like a man".

Not to mention the interview with Eccleston where he says he tried to play the 9th doctor with a balance of masculine and feminine aspects.

Even if they still use he/him pronouns quite a bit, the doctor does feel removed from human/binary gender.

Please feel free to bug me about finding these quotes later if i get distracted and don't add them after a while!

I can't speak as well for 13, but the quote from her "mummy, daddy, I mean..." which sounds like shes searching for a more neutral word too.

Beyond that, a she comes across as fairly ok being binary woman (with maybe a little nb thrown in there too). Especially in her interactions with humans, or trying to make a point to a misogynistic character/interaction.

But they way the doctor ignores/accepts their gender/pronouns being assumed by people doesnt mean they agree with those assumptions, more so than dont bother to correct people they meet? Like they know most humans are thinking within a gender binary, and they are ok that most humans wont be open minded/likely to understand in certain parts of history.

Rose knows shes not a cis boy, but the narrative doesnt seem to make it very clear that shes nb or questioning before that moment, or at least not as well as it could have. (It also doesnt help that it feels like some of the transness of the narative is undermined by14 switching back to he/him pronouns and typically really masculine expressions/behaviors after that conversation for the remainder of the ep. And that the solution to the metacrisis is framed in a very gender essentialist way too )

I think more adept writing could make it clearer that shes an enby and trans girl, rather than a binary trans girl. Hopefully a cowriter whos nb and trans could help a bit.

Honestly, i need to do a prop write up on my thoughts, but the scene could also could be read as rose figuring out that shes trans and nb? That she is also both, and contains complexity/multitudes.

Also have to write about my reading of how both the doctor and master being nb/genderfluid even by timelord standards too, at some point later.

Also feel free to ask questions/dm too!

I'm not sure if Rose knew she was non-binary before the DoctorDonna memories came back.

She knew she wasn't male, but also mentions at the end finally feeling like herself. So the Doctor's influence, passed down through Donna have been impacting her for her entire existence.

She prioritises neither immediately after that power is released in her and I think that's when she's started being able to tell what is the influence of that power, those unreachable memories and what is her.

She's neither and more, but I think, quite possiblty, she'd have only viewed herself as more, in a 'I've been one transitioned to the other so have a deeper understanding of both' type of way before that.

Now she can be neither because she's not got this unconscious influence pushing her towards the binary now.

Cause yes, the Doctor is intersex. I thought about it and I don't want to say non-binary because the Doctor's changing gender and regeneration as a whole is biological so that fits more with my understanding of what intersex is rather than the identity of non-binary or any of the other ones. (Please Please correct me if my understanding is wrong)

He still tends to follow the binary. How he appears is how he presumes to be. When the Thirteenth Doctor took over, yes there were comments about being male ("come to daddy, no mummy" jumps to mind) but she changed how she was refering and presuming to be to be female. The rest of the time the Doctor has presented and accepted being seen as male.

Rose would have had that influence, unknown and unconscious as it was until she could tell the difference between that and who she is.

Donna admitted it impacted her, made her give away all that money so I don't think making toys and painting a shed to be a TARDIS is the only way it impaced Rose.

I think the non-binary was a release and realisation allowed by an easier differentiation between Rose and the metacrisis.

[mokonamania]

gentle reminder that it is still very much misgendering if you purposefully do not use someone’s pronouns. if someone’s pronouns are he/him and you know this it is misgendering to address him with they/them. if someone’s pronouns are she/her and you know this it is misgendering to address her with it/its. if someone’s pronouns are ze/zir and you know this it is misgendering to address zir with they/them. it is misgendering to purposefully use pronouns that people don’t identify with regardless of gender identity. just because pronouns aren’t gendered doesn’t mean everyone identifies with them. everyone is different so ask what pronouns to use in certain situations if you’re unsure. it never hurts

[redrreign]

god why is gender

[kyoryu]

Sorry if this is this weird to ask but do you know if there is anything generally acepted non binary pronoun in spanish? I have heard "Elle" being used a couple of time but i am not sure if that is correct. Again sorry if this is weird.

as a native speaker i use "elle". putting an "e" behind the gendered words too. i have friends who go by elle specifically!

its called inclusive language (lenguaje inclusivo), its been a thing for a while but it only started being pushed socially around uhhh 2017 or something like that, at least here in argentina. younger groups (like me) have already incorporated "elle" completely into our everyday talk, but older people (and dont get me wrong, some bigots my age as well) get really pissed off about it, a lot like it is with they/them in english. but since in spanish we have every single adjective gendered, we change words to have an "e" a lot, and people think its sooooo funny and original to make fun of it (its not)

personally i still go by ella (she) in spanish, mostly bc i dont care to come out as nb to my parents and also im pretty used to referring to myself with an "a" at the end of a word already (getting used to "e" and having to change back and forth whether im with family or not would be a little annoying)

anyway, hope that explains it a bit! short answer is, we do have a gender neutral alternative. we are working on it :)

[shikiimisaki]

th way my school treats gender is very fucking annoying because its like. okay so for context the area i live is considered 'very progressive' and the school prides itself on 'diversity, inclusivity, respect etc etc etc' however 1. transphobia & other bigotry also is still like 100% common and 2. id hardly call it respect because all it is is like constant walking on eggshells. like to be fucking honest i prefer being casually misgendered in a one off interaction then some of the experiences ive had as someone who appears as At Least Gender Nonconforming, If Not Somehow Trans, therefore the person im talking to immediately feels like they have to juggle 50 introductory stages while being Acceptably Neutral and maybe using my name 7 times per sentence instead of just like, making a guess and rolling with it until corrected like a normal conversation. and i AM nonbinary so like, sure ig they're not wrong however soooooo many of my friends, especially trans friends have expressed some sort of gender nonconformity and instantly been slapped with The Look and suddenly the hesitation the they/them like ooohhh they look different this must be Definition Changing its kinda. like compared to facing actual discrimination or genuinely hateful comments, which I have, I literally can't say its AWFUL cause it's not, but its just like Really annoying. they always ask what your deal is and make a whole show of it, even to cis people, and even in front of other people because 'nobody will judge you here' like damn give me discretion bitch maybe I dont need to have exactly what I am neatly outlined.. I dont really care that much if you can't tell if im a gnc woman or nonbinary but I DO care if you nervously 'just make sure' twice in front of like 5 classmates. also that shit where they ask a group of people whove literally never met to do "names and pronouns ^^" and suddenly youve gotta decide to either come out to this group of strangers or lie on the spot. and tbh all the trans/nb underclassmen I know got a NASTY habit of doing those last two things too

[oyesteryells]

been working on this painting for a few weeks now (its unfinished). every now and then i talk about it with the other ppl in my painting class. i showed it to my friend from a different class (i dont know her super well but she's cool) and she said it gave her Salvador Dali vibes cuz of the background. i found that so interesting because its actually inspired by a Georgia O'Keefe painting. then i got asked about the character so i was explaining my idea: that they're a cyborg pulling out their "intestines" and pulling off part of their face. its supposed to be symbolic of deconstructing your identity and reconstructing yourself as something else. i'd be lying if i said there weren't gender identity undertones. most people have referred to my character as "he", including my friend. i never corrected anyone, but my friend realized i had been using gender-neutral pronouns for them, and she started correcting herself, calling them "they" as i had been. when i started referring to the cyborg like that, it was more subconscious than anything. i mean internally i had always seen them as gender-neutral, even feminine. it somehow felt validating to me to hear my friend pick up on what i was saying so quickly. its so interesting how looking at a piece of art through different perspectives yields different meanings and interpretations in the same way that sometimes we just need a nudge in the right direction to change our preconceived notions about a person.

[mlm-mod-taka]

hello!! im resubmitting the transmasc reader coming out to shuichi and hajime request :00 and dw abt it!! stuff happens :]

COMING OUT • hajime, shuichi x transmasc reader

thank you for understanding! i really dislike inconveniencing people, so ill definitely try my best not to do it again. ill attempt to make up for it with these hcs, even though im not the best at writing for hajime and shuichi. i hope you enjoy these!

tws/cws: mentions of misgendering and dead naming.

|| -> mod taka <3

is worried when you ask to talk to him privately. whatever youre about to say to him, it must be a big deal for you to look so worried and serious at the same time.

"is something wrong s/o? did anything happen?" he'll listen intently as you try to explain to him that youre transmasc, and that you want to go by different pronouns now.

once you finally get it out of your mouth, he just pauses for a second, no emotion on his face. right when youre about to say sorry and that he should just ignore what you said, he goes "so youre my boyfriend now, right?" theres no sign of hostility or agression in his voice.

you think for a second, and nod. "hm, i suppose that would make me bisexual." hajime says again, then he looks up at you, smiling. "thanks for telling me s/o. what pronouns do you want to go by?"

really doesnt cause that much of a hassle when you do come out to him. if youre ready to tell everyone else, then he'll offer to say it to them instead of you so they dont bombard you with questions.

if youre not ready yet, then he'll just nod. he will discretly start using they/them pronouns for you though, hed rather not misgender you and make you uncomfortable because of others.

will cook you food that increases your testosterone and decreases your estrogen! that is, if he could cook. instead just asks teruteru to cook you some eggs since they increase t, and some mushrooms since they decrease estrogen.

will start using traditionally masc ways to compliment you, if youre comfortable with that! will also use gender neutral ways to address you. most likely will call you his lover/partner rather than boyfriend.

corrects people who use the wrong pronouns, and also tell others to stop throwing your deadname around. finds it really annoying that he still hears people use those, so he tries his best to get them to stop doing so.

gets onto the "my partner is trans and thats cool." part of social media, he doesnt know how and he doesnt know why, but he just does. will often send you the photos and memes he finds on that side of the internet.

if he ever does something even remotely offensive or wrong, please correct him! he wont put up an arguement since he knows that he has no say with whats offensive to trans people when hes not trans himself, so he'll immediately apologize and correct whatever he was doing.

honestly, you being transmasc doesnt really effect the way he sees you at all. the only difference is he now sees you as more androgynous and with a different name. he still loves you, inside and out.

probably had a feeling that you werent cis beforehand, but he doesnt comment on it in case hes wrong. once you do come out to him, hes very supportive.

"thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. do you have a new name and new pronouns you want me to use?"

he switches to your new set of pronouns and your name very easily, and never uses your old ones again. his mind probably saw you as androgynous even if you originally identified as a woman, so its not that big of a change.

buys you traditionally masculine clothing you can wear to any formal events, so you dont have to feel gender dysphoria if you ever need to go to one and you only have old gowns.

buys you 7 new binders so you can wear a clean one during every day of the week. also includes those fabric transmasc flags that you can put up on your wall as decoration.

probably identified as lgbtq+ already, so his label most likely didnt change after you came out.

when its june, he asks if you want to go to the biggest pride parade in the area, and just have a small date near it. he wants you to be proud of who you are, so he often asks if you can do things like that together.

probably gives you alot of transmasc colored items. you passed a math test with flying colors once, so he gave you a cake that was colored as the transmasc flag inside as a little surprise.

really likes giving you those kinds of things, he thinks your flag is so pleasing to the eye. therefore, any chance he gets to give you something like that, he takes it immediately.

will send you funny tiktoks involving your identities. you dont know how he finds them, but theyre hilarious so you just want him to keep sending them to you.

hes already quite educated with the problems and the taboo subjects/actions in the trans community, and he definitely knows his boundaries. if he finds something that states that whatever hes doing/thinking is problematic, he instantly gets rid of that part of him with no struggle or second thought.

marks the day that you came out to him so you and him can celebrate it every year. its a big sign of trust and loyalty to him, which is a thing that he thinks should be celebrated.

one of the few times he isnt timid is when someone misgenders or deadnames you. he all of a sudden becomes this serious and stoic character when he heard someone referring to you like that.

is just very happy that you trust him enough to tell him who you really are, and will treasure you forever. loves you either way, because youre still the same person he loves, regardless of your gender.

[honeychilde]

Hello! I saw your non-binary head canons and loved them! If you’re comfortable with it, could you do some for a reader that’s trans? With Xingqiu (If you write for him), Venti, and any other characters you’d like? (´ ω `♡)

𝔗𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔰/𝔬

featuring: venti, kaeya, and razor

warning: none

gender: neutral

authors note: no i don’t write for Xingqiu sorry, he just seems like a character that’d be hard to master😓

He’d still treat you the same way

it’s not your gender he fell inlove with it’s your personality!

if you came out before getting together then telling him, he will still use what you want to be called

100% supportive

if you came out while together, still again would call you the pronouns you want to be called, but will take sometime to adjust

just give him a week or two and he’ll have your pronouns mastered✨

he believes in people’s freedom (he is the god of the city of freedom after all) so he finds that whatever you’d like to be called is your choice and nobody else’s

if faced with a rude person who does not believe in that... he’ll try to educate the person, 1/10 times it’ll work-

the persons still being an absolute nuisance? venti will take your hand and just leave, he is not dealing with that

your not the gender you were assigned at birth?

THATS SO COOL

he will ask a lot and you can’t tell me otherwise, mans just curious

ok ok listen- this man does not care for gender norms

BITCH LOOKS GREAT IN A DRESS

anyways off topic

kaeya would fight anyone that was being mean to you and use his power as the calvary captain to defend you

at first he might take a second more to respond to you because he doesn’t want to accidentally mess up your pronouns

if you came out before dating him, just like venti nothing would change, he still loves you very much🥺

if you came out while dating him? aha SUPPORTIVE wants everyone to know just how amazing you are (unless your not comfortable with it of course)

this boy lives in a forest without having that much human contact for his whole life

he doesn’t know about gender norms, like if a female wants to wear a suit? he doesn’t care, he think she looks amazing!

if you came out before dating him, he’d be like “weren’t you always.. (gender)..?” razor is so cute-

he’d still call you by your preferred pronouns though no matter what, because that’s you!

if you came out while dating him, he’ll ask questions about it (to the best of his ability), and try his absolute hardest to always correct himself if he uses the wrong pronouns

he do be trying dont worry🥺

if faced with a rude person tho? either fights them or leaves with you, he doesn’t like to speak that often so he’ll use actions instead

masterlist|request stuff

[wifeylouis]

i’m so tired of being invaliding as lgbt louie by henries who think that one way of support lgbt is only waving pride flag but i know how working showbis.. why he can only saying loud words in the social media waving flags on the stage and all.. when he see lgbt people face to face he assuming their sexuality and he’s not that educated member who correcting prounonces for not misgenderibg i’m so tired i want to stop crying every day pls can you help me with your story of being in his fandom or how he helped you i want to stop being invaliding, i know he loves me but this shittest fandom never shut up

Hi! I’m so sorry you have been invalidated by some vile, horrible people on the internet sadly they do it to all of us bipoc/lgbt+ louies. but we have seen thru out louis’ career how much he loves, cares for, and respects us and hes grateful for all of us!! he is so, so educated on lgbt+ matters, the way he comforts fans who tell him that he’s helped them come to terms with their sexualities by always telling them to be proud, or everytime he asks a fan for their pronouns or uses the correct adjectives and terms for them, the way he never assumes a fans sexuality, and made a gender neutral album, all the times he praised and supported lgbt+ contestants on txf on their lyrics and their transitioning experiences and the way he was so accepting and supportive of Thomas Pound (he was a rly talented drag queen on louis’ xf team who even spoke abt how louis is one of the most accepting guys hes ever met!!) and the other gnc contestants, ESPECIALLY his support and love for trans and wlw fans is so loud, the jly music video, him attending pride at glastonbury and wearing pride tshirts and pointing at pride flags and holding hands with fans with pride flags between them all of that means SO MUCH to his majority lgbt+ fanbase. let these things comfort you <3 he loves you so, so much!! dont let silly rumours and nasty comments abt him and his fans by jealous, pathetic ppl get to you, louis has gay fans for a reason, if he didnt love and support us, we wldnt be here right now in the massive amount that we are :D