#i appealed it obviously bc wtf something is not right

[vile-wizard]

Just got a medical bill so incredibly bad I'm about to become a statistic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[atenceladusiaawfytbwb]

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣Unflowologing a lot of creators that turned out, I despised them, and or slightly inconvenience me, but mostly that, you know omg🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🔈🔊🔉🔉🔉🔉🔉🔊🔊🔊🔊And I share this because I'm currently hot angry,

and right, ironically and as joke sure, but also seriously, heartfully, I'll share what I think

I myself create a little, somewhere else, and is small, tiny, but I do like what I do and treasure it. Still can't imagine the level of disgust some get to feel against those who don't experience/enjoy/interact a certain way with it. Maybe I've just havent done something myself that I love so much, and put so much work into, that I turn into "ugh you don't have the right - block me if you don't like it not my problem- if you like but don't reblog you are literal thrash - some of you are so entitled to my work - didnt ask for you opinionnsonyou can go f urself and i may have reacted completely different to other interactions like yours positively with the only diference that what was told appealed to my very own perspective but that has nothing to do with the way im being mean and smug to you because the problem is that what you just said is objectively dumb and I cant believe you hadnt guessef id react negatively and that doubles my disgust towards you and i better never hear you enjoy anything made by me because I, a pixel on the web, condemn thy, another pixel on the web to never have acsses to my works publiced here, publicly and freely, on the internet. And you better do as I say, or what? Are that much more of a disgusting person-" Que finding other unrelated stuff (truk6 unrelated like wtf) to add on to why this one (person b/anon/fan/anyone) is very wrong and therefore this other one (person a/creator/anyone) is right, superior even, Que too that if public other people (unrelated too) have to show that much despise towards B or they are disgusting enablers supporters idk

And it is quite specific, I know, but it has happened enough times with different people/situations to be a thing.

Like an anon hey could I (something. Not mean or entitled (no, not related to ai use at all (obviously?))) And oh boy the answer. Oh boy, like: oh so you think that you can (a bunch of awful stuff the one asked got out of their ass bc was nowhere on the ask/comment) the audacity, omg wtf, the nerve- and the revlogs are of other people tagging stuff like ph yeah I can't believe it like the mental problems this annon must have'

I have a decent social understanding, I think? No, there wasn't condescending undertones or something to read between lines, unless you want to, because then you can do that about anything. Giiiirl like ioiiffffffoooofff I got ooooofff wtf fuck is so wrong with them bitch just called them stupid or dumb and move on? A paragraph on why bdjshdhdhdhfhd I can't write anymore idk fucking fuck fuck FUCHCFUCKFU K SGU K SHIT BITCH FUCK

[backseatloversz]

i understand now the appeal to hate on ao3 even having an underage tag.........like sure blah blah it lets ppl avoid content they dont want to see, as opposed to not having warnings for it at all and ppl accidentally stumbling across rly gross stuff. but also consider: why have we just accepted that some ppl write rly gross stuff and, instead of their writing being swiftly taken down, they've been given a space & the argument of "well just hide the tag!!!"

like obviously talking abt what is/isnt ok to write + post can be tricky and is NOT black and white, but i feel like its obvious when someones writing, say, plotless porn abt characters that're a) kids b) from something AIMED at younger audiences and c) often significantly younger than them, for no other reason than its fun to do smth that feels wrong, but has been made acceptable. and then they can get mad at teenagers in the fandom for saying "hey it makes me uncomfortable u think abt characters my age like that wtf" bc "i put minors dni/be warned/the right tags on it so you would avoid it!!!!!" (it, again, being explicit sexual stuff between characters that are KIDS)

ok i feel like im writing in circles. does that make sense

[troublcmvker]

TASK ONE: make a new year’s wish.

I. mun based questions.

question one. i’m always open for pain and evil ideas! i Live for drama and wouldn’t be opposed at all. but i also think it’d be pretty neat to sometimes post a general request? especially if there’s a plot where a bunch of characters would fit and you guys could decide who fits Better! and that way everyone gets a chance to be part of Something. 

question two. i’d probably suffer a lot but i don’t mind the getting hurt. sometimes actions have consequences and they need to Learn. i’d be cool with that in any way tbh, most of my characters are vampires so... eh, they can just re-attach their arms for all i know. same with elijah but as a fellow human, it sucks to suck i guess.

question three. i would probably need to mentally prepare myself first, i’d get back to you on this one someday. 

II. muse based questions. 

ASRA - volturi guard vampire. ( pansexual, homoromantic )

i. i have a hc that during his human years there was one person he’d been in love with. the only being in his entire life he’d felt something for. asra never really confessed bc... times were different and their relationship would have been forbidden; but i imagine they were close friends. ofc, after he became a vampire and found out someone killed his family he went on a killing spree & pretty much everyone in his village paid the price. but he doesn’t know for sure if this person was a victim too. imagine if by some chance ( him not actually killing them and accidentally turning them; or them not being around at the time and being turned later by someone else ) they find their way into seattle... and them and asra meet. asra’s dramatic ass being reminded that he does actually have feelings! 

additional info: would have to be a male aligned korean fc around the same fake age as asra so... early 20s. 

ii. i think finding his singer would be something fun to explore? not in a... romantic sense because i highly doubt he’d even consider that. but more in a how dare you exist and make me feel like a monster for wanting to murder you, kinda way. bc.. he’s not exactly someone that kills for fun, mostly because he has to if he wants to survive ( and he does ); so someone that brings out that... feral? part of him and reminds him that he is, in fact, a killing machine would be fun!

iii. asra is someone that finds humans... very interesting; in the same sense of a zoologist finding animal behaviour interesting. he observes them from afar, never gets too close. what if someone comes so utterly... fascinating ( maybe bc they’re just a trainwreck of a person, or just... so different in the way they act ) that actually makes asra want to see them up close, interact with them or even... gasps care for them? unheard of! 

iv. this one is for my vamps out there. it’d be neat for him to find someone that calls him out on his “i have no feelings” bullshit, and gets close to him enough for asra to actually want to open up to them... long story short a friend someone he truthfully cares about. i see this as mostly platonic but it could be romantic if there’s chemistry.

additional info: they’d have to be male for any sort of romantic relationship to happen

v. maybe someone from their old covens ? i imagine he’d been in two before joining the volturi guard. nothing more than that, just someone, or multiply people ( squad ? ) that knows him from a long time ago and he banters with, or fights with, or maybe has a nice relationship with! 

vi. vampire he’s hooked up with ? most likely during his newborn days tbh, or before he joined the volturi. bc now it’s Serious Business Only. 

additional info: could be any gender.

ALICE - olympic coven vampire. ( pansexual, panromatic )

i. i WOULD LOVE CYNTHIA BRANDON. OR ANY LONG LOST RELATIVE !!! that’d be such a chef’s kiss connection to explore considering she doesn’t remember anything about her human life. if it’s cynthia just imagine her pain of her recognizing her sister but alice having no memories, absolutely nothing in her mind other than a weird feeling of ‘have i seen you before?’ or if it’s a long lost relative... them recognizing alice from really old family pictures and being like ‘isn’t this one of my relatives that disappeared from the asylum? wtf???’

additional info: cynthia brandon/any other relative would have to be at least half korean.

ii. i have a hc that after being turned, as a lost newborn she was found by an extremely nice and welcoming coven that took the time to teach her how to live her new life. i think it’d be cool to either meet her sire or an old coven member again!

iii. when she was just turned alice had no idea what the visions in her mind meant. she had forgotten everything about her life, and had no choice but to start all over again. at first she did everything she could to ignore the images on her head; and focused on simply making the most of this 2nd chance she was given. there was this one other vampire ( could be from that old coven, or just someone else she met ) that seemed to understand her so well. and for alice, someone that had never experienced love before, they were... everything she needed at the time. they helped to shape her into the bright and loving little angel that she is, they were so good to her. but soon enough came this vision, of her surrounded by so much happiness, a loving family and a mate that wasn’t them. a vision she couldn’t ignore. they were good, they understood, in fact they were the ones that encouraged her to seek for them, because it’s what she deserved. and so... she left in order to find her destiny. what if alice and this vampire met again? ( obviously alice loves jasper more than anything and she’s 100% sure he’s her soulmate but... mayb the pain :^) or just that Good Good loving and purely platonic relationship !!! )

additional info: could be any gender!

iv. humans/other vampires/cotm she’s blessed with her fashion knowledge as a fashion consultant ?? idk ! friends !! 

GARRETT - nomad vampire. ( pansexual, demiromantic )

i. this dude’s been alive since mid 1700s. always involved in american wars! i feel like in one of them, when there was someome that truly needed it. he turned a fellow soldier to make sure they come back from war. he thought them the basics, helped them through the bloodlust. what happened after they come back from the war is utp. but garrett is their sire. maybe they resent him, maybe they’re grateful. all there is to know is that they’re alive thanks to him.

ii. he’s quite the adventurer so... maybe vampires he’s met through the years on his expeditions? could be friends, could dislike eachother.

iii. i imagine at some point during his long life there had to be someone he was extremely close to. someone that could have been his mate, but for any reason they didn’t quite get there. maybe because at the time one of them ( most likely garrett tbh ) wasn’t willing to settle down, or maybe their feelings weren’t deep enough for that. but they worked well together in any other way. they could have drifted apart, moved along on good terms, or on bad terms. but seattle becomes the city they once again collide in.

additional info: could be any gender!

iv. the idea of a coven... wasn’t the most appealing for a free spirit like garrett. but it wasn’t something he had completely ruled out. maybe there was a time he was a part of one, or got really close to. they come to seattle and find him here, still a nomad, as free as ever. could be fun to explore!

v. this seems like a crackhead plot but hear me out... a human completely oblivious about the existence of supernatural beings. obsessed with american history. finding a similar looking guy in every single picture from all the american wars there have been since cameras were invented. and oh my god? does that tall dude in the library looks exactly like the dude in the pictures too? what the hell is going on? am i on x files?

ELIJAH - human. ( pansexual, demiromantic )

i. any possible platonic relationship you could imagine! childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, training/cop/detective friends ?? legit ANYTHING. i’m always sipping that ‘i love platonic connections’ juice

ii. this one connection is important. but basically... elijah gained his status by making the Right Connections. but there was someone above everyone else that helped along the way. they were together pretty much since they both started college, and they had everything elijah wished to have growing up. their relationship was mostly physical, their feelings for eachother weren’t that deep and they were both aware of that. elijah would get the exposure/connections he wanted; and they’d get the excellent academic status that came with elijah. but the fact that they were pretty much the reason why elijah got the chance to make those connections made them think they held some sort of power above him. and since elijah still wasn’t in a place where he could just let everything crumble down, he’d comply and do as they said. this relationship was toxic, there was no love between them at all. and it was bound to end at some point. there were some nice moments, not including the amazing sex, that would make elijah consider the possibility of a future together; but the bad moments would always make him go right back to his senses. if anything elijah is thankful for them, but he’s also extremely grateful that things ended without any of them hurting the other more than they already had.

additional info: could be any gender!

iii. past hookups ? exes ? there could be lingering feelings from their part.. or not. they could be bitter, or ended up in good terms! ( he’s married, in love AND faithful so it wouldn’t really be anything more tbh )

[cs-discourse]

here we go

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179953845684/uuuuwuu-every1-whos-concerned-abt-biased-judging

ok this attitude has been pissing me off long enough that it's time for one of my Big Ole Posts (tm) about how shitty this is! thanks. 

uuuuwuu every1 whos concerned abt biased judging in comps is just soooow entitled !!!1 i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11 bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1 also my last braincell just died pleas h

so here's the og post in question for quick reference

i honestly have no idea why people keep bringing up this idea of bias in judging competitions because, while i do think there is a type of bias that certainly exists, i think a lot of so-called "bias" that people have is ... not whatsoever like what people think it is lol. artists are people and there's always going to be SOME kind of bias no matter what you do, because it's literally fuckin impossible to NOT be biased. by that i mean:

your taste in plots/types of characters/medias influence your judging

quality of writing or art can influence your judging

the person who's applying for the adopt you may have previous judgement about

even if you say you aren't biased, you STILL have preferences and tastes in things that you prefer more than others, which in of itself is a kind of bias

people who know you (friends for example) will naturally know what your taste is. 

a competition is judged based on what form the artist thinks is best, right? 

NEWSFLASH EVERYONE'S IDEA OF "WHAT'S BEST" IS DIFFERENT FROM PERSON TO PERSON ..... "BEST" is literally the most subjective thing there is, and while i agree that there are certain aspects of art and writing that you can use as objective measurements of tangible skill, it's... still subjective. what people think is "best" will vary from person to person because we all have different tastes. so, essentially, this boils down to the idea that the winner of an adopt competition will ALWAYS be the form the artist liked best, because that is what the artist perceives as best. so like. when people appear biased in adopt competitions towards friends or certain circles, it's probably because they're literally friends because they have similar tastes in things, and therefore the form the artist likes best is naturally going to be from someone who shares similar tastes. 

so whenever i hear about """bias""" in competitions i just kind of roll my eyes tbqh because it's usually followed by complaints of "BUT I PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT" or "I WROTE SO MUCH MORE THAN THE WINNER" uhhhh. if adopt contests were won by effort alone it wouldn't be a contest, it'd be an endurance test lol. literally just "who has the most time to waste writing out 60000k words of absolute meaningless fluff"... because, i hate to break it to you, but ANYONE can write 5000 words of mindless drivel that has literally no substance to it. 

now in caps for emphasis. takes a deep breath

THERE IS NO SKILL NEEDED TO BLOAT YOUR WORD COUNT. 

YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW TO WRITE WELL TO WRITE 5000 WORDS.

YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TYPE AND PUT SENTENCES TOGETHER.

quality > quantity, always. like, i'm sorry you put in so many hours of effort but, those people who win with MUCH smaller wordcounts... did they not work to get as good as they did with writing? you put in 5 hours into one tryout. but others, take me for example: i have been writing for over 10 bloody years. i've worked hard to improve my writing, so you can't tell me i "didn't put in as much effort" as you because i did. i put in YEARS of work to get better so doing simple things would take me LESS time now. inb4 IT'S UNFAIR! dude, the literal definition of a contest is for the best to win. it wouldn't be a contest if it wasn't like that lol. it'd just be charity. what you should be doing instead of complaining about it is ASKING FOR CRIT and WORKING TO IMPROVE like a good sport? i get that it's discouraging but you should be prepared to lose when you join a contest. it's valid to be upset about but the moment you say you deserve it more than others JUST because of your effort, then i have a problem. 

and you know, there's gonna be times where i think a comp winner is objectively less skilled than other tryouts. honestly i just kind of shrug that off on account of different taste lol. sometimes that's just how it be, bc of those predetermined biases i mentioned before, and maybe a judge and i are just in completely stages of life so what i call quality might not appeal to the judge. that's also fine. anyway this really got off on a tangent but i'm leaving it in bc i think it needs saying. back to the og post

 > i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11

wtf didn't i address this in a different post

here let me link it for you

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179841459154/post179838988303-the-difference-is-that-you-have

which was replying to this: https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179838988303/179837734509-idk-anon-i-kinda-agree-with-the

i said it once but i'll say it again: artist entries aren't main adopts lol. people don't work for artist entries. all you fucking do is post on one like "can i have this pls" .. there is... no effort put into that lol. main adopts you WORK for. it's a CONTEST. claiming an artist entry is NOT a contest. if a bunch of little nasty gremlins come running up to me like a hungry horde trying to be the first one to claim my design, i think giving friends first pick is COMPLETELY FINE, BECAUSE WHAT DID ANYONE ELSE DO TO "DESERVE" THAT DESIGN? nothing. you did. nothing. you're literally coming here with this attitude that NOT GIVING THINGS AWAY TO STRANGERS FOR FREE SOMEHOW EQUALS BIAS? i literally do not understand your logic whatsoever. like. i'm trying really fucking hard. at least with main adopts the "payment" is the effort you put in trying to answer the artist's prompt. i know i sound super dumb repeating myself but i don't know how much simpler i can make this concept tbh

and this is EXACTLY why i say ya'll are fucking entitled because merc and any of the kal artists could be making REAL $$$$ selling their own designs and adoptables and art and NOT deal with all the bs ya'll throw at them. they're literally here because the ENJOY MAKING ((( FREE ))) CONTENT for you, and they're not obligated to do this. they can stop whenever they want. if you had to pay per hour for the length of time collectively worked by ANY species artist staff, the lot of you would be fucking broke. i'm actually constantly shocked that species artists work like, 8 hours or more on some of these gorgeous designs just to give them away for free in a contest. 

so, yeah, as someone who hasn't spent my entire life on CS (i've only been here for a year and a half), ya'll seem pretty fucking entitled to me lol. the world outside CS rarely gives out such gorgeous designs in write-to-adopt contests so i'm honestly baffled at the amount of bloody entitlement i see

>bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1 

this part i don't actually understand what you mean. do you mean they... help judge other comps? or like, enter them? i don't get what you mean by "weigh in" but listen, lol. just because something DOES happen doesn't mean it gives you a good reason to assume the worst. i mean... of course it happens. it's statistically impossible for skewed contests and bias to NOT happen, because there's always going to be cases of it happening. but like, what proof do you have that merc will be biased lol? like, real proof? because your main point i've basically debunked and don't believe in at all. do better than "i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11" because this doesn't make any sense to me for the reasons i already listed above lmao. if artist entries were supposed to be contests they'd be contests. what the hell makes you important enough to get first dibs on a stranger's work. ARTIST ENTRIES AREN'T EVEN MADE TO BE GIVEN AWAY, THEY'RE MADE AS ARTIST ENTRIES.... LIKE.... JESUS i struggle to understand ya'll

anyway im done here, if you wanna actually talk and debate this hmu on discord at lysander#9229 bc if you actually talk to me instead of spew this hot mess on the blog i might actually listen to you and change my mind and be nice about it instead of being a condescending bitch. 

wait one more thing

>also my last braincell just died pleas h

yea clearly

p.s., why do you ppl keep going to the blog to give critique on merc's designs when on literally every other design merc makes there's this:

https://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=3950980

here i even linked it for you. idk why it's so hard for yall to give constructive crit like decent human beings

[xampomi]

Exes & Angels | jjk

• genre: high school au | romance | mystery

• pairing: ex!jungkook x y/n

• warnings: jungkook's not using underwear (there's a reasonable reason for that); ¿maybe jimin has a crush on Jungkook¿ ; trust issues; I dunno

• summary: jungkook’s rambling

Jungkook was having a shitty day so far.

First, he forgot to wash his underwear in the weekend, so he just decided to go commando today bcs wtf was he gonna do at 6 in the morning?? Then, when running to class, he bumped into some weird guy.

"wtf man. Wanna fight?", the little guy said.

For a moment, Jungkook stopped dead in his tracks because he though he saw some fucking sparkling halo above boy's head. But Jungkook didn't sleep much that night anyway so.

"N-not now. Sorry. I'm running late.", which was technically true. The thing is Jungkook didn't care. And he didn't really wait for the sparkling guy's answer.

As soon as Jungkook entered the class he sat at his regular seat, the window's view being extremely appealing to him.

As all of us can imagine, Jungkook was a smart kid but he didnt really care since he knew he was also extremely hot. That thought came to his mind numerous times. He knew that he should probably quit high school and become a stripper. He was definitely done with this shit. In addition, that would bring a lot of fast easy money.

"Fuck, i forgot about breakfast.", he remembered, thanks to his body's noises. Then he try listening to class but that didn't worked that well for him since he has tendency to zone out real easily.

However, two knocks in the classroom's door echoed through Jungkook's ears and for some reason he was suddenly attentive to what was happening in the real world.

Soon after the knocking was heard, the teacher stood there like some earthquake emergency, in which he should tell the students to keep calm, keep calm but if you wanna come back to your mama, walk quickly.

Then he woke up. "Come in".

When the door opened, a dark-haired girl appeared She quickly smiled to the teacher as she entered the room. "Good morning. Sorry to interrupt your class", she said in a low, innocent voice, although something on him told him that she didn't really care about his class. But he was no more interested in what was happening so he just dropped his head again on the table.

"Don't worry. What do you need, y/n?", he couldn't see what was happening but Jungkook knew that the teacher's teeth were about to fall down if he kept smiling like that to the girl.

"Could I borrow... Jung Jungkook? He's from this class, right? Mr. Robert wants to talk to him", y/n kindly asked.

Something was wrong. Everyone knew Robert was done having conversations with Jungkook since what happened in the canteen 2 months ago. Or perhaps he decided to finally let that go of that. He hoped so. He didn't wanted to talk about that again. Besides, Namjoon deserved it.

Maybe this time Mr. Robert wants to finally have a real conversation. Maybe about last week's fire alarm's break out.

Oh well.

"Ah!", the teacher dropped too happily. Then he seemed kinda regretful. Yeah. Hide the excitement, you bastard. "Go talk to the principal, Jeon."

"Oh no, I can't What about your class? I was so excited about hearing about the... effect of.... molecular evidence on....the classification of...hm... organisms.", I said already reaching for the door. I don't know if you noticed but I was being extremely sarcastic.

"Ooooh, don't worry.", yeah, he prolonged that "oh" like that. He was also being sarcastic but I know that deep inside he would miss me. Everyone those.

"You know I always open an exception for you every time you need to do things outside my class, Jeon. C'mon. Go talk to the principal." He pointed to the door in a very nonsarcastic way.

"I will come back for you.", I didn't really said this. But it would be funny. Because I would never come back.

Now in the corridor, Jungkook felt real freedom. He could finally go home, eat pancakes and dress some sweatpants or something that wouldn't make his dick itchy.

"Ya. Where do you think you're going?"

Shit.

"You know I'm really grateful that you let me out of there. Seriously." He made a dramatic pause. Then he decided to push him hair back and for a second, he though he saw her rolling her brown dark eyes. "But we broke up, y/n. You need to find yourself another man."

For a moment she looked kinda offended. Then remember she had more important things to discuss with him.

"lol that's what's i've been trying to do. I though it was pretty obvious I was trying to seduce Jimin. I mean, he's cute as hell. He just.... he doesn't look normal, okay? And not the "He's-just-too-good-to-be-true"type. I mean, it's obvious that a man like him could never be compared as a simple human. Have you ever had a good look at him? He's a God. He's just beautiful and kind, and talented,and sooo funny. Absolutely boyfriend material,ya know. And his buttcheks?? I could never think of a better--"

"Okay, okay. I get it. And?"

"He isn't normal, jungkook."

"As you've been telling me."

"He seriously isn't normal."

"Who is?", I smirked. "Just tell me who this Jimin guy is already bcs i think I've never heard of him."

She frozed a little. Then she slowly approached him.

"Buy you saw him, right? I know you did. I saw you this morning with him. That's why I came to you.", she had her eyes real open by now. "You're the living prove that I'm not crazy. You're the only one who always believes in me, right?"

Jungkook took a good at her. She no more looked like the shy, innocent girl that came for him in the middle of class. Sure, she still looked like the typical social butterfly. She was always the type of person that just loved to befriend people here and there. Now she just looked kinda exhausted. Still beautiful, but exhausted.

So yeah, jungkook was fricking out a little bit. Something was wrong with her. He needed to calm her down, so he could go home.

Then she suddenly went closer to him, her voice quieter than before. "I also need to tell you about the weirdest part, BUT you need to promise me to keep secret. Promise me."

"Okay, go on."

"I'm serious, kookie. "

"Don't call me that. I told you before, right?"

"Do it."

"I, Jeon Jungkook, promise that I will never tell whatever you're about to tell me."

"I think I killed him."

Jungkook frozed. For some reason his vision started getting blurry. He didn't eat anything since yesterday. He needed to eat.

"Sorry. Can you repeat that?"

"It was an accident, Jungkook. An accident." Her face has becomed red, her eyes watery and her body shaky. "C'mon. If you don't believe in me, who will?".

"But I talked to him this morning. He's not dead, y/n"

"He really is."

"That's so fucking impossible, y/n." He pushed his hair back, but not in a seductive way anymore. "You can only be lying to me rn. What the fuck happened?"

She avoid jungkook's eyes. "I don't know! One minute we were just making out inside the school depository and next one, he--"

Jungkook hoped he wouldnt regret his next words.

"Prove it."

"You still won't believe me, do you?"

"Y/n. Where's the body?"

"If I show it to you right now....will you believe in me? Will you promise to believe forever in me?"

Jungkook looked around. He was not in the right mood to see a dead body rn. But It was 14pm and for some reason he saw no one.

He should probably come back to class anyway.

"The body is still in there here, ya know."

"What?"

"Don't worry. Obviously is hidden under some blankets I found in there. I can show it to you."

"Did you call the policy?"

Now she frozen on her feet. "No, ofc not. I can't go to jail. I can't. Please believe in me, Kookie. We could just go. As we talked about bef-"

Jungkook should definitely become a stripper after this. But for now, he needed to call someone. However, the phone was inside the classroom. He couldn't call the police without a crime. He needed to see for himself. Yeah, played with fire alarms but dont fucking mess with 911.

If that boy really was dead, y/n needed to be arrested. That's the truth. He will eventually need to discuss it with her. Just not now.

"Let's go, then", he finally decides.

"Yey", she said but not that excited - she even seemed a little disappointed?? - but took his arm between hers anyway and guided him from corridor to corridor.

When they first arrived the depository's door, Jungkook was expecting to her to free his arm but she didn't. She wasn't stopped trembling. She killed a man and can't stop shaking wtf. She was afraid. Well, Jungkook was the one who should be afraid. I mean she had a lot of time to get accustomed to the cadaver. But more than that, Jungkook was hungry. Poor Jungkook.

The next moment,he saw y/n taking from her pocket a metal key. How did she get that? The innocent shy girl who could never lie to anyone, was no more a good girl.

She unlocked the door. "You'll believe in me now, Kook." And they stepped inside.

"It's too dark", he said.

"I know, dummy. I'll search for the switch."

The light went on but he still couldnt see anything.

"Where the fuck is the body? Are you lying to me again?"

"What do you mean? He's right there. Look.", she started pointing weirdly to the floor in front of them. She looked mad. Almost like there was something there that only her could see.

'Y/n. Where's the body. I'm serious now."

"Right here, Kok. Come closer."

He did. He did come a little closer.

"I would never lie to you. He's right there. Right there."

Still searching for something , Jungkook collapsed on the floor after the strong sting he felt in his neck.

2/7.

[parkjmini]

dangerous waters (m) | pkjm

fratboy!jimin smut a sleazy fratboy thinks he could get any girl he wants, until he meets you word count: 2774 genre: smut SMUT!! SMUT!! S MU T  warning: sleazy jimin, dom!jimin, explicit language, oral

[a/n]: you’ve been warned!!! this is mature content read at own risk !! this is my FIRST smut EVER !! i apologize in advance if its super bad and super cringe like i have no idea wtf i was doing, i just wrote and props to ppl who write smut bc that shit is hard 

You had a huge biochemistry lab the next morning, a calculus test right after, and a literature lecture after bunch. Instead of studying for your classes and sleeping early, you were at some random fraternity party that your friend, Hoseok, dragged you to.

Parties weren’t ever really your scene. You were, a lack for a better term, a goody two shoes. You enjoyed staying in and reading. Cafes, libraries, and parks were your favorite places. You were an overall excellent student, almost top of the class with outstanding remarks. You studied whenever you had the chance to, it was the only way you were able to keep up with classes.

You weren’t completely cookie cutter though. Occasionally, you went to parties when workload was minimal and you didn’t despise frats/sororities. Some of your friends were in sororities and you usually went to their parties, not anyone you were unfamiliar with.

However, Hoseok begged you to join him at the campus’ most popular fraternity’s party. That specific frat had the cutest, hottest boys. They maintained the highest number of hook ups in one night and parties in one week. You avoided them at all cost because even though they were attractive, they were all assholes. 

Their parties were usually majority guys and a sprinkle of girls. You were extremely hesitant, but Hoseok wouldn’t stop messing up your lecture notes until you gave in.

“Geez, Hoseok. There are literally no girls here.” You whispered as you made your way to the kitchen. His laugh was barely audible over the heavy music they were playing. 

“They’re probably all upstairs..” He paused and pointed to the closed rooms. “In the rooms.” 

“That’s so gross.” You rolled your eyes and poured yourself a drink. Their fruit punch was spiked and you almost puked at the first sip. “This is gross.”

“Your tongue becomes numb after a few more sips.” Hoseok’s head darted towards the door. A small group of girls from the sorority down the street had entered. “Enjoy yourself, (Y/N).” He smirked before heading towards them.

“Hoseok---” It was too late. You lost your only friend to the crowd. Glancing around, you noticed that people were either drinking, smoking, or dancing. You weren’t really into any of that. You were regretting your decision of showing up.

Suddenly, an arm wrapped around your waist and spun you around. Your back was up against the side of the island in the kitchen. “Hey baby, I’ve never see you before. Is this your first time here?”

His brown eyes were eating you up as he scanned you from head to toe. You pulled the ends of your short dress down, trying to over up as much as your thighs as possible. “Yeah.” You mumbled.

He had a broad chest and his thighs were suffocating in his tight black pants. His arms were defined and bulged out of his white short sleeve. His hot body was pressed against yours and you tried to wiggle out of the tight space.

“I’m Jungkook.” He smiled. 

“And I’m leaving.” You lightly shoved him enough to get his body off of yours. 

“Oh, we’ll have fun. I promise.” His forearm trapped you to the island again. 

“You’re trying so hard, Kook.” Another boy laughed as he walked over and shoved Jungkook’s shoulder. He had fluffy black hair and soft cheeks. He was a little shorter than Jungkook, but shared the same thick thighs.

“Let’s see if you can get this one to budge, Jimin.” Jungkook chucked and walked off.

“How about you and I go somewhere quieter?” Jimin had the sexiest gaze. Something about him reeked of sex appeal. You had self control, however, and shook your head. “A beautiful girl like you shouldn’t be alone at a party like this.”

“You’re right. I should go. I have a lot of studying to do.” You scoffed. At this point, you didn’t care that you sounded like a complete loser. You just wanted to stop all these thirsty boys from mentally undressing you.

“Oh, you’re one of Dorm J girls.” Jimin smirked. How did he know what dorm section you lived in? “You girls are always the hardest to crack.” 

“What?” You almost choked as he ran his hand through his hair.

“How did you find yourself here, baby? They’re rarely ever at one of our parties. Did you come with a friend or did you lose yourself on the way to the study hall?” He was slowly getting on your nerves.

You crossed your arms and tilted your head, adding a little sass to your movements. “I don’t know what stigma your frat or you have against us, but we aren’t just nerds who study all night.” That was ultimately a lie. You knew if you weren’t here, you would be studying.

“Did I offend you? You girls are usually very easily riled up. Did you not do well on a test today?” You weren’t sure what bothered you more, the horrible smirk on his face or the sarcasm in his words.

“You’re a no good frat boy who parties all night and probably got in to college because you have money. Sorry that I’m actually smart enough to get in without daddy’s money.” You rolled your eyes the hundredth time that night. Your heart sank as you saw a curious eyebrow raise. He smiled and nodded knowingly.

“I like the way daddy rolls off of your tongue. That was vulgar, Dorm J. You were really looking to hurt me, weren’t you? How many more vulgar words can I get you to say to me?” He chuckled menacingly. You gasped, not expecting his type of response. A light pink dance across your cheeks as you could no longer put up your front.

“I-I have a name.” You stuttered, your nervousness getting the best of you.

His face brightened up at how small your voice had become, “I do too and I’d love to hear you moan it all night.” 

You cleared your throat at his foul language. You weren’t having any of it. If he said one more thing to you, you’d get too weak in the knees to even stand correctly. You weren’t sure what made him so charming and alluring. It might’ve been the way he was staring at you with his lust filled eyes or how he licked his plumped lips after he sipped his drink.

“Red is a nice color on you, babygirl.” His voice turned raspy and low. He was teasing your natural blush and your hands immediately cupped your cheeks.

“I’m not your babygirl or your baby. You don’t get to refer to me as Dorm J because I fit the stereotype you’ve created. My name is (Y/N) and I’d appreciate it if you treated me like a decent human being rather than a piece of meat.” 

“(Y/N).” Jimin had to say it in the most seductive way. Your heart quicken at how much you loved hearing him say it. “What a pretty name. I’m Jimin. You’re really hot when you yell at me. Were you a part of a debate team?” You were.

“M-Maybe. Why?” Your eyebrows knitted.

“Because... so was the last girl I hooked up with from Dorm J.” He snickered. You crossed your arms and began walking away.

He grabbed onto your elbow and lightly pushed you back against the counter. “Oh, (Y/N), take a joke.” 

“It wasn’t funny.” You grumbled, melting at his touch. 

“You know what is though?” 

You blinked up at his gorgeous face, his plump lips twitched into his signature smirk, “what?”

“That you were still talking to me. You obviously have interest in me too, baby, or you would’ve pushed me off like how you did to Jungkook.”

You gulped. You didn’t think he was that observant. A huge part of you wanted to give up and kiss him already, but the small voice in your head knew he was dangerous waters.

“Why don’t you go talk to some other girls? I’m boring Dorm J and I’m being difficult anyways.” You thought maybe he’ll actually back off this time. You were talking him to his senses.

He merely shook his head, his hands gripped your waist and pulled you closer to his pelvis. “You don’t understand, do you? I like a challenge. I want you. I can tell by the way your eyes keep darting that you want me too, so go ahead, (Y/N). Just kiss me. Show me what a good girl can do.”

His words were so convincing and you can no longer hold in the heat at the pit of your stomach. You dove in, attacking his lips passionately. Your hands were holding his small face as you devoured him.

His hands were eagerly pulling your waist closer towards him, trying to find any friction. You placed your hand on his chest when you felt his tongue enter your mouth. Pulling away, you ducked your head out of embarrassment.

“Let’s go somewhere more private, okay?” He picked up your chin, lovingly. His eyes were incredibly thirsting over you. Jimin lead you upstairs to an empty room. He locked the door and walked towards you.

“I barely even know your name..” You were beginning to doubt yourself, trying to find the small voice to save you.

“You’ll be very familiar with my name by the end of tonight. I won’t let you forget it.” He gently pushed you against the door. Distracting you with a kiss, his hand traveled down to slid your dress up your thighs.

He pushed the tight fabric up until it rested on your hips. He rubbed you through your cotton panties, causing you to squeal a little. His kiss drank up your inaudible noises. Your hands held onto his wrist when you started to feel yourself get wet. You hated how easily your body reacted to his touch.

“Let’s see how wet you really are.” He smirked and kneel down in front of you. His face directly facing your panties. You bit your lip, driving him crazy as you watched him slide your underwear off your hips. 

You were soaked, a string of your lubrication detached from the cloth as he pulled them down. A low growl came from the back of Jimin’s throat as he saw your pussy aching to be touched. “Fuck, baby. If I knew you were this wet, I would’ve brought you up sooner.”

He waited though, trying to see how much longer he could drag the anticipation. Jimin placed your leg over his shoulder and his face came close to your exposed flower. His hot breath panted over your clit as you groaned for him to do something, anything.

“What’s my name?” He asked, innocently. His big eyes waiting for your answer. Jimin ruined you before he actually touched you. You were like pudding in his arms and his sensual expressions killed you.

You licked your lips, and barely made out, “Jimin.” 

He pulled your skin taunt toward your waist and you shuddered a little. “The music’s too loud, I don’t think I heard you. Come again?” He teased. Jimin saw how desperate you wanted him. Your cheeks were flushed and your mouth was slightly gaped open. You stared down at him with hooded eyes and your hand had to grip onto the door handle.

You looked so hot and bothered, it took a lot of self control for him not to shove his face into you. “Jimin.” You said louder.

“What a good girl.” He mocked you, but you didn’t have enough strength to argue back. His tongue licked your clit once. Your body shook and he had to use his free hand to push your waist into the door. He repeated his motion, licking and sucking at your sensitive bud. 

The sensations drove you insane. Your clit was more exposed due to the fact that Jimin was pulling your skin taunt --- a tighter feeling. Your hips fought against the pressure of his hand and slowly grind more into his face.

He was watching you unfold right under his tongue. He moaned at the feeling of your hips greedy for more of him. He started to insert two of his fingers, curling up into you instantly.

“Jimin!” You gasped, the feeling at the pit of your stomach building. You pushed his head up into you more and his fingers quicken, pounding and curling inside of you. 

The more he continued, the closer you were to your high. Your eyes were shut at this point, ready to release yourself. However, Jimin wasn’t going to let you cum that easily. 

He removed his fingers and got up. His chin was covered in your lubrication and he shoved his fingers into your mouth, making you taste yourself. “Don’t you taste good, babygirl? Much better than that fruit punch downstairs.”

Jimin pushed you onto the full sized bed that sat in the middle of the room. He forced your legs open with his knee and settled between your legs again.

“Please, Jimin. Just let me cum.” You whined. A spark shined in his dark eyes and he kissed your inner thighs.

“Maybe. I mean you were being very difficult with me earlier. I don’t know if you deserve it.” He pouted and he held your legs further apart. You whimpered at his actions. “I love your little sounds, baby. Why don’t you call my name louder, so Jungkook can hear you downstairs.”

His tongue slipped into your dripping hole. “Fuck! Jimin!” You moaned and arched your back into the mattress. Jimin knew how to catch you off guard. His warm tongue drove you hysterical, causing your nails to dig into the sheets.

He savagely ate you out, as if he was starving. Jimin was excellent with his tongue, he knew how to work it. The thing pushing you to your edge were his stares though. He never broke eye contact when his face was bury into your pussy.

His orbs were dark and sexy, silently observing how he got you all worked up. His groans mixed with your airy gasps and the room grew hotter with every passing minute. He licked you up and down, flicking quickly at your throbbing clit. 

Jimin’s fit his fingertips into your hole, only allowing you to feel just enough. He pulled them all the way out, then aggressively back in. He repeated this motion, along with his rapid licks. “Uh, shit. Babygirl, you’re so wet for me.”

“I’m so-- close.” You exhaled sharply, your body shuddering at your approaching climax. At your warning, Jimin’s arms hook under your thighs and pulled you closer to his face. His nose was pressed up against your skin as you felt every hard, desperate lick. His hooded eyes watched your crumbling figure in front of him --- a new scene he couldn’t get enough of. 

“Cum, baby, ride my face. Let me taste how good you are.” Jimin chanted on and your hips shamelessly grind against his warm muscle. 

“I’m cumming, Jimin! Oh my--!” A beam of white blurred your mind as the intense pleasure began to rip through you. 

Your eyes were beginning to flutter shut, but he wasn’t going to allow that. “Look at me when you cum.” 

“Oh fuck.” You looked down at him, his face being squeezed between your shaking thighs. The sensations of his moving tongue rippled up your system and his brown eyes made you cum hard. 

You pulsated against him, your heat unraveling from a tight ball in your abdomen. The feeling of ecstasy and release exploded throughout your body, making it practically unbearable. You’ve never felt an orgasm that intense.

Jimin helped you ride out your high, until you absolutely couldn’t take the sensitivity anymore. He grabbed a napkin and wiped you up gently, an act that fluttered your heart a bit.

“That was fucking hot, I’ll admit.” He chuckled beautifully as he handed you your panties. Your eyes landed on the obvious tent in his pants and you cleared your throat.

“I guess I’ll get going now. I’ve got a lot of studying to do, right?” You taunted and pulled down your dress. Jimin let out another chuckle at your ridiculous attempt to mock him. 

However, you wanted to see him again and hoped that this ploy will get him to want to see you again as well. The dominance shifted, the tables have turned. 

“You owe me big time, Dorm J.” He groaned, a little mixture of sexual frustration and confusion. You seductively waved goodbye before joining the rowdy party again, leaving a rather flustered, yet aroused Jimin untouched. 

[a/n]: ok but forreal tho that gif is just so fitting w this im dying i love that gif || 

next part --> power trip

[heartholds]

jan 31 2017 // 

ok so i think we all know that this ridiculous blue website is shitty and has passed its prime BUT i used to use this as such a journal-y space and just shoot my thoughts out to people all the time, and i miss that!! i’m really lacking in that kind of space right now, because i’ve been trying pen-to-paper journal writing for the last year or so and it just... does not work for me. i’m obsessive about my handwriting and i can’t write as fast as i think, so it never really translates or feels properly satisfying. so i want to return to that digital journaling a bit & see if that helps me!!! (i don’t necessarily like the idea of all the people i know being able to see this, but they’re mostly people from high school anyway and also it just feels better to know that maybe one person other than me will see what i’m thinkin and feelin, ya know?) (also: i’m thinking about starting a proper Blog, but i don’t know how and i also am not sure anyone wants to hear what i have to say. or that i really have anything at all to say. so... that is maybe In The Works?) 

anyway. long rambly life stuff -- 

so i’m in a really transitional space in my life right now. i just graduated college, which is so bizarre and scary, and feels really kind of isolating, because while a lot of people i know are out of school too, most of my close friends aren’t. it’s strange though because i feel so weirdly separated from that life already. like, i can’t imagine waking up tomorrow and having to go to class. i think i would be like, “no.” i don’t know. it feels good to have “freedom,” although it isn’t that huge of a change because, going to school in the middle of manhattan, i’ve felt like an adult really since my freshman year, and especially since i moved out of the dorms. i guess it’s mostly weird how little it feels like my world has shifted, but how oddly uncomfortable i am right now anyway. 

i think part of it has to do with the fact that i’m not entirely sure what i want to do with my life?? or i guess, i know what i want the end result to be, but i don’t feel at all qualified enough to know how to get to that place. and maybe i’m not even sure what that place is. i really just!!! don’t!!! know!!!! i’d been thinking for most of college that i wanted to be an actor, and audition, and work in that field, and i think that’s still true, but there’s just so much relying on other people involved in that, and so much waiting around. that doesn’t appeal to me. the people that i admire are women that are crafting for themselves a sort of brand, their own type of career, their own image, their own influence. i want to do that, and i don’t necessarily feel like JUST acting is the way to do it anymore.

i’ve been thinking about writing a lot more lately than i have been thinking about acting, and over this past summer and fall i wrote and produced a web series that i love and i’m pretty proud of (check it out @lifeordeathbasically on instagram & fb) & i really want that to turn into something, or to have the opportunity to continue it. but i feel like it would be difficult to get the cast together again for a season two (esp since some of them might be moving to LA soon) and i feel like it’s been too long since i’ve written any of it to know how to continue. but i think that’s just probably an excuse/resistance to going deeper into it, and i should probably try to outline an episode or something. but for some reason that just feels like it would be so hard. i don’t know why. but i love and miss those characters a lot actually!!!!!

i got a cool day job that i like a lot so far at this tiny local coffee/juice/healthy food place, and even though the shifts don’t require a huge amount of effort or anything (so far at least) i’m so fucking exhausted at the end of the day that i just want to go to bed like immediately as soon as i get off work (plus i’ve been going to the gym most days -- which i’ll touch on another time bc that’s too much to get into right now) which doesn’t really leave very much time for writing/even watching movies/tv. 

i guess this is kind of like the age-old question, like, how do you pursue your passion while working at a day job??? no one knows. and i think i’m overly worried about it right now, but i really do want to get into a rhythm, and a good rhythm, and not just have the habit of coming home and passing the fuck out every night. like, obviously i do have days off, but i also really really don’t want to become just really consumed by this job and forget that there’s other stuff out there that i want. i feel like it would be so easy to do, and i’m scared of that, because it’s not really enough for me, at all. 

i guess in a certain sense it is, because i’ve always said that i don’t need that much to be happy, i really just need good people in my life, i don’t need fancy “success” or anything, but i do feel like i have a lot to say and a lot i want to put out into the world and a lot i want to pursue. and i’m struggling to figure out how to find that balance without pushing myself to the point of just having no downtime and completely freaking out. 

if anyone is dealing with this??? or knows how i’m feeling??? please let me know. i need advice/help/solidarity. what do i do????? 

so that’s the basic gist of what i’m dealing with right now. there’s a lot more specifically having to do with body image/food/etc that i’m struggling with right now, but at this moment i don’t particularly feel like talking about it, so i will get to that later!!!!!!!!!! 

wow wtf is adult life