#i am... so irrationally angry and annoyed today | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jianzhu · 4 years ago

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quotes but i won't tell you where they're from

"whatever side we think is losing, we just join in and help that side! we just keep the conflict going! it's great!" - bbh

"for now, farewell from the shadows." - dream's letter

"i don't care! i've lost all care for anything." - dream

"i have been nothing but gracious to you. tommy. think about what you did." - dream

"in all destruction, there is a new beginning. beautiful." - dream

"it's not your time to die yet, tommy." - dream

"tommy, i thought- i thought we were friends." - dream

"no one can come here, you are alone, okay? as soon as i think that you have changed, and become somebody who isn't going to hide and lie and... try and revolt." - dream

"white flags, white flags outside your base by tomorrow, at dawn, or you are dead." - dream

"you're like a little annoying bug in my room, and it's- you piss me off! so i take you, and i put you outside. and that's what i did. and now i'm just making sure you stay outside." - dream

"okay, listen, you fucked up this time." - dream

"those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it." - eret

"everything, you ruined it. you ruined everything we had. i thought you were something." - fundy

"gentleman. i would say, so far, this has been a really fine evening. and what a fine evening for some good old double-crossing, huh?" - fundy

"if i cant make people smile, i will make them cry." - fundy

"if gods can bleed, gods can die." - fundy

"i will break it down from the inside." - fundy

"you were there for me for a very very fucking long time. and then when I needed you the most, you skedaddled the fuck out of my life, and died." - fundy

"i felt cold, guilty, torn apart from the inside." - philza

"this is gonna be chaos, dude! this is gonna be the end of the world, if this- if this goes off!" - philza

"what are you doing?" - philza

"you are my son." - philza

"i chose violence today, you should know that." - ponk

"there are many, many, reasons for me to be suspicious right now." - purpled

"why does one person care so much about power? why does it matter?" - ranboo

"and i don't care how long it fucking takes me, or what i have to do to get you, techno, i'm going to fucking kill you. i'm going to kill you." - quackity

"i ate his heart!" - quackity

"do you know what happens to traitors? [...] nothing good." - schlatt

"if i die this country goes down with me." - schlatt

"i'm not gonna kill anyone else, what do i, do i look like a bad guy? do i look like a bad guy to you?" - schlatt

"you listen to me, this place is going to be a lot different tomorrow. let's start making it happen." - schlatt

"but the thing about this world, tommy... is that good things don't happen to heroes." - technoblade

"do you think you're a hero? is that what this is?" - technoblade

"do you think you are enough to kill me?" - technoblade

"do you want to be a hero, tommy? then die like one." - technoblade

"if the gods were angry they would have shown up by now." - technoblade

"i have a pickaxe, and i'll put it through your teeth! i'll put it through your teeth!" - technoblade

"i would have fought the world for you." - technoblade

"tommy, the thing is, you're using words... but the thing about this world, tommy, is that the only universal language is violence, and we've had that conversation. we've spoken that language in the pit. It's over, tommy." - technoblade

"welcome home, theseus!" - technoblade

"you think death can stop me?" - technoblade

"do i shoot him, wil? or do i aim for the skies? - tommy

"eret, listen to me, and i mean this in the nicest way possible. you fucked up." - tommy

"if you don't- if nothing matters, then... why does any of- any of this matter at all?" - tommy

"i just wanna go home." - tommy

"i know that there's one line that rings through my head as i sleep, of wilbur saying 'tommy! let's be the bad guys!' — and i don't— i don't want to be the bad guys." -tommy

"i'm here for a good time, not for a long time." - tommy

"i'm worse than everyone i didn't wanna be." - tommy

"i think you're scared of me." - tommy

"it's never my time to die." - tommy

"it was meant to be." - tommy

"no, no, seriously, when do you know when it's all too much?" - tommy

"what's the point in doing anything if we've lost all hope?" - tommy

"wilbur, look at me, look at me. please don't do this, you don't have to blow this all up... wilbur, this is our home and we can take it back, man. we're not the villains." - tommy

"what am i without you? yourself." - tommy & tubbo

"i miss him so much, i didn't think it would be so hard." - tubbo

"he described me as a pawn. this is checkmate." - tubbo

"you guys are thinking emotionally, irrationally! you need to think logically! there's more than just us four that live here!" - tubbo

"a traitor- i don't know if you've heard of eret? he had a saying, phil. it was never meant to be!" - wilbur soot

"have you heard the song on the walls?" - wilbur soot

"how bad was i, phil? how awful of a person was i?" - wilbur soot/ghostbur

"i sowed the seeds of peace, yet i'm the one that has to pay for war." - wilbur soot/ghostbur

"i am a slow-burning fuse. i am a long, slow burning fuse." - wilbur soot

"it's scary, tommy, but y'know what, in a time like this, when a man has nothing to lose, d'yknow what that means? it means we can do what we want." - wilbur soot

"my unfinished symphony, forever unfinished. if i can't have this, no one can." - wilbur soot

"tommy, are we the bad guys?" - wilbur soot

"we'll be safe, everything will be okay." - wilbur soot/ghostbur

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wewontdieunbloomed · 3 years ago

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11.04.2022

Today started off so weirdly i just told people i was tired but in reality i was irrationally angry and angsty at everything and maybe that is because i am cranky or something but small things made me annoyed really quickly. The day got better towards the second half and i had a very fun bio prac i cut myself fingerless gloves from the latex gloves provided and laughed so hard and then went for traiing with only a bread in my stomach and it was so tiring today very exerting but very fulfilling but i was hungry at the end. a lot of things to improve on just going to jot them here so i can remember

- slotting myself between ball and opponent, drop back to delay instead of committing when i don’t have support

- just Go For It im doing things right dont back off from the ball just tackle dont scared

- stop ball look for space and pass to attackers. i know the main thing we’re told is clear but if possible pass to set up attack

todays positivity is a rather fulfilling second half of the day. it got very bad when i got home though my brother got scolded because he is an idiot child 🙄🙄 and then i lost that peaceful night i was hoping for

#daily log #productivity #motivation #studyblr #100 days of productivity #studyspo #study inspiration #studying #studywithme #studyinspo #april 2022

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bored-mumma · 4 years ago

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Tom Hiddleston x Pregnant Reader

TITLE: Rough Patch CHAPTER NO/ONE SHOT: Chapter one. Read chapter 2 here WORD COUNT: 1.262 ORIGINAL IMAGINE: This imagine by @theartofimagining13NOTES/WARNINGS: Might be a two part. I’m unsure. Based slightly on my failed relationship when I was pregnant... Was almost therapeutic to write. I also had a toddler climbing over my lap whilst writing this so... I hope I did the imagine justice.

MASTERLIST

PART TWO

Tom gripped the paintbrush tightly as he painted the white walls a pastel grey. The room was thick with tension, you having just complained at him for getting paint all over the new cot. His jaw was clenched, trying so hard not to say anything back. “Could you pass me that brush please?” You asked with a small voice, pointing over to the paintbrush at the other side of the room. You were sat down in the corner trying to paint around the plug sockets and being nearly nine months pregnant, it was just easier for Tom to get the brush for you than for you to try and stand up and get it. Your ankles were already incredibly swollen and painful and you were feeling a little sick so you just wanted to stay sitting. Tom sighed, throwing his brush into the pot of paint and marching across the room to get your brush. He ignored your outstretched hand and dropped it onto the floor next to you. Picking it up, you began to speak again. “I’m sorry for getting annoyed at you earlier. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.” You said, your voice still small. Tom hummed in reply, making you feel irrationally angry but you tried to push that down and change the subject. “I think she’ll love the room. How about we get some cute animal pictures for the walls? Maybe some bunnies or-” “We agreed to keep it simple,” Tom said with a little more venom than he had intended. “I was just making a suggestion!” You defended yourself, looking over at Tom on the other side of the room. “What’s gotten into you lately, Tom?” You asked, exasperated at the constant bickering between the two of you. For the last few weeks, you and Tom had been at each other's throats. For most of the pregnancy, Tom was devoted. Would rub your stomach, come to every appointment, would be at your beck and call, and would help you in any way he could. However, now it just seemed your pregnancy was nothing but a nuisance. Something he found to be getting in the way. After telling him how you felt two nights ago, sobbing and nearly screaming at him as you let all your emotions out, Tom held you in his arms, nearly crying himself, and promised you he would try his best to not let his work stress him so much it affects his home life. But now once again, you felt like his fuse was constantly ready to blow. “How about no suggestions and just paint the bloody room!” Tom said loudly. His back was still turned to you but you could see his anger from the way he was standing. You braced yourself to stand up, asking Tom for a hand as you were still in a lot of pain. He looked over and lent you his arm but then quickly went back to the other side of the room. Your ankles hurt when you stand, but your back hurts from sitting too long. It was a lose-lose situation for you. Once you were stood, you walked over to Tom and tried to gently take his hand but he moved it away from it. “Tom.” You groaned. “Please. I already said I was sorry for snapping.” He ignored you. You felt the anger starting to bubble up again. “Tom!” “Y/N, I’m trying to paint,” Tom muttered. You turned around to walk out of the room but Tom saw you roll your eyes at him before you could. “What Y/N? What do you want to bitch about now?” His voice was getting slightly louder. “Excuse me? Bitch?” You asked full of disbelief. “I complained because you covered our baby's cot in the paint. She can’t sleep in that now we have to get a whole new one!” “So?” He was facing you eyebrows furrowed and a slight frown. “It’s not like we can’t afford a new one. Once again you just want to make problems.” “I’m the one making problems?” You tried to shift your weight between your feet, your ankles starting to swell again and getting more painful by the second. You ran your hands down your face and sighed. “You know what Tom, I am in so much pain. I’m tired, I’m hungry. We’ll just finish the room tomorrow.” “No, we need to finish it today. You could pop any second.” Tom said, moving to stop you from leaving the room but when he put the paintbrush in the pot, he accidentally knocked it over. Grey paint started running over the brand new light pink carpet. Tom clenched his fist, stopping himself kicking the can with anger. He pushed the palms of his hands over his eyes to try and calm himself, getting paint over his face as he did so. “Go on then. Say something!” Tom yelled, pointing to the spilled paint and looking at you, waiting for your response. When you never gave one, not wanting to start yet another screaming match, it only made Tom angrier. “Say something!” He yelled even louder. There were a few seconds of silence as you thought of what to say. “You know what...” You muttered. “I think I’m going to stay at my mum's for a little while.” You didn’t look at him as you said it. Slowly, you turned around to walk to your bedroom and pack a little bag. Tom followed, hot on your heels. “Why?” is all he said. Standing in the doorway, he watched as you packed your bag. “Because I’m sick of this!” You said, throwing your arms in the air as you tried your hardest to not start crying. “I am so sick of the arguing. Of us at each other's throats all the time. What happened to us, Tom? Is this what it’s going to be like raising a baby? I don’t want to raise our daughter in a home like that.” The tears were slowly starting to fall, forcing you to stop speaking as your bit down your tongue trying to not cry any more than you were. “So what are you saying?” He asked, still not moving. “I’m saying I’m tired, Tom.” You sighed. “I... I think I need a break.” You picked up your newly packed bag and headed towards the bedroom door that Tom was still stood in. Your hospital bag was already in the car ready for when labor comes. Tom looked down at you as you both stood in the doorway, debating his next move. He couldn’t deny that he was also tired, but was he just going to let you leave? “Could you please move?” You said quietly, looking down. Tom sucked on his tongue as he thought. Slowly, he moved to the side and allowed you to walk past him. He watched as you walked down the corridor and eventually down the stairs, not once looking back at him or saying goodbye. He stayed rooted to the spot until he heard the front door close. A sudden ache in his chest made him fall onto your shared bed, staring at the ceiling wondering where the hell everything went wrong. He knew you would call him if you went into labor, but the thought of not being there for you during the hardest and final month of your pregnancy made guilt run across his entire body. But he had to admit, you both desperately needed a break.

#Tom hiddleston #imagine tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston imagines #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston fanfiction #angst #tom hiddleston angst #pregnant #pregnant reader #divorce #theartofimagining13 #proposal #drabble #fan fic

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thedemonstherapist · 4 years ago

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Tension Solution

Summary: “I think this tension between us needs resolving. Be that with swords against each other’s necks or in my bed. You decide”.

Wordcount: ~4,2K

Pairing: Kaeya Alberich x GN! Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Enemies to Lovers, Sexual innuendos, Small mentions of blood

Author’s Note: Here it is! My Kaeya enemies to fuckers piece. A huge thank you to @gnocchi-ghoul for Beta reading this for me! I had such fun writing this, and you all know I’m a sucker for some good tensioned sworfighting, and this smug bastard has been on my mind ever since starting to play the game. I know this is not my usual content, but I write when I want, about who I want, ok? I’ve had so little inspiration over the past months that I’ve got to take chances like these and go with them.

Banner is not mine! If you know who to credit it to, let me know, I couldn’t find it!

There he came again. That stupid coin between his fingers, flung into the air at random intervals. That stupid grin softening his face, cheerful greetings echoing through the noisy hall. Oh, and above all, that tremendously stupid way his eyes find you immediately, just trying to do your work.

You lower your gaze, pressing your pen down onto paper with renewed determination. Jean and her new open doors policy be damned, you couldn’t wait to slam it in his face. Of course it’s the last few minutes of visiting hours that he decides to come back from his commission. Three blissful weeks of calm while he was stationed out near the Liyue border, no comments, no irksome remarks, no-

“Don’t tell me you’re too busy to greet me”.

You sigh. Kaeya observes you with his arms crossed, casually lent against the doorframe. His sword is still strapped to his back, droplets of water running down the blade, and he clearly hasn’t gone to take a shower yet, covered in dirt, mud and sporadic dried blood.

“Captain”. You can’t help your displeasured tone. “I see you’re back”.

“Inspector”. He raises a brow in retaliation. “I sent a notice stating my return three days ago”.

“Oh, that”. You pick the unintelligible letter from your desk with two fingers, holding it at an arm’s length. “Apparently your messenger didn't go for a swim on the way here. Could you confirm?”

His jaw tightens momentarily, as you note with satisfaction, but it doesn’t deter the grin. “You should be used to my handwriting by now”.

You place it back on your desk with contempt. “I am not. Hopefully your report to Jean is a little more… readable”.

He shrugs, beginning to peel off his gloves. “She’s never complained about it”.

Taking a deep breath, you try to calm yourself down. Kaeya tends to make you irrationally angry, and no, it wasn’t just the absolute nonchalante recklessness he treated his position and commissions with. You couldn’t count the times he’d risked more than his own life in battle, somehow always managing to pull it off in the last second. And of course, that was his surefire way to getting out of trouble, no matter how much Jean grilled him for it afterwards.

“Go clean up”. You try your best to make your dismissal abundant, leaning back over your work. “You’re dripping water on my carpet”.

“Oh, we’re touchy today, aren’t we?” Kaeya’s grin widens into a smirk, pushing himself off the frame. “Did Fawks hit on you during your patrols again?”

“That’s none of your business”. You shoot him a glare, tapping your nails impatiently. As if you still had the opportunity to go out on patrols, you’d been holed up in your office pretty much ever since becoming Inspector. You wished you could get out again, your body had been aching for some action for weeks, but he was the last person you’d ever confess that to.

Kaeya hums lightly, and instead of exiting, takes another step into the office. His eyes wandered your shelves with staged disinterest, but you knew he was looking for something to use as ammunition.

“I’m assuming you couldn’t hear me” you state, sarcasm adding a bite to your tone. “I told you to clean up. You look like you haven’t seen soap since leaving Mondstadt”.

“Oh, Y/N, always so worried about my appearance” he muses, drawing closer to your desk. God, you hated that stupid cat-like expression he bore, so sly and pretentious. “I’d be more worried about yourself, frankly”.

“I’m not playing these games, Kaeya”, you reply sharply, fingers tightening around your pen. “Go take a damn shower, and stop ruining my carpet. I don’t know why your immediate goal seems to piss me off, but I’d like to maintain some level of professional dignity between us”.

He rolls his eyes. “By Barbatos, you really are wound up today. I doubt that’s just my fault”.

“Be delusional, then”. You shake your head. “I don’t think Jean would appreciate another formal complaint, so do her the favour, if not for me, and get out of my office”.

“Fine”. He turns around, but not before throwing you another glance, and damn it, you know he has one last trick up his sleeve, just by the way he says it. “However, before I forget-”.

“What?”

“You’re pre-reading my report for Jean. Her orders”.

---

“... and that bastard didn't even take the time to brief me about the mission outcome, the entire time he was dirtying up my office!” You end your rant with an angry flourish, slamming your hand down on the table. “I don’t know what he intended with that whole interaction, he just likes making my day so much worse!”

Your friend chuckles, stirring her drink idly, an ocean of calm in comparison to your raging fury. “Man, if we weren’t close, I would never guess Kaeya to be such a pain in the ass. Each time I’ve encountered him he’s been so chivalrous and kind”.

“He just can’t keep it in his pants”. You cross your arms, sitting back in your chair with a huff. “If you ever end up in his bed, I will personally hunt him down”.

She laughs. “Oh, don’t worry, I won’t put you in that position”.

“I just don’t understand it”. You run a hand through your hair, glancing around the tavern. It was unusually crowded for a Thursday night, you’d been lucky to get your usual table. “Why he has this stupid grudge against me. We used to be normal colleagues, back when we were both only trainee’s and officers, but then one day the switch flipped and it’s like we can’t stand the sight of each other ever since. The worst thing is, he has every last person in Mondstadt wrapped around his finger! So nobody understands my frustration!”

“First of all, Diluc exists. Second of all, aren’t you higher ranking than him?” she asks, and you regretfully shake your head.

“No, Captains and Inspectors are on the same level. I personally didn't feel ready to be a leader in combat situations, so I passed on the opportunity. Now I miss active commissions so much, my poor sword is nothing more than an ancient relic at this point”.

“Surely, you’ll still be sent out?”

“I don’t have a command, the only times I might be are on extraordinarily dangerous or sizable sightings, or for assistance to Captains. Rue the day I get sent out with Kaeya”. You shudder at the thought. “That would end in total disaster”.

“So you really have no idea why Kaeya began to dislike you so suddenly?” your friend inquires, tilting her head aside. You shake yours. “And there wasn’t some kind of incident that caused this?”

“Not that I know of”.

A grin spreads over her face. “Hey, you ever considered that he likes you a little too much for his own good?”

“That’s some misogynistic bullshit”, you snort. “Guys are rude to people because they like them, yeah right. That’s just trying to normalise shitty behaviour in the name of quote-on-quote love”.

“I know that”. She gives you an exasperated look. “But… you have to admit that the two of you have some serious chemistry”.

“What are you even talking about?” you question, downing the rest of your drink.

“Every time you two interact”. She raises a brow knowingly. “Remember that time you were bickering on patrol through Mondstadt? I swear, even without a vision, I could see sparks between the two of you, and I wasn’t the only one, you got the entire town talking. You get on each other’s nerves because you have some unresolved tension you need to work out, and neither of you wants to admit it”.

“Shut up”. Your cheeks suddenly feel suspiciously warm, and you firmly decide it’s the alcohol. “Fine, Kaeya’s attractive, but he’s so fucking annoying because he knows that. He messes with me ‘cause he knows how to get in my head, and gets some kind of sadistic pleasure from it”.

Your friend makes an attempt to interrupt you, but you don’t let her, motioning to her to let you rant. “Let me finish. He was nice enough up until he got that damn ego boost after being promoted, I think, and even then I could still talk to him without the need to stab myself in the eye. He’s just so frustrating, never thinks twice about anything he does, and always gets away with it, plus he has this weird urge to always show off that stupidly toned chest of his and - by the Seven, I hate that idiot smirk of his, and the fact that he’s so damn perfect at his swordsmanship, I can’t even deny how good he is in battle, Jean has said he rivals her, and I despise that he knows he looks good while doing it, he-”

“So, how much longer were you going to let them just talk?” A voice offhandedly asks from behind you, and the blood in your veins turns to ice. Your friend smiles lazily, winking at you.

“Oh, you know, however long they need. Y/N’s been ranting quite a bit this evening, you really get on their nerves”.

You whip around, and sure enough, there he is, the cause of this mess. Kaeya has his arms folded, grinning down at you with thinly veiled satisfaction. You’re pretty sure half of the tavern is watching, and your blood turns from freezing to seething within seconds.

“How long have you been there?” you ask stiffly, glaring at your friend. She pulls an innocent face, leaning back in her seat with performative disinterest. Traitor.

“Just long enough to hear what I needed to”. Kaeya’s grin is threatening to split his face in half. “You really think I’m that attractive, huh? I never would have guessed”.

You jump up from your chair, spitting out the first thing that comes to mind. “Fight me”.

He actually laughs, a few of the tavern occupants joining in. “What? Are you sure you’re not mixing up a couple words there?”

You clench your jaw, deciding to just go with it. “Fight me. Knights of Favonius training ring, tomorrow morning. I’m sick of your attitude”.

“Oh?” He cocks a brow at you. “I hope you’re ready after wasting away in that office of yours”.

“I could beat you blindfolded”, you reply presumptuously, mimicking his stance, unable to ignore the fact that he smells a little too good for your tipsy state. At least he finally took your orders. You hold his stare regardless, unwilling to give in.

“Thank the Seven, you’re working this out at last”, your friend sighs, sipping at her drink. “And here I thought you’d take the sexual tension to the grave”.

Kaeya’s lip twitches in amusement as he extends one hand. “Tomorrow morning at seven. I’ll try not to kill you then, for that sake alone”.

You give him a dirty look, reluctantly shaking his hand. “Your chance of me doing the same is decreasing with every word that leaves your mouth”.

“I can live with that”. He suddenly leans closer, and before you can pull away, whispers in your ear, sultry tone leaving the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. “You’re going down, darling”.

Like Hell you are.

---

The training hall is usually relatively empty at this time of day. Some dedicated trainee’s use the morning to get their routine over, but otherwise, not many knights exercise this early. And though at least a few of them must have heard of what happened last night, not many are to be seen. Even if you could live with an audience, you decide this way is perfectly fine, especially in case of the (distinctly undesirable and should-be-impossible outcome) of you losing to him. You’re a bit out of breath from warming up, fixing your shirt before making your way over to the ring.

Kaeya is waiting for you there, clad in athleisure and in the midst of testing out a beginner’s sword. His vision is nowhere to be seen, and you curse him a little for not giving you something more to berate him for. Nevertheless, you straighten up as you approach.

“Good morning”, you greet him nonchalantly, walking over to inspect the racks of weapons.

A grin flashes across his face as he turns around, wiping the sweat off his brow. “Hello, darling”.

“Sweating already?” You raise a brow at him, deciding to ignore the nickname. “And here I thought I’d have a challenge”.

Kaeya laughs, rolling out his wrist. “You are cute when you’re acting tough”. Tilting his head aside, he watches you take your pick of one of the swords. The morning light bathes him in a soft glow, falling through the high windows, hair tied up in a messy bun at the back of his head, and- wait. Your cheeks grow hot as you realise what absurd directions your thoughts are heading to. Your friend must have gotten under your skin more than you realised last night.

Shaking your head a little, you roll your shoulders back and face him head-on. “Whatever makes you feel better. For the rules, as by training code, drawing blood is an immediate end”.

“No visions, no hits near the head or vital organs, dull blades and stop means stop”, Kaeya counts up calmly, making his way to the center of the ring. His blue eye gleams playfully in the light, and he swings the sword near aimlessly while walking. You grit your teeth at his relaxed manner. He wasn’t taking this seriously at all, huh?

“Don’t worry, Inspector”. He winks as he comes to a halt before you, maintaining the mandated arm’s distance. “I know the rules”.

“I’d hope so”, you reply, getting into position and watching him do the same. You decide to stir the pot a little, knowing it’s best to get into his head, and feign a smile. “I can’t wait until the rest of the knights hear about how royally I kicked your ass”.

He laughs lowly, and is immediately on the attack. Anticipating such, after years of observing him in battle, you parry it easily, ducking aside to avoid the next one. You wait until he’s nearly backed you into the corner, ego visibly growing with every move he makes, and take a rolling dive, knocking his legs out from under him with your own.

He manages to catch himself, and you’re relieved by the split-second of surprise in his expression. You withdraw towards the middle, blowing a stray strand of hair out of your face and, in a rush of adrenalin, smirk at him. “Not so confident now, are we, Captain?”

“You’re not as out of shape as I anticipated”, he counters, slashing his sword through the air as he repositions himself. Brows narrowing playfully, he adds: “It’ll make it more fun to thoroughly take you apart”.

You don’t give him more time to prepare. Blades crash onto each other as he masterfully deflects your attacks, and it doesn’t take long for the two of you to get out of breath. Neither of you can land a hit, no matter how feasible it seems. He handles the comparatively bulky sword with enviable ease, and you grow frustrated quickly, unable to break through his defences. In turn, you don’t let him back you into any corner, constantly keeping the playing field level and returning every new strike with your own.

“You know what, I’ve missed this”, Kaeya pants, quick to switch hands as you sidestep him, attempting to land a hit on his blinde side.

“Huh?” is all you can answer in return, deflecting his counter aimed at your back, and darting aside.

“Training”. He nearly misses the parry, forced to back up if not to risk a blow to his abdomen. “With you”. He shoots you a brash smile, easily twisting out of your range.

You huff, irritated at the fact that he still has the mind to flirt. “Your silver tongue isn’t getting you out of this one”.

“I meant it”. And of damn course, his tactic worked, the point of his blade sinking into your shoulder. “Remember when we used to practise together?”

“Before you became a dick, you mean?” you shoot back, attempting an aggressive strike at his lower thigh. Your body is getting sore, heart pounding against your ribcage, breaths coming out short and strained, but despite it all, you’re enjoying this. In any case, you’d rather die than admit to him that you’re having fun.

You really needed to get out of your office more.

Kaeya laughs, equally exhausted, before advancing at an alarming speed. “I’ll give you that one, darling”.

Your blades cross, metal clashing loudly, and you can see an opportunity form as he shortly weakens his hold. Rotating your sword in the opposite direction to try and hook beneath his, you’re so distracted by the possibility of disarming him that you don’t notice the satisfaction that washes over his expression as you do. One swift swipe of his foot and you’re falling backwards, weapon nearly ripped from your hand.

Your back hits the mat with full force, air knocked out of your lungs, causing you to give a strangled gasp. Kaeya is smirking down at you, but he’s as out of breath as you are and there’s sweat soaking his shoulders. You don’t think before you move, so infuriated by the words you know are about to leave his mouth, fingers tightening around the handle.

The hit against his shins sends him to the ground, but not sideways as planned, instead straight onto you. You don’t have the time or the mind to roll out of the way, and he tries very hard to catch himself, hands landing on either side of you. You yelp as most of his weight hits you, momentarily forgetting what’s even happening.

“Fuck”, Kaeya groans, arms shaking as he tries to brace himself. “You like playing dirty, don’t you?”

Slowly regaining the ability to breathe after nearly being crushed, your eyes dart to see him dangling over you, legs and lower body resting on your own. If anyone hears of this out of context, you’re moving to the other end of Teyvat. He’s panting, no doubt as shocked as you are, strands of his hair tickling your nose. His face is mere inches away from yours, heat seeping through his clothes onto your skin.

Decidedly too close.

Your blade kissing his throat is a much better sight. You know you’re technically breaking the rules, but the way his eye widens, corners of his mouth twitching and brows raising to the sky is just too good of a picture.

“Get off me”. You growl, trying to steady yourself with your other hand.

His laugh sounds astounded, but contrary to your demand, he does not. Instead, his chin juts forward, pressing the metal into his skin for earnest. There’s no blood, of course, all these swords are dulled to near uselessness, but it does leave you speechless at the amount of reckless pride he seems to possess.

Kaeya hums, clearly satisfied at your reaction. “I’ll be honest, this is not how I initially pictured you under me”.

What a smug son of a-

“Oh, fuck off”. Your knee makes contact with his stomach and he rolls off you with a grunt. You scramble to your feet, grimacing at what you're sure will be a bruised tailbone later. He’s already composed himself, twirling his sword idly as you get a proper grip on your own. Looking you up and down, his grin widens into a smirk.

“Though you do look similar to the imaginary aftermath”.

“I am going to kill you”, you hiss, red flashing before your eyes as you charge at him. Kaeya begins to laugh once more, but it quickly dies down as your moves become more and more aggressive, driving him out of the ring and towards the wall. The thought of whoever may be around again crosses your mind, but honestly, you can’t care about who may be watching, every last bit of strength you have left is focused on Kaeya and his stupid fucking face and the way he evades your strikes with a precision that only leaves to be desired to every onlooker. It makes you want to actually scream. You finally land two hits on him, arms beginning to shake from exhaustion and overwhelming adrenalin.

But once more, Kaeya catches you off guard. The switch flips just as his leg hits the wall and you’re just beginning to notice your own smile, sure of your victory. His expression darkens, lip caught in his teeth as his eyes narrow down at you.

Your blades clash as they did before, and of course he uses your own move against you, managing to perfect it. Your sword goes flying to the ground, and the moment you lose your grip is the moment you’re being slammed against the wall that he was nearly backed up against mere seconds ago. The tip of his sword is digging into the soft skin of your throat, positioned perfectly above your Adam's apple.

Suddenly, it goes very quiet, the silence only interrupted by your laboured breaths. Maybe it’s the fact that he near literally has a knife to your throat, but you can’t tear your eyes away from him. His hand is pressing on your shoulder, pinning you to the wall, keeping you in place. His leg is slotted between yours, barring you from moving an inch.

For the first time since you’ve met him, you have nothing to do but to admire him. Sweat is making his hair stick to his skin, an exhausted flush upon his dark cheeks. His body is visibly tense, stare boring into yours with a kind of intensity you’ve only ever seen during active combat. There’s nothing unintentional about the way he’s restraining you, nothing hesitant about the placement of the blade against your skin. His chest is heaving, teeth digging into his lip in constrained effort, fingers digging into your shoulder as if expecting you to fight back.

You don’t.

Instead, you let out a shaky breath. The adrenalin is still surging through you, but you can’t feel the constant urge to punch him in the gut anymore. Huh. Weird.

“You won”. Your voice is calmer than it ever has been talking to him, accepting of your defeat. Plus, your body is beginning to realise that whatever just happened hurt, and quite a bit at that. You wince, knowing you’re going to need some ice to get through the rest of the day.

Kaeya shakes his head determinedly, stare not wavering. “You had me in practically the same position less than a minute ago. You could have flipped me over with ease and won. You didn't. That’s the only reason I got you here”. His grip on your shoulder eases up. “We’re equal”.

Withdrawing the sword from your neck, he takes a step back, relinquishing his hold on you. You feel strangely dazed, automatically reaching to check for cuts on your neck. “I guess?”

“You okay?” He sounds relatively quiet as well, nearly uneasy, which does not fit the overconfident persona he usually bears. Whatever tension there was before has yielded to something more cautious, like strangers navigating their way across broken ice.

You nod, reaching to pick up your sword. “Fine”. You pause briefly, debating your words before meeting his eye again. “That was… good exercise. Thanks for fighting me”.

He laughs a little, and you’re taken aback by how much you don’t feel like reacting. What was going on? At the latest after that laugh you’d usually be back at his throat.

“Sure”. There’s the typical amusement in his face, but his smile is less egregious and smug. It’s… kind? “I’d have no problem repeating it”.

You raise your shoulders, unsure of what to do now. “I guess… I wouldn’t either?”

“Good”. He runs a hand through his hair in an effort to fix the mess it’s become. You’re beginning to hear the confidence you’re used to re-enter his words, but it doesn’t appear to bother you. “Friday’s at seven, then. We’ll make it a regular thing”.

“Trying to kill each other?” You surprise yourself with the attempt to ease the tension, and why in the world do you have the urge to smile at the sight of his?

“If that’s how you want to see it”. He shrugs, placing his sword back on the racks. Glancing over his shoulder, he regards you for a long moment. “I think your friend is right”.

“In what regard?” you ask, in principle fully aware of what that expression means for you.

Kaeya’s shit-eating grin has made its way back onto his face. “I think this tension needs resolving. Whatever means it takes”.

You can hear the words in your head before he says them.

“Be that with swords against each other’s necks or in my bed. You decide”.

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanficion #genshin impact fanfic #genshin impact kaeya #genshin kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich fanfic #kaeya fanfiction #hope you enjoyed <3

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doodlesnchaos · 3 years ago

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Anne: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Sasha way.

Marcy: Isn't that the wrong way?

Anne: Yes, but it's faster.

————

Marcy: What’s it like being tall?

Marcy: Is it nice?

Marcy: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Sasha: I live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Artemis: It was one time!

————

Anne: Why would you give a knife to Marcy?!

Sasha, shrugging: Marcy felt unsafe.

Anne: Now I feel unsafe!

Sasha: Sorry…

Sasha: Would you like a knife?

————

Anne: You are irrationally angry 85% of the year.

Sasha: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Marcy: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

————

Anne: I have a bad feeling about this...

Sasha: What do you mean?

Anne: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Sasha: No?

Marcy: That actually explains so much.

————

Sasha: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Marcy.

Anne: You just said it again.

Marcy:

Sasha: I am not a role model.

————

Artemis: Sasha annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he have planned for our special day tomorrow.

Anne: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Artemis: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

————

Marcy: Hey, Sasha? Can I get some dating advice?

Sasha: Just because I'm with Artemis doesn't mean I know how I did it.

#amphibia #sasha waybright #marcy wu #anne boonchuy #I found a quote generator #this is great #spiderman au

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nishiisenpai · 4 years ago

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punch - tanaka ryūnosuke x reader

REQUEST: “AHHHH ok so I'm irrationally angry rn and I do this thing where I punch my thighs so I don't accidentally commit a felony. I need some fluff so could you do any one of these boys (Tsukishima, Ushijima, or Tanaka,) seeing a f!reader doing the leg punchy? Any topic I just need some fluff 😅 Thanks - @italkmyselftosleep “

A/N: i chose tanaka cause he seemed to fit this more and relate to this request more too. i apologize that i wrote this so late because again, school was pretty terrible, but I hope this works :)))

okay this was really cheesy, so i will warn you in advance, but thank you so much for being patient and here’s this request for you!!!

WARNING: Fluff!!!

ADDITIONAL WARNING: foul language will be added! and mentions of managing anger. (this request was made before my rules page got set up)

WHO: Tanaka Ryūnosuke x Female Reader

Monday mornings are the worst. Let’s be honest. It was the starting of the week of school and it also could never start off right for anyone... Well for you that is.

Your alarm rang loudly knocking you out of bed.

“What time is it?” you cringed at the sound and the way your voice cracked. You squint your eyes while looking at your phone that stated 6:00 AM.

“5 more minutes.” as you stopped the alarm before turning to the other side of the bed.

The alarm rung 4 more times although you had slept past them all. The last one really shook you awake since the phone was right next to your ear.

“aH SHIT- I’m late!” as you pulled the covers off yourself but struggled to do so as you tossed and turned. You ran around your room scrambling to get your backpack ready while also dressing in the school uniform.

“Where is my vest?” as you searched through the piled up clothes at the foot of your bed.

“Y/N! Hurry up! You’re going to be late!”

“I know! I’m sorry! I’m trying to look for my vest!”

“It’s in the wash, sorry hun!” your mom came in and threw in a different vest that was identical but had a small stain.

“It’s fine! Thanks for this one though!” you grabbed your stain remover stick and your backpack before fleeing to the bathroom to quickly rush your daily routine. You ran to the front door to put your shoes on in a hurry.

“Take this with you!” as your mom threw a sandwich at your head and you lurched forward. Turning around to pick up the bagged breakfast, thanked your mom before bolting out the door immediately and ran to school.

“Miss Y/N, you’re late to class.” as your teacher skimmed at your messy figure.

“Yes, I apologize for that, I can clean up the classroom after class to make up my tardiness.”

“Very well then, take a seat, we are on page 51 in the textbook.” You went to the back of your class and sat there placing your stuff down.

“Here’s the work sheet for today’s work.” your classmate who sat next to you said handing you the assignment.

“Thank you so much.”

“No worries... Oh, and uh Tanaka was looking for you earlier.”

“Wait- what? Do you know why?”

“Unsure, he didn’t say anything other than ask if you were here.”

“Oh okay, thanks. I’ll go find him later.”

Class continued and you barely managed to stay awake. It was bad that you had stayed up all night to play video games and you kind of beat yourself up for ruining your sleep schedule. But you as well didn’t regret it since you had just leveled up to a higher rank.

You yawned as you walked out of the classroom to go find Tanaka. He must have been with Noya though your assumption had completely disappeared when you heard yelling come your way.

“Y/N!!!!” your best friend Nishinoya came running towards you.

“Huh?” and you felt the sudden weight of Noya on your back. “Shit, when did you get so heavy?”

“Heavy?!?!?!” You laughed and shook your head while caring Noya.

“I was playing, chillllll.”

“Mhm.” as he clung onto you still. You continued walking swaying your head side to side.

“Do you know where Tanaka is?”

“He was with me just a second ago.”

“So you ran off without him?”

“Yeah.” you smacked your forehead. “What?”

“You idiot, he’s probably trying to find you right now.”

“NISHINOYA!” Tanaka’s voice was heard somewhere on the right side of the building.

“AH SHIIIII” as Noya jumped off of your back and hid behind you. Tanaka came rounding the corner and saw you standing there in question.

“Hey babe, do you know where Nishinoya is?” you felt Noya tug on your shirt.

“Hm? Noya-san? No I haven’t, why?”

“He escaped Daichi’s meeting, and I had to bear with all the trouble he caused.”

“Oh really?” as you raised an eyebrow with an open smirk.

“Why do you look like that?”

“No reason... I will say, he might have went downstairs to the vending machines. He said he was hungry.”

“Alright, thanks babe.”

“You’re welcome.” as you saw Tanaka run down the stairs and you immediately pulled Noya’s arm from behind.

“You skipped Daichi’s meeting?!?!?”

“He was gonna yell at us!”

“Noya, that is irresponsible of you.”

“Well it was also irresponsible of you to lie to your boyfriend like that.”

“Hush- I don’t want to hear anything from you. Now you better go and run or I will drag you to Daichi myself.” Nishinoya shuddered in fear.

“Okay, fine. I will.” as Noya waved bye and you turned around and sighed.

“I forgot to ask Tanaka what he wanted earlier... I’ll just do it later.”

School continued and you again tried staying awake for them all. It was difficult knowing you lacked sleep which caused you to be cranky and irritated easily. Sometimes your fits would cause you to be annoying or angry. This lead you to act up more than you should have.

“Y/N, can you pass me those papers?”

“What do you want?”

“Uh, I was just asking if you could pass me those papers.”

“You literally can stand up and get it, I don’t know why you’re asking me.” you retorted back before putting your head back down on the desk.

“What the fuck?”

“I said what I said, so get up and get it. Geez...”

“Do you wanna fight or something?” your classmate raised her voice.

“Alright bet, let’s do it.” you turned to her annoyed.

“You asked for this.” as she stood up from her seat.

“Come at me bitch.” as you got up and stared at her.

“Ladies! Split it up! You both will be standing at the back of the class till the end of this period, and I do not want to hear a single word coming from both of your mouths.” Your teacher had spoken to both you and the girl as you guys headed to the back of the class and stood there.

The period carried on with you and this other classmate standing at the back of the classroom. This caused your irritation level to rise even more since your body was slowly breaking you down and begging you to lay down.

“Alright, class dismissed. Miss Y/N, I need to have a word with you.” as your teacher insisted for you to come towards her.

“I heard that you are in the volleyball club as the manager.”

“Ah yes I am.”

“Although you are the manager, you must stay here after school for the clean up you had promised me earlier.”

“May I clean up another day? This practice is really important and I must be informed about it.”

“I’m sure the others will inform you about it later. Since it seemed that you were close with Nishinoya.”

“I am, but he’s-”

“I don’t want to hear it. You promised me, therefore you shall keep it and do it.”

“But promises can be broken.”

“Not this one, unless you’d like me to force you on cleaning duty tomorrow too.”

“No thank you.”

“Good, now get to it. The room doesn’t become sparkly clean by itself.” as your teacher grabbed her bag and left the classroom. You bowed to acknowledge her leave before heading to the chalkboard to write profanities all over the wall.

“Why the FUCK did I HAVE to play games past three!?!?!?” as you banged on the wall with your fist. You were angry at yourself. It pissed you off that your day already started bad with being late and the situation you had moments ago with that classmate of yours. It even made you frustrated at yourself that you couldn’t find Tanaka to ask what he needed of you.

So many thoughts have rushed to your head as you walked to a desk to sit down. You had stopped hitting your fists against the chalkboard though that quickly switched to punching your thighs since you didn’t know where else to contain your anger. It was also a safer option than to accidently commit something dangerous.

After dealing with your anger, you started to clean the classroom. It was better to finish the job quicker and faster so that you would head to practice to see everyone in action. Especially Tanaka since he did mention how he practiced his serves and spikes recently.

Cleaning the classroom took less time than you thought. When music was being played through your headphones, you escaped the reality of cleaning and thought of wonders to help the process go by faster. This helped you calm down, though your body was aching.

You put away the cleaning supplies and rushed towards the stairs to head to the changing room in order to switch your sweaty and stained uniform into gym attire instead. You searched through your bag for deodorant and applied twice on each pit in order to securely and safely say your pits didn’t smell.

“Oh hey Y/N-san!” Hinata had shouted and you smiled.

“Hey there!” you waved back and walked to the bench towards Kiyoko.

“Hi Y/N, what took you so long?”

“I got put into cleaning duty.”

“I’m sorry to put this on you again, but you’re on cleaning duty tonight with some of the boys.”

“It’s okay, I can handle it.”

“Are you sure? I can stay back and do it instead since you’ve already done cleaning yesterday.”

“No no, it’s fine. Besides you have to study for your test tomorrow, no?”

“You’re right, but if you’d like I can-”

“Kiyoko-san, you need as much time as possible to study and get good grades. I know you are academically smart, though you like to do well, and staying behind with these rowdy boys is not what you need at the moment.” as you took off your jacket.

“WOOHOO! LOOK AT MY BEST FRIEND!!!” Noya hollered and you laughed while shaking your head.

“See.” you looked at Kiyoko before walking onto the court. ”Alright boys! Let’s start practicing on your serves!”

“Thank you for today’s practice!” as the boys bowed down to Coach Ukai.

“You already know what time it is. Go clean up and get home safe. Make sure to eat a well balanced meal and get lots of sleep, you hear me?”

“Yes sir!” as they all scrammed to different areas of the gym. Kiyoko had already left beforehand since there was an emergency she had to attend. Yachi was picking up her things before leaving and you waited behind for all of them to slowly leave one by one.

“Have a good night, Daichi, Sugawara and Asahi san.” as you waved them off and gave them a small smile.

“Make sure Kageyama and Hinata don’t stay back too late.” Daichi instructed.

“Understood. Good night to you three.”

“Good night, Y/N!” Sugawara said patting your head. You nodded listening to Sugawara.

“Good night, and stay safe Y/N.” Asahi said sending you a shy smile and you nodded again.

“I very much will, now move along. You guys need to be home soon.” As you turned your attention back to the boys and went to go toss the balls to them.

You had just locked the equipment room after cleaning the gym. Everyone had left, including Hinata and Kageyama who had to get Daichi to yell at the two to head home. The others went to change and you assumed they went home. This left you alone in the gym and no supervision.

Your body shook as the exhaustion and frustration you felt from earlier today started showing. You started getting angry and began punching your thighs. You would have slammed a volleyball but you forgot to have one saved for yourself.

The punching started getting aggressively harder and faster. You didn’t keep track of your surroundings as you only paid attention of releasing your anger through punching yourself.

“Babe! What are you still doing here??? I thought you already left.” Tanaka yawned as he walked closer to you. No response.

“Baby?” Tanaka neared closer to you. He heard the sound of skin smacking.

“Y/N?” As Tanaka stood behind you and took a full look at you, but what caught his eyes was you throwing punches at your reddening thighs.

“WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!” Tanaka jumped and hurried to step in front of you. He put his hands on the side of your arms and you looked up with tears streaming down your cheeks. Your eyes shined under the lights since the tears were welding in your eyes.

“R-ryu?”

“Baby...” as his eyes filled with concern and he held your face in his hands.

“W-what are you still doing here? I thought you went home already.” as you wiped the tears away in a rush and covered your thighs with your arms.

“No, no, I was going to stay behind to walk you home... Why were you punching yourself?” as he gently looked at you up down and rubbed a hand on your pink thighs.

“It was my version of coping with my anger... I’m sorry.”

“Oh my poor princess.” Tanaka sat down on the bench and turned your head towards him. He gave you a kiss on your lips before kissing your forehead. “Do you want to tell me what caused this to happen?”

“It was just a bad morning. I was late and assigned myself stupid cleaning duty to make up for my tardiness. Then I got into a fight with a classmate and got a punishment. After that I was put in another cleaning duty and god I just am so tired.” as you sighed melting to Tanaka’s touch. Tanaka had brought your head to rest on his shoulder as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“It’s okay princess, you did so well today. I am so proud of you for passing the day and finishing it off with me. It’s okay to be angry, though it’s not okay to commit brutal punches to your poor stunning thighs.” As he rubbed a hand over your thigh and gripped it a bit.

“I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry. It was your way of controlling anger, though let’s try finding a different way to contain your anger. How about we choose a different tactic? Like writing your anger away or watching me do stupid things with Noya.”

“I wanna see you act stupid with Noya. You guys make me so happy. Mainly you though.” as you put on a smile to thank Tanaka. Tanaka clenched his heart with an exaggerated expression.

“God your smile is so pretty. How did I get so lucky?” as Tanaka gave you another kiss on your lips.

“Stop- you’re making me blush.” as you hid your face in your hands and stood up to get ready to leave. Tanaka laughed before bringing your hand to his lips to place a small gentle kiss.

“Let’s get you home, hm? We should take care of those sexy thighs.” he winked giving your bum a little smack and you playfully punched him.

“Gosh, you’re so weird.” as you walked towards the doors with Tanaka clinging onto you.

“Whatever, princess. I guess I’m just crazy in love with you.” Tanaka giggled like a little kid.

“Oh jeez-” As you guys left the gym hand in hand and casually being a cheesy couple at night.

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adventuresasmrsfindley · 4 years ago

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Got my arm workout in. I asked for 5 lb weights to get started but I wish I had done 8s. Oh well. I'll use these for a while and then upgrade. Hubs got rained out of work so he was home by lunch. He asked if he could join me on my walk and then pushed me to run most of it. Love him and hate him for that. 😅

I am beyond annoyed with work today. Like every little thing is just making me irrationally angry. Especially my boss's boss forwarding me emails saying "I volunteered you for this". Can ya not, Greg?! 7 years in and I'm just so burnt out. How am I going to make it another 25-30? Are there actually people who work a job that they love? Man.... what a dream that would be. I work this job because they pay me over 70k a year with no college degree and give me close to 5 weeks of vacation time and a week of sick pay and lots of flexibility in my schedule. Not a single ounce of love or passion for what I do. The American dream! Ugh. I'll go be bitter somewhere else now. 😩

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 3 years ago

Note

trigger warning for self harm

how do i get my bf to accept that i sometimes become angry? for context, this only happens every two months maybe, then i am very irritable for a few hours, everything annoys me, i curse about everything and... am not very catious with things, like, today i was looking for a letter and it was at the bottom of a pile of sheets and i just pulled it out and the pile of (my) sheets (on my desk) became a pool, and i just didn't bother. but my boyfriend gets really stressed by this. he will stop answering me, if i ask him something and at some point (like that letter point) he will yell at me to stop.

but i don't want to stop, i just want to be angry, irrationally angry. for no other reason than that it feels right at that moment. and he will be so annoying (in my anyways pissed state) to me, that i will either leave the room or force myself to calm down because he really is unbearable (for me, in my angry mindset) when he is stressed. i sometimes harm myself, to put my anger somewhere (this is the only time that i still harm myself) but i hate that because... it reminds me of my childhood where my parents forced me to swallow all emotions and i just want to be angry, just for a while, because it feels good and i want to be free of expressing my emotions, even if they are irrational (i would bother more if it would happen more often but well, every two months, whatever). but i can't with him around.

and when i talk to him afterwards, he just says he can't bear me being angry (he didn't have an abusive childhood or anything) because i am usually exceptionally calm. and i get that, but why am i the only who has to swallow her emotions and why can't he just leave the room or anything?

how do i get him to just accept that i have the right to be angry? he doesn't has to comfort me, if that doesn't feel right for him, but just to stop forcing me to swallow my anger (or put it against myself).

btw, i would never ever let him see that i harmed myself because i don't want him to feel guilty or more stressed.

Hey there,

You are allowed to feel your feelings and express them. Especially as someone who has been forced to suppress their emotions, it can feel incredibly freeing and cathartic to express emotions. You absolutely have the right to be angry. There is undoubtedly a lot for you to be angry about.

At the same time, it is difficult to remain calm when someone around you is angry. So we have to look at real, material solutions.

Talk about this when you're both feeling calm and regulated. You're right that it's not fair for either of you to have to suppress your emotions. Your emotions are valid, and his emotions are valid as well. Be open and curious when asking about his thoughts and feelings. Make him feel heard. Ask him what he feels when you're expressing anger. Ask him if he has thoughts about why you might be doing what you're doing.

Then you can respond with your perspective and work from there. Maybe a solution is for him, or you, to leave when you need to express anger. Maybe he needs to learn more about trauma responses and trauma in general. Anger can be a really important emotion for trauma survivors. Repressing emotions isn't healthy, for anyone.

I think it's important to communicate that this is part of the process for you and that he doesn't have to do anything he's not comfortable with. Tell him you're willing to compromise, but that you're going to express your anger. Your boundaries are important and you're allowed to communicate them. You deserve time and space to process your trauma and heal.

Edit: Here's a post by a fellow mod about the validity of anger in recovery!

Wishing you the best!

- Misa

#trauma talks #mod misa #tw self harm #relationships #anger #trauma recovery

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darklordriddle · 4 years ago

Note

Hermione takes Tom on a rollercoaster for the first time 😈

TOM GETS SCARED TOO, OK?

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

Hermione let out a strangled laugh, poorly attempting to hide her glee at his blatant disgust. She placed a hand on his warm, bare arm.

It was a sunny day in mid-June, and the sun was beating down on them in the afternoon heat. She had struggled to get him here—the amusement park, of all places—and she knew his patience to be limited with the hot weather, the muggle inventions surrounding them and most of all, her.

Hermione had bloody well begged him to come with her and her friends to the park, even resulting in her getting on her knees—she blushed at the memory, remembering the feeling of Tom’s fists in her curls as his hips thrust towards her open mouth—for him to begrudgingly acquiesce in a rare moment of weakness. She had to take advantage, after all, as it was incredibly difficult to get him to agree to anything—and fuck, if he wasn’t the most stubborn person she knew.

“I’m afraid not, mate,” Ron grinned from Tom’s other side, ramming an elbow into his ribs and causing Tom to exhale in a hiss. “This is a prime muggle experience.”

“You’d do well to keep your friends from touching me as well, Hermione,” Tom seethed, adjusting the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose as he glared down at her. He completely ignored the ginger—as he had the entire way there—and pretended he didn’t exist outside the sole purpose to annoy Tom.

Ron simply rolled his eyes at the irrationally angry man, used to his constant stream of insults.

“Tom, it’ll be fine,” Hermione sighed, heading towards the queue up ahead and reaching blindly behind herself for his hand, smiling when he grabbed on, his large hand encompassing hers. “These go through rigorous testing each day. It’s safe.”

“You mean to tell me a wooden roller coaster is safe?” Tom growled, pulling back on her hand and bringing the group to a halt.

“You get this.. Sorted, Hermione,” Harry laughed, dragging a hand through his wild black hair. “Gin, Ron, Lav and I will go ahead and jump in line.”

“You do that,” Tom leveled a glare at him despite the effect being dulled by the sunglasses impairing the view to his narrowed eyes. His rigid jaw and frown managed to express his distaste, regardless. “Out of all the ideas you’ve had, Hermione, this has to be the worst.”

“It’s fun, Tom,” She sighed, reaching up to stroke his cheek and his jaw loosened, albeit very slightly. “Don’t be so stubborn. I’m not willing to risk my life for a bit of fun.”

He snorted. “Debatable.”

“Dating you isn’t risking my life anymore, you know. You wouldn’t harm a hair on my head. You’ve gone soft.”

“Don’t test me, Hermione.”

“I’m simply quivering,” She laughed, the scowl on his face becoming more pronounced with each word that left her mouth.

“You’re lucky we’re in public,” He said softly, pulling her flush to his body and leaning his head down to whisper into her ear. “I’d like to teach you a thing or two about your insolence.” His breath tickled her shoulder and sent a shiver down her spine.

“As much fun as that would be, my lord,” She murmured, using the name he preferred in bed, “I’m afraid we’ve more important things to do—like honour your promise.” She winked as his jaw hung open.

“Minx.” He swatted at her arse as she pulled him forward once more.

“You love it.”

Tom merely shrugged his broad shoulders, and she accepted that as answer enough.

“Let’s skip this and get some cotton candy,” he raised a dark eyebrow suggestively, knowing her weakness for sweets. “My treat.”

“Tom, are you afraid?” She laughed, placing a hand on her chest in mock surprise. “I had no idea you were capable of feeling fear. Certainly, if you’re that worried, there are some kiddie coasters over to the left—”

“I—am—not—afraid.” He emphasised each word, bringing his face down to hers and lifting his sunglasses, placing them on the top of his head to glare properly at her. “If you insist on dying today, by all means, lead the way.”

“Certainly.” She curtsied, grabbing his hand and dragging him forward.

She would pretend as they reached the queue that she didn’t see his hands in tight fists, clenching and unclenching the entire way through.

As it was close to becoming their turn to board, she heard him mumble something unintelligible.

“What was that?” She asked, standing on her toes to hear him better.

He mumbled once more, and she pulled him down to her face, the crowd of people overwhelming her hearing. “You’ll have to speak up.”

“I said I can’t bloody well do it!” He snarled, covering his face with a large hand. She could see colour in his cheeks, and she was sure it wasn’t from the sun. “I can’t do it.” he said again, voice level.

“Let’s go,” She pulled him back through the line, and he kept his head held up, daring anyone who made eye contact with him to say anything, his eyes like daggers.

As they arrived at the entrance once more, she rubbed both her hands up and down his arms. He shook her off, placing the sunglasses back on the bridge of his nose, sneer in place.

“So you can’t ride a roller coaster,” She said, shrugging her shoulders. “No big deal.”

“You’re right. It isn’t a big deal. Whoever designed these death traps is bloody well mad if they think I’m going to willingly ride on an accident waiting to happen.” He sighed, rubbing his forehead as though a headache was forming. “Not a word to your friends, Hermione. If they find out, I’ll be forced to kill them. Especially the ginger.”

She muffled a laugh and nodded.

“Of course, Tom,” she said, grabbing his hand and rubbing comforting circles on the back with her thumb.

As they reunited with her friends, Tom kept his complaints to a minimum, forgoing conversation with the group entirely—and if anyone had any questions about it, they kept them to themselves, Hermione shaking her head vehemently anytime anyone tried to address him.

He preferred it that way.

#tomione #my writing #asks #answered #tom is allowed to be afraid of things #espec. death

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featuringthecreature · 4 years ago

Text

The Best and Worst Things About Each MCU Movie

These are all just my stinky opinions. You are allowed to disagree, you are allowed to agree. Most of these are jokes anyway. I’m honestly just happy you’re reading this. Minor Spoilers Ahead!

Iron Man (2008) -

Best: This movie almost perfectly sets the tone for the entire universe that has at that point yet to have been created. Looking back, you can imagine the feeling of “Where are they going to go from here?” and I think that’s one of the most important things that this movie needed to accomplish.

Worst: What the fuck is Jeff Bridges doing? What’s his endgame here? I get he’s trying to take over Stark Industries but how’s he gonna do that from inside that giant metal suit he uses to kill people inside their cars?

Incredible Hulk (2008) -

Best: Tim Roth is in it and I think that is pretty cool.

Worst: I haven’t actually seen it, but the cgi looks god awful, what the hell.

Iron Man 2 (2010) -

Best: Sam Rockwell is so goddamn annoying in this movie and I think that’s amazing, he’s such a little stinker.

Worst: I remember basically nothing else about this movie except some guy talking about birds, idk.

Thor (2011) -

Best: It introduces Loki, probably one of the most beloved villains in the entire franchise.

Worst: This movie is so goddamn boring and it’s my least favorite and I hate it. Don’t @ me.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) -

Best: The first good chunk of this movie is actually a really compelling character study on Steve Rogers and what makes him a good man. Seeing him basically being paraded as this propaganda figure and watching him struggle with this is one of the most compelling things about him as a person. Really wish they kept this up for the entire movie.

Worst: The red skull is really boring guys. He’s red, that’s it. Give me something else to work with man.

Marvel’s The Avengers (2012) -

Best: This movie proved that you can have a superhero team up with this many people and have it fucking work. It doesn’t matter if you hate or love this movie, you cannot deny the effects it has on the genre.

Worst: It’s shot like a bad CW show. It looks so ugly.

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Best: This one is actually my favorite of the bunch. Exploring the question of what makes Iron Man, the suit or the person, is shown really well here. I thoroughly dig it.

Worst: That scene where Harley flip flops about whether or not he really knows Tony makes me so irrationally angry.

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Best: It’s slightly better than Thor, and I actually can feel myself start to have a good time whenever Loki’s on screen.

Worst: Once again, this movie is insanely forgettable. Christopher fucking Eccleston is in this movie and I could not tell you a single thing about this character.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) -

Best: This movie has one of the best hand-to-hand fight scenes in the entire MCU. You know the one I’m talking about. It gives me chills, I love it.

Worst: Having the government stand-in that Steve questions in the beginning of the movie actually be a front for N*zis that he can just beat up, and not an actual metaphor for the issues with the government today? You ain’t slick.

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 1 (2014) -

Best: This is the mcu movie basically anyone can enjoy. Anybody can watch this movie and find something to love about it. The characters, the messages about family and learning to be okay with feeling love, the jokes, hell, even the space setting. THE MUSIC. It’s the full package baby.

Worst: Chris Pratt has an unfortunate cameo in this one.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) -

Best: I have a couple of things. A) The party scene where we get to watch the Avengers talk and be friends with each other and act like people. B) I love James Spader no matter what he is doing.

Worst: Why is everyone quipping? Why is the robot quipping? Why would they massacre my boy like that?

Ant-man (2015) -

Best: I want Paul Rudd to marry me, best dad in the mcu.

Worst: The moment Edgar Wright left this project.

Captain America: Civil War (2016) -

Best: Introduces two great characters, Spider-man and Black Panther. These two get a lot of love when it comes to designing their characters in this movie and it makes me very happy.

Worst: It made the fandom very unhappy and I don’t like picking sides. It feels like watching your many parents get divorced for two hours.

Doctor Strange (2016) -

Best: The magic looks really fucking cool in this movie. Also, the ending with Dormammu is up there for one of my favorite endings of an mcu movie. Having Doctor Strange actually outsmart the villain instead of actually fighting him is endlessly more satisfying.

Worst: Could not tell you a thing else about this movie other than I heard Tilda Swinton plays a character that’s probably not supposed to be white.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) -

Best: Guys, I gotta come clean about something. I actually like this one better than Volume 1. I know, I know, a good majority of people do not feel this way, but I feel a lot more emotionally attached to the movie, and that’s mainly because of two characters: Yondu Udonta and Rocket Racoon. Rocket realizing that he’s an asshole but his found family still loves him gets me, man. I can’t help it. Helps that Ego is a great villain as well. Also the cinematography is some of the best in the mcu.

Worst: No Howard the Duck.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) -

Best: I think the best thing about this movie is just the solidness of it all. No one part stands out as the best because most everything about this movie is pretty damn good. Michael Keaton will knock your socks off, go watch it.

Worst: Donald Glover is in it to tease a Miles Morales reveal, BUT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED ABOUT IT SINCE.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) -

Best: Taika Waititi knows how to do shit right, lemme tell ya. Taking away Thor’s hammer from the beginning was probably one of the smartest choices in the movie, and this is a movie of smart choices.

Worst: Jeff Goldblum isn’t in it more.

Black Panther (2018) -

Best: Erik Killmonger is easily the best villain in a Marvel movie, and you can quote me on that. An amazing performance from Michael B. Jordan. It’s also the first Marvel movie I saw in theatres (I know, I was very late to the game)

Worst: Everett K. Ross is CIA propaganda and the last fight scene on the train tracks looks like shit.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) -

Best: It’s really hard to sum up exactly what my thoughts are on this movie. I think one of the movie’s best qualities is the bigness of it. This movie feels huge, there’s a lot of different stuff to love here. If you like Wakanda, there’s a whole epic battle set in Wakanda. If you’re more a fan of the space stuff, we got a whole lotta space stuff. The best part of this movie is there’s probably gonna be something that everyone can enjoy packed in here.

Worst: I also think the bigness of this movie is also one of it’s larger weaknesses. Because there’s so much stuff in this movie, not all of it is fully fleshed out. Tony Stark gets a lot to do in this movie, but Steve Rogers sort of feels sidelined at parts. There’s a perfect balance that I don’t think was quite hit.

Ant-man and The Wasp (2018) -

Best: I still really love Paul Rudd in this movie, and I think his relationship with Cassie is still really cute. World’s Greatest Grandma indeed.

Worst: This movie really had its work cut out for itself, coming off the heels of Infinity War, so it sort of falls short in that respect. I don’t want to criticize it too harshly, it is what it is, nothing insanely memorable.

Captain Marvel (2019) -

Best: I still think this is a pretty good movie, despite what a lot of people think. I struggle a lot with believing that I have to prove myself to others, so having Carol finally realize that she doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone was really important to me, and probably a lot of other women.

Worst: There were parts where I wasn’t as engaged, like the scenes in the Kree empire. That made some of the movie feel off to me, it’s a bit unbalanced.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) -

Best: This movie 100% achieves what it sets out to do, and that is to be a huge cinematic event. I don’t even really see this movie as a movie, it’s more like one huge experience. My viewing had one of the most energetic crowds I’ve ever seen a movie with.

Worst: I don’t really think this movie holds up to multiple re-watches. Granted, I saw it in theatres three times. I don’t think any subsequent viewings are ever going to pack that same punch that my first viewing had, and that makes it harder to come back to. Also Steve had a totally lame ending.

Spider-man: Far From Home (2019) -

Best: After ending on such a downer note in the last movie, this felt like a weight being lifted off my chest. Jake Gyllenhaal gives an insanely energetic performance that I absolutely adore. (Also seeing it with my dad was fun, he would nudge me every time they switched locations to tell me he’d been there)(Also when I saw it with my sibling a kid ran out of the theatre during the Mysterio mind-fuck sequence, some just can’t handle that lifestyle)

Worst: Peter Parker and MJ remind me of how perpetually single I am.

#movie review #minor spoilers #mcu #marvel #marvel review

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