#i am. livid about being poor. I'm trying to find a job but i don't even get answers back just silence :'))
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personal lol
Frowing up. three separate friends have invited me to the killers concert in my city this dec but I'm broke af 👍
#and tonight my t was triple the price it should've been 💖#i am. livid about being poor. I'm trying to find a job but i don't even get answers back just silence :'))#venting#personal#i want independence i want to own a car and drive and pay for my own life. i am so sick of being a fucking blight on everyone 💖💖💖#the iranian yoghurt isn't the problem
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Idea series oc sneaking Tae in the house after he had big fight with his father about something (your choice if it's smutty or fluff or angsty) with a peek of a vurberable Tae? Honestly i think he would change the topic as soon as he started it and prob with sex.
Anyway I'm really interest in their family dynamic since I remember don't know if it was in part one or two that you mention they have really religious parents? And seeing how harsh their dad is with Taehyung it have me wondering how is his relationship with the mother and ocs with both parents, despite everything the seem really distant from their kids, maybe thats why Tae and YN find comfort in each other. OC is the first real bond Tae made with someone so maybe that's the reason of his fear of being replaced and his obsession with her, and ocs mother probably don't pay that much attention to her so that's why even after the incident she still want him to be there. At this point I'm just rambling I'm sorry. And this ask is all over the place, started with a request and ended questioning characters life 💀💀. Sorry hehe.
when i read this yesterday i was literally blown away by this like hOLY shit your analysis is so in-depth at first i was like damn do my characters have more than oNE DIMENSION?? WHICH IS RLY FLATTERING BUT I THINK ITS JUST UR WORDS THAT MADE ME SOUND SMART 💀💀💀 the ending is chef's kiss tho made me bust a lung SHFJJD thank you so much for taking the time to write this its honestly so fucking amazing. hopefully u can see more of their family dynamic in this drabble :)
Rays of sunlight slither through the cracks in the blinds of the living room, allowing Taehyung's father enough light to scan the newspaper he holds in his hand, with the musical, happy chirping of mockingbirds filling in the silence. All of these beautiful signs of nature and peaceful rotation of the earth makes Taehyung tense up even more.
The moment he got back home from buying drugs, his father greeted him in monotone with a, "would you sit with me for a moment?" and he hasn't spoken since. The zipperbag in his pocket crinkles every time he shifts in his seat, making him cringe momentarily before he starts nervously fidgeting again.
This is so awkward and yet equivalent to hearing: we need to talk. God, why is he so silent?
Clearing his throat, Taehyung stands just as his father flips a page with a lick of his thumb. "I'm going to my room really quick."
"No."
"Oh." When will his step-mother return? She's his only hope as he sits down while avoiding looking at his father, whose gaze is set on the black and white printed pages.
It's only a minute later when he talks without diverting his gaze.
"Your sister is in her room, researching her major to get a headstart on a typical syllabus."
"Smart," he comments with disinterest and nibbles on his upper lip.
"Taehyung, how was your attendance in college?" he folds the newspaper and curiously peeks at his son, who is doing a poor job at hiding his nerves.
"It was alright–"
"Lying is a sin, son," his movements are aristocratic when he leans his chin on his fist. "Don't lie."
"I'm not," he stammers and his eyes flicker, "it was bad at the beginning of the year, but I fixed it."
His father pinches the bridge of nose where his frames lie. "I love your sister, Taehyung," he sighs and takes off his glasses, "I want her to do well. I've given up on you, but her? She can accomplish great things if you're not there to influence her. You're a bad influence. Are you following me?"
Taehyung nods dumbly with a racing heart before registering his words and shaking his head. "What?" he blurts. "I used to help her with her homework all the time–"
"You were home once every month."
"Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I didn't see her," he coldly says. That's not entirely accurate, but it is true that he saw you more than he saw his parents before he started living here again. For you.
His father is taken aback, offended as he scoffs, "You avoided me and your mother, and yet have the face to stay in our home?" He stands up and passes the coffee table that was Taehyung's only barrier to hover over him with distance. "I expected so much more from you, but you can't even do the bare minimum. An adult without a stable job, respectable girlfriend, and embarrassing grades. I'm ashamed to have raised such a boy, for I can't even call you a man."
Taehyung abruptly stands but he continues, "If you can't even pay rent, go back to that landfill you came from."
"I have to pay rent to live with my family?" He's livid and his hands shake by his sides; they're taking you away from him because what? He isn't the son they wanted him to be?
"You've made it clear that the only thing keeping you here is my daughter," he blindly points at the closed door of your room, "and you will have to try much harder to see her again. Get your life together, and you can come back."
Taehyung's face is heated with anger from the injustice. "What the fuck?! This is such bullshit; you're kicking me out?"
His father frowns at his language, growling, "Taehyung! I will not let you drag her down that path with you. When you stop destroying everything you touch, I'll gladly let you live here."
Destroy? He hasn't done any harm to anyone—especially not you. He knows he's self-destructive, but it doesn't extend to his environment. If he fails, it's his failure, but his father takes it personally instead of encouraging him to do better.
The importance of reputation and success in this family enrages him; he's aware that he's not much of an affectionate person either, but a little love wouldn't hurt to witness in the household.
Instead of defending himself or speaking his mind, he obliges bitterly.
"You need to get laid," are his last words before he slams the door and opens the zipper bag to pop a pill. Ecstasy isn't so fun when you're not around, but he can use the distraction. It's been a bad day.
He flips off a stray cat idling around the garden before casually leaving the property.
—————
Studying isn't fun for you, never has been, never will be. Though you hate every second of it, it does give you something to do to make time pass faster. You've been tutoring yourself about things you'll learn sooner or later anyway, but you guess it doesn't hurt to have to study less when the time comes.
You check the time. It's approaching night at 9 PM, and your father wouldn't protest against a break now, hopefully. He only suggested that you should start studying, but you know what his suggestions really mean.
Do it, or get shamed into doing it with subtle glances.
As if that isn't enough, he constantly checked up on you throughout the day. He wasn't exactly giving you a choice, which irks you.
But that's done and over with, and there's a more pressing matter at hand: where is Taehyung? You heard bits and pieces of the argument, but you couldn't get the whole scoop. You worry he's going to go back to his old habits of never being here, rarely seeing you. He would've been hanging out with you six hours ago out of routine... It can't just be you being clingy. Something happened.
You: are you coming home tonight?
The response takes a few minutes.
taehyung: nop
taehyung: but i am coming to ur room
taehyung: cuz ik u cant sleep without me 😖
You: actually the opposite but ok lol
You: when are you coming
taehyung: whenever u want uwu
You: uwu...?
You: just come before it gets too late
—————
So that was a lie. It's 1 AM and still no word from Taehyung. Okay, maybe you're just being clingy now, but it's unlike him not to be clingy. Maybe he wanted to cool off for a long time after his tak with your step-dad, or simply wanted to hang out with his friends after spending all of his time with you.
That makes sense. What doesn't is the slide of your window and shuffling of your curtains. You instantly sit up in your bed and clutch your blanket closer. You watch a silhouette enter your room as you pick up your limp, your tense muscles relaxing only when you recognize the intruder. You put down the lamp with a click of your tongue, ignoring the relief in your pounding heart.
"Hey," he stupidly grins at you. He looks disheveled, clothes untucked and wrinkled, and from the little light you have, you can see his redshot eyes.
"There's also the door," you remark sassily. "Are you um... high?"
He shrugs and crawls in your bed, dismissive as usual. You both make an effort to keep your voices quiet.
"I talked to mom earlier," you ease into the discussion until he butts in.
"That's great."
You roll your eyes and prop an elbow to look down at him. His head lies on his hands while staring at you, mood strangely upbeat. He's definitely high.
"She was a little sad about something, and I know it involves you. I heard you talking to–" You're interrupted with a lingering peck, a little rough in its force but not unwelcomed.
"I've missed kissing you. Shouldn't you be asleep, by the way?"
Recovering from the unexpected attack, you reply, "It's not that late. I don't have to wake up early."
"You shouldn't ruin your sleep schedule," he tucks a hair strand behind your ear without taking his eyes off of you. "Staying up is hard to stop once you start."
"Yeah, you're a great example," you joke with a quiet giggle. Whispering with him feels intimate in a heart fluttering way. His heart pangs with a feeling he can't put a finger on. "You didn't answer my question."
"Hm?"
"Don't play dumb, I'm really curious. What happened with dad?"
"A lot of things happen with dad," he shrugs, "sometimes we play catch–"
"Taehyung," you give him a pointed look, and he giggles.
"You're right, he'd never play catch with me." He groans as he stretches in your bed before trapping you with his arms on either side of you in one motion. You don't know what he's trying to do, but you watch him above you in amusement. "No offence, but when is your mom not sad when my dad is around?" he laughs with a huff.
"That's rude, Tae," you remark seriously, "she's happy when you're around."
Taehyung's smile falters like yours, his happy guise crumbling when he says, "Are you?"
"Pfft," you roll your eyes, "What do you think? I was up waiting for you."
Ah. That's not a very good influence.
"I'm here now," he whispers, "go to sleep. It's okay, I won't do anything, I know you worked hard today."
You agree with a yawn and nod. But even in your sleepy state, you can read the room—Taehyung is especially attentive of his tone and volume aside from being so tense. "Are you alright?"
"I'm in and on ecstasy," he falls back on his former spot, "I can't not be alright."
"Taehyung, I haven't seen you all day–"
"Yeah, because I didn't want to be here," he looks at you dead in the eye, "and I don't want you to be here."
You blink rapidly, slightly shaking your head in confusion, "What are you saying?"
"Move in with me."
He's met with cold silence, so he persuades persistently, "Don't you want to get away from here? You'll have so much more freedom with me, and I can help you with your assignments and everything. It'll be perfect."
"I— do you... Where?" Taehyung is high and he doesn't know what he's saying is what you believe because this is so out of the blue, so irrational, but he describes it like it's utopia; you are not completely against the idea.
"I have enough money from drug dealing to rent an apartment, and you can tell dad that you want to move out to be like an adult or whatever, that you have a stable job, without mentioning me," he rambles, and his dilated pupils are more noticeable up close; it slightly puts you off.
"Wh-what about mom?"
He scoffs, "If she wants out, she can get her second divorce. Don't worry about them; after all, they're apparently the only real adults here," he relates back to not being worthy of being called a man. You shift away from him little by little. "Just trust me."
The phrase is triggering for you, a reminder of the time you were tricked into trusting him moments before your trauma. "We'll talk about this when you're sober," you meekly say, avoiding eye contact.
A wicked smile grows on his face, "I can't wait, princess."
#idea tae#*cue big time rush theme*#just gotta say this one last time#the analysis was so well written#its honestly a sight for sore eyes 😫
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The Mandela Effect
I don't know who might see this but I'm going to say this right now I AM NOT CRAZY! I just need someone, ANYONE to believe me! It all started a few days ago . .
My life is FAR from perfect, my wife and I are poor getting by on thrifting, and food pantries; I work a job I despise, but my family is what makes it beautiful. The day ended as usual, tucking my eldest in bed for the night, getting my infant to sleep and finally my wife and I going to bed.
This is where things, went so wrong. I've lived my whole life not knowing my greatest fear until I learned about a moment in history called "The man from a country that doesn't exist" and then i realised that was in fact my greatest fear. I'm now living that scenario!
* * *
I woke up in an apartment I have never seen before. Already freaked out I went to get out of bed but found I wasn't alone, I was hoping it was my wife and some how this would make sense, but no it was my ex; I screamed. He woke with a start.
"Cat! What the hell?!."
"What date is it!"
"What has gotten-"
"WHAT FUCKING DATE IS IT!"
"It's December nineth, twenty-twenty. Why are you being such a bitch this morning?!"
Slightly less panicked but also more annoyed with him, I jumped out of the bed and found my phone. I left the room to look for my eldest, I doubted I would find my infant in whatever nightmare I was in! "Felicity! Time to get up! Felicity?!" WHERE IS SHE!
I started feeling tears spring to my eyes as panic welled up again. I searched for my wife in my contacts. It's not here! I tried finding on my Facebook list. No! But I noticed a mutual friend that introduced us however was online. Please have answers! This can't be happening! Please don't let this be real!
Hey question ur still friends w/ Rosalina on Discord or Facebook or wutever yes?
I waited what seemed like an hour, whiping my tears, even though it was likely just three minutes for their response.
U know Rosy?
Uh ya! U introduced us we've been together...well a while now!
......uhhh r u ok? Cuz I never introduced u 2......Cat....she killed herself 2 years ago....I'm sorry but if this is some kind of sick joke it's not funny!
The floor and ceiling suddenly inverted, and everything went black
* * *
I woke up in the same strange apartment but on a couch this time, my head ached as I tried remember everything before. My heart dropped as I remembered what Juno told me, tears spraing up again in gusto, as grief washed over me remembering my wife was dead, likely on the same date as her last attempt but this time she suceeded.
She never knew how much I loved her, of the beautiful baby girl we had together, she never knew the life we built together. I would never have the chance to ever look into those beautiful green eyes of hers or even run my fingers through her hair.
"CAT!"
I snapped to attention he must have been trying to get my attention for a while.
"What."
"Ok what the fuck is up with you today? And who is Felicity?!"
"Our kid! You know sassy blonde blue eyes carbon copy of my but smaller ring any bells?" I completely forgot how much he really brought out the worst in me.
"Did you hit your head or something because you're acting completely crazy!"
"I'M NOT CRAZY!" I shouted bolting upright, "I'M STUCK IN THE MANDELA EFFECT AND NONE OF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING! I LEFT YOU. THREE YEARS AGO! WE HAD A KID! I MOVED ON AND YOU DIDN'T I FOUND SOMEONE NEW AND YOU ALWAYS HATED THAT! HATED THAT I MOVED ON TO SOMEONE BETTER AND STOPPED TAGGING AROUND WITH YOU! THAT I BEGAN PUTTING UP BARRIERS AND REFUSED TO LET YOU TEAR THEM DOWN!" My face felt hot, I was shaking as all of this sank in. He looked taken aback but it didn't matter.
Felicity doesn't even exist here either, my whole life I had before is completely gone for good. My sweet girls.... Annabelle..... Felicity.....
"Uh huh.......you haven't started any new medication right?"
"FUCK YOU!" I shouted, throwing the nearest object at him. I left out the front door livid, not even bothering to grab a change of clothes or shoes, and did something I never thought I would do. I opened my phone and called my mom.
"Hey sweetie!"
"Mom... can you come get me?"
A pause.
"<Dead nam>-" I grimaced as I did my best to pretend she didn't dead name me, "Im, in Utah remember? I would love to see you but that's a bit of a drive, i would have to make just for a visit. Is everything ok?" I pondered whether to tell her or not, but I figured the worst she could do is point out the fact psychosis runs in the family, or just make it about her.
"You'll believe me right?"
Her tone of voice changed to her lawyer voice, "<Dead name> are you safe or do you need someone to get you?"
"No it's just you remember me talling you and the story of a man from a country that didn't exist......and how that freaked me out more than anything in the world?" I tried keeping my voice steady, as tears welled up again.
"Yes but what does that have to do with our conversation?"
I drew a breath, and my words came flooding out "I'm living in it, I'm in some kind of worLD WHERE SOMEHOW I'M BACK WITH CLYDE AND ROSY AND I WERE NEVER TOGETHER WE NEVER HAD OUR LITTLE FAMILY AND WE NEVER MET AND WE NEVER WILL MEET AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HER GRAVE IS SO I CAN NEVER GO SEE HER AND I'M SCARED AND I WANT THIS TO BE JUST A REALLY BAD DREAM BUT IT'S NOT AND I WANT OUT OF HERE!" I finished through sobs.
Another pause "Ok I am going to call Emily to come get you and let her know you need some air, but I think maybe a trip to the psych hospital is also possibly needed-"
"MOM! I'M NOT CRAZY I DON'T BELONG IN THIS LIFE! YOU HAVE TWO OTHER GRANDCHILDREN THEIR NAMES ARE FELICITY AND ANNABELLE. FELICITY IS FOUR, SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME SHE'S SASSY, LOVES POKEMON, MY LITTLE PONY AND DINOSAURS! ANNABELLE IS ALMOST A YEAR OLD SHE WAS THE NICU BABY SHE HAS RED HAIR, SHE'S THE FANCY GIRL! SHE LOVES SOFT THINGS, CUDDLES AND SOFIA THE FIRST! ROSALINA WAS MY WIFE SHE WAS A FEW INCHES TALLER THAN ME AND WE HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL LIFE TOGETHER!" I'm shaking worse than ever.
"<Dead name>"
"STOP CALLING ME THAT I CAME OUT AS NONBONARY AND CHANGED MY NAME 6 YEARS AGO!"
"I'm going to call your sister now." She said before hainging up. I threw my phone on the ground with all of my strength. I wanted to scream to hit my head as hard as possible and hope to wake up finding out this wasn't real. THIS CAN'T BE REAL!
My younger sister texted my phone the notification popping up on my now shattered screen.
Mom is on the phone with me right now
R u sure ur ok?
I typed furiously, wincing as my fingers caught on glass splinters.
I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!!
* * *
I'm refusing to go any redirect my sister asked for us to go to outside of her place, I know they're having me committed. I'm trying to act casual as I try typing this all on my phone and pretending my shattered screen isn't a big deal. I need just one person please say you believe me! I'm NOT crazy like everyone thinks I am. I'm not acting out some complex delusion, these people I am now grieving are real and I love them more than life itself.
Please, anyone at all tell me you believe me, please show me I'm not the crazy person every one is saying I've become.
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