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paroxysmss · 3 years ago

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My Jolly Sailor Bold

Summary: Upstate New York, 1953. Bucky can't seem to stay out of the water.

Words: 9.5k

Warning(s): Mentions of dead, PTSD, drowning, angst, some bickering, cursing, and overall spooky vibes

A/N: It's officially spooky season! I am so excited for this month and I have ambitious plans for more fics. Hopefully this time they are shorter than this, but I'm going to try my best to crank out as many Halloween specials this season! This is inspired by the song 'My Jolly Sailor Bold' that I stumbled upon last year. I hope you enjoy, and my requests are always open! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Upstate New York, 1953

Bing Crosby Only Forever crackled through the radio, the headlights showing only what was a few feet in front of them. There were no lamplights on these backroads, the void of black consuming as they traveled northbound to the campsite. Trees enclosed the street, towering above in a stance wide and robust. Rock-filled ditches parallel to the car glinted against the sudden light, the murky water at the bottom reflective as it freely flowed. It was persuasive to be careful on these roads; one wrong move and you go tumbling into those sharp edges.

Nat leaned against the door, her feet propped up on the dashboard, and her face lined up with the vent to catch the cool air. Humidity was sticky, and she tied up her blouse, attempting to escape the heat. Steve drove, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on Nat's thigh, squeezing it every so often as she splayed out her limbs in search of comfort. Soft rain tapped against the window, a steady drizzle lulling Nat to sleep the majority of the ride upstate.

The car chugged onto a dirt road, mud flicking up behind the wheels as they hit every bump. Nat groaned miserably, and Steve quietly reassured her that the cabin was up ahead and that it'd only be a few more miles. He said that an hour ago. Bucky was shoved in the backseat, and he shifted uncomfortably, his legs cramped and feet crushed.

Already, he missed Brooklyn, the dank smell of the pavement reminiscent of his home borough. Country life never appealed to him like most. The odor of farm animals burned his nose, and the pestering bugs aggravated Bucky.

Already, he had declared war on a fly early on the ride. It kept landing on his face, and Bucky almost screamed when he felt it crawling around by his nostril. But, it was too quick for his attacks, and now his palm was bruised from hurling it at the window. Eventually, he struck a deal. He kept his side of the car, and the fly could have the other. Bucky even sat up, creating a border of pretzels that they couldn't cross.

It was futile, in hindsight, but it was the only thing that kept him from going insane.

Anyway, the fly never bothered him again, so maybe it wasn't worthless.

The car jerked to a stop, the engine rumbling as Nat popped open the door and stumbled out. She sighed, relief flooding her aching joints as she pulled down her blouse to capture the chill breeze. Headlights beamed on the small cabin, the rain falling harder. Small puddles formed, and at the end of the stairs was a hole- probably created by the years of shoes snapping up the gravel as they rushed up the stairs inside. Moss flourished on the old logs, giving the weathered wood extra life. The windows were opaque with dust and grime, and the bench that sat out front on the porch leaned to one side. The vent embedded into the veranda above the front door rattled, screws loose from the rotting wood as winds swept under it and pronounced a perpetual bang.

It looked abandoned, but Steve assured him that his family still visited every summer.

That's utter bullshit.

Bucky grumbled as he stepped out, knees weak and neck pinched. He rubbed his bunched muscles, rotating his shoulders to loosen them from the strenuous ride. They shoved him in the back with the rest of the luggage because the trunk was filled with food and supplies for the week. His body unwillingly contorting in search of scant comfort had Bucky miserable and irritated, resulting in a fierce tension headache. Rain pierced his cheeks, stabbing small knives into his skin. He grimaced and popped up his collar, digging his chin in his jacket, hiding in the little cover while he sent useless glares Steve's way.

He begrudgingly helped Steve carry the baggage to the cabin, insisting on leaving their belongings until morning. Steve counteracted, of course, and Nat hurried onto the porch, the sensor activating and creating a soft hue that barely illuminated the crooked boards. Bucky lugged Nat's suitcase inside, almost tripping on the loose metal threshold. Nat stifled a laugh, and Bucky shot a menacing look the way that made her laugh harder. Already, he couldn't wait to go home.

The dreary building revealed further damage as they situated themselves. Inside, moths circled the ceiling fan; the wood blades swamped in dust and dirt. Overall, the room smelled like damp basement musk as Steve rushed around, tidying the furniture and mumbling to himself about how messy his cousins were.

Buzzing lights were white noise as Bucky tossed his bag on the bed. It was a tight fit; the bunk was initially brought in for a child. He grumbled, miserable, cursing Steve out under his breath as he slid his suitcase in the slot below the frame. It creaked, the old mattress stained over the years, and springs yelling as rust and old age consumed its joints. He rubbed his eye with his wrist, pulling off his jacket and tossing it on the small chair in the corner. He situated himself, aching, his shoulders slumped as waves of exhaustion coursed his body. Lying down was tempting, the bed oddly inviting even though he knew he would have to curl up in a ball to be remotely comfortable.

Whispers found his ears, short gasps, and playful giggles. Though he was hurting, he understood Steve did this out of concern. Bouncing back from war was more difficult than any man enlisting had initially thought. Shoot Nazis! Liberate Europe! Sounds easy, right? Fun even, but when you are young and naïve, you want to be a hero. You want to create a name for yourself and honor your family. Instead, it dissolved you into a pile of mental illnesses and trust issues, paranoia clawing inside your throat with every step as the shadows seemingly grew bigger as you tried running away.

The road to recovery was bumpy and messy, and Bucky wasn't quite sure if he wanted to pretend that he was alright anymore.

One step forward, two steps back, it seemed.

Most men didn't come back, bodies decaying in the mud, flies, and maggots attacking their eyes and hollowing their faces. The GR unit (Grave Registration Unit) scoured the fields at night, hastily digging cheap graves for the fallen men or transporting them back to base to be sent home to their respective families. Bucky didn't sleep the night they brought their bodies back, listening to the workers hauling each fallen soldier onto the back of a truck to be sent to a base where they would prepare the bodies to be shipped home.

He fiddled with his dog tags those nights. Without them, he would be another unmarked grave.

Stationed in south Germany, Bucky led his team north through thick woods and Nazi artillery. Although he wasn't at sea fighting against the Japanese, which he was thankful for, he witnessed the genuine heartache of soldiers silently suffering as bullet holes, cuts, and shrapnel tore their skin apart like thin paper. Blood bubbled at their mouths, their weak cries drowned by gunfire and shouts of other men who were ripped apart by advanced German machine guns that hid in the sanctuary of the thick forest. Burns blistered through their tattered uniforms, sweat and tears streaking their cheeks as they prayed to God to be able to see their mom's one last time, God. Let me see my mama- that had Bucky coughing himself awake at night, frantically searching his body for that bullet that pierced through his chest.

He rubbed at the scar in memory, again fiddling with his dog tags before stepping out.

Nat organized the kitchen, Steve wiping the grime off the stove and counters when Bucky entered. The kitchen was small, the walking space the size of a hallway then flowing out into an opening with a round table. Wilted flowers wept in a chipped vase, the water grimy and filled with decaying chunks of leaves. Steve shuffled behind Nat, her head stuck in the refrigerator as she arranged the containers, and she jumped when a firm hand connected with her ass.

Her face blended with her red hair, and she glared at him before jerking her head at Bucky. Steve's cheeks burned, and Bucky chuckled, dropping his head into his chest to hide his smile. Ever since Steve and Nat have been dating, Bucky has been their third wheel. Not that Bucky minded, he used to be a ladies man, charming and enticing, a new woman on his arm every night. It was bittersweet, almost. Nat was fiery, and she could pack a punch. Unfortunately, Bucky had been on the receiving end after one particularly drunken night, but she was good for Steve after the war.

Anyway, he deserved that punch.

Beers clinked as Bucky took a seat at the table, silent, sipping on his drink as Steve and Nat chatted about plans. He stared at a picture on the wall, young men painted in black and white, smiling proudly, holding a fish with a nasty hook jutting through its gill. Bucky guessed it was someone from Steve's family, all sharing the same nose and facial structure as him.

Popping open another bottle, Bucky tossed the cap in the trash across the room.

Steve raised an eyebrow, impressed.

"Still have good aim after all these years, Buck?"

Bucky smiled, tight-lipped, and shrugged, "Just luck," he sipped his beer, "I couldn't do it again if I tried."

"I dunno," Nat said, jumping up on the counter, swinging her legs, "You never miss."

"How do you know, Romanoff?"

She grinned, "Steve told me about your stories together; that's all I know."

Steve sheepishly smiled, his cheeks tinted. Bucky furrowed his brow, the crease in his forehead deepening as he gazed at his friend. He sighed, anxious. How much did Steve tell her? Bucky hoped it was only the good parts, even if they were scarce.

He cleared his throat, "Steve-"

"It slipped out."

"I don't care if it slipped out."

"Well," Steve swallowed thickly, "I didn't think you'd care that much."

Bucky muttered, "It's not my proudest moment."

"Well, we all have things we aren't proud of, Buck-" Steve fumbled with his words, not ready to have this conversation with his friend, "You just need some help-"

"That's why I'm here?" Bucky pressed, glaring with that dead look he mastered over the years. Steve gulped.

"No-"

"Yes."

"Bucky-"

Bucky was out of the room before Steve could finish, quickly slipping past Nat like a fish and swimming into his room. It was trivial to walk away like that, but he couldn't help the way he felt. Pinpointing how he felt was different, however, but the intense feeling of pressure was so overbearing that he genuinely believed his chest was flooding with water. He tried breaching the surface and gasping for air, but since he came home, it always seemed like he was stuck underwater. His head was fuzzy and throbbing, the tension squeezing his temples until he was convinced he was going to explode.

He perched on the edge of the bed, leg bouncing as he massaged his temples. Distorted gunfire rang in his ears, and his heart thumped like a bass drum, pounding against his body so prominently he could feel it in his wrist. Bucky's breathing quickened, and he stripped off his shirt. The bed dipped under his weight as he situated himself, and he draped his arm over his eyes, the sweat on his forehead soaking his greasy hair, and it stuck to the nape of his neck.

Rain tapped against the window, the wind howling as Bucky attempted to control his thoughts. He understood Steve was trying to help, trying to get him out of his stuffy apartment in Brooklyn and live for once.

"The great outdoors," Steve joked, nudging Bucky while they sat on his fire escape, the metal cold against the backs of their thighs, "It could do you good, Buck. I promise."

"When did you ever know what you're talkin' 'bout, Rogers?"

Steve scoffed, sarcastically, "Since I saved your ass in Germany, Sergeant."

It took two months of constant pestering before Bucky agreed, not wanting to disappoint his friend further. After multiple missed calls, poor excuses, and just plain bailing to get out of social gatherings, Bucky felt obligated to go with Steve and Nat, his girlfriend. Though Nat was sweet, helping Steve through his issues, Bucky was distant and standoffish, not wanting to open up to his only friend, only for him to relay back to his girlfriend.

Sucks because Bucky was right.

Darkness enveloped the room when the hallway light flicked off, and Bucky shifted uncomfortably in bed. He flirted with sleep, exhaustion crashing against him in steady waves until his eyelids felt too heavy to keep open. The red eyes peering in through his window left Bucky unaware as he turned on his side, brought his knees up to his chin, and grumbled in discomfort.

His back was going to hurt like hell.

His back hurt like hell.

The last time it ached this bad was when he worked on Sam's busted Chevy for the entire week. God, he hated that fucking day. Sam bitched and moaned for hours and sat on a bucket handing Bucky the tools to fix his transmission. Bucky was sure he was going to kill Sam if he didn't shut the fuck up.

The temptation to throw the goddamn wrench at him was reaching unthinkable heights. Maybe he'd widened that gap between Sam's teeth. However, Bucky just threatened to leave when Sam complained that his body hurt and needed to go inside and lay down for a few hours. The sun broiled Bucky's skin, leaving him burnt and red, his taut skin tightened like in dry leather, inflexible and stiff. He shed like a snake molting when he got home that night, dried and crusted clumps flaking off his shoulders and cheeks.

He cursed Sam out the next morning, his eyes flaring as his raw, vulnerable skin refused to mold with the physical expressions Bucky presented. Even scowling had him wincing, resulting in giving Sam the silent treatment for the remainder of his time working on the car.

Sam buckled after a few days, relenting and taking Bucky out to the bar as his apology and to show his appreciation.

Overall, it was a bad week.

Bucky watched the water ripple, the gray clouds lazily hanging overhead as Steve struggled to start the engine on the boat. They sat in the middle of the lake, a bucket sparse with only a handful of small fish that wouldn't even satisfy a cat's tummy. Sitting at the bow, the older man accompanying them on the trip– supposedly an old friend of Steve's dad– droned on about a lake monster he had seen a few weeks prior. He breathed through his mouth, chapped lips smacking together that annoyed Bucky to the point he resisted the urge to punch the old bastard into the water where that goddamn sea monster apparently lived.

"It got 'em big fin on its back with spikes and a long slimy tail 'bout ten long," He explained, looping the fishing line to the hook, "I saw it- I swear to God my heart leaped outta my chest, son. It's in these waters, I know it. And imma catch it ones these days."

Steve hummed in response, not listening, and cranked the engine again and again. Bucky wanted to drown himself more and more with every passing second. When Steve released a defeated groan, Bucky peered at his distressed friend. Dark spots of sweat peaked out from under his armpits, his jacket discarded and thrown haphazardly over his fishing pole.

"Need help?" Bucky asked, almost hopefully, praying to get a distraction, so he didn't have to listen to the crazy old man, "I can-"

"No, it's just being difficult," Steve chuckled, trying to be lighthearted, "I'll get us outta here," He sniffed and wiped his brow, "Anyway, Nat'll kill me if I don't get us back for dinner on time."

Bucky visibly grimaced and sighed, animatedly dropping his head in despair. Steve sent a pitiful tug of his mouth, and Bucky's stomach dropped. He mumbled to himself, trying to keep his temper at bay as the old man blissfully blabbered. Bucky accepted he was going to be stuck here for a while and decided to humor him, half turning to face the bastard that Steve had insisted on tagging along. Finn smoked a cigarette and grabbed the tackle box to put away his supplies.

"So you've seen it?" Bucky reluctantly asked, stretching his back as the knot in it began to tighten. The old man's eyes flashed with interest and he visibly perked up.

'By God I did." He swore, his eyes bulging out of his head from Bucky's feigned interest.

"What is it exactly? You talk about it like it's Loch Ness."

Finn boyishly grinned, adjusting his hat, "Well, half the county's pets have gone missing. Dogs, cats, rodents," He tossed the line in the water, "It'll take anything that'll get in the water. That's why we ain't catching no motherfucking fish no more; they're all eaten."

"Maybe there's a few hawks or bears in the area." Steve reasoned, ripping at the cord again. The engine sputtered out.

"I ain't seen no hawk or bear take a grown man." The old bastard smacked his lips, "Snatch him up like a rabid coyote does a poor bunny."

"A man?" Bucky asked, not meaning for his tone to sound more like a challenge.

"Mhm," He deftly nodded, "Man 'bout your age. Went into the water even though we told him not to, and we haven't seen him since. Ms. Fantail's daughter is his wife, and she told us he'd been hearing, I dunno, singing? Or was it screaming for weeks before he went in?Bastard left a child behind."

"Who says he didn't just skip town? Family life is tough." Bucky said.

"They found his shoe on shore a few days later. Anyway, he was devoted, and he loved his family, so I dunno what made him get in."

"Mkay, let's say it's real. What is it?"

Finn scoffed, tapping the line, then crossed his arms, "Beats the fuck outta me, son. Stupid librarian in town keeps preaching it's some pagan god-type'a bullshit that she read in a book."

Bucky smiled thinly and nodded, losing interest and letting the old guy live in his fantasy. Steve glanced at Bucky, concern written plain on his face as he continued to screw with the engine. Bucky ignored them, dissatisfied, his back was in agony, and all he wanted to do was go back to the cabin and sleep.

They stayed out on the water, the sun peeping past the layer of gray every so often to say hello. Bucky basked in its warm rays, easing the tension in his shoulders as he lounged with his legs propped up on the tackle box. It was a brief appearance, the clouds swallowing the pleasant beams, and snapping Bucky back to his misery.

Hours trickled by, and Steve was too stubborn to give up. A small radio was stored in a backpack, and Bucky advocated to signal the police so they could be tugged to shore. Steve argued, his pride now on the line, and continued to tinker with the engine. When it coughed alive after one fierce yank, Steve practically fell out of the boat in excitement.

The boat violently rocked as he steadied himself, too caught up in the moment to care as Bucky clung on for dear life. His nose came close to the edge of the water, his reflection clear as day as he looked at himself. It was when the boat tilted to the other side he saw a glimpse of another face. A distorted pallid face with deep red undertones that had shivers travel up Bucky's spine. When the boat steadied, slightly rocking, he quickly looked back, almost throwing himself over the side, but was met with murky water and his reflection again.

His eyebrow creased. What the fuck was that? It almost looked human, but he couldn't believe someone would be hovering under the water like that. Especially so willingly.

He eagerly reached his hand in the water, the murky liquid opaque around his pale skin. It sloshed around, speckling his sleeve. The chill cascaded shivers across his body, and he blindly probed his hand around, searching for anyone to grab on, and no one ever did.

Bucky hesitantly pulled his hand to his side, awkwardly flicking it and wiping it on his thigh. He looked at the lake dubiously, scanning the area in case anyone decided to emerge. He raised himself, the old man cheerfully laughing at Steve's euphoric expression. Bucky steeled himself, chuckling at his best friend, the tension of maybe having to stay the night on a dinky boat not so promising.

"Let's get outta 'ere," Steve announced admirably, positioning the rudder to turn toward the dock," 'M starving."

The singing started that night but progressed for days. An almost inaudible whisper barely caught his attention, and at first, he wrote it off as music from the small radio in the living room. But tonight, it was louder. Slow and melodic, the voice rolled with sorrowful waves. It was low, faint, and melancholy. It mesmerized him. It reminded him of a music box his mother left playing for him on his bedside table when he was younger.

Hauntingly beautiful, the words, rather than just a soft hum, matured into clear pronunciation.

Upon one summer's morning,

I carelessly did stray.

Down by the Walls of Wapping,

Where I met a sailor gay

The bright flashlight beam reflected off the dark water—the dock dipping and swaying as shallow waves crashed into the sand. A steady shh shh made it hard to hear as the tide rolled against the coast. He carefully watched the water, the song drifting away with the gentle waves that had him craving more. He scanned the area where he thought the sound was coming from, but it felt like it was getting farther away.

It was dreamlike, the song capturing him in this trance that crawled around his heart and mind, entirely seducing him. Fog blurred Bucky's vision, and he became antsy, wanting more, his body rigid as the song weakened. Where are you? He thought, slightly irritated, the palms of his hands clammy.

Where are you?

His voice echoed, startled, his tone strangled as he tried to grasp who was singing this late at night. Why hadn't Steve and Nat woken up? It was clear and pristine. The woman, whoever she was, sat out in the dark, maybe by the tree line- perhaps behind the cabin- maybe- he didn't know. But it was a cruel trick.

The whisper enclosed him, his head full of little hums and rhythm, his heart thumping to the beat of the phantom ballad.

Conversing with a young lass

Who seem'd to be in pain

Saying 'William, when you go, I fear you will ne'er be seen again.'

The round hue of the weak lamplight glowed on Bucky's slumped shoulders. His mind raced for an explanation, flying through possibilities until he convinced himself it must've been a prank. Steve warned both Nat and Bucky about the residential kids how they rode their bikes to the other side of town to scare Steve's baby cousins. Steve didn't know if it was just for the thrill of being chased off by Steve's uncle or if they did it to be cruel.

Steve supposed it was why daredevil's jumped out of planes or why derby drivers got the kick out of ramming their car into other cars. Adrenaline. That chemical reaction exploding in your body that spiked your heart rate and has you running until you physically can't anymore. Bucky felt it on the dock, but nothing was chasing him. There were no crickets, no croaking frogs, no singing, nothing. But he sensed something watching him, though, and the hair on the back of his neck stood upright, and goosebumps prickled his skin. He stood alone in the dark and waited to see whoever hid behind the cover of the bushes to appear.

No one ever emerged.

Headlights fanned over his figure.

Bucky nestled his chin in his collar, trying to think clearly. If those teenagers decided to play that prank again, he might have to call the police. This was costing him sleep, and the dark bags under Bucky's eyes were proof. Nat tried to subtly comment on it, Steve readying to speak up when Bucky swiftly turned out of the room. His head hurt too much to care about their concern, waking up with a migraine that forced him to stay in bed all day.

His mind kept circling back to the face he saw below the surface. Its long hair mindlessly swayed with the undertow of the water as big black eyes curiously watched him from above. The redness encircling its eyes stood out from its pallid skin, and Bucky couldn't shake the feeling of uneasiness that stubbornly planted itself in his stomach. He desired to reach for a pack of cigarettes, but he quit years ago. Anyway, his mom would come back from the grave just to smack sense into him.

Lost in thought, he didn't notice Steve walk outside until a newspaper was slapped on his lap. The headline caught Bucky's attention, his fingers teasing the edges of the paper.

Dead Body Found: Mayor's Son's Body Found Floating In Lake

"Somethin's out there, Buck." Steve suddenly said, sitting on one of the creaky rocking chairs.

"I never knew you to be imaginative, Rogers." Bucky joked.

"Buck, I mean it."

His serious tone set Bucky on edge.

"That's scary," Bucky grunted.

Steve sighed, controlled, however. Steve always was controlled. "His body was found a couple of miles away from where we were," Steve points at the newspaper, "He's been missing for three weeks now."

"What's this got anything to do with 'Something's out there?

"Mayor claims he heard things just like that other guy. The one with the wife and kid, you remember who, right? Yeah, he was last seen by the dock the night he went missing. At least, that's what I heard from Finn." Steve clarified. He clicked his tongue, "This is the fifth boy who's turned up dead."

"Must be a killer on the loose."

Steve shook his head. He knew something was out there, and Bucky could see his belief plain on his face. This annoyed Bucky. "I think they are closing off the dock until they figure out what- or who is killing these boys. Until then, we stay away from it."

"What?" Bucky gritted out.

"What do you mean, what?" Bucky's eyebrows lifted at the curtness of Steve's tone.

"The water-" Bucky choked out. His stomach churned. Steve was looking at him eagerly, and Bucky had to work hard to keep his expression neutral, "Why can't we go in the water?"

"Because I said." He said firmly.

Bucky grumbled. He grumbled in a way Steve only knew he grumbled.

Bucky struggled to contain his annoyance. The only good thing about being up at the cabin was the lake. It reminded him of the ocean, his father's demanding voice shouting above the unrest of the crashing waves and the breeze whipping in his hair. The long black strands loosened from his low bun and flew with the salty wind. Bucky always had to scrub his scalp to get the greasiness out.

Bucky scoffed, agitated. How could Steve keep him from the one thing he's enjoyed this entire trip? His friend was just trying to find an outlet to blame for everything going on these past months. The townspeople too, and they just couldn't accept that a murder had corrupted their precious Christian town. "When did you become all religious?" Bucky griped, his peevish tone surprising him.

"This has nothing to do with God."

Bucky shook his head, eyes hardened, and the bitterness bubbled in his chest and crawled up his throat, "Seems to be if you are really gonna believe in a fuckin fairy tale."

Steve tilted his head, puzzled by Bucky's demeaning snarl, "Why are you so defensive?"

"Why are you so defensive?"

Steve stared at Bucky for a long time, noticing how bloodshot his eyes were when the light clearly showed his face. Steve's expression tightened. "You're running on fumes, Buck. You need to go to sleep."

"No-"

"Yes-"

"No."

"You aren't listening to me.' Steve expressed, exasperated. Bucky carelessly threw the newspaper on the table, knocking it into the ashtray. Clumps of ashes are scattered across the article, and Steve hurriedly wiped them off with one deft movement with his wrist. Bucky rolled his eyes and lazily propped his ankle on his knee, leaning his head back. Still, he couldn't believe his best friend would fall down such a twisting rabbit hole full of conspiracy theories and lies.

Bucky sighed, for once resting his sore eyes. "Yes, I am; I'm just not believing you."

"Buck-"

The front door snapped shut, severing the dispute. Both men looked at Nat, one with relief and the other with frustration. Her sunglasses perched on her nose, and an aggravated crease in her brow prompting them to still. She indignantly snapped, poking a provocative finger at Bucky. "You two sound like an old married couple for fuck's sake," Nat said sharply. Her tone clipped. "Grow up."

Bucky's cheeks reddened, and he abruptly stood. He loomed over her, but she only clicked her tongue, impatient. Bucky knew he wouldn't do anything to her; he was just upset, but he couldn't avoid the unintentional curtness in his voice when he spat, "What 'bout you learn not to butt in, Natasha?"

She dipped her head, her pointed eyes narrowing, "Why don't you shut the fuck up, Barnes?"

Bucky glared at her, narrowing his eyes with a furrowed brow, "Why don't we calm down?" Steve suggested, his voice meek against their aggressiveness. They both silently stood there, their stubbornness not allowing them to look away. Eventually, Nat leaned back on her heels and cordially addressed her boyfriend.

"I was calm till mister over here decided his misery wants company." Nat snapped, vehemently, "Blame him."

"Grow up." Bucky mocked her and shoved past her into the cabin.

Nat mumbled something that he couldn't hear, and it's not like he wanted to anyway. And Bucky sulked back into his room, waiting patiently for nightfall so he could catch those kids.

"Nat's gonna be out there for hours, ya know?" Bucky muttered, sliding into the booth, "If you let her, she'll drain your whole bank account."

"That's why-" Steve grunted roughly, the edge of the table slamming into his stomach. Bucky smirked, satisfied, slightly tilting his head to get a better look at his friend. Steve exhaled, and grabbed the table, and positioned it back. Bucky's smug grin seared into the blonde's brain.

Steve spoke, at last, trying to hide his impatience, "I gave her an allowance."

Bucky wanted to show how annoyed he was out in town. He wanted to be by the water, listening to the tides roll in and the wind brush against trees. The leaves were just starting to turn color, his favorite time of the year, and Steve forced him along with Nat because of her insatiable habit of buying souvenirs.

"You're just a pessimist," Steve declared, sitting neatly, "Loosen up, Buck."

"I'm fine when I'm at the cabin." Bucky said defiantly, scanning the menu, "There's no people at the cabin."

Steve sighed, ignoring Bucky's attitude and picking up the menu. A nice waitress jotted their drinks, her hand gently resting on Bucky's shoulder as she spoke. Her gaze never left Bucky's, only talking to him as Steve ordered his beer.

She hummed, satisfied, and sashayed away. Her hips flicked from side to side as she peered over her shoulder to see if Bucky was looking. He wasn't, of course, out of respect for himself and out of dismay of being in this dinky dinner in the first place. m

"She's pretty," Steve mentioned.

"If you say so."

"Maybe you should ask her out."

Bucky solemnly looked up, peered at the waitress, then shook his head, mumbling. Steve audibly sighed, then asked if Bucky knew what he wanted. The bell above the front door chimed, and a woman with a tight black skirt and blouse walked in. Her glasses are big on her face, and her blonde, almost white hair is hung loosely in a messy bun. Red lipstick, slightly smudged, coated her thin lips, and she shuffled in. A book was held tightly to her chest, and she dug through her purse and pulled out a silver cigarette box.

She lit the cigarette, the smoke curling around her face as she sat down at the bar. Steve kicked Bucky in the shin, and Bucky whipped to glare daggers at his friend. Steve leaned in excitedly, whispering, "I think that's the librarian."

"Ok?" Bucky said, confused, "Why are you whispering?"

"Shuddup!" Steve hissed.

Bucky scowled, confused, and stared with penetrating eyes. He bit back a growl. Steve ignored him and batted his hands away when Bucky reached for a bread roll that sat on the table. Anger bubbled in Bucky's throat. First, he gets dragged out here, and now he can't have a piece of bread? His anger radiated, but Steve only kicked his shin again, causing Bucky to kick him back harder.

Bucky scrunched his nose in irritation, looking sarcastically at his friend. Steve stared at him, blandly expectant, red inching up his neck, but turned when a sweet voice called his name. "Mr. Rogers?" The librarian nervously called. She carefully smiled when Steve stood and reached out his hand. She shook it, and Steve gestured for her to sit down. Bucky reluctantly scooted over, and she gently sat, her book placed in her lap, "You called me this morning to talk?"

Steve nodded vigorously; his Brooklyn accent thickened as he spoke, "Yeah, I uh, I wanted to talk about your theories about… uh.."

"Sirens?"

"Yes!" Steve excitedly exclaimed a little too loud but shrunk back in his seat, embarrassed. People turned and glared. She giggled. Bucky peered at her soft profile. "Finn mentioned you, and I thought I'd come to ask you myself. This is my friend, Bucky." Bucky awkwardly waved, she waved back,

"But what I'm getting at is I want to know what a siren is."

"You mean was," the librarian corrected, subtly gesturing if she could continue. Steve nodded, and she lightly smiled, "Siren's actually originate from Greek mythology, and they are half-human, half-bird. But, as time progressed, they turned more into mermaids than deadly hawks plucking people out of the sky," She plopped the book down on the table, flipping through the pages and landing on one with a picture of a siren and some sailors desperately trying to resist their enticing song.

"Siren's are a symbol of dangerous temptation embodied by women during the 17th century when Christianity rose in popularity. Everyone thought them to be a myth for hundreds of years until I found some unsolved case files. All men, most sailors, were lured into the water by something. But the common theme here is that their wives and friend's all testify that they were seduced by a strange woman who sang a song about love. Now, I don't know if evolution is on their side, but my theory is that they are walking amongst humans."

She raised her hands in surrender at their skeptical looks, "I get it. Sounds crazy, but if you look at all the evidence, it doesn't seem so bizarre. I dunno how they do it. Has to be some genetic mutation or something, but I'm not expecting you to believe me. Recently, more cases of missing persons have been reported. The majority of the bodies are found in lakes and ponds, with no physical wounds or signs of struggle. All drowned."

"So you're telling me…." Steve paused. He puckered his lips in concentration, "That anyone could be a vicious lust-filled sea monster that kills for the thrill?"

She nodded briskly, "Precisely."

Steve leaned back in the booth, taken aback. Bucky just stayed put, wondering how the hell this lady hasn't been thrown into a mental asylum. Everything she spewed was in fairytales and myths, and Bucky almost wished he could smack Steve across the face. Maybe that'd put some goddamn sense into him for once.

"How'd you get the case files?" Bucky found himself asking as if attempting to find a fault in her research. She peered at him and gave him a little grin.

"My uncle works for the police department. When the cases went cold, I asked if I could have them since they weren't used anymore."

Bucky bit the insides of his cheeks then hummed in contentment. He had trouble finding the truth in her story, but he brushed it aside when he noticed her optimism. How she tapped her manicured nails against the hardback of the book, and how she happily bounced in her seat like a child. He supposed it was because someone was finally listening to her speak.

Of course, Steve would be the one to indulge in her delirious fantasy.

Steve suddenly leaned in, scanning the papers and continuing to ask questions that didn't pique Bucky's interest. Instead, he decided to focus on the table cloth, and he folded it, unfolded it, and folded it again.

"But what I'm getting at is I want to know everything."

Bucky raised his head, his eyes flickering up, emerging from his memory, returning to the present where he wasn't staring at dark black eyes.

The librarian raised her eyebrows and stubbed the cigarette bud out in the ashtray. "There's a lot of everything." She said, amicably, "We might need to go back to the library to get my notes."

Steve looked at Bucky, his eyes flashing with something Bucky couldn't catch on. Steve smiled warmly, suddenly grabbing her hands and standing, "That's fine. We have all day."

Bucky eyes widened.

Bucky's mouth was pinched shut, his forehead creased, and his shoulders tense. The knot in his back tightened subtly as he leaned against the brick wall, smoking a cigarette. He had bought some after he visited the lake. The singing never wavered even with a police investigation.

Police tape denied entry, and he rolled to a stop. The county deputy knocked on his window.

"Sorry, son, but the lake is up for investigation," He explained, lazily resting his elbow on the side view mirror, "Gotta go somewhere else if you wanna go fishin'."

Bucky looked past him, at the water. It was enticing to him. Almost mocking him. The waves shushed him as his mind screamed. He turned to the officer with a faint smile.

"My bad, officer. I'll be outta your hair."

The deputy tipped his hat and strolled away. Bucky reversed the car and left. Down the street, out of view, he rode the coast of the lake. Wire fencing and guardrails blocked his access, and he shook his head, trying to make sense of the longing feeling swelling up in his chest.

He needed to get to the lake.

But every attempt was met with failure—Steve, the police, and now this stupid fencing.

A sudden burst of anger exploded within him. His palms smacked against the steering wheel, and he pulled the car off to the side of the road, throwing it in park. The throb in his heart was so strong it frightened him. It pulsated in his ears, and he kept smashing his hands into the steering wheel in despair.

He drove to the nearest drug store, buying a pack of Malborne to calm his fidgety nerves. His hands violently shook as he cupped the flame, dipping his head and bringing his fourth cigarette to the controlled fire to lite. Smoke and nicotine flooded his senses, and he deeply inhaled, his body reluctantly calming and slumping against the ragged bricks that poked and prodded at his leather jacket. He remembered the librarian and how Steve dragged him to her office so he could hear her little spiel. Bucky didn't know why Steve brought him along, maybe in an attempt to convince him of this mythical bullshit creature. He didn't know.

The water kept calling for him to return, and he ached to feel the wind brush against his face. The police were stubborn about no one entering. The mayor's son's death was the straw that broke the camel's back. The mayor's son was probably kidnapped for ransom then killed. All those other boys? Their deaths were ruled an accident as the cause of death was determined to be drowning.

Bucky stood blank-faced, nothing special, leaning against the librarian's desk. But the librarian kept stealing glances his way. She was cute; he had to admit. But he had more meaningful ways to spend his time other than flirting with the town's nutcase.

She smelled like cigarettes and mints, and Bucky couldn't forget the tentative smile she sent him every time they locked eyes. A pink blush fanned his cheeks when she stole another glimpse of him, and he shifted uncomfortably, positioning himself to stand. The library was barren, the doors propped open to let the chilly breeze circulate the building.

The librarian faced Steve, explaining to him the history of this Siren, even reviewing case files. Steve looked invested, which angered Bucky, all this time wasted over some fairy tale.

But Bucky's mind raced, those black eyes staring at him every time he blinked. He felt queasy, his thoughts jarring, and he clenched his jaw in concentration. He didn't feel the brush of wind or the hesitant hand hovering above his shoulder. He was so lost, his imagination gripping the reins of his fragile coherency. He jolted when someone reached out and touched his arm. Bucky whipped around, startled, readying his fist to swing, but recognized the face. It was the waitress from the diner.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

She wore a concerned expression, her fur coat hugging her body at just the right angle. It made her breast almost spill out of her shirt. Bucky bowed his head, ashamed. How he had let this thing ravage his mind these past days was embarrassing, and he sighed, frustrated.

"'M fine, miss."

She looked skeptical, "Darlin', you're as pale as a ghost, are you sure?"

He slid his hands into his jacket pockets and glanced around warily. A cold sweat broke out above his brow, and Bucky tried his best to resist how her perfume invaded his nose. The sweet smell of passion fruit and something else. It was shockingly intimate, and it felt like he was standing pressed against her, his body crushing hers with his weight.

He shrugged, chuckling nervously and sucking his bottom lip between his teeth.

She pulled out her own cigarette, and without thinking, Bucky was holding out his lighter, open flame. Her eyes were black, and she easily leaned in, the red glow of the embers catching his attention as she released an extended breath.

Smoke billowed into his face. He looked away.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm in the same boat as you." She said suddenly. Bucky didn't know what she was referring to, and she caught onto his bewilderment. She dryly laughed, "The lake monster- or Siren that crazy librarian likes to put it. I couldn't be bothered with it."

Bucky laughed, short. "Most people in this town couldn't disagree more."

"They're all crazy," She snorted, her hands touching his biceps, her fingertips lightly grazing over the fabric. Her touch made him shiver, and he met her lustful gaze, "Why should we believe in them?"

He shrugged, "Majority rule, doll."

"Bullshit." She spat and took a long drag of her cigarette. For once since his arrival, he felt like someone finally understood him. Like he wasn't the only sensible one inhabiting this god forbidden town.

He stubbed his cigarette with his heel and glanced at her. Her plump lips wrapped around the stick made him tingle, and he felt his blood rush to his face.

She turned to him with a crooked smile, almost killing her cigarette with the heel of her pumps. She leaned into Bucky, her breath acrid with the blunt smell of tobacco, "What about I make you forget all the trouble, sugar—Jus' you and me tonight?"

The electric feeling she emitted made his pulse leap. Bucky glanced at the car. He had snuck out with it this evening, and he would feel guilty if he didn't go back to the cabin soon. Steve was probably pacing holes in the living room rug, Nat leisurely sitting on the couch and talking reason into him. But a sour taste coiled his tongue at the thought of them and how they kept him locked up in the cabin. Wasn't the point of this trip to get him to go out more? Be more social?

She squealed as he gripped her hips and pulled her to his chest. Bucky's breath fanned over her cheeks, and her chest flushed, the color creeping up her throat and into her face. She planted a sloppy kiss on his neck, pulling back and grinning coyly.

Well, he was going to do just that.

It was the witching hour.

He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he woke up.

Bucky stirred, his limbs stiff as he laid cramped up in the bed. He tried going back to sleep, a deep warmth radiating somewhere on his chest. He nuzzled into it, his arm wrapping around her body as she laid her head on him. A soft hum resonated from the window, but he ignored it. Resisting the urge to flip to his side, Bucky played with the ends of her hair. It was coarse and brittle, hair spray ruining the softness, and dead ends crumbled under his fingertips. She snored lightly, a small puddle of drool forming right beside his armpit. It slightly disgusted him, but he stayed put, screwing shut his eyes in an attempt to get some well-deserved sleep.

Explaining to Steve and Nat about his little stunt was a morning problem, and he benched the thought. Bucky filtered through various hot topics in his mind, wishing it would shut off for once and let him peacefully sleep. But he always circled back to the dark pupils, blown out of proportion, staring back at Bucky. The deep red undertone surrounding its waterline contrasted brightly compared to the colorless skin. Even past the disoriented-looking glass of the murky water, he saw it clearly. The curiosity ate him alive.

Nothing could wipe that searing imagine from the backs of his eyelids.

That soft hum transformed into a boom, and Bucky shot up, his legs tangling with the blanket as he frantically tried to break free. The floor met his forehead, and Bucky miserably groaned at the surge of pain pulsating above his eye. "Shit," he muttered, scrambling to stand, "Shit. Shit. Shit."

He grabbed his leather jacket, easily sliding it on, and crept out of the room. The singing was loud, a lot louder than usual, and he struggled to focus as he plucked the keys of Steve's car off the counter.

My heart is pierced by Cupid,

I disdain all glittering gold.

There is nothing can console me,

But my jolly sailor bold.

He carried his boots, walking across the cold linoleum floor toward the door. Her curtains were drawn, and the small house was swallowed by darkness. Bucky tried his best to remember the place's layout, but he didn't get the best view when all he was focused on were how soft her lips were and how her hands desperately roamed his body.

He tried his best not to hit anything on the way out. He tipped toed down a flight of stairs to the foyer.

He pulled on the door, but it stuck, and Bucky had to tug more forcefully until the hinges gave in with a shrill squeak. He froze momentarily and waited for the padding of soft footsteps. Her sweet voice, drowned in disappointment, asking Where are you going? Bucky's heart thudded at the thought, and he peered toward the bedroom. He only saw darkness.

Steve and Nat would probably be waiting for him. Nat passed out while Steve patiently sat on the porch, his leg bouncing in anticipation. Bucky regretted leaving his friend high and dry and rushed to the car to unlock it. He fumbled with the keys before angrily jamming it in the lock, swiftly opening the door. The engine roared to life, and Bucky floored it.

Sweat dampened his back, his shirt sticking to his skin as he shifted uncomfortably. The cabin wasn't far away, and Bucky struggled to focus on the road. Its voice rang in his ear like a perpetual whisper, and he switched off the radio to sit in silence.

When the cabin came into view, Bucky slowed the car to a halt just before the driveway. The porch light was on, the yellow hue illuminating the stairs. He looked for Steve but didn't see him. It must've been too cold to sit outside.

Bucky's fingertips grazed over the gearshift, his consciousness raging in a civil war. He knew he had to go home. Steve was probably on the verge of a stroke by now, but Bucky fought with himself. He urged himself to move forward. The lake was behind him, and he resisted the temptation to go to it. Anyway, there would be police officers on patrol, and he wouldn't get very far.

However, a new energy flooded him- a recklessness that gave him courage- and he impulsively threw the car around and floored it to the lake.

Headlights reflected off the caution tape and skimmed past onto the dark water. The car door clicked shut, and he ducked under the barriers, storming past Do Not Enter signs. The lake was silent but for the sound of his ragged breathing. He staggered onto the dock, carefully watching the water. There was nothing, now. Not one sound. He grew irritated and began to curse under his breath. This was useless. Whoever was messing with him must've fled when he barreled out of the car in a frenzy.

Fog floated above the water like disembodied ghosts, the silence deafening to his ears. Earlier, everything was screaming. Why did it suddenly stop? He reached down and grabbed a pebble, using all his force to throw it at the water. Where are you? Where are you? He wanted to yell. To shout. Let all his built-up frustrations out and let whoever out there know he was on the brink of insanity.

His fist clenched at his sides, the knuckles white, and he felt a warm liquid cascade through his palms. An immense pressure pounded his temples as he took shallow breaths. The headlights died, and Bucky was blinded, the dark swallowing him whole until his eyes adjusted. The moon shone brightly, the water gleaming with its pale beams. He watched the changeable gray of the lake as it swelled and sank, and inside, he felt his heart swell as well. He didn't know if it was anger or defeat. But he stumbled backward, his head throbbing, and made his way toward the car before he heard it.

That sweet voice echoed through the air.

His hair it hangs in ringlets, his eyes as black as coal

My happiness attend him wherever he may go

From Tower Hill to Blackwall, I'll wander, weep and moan

All for my jolly sailor, until he sails home

Shivers erupted on his skin, and he stared at the shadow that stood in front of him. The lady sat upon the dock; her back turned toward him, the melody she sang purred to the soul, piercing through and capturing his heart. Bucky felt a sense of familiarity, and he didn't realize that he was walking toward her. She stood, her bare body revealing itself and his gaze shifted to her firm, youthful breasts. Her skin was pallid, and her hair fair and thin. Sharp fins protruded from her back and forearms, but her face was soft and round with thin lips.

A dreadful chill ran down his spine. When his eyes met hers, they were black. A deep abyss waiting to swallow him whole. His knees almost gave out under him, but he managed to keep himself from falling. She smiled, thin lips stretching as she tilted her head, her eyes languidly scanning his body, up and down, before landing on his lips.

"Remember me?" She softly asked, her voice alluring. She tilted her head to the other side as if she were trying to get a better look at him.

His temples thrummed.

He shook his head, lost in the abyss.

"Good," She said flatly. She had webbing in between her fingers, pale scales reflected off the moonlight, "I suppose I still got it after all these years."

Bucky mindlessly nodded, and he felt a sweet, warm buzz spreading over him. A small charge electrified his skin as her fingertips grazed his cheek. He wanted to back away, and his mind frantically screamed and flashed danger throughout him. But it was as if he was glue in place. His limbs suddenly heavy with exhaustion.

She leaned in, tracing his jawline with her finger, "Aren't you just the prettiest little thing? I knew I wanted a taste of you when you first pulled in at that cabin," she licked her bottom lip hungrily, "I didn't think anybody lived in that dilapidated thing no more."

Cigarette smoke and mint invaded his nose when she shoved her body against his, his hand instinctively planting on her nude hips. His eyes were glassy as he gaped at her with surprise. He figured it out.

"You're the librarian." He whispered breathlessly.

Her eyebrow perked, "Smart too? Oh, what a catch."

She smiled amicably, her white hair flowing in waves down her back. Bucky gulped. A cold, instinctual fear wrapped around his lung, and his stomach twisted. He pursed his lips together and averted his gaze down, breaking from the fascinating darkness. He couldn't figure out why she did it. Why tell the whole town? Why stick your neck out like that? What was there to gain?

He didn't understand.

"Why?" He found himself asking.

She fixed the collar of his leather jacket, teasing the edges, "Thought you'd asked that sweetheart," She said casually as if she was waiting for him to make the connection. She lifted his chin to make him look at her. A smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth, and she slowly leaned in. He gulped, his shoulders rigid. Her cool breath ghosted his ear, "Nobody believes in crazy, sweetheart."

Her eyes seemed to darkened when he looked at them again, something sinister yet disarming hiding behind the chasm. He felt lightheaded, and he tried to control his quickened breaths when she snaked her arms around his neck, pulling him in. No coherent thought passed through his mind. Just the burning humiliation that heated his cheeks when she closed the gap between them.

Her lips were warm and soft, and he couldn't suppress the moan that escaped his lips. She giggled, the mint from her tongue intoxicating him further. Bucky felt like he was on cloud nine when he pulled away panting, not realizing her kiss had reduced him to his knees.

Immediately, his eyes began to feel heavy, and she kneeled in front of him, raking her hands through his greasy hair with care. Bucky felt weak, unexpectedly, like his body was slowly losing control and giving out. His mouth was dry, and he faintly heard himself gibbering, gripping her hips like a vice to try and raise himself. Ghostly pale hands removed his grasp, his entire body falling until he was met with the cold ground. Gravel dug into his legs, pebbles driving into his open palm, and his head grew heavy on his shoulders, dropping between them like a weight as he hopelessly clutched at the cusps of consciousness.

He thought about Steve as he attempted to hold his chest up, his elbows involuntarily buckling as he strained to stay awake. Bucky saw Steve's face as he shut his eyes. His face was broken and battered but still held that steady, shy smile when he always saw Bucky, whether it be from saving him from an alley fight or showing up at his house to take him to a dance. That skinny kid from Brooklyn that no one ever thought to take a second glimpse at, holding out his hand in the battlefield to lift Bucky up.

He saw Nat's pointed glare when he had one too many beers. Felt her sturdy hands as she guided his drunken ass back to bed. How she only sent him a knowing glance in the morning, setting down a glass of water and ibuprofen on his nightstand when he fluttered awake.

He saw Sam's gapped tooth smile and heard his contagious laugh. Felt his arm slung over Bucky's shoulder as they walked on the sidewalk toward the auto shop. It all seemed real, and Bucky's throat tightened at the thought of him never seeing them again. A choked sob raked through his body, and he glanced up at the librarian. She easily lifted his heavy shoulders, his arms going limp, his knuckles grazing his thighs. She was dragging him toward the water. Her once soft smile now morphed into a wicked grin.

Bucky wanted to scream and cry, but he was too weak to even produce a small whimper. All that guilt settled in his stomach, and he desperately ached to apologize. They were right. God, he pleadingly thought, if you let me live, I'll let Steve tell me 'I told you so' as many times he wants.

He let out an uneven breath and looked at the stars and the moon one last time. He always wondered what it'd be like to go up into space. To feel the earth's gravity untethered from his chest, freely allowed to drift away.

The cold water sent a gentle shock up his spine, and he barely recognized how numb his body really was, only feeling the cool sensation of the water rise toward his face. Suddenly he felt immense pressure in his ears, and Bucky didn't realize he had forgotten to breathe; all he was concentrating on was his slowing heartbeats. They were soothing, and the soft cool currents hitting his cheeks in soothing motion caused his body to give in. He felt all the weight pressed on his chest let go. All pressure on his temples was gone, and he gasped.

He was floating.

Hope you enjoyed! If you want to listen to the song My Jolly Sailor Bold the link is here

Also requests are open :D

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #bucky fic #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky x you #the winter solider #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes/reader

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quiet-onset · 4 years ago

Text

New Suit

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Black!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k+

A/N: it’s been forever since I’ve posted, but I have been writing since I was stuck at home with covid 😅 Hopefully I can post something else next week too! ANYWAYS, this fic does not have any TFAWS spoilers and (as usual) does not give a fuck about Endgame, meaning our favorite dysfunctional couple Tony and Steve are alive. Steve simply passed on the mantle. Enjoy!

So Sam was Captain America. And he was proud of that fact.

The day that Steve decided to retire and give him one of his most prized possessions was a day Sam would never forget. A whirlwind of emotions had swelled in his chest. Shock, unworthiness, gratitude. But after talking it over with Steve — and surprisingly enough, with Bucky — Sam agreed to take in the role.

The thing was, no one knew yet. At least, no one outside of the Avengers facility.

Immediately after Thanos, there weren’t really any Avengers level threats. Most threats could be handled by one team member, and it was usually one of the newbies — Peter, Scott, even Wanda. That being so, Sam didn’t have much of a reason to even make public appearances. So he didn’t.

Sometimes, he’d stand in the training room, the red, white, and blue shield strapped to his arm, and just stare in the mirror. Something felt wrong. Out of place. Like the reflection before him was almost right, but he still couldn’t tell what was wrong. Tony had caught him one time as he stepped into the room, a sports bottle full of ice cold water in his hand. “Mid-life crisis?”

Sam jumped at his loud voice and almost scrambled to detach the shield from his arm, like a kid caught with his grubby little hand in the cookie jar. “My bad, I’ll just—“

“No no, keep it on.” Tony waved a hand. “I gave it to Steve, he gave it to you. It’s yours, no give backsies.”

Sam nodded but took the shield off anyway. He decided that he didn’t need to train anymore and headed toward the door. “I’m just gonna go put this back.”

“What is going on with you, Wilson?”

“What do you mean?”

Tony raised a brow, “What do I mean? You staying cooped up in this facility. Barely training with the shield. Opting out of assignments. That’s what I mean.”

“There’s not much of a need.”

“There is. You just don’t see it yet.” Tony walked toward him. “Look, I know being the new Cap has you freaked out—“

“I’m not freaked out.”

“Sure. But Steve chose you and that should be good enough.”

“It is.” Sam huffed as he turned the shield in his hands. “I don’t know, man. I just… It’s just hard to believe. Hard to put in action, I guess.”

“Well, seeing is believing.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Head to room 626 when you get a chance.”

“What’s in room 626?”

“You’ll see.”

—

Sam exited the elevator on the sixth floor to loud muffled music. Looking around, he realized he’d never even been to that part of the facility before. The white walls and obscure art seemed strange and misplaced in a building full of superhumans. Too clean, too elegant.

Each of the rooms seemed that way too. Sam paused in the hallway, glancing through some of the glass doors with people’s names painted neatly at the top. Hardwood floors and marble countertops in each room. So impeccably clean that even dust bunnies wouldn’t dare step foot inside.

Yet, when Sam approached room 626, he realized this was where the loud music was coming from. Different from the other rooms, this one was messy and colorful. He slid the glass door open, flinching at loud volume.

He recognized the track — his father used to listen to it all the time when he was growing up. He could almost hear his dad’s deep voice teasing him: “You don’t know nothin’ ‘bout this, son. This was before your time.” Of course Sam knew the song. His dad was the one who put him on. Still, Sam’s dad always got a kick out the playful fight he put up.

The long, seemingly endless hallway was painted a blinding white. He could make out a peculiar smell as he walked toward the end of the hall. Wet paint or fumes, he wasn’t really sure. He just pulled his shirt over his nose and kept looking for… well only God really knew.

Finally, he arrived in the main room and saw you and your controlled chaos. You had ten or twenty different fabrics pinned to one wall and sketches of different outfits pinned to the opposing one. Against the back wall were mannequins wearing your works in progress. And just in front of Sam on a large wooden desk were schematics and what looked like engineering tools. Soldering iron, wires, circuit boards, and the like.

Everything seemed like a tornado of colors, clothes, and fabric. But you? You were as cool as a cucumber with your expensive looking spray painting mask strapped on as you sprayed the back of a jean jacket with bright pink paint. Sam chuckled when he heard your muffled voice sing along to the song, not noticing his presence. “Sherry bay-yay-by. Sherry, wontcha come out tonight.”

Sam pulled his shirt back down with a small grin on his lips, debating whether he should disturb you. In the end, he decided to save you the embarrassment, but by then, you’d already moved on to the next verse. You dropped your voice down low in an attempt to sound just like Nick Massi, singing, “Why don’t you come on.”

Sam let out a loud laugh, only covering it with his hand as you jumped, finally realizing someone else was in the room. “Sorry.” Sam chuckled. “Didn’t mean to interrupt your concert.”

You pulled the mask over your head, revealing a nervous smile. You jogged to the desk and grabbed the remote to switch off the stereo. “Concert’s a flattering choice of words.”

“Well you were really nailing that Massi.”

You raised a brow as you set down the can of spray paint. “You listen to Four Seasons?”

“Growing up, it was a staple in the Wilson household.” He offered his hand. “I’m Sam, by the way.”

“Y/N.” You shook it, an impressed smile on your face. “So what can I do for you, Sam?”

“I’m actually not sure. Tony just kinda sent me up here.” He raised a brow when you gasped, amused with your excitement. He smiled as the cute squeal that pushed past your lips. “I assume you know what that means.”

“I’ve been asking him forever if I could design your new suit!”

“New suit?”

“I mean, if you’re okay with it.” You added.

“I just don’t see why I need a new suit is all.” Sam shrugged as he looked around at all your work. He knew, way deep down in the rational part of his consciousness, that he needed a new suit. There wasn’t anything wrong with his Falcon suit, but wearing a new suit seemed too definite. If he put on a new combat suit, it meant that he was fully stepping into this new role. That he would be Captain America in more than just name. People would look at him, at his suit, and recognize that he was the Captain America.

“How about this?” You stepped toward him, prepared to bargain. “Let me make you a suit. If you don’t like it, I’ll just give your Falcon suit an upgrade. Deal?”

He let out a nervous chuckle at your offer. He had nothing to lose, really. Either way, he got upgrades. Still, he looked over at you and decided he couldn’t be the one to snuff the ambitious look in your dark eyes. He shook your hand, smiling softly at the triumphant grin that broke across your face. “Deal.”

“Great!” You were bouncing on your toes when he agreed. You practically raced back to your desk and started shuffling through your sketches and until you found the folder you were searching for. You handed them to Sam, “You can come back tomorrow morning so I can take your measurements. Till then, look through these sketches and tell me what you like.”

“So you’ve been working on this for awhile?” Sam asked, briefly flipping through the many colorful sketches.

“Ever since Tony told me about you.”

He let out a breath of amusement through his nose. Of course it was Tony, trying to set things in motion before Sam was even sure of what he wanted. Still, he knew Tony was trying to help. Sam gestured with the folder. “I’ll take a look.”

“Cool. Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

—

When Same woke up the next day, he found himself immediately thinking about meeting with you later. He felt weird. Nervous, even. Whether it was due to the idea of a new suit — of being Captain America — or seeing you, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he felt like a swarm of butterflies had flown from his stomach to his throat and decided to make a home there.

After stepping out of the shower, which took twenty more minutes than usual, he fumbled around for something to wear. What was he supposed to wear to fitting anyway? Sweats? Jeans? As his mind wandered, he thought of you. Rather, he thought of how you would see him. Maybe I should wear the green shirt, he thought. Girls always seem to like the green shirt.

He paused. Why was he thinking that?

He’d just met you. He knew a total of two facts about you: your name was Y/N and you listened to Four Seasons. That was hardly enough for Sam to be worried about how he looked for you. Yet, there he was, slipping on the dark green shirt that seemed to stretch ever so slightly across his broad chest. He settled on a pair of dark jeans before heading down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

As he stepped into the communal kitchen, Bucky was already sitting at the island, back facing Sam. He had just returned from his daily run, still in his sweatpants and white T-shirt with a cup of coffee in front of him. “There’s still fresh coffee in the pot.” Bucky mumbled into his cup as he flipped to the next page of the newspaper.

“Thanks.” Sam walked past him, slapping the newspaper into Bucky’s face as he walked by. “Why are you reading a newspaper?”

“To keep up with the news. Like a normal person.”

“There are these great new things called cell phones. Most people read the news on those now.”

“Well, I’m not most people, am I?” Bucky lowered the newspaper and furrowed his brow at the sight of Sam. “What girl are you trying to impress?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Green shirt.”

“What about it?”

“That’s your ‘I want a girl to like me’ shirt.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sam scoffed as he poured a second cup of coffee. “This is just a shirt.”

“The shirt.”

“I’m not having this argument with you.”

“Not much of an argument when you know I’m right.” Bucky smirked. “Who’s the second cup for?”

Sam paused as he realized he’d been caught, but quickly recovered with an eye roll. “For me. So I don’t have to come back and hear your annoying ass voice.”

“Mhm. Tell the girl I said hi.”

“Screw you.” Sam left the kitchen to the sound Bucky’s chuckles, reluctant to admit that he was right. Moments later, he was waiting for the elevator, tapping his shoe to distract himself from the butterflies that were starting to flutter around again. When the doors slid open, Tony briefly greeted Sam before stopping and pulling off his glasses. “Green shirt?”

Sam stepped past him. “Shut up.”

Every step closer to your workspace had him jittery. Not only was he forced to deal with these unfamiliar feelings for you — if that’s what they were — but he was finally being confronted with his new position. One step closer to replacing Steve. To being Captain America. Yet, he couldn’t deny, he could envision himself in some of the suits you had sketched for him. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

When he entered 626, there was loud music playing once again. Another old song he recognized, Van Morrison. He smiled at the thought of you dancing around your space again, singing along to Brown Eyed Girl. It wasn’t so much about him catching you in the act. It was nice, a privilege really, to see the natural you. Eyes closed, arms up, hips swaying. Seeing how you act when you believed no one was watching was like strangely endearing.

And there you were, almost matching his wandering thoughts to a tee. You were setting up for work, once again not noticing Sam’s arrival. You danced across the room as you moved things from place to place. You began to sing out the words as you prepared to lift your tri-fold mirror. Sam broke from the trance and called out your name. You jumped and placed a hand over your heart, laughing quietly when you saw it was only him. “Caught me again.”

“To be fair, you seem pretty easy to catch with the way you get lost in music.” Sam smiled, placing the coffee cups on your desk, far from any of your papers. “Let me get that for you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“It’s no problem. Just tell where you want it.”

You stepped away from the mirror, tossing a stray braid over your shoulder with a smile. “Just over there, in front of that pedestal. Thanks.” When he went to lift it, your eyes were drawn to his arms, watching his biceps flex. You caught yourself before you could begin to stare, heat rising to your cheeks as you went to look for your measuring tape.

“Oh, by the way, I brought you a cup of coffee.” Sam mentioned as he set the mirror down. “You know, if you drink it? I didn’t know what you put in it, if anything, so it’s black. Is that okay?”

“That’s perfect, actually.” You sighed happily. “I’ve been trying to replace coffee with loud music in the mornings, hence the dancing.”

“Of course.” He chuckled in response.

“And while I love to blast Morrison at nine in the morning, it’s not the same without a hot cup of coffee.” You took the cup he offered with a smile. “Thanks for thinking of me.”

Sam couldn’t help how his heart skipped a beat. “Don’t mention it.”

You took a sip, “So, you ready to get measured for your new suit?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Great, just step onto the pedestal for me, and relax.”

“Got it.”

It was quiet as you brought the tape measure under his arms and around his chest. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but Sam was sure his nerves had to be radiating out of him. The butterflies were beating against his ribcage as you pulled just tight enough on the tape measure. You took note of the number and bent over to write it down on your notepad. Being so close to you, Sam felt himself tense up as you measured around his waist. You chuckled and looked up at him. “You gotta relax.”

“I’m relaxed.”

“If you don’t loosen up, your new suit is gonna be super tight in all the wrong places.” You joked. “Talking usually helps.”

“About what?”

“Anything.” You shrugged. “Like why are you so opposed to a new suit?”

Almost as if it was a reflex, Sam tensed up again with a nervous and playful chuckle. “Way to get me to relax.”

“I’m just saying.” You laughed, adjusting the tape once again. “It’s not like you’re not qualified. I mean, Steve chose you.”

“Yeah, he did. I wish it were that simple in my mind.” He admitted.

“What’s your mind saying?”

“What isn’t it saying?” Sam rolled his eyes at himself. “It’s just… I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I don’t want to put that on you. That’s not your job.”

“It’s not.” You agreed with a chuckle. “But that’s not why I asked. You can tell me.”

Again, with a wave of confusion, he felt the tension melt away. He didn’t know why he felt this way, like he could tell you anything and everything. There was a familiarity about you, like you were someone he’d known his entire life despite only meeting twenty hours ago. His father probably would’ve called you an old soul. Maybe in some other lifetime, in another universe, you knew each other. Or maybe, this was just fate coming to pass. Destiny finding, not two halves, but two wholes — putting them together like some sort of experiment to see what would come of it.

“It’s just… how am I supposed to follow after Steve?” He asked. “He has such a huge story, this legacy just hanging over my head. He’s been saving people since before either of us were born. And now here I am, some dude from the Air Force that met Steve completely by accident, about to take up his shield. It just seems unbelievable. Literally.”

You nodded as you measured around his left thigh. “First, let me say that your feelings are completely valid.”

“Why do I feel like you’re about to decimate everything I just said?”

“Not decimate!” You laughed. “Just gently prove wrong.”

“Oh, in that case.” He smiled down at you.

“Shut up.” You snapped him with the tape measure before measuring his other thigh. “Steve is not the only one with a story. I mean, Sam Wilson, the guy who grew up in Harlem, lost his parents and his best friend, and still managed to not give up? The guy Steve Rogers trusted with his life almost immediately after meeting him? The same dude who stole a top secret government project and used it to become a superhero? I think that’s pretty badass.”

Sam considered your words with a small smile. Sure, he may have seemed normal — maybe even mundane — to himself, but the fact is that he had also been through a lot. Just like Steve, Sam realized that his life was no walk in the park. Not many people couldn’t have lived Sam’s life and come out the other side not just okay but strong. He wasn’t Steve Rogers, but that didn’t matter. He was Sam Wilson, and maybe that was okay.

“You’re good at that.” He commented quietly, looking down at you. He just about caught himself staring at you. The bright smile across your ruby shaded lips, the almost childlike excitement in your eyes. And your eyes — jesus. They were the same color as his, a dark brown. Yet, he couldn’t help but find yours so much more interesting.

“At what?”

“Talking to people.”

“Not everyone. Just...” You shook your head as you stood up straight. There was something indecipherable in his eyes — or maybe you wanted to believe it was. Still, it was there. Admiration, confusion, gratefulness? You weren’t sure. But the intensity of his stare made heat spread across your cheeks one more, and you ducked your head, moving to the side to measure the length of his arm. “Just people like you.”

Minutes later, you finished his measurement and moved on to the designs. You and Sam went through each and every one, noting his likes and dislikes. As time went on, it became very apparent that he was ready to be Captain America. Even if he wasn’t sure yet, you were. Much too soon, every detail of his new suit was planned out, and it was time for Sam to go.

“If I make this my top priority, I can have your new suit finished in two weeks, tops.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Sam said bashfully. “I’m sure you have other work to do.”

“None as exciting or as important.”

“Now you’re just stroking my ego.” He joked.

You scoffed painfully, “Like you need me to do that.”

You walked beside him, down the hall and to the elevator. He couldn’t help but wish he had some sort of excuse to stay, but leading the Avengers meant a mountain of responsibilities. Still, he wanted to see you again. Not for work and not for designing a new suit. He wanted to get to know you away from the fabric and tape measures. He wanted to find out how someone as sweet and breathtaking as you could even exist in a world filled with such evil left and right. So, he rocked back and forth for a moment before turning to you.

“And um, Y/N?”

“Yes?”

Sam fully intended to ask you out just then. But he felt like he couldn’t move. A feeling of nervousness he hadn’t gotten since he was a teenager, he was frozen. Staring at you like a deer in headlights, his brain screamed at him: Just ask her, you dumbass! Then, the elevator announced its arrival with a ding and broke his concentration. He cleared his throat and smiled nervously. “Thank you again. You’ve been a huge help.”

You blinked in confusion but stammered out, “Glad to be of service.”

It wasn’t until a few days later that Sam had gained the courage to do what he should’ve done in that moment.

The city was in danger — some high-level Hydra threat — and the Avengers were needed. Everyone rushed off to suit up, including Sam. That’s when he saw it. You had just finished his suit, and it was more than Sam could’ve ever imagined. A shiny white breastplate with red decals on the torso, blue pants lined with bulletproof material, and to top it off, his signature red wings. That was something he wanted to keep. They reminded him of his humble beginnings, of what made him the man that Steve chose to be Captain America.

And Captain America he was.

Sam was aware of all the stares he got as he fought the Hydra agents and ended the crisis with the rest of the team. He knew it would take some getting used to. But he was pretty sure — no, extremely sure that he could do this. He could be the symbol that the public needed.

He strolled back into the Avengers Complex, handing a handcuffed Hydra agent off to be questioned, when he saw you. You were usually there waiting, ready for feedback on your new toys and inventions. But what Sam said surprised you.

“Hey Sam,” You started. “Did your new suit fare well? I was already thinking of some modifications based on —“

“Would you like to go out with me this Saturday?”

You blinked, lowering your clipboard in shock. “What?”

“Would you like to have dinner with me on Saturday?” He smiled wide and unabashedly. Then, with no hesitation, you smacked him on the arm with your clipboard, making him bark out a laugh.

“Took you long enough.”

#sam wilson x reader #cap!sam wilson x reader #marvel x reader #marvel fanfiction #sam wilson x black!reader #cap!sam wilson x black!reader #marvel x black!reader #sam wilson fanfiction #cap!sam wilson fanfiction #captain america x reader #captain america x black!reader

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sunnydaisy1 · 4 years ago

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Flights Delayed

SAM WILSON X READER

A/N: why is this not my life??? I love Sam and this beautiful human being who sent in this request. I loved it and couldn’t wait to post this piece. Hope you like it :)

REQUEST: I saw your call for Sam Wilson requests on your arts and crafts fic, which was excellent by the way, and I thought I might send one in! How about reader as an avenger who either can’t make it home for Christmas, or doesn’t have a home to go to. And Sam stays with them at the compound and they stay up watching Christmas movies, until reader falls asleep on his shoulder. I’m a sucker for some Christmas fluff! ❣️🎄🎁 - Anon

You thanked Happy as you climbed out the car, pulling out your suitcase and shutting the door. You giddely walked towards the airport entrance, finding the right area for Terminal 2. This Christmas you were staying with your family for the first time in 2 years. You couldn't wait to arrive home and feel the familiar comfort of your childhood home and forget about the stress and panic of the world for a few days. Soon, you found the waiting area for flight 227 and sat down amongst many awaiting adults, eager to go home to see their families. You checked the flight board, smiling at the green notices saying all flights were on time and that yours left in 35 minutes. Pulling out your phone from your puffer jacket, you noticed that you had a notification from the groupchat you shared with Nat, Sam, Steve and Bucky called SPYKIDS. Sam: hope your flight is good y/n, have a nice christmas x Steve: gonna miss you at the compound :) Nat: enjoy the break lovely xx Bucky: Sam is waiting for you to reply Y/N i can see him checking his phone every 30 seconds. Sam: am not Steve: liar Sam: shut up Bucky: dont be rude sammy Sam: I hate it when you call me that and you know it 😑 Nat: not when y/n says it you don't Steve: ....exposed ☕ Sam: wish id never said anything now 🤦‍ Nat: hehe You chuckled and sent back a text Y/N: thanks guys haha, have a lovely christmas sammy x You clicked on spotify and opened some music up, putting in your headphones to pass the time. Around 10 minutes later you noticed a lot of people were starting to talk louder and there was a bit of commotion. You turned round to see where everyone was looking and your heart dropped. Snow. It was fricking snowing outside. Normally you would have been ecstatic at the sight of snow at Christmas, but right now it only meant one thing. Delayed flights. You glanced up at the flight board and saw only one flight had been delayed. Crossing your fingers and praying to any power there may be, you sat down in your chair and searched the weather on your phone. Just 10 minutes later, the airport was chaos central. Almost all flights had been delayed and the frustration of tired people was rising. You had been flicking between the glass windows which looked out over the runways and showed you the increasing precipitation to the flight board. Your flight hadn't been classified as delayed yet and you could sense everyone around you was waiting with baited breath at whether it would change to delayed. You shifted in your seat and watched with utter sadness and irritation as the letters next to your flight number switched to state DELAYED. You groaned alongside the other awaiting passengers, just hoping for a miracle so the snow would clear up soon. This frustration unfortunately didn't fade away and as the minutes passed by, you felt a christmas surrounded by family slowly drifiting away. The snow was falling heavier now and you dreaded looking at the flight board, knowing the glaring orange letters would not ease the tension in the atmosphere. You glanced down at your phone, seeing it had been over an hour since your flight was meant to have left. A sudden speaker crackled and everyone looked up in hope, "We thank everyone for waiting patiently for information on their flights. Unfortunately, the snow has not cleared and the runways are becoming increasingly dangerous. It is expected that their condition will not improve so we must regrettably inform you that all flights scheduled for today have been cancelled. Our staff will be happy to help you find temporary accommodation and we will continue to update you on flight statuses. Thankyou." At once, the airport exploded into an uproar and angry passengers stormed towards the information desks. Your heart sunk as the flight board wiped out to display all cancellations. How were you meant to arrive home in time for Christmas now? You didn't want to spend christmas eve at an airport. Tears threatened to fall from your blurry eyes as your perfect christmas slipped away. You sniffled a little and unlocked your phone, deciding that texting your mum was best. You explained the situation and you got an instant reply, stating she was incredibly sorry and that they would all miss you tomorrow. You arranged with her to fly home on the 27th so you could still spend some of the holiday with your family. Sitting back in your seat, you looked around at the mania of tired passengers and wondered what you were going to do now. You had no clue if anyone was even staying at the compound over Christmas. Racking your brain for someone to call, you decided Tony would be the best as he would know everyone's wearabouts. He picked up after the second ring: 'Hey kid, everything okay?' he asked, concern in his voice. 'Urh no not really, all flights today have been cancelled and I don't know where to go.' You replied, trying not to burst into tears. 'Oh Y/N im so sorry. I can get someone to pick you up and drive you to ours if you want, I'm sure Morgan and Pepper would love to spend Christmas with you.' You sighed at Tony's kindness but the least you wanted to do was intrude on their private time and plus, the drive would take at least 8 hours in this weather now. 'That's really sweet but the roads are jammed Tony. Is anyone staying at the compound?' 'Yeah, Sam is currently there now and Steve and Bucky are going over tomorrow.' Tony replied and you sighed in relief. 'Okay thanks, I think I'll stay there with them.' 'Okay kiddo, call me if there's anything you need.' 'Will do, merry christmas Tony." "Merry Christmas y/n." You hung up on Tony and searched for Sam's contact, clicking on it and hearing it ring a few times before his gravelly voice came through. "Y/N i thought your flight had left?" He asked and you rubbed your forehead, a headache weeding itself into your brain, "Uh no, all flights have been cancelled because of the snow." At once, you heard Sam get up and his voice fill with concern, "Love I'm so sorry, I'm coming to pick you up now." You nod and sniffle, "Okay, thanks Sammy." "No worries, I'll be there as soon as I can."He replied. You picked your stuff up, heading for the terminal exit to wait in the pick up area. You sunk down into one of the padded seats, closing your eyes and leaning back against the wall. God you hoped Sam would arrive soon. Sam walked into the pick up waiting room, scanning the huge crowd for your familiar body. He weaved in and out of people until he spotted your defeated frame, slumped in a chair. His heart sunk at your sniffling and tear-stained cheeks. "Oh love I'm here." He said as he squatted down in front of you. You opened your eyes to see his face, brows furrowed. "Sorry for being a pain." Your hoarse voice croaked out. "Nonsense. Let's get you home." Sam replied, wrapping an arm around you and carrying your bag and suitcase despite your attempts to stop him. You shivered as you exited the building into the nipping air and Sam pulled you closer, heart breaking at your shivering form. He took you over to the car and opened the passenger side, letting you slide in before shutting it and placing your luggage in the back. He climbed into the drivers side and turned the engine on, wanting nothing more than to pull you into his lap and hug you whilst you cried. But, that would cross over the boundary that clearly defined your relationship as 'Just Friends' so he had to make do with holding your hand across the console. After a while, you stopped crying and your body had relaxed into the warmth of the car, easing your throbbing head. You softly spoke to Sam, "Thankyou for coming to get me, I know this isn't how you wanted to spend your Christmas Eve." Sam chuckled and rubbed his thumb over your hand, "Its alright love, driving home a snotty girl definitely wins over watching another of Steve's movies." You laughed slightly, greatful for Sam's attempts to cheer you up. Sam beamed as he glanced at you, "how does me and you and some Christmas movies with a shit ton of food sound to cheer you up?" You smiled and looked at Sam, "that sounds lovely." When you had arrived back at the compound, Sam had told you to go and get showered and change into comfy pyjamas whilst he got some food ready and you couldn't muster the strength to disagree when that sounded perfect. You walked into your room, freshly clad in a pair of warm joggers and an oversized tshirt, feeling a lot more relaxed about the situation, knowing a Christmas spent with 3 of your favourite people would be amazing and that you would see your family very soon. Sam knocked on your door when you were finding a pair of fluffy socks, one of his hoodies in hand. "Thought you might want one of these, I know you steal my hoodies when you think I'm not looking." You felt heat rise to your face, embarassed but taking the hoodie none the less, knowing the cozy fabric and relaxing smell would calm you. "Thanks." You replied, making Sam grin. "Foods ready, where did you want to have it?" He asked, watching you tug the hoodie on. "Oh uh if you don't mind my bed is looking really inviting right now." You replied, tugging on the ends of the hoodie's arms. "Sure thing." Sam winked at you before walking in the direction of the kitchen. Your heart fluttered at the gesture and you shook the thoughts out of your head as you scooted under your bed covers and sat up against one side of the headboard. Not 5 minutes later, Sam returned, quesadillas and popcorn in hand, grinning at your swamped form in the bed. "Oh you're a godsend." You said as he handed you a plate of your favourite food. Sam chuckled and placed the popcorn on the bedside table. "Do you still want me to join you or do you want to be left alone?" He asked considerately and your stomach jumped at how sweet he could be. "No there's room for you, scoot over here Sammy." He grinned and clambered in bed next to you, his own plate of quesadillas resting on the duvet covering his lap. "So what will it be Elf or the Holiday?" You asked Sam, mouth already full of cheesy goodness. "I don't mind." He said, watching you with so much adoration on his face that if Bucky or Nat had seen him they would have shipped him off to a deserted island so they didn't throw up at the sickening love radiating off him. "the Holiday it will be then. I'm in the mood for some Jude Law." You giggled, taking another bite of quesadilla and grinning at Sam. You continued to watch the movie together, finishing your food and somehow migrating towards each other while sharing popcorn, both of you excusing it as needing to be closer to share the bowl. You were gradually growing more tired, struggling to keep your eyes open as the rollercoaster of emotions you had experienced today had wiped the energy out of you. Sam tensed when he felt your head rest on his shoulder but relaxed when he saw your dozey gaze watching the TV. His body filled with warmth at this moment you were sharing and he dared to put an arm around you, pulling you closer to him so your head was now resting on his chest. He feared he had overstepped the boundary but you made no complaint and placed your hand beside your head on his chest. A small smile flickered across your face as you snuggled into Sam, his warmth washing over you and making you even more tired. Sam watched the credits for the movie roll out and was about to speak to you when he noticed your eyes were closed and your breathing had regulated out. His heart flipped at your sleeping form and he brushed the hair out of your face, turning the TV off and moving to get up. Your hand tightened on his sweatshirt though and a soft grumble came from you, "Dont leave." You mumbled, holding onto Sam. He nodded and scooched down in the bed so you were both comfortably laying down, "Night love." He said, stroking your back soothingly, "Night Sammy." You whispered, falling back asleep. You woke up, surprisingly warm and went to stretch when you felt a hard object in your bed. Your eyelids flickered open to reveal a softly sleeping Sam sprawled out onto your bed, your legs entangled. He looked so peaceful asleep, the creases that often littered his face due to worry smoothed out and leaving him looking even more heavenly. You smiled and went to get up, suddenly feeling an arm tighten around your waist and pull you towards Sam. "Where do you think you're going love?" He murmered, voice deep and laced with sleep. Your heart pounded and you looked at Sam who still hadn't bothered to open his eyes. "It's Christmas morning Sammy." You said, laying with his arm draped over your stomach. "Exactly- Buck and Steve won't arrive for another 3 hours yet so we can cuddle for longer." Sam replied, eyes opening to look at you, a smile cheekily spreading onto his face. "What-no-" You started, not understanding Sam's reasoning at all. He closed his eyes and tightened his grip on you, moving so he was closer to you as he was lying on his front. "Just shut up and cuddle me." He said, smirking as he already nuzzled into your side more. You gave up, knowing you really didn't want to pass up the free offer to cuddle your favourite avenger for a bit longer. Maybe Christmas without your family wouldn't be so bad after all.

#sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #sam #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson oneshot #sam x reader #avengers #marvel oneshot #can i marry him #x reader

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years ago

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Yours, Mine, and Ours [7] Finale

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), trauma, violence, general sadness and shittiness.

This is dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You must face change.

Author Notes: I got another old series tied up and I’m editing the last chapter of another one as well. I’m trying to clear some stuff out as best I can.

A special thank you to everyone who reached out to me over the last few days. And extra thanks to @lokislastlove for always encouraging me.

Please let me know what you think, like and reblog <3 love ya

Masterlist

Bucky knelt beside you as your ass throbbed in pain and your head thrummed. He touched your arm gently with his metal hand, his other on your cheek as he cradled your face. You met his blue eyes but he quickly lifted his head and glared across the room.

“Don’t fucking move or I’ll hit you again. Harder.” His snarl was so harsh and deep, it made you shiver. He turned his attention back to you as he helped you roll over and sit up, “Are you okay? Careful…” he backed off the bed slowly as he guided you to the end of the mattress.

You clung to him and glanced over at Steve as he spat blood onto the floor. His eyes darkened and his nostrils flared as he looked back but he made no move towards you, his head lolling just slightly as he sat straight.

You let Bucky usher you to the door as he turned back and searched around the floor. He huffed and took off his jacket instead, draping it over your shoulders.

He pointed you through the door and followed, snatched the throw from the back of the couch and offered it as he urged you on. You found your purse where you dropped it and stopped to grab it, groaning at how your body ached. You continued to the door as he opened it and followed you out.

You were silent as you descended, cloaked in his jacket and the thin blanket. You came around the building and neared your car. He kept away from you but hovered as if you might keel over.

“I can’t drive,” you let your purse dangle weakly from your hand.

“I’ll take you back,” he said softly, “and then you don’t have to see me ever again.”

You nodded and rounded his car. You opened the door and slumped into the seat, your purse on your lap as you hung your head. It was over. You knew it was. You thought there would be a way to hold onto Steve, to find the man he had been, but he assured you that that Steve was gone. Everything you had was lost.

The engine turned and you barely noticed the blur of the city as it passed outside the windows. You fought against the wave of grief that swept over you and leaned your head back.

“You said I’ll never see you again,” you croaked, “but you saved me.”

“So? I did all those other things too,” he gripped the wheel and sniffed, “I’ll keep my distance. I started all this. I never should’ve-- I’m fucked. I try to act like I’m not but I am.”

“Bucky…” you said weakly.

“Don’t. I know it’s the truth and I know everything that happened to you is because of me. Steve’s an asshole. I don’t know what changed in him, but I’m worse,” he sighed, “I’m gonna resign. I’m gonna… look into rehab or therapy, whatever they got for me. I can’t stay near you or Steve. I can’t do any of it.”

You nodded and rubbed your hands together. Your body hurt but your soul hurt worse.

“No, I’m going,” you said, “I’m leaving. I’m not a hero like you or Steve. I don’t matter. And I can’t stay with him. I can’t even stay close because I know he won’t stay away. Right now, he’s getting up off that floor and you can’t tell me he’s not coming after us right now.”

Your voice cracked and you muffled it with a corner of the blanket. You hunched over as suddenly you felt nauseous and you held in a retch. Your body shook but you kept the sickness in and murmured.

“Please, just get me back,” you begged.

“I will,” he vowed, “I’ll make sure you get out and I’ll make sure he doesn’t stop you,” you heard him gulp between his words, “and after, if you ever need me to knock him on his ass again, I’ll be there. No strings, no expectations, we don’t even need to talk.”

You crossed your arms and leaned against the door, watching the pedestrians and other cars. You could only think of everything that needed to be done; grab what you can, email Tony, go back and get your car and drive without stopping.

“Shit,” you sat up as you neared the compound, “I forgot my phone.”

“Good,” Bucky said, “he’s tracking it. Get a new one.”

👥

Bucky closed the yellow taxi door and watched the cab pull out into the swell of New York traffic. She’d packed the remnants of her former life in a single backpack but he could see, she didn’t even need that. He backed away from the curb and tucked his hands into his pockets. His chest was tight and heavy. He was guilty but he didn’t feel sorry for himself. He felt sorry for her.

He was almost thrown off his feet as a hand gripped his arm and swung him around. Steve was white with anger as a vein popped out in his forehead. His lip was split and his nose bruised from Bucky’s fist. The men faced each other in mutual detest. He never expected to look at his oldest friend that way and feel it so succinctly.

“Where is she?” Steve growled.

Bucky shrugged and shouldered past him, “gone. Far from us.”

Steve followed him and stopped him before he could pass through the door. He shoved him back against the façade of the building but Bucky hardly felt it. He just stood, staring at the man he didn’t know any more, and lifted a brow.

“You gonna beat it out of me?” he asked, “then you’ll have to kill me.”

Steve’s eyes searched Bucky’s and he growled under his breath, “all you had to do was follow the fucking rules.”

“I never liked those rules. I only wanted to be close to her. It was selfish. It was abuse.”

“She liked it,” Steve snapped.

“No, you told her she liked it and she loved you so much, she believed you,” Bucky’s voice turned raw, “she loved you and you threw it all away.”

“You ruined it,” Steve accused.

“Fuck you,” Bucky snarled, “you deserve to be alone.”

“I’ll find her,” Steve curled his fingers into a fist and puffed his chest, “I know exactly where she’s going. She won’t get to her car before I do.”

“No, she will,” Bucky pushed away from the wall and grabbed the front of Steve’s shirt and pinned him, “you won’t make it past me.”

Steve narrowed his eyes and his lips thinned. He gripped Bucky’s shirt in kind and the pair rolled against the wall until they stopped in a bitter stalemate. They stared each other down as their soles scuffed on the pavement and grunted almost in unison at their opponent.

“You won’t keep me from her forever,” Steve said calmly.

“She’s not the only one leaving, Steve,” Bucky hissed, “and I won’t feel bad at all when you wake up one day and realise how lonely you are.”

👥

Your new apartment was mostly empty but it was yours, unlike that seventh floor box Steve had made your cage. It was far from him, far from Bucky, far from everyone you ever knew. You knew you couldn’t hide with your parents or your sister or even those distant university friends who you knew would have your back. You had to be alone. It was your fear of that which got you into all that mess.

You didn’t see Bucky again but he did get a message to you. He left a gift for you at a safe house on your way out of the state. New identification, an unopened cell, and a wad of cash. It wasn’t atonement but it was what he could give you. You kept driving and exchanged your car at the stateline. You kept on until you felt as if you were in an entirely different country.

You took a job at the grocery store as a cashier. You remembered when you were a child and your mother had the same position. She went back to school and made you promise you’d never end up in the same boat. If she could see you now…

If you could see her.

You dropped your bag on the side table as you entered and turned the lock on the handle and the latch above, the deadbolt over that, and hooked the chain last. You clutched the pepper spray you kept up your sleeve and searched the single bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, and the bathroom. Your paranoia was your only companion.

You kept the curtains drawn day and night, even those stolid nights when you couldn’t sleep for the thick sweat that coated your body. Those nights came more often and even during the day, you found yourself suffocated in fits of unbearable heat. And at night, you were trapped by the dreams of the past.

You sat and opened up the novel you kept on the coffee table. When you’d been with Steve, you never had much time to read between his need for attention and your work. Your relocation was freeing in more ways than one.

You laid back and wiggled, still in your stiff grocery store uniform and lost yourself in the fantasy adventure of a young warrior. It was a fight you could control; that you could win.

👥

Bucky held the position and breathed out slowly. His muscles vibrated as he strained and slowly lifted his leg, the toes of his other foot firmly planted on the mat. He turned and outstretched his arm and leg to the ceiling and inhaled. He let out another breath as he reached the next position then returned to downward-facing dog.

He pushed himself back to sit on his knees as the noise of the lapping lake reached his ears and sent a cool breeze over the dock. He pulled his legs out from under him and bent his legs as he leaned his sweaty arms over his knees. He looked out at the glistening water and listened to the noise of birds and critters.

Peace. He couldn’t call it that. Exile, more like. He didn’t trust himself to be near people. His therapist visited once a week and he attended daily video sessions with him. One of his tasks was to find hobbies and to face himself. Yoga was both of those. It cleared his hand and ate up his time.

But then he found himself wishing she was there. He knew she wasn’t in some serene lake house, she didn’t have all the support offered by SHIELD and Stark, she didn’t have anyone. He did what he could, what she would accept from him, but there was nothing he could give her in that life that would ever be enough.

Then he felt awful about those thoughts. She was never his to have.

He stood and walked up the dock and the dirt path to the house. He climbed up onto the large deck and through sliding doors. He poured himself a glass of water and added a slice of lemon. He took it with him as he went to the bedroom where he slept alone, where the shadows of trees loomed over him in the night and swayed like the wraiths of his remorse.

The white cat hopped up on the bed and twirled in expectation, in demand of his attention. He scratched Alpine’s head as he neared and got a nip when he pet him a little too long. The moody feline retreated to the corner of the bed and watched him with his pale blue eyes. The creature was his only friend now.

He took a deep gulp and sat on the edge of the bed and set the glass down. He slid open the drawer of the hand-crafted night table and dipped his fingers inside. He pulled out the pink fabric and held them in his metal hand and stroked the dainty elastic. He should get rid of them, like he had the rest, but he just couldn’t. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t. He would never forget about her.

👥

You pushed the boxes and cans over the scanner and onto the next belt so that they were carried down to the end of the counter. You smiled as you asked the usual questions and waited for the customer to punch in their pin. You waved on the next in line as the former bagged their goods and you kept the distant tune playing from the low speakers in your head.

The routine was your only comfort. It was easy. Even when you got those fussy customers, the ones with the expired coupons or the wrong flyers, it was simple work. You rang them through and saw them off without concern. Their tantrums were not the worst you’d faced in your time.

When it was your time to clock out, you stopped by the café in the same plaza as the grocery store and ordered a tall iced tea. You came out with your purse on the arm that hid the pepper spray and made your way to the end of the pavement and around the corner to the street.

At the first corner, you turned off onto a small side street then cut through to the park and passed the memorials and statues set along the winding path. It was a longer walk than your normal route but you took it once a week. You liked to watch the ducks but you had to avoid the geese.

You sipped from your straw and smiled at a dog as he passed with his owner and looked over at the kids laughing on the monkey bars. Your uniform tented in the heat of the summer sun but you pressed on, refreshed by the fruity tea.

When you emerged from the park, the grit of the small town returned. The chipped bricks of your building rose above you and you unlocked the front door after a struggle with the ancient keyhole. The door closed heavily behind you and you headed up the dingy stairs.

As you got to your apartment, you went through the usual to-do; lock, search, and settle in. Two months, maybe three, it felt so long ago and yet it felt like only yesterday. You couldn’t help but feel watched, followed, and you knew that sensation would follow you for the rest of your life. But if it was only ever a thought, you could be okay.

👥

Steve didn’t know what to do with himself at first. First, his girl left and then his best friend.

In the early days of his solace, he told himself it wasn’t true. They’d be back. They couldn’t live without him. They would apologize because they betrayed him. They would realise that he wasn’t the villain. He wasn’t wrong. He busied himself with his missions and waited.

But after two weeks, he saw no signs, heard no tell, nothing. He tried to follow her trail but there wasn’t anything past the state line. He asked where Bucky went but Stark wouldn’t tell and SHIELD kept that information classified from all, even him.

Then, he felt bad and he lingered on those questions that tugged at his mind. Was he wrong? Was he the bad one? Had he really hurt them? Did he deserve it all? He felt awful and fell through on a mission and no one asked any questions. No one knew the reasons for the sudden departures and the downcast captain.

Then he was mad. He was breaking things. He was growling and shouting in frustration. He ripped a door off its hinges and punched a hole through a wall. He paid for the repairs but was told in no short terms to leave the compound. He was all too happy too. He still had that apartment and it wasn’t too bad being in his own space.

But it made him think of her. And as he thought of her, he missed another mission, this time without telling anyone. Phone calls, emails, knocks on his door, they all muddled together in the haze of his thoughts.

He remembered those days, decades ago when Bucky had been his only friend. When he was a boy, when he still felt young, when he still felt like him. He remembered everything that came after and how he fought to save the only man he ever admired. Then everything he’d made him do. He didn’t make him do that, he gave him exactly what he wanted.

Then she made his chest squeeze. He thought of the first time they met. He didn’t think much of her but she somehow won him over with her kindness. He recalled the realisation of how much he liked her, he wasn’t even reluctant enough not to think it was love in that instant. When she saw the loose stitch in his glove and pulled it away like it was nothing. She remarked on the little fix as ‘perfect’ and he couldn’t help his doofy grin and the line he spouted after, ‘not as perfect as you.’

And as he thought of her, he conjured all those hopes he had for them. The life he made for them in his mind. He was going to give it all to her but he just wanted a little fun first. That wasn’t so bad. He could still give it to her and that was all she wanted after all. She wanted the Steve she knew. She wanted the nuclear family and white picket fence. He wanted that too.

When the papers came to announce his dismissal from SHIELD, it felt like freedom. He didn’t care about saving the world anymore. He got out of bed these days and worked out, went for a run, and came back as he went about his own work. As he searched through the servers they tried to block him from and overrode the new restrictions. They always thought he was some clueless idiot from the past.

He could still have that life. All he had to do was find her. He smiled at the screen as he went over everything he had so far. The whiff of her blew out at the stateline but now he could go wherever he wanted without a leash. He could find her if he only tried a little harder.

👥

Steve gave notice on the lease and traded in his car for something with better mileage and more space. He sold everything that was his life before and headed out on the road with a new lease on life. He wasn’t the Captain anymore, he wasn’t the saviour, he only wanted to be one thing; a husband, a father, hers.

When he reached the state line, he stopped for a while at a motel and asked around. He had her picture and everyone was all too eager to talk to Steve Rogers. He found her car at a used dealership and got the plates and make of the one he’d switched her for. That was a start.

Then he moved on, stopping along the way for a day here and there to relax. He had time. He had confidence again. He did this everyday, this was her first time, she couldn’t outrun him forever. He had the skills and the savings to get him a lot further than she ever could.

He drove through several more states before he hit another block. A second car traded but the dealer was not as talkative. That meant he had to break in after dark and that was time he didn’t feel like spending on some stubborn bitch. But he got it done and moved on.

Then there was a week of doubt and desperation. What if he was wrong? What if this was all a part of her plan? Maybe she was smart enough to lead him in the wrong direction. Maybe Bucky was helping her. Maybe they were together. That thought made him livid.

He took off in the opposite direction but ended up with nothing but desert heat and rural nothingness. He turned around and assured himself that neither of them were smarter than him. He returned to the same point and slowly pieced together the clues until he was sure enough to keep on.

He was getting close. He could sense it. He pulled out his phone and opened those videos he’d taken from Bucky and the pictures of that day they’d made a mess of her. His hand was nothing compared to her and even if he came, he found himself dissatisfied. He ended up cursing only to start again a minute later.

That night he started in the bed then ended up in the shower and before he could get out of the bathroom, he was gripping his dick as he leaned on the counter and muttered her name over and over. He was impatient. He needed her soon or he was going to go mad.

He hardly slept as he tossed and turned in the hotel room. He checked out early but pulled over on the country road to get off again. It made him angry. She should be the one fucking him, he shouldn’t be using his own hand. He shouldn’t be alone. She should be there with his dick down her throat as he drove them to their suburban paradise.

He passed another city sign and spent a day running circles without a catch. He pressed on through the night, not wanting another motel bed, and pulled in at a station just outside a small town. He gassed up and chewed on jerky as he set out once more.

On a whim, he stopped in the small town and stopped for a meal at the local fish and chip place. It was unusual for the area but the fries were crispy and not overly salted and the fish breaded perfectly. He kept his hat on and his face down. He didn’t need to be recognized although his poor disguise seemed to draw attention.

“Louise,” the voice chimed with the bell, “gosh, I’m so sorry, I almost forgot.”

Steve looked up as his heart fluttered. He saw the green uniform shirt and black pants and at first, he was ready to deflate. But the way she walked, and her face, the way she glowed and smiled at the woman behind the till, he knew it was her. He’d found her.

“I am so stupid! I keep forgetting everything,” she counted out the money from her wallet, “I’ve been craving this all week and I’m halfway home and I’m like oh my god,” she chattered on, that way she did when they’d first met.

“Not at all, darlin’,” Louise handed her the parcel of fish and chips, “you go on enjoy.”

“Thank you!” she sang sweetly and scurried back through the door.

Steve stood slowly and left his tab on the table with a thoughtlessly generous tip. He adjusted his cap and headed out the door slowly. She wasn’t moving as fast as she made her way down the street. She swung the tied parcel from her hand and he noticed how her hips swayed. There was something different about her, something he liked.

He kept the same pace, sure to hang back so that she didn’t notice him. She led him through a park and she stopped to smile at a party of ducks in the small pond. She carried on over the small bridge and he sat on a bench when she looked back. She didn’t seem to notice as an older couple passed him and he hid behind them.

He got back up just as she was at the exit. He trailed her back to the streets and to an old brick building with an iron sign above the front door. She let herself in and he stood outside with a smirk.

“Perfect,” he said to himself as he backed away and strode down the sidewalk, “always so perfect for me.”

426 notes · View notes

blackmist111 · 5 years ago

Text

Present

Warnings: swearing, self-degrading, injured, a bit blood, cheating, angst and shitty fic.

Word Count: 4565

A/N: This is my first fic. It’s shitty and bad. So….be kind! or be mean lol idk. Let me know what you think. So, this is bad because a) I’m not a writer, b) I’m not the type of a person that is good at describing feelings. I can feel things but not good at telling or describing them lol. Btw, I do not take requests. This is just an idea that has been in my head for like…forever I think. Forgive me if there’s any grammar error. Also! I was listening to The Christmas Song (Amazon Original) by JoJo while writing this (pretty fucked up of me writing angst fic while listening to a happy song lol). And Merry Christmas!

Notes: Reader is Jensen’s sister from The Losers. And the conversation between Natasha and Bucky is from American Horror Story : Hotel.

Summary: You got an early Christmas gift this year.

They are all blindly coming towards ‘you’ right now. Stupid. Smiling as you check all their cameras and leader’s coms in this cozy small café. Everything is going smoothly as you planned. Going on a mission like this really annoyed you because it takes patients, lots of plans and doing undercover. It’s not like you can’t do it, come on, you were trained by SHIELD and some of your fellow Avengers.

Watching them all went to one of the bunkers, hallways full of guarded armies ready to shoot. And with one click, all of that place explodes. Now their army’s busy dealing with that, all you gotta do is go to their leader and take the most dangerous microchip that can make the whole world chaos.

You pack your laptop and stuff, and pay your coffee. Your specialty is hacking, like your brother, Jensen. Only he’s more into military and you used to work at a tech company. The reason you being an Avenger was you hacked into SHIELD system after Loki’s tragedy in New York, trying to know who are these super heroes. Read all their information that you’re not supposed to know. And also stole three millions from Tony Stark. What? That man’s loaded anyway. One day before you’re going to work, suddenly all the electricity at your apartment were cut out. You open your bedroom door, and saw 15 SHIELD agents pointing guns at you. Turns out that nobody, NOBODY has ever hacked into SHIELD and Tony Stark system. Took 30 people to make the system unbreakable.

Turning off your car’s engine. Now you are currently at the leader’s mansion. Sneaking in from the back door to his office. Going undercover for ten months and got the access in this mansion, you memorised it like the back of your hands. Just as you thought, he is in there. knocking out the leader after taking that microchip and suddenly one of the maids saw you. Turns out she’s also a trained guard too. She picked up a knife and throws it towards you. Almost hit at your hand but you quickly turned to her and about to shoot her, but at the same time she already picked up another knife and running towards you. She threw herself at you but it’s too late for her because you already shot her. Actually it’s too late for the both of you because when you shot her, the knife is already when through your left side.

Pushing her body to the side, look down at place that you’ve been stabbed. Guess you got lucky because the cut didn’t deep enough to cause you to lose consciousness…yet. You try to stand up slowly while pressing the wound. Once you’re sure you can stand up properly, you making your way out of there.

“I got the chip and get Carlos ready with his medkit” you inform while driving. “Copy that. We’re almost there” after that, tossing the phone aside and place your hand on the wound. “Great. Just….great. Now how am I supposed to go to that party” talking to yourself.

When you arrive at the meeting point, the Quinjet is already there waiting for you. After you safely got in the Quinjet, Agent Carlos immediately by your side helping you to the chair that’s already look like a small bed. You don’t know how he did that but it is a bed now.

“Where is it?” Carlos asked, while his eyes searching you body.

“On my left side. Just a small stab” you chuckled “but you better hurry up ‘cause I’m starting to feel kinda dizzy”

Carlos help you laying down and getting started to treat your wound.

“Can you believe Stefani did this?”

“No way. I thought you were cool with her?” Carlos shocked.

“Uh uh. Swear to god, I think she was a ninja or something”

“A hot ninja” Carlos smirk at you. “Come on, man. She stabbed me” you whine. “Now, be gentle! It’s starting to hurt” you told him.

“I am! Now quiet”

After feeling like forever, you can’t stand the dead silent around you. So, you raise your head a little bit so that you can see Agent Kevin that’s flying the Quinjet. “Hey Kevin, would you please turn on some Christmas jazz or Christmas song or anything? I don’t wanna pass out in this dead silent” without wasting time, Kevin did what you asked him.

“You think we can make it to the party?” You asked to both of them.

“Hell yeah we can” Kevin said “When I’m flying, you bet your ass you’re gonna make it either early or on time” Kevin smiling at both of you and Carlos.

You don’t know how long you have been passed out but you wake up when Quinjet’s landing. Slowly you get up, you winced when you feel the pain on your side.

“Careful there. Y/n, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go to the party” Carlos said concerning, followed with Kevin said 'yeah’ behind, agreeing with him. “You need to get check that up in medbay” Kevin continue.

“No no no. It’s Christmas eve’s party guys. Pretty sure it’s gonna be awesome and I miss my girl” you smile at them, already making your way out of the Quinjet “plus, I think you patched me up quite good. Look!” With that, you do a lousy 'heel click’ jump they ever see.

Groaning, you immediately regret doing that. Both of them just sighs and follow you into the building.

After you cleaned yourself up, you making your way to the party wearing a simple cream thin turtleneck tuck in a navy pantsuit and white sneakers. When you got there the party is on full swing, some of them dancing, chatting and at the bar. You’re trying to look for your friends and your girlfriend, finally you found Steve, Bruce and Maria at the bar.

“Hey guys!”

“Y/n! You’re back!” Maria hugging you. “good to see you, y/n” Steve raising his glass at you. The four of you ended up chatting for awhile until Steve and Maria excuse themselves and left you with Bruce.

“So y/n, are you…okay?” Bruce asked you while sipping his drink.

“Of course. Why are you asking?” You asked back confusedly.

“Because since you got here, I saw that you’re always kept placing your right hand to your side” Bruce placing his drink on the counter. His attention is fully on you now.

You sigh. There’s nothing to hide you guess, and told him about your wound. Bruce almost drag you out of the party but you made sure that you are indeed okay. Sure, you still feel the pain and kinda dizzy but you’re missed too much of being home and not to forget, your girlfriend. Speaking of girlfriend, you ask Bruce about Natasha “do you happen to see Natasha, Bruce?”

“No…but before you came here I thought I saw her talking with some agents” Bruce looking around trying to find her.

“Oh okay. Well, I think I’m gonna look for her. See ya, green guy”

“A-are you SURE you’re okay?”

“100%! Don’t worry about me. Let’s just enjoy the party, pleaseee? It’s been like, what? 10 months?” you smiling at him “but-”

“Come on! It’s Christmas, Bruce. Enjoy a little bit” you cutting him and then leave to look for your girlfriend.

After 15 minutes asking your friends where is Natasha, you took a seat at the bar. “Can I have an ice water, please?” You asked, the bartender nodded and give you your order. All these walking and talking making you feel exhausted and thirsty “You look like you’re lost. Looking for someone?” The bartender asked.

You drink half of your water with a one gulp. “Actually, yeah. I’m looking for Natasha Romanoff, have you seen her?”

“I think I saw her, like 10 minutes ago. She left and went to that way and up” he’s pointing at the stairs behind you.

“Oh thanks! And the water too” with that information, you went up to the stairs. Looks like it’s gonna be a long night you think. 10 minutes looking for her in these meeting rooms and debriefing rooms, you stop for awhile and went to your office. Where is she? Is she playing hide and seek with me? You thought. Sitting at your office desk, sighing but winced at the pain, you look down at your sweater and found that there’s blood on it. You pull it up and see that the cut starts to bleed a little and blood soaks through the bandage and your sweater. Guess I really need to go to medbay. You thought. Pulling it down, you log on to your computer. Still not giving up, you went into a security cameras and looking 20 minutes before you arrived at you office.

Finally, you see her in the footage. It’s true she went to the stairs but she took the elevator to her room. With that, not wasting any time you get up and going to her room. You and Natasha has been together for almost two years and the mission you just got back took you 10 months without contact anyone except your backup, Carlos and Kevin. Forget this wound 'cause you’re missing your girlfriend like crazy. Your relationship is still not on the 'share a room’ level but when you were on that last mission, you actually thought maybe you could ask her.

Natasha is the first person that actually care about you. Not like your exes. They used you either for their ego boost or sex and most of them are narsissists. But Natasha, she cares about you, she listens and remember the little things about you that even you, don’t even realize that you always do. And it makes you for the first time feel appreciated by someone that actually loves you back. Not just one sided.

It usually took you at least three minutes to her room from your office. But this time seems like three hours. Maybe it’s just a dizzy thinking. You thought. Arrived at her room, you heard loud music coming from her room. Knocking on her door twice still no answer. Maybe she’s taking a shower. You thought.

You open the door slowly, you hear heavy breathing. What is this song Nat’s been listening to? You thought. And then, moans….you hear moans. You went in two feet from the door, and saw Natasha straddling and grinding on a guy in her bed. Both of them naked. You don’t know what to say or even do anything. That guy. That guy has a metal arm. You don’t know much guys that has a metal arm.

“Nat….” You whispered. You immediately get out from that room. Went to the elevator and pressing the first floor button. The dizzy have became a headache and you’re sweating but at the same time you feel cold. Besides that, you’re supposed to, you know, crying? Because you just saw your girlfriend cheating on you with your friend.

You’re not the angry or emotional type of person. But this is the time you’re supposed to cry or angry or FEEL something. You feel numb. Making your way out from the elevator to the front door. You need to get out from here. Now.

“Y/n?” Ugh not now. You thought. You keep walking to the door.

“Hey, are you okay?” It’s Bruce that found you here. “I’m okay, Bruce” He walks and stand in front of you, blocking your way. “Y/n, you look so pale” he’s putting his hands on your shoulders trying to get a better look at you “oh my god. You’re burning up, y/n” he said that after putting the back of his hand on your forehead.

“Let’s get you to the medbay” he’s about to guide you back to the elevator. But you immediately protest by squeezing his arm. “Please. Not here, Bruce. Please. Not in this buildin-” without finishing the sentence, you pass out in Bruce’s arms.

Opening your eyes, you realized that you’re not in medbay or in your room. This is someone else’s room. You began to panic and started to get up in a sitting position but winced at the pain on your side.

“You shouldn’t do that” Bruce walking in the room with a glass and a water bottle in his hands. Putting them on the bedside table, he’s sitting on the bed beside you.

“Where am I?” You asked him with a hoarse voice. Hearing that, he turned to the bedside table took the water bottle, pour it into the glass and hand it to you. “You’re at my place right now” watching you drink “you’ve been passed out for almost two days. And I already treat your cut and changed the bandage” Bruce explained to you.

Hearing this makes you feel a little relieved until “did you tell anyone?”

Bruce sighs.

“Bruce”

“No, y/n. I don’t because before you passed out, you looked so pale and you’re kinda begging me not to go to that building” you exhale loudly, closing your eyes feeling fully relieved.

“Y/n. Do you want to tell me why you’re avoiding that place?”

You close your eyes for a moment. Besides Natasha, Bruce is the closest friend to you. And that is why he did exactly what you told him before you passed out.

“Its okay if you’re not ready. I underst-”

“She cheated on me” the tears started to gather in your eyes. Trying to hold it by clenching your jaw, while looking at the wall in front of you. Your vision was blurry and it was difficult for you to see clearly

Silence.

Bruce looking you at shocked. There’s a million questions that he wants to ask but refuse to do so because looks like you’re not finish. A minute after a silence, finally you look at him “she cheated on me, Bruce” your voice crack. Tears slowly spilled over the sides of your eyes. Bruce holding your hands.

“With who?”

You sniffled, still trying to look strong. “Bucky” you whispered, looking at him. Bruce slowly pulling you hands and hugging you. “I’m so sorry, y/n” he comforts you. Pulling away from him, wiping your tears.

“You know, a small part of me already knew that this is gonna happen. It’s because I always have this bad luck when it comes to love. I don’t know what have I done wrong but when I think of it maybe it’s me. I’m the problem. I didn’t pay attention to her, hell I can’t even give what Bucky’s can, to make her full. I-I’m still not ready to do that stage in this relationship. After all these years, all my exes used me. I even told her about that and she said she’s completely understand and willing to wait. I loved her, Bruce. So much. Seeing her with him on her bed, I….I-I don’t know. When we were making it official, I know its too good to be true. Look at her. And look at me. She’s way WAY out of my league. And Bucky…they have so much in common. Make sense now. I was too stupid too realize it. To think that I have a chance with her. Stupid, useless, hopeless piece of shi-”

“Stop. Stop right there” Bruce cutting you off your rambling. Listening to what you’ve just said making his blood boiled “You are not stupid or anything that you said. You’re not the one to blame here, y/n. They are. And they’re gonna pay for what they did to you” Bruce told you angrily and his voice crack almost turning to Hulk’s voice.

Hearing this, you saw his veins starting to turn green too. And immediately holding his hands to keep him calm. “No no. Breathe, Bruce. Breathe” you tried to calm him down. He took a couple of deep breaths and rubbing his temples. “It’s okay. I don’t want to hurt anybody”

“But you’re hurting, y/n”

“I know…but it’s alright. I’ve dealt with this many times before. I can do it one more” you smile at him but all he sees is a broken smile with tears in your eyes. “So,” sniffing and wiping the remaining tears on your cheeks “how was you Christmas?”

“It was uh…it was good I guess” he said, sighing “and thanks to you because if you’re not here I guess I’ll be spending Christmas here alone” giving you a small smile.

“I’m sorry I’ve ruined your Christmas”

“No, you’re not. You never ruin anything. Come here” Bruce pulling you for a hug.

“It’s been three weeks, y/n. I think she’s getting suspicious and worry” Bruce said while both of you having breakfast.

“She even interrogating two agents that went to the same mission with you” hearing this, you only chuckled. Poor those two bastards. “Did she ask you anything?”

“Yeah, asked me if I saw you. I only said that I talked to you during that party. Steve also were there too to confirm that” he inform you, while cutting his pancakes to pieces.

Both of you talk about anything else after that. By the time you both finished breakfast, Bruce getting ready to go to Avengers Facility. And you hopping on the couch with your laptop, ready to watch your favorite show. “Alright. I’ll see you in…I’ll see you when I see you” smiling at you.

“Okay. Don’t forget to eat, Bruce” with that Bruce making his way to the door and off to work.

It’s 1 pm and you’re feeling bored. You got out from the couch and searching for some snacks and return back to your laptop. Staring at your laptop, you’ve thought about this since last week but can’t seem to do it. Hacking the Avengers building’s security cameras.

Feeling hesitant for a moment but when you think of it, there’s nothing harm doing it. It’s just a normal day for you, for them. Nothing’s weird gonna happen. You began your work hacking into the system. Took you five minutes to made into the system without they tracking you.

First, you see Steve training with Wanda. And then you move to another camera and saw Maria having a meeting with agents in the meeting room. Seems pretty normal. You’re about to move to the kitchen’s camera but accidentally move to another meeting room’s camera. That’s when you saw Natasha and Bucky debriefing agents in a bigger meeting room.

You feel like your heart stops beating. Seeing her for the first time after that incident with him makes you stop breathing and the world suddenly becomes five times slower. Turning up the sound a little bit so you can hear what they’re talking about. And hearing her voice makes it even worse. That voice used to be the most favorite sound of your entire life. For three weeks you’ve been avoiding this feeling, avoid all the tears, trying to be strong. Even Bruce worry about you not crying or screaming or something. You’re just sitting here, alone, staring and not talking. Bruce find it really disturbing that you’re acting so calm.

But you’re not calm. There’s so many emotions that are fighting in you and begging you to let it all out after all these years of being used. No, that’s a weak person would do. Emotions.

After 30 minutes watching them with tears on your cheeks, all agents finally done with the meeting and making their way out from there except Natasha and Bucky.

She followed the last agent to the door, closed it and locked. Wiping the tears on your eyes for you to see clearly. She turned around and walking back to Bucky. “How’s everything with y/n? Any sign of her?”

“Still nothing. Couldn’t find her anywhere. Seems like she’s disappeared” Natasha sighed, Bucky turning to her “Hey, it’s going be okay, Nat. Probably she’s on another mission?”

“No, she’s not. Agent Carlos and Agent Kevin’s reports said that she were injured during that mission. Even Steve and Bruce talked to her at the party” she said, frustrated.

“It’s going to be alright. She’ll turn up anytime soon, hm?” Bucky looking at her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I-I’m just….worry” she hugging Bucky.

Bucky hug her back but after that his hand move down to squeeze her ass. “Mmm I love it when you do that” she said. They began kissing passionately until Natasha slowly pulling away “and love that too” pecking his lips “everything” she smiling at him.

“But I thought you love y/n”

“I do love her. But at the same time you make me feel woman enough when I’m with you” Natasha explained.

“Natalia…you are woman enough for me. When I look at you, I see something of my vanished world”

“We can have that world again. Right now” with that they’re both started to kiss each other and you slam your laptop screen closed. Crying your eyes out like there is no tomorrow.

You wake up and your surrounding is dark. You fell asleep, exhausted after crying. Looking at the clock, it’s 12 am. Getting up and go to the kitchen drinking some water. Looking for something to eat but guess this morning’s breakfast was the last supply that Bruce have. You have to eat something because when your stomach’s empty, you’re going to get a headache and that’s the last thing you want. So, moving to bathroom washing your face. Remove tears stains. Looking at your pathetic self in the mirror that can’t make Natasha woman enough. Worthless. You sighed and take your phone dialing Bruce’s number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, when you’re gonna get home?”

“Uh probably late or just gonna crash here. Whats up?”

“Oh cool. Just letting you know that, there’s no food here!”

“Shit. I forgot”

“The hell you are!” You heard Bruce chuckled.

“Okay okay. Listen, there’s a 24 hours convenience store around the block. Buy anything you want, there’s some cash in the bowl beside the tv. Or order a pizza if you want”

Looking at the tv, you saw there is a bowl. Walking there, you took out the cash and count it. There’s four hundred bucks. More than enough. “Found it! Alright I’m going out”

“Be careful, okay” after that both of you said goodbye. Picking up you jacket and walking out the door to the convenience store.

Walking outside really make you head feels a little bit clear. Even though, your heart still hurts. She’s happy now, y/n. You’re just in her way. You thought. In the store, picking out some snacks, sodas and a couple packs of ramen. Wow, what are you? A college student? You’re at the candy isle still couldn’t decide what chocolate brand you’re gonna buy, there’s a boy not too far from you. Looks like he’s 10 years old, looking at all the candies in front of him.

He picked one of them and immediately putting it in his jacket. When he’s about to do the same, you walked to him “Stop” putting your hand on his shoulder. He turned around, eyes wide from shocked that he got caught shoplifting. You asked him why he did it, and he told you that he’s so hungry and there’s no food at home and he lives with his grandpa. His grandpa only can afford a meal for a day. Hearing this, makes your heart broken even more and told him to empty his pockets. And take anything he needs, and you’re gonna pay for him.

He hugged you and says 'thank you’ to you like 20 times, non-stop. You chuckled. “What’s your name, kid?”

“Lucas”

Both of you picking out things that you both needed together. When you’re about to walk to the cashier with Lucas, you see a man holding out a gun at the cashier. “Now and make it quick!”

The robber probably thinks that the store was empty because he didn’t see both of you not too far behind him. You’re about to take a step towards the robber but Lucas pulling back your hand. You look back at him, he’s shaking his head trying to tell you that its a bad idea what you are about to do. Seeing this, you handing him your cash “here, take this. Once I got his attention, you get some help” he quickly nodding his head. “Now go hide” Lucas turned away but you pull him back “and please. No more stealing”

“I promise” with that, he went back to hiding from the robber’s sight.

Slowly you making your way behind the robber, kicking the back of his knee and smacking your elbow to his head making him fall to the ground. But the gun is still in his hand. Stepping on his hand to make him let go of the gun. “Now, Lucas!”

The boy immediately ran out of the store, looking for help. Kicking away the gun from him and making sure the cashier is alright but once the cashier about to answer, the robber got up and body-slamming you to the ground. Unfortunately, your head hit the ground first, made you feel kinda dizzy and a bit disoriented. But you shake it off and got up. You tried to punch him but he dodged it and punch you in your stomach so hard that you fell on your back. The cashier turn on the alarm and hearing this, the robber panicked and hit the cashier until his unconscious. And he picked up his gun, pointing at you “stay down! Or imma shoot you!”

You slowly get up, holding up your hands out in front of you “you don’t have to do this”

“Shut up!”

“Don’t do it-”

Bang.

The robber ran away after he shot you. You feel slight stinging and look down at your stomach there’s a blood pouring out through your shirt. You started to slowly stumbling backwards and fell while holding your stomach. So here you are sitting down, putting a pressure down to your stomach. Suddenly you remembered what your brother told you what it feels like when he got shot “just a little pinch. Nothing’s hurt” his voice echoing in your head.

The thing is, this is nothing like a pinch at all. You feel burning radiating through your core. As you sitting there waiting for help to come, you began fading in and out of consciousness. Finally you saw Lucas coming in rushing beside you.

“Hold on, okay. The help is coming”

“Thanks, kid” you smiled at him “but I don’t think I’m gonna make it” you groan, the burning in your stomach started to feel worse.

“No no. H-hold on a little bit. They’re gonna be here any second”

You’re trying to hold on but his voice is getting further and further. And your eyes started to feel so heavy. This is it. You thought. There’s nothing you regret if you let go. Your brother’s taking a good care of your niece. Your friends are happy, Natasha is happy now. Lucas have the money that he can survive without having to steal again. Everyone around you is in good hand. With that one last thought, you took one last deep breath and follow into the darkness.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #avengers #natasha romanoff fanfic #marvel #natasha romanoff x y/n #black widow imagine #this is bad i have warned you #present #christmas #christmas presents

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softbiker · 5 years ago

Text

Born to Run - Chapter 2

Warnings: some language, secondhand embarrassment

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: What a gif to use amirite ;) Thank y’all so much for your responses to the first chapter! It was so encouraging, which is why I’m 2 chapters ahead on the writing for this fic lol. So keep telling me what you think! <3

“We have a few appointments set for today,” Charlotte, the front desk nurse, was saying. “But they’re just wellness checkups, so nothing crazy.”

Y/N nodded, tucking a pen into the pocket of her lab coat. “So these are regular patients?”

Charlotte nodded. “Yep, the usual. It’s a small town, so you’ll see the same faces plenty while you’re here.” She sipped water from her large tumbler as she pulled a floral desk calendar from under her keyboard. “But we also provide some urgent care services, since it’s a 30 minute drive to the nearest emergency room. So don’t be surprised when we get some walk-ins.”

“That’s alright I guess,” Y/N shrugged. “Good to stay busy.”

To say she was nervous about her first real day as a real doctor would be an understatement. Sure, she wouldn’t have many patients - not in a primary care clinic in the middle of nowhere - and the stakes were probably low, but still. She had tossed and turned the night before, eventually hopping out of bed at 5:00 am and slipping her running shoes on. Jogging through her little neighborhood and down the highway for an hour or so before dawn had transferred her first day jitters into adrenaline, but she couldn’t distract herself now. This was the real deal.

But it turned out the real deal moved at a glacial pace - at least in a town like this. Y/N saw a grand total of 5 patients, all of whom were in mostly good health, with the exception of one boil that needed lancing. The rest were just fine, a bit chatty when they met their new doctor, undoubtedly a subject of town gossip. They were eager to fill her in on the local news and suggest churches and social clubs for her to try. She nodded and made noncommittal comments to every invitation. No unscheduled patients had wandered in either, so she had far too much down time to sit in her office and refresh her inbox, waiting for emails from friends and former colleagues as they all settled in to new lives and new cities and new hospitals. None came.

Y/N sighed as she climbed into her car, and leaned her head back against the seat. Doing nothing was almost more exhausting than being busy. She just wanted to get home, pour a glass of wine, and lay around on her couch. And eat dinner. Which she would have to cook...with groceries she didn’t have. Fuck.

Grocery store it is.

Even a remote town like this one managed to have a Walmart somehow - not a huge one, but big enough to have the necessities. The fluorescent lighting made the inside of the store look dingy and gray, desperately in need of a remodel. Y/N pushed her cart up and down the aisles, grabbing items at random now that her growling stomach made everything look appetizing. She made sure she had quick ingredients for the night’s dinner - a simple chicken spaghetti, a mouthwatering recipe from her best friend.

She turned up the baking aisle, ready to head back to the front of the store. While mentally calculating the time left standing between now and her dinner, a box on the right caught her eye. Top shelf. Brownie mix. Supreme fudge. Oh hell yeah.

The shelf seemed a little high at first glance, but surely they wouldn’t put common items like brownie mix out of reach of the customer? Y/N left her cart parked in the middle of the aisle and stepped up to the shelf, lifting up on her tiptoes and stretching her arm as far as she could. The tips of her fingers could just touch the bottom of the box, but it wasn’t enough to get a grip on it. Tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth, she strained harder, her other hand gripping the lower shelves for support. No dice.

A little grunt of frustration passed her lips and she stepped back, hands on her hips. Now it was just a matter of pride - she couldn’t just give up and walk away from these brownies. That was more pathetic than buying them and eating the batter alone in her kitchen, which was her original plan. With a sigh, she stepped back up to the shelf and jumped, trying to knock the box over into her hand. The first attempt failed, as did the second, but on the third she managed to tap the box enough to make one corner stick out a quarter inch over the edge of the shelf. Just as she was preparing for one last jump to claim her prize, she heard a throat clearing behind her.

She whipped around, feeling exposed as she had left her dignity behind before the first desperate hop for her brownie mix. Her cheeks burned even hotter as she met the eyes of her witness...her very tall, handsome witness. Broad shoulders under a buttery soft leather jacket, his long hair brushing the collar and

Oh shit that’s my neighbor

“Um,” he smiled, shifting his weight. “Do you need some help with that?” He gestured to the frustrating box on the top shelf.

Y/N’s brain needed a moment to catch up - she hadn’t yet seen him this close, hadn’t heard his voice, hadn’t seen him at all since that one moment in the driveway on the afternoon she arrived. He was a lot to take in.

“Yeah, uh sure,” she backed up from the shelf and pointed. “It’s that one. The, um, ‘supreme fudge’ kind.”

His smile widened (was that a dimple?) and he stepped forward, easily reaching up and plucking the mix from its place. Y/N forced her eyes away from his abs as his t-shirt lifted away from the hem of his jeans. When he turned back and offered her the box, his bright blue eyes were on her face.

“Here you go. One supreme fudge,” he teased, smirk creeping up the side of his mouth. Y/N took the box with both hands and held it to her chest.

“Thanks, you’re a real life-saver,” she laughed, self-conscious.

“And here I thought that was your job?”

Y/N’s brow wrinkled, until he nodded towards her clothes and she remembered she was still wearing her scrubs.

“Oh! Right,” she wrinkled her nose in embarrassment. “Well, I definitely didn’t save any lives today, so. You’re doing better than me.”

“Hm. I doubt that.”

The conversation lulled, but he stayed planted in front of her cart. He settled his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, seeming to have no intention of leaving. Y/N took a deep breath and forged ahead.

“It’s...Mr. Barnes I think? I’m sorry I never got a first name.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Oh, it’s just, uh, just Bucky. How’d you know…?”

“Oh, Mr. Van Horn told me you were my neighbor when he gave me the keys the other day. I’m living in his mother’s house -”

“Across the street, yeah!” he blurted, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “That’s how I recognized you, I just couldn’t place it.” He shook his head, laughing at himself. “God, I’m sorry, must’ve seemed rude, I didn’t even introduce myself or ask your name.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she waved him off, sticking her hand out and giving him her name, still relishing the ‘Dr.’ title. “But you can just call me Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he repeated, his grip gentle but firm. His eyes flicked back and forth between hers, bright and searching. He took a breath to say something else, when his gaze shifted, locking on something behind her. His posture stiffened and he jerked his hand back, jaw tightening.

“See you around,” he said coldly, shoulder bumping hers as he strode past her down the aisle. Y/N turned in confusion, trying to see what had changed his mood so abruptly. But the only thing she could see at the end of the aisle was a discarded candy wrapper, soon crackled under Bucky’s heavy boot. Then he was gone.

Y/N’s lips pursed in a frustrated pout. Two strikes Barnes.

That night, as she sipped wine from her grandma bed in her grandma house, she scrolled through social media on her phone in a vain attempt to feel close to her friends. Engagement, pregnancy, travel, engagement. Scoffing, she tossed her phone to the side and hunkered down in the bed. She stared at the popcorn ceiling, tiny glitter particles glinting in the lamplight. The wine in her glass was drained to the last drop and she twirled the stem absentmindedly.

She went over the scene in the baking aisle again and again, wondering if she had said something wrong and offended Bucky somehow. His dismissal was just so strange. On a whim, she snatched up her phone again and typed his name into Facebook. A few Bucky Barnes’s, but none that looked like him. She tried Instagram and Twitter with the same result. No social media presence, in this day and age? So fucking strange.

Outside the house, an engine started up, revving a couple of times before the sound retreated down the street.

Good riddance.

#bucky x reader #bucky x reader fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes #avengers fic #avengers fanfiction #biker!bucky #biker!au

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thestuckylibrary · 5 years ago

Text

Group Ask 165

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

Hi! Do you have that one stucky fanfic or oneshot where Bucky moved into a house that Steve died in in like 1940 and he slowly fell in love with Him and he ended up bringing him back by dancing with him? I loved it but I can’t find it!

Anon, Maddie and allegra-dreams sent in dance with a ghost by crinklefries (oneshot | 11,634 | T)

cevansebb said:

do you guys know the name of that fic where there’s like 100 things steve loves about bucky? thank you

Anon sent in Fill My Lungs with Sweetness by starclipped (oneshot | 13,461 | T)

Anon 2 said:

Hi, I've tried everything and I am going crazy looking for this one fic. Basically it's post CATWS. Steve finds Bucky, and is trying to save him at Avengers Tower I think. Bruce Banner is his doctor? Bucky is really messed up, his ribs are so badly broken, they are in pieces and like floating? Thanks!

Anon 3 said:

i cant seem to find this book and was wondering if you could help :) i believe bucky and steve had a relationship before the war, but the story takes place in the present where bucky is found by the avengers but never with hydra and steve was taken by hydra at some point before and tortured but he finally got free and asked the avengers for help? and then steve told him about it in the hospital and bucky kept asking if he was okay when they were sleeping together sorry if it's too vague!!

Anon 4 said:

do you know that one modern bucky cap steve fic where they used to date then broke up then i think steve has to hide in bucky’s apartment for some reason? it’s pretty vague but i can’t remember anything else

laughing-til-we-scream said:

I had an amazing fic bookmarked and I lost it when I got a new phone! It was a no powers modern day au and it was Bucky as a veteran who joined a "write to a soldier" program and started writing to "Captain Rogers" and they wrote back and forth and video chatted and then finally get to meet when he comes home! Any chance you could help me find it 😅

Anon 5 said:

Can you please help find a fic I’ve lost? All I remember is that canon Steve was taking a college class and using the name Grant. He became friends with his classmates, who figured out his real identity, but protected him. I think he may have been in a relationship with Bucky. Any ideas? Thanks so much!

metisecret and Anon sent in sleeping lessons by glim (oneshot | 23,656 | E)

buckysxmetalxarm said:

Hey! Hope all the mods had a great holiday! I was wondering if anyone knew the Christmas fic where Steve tells his mom he has a boyfriend so he needs to find someone to bring home for the holiday & he makes a post online & says he already told his mom his bf is named James & he finds Bucky online? I remember there was a snowball fight & Bucky was an engineer and made Steve like a magnetic floating planter for Christmas? Thank you!

Anon sent in But the Fire Is so Delightful by lisainthesky (WIP | 28,604 | M)

mmy0326 said:

Looking for a fic where Steve and Bucky find a little girl at a Hydra facility who is being trained as a Winter Soldier. Bucky then finds a pregnant girl at another place who is badly beaten by Hydra; girl has her baby then dies. Baby is named Luci. Haven't been able to find it in my searches.

Anon 6 said:

Hi, I’ve checked all the tags I can think of and have searched and googled to no avail, and would be so grateful for your help! There was a fic where Bucky was a city boy lawyer and his car broke down in a small town. He takes it to Steve’s garage to fix and they kind of get off on the wrong foot. Later, Bucky’s at a bar and Brock is being homophobic, and Steve steps in and saves him. They go back to Steve’s place and end up having sex. Anybody know it? Thank you!!!

Anon sent in The Heart Wants* by perfect_plan (complete | 21,079 | M ) *period-typical homophobia

Anon 7 said:

If you could help me it would really be appreciated! It is a fic where Bucky buys a big house and takes time to recover and stuff and Thor is there for a while and him and Bucky kiss a bit. Steve is out in the world destroying HYDRA bases, murdering people, and whatnot but Bucky really wants him to settle down with him but steve says he can’t. Natasha shows him how to be a proper spy in the beginning and when she realizes how dark he’s getting she tries to stop him. And Steve has a beard. Thanks

drjezdzany and dolphinqueen10 sent in The Ghosts Of Who I Used To Be by Brenda (complete | 107,289 | M)

dark-rose-21 said:

Hey! There was a story where Bucky was a troubled teen that got sent to Steve’s farm during the summer as a punishment, but love soon entails. I can’t for the life of me remember it!

miraishu sent in Chase the Lightning From the Sky by SilverSlashes, TrishArgh (complete | 39,409 | E)

Anon 8 said:

I'm looking for a one-night-stand AU, it's after Steve's moms funeral. He starts crying when he gets alone when Bucky goes to the bathroom and i remember Bucky asking 'it wasn't your first time? you were way too good" and then he stays, and consoles Steve and the next morning they make pancakes and Bucky gives him his number if he needs friends to get through the grief. i tried looking everywhere, but I remember reading this on AO3, and it was so sweet, I hope you can help me find it again

polarisrrose said:

Hi, I'm looking for a fic but I can't find it and I can't remember the specific tags I've found it under before. It's a dimension hopping au and Steve gets stuck in a non powers au where Nat works at a University and Bucky is his husband and he's a comic artist. They think he just has amnesia and for a while he thinks he won't make it back. Sam's in it too briefly and it has a Bucky centric sequel where the winter soldier has his own adventure to another universe. Thanks for the help if you can

Anon sent in Parallels* by spoffyumi (complete | 68,641 | E) */others

Anon 9 said:

Hi guys! I remember reading a fic a long time ago where Bucky is a siren and Steve tells him that mother nature clearly loves him because she gave him tools he needed to survive. I'm pretty sure that there's a second part to the story where Steve dies and comes back as a mermaid and is scared of Bucky until Bucky unlocks memories from his last life. Does this ring a bell to any of you?

#group asks

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multi-fandom-imagines8 · 5 years ago

Text

The War Is On

Request: Can I request a Logan fic where the reader is Charles Xavier’s sister and she has just moved in to help with missions. She is also very similar to Logan in the way she acts she’s really cool like proper badass. So one night the reader goes to the kitchen to grab a beer and catches her having one of his. Smut happens? Can you make it light hearted and flirty please. Requested by anon.

A/N: I don’t really write smut, so it’s only implied.

Warnings: fighting, implied smut at the end.

Word Count: 1635.

Logan was teaching a class outside the X-Mansion when he was interrupted by a loud motor noise.The students lost their focus and a woman riding a motorcycle caught their eyes. Logan got mad when everybody stopped listening to him and gave them a five minute break to investigate.

When he reached the front entrance of the mansion, he saw you park next to his motorcycle.

“So not only did you catch my students’ attention but you’re also riding the same motorcycle and parked next to mine. What’s next? You gonna be in disguise as me?” he walked towards you.

“Could you repeat what you just said?” you took off your helmet and placed it on the motorcycle.

“What do you think you’re doing speeding up in here like you own the place?”.

“Well,... I do”.

“There are students here and you’re disrupting classes. If you have no business here then I just you be on your way”.

“Or what?”.

“You don’t want to find out”.

“But I do” you took a few steps closer to him and crossed his personal space.

“I don’t have time for this” he got uncomfortable and left.

---

“Brother! I’ve missed you” you greeted Charles.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?”.

“An old friend of yours called and informed me of the situation. Why didn’t you call me?”.

“Erik! It’s under control and I didn’t want you to put yourself in danger”.

“Well, now I’m here. So… Hey, can you tell me where the nearest gas station is? The last one I encountered was an hour away. I need some cigarettes”.

“Y/n, smoking is not allowed here. There are children for god’s sake”.

“Aha, I see. Do you by any chance happen to know who the guy with the weird dark hair, leather jacket and motorcycle is?”.

“Logan?”.

“Yeah. Can you tell me where his room is?” you pretended to know who he is.

“What for?”.

“I met him at the door and he asked if I could bring him something from his room since he has a class to teach”.

“First floor on the left. There’s a sign at the door saying don’t disturb, I’m busy and even if I’m not, I don’t want to see you”.

“classic!”.

When it was time for dinner, Erik informed you and you came down with a cigar in your hand.

You sat at the table not paying attention who was there.

“Y/n what did I tell you about smoking?” Charles reminded.

“Chill! There are no children here at the moment”.

“It’s you again. Wait, where did you get this from?” Logan asked.

“Guess” you smirked.

“Hey, that’s mine!”.

“Not anymore”.

Logan immediately went upstairs to check on what’s left of his cigars.

“Where the hell are my cigars?” he came back angry and with his claws out ready to fight.

“So that’s your mutation. Interesting! What cigars are you talking about?”.

“The ones that were in my room. You took them. Don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about”.

“I took them and I already smoked three of them. It’s good quality”.

Logan lost it and was about to attack you when Charles put himself in the middle “Logan, Calm down. I will deal with my sister”.

“Your sister? That bit- that girl is your sister? Are you sure you’re related?”.

“Unfortunately, yes”.

“Unfortunately?” you crossed your arms.

“You with me now” he ordered and you followed.

“What’s wrong with you? You haven’t been here ten hours yet and you’re already causing trouble! Return Logan’s cigars to him and leave”.

“I’m not leaving brother. This is my house too, remember? And relax, I only wanted to teach him a lesson. He was rude to me today”.

“So, when you asked for his room it was a lie”.

“Kinda. Now can we get back? I’m starving".

“Y/n we’re not finished yet”.

“We’re finished when I say we’re finished” you left.

“Got scolded by your brother?” Logan was now calmer.

“You wish! And uhm keep talking like this and you’ll never see your cigars again”.

“How did you even know I had cigar?”.

“Charles said smoking isn’t allowed here and I could smell it all over you. I figured you keep it in your room”.

Every day, you and Logan would bicker like an old married couple. Not to mention all the teasing and mocking. Everybody could see the sexual tension between the two of you but you.

“Aah!” you yelped from the pain.

“Are you gonna cry like a little girl?” Logan mocked.

A man threw a knife at Logan while he was distracted by you “ouch!”.

“Who’s crying now?” you took the knife from his forehead and threw it back at the man.

---

“I fucking hate you!”.

“I hate you more!” he slammed the door in your face and from the anger, you went outside and deflated his tire with your knife.

The next day, he had to go somewhere and he was already late. When he tried to start the engine, he couldn’t drive “Y/n!!!!”.

“What did she do this time?” Charles was reading through the newspaper.

“You need to get your sister under control before I lose control!”.

---

“You fucking asshole!” you quickly went downstairs in search of Logan when you saw what Logan did “where is he?” you asked Charles who was talking with Hank and he signaled you.

“I’m going to kill you, so you better run!” you threatened.

“And how are you going to do that, sweetheart?” he was smoking a cigar in the backyard.

“I have an idea or two” you glared at him

“Well, then you’re welcome to try it” he smirked.

From the anger, you took the cigar out of his mouth and stumbled on it.

“Really?”.

“What are you gonna do about it?”.

“You’ll see”.

“If you ever touch my clothes again, I’ll kill you. I mean it!”.

“I’m sure you do”.

---

“Y/n, where is my motorcycle?” he stormed into your room without knocking and you were changing your clothes.

“Jesus fucking christ! Have you heard of something called manners?” you were shirtless.

“Says the thief!”.

“Get out!”.

“Not before you tell me where you hid it?”.

“Logan, get out! I’m getting dressed here!”.

“I can see that, but I’m leaving until you tell me”.

“Fine! I sold it to a guy at the bar”.

“Are you nuts?”.

“You wanted a fight, now deal with the war, honey!” you teased.

“You asked for this” he pointed a finger at you before leaving. “Oh, and I wouldn’t suggest wearing this bra, if you’re gonna meet someone. It makes you look stupid”.

“Out!” you threw the next thing you could find at him but missed.

---

“LOOOOGAN!”.

“Here they go again” Charles sighed.

“Where is that son of a bitch?” you asked Charles.

“What happened now?” he rolled his eyes.

“My room looks like an earthquake just hit it, that’s what fucking happened!”.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” you found him at the same spot you always find him in, the backyard smoking.

“I warned you”.

“The next time I see you, I’m gonna set you on fire and see what happens. Maybe that metal inside you will melt and I’ll be rid of you”.

“Ooh, I’m scared now”.

“You should be”.

---

That war between the two of you was getting out of hand. It was exhausting. You wanted it to stop but both of you were too proud to tell the other.

After an exhausting mission, you went to the kitchen to grab a beer in the middle of the night.

You were sitting on one of the counter stools sipping beer in your semi sheer pink nightgown when Logan came to the kitchen.

“Seriously? My beer? That’s your next move? Or are you out of moves? To be honest, I’m a little disappointed” he teased.

You rolled your eyes and sighed “Listen, I’m a bit tired after Today’s mission, so let’s call it a night and continue our fight another time”.

“Wow! Is that defeat I’m hearing in your voice?” he went to grab a beer from the fridge.

“Call it whatever you want. I just wanna enjoy my beer- well your beer and go to bed” you got injured during the mission and your body was full of bruises.

“Oh, you aren’t kidding” he sat on the stool next to you.

“No” you glanced at him before returning to your drink.

“So pink, huh? I never imagined you one of those girls” he smiled.

“Apparently I am”.

“Are you alright?” he saw the cuts and bruises all over your body.

“Like you care”. There was silence for a moment.

“I do. We’re teammates after all”.

“I’m fine. Unlike you, my wounds need time to heal but I’m you used to it so…”.

He took your arm to examine the wound “this must hurt”.

“A bit… Logan, what are you doing?” this was the first time the two of you sat alone and haven’t fought.

“What do you mean?”.

“I mean this. Being nice. Not fighting. Physical contact. Caring and asking about my bruises and wounds”.

Without warning he pressed his lips to yours and to your surprise you liked it. You were kissing passionately and devouring each other when you suddenly realized as you were on the counter-top that this is still a school.

“Stop, stop, stop!”.

“What is it?” he asked.

“There are students here” you reminded.

“And?”.

“We’re in the kitchen”.

“Oh…”.

“So you’re room or mine?”.

“I think we should go to mine, since I kinda destroyed yours”.

“Right. I totally forgot about that. Oh by the way, after we’re done, the war resumes”.

“Great. So I can kill you in your sleep?”.

“Not if I kill you first”.

Tags: @shymagicsworld @simonsbluee @bucky-blogs

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therealjambery · 5 years ago

Text

Long fics rec post is long

What better way to while away the time than fanfiction? Long fanfiction! And when I say long, I mean long, like so long it is three novels put together, how on earth did you find time to write this, so long it takes even me more than one day to read long. I'm irrationally jealous of all of these writers, as I am the type of writer who has a hard time dashing off 10,000 words in a timely fashion, let alone writing anything longer.

I'm using the SFWA's definition of a novel here, which is anythiing over 40,000 words.

These are all stories I've loved, and most of them I've actually got saved as PDFs so I can re-read them wherever I want. I'm digging pretty deep into the archives for this one, kids, so hold onto your hats.

Fandoms: Avengers/Marvel, Firefly, Inception, Leverage, Merlin, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek AOS, Supernatural, Torchwood

Fandom: Avengers/MCU/Marvel/Whatever we're calling it these days

in deep with you darling by topaz Author's Summary: Darcy could have, under normal circumstances, resisted the aesthetics (however awesome they are, and holy crap are they awesome), but there's an itch under her skin—apparently, nearly dying by giant, fire-breathing robots from space in the middle of Nowhere, New Mexico will start you questioning your life choices. Who knew? Main Pairing: Clint/Darcy Words: 48024

runaways are running the night by anothercover Author's Summary: Clint did like that the photo stayed private. He’s shit at social media, only on it because, you know, he has to be, but even Clint knew it was the kind of candid that was Instagrammable - #queen, #legend, #rawmemama, etcetera, ad nauseam, he’s pretty sure he could predict the comments before anyone actually typed them. (Bucky once said “raw me, mama?” to her with a goddamn straight face and Natasha’s expression of abject horror while she tried to work out if he meant it had made Clint laugh so fucking hard he was certain he’d ripped an organ in half. He still wants to find a way to work that story into his act, because on the one hand, people love it when he talks about his marriage, but it’s hard to find a way into it that doesn’t sound like he’s making fun of their fans, and that’s a big no-go.) AU: Natasha's in a band, Clint is basically John Mulaney, it's great Main Pairing: Clint/Natasha/Bucky Words: 53873

Ready, Fire, Aim 'Verse by gyzym Author's Summary: There's no "I" in "Avenger." Main Pairing: Steve/Tony Words: 63019

Ain't No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) by spitandvinegar Author's Summary: It's six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don't. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It's very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps. Main Pairing: Steve/Bucky Words: 107076

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail series by owlet Author's Summary: The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect Main Pairing: Steve/Bucky Words: 264438

Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club by sara_holmes Author's Summary: Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.)

"When Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, Clint’s first thought is that Tony Stark’s pride and joy is quickly becoming a less of a very tall and expensive ‘fuck you’ in the faces of investors who don’t believe in self-sustaining energy, and more of a superhero rehabilitation center."

Boyfriends, compromises and learning to like oneself. Main Pairing: Clint/Bucky Words: 67059

Nobody Lost, Nobody Found by ClaraxBarton Author's Summary: "Look, dude, I get it. You’re fucked-up. HYDRA fucked you up. I’ve been there. But you’re my fucking Soul Mate!"

“I can kill you. I could kill you without even realizing what I was doing. I’m not fucked-up, I’m a monster. I’m a nightmare. You can’t be here. You can’t- All the people I’ve killed- I will not murder my Soul Mate too. Not after everything else I’ve-”

Clint worked his left hand between their bodies and managed to land a punch to the man’s right side, forcing him to shift his weight, and Clint brought his right hand down on the place where the man’s metal arm met his torso - hidden by the shirt he wore, but on full display in the video Clint had watched.

The man released Clint with a grunt of pain, and Clint pressed his advantage, landing another punch to his abdomen, backing him up against the opposite side of the RV and then pressing the kitchen knife he had pocketed while cleaning up earlier to the man’s throat.

“Like I said, I’m not a Boy Scout. I’m plenty dangerous myself. We clear on that?”

OR:

This looks bad, because it is.

OR:

How Clint Barton met his Soul Mate AU: soulmates! Main Pairing: Clint/Bucky Words: 108331

Ronin!Clint 'verse by shatteredhourglass Author's Summary: “Who the fuck are you and how did you get this line?”

“I have my ways,” the voice says, amused. “Don’t worry, I’m just enjoying the view, Captain America.” Main Pairing: Clint/Bucky Words: 63266

Fandom: Firefly/Supernatural

Weight and Motion by sevenfists [note: the podfic by dodificus is excellent] Author's Summary: The pears were ripe, Kaylee told him, but Mal wouldn't eat any of them. They were a present, nestled all sweet and green in a wooden crate that a grateful passenger gave them right before they left her on Greenleaf. AU: Crossover, Dean ends up on Serenity, just roll with it Main Pairing: Mal/Dean Words: 43117

Fandom: Inception

All the World is Bullet Shaped by pushdragon Author's Summary: If Arthur thinks that, just by waving enough money around, he can get Eames to risk his life and reputation to rescue him from a death sentence, he's got another thing coming. So Eames sets a malicious, undignified price on his services, one he can be certain that a man like Arthur would never condescend to pay. It turns out to be the first of many mistakes. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 76656

I Seem to Be a Verb by Aja Author's Summary: Arthur owns a quirky hipster science bookstore. Eames is a world-famous mega-celebrity.

Clearly this calls for a meet-cute. AU: Notting Hill AU Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 93837

In Medias Res by starlingthefool Author's Summary: What's the most resilient infection? What's more infectious than a cold, deadlier than cholera? What lingers in your blood forever?

Love, of course. Mal has always known that. Her pointman Eames may dismiss her for a romantic, but for better or worse, love has gotten her this far. AU: Mirror-verse Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames, Mal/Dom Words: 52662

The Music Makers by mami_san Author's Summary: A. Graham Cole was twenty-one years old when he was killed in action in Iraq. This is the official story. The truth is, of course, somewhat different. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: I dunno, because it's not on AO3. But my PDF is 451KB so it's over 50k, most likely.

Presque Vu by rageprufrock Author's Summary: Or, "on the tip of the tongue." Arthur meets Mal first. He inherits Dom, after. Everything else is on him. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 69588

Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home) [The DomesticVerse] by gyzym Author's Summary: People you kiss in an airport baggage claim and then don't talk to for thirteen months shouldn't be able to exist, let alone make your chest do the things Arthur's chest is doing. There are rules. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 74828

Fandom: Leverage

Psychic AU series by Laughtsalot3412 Author's Summary: He had a sniper rifle scoping the girl’s bright eyes and the guy’s smile. AU: They all have psychic powers Main Pairing: OT3 Eliot/Parker/Alec Words: 89955

Fandom: Merlin

[note: look, I don't even go here. I've never watched the show. But.]

Drastically Redefining Protocol by rageprufrock Author's Summary: In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose. AU: Modern AU Main Pairing: Arthur/Merlin Words: 46,059

The Student Prince by FayJay Author's Summary: A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love... AU: Modern AU Main Pairing: Arthur/Merlin Words: 145222

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves by auburn Author's Summary: Vala Mal Doran and her partners, renegades Jehan abd-Ba'al and Meredith McKay, hijack the Tau'ri ship Prometheus and leave the Milky Way behind in search of the Lost City of the Ancients, Atlantis. AU: Space pirates! Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 180299

The Price That Life Exacts by cathalin Author's Summary:When John disappears without a trace during a routine mission, people in a beleaguered Atlantis eventually have to try to move on. Rodney never completely gives up hope of finding John, and though he soldiers on to help Atlantis, a year later he still lives every day with his grief. Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 63369

Written By the Victors by Spreranza Author's Summary: Caroll, Franklin R. Atlantis Revisited. New York and London, Routledge, 2011. Chapman, Denise. Several Kinds of Genius: The Life of Rodney McKay. NY: Harper Perennial, 2015. Croft, Rosalind. City of Spires: A Memoir. Toronto: The Mercury Press, 2009. Dugan, Paul. A Political History of Atlantis. Oxford: OUP, 2012. Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 52843

Tongues of Men and Angels by Mad_Maudlin Author's Summary: When SG-4 is ambushed offworld, an injured Major John Sheppard must put his trust in a Tok'ra agent named McKay to survive. But what secrets is McKay keeping about his mission, the planet, and his own motives for helping John? AU: They didn't go to Atlantis Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 58523

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)

The Least of All Possible Mistakes by rageprufrock Author's Summary: If ever a people deserved tasering, it’s Holmeses. Main Pairing: Lestrade/Mycroft AU: Genderbent Lestrade Words: 118096

Fandom: Supernatural

Red by Big Pink [note: seriously, this is one of my favorite fics/series ever and I have the ebooks if you want to not read this on LJ or FF.net] Author's Summary: Something evil is killing treeplanters in the forests of the Pacific Northwest, possibly the same predator that Dean narrowly escaped years before. How Grimm will things get before the brothers figure it out? Main Pairing: none Words: 81839

Fandom: Supernatural/Stargate Atlantis

And All the World Beneath by seperis Author's Summary: Dean remembers Texas as blackland stretching in marker-thick strips of vivid brown and black, broken with the sprawling metroplexes of Dallas and San Antonio and Houston; farms spread with the yellow tops of maize waving in pre-autumn winds, threshers moving complacently through the fields with drowsy men in hats waving at the road. He remembers green and gold fields dotted with cows, half-year calves running on the outskirts of the herds. He remembers these were what he saw between jobs, lives being lived that had nothing to do with creeping twilight and sleeping only behind salt circles and ritual wards. AU: Cthulhu mythos Main Pairing: Dean/John, John/Rodney Words: 67279

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Leave No Soul Behind by whochick Author's Summary: If you're Starfleet, you spend your whole life wishing you never see an EPAS uniform right up until the moment they become your only hope. Whether you're dying a slow, cold death in space, or a long painful one on some godforsaken planet, they're going to come for you. So count your last breaths, son, and hold on tight. They leave no soul behind. AU: Spock did not join Starfleet, he joined the Emergency Personnel Ambulance Service (EPAS) Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 258951

The Lotus Eaters by aldora89 Author's Summary: Stranded on the planet Sigma Nox while searching for a missing away team, Spock and Kirk find themselves pitted against a disturbing native life form. With the captain out of commission on a regular basis and Spock struggling to preserve his stoicism, staying alive is difficult enough – but when a slim chance for escape surfaces, their resolve is truly put to the test. Together they must fight for survival in the heart of an alien jungle, and in the process, uncover the mystery of the planet’s past. Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 93594

Only Good for Legends by leupagus Author's Summary: Detective Spock, born on Vulcan and resident of San Francisco, is assigned to the Midwest police bureau. I think everyone can guess what happens next. AU: Spock is a Detective. Otherwise it's pretty much the same, including Kirk's petty criminal tendencies. Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 149640

So Wise We Grow by Deastar Author's Summary: "Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week." AU: kidfic Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 81248

Switch by Ceres_Libera Author's Summary: The life and times of Leonard H. McCoy MD/PhD … If Leonard McCoy's life could get any fucking weirder, it would be … Jesus, he didn't even want to think what that could possibly mean, because it's already been too fucking weird to make any kind of rational sense. Main Pairing: Kirk/McCoy Words: 230867

Fandom: Torchwood

The Rose of Jericho by kaydeefalls Author's Summary: Post-CoE. When Martha Jones encounters a dark UNIT cover-up in the wake of the 456, it's up to Gwen's new Torchwood team to bring the truth to light -- and save Ianto. AU: alternate ending post Children of Earth Main Pairing: Jack/Ianto Words: 62606

That should keep you busy for a while, right? If you have other long fic recs, let me know in the comments/with a reblog!

#fic recs #long post is long #fanfiction #fanfic #avengers #marvel #mcu #firefly #inception #leverage #merlin #stargate atlantis #star trek #star trek reboot #star trek aos #supernatural #torchwood

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rainbowdashisthebest1 · 5 years ago

Text

Winteriron fic recs

This is a fic rec list of some of my favorite Bucky/Tony fanfiction!

They are organized and numbered in order from shortest to longest (1k-167k). There is a collective total of 36 fics on this list.

All are located on ao3 (Archive of our Own).

The word count is listed underneath the title. (for example, 14k is the same as fourteen thousand words).

I have tried my best to avoid any stories with Major Character Death or an Unhappy Ending. So you don't need to worry about those here!

If they have a little star (*) that means they are some of the more memorable ones that I have read.

ENJOY!

1~killer love

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/20646356

“Nice to finally meet you in person," Bucky said. "If you’re anything like you were over text, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

“More or less,” Tony shrugged playfully. “Just with a little more murder.”

Something dark passed over Bucky’s face, there and gone in an instant. “Murder?” he asked.

“I’m a mystery writer,” Tony explained, hands waving. “That’s why my search history was so bizarre, you know? Gotta do my research and all that. What do you do?”

“I work in forensics,” Bucky replied after a beat.

Tony breathed out a sigh of relief. “Oh, good,” he said. “For a second there, I thought you were a serial killer or something.”

2~Like me better

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17636204

For almost a fraction of a second, Tony thinks this is it – Barnes isn’t attractive anymore, he’s not some badass bad boy; he’s a giant squishy nerd – he isn’t hot. I don’t want to take his pants off with my teeth, I don’t want to lick my way down his body and I don’t want him hoisting me up and fucking me against a wall – no, sir, I – am a giant fucking liar.

3~suicidal stolen art

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/20134036

Tony was going to kill Bucky Barnes. Tony was going to cut the other thief’s flesh arm off and beat him with it. It was bad enough that they were both running jobs in the same building, but they had to be going for the same necklace, too.

Really, the universe hated Tony. He stared at the ceiling, sending up a very nasty prayer in case someone was listening, then turned back to the job at hand.

4~Bad Days

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/11971314

Bucky likes Tony, but is too scared to tell him. What he doesn't know is that every time he has a "winter soldier" moment, he is constantly protecting tony and not letting anyone near him, so tony already knows that Bucky likes him ("genius, remember?"). Bucky finally gets up the courage to talk to Tony, only for Tony to tell him what's been going on and he's been waiting for Bucky to be comfortable enough to actually tell him.

5~Bad Scoping Mechanisms

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20607554

Like, the general public hates Tony Stark for having been a weapons manufacturer but actually he was pretty popular while he was still in the weapons industry so one wonders, who would have been a fan of Stark Industries before Afghanistan? Military, alphabet agencies, private security, hitmen and assassins? ...Hydra assassins?

-In which the Winter Soldier, aka Bucky Barnes, is an avid fan of Tony Stark for reasons.-

6~Sometimes Life Happens

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/4376774 Prompt: Imagine Tony and Bucky where Bucky works for the Russian mob and he hijacks Tony's car with Tony still in it to run from the cops. Tony wants to be mad, but really, he was sort of bored anyways and hang on, this guy's deadly, hot, and he has an awesome f*cking arm. Maybe this hostage thing isn't so bad after all.

Tony hadn’t necessarily been looking for further proof of his maladjusted—one might even argue self-destructive—approach to problems, but sometimes life happened, and you didn’t have any choice but to take a long, hard look at yourself. Sometimes, you’re sitting in your car, staring into your recently emptied coffee cup, contemplating whether or not you really want to do this whole “leading a responsible life” thing anymore, and a guy with a gun slides into your passenger seat. Sometimes, that’s just the way your Monday goes.

7~Tell Me Your Name, I Need To Know

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19907770

Tony is overworked and underappreciated, always pushing his limits and not taking care of himself well; but someone decides to take care of Tony for a change.

Tony just wishes he knew who it was.

8~Nightmare Dressed Like a Daydream

3k https://archiveofourown.org/works/17322914 Bucky accidentally crashes a blind date and he's not all that sorry about it.

9~Arm(s) Dealer

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/20869010

Just Tony being totally oblivious of Bucky being his fanboy and Bucky trying to 'play it cool' and kind of failing at it and coming across as kind of a weirdo.

-In which Tony slowly but surely realizes Bucky is his biggest fan. Slowly though.-

10~Warmth

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543758 The day Bucky realizes that the Winter Soldier is in love with Tony Stark, he nearly brains himself on the doorway between his room and the rest of Stevie’s floor.

Because that’s the thing, he’s somehow not noticed, despite sharing a headspace with him. It’s been a team-wide question since Bucky came in from the cold as to why the Soldier spends so much time with Stark, and even Bucky’s been unable to answer, though now he’s just unwilling. The Soldier is in love with Stark. He’s the sun, the Soldier thinks. How the hell is this Bucky’s life?

11~How to Survive a Haunted House

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19070833

“Lord save me from crazy white boys,” were probably going to be Rhodey’s last words. He didn’t care what his friend said; this place was haunted, and they were both gonna end up dead because Tony was too taken in by the ample closet space.

A fanfiction based on a popular twitter thread.

12~How to get away with (murder) Tony*

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/13516308 All Bucky wants is five minutes alone with Tony - is that really too much to ask? Yes, it is, at least according to the rest of the Avengers that made it their mission to never leave him alone with the engineer for whatever reason. So if he ever wants to make his moves, he's going to have to employ every single one of his assassin training techniques and more. And he better do it fast, before the annoyed Winter Soldier takes over and just kills the meddling fools. Naturally, Tony is completely oblivious to the entire situation until a mysterious note leads him to the most unlikely of places - McDonald's.

13~forgiveness (can you imagine)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17585558

bucky gets called back to the states so the man whose parents he killed can help him fix what has been unmade

he never expected tony stark's massive capacity for forgiveness to remake him

14~Not a Competition

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/16951419

Steve Rogers has been trying to force himself back into Tony's life, despite the fact that Tony no longer wants him there. Bucky makes some mistakes but tries his best to keep Tony safe and away from Steve's unwanted advances.

Features clear communication between Bucky and Tony, Tony learning about healthy relationships, a realistic approach to jealousy, and a potential bash down of Captain America.

15~These Sleepless Nights of Ours

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/19971652

It's another sleepless night and no one is around to keep Tony company. That is until he wanders into the Compound gardens and finds an insomniac Winter Soldier in desperate need of a hug.

16~Today's Forecast*

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/6830737

Loneliness had followed Tony Stark his entire life, so they were on pretty good terms. Ignoring those empty places inside of himself was easier once the day was in full swing, but the mornings had a way of slipping a knife between his ribs and getting him right in the heart.

The last place Tony expected to find the cure for his condition was on TV, but now watching the morning weather report has become the highlight of his day. Well, it was less the weather, and more the weatherman. One look at Bucky Barnes making some adorably lame joke about umbrellas, all lopsided smile and sparkling eyes, and Tony was in love.

17~This Ship (Ain't Never Ginna Sink)*

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7939663/chapters/18149251

HYDRA kidnaps Tony Stark. What happens next should be obvious—the torture, the snark, the dramatic rescue. You know, the usual. Except.

Except Bix—the newest self-proclaimed faceless HYDRA goon—really ships WinterIron.

Or: Why faceless HYDRA goons aren’t allowed to have a Tumblr account.

18~The Gift Of Care

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/19908034

Freshly back to the States, James Barnes has a lot to learn about his new world, so he watches and learns and finds himself slowly falling for one Tony Stark, who always appears miserable when he has to spend time at the Compound with his former teammates, but who still takes the time to treat James with kindness.

James sets out on a mission to take care of Tony, make Tony’s life easier in whatever small ways he can. An unfortunate misunderstanding nearly ruins that, but in the end, James still reaps the rewards of his secret good deeds.

19~The Art of Petty Theft

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15943550

All Tony needs right now is a good night’s sleep, but with nightmares nipping at his heels, he can’t do it without his sweatshirt— Rhodey’s sweatshirt, technically, that had become Tony’s long ago, back in their MIT days. The sweatshirt had kept him warm, cozy, and safe through many bad nights, but now it’s missing and when Tony finds out which one of his teammates is a no-good clothes thief, oh, they were going to have words.

20~Merry Kissmas

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/5368094

In which all Bucky wants for Christmas is a certain genius superhero, and for the rest of their teammates to stop hanging mistletoe and kissing said genius, thank you very much.

21~The Voice Inside My Head

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12253551/chapters/27844158

The Soldier is overly protective of Tony after the rogue Avengers come back, forcing his way out when the slightest thing happens to him, so it's a problem when Steve doesn't know when to stop.

22~Whatever you say darling

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/6942853

Tony has been trying to woo Bucky for about a year now. He flirts, he builds him things, he kisses him on the cheek after movie nights and does almost everything he can think of to convince the guy that he really wants to date him. Bucky is strangely steadfast in his answer though: No, they can't date. After an explosive argument about the issue, Tony leaves the Tower for Malibu, making the team wary of a moody Bucky. When he comes back after two weeks, things are a bit...different.

Tony is actually doing exactly what Bucky asks. And it is creeping the team out while making Bucky go crazy.

23~Phase Change

10k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16336445/chapters/38220197

The man who used to be both Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier but now neither has to figure out who he is and what he wants, with a little prodding from Tony along the way.

24~by any other name

10k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944860/chapters/34627725

He hates 'Bucky', hates the man, hates the way it makes his skin crawl and his chest ache.

Hates hearing that name thrown around so cavalier. Hates the image it evokes.

But he can't do anything about it. His tongue is leaden, his tongue sour with disgust, and he's unable to push out the words.

Until Tony Stark rages a one-man war against 'Bucky Barnes'.

Or, the 5 times Tony rejected 'Bucky’ and the 1 time James did.

25~Let It Grow

10k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711483

When Tony steps inside a random flower shop on pure impulse, he doesn't expect to find himself face to face with the hottest florist he has ever seen. Sure, the guy is also the snarkiest florist he has ever seen, but Tony wouldn't consider that a bad thing. Bucky is clever, funny, and can keep up with Tony's banter better than most, and maybe Tony becomes a little bit infatuated with the man, right then and there.

And maybe Tony ends up going back to that same flower shop, time and time again, just to talk to Bucky. That's not weird at all.

He can always pretend it's for the flowers.

26~Speed Dating (Isn't Supposed to Happen in Cars)*

11k https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/19388686 Tony's temporarily broke due to a scandal at Stark Industries, and with no one willing to hire him, he's got to get creative in how to get by. When he reads about a solar-powered car race that pays out in the millions, he knows he can win it. He just needs a car, all the parts, a racing team, a sponsor, a driver, and like a gajillion other things he does not have. What he does have is: one whole month, an Air Force pilot, an heiress, two enthusiastic teenagers, a discredited science teacher, three ex-cons, a high-tech robot disguised as a Roomba, and a wicked crush on the guy from YouTube. Seriously, how can he lose?

27~And Time Again

11k

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/21033113

When Bucky starts acting strange — well, stranger than usual — Tony notices right away. Their friendship might still be new, but he likes to think that he's gotten to know Bucky pretty well by then. The problem is that Bucky doesn't want to tell Tony what's wrong, even when he asks. He dodges Tony's questions, saying everything is fine.

But the way Bucky keeps looking at Tony — as if he expects him to disappear the moment he turns his back — says otherwise.

And Tony is determined to get to the bottom of what's really going on.

28~Spring is Coming

12k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17709014/chapters/41776952

When Tony returns to Earth, he finds out that Bucky Barnes died in the Decimation.

The Winter Soldier, however, did not.

29~Weekly love

12k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11095257/chapters/24754530

Steve flicks him off and Bucky shuts his mouth. “Anyway, so what about Monday?”

Sam leans his hip on the table. “It’s about Stark.”

Bucky almost snorts at that. At MIT almost everything comes back to Tony Stark one way or the other.

Sam stares at him and Bucky clears his throat only then Sam continues.

“Every Monday Stark agrees to go out with the first person who asks him out.” Then he adds, “for a week.”

Bucky makes a face at that, mumbling ‘damn playboy’ under his nose.

Steve shakes his head at his antics. “Unless they have no chance to ask him out then they have to wait another week to try.”

“Mondays are exclusive, any other day and Stark will turn them down harshly.”

“Yep.” Steve nods then stretches, his eyes become a bit distant. “And at the end of the week, he will break up with that person saying: I couldn’t fall in love with you. Let’s break up.”

30~Misremembered

14k

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/11046240

When Loki smirked at Rogers in the middle of a battle and told him he would give Rogers what he wanted most in the world, the mind of his old friend back, Tony had a very bad feeling.

31~Scars

26k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4799096/chapters/10983695

When Tony tried to urge the homeless guy sleeping on the steps of the Tower’s loading dock to move, he never expected that he'd found Hydra’s pet assassin—James "Bucky" Barnes.

Now, after months of keeping his presence a secret from the Avengers and helping Barnes learn to cope with both his returning memories and the modern world, Hydra is back for their favorite toy and Tony must call in old friends to save the life of the man he just might have come to care for a little too much.

32~Hate Me

45k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17054348/chapters/40099106

There were moments where Bucky wondered what could have made Iron Man, possibly his best friend here in the future, sarcastic and gentle and funny and caring, hate Tony Stark so much. Moments where he wondered what Tony Stark, who could manage to be kind and generous to the assassin who had murdered his parents, could have done to Iron Man. But he never dared to ask, afraid of the answer.

33~Fractures (Filled With Liquid Gold)

63k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10913913/chapters/24268908

Ultron happened. The Avengers left.

Tony is fine with being alone again. He always worked better as a Lone Wolf than a team player anyway. He's not sleeping or eating or resting or... living, but it's fine. It's good. It's okay.

And then there's James.

34~Far from Heaven*

67k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13808031/chapters/31748817

Bucky Barnes falls asleep with the man he loves in his arms. In their bed, in their home, safe and sound.

He wakes up in the cold room of the cryostasis chamber in Wakanda to the worried faces of his former best friend and King T'Challa.

Everything that happened in the past six months— his pardon, his recovery, Tony's forgiveness, falling in love— he's told it was nothing more than a fevered dream, conjured up by a broken mind in cryostasis sleep.

The second chance at life he worked so hard to embrace. A newfound family and a place to call home. Tony, the love of his life and his whole world. All gone in a blink.

Bucky Barnes breaks.

35~Dig No Graves

142k WIP

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11633517/chapters/26163312

"I'm here to kill you, Terminator," Tony said slowly, "does that compute?"

The soldier looked up at him with wide blue eyes and no expression. "Okay."

Tony froze. "Okay," he echoed. "I tell you I came here to kill you and your response is 'okay'?"

"I am being decommissioned," the soldier said, and for one horrible moment, Tony thought he actually seemed relieved. "I understand. I will comply."

(Or; Tony learns the Winter Soldier killed his parents and goes on a search for revenge, but ends up learning how to heal instead)

36~Such Sweet Revenge*

167k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15146219/chapters/35123417

When the Rogues are back in the States after being pardoned, the New Avengers want nothing to do with them and as far as Tony is concerned, if he never speaks to them again, it'll be too soon. After all, he didn't spend the last year putting himself (and his family) back together only for his former co-workers to ruin all of his hard work.

But then he gets a hand-written letter from the Winter Soldier himself, apologizing for the events that transpired and an off-handed comment from Rhodey about Rogers failing to take care of an obviously miserable Bucky Barnes sets in motion Tony's new, oh-so-evil plan to get some payback.

After all, what better revenge than to steal the Winter Soldier away from his best friend?

The only problem: Tony sucks at being vengeful, but apparently he's an expert at inadvertently falling in love.

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