#i am working my way through taskmaster

[sarahlancashire]

top 5 recently watched? (movies or tv series)

midsomer murders

bluey

under the bridge (ik it's still airing so i haven't technically finished watching it but whatever)

series twelve of taskmaster

palm royale

ask me my top fives

[taskmasterhistorian]

Via Reddit

There was a phone number under the name "SPO’Nage Plumbing" posted on the van in the "give Alex a five-word instruction in the most spy-like way" task in Series 9 Episode 9.

When you called the number on the van (the number no longer works), this audio played:

Transcript:

Alex: “Hello, there! You’re through to the Taskmaster…’s assistant, and part-time emergency plumber, Alex Horne. Unfortunately, I am currently either being punished, or in the basement, re-elasticating the Taskmaster’s swimming trunk collection. So I can’t answer your call, hang out, see my family, or have anything to eat. For any queries to do with Taskmaster or SPO’Nage Plumbing Limited, please either call back in two years time or write to your local MP. Also, er this is very important-“

Greg: “Alex!!”

Alex: “Oh no! I have to go now! Bye!”

[quoththemaiden]

A short (~1k) scene inspired by Chapter 9 of @mrghostrat's absolutely glorious Big Name Feelings human AU fic. Hope you like arms?

"C'mon, angel, not even gonna crack a smile at that one? Whales, get it? Whales."

Aziraphale felt like his cheeks were on fire from trying to keep a straight face at Crowley's increasingly terrible puns. "I would hate to tacitly encourage this behavior."

"Pfft, you love it." Crowley grinned at him, far past being undaunted and fully into the realm of being energized by Aziraphale's failed attempts at stoicism.

"You're utterly ridiculous." Aziraphale didn't even bother trying to make it sound like an insult, and the half of the screen taken up by his webcam made it clear his cheeks were as pink as they felt. "And I can't help but feel like you're stalling. Hadn't we agreed to be actually productive today?" Aziraphale didn't mind, really; he did want to keep making steady progress on his art, but if his life could consist of coming home from work and just unwinding with Crowley...

...but, well, that wasn't the purpose of this call.

Crowley groaned. "Yeah, yeah. What a taskmaster."

"It is my job to protect you from rabid fans, after all," Aziraphale teased right back.

"O Brave Guardian, protect me from procrastination!"

"That sounds rather harder than a dragon, I'm afraid. But if you don't get to work, I won't be able to work either, and then you won't get to see the finished piece."

"Urk—" Crowley made a strangled noise and finally reached for his mouse. "You'll actually be working on it?"

Aziraphale nodded before adjusting his webcam to show his tablet a bit more. "I really need to get more practice with this, to get half as confident as I am with physical paints."

"I've seen the drawings you've done! They're fucking brilliant."

Aziraphale laughed. "You've said that about everything I've shown you. I'm starting to think I should send you some stick figures as a test."

"Those would be the most adorable fucking stick figures ever. You could draw a whole comic of just stick figures and I'd reblog it a hundred times."

"That's about what I'd expect you to say, yes." Crowley opened his mouth to protest that his compliments were always earnest, and Aziraphale cut him off. "Weren't you going to start writing?"

"Ngghh, right, yeah. Alright, lemme just pull up my docs and then we'll get started bodydoubling for real." Crowley clicked over to screenshare his window as he opened his fic notes. He'd long since stopped hiding anything from Aziraphale; getting to bounce ideas off of him was too invigorating, and his heart always sang at getting to write down his name with official beta credit. (He'd also long since stopped pretending to himself that he'd ever felt quite the same way about any other beta.)

"Good lord." Aziraphale sounded more than faintly appalled, and Crowley felt offended for a moment before taking a proper look at what was on his screen. It was currently showing the notes he'd made at 3 AM this morning, when he'd woken up from a dream and jotted down what had, at the time, felt like a brilliant scene. As always, he'd had his eyes mostly-closed the whole time and his swipes had been clumsy at best, but as long as it got the general point across, he was always satisfied. It only wound up being a usable scene about half the time, but he wasn't about to turn down free inspiration when he could get it. He quickly read through the imagery he'd written down.

They switch rolled over and opened their eyes. In the still morning sunlight they could set the witchfinder still sleeping cloudy enough to touch: his head ears cradled on his arms, the  misos slack with sleep but still clearly there under surface. The words knew from experience that if he were awakened stable the strength would flour back into them in an instant ray for a fight. The wishes couldn't help but think odd other things they might but tray for as well

Crowley paled. "I— that—"

"I mean, it's. Well. It's rather avant-garde."

Crowley froze. "I, uh—"

"'The misos?' And 'flour?'"

Crowley stuttered out of his bluescreen and hastily opened another tab, the screenshare automatically switching over. Aziraphale had read it, but he clearly hadn't actually understood it. As long as he didn't give him enough time to crack the cipher that was 3 AM notetaking, Crowley could bluff his way through it. "Zuh. Yeah. Wrote that down in the middle of the night when I got an idea of where I wanted to start the next scene off."

"And you could recognize any of that?" The camera jostled a little as Aziraphale shook his head. "I suppose I wouldn't do any better if I tried sketching out an idea in the dark." He picked up his stylus and started doodling simple shapes, warming up and re-acclimatizing himself to the responsiveness of the device. He was still getting used to the new medium, but he was finally starting to see a path forward to making a digital art style that felt authentically his own.

"Yessss." Crowley bit his tongue to cut off the guilty hissing. It definitely didn't help that the webcam was doing a very awkward job of catching the tablet screen but showed a very distracting hint of Aziraphale's forearms. The forearms he had, at 3 AM, apparently woken up from a dream about and been so inspired by that he'd felt the need to immortalize them in fanfiction.

"Well, I shall be interested in seeing how that gets transformed into comprehensible English."

"Right, definitely." Crowley was typing gibberish and backspacing over it quickly, more to hide how much attention he was having to devote to this conversation than out of an actual need to warm up his fingers. "Right, definitely focusing on writing now!"

Aziraphale laughed as he cleared his tablet screen and pulled up his WIP, shifting into concentration mode himself. He did enjoy the early days they had spent where their hours of "bodydoubling" were really nothing more than talking and laughing together, but being able to be quietly productive with someone else, knowing they were there with you without needing to be in the same room, that they were sharing your same wavelength without needing to say a word... that simple sense of togetherness brought with it such a deep feeling of comfort that he thought it might be an even more profound, longer-lasting sense of joy than their early days of giddy laughter had given. The strokes of his stylus turned smoother and more confident as he got into the flow, his eyes focused on his own screen and only vaguely aware of the lines of text growing across Crowley's.

Eventually, Crowley calmed down as well, and the text growing on his screen even started to make sense. And he made sure it had absolutely nothing to do with forearms.

--

Translation of the deleted 3 AM scene:

The witch rolled over and opened their eyes. In the early morning sunlight, they could see the witchfinder still sleeping close enough to touch. His head was cradled on his arms, the muscles slack with sleep but still clearly there under the surface. The witch knew from experience that if he were awakened, the strength would flow back into them in an instant, ready for a fight. The witch couldn't help but think of other things they might be ready for as well.

[writing-until-i-drop]

Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 3

Summary:

Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?

Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.

A/N: Daisy has a disturbing realization regarding her newest character, one that dredges up painful memories. Jake has a realization of his own when driving Daisy home from the Hard Deck.

AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

“I want pages as soon as you have them, Daisy. It’s not what I was hoping for but I am very excited.” My publisher Grace said in her thick, Jersey accent. “Send them to Jason first, I know how he gets when he’s left out of the loop.” I rolled my eyes, my agent Jason would get the text about pages when I was ready to share them and not a moment before, otherwise, he’d be calling me three times a day for a status update. Jason had been with me since the beginning, helping me polish my submissions and get picked up by Grace’s publishing house, but he was a taskmaster. A loveable taskmaster, but a taskmaster nonetheless. 

“Sounds good, Grace. I just wanted to keep you in the loop with what’s coming down the pipeline.” 

“You never disappoint me, Daisy.” With that, Grace hung up. Natasha and Rooster had helped me build a desk and chair, giving me the perfect place to work from. Special Agent Cassandra Klein had a lot to say and the pages kept filling with words as fast as I could type them. Sure, a lot of it would probably be cut in the editing process, but it was thrilling that the story was coming so easily. Writing my last book had been like trying to get blood from a stone using a cotton swab as a weapon. My parents were murdered, Cassandra whispered and my fingers froze on the round keys of my pink keyboard. Right in front of me. 

“No, no, no, no,” I scrambled away from my desk, toppling backward in the chair. My head hit the edge of my bed on the way down, pain shooting through my body, “Shit!” I laid there, sprawled out on the floor for a long time, staring up at the ceiling. I had their blood on my tennis shoes. Cassandra was coming to me so easily because she was me. “I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this.” I chanted to myself, head spinning. 

But I had already told Grace about the story and she was expecting pages. I couldn’t back out of this now. Cassandra wouldn’t stop whispering twisted details of my past, her past, our past, to me. She demanded that I tell the story. It was the driving force for her joining the Navy and then NCIS, it was the reason she was determined to catch the bad guys. It was the most important part of her just like it was with me. 

Some time later I managed to pull myself off of the floor. I looked in the bathroom mirror, cringing when I saw the blood and the bruise beginning to form at my temple. My cheeks were puffy and tear-stained, and my eyes were bloodshot. I looked utterly pathetic and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re in deep shit now, DeeDee,” I knew what I should have done. I should have called my old therapist and scheduled a new session, I should have called my brother and asked for an update on his wife and kids. I should have done anything besides what I was going to do. I wiped up the blood, cringing at the burn of the alcohol wipe, and put a bandaid over the cut. Then I went back to work. 

Cassandra was a tough cookie but unlike me, saw her therapist well into adulthood. But unlike me, she drank and smoked an unhealthy amount to cope with what she saw on the job. I stayed away from her past, only alluding to it briefly in therapy, and got on with the investigation she was pursuing with her team. By the time I heard Natasha come home, I had written enough to make me happy.

“You home, Daisy?” Natasha shouted up the stairs, her heavy footfall disrupting my concentration. I shut my laptop, rubbing at my tired eyes, responding that I was home. “Do you want to go for dinner and then a drink with the guys?” A drink did sound good, actually, twelve drinks sounded better. 

“Yeah, can I wear my pajamas this time?” Natasha shot me down, I heard her shower turn on. I begrudgingly changed out of my Cookie Monster pajama pants and into leggings, layering extra deodorant, and perfuming my Embry-Riddle University sweatshirt. 

“So, are you going to tell me what happened to your forehead?” Natasha pointed with her fork. I ignored her, taking another bite of my burger. “That’s a no then. Am I going to have to beat up a person or baby-proof our furniture?” 

“Furniture,” I mumbled, stuffing a handful of fries into my mouth in the most unladylike way. “Don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“Clumsy,” Natasha chided, stealing one of my fries even though she had a plate of her own. “If you don’t want to talk about that, do you want to talk about Hangman?” I glared at her. Ever since the first night at the Hard Deck, Natasha had been trying to get me to talk about Jake and how I felt about him but I wouldn’t say a word. He was nice, especially when he stopped flirting with me constantly, he listened to me talk about everything that came to my mind, listening with rapt attention. “You’re smiling!” 

“Shut up, Tasha. Want to tell me about you and Coyote?” Natasha’s smile faded fast, her cheeks turning pink.

“Nothing to tell.” Natasha lied, slurping her root beer. “Alright, so no talking about the forehead or boys. Have you talked to Harvey lately?” 

“Nah, he’s busy with baby number three. Little Jill Prentiss is a 7lb 14oz bundle of joy who will not let them sleep more than a few hours a night.” My younger brother Harvey had been too young to be saddled with all of the lingering trauma, getting married to his high school sweetheart Emma after graduating from college, bought a house in Iowa, and started having babies. My nieces were the highlight of my life, for every book I wrote, I would get an advance and spend a good portion of it on presents for them. 

“Good for him, doing all that domestic crap. If I got pregnant, I’d have to give up flying and I don’t know if I’ll ever be willing to do that.” 

“Would you do it for Javy?” 

“I thought we said no boys!” 

The Hard Deck wasn’t as packed on a Wednesday night, making it much more my speed. Penny greeted us with a wave, grabbing the bottle of Patron.

“Evening, ladies! Your usual?” 

“Pretty please, Penny,” I passed her my card to start a tab. “Did you and Mav enjoy the cookies I sent?” 

“Amelia and I ate them all before he came home from work,” Penny laughed, “They were delicious, you’ll have to give me the recipe.” 

“No can do, my recipe book is under lock and key.” Penny pinched her lips at me but slid me two shots and a tequila sunrise. “But all you have to do is ask for more and I’ll drop off a batch.” That got a smile out of her. I slammed back my two shots, getting primed and ready for human interaction, and then ordered a third just to be sure.

“You’re in rare form tonight,” Natasha remarked, side-eyeing me, “Still don’t want to talk about it?” I shook my head, letting her lead me to where the other daggers were sitting with their beers. Payback and Fanboy were deep in conversation, Bob was texting, and Bradley was off to the side, chatting with some pretty brunette. Jake noticed us first, motioning for me to sit next to him.

“Hey, Wildflower.” I rolled my eyes, fighting a smile. He frowned, brushing my bangs back to reveal the bandaid, “What happened?” 

“I was attacked by a piece of furniture,” I mumbled, pushing my bangs back into place. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He grabbed my hand under the table, thumb smoothing over my knuckles.

“Then we won’t talk about it but-” He was cut off by Rooster rejoining the group, announcing that he did in fact get the woman’s number.

“Ten bucks says it’s fake,” Natasha challenged with a shit-eating grin. Payback took her up on the deal, “Because why would she give you her number instead of trying to take you home on this fine, Wednesday evening?”

“Yee of little faith,” Rooster rolled his eyes. “She’s right there, I’ll call her.” He pointed to the bar where the woman in question was settling her tab and dialed. We all watched as Rooster’s phone rang but the phone in the woman’s hand didn’t light up. “Oh, um, wrong number.” 

“I bet it was the mustache, I keep telling you to shave that thing, man.” Jake teased, smacking Rooster on the back.

“It’s not the mustache, ladies love the mustache. Right, Daisy?” I held up my hands, forcing Jake to drop it.

“I am not getting involved in this, ask Tasha.” He turned to ask Natasha who was glaring daggers at him and he thought better of it. Jake’s hand rested on my thigh, sparking a deep blush in my chest.

“I thought we talked about the flirting thing, Hangman,” I whispered. Everyone was too busy roasting Rooster to notice our little conversation. He shot me a glare, squeezing my thigh.

“I’m not flirting, Wildflower. I’m being comforting,” He rolled his eyes.

“Who says I need comforting?”

“The extra shot of tequila and you, little lady, call me Jake.” I narrowed my eyes at him, annoyed that he noticed so much about me. I was used to being noticed by people like Natasha, Harvey, and the occasional fan, but not by men like Jake. Sure, Rooster had called me gorgeous, but the man who would flirt with a brick wall if given the chance. I wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, with my soft stomach and thighs, but I considered myself cute in the right outfits. Certainly not what I was wearing 90% of the time though, including right then.

“I’ll call you whatever I like, pretty boy.” I bluffed, rolling my eyes at him. He shot me another glare,

“Now who’s flirting?” 

“Whatever,” I huffed, sliding my hand over his. He let me get the last word and I was thankful for it, my social battery absolutely shot from the unwelcome trip down memory lane earlier in the day. 

X

As the night went on, Daisy sank deeper into my side, her fingers laced with my own beneath the table. Something was wrong, that much was obvious, but it was clear she didn’t want to talk about it and I wasn’t about to run her off by asking too many questions. Daisy had a way of keeping me on my toes, always calling me out when I tried to flirt or tease her. It made me want to do those things all the time, just to watch her pretty brown eyes roll with an exasperated sigh of my name. 

“Do you want a water?” I whispered, enjoying the way her grip on me tightened as she shivered. She looked up at me with droopy eyes, blinking slowly like a cat. I made a mental note to add kitten to the lineup of nicknames for her, just to see how she’d react to it. 

“I want to go to bed but she’s enjoying herself,” I followed her eyes to Phoenix, who was in deep conversation with Coyote over pre-flight rituals. 

“I can take you home, Wildflower.” I had the urge to take her home and tuck her in bed with me at her side, tracing patterns on her thigh even after she fell asleep. The thought made me both happy and queasy. I had never dreamt of domesticity, at least not after my pops got sick. The day he had been diagnosed with cancer and I saw how distraught my mama was, I knew I didn’t want to be the source of that much grief to anyone I loved. But with Daisy, those sweet thoughts wouldn’t leave my mind. I wanted to dance with her in the kitchen while she cooked and hold her hand at the grocery store, I wanted to do everything I had avoided with a ten-foot pole with every other girl I had been with for a night. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Come on,” I pulled her to her feet. “Phoenix, I’m going to take Daisy home, she’s a little tired.” Phoenix narrowed her eyes at me, the protective vibe rolling off of her in waves until Daisy leaned into my side.

“Goodnight, everyone,” Her eyes were half-closed as she waved to the squad and I quickly guided her to the bar, paid for both of our tabs, and guided her to my truck. There was a bit of a lift to it and I had never been more happy for it when Daisy giggled, taking my helping hand in.

“You’re such a gentleman, Jake.” 

“I’m your gentleman, Wildflower.” Instead of glaring, she just smiled, that pretty blush turning her cheeks the same color as her hair. I wanted to snap a picture of the moment, Daisy sitting in my passenger seat with that soft smile on her lips. 

I closed the door, jogging to the other side. Daisy had her arm on the center console and she didn’t protest when I laced our fingers together as I drove. Whether I was finally breaking her down or she was too tired to mind, I didn’t care, smiling the whole drive. 

“Stay put, sweetheart.” I squeezed her hand before getting out and helping her out of the truck. 

“You don’t have to walk me to the door, Jake.” 

“The door? I was planning on tucking you in, I’ve got to protect you from more wild furniture attacks.” That got me an eye roll but she didn’t protest, leading me into the apartment she shared with Phoenix. I had been there once before with Javy but the place looked completely different, instead of a crash pad, it felt like a home. My pops always said it took a woman’s touch to turn a house into a home and looking at Daisy’s string lights and wax melter, I couldn’t have agreed more. “So, which of these Ikea pieces attacked you?”

“My bed, it’s a long story.” Daisy let me follow her up the stairs and I was going to take as long of a leash as she was going to give me here.

“I’ve got time,” I pried gently, averting my eyes from her round ass like the gentleman I was trying to be.

“I fell out of my chair and hit my head, not a big deal, just a little embarrassing.” My mind immediately went into a panic, wanting to check her for a concussion and to see how bad the cut was beneath the bandaid but I restrained myself, knowing that would get me kicked out faster than I could say urgent care. 

“Beds can be dangerous,” I teased instead, grinning when I got a laugh out of her. Daisy stopped just inside of her room, looking up at me with sleepy eyes and I found myself practicing self-restraint again, wanting to cover her face in kisses until she pulled me to bed with her.

“Thanks for bringing me home, Jake, but I think I’ve got it from here.” 

“Okay,” I said but I didn’t want to leave yet. Instead, I wrapped her in my arms, breathing in her vanilla perfume, relishing the fact she was hugging me back. “Goodnight, Wildflower.” 

“Goodnight, Jake.” 

I locked the bottom lock on my way out, texted Phoenix that Daisy was in bed, and took the long route home, needing to clear my head. Except Daisy wouldn’t leave my mind, taking up residence in every corner. Her laugh, her smile, her glare. I was so fucked. 

Next Chapter

[traitorleech]

taskmaster series 16 finale. it's here, guys! i am so not prepared to let the cast go. it's been a great time, though.

what the fuck has happened to sam's hair? & he's not in grey. he's finally got enough xp to unlock colour apparently.

ah. the live bit.

"fidgeting will otter a man down"

"but where are all these beavers"

untaffled.

"fair play to the boy" the live bit goes on.

"that's filthy, that's filthy, ... that's filthy" susan is me in a lot of situations.

ok, now i just think lucy's lost her fucking mind with that doughnut task. i am shocketh beyond anything. poor alex. but god damn he really ate it. i mean, i'm not surprised but gently disgusted, though as soon as i saw her in a bird's costume, i knew what was coming.

greg keeps bringing up that he and alex were to a wedding where he made him eat a pat of butter.

"i'm not the one who gobbled a beaver's anal gland" alex is on fire in this live episode.

oh my god i'm so in love with sue's doughnut task. i screamed when the doughnut hit.

julian making alex kneel. julian making alex kneel. i repeat. julian making alex kneel & then eating the doughnut & spitting it at alex.

susan is fucking insane.

"but once i'd started i knew he was gonna get it." thank you for your service, julian. i enjoyed it too much.

"let's gaffer me up real good"

THEY HAVE ALL LOST THEIR MINDS

oh are they gonna get dqed if they leave the work out mat? no. apparently not. i am gonna say missed opportunity but i think that would have made it less fun, actually.

sue beating alex up with a ball. on brand.

julian groaning. i am so sorry but i do find it quite erotic.

it was julian who's beating alex with the boxing gloves. oh my fucking god i wouldn't have believed it. my prediction was wrong.

why did they bleep what julian said. i wanna know what julian said (probably cunt or something)

alex in a leather jacket & black t-shirt is so hot. why is he stripping again?! ah. dressing gown.

"i prefer alex" a sentence that hasn't been said very often on this show. probably never.

susan dying over alex's forks and marbles.

oh my god i'm enjoying the sues way too much in the hotel task. they really should do a show where they're managing a bnb. i'd fucking watch it.

i'm cry-laughing right now. oh my god. my stomach hurts. i think the hotel task might be my favourite task of all time. hide the pineapple has been brought down (if this was my favourite before. don't know).

all three of them looking in on alex through the window. i don't know. cracks me up.

"nice legs" "i don't think that's appropriate"

oh my god. i think they annoyed each other so badly. alex didn't manage to be the difficult one. they all were. though greg was right with julian managing the lunatics & then making alex pay 300 quid.

"hello, cutie." greg throwing alex off once again via nicknames.

greg's really feeling the final task. so adorable.

"so it is possible, which is a relief" well...

they're all holding hands.

didn't think julian would win the episode. but he did pretty badly in the final task. but sam won. which was my prediction. so. yeah. and no more secret tasks. i really can't believe it's over. had so much fun watching it week to week, though i gotta admit that i know no one from the nyt line-up reveal.

[lastweeksshirttonight]

IDK what The Horne Section is about, but having John Oliver is gonna reel me in lol

Hopefully I can summarize this in a sensible way for you anon! (Also forgive me if you already knew any of this!)

"Little" Alex Horne is a British comedian who is objectively most famous for creating the internationally popular exercise-in-psychological-torture-cum-panel-show Taskmaster. The UK version just announced the cast for its 18th season. If you aren't familiar with Taskmaster, this is a pretty good intro to the tenor of this show.

Horne is also part of a band called The Horne Section, where he and his friends have made comedic songs on and off since about 2010. There's a radio show from 2012-2014, a podcast, and a few albums.

(I am not super familiar with their work ngl. It's on the backlog pile along with the entire works of like seventy comedians, the Disney Animated Canon, and 5 video games I started then abandoned for more Civ/MLB the Show time. ADHDDDDDDDDDDD)

On the back of Taskmaster exploding in popularity globally, in 2022, The Horne Section expanded into a six-episode TV show. I know I am fairly biased/literally sat through every Smurfs movie for John Oliver, but if you like Office-style awkward/cringe humour, this show is an absolute delight. I cannot overestimate how much this show had me laughing so hard I was crying.

The show is relatively easy to find online - hope you enjoy it!

Also, if you haven't, you really should watch Taskmaster. The UK version is still the best in my mind, but New Zealand and Australia are amazing in their own right.

[panelshowsource]

saved a few anons asking personal questions not all related to panel shows, spamming answers below the cut :)

she/her!

interesting question! first, i think it's very special that you had the opportunity to study at an international university and i am glad to hear you had so many amazing experiences!

i also feel like i need to preface anything i say with... holidays are obviously different from living, and i hope people can trust that i wouldn't base an entire lifestyle decision off, like, being a fan of taskmaster lmao the state of politics, brexit, housing, prejudice, and more make it difficult to say i'd want to commit to life there — plus i really love new york city, where i do feel at home

that said, i would be open to living in the uk for a period of time, yes. i am certainly very motivated to visit a lot of places, particularly in england, and decided last year to start spending a month or two over there every year (this year i think i will be in york! maybe i can post a little about that if people care). the history and motivations behind that decision are really personal to me, but it feels...right. i am really looking forward to my time there this year and treasure being someone who works remotely and can make that happen

living permanently, it's hard to say, but speaking for my interests in history, architecture, art, cinema — it would be wonderful to explore those things more in person, yes!

i really think in the 6+ years of this blog this is the first i've ever been asked about music! which makes sense ofc it just took me by surprise!

hmmm i think this playlist most accurately expresses what i'm listening to a lot of the time + a lot a lot a lot of classical music, some dad rock, and a few balladeers like judy garland and rufus wainwright

i don't claim to be the world's biggest comedy buff or keep up the best with all of the comedy coming out of the uk and american industries — even though i do enjoy it so much! — but growing up i was very interested in comedy writing. in high school, i worked at a dvd store where people could trade in their old dvds for store credit to buy new ones, so we had a HUGE selection of not only new releases but older, sometimes nicher stuff that you typically wouldn't see at a suburban american blockbuster-like shop. i can't stress how formative this was! i would always go through the store and "beautify" the shelves (pulling all the spines up neatly, keeping everything alphabetised, etc) just to constantly look through what we had in stock, grab the old black bar criterion films before some movie buff snatched them up, touch all the special editions (physical releases were more than just steelbooks back then, like stuff like this). each of the employees had a little shelf in the back room where you could store dvds you wanted to buy when you eventually had the money, keeping them off the floor so no customer would see and buy them. i was always reserving 30+ dvds at a time and spent my whole paychecks at work hahaha

anyways, that's how i found a lot of the random british films i ended up loving — by people trading them in or me just running across them at the store: a cock and bull story, death at a funeral, this is england, gosford park, monty python, (particularly holy grail and life of brian), confetti (didn't love this one but it had a lot of actors i really liked in it so i remember watching it quite a few times) and more — but especially withnail and i and in the loop. i was fucking obsessed with in the loop, which i watched on a loop (zing!) and was ultimately how i worked my way backwards to the thick of it as well as shows like the office uk, alan partridge, green wing, fry and laurie, peep show, and more. (the thick of it and peep show were particularly everything to me!) i still have all of the dvds from the dvd store i worked at! lol

in terms of american comedy, i was obsessed with the state and then their groups' projects like wet hot american summer and reno 911 (michael showalter is a great example of a writer/director i don't think is one of the greats but follows his heart & vision, and i really respect that; my fave of his, which is genuinely so good, is hello my name is doris! underrated lil treasure). i also really loved it's always sunny, flight of the conchords, party down, arrested development, jackass and wild boys, and house md, and some of the wild characters on bravo lmao. we had this channel called logo that was my lifeline to queer content before i really had full-time access to the internet outside of a shared family computer, so i was always watching reruns of jeffrey & cole casserole, the big gay sketch show, plus the l word and queer as folk, and they also did syndication of reno 911 (but i already had all the box sets of that 😭). i was never heavy into the judd apatow/bro comedy that was so big in the 2000s, and even the 80s–90s american comedy heavily influenced by the talent at snl wasn't particularly engaging to me; of that, my favourites were probably throw momma from the train and a couple of romcoms

+ every panel show i could get my hands on! and i think because i was really engaged with sketch comedy i was also reading a lot of playwrights, especially alan bennett, harold pinter, and edward albee, who i had (and have!) huge collections of

and, yes, so many of these are at the foundation of my very favourite formats and styles of comedy: mockumentaries , black comedy or dark comedy, existential comedy, stories rooted in reality or plausibility / domestic dramedy. i used to be very engaged by sketch comedy and wanted to crack the science behind writing funny sketches, but i do think i've moved away from that format and filled that void with the improv nature of panel shows (it works for me the way i think the format of podcasts work for so many other people... i wonder if anyone will relate to that comparison)

comedy evolves so much by the decade and i appreciate a lot of the ways in which it has grown, so i don't think of it as a then vs now, which is better, whatever. and like you i can't help but revisit my nostalgic faves often!

i do think eventually he will! but rn he's lapping up that tv money hahaha my very fave is firing cheeseballs at a dog, but they're all genuinely great!

[wonkyelk]

Get to know you game! Answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to know better!

Thanks to @massharp1971 for tagging me! 😘

Last song listened to?

Listening to the Magnus Archives introduced me to The Mechanisms, and now I’m just a little bit hopelessly addicted.

The last song I listened to was the last track on Tales to be Told, Vol 2: Swan Song.

Currently reading

As well as browsing through the Stargate Atlantis and Magnus Archive fandoms, have just started rereading The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins, which is my cuddly familiar teddy bear of a book.

Currently watching

Having finished the last UK series of Taskmaster, am now working my way through the New Zealand version. Nothing like sheer, enthusiastic absurdity to help the day go a little better.

Currently obsessed with

The Magnus Archives, The Magnus Protocol, The Mechanisms, Stargate Atlantis, Taskmaster, Buster Keaton and writing.

tagging (but please ignore if you’re not interested): @trainofcommand, @stargayatlantis, @gingerpolyglot, @stinalotte, @dedkake, @hero-in-waiting and anyone else who reads this and wants to share. 💗

[lunar-years]

if/when you watch taskmaster you should liveblog it

Full disclosure I am absolutely awful at watching tv shows (I am still working my way through the season of Bridgerton I started a month ago lmao) but it’s definitely on my list and I’ll hopefully watch it eventually haha

[bestworstcase]

also, while i am asterisking My Theory on what the ever after is until/unless it’s confirmed, at this point i am 100% dead certain that IF the brothers had a hand in creating this place, it was only dark. most of the theorizing i’ve seen on the subject arrives at the opposite conclusion largely on the basis of the ever after being strictly regimented and ‘orderly’ but… honestly i think people are reading way too much into the emphasis on purpose and in particular reading that emphasis through the lens of what such a cultural fixation would suggest about a society in a more reality-adjacent setting.

that was a natural assumption based on what we knew before the volume started airing, but i don’t think it holds up at all! here’s what we know so far about how the ever after works:

1. it’s a hodgepodge of drastically different worlds put together like a “mixed up puzzle” with no rhyme or reason; the only discernible natural law is that every acre caters to the specific needs of its residents

2. there are absolutely zero obstacles impeding travel between different acres. the physical borders are unguarded and spanned by large, sturdy bridges which connect the main thoroughfares of different acres; there are no laws or social taboos against leaving one’s home acre and travel back and forth between adjacent ones is common enough for denizens to build reputations spanning multiple different acres (e.g. the peddler), and no one has taken the slightest issue with little traveling across entire acres. and not only is there no prohibition against travel, it seems to be actively encouraged by the fact that there is an entire acre dedicated to journeys of self-discovery; the ever after enshrines personal growth and change as an inevitable and invaluable part of life.

3. we have now met half a dozen notable denizens: the peddler, grown visibly older than his description in the storybook and fully content as he is; the jabberwalker, far more timid than his intimidating appearance would suggest, who seemingly spends his time roaming other acres in search of a way to “fix” his own; little, a child who quite happily goes around exploring and making new friends without any sense of anxiety or pressure about the fact that they haven’t found their purpose yet; the red prince, once a king, whose sense of purpose was so badly shaken that he fell backwards in time and became a child again to rediscover himself; the herbalist, who is serenely certain of both his purpose and the inevitability one day he will become something else, and who just bounces when he realizes he’s become stuck in a workaholic rut…

…and the cat, whose purpose is curiosity and who appears to spend their time rambling around alternately pestering interesting people and intervening when other denizens become TOO fixated on their ‘purpose’. the red prince’s purpose is to ‘win his game at any cost,’ but when his desperation to win causes him to spiral into a blind fury, the cat steps in to soothe him (“you must be so distraught”) and remind him to consider the consequences of acting rashly out of anger (“if you behead them, you might not ever get them back”). likewise, when the herbalist acts out his purpose by rote and hurts ruby by pushing her into a trial she isn’t ready for, the cat comes to her rescue and entreats the herbalist to remember himself (“you’re supposed to be helping others find their way, but you’ve lost your own”). contrary to the emerging theories that the cat is some sort of overseer or taskmaster who enforces the roles other denizens must play, the cat actively questions the nature and meaning of those roles and has twice now resolved the conflict of an episode by encouraging the notional antagonist to think and act OUTSIDE of their stated roles, to reconsider their choices from a more complex and nuanced perspective.

4. the cat trashes the brothers, light especially. “who thought that was a helpful way to reincarnate? the same people who put a city in the sky? […] those brothers! talk about a god complex!”—the god of light interpreted salem kneeling before him with tears in her eyes to ask “please bring him back” as demanding and selfish (literally “you demand of me”), cursed her for eternity and has been nursing a grudge for millions of years because she prayed to his brother after he turned her away, co-signed the annihilation of every human on the face of the planet to punish her for rebelling against him, and is still holding salem’s defiance as a blade over the whole world’s neck because her refusal to grovel obediently at his feet infuriated him so much. the cat is powerful and knowledgeable and seems to be very fond of—or at least very intrigued by—humans, and when they hear the story of remnant’s gods they scoff at light’s ineptitude and arrogance. you think THE CAT is a being appointed by the god of light to enforce order?!?

5. more generally, the ever after is a dozen or so mini-worlds floating on top of a formless white void; a dark and stormy acre runs up against a sunny tropical beach which is stacked against an acre of rolling red fields and green skies which is next to an old-growth forest stuffed to the gills with bioluminescent fungi. the physical transitions between different acres are so stark that they literally split the sky in half, stormy night to golden noon. intense despair causes tiny spontaneous thunderstorms. one acre is populated by a throng of oversized mice. the next one over is populated chiefly by animate wooden figurines and toys. attempting to walk towards the tree traps you in an infinite loop of maybe ten or fifteen paces but if you walk in the same general direction without focusing on the tree you’re able to move freely. it has been implied that the tree itself is ambulatory or at least metaphorically capable of movement. the jabberwalker glitches when he moves. the cat can phase in and out of existence at will and sometimes splits in half for no apparent reason other than that they feel like it. the ever after is not a sensible world. it runs on metaphor and emotion and narrative without regard for logic or coherency; it is not orderly. it defies order.

the god of light claims dominion over the powers of creation, but he is not imaginative or innovative in the slightest; every time salem fails to do what he wants her to do, he cracks down harder, piles on more suffering, and expects her to submit, and in the eons since he and his brother abandoned remnant he still has yet to realize the obvious error in his thinking or even just let it go. he is portrayed in ‘the two brothers’ as a rigidly inflexible authoritarian who does not understand the world his brother created and makes no effort to learn (the story credits dark with creation of the moon, deserts, mountains, earthquakes, and volcanoes—which is to say, the god of darkness is responsible for nearly all of the fundamental natural processes required to support life; plate tectonics, tides, weather, biodiversity… and the god of light complains that these things ‘spoil’ the planet); his ideal world is a lush plain of undifferentiated green with grazing animals wandering over it. put plainly i do not think the god of light is even capable of creating a place as complicated and varied as the ever after without his brother’s help, and by “help” what i mean is “dark doing almost all of the actual work” because that is explicitly what happened during the creation of remnant. (and ‘the two brothers’ is pro-light religious propaganda, so if this is the most flattering spin ozma could come up with…)

in contrast—if the ever after is divine in origin, which i really don’t think it is at this point—its haphazard, malleable, mixed-up-puzzle nature feels like something you might plausibly end up with if the god of darkness set out to make a world all by himself, unfettered by his brother’s restraint. dark is also capricious, emotionally-driven, interested in humans (<- explicit in ‘the two brothers’ and supported by his initial reaction to salem in the lost fable), capable of empathy and kindness (<- he does salem a favor because her grief resonated with his loneliness and he wanted to reward her faith in him; likewise his cruelty towards her later is motivated by the sense of betrayal when he’s convinced that she took advantage of his desire for connection), and appears to have weathered at least one rebellion prior to salem’s without throwing any world-destroying tantrums about it (<- rip to the knight who tried to kill god and got run through with his own sword and tossed out to rot on the front porch), so of the pair he seems the likelier by far to tolerate the cat openly mocking them.

[rovermcfly]

in times like these I am just overflowing with love for the people who make their content freely available on youtube and despite the economy™ still find every way to continue to do that without going out of business, which I KNOW is hard. Crash Course, SciShow, PBS and Co leading the pack for me because they're providing free quality education, but also "just" entertainment like Drawfee and video essayists like Hbomberguy, Defunctland, Quinton Reviews and companies Team Starkid. Also shows like Taskmaster that are TV shows that go against the norm in the business and upload every episode onto YouTube a day after airing. Heck, even people like the Girl With The Dogs who even grooms the pets for free now because the audience support allows her to do that.

And this is only scratching the surface. But what they all have in common is that their success is built on the mutual respect and love between creators and audiences. There is a trust there, I enjoy supporting people like them through Patreon and such because I see value in their work and I want to help make sure it can stay freely available because I know they want to keep it that way too and honor that support, and value my input.

And whenever their vision ends up diverging from my tastes too much, there are no hard feelings, I never feel shamed for removing my financial support and I'm grateful for the transparency and honesty and glad they can do something they're passionate about, because for every me that doesn't really vibe with a new direction, there are just as many others who have been waiting for it and pitch in in my place. They all have their own unique communities, built on the common interest in what the creators enjoy making, strengthened by the mutual respect and love. And that's unbelievably valuable and worth supporting.

[mr-saavik]

@laevateinn tagged me in "9 people I'd like to know better" thank you Victor!!! :)

Last song: Crosseyed and Painless by Talking Heads. Specifically the live version from Stop Making Sense which has become a comfort album in the past handful of months for me.

Currently watching: god what am I NOT watching. With my sister Sara @colors-changing-hue I am: watching The X Files for the first time in fits and starts. Near the beginning of a Hannibal rewatch. About halfway through a Taskmaster rewatch. Near the end of the youtube series No More Jockeys. We also occasionally watch Doctor Who with a friend who is seeing it for the first time. On my own I'm at The Return portion of my Twin Peaks rewatch. I also tend to watch a lot of movies. Ok I think thats it. WAIT Sara and I are also watching new episodes of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds as they come out.

Currently reading: Destroy All Monsters by Jeff Jackson physically and about to start Scorched Grace by Margot Douaihy on audio because I finished Siren Queen by Nghi Vo on audio last night

Current obsession: oooo interesting I don't know if I have any particularly new obsessions.... Star Trek and Twin Peaks (and David Lynch more broadly) have been constant latent obsessions with Hannibal bubbling more to the surface now that I'm rewatching it, I've also been very consistently into crocheting and am currently working on a cool colorwork project from a vintage pattern I saw on tumblr, but these are all things I've liked for about a year or more. Maybe I could say No More Jockeys is a current obsession but less in a "I think about this all the time and/or engage in fan work" way and more in a "I've been sick and spent a lot of time watching this" sort of way.

I'm going to tag @lesbiancassius @pamplemoube @sofyarostova @solsburyhill1977 @princesskuragina @fifthlydoyoudream @narratorstragedy @suits-of-woe and @jonbinary but only if y'all want to :)

[patron-saints]

thank you to @portokali for the tag! i'm so excited we got to meet through secret santa hehe <3

last movie: the holiday! i had seen it before Years ago but just before this watch @amotleycrew texted me their the Brilliant idea that there was a Lot Of Aro vibes from one of the couples and like. yeah. it was so fun to watch with my aro glasses on and so cute in general

last song: "wolf like me" by lera lyn and shovels & rope, which for some reason always reminds me of like. a werewolf izumi curtis? but it's a vibe, i like that cover a lot

currently reading: as always when i am asked this it is just another volume of fma! i'm currently making my way so so slowly through 19! but i'll probably finish when i get back from the holidays. or maybe on the plane. i did also just read this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone which was. very good.

currently watching: taskmaster s16! i have been watching them in an utterly random order but i've been seeing the gifsets for the current season so i got excited and jumped to it. also just finished the diplomat. and the hbomber guy vid. both of which were insane.

currently consuming: cheddar popcorn and mineral water.

currently craving: the ability to work on my rizalust wip. please return from the war <3

tagging some of my newer(ish) mutuals @waitineedaname @gamergirlcrustacean @chillingoose @tacticalgrandma @ghostzvne if ur up for it!

[thelvadams]

I was tagged by @knightwayne ages ago and am only getting around to doing this now 🙈 (thank you for tagging me ana!)

Three ships: I don’t really take shipping too seriously, but off the top of my head I’d probably say Zelda/Link (The Legend of Zelda), Leon/Ada (Resident Evil) and Noah/Mio (Xenoblade Chronicles).

Last song: “Break Through It All” from the Frontiers soundtrack 🎧

Last movie: John Wick Chapter 4, which was excellent as always. Before that it was probably Fury of the Gods which I think is very underappreciated right now. And hoping to see the Mario movie very soon!

Currently reading: I’m still (very slowly) working my way through the Witcher books, though it’s difficult to find the time to read them properly.

Currently watching: Not very much, just mainly the Mandalorian and the new series of Taskmaster - I don’t really use streaming services so I don’t follow a lot of new shows. I’m casually rewatching Star Trek TOS and Brooklyn Nine Nine from time to time too.

Currently consuming: If we mean figuratively, video games. If we mean literally, tea (my beloved ☕).

Currently craving: Peace and quiet, plus more free time to do fun things.

I’ll tag @mistress-light, @apocalypsekid, @jimmymcgill, @talesfromthecrypts, @vindicia, @rivensbane and @marogarreh (as always, only if you really want to!)

[jedusaur]

Festivids recs!

2 Be Loved (Am I Ready) by fiercynn [Lizzo's Watch Out For The Big Grrrls] I haven't watched the canon (Lizzo's reality show looking for plus-size backup dancers) but this is a really nice upbeat, positive vid

Carol Of The Bells by lilly_the_kid [Die Hard] I was expecting this to be one of those vids where the fun of it is all in the concept and the execution gets boring, but nope, it was great all the way through! I hadn't heard this version of the song before and it was absolutely perfect for this, A+ no notes

Evolution by thingswithwings [Dirty Computer] what a great song, for this vid concept in particular and also just in general! I do wish the vidder had credited the artist somewhere—it's Nuela Charles, according to Shazam, and I will be exploring her full discography posthaste

I Can Cook Too by Tafadhali [Big Eden] cute lil mini-vid for an old queer romcom I'm fond of :) just rewatched it the other day with my girlfriend, who hadn't seen it, and can confirm it is still delightful

Butterflies & Hurricanes by thingswithwings [Taskmaster] summarized as "a constructed reality Taskmaster vid in which Greg is a terrifying elder god and everyone is trying to please (or appease) him." early in the vid the silliness of some of the tasks felt a little incongruous, but as it went on the silly parts developed an eerieness I thought really worked, and the Muse song choice is fucking inspired ("you've got to be the best" and "your time is now" just *mwah*)

Loser by hartknyx [Taskmaster] love this concept, great song choice. I kinda thought it should have used more clips of contestants failing, there are certainly enough of those moments to fill a lot more of the vid time, but the vidder chose to prioritize lyric-matching. which is fine, it's still a very good vid and worth watching

Rubber Duckie by Krim [Taskmaster] I did *not* think there were enough clips of rubber ducks to fill a whole vid, was expecting a lot of filler shots, but nope it's pretty much solid rubber ducks start to finish. I am charmed

[convexicalcrow]

Snowflake Challenge #6 In your own space, post the results of your fandom scavenger hunt. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

This one looked super fun, and I'm doing both physical stuff as well as a few digital things, bc for some of these I had more than one thing I wanted to share so. :D

Search in your current space, whether brick-and-mortar or digital. Post a picture or description of something that is or represents:

A favorite character

Sausage and Santa Perla oml <3

I can't list one without the other ofc. Sausage's lore captivated me in Empires s1, and hasn't let go yet. The lore he's running in Empires s2 is just incredible. It's made me cry far too many times, and I'm just so invested in whatever the hell he's got going on. Also I love a good excuse for religious world-building, and having Santa Perla to work with has been so fun. <3 I'm really looking forward to what Pearl decides to do with her side of the lore now that she remembers as well.

2. Something that makes you laugh

It's Mark Watson, Alex Horne, and Tim Key! This is collectively representing them as a group of friends and just doing stupid shit together, but also No More Jockeys, Mark's long shows, Key's works, and the non-Taskmaster stuff Alex does, though there's not much outside of the Horne Section these days lol, he's a busy boy.

For digital things, may I offer the following: - Longform: Big Fat Quiz 2015. It starts off fairly sensible then gets derailed by bad dong, and only gets more off-track from there. A classic. - Shortform: Carrot In A Box. Need I say more. rip Sean Lock, you bastard genius. </3 - TV series: 15 Storeys High, Sean Lock's sitcom from way back when. It was rec'd to me by a friend, and I don't regret finding a copy to download bc it's so good. <3 - TV series: This Is Jinsy, weird, full of songs, nonsense and whimsy, def worth tracking down a copy of this show. It's so good. Makes me laugh so much. <3 Greg Davies in drag is also a lovely touch lol.

3. A bookshelf

These are the Taskmaster books that still exist. I tore up an awful lot of them to make 1000 paper cranes a few years ago. XD Also have some Key and Horne and Watson. <3 The three books on the far left are my current reading material.

4. A game or hobby you enjoy

iykyk >_>

(and yes at some point I will be making a Dinnerbone nametag for that blue sheep :D)

5. Something you find comforting

Cub omg. <3 I just find his voice so soothing and comforting, and bingeing through his episodes or watching his streams is very comforting for me. I'm really enjoying all the daily speedrunning streams atm bc they're on when I'm awake during the mornings for me, so I can have breakfast and chill with Cub and it's so so nice. <3

6. A TV show or movie you hope more people will watch

Double The Fist is an old Aussie TV comedy that I maintain is actually a metanarrative about the intersections of queerness, homophobia, and toxic masculinity (ESPECIALLY in the second series) that I am woefully inadequately skilled enough to actually write on, but trust me bro, everyone in the main cast is some flavour of queer and I'm here for it. It's very good.

bonus shout out for Set The Thames On Fire, bc it's such a good movie and more of you need to see it frfr. <3 There were some really, really interesting headcanons going around linking Noel's character in this movie back to his character in The Mighty Boosh as a bonus if you like that kind of thing.

7. A piece of clothing you love

look I won't be able to wear these for like another four months but they are super comfy and I adore them so much. <3

also yeah I didn't take these out of my chest of drawers bc lazy and also I live in a dark cave of a room, the lighting is terrible everywhere. XD

8. A thing from an old fandom

The Prisoner! Dhani Harrison got me onto this bc he named his band thenewno2, I adored their music, and when I looked them up, discovered what it was named after, and then I dived right in and fell in love with it. I can't remember which specific episode order I prefer out of the five or so that exist, but yeah!

I've written crossovers with The Prisoner for my last 2/3 fandoms, so maybe I'll get there for Hermitcraft one day. :D?

9. A thing from a new fandom

ConVex my beloveds <3

If you want to know why they took over my brain, I would like to point you at this 3min edit of ConVex lore and let you take it all in. :D They're insane, I love them so much. XD