#i am white but reblogging bc it is a good message

[romana-after-dark]

Blessed Be The Fruit: Part 2

Commander!Joel Miller x Handmaid!Reader

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(sorry if you get two notications, accidentally posted this to my mainlol)

Summary: A few decades into Gilead’s conception, you head into your first posting as a handmaid after an affair with a guardian landed you in trouble. Determined to keep your head low in order to keep your son safe, you take on the moniker of OfJoel. Commander Miller has very little to do with you and mrs. Miller regards you with disgust, however you find solace in an unlikely friendship with Commander Miller’s daughter from a handmaid 14 years ago, Ellie who just got done with wives school. You and your friend, Ofthomas start teacher her and her friend Reilly under her mothers nose. Slowly, Commander Miller begins spending time with you and you begin to learn more about the man he was before and an affair begins outside the confines of the ceremony. Although initially you go along with it out if survival, you find yourself falling for the version of Joel you saw in these late night rendezvous.

Which Joel is really him, and how will he react when his own daughters secrets are revealed?

Content and Warnings: DARK JOEL! DUB CON!

Although no violent rape happens like in TWW, reader is under systemic misogyny and a society of ritualized sex abuse. Everything other than the violent rape scenes, everything that happen in either The Handmaids Tale book or show are liable to happen here including but not limited to discussion of rape, child abuse, child marriage, ritualized sexual abuse, sexual abuse in general, acts of violence, major character deaths, mentions of miscarriage but never shown and never pregnancies we know of. Big ole homophobia warning, specifically in regards to lesbophobia. As for Joel, PIV sex, breeding kink, degrading (slut, whore etc but thing like Raider!joel) forced breeding and breeding kink, power dynamics, Joel is not the good guy but he’s also not the worst, slightly rough sex but not violent. Warnings are liable to be added as the story goes but I’ll always update. As always if I miss something please tell me, but i extensively label my warnings and in the end media consumption is your own choice. If you would like to know if this is a happy ending or not you can message me and I’ll tell you that way I don’t spoil for everyone but you can decide if this is for you.

Immersability: Reader has long hair, can conceive children theoretically. At one point, she has to pose as Ellie's mother and I know this can be loaded in terms of skin tone. I am no genetics expert but I know dark skinned parents can have white passing children, like Lional Richie and Nicole Richie. It's up to you to see if this is going to take you out of the story or not.

Support writers, reblog and leave comments!

Additional warnings: forced blowjob but reader is into it. Still dub con bc the nature of everything.

*******************

It was a strange feeling, knowing the entire household was keeping track of your monthly cycle. Mrs. Miller had been cued in by Aunt Lydia of where you were at last week, and since then you were told the date of the next ceremony; the night during the highpoint of your fertility. You wondered, not the first time, why the ceremony was only once a month, not during the entire time of ovulation, or why not two or three times a day… but you supposed that’s where the wives would draw a line. No rights to reading or education, no voice, no power. One wrong move and you too can become the victim of ritualized rape… but no, your husband fucking a random woman more than *checks notes you aren’t actually allowed to read* once a month is too far. 

Internal humor is how to cope. The reality of the situation was terrifying, but it’s not like you were shocked by the idea. You had grown up your whole life knowing this would be your fate if you strayed; well, if you strayed and you were fertile. That fertility is what landed you in this problem in the first place.

It wasn’t love. There was no grand story to it. You were married at 15 to a man in his 20’s who hit you, as was his right. Even that wasn’t as dramatic as it could have been, just slaps, shoved into furniture, things of that sort. When a local guardian made advances, you took him up on it. The sex was fine, and eventually produced a baby; your son, who looked just like his real father. 

The guardian was sent to a new local and seemed indifferent to his son who was placed with some commander and his wife. You didn’t even get to say goodbye to him. He probably has a new name now, something biblical, and you often wonder what it is, what word it is that calls his attention. Babies recognize their name around 6 months after all. Benjamin? Levi? Asa? You named him… well, that doesn’t really matter now. It’s a name he’ll never know as his.

Angela had a better story. There was a group of you, a few other handmaids in your region and Angela rallied you all together, sharing your real names and stories. She had lived one hell of a life, always brave. As a low ranking wife she went behind her husbands back for the underground resistance at the young age of 16 and was pregnant a few times, none of which made it very long. For ten years she fought against Gilead, continuing the tradition of her youth. Hell, even before Gilead’s official formation she fought, being a part of pro-LGBT and women’s rights activism since middle school. After her husband was killed in war a guardian attempted to rape her and Angela stabbed him to death. Badass. Gilead didn’t see it that way, despite espousing wanting to protect women. She was going to be hung, of course, but a pregnancy test reviled she was pregnant again, a baby she carried to term, this time. He died of illness a few months later. Regardless, she’d had a healthy baby, and was sent to Thomas Miller’s for her first posting last year.

Aunt Lydia had told Angela that this commander Miller would suit her temperament and you understood what that meant. Angela had confirmed the impression that you had gotten early that week.

Thomas Miller had kind eyes. The kind of eyes that warmed you, relaxed you. You bet he was a charmer in another life. The brothers seemed close, Joel- Commander Miller you mean, lighting up around him like you only see with Elizabeth.

Commander Miller adored his daughter, that much was clear. Many men in Gilead only viewed their children -especially daughters- as possessions or pawns, but it was clear it wasn’t like that between them. You wondered if that closeness is why she wasn’t married yet. At 14 she had been out of wives school for a few months, and it was time to at least get her betrothed. God forbid she waste of moment of potential fertility. Yet, Commander Miller didn’t even seem to be looking.

 Few knew more than him how dangerous it was as a woman in this world, and Elizabeth wasn’t a woman- she was a child, still. Commander Miller also seemed aware that Elizabeth was… particular. She only had one friend, Riley, a child from before the handmaid system who was married already. Mrs. Jones, she was called by Lisa, you and Mrs. Miller (who always tried to do things by the book). Joel refused to call her Mrs. Jones, saying “I’m not addressing a child who I’ve been forced to play dolls with as Mrs. anything. She’s Riley to me.” Outside though he did things right. Can’t be too familiar with another man’s wife, even if he’s known that wife since she was in pull ups. 

The ceremony was tonight, and it seemed like everyone knew. Angela did, but only because you mentioned it.

“Got any questions?” She asked you, always the older sister, even if she only had a few years on you.

“Believe it or not, I’m not a virgin.” You joke back.

Angela laughs and nudges you with her shoulder. “I know, it’s just your first ceremony. I mean, it’s pretty straightforward to what they teach you in the Rachel and Leah Center, only-” She seemed to shut herself off with that, but you urge her on.

“Only what? You can’t leave me there.”

She swallowed thickly before attempting again, somewhere between a cringe and a childish giggle. “Well, you know, genetically-”

“Angela.”

“Brothers have similarities-”

“Just say it!”

Angela stopped, pulling you in to whisper. “Tommy has a massive cock.”

You stand there frozen in shock until a guardian shouts at you to keep moving and stop whispering. There was a lot there, including the implication that if they share genetic similarities, Joel might be harder to take than expected, especially without foreplay, but the thing that really struck you, the thing that sent your mind whirling was how Angela phrased it. She called Commander Miller, Tommy.

*

He was handsome, Commander Miller. At least there was that. Another handmaid, Ofglen, was stuck with a 70 year old man. Several girls had commented in hushed whispers that you and Ofthomas were luck; the Miller brothers were a dream posting, comparatively. So many men were ugly, old, or cruel. Ofhim had scars from lashes on her back. Some of the wives were worse, Ofcole’s wife would starve her when her monthly cycle proved the ceremony useless. Mrs. Miller was a pain and was rude, but she’d never take anything like that into he own hands. She wanted to play the part of dutiful wife so bad. That didn’t stop her from constantly making digs at her daughter.

Mrs. Miller requested your aid in her garden once, using you to dump all her feelings. She confessed the reason you were here was her doing; Elizabeth had proven a failure in her eyes, and she wanted another child to raise, to start over. She said her father spoiled her, let her get away with to much. Commander Miller refused to physically discipline her, and Mrs. Miller was insistent that that’s what the girl needed. Commander Miller reminded her she was just a teenager, and Mrs. Miller countered that she is a woman, not a child. You were married off young and it had seemed fine. You felt like an adult. But now you look at Elizabeth and think ‘did I look that young? Did I seem that childlike?’ 

Mrs. Miller had expressed that she had hoped wives school would fix her, or that maybe after coming back, Riley’s influence would be good. Ellie’s friend, Riley, was 16 and was married to a man in his 20’s, both children from before who had been taken from an unworthy family. An age gap, but certainly not the worse you’d seen, certainly, but now you were near her husbands age the the idea of marrying a 16 year old…

All this to say, Commander Miller was a blessing. You’d been lying if you said you never thought of him when you masturbated. And of course you masturbated. His sweaty body all encompassing around you, brown curls falling on his face, his facial hair on your skin…

*

It was time for the ceremony, you and Mrs. Miller were in your respective positions, you laid up between Gina’s spread legs in her blue dress, her hand gripping your arms with your legs bent. Commander Miller emerged from the bathroom and your chest tightened at the sight of him, knowing what was coming. The pomp and circumstance had passed, the prays having been done in the living room with members of the household: You, Commander Miller, Mrs. Miller, Lisa, and the driver, Isaac. There had been a passive aggressive spat between Mrs. and Commander Miller on the idea of Elizabeth attending the prayers.

Mrs. Miller: “She needs to participate in household activities”

Commander Miller: “It’s bad enough she knows whats going on, I don’t need her to participate.”

Mrs. Miller: “She’ll be a wife soon enough herself, god-willing she’ll have a handmaid of her own!”

“God-willing she won't need to!”

Mrs. Miller scoffed. “As if God would find her worthy in her state!”

Commander Miller grew deadly calm, jaw set in a tense gaze as he stared at his wife, you and Elizabeth standing on the other side of the room. “Woman, you do not speak about her like that again, understood?”

The intensity of his eyes must have been warning enough, Gina backing down. “Yes sir.”

He straightened up. “Ellie, you are excused. Gina, drop it.”

The tension had carried over into the bedroom, the air thick with it as the reality of what was going to happen settled in. Commander Miller’s bulge was prominent even in his dark pants, having worked himself up alone before coming out here and undressing once again. Just pulling down his pants and underwear, god forbid you see him shirtless. This wasn’t for your pleasure, you filthy whore, this wasn’t even for his. This was for you to bare him and his wife a child. A son to lead the family in righteousness, or a daughter to bare more children and so on. This was a job.

You hear a spit and the distinct sound of masturbation, then a few more spitting sounds. It took everything in you to not look at him, keeping your eyes glued on the ceiling but the picture was clear in his head. The tall, broad, powerful commander furiously jerking off the the site of your body spread of before him. Was that for you? Or was he looking at his wife? He sure didn’t seem very fond of her, but there was no denying she was beautiful.

“Joel, do you really need to do that? It’s obscene.”

“Well you can’t expect her to take it dry when you can barely-”

“Joel!”

“Well unless you want me to-”

“JOEL!”

You couldn’t help it, opening your eyes to see him, his face scowling but eyes with a glint of mischief. He was fucking with her, purposefully embaressing her infront of a lowly handmaid to get back at her for what she said about Elizabeth.

When Commander Miller slid into you, you were suddenly acutely aware that this was going to be difficult. Slowly he moved inside and the inches just. Kept. Coming. Your breath hitched and you bite down on your lip trying to keep any possible sound from coming out, no gasps of pain that could be mistaken for pleasure. The stretch was unbearable by the time Joel was fully sheathed inside of you, thrusting as the tears pricked up in your eyes. It would be quick. There was no presence of needing to last, at least. Just get it done. Fill you up and hopefully you conceive. Problem was… the stretch.

 It wasn’t your fault, really. It was natural, wasn’t it? Even under these circumstances. Or maybe you were a harlot, only redeemable by producing a child for a high value man. That's why you were in this position, right? You could feel yourself getting wet and you wished he would hurry up before the smell of sex and arousal fill the room, before the fucking sound became impossible to ignore. The warmth in your belly grew, tightening, the feeling of being filled so completely was just dizzying and you needed him to finish, now.

Then it happened, the orgasm hitting you so hard your eyes rollback in your head and it takes everything you have not to cry out. You can only pray Joel isn’t looking at your face as you attempt to stifle every bodily reaction as you pulse around him. Warmth floods your insides when he stills inside you, a light groan from his lips. He’s allowed to make a few sounds; he’s the man, after all. It’s supposed to feel good for him, but for you? This was wrong. This was bad, and you were going to be in a fuck ton of trouble now. Aunt Lydia never said anything about orgasming. Did the law have a specific article about this, or was it left up to the commander's discretion? You hadn’t seen Joel raise a hand to Gina yet, but you were only a week in. You open your eyes, daring to take a peak at Commander Miller in order to gauge your future. 

You can see him smiling at you before tucking himself back into his pants to go clean up. Mrs. Miller instructed you to lay there for a while, bettering the chances of it taking, and left the room. When Commander Miller exited the bathroom and returned to the bed chambers, he excused you with a soft “You can go now, darl’n”

*

Another 2 weeks went by without incident, and it appeared Commander Miller wasn’t going to do or say anything about your embarrassing indiscretion. Angela had told you to play with yourself before the ceremony to get yourself wet, but you had been too scared of this exact scenario happening. Fat lot of good it did you, huh?

Unfortunately for everyone involved, you got your period as expected. One would think you didn’t want to get pregnant. The odds of dying in child birth had increased despite growing technology. It was the pregnancy complications and the insistence of home births even when the pregnancy was warning them not too. Gilead’s obsession with rituals meant that there was also an extensive one for childbirth and that obsession rendered many women dead. In addition to that, there’s the horror of growing a child inside you, and even if it was a healthy pregnancy and that child lives, after a period of breastfeeding you are taken away from the life you created to go to another posting.

If you produce a child and remain behaved, when you are no longer of birthing age, you get to retire in peace. Whatever that meant. You weren’t sure you entirely cared, one way or another, but the idea of the wall was scary. 3 postings, 3 years per posting, this was your window.

You often heard Elizabeth sneaking downstairs after the household went to sleep; always after Joel went down. Your room was right by the stairs, so you heard it all. God knows you aren’t sleeping.

You were bored. So bored. Bored enough to sneak downstairs after Ellie and go investigate, so you do. Slowly and carefully you go down stairs and find Commander Miller’s office, creeping up to the door to listening. You hear music. Music that was supposed to have been destroyed a decade ago, and you take a moment to enjoy the sound. Steady acoustic guitar, soft male singing.

“Can we listen to it again?” Ellie’s voice spoke from behind the door.

“After your lesson.” Commander Miller.

“UUUGGGHHH”

“I thought you wanted to learn?”

“I do…” Ellie acquiesced, and you can hear the sounds of pulling a book off a shelf and opening it. Biology. Commander Miller was teaching Ellie biology. This was unheard of, especially for a commander's daughter, a woman who was supposed to be getting married off soon. She didn’t need to learn science, to listen to ungodly music? So why was a high ranking Commander not only allowing it, but teaching her?

You move to go back upstairs where you belong, but the creak of the floor gives you away. White-hot panic, the kind where everything runs hot and the world suddenly feels funny floods your system. You freeze, hoping to God no one heard you. That goes out the window when the door flies open, Commander Miller spotting you and yanking you inside the room by the dress.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” He shouts, loud and angry and so close to you that you can smell his breath.

“Dad?” A panicked Ellie stood to the side, drawing your attention. She looked terrified, and you felt sorry for scaring the poor girl.

Joel gripped your face, fingers digging into his skin as he forced you to look at him. “Eyes on me. You don’t look at her.” Keeping your face forward, Joel turned to Ellie. “Go upstairs, I’ll take care of this.”

“But dad-”

“Ellie. I got this, you go to your room, it’ll talk to you in a bit, okay?”

Ellie nodded, going out the door and only stopped to eye you for a moment.

Joel turned back to you. “What did you hear?”

“Nothing-”

“Liar!” He screamed, fingers pressing harder into your skin.

“I heard the music! And, and some of the lesson, but I won’t say anything I swear-”

“Of course you won’t,” Joel chuckled. “Who are they going to believe? A commander and the first daughter of Gilead, or a handmaid who cums during the ceremony.” Your eyes go wide at that, the way Joel’s grip loosens but never leaves, thumb slowly beginning to trace at your cheeks. “Yeeeah, that’s right, I felt you. Little bitch in heat couldn’t help cumming on cock? Didn’t even need any build up, huh? You just take whatever's given to you. Little whore, all pent up…” 

God, he looked good like this; towering over you, broad shoulders closing in on you and making it clear there was nowhere to go. When he placed his thumb at your lips, you didn’t even hesitate to take it in your mouth and begin to bob your head, eyes closing just a little. “Dirty, dirty girl…” Joel taunted. “Just need to get filled up. All that pent up slut, nowhere to go. Tell me, sweet thing… Do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

Your sucking stopped, but Joel continued moving his thumb in your mouth. “Yeah, I know you do. Get on your fucking knees.” He didn’t wait, shoving you down to your knees, his cock entering your mouth before you had a chance to think.

The stretch pried open your mouth, pulling at your chapped and dry lips. The bulbous tip hit the back of your throat and made you gag, but he wasn’t stopping.

“Dirty fucking whore, that’s how you ended up here, isn’t it? Needed to be constantly filled, your husband wasn’t enough?” He thrust into you with vigor, your sputtering sounds only spurring him on more while you breathed through your nose, you couldn’t help but whine, preening at the sensation of a dick in your mouth once again. It felt, so, so good, despite the circumstances. “Don’t you worry, I’ll fill you up alright, fill you up enough you stay full.” His pace began to falter after a few more minutes. “Fill you up with my baby, fulfill your biological destiny like the pretty little whore you are.” You wriggle, trying to get some sory of sensation between your legs as you hungrily sucked at him, desperately needing his cum inside you.

He spilled into you, salty and thick and so fucking good, you swallow down every goddamn drop.

With a hand fisted in your dress, Joel pulled you up and to your feet, shoving you back against the wall as he cleaned up. “You are going to apologize to her, and after that.” Joel was close up against you again. “You are going to keep my daughter’s name out of your fucking mouth.” His tongue flicked out to lick at the corner of your mouth and swiped his tongue over your lips. “After tonight, we on’t be wasting one more drop in your mouth. Every last bit of me goes to filling you up, but this-” He patted your stomach where his cum was heading. “Should keep you satisfied until next time.”

Until next time.

Joel pulled you upstairs and into Ellie’s room where he shoved you forward. You fold your hands in front of you and bow your head, hoping she can’t see any evidence of you being a whore for her father on your face. You doubted Joel would’ve allowed that.

“I’m sorry for intruding, Miss Miller. It won’t happen again.” You are careful not to imply you heard anything, know anything, and certainly not imply that she did anything wrong. Joel wouldn’t stand for that.

“Yeah, whatever.” Was all she replied before Joel sent you out of the room, and all you hear as the door closes is “It’s okay, baby girl. It’s handled.”

But your thoughts were swirling on something else, how turned on you were, how dominant he was, how fucking hot he is, but most important, those last few words.

Until next time.

******************

We get to the spice nice and fast ayyyyyyyyeeee

We love Joel being protective of his daughter <3

Let me know your thoughts!

Remember, reblogs spread the work, comments means the world!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @dins-riduur-anthe @morallyinept @fan-fiction-floozy @med494 @taliarose12 @flvrdoll @k-ra @sam-2me @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @moriartyyouwhore @hereforthepedrofanfic @alwaysmicado @noisynightmarepoetry @kyloispunk @jenna-ortega @lunitareads @labyrinthofheartagrams @swimmjacket

[gingerrroot]

a (re)introduction

hiiii~

you can call me ginger.

US-based, white, cis, disabled, queer, survivor in my 30's.

my expertise lies in trauma and sexual violence, and i studied to be a clinical mental health counselor, but that's not what i am actually doing for work. i work as a bartender at a community-focused nano-brewery, and as an assistant to a local construction/renovation company that focuses on historic buildings. i used to work at a pig boarding facility and foster home, with one of the leading experts in mini-pigs, so i also know a lot about them.

my interests include love, beauty, community, growing, learning, reading, creating, cultivating, nature, eating, sleeping, video games, tv, my pets, pickles, pigs (the animals), astrology, parapsychology, and my husband.

i do my best to tag things appropriately if you filter certain content, for whatever reason. for example, food will be tagged, bugs/insects/creepy crawlies will be tagged, any posts related to violence of any kind will be tagged. if they are my own posts, they will likely also contain a read more.

all newly uploaded media will contain captions or a description in the alt field, or in the body of the post.

my boundaries are below, TLDR: i can and will block you for any reason, don't get overly familiar, rude, or cross my boundaries.

you do not know me. we are not friends. (unless you do, and we are). i am not here to build a parasocial relationship with anyone. not every single aspect of my life, thoughts, emotions, or relationships are fully represented here for you to have a full and accurate view of my life. i am a human, please treat me like one, and approach in good faith, and i will do the same.

please do not message me with trauma dumping, oversharing, or asking for personal information.

if we are mutuals and/or interact regularly, these first two do not apply to you, but i do ask you to Ask before divulging trauma.

if we are mutuals, and/or interact regularly, you are free to ask for other forms of contact, just let me know your username and such bc i won't know who you are if it's not the same.

i am not interested romantically or sexually. do not sexualize me or get sexual with me. yes, i used to sell content. if you are trusted, you can have access to my stash for a price. if i decide to post more content, it'll likely be here for free.

i am no here to debate or argue, please do not follow me bc you want to keep tabs or talk shit. if you've got something to say, please say it, or just block me.

if i am incorrect, misinformed, or have reblogged or posted something that is a scam or bigoted: PLEASE tell me! please engage in good faith. i will happily remove the post and learn more, where applicable.

please do not repost any of my content without my permission! just ask, and credit me (link to the original post, or tag me). if you're not going to write *good* alt text/a *good* image description, you may not repost anything (feel free to copy/paste the original image description and edit it).

you DO NOT have permission to repost/upload any of my old camming content, should you have or gain access to it. please be respectful and keep it where it is.

[doomspiral]

hello! I was the anon ask you received yesterday, and i wanted to send it to you off anon if that helps with resolving the issue properly and clarifying a few things. again, i stress that there is nothing wrong with facing the facts—i knew lithuania was going to win most likely because he's european, white and therefore more popular. what i meant was just how you referred to the other poc countries—i didn't have an issue until you used the word "sacrifices." i understand it may have seemed like a harmless joke and as if i am being overly sensitive over a small word, but it was hurtful—both to me and other poc friends who saw the post—because it seemed to perhaps confirm an unconscious thought by the fandom, which is that we exist as accessories to the popular characters and that we don't have much agency out of them...

for context, i remember browsing through the aph south korea tag to find the round 2 poll, and after voting for that round i looked at the reblogs to see what people had to say out of curiosity, after which i had seen the tag of your reblog. as a south korean and a poc it really stuck with me and felt like an unconscious admission: that pocs will always be unpopular, yet people seem to pretend that both are on an equal status

the small things that you can brush off your mind stick with us, because it relates to us and how we are seen in this fandom. but whenever we, the minority, voice these concerns, it usually ends with our voices being dismissed as "not being able to have fun and enjoy the fandom" or "raining on the parade."

i don't want to assume that the final post about how fandom must be treated was a vaguepost about the ask, but simple things such as "just have fun and don't be a party pooper" is on the similar vein as "they're just characters" or "hetalia is just an anime." now, this wouldn't be an issue if hetalia wasn't an anime about countries(meaning there is history and politics)! and so a lot of pocs struggle to have fun in the sense that you do because even though exclusion isn't upfront and obvious, it's all in the little things.

i don't wish to accuse or say that this is how you think of us, but rather a reminder. no matter how influential you are as a blog, being a small or big blog is not an obstacle to stepping back and seeing if what you do or say is inclusive to everyone!

Hey there, thank you for coming off anon for this. I’m sorry for how brash I am about anonymous messages, I’ve just been in online fandom spaces since 2006 and have been sent a lot of bait that reads as well-intended, and seen it get muddled and ugly within hours. I know that messaging someone like this can be intimidating so I hope my response reassures you that this is an okay and good way to go about things that have hurt you, regardless of who did it.

I agree actually, that my wording was not good. Ideally, someone who knows me would have said something by now but it's possible those are the people who know what I meant and let it slide bcs of that. I used excitable text about it, but the thought process was actually that I didn’t think the lineup was fair for a first round, and that the act of seeding a character we know damn well is popular among horny bloggers being lined up with notably less popular characters I very rarely see people going ham for. Did I say that? No lmao, that point was left to the wind and this was the result.

You are correct to not assume the fandom and fun post was related to my responses to the anon, it 100% was not. I had moved on by then and was thinking about how my favorite rarepairs now have people talking about them and telling me it's because I made it look fun or interesting. Back In My Day and frankly what I’m used to, it’s fandom that’s broken into little groups that talk about a character/ship/trope most often, while also branching out now and then into larger fandom when they catch an event the other group is doing. I do stand by the fact you have to make your own corner of this fandom, not just to convince anyone but because that’s what is going to make it worth participating in the first place.

This is a different topic than fans of color pointing out that the largest groups are for white m/m ships and made up of mainly white fans, and what that comes with in the larger scheme of things. I have 0 intention of speaking over that, which is why I make and share a lot of posts about fandom positivity, and roping your friends into a good time, while also sharing posts from fans of color outlining the problems they face in fandom.

TL,DR; If I do something shitty, anyone can pull me aside and say “hey dude, that sucked” and I will listen if they want to go into further detail. This has happened plenty of times already and will happen plenty more, does not hurt my feelings. I also do not trust anons to do this or actually care about the outcome. I’m sorry that I caused you distress with my response to the latter.

[tacticalhimbo]

sorry i have to rant and yes reblogs are off because i do not give a shit but!!!

to spit on the progress flag (i used the latest iteration, i know there are ones without the intersex flag but no. intersex inclusion is vital and so many of us, esp trans folk, perpetuate intersexism) is just so... confusing. like. it gives the energy of someone who's mad a flag got popular. especially for the criticisms that were given.

like. are you also going around every time you see an inter-community specific flag like these and saying they're not necessary?

featured: bipoc lesbian flag, disabled queer flag, two-spirit / indigenous queer flag

do these also "disrespect gilbert baker's legacy" (or in the case of the lesbian flag, emily gwen's)?

are the black, indigenous, and other people of color making these flags making the assumption they don't belong in the greater queer community? or is it the rampant racism and white supremacy within the community that makes them unwelcome?

are the disabled queers making these flags making they assumption they don't belong in the greater queer community? or is it the rampant ableism within the community and in physical queer spaces that makes them feel unwelcome?

nobody said bipoc and disabled queers don't encompass the community's core values. nobody said we are ending our connection with the rainbow.

the creation of these flags does not take away from that. the creation, and usage, of these flags is to show recognition and solidarity. to show that, hey, these people are here whether y'all on your high horses like them or not. that is just one of the worst, bad-faith assumptions you could possibly make.

but then again, that tells me more about your (op and those who agree with op) involvement with the queer community and who you are as a person. you are the problem.

do i like daniel quasar? hell no. xyr a white artist who stole the idea from philidelphia's bipoc queer community and has done some shady things of xyr own (nice misgendering on y'all's part by the way. pronouns are they/xe and y'all just used he/him bc fuck it am i right? btw: pronouns aren't negotiable or something to be earned. you care about trans folk? you fucking use them).

but if there's any fucking thing the queer community is good at, it's reclamation. it's (hopefully, though the popularity of that post seems to prove me wrong on this front) recognizing the importance of a message and spreading it on our own terms.

don't like it? don't fucking use it. don't wanna hear about queers that aren't just like you? keep living in your echo chamber <3 but remember...

then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me

[dumbdomb]

these out-of-line anon people are so invested in me being an allocishet white woman who loves misogyny and conforming to the status quo... like, they don't even care how many women they have to disrespect, dehumanize, and degrade to make Me become this unrealistic fantasy person in their head. there are books, movies, fanfic, ai chat bots, and it seems nothing compares to telling some random person online that they need to change and be exactly what someone else wants and tells them to be...

they call me a misogynist for not being interested in misogyny kinks. they tell me i'm kink-shaming when i use the language of those who ARE into so-called "hard, gross, icky, dark" kinks - i've never used those words as my own or as my opinion. (that is what the people who are interested in those kinks refer to them as, and it would be unusual for someone into those kinks to not be aware of what everyone in the room is saying they are... plus, the words tend to change after awhile. like how people talk about "proship" now instead of using the term "map" etc etc.)

personally, i do think it makes it difficult to consent to viewing or interacting with those blogs when they are not specifically or plainly stating what content they post or reblog. it's not informative, i'm not aware of what i would be consenting to by viewing their blogs when it is given a vague "hard kinks" label... (like, what does that mean?! you understand? what is "hard" to one person may not be to another.)

i've had to add more and more to my dni section ONLY BC people with these kinks would NOT accept that i simply was not interested in it, or in participating in rp about "icky kinks". i have no investment or concerns with what other people are into, i just don't want someone to send asks or message me in degrading, misogynistic ways bc i'm not into those kinks. AND PEOPLE GET SO MAD AT ME for NOT having the same kinks as them!!! seriously!!! that is literally abusive behavior, and not at all tolerable in bdsm...!!!!!

it's like they're upset that i'm not the made-up character in their head and am a fully grown, autonomous person living in the real world and i don't want or need to do any of those things they keep messaging me about. i've tried having my neutral pronouns be respected, and they weren't - until i added "HE"/they, only then did people stop using "she/her" exclusively when messaging or referring to me - but then mostly it would only be "he/him" and that's not what i wanted, either... so, eventually, i changed it back to they/them, and at least my usual followers have been more respectful about this.

i don't get why so many people here are so quick to be negative, hateful, and unwilling to have genuine talks with other people. it's as if every time there's an interaction, it means one person is right and one is wrong, with no nuance or complexity or room for growth, learning, mistakes, understanding, compassion... i like to keep things slow and honest, to try my best to understand someone else's pov. it feels like, more often than not, people aren't interested in being authentic and sympathetic with anyone who is not an actual, literal clone and hive mind.

idk, just voicing some thoughts... i've changed my age limit from 18+ to 25+ now. if we're mutuals, it's all good, and you don't need to worry about that. i'm considering making another account somewhere - not leaving this one, though. i want to get more into some old hobbies, but i'm not sure where the best place would be to share. it's starting to feel like the wild west online lol (ah, ab3080 et al...)

i'd like to be among more people who appreciate allies and don't require everyone to be exactly the same person they are. i don't need to COMPLETELY agree with LITERALLY every unspoken thought and opinion another person has in order to be in alignment with our values, etc. i'd like to be able to learn from others and not always be shunned for not having the EXACT experiences as they've had, and so on... it feels really strange writing this bc it really seems like the most basic, early childhood development learning skills and i don't understand why it's so hard for so many to be in a room with other people and it not be like a war room where everyone is your worst most secret enemy or something even more awful...

idk, like. can people be just a little bitsy tiny bit normal about other people existing...? (i keep getting that part from one of marina's songs in my head while thinking about this concept: "...not everyone is out to screw you over..." and i get the sense that maybe a lot of people are feeling this way lately; acting from a place of high-alert fear, anxiety, paranoia, insecurity...)

[mccallhero]

sorry, i'm just going to reblog this b/c i realized replies have a really low character limit lmao

my original message:

i’m interested in hearing what kind of actions and mistakes you think scott should be held accountable for? i’m not saying that he hasn’t made mistakes, but i know everyone has their own lists in mind, so i think in order to have a discussion about this, a good place to start would be to see where you think scott’s biggest faults are. i know my username and bio show my bias quite clearly, but i would actually be interested in having this discussion!

your response:

Thank you for this. I just dealt with some real mob mentality for wanting to talk to people in my Fandom. I appreciate an actual interest. The one thing that always stood out to me was Scott using Derek to bite Gerard. Derek would've gladly helped him off he had included him on the plans. He used the bite against Derek, who described it as a gift. He made him use it on the man who murdered his family. I know Scott thought he was protecting his mom, but at what cost. He tried to kill Gerard, he used Derek to do it. And then never apologized or showed remorse, to my knowledge.

(sorry for taking a few days to respond, i didn't have time until right now)

first i'd like the say the reason i responded to your post was because i did see the other responses, and i felt like a lot of the responses were rushed to immediately defend scott and assume your opinions on a lot of other issues the fandom has with scott's character while not giving a genuinely good argument. i think this happened bc there is a history in the fandom of scott's character being treated extremely poorly, and a lot of opinions of scott do seem hypocritical b/c his actions are no worse than stiles' or derek's, but stiles and derek are forgiven by the fandom while scott is not. i also think it's important to mention that scott is brown while stiles and derek are white, and so the optics of forgiving stiles and derek while admonishing scott are not great at best, and there have been a lot of racist themes in this fandom against scott

the reason i mention this is b/c i think that is why the other responses were based on assumptions of your opinions, and weren't as open to discussion. it is a trend within this fandom to hate scott, and as someone who has loved scott's character for a decade now, it is easy to see that the general opinion of scott is affected by scott's skin colour. that being said, i am not saying that your opinion or thoughts are affected by this, but i do believe that is why a lot of scott defenders tend to be defensive of his character and is important to acknowledge

now that i discussed that, i will get into discussing scott's actions, which is what your original post was about. i asked what actions scott should be held accountable for in order to find a basis for this discussion, and the one that sticks out in your mind is scott using derek to bite gerard, and i would agree that scott never verbally apologized or showed remorse for this action. i think where we would disagree (please, tell me if i am wrong) is that i don't view this as an action scott needs to apologize or redeem himself for. yes, it's very likely that if derek did know scott's true plans, derek would go along with it--but i think there's also a strong chance of that going wrong

scott's plans of killing gerard depended on what gerard would do--in that, the only way for the bite to kill gerard was if gerard demanded derek give him the bite by threatening innocents. remember that scott and deaton created the plan to poison gerard with mountain ash before gerard ever had control over the kanima, which meant that when scott came up with the plan, he still had the option to walk up to gerard and kill him. the reason scott didn't feel bad about the potential of his actions leading to gerard's death was because gerard was burying his own grave by threatening good people and forcing derek to give him the bite. if scott had told derek about his plan when it was originally concocted, there would also be a high likelihood that derek would see that as permission to just kill gerard, which is not something scott wanted--again, scott's actions would only lead to gerard's death if and only if gerard was evil

so scott didn't tell derek because scott didn't trust derek, which was extremely valid in season 2. in this season, derek had manipulated teenagers into turning into werewolves by preying on their vulnerabilities and insecurities, something that scott was actively against and tried to prevent happening with boyd. scott didn't view the bite as a gift because it destroyed his life and knew it would destroy others (he was right, erica and boyd are dead). i'm not saying this from an anti-derek position, because i do believe derek changed entirely from who he was in s2, but him manipulating teenagers into taking the bite was fucked and alone would be a valid enough reason for scott not to trust him. also in this season, derek had insisted on killing lydia based on the fear that she was the kanima, while scott had to fight against it. then derek had insisted on killing jackson and scott had to fight against it. derek and scott only eventually teamed up on the agreement that they would try to save jackson, which derek ended up betraying and then attempted to kill jackson. derek also ended s2 by teaming up with peter, who is not only a villain, but is also the villain that destroyed scott's life. all of these are examples of why scott didn't trust derek in season 2, and why scott didn't tell derek of the plan

it's up to the viewer to decide whether scott's actions were justified or not, but ultimately i think the reason scott never seemed remorseful for this action was because he didn't need to be. derek was not a friend to scott in season 2, though they were allies and i do think derek cared about scott, but derek in s2 was perhaps at his most flawed and he spent all of s3a dealing with the consequences of his mistakes and growing from them (losing erica and boyd, but then eventually giving up his alpha status to save cora). scott was a teenager who was trying his best to do the right thing in a world where everyone was trying to get him to do the wrong thing. he just wanted to save his friends, other teenagers who were victims of the actions of adults, and derek (in s2) was actively making victims out of teenagers

you also mentioned in the original post that "accountability doesn't always have to be a verbal apology but an acceptance, or apology through actions." i don't believe scott ever seemed remorseful for this action, but i also think it's important to acknowledge that after s2, scott does become a lot more friendly towards derek and open to teaming up together. yes, a lot of this is because derek is beginning to change into a better person, but scott shows a more open-minded perspective towards derek before even interacting with him again after the battle with gerard. in s3x01:

STILES: You wanna ask Derek for help? Why? Why? SCOTT: He’s got the triskele tattooed on his back. So there has to be a way to do it without healing, right?

scott is already willing to ask derek for help with a personal issue, which shows that he is willing to be friendly with derek, something that wouldn't have happened in s2. scott in s3a also takes on the task of becoming a better person. in 3x01:

BLAKE: I’m sure it’s an emergency if your mother needs you to leave school. But I’m going to give you a warning, in the nicest possible way.  I am well aware of your attendance record. I don’t want to see you slip back into old habits. SCOTT: I won’t. It’s gonna be different this year. BLAKE: Resolutions are only good if you stick with them, Scott. SCOTT: I will. I promise it won’t be ephemeral.

and

SCOTT: Why didn’t you tell me before? MELISSA: Honestly, I was hoping I didn’t have to. SCOTT: What do you mean? MELISSA: Everything that you’ve been doing. The extra reading, the summer school... Saving up for the bike even though it scares me half to death, I - Honey, I just didn’t want to disrupt a good rhythm. SCOTT: It’s not gonna stop. I’m gonna be better this year. A better student, a better son, a better friend, a better everything. I promise.

this change in scott's behaviour is based off of a lot of personal failures in s2, and looking at this while also considering his new openness to being friendly with derek, i think it can be seen that scott is trying to also have a better relationship with derek. another example in 3x01:

SCOTT: Hey. Are you gonna tell me who that was back there? That alpha? DEREK: A rival pack. It’s my problem. I know you wanna help and you did, I owe you one. Now go home. Go back to being a teenager. SCOTT: Uh. Hey Derek. If you wanna repay back that favor now... there is something you can do for me.

scott then not only asks for derek's help with the tattoo, but also opens up to derek (and stiles) in 3x01:

DEREK: Yeah, I see it.  Two bands, right? SCOTT: Yeah. DEREK: What does it mean? SCOTT: I dunno. It’s just something I traced with my fingers. DEREK: Why’s it so important to you? SCOTT: Do you know what the word tattoo means? STILES: To mark something. SCOTT: That’s in Tahitian.  In Samoan it means Open Wound. I knew I wanted to get a tattoo when I turned eighteen. I always wanted one. I just decided to get it now to make it kind of a reward. DEREK: For what? SCOTT: For not calling or texting Allison all summer. Even when I really wanted to. Even when it was so hard not to sometimes. I was trying to give her the space she wants. Now I’m four months later, it still hurts. Still feels like a, uh... STILES: Like an open wound. SCOTT: Yeah. DEREK: Pain’s gonna be worse than anything you’ve ever felt.

scott did not need to open up in front of derek, but instead chose to, which is another action that showed he was willing to build a better relationship with derek. scott then calls derek in 3x02 for help in recognizing the mark that braeden left on lydia and allison's arms.

Allison: That girl was looking for Scott. I'm here to help him, not you. Derek: You wanna help? Find something real. Scott: Derek... Give her a chance. Okay, they're on our side now.

note that scott specifically says 'our side,' which again, shows not only is he willing to team up with derek and to turn to derek for help, but genuinely considers them being on the same side now, which is not what he considered in s2.

again, this all occurs before derek shows that he is changing, which i believe derek begins to exhibit later in 3x02 by how much he wanted to save erica and boyd, and then confirms in 3x03 when he sacrifices his own well-being to try and save an innocent person when cora and boyd are locked in the boiler room with jennifer blake.

with their last (known) interaction being scott forcing derek to give gerard the bite, i don't think it's absurd to assume that this is scott taking accountability for his actions. no, he doesn't feel remorseful about what he did, but he does know that if he and derek had a better relationship, then it could have been handled differently. personally, i think this is a great resolution for what happened in s2, because even with scott forcing derek to give gerard the bite, i think it would be unreasonable to paint scott as 100% the villain and derek as 100% the victim after what derek had done in s2. yes, in that act alone, without considering anything else, scott was the one doing something evil. however, for the majority of the other scenes of s1 and s2, the dynamic was the opposite and derek was the one doing something evil and scott was the one suffering for it. and scott's actions were necessary to stop gerard, while a lot of derek's actions were just mistakes that derek eventually realized he was in the wrong for, and it was a direct result of these actions that scott didn't trust him. scott then did try to fix what was wrong with their relationship, by trusting him more and more in s3a and turning to derek when he needed help.

your original post ended with: "Am I wrong about Scott? Did he show his apology through changed behavior or some other action when I wasn't looking? Was he held accountable and learned his lessons?"

i wrote all of this to show that i do believe, in the action that always stood out to you, that scott did change his behaviour in order to prevent a situation like that one from ever reoccurring. i don't view it as an apology as, like i said, i don't think scott needed to apologize, but i do think he knew that the situation was unfortunate and he took accountability by changing his relationship with derek. he held himself accountable and made it his goal to become a better person, and succeeded as from after that moment, he and derek only became closer and they looked to each other for support.

I saw an interesting argument that Derek and Stiles, even Peter, were less accountable for their mistakes and actions than Scott McCall.

I'd like to have a civil discussion about this topic.

For me personally, Peter was never touted as a "good guy" so that argument is just silly and is immediately thrown to the side. He is a great villain, who occasionally does nice things, but usually for his own benefit. So he's out of this discussion.

I think Derek has shown the most remorse, and most changed behavior after learning from his mistakes. Accountability doesn't always have to be a verbal apology but an acceptance, or apology through actions. Derek, in my opinion, shows his apology by throwing himself into danger for you. He literally falls on the sword. And he's shown the most growth, or he wouldn't have evolved like he did.

Stiles, for me, isn't really a good guy type either. He's always been firmly on the morally gray side of things, so I expect his decisions to be questionable. Stiles is rarely wrong, it's just that not everybody thinks to actually listen to him. And when he does make a mistake or wrong you, he makes up for it by saving your ass.

I think that's the best kind of apology.

Am I wrong about Scott? Did he show his apology through changed behavior or some other action when I wasn't looking? Was he held accountable and learned his lessons?

Inquiring minds would like to know.

[eddito]

hello so when i sent that last message i had just seen the ep where they're in liverpool and they won at everton 😭😭 can't even talk about roy in that changing room man help me

so i'm still on season one bc life is cruel but i am sort of enjoying having to watch it slowly?? desperate to watch it all tho i am clawing the walls

(also just seen something you reblogged and it looks like jamies in a white hoodie??? pls tell me he's not it'll be over for me 😭😭)

ahdhdgsghshdgdhdfddh I’m sorry to say jamie IS in a white hoodie rip it’s been so nice knowing you

maaaaan the liverpool ep is heart wrenching

slow is good tbh!! I binged it quite fast so don’t remember a lot of detail from the first two seasons, I should go back for a rewatch 🤔🤔

[shurisneakers]

harmless (ix)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, sex jokes, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, anxiety

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: a lot of requests came in last week, so cool and thank you for sending them in!! i’ll try my best to write them if they weren’t originally what i had planned for this series bc they’re so cute kfjdghdf. also hey shoutout to @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ for suggesting the backstory thing! 

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Additional Scene   || Previous Part  || Series Masterlist

Hot single in your area! 😈  Find your solemate! 

Somehow it bypasses Bucky’s spam folder and is in his primary email. SHIELD tech is too advanced to let fake mails like this reach him and this doesn’t make sense. Unless it was one of the stupid dating websites he signed up for.

Leaving aside the obvious typo in the subject, he clicks on it, hoping it doesn’t unleash a virus onto his computer. 

He’s instead greeted with a poorly Photoshopped picture of you at a bar with a martini in your hand. He doesn’t have to look too hard to see that the martini is, in fact, an emoji. Off to a terrible start already. 

Right beside it is an even worse image, an imitation of an early Internet chat box.

Harbinger of Doom just sent you a message! 

Come to the empty lot near lair. Bring goggles. 😩💦

Decline/Accept

He wants to strangle you. 

______

“Why did you curse my eyes so early in the morning?” He spots you at the top of the lair, speaking loudly so that it hopefully reached you. 

“What?” you yell back down instead. “If you’re saying something, I can’t hear you.”

He rolls his eyes. He pulls his phone from his pocket and presses on your contact. 

He watches the look of confusion morph into one of slight surprise when you reach into your pocket and pull out your call.

“Don’t ever send an image like that to me again,” he says directly.

“If that one image is too much for you, how will we ever make our sex tape?”

His mouth opens and shuts like goddamn fish.

He can hear your laughter even without the phone.

“First of all- stop laughing- first of all, a sex tape is never going to happen. Second of all, I have a debriefing to go to, we need to make this quick.”

He holds up a finger when he sees you begin to say something. By the look of trouble painted all over your face, he knows it’s going to be a dumb innuendo. 

“Thirdly, why are you standing there?”

“I watched The Last Airbender,” you say once your cackling dies down.

“I like that show.” He did. Peter sometimes watched it when he came over and Bucky more often than not joined in.

“I know, you told me.”

Oh. 

“Okay, what now?” 

“Put your goggles on.” You take one step towards the ledge. 

“What are you doing?” The goggles don’t do anything to shield him from the sun, considering that they’re not tinted. Maybe he could invest in those.

You send him a smile, taking a step further. His walk towards the building turns into a jog, then a sprint when you’re basically standing on the edge.

You spread your arms out like Jesus Christ himself before flinging yourself off the building. His stomach drops.

His phone falls to the ground, discarded to the side as he sprints to break your landing. 

It never comes. 

Instead, a gust of wind smacks him in the face, forcing him a few steps backwards. 

“I am now an air bender.” your eyes shone. “Kind of.”

Just like that, the show was ruined.

He wipes the dust on from his glasses that he now understands why you made him wear. Considerate, for a person who nearly just gave him a heart attack. 

“Why.” It’s not even a question, just a statement. 

“You know how the Tower has a giant ‘A’ on the side?” 

He stares at you. 

“I‘m gonna spray paint ‘asshole’ on the side of it.”

Pepper would not like that. 

“That’s not even evil.”

“Yeah, but it’d annoy your super friends,” You do a flip midair, testing out the repulsors that were tied around your palms, “and I’m the voice of the people.”

You’re too high for him to reach. He doesn’t have his tools, or anything useful on him considering that he never had to use them before. He couldn’t even launch himself at you from the side of the building because you’d just move out of the way. He could jump really high but it would just have the same consequence.

He could talk and keep you distracted but that worked once, it wouldn’t again. At least not for long. 

Fuck, he really had only one option. 

He leaves you to do your somersaults and turns, walking over to where he dropped his phone. It’s an upgrade from the brick he was using a while ago, but not a high end Stark model. A smartphone, but barely.

He sighs, punching in the number and holding it up to his ear.

“Who are you calling?” you yell from above him. 

“Go back to your shitty aerobics,” he yells back.

You pause for a second. “Was that a fucking pun, James Bar-”

The dial tone ends when someone picks up. He diverts his attention back to the call.

“Hey man, I-

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish.”

“It’s probably something stupid,” Sam doesn’t even sound annoyed, just uninterested.

“I need your wings.”

“I was right. Bye.”

It was a long shot anyway.

“Fuckin’ hold on a second.” He sees you disintegrate a concrete block by having it drop from the air. “You come here and fix this, then. She’s air bending now.”

“...like Avatar?” Sam unsurprisingly got the reference. 

Peter’s interests were usually shared by everyone in the Tower, just because they had to compensate for the teasing he had to endure. It led to a lot of geeky documentaries and occasional musicals. Bucky wouldn’t be caught dead humming songs from Thoroughly Modern Millie under his breath. 

“Yeah.”

“You want me to come and fight your girlfriend,” he says slowly. 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Bucky urges, “and yes, I need help. Can’t exactly reach her when she’s twenty feet above me.”

“We have a briefing in 30 minutes. Why did you even go there today?”

He doesn’t know how to answer that. Just looks up at you smacking one of the repulsors against your thigh when it sputters for a second. It’s tradition. 

“Well?” Bucky ignores his question.

“Fine,” Sam’s voice is distant for a second as he agrees. “Clint’s asking if he can come too.”

“Fuck no.” One of them was more than enough and Sam was way better at negotiation. 

He hears a faint profanity from who he assumed was Clint before the call cuts.

He takes a seat on the ground and waits.

“You’re not going to make any effort to stop me?” You have your arms pressed to your side, palms pointed downwards to keep you afloat.

 “I could just throw things at you again.” He makes a mention towards the small pebbles.

“I will fuck you up if you even try,” you warn. He lifts his arms in surrender. “So that’s it. You’re just going to sit there.”

“To be honest, I couldn’t care less if you painted the building,” he says with the least amount of interest he could muster, not that that was very hard.

“Do you not like your team?” 

“I do.” He isn’t lying. “But they’re little shits.”

“I can draw a couple of dicks on their window, no problem,” you say offhandedly.

He looks up at you through his fingers. “That won’t be required.”

Although it was appreciated. 

“Cool, so then I’m gonna go.” You make a mention of the utility belt on your waist. He looks at the many spray cans that decorate it. 

“What colour are you going with?” he interrupts quickly. Fuckin’ Sam. What was the point of wings if he couldn’t get here in 2 minutes?

“Red, probably.” You look down. “I got purple and white just in case.”

“Building’s dark, red is good.”

“You really don’t care, do you?” You lower yourself down to the ground, a few feet ahead of him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” For fucks’ sake, Sam. “You really don’t like superheroes, do you?”

“I don’t have anything against them.”

“Then why do you do this every week?”

This was wading into personal territory and he did not like it. 

“Well.” Your eyebrows knit together. “Because I want to. It’s fun.”

“No other reason?”

“Do I need to have another reason?” You push your palm downwards, sending you back up into the air. “Can’t I just be evil because I want to?”

“Sure,” he says. He’s heard worse reasons. “Why not?”

“Besides, if you think I don’t like superheroes then you should meet Jake.”

“Who’s Jake?” He hadn’t ever heard you mention him before because he’d remember if you had.

“My roommate.” 

“I didn’t see him when I came over.”

“That’s because we’re not conjoined at the hip.” It takes you a second to stabilise. “Besides, he grabbed the water while I got the bracelet but he refused to come say hi.”

Bucky looked down at his wrist. It was still there. He found himself fidgeting with it more often than not.

“He hates superheroes?”

“He has a valid reason.” Your eyes widen in worry when your head suddenly dips. 

“What is it?” He knows the height at which you’re at isn’t very dangerous but if need be, he’s close by. 

“Come find out.” Your eyes shone mischievously. “But yeah, no reason for me to be evil.”

“Not even a tragic backstory?” 

“None. But if you want it, I can give you one, Barnes.” You test the waters, seeing how long you can lie horizontally. “Can’t promise you’ll like it though.”

“Try me.” He has time to kill. He’s a good listener.

“Well, it all started with my family- a troop of gorillas.” You flip over to lie on your back. “They practically raised me, they did. Until my gorilla mother died and I was all but consumed by grief and-”

“Your mother was a gorilla?” He entertains the notion. 

“Or was it my father?” you ask thoughtfully. “I don’t know, I don’t remember. Anyway, I met a-”

“Just to clarify, none of this is real, right?” he interjects. 

You stare at him. He stares at you.

“Bucky, that’s the plot of Tarzan,” you say slowly, “or at least whatever I remember of it... which I’m beginning to realise isn’t much.”

“Just clarifying.” He leans back again.

“Anyway so then when my mother, the deer-”

“Gorilla.”

“Whatever. Was killed, I escaped to some place-”

“Where?”

“Somewhere. And I stayed with these seven men-”

“Why seven?” He actually remembers watching this movie with his sister when it came out. An early memory, a bit faded. He remembers how long he saved up for the ticket.

“Because character development. And then I realised the reason my life was so weird was because there was a rat controlling me by pulling on my hair-”

“What the fuc-”

“If you ask any more questions, I’m going to stop.”

Bucky blinks at you. “So that’s your backstory.” 

“Raw and uncut, baby.”

“Just to get this straight, your mother, the gorilla deer-”

“Witch.”

“Huh?”

“She was a witch who stole my hair.”

“Wha-”

He’s interrupted by the giant shadow cast by something that flies overhead. 

Fucking finally. 

He doesn’t even have to look up. Sam does a small glide to the ground, landing gracefully beside him.

Bucky finds you speechless but straightened up from your earlier posture.

“Buck,” Sam greets him.

“Sam,” he says in return, getting up from his place. 

A grin spreads across your face. “Mr. Sam Wilson. No way.”

“You’re Y/N, I’m assuming?” Sam offers, posture relaxed. He clearly wasn’t here to fight. 

“The one and only.” You tear your eyes away from Sam to glare at Bucky. “Barnes, if you had told me we were expecting guests, I would have dressed better.”

Bucky furrows his eyebrows in suspicion at you. You’d dress up for Sam. 

You dressed up like a suburban tourist dad for him. He was feeling the offence incoming. 

“Can’t count on him to be useful in any situation.” Alright, he did not call Sam just to have the both of you team up against him. 

“Normally I’d agree with you but he did just invite you here, so...” you trail off, looking at Sam expectantly. 

What the shit.

Sam smirks. Bucky switches rapidly back and forth between the both of you.

“I see why Buck keeps coming back every week.” It doesn’t take long for him to catch on, enlisting a feeling of triumph from you. 

“I can’t see why he doesn’t just stay at home everyday if this is the view.” You gesture to him.

This is not what Bucky wanted.

“Okay,” Bucky interrupts, “what is going on here?”

“Pure chemistry, I’d say.” You’re half tempted to bite your lip to seal the deal.

“I agree.” Sam just nods, completely and utterly serious. 

You think that you’ll give him a gift basket just for playing along despite meeting you for the first time at that moment. 

“Get a room.” Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Maybe we will.” You tap your finger against your lip in thought. “How do you feel about Indian food, Sam?”

“Very positively.” 

Bucky grits his teeth. “If you’re not planning to spray paint the Tower, can you just hand over the repulsers so we can go home for the day?”

You let out a small tsk in disapproval. “See what I have to deal with?”

“Can’t imagine how you do it every weekend,” Sam says dryly, not wasting a second in replying. 

“Hello?” Bucky waves his arm around. “She’s the villain here.”

“Your face is the villain here.” You tear your eyes away from Sam only to glare at him. “He won’t even wear a cape. Why am I the only one who brings their A-Game every week?”

“Sam just get the damn-”

“You should wear a cape, man.” Bucky’s absolutely sure that even Sam knows it’s a ridiculous idea.

“I’m not wearing a fuckin’ cape,” he grumbles. 

“What are your thoughts on swords, then?” Your finger finds a place under your chin in deep contemplation. “You’d look great with a sword.”

Bucky buries his face in his palms. “Sam, for the love of God.” 

“Okay, alright.” Sam finally gives in with a small chuckle. He runs a few steps to get a small head start before launching himself into the air, whizzing past your levitating figure. He does a neat little flip midair before matching your height.

Showoff.

“How difficult are you gonna make this, Wilson?” you ask, a smirk on your face.

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky exhales, looking at the both of you through his goggles. 

“What’s your play here?” Sam calls out loudly.

“Was gonna spray paint ‘asshole’ on the side of the Tower.”

“After the ‘A’?”

“After the ‘A’,” you confirm. 

“Now that’s too small,” Sam tutted. “You gotta think bigger. Paint the whole Tower.” 

“Sam!” Bucky looks horrified. 

“Hmm.” You look like you’re considering it. “Don’t have enough paint for that though.”

“You’re an evil genius, right?” Sam casts a small glance at Bucky. “At least that’s what he tells me.”

“You talk about me?” You grin at the disgruntled man on the ground. 

“I don’t,” he mutters, shaking his head. A lie.

“Yeah, so build something,” Sam points out. “Get some more paint. I’ll even tell you the best vantage points to spill it.”

“No, he won’t,” Bucky shouts from below. 

“He’s just cranky because he didn’t get his prune juice this morning, ignore him,” Sam dismisses him.

Prune juice? He was a young 100, not ancient. 

“What’s your favourite colour, Falcon?”

“I like red.”

As annoyed as Bucky is right now, he stores that away in his memory for later. He also knows Sam loves seafood and a good pair of shoes. 

“A couple of gallons of red paint it is, then.” You lower yourself to the ground, Sam slowly follows suit until he lands beside Bucky.

“You know we can’t let you go without taking those, right?” Bucky tilts his head towards your invention.

You narrow your eyes at him. He doesn’t budge.

“I’ll tell ya what,” Sam pipes in instead. “I’ll keep them until you finish getting the paint and once you’re done, we’ll make an evening out of vandalising the Tower.” 

Bucky may not enjoy his company all that much but he admires Sam’s diplomacy. Of course, you would never make it this easy while reasoning with him.

“That a promise, Mr. Wilson?” You raise your eyebrow at him questioningly but are already in the process of removing the things from your hand. 

“Wouldn’t ever lie to you, doll.” He holds up his hand in a mock swear.

You walk towards Bucky and him, rotating your wrists to get rid of the soreness. “Bold claim for a man who met me ten minutes ago.”

“Feels like it’s been longer.” He sends you a wink and you can’t stop the laugh the escapes from you finally. 

Bucky holds his hand out for the gadgets. You shrink away from him with a click of your tongue.

“Technically, he takes this round.” You send a nod towards Sam, dropping off the repulsors into his hand. “So he gets it.”

Bucky rolls his eyes.

“You gonna keep ‘em safe?” you ask Sam, this time a little more earnestly. 

“Guard it with my life,” he says seriously, pressing his lips together in a line to avoid smiling. 

“You’re both ridiculous,” Bucky cuts in.

“You’re going to be late.” Sam tucks the devices into his pocket safely. “You know how Steve gets when people walk in on his speeches. Do you even have a ride?”

“Got the motorcycle.” 

“See you there.” Sam nods. 

“Save me a place,” Bucky says to him.

“No.” He doesn’t even hesitate. “Y/N. It was a pleasure.”

“Still holding you to that evening, Sam.” You send him a smile.

“I’m countin’ on it.” He gives you a small three finger salute before taking off, leaving you staring after his retracting figure. 

When the dust settles, Bucky awkwardly clears his throat. “Right. So that was that.”

“Dude,” you let out an exhale. “he’s so hot.”

He murmurs something unintelligible. It vaguely sounds like a series of threats but mostly a list of complaints.

“Don’t you have a meeting to get to?” You turn your attention back to him.

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you going to be late?” You glance at the clock on your phone.

“I’ll just tell them I was on a mission.” Well, sort of. “Besides, what are they gonna do? Kick me out?”

“Fair enough.” You shrug. “Have a safe ride back.”

From what he knows of you and Sam, the both of you were kidding around. But he could never be too sure. He can’t even ask if you were serious about the entire thing because it’s none of his business. 

Were the implications of having his mortal nemesis and other mortal nemesis date important enough to overrule that? 

“Are you planning to skip your meeting, or?” you ask when he remains freezes in his spot, eyes glazed over like he’s thinking about something. “Because if you are, I know this great Thai place-”

“Don’t do that again,” he says instead, shaking his head to jolt him out of his thoughts. 

“What?”

“Flinging yourself off roofs like that.”

“Why?” Because it scared the hell out of him, for one.

“Just don’t.”

“Oh please, like you’ve never done dangerous shit like that before.” You narrow your eyes at him, reading his face. “Are you telling me you care about me?”

“No.” His nose twitches. “Just don’t throw yourself off buildings when I’m around.”

“What about when you’re not?”

“As long as I’m not there to witness it.” He shrugs, spinning on his heel to leave. Technically he preferred if you didn’t do things like that at all. 

“Fine. I’ll just have my clone try out all the dangerous stuff for me.”

 He stops in his tracks. “You have a clone?”

“Well,” You squint, “no. But I’m working on it.”

He scoffs, shaking his head. “Bye Y/N.”

“You know, it sounds an awful lot like you’re saying we’re friends.” Your whole demeanour changes and he already knows what’s coming.

“I never said that,” he argues vehemently. “All I said was that I can’t have your murder on my hands.”

“Thus implying that we’re friends. In a fucked up, enemies kind of way.” You positively beam at him. “Aw, Barnes, that’s adorable.”

Adorable? Adorable?

“I hate you.”

“I love you, too, bestie,” you gush, dumb grin on your face. “I’ll make us friendship rings next time. What are your thoughts on matching tattoos?”

He wants to cry. 

______

By the time Sam walks into the meeting room, the session’s already begun. He shoots an apologetic look to a monologuing Steve before taking his place at the nearest chair available. 

Something sharp pokes his thigh. His wings are off and in the backpack beside him, but then he remembers your little inventions that were still in his pocket.

He tries not to make much of a noise while he pulls them out, giving them a look over to make sure they’re not broken.

“Watcha got there, Big Bird?” Tony asks lowly from beside him.

“Something that Barnes’ enemy made.” Sam holds it up slightly. 

“The one he’s been rendezvousing around town with every weekend?” 

“That’s her.” He’s about to put it in his backpack when Tony stops him.

“Pass that here for a second.” He recognises it immediately for what it is, interest piqued. 

Sam hands one of them over while he puts the other back in the bag. It’s a metallic circle, not bigger than Tony’s palm, with a thick leather strap to tie it around your palm.

“She made this?” 

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sam mentions towards Bucky who silently slips into the conference room, standing in the corner near the potted plant since there were no more chairs left.

“The balance has gotta be off on this thing,” he mutters to himself, wholly ignoring the brooding man standing in the corner like a Christmas tree.

“She seemed to be manoeuvring it fine,” Sam catches the eye of a lower ranking agent who makes the mistake of glaring at him for talking while the meeting was going on. A few seconds later the agent hastily looks away and doesn’t turn around for the rest of the hour. 

“Could be better.” He uses a much more intricate model for his suits, although this isn’t even half-bad for a homemade version. “Do you know how long she took to make this?”

“Buck says she comes up with a new one every week, so I’m guessing that long.” 

It had a few glitches but it was incredibly refined for a week’s worth of work.

“Interesting.” He gives it a quick overlook before handing it back to Sam who drops it into the bag.

He casts a swift glance at Bucky, noting how he wasn’t even paying attention to the meeting but rather to whatever he had tied around his metal wrist, fidgeting with it with his thumb. 

Tony has an idea. 

And that was generally bad news.

Next part

[miss-celestial-being]

𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗

➾ 𝖒𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖔:

name — bee (moots can call me belle)

age — 16 (surprising, right?)

pronouns — she/they (tho you can call me whatever you like)

sexual orientation — i..... idfk anymore

country — please kill me

time zone — pacific standard time (pst california)

➾ 𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊:

white, natural wavy/curly brunette (tho i dye my hair every now and then)

aesthetic is all over the place but i tend to stick with boxy graphic/band tees or really big sweatshirts, mostly muted colors with a small pop of bright color

plus sized, tall, faint freckles and moles, lots of acne bc ✨teenager✨, a bunch of stretch marks and cellulite

➾ 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞:

hogwarts house — slytherin (tho i got ravenclaw once)

three big signs — gemini sun, sagittarius moon, libra rising

personality type — istp-t

➾ 𝖒𝖞 𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌:

i dont have any separate blog for shitposts and rants or interaction with friends so expect that all here. i like to think i'm a pretty friendly person (at least online) so feel free to talk to me anytime!

i write for many fandoms, including, harry potter, stranger things, the 100, and bridgerton. expect more to be added as i get invested in more and more shows and movies.

original ideas are hard, i get that completely. and sometimes you don't remember exactly where you got the idea from, which is completely fine. i do not expect any credit to be given if i inspire your writing, that's just part of the process. as long as you're not blatantly stealing anything, we don't have any problems.

if you would like to translate my work or post it somewhere else, please message me. i'm pretty chill so don't feel threatened or anything. if you find my work good or interesting and would like it to reach others, just make sure to get my WRITTEN permission and CREDIT ME!! if you don't, you will be reported and blocked. i may be chill but i DO NOT tolerate plagiarism, it is ILLEGAL!!

if you have any complaints or concerns, please feel free to message me or send me an ask as long as you're not rude about it. i'm always looking for ways i can improve, whether that be in my writing or as a person. i love getting feedback, it really helps me learn and grow

i will never be one of those blogs that block people if they spam like bc i understand that there are blogs that don't wanna have any posts on their blog or they're ashamed they're reading fanfiction or it just doesn't match what they talk about on their blog. and i do appreciate likes because it shows me what y'all like and if i should continue making something or writing about a certain character. i also appreciate the few reblogs i do get because it really helps with the algorithm, so thank you <3

➾ 𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒/𝖋𝖚𝖓 𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖘:

i hate the feeling of velvet and felt, i feel physically sick when touching it. its basically like nails on a chalkboard.

i have a cat named oreo, who i am convinced is a velociraptor in disguise (velociraptors can open doors, that's why). She likes to open my door with her mind powers and/or knock on it and scream at me till i open it.

i love frogs and rats so so much, i really want them as pets (which is kinda hard with a cat so im probably gonna get them when i move out).

i have an "irrational" fear of spiders. every time i see one i either scream for someone to kill it, hyperventilate, or cry. my mom gets pissed at me for asking her to kill them

i've been biting my nails since before i even had a developed memory. my therapist thinks its from past anxiety that's become a habit.

i have a depression, anxiety, and adhd

i have issues with confrontation, most likely caused by ptsd (according to my therapist). i usually cry when someone yells at me or looks like they're gonna hit me (unless i started the fight and it's with someone that's either younger than me or shorter than me)

i have a tendency to focus on my insecurities for too long and begin to think i'm unloveable, which is no one's fault, i'm just a dumbass.

i love every single one of you to the moon and back, nothing will change my mind.

[wanderingspacepirate]

I posted 7,081 times in 2022

That's 691 more posts than 2021!

76 posts created (1%)

7,005 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tiefling-queer

@questbedhead

@hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon

@flightyfox

@zukkas

I tagged 3,936 of my posts in 2022

Only 44% of my posts had no tags

#cr - 923 posts

#cr3 - 428 posts

#art - 401 posts

#cr spoilers - 356 posts

#video - 257 posts

#cr2 - 252 posts

#m9 reunited - 161 posts

#save - 142 posts

#atla - 126 posts

#comic - 118 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i try rlly hard to remember to comment even if it’s something simple like ‘thank you for writing! <3’ or ‘thank you for creating this story!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

“you solve the mystery of who your children were”

10 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

#4

rewatching Elementary (TV) and like! in awe of the messages they send about morality! obviously the show has copaganda, and a major aspect of the show is “breaking the law here means we get the right guy in prison” which is… *gestures* not the greatest thing to say. but what is also present is Holmes’ and Watson’s morality and insistence on doing good, while also acknowledging that the world is not black and white but also shades of gray. S2E10 has a short clip about this topic at around 26 minutes in. Part of S2E10 mentions that it is good that a mentally ill person is not wrongly imprisoned even after he has been framed in a way that really makes him look guilty. there is also discussion of addiction and obsession in Elementary, and neither is demonized! the misogyny in Elementary is very much present, and there’s not really anything to excuse it - but i do enjoy this show quite a lot, and being able to rewatch it and think about police and the institution of police more critically means i get more out of the show, i think.

this isn’t a coherent post at all. but being able to watch this show again with the knowledge i have now is super interesting. also Elementary as a TV show is LEAGUES BETTER than Sherlock.

15 notes - Posted September 20, 2022

#3

stealing from each other is their love language

16 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#2

thought about the protector of the small and beka cooper series and was like. maybe i’ll read fic this time bc i have reread both those series a lot? but then was like. no actually i like the canon stuff too much.

26 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

talked to someone cosplaying as Jonny D’Ville at QueerCon today and i am SO HAPPY and FULL OF JOY that i met a fellow mechanisms fan irl today

113 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[butterscotch-brigade]

hey maybe you should delete that one gender animal post. associating animals with gender is generally exclusive to indigenous peoples... as a white person it doesn't look too good.

i think i know who you are since i saw some tags on that post from a white person, which was then reblogged by another white person.

ive done research on indigenous gender identities, particularly two-spirit, and the only source ive been able to find on its relation to animals was the gender fandom wiki (which does not have a source, as well as the article on two-spirit people being incredibly short). everything else ive read makes no mention of two-spirit people being related to animals, nor spirit/totem animals being related to gender.

i made the post bc i noticed a lot of trans ppl in general like to call themselves stuff like "catgirls/dogboys/mousegirls/ratboys" etc and thought it was interesting how many ppl in the community relate an animal to their gender. and while im pretty sure there is a difference between a trans person calling themself a catboy and indigenous peoples animal related practices, i am white, so i may be entirely wrong.

seeing as you admit to being white, i honestly think as another white person that this kind of comes off as white saviorism. im white too, so its neither of our places to speak on indigenous issues and act like we know definitively what is and isnt culturally insensitive. if any indigenous people do have issues with the post, then i will certainly delete it. but if you are white, i recommend not speaking on behalf of indigenous people unless they have given you permission or you are passing on a message. non-indigenous people cannot claim to be fully educated on indigenous culture; that includes you and me.

thank you for reaching out to me about this but i would honestly appreciate feedback more from actual indigenous people.

[kyidyl]

anon pretending to care about trans people meanwhile theyre a whorephobe and sending rape threats like newsflash asshole! trans people want you dead specifically! also wtf r they on youre litterally pro trans??

I mean...I'm of the opinion that if someone feels an appropriate thing to do is to send a stranger messages like that (and I only replied to one, but they sent two.), then they're the one with the issue, not me. Like I literally can't fathom doing that. So I mean...I'm not really bothered by it much bc I'm just too gd old to give a shit about some anon insulting me when I know that their willingness to do that says far more about them than me.

And, yes, I AM pro-trans. TERFs and Radfems aren't welcome here. And I've only become moreso as I've learned and grown. There definitely was a point where I was more neutral. Like, yeah, they should be able to live their best lives but there's no need for me to open my mouth, etc. Buuuut...I've interacted with transphobes since then and changed my mind. Transphobes are just like a special level of stupid and mean. And like I can't stop them from following me if I don't know who they are, but like they're very much not welcome here.

What the anon is referring to is a post I reblogged like a week or so ago that was talking about how the preservation of the institution of white motherhood harmed Trans ppl. I added a bit about how bc I'm not desirable as a White Mother (TM) bc I'm fat and child free, this wasn't a white privilege that I had (not that I had none - that I didn't have that specific one.), and that it actively harms women like me who also have low value to white supremist patriarchy as white mothers. I said I hadn't realized it was something that applied to Trans people, but that I'm glad it's something we had in common. Buuuuut...bc ppl on tumblr can be a bit dense sometimes, a couple ppl (or one...idk.) got stuck on the bit where I said "this privilege doesn't apply to me", ignored the nuance, and ignored the part where I was obviously being very specific. It's tumblr, it happens. 🤷‍♀️ I mean I could turn anon off, but I've gotten far more good or neutral anon messages over the years than bad ones, so I leave it on.

[malinaagenda]

hey!! holy shit i had no idea what bidarkling said about archie!! jesus fucking christ that's disgusting. thank you for reblogging. she's problematic on the best of days--but that was outright disgusting. also--i'm wondering if there are any malina networks/safe spaces to hangout? i really like them, but I'm afraid to come out to my followers as an Archie/Mal Stan. I hope this is ok to come to you with! I love your jace and clary blog too. <3333

I’m not on twitter so thankfully I didn’t have to deal with that but just seeing the screenshots and hearing about it spikes my anxiety through the roof. Like between this and the darklina’s thinking that in this day and age, especially with what’s going on with the hate towards asians right now, that because they don’t like a SHIP, they can not only be racist and bully the actors and their children. But they can call the ship MALARIA, like. I wish I was joking it is downright vulgar.

And honestly not one darklina can be like oh that’s just a small part of the fandom you can’t tar us all with that brush because like. Where are all the posts condemning this person and others? Where’s all the “no you don’t get to make up racist ship names” posts? I’ve seen people I respected LIKE THE DAMN TWEETS, by bidarkling, or like posts attacking people standing up to them. 

I’ve seen people argue in a discord server, by invading the malina channel, that they have a right to do all this gross stuff to Archie because he’s not dark skinned enough. Archie Renaux is Desi. Y’all don’t get to be fucking racist shitbags, or excuse racism and laugh at it and like posts or tweets, and then act like not all Darklina’s are the same when I have seen literally NOT ONE, especially not one of the big ones, say shit against the stuff done to Archie. About the Malaria name etc. I’ve seen them like the posts and tweets tho!!!!  The only person i’ve seen mention anything is a multishipper. Like.

We didn’t tar y’all. Y’all literally did that TO YOURSELVES. With outing how racist y’all are.

Not on the topic of Archie though. The LENGTHS some of those shippers will go to to woobify and be all uwu aleks my babyyy. Like the next person who even breathes that Genya deserved to be sexually assualted and the darkling shouldn’t be held accountable for that OR the other thing he does. I will fight. I don’t care, y’all can fuck off invalidating abuse survivors because you like the white guy playing him. I haven’t even been here lately because recovering, and I really come back to a message I am not posting glorifying what happened to her. This is the lengths y’all go to? THIS IS YOUR GOD HUH? THIS IS THE HILL YOU ALL WILL DIE ON? RACISM AND ABUSE APOLOGISM? Staying quiet and ignoring it is the same as encouraging it! But y’all know that lbr.

I swear to god I’ll never be able to enjoy ben barnes ever again. 

Also to answer your question finally I got so sidetracked because this is the only ask imma answer bc they’re all in the same vein, but also to be like I’m the wrong person to ask because like. I’m of the opinion that if people give you shit over actors or characters you like. They’re assholes. They’re not your friends or even good people. Drop their asses. Like characters and people you like are so personal to you. And honestly? especially with all of this. Weed them out. Post about what you love and block anyone who tries to fuck with you over it. 

I’m tired of people being like oh i like mal/archie but i would never say it in front of my followers~ like bruh. MY DUDE.

For people to follow though I do have suggestions!!! I’m also sure that there’s discords out there for malina/mal fans!

@malinasource ofc bc the source blog

@malyen0retsev @alinamal @alinastarksov @jessiemeili @thetracker

also anyone in this post here and the comments/tags oh this one too 

I know I’m missing so many people i should be including rn but sick brain tired. But feel free to go through my blog for people i’ve interacted with or rb edits from (im so behind on my tracked tag too but sick) and you should find lots of lovely people to interact with!!!

Also ty!!!! That’s like my main otp of otp’s so every time it gets complimented i’m just seal clapping Good luck in your hunt for mal/archie friends! and I’m here if you need anything/wanna chat too!

[jovalencia]

we all knew this was coming and I’m a sentimental bitch. I just wanted to write all my mutuals some little messages about how much I love you. you guys have changed my life and I am so grateful for each and every one of you!!!💕💞💓💗💖💘 anygays have fun searching for yourself in this mess and I’m sorry for any typos, I’m illiterate (and if i forgot you it’s because i lost my brain in 1912)

@cr1spyy fernanda, my first ever mutual. who would have thought that your 5th wave posts would have brought one of the most amazing people in my life to me. your posts always make me laugh and your dedication to the good morning asks is admirable (fr I could never have that much consistency) you’re so kind to everybody and you’re absolutely beautiful and incredible and I fucking love you so much. I honestly don’t even want to think about what my life would be like if I had never met you, MWAH💕🤍

@sundaymorninghangover I remember you being my first ever note!! you liked this post I made that was a reblog of a “uquiz” that was actually a rickroll lmao. you didn’t even follow me back then but whatever. Then I remember waking up one day to see that you had tagged me in a bingo ask game and I was like “ummm tf is an ask game” but I do still have a bingo card for it that I never used ekenksjs. anygays, you have good opinions on everything and you’re absolutely fucking hilarious. If you told me back in may that I would be friends with you I wouldn’t believe it bc you intimidated me but regardless I’m glad to be an arson gang member with you. your memes are god tier and so is your music taste. I love you whore!!!!!🖤💜

@sound-and-colors ma’am you’re so nice and for what??? the aesthetic stuff that you reblog is *chef’s kiss* and nobody else is out there doing it like you. we’ve never talked but I just know that you are absolutely incredible mwah❤️💛

@embeddedinmybrain tasfia you are the nicest person on his hellsite and you know it (I hope). It was so much fun being your secret admirer anon while it lasted, like fr I loved it. Your art is beautiful just like your heart and i honestly don’t know what I did to deserve such a kind soul like you in my life. You’re always there to hype me up and ily (also just cut your own hair already I believe in you)🤍💙

@gumptin you hooked me with your suus icon and reeled me in by being the coolest and funniest person ever. your posts are consistently hilarious, accurate, or relatable and I admire that. I mean it when I say you’re one of the coolest people on here. idk what I did to have you think I’m cool but I’m honored nonetheless. also you have really awesome style and hair jdnjdjdjd mwah💚💛

@nori-in-pink first and foremost, your blog always has a very nice aesthetic and I feel like I need to acknowledge that. anyway, you are so kind and supportive and you don’t take any bullshit and that is absolutely amazing. you are absolutely iconic and always reblog the best stuff so I know I can count on your blog to be fantastic. you used to scare me (idk why don’t ask) but now I know that you’re just a big teddy bear ily💗💜

@matteohnora my slurpee queen and my mememate!! you always send me the funniest shit and it doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re always there for me with a silly meme or emotional support and I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful I am for that. whenever you stalk my blog it makes my heart go whooosh and I feel so special. Ily and I am so glad to have met you💜❤️

@lieverobbe ah yes, the girl with the impeccable music taste. that’s what I know you as, oh well. you are more talented and kind than you could ever believe and your edits are amazing!!! whenever I see you on my dash I get all happy bc I’m like “em’s here!!!” I love all your lil posts and I am so glad that you are my mutual ilyyyyy💙🤍

@ironymane you’ve watched limitless which automatically makes you amazing. you’re an absolutely incredible and amazing person and even tho you aren’t on here as much anymore, I still love youre lil posts. And one time you kept me entertained on a 6hr car ride so you deserve some kind of award for that. ly🧡💛

@kingarthurpendragons okay the obvious thing to talk about here is your incredible talent when it comes to gif making. Like how in the hell- but you are also so kind and loving and it doesn’t go unnoticed. You don’t have to send nice asks but you do and ily for it mwah!!❤️💗

@engelkeijsers the skam nl stan that we all deserve to have in our lives. you are so fucking hilarious and relatable and all around amazing and for what? your posts always put a smile on my face and it is so much fun to clown with you. ilyyyy💚💛

@happiness-isin-you let’s ignore the fact that it took me forever to realize that this was your main lmao. your art is some of the most beautiful shit I’ve ever seen. like your style is so cool????  I could literally go on about this for hours don’t test me. the cute animal pictures are the absolute best and you’re always there for emotional support. Ilyyyyyyy💛❤️

@isakyaqi fiz you are so kind and talented and cool and I really do mean all that. You reblog always the best of content so I know I can trust it. you always put nice tags in the things you reblog things and it’s fun to read what you write because it’s almost always you hyping up the creator or the thing itself. you are awesome jdjdjdndjjd mwah🖤🤎

@cash-queens sam oh sam. Idek where to start with how much ily. You’re my famous mutual which is very iconic of you and you put up with my cat pictures and my silly antics and my riverdale posts. You’re so kind to me and everybody and whenever I make a post when I’m having a mental breakdown you’re always there to make sure that I’m doing okay. That def doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re legitimately one of the kindest and most amazing people I’ve ever known and I love you so much, more than you could ever know💛🤍

@welcometo-saturn çağrı you’re so cool. end of statement. that’s all I have to say about it. your gifs are so beautiful and you don’t take shit from anybody. you’re so down to earth that it makes it seem like you’re somebody who I’ve just always known (even tho we’ve never talked sjdjdjdjdj) so yeah anyway, you’re are a really awesome person with really good opinions and I am so glad that we are mutuals🧡❤️

@amifeelingokay it’s difficult not to start with your url bc it’s amazing and I love it. your skam posts are always so nice and cute and positive (just like you!!) and I love them. the content you reblog is always aesthetic or a nice text post and I just love your blog okay. ily💜🖤

@isthatelpome you’re so nice that I’m willing to overlook your opinion on salt and vinegar chips (they’re not good I’ll fight you on that) your dani icon is beautiful just as you are, mwahhhh🧡❤️

@earthling-isa babe you are so cute with your lil edits and your clowning. the near constant black and white aesthetic is very iconic and i love it. you’re a suus stan so I have no choice but to love you for it. i absolutely adore your gifs, especially the ones with the lil squares in the middle fygzbgut. you are absolutely beautiful and incredible and kind and I love you MWAHHHH🖤💙

@grey-mist-exist okay we’ve never talked but you seem like such a rad person. not cool but like rad (there are are subtle differences) your art is beautiful even tho idk the quotes (go off smarty pants) and overall you are just really rad, idk how else to say it mwah!!!🤍🖤<pretend it’s a grey heart

@fatoudixon hey look it’s one of the most talented people here!!! You’ve always been so kind and supportive of me and I really really do appreciate it. you have good opinions on everything and did I mention that you’re talented?? cause you are, very. Your reaction videos are amazing and not to mention iconic, just like your hair. anyway, ily and I am so glad that I have somebody as amazing as you as my mutual💙💛

@sander-klaas you are so kind and and you have so much passion. I can always trust you reblog only the best of wtfock and sobbe content which I am very grateful for. you literally just started making gifs and they are so beautiful (okay it was like months ago but whatever dkdjdjjdjdj) anyway, thank you so much for being my mutual mwah❤️💛

@jusdekiwi okay we’ve never talked but you genuinely seem like such a sweet person??? I love the stuff you reblog, it’s always the best gif sets. idk I can just tell you have good taste. I hope to get to know you better in the future, but for now I am very grateful to have you💚💙

@kritiquer my twin!!! you and I have a lot in common so ofc I love you. I’m joking obviously.... anygays you are always so supportive of everybody and you are so sweet. I love all of your personal posts, it always makes me really happy to see what you’re up to and how you’re feeling. I also like the aesthetic stuff you reblog, I have bad taste in all that, clearly you don’t. I am so glad that we started talking and I hope that we continue! ily kit!!!!💜🤍

@bleachblondebitches you aren’t on here that much, but whenever you are I get so happy! Your gifs are beautiful and I think about your sobbe and booksmart parallels gifset every day. you have amazing taste in movies and I love you!💜💙

@lesbeanfatou clara!!! bitch!!!! You already know how much I love you but I guess I’ll reiterate. I honestly don’t know what I did before I knew you. I always remember looking at the no idea blog with the Nora icons like “who is this?” Little did I know back then that you would be one of my closest friends. your support of me means the world and I am so grateful for you. I’m so glad that I have somebody in my life like you to talk to and be friends with. you are one of the funniest people in and I just love you so much I could burst mwah❤️🧡

@gucciboner okay hiii ypu are literally so fucking kind and funny, i admire your sense of humor sm. your art is so beautiful and you are so goddamn talented, it never ceases to amaze me. I also love all the little funny posts you make and reblog!! ily💙💗

@helmtaryn even though you put supernatural on my dash, I am willing to forgive you bc I love you so much. your gifs are so beautiful like ma’am didn’t you just start?? icon shit. your hate for photoshop is iconic and you are awesome. you’re always sending me asks and responding to my posts and you’re so nice and it makes my heart go whooosh. anygays you’re cool and ily💙🧡

@starmansander nina when I tell you that you give off the best vibes- okay sorry I had to start with that. I love how you are so nice and supportive of me, it really means a lot. I really like the stuff you reblog like,,, cool art? pretty women? those hopeful little posts? iconic. also youre a noor stan which is a sign of good taste. love you🤎❤️

@ijzermanora daniiiiiii madam you are so epic and iconic and I really could go on about that forever. you are so kind and you’re following all my joke sideblogs (even the ch*cken l*ttle hate blog??? why???) which is very brave of you. I love reading all of your lil wholesome posts and hearing about school and how much you hate chemistry (even tho you like sushi???) anygays we were already sending memes 10 hours into our mutualship so I think we were soulmates from the very beginning. I love you so much and I have no idea what I did before i knew you💜💗

@alwaysin-myhead okay, you give off cool person vibes and I had to acknowledge that. your art is so beautiful and you are so incredibly talented!!! I hope to get to know you in the future🧡💛

@alexiaugustin here she is!!! the queen of good opinions!!! you are such a smart cookie and you use that power to make long paragraph posts that I can actually read without falling asleep. which is impressive honestly. never has a person been so kind and funny and genius in such a well rounded way (that makes no sense) I’m so happy that I have you in my life ilyyy💚💗

@ijntba hihi you’re such a sweet person and I literally love your skam blog sm. I am so honored that you’re using one of my icons you have no idea. even though I’m confused when you post about anime, I still appreciate your passion lmao. mwah💛🧡

@hidden-joy liz!! you are such a kind soul and I absolutely love looking at the things you reblog and reading all the nice things that you put in the tags, it’s always so sweet and supportive!!! we’re relatively new mutuals, but I do hope to get to know you better in the future!!!💚💛

okay sorry to group y’all together but @fudgetunblr and @alexiswoke I like just became mutuals with y’all but I do love you and I’m glad you’re here and I hope 2021 treats you well and that i get to know you better!!❤️❤️

aaand one last final message for max and sarah, i know yall wont see this but ily🧡 💜

okay yeah I know I already said this but I really do love each and every one of you so much and I am so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life💕💕💓💕💖💖💕💘💕💗💞💓💕💖💖💘💕💓

[fatehbaz]

I don't really understand why the incorrect caption meme is funny. I come from a place with lots of visually impaired and deaf people who use aids like readers and transcripts and this meme just doesn't make sense to me. In a time where we're trying to be more accessible and inclusive by normalizing captions for people who need them, this meme is made? Is it funny bc they're inside jokes that disabled people can't understand/can't be in on? Idgi :/

Are you referring to the “fieriframes” gifs? If so: I am completely with you. I don’t think it’s in any way cute or funny to mess around with captions for the sake of a joke in a way that ostracizes deaf or visually impaired people. I also whole-heartedly care about including written/text captions for visually-impaired people, and I think including captions is especially pertinent online in spaces where we try to share a lot of info/resources for each other (informative stuff; donation posts; lists of sources; etc.).

And I also think the inclusion of captions is just as important in “less-serious” contexts, specifically in online spaces where socialization includes a lot of humor (like, say, this site, where the in-jokes and screwing around play a big part in socializing), because being left out of the joke (which might seem to some to be a “minor” thing) excludes people who can’t participate because of the amount of visual humor. So I also agree with you, that normalizing captions is serious business with real consequences for quality of life and allowing deaf/visually-impaired to participate in jokes, disk horse, exchange, education, etc.

I want to say that I have been under the impression that the joke/humor in fierframes’ gifs is not about inaccurate captions per se, but is about the juxtaposition between the carefree whimsy of Fieri goofing around with fun foods contrasted to the dire dreadful unsettling captions drawn from horror stories, etc. Or that’s how I interpret them, at least. Like, as if to say: We’re living in hell being strangled by tentacles of a cruel imperial world-system, but turn on the TV and here’s Fieri moaning in ecstasy while eating mac-and-cheese. I may be wrong, but my interpretation had been that the jokes were less about “look, we applied the wrong caption” and more about “worlds are ending and apocalypse has become a generalized planetary condition, and this late-90s-aesthetic guy is high-fiving his bros in a convertible in the glistening California sunlight on the way to get some mozzarella sticks; what strange lives we live.”

I do seriously try to consider how everything I reblog will affect anyone, each one of my friends, who will see it. Does this “big-brain” wojak caricature basically invoke the r-word slur? Is the OP a transmisogynist? Is this a good meme, or is it just a white suprem@c!st cartoon with new captions? Is the cat video actually funny, or is the cat actually in distress? Was this 18th-century Japanese landscape artist a supporter of imperial expansion in the Pacific? Was this early-20th-century Eastern European landscape artist an ethn0nationalist? Is this actually a neat photo of a frog, or did the photographer harass and then unnaturally position the exhausted and dehydrated frog on top of the mushroom for a photo-op? Is this a feel-good story about environmental justice, or is this actually a story in V!ce magazine about a Bay Area start-up making money off of “green capitalism”, gentrification, and a wealthy eco-retreat?  Do I really want to link to a major media institution article to give those conglomerates any more attention or site traffic? I like this goth fashion, but did the pictured model say racist shit on tw!tter? Is this a cool aesthetic post of decaying architecture, or are we actually gawking at ruin p0rn without consider the pain endured by people still living there? Is the glorification of the idyllic English university campus "cool” to people who aren’t wealthy and white and can’t access those schools; from where did British universities steal their wealth during the era of overt colonialism? Is this video of a dog actually cool, or are we actually seeing animal abuse/neglect? In what context was the video taken? Who was harmed when this photo was taken? Is this text post actually funny, or is it really just appropriating AAVE? And if I missed the mark in sharing those captioned gifs, then I’m sorry.

And thank you. I think it’s good and compassionate of you to care, and to have cared enough to send me this message. Glad you did.

[wellbafineline]

could you write some Harry fluff about Harry comforting the reader after she struggles with body insecurity?

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A/N - I hope i did this justice, i tried not to dive too deep into body image as ik it can be triggering for some ppl, and i also didn't want to get it completely wrong bc i know one person's experience / feelings aren't universal, so this is more along the lines of the press body shaming the reader and h comforting her, hope this is still okay tho!! tysm for the request!

And a side note, thank you so much for kind words, likes and reblogs on my first piece of writing, it means a lot !!<3

side , side note this is not proofread so i apologise for the extra long sentences or if some things are a bit roughly worded lol.

You were aware of Harry's exes, you couldn't really not be they were some of the world's biggest supermodels, it's just you wish you could, you were just going to read the one article that your best friend had sent to you about you and harry when you went out to dinner. the original purpose of her sending it was to say how hot you looked, it was when harry had taken you out for your 6 month anniversary dinner, but a couple of sly facebook comments and the suggested stories tab had made for good tools to help your spiral. 

It wasn't explicitly written neither in the articles or comments, but the message was clear.

‘Out of everyone he could get why would he choose ,,, her’

Or ‘do you think this was a pity date, no way she's actually his girlfriend’, and a multitude of a lot more upfront comments about how you're not harrys ‘usual type’ so there's not a chance you're actually together.

You knew that you were by no means a supermodel, but you’d never felt this unattractive, or at least not for a while. Of course it's an insecurity, Harry could get any person he wanted but he chose you, and you don't like to dwell on the why for too long, but now it was eating you up.

Looking them up, you were different in every way to Harry's previous relationships, it made sense that the media would compare you, but did he?

Your thought was interrupted by the thump of Harry's shoes and bag hitting the hallway floor.

‘Babe, you here? Got takeaway on the way home, save us cooking, the chinese you wanted to try.’ he called out to you making his way to the kitchen.

You sighed and got up to follow him, meeting him at the island where he's now plating the food and giving him a peck on the cheek.

Harry turns to you looking for a moment before you meet his eyes, ‘y’alright?, normally nearly jump me when i'm home early and bring food’ 

Moving to sit on the counter, opposed to leaning against it with Harry looking down at you. You debate not telling him, just saying unis stressful and you've got an assignment due on monday, and dealing with it by yourself, having a cry when you get back to your flat and it'd be done with, he'd never have to know it bothers you. Only he knows there's no assignment and he also knows you pretty well to see through the white lies. 

Harry moves rubbing up and down your thigh as you begin to tell him,

‘‘Just saw some stuff online, got sent some of the pictures of us out to dinner last week and they came with some lovely comments about me, and you and us, and why you'd choose me’ you can feel yourself rambling at this point but you can't help it the jar was open now, ‘how, you could really have anyone in the world you wanted, which you could y’know, you're harry styles and apparently, according to most of the internet im not worthy, and i know i'm not a supermodel so you don't have to feel bad and tell me i am i just need to get it out of my system so im not stressing all week about everything’

Harry, who looks clearly shocked by your sudden explosion and also like he's about to cry at the same time, suddenly crushes you into a tight hug.

‘Y’know i dont give a shit what them gossip rags say about us don't you? That even if what you said is true and I could have anyone, I'd still want you.’ He’s moved back slightly, now looking at you so intensely with utter determination to expel these thoughts from your head. You nod weakly as he carries on ‘there's a reason that they’re exes, you're who i want, and don't know about you but this is the best relationship i've had, so who gives a fuck what people on facebook or whatever say.’ 

He helps you down for another bone crushing hug, until he hears you breathing start to even out and pulls back to smile at you, which you return, his fingers moving to your cheeks to make you smile comically big.

‘There she is! That's what i like to see!, now Chinese?’

You just nod and let him lead you into the living room with your plates ready to spend all weekend with each other and to never read another tabloid again.