#i am weeping crying screaming throwing up

[scribesofcalamity]

RIP Scribes, cause of death below:

I hope you all thought of me and knew that I was immediately deceased 💙Remember me well friends.

[jrueships]

WHOEVER THE FUCK IS RECOMMENDING MED PPL TO GO INTO RADIOLOGY JUST CUS IF THE MONEY, IM GONNA FUCKING gET YOU

[cainite-bite]

pros of drawing my ocs: OC tiem

cons of drawing my ocs: drawing

[scrollinonhere]

Read Experiment 21 and what the fuck.

[cntloup]

Queen!Reader x Knight!Ghost

Part 1 | Part 2

"Where's Simon?" you mumble hazily as soon as you wake up.

"He’s in the war room, attending to his duties, your grace. He left so you could get some rest." your maid answers.

You open your mouth to say that you wish to see him, but close it on second thought.

You've been sleeping most of the time since your miscarriage a few days ago and when you're awake, you only wail and sob.

The thought prevents you from calling to him. You don't want to trouble him any further.

He's grieving as well, and you can't even look him in the eyes. The guilt and shame is too much for you to bear.

You've also been experiencing an immense pain in your lower abdomen which comes and goes, some light bleeding, dizziness and fatigue.

All of which you tried your hardest to hide from him, leaving the room whenever he's present as much as it pains you, but it would hurt you more to put that burden on his shoulders.

You spend all day in bed as every other day, the nurses attending to your pain.

Until night falls and he returns.

You shuffle out of bed with great difficulty, barely standing on your feet until you stumble and nearly collapse on the ground but he's there to catch you in his arms.

And it makes your heart crumble in your chest. It's the first time he’s touched you since that day. But none of it is his fault. You've been avoiding him.

"Love..." he mutters with concern, "What’s wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." you make a quick excuse that you need to leave for your nightly routine, but he persists.

"Wait. Please. Talk to me, love." he pleads desperately to have his wife back.

"There's nothing to talk about, Simon." you respond coldly and leave the room.

The moment you close the door behind you, you clutch your belly in your hands and let out a silent scream.

But you don't know from the pain in your abdomen or your heart.

You spend the night in another room, not in your bed, not with your husband, but alone.

You don't get much sleep as the ache in your heart becomes unbearable.

You truly miss him.

The gates to the room open and you gasp, startled.

But then your eyes land on him, hair disheveled and eyes puffy and red.

Your gaze softens and tears form in your eyes.

"Love, please. Don't run away this time." he implores, voice almost breaking with a sob.

He lies down beside you, refraining from touching you in case it makes you uncomfortable, or makes you run like a frightened animal.

You sit in silence for a while. This is the most time you've spent together since that day.

"Tell me what's wrong, love. I am worried about you. Please." he pleads again, turning to look at you through glossy eyes.

You don't dare to meet his gaze as you cry silently.

He slowly reaches to wipe your tears, his touch so soft and tender so as not to startle you.

Until you can’t hold back your sobs anymore.

You throw yourself in his arms and wail at the top of your lungs, for the loss of your child, for the pain you have endured all this time, alone, and for missing him.

And he holds you so delicately as you weep together.

And you tell him. All the things you've been hiding from him.

And it only makes him hold you tighter.

[foolishsunshine]

And, just like that, it's over.

The music fades out. The cheering is like white noise, buzzing in his ears, as Astarion pulls him back upright. He's smiling; really, truly smiling, the way that he does so rarely it feels like a gift.

“Good?” Gale gasps, suddenly realising how hard he's breathing, but unable to hold back the smile that's trying to split his face in half.

“Might be the best you've ever done it,” Astarion says, squeezing his fingers before letting him go. “Camera’s waiting.”

The Season by Linnetagain

Drawing the boys doing Tessa & Scott’s Moulin Rouge routine again because I have no chill and no self control. The latest chapter had me screaming/crying/throwing up and this is how I am coping.

Again, inspired by the wonderful, magnificent The Season; the bloodweave figure skating AU fic that I didn’t know I needed and now can’t live without. Read it and weep, friends; join me in this brainrot hell.

Also I literally do not know how to colour/render but I’m trying to learn please be kind 🥺

[m-musings]

okokokok, i LOVE how you wrote the overwatch boys, and I have a kind of long-winded request for Cassidy, Hanzo, Genji, and (if you write for him) Ramattra:

their s/o was previously a test subject for Talon experiments, something they have nightmares about. how would the boys react to their partner having one of said nightmares and trying to attack the person trying to wake them up.

ik this is kinda specific, but thank you if you write it! ♡♡♡♡

A/n: oooo this is a good request, let's hope my angsty writing chops are up to par bcuz i really hope this lives up to what you want (hcs under the cut!)

Warnings: general angst, accidental physical violence, mentions & implications of past torture (also op doesn't really know how to write nightmares/night terrors asdfghjkl) Word Count:1586

Headcanons: Cassidy, Genji, Hanzo and Ramattra with a Former Talon Test Subject S/O (Separate)

Cassidy:

When Cassidy awakes in the middle of the night to the sound of you fiercely muttering at no one, its safe to say he's concerned.

He listens for a moment as you make alarmed noises, trying to discern what exactly is going on.

After turning over to flip on the light, he glances over at your sleeping form thrashing around with your brow furrowed in terror.

"N-no... get a...away f-from me..." Cassidy hears you say clearly, getting more worried by the second.

As he begins to reach over to try and rouse you from your slumber, the volume of your voice grows from a to an earsplitting shriek.

As you keep screaming, you start becoming combative, slapping and punching at Cass while somehow still asleep.

"Whoa, hey, hey, hey! Jus' h-hold on a darn second here!" He says as he tries to block your attacks by grabbing your hands.

"No! NO! Let me out!" You wail as tears start streaming down your cheeks.

"Darlin', it's a dream, you gotta wake up! I'm here, just open your eyes!"

Debating between forcing you to wake up and just continuing to reassure you and talk you down from the fear, he decides that the latter is probably going to be the safest for both of you.

After a several minutes long struggle, you slowly stop trying to fight Cole as your once frantic breathing begins to return to its normal pace.

Your tired eyes begin to blink open as the last bit of panic leaves your body in a few small gasps. When you fully regain consciousness, Cassidy sighs in relief as realization begins to sink into your thoughts.

"Are you okay, what the hell happened there?!" Questions Cole as he smooths his hands over your hair.

Choking out a small sob, you gently grasp his bicep to try and ground yourself as more tears begin to fall from your eyes.

"Cass, I-I'm sorry... I- I was back in Talon and the pain j-just wouldn't stop!"

His heart drops at the mention of the evil organization, knowing what kind of awful treatment you went through while kept there.

"I tr-tried to get away but I just.... couldn't! It was awful!" You whisper as you cross your arms over your chest.

"Darlin' I'm so sorry... I am so sorry..." Cole responds faintly before carefully pulling you into a hug.

The room grows still again for a moment, with only the sound of your hushed weeps filling the air.

"I don't wanna go back, please don't let them take me!" You cry into Cole's shoulder as he holds you close.

"No, no, you won't. I swear that as long I'm breathin', I will always make sure you never have to go through that ever again."

Genji:

Genji is all too familiar with nightmares. During the first couple years after his confrontation with Hanzo, he would very frequently have them. He's been through that whole song and dance a million times before.

Which is the reason he immediately knows what's happening when he wakes to the sound of your screams next to him.

He rushes to throw your shared quilt off and make sure you're okay, getting punched once or twice in the process.

After the nightmares pass and you calm down enough to speak, Genji is right there to comfort you.

"It's alright, my love, it is over now... Are you okay?" He questions as he holds one of your palms in his.

You shake your head no as you take several sharp breaths in and out.

"I was there again... in that-that godforsaken lab with fucking Moira prodding at me like cattle! It felt li-like it would never end! I can't go through that again!"

"And you don't have to. I don't know all of what happened to you, but I promise you will never have to face it on your own. I'm here to help you however I'm able to."

As the fearful adrenaline steadily leaves your veins, Genji brings your hand up to his chest so you could feel his heart beating just beneath his cybernetics.

"I love you and will sit here with you as long as you need me too."

With a sad, shaky laugh, you nod and you take your hand back in order to wrap yourself around him.

He does the same in turn as you embrace him ever so slightly tighter before he ushers for you to lay back down together so you can get some much needed sleep.

Pulling the blanket back over your bodies, he scooches in a little closer and begins to hum softly in the hopes of lulling you into a nightmare-less slumber.

Watching as your eyes begin to flutter closed again, he hears you mumble something just before you doze off.

"Thank you, Genji... I love you too."

Hanzo:

Hanzo already has trouble sleeping himself, so when your nightmares come around, he's already wide awake.

As you toss and turn underneath your blanket, he tries to calm you down by running his hand over you head, not caring if he gets hurt by your unintentionaly violent movements.

Once the night-terror ends, you start holding your face in your hands and rock back and forth as Hanzo rubs assuaging circles on your back.

"My dear, what can I do? How do I make the fear stop for now?" The archer inquires as you continue to shake in place.

"I don't know, Han... every time I close my eyes, all I can see is the lights and the wires and the needles... It won't go away no matter how hard I try. I just want them to be gone." You state, anxiously starting to press at your temples.

With a noiseless sigh escaping from his lips, Hanzo moves closer to place an arm across your shoulder and rest his forehead against your head.

"I am sorry for not being there with you. If I were able to change history, I would have gone to great lengths to rescue you."

As you begin to cry at his admission, he places a delicate kiss atop your head.

"I would never ask you to do something that dangerous for me. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you..." You sob out as you bury yourself into Hanzo's side.

Hanzo is quick to wrap his other arm around you, offering a comforting squeeze before ushering you into his lap.

"You wouldn't ever have to ask for my help. I would trade my life for yours if it meant that no more harm would come to you."

Ramattra:

It's uncommon for Omnics to dream- let alone have nightmares- so the first one you have around Ramattra? It comes as a bit of a shock to him.

When he hears you yell, he all but rockets out of his reboot cycle to scan the room for any hidden threats to your safety.

After seeing nobody there but the two of you, he glances down to see you- fast asleep but clawing at the air like a trapped animal scratching at a predator.

He then decides to do a scan of your vitals, just to make sure you aren't in any immediate medical distress. The scan reveals to him that your heartrate and breathing are through the roof.

Just as he's about to cross the room to try and wake you up, you shoot up from your fitful rest with a loud inhale as you slam your hands down onto the mattress below.

Swiftly joining your side on the bed, he cautiously turns your visage towards him as he goes to brush a few stray strands of hair out of your face.

While your eyes try to adjust to the low light of your room, you call out Ramattra's name, receiving a modulated but relaxing shush from his vocalizer.

"Calm yourself, pet, I'm right here. Now, tell me what has happened."

As you take a moment or two to collect yourself and come down from your frenzy, you gaze up to meet the faint glow of his faceplate emitting from his eyes.

"It's Talon; they... tormented me... a long time ago. Had me chained down as a doctor injected chemicals into me before he began flushing them out and started the whole process over again..."

Watching as you barely manage to hold back tears, His joints all seem to freeze in place as fury begins to creep in and take over all his systems.

"They need to suffer for their misdeeds. Who are they?..." He presses, his voice now hauntingly deeper than before .

"I don't know their names, and even if I did, I would do everything in my power to forget them."

An uneasy silence fills the space between you two, staying there for a minute before the large Omnic grunts and lifts you into his arms.

"I am sorry for what you had to go through. Just know that if any pain ever comes your way again, the offenders shall be personally dealt with." Ramattra claims as he rests his faceplate against your jaw.

Relishing in the cool feeling of his metal features against your warm skin, you nod appreciatively before he begins to lightly sway you to and fro.

Watching as you drift back to sleep, Ramattra makes a mental note to hunt down the Talon members who hurt you the next time he meets his allies. He wouldn't and will not stand for the mistreatment of the only human he has ever cared about.

[shima-draws]

OK, so thinking about a Sanlu au where Luffy is a Pirate King who gets so many marriage requests but does not want to get married. And so he instead insists that he gets to choose his partner through a contest where all the princes and princesses of like the countries around them or other pirates can like bring him a meal and if he likes it, you get married. The problem is that whenever people bring him food he'll just eat it and move on.

And so obviously the vinsmokes are like. Oh s***, we should get in on that. New Ally? And so they try with some of Sanji's others brothers, but none of them like work because they just made their cooks make their meals and everything.

Then eventually sanji, who wants to escape hears about this. And he knows that he can cook so he makes this amazing meat dish He is ready to present his meal towards the Prince in hopes of like maybe escaping his country and living there with Luffy. But like as he's on the way there, there's like this little girl who's starving, and so he gives her the meal instead. It was a one in a million shot anyway.

Anyway, either Luffy sees him doing this or if this was like the true test for kindness for all his partners, and sanji passes the test. Luffy's like get bring this man to me! So sanji goes before him, and luffy asks if he has a meal for him. All sanji has is like, this old sandwhich that he made for himself for the journey here, and sanji tells luffy that. Luffy tells him to bring it to him anyway, and after a lot of protests, he does. Luffy finally eats it and says that its delicious. He and sanji definitely get married.

Sorry for dumping this on you, but your artwork made me literally fall in love with sanlu so I wanted to share this middle of the night idea with you lol.

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP ANON THIS IS EVERYTHING.......I'm a SUCKER for AUs like this, ones that kinda give off that Cinderella vibe? The whole 'Well if I have to get married to a random stranger I'm gonna do it my way' trope is always so fun to explore

Luffy's one requirement for a spouse being that they have to cook well is SO on brand for him tbh. I feel like that's something that would be canon too. (Thinks about a situation like that in canon where Luffy's like well nobody can cook better than Sanji so I'll just marry Sanji! And Sanji double takes like wait what hold on a second--)

Even funnier would be if Luffy just met Sanji's brothers and was like. I don't like their vibes they seem mean. And all three of them being SO offended at that lmao

SANJI GIVING HIS DISH TO A STARVING GIRL THO AAAHGFHFHF THAT'S SO. CLENCHES MY TEETH he's so selfless and giving he would absolutely give up all of his dreams just to make sure someone doesn't go hungry I am GOING to cry. And Luffy immediately noticing that, pointing at Sanji and going "Him. I want that one" AGHHH 😭😭😭

ALSO YES THE CALLBACK TO WCI with Sanji's little lunch basket...the food is a total mess it's been rained on and dropped and looks awful but Luffy eats it anyway and says it's delicious...and Sanji's like oh oh oh I think I'm in love with him. Uh-oh.

DON'T APOLOGIZE THIS IS SOOO ADORABLE I'm so glad I got you hooked on Sanlu they are so underrated!!! Going slightly off topic here but I think it's really funny how predictable I am when it comes to getting into new media. Step 1 I watch a show and slowly discover who my Favorites are. Step 2 I end up shipping those favorites together. Step 3 I make that everybody else's problem. Also that ship almost always ends up being the less popular one for some reason?? Which is SO funny to me. Looks at Trustedpartner/Diode, Yujikiri and Tododeku as the most obvious examples of this along with Sanlu

ANYWAY anon I really want to write this can I write this. No guarantees to me actually finishing a full blown fic but oh my godddd this is such a cute idea and is so in character for both of them I'm weeping real tears

[babydollmarauders]

FIGHT — JACK HUGHES

part of the el!hughes au

summary: y/n (lovie) and jack get into their biggest fight yet

warnings: fighting, mention of bad parents (lovie’s)

my head slumps on the back of the couch as Eleanor’s cries pierce my eardrums.

“El, baby, c’mon.” i groan out.

my recently turned one year old is sprawled out on the apartment floor, throwing a fit over something of which i have no idea.

i tried to pick her up, but she just kept pushing my hands away, screaming ‘mama! no! mama, no! no, mama!’

it’s been two weeks of this, and i have a sneaking suspicion that her constant sour mood has been all because of the particular absence of her favorite person. Jack.

it’s been two weeks of early wake-ups and late nights. two weeks of El having meltdowns if i mess up even one thing, like giving her cheetos in a bowl instead of her snack cup, or suggesting Moana instead of watching Lilo & Stitch for the billionth time, or reading her the wrong book at bed time. it’s been two weeks of sleep regression, no naps, and her throwing her food every chance she gets. two weeks of her screaming if i try and leave the room, but screaming if i try and pick her up as well. two weeks of bags under my eyes, messy buns because my hair is horribly greasy, and surviving purely on coffee.

i’m tired. my feet hurt because every time i sit, El screams at me. my head hurts from her screaming. and now my stomach cramps because i, of course, both started my period, and have not had a moment to eat all day. i’ve broken down in tears nearly every night once i finally get El to sleep, because i don’t know how much more of this i can take.

tears well up in my eyes at this very moment, and it takes everything in me to hold back my own screams. not necessarily directed at my daughter, but just in frustration. i can’t think clearly. it’s nearing midnight and i’ve tried everything to get her to sleep, but she just keeps fighting it.

i know she’s tired, just like i am. she’s been up since five in the morning, which means so have i.

“i give up.” i cry out, burying my face in my hands, weeping into them in frustration and exhaustion. “i get it, El. you want your father. i know. please, i know.”

El’s cries pause and i peek through my fingers to see her watching me with a tilted head, before she bursts back into tears.

i steel my spine, wiping my own tears, and strengthening myself. i rise from the couch, scooping my daughter up, despite her smacks to my chest and pulls on my now-falling-out bun, and shuffle towards her bedroom.

going for the last ditch effort, i grab the hidden pacifier in her top dresser drawer, and pop it into her mouth before turning on the white noise machine in the corner and placing her in her crib.

i gaze down at her, watching as she yawns, tears still slipping from her eyes. her eyelids flutter closed before she pries them back open and stares back at me.

“Eleanor Elizabeth Hughes, you have to sleep.” i scold in a whisper.

retreating from the room, closing the door and listening for her wails; i nearly cry in relief when nothing comes. nothing but silence and the sound of the white noise.

my feet pad across the wooden floors as i walk to the kitchen, keeping an ear out for El’s possible whines. too drained to make myself anything sustainable, i settle for a yogurt cup and a cheese stick. bringing my snacks with me into Jack and i’s bedroom, i settle under the blankets.

i have no energy to put into paying attention to a show or movie, and not nearly enough to read a book; so i sit in silence, staring at the wall as i eat.

placing the now empty yogurt cup on my nightstand, i pick at the cheese stick, lost in thought.

i’m struggling.

i feel like a single parent half the time.

i’m not sure how actual single parents do it. the ones who have to work and take care of their children. because parenting in and of itself is a full time job.

i know it’s not fair of me to think so little of myself, but i can’t help feeling like a horrible mother. she never wants me anymore; only ever yearning for Jack.

and i get it. i yearn for him too when he’s gone.

but can’t she be happy with me?

i miss the sound of the front door shutting; too deep in my own head. too far gone in my own thoughts.

but i do hear the not-so-hushed whispers of my husband and his brother as they venture farther into the apartment.

i hear the ‘goodnight.’ from Luke before his bedroom door shuts. i hear the nursery door opening, the white noise from the room getting louder. and then a few minutes later, i hear the nursery door click shut and the sound of my husbands footsteps getting closer down the hall before our bedroom door opens.

my cheese stick is long gone, and my fingers now settle for playing with each other. my nails picking at the others as i still sit in a catatonic state of exhaustion; staring at the wall in front of me.

Jack lets out a breath of surprise when he notices i’m awake in the dim lighting of the bedside lamp.

“hey, lovie.” he leans down, his fists pressing down on the mattress top, and lays a swift kiss on my cheek before rising back up to his full height.

i glance over as he throws Eleanor’s pacifier onto his nightstand.

“i thought we agreed no more pacifiers when she turned one? she hasn’t had one in the past month.” he huffs, stripping his shirt off and throwing it towards the hamper in the corner of the bedroom, narrowly missing by an inch. he eyes the shirt for a millisecond before shrugging and repeating the process with his pants, this time making it in the hamper.

“yeah, well, you weren’t here to attend to her screams and i was.” i retort.

“so you resorted to the paci?” he questions, pulling a pair of flannel pajama pants out of his dresser drawer.

“stop mom-shaming me.” i snap, scooting down and flopping onto my side, my back facing Jack.

“lovie.” he sighs. the bed dips as he sits behind me. “that’s not what i was doing.”

“yes. you were.” i accuse. “you’re saying i’m a bad mom for giving my daughter what she needed in order to fall asleep.”

i turn in the bed to look up at him and he parts his lips to speak, but i keep going.

“but you weren’t here, Jack. you didn’t hear her cries, or have to try every trick in the book to calm her down. you weren’t awake with her for nineteen hours with no nap only to still have her fight bed time. so, yes, i resorted to the pacifier. and ya know what? it worked.”

“i get that you’re in a bad mood, but why are you taking it out on me? i wasn’t even here for you to get angry at me.” he remarks.

“i’m not.” i deny, closing my eyes and hoping he’ll take it as a sign to just let me sleep.

“you are.” he grunts. “and it makes me feel like i’m the bad guy for doing my job.”

“well, i wouldn't have to do this all alone if it weren't for your fucking job.” i know as soon as i say it that my words were uncalled for. but, before i can take them back, Jack stands from the bed, making my eyes fly open to look at him.

“do i not help when i’m home? i’m so sorry that me providing for our family is so hard for you.” he sneers. his sarcasm is not appreciated, and i sit up in the bed in anger. “i’m so sorry that you have to be a mother, while i’m gone making money so that you don’t have to work.”

i shuffle onto my knees on the bed, glaring daggers at my husband.

“when have i ever complained about being a mother? and when have i ever said that i don’t want to work? i never asked to stay at home! but it’s what i do, because not both of us can work without putting El in daycare. which you said you didn’t want to do.”

my finger juts at my chest before poking his. my words harsh in delivery, but quiet in attempt to not disturb the sleeping baby down the hall.

“i never once complained about being a mother. i love her.” i continue.

“are you implying that i don’t love her?” Jack fumes.

“i never said that!” i cry. “you’re putting words into my mouth!”

“i’m just trying to provide for us!” our attempted quiet is long forgotten now, and i can only hope that the white noise in El’s room is enough to mask our argument.

“you think i don’t know that?” i exclaim, he opens his mouth but i don’t let him get a word in. “i’m just saying that you don’t understand how exhausting it is being a single parent half the fucking hockey season! you leave and play games and go out to fucking bars to celebrate wins and i stay here and take care of our daughter, who for the past two weeks, only wanted you!”

Jack throws his hands up in the air, huffing in anger.

“well, i can’t help that! i get that it’s hard, but you’d think you’d be a bit more grateful. it’s part of my job to leave, y/n!”

of everything he’s said, it’s those words that cut me the deepest. and what hurts the most, as small as it may seem, is that within all of our fights, big or small, throughout our entire six years together, never once has he called me by my name while we fought.

it’s always ‘lovie’.

but suddenly, i’m ‘y/n’.

i lower myself onto my butt on the mattress. tears are streaming down my cheeks and i try to wipe them away before Jack can see them.

“now you’re gonna cry?” he lowers himself onto the bed and i push myself off of it in order to gain distance, now standing a couple feet away.

“i quit.” my voice is quiet and surrendered, my words sheltered. i watch as his face drops, lips parting in shock.

“what?” he mumbles, his eyes softening.

i shake my head, letting my tears flow freely now as i round the bed and i head toward the cracked open door.

“where are you going?” he questions, his tone still holding a dash of anger.

“to sleep in Luke’s room.” i reply. he calls after me but his words fall on deaf ears.

i need space.

i don’t bother knocking on Luke’s door, opening it to find him just now sitting down in bed, his hair wet and leftover steam drifting from his en-suite bathroom.

his head snaps over to the door as i close it, and at the sight of my tears, he pats the bed beside him.

a sob racks my chest as i crawl into bed with the boy i look at as a brother. he pulls me into his side, no words spoken between us as he rubs a hand over my hair, letting me cry into his chest and soak his plain white t-shirt.

a muffled cry escapes my lips and he squeezes me tighter, pressing a kiss to my scalp. nothing needs to be said, no words needed to be shared, just quiet shushes and his hand rubbing up and down my back, the other still holding my head tight to his chest in grounding.

i’m not sure how long passes before i cry myself to sleep, Jack’s words echoing on a loop inside my head.

‘you’d think you’d be a bit more grateful.’

***

i’m unsure what time it is when i awake, but Luke is gone from the bed, and the sun peeks through the bedroom window.

i know Luke and Jack have the day off, so if Luke is already up, then i must have slept in later than i usually do.

despite the apparent long sleep, i don’t feel as well rested as i should. my eyes flutter shut for a few moments, but at the sound of the familiar squeal of excitement from my daughter, drifting in through the crack in the door, my eyes fly back open.

i kick my legs free from the tangle of blankets and throw them over the side of the bed, peeling my tired body up off the mattress. i rub my eyes as i walk over to Luke’s bathroom, ignoring the mess amongst the counter and looking in the mirror.

my eyes are still red and puffy from crying, and i turn on the faucet, cupping my hands under the cold running water and splashing it on my face before drying it with the hand towel that’s thrown haphazardly on the counter.

exiting the bathroom and bedroom, i’m immediately met with the sight of El’s smiling face bounding down the hall. her chubby little legs wobble as she runs.

“mama! dada!” she squeals, motioning behind her. a grin overtakes my lips at her excitement.

“yeah? is dada home?” i ask with a laugh as she runs smack into my legs, reaching up with grabby hands.

my heart melts in my chest. for the first time in two weeks, she wants me.

“mama! dada!” she repeats as i hoist her up, lifting her above my head and rejoicing in her giggles.

my eyes are all too soon drawn to my husband at the end of the hall. he stands leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, a faint smile on his lips while my own falls at the sight of him.

our fight replays in my mind; flashes of his red face and his defensive stance. echoes of his harsh tone and his cruel words.

Jack approaches us, leaning down to press a kiss to my lips, but i shift my face, his lips landing on my cheek instead. pulling back, his face falls, hurt shining in his eyes. it hurts me to see him upset, but i can’t bring myself to feel too bad, as i, too, am hurting.

i maneuver around him, padding down the hallway with El in my arms, making my way to the open layout of the living room and kitchen.

Luke is sat on the couch, eyes on his phone while Lilo & Stitch plays on the tv, and i flop down beside him. El crawls into his lap, pushing his phone out of the way and pushing her smiling face into his line of sight. i watch his eyes light up, sliding his phone into his pocket and tickling her sides.

a laugh escapes my lips as he lifts El upside down in front of his face, making her giggle contagiously. but once again, my lips fall back straight as Jack enters the room again.

the day continues like this, living amicably with Jack, but not happily. as the day goes on, the more i reflect on our fight the night prior, and the worse i feel. i was in the wrong. i knew that last night and i know it now.

i know leaving El is hard for him, just as taking care of her without him is hard for me. but my guilt doesn’t erase his words.

i know he didn’t mean it, just as he knows that i didn’t mean mine, but it still hurts. he cut deep. he accused me of being ungrateful, the very same thing he knows my parents called me when i told them i was moving out.

‘you’re so ungrateful. we offered you to keep living with us even after your graduation, and you’d rather move out with your unstable little boyfriend than live with the people who raised you. well, don’t come crawling back to us, we don’t take ungrateful children.’

a lump grows in my throat as i compare the fights. it’s nine at night and Jack is in El’s room, putting her to sleep, Luke long having retired to his own bedroom, leaving me alone on the couch. my knees are pulled up to my chest, my arms hugging them tight, as tears stream down my cheeks.

a small part of me tells me i should apologize. i know if i do, he will too. he already seems to want to move past it.

but the larger part of me says to wait. to let him apologize to me. to make him acknowledge that we fought. instead of brushing past it like it never happened.

Jack strides into the living room, child free, and it’s the first time we’ve really been alone together all day.

i avoid his gaze, rather wiping my tears and averting my eyes to the television, which still plays the credits of The Little Mermaid from our before bedtime movie.

he sighs, taking a seat on the opposite side of the couch. his hand reaches out to graze my leg and i flinch at the soft touch. the larger part of me wins and i rise from the couch, stalking off to our bedroom and away from him.

i quickly change into my pajamas, hoping to be out of the bedroom before he comes in, but i’m not so lucky.

he enters the room as i’m pulling my t-shirt over my head. my t-shirt. not his. he notices this change quickly and shakes his head.

he stands silently, his back leaning against the now closed door as i pull on sweatpants, watching my every move.

i move to the en-suite bathroom when i’m done. making quick work of washing my face and brushing my teeth. when i finally finish with my nightly routine, i head back out to the still blocked bedroom door.

Jack eyes me up and down, and a quick wetting of his lips tells me he’s horny, but i laugh inside at the thought.

does me angry and upset, turn him on? does he really think he has any chance of getting lucky tonight when he hasn’t even apologized?

“can you move?” i huff, crossing my arms.

“where are you going now?” he questions, shaking his head.

“Luke’s room. again.”

“you know we have a bed, right? the one you were in last night before you left me alone in here.” his words twist my heart, but i stand my ground.

“oh, you mean the same bed i was sitting in when you implied that i’m ungrateful and selfish?” i mock, tilting my head.

“lovie.” his tone is defensive enough to let me know that he doesn’t plan on apologizing tonight, so rather than waiting and hoping for Jack to move, i push him aside lightly with my shoulder and slip through the door.

i knock lightly on Luke’s door and it doesn’t take long for him to open it, letting me slip through into the room.

“you guys are still fighting?” Luke asks, shutting the door and walking over to sit on his bed.

“i promise, this is the last time i’ll sleep in your room. if we’re still fighting tomorrow night, i’ll sleep on the couch.” i assure him, crawling up the bed and laying on my side, facing him.

“i don’t have a problem with you sleeping in here, lovie.” he sighs, laying down on his side so that we lay face to face. “i’ve just never seen you guys fight like this, ya know? you guys are usually so in love, it just scares me to see you fight. i want the best for both of you.”

my eyes soften and i raise my hand, running it softly through Luke’s unruly curls.

“Lukey, i’m still madly in love with your brother. one fight isn’t gonna change that.” i tell him. “he said some things that hurt me. i said things that i’m sure hurt him too. but we’ll get through this. we love each other.”

i speak with assurance, but at this point, i’m not sure if i’m reassuring Luke, or myself.

“you should go to sleep, bubs. you have practice in the morning.” i press a kiss to Luke’s forehead before he turns his bedside lamp off and flops down on his side, his back now facing me.

i follow suit, my back facing Luke as i close my eyes and let myself drift to sleep.

***

i’m woken up by little hands smacking my cheeks, immediately followed by the sound of my husbands whispers.

“oh no, El, we don’t smack mommy. we’re gentle.” he tells her softly, and soon after, i feel her open mouth press against my cheek; her version of a kiss.

my eyes flutter open and i’m met by the smiling face of my daughter. she’s held hovering above me by Jack, who seems worried for my reaction.

“hi, baby!” i coo, a smile stretching over my lips as i take her from him. “good morning, beautiful!”

“mama!” she cheers, followed by a steady stream of babbling.

“she woke up a couple hours ago. she was looking for you.” Jack tells me. “i just changed her diaper, and she already ate breakfast, but i noticed she’s been chewing on everything this morning, so i threw a couple of her teething toys in the freezer and she’ll probably want a popsicle soon to sooth her gums.”

i look up at him and nod, acknowledging that i heard him, before i sit up and lay El down on the bed, tickling her tummy and listening to her joyous giggles fill the room.

“Luke and i are off to practice, we’re running late.” he runs his hand over El’s hair, leaning down and kissing her forehead before turning to look at me again. “Luke said he wants to take El to the park after we get back. he said for me to ask you if you can have her dressed and her diaper bag ready for when he and i get back.”

“yeah, i can do that.” i reply and he nods, pushing off the bed and laying a kiss on my own forehead before he leaves the room.

i heave out a sigh, looking down at El, who’s already looking up at me.

“you wanna go take a shower with mommy?” i baby talk, pasting a smile back on my face. she smiles right back, grabbing at my shirt. “yeah, you do. you love showers, don’t you? my little water baby.”

*

El is all dressed and ready to go when Jack and Luke arrive home, while i stick the last snack into her diaper bag.

“hey, lovie.” Luke chimes, throwing an arm around my shoulder and squeezing my head into his chest. “she ready?”

“mhm! she should be good to go.” i confirm as i push out of his hold, stuffing the bag into his arms instead. “you have the stroller, right?”

“yeah, i’m taking Jack’s car and it’s already in the trunk.” he confirms, slinging the diaper bag over his shoulder and scooping his niece up from where she was already staring up at him by his legs.

“alright, say bye-bye to mommy and daddy!” Luke sings out, waving to us. El copies him, waving her entire arm about in order to wave goodbye, and with that, they’re out the door; leaving Jack and i in silence.

i busy myself by picking up the toys strewn about the living room floor, while Jack unloads the dishwasher. but tension lingers in the air.

maybe i should just apologize.

i hate this feeling.

i hate not being cuddled up with him right now.

we usually spend any El free hours curled up in our bed. napping, watching a movie, talking, or just taking part in general bedroom activities.

but instead, we’re across the room from each other, doing daily household chores and trying hard to avoid the screaming silence between us.

i drop a barbie into the toy box and stand up straight, looking towards my husband, who’s already staring at me with gentle eyes.

“i’m sorry.” i sigh, squeezing my eyes shut, holding my hands to my face. “i hate fighting.”

his hurried footsteps click against the wooden floors, stopping when he gets in front of me. his hands come up to mine, delicately pulling them away from my face before his arms encircle my waist.

“i hate it too.” he whispers, and i know his words hold a double meaning. he hates fighting and he hates leaving.

“i shouldn’t have said the things that i did. i shouldn’t have taken my bad mood out on you.” i let my head bob forward, my forehead laying against his chest. “i was tired, and i was angry at the situation, but not at you. never at you. you’re providing for our family, and i’m so glad that you get to do that by doing something you love.”

he kisses the top of my head, his lips lingering on my scalp.

“i’m sorry too.” he mumbles against me.

“i’m sorry for making it seem like i was mom-shaming you, i should’ve chosen my words more carefully. i’m sorry for making you feel bad. i’m sorry for accusing you of saying i don’t love her, i know that’s not what you were saying. and most of all, i’m sorry for implying that you were ungrateful. you’re not. i know you’re not. i should’ve never implied that you were.

“you’re an amazing mom, lovie. the best i could’ve ever hoped for El. i should’ve been more understanding about how hard it is for you to take care of her alone while i’m gone.”

i peer up at him, my chin still resting on his chest, and give him a pointed look.

“and i’m sorry for not calling you ‘lovie’.” he huffs out through a laugh. the corners of my mouth quirk up and i pull his head down to push our lips together.

my whole body melts even further into his, finally at peace for the first time in over two weeks.

[horuslupercal]

got asked on the Guilliman post so

How Primarchs Cry (To Me)

Lion: represses and represses and represses and then hides away in a closet squished into the corner like a cat on its deathbed but otherwise cries pretty normally. do not point it out to him. gets defensive if you point it out

Fulgrim: gets headaches from crying so hard. keeps a handkerchief nearby because his face gets all gross. at some point in every hardcore crying session he verbally says, "enough." because it annoys him

Perturabo: trying everything in his power to give off the vibe that he never cries. takes every breath very carefully to make sure it's silent, confidently strides off away from this shit (hides away), etc

Khan: is fine, is fine, is fine, and then he's laying in bed and suddenly has to bolt upright to cry into his hands because holy shit that's sure a wave of emotion. it's okay, it'll pass, but hooooly shit at this exact moment it hurts. doesn't want to be seen but it's not the worst thing in the world if he is

Russ: crawls under Freki and Geri like when they were pups and cries for a good while. at some point he rolls over and runs his hand over his face and then grabs one of his brothers around the neck for a wrestle session and he's either fine or he's fine enough to keep on keeping on

Dorn: goes to a private room, does the "I am in control of my emotions" like Spock in that one TOS episode, and then spins around and puts his fist through the wall. opens the door with a hole in the wall and his hair no longer perfectly coiffed and his face blotchy and red and tells you he wasn't crying

Konrad: either silently weeping or wailing like a banshee. never in between. he doesn't choose which.

Sanguinius: the only primarch who can pretty cry but only up to a certain level. at some point he starts screaming and wailing like a fox caught in a bear trap and doubling over in pain and his hair gets all stuck to his face

Ferrus: throws tantrums. doesn't collapse to the floor like a toddler but does start breaking things. makes fun of the reason for his upset -- the mid-funeral roast session in some au where Fulgrim dies pre-heresy would get him cancelled on twitter because it's the only way he can deal with something that shattering. I'm pretty sure I got that headcanon from @luwupercal actually

Angron: cries for all sorts of reasons. sometimes the nails make him cry, not because they hurt or because he hates them but just because they're directly fucking with his brain chemistry. that's the kind of passive cry where he's crying but it's not an event, it's just his tear ducts doing their thing. used to seek out comfort from his siblings in the pit when he was crying from emotion, now he flips tables and screams

Guilliman: an asthmatic pug caught in a plastic ring. gasping for air, sounds like he's being strangled, the works. sounds like he's dying

Mortarion: also sounds asthmatic, on account of the asthma. his tear ducts don't work right so he doesn't really "cry" so much as hyperventilate and occasionally dry heave

Magnus: the crying is what it is, the psychic crying is the real event. his aura gets real sticky and slow and sad, like syrup, and has a tendency to kind of. contaminate other people with his grief unless he specifically stops it from doing that. I feel like he cries when he's mad, too

Horus: sits down and covers his mouth with his hand and puts his elbow on his knee and cries like that. for some reason I feel like it's especially weird for the luna wolves to see him cry -- it's always weird to see your parent cry, but it's extra weird for them and I'm not sure why. horus sitting on a couch crying with his head in his hands and two luna wolves sending panicked looks at each other 👍

Lorgar: compresses/hugs himself so hard he can't breathe, digs his nails into his skin, etc. we saw in the first heretic that he makes himself physically uncomfortable about grief and that's really stuck with me tbh. doesn't really.... know how to cry without also being in physical pain about it

Vulkan: bows his head and weeps, standing right where he is. weirdly bad at being okay with his own grief specifically -- he'll comfort a brother without issue, but his own makes him feel on edge and sedentary and he needs to move and do something and not stand here being sad, he needs to take action, he can't let it be sticky and slow

Corvus: repression king. he can't cry right now he's too BUSY. fuck this shit. and then there's a trigger and he shatters like a popsicle bridge with too much weight on it. the year of isolation before his departure definitely involved a blanket burrito

Alpharius Omegon: how do they need to cry for this scenario?

[intimidating-fettuccine]

BEN scenario visiting the grave of his Y/N please

BEN spends all of his time after you pass between two places, either his bedroom or visiting your grave. He can't stand to be around other people, but he also can't stand to be alone without you. He misses you more than he ever thought it possible to miss someone, and it leads him to lay and sit around your grave most of the time, and sometimes he even sleeps out there beside you, camping out and refusing to leave your grave. When he's in his room, he's either burying himself in his work or forcing himself to play games to make himself focus on something other than missing you.

BEN barely even truly enjoys games anymore, as he can no longer play them with you. The others are also growing concerned at the rate that he's handling his work, as he's working himself far too hard, and while as a ghost he doesn't technically need to sleep, working for 18 hours straight isn't healthy in the slightest bit. Even when resting next to your grave, he always has his work laptop or a handheld game console in his hands, unable to just rest and come to terms with the fact that you're gone. Now, as he sits beside your grave, his back resting against your tombstone, he has his face buried into his Switch, clicking away at the buttons as he tries to ignore the growing emotions in his chest.

-

"I changed around the formation of my island again. It was annoying having to move everyone's houses again, but I really like the new design. It was the one I told you about last month before--" He cuts himself off, sniffling as he goes back to running around his Animal Crossing island.

Before you had died. He had told you about his plans before you had died, and that had been the cause of him putting it off so long. He'd thought to himself that if he did anything he'd told you about before the day you died, that it would be a show of proof that you were gone. That he was progressing and moving forward while you had to stay behind. 

"Should I... Change it back..?" His words are a whisper as he stares down at his Switch, and it's not until wet droplets start hitting his screen that he realizes he's crying. 

He looks up, away from his screen, and it's the first time he takes a moment to notice his surroundings since he's been visiting you. The tall, protective trees hanging overhead. The beautifully blooming flowers that decorate the surrounding area. The gifts surrounding your grave, placed there by other members of the mansion. The words stamped into your tombstone to commemorate you. The violent shaking of his shoulders, the loud cries escaping his lips as he turns around, clinging to the stone as he shuts his eyes, trying to close out the world once again.

"It was my fault...! I assigned you to that mission...!! I did this!!" He screams out, sobbing and weeping and finally letting all of the tears he'd been fighting so desperately to hold inside out. 

BEN has been feeling extremely tremendous guilt since your passing. He was the one who assigned everyone to their missions, and he had been useless to protect you from harm as you died that night. He felt himself hyperventilating as he sank to the ground, his hands gripping the grass covering where you'll rest eternally.

"What a disgusting person I am... I'd even wished that you'd have come back to me as a ghost, even though that means you would have had to have an extremely traumatic death... How horrible of me, even after being the one to cause your death inadvertently... But I just miss you so much!" He screams out again, choking on his breath and heaving, gagging as he tries not to throw up from anxiety and the overwhelming emotions taking over him.

He lays there like that for what feels like hours, sobbing and choking on air, despite the fact that as a ghost he doesn't even need to breathe, but he can't seem to remember that with all the emotions flowing through him. Eventually, he collapses, lying motionless and staring blankly ahead of himself. 

"Maybe I should just... Disappear...? Would that make up for my sins...?" His voice is broken and scratchy when it comes out of him in a whisper, and he chuckles sadly at himself as he nuzzles into the ground below him where you rest.

"What am I even saying..? You'd yell at me for that if you were here... Tell me I'm being too hard on myself..." He sniffles loudly, whining as he feels more tears prickling in his eyes. 

"I just want to be with you forever... Even if it means I just never leave this spot ever again. I've considered it before." He whispers again, his eyelids growing heavy despite his body not needing sleep, his brain simply overworked from his emotional outbursts. A deep, heaving sigh leaves his body as he finally closes his eyes, resting above you.

"Goodnight, honey... I love you... Let's sleep here together forever, okay...?"

[how-the-feathers-have-fallen]

you're so fucking welcome to cry in my bathroom. you hear me?

steal the spare key from under the doormat or the key under the shoe rack or the key in the flower vase or the kitchen drawer or my favorite candle-

or steal it right out of my pocket.

(what do you mean why do i have so many house keys? ask this house why it has so many ghosts and why they keep leaving me)

break in at 3 am and make yourself at home

cry in my doorway if you can't make it any further

I'll get out of bed and carry you up. we'll sit on the floor of my tiny dilapidated bath stall, going through the box of shitty make-up I never bought and try to laugh

or throw plastic potted plants out the window onto the rusty pile of baby bikes I never rode if you need to scream and watch something shatter. I'd trade a million styrofoam sunflowers for your laughter

or we'll just curl up in a tight ball and lay in the ancient tub, turn on the shower and weep and wail and sob and shout till we're floating in a salt water ocean

who cares if the tile floor's cold. I've got a dozen fluffy robes hooked on the door. We'll build a soft nest to crash on and a fort to protect us. we'll find the old paperbacks I hid in the the laundry basket and read till the sun rises and sets and explodes.

who cares about those stupid lumps of porcelain plastic. they're ugly and I never wanted them. I think I'd rather have you break them than the world break you.

who cares if the tub's a little rickety and the water's cold and the boiler's old and loud and slow and we'll get soaked to the bone.

I'll hold you till you stop crying. and then I'll hold you after. when you need to come back from where you left to. back to my senior citizen tub in my decrepit water closet in the house you're welcome to. back to me and all my goddamn keys for the same empty lock.

[dragon-queen21]

It’s me again…! Can you guess who imma ask?

I wanna know if you got any baby Tengen and Zenitsu headcanons? Here are a few I have!

- Tengen forgets his strength when he little, and it’s worse when he’s in baby space

- Sometimes he’ll grabs Zenitsu’s hair whenever he has a toy he wants and it cause a whole fit because it hurt a Whoo lot worse than he expected

- Very upset when they are separated

- Tengen only wants to crawl everywhere while Zenitsu needs to be held 25/8

- They both are petregs too, Zen being a bunny and Ten being a mouse; they constantly have the zoomies when they are like this

- Both are criers, they will cry over any and everything

- Can’t find their stuffie; cry. Can’t have a bottle; cry. Can’t have their mommies/daddy (AKA: Suma, Makio, Hinatsuru, Rengoku); cry

- Big cuddlers, they are cuddling while doing pretty much anything

It’s okay if you don’t have any! I mostly just wanted to ramble about the sound brothers lol

“Can you guess who imma ask?”

<- Hmm let me guess. Zenitsu >:3

Not a headcanon but I am working on a fic with Tengen adopting the kamado squad which I thought you would like to know :3 (also have a really angsty fic planned…)

Also not a headcanon but I’ve been up since 1 am and I am heavily projecting my own mental state so these are kinda dark you can probably tell what I wrote two days ago vs this morning- do with that as you will

~~~

~Oh my gosh I can imagine Tengen smacking someone without realizing and the spot bruises slightly and just him feeling so bad about it

~Okay but crying over a missing stuffed animal is very valid. (Speaking from the experience of little me being devastated if something ever happens to my stuffed sheep)

~I feel like Zenitsu would scream and cry and throw a fit only for one of his mama’s to ask what the matter is and then just stop. Like- that’s all he just wanted attention

~Zenitsu with the tiniest bit of disapproval “everyone hates me- going to go and cry about it” and he just folds in on himself and weeps until he either falls asleep (in which case one of his cg’s usually picks him up and brings him to bed) or feels better enough to go find someone to cling too or go and hide

Bad days go something like this ->

“Do you love me?”

“Yes baby.”

“But do you like me?”

“Of course!”

“I think you’re lying.”

~And he’s very used to being told to just shut up so it’s always a shock when he keeps getting answered. Rengoku would be the best at this because he’s throw in so many silly pet names that Zen wouldn’t have any choice but to perk up

~I always believe that Tengen as a kid was a lot more reserved and often times is that way regressed. Not in a comfortable way but in “I’m taking up too much space and people are going to leave me.” Way

[a-casual-kpopfan]

Rain, Rain, Go Away - Haseul Ft. Jinsoul

It was dark night, clouds surrounding what felt like only around the home. The strong pitter patters of the rain droplets impact the window, the howls of strong winds can be heard from with in the home. With the sound of a storm, a loud bang is heard from the thunder, a bang so loud, waking up a certain red panda from her bed.

“Oh… Stupid storm…”

Haseul turns over in the large bed, seeing your side is completely empty. “Babe?” Haseul sits up, terrified that you’re not in bed. Your slippers aren’t at the side of the bed, the pillows don’t have any dents or signs that you even laid down. “BABE?” Haseul throws the comforter off her body, slipper her feet in slippers, almost running off the bed.

“Babe?! This isn’t funny!” Haseul walks out the bedroom, scared, anxious while grabbing her phone to use as a flashlight. The whole home is dark, asides from the sounds of the storm outside, the house is complete silent. Just the white sound of the clocks ticking in the home due to Haseul’s thing for collecting old style trinkets.

“I see why he doesn’t like the clocks now…” Haseul slowly passes by a ticking clock on the kitchen counter.

BANG

A loud crash can be heard outside, a loud thunderclap startling Haseul, screaming like a ghost laid their hand on her shoulder which caused her to drop her phone on the floor. Haseul is squatted down on the ground, covering her head, bracing for potential impact. After a minute of silence other than the rain and ticking, Haseul realized no one is going to bonk her on the head.

“Damn it…” Haseul stands up and picks up her phone from the ground.

1:08 AM.

“It’s late, where could he be?” She stares at her phone then brings it up to shine the light forward but shines at a photo of both you and Haseul. She slowly walked up to the photo and picked it up, she can remember that day like it just happened. The beaches of Jeju Island, the smell of the salty beach water, the sounds of seagulls squawking in the background.

“May the lovely couple say cheese!” The resort worker gets a camera out preparing to take a photo of you and Haseul. Instead of a regular smile, Haseul wraps both her arms around your neck pulling you in to kiss you on the cheek while your face is completely surprised.

Haseul smiles at the memory, it was the first vacation the two of you took alone. She takes a deep breath before putting the photo back on the shelf where she picked it up from.

Kerchunk.

A key turning the front door’s lock can be heard, Haseul picked up a bat that’s leaning against the wall, turning off her phone and getting ready to swing. The door opens and a dark figure walk in, Haseul lunging in and screaming “NOT TODAY YOU BASTARD!”

“BABE?!” You watch your girlfriend prepared to take a hard swing at you, thankfully you ducked instead of being frozen, but it led to a newfound hole in the wall… With a baseball bat sticking out of it. “Haseul?!” You stayed on the floor in shock to your stressed-out girlfriend ready to behead you.

“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry!” Haseul drops to her knees, shocked from who she almost potentially decapitated. “The storm! You weren’t here! The dark! I’m sorry!” In classic Haseul fashion, she starts rambling on about the last half hour, begins to cry like a little baby, well… Your little baby.

“Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay, I’m here now.” You take your wet coat off and move next to Haseul taking her in for a hug. Haseul went from crying to straight up weeping. “DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE THAT!” Your crying girlfriend starts hitting you ever so slightly while you just sit there and take the hits.

Although you couldn’t help but smile.

After a while of trying to get Haseul to calm down, taking the bat out of the wall, and changing out of your drenched clothes, you finally get in bed.

The storm settled down. Real silence has come across your home, you lay down in your spot in bed while Haseul is sitting up scrolling through her phone, assuming to be Tiktok or Instagram. “Honey, come lay down with me.” You tug on Haseul’s shirt, but she ignores it as she’s upset with you for not coming home sooner or leaving any messages.

“Babe?”

“…”

“Honey?”

“…”

“Haseul?”

You took a deep breath and sighed; you knew you had to do it. Moving from your laying position, you sit up and wrap both your arms around Haseul’s waist, resting your head on her shoulder as your breath tickles her neck ever so slightly. Haseul’s straight face starts to break into a small smile as she loves it when you hug her from behind.

Haseul continues to scroll through her phone trying to ignore your presence, but you hold on to her tighter and started rubbing you nose into neck, tickling her even more. Haseul couldn’t resist anymore, she puts her phone down, turns and smiles. “Fine, you got me!” Haseul proceeds to wrap her arms around your neck and begins to assault you with kisses all over your face.

The both of you go down on the bed with Haseul now on top of you, the kisses turn into cuddling, cuddling turn into snuggling. “Try not to swing the bat every time someone goes through the door.” You continue making fun of Haseul for nearly beheading you earlier tonight, Haseul digs her face into your chest trying to hide from embarrassment.

“I told you! I was scared!” Haseul kicked her feet up in the air and started whining as her yell is muffled in your chest. “I know babe, I know.” You chuckle with a smile on your face, you then go on to stroke Haseul’s long brown hair, easing her to sleep. “Mmm, I like that babe.” Haseul is finally relaxed, being in your arms, laying bed with you.

She wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Goodnight Seulie, I love you.”

~~~~~

The chirps of birds can be heard loud and clear, droplets of water fall off the leaves of a tree standing next to the home. The sunshine gleams around the tree’s branches and leaves, birds flying off here, flying in there. The storm has long gone past, leaving a beautiful morning behind.

Haseul then wakes up in her normal side on the bed, slowly opening her eyes. She sits up slowly then stretches her arms out, letting out a loud sigh. After a nice stretch, Haseul looks over to your side of the bed. All clean, untouched, as if no one was laying down with her last night. “Another night, eh?” Haseul feels your pillow with a little smile before getting out of the bed and getting herself ready for the day.

The house was empty, just filled with photo frames and your favourite baseball bat. Haseul comes out from the bedroom dressed and ready to go out for the day, before doing so she goes to her desk and opens a notebook.

After spending a minute writing an entry into the notebook, she then goes on to grab her jacket that’s hanging on the wall next to the door, noticing that there’s no hole in the wall. Haseul smiles as she feels the wall with her palm, it’s like new, like as if it’s never been smashed in.

Haseul puts her jacket and boots on, opening the door and looking back in her apartment before leaving.

“I’ll be back, babe.”

Haseul left her apartment, greeting people in her community as she’s lived in the area for the last few months, with you and her just moving in recently. “Good morning Haseulie!” The flower vender by the building whom both you and Haseul has visited often over the time. “Good morning auntie Hazel!” An elderly woman tending to the flower displays outside the store greets Haseul as she enters the store.

“Off visiting?” Auntie asks Haseul as she’s taking a look at what today’s selection holds. “Yes unnie, I’m going to go see him today before seeing Jinsolie today.” Haseul finds a bunch of white tulips resting in a large bucket with water. “Unnie, can I get a batch of these?” Haseul points over to the tulips, where auntie walks over and grabs a few to wrap up.

“You’re a good girl Haseulie, I’m sure he loves you so much.” Auntie mentions as she wraps the flowers in wrapping paper. “Thank you unnie, I’m sure he would love to visit if he had the time.” Haseul smiled at auntie who is happily finishing the wrapping for the flowers. “Here you go Haseulie, don’t worry about it today. A gift from me to the lovely couple.”

Auntie hands over the flowers to Haseul, not taking “no” as answer. “Thank you unnie.” Haseul bids goodbye shortly after a small conversation.

The brown-haired songstress decided to take a walk to her destination today instead of taking her car, she deemed today’s weather to be perfectly breezy with consideration that it rained like hell just last night.

~~~~~

Haseul arrives at the front gate of the property and seeing the back of a very familiar raven character.

“How did you know I would be here?”

The woman in a black blazer and skirt, wearing high boots turns around hearing the voice of Haseul. “Because of the thunderstorm Haseulie, I know you always visit.” Jinsol says with attitude and a stare, quickly turns into a smile and goes on to hug Haseul. “I always want to be here for support.”

The two friends walk through the entrance of property, a cemetery ground. Jinsol looked around the grounds and sees a few couples and families coming by to pay their respects to their loved ones, just as Haseul is today.

Jinsol looks ahead where the gravestone is set but she sees someone in front of the stone. “Hey isn’t that…?” Haseul started running away from Jinsol, the closer she got to the grave, the more familiar the figure would be.

“YAH PABO!”

Haseul yells out, causing a little bit of a scene making Jinsol cringe as some bystanders are starting to stare.

“YEAH PARK MIN-JOON!”

Your head suddenly shoots up from a praying position to see Haseul marching towards you, to your surprise as you weren’t expecting to see Haseul here so early. “Hi babe?~” Your voice was little shaky seeing a possibly fuming girlfriend?

“Why didn’t you wake me up!?” Haseul puffs her cheeks up while she stomps like a child, while you stand in front of her and chuckle. You pat the top of her head while she’s puffing her cheeks out “You were sleeping so peacefully; I would have hated to wake up you.” Jinsol comes walking up rolling her eyes at the smitten couple.

“Jinsol.” You greet Jinsol after seeing how unamused she is, acting as the third wheel. “Where’s Daewon?” At that moment you realized you poked the wrong button. “Bastard’s shooting with Jiwoo right now.” Jinsol mentions under her breathe, you start to get nervous seeing that Jinsol seems a little irritated with the question.

~~~~~

After spending some time at the cemetery, you decided to drive Jinsol and Haseul over to the Modhaus building before going back to the library for your shift. “How’s things with Daewon lately?” Jinsol in the backseat definitely looks very unamused, Haseul doesn’t think anything of it as Jinsol and Daewon have been rocky since the group came back from tour in September.

“Why don’t you ask the bastard yourself.” Jinsol speaks with attitude, surprising both you and Haseul. “Is something wrong Sol?” Haseul asks while looking back at the angry little betta. “The bastard is too busy to see me, can’t even come for lunch or even visit the dorm. Idiot.” Jinsol starts ranting to herself, she’s so focused on her thoughts, completely ignoring that she’s in the car with the both of you.

“You know you and Dae can always get back together.” And at that moment, something snapped.

“I DON’T WANT TO GET BACK WITH HIM.” Jinsol explodes in the backseat, both you and Haseul shut up and just stare straight on the road. “Who cares that he spends so much time with Jiwoo. Jiwoo this, Jiwoo that. HMPH.”

Haseul has never seen Jinsol this livid before, neither have you.

The car ride has continued in silence before arriving at the Modhaus building. “Hey Sol, I’ll meet you inside, okay?” Haseul lets Jinsol go ahead first, which the Blue Betta just shrugs off since she thinks Haseul just wants to kiss you “goodbye” before leaving.

Both Haseul and you look out the window to see Jinsol walking in the building to make sure she doesn’t have sight of both you.

“We need a plan.”

Haseul just smiles at you.

-----

Think of this as a teaser for Season 2 of the MoonVerse, a prolouge if you wish. - CKF

[asexual-juliet]

sending ask about the outsiders as requested 🫡 i can't think of anything specific atm but am a big fan of your soc ryo works as you may have been able to tell by all my RBs of your soc ryo fics where i weep and wail and throw things in the tags. anyway consider this a free space to yap about any soc ryo things you want

i have been listening to never love an anchor by the crane wives and thinking about japanese american brill all fucking day!! screaming and crying!!

anyway he gets adopted by the brillsteins when he’s like three! his dad is like a lawyer or some shit and his mom is a stay-at-home mom and he has a big sister named sharon who is two or three years older than him

he is in LOVE with bev like they go on their first date in tenth grade and he comes back from it like “i think i’m gonna marry her 🥰” and chet is like “can you calm the fuck down for like a second” (chet is arospec in my headcanon but that’s not important right now)

am going to start coming up with and listing facts that i think are true about him. so: he has a peanut allergy. sometimes he lets bev put little braids in his hair. he loves the archie comics. he and chet have been best friends since they were like five. he is great at driving and loves doing it so he is basically bev’s personal chauffeur. he has a beautiful singing voice. bev is like an inch taller than him.

[jake-g-lockley]

Hello, can I request 21 or 24 with Steven Grant, with him needing comfort. Gn or male reader.

Fondness for Breaking Apart (Steven Grant x gn!reader)

Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Want to be tagged?

Prompts: “i didn’t know where else to go.” / “i didn’t have anywhere else to go.” and  “oh, god, i’m sorry about your shirt.” *shirt is drenched in tears* “it’s okay. i was planning on throwing it out anyway.” 

Warnings: Angst, mentions of Wendy Spector, brief mentions of Marc, drowning, animal attack, nightmares, anxiety attacks, injury and tending to injury, mention of abuse and trauma.

A/N: Hi there nonnie! Thank you so much for this ask. This episode of sad is brought to you by Atlee. Now, if you don’t know who Atlee is, good for you, keep it that way, trust me. But if you do know who Atlee is, bestie are you good?

Word Count: 1.3k

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Steven was frozen. All he could see was the water level steadily rising, and going past his ankles, knees and then hips. He tried to call out for someone, anyone, but he couldn’t, almost as if someone had stolen his voice from him. He almost forgot who he was and what he was doing there. 

He was in a cave and it was dark, except for a glowing scale directly in front of him. A toy alligator bobbed up and down the water and it soon turned into a real alligator, snapping its jaws at Steven. His eyes widened and he finally could move, but it was too late, the alligator was close and the water was up to his chest. He screamed and flailed his arms, trying to swim away, but it caught him, searing pain shooting up his body as blood filled his vision. 

Steven woke up with a start, trying to swing himself off the bed but his leg caught the bedpost and he went tumbling face first onto the hardwood floor. His heart started to constrict in his chest and he couldn’t breathe again, as if he had used all of his strength to scream. His whole body hurt and he was pretty sure his nose was bleeding as he took heaving breaths to settle his lungs. 

He was shaking and he couldn’t find Marc anywhere in the headspace. He sobbed, big globs of tears falling onto the floor, wondering why he had been left alone. He didn’t know what to do or say as he cried without a single sound. Another image popped into his mind and he reached out for it, focusing on it before deciding his next course of action. He crawled towards his door and used the shelf beside it as an anchor for him to stand up. He shakily pulled at all of the locks and flung the door open, stumbling across the threshold to your apartment, hitting your doorbell.

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You had been fast asleep but you were awoken to the sound of your doorbell. You glance at the wall clock which reads 1: 25 am and you slip out of bed, worried and confused. Maybe you had just been dreaming up the sound, but it didn’t hurt to check. You opened the door and caught a glimpse of your neighbour leaning against the doorframe. 

“Steven?” you said sleepily, and gasped as he lifted his head to look at you.

His dark circles were more prominent than usual, but his usually rosy cheeks were dull and slathered with tears, along with blood that trailed from his nose. He slumped forward and you caught him, supporting the back of his neck as he cried into the crook of your neck. You pull him inside and shut the door behind him, sitting down onto the floor and pulling him down with you. You didn’t ask him what was wrong, you just held onto him as his body shook and his tears dampened your shoulder. 

You noticed that Steven cried very quietly, almost soundlessly weeping in the most heartbreaking fashion. Remember how you train yourself to cry quietly so that your parents would not hit you and you tried to not let your memories get the best of you. You ran a hand up and down his back soothingly until he stilled and sniffed softly against you. Suddenly, a hiss of pain emitted against your neck and you pulled away hastily to see Steven touching his nose.

“Oh, Steven, let’s get you some tea and clean you up, yeah?” you said, standing up and pulling him up with you. 

He stumbled and you realised that he wasn’t putting any of his weight on his left leg. You knelt down and set his hand on your shoulder for balance, rolling up his pyjama pants to check his leg. Sure enough there was a huge bruise the size of your fist forming on his shin and you hissed at its size. 

You slowly stirred Steven to the soft plush sofa and went to put the kettle on and grab your supplies. You came back almost instantly and placed Steven’s leg up on a cushion and gently laid out your cold pack on it. Steven was looking down and you used your fingers to push against the underside of his chin, lifting his head up so that he was at eye level with you. 

You sighed and began to work, cleaning Steven’s nose with a cotton ball dipped in distilled water. Once cleaned, you noticed that the blood wasn’t coming from inside of his nose, but from the bridge of his nose where a small cut had formed. Steven’s nose was still dripping from when he was crying and you grabbed a few tissues and held it at his nose.

“Blow, softly.” you whispered. 

He did with a few hisses of discomfort and you examined the tissue for any sign of blood before sighing with relief. Tossing the tissue into your makeshift basket, you continued with your little assignment. Steven’s eyes twitched as you dabbed the area with a little bit of betadine before placing some gauze on it and gently tapping it down with medical tape. 

“I’m so sorry about your shirt.” Steven sniffed apologetically as his hand tried to brush away the blood, snot and tears that clung to the fabric.

“It’s alright Steven, I was gonna throw it out anyway.” you said, offering him a small smile to accompany your joke. 

You handed him the cup of tea and he sipped slowly staring into space. 

“I didn’t know where else to go…” he said softly and a tear ran down his cheek. 

“Steven, look, I’m always here and it's alright.” you said, wiping the tear away.

“I-i can’t find Marc and I don’t know what's going on.” the tears were coming down quick again and you jumped up onto the sofa and cuddled Steven as his breathing became more raggard. 

“Sweetheart, I’m pretty sure he’s still there. He’s just probably exhausted.” you said soothingly, rubbing Steven’s shoulder, hoping to god that Marc was still there for the sake of the both of you. 

“Look, why don’t we go and sit on the balcony for a while, yeah? I need you to take some deep breaths Steven.” You said and you led him towards the balcony and sat him on the floor. 

You laced your fingers with his and held onto him tightly as his breathing slowly evened out. He leaned on your shoulder as the both of you stared up at the moon, which was shining all bright and beautiful in the sky. 

“You know what Steven? There was an old wives tale about how if you lie on your mothers lap and look up at the moon, whatever you asked it would come true.” you mumbled, leaning your head against his. 

Steven stayed silent for a while as you both listened to the sound of traffic down below.  

“My mom was an abusive alcoholic, so I doubt she’d let me lie on her lap.” Steven casually chuckled thickly.

Tears filled in your eyes as you softly punched him, as your heart broke further at his situation you quickly rubbed away the tears that dropped out. 

“Lie on my lap, Steven” you whispered. 

“Huh”

“I said, lie on my lap.” you said a little firmer, confident with your decision. 

Steven gently lays his head on your lap and you bring your hand to his head to caress his hair. 

“Make a wish, any wish, and don’t tell me.” you said as Steven looked up at the moon.

He closed his eyes and wished that you would never leave him the way everyone did all his life. He nodded once he was done and you glared up at the moon as angry tears left your eyes. 

“If the moon doesn’t fulfill your wish, I’ll fight him myself.” you said, and you had a weird feeling that it was listening by the way Steven chuckled.

You continued to stroke his hair as the both of you sobbed away, absorbing the comfort from each other’s company. Only when he was asleep did you kiss his forehead whispering in his ear that you’d never leave him, promising him as you too laid down and stared into the night sky. 

Reblogs are appreciated~~~~

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