#i am way sleepier than i thought i would be by now so i just did this little ms paint doodle but im gonna do some more later tomorrow

[teethgrabberart]

may i hav, kurur......

you may :D

[slowd1ving]

THIS CHURCH SURE HAS WONDERFUL ACOUSTICS! ✦ . 　⁺ MALLEUS DRACONIA NSFW

“I just miss my friends, I guess,” you admitted, tracing your fingers on the hem of the shirt as you spoke. “I just want to hold someone I know and let my sorrows melt away.” There was a brief pause as Hornton tilted his head slightly in thought. “Holding someone, will it make you happy?” in which a dragon and a human find comfort in each other warnings: amab!reader but no pronouns, nsfw, hurt/comfort, sacrilegious, explicit sex wc: 5.2k

MASTERLIST ・゜・NAVIGATION

Cold night air swirled through the cracked windows of Ramshackle, stifling all hopes you had of a good night’s sleep. You could almost see your breath fogging up in the diabolically cold room; really, were you surprised Crowley hadn’t provided you with adequate insulation? Only Grim’s warmth at the foot of the bed gave you any semblance of heat - alas, it was simply not enough.

My toes are going to freeze off and roll away, you thought mournfully. Shivering, you stared up at the rickety ceiling, as if it would provide any other comfort. Slowly but surely, your thoughts turned away from Crowley’s nasty little shack he gave you to call home, and instead became retrospective.

Homesickness. It wasn’t just that you missed your room back home, and all the little oddities within. Friends. Comfort. You missed the casual touches of friends back home. The bone-crushing hugs you’d give, clinging on for dear life whenever you wanted. Holding hands with friends while hanging out; the skin-to-skin contact reminded you there were others with you.

Why did it have to end?

Sure, you had Ace and Deuce (maybe even Jack?) as your new chums, pals, bosom buddies, etc. It was nice to have friends in this odd place. But you longed for the familiarity that old friends carried; the lack of shared memories and touch with Ace and Deuce made them, quite frankly, mere acquaintances in your eyes.

Hollowness. That was what you felt at that very moment. It was unbearable. There were no tears to be shed, only a deep apathy for your situation. You supposed it wasn’t all that healthy, but it was probably your brain in shock.

What could you really do? Your teeth gnawed on your bottom lip as you shifted out of bed. You weren’t getting any sleepier, so the next best thing was to get some fresh air and maybe even water. Like a plant.

As you ambled downstairs towards the porch, you found your mind wandering to that boy with horns who often appeared by the porch of Ramshackle Dorm, who Grim had nicknamed Hornton. For whatever reason, the boy hadn’t taken offence to the name, though you supposed he did ask you to call him whatever you wished.

At least Grim hadn’t suggested something like Horny McHorn the Horned…

You shook the thought from your mind, mentally gagging. Would Hornton even be here at your porch tonight? A small part of your mind yearned for the comfort of another presence, even if it was someone you had only a handful of encounters with.

Quietly, you unlatched the front door (the poor thing almost keeled over with the slightest nudge) and slipped outside. Only the cold air greeted you; surprisingly, it was warmer out here than in your very bed (maybe it was the ghosts?).

Disappointment wormed its way into your stomach. It was silly. Hornton didn’t have an obligation to be here at all, so why were you feeling this way? You slunk onto the front step and sat down, wrapping your arms around yourself.

At least the cold air was slowly becoming refreshing? Or was this an attempt to gaslight yourself into making the most of this situation?

“Child of man, what has prompted your sadness?” a voice spoke from above, and you almost squeaked in surprise as you looked upwards to see the glowing eyes of Hornton.

“Hornton!” you scrambled to stand up, brushing off the rickety fragments of Ramshackle that no doubt clung to your sleepwear. “I thought you weren’t going to come.”

“I am here now,” Hornton’s patient voice seemed to have a touch of concern for your slightly dishevelled appearance. “Still, you have not answered my question. Would you like to talk about what ails you so?”

You met his eyes. His brows were drawn low in contemplation. It wouldn’t hurt to tell him, right?

“I just miss my friends, I guess,” you admitted, tracing your fingers on the hem of the shirt as you spoke. “I just want to hold someone I know and let my sorrows melt away.”

There was a brief pause as Hornton tilted his head slightly in thought.

“Holding someone, will it make you happy?”

“Yeah, it just reminds me I’m not alone?” the end of your sentence curled up into a question when you furrowed your brows trying to think of a good answer.

“Then-” Hornton took a step closer to you, gazing at your face. “-may I do the honours?”

Your eyes widened involuntarily. You hadn’t thought he’d actually volunteer to hug you, but it was a very pleasant surprise.

“Yes, please,” your voice came out a lot softer than you had hoped. He held out his arms (quite awkwardly, you had to admit). Your arms enveloped his upper torso, and your head fitted right into the crook of his neck.

You could feel his hands, almost fluttering with the amount of care he held within them.

“You can put them anywhere on my back,” you murmured with your eyes closed. A smile wriggled its way onto your face when you felt a light pressure on your scapula and upper spine. In response, you put more pressure into your hug, letting your strength create a comforting weight upon Hornton.

You felt him sharply intake air with the added pressure, before softening into your grasp. Sharp claws brushed over your back as he curled his hands slightly inwards to grip onto the back of your shirt.

He wasn’t cold, exactly, but he was pleasantly cool to the touch. Your body, pressed against his, could feel the rhythmic thump of his heart. Slow and steady. As you slowly breathed in, you could smell on him woodsmoke and what smelled like the wind during rainy autumn days.

Your hands slowly worked their way upwards before they settled higher on his spine, where his hair cascaded over your hands like an obsidian waterfall. You pressed even tighter against him, but not overwhelmingly so - whatever homesickness you had earlier slowly ebbed away.

Slowly, you began to pull away to take a breather. Hornton loosened his grip on your shirt and furrowed his brow at you before speaking.

“That was… nice,” Hornton stated. A rosy hue painted the tips of his pointed ears.

“Can I be selfish and request another hug?” Hornton continued, his eyes crinkling as he smiled down at you tentatively.

“Yeah, you’re really good at this,” you smiled back at him encouragingly, breath caught in your throat as he let out a little laugh. Burying the feeling, you pressed back into his body, allowing yourself to collect your thoughts before holding him tighter.

Who the hell allowed him to be so goddamn beautiful? You felt your pulse rise to an allegro. To make matters worse, Hornton wrapped his arms around you in a very similar manner that you employed when hugging. Such close proximity felt as though the two of you were becoming one.

Your heart almost jumped into your throat as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You could feel his breath fanning out onto your collarbone. Gleaming onyx horns jutted out past your shoulder; really, every part of Hornton was perfectly polished.

His claws brushed against your back once again as he held you closer. An inkling of understanding trickled through your brain; he was also desperate to be held. Tentatively, one of your hands left its post at his spine and carefully made its way to the nape of his neck. You cradled the back of his neck, running your fingers through the hair on his scalp.

His breathing rapidly quickened against your collarbone, and you felt his pulse sync up to your own, the staccato beats assuring you in continuing your ministrations.

How long had it been since he had been held? From the snippets of conversations that had been about him, you had gathered that he was generally feared by the student populace and distanced from the outside world; it was definitely a possibility that he was touch-deprived, especially if he was someone in a position of high power or responsibility.

In response to your own contemplation, you simply locked your arms around him, making sure the pressure around him wasn’t going to be unpleasant, but rather like a weighted blanket. You felt him relax even more into the hug, and you mentally patted yourself on the back.

“Child of man..” his voice brushed against your throat, and you felt your face heat up. Surely he felt your pulse spike upwards? You stifled your shiver and looked down upon him. Piercing green eyes focused on you as you nervously swallowed.

“Yeah?” Whatever hopes of sounding composed were dashed as your voice almost warbled. At best, it was just shaky.

“Thank you,” Hornton’s voice reverberated with pure sincerity against your sternum. He was going to be the death of you, you thought. You took it as a cue to slowly disentangle your arms from around him as his head slowly raised.

“Can I..” his voice was laced through with hesitation as his eyes searched your face for an answer, even before he finished his question. Heavy heartbeats resounded through your entire body as you waited for him to finish.

“Can I kiss you?” Pause. Blood rushed through your entire organism. You could almost count the number of capillaries extending through your body as you suddenly rushed into a state of transcendent awareness. Goddamn. You couldn’t think straight, especially since he was still holding on to you.

“It’s alright if-” his voice was cut off when your fingers curled around his striped tie (really, why was he still in uniform?!) and pulled him closer. Your other hand gently made its way to his chin to guide him to you.

You heard his breath stutter as your lips brushed over his. Distantly, you were aware of his hands choosing to cradle the back of your head. He really was adorable; you smiled into the kiss ever so slightly as you deepened it, feeling him stiffen marginally.

Hesitation was clearly present in his kiss as you guided him through it. Your pace was languorous to allow him to adjust, especially when you opened your mouth. Sharp fangs brushed over your tongue as he opened his own mouth for you. Good.

Your eyes squinted open slightly in shock when you felt his forked tongue. Holy shit. He clearly felt your surprise, since his grip on the back of your head suddenly became more solid and his movements a lot more confident. Seemed like he had adjusted. Your hand trailed from his tie and settled on his waist, pulling him towards you while simultaneously pressing yourself towards him so he’d step backwards. His back pressed against the sturdy beam of the porch, and you could feel surprise radiating at your boldness.

“Mmph-” you saw his eyes flutter open when he gasped slightly at the impact. Once again, you could feel the corners of your lips tugging upwards into a smile, and he felt it too, since you could feel his eyes burning into you.

You pulled back to take a breather, watching a string of saliva connect the two of you. He was enraptured with it, with his cool lips slightly parted in what could probably be described as awe as he watched the thread bridging the distance.

His eyes flickered back to yours, watching for any sign of discomfort. When he found none, he tilted his head slightly. A question. You leaned in, sealing your answer. But instead of his mouth, you tilted his head sideways and pressed a kiss to his neck, loosening his tie to allow for a canvas for you.

“What-” his question was cut off by an exhale of breath that was suspiciously close to a moan when you lightly bit his pulse point, sucking on it to leave a bruising mark. “Keep- keep going.”

You were going to do just that. A burning trail of marks made their way from right under his ear to his collarbone, accompanied by his slightly strangled breathing. Your knee found its way between his legs, almost subconsciously, but it didn’t pull away as he sank down onto it slightly. Goodness, he really was eager.

Then again, so were you. Your body pressed further into his to hear his irregular breathing. Your mouth continued its feverish ministrations. All to further fluster him. The smugness almost creeped out of your pores with how satisfied you were feeling at that moment.

You could almost feel him slightly moving against your thigh, desperate for any sort of friction. Pulling back, you gazed at him with a shit-eating grin (one that was quickly stifled). His eyes were half-lidded with a sultry gaze, lips glazed over with spit.

“Do you want to continue this?” you asked him seriously. When he nodded, eyes still slightly hazed over, you frowned slightly, leaning in closer.

“Use your words, pretty boy,” you commanded, tilting your head. His eyes met yours, the sharp green gaze slightly softening.

“Please, I want to continue,” he said with a touch of desperation. His eyes flickered between your heavy gaze and your slightly swollen lips. You felt that shit eating grin almost rise again within you at this powerful being reduced to such a state.

“Do you have anywhere we can go?” you inquired, gesturing to the rickety building behind you. No doubt it would probably collapse with any sort of frisky activity.

“Yes, actually,” with that, Hornton pulled you close to him and a cloud of warm fireflies obscured your vision. You couldn’t see much, only his comforting presence pressed against you.

“Call me Malleus,” his voice brushed against your ear as the two of you were carried off to who knows where.You could almost hear his smile as you shivered slightly. “I would like to hear my name out of your mouth when you cry it out.”

You almost felt your jaw drop with his audacity. Strangely, that name was really familiar. Malleus. Malleus? That Malleus? Your brow furrowed, making connections between the rumours of the terrifying Diasomnia housewarden and the boy with horns next to you. Ah. You had just wrapped potentially the most powerful mage in this school around your pinkie finger.

Still, it was bold of him to assume he wouldn’t be the one crying out. The fireflies slowly began to fade out, and you braced yourself for wherever Malleus had taken you.

Hold on.

Was this a cathedral? Your eyes surveyed the abandoned building. Under the watchful eye of the moon, shimmering stained glass patterns cast themselves onto the stone and marble friezes. Some of the roof was missing, leaving dust motes to swim around languidly in the harsh streams of moonlight.

The altar before you was covered in a pristine white cloth, unmarked by blemishes. Beside it was a vase of freshly cut lilies. Who could’ve-

“I come here to think,” Malleus admitted to you sheepishly. He looked around the building with you. “I’ve been trying to tidy it up a bit, but it’s secluded enough that it can wait. The acoustics here are wonderful.”

You weren’t even surprised. Although, sex in an abandoned cathedral was a first.

“How sacrilegious!” your eyes widened with mock-incredulity. You didn’t give a shit, in all actuality. Carnal desire began to pump within your veins. You grabbed his arm and pulled him to the altar, smoothing the edge of the cloth against what could only be stone.

“Allow me,” Malleus pressed a chaste kiss to the edge of your mouth before lifting you up onto the cloth. You stared down at him, slightly amused by his boldness. What could he be planning? Your questions were answered as he gestured to your pants inquiringly. Was he going to suck you off?

With deft hands, Malleus undid the ties that held the pants to your hips, before tugging them off and letting them pool on the stone steps beside the vase of lilies. You watched in surprise as he ravenously stared down your boxers.

“Eager, aren’t we?” you crooned, feeling the pressure on your thighs tighten as he gripped them. Your words didn’t seem to register as he swallowed audibly. The piercing thralls of desire suddenly consumed you; wordlessly, you hooked a thumb around the waistband and pulled them down, hissing as the cool night air hit the skin of your dick.

You watched him observe your movements with the gaze of a predator, lustfully looking at your exposed skin. This time it was your turn to swallow audibly as he bent down between your legs and pressed a cool kiss to the soft skin on the inner thighs. His flickering green eyes held your gaze and you felt your face heat up as he smiled.

You leaned back, pressing your palms flat against the altar to attempt to quell your lust. His eyes never left your face as he kissed the base of your dick. You fought the urge to bury your face in your hands when he thumbed the slit, spreading the precum along the head, eliciting a small gasp from you. Malleus’ fangs flashed at you as he opened his mouth to suckle the top of your dick.

“Fuck,” you groaned, shifting onto one palm as the other buried itself in his hair. You could feel a low rumble in his throat at the action, which in turn stimulated you further. He began licking in earnest; you thanked whatever ancestor it was that gave him that heavenly forked tongue. Malleus looked divine like this, with the pale impressions of the stained glass upon his body.

Without warning, he took you in his mouth. The sensation of the cool saliva enveloping your dick was almost enough to make you scream, and you grabbed onto one of his horns without thinking. The action made Malleus stiffen, before a deep groan emerged from his throat.

“Good boy,” you praised him as he took you deeper, thumbing the ridges of his horn. So. They really were sensitive, you duly noted. Your gentle ministrations along the edges of his horn, coupled with your praises, almost gave him heart arrhythmia with how fast his heart was beating. And he knew you could feel his pulse through your thighs, with the way you smiled at him with that look in your eyes.

He quickened his pace with his mouth, wanting to hear more of those gasps and praises from you. You matched his tempo with his horns, grinning as you felt more vibrations of his groans on his dick. Could you make him come from just this? Your second hand raised from the altar to set on his other horn, mirroring your actions. His eyes squeezed shut with the pleasure, and you could feel more saliva than usual.

“Fuck, Malleus,” you groaned when he took you all the way down. His name on your tongue sounded absolutely divine echoing within the cathedral, and his dick throbbed within the confines of his uniform pants.

“I’m going to-” you cried out when he hollowed out his cheeks, feeling so absolutely tight. You saw white as you came in his mouth, and felt him swallow as best as he could. Fuck. He felt unbelievably good.

The taste of you on his tongue caused Malleus’ mind to go haywire as you kept stroking his horns. He felt his own climax fast approaching; desperately, he squeezed his thighs together for any semblance of friction.

“You did so good, Malleus,” your thumb wiped up some of the fluid leaking from the corner of his mouth, driving him over the edge. He released into his pants, feeling the fabric soil.

Malleus let out a strangulated moan as your dick left his mouth, and you blinked. Once. Twice. Surely he hadn’t.. You gazed down at the wet spot slowly spreading across his pants and grinned. Seems your earlier question had been answered.

“Did you come untouched? What a desperate little slut,” you cooed, lifting his face to yours by grabbing his chin with your hand. At your words, for some inexplicable reason, Malleus felt his dick twitch once again.

You pressed your lips to his, tasting the salt on his tongue as he eagerly opened his mouth once again. You left him chasing after you as you hopped off the altar, grabbing his hips to prevent him grinding against you to relieve that need for friction.

“In all due time,” you murmured, pressing a quick kiss to the marks you made on his collarbones earlier. Malleus’ eyes followed your motions as you tugged off his blazer and unbuttoned his pants. You could feel the tension as you ran your fingers across his poised abdomen.

In one swift motion, you tugged down his pants, exposing his skin. Yippee. Your eyes traced his figure, noticing his gaze lingering on your hands.

“Do you want me to continue?” you asked, enunciating every word. His eyes snapped back to yours.

“Please, touch me,” he begged you. Something about his desperation lit a fire within you. Who were you to deny his wish?

“Open,” you gestured to his mouth. With a quizzical look, he complied, allowing you to place two fingers in his mouth.

“Coat them,” you grinned as he obediently sucked on your fingers. Oh, you were going to enjoy ruining him. You took your fingers out of his mouth, turning him around to face the altar using his hips.

“Bend over,” you instructed, guiding his hands with your free hand to rest on the altar. He’d most likely need the support. Malleus complied with your request, upper body tense.

“Relax, I won’t bite,” you deftly pulled down his boxers, hearing him hiss at the frigid air. You traced circles on his ass with your dry hand, before using your spit-covered fingers to tease at his entrance. “Unless you want me to.”

You heard him gasp as your fingers slid into his tight hole. The ring of muscle didn’t offer much resistance as you allowed him to grow accustomed to the feeling. A grin wormed its way onto your face as you saw the sheen of sweat on his brow. You didn’t even know fae could sweat.

Before you could ask him if he was adjusted, you felt his hips try to rock on your fingers. That wouldn’t do.

“Ah-ah,” you tutted, grabbing his hips with your free hand. “Not so fast.”

Your fingers moved agonisingly slowly inside of him, rhythmically pumping in and out so as to not allow him to release too quickly. With an absolutely devilish grin, you located that sweet spot of spongy nerves inside him, pressing it with enough pressure for him to moan uncontrollably until the very rafters of the cathedral echoed the sound back.

You didn’t allow him to climax though, pulling away everytime he was close. The sight of him, panting beneath your careful touches, made you unbelievably horny. His expression was one of desperation when he looked back at you.

“Please, fill me,” Malleus gasped out as he was once again denied release. Who were you to deny that cute face? You slipped your fingers out completely, hearing him whine at the loss. You grabbed his chin and worked at the buttons on his shirt while kissing him feverishly. Once his shirt was open, you loosened his tie completely before pulling away. You swiftly slipped your own shirt off your body, allowing Malleus to drink in the sight of your bare upper body.

“Get up onto the altar,” you breathed into his ear, feeling your self-control on the verge of snapping as he shivered from the warm air. He easily climbed onto the spacious expanse of the stone slab, with you following. Using your hand to press him down until he leaned back onto his back, you grabbed his tie. You deftly pinned his wrists above his head, tying them firmly but not reducing any of his circulation.

“What are you-” Malleus’ question was interrupted by your sweet kiss to the side of his mouth.

“Let me take care of you,” your voice was hushed as you trailed kisses across his chest, using your fingers to play with his nipples. He let out a strangled moan at the new stimulation, driving him closer and closer to the brink. Before he could use it to get off, you pulled away with that teasing smile. Damn you.

Your eyes never left his as you leaned in above him, and all he could do was shut his eyes as he felt your dick rub against his. The friction was unbearably agonising; every time he tried to buck his hips upwards, you’d laugh and push his hips back down, before kissing his chest once again.

With a final kiss, you slipped the tie off his wrists. Malleus was left blinking at this sudden change in attitude, before you entered inside of him and he swore he saw stars. His back arched at the intrusion and you greedily drank in the sight. His unrestrained moans were like a heavenly choir to your ears. He was right, the acoustics were unparalleled here.

Transfixed, you gazed at your dick entering him again and again. The sound of skin on skin, of his moans and of the wet sloshing sounds was growing too much to handle. Your eyes half-closed in the pure bliss you were beginning to approach.

Malleus’ mouth was half-open with pleasure, his mouth leaking drool. His eyes were glassy with pleasure, and you knew his time was fast approaching. Your hands deftly angled his hips so your dick would slam into his prostate dead on. With the first collision, his back arched and hole tightened around you.

White ropes of cum shot from his dick, splattering torso and your abdomen. Malleus let out a string of broken moans as he climaxed, the overstimulation from your constant well-timed thrusts causing tears to leave his eyes.

“Just a few moments longer, Malleus,” you leaned over him, supporting yourself on your forearms. His hole fluttering around your dick was slowly driving you to your climax, and that long awaited heaven was going to arrive very soon.

“Please- please don’t stop,” Malleus sobbed out, his claws scraping down your back. The pain made you hiss, but you were interrupted by the wave of pleasure soon after.

“Do you want me to come inside you?” you groaned out next to his ear. “Do you want me to breed you?”

“Please,” Malleus babbled, calling out your name; your vulgar language made his dick stiffen once again. You could feel him beneath you, and your hazy mind registered this with a great deal of surprise. Maybe fae refractory periods were a lot shorter? Regardless, this was something you could definitely work with.

The obscene sounds below you were doing a number on you. Your mind creeped towards that blissful, all-consuming state.

“Please come in me,” Malleus’ words, coupled with your name being moaned out, drove you over the edge. Your mind hazed over as his insides were splattered white. The sensation of your warm fluids inside him drove him to his own climax, and he bit down onto your shoulder.

The sharp tang of your blood and the salt of your sweat made his dick twitch, before releasing more ropes of cum. His moans were mixed with incoherent babbling and praises, which only added to your blissful state. You were only distantly aware of the throbbing pain in your shoulder, which also quickly gave way to an overwhelming pleasure.

Your hips came to a slow stop. Malleus’ hands grasped the nape of your neck and he pulled you in for a heated, sloppy kiss, still rocking his hips on your overstimulated dick, milking you for all you were worth.

“Fuck, Malleus,” you moaned into his mouth as he greedily kept the friction going. Your mind felt as if it were about to break from the pleasure, though you could last a while longer if he still wanted to keep going. You moved your mouth to his horns, licking a strip at the base using the flat of your tongue while he kept rolling his hips.

The obscene moans he was releasing echoed around the stone ruins. You feverishly worked to absolutely reduce him to a mess as you suckled on one of his horns and used your hand to pump up and down for the other one.

You could feel his back arch and his hips stutter to a halt as he came for the fourth and final time. Hot rivulets of cum streamed from his abdomen and pelvis, and down your legs. He wore an absolutely fucked-out expression, with tears streaming from his eyes, swollen lips, and flushed cheeks. His normally sleek hair stuck to his face, strands coated in sweat. You noticed the dried blood, most likely your own, remaining on his fangs as his mouth was parted.

You were sure your expression was also one of fucked-out bliss. You didn’t want to pull out just yet, so you admired his beautiful face as he slowly opened his eyes.

“You were so good for me,” you murmured, using a finger to trace patterns around his nipples and chest. He gently grasped your wrist with a shaky hand and pressed a little kiss to your inner wrist.

“I’m going to pull out,” you whispered to him, rocking back. The friction caused Malleus to let out another moan, and you wished for nothing more than to hear his sounds forever.

Agonisingly slow. That’s the pace in which you moved your hips outward, so you could observe the cum gush out of him. You could only hear heavy panting and breathy moans leave Malleus as your dick slowly exited.

You looked on in ecstasy as you finally exited him completely and a thick, steady stream of cum left his hole. Malleus whined at the loss of your dick filling him up. Almost involuntarily, your fingers scooped up some of the mingling fluids, his and yours, and held them out to his mouth. You almost moaned with how eagerly he lapped up the juices off your fingers.

You slowly made your way off the altar, wincing at the rush of cold air against your bare skin. Picking up the discarded clothes, you were transfixed by the sight of Malleus gazing at you ever so tenderly.

“You were beautiful,” Malleus reached out for your hand, shivering as you took it. Wordlessly, you kissed each of his fingers, then the back of his hand, with his eyes on you the whole time. You could say the same about him, with his pale skin dappled with the radiance of the stained glass, glossed with the sheen of sweat.

“Let’s get cleaned up, shall we?” you helped him sit up and slide down the altar, mourning the soiled altar cloth. A flurry of fireflies is all that remained in the ruins of the cathedral, and even then, they slowly winked out of sight.

The bath at Diasomnia was already drawn for the two of you. How Malleus managed it was beyond you, though it was probably his magic. Regardless, it was a relatively straightforward clean-up.

Tomorrow, when he goes to his lessons, he’ll walk with a slight limp. No one will be any the wiser, save those who notice his carefully ironed collar conceals odd bruising marks.

[twistedtavern]

I'm okay with a segmented WIP.

I patched it up, and I'm putting it in little segments, so it's in a publish-able state rn. Enjoy your long asf "pt 2"! I wanted to pad it out more so it flowed more smoothly, but this is all I can provide in my current state. I hope everyone who's been waiting since last year for this gets what they hoped for! No beta we die like Grim

CW: traumatic flashbacks, cannibalism mention (in a comedic way dw), existentialism (dereality? idk just to be safe)

Part 1! Part 3

~ Segment 1 ~

Jamil thought back to earlier this morning, remembering not fully registering his situation, reaching over for his alarm clock, only to be confused when it wasn't there. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, squinting into the darkness, and the realization sinking in that he was far, far away from Night Raven.

He heard a soft sound beside him, and looked to find you, wrapped up in his arms. You looked happy like this, with you safe and secure against his chest, sound asleep.

So it wasn't a dream...

He was finally here, able to hold you, talk to you, live here with you, love you with all his heart, free from the shackles of his past. It was strange, to think of the reality Jamil had been living even just the day before as 'the past', but that was the truth of it. His life was with you now.

Jamil looked back at the clock, seeing that it was only 5 in the morning. For someone who held his previous schedule, a very sensible time to wake up in the morning, but for a free man, an abysmal hour. He blinked drowsily, your warmth tempting him to lay back down and go to sleep again.

He snuggled up behind you once more, happily holding you close. The room was dead silent, the only sound coming from your breathing and heartbeat. The warmth he had felt before was far more subdued, but quite a bit stronger than when you would close the game before. It made him wonder, would he be able to feel your emotions more strongly now that he was actually in the same reality as you?

And so, Jamil laid silently at your side, simply enjoying your presence beside him as he zoned out completely. He had a lot to process, after all.

The seconds ticked by, then minutes, then an hour. The sun had just started to rise, and Jamil looked back at the clock. It was now 6 am, and Jamil didn't feel any sleepier. He was usually up making breakfast right about now, so maybe he should start his day.

Slowly slinking his way out of bed, Jamil took extra precaution not to wake you as he went to grab his bag. In a few short moments, he was all dressed and ready for the day, making some of the extra curry he had brought.

That was when you ran up to him out of the blue, startled by your realization of his presence, and insisting that you help him set up breakfast. And now, he found himself sitting in your living room. The air felt tense and restless against his skin, no doubt the effect of your racing thoughts. It had gone quiet between the two of you, neither knowing what to say.

" So..." you awkwardly began, " You're... alive. Like, ALIVE alive."

" What do you mean?" he asked.

" You're human, not like an imitation of a human, but a whole, full package person with thoughts and emotions and stuff."

" Of course I am."

" That's so... weird... I thought you'd be like HAL 9000 in there or something."

He made a face, " What? I've never heard of that. Sounds like some kind of evil robot..." exasperation showed in his voice as he deadpanned, " You don't really think I'm an evil robot, do you?"

You shook your head, " I mean... You were crying and cuddling me last night, so you seem pretty human."

Jamil looked away, " Didn't have to bring that up."

" That couldn't be fake. Unless you're like... a REALLY evil robot. Then I'm just screwed."

He seemed to grow increasingly tired of this, " Could we not talk about the different levels of evil I could be?"

You, having chosen violence this morning, decided to push it further, " So you're denying that you're evil, but not that you're a robot?"

" I CAN PASS A CAPTCHA."

" That's not saying much nowadays."

His tone flattened as he glared, " Now that I think about it, I didn't poison check that curry before I packed it," causing you to pause and simply blink at him, confused. Until you remembered just who the hell you were talking to as well as his extensive history with poisoned food. Jamil laughed while you spluttered and panicked at the sudden realization, and the almost cartoonish look of betrayal on your face only made him laugh harder.

You realized you had been tricked, and could only huff at him, " You might not be a robot, but you're just plain evil."

" I do what's necessary."

The betrayal gave way to immediate concern, " Scary response, please don't kill me in my sleep."

Jamil's voice went low and threatening as he purred, " Only if you behave.♡"

You almost launched yourself out of your seat at the timbre of his voice, " JEEZUS- Okay, now you're just TRYING to scare me!!"

He sat back, his flinch from the now-fading burst of mixed heat and cold wiping the utterly terrifying grin from his face, " Did it work?"

" I think I saw a vision of my untimely demise when you made eye contact with me."

" Good. Then I won't have to put you in the curry."

Jamil felt another, smaller, flash of cold as you wailed " YOU'RE GONNA EAT ME?!?"

" Hmmmmmm, no. I don't think you'd taste very good."

" Okay, FIRST of all, why did you have to hesitate so long on that- and SECOND, you could have at least said I'd be too sweet..."

" What, you want me to taste test you?"

" NOT WHAT I MEA- Wait. Hold on a second."

Jamil made a sound like what you would expect a question mark to sound like.

" Do you... work like some kind of vampire?? Do you have to eat people or drink blood or something to stay here?!?"

" What? No-" Jamil defended, before he went quiet. His concerned expression only deepened, " I... don't think I actually know the answer to that."

" YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE TO EAT PEOPLE OR NOT?!?"

" Well, shit, I HOPE I don't, because if I have to live as a monster I would have at least liked to have a big scary castle to go with it."

Completely unprompted and without hesitation came your immediate response, " Would you accept me as a sacrifice from the nearby village-"

" Yes." was his, also immediate, response.

You paused in embarrassed silence for a short while.

It was Jamil who broke the quiet next, " I do hope that I don't have to do any of that, though. But... what you said about me being human before..."

" Wait, you aren't?"

" Not technically, I guess. Watch," he closed his eyes, reaching up toward his face. You watched with unprepared curiosity as he began to scratch at the center of his forehead, eventually managing to catch on a seam and tug at the split. Your heart nearly stopped and your body froze as you saw Jamil pull back a perfectly even section of his own face, revealing a luminescent purple skin underneath. You took in a sharp breath.

"OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCK-!!!!!!"

A rapid, high pitched string of jumbled words erupted from you as you shot away like a spooked cat. The sudden cold and noise startled Jamil as well, the other sections of his face swinging completely open. He quickly moved to piece his skin back together, immediately going to comfort you.

" Hey- Hey! You're okay. I'm okay. You don't have to panic." Jamil reasoned, standing up to come closer to you. His hands touched yours, and he looked you in the eyes. Any trace of any sort of opening was long gone, and you couldn't help but to become overwhelmed with curiosity. Blinking owlishly, you reached for his face, your fingertips making contact with his cheek. Nothing felt irregular, and if you hadn't just seen what he just did with your own eyes, you would never have known.

" Hooooly shit."

Jamil leaned into your touch, " You do not want to find out how I learned about that."

The cold he had felt before faded, replaced with the pressing aura of your concern, " Is... Does it involve the others?"

" Yes. All of them, they've done terrible things. To each other, to themselves, but Malleus was the worst of them. They left me mostly out of it, but I think that's just because if anything happened to me, you would know immediately."

A horror, awakening deep within your bones, set into you. If Jamil was right, and you had no way of knowing if he was ever wrong, then you had spent months fawning and cooing over monsters, unknowing that they were alive, possibly watching your every move, listening to your every word. You clung to Jamil, seemingly the sole 'good' one, only because you had poured as much love into him as you had. He hugged you as well, clutching you closely in a safe embrace.

" But, we're both safe now." he said, letting out a breath as the cold left him. Jamil led you back to the couch, sitting closer to you than he had been before. You sat silently for a moment, gazing down at the floor. His soft smile faded to concern, " ...Are you okay?" he asked, " Did I scare you too badly?"

" I'm... No. I'm not really okay," you sighed, looking right at him with a seriousness he had never seen from you, " What happened in there?"

Jamil avoided eye contact, " A lot happened. That's a discussion for later."

" It's always later, Jamil! You're free now,  you can SAY things!" the budding warmth in the air began to feel as if it were beginning to sizzle against Jamil's skin, " It's not like anyone can tell you to shut up, because you're MAGIC and you can SPLIT YOUR FACE OPEN and jury's still out on you EATING PEOPLE and- and you're REAL, and..." your voice faded into panicked hyperventilating as you stood up, wrapping your arms around yourself as the swirling, uncomfortable heat made an almost sour tang in every breath.

Jamil wanted to reach out and envelop you in a tight, comforting squeeze, but he withheld himself. Comforting Kalim, he had done that his whole life. He knew its every in and out and tip and trick, but you... You weren't Kalim. You were scared, overwhelmed by things far out of his wheelhouse of what he is used to giving comfort for. But... he would try. That was all he could do, in this new world.

Especially for you.

You felt his hand gently come in contact with your shoulder, leading you back to the couch to sit down as he stood in front of you. He looked at you with one of the most comforting expressions you think you've ever seen.

" Listen..." he began softly, " Just calm down and let me help you make sense of it."

A worried, muffled sound escaped you, but it was quickly silenced by Jamil cupping your face in his hands and tilting your head down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

" Better?"

You looked up and let out a deep breath before nodding. The air seemed to settle with your heartbeat.

" Good. Now," he clapped his hands together, " The concerns. The face thing is normal, it doesn't hurt if I do it the way I showed you. I didn't mean to scare you when I said you don't want to find out, it's just embarrassing."

You nod again, as gullible and trusting as he thought you'd be.

" I'll be honest, I'm not sure if magic works here. I was able to get here with magic, but that doesn't guarantee I'll be able to use it now that I'm out," he paused to briefly think on it, " We'd have to test it somewhere..." the air was now quite a bit calmer than before, but he felt the need to continue, " And no, I'm not a robot. I'm not evil or a vampire, either. I'm just me. Happy now?"

You stood up and hugged him, and he sighed as he rubbed a hand along your back, feeling you ease up. A part of him thought you just liked listening to him talk, and he honestly didn't mind that.

A mix of a laugh and sigh of relief left you as you joked, " Usually the way things go when video game characters are alive is that they want to kill somebody. 5 times out of 10 that usually happens, so I had to check my bases, yknow?"

Now it was Jamil's turn to be concerned, " Wait, that happens? Is that just a common occurrence here??"

" Nah, just in scary internet stories. They usually suck." you laughed.

Jamil sighed in exasperation and squeezed you, " Don't scare me like that."

" What, like you did to me earlier this morning?" you teased.

" What, like you haven't gotten dressed all morning?" he gently tugged at the collar of your pajama shirt. Amid your surprised embarrassment, you could almost feel his smug expression behind your peripheral vision.

" Shit! I forgot!!" you let go and bolted into your bedroom, rushing to your closet to find something to wear. Jamil sat down and waited for you to get dressed, simply waiting for you to return.

~ Segment 2 ~

" Are you sure? Am I recognizable?" Jamil asked as he fussed with his hair. You had suggested that the two of you go to the park, just to get into an open space and test if things like magic and flight still worked on Earth as they did in Wonderland.

" Relax, Jamil," you soothed, admiring a particularly pretty hair clip, " Your game is a bit more on the obscure side, it's not like you're Mario or something."

He resisted the urge to tilt his head in confusion, " Who's that?"

" Oh. Guess I can't blame you for not knowing. You've probably got something wonky 'cause of copyrights," you mused to yourself.

Jamil sighed, " I don't get it."

" I've gotta show you all this later, we pretty much have... forever," you paused for a moment, letting that sink in, " ...wow."

Jamil went quiet for a moment, too, processing not only his new life situation, but the implication that you thought of this new arrangement as forever. He tensed. His own surprise at your willingness made him consider the alternative outcome, you not wanting him. Him being kicked out into a world where he knew nothing, his chest cold for what may be the rest of his life, having to make it with what he managed to steal from his old world. Jamil swallowed thickly, his fingers beginning to fidget as he considered the possibility.

" Hm...? Jamil, what's wrong?" he jumped slightly as he heard you ask.

" W-What?" he turned to face you, failing to entirely conceal his emotions before your brow furrowed, " Nothing's wrong."

" Jamil, you're from an anime game. You're a lot more expressive than you think," you said, giving his head a loving pat, " You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I wanna know what's bothering you."

He placed his hand over yours, giving it a slight squeeze as he avoided eye contact. His silence hung for a few seconds before all he could do was shake his head no. Your features softened, and you moved to gingerly cup his face with both hands, " Hey. I love you, okay? I'm not gonna love you any less any time soon, and that's a promise."

As you leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead, Jamil felt a bloom of warmth in his chest, and when your lips connected, it felt like a circuit had been completed between your heart and his. His insides swirled with the tingling softness of butterflies, and it felt like you had taken all the thoughts that troubled him and muffled them with a big, warm blanket. Jamil wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to bury his face in your shoulder. You leaned into it, embracing him in turn and shifting your body to support his, slowly rubbing up and down his back for good measure.

Eventually, the tension in his shoulders was released with deep, shaky breaths. You knew those, those were about-to-sob breaths. Jamil felt you give him a squeeze, and his next breath was steadier. He took in another one, and quietly said " Do you... Do you promise it'll be forever?"

" Well, I mean, unless you get tired of me. You're uh... kind of way out of my league." you muttered, internally wincing.

He squeezed you tighter, and the rhythm of his breathing hiccuped slightly with the barest hint of exasperated amusement, " I crossed the boundaries of realityto be here. I wouldn't let myself get tired of you."

Relief flooded you at the feeling of the situation lightening. You gave him a little pat, " That's good. Do you want me to hold you a little longer or are you all clear to go?"

Jamil considered pulling away, but he just felt so warm in your arms... maybe it would be best to stay. He shook his head and clung to you, easing when he felt you get comfortable in his embrace. You sighed contentedly, " Aww, you're just a big lovey snuggle bug after a-"

" A BUG???" he cried, suddenly completely upright. You felt that if you hadn't already been holding him, he would have jumped into your arms like a cartoon character.

Startled by his outburst, you rushed to soothe him again, " No no no- not an ACTUAL bug. No, Jamil, you're okay. You're safe. There's no bug," you assured, guess you have to be more careful with your terms of endearment.

Jamil sighed in that exasperated way he always does, and instead of just moving on, you stayed stubborn in wanting to call him snuggly. He is clearly not a bug, so he was...

You beamed once the answer, an admittedly obvious one, came to mind, " You're a snuggle snake!"

Jamil looked at you with an indiscernible expression for a brief moment, before the most adorable smile you had ever seen broke out onto his face, and he started to laugh, the sound genuine and happy. You couldn't help but to start laughing alongside him. Your joy fueled his, and his fueled yours, making a beautiful cycle of laughter, warmth, and feelings of butterflies between you both. It pushed his worries away like pesky rain clouds, and made room for sunshine. Not the blistering hot sun of the desert, but the soft kind of sunshine in children's rhymes and storybooks. At that moment, the two of you were inseparable, and that was all he needed.

It was this kind of happiness that he was so unaccustomed to, this light brightness in his heart that melted him softly from the inside, even as the laughter died down. He looked at you with a soft smile, " What am I ever going to do with you?"

" Maybe come to the park with me, for starters," you teased.

Jamil conceded, " Alright, alright. I'm ready to go now."

You turned to walk towards the door, but out of the corner of your eye you saw a bit of movement. You looked and saw Jamil's hand trying to discreetly reach for yours, but your next step put enough distance between the two of you to make him give up the chase. But before he could lower it to his side, you turned to reach for it. You took his hand in yours, and Jamil felt his face heat up, as if the two of you hadn't just been all over each other. The feeling of connection through the touch returned, the pulse in your fingers meeting his and coming to share its pace.

You led the way as you went to grab your wallet and keys before heading out the door, Jamil shyly falling into step behind you. Once you left the apartment and locked the door, Jamil began to look around, curious about his new surroundings. His expression held a bit of innocence to it, and it almost looked to you like a puppy poking around its new home.

Once you reached your car, you noticed that Jamil was looking at it with a thoughtful expression, his head tilted ever so slightly to the side.

" Something on your mind?" you asked gently as you moved to unlock the door and get in the car.

" Ah- Well..." he took a moment to find his words as you opened the door for him from inside. He got in and simply said " I'm just not used to things looking like... this."

You looked at him quizzically for a brief moment before realizing what he meant. You couldn't help but laugh, " Looking like something that's not worth an entire country?"

It was plain to see that he was doing his best to be polite about it, but it was easy for you to put two and two together. Judging by how he looked away, you knew you were right.

" Yeah... I guess I'll just have to get used to it," he admitted, " But at least I have you."

Having been caught off guard by his soft, sincere tone, you tried to hide your flushed face, the butterflies in your stomach stirring. He smiled sweetly, unable to resist how cute your reaction was. 

The car soon rumbled to life, and Jamil looked out the window, eager to see his new surroundings. You couldn't help but smile. It was nice, seeing this new side of him and knowing you brought that out. You turned on the car radio, switching between stations until you reached one that fit the mood. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Jamil look over at the radio, accompanied by a small 'hmm', before he resumed looking out the window.

But, as the scenery passed by, he laid eyes on a sight, a scene as common as they come, but one that filled him with a deep, all-consuming dread. Old voices filled his head, memories that could never be buried, for they laid the code by which he lived.

" Jamil! What are you DOING?!? Put that away before Kalim sees!"

A family. A mother and father, clutching the tiny hands of their children as they strolled merrily down the sidewalk.

" For every two you win, you must lose three."

A single thought crossed his mind.

" Quit your crying, you have to go cheer Kalim up. I know it scared you, but it's your duty."

What had he done?

They were going to face punishment, be thrown out, or worse. He ran, and they were going to suffer for it. His family was doomed, and it was all his fault. Jamil didn't register the sound of your voice from beside him, caught up in the downward spiral, a spiral so familiar it almost felt natural.

" Jamil!"

He snapped to attention, looking over at you with wide, teary eyes. Your expression turned to one of surprise, and before he could wipe away the evidence of his thoughts, the car suddenly turned sharply. Jamil clung to the door beside him as you practically swung the car into a parking spot, stopping immediately. The click of your seatbelt came from beside him, and soon he was being smothered with affection.

" Are you okay? What's wrong?" you asked, your voice urgent but gentle. He could feel what he could abstractly label as a mix of your concern, your protection, and your love, all rolled into one. Jamil was still reeling from the sudden stop, but he clung to you the first chance he got.

" You... you stopped? For me...?"

" Of course I did! I couldn't just keep going! Now tell me what's wrong."

At first, he couldn't get the words out. But, the sincerity in your eyes compelled it out of him, " ...I guess I'll have to get used to that, too."

" It's just the two of us. I'll always stop and make sure you're okay," you assured. And, for a moment, you couldn't help but to see the boy that had been hidden and repressed under years of responsibility and terrible treatment. There was something in his expression that brought a protectiveness to your heart, and you wrapped your arms tightly around him, " You're with me now. I'm not gonna let anyone treat you like that again!"

You leaned in to give him a kiss on his forehead before looking him in the eyes, cupping the sides of his face in your hands. He put one hand over yours instinctively, leaning into the touch as if he were trying to hide his face in your palm. Jamil couldn't look you in the eye anymore.

" Would it be better if we got to where we were going first?" you asked softly, and when he nodded, you pressed your forehead to his in understanding, " That's okay, just hold my hand while we go."

You put one hand on the shift and the other on the wheel, feeling Jamil's hand settle on yours as you got back on the road.

It didn't take long to reach the park, casting furtive glances at Jamil as you went, and soon you came to a stop.

~ Segment 3 ~

You clung to Jamil with all you had, the only thing keeping you from falling being a thin rod of wood and magic you didn't know would even work until now. He had one hand on the shaft of the broomstick, his other arm over yours to comfort you.

Jamil took a deep breath in, savoring the sweet night air. The stars overhead were shining so brilliantly, reflected in his dark irises that looked at you with nothing but gentle wonder. The glass was no longer shimmering between the two of you, any and all barriers to your touch removed save for the clothes on your back. His face heated and he pointedly looked down to avoid the thought. But it brought a question to his mind, was this what he imagined this to be? This freedom, the loss of everything that had shackled him in his brief years of life? He looked back at you when he felt your death grip on his torso loosen, and he realized that no, for all his knowledge and experience and hopes, he could never have imagined a feeling so blissful and truly splendid.

To not only be loved and understood after a lifetime of hiding, but to love and to understand another, it was unparalleled. Soaring through the sky with the only person in this world and the world before to know him, truly know him, with their arms wrapped tightly around him, trusting him wholly with their being, there was no crime he could commit that he would regret should it be required for their safety. Jamil tilted his head back, resting gently against you.

" Is this scaring you?" he asked softly.

" Are you kidding? This... this is amazing! You're amazing!" came your breathless response.

Jamil's face heated, " I-it's just flying..."

" Jamil, it's MAGIC! I never even thought that was possible!" you exclaimed, smiling as the wind whipped at your clothes.

The sound of your disbelieving laughter and the feeling of your arms locked around his chest made him almost dizzy, and he felt glad that you were positioned behind him, or else you would have seen his flustered face. It was embarrassing, feeling like some love-drunk cartoon character whenever the warmth surged in his chest. He was usually good at not showing his emotions, but he couldn't keep the puppy-love smile off his face.

You buried your face into his shoulder, smiling brightly. Everything felt perfect, like riding off into a happy ending's sunset. Jamil had successfully managed to save you from a fate in the hands of his treacherous peers, and got to stay in this new world with you forever in return.

There was nothing that could spoil this. Absolutely nothing in this world, and this world specifically, that could be going wrong. Certainly not at this very moment. It's not like they could come through the connection that you and Jamil had absolutely closed permanently.

Or that one already had.

Jamil's brow suddenly furrowed slightly in thought, " Wait... We severed the connection, right?"

You looked at him, " What connection?"

He looked back at you, a horrific sinking feeling in his stomach, " We got rid of the game, right...?"

You thought for a moment, dread creeping in for you as well, " No... You just shut the phone off."

A terrible, freezing feeling stabbed through the two of you, the icy chill of fear.

In your humble little home, an intruder began to stare down the reflection of his own red eyes in a knife he had grabbed from your kitchen. An old friend of his had once told him not to touch knives, thinking that he could hurt himself.

Too bad he never would have thought he would be hurting someone else.

~ Segment 4 will get its own post because I hit the word limit ~

[aqlthoughts]

manifestation journal entry #1

fair warning, this is a long post and a very rambly one at that.

i was recently introduced to the sedona method by some members of the loa community on discord. from what i've gathered, the method is supposed to essentially help us learn to let go and just be. this is something that i have been struggling with since i've started to consciously apply the law. i just can't seem to let go with the bigger things that i want to call into my life. i want to be able to though. i don't want to wake up anxious anymore. i've started reading the book by hale dwoskin to see if i can reach a better understanding of my own limiting beliefs and negative emotions surrounding my manifestations.

i feel like i had a mini ah-ha moment since i started reading it last night. i woke up early this morning and couldn't fall back asleep, so i decided to read the next section of the first chapter where it talks about diving deeper into whatever negative emotion we're experiencing. to dive deep until we reach peace. reading the book actually made me feel sleepier xD so i did end up putting it down to sleep for a little bit more, maybe around 30 minutes.

i do believe that dreams can potentially reveal a limiting belief that you're holding onto. that is what happened in this case, in my opinion. to give a little backstory, one of the things i'm manifesting is a stable and healthy relationship with my boyfriend. we're currently no contact after a situation. we're not broken up, but we just haven't been talking at all while we take time to ourselves. this has been a sore spot for me for the past almost two months. by the way, if anyone has any advice for dealing with no contact situations, i'd greatly appreciate it because it does hurt a little to log onto discord to talk to my friends and not see anything from him.

i've been having trouble with detaching from this. it feels as if my thoughts keep coming back to this and i occasionally feel a wave of anxiety over it. i've mostly gotten over the feeling of having to do something for it. yet, i still struggle with detaching entirely. what i dreamt of after reading a little about the sedona method revealed what was holding me back. it was a limiting belief imposed on me by my mother. according to her, 25 is much too old to not be married. on top of that, i've been dating my boyfriend for eight years now (although she thinks it's only been five). to her, it's too late for me to start over with someone else.

that dream made me see that this is something i believed in and the reason for why i was holding on so tightly to this manifestation. instead of detaching from it because i know that i already have it in the 4D and that the 3D ALWAYS follows the 4D, i was holding onto it as if it could give me some semblance of control. at the root of it, i felt like loosening my hold would lead to loss. i would lose him and no one would want me because i'm too old. girl, that's so dumb! i shouldn't be holding onto my boyfriend because i have this silly belief that i'm too old to find love after him. i'm only 25 and this is the united states. most of my peers aren't any closer to marriage than i am. hell, i have friends who haven't even ever had relationships. if i chose, i could always find someone else. it's not impossible. i'm not too old. it's also not necessary for me to be married right now. the thing is that that's not even what i want. i don't want to be married right now.

with this knowledge, i'm slowly relinquishing my hold on the manifestation and allowing myself to just be. i am letting go of the assumption that it's much too late for me to start over and be in a relationship with someone else. now, it doesn't mean that i'm no longer assuming a state that my boyfriend and i are in a better relationship. it just means that i'm not going to work myself into a bundle of nerves and stressing about what i'm doing for that manifestation. it's just being. if i were in that state, i wouldn't be stressing over whether i'm too old to find someone else or that i should be married by now when i don't even want it.

this wasn't quite what the sedona method taught. i haven't quite reached that peace that the book talked about, but it's a start. i also know that there's a chance this doesn't make any sense to anyone else but what matters is that it does to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

if you read this far, thank you! i've heard about the law of assumption years ago, but never really practiced it. i did a shoddy attempt at conscious manifestation about a year ago by only binging youtube videos and tiktoks. i finally got to reading source material like neville goddard a month ago. i've recently decided it's time to ACTUALLY put it to the test instead of just consuming information every day and not doing anything but wait. if any of you would like to become friends or want to talk to someone about the law, don't be afraid to reach out! i'd love to get to know more people who practice the law of assumption.

[xaospoiesis]

Year 29 

this is a projet I started about experiencing the last year of my twenties, trying to cope with it I suppose. I had it go up to my 30th birthday (then started a new one for the first year of my thirties because I'll only be thirty once). It's a bit long, almost a year after all, but here goes, I guess. I tried to keep it the way I wrote it in the first place (up to the little explicative text in the beginning that I wrote when I started it)

(Writing a line a day about my feelings until I turn 30, yeah I’m late (April 27th) bc I just thought about it fuck it), I will forget days so it won’t be like a full year but doing each day without missing would be inauthentic wouldn’t it?

2023

April.  

2704 - 29 years old, 1 month, 7 days and I still cannot fathom that I’m alive. 

2804 - I could run through a wall and it would have a hole shaped like me, that’s how insane I feel today.  

2904 - I feel incapable of doing anything and that is a problem because I have many things to do.

May.

0405 - forgot this existed, wish I forgot I existed too. 

0505 - I feel nothing good yet nothing bad, it’s not nothing at all yet but it’s close. 

0705 - technically I am a mermaid. no I shall not elaborate. 

0805 - I want to do the things I am supposed to, but I cannot bring myself to do them, so I am here, eternally in limbo, eternally distressed by my own lack of movement.

0905 - sometimes, being alive right here, right now surprises me, not in a good way, just in a way. Earlier today, I felt real, that’s gone now. I’m floating again. 

1005 - I am sleepier than ever yet I cannot go to sleep at night, ironic. 

1105 - it irritates me that I need something to regulate my life so I can just function, why can’t I just free rein it without crashing and burning? 

1205 - I can’t tell the passing of time so it feels like i’ve been unsure of my feelings for days and forcing my thoughts out when I’m not sure I have any. 

1305 - I am overwhelmed by life, by the people in it, by my incapacity to cope with it all and most of all by the crushing weight of existing in a capitalistic society. 

1405 - I am stressed out and hating it.

1505 - I am trying (or maybe I am not) and I am so not succeeding. 

1605 - I forget sometimes, that it isn’t about win or lose when it comes to mental health issues. It’s a matter of compromise, of fluctuations, of resilience too. 

1705 - I do not know, things are stable and stable is scary sometimes.

1805 - I think I caught a cold and I’ve done some work but I feel it isn’t quite enough.

2105 - I’m not sure anything is happening but things should be happening right now. 

2505 - In moments of quiet, there are no words, no movement and that’s it. Almost peaceful I’d say. 

June.

1406 - There’s a disconnect between me and reality, and now, and here, and I’m not sure I want to write anymore.

1606 - time just seems to not move anymore. 

1806 - it’s okay, it’s all chill. 

2106 - ripped the skin off my finger by accident and this is honestly (insert saying about being at your limit).

2506 - I don’t know, I just feel sour. Annoyed. Annoying. 

2906 - feelings are fluctuating and yet nothing is actually felt. 

July.

0507 - I was well and then I wasn’t, just like that, feelings hit me like a freight train and I want to cry, I’m not sure why. 

1007 - so for a while I felt that maybe there was no point writing anymore, I don’t know if I’m out of it yet but hey, doesn’t matter. 

1107 - there it is, the weight in my chest I don’t have a name for, that I have to feel and can never explain or else it isn’t real.

1807 - I tell myself “this too shall pass” but this has not once passed, years of it, maybe born with it, dull, incomprehensible sadness.

2107 - again the feeling that I won’t last very long in this life. 

2307 - I sort of don’t see the point of talking anymore, responding, giving opinions, existing loudly. 

2907 - it feels insignificant, to live, to move, to laugh. 

August.

0408 - one of my most repetitive thoughts is “and I’m sad again”, often after days and weeks of the same exact state of mind.

0708 - I’m just sad about being a little sister whose big brother doesn’t feel like one, and it isn’t his fault nor is it mine, life just happened that way, but I hate that I can’t call someone older and confide in them and trust them. 

1008 - the loneliness is godawful sometime, but familiar, a daily occurrence, something regular. 

1208 - what a strange yet gripping feeling, the one of knowing that the end is nearer than one would expect.

1308 - there’s just such a slowness in summer, and it isn’t enjoyable, I wish I was doing something because I feel like I should, not because I want to. 

1808 - I’m kind of baffled that I have to hide about 85 to 90% of myself from people who call themselves my family. 

2208 - I tell myself to be happy so often, yet can never obey, it’s a weird, weird life this one. 

2708 - the thing with being so alert all the time, is that I forget that sometimes nothing is going on, sometimes, it is okay to not be worried.

September.

0109 - it is absolutely unfathomable that this is the last year of my twenties. And what have I done with them? Not much. I’m scared. 

0509 - it’s too hot to even think coherently.

0609 - my whole soul is shaky, with sadness, with unshed tears and maybe the anxiety is trying to choke me down, I don’t know.

1309 - and all I want is to quiet down into oblivion so that I can’t say something stupid.

1409 - I grasp at air, hoping it’ll be meaning that I’ll catch instead, for life and all the things a person has to go through that can make them a person, and maybe when I do, I can stop fretting.

1809 - yes, everyone has their own things, but I do feel like others’ things seem to be heavier, more important than mine and sometimes, it hurts just a little.

2509 - I don’t know about wanting to share my writing anymore, if I want to or what it makes me feel, I don’t know anything at all.

2709 - I know my body is here, real, but the rest of me, the invisible, is floating, rooted nowhere and it isn’t nausea I feel, not in my body at least, it’s my soul that’s nauseous and I don’t know how to explain it in any other way.

October.

0310 - I spent all day internally screaming at myself to get my assignment done, and yet I don’t move. 

0510 - perhaps I should stop thinking about death this much, but I have no control over those thoughts, they present, then impose themselves and then, swift as the wind, they leave me but their shadows remain. 

0710 - I just remembered one of the times I had to talk myself down from a panic attack and it kind of sucked, because I had to be the calm and the panic all at once. 

0910 - It’s one of these days where the energy outside of my body is as tainted with absolute chaos as my inside, and I realize I find some sort of joy in it.

1510 - this is a week that makes me look at some people with disgust and fear, because the cruelty of their words and their beliefs is beyond my comprehension.

2210 - there’s this feeling sitting in my chest and I think it’s anxiety and it just won’t pass, yet my brain knows it shouldn’t be here.

2410 - today’s a good day, I think, am I terrified still? Yes. Is it as overwhelming as usual? No, it’s a good day. 

November.

0611 - isn’t strange? The rot I feel in my veins from existing in this moment and having no way to do anything about it.

1211 - I feel fairly gloom today, had a small reprieve last night, and now we’re back on schedule I suppose. 

1411 - it’s weird to be so aware of my disconnect to reality,  not all of reality, mostly my direct surrounding reality, but still, as aware as I am, I still am widely unable to reconnect to it, even if I painfully need to, want to even. 

1711 - I don’t know, I don’t know if it’s the cold I caught or the existential dread that’s making my chest tighten today

2011 - felt like my eyes were too heavy for my head today and there was no way to alleviate it.

2411 - they’re giving Palestinians in Gaza four days of truce and acting like it’s an act of mercy after 48 days of genocide, I can’t fucking comprehend it.

2511 - I hate that the idea of going to class on Monday squeezes the life out of my chest and makes me want to drown.

2611 - I don’t feel alive today, not dead either, just in between two negative states.

2811 - I have this feeling I’m going to crash and burn because I’ve left all the things I need to do to the last minute.

2911 - it is ridiculously easy to distract me from important and pressing matters, I fear myself when I cannot prioritize, important matters can’t seem to be of importance for me.

December.

0512 - the sky is depression grey now, which only announces weeks of my thoughts fist fighting one another.

0612 - I have the irrepressible rage in my chest yelling a little loud today.

1012 - day to day life has been mind numbing, the past four days have been a blur, I am tired. 

1512 - the sun is setting and the sky is a pink hue, for just a few minutes, all is well, all is beautiful, I wish it was always this way. 

1612 - there’s simply such ease in being quieter, less pain there.

1812 - it is kind of funny that I am more invested in socially isolating myself than other more important things, and it’s not even fully intentional. 

2512 - it’s Christmas, I feel nothing at all, the world is on fire, nothing makes sense.

2024

January.

0201 - so I forgot I existed and I could write for a short while, and I can’t seem to want to do a thing.

0601 - I am tired but today I am not worried, it’s a tired that solely rests in my flesh, that doesn’t creep into my mind. 

1501 - time is passing and I don’t perceive it, all I feel is this dullness in my chest.

1801 - I just want a little bit of peace, I’ve abandoned the idea of grandeur. 

2301 - I just feel gloom, and yes I do feel that a lot, it’s true, I guess being alive these past few days, weeks even, feels a little harder. 

2401 - I do not care, or I can’t bring myself to do so, not sure. 

2601 - I do not know what I feel, but it is something shaking, something unsettled, something screaming. 

2701 - and so I feel like I am not acting truly like myself, or that who I am is someone I do not like.

2801 - at some point today I was worried, it isn’t the case anymore, and I can’t recall where the weight on my chest was coming from.  

2901 - sometimes hearing mind numbing nonsense doesn’t feel worth it, I guess that’s what it’s like to simply be alive these days. 

February.

0302 - I wish I was just done with it, whatever it is I have sitting in my chest right now. 

0502 - I’m not rushing to reconnect with my intellect because there’s nothing to grasp, I feel a little stupid.

0702 - I still feel disconnected from everything and maybe I am partially sabotaging myself.

0902 - Last night was so confusing, because I wanted to jump out of my skin and couldn’t figure out why, and today none of that is left, nothing is felt at all, actually. 

1202 - everything is so overwhelming right now, change is everywhere and I simply struggle to adjust to it all. 

1502 - I think maybe I’m feeling under stimulated and it’s a little too hard to stay anchored because of it. 

1802 - I do a whole lot of nothing in a day and end up exhausted and unable to think straight. 

2102 - less than a month before the end of this, what a strange thing. 

2402 - I cried today because my uncle is dead but I can’t pinpoint the exact reason, I was just sad I suppose.

2602 - I’m overwhelmed and hopeless about it, I wish I could just not give up but giving up is easier. 

2802 - I am honestly not seeing the end of this semester, but I also know that it’s just the stress making my vision tunnel.

2902 - It is quite funny that the shortest month of the year feels like the longest.

March. 

0103 - Just because I want it, doesn’t mean all will be well and that’s a bit tragic. 

0803 - Life’s a blur and I think the amount of stress I’m under is definitely messing with my system.

0903 - my stomach, my heart, something fell in my chest and reached the bottom of my feet and I can’t pick it up. 

1103 - this is going to sound ridiculous, but I just want to genuinely laugh and smile, just be happy.  I want to be happy.

1503 - I wish I was just shamelessly myself, but I don’t know how to be that. 

1803 - there really isn’t any reprieve to the big feelings, they shake me, decide for me, act for me.

2003 - so this is thirty. 

[nazmazh]

I don't know that I necessarily "write" in a publish-worthy sense.

I just know that since starting adhd meds, I've definitely had more useful energy - And while the first few weeks, I was busy with moving into my new place (and actual room a couple of weeks later, due to some final renovation hiccups), and then going out of town for my friends' wedding.

Once I got back home and had the time, my creative output has been re-sparked! I've been sitting down and writing up D&D character ideas, including backstories and world-building, or making minis of them in Hero Forge (because I can't art) pretty steadily since then.

(With a brief pause because someone tried to hack all of my online accounts and only succeeded in deleting my tumblr, so I had to remake and try to get everything back to functional here. Frustrating, but could've been a lot worse if they got into any account that has access to money, or controlled access to other accounts)

Anyway, even putting in the groundwork to organize things so that it's easier for me to systematically go through my plans, rather than just jumping from idea to idea (which I still do from time to time, but I don't forget what I was originally intending to do, as much) is much easier now. Tasks don't feel like it's all-or-nothing anymore. I know that breaking tasks into smaller chunks has always been a strategy to help manage with the ADHD, but I'm much better at actually doing that now.

Admittedly, I'm still very much a night owl (just woke up at 3 pm) - That's part of the adhd that wasn't just magically fixed by going on a pill (much to my family's chagrin, I'm sure).

And tinkering with the dosage level, as recommended by my doctor, led to a stretch of time where I was way too alert/awake into the night, instead of slowly getting sleepier, as would normally happen. It definitely pushed my sleep cycle later, and that still hasn't drifted back, though I am just a few days into a different medication configuration (no booster dose a few hours after I wake up anymore, but a bit more delay from wake-up to taking meds. As I understand it, there's different pills out there that are less gradual-release and more immediate-release, so I might have to talk to my doctor about getting a prescription for those as well, for a booster dose, instead of the long-lasting ones).

Also, as you might be able to tell, I still have trouble with being concise with my thoughts, and still am quite scatterbrained when it comes to getting thoughts out.

As for the "physically-incapable of writing" part? I absolutely feel and understand that - I had so many days (years) of wanting to do things, but my brain just sort of buzzing at me instead of actually letting me do anything. That's definitely been reduced (but not completely eliminated). Another complication for me is that I have chronic migraines, and if I get a spike/flare-up, that's basically game-over for whatever passes for my productivity for the day.

But, with the ADHD meds in my system, the constant state of fatigue that I'm in doesn't feel quite so overwhelming - Even during a migraine spike. Like, I won't be writing or doing much, necessarily, but it's not an instant-"I need to go lie down right now" anymore.

Because I'm terminally-nerdy, I joked to my friends that feeling the pain without the fatigue must be what Temporary HP feels like in D&D.

people with Disorders who write - does it get easier with medication? i have an overdue psychiatrist visit in a few weeks with the plan being to start adhd meds + antidepressants. i feel very Excited to write and yet physically incapable of it

[daddy-suguru]

brb changing my name from SoftDom!Itachi anon to just Soft!Itachi anon. Lazy mornings in bed just carding your fingers through his smooth silky hair as he lays on your thighs, occasionally leaving little kisses wherever he can reach. Having silly conversations in soft voices "if you were a cow, what kinda grass would be your favourite snack" There's nothing better than hearing Itachi laugh, feeling the vibrations course from his body through to yours "dandelions"

I am a firm believer than on the inside Itachi is just a natural softie. He can hand you, your ass on a plate but when it comes to you. Also wonderful I change it to soft!Itachi anon on my m.list

speaking of flowers and Itachi’s hair! Imagine braiding some flowers into his long soft hair. Like they did to Rapunzel in tangled. He is sitting there in a loosely tight rope, that shows his toned chest. And he has the softest smile on his face and he is so happy because you put flowers in his hair. Now it’s your turn to let him braid some flowers into your hair.

Itachi would want to go on a walk, holding hands the whole time. To show off the matching flowers in his and yours hair.

Onto mornings with Itachi. Thinking of non-massacre au where Itachi gets a mostly peaceful life. It would be early morning hours Itachi’s job often has him walking up early. So that means he is waking up at 5 am. And he loves that you want to be woken up two, since he is out of the house by 7. You get two beautiful sunrise hours with him in the morning before he is gone most of the day.

In the morning Itachi likes to wake you up by kissing you and making you cum. Since he enjoys soft loving morning sex with you being sleepy and needy. This way you won’t miss him too much while he is busy at work. And he leaves for work a happy and very satisfied man.

Normally sweet morning sex in the light of the rising sun coming through the window making Itachi look more angelic than he normally does. You always end up sleepier then when he woke you up. So after Itachi always kisses your forehead before he leaves. It’s his good luck kisses. (And he would adore it if you gave him forehead kiss too.) You always go back to bed.

Itachi would love it when you texted him that your awake. And if his job has him in town he might send a clone to make breakfast with you or for you. Before giving you a kiss and proofing away so Itachi can have the memory of you being adorable and sleepy. Also he knows you ate breakfast and didn’t skip it.

More on Itachi having a garden, because now I’m obsessed, him in a gardening hat. With some gardening gloves on looking so happy about his fruits and vegetables. The way he enthuses about them telling you about their growth.

Then there is Itachi and his fluffy cow. He got the fluffy one since you thought they were adorable. Him giving the cow a cute collar. Him petting their soft fuzzy head.

m.list

[hnybearx]

Addiction || Prelude

Claire's POV

"FOR THE LOVE OF MY ARSE I JUST NEED A CRIT DMG MAIN STAT HAT FOR CHILDE!" 

Once again, the screen of my laptop displayed the result of artifacts I got from the domain. I was getting tired of the same Def% status I got instead of the Crit ones. It was 2 AM in the morning and I'm still grinding to build my Childe. 

"Come on, Claire, it's not that bad, you got some Crit sub-stats." A voice can be heard from the other side of the world. Tyrex and Jess, two of my best friends, is with me now. In Genshin. We are calling in a voice channel since we can't really meet up in real life. 

"You could give it to Albedo," Jess suggested, trying to lift up the mood. I sigh in exasperation as I told her that Albedo was perfectly built and does not need any new or better artifacts. 

"It's getting late. Maybe Mihoyo doesn't want you to sleep at 3-4 AM every day." Tyrex said with a sneer. I scoffed playfully and retorted back. "Yeah right Ms. I-don't-sleep-but-I-still-get-good-artifacts." We all laughed as we waited for our screens to lead us out of the domain.

"Darn it, no resin left." I opened my inventory to see if I have any spare fragile resin, but it was to no avail. I sighed once more. 

Goodness, when will I be lucky in this game? 

Never, and you know it.

Suffering from the 50-50 loss all the time, I decided to give up on my luck in the rolls. However, I thought I might have some luck left for domains. It was wrong. I was dumb to think that it is a possibility. 

"I think I'm heading off now. I'll just yeet myself from your world and sleep." Jess logged out of the co-op and bid us farewell. Without a minute, Tyrex heads out as well as she would like to play other games instead of Genshin. By 5 minutes after the farewell goodbyes, I logged of Discord and went back to Genshin, just to farm for future updates. 

It's now 10 minutes to 3 AM and I'm still fighting some hilichurls. Since it was not that hard to fight them off, I used another team just for fun. It was a shame that I decided to pick out the healer team instead of the shield team. The character on the screen now, a.k.a Jean is heading towards another pile of hilichurls. Our so-called targets are dancing around a bonfire in Dragonspine. 

"I'm so sorry" I stated to no one in particular and started to lung the enemies to the nearest body of water. Barbara quickly took Jean's position and created her water hoop of healing. Then in mere seconds, it was switched to Diona as a shield starts to form around her. And by the next switch, it was Sayu with her claymore and rolling abilities. She rolled around them to create a swirl effect before Jean took her place and threw the hilichurls into the water. Before she could take the things dropped in the water, a sudden attack of blue arrows launched towards her, making her freeze. 

"WAIT— HUH? OH! I MISSED ONE" I spam the space button on the keyboard to escape from the freezing form. Jean dashes towards the left-over hilichurl and threw them into the body of water, this time for good. 

"Not bad. Could be worse, but oh well." I shrugged my shoulders before seeing the time again. 

"I— 4.30 AM?! SHOOT I HAVE A MEETING TOMORROW! WAIT NO, TODAY!! it's in like... 5 MORE HOURS?!" I quickly logged off Genshin and shuts down my laptop. I quickly did my night routines and lay on the bed after. I sighed as I looked at the ceiling. What my friends didn't know is that I sleep by trying to do this trend named Shifting. It's like transferring yourself into another dimension, wherever you want. But with multiple failed attempts, I decided that it was a 'too good to be true' reality. My eyes strayed off the ceiling and towards my laptop on the table in the room. 

"I think I'm way too addicted to this game." I turned away from the table and positioned myself to look at the wall instead, thinking it could be way interesting than the laptop. Which is not. But staring into nothingness just made me even sleepier. The world started to dim itself as my eyelids cover my vision and left me in the dark. 

》《》《》 《》《》《》《 

I opened my eyes to see the bright light coming from the skies above me. My pupils started to adjust my vision with the intensity of the light before I realized, why can I see the skies? 

A bird screeched and flew by the sky. My mind is trying to process everything I see. From the blue skies to the cool blue ocea— 

"HUH?!" My body sprang from the ground— or should I say sand— and sat right up. With the frantic beating of my heart, I took in the whole new scenery in front of me. Although the sky here is way gorgeous than the sky at home, it was still a big shock that I went from sleeping in the comfort of my house to the sandy beach with a fantastic view.

"This could be a dream... Yes. That's right... a lucid dream..." I looked at my hands and decided that I should slap myself real hard. So I did. 

"A SHIT— MOTHERFU–HmmmPhMH" I hold my right cheek in pain. Wait, pain.. huh... that's weird. Since the water was clear enough to reflect the clouds, I went to the body of water to check on myself. It was then that I realized, I look different AND my cheeks are red. 

"Huh.. maybe I shifted? But I didn't plan nor scripted it.. and even if I did, I put the 'no pain + high pain tolerance' in one of the attributes..." I started to walk back and forth, trying to figure out which world did I accidentally went to. 

"But... wait... Chicken Nuggets!" I closed my eyes and said the safe word I dictated in order to bring me back to reality. However, when my eyelids flutter open, I'm still on the beach. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Slowly but surely, my brain processes each and every possibility of this event. 

"I can feel pain, I can NOT go back home, and the sun is setting. The only conclusion here is... I got isekai-d into wherever this place is.. "

.. 

.. 

.. 

IMPOSSIBLE!!" I screamed at my final conclusion. The birds around the area flew by the sudden sound. I went back to see my reflection by the water before it really turned into nighttime. My hair turned from brown to maroon red as my eyes went from hazel into sky blue. My stubby hands are now slender and my clothes... are still my clothes.. 

Wait I'm still using my pajamas— 

Thank goodness I chose to sleep in hoodies and shorts. But wait my undergarments— 

Swiftly lurking left to right, I can guarantee no one else is on the beach but me. I took a sneak peek inside my hoodies and sigh in relief that I was actually using proper undergarments. 

Huh, must've forgotten to take them off 

I didn't know how I still got my undergarments to despise loving the free moments at home. Nevertheless, it was one of those rare occasions that I am actually grateful to wear these uncomfy-lifting things. 

Wait did I get smaller boo—

"Uhhh Paimon thinks that we interrupted someone's privacy" a loud, high-pitched voice was heard from my right side. My head turned to their way in nanoseconds that I think my neck was cracked (no it didn't). A small flying human and a long-haired male with a crop top stood there looking at me, who is looking at my own booba. My eyes went wide as I instantly recognize them. 

"PAIMON?!"

Booklet || Next

[baecvlt]

Stalker Nagito Komaeda x Milf!Reader

this was requested via my twitter:

“Hey! i’ve seen your works and I’m in love. Can I request smut where a stalker Nagito Komaeda becomes obsessed with a milf reader who moves into the neighborhood who’s like a dom in bed and ya know just large bust and taller than him. Thank youuu🤍”

a/n: ofc. but I have my own idea of a dom which i’ll use involving certain things (heed warnings)

warnings: he is so obviously a virgin in this, degradation, slight masochism, asphyxiation, spit, also Nagito calls the reader mommy (side note: nagito is in his early 20s in this, he lives alone. age of reader isn’t specified BUT I say she’s in her late 20s/early 30s)

• • •

It was a bright day...which Nagito despised. It was summer. He hated the sun, hated the mosquitoes, and the unnecessary humidity. It was days like these he wishes he was back at his university dorm. The A/C, the tall tree covering his window and blocking the sun...it was perfect. Hell, he didn’t even hate classes. Yet, he couldn’t live in the dorms forever. When it came time to buy a home, he stupidly did so in fall, moved in during the winter.

Well, no shit the home seemed perfect then. It wasn’t fucking summer. His A/C decided to break, his windows has a great view of the sun, and most of his friends were out of town (all except Hajime, but Hajime is fucking boring and a bummer). Nagito sat on his couch, watching reruns of old tv shows. He took a sip from his nearby glass (cold water), suddenly hearing sounds of what appeared to be a loading van. He looked outside his window.

A moving van?

Right, that one old man who lived there passed away. Freak accident, by the way. Oh well, may he rest in peace. Meanwhile, Nagito was being himself and trying to see who it was. Pretty much, the dude was being nosy. He saw another car pull up. That must’ve been the family’s car. Out jumped 3 kids, what appeared to be 2 girls and 1 boy. An adult stepped out. Nagito decided he’d get a better look at the situation. He put on his shirt, black jeans, and his green hood.

He was “going for a walk”.

Without being noticed, he made his way to the other side of the street. It was a woman, she was taking boxes out of the truck. The minute Nagito saw her it was if he was stricken by Cupid’s arrow. She was tall and beautiful. Her skin complimented her hair and her legs, he couldn’t take his eyes off them. Her breasts...he needed to stop—

“Hi!”

She was in front of him, a warm and inviting smile on her face. “H-Hi,” he muttered. She didn’t hear him well, so it helped that he waved. “I’m new in the neighborhood. We just moved in,” she added, putting the box down. She stuck her hand out, going for a handshake. He shook her hand, her warm hand against his cold ones. Why are his hands always cold? “I see,” he responded, getting his shit together,“I’m Nagito Komaeda. I live across the street”. She introduced herself and complimented his house.

“What a lovely home. I hope the neighborhood is just as lovely”

“It should be. It’s pretty quiet. There’s not many families here. Say, can I help you pack?”

“You’re too sweet! I’d really appreciate it”

He helped take all the boxes in her home, helping load a couch too, and help with other large objects. They finished in 9 hours, taking a majority of the day. “Thanks for helping out, Nagito”. She made a lemonade, handing him a glass.

“Don’t mention it! Also, thank you”

One of the kids ran in the living room where they sat on the couch. He gasped when he saw Nagito. “Mommy! That man looks dead!!!”. Nagito smiled, but his mom was not amused. “Michael! Apologize..”. The kid kept smiling and said,“Sorry!”. He ran to another room. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered. Nagito shook his head.

“Hey, I’m rather malnourished”

“Ha. On an unrelated topic, are you hungry? I could make us something”

“Oh, I shouldn’t linger any longer. I wouldn’t want to disturb your husband”

She laughed. “I know you mean no harm, but I’m not married,” she added. “Oh,” Nagito muttered,“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean it in any way”. She shook her head and reassured him it was fine. “Sit, Nagito,” she pulled out a chair,“I’m not letting you refuse having dinner with us. Especially since you were such help”. She rubbed his back before heading back into the kitchen to begin cooking.

She made him a bowl of pasta, adding chicken on the side. Nagito was quite happy. He hadn’t eaten a good meal in so long. Her kids didn’t eat at the table, but on the counter. Meanwhile, she ate with Nagito. Just as Nagito thought he couldn’t grow fonder of her, he did just that. All she did was let him talk about himself.

“Jesus, I’m sorry about your parents? How are you keeping yourself afloat with university and expenses?”

“Academic scholarships”

“Wow, you’re such a smart boy”

The way she phrased it made him flustered. “Thank you for the meal, ma’am,” he muttered,“I haven’t eaten like this in who knows how long”. She smiled tenderly, picking up his empty plate. “Seconds?”. He shook his head.

“No, thank you. I’m already so full”

“I’m glad. You know, there’s always a meal for you in store if you can do me a favor”

“What’s that?”

“My oldest daughter has her final test this week. You think you can help her study? I’ll make you a nice, warm meal every time you come over”

Nagito thought about it. He would also have time around her. Plus, she wasn’t a bad cook. “Of course, I look forward to it,” he told her. “Lovely”. He got up and excused himself to go home. “It was nice having you over, Nagito,” she said softly. He could tell she was getting sleepy. When people are tired, Nagito has noticed that their tone is rather sheepish. She walked him to the door, ruffling his hair playfully and he blushed. “Goodnight, neighbor”.

“Goodnight, you”

Before he left, she stopped him and handed him a paper: (xxx) xxx-xxxx ♡

“Call me when you get home so I have your number saved. Then, I can call you when my daughter, Vanessa, needs help. Take care, okay?”

He nodded.

She closed the door, his thoughts racing on his way home. He picked up some things about her, things she didn’t even tell him. He went home and opened a notebook, writing all of it down. He called her and she answered, her voice as sweet as when he left (only sleepier). “Hello?”. His breath was heavy without realizing it as he spoke. “H-Hey, you told me to call you,” he breathed,“It’s Nagito...Komaeda”

“Oh, hey, angel! I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

“What? No, it’s all good— why’d you think so?”

“You sound like you need to catch your breath, but anyway, thanks for calling me. I’ve saved your number now”

“Oh, great! Well, if that’s all, I’ll let you go to bed now”

“It was. Goodnight, Nagito”

“G-Goodnight”

He hung up, flustered more than ever as he continued to jot down his thoughts on paper. The next day, he woke up at 6am to wait in his car. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn’t help it. At around 7:41am, his front neighbor and kids headed for their car. Nagito, who had taken a light nap in the driver’s seat, was awoken by the car starting. He waited for the car to drive away just slightly past his house to start his own car, slowly tailing behind her.

He dropped her kids off at the nearby elementary. She got off, kissed them on their forehead (all minus the eldest, who walked swiftly through the gates). Seeing how she cared for them made Nagito feel bad, but all he did was brush that feeling off. Next, he followed her through her daily. As he did, his notes from last night echoed through his mind, adding new detail.

“She works at an office not everyday She doesn’t have allergies but is sensitive to dust Red seems to be her favorite color but always in a darker shade Her daughter is around 10 years old She isn’t vegan but enjoys almond milk Maybe has an issues with abandonment but I can’t assume that either She buys many apples but not the same amount of bananas at the store so maybe she only eats the bananas—”

Just more to add to his notebook.

He got home before she did, writing down what he had learned. His phone rang about an hour later of him getting home. He picked it up,“Hello?”. “Nagito, hi!”. It was her. He started having a mini-panic attack, because why would she be calling him? “H-Hey, how are you?”

“I’m doing alright. I was wondering if you could come over and tutor Vanessa”

Oh, thank god.

“Yes, of course. I’ll be down there right now”

“Great. See you then!”

He was relieved, heading to her home happily. He knocked on the door. When she opened it, she did so with the same warm smile as yesterday. “Thank you for coming over,” she said,“She’s in her room”. Nagito nodded, freezing when she grabbed his hand and took him to the room. Her touch was so soft, noted. They got to the room, where a girl was reading a book on a desk. “Nessa?”. The girl turned around.

“Nagito is going to be here for a few hours to help you out with homework and studying. He’s really smart, so pay attention and be respectful”

“Okay, mom”

She nodded, squeezing Nagito’s shoulder before leaving. Nagito approached the girl, she took her things out. Before he could speak, she stopped him. “Please don’t call me ‘Nessa’,” she whispered,“It’s bad enough my mom does, but not you, Please”.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on referring to you at all”

“Bastard”

“Nessa”

“I guess I walked right into that one”

Nagito laughed, grabbing a chair and sitting next to her. Her work wasn’t what he expected. Is this what they’re teaching kids now? He could’ve sworn he hadn’t seen this type of stuff until he hit middle school. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t do, but damn. All in all, tutoring went well. Vanessa actually learned something today. “Good job!,” he said. “Thank you,” she smiled and hugged him,“I felt so stupid”.

“Hey, its okay not to understand things”

Her mom walked in. “Dinner’s ready”. Vanessa got up and went to the kitchen. “How’d it go?,” she asked Nagito. “Went well, she gets the math now,” he answered. She smiled, thanking him for his help and asking him to join them for dinner. He’d be foolish not to, so he accepted the invite.

Fish tacos were served tonight with rice and beans, another lemonade made. It was different than anything Nagito had ever had, but that doesn’t equate to bad. He actually enjoyed the meal. The kids sat at the main table today, much more respectful than yesterday. “Michael how was school?”. He put a thumbs up, getting back to eating. “And Adrianna?”. She looked up from her meal and shrugged. “What’s wrong?”.

“I’m tired, but class was okay”

“Oh, okay. When you’re done, just take a quick shower and get to bed”

“Thanks”

Nagito thought it was endearing. Seeing how understanding and loving she was, it was refreshing. The kids all eventually left, Nagito finishing his meal. “Did you like it?”. He looked at her, nodding. “Great! Seconds?”.

“Full again. I don’t usually eat, but your food is always so good”

“Oh, you’re just saying things...”

“No, really! Thank you”

He said his goodbyes to the family, walking back home. It was as if he was falling for this woman more and more everyday. He went to sleep, this time dreaming of her. He never dreams, but this time he dreamt she was on her knees for him. Then, nothing else. It was as if his dream teased him.

The next morning, he woke up to some knocking on the door. He looked at the time. 8:23am. He put on a pair of jeans and his shirt, walking to his door. He opened it and there she stood, wearing a black dress and red heels. He assumed she had work and needed a favor before going. “Good morning,” he said.

“Were you following me yesterday?”

Shit.

“I, uh...,” he didn’t know what to answer. He was indeed following her yesterday. He also liked her, so if he straight up said that he was to following her, it’d ruin things. His face was glowing a shade of pink to a slight red as he thought of the right answer. He was still stumbling over his words. “I think it’s kinda cute,” she added. The fuck? “Huh?”. She pushed him inside the house, closing and locking the door behind him. “When a boy follows someone around, it’s because he wants something,” she added, but her tone was so sultry,“Well, Nagito—”. She pushed him onto the couch, leaning in front of him with her hands on his chest.

“—What do you want?”

None of what was happening felt real. Nagito couldn’t find the words to express what exactly he wanted. This was the first time he’d ever been in a situation like this, it wasn’t a bad one either. He began to panic when she straddled him. “Could it be that you wanted me?,” she asked. He frantically nodded and she laughed as she locked her lips with his. He gasped against her lips, kissing back. She slowly trailed her kisses down to his neck, cupping his jaw while grinding on his lap. Nagito moaned, his shaky hands grabbing her ass. She grabbed his hands and put them away from her. “It’s cute that you’re getting this carried away”.

“I’m sorry”

“No time to apologize. Get on your knees for mommy”

Nagito was about to lose his mind when she said that, but he obeyed. Her presence was domineering as he stood on his knees against his carpeted floor. She spread her legs, noticing Nagito desperately trying to get a look. Her red heel stopped him, stepping on his head lightly. “Am I teasing you?,” she asked,“It’s okay to be honest”.

“Y-You are, but its okay. I want to be teased by you”

“You’re adorable,” she took her heel off his head,“Let’s go to your room”.

He practically ran to his bed. He sat and waited patiently. She entered the room, heading to his bed. She began to take off his shirt, admiring his frame. She then unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. He kicked them off and sat down. She sat next to him. “Give me your hands”. She held them, frowning slightly. “Boo, they’re so cold,” she teased,“I’ll warm them up for you”. Carefully, she grabbed his left hand, putting his middle and ring finger in her mouth. She licked to his fingertips, leaving him tense and speechless. She stopped and smiled at him.

“This is your first time, isn’t it?”

He nodded shyly. “Don’t be shy,” she said,“I’m going to guide you, but I’m also going to have my fun”. He gulped, nodded. She stood up and removed her dress. She wore a lacy black bra and panties. She brought his hands to her breasts, allowing him to fondle them. They were huge in his hands. “You like them, baby?”. “Y-Yes,” he muttered,“Can you, uh, take....the bra off?”. He was ashamed when asking, he felt desperate. She smiled and nodded, unhooking it and allowing the bra to fall to the ground. He gasped at the sight of her tits, grabbing them. She straddled him.

“Do you know what to do with them?”

He nodded, rubbing one and sucking the other. She moaned sweetly, grinding on his lap. He popped his mouth off them. That was when she took the opportunity to knock him onto the bed. She began to make out with him, shoving his tongue down her throat. They lay sideways. Her hand was on his neck, slightly choking him. He couldn’t resist but try to grind on her lap. She laughed. “Look at you,” she mocked,“Humping my leg like a desperate little puppy”. She didn’t let him speak, sitting up and pushing him back down. “I’m going to give you what you want,” she whispered in his ear,“Take your cock out”.

He was nervous as he did, hands shaky. She blushed a bit at his size. “It’s so big,” she said, straddling him,“I’m going to have my way with it”. “Please, do what you want to me,” he begged,“Abuse me, please”. She didn’t speak, sinking down on it. Nagito gasped, she was extremely wet. She began to bring her hips up and land straight down on it, repeatedly. She put her hands around his throat, now being rougher. Nagito gasped for air, grabbing her hands.

That was a mistake.

“Hands down,” she ordered, striking him across the face. “Sorr-”. He was slapped once again. “Only speak when you’re spoken to”. He nodded as his stomach began to cave in. His cock twitched each time she slapped him, making her moan. She leaned forward, capturing his earlobe between her teeth. He winced, his hands tangling in the sheets. He felt as though his entire body was blushing.

“You’re so sensitive there”

She teased him, kissing the skin and nibbling. His hips involuntarily snapped upward, making her whine. “You’re so desperate, baby,” she laughed,“it’s so cute”. He could feel her warmth running along his cock. He bit into his hand, trying to stop himself from cumming inside her. It worked, but she didn’t like him doing that. She grabbed his hands and kissed them.

“Don’t hurt yourself, put them right here”

She placed them on her boobs. He watched them bounce up and down, grabbing them gently. His rather large hands seemed small on her tits. He was extremely flushed. He took them off her and placed them on her hips. “Open your mouth”. He lay back more and did as he was told. She leaned forward, grabbing his jaw again as she spit into it and kissed him. He moaned when she did, his urges getting the best to him and thrusting upward. He hit her cervix every time, causing her to produce the sweetest and sluttiest of moans. Her walls tightened around him and now he was whining. “Are you gonna cum, honeybun?,” she asked.

“Y-Yes..”

“Where do you wanna cum?”

“I wanna cum...everywhere. I want it. I want it so bad. I wanna cum inside and on your tits, on your ass, y-your face..mouth. Please let me cum, mommy”

She motivated him, riding him harder. “Come on, Nagito,” she whispered,“Cum for mommy. Cum all the way inside her”. He lost his mind after that, groaning as he shot his load(s) inside her. He was still inside her as he tried catching his breath. She rubbed his chest, shushing him. “Good boy, you did so well,” she cooed,“Such a good boy.” He was covering his face, embarrassed and still hard. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?,” she asked. He shook his head, thinking,“Not rough enough”. He whined when she got off, revealing he was still erect. She noticed.

“You wanna go again, baby? Kids don’t leave school till 2:30. We have time for an extra fuck”

“C-Can I?”

“Yes, dummy”

She let Nagito choose how to fuck her. He wanted missionary, mostly because he craved intimacy and she did not disappoint. She kissed and praised him, telling him he was good. She held onto him the whole time and cuddled him afterwards. Nagito felt so special, he felt loved. “I can come over when I don’t have work,” she said,“Would you like that?”.

“I’d love that actually”

“You make me happy, Nagito. I could stay here and cuddle all day”

“I feel so lucky”

He yawned, looking at the clock. “Its 10,” he told her. She nuzzled his chest, humming. “Mmmm, let’s take a small nap,” she whispered,“Okay?”. “Okay”. He kissed the top of her head and held her to him, slowly joining her in slumber.

[juminsmysticmc]

Pregnancy Series - Part 3

Telling them 

Hey! So a lot of you have been waiting and I am honestly happy that you guys seem to like my pregnancy series! Please feel free to tell me your opinion with a comment or through a reblog ( I read every single # ) or just send me a message in my inbox! Hope you enjoy! 

Pregnancy Series: Part 1 // Part 2 

Jumin

You nervously rubbed your hands together as the weekend finally came.

Ever since Jumin married you, he decided to have his birthday parties only with you instead of throwing big parties with people he didn’t even like just because of his status.

But this time you prepared something special for him.

You decided to invite your father-in-law as well as the RFA, even Zen, at your place on the 4th of October to stay until Jumin’s birthday at midnight the 5th october.

For Zen, you even prepared your party room since your beloved cat wasn’t in every room of the big penthouse your husband owned.

And so you prepared everything without your husband’s knowing. To say it clearly, you made someone else prepare it because you were scared of hurting the baby, being overprotective since it took you so long to get pregnant.

Maybe you were too scared, but you knew that Jumin wouldn’t have wanted you to overwork yourself.

The room was decorated in gold and black colors and you also baked a big cake on your own, deciding to hide a long note into the cake, saying that you were pregnant. At the end of the note, a copy of your first picture of the baby was attached, showing Jumin that whatever was happening was real.

You knew that he would be more than happy to see this, to know about the baby you were carrying.

,,Finally ready,’’ you said and sighed, looking at your clock, knowing that at 8 PM everyone would come home to stay into the room before Jumin would come home with Jaehee from the office.

The first guest to arrive was your father in law. To your surprise, he didn’t take his girlfriend along, but since Jumin always had to prepare a second party for his status, your in-law promised you to bring her along the next day. Well, you knew that this wasn’t going to last for a long time, but to make the elder happy, you nodded and smiled, telling him that you were more than happy to be able to get to know her.

Lastly, Seven, Zen, and Yoosung arrived. Zen and Seven were arguing whether or not the red haired boy should kidnap his Elly.

,,I need to go home with you. You can’t take that fur ball with you!’’ he hissed.

You left the men alone for a second before you waited for the final guest - your husband, of course followed by Jaehee who just sent you a message about her arrival.

Jumin was puzzled at first when you invited Jaehee inside and led the way to another part of the penthouse, but since it was you who asked, it was okay, you were his wife after all.

The surprise party, however, made him emotional and you knew that Jumin was touched just by his mimicry and how he stood there, you knew your husband.

,,I have a present for you, but you will only be allowed to have it at midnight!’’ you teased him after he gave you a long, lovely kiss.

Staying awake almost four hours more was hard for you. Since you knew that you were pregnant, you were even sleepier, but for Jumin you could manage to stay awake. You had to.

,,IT’S MIDNIGHT! BRING THE CAKE!’’ Seven screamed in excitement, making you a bit nervous.

Yoosung carried the cake into the room after you kindly asked him to, as you all sang ,,Happy Birthday’’ to him.

,,Thank you, my love,’’ he whispered and kissed you again, ready to blow his candles.

,,Before you cut the cake, Jumin,’’ you said as he stood there with a knife already ,,here’s something you have to pull out. Read it out loud,’’ you said.

You pressed your lips together as you waited for him to pull out the long white note until finally the first words appeared. ,,I…..’’ he said, he smirked, thinking that the note was ,,I love you’’

,,A….M…..P...R...E...G…-’’ he looked at you in shock before he pulled the note even quicker out of the cake, seeing the last picture of an ultrasound.

For the first time, all members of the RFA saw Jumin Han cry real tears by the man they always called ,,cold hearted’’ as he hugged his wife and kissed her with a lot of love, thanking her over and over again.

,,This is the best present ever,’’ he hiccuped and kneeled down to kiss your flat belly.

Zen

,,You will surely be a good mother!’’ the chocolate lady praised you as she gave you the white chocolate with the baby sonogram of your baby.

You quickly went back in and prepared a few more things. The chocolate was ready, you thought you would now take a little package and put balloons around the chocolate so that it would float up as soon as Zen would open the box.

Since the chocolate was in a cute packaging too, you put a note on it saying to open it immediately to see the surprise.

You guessed that this would be the perfect Valentine’s Day gift.

Then you also decided to bake a few muffins, not just for Zen, but also because you wanted to slowly get used to the idea of baking cakes for your future child.

That evening, you tried your best to act normal because you were overloading with happiness and excitement.

The next day, you woke up pretty quickly. One of the reasons was because you had the urge to throw up and the other reason was because you wanted to drop the news as soon as possible.

,,Mc, did you get checked up? Like-’’

,,Hyun, it’s just a virus. That’s why I had to cancel our reservation at the hospital,’’ you groaned as you again had to empty your stomach.

,,Of course, baby,’’ he whispered, holding your hair as he kept rubbing your back.

At times like these, he wished you could be like him, healing and getting better quickly.

But he also knew that you were a strong woman and didn’t have any problems.

,,Okay, I’m better,’’ you gasped as you went to wash your mouth. The taste you had in your mouth wasn’t really yummy and so you brushed your teeth before you decided to give him his present.

,,Here, for you,’’ you whispered as you laid back in bed, feeling a bit lightheaded.

Zen’s eyes went soft as he saw the big box, placing it on the floor and sitting next to it to open the present.

Just like you wanted, the balloons flew up, pulling the chokolate up.

Zen quickly grabbed the present and read the note out loud.

,,I’m excited. I never thought that Valentine’s Day could become so special one day,’’ he laughed.

You slowly teared up as you thought about how much better and special this day would become.

Zen opened the chocolate and inspected the picture.

He stayed silent for a second before he looked up at you again.

,,Really?’’ he asked you, whispering as his tears found a way out.

,,Really, Hyun, really.’’

Yoosung

You hurried home after the appointment, thinking about the best way to tell your husband that you were pregnant.

After you decided to take a look at some Pinterest boards, you decided to sew a little baby out of his clothes.

You once saw it in a drama and it was, in your opinion, the cutest idea.

And so, you took an old shirt of his and went down to the city, buying some stuff to fill your baby.

It took you the whole day to sew that baby, to first cut the material, put it together in a little cute baby outfit, and patch it together.

You were really happy back then; your teacher taught you how to sew at the machine and your mother bought you one back then.

Right when Yoosung entered, you just finished the little baby.

You were proud of yourself and were more than happy that you could hide the present before he came home.

,,Hello, my wife,“ he smiled and kissed you, seeing that you were in a better mood than in the morning.

,,You haven't cooked yet? Wanna do it together?“ he asked you, seeing that nothing was prepared.

,,Oh, I need to be honest. I took a good rest today and I forgot that it was already so late,“ you lied.

,,It’s okay! I can also order some sushi or-”

,,No sushi!“ you called, looking away.

,,Can we eat pizza?“ you asked him, trying to hide the fact that you preferred to not eat raw fish.

And so you both did, although Yoosung was kind of puzzled when you didn’t take the wine you both usually drank while eating pizza.

The day went by and the next morning finally arrived. You were happy to wake up just in time to set the table, prepare the breakfast, and put his bag with the baby doll on his seat.

,,Happy eighth anniversary,“ he whispered and kissed you, hugging your body from behind, nuzzling his head in your neck.

,,Eight years already,“ you sighed happily and turned around, ready to give him a deep, lovely kiss on his lips.

Yoosung quickly sat down, giving you his hand over the table as he put some sugar in his coffee.

,,That’s for you,“ he told you, giving you an envelope.

You smiled.

,,The bag in front of you is from me for you,“ you told him, as if someone else could have made him a present.

The both of you decided to open your present at the same time.

And once again, you surprised each other.

,,You want to adopt a child?“ you asked him as he almost screamed ,,YOU’RE PREGNANT?“

You both laughed at the same time. Yoosung quickly got up from his chair, getting on his knees as he kissed your belly with tears in his eyes.

,,I knew it! No sushi, no wine! I knew it!“ he sobbed, stroking the place where his baby was supposed to be.

,,Such a little human being will grow up here. Can you believe it?“ Yoosung asked you.

You were also now sobbing, shaking his head as you stroked his fluffy hair ,,Finally, Yoosung, finally,“

Jaehee

Your girlfriend couldn’t wait to hug you, hold you in her arms and so, as soon as she caught a glimpse of you at the train station, she hugged you, sobbing into your shoulder.

It was cold outside and you luckily came back right in time before the holy days of Christmas.

Jaehee still hugged you when suddenly, something soft and cold touched your nose, making you look up into the sky.

,,The first snow,’’ you whispered, making Jaehee loosen up her hug and look up too.

She chuckled as she knew that you loved the snow.

A few seconds later, the both of you walked hand in hand towards your shop. Jaehee was happy as you seemed to be in a happy mood.

Your fingers felt hot as hers were entangled in yours, stroking the skin of your finger with her thumb.

,,Go and take a warm shower. I will make us some food,’’ she mumbled and quickly left you alone.

And so, while the warm water of your shower hit your body, warming you up and relaxing your muscles, you thought of a way to tell Jaehee that you two finally did it.

Suddenly, you got a very good idea. Lately, you were into sublime stitching and found it hard to find new things to stitch, but now that you had your first ultrasound, you finally had a new challenge to take!

You copied your first ultrasound and sent it to your favorite artist, who was more than happy to make your ultrasound into a pattern with ink.

Just like always, you ironed the picture with the hot iron on your fabric, but this time you didn’t buy the pattern and indeed used your own.

You smiled as you saw how good it worked out. You were really proud of yourself that the first step was already so well done! 

But you couldn’t keep going as Jaehee called you to open the shop with her.

And so the weeks went by. You luckily didn’t have any symptoms that could have ruined the surprise for Jaehee.

You wanted to give it to her as a Christmas present after all.

You kept stitching along the line, slowly and accurately so that everything would look nice and neat.

When you finally finished, you felt yourself becoming emotional. This was now real, this present and this baby was really happening to you and Jaehee, who waited for so long for this.

The last step was to wash the fabric so that the blue ink would disappear, making it look once again much more beautiful.

,,I can’t wait for Christmas,’’ you chuckled to yourself and put the present into a little box.

,,You really didn’t have to,’’ Jaehee whispered the morning of Christmas Eve.

The both of you sat on your couch in front of your Christmas tree.

It was warm and cozy in your living room as you both were wearing the same Christmas hoodies.

You excitedly looked over to Jaehee as she opened the box.

Her fingers followed every stitched line, her lips began to tremble and it seemed as if she couldn’t breathe calmly.

You were getting worried, but soon enough Jaehee looked at you.

,,Is that yours?’’ she asked her, her voice was cracking.

,,Yes. I didn’t have the flu or covid, I’m pregnant,’’ you laughed.

Jaehee hugged you, not too strong, stroking the back of your hair as she enjoyed the warmth of your body.

,,I don’t have such a great present,’’ she laughed and kissed your cheek.

Saeyoung

The birthday of the twins was slowly approaching. By now you were eight weeks pregnant.

You still had symptoms and felt sick. Sometimes you couldn’t even cook, making Saeyoung worry for you, but you knew that this was worth it.

You chuckled as you thought about your self made toy you prepared as a present for Saeyoung. It was a toy he had to play first before the news of your pregnancy would be announced.

It took you a while to construct everything.

It was a game where he had to put cards together. To put them together, he had to form different sentences in different languages.

Matching cards would give him a letter and afterwards those letters would give him the sentence ,,You will be soon a daddy!’’ but of course, he had to also form this sentence.

Since it was kind of difficult to perform this all in Hangul, you decided to make it an english game.

For Saeran, you prepared a little teddy bear which would say ,,Hello Uncle’’ but of course, he wasn’t allowed to open his present until Saeyoung played with his present.

The 11th of June quickly approached you guys as you woke up one morning. Luckily, you still didn’t feel sick.

You hugged Saeyoung as you woke him up with a sweet kiss ,,Good morning,’’ you whispered, making him groan, but not open his eyes.

,,Hello, how did you sleep?’’ you asked him when he turned his body to you and hugged you back.

,,Good, but being awake next to you is better,’’ he whimpered and almost fell asleep again.

,,Ya! Your birthday breakfast is waiting for you!’’ you hissed and laughed.

He immediately jumped up, yelling for his brother. ,,SAERAN, YOU ARE TURNING A YEAR OLDER!’’ he laughed, making you shake your head.

But you were happy that Saeyoung finally found his brother. You could just imagine how it must have been for him to miss his second half for all those years.

And even though Saeran didn’t admit it, he probably missed his brother too.

The three of you were sitting around the table as they ate their soup. It was a special soup for their birthday.

,,I will give you your birthday present later when the other’s are here too,’’ you told them both, making your husband especially sad. ,,You always want your present at midnight and now I have to wait?’’ he asked you, whining as you laughed at him.

,,It’s special, that’s why,’’ you told him, making him sulk.

,,My presents are always special,’’ he whined but didn’t say anything anymore as he enjoyed his food.

You were nervous as the RFA came one by one. By now, you guys were always together. You saw yourselves as a family.

,,Okay guys, because of you I couldn’t open my present!’’ he whined and finally unpacked the box. At first he looked a bit… puzzled, which made you chuckle.

You explained to him how to play and even persuaded him to play on his own.

,,Boring that everyone is watching me,’’ he mumbled as Saeran kept patting his present, you told him he wasn’t allowed to open it yet.

,,Is that german? ,,Wir müssen…’’ what?’’ he laughed.

But one by one he did it and finally had the single letters that would give the hidden message.

,,I am pregnant, I don’t even have to think about it, that’s the message, right?’’ he said and immediately looked up at you, already in tears.

By now, Saeran too, unpacked his bear and in a big family embrace, Saeyoung cried into your shoulder.

Saeran

After you were brought to the maternity ward and they did some more tests, it seemed that it was official that you were pregnant!

Saeran got up as soon as he saw you walking out of the big doors.

,,Is it something serious? It took you so long and no one wanted to say anything,’’ he whined and took your hand between his, massaging your palm as he slowly walked out with you.

,,I just had to wait a long time,’’ you lied and smiled at him, trying to convince him that you just had a mere virus.

And so the days passed again and you worked on a present for Saeran who was a soon to be father.

You put a lot of thought into it and decided that doing something handmade would be much better than just telling him.

That’s why you decided to give him something your baby would get - a handmade baby blanket with his favorite flower patched on it.

You put a lot of hard work into it, using the best material and the most beautiful colors.

And since the gender was still unknown, you decided to go for a light beige color with some red details.

In the end, the blanket looked just too cute and it hit you - you were pregnant.

The day was nothing special when you told Saeran that you would like to go and eat an ice cream with him, something he agreed to immediately.

He took a few hours free and hand in hand with you, he went to buy ice cream for the both of you, enjoying the sun on your skin and the nature around you.

,,What do you have in that bag?’’ he asked you after a while, still licking his ice cream as he pointed at the little bag in your hand.

,,Nothing,’’ you began, ,,just something little I want to give you,’’ you told him, making him excited to know what you would like to give him.

To prevent the blanket from getting dirty, you decided to wait until the both of you were finished with the ice cream, giving you the chance to talk to Saeran a bit more about his day and your day.

,,Okay, now I’m ready,’’ he nodded and looked at the bag. He couldn’t wait to see what you had prepared for him in there.

He opened the bag and pulled out the self made blanket, observing every little detail.

He tilted his head as he looked at the length of it.

,,It’s a bit too little for you, right?’’ you laughed, making him laugh too.

Suddenly, Saeran saw a little note in there.

,,It’s not for you, it’s for your baby, Dad. Congratulations…’’ he whispered and put the note back into the bag, looking at the tiny blanket again.

You knew that he was happy, but probably overwhelmed with this news and so you decided to wait a few moments.

But as soon as the news arrived in his head, Saeran couldn’t prevent himself from hugging and thanking you a thousand times.

,,You...you always make me so happy…!’’ he whined.

,,I will give my best to become a good father,’’ he said with a trembling voice.

,,I won’t become like my parents. I will be a good one and I will protect you and our unborn child,’’ he whispered, his hand on your belly by now.

,,I promise,’’ he nodded.

,,I trust you, Saeran.’’

Jihyun

As soon as Saeyoung heard those words, he began to tear up and hugged you, patting your back. He was just so happy for you and Jihyun as he knew that the both of you had a hard time lately.

,,Let’s get back and prepare something!’’ he said in his mischievous smile and helped you to get into the car.

Of course, to keep it fair, Saeyoung wasn’t allowed to tell anybody. Instead, the both of you planned on how to tell Jihyun who would soon come back home.

,,How about I make a computer print of your future family and he has to paint it in little colors? We will just make it with so many details that he won’t notice from the beginning that it’s a family picture of four!’’ Saeyoung chuckled. You loved the idea and were more than happy to go with it.

You and Saeyoung worked on the details while the rest of the RFA weren’t at your home as they too had their personal lives.

Saeyoung and Saeran, however, stayed with you partly because Saeyoung prepared the surprise with you, but also because they both were worried.

When you finally finished with the layout and Saeyoung helped you to print it out, you wouldn’t be able to tell that this was a picture of a family.

,,I wonder how he will react,’’ you laughed and thanked him for his hard work.

,,Those were the longest six weeks I’ve ever experienced,’’ you whimpered when Jihyun finally arrived at home, Lucy on your hand, also more than happy to see her father.

Hugging the both of you, he nodded in agreement.

,,I also missed the both of you,’’ he said honestly.

Quickly letting him step in, you took his stuff and helped him to unpack before you told him that dinner would be soon ready.

,,I have a little challenge for you,’’ you laughed as you went back to your room to take the picture you prepared for him.

,,Oh, I saw that on Instagram,’’ he nodded, as he remembered the logic of the painting.

,,Yes, but I did this myself,’’ you said proudly, handling it over to him.

He laughed happily ,,I’m excited to work on it, thank you!’’ he laughed.

,,Yes, but there’s a hidden message in it so you need to hurry with it!’’ you told him, not knowing that you encouraged him to work on it the whole night after you fell asleep that night.

In the morning, when you just opened your eyes and saw his black bags below his eyes, paint all over his hands, you knew that he overworked himself.

,,Will we be able to adopt a child?’’ he asked you, his voice was raspy as he asked you, tears in his eyes, excited to know the answer.

You slowly shook his head, making him wonder if his sleepy eyes made him see something he just wanted to see.

But you didn’t want to tease him anymore so you finally told him. ,,I’m pregnant, Jihyun. I wasn’t sick back then, I was just… pregnant! I was having symptomes. We will have a child together soon!’’ you told him, slowly getting up from the bed.

,,I’m so happy,’’ he sighed and kissed your belly.

,,I will never go away for such a long time, I swear,’’ he whispered and then, with his knees on the floor and head on your lap, slowly fell asleep….

Vanderwood

You observed Vanderwood, noticing that the mood was being off for a few days.

To be honest, it was happening ever since you told him that you wanted to stop trying to have children for the time being.

Your eyes followed Vanderwood as he walked out and took out a cigarette, sluggishly smoking and looking around.

You began to chew on your lips as you thought back, maybe beginning the topic with ,,Yo’’ wasn’t the best way to start.

But there was no way back now and it didn’t matter anymore since you finally got pregnant.

You hoped that a day later, Vanderwood’s birthday, this silence between the both of you would be over finally as you wanted to surprise him with a self made cake which said, ,,Hello Daddy!’’

Of course, you firmly told him to not look at it, something he would never do since he knew how much you liked to surprise him.

,,Vandy,’’ you called him softly.

,,Don’t call me like that,’’ he groaned, a bit annoyed as he closed the door.

,,Are you angry at me?’’ you asked him, scared for his answer.

Vanderwood turned his body to you.

He didn’t look happy and you just noticed.

,,I’m not angry, I’m just… I have the feeling that you don’t really care about having a family with me while I work my ass of and-’’

,,Woah, what gives you that idea?’’ you asked him, slowly getting off the couch and looking at him.

You didn’t want to fight with him, but his comment… hurt you deeply.

,,Last time, sorry, but you approached the topic totally wrong!’’ he hissed, on his way to the kitchen.

You followed him there. He was partly right, you thought.

,,But, I was just… I didn’t know how to tell you, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t care,’’ you told him, your trembling voice making him look back at you.

,,I know. It still hurts though,’’ he whispered and opened the fridge to take out a cold drink.

,,You know what,’’ you told him, holding onto the door of the fridge and pulling out the cake you made for him which was covered with something so that he couldn’t see what was written on it with the chocolate.

,,What-’’ before Vanderwood could even say anything, you showed him the cake you prepared for him with the note written on it that you were pregnant.

,,It’s true. I was mean and I should have approached you differently, but I was so down, I didn’t think I could get pregnant anytime soon and- just don’t say anymore that I don’t care,’’ you finished your sentence and looked up, your tears were rolling down your cheeks as you were unsure of what to do now.

But Vanderwood knew what he had to do and softly took you in his arms, laying you down in the other room and kissing your neck.

,,You destroyed my surprise,’’ he whispered, giving you a kiss again.

,,Sorry for being selfish. I was mean while you’ve been carrying my baby,’’ he honestly apologized, stroking your flat womb as you sobbed into his shoulder.  

Part 4.1 of my pregnancy series here 

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

🤰🏻ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴄʏ sᴇʀɪᴇs🤰🏻Masterlist here

16.05.2021// 00:12 MEST

[kcatta-wodahs]

Babe! I hope your requests are open... (i didn't check omg)

anyway I am soft and I want to request your beautiful brain

The brothers' reaction to GN MC falling asleep on their lap! I thought it was adorable, how do you think they'd react? You can also do Dia, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon if you'd like! No pressure though!

Love you!

the soff? the soff. Time for soff. i love you too!!!!!

I wrote these from the point of view that MC already snuggles with them a lot so that part isn’t unusual. I might write the Undateables later if I get inspired!

Demon Bros Ahead!

Lucifer

Most often, you’d lay your head in his lap when he still had work to do

You know. like... always.

Since Lucifer always had work to do, it’s hard to find time to spend together, even if he really wants to.

This is a perfect in between. You can lay on his lap, playing games or reading books, or whatever you wish to do, and he doesn’t have to feel like he’s missing work.

It’s when he asks you a question and you don’t respond that he notices you’ve fallen asleep this time.

And oh, his heart melts. 

The idea that you trust him enough to completely fall asleep with him there?

He scoops you into his arms and carries you to your bed.

He leaves you the smallest kiss on your forehead before he leaves.

But he definitely hopes that someday.. he might be able to hold you all night.

Mammon

You two are just hanging like normal, watching a movie that you’ve seen a million times

Mammon has a lot of comfort movies like that. Ones you know by heart but still love watching because they’re your special thing with him now.

You swap places most of the time. One night he’ll be laying in your lap, the other it’ll be you in his.

After all, having your hair played with feel soooooo good okay you gotta split the feeling evenly.

When Mammon realizes you fell asleep he doesn’t know if he should be offended that he isn’t entertaining enough or #blessed because oh my god you’re asleep on HIS lap oh myg0

He may think about it way too much and turn himself into a blushing mess.

He lets you sleep as long as you need to, and stays right there, even if its hours.

And he completely denies that he stayed there for you when you wake up.

Leviathan

Snuggles happen during anime binge nights or when Leviathan is too fixated on a game to put it down.

You’re more than happy to just watch him play on those days, being the company he needs so that he doesn’t completely lose track of reality.

It’s so cute to watch him get excited too!

This is one of those days.

But when Leviathan lets out a cheer when he finally passes the level, he hears a little disturbed mumble from you.

He looks down and sees you asleep and oh man he’s never been so red.

Oh no, he couldn’t wake you up either! What to.. do??

You are asleep in his lap???

He has forgotten all about his game at this point, torn between waking you up so you could get more comfy, and just.. letting this be.

After a while, he convinces himself to wake you up, but it doesn’t work like he planned. Now you’re just hug-snuggling him while you sleep.

Guess... it’s bed time?

Satan

The soft sound of something landing on the carpet alerts him

He almost jumps as the silence between you two is broken, and when he looks down he sees that you’ve dropped your book.

A second later and he realizes you’re asleep.

He feels gentle and soft just looking at you. Like all of his troubles have melted away.

He can’t help but run his fingers through your hair, over your forehead, and to brush your cheek lightly.

He is more than happy to keep reading until you wake up.

If it reaches bed time and you’re still asleep? Well... he might just fall asleep right there too.

Being able to spend such time with you is more precious to him than all the world.

Asmodeus

Oh! Snuggle times are his favorite!

He loves telling you all about his latest fashion design, or the strange demons he met at the fall while you lay in his lap and listen to his stories.

Sometimes, that’s how he does manicures for you, since he really likes to have his hands moving while he talks.

He feels how tired you are this time, though. He teases you about it a little, but encourages you that he won’t be offended if you doze off.

He knows his voice is soothing after all.

He will happily continue the manicure while your responses to him get sleepier and sleepier.

And once you’ve fallen asleep and he’s finished your nails? He will just straight up watch you and your beautiful face while you sleep.

He loves this, and like Lucifer, he’s honored that you trust him enough to completely let down your guard around him.

He loves you so much.

Beelzebub

Another movie night!!

You two have snacks galore, a whole mountain of them ready for marathoning BBQ Life together!

Beel loves loves loves *loves* cuddling, so he’s more than happy to be the one to put his shoulder over you first, and he doesn’t mind at all when you laid in his lap.

He’s happily snacking away and chatting with you about the recipies on the show, and how it would be amazing if TVs could share smells as well as images.

He gets super enthralled in this one recipe and pauses for a while, and when he speaks again, you don’t respond.

When he shuffles and looks down at you, you snuggle into his leg a little and he is smitten. You can stay there as long as you want. He loves this.

One of the other brothers will walk into the living room to find him staring at them with pleading eyes. He can’t get up because that would wake you but he ran out of snacks!!! Please save him brother!! No, not by waking MC up!!!

Belphegor

Buddyo this happens like every day.

Like, usually it’s him falling asleep in your lap but still.

He can work with this. He likes watching you sleep anyway.

It feels... restful. Like he’s the only one in the world who’s awake anymore, and there’s almost a magical feeling to it.

Time feels like it’s slowed down, and like the only sound in the world is the sound of your peaceful breaths.

He could stay like this forever, even if it meant being awake.

He may or may not peek in on your dreams to see if you’re thinking about him.

He really hopes you are.

It’s not long before he’s fallen asleep with you, though. He got jealous of you napping when he wasn’t lol

[ushidoux]

i saw that requests are open, so would it be possible for you to write about making out with suna? like that kinda make out where it goes nowhere but hands are roaming...

(sorry i’m really nervous making requests!)

Hi! I’m sorry that I didn’t get to this until now <333, don’t be nervous making requests, the worst that can happen is you get a no and there’s tons of people who would be willing instead!

warnings: above the belt fondling

---

The first time Suna kisses you, you’re caught off guard.

It’s not just because in a voice barely higher than a whisper, he interrupts your late-night philosophical musings for just a moment, and asks:

“Would you be upset if I kissed you right now?”

You’re so stunned that you let out a laugh, because what an odd joke but heat rises to your cheeks, and you whisper back:

"Why would I be?”

You’re caught off guard even further, because he actually goes through with it.

And he’s actually moving to kiss you suddenly in the parking lot of a fast food joint you’d driven to at 1 am, reaching over to the passenger seat of his car to taste the salt of the French fries still on your tongue.

You’re surprised because he kisses you with more passion than you’ve ever seen him display the entire time you’ve known him. The way with which he engulfs you is almost comically inappropriate, filled with much more intensity than befits a junk food run between childhood friends.

When his fingers press onto your scalp, gently pressing you against him to increase the depth of his tongue in your mouth, your head is spinning. A million thoughts run through your mind:

Why now? What does this mean? How long has he felt this way?

But you hope he’s felt this desire for at least halfway as long as you have, because this kiss is magical - there’s both release and relief that pass between you as you explore each other’s mouths, that fill the compact car and escape out through the slightly cracked windows.

In contrast to the cool breeze of earlier, there’s only warmth you feel inside you - the warmth of Rintaro’s tongue, the fire now in the pit of your belly, his hands tugging patiently and politely at the hem of your sweatshirt.

“Can I?” He pulls back to whisper again, lips just barely off yours.

At any other time, your automatic response to any question he asks you is a cheeky ‘I don’t know, can you?’ but in this very moment in time, all you do is nod.

His eyes look sleepier than usual as they gaze upon you with a heavy affection, and you wonder if you’re imagining all of this, because the notion of a sudden confession of love from your favorite person, under the moonlight seems like something more appropriate for dreams.

But this is real - real because you are so, so warm and the air is cold and he is warm and you have shivers from his touch, and because your arms are around his neck and you wish the space wasn’t so confined, because there are so many things you want to do to him and him to you.

But the moment in time ends, and Suna pulls back, not without a palm gently caressing the side of your face.

“We... we should get back since you have stuff to do in the morning.”

He’s right. You have a full day of work that lies ahead when you wake up.

But yet you’re pretty sure all you will be thinking about is tonight.

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

@sicktember Prompt # 20: Doctor Visit/Checkup

Title: The Best Medicine

Fandom: N/A

Based on this post by me. (Sick doctor)

A physician leaves work miserably sick. His RN girlfriend takes care of him.

(Author’s Note: This breaks the rule I set of less than 2k words but I wrote it before I decided to do this challenge and thought it worked well here. I just needed a sick doctor having PE performed on them ok 😅)

Due to the fact that it was 6:30 AM and she was still more asleep than awake, it took her a while to realize the man she was dating was standing behind her as she waited in line for coffee. However, in her defense, she had never seen him in this coffee line at this time of day before (and she herself was here at this time every day).

It wasn't until she heard a familiar, sniffly yawning noise that she turned and caught his eye. 

"Shane? What are you doing here? You're usually sleeping right now." She didn't go to greet him right away, mainly because she didn't want to lose her place in line, and only two people stood between her and caffeination.

He too looked startled, though happy to see her. "Molly, hey," he said. There was a squeaky rasp to his voice and he had to clear his throat before he could continue. "Had an early meeting that got cancelled at the last minute. Since I was already awake, figured I'd come into the office early and clear out my inboxes."

"Gotcha. Well cool, that means I get to treat you to coffee for once. You find a place to sit and I'll get the drinks."

He shot her a grateful look and stepped out of line.

Molly ordered, received, and paid for the coffees quickly, tipping generously, before going to join Shane. He kissed her on the cheek as he took his cup, and they shared a warm smile as they made their way to a little sitting area, sharing a bench against the wall.

"Kathy's coffee is the best in the hospital. You'll love this."

"So you've told me many times. I'm glad I finally get to try it. What did you get me?"

"A surprise. You'll like it, trust me."

"Cheers, then." With another smile, they tapped their cups together before taking long pulls of their beverages.

"This is delicious," he said after a moment. "Best I've ever had from here. Thanks, babe."

"My pleasure." They sat for a bit in companionable silence, sipping their drinks. However, Molly couldn't help but cast sidelong glances at her partner with increasing frequency. Now that she was next to him, she saw he looked quite unwell. He was pale and shivery, with a flush over his cheeks and ears, and looking overall rundown and uncomfortable, a far cry from his usual easy smile and warm, steady demeanor.

"Is everything ok, doc? You really don't look good."

"You're saying I look ugly today?" he countered teasingly, dodging the question. 

She nudged him playfully. "You're just as handsome as ever. I'm saying you look sick. Are you feeling ok?"

He shrugged. "Think I'm just tired. Not used to being up so early. My head and throat are kinda sore I guess."

"Just tired, huh?" She reached out and placed her palm to his forehead, then his flushed cheeks, and finally his neck, where she could feel the swollen lymph nodes she had already seen. She clicked her tongue scoldingly.

"That's a fever, Doctor Mitchell, and a high one at that. Why in the world did you come to work today?"

"No kidding, really?" Shane leaned back against the wall, rubbing his neck and looking sheepish. "I can't even remember the last time I had a fever. Had to have been before medical school. Guess I forgot what it feels like."

"Hmm. Well regardless, you need to go home. You can't risk infecting your patients and staff."

"Yeah, of course. I'll go now."

When he stood, she did as well, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Feel better. Get lots of rest and fluids."

"I know the drill," he rasped, smiling a little. "I am a physician."

"Sometimes I have my doubts, mister 'doesn't know what a fever feels like.' Sports medicine doesn't deal with the flu much." She kissed his shoulder fondly.

"Yeah, yeah." He pulled away, running his thumb over her jawline. "Thanks again for the coffee. I'll see you later. Text me when you have time. I'm sure I'll be bored out of my mind."

"Will do."

She watched him go wistfully, wishing she was going with him.

Naturally he wasn't far from her thoughts for the rest of the day. The hospital OB-GYN clinic was as busy as ever, and the hustle and bustle kept Molly, an RN, quite distracted, but every moment of downtime found her wondering how Shane was doing.

She texted him a few times as he requested. The first time he replied right away, saying he had made it home safely and was relaxing on the couch. The second time he replied a few hours later, saying how tired he was and how he really was starting to feel unwell, but he was doing fine. The third time he never replied.

Her plans for the weekend had been solidified in her mind as soon as she felt how feverish he was. She practically ran out the door as soon as she clocked out. Her first stop was her house to change clothes, shower, and gather some supplies. Her second stop was Shane's favorite soup and sandwich place for two quarts of soup and two sandwiches to go. From there, she headed to Shane's condo across town.

She hadn't informed him she was coming because she had wanted it to be a bit of a surprise. Initially her plan was to leave the soup and sandwich on the stoop and ring the bell, then duck out of sight until the last minute. However, her plan changed when she caught a glimpse of him through the front door.

He was fast asleep, sprawled out on his stomach on the couch. Bundled under two blankets and snoring with his mouth open, surrounded by a nest of used tissues and dishes, he was the picture of illness.

She didn't have the heart to wake him by knocking, so instead she used her copy of his house key to let herself in quietly, being careful not to let the cold air in with her. He didn't stir even after she shut and re-locked the door. After removing her coat, she deposited the items she had brought in the kitchen, then returned to his side. Perching on the edge of the couch, she ran her hand over his face and through his hair to wake him.

He stirred weakly, mumbling and snuffling as he opened his eyes. His face lit up upon seeing her, and he quickly sat up, leaning all of his sleepy, overly-warm weight against her for a tight hug.

"Molly, you're here! I'mb so habby to see you," he croaked earnestly.

She hugged him back just as tightly. "Of course I'm here. When you stopped replying to my texts, I knew I had to come check on you. You look so sick, poor guy, and you're so stuffed up. Are you surviving?"

He shrugged, pulling away. "I guess. I'mb doi'g ok. So achy and tired. Just been sleebi'g all day." He licked his cracked lips and tried to swallow, which resulted in a grimace. "Budt you should go, babe. I don'dt wandt you to catch this. It's ndasty."

As if to prove his point, he turned away from her to cough productively into his elbow, thick and chesty. He followed it up with a honking nose blow that was far less productive. She watched this display sympathetically.

"I'm not leaving you all alone and sick like this. And anyway, if I do get sick, I think I know a doctor who could take care of me." She bumped her shoulder against his. He smiled wanly. "Now, have you taken any medicine recently?"

He sheepishly averted his eyes. "Umb… ndo. I… don'dt really have anythi'g to take."

"Ugh, Shane. Don't tell me you're one of those 'it only treats the symptoms' purists."

"Ndo, it's ndot thad. Like I told you, I just haven't been sigck in years. I've never thought to buy cold mbedicine."

"You're such a guy," she sighed. "Even if you are a doctor. You at least got your flu shot right?"

"Yeah. Budt they're already sayi'g it's probably ndot goi'g to be very effective this year."

"Of course they are." She sighed again. "However, I had a hunch this would happen, so I came prepared." She quickly retrieved a bag from the kitchen which rattled with medications, sitting down beside him again. She selected the ones she wanted and shook them into his hand, watching closely as he swallowed them.

"You're acti'g like you don'dt trust mbe to take care of mbyself," he teased, taking several gulps of water to chase the pills. 

"That's not necessarily true. I just want to do everything possible to help you feel better."

He had to cough harshly again before he could answer, hard enough to redden his face. "I love thad you wandt to take care of mbe. Budt you should really go. I'mb so contagious right ndow, and I don'dt wandt to try to stay away from you."

"Then don't. I came here to be close to you. I don't care if I get sick. It's the weekend anyway. I'm here for you and only you. Besides, you were probably contagious yesterday too, and we still made out. So it doesn't matter anyway."

"You're too good to mbe," he mumbled, finally succumbing and leaning his full weight against her, closing his eyes as he wrapped his arms loosely around her. "Budt I still don'dt approve. You're staying AMA, just so we're clear."

"Call me a rebel, then," she murmured, stroking his sweaty hair.

He sneezed suddenly, only once, but wet and laborious, catching it in his elbow. She quickly pulled a tissue from the nearby box. He took it gratefully, blowing his stopped nose as best he could before resting against her again. He sighed deeply as she resumed her petting.

"You're lugcky the desire to be taken care of when sigck is a deebply ingrained biological traidt," he continued to mumble, sounding sleepier by the second.

"I am, huh? Well you're talking an awful lot for someone who has no voice."

She felt him smile against her, but he did fall silent for a while, aside from his sniffling and soft coughing. She thought he was going back to sleep when he spoke up again.

"You know whad would mbake mbe feel even better thad mbedicine? Sumb soubp."

"Hmm, well it just so happens you have a girlfriend who thinks of everything." She gently shifted him off of her, going back to the kitchen and returning with a quart of soup and a sandwich.

"Sal's chigcken rice?" he rasped, his eyes lighting up hungrily as he sat up straighter. 

"Naturally. We've been together almost two years. I know what you like when you're not feeling good."

"You're a lifesaver," he groaned, taking the proffered food and digging in right away.

"I'm glad you have an appetite anyway. I won't ever forget last year's stomach flu incident."

 "Ugh, don'dt rembind mbe," he said with a shudder. "Bud other than thad one time, I'll always have an abbetite for this soubp. This is all I've wanted all day." He wolfed down the food with unexpected vigor.

"Well then you're lucky I think of everything, like I said. And to think you wanted to kick me out."

"I ndever *wanted* you kigck you oud. I'm just goi'g to hade mbyself whed you ged sigck," he mumbled, swallowing a mouthful.

"Maybe I won't get sick, did you think of that? And like I've been saying--" She leaned in to kiss him fully on the mouth, long and hard, until he pulled away gasping. "--I don't care. As long as you promise to take care of me if I do, I won't complain about a few days off. So stop worrying."

"Ugh, take it easy babe," he moaned, pressing a hand to his forehead. "This fever has mby blood flow all mbessed ub. You can'dt be usi'g your lips on mbe like thad."

"Don't worry, I'm not planning to seduce you today. Unless you instigate it of course." She gave him a wicked look and he flushed. 

"You're something else, Mol," he muttered, unable to hide a smile.

"Just eat your 'soob'." 

He did what he was told while she tidied up his sick bed area. When he was almost done, she fetched another bag from the kitchen and began rummaging through it. He eyed the items she pulled out suspiciously.

"How much crabp did you bri'g? And whad are you doi'g ndow?"

"Something I've always wanted to do. And something I think will make you smile."

"I feel like I've been smili'g since you godt here."

It was Molly's turn to flush and smile. "Something that might make you laugh, then."

She sat close beside him on the couch with her stethoscope around her neck, placing a little tablet of paper and a pen in front of her on the table. 

"Constitution:" she both said this out loud and wrote it on the paper. "Well-nourished. Unwell appearing today. Complains of malaise and myalgia. Lymphatics:" 

She had been neatly writing everything down as she spoke. After the last word, she reached out to gently palate the visibly swollen lymph nodes in his neck. He moaned softly as she massaged them, the moan turning into a cough.

"Cervical lymphadenopathy noted. Lymph nodes tender to palpation." She wrote this down as well.

"Whad are you doi'g, Mol?"

"You get to be a doctor all the time. Today you're definitely the patient, so I'm taking my turn being the doctor and doing a physical exam on you. We need to make a diagnosis after all."

"Ah, of course. Mby apologies, please continue," he said with a little laugh, wiping his nose with a tissue.

"Thank you. Open your mouth please." Inserting a thermometer under his tongue, she also took his pulse with her watch as the thermometer calibrated. 

"Resting heart rate is elevated at 86 bpm. Temperature is abnormal at 101.8 degrees Fahrenheit."

"I could've told you thad. I just toogk my tembp before you godt here."

"I find that hard to believe since you were sleeping when I got here. Now shh. Actually say 'ah'." She situated a tongue depressor in his mouth, peering in. "Throat erythematous and inflamed," she said and wrote. "Now lean forward a bit if you would."

He did as he was told, looking slightly put-upon and she slid the diaphragm of her stethoscope under his worn university tee shirt, placing it on his back as she listened to him breathe for a moment. "Minor ronchi noted. No crackles or rales. Minimal concern for pneumonia at this time."

"Well thad's a relief," he said, sniffling wetly.

"Shh, I still need to listen to your heart," she said, sliding the diaphragm of the stethoscope around to his chest. 

"Terrible beside manner. I'm leavi'g a ndegative review."

She gave him her sternest "doctor" look. He merely smiled impishly. She sighed, biting back a smile of her own, and listened again.

"Normal rhythm. L-1, L-2 heard."

Setting aside the instruments, she slid her hands under his shirt, feeling gently.

"Skin is overly warm or feverish. Abdomen is soft, non-tender and non-distended."

"You didn't have to go under mby shirt, you know. Abdominal exam cad be done over clothi'g," he said, smirking.

"I was being… thorough," she said with a wink.

He chuckled hoarsely. "Someone's godt the hots for their patiendt. Thad's trouble," he murmured, stifling a yawn as he pulled his blanket closer around himself with a shiver. 

"Neurologic: grossly normal. Tremors noted due to chills. Psychiatric: patient is oriented to person, place, time. Behavior normal, but appears lethargic, fatigued and sleepy."

After writing down these final notes, she cuddled up beside him on the couch, wrapping him in her arms and pulling him close as he started shivering in earnest. He nestled against her wearily.

"How did I do?" she murmured. "Did I make you laugh a little at least?"

"Very thorough and efficiendt," he mumbled sleepily, coughing. "And yes you did. Whad's your diagnosis and treadtment plan, doctor?"

"At best a severe case of rhinovirus. I'm more inclined to think influenza due to the fever, but we'll continue to monitor. No active intervention needed at this time. Bed rest at home, OTC medication as needed and adequate hydration recommended." At this she handed him his water bottle. He drank several big gulps before handing it back to her and snuggling in again.

"If that's what the doctor orders," he sniffled, closing his eyes. 

She held him for a while, since that seemed to be all he wanted, just rubbing his back and stroking his hair. However, they were forced to move when Shane pulled away to break into one of his barking, painful coughing fits. He tried to settle again after the fact, making a face. 

"I don't feel good, Mol," he mumbled pathetically. "This sugcks."

"I know, doc. But I'm doing everything I can to help you feel better. I didn't realize your fever was so high though," she murmured. "And that was after you took medicine. But you seemed just fine yesterday. You don't do anything by halves, do you?"

"Thad's one of the reasons you have the hots for mbe, you know id is," he croaked.

"The only thing with the hots around here is that fever. You're sweltering."

"Sorry," he mumbled, yet made no effort to move off of her. Instead he sneezed wetly into his elbow.

"Update, you're sweltering *and* gross," she said conversationally. Yet she made no effort to move away from him either, kissing his forehead instead. He yawned as she did. "And sleepy."

"Thingk I'm just sigck," he muttered.

"Yeah, let's go with that. Do you want to go back to sleep right now?"

"Ndo. Ndot while you're here. I'm too sigck to sleeb anyway."

"There's no such thing as being too sick to sleep. But if you don't want to sleep right now, I have one more present for you." 

"You've already given mbe too mbuch."

"There's no such thing as that either." She carefully shifted out from under him again and attempted to head to the kitchen once more. Before she could take more than a step though, he caught her hand and made her turn around. Seeing his imploring look, she stepped back into the V of his legs. He wrapped his arms fully around her, burying his hot face in her abdomen. 

"Thangk you mbuch for the soubp and mbedicine, baby. You really are a lifesaver. I just wanted to tell you thad."

She nuzzled her face into his messy hair. "Anything to help you feel better. I can tell you're still miserable though."

"Nodt miserable with you here." 

"Just sick."

"Mhm," he mumbled, sleepily as ever. She let him hold her for another moment or two before speaking again.

"Seriously though, I have something else I want to give you. It'll just take a second to grab."

"Fine," he sighed. As he pulled away, she saw a hazy, pre-sneeze look cross his face. Sure enough, as she trotted to the kitchen, behind her she heard him emit a pair of messy, rough sneezes.

"That soup really got your nose going, huh?" she asked as she reentered the living room.

"Guess so," he sniffled, blowing his nose thickly. "Thad's the poindt though, right?"

"Indeed it is." She moved to the entertainment center and quickly plugged her laptop into the TV.

"Now whad are you doi'g?"

"Maybe you should stop asking questions and just wait and see."

"You know I hade surprises."

"That's not true at all in my experience, so I'm calling your bluff on that one. But you won't have to wait long for this one either way."

After a few setting changes to allow the laptop display to be projected on the TV, Molly popped a disk into the drive and started it up.

"Are we watchi'g somethi'g?"

"You and your questions." She tossed a thick DVD case into his lap. He picked it up, his eyes widening happily.

"The original Jurassic Park trilogy? Holy crabp, this is awesome!"

"I'm glad you approve," she laughed, stepping into his arms again. "It was going to be your Christmas present, but I figured a sick day at home is an even better occasion."

"This is perfect, love. You're ambazing," he mumbled, squeezing her tightly.

"Anything for my best guy." She nuzzled his hair again fondly. "Anything to help you sleep."

"I don'dt wandt to sleeb while you're here though. I don'dt wandt to mbiss out on seei'g you."

"Well then you're in luck, because I'm planning on staying here all weekend. So I'll be here when you fall asleep and when you wake up. No time wasted at all."

A grin split his face. "You'd do thad for mbe?"

"I wouldn't dream of doing otherwise. Doctors need to be looked after too, especially by their nurse girlfriends. So you stretch out and get comfortable and leave the rest to me."

"You're cooler than anadomy and dinosaurs combined, you know thad?"

Molly giggled happily. "I don't know if I'll ever come back from such high praise. You better quit while you're ahead, Dr. Mitchell."

"Only if you promise to make mbe coffee in the morni'g. Your good coffee."

"Sounds like a plan," she said with a grin and another kiss.

[one-chicago-fanfiction]

Hi! How are you? I had one theory, but it’s a sad one and for the things that are happening so far I don’t think is going to happen, so i would like to hear what you have in mind?

Hey, sweet anon.

Aside from having a cold and being sleepier than usual, I’m doing okay. I have no general life complaints. I am also struggling to reconcile this with the fact that Wednesday is coming. I love seeing the theories that Jay will become a sergeant of another unit, or a teacher at the academy, and will come home to Hailey every night. Unfortunately, my theory is different.

Fair warning, I got a little sad writing this.

So my theory was also quite sad, but I’m not sure it’ll happen this way either, which is probably good lol. But it was based on a couple things. So there was word that a casting call was put out for a Jay Halstead lookalike, which led people to think we might get some blurry shots of “dollar store Jay” in the background of his and Hailey’s apartment going forward, which would support the idea of a promotion/transfer to another unit.

In an interview with some of the med cast, however, Nick said that part of Will’s storyline this season will involve him missing his brother, and that Goodwin will be sympathetic about this. He also said that Will will be “hopeful about it.” So, given that it includes Goodwin’s sympathy, and Will being hopeful (meaning there is also the opposing option for him to lose hope entirely) I had the thought that maybe Jay gets injured and ends up in a coma/hospitalised long term. This would also give the lookalike a place to show up, blurry in the background of the hospital room Will visits rather than in the apartment with Hailey. We do have to remember that I’m a fanfic writer though and the most dramatic, upsetting options tend to spring forward first 😂

I’m not sure where I stand on this theory now, but that’s the only theory that came to me that wasn’t about promotions and unit changes etc. I also have a horrible feeling they might have him reenlist, given that next episode is gonna bring up things from his time in the army. I would hate that for him, look at what he went through after getting out the first time. I already disagreed with their plot of having Mouse reenlist after everything he went through. I would also hate for him to be lying there in a coma, and based on the promo where Hailey is crying, it looks to me like he could be telling her he’s leaving for whatever reason. The coma idea is the stuff of fanfic tbh, but based on Nick’s words in that interview (which I will try to add a link to later on), I think Jay is leaving Chicago, and the only reason I can think of for this, which would relate in any way to the current plots being offered, would be army related.

I’m gonna miss Jay Halstead so much. I know we all will. A decade is a long time and he’s been a lot more than just a character on a show for me, as he has for lots of us. Writing Jay fanfic has helped me through some stuff over the years. I used to walk to work at 3am (a terrible job) watching fan videos of him because 3am is a scary and depressing time to be walking to work. I came out as trans around the time this franchise started and when asking myself what kind of guy I wanted to be, Matt Casey and Jay Halstead were up there in a lot of ways, big parts of both of them. I love what they did for Casey with his exit. I hate what they’re already doing to Jay these last two episodes. Maybe he’ll leave because he realises he’s started down a path he doesn’t recognise in himself, and he wants to rediscover who he really is at heart, but sending him out to be retraumatised isn’t the way to do this. Even Voight once told him this unit would be his someday. I hate that it won’t be. I’m struggling to even get started on a story about him because look what it’s all coming to. Maybe once the episode has aired and we can all process things a little.

Genuinely, anon, thank you for asking ❤️ if you’d like, please feel free to share your theory with me too. If you don’t want me to share it, let me know in the ask and I’ll just read it over.

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Sleep

Mammon x gn!MC

Words - 2286

Content warnings - none, just lots of fluff and humor, platonic relationships

Prompt/Inspiration - AO3 request

Summary -  Mammon starts sleeping in your room at night, and you notice a peculiar habit of his.

AO3

You were a light sleeper. A very, very light sleeper.

There had been several times during your stay at the House of Lamentation when Mammon scared the living daylights out of you by crawling into your bed in the middle of the night. Eventually, you just flat out told Mammon that he had to sleep with you because you were not going to be able to rest otherwise. He stuttered and blushed and fumbled over his words, denying that he had any idea what you were talking about, but in the end, he had taken up semi-permanent residence in your room.

When you start sharing a bed with someone on a regular basis, you begin to learn a lot about them that you wouldn’t know otherwise. Like whether they hog the blankets, if they prefer sheets over thick comforters, if they snore. And you, likewise, started to notice some very peculiar traits of Mammon’s.

For example, he preferred to sleep entirely nude. Of course now that he was sleeping in your room most of the time, he made the effort to wear something. But it wasn’t unusual for him to wake up in noticeably fewer clothes than when he had fallen asleep.

One night in particular, you were about to learn yet another thing about Mammon.

————

Mammon had fallen asleep long before you, and you had stayed up to keep reading a book you had borrowed from Satan. As you got sleepier and sleepier you realized that maybe it was time you called it a night. So you rolled over to turn your lamp off, only to find that you couldn’t reach it because a certain demon of Greed was starfished on the bed, essentially trapping you in a corner.

You thought for a moment about what you should do about this situation you found yourself in. At first, you didn’t want to disturb Mammon. His sleeping face was just so cute! But you were tired. And despite the fact he looked absolutely adorable next to you now, this was the same little shit that woke you up frequently for reasons much more frivolous.

“Pssst, Mammon. Wake up,” you nudged him with your elbow. When he didn’t stir, you gave him a bit of a kick with your foot. And when he still didn’t wake up, you put your hand on his shoulder and gently shook him.

“Wassup?” he finally answered as he sat up in bed.

“Turn off the light.”

“‘K.”

Having successfully woken him up, and trusting that he could manage a light switch on his own, you rolled over, turning your back to him, preparing to go to sleep. But after a good minute or two, you realized the light was still on. So you rolled over halfway, and repeated your request.

“Mammon, the light.”

“Right. Right. Gotcha.” And with that he finally reached over to the lamp and flicked it off, before snuggling back into your blankets and curling up behind you.

————

The following morning, you were the first to wake up. You looked over to Mammon, who was still taking up a good ¾ of the bed, and you couldn’t help but smile. It really was nice waking up with someone else beside you. Even if that someone was a bed hog.

When Mammon woke up a few minutes later, it was only to find you staring at him. He blushed awkwardly as he looked away, which just made you laugh.

“Whattaya lookin’ at?”

“Oh just a cute demon, hogging the bed.”

“Oh...uh...sorry,” he replied, pulling his limbs to himself as he rolled on his side away from you.

“It’s fine. So long as you are willing to turn the light off for me,” you said, smiling and laughing softly, as you snuggled up next to Mammon, wrapping your arm around his waist and spooning him from behind.

“The light?”

“Yeah, like last night when I was reading. If you’re gonna hog the bed, then be prepared to be woken up to turn off the light.”

Mammon rolled over a little to get a better look at you, certain that you had to be teasing him or setting him up for a joke or...something. But you were just smiling at him like normal.

“What’s up?” you asked.

“I dunno whatcha talkin’ about. I didn’t turn off a light last night.”

“Umm yeah you did. You even sat up and talked to me.”

“Noooo I didn’t…” he furrowed his brow in confusion. What on earth were you trying to pull?

“Ok fine. It doesn’t matter. The deal still stands. Hog the bed, be put on light switch duty. K?” you asked, leaning forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek, something that you knew would fluster him.

“Uh yep. Got it. Light switch duty,” he said as he rolled back over to hide his face from you. Without even meaning to, he shifted back slightly so that he was pressed more fully against you, and you simply smiled and hugged him in return. You were such a brat sometimes...kissing him on the cheek like that out of nowhere. You could at least warn him. Not that he liked it or anything.

While you did find it a little odd that Mammon didn’t remember the light incident, you just wrote it off as one of those things. It’s not like it mattered whether or not he remembered, anyways.

————

A few days later, you returned to your room after a study session with Satan only to find Mammon already passed out on your bed, once again leaving very little space for you. It occurred to you then that perhaps he was doing this on purpose so that you’d have to sleep practically on top of him, so you decided to have a bit of fun.

Instead of crawling over him, you climbed in next to him by the edge of your bed, and poked him in the side.

His reaction was immediate. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes...and then he just sat there.

“Mammon? You can lay back down.”

He mumbled something.

“Mammon?”, you sat up to get a better look at him. His eyes were open, but only just, and his gaze was unfocused, “You can lay down now.”

“I don’t wanna,” he whined.

“Mammon, are you still asleep?”, you had heard of sleepwalking before, but this was a whole new level of weird.

“Nooo.”

Sensing that it was perhaps better not to argue with him, you laid down in your bed and tugged on his shirt to get him to join you, “Come cuddle with me then so I can go to sleep.”

Without further complaint, Mammon complied and curled up next to you, resting his head on your chest and wrapping his arm around your middle. It didn’t take him long at all to fall back asleep, leaving you even more certain that he must not have been fully awake to begin with.

————

After that, there weren’t any more unusual episodes with Mammon for awhile, so you had almost forgotten about the whole thing.

That is until one night when you had been just about to fall asleep, and a notification came thru in your DDD. Usually you would put your device on silent when going to sleep, but tonight you had been so exhausted that you forgot. So when the notification went off - it was LOUD.

Mammon immediately sat up, dazed.

“Sorry about that,” you said, turning the sound off on your DDD.

“Fin stis.”

“Huh?”

“Den sai tis id.”

“Mammon, I think you are asleep.”

“Noooo! Am not!!!”, Mammon replied, as he started to act like he was about to get out of bed. Concerned about the sort of trouble he could get himself in while in this state you tried your best to stop him.

“Mammon, where are you going?”

He didn’t answer, but at least he stopped trying to get up.

“I think you’re asleep. Please, don’t get up.”

“I’m not asleep!” he snapped. You were surprised by the tone of voice he was using with you. Yeah he was loud and yelled a bunch, but you had never seen him actually angry with you. Not wanting to provoke him further, you decide to drop the issue and try what had worked the last time this happened.

“Ok Mammon, then just cuddle with me.”

“Fine.”

“Yeah, just lay back down with me so I can sleep.”

There was incoherent grumbling from Mammon as he wiggled back under the covers, still clearly annoyed with you for accusing him of being asleep when he knew he wasn’t.

“We can talk in the morning. Just cuddle for now.”

Once he was laying down again, you cuddled up next to him and wrapped your arm around his waist, hoping it would at least give you some warning if he would try to get up again.

————

“Sooooo, Mammon. Do you remember last night?”

“Huh?” Mammon turned around to look at you from his seat on the floor by your bed. It was Saturday morning, and he was browsing Akuzon on his DDD, trying to decide what to buy with his latest modeling paycheck. You had been laying on your bed, “helping” him with his shopping by occasionally texting him suggestions that you found. They might not have been the most helpful suggestions, but at least they were making the two of you laugh.

“You yelled at me,” you said, turning off your DDD and turning your head to look at Mammon.

“Whattya talkin’ about?? Why would I yell at you??”

“Because I told you that you were sleeping.”

“You’re makin’ that up.”

“Mammon, have you ever had trouble with sleepwalking?” you were genuinely curious if perhaps some of the things he got accused of were the result of him wandering the House of Lamentation unconsciously in the middle of the night.

“Huh?! No! Of course not! What are ya trying to pull? Seriously, is this like a joke or somethin’?”

“No, I’m telling you - you got woken up by a notification on my DDD, and when I tried to get you to go back to sleep, you yelled at me.”

“There’s no way that happened. I woulda remembered it.” Mammon eyed you suspiciously. He was sure this had to be a prank of some sort, though he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what the punch line would be. Why were you being so insistent?

“Well it did,” you mumbled under your breath. If he was going to be so stubborn, you were just going to have to prove it to him. The next time - you were going to catch it on video.

————

Not wanting to wait until Mammon would have one of his “episodes” on his own, you decided you’d have to try to trigger one yourself. Based on your observations, you needed to wait until he was *just* asleep, and then wake him suddenly - either a moderately loud noise, or a forceful movement.

So the following night, you made sure your DDD was fully charged...and you waited.

It didn’t take long for Mammon to pass out. You had made sure he spent the day running around the Devildom taking you shopping, and doing other “date” things, just to wear him out. And since this was Mammon, it took a LOT to wear him out. If it wasn’t for the fact you were on a mission, you’d probably have nodded off yourself long ago.

You pulled out your DDD, turned on your camera to record video…and then delivered a swift kick to Mammon’s butt.

As expected, Mammon sat up almost immediately.

“Hey Mammon.”

“Mmmm?”

“Are you asleep?”

“Nooo,” he whined. You snickered at his response. This was going perfectly.

“I need you to do something for me in the morning.”

“Sure, whattttayaaa want?”

“Can you make me breakfast?”

“Sure.”

“So what are you going to do in the morning?”

“Everryyythinnnn.”

“Are you going to make me breakfast?”

“That’s part of everrryyythinnn’.”

By now you were having a difficult time maintaining your composure. You only just managed to keep your DDD steady enough to get a decent video. You hadn’t tried talking to Mammon this much the other times, and were surprised at how long he was able to keep this up. Seeing as you had nothing to lose, you decided to keep going.

“Can you say it for me in a complete sentence? What are you going to do in the morning?”

“Breakfast and bugggsss.”

“What?”

“Breakfast and bugggsss.”

“Bugs?”

“Yesh.”

“So one more time, what are you going to do in the morning?”

“Killlll everythinnnn’.”

That was apparently your breaking point, and you had to cover your mouth to stop the loud squeals of laughter that weren’t threatening to escape. This had gone far more perfectly than you ever could have imagined. There was no way he was going to be able to deny this now. Imagining how red his face would get as you showed him the video had you giggling even harder.

Pausing your recording, and safely tucking away your DDD, you decided that you had had enough fun for the night and that it was time to give poor Mammon a break and let him rest.

“Ok Mammon, will you come cuddle with me now?”

“Fiiinnneee,” he said, slumping down onto the bed and rolling over so he could snuggle up to your side. You really had exhausted him that day, so he deserved a bit of rest. Gently combing your fingers through his hair, you thought about how exactly you were going to make use of this video as you drifted off to sleep.

Based on this conversation with my husband -

[7wanderingpaws]

Always, yours (6) M

Word count: 9.5K (!)

Warnings: language, mature content, angst 

tags: @geniusloey @taemin-jaemin @wooya1224 @f4ncyvelvet

Masterlist / story masterlist

<– Previous

“Is it still happening?” 

Your doctor was surprised when you were sitting in her office. The triplets were with Baekhyun who was standing just beside your chair. On his chest and back he had Jun and Juna and Junhee was in the basket carrier, for once sleeping peacefully.

You nodded, trying not to feel ashamed. It wasn’t your fault that you were overproducing milk. “It seems like it doesn’t have a proper schedule. After I breastfeed or pump it starts leaking again.”

Your doctor nodded seriously, frowning. “Did you release breast milk when the babies cry? Or perhaps after an orgasm?”

Her question made you beetroot red in the face and you quickly looked down on your connected hands , suddenly feeling hot and embarrassed.

You doctor let out a little chuckle, mumbling a “cute” when you felt Baekhyun’s comforting hand on your shoulder. To your utter horror, he replied: “She releases milk at any time of the day but during sex she was complaining about feeling the pressure in her breasts. I helped her out with it so that we could carry on,” he informed, not ashamed at all.

It made you remember the time when he was shy to ask whether you two could have sex during your pregnancy. And now he said this. A typical  upgrade of a parent. You lose all sense boundaries. You did the deed and now you have kids. As simple as that.

Your eyes widened. “Well, yes, that’s true. I felt pressure during eh, sex, and I knew there would be a release so…”

“That is totally natural, nothing to be embarrassed about,” reassured you the doctor kindly. “It’s only normal for the father to try the breast milk, even more so during sexual intercourse.” She paused for a moment. “So, this is what we are gonna do - we will try a block feeding technique. You will have to empty your breasts every morning, and then try feeding your little ones. If Jun is still struggling with refluxes, this should help. He is very small but if he feeds well and correctly, I’m sure he will be just fine.”

You nodded, still feeling worried. Jun was doing well but sometimes the milk wouldn’t sit well with him which would cause the reflux.

“The first dosage of the milk consists of lactose, the fat comes quite later on during the feeding process. You are feeding three mouths, so naturally there are gaps in between and each baby can get a different intake.”

“So my wife can still breastfeed, right?” asked Baekhyun, his hand caressing your shoulder gently. You enjoyed the touch; it reminded you that you were in this together.

“Yes, of course. This technique should not be done longer than five days, however, so make sure to check for any improvements, alright?” When you nodded, she said: “I’ll examine your breasts, now, if you’ll please move to the bed and remove your top and bra.”

Ah, how much was this uncomfortable but you got used to it completely. Everyone present in the room knew your breasts very well. It almost seemed like they knew them better than you did.

“You can also try to start using formula,” suggested gently the doctor as you took off your shirt and unclasped your bra. You were sitting on the bed in front of her, the colder air in the room creating goosebumps. “There is nothing wrong with that.”

“I know,” you murmured, shivering at the air hitting your warm skin.

“Oh, dear, you lost quite some weight,” she said when she took a better look. “Aren’t we thinking too much about the babies and too little about our mummy, hm?” she asked in a chastising tone but with a motherly smile.

You stole a glance at Baekhyun who was caressing Jun’s head, playing with the thin baby hair, while giving you a thoughtful look.

<3

“Thank you for coming with us today,” you told Baekhyun once you finally made it home. Triplets fell asleep during the transfer, so you were trying to eat late lunch before they would wake up.

“Sweetheart,” murmured Baekhyun with a frown and he stepped closer to you, stopping you from slurping the warm soup he heated up. “What do you mean? Of course I’d come. I’m your husband.”

You shrugged, not looking him in the eye. “I know but still… I guess your job is important-“

“No, it isn’t important. It isn’t more important than you are,” he murmured gently and caressed your cheek, expecting you to look at him but you didn’t. “What’s wrong? Why wouldn’t you look at me?”

Slowly, you dragged your eyes up to meet his down-turned ones, soft and gentle. “Just a lot in my head’s all. Our parents will be arriving in a few days so I need to clean up.”

The fact that you were getting anxious because of many things happening at the same time made you not want to talk about it. Taking care of the babies, welcoming your family, making a comfortable home for them while they were there - it was a little too much.

“I’ll do that, okay? You can start the laundry but I don’t want you to stress about this, am I clear?” His voice wasn’t stern but it was strict enough for you to nod obediently, preferring the idea of Baekhyun doing all the work while you could rest a little bit.

“Good,” he smiled, satisfied, “and now give me a kiss.”

You managed to smile as you strained your neck, kissing him over the bar table. He hummed in appreciation, prolonging the precious moment.

“Now eat,” he ordered teasingly and you laughed breathily when you sat down, your tummy rumbling with hunger.

You were eating in peaceful silence, the clinking of cutlery the only noise in the apartment. The day was barely half-way done but you felt tiredness creeping up your limbs; the more you ate, the sleepier you became.

When you and Baekhyun finished, you stood up, leaving the dishes on the table and walked over to him, taking his arm in your hands and gently pulling on it. “Let’s have a little nap together, I’m tired.”

Baekhyun observed you with amusement. “Of course. I’ll just clean up and follow you.”

You pouted and shook your head, widening your eyes at him as you dragged him out of the kitchen and straight into your bedroom. He laughed as he let you, and when you reached the bed you slipped under the covers, the AC having cooled down the apartment into the perfect cuddling temperature. Baekhyun followed you and once the both of you made yourselves comfortable, you found your way to him, your head resting on his chest while he tucked your head under his chin.

“Sleep, sweetheart,” he cooed into your hair. “You’ve had a long day already.”

You hummed and completely melted at the way he rubbed your back in slow, dragging motions. His scent and slow heartbeat finally made you lose conscious, dreamland welcoming you with open arms.

<3

“Look at these outfits!” Sukyeong pushed her phone into your face excitedly and you tried to not show your discomfort too obviously. You frowned with a pout as you observed a gorgeous summer dress on a model, the slit of the skirt revealing her long legs. “You’d look stunning in it!”

You sighed and reached for your cup of green tea. You were sitting in a posh tea house where one needed a reservation in order to be able to get in. Sukyeong always had your back and she promised to pay. Hence you didn’t bother looking at the price tag that went over 30.000won per one serving “You know I’d look horrible.”

She shook her head resolutely but her eyes were trained on the screen as her finger was eagerly scrolling through an endless Instagram feed with beautiful women. “You can pull off any look.”

Biting your lip, you nodded, feeling your eyes burn up with frustrating tears. Sukyeong was a great friend. But she was never a mother and had never been through a pregnancy. And it showed.

“You lost a lot of weight,” she finally looked up at you and put her phone away when she spotted your red eyes. “Since the last time I saw you- do you even eat?”

Not wanting to talk, you averted your gaze to the surroundings, noting how the tea room was peaceful. There were lots of issues within you that you refused to address, and none of them was about having triplets. Everything had to do with you.

“Oh, dear, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you the past couple of weeks,” she told you, reaching for your hand.

“No, no, you have your own life. I barely had time to think, I was so busy.”

“I feel like a lot has happened during that time,” she murmured with worry, observing your pale cheeks. Sukyeong knew you for quite a while. She knew you as a determined and happy woman, very independent. Now she thought that she saw someone who really needed someone. “Is everything okay with you and Baek?”

“It’s great!” you replied quickly.

“What happened?” she asked with even more worry and this time your tears grew like sprouts, escaping your eyes. “Shh, if you don’t want to talk about it-“

“There is so much going on and at the same time…” you shrugged, not sure how to express yourself, “...nothing is happening at all.”

Sukyeong gave you some time to collect your thoughts for which you were grateful. As much as she could be a little too excited, she knew when to shut up and listen.

“A couple of weeks ago Junho appeared at our doorstep in the morning, he came with a sweater that didn’t belong to me, and Baekhyun didn’t take it too well. We had a fight. Since then, yeah,” you sighed, tapping at your wet cheeks, “it’s all weird.”

Sukyeong was silently looking at the smoothness of the table, at the tea pots filled with fresh green tea.

“It’s fine, nothing worrisome I guess,” you  added, not wanting to sound like the party pooper.

She murmured your name, and looked at you with something that looked like guilt in her eyes. “I need to tell you something…”

“Yeah? What is it?” you asked nonchalantly.

She sighed, closing her eyes for a second before she had to face your obliviousness. “It’s me who sent Junho to your house.”

“What!” you gasped so loudly some people turned to look at you, and Sukyeong quickly brought her chair closer to you, seeking a little privacy from the prying eyes.

“I gave him the sweater and told him to visit you! But my intentions were…” she trailed off, looking like a kid caught with a cookie.

“What the hell? What were your intentions?”

Oh boy, you looked pissed. Your eyes were burning up with anger.

“I wanted Baekhyun to meet him and… and… well, you know, bring some fire into your relationship-“

“Jesus Christ, Sukyeong!” you groaned, mad at her but still unable to fight the furious blush at her words. “That’s ridiculous! Me and Baek are married in case you forgot,” you added in a loud whisper. “It’s not like he just knocked me up and left!”

“I know, I know, but he was always MIA and I didn’t want him to neglect my best friend! You’re left alone with three kids!”

“What’s that have to do with making Baekhyun jealous? We had a huge fight and our relationship has been a little angsty since then.” Well, from your point of view at least. Baekhyun acted like all was fine but you couldn’t tell whether he really acted or he was actually that clueless about the underlying issues you both had. Let alone, the fight was nasty and you still had a lot on your mind to tell him but refrained from speaking up. You didn't even finish the talk after the huge fight like he said he wanted to do.

“Just so you know, you’re way too lenient about him and his darn professor job. You’ve got three babies for Christ’s sake.”

“But we need money! I’m not working and he is the only source of income we have. We live in that darn upscale apartment but at what cost? It’s hard to keep up with that and with three babies that need a nappy change almost every second hour of the day.”

“I understand it’s hard but Baekhyun does not work hard enough for you.”

Your nose prickled in an instant because she hit the right spot. You promptly looked away, wanting to avoid her fiery gaze.

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

Your silence told Sukyeong more than enough. She sighed and crossed her legs. “What was the fight about? You said after Junho appeared you had a fight.”

After several seconds of hesitation you told her. The highlight, of course, was Baekhyun’s harsh words about your jealousy when in fact it was all pregnancy issues at the time.

“No way he said that,” she mumbled in astonishment, her eyes looking somewhere far in the distance. “He dared to twist something like that?”

You could only shrug again. “It’s already resolved. We talked it out, he apologized and I’m not planning to keep grudges against him. I can’t fight with him, Sukyeonga. If I do, it feels like I’m going against everything that is me. He is part of me.”

Sukyeong could only sigh; both in affection and slight frustration. She knew how much of a strong relationship you and Baekhyun shared, but as your close friend she was worried. As much as she trusted Baekhyun and considered him a close friend as well, he was still a man.

“You need to be stronger than that,” she told you finally with a gentle tone as she held your hand. “I’m not implying anything more, just that you should always know your worth. Even when you are head over heels for each other.”

You sighed, though a little frustratingly. “I understand what you are trying to say, Sukyeonga. I really do…”

“You need to find a hobby or a job. I know you can’t do much with triplets needing your care and even sitters are pricey-“

“I’m not leaving my kids with a sitter!”

“-so you need to find work that you could do from home.”

Another sigh left your lips, your body completely deflating. “I’m already looking around for possible jobs but yeah… I’m tied down for a bit, at least until the munchkins are a little older and can start the kindergarten.”

Sukyeong nodded in understanding. “Whatever it will be like in the future, I'll support you. And make sure to show Baekhyun you’re not tied down to him.”

<3

The time for Baekhyun’s graduation ceremony came very fast. It was a given when every day became identical with the previous one. However, the anxiety you’d been feeling due to your family arriving was just rising by each day and you didn’t like the uncomfortable pressure it left you within your chest. With crying babies, and a lot to plan for their grandparents, you felt a little suffocated. Baekhyun, even though being home a lot more just as he promised, was not that much of a consolation. You had anxiety and you didn’t even realize it.

“I’m going to go pick them up at Seoul station,” told you Baekhyun when the time came. He had his phone and wallet prepared and he was walking over to you, seated in the living room where you were feeding Jun. Gradually, you were changing their feeding habits, mixing in some formula for the babies that were growing like mushrooms after rain.

You felt your eyes burn up with tears. For whatever reason. “Okay, update me when you’re with them.”

He hummed and leaned over you, his hand resting behind you on the backrest, wafting the faint mix of his perfume and baby detergent your way. “We’ll be back with you soon.”

You finally looked up when you felt him puckering his lips for an expecting kiss. He saw the way your eyes glistened and he moved away slightly.

“Babe, are you crying? What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, frustration rising. “I’m good. I’ll be good by the time you’ll come home. I’m just-“ you stopped abruptly, shaking your head. “I’m fine there is no need to overthink this.”

“Shh, sweetheart, you’re blabbering right now,” he sat down next to you, bringing his free hand up to your cheek. “Calm down.”

You squeezed your eyes shut and you unintentionally squeezed Jun as well. He let out a little cough and you quickly eased up the hold, not wanting him to get sick.

“Give me Jun and tell me what’s wrong,” suggested Baekhyun with worried eyes. He reached out for the baby only for it to whine when he tried to disattach his little mouth from your nipple. “Junnie, let mummy go for a bit.”

You kept crying, tears creating small waterfalls on your cheeks. Letting your head drop back on the backrest of the sofa, you felt Jun finally disattach, his crying growing with every second he spent without his milk.

Baekhyun tried to shush him while his other hand brought your shirt up to cover your chest. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“I’m so nervous and I don’t even know why,” you finally said, the wailing growing more and more irritating , causing small ringing in your ears. “I feel like too much is happening at the same time and I don’t know if I can welcome all of them here while at the same time taking care of the babies!”

Baekhyun was looking at you as he maneuvered Jun into a proper position, his head on his shoulder, his hand gently tapping the crying baby on his back. It was important to recognize when the baby was just greedy and when they really needed to feed. He was aware that you had been sitting with him for a while. “We are in this together, okay? Your priority is always the kids. I’ll take care of the rest- I thought we talked about this?”

“I know! But the house will be so full and busy and overwhelming and I just don’t want them to judge me as a mother and the way I take care of our kids and maybe they won’t like where they’ll sleep-“

“Did you already forget where we come from?” asked Baekhyun seriously and with that your crying ceased. When Baekhyun noticed, he added: “Our parents are anything but judgemental of the city life we live here. If you think they’ll judge the fact that they can sleep on a comfortable bed instead of the floor, then I don’t know if you grew up in the same village like me.”

You looked at him with red, puffy eyes. Jun was whimpering but soon a good burp followed and it made you and Baekhyun a little relieved. No reflux and a good burp. The perfect baby. “I’m sorry I’m just…” your lip trembled again, because you would never forget where you came from. What you and Baekhyun had now was so special, you forgot how a simple life was back home.

“You’re overwhelmed, I understand,” he told you, the gentleness back in his voice now. He reached out with his other hand for your thigh and squeezed it while he supported Jun’s butt with the other one. “I promise I’ll take care of everything. You do you, you do your motherly job and we will be all here to help you. They’ll most probably steal the munchkins away from us anyway,” he laughed softly.

You nodded, sniffing. “You’re right.” I hope they do, you added in your head but you hated yourself immediately for it. You desperately  wanted alone time but admitting it out loud would make you feel like a terrible mother. “You should go, honey, let them not wait for you.”

He nodded and caressed Jun a little longer before pressing a kiss to his temple and handing him back to you. “Kiss,” he demanded when you accepted the baby, and you smiled tiredly. You pressed your lips to his smooth cheek and he gave you a boyish smile.

And so, just like that the time passed with Baekhyun’s promises kept. You were relieved to hug your parents and always happy to see Baekhyun’s carefree mother and father.

When you were all at the venue, the huge hall full of older and younger people, you couldn’t help the excitement that was boiling in the pit of your tummy, mixed with anxiety. Baekhyun had to leave the apartment earlier to prepare, and thanks to your parents and in-laws you could make it safely to the busy event.

He nodded and caressed Jun a little longer before pressing a kiss to his temple and handing him back to you. “Kiss,” he demanded when you accepted the baby, and you smiled tiredly. You pressed your lips to his smooth cheek and he gave you a boyish smile.

And so, just like that the time passed with Baekhyun’s promises kept. You were relieved to hug your parents and always happy to see Baekhyun’s carefree mother and father.

When you were all at the venue, the huge hall full of older and younger people, you couldn’t help the excitement that was boiling in the pit of your tummy, mixed with anxiety. Baekhyun had to leave the apartment earlier to prepare, and thanks to your parents and in-laws you could make it safely to the busy event.

You managed to survive the ceremony with babies either looking around with curious stares or eventually falling asleep. There was only one moment when Junhee felt like scrunching up her face, letting you know she was not happy. A whimper left her and when you felt some people turning their heads you were fast to take her in your arms. Her small hands immediately tangled up in your hair because as you reached down it fell over your shoulder. 

You shushed her quietly while she made sure to let you know you would have to work harder for her to shut up. So as you bounced gently on your feet to lull her into inactivity, you caught eyes with Baekhyun who was smiling at the sight of you from afar. He was seated there, on the stage, with other masters and doctoral students. They weren’t that many altogether, but they all still heard you nonetheless.

Reciprocating the smile while feeling like you had an intimate moment with your husband, while Junhee was pulling on your hair, Baekhyun chuckled and looked back at the dean doing his closing speech, paying attention.

You sighed, realizing your elevated heart beat thanks to him. Baekhyun’s golden band on his finger shone as his hands were resting on his thighs. Your own band was, as always, comfortably sitting on your fourth finger, that same hand patting Junhee on her small bum gently.

Being at this stage with the munchkins, they were growing to like nonsense talking. You always let them converse away at home, but Junhee really felt like speaking her mind about the dean’s speech.

Gradually, more people paid attention to you rather than to the dean. You tried to shush her quickly, exchanging looks with your mother sitting on the edge seat of the row. She had an endearing smile on her face so it managed to calm you down.

Being with talkative triplets, well in this case just one out of three, came with attention.

“Baby girl, be quiet, hm?” you whispered, puckering your lips against her temple, still bouncing on your heels. “Pay attention to daddy,” you prompted but fruitlessly. “He is right there, aha-“ you turned to point your finger where Baekhyun was seated, not too far away.

Junhee pushed her fingers into her mouth as she blabbered before taking the same hand out of her mouth and smacking you with it on your cheek. Great.

“Junhee, look, daddy,” you shushed in her ear and once again pointed with your finger at your husband. You had his full attention now given how almost everyone could hear the baby talk.

Baekhyun waved cutely, smiling widely, his eyes small crescents. He sent her air kisses and you noticed Junhee watching him intently.

“D-d-d-d…” she kept murmuring and you giggled. Just then she let out a huge, screechy squeal, making you flinch away from the loudness.

“Shhh,” you tried but the dean stopped talking, looking your way now. You felt your heart drop at the attention and you took a few steps back, signaling to your mum that you’ll be outside with her so you wouldn’t disturb anymore.

“What a lively baby in the audience tonight!” pointed the dean, making everyone laugh. You managed to let out an uneasy laugh, bowing to everyone in apologies. “Is it a he or she?” He asked into the microphone and by now your heart was beating with adrenaline.

“Eh…”

“It’s a she, sir.”

Baekhyun looked proud when he spoke up from his seat, his eyes steadily set on you and your daughter.

“Very well, Mr Byun. We should invite her for speeches next time,” joked the dean and once again, everyone laughed.

You smiled, though you were beetroot red in your face. Junhee clapped cheerfully as if she understood, prompting everyone to laugh again.

“Junhee, calm down, baby,” you tried but to no avail. Eventually, you motioned to Baekhyun that you’ll be out and when you made sure the rest of the triplets were still sleeping, you slowly exited the hall; the ceremony would be ending any minute anyway.

After pacing for a couple of minutes outside in the shadow, you talked to Junhee, fueling her interest in talking as much as you could, now that you wouldn't disturb anyone. It was then that a woman in a beautiful, flowing dress approached you, taking off her dark specs before talking to you.

“Excuse me.” You turned around to her, smiling politely. Junhee went quiet at the intrusion. “Are you perhaps Byun Baekhyun’s wife?”

You nodded, a little unsurely. “Yes.”

“Nice to meet you! I knew I saw you somewhere and with the baby that looks a little like him I knew I was right,” she smiled widely at you. “I’m his colleague, I teach sports ethics and diplomacy. Jung Jaina.”

You nodded, her foreign name not processing in your mind. “Ah, nice to meet you.”

Why was Baekhyun always working with such pretty women? They looked so confident, put-together. Or maybe it was just your self-confidence that was so low.

“You’re so beautiful in real life, I can totally see where Baekhyun is coming from,” she added, her eyes sparkling. Her comment was kind, but it still left you insecure. “And this little one too.” She reached over and grabbed Junhee’s reddened cheek, pulling on it gently.

Junhee pouted big time before she pushed her tongue out on the lady in front of her. At that moment, you wanted to laugh so badly, but you tried to keep your face straight.

“She is too young, still,” commented Jaina as if it wasn’t awkward at all. You were nodding when, thankfully, your parents approached you, the hall filling out with people, waiting for the graduates to come out.

“Ah, here you are, daughter-in-law,” smiled Baekhyun’s father gently. “Let me handle her now, you worked enough,” he rasped and reached out for Junhee who was enjoying the attention.

“Very nice family, indeed,” commented Jaina as he watched you handing Junhee to her grandfather. “As you know, Baekhyun will go to Japan in September,” she started and you turned to her politely, letting her know you were paying attention. “It’s a great opportunity for him to grow. He has a huge potential. Our previous dean was young. I could imagine Baekhyun as a young dean too, if he’d work hard enough.”

“He just started. It’s way too soon to think he would become a dean, isn’t it?” you replied, smiling but not liking the direction of the conversation. Baekhyun becoming a dean would make him even busier.

“He has a lot of talents. Leadership is one of them and it’s the most important one. If he does well in Japan, which I’m sure he will, we will try to propose him the opportunity. He would have to do lots of research and teach more classes to get experience, but I have no doubts he is one of the coolest professors we have had in years. Plus, the students love him.”

“He is a likeable man,” you admitted reluctantly.

“You’re lucky,” she added with a strained smile just when you felt a pair of hands around your waist, the man in question finally appearing.

He kissed your neck, making your eyes go wide before he stood next to you and bowed to Jaina. “Miss.”

She nodded with acknowledgment. “You have a beautiful family, Baekhyun.”

“Oh yes, indeed,” he smiled cheekily, squeezing your waist.

Jaina observed the two of you a little longer. “I shall take my leave now. Congratulations, Baekhyun. See you next week.” She put on her specs and walked away, greeting people in her way.

“You met Jaina?” Baekhyun spoke up before you’d return to your family. They were too preoccupied with triplets who were now all awake.

You nodded, turning to him. His hand caressed your back. “She seems nice.”

“She is the boss,” Baekhyun chuckled, shrugging. He moved his head closer, whispering into your ear: “You looked so cute with Junhee in there, mummy.” His breath tickled you and you smiled gently. He looked at your face and stole a small kiss. “My beautiful wife.” His eyes traveled quickly over your dress, liking the way it looked on you.

“Congratulations to my smart hubby,” you played along and you circled your arms around his neck. “Your wifey is very proud of you.” You stood to kiss his cheek and Baekhyun let you. His eyes were sparkling at the sight of you. “Let’s go, triplets have something to say too.”

He laughed and took your hand, following you. He was welcomed by his parents and yours. The atmosphere was cheerful and you felt relieved that nothing bad went down during the ceremony. 

Everyone was taking pictures together, first Baekhyun alone with flowers and the majestic main building in the background, then you joined him, just the couple alone. Baekhyun tickled your sides, making you squirm and burst out into laughter while he watched you with a wide smile. He knew your parents didn't know how to work smartphones well, and so the sound of the shutter kept going off and off and off, catching every second of the banter. Your babies, each held by a grandparent, were watching you with big eyes, almost judgmentally scrunching up their faces. They were jealous when you and Baekhyn had a good time without them. Eventually, Baekhyun hugged you to his chest, his hands resting against your stomach, creating a lovely picture of the two of you. 

Of course it wouldn't be a family picture without your little munchkins. You took them in your arms before they could start a rally, Baekhuyn holding Juna and Junhee while you took your only son. As they were growing, it became harder to balance two babies in his arms, but Baekhyun would never give it up unless it was completely impossible to hold them.

You loved seeing your whole family together. But you loved it the most when Baekhyun was there, too.

<3

Both of you giggled at the same time when your hand tried to tickle his stomach and his fingers teasingly caressed your hip. You squirmed, hiding your face in his neck as you felt his breathy laugh on yours.

“Shh, don’t want to wake our parents, hm?” he hummed with a huge, boyish smile on his face but his fingers were relentless.

“Baekhyun!” you hissed breathlessly and tried to shimmy away from him but he was stronger. As soon as you managed to move an inch, he brought you back to him, his palm smoothening the skin, gently inching higher on your side, successfully leaving goosebumps in its wake. You pressed your face into his neck to hide the redness.

“I stopped now,” he murmured, a handsome timbre. “Want to leave your hiding space now?”

After a little hesitation, you leaned away from his neck and met his soft eyes. “Don’t tickle anymore.”

“I won’t, promise,” he smiled when his eye caught your pout. “But you tickled too.”

“To defend myself!”

“Then you promise too,” pouted Baekhyun as he rested his head on the pillow, facing you.

You were quick to scurry to him and he chuckled. “Okay, I won’t tickle you either. Promise,” you murmured into his clothed chest.

A hum came in a reply and you felt his head move, looking down at the top of your head. “And now seal it with a kiss.”

You smiled to yourself, letting your hand rub his chest as you looked up and strained your neck to kiss his puckering lips. A loud smack resonated through the quiet bedroom and you felt your heart skip a beat, hoping Baekhyun’s parents who were sleeping in the living room didn’t hear it.

“Mmm, one more,” you demanded and this time Baekhyun captured your lower lip, engaging you in a proper, romantic kiss that had your toes tingle. His hand came to cup your cheek and the both of you shifted, the bed sheets rustling. He hovered over you while slowly playing with your soft pillows, making sure to use minimum tongue as none of you wanted a heated session now out of all times. 

When he let go with a gentle smooch, he only moved away an inch, deciding to stay a little longer to smile at you. “You’re so pretty, my little lady.”

The unexpected words surprised you and a furious blush creeped in your cheeks, bringing sudden warmth into your body. “Ah, what are you saying.”

“The truth,” he replied calmly and pressed a final kiss to your forehead before he moved away and lied down next to you.

You sighed and once again scooted closer to him, wrapping your arm around his middle. Baekhyun caressed your hand and proceeded to wrap you up in his arms as well. “I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”

“Oh baby, I’ll miss you too. And our munchkins,” he murmured and you pecked his cheek. “And these kisses.”

You smiled widely and kissed him again.

“But baby?” he asked, his voice raspy. You perked up, prompting him to go on. “Promise me you’ll keep close touch? And no surprises.”

Your eyebrows went shooting upwards at his weird demand. “We are always in close touch, honey. And whatever you mean with no surprises?”

He was observing you for a moment, thinking over how to speak his mind, his eyes flickering from your eyes to your nose and lips before looking back up to your expecting orbs. “I meant that… be careful. You’ll be home alone and I just don’t want uninvited guests.”

“You mean Junho?”

Baekhyun trailed his fingertips over your back. “Yeah,” he breathed, warily expecting your reaction. The last time you talked about Lee Junho you had a huge fight.

“I’m not in touch with him. Why would I be with him, Baekhyun?”

“He came uninvited last time,” he pointed out.

“That wasn’t my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t your fault, but I’m just saying that if it occurs again, I don’t want you to let him in is all.”

This time you observed your husband, his calm and collected expression an opposite to your gradually igniting insides. You felt like this was unfair towards you. Again.

“I'm not trying to cage you in-“

“Are all those beautiful female colleagues going with you to Japan as well? Will somehow Jiyoung appear too?” you asked in a colder tone and Baekhyun realized that you were building up your walls again.

“Yes, one of them is,” he told you honestly. His fingers have stopped caressing your skin, now frozen just between your shoulder blades.

“Okay, well then -“ you felt a painful lump in your throat forming at the fact that he didn’t even bother denying they weren’t beautiful- “make sure you don’t have uninvited guests in your hotel room,” you deadpanned. “You are a taken man after all.”

You scurried away, his hand falling on the space you created between the two of you. Baekhyun blinked in confusion and propped himself up on his elbow, looking at your back facing him. “Baby, what is wrong now? I only told you because I’m worried.”

“And am I not allowed to be worried? To let my handsome, charming husband who always needs attention, go on a one week long trip?”

His hand found its way to your hip when you felt his front pressed to your back. “Yet that husband wants only one woman’s attention.”

“It’s not gonna work,” you muttered stubbornly, trying to suppress the need to submit to his touches. “If you think the first thing I’d do is let another man - whom I don’t even know properly - enter our place without you knowing than I don’t know what we are doing,” you told him honestly, your gaze intently set in the curtains that allowed you to see the distant lights of other high rise buildings. Since you had the babies, you didn’t bother pulling the blackouts as you never got the proper rest anyway. Had you had blackouts you’d want to stay in bed all the time.

Baekhyun sighed but he still bunched up your shirt so he could accommodate his hand under it. “I just didn’t like how he came here suddenly and with a pathetic reasoning. If he does it again-“

“But he won’t-“

“If he does it again, I don’t want you to let him in if you’re by yourself with the little ones,” he finished more sternly, gradually disliking your attitude. You knew he was getting into the “I’m older” position.

You pursed your lips; you, on the other hand, didn’t like his attitude and his request.

“Hm?” Baekhyun gently squeezed your hip, urging you to acknowledge his words. “Answer me, sweetheart.”

“Alright,” you mumbled reluctantly.

He was quiet for a moment, closely inspecting your side profile. “You know I don’t mean bad. We don’t know who he is and whether he is even trustable. What if he did something to you?” Baekhyun had his own point that he wasn’t willing to let up on. He was a man and he knew what a man who wants a woman looked like. You wouldn’t understand him, but he knew what he was doing and he didn’t feel comfortable with the thought of you being near him. Obviously Lee Junho didn’t give two damns that you were happily married; therefore very much taken.

“Don’t be mad,” he sighed after a while when you still wouldn’t look at him. He brought his face closer to yours. “I don’t like us going to sleep with unresolved feelings, baby.”

“Me neither,” you muttered, closing your eyes when you felt his nose on your cheek.

“Then talk to me,” he rasped into your ear as his hand wandered under your shirt, igniting your insides with passion. “Talk to oppa.”

You sighed and moved to lay on your back, Baekhyun’s hand slipping and brushing your mound. You felt the thrill curse through you at the sensation. “I won’t let him come in. I don’t think he would  even visit anymore - but okay, I won’t do anything that you’d say no to,” you started and shivered when his thumb ran under your breast. He was watching you intently almost making you think he was looking for reactions from his sneaky actions. “But I will ask you to make a definite line between you and your colleagues. You have me and three kids. I don’t want you to flirt or even acknowledge their advances on you. You’re the professor who is hot and all the ladies want but is the most forbidden fruit in the department,” you said seriously. As you talked, Baekhyun’s smile grew.

“They know my situation, baby, there is no need for you to worry. Like, none at all. I always show them pictures of our munchkins and of you. You’re literally the background of my screen.”

You knew all of it of course. His lock screen was a selfie of the two of you smiling with your sleeping triplets after you signed the marriage papers, both of you dressed up. And his home screen picture was, to your dismay, you lying down with one leg prompted on the wall and the other spread to the other side with a very much pregnant bump revealed as the shirt was bunched up, ready for Baekhyun to apply some cream against the stretch marks. You were smiling at him with glistening red cheeks and you looked incredibly happy. That picture always surprised you; you had to admit that happiness really made everyone more beautiful and you weren’t an exception.

“I don’t care,” you whispered, closing your eyes when his palm dared to take a gentle hold of your mound, the way both of your bodies shifted closer once again making the bed sheets rustle in the quiet room exciting. “I don’t want any of that,” your mouth fell open with a shaky breath, Baekhyun’s face coming to your neck where he gave you a wet kiss.

“Okay, as you say, my princess,” he breathed, his hand now massaging your mound sensually.

Unconsciously you moved towards him, trying to make you more exposed to his wandering hand, your chest widening. He nibbled at the skin under your ear, his hand still working as if making a bread dough. 

“I don’t want you to be upset with me when I mean well,” he whispered in your ear, shifting closer to you until you felt him pressing to the outside of your thigh. “I don’t want you to misunderstand my intentions, baby,” he breathed shakily when you squirmed against him. You turned your head, a low moan leaving your mouth when you seeked his lips.

“I know, sweetheart,” you replied when his soft lips hovered above yours. “I know you mean well.” He hummed in reply and kissed you passionately, bringing out another small moan out of you. He traced the outline of your lower lip with his tongue, while his hand kept abusing your mound and nipple. He separated for the slightest moments, moving his head to the other direction before diving in again, pushing his tongue in as if it always belonged there. His hand traveled lower over your rib cage until it lay on your hip. He pushed it between the mattress, taking a hold of your bum, giving it a squeeze. Your own hands were messing up his hair before you dragged them over his chest and tummy, teasing the naked skin between his pants and t-shirt. Baekhyun shivered when you proceeded to abuse the inside of his pants.

“Sweetheart,” he breathed shakily when he separated with a delicious smack. “Not now.”

You were a little dizzy from the hotness of the room, your husband looking so alluring you couldn’t help yourself when you whispered: “Can you keep quiet?”

“Sweet-“

“Can you?” you pressed challengingly when you felt his own hand seeking an entrance into your panties. To prove your point, you wanted to move your hand lower but didn’t have to; you squealed quietly when you felt his tip right up. Baekhyun had to be in the mood for a while.

Baekhyun giggled at the sight of you, his face hiding in your neck to keep silent. “You dare to be innocent after what you’ve been doing just now?” he murmured and clicked his tongue. “Or after making three babies?”

You pinked, biting your lip to suppress an embarrassed laugh. “Well, to me it seems like you are refusing to answer me,” you told him mischievously as you slowly, gently pressed your palm against his length and Baekhyun had to close his eyes, his heart skipping wildly at your touches. “I’d love to-“

“Then that’s enough,” you murmured as you tilted your chin upwards, pressing your lips together. Baekhyun hummed and you felt his palm against your womanhood.

Upon feeling you up, Baekhyun abruptly disconnected your lips. “Shit, you’re soaking wet, baby,” he breathed shakily and you squirmed under him, enjoying how he was warm and just so ready in your palm. There was a particular prominent vein that you made sure to outline with your finger and Baekhyun was fast to become defenseless.

“It hurts,” you told him with your lips turned downwards, pretending to be hurt. “You need to take care of it.”

“God, where is this all coming from?”

You didn’t know yourself. Maybe you grew to enjoy the thrill of having to be quiet but be up to no good with him in your bedroom. You grew to look forward to what he would do if you tested him a little bit. You found yourself liking it when he was a little rough, a little out of his usual role.

“How about we both help each other out?” he whispered when you didn’t answer, his face close. “Like that one time,” he went on and separated your wet lips, slipping in his middle finger. Your breath hitched in your throat. “When you came to Seoul with me for the first time,” he darted out his tongue, licking at the corner of your lips.

At the mention of that one time, you almost combusted. It was the first time you got intimate with Baekhyun. He managed to persuade your parents to let him come with you when he was attending his university. They trusted him with you, though he couldn't leave without a special talk with your father. Nonetheless, it was a very, very special trip for the both of you.

“Let’s pretend it’s our first time then,” you suggested in a quiet, though a little trembly voice. “Touch me like the first time.”

If you could see properly, you’d witness Baekhyun’s pupils dilating, a flush growing in his cheeks. When your hand landed on his neck, you felt his erratic pulse and you were over the moon that you had that effect on him.

“You’d like that?” he muttered hotly.“You’d like oppa to finger you like you’re a virgin again?”

“Ah, yes,” you heaved when he added his index finger, sinking it knuckle deep inside. You didn’t waste time in wrapping your fingers around him, your thumb landing on his tip where you felt the precum leaking. You made sure to smudge it around, pressing down the slightest to get that soft, high-pitched moan from Baekhyun. He sounded wonderful. 

“You have to keep very, very quiet my little lady,” he murmured. “Since it’s your first time and you’re shy around oppa, I’m sure it won’t be a problem.” He was hinting at your past self. Baekhyun had to practically beg you to moan for him when he touched you the first time. Now he might have to beg for you to shut up.

You nodded and pumped him faster, Baekhyun’s fingers in you momentarily stopping for him to collect himself. He slowly lied down next to you, and you turned to face him. He removed his wet hand and wordlessly grabbed you under your knee before leading it on the top of his hip, spreading your legs. The two fingers were back right away and you let out a small erotic moan, making you squeeze his member a little. Baekhyun groaned quietly, his eyes closed and mouth open. The sight was out of this world and meant only for your eyes. The distant lights from outside illuminated his handsome face, his hair falling over his eyes. You’d brush it away had your hand not been jerking him off.

“Maybe oppa has to be a little more quiet, hm?”you teased breathlessly and let your blunt fingernails scratch ever so gently over the warm, tender skin before you cupped his balls and massaged them to his liking.

Baekhyun scrunched his nose, breathing frantically as he tried to focus on his fingers in you while enjoying your sinful ministrations. “Isn’t my little lady too good at this?”

You giggled quietly but stopped abruptly when he pinched your clit.

“Maybe you did it before?” he wondered aloud.

“Actually, there is this very hot hapkido master in the village,” you played along in a hushed tone and Baekhyun finally opened his eyes with a handsome smile. “He already touched me before you did.”

“So I’m not the first one?”

You dragged your hand higher, pumping him again. You buckled your hips when his thumb circled your clit while progressively adding a third finger, the stretch slightly stinking.

“Unfortunately,” you sighed with fake regret and Baekhyun groaned again, moving to crash your lips with his. He engaged the both of you in a very dirty, fiery kiss while his fingers became harsh and aggressive. You tried to follow your own hands movements but he was kissing the soul out of you. You were sure you’d bruise.

He rolled his hips into your palm and you sped up.

“Then I have to top him,” he said when he separated, breathing into your mouth. “I’ll prove you I’m much better.”

The both of you quickly let go of the old times, and with your experience now you were able to bring Baekhyun to the edge, his manhood twitching with the burning need to release. Before you could reach yours, however, he was fast to take away his hand and pull the covers off of your bodies. In came a strict order: “Suck it off.”

Just when he finished, warm liquid burst from him and you scurried to your knees, leaning over and successfully bringing him into your mouth with a hum. 

You were bobbing your head to give him the necessary warmth your mouth could provide while the release was shooting to the back of your throat. You swallowed as fast as you could though your own missed release made you a little frustrated.

When you made sure Baekhyun was all clean, you wanted to look up but he pushed you onto your back, your mouth undoubtedly letting out a squeal that was too loud.

“Shh,” he pressed a finger that was previously in you onto your lips. “You’ve got to be quiet,” he whispered seriously. And just like that, without realizing what he was up to, Baekhyun sank into you, your mouth hanging open and your back arching at the feel.

He sighed and started to thrust harshly while pushing your shirt up to suck on the swell of your breasts, as if trying to suck the milk out through the skin.

“B-Baek-Baekhyunnn,” you wailed into his ear and brought your hand to your mouth, covering it to keep it down. You were swimming in ecstasy. Your shirt was plastered to your back and your panties were basically ruined with the way they were soaked over. It was so intimate; the way you were both dressed in your sleepwear yet doing such dirty things while your parents were just outside your bedroom.

He snapped his hips and the good old build-up reappeared, making your eyes roll back. Just a few more aggressive strokes and you were coming along with Baekhyun, his hot seed filling you up. Both of you were heaving like you just ran a marathon and Baekhyun made sure to give you a sweet kiss and a little circle of his hips before he fell next to you, spent.

He turned his head, his chest rising and falling rapidly with a lazy smile. “I had to reward my princess for being such a good girl, treating oppa well.”

You smiled tiredly. “You're the best. And there’s no milk leaking,” you pointed out graciously when you didn’t feel any pressure in your breasts. “I guess the tactic is working.”

“Ah, wonderful. Now you won’t be a walking milk fountain.”

<3

Baekhyun was supposed to leave in a day and he was now out running some last minute errands, leaving you and your mother, who decided to stay at your place longer, alone. You were having breakfast, feeling starved after emptying your breasts. The past days, it seemed like Baekhyun and you were impossible not to touch one another, that wouldn’t eventually lead to something more. Especially now that he would be gone for a week, you found yourself sweaty in his arms more often. Last night wasn’t an exception, though you always had to be careful with being noisy since your mother was in the apartment. 

You hummed in delight at her pickled cucumbers that Baekhyun never liked, the crunchy sound loud in the quiet kitchen. 

Your mother was observing you and you felt it. You raised your eyebrows at her in question as you plopped another cucumber into your mouth while your other hand reached for the cup with fresh green tea your mother brought from the village.

Maybe she was shocked at how particularly messy you looked today. You didn’t bother tidying your hair and your shirt was wrinkled as it was carelessly tossed away the previous night by Baekhyun’s eager hands. Your bare legs were on full display as you felt unusually warm, your panties a good enough cover. 

“Daughter,” your mother decided to break the silence, “are you and Baekhyun perhaps… trying again?” 

The cup you were drinking green tea with froze mid way to your mouth. “Huh?”

Her eyes were lower on your neck and you realized with horrification that in the busy tasks of the morning you forgot to cover up your neck that had a few love bites. You weren’t used to having other people around in your house so it didn’t even occur to you to try looking decent. 

You pinked deeply as you shuffled on the stool. “N-no, goodness, why would you ask, mum…”

She sighed. “I might have overheard you a few times already-“

“Jesus!” you gasped, not letting her finish, and you wanted to disappear from the surface of the Earth. 

“It’s fine, no need to freak out, dear,” she ensured you calmly. “I know how you two get along so well and share a strong chemistry. And you’re both in your prime years anyway. I was just worried because you still have triplets that are infants. It’s hard to be a mother to them while you have another one in your tummy, but I know you know that, daughter.”

Even though the idea made your heart skip a beat, you shook your head resolutely. You were out of that safe three month secure zone now. You could fall pregnant even if you breastfed though the chances weren’t high. And if you admitted it, you and Baekhyun were being anything but careful while getting lost in pleasure. “I know, don’t worry. We can’t afford another baby anyway. It’s already challenging financially as it is.” And you didn't even want to get into the details about having to raise kids. It made you freak out - the thought of having to lead your three munchkins in life, prepare them for the bad times while hopefully shaping them into honest and caring people.

Your mum sighed but you saw her face expression soften. “Make sure you are safe then,” she promoted.

You really wanted the earth to swallow you up. “Mum, please… how do you even know we aren't?”

“You’re not taking the pills and obviously… there is nothing in the trash.”

You gasped again and you stood up, ready to run away. “Okay, that’s it. You checked?! Isn’t it weird for you to give me safety tips after birthing triplets? Besides, we have our own trash bin in the bathroom.”

She chuckled deeply, shaking her head. “I think motherhood really changed you. In a good way. Enjoy your life, as you should. Just safely.”

You deflated and sank down on the chair again. “I am. Though not the way I thought I’d be enjoying my life at this age.”

Your mum clicked her tongue. “You should come to the countryside while Baekhyun’s not here. You could catch up with people your age and you’d have a lot of peace. And you know both me and dad want to be with the little ones, Baekhyun’s parents as well.”

As much as it seemed great, you found it incredibly inconvenient to move around with triplets. You didn’t have a car, so you were pushed to use the public transport to reach your far away village.

“I’d love to…”

“Then come.” You looked down at your unfinished tea. “Come home to us for a bit.”

Pretending to be preoccupied with scrutinizing the tea cup, you only hummed. “I'll think about it.”

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

A/N:  It took me over two hours to edit this monster of a chapter. Please comment and reblog to let me know what you thought! :)