#i am very normal about anastasia the musical

[hehicular-hanslaughter-lecter]

EVERYONE STOP.

So. The symbolism for the Quartet at the Ballet makes little-to-no sense, right? WHY is Gleb Rothbart? He has nothing to do with anything about him!!!! Why is Dmitry Siegfried??? Right, because he's in love with Anya, who is the white swan Odette. We're not gonna mention Odile at any point except for her iconic 32 fouettes for reasons (probably because they look cool). Don't ask us any questions about the Dowager Empress we don't know how she fits into this either.

This post by my mutual @vampyrekatwrites details a much more fitting take on the Swan Lake symbolism: that Gleb should be Siegfried, Anya is Odile, and Dmitry is Rothbart, mentioning in the tags that perhaps Maria could be the Queen. I ADORE this concept. For one, it gives Maria an actual place alongside the other members of the Quartet (because this is a quartet, not a trio) and just..........makes actual sense? Rothbart is a magician. He deceives the Queen, presenting a false swan. Siegfried almost shoots the white swan, the woman he loves. And the very nature of Anya being Anastasia (and the very real possibility that she might not be, though the coincidences are a bit too coincidental and the intention of the writers was for her to be Anastasia) fits perfectly with the inclusion Odile, and the dichotomy of Odette vs Odile.

Taking this to the end of the ballet, the traditional tragic end fits perfectly as well. Odette dies, Odile lives, and Rothbart wins. Siegfried is left alone, and perhaps, dies as well. The Queen mourns her losses. Odile and Rothbart escape into the night, never to be seen again.

Like????????? COME ON the ballet had so much potential!!!!! Don't even get me started on costuming and how that could have been used! Anya, dressed in all-black rather than a white shirt and black skirt underneath her coat. Gleb wears his green uniform, the same as Siegfried. Dmitry's scarf becomes a deep purple, the accenting color of Rothbart's dark feathers. Maria's colors are less certain, as each production has their own take for the Queen, but perhaps here she matches Siegfried's green, but in a deep emerald, with white and gold. Maria wears this emerald in the opening prologue rather than purple, and throughout the rest of the show these colors peek out from underneath her mourning blacks, until she returns to green once again after her reunion with Anya.

Once in Paris, perhaps Dmitry's suit is similar to his movie counterpart in Paris Holds the Key, but a pale lilac rather than pink. Anya diverges from this color symbolism to instead wear a pale blue (blue is the color of Anastasia, from her bow to the opera dress, and here she is getting closer, but not quite there yet.) I'm kicking Vlad out of his green suit for reasons and making him wear something akin to his movie suit ala Dmitry. Both Dmitry and Anya trade in their white sleep-clothes for black. At the opera, Dmitry and Gleb wear traditional tuxedos, and (this is for you Kat) depending on which idea you like better, fake or real, Anya either wears a black gown at the opera and a more casual white dress at the reunion right after (she's Anastasia), or she wears white at the opera and black at the reunion (she's not).

For the finale, Anya's dress isn't red, but deep blue, like her original dress for the opera (interpret this threat as being evidence of her true identity, or as her fully embracing the lie, as you wish). Gleb has on a green suit, like Vlad's, which is why I kicked him out of it. Odile or Odette, he cannot kill either of them, and when Anya runs off to meet Dmitry, he still wears the purple scarf.

Or something. Idk. I like colors

[curiosityschild]

I feel Bad

[factual-fantasy]

28 asks! Thanks yall! :)) 🦶

My last doctors appointment came up with nothing. Onto the next one in a few weeks...

Oh good idea-- :00

Dink already has a friend! His name is Doink! :)

@stupid-thatsme

I usually watch YouTube or listen to music while I draw. I feel like it helps me draw faster and keeps me focused somehow.. XDD And no one wants to be alone with their thoughts lets be real-

@coolguyinternet

<XD I'll have to think about that one-

1: I knew what was coming for me in Tales from Ba Sing Se. But it still hurt. :(((

1: At first I don't think I liked Mei very much <XDD But after seeing her turn around at the end of the show?? I really like her :))

There's a lot of moments that were sweet and sad. But Zuko's apology to Iroh, and Toph and Sokka's talk about Katara's motherly nature were amongst the sweetest. And Aang going avatar mode when loosing Appa and being comforted by Katara has to be the saddest I can remember.. 🥺🥺🥺

The ending overall just felt like it came too soon, I wish the show was longer..

@mrplants-world

You're gonna have to be a liiiitle more specific- 😅

(Aang holding Appa art in question)

Do people really ask that?? Man.. smh.. smh.. 😔😔

That sounds like something they'd do! :DD

:DDD Thank you! I'm glad you like my artwork!! :))))

@the-woomyverse

XDDD Oh man that's some fantastic angst potential

(Evil Grim and V post in question)

An asker in this post described what I imagine they'd be like really well! :00

And yes! The evil versions are all shiny but evil Anastasia (Kricketot) is normal colors XD

I didn't intend to have Miraidon around, no.. 😅

And I don't have the DLC, so I am unfamiliar with Ogerpon.. <:0

@necromicon42

The boo mushroom isn't intended to be in my AU.. but the boomerang and cloud flower could be included :00 I imagine they'd be/look a lot different though..

The boomerang flower might not be a full on powerup.. I might make it this big flower that once it grows its oddly shaped petals fall off and harden like wood. Leaving behind these perfect flat boomerangs. I can imagine Mario and Luigi just learning how to throw the boomerangs instead of absorbing a powerup. This would also explain how boomerang bros got their boomerangs. They throw the same dried up petals that the bros throw-

The cloud flower might just be changed into some king of... wispy thing and the bros can collect. Instead of a flower. Maybe a literal cloud? I'm not sure.. but I can see it existing :00

@spinelfan11

I believe so! XD Thank you! :)

(Refencing this post and this post)

<XD No one is safe from the bootleg curse!

<XD No no, my AU was made before the movie came out. Nothing from the movie applies to my AU- including the Vanessa daughter thing <XDD

Well lets see,

1: I think Gravity Falls and Pixars cars was very inspirational to me! :0

2: My favorite song changes from day to day,, but currently I really like Lights by Ellie Goulding! :))

3: When I understood it, I think I liked math! :))

4: And sorry! But drawing suggestions are now closed 😅

@anikakitty11

Shroomie!! :DDD

@untitled-7613

I wouldn't trust them personally- 😅😅

@khoiazo

XDD The only appropriate response to evil Grim and V honestly-

@xxanxious-anxietyxx

:000 WAIT REALLY??? THANKO YOU!! :DDD

@hope0koi

They doin good! I've been meaning to draw them more often <XDD

@minophlia

Ah man.. this is very bitter sweet. I'm glad you found me here and that you like what I make. But its also horrible to hear that you found me through stolen artwork that I worked so hard on..

@katpotato55 (In response to this post)

:DD THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :)))

@im-nice-but-i-dont-like-you

XDD Well hey it made me laugh too! Also thank you! :))

@ink-machine-kidd

I'm afraid I wouldn't know what to do for that..😅I'm not familiar with Digimon.. 🥺 Thank you for the suggestion though! :00

@agent-cakeshroom

XDD Thank you!! And yes! I DO love sky! :DD Been playing ever since season of dreams back in 2021 💪💪💪

[sondheim-girly]

Intro post!

Hey guys! You can call me Jean, and I use all pronouns. I'm not too big on labels, so my gender and sexuality are whatever they are. 

I’m a huge theater kid, and that’s mostly what I post about. I live all the way across the country from NYC though, so I am in constant suffering due to my insane Broadway obsession.

My favorite musical is currently The Outsiders

I love talking to you guys! Feel free to reach out or send me asks! You can add me in tag games, however I am very lazy so please don't be offended if I don't join. I rarely will respond or participate in ask box games, so please don’t be offended when I don’t answer those! I appreciate the sweet messages all the same.

I am a minor so please don’t be weird.

here’s the link to the masterpost for my series about how the outsiders musical got to Broadway, this is the link to my masterpost of headcanons for the outsiders, and this is the link to my masterpost of my marbit fanfic!

A full in order list of the musicals that I enjoy:

Hamilton

In The Heights

Rent

Wicked

Beetlejuice

Hadestown

Dear Evan Hansen

Be More Chill

Heathers

Mean Girls

Matilda

Six

A Very Potter Musical

Les Miserables 

Legally Blonde

Newsies

Book of Mormon

The Prom

Bring It On

Waitress

Come From Away

The Lighting Thief

Chicago

Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet Of 1812

Anastasia

Little Shop Of Horrors

Phantom Of The Opera

Sweeney Todd

Spongebob (the musical)

Fun Home

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame

Into The Woods

Ride The Cyclone

Falsettos

Something Rotten

Sunday in the park with George

Parade

Shucked

The guy who didn’t like musicals

Company

Tick tick boom

Octet

Urinetown

Kinky boots

Merrily we roll along

Spring awakening

Moulin Rouge

Next to Normal

Catch Me if You Can

The Notebook

Gutenberg

Water For Elephants

The Outsiders

The Great Gatsby

Bonnie and Clyde

The Last Five Years

Bandstand

Warriors

[ivys-head-is-spinning]

Get to know me!

Hello, my name is Ivy! I decided to do a get to know me thing so here we go.

Pronouns: She/They/He

Queer. Mostly into girls, somewhere ace and I don’t care all that much about pronouns.

I'm a minor. Be normal please.

Type one diabetic.

Autism and ADHD with a side of anxiety and depression (maybe ocd too idk). Self diagnosed and HEAVILY researched. Believe me I did months of research before I allowed myself to use the words and I spoke to my therapist so don’t come for me. I am just simply not able to get official diagnosis right now but I’m going to as soon as I move out (hopefully)

Jewish ✡️ and Canadian 🇨🇦

Don’t interact with me if you are sexist, homophobic, transphobic, antisemitic, ableist, racist, a pedophile or any other shit like that. I will block you.

My newsies strike name is Fidget!

♋️🦀 and INFJ

I vent a lot on here btw. Gotta do it somewhere.

My special interests:

NEWSIES (mainly that's what I post about)

Disney

Broadway and musicals- the one's I've seen live are Hamilton, Wicked, & Juliet, Lion King, Frozen, Hadestown, Little shop, Six, Aladdin, New York New York, Anastasia, RENT, The Devil Wear Prada musical, Mamma Mia, Without You (which is Anthony Rapp’s solo show), New York New York, Water for Elephants and The Outsiders. (and a few others but I was too young to remember.) The musicals I've seen online are Newsies (duh), Dear Evan Hansen, Heathers, The Prom, West Side Story, If/Then, Lempicka, Falsettos, Great Gatsby, Bandstand, Waitress, Legally Blonde, Bonnie and Clyde, 21 Chump Street, Ordinary Days, The Last 5 Years, In the Heights, the Mean Girls movie musical (the actual musical is next on my list) and Tick... Tick... Boom!

I also love The Violet Hour, In the Light, and In Pieces.

Julie and the Phantoms

Music! But only the very specific artists that I like. Some that I love include Age of Madness (Jeremy Jordan's band), Laura Osnes, Ben Platt, Sara Bareilles, Idina Menzel, All Time Low, Olivia Rodrigo, Chappell Roan, Eden Espinosa, Christy Altomare, RØRY, Disney, Shoshana Bean, Negative 25, musicals, really anything sung by Jeremy Jordan (or other broadway stars I like but that's a whole other list)

Currently hyper fixated on Newsies, Bandstand and Supergirl!!!

Other things I like include:

Plants

Stars

Axolotls

Octopuses

Fun facts

My marble collection

Tangled the Series

Supergirl tv show (the one with Jeremy Jordan)

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

My tumblr moots

Arts and crafts

Fan fiction

Find me on ao3 @ javidiscannon99! Please go read my Newsies fic.

Matching profile pics with @ya-what--ya-erster

Ask me about my ✨special interests✨

Please send me questions, and feel free to DM me I’m always up to chat as I love making new friends on here (fair warning I’m a little awkward and struggle with social cues lol)

Cheers!

Ivy

(here’s the link to my ask game!)

[doverstar]

Err actually, I was talking Disneys DTV sequels (wel a few of them were theatrical) to their animated canon films.

YES! I enjoyed all of those. I grew up with them. I know they're not all high-quality, I know they all had much lower budgets, and in some cases, completely different tones or poorer writing, but when you're watching them you can genuinely see that the people making them did their research and were big fans of the source material. (I think the sequels to Hunchback and Atlantis were both straight-up garbage. But I love the concept of Madeline, and I like that Atlantis got to be revisited; the original deserved that!) My nostalgic favorites are Lady and the Tramp 2, Patch's London Adventure, Stitch Has a Glitch, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride, Cinderella 3: A Twist in Time, and The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning. I have seen every single Disney animated sequel there is. All of them. I have seen them all. And I love them all. The thing is, these live action remakes are absolutely cash-grabs. 100%. They are only made to make money or to "clean up" some sort of 'political' thing that modern-day Disney would like certain vitriolic crowds today to forget from the originals, and they are terrible. The remakes are crap. The old, direct-to-video-ish sequels of the animated Disney films may have been monetarily-motivated, sure. Maybe. But when you're watching those, they are obviously, clearly trying to continue a story that they loved. They're doing their best to animate and recreate the magic with what limited funds and tools they have. Everyone is (usually) in-character, and the progression of the stories all make sense. Plus there is no need for the music to go as hard as it often does in these sequels, but graciously, it does! There's so much heart in the DTV sequels. So much. I can forgive lots of mistakes, or lacking animation, and I can forgive awkward writing, even, because often I can see what the Disney teams wanted and how excited they were to be revisiting those beloved Disney stories, and I applaud them. They were just playing pretend! Writing fanfiction! But they got to actually make movies while they did it, and call them canon. Give me that- Don't get me started on the new characters and concepts these sequels introduce. Who among us didn't love Melody as kids? Or Scamp, or Angel? Madeline is a doll, with darling character design, in spite of being part of arguably the worst Disney sequel. Did you see Anastasia get together with the baker?! Did you see them make an entire third Cinderella film based on that one concept?! Please tell me more about Lilo's mother! Please tell me about the girl Kenai used to play with, Nita, who is bound in an innocent love to him forever in the eyes of the ancestors because of a wooden necklace! Give each of Ariel's sisters personalities and for the love of Pete, tell me everything about her mother and why Triton hates humans! Jane Darling, from the very last chapter of the original Peter Pan story, brought to life in war-torn London and sent to Neverland to learn she is still a child and should be a child while it lasts? The opposite of what her mom needed to learn in the original? Wow, the Emperor of China has three daughters and they long to have normal lives and they fall in love with Chian Po, Yao, and Ling - yes please! Bernard proposed to Miss Bianca! SIMBA HAD A DAUGHTER AND SHE MET AND FELL IN LOVE WITH A BROWN LION NONE OF YOU SHOULD HAVE CRUSHED ON? TELL ME MORE. Bambi 2 made me cry, Tarzan 2 made me cry, Stitch has a Glitch made me cry, Cinderella 3 made me cry, I am telling you that John Rolfe is ten times better than John Smith even if Pocahontas 2 was awful, why yes, I did want to learn about how Timon met Pumba, how did you know? Who doesn't want to see more of Tod and Copper being happy as children before it all fell apart? Shanti gets more screen time! Stitch has 625 cousins! Kronk! Fell! In love! I said don't get me started- Yes, huge difference between these sequels and the live action remakes. And I will go to my grave supporting them.

[tending-the-hearth]

Tell me dear mutual, who is this 'Moulin Rouge' character, and why am I seeing his screaming face all over your tumblr?

Does he offer much angst in these trying times? :D

screaming face moulin rouge man my beloved 🙏🏻🙏🏻

The character is Christian, and he is VERY angsty but also VERY romantic and i love him very much. Not to get into spoilers but the entire show is centered around his “doomed by the narrative” romance with the main Moulin Rouge performer, Satine, who is just… so tragic, they deserved so much better 😭

The specific screaming man is Aaron Tveit whose soul is tied to the Moulin Rouge musical because this man was part of the OBC, left, and has returned to the show like four different times

The specific song he is seen screaming is “El Tango de Roxanne”, which has become iconic for Aaron (and other Christians) doing an INSANE opt-up at the end of the song, and after seeing him performing on Friday, i can confidently say the hype is worth it because i was changed in my soul after seeing it live.

Aaron was also in Next To Normal, Catch Me If You Can, Wicked, and most recently before Moulin Rouge, he was Sweeney Todd in the bway revival, but a LOT of people probably know him best as the most angsty of all angsty Broadway men

beloved <3

i will also say my one of my other FAVORITE Broadway men also played Christian on Broadway

i’m so normal about Derek Klena as Christian i promise

He was Dmitri in the OBC of Anastasia (one of my favorite musicals ever), and I would give my soul to see him as Christian tbh

but also fun fact is that the character of Christian was originated in the 2001 movie by none other than the man the myth Mr. “Hello There” himself Ewan McGregor

his “Roxanne” lives in my head rent free tbh

it’s honestly because of their performances and Karen Olivo, Ciara Renee and Jojo that I’ve become obsessed with the show, it is the ONLY jukebox i will listen to and enjoy

[thenobleprincex]

i feel very normal about them 🥹🤍✨

Personl reflection/rambling thoughts incoming, hence the break:

Honestly, watching this show close is hitting me so hard and making me feel so much. I am hoping and praying that this cast will do a (brief) run in London just so I can at least have the chance to watch them, even though I know it won't actually happen and I am just deluding myself but... Am I asking for too much??

And like, to be totally honest, though I've been somewhat following along the Merrily train since maybe the beginning of the year (and this was very much because I noticed that Jonathan and Daniel were in it together and looked very cute with each other and I enjoyed both of them seperately, so that made me curious about the show), I only actually jumped on board very recently. And god, I was hooked. And to see it come to a close already is honestly a bit heartbreaking?

These past few months, since Fall last year, have honestly been surprisingly hard for me. I've been feeling a lot and being Very emotional (very angry, very sad, very very lost, and very very lonely), and thinking and reflecting seems to be leading nowhere and I just feel like I'm trapped with all these intense emotions that just don't go away. It's so hard.

And simultaneously, and mostly by coincidence, these have also been months where I'm returning to loads of past loves of mine. Like, I started listening to the Witch Please podcast (which is brilliant) about a year ago and that made me go and relisten to half of the Harry Potter books (which I haven't read since my early early teens since I'm not a big re-reader). Then in November it was Doctor Who's 60th and that was so amazing and exciting and got me totally hooked back on Doctor Who (which feels a bit full circle for me, because the first time I watched the show it was right after the 50th and that was a very exciting time, but I've always been awful at following along with stuff as it came out, so season 14 was the first time I actually fully did it and it was GREAT). It also made me start crushing very very hard on David Tennant (and Georgia haha) which makes me feel fourteen again in the best way (truly, I'm so not mad about it. Do I wish it was less intense? Yeah, absolutely. But other than that, it's fine lol).

And now I'm getting back into musicals?? Like, it just feels like I'm reliving all my teen loves and I truly don't know what to make of that (if anything? hahaha).

I did not grow up with musicals, you know? Like, I've always loved the concept, but there is not much of a musical scene over here. There was no Disney channel and their teen musical shows. The closest I had were musical animes (god, the obsession I had with Mermaid Melody!!) and seasons 7 and 8 of Morangos com Açúcar (which were coming out when I was young, and I watched it RELIGIOUSLY). But I did love the concept, so much so that when I first started watching 🏴‍☠️ shows, Glee was one of the first I watched. And then 2016 and Hamilton happened and I was so HOOKED to that show. Like, I was totally one of those Hamilton Girlies, no questions. I was obsessed with it. And I was studying music at the time and seriously considering pursuing music in university (I had such an appreciation for Alex Lacamoire in particular, I loved that guy). That ended up not happening and eventually my hyperfixation moved on to other things (*coughs* my football girlie era lol), but I did listen to some other shows at the time and met two of the loves of my life: Waitress (which I am slightly hopeful I may one day see?) and Anastasia (which I doubt I'll get to see...). I remember watching Christy's Instagram lives and loving her so much (she had such a lovely energy). And I loved that production so much too (and it remains one of my biggest regrets Ever that I did not go and see the Spanish production in Madrid). That was the only show I've actually followed along as it closed and it was so intense, and it's been years, but now I'm just sort of reliving that with Merrily.

Like, those people seem to be having the absolute best time backstage. It makes me wanna be a part of that so bad. I've watched their insta takeovers wayy too many times because it really does make me so giddy and happy. I've legitimately started looking for, like, volunteer or amateur theatre groups where I live where I could maybe fill some sort of backstage position because theatre seems like so much fun!!! but there is nothing and since being on stage is literally one of my biggest nightmares, I just have to live with it all by myself instead.

And it's fine. It's fine. Merrily will close on Sunday and I'll be on my phone all day and I'll be very sad and then I'll move on to something else I guess. Living with the fact that I'll never get to see these three perform together live does hurt though. I'm just kinda tired of yearning and wanting things and people so much and just never having any resolution to that, ya know?

Okay, I don't really have anything else in me right now. Just.. If you read this, and if you somehow relate or feel in any way called to reach out, please feel free. I'd appreciate it. Not to be every fangirl stereotype ever, but I actually don't have many friend (irl or otherwise) and I have a very hard time making them, but if you're in your early/mid-twenties and would like to talk, I'd be very happy to do that

For the time being, I'll cross my fingers and keep on dreaming/deluding myself that my Lindsay/Dan/Jonathan MWRA dreams will come true at some point in the near future haha. Wishing them all the luck and joy for these final performances <3

[wilderebellion]

Episode 1 of Mentopolis originally had a different preview at the end of it, that Dropout fixed after a couple days. I happened to have some of the original transcript text, but not all the speakers are identified. Some of the outfits from the preview of episode 3 look familiar to what I recall of this preview, but not all of them. In fact, I would've sworn that this preview below was styled more as a "Coming this season" rather than "In This Next Episode" type.

Conrad: This is a message for Mayor Logic. Mayor Logic, I need your attention.

(Brennan gasps)

[Different scene]

Anastasia: Would it be possible for me to just take a look at your keys? I just find them so fascinating.

NPC: The keys to the vehicle?

Anastasia: I'm interested in all of the keys that you have. 

NPC: You want my apartment keys?

Anastasia: I'll take those as well. 

NPC?: Okay.

[Different scene]

??: Oh, you frozen motherfucker.

Brennan: (clenched teeth) Don't. Do. Anything.

[Different scene]

Hunch: I think it's time to "take  you into the police station" and maybe process some of the "contraband" on you for "evidence,"  so we can go to the "evidence" locker.

The Fix: And I suppose it's normal for you to have a dog and a very large bodyguard with you. 

Hunch?: Listen… I'm curious!

[New scene]

NPC: [gasps] Are you Imelda Pulse?

[Possibly different scene]

Imelda: That's right. I heard you're looking for me.

NPC: (walkie talkie feedback) Boss,  you're not gonna believe this.

(Everyone laughs)

?: Uh, I got to go.

The Fix: There's some salamanders that feed their babies their own skin. 

?: Oh. Goodbye.

[Different scene]

Brennan: All of you turn at the same time.  [big boom] 

And you hear clacks and alarm bells   [klaxons?] 

(Brennan imitates alarms ringing)  going off all over the station. 

Hunch: Well we don't know what that means. That could be good.

[Different scene]

NPC: (Russian accent) Why you make that strange-

Conrad: I never lied about who I am before.

(Everyone laughs)

Hunch? : Everybody in this station! We're about to fucking die!

(lively instrumental music)

[ridingtedlassosjetskimustache]

My thoughts on 3x05 - Signs

@movrings Since I was unable to post my thoughts about the episode when it first came out, here’s my thoughts on it here!!

First off, concerned for Beard, he’s been increasingly wrong with small things recently and becoming more unsure of himself, part of me thinks this might have to do with Jane and his abusive relationship with her or it could be just a gag, but I’m hoping the former is actually addressed at some point

The whole “Shite in Nining Armor” thing being just a slip of the tongue seems a little too obvious, I’m still holding out hope it’s either about Jamie or Henry because i honestly don’t see the significance of that scene unless we’re talking about the mention of “soulmates” during it

Side-note: I absolutely despise John Wingsnight and this scene just made it worse, this guy sucks and deserves to be called a shite (he’s also incredibly creepy, Rebeca you dodged a very large bullet)

Anyway, “soulmate” mentioned!!

Also, I understand why Keeley can’t pick up the phone, but it is sad to see especially later in the episode

Jumping to the boys talking about Nate and Anastasia: i love how Isaac said that Nate’s “transformation is gonna be on the inside” like it has yet to happen. Obviously, he means it in a negative way, but for the audience, we know/hope that Nate’s transformation is going to be good and lead to a reconciliation! This is especially interesting to see coupled with Nate’s plot point within this episode

All i gotta say about Zava is fuck him, but i am sad we never got to see his wife and Smingus Dingus

I love the “injured monkey” bit the guys do to guilt Trent into telling them his idea and that Roy joined in

I love how i knew it was Henry that was actually the bully - definitely wanna know what he did to Doug

Roy’s monologue, the music, *chef’s kiss* (Love the way Ted handled that too lmao)

Higgins saying they should think about firing Ted and hearing Rebecca’s gasp before he even said it actually broke my heart

THE BISCUIT BOX

Watching Rebecca get her hopes up about what Trish said is killing me and i definitely cried so much this episode - love Higgins helping her out though

Straight up thought Nate was so fucking smooth with that phone call until it clicked lmao 💀

Ok The Scene™️:

I straight up screamed at this, i was freaking out

The same dress she was wearing when she bumped into Sam??

The way that they both use inverted greetings from what they normally do “Hey Boss/Hello Ted” to “Hey Coach/Hello Rebecca”

The way that they both stop at the exact moment and turn around to look at each other before meeting each other in the middle

The way that they already know what’s going on with the other without having to say anything

They way that their lives are so in sync and mirror the other’s and they don’t even realize it, but they’re both shocked by what the other said

Also, I know it’s the same place that Sam bumped into Rebecca last season, BUT it’s also the same exact place where Ted asked Rebecca how she was holding up after her divorce in the first episode of the first season and that shit just killed me

Proud of Keeley for firing Shandy

Watching Rebecca sit in that office killed me

Also the Emergency Contact 👀 i just know that’s gonna play into what’s happening in Amsterdam (perhaps after her falling into the canal)

Going back to Ted and Rebecca - Dr. Wagner asking her how she’s holding up??? Mirroring Ted’s words to her the first time they met??? I can’t remember where, but I’m pretty sure there’s an interview where Hannah mentions how important that scene is because Ted is the first person to really ask Rebecca how she’s doing during that and you can see the shock Hannah portrays on her face perfectly - anyways I’m emotional

So grateful Jan Maas is actually spotting Colin this time and not letting him choke like the other guys did lmao

Watching Ted go from water to wine after the mention of Jake was actually so painful, but also healing isn’t linear and just because we saw him do well last episode, doesn’t mean he’s healed now

Dan is my favorite and i love this anxious man

I’m sad we never got to see what’s in Barbara’s desk drawer

Love Roy’s hype up he does with the boys

I swear Henry was avoiding Ted because he didn’t wanna tell him he was bullying a kid lmao

I FUCKING LOVE JADE

Thinking about how upset Nathan got last season when someone got his name wrong, but he got called Nathan Jelly and he wasn’t timid this time or angry, he just let it slide off - you know what that is, that’s growth

I’ll say it again - Fuck Zava

Loving the bi representation with Keeley!! I know it was mentioned in season one, but it’s great to see on screen

Nate came to A Taste of Athens after he got promoted at Richmond 😭

Anyways watching Rebecca get that call in her office and Hannah’s face journey made me actually start sobbing oh my god like get this woman therapy and let me hold her

I just know that Jade would stand up to Nate’s dad for him

Watching Roy look at Jamie approvingly actually killed me and I’m so proud he got recognized in at least a small way

Watching Ted take himself out of a panic attack!!! I was so proud of him!! He was so proud of himself!!

“Your girlfriend runs off with some dude and it turns out they were soulmates” 👀 looking at you Sam

THE SPEECH!!! WE ARE GETTING OUT OF THE DARK FOREST

[albinodeer]

Fanfic Commissions Open!

Hello, everyone, I am reopening my commissions, with some changes.

I will be offering fluff, NSFW, canon stuff, OC stuff, pretty much anything within reason. I can provide writing samples on request.

Pricing will be decided by requested length, content, and research needed if I don't know the characters. Prices start at .018 per word (a little higher than in the past, but I am far more experienced now and feel that my skills have improved. Plus, the cost of living is outrageous).

My biggest change to my commissions is that I am going to be pickier with what commissions I accept. In the past, I have taken anything that came my way and found myself not enjoying my work anymore. If I am not super excited by the idea, I might politely decline. It is nothing against you or your idea, it's just about what I enjoy writing.

Send me a PM if you're interested!!

I am familiar with the following fandoms, but am willing to write for other fandoms and even use your OCs!

Musicals

Hamilton

Les Mis

Be More Chill

Death Note Musical

Dear Evan Hansen

Spring Awakening

Heathers

In the Heights

RENT

Anastasia

Once on this Island

Mean Girls

Kinky Boots

Waitress

Hadestown

Wicked

Next to Normal

Phantom of the Opera

The Mad Ones

TV Shows/Anime

Supernatural

Wednesday

Stranger Things

The 100

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Death Note

White Collar

Schitt's Creek

Parks and Rec

The Office

Graceland

Criminal Minds

The Good Place

Dead to Me

Squid Game

Only Murders In The Building

Law and Order

Law and Order: SVU

Book Series

Harry Potter

Dresden Files (1-13 currently)

Legend

Divergent

The Hunger Games (Including prequel)

Inkheart

Other

Hazbin Hotel (On a very limited basis)

Helluva Boss (On a very limited basis)

Stardew Valley

Probably more! Just ask!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Harper Alexander x Fem!Reader || Oneshot, [Part 2]

Title: The Fake Love Of My Life [PART 2]

Notes:

I'm just realising Harper and Y/N's relationship is very like Dimitri and Anastasia haha XD

Plot: Fake fiancés, impending murder victims who are actually quite lovely, dancing, jealousy, and engagement rings- oh my!

Warnings: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? Jealousy?

"Wait... you two? Are together???"

The words coming out of an 'honoured guest's mouth, aimed at Harper and I as he comes on into the bar, pressing a kiss to my temple on his way past. The guests, especially the one that rode in with that blonde Harper made off with earlier, do not miss it despite its subtlety - given more for the towns folk around us then anything else, obviously, - . And suddenly the fact that Harper just went off flirting with another woman, hits us both in the face.

Well... fuck- and the rest of the town catches it, too; Freaking out also, on the inside. I glance up unsurely at Harper who is still standing close to my seat, but force a tinkering smile that just makes me look perplexed, and that doesn't meet my eyes.

Which, you know, works. Because if we were a real couple, and I didn't, in fact, know perfectly well that he had to seduce these girls then I would look like this; Oblivious. And that's exactly what the guests think is happening.

Trying not to show my nervousness at the situation, a shield that I've mastered at this point, I decide to play the clueless-type. Thoughtlessly blinking and smiling, I tilt my head at the guy. "Yeah," I hold up the back my left hand, and show off the engagement ring (Which so happens to be Harper's actual mothers ring, so I take very good care of it even if it doesn't totally feel like mine, nor will it ever- seeing at the engagement in the first place is a total hoax) and beam. "We're engaged, actually!"

"Uhhh... " The guy's eyes flicker nervously from me, to Harper where his glance becomes hard. You can tell that he's struggling not to tell me out right what my 'fiancé' has been up to, and is gouging what kind of reaction Harper might give if he does do that right now. Still looking blissfully oblivious, I look between the two with wide, confused eyes. "Dude."

Knitting my brows together, I play my part well. A hand on Harpers arm and a teetering tone to my voice completes the act. "Harper?"

"Ah. Y/N!... " He picks up my hand off his arm, and holds it in his own, playing his own part with a side of guilt sitting beside a big serving of regretful douchebag. He doesn't meet my eyes completely, just flickers over them, leaning his shoulder slightly between me and the guy. "Its nothin', don't worry about it. Okay?"

"Hey, its not nothing!" The guy actually shoves Harper out of his way, and my own blow open wide at it as Harper flashes a dark glare his way, silently. "Girl- " I blink up at this man, who's pointing directly at me after that show of violence and I hand him all my attention. Because oh- wow- direct! Okay, yes? I mean I know he's going to be dead in a couple of hours and he's the enemy but wow. He points behind him with a thumb, at Harper. "This guy's been cheating on you. I saw him go off with my girl friend, Jess- and I know her. The way she was lookin' at him... oof," He shakes his head. "They fucked, or something, man. I'm sorry."

Miss Peaches and Boone flash eachother a smirky, secret glance at that while most people are looking at me for a response or glaring at Harper like some of the guests are, Buckman's watching this whole scene like a show at the theatre and he's on the edge of his seat, Hucklebilly is silently urging me with his eyes to do something already. Like hurry. Hurry up. Hurry! Hurry!!

Dragging my gaze away from Huck's, I make myself slowly look from the guy that 'told me'... to Harper. Before a new expression can take hold on my face, I ask, in a deadly tone; "... what?"

Harper immediately comes forward again, looking desperate and pissed off- though its not me, he's angry at. "I don't know what he's talking about, Y/N, I swear- "

I get up from my seat and he steps - stumbles? - back at the terrible glare on my face. As terrible as I can muster, when I want to laugh at his reactions. You know? Sometimes this pretending thing can be a lot of fun. Taking a deep breath, I take off the ring he gave me, and under the gaze of the man that told me Harper was 'cheating'- I hand it back to him. Then I clear my throat, as he looks from it... to me. And does 'heartbroken' so well. "... Um- whether you did, or not. I- I cant wear this... u-until, I know. You know? Um... sorry."

Then I manage to slip past him and out the bar door, into the empty square before a smile fights onto my face and giggles topple out of me. I collapse against the side of the building, letting the laughter come out as I cover my face. Oh god... the looks on Harper's face! Oh, he was good.

He must have run out after me a moment later - after the appropriate amount of staring heartbrokenly at my empty seat, I'm sure, - because then he's poking around the corner, finding me, and enfolding his hands into his pockets as he saddles lazily up to me.

But he does not fool me- he's pretty damn amused too, I see, as when I glance around my fingers; Theirs a grin on his handsome face.

Sighing, I calm down and press my head back into the wood. "That was good! You did well!- Coulda cried, though. I mean, you were being left by me, after all."

Rolling his eyes, making me giggle again, Harper sets his jaw. "You sure think a lotta yourself, don't ya?" His slow drawl is back to normal, no longer desperate like he was acting before. Perfectly, annoyingly shirty. He leans in towards me, giving me a raised eyebrow-look. "I didn't see you cryin', neither, Y/N. Not even one, stray, tear."

"Hm. Not even I am that good an actress, Harper."

He smirks back at me, and for a moment , before returning to his straight standing position, and sighing. He looks back at the building, his mouth twisted into a displeased, put-out frown. "Well, I guess we're fightin', now... Should we be yellin'?"

Scrunching up my nose, suddenly tasting something gross in my mouth, I scowl at him. "Do we want to be the kinda couple that screams and yells?"

"Well, it is just an act."

"Yeah, but still."

"Hmmm... " Harper, looking dissatisfied with my objections, looks away again and thinks. "Okay. How about we just say we fought, then? You can jog in place for a minute and look like you just ran a marathon or something when we get back in."

Gaze flickering up to him, my eyes narrow. "Oh I am only running, if you let me squeeze your cheeks to make it look like you got red-faced."

He does not look like he likes that idea, at all. "... Okay. What if I didn't find you, then? 'N instead I walked around looking for you for a while. You can go back in now and I'll wait out here for a while before comin' back in."

"Yeah, lets do that." I push off the wall and ready myself to go back in their, looking all down, when Harper pulls something out of his pocket and tries to give it back to me. As soon as I realise that its the ring though, I shake my head good naturedly and push his hand back. "You hold onto it, until this is all over. I don't want it falling out of my pocket." It was his mothers, so its important, and if anything in this relationship is real its our shared devotion to keeping that ring safe. I would die if I lost it.

Harper stalls for a moment, displeased by my response if I didn't know better, before shoving it and his fist back into the pocket of his trousers. "Alright then... Until this is all over."

"Right." I assure him, awkwardly. Before patting his shoulder and passing him by. "See you back in there!"

"Yep."

~

Its nearly 45 minutes before Harper comes back into the bar, a sullen look on his face still, like normal. I look away almost immediately, pointedly- returning to the conversation I'm having with Miss Peaches. "... As I was saying, yeah we are having nice weather toda- "

The guy from earlier - the one that had informed me of Harper's 'infidelity'. I think his name was Matt? - suddenly pushes out of his seat a few tables over, seeing Harper come in also and saddles right beside my chair. I cut off again, and look up to him. Hello? Mister?

Not looking at me, rather glowering Harper's way, Matt offers his hand to me. Shoving it right in front of my face. I blink, surprised at its presence and the gesture. "Miss? Would you like to dance?"

"Uh- " What? I look from him, with wide, surprised eyes to Miss Peaches who just looks pretty darn amused at it - in other words, entirely unhelpful, - , as I feel quite put on the spot and unsure. What is he doing?? The whole room seems to still once again, noticing the scene that Matt is creating, and I glance Harper's way.

His sullen look has just begun to look hazardous to anyone standing near to him and I fight not wince under its power, myself.

Matt breaks his gaze from its locked position with Harper's, and looks down to me; His gaze softens, a bit, and I understand that he's only trying to make me feel better. And if this whole thing wasn't fraudulent in the first place I would probably be grateful. So letting out a careful breath, letting go of my nerves and surprise at being put in a position like this, I place my hand in his and let him guide me up to my feet.

Oh god- now I just really want everyone to stop looking, at us. At me. Stop, stop, stop-

A booming clap sounds throughout the room, and just like that everyone's attention is stolen clean away by our enigmatic mayor, who's stood up and grinning. "What a good idea! Go on everyone, lets have ourselves a good old-fashioned hoedown. Grab a partner and get to the dance floor!"

As everyone immediately starts liking that idea and getting up from their seats, and music starts play from the little wooden stage in the corner, I let myself relax. Thank god. Bless that man. Long live the mayor.

"Hey, so, are you okay?" I'm broken from my relieved thoughts, as Matt walks me to the middle of the dance floor and guides me in front of him- setting one hand on my waist while the other holds my hand. His words are sweet and low, so no one else really hears, and damn- I'm going to sure be mournful when he dies. Even if he is a yank.

Offering him a small, strong smile as we begin to dance to the reasonably paced guitar music, I set the hand of mine that isn't holding his securely up onto his shoulder. He's just wearing a sleeveless under shirt, so I feel a bit of the skin of his shoulder which is odd but I've long since given up holding new-comers to any of the same expectations we have. "I'm holding up, thank you. I just never thought he would do something like that... its so not Harper... "

Speaking of Harper, I glance around the room slowly to see where he is now, and catch his glare from the side of the room with Miss Peaches. Evidently she's asking him if he wants to dance with her while I'm busy, but he seems unresponsive. Too busy playing jealous.

I quickly look away. Matt shrugs. "Yeah well, you can never really tell with douchebags. Sometimes they're real nice guys, until they aren't."

"Yeah... I guess so... "

"Anyway," Matt suddenly lets go of my waist, carries my hand up to above our heads, and spins me. A cant help the delighted giggle that tumbles out of me at the move, my skirts flying around me before he pulls me back to his body. He flashes me a grin back, and as the music's tempo speeds up, so do we- the dance becoming faster, and more fun. "Lets see if I can distract you from that bullshit for a little while."

Smirking back to him, I feel like forgetting about who I'm supposed to be, now - engaged and heartbroken, - in order to just have some fun. Because damn, it has been a long time. Yes at parties I dance with men - Lester, Hucklebilly, Buckman. Even Granny, though she isn't a man, - but that's not really the same. That's like dancing with my brothers, or my father - or mother, - . Theirs nothing quite like dancing with a man you don't know, not because you want him to court you or because he wants to court you, but just for fun.

"Lets see if you can."

~

A couple of hours later I finally sit back down again, a beam on my face and my cheeks warm - aching for a glass of water or twelve, - as Matt excuses himself to go to the bathroom- but promises that he'll be back. "Take your time, I'll be here!"

He smiles, patting my shoulder comfortingly, before turning and heading off out of the building.

Its a few moments later, after I've acquired a drink of water and am sipping at it at the bar, that Harper slips into the seat next to me. I turn and- immediately, catch myself. I was about to smile, and ask him how his night is going.

But I remembered just in time that I am supposed to be mad at him, and take a deep breath; Looking away again.

Without saying a thing to me, he orders himself a shot of whiskey- a heavily grumpy look on his face. I glance at him, wondering what's going on in his head and if he's had any fun at all tonight or if he's been preoccupied acting like a jealous bastard the whole time. I worry that its turned his actual mood sour.

I hope not.

"So... " He finally speaks, still not looking at me. "You been havin' a good time, with that yank?"

"Um... " Glancing around us, I see a group of the yankee girls nearby within hearing distance, and look nervously at Harper. Because for whatever reason, I get the inkling that he isn't acting anymore, and I don't want him thinking that anything that comes out of my mouth, is true. "That's... not, really, any of your business- is it?"

Finally he looks at me, and theirs a pissed off gleam in his brown eyes as he looks down on me. "Oh yes it is. You're my fiancé, ain't ya?"

My jaw nearly damn well drops. Has he been drinking before now?? I didn't see him dancing at all throughout the night. What's wrong with him? Theirs definitely something odd about what he's saying; How he's looking.

Not even Harper is this good of an actor.

"Harper... " Lowering my voice and leaning closer, I tug gently at the side of his clean white shirt. "Are you alright? Do you want to leave and talk?- "

"What's happenin' here, huh?" Oh for fucks sake- I turn to see Matt suddenly back, on my other side and standing over both Harper and I- but turning his stony, protective, angry look on my 'fiancé', obviously. I mean, I appreciate the efforts but you really have the worst timing, Mathew-

Harper doesn't back down even an inch from the more imposing figure that is my dancing partner for the evening. In fact he just pulls up his whiskey to his lips, letting his hand dangle lazily before him as he raises his brows at Matt. "I'm talkin' to my lady, a'course. What are you doin'?"

"Oh, your lady?" Matt scoffs, and I feel like red lights should be flashing and alarms should be blaring. Their tones are dangerous. "First of all, this is the twenty first century man so she has a name. Second of all- did you mean Y/N or the girl two seats down from you?"

Oh, hell. My eyes widen as that particular dig leaves Matts lips and, knowing Harper's already prickly personality, turn slowly to him. A flickering of a tiny - dangerous, - smile flashes across his lips as he nods and looks away, before taking the whole contents of his glass in one go. Then he turns to me - to me! - , an only marginally softer look in his eyes. "Y/N, lets go."

"Uh- " I cut myself off, unsure of how to respond. He continues to look at me, waiting impatiently for my response, and Matt looks swiftly down at me before picking up for, me.

"Y/N's not going anywhere with you if she doesn't want to, man. So back off."

"My apologies, was I talking to you?" Harper turns his gaze up to Matt again, and my eyes tear around the room for some help, but for the first time today no one, is stopping to witness the drama.

Hell, violence could be ensuing, and no one here cares?? Seriously?! How drunk is everyone?!

"No, but someone has to be good to Y/N."

Harper doesn't flinch but you can tell that he wanted to, as one of his eyes slowly squints, and the frown lines in his face deepen. "... do you wanna take this outside?"

Immediately I whip around to face him fully. A hand slamming down on the table between us and I am deeply concerned. "Harper do you even see the size of this man!?"

"Love to, but I don't feel the need to remedy all my problems with violence, mate." Matt smirks, crossing his arms. And first of all, thank god, but also- the look on Harper's face at hearing that is horrifying. How could this man have made things worse, by not punching Harper in the face?! Now I kind of wish they had gone outside.

"Okay!" Before Harper can respond, or take out the sharp throwing object I know he has in his pocket, I get up out of my seat and back off from them both. "You both need to stop this, before it becomes a dick measuring contest. First of all, Matt, I had a really lovely night so thank you, but I'm leaving now, so goodbye. Harper- " The moment I turn to him, I stall, and calm down. And I mean it, when I say; "I'll talk to you, later."

Then I turn around and head for the door so that I can walk out into the night and go home- when I suddenly hear a horrible hitting noise and a crash, followed by gasps and Buckman yelling 'HELL'- and whip right back around. My eyes blow open wide the moment that I see Matt, fallen into a chair behind him holding his jaw, and Harper shaking out his fist, still managing to look tough even as his fist must be killing him, looking down on Matt. I gape, about to say something - or yell something, - but Harper suddenly turns to me, and grabs my hand on his way storming through the horrified crowd and out of the building. I just try to keep up so he doesn't tear my arm off.

Once we're down the road a bit, I manage to rip my arm back away from him, and get glare in response. I tough it out, though, and scowl back at him. "Harper what the hell?? I mean I know we're kind of invested in our scheme but you're acting weird, now. And- you- you hit him! Why would you do that??? What is wrong with you??"

"'It's what my 'character', woulda done," He almost growls, through grit teeth.

"You really don't have to go that far, Harp!" He really, really, doesn't!

Rolling his eyes up into his skull, I watch as he finally takes in a deep breath- hands on his hips, bracing himself. After a moment of silence, and I'm thinking he's calming down now thankfully, his gaze flashes to me and I see clearly that he's still burning.

Reaching over to me, he once again takes my hand in his and drags me off. Not quite so angrily this time, so I don't fear that my arm will be removed from my shoulder at all at least, but I'm still totally lost. Where are we going, now??

We don't go far, as it turns out, and he quickly presses me against a wall between two houses close by to where we were, and in the darkness I can just make out a clearer look entering his eyes, finally. Like his sight is finally, - finally, finally! - not so clouded by fury anymore, as he breathes in fresh night time air. Silently, I watch, waiting for him to speak first.

Is he okay??

Taking his hands off of me, he runs a hand back through his hair, and finally lets his shoulders relax. "... Okay. Okay. I'm fine, now. Sorry for makin' you uncomfortable."

"Are... are you sure you're alright? Do you want to talk about what just happened??" Because I definitely think we should-

"My character just got away from me, that's all. I got too into it... I apologise." Yeah, he says that, but he still isn't looking me in the eye. Everywhere but my eye, actually. And an idea occurs to me that makes my heart start to beat louder, in my ears. Carefully, I reach up, and lay one hand on his shoulder while the other curls up into his hair.

I literally feel his body relax more, under my touch. A sigh escapes him, that I'm sure he would've preferred me not hear. So he looks stony, again.

Letting go of my bottom lip, as I had nervously been chewing it, my gaze flickers up to his face. "Um, would it help, if... my character, were to, 'forgive', you?" Still against his better judgement I'm sure, Harper perks up, at my suggestion. I set him with a focused, serious look. "Because she does. She knows that you have to touch other girls and its not because you want to, and in fact it has nothing to do with her. Me."

"... yeah?"

I nod. "Yes." Giving him a smile, I start to take my hand away from him and step away. "So don't fret! We're okay. Still engaged, and in 'love'- "

Suddenly, before I can get away completely, Harper grabs my hand again and tugs me back- and further, to his lips, where he presses a passionate kiss. A moan is torn out of me immediately and my eyes quickly fall shut, reciprocating before I can think better of it.

This happens a lot, now; The kissing. It helps us get into character, I suppose. Makes us feel like two people who are actually in love, rather then Y/N and Harper who just pretend to be. And it feels really, really good.

He pulls back not even an inches worth of space for a moment, solely for air, and my eyes crack open a tiny bit; Enough to see him gulping down air so he can come back. "Harper... "

He presses right back quickly, guiding me forward back into the wall behind me. Wood digs into my spine but I cant bring myself to care, too wrapped up in the body of the man kissing the hell out of me and my endeavour to taste him back, and maybe gouge a moan or two from him. Because I want to hear it. I don't know why, but I need to. I feel like all I ever see from him is spite and crankiness and I need to know he has more, for me. Especially, for me.

Tugging gently on some of his hair seems to win me what I wanted, as I swallow the vibrations of his groans. Then I slowly pull back, my heels finding the ground again and opening my eyes delicately, and look up at him as he sighs; Understanding that its over as he still leans over me.

Tilting my head, breathing slowly in order to return to former breathing patterns, I catch his gaze. "... Feeling better?" My voice is low, talking carefully as I look up at him from beneath my eyelids.

"... almost."

"Hm?" What else can I do? I'm just wondering what else it could possibly be that he, or his character, wants from me when to my surprise Harper slips down to one knee before me. My eyes widen slightly, looking down at him and wondering what he is doing. "Harp? Your knee hurt?"

He takes my hand in his and, not looking me in the eye as my heart starts to beat unbelievably louder- the sound reverberating hot in my ears. "I just figured, that, our engagement is missin' something."

Oh... Harper takes his mothers ring back out of his pocket, and slips it back onto my fourth finger; Where it now lives. "Y/N L/N, we've known eachother a long time now, basically our whole lives... unfortunately, I think I've only just cracked the surface of what their is to know when it comes to you... and I'd sure like to spend the rest of my life trying to learn the rest."

"Aw... Now, I kinda regret that we didn't do this in front of people. You did that really, well. And telling me my last name! Nice touch." I tell him, because its true, but adding a little joke because I have to as I slip my hand out of his grasp and examine the ring back in its place. My ring.

It really is pretty.

"I ain't done." My eyes snap back to Harper's and my cheeks heat up even more then they had been already, and close my mouth quick.

"Oh."

Flashing a little smile that looks so good on him, he tilts his head. I nearly forget that this is fake. "Will you marry me?"

Breath hitching, because that is the softest, least disapproving-of-me thing he has ever said and it makes my stomach drop- In a good way. But I hope that he does not see how mushy he's made me- because that might complicate things.

He might think I'm falling for him... And I'm not...

I try to keep it out of my voice as I respond, even as a gentle smile warms onto my face. "Yes, Harper Alexander... I will marry you. Now get back up here."

He smirks and gets up, and I lean up to press a quality kiss to his lips, in thank you. When I pull back, he picks up my left hand in his and I catch a serious and forlorn look cross his face as he looks at the ring. His voice is quiet but firm when he speaks. "... I don't want you ever taking this ring off, again. I didn't care for that, at all."

"Well it was just for show... "

His jaw clenches. "I know."

"Hey- " I grab his arm, pulling him gently but abruptly from whatever angry place he was disappearing back into, and flash him a comforting grin. "How about we don't go back to the bar. We can just go back to my house, and avoid the headache. Alright?"

"I'd like that." He grins, a lovely grin that we very rarely see on on him anymore unless he's faking it, a hand hovering over the small of my back as we turn and start heading off to my house.

[yesimwriting]

Anastasia (prologue)

A/n ive been talking about my Anastasia x SOC story for awhile and im finally ready to post the prequel,, ive also been working on some requests and thinking about my next multi-part fic (ive made some posts about it lol)

things to know before reading: i tend to like to make up my own countries when writing these type of politically/plot driven fics that revolve around a royal family bc i think it makes it not only easier to write but less confusing bc it takes out the issue of potentially conflicting with canon, so i made up the country ‘Anastasia’ is from,, this also follows the musical Anastasia a little more bc i feel like that version of the story is more mature and easier to write for SOC (the only difference is that not everyone is happy that Anastasia is alive and someone tries to kill her bc they hate the royal family)

Series Summary: y/n makes an unconventional deal with Kaz to save the life of her best friend. No one’s ever made a deal with the infamous Dirtyhands that resulted in them shedding the title of orphan from a revolution-torn country that can’t remember her life before the orphanage and taking on the title of Princess Anastasia. As time progresses, things are made more complicated as y/n has to deal with royals, revolutionaries, a grisha general who has a lot to gain from an alliance with a princess that doesn’t know what she’s doing, and potential feelings for a conflicted Kaz Brekker that has more to do with Anastasia’s disappearance than he’s ever admitted. 

--

The world seems to be made up impossible things. Each day, people defy odds, strangers fall in love, the universe expands, and the Saints watch it all. I am not the kind of person to sneer at a miracle, to try to explain it away instead of acknowledging it for what it is. 

But what this stranger is proposing is laughable. 

I lean more into the chair, doing all I can to get away from the desk that he sits at. A nervous kind of giggle threatens to escape me, a laugh at the expense of the foolishness of the situation. If his demeanor was any less brooding, I would have already laughed at the irony. Kaz Brekker, the Dirtyhands, creating a ploy so colored by the fairytale notions of dreamers.

The longer I go without reacting, the worse this situation becomes. I haven’t seen Verne since Brekker and his people separated us. I can see the world of torment my eldest friend must be experiencing at this very moment while I sit at this desk. 

“Me?” I’m the most ridiculous part of his plan. He said the only reason me and my partner are still alive is because I fit the general description of the kind of person he needs, and if I’m blackmailed into it he won’t need to waste kruge paying me. “A princess?” 

He blinks, as uninterested and stoic as he’s been since he first ordered me into his office. “A pretend one,” his correction feels like a slight, “a surrogate one.” 

My eyebrows furrow together. “But what--I know the odds of the real Anastasia coming back are beyond slim, but if we’re caught in a lie the Dowager Duchess of Avila will have all of us killed. She may be in Ravka now, and her title nothing more than decorative due to the revolution, but she still has people loyal to her.” 

“Anastasia can’t come back.” The graveness of his voice is so certain a part of me has to wonder if he could have anything to do with her death. I dismiss the thought almost immediately, I don’t know his exact age, but he doesn’t look much older than me. He couldn’t have been more than two or three years older than Anastasia when she died, and she was a child at the time. “No one remains missing that long unless they’re dead.” 

I awkwardly scratch the back of my wrist, “You’re the expert here.” No--I did not just say that out loud. “Sorry--I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Not that thinking it makes it any better, but at least then you wouldn’t know and I’d seem like less of an idiot and I wouldn’t be talking about it right now, and just rambling at a really inconvenient time for me to just...” I cringe slightly, opting to stare at his desk instead of meeting his judgmental gaze. “Sorry, again. Normally Verne is here, and he just kicks me in the shin or something to shut me up.” 

“If you’d like to see what apparently is your only source of impulse control alive and in decent enough condition to kick anything ever again, you’ll agree to what I’m proposing.” 

I straighten my posture slightly, nerves and guilt twisting in my stomach. “I’m going to be as transparent as physically possible.” The warning is for both of us, the urge to hide all my weaknesses bubbling in my chest. “Mr. Brekker.” That’s awkward--what am I supposed to call him? “I’m a university student that’s only in Ketterdam because of an academic scholarship. I’m from somewhere average--I’m not from a place nice enough to give me the manners I’d need to pass as a girl who spent her fundamental years growing up in luxury and I’m not from a place grimy enough to make me a quick enough liar to make up for what I don’t know.” I inhale slowly, ignoring the sting of the flaws I laid out for a cruel stranger. “I’m not particularly graceful or sly or talented in any field that someone like you would value. The closest thing I have to talent involves things that can be tracked on paper. I wasn’t even supposed to be here tonight, I was just doing a friend a favor.” 

“You claim that you’re not a decent liar or a thief and yet your closest friend is one who believed himself talented enough to challenge me?” 

I resist the urge to shrink back into my seat. “This is Ketterdam, you try finding someone that doesn’t dabble in crime and ambition.” He does’t reply to my retort, which I think means I won. “Cards on the table, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to save Verne, but you don’t want me for something like this.” 

He pauses, jaw locked and eyes too stony for me to interpret. “Every flaw you just pointed out, every reason you think makes you unfit for this job, is exactly the reason I’m offering you this.” I keep a thousand questions to myself as I wait for him to continue. “Those used to lying lack the warmth that will be needed to sell this. The Dowager Duchess is a grandmother first when it comes to Anastasia, that’s why she’s offering so much gold. She, and the rest of the royals that desire to know what happened to Anastasia, want to believe the story I’m telling. If you present yourself as someone real and warm and you understand table manners enough to not disturb the serene picture they want, they’ll squint at ugly details until they disappear.” 

Wow. I know that he’s intelligent, but what he’s constructing is so much more bullet proof than I thought it’d be. “I’ll admit you’ve constructed an airtight narrative.” 

I know my approval means nothing to him, but it’s the most agreeable I’m willing to be. “A narrative the background you told me of fits perfectly.” I shouldn’t have answered all those questions he asked me earlier so honestly. “A child born in Avila who was sent to a Kerch orphanage due to a war-relief effort during the revolution. A faceless orphan who was found during the height of the revolution with no memory of anything before the morning she woke up in a hospital cot.” 

I say nothing. My skin burns in protest of someone knowing so much about me. He must take my silence as a sign of me teetering the line away from what he wants, because he then says, “your friend is fortunate, if things aligned a little less perfectly he’d be dead already.” 

Dead already. The words elate my heart in a way that pinches. He’s still alive. Verne is alive. “If I agree, you let me see him and then you let him go.” 

“If you need a contract to believe me, I can have that arranged.” The words have an almost mocking edge. I guess it’d be a little ridiculous to get an official contract drawn up for something so small. “If you at any point change your mind, I’ll do the same.” 

The threat is clear. I back out and Verne pays for it in blood. Verne’s safety is once again in my hand. This situation is much more precarious than Kaz Brekker wants it to seem. “You need me to do something that will literally last the rest of my life. Tiaras aren’t something you can slip in and out of.” 

“Yes, I’m forcing you to give up a life in the slums for a palace for your friend’s life. This must be a difficult choice for you.” 

I look down to avoid rolling my eyes. “It’s still permanent, and it’s large because at any point I could reveal the truth and take you down with me.” 

“Remember who you speak to.” His voice has turned to pure darkness. 

Don’t wince. Don’t wince. Don’t wince. “All I’m saying is that you’ve offered Verne’s life to buy my cooperation, but you have yet to mention the cost of my silence.”

His expression is sharp enough to draw blood. “The Dowager Duchess is old and sick, wait at most two years and you’ll have more gold than you could ever spend. The revolution took that family’s power, not the wealth the Duchess took with her to Ravka the night of the massacre.” 

I shift awkwardly. “I’m not trying to get kruge from you for me.” I fold my hands neatly on my lap to avoid fidgeting. “Verne--he’s beyond desperate for kruge, that’s why he risked angering you.” The urge to shy away threatens to break my resolve. I think of all the times Verne has saved me. “Let him keep what he tried to take.” The request is awkward from my lips. I’m asking for more when I should should be grateful any type of mercy came from him. Any type of offer. “Half. Let him keep half.” 

He’s silent for a long moment, weighing the implications of loss. “You’re already entitled enough to pass for royalty.” I don’t let myself shrink. “Deal, but not because you threatened me--try that again and you’ll find yourself wishing you had never left the orphanage you came from.” The relief is practically crushing. Verne is going to be okay. He’s going to live and my resistance earned him enough kruge to have a week or two without worry as he plans what he’ll do in my absence. “You better be as good a study as you made yourself seem to be.” 

I don’t understand the second threat. “Studying?” 

“You didn’t think you could wander into the Dowager Duchess’s home, use the excuse of amnesia to explain why you don’t even know your own mother’s name, and expect them to think you more than an Avilan orphan with a desire for wealth.” 

“I actually don’t know my own mother’s name because of amnesia.” 

He’s in no mood to be contradicted, glowering sharply, “not anymore, anything that doesn’t fit the narrative I’m constructing is no longer true.” He straightens slightly as he begins to pace away from me. “You’ll have five minutes with your friend and then we’ll see where your table manners are at. I know someone who knows enough to correct you.” 

I try to picture where someone like him would meet someone that knows about etiquette. My mind provides nothing useful, but it doesn’t matter--I’ve agreed. It can’t be undone, not without having the blood of my dearest friend on my hands. 

[brimstvnehqs]

So after a long hiatus away from writing I’ve decided to come back and I’m looking for some more rp partners for discord! You can find my rules HERE  and my WID page HERE. Or if you’re mobile then they are both on the pinned post on my blog. 

Right now I am looking for some OC ships and below I have posted some plots that I would like to do. However I am not limited to these and I’m happy to discuss other plots if you have something you want to do, or if these plots just don’t do it for you but you still think we’re a good match! Please note that genders in these plots aren’t set in stone and can be switched up as either mxf or fxf!

If you’re interested in please do either IM me or simply like this post and I’ll come to you!

BURLESQUE: Kinda based on the movie. So either good girl moves to new city and gets a job in a burlesque club, where the bad boy already works as a waiter. He helps her to fit in and the rest is history. Or good guy moves to new city and gets a job as a waiter in a burlesque club where a femme fatale works as a dancer.

OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Muse a is a rich, successful person who lives in a mansion in a gated community and seems to have it all with their child. Muse b is living pay check to pay check in a one bedroom apartment downtown, who has given up hope on furthering their career. Muse b takes a job in Muse a’s home and they hit it off but not without obstacles on the way. Muse a gives Muse b the motivation to work on their career and Muse b shows Muse a there’s more to life then work.

PARTNERS IN CRIME: Both are monster/demon hunters, forced to work together and neither are happy about it. They constantly bicker and blame each other for everything, until maybe day it causes them to mess up and one gets seriously hurt (maybe even turned into a vampire or werewolf.) After that things change and they slowly the hate turns into love.

BAD HABITS: Very vague plot but just give me two people who are friends with benefits and even though they keep saying that’s the last time, they still go back to one another. They made a deal that feelings wouldn’t get in the way, until one becomes involved with someone else.

INTO YOU: Based on Ariana Grande’s Into You music video, Muse a’s a superstar, her life isn’t her own and she’s plunged into the limelight. She’s in a PR relationship with a jerk who’s only using her for his own clout but her manager won’t let her leave. Muse b’s her bodyguard and one of the only people who treats her like a normal person. They start up a secret relationship, always sneaking off together and falling madly in love with each other. They want to go public, but he knows he would lose his job and the scandal could really effect her career.

DIFFERENT WORLDS: The typical one’s a vampire and one’s a werewolf, think Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. She’s the vampire princess, living the easy life in the darkness. He’s a werewolf solider, created and trained to kill every last vampire since the war started thousands of years ago. His next target? The vampire princess. But what happens when he comes face to face with her and imprints on her? We could even do this but gender swap. Also bonus points if they’re based on more traditional style vampires and werewolves, maybe like Underworld.

MR AND MRS SMITH: I want to do a plot after the movie, maybe they’re on the run and just trying to survive together. We can just create our own OCs if preferred but still keep the plot of the movie. 

PART OF YOUR WORLD: Another brief one, but I would love to do a plot with a mermaid fascinated with the human world and befriends a human who at first doesn’t know who they really are. Give me cute moments of the mermaid learning human things and the angst of knowing they can’t be together but trying to find a way. Basically the Little Mermaid but our own modern day version.

ONCE UPON A DECEMBER: Heavily inspired by Anastasia, it can be set in modern day or in the past. One helping the other to try and remember who they are, but we can decide if they’re royalty or not. 

FAME: Muse a is a famous star, used to living in the limelight and dealing with the media, fans and everyone knowing their business. Muse b is just an ordinary person, who just so happens to be dating Muse a. Just a cute but angsty plot of Muse b trying to come to terms with now having their life plastered over the internet and everyone having an opinion on them.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: tw: crime, prison, drugs, alcohol. Muse a has had a bad life, getting into the wrong crowd at a young age and turning to drugs and alcohol. At 18 they are arrested and put in prison for armed robbery. Muse b is a do gooder, glass is half full and can never do no wrong kind of person, who volunteers at the local prison to talk to the inmates and to listen when needed. This is where muse a and muse b meet. Muse b helps muse a find the motivation to change their life once they get out. Now that muse a is out of prison they go to find muse b to carry on the friendship and for help as they try to get settled in a normal life away from crime. The friendship quickly turns into romance but what happens when muse a’s past comes to haunt them and old friends try to get them back into a life of crime?

[official-lucifers-child]

Wats the funniest response to ur survey so far

well 350 responses so here’s both funny ones and then me answering some of the questions:

gender:

“gender is for the mentally stable”

“i traded my gender for a sword”

“it exists, but that’s all i’m really sure of”

sexuality:

“god only knows and he ain’t telling”

“not sure but for sure like girls”

“wtf-sexual” x2

“hhhhhhhhhh boys”

romantic attraction:

“w...women👀”

“?? confusion”

“????? some ppl r hot sometimes ig”

“wtf-romantic” x2

“*stares into the void*”

“fuck all”

three wishes:

“world peace, halloween twice a year, the sims 4” this one just covers so much ground, between the altruistic “world peace” and just “the sims 4”

“i wish to insta-kill”

i shit you not, at least 100 people asked for shapeshifting

around 150 people found me through the “rb if ur gay” post

around 50 people openly and unashamedly said “it was a thirst-follow”, and about 50 more put it in less superficial-sounding terms like “i thought you were very aesthetically pleasing” and “i saw a selfie and thought you were pretty and went to your blog to look at more selfies”

someone uhhhhh. “i saw you on r/tumblr yeaaars ago. i think i might’ve been in middle school, and i’m in my senior year of high school now. i could be wrong about when i found you but i’m fairly certain” that most definitely was not me, as 4+ years ago i was about 10 years old and not on tumblr. i only got tumblr last year in august, so that is the earliest my posts would have been showing up on any other platform.

they are not the only person thinking that i’ve been here for a while, someone else apparently following in late 2017, another time when i definitely wasn’t on tumblr yet.

some questions people asked:

what’s my favourite musical: anastasia or phantom of the opera!!

“if you met me like at school or something and knew these things about me but we weren’t friends, would you be friends with me?” yes i would, 100%

yes i am aware that i am very cool

do i like living in chicago? yes i do!! it’s a lot of fun and i like the city a lot

what unique superpower would i have? emotion manipulation, maybe communication with animals? or “the ability to always perfectly convey exactly what i want to in every conversation and interaction”

people asking abt pokemon: i’ve never played, i know less than nothing about it, i don’t understand what you’re asking

“may i steal you” yes you may

“why don’t you answer my asks” i have 5500 asks, i have a life, i’m busy, i don’t have the emotional energy or the physical energy, the asks are irrelevant, i don’t feel comfortable answering them, need i come up with more reasons or is this enough

is my hair normally this fluffy or do i make it do that: it is just this fluffy on its own

can we be friends: well obviously yes

okie that’s it

[darkdevasofdestruction]

The Idiot ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky

In which the reader is the last Russian princess from our contemporary times and Fyodor is there to watch, observe, analyse and write a novel while being the reader’s sort of guardian/mentor, all while reader finds herself in an impossible, almost-Anna Karenina-like situation that drives her to desperate decisions.

And yes, I’m very much basing this story Dostoevsky’s “The Idiot” novel, Tolstyi’s “Anna Karenina” and Katyusha, both the Russian song, and the “Resurrection” novel from Tolstoy that has Katyusha as an unfortunate, yet important character.

Also, a little nod to our dear Ana Lesko for her song “Anicyka Maya”, which will serve as a cute little nickname for our dear reader, although the song is Romanian, and it’s about a seductive woman. 

Other nicknames will include: Kiska ( kitten ), Zaika ( bunny ), Kroshka ( little one ), Krasotka ( gorgeous ).

I’m not Russian, I don’t know about Russia’s culture, history and language as much as I know about my own, obviously, but as ex-commie & ex-USSR, we still have a shit ton of similarities. Nevertheless, I will try not to get into too many details that will compromise authenticity.

Luxury, glamour, wealth, gold, jewellery, diamonds, class, facades, masks, masquerades, social gatherings, lies, marriages, politics, horses, deals, gambling... These represent some of the few words people from everywhere around would describe the royal family.

Why do some still exist, anyway? Shouldn’t they have just completely disappeared at the same time with the Romanov family? ...Stupid cartoon movies and their resurrection of Anastasia...

Nobody truly cares about these rich rats who worked naught for their wealth, and would never understand the struggle and poverty of the normal citizens of Russia...They just live in their abnormally huge palace, having more servants than the population of Moscow and eat at one meal more than normal people do in one week altogether.

How utterly ridiculous.

Their lives are all perfect, they marry themselves to keep that ridiculous purity and their infinite wealth in the family...How atrocious!  What about charity? Kindness? Altruism? Helping out the common folk?

All these thoughts, and you’d think a very bitter and vindictive, very poor and malicious person came up with, and yet, the reality was rather distorted. 

From the top stair of the palace, in a dark room, sitting on the windowpane, a gorgeous young woman cast her dull eyes over the snowy city and the people hurrying down the roads, hoping to go home before it got too late and cold.

Maybe they were poor and hateful, and rightfully so, she’d say, but perhaps they can also be deemed happier, if they can take into account their freedom...As much as the government provides them, at least - Yet even so, even the poorest person held more freedom than this caged bird, forever trapped and shackled by fate from the second she was born...As if she had any choice, that is.

Perhaps she deserves this treatment, this hatred, this...Manipulation from her own family, who only see her as a political and financial pawn, planning her marriage from the second she first cried into this world... Like a martyr, she will accept all torture and live on, never knowing what ‘living’ truly means, only imagining it by reading all day and all night long, or when she plays the piano one of the many songs she learnt.

As the grandfather clock rang to 7 times to announce dinner time, Y/N dressed in a simple, yet elegant dress, put on a pair of classy black stiletto shoes, and went down to the luxurious dining room, sitting in her usual seat, only for a brunet stranger dressed in white to grace the sight with his unexpected presence.

She didn’t dare speak to him, yet her eyes couldn’t leave his form, no matter how her meek demeanour made her hung her head to avoid showing anything other than her demure expression.

Thankfully, her parents arrived, along with the waiters that served the food, so it saved some of the awkwardness of the unknown.

“Y/N, darling, this man here is Fyodor Dostoevsky. He is here as a writer, wanting to learn more about us and about people in general. As a compromise, he agreed to be your personal guard...Considering the other one was a sacrilege to our dear daughter...What a lecherous man, making advances on you...But, anyway, let us toast to the success of this young man’s writing career!” the mother raised her champagne, and the four of them clinked glasses. “I thank you for the unique opportunity to learn and understand society and people better. May you live a long and prosperous life.” this new stranger held a charming smile on his face, trying to impress and buy everyone’s trust. “Do you have yet any idea about the theme of your novel? Or, perhaps an idea for a title?” the father asked, making the brunet shake his head softly. “No, not yet, unfortunately. I prefer to study hard, and only then, when I am educated enough, to allow the flow of creation to take over me.” this Fyodor nodded in acknowledgement, while the girl kept completely silent for the duration of the dinner, waiting for everything to be over so she could escape back to the little faux haven she created and called ‘safe’. “Y/N, show Mr. Fyodor to your room, he will be sleeping there for now on. The butlers already brought a spare bed there, so it’s alright.” the mother waved her hand dismissively, and the girl could only bow quickly and go back to her room, making sure to point out what each of the rooms represent, before reluctantly inviting him to her bedroom. “Please, make yourself at home, Mr. Dostoevsky. I hope it will be comfortable and to your liking. Should you need anything, please do not hesitate to tell me so we can make your stay as great as possible.” she spoke to him in a soft, meek voice, not daring to make eye contact in any way. “Call me Fyodor, no need for formalities. We are going to room together, might as well become friendly. What don’t you tell me about yourself? Your hobbies, your interests, your dreams, your aspirations.” the brunet paced around the room, observing all of her personal objects, which, turned out, except for jewellery, books, a small, pink Gloxinia, and a pickup with 1920s British vinyls, there was nothing to represent her...Which was, in its own way, an intriguing peculiarity. “I...Like reading, flowers, music...And I wish I could get a dog and learn how to play the violin too. There aren’t many interesting things about me...I’m not special or anything out of the ordinary. I am not allowed to put myself out there in any way, so this is the little I could do to express who I am.” so tried to be as vague as possible, fidgeting on her feet uncomfortably, knowing that the punishment for embarrassing the family would be grave, should it be known. “Hmmm...I see, I see...Ah, you’re a Tolstoy reader, I see. Anna Karenina...Very interesting, yet tragic, wouldn’t you say?” he asked, picking up a book that was supposed to be hidden. “N-No! Don’t take that out of there...Nobody can know I have it. I was strictly forbidden from reading it...Please don’t tell anyone I have this book.” the princess snatched the book from his hands, hiding it further back in the bookshelf. “Ohh~? Why would you not be allowed to read a Russian book? You’d think the Russian princess would be urged to read Russian literature.” he stepped in front of her, picking her chin and raising her head slightly to allow him to look deep into her fawn-like eyes. “Because of the ending...And the controversial decisions Anna made, some of them even contradictory to her own beliefs, and yet, she made her own decisions, at some point in her life. When your fate is decided from before you are born, having opinions is the worst enemy of a puppeteer...Wouldn’t you agree?” she muttered, walking away from him, taking her nightgown and walking towards her bathroom.

This made the man think more about how dysfunctional this supposed perfect royal family actually was. The illusion of a flawless individual, living together, forming a flawless family, a flawless life, in a flawless palace. 

Perhaps facades aren’t as obvious to see through, or understand, for while the parents are completely bland...This girl...So much potential locked away in a timid chest of massive oak wood, embellished with overly expensive jewellery, clearly unwanted. She could be a genius, shining in her happiness, glowing like her dazzling smile, and yet, there she is, eclipsed by chaff, when she could be burning brighter than the morning Sun.

Those parents of hers think he wants to be here and get dazzled by the infinite stream of diamonds that keep flowing around the whole place - And yet, perhaps they are the ones living in mental poverty, considering they believe financial wealth and fame is the sole reason for being alive - To uphold a certain kind of status that they worked naught for, but received hereditary, from one lazy deadbeat to yet another generation of useless people for this society.

They truly are like the plague, incredibly rare nowadays, but completely fatal once you fall grasp to their dark claws that drag you to hell to succumb to their completely fictional utopian world that they create only amongst themselves, as if whatever lives beyond these golden walls is putrid and deserves to rot to pieces.

As his mind wandered farther and farther away down the country, snowy roads he created with his own imagination of thoughts, he heard the bathroom door softly open, and the angelic creature garbed in a thin - Possibly silk, snow white nightgown - Stepped back into their now shared room, and just as before, her demeanour resembled that of a small, frightened fawn, or a bunny.

When you have to deal with such a pure being that could completely shatter, it’s difficult not to impulsively break down all walls around and snatch her away - It’s close to impossible not to attempt to test all existing boundaries and see the limits where she would break...Or, almost, at least. 

However, abstinence makes for a great suspense and greed...You want more...And more...And the more you wait, the harder it is to resist, but the satisfaction you get when the frail creature trusts you enough to eat from your own palm, and you finally claim it as yours...

It’s Heavenly.

“Sweet Dreams, Fyodor.” she spoke softly, putting on a Tchaikovsky vinyl and picking up a book, getting in bed and reading it, the only light still open being a dim lantern on her nightstand. “How would you like to show me around the city tomorrow?” the brunet asked so casually that it shocked the girl enough to drop her book on her lap. “O-Oh...U-Uhmm...I’m not exactly to go out of this place unless it’s for Christmas shopping...I’m sorry I can’t properly do as you wish...” she quickly took her book back, hiding her face to hide her embarrassment and disappointment. “Well, then, what a gorgeous coincidence, isn’t it? In barely two months, Christmas shall come, and then, you can properly show me around, correct?” the man mused, the ghost of a smirk playing on his face. “..You’re right! My, you’ll get to see the beautiful fairy light and Christmas decorations all around the city! I can’t believe it, you truly chose the perfect time to come here. Oh, and, the ballet, the opera and the national orchestra are going to perform...I believe The Nutcracker is going to play this year...And Traviata. It should be beautiful, don’t you agree?” Y/N asked with a soft smile on her face, sparks gleaming in her eyes, and for the first time since he’s met her, it felt like she was finally alive. “Yes, yes, I would have to agree. And if you are there with me, the experience will be even better.” he hummed, teasing the poor girl who had no idea what else to say to such bold affirmations. “O-Oh...W-Well...Th-Thank you...I-I think...Your presence there will also make the going out more interesting...And nice.” she offered a comeback that pleased the man well enough. “Good night to you as well, Printsessa.”

What a lovely young woman, he thought, as he closed his eyes and let his mind fly at different aspects of life and of humanity, trying to decipher each and every person he met that day and wondering if his assumptions were correct, as they always are.

Morning came by faster than expected as a shy ray of of Sun creeped inside the room through the window, but Fyodor was already awake, writing at the desk rather rapidly - Most likely, he had some inspiration hitting him, so he proceeded to pour out his conflicting thoughts on the paper, all while stealing a peek from time to time at the girl sleeping peacefully, almost as if she was a Disney Princess.

The way the soft light caressed her face had him take the stray streak of h/c hair and pull it back so it won’t tickle her awake, while also being allowed to watch her peacefully inhale and exhale, a small smile on her face...Perhaps she was having a beautiful dream? Was that why she told him to have sweet dreams? Were her dreams her only lovely escape from this horrible reality she was forced to live in?

There were so many mysteries yet to be unveiled, but all in due time, as Fyodor noticed the gentle flutter of her lashes, and with a grace only reserved to a Swan Princess, she raised and stretched with a sweet hum, and the brunet man watched as his eyes felt absolutely blessed seeing such a beauty...

If people complained that Disney Princesses weren’t relatable, since they have messy hair when they wake up, just like Anna, they clearly haven’t seen how perfect Y/N looks, even as she blinks her sleepiness away.

“I see you slept well, Printsessa. Good morning.” she heard him speak, and she noticed it wasn’t as en garde and...It almost seemed...Pleased to see her. “Fyodor...You woke up before me. You should have woke me up. Please wake me up next time, I wouldn’t want you to feel lonely or upset. This place is like a piranha tank...Thread carefully, otherwise, you’re like a little animal who fell in.” she quickly got up, rushing through her daily routine so she could be by his side, not only because her parents assigned her to that, but also because this Dostoevsky man is the only little thing that could rip her out of her completely dull routine and show her a little bit of insight into what could be something out of her imagination entirely. “Aww, the little songbird wishes to spend time with me, how adorable. Very well, Printsessa, what is it that you want to do today? My job here is to observe and write, after all.” he asked, crossing one leg over the other, resting his chin on his fist, watching her with intense interest. “Oh, well, I have to practice the piano today, but other than that, I have nothing in my schedule.” she explained, guiding him to the music room that very much resembled a whole orchestra surrounding a place - Not too small, yet not too big either - Meant for ballroom dancing. “I bet the national orchestra isn’t as fancy as this place is.” he mused, walking up to the cello and tracing his fingertips across the chords. “...Do you know how to play it?” she asked, walking up to him, having the curiosity of a baby fawn exploring the world. “Would you like to hear?” he asked, sitting on the chair and expertly hugging the cello, he grabbed the bow and teased the girl with a mischievous look in his gleaming purple eyes. “Oh, yes, please, if it’s not too much to ask! It would be absolutely splendid.” Y/N clasped her hands together, grinning widely as she stepped a few feet away to give him enough space so he could start playing. “It would be my pleasure, Printsessa.” and with the nod of his head, he started playing the famous Sugar plum fairy song, making the girl gasp in surprise at how gorgeous it sounded.

She crouched to reach the perfect eye view of the bow gliding along the chords, her mouth slightly agape and she gazed with absolute wonder, not even realising when the song was over, for she was much too mesmerised.

“Well, Printsessa, how did you like it?” he rested his arms on the curves of the cello, leaning forwards for a better look at her. “That was better than even our national cello player! It was absolutely stunning, woaw...Just...You left me speechless! You’re...You’re...You are...Perfectly splendid!” she clapped for him rapidly and incredibly enthusiastic, making him chuckle in amusement at her cuteness. “Why, thank you, Printsessa. How about you entertain me now, little Anicyka Maya?” he carefully put the Cello in its place, stepping in front of her and caressing her porcelain skin, quenching his thirst for discovery by seeing her rosy cheeks. “Well...I can’t say I’m anywhere as great as you are...But, sure. I hope you will like it.” she looked down, fidgeting with her fingers as she hurried timidly to the piano, and taking a deep breath, cracking her fingers, she liter her fingers skillfully dance over the keys, as her voice followed every word of the song called “Katyusha”. However, she wasn’t expecting him to applaud and whistle to her, congratulating her for being such a beautiful nightingale. “You clearly underestimate your hard work and talent. Perhaps we should play together one day. I’m sure it would put a smile on your parents’ faces.” Fyodor bowed to kiss Y/N’s hand, only to hear the door opening. “Yes, Mr. Fyodor, we would quite like to hear the two of you dueting together. Since Y/N will have to perform both dance and a song at the piano, as a Christmas tradition, it will show how much she’s improved...If at all. I have to tell you the truth, Mr. Fyodor, over the past few years, she has been exceptionally disappointing...Well, perhaps you coming here will prove to give her a jolt in the right direction.” Y/N’s mother came out of nowhere in the music room, almost as if she was stalking the pair, and Fyodor could see how the Princess’ behaviour changed 180 degrees, and from the excitable and lively young girl, she went back to hide in her guarded shell, trying to protect herself from the numerous blows everyone throws her way.

And just as he expected, once they started playing, despite throwing in one or two intentional mistakes, while she had none of her own, the mother reprimanded her daughter, while praising him. He thought, at first, this was going to be some kind of tough love encouragement and determination she was trying to give the girl, but truly, it was nothing more than unrealistic dreams of an already flawless performance.

This family was nowhere close to being the perfect, or the most loving one, that was without a doubt. But being so horrible to your own daughter, humiliating her in front of a complete stranger, making her tremble softly while trying her best to keep herself from bursting into sobbing fits, was a whole different kind of cruel and unnecessary malice.

For some reason, Fyodor felt a certain kind of warmth in his chest...But not the same kind of warmth he feels when he is around Y/N, but something...Similar to fury. To rage. He was sure he never felt such a personal sort of offense, despite not being him that was belittled.

A terrifying sort of justice bubbled inside him, and he smirked, thinking about just one sole thing.

Crime and Punishment.

Fyodor hoped dearly that it would be only the maternal figure that was the problem, yet it seemed to be much worse, and the toxicity levels that kept vibing all over the place seemed to be equivalent to that of Chernobyl at the time of the explosion.

All throughout the week, he noticed the dirty looks all the staff was giving the Princess, possibly because she was being a shy and quiet pushover...But it went completely beyond his understanding how these servants would even dare be so rude to her, considering she is always so sweet to them, always forgives their mistakes and shares her whole allowance with them in equal parts...

But they complain it’s not enough. They complain others get more, or less, but clearly, they don’t care about that, they just want more and more money...They are greedy jackals who don’t care about the life or soul of a poor little lady who just wants to be happy...

But perhaps happiness isn’t meant for royalty.

A week until Christmas, and Fyodor was ready with the quick draft, and he left it on the desk for Y/N to read, and he couldn’t help but admire and drink in each and every emotion she would express on her lovely face with every word she read, every action, every chapter that stirred more and more conflicting feelings and thoughts battling together - Conflicts that she was trying so hard to hide, no doubt feeling his burning, hawk-like stare on her, analysing her as if she was a new specimen under a microscope.

She was great at hiding what she truly felt, yet her eyes betrayed her inner self, the sparkling of nostalgia and sadness crawling out, shrieking at the top of her lungs to be discovered and taken out of this well of darkness she was drowning in - She wanted to be saved, she was at her breaking point, and clearly, she was afraid. 

Afraid of life. Afraid of people. Afraid of her family. Afraid of this society. Afraid her own self. Afraid of her actions.

And most of all.

She was afraid of spiritual, mental and emotional imprisonment.

As Christmas approached with rapid footsteps, Fyodor could notice how Y/N stiffer, more silent, flinching more, keeping herself in check, alone, barely speaking to anyone...Clearly, she was being stressed out and afraid of the consequences of screwing up anything.

Perhaps, the problem here was the fatalist and completely out of her control destiny she was thrown in, and she knew from the very beginning that, no matter how flawless her performance was, she would still be reprimanded and punished, so she resigned herself to this kind of treatment...The same as every year.

“It’s so beautiful outside...And it’s snowing...! So soft and cold...It’s almost numbing you entirely, but the beauty of Christmas still melts down even the most frozen of hearts.” she spoke with such sadness dripping from her tongue, that Fyodor felt the need to take his fur hat and put it on her head before taking a hold of both of her hands, rubbing them together and kissing her knuckles. “It’s not the day or the decorations that are supposed to move a person, but the kindness and altruism of people. From what I’ve seen in the past weeks, the only consistency in this place is the beauty of your heart and the cruelty of everyone else that keep eclipsing you. You deserve better than this, kroshka.” the man spoke simply, waiting to see the way she’d react. “...I didn’t choose this life, nor did it choose me, yet here I am, trying to keep my head above the water in a whirlpool. I have all my life planned and written ahead of me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. From the very beginning, since before I was even born, they knew they will sell me out to some old, rich man, just so they could benefit, but they cared naught about my well-being, as long as I could keep him entertained in any way possible. The least I can do is try to enjoy the little things...Even if they are nothing more than just that...Little things.” she admits to him, taking away her hands and holding them to her chest, too afraid to trust her own heart. “You let the servants make a mockery out of your kindness. You let your family humiliate you in front of everyone. You let common folk bash you, even if you tip them greatly...Tell me, krasotka, have you read the draft to my book yet?” they continued to stroll down the cobbled streets, looking up at the snowflakes gently dancing in the light of the lamposts, as Fyodor carried most of her shopping bags that held Christmas gifts for everyone but herself. “Yes...I did...But I did not finish it. I was much too afraid to read the ending of it.” she nodded to him, biting her lip nervously. “Afraid? Why ever would you be afraid of reading some words made of ink on a piece of paper?” the man frowned in confusion and interest, hearing such a peculiarity of an answer. “Because...Because I know that Prince Myshkin actually represents me...And how life treats me...So I’m afraid the ending will hint to Anna Karenina’s ending...And I don’t want that. I don’t...That’s why I’m afraid...I’m scared that...I’m scared that I won’t be able to endure this madness anymore, and sooner, rather than later, I will shatter into an unrecognisable version of myself that not even I will decipher...And I will do scary things that I would otherwise be afraid of even thinking about. You know I read the book, I wouldn’t put it past you to tease me like that.” she smiled ironically, shaking her head to stop herself from shuddering at such a dreadful thought. “Congratulations, Printsessa, you are surely insightful. However, I must advise you to read it, and keep in mind that you are not entirely wrong in your thinking. While the ending isn’t identical to Tolstoy’s novel, it isn’t on the complete opposite spectrum either. What you read is one of the possible outcomes of your life, should you choose to remain a passive onlooker and let everyone control you, like a little, pretty doll. Should you, however, choose to take fate into your own hands and finally make your first choice of your life...I can promise you, you are going to be much happier.” Fyodor kissed her forehead before leading her back to the palace so she could take the day off...For tomorrow, she must perform.

But the author wasn’t lying, Y/N realised as she spent the last hours past curfew to finish the book, and she realised that while Myshkin didn’t kill himself, he was still dead inside, and just like the catatonic state he was stuck into, she has been living a life of complete comatose herself.  Fyodor was right all along - A life without choices is not a life, nor is it one without freedom and happiness - And maybe, for the first time in her life, she would make the most difficult decision the universe threw at her, and that was to choose between Duty and Happiness, something every royal member, especially women all over the world, who were seen as nothing more than political and decorative objects meant to create heirs and nothing more, had to pick, and dutifully chose to sacrifice themselves to keep the family and the nobility going.

But not anymore....

“You look beautiful today, my little zaika. This velvet colour of your dress, the way it highlights you stunning silhouette...And this jewellery...And your hair and make up...You are above and beyond the most beautiful person to ever grace this life. How are you going to enchant us today?” Fyodor pat down his white suit so he would look completely impeccable...Or, perfectly splendid, as Y/N would say. “Does it truly matter, in the end? Nobody but you will pay attention, and at the end of the day, I will only hear critiques. It’s the same every year, so there is no point in bothering to stand out, have any particularity or give a name. It just...Is. So...Let me get this over with so I can go to my room and pretend this day never happened...Again.” she muttered, hooking her arm to his, entering the big ballroom together.

A ton of people were there, not only family, but enough family ‘friends’, all of them incredibly rich, with a combined fortune great enough to buy the whole Russia somehow...And all eyes were on her. She didn’t mind. She was used to the nervousness and the either critical or lustful stares she received - But only during these kinds of events, and because she was a Princess, otherwise nobody would have cared about her existence or her feelings...

Nobody...Except for Fyodor.

Until the time of his arrival, nobody cared about her, nor did they bother trying to understand or talk to her, and yet, here he was, always by her side, and frankly, she fell in love with him. She, for the first time in her life, cared naught about everything surrounding her, and she thought solely about him and their time spent together. That is all that mattered to her.

So, with that in mind, and a warm heart, she performed the Waltz of Flowers flawlessly at the piano, along with a few other songs, adding some festive ones. Fyodor was absolutely captivated by the spells she put on people whenever she radiated with such pure gentleness, just like Christmas’ true angel.

Her fingers glided so gracefully over the keys, as she hummed along the music, not even bothering to look at the sheet, for she new everything by heart - But somehow, it all sounded even more magical than before, and nobody could tell why.

But Fyodor knew, and he smiled, figuring out her trick. And he was going to call her out for that when this whole charade was over.  But for now, he allowed himself to enjoy bathing in her radiating warmth, for she was shining brighter than the Sun itself.

By the time she finished her little repertoire, she did a pretty courtesy and walked to the man in the white suit, taking a glass of red wine and sipping from it, that gentle smile never leaving her face.

They exchanged no words, but there was no need for that, as the look in their eyes spoke more than anything else, and they danced the night away, together, in graceful and intimate waltzes, or swaying together, keeping their hearts glued together, beating in sync and feeling each other’s heat.

She might not have wanted to end up like Karenina, but she wasn’t too far away from her situation, and she knew very well, should she leave with this man, she was going to break down every rule, and find an identity for herself, after all these years.

But happiness is emphemeral in the life of a Princess, and just before the Christmas Ball ended, her parents dragged her to the table of this old man, so they would share gifts. This old man, who so happened to be the man chosen to be her future husband, and had fewer hairs on his head and teeth in his mouth than her age.

Most of the gifts were pretty basic - Jewellery for women, cigars, fedoras, watches for men...But for her...She received some of he oddest gifts so far - And yet, she thought life couldn’t surprise her anymore.

Several little outfits, fit for babies, were neatly folded in all boxes, sans one - The sole box being a small, velvet box, which revealed a sapphire ring that expressed the definite bond of marriage that must be officiated very soon, through papers and a church ceremony.

Frozen was the clock, frozen was the time, and frozen was life itself, for the shock was great - Being put on the spot is scarier than the anticipation and fear of venturing into the unknown - Yet here she was, with her supposed fossil of a husband, with several babies promised to be born, and a very angry author, watching the disgusting exchange of pleasantries between the elder people.

He noticed Y/N doing a little courtesy, excusing herself with a nervous smile, and rushing out of the ballroom, the clicks of her elegant heels giving away her location at all time. Following her, he saw her on the edge of the rood, barefoot, her back to the empty space, as she hummed, looking up at the clouds pouring snow, and swaying to her tippy toes occasionally.

“You sure like the feeling of being alive, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t be staying there after being faced with such a disgusting situation.” he pointed out, clasping his hands behind his back and carefully stepped towards her. “Life is full of surprises. But it is not called life, unless you have a say in the paths that you go down by. Today, I realised what I have to do in order to achieve true bliss and happiness...Something ethereal, although utopian in its quintessence. I have to make a choice. And right now, I’m making it.” she smiled, extending her arms to the side, resembling a Goddess, as a few stray tears streamed down her face - But they were tears of relief, not of fear, anxiety of depression. She was happy. “You said you didn’t want to choose the path of Karenina, nor of Myshkin, and yet, there you are, on the brink of death, as the way to show that you are no longer a caged bird. Is it truly worth it, in the end?” Fyodor asked, frowning at the delusional words she was spewing. “Death is but the beginning of a new adventure, and with me falling, I will find out what freedom is, unlike all the other Princesses before me. It is not death I’m choosing, nor will I regret it as soon as I step into this free fall hazard, like Karenina, and, as you can see, I chose to wake up from my catatonic state, unlike Myshkin. I know what awaits me as soon as I reach the ground...But do you?” Y/N hummed in amusement, watching the conflict painted all over his face - And it was for the first time that Fyodor showed such confusion and inner turmoil, that much was obvious to her. “Stop this, Y/N, I don’t understand your reasoning, but don’t kill yourse- “ but he couldn’t finish his sentence, for the girl uttered just a few words - Words that changed even the rotation of the Earth around the Sun - And as she pushed herself on the tips of her toes, she embraced the cold wind of Winter being her guide down to the ground, as she watched the snowflakes following her down.

And she smiled.

Because love won, and life won, and she knew she chose correct - These weren’t the times to choose everyone else over herself anymore, and nor is she a saint, a martyr, an angel, or some perfect Christian role model.  She was just a woman thirsting for happiness and for the tangible sensation of life and of flying, and with this jump, she got completely wasted.

The secure embrace of a white angel made sure she lived for another day, but not quite, for her guardian angel jumped to save her, yet had no idea himself that he wasn’t the only special one, after all, and just as they were going to reach the ground, time seemed to stop, and they reached the ground gracefully and softly, like two linked feathers.

She lay down on the crystal blanket of snow, laughing mirthfully, almost with a childlike charm, as her long hair was sprawled all over her, and Fyodor’s arms were fiercely holding her, and he looked down at her, his eyes wide in understanding.

“I didn’t choose death. I chose life. I chose love...I chose you, and I chose me. I knew you had an ability too, and that you were confident in it, so I was sure that, should you choose to, you could jump from the roof of the palace to save me - Which you did. I never really have the opportunity to use my ability, but it’s rather useful in some situations, if I can say so myself. So, by the way you’d respond to my feelings and actions, I’d know whether I chose right or not...I think we both know the answer now, don’t we?” she grinned mischievously, extending a hand to his face to caress it gently. “That’s the most idiotic, most reckless thing anyone has ever one...And yet, you strategised everything, as if we were pieces in a game of chess. How did you get the courage to reach such a conclusion?” his voice was low, like a murmur, trying to understand her impossible, labyrinthine mind. “Life offered me a Christmas gift today, and that was serendipity, so, I used it. Everything else was a perfect strategy of a game of chess I played myself - The White King versus the Black King - And, was far as my luck and the universe brought about, I believe I won. But you must still answer back, otherwise, the magic will vanish.” Fyodor noticed a smirk growing on her face - One that somehow resembled his, and he almost felt conflicted seeing her mimicking him in his demeanour, in a way...But he also felt incredibly proud. “I cannot take you with me, Y/N. The part I walk is dangerous, it could even be fatal, and I would rather you not walk down a boulevard of broken dreams. You just now achieved happiness, don’t throw it out of the window. It a world full of crimes, I choose to be both the justiciar and the executioner of the unworthy. In a world of crime, I shall inflict punishment upon the evil-doers and paint this world red with the blood of the guilty.” he wanted her, he truly didn’t want to leave without her, nor did he want to leave her alone, here, with these hyenas, but could he really have it in his heart to endanger her so? “Fyodor, my darling, it matters naught for me whether I live or die, as long as the journey is by your side, and I’m not shackled anymore. I want to see, I want to hear, I want to touch, I want to taste, I want to smell, I want to learn. Everything. Without exception. There is a whole world out there, open, waiting to be explored and unveiled, and I shall be its explorer. As long as I have you by my side, I will surely be fearless. Being a hero, being a villain, or anything in between is of no concern for me...However, I cannot deny that I would be rather...Interested in seeing you deliver the sentence down to...Some specific people.” she giggled, winking at him, as she obviously hinted towards her kin and the unlimited amount of gossips she has heard about so many people, over the years.

With a wide smirk on his face, Fyodor Dostoevsky helped Princess Y/N on her feet and gave her a passionate, fire-like kiss, before picking her up bridal style and making their way to her room, so she would start packing and leave at the earliest convenience.

There may still be a bit of official work to do at the palace, and as his ability is called, there is no crime without punishment, he was going to make sure of that. Until then, there was one thing certain, and one alone, that was going to guide the both of them to a path of exciting uncertainty and thrill.

“I love you, my dear Y/N.”