#i am very fond of my idiot sons

[inscribedlighter]

Hiya! I am consuming your fics at a rate of knots now so i thought id send in a prompt. Would you consider divine punishment (Noel/Kayne) with the prompt of “sweetness, i was only joking” (Yes that is a Smiths lyric, no i will not even begin to try and justify myself)

I understand this is a random rare pair and will not take offence should you choose not to do this one <3

@lordofthesoups

For Malevolent Mini Prompts: send any malevolent relationship or pairing and I'll try to write at least a short scene. Prompts are now closed!

Admittedly this one may have gotten away from me a little bit. I hope you still like it! Charlie has no context for what's up with John and Arthur except for what he's seen.

Tags can be viewed on Ao3

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Noel | Charlie Dowd/Kayne, Now Doesn't this Sound Familiar

No, no, no, no, no, that fucking traitor—

And with a snap he was… 

Charlie blinked. He was exactly where he had been, but his wound was closed up. No one else was there. Arthur was gone. The Butcher’s body, headless, blood soaking into the carpet. Larson gone… 

He looked around frantically. He couldn’t trust this right? It could still be the Dreamlands, it could still—

“Tada!” Kayne sang, snapping back into existence in front of him wiggling his finger tips. “Sorry about the wait, those two just go on and on and on and on. Can barely get a word in edgewise!” He laughed to himself. 

Continue here or on Ao3

Charlie was trying to take in air.

“What? Nothing? No applause? Not even a thank you for the free wound care?” Kayne huffed. “Oh. What? Did you think I had popped you back to the Dreamlands with Wally and the King? Oh sweetheart, I as only joking,” Kayne snickered. 

“Joking?” Charlie repeated in outrage. “You son of a bitch.” He grabbed Kayne by his collar, hauling him up by the scruff. 

Kayne wasn’t phased. “Son of an idiot actually, but don’t worry about it.” He waved his hand casually. “Come on then.”

Charlie gripped him tighter. “What? He sneered. 

“Have at it. All the questions.” Kayne said, still perfectly limp. “Why did you kill the Butcher? Why did you let Larson live? Why did you restore the King’s memories and send him on his merry way? Why did—”

Charlie shoved him away angrily. Kayne did some kind of quickstep dance move to regain his balance. 

“Where did you take Arthur?” 

“Oh?” Kayne tilted his head. “You want to know about Archie?”

“You said,” fuck. Fuck. “You said you wouldn’t hurt him. You said this was about the King.” 

“John,” Kayne corrected. “And sure. It was about the deal I made with him, yes.”

“And what fucking deal with was that?”

Kayne raised an eyebrow. “Huh… oh Detective, are you … angry with me? After all we’ve been through?” 

Charlie’s hand shook, but he felt… better. The gunshot wound had completely closed over. He placed his hand on it, felt the rough scar. 

Kayne’s eyes didn’t leave him. 

He flinched. Kayne was suddenly there, tilting up his chin. “Isn’t it cute? You and Artie match now? A proper set. Collect all two—” 

Charlie took a step back. Kayne let him.

“You said you wouldn’t hurt him,” Charlie repeated. “You said it wasn’t about him!” 

“Oh my steel-eyed-dreamboat!” Kayne sighed piteously. He fanned himself as if he was getting warm. “Don’t you see? I didn’t hurt him. Didn’t touch a hair on his pretty little head. And it isn’t about him. Not at all. This is all about me. He’s important, very important, integral, but it’s not ABOUT him.” 

“You were manipulating me.”

“Of course, but don’t think that doesn’t mean I’m not fond of you, kid,” Kayne said carelessly mimicking his accent. He hopped up the steps and circled the display where the Stone sat. 

“You promised me revenge.” 

Kayne sighed happily. “Yes, I did, didn’t I? Such a pleasure. You’re so… straight forward! You know exactly what you want! Bloody terrible revenge against an old god! Fuck, who wouldn’t love you?” He took the Stone in his hand and started idly tossing it up and down like a baseball. He pointed at Charlie. “You were the one that got cold feet when you learned about Arthur, not me. I gave you your avenue—two actually. Two Kings, two opportunities, you blew it, not me.”

He gritted his teeth. “You didn’t exactly prepare me. You could have told me what John was before I walked into this shit.”

“And where would the fun in that be?” Kayne replied. “You’re the one that forgave him. He even saved you! Half of the soul of the thing that tortured you for ten straight years, and he manifested himself to rescue you! It was touching!”

“It was a lie,” Charlie said shortly. “Because this whole time he was working with you!”

Kayne tutted. “Nuh, uh, uh. He was working FOR me. Just like you! It’s a very important distinction.”

“He was Arthur’s friend and he was willing to sacrifice him for his own selfish—”

“Does that remind you of someone we know?” Kayne asked in amusement. 

“Fuck off.”

“Okay, okay, okay, I’m sorry Charlie, I am, but the plan doesn’t stop just because I’ve grown a soft spot for you. Ugh, two humans I have my eyes on. I’ll never be able to live it down.” He was up close again, grinning at him. Here reached out and caressed Charlie’s face as if to comfort him. 

“What do you want Arthur for?”

“Jealous? You don’t need to worry, Charlie. I have two hands—well I can have far more than just two—you get it.” 

Charlie glared at him and Kayne had leaned in, they were cheek to cheek, Kayne nuzzling him. 

Charlie closed his eyes, breathing him in. 

“Maybe I should be the jealous one,” Kayne chuckled darkly. “Arthur this, Arthur that. Did he really make that much of an impression?”

“Kayne—” 

Kayne’s lips brushed his.

“Or,” he said “Is it that he’s you. Poor broken Charlie, a little younger, a little less sense, a little more British. A charming little puppet the King has his strings in.” 

“Shut up.”

“Mmm don’t mind if we do,” Kayne said, kissing him properly. 

And Charlie kissed back, knowing he shouldn’t, but wanting to anyway. Craving it because Kayne had kept him sane. This bastard. This monster was his thread of sanity, and even two years in the real world he couldn’t let him go. He didn’t want to let him go. He accepted it. He accepted all of it, and all of it included Kayne.  

Kayne hummed in satisfaction. It was a nice kiss. No biting, no blood. Just an indulgence. 

“What were we talking about?” Kayne asked rhetorically, basking in the afterburn of the kiss. “Oh right. The most recent toy of the King.”

Charlie tried to pull back, he really did, but Kayne held his hands to keep him close and he didn’t try to break free. He looked down.

“Arthur’s mine,” Kayne said bluntly. He squeezed Charlie’s hands. “Just like you my beautiful detective. They always say you should adopt in pairs, don’t they?” 

Charlie looked up sharply, glaring at him. 

Kayne’s grin was wide and sharp. “Alright, alright. He’s not mine yet, and he won’t be mine like you are. He's not my type. Too whiny.” Kayne let go of one of his hands and reached up to stroke his cheek. “Him and I don't have the same hobbies like we do.”

“You said—”

“I am not the King in Yellow, pet,” Kayne said reassuringly. “I’m not putting you in a pit. I’m not going to hold either of you against your will. I’m not breaking your mind. I’m not even going to break his, and trust me, it would be so easy for me to break his mind. You asked for the chance to kill the King in Yellow. I asked you to work for me. None of it’s changed.”

“John isn’t the King,” Charlie finally admitted. “He…” he closed his eyes. “He cares about Arthur. He saved me. Whatever deal you made… it was under duress. You’ve been leading me on. You wanted me there to fuck with him. You—”

Kayne held him. He chuckled helplessly. “Oh Charlie, do you forgive him?”

“I… no. I don’t forgive the King, but John isn’t—”

“Let me show you something.”

And with a snap they were somewhere else. Once again he felt himself tense, ready to see the eerie shores of the lake, or the caves, or the goddamn pit, but they were in a music room stuffed into an office. There were sheets of paper here and there. An old couch. A piano. 

At the piano was Arthur and Kayne.

Charlie moved to go forward, about to call out.

Kayne slammed a hand over his mouth. 

Charlie’s eyes widened, looking between the two Kaynes. 

Kayne brought his finger up to his lips. Then kissed his ear. “I love this part.” he whispered. 

Arthur was playing a song on the piano.

“It’s quite the stick.” Arthur said, voice utterly neutral.

“You can’t even fathom,” the other Kayne said with a nasty grin. And then he sighed, his expression clearing. 

Arthur stopped playing, his hands in his lap. 

The other Kayne was calm and light despite the obvious moment of tension that had just passed. “Look, boys. This is easy. Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy. I mean. I assume. Now! You two. Fighting over and over again. Look, I’m not a monster. I just want the Stone. So! Before I send you on your merry way, John-boy, let’s chat!” He gave a playful smack to Arthur’s left hand. 

Arthur quickly pulled his hand away, watching suspiciously.  

“About what?” 

Charlie froze. It was his voice. 

“Oh, can’t you feel it? The tension? Arthur’s so upset about our little side deal. You choosing to keep it from him…” the other Kayne said mockingly. 

His Kayne shrugged. He let Charlie go. Charlie didn’t move to interrupt. He couldn't move. He needed to know.

“I had no choice.” ‘John’ said quickly. 

“Sure.” The other Kayne rolled his eyes. “Anyway! I want everything to be as smooth as ice. So! I’ll make you a little offer. Call it DC al Coda!” 

His Kayne was mouthing the ‘lines’ He silently giggled over his own joke. 

The other Kayne slung his arm around Arthur, shaking him back and forth playfully. “That’s a joke for Arthur and I, John.” He straightened and let Arthur go. “How would you like me… to wipe… Arthur’s... Memory?” he asked, drawing it out smugly.  

Charlie turned to his Kayne accusingly. 

Kayne winked, bringing his finger to his lip again and pointing. 

“What?”

“Not entirely, mind you!” the other Kayne explained quickly. He leaned in close. “Just the little revelation we spoke about, back in New York.”

Arthur slid away on the bench, panic rising.  

“What?” ‘John’ said in surprise. 

The other Kayne reached over, grabbing Arthur and petting his hair as if to sooth him. “I could wipe it from his mind, so he wouldn’t remember that you lied to him!” 

Arthur didn’t try to get away, quaking with fear, obviously terrified. 

“John,” he said wetly. He was begging. It was obvious he was begging. “Do not—”

The other Kayne was quick. He freed Arthur and hopped off the bench. “It’s a one-time offer, John! A way to start fresh. A little boost to make you two play nice! And then you can get my Stone. What do you say?” he asked with a flourish. 

“I—I…”

“John. Listen to me,” Arthur said urgently. He stood too now, on shaky legs. It looked like he was trying to reach for his left hand, which was perfectly still, not trembling like the rest of him. 

“I—I don’t want to…” the voice from Charlie’s nightmares said. It didn’t even sound like it had convinced himself. 

“Don’t you do this. I—” Arthur said, trying to sound calm, he managed to grab his left hand, holding it. 

“Roland, please don’t do this,” he begged. He had fucking begged him.

“Do it.” the King and Roland’s voices overlapped as one.

“I’m sorry Charlie, I’m sorry, I just can’t. I can’t do this anymore. I’m so sorry, but—”

“Say it.”

“You can have him. You can have him if you just let me go.” 

The King’s laughter echoed in Charlie’s mind as he watched them. Watched it happen again. 

Arthur let go of his own hand. “No,” he said in disbelief. “No.” He said louder, angrier. Noel could see streaks of tears in the dim light of the room. 

“Do it, Kayne.” The King said with more confidence now, and his Kayne had to grab him. What would he even have done? He had no way to reach into Arthur and pull the bastard out himself, but he—

He watched as Arthur backed away from Kayne. Just like Charlie had. Tears dripping down his face. Betrayal etched.  

“Nah,” the other Kayne said, finally putting an end to it.

No. I think this just shows that you’ve nothing left to offer me Roland. But thank you for helping me with him. Good night.  

A snap and the scene was gone. They were in the Order again, but Charlie watched as Roland’s soul was rend and heard him scream. 

And he had laughed. He had fucking laughed because Fuck him. He was supposed to be his friend! Fuck him!

“There, there, I know that was a lot,” Kayne said airily, dabbing Charlie’s face with a handkerchief.

He gasped. “He…why did you?”

“Do that?” Kayne asked. “Thought it would be funny.”

“You!” 

“Besides, that,” Kayne held up his hands before Charlie could fucking attack him. “Both of you needed to know the truth, right? John talks a very good game, but you see it, don’t you? No matter how human he pretends to be he is still the King in Yellow. A manipulator. Doing what he needs to, to get what he wants. You know the King better than any human on the planet, my heart. You know his tricks. You’ve seen his acts. He can make himself sound human, that’s easy, and our poor sweet Arthur,” Kayne flicked away an imaginary tear of his own. “Well, he doesn’t know any better does he? ‘John’ has him twisted right around his weird wooden pinky.”

“You!” Charlie choked angrily.

“He’ll probably even forgive him,” Kayne continued, laughing. “Arthur’s a sucker.”

“And you’re trying to help him? Help me?” Charlie asked in disbelief. “You’re exactly like the King.”

Kayne actually looked insulted by that. “I’m nothing like Hastur, Hotlips! Hastur is a means to an end. Maybe I’ve been a bit forceful with you, Charlie, but I have never lied. Not about the things you really care about. What were those again?”

“You…”

“Go on.”

“You would help me kill the King in Yellow. And you would help me make it hurt.”

“Yes,” Kayne whispered sweetly. “The moment I fell for you, Charles. And? What else did you ask?”

“For you to never leave me.”

“And here I am,” Kayne gestured, smiling as if it was as easy as all that. “You and me together, Dimples. My plans are convoluted, I’ll admit. Sometimes I’m going to manipulate you, that’s who I am, and you have always known that, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” Charlie said between his teeth, but he was softing now.

It had hurt.

But Kayne had shown him a truth.  

“Here. You’ve been so good and patient with me. I’ll give you the happy ending.” Kayne said sincerely. “I’m going to see to it that you get to kill the King. All of him. And you’re going to make him suffer, and it’s going to hurt, and he will beg you before you are even close to being done.”

Charlie breathed in and out.

Kayne took his hand, patting it. 

“I’ll even throw in Arthur! You can save him! Save him like no one ever saved you! Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Adopted pairs?” Charlie said dryly. He turned his hand around to take Kayne’s in his. 

“Good for your sanity, pet,” Kayne chuckled. “Like I said. I don’t want him like I want you, but you could use the company. Wouldn’t it be nice? The King in Yellow on his … metaphorical knees, a friend that understands you, that would never betray you? A god you can fuck? Come on Charlie. How good is that? One more time. For me?”

Charlie caught him by the collar and kissed him hard. Kayne moaned into it. This kiss was rougher, needier, promising all the things they had between them. He could believe it. He could taste it. He would get what he wanted and get to keep what he had. He just had to keep going. 

They pulled away.

Kayne rocked on his heels, looking pleased.

“What’s next then, boss,” Charlie asked. He felt something heavy in his hand. 

“Next? You need to figure out how to draw the King out and knit him back together so that you can get to the business of killing him. You wish upon a star, Charlie.”

Charlie tightened his grip on the stone.

Kayne’s laughter bounced off the walls.

And Charlie Dowd made his wish.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Connor Stoll (aka my son)

AWW YEA CONNOR STOLL MY BABY

Off to a great start here.

So, Connor Stoll, cabin 11 (claimed), sole counselor as of TOA.

Now, to start us off, identity headcanons:

Connor's non-binary (they/them), AFAB.

so when Connor was four, they got to camp (unrelated but Travis was 6), and although they had. no clue about their identity-- still was cis girl presenting, their hair was short because it's travis and connor. they're always doing some crazy shit. so, just as they got to camp, someone misheard connor or something, and just assumed their name was connor. No, their deadname isn't anything close to connor.

but as travis was about to correct them, connor was like, no, no, trav, i like this. i'm a boy?

and neither of them know what transgenderism is at this point but they just go, okay guess connor's a boy, whatever

anyway, they sorta start questioning that just battle of the labyrinth

and then after the battle they came out to everyone

also, connor is asexual. very sex-repulsed when they were younger, is now willing to make a dirty joke or two when it suits them. romantic orientation wise? doesn't know, doesn't care. if you ask them, they'll start thinking, and then get distracted by something completely different.

Random facts:

Connor isn't dyslexic. They joke it's because Travis got double the dyslexia. In actuality, Hermes kids are the least likely to be dyslexic because Hermes being a travel god means that his kids tend to be pretty good at picking up languages, including written english.

In the same vein, Connor knows A LOT of languages. Obviously english and ancient greek, Connor also learnt Latin (before HoO), French, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, Swahili, and was brought up knowing basic gaelic terms.

Because yeah, Connor's scottish. more getting into their pre-camp story in a sec.

Connor's main friend group is Drew Tanaka and Malcolm Pace, because they're all around the same age. Connor and Drew knew each other for years before Malcolm, getting to know each other at four/five from camp, and Malcolm came when they were ten.

(Connor also has feelings for Malcolm)

Connor's also pretty close with Will, Cecil, and Lou Ellen because again, they're all year-rounders, and came to camp pre-Luke's betrayal.

Connor's birthday is April fool's day.

Connor has one of the only complete records of the titan war. they wrote it all down while it was happening-- complete notes of counselor's meetings, missions, attack plans-- lists of traitors and known allies, and, of course, lists of the dead.

Connor loves to read-- fantasy, specifically, and adventure.

They're always cold. It's not medical or anything, they're just. always cold.

Also, even though pretty much everything in Hermes cabin is communal, connor somehow manages to own even less than everyone else? they love stealing clothes from family and friends (yeah,,, clarisse isn't as fond of that one)

Connor (and Malcolm) have found complete tunnel systems and rooms around camp halfblood. Closer to the surface than the labyrinth, you can frequently find Connor there.

Pre-Camp

okay, so as i've mentioned before, Connor's scottish.

well, they lived in scotland from birth to age four (at which a point they moved to camp). I think they lived around Edinburgh, because mama stoll enjoys robbing the posh idiots in her free time, but originally the family is from the highlands.

so, the Stoll mother,,, Robin Stoll. (Robbing, because,,, yeah) I just think they're a punny family. It isn't intentional, it just is. (yeah i know i'm not as funny as I think i am).

Anyway, Robin, contrary to what you might think, had never stolen anything when she first attracted hermes. she was just a killer postwoman. she was kind to the kids on her route, who all loved her, and always had smiles and treats for the dogs, etc. Hermes was porch pirating something when they first met, and she chased him off.

of course, after attracting hermes the first time she started porch pirating, and leaving travis at home with her mother in the hopes of another glimpse of him. this eventually attracted hermes again, resulting in connor.

following that, porch pirating wasn't working to attract hermes anymore so she decided to leave the kids at home, and start robbing banks. this never did attract hermes, but the two children at home did-- travis and connor started playing with a computer one day, attracting monsters to their doorstep. although both lived, robin's mother died in the attack, and robin, forced to return home, resented the kids for her mother's death.

for a final heist, she planned to steal the queen of england's crown jewel. hermes appeared beforehand, begging her to stop--

she asked if he'd stay if she didn't.

he said no.

she never asked if he'd stay if she did.

that answer would have been no too.

so robin went off, and hermes took the kids to camp.

robin wouldn't be seen again, by hermes or her children.

[flan-tasma]

Hi. I have a request ><

Chonyung and gn! Older sibling reader, basically the reader is kind of the opposite of chongyun (like pyro element w yin energy?)

💖~Chongyun was one of the first characters that appeared in the gacha when I started Genshin and until now I am very fond of the baby, so this request makes me very happy! Thank you for doing it!

I read "sibling" and the GN became invisible. Sorry, I already fixed it ;;;;; I'm an idiot

Warning: Nope now💖, GN!Reader | English is not my native language, so if I have made any mistakes in the translation, I am open to corrections | Content in spanish and english

Spanish:

Chongyun es un precioso niño que debe ser protegido. Como su pariente sabes de su situación y lo has cuidado mucho desde que nació, definitivamente fuiste alguien muy presente en su vida.

Siempre te pide que le cuentes tus encuentros con espíritus y demonios, quiere que describas todo con lujo de detalles. Ha sido así desde que es pequeño y hay veces en las que te sigue preguntando cuando ya es adolescente.

Como el fuego y el hielo, Chongyun se derrite cuando le das afecto, le gusta mucho desde que es pequeño, pero como eres portadora de una visión pyro, también le das mucho calor, por lo que durante un tiempo mantienen distancia física.

Cuando él adquiere su visión, intenta volver a meterse entre tus brazos y usa su frío para contrarrestar tu calor. Es una batalla de tempetura que tal vez pueda causarles un resfriado en algún momento, pero lo vale.

Cuando tuvo su visión fuiste la primera persona en saberlo porque estaba muy feliz.

Ahora, ustedes dos tienen una dinámica de “Él no pidió pepinillos” y nada me hará cambiar de opinión. Definitivamente, has tenido que cambiar tu comida con él porque le dan algo picante, pero no te importa porque tu prioridad es su bienestar.

Él es tan tranquilo y sereno y tú estás atrás de él, generando caos por donde sea que pises. Hay ocasiones en las que te regaña por ser así.

Conoces a Xingqiu y lo sueles regañar por jugarle bromas muy pesadas a tu hermanito. Luego Chongyun se arrepiente de presentarlos porque los tiene a ambos jugándole bromas.

Cuando Chongyun tiene dudas o necesita entrenar como exorcista, va contigo a pedirte ayuda y consejos. Se ha acostumbrado a llevar algún snack para asegurarse de que lo ayudes.

Cuando conocen a Shenhe es muy divertido porque ahora eres una llama eternamente caótica que es correteada por dos cubos de hielo andantes para que no incendies todo Liyue.

Si Chongyun quiere salir, solo necesita decir a dónde irá y con quién y ya tiene permiso. Pero si tú sales, él insiste en saber a dónde irás, con quién, si planeas moverte de ese lugar y tu hora de llegada.

No es que no confíe en que puedes perderte o lastimarte, solo no quiere enterarse de que incendiaste una aldea y la Geoarmada lo busque para sacarte de prisión.

Hay veces en las que la gente no cree que tú seas la figura mayor y responsable, ni siquiera Shenhe lo creía, solo pensaba que eras más alto en comparación con Chongyun. Pero luego se enteran de que acabaste con un campamento de Hilichurls completo porque lastimaron mucho a Chongyun.

Si él fuera un pequeño gatito, tú serías un león que está recostado a su lado mientras él maullar y gruñe para que no te comas a alguien.

A pesar de que ambos son muy diferentes, siempre se mantienen actualizados con lo que hacen en solitario, también saben que pueden hacer equipo para realizar sus misiones.

English:

Chongyun is a precious child who must be protected. As his older sibling, you know about his situation, and you have taken great care of him since he was born, you were definitely someone very present in his life.

He always asks you to tell him about your encounters with spirits and demons, he wants you to describe everything in great detail. It's been like this since he was little, and there are times when he still asks you when he's already a teenager.

Like fire and ice, Chongyun melts when you give him affection, he has liked it a lot since he was little, but since you are the bearer of a pyro vision, you also give him a lot of heat, so for a while they maintain physical distance.

When he gains cryo vision, he tries to crawl back into your arms and uses his coldness to counteract your warmth. It's a temperature battle that may give you a cold at some point, but it's worth it.

When he had his vision, you were the first to know because he was very happy.

Now, you two have a “He didn't ask for pickles” dynamic and nothing will change my mind. You've definitely had to change your food with him because someone give him something spicy, but you don't care because your priority is his well-being.

He is so calm and serene, and you are right behind him, creating chaos wherever you step. There are times when he scolds you for being like that.

You know Xingqiu and you often scold him for playing very bad jokes on your little brother. Then Chongyun regrets introducing them because he has both of you playing pranks on him.

When Chongyun has doubts or needs to train as an exorcist, he goes to you for help and advice. He has taken to bringing a snack to make sure you help him.

When you meet Shenhe it's a lot of fun because now you're an eternally chaotic flame being chased around by two walking ice cubes so you don't burn down all of Liyue.

If Chongyun wants to go out, he just needs to say where he's going and with whom and he already has permission. But if you go out, he insists on knowing where you are going, with whom, if you plan to move from that place and your arrival time.

It's not that he doesn't trust that you can get lost or hurt, he just doesn't want to find out that you burned down a village and the Geoarmada is looking for him to break you out of prison.

There are times when people don't believe that you are the responsible older sibling, not even Shenhe believed that, she just thought that you were taller. But then they find out that you wiped out an entire camp of Hilichurls because they hurt Chongyun so much.

If he were a little kitten, you would be a lion lying next to him while he meows and growls so you don't eat someone.

Even though you are both very different, you always stay up to date with what you do alone, you also know that both can team up to carry out your missions.

[imaginelovewrite]

A price for peace part two

The palace halls of elfhame are gilded in gold and crowned in silver, gemmed flowers decorate it. A crowd of courtiers murmur in the room. Their eyes bright. They look for fresh gossip, as the king of elfhame sits on his throne. He has summoned his youngest son.

Enough of a rarity that Courtiers wonder if he is here for punishment or a reward.

a pretty noble woman named Driclellewhose skin is pink as a petunia and whose eyes are bright with hunger whispersWhat do you think the prince is summoned for?

Conrad a nobleman who would be considered handsome by humans if not for his bug like eyes says Idon’t know. But I hear the princess of the undersea was summoned as well

another woman named Forstyhia with gills on her neck wearing a dress so see through you can see the hairs of her pussy chuckles. “that’s nothing, I heard the general’s ward was summoned”

Both Conrad and Dricielle gasp. “No!” They say at the same time

“Yes!” Forsythia says.

“You think the king will make her his whore?”

Conrad who had been hoping to make one of the general’s wards one of his mistresses has a dirty smile on his face. “I hope the king is fond of sharing.”

.

The doors swing open Cardan’s POV

“Father.” I say bowing. The high king looks at me as if I’m garbage. I wonder if rolling my eyes would be considered treason. He does acknowledge me with a “son.” Though the words sound bitter and resentful coming from his lips.

My gaze goes to the blue haired Baphen. Who, to his credit has his eyes meet the floor. The astrologer is dressed in a purple robe of stars. The very same outfit he was said to wear when he ruined my life.

I continue to stare holes into the man, who seems to be sweating. A smirk enters my lips. Good. He should feel guilty for ruining my life. He didn’t interpret the full scope of the prophecy. And for that I have lived unloved and uncared the moment I was born.

Finally I turn my attention to father. “Why am I here?” I find myself relieved my voice sounds bored and uncaring. I am anything but. Father only summons me for revels, family feasts or punishment. And there is no revel or feasts right now. I can feel my heart thump against my chest.

High king Eldred gives a satisfied smirk. I want to rip that smirk off my father’s face.

The door swings open again.

I turn and see both Grand general Madoc and his ward Jude Duarte. The grand general is dressed in a red doublet and black pants. He is a large man with fangs. His eyes settle on me. I can feel his glare. But my attention is to the girl beside him.

Jude Duarte the ward of grand general Madoc. She is an exquisitely lovely girl whose willow brown hair soft brown eyes make her seem doll-like. Her shapely figure shows even in the modest white dress she wears. The noble men all look at her with lusts. But at a distance as the grand general is very protective of his ward. His sharp sword causes many of them to back away

I can’t stop looking at her however. I can feel my pants tighten, as I wonder what it would be like to rip that dress off her body. To feel her smooth skin against mine. I must be blatantly ogling her. Madoc’s blood lust can be felt a mile away, his sword is slightly unsheathe.

I know what the male courtiers are all thinking as Madoc’s attention focuses on me. That they’re glad they’re not me at the moment.

Jude keeps staring at me. There is a look of hate in her eyes. Not that I can blame her. Just yesterday I threw her down a river. I know she thinks the worse of me.

Madoc’s blood lust has gotten more volatile. I know for certain he is thinking of killing me right now.

Eldred watches this go on. A vein bulges in his head. I know what he’s thinking. He’s thinking my idiot son…. Good for nothing. But he coughs and our entire attention is on him. “We have one more quest.” He says, his voice booming down the halls.

There is a nervous titter among the courtiers. When the door opens again.

Nicasia the princess of the undersea. Orlaugh’s daughter is a great beauty in faerie. Her body exactly like what a faerie woman is, flat chested long limbs and coral pink lips. She gives Jude a haughty smile as she sees the get up Jude is wearing. Nicasia wears a dress so transparent it shows of her skin.

Jude’s hand shake. She knows her mortal body is very different from the bodies of fae. Her hands shake as the women give her cruel smiles. Their eyes judging at how her breast stand out even in this modest dress, how her curves still show.

But Jude must know, her body is provocative. That all fae men are attracted to her. They don’t bother to hide the lusts in their eyes after all.

Nicasia is looking at my father. And I know what she’s thinking “When I am queen I will have your head.” He hate is obvious. In fact I see father smirk. He must enjoy this. Enjoy having the princess in his power. When Nicasia turns to Madoc, there is so much anger and rage, I know she wants to kill him. Madoc however does not flinch.

Eldred his voice booming down the halls all looks at them. There is a magnanimous smile on his face. It puts the four of us summoned on edge. That type of smile on a king, usually meant punishment. Eldred’s eyes land on Jude. She visibly flinches. I see her hand shake.

It takes a while for me to understand. She’s terrified. Eldred’s lips curl into a smile. It takes me one second, one second longer than it should to realize his enjoying this. Father is enjoying this. Having Jude and everyone under his mercy.

Well since father hates me anyway, I wonder if I should punch him in the jaw.

Father’s eyes glitter with mirth. He loves having a beautiful girl on his mercy. A gnawing feeling hits me. What if Father wishes to make Jude his consort?” I shake my head at the thought. Surely Jude is too young for even father to stomach it. There is a grin on father’s face as he looks at me.

Son of a bitch. Now I will enjoy destroying that crown he loves so much. “Grand general Madoc, to honor you for your defeat of the undersea.” Nicasia cannot hide her rage and humiliation. She is trembling. There are a few snorts I hear from the gentry.

They hate Nicasia as they all hate the undersea. They love seeing her brought down. “You are to marry Princess Nicasia and Prince Cardan shall marry your ward Jude Duarte!”

[always-a-joyful-note]

So because I want to record my progression of where I am in the story, I'm posting my impressions of the units so far. (Disclaimer: I haven't read many of the stories, and about half the knowledge I have is from osmosis and spoilers. The other half is actually reading wiki entries and the actual stories. So if these takes are inaccurate, that is probably the point XD)

Without further ado....

fine - unit of 2 rich kids who are sort of trying to be slightly less evil but kind of still are evil, one (1) theatre kid who is just there for the ride and his crush, and a butler with the face of an angel and the threatening aura of a ezekiel-accurate angel in disguise. Also another impression I had of it was one chronically ill idol stan with three of his idol crushes. But they're solid, if slightly flowery; not exactly my style but their songs are good.

Trickstar - literally my sons. Traumatised idiots who choose to continue to see the bright side with a slice of anarchy. They're all so dumb. Their leader looks straight laced but is more insane than his co-leader who is perpetually wearing the ^u^ expression (except when trauma slapped). The other two members are a camera-phobic gamer boy who is also a model and a guy who exudes reliability and sanity but is also kind of an insane workaholic with inferiority issues. I'm adopting them all and their songs are like…both generic but SO sincere you can't hate it.

Ryuseitai - Me when first meeting them: Awww! A power ranger themed unit! So cute! Me, after hearing stuff about the two senior members' lore and how they recruited their youngsters: (clutching my heart, trying not to sob/lose my mind) Aww! A power ranger themed unit! S-so cute! I would die for literally all of them…WHY. Such silly happy sincere tunes sung by such silly, devastating characters??? Found family, to me

Alkaloid - everyone here believes they are holding everyone else back with their psychological problems (Mayoi), disability problems (Tatsumi), ability problems (Aira), or culture shock problems (Hiiro). And yet they're the unit whose songs have mostly all been ones I absolutely loved. Which means the assembly machine factory idols Eichi's got going on are working and idk how I feel about that

Eden - A bunch of guys with severe family issues who probably have never read the bible (well, maybe Nagisa has). So, like, tw inaccurate depictions of the bible? Anyway, deranged quartet of a softie obsessed with cool rocks but really he has sort of a god complex, a guy with a perpetual :D who is as smart as he thinks he is but is also kind of oblivious to all of his other skills and flaws (and thus is a combo of terrifying snake and kind of someone you're sort of humouring because he's funny), a spoiled princess who might have a bit of a savior complex, and a dude who kinda just got swept along for the ride but is actually really fond of them. And it shows in their music.

Valkyrie - Just….theatre kids, who put the drama in dramatic and the intense in intensity (that's definitely not how the expression is used). They also have a very strange thing going on even though they're trying to be healthier, but I'm too afraid to ask. Unfortunately, though, they have some killer compositions and so many references to Classics and Things, not to mention their songs are genuinely good for those who want that quick theatrical vibe

2wink - Adorable twins that I was lured into thinking were the normal mischief twin duo trope but what in the actual ensemble were the writers DOING? They deserve at least half the cw/tw tags. Also, one of them is kinda like Trickstar (just wants to make things brighter) while the other one has schemes and will not hesitate to destroy you while giggling, yes. All that angst but they have such cheery tunes. Like, boys please….

Crazy:B - I mean, with a name like that….listen. You think it's the guy with the metabolism-related medical condition who has a dad implied to be accused of cannibalism and his freeloader who is a literal prince but also constantly broke that would be the most insane. But, no, we also have a fifteen year old assassin who has definitely killed and a guy who is literally both committing identity theft AND helping in witness protection. But, yes, their songs are fun, as is their dynamic. Also…Amagi brothers. Ough.

Undead - This is just…four urban fantasy love interests thrown into a unit. I'm not exactly sure what urban fantasy race Adonis and Kaoru are (though sometimes I'm inclined to think adonis is the protagonist who just kinda got swept along for the ride except he does have the vibe sometimes (aka casually kidnapping HiMERU)) but a vampire and werewolf are very obviously there. Really do love their rock and roll style, like come on (though I sometimes do think it'd be cool if they let Rei's love for jazz into their songs)

Ra*bits - Look. I love them. It really is just a single dad with one of the most messed up backstories doing his best. But like, also, leave them alone please?? The writers really just made them the damsel in distress character that makes Subaru go "oh, I have to take this revolution stuff seriously" and that's not even mentioning all the other stuff they seem to go through??? Like they do not belong in whatever genre Enstars is going for but they make it work but….let them rest. Songs not my style but they fit their vibe of "smile and spread joy" which works cause I do feel joy. Like Trickstar without the revolutionary goals.

Akatsuki - TBH, I'm still kind of wondering why these three (a warrior, a mangaka, and a tailor who used to be a delinquent) are still idols. I mean, they do have talent and traditional aesthetic is fire, and they're definitely sort of found family, but why still idols guys? That said, again, songs not my style but they definitely capture their aesthetic and vibe and that's always cool to me. Also, one of the members was raised in a Buddhist temple and helped with funerals, and I do not know enough about Buddhism enough to say if they portray a Buddhist accurately but given how they portray everyone else's quirks, it probably still has a giant dose of deranged on it.

Knights - HAHAHAHAHA. They're all insane. But they have talent and earned their place in the big three. But that does not make them less insane. That's all because I will go a bit barmy if I think about them too much. Silly, insane knights who enjoy hobbies like kidnapping (affectionate) and dancing/singing (will kill you in a duel)

Switch - Look….at heart, I can't hate these fantasy game isekai themed group. I enjoy their music because I do like the electropop remix/edm thing they have going on. And it DOES kill me that the only two 3-people units (Akatsuki and Switch) both have the dynamic of "a couple of parents and their beloved and most treasured cinnamon roll of a chaotic son." But like Valkyrie, I don't know what's going on with the senior members and am too afraid to ask, especially since they seem fine with it while their son with synesthesia cheers them on.

MaM - He is literally a cowboy. I - is there a thing with Japan and cowboys? And did someone at the writer's table see that samurai, Victorian thief, cowboys, and pirates post? Because somehow, the only member of this unit is all of them. A very stark contrast against his weirdly cheerleader/mom friend songs. I know he has mommy issues (mafia thing, I think) but.....son, are you okay?

Double Face - Yeah, okay, I love them. They might be the murder unit and I still have no clue to their formation but I love it. Put the Victorian cowboy thief samurai pirate and the child assassin together and you get secret agent type music that sounds like it could be in an old spy flick? How can you not love it?

[seventeenlovesthree]

OPLA - episode 5 first impressions

SPOILERS AHEAD.

I love that they're amateurs in this, literal kids playing pirates, with Nami being their only braincell. Several times over. Amazing. (Also, bonus point for the boob window.)

Oooooooh, we're getting official First Mate acknowledgement - even if it was meant to push Zoro towards his "job description", I am all here for it. These guys are not built to "talk emotions", never have been, never will be. And yet, Luffy still remembers every single word Zoro said to him when they first met, huh...

Sanji ("little eggplant"!!!) being a British lad swearing until the start of dawn is not something I knew I needed in my life, holy shit. He's sappy af of course, but I am glad they didn't overdo it with him.

Both Nami and Zoro being not amused by Sanjis demeanour - and the latter ACTUALLY teasing her! - is also pretty damn amazing. Bonus points for Luffy (pure, charming, milk-drinking Luffy) having no idea what "boyfriend" means.

The scene with Mihawk (also gay-coded as fuck, just like all swordsmen in this show so far... "And when I'm done with you, I'll take your captain", "though I do like your hat", huh) was the first time the CGI kinda bothered me, everything prior to it has been solid in my eyes so far.

Generally, still a big fan of the cautious-yet-on-the-same-page kinda relationship they show Nami and Zoro to have. It's just a very interesting angle, Zoro actually responding to and being curious about Nami, them throwing shade at both Luffy and Usopp is just, actually playing GUESSING GAMES about each other (and them actually being HONEST about it), is unusual but appreciated. "Why do you even care?" - "Because you're my friend, you idiot." MAN, I love their portrayal here so much.

Koby/Helmeppo relationship improving, yaaaaay!

Just like the Nami/Kaya parallel, I liked the Luffy/Sanji parallel they did here. It was very simple in execution, but that's how all set-ups between Luffy and the others have been so far, bonding over goals and dreams.

Zeff's such a Gordan Ramsey, screaming at the adult in Sanji, but being all adorable about him being his son, gaaaah.

And Nami really, really grew fond of the boys, you can feel that the power of friendship is catching up on her and it HURTS. Her holding Usopp's hand as they watched Zoro getting striked down...

Fight choreography is still stellar. And man, adding the heartbeat to the stabbing scene between MIhawk and Zoro was KILLER.

It's a shame they didn't show Sanji watching the strike down, but man... Luffy jumping to Zoro's side means everything, as always. "He said it's too early for you to die!" "If I fail to become the greatest swordsman, you'll be disappointed." "You could never fail me." "Never." Guys, that's where he fell. He fell hard. Oh, the PAIN.

[hils79]

Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 32

He's such a little shit (affectionate)

I love how much they love each other

Did An Wenyi join the polycule or is he just standing in for Baozi?

I love An Wenyi and no one is more surprised by this than me

Okay no team's win rate is 100%, and if that's true why did the investors pull their funding?

Oh no. I smell a new ship.

Uh, no. They have a manager.

Oh I think he wants to be their guild manager not the team manager

Ye Xiu: I didn't adopt you for you to just manage the guild in the background

You might be old, but you're not as old as Wei Chen. God, he's such a little shit (affectionate)

He just can't help himself

Mo Fan's like 'I don't think I can kill him for you he's our captain'

Every time I say there's no more space on this graphic they add someone else. There's only 8 episodes left though so that has to be it now, surely

Oh my god look at these precious idiots having a pillow fight

Well, that's one way to make the new guy feel included.

I love that he didn't even ask any questions and just went straight into it

I love them.

I love that he's making them bond as a team by repeatedly punishing them. Don't punish my son for defending his teammates!

Oh, boys. I think you're all forgetting that Wu Chen was captain of his own team before he joined you. Your nonsense isn't going to wash with him

Or he could do their collective punishments for them with a bit of help. Which I'm sure is the sort of nonsense Ye Xiu was expecting to happen to get them to accept the newbie

I am so very fond of these two

Oh, shit, he's genuinely pissed off this time

Must defend my girlfriend

Oh no strife within the team!

I'm not wild about the fact that it's the only woman on the team that's getting arrogant and cocky. And I bet they lose the next game now to teach her about humility

What is it about this team volunteering to retire from the league in the event of a loss. Stop being so dramatic!

I thought he'd been caught kissing until I remembered. Anyway, I'm sure Wei Chen has misunderstood and is going to tell everyone that Wu Chen has betrayed them

Argh I hit the screenshot limit but oh no Ye Xiu has been arrested on suspicion of cheating and Wei Chen thinks Wu Chen is responsible! I'm sure it's going to be something innocent. The drama!

[verpaso]

A season 6 pirates scene idea I don’t want to put on my writing/art blog

[Ezra stands before a door on a ship. His hands are tied behind his back, and on each side of him there is a soldier. The soldier on the left has his hand clamped hard around Ezra’s upper arm. Ezra’s face is hardened and glaring.]

ATKINSON: Let him in.

[The soldier to the right opens the door, and Ezra is forced inside, though he snarls at the soldier as he’s forced to take a seat as well.

He sits across from Atkinson at a desk, unaware of who he is. Atkinson is stiff and silent, just staring, maybe analyzing. The room is a captain’s quarters, very neat, though the walls host several guns and blades. A large map hangs on the back wall, various pins stuck into it. The desk is littered with papers and navigation equipment.

Ezra’s eye catches on a small crystal skull, being used as a paperweight. He inhales in recognition.]

EZRA: You’ve been to Dead Man’s Cove.

ATKINSON: Yes, rather. [He picks up the skull, and ponders it.] A long time ago, now.

EZRA: [Sneers.] Now you’ve grown old. Is that your game? Reliving your glory days?

[Atkinson sets the skull down between them, facing Ezra, with a harsh slam.]

ATKINSON: I believe it was Dead Man’s Cove, where I came across one Captain Ortiz, and gave him a rather nasty gash on the cheek. Tell me, Ezra, did that leave a scar?

[Ezra hisses in shock and anger. But he pauses, and frowns in thought, and as he realizes the significance of what Atkinson has said, his eye widens.]

EZRA: That scar—that day—that scar came from— [And his face drops into a deep, ragged rage.] You’re the Pirate Slayer. You’re Atkinson.

ATKINSON: That’s General, to you.

[Ezra starts to pull wildly against his restraints, standing and knocking the chair back. The soldiers approach, and he screams out as they hold him.]

EZRA: You have no idea what you’re in for, you snake! When—WHEN I get out of here, you’re DEAD! No—No, you’re going to wish you were dead, once I’ve started with you—you—

ATKINSON: [He walks around the desk and approaches.] Are you quite done?

[Ezra gears up to spit in his face, but Atkinson grabs his jaw and jerks his head to the side with his good eye.]

ATKINSON: You do not frighten me. I have killed pirates far more formidable than you. If I am a snake, as you claim, then you are the vermin I am meant to eradicate. Now. You have something I want.

EZRA: You already have the Eye.

ATKINSON: What kind of pirate are you, traveling with a British soldier? It must be against your Code. [Clicks his tongue and shakes his head.] Well, the poor boy will be glad to know that an Act of Grace is waiting for him upon his return home.

EZRA: Simon? [He grins.] Simon isn’t coming back to you, you idiot. That’s your own fault!

ATKINSON: Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

EZRA: Don’t quote scripture at me, you fool. Who are you to take on the role of God?

ATKINSON: I am His humble servant.

EZRA: HA! Humble.

[Atkinson lands a rough punch in Ezra’s gut, and Ezra’s knees buckle despite himself. Long hair falls in front of his face. Again, he pulls against the soldiers’ grip and growls in Atkinson’s face.]

EZRA: You’ve disowned Simon, and he’s disowned your family name. Your lineage will die with you, old and alone on your hollow estate, and I will piss on your grave, and—

ATKINSON: I’ve had quite enough of this. Get him out! [Shooing motion.]

EZRA: [Has begun to be dragged back to the door, heels dragging.] —your faithful son will be known not as an Atkinson but as a pirate, and a genius, and the only fond memories he will look back on are those of his mother—

[A pale hand grabs a crystal skull. Ezra stops and gapes as Atkinson hurls the skull towards him, just too high to miss his head. The skull thumps against the wall and cracks, and Atkinson is seething, pale face tinted red, blonde hair falling out of place, blue eyes swirling with rage. The skull breaks when it hits the ground.

Ezra is silent for a moment, and the soldiers look almost frightened. Then, Atkinson composes himself and waves them off. Ezra grins, wildly, and starts to laugh, as he’s dragged back out of the room.]

[madmanwonder]

Type: Ask

AU: College- Student AU

AU: How does each girl introduce herself to Ash's mom Delia when they finally meet the boy who they got very close to? (Serena) (May) (Dawn) (Lillie)

Serena: I am your son future girlfriend and wife and mother of our eleven children.

X-xx-X

May: Your son needs my help with his grade.

X-xx-X

Dawn: Your son is an idiot. But he my idiot.

X-xx-X

Lillie: Nebby like him. A-And I sort of fond of him....

[mad-hatter5709]

Part 1, probably will be a part two, but I can't promise anything.

“Damian, where did that baby come from?” Tim looks worried, as if he had stolen the baby.

“Tt. Don’t worry about it. Help me keep them from Father. He will inevitably try to adopt the child, but they are mine.” There’s a possessive edge to Damian’s voice, somehow fond in his curt, formal way of speaking.

Damian didn’t know how this happened. He was hung up on idiotic what ifs, but he couldn’t stop himself from wondering what would have happened had he been able to take his clones away before they were brainwashed, had they still been infants. Surely he would be a horrible father.

He looked up, and where a burger place had been, there was now another building. The sign on the front said “Supernatural Clone Adoptions”. He was merely curious. He was 14, much too young to be a father. But he still walked into the building, expecting a rundown, small place with a few babies and young children, maybe a teen around his age or something. Instead, he walked into a luscious field, covered in flowers and bumble bees, trees on a hill a few minutes’ walk away, and over a hundred babies and children, basking in the sunlight, two teens looking to be a bit older than him teaching the older kids how to read and write in the shade of a gazebo, keeping an eye on the rest of the kids as they do. Suddenly, a toddler runs into Damian’s legs, and falls over. Immediately, one of the teens comes running, looking over the kid and picking them up, staring at Damian.

“Oh, hello. You’ve come to adopt, yes? I must say, you look remarkably like a few of the kids. Come to the gazebo, we can talk in the shade.” The teen, a male, speaks, and gestures Damian over to the gazebo. Damian walks over, relaxed but cautious. The other teen, a female, looks up and sees him, greeting him warmly as the male teen soothes the toddler and kisses his forehead.

“Hello, you must be here to adopt. You’re looking for a baby, yes? We have plenty. Oh, where are my manners? I’m Dani, and this is my brother Dan. We run the place. We act as a sort of.. clone protective services? We care for the clones, and make sure to keep them safe from nefarious people. What’s your name? Are you looking for a boy or a girl?” Dani looks at him warmly, holding a baby girl in her arms and rocking her gently as the baby sleeps.

“I’m Damian. But I wasn’t- I’m not-” Damian is quickly cut off.

“oh, nice to meet you Damian! I have just the baby for you, if you’re trustworthy. We don’t know that you’ll be a good father to him, after all.” Dan smirks, not that Damian sees it, and suddenly Damian feels offended.

“Are you insinuating I can’t take care of a child? I am amazing with children, I’ll have you know. I would love that child like they were my own, and I have no problems providing for them. Just because they were a clone, doesn’t mean I would love them any less. I have seen what that can do to a person, my best friend’s a clone and his DNA donor was horrible to him. The donor’s changed, luckily, and they now have a very good father/son relationship. I have never once implied or even thought he was less of a person just because he was created in a lab instead of a womb. I was born in an artificial womb myself.” Damian may have gotten a little carried away, but to think these people he barely knew would say he was incapable of caring for a child!

Dani looks at Damian for a minute, then looks at Dan, and Damian feels a low humming before both Dani and Dan turn to him, and smile.

“I’ll show you him, he’s enraptured by the flowers.” Dan gets up, the toddler he was consoling now playing with the other children, and walks over to a small child, picking him up, and handing him to Damian. Damian looks at the baby in his arms, and holds him close supporting his head. He rocks from side to side gently, as he has seen Richard so with small children after rescues, and he can barely stop himself from cooing at the child.

Masterlist

Dani should Kidnap The Clones.

It's basicly protective custody. Preemptive child services, if you will. NONE of these fuckers out here makin adorable clone baby just cause they want kids!

*kicks down the door to your shady lab* Knock Knock! ITS THE POLICE! *Walker's Shock troopers swarm the place as Dani secures the kids*

Look me in the eyes. You KNOW he'd love an excuse to enforce The Rules on people technically outside his jurisdiction. It's for The Children(tm)! Why, he simply had no CHOICE!

Meanwhile? Dani is shoving all these mal-adjusted Murder Clones into her Lair? Which is? Basicly a Door style Lair she hid inside Danny's Lair for safe keeping. It's shoved behind a vending machine just outside the observatory. And the inside? Goes on for DAYS.

Like national parks and every beautiful beach she ever came across. She smashed together the BEST sights and places she's found in her travels, like a collection. Always adding more. New waterfalls, new noodle shops, new fields of wine grapes. It's... beautiful. Snapshots of every wonderous little thing about Earth, stitched together.

They can't hurt anyone. Can't achieve their "objectives". Are just treated like actual individuals and the children they truely are. Are surrounded by other Clones. So it's NORMAL here. Just? All of it.

But also?

Dani and Dan? Teaming up to make History's Scariest Adoption Agency(TM). Dan runs it. Dan wants to know why EXACTLY you want a kid. Explain yourself to Dan. What are your references? Qualifications. He's doing a home visit to inspect the premises. He BETTER not find any suspicious Labs.

And? It just? Appears out of nowhere. It's powered by Zone Bullshit. One second you're thinking "oh woe is me D:> I will never have a child to fill my lovely home, because of all my Superhero Secrets and also because government bureaucracy!" And the next?

.....wasn't that an out of business taco bell? "Zone Adoptions"?

"....Free Clone Baby?"

Okay that is HIGHLY suspicious and as a hero you are basicly legally obligated to investigate. But now it's bigger on the inside? Fancy waiting room? You are being interrogated? Wait, no, you're supposed to be the one doing the-?

Somehow? You leave with your Clone Son from another Dimension. And a pamphlet. You're scheduled for a home visit in three days. You... you never told them where you live.

Somehow that doesn't seem like it will slow them down.

Did the Fae just Suprise Baby you with a clone baby? Can they DO that? W... what's happening? What days is this? Who ARE YOU PEOPLE?! HUH!?!?

Just? Imagine. IMAGINE. I was gonna say Bruce... but?

Damian.

He finds himself... pondering What Could Have Been. Had his Clones not wanted him dead. Wondering if he could have saved them. If, perhaps, he had found them as infants. Raised them. Could he have given them a good life? Been a good father?

He gets emotional. Fatherly. He's about 14.

Dan's been around Ghosts too long to remember how humans age or how age relates to development. This one TALKS like An Adult. Must be one. Probably just short.

And Damian? Never backs down. The second Dan starts challenging him? His character is flawless and his morals divine. He has never done anything wrong, ever, in his LIFE. Fuck you. And on TOP of that? He not only will be the SINGLE GREATEST FATHER TO EVER FATHER, his home is the most loving and beloved ON THE PLANET!

In entirety of EARTH'S history, no less!

....what are they arguing about?

*is handed a baby and kicked out of Dan's adoption agency*

See you in a few days!

(o.o ) *happy gurgling from the baby* *Damian.exe has stopped working*

Smash cut, after Damian speed runs his stages of grief at his own Dumbass Life Choices, to his rocking back up at the Manor like? Congratulations, Father. I have brought you your first grandson! Do Not ask how I obtained him. It was likely dubiously legal but I will not be returning him. We have bonded.

And just? Annihilating the collective Bats on one go. You did what? You have What?! That is a baby! WHY IS THERE A BABY?! How is there a baby!? WHOS BABY!? *sirens going off and everyone panicking*

Will Damian be allowed to KEEP the Baby? Ha! Hell no. Bruce will. Damian is a child. But it will be a Needlessly Dramatic Bat Cold War Of Dramatic Drama to pry that small cherubic baby from his grip long enough for Bruce to fill out the paperwork.

Child thieving bastard that he is. How dare he. That is Damian's SON! D:<

*happy oblivious baby noises as Alfred feeds him in the background, while the Bats do their Dramatic Custody War*

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @nerdpoe @lolottes @mutable-manifestation

[myheadsgonenumb]

What are your Regulus Black headcanons?

Thanks for the ask. I'm afraid I am very firmly in the "Regulus was a baddie" camp.

He was always Walburga's golden son ("he was younger than me, and a much better son as I was constantly reminded"). Their whole lives Sirius was a scapegoat and Regulus could do no wrong. There was no logical reason for this, it was just Walburga and Orion's brand of abusive parenting. But it played the boys continually off each other and they were never close.

The whole family (including Sirius) had similar personalities - fierce loyalty and destructive tempers and cruel and hurtful to those they considered "less". Because Sirius was disliked, he was treated cruelly and so pulled away from his family, delighting in being "nothing like them" (on the surface). As Regulus was treated well he toed the line and believed in their ideologies ("I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal . . . my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them.”)

The whole family (apart from Sirius) were very fond of Kreacher and treated him well, as they knew the value of a good elf. Regulus smoothed over the cognitive dissonance of treating house elves well and muggleborns badly by believing that house elves had a place in magical society (even if a lowly one), whereas muggleborns did not.

There was never really any question of him being sorted anywhere but Slytherin.

There was also never any question of him wanting to run away when Sirius did. He was happy at home and glad to see the back of his brother, who he had always found to be a terrible embarrassment, especially once they were both at school.

Walburga bought his way onto the Quidditch team in his second year by doing a Malfoy and buying the whole team brooms (this was done mostly to play mindgames with Sirius, whom she had never bought a broom for and who still rode a school broom). His first year on the team was disastrous and after that he was sent to Quidditch camp over the summer. He came back greatly improved.

As a Quidditch player and a pureblood from a sacred 28 family he was popular in Slytherin and increasingly influential as he got older. He arrived at school just as the first whispers of the mysterious Dark Lord were starting to circulate and - along with his friends - he became obsessed with him very quickly, starting a scrapbook and a shrine to him ("Beneath this was a collection of yellow newspaper cuttings, all stuck together to make a ragged collage. Hermione crossed the room to examine them. 'They’re all about Voldemort,' she said. 'Regulus seems to have been a fan for a few years before he joined the Death Eaters'.")

As the war heated up, he was part of a gang who terrorised muggleborns at school, and officially joined the Death Eaters at the end of his fifth year. Voldemort had already stationed some school age Death Eaters at Hogwarts, to lead the acts of terror, to recruit an to gather information - when they left Reg and Snape were the replacements. He worked as a spy for his last two years at school.

He did take part in raids, and killed and tortured people - though he never admitted to his parents the full extent of his activities.

He discovered the horcruxes almost by accident. He became aware that Voldemort had a secret, something he was not sharing even with his closest Death Eaters and - mistrustful and curious about the secrecy - started to poke around ( "I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret"). He gave Kreacher to Voldemort as he thought this was the best way to find out what he was up to. When he realised he was disgusted and set out to destroy the locket. He turned against Voldemort as he realised Voldemort was only interested in his own power and immortality and that the ideals he espoused were a means to an end. He was horrified at the thought of horcruxes, as being a particularly disgusting brand of magic, but he didn't actually change his mind about pureblood ideology (

[horizonandstar]

me and my idiot sons sus and moob

[hallowsden]

@f4nd0m-fun here

So, I was on the ship Wiki, and I'm wondering what your Crane ships are?

I stumbled on Scriddler and TwoCrow, and I couldn't help but peek at TwoRiddle, so now I'm thinking about TwoScriddler, and oh no.

I barely know these chars and yet here I am.

Now combine this with John barely speaking with his fam and... you got Danny showing up on his doorstep one day, and Crane may have forgot to tell his buds about it, and you've got a small mess.

Personally, if I had to ship Harvey with someone, it's Gilda or Bruce (or both) (Unless it's Batman Forever version, then definitely TwoRiddle cause HAVE YOU SEEN THEM!?)

But honestly? This made me thinking... (Long ass rant ahead that may or may not make sense. This is written while being sleep deprived)

Jonny boy here ain't the only one who suffered abuse as a child. Both Harvey and Edward have as well. They both have Daddy Issues while Jonathan, depending on how you interpret him or which backstory you use, have granny issues + religious trauma or also Daddy Issues.

That being said, Harvey gives me the "this family ends with me" vibes, especially after he became Two-Face, and may be put off with Danny's presence for a while. He doesn't want to continue the cycle and become his dad. He'd likely would have liked, at the very least, to have been informed about the new addition to their family so he can... Prepare essentially/get used to the idea/plan how to avoid Danny. He's... For the lack of better words, cautious/careful around Danny, as to not accidentally trigger himself by accidentally hurting the kid. Does this make sense?

It'll take a while for Harvey to relax around Danny but for sure, he's gonna be very protective, if because he's Jonny's kid at first. He'll come to adore the kid and while not see him as a son but like... Oh, who's he and Harv kidding, that's his kid now and too hell with a coin, fuck with one of his then you'd get instant death penalty with him as the Executioner.

Harvey is gonna try and teach Danny law, specifically how to use loopholes against the system and evade arrests and such cause what else is gonna try to do to bond with Danny? Man's life had always revolved around law... Though... there are times where he'd go into this sort of story mode, recalling his experiences with Danny. He's soft and distant here but this is his way to fully open up, if that makes sense.

Harv, on the other hand? Teaching Danny how the criminal world works. Kid needs to learn how Gotham works. Can't have him die (er- turn fully ghosts? Yeah, he and Harvey don't understand Danny's halfa nature but they try and are supportive... They can't help but be reminded of themselves actually-) or Jonny's gonna be beyond pissed in a whole new level. Is actually rather strict, makes sure to put ground rules and boundaries with Danny compared to the rest of the parental unit that is Twoscriddler. Someone has to be the strict parent... How he and Harvey are considered the functional parent here is cause they actually practice self-care, well to an extent anyways, compared to his idiot lovers who would go days on end without eating, drinking, or sleeping, if the chance rises.

Harv, though rarely, would go into story mode as well to Danny, but in his perspective. There are many times he and Harvey hate each other but... They lived and went through the same life. Just differently. He mainly does this after something especially happened with Danny, like say, Danny nearly got shot...

Now, Edward on the other hand... Really depends on the version but in my opinion, he'd be indifferent with Danny at first, if a bit surprised. Jonny, with a kid? Now, isn't that interesting. Would definitely grow very fond of Danny very quickly, and if he learns that Danny's good with inventing and such, he is, for sure, gonna nurture those skills.

Eddie boy is gonna drag Danny to his workshop so they can bond over building shit. Also, VIDEO GAMES CAUSE YOU CAN NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE THAT EDDIE'S NOT A GAMER! Gets too competitive, too loud, just overall chaotic fun with Eddie also rambling about shit in the process. Just, the two are fucking gremlins and fueling each other's chaotic streak somehow cause while Eddie is an adult very full of himself, he acts too much like a child when he's relaxed and not trying to maintain his dignified image even though everyone has at least witness his childish streak at least once (this including his tantrums/meltdowns...)

The fun uncle/dad that managed to help Danny feel like a normal kid he wasn't able to be exactly due to living with mad scientists (who wanted to kill him later on even if they didn't know it was him). Eddie boy would also definitely help tutor Danny. Just that he may get impatient or teaches things too fast. Best that Jonny's there helping with tutoring so it's better paced and not going overboard.

But uh- yeah, it's gonna be a bit of mess when Harvey/Harv entered the shared apartment and see a random kid in there (who both resembles Jonny in some ways and also has the right coloration to be considered Wayne bait AND OH BOY-) huddled in blankets. Eddie would likely just walk past Danny, and after a few moments, walks backwards and stare at Danny, processing, before getting Jonny or Harvey, before trying to maybe interrogate? Depends if he slept or was hyperfocused on a project in his workshop.

[Also, @f4nd0m-fun, I swear, you've been fueling my need to create more Uncle Scarecrow content- DO YOU KNOW HOW HYPER AND EXCITED YOU MADE WHEN YOU @ ME!? Well, I think you're gonna see it when I do the reblogs... Just- XD, I'm having too much fun today/last night/lately (wtf is time anymore)]

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: Daenerys IV (Chapter 23)

Her cooks had prepared them a magnificent meal of honeyed lamb, fragrant with crushed mint and served with the small green figs she liked so much. Two of Dany's favorite hostages served the food and kept the cups filled—a doe-eyed little girl called Qezza and a skinny boy named Grazhar. 

+.+.+

They were brother and sister, and cousins of the Green Grace, who greeted them with kisses when she swept in, and asked them if they had been good.

The Green Grace's cousins are her hostages? I'm sure Galazza Galare is totally cool with that.

+.+.+

"Perhaps your gods can help us. Ask them to send a gale and sweep the galleys from the bay."

"I shall pray and make sacrifice. Mayhaps the gods of Ghis will hear me." Galazza Galare sipped her wine, but her eyes did not leave Dany. 

It's the little things.

+.+.+

"Storms rage within the walls as well as without. More freedmen died last night, or so I have been told."

"Three." Saying it left a bitter taste in her mouth. "The cowards broke in on some weavers, freedwomen who had done no harm to anyone. All they did was make beautiful things. I have a tapestry they gave me hanging over my bed. The Sons of the Harpy broke their loom and raped them before slitting their throats."

I wonder who told Galazza Galare?

I seem to remember another Green Grace cousin was ordered to buy weavers a new loom.

The noble Grazdan had once owned a slave woman who was a very fine weaver, it seemed; the fruits of her loom were greatly valued, not only in Meereen, but in New Ghis and Astapor and Qarth. When this woman had grown old, Grazdan had purchased half a dozen young girls and commanded the crone to instruct them in the secrets of her craft. The old woman was dead now. The young ones, freed, had opened a shop by the harbor wall to sell their weavings. Grazdan zo Galare asked that he be granted a portion of their earnings. "They owe their skill to me," he insisted. "I plucked them from the auction bloc and gave them to the loom."

[...]

"Let us say Elza. Here is our ruling. From the girls, you shall have nothing. It was Elza who taught them weaving, not you. From you, the girls shall have a new loom, the finest coin can buy. That is for forgetting the name of the old woman." - Daenerys I, ADWD

Unfortunately Daenerys is an idiot, and never questions whether House of Galare had anything to do with this.

Even a Lannister could connect these dots.

+.+.+

"This we have heard. And yet Your Radiance has found the courage to answer butchery with mercy. You have not harmed any of the noble children you hold as hostage."

"Not as yet, no." Dany had grown fond of her young charges. Some were shy and some were bold, some sweet and some sullen, but all were innocent. "If I kill my cupbearers, who will pour my wine and serve my supper?" she said, trying to make light of it.

The priestess did not smile. 

Wow, that was a terrible joke.

If Galazza Galare is the Harpy, Daenerys just told her the children won't be harmed.

For the record, I will not be applauding Daenerys for sparing her child hostages. Talk about a low bar.

+.+.+

"The Shavepate would feed them to your dragons, it is said. A life for a life. For every Brazen Beast cut down, he would have a child die."

Dany pushed her food about her plate. She dare not glance over to where Grazhar and Qezza stood, for fear that she might cry. The Shavepate has a harder heart than mine. They had fought about the hostages half a dozen times. "The Sons of the Harpy are laughing in their pyramids," Skahaz said, just this morning. "What good are hostages if you will not take their heads?" In his eyes, she was only a weak woman. Hazzea was enough. What good is peace if it must be purchased with the blood of little children? "These murders are not their doing," Dany told the Green Grace, feebly. "I am no butcher queen."

Say her name.

The Shavepate is not making any friends in Meereen.

+.+.+

"These are grievous times. Your Radiance, might I presume to offer you my counsel?"

"You know how much I value your wisdom."

"Then heed me now and marry."

It's the Green Grace's idea that she marry. That's probably important.

+.+.+

Dany speared a chunk of lamb, took a bite from it, chewed slowly. "Tell me, can this king puff his cheeks up and blow Xaro's galleys back to Qarth? Can he clap his hands and break the siege of Astapor? Can he put food in the bellies of my children and bring peace back to my streets?"

"Can you?" the Green Grace asked. "A king is not a god, but there is still much that a strong man might do. When my people look at you, they see a conqueror from across the seas, come to murder us and make slaves of our children. A king could change that. A highborn king of pure Ghiscari blood could reconcile the city to your rule. Elsewise, I fear, your reign must end as it began, in blood and fire."

I think this is sensible advice.

If she is the Harpy, she appears to be open to negotiation.

+.+.+

"Hizdahr zo Loraq," Galazza Galare said firmly.

Dany did not trouble to feign surprise. "Why Hizdahr? Skahaz is noble born as well."

"Skahaz is Kandaq, Hizdahr Loraq. Your Radiance will forgive me, but only one who is not herself Ghiscari would not understand the difference. Oft have I heard that yours is the blood of Aegon the Conqueror, Jaehaerys the Wise, and Daeron the Dragon. The noble Hizdahr is of the blood of Mazdhan the Magnificent, Hazrak the Handsome, and Zharaq the Liberator."

Laying the foundation for a Kandaq vs. Loraq feud.

If you're unfamiliar with the Meereenese Knot essays, it's been theorized that the Shavepate attempted to poison Daenerys and frame Hizdahr to destroy the peace.

+.+.+

"His forebears are as dead as mine. Will Hizdahr raise their shades to defend Meereen against its enemies? I need a man with ships and swords. You offer me ancestors."

YOU WANT A HUSBAND WITH SHIPS?

+.+.+

"We are an old people. Ancestors are important to us. Wed Hizdahr zo Loraq and make a son with him, a son whose father is the harpy, whose mother is the dragon. In him the prophecies shall be fulfilled, and your enemies will melt away like snow."

And your enemies will melt away, like Snow.

+.+.+

He shall be the stallion that mounts the world. Dany knew how it went with prophecies. They were made of words, and words were wind. There would be no son for Loraq, no heir to unite dragon and harpy. When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, when the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. Only then would her womb quicken once again …

That stallion already rides amongst us.

Anyway, unreliable narrator Daenerys Targaryen. That's not what she said.

"When will he be as he was?" Dany demanded.

"When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east," said Mirri Maz Duur. "When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When your womb quickens again, and you bear a living child. Then he will return, and not before." - Daenerys IX, AGOT

Not sure what to make of that screw up, but I'm confident Daenerys won't be having any more children. Three is enough.

+.+.+

If I wed Hizdahr, will that turn Skahaz against me? She trusted Skahaz more than she trusted Hizdahr, but the Shavepate would be a disaster as a king. He was too quick to anger, too slow to forgive. She saw no gain in wedding a man as hated as herself. Hizdahr was well respected, so far as she could see.

If she trusts Skahaz more than she trusts Hizdahr, that should tell you everything you need to know.

One by one, Hizdahr removes us all. Strong Belwas lingered at the door of death in the temple, under the care of the Blue Graces … though Selmy half suspected they were finishing the job those honeyed locusts had begun. Skahaz Shavepate had been stripped of his command. - The Queensguard, ADWD

Quick to anger, too slow to forgive.

+.+.+

Hizdahr wore a plain green robe beneath a quilted vest. He bowed low when he entered, his face solemn. "Have you no smile for me?" Dany asked him. "Am I as fearful as all that?"

"I always grow solemn in the presence of such beauty."

It was a good start. 

+.+.+

I can reconcile the city to your rule and put an end to this nightly slaughter in the streets.

"Can you?" Dany studied his eyes. "Why should the Sons of the Harpy lay down their knives for you? Are you one of them?"

"No."

"Would you tell me if you were?"

He laughed. "No."

Wait, let me think about this.

Galazza Galare, the Green Grace, advises Daenerys to marry Hizdahr zo Loraq.

↓

Hizdahr zo Loraq tells Daenerys if they marry he can end the bloodshed.

↓

They marry, the bloodshed stops.

+.+.+

"The Shavepate has ways of finding the truth."

"I do not doubt that Skahaz would soon have me confessing. A day with him, and I will be one of the Harpy's Sons. Two days, and I will be the Harpy. Three, and it will turn out I slew your father too, back in the Sunset Kingdoms when I was yet a boy. 

The Shavepate has a talent for obtaining false confessions. Got it!

The Shavepate's voice was muffled by his mask, but Selmy could hear the anger in it. "I have the poisoner."

"Who?"

"Hizdahr's confectioner. His name would mean nothing to you. The man was just a catspaw. The Sons of the Harpy took his daughter and swore she would be returned unharmed once the queen was dead. Belwas and the dragon saved Daenerys. No one saved the girl. She was returned to her father in the black of night, in nine pieces. One for every year she lived."

[...]

"This … this confectioner, I want to question him myself. Alone."

"Is it that way?" The Shavepate crossed his arms against his chest. "Done, then. Question him as you like." - The Queensguard, ADWD

+.+.+

"Why would you want to help me? For the crown?"

"A crown would suit me well, I will not deny that. It is more than that, however. Is it so strange that I would want to protect my own people, as you protect your freedmen? Meereen cannot endure another war, Your Radiance."

That was a good answer, and an honest one. 

What if - hear me out - he's being sincere? What if Galazza (Harpy?) and Hizdahr genuinely want to negotiate and make this work?

What if the peace is real?

Edit: This is not a defense of the Sons of the Harpy.

+.+.+

"You have not said you love me."

"I will, if it would please Your Radiance."

"That is not the answer of a man in love."

Jesus christ, get a dog.

+.+.+

"What is love? Desire? No man with all his parts could ever look on you and not desire you, Daenerys. That is not why I would marry you, however. Before you came Meereen was dying. Our rulers were old men with withered cocks and crones whose puckered cunts were dry as dust. They sat atop their pyramids sipping apricot wine and talking of the glories of the Old Empire whilst the centuries slipped by and the very bricks of the city crumbled all around them. Custom and caution had an iron grip upon us till you awakened us with fire and blood. A new time has come, and new things are possible. Marry me."

What if - hear me out - he's being sincere? What if Galazza (Harpy?) and Hizdahr genuinely want to negotiate and make this work?

What if the peace is real?

Edit: This is not a defense of the Sons of the Harpy.

+.+.+

"Not that way. Kiss me as if I were your wife."

Hizdahr took her by the shoulders as tenderly as if she were a baby bird. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to hers. His kiss was light and dry and quick. Dany felt no stirrings.

I lied. He's not being sincere when he pretends she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

+.+.+

On her terrace, in her bathing pool, the little fish would nibble at her legs as she soaked. Even they kissed with more fervor than Hizdahr zo Loraq. "I do not love you."

Hizdahr shrugged. "That may come, in time. It has been known to happen that way."

Not with us, she thought. Not whilst Daario is so close. It's him I want, not you. 

Doomed to fail before they even get started.

I'm going to make a prediction! When this all goes to hell, it won't be Hizdahr's fault.

+.+.+

"One day I will want to return to Westeros, to claim the Seven Kingdoms that were my father's."

"One day all men must die, but it serves no good to dwell on death. I prefer to take each day as it comes."

Lol. Okay.

+.+.+

Dany folded her hands together. "Words are wind, even words like love and peace. I put more trust in deeds. In my Seven Kingdoms, knights go on quests to prove themselves worthy of the maiden that they love. They seek for magic swords, for chests of gold, for crowns stolen from a dragon's hoard."

Trying to prove himself worthy of the fair maiden, a knight steals a crown from a dragon.

I'd love to read that story.

+.+.+

Hizdahr arched an eyebrow. "The only dragons that I know are yours, and magic swords are even scarcer. I will gladly bring you rings and crowns and chests of gold if that is your desire."

Well.

+.+.+

"Peace is my desire. You say that you can help me end the nightly slaughter in my streets. I say do it. Put an end to this shadow war, my lord. That is your quest. Give me ninety days and ninety nights without a murder, and I will know that you are worthy of a throne. Can you do that?"

He can!

What's the takeaway here? Do we know who the Harpy is? I have a guess.

+.+.+

Hizdahr looked thoughtful. "Ninety days and ninety nights without a corpse, and on the ninety-first we wed?"

"Perhaps," said Dany, with a coy look. "Though young girls have been known to be fickle. I may still want a magic sword."

Funny author.

When your dragons were small they were a wonder. Grown, they are death and devastation, a flaming sword above the world. - Daenerys III, ADWD

+.+.+

If Meereen knew that a wedding was in the offing, that alone might buy her a few nights' respite, even if Hizdahr's efforts came to naught. The Shavepate will not be happy with me, but Reznak mo Reznak will dance for joy. Dany did not know which of those concerned her more. She needed Skahaz and the Brazen Beasts, and she had come to mistrust all of Reznak's counsel. Beware the perfumed seneschal. Has Reznak made common cause with Hizdahr and the Green Grace and set some trap to snare me?

More Shavepate. Shavepate all over this chapter.

Reznak would be happy Meereen is healing, while the Shavepate would be pissed. And it's Reznak she mistrusts.

+.+.+

"It is not my place to choose your husband."

"It is not," she agreed, "but it is important to me that you should understand. My people are bleeding. Dying. A queen belongs not to herself, but to the realm. Marriage or carnage, those are my choices. A wedding or a war."

"Your Grace, may I speak frankly?"

"Always."

"There is a third choice."

"Westeros?"

He nodded. "I am sworn to serve Your Grace, and to keep you safe from harm wherever you may go. My place is by your side, whether here or in King's Landing … but your place is back in Westeros, upon the Iron Throne that was your father's. The Seven Kingdoms will never accept Hizdahr zo Loraq as king."

"No more than Meereen will accept Daenerys Targaryen as queen. The Green Grace has the right of that. I need a king beside me, a king of old Ghiscari blood. Elsewise they will always see me as the uncouth barbarian who smashed through their gates, impaled their kin on spikes, and stole their wealth."

"In Westeros you will be the lost child who returns to gladden her father's heart. Your people will cheer when you ride by, and all good men will love you."

Oh, well, if Barristan is saying it.

Her place is not in Westeros. It's here, cleaning up this mess.

I've gone from thinking Barristan Selmy is a bootlicking loser to thinking he's a massive liability that will cost her dearly.

+.+.+

"And if he does not fail? What will Your Grace do then?"

"Her duty." The word felt cold upon her tongue. "You saw my brother Rhaegar wed. Tell me, did he wed for love or duty?"

The old knight hesitated. "Princess Elia was a good woman, Your Grace. She was kind and clever, with a gentle heart and a sweet wit. I know the prince was very fond of her."

Fond, thought Dany. The word spoke volumes. I could become fond of Hizdahr zo Loraq, in time. Perhaps.

Targaryens doing their duty? Don't hold your breath.

+.+.+

Ser Barristan went on. "I saw your father and your mother wed as well. Forgive me, but there was no fondness there, and the realm paid dearly for that, my queen."

What the hell is he talking about? Since when did the realm pay dearly because Aerys married Rhaella? As if she made him go batshit crazy.

+.+.+

"Why did they wed if they did not love each other?"

"Your grandsire commanded it. A woods witch had told him that the prince was promised would be born of their line."

"A woods witch?" Dany was astonished.

"She came to court with Jenny of Oldstones. A stunted thing, grotesque to look upon. A dwarf, most people said, though dear to Lady Jenny, who always claimed that she was one of the children of the forest."

"What became of her?"

"Summerhall." The word was fraught with doom.

+.+.+

Daario. Her heart gave a flutter in her chest. "How long has … when did he …?" She could not seem to get the words out.

[...]

How could I ever hope to sleep, knowing that my captain so close? "Send him up at once. And … I will have no more need of you this evening. I shall be safe with Daario. Oh, and send Irri and Jhiqui, if you would be so good. And Missandei." I need to change, to make myself beautiful.

She said as much to her handmaids when they came. "What does Your Grace wish to wear?" asked Missandei.

Starlight and seafoam, Dany thought, a wisp of silk that leaves my left breast bare for Daario's delight. Oh, and flowers for my hair. When first they met, the captain brought her flowers every day, all the way from Yunkai to Meereen. "Bring the grey linen gown with the pearls on the bodice. Oh, and my white lion's pelt." She always felt safer wrapped in Drogo's lionskin.

It's giving 11-year-old Sansa.

+.+.+

"How many men did you lose in the fighting?"

"Nine," said Daario, "but a dozen of the Long Lances decided they would sooner be Stormcrows than corpses, so we came out three ahead. I told them they would live longer fighting with your dragons than against them, and they saw the wisdom in my words."

The more turncoats the better!

+.+.+

That made her wary. "They might be spying for Yunkai."

"They are too stupid to be spies. You do not know them."

"Neither do you. Do you trust them?"

"I trust all my men. Just as far as I can spit." He spat out a seed and smiled at her suspicions. "Shall I bring their heads to you? I will, if you command it. One is bald and two have braids and one dyes his beard four different colors. What spy would wear such a beard, I ask you? The slinger can put a stone through a gnat's eye at forty paces, and the ugly one has a way with horses, but if my queen says that they must die …"

I don't know Daario, what type of spy would dye his beard?

+.+.+

Daario tossed away the pear stem. "Qartheen have milk in their veins. Let them see your dragons, and they'll run."

Dany did not want to talk about the dragons. Farmers still came to her court with burned bones, complaining of missing sheep, though Drogon had not returned to the city. Some reported seeing him north of the river, above the grass of the Dothraki sea. Down in the pit, Viserion had snapped one of his chains; he and Rhaegal grew more savage every day. 

Viserion, Breaker of Chains.

The dragons are growing more savage by the day! They're wild, they're untamed! She can't be controlled!

+.+.+

"This I knew. One of the Long Lances lived long enough to tell us that men were eating one another in the Red City. He said Meereen's turn would come soon, so I cut his tongue out and fed it to a yellow dog. No dog will eat a liar's tongue. When the yellow dog ate his, I knew he spoke the truth."

I've never been more aroused by a man.

You know who else cuts out tongues? Happy to see she wasn't instantly turned off.

+.+.+

"You are fighting shadows when you should be fighting the men who cast them," Daario went on. "Kill them all and take their treasures, I say. Whisper the command, and your Daario will make you a pile of their heads taller than this pyramid."

The next Jon chapter,

"Every man who walks the earth casts a shadow on the world. Some are thin and weak, others long and dark. You should look behind you, Lord Snow. The moon has kissed you and etched your shadow upon the ice twenty feet tall." - Jon VI, ADWD

And not long after that,

No doubt that was one reason the high priest Benerro had chosen him to bring the faith of R'hllor to Daenerys Targaryen. "Dragons old and young, true and false, bright and dark. And you. A small man with a big shadow, snarling in the midst of all." - Tyrion VIII, ADWD

+.+.+

He had been so long away, Dany had almost forgotten what he was. Sellswords were treacherous by nature, she reminded herself. Fickle, faithless, brutal. He will never be more than he is. He will never be the stuff of kings. 

How astute.

I'm excited to see more personal development in her chapters to come.

+.+.+

"Then winkle them out of their pyramids on some pretext. A wedding might serve. Why not? Promise your hand to Hizdahr and all the Great Masters will come to see you married. When they gather in the Temple of the Graces, turn us loose upon them."

Dany was appalled. He is a monster. A gallant monster, but a monster still.

Alright, Tywin.

A million voices in her ear, and all the wrong ones get amplified.

+.+.+

Daario shrugged. "Most queens have no purpose but to warm some king's bed and pop out sons for him. If that's the sort of queen you mean to be, best marry Hizdahr."

Her anger flashed. "Have you forgotten who I am?"

"No. Have you?"

Viserys would have his head off for that insolence. "I am the blood of the dragon. Do not presume to teach me lessons." When Dany stood, the lion pelt slipped from her shoulders and tumbled to the ground. "Leave me."

No, she hasn't.

You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.

"Fire and Blood," Daenerys told the swaying grass. - Daenerys X, ADWD

+.+.+

"I want them gone. Let them scout the Yunkish hinterlands and give protection to any caravans coming over the Khyzai Pass. Henceforth Daario shall make his reports to you. Give him every honor that is due him and see that his men are well paid, but on no account admit him to my presence."

Super impressed with her maturity here.

I can't wait to read her next few chapters and witness more growth.

+.+.+

That night she could not sleep but turned and twisted restlessly in her bed. She even went so far as to summon Irri, hoping her caresses might help ease her way to rest, but after a short while she pushed the Dothraki girl away. Irri was sweet and soft and willing, but she was not Daario.

When Tyrion and Daenerys meet and it gets awkward, maybe they can discuss their shared interest in bed slaves.

+.+.+

What have I done? she thought, huddled in her empty bed. I have waited so long for him to come back, and I send him away. "He would make a monster of me," she whispered, "a butcher queen." But then she thought of Drogon far away, and the dragons in the pit. There is blood on my hands too, and on my heart. We are not so different, Daario and I. We are both monsters.

All the memes!

Final thoughts:

Not all girls know what it means to be bound by duty. Not all girls are meant to be queens.

-> return to menu <-

[honestlydarkprincess]

P: Eddie and Buck both venting to the same person at a scene like that negotiator and they're like oh because these idiots think the other isn't also into them huh ?

I don't know how well I did with following your prompt but I hope you still like it! Enjoy some exasperated Bobby dealing with his pining son and son-in-law 💖

Finally (Buck x Eddie)

Bobby was just trying to get lunch ready. Buck was next to him and he was supposed to be helping him chop vegetables, but really he was just standing there, staring at Eddie as the older man sat at the table, laughing with Chimney. Hen was sitting on the couch furthest from them, trying to concentrate on her medical books, although she’d glance up fondly when one of them laughed a little too loud.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” Bobby asked, slightly exasperated. Buck wasn’t even trying to be subtle anymore, these days he just openly stared at Eddie. Bobby suspected that if it were possible the younger man would have cartoon hearts in his eyes.

Buck choked, tearing his eyes off of Eddie to look at Bobby with surprise and no small amount of panic. “W-what are you talking about?”

Bobby rolled his eyes. “I’m talking about the fact that you are obviously, blatantly, in love with Eddie, Buck.”

Immediately Buck flushed, his embarrassment making his cheeks pink. “It’s not that obvious,” He grumbled, pouting down at the veggies he starts aggressively chopping.

“Hey, hey, it’s not the veggie’s fault, stop before you ruin them,” Bobby reprimands, ignoring Buck as he continues to pout.

It’s quiet for a few minutes before Buck hesitantly speaks up. “I just, I like him a lot, Cap. Him and Christopher, they mean the world to me.”

“So tell him, Buck,” Bobby says, putting down the knife to give Buck his full attention. “You and I both know that tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Do you really want to keep going out on calls, risking your life, without letting him know how you feel? You don’t want to miss your chance.”

“I can’t, Bobby,” Buck shook his head. “He doesn’t feel the same way, I know it. I’m not going to risk what I do have by asking for more. I love what I have and I don’t want to lose it.”

“But—“ Bobby is prevented from saying anything further by the alarm going off and Buck springs into action, leaving Bobby behind to sigh, annoyed at both the direction of the conversation and their ruined lunch.

By the time they get back from that call and the two others they had gotten while out of the station it’s time for Bobby to start dinner. This time he waves Buck off when he offered to help, instead he asked Eddie for a hand. Eddie had looked at him, surprised, because no one ever asked Eddie to help them in the kitchen. It was pretty well known that he was strictly to stay on clean up duty after that one time that the 118 had collectively agreed to never speak of again— Eddie still insists there is no way to prove that it was him that caused everyone to get sick.

“Everything okay, Cap?” Eddie asked hesitantly, wondering if he was about to be scolded.

“I just wanted to ask you something,” Bobby says, nonchalant. Like he doesn’t know he’s already made Eddie very nervous. Before he can continue they’re interrupted by Buck laughing, clutching at his chest as he struggles to breathe, Chimney looking proud next to him. Hen is rolling her eyes but it’s all fond, she loves these boys.

Bobby takes in the look on Eddie’s face, the soft smile on his lips and how his eyes are almost glowing. “Nevermind, I just got my answer.”

“Huh?” Eddie says absently, completely distracted by Buck who is now animatedly telling a story. He almost hits Chimney in the face because he’s waving his hands around so much and Eddie just loves him.

“You should tell him how you feel.”

Bobby is deeply and painfully amused at the fact that Eddie has the exact same reaction as Buck— has the same look of surprise and panic, his cheeks flushing pink.

Bobby just lifts his brow at Eddie, who sighs. “Am I that obvious?”

“Anyone who looks at you two can see that you’re in love,” Bobby says, having had enough of the pining. Maybe this was the first time actually talking to Eddie about it but Bobby had been watching these two pine for each other since the day they extracted a grenade from a man’s leg.

“He doesn’t love me back,” Eddie replies automatically, letting his eyes wander back to Buck with poorly concealed longing. “I wish he did, but he doesn’t.”

Bobby sighed heavily. “You know what, he said the exact same thing about you.” Bobby’s had enough. Subtlety isn’t working, saying it isn’t working, it’s looking like he’s going to have to spell it out for him. “He said that he would rather keep what he has than risk losing you and Christopher. I think of Buck like a son and I know my son. He’s as in love with you as you are with him. Go for it, Eddie,” Bobby encourages, giving Eddie a look that he hopes conveys just how serious he is. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told him, tomorrow isn’t promise to anyone. Don’t let yourself regret the things you didn’t say.”

Eddie bites his lip, looking nervous but Bobby can see that he’s actually contemplating his words. Bobby waits with bated breath, is this going to be it? Are they finally going to get their shit together? Or is Bobby in for listening to both of them pine, very loudly to him, for another couple of years?

Finally, Eddie’s moving. He doesn’t say anything to Bobby, just walks up to Buck and asks to speak with him privately. Buck shoots Bobby a panicked look, obviously thinking that he’s has said something to Eddie, so Bobby gives him an encouraging nod.

They walk off together towards the bunks for some privacy and Bobby pretends he doesn’t see Chim and Hen whispering, most likely placing a bet on what’s about to go down between Firefighters Buckley and Diaz.

Later, when Bobby’s pulling out their dinner from the oven, Eddie and Buck return with matching blushes, both grinning widely. Bobby pretends he doesn’t notice how swollen Buck’s lips are or how Eddie’s hair is a lot messier now than it was when they left. Finally.

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

Piandao for the ask game?

First impression

cool swordmaster who appreciates sokka <3

Impression now

old gay man who has a hard time letting people in because of his abandonment issues & years spent hiding his true (gay, anti-war) self, but who sees his struggles as a nonbender in sokka and decides to open up his heart and give him the support and love he wishes he'd received as a young man. a victim of his nation and a perpetrator of its atrocities, a good honest man and also a practiced liar blending in with the upper classes he was not born into. a minor character i am totally normal about <3

Favorite moment

"you messed things up in a very special way" is such a good description of sokka, because as much as i hate people painting him as an incompetant funny guy, part of his character is that he often throws himself at new things and fails hilariously. "why would you lick the wall of a cave?" "i have a scientific curiosity" curiosity and creativity are good things! messing up because you're doing something new and creative is something to be praised, a good quality. sokka throws shit at the wall to see if it sticks, and not all of it does, but if you keep throwing something will, and more and more over the course of the show sokka succeeds at what he tries. piandao is smart enough to see this and praise him for it.

i guess that moment's more about sokka. but all of piandao's great moments are. "you added a rainbow" "creativity, versatility, and intelligence", etc.

oh and there's this screenshot i found while looking for art references:

[screenshot of atla. piandao looks down at sokka with a warm smile]

look at him. look at how fond he is of his son. instant serotonin

Idea for a story

i've been working for a while on a story where sokka comes to train with piandao post-war. piandao keeps giving him artistic projects because he feels uncomfortable teaching swordplay in peacetime, but sokka was hoping for action as a distraction from his thoughts and is annoyed and confused that piandao's making him think and process his feelings. meanwhile, zuko keeps trying to get him to come to the palace as an advisor and sokka wants to help but doesn't know if he wants to stay in the fire nation long term. also jeong jeong is there.

Unpopular opinion

i never know how to answer this type of question for minor characters. there isn't enough discussion to create a majority opinion to disagree with. if i disagree with a minor character opinion, i'm probably just disagreeing with one person. every opinion is unpopular.

so i'll just take this space to once again lament the sad state of the sokka&piandao tag on ao3. my true unpopular opinion is that fandom should shut up about zuko and stop giving him sokka's father figures

Favorite relationship

in canon he only has one meaningful relationship, and that's with sokka (NOT zuko). and i love it, and have already elaborated on it.

noncanonically, jeong jeong. y'all know this. heartbreaking divorce despite never being married. the dynamic of nonbender who wanted to be a firebender and a firebender who hates his firebending. a bickering old married couple. implied/referenced homophobia ao3 tag. you know.

Favorite headcanon

idk if it's my fave exactly but just recently i was working on the ofmd au and i decided that the way i'm going to deal with him being more competant than stede is to make him bad at sailing. he's really skilled at other things but the only reason they haven't capsized is sokka and katara's water tribe know-how and he's also gotten seasick multiple times. meanwhile jeong jeong, ex-admiral of the fire nation navy, is an extremely skilled sailor and becoming a pirate when he left his nation actually made sense and piandao you're a fucking idiot. basically he thinks piandao is stede (clueless rich idiot) while ed thinks stede is piandao (elegant wealthy Artist). but of course piandao decided piracy was going to be his rebellion because he suspected that's what jeong jeong did so really coming on his ship and insisting on staying because "you'll get yourself killed" is actually playing right into piandao's hands. haha you WILL fall back in love with your ex

but even outside the au i DO think it's funny to imagine that piandao has something he's shitty at. he's the perfect skilled master in canon so if i'm going to develop him more i have to give him some flaws, right?

anyway sorry this took so long i am not normal about this man