#i am v engaged
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I grabbed a shirt at random and it happened to create a LOOK. So I brought visuals:
Bombshells Poison Ivy tee WITH the green and pink flower Jurassic Park sleep shorts.
Hell yes this represents me really well actually!? Like as a person I adore Batman, connect a lot with Harley Quinn(Amanda Palmer's iteration), so me repping her wife is great. I regularly tear up listen to the Jurassic Park soundtrack! Because that's a soundtrack i relisten too fairly often. And the movie I've watched the most in my life.
Wardrobe wise- Love me a good black tee with black skinnies and I am a floral print snob. I've had a favorite floral print pattern as my tumblr header bg, it's my phone bg, and it's my work Teams avi. I ran across this print in like 2012. It's on every phone I've had since and in every screen bg rotation! I turn up for a GOOD floral print.
My style oscillates from goth (chill tee shirt all the way too giving Morticia Addams vibes) or I am color. I love a good color story. The pink and green in these shorts and that light neon Jurassic Park logo! Oh shit, I matched a neon pink Headband with a neon orange top at the gym today. This is ME.
Nerdy, (GAY), black tee shirt enthusiast, floral print adorer, with a small amount of neon thrown in.
And my legs are one of my fave physical features so the gams are out honey. Skies out thighs out.
what are you wearing rn and is it representative of your style
#i took a weed gummie to get to sleep and took this post real seriously#ive thought about my aesthetic often#ive curated a wardrobe and care for my clothing so i have many pieces from High School and college (2007-2015)#i care for my clothes#laundry is me reading labels and turning things inside out#i just keep talking#great post#i am v engaged#Wish i could see my stats#Jurassic Park New Nightmare Scream Halloween (original 70s one) Halloween H20 Jason X#i hope tags arent cutting off#let me speak timblr#its in the tags
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i have always felt that theorizing on dragon age lore is less about memorizing codex's and more about feeling the vibes like it's the force and you are yoda living on a mossy rock
#and sometimes a luke comes along and reminds you of this one prodigal lore kid#who ended up turning to the dark side#im v proud of some of you i hope our theories are right#i am simply too old. too tired#to engage much anymore 🥲#once this game releases imma fade away like that space frog#i been here since 2009 collecting lore in a yellow folder#i need.....closure
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my stupidest tma take is that the lonelyeyes age gap genuinely is the thing that makes me not engage with the ship, despite the fact that that is, like, the least toxic part of their relationship
#lmaster37 posts#to be clear that is NOT bc they would be handling the age gap in a healthy way#but bc they are impressively toxic in every other way <3#like don't get me wrong i love rival dynamics that are v light-hearted/respectful of each other#however#there is something to be said for rivals who genuinely want to see each other dead#and simply enjoy playing with their food too much to do the deed themselves#i'm not gonna say that MAG 158 The Panopticon is The funniest episode but. it's up there#tma#the magnus archives#tma spoilers#the magnus archives spoilers#lonelyeyes#i am a basic bitch and therefore generally only engage with archives gang ships (+ gerry who is honourary archives gang. to me)#but GOD tma has some of the funniest toxic gay ships i can think of
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me posting new chap of me paulfeyd fic, and despite hits coming in, no comments: should i........delete it....... is it.....bad?????
#ppl really don't know how much comments mean to authors huh#me: esp saying how much comments/engagement means in the end notes. people reading it: hm no#i am a clown#feydpaul#paulfeyd#feyd x paul#paul x feyd#feyd rautha#paul atreides#dune fic#personal#200 notes late: not one comment. okay! gonna go kms!#v speaks
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I long for the days where the main villain in my video games could be a sentient tree inside of a suit of armor who's also a wizard and breaks into a secret magic talking turtle's cave by turning himself into a splinter and sticking himself onto one of the main characters to beat up the turtle just to reveal his master plan to use an open interdimensional rift to gain the power to destroy the world. 😔
#this is an actual thing that happened in final fantasy v#the main villain of the game my guy exdeath is literally a tree wizard#god I love that game#all of this is to say I got the pixel remasters off ff's 4 5 and 6 for myself for christmas and as soon as I bread fire emblem engage#I am diving straight into 5 I miss it so much it's my favorite 2D ff and it's ridiculous as hell ✋😭#final fantasy#final fantasy v#abby's just rambling don't mind her#abby after dark
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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pondering up some jerseys for @baronetcoins's baseball au
#em draws stuff#h5#henry v 1989#history freespace#le roy d'armes des françois (dit montjoye)#this took me MONTHS but I'm very pleased with the end results#luckily the Baseball Aesthetic is by nature Sillygoofy which gave me some leeway when it came to merging medieval and baseball looks here#a bit of the Vibes for england and france respectively are sourced from the giants and the yankees because they are the Coolest Looking#(and to clarify my own opinions on baseball the giants are the only one of those two who are Actually Cool In Other Ways)#real baseball outfits are not parti-coloured like the french jersey here but it's Medieval Jokery which I am engaging in#and both of the road greys do not look that exciting here because road greys are boring in real life as well#HOWEVER the city connect here is based directly on the giants creamsicle city connect jerseys because they are Simply So Silly#more baseball to come perhaps because I'd like to squish this in before the postseason's over
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#not snz#more musings 📝 / mini vent:#not sure why my social battery is so limited 😭 and also so inconsistent#i feel like i can't sustain the amount of... like continued/consistent enthusiasm i see others giving esp in group settings#i just don't know how to engage in that way without burning out#over the past few weeks i've been stuck in like#a strange state where i can't muster the energy to properly respond to even the people i'm most excited to reply to#which is strange??#(and if that is you i am sorry 😭 i love you and i will get back to you)#i think i can't even like manage to get myself into the mindset of enjoying something for myself (eg. a conversation with a friend)#i think a part of it is the stress from work leeching into my personal life#i feel like i've been working so hard and for such long hours but its the kind of work where the progress i've made is very hard to track??#:( i just want to be off of ******* work so i can work on ******* work again#i also want to get ahead enough on everything in my life so that i write y+v D:#i feel like i haven't had a properly restful day in weeks... even over the weekend i was busy attending to others' needs#i just want a break from it all... but i dont have enough time to take off... but i dont know how much more of this i can take#i remember also feeling during uni like i was drowning#like there were simply not enough hours in a day to deliver everything i promised. it's such an awful feeling#i just feel defeated. like i've felt exhausted for weeks and weeks on end and like i spend every waking hour working on something or other#but ofc there is nothing to do but to keep at it 😭 other people can handle all of this and more#there are so many people i refuse to let down
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i should stop being scared to voice my own opinion on my own blog so much. bc i actually have a lot of them and in general i engage in strong critique of fandom, our pop culture, and society at large
maybe i will start using my more personal blog @candlein-themirror again.....but also. part of me is like no. i will not hide there....JFKLSFKL
#part of me is like ppl didn't come here for my hot takes#the other part of me is like.......sometimes ppl need to see some hot takes#fandom cannot always be comfort......#sometimes we must engage in a critical look at our spaces even if they were built for comfort#bc unfortunately.....we are in fact influenced by systems of power at large.....and those systems will find their way into our spaces still#i have by and large tried to remain v silly and fun on here but like irl i am actually quite critical and intense#and i am a little tired of not being on here#cielo rambles!
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thinking very hard now of just how much austronesian influences are present in the cultural makeup of the fire nation
LET'S GET INTO IT
#fr share more. if you would like!#most of what I'm aware of comes from atlaculture and a few other bloggers#how the cultural influences of atla fit together can be so interesting. although. within that#there's many instances of atla appropriating cutural symbols‚ making racist caricatures. & horrifically using historical events#& places in their little cartoon show w/o regard the ongoing violence against impacted people#what i like about transformative fan spaces is identifying & engaging w/ those issues in a . well. transformative way#tho that doesn't always happen..#back to the point. i can't recall specific austronesian influences (am not knowledgeable) but am v interested :)#10000dandelions#asks
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literally copy/pasting this from one of my other blogs where i made this post YEARS ago, but it still applies, so i want to communicate it again (ꈍ ‸ ꈍ✿)
i’m not asking anyone to do anything or requesting this be done for me specifically, but i do want to just sort of encourage this among folks in the rpc willing to engage:
please just… when someone writes you a starter, replies to an ask you sent, replies even just to a thread you have going on, let them know you like it and appreciate it.
now, tumblr makes that easy for us. we can literally just “like” the post and let the person know we’ve a) seen it and b) approve in some way/shape/form. but for anyone who doesn’t get anxious doing so, actually approaching the person or leaving a lil comment on it really is such a sweet thing to do, imo.
in my experience, i’m always more engaged and eager to write with someone who shows they appreciate my writing and characterization. and you really don’t have to jump through hoops to show it. you don’t have to be someone’s best friend or therapist or any of that; even just being in a strictly “writing partners” relationship leaves room to tell your partner:
hey, that starter you wrote for me was perfect and i love it; tysm for writing it. i can’t believe your character just said that!! i’m screaming omg can’t wait to reply. your ask response killed me; i adore the way you write your character. and so on.
the point i’m trying to make is that i think everyone here deserves to be told they’re doing a great job. everyone here deserves to feel accomplished and wonderful for the time and effort they put into their muse. but i also think 99% of the people here don’t actually get to hear that as often as they should.
so if you have it in you, let your rp partners know you appreciate them, their character, their writing, their headcanons, any of it. because you do. otherwise you wouldn’t be writing with them—just go that one extra step of point-blank expressing it. <3
#˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ 《 ooc 》#this is entirely random and absolutely not a callout or a vague post!!#it's just an aspect about the rpc that remains true in my personal experience in YEARS of being here#and i am guilty of not being as engaged as i should be sometimes so i'm not saying i'm doing this as much as i should#but i DO try to let my writing partners know i appreciate them whenever i can <3 bc you all dESERVE that acknowledgment#and i know plenty of us do struggle with negative feelings and thoughts of inadequacy#sometimes all it takes to brighten our day is just someone simply reaching out#and saying something like “i LOVE YOUR REPLY OMG”#it's simple but it means something yknow?#it can be SO EASY for rp to start feeling like a transaction instead of an actual fun hobby#and i think the fun side of it IS engaging with your rp partners and being EXCITED together#SO LET'S BE EXCITED !!!#you all are incredible and deserve to feel appreciated -- let your mutuals know you appreciate them too ;v;/ <3#ok sammy out -- random word vomit concluded
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if you can, i highly encourage you to interact with fan artists of all formats, including fic authors, because even apart from that being really really nice for the artists, it's also good for you on a personal/selfish level !! it's a win-win situation !!
because let me tell you, there's a rush like no other when you finally get your shit together and comment on a fic that you've been rereading for years and the author responds (!) and tells you "That is an incredibly high compliment" (!!) and gives you a bit of insight into how they conceptualise the character (!!!) . like. oh my god i'm doing it i'm getting a good grade in Fandom
(engaging with fan art of all formats will also greatly increase fan artists' energy + desire to continue doing fan art, which, again, win-win situation !!)
#you can tell that i am still new to actually ENGAGING with fandom lmao#lmaster37 posts#fandom general#the author in question is inkpot_demigod (ao3) btw and you should check them out if u're even vaguely into pathologic#actually scratch that you should check them out regardless#hoo boy their kinktobers have got me considering kinks i would never have given a second glance before#personal recs of their fics atm:#daniil in wonderland (horny alice in wonderland fusion; delightful if you enjoy a fair dose of strange in your smut)#tastes as sweet (daniil and lara confess their feelings to artemy on the same day; the three of them figure it out; v cute v domestic)#janus by blood (ough such a good vampire fic ahh. honestly don't remember whether this even had smut?#mostly there's a lot of dealing with such a complete violation of bodily autonomy while fighting the plague. ie not having a lot of time)#tongues of the gorkhon (mermaid AU but. like. the kind with lots and lots of teeth)#it hurts to become (FANTASTIC inquisitor!daniil AU. what if i was completely alone in my role where there were supposed to be three.#what if you were part of The Powers That Be against whom you've struggled so much.#god i am so so weak for the way they write daniil and this is a particularly fun thought to play around with)#however what you should ABSOLUTELY read even if u don't know patho is Trading Life and Death (<- fic that inspired the above exchange)#it's vampire!daniil x werewolf!artemy (always an inspired dynamic) and it's so so good#and also by god is it hot#uhh check warnings/tags for every fic obv#this is patho so. horror/issues of every kind galore#sorry i am just so so stoked about this#praying that they don't see this tho bc i would die on the spot afksadkad#they're genuinely one of my top 3 fic authors
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Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease i'm so tired of this experience happening to me
#jay talkin#GRAAAAAAAGH MENS CLOTHES SO ANNOYING WHY DONT YOU FIT RIGHT#anyway got mad that my leather gloves i've owned for ages dont fit cuz i have v small hands and mens sizes dont fit me#very annoying source of dysphoria is trying to fit my body into mens clothes that just do not come on sizes#that will fit on me. ITS DEEPLY ANNOYING its also hard 2 find mens rings in my size which is annoying me too#i'm gay and engaged let me have my big masculine ring PLEASE#anyway yeah need 2 MAKE my body fit sometime soon. pump t into my viens till i become a man who DOES fit#or at the least alleviate the dysphoria thats making me insecure about my smallness lol#i really wish there were more very masculine options for people who are slight built#i am tired of buying womens or kids options i wanna fit in mens clothes better PLEASE
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What do you think of Antonio? I know he's a Hunter, but he's also kinda puppet-like himself...
"... Admittedly I've heard about him from others - quite social, that one. It feels impossible to escape the varying degrees of kind or worried words others have to say about him.
"I don't know him. I don't know his story. I probably never will.
"... But he seems different from other Hunters, takže, he seems to understand when people don't want to be bothered. Even if the GraveKeeper looks exhausted by him sometimes, they seem happy together...
"A rare thing to see in a place such as this Manor."
( Though he doesn't say so, he's almost jealous... )
"As for him being puppet-like, I believe you mean his behaviour during matches? I have no idea what to think of it."
#idv puppeteer#identity v#my art#idv#matthias czernin#ask matthias#oh no u asked about my other favourite blorbo#mun loves tonyo so fucking much#FERAL MOTH NOISES IN BG#YES! YES I *AM* INSERTING THINGS ABT MY OWN TONYO#the server i mainly rp in - he's engaged to amdew <3#i lov them sm
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also I’m almost there. Almost There
#doing trusts while brain off listening to sims videos is v nice#i am still v engaged w the gameplay bc melee dps#but the dungeon music isn’t engaging enough#plus I don’t wanna get tired of listening to it#the downside is that I miss audio cues for ability prices#*procs#so I have like. so much viper gauge by the time I look at it#owen talks
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I'm so excited to see what Ncuti Gatwa I can do as the Doctor! So far everything he's been in for trailers and stuff has shown him as being pretty charismatic, which is nice of course, but I'm also really hoping that he can pull off the weird awkward dorkiness that is also critical to the Doctor's personality.
Like, Ncuti Gatwa as a person seems very cool, but I'm hoping he can be a little uncool too as the Doctor. It's important to me
#Doctor Who#Fifteenth Doctor#I am talking#I am just some guy (gender neutral)#this is so strange because we've had so much longer than normal to think about him in the role#also I saw someone say (maybe jokingly I guess? but I'm autistic so it's sticking with me anyway)#that because of how revealing his outfit is and the line with David Tennant and Isaac Newton that they're going to have like.#gay sex scenes in his season? and I cannot stress this enough how much I do not want there to be any sex scenes in doctor who#and I cannot possibly stress how much I do not want there to be any sex scenes in Doctor Who. regardless of the genders involved#my logical brain knows that is incredibly unlikely because Doctor Who is so established as a family show#but like. please do not force my sex-repulsed self to watch sex scenes in order to engage with my special interest. please#anyway that's not strictly relevant to Ncuti himself#but people are speculating about him in kind of weird ways based on as far as I can tell nothing more than a v-neck shirt
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