#i am unfortunately unable to be normal about them

[mister-warmth]

Damn it >:(

[pa-pa-plasma]

kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment

[insidemyrottenbrain]

Henry gets jealous because you spend time with Richard

The risk of jealousy - TSH

Henry Marchbanks Winter x GN!Reader

Dearest anonymous, I hope you can forgive him and his denial of jealousy.

The sharp claw of jealousy finally scratches the untouchable Henry.

I’ve always been incredibly particular about whom I associate with. The people around me need to be worthy. Now, I am well aware that my choice of words may make me sound arrogant, so allow me to explain: I want them to have shared interests, to be able to hold late-night debates on esoteric topics, while giving me a sense of belonging and consequently not tiring me out socially. I do not ask for much, really. Alas, one cannot always get what one desires.

The little group of which I’m currently a part of is… pleasant. The twins regularly host dinners which are, of course, the birthplace of many fights and arguments regarding the most trivial subjects that usually end up with Henry winning. Francis unhesitatingly puts his aunt’s house at our disposal whenever desiderium naturae strikes us and amusingly complains about some disease or other the whole way there. I even consider some of Bunny’s jokes witty on the rare occasions when he stops being insufferable. Unfortunately, they all give me a shallow sense of belonging that only manages to make itself felt in transit moments. However, Henry is different. With him, I feel content reading in silence after a long day, waking up in the same bed, legs intertwined under the soft cotton sheets he insists on buying with Apolon tugging at our lazy eyelids or simply challenging one another’s knowledge on whatever topic interests us at a given moment. A continuous childlike rendez-vous.

I do not know why I have been so platonically attracted to Richard of late. When he first joined our Greek class, he did not strike me as someone who would manage to integrate his lowly self into our complexly layered group, or even more, someone who would enjoy my presence. He was and still is flawed and ordinary. However, this normality flowing through every habit, every movement, or expression is a strange refresh in an intangible web of meticulously tangled appearances and facades. Richard is not some ancient scholar buried in paradoxical ideals, Gods-praising rituals, and glorious beliefs, but a modern human. He is aware of the current world, unisolated, present, an active participant. Not only does he attend parties but he also drinks, kisses, and loves strangers. Though an exaggeration to the unknowing eye, he seems to me quite the Epicurean in a cult of Stoics (excluding Bunny).

Despite my writings above which one might foolishly mistake as praise on my part, I must now dive into Richard’s own tendency to fictitiousness. He throws, here and there, long, lavish fabrications (with the aid of which he becomes unconsciously arrogant) and slight inexactitudes he considers too small to pass unnoticed by the attentive ear. And according to my fate and against my trusted intuition, I found myself unable to stop listening whenever he started talking about his (fake) childhood in California filled with swimming pools and orange groves and dissolute, charming show-biz parents, teenage years with a new girlfriend every night, the newest dramas (if they truly do exist and are not yet other fictions) circling Hampden.

There is a quirk. I notice it now, when we’re all standing in the day room of Francis’, or rather his aunt’s, manor. Charles is playing the piano filling the room with gifts for ears, showing off as he always does, while Bunny comments on one rhythm or another, challenging him, fueling him further. Everything is normal, except for one detail that does not escape me. Henry grows more agitated with every single one of Richard’s grant histoires. Albeit, the so-called agitations are rather minuscule, but I pride myself in being able to distinguish them. A small frown, creasing his pale forehead just the right amount for it to disappear just as quickly and nonchalantly as it came, a constant rub of his hand against his limped leg, and a novel proneness to small physical gestures: touching knees, pressing shoulders, his hand on the small of my back or idly playing with my fingers. I settle on questioning him later since I know he will not show any truths of his mind in such large company. 

We share a room, since we stopped bothering to hide our relationship long ago from the others. Henry’s already in bed, his nose buried in a book, dressed in his pyjamas, his initials embroidered upon the left side of his chest; H.M.W. If I had been told years ago that I was to be sharing a bed or be in a relationship with the person I suffered the least, the one that I had to compete with in Julian’s classes, the one that knew how to push my buttons I would have died of agony. But now I’m content. I know of the infatuation rendering me blind. My life has become a continuous torture, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to live without him. Just like Zeus who vows to fulfil his promise with a single sacred nod of his head, so am I unable to change the basis of my passion. He is in all my plans. In all the joys the future holds. In the dead of night, in Julian’s lessons, in the summer by the lake, instead of my mind’s eye being fully focused on one specific task, it always switches without fail to him.

I lower myself onto the bed next to him. “You seemed troubled earlier, in the day room.” I ask casually an indirect question.

“You’ve been spending an awful time with Richard.” He responds swiftly, tonelessly, simply pointing out a fact. 

I consider my answer for a moment. “I suppose so.” I hum, just as my head hits the pillow. “Don’t you find him intriguing? He watches the news on television.”

“Intriguing?” He blurts out, closing his book and putting it on the bedside table. Clearly, I have his attention. He turns on his side to fully face me, his hair falling over his forehead and slightly over his glasses. “His intriguing part eludes me. You are wasting your time with him, listening to his rambles.” He says clearly irritated, not bothering to keep up his stoic facade. “I assure you, you would be much better spending your time wisely.”

I frown. This is unusual of him. “He is in our class, is he not? I cannot avoid him.”

“Of course not, that’s not what I am suggesting.” His eyebrows remain furrowed. “What I do mean is that he does not bring you any benefit.” He continues in a monotone. “Why must you listen to him with the same attention and interest as you listen to me?”

Ah, I see. Henry is jealous.

“Is this jealousy?” I ask attempting desperately to restrain the slight smile forming on my face. 

“You are mistaken.” He ‘corrects’ me sharply, raising his eyebrows.  “I am merely stating that I see no point in your interactions with Richard when you could gain much more from being in my presence.”

I raise a sceptical eyebrow. He acts as if I wouldn’t mourn his death in the same way Achilles mourned Patroclus’, with rage and violence.

Words are imperfect communication devices, so I pull him down by the back of his neck and press my lips against his in a pleasant normality. I feel him slightly relax against me, his hand resting on my neck.

“Henry,” I mumble as we part, forcefully stretching our souls apart. I remove his glasses and place them down next to us and his forehead naturally falls against mine “you know better than to have such doubts.”

“I do.” He mumbles back, not bothering to deny his feelings anymore. “However, it proves to be quite difficult to not have them when-” He stops considering his words. “When you plague me so. There is no day or night in which your existence takes mercy on me and does not destroy the little rationality I have left.” He lowers himself down on the bed next to me. “You inexplicably and absurdly manage to be and eradicate my sanity.” He sighs. “And it certainly does not help when you look at Richard with the same eyes you look at me.” Henry mutters.

My hand finds his and I chuckle. “I’d argue I look at him with entirely different eyes.” At my comment, Henry raises an amused eyebrow. “Perhaps you’ll stop seeing shadows where there are none.”

That is all he needs to defeat his insomnia in my arms once again and to fall prey to sleep’s vicious grasp his body indistinguishable from mine under the sheets, sharing one breath.

[weirdmageddon]

why i think aradia and john work so well

(with some stuff i’ve been wanting to yap about for ages)

have you guys ever given arajohn / johnradia (idk if its popular enough to even have a standardized ship name) any thought …? i know it seems kind of out of left field. i’ve considered it and i think its. really really good. i have a bunch of thoughts to unpack. come join me. and maybe grab a snack or something because i didn’t realize how much i'd actually have to say about this

(fantastic art by skeletood)

the other day i made a tweet that did rather well where i said, “john and aradia shouldve talked more. its so simple but i like how she actually earnestly answers his questions. so many characters in this comic are so mean to john for just wanting to know more give him a break”

putting it out there now im not big about shipping for the sake of shipping. there needs to be real chemistry. i need to sense that as a reason why two characters would potentially be a good influence on each other. i never knew why i was always so obstinate about this because it’s fictional and not materially hurting anyone, but i think it might be because i’m not sure how to justify it or explain it if not.

i strongly believe john and aradia would have had it made out for them if circumstances allowed it. (what i mean by “ship” or “johnradia” extends to any kind of interpersonal dynamic, even if just a good friendship. it doesnt even have to be romantic, just some sort of dynamic with them.)

unfortunately aradia originally committed herself to staying out of trolling the kids over their timelines, so john and aradia never talked until year 3 on the ship in the dream bubbles but they never had a truly proper one-on-one without outside meddling. i think if john knew aradia better and her story beforehand, she had more time to explain herself and her history, he wouldnt have been unsettled. and also of course if his experience with the trolls didn’t suck so bad because he already had expectations for how antagonizing most of them were.

i found people’s sentiments about johnradia elsewhere too. i remembered that they were both on the song art for ascend, and searched ao3 to see how many fics have been written to gauge how substaintial it’s been in the homestuck fandom. only 17 of them turned up. but the people who do talk about it are either curious about it or really do like it, and that interested me.

clearly it’s pretty niche character relationship to be depicted in any fanwork and i can understand why. despite being so small, from what ive seen it seems universally agreed upon to be nice. i haven’t seen a single person object to it. what ive seen falls into two categories: “wow i didnt think about this before but i actually dig it” or “(starving) finally some good fucking food”

the pattern im seeing is that people think it’s “random”, but i disagree. there is something there substantiating it even if they’re unable to articulate it.

the fanfic these comments are from is chronology of wind. that fic is really, really good, and sadly unfinished. i have more abstract reasons to believe why aradia and john would be good in theory, so actually seeing someone else actually make something with them helped me read it in action, to get a more tangible feel of the dynamic beyond what we have in canon.

i wouldn’t normally make claims about a relationship with regard to homestuck canon by looking at their relationship in a fanfic, because i think you all know by now i am very nitpicky about accurate characterization, and it does not go unnoticed by me when people get it right because for some reason it feels like a one in a million thing (even though it really shouldn’t be?). so this was a special case. the tone was completely consistent with canon. this fic is so in-character i’d basically consider it an extension of canon. to me it’s like they took the same characters and plopped them into this scenario to see how they’d interact. guys… i love that stuff so much. i love fanfiction or fanworks that depict realistic extensions of canon and stays true to the energy and tone of the source, but deepens it. there isn’t enough of it imo. i want to see more of it.

anyway, what i read of their conversations in that fic basically aligned with what i was thinking in my head about what i’d expect it to be like. i was able to compare how aradia and john talked to how aradia and the other characters interacted, their comparative attitudes towards each other—how they’re treated by others compared to how they treat each other.

have you noticed john and aradia’s communication values are both based on sincerity, being in the proper know, treating people fairly, and thanklessly taking on the necessary work that “must be done” in order to have what they really want — a good time that feels meaningful? and they accomplish this without any adjustment in how they talk to each other.

john is always subtly (or not-so-subtly) asking the people around him to answer him soberly and to the point so he knows whats going on and what that means for what his options are. he needs to know to what end he will be applying his absurd energetic drive into making shit happen. aradia honors his time before john can even become uncomfortable with the amount of time being eaten up by conversation. contrast this with rose, who seems to go on for a while with prose-like conversational adornments. in dire situations that need rapid explanation and definitive answers so he knows what to do, this is really the last thing he needs. aradia doesnt waste john’s time. she answers all his questions, and does it politely to boot. his time talking to her doesn't feel wasted.

john's impatience with this sort of nonsense is also why i can’t see something like dirkjohn working out, for example. to me it feels like @entropicbias also deeply understands this on some level because i literally couldn’t have demonstrated what i mean by it any better myself than that. i'm gonna have to to hit him up about how much i genuinely respect that like tbh hes one of the few i absolutely trust to handle writing and depicting these characters in situations and their interpersonal dynamics. and also care about doing their characterization justice as much as me.

of course people are still entitled to like whatever they like, ship whatever they want to. i dont care. but i just don’t think it would work from the perspective of the minds of the canon characters, how they generally think and approach situations. and i can already tell people might ask me how do i know this? what makes me an expert? i’m not more than anyone else is (although i have been called a "characterization expert" from my friends), but i do know that i can pick up on the energetic chemistry between people, including characters, honestly precognitively, without even thinking? like if it’s stiff or tense or awkward, if people aren’t free to express themselves uninhibitedly, if they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. i can sense this almost instantly. it’s something that’s a visceral feeling in my body i cant express and i have to rationalize it after the fact. like i’m doing now in fact writing this big analysis.

> listen to me talk about my special interest boy

for the next section to make sense, you probably want to read this post. i initially started writing it within this post to explain but there was so much brewing i had to explain the context that it turned into something i wanted to post on its own terms.

> okaaaaaayyyyy i read all that

thank you, really. my main point is using the conceptual tools provided by this system to expIain why aradia and john feel nice together and why i’ve seen people positively perceive the idea of a relationship between them even if it seems “random”.

framing them in this system, it wouldn’t be random! there’s a good reason they seem to fit nicely. this is because john and aradia have complementary forms of information metabolism. information metabolism is talked about in this section.

Jung’s psychic types are the types of cognition, or intelligence. But it would probably be easiest to call them types of IM [information metabolism], since the main difference between the types of people lies in their exchange of information with the external world.

Aushra Augusta, Commentary on Jung’s Typology and Introduction to Information Metabolism

aradia megido’s type of information metabolism (otherwise known as a TIM) is LII. john egbert’s TIM is ESE.

aradia and john’s types are duals. you can read more about what that entails here. in theory, their interactions would reflect the duality dynamic. reading chronology of wind, that one really in-character fic that explored their dynamic made me excited because they do!

michael pierce gave an overview of his impression of the characteristics of this intertype dynamic. despite only rough knowledge in socionics while he wrote this, his understanding of duality was spot on to me from my experience and others and i wanted to share it here. (fittingly, i believe he is also LII.)

Now we have the famous duality relationship: in a nutshell, this role is characterized by two traits: 1) a very close psychological distance or intimacy, and 2) a great ease of interacting with each other. It is sometimes described how meeting one's dual can be the event of a lifetime, because it inspires aspects in each party's character that they had never expressed before: the pair may even drop out of society for a time in order to focus on just each other, and to explore themselves through interaction with each other. The curious thing in this relationship is that these parties are rather different in outlook, and when they are not actually interacting as potential friends it's probably more likely for them to dislike or mistrust each other because of how different they are. […] However, when they are able to interact normally, it is a strange and wonderful discovery to realize that the interaction is unexpectedly smooth and invigorating. It's hard for people to describe, but as I understand it: while both parties recognize their differences on the surface, these differences are created by a root structure that coincides perfectly with each other, so that the differences on the surface are entirely complementary and cause no friction at all.

it’s also meaningful to consider that the structure of my own psyche is LII as well. so i’ve got a bit of a bias towards aradia and john.. not in the sense that what i actually say about them is personally biased, but that the bias is moreso my personal attention to people and characters of these two types in particular to see how my own experiences are reflected in them. i really do feel of a reflection of my own thought and work process in aradia and in the more abstract sense she is like an extension of myself. when people say they like aradia as a character i get secondhand joy from that because shares certain specific traits with me. of course i am still my own person though.

these are some of the most apt profiles i've found for these types at a glance. again, think about these characters as you read these descriptions. [from here (ESE / LII)]

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert) - john

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on socializing and guiding social situations and interactions so that the people involved can have fun and enjoy themselves. ESEs are typically in the middle of what is happening socially and know about the latest events and what people think and feel about them. They are skilled at bringing people together in fun and interesting ways and making everyone feel actively involved. Their friends know them as people who love life and feel most at home in social situations surrounded by other fun people. In their pursuit of fun-oriented and stimulating social interactions, ESEs typically neglect to structure their own thought processes and views in a way that would help them know exactly what they think and why. They are receptive to others’ attempts to help them introduce more structure and logical consistency in their life and thinking processes. They gravitate most to people who open up to fun and emotional interaction easily, yet are also skilled at systematizing thoughts and views and explaining ideological matters.

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert) - aradia

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on logical, structured thought and generating true assertions and views. LIIs are typically strict thinkers who are concerned that everything fits together in a logical way. They are skilled at understanding, generating, and criticizing logical arguments and instilling their views in the people around them. Their friends know them as people with well-organized thoughts and opinions who know what they think and can elucidate their ideas to others. In their pursuit of logical understanding, LIIs typically neglect their external social interactions and activities that would help them lighten up and experience a connection with other people. They are receptive to others’ attempts to create these fun and lighthearted situations for them. They gravitate most to people who are interested in their opinions and understanding of things, but are also skilled at organizing social interactions and creating a sense of emotional unity.

ive recently consciously experienced the feeling of duality for the first time since i've been communicating with my mom's high school classmate, and it is definitely a real thing. i even remember mom pointing out she noticed when we were all talking on the phone over a year ago that i perked up whenever he said stuff. here is how i explained it:

its bonkers how only once i experience something for myself i’m able to explain in detail what makes it so great based on what my impressions about it were because i tend to have a peculiar way of describing the qualities of an experience. my specialty is deep precision in my analogies for what it’s like. so now i can tell you how conversations with your dual feel… heres the status report. it’s weightless. its so strange. like the topic conversation stretches into infinity that you can pick right back up at any time. it’s hazy and unfocused but still pleasant (unless you’re particularly self-conscious and need to unlearn hiding your true self). but the best parts of it come when you have a specific issue or insecurity that comes with being your most natural self that the world seems to misunderstand about you, or just not give you what you don't even know you’ve been looking for. i think you might mutually intimidate each other at first because you're lowkey both expecting to be made fun of for your inadequacy with certain types of information that the other is nuanced with (and you’re not), but it never comes. you don't feel like what your dual wants in life is wrong. your dual seems so talented in all the ways you hope to shine but you’re always unsure of. for the introvert (me) wishing they felt their own active presence as an object (Se, Ne, Te, Fe) like the extravert does. for the extravert, wishing they felt their own relationships with other objects (Si, Ni, Ti, Fi) like the introvert does. any other intertype relationship (ITR) vs. duality is like the difference between 99% and 100% totality of a solar eclipse, except it’s the level of understanding with another person, like the eclipsing of your own information metabolism with theirs. of course there are other things that influence how well your relationship with this person goes, but i am talking strictly about when it comes to basic communication, the level of understanding you share. sometimes it might feel like you dont have much to talk about or the topic is unfocused, because you two ARE opposites in many ways after all, especially at a glance (domain of interests usually come with specific macroelements. theories about thought structures—like socionics, for instance—are in the domain of intuition, while physical interests and experiences are in the domain of sensorics.) i’m LII in the NT club (researchers) and my dual ESE in the SF club (social-communicative). so they’re constantly providing you with information from their own niche in life that you may be entirely unfamiliar with, but for some reason still interests and relaxes you to hear. you might not feel like you have a lot to say about the topic since but you are fully amazed by this person’s activity. it also makes you feel more sure of yourself and more confident that people truly appreciate and need your natural abilities.

> let’s break it down

here’s some lightly modified descriptions of the information blocks in LII and ESE's information metabolism models from pyatnitsky so you can get an overarching impression of how their type contributes to the informational sphere. i added some of my own adjustments and borrowed some sentences from stratiyevskaya's descriptions. additionally, you can click on the name of the block for an explanation of the role it plays.

i put about a week’s work into these collages but my goal with them was to actually show where i think these information blocks are most pertinent in these characters specifically and where they apply so it’s not just some abstract thing, just as supplementary examples as needed. (for the meaning of these information elements individually you can refer to cysia’s document.)

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert)

EGO (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Analytical thinking. They are well aware of the interrelationships of some objects or phenomena with others, and what laws are in effect or not in effect. On the basis of a comprehensive analysis, they put forward insights about the global essence of specific objects and phenomena, their possibilities. They acutely charge the situation with potential energy. For every situation, there is an archetype.

Super-EGO (-Fi? -> -Se!). Normative ideas about relationships between people and ways to get out of unpleasant ethical situations. Understands ethics as founded on the principles of fairness; to do to one side of the equation that you do to the other. Volitional manifestations in order to protect their living space are carried out only on the basis of personal experience. Because of the limited opportunities to fight back, they react painfully to attempts of any interference in his life. Does not respond to any arbitrary crudeness or volitional pressuring. Does not compromise goals, stubbornly clings to them. Avoids direct confrontation if possible, would rather talk civilly and earnestly. Uses their naturally strong sense of the conditioning of objects over time to avoid collisions with their material interests. Due to this, they may appear as someone with very little weaknesses.

Super-ID (+Fe -> +Si?) Attracts information about a good mood, a specific positive state, or a feeling. They would like to think that they can eliminate serious inconveniences, make the environment around them more comfortable. This skill needs to be evaluated. They are unconsciously activated when there is a need to make the environment more comfortable, which should lead to a better state, raise the mood at least in the immediate environment. In friendly, comfortable, and informal company, their cool exterior thaws and they start lighting up with joviality.

ID (+Te! → +Ni?). Has developed guidelines and methods that relate to specific practical activities, technological effectiveness, and resource use. Spontaneously feels the correct allocation of resources over time, which allows them to effectively solve tasks at an unhurried pace. This pace is deeply rational in nature.

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert)

EGO (+Fe! -> +Si?). Perception of the world is fundamentally emotional. Feels the emotional atmosphere well in any situation, knows the relevance of the way of expression, the place and weight (importance) of the internal state in each situation. Flexible approach to solving problems of managing and expressing emotions. They show bright emotionality both negative and positive. Creatively produces around themself comfort, coziness, conveniently arranges space, surrounds others with beautiful things, changing thereby the general condition and mood. Usually opinionated about their tastes.

(wow i really went all out on that this one that tumblr wont even display it in full resolution, so here. john just has so many more lines to choose from, sorry!)

Super-EGO (+Te! -> +Ni?). Practical and technological thinking is tightly based on acquired knowledge and patterns of solving similar problems. Methods of business activity in both general and specific areas are selected based on the opinion of reputable sources, or adjusted to one of the mastered templates. Predicting specific changes in the sphere of their interests is carried out only on the basis of personal experience. He is not able to compare his own method of forecasting with others, so he is sensitive to criticism of poor timing or deadlines, does not like situations that feel like a waste of his time; he is lost in connection with negative events. Guided by purely personal experience, he chooses specific times and deadlines for various tasks with a normative understanding of business activity in general.

Super-ID (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Attracts information about the order, specific logical relationships in the field of activity or interests. Needs someone to suggest specific ways to make connections between phenomena, patterns, and rules. Tries to be reasonable himself, even though he knows that this is not characteristic of him. Sometimes he openly talks of his actions that were poorly reasoned through, as if inviting other people to laugh at his thoughtlessness. The ordering and systematization of thought opens up a new way of understanding of events that are happening around him, as well as new prospects, potential, and capabilities. He likes to think that he understands the essence of a situation and lights up with new ideas. This skill needs to be evaluated. It is unconsciously activated when it is necessary to create order, clear consistency and clarity on a particular issue, especially if their abilities are recognized.

ID (-Fi? -> -Se!). Involuntarily keeps track of communications in their social circle. Without hesitation, they use a variety of ways to establish and maintain relationships that have been developed in his personal practice. Good relationships are important for personal inner confidence in a situation. To prevent unfavorable relationships, they are inclined, often without even realizing it, to act with pressure, forcing a showdown, forcing the partner to change the relationship for the better. Frequently demonstrates his resoluteness, persistence, and purposefulness, as if proposing his behavior as a model for imitation. Usually tells in much detail what obstacles were created before him, and how he overcame them, what he was told in response, and what he replied with, and so on and in the like.

(full res)

you might be able to see already how they would complement each other's thought process nicely. here are some descriptions of what the communication between these types is like:

+Fe! : program function of ESE and dual-seeking function of LII

The ESE periodically tells emotionally charged "program" function stories, telling of how somebody has acted and what they have done. The main orientation of ESE's leading ethical program is: "No one should be offended." The LII carefully listens to these statements, and, demonstrating a full understanding of these issues, develops logical basis for them, e.g. in calm persuasive voice he explains how the ESE has acted justly and fairly. The effusion of turbulent emotions coming from the ESE is counterbalanced by their absorption by the LII, who breaks them down into fragments by asking clarifying questions of the ESE.

-Ti? : dual-seeking function of ESE and program function of LII

The ESE is tuned to accepting information when it's relayed in clear logical form. He issues requests for logical explanations delivered from a point of view of generalized rules underpinning specific life events, which he receives from the LII, who delivers clear unambiguous interpretations, places the dots over all "i's", and demonstrates good understanding of problems that are of concern to the ESE. Not receiving information of this kind, the ESE begins making demands of those around him to be "intelligent" and understand the reasons of his actions.

-Ne! : activating function of ESE and creative function of LII

The ESE feels uncomfortable if he doesn't extend his help to people who are in need of it. His subconscious orientation is: "care and guard the talented", be kind and attentive towards other people. The LII usually meets such criteria by proving in action his aptitude at uncovering hidden capabilities, winning trust, passing on the knowledge. The ESE creates supportive conditions for people who are capable but lacking in assertive "push-through" qualities, among whom the LII finds himself, and a special work regime that protects such individuals from overloads on sensing functions. Newly discovered possibilities inspire and promote the pragmatic and business-oriented activities of the ESE. He can support a new undertaking or initiative with an enormous amount of energy and enthusiasm, light up by new ideas. Only the LII is able to, even having a vague general notion about the subject, construct a developed theory or idea of any issue. This theory shows to be promising in the process of its concrete application within its field.

+Si? : creative function of ESE and activating function of LII

LII tries to take care of their well-being, but may gravitate towards demonstrative asceticism, exhaust himself with work, studies, or exercise. The ESE periodically takes care of creating an environment that "charges" the LII with pleasant sensations: a reception of guests, a good meal, a visit to a theater or a concert, an interesting trip, and so on. At the same time the ESE takes pleasure in this himself.

+Te! : role function of ESE and observing function of LII

The role function of the ESE manifests as business-oriented activity and initiative, supplying interesting information, provision with material assistance to those who are in need, general restlessness and fussy busyness. This function is normative, i.e. the ESE seeks to comply with the norms and accepted ways of doing things. The nuancing of the understanding of these norms, i.e. introduction of activities that go beyond them, is possible only by considering LII's advice and recommendations. The LII serves as a director of this function, adjusting its workings by advocating the necessity of practical application of some beneficial ideas, rejection of useless though spectacular ideas, and the need to ensure standards of life not below average by rejection of equalization.

+Ni? : vulnerable function of ESE and demonstrative function of LII

The ESE poorly feels the flow of time, both physical, which manifests as running late and poor distribution of his strengths over time, and historical, which manifests as poor ability to anticipate consequences of actions and tendency for traditional ways of solving problems. The ESE finds it difficult to make radical choices. The LII fully takes this aspect onto his shoulders. He has an unconscious ability to distribute activities in time, thereby avoiding work stress and overloads, and is capable of making a radical choice. The LII is able to calmly wait and in the necessary moment get to work when the wasteful fussiness of the ESE reaches its critical point.

-Fi? : ignoring function of ESE and role function of LII

On this function the ESE gives advice and makes demands concerning the creation of appropriate psychological distances in form of proper behavior, courtesy and politeness, denouncing rudeness and boorishness. In this manner, the ESE adjusts LII's role function, which in itself contains a set of large psychological distances: a sullen stubborn look, unsociability, etc. With such fine-tuning it becomes easier for the LII to come into contact with people, whereby he becomes more animated, resolves many of his ethical problems that previously frightened him, gains greater insight into human relationships and a more accurate understanding as to whose side to take in situations of conflict.

-Se! : demonstrative function of ESE and vulnerable function of LII

The LII finds it very difficult to exert pressure on other people from his own will and initiative, especially in cases when he needs to attain something for himself. He finds this difficult to do - to press ahead in certain situations, to gather all the required paperwork, to stand in lines and queues, to petition for his own interests, even the ones that are of vital importance to him. He finds it difficult to push a person away, to sharply refuse someone, to quarrel loudly and defend his rights, to put an end to relations that have exhausted themselves. The ESE doesn't directly affect this function, i.e. he doesn't verbally criticize and teach the LII on this aspect, but takes over its functioning completely. The ESE exerts a constant, sometimes intrusive and imposing pressure on other people if there is a need to achieve something, to defend justice and demand fair treatment, to protect interests of those who are close and dear to him. The ESE goes to the right jurisdictions, inspires people around him and directs them towards work and purposeful activity, keeps up a high pace of life himself, and breaks off relations with those who don't deserve trust.

and some miscellaneous excerpts from literature i liked a lot. (i can't remember the sources i used since i've been working on this on and off, for the past week and i was just spilling things onto the post. i think stratiyevskaya?):

Mood - that’s what matters in this dyad - emotions and feelings. Anything that suppresses and overshadows good mood is considered unethical in this dyad and is strongly condemned.

The ESE does not allow the LII to limit him in the possibilities of consuming the amount of pleasures and joys, which he considers to be necessary and sufficient. Fortunately, both partners in the dyad - LII and ESE - are obstinate and unyielding. Both are demanding, unwilling (and not allowing anyone else) to lower the bar of their requirements, unable to give in and make concessions (especially in anything that is of principle for themselves). Both know how to make their partner reckon with their interests and insist on the fulfillment of their demands.

LII is impressed by the emotional generosity of ESE and his spiritual responsiveness. All this finds the deepest understanding in LII, since he is tuned to the same priorities and values. For his part, ESE admires the ability of LII to speak clearly and definitely on every issue. ESE is struck by the harmony of the reasoning of LII, the amazing clarity, accuracy and laconicism of his statements. To ESE it seems that for LII, there is nothing incomprehensible in this world; he can give a comprehensive explanation on every issue. And everything that ESE thought about before is gradually being built into a definite and clear system of views, which he can now very freely and naturally present. Confusion and chaos in his worldview gradually gives way to a stable logical order, as if someone patient and careful was sorting all his thoughts into shelves. Such clarity inspires and activates ESE; he begins to see some prospects for himself, new opportunities. His energy and activity, in addition to emotional and ethical expression, also receives sensory realization: ESE begins to take care of LII and carefully looks after him. If LII is a colleague with whom ESE is especially pleasant to communicate with, he begins to treat him with something tasty, homemade; will make some small, but beautiful and necessary gift (for example: new cologne or a warm scarf).

> okay that's great and all but when are we talking about john and aradia specifically?

yes, that was the point of this post. i just had to build all that up first so i could walk you through my thoughts in a fully substantiated way.

considering chronology of wind again, john doesnt realize it but he needs aradias frankness and insight. even if she’s unable to explicate on vague things, she states the reason why instead of making him feel stupid (it would create a doomed timeline) but thats all john needs to hear. she is self-effacing and only tells him the truth, and we know other people can take advantage of john’s suggestibility in this way. aradia tells john who is or isnt trustworthy, what actions would be useful/necessary and which ones wont, without any selfish personal motive a la vriska or terezi.

^ (juuuust the record my nitpicky ass doesn’t agree with the truth of the classpect interpretation on behalf of the author in the last bit BUT that is beside the point here. the point is that she is answering john’s question in a way that is meaningful for him)

aradia doesnt realize it but she needs john’s friendy goofiness to brighten her up because she is surrounded by people who antagonize her when she’s literally not even trying to get under anyones skin. everybody gets frustrated at her “spooky nonsense” because theyre afraid of their own mortality, basically telling her to put a lid on it because thinking about hard truths makes THEM personally uncomfortable. but to her it’s always just been a fact of life. plugging your ears to reality is ignorance, but at the same time that doesn’t mean there’s no meaning in anything. she wants to help people see this and she dedicates herself to becoming a psychopomp for the deceased and earnestly trying to make people feel emotionally and physically comfortable in their situation through exploring their memories.

john isn’t hostile towards her. by being herself she is immediately able to earn john’s trust when they initially talk. this is also true in canon; the one time they talked when john initially comes up to her, saying “can i ask you something? seem reasonable, and pretty nice.” unfortunately he asked her the one question she didn’t have much to say about, and i can’t blame him for expecting all the troll girls to be basically insane at that point. but i don’t think aradia is insane. yes she is odd, but i think it’s evident that she has a good head on her shoulders with knowledge of the way the universe around her works, and in the end wants to simply bask in watching it play out. i think she deserves to get childishly excited about it, especially considering she was dead for most of her developmental years.

aside from getting his answers answered, john shows curiosity about her and her species and even care about her well-being and state. this naturally comes from their conversation’s ebb and flow. aradia tells this straightforwardly, without bells and whistles and without trying to trick him, unlike the other trolls who seem keen on well..trolling him.. and providing him with unclear answers to those sorts things. maybe aside from vriska, but she did have a little bit of an attitude about it wherein her and john’s dynamic felt uneven or off-rhythm, with a large psychological distance. it’s a different feeling with aradia, however. they exchange information on the same rhythm and so are able to achieve a closer psychological distance in communication.

there are no judgments coming from aradia about john being “stupid”. she doesn’t underestimate him. it’s not just that john wants to understand (although he does), but he needs to understand what he is doing. aradia compliments john about the traits he possesses that allow him to be effective. i guess in a way i’m doing the same thing with john right now.

john is so mobile and strung along by being the action hero going from place to place as a can-do deliveryboy that he never has time to reflect on his losses, think through them, and accept them.

literally who else is more qualified in all of homestuck than aradia for talking to john about these things?

on top of all of this, they have objectively significant connections beyond just mutual self-realization in a way i think could've been fleshed out. there is potential here.

for a story, i can think of a way that a conversation between them could plausibly happen using the systems established in homestuck's mythology. in canon, we see that john never met aradia until year 3 on the golden battleship in the dream bubbles when he goes to sleep.

but john still dreamt out in the furthest ring. that means during those 3 years it was possible for john to have had a dream with her in it, or at least aradiabot. i know john didn't know aradia's name beforehand but let's just explore the possibility that they could have had met before that. remember that all these aradiabots were once this person.

aradia had obtained john's crosbytop, his dads hat, and his wallet quite a while before their sgrub session. theres your entry

imagine john seeing that

memories of dear old dad get stirred up through the link of seeing those items

the dream bubble transforms

john is forced to stand in his memories and explore grief and the meaning of life with aradia

physically being in the space around him would definitely help john reflect easier i think because it will force him to actually exist within the space and talk to someone, taking some time out for this. he wanted to know if anything could've been done or if he was just too late to save them. i know aradia would be able help him slow down and introspect. don't forget the opportunities created by the properties of these spaces that are glubbed out in the furthest ring by the horrorterrors that meld the labyrinthine time and space of their surroundings to the memories of the people and finding others through common points in memory. i would imagine that objects known by multiple people would provide a common point in memory to bring them together.

The bubbles allow the players of Sburb/Sgrub who have lost a life to continue dreaming. The reality constructed in the bubbles is a combination of the memories of everyone inside the bubble accessible to any who has learned the bubble's nature. According to Aradia, it would be quite difficult to exit a bubble to get into a new one, however someone inside a bubble can travel to another one through common points in memory, taking their own memories with them to be integrated into the new bubble. These memories mix and combine, but in general, no new memories are created. Additionally, the bubbles store the consciousness of a player who has lost their dream selves and their original selves, making them double as a form of afterlife; the player is then capable of accessing the memory of anyone else who has gained access to the bubbles. Living players, who have lost or become their dream selves, appear in the dream bubbles when they are asleep. It is in this fashion that the bubbles can be used as meeting places between the dead and the living; even those from alternate universes and doomed timelines can be found in a bubble. Furthermore, in addition to memories, the bubbles can to some extent reflect the thoughts of a player. Beyond that, the bubbles can also behave similarly to Skaia's clouds, showing things that are in some way relevant to the player - such as when coin-flip Dave saw alpha Dave grieving over Bro's corpse - something he was not aware of before being shown it by a bubble.

physically reflect the thoughts of the player…… rubs hands

john and aradia share points in memory related to those objects, and to top it all of they are directly related to john's dad on the same day he died, while aradia grew up with them as bizarre alien artifacts from an archeological dig. the memories are more emotionally charged for john, and i think that distinction would probably be relevant to them both.

to be honest i think after speaking with him for a bit she would readily tell john that she regrets not talking to the kids from the universe her team created sooner before she died, but is glad that she can in the afterlife. in canon, alpha aradia told a doomed dave, "i think its absurd i never introduced myself to you in all that time i spent moping around the lab. guess i wasnt in a very good mood".

now not all the aradiabots would know who john is, because the trolls only found out about the humans once they created the genesis frog and hid out in the lab in the veil from jack who infiltrated their session. the aradiabot in the lab was the last one that survived. so if any one of them would know who john is, it would be the aradiabot that exploded. aradia's dream self ascended to god tier in jack noir's rampage on trolls' derse and took those memories with her which we can assume is what made the last aradiabot explode. its known that any original copy that dies when another rises up becomes a ghost and lives on in the dream bubbles, which would include her. a doomed aradiabot we see in the comic, which was the one that originally landed to alternia in the past, becomes more lighthearted after she dies, a bit more like her alive counterpart.

oh yeah, and the more obvious surface-level connections to top it off? ghostbusters? john ain't afraid of no ghost girl. john would be genuinely interested in what aradia living as a ghost irl on her planet and not as a gaming abstraction in the furthest ring would be like. i imagine she would be able to explain the subjective experience and that she had to prototype herself into the kernelsprite order for her server player to see her. there's also no way john hasn't seen a movie as classic as indiana jones and judging from her poster i can imagine he probably thinks it's sweet that aradia's strife specibus whipkind is a reflection of her own personal tastes, interests and hobbies.

so yeah i've just been chewing on all of this and thinking about it but i know i needed to just get this out there somehow. obviously since i spent two weeks putting this post together i'd be happy to hear your thoughts

[writingcrustacean]

Kinda Cute

Pairings: Ace x Reader, Zoro x Reader

Content: Fluff. Gender neutral reader in mind.

Note: Am I making my first post- as in, first ever Tumblr post- a total shit shot? Yes, yes I am. Did I edit or review these at all? No, no I did not. But that's fiiiiiine. I haven't written much of anything in years, okay? It's just, these two boys just have me in a chokehold, and I love them. I promise I'm actually good at this shit, it's just 2:30 am and, again, haven't written in ages. So if it's bad and you read this, that's on you. Not me. Deal? Deal.

Zoro;

“Kinda cute.”

Those words were on repeat in his head, bouncing from wall to wall, echoing and silencing any other thought that could have existed. He had just woken up from one of many naps when you said those words to him the first time. His eye met yours, confirming that it was indeed meant for him. A slight upwards tilt to your lips and a sparkle in your eyes.

Fuck.

A rapid, onset blush kissed his tanned skin as he found himself unable to look away. You were quick to take it in, your smirk growing. You were teasing him, had to be.

It had been days since you first spoke those words to him, and you found every chance to repeat them- any chance to see his blush, truly. Your infatuation growing day by day, blush by blush. It was unfair, really. You were so smooth with your flirtations, so comfortable with turning Zoro into a stuttering mess. Normally so composed and in control, two words were enough to break him. He almost had enough of it, enough of the torture. But he couldn't deny it- he loved your attention. Secretly craved it, secretly wanted more. So much more. And he was about ready to go for it. If you could so easily make your interest known, so could he. Easy.

Right?

“I- d’you?” His face was hot, so hot. His mind was going blank, looking into your gaze.

You took a step closer, brows knitted together. The back of your hand gently met his forehead, an attempt at checking his temperature. “Ya okay, Zoro? Your fac-”

You were unceremoniously cut off as the swordsman slammed his lips against yours, his eye scrunched close. You could have giggled, would have, if he hadn't pulled you so close. And the electricity that shot through your body had both mind and body going numb. Your stiff shoulders and rigid posture caught his attention, a flicker of uncertainty and panic surging through his core. Fuck, he fucked up. Misread your teasing as flirting, thought you were dropping signals you weren't. He felt so stupid.

Slowly, you raised your hands. One on the side of his face, the other on his shoulder. His roughness met with a softness he hadn't expected, both blushes intensifying. 

Ace;

The squeal slipped past your lips, loud laughter shortly following. Soft, warm fingers left feather touches along your sides. Up and down, up and down. His touch taunted you, tickled you.

Minutes ago you were sleeping so peacefully, relaxed and warm in the arms of your lover. And at first, you barely noticed his touches, softly caressing any inch of skin he had access to. But then his hands ran along your sides, snapping into reality at that ever familiar sensation. The chuckle from behind you confirmed it was on purpose. You would have turned to look at him until he did it again. And again. You quickly decided rolling away was the better option, meeting the floor with a rather solid “thunk” as you let out a loud huff. “Ace!” You whined up at him, pout ever evident in the tone of your voice- a failed attempt at hiding your amusement.

His freckles, black eyes and hair were soon hovering over the edge of the bed. His wild grin lit up his face as he drank in your appearance. Lips in a pout, eyes wide and glistening. “Heh, kinda cute.”

You exaggerated your eye roll, yet your lips began to curl into a grin at the compliment. As much as you hated admitting it, you wouldn't mind being woken up like that any day of the week. So long as it was him, with his warm smile and loving gaze. Unfortunately for you, he knew that. Knew just what effect he had on you and how hard it was for you to be mad at him.

[cottonlemonade]

Making Up After A Fight

word count: 756 || avg. reading time: 3 mins.

pairing: post-time skip Oikawa x chubby!Reader

genre: angst with happy ending

warnings: none, just Oikawa being hard on himself and insecure

Oikawa hates fighting as much as you do.

But sometimes it was inevitable. His training schedule had been crazy, the coach had scolded him for putting too much pressure on his bad knee and he was frustrated with himself for delivering, as he thought, disappointing performances on the court lately.

And unfortunately, you were the best girlfriend through all of this. Something he should be happy about, but like many times before it just made him realize that he didn't deserve you.

He couldn't give you the time he wanted. He wished more than anything that you would just tell him how disappointed you were in the relationship and in him, for not being good enough, there enough, doting enough - he hated it. He hated every second, because he knew that when he got to his phone at the end of training, a sweet and loving message would wait for him, saying that you missed him. You would have maybe sent a picture of something cute that reminded you of him during your day or suggested something to do together on his next day off. It was infuriating that you never blamed him for not being the boyfriend he should be.

So it came as no surprise that one night after practice, when he was over at your place, he snapped. He just arrived, took off his shoes and smelled the lovely home cooked meal that was simmering on the stove. You came to greet him, smiling tiredly but genuinely happy to see him and he couldn't take it anymore. He started yelling and gesturing, asking you why you even bothered with him, told you how you weren't right for him, that you made him feel like garbage, turned on his heels, grabbed his shoes and left.

You stood in the doorway of your kitchen, not knowing, not understanding what had just happened but you also knew that he had never yelled at you before. Ever. Sure you'd seen him frustrated and stressed but even then his outbursts were never directed at you. Not like this.

Tears started to fill your eyes. You grabbed your phone, wanting to call him, had already one arm in your jacket to go after him, but decided against it.

The phone in your hand buzzed but it was only a text from your friend asking about your day. You typed a nondescript reply, not wanting them to worry and promised to call tomorrow.

Now only silence filled your apartment. Silence and the taunting smell of an untouched dinner.

You paced a while up and down your living room, throwing tentative glances through your window to see if you could maybe spot him on the dark street below. But nothing.

You started several messages to Tooru but deleted them before hitting send - none of them sounded right.

Not knowing what else to do, you put the now cold dinner into the fridge, took a shower and headed to bed, unable to stop more tears rolling onto the pillow.

You heard the front door unlock at around 1 am, but didn't know if you just imagined it in your half sleep state.

A soft knock came from your bedroom door. You weren’t exactly in the mood to talk, so you stayed quiet. Another soft knock and the door opened slowly. For the longest moment Oikawa just stood in the doorway, looking at your, he assumed, sleeping form.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes and then shrugged off his jacket to sit on the bed. Slowly, carefully, he laid down behind you, moving closer to wrap his arm around your soft waist.

"Are you awake?", he murmured.

You shifted slightly to show him you were.

"I'm really sorry.", he whispered gingerly into the crook of your neck, "You did absolutely nothing wrong, I promise. It's just with the training and my screw ups at the last match and you have been so great about it all and-"

You heard his throat closing up as he nuzzled closer to you, "I really don't know how you put up with it. I'm never around, I never have time to do normal couple stuff, I mess up your sleep schedule and you never complain. I feel horrible."

You finally turn around to face him. "Well, I am mad at you now, if that makes you feel better."

He had to chuckle through his tears and bit his lip, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. "I love you, darling."

You snuggled into his chest and entwined your fingers with his. "I love you, too."

[frayaziwriter]

I'm A Spider - Wait, What?

Chapter 2

When you died, the sun was just barely peeking over the treetops. It was too bad you couldn’t see it rise once more; your eyes were glued shut and you couldn't move. You could vaguely hear the heart monitor beep from its place beside your bed. 

‘It hurts..’

You were too tired, too limp to make even a whimper.

‘Please, make the pain stop.’

[Request fulfilled. Notice; you now have {Pain Resistance}.] <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You woke slowly.

‘..What?’ You thought, struggling to get your feet under you. ‘What happened?’

[Congratulations on your evolution. You have acquired new skills.]

‘New..skills?’ That’s when you noticed the crackling shell littering your cave floor. You shrieked, bumping back into the somewhat cramped wall of the crevice. ‘The hell?! What is that?!’

[Answer; that is your molted exoskeleton. You will molt with each evolution to make way for your bigger form.]

You whimpered. ‘Oh..okay. Okay. That..was ew.’

[Notice; you have acquired new skills.]

Hesitantly shoving the exoskeleton out of your home, you nod. ‘R-Right. Right, okay. What are they?’

[Answer; in total, you have ten skills, including myself. Your new ones are the {Skill; Thought Communication}, the {Skill; Venom Resistance}, and the {Skill; Venom Fang}.]

A grumble from your stomach had you mentally groaning and you headed back for the pit of baby bugs. ‘Okay. And what do they do?’

[Answer; the {Skill; Thought Communication} allows you to communicate with others via a mental link. The {Skill; Venom Resistance} gives you complete immunity to any venom. The {Skill; Venom Fang} gives you the ability to inject venom into prey or enemies.]

‘Huh, okay. That’s pretty useful.’ You think as you finally arrive at the pit. The parents aren’t here again. How lucky can you get? ‘And what about my other skills?’

[Notice; you have the {Skill; Pain Resistance}, which is self-explanatory. You have the {Skill; Double Jump}, which doubles your normal jump distance. You have the {Skill; Sticky Thread}, which can trap enemies or prey and can prevent them from moving. You have the {Skill; Steel Thread}, which can be used to defend against attacks or when making nests. You have the {Skill; Night Vision}. This should also be self-explanatory.]

You munched on another centipede. Man, evolution takes a lot out of you, huh? ‘That steel and sticky thread can be very useful already. And what about you? You said you’re also a skill?’

[Answer; I am your {Unique Skill; Chiron}. I am meant to teach and guide you.]

‘I see.’ Then, you huffed out a trilling laugh. ‘I sure got lucky, huh? Thanks for everything, Chiron.’

[Answer; you are very welcome.] <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

‘Hey, Chiron?’

According to your Google Home equivalent, it’s been a few days since you became lost. You were now cleaning your blade-like legs of monster bug blood after eating your fill. 

‘Can I have my Spidey Sense on at all times?’

[Correction; it’s called Spider’s Sense. Answer; yes.]

You paused and glared up at the ceiling. ‘That’s a very weird hill to die on, bud. I’m calling it Spidey Sense and you can’t stop me. But anyways, cool! Are there any special conditions I need to do first?’

[Would you like permanently activate the {Skill; Spider’s Sense}? Notice; will be unable to turn it off once you do.]

Huh. Guess not. You softly churred. ‘Can I think about it first?’ It was an insanely weird sensation the first couple of times, you’re not sure you’d want to feel it 24/7.

Silence from your Google Head. (If you had the right mouth, you would smile at your little joke. Unfortunately, you do not, and you’re not sure how to feel about that.)

You decided to take it as an affirmative. ‘Well, let’s get back to my little crevice home! I’ve eaten and cleaned myself to the best of my ability! Time to rest!’

And then you followed the now familiar route from the Centipede Pit (as you’ve taken to calling it) to your temporary home. You thank any god willing to listen that you managed to avoid the parents of the baby monster bugs, as you’re 100% certain you would face total annihilation if they caught you eating their children. 

Your temporary home was a little crevice you found near the ceiling. It was just big enough for you to fit but small enough that no other creature in the Sealed Cave could enter. And with a little door you made from webbing a piece of rock to one side of the entrance, it was the perfect little hidey-hole! You could spend your days waiting for rescue as safely as possible here!

Finally reaching your little nook, you slipped in and closed the ‘door’ behind you with a shot of webbing.

‘Night-night, Chiron. Wake me up if anything happens!’

And then you settled in for sleep. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

‘Let’s see..’ You think to yourself, turning on your Spidey Sense as you tapped your front two forelegs together. ‘Nothing nearby.. It should be safe then..’

Opening your ‘door’, you cautiously slipped out of your home. ‘I should put up some defenses since I have the time. Maybe I should make a fake home to confuse would-be predators?’ You muse while you march forward. ‘Hmm. I should also put up a small storage area for food or nicknacks or something..’

You skittered up the wall and stuck a blob of Sticky Thread up high before leaping off and landing on a pillar. Pulling it taut, you wrapped it around the rock and climbed down. ‘Hey, Chiron? Can I slice through rock yet?’

[Answer; only Knights and Arch Knights are able to slice through rock.]

‘Aww, man!’ You think while wrapping the thread around a few other things and slicing it off. ‘I was hoping to make an escape tunnel..’

You stuck the end of the thread near your ‘door’ before turning around to repeat the process. ‘Oh, well. I should work with what I got, then.’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Over the course of two and a half days, you constructed several defensive webs to protect your home. 

The ones closest to your little crevice were made almost entirely out of Sticky Thread. You used those as a last resort, and for capturing any prey small enough to fit through the gaps. The ones further away had Steel Thread, which were for warding off large predators.

Nearby, you had found a hole to stuff your things inside for safekeeping. (Not that you had any as of now..) 

You stared up at your ‘nest’ with pride. It may not be the best job you could do, but it got the job done and you made your first home! One step closer to total independence! Good job, you!

‘As a celebration for finally finishing the defenses for my home, I declare a feast!’ You jokingly say to yourself, quickly heading out to the Centipede Pit. ‘I shall eat baby bugs until I’m kicked out by the parents or completely full! Let’s go!’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

It was two weeks after you were separated from spider civilization when you ran into trouble.

You didn’t have your spidey sense on, so you didn’t notice the large monster slithering up behind you until you were almost hit.

It was thanks to you turning that skill on at the last minute that you survived the initial attack. You screeched as you jumped away, narrowly dodging the massive tail slamming into the rocky ground you were once standing on.

‘What the fuck is that?!’

[Answer; a Black Snake. Notice; this monster has the {Skill; Poisonous Breath} and the {Skill; Heat Source Sense}. Its scales are tough and are thorned. Suggestion; tread lightly.]

‘Hold up, that’s the thing I ate a couple weeks ago?!’ You thought as you jumped out of the way of another tail attack. The giant snake hissed at you as you landed on a pillar. ‘It didn’t look like this before!’

[Notice; a Knight’s claws are sharp enough to cut through the scales of a Black Serpent.]

You skittered across the ceiling. ‘Ah, so that one got descaled. Hah. So, should I flee or fight?’

[Suggestion; fight.]

‘Alright!’ You jumped once more to avoid a cloud of the poisonous gas the serpent spewed at you. ‘Okay, activate Spidey Sense and Double Jump to create some distance.’

And then you jumped away. Shrieking, you skitted to a stop. ‘Holy crap, that was quick!’ Alarms blared in your head and quickly jumped away with your newfound skill once more. With each jump, you became more and more proficient in using the skill. ‘Okay, I think we have enough room. Sticky Thread!’

The white substance shot out of your spinneret as you jumped between the walls of the cavern with Double Jump. ‘Steel Thread!’

Another stream of white silk shot out of your rear and you intertwined the strong steel with its sticky counterpart just as the monster serpent pounced. You jumped through a gap of webs just as its jaws snagged on your wall. Pausing, you watched it struggle for a moment. This wasn’t what you were going for, but you weren’t complaining!

‘Chiron? How likely is it that once this thing gets free it’ll come after me?’

[Answer; highly probable. Suggestion; dispose of it now.]

‘My thoughts exactly, Chiron, bud.’

[Would you like to use the {Skill; Steel Thread}?]

‘Yes!’

Steeling your nerves, you use Double Jump once more and make your way up to the head of the snake. You took a moment to observe the giant serpent before sticking a spool of Steel Thread around a horned scale and jumping off its throat. You swung yourself underneath the serpent and around. The Steel Thread tightened against the neck as you tugged it taut, slitting the monster’s throat as you went.

The serpent shrieked in pain, the sound quickly dying to a gurgle as it lost a copious amount of blood. It thrashed violently and you cut off the Sticky Thread before landing nearby.

You turned around just in time to see it free itself of your web defense and lunge at you. ‘Eek!’ You darted for the other side of the wall of webs with Double Jump assisting you and only stopped when you reached a cavern wall.

Turning around, you watched as the snake slowly died, poisonous gas filtering out of its open maw as it went. 

It was silent for a long while after it wheezed for the final time. You took that moment to breathe.

‘That was...terrifying.’

[Notice; energy low. Suggestion; eat the Black Serpent.]

‘Yeah yeah, I know.’ You grumble back as you carefully made your way back to the downed serpent. ‘Will I get any extra skills from this?’

Silence. Okay then. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

[Notice; evolution requirements met. You are now evolving into a Medium Taratect. Congratulations. Suggestion; find a safe place.]

Wait, what? You startle as you finish eating the Black Serpent a few days after killing it. ‘Huh? What do you mean, ‘evolving’?’

[Suggestion; find safe place.]

‘Alright! I heard you the first time!’ You huff as you double-time it to your little hidey-hole. ‘Didn’t I already evolve though?!’

[Answer; you will evolve into a Medium Taratect. This is due to absorbing the required amount of magicules. Notice; evolution will now commence.]

You were just a few meters away from your little crevice when your vision swam at the sudden sense of vertigo. You stumbled, almost crashing painfully to your feet when a wave of exhaustion washed over you directly after. ‘W-What’s going...on?’

[Answer; evolution is now commencing.]

‘This..didn’t happen...before! What’s..going on?!’ You think sluggishly as you reach your little nook.

[Notice; this hole will not be big enough for your evolved form.]

The world faded away at that exact moment.

[Congratulations on your evolution to Medium Taratect. Notice; you have gained new skills.] <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Pain resistance? What is this voice talking about? Are you having a fever dream again? But, you don’t think you have a fever.

God, it was getting harder to breathe. ‘I can’t breathe..’

[Request fulfilled. Selecting form with passive breathing.] <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You awoke to a molted layer of exoskeleton strewn about around your crumpled form.

Shrieking, you jumped away, your claws clicking against the rocky ground. Backing up, you ran into a large stalagmite. You then promptly shrieked again and jumped back from the spike of rock. Upon realizing that the cavern was empty, you struggled to stop the trembling in your body.

‘Okay. That was..a terrible experience. I don’t ever wanna go through that again.’

[Congratulations on your evolution to Medium Taratect.]

‘Thanks, Chiron..’ You flumped to your belly again. ‘Am I ever going to get used to waking up to molted exoskeletons?’ You thought to yourself.

[Notice; you have acquired new skills.]

You perked up. ‘Oh? What are they?’ And then your stomach grumbled. Ah, right. Evolution takes a lot of energy. Welp, you might as well go hunt more baby bugs!

[Answer; you have acquired the {Skill; Regeneration}. This skill gives you the ability to heal injuries and regenerate lost limbs. You have also acquired the {Skill; Food Buff}. This skill turns the food you eat into bursts of strength by storing the energy for later. Can also keep you alive during periods of famine, depending on the amount of energy stored up.]

‘So, like blubber in seals and whales. Got it.’ You crawl to your hole, examining your now longer legs. ‘The next time I evolve, if I have enough energy stored up, I shouldn’t need to immediately eat then. That’s good.’

Wait. Hold on.. Is your home-

[Notice; you are now too big to fit in that hole. Suggestion; find a new one.]

‘Dammit! And I spent so much time perfecting it, too!’ Slumping in disappointment, you turn and leave the cavern. ‘Oh, well. I better get moving anyways.’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You froze.

‘Uh, Chiron? What’s up with that pressure?’

[Answer; you are nearing the cave Veldora the Storm Dragon resides.]

You could feel your legs trembling. Will you even be able to stay standing soon? ‘Okay, that’s good to know.. Just have to skirt around this area and we’ll be a-okay! Say, how long has it been since I first got lost?’

[Answer; four weeks. It’s been four days since the Black Serpent attacked, one day since your last evolution, and four hours since you last ate.]

‘O-Oh, thank you,’ You think as you reach your new home. Unlike your last one, it was situated on a nook in a wall. The opening was too wide for you to find a working door, but you made it up with webs surrounding the area. Sure, other monsters might be clued in on your location, but only small baby monsters such as yourself can get through the gaps! And then it’ll be easy pickings! (You’re rather proud of your new home. Your web-making is coming along quite nicely!)

‘So, I think I decided on the Spidey Sense.’ You say, taping a claw on the edge of your cliff home. ‘I think it would be beneficial to have it on at all times as I don’t want a repeat of the Black Serpent. I really don’t wanna die this early in my second life..’

[Would you like to permanently activate the {Skill; Spider’s Sense}? Notice; you will be unable to turn it off afterward.]

‘...Yes.’

[Notice; the {Skill; Spider’s Sense} is now permanently activated. You are now unable to turn it off.]

‘Yay.’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

In another section of the cave systems, deep below the ground, the birth of a new era was beginning with one simple meeting.

‘Wait. Before we do this-’

‘What is it now, Veldora?!’

The dragon raised a claw. ‘I have one last thing I need to impart to you. It’s important.’ The Slime sitting before him tilted his ‘face’ to one side. ‘What is it?’ The dragon cleared his throat. ‘There is something out there, deeper in the caverns, that you need to be wary of. Don’t go too far down if you can help it.’

Humming in confusion, a question mark of slime appeared by the Slime. ‘What do you mean? What’s down there?’

‘It’s been many years since I last felt them, but recently, something has shifted.’ The dragon nodded. ‘Yes, shifted! The Jorogomo clans are preparing for something big! I’d suggest leaving here as soon as possible once we’re done here.’

‘The Jorogomos?’

‘Just be careful.’ The dragon leaned forward, pinning the Slime under an intense gaze. ‘They rule the lower levels of the cave, so if you stay up here, I believe you’ll be just fine.’

The Slime grumbled. ‘But.. What are they?’

His new friend frowned, leaning back to stare somewhere up above him. ‘You know.. I don’t quite remember. They had already dug deep into the earth long before I was imprisoned here. It’s been many centuries since I first met one, and even more since I heard of them. Let’s see.. They have eight legs and eyes, oh, and venom!’

‘..Are you talking about spiders?’ The Slime shuddered. ‘That sounds like spiders.. Or maybe scorpions?’

The dragon shrugged. ‘Well, anyways, that’s all I needed to tell you.’

‘Thanks for the warning!’ The Slime bounced in place. ‘Well, I’m gonna eat you now! It’s time to bust out of that Unlimited Imprisonment!’

Laughing, the dragon eagerly agreed. ‘Let’s do it! I’m sure we’ll be face-to-face again in the near future!’

‘We will! Unique Skill; Predator!’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

A few hours later, you were strolling through the Sealed Cave.

‘Hey Chiron, what are these plants?’ You tap a claw on a leaf of a plant with a white flower.

[Answer; Hipokute Herbs. They are a rare magical herb that can be used in healing potions.]

You tilted your head with a churr and poked it once more. ‘Really? That’s so cool! I guess I should have expected that magic potions would also exist in the same world magic monsters live in. Kinda wish my old home had this; would have made my life better, at least.’

Suddenly, the air pressure from Veldora’s section of the caves lifted.

You grunted, jolting when the sudden pressure change disoriented you. ‘The hell? What just happened?!’

[Notice; Veldora the Storm Dragon has vanished.]

‘...Excuse me.’

[Veldora the Storm Dragon has vanished. The sudden change in air pressure is due to his aura disappearing suddenly.]

You nervously glanced behind you, where the air pressure was thickest. ‘You didn’t say he died...so, that means only one thing.’ You stepped back. ‘Veldora’s free.’

[Correction; no. The Strom Dragon Veldora is still very much imprisoned.]

‘But you said he-?’

[Veldora is still imprisoned.]

Curiosity dug its claws in you, and you slowly took a step forward. ‘So, is it safe? To go and investigate, I mean?’

[Notice; there is a 50% chance of you dying. Suggestion; hide.]

-You watched through the window as the neighborhood kids laughed while they played a game on the street. Coughing, you turned away to grab a tissue. You..kinda wished you could join them.-

-“I’m sorry, I don’t think you can go outside today. It’s much too cold for your fragile immune system. How about we play some games inside?” The nurse smiled at you brightly, holding up a board game. You weren’t in the mood, but the nurse was much too kind for your horrible attitude. So you smiled just as brightly and agreed.-

-You couldn’t even attend your own parents’ funeral. You were too sick. Always hiding inside, away from the rest of the world. From the possibility of death if you did even the smallest thing.-

‘I think,’ You started, paused, and rolled on ahead, ‘I’m going to take that chance.’

And then you cautiously marched towards Veldora’s previous location before Chiron could persuade you otherwise. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You yelped, dodging another attack from the Armorsaurus’ whisker whips. 

‘Okay! This is so not fair!’ You think loudly as the Monstrous Centipede lunges for you. Jumping away with Double Jump, you land on a stalactite and hiss at the two giants. ‘I just wanted to get by with no trouble! Why the hell are you attacking me?!’

You were peacefully skittering through the caverns when these two appeared. The Armorsaurus had been thrown right in front of you by the big ass bug and when you screeched at the sudden surprise, the two turned to you and attacked.

‘Not fair not fair not fair!’ You hiss and jump away again. ‘Chiron! Do I have enough stored energy to get out of here?!’

[Answer; no. At most, you will only be able to run faster with the {Skill; Double Jump} and the {Skill; Food Buff} for a few minutes. They will catch up quickly.]

‘Dammit! Fine!’ Jumping off another stalactite, you land on the back of the centipede and skitter up to its head. ‘This thing has Paralysis Breath, right? That means, if I play my cards right-’ You jumped off the monster and landed on the back of the Armorsarus. 

You clung to the thrashing monster and challengingly clicked your chelicerae at the Monstrous Centipede. ‘Come and get me, bitch!’

The bug reared back with a screech as one of the Armorsaurus’ whisker whips slapped it across the belly and lunged. You jumped away just as it released a puff of smog at your ride, and it fell to the ground in a slump.

You landed nearby and brandished your claws. ‘Nice! Now all I have to do is get rid of that centipede!’

[Would you like to use the {Skill; Sticky Thread}?]

‘Do it!’

Jumping off, you lunged for the bug and skittered around its body. It thrashed around, trying desperately to knock you off, but it only succeeded in entangling itself more in your thread. You wrapped it up nice and tight in the webbing before leaping away and high-tailing it out of the cavern.

‘Alright, by the time that Armorsaurus is free, I should be far enough away from them! Hopefully, they’ll be more focused on each other instead of me.’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

‘So, these gems are important up top?’

You peered at the blue-green crystals before you. They were mesmerizing; the glow they let out lit up everywhere you could see, and the tones of blues and greens shifted with the difference of angles you stared at them with.

[Answer; correct. They are used to forge magisteel, and are extremely rare.]

‘..Are they more valuable than even gold?’

[Answer; yes.]

You backed up from the magic ore. ‘Damn

notes: and we're finally meeting Rimuru! what did you guys think of their first meeting?

stay safe out there, guys! and please remember that you're all AWESOME! XP

.. That’s a lot.’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

A couple of days passed since Veldora’s disappearance.

Even you could feel the tension in the air as the monsters residing in the Sealed Cave grew restless. You’re pretty sure a power struggle would occur soon, and while you would prefer to stay as far away as possible when that occurs, this newly discovered reckless side of you was calling for adventure. 

You wanted to learn the cause of the Storm Dragon’s disappearance, and nothing was going to stop you from satiating your curiosity!

Even that Black Serpent you could see in t

notes: and we're finally meeting Rimuru! what did you guys think of their first meeting?

stay safe out there, guys! and please remember that you're all AWESOME! XP

he distance!

...H-Hold up. Did a Slime just...? Did you really just watch a Slime behead a Black Serpent with a wave of water?!

You flinched back when the Slime expanded and consumed the corpse in a single move. There was nothing left. Your claws clicked against the ground as you slowly stepped back, watching nervously as the Slime started hopping in place. ‘Okay. I think it’s time to leave.’

Then the Slime turned to you, and the two of you stood frozen, watching the other.

‘AND WE’RE RUNNING!’ You turn tail and ran as fast as you could on your eight legs. ‘TINY LEGS DON’T FAIL ME NOW!’

Plop-plop-plop.

Was it coming after you?! You’re pretty sure it’s chasing you!

But, by the time it reached your previous spot, you had already turned down several different tunnels and you weren’t stopping until you were sure that Slime wasn’t right behind you. You’re not dying today!

Finally reaching your little hidey-hole up high, you flopped down with a groan. ‘Jeez, what’s up with that Slime? I don’t think that’s normal..’

[Slimes are low-ranking, unintelligent Monsters. They cannot normally think.]

‘So, do they have skills? What are their normal ones?’ You poke a nearby web strand in boredom, your eight eyes staring straight down for any movement.

[Answer; Slimes normally have the {Skill; Di

notes: and we're finally meeting Rimuru! what did you guys think of their first meeting?

stay safe out there, guys! and please remember that you're all AWESOME! XP

ssolve}, the {Skill; Absorb}, and the {Skill Regeneration}.]

‘Huh. You said, ‘normally’. That implies this Slime is abnormal.’

[Answer; yes.]

You huffed. ‘So I’m probably dead if I run into that thing again. Good to know.’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

If Rimuru had a mouth, he would be grinning victoriously.

‘Aww yes!’ He thought as he hopped up and down. ‘Predator is the bomb dot com! That’s it! I’m gonna acquire ALL the skills!’

And then he turned around to see a giant spider staring at him from down the corridor. He froze. It was at least twice as big as him and completely white. The light glinted off of its sleek exoskeleton, and its eight glowing red eyes bore into him. ‘Uhh, Great Sage? What’s that?’

[Answer; that is a Medium Taratect. It belongs to the Jorogomo Monster species, and is the first of its clan.]

Rimuru perked up. ‘Jorogomo? Isn’t that what Veldora warned me about?’

[Answer; correct.]

‘Then they really are spiders.’ He thought. And then he flinched back when the thing turned and ran away. ‘H-Hey! Wait!’ But it didn’t. Instead, it turned a corner and disappeared from view. He bounced forward, trying his best to catch up.

The Jorogomo had vanished. ‘Almost like a ghost..’ Rimuru shivered. ‘It certainly looked like one, too.’ Sighing, he glanced down the tunnel he had seen it turn down for a moment or two. ‘Hey, Great Sage? Veldora also mentioned that there was more than one clan. How many are there?’

[Answer; the Jorogomo Monster species, commonly known to the world as Giant Spiders, is currently divided into four clans; Obsidian, Bronze, Ruby, and Golden. This one is the very first with its color, signifying the birth of a new clan.]

‘O-Oh. That must be what Veldora meant when he said they were preparing for something..’

Humming, he bounced after it. ‘Maybe, it can help me find the exit! Let’s follow it!’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

‘Why is it so close to my home?!’

You peered down at the Slime bouncing down the tunnel from the safety of the ceiling. Horror washed over you, causing your legs to shake in fear. ‘Is this thing following me?! But I ran away from it just yesterday! How can it still be after me?!’

Just then, you heard a familiar screech and you swore you felt your blood freeze in your veins. 

That was the sound of a Jorogomo Monster. Oh, no. Are you about to watch your kind get eaten by this Slime?! You duck your head just as an Obsidian Jorogomo appears and lunges for the Slime. In the next few seconds, all you could hear was the sound of flesh being sliced through and the heavy thuds of limbs falling to the ground. Peeking once it was all over, you ended up catching the exact moment when the Slime expanded to eat the corpse.

Fear crashed into you at the sight of your brethren piled up in slices. One second you were on the ceiling, and the next you were falling to the ground. You shrieked, flailing.

‘NO NO NO NO! I DON’T WANT TO GO DOWN THERE!!’

Thud!

The wind was knocked out of you and for a split second, you could have sworn you saw your soul leave your body.

Silence greeted you, and you slowly rock to the side to see the Slime staring at you. ‘Oh, shit. Oh, SHIT!’ Shrieking, you scramble to get to your feet only to discover that you were stuck on your back. Your clawed legs waved frantically in the air as you rocked back and forth.

‘NO! GET UP YOU STUPID BODY! WE’RE ABOUT TO GET EATEN!’ If you could cry, you would be sobbing a waterfall right about now.

[Would you like to use {Thought Communication}?]

‘Yes! Do it! Whatever saves my exoskeleton!’

The Slime slithered closer and your cries grew louder. ‘No! Don’t eat me, please! I don’t wanna die so early in my second life!’

It froze. ‘...You mean, you’re..reincarnated, too?’ Your legs stopped flailing as the words sunk in.

The voice had spoken in your head, and your Spidey Sense skill told you that there was no other living creature close enough for Thought Communication. So this Slime was able to think. And if this Slime’s words were true, then that means... Your legs curled up against your belly as shock settled in.

‘I’m not the only one?!’ The Slime wiggled happily in place. ‘We’re not alone! Nice!’

You stared at it for a long moment. The Slime flinched back, its body tilting to the side. ‘Uhh, something the matter? Why are you staring at me like that?’ (Unbeknownst to you, your red eyes started sparkling, almost like you were about to cry.) 

‘I-I’m okay. It’s just...I’m so glad I’m not going to die!’ You let out a loud sob. ‘When I fell, I was sure that I was going to get eaten! Thanks for not eating me!’

‘U-Uh, you’re welcome?’ The Slime moved forward. ‘I’m Rimuru. What’s your name?’

‘I don’t have one right now, but I went by the name (Y/N) in my last life?’

Rimuru bounced once. ‘Well then, it’s nice to meet you (Y/N)! Do you...need some help up?’ You glanced down at your body. Yeah, you weren’t getting up without some outside help.. You turned back up at him, letting out a soft trill. ‘Please?’

notes: and we're finally meeting Rimuru! what did you guys think of their first meeting?

stay safe out there, guys! and please remember that you're all AWESOME! XP

[sanjisboyfie]

๑ keep safe - davy back fight 彡 long ring long land arc begins! (32)

one piece x male reader

the boy with the thorn in his side

behind the hatred there lies,

a murderous desire

for love

『 prev 』

when morning came, the crew had arrived at a very vacant island. of course, luffy, chopper, and usopp were the first to jump at exploring it. and surprisingly, it was [name] that stayed behind with the rest of the crew.

“huh? you’re not gonna go be a dumbass with them?” zoro asked, looking unimpressed as [name] stood on the deck with the rest of the remaining crew.

“there’s not even anything there,” [name] sighed with a pout, “it’s really just land as far as the eye can see as well as long animals that are walking around as if its normal…”

“huh?” the crew echoed, not understanding what [name] was talking about. after all, all they could see was a vast greenscape in front of htem, not any odd, long animals that [name] was talking about.

“trust me, they’re there,” he said with a wave of his hand, “nami, robin, want any coffee?”

”sure!”

“if it wouldn’t be too bothersome,”

“oh, it would never-”

“we don’t have any coffee, idiot,”

sanji’s blunt, cut through words made [name] collapse where he stood with tears streaming down his stoic face.

“yes…that’s right…no coffee…”

“it’s not the end of the world, idiot, quit overreacting,” zoro walked over [name] with a yawn, stepping over his back with not a care in the world. the h/c haired man didn’t seem to care either, the odd form of abuse flying over his head as he was too focused on the fact they had no coffee left.

“what am i supposed to do…”

sanji and nami sighed at his attitude while robin merely found him amusing.

unable to quench his hunger for coffee, or even just coffee beans, [name] felt miserable. as if he were having withdrawls. it made him go back to his hammock and try and force himself back to sleep. unfortunately, he was unable to even close his eyes to rest since he was longing so much for the bitter treat.

he was even shaking where he laid due to the withdrawl he was feeling. thinking that making any hot beverage would be better than just laying down, he changed into more breathable clothes and made his way to the kitchen. a plain black shirt and loose pants were sufficient in keeping him feeling comfortable.

he heated the water over the fire in a tea kettle, waiting impatiently for it to boil. just as he was about to pour the water into his cup, there was a tremendous tremor underneath merry that made him spill the hot water over his skin instead of the teacup. he cursed under his breath, rushing over to the sink and pouring cold water over his tender flesh.

“what the fuck?” he murmured, drying the throbbing part of his hand gently and then stomping onto the deck. when he saw that the rest of the crew was standing on the ground, he went to the front of the railing and yelled, “what the hell was that?!”

“don’t be hasty! all we want is…a showdown!”

a pissed off look was on his face as he heard a loud announcer say over a speaker system. it was as if the person needed to be heard from every corner of the earth from how loud they were. or maybe, [name] was just particularly irritable and wanted nothing but peace and quiet (and coffee).

“who the hell is that.”

“we are the foxy pirates!!”

“and who the hell are the foxy pirates?”

“we are here to challenge you to a davy back fight!!”

[name] looked to the rest of the crew with a sour look on his face. they all shrugged, not knowing what the hell the other people were talking about. but since merry was trapped in between the ship and the island, they had no other choice but to entertain the foxy pirates.

“the fight begins the moment two captains are in agreement. as we speak, our captain is challenging your captain, monkey d. luffy, to battle!”

“challenging? what kind of nonsense is that? if you want a fight, then just start one!”

[name] jumped down off of merry and onto the island, joining robin’s side as he looked up at their “enemy” ship.

“hey, you’ve never heard of a davy back fight?”

“it sounds stupid,” [name] yawned, making sanji kick the back of his head in annoyance.

”you, out of everyone here, should know what a davy back fight is. you’ve been sailing the seas the longest. seriously. it’s not a fight, it’s a pirate game!”

“yes, a game that supposedly arose long ago on “pirate island,” which is said to be a pirate paradise somewhere in the sea. in it, pirates plunder each other for top-notch crew members.”

“pirates plunder each other?!” namii asked in amazement. similar to zoro and [name], she had never heard of a davy back fight before either.

“yes, i’m surprised you’ve never heard about that,” a random crew member shouted from the other ship, “after each match, the winner can take any crew member they want from the opposing team,”

as if it were a sixth sense, [name] felt a hundred pair of eyes on the back of his head.

“it is certainly a surprise to know you weren’t even aware of such a game, cursed orphan,” [name] clicked his tongue in annoyance, standing tall and upright as he faced the other crew. “you have been talked about a lot the past three years since you’ve hit the seas. whenever this game was mentioned, someone would always bring up your name. the fact you had no crew, meant that no one could challenge you to such a game. but now — you’re all up for grabs,”

[name] rolled his eyes in annoyance, “not happening, you shits,”

“oh, but a mere crew mate like you doesn’t get a say in what happens,” they taunted, pointing a finger at him as they smirked, “the choice rests on your captain’s shoulders. and when your captain does say yes and we win that first round, you’re going to be the first one up that we choose to come to our side.

whoever’s chosen must immediately swear loyalty to their new captain! in the name of davy jones, the pirate of the deep!”

“fuck davy jones,” [name] says under his breath as he kicks a stone beneath his foot.

”so…you lose a crew mate?” nami asked for clarification, stiffening when the other crew confirmed that.

“and if no one of interest is on the losing side — then you get to strip the pirate ship of its jolly roger, the pride and life of the ship and crew!”

“so crewmates and pride are on the line. winning with make you stronger, while losing will mean a serious lose,” sanji repeated, biting the cigarette that was in his mouth in an annoyed snarl, “what a vicious game.”

as “proof” that the foxy pirates meant business when stealing crewmates, they brought out a couple of former crewmates of another pirate ship. they were now spewing loyalties to the foxy pirates with no shame, making [name] grimace in disgust.

imagining him having to act or be that way, as a foxy crewmate who looked down on luffy, his previous captain, made him sick to his stomach and angry enough to commit some heinous acts.

“and like it or not, you’re all in the game if your captain so much as nods his head in agreement,”

[name] sighed, wondering if luffy would actually fall into such a trap. now, [name] was all for fun and exciting games to be played — especially when the stakes are high. but things such as trading off crewmates was not anything he found particularly exhilarating. it was a disgusting thought; to treat his friends and companions as commodities in a game.

there was nothing fun or exciting about that. and the more the people on that ship talked about it as if it was, made him more and more angry. if he was really going to be put on that ship, he’d made sure to start some infighting to teach them all a lesson.

“then — if it’s just the captain’s decision, i’ll go run over there and do my best in stopping luffy!!”

nami already took off running, but the sound of two gunshots made her stop in her tracks.

“he’s agreed to it.”

“fine by me.”

“this’ll be interesting.”

“luffy…what the hell.”

the strawhats all gathered together, some shooting each other disappointed looks as they were preparing for the “opening ceremony” of the davy back fight.

in what seemed like a couple of minutes, the foxy pirate crew had built up a miniature town that had yakisoba stands, cotton candy sellers, and a bunch of other things you’d most likely see at a carnival. the strawhats all stood in the back as luffy and some split-head guy were sitting at the stage in the front.

“okay, men! please quiet down as we start the opening ceremony!” a woman with blue hair spoke into the mic. she had an odd mask on her face, but as [name] observed those around him, he realized it must be some costume that the crew has to wear.

“first the only way to take back crewmates, jolly rogers, or anything else is through another davy back fight. second, anyone taken by the winner must sweat loyalty to that ship’s captain immediately! third if your holly roger is taken, you can’t ever display it again !”

sanji came running up to the crew with cotton candy, which he lovely presented to robin and nami. the navigator had her head in her hands as she panicked about their entire situation.

“how can you all be so calm about this?!”

”are you still moping about that?” zoro asked, a tired look on his face.

“hm, i don’t like it either, but what’s done is done. if anything goes awry, we can just kill all of these people and set sail without warning,” [name] nonchalantly said, shrugging his shoulders as if it weren’t a big deal. “it’s an annoying predicament luffy has got us into, but the chances are we are gonna win any game over these bozos.”

chopper and usopp looked at [name], horrified at his confession of mass slaughtering the other crew. zoro and sanj, on the other hand, were nagging him about his reaction.

”don’t you think that’s such an unmanly way to go about this?”

“our pride is on the line here, shit for brains, have you no pride?”

they pulled on each side of his face, stretching his cheeks out as they spat insults of his stupidity and lack of pride as a man that he had. he could only take it with a stoic look on his face, not having the bone to argue further with them.

“should you break these rules you’ll be considered a dishonorable pirate and sent to davy jones’ locker!”

“as if pirates have any sense of honor,” [name]’s bored tone and snide comment made zoro and sanji hit him on the back of his head at the same time. “do you swear to uphold them?”

“i swear!”

“i swear!”

the strawhats all perked up in attention when they saw that things were finally getting set into motion. it seemed that the captain of the foxy pirates was letting luffy choose how many games they would play.

the ravenette looked out into the crowd when nami called out his name. he grinned at the signal they were giving him and nodded his head in understanding. both nami and usopp were standing side by side with their pointer fingers held up, indicating that luffy should pick only one game and then be done with it.

unfortunately, luffy didn’t understand and proudly announced that they would be playing three games. someone from foxy’s crew had joined them in their signal, adding his finger in and making luffy think they meant three games instead of just one.

once they were told that all they had to do now was wait for the game of choice to be announced, luffy came waltzing over to them with a carefree look on his face. within seconds, both nami and usopp were scolding and lecturing him with pissed off looks on their faces.

“hey! you forgot something! write down your rosters and give them to our party organizer! members can participate only twice. once you’ve chosen your roster, it’s set in stone!”

a paper was thrown at zoro, who calmly picked it up.

he read the information off, as the rest of the crew gathered. “the events of the contest are: a race, a ball game, and a team competition.”

“what vague wording,” [name] said, glaring at the words on the paper.

”what’s this? a race is open to all members, the ball game is open to three, and the team competition is open to five,” sanji added in, seeing the small notes that were added underneath each game.

“all right! i’m gonna do all three!” luffy said, obviously having not listened to the announcer earlier.

“you can only participate two times, lu,” [name] softly informed the man, rubbing up and down his back, “so you can’t do all three games.”

luffy pouted at the reiterated information, leaning into [name]’s torso with an upset look on his face.

after some sulking and strategic talk, the straw hats were able to decide who would participate when. since the race battle was open to all members, they only had to choose for the second and third game. [name] volunteered himself for the second game, which the others had no problem with. sanji and zoro were next to put down their names for that one — showing some obvious competitive spirit (even though [name] would be on their team). and he decided not to participate in the last one, leaving it to the made team of: robin, nami, usopp, and luffy.

he smirked in interest, finally starting to feel excited about the games rather than annoyed. there was no way he was going to let the strawhats end this game without all their crew members anyway, so he supposed he might as well enjoy it for what it was.

a good opportunity to humble the rookie fodder that were the foxy pirates.

the announcer read their roster with enthusiasm, setting everyone off to prepare for the first game. they gave everyone participating free access to some barrels, encouraging them to break it apart to use as materials for their boat race.

“how should we team up?”

“since some of us are devil fruit users, maybe we should split into two teams of three and four people…” sanji said in thought, taking into account that their race was going to be over the sea water.

[name] hummed in interest, looking at the barrels that were on the stage, “i’ll go solo.”

“hah? why?” nami asked, an unsure look on her face.

“i have an idea, requires only me to execute it. sorry, nami, you won’t be riding with me today,” he teased, going to pinch her cheek, but was immediately slapped away by her own hand and sanji’s.

after a hard glare coming from the navigator, he departed to grab everyone their barrels. he took as many as he could, balancing them in his hold before dropping them onto the ground for all of them to use. he only required one, so it left the rest of the crew with a lot to work with. he took a seat not too far from everyone else, but a good distance away so that he could focus without getting distracted.

but he didn’t mind company, which is why he welcomed usopp’s figure walking towards him with a genuine smile.

“so what are you planning on making, [name]?” usopp asked in curiousity. he peered over [name]’s shoulder with the said man turning his head so he could properly look at usopp as he answered. he didn’t even flinch when his cheek pressed against usopp’s nose since they were that close to one another.

“surfboard!” was his only response, grinning ear to ear and then turning back to his handy work, “if all goes well, this should be an easy win. but if not, i can’t promise i won’t pass out from exhaustion,”

usopp fell onto [name]’s back at that answer, moaning and groaning in a panic, “what if we end up losing [name]? what if we end up getting one of us taken away?!”

”i wouldn’t worry about that, usopp,” [name] comforted the poor man, patting up and down his arm to soothe him, “this is just the first of three games — besides, i’m in the second round as well, so hopefully we can just win whoever we lost back with no problems!”

usopp looked at [name] with hope in his eyes, comedic tears brimming in his round eyes, “do you really have that much faith, [name]? how heartwarming to know you’re so confident in all of our abilities!”

“of course i would be,” [name] laughed, ruffling usopp’s hair and pressing down on his head as if he were a kid, “now you should get to building — your team is counting on you!”

the sniper, with a new sense of confidence and hope, nodded and went off to robin and nami to build their boat together.

[name] hummed as he worked, wiping the sweat off from his forehead as he worked on flattening out the barrel planks. he was beginning to feel hot from working so hard on his “boat” that he turned around to luffy and sanji, beginning to whine, “sanji!!! i’m thirsty, give me water!”

the chef’s brow quirked up in annoyance at the whiney tone [name] had, “what the fuck do i look like to you?! an errand boy?! get yourself some water, dipshit!”

“hey, i asked so nicely and that’s how you respond? how rude of you, sanji, how rude,”

“i could have said much worse, would you like me to?!”

“no, asshole,” [name] muttered the last bit to himself, beginning to stand up and get himself his own water. but just as he was about to turn around from his surfboard, someone bumped into him. they were so close to him, it was as if they were standing behind him when he was sitting down.

he looked down to get a proper look at them, quirking his eyebrow up in intrigue when he recognized that they were a foxy pirate crew member. she had long blonde hair, looking up at him with a blush set on her cheeks.

“hello…?”

“oh! i heard you were thirsty, so i got you a water bottle, [name]!”

he looked at the women before shaking his head, “i’m alright, thanks,” he didn’t want to blatantly accuse her of trying to poison him, but there was no doubt in his mind that that was exactly what she was doing.

why else would someone from the enemy team come over to him?

“are you sure? you look a bit hot,” she said, raising a hand to press against his forehead. he stopped her immediately, gently grabbing her wrist and guiding it back down to her side.

“thank you for the offer, but i’m alright. i’ll just go get my own water,” he awkwardly smiled at her before running off, leaving her there astounded at his behavior. then she huffed in annoyance that she wasn’t able to give him the water that she actually didn’t do anything to (really, she didn’t — the cap was still sealed and everything). she just wanted to show him a nice gesture — and see him up close.

but that annoyed expression on her face was wiped off almost immediately as she daydreamed about what he did look like up close. the blush that was on her cheeks before returned and she almost covered her face with her hands to calm herself.

meanwhile, the straw hats were watching from the side with confused looks on their faces.

“what was that.” nami asked, face scrunched up in genuine confusion. there was no way that was what she thinks it was. and if it was — seriously? [name] of all people? she shuddered at the thought.

“don’t know, that was weird, though!” luffy exclaimed, eyes blown wide as he watched the mystery woman run off with her head down and hiding from their watchful eyes. “if i was [name], i would’ve taken it…it’s free water anyway,”

on the other hand, sanji was sulking in the corner, drawing mindless shapes into the grass as a shadow of sadness and forlorn was hanging around him. it was as if a thunder cloud was hovering above his head with how sad and pathetic he looked.

in a couple of minutes, [name] returned with some refreshments for him and the rest of the crew. and it took him longer than he realized to get the drinks because the moment they finished their drinks, the announcer said that it was time for the race to start.

[name] wiped his forehead of sweat one last time before he picked up his surfboard. it wasn’t as sturdy as he wished for it to be, but hopefully it would still get the job done.

everyone got dropped into the water, the strawhats sticking close to one another as they entered the field with the enemy surrounding them. [name] took a seat on his surfboard, looking around as more people entered the water.

“oh! the odds are finally in! i’ll listen them in order of popularity, starting with the most popular,” [name] sweatdropped at the idea of people voting on a popularity pole, what odd timing for such a thing. “the top spot obviously is going to the member of the powerful team foxy: porche-chan!” a woman with a pointy nose and long blue hair was standing on top of her boat, waving her arms in the air as she looked at her “fans” on shore.

it was obvious she was a favorite for her cute looks and personality with how loud the men on the sidelines were cheering for her.

“ooh! just leave it to me!” she exclaimed as she blew kisses into the crowd, which only made them cheer louder.

“second most popualr is…oh!! this is unexpected! the straw hat team of navigator nami, sniper usopp, and archeologist robin! they’ll be riding the barrel tiger!”

[name] cheered for his team, screaming and clapping his hands for them. this only made nami splash him with water using her paddle, putting her head down in fear and shame. he could only guess that her thoughts were going a mile a minute since she assumed that the foxy pirates would probably be taking her first when they win since she’s the cutest. [name] smiled at her funny reaction, turning back to the announcer to hear more.

“third most popular is…oh! another surprise! the strawhat team’s solo rider, [name]!!” the man blinked in shock, looking to the announcer to make sure he was hearing right, “oh, with such a cool boat, there’s no wonder he’s got many fans. a man of confidence, he is! what mysterious power will he use to try winning?!”

“not try — i am going to,” [name] huffed in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his head to the side so he wouldn’t have to look at the cheesy announcer.

“that attitude! isn’t it just to die for, ladies?!”

[name] flinched at the sudden question, but his jaw really dropped when he heard a high chorus of agreement come from the crowd. the previous “front row” men were replaced with just as many women, who came forward and were shamelessly showing their support for him.

“win the race, [name]! we bet you’ll look really good while you do it, too!!”

“i’m your number 1 supporter!”

“oh, i hope he loses so he can join us!”

“good thinking, me too, me too!!”

the straw hats, minus sanji — who was once again sulking, all sweatdropped at the sudden attention [name] was getting. they were shocked that it was even a positive encouragement coming from the foxy pirates.

“please, don’t cheer for me,” [name] said in a serious tone, looking at the girls with a blank stare, “i don’t even know why you would…”

“telling me not to cheer will only make me cheer louder!”

[name] grimaced.

“because you’re the strongest, [name]!”

that made him put on a prideful grin, for a split second.

“because you’re the coolest and most handsome, [name]!”

a blank stare was shot towards the women who shouted that.

“now, now, let’s get settled, ladies! the rest of the popularity poll must be read!” the commentator lightly scolded, making the women in the front row quiet down, but still shoot [name] their heart eyes and dreamy smiles.

he shifted where he sat, pretending to not notice them.

“next is the harem nocturne, a boat of the beautiful, by the beautiful, for the beautiful!” a couple of the women on board that boat winked at [name] when they noticed him staring in wonder, “in fourth place is the crab crane, a regular in the top ranks! in fifth and sixth place, the swordfish king #1 and #2!! seventh most popular is the party-loving pleasure boat! in eighth place, the duke special!”

it seemed that the other strawhats weren’t even worthy of being read off, not until luffy incited an explanation. and with that, they learned that they weren’t even the last on the list, but someone from foxy’s crew that had an inhumanely large barrel boat set up.

and with the introduction of all the teams, everyone watching was getting hyped up and ready for the race.

“crush them, porche-chan!!”

“we’re cheering for you, handsome [name]!!”

”that’s a lil overboard…”

“we hope you sink, long-nose!”

“me?!”

with the firing of the gun, everyone was quick to steer ahead. [name] used his makeshift paddle for now, standing on top of his surfboard and balancing himself to make sure that he didn’t fall.

he grit his teeth, seeing that from the largest ship, a bunch of other barrels had been thrown into the sea. when nami had poked the barrel with her oar, a sudden explosion was set off, making [name] still and turn behind him in worry.

seeing that their boat was shot straight up into the air, he quickly let the water spurt up underneath them and catch them before they could crash down and do more damage to their boat. it was as if the sea turned into a fountain for a split second with how instant the reaction was.

“are you all okay?!”

“we’re fine, thanks [name] for saving us,” he nodded stiffly, shouting at them to be sure that they avoided the rest of the barrels.

“that’s impossible! they’re completely surrounding us!”

“hand me that oar, chopper, i can take care of it,” zoro commanded and the doctor didn’t waste a second before complying.

in a couple of seconds, all of the explosive barrels that were surrounding them had be pushed back to where they came from. and before the rest of them knew it, a tremendous wave had resulted from the explosion.

seeing it as the perfect opportunity, [name] threw the oar aside and stood tall and ready for the wave to hit.

“asshole, you better use this chance for good and send us into first place!!” zoro shouted, seeing the plan practically painted on [name]’s face. the devilish smirk and confident fire in his eyes, he was easy to read in that moment.

“just sit back and enjoy the show, idiot marimo!” [name] shouted in return, watching the gigantic wave only get bigger and bigger.

he began paddling with his arms before popping up onto his feet, keeping a steady balance. within seconds, he was being put into first place as the wave he was riding did all of the hard work for him.

“we’re happily watching and enjoying, [name]!” the same “fanclub” that made itself known earlier screamed, practical hearts in their eyes. he ignored their cries, focusing on staying balanced and standing upright.

with the water now dousing his clothes and hair, he was completely drenched in sea water. he smirked at the cool feeling, a drastic difference to his warm body heat. it was the perfect balance of temperature that gave him a shot of dopamine.

“perfect,” he leaned down, touching the wave underneath his barrel surfboard. then he stood up and his posture turned relaxed, hands on his hips as he steadily guided his surfboard straight ahead.

“i’m in first place~”

if anyone thought about it for even just a second, they’d have realized that this was the perfect race for [name]. but, obviously, only if you had known the one major factor: [name] had the ability to manipulate water, including saltwater, even if only for a short while. riding atop of such a simple, but easily maneuverable boat/surfboard made for a perfect vessel in the conditions.

and not a single soul in the grand line knew of this ability, which made it the perfect opportunity to twist this in the straw hat’s favor. it explained why the confident smirk on his face didn’t falter for even a second.

-

[ .ᐟ ]  i cant believe that this is a real arc and not just filler……

-

taglist (lmk if u want to be tagged ! <3 : ty to the persoin in the replise that helped me out with this issue, however, those with the ** marked i still cant properly tag them :(( their accoutns wont show up when i type the username, but for the ones marked without ** the accounts showed up perfectly fine :// im rlly confused on why its doing thissss ughhhh

@skullr0se @strawberrii-tea @triangulartriangles @anotherlovefool

@sinmp @taru-nami @disc0dild0s @boredwithlifeatthispoint

@whotdefak @zforgottensniper @lunarapple @softi-911 @softhanyu

@coca-cola-fiend @chibiduck

@violentlynerdy **

@kaulitzer **

@3v33373 **

@notplutos **

@cheetosins **

@lcst-at5ea **

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[montammil]

Forever Be Mine, part 5

Didn't proofread this one and might regret it lol. If I need to put any more warnings let me know!

Masterlist here!

CW: Attempted noncon, yandere/creepy whumper, physical violence, food

...

A week passed and Sawyer hadn't tried escaping again. He followed Rowan around the house obediently, barely even speaking a word to him. Rowan could tell he was still miserable, but at least he wasn't attempting to run away anymore. And that was an improvement, in Rowan's opinion.

They had eaten dinner earlier, a stew made with vegetables from Rowan's garden. Sawyer hadn't spoken the entire meal, only offering a few grunts in response to the conversation.

He wasn't interested in chatting, and Rowan figured he could play along with that for now. Sawyer seemed too depressed to do anything other than follow him around and stare at the ground.

It made Rowan sad seeing him like this, but he knew it was necessary for both of them to adjust to their new life together. As long as Sawyer stayed, eventually he would grow used to it.

And if he didn't... well, that would be unfortunate for him. Rowan wouldn't hesitate to punish him again.

He didn't want to have to resort to that, but he would if necessary. Sawyer needed to learn how things were going to be from now on. Rowan wasn't going to let anyone take him away ever again, no matter what he had to do to keep him safe and sound here with him.

"My love," Rowan spoke, placing his hand atop Sawyer's own resting on the table. "Talk to me. Please?"

Sawyer slowly looked up from his plate and met his gaze. "About what?"

He smiled fondly at him, stroking his knuckles with a thumb. "Anything at all. Whatever comes to mind." Sawyer avoided eye contact, fidgeting nervously with his fork in his other hand. "Tell me something I don't know about you." He doubted there was anything he didn't know about Sawyer by now, but he wanted to hear him speak anyway.

"I dunno," Sawyer mumbled. "What do you want to know?"

He hummed thoughtfully, trying to think of any questions he could ask. "How'd you get into singing?"

Sawyer didn't respond right away. He just stared blankly at him with no emotion in his eyes whatsoever. "I just always liked it," he mumbled eventually. "I started singing in school choirs and stuff like that when I was little. My friend then invited me to sing in his band when I was around seventeen." Sawyer looked back down at his food, poking it with his fork idly. "I guess it just kinda went from there."

Rowan squeezed his hand. "How were you like when you were younger?"

Though Sawyer hated meaningless questions about his personal life, Rowan was his only source of human interaction here in this hellscape.

So he relented. "I was intimidating when I was younger. Since I was always quiet and had a resting bitch face, most people avoided me. I learned how to act 'normal' in senior year."

He cocked his head curiously. "Why?"

Sawyer huffed in annoyance. "Because no one likes me unless I do."

Rowan frowned. "I like you."

"Yeah, 'cause you're nuts."

He scoffed. "Well thank you so much for that lovely compliment." He was surprised when Sawyer laughed, albeit quietly. But it was a laugh nonetheless, which brought a smile to Rowan's face as well. "For the record, I wasn't the most popular person growing up either. I was seen as quite the nerd in school. I always got straight A's and was much more timid than I am now."

Sawyer snorted. "I can't imagine that. Well, maybe the nerd part."

He couldn't help but laugh along with him. "I'm not always this talkative, trust me." He propped his head on a hand and stared at Sawyer, unable to look away from him even if he tried. "But it's different with you." Sawyer glanced up from his plate with narrowed eyes, but Rowan continued smiling warmly at him regardless of the glare being directed at him. "When we're together, I just feel so comfortable around you, like we were meant to be."

The shorter man's smile fell into a frown. "I hate to break it to you, but I don't feel that way."

"Well, give it time." Rowan finished the last spoonful of stew and placed the dish in the sink. "Once you realize we belong together, we can truly start our lives." Sawyer only grunted in response. "Don't worry, my love. I know you're a romantic at heart."

Rowan walked over to him and held out a hand, helping him out of his chair. He guided him upstairs and into the bedroom, where Sawyer silently crawled into bed while Rowan changed into his nightwear.

He snuggled up next to him, draping an arm over Sawyer's waist and burying his face into his neck. "You smell so nice," he murmured against his skin, planting kisses up and down his throat and shoulder blade. "And you're so soft." His hand roamed across his body, feeling the fabric of his shirt under his fingertips. "I'm so lucky to have you."

"Okay," Sawyer mumbled in annoyance as he tried wiggling out of his grip, "that's enough, you can stop."

Rowan ignored him and continued kissing his neck. He snaked his hand under Sawyer's shirt and caressed his belly with a thumb. Sawyer flinched away at the touch and made a small noise of discomfort.

Sawyer clenched his jaw. "I'm tired, Rowan."

He finally managed to pull himself free and rolled onto his side, facing away from him. Rowan scowled at being rejected, but didn't attempt to force the issue.

Instead, he pulled Sawyer close and spooned him from behind. He took the smaller man's hand in his own and intertwined their fingers together, bringing them to his lips and kissing every knuckle.

It was infuriating how affectionate Rowan was all the time. Sawyer had never met anyone who could be so clingy and touchy-feely twenty-four-seven without feeling drained after a few hours of it.

Just as Sawyer was drifting off, a loud boom of thunder made him jolt.

Rowan chuckled quietly behind him. "Are you scared of storms?" Sawyer didn't answer him and instead remained frozen in place. He felt Rowan lean over and press a kiss against the back of his head. "Don't worry. I'm here to protect you from any danger." Sawyer shivered at those words and could practically feel Rowan smirking behind him. "I'll always keep you safe. Even if it means fighting nature itself."

"I'm not afraid of storms," Sawyer grumbled defensively, "I just don't like sudden loud noises."

He snickered. "Sure."

Lightning flashed through the curtains followed by another clap of thunder. Sawyer shut his eyes tightly and clutched the pillow in his fists as tightly as possible.

Rowan coaxed Sawyer to roll back over to face him and brought his head to his chest. Sawyer listened to the rhythmic beating of his heart. He'd never admit it actually was pretty soothing.

"I'm not scared," Sawyer reiterated.

Rowan's hand rubbed his back in circles. "I know you aren't." Sawyer figured that was sarcasm. Another bolt of lightning filled the room in white light followed by another crack of thunder. He instinctively buried his face deeper into Rowan's chest and held onto his shirt tightly. "Shh, it's okay."

Next thing Sawyer knew, Rowan pulled the blanket to cover both of them, so the burst of white that filled the room was less overwhelming.

Sawyer's breathing slowed down after a couple minutes of being comforted by Rowan. The thunder and lightning outside wasn't bothering him anymore; it was only a mild inconvenience at this point.

...

Rowan was busy in the kitchen cooking lunch while Sawyer was washing up the dishes from their breakfast that morning. He finished drying the last plate and set it aside before grabbing a washcloth to wipe off the countertops. Rowan glanced over his shoulder and smiled at him.

"Thanks for your help today, my love," Rowan hummed.

Sawyer sighed, "yeah, whatever."

He was too tired to argue anymore with him. Anytime he would try, Rowan would silence him with a kiss or ignore him.

He felt like nothing more than an object to him these days, though he doubted there was any way to change that, so Sawyer just tried to remain patient and wait it out until he'd somehow manage to escape without a trace.

Rowan added spices to the pot and set the spoon aside. "Have you ever been fishing before?" Sawyer shrugged, setting down the washcloth and crossing his arms over his chest. "No? Well, I'll teach you if you want."

Sawyer watched Rowan drain the noodles from the water into the strainer before pouring them into two bowls. He poured marinara sauce on top and sprinkled parmesan cheese on each bowl.

"Here." Rowan placed one bowl down on the table and motioned for Sawyer to sit down beside him. He hesitated for a moment before obeying.

"It's ziti," Rowan explained, stirring his own pasta with a fork.

"I know what ziti is," Sawyer grunted and copied him by mixing his food too.

After lunch, Sawyer insisted he wanted to be alone and not follow Rowan around for once, which he reluctantly allowed him to have privacy in exchange for a kiss. The moment Rowan left the room, Sawyer rubbed at his mouth with disgust. He walked up to the bedroom and flopped on the bed face down. He laid there in silence for several minutes, unable to think clearly with all these thoughts racing through his mind.

It didn't take long for his exhaustion to catch up with him and lull him into sleep.

Sawyer wasn't sure how long he'd been out when he woke up to the feeling of lips on his neck and hands on his waist. Rowan was straddling him, pressing kisses across his neck and collarbone.

"I'm sorry for waking you, sweetheart," Rowan spoke softly. "You were making such adorable sounds while sleeping. I couldn't help myself." Sawyer tried sitting up, but Rowan forced him back down by pushing on his shoulders. "Stay," he growled low in his ear, sending shivers down Sawyer's spine. "I'm not done with you yet."

"Get off of me," Sawyer tried ordering.

Rowan tightened his grip on him until it became painful. "No," he replied firmly. "I'm tired of you pushing me away every time I try getting close." His hand found itself to the waistband of Sawyer's pants, dipping under the hem and exploring what was underneath. "Please just let me have this. I've been so patient with you."

Never had Rowan ever been this forceful. In a moment of panic, Sawyer punched him harder than he intended.

He only realized what he had done when he saw blood dripping from Rowan's nose as he released him in shock. He stumbled backwards off the bed, holding his bleeding nose. Sawyer watched with wide eyes.

"You're a fucking brat, you know that?" Rowan hissed through gritted teeth. Sawyer was frozen in fear, unable to move or speak in response.

Rowan yanked him off the bed and dragged him down the stairs. Sawyer clawed at his wrists futilely to no avail. Rowan seemed too angry to care. They stopped in front of the basement.

"No! No, stop, not there!" Sawyer had never heard his voice so raw with emotion before. "Please! I'm sorry!" He kicked and struggled wildly against Rowan's hold on him.

To his surprise, Rowan heard him out. He dragged him past to the basement, but Sawyer had no time to feel relief when he realized Rowan was leading him to the front door. Rowan pulled something from his pocket and opened it, revealing a key ring with at least two dozen keys on it. He unlocked the front door, and then proceeded to drag him through the snow and to the shed.

He shoved him inside and grabbed some rope off the wall, tying his ankles together along with both wrists behind his back. Sawyer writhed on the ground in agony as the ropes dug painfully into his flesh.

"Rowan," Sawyer whimpered weakly. "I'm sorry." He was already shivering from the cold, his thin pajamas providing little warmth against the bitter chill of winter outside. "I didn't mean to hit you."

"You should've thought about that before you did it," Rowan snapped. "But if you want space so badly, I'll do you a favor and give you it. You can stay out here for a night or two until you come to your senses." He marched back to the door and paused. "I'll come back with a blanket soon." Then slammed it shut behind him, leaving Sawyer alone in complete darkness.

It was freezing outside and Sawyer didn't even have a jacket on to keep him warm. He whimpered pitifully and tried rubbing his legs together to generate any semblance of heat at all, but all it did was rub the rope further into his skin.

All he could do now was wait helplessly until Rowan would return with something warmer. If he'd return at all.

Sawyer could hear the wind blowing against the shed's wooden walls, causing creaks and groans everywhere throughout the room. He wasn't sure how long it had been since Rowan left.

It could've been seconds or minutes or even hours by now. Every second felt like an eternity alone in the dark. Sawyer couldn't see anything around him, and all he could focus on was the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.

Eventually he began shivering uncontrollably as the cold air seeped through his skin, freezing every inch of his body. He curled up on his side, trying desperately to conserve body heat and prevent hypothermia from setting in too fast.

Time passed and Sawyer continued shivering in silence until he heard footsteps outside the shed.

Rowan swung open the door and carried a lantern inside, illuminating the room in dim orange light. Sawyer's eyes stung from the sudden brightness flooding his vision after being in the pitch black for so long.

"Hey, darling." Rowan's voice sounded apologetic as he walked over to where Sawyer was lying on the ground and knelt down beside him. "I brought you a blanket and some soup to warm you up." He set aside the soup and draped the large amber blanket around Sawyer's trembling frame, tucking it under him to provide maximum insulation against the frigid air around them. "Can you sit up?"

Sawyer nodded and struggled to lift himself upright against the wall. Rowan helped him into a sitting position and sat in front of him with the soup in his lap.

He noticed Rowan's face was bruised from where he punched him. He didn't feel guilty about it though. If anything, it made Sawyer happy that he'd at least had hurt him a little bit before he got thrown into this damn shed like an animal.

Rowan pulled out a spoon from his coat pocket and dipped it into the soup, holding it out for Sawyer to eat from.

Sawyer leaned forward and took a sip from the spoon. The broth was still hot, warming his insides instantly and helping to soothe his aching muscles and bones.

"Thank you," Sawyer mumbled as Rowan fed him another spoonful. "I'm sorry I hit you." He figured that's what Rowan wanted, an apology. "I just panicked. I wasn't thinking."

"Oh, precious, I know that." He pressed a kiss against his forehead and wiped away tears from his cheek with a thumb. "I shouldn't have done what I did either. You've been through a lot lately and I've just been so stressed from it all. I need to be more patient with you."

"Does that mean I can come out?" Sawyer asked hopefully.

"No." The shorter man's expression fell. "You still hit me, and that hurt me." Rowan pouted and cupped his cheeks. "You're going to stay here for a little while longer and think about what you did. Once I think you've learned your lesson, then we'll talk again." He pulled away and stood up from the floor, dusting off his pants. "I'll leave the lantern here for you. If you need anything else, just yell."

And with that, he left and closed the door behind him again, plunging Sawyer into darkness once more.

[b3llasdears]

devoted woman

Leonidas x fem! Reader who worships apollo

I've had this idea for a long time and I found it entertaining so here I am writing

English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

warning ⚠️ some touches at the end

You and Leo had been married for a while, your marriage was perfect, you two loved each other, the two helped each other with the affairs of Sparta, and you two loved spending time together to relax when you could! truly the perfect couple

Well, you two just had a little, little problem.

Since you were raised by a normal Spartan family, from a very young age it was instilled in you to be devoted to Apollo. and we all know what our king thinks about "that bastard" (his words, not mine)

You had just woken up, feeling how your husband was hugging you from behind. "what a beautiful day" you thought, being able to see the reflection of the sun from where you were.

You were about to get out of bed to look out the window, and thank Apollo for showing the sun to Sparta once again. You had already sat on the bed, but your husband's arm was still gripping your hip, and when you went to stand up, you felt his grip become stronger.

"Leo, my love, I have to go get ready, we have things to do today" You said, trying to move your husband's arm, but he refused to let go. "your going to go pray to that idiot again" your husband said, trying to get you to go back to bed.

"leo, let go of me" You said, already sounding somewhat irritated, as you tried again to get your husband to let you go. "No" said the king, pulling you hard this time and making you fall back onto the bed to hug you again

"I told you to let me go!" You began to shake and kick trying to get your husband to let go of you, but it was all in vain, since Compared to your king you were like porcelain. but hey! you were very smart!

Too bad that didn't help you much now.

The king's grip became a little stronger, and he pressed his mouth to your ear to speak. "My queen, if you don't stop shaking those pretty legs of your's, I'm going to make sure they end up shaking for 'something else', understood?" You stopped moving immediately, clearly nervous

"Good," said the king, settling down, still holding you in his strong arms. You didn't move, partly because you were in shock, and partly because you were thinking about how to get out of your husband's arms.

Unfortunately for you, lying in bed in your husband's strong, warm arms made you sleepy, and you ended up falling back asleep.

You and Leonidas were late for a meeting, and you didn't have time to go pray to Apollo, being pretty easy for you to see how happy your husband was.

or in short, leonidas 1, you 0

You were walking through the streets of Sparta, you and your husband had already left the meeting a while ago, so before going to do some things you had pending, you decided to go for a walk.

While you were walking you saw a bunch of flowers "I could take some and leave them on the statue of lord Apollo." You thought, bending down and taking several flowers, making a small bouquet.

"Everything ready" you thought, as you were about to go leave the flowers and then go do your chores. but suddenly, you heard a very familiar voice. "Hey kids, the beautiful queen (name) picked up some flowers for you to put in her hair! Isn't she the sweetest?" You looked at your husband with an annoyed face, making him laugh a little.

The children quickly approached you, wanting to comb your hair, and you were simply unable to say no, so you sat on the grass letting the children begin to comb your hair and place the flowers in it

Your husband watched from afar, laughing at how the children put your hair in two pigtails, one being higher than the other.

"You look beautiful sweetheart" said Leonidas in a mocking tone when the children finished combing your hair and you approached him "I hate you" you said irritated "I love you too (name)" He said and then planted a kiss on your lips and left, leaving you to remove your pigtails and the probably 8 knots you now had.

leonidas 2, you 0

finally! Leonidas had been called to resolve some things leaving you alone, which meant that you could finally pray in peace.

You were walking calmly, you had already gone to pick some flowers, making a bouquet like before, but this time without it ending up in your hair.

It didn't take you long to get to the temple of Apollo, where you left the flowers in front of his statue and knelt down thanking the god for showing the sun to your people once again

"finally" you thought letting out a sigh, you were calmly getting up, thinking about going to the room you shared with your husband to read, waiting for his return.

suddenly, you heard the sound of something creaking

you slowly turned around, already knowing what your destiny was. And as you expected, behind you, at the entrance to the temple, was your husband standing, gripping the wall tightly causing it to crack

"h-hello my love" You said stuttering, clearly nervous.

"(name), my love, I thought we already talked about this ." The king tried not to sound upset, clearly not being good at it.

You didn't say anything, not knowing what to do "from what I see you didn't listen well, it's better we go to our room to talk more calmly." Yeaaa, no, you appreciate your ability to walk

you quickly turned around and ran away "hey!" Leonidas ran after you, you two ran around the statue of Apollo, and then you ran out of the temple to your castle

You managed to leave Leo a little behind, and as you ran you passed two maids and stopped "Don't tell him where I'm going!" you quickly continued running, leaving the two maids confused

quickly you went down one of the two hallways, and when you left, Leonidas arrived stopping to see the two hallways

Leonidas noticed the two maids, who had already understood what you were referring to.

"Which hallway did she go to?" said the king "she went to the right hallway" said one of the maids "yes, she looked tired" said the other

"oh really?" The king was not convinced, and approached the maids "My king, why would we lie to you?" said the first servant, while the other nodded

The king sighed and then he looked at the two maids

"If you're telling me the truth, you both have the day off."

"She went down the left hallway, she looked tired, so she probably stopped there to rest"

"Thank you, you can go."

The two quickly ran away happily, and the king continued on his way, hoping that the maids were right and you were resting

and unfortunately for you, they were right, since you were leaning against a wall trying to catch your breath

The journey from the temple to your castle was not short, and you had done it all running, you literally felt like you were going to faint right there.

it took you a while to notice that your husband was approaching, and when you noticed you tried to keep running, but your husband grabbed your arm and turned you around to then throw you over his shoulder.

The king turned around and started walking towards his room, making you nervous remembering what he had told you in the morning. you started kicking and hitting your king's back, trying to get him to put you down

"L-Leo are we actually going to talk about- ah!" You suddenly let out a moan when you felt your husband spanking you

"What do you think, sweetheart?" That was all the answer you needed.

As soon as he entered the room he threw you on the bed and got on top of you. kissing you, and passing his hand over your thigh, massaging it

"L-Leo..." you were trying to catch your breath, feeling how your husband brought his hand closer to your core, which was hot and wet

"I warned you, so don't complain" The king kissed you again, passing his hand through your underwear and tearing it "put on another one later" He said starting to massage your center, making you moan.

You were already starting to lose control, you tried not to moan too loudly but it was impossible, Your husband just made you feel too good.

and obviously you weren't the only one, your king was desperate to be inside you, but he didn't want to hurt you, so he would have to use his fingers in the meantime.

It wasn't long before night, so let's hope Leo doesn't keep you there until too late.

But in other words:

Leonidas 3, you 0 ❤️

wooo, this is the first time I've written something like this, I think I did it pretty well

and to think that I wrote it all with the translator on my keyboard

I will probably write more about Leo (mostly about Leo, but I may also write about Thor, or Hercules)

[directactionforhope]

Actually, making a bunch of assumptions about someone based on how/when they sleep is ableist, and also often classist, and I'm respectfully serious about this, as someone officially diagnosed with a severe sleep disorder (not that I'm anti self-dx in any way but yes, I do have an official diagnosis and am in the range classified as "severe")

Because of my sleep disorder (and more recently one of my jobs), I work nights. Night shift jobs are almost - if not actually - exclusively working class jobs (though I'm not going to go into class issues because I feel far less qualified to speak on them).

But sleep habits are so, so conflated with morality, work ethic, and even competence and intelligence in mainstream US culture.

(I blame in large part the Puritans. Having a culture founded by the remnants of a strict and fundamentalist religious sect will do that to you.)

Things that people (including my clients and my coworkers), have done or assumed about me because of my sleep disorder:

Went to HR and told them I was skiving off at least two hours of work every single day (I wasn't, I was staying two to three hours late every single day to make up the hours, because I had an accommodation from my boss. I was almost always the one to lock up the office. I ended up in a meeting with HR who didn't even bother to check with my boss first and ask anything related to the literally abundant proof I was working late)

I later learned multiple people were talking about it behind my back, so for all I know like half my coworkers believed/suspected that about me

That I'm lazy

That I'm not in control of my life

That I'm disorganized

Kept forgetting/Refused to believe me that I just wasn't trying hard enough to keep a normal sleep schedule, until I found studies showing that trying to keep a ""normal"" sleep schedule with my level of severity had a 100% long-term failure rate

Required me to tell almost all of my repeat/regular clients details of my medical history to avoid them making a ton of assumptions when I send work messages/emails/project submissions at 4 in the morning (unfortunately several of the platforms I use professionally don't have any kind of message scheduling add-on or feature)

Lost out on jobs because I was unable to reply soon enough (this morning I may have literally missed out on an interview slot because I didn't reply to a message by the end of the workday)

Was unable to go to the bank/post office/grocery store/dmv/other time-sensitive errand for days at a time due to my sleep (and work) schedule during open hours

Real difficulty texting with new people because 2/3rds of my regular waking hours are considered a Loaded or Extremely Weird time to text someone, and sometimes spoons don't appear at convenient times of day

Constantly late to school when I was younger, sometimes in trouble for it

That I don't care about my family/family events when I struggle to do a whole week of vacation on 2-4 hours of sleep

A lot of this has gotten better since there's been more research on my sleep disorder (delayed sleep phase disorder) and I've been able to educate my family and explain things to my friends, and as disability/accessibility concerns/awareness have grown a lot over the last two decades

And I'm extremely rare and extremely lucky because I've had a sleep disorder diagnosis almost my whole life (since I was 11, I'm now 30ish). Most people with sleep disorders, especially severe sleep disorders, spend years and years exhausted and believing something is simply wrong with them, that they're some kind of a failure, because they just can't ""try"" hard enough to ""fix it""

Anyway if you struggle with sleep, especially if it's a sleep disorder, I believe you and I believe that it's real.

And if you find yourself relating to this post, or are tired all the time because you can never get enough sleep - or can only get enough if you sleep half/most of the day - I really recommend looking into sleep disorders, especially delayed sleep phase

Oh also working during a time that your circadian rhythm says you're supposed to sleep is so hard that for a person with a ""normal"" sleep schedule, working night shifts can literally give you a diagnosable sleep disorder. It's literally called "shift work disorder"

[meichenxi]

career. change. help

so I am making a career change because teaching is going to make me burn out and I NEED YOUR HELP to brainstorm, fellow neurodivergents and degenerates!!!!! do you have any personal experience? any careers or jobs that work for you? (doesn't need to be a 'career' that your parents would be proud of; postie works fine!)

if you don't have any ideas, could you pass it around?

what we're working with / difficulties:

I am adhd and hyperactive. I like moving around a lot and struggle to sit still all day

I am also most likely autistic. I get HUGE masking/social hangovers that mean that when I teach for 2 hours, I need to spend another 2 hours directly afterwards in the dark with noise cancelling headphones. teaching in a school left me essentially unable to cook, clean or socialise for a year. even now teaching 1-1 means that I spend 100% of the time teaching recovering afterwards at least - so an hour recovering for an hour's teaching. this inevitably leads to burnout.

I have a lot of sensory difficulties and get easily overstimulated e.g. bright lights, sounds etc. I wear blue light cancelling glasses and use loops and/or noise cancelling headphones where applicable but yeahhhh. still doesn’t really do it

I have a problem with my ulnar nerve which means that typing for extended periods of time (even standing up, even with accommodations) is difficult. This is a cumulative thing, so it means that if I don’t type very much for one day, it’ll be easier the next day, but I still can only type for about 3 hours maximum. After a while (say 3-4 days of typing a reasonable amount), everything begins to hurt and eventually my hands seize up and I can’t use them :))) I can’t really use assistive technology enough as a stop-gap, because scrolling, clicking, holding a phone, cooking, washing up etc – all things where my elbows are a right angle all cause this problem

strengths:

I have a lot of experience teaching and tutoring. Don’t really want to continue this, but this is what my main experience so far is in – I’ve taught in China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, and the UK

I have experience managing teams of teachers and training, running interviews, writing curriculums etc. basically anything teacher-related I am fairly experienced at

I can speak (obviously) english, decent mandarin chinese, decent german, and could get good at french or spanish or dutch if you gave me like. six months to reactivate it

a good degree from a good university in the uk, linguistics, first class

I have a yoga teaching qualification

physically fit and able-bodied and active – I can run, walk, climb, pull things, do whatever

the issue I’m facing is that most ‘autism friendly’ careers I am looking at all involve extensive periods of typing, which I am not really able to do. and most ‘normal’ careers all involve extensive periods of socialising, which I am not really able to do. It’s a pretty shit situation. I am very good and enjoy performance-type things like teaching drama, yoga, tour guiding and stuff – all things my adhd brain loves – but I can only do them for a very short period of time before my autistic brain needs alone time in the dark.

So anyway. What sort of things do you guys do? What works for you? Any tips or help or directions would be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately it’s not a ‘how to solve the world career’, but ‘how to have a life’ type career – I am not adverse to working as a cleaner or a traffic warden or whatever. As long as I can write my book alongside (which I can’t do with ‘typing’ heavy jobs), I’ll be happy. at the moment I'm mainly just sad and frustrated at how little life i can lead even working 15 hours a week (which is all I work, and all, with this current job, that I can work)

maybe I’ll just make a youtube channel. imagine

[mrradmccoolman]

hello everyone...today...we have a very special post...

welcome again to

ELLIOTT'S ANDERPERRY SONG ANALYSIS

today is an Unfortunate day...rip neil perry you would have loved being a hater online 😔

all jokes aside, i wanted to do sometbing unique to commemorate today, but i haven't finished any of the fics im working on and art block has been kicking my ass for the past three years, so i thought instead, id do a neil perry focused analysis of one of my favorite songs of all time. sooo, i present

All I Need by Radiohead

this song has been beloved by me for a few years, now, but it was only recently that i saw it used in a neil perry centric dps edit and it. broke. me. this song is so incredibly insanely beautiful for so many reasons, simply by the way it's composed, but with neil?? OTHERWORLDLY. if you haven't heard it, listen to it. for the best experience, id recommend listening to it while you read this:)

"i'm in the next act, waiting in the wings" for obvious reasons, this lyric connects to neil in several ways. this not only alludes to his dreams as an actor, and the night of the play, but also where i believe his mental state is all throughout the night and leading up to it. before the play, there's a scene where neil talks to keating to try and express his terror of explaining himself to his father, and ultimately, he feels even more alone as keating doesn't quite understand what he means. he's in the "next act", apart from everyone else. it's also indicative of his mental state towards the end of the night. i remember reading something that said you actually make decisions a split second before your mind catches up to your choice. on top of that, contemplating committing suicide-- it's an out of body experience. neil is so removed from everything around him that his body is only waiting to join his mind under the lights of center stage.

"i'm an animal trapped in your hot car" repeatedly, neil describes feeling as if he is trapped in his life, both by his father and the expectations set before him. he is unable to express himself, or do the things that give him joy. animals that overheat due to being left in cars are not only entirely helpless in their predicament, but also reliant on somebody noticing them to survive. leaving an animal in that situation implies a lack or care/attention, being so negligent as to leave your animal trapped in what is virtually an oven. neil is in the same situation. his father doesn't even see him gasping for air, or chooses not to.

"i am all the days that you choose to ignore" neil's father and the people around him are not entirely clueless. they clearly understand, at least to some degree, that neil is unhappy. however, they choose to turn a blind eye to it. his mother is possibly the biggest perpetrator of this. she's complicit in mr. perry's abuse, as she doesn't do anything to stop it. now it is important to note that as a woman, the amount of power she actually had in this situation was very little, and the situation she was in was extremely complicated. for that, it's needed to give her some grace. even so, she still never reached out to neil or stood up for him. it wasn't because she didn't love him; in fact, both of his parents' actions were out of love for neil. they just didn't know how to love a neil who wasn't the version they'd imagined him to be.

"you are all i need" i personally view this as neil thinking this to himself about multiple things: todd, the dead poets, acting, keating, etc...i say this because sometimes, when you are incredibly depressed, it can be easy to convince yourself that if you just get this one thing everything will be better. especially when you don't really understand depression, and so your only idea to help yourself is to reach for something to fix the feelings you have. if i only get this, surely ill be happy again. surely ill be normal again. similarly, this reflects how reaching out and providing neil support could have changed the outcome of his decision, and finally, the line represents the idea of suicide as a final solution. it's all he needs to get away, to gain control.

"i'm in the middle of your picture, lying in the reeds" in the actual song, this is a possible reference to a painting of ophelia from hamlet (also written by shakespeare, the same one who wrote a midsummer night's dream, interestingly enough). i won't go into much detail about her story as i don't have the time for it here, nor have i gotten the chance to read it extensively-- but after reading a paper analyzing her character, she parallels neil in many ways. as a woman, she is frequently and consistently ignored and belittled. her life is controlled by those around her and their expectations for her, and when she finally tries to speak up and assert herself to others, she is labeled as crazy. this cultimates in her death by drowning, which, albeit never explicitly stated, is widely considered a suicide. to compare neil to ophelia would not be far off.

"i am a moth who just wants to share your light" for one, moths are generally considered pests. they are attracted to light because they use the light of the moon and stars to orient themselves, and change where they are flying to keep the light above them. when under artificial light, they get confused and fly in circles. a moth, who's natural instinct to move beneath the glow of the night sky has been smothered again and again would of course gravitate to artificial light. when it comes to neil, this means many things. his 'moon', or what comes naturally to him/who he truly is, is blocked out again and again by the people around him. in this sense, the artificial light could represent his manufactured future as a doctor, forced upon him by his father. he tries to follow the path set out for him, but is left confused and disoriented, feeling like he's going nowhere, flying in desperate circles while nothing changes. alternatively, the artificial light could represent the dead poets and todd. they are the only light he can find in his increasingly dark world. and when that light is snuffed out, he has nowhere else to go.

"i'm just an insect trying to get out of the night" going back to the pest metaphor-- not only does neil feel small and helpless like an insect, but perhaps also unloved and disgusting to those around him. depression warps your sense of self immensely, and can lead to intense self hatred. neil feels so pathetically miniscule beneath everything happening to him that he sees himself as a bug trying to escape the night, or, his life. i imagine this as an internal self monologue; by committing suicide, he is doing the last thing he can think of to escape.

"it's all wrong, it's all wrong, it's all wrong..." after a devastatingly beautiful instrumental, the song comes back in with this soft mantra. neil's thoughts are buzzing through his ears until he can't hear anything else. he is entirely disconnected from the world around him. everything is wrong, everything is over, and there's nothing he can do. i think of him in the silent car ride home with his father, silently but frantically trying to think of any way out of what's about to happen. maybe he even thinks of something, before along with everything else, that idea is crushed by his father's ultimatum. maybe his mind finally quiets down, at the end. maybe it doesn't.

"it's alright, it's alright, it's alright..." not only is this lyric the opposite of the one previous, but it also has a double meaning. it is not only alright, but all right. directly opposing what was said before, we are told that everything is okay, and even more than that, it is right. it is how it should be, maybe even how it was meant to be all along. how it was always destined to be. neil didn't do what he did to hurt anyone. in fact, he did what he did because in seeing it as the only option, he convinced himself it was the right one; that by taking himself out of the equation, he was doing what he had to. on top of this, he wants everyone to be okay. his self-hatred mixes with his love for his friends and family. he truly believes they'll be better off without them, and he wants them to be.

as always, let me know your thoughts.

<- prev | next->

[undertopiatales]

Devotion

Warning(s): Kidnapping, Implied cheating, Angst(?), Mentions of fighting, Sexual themes, NSFW

Pairing: Arlecchino x Female Reader

Darkness. That's the only thing you can see. Your mind is fogged and unable to think straight. Are you perhaps dreaming?

You feel empty. Why are you feeling this unpleasant emotion? Did something unfortunate happen? Did you perhaps encounter misfortune?

Unfortunate? Misfortune?

As your mind lingers on those words, a memory of you crying and screaming at anger and regret flashes through your mind. Why are you crying like a child? Why are you screaming like it's the end of the world? Why? You don't know, but you want to know.

A deafening silence slowly makes your mind regain consciousness and stirs you awake. As your eyes flutter open, you find yourself in a bed inside a dimly lit room. The air feels cold and damp. Your eyes struggle to adjust to the only light source inside the chamber.

You start asking yourself "Where am I?", "How did I end up here?", "What happened?". As your mind continues to process all the questions you ask yourself, you try to sit up, only to stop for a moment as you feel a stinging pain in your head. Did you have an accident? Did someone knock you up?

Your body feels heavy and sluggish, and your breathing is ragged and shaky as you start to panic. You also find out that both of your wrists were tied up on each bedpost, which makes you panic even more. You tried to take a deep breath to calm yourself down. You also tried to scan the room as your eyes started to adjust to the darkness.

"You're finally awake."

Your breath hitches when you hear that familiar voice echoing through the room. You try to search for the source of the voice until you spot a figure not far away from you. You squint your eyes only to see the figure start to move and walk in your direction, which makes your heart stop beating.

Every time you hear the figure's footstep clacking through the wooden floor of the room, your chest tightens up. Once you can clearly see the figure's body, your body stiffens up. How could you even forget about her anyway, especially with those eyes of hers? It's like it could kill you if you dare to stare at them too much.

"How do you feel?" she asked you.

You didn't answer her; you just glared at her instead. She slowly walks to where you are and sits at the edge of the bed. You follow every movement of hers, and as long as you stare at her, your mind starts to remember what happened.

You were part of the Forest Rangers from Sumeru. As a forest ranger, you're responsible for helping travelers as well as preserving the ecosystem of Sumeru's rainforests. You also have a lover who's loyal and devoted to you—or that's what you thought.

It was a normal day in the forest. You were helping travelers as well as reporting about withering zones in the forest. It was a completely normal day; it was supposed to be.

You quickly finish your job for today so you can surprise and spend time with your lover; it was your anniversary today after all. After you reach your shared home, you quickly twist the doorknob, but it is locked. You were confused because your lover was supposed to be here. You tried to call for your lover, but there was no response. You tried to open the window, and you thanked your archon; it worked.

After you use the window as the entrance, you are greeted by a dark hallway. You try to search every part of your shared house to find your lover, but you fail. You sigh, but you remember that you haven't checked your bedroom.

You wish you had never done that. You wish you had never opened that door that ended your world. As you twist the doorknob and open the door, you find your partner hugging another person. They're both sleeping naked and snuggled up underneath the blanket.

You don't know what happened next after seeing that; you're probably blinded by your rage and hatred, but you're sure about one thing: It broke you.

It's been a month since that unfortunate event. You decided to leave your shared home and live alone. You started to drink at the bar just to drown out those feelings and fill that emptiness inside of you. You don't know why your ex-lover did that. As you continued to drink, you thought you were doing something right. You thought everything was fine.

You feel funny. Now that you're alone with nothing, you don't know what to do. You don't even have the guts to break their ties. Another month has passed, and you are slowly getting back at yourself now. Even though you still feel empty inside, you managed to pull yourself together. You managed to get back to work and promised yourself to devote yourself to much better things, like your nation.

One night, at your shift. You heard a group of people not far from your position. When you start walking to check it out, you find yourself catching up to them, and you weren't expecting who they were. Fatui.

You hide yourself in the bush, trying to understand what they are doing. As you continue to watch them, you have come to the conclusion that they are experimenting with something dangerous that can cause destruction in the forest.

You want to run. You wanted to run and call for help, but your pride and your stupid devotion got the best of you. Even though you only have your bow, a couple of arrows, and a dagger, you ignore them.

You start to take them down one after another. Even without vision, you managed to hold your ground against them. It's probably the adrenaline rushing through your veins, and your devotion to Sumeru is the reason why you are standing there and fighting countless Fatui members.

You remember the only thing you could hear there was your war cry, your speech for Sumeru and Fatui members falling into the ground, and that caught one specific member of the Fatui. It's been almost half an hour now, and you're still high on adrenaline. You thought to yourself that you'd be a worthy hero, a hero that would finally be acknowledged by Sumeru, but it all came crashing down when you got blown away by an explosion.

You collapsed there, unable to move your body, but your eyes were still locked on them, especially at one person who was staring back at you. You stare at her as she orders her men to leave those Fatui members you took down. When she's about to leave, she gives you one final glance before walking away.

You thought you were just an insect for her to step on before leaving, and that pisses you off so much. You try to stand up, ignoring all the pain from the injury you got from the explosion earlier. You wanted to destroy that face of hers. Out of rage, you manage to grab your dagger and charge towards her. You managed to make a small cut on her cheek before you got blown away again and hit your head on the ground.

After you lose your consciousness, the next thing you know, you're here, at the woman you have lost.

"Speak. You're not a mute, right? I hear your little speech when you're fighting. So you better start answering my questions before I lose my patience, got that?"

You nodded immediately. As you scan her, her face remains the same. Unfazed.

"Again, how do you feel?" she asked again.

"I'm fine, I guess. My head and body still hurt, but I'm fine," you answered.

"You must be wondering why you are here, right? You must be wondering why I didn't leave you to bleed and die, right?" she asked in a cold way.

"You need something from me then..." you mumbled.

"I do. You intrigue me. Your devotion, your guts, it intrigues me. Even though you have no vision or any powerful weapon, you managed to defeat my men. Why didn't you run? What made you push for that stupid little stunt of yours?"

You don't know what to say. Was it because of your loyalty? Was it because you wanted to save Sumeru? Was it to save people's lives?

"I don't know," you muttered.

"Tch, I should have warned you about hiding the truth. Well, it's my problem that I forgot to say something about lying."

"I..." Before you could even speak, she stopped you.

"Hush now; you don't need to answer it. It's not like I don't know everything about your miserable life."

Know everything about you? At first, you didn't believe her until her mouth spilled out your name.

"How did you know?" Before you could even finish what you were going to say, she stopped you again.

"Just like I said earlier, you intrigue me. You piqued my interest. Fatui are experts when it comes to gathering information, and in your case, a lowly forest ranger would be an easy target." She grinned at you.

"I know everything about you: your name, your age, family members, everything."

She looked at you and saw your scared expression, which made her grin more.

"I also know your little tragedy of yours." That line alone made you shiver down your spine. You want to forget about that. You want to forget about that and never look back.

When she saw your troubled and hurt expression, her smile widened even more.

"It looks like the information about your ex-partner having an affair behind your back is true."

You don't want to talk about it. It's making your heart ache. The hole inside you that you're trying to fill is slowly opening, but the girl beside you seems to be enjoying it. Seeing your hurt and regretful expression only makes this interesting to her.

She slowly leaned in your ear and whispered, "Do you want to know a secret?" She pulled away from your ear to see your face.

"Do you know your ex-partner has been lying to you?"

What does she mean by that? What do you mean by lying?

"Do you know when you caught them sleeping together, that wasn't the first time they did that?"

Your heart dropped at her statement. You don't want to believe it. Of course, you're angry with your ex-lover, but when you find out that they've been doing this behind your back for a very long time, it makes your heart ache.

Your vision starts to get blurry as tears from your eyes start to fall. You don't want to believe in her, but it's no use. She knows everything about you, and she already proved it once. You just need to accept it.

Your tears start to pour more from your eyes, as if the damn inside you had been broken down. The woman beside you was amazed by your expression; watching your tears of regret and sorrow slide down from your cheek to her bed made it more interesting to her.

A moment later, when you calm down, your eyes are red from crying, and the pained expression of yours is fully presented to the woman beside you.

"Are you done crying now?" she asked with a grin on her face. "That was an interesting play."

"Are you done toying with me?"

"Pretty much so."

"So what now? Are you going to dispose of me?"

"Didn't you just hear what I said earlier? You piqued my interest; why would I discard you?"

At this point, you don't know what to expect from her anymore.

Her gloved hand slowly reached for your cheek to brush off the tears from earlier.

"I want you to join me. I want you to join Fatui," she said while cupping your cheeks.

"Why do you want me to join you? I'm weak. I have no vision or anything."

"I thought it was obvious by now?" she said as she slowly moved her other hand to your thighs, surprising you and making you look her in the eyes.

"I want your loyalty, I want your devotion, I want everything from you. It fascinates me how devoted you are to your partner and your nation, even without getting anything in return. I want that to myself. I want your heart to worship me instead. I want to show your stupid ex-partner of yours what they wasted."

She brushed her gloved hand on your lips, and your body instantly leaned into her touch.

"Well, would you look at that?" she teased you as she felt you starting to melt on her touches.

"I want you."

You couldn't resist yourself anymore. You wanted to admit that you had already lost yourself to the woman right in front of you.

She cupped your face with both of her hands and leaned down to capture your lips. It was a gentle and soothing kiss. The kiss lasts for a moment before she pulls away. She starts to leave open kisses on your exposed neck, leaving marks and hickeys all over it.

You can't still move because of the restraint on your wrists. If you weren't tied right now, your hands would be all over the woman in front of you right now. You're going insane with her kisses alone. After marking your neck, she pulled away only to crash her lips against yours, but this time it was more rough and dominant than the last time.

You moaned into the kiss; the growing heat between your legs was starting to take over your senses. You want to get touched in that place by her. She pulled away a few moments later, allowing both of you to breathe.

"Please... touch me," you desperately begged for her.

"The name's Arlecchino. I want you to say it. I want you to beg for it with my name on it."

"Please touch me down there, Arlecchino."

"I knew you'd fall for me," she laughed. She finally had you in her grasp. You were finally hers, like she wanted.

She freed your hands from the restraints before taking off her glove and sliding her hand under your pants. Her fingers brushed against your wet entrance. You moaned as you felt her two fingers slide inside you, pumping in and out.

You were hers when you reached your climax with her fingers. You were hers when you jumped into her warm embrace. You were hers when you both spent the night full of intimacy. You were hers the moment you both fell asleep on the same bed.

You were hers when you wore your Fatui uniform and mask after the night that changed everything. You were hers every time you visited her chamber every night. Every time, when just the two of you are present, she makes you feel loved because she knows how much she has grown to truly love you.

You were hers at that time.

[happymeishappylife]

Like many of you are, waking up to the news this morning was shocking, saddening, and worrying. And while I am a believer of getting every last count, the numbers don't look strong enough to flip these results, as unfortunate as that is. But unlike 8 years ago where I felt miserable, lost, and unable to focus, I don't feel that way this time. Maybe thats because I got ready for work, just like I always do. Maybe thats because I know I will be talking to people who voted for this today, even a couple who didn't like the guy.

But overall, I am ready to keep fighting. And what this election has shown me more clearly is that we have to fight, but we also have a lot of work to do. The polarization in this country is ripping us apart and we need to fix that before we can fix the country. And to do that we need to do 3 things:

1. We need to build our communities back.

We are at a point with politics that people have made them their entire identities and thats all they consume, feel, and react to. We need to instead find a way to connect people to people. And we need to find the things we enjoy so we can get to know our neighbors as people with interests and not just people living on our streets. We need to raise each other up, help where we can, and we need to celebrate others achievements. That will help in this scary time and hopefully bring us back to a civility to discuss the heavier topics without making it feel like we need to attack each other or rip each others throats out.

And how do we do that?

2. We need to get people offline.

The 24 hour news cycle, political podcast and constant commentary is not healthy for anybody. Not only because it keeps everyone in a constant state of anxiety, but also because it traps people in their echo chambers and lets propaganda and radicalization breed into minds of otherwise normal people. And we are all susceptible to propaganda, don't think you are immune because you are on the other side. Its also getting worse by the spread of misinformation, AI, and bad actors who want to divide us and make us hate each other.

Now of course, we should be paying attention to what our leaders are doing, but we don't need to read every tweet or hear every soundbite. Instead, pick two times a day where you are ready to consume the news for 30 minutes or an hour. And don't take one source as gospel. Hear the news event, and double check other outlets to see how they are reporting it. Find the actual recordings and not just the clips. Because sadly, there is not a reputable news source anymore. And after that time, go do something else you love so you can start connecting to people in real life and relax which help the mental stress.

And yes, being online helps organize these events, but in person events will benfit us so much more. So please, find a way to disconnect from the virtual world and find a way to connect to real people again.

3. We must engage people to do their civic duty.

And no, I don't mean converting them to your side because everyone gets hostile about that. I am talking about, getting them engaged in the process at all because I have a sneaking suspicion that like 2016, a majority of Americans didn't vote at all this time.

But how do we do that?

We don't wait four years. In fact, this goes for people who are politically active too because we keep turning out every four years, but ignoring the elections where our votes really matter and affect the most change which can help make all of us feel like our vote does matter.

So start with your Town/City council. You don't have to watch the hearings/meetings (because they are arduous, trust me, I attend them), but read the news the day after, find out what they discussed, voted on, rezoned. Do you like it? Great, vote to keep those people on the councils. Don't? Vote them out. These elections happen every year and also involve ballot measures that affect your taxes and community. Understand the process and get involved here first, then your county, state, and them the federal. Then it won't be intimidating to get into and it won't be as polarizing.

And you may think 'but why should I vote for the superintendent when I don't have kids in school or the agricultural commissioner when I am not a farmer?' Do you want our society to be taught well or poorly? Do you want our food to be ethically produced or make us sick? You don't need to know the ins and outs for every issue or position but you can at least make sure qualified people are in those roles to make those decisions and not just people hoping for a platform.

So don't despair. I know thats hard today. I know it will feel desperate right now, but we can't give in. We can't give up. And we can survive this.

[purpleyoonn]

baby (you complete us)

P R E V I E W 

summary: Soulmates were a common occurrence, so common, in fact, that the world sought an easier way to find your other half: A bracelet that would scan your mark and match you with those who shared your mark. Within recent years, soul groups were becoming normal, and your own bracelet said you have seven matches.

Or where you wear your bracelet for ten years, and finally give up the hope you would find your soul group, only for BTS to put theirs on and see what they were missing.

status: coming soon

genre: soulmate au, idol au, angst, fluff, eventual smut,

pairing: Idol BTS x Disabled MC

warnings: angst, mentions of depression, disabled mc (Ehlers Danlos syndrome), eventual smut, fluff, lots of fluff, mentions of disability, simp bangtan

Some warnings may be added to the beginning of individual chapters.

masterlist // taglist 

@imnotlauriane​​ @mageprincess7​​ @m1sss1mp​​ @0funsite0​​  @strawberry-moonpies​​ @this-isthe-way​​ @singukieee​​ @btsw1fe​​ @gooooomz​​ @fluffy-canada-pancakes​​ @carolinexkpop​​ @agusfree​​ @sakurarukas​​ @iamkookiesforyou​​ @skyys-universe​​ @toughbook​​ @plutoneu​​ @whisperssuga​​ ​ @yourleftsock​​ @cryingpages​​ @strxwbloody​​  @drissteele​​  @dustyinkpages​​​ @crushedblackroses​​ @blaaiissee​​ 

----------------------------------------

It had been almost a week since you had taken off your bracelet, consequently giving up the hope you had of ever finding your soulmates.

It was a weird feeling, almost as if you noticed even more the number of soulmates around you, like your heart was still hoping your soulmates would just show up, in front of you, or give you a sign at least that they were looking for you as well.

But you knew that wasn’t going to happen. If it did, it would have happened years ago. Soulmate bracelets had become common a couple years back, and almost everyone you knew wore one.

It was around 9 o’clock am and you were at your favorite café, your work laptop in front of you as shifted through emails, sending ones to trash as you deemed fit. You had a large coffee in front of you, refilled probably twice by now along with an empty plate that once held a lemon loaf slice.

The tv played in the background as you listened to the sounds of the café, taking a small break so you don’t end up hurting your eyes even more. You had been there since they opened at five thirty, unable to sleep.

You had been having trouble sleeping since taking off the bracelet, attributing the issue to the different feeling of a weightless wrist. Change was always a motive for your body to have sleeping difficulties, unfortunately.

Rubbing your eyes, not caring about the left over makeup residue, you open them again only to catch sight of the television, one of your favorite kpop groups, BTS, was on it, well a picture of them was. It was followed by a twitter post, the word “soulmate” catching your eye.

You quickly close out your email and head to google, going straight to twitter and signing in. The first thing that came up was the post from the official Bighit account.

Hello.

This is BIGHIT MUSIC.

The collaboration BTS is doing with Soul Connection has brought to our attention the presence of another soulmate within the already bonded group. All seven members have responded to the bracelet notification and are waiting for their soulmate to respond.

However, due to some unforeseen circumstances, they have been unable to get any information about their soulmate, as their profile is private due to either personal settings or from not wearing the bracelet.

We are asking that if their soulmate is reading this, that they please answer the messages that have been sent and get into contact with us.

This is of the utmost importance, as now that both parties are aware, soul symptoms are soon to begin and we wish to place importance upon the health of both parties.

Thank you.

The tweet was retweeted by BTS themselves, with the caption, “please help us, army.”

It had your mind racing, wondering if they were your mates, seeing as you had seven of them according to the app. You looked down at your mark, before looking away, a sigh leaving your lips.

There was no way BTS were your mates. Absolutely ridiculous.

Your brain was just trying to save you the heartache of being completely abandoned by your own soulmates, so it was coming up with ridiculous ideas to ease the pain. But it wasn’t going to work, as you were already familiar and comfortable with the idea of pain.