#i am trying to understand and this is the only thing that makes sense

[ponderingmoonlight]

And yet, you're here

Pairing: Geto x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,8k

Synopsis: Years after Suguru left, you're still not able to get him off your mind. When he reappears years after his betrayal, the past collides with the present. Unexpected, in a way you didn't even dare to dream about.

Warnings: this isn't proofread 100%, the emotional rollercoaster you deserve, hurt to comfort big time, this is for all my geto girlies who deserve their happy ending

please please please make this go viral thank you

„He’s a threat for the whole population!”

“We need to kill that brat before he kills all non-sorcerers.”

“I can’t believe someone like him was able to do something like…that.”

“So much wasted potential. Why does a special grade sorcerer act this way?”

“I thought he’s a nice boy.”

“So, you’re not one of those nice guys I guess.”

The sun already hung so low in the sky that you were barely able to see his soft features, let alone the surprised look that crept over his face while hearing those words coming from your mouth.

“Are you talking about me or Satoru?”

You let out one of those cute chuckles he adored so much, the kind he heard in his head on repeat even when you were long gone. Gosh, he couldn’t get enough of this. Those lonely nights with only you and a cigarette by his side, the countless hours he spent trying to understand you while it was his mind that slowly but surely fell apart.

“Nope, I’m always talking about you, Suguru.”

“What am I if not a nice guy, then?”

Sure, Satoru Gojo was his one and only best friend, but you were something else entirely: An unspoken bond that lived in the spaces between words, in glances that lingered just a moment too long. You weren’t a lover, not in the conventional sense, but you weren’t just a friend either. You were a mirror to his soul, the keeper of truths he couldn't bear to speak aloud, and the only person who could hold the weight of his silence without it breaking you both.

“You’re... complicated,” you finally replied, the word laced with warmth rather than judgment.

“You’re the kind of person who feels too much but hides it too well. The kind who would burn the world down if it meant saving the people you love. Not everyone understands that, but I do. Or at least I’m convinced I do.”

Suguru’s lips twitched into a faint smile, more melancholic than amused.

“Complicated, huh? That’s one way to put it.”

“And dangerous,” you added lightly, the hint of a smile in your voice.

“But not in the way they think. Not to me.”

His expression softened, the darkness in his eyes easing for just a moment as he stared at you.

“Not to you,” he echoed, as though testing the words on his tongue, letting them sink into the cracks of his fraying soul.

Till this day, that one last conversation both of you had on that lonely bench still haunts him. The way you looked at him back then, as if you’d already knew that you might never see him again, as if you just counted the hours until he goes berserk.

What are you thinking about him now?

Is he still on your mind?

Are you hating him the way Satoru does?

“You’re thinking about her again, don’t you?”

Fuck. He thought about you.

Again.

Suguru lets out a sharp exhale, the sound halfway between a sigh and a laugh, bitter enough to sting his own ears. How pathetic he has to look to the people surrounding him. When he walked down this path, he knew that he’ll have to do it without you, that he won’t be able to see you again. And yet…

Losing you seems to hurt more than anything else.

 “Of course I am,” he admits to his assistant, his voice low and rough like gravel underfoot.

“Not like I can help it. She’s everywhere, even when she’s not. It’s ridiculous.”

There it is again, your face ghosting through his mind. Other than Satoru and Shoko, you never really tried to find him. If you wanted to, you would, right? Maybe you’re too mad at him for all the things he’s done. Or maybe you already forgot about him.

 “But it doesn’t matter, does it? She’s gone. Just like everything else.”

For a moment, he closes his eyes, trying to drown out the memories, the sound of your laugh, the way your voice softened when you said his name, the weight of your eyes on him as if you could see through all the lies he told himself. He’d burn every memory if he could, let them smolder in the same fire that consumed the rest of his life.

“Besides. She’d hate me now, just like everyone else. Maybe she was just waiting for me to turn into the monster she saw coming.”

“Stop stewing in these thoughts, that doesn’t matter anymore. We’re expecting another bunch of monkeys in half an hour.”

But even as she said it, the words tasted wrong. It shouldn’t matter that he can still feel the warmth of your gaze, your unwavering belief in him, and yet it cuts deeper than any accusation ever could. Suguru shakes his head while straightening his shoulders, eyes locked onto Manami in front of him in order to force you off his mind.

“Doesn’t matter,” he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper, as though trying to convince himself.

“It’s too late for that now. So, where’s the monkeys?”

“Why did I know I’d find you here?”

His voice startles you, making you jump slightly. You turn to see none other than Satoru Gojo standing there, hands in his pockets, his white hair catching the fading sunlight. The sunglasses perched on his nose don’t quite hide the sharp edge in his expression he usually wears around you.

“Because I’m always here, I guess,” you reply softly, your tone as tired as the circles under your eyes appear.

“And I told you to stop a long time ago,” Satoru bites back, his voice bitter, cutting.

“The Suguru you knew… he’s gone.”

The weight of his words lands hard, though they’re not new. He’s said them before, with the same venom in his voice, every time you bring up Suguru or the past.

“I know. I’ve always known.”

“Then why do you keep punishing yourself? Dropping out of Jujutsu High when everyone needed you didn’t bring him back. Hiding out here doesn’t change anything, y’know?”

“It wasn’t about bringing him back, Satoru,” you snap, your voice sharper than you intend.

“It was about… letting him go. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” he challenges, stepping closer.

“I’ve spent years watching people destroy themselves over things they can’t fix. I know the look in your eyes - you miss him. You always have. But you didn’t even try to stop him when he turned his back on us.”

You flinch, his words hitting a nerve.

“Because it wasn’t my place. I wasn’t like you, Gojo. I wasn’t his best friend. I wasn’t strong enough to drag him back kicking and screaming or to stand in his way. All I could do was… let him live the way he decided to. I thought… maybe if I stayed behind, if I didn’t follow him, he’d understand that I believed in him, that I trust him and his actions, the path he chooses. That I’d be here if he ever wanted to come back.”

Satoru’s shoulders tense, his jaw tightening. He never understood. Until this day, he never wrapped his head around the fact that you didn’t try to stop his best friend back then. You, who had more power over Suguru than himself.

God, how much he hates that disgusting truth until now.

“And look where that got you,” he mutters.

You look away, your hands gripping the edge of the bench for support.

“I never expected to see him again, Satoru. I didn’t think I’d matter enough to him for that.”

The silence between you stretches thin, brittle as glass.

“Do you think he hates me?” you ask, your voice barely audible.

“For staying behind? For not going after him?”

Gojo doesn’t answer, which is answer enough. You know he blames you, at least a little, for what happened. For not doing more. For leaving everything to him. For allowing Suguru to turn his back on Jujutsu High.

“Suguru hating you? Never. I bet he still thinks about you every damn day”, Satoru mutters under his breath before turning on his heels and leaving you standing in the rain.

Suguru, still thinking about you? You shake your head vehemently, not allowing that absurd thought into your brain. If he would miss you, he’d visit you, right? In all those years, he never lifted a finger in order to find you.

You were right there. In your small apartment, at jujutsu high.

Maybe he forgot about you after all.

“Me? Forgetting you? I’d never be able to do that, (y/n).”

Maybe some promises are meant to be broken.

-a few evenings later-

You’ve drank too much.

You always do when Shoko isn’t with you, when no one’s around to watch you. But even though you emptied a whole bottle of liqueur on your own, you still aren’t able to forget him. Fuck, his face is glued onto your mind like a second skin, never leaves you even though you drink enough to forget your own name.

Will it always feel like this? Will that ache ever go away?

“What are you thinking about, handsome?”

“Something I’ve lost some while ago”, you mumble, absently swirling your glittery cocktail around.

“That’s a bummer.”

You don’t even gift the random stranger next to you a look, the guy who smells like cheap cigarettes so vehemently that you feel like throwing up.

Maybe it’s time to call it a day.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

You spring back onto your feet, the alcohol vibrating through your veins. You were never much of a drinker back then, only shared a cigarette with Suguru from time to time. But this became your only way to numb the pain. At least for a few hours, at least for some time.

The cold air of the night hits your face like a wall. Even though it’s far past midnight, the city buzzes in street light, laughter and cries. And yet, all you’re able to think about is him again. His laugh, his voice, the way he used to look at you when he thought no one else was watching. Is it wrong to long for him? Is it disgusting that you couldn’t care less about the things he’s done those past years, about what he’d become?

You shake your head, trying to dispel the thoughts, but they cling to you, stubborn and relentless. Why can’t you just stop? Stop longing for something that will never happen, stop running after a person who is long gone? Suguru won’t come back, you won’t just meet him on a random street-

The click of footsteps catches your attention. Heavy, yet elegant footsteps across the still busy street.

At first, you think it’s just another stranger wandering through the city’s darkened streets. But something about the rhythm - steady, purposeful - sets your nerves on edge. Something about this feels familiar.

You glance up, your heart skipping a beat as your gaze meets a pair of familiar dark brown eyes.

Suguru Geto.

The world around you blurs, the sounds of the city fading into silence. It’s him, unmistakably him. His hair is longer than you remember, strands sticking to his face from what looks like rain, or maybe it’s sweat. Blood splatters ruin his clothes and the sharp line of his jaw, painting a stark, gruesome picture paired with those cold orbs. His expression is unreadable, but his eyes… they’re searching, watching your every move.

You should run, or scream, or yell at him – at least something that shows him what he put you through.

Anything.

He’s the same man who left you, who walked away from everything, from you. He, who didn’t even tell you about his true feelings, who didn’t care about the consequences of his actions, who didn’t even ask you to join. All those miserable nights you imagined him sitting next to you on that bench, the bottles of alcohol you’ve drank just to forget his name. He needs to pay for it, needs to know what he did to you by leaving you behind.

But instead, your feet move of their own accord, closing the distance between you in an instant.

Before he can react, you throw your arms around him so, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Suguru freezes, his body stiff against yours. He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, as if the sheer force of your presence has left him powerless. You bury your face against his chest, not caring about the blood, the grime, or the hurricane of questions swirling in your mind. All you care about is the fact that he’s here, alive, and solid beneath your touch. You can feel him – not only in your dreams, but for real.

Suguru is here.

He’s alive.

He’s right between your arms.

The scent of him - familiar, though tinged with something darker - fills your senses, dragging you back into a world you thought you’d never touch again. Tears sting your eyes, but you bite them back, unwilling to let them fall.

“Suguru,” you whisper, your voice trembling.

Finally, he moves. His arms lift hesitantly, then wrap around you with a force that knocks the air out of your lungs. He holds you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear any given minute, his grip firm and desperate. His head dips slightly, and for a moment, you think you feel him trembling too.

“What are you doing?”

His voice is rough, low, almost broken.

“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice muffled against his chest.

“I just… I missed you.”

He pulls back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes scanning your face as if trying to memorize every detail.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he mutters, his tone a mixture of regret and warning.

“Neither should you,” you counter, your gaze unwavering.

Suguru’s lips twitch, almost forming a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He lifts a hand, his fingers brushing against your cheek as though testing if you’re real.

“You should hate me.”

“Maybe I should,” you reply, your voice steady despite the storm raging inside you.

God, you’re so furious at him. Mad because he ran away, mad because he left you standing in the rain.

Mad because this is actually the first time Suguru Geto hugged you.

“But I don’t. I guess I could never hate you.”

His expression falters, the mask he’s worn for so long cracking just enough to reveal the man beneath. The one you knew, the one you loved in a way you never fully understood. And for the first time since leaving everything behind, he feels that small ray of sunshine taking in his heart again.

“You don’t know what I’ve done, what I’ve become. I was so sure you’ll hate me like everyone else.”

“I know enough. And I don’t care. You’re still Suguru Geto, aren’t you?”

He exhales sharply, the sound almost like a laugh, though there’s no humor in it. You, not caring about the fact that he ended countless lives out of his own fulfilment? You, a jujutsu sorcerer who always protected those monkeys?

“You’re too good for this,” he bites back, shaking his head.

“Too good for me.”

“Don’t decide that for me,” you snap, surprising even yourself with your suddenly so sharp tone.

“You don’t get to make that choice. You already did when you left without saying goodbye”

The silence between you stretches, heavy with unspoken words. You’re right and he knows it. But… Was it really a possibility to take you with him back then? Was there a tiny chance that you…would have joined him?

Slowly, he leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closing as though seeking comfort in your presence. No, he doesn’t want to think this through. Not right now. Not when he feels your heart pound against his body, not when you’re this close to him for the very first time.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” he admits, his voice barely a whisper.

“I told myself it was better that way.”

“And yet you’re here,” you point out softly.

“And yet I’m here,” he echoes, his lips curving into a faint, bitter smile.

For a moment, it’s just the two of you. No blood, no curses, no jujutsu, no past or future. Just the weight of the present, fragile and fleeting. And for now, that’s enough.

For now, simply holding the man you thought you’ve lost forever on a random street is more than enough to make you feel whole again.

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[kawoala]

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES . . . !? suna rintarou.

╰ ⨳ word count ; .4k ( 498 )

╰ ⨳ content warning ; miscommunication 、 smau 、 profanity 、 kind of short 、 just like an introduction type thing.

previous ; masterlist ; next.

11:12 AM, new apartment building.

okay, so maybe you had overestimated yourself.

when you told rin you didn’t need help carrying your stuff up to the new apartment, you had been under the impression that kitchen utensils wouldn’t weigh that much when they were all put in the same box. but now, as you’re standing outside the building, hands on your hips, staring down at the pile of spilled kitchen utensils, you fear you might have overestimated yourself.

you gnaw on your bottom lip anxiously, glancing around quickly to make sure nobody is around to see your embarrassing mishap. you’re actually quite surprised to see absolutely nobody - much different compared to how busy your dorm building was.

you squat down, gathering as many utensils in your hands before dumping them into the backseat of your car. how are you going to get them up there? no idea. surely rin has silverware, right?

“uh, d’ya need help?”

you look up to the owner of voice and briefly think that the gods have rewarded you for your good deeds by sending an angel down to earth. his hair is a little too long for your usual type, but god damn does he make it work. everything about him is sharp; jawline, eyes, nose.

“what?” you ask dumbly, brows furrowing faintly. your brain catches up, finally, and you stand up with an awkward laugh. “oh, um, no. i mean- i just spilled my things. thank you, though, that’s very kind of you.” you give him a smile and stick out your hand for him to shake. “i’m y/n. i’m your new… neighbor? building-mate?” you shake your head. “i’m moving into this building, is what i’m trying to say.”

he hesitates in taking your hand. at first, you think it’s because you stumbled over your words too much and now he thinks you're weird, but then he says, “yeah, i know.”

your brain seems to stutter at his words. the smile is still on your face, but you’re sure the look in your eyes reads confused. “i’m sorry?” you ask, leaning forward a bit - just in case you didn’t quite hear him correctly.

“you’re y/n,” he repeats slowly. “i’m rin.” there’s a moment of silence - a moment too long, because then he continues like you don’t understand. “rintarou? runa’s cousin? your new roommate?”

oh. suddenly, everything you thought was weird makes sense. runa using “he” instead of “she” - though that might have been your fault; you thought she just made a mistake. the dryness of the texts you were receiving for the past few weeks.

rin - rintarou - is a guy.

“oh.”

“what, did runa not show you a picture of me or something?” he laughs, a sort of snorting sound, but the silence you return is the only answer he needs. “oh, she didn’t? shit, sorry. she has a habit of leaving out important details.”

you scoff, though it sounds more like a laugh. “yeah, tell me about it.”

╰ ⨳ taglist ; @miiyas , @heartmaddie , @cherrysurf , @pookalicious-hq , @grassbutneo , @akaashislovee , @cvddlebug , @pardoffel , @ssabvln , @smiithys .

[yaseraphine]

short-medium mercury observations bcuz I am feeling silly

A little silly astro obs until I am finished with the capricorn rising one. This post is just leo mercury non sense please don't mind me

I feel like a lot of water mercuries, especially scorpio mercuries, don’t talk much. They tend to observe, analyze and stay kind of out of the conversation. They only speak when it’s necessary. The opposite of a yapper basically

They also tend to have deep voices, both for men and women.

Capricorn mercuries can be a bit like this too. Really dry texters (as a leo mercury it gives me anxiety i feel like they hate me when they talk to me.. like if you hate me just tell me ☹️💔😭)

I genuinely don’t understand capricorns, and capricorn energy. Except when it’s in the ascendant or Venus, their energy is unreadable to me. Whenever I interact with a Capricorn, I feel like they hate me and don’t want to be there because they are not really expressive when they speak and are really direct and realists in their talking style. As a Leo mercury, I feel so judged 🫠😟Like if you hate me just say that💔😭😫

I am super expressive when I speak, kind of like a theater kid. Kind of like the voices in cartoons. Overtly excited when saying worldly stuff, like talking about the weather in the most dramatic way. When I speak, my tone goes up and down, it feels like you’re on a roller coaster when you interact with me. I have had people coming to me many times in the streets or the library telling me that I am too loud and that I should lower my voice to be respectful lol💀🤡💩 sorry😀

Aries and Leo mercuries, sometimes sag mercuries : we can’t shut the f up to save our lives lol the number of times i have been kicked out of class with my friends at school for being too loud, and laughing too much i can’t even count help-💀🤪🤠

Mercury in Sagittarius are so funny but at the same time so cringe my mom has it and she always makes corny dad jokes and she’s always the only one laughing at the diner table lmaoo

Mercuries in Gemini are so fucking smart, not in a genius way, but they can pick up on stuff so easily. Like understanding a text, or seeing the main points of a text without reading it in its entirety. They are really good at making connections between things, and connections that make sense. They are generally as logical as virgo mercuries, but they lack the meticulous side. They are pretty much to me a virgo mercury with ADHD on crack lol I'd say instead of being smart, they are more so perceptive, insightful or astute.

Some Mercury in Pisces sometimes speak so cryptically that it gets hard to understand, once they open their mouths, where they are going with what they’re trying to say. Their talking style is kind of surreal and romantic. They tend to create new words, and change up the grammar and verb conjugations. Their sensitivity and capacity to perceive things that cannot be seen by the naked eye is what makes them invent those words, because the already existing vocabulary isn’t enough to express this hyper specific thing or feeling they have.

Mercury in Pisces and Mercury in Virgo were placements that I found in the biggest readers I know. Both love reading and writing, and they have a thing for romance novels or fantasy books from what I've seen. Really delulu people in their own respective ways 🫡 but at the same time really talented 😁😍

the type of fiction virgo and pisces mercuries be writing on AO3 and Quotev instead of being productive members of society :

i just know a pisces mercury was behind this soul crushing poem 😞😔😿🫂

[xetlynn]

Can I ask for claggor x a piltover reader? She was raised in piltover and is very smart but was never ignorant to the condition of zaun and always tried her best to advocate and help the suffering people. I can imagine she would have a strong sense of guilt for loving claggor because she doesn't really understand the struggles he went through but will always try to help. <33 thank youuuu

Of course, I think I made this a little more dramatic than I meant to😭 but I hope this is good!

Arcane Imagines- Claggor

Mysterious

[arcane] [main page]

Prompt: In which reader is from Piltover and makes a friend in Zaun. Feeling guilty for liking him since she doesn't understand his struggles.

My feet achingly moved seemingly before me. My back hurt as I carried a box full of stuff from Piltover to give to a friend in the undercity.

When I was younger I was so fascinated by the people of Zaun. About the difficulties they’ve been through. My mother was always bitter about them. Going on tangents about how the people from the undercity should be more grateful since everything is better now. And whenever she does that I have to remind her of their struggles to get to this wonderful position they’ve been creating for themselves. Supporting them only pisses her off further than before. She asks what about Piltover’s struggles which is never the point of my argument. 

We’re privileged enough to never know what it’s like going without food, running water and a roof being over our heads. Most of Zaun could or still to this day can not say the same. It’s something I’ve written about in school essays, joining groups to learn more about the undercity. 

As a younger teen I snuck into Zaun, wanting to understand them better, know them rather than read about their history. Hear it from the people themselves. I won’t truly ever know their struggles but I still wish to help them. Advocate for their history and their growth as a community. Help them be one with Piltover eventually without there being discourse of if they deserve it. 

Everyone deserves happiness, love, and a life without ridiculous danger. They deserve peace as much as the next person.

I was reckless when going to Zaun. Sneaking out of my house as a teen and somehow to the undercity without being caught will forever blow my mind. The reason I kept doing it though was after I sat down in this bar. It’s called The Last Drop. I just needed a place to rest after walking for miles. 

Talking with the people there. Not really a scene a young teenager should be in but I didn’t care. I just wanted to listen to their stories. And they always enjoyed having me around. Seeing me as a niece of some sort.  Hearing the first one made me want to hear more. Hence why I kept coming back. And more recently there's a new reason.

I met a new friend. His name I still don’t know. He never properly introduced himself to me. Not by his birth given name but by the first letter. He wanted me to guess. 

It’s been 3 months and he has yet to tell me what it is. Or in his words I didn't guess good enough.

I guess his father was the owner, Vander is his name. I’ve met him a few times but I never sat up at the actual bar. Just in a corner keeping to myself before I went to adventure out into Zaun after hearing random stories.

When I met C he had started working more hours at the bar to help out since it was getting busier and busier after some time with people from the Uppercity decided the place was a hit. I guess he worked earlier shifts so that’s why we never crossed paths when I first started going there. 

C and I hit it off slowly in the beginning.  

It was a rough start since we both had different upcomings. I didn’t know what it was like to have to get my hands dirty and work for things I want or need. I’ve always just… had it. 

Talking about C’s childhood and things he went through as I had nothing bad to say except for the fact that my mother is a witch of a woman. It made me realize how weird I am for being so interested in others' lives. It made me realize I don’t have a life of my own. I want to fix people who don’t need to be fixed. They’re perfect the way they are, no matter what they went through. They don’t need me to stick up for them. I also figured out that I’m falling for a friend, who again… I don’t know the name of and we will never share a similar story. He deserves someone who understands the same livelihood he knows. Someone who can appreciate things more than I ever could.

“[Name]!” A voice shouts, shaking me from my thoughts. “C!” I grin, shimmying the box in my hands. “Is this everything?” He takes it from me with furrowed eyebrows, looking it over. “Mhm, every single thing you asked for.” I place my hands on the back of my hips, stretching to crack my back. Letting out a small sigh of relief afterwards. 

“You alright?” He asks with a chuckle, leading me into his apartment that he and his brother share. “Yeah, I definitely got my exercise in for the day.” I half-heartedly joke, shutting the door behind us and he places the box down on the counter. “What is the food for, exactly?”

When he first requested the stuff from me, he told me it was for an experiment. Not really saying much after that. A few foods and then things you can really only get in Topside. 

“To eat.” He grabs an apple and bites into it. My shoulders fall, not expecting that answer. For some reason I thought it was going to be something cooler. “Oh.” I let out a breathy laugh. “I was hungry when I was putting in that request.” He rubs his stomach sadly. 

I shake my head with a smile. “It’s okay. So can I know what this project is now?” I hop up on the barstool in his kitchen. “It’s a secret.” He says briefly, putting the food away in his counters. I frown. “Dang, keeping another thing from me, C?” I tilt my head. 

“Gotta keep you on your toes, by being a mysterious, interesting man. Don’t want you getting sick of me.” He quipped, now giving me his full attention after placing the box on the ground. I glanced down at it then back to him. “I’ll always find you interesting. Maybe even more if you just tell me your name.” I pout.

Have I mentioned that I don’t know his name? No? Yeah, don’t know it. 

“Soon.” He reaches over and messes up my hair. I smack his hand away. Attempting to fix what he did. “I hope so.” I cross my arms. 

“I wish you could guess it. You didn’t even try hard enough.” He exclaims, my jaw drops at his words. “I can’t think of anything else! It has to be some sort of crazy unique name!” I utter, throwing my hands in the air. He lets out a belly laugh, “It’s not super unique.” He shrugs his shoulders. 

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes, jokingly annoyed. “I told you my name.” I murmur. “That’s because you’re not mysterious like me.” He purses out his lips, doing a little peace sign. “I know almost everything else about you. You are not mysterious.” I point a finger at his chest. “Really? What’s my favorite color?” 

“You tell people it’s blue but it’s actually yellow. Like dandelion yellow.” I raise my brows, making a face that expresses that he should try me. “Okay, pssh, lucky guess. Favorite food?” 

“Halibut, but only when it’s fried because you’re weird.” I tease, his eyes seem to widen at my words. “See, not so mysterious, huh?” I cross my arms. “Two things. That’s all you answered.” He walks away over to the living room. Plopping down on the couch. I stand up, rushing over to him. Bouncing on the cushion beside him. My hands holding his shoulder as I shake him. “Then ask more questions. I have the answers~” I sang out, leaning back. 

“Fine, how old am I?” He raises a brow. I put a finger on my chin, pretending like I was thinking. “21.” I simply say. “Okay, I never told you that. How’d you get that?” He scrunches his nose in confusement. I laugh. “Honestly I truly guessed that time. I’m 21 and I always figured we were the same age.” I snicker. 

“Wow, okay. Next question, how many siblings do I have?” I think back to conversations we’ve had or the time I bumped into his brother Mylo. He always talks about a girl named Powder. I want to say there’s one more though. I just can’t remember…

“... three?” I estimate. “Or two.” I perk up my posture. “Hm, it’s three. You really do listen.” He hums out. “Yeah, it’s Mylo, Powder and I’m sorry but I don’t think I ever got the last one’s name.” I press my lips together, trying to rack it in my head. “Violet. She passed away when we were younger.” He sighs, I look at him through my eyelashes not wanting to make full eye contact as my heart drops.. 

“I’m sorry.” I whisper. “It’s alright, [Name]. You didn’t know.” He gives me a smile. It goes silent between the both of us. “Um… can I ask how? If not I totally understand. I don’t want to push that topic.” I shake my hands at the thought of forcing him to say something he wasn’t comfortable with.

“We were doing a stupid thing in Piltover. Sneaking into someone’s house. Just trying to get a few things for our dad. Extra money in his pocket. Something exploded. The impact unfortunately killed Vi.” He seems spaced out as he tells the story. I reach out and grab his hand.

I remember when that incident happened. It was all anyone talked about for a while. An undercity child passes away in an explosion after breaking into a scientist’s home. My mom… was an ass about the situation. 

“Any more questions?” I make an effort to switch the conversation so he doesn’t get upset due to my questioning of his sister's death like the dumb idiot that I am.

He looks down at my hand that was on top of his. “Claggor.” He suddenly says. I scrunch my eyebrows together. “Claggor?” I question, was that something I had to answer? “My name.” He mutters out. 

My mouth goes into the shape of an 'o.' Claggor... An interesting name for an interesting man like him.

“Hm… cute. It fits you.” I squeeze his hand before letting go. I didn’t even notice the dusty rose color across his cheeks. He mutters out a small thanks before we continue the conversation of me knowing certain things about him.

The entire time I think back to his sister, my chest aching. They were only kids trying to help their father. Not knowing that one of them wasn’t going to make it back home. How devastating. 

“You okay, [Name]?” He sits up, turning his body to face me. I fake a smile, waving him off. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just thinking. Sorry.” How am I supposed to be his friend if I carry guilt that has nothing to do with me? How can I like him and not be able to understand him? It’s idiotic looking. It makes me look selfish, turning other people's problems into my own. “Thinking about?” 

“Your name. How I never guessed it.” I force out a chuckle that sounds like a high pitched animal making me wince in embarrassment afterwards. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks me again. 

“I’m fine, Claggor.” His name rolls off my tongue easily. Like it was meant to be said from my lips.

“I remembered I have somewhere I need to be. My mom will kill me if I’m late. See you later?” I ask him, blinking tears away as I abruptly get up. “Um, yeah. Tomorrow?” He gets up with me, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah, I can’t. Family thing.” I lied. “Oh, maybe the next night? Mylo wants me to go to this party where his crush is djing. I do not want to go.” He laughs, walking me to his front door. My stomach flips, not knowing how to respond. “Maybe, I’ll let you know the day of.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Okay, okay. I don’t mean to cling. I just like spending time with you.” He smiles softly. I avoid eye contact. “Me too, Claggor.” I whisper before pulling him into an embrace. 

He lets out a small yelp of surprise before his hands slowly snake around my waist. “You’re a good friend, [Name].” He mumbles into my shoulder. Tears begin to threaten my eyes once again. “You’re a better one.” I pat his back before letting go. “See you.” I curtly wave before leaving. 

Man, I’m an idiot. 

It’s the day of the party, I haven’t left my bed since I came home after leaving Claggor’s house. My head racing with a million thoughts about how selfish and ridiculous I am. Cringing at all the conversations I’ve had with my friends about the Undercity. How incredibly obnoxious it always sounded. 

How strange I look just being this upset about everything. I wonder if Claggor thought the same about me. How strange it was that a girl was so wrapped up into his struggles. I would never want to tell him that either because I’m overthinking. I know I am. 

He’s my friend. He would tell me if I was being over the top.

Right? 

Right.

Stop it brain. 

A knock at my door echoes in my room. “Yes?” I call out, not bothering to get up. The door creaks open. “[Name] there’s someone here to see you.” A house worker tells me. I sit up, tilting my head confused on who would be here. “Um, tell them I’ll be right down.” I say, climbing out of bed. “Yes, ma’am.”

I grab my robe from my vanity, throwing it on over my pajamas. I slip my feet into my house slippers. I look like a mess but I don't care. It’s probably just a school mate to ask about some homework we have. 

I exit my room, heading down the stairs. I see Claggor and my body freezes in place. Staring down at him. Shit. I look like a mess! And that is not a school mate. 

He was looking around my home before his eyes locked with mine. His face erupts into a smile. “Just wake up or something?” He teases and my face flushes in response. “Uh- yeah, slept in.” I awkwardly chuckle, walking towards him. “How’d you know my address?” I asked him. “Also, why are you here?” 

“Well, first I bumped into one of your friends I met before. She told me you lived here. Second ouch, I can just leave if you want me to.” He points to the front door and I roll my eyes. “Sorry, sorry. I was just wondering, I was gonna come to you.” I cross my arms, and when I do his eyes flicker down to what I’m wearing.

Suddenly I’m extremely aware of how I look. My hair a mess, face puffy, and wearing a fancy robe with slippers. Weird combination. 

“I felt like when you left yesterday it was a bit… off? You seemed like you were about to cry so I thought I’d come here and maybe talk to you about that.” He fidgets with his hands, I observe his demeanor. He seemed extremely anxious. “Oh, I told you I was fine. Might’ve had something in my eye.” I shrug lying straight out of my teeth. 

“You know how I said you are not mysterious like me?” He asks. “Vaguely.” I smile but not understanding why he’s saying that. “It’s because you aren’t a mystery at all. Maybe I’m not either since you seem to know quite a bit about me. Anyways, not the point.” He lets out a heavy breath. “You don’t hide your emotions well. You’re an open book just by looking at you.” He chuckles and I tense up, feeling a little offended. He notices and sighs.

“What I mean is, when I first met you I knew you were a very empathetic person. Your emotions are what drives you to be who you are. I really enjoy that about you. I never thought someone could cry over a bug they killed until I met you.” He laughs at the memory of when we were hanging out one day at the bar and a bug was on the floor by my foot. I stomped on it and immediately felt bad. Thinking about the fact that it could’ve had a family. 

“You care so deeply for people you’ve never met. Wanting them to succeed even if it means you are risking your own happiness to do so.” He says softer than all his other words. “I hope you know that you have never upset me by asking your questions.” His eyes find mine and I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. He read me like a book. He practically studied me. I don’t even know how to respond. 

“I know that’s why you got upset. My sister passing away. I don’t mind that you asked. It happened as unfortunate as it is. You didn’t know and you wanted to. Because you care.” He places a hand on my shoulder. I look down at his arm then back to his face. “Please don’t feel bad for caring.” 

My eyes begin to water and I pull him into a hug. “I don’t deserve your friendship.” I mumble into his chest. “I think you do.” He disagrees. 

“I like you, Claggor.” I told him. “Like a lot. I care for you more than anyone else I’ve ever met. I’m scared that I can’t be what you need. I want to be. Everything and more.” I confess, pulling away from him. “Did you know that? Was I not hiding that emotion well either?” I try to uplift the mood. 

“I didn’t have a clue actually.” He grins. “I like you as well. Like a lot. You are everything I need and more. I promise you that.” He pulls me back into his arms, looking down at me as I look up at him. 

He closes the distance between us, his lips landing on mine. It was a short, soft kiss but it was something I never felt before. Shivers sent down my spine. I flutter my eyelids open, both of us smiling ear to ear like giddy little kids. Taking in the moment for a few seconds.

“Does that mean you’re going to join me at this party that I’m soooo excited about?” He sarcastically asks and I giggle in response. “I guess so. I definitely need to clean myself up first though.” I motion to my hot mess of a state that I’m in. “I think you look beautiful in this. Don’t even need to worry about changing.” He jokes and I lightly hit his arm. 

“What a liar.” I fold my arms. “Hm, maybe a little. Want me to come back to pick you up?” 

“You could hang out in my room while I get ready. Maybe choose my outfit?” I propose and his eyes light up. “Yeah, let’s go.” He happily responds. 

[yellowhollyhock]

you know the hardest thing about 07 fanfic is getting around the gaping plot hole of 'your training ended a year ago and Master Splinter says you've stopped writing'

Like? What am I supposed to believe here? That Leo's gone for an extra year (twice as long as he's supposed to be gone), nobody goes looking for him, he stops writing, and nobody's reaction is 'Leo is either in serious danger or dead?' Everybody assumes he just decided not to come home?? And they're right???? Like we don't see much of Leo's personality but from what we do see, a year is a long time to just not write and not let anyone know he was gonna be late

That just doesn't. Make any sense.

So here's me trying to make sense of it

When Leo first left, Raph became the Nightwatcher (as per prequel comics). Mikey starts his Cowabunga Carl thing, with Donnie's help, and enjoys it a lot for a while. It's the only time he's getting out after all. Other than training, which is not going well without Leo. Donnie's not a very firm leader, barely wants to be doing it himself. Raph is checked out and short-fused. Master Splinter tries to intervene but that largely looks like scolding and isn't much help at all.

Mikey knows Raph is the Nightwatcher. In the beginning Donnie thought he must not be, because of an instance here or there where he was too harsh, too reckless, couldn't be their brother, he would never do that. Mikey responded by pointing out the good things and arguing over the debatable things and reminding Donnie of the trouble Raph can get himself into when he's fixed on a goal or acts from a place of anger. Donnie sees the schedules continue to line up and has to concede, but that leads to the question: what is Raph so angry about? And while they haven't come up with an answer, privately Donnie assumes it's at him (for not being the kind of leader Leo was).

Four months after Leo leaves, they're still training every morning and going out occasionally. Six months in, they still train most days. Master Splinter has asked them not to go out together because of how they treat each other during training. Mikey likes his job less and also clings to it more as it becomes the only way he's ever getting out. By the time Leo should be home in a month, while each of them still practice, training together is rare.

That's when they get a letter from Leo that he might be late, and isn't sure how late.

So he's a week late. Donnie is researching every boat and airplane that left from Japan (last known general location) trying to guess what's likely to have caused the delay and extrapolate where Leo might currently be.

Two weeks late. Mikey is planning such a big homecoming party that increases in intensity with every night Leo's not there. It might be tonight, we have to be ready. He's not taking gigs and Donnie's getting stressed about money.

Raph is being the Nightwatcher and only sees his brothers for a brief time in the evenings--and lately those evening have been all about Leo. He's watching them both worry themselves sick. He'd actually allowed himself to be excited for Leo to come home, imagined they could have a good time together if he had a chance to pull him aside and talk to him about the thing he hasn't talked to anyone about: Merryweather's death. It's his big brother he wants to tell and he can't explain the Nightwatcher to his family until he's had that conversation with Leo. They fought about it before Leo left and he needs him to understand.

But now he's getting angry. Where is he? Donnie expresses concern that Something Happened; Master Splinter insists they must stay calm and not give up hope.

Three weeks late. Donnie is now insisting Mikey get focused back on work. At this point Donnie is still being Mikey's driver, in the headset and on standby every time Mikey goes out. Mikey wants him to back off (I can do this myself) so that at least someone will be home to greet Leo since Mikey might not be (your fault for making me go to work). Donnie is really hurt by the implied 'don't need you anymore' and feels guilty (which somebody really should) that Mikey's the breadwinner for the whole family. Even more guilty now that he thinks his help was more for his pride than because Mikey ever needed him.

Then a letter from Leo. Sorry for not contacting you sooner, I'm safe and well, hope I didn't worry you. I'll be at least another month. Much shorter than his letters used to be; they're more worried than ever. And this time the return address is way off course from what they thought was his path home. What's going on?

Mikey wants to write to him. Everyone else points out they don't know where to send the letters. Donnie is back to obsessing over maps, train schedules, weather patterns, anything that might hint at an explanation. Between their jobs and worrying about Leo, Raph doesn't understand how either of his brothers can still stand upright.

He becomes more aggressive out in the streets. He's worried and confused and pretty steamed at Leo for giving them nothing to go by. And even more angry at who or what could have hurt him badly enough that he doesn't want to tell his family what's going on. He's quicker to hit and more hasty to decide who the bad guy is.

Donnie and Mikey see the change. Donnie starts openly criticizing the Nightwatcher every chance he gets (trying to get Raph to fess up or better yet stay home or at the very least see that he's going too far sometimes and needs to take a break). Mikey responds by doubling down on his defense and praise for the Nightwatcher (also wants Raph to confess and knows he won't when Don's talking like that, wildly hoping to be invited along, wanting to keep Raph safe but also eager himself to have a space to let out his own building anger).

And what's Mikey angry at? The fact that Master Splinter hasn't done anything. He's satisfied with Leo's explanation. Doesn't seem concerned, like Raph and Donnie are, that something went wrong. Master Splinter replies that the Ninja Tribunal is wise and at times unpredictable. They may have thought it right to extend Leonardo's training. Donnie points out that the return address for Leo's recent letters are not in Japan; did the Tribunal travel with him? Master Splinter doesn't have an answer and still insists on remaining calm and hopeful.

Now it's been two months, one week past the second time Leo was supposed to be home. Mikey plans a party again, this time with much less support from his frazzled, sleep-deprived brothers who are trying not to get their hopes up. Raph tries to keep Mikey from getting his hopes up either. That doesn't go over well.

After three months, they get another letter, another apology with no explanation, this time saying he has no idea when he'll come home, but don't worry, he's coming.

Raph has been seeing night after night what the world can be like. He's convinced something unspeakable happened or will happen to Leo, but he can't tell anyone that. He wants to go after him, but how is he supposed to find him? The best he can do for Leo is the same he did for Merryweather: be the hero they can't be anymore. Make people who are careless with others' lives Pay. And somehow he has to keep it from his family that he thinks Leo's gone gone, or might be soon; they couldn't take it. They don't know the world like he does. He can protect them from this, for a while.

Donnie thinks Leo must need help, and that's driving him crazy because he doesn't know how to reach him. But he's going to find a way. He starts planning and saving up for parts to build his mutant finding matrix thingy. After their argument he doesn't want to ask for Mikey's help paying, and it wouldn't be right since he's been really trying to let him be more independent. He finds a job. Mikey seems bothered, they talk and work out a better working relationship that allows Mikey more independence and pays each of them separately (Mikey of course making more because he's doing more). Now with the call line job supplementing that he's able to ease the burden on Mikey and April of providing for the family (he knows Casey's been worried about the kind of work April's been taking) and he can buy the parts he needs to find Leo, go after him and bring him home. He's going to fix this for everybody.

Six months after the first time Leo was supposed to come home, Mikey finally gives up hope. He's been secretly sending letters to different places he thinks Leo might be. He stops. He's hidden nightmares about what could happen to Leo for months. He stops asking for Raph or Donnie to go skateboarding with him, stops insisting on family nights every Saturday. He gets closer to Splinter, who he's seen a change in and knows, in spite of continued insistence to stay calm and not give up hope, Master Splinter gave up a while ago. Donnie says he's just getting old (he's been very worried about his health and is becoming more micromanager about it every day), but Mikey knows it's more than that. He sees the depression Splinter is hiding. Splinter doesn't notice the same in him.

Around that time, they finally get one more letter. Leo says that he's not going to be in a place where he can get paper or postage, so they also won't be hearing from him. He doesn't say anything about coming home.

Raph had thought Leo was dead; the letter makes him furious (he's been mourning in secret for nothing? Is Leo even in trouble or just decided not to come back?). Donnie is thrilled by it; not being able to send a letter actually might help him narrow down where Leo is, and they have a more recent return address now. He's about ready to pack up and go get him, something he assumes Raph will be on board with.

Well, Raph can't leave, and he can't tell his family why (they know why). He and Donnie have a screaming match. Raph wants to know how this return address is any different from the letters before, and why they didn't go then. Donnie brings up Raph not seeing Leo off at the airport when he first left. Raph asks if Donnie's even been training. Mikey suspects it got physical, but if it did they both hide the bruises well and they're not saying a thing.

Raph starts going straight to his room when he gets back in the early morning, and staying in his room until he can hear that the rest of them have gone to bed. Once in a while he'll come out to argue if he overhears something that sets him off.

Mikey would go with Donnie to get Leo, but Donnie says Raph's right, he'll have moved on by the time they get there, it's the same as every other return address. He just needs more time to figure out where Leo actually is.

Mikey is starting to think they've run out of time, but just like Raph, he doesn't want to say that.

Batnapping happens like eight months in. Master Splinter is deeply bothered by it, gets stricter, asks his sons not to go out until Leo gets home. Raph has to get sneakier. Mikey had to negotiate to keep his job (Donnie helps). At this point Donnie is the only one who almost never leaves the sewers; April tries to get him to her place as often as possible, usually finding that asking for help is most effective.

And that's how they all live for fourish months before Leo finally (unexpectedly) returns.

[thatguyisdrowning]

thoughts on arcane season 2

spoilers below

season 2 was definitely giving "trying to wrap up an insanely large cast of characters stories in only 9 episodes" and none of them were really given the care they deserved. it all happened so fast that it was a little confusing at first.

the entire isha thing feels so manufactured. she just appears, "fixes" jinx, then dies/is implied to have died but we don't actually know for certain because we never see her death. and then there's the entire lack of any proper mention of her in act 3. where did she come from? where did she go? where did she come from cotton eye joe? why did warwick survive but not isha if he was the one to actually get shot?

jinx also seemed to mellow out far too quickly, i think if we had a third season and it was spread out more it would feel more authentic. i was expecting her to lose it again in the aftermath of isha's death but she didn't. yes, grief to the point of not caring about herself anymore and just wanting to get vi (the only person she has left) to safety makes sense however it doesn't match up with anything we've seen from jinx in the past. if she'd had a longer time getting to be happy with her family of 4 and healing herself it'd make more sense but she didn't. i think a downward spiral before some sort of realization that she doesn't want to be like this anymore/doesn't want to harm other children like isha/something along those lines would have been more conducive to a well rounded story and conclusion when it comes to the isha/jinx relationship. but for this to happen, we needed more time.

the way jinx's character was written, the way her story played out, it would have made sense for her to take her own life and been a satisfying conclusion. however, because i know she didn't actually die i'm pleased she didn't commit suicide because i like her, her character, her champion, and her story and i want to be able to see more of it all in future projects from riot. and for that to happen the "death" needed to be a little uncertain. the "oh no the metal beam is breaking, guess i better sacrifice myself to save my sister" trope is very overused and hard to do well because of that, but i did like the way they implied jinx was still alive at the end.

jayce and viktor's story was confusing and rushed, while also being the main focal point and the most fleshed out story of the whole show. if viktor knew he and jayce were meant to be together in every timeline, why was he trying to fuck shit up? again, if we had more time in the form of a third season or perhaps longer episodes in season 2, we would have seen their story explored in more depth and had a greater understanding of it.

vi's character was watered down by the inclusion of a single line: "i am the dirt under your nails, cupcake." as something said in passing it wouldn't have held as much weight, but this was one of the last things she said on screen. it essentially boils her character down to nothing but a supporting character for caitlyn when the entire series began and ended with vi and jinx's relationship.

"are you still in this fight, violet?" what fight? against jinx? no, caitlyn seems to have forgiven her and as far as we know vi still thinks she's dead. against noxus? no, mel's in charge (but is she? we see swain make an appearance...) against the undercity? no, they've made peace and sevika is on the council. against singed? no, he's saved his daughter so will live happily ever after now, right? against jayce and viktor? no, they had some weird story conclusion and also died in the astral realm, killing their earthly bodies but realistically they could have survived. i don't want them to have survived, but they could have. all i can think is either she was referring to their relationship OR to their future as enforcers which would make sense in the league lore.

the death of 4 major characters (not including heimer or jinx i'm 100% sure they arent dead) and what it means for the lore and their champions is just??? brushed over??? their champions almost definitely won't be removed but a tiny part of me wishes they would be for continuity and lore reasons.

i wish we were given more insight into what noxus is like now after ambessa's death. mel is seen to be ruling now but in the league lore, swain is the ruler of noxus. it's common knowledge that arcane lore is replacing league lore where necessary/sometimes where it isn't necessary, so it wouldn't make sense but would be easily passed off if we just didn't see any mention of swain, but we do see him (or to be specific, one of his ravens). while i wish we were given some clarity here, i think it was a smart move to not explicity reveal who swain is because to those who know it all but confirms the villian for the next netflix series set in runeterra, but it also leaves the venue open for the story to take an entirely different path, because arcane only fans won't know who he is, and for the league fans it can somehow be passed off as an irrelevant appearance in arcane.

some other points i don't have fully fleshed out thoughts/opinions on:

i would've liked to have seen more of felicia's story

i don't think jayvik should've kissed, the forehead touch was just as, if not more meaningful

the story of singed's daughter wasn't explored as much as it should have been, especially considering it's a huge part of why shimmer was ever created and of the pre-existing league lore

while there are parts of the story i found unsatisfying, i'm totally in love with all of the characters and the artistry. while almost all of the female leads fit perfectly into specific overused tropes, they turned those tropes on their head and executed them well. the women in arcane are attractive but they all have agency. ekko is the best side character ever written. they wrote the "morally grey" characters really well. it's plain to see the writers spent so much time and energy on creating these perfect characters. the artists knocked it out of the park, arcane is the most visually appealing animated show i've ever seen. arcane is a masterpiece in so many ways and i look forward to seeing what's to come :)

if you've read this far, first of all go outside (kidding of course), and second, let me know your thoughts and if you agree/disagree. if you have any theories on what's to come next, let me know!

[ikkyfics]

James Potter x slytherin!reader

Summary: His ambition was to want what he could not have. James was the greatest proof of that.

Warnings: Platonic Love, Angst

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“How are you even in Slytherin?” Sirius exclaimed, visibly exasperated.

You sighed, already used to that same old tune. It wasn’t the first time you’d had this discussion, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. But was a little peace too much to ask? It was the last day of summer, with the deliciously warm sun shining in a bright blue sky, and a cool lake right in front of you. Surely, they could find better things to do.

“Get over it,” you retorted with a dismissive wave of your hand, taking the opportunity to adjust the hat on your head.

Sirius clutched his chest with exaggerated flair, as if your words had struck him. Always so dramatic.

“So cruel. I’m starting to worry that spending so much time in that snake pit has done irreparable damage—ow!”

He let out a yelp as you threw an empty plastic bottle at him, hitting him square in the chest and leaving a red mark blooming on his skin.

“Bloody hell, that hurt!” He shot you a wounded look. “I think I’m starting to understand now.”

“You asked for it, Padfoot,” James said, his tone dry, a subtle smirk curling at the edges of his lips.

James. Always him. Always there.

“Wow, why am I not surprised? You’re always ready to defend your protégé, aren’t you, Potter?” Sirius quipped.

You looked down, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. It was silly—you knew it was—but it was inevitable. James was your friend. Just that: a friend. And nothing more. Ever.

Sirius would never really understand, you thought, as a small, awkward laugh escaped your lips. In truth, none of the Marauders seemed to grasp how someone as sweet as you had ended up in Slytherin. But what they couldn’t see was the fierce ambition smoldering deep inside you—ambitions greater than you could bear, ambitions that burned like embers hidden beneath ashes. It was those embers that had made the Sorting Hat whisper decisively about the House of the Serpent. You’d never told them, but you knew the reason.

Your ambition was wanting what you could never have. James was the ultimate proof of that.

“Lily would love this,” James suddenly said, pointing up at the sky as he watched the clouds with a smile. “The colors, the light… She likes things like this.”

Your chest tightened. The smile on his face as he spoke about Lily was almost too painful to witness. He seemed lost in thought, as if her presence were a star he was always trying to reach, even when it was galaxies away. But you were good at hiding your feelings. You always had been.

“She really likes lakes?” Sirius teased. “How fascinating, Prongs. Maybe we should get a private one for the wedding.”

James laughed, the sound ringing out like a melody across the valley. Even when Sirius teased, he never concealed his admiration for Lily. You, on the other hand, felt every word like a needle piercing the fragile barrier around your heart.

James turned to you, smiling in that way only he could—so warm, so unassuming. He ruffled your hair lightly, a gesture he’d been doing since your first years at Hogwarts.

“You’re awfully quiet today. Something about the water spooking you?”

You shook your head, trying to mask the flush creeping across your face. He was so close, the sunlight glinting off the droplets of water on his bare chest. James had changed over the years, growing taller and broader, his lean muscles rippling with every subtle movement. He was only wearing swim trunks, and the sight alone made your heart race.

“Just enjoying the warmth, James. Unlike you, I don’t feel the need to make noise all the time.”

“She’s got you there, James,” Sirius chuckled.

The relief was fleeting, but the sense of closeness lingered in the air. You could hardly look at him directly, because every moment by his side was a silent battle between yearning and reality. He’d never know—he could never know.

Later, when you finally gave in to James’s insistence and waded into the lake, things momentarily felt lighter. He splashed around you, tugging on your arm to lead you into the deeper water. At one point, his hands found your waist to steady you, and the feeling of his touch burned into your memory. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.

“You’re looking too serious again,” he said, swimming alongside you. “I don’t like it when you get like this.”

You forced a smile, trailing your fingers across the lake’s crystalline surface.

“I’m fine, James,” you replied, avoiding his gaze. “I’m always fine.”

He looked at you, his expression softening. And there was something in that look, something that made you want to believe—just for a fleeting moment—that maybe he could truly see you. But then he reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face, and said with the same gentle voice he always used:

“You’re important to me, you know that?” He remained close, the pads of his fingers pressed gently against her chin, lifting her head so their eyes could meet. “Don’t forget that.” You nodded weakly, intoxicated by his closeness. Even in the cool water, he radiated warmth.

If only he knew… If only he knew those words only fed your foolish hope.

Hours later, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the conversation turned once more to Lily, you drifted away. Sitting at the lake’s edge, watching the reflection of the sky shift from gold to purple, Sirius’s words echoed in your mind: “How are you even in Slytherin?”

But you knew. You knew you’d been chosen because of the ambitions that consumed you. You wanted everything, and yet you knew you’d never have anything. Because no matter how deep your yearning for love, it was just a foolish dream.

You looked at James in the distance, his laughter filling the air. And then, almost inaudibly, you whispered to yourself, as if trying to bury the thought forever:

“They were nothing but foolish ambitions.”

[kiwakiol]

Part 2

Okay this idea is not letting me alone so I will add some more ideas I had. It's again way to late (2am). This Is more of a telling the a story. (Also free to use this for inspo if someone wants to turn this in a fanfic) 

Disclaimer : I'm Dislexic

Part 1

Hugh wakes up in Wades one room apartment in Logan's body, I would say about 1-2 months after the D&W movie. The fist thing he noticed is that every seems slightly different and he is hit with Logan's enhanced sense. Like everything is more vibrant he hears a lot of small things and not to forget the smells, I imagine that Wades apartment dose have a lot of strong smells that are not necessarily bad but just extrem. So Hugh needs to adjust to that fist and and than realize he is not in his home but a room that looked a lot like the Filme set from the Deadpool movies. 

When he makes his way out of the room he is in another room that he finds oddly familiar he is hit with a extem sweet smell that he follows. Wade is in the kitchen making some breakfast unaware that his Logen was replaced with the Australian actor Hugh Jackman. Hugh on the other hand is more the confused why (what he assumed is Ryan in his Deadpool make up) was standing in front of him.  They were finish with film a long time ago? He is beyond confused. Wade finally noticed that  Hugh has entered kitchen and greets him with something like "Morning Honeybadger. How did my favorite miserable X-Men sleep?" What confuses Hugh even more.

"Why are was the film set? And why are you in full make up Ryan?" Hugh question the man I from of him who just stared at him with unbelieving eyes. "Are you messaging with me, Wolvie? I mean I appreciate that you try to fit my vibe but the 4 wall braking is my thing. I'm am impressed that you remember that I told you they I'm played by Ryan Reynolds, if I had a star sticker I would give it to you for good effort."

Hugh still not understanding what was happening just look at Wade, silence field the room. "Is this suppose to be at Prank Ryan ? You know I love you and all but that a bit much. Built up the complete fire set and all. You know I'm currently working on a completely different movie..."  Hugh stop himself trying to figure out the face of the man that looked at him realizing it was full of shock 

Wade started to feel like this wasn't a joke and the man in front of him was genuinely confused. "Wait do you actually think I'm Ryan Reynolds? "

"Yeah of course, wo else would you be, you know I appreciate your little joke but this is a lit far what is even supposed to be the pranked? " said Hugh still looking at Wade who was starting to loose even more of his already lost mind. -Okay everything is cool- he thought to himself. He knew Logen wasn't one to make this kind of jokes, this jokes where his thing. Which meant that this was probably not his Logen, if he was even Logen, considering he called him Ryan this only could mean one thing "Wail your Hugh Jackman?!"

To how they could swap bodys maybe something paradox related I read a few fanfic where he came back to mess with Logan and Wade, or something went wronywit the timeline and now they have to figure out how to fix it. Maybe they try to contact the TVA or the X-Men to help.

Some prompt like idea:

- Wade desperately trying to explain Hugh that he is actually Wade. 

- Hugh being way to overwhelmd by all the new things he can hear/ smell

- Wade asking Hugh all kind of things about our world.

- Logens realization that his complete life is nothing more then a movie to entertain people in or world

- Ryan has to get used to Logen not being as calm and silly as Hugh.

- Logen seeing videos of Hugh and is surprised how joyful he is

- Logan bring pissed and confused why his claws don't come out and of no healing factor means he has to figure out how to be more careful in general.

- Ryan and Logan at Disneyland

- Ryan realizing that the multiverse exists and is not only a movie.

- Hugh experiences the horrors of 3 adamantium claws popping from his knuckles 

- Hugh being worried about Wade being hurt because he is not use to people just healing 

I will do a part 3 if I get any more ideas, no promises though. This entire idea just came from me daydreaming to music because I can't sleep.

[oldrockformations]

Physically disabled fan here and I have so many thoughts about the ending and Viktor’s whole arc in general!!!

A large part of Viktor’s character is his own feelings of inadequacy. A good portion of those feelings stem from him being a Zaunite, but a ton of it also stems from his disability. We see it in his flashback, when he avoids other kids his age. We see it in the way he lets Jayce be the figurehead for Hextech, when he refuses to go on stage despite Jayce wanting him there. And he has a valid reason to feel this way—he is unwelcome in Piltover. Jayce and Heimerdinger seem to be the only people who don’t treat him like absolute shit, not to mention Piltover’s lack of accessibility (note the emphasis on Salo’s wheelchair going down stairs). So it’s no wonder Viktor harbors a lot of internalized ableism. It’s what the world has shown him he should feel.

And this internalized ableism, as well as the ableism he experiences externally, is what causes him to push himself so hard. He wants to help people, and he feels he hasn’t done enough. He needs to prove himself. So when he realizes he’s dying, he abandons his own morals in favor of extending his life (note his reaction to Rio as a kid, vs him saying he understands now as he is the one dying) and continuing his work. But when he uses the hexcore to try to cure his terminal illness, the first thing it changes is his leg. All of this shows early on that Viktor is willing to cross lines in order to fix what he considers “weakness.”

Now this whole time, Jayce has always viewed Viktor as his complete equal. The reason Jayce and Viktor work so well together is they provide new perspectives for each other. Jayce is a dreamer, and Viktor shows him reality. But when Jayce gets too caught up in politics and forgets his own privilege (the whole “I’m from the undercity” scene) Viktor feels betrayed. Jayce has abandoned him, and he throws himself into his work, becoming even more reckless and resulting in the death of Sky. And at this point, Viktor is overcome with guilt and believes he is unlovable, to the point that he is suicidal.

I’ve seen a lot of folks saying that Viktor’s arc in season 2 was wildly out of character, or that the writing was ableist, but I think they’re missing the point. At the start of season 2, Viktor is still mentally at rock bottom. I don’t think his change from “I am wracked with guilt because I acted recklessly during an emotional crisis and got someone killed” to “emotions are a flaw and I need to rid myself of them” is that far of a leap considering the circumstances. Especially once you factor in the hexcore messing with his head and using a manifestation of his guilt (Sky) to manipulate him. Viktor has always wanted to help people, and when you combine that with his internalized ableism, it makes sense that he would turn to “fixing” people’s disabilities if given the chance. He genuinely believes he is helping people like he always wanted, and he’s receiving the validation and respect he craves.

So when Jayce “kills” him, effectively killing everyone Viktor has “healed,” he is once again faced with overwhelming guilt and, not knowing how to handle that, he sinks further into the mindset of the Machine Herald. He avoids taking accountability by letting the arcane take control and he justifies his actions with this Glorious Evolution.

So when Jayce, a man Viktor still loves despite everything, looks him in the eye and tells him that he is beautiful, disabilities and all, Viktor doesn’t know how to rationalize that. It doesn’t fit into his current worldview. At this point, Viktor knows that Jayce has a bad leg, he’s fought him. And Jayce is still here saying that it does not make him weak. Ableism and self hatred are ingrained so deeply within Viktor that being told he is worthy of love shatters his mask, literally and figuratively. We see his face again, and he gives up his facade of being this emotionless herald.

Jayce’s message was cheesy as hell, but it was less so about actual disability, and more so about the mindset that is drilled into you when you are disabled. I think it’s impactful to me at least because Jayce chooses to say this instead of fighting. By all accounts he should be trying to kill Viktor, but he risks everything to tell Viktor how much he loves him. That he always has and that there is nothing that could change it. It didn’t come off like a motivational poster like that type of shit usually does, it sounded like an expression of devotion.

That’s my take anyway sorry for writing a whole ass essay lmao. I am very normal about Viktor arcane and I am tired of seeing his character arc being misinterpreted!! Big win for gay people and a massive L for ableism

i’d really like to hear some disabled fans’ takes on the ending of arcane season 2!

because however cute jayce’s sentiment is, when he said:

«but you were never broken, there is beauty in imperfections»

my first instinct was:

«yeah, easy to say when you haven’t experienced being sick and in pain literally your whole life your body failing you in countless ways…»

but that’s only from absorbing stuff my disabled friends have said (i’m able bodied), so if any disabled folks in the fandom wanna weigh in, i’d love to hear your thoughts and takes!

[theinfinitedivides]

i have been trying to start Maqbool for the last three days and each time something has either distracted me so i don't end up starting it or everything has gone to so much sh*t there is no way i would even consider starting it (aka today, one of the worst days i've had in a while where i got nothing done and still felt bad about it),,,,,, i am asking for myself but does the curse of the play carry over to adaptations in foreign languages. is that a thing

[benevolenterrancy]

"Heavens, he doesn't understand again." "Every time he says 'I don't understand', Lui-shixiong grabs someone to demonstrate until he understands..." Ji Jue quietly complained to Shang Qinghua. No wonder the injuries at Bai Zhan Peak had only increased!

so this is obviously Liu Qingge's entire love language, right?

[thranduel]

how was this monologue real

[lovelyrotter]

ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means

[anistarrose]

terrible breaking news: person who shares your exact queer headcanon for Blorbo is also baselessly saying said queer identity is "basically canon" and unambiguously the author's intent, therefore making you look bad for sharing that headcanon while they go about giving the creators way too much credit

[literalfuckingfreak]

also while im on it i dont care how magic a character is not everyone needs to have colored eyes. its like. fine to give people dark brown/ black eyes even if theyre "magical" or some shit.

[cathymee]

maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.