#i am truly at a loss
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anyone know what we're supposed to do when aot ends
#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#i am truly at a loss#i guess just watch it again#and force other people to watch#so we can live vicariously through them#which i have already started to do prematurely
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sooo... @ranilla-bean wrote a fic The Iconoclast beta read by @faux-fires but before rana and i got to talk lots about sout eats asian clothing and khmer cuture and... i stat down... drew the first one... and the other two. enojoy?
#atla#zuko#druk#ahhh i am not sure how to tag this....#but look at druk!!! look how cute druk is!!!#WE HAVE BEEN ROBBED!#no acctuallyi have been robbed because i asked for 'tiny arms???' on druk#because its cute and hillarious but...#its not accurate...#sadly...#and i also lost smal thin squiggly mustache debate....#which is truly a loss if you ask me!
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Okay, this is my third time trying to put this into words. I am very upset, hurt, and honestly terrified. I’m about to share a lot about myself, my family, and a very scary situation happening right now, so for my own safety, I won’t provide too many details.
I live in a secondary city in a South American country. The Jewish community here is very small—around 5,000 people total out of over 50 million. In my city, which has over 3 million people, there are only about 300 Jews. We’re literally on the other side of the world from Israel.
We own a family business, a small clothing factory where we make knitted garments. It was founded by my grandmother 48 years ago. My father is the current manager, and both my sister and I work there. We employ around 80 people. We pay fair and legal wages (not the industry standard in my country), and although times are really hard, we’ve never missed a payment, not once in our 48 years in business. My father paused his own salary and hasn’t received a cent since January, and my sister and I both stopped getting paid for three months. But the people who work with us have always received their salaries as they should.
Now, today, September 30th, (just a couple of days before the start of our high holidays and exactly one week before the first anniversary of October 7th) the biggest and most important public university in my city, in conjunction with the syndicate council, invited the Palestinian ambassador to give a conference about the current situation and the war. Well, apparently, it derailed into open antisemitism and ended up as a conference about how Jews are all thieves and scammers. Because, I kid you not, back in the '90s, a huge group of my country’s biggest companies went bankrupt and couldn’t pay their employees what they owed. One out of about 30 of those companies was owned by Jewish people. So, of course, "we Jews are all liars, scammers, and thieves, just like the Israelis—always trying to take what doesn’t belong to us"
So, what conclusion did they reach at this conference about Palestine and the current war happening on the other side of the world? Well, naturally, they decided to target Jewish-owned businesses in my city (which means our factory and two other small businesses in our area) to protest and vandalize, because we’re all thieves and scammers, and Israel is bad and horrible, and everyone in my city needs to be made aware of that. When are they planning to come? October 7th, of course, when else?
The only reason I even know about this is that one of my Jewish friends decided to attend the conference to hear from the Palestinian ambassador and, risking their own safety, stayed to hear the names of the businesses that are going to be targeted.
I'm hurt and scared and I've been trying not to cry since I found out. These are the people on the left, these we were supposed to be my people, I've marched with them, I've worked and voted with them. I don't know what to do? Please, please tell me how are they different from actual Nazis? How is this situation different from any other jew living in Europe in the 1930's? I guess shannah fucking tovah to me, as if last year wasn't a wake up call. I am fucking awake.
#if you had asked me yesterday i'd said that my city was not very antisemitic#i stand fucking corrected#we don't get to mourn in peace#and we don't get to celebrate our high holidays in peace#i am at a loss#i truly dont know what to do#i have a week to figure it out i guess#nice of them to give us time#this is my last straw by the way#not on the left anymore i guess i've officially been kicked out because im a dirty dirty jew#antisemitism#jumblr#jewblr#jewish#judaism#rosh hashanah#israel#palestine#october 7#october 7th
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camchase as a hilson parallel except it’s chase who is 100% wilson and cameron who is 160% house
#hate crimes md#malpractice posting#chameron#hilson#yes i'm tagging this hilson. bc i am right#trust me on this. it’s way more accurate this way.#sure chase us a house parallel in other ways but in this?#cameron who keeps self sabotaging and is afraid of failure and refuses to try#cameron who keeps trying to reduce the relationship to rational and emotionless terms#to make it scientific against all evidence and feeling#who is terrified of that kind of vulnerability#who has suffered terrible heartbreak and loss and lets it color every inch of her#who refuses to change and open up because that’s a loss of control#and chase who really truly believes if he tries hard enough it will make up for any lack#who is loyal to cameron to the end and takes all manner of neglect and thoughtlessness#not because he’s so selfless and wonderful and kind but because he’s just as screwed up#and knows it#and feels like cameron is maybe his only chance#maybe his first real chance#at any kind of love of affection#and spends most of his time looking desperately for connection in all the wrong ways#settling for the first people he sees#falling in love and being unable to sustain or fake it longer than a few days#i am. telling you.
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ban me from ibis paint x NOW
#if you guys get it... im sorry. i truly am#is this loss#cookie run kingdom#cr kingdom#crk#crunchy chip cookie#crunchy chip crk#cloud haetae cookie#cloud haetae crk#wildberry cookie#wildberry crk#caramel arrow cookie#caramel arrow crk#crk shitpost#ban me from ibis paint x#loss.jpg#loss.png
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having a lavellan who is kind of an absolute demon in her own right is so much fun because sure that cut content of "oh solas didnt deserve a happy ending but lavellan did" is lovely and worth centering in the conversation.... but you know what else hits? "oh my god i dont even care anymore" "if this is what it takes for them to both fucking LEAVE thedas then good riddance"
#datv#oc: ashara#datv spoilers#insane rant incoming. this is very much abt ashara but like i hope u can all see the vision for lavellans in general#bc honestly... i am such a big fan of lavellans who ALSO deserve some fade prison time . JDFGJHKDFG#like obviously she could NEVER deserve it as much as solas and the evanuris do. but like. maybe a LITTLE... womens rights womens wrongs !!!#ashara having the potential to heal solas by being the inverse of mythal. everything mythal was NOT#........while still matching his own personal freak by several concerning markers😍#up until trespasser the inquisitor truly WAS one of the closest things this world had to a demigod. w all the power/authority#- and loss of personhood - that comes with it. and the inevitable OVERREACH.... the meddling in affairs that effect the world at large...#unwittingly setting in motion things that ruin lives! destroy cities and communities and worse! and u cant even stop to rectify it#bc ur too integral to the Big Picture. that bright clear line from A to B... stuck up on that lonely towering pedestal you were forced onto#cant get down now girl its too far to fall !!!!!#mistake after mistake after mistake... just like solas....#i love the line ''you two were good for each other'' that rook can say in act 3 bc yeah lavellan can fix solas but like#maybe solas could fix lavellan too. theyre BOTH better together. their spirits mirror and adapt.... IDK !!! IDK! !!!! FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!!!#i think its why i personally am able to enjoy the ending more than others might. bc if ashara was more blameless i'd feel worse for her#but tbh as it stands........... well. gestures to the crimes.#anyway this whole convo is irrelevant ultimately bc it quite literally wont be terrible if theyre together <3
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the stars in your eyes...
#this episode. her loss of self in attaining “”normalcy“”... her clone trying to bring her back to her senses... her love for herslef....#i lvoe you aeon flux you're truly doing it in a way no one else has#aeon flux#sorry again to my followers. i am a little obsessed with her right now
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if you like ling and greed the most… have you perhaps considered… shipping greedling? 👀
Bold of you to assume I don't ship whatever the fuck Greed x Ling x Ed have going on at the same time
#there is just something about the 'dude that takes over your body that turns out is extremely lonely and just wants love' trope#believe me i ship them believe me very hard#greed was too hot to die it's a loss for the bisexual community (the bisexual community being ling and ed)#ed saying he knows ling is in there. ed telling greed to become allies. dude be pulling both he doesn't even think about it huh#greed is just so gay for these two i can't even put it into words maybe what he truly needed were friends and 2 boyfriends#and ling is so in love with them too like look me in the eyes and tell me his last scene with greed wasn't extremely romantic#jumping off a bridge honestly these three live in my mind rent free#fmab#greedling#edling#edgreed#?? i am guessing that's the ship name i am new here okay
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akanematic.mp4 (youtube link)
#I love how akane banashi discusses grief. I am pairing it with one of my fave songs about grief#akane banashi#issho arakawa#akane osaki#seb draws#it's so cool how everyone is grieving!!! each indiv chara in this vid is grieving for diff reasons diff ways and they all overlap <3#u know what i'm not done. i WILL go into this#kiroku is making space for grief by taking on the lost shiguma name. It’s he has lost miroku which is like losing a father. but he moves on#kiroku is the father figure for kisoba and rokuen that miroku couldn't be for kiroku. he literally carries kashiwaya (shiguma's art) w/him!#at the same time! kiroku DIES so soon after establishing the arakawa school and he tells kisoba 'you killed me'#this moment is the hammer in the coffin of issho's grief. he already blames himself bc it was HIS performance that resulted in#kiroku getting kicked out. a small death. and now he's told 'you killed me.' insane. Unless it was just a dream idk unclear#but again looking at how kiroku is characterized i don't think he meant to blame issho. it's very likely issho misinterpreted#just like when he misinterpreted what kiroku was trying to say when he started the arakawa school#and that brings us to the CURRENT SHIGUMA#who not only misses his mentor! but also his relationship with kisoba/issho!!!!! HE STILL CALLS HIM ANIKI IM SO SICK#I constantly think about the panel where he looks at issho with trepidation as issho says he will repent for the rest of his life.#that is when the disconnect started!!!! and it only became more extreme when he was taught shiguma's art but couldn't MASTER it!!!!#imagine how Issho felt abt shiguma wasting the opportunity he never got. and becomes even worse after shinta tries to carry shiguma's art#issho is like damn shiguma was too weak and now he brings me another weakling wtf is this!! he's out! expulsion! and ofc shiguma is mad.#but ofc WE all know what issho is TRULY mad abt is really just kiroku! and his own guilt his own grief wtfff#MY GOD.#WHICH BRINGS US TO AKANE#HER PARALLELS WITH ISSHO DRIVE ME CRAZYYYY#trying to avenge the loss of her father's rakugo!!!!!#AKane almost losing herself in her desire to copy her dad#AND!!! AUUGHGHGHGH i know folks were like HUH???? when akane was reflecting on how she could have gone on a dark path w/out shiguma#Bc didn’t she already love rakugo??? But see if we only focus on Loving the Art we become Issho.#think akane first zenza training arc and kibataraki. she loves the art but can't connect to the audience. now add crippling guilt.#Shinta Arakawa is dead and Akane accepted this. but she is still so angry. issho and akane are foils u see.
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deeply funny to me that i know of at least three chinese celebrities who have the cat breed sweetcorn is, and all of them have food names - there's zhou guanyu and sweetcorn, zhang yixing and luobo (radish), and wang zhuocheng and danta (egg tart). they're all so cute!!
Oh my god I needed to know this
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#i am at a loss for words the cuteness#I love these cats so much#and zhou truly LOVES sweetcorn#zhou#driver pets#egg tart is too much I love it
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honestly i think all batmans should be forbidden from yuletide. i just dont buy the claim that that one is in any way distinct from the other batmans especially because all batman fic produced in the last five years was already about Batman's Million Wholesome Sons
#you can go to any street corner and find tim drake there! why do it in rarefandom zone#box opener#i'm not against tim drake. i'll read some tim drake at times. i am just truly at a loss for how or why it's a yuletide fandom#it's the same canon! what's happening here.
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#thinking about how much having a kid changed my marriage#how much our dynamic changed afterwards#I think that was something I wasn’t really prepared for#and no one ever talked about it either#but it’s true#and im sure im not alone im sure plenty of couples experienced the same thing#but no one wants to talk about that#everyone has to pretend to be okay all the time#better than okay even#I hope that we can find a way to head in that direction together#I hope that we will find a new way to love each other#because there’s no going back to how it was#there’s just going forward#really hard pills to swallow honestly#because I thought I knew myself#that I knew everything there was to know about who I am what I’m capable of#but there was a whole other side when I became a mom#I found a strength in me that I never knew existed#that I realized I truly could do anything because I did that#I woke up every 45 minutes one night to take care of my baby#I cleaned during nap times I made dinners I did laundry I kept my house going regardless of how spent and exhausted I was#I felt like less than a person by basically becoming my sons main source of sustenance#I felt invisible#I felt unheard#I felt ugly and undesirable#I felt extreme joy paralleled by extreme loss of myself#I reached a point of truly knowing what it means to be torn apart as a person and then recreating myself from scratch#and it was so fucking hard#but it was worth it
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Wait, is it true that they gave another character usually associated with a green lightsaber a blue one? Why does this keep happening‽
#who'll be next? qui-gon? yoda?????#truly this is one of the most baffling trends in star wars#i mean there are a lot of baffling story decisions but this one really i have zero idea where it stems from#is green hard to film?#does someone just not *like* green?#are people in charge not just prequel haters but also ROTJ haters and think lightsabers should never have been green?#i am at a loss#none of these explanations make sense to me#ahsoka spoilers
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#Hmm. I'm expecting to get fired by the end of this year#You would think that i should feel more anxious about not having a job and no backup plan#I mean. I am#But at the same time. This job just *screech*#So like. It doesn't feel like a huge loss despite the obvious bad consequences#Maybe i haven't truly felt the regret yet but meh#“At least i still have the whole commission stuffs”#Not really. My art skills barely improves. I would say. It's slowly getting worse#I mostly just doodle to satisfy...st inside me?#And usually people would chat with me through twitter#But twitter kept logging me out and i have like...3 accounts for 3 seperate things i'm into#And combine with both my shitty memory and un-diagnosed ADHD...#I barely bother keeping up with any social media cuz' i'm already feel so socially tired just from making 3 irl sentences#I wish i could like...voice this out loud but last time i did#Gosh...their condescending tone just haunt me
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you know when there is one person you need to have a fight with (my dad) but you cant so you find yourself subconsciously picking fights with other people -_-
yeah i need to stop that
#jrnlsht#there is a giant ache that overwhelms even the slight wound from nick being a butt over this illness#and its that my dad is acting like he just doesnt care at all#and it is crushing me#i knew we were distant but i didn't know until now that he really truly didnt care#i have to figure out a way to reconcile with that and honestly im at a loss#this is like when my dad kept canceling his visits to me or my visits to him#and i kept defending him and saying excuses#until finally my one programmer friend here sat me down and said laura you keep saying that your dad is the one person you rely on#but he hasnt been reliable for years#and i realized my friend was right#this is just an extension of that shit that happened like two years ago#but dad was always the good one who saved me from my moms abuse and i am forever blind to his failings
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