#i am totally the victim here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ireverie · 2 months ago

Text

indulgence

pairing ↠ serial killer!sunghoon x (f) professor!reader

genre .. warnings ↠ smut, graphic depictions of murder, graphic depictions of violence, noncon, mentions of pregnancy, sunghoon is 43 (set in 2023)

summary ↠ you're an accomplished detective in the detroit area and park sunghoon is a prolific serial killer. when your department sends you on its behalf to pull back his layers, you attempt to convince sunghoon to recount his experiences and unravel the mystery once and for all.

wc ↠ 10.3k

a/n ↠ originally posted on my blog revehae, i am not plagiarizing myself. sunghoon’s american for the plot. part 3/3 of the in my blood series. as always, feedback is appreciated!

don’t like it, don’t read.

the deepest prick of unease settled through you and you shuddered from its nipping cold.

killers were your forte, but none like this. never in your life had you ever met a killer who’d been at their craft for over a decade. they typically got sloppy after the first half, which insinuated that this sunghoon park guy, whoever he was, was far from an ameteur.

“gate twelve,” came the guard’s voice, speaking into a transmitter. he was to escort you to sunghoon’s holding room.

the gate lifted. behind it, you clocked the riveting face of detroit’s worst nightmare, hands cuffed at his back as he sat facing you. there was a sort of twisted grin on his face, not as if he was excited to have a visitor, but excited his visitor had been you.

“good luck with this guy. officers tried to get him to budge. he didn’t take the fifth, but the bastard’s damn good at talking in circles,” the guard whispered in your ear.

“duly noted,” you replied quietly, stepping further and taking the seat across from sunghoon.

the guard left you to your devices, shutting the door behind you and leaving through the passage that led to the gate. complete and total privacy was the only way sunghoon agreed to talk. your department initially refused, insisting there should at least be one or two other officers monitoring the interview, but you let him have his way.

if you wanted to get this man to talk, that was your only option.

“hello, sunghoon. i’m detective ___ from the detroit police department,” you introduced yourself coolly, cloaking your nerves with confidence. never would you show a guy like this any fear.

sunghoon hadn’t stopped grinning since he made eye contact with you. you’d seen pictures at most and he was devilishly handsome, even more so in person, but it didn’t compensate for his unsettling aura. “that’s a beautiful name, detective.”

“flattery will get you nowhere, park.”

“it’s gotten me here,” sunghoon quipped.

“yes, it has. and i suppose you already know why i’m here.”

“yes, i do,” sunghoon said, pleasant thus far. “you want me to tell you about the murders.”

you bobbed your head. “i do. you see, you’re an enigma to me, sunghoon. you turn yourself in, get fingerprinted, and all of the sudden our datsbase’s going off because your prints are connected to three other crimes over the past twenty-five years.”

sunghoon feigned surprise. “wow, it’s been that long?”

“it has,” you replied, in spite of knowing he couldn’t have not been aware. “martina mortes in 1998, sabrina lee in 2005, christine dalton in 2013, and dr. lee this year.”

sunghoon leaned back in his chair. “i’m familiar with those names.”

“you should be. you sexually assaulted and murdered these women,” you spat, none too tender. “except for martina mortes. you only strangled her. do you want to tell me why that it is?”

“what’s the weather like today? i haven’t been outside, but summer has been kind to detroit.”

ignoring him, you persisted, “let me guess. she was your first victim and that kill, unlike the others, was spontaneous. her being dead defeated the purpose of the sex act, didn’t it?”

“well, do you like your partners warm or cold, detective?” sunghoon asked, deflecting.

you were heeding the guard’s warning. it seemed this guy liked to answer questions with questions, your least favorite type of offender. “that’s why when you subsequently added the sex act to part of your crimes, you kept your victims much longer, because you like to see them suffer. until you got bored. then, you killed them and dumped their bodies like trash.”

as if he was disinterested, sunghoon glanced to the side and yawned.

the audacity on this guy was astounding. “am i boring you, park?”

sunghoon replied with total indifference, “if you think you know everything, then why are we here?”

you answered without hesitation, “because i think you’ve wanted to tell someone about what you’ve done for a long time, sunghoon. but you realize that you’re not like other people. i’m giving you the opportunity to get it all off of your chest.”

sunghoon cocked his head to the side, as if he was contemplating your offer. his face was borderline inscrutable. it was difficult, if not impossible, to decipher what he was thinking.

you restrained from heaving a breath. there was a crushing weight on your shoulders, the expectation to get this guy to crack. if you couldn’t do it, nobody would - ever. “how many victims do you have?”

“four.” sunghoon’s answer was quick, automatic. like he didn’t even have to think about it for a second.

folding your arms on the table, you shook your head. “no, i just don’t think that’s true. see, we’re pretty sure martina mortes, your high school girlfriend, was your first victim, and the college professor was your last.”

sunghoon cocked a brow. “but?”

“but there’s no way someone like you could’ve resisted your urges between four kills over the past two decades and then some.”

there was no point in denying the four victims, because you already had substantial proof. nor did sunghoon deny that martina was his first victim, because given the decomposition of the bodies, she died long before the other three. admitting that she wasn’t would be admitting that there were unfound others.

and sunghoon had no intention of implicating himself more than he already had. the only reason he turned himself in was because he didn’t want to prolong the inevitable, for whatever reason. he pulled his lips into a mock frown. “your assumptions about my self-restraint are hurtful,” he replied.

whatever, moron, you thought irritability. “i think they’re more than just assumptions.”

sunghoon teased, “then, let me know when you know something.”

you narrowed your eyes, groaning, “oh, come on. i know and you know that you can’t ignore your desires for a month, let alone over ten years. you have a compulsion. killing makes you feel powerful, it makes you feel in control, and you can’t live without the high it gives you.”

“you make me sound like an addict,” sunghoon remarked, pretending to be offended.

“it wouldn’t be so far from the truth,” you said, glancing over the file at your end of the table. “the first two kills were seven years apart. the second two kills were ten. full offense, i don’t see how you could control yourself for so long.”

“you can believe what you want, detective. i didn’t kill anyone else,” sunghoon lied, not that you ever needed to know.

of course, he couldn’t control himself. the second he took someone’s life, it became a part of him, and his purpose in this world became clear to him. for the first time in his life, he felt as if he had something that made living worthwhile.

you surrendered. it was obvious sunghoon was intelligent and he wouldn’t be easily tricked into confessing. “okay, fine. let’s talk about the victims we know of. tell me about martina mortes.”

“what is there to tell?” sunghoon asked, brow cocked. “we met in junior high. then, in eleventh grade, we got together.”

“tell me about why you killed her,” you insisted, painfully curious. “it happened in chicago, before you moved to detroit over the summer. you killed her in the heat of the moment.”

sunghoon gave the impression that he would take a minute to crack, so you were surprised when he said in response to your prodding, “we got into a wrangle, if you will.”

that much was obvious. “what kind of wrangle?”

the garage was hot and the air was stuffy, making it difficult to breathe. to say nothing of the frustration scorching sunghoon’s skin, his face tensed into an irritated glower.

there was something about women he never liked, the seemingly inherent ability to blow almost anything out of proportion, as exhibited now as his girlfriend screamed in his face. his stepmother was the same, never not coming up with a reason to fuss at him. he was always walking on eggshells around that woman.

martina was bristling. “you always fucking do this, sunghoon.”

sunghoon heaved a breath, sighing, “what - what do i always do, martina?”

“you trivialize everything i go through. you make me feel like i’m overreacting when i’m not, you just refuse to hold yourself accountable,” she spat.

“martina, we’re about to go to college, for fuck’s sake! you can’t focus on your academics and a goddamn child. i don’t get why you won’t just have an abortion and call it a day,” sunghoon roared, heating up a thousand degrees.

“god, do you listen to a word that comes out of my mouth? my parents will kill me, sunghoon. if not for being pregnant at eighteen, then for killing it.”

sunghoon sighed. “i don’t see the part where that’s my problem.”

tears blurred martina’s eyes. she came up to him, shattered by his carelessness and embraced by isolation, and bellowed, “you want to know what your problem is? your problem is that you’re an incompetent bastard with no regard for other people!”

sunghoon’s body was engulfed in flames but his shoulders were cold, and he lost control of his emotions, grabbing martina by the throat. he effortlessly lifted her with a single hand and smashed her against the closest wall none too gently, watching her eyes wince closed.

“you wanna say that again?” sunghoon asked, nothing short of belligerent.

ache spread out through the back of martina’s head, a ceaseless throbbing worse than any hungover. her feet dangled off of the ground, waving and kicking, fingers weakly prying at the ones pressing down on her windpipe. until she was completely still, legs dropping, hands going limp at her sides.

“i didn’t even realize how long i spent standing there, until she felt… empty, and i knew she was gone,” sunghoon confessed, but his tone was far from sympathetic. “she scratched me. you know, when she was trying to pry my hands off. i didn’t know until hours later.”

you shook your head, disdainful. “you killed your pregnant girlfriend?”

sunghoon groaned, “oh, please. i was eighteen. i would’ve been a terrible father.”

“i would be slightly more inclined to accept that as an excuse if it weren’t for the fact that you had a son by sabrina lee only two years later,” you said viciously.

“a lot can change in two years.”

“i’m sure it did.” your eyes flickered over the file again, but nothing would allow you to familiarize yourself with this killer more than talking to him yourself. “for example, you realized just how much you liked killing.”

if sunghoon could’ve raised his hands, he would’ve. “your words, not mine.”

you leaned over the table, unrelenting. “tell me about it, sunghoon. how did it feel when you strangled her with your bare hands? what was it like?”

sunghoon chuckled. “is that what you wanna hear?”

you nodded.

sunghoon leaned in too, getting closer to you, and whispered in your ear, “i squeezed every last breath out of her, one by one, until there was nothing left for her brain and she went slack in my arms. and when i was done, i felt elated. i felt free. it woke up this dormant sensation inside of me that i swore to never repress again, because it made me feel alive.”

your lungs started to feel shallower, like no breath could reach the bottom, and you sensed your heart come to a halt for a minute. sunghoon pulled back, grinning from ear to ear, as if he was proud of himself.

“detective, did i startle you?” sunghoon asked, tilting his head ever so slightly.

your face hardened. “why would you ever think that?”

“you’re not as good at feigning indifference as you think you are, detective. full offense,” he mimicked, mocking.

he’s just a fragile man that kills women to make him feel better about himself, because he needs to be in control. don’t give him power over you. that’s what he wants, you said to yourself, shutting any and all other thoughts. “so, you killed martina, nobody could connect her disappearance to you, and by the time they discovered her body you were already studying for college two states over.”

sunghoon ignored you, at least for a little. he was taking a liking to making you feel uneasy around him. “has anyone ever told you how gorgeous you are?” he asked out of nowhere.

“you aren’t my type. i don’t fool around with serial killers,” you replied sharply.

sunghoon didn’t seem to be offended, but you didn’t expect him to. “really now? it feels like we’re on a date right now. after all, we are getting to know each other.”

you asked, “have you always had such a distorted perception of normal human interaction?”

sunghoon shot with no hesitation, “have you always had such a sharp mouth?”

you pulled yourself together. the only way you would get anywhere with this guy was by establishing that you were the one in control. “okay, enough. this is my interview, park. you answer my questions, not vice versa.”

“that’s not any fair,” sunghoon told you, that unnerving smile still on his lips. “i don’t have to tell you anything, you know. and without me, you lose the only key to those answers you want so badly.”

“you shutting up doesn’t make much of a difference, considering you’re already dodging my questions,” you replied.

“let’s play a game,” sunghoon suggested.

you weren’t in the mood for any games, but that was sunghoon’s method of operation. “i don’t like games.”

“you’ll like this one,” sunghoon insisted, laughing. “twenty questions.”

your shoulders dropped. “am i supposed to be guessing something?”

sunghoon shook his head, something sinister about him. “no, it’s much easier than that. we take turns asking each other questions until i’ve answered ten and you’ve unanswered ten.”

you stared into his eyes, willing yourself not to break contact. he was just as relentless, silently cocking a brow at you, as if to challenge. and you weren’t an idiot. that’s exactly what it was. you asserted, “i go first, you can only ask me yes or no questions, and if i don’t like your final answer i get to press you for another.”

sunghoon slightly lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant shrug. “yes, ma’am.”

“okay,” you started. “what made you move from illinois to michigan?”

“i was kicked out of the house. didn’t have anywhere else to go. but i had a buddy here whose family took me in,” sunghoon answered frankly.

you pondered those words, wondering if his aforementioned buddy knew about his secret indulgences. or if he asked why sunghoon’s parents kicked him out of their home. it would’ve been the question scratching at your mind, itching to be answered.

sunghoon’s lips parted. “what kind of perfume are you wearing - honey lavender?”

“yes,” you said, focusing your attention on anything but the possibilities of how he could’ve known that. he’d been with so many people to the point where he just knew. “why did you get kicked out of the house?”

“my dad always thought there was something different about me, ever since i was a child. he was a nasty piece of work. he found my journal, read a couple of things i wrote, and decided there was no hope for me in the house,” sunghoon ranted.

that piqued your curiosity. “what did you write about?”

“wait your turn,” sunghoon sang. “your hair smells just as lovely as the rest of you. do you match scents all the time?”

you were mildly uncomfortable, but given the type of dude he was, you stifled it. “yes. you don’t have to be such a pervert all the time, you know?”

again, sunghoon rolled his shoulders, chirping, “you call it perverse. i call it amusing.”

you almost cursed under your breath when you realize you’d asked him a question. “wait, i didn’t mean to ask…”

sunghoon cut you off, “that’s too bad. it’s my turn again. do you like necklaces?”

“not ones made out of fingers,” you retorted. it was meant to be a joke to hide how unsettled you were, hyper aware of the necklace dangling around your neck. you could feel invisible pressure on your throat.

sunghoon snickered. “i’ll admit that was funny.”

you pressed, “what did you write about in the journal?”

“my dreams,” he admitted vaguely, though in reality, he wrote endlessly about his corrupt fantasies of abusing women. some pages were about his stepsister, and there was a few about what he’d done to martina, though not explicitly. “you have the most beautiful eyes. they’re the perfect shade.”

you were certain he had told many other girls those same words and were not flattered in the slightest. the glare you were giving him was ferocious. “i’m not sure if there’s a question in there somewhere.”

“do you think your eyes are pretty?”

“i haven’t really thought about it,” you told him, quick to change the topic. you’d encountered your fair share of stranglers and it was no secret why he was so interested in your eyes. “was your relationship with your father estranged?”

“nothing was enough for that man. i had the top grades in my class and the highest gpa, and he took my door off its hinges and seized my privacy,” sunghoon told you, words harsh, but his tone plain. “he was obsessed with being the perfect family, something that was ruined the second my mother destroyed everything, and rather than embrace me, he turned me away.”

your eyes flickered. there was something about his language that stood out to you. courtesy of the research you’d done on him beforehand, you were aware that his father was divorced then remarried his stepmother, who already had a daughter sunghoon’s age. but rather than describe his parent’s separation as a divorce, he said his mother destroyed everything.

what a hostile view towards women, you mused, repulsed. but given the nature of his crimes, it adds up. and it might’ve been the origin of his hatred.

his family was twisted. you couldn’t fathom how his father, aware of just how unwell his son was, clocked his abusive fantasies towards women, and instead of getting him the help he needed, he left him to his own devices to slaughter them as he pleased.

you blinked when sunghoon leaned, craning his face towards yours, and snapped out of your reverie when you jolted back.

“there you are,” sunghoon said, chuckling at your surprise. it was all over your face. “i’ve been talking to myself all this time. you must’ve been thinking about me.”

“no, not really. i was wondering if i forgot to feed my dog last night.” it was an obvious lie, but you would never encourage this guy to feel more important than he was.

amusement gleamed in sunghoon’s eyes. he was having a wonderful time, truth be told. had you not been so pretty, he would’ve clamped up like a crab, but you were so pleasing to the eye that he didn’t mind confessing a couple of truths. “a dog. that’s interesting. i myself have always wanted a pet - a snake. the constricting kind are my favorite.”

“you don’t say,” you droned, voice dripping with crisp irony.

your sarcasm was chucklesome to sunghoon, but his words were the truth. he remembered, all those years ago, asking his father for a pet snake. and when he refused, sunghoon, in turn, killed the family dog. he added, “they don’t just suffocate their prey. they coil around them, almost like a straitjacket, and cut off its blood supply.”

you replied, “yeah, but animals hunt to survive. you hunted because you had nothing better to do with your life.”

“in my humble opinion, we’re all animals of nature, and creatures of sin,” sunghoon told you in a whisper, as if he were telling you a secret of some kind. “anyways, it’s my turn now.”

you resisted a disgruntled exhale.

like his questions couldn’t get any more absurd and strangely perverse, sunghoon asked, “when you shower, what do you use - a washcloth or a loofah?”

“that’s not a yes or no question,” you replied with total disinterest.

“it’s hardly any less simple.”

“a washcloth,” you replied, though only because you needed to ask him your questions and resisting an answer would only waste valuable time. “why did you wait so long before killing sabrina lee?”

sunghoon smiled at the mention of his son’s mother, but the grin on his lips was distinguishable from the others. like he didn’t even realize he was smiling. “she was special. i loved her.”

“no, you didn’t. you don’t hurt people that you love.”

“maybe that’s true for you, but you’ve called me everything but a child of god and it’s clear you don’t think you and i are alike,” sunghoon said. “i don’t miss her, though, because she left a better print on this world. a world that was never made for her in the first place.”

a better print on this world. your brows furrowed, until you remembered the child they shared together. “you know what i think? i think whatever you felt for your son’s mother was the closest thing to love you’ll ever be able to pull from your ugly black heart.”

“you’re very strongly opinionated,” sunghoon responded, ever so unbothered. maybe some decades ago, it would’ve irked him to the point of breaking, but he was much more in charge of his impulses now.

you lifted your shoulders, gazing at him with the most discerning of eyes. all he could think about was how nice it would’ve been to seize you by the throat and watch the light dull from them.

to your surprise, sunghoon’s next question was not as a deviant as you assumed it would be, asking, “what made you decide you wanted to become a detective?”

“because of the people i used to know that aren’t around to tell you why,” you answered distantly, before pressing, “how was sabrina different, sunghoon?”

sunghoon perched over the table again, an uncomfortable distance close to you, made worse by his whispers. “because unlike the others, she didn’t beg me to stop - she begged me to finish. for it to be over. and when i wouldn’t, she begged me to kill her.”

the mental picture you got was cruel. your heart hurt for these women that had no idea what hit them until it was too late.

“i put these women out of their misery,” sunghoon continued.

you spat in a heartbeat, “the misery that you forced them to endure.”

sunghoon winced. “no, these women were miserable long before they met me. they were just ignorant of it. impressionability is a weakness.”

“either you have one hell of a god complex or you are working overtime to justify your sick actions.”

sunghoon merely shrugged, vicious and ominous and everything in between. there was something so dark about his spirit. you could feel it just from sitting within a couple of feet of him.

sunghoon’s memories were triggered. he was reminiscing about the times he shared with his son’s mother, how perfect she was. there were no other women like her. she was his favorite victim, someone he took his sweet time with, while the others were disposed of in a few months time.

midnight loomed, riding on the tail of dusk. sunghoon was counting down the minutes until the clock struck twelve, a self-imposed rule to gauge his willpower. the second the hour came, he bolted from the crackling sound of the cabin’s fireplace to a bedroom, anticipation like a stimulant.

the wooden floorboards creaked the closer sunghoon crept to the door. save for himself and the woman chained to the bedpost, the cabin was void of life. it belonged to the parents of a close friend who ensured it was vacant whenever sunghoon needed a place to indulge his twisted fantasies.

which was basically all of the time.

he meandered inside with a crisp bottle of water in hand, droplets condensing at its sides. sabrina laid right where he left her, just as broken, dreading her next breath. tape adhered to the flesh over her mouth, muffling her whimpers. there was nobody around for miles, the cabin was totally isolated, but it was a safety measure.

the chains were used likewise. when sunghoon was not there, the restraints kept her prisoner. sunghoon, reckless as he could be back then, was many things and stupid was not one of them. the chains stretched long enough to reach the bathroom but no further and he had his loyal friend help him test it after each victim.

“can you go further?” sunghoon called out.

heeseung’s lower limbs were shackled, ceasing his footsteps just shy of the hallway as he came to a total standstill. “not if i want my legs to follow me,” he’d retorted.

sunghoon had snickered. “good.”

had sunghoon been there, though, he would take the chains off. none of this was fair, even sunghoon didn’t believe that, but not giving them the chance to fight was too unfair. he needed not to chain them when he had the gift of his big, burly arms.

sunghoon waltzed over with a lighthearted and carefree gait, as if this was just another wednesday afternoon to him. and in some sick, despicable way, that wasn’t too far from the truth. he ripped the tape from sabrina’s lips, watching her face tense with pain.

“sunghoon,” sabrina rasped, voice croaking. he could tell from her flushed face and misty eyes that she’d been crying. ��i’m thirsty.”

sunghoon cocked a brow, glancing to his hand. he had an irritating knack for playing dumb. it used to be endearing. now, with everything she knew to be true torn from her bare hands, sabrina didn’t know what to think. “what - you want this?”

sabrina nodded.

“yeah?” he popped off the top, throwing back a few gulps just before releasing a satisfied, “ah.”

sabrina’s lips trembled. “please.”

had she been anybody else, sunghoon probably would’ve dangled the water in her face just to snatch it away, but there was something about sabrina that made him gravitate towards her. in a rare moment of benevolence, sunghoon handed her the water, letting her drink.

she didn’t drink in short sips, but in giant gulps as if she’d known for some time that they’d be her last. when her thirst was satiated, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, handing the bottle back, and whispered, “thank you.”

sunghoon set the drink aside before returning to her, unshackling her limbs. sabrina’s breath quickened the moment the chains clacked harshly against the floor and nearly stilled when he brought his hand to her flushed face, tracing her chapped lips with a calloused thumb.

his thoughts rushed with unbridled exhilaration, ablaze with suspense, but he slowed for a moment to marvel at her loveliness. sunghoon’s hand touched her hair, touch tender in ways it would never be again, because he would never again know a woman as great as her.

he brought his lips to her ear, nibbling at the shell before asking, “do you know what i want you to do?”

sabrina bobbed her head, starting to halfheartedly peel off her clothes without needing to be told. with so many days held prisoner in this hell hole, it became routine. like she’d already resigned herself to her fate and knew sunghoon getting his way was inevitable. he always got what he wanted.

to be frank, it came out of nowhere. she never saw this twisted side of him coming. all she knew was that she became suspicious of his lack of family presence and it was too late when she saw him for the monster that he was, and then she woke here.

it had to have been months ago, although sabrina couldn’t have been sure how many. everyday started to bleed into the static hopelessness of another. sometimes sunghoon wouldn’t show for days, leaving her to live antsily, dreading his unavoidable return. other times, he would spend a day or two in the cabin, fucking her into kingdom come.

as if she couldn’t be any more faultless. sunghoon smirked. “smart girl,” he purred. he would never deny her wit, given that she’d caught onto him, but her lack of strength was her only vice.

sunghoon restlessly tossed his own shirt over his naked shoulder and came to step out of his boxers. there was mischief on his plush lips. he knew something sabrina only knew from the unkind churn of her gut.

the end was more than near. it loomed over her, relentless and remorseless, and all she could like it to was dark and leaden clouds in a somber sky. even then, there was almost nothing she wouldn’t give to see the world again, but she’d long kissed that hope goodbye.

“down,” sunghoon told her, tone dark and stern.

she pliantly did as told, bare back meeting the mattress. sunghoon crept over her, hard cock twitching at the sight of her so meek. typically, he liked when they put up a fight, but sabrina knew better.

sunghoon could tell she was fighting back tears, willing herself not to cry with a stabilized breath, but her endeavors were in vain the second he started to force his way inside her. they escaped her eyes and dampened her cheeks, unable to overlook the agony of the stretch.

“shh, baby,” sunghoon crooned in her ear, the weight of his body bearing down onto hers. “what’s the matter? you used to beg me to fuck you.”

sabrina shook her head, silently pleading for a mercy she knew deep down that sunghoon wasn’t capable of. “please make it quick.”

sunghoon’s tone was almost sweet. “but baby, you told me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, remember?”

sunghoon knew that his words weren’t reassuring and he didn’t intend for them to be. there was a reason why he loved how she tried to hold herself together. he got to push her limits, find her breaking point. in the end, she would get her wish, and in a way, sunghoon thought that that was love.

her walls were just as tight and vice-like as they’d been all those times he’d taken her before. if sunghoon got close enough to her, let his hands wander and tease as they never not had done, sabrina would still involuntarily gush around his cock. like her body knew she was forever a slave to his touch.

just looking at her face as she wept sent shock waves of pleasure rippling through his dick and chest. sabrina didn’t cry in noisy, gasping sobs. her tears dripped from her thick lashes quietly, mouth parting in the most silent of whimpers.

and she orgasmed the same way, sunghoon remembered. back when things were normal between them, when she begged for him to fuck her, as he called it, her release was marked by a volatile shudder, but a silent cry of ecstasy.

sunghoon pushed sabrina’s lips into an upward curling with his thumb and index finger. “smile for the camera, sabrina,” he whispered.

sabrina’s brows furrowed, painfully oblivious to the camera tracking her every emote. sunghoon couldn’t not document his deeds. there was something about being able to play them over, immersing himself back in that moment over and over, even when the life itself could not be so easily brought back.

but for sunghoon, they could be. when he rewatched these videos again and again, it was like he could feel their pulses thump in their neck, resuscitating.

sunghoon’s hands were everywhere, fingertips traipsing towards sabrina’s neck where marks lingered from all the times he’d strangled her, only to slacken his grip when she was just shy of passing out. the bruises were different colors, indicative of different healing stages. sabrina tensed, startled, and wondered when it would all be over.

“sunghoon.” sabrina was overcome with defeat. her voice cracked as she asked, “sunghoon, please just cum.”

sunghoon’s face tensed with pleasure. “fuck, babe, when you say it like that…”

he stood at the brink of climax, threatening to teeter over, and there was only one thing that could knock him over quicker than anything else. it wouldn’t be anything she said, anything she did, but only a weakness sunghoon had the power to wield against himself.

“you want me to finish?”

sabrina nodded.

sunghoon chuckled darkly. “then, in that case, it’s time for you to get your wish, baby.”

he watched her shoulders slump, releasing all hope of ever knowing anything different again and accepting that this was where things ended. thinking about the feeling he remembered none too distantly, one that almost seemed to keep his blood pumping through him, in a way, sunghoon’s fingers itched.

sunghoon lifted his hands, bringing them to sabrina’s face, but before he could touch her, she exclaimed, “wait, sunghoon!”

his brow cocked.

sabrina’s lips trembled. “can you tell me what today is? please?”

“wednesday,” sunghoon replied, holding his hands around her neck, but keeping his grip slack. for now.

“wednesday,” sabrina said, pulling her lips into the faintest of smiles as tears blurred her vision. “will you tell jake that i hope he has an amazing thursday?”

“that can be arranged,” sunghoon said, grinning.

sabrina nodded, setting her mind at ease. she’d already made peace with this day some months ago. she never knew when it come, but she saw it as something bound to happen. “thank you,” she whispered.

those were her last words. because when sunghoon tightened his grip at her throat, almost like tightening a noose, he couldn’t bring himself to stop in spite of the agonized gleam in her stare. and then her stare was empty, and sunghoon had already emptied his load inside of her.

to describe the sensation he got from killing in a way that captured its essence would be impossible. it was more than feeling the life leave her. it was more than watching her eyes become soulless. it was a release, a way of relinquishing all of the vacantness he harbored, and knowing that his heart was still there.

it would always return, sometimes as soon as the next day, but for a minute, sunghoon was whole and no drug could replicate that kind of contentedness.

sunghoon did tell jake what sabrina said. he wasn’t all too sure why, maybe it was because she was his mother and jake was her son that they’d created together, and sunghoon would never have it any other way. for her to be the one to give him a child, he couldn’t imagine any other woman in her place.

it was almost unfortunate that she had to go so soon. even sunghoon thought that her demise was premature. had she not grown so suspicious of him, sunghoon could imagine making her his wife, maybe even spending the rest of his life with her.

their marriage wouldn’t have been without his secret dark life, but sabrina wouldn’t’ve been a victim. alas, loose ends needed to be tied. sunghoon couldn’t trust that she would’ve kept quiet, and even then, she was in a much more fitting place for an angel like herself.

there was much of this memory that would be abridged. never would sunghoon reveal anything about the cabin or the dear friend that helped him commit his indulgences, or even the existence of the tapes. if they found those videos, that was proof of murder with a grand total of 106 women.

the air around you was heavy and the words you’d just been fed weren’t easily take in. “what you’re just told me is really sad.”

but sunghoon didn’t look sad. whether or not he ever truly cared for sabrina would perpetually be a mystery. “maybe,” he started. “but tell me that you wouldn’t hurt the person you loved most if it was what was best for them.”

“i did. but what i had to do is different from what you were.”

sunghoon’s interest was piqued. “how come?”

“it was my responsibility to decide whether or not to take my sister off of the ventilator. there was no hope for her,” you confessed, though brushed over it quickly. “what happened to your ex-wife?”

“not that interesting of a story,” sunghoon said. “she wasn’t sabrina, i got tired of her, here we are.”

“and yet she wasn’t a one-off like martina mortes.”

“had she been a one-off, my body count would be one number higher. that was a favor,” sunghoon told you, grinning as if you actually had something to be grateful for.

you didn’t waste a second to accuse, “because you need to keep your victims to extract all the relief that you can from them, right?”

“i’m afraid it’s not your turn to ask questions,” sunghoon replied tauntingly. “what was your sister like - did she have long hair? what color were her eyes? how long were her lashes?”

sick son of a bitch, bellowed the voice in your head, though you willed yourself to remain composed. it was plain on his face that sunghoon didn’t want an answer - he wanted a reaction. and as furious as that made you, you couldn’t let him provoke you. “that’s none of your business,” you said, but there was a loophole. “but she was beloved.”

that qualified as an answer. sunghoon glanced at you in a way that made you feel see-through, as if he knew that you were threatening to come apart at the seams and didn’t buy your nonchalance for a minute.

sated, he went on to feed you bullshit about his ex-wife’s death, though there were only four people who knew what truly happened to her and one of them was dead.

sunghoon remembered that day like it happened yesterday. it was a thursday evening when he’d come home from work. christine had picked jake up from school hours ago and sunghoon wholly expected to come home to her in the kitchen.

it was dark outside. the moon was a mere sliver and the stars were duller than they typically were, almost like they had witnessed something that drained their spirits. sunghoon remembered struggling to identify his house key, trying each of them until the door clicked open.

“i’m home,” sunghoon’s voice thundered as he turned to lock the door.

there were quick footsteps from upstairs. jake, sunghoon thought, more than familiarized with the sound. but there was none of christine’s usual voice.

“dad, i’m hungry,” came jake’s voice from the stairs, coming down them one by one.

that in itself should’ve been suspicious, but instead, all sunghoon could think about was how sabrina would’ve already fed her son. “hasn’t christine made dinner by now?” sunghoon asked, irritated.

jake shook his head, though sunghoon couldn’t see. he was hanging his coat on the rack, like he always did after he locked the door. “she can’t right now.”

“why not?”

“because i think she’s dead,” jake replied, nonchalant as ever.

that was the very second that sunghoon turned around and noticed that jake was stained with blood. it was all over his face and the spots would probably never come out of his clothes, not that they would be kept.

for half a minute, sunghoon was genuinely stunned.

jake didn’t say what happened, and there was no need to. “the blood won’t come off,” was all he said, showing his father the pair of hands that he’d washed with vigor.

sunghoon heaved a breath. he should’ve seen this coming. jake took after his father and he never liked christine. to say the least, sunghoon couldn’t blame him. “where is she?”

“where they all go,” jake replied, as if it was the most normal and natural thing in the world to him.

sunghoon headed for the basement with quick footsteps, jake following behind. if somebody were to come down there, they wouldn’t suspect a thing. not only was it decorated to look like one, but it was used as a man cave. behind a soundproof wall, though, was a dungeon for his prisoners.

in this case, there was a trail of blood leading to the wall, proof that jake had somehow brought christine there after he hurt her. sunghoon entered the cell and saw her there behind the bars, coming to her side to check her pulse.

pressing his thumb to her wrist and neck, sunghoon sensed a pulse, though it was weakening. “she’s not dead,” he said, wresting his phone out of his pocket.

jake didn’t look so relieved, but he didn’t voice his dissatisfaction. “are you mad?”

sunghoon glanced down at christine. jake had used a kitchen knife, attacking her in the heat of the moment. she was butchered and blood-splattered, on the verge of slaughter, and yet sunghoon couldn’t find it in him to offer any compassion. “that you hurt her? no. that you made a mess? a little.”

now that was a relief. to jake, at least back then, his dad was the coolest guy that he knew.

there was quite the scene in front of him and sunghoon didn’t have a thing for blood. he shook his head in reproach, chastising, “i’m going to teach you the right way to get rid of a woman when you’re sick of her.”

that piqued jake’s curiosity.

sunghoon was quick to dial heeseung’s number. he had medical experience and that was what he needed right now. when the call connected, he said, “i’m in calling in a favor.”

heeseung patched her up again. at least for a few months, sunghoon still needed her breathing. they scrubbed the floors free of blood, burned jake’s bloodied clothes, and it was as if nothing ever happened.

what sunghoon had told you was only a fraction of the truth, but still enough to make you want to grimace. it bemused you how he got away with murdering his ex-wife and nobody thought to suspect her husband with a track record of disappearing partners.

“you want to know what’s really amazing?” you started, though it was more like disgusting. “how three of the women you’ve killed were your significant others, and somehow, you’ve only now been incriminated.”

sunghoon looked proud of himself. had it not been for jake, he probably would’ve never been caught. “sabrina never told anyone that we dated, or that she had a baby by me. her parents wanted her to focus on her education. if they knew she’d gotten pregnant, she would’ve been the black sheep.”

“and you took advantage of that,” you hissed.

“so what if i did?” sunghoon asked, careless. “not to mention that dozens of teenage girls in chicago were going missing at the time. they added martina to that number and called it a day. is that sad? maybe. but that’s how it works.”

“and as for your co-worker?” you asked sharply. the boldness of his crimes astounded you. “her husband grieves her. were you having an affair?”

the thought of her made sunghoon chuckle. oh, were we, he reminisced. it was a misfortune that he didn’t get the chance to have his way with her the way that he wanted. and for that reason, he couldn’t regale you in a truthful account of her death.

what happened that day, the day his co-worker died, challenged his fate and was the reason that he only now knew the imprisonment he thrusted upon others.

sunghoon knew when he spotted her that he would revel in her vulnerability. married, but she hardly wore her ring. her kind was the most naive - the kind that believed ecstasy was without costly sin. one way or another, she had to reap what she sowed.

he worked his way inside her pants, but it was hardly any work; she was on a desperate pursuit for pleasure and when sunghoon promised it to her, offering content on a silver platter, she thought less with her brain and more with the throbbing between her legs.

for months, sunghoon slept with her, which was far from typical. if she were anybody else, sunghoon would have pursued her for a couple of weeks time, then banished her to the underground prison. though considering he already had a victim down there at the time, he had some time to spare.

it was no secret that she had grown fond of sunghoon in ways she hadn’t been of her husband in a very long time, and though sunghoon found her to be special, in a way, he could not reciprocate her feelings. when sunghoon saw her, all he felt was the overwhelming urge to use her with a lick of remorse, and squeeze those panting breaths out of her.

it was a shame that he never got the opportunity. sunghoon already tested the bounds of his self-restraint when it came to her, each of their encounters consensual with her oblivious to his deepest, darkest desires. sometimes, his fingers would wander to her neck, but even that was wanted.

what was not wanted was the tyranny over her body that preceded her death. it bemused sunghoon to learn that his son, along with two of his friends that he thought of like brothers and sunghoon thought of like sons, ravaged her to the brink of being unrecognizable.

had sunghoon held control over the situation, he wouldn’t have cared what happened to her and would have even permitted them to go to town. but what happened was somehow darker. when he got a call from the professor late that day, hearing her broken sobs over the phone, he told her to meet him at his house.

that was his first mistake.

it wasn’t that she didn’t come. she made it there, hopeful to confide in sunghoon about the nightmare that tore her apart, but it was jake that opened the front door. and when she entered, there was no hope out of her coming out breathing.

jake had been a downward spiral ever since a month ago when he stumbled upon the tape of his mother. ever since he was a boy, jake watched every tape he could find of his father’s dark life, even sharing them with his friends as if they were movies and not snuff.

but this was not like those. this was his mother. and watching her suffer, listening to her final request before her untimely death, broke jake in ways which he would never recover.

jake had known since he was little that his mother was dead and his father was to blame, but his understanding of what happened to her was skewed. if he’d known eighteen years ago what he knew today, when sunghoon had his own son aid him in his mother’s demise, none of it would have ever happened.

to say nothing of the fact that what sunghoon had jake do was only a mere fraction of his mother’s suffering. jake would fetch things from the other side of the cabin he vaguely remembered visiting every now and then for three months. when he was not there, which was often, he would lie to his neighbors about her whereabouts.

even though when she died he was only a kid being taken advantage of, jake hated himself for letting it happen right under his nose. he wished he would’ve told his neighbors the truth. maybe if he had, his mother would still be alive and kicking, and he would know the only woman he ever cared for.

that was why he went after his professor that he knew his father had also been eyeing closely and having an affair with. her fate was obvious. sunghoon would entertain her for a while, somehow charm and woo his way into her pants like he did every other woman, kidnap her and keep her downstairs for three months, then kill her and identify the next victim.

but sunghoon’s liking of her was also hopelessly discernable. she was living too long. and that was a telltale sign that sunghoon took a special interest in his son’s professor, something that jake feared would rival the affection (if it existed) for his mother.

jake was not keen on having his mother replaced. the last time it happened, he snapped and maimed his stepmother. and he was not afraid of doing so again.

when jake exacted revenge, it felt like nothing he had ever done before. vengeance tasted like heaven. his professor tasted elysian. and he had never felt so good about himself, but then the high wore off, comparable to the fading release sunghoon got after strangling his victims, and familiar pain seared through him once further.

vindictiveness was a lethal venom, festering quickly upon injection. after jake got what he wanted, there was a greed to replicate that feeling, in spite of the fact that nothing would compare to that first blow. in his own way, unlike his father’s but similar nonetheless, he was pivoting towards release.

jake was on the brink of something like psychosis when he heard those knocks on his front door. and when he peered outside, spotting the professor, his recklessness got the better of him.

she was dead before she even stepped inside the house. jake yanked her inside, brought her downstairs, and forced himself onto her for a second time that day. when she wept for sunghoon, wishing he would come home, jake almost pitied her naïveté.

if jake hadn’t killed her, wrapping his hands around her throat the way that he knew his father had been yearning to, sunghoon would have.

the look on his professor’s face was pitiful. “sorry,” jake said, though he clasped his hands around her throat harder. “but i have to make a statement.”

it was not particularly a difficult thing to do, at least not to stomach, but killing her was merely just a means to an end. he didn’t get off to it like his father would’ve, jake’s interest lay inflicting psychological damage, but he did it because he knew how much it pleasured sunghoon to squeeze the life out of his victims.

and if jake couldn’t have what he wanted, then as long as he lived, neither would his dad for tearing it away.

sunghoon came home moments too late. jake left his professor in the cellar for his father to find, eyes wide and face pale.

sunghoon glanced around. he saw her car parked outside, but no sign of her. when jake came from his bedroom on the upper floor, a creeping feeling of deja vu flooded sunghoon’s chest, but he asked, “where is she?”

jake’s face was expressionless. “she’s dead,” he replied, confident. “i mean it this time.”

sunghoon shook his head. “you killed her?”

“wasn’t it you that said you were going to teach me the proper way to dispose of a woman when i’m sick of her?” jake asked, approaching his father as he crept down the stairs.

though sunghoon wasn’t pleased, he willed himself to calm down. “did you strangle her?”

“yes.”

sunghoon figured, from the lack of blood staining his house this time around. “will you tell me about it?”

that caught jake off-guard. he expected his father to be angry, to let loose. he had to have been dreaming of choking her since the day he laid eyes on her. “you sick fuck,” jake sneered.

sunghoon snickered, unbothered. that’s rich. “who do you think you got it from?”

obviously, from the face jake was making, he didn’t like that. his nonchalant attitude dissipated. “i’m not like you!”

“keep telling yourself that. maybe one day you’ll delude yourself into believing it,” sunghoon replied, hanging his coat on the rack in spite of knowing he would be leaving again soon.

“i’m not like you - i mean that.”

sunghoon, miffed, rolled his eyes and said, “come on, son. you think i don’t know you and your friends have been watching my tapes for the past decade and then some like they’re cartoons?”

“but not mom’s,” jake spat, loathing fizzing in his stare.

sunghoon froze, then spun around. “is that what this is all about?”

jake nodded, pleased his father was finally getting the picture. “i found it in your study. you hid it more carefully than the others, because she was special or you didn’t want me to find it, i don’t know.”

sunghoon heaved a breath. “you were never supposed to see that.”

“but i did,” jake replied. “and i’ve suffered every day for the past month because of that.”

sunghoon shot without hesitation, “a suffering you brought upon yourself. nobody asked you to go snooping around in my things.”

jake’s lips were twisted into the meanest snarl sunghoon had ever seen. emotion wrecked through him in its totality. “is that what’s important to you? i shouldn’t be surprised. you couldn’t even spare your own son’s mother from your heartlessness.”

sunghoon massaged his temple, summoning all of his willpower. “please,” he groaned, sensing an incoming headache. “women are weak, cheating whores. just look at your professor. maybe your mother wasn’t, but she was a liability.”

if that was supposed to console jake, it had the complete opposite effect. “are you saying she deserved it?”

“i’m saying that you’ve always been too soft,” sunghoon said, not bothering to sugarcoat his chastising. “just like your mother. even when you were a child. that’s why i had you help me, i hoped you would harden up a little.”

jake scoffed. “unbelievable.”

“your mother went quietly. she didn’t even fight it, jake. so, why are you?”

“because of that,” jake told him, vitriol in his voice. “she didn’t ask you to stop one time. she just asked you to get it over with.”

sunghoon tipped his head back. “ah, yes. she really was perfect, wasn’t she?”

that was all it took to kindle an unforgiving rage within jake and in a moment of fury, flickering through him in a flash, jake lifted his hand to smack his father.

sunghoon caught his wrist, as if this weren’t the first time this had happened and it was wholeheartedly expected. his voice lowered to a mere hiss, “i’ve never laid a hand on you. ever in your life. don’t make today be the day i start.”

jake glared, but wrested his way out of his father’s grip and backed away.

sunghoon smoothed down his shirt and headed for the kitchen, knowing jake would follow. this conversation was far from over. “now, if you excuse me, i have to clean up your mess,” he said, pulling a burner phone out of a drawer. “if you don’t mind.”

“i can clean up my own mess,” jake replied, scowling.

setting the phone on the counter, sunghoon reached for a glass. “no, you can’t. not without digging your own grave. unless you want to go to prison, pack your shit, ask one of your buddies if you can stay with them for a few days, and take the tapes with you. hide them.”

jake made a face. “what are you talking about?”

sunghoon sighed. “we can’t get away with this one, son. her car’s parked outside. there’s too many loose ends.”

“we can get rid of the car. you don’t have to go to jail!” jake shouted.

“it’s either you or me. frankly, i’m doing you a favor. you wouldn’t last two seconds behind bars,” sunghoon hissed. he grabbed another glass, sliding it across the counter, then said, “now, wine? you know, to celebrate your old man going away? i believe that’s what you want.”

jake shook his head. never in his life had he been so conflicted. his father that he’d been so bent on despising until he the day he died was voluntarily confessing to a crime he didn’t commit, just so that his son wouldn’t have to suffer in prison.

“why are you doing this?” jake asked, bristling with emotion.

sunghoon sighed. “because i love you, son. even if you don’t think so. and because your mother would be turning in her grave if she knew you were in prison.”

jake blew out a breath. then, after a moment of reluctance, he grabbed the glass on the counter and reached for the wine bottle.

sunghoon snickered. “atta boy.”

“i wonder how your son reacted when he learned you were going to prison for murder,” you said, pondering. “you live in the same house. i wonder how he didn’t know.”

sunghoon lied, “he was at a friend’s house when i killed her. doesn’t like that it was his favorite professor.”

you nodded along, buying his lies. “that is a lot to take in. i mean, imagine your dad was having an affair with your favorite science professor. then, he kills her, like how he killed your mom.”

sunghoon shrugged his shoulders. “have you never heard the phrase ‘the heart wants what it wants?’”

“i have,” you replied. “and i guess your heart wanted to stop the function of others.”

sunghoon laughed at his own expense. “oh, please. you give me too much credit. you shouldn’t make me out to be more romantic than i am.”

you shook your head in disappointment. “you make these women want you, and then you undo everything. that has to be part of the amusement to you.”

“it gets a chuckle or two out of me.”

your lips were tempted to curl into a frown for the umpteenth time that day alone. “why?”

sunghoon leaned up in his chair, exclaiming, “because it’s fun!”

you were going to say something, but he didn’t give you the chance.

sunghoon continued, “everyday, as adults, we do the same job for hours and come home. people want excitement in their lives. women get exhausted of coming home to their husbands or nobody at all.”

your stare was blank. “and your point is?”

“i didn’t just make those women want me, baby. i made them need me,” sunghoon told you smugly. “i brought a spark to their lives, and i took it away just as fast. and i do it… because i can.”

“because you could,” you corrected, confident he would never be free of this place for as long as he lived. “you’re going to be in here a very, very long time.”

sunghoon grinned. “i wouldn’t be so sure.”

you cocked your brow. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“wouldn’t you like to know?” sunghoon teased. you hated the smugness in his tone. like he knew something that you didn’t.

the door opened, and the guard from earlier returned. “i hate to interrupt, but it’s time for the count,” he said, coming behind sunghoon to undo his cuffs.

it all happened in a blink. sunghoon’s weight was pressed flush against yours, roughly thrusting you into the table. your body screamed, agony spreading through your side, but your gun was in a lockbox outside the room.

sunghoon knew from your conversations alone that you weren’t the type to go quietly. your first instinct was to fight back. naturally, you struggled against his hold, refusing to bend to his will even as panic shot through your chest. your whole body was on guard, aiming for survival.

but to your misfortune, your might was no match for sunghoon’s. you glanced to the guard for assistance, but when he only stood there as if he was waiting for it to end, the most unsettling feeling of realization washed over you.

“don’t fight him,” the guard said, arms crossed. “you won’t win.”

sunghoon snickered when he noticed your eyes widen in shock. you hadn’t seen that coming. though you tried to resist, it was over once his slender fingers came to your throat, and you genuinely feared for your life.

you didn’t realize how good you had it just being able to breathe until you couldn’t anymore. your breaths wouldn’t come. it felt as if your bones were being crushed. your whole body was on fight mode, but it was like sunghoon had the reins, shutting down your senses one by one.

“you put up a good fight, detective,” sunghoon whispered darkly in your ear, admiring your struggle.

your lips parted, but you couldn’t speak no matter how hard you tried. your self-preservation instincts were no match against him. all you could do was meet sunghoon’s stare. the pressure on your neck was too much to handle, and in seconds, you were out.

“lights out,” sunghoon said. he released your throat, having no intention of killing you and leading you for dead, but knowing that you would likely regain consciousness in a matter of seconds, he grabbed you by the hair, smashing your head flat against the table to subdue you.

heeseung winced, but he did nothing to step in. “poor girl,” he mumbled under his breath, pitying you. “had enough?”

“for now,” sunghoon replied. “let’s go.”

heeseung gave sunghoon a uniform to wear so that he would blend in amongst the uniforms like heeseung had and when he was ready, the two of them fled before they could be deterred.

when they had successfully gotten away, heeseung asked with his hand on a steering wheel, “you know that i don’t agree with this, right?”

sunghoon snickered. it had absolutely been said. “you haven’t agreed with my lifestyle for the past twenty-five years, yet you still help me. why?”

heeseung frowned. sometimes, he asked himself the same question, but deep down inside, he knew the answer. “because we may not share blood, but we’re brothers,” heeseung replied. “and for my brother, i’ll do anything you need.”

sunghoon quipped, “like smuggle me across the border?”

“like smuggle you across the border,” heeseung said, chuckling. “when we get there, there’s gonna be this dude named sunoo. he’s gonna help you out. i’ll be in touch.”

sunghoon nodded. “i can’t thank you enough, man.”

“just lay low and stay out of trouble,” heeseung said, shaking his head.

sunghoon grinned with mischief. he was already thinking about all of the beautiful women he couldn’t wait to get his hands on. “no promises,” he answered, sighing contentedly.

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long-live-astronerd-ghost-king · 7 months ago

Text

DP x DC prompt. Dead on main. AU with giant true ghost form of Danny.

In Gotham, strange things happened quite often. But only now did Dick really want Constantine or Zatanna around.

Cult leader: We hope the first victim will be tasty enough for you.

Jason finally frees himself from the gag. What is he going to do? Distract the attention of this thing on himself?

Red Hood: Eat him! Eat him!

Dick stared in horror. He knew that Damian didn’t yet get along with all the family members but he didn’t expect the outright hatred from Jason.

The creature’s movement is too fast. Dick blinks. Where is his brother? Did he fail him again?

Robin: Open your fucking jaw, you ghostly freak, or I’ll start knocking your teeth out and trust me, no dental coverage will cover it.

The face of the ghost takes a thoughtful expression.Nightwing can see as it is moving its tongue.

Just don’t swallow. Please. Don’t swallow.

The ghost finally spits out Robin. Then it wipes its lips.

Danny: Ew, do you wash at all, bird? My poor taste buds.

Robin: I’m in my work suit. Taste the dust and garbage of Gotham, big jerk. Why did you even lick me?

Danny:Hey, it was dangerous in here.

Damian lifts eyebrow.

Danny:..

Danny: And they smeared on you concentrated ectoplasm. I couldn’t control myself. Well, until I tasted Gotham on you. It killed the mood.

Robin:...

Danny: Sorry. But I was hungry, okay? And this stuff is toxic to people. You should thank me.

Damian: You’re just gross, disgusting..

Jason: Hey, don’t talk to my boyfriend like that!

Boyfriend?!!

Damian: Got the cult members? Good. Now shut your mouth, Hood.

Damian: But first untie Nightwing and tell your monster to apologize for almost make him have a heart attack.

Dick: Already did it myself. Thanks for the care.Then...

Dick: What the actual hell?! You two! No. You three owe me an explanation. Now!

Danny: Um. You must be Dick. Your brothers have told only good things about you.

Jason: Lie.

Damian: Total lie. I haven’t said one good thing about you.

Danny: He loves your hugs.

Damian: Get back to where you came from! Vicious lying creature! *aggressively erases the pentogram* I did not say this!

Dick: Stop it, both of you!

Dick: You!*points at Danny* Stop talking so loud! I have a headache.

Danny *nods*.

Dick: You! *points at Damian* Give me a hug!

Damian: But I’m covered in saliva, Grayson.

Dick: I said hug me!

Dick: You! *points at Jason* bring your boyfriend to the family reunion.

Jason: What? Again? For what?

Dick: What do you mean again? Who else knows?

Damian *frees his hands and starts counting*.

Damian: By my calculations, you’re the only one

Dick *exhales calmly*

Damian: who didn’t know it yet.

Dick: What the hell? Even Bruce?

Danny: Even Bruce.

Dick: Why am I always the last to know?

Damian: Because you don’t live in Gotham, Richard.

#dpxdc au #dpxdc #dpxdc prompts #dead on main #dead on main ship #danny fenton x jason todd #Danny x Jason

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theworldgate · 2 years ago

Text

I have to explain what is going on in the UK, because it is absurd.

So, this is Gary Lineker:

He's known for a fair few things over here. He was a very good (association) footballer, playing for England in the 1986 and 1990 World Cups, winning the Golden Boot in 1986, and managing to never get a single yellow card in his playing career. He played for Leicester City, Everton, Barcelona, and Tottenham, before finishing his career in Japan. But if you aren't in your mid 30s, you probably know actually know him him for a couple of other things. The first is the role of spokesman for another Leicester icon, Walkers Crisps (which are sort of equivalent to Lays, but hit different), as pictured above. Despite being a notably clean player, he used to play a cheeky serial crisp thief. I don't think he's done that for well over a decade, but his ads were on the telly a lot when I was a kid and it's a bit like learning that the hamburglar was an incredibly clean (American) football player or something.

The second thing Gary is widely known for is having presented Match of the Day, the big football program on the BBC, the sort-of state broadcaster, since 1999. He is, incidentally, very well paid for this (though with a consensus that he could get even more if he went to one of the non-free-to-view broadcasters because he is very good at the job). He also has a twitter account. And political opinions. So, the UK government has got itself dead set upon doing heinous stuff that will totally somehow work to prevent people who want to come to the UK making the perilous crossing of the Channel (between England and France). By heinous, I mean "openly advertise that they won't attempt to protect victims of modern slavery" stuff. It's very obviously using a legal hammer to victimise a marginalised group of people in order to win votes. And, uh, I should clarify that by "legal" I mean "using the passage of laws" - the policy is, in addition to all the other ways it's awful, probably incompatible with the Human Rights Act and the UK's international law obligations. Gary, top lad that he is, objected to this. On Tuesday 7th March, he made a quote Tweet of a video of the Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, bigging up the policy, he wrote "Good heavens, this is beyond awful.". This got a bunch of backlash from extremely right-wingers, and then he made the tweet that really got him in trouble (with right-wingers): "There is no huge influx. We take far fewer refugees than other major European countries. This is just an immeasurably cruel policy directed at the most vulnerable people in language that is not dissimilar to that used by Germany in the 30s, and I’m out of order?".

Now, I am not actually subjecting myself to watching a video of Suella Braverman bigging up a cruel policy to say whether the specific comparison of the language to 1930s Germany is accurate. But needless to say, Ms Braverman was amongst the many figures on the right of UK politics objecting to Gary's rhetoric. And here's the part where a fact about the BBC comes in: it is nominally neutral and impartial (and so, of course, is routinely accused of bias from all sides but particularly the right-wing), and has something of a code for its contributors to this effect. Now, that code has previously been applied to Gary Lineker, over a comment about whether governing Conservative Party would hand back donations from figures linked to the Russian regime. But it generally hasn't been applied too strongly to people like Gary, whose roles have nothing to do with politics (such as presenting a "here's what happened on the footie today" show), on the basis that, well, their roles have nothing to do with politics. However, when directly asked about whether the BBC should punish Gary Lineker for his tweets, government figures basically went "well, that's a them problem". But a couple of days passed, and it seemed like Gary's approach of "standing his ground because he did nothing wrong" was working and everything would die down. He was set to get 'a talking to' but not much more than that. The Conservative right, after all their fire and fury earlier, had gotten bored and moved onto something else. And then, on Friday 10th March, the BBC announced that he would be suspended from hosting Match of the Day this weekend. But it could still go ahead, because there are, like, other hosts! Except, well, funnily enough, when you take a beloved figure off air, for making a fairly anodyne tweet, no one wants to be the scab who actually takes up the role of replacing him. Gary's two co-hosts, Alan Shearer and Ian Wright, said that they would not appear without him. People who (co-)host Match of the Day on other days followed suit. The net result is that Match of the Day is currently set to air without hosts, BBC commentary, or global feed commentary. And the solidarity shown to Gary Lineker, over what is very flagrantly actual cancel culture and an attack on freedom of speech (the logic implied is that institutional impartiality requires that no one say anything too critical of the government ever), has continued to grow. The BBC has pretty much been unable to run pretty much any live sports content today, and has resorted to raiding the BBC Sounds archive to fill the sports radio channel. And, as of 17:30 on Saturday 11th March, the situation shows no signs of improvement, though some are calling for the Chairman Richard Sharp, who is separately facing corruption allegations, to resign (yes I linked to the BBC itself there, there is nothing, nothing, the BBC loves more than going into great detail about how much the BBC sucks).

#bbc #gary lineker #football #politics #uk politics #long post is long #text #motd #match of the day

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gghostwriter · 5 months ago

Text

A Series of Happenstance

Spencer Reid x House!Daughter!Reader

Summary: The three times Spencer loathed to see you and the one time he pleaded to Trope:Angst; think post Tobias Spencer Reid w.c: 5.2k Disclaimer: I am no way a medical personnel, least of all a psychiatrist so there will be medical inaccuracies A/N: this is part one of my house!daughter series and it’s angst, babes. Spencer is just mean and lashing out here which is totally understandable. It also took a while since writing such heavy pieces of fiction takes a toll on me but I hope, especially to the ones who were excited for this series, love it still. Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! 💗 masterlist

The first meeting

Spencer didn’t want to be here—here being in this cream colored, four cornered room, facing off the ultimate nemesis of profiler. Not an unsolvable case, not an unsub, but rather a psychiatrist contracted by the FBI for psych evaluation.

He was fine, he insisted to Hotch. He can compartmentalize well, he rationalized to Gideon. He just needed rest and the comfort of his own bed, he stated to the whole team. But protocols were protocols and his unit chief was a stickler to rules especially when it involved the care for his team.

That was how he found himself on a Tuesday afternoon, sitting in silence and watching the ticking of the clock as if it was the most interesting piece of art there was.

The tension was stifling. Spencer could almost see it tainting his vision red. Biting the insides of his cheek, he wanted to keep everything in.

No, he needed to.

He knew he was being rude, petulant even but for once, he didn’t have it in him to care. He didn’t know you. You were a complete stranger being paid by the government to report back any findings that could keep him out of the field. It wasn’t fair. You were just accepting the call of duty but you bore the brunt of his ire and hostile gaze.

In the normal setting, he would have found you intriguing. Your office colored in taupe—cold, distant, and linked to the desire to escape from the world but in the farthest side of the room was a shelf littered with books and small knick knacks that seemed to be collected over the years rather than curated to match the professional setting. The books ranged from published psychology dissertations, medical teaching materials, and collections of essays from well-revered and obscure writers.

You were dressed in black and white, standard for your importance, but your nails were painted in a pale pink color—close to looking natural but not quite. And lastly, your looks.

You were beautiful, don’t get him wrong, he may not have the same experiences as Morgan did with the opposite sex but he knows a beautiful attractive woman when he sees one. No, it wasn’t that, it was how young you looked—almost or maybe even sharing the same age as him.

A genius, then.

A prodigy in your own field just like him.

“Doctor Reid,” the low timber of your voice bringing him out of his musings. It sent a shiver down his spine when he first heard you speak. A reaction that he catalogued in his mind as a mystery to be revisited later on.

He subtly tilted his head to the side, an indication that you had his attention albeit reluctantly.

“Anything you say in this room is strictly confidential,” you gestured with your hand. “No file or notes will be passed to your unit chief or any personnels of the brass. I promise you.”

He scoffed, breaking his vow of silence. “That’s not a hundred percent true, Doctor. Lying to get your patient to talk can only get you so far.”

“I understand where you’re coming from but all I submit to the FBI is my conclusion if you’re fit to go back to work or not, patient-confidentiality still stands—” your delicate fingers feebly holding your pen. “Now, I sensed a little resentment. Is it coming from your self-loathing about having to choose a victim for Tobias Hankel or is it your displaced anger from separating with your team liaison, Agent Jareau?”

He glared at you. How dare you imply the seething anger from within him is directed at anyone but himself. “What? No, no, no. I’m not angry at anything or anyone! Maybe at you and this whole evaluation but never at JJ or—” he cut himself off.

“The suspect,” you continued on for him, jotting down notes on your black leather journal.

“The unsub. Unknown subject.” He corrected, second nature of him to do so. “We call them the unsub.”

You nodded, a lock of hair falling away from your bun. A distracting motion that momentarily rendered him speechless. “Alright. Are you angry at yourself and your decision to separate with Agent Jareau during the case?”

He scoffed but opted to stay silent. Spencer had already given too much of his emotion away by answering the earlier questions.

For any regular citizen, it may seem like the opposite but given the sound of you scribbling away on the pages of the notebook, you beg to differ.

You crossed your pant covered leg and stared into his eyes, a maneuver that could mean two things: 1) you were sizing him up, which was highly unlikely given the dynamics, regardless of his hostility or 2) you were trying to connect with him, a move backed by science that stated eye contact releases oxytocin—a bonding hormone.

A study he didn’t want to prove right at the moment.

“Do you perhaps feel remorse for the unsub?”

His left eye twitched. “Tobias Hankel.”

“Is there a reason behind why you’d prefer to call the unsub by name?” You further asked, having found a sore subject to poke and prod to elicit a reaction.

The answer was yes, of course. Tobias was just a victim as much as he, Spencer Reid, was—the unsub, in his eyes, was a victim of bad fate that resulted in fracturing his psyche but a shrink didn’t need to know that.

To be exact, the FBI didn’t need to know that he, an active and upstanding agent, felt remorse and guilt for not being able to save Tobias. Human emotion rarely had a place in bureaucracy and paperwork.

“How old are you?” Spencer nonchalantly inquired to throw you off his trail. “You look too young to be a Doctor contracted by the brass.”

You scribbled something again in your notebook before answering in a monotone voice as if your reply has been well rehearsed. “24, about to turn 25 and yes, I do look young. I graduated early due to my intelligence which I believe is the same case for you, Doctor—” you clasped your hands in front of you, leaning slightly forward. “—which brings us back to the topic, the anger inside of you, who is it directed to?”

His eyes shifted to the clock—5pm.

A small smile graced his face. The time was up.

“Well, I believe we’re done here, Doctor—” he proceeded to stand up, picking on an imaginary lint as he did so. “—I would say it’s been nice meeting you but that would be a lie you’d no doubt catch and analyze.”

Your lips pressed thinly together, imitating a smile but Spencer knew that move quite well—you were reining in any unsolicited and possibly inappropriate comment regarding his snappy behavior.

A small chuckle escaped his lips. If he, a profiler, considered you, a psychiatrist, his number one nemesis, there was no doubt you consider him the same.

As he was about to step out of the office, your slender fingers brandished a calling card.

“Here’s my number—” he gingerly took it as if it contained some unknown pathogen. “—and my door is always open when you’re ready to talk, Doctor Reid.”

He nodded once, a goodbye. “Doctor House.”

There was little doubt in Spencer’s mind that he’d never willingly stop by your office again but if he had been paying attention to your subtle patronizing words of farewell, he would have picked up that this encounter was far from over.

Especially when he found out on a busy Tuesday morning from Hotch that you had deemed him unfit to return back to the field—effectively barring him from the jet on its way to Idaho.

The second meeting

There was a series of rapid knocks on your office door.

As a psychiatrist with your own practice, it was highly unusual for clients to suddenly show up with no prior appointments or even a customary phone call.

It was a Tuesday morning and like clockwork, you’ve allotted the first half of the day in catching up with paperwork dealing with your office and evaluations for the FBI.

That gave you a pause, remembering a snipping agent who you deemed unfit for duty. Dr. Spencer Reid. The genius profiler who joined the ranks at the tender age of 22. A prodigy in his old field, just like you.

He was closed off, simmering with rage almost, and there was little doubt in your mind that he was the one behind the door, ceaselessly knocking. After all, when you sent in your evaluation directly to his unit chief, the stoic man’s face twitched with concern and maybe a little bit of annoyance in the paperwork it would entail.

“Come in,” you called out, hands clasping together on top of your desk. A perfect picture of professionalism.

The door swung open, revealing a tightly wounded Dr. Spencer Reid.

With a thick cardigan adorning on his body and a leather satchel draped over his shoulders to his front, he looked normal. But you knew better, his choice of outerwear represented a security blanket in the middle of September and his placement of satchel acted as a shield and its’ straps a stress ball. With just that one look you knew he wasn’t ready to back with his team.

“Dr. Reid, what can I do for you?” You asked, hand unclasping and indicating to the seat in front of you. “Please sit.”

Closing the door behind him, he shuffled closer to your desk but made no indication to sit down. “I’d rather stand, Dr. House, and I think you know why I’m here.”

A show of dominance. Right away, he wanted control the outcome of this conversation to his favor. It was textbook psychology, a taunt you wanted no part of.

A slight smile appeared on your face, one that could be translated as friendly for those open and condescending for those closed off. “I believe I don’t follow.”

“My evaluation, you made a mistake,” the left corner of his mouth lifting for a smirk. There was a vein visible on his temple, his anger and will to bottle it up manifesting physically.

You tilted your head to the side, unwavering in your gaze, hands clasped and index fingers tapping together. The pause and silence was a standard tactic to get a patient to break, similar to what law enforcement uses with suspects but results may vary especially when used on a seasoned profiler.

Right away, Spencer understood your tactic. “That won’t work. We use that in every case, I know the standard—” he looked around the room. “—should I lower the temperature too?”

You answered with silence. The agent in front of you now was no longer thinking clearly. His objective mind that would deem him fit to return for duty clouded with emotion, anger and something else.

His right hand touched above his left wrist. A subconscious move provoked by your unrelenting gaze. A move that gave away an important piece of information that his unit chief no doubt omitted in the reports.

Ah.

Tobias Hankel was a drug addict.

And in turn has subjected the agent in front of you to his vices.

You sighed. Suddenly the case no longer felt black and white, it was treading close to home as you remembered your father who’s abusing Vicodin in lieu of his leg pain. It was a sore spot for you—a clink in your armor.

“Sit, please,” you indicated to the chair in front of you again.

Spencer complied this time, having heard a change in your tone.

“Dr Reid,” you started. “I believe my evaluation of you is still correct—”

He opened his mouth to argue.

“—but, please let me finish, perhaps we can compromise. As a psychiatrist, it’s not in my practice to give in to my client’s demands but as you are not a regular client, I believe it would be beneficial for the both of us to reach an understanding.”

You walked towards the locked cabinet to your right. It was where you kept all medical equipments—including medicine for patients. Reaching back to the depths of the lower shelf, your hand brought out a non-descriptive black pouch from its hiding. You sat beside Spencer, effectively communicating that you are both on the same level.

“I will approve your return for duty as long as you come back for a couple of sessions, not FBI contracted, strictly confidential, and you—” handing him the zipped pouch before continuing on. “—get drug tested.”

Spencer narrowed his eyes. Perhaps he knew that his unit chief and mentor kept the delicate nature of his case out of the bureau and wondered how you pieced everything together. He underestimated you, you realized. A mistake on his end.

“I’m a psychiatrist, I know the signs Dr. Reid, and besides, I’m a genius just like you,” you adjusted your posture, slightly leaning back.

Check.

He smiled, one that you could say no longer contained malice. It was instead filled with resignation and relief. “You’re right. I underestimated you, Dr. House.”

Standing up, you dusted imaginary lint from your black pencil skirt before extending your hand out for a handshake.

He hesitated before reaching over shaking it once. His hands were rough and calloused from frequent holding of his gun but felt oddly warm and soothing. It represented who he was in your eyes—prickly and rough around the edges but soft and good on the inside.

As he exited your office with a soft thud of the door behind him, you admitted to yourself that you took a huge gamble. Rather than a checkmate, all you did was check his king. You didn’t ask if he had built his own stash of drugs after the case was finished. It was a risk you were willing to take just to take a step closer in getting the agent to trust you. Baby steps were better than nothing. You could work with that.

There was still the drug test you could rely on. A black and white piece of paper that would tell the truth if done at the right time. After all, the most important teaching your father, the older Dr. House, has imparted on you was—

Everybody lies.

The third meeting

The bar at the corner Main Street on a Friday night was a rare place for you to be. The echoes of its pulsing music could be heard a couple of shops away, luring bodies than the space could ever handle like it were Pied Piper and the people—by extension, you, were the unsuspecting kids. The lights were colored orange, giving the area a tint of good times and bad decisions. The aged brick walls discolored in a multitude of shades and the decorative posters were aimlessly nailed to the wall. There was a section far from the bar that was filled with moving bodies—people letting loose and exhibiting what you’d call a mating dance for anyone interested and beside the bar were two dart boards, popular with the crowd, but had seen better days.

This wasn’t your usual scene as you excused your way to the bar tucked at the center space. It wasn’t due to snobbery, like what your friend Kyle once joked, it was preference.

The sticky floor beneath your sensible nude heels had you wishing that your feet were tucked in a soft blanket with mind numbing television playing in the background instead of navigating the throng of people holding their drink of choice and inhaling the musky scent of liquor and sweat.

“Haven’t seen you around here,” a tenor voice flirted from beside you.

Your eyebrow raised as you took in the source—a burly African-American with a buzzcut. There was something distinct about him that set him apart from the rest. It wasn’t his built or the way his grey shirt stretched to fit around his biceps. It also wasn’t the twinkle in his eye as he tried to entice you to flirt back. One of his hands drifted down to his waist and with his wide leg stance, you knew.

A cop. An off duty law enforcement officer.

You laughed. “Does that line usually work on women, especially from—” you paused for suspense. ”—a cop?”

“Okay,” the stranger chuckled. “Close, want to try again?”

A smile stretched your glossed pink lips. You were never one to back away from a challenge—it was one of the traits you inherited from the other Dr House.

“Well, if we’re basing it on where the bar is located nearby and my fifty percent guess from a while ago, I’d say you were a cop—maybe for a couple of years, before joining the FBI. Maybe counter terrorism—” the memory of Dr. Reid talking about his team found its way to the forefront of your mind. “—or by any chance, the BAU?”

He could no longer hide the surprise from his face. “Right, that’s right. What gave it away? Was it my ruggedly handsome looks or are you just a mind reader?”

You thanked the bartender before trying to find your way out of the surge of people behind you, clamoring to place their order. The stranger stretched out his muscular arms, guiding you away from the bar towards his booth.

“Just a mind reader,” you simplified—an action that came as second nature to you. In the past, when you would disclose your job as a psychiatrist, people would react in two ways. One, they’d get subconscious that you’d read into every body language they’d have, causing them to shy away or two, they’d become over-zealous and ask you to diagnose them all in good fun like it was some sort of magician’s trick.

A mop of light brown curly hair parked beside a long blonde hair caught your periphery. He had his back turned but it was a presence you’ve slowly started getting familiar with. It was Dr. Spencer Reid, out in the natural setting, a first.

Your eyes slowly widened as you realized where he was guiding you and who he might be.

“Huh,” you uttered under your breath before flashing a smile to the stranger beside you. “Are you by any chance, Derek Morgan?”

“Okay, now you’re starting to freak me out. How’d you do that, Ms. Mind Reader?”

A different timber of voice answered. “It’s because I told her—” a pair of hazel eyes turned to you, filled with accusation. “—Dr. House. Are you keeping tabs on me?”

“Dr. Reid, I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

He scoffed. “In a bar? Near my office? The statistics on seeing me here is actually surprisingly high.”

He was hostile, understandably so as here you were, a stranger, who knows his deepest, darkest secret mixing in with the otherwise innocent parties of his personal life. It was no harm, caused no click in your armor—he’d been cooperative as of the late within the confines of your office but seeing you beyond the four corners of your taupe walls threw him off the loop.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t think I caught your name,” the blonde woman beside Spencer, flashed you a smile, hand stretching out for a handshake. “I’m Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ.”

You shook her hand. “Ah, it’s great to meet you, Agent Jareau.”

“So, how do you know Spence?”

You smiled, unsure on how to disclose your psychiatrist-patient relationship with someone he works with. You didn’t know how much his team members knew about his scheduled Saturday meetings with you or if they even knew at all what Dr. Reid was going through.

From the past appointments, you’ve categorized the agent as an anxious avoidant type—something geniuses who grew up in a non-secure household tend to share. Yourself, included.

Your eyes glanced at Spencer before drifting towards the table behind him, subtly trying to figure out his choice of drink. You hoped it was non-alcoholic. He’d be suffering from withdrawals and if he clung to a substitute vice, you’d have to find a roundabout way to tackle the issue without pushing him to close off again. You didn’t need that, he was just starting to open up after all, plus if he stopped cooperating, you’d have no choice but to bring it up to his supervisors, jeopardizing his career.

A clear glass came into view as he shuffled his weight from one foot to the other.

Water. It was water.

You breathed a sigh of relief before slowly panning up, locking eyes with Dr. Reid. His gaze narrowed, having understood what you were checking on.

Checkmate.

“She’s FBI’s contracted psychiatrist,” he explained, jaw tight from anger.

You flashed him a little smile before averting your eyes in chagrin.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you look a little to young to be a licensed doctor,” Agent Jareau observed.

“I graduated early.”

Morgan’s left hand pats your back while the other pats Dr. Reid’s. “Another genius, then. You’d get along great with our pretty boy over here. He’s always going on and on about facts and statistics—“

“No offense Morgan, but I don’t think we’d get along at all,” Spencer sneered. “I’d rather not get to know someone who has an ulterior motive.”

Your hand tightened around your glass. “It’s great to meet you, Agent Jareau and Agent Morgan but I think my friends would be looking for me,” you flashed the young agent a dejected smile. “Dr. Reid, hope to see you again soon.”

“I don’t,” he sardonically replied.

You nodded once before turning back to where you friends would be, settled in the four seater booth, unaware that you may have just burned the rocky bridge you’ve built with a patient in need.

The fourth meeting

A warbled hum roused you from slumber.

With one eye straining to stay open, the digital clock on your dresser displayed 12:21. Midnight—the time for humans to all be in stupor but based on the humming, subdued underneath your pillow, there was one exception.

You sat up, blindly reaching for the phone. There was no programmed name for the number and right away, an eerie feeling started swirling in your gut. This was no social call. A call this hour could only be one thing, an emergency.

“Hello. Who is this?” Your voice still rough from sleep.

No answer.

You pressed the phone closer to your ear, hard enough to possibly leave a mark. There were light rustles on the other end that indicated a presence, a person that wouldn’t or couldn’t answer your inquiry.

“Hello,” you tried again, voice raising at the end from tension. “Is anyone there?”

There was silence. The dread in your stomach further worsening as if group of bats decided to wreak havoc in its dark crevices. There was no indication that this was a prank call and there was also no indication that it wasn’t.

You bit your lip, torn between hanging up and waiting for an existence to make itself known. It could be nothing or it could be—your train of thought suddenly taking a sharp left turn to the corner that a certain FBI agent unknowingly occupies. You had given him your number, having scrawled it at the back of your calling card during the very first meeting, purely out of the goodness of trying to put back the broken genius that graced and intrigued your doors.

“Dr. Spencer Reid?” You hesitantly asked, hoping that your intuition was wrong. That this wasn’t the agent calling for help.

A deep groan answered.

“Oh gods,” you breathed out. “Okay, okay. Just—shit, just stay on the line. I’m coming, I swear. Just—fuck.” Your feet scrambled out of the apartment, never mind the lights or the chill that the midnight had cloaked the air with.

It was your worst nightmare. You knew what this call was, you knew his state on the other side of the phone by experience.

Hands trembling as you started the ignition of your car and speedily backing up the parking lot and out the streets in little time.

“Spencer,” formality be damned at this point as you turned a sharp right, your GPS indicating 8 minutes away from destination. “Spencer, are you still there?”

A light rustle replied.

“I’m almost there, hang on for me, okay,” your hand letting go of the steering wheel to push the tousled hair away from your face.

Each second felt like an eternity, each time passed threatened to push your mind into the fog of panic and memory of your very own father taking a whole bottle of Oxycodone and leaving a message for you and your grandmother. The panic, the fear, and the dread of that very moment had come back in two folds.

Your clammy fingers leaving pinch marks on the back of your palm. “Not now, not now,” you whispered to yourself. “I can’t have an attack now, keep it together.”

“Dr. House,” Spencer gravely slurred.

You haphazardly parked the car at the nearest available sidewalk space, uncaring if by some miracle you get ticketed. “I’m here, Spencer. I’m here.”

There was a groan as you hurriedly ran up the apartment stairs, grateful that the security below was surprisingly lax.

Third floor, get to the third floor. I need to get to the third floor—you repeated under your breath. You could have called an ambulance or better yet his team member, SSA Derek Morgan, but you felt the urge to make sure he was alright. To make him see that someone else besides from his mother and team care about him. To make him see that life was worth living, no matter the good or the bad.

“Spencer, I’m outside your door,” you tried to catch your breath. “Do you think you could let me in?”

And for a few seconds, there was only the tense silence before a series of gasps and groans crescendo’ed louder and louder from the phone speaker and on the other side of the door.

Shit. You knew what those grunts of pain and pleas meant, he was seizing.

Slamming down on the ground, uncaring if your exposed knees get bruised, you sent a silent thank you to your past self for leaving a hair pin inside the pockets of your sleep shorts. Breaking and entering was yet another skill set you learned from the other Dr House and his team of skilled doctors, you just never imagined you’d be applying that knowledge in breaking and entering a federal agent’s home.

The door unlocked and you barreled your way to the living space where a frightful sight greeted you—Spencer on the floor, laying still as if he was peacefully sleeping.

“No, no, no,” you slid beside him, mind cataloguing every detail for the right action. An empty needle near his exposed right arm and an empty glass bottle of Dilaudid.

No rise and fall of the chest.

And no pulse. Medical training kicking in, you tilted his head up, clearing the pathway, and started chest compressions.

One. Two. Three—

“C’mon, Spencer, breathe,” you grunted in between pumps.

One. Two. Three. Four—

You leaned down to his chapped lips, blowing air to his mouth. “I need you to breathe for me, okay. Breathe, Spencer.”

One. Two. Three. Four. Five—

“Breathe, c’mon Spencer,” you knew there was a high probability for the agent to have his own stash of narcotics and in by agreeing to keep his secret, lest he loses his badge, to get him to open up was a gamble. A risk you were now regrettably paying for.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six—

“Dammit Spencer, I could lose my license for this. Breathe, I need you to breathe.”

A sputtering of coughs escaped his lips.

“Oh thank you, thank you,” you breathed out, arms sagging from the pressure of performing CPR and the weight of fear that you might have been too late.

Spencer groaned. “Dr. House?”

You nodded, the salty tears blurring your vision. The image of him lying still was burned into your memory, the same way the mirage of your own father lying in a pool of his own vomit. He’s alive—they’re both alive.

Your hands angrily erased the rivulets the tears left behind on your cheeks. Now wasn’t the time to give in to relief and emotion. Although Spencer was out of the woods, there was still a huge uphill battle to tackle.

“I’ll carry you to bed, lean your weight on me,” you huffed as you helped him up the floor, making sure to take in most of his weight that you could.

The form of you, tears still streaming down your face and steps away from a breakdown, and his hunched form, weak and pliant, was a sight to behold. It was a sight after battle—after the white flag had been waved and the injured tying their best to find their way back to life.

It was sad. It was hopeful.

It was a brush on humanity’s eternal friend, death. Death that still loomed in the corners of the apartment, biding his time to take what was promised.

You laid him gently on the bed before running back to the spied kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. The smell of books permeated the air as if to try and bring your panicked mind back to the present. If it were any other day, you would have found yourself perusing his shelves of eclectic classic literature but this wasn’t the right time and place.

Your bare feet sliding across the floor to make its way back to the groaning figure on the bed, threatening to sit up.

“No,” you tapped his shoulder to get him back down. “I need you to rest.”

“But—”

“No buts Spencer. Rest, I’ll stay here.”

His drooping eyes reading yours, trying to find any type of lie that would break his being further than it already was. Spencer was a broken man and this was the first time you could see written in his eyes his plea for help and company. “You promise?”

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

His hands blindly groping across the bed spread before it found the treasure it was searching for, your hand. He enveloped his with yours, calloused fingers intertwining with smooth. A contrast that brought him comfort—you were here. You were real. You felt safe. You saved him.

He was alive.

And with that, his eyes closed to fall into a peaceful slumber, one that he hadn’t had in months.

Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

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thedoctorajcrowley · 4 months ago

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I am truly a nobody in the vast fandom that is GO. I stand on the periphery reblogging things with thirsty tags and reading fics. However, I love this book and show with my whole heart.

I am standing here holding both ends of the dialectic: I am sad, devastated that we won’t get our 6 episodes and all the lovely bits that will need to be cut. I am sad we won’t have more than 90 minutes of David and Michael acting out the characters that they and we love so dearly. I am exhausted that another fandom has been hurt by the bad actions of one man. And my heart aches for the victim survivors.

And, too, I am relieved and grateful that those who could fought bts for us to even get those 90 minutes. I am grateful we get to see Terry’s dream ending and David and Michael together on our screens again. I am aware (though realize I don’t know the full details) of how close we came to getting nothing at all. 90 minutes is a short movie but I remember so much can happen in a movie and all the world building has been done.

Outside and beyond this dialectic, I want to express gratitude to the fandom. The bits that I see from where I stand on the edges is a delight. I see people giving others permission to mourn and permission to celebrate and the nuance to recognize both can be true at the same time. I see posts encouraging others to have faith that those bts love this story as much as we do (if not more) and as a result we are not facing total cancellation by Amazon.

I see fans stepping in to provide comfort and reassurance where before we may have turned to the one man who nearly wrecked this all for all of us. Many looked up to him as a type of parent figure, especially queer people who may not have had a supportive parent in their own lives. And I see the fandom as a whole stepping into the void that was left. He didn’t make GO and the fandom the magical place it is, the fans have done that.

And for that, I am endlessly grateful.

#good omens #gos3 #david tennant #michael sheen #go fandom #good omens fandom #my thoughts #okay to reblog #cw neil gaiman

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koqabear · 1 year ago

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chulo

♫: Chulo Pt. 2, Bad Gyal

"Your hermit of a roommate finally decides that he’s had enough of your attitude. And of your constant assumptions that he’s never felt the touch of a woman. "

taehyun x fem!reader

Genre: pwp, roommates au, smut, enemies to lovers if you squint, ft. wingman jjun

Word count 11.4K

warnings: barely edited and barely any plot mwah, use of drugs (weed) and alcohol; mentions of the mc getting drunk (not during any of the smut), jealousy

smut warnings: sub!mc, mean dom!tyun, strength kink !! bratty mc and brat tamer tyun, high sex, shotgunning, degradation, praise, pain kink, spanking, hair pulling, thigh riding, begging, pet names/name calling (slut, baby, princess, pretty/good girl, etc.) manhandling, brief choking, mentions of safeword (it’s not used though), brief marking, biting, oral, (f. rec), face sitting, tyun is a literal pussy fiend. fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, tyun is thick and big yawnnn what else is new, dumbification maybe, slight humiliation (kink? maybe.),breast play, scratching, possessiveness, creampie (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

(lmk if i should add anything lmao)

Notes: just leaving this here to remind u guys that i am the least sane solomon on this app. i actually only wrote this for myself but congrats u all get to read it too. say thank youuu!

Taehyun was, for lack of a better word, a total goody-two-shoes; always holed up in his room studying, the only times he ever left home being for work, school, or to go run an errand. He was also your beloved roommate.

It was meant to be, really; jumping blindly at the offer your mutual friend Yeonjun offhandedly mentioned, commenting about how his friend was struggling to find someone in order to split rent— “his old roommate moved out, now he’s going broke trying to afford the place on his own.”

And you, in all your bright-eyed and enthusiastic glory, didn’t hesitate to ask for details; one long interrogation later, and you found yourself getting interviewed by the man himself— how you were able to snatch the title of Taehyun’s new roommate is something you’re still unsure of.

Because as far as you’re aware, the two of you couldn’t be any more different.

“You’re going out again?” you hear Taehyun call out from the kitchen, the said man able to hear you approaching from the hallway from the jingling of your jewelry— something he was always on your ass for, never failing to comment how you’re like a walking tambourine with that stupid quirk to his lips— the sound of his voice teeming with judgment only brought about a roll of your eyes, trudging over to the kitchen to send him a harsh glare; you made a point of placing your bangle clad wrists on your hips, the action bringing about another soft jingling.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, raising a brow expectantly; Taehyun seems unfazed by your sudden confrontation, not a single muscle twitching at your accusatory tone— his back remains turned to you, leaning on the kitchen counter leisurely while he scrolls on his phone— at the sound of your persistent hmm? He peeks over his shoulder to meet eyes with you.

“You were out till three yesterday,” he says nonchalantly, only turning so he can properly look at you whilst keeping an eye on the stove, “Is partying all you do?”

You can tell he’s trying to provoke you— but you know better than to fall for it and get angry, already victim to his constant mocking and teasing to realize that he seems to enjoy getting a rise out of you— so you simply roll your eyes and scoff, crossing your arms over your chest before you’re turning on your heel and beelining back to the door.

“You know damn well…” you mutter to yourself, sneering at the chuckles you’re able to pick up on, “It’s none of your business anyway!”

“Yeah, it kinda is!” Taehyun retorts, but you’re too busy slipping on your shoes and your jacket to voice out a rebuttal— swinging your purse over your shoulder, you’re able to catch his final comment right as you’re slipping out the door; “I’m not making the hangover soup again!”

“Fuck you and your soup!”

You shut the door behind you before Taehyun can get a word out.

☆☆☆

“How are you two still living together?”

The natural light that streams in through the windows and the sound of Yeonjun’s raspy voice is enough to have you wincing with pain and ducking your head down; hot steam from your bowl soothes your skin and puffy eyes, your body still sore from the night before as you sink into the chair with a tired sigh.

“Because as insufferable as she is, she still pays her share of the rent,” Taehyun mutters bitterly, setting down a second bowl of soup before your mutual friend, pulling out the chair across from your as he goes to sit with crossed arms, “aren’t you gonna eat? You were begging me for this earlier.” Your lips automatically go to form a scowl, but your hand still goes to reach for your spoon— because as much as you hated feeding into Taehyun’s big fat ego, you couldn’t deny that he makes some killer hangover soup; you could already feel the tension easing from your muscles from the first bite—- your eyes remained glued to the table, knowing better than to glance back up and catch the stupid triumphant look Taehyun never bothers to hide.

“Fucking insufferable,” you mumble between bites, glancing at the way Yeonjun seems to catch onto your words, shoulder shaking with the soft laugh he huffs out.

“Me?” Taehyun gawks, leaning forward as though to make sure he was hearing things right; neither of you respond, which only serves to make him more irked.

“As far as I’m aware, I’m the one that has to deal with you— always coming back late and drunk as hell—” Taehyun’s pointed glare jumps over to Yeonjun, who simply flinches and averts his gaze down to the table, “you said you’d be watching over her last night.”

“I’m not a baby,” you butt in, ignoring Taehyun’s look of disbelief, “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“And yet you’re always asking me to take care of you.”

You shrug dismissively, the last bit of your energy spent as you find yourself no longer interested in arguing; staring down at your bowl, you found that you were so busy trying to ignore Taehyun’s piercing glare that you ended up scarfing down your soup in a haste— standing abruptly, you go to place your dishes in the dishwasher before you’re spinning around and sending Taehyun a bright, innocent smile.

“It’s not my fault you always jump to come help me out,” you coo, wincing at the soreness of your body and the sharp ache in your head as you make your way over to him, cupping his face and squeezing his cheeks together, leaning in close to him even as he begins to fuss and swat at your hands angrily, “and you’re just soooo caring and sweet with me— it’s in your nature, don’t lie.”

“It gets tiring listening to you complain around the house,” Taehyun sneers grabbing your wrists firmly and pulling your hands off his face swiftly— the sudden strength catches you off guard, hands falling dumbly at your sides as you can only stare at Taehyun as he continues, cold and aloof as always, “It’s the only way I can get you to shut up.”

“Sureee… sure,” you mumble offhandedly, clearly unimpressed by his excuse as you saunter off to the living room instead, making yourself comfortable on the couch before you’re yelling back to the kitchen one last time.

“Jjunie,” you call, waiting for the muffled hmm? of the said man before you continue, “are we still down for the part next Saturday? Jake’s place?”

“Oh… uhhhm,” he pauses, and you’re sure Taehyun is probably sending him a deadly glare right now, “sure, if you want to.”

“Of course I want to,” you grin, pulling out your phone to look up Jake’s instagram page, scrolling through his feed to get a refresher of what he looks like, the satisfaction of what you see seeping into your voice as you speak, “Partying’s all I do.”

You swear you hear a scoff; it only serves to make you anticipate the weekend a little more.

☆☆☆

“You’re leaving like that?”

Your body is jolting in surprise, the mascara wand in your hand clattering on your desk as you curse in shock— Taehyun stands in your now opened doorway, unable to sense his presence due to the focus you were putting in to make sure your makeup came out perfect— meeting his gaze through the mirror, you frown, nose scrunching in distaste at the way he clearly judges you; your hand reaches for your phone, turning down the music you were playing in order to actually hear him properly.

“Don’t you know how to knock?”

“I tried. I’ve been trying. For the past three minutes,” Taehyun says, ignoring your complaints as he makes his way into your room, coming up behind you as he scans your setup— he ignores the way you continue to glare at him harshly, eyes running slowly over the mess you’ve made before he’s leaning down and reaching across the vanity; you’re pressed back against the chair and left to watch as his arm obscures your vision, hoping he didn’t pick up on the way your eyes glued onto his muscles that bulged slightly as he reached for the charger plugged into the far outlet.

“You never gave this back,” Taehyun sighs, and before you can refute that you were just about to, he gives you a pointed look with that raised brow of his. “It’s been three days.”

“My bad,” is all you can bring yourself to say, picking up your mascara wand again as you go back to applying your makeup carefully— but it’s hard to concentrate, especially with the way Taehyun continues to linger behind you, able to feel his warmth due to how close he is— and you glance over your shoulder, scanning him up and down before you’re turning back to your vanity, “is there something else I can help you with?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“What, the whole why are you dressed like that thing? Are you seriously expecting an answer to that?” you ask, putting your mascara away as you move to your lips instead, “It’s nothing new, I don’t know why you’re so fixated on that right now.”

“Nothing new?” Taehyun repeats, and through the reflection of the mirror, you’re able to catch the way he frowns in disbelief and scans you once more. “You never dress like this for house parties.”

“Hmm,” you hum softly, doing your final touch ups before you’re standing abruptly, spinning around to face Taehyun with a pout, “it’s the skirt right? It’s throwing the whole thing off.”

Taehyun watches as you push past him and head straight to your closet; glancing over your shoulder and nodding at him to sit on your bed, turning back around before you can catch the way he hesitantly follows your command— and you’re turning back around with three more garments in your hand, each option smaller than the one before— the sight has his brows jumping briefly.

“I was thinking this one at first— I think the darker denim is cuter though, like this one,” you press each skirt to your waist, peeking at yourself in your body length mirror before you switch to the next option; again, you’re pouting and shaking your head, throwing the first two options aside before you’re turning around to show Taehyun the last option proudly.

“But actually, I think this one is the one— look at the pockets, they’re sooo cute,” you smile, flipping the garment over to show him— and indeed, they’re blinged out and sparkly, just like the rest of you; you hold it against your waist, checking yourself out in the mirror with satisfaction.

“That— that barely covers you.”

“So?” you effortlessly reply, tilting your head and meeting Taehyun’s gaze through the mirror; dramatically, you gasp, mouth falling open and brows rising as you proceed to blatantly mock him, “Oh, is this too scandalous for you? Sorry, I forget you’re a bit more… reserved. It’s okay, you don’t have to stay in here if it makes you uncomfortable.”

You’re biting your tongue as you listen to Taehyun sputter behind you in confusion; through the corner of your eye, you’re able to watch as his brows knit together, leaning forward and tilting his head as he struggles to find a response.

“Where the hell did you get that from?”

“Oh,” you trail off, tsking awkwardly and amping up your dramatics as you pause— Looking over your shoulder, you meet Taehyun’s prying gaze, returning it with a faux apologetic smile. “Y’knoww… Yeonjun told me. About you.”

If anything, that only serves to confuse Taehyun even more— and worry him, if the way he stares off into space, visibly deep in thought, serves as any indicator.

“What did he tell you,” Taehyun mutters, the question more directed to himself as he racks his mind for possible answers— but you beat him to it, continuing your efforts to keep a poker face as you shrug innocently.

“Just… about you. Relationships, experience…” and you’re turning your back to him, muttering the last part and taking in the way Taehyun leans forward even more to catch what slips out your mouth, “or, lack thereof.”

“Excuse me?”

“We were talking about our own stuff and you kinda just came up in the conversation randomly!” you say defensively, “It’s nothing to be ashamed of! It’s okay to shy away from… this lifestyle, or whatever you like to call it— there’s nothing wrong with being your little introverted self, tyunnie.”

You’re provoking him— you’re setting up quite the bait, and it’s working, because Taehyun can only find himself able to gawk at you in disbelief, mouth parted slightly in wonder of it all— your cute nickname flies over his head in favor of processing the fact that you basically just called him a homebody. A virgin.

Just when Taehyun thinks he’s found the words to respond to such an outlandish accusation, your phone dings with a notification— you’re all but bouncing over to it excitedly, hovering over the device and letting out a soft ah! In excitement— sending Taehyun a pleading smile, he’s already able to guess what you’ll ask of him.

“Junie’s here! Can you please please please go answer the door for me? I need to change.” you watch Taehyun hesitate for a moment; he then nods reluctantly, getting up slowly before he trudges out of your room, your words still bouncing around the walls of his mind as you shut the door and yell out a cute thank you! As you do.

Taehyun opens the front door to find an equally flashy Yeonjun on the other side— the sight of his over the top outfit is enough to catch Taehyun off guard and have all his thoughts tumbling out of his mouth without restraint.

“Did you tell her I was a virgin?”

Yeonjun’s brows jump up in disbelief— he’s halting mid step through the doorway, sending Taehyun a confused look before he steps inside and closes the door behind him— looking at his friend for further explanation, Yeonjun is only met with Taehyun crossing his arms with an expectant look.

“Dude. What the hell are you on about.”

“Why is ___ acting like I’m a total prude— saying you told her I was inexperienced,” Taehyun isn’t exactly sure why tonight’s comment was what set him off— you’ve been like this for as long as he could remember, always portraying Taehyun as someone pure, innocent, and stuck-up— he always thought you were joking, but as it turns out, that might not be the case.

“Oh— she’s probably not being serious, don’t worry,” Yeonjun shrugs, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets, craning his neck to try and get a glance down the hallway, seeing if you’re finally ready— you’re nowhere to be seen, and Yeonjun sighs impatiently.

“Okay, but what did you say to her?” Taehyun presses on, eyes narrowing at the sight of Yeonjun pressing his lips together hesitantly, “Yeonjun.”

“I just said that it’s… rare to ever see you get interested in anyone,” Yeonjun pouts, but Taehyun can tell that’s not the full truth— Yeonjun caves in after a moment, gulping softly and lowering his voice to nothing but a murmur, “and that she should stop flirting with you, cause you wouldn’t even know how to handle all that.”

“You what?!”

“Yeonjunnie, what do you think?” your voice is sweet and lilted as you finally come out of your room, interrupting Taehyun’s heated outburst with your jingling jewelry— the two men are turning over to you, Taehyun too busy taking in your appearance to notice Yeonjun sighing in relief at your well-timed interruption.

“So?” you ask, doing a cute spin that has Taehyun’s eyes widening and his hands clenching— yeah, that skirt was practically a belt, your pretty skin lotioned up and shining under the lights, the spin only allowing him to get a perfect whiff of your addicting scent, “Y’think I can get Jake’s attention with this?”

The name has Taehyun frowning before he can even process it— behind him, Yeonjun whistles at your dolled-up self, doing a once over as he proceeds to hype you up.

“Are you kidding? I’m gonna have to fend you off from everyone in that place,” he says, reaching out for your hand and grinning at the way you giggle and take it, your fingers interlacing naturally, “he’s gonna be all over you.”

“Jake? You can’t actually be attracted to that douchebag,” Taehyun frowns, watching the way your expression immediately drops at his comment.

“I am, actually. It’s nothing serious, just a hook up at most,” you roll your eyes, voice turning undeniably bitter as you bend down to slip on your shoes, the sight of your panties peeking out from the skirt, tucked neatly between your thighs not lost on Taehyun, “Plus, I heard he really knows how to treat a woman.”

Taehyun’s gaze snaps up to meet Yeonjun’s; his glare is lethal enough to kill, and the recipient can only shrug sheepishly in return.

“Sleep well Taehyun,” you remark, clearly poking fun at the fact that Taehyun usually sleeps much earlier than you, never failing to call him a grandpa for it, (which is ridiculous, considering that you barely sleep.) “You don’t have to worry about me— probably won’t be home tonight.”

You’re closing the door and dragging Yeonjun with you before Taehyun can respond, probably off to pregame outside while you wait for your uber; he’s left staring at the spot you just stood at, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed in anger— a minute goes by, and something decidedly shifts within Taehyun.

He’s gotta do something about this image you have of him. He should probably fix that attitude of yours too, while he’s at it.

☆☆☆

“Where the hell is he?” it’s something you seem to have asked for the umpteenth time tonight, leaning against the wall and pouting at your friend while you stand in line for the bathroom— you’ve been at the party for a solid hour now, and you still have yet to see Jake around. And to think, he was the one who invited you to his place in the first place. How rude.

“I told you not to give him a chance!” Yeonjun yells, leaning in closer so you can actually hear him through the booming music and the crowds of people singing along to whatever’s blasting from the living room, “this party fucking sucks, too.”

You can only exaggerate your pout further with a petulant humph. Your body slouches and you can already feel your heart getting heavy with disappointment, unable to refute the way your best friend proceeds to mutter something about Jake probably being too busy sucking off another girl’s face in a random room of the house.

“You never gave in to his advances— you said he was a man-whore,” Yeonjun continues to recall, wincing at the sight of two random girls rushing past him and to the front of the line, carrying their clearly shit-faced friend and screaming about how she’s going to throw up all over— the two of you cringe, exchanging a glance and mutually agreeing that you two can hold it a little more; you slowly trudge your way back to where everyone else is. “What changed? Why’d you give in?”

You scoff, lips upturned with distaste as you send your friend a glare— the wound still as fresh as ever, voice dripping with venom as you lean close to Yeonjun’s ear so he can actually hear you.

“Junnie, you know why!” you whine, smacking his shoulder and ignoring the way he childishly yelps, “I’ve officially decided to move on— I can’t stand flirting with a brick wall anymore, I need to… need to…”

You’re trailing off, gaze wandering off to a foreign point, Yeonjun’s brows furrowing before he begins to follow your line of sight— and just like you, Yeonjun remains speechless, the unexpected sight leaving your jaws gaping.

“This can’t be real.”

But it is. The way Taehyun is currently leaning casually against the wall, drink in hand and coy smile on his face as he talks to some random girl, is very real. You can recognize that man anywhere— even in this crowded room of dancing and jumping bodies, your eyes still remain glued to him.

But, the more you look at him, the more you realize something— he looks… different. It’s subtle, but it’s still there; the mischievous glint in his eyes, his relaxed posture and the hair that falls into his eyes, he has a confident, sly air to him you’ve never seen before— the girl leans up on her tippy-toes to whisper something in his ear, a hand on his shoulder to get stabilized, and the two laugh; your mind is too preoccupied with the way her hand lingers, the way Taehyun tilts his head in amusement, to realize the frown that has pulled your face together.

Taehyun brings the can of beer in his hand to his lips— he turns his head, and his eyes find yours effortlessly.

“He actually came,” Yeonjun awes beside you, and that’s enough to have your head whipping toward him, trying to ignore the way your face burns at the sudden eye contact, still able to feel his eyes linger on you for a moment after.

“What are you talking about? Did you give him the address?” you say, your voice whiny as you speak, surprised to find that you’re not exactly sure how to feel at his sudden appearance— torn between the sudden interest he piqued within you and the disappointment that festeres in your stomach, knowing that now that Taehyun is here, you won’t think twice to give anyone else any attention.

“Hmm? No, he was invited,” Yeonjun says, glancing back to where Taehyun is, looking back to find your confused expression, “him and Jake go way back.”

You’re kidding.

“Nope. Those two were fucking menaces,” Yeonjun laughs— it seems as though the words must’ve slipped out of your mouth, the shock painted on your face more amusing to your friend than anything, “they used to host the craziest parties— now that I think about it though, that was probably all Taehyun’s work.”

“Wait… don’t tell me that…” you glance over to where Taehyun remains, then glance back at Yeonjun, reading his expression carefully and gasping, “was Jake Taehyun’s old roommate?”

Yeonjun nods, as though the news wasn’t earth-shattering to you.

“After a while, I guess Taehyun just didn’t feel like keeping up with the fast life… I don’t blame him though.” Yeonjun shrugs, his eyes beginning to drift behind you, drawing you to turn around at the sound of the crowd on the dance floor cheering and yelling obnoxiously— and sure enough, Jake can be seen in the middle of a circle, flashlights of phone cameras recording lighting him up clear as day— you wince at the sight of a random girl dancing up on him, the sight leaving you to shudder and wonder why you were even gonna give him the time of day.

Ah, right.

“I can’t believe I was about to rebound on him with an old friend,” you breathe out, bristling at the sound of Yeonjun’s laughter, whipping your head around to send him a harsh glare, “and you were going to let me!”

Yeonjun raises his hands up defensively.

“Hey, I was just being a good friend,” he says, but with the way he smiles mischievously, you don’t buy it a bit. “I support women’s wrongs, or whatever.”

“You prick,” you mutter miserably, gaze inevitably wandering back to where Taehyun remains; frowning at them now being visibly closer, Taehyun’s hand resting leisurely on the girl’s waist as they talk.

And again, his eyes flicker back to meet yours.

“You know, he’s only here for you,” Yeonjun murmurs in your ear, watching your interactions like a spectacle, “he doesn’t care about that girl— probably just trying to get you jealous.”

“Stop lying,” you say, but your voice is weak and your brain is susceptible to his words; you tell him to shut up, but the way you perk up with interest is saying otherwise.

“If I’m lying, then why is he giving you fuck me eyes?”

As if on queue, Taehyun glances back again— his gaze is dark and inviting, scanning you slowly before he turns back to the unknown girl— and his eyes soften; they’re less intense, aloof, clearly uninterested. The final piece of your resolve crumbles to pieces.

“I think I’m about to do something stupid,” you say sheepishly, eyes still glued on the man across the room; beside you, Yeonjun chuckles.

“Do it,” he says, giving your back an encouraging push, sending you stumbling forward, “I support it.”

You don’t bother looking back at your friend for one last word of reassurance— your feet have begun to take you before you could even stop and think.

You’re pushing through bodies; it’s crowded and hot and sweaty, cringing and jumping at the feeling of hands brushing against your bare skin— whether it be intentional or not, you try not to dwell on it, honed in on your goal instead.

It takes a moment for you to finally find yourself on the other side of the crowd— but you’ve lost Taehyun, eyes darting back to where he was just a second ago, frowning and scanning the area for the familiar man— he’s nowhere to be found.

You’ve begun to wander around— exploring the layout carefully, eventually abandoning the living room and making your way into the kitchen instead— and like before, you’re unable to find Taehyun, growing increasingly frustrated the longer it takes to find him; it isn’t until you’re making your way to the back porch that you finally spot a familiar, broad frame leaning against the railing.

“Taehyun,” you call out, the said man not flinching at the sound of his name; his back remains turned to you, but he listens to the sound of your nearing footsteps and your jingling jewelry, the scent of your perfume following soon after; you’re standing behind him, hands undoubtedly on your hips and a pout on your face as you speak. “What are you doing here?”

He huffs out a soft chuckle— his relaxed, slouched posture only serves to annoy you, going to stand next to him so you can get a good look at his face— you try to hide the shock that’s blooming on your face, but then again, you’ve never been good at hiding your emotions.

Taehyun cracks a small, lopsided smile; your eyes are wide and you seem like a deer caught in headlights, watching with fascination as Taehyun continues his attempts to light up the joint caught in his lips— your mouth is falling open to say something, but you’re closing it immediately after; this proceeds to repeat for a few seconds more, only able to find your words once you’ve watched Taehyun take a relaxed, languid hit.

“You… you smoke?” you ask softly, unsure of what else to say as you stand staring at Taehyun dumbly— he raises a brow in amusement, pulling the joint away from his lips and turning to blow the smoke out into the night— it’s a slow, deep sigh, and you’re left in awe as you watch the smoke fall from his parted lips and disappear into the air; his eyes fall back on you, and you gulp.

“Yeah?” he says casually, turning so that he’s leaning his side against the railing, tilting his head and drinking up your every reaction eagerly. “What about it?”

Now that you’re before him, you’re finally able to get a proper look at Taehyun— a good look, unable to stop your eyes from wandering; he’s wearing that usual baggy tee and cargo pants combo that he’s so fond of, but even so, everything just feels so different; his undercut is styled cleanly, his nimble fingers glint with the aid of silver rings, a chain hanging from his neck to match— his tan skin glows under the single light placed on the porch and fuck, has he always smelled this good?

“Nothing, it’s just—” you stop yourself, biting your lip and thinking carefully over what to say; Taehyun quirks up a brow curiously, bringing his hand back up to his lips, taking another slow drag from the joint, watching the end light up before he pulls away— and you huff, hands gesturing hopelessly as you find yourself unable to properly articulate your thoughts, not when he’s staring at you so intensely, “Where did all… this, come from?”

Taehyun doesn’t answer; he simply stares at you with amused eyes. So, you continue.

“You’re always judging me for going to parties, now you’re here? And—” you stammer, pointing at the joint between his fingers in confusion, “I’ve always asked if you wanted to smoke together, and you always said no.”

Gently, your voice trails off— and suddenly, any confidence you had when you initially approached Taehyun is wilting, your gaze averting as you begin to recount his behavior, his words, everything.

“Do you hate me or something?”

Your words are accusatory and petulant; the question is meant to be lighthearted, but Taehyun can tell there is some genuineness to it.

It’s silent; you’re tense. Your gaze remains glued to some distant irrelevant point, finding yourself too nervous to look up at Taehyun’s reaction to your sudden outburst— but nothing happens. Seconds feel like hours, and after what feels like eternity, a hand is gently reaching to tilt your chin up; your gaze meets Taehyun’s, and he smiles— his other hand slowly comes up your face, the joint centimeters away from your lips.

“Wanna hit?”

His evasion to your question is not lost on you. Bitterly, you chuckle, reaching up to take the joint from him— but he’s pulling it away from you before you can grab it, tutting softly and placing it back at your lips; you reach for it again, but this time, Taehyun grabs your wrist to stop you. He taps the joint against your lips and raises his brows expectantly— what he’s asking of you finally clicks in your mind; your lips part, and he holds the joint for you as you inhale.

Taehyun watches you with dark, intent eyes— as though analyzing every move you make, from the way you lean your head forward to the way your eyes flicker up nervously to look up at him— your face is oddly innocent and shy, feeling a lot smaller under the man’s gaze as you finally pull away; you’re exhaling slowly, your mouth slightly bitter from the taste as your swallow nervously.

“So? Are you just gonna ignore all my questions?” you ask softly, suddenly feeling a lot weaker as you lean on the railing, crossing your arms and watching Taehyun bring the joint back to his lips— the edges of his mouth quirk up at the sticky feeling of your lip gloss that lingers on it.

“Well… first of all… I’ve been like this, you just met me during the time I decided to back off and change my ways,” Taehyun jokes, the joint still caught between his lips as he speaks, hanging precariously, “and second of all, I definitely don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” you ask hopefully, doe eyes lighting up and your hand subconsciously reaching out to ask for the joint; he chuckles and hands it to you, shaking his head and watching you take a long hit with a raised brow.

“No. You’re just annoying,” he mutters, watching the way you bristle with annoyance, “what? It’s true. You drive me crazy, always forcing me to take care of your reckless ass.”

“Seriously? I literally don’t do anything to you— you’re the one who always decides to get involved,” you sneer, your snarky attitude finally back as you glare at an unfazed Taehyun; your eyes run over his appearance once more, unable to control your childish mouth as you continue, “even now— you come here out of nowhere and suddenly you’re all badass.”

“Are you trying to prove me wrong? You gonna go find some girl to bring back to the apartment?” you pout at him, taking one last hit from the joint and smiling wickedly, “I wouldn’t mind if you did, there won’t be anyone else home anyway— I have the same plans as you tonight, remember?”

Your back is suddenly pressed against the railing; Taehyun is close, he’s pressing against you, caging you in and looking down at you with a gaze that makes you feel small— your skin warms and your eyes widen, unsure of what else to do but stand there and take the way he smiles meanly at you.

“Yeah? Where is Jake, anyway?” he asks, taking the joint from your hands and placing it between his own lips, hand steadying himself against the railing as the other suddenly lands on your bare thigh, just below your ass; you jolt at the feeling, his eyes flickering down at your outfit, at the tiny pieces that barely leave any room to the imagination; his skin is warm but his rings are cool against you, fingertips barely digging into the flesh, “or wait— is it not your turn yet?”

Your body flushes with an unexpected heat; his voice is downright degrading, his eyes filled with pity, telling you things that his mouth doesn’t have to— look at you, all dressed up for a man who hasn’t even looked your way tonight.

He looks at you as though you were nothing short of pathetic; it makes your knees feel weak and your stomach flip with an unexpected need.

“Jake isn’t worth my time,” you confess, watching as Taehyun raises his brows as though to say oh really? “I can easily find someone better than him.”

“You could,” he muses, voice mocking and coy, taking another small hit before he speaks, “but who?”

“I— I’m sure there are plenty of other guys here right now,” you breath out, heart thundering in your chest; Taehyun’s face is close, so close, your bodies slowly beginning to get firmly pressed together— your brain is starting to feel foggy, your limbs suddenly much heavier and tingly; your eyes feel heavy and you’re beginning to list off names absentmindedly, all of men who you spotted in the party, all with a reputation as equally notorious as Jake’s.

“Heesung’s in there… and Sunghoon… and…” Taehyun is giving a big nod to every name you list; he’s patronizing you, staring at you with deceivingly big puppy eyes as he hums a soft mmhmm, and who else? His eyes never leaving yours as you both try to pretend that you don’t notice his lips inching closer to yours, the way every exhale of smoke from him goes directly into your parted lips, your voice breathy and weak as you hold back a whimper that threatens to slip through, “And… fuck, and Beomgyu’s in there too… he wanted to come to the party together, y’know. Said we should go to his place after.”

“Hmm, you’ve got quite a few options lined up,” Taehyun hums, his voice sweet and light to your ears, a shuddered sigh leaving you as his hand squeezes your skin teasingly, caressing it softly and wandering up and down, up and down; he tilts his head, low lidded eyes glued to your lips as he murmurs the last part so softly you almost missed it, “but would any of them be able to fuck you right?”

Your mind reels; your chest is heaving with shallow breaths, the two of you stuck in a state of limbo as you feel yourself get lost in the feeling of him, unaware of the way your eyes have begun to gloss over, your hand reaching out to steady yourself on his bicep— your fingers wrap around the thick muscle, and his hand slides up your leg, bold and strong as he squeezes your ass— a soft whine slips out.

“Well?” he asks again, unable to hold back a lethargic, fond smile at the way your other hand reaches up for the joint that’s still between his lips, putting it between your own, pretty glossed lips begging to be devoured— after a second, you shake your head softly, turning your head to the side and sighing slowly; with your eyes averted, you finally decide to bite the bullet.

“No,” you say softly, “don’t want any of them anyway.”

“Then who do you want?” he asks oh so softly, leaning in to place a soft kiss at your jaw; goosebumps erupt all over your skin, and you shudder at the way he hums softly in question, persisting after seeing you get hesitant to respond— after what feels like forever, you turn to look at him; his low lidded eyes, his plump lips— and your nails dig into his bicep subconsciously.

“You.”

There’s no chance for you to take back your words; Taehyun’s lips are rough and desperate against yours, all teeth and tongue as he groans at the feeling of your sticky gloss transferring onto him, your soft whines only aiding him to press himself more against you, to really cage you in and keep you right where he wants you. He’s biting your lip teasingly, sneaking his tongue in and toying with you, feeling him smile lazily against your mouth, wandering hand continuing to caress your skin, fingertips venturing under the hem of your tight denim skirt.

After a while, it becomes too much— your body feels hot, your hand is gripping onto him tightly, as though he could escape if you let him go— your lungs burn and you’re barely able to keep up with him anymore, but Taehyun doesn’t seem to mind; you’re whining and crying softly at the way he continues to squeeze your ass teasingly, jolting at the way he suddenly slaps it— your fingers jump up to tangle themselves into his roots, tugging roughly at them in hopes of getting him to part from you; he seems to understand what you want, but he continues to ravish you for a few seconds more before he finally pulls away.

In Taehyun’s eyes, this is the best you’ve looked all night; out of breath and flushed, pressed between the railing and his body, his cock already half-hard as he wills himself to not rut against your soft exposed skin like an animal— his hand leaves the railing to grab onto your waist, the other reaching for the joint that is still in your weak hold— he inspects the half-smoked, almost extinguished item before he looks back at you; a small, mischievous grin spreads on his lips, and he slips a thigh between your legs.

“Taehyun…!” you gasp, bouncing up as Taehyun presses the firm muscle against your poor dripping pussy; your panties stick to your cunt and quickly create a wet patch on Taehyun’s jeans, and he can already feel the warmth of you through the denim— your thighs close around his own shakily, your free hand grabbing onto his shoulder for support; the glassy, wide eyed look you give him is almost enough to make Taehyun lose it and fuck you then and there.

“Hmm? What’s up,” Taehyun asks apathetically, fishing in his pocket for his lighter, letting go of your waist to relight the joint with a dark, concentrated gaze; his thigh continues to move against you, flexing and bouncing against your cunt, and all you can do is cry softly and plead for him to stop teasing— his lips quirk up into a mean smile, and his eyes flicker back up to your hazy, fucked out face, tucking the lighter back in his pocket and tilting his head curiously at you.

“What do you want, baby?” he asks softly, bringing the joint to his lips and taking a long, slow hit, his eyes never leaving yours as he does.

“Please… please stop teasing,” you whine, and judging by the way Taehyun raises a brow at that, it’s not enough; his thigh has stopped moving, so you resort to grinding pitifully against it, eyes shining with a desperation that intrigues him, “not enough… need more.”

He huffs; his hand comes up to grab your jaw, fingers digging into your cheeks and forcing you to open— you follow his command without a second thought, the last thing you see as your eyes flutter shut being Taehyun leaning in, his own mouth an inch away from yours as he exhales the smoke directly into your mouth.

“Oh yeah? Want it?” he murmurs, feeling you nod in his hold, “tell me then. Tell me how you want it.”

“I— I…” words seem to have escaped you; it’s hard to find the confidence to tell him what you want, the world around you a blurry and lethargic mess, your senses heightened to only feel Taehyun, his skin on yours, his rings that dig into your cheek, his warm thigh that you grind against— peeking through your low lidded eyes, you watch him shake his head disappointedly, taking another hit and proceeding to blow out the smoke into your awaiting mouth once more.

“C’mon baby, use your words. I know you can,” he insists patiently, clicking his tongue and scolding you as you proceed to blank out once more; his fingertips dig into your cheeks roughly, blunt nails threatening to leave indents as he forces you to look at him.

“Want it rough? Want it hard?” he spits out, listening to your whiny mmhmm, mmhmm! with narrowed eyes, and he laughs— it’s mean and condescending, just like his next words, “fucking slut, ‘course you do.”

He’s capturing your lips in another harsh kiss before you can protest; the joint in his hand is snuffed out on the fence and tucked away, his hands falling onto your hips as he begins to press you firmly against him, guiding your pace entirely and forcing you to ride his thigh; you whine and you moan against his lips, fingers tugging at his hair as you grind your soaked cunt against his jeans— when Taehyun pulls away, your lips chase his without a second thought, hands tightening your hold against him in fear that he’ll leave.

“You want it?” he asks once more, bouncing his thigh against your messy cunt, grinning at the way you yelp, “Tell me baby, go on, say it; tell me you want it.”

He won’t let you go quite easily this time. Sharp, intense eyes prying the words out of you, brows furrowing together at the weak, quiet attempts that come from you, fingers leaving a bruising grip on you as he silently commands for more.

“Taehyun, c’mon…” you pout, an embarrassed heat rising up your face, not used to seeing this side of him— you didn’t even know it existed, to be fair, “I want it, please, stop being a tease.”

Taehyun has you regretting your words in the blink of an eye; hand pressing the small of your back, forcing you to arch and proceeding to land a harsh smack on your ass that has you gasping, the skin stinging from the feeling of the rough metal of his rings landing on it— but his hand doesn’t fail to caress the place soothingly, a total contrast to the ruthless glare he gives you.

“A tease?” he sneers, landing another, gentler smack, as though the words are enough to get him angry all over again.

“You mean like when you were showing off this cute little skirt to me? Hmmm? Bending down and showing me your panties? Or when you were talking about getting fucked by my friends?” he can feel you tremble against his hold, your mouth opening to retaliate— but you’re not quick enough, Taehyun’s smart mouth running faster than yours, “Or how ‘bout when you force me to watch you run off to parties and bring a man over to your room, just to have me take care of you in the mornings? Is that what you mean by a tease?”

You shake your head, scrambling to come up with a response; Taehyun seems to have gotten quite fed up with you, because his hand is coming up to wrap around your neck, adding a subtle pressure that leaves you light headed and mushy.

“What, can’t talk now? What happened to that mouthy girl I had here earlier?” Taehyun says, his voice mean and dripping with venom, “tell me you want it, or I’ll leave you here— you said you had some other toys to fuck with inside, right? I’m sure they could help give you what you want.”

“No, no, please, I want it, need it,” you cry, attempting to chase any pleasure and grind your cunt against him; you’re quickly stopped by his firm, bruising hand, “Taehyun, Taehyun, please, please fuck me, I want you, please?”

“I don’t know,” he mutters lowly, eyes glued to the way your hips buck and cant, trying desperately to break free from his hold that prevents you from moving, “think you deserve it?”

“Yes,” you immediately sigh, body restless and hot and overwhelmingly needy, feeling as though you’ve gotten tunnel vision for the man before you; your hand slips from his shoulder and down his chest, finding the hardened bulge that has been pressing against your body with ease— his jaw clenches, and his face remains stoic— but that doesn’t mean you don’t notice the way his lips part or his hips press against your palm reassuringly, “yes– give it to me, want it, only wanted you from the start.”

“Fuck,” he breathes out, heavy eyes locked onto the way you look up at him so prettily, your hand palming and rubbing at his clothed cock only serving to cloud his thoughts further, “C’mon.”

He’s stealing one last slow, messy kiss from you before he pulls away; fingers intertwined with yours, stepping back and proceeding to tug you along— you stumble at the sudden action, your airy self giggling softly at the way you tumble into Taehyun’s broad back; he sends you a fond smile, squeezing your hand reassuringly before he’s opening the door to the house and leading you back inside.

It feels as though the whole environment of the party has changed; the neon lights, blasting music and humid air is a little more welcomed than it was before, unable to contain the dopey smile that grows on your face as you allow Taehyun to lead you wherever; you trust him.

“Wherever” leads you to a bedroom upstairs— Taehyun is slamming the door shut and grabbing your waist, spinning you around and pinning you against the wall before you can even react; his face is inches from yours as he mutters a safeword for the two of you, waiting for you to nod and repeat it back before his lips are back on yours— but this time, he seems to want to take his time with you; plump, swollen lips beginning to trail along your jaw, wandering until he’s peppering kisses along your neck, teasing mouth nipping and sucking at your jaw until you’re holding onto his shoulders and begging for more.

Slowly, he begins to walk the two of you backwards; lips never leaving yours, hands caressing your skin and toying with the hem of your shirt as he sits down on the bed, making you stand between his legs— pulling away, you put your hands on Taehyun’s firm shoulders, sighing shakily at the way he looks at you; as though he were holding back from devouring you entirely, a fondness that makes you weak in the knees undeniably there in his pupils.

“Fuck, pretty girl, pretty body,” he breathes, leaning forward to pepper kisses wherever he can— pushing your shirt up to expose your chest, burying his head in your tits and placing open mouthed kisses, biting teasingly at the flesh, chuckling at the feeling of you jolting and jutting your chest out, your body much more reactive and sensitive— and he trails down slowly, down the valley of your breasts, down your stomach, lingering there for a bit as he kisses and sucks marks into the vast canvas; his hands trail up and down your sides, pulling you in every time you try to squirm away.

“What, you getting shy on me now?” he tuts, nipping at your side and listening to the squeal that escapes you— his hands tighten and he’s forcing you forward, leaning back until he’s laying down and you’re straddling him precariously; your knees dig into the mattress and you’re trying your best to remain stable, but Taehyun doesn’t seem to be satisfied yet— you frown in confusion at the feeling of him trying to tug your hips up more, resisting the motion with a tilt of your head; Taehyun pouts.

“Don’t be like that,” he groans, hands shifting from your hips to the back of your thighs, one cupping your ass and the other falling just below— and you yelp, Taehyun’s muscles flexing as he moves you up forcefully, much too strong for you to retaliate; you’re tumbling down, face burning and planting into the mattress as Taehyun shifts below you— your dripping cunt hovering just above his face, skirt riding up and bunching at your hips, any whines of protests falling on deaf ears as he begins to press soft kisses on your inner thighs.

“T–Taehyun, wait, you don’t—” you stutter through moans, fingers gripping onto the sheets below you as you feel him beginning to trail up, your body revealing just how much you don’t mean your words, “you don’t have to— mmh–!”

His hands are coming up to your middle, pulling and signaling for you to sit up; you do, partly from your own efforts but mostly from his, easily moving you as though you were nothing but a doll— and your cunt is hovering over his face, hungry eyes flickering up to meet yours— he sees the hesitation on your face, the way you’re beginning to ramble once more, and he scoffs; the smack that lands on the back of your thigh is enough to get you to stop mid sentence.

“Just shut up and let me taste you,” he says sternly; his fingers dig into your hips and he’s tugging you down, sneering at the way you continue to hesitate, only allowing yourself to hover over him— he bites at your inner thigh in retaliation, the sensitive feeling bringing out a cry from you, hips bucking and thighs squeezing around his head for a second, “C’mon baby, sit on my face— I can take it, you know I can.”

The hesitant hum you let out is enough for him; he rolls his eyes, and with a strength you forgot he possessed, he forces you to plant your cunt directly onto him.

It feels like a switch has flipped within him. Fuck, you think, your lips parted in a silent scream, a hand scrambling to tangle itself in his hair, fuck!

He hasn’t even bothered to move your panties to the side; he’s eating you out through them, tongue pushing into your hole and lips kissing and sucking at your clit like a man starved, groaning and praising you with a muffled voice; his fingers dig into your ass, making sure to keep you planted firmly on his face as he eats you out.

You think you’re losing your fucking mind.

Just when you thought it was too much, that your body felt like it was buzzing with electricity, filled with a euphoria and pleasure that had you mewling and crying desperately, Taehyun’s nimble fingers finally push the ruined cloth that covers your pussy to the side— and oh, oh, your eyes are rolling back and your mouth is stuck open, Taehyun’s hot tongue lapping and fucking into your hole and his nose pressing firmly into your clit— he’s panting and sighing against your cunt, slurping up any arousal that leaks from your poor hole— his head shakes from side to side, humming into your pussy, and the last bit of resolve within you shatters.

“Taehyun— oh my god, Taehyun—!” you cry, hips grinding down into him, thighs closing around his head; you can feel him fucking smiling lazily into your pussy, rough hand slapping your ass and guiding your movements against him, as though to silently reassure you and ask for more. “Please— oh god, oh— fuckfuckfuck, m’close, I’m close, hnng—!”

Your words are nothing but fuel to the man beneath you— his tongue is flattening against your hole, licking up and flicking at your clit before he begins to suck on it; two fingers prod at your clenching entrance, proceeding to push in without warning, curling expertly and finding your sweet spot with ease; your body shivers and you wail, muscles growing weak as you fall forward once more— burying your head in your arms as you cry about how close you are, the new position only allowing Taehyun to move your hips firmly against him, rocking you back into him; his fingers pull out of your cunt in favor of shoving his tongue back in instead, following every buck and twitch of your hips with ease— his nails dig into your skin as he holds you still, eliciting a dull feeling of pain, and everything falls apart.

Too much, too much! you think— maybe you say it out loud, your mouth open and gasping as you grip onto the bed sheets, feeling as Taehyun continues his same, intense ministrations; letting you ride out your orgasm but not stopping, even after you’ve begun to sniffle and cry about how sensitive you feel— after a while, Taehyun finally gives in, pulling away from your cunt to lick you clean, pressing firm, sloppy kisses against your hole and puffy clit, smiling at the way you twitch with each one.

You feel as though your bones have all melted; you can’t move, face burrowed into the mattress and chest heaving as you try to catch your breath— beneath you, Taehyun moves, slipping out from under you and hovering behind, hungry eyes taking in the sight before him eagerly; ass up and back arched, glistening hole on display as you continue to shudder and breathe shakily— you hear the sound of clothes rustling behind you, followed by the feeling of the bed dipping— Taehyun’s hand rubs at your ass fondly, and you jump at the sudden sensation, eyes screwing shut and a quiet whine leaving you.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Taehyun sighs, biting at his lip and stroking your skin, up your back and to your shoulders, leaning over and kissing gently at the nape of your neck as he whispers, “think you can take more?”

“Yes– yeah, please,” you beg quietly, unable to feel an ounce of shame from how immediate your response is; you can feel his cock rubbing against your ass, the stickiness of his tip that ruts against you subtly— you look over your shoulder with a hazy eyes and a soft, blissful smile, meeting Taehyun’s equally fucked out gaze as you push your hips back, “wanna feel you inside— I’m on the pill.”

The sharp breath of air Taehyun sucks in isn’t lost on you— his cock jumps from the way you grind against him, no longer able to keep up that cold and uninterested facade he’s kept up since the moment you two met up for the first time— he wants you, bad. And to his delight, you seem to feel the same.

“Jesus, you drive me so fucking crazy,” Taehyun breathes, the soft giggle you let out not helping him remain calm; he sits back, a hand grabbing at your waist and the other wrapping around his length— he’s squeezing the base, pumping at it slowly, the gruff sighs and moans you hear behind you enough to have you clenching around nothing— just when you think you’ll have to beg again, you feel his thick tip begin to prod at your entrance.

You think you could cum from the feeling of him stretching you out alone— a broken moan leaves you at the feeling of him entering inside you, so thick and big that you think he might just break you; your head drops back into the mattress and your hips are pulled back against Taehyun’s, soft cries leaving you at the feeling of him bottomed out inside you.

“P-perfect, so… damn perfect,” Taehyun rasps out, head falling back and eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of you clenching around him— you’re so tight and sensitive, walls fluttering around him and sucking him in, tempting him to lose control and pound you straight into the mattress; he has to take a deep breath and concentrate on not cumming then and there, because the way you’re beginning to whine for more like a cockhungry bitch is really getting to him, “shit– stop— ugh– stop squeezing me like that princess, won’t fucking last long if you do.”

You can only whine in protest at that; it’s so hard to remain still, your hazy mind already fucked out beyond belief from your first orgasm— but even so, you still want more, you crave it, you need it; you make sure that Taehyun is aware of it, too, whiny and breathy as you cry and cry for him to fuck you.

“Tyun, come on,” you pout, impatiently moving your hips back, in search of any stimulation you can get, “please, wanna get fucked already, want it hard, don’t tell me that was all talk earlier.”

If there’s one thing you’ve figured out about Taehyun, it’s that he hates when you try to act up on him— because as he tightens his fingers into your plush skin and slowly begins to pull his hips out, you realize quickly that he’s most definitely not all talk.

“Ah—!”

Your body is being driven forward with each thrust— Taehyun is fucking you hard, muttering angry words that you can’t even pick up over the sound of your own moans; his cock is thick and his hips are angled so his head bumps against your sensitive spot with each thrust, harsh pace not allowing you any reprieve as you simply fall limp, unable to move your hips back in tandem with his pace; if anything, Taehyun is doing it for you, rough hands bringing you back against him like it’s nothing.

“Fucking slut— got such a dirty mouth, should make sure you to fuck you good so you can’t talk back to me,” he growls, feeling you clench like a vice around him, even more when he stops thrusting in favor of pulling you back like a doll for him to use, “Oh, you’d like that huh? Like it when I use you like a toy? Stupid pussy’s nothing more than a fucking cumdump for me— yeah, c’mon, move your hips, thaat’s it, just like that.”

His mouth continues to spew filth, a stark contrast to how Taehyun usually is— he’s always been quieter during sex, but the sight of you trembling and struggling to take his cock is enough for his mouth to run faster than his mind— that, and the aid of his high that seems to have gotten rid of any self-control he usually exhibits.

Your movements have become sluggish and weak— you’re getting tired, he can tell, so with one last slap to your ass that has you yelping, he finally decides to take control again.

“God, can’t even fuck me for more than a few minutes? Where’d that cocky girl from before go, hmm?” He asks, voice patronizing as he begins his harsh thrusts— only pulling out halfway before he’s sinking in all the way, hips slapping against your ass creating a lewd sound; your cunt only tightens and gushes around him, hiccupped moans leaving you as he picks up his pace, watching as your arms give out beneath you and your face gets planted into the mattress; he huffs out a laugh, and reaches out to grab a fistful of your hair— yanking your head back, you yelp, left to his mercy as he begins to pound into your ruthlessly.

“Taehyun, wait– slow down…!” you cry, scratching at the bed sheets and feeling tears prick at your eyes— and he does, for a second, waiting for you to say something else, for the safeword you both agreed on— but you don’t, and the laugh he lets out after catching on is enough to have your face burning with humiliation— and his pace picks back up— no, he’s meaner than before, degrading you below his breath and pulling at your hair, pulling you back against him, a hand sneaking down to place sloppy circles at your clit— you’re keening and clenching like a vice around him, a sharp hiss leaving him at the feeling.

“Mmmh, too… too much,” you manage to say softly, immediately given another harsh tug at your hair in response, your eyes watering at the feeling.

“Too much?” Taehyun repeats, and you can practically hear the pout on his lips from the patronizing tone, “thought you wanted it hard? Don’t tell me it was all talk.”

He’s spitting your exact words back at you, watching with amusement as you try weakly to prove him wrong.

“That’s right. You’ll take it like a good girl should,” he grunts, slowing his pace down and punctuating his words with rough, deep thrusts, “Fucking. Take it. All.”

You’re close, he can feel it, he can hear it— and the thought of watching your pretty face screw up into pleasure and bliss is enough to send Taehyun’s mind reeling, not hesitating to pull out and let go of your body— his lips quirk up with satisfaction at the way you’re immediately falling limp, fucked out face peeking behind in confusion, about to complain about why he stopped when he begins to move you.

It feels dizzying, the way he’s able to manipulate you and force you into any position he likes; you’re sure Taehyun can read it all over your face, because he smiles meanly at you, patting your cheek fondly before he begins to busy himself with your clothes.

“Don’t think I never noticed you staring, pretty,” he grins, tugging your skirt and panties down swiftly, eying the soiled underwear before he throws it off to the side, landing directly on his discarded pile of clothes— and he sends you another sleazy smile that has you bringing your knees up and closing your legs shyly— it’s all futile though, because he’s immediately kneeling before you and spreading your thighs open with his warm, large hands, holding onto the underside of your knees as he scoots closer to you, “always getting so touchy with me, grabbing onto my arms and thighs— dumb little thing, bet you thought you were getting away with it each time, hmm?”

“Shut up,” you whine, resisting the urge to cover your face and hide away— but you really can’t, especially with the way his thick cock ruts against your pussy, tip sliding up and down your slit as he teases you by putting it in, only to pull back out again, “Taehyun…”

“C’mon, grab onto me,” he muses, slipping the tip in once more before he begins to slide in slowly, watching your mouth fall open and your eyes grow glassy, “wanna watch you cum on my cock.”

This new position practically has you seeing stars— Taehyun hovers over you and watches intently, chain hanging over your face as he presses your thighs against your body, fucking you straight into the mattress; you tremble and you gasp, a fire festering in your stomach as you beg for more— “m-more, please, faster, harder, s-shit—!”

Taehyun listens to your every request intently— his stamina is impressive and ruthless, and his cock is reaching and hitting places you never knew were there— your back arches and your hands scramble to grab onto something to stabilize yourself, inevitably falling onto Taehyun’s body in the end; one on his shoulder, the other on his bicep that flexes from the effort of keeping your squirming body still.

“So… fucking… pretty,” Taehyun groans, watching your chest heave and your eyes blink away tears, leaning down to suck and bite at your breast, frowning at the bra that still covers them— throwing a leg over his shoulder, Taehyun pulls your bra up roughly, hips continuing to pound against yours as he latches his mouth onto your pretty nipples— you gasp, nails digging into his skin as you begin to cry to him, good, s-so good, fuck!

“Shit, I’m close,” he says after a moment, pulling off your breasts with a lewd pop! That has your eyes rolling back; he moves up to press a sloppy kiss to your lips, murmuring your name sweetly and waiting for you to respond. “I’m close baby, so– so fucking close– where— hah, where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you immediately mewl, hearing him groan unabashedly in response, “Please, pleasepleaseplease, inside, inside—! Fill me, want your cum, wanna be full—!”

“Okay baby, okay,” he says sweetly, kissing at your neck and wandering up to your ear, “gonna fill you up good, just like you want.”

“Oh, are you close too?” he asks, and you nod furiously, watching as he goes back to hover over you, watching every change in your expression intently, “I can feel it, pretty cunt’s squeezing me so good– c’mon, cum for me baby, wanna see it, wanna watch your pretty face, will you let me? Yeah, only for me to see— gonna cum, fuck, make you mine, you’re mine only, okay?”

His words are enough to send you over the edge; you let out a long whine and scratch at his skin, crying out his name desperately as your nails rake down his back, down his arm; he hisses at the feeling, the pain enough to set him off and join you right after; his hips stutter and his face screws up from the pleasure, brows knitting together and teeth gritting together as he lets out soft moans— but his eyes never leave yours, deft fingers circling your clit as he lets you ride out your orgasm— your legs tremble under his hold, eyes rolling back and face smoothing out from the pure euphoria you feel.

“Yours… just yours,” you sigh out, feeling his hips finally still, thick cum beginning to leak out from you, falling onto the sheets and ruining them completely; you pant and try to regain composure, but it’s really, really hard— you feel like you’re on cloud nine, words tumbling past your lips before you can second guess them, “y’have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.”

“Really?” he asks; the panic you feel in your chest is short-lived, because as soon as you see the soft look in Taehyun’s eyes, you melt.

“Yeah…” you say softly, suddenly a lot more shy under his gaze, “this was like. Attempt number one hundred of me trying to get over you. Or make you jealous.”

“Hmm… well, you don’t have to do that anymore. I’m all yours,” he mumbles, swooping in to steal a slow kiss from you; you can’t control the giddy laugh that leaves you at that, lazy hands tangling into his hair to keep him close.

“Good,” you murmur against his lips, “I was running out of guys to use against you.”

His hand squeezes at your hip in warning— you smile coyly.

“Joking, of course.”

Nipping at your lip, Taehyun sends you a half-hearted glare.

“You better be.”

You give him a giddy nod; after tonight, it wasn’t like anyone would be able to compare to him, anyway. Shifting underneath him, you wince at the feeling of your sweaty body rubbing against the sheets— Taehyun is able to read your face before you can get anything out.

“Wanna go home?” he asks softly.

“Please,” you say, giving him a shy smile that has his heart flipping pathetically, “will you carry me?”

He laughs, placing a chaste kiss on your lips and sneaking his arms under your figure.

“Always.”

#txt fanfic #txt fanfiction #txt imagines #txt oneshots #txt ff #txt x reader #txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #taehyun smut #taehyun ff #taehyun imagines #taehyun oneshot #taehyun x reader #taehyun fanfic #taehyun fanfiction

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cuteandhughesy · 6 months ago

Text

Ceilings | Luke Hughes (part 1/2)

summary: you are a bet for luke and his friends, but that doesn't stop you two from actually falling in love, luke just prays you never find out the truth

21.4K (total)

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you wouldn't say you were friends with any player on the university of Michigan hockey team. in fact, you tried to avoid any and all of the boys at any cost. your best friend, ariana, is dating mark estapa, a forward on the wolverines. therefore, it wasn't uncommon for him or a couple of his friends to greet you in passing in school hallways, or make small talk with you at parties.

you're sure it was on your face anytime any of those boys tried to talk with you: you weren't interested. you didn't want to hook up with them, you didn't want to be best friends with them and you sure as hell didn't want to date any of them. hockey players aren't your type.

as long as you've been attending your program at the university of michigan, you've had a crush on matthew johnson. he sat two rows in front of you in your first class, and played on the schools basketball team. he was smart, and kind and so unbelievably good looking, you are positive he is your soulmate (even though you've never really talked to him.)

so yeah, you'd go to these hockey parties and entertain their small talk because matthew was always at the parties, and any chance to get closer to him, you'd take.

part one: the bet

luke watched rutger shiver as he swallowed his shot of tequila, no doubt the warm liquor burning his throat as he drank it. rutger cringed, chugging the rest of his beer as a chaser. he took a moment to pause before smirking in victory, "I told you I could do it without throwing up."

ethan groaned, throwing his head back in defeat before taking a sip of his drink. in their freshman year, a couple seniors taught them how to the play Bet: the drinking game. a game were each player had to bet somebody else in the group something they think that they can't do, and if said person can prove them wrong, they have to take a sip. at first, the group of freshman thought it was boring, but now as sophomores they made it their mission to play at every party, recruiting as many people as possible.

"alright," rutger rubbed his calloused palms together, scanning the group to pick his next victim. his eyes passed luke's, but then immediately darted back, a smirk overtaking his face. "moosey..." he taunted and luke sighed.

"dude, it hasn't even been a full round since my last turn!" he protested and rutger shrugged.

"anyways!" he started, "it's no secret you have, for lack of a better phrase, trouble with ladies."

mark snickered beside him, and the sound of laughter left luke to elbow him.

rutger continued, "sure, a hookup or so here and there but nothing sticks. I really don't think you have it in you."

luke gave a quizzical look, "what are you saying? am I getting a bet here or are you going to keep babbling about hookups?"

rutger smirked, leaning forward in his elbows slightly, "I bet that you can't make a girl fall in love with you before playoffs start."

luke was taken back. "how am I supposed to accomplish that tonight? that doesn't follow the rules of the game."

"eh, i'll allow the extension for this one. but never mind a shot, lets put something good on it...unless, you don't think you can do it."

"I can," luke says immediately.

"okay," rutger laughs, "If you can make a girl fall in love with you before playoffs, I will....," he pauses with thought.

"how about you let us dye or cut your hair however we want?," ethan proposes.

"I like that," luke agrees. rutger was weird about his hair, so it was the perfect punishment.

"fine," he laughs, "but if you can't do it, you owe me $200."

"deal," luke agrees immediately, "this will be easy."

"not so fast," he said, "first of all, I can't just take your word for it, I need to see this girl truly in love with you, I don't care what you have to do -"

"you definitely gotta hit that though," ethan interrupts, "what if she sees your tiny dick and wants nothing to do with you."

"dude!" dylan duke laughs.

"i agree with ethan, you gotta tap it. oh! and most importantly," rutger says loudly, trying to overpower the sound of his teammates laughing, " I pick the girl."

and for the first time that night luke felt nervous. "seriously?"

"yeah," he said, "in fact..." rutger started scanning the party going on around them and after a minute or two passed, he smirks satisfied. luke felt his stomach twirl in worry. "I have the perfect girl."

ethan, dylan and mark all desperately scan the room, trying to pinpoint who their teammate could've possibly chosen for their tall friend.

rutger shrugged in luke's direction before he said, "...y/n. make y/n fall in love with you before playoffs and you win the bet."

"dude," mark sighs hesitantly, "she's ariana's best friend."

"I know," rutger says, "I also know she isn't particularly fond of us. one time I tried to hook up with her and I swear she almost bit my head off. she is sworn off of all hockey players."

"then why did you pick her?!," luke says, hand thrown in his direction.

"just makes it more interesting. do you think you can do it?" rutger is looking luke straight in the eyes, a raise to his one brow.

"yeah," luke says, "I can do it."

"you're on," he laughs, gesturing across the room were he spotted the girl in question. "go on then."

"what?" luke sputters.

"playoffs are only two and half months away, moose. you better get on it." he sips his drink nonchalantly, "I saw her walk out to the backyard a minute ago."

"okay," luke stands up, wiping his hand down his jeans. "i'll be back later." and before he knew it, he made his way to the backyard, in search of you.

the bonfire was roaring outside, and you could feel the heat on your exposed arms. you sip your drink from the red plastic cup, eyes trained through the smoke from the flames as you watch matthew joke with the basketball team. you sigh, head falling back to rest on the brick wall you were leaning against.

"you're insufferable," ariana laughs, "just go talk to him."

"I can't!" you protest immediately. "he's like...way out of my league."

"I thought he was your soulmate?"

"he is!" you say fast, "so that's why i'll wait until he comes to me. because that means it will be the right time."

ariana gives you a look of disbelief. "okay lover girl," she says. "but I can't be around your love sick eyes right now, I'm going to try and find mark." she says.

"okay," you say, eyes still trained on the bright blonde hair of the basketball player. she twirls a piece of your hair around her finger before you hear her walk away from you, greeting somebody on her way in. you don't register the voice of the recipient to ariana's hello until he's standing next to you.

"hey," luke says.

you glance up at him with furrowed brows. "hi?"

he nods to the fire, "so, who are you checking out over there?"

"what?!" you shout, gathering the attention of people around you. clearing your throat, you start again, repeating what in a much calmer tone. "I'm not checking out anyone."

"okay," he taunts you, hands held up in surrender.

"why are you talking to me?" you ask him harshly, your solo cup held against your chest. the barley cold drink has your erratic heart slowing slightly.

"am I not allowed to talk to you?" he questions with a raise to his brow.

you shake your head,"not when you're asking me...weird questions like that."

"can I not ask my friend questions?"

"oh so we're friends?" you laugh sarcastically, "do you even know my name? I don't even think we've spoke more than 10 words to each other -"

"y/n," he interrupts you, "of course I know your name. it's not like we are strangers." luke finishes with a smirk. he looks down at you with a smug expression, and your annoyance level raises: you kind of want to punch him.

"okay..." you say in suspicion. without much thought, your eyes dance back through the small crowd, landing in the direction of matthew. you clear your throat, "so, luke, what do you want?"

luke smirks at the use of his name, because obviously you were trying to prove a point in also knowing his name- you have to ignore that violent urge once again. "I want to know why you keep checking out matthew johnson - you're not his type."

you look back at luke quickly: shocked that he caught on to your secret crush and angry from him calling you out on it. both emotions are evident in your face as you splutter, wide eyes looking up at him. a moment passes, and you regain your train of thought, "okay...whose type am I then?"

"mine." he says it immediately and you have to blink three times to even register the words coming from his mouth. a beat later, you're laughing right in his face (or chest rather, because you're not that tall). "what's so funny?" he questions, an unpleasant pull to his eyebrows.

your laughter ceases, "did you seriously just say that? luke...cmon."

"i'm being serious," there's an undertone of annoyance in his words. "you're my type."

"okay, lukey," you taunt the nickname, taking a sip of your drink. "i'm flattered, i suppose - but I don't date hockey players."

"you don't date hockey players yet." luke corrects you.

"okay, seriously what do you want?" you drop your free hand to your side, cup still held to your chest. "you're being weird."

"I want to take you out."

"why?" you start, "and if you say i'm your type again i'll seriously pour the rest of my drink over your head."

he laughs, "you wouldn't be able to reach." you don't laugh at his teasing, so luke swallows thickly before continuing. "you seem cool. and you're pretty and mark says you're nice so..."

you squint your eyes quizzically at the tall boy in front of you. "okay..." and for the first time since you two starting talking, luke feels a tiny sliver of hope. he watches you as your eyes once again dart towards the fire- expect this time they're blown wide. luke looks over and is immediately met with the brown eyes of matthew johnson, who's made his way over to stand with you and luke.

"hey!" the blonde says. he pulls luke into a dap up and side hug, slapping a hand against his shoulder. "what's up hughesy."

"not much," luke hums, "how's the season going?" luke takes a step closer towards you without realizing his actions, bicep brushing against your shoulder.

"good, good! nothing like you guys though."

luke chuckles, shrugging. "we try." suddenly, luke felt a small elbow nudge into his side. he looks down at you, the culprit, but you're trying to be discreet, looking in your cup to avoid eye contact from either athlete.

he tries not to roll his eyes at your shyness, clearing his throat and looking back towards the basketball player, "hey, matt, do you know y/n?"

you finally look up and away from your drink. just as you do, you catch the brown eyes of matthew johnson - looking at you. your stomach drops.

"hey," matthew says, "how's it going?"

"hi, i'm - yeah i'm good." you try not to stutter too badly but your nerves get the best of you. you can feel luke wanting to laugh beside you, so you take a deep breath. "i'm great."

matthew nods once at you before turning his attention back to the 6"2 athlete on your right. "anyways man, I thought i'd say hey, i'll talk to you later."

"see ya," luke mutters. you watch matthew walk away from the two of you, that same dreamy look on your face that luke saw from before. he can't help but laugh.

"what's so funny?" you're the one asking the question now, that same annoyce luke had shown you earlier more present than ever.

luke laughs a few more times, and takes a deep breath, "that was the worst thing i've ever watched."

"what?!" you screech, hands falling at your sides. you're pretty sure some of your drinks splashes out of your cup and onto your shoes, but you don't care.

"I think there would be more chemistry between you and a rock than you and matt. just awful."

"what would you know about chemistry?" you retort.

"well you and I clearly have chemistry, that much I do know."

"you and I have no such thing," you gesture wildly between the two of you. "actually, i'm done for tonight. i'll see you later...friend."

luke panicked in that moment, because were you really that hard to crack - but then, it clicked. it was like a lightbulb went off in his mind, flickering before his eyes and waving in front of his face. on opportunity to save himself $200 bucks and show his friends he wasn't just some one night kinda guy.

you don't get too far past him when luke grabs onto your wrist, spinning you back around so you are facing him once more. it's too late to back out now, luke thinks. "I have an idea."

"luke, seriously, let it go." you sigh.

your words fall on deaf ears, "i'll help you." luke says quickly.

you send him a look with raised brows. "help me with..."

"getting matthew to fall in love with you."

you visibly swallow at his offer, your shoulders tensing and face glowing warm. your look of disbelief quickly turns in to one of weary. "why would you do that?"

"because we're friends."

you send him a look.

"i'll show you how to act, how to get his attention, i'll tell you his likes and dislikes, and he will fall for you. you just need some help."

for some odd reason, you find yourself believing luke. you believed his odd plan could work with the right amount of time - but that didn't stop you from feeling hesitant. "okay but...why? what's in it for you?"

"nothing really...just your time and friendship."

you sent him one more look before faltering, "okay...fine." the opportunity to get closer to your crush was not one you wanted to pass up. obviously, luke was close to matt is some capacity, meaning he could actually be of help.

luke smirks. "no more embarrassing yourself." he says and you furrow your brows in confusion.

"I didn't embarrass myself."

"you didn't find that conversation embarrassing in the slightest?" luke asks loudly, disbelief clear in his tone.

your face drops and you give him another deadly look.

"okay, okay, don't kill me," luke mumbles. "let's meet up sometime tomorrow and we can discuss a game plan,"

you nod, "okay, what time?"

"I have practice at 10, and a game at 7. so any time between that," luke tells you.

"my break tomorrow is at 2, if you want we can meet then? I work at the coffee house on campus."

"i know where you work, y/n." he teases. "i'll see you then." he puts his hand out and unbelievably, you shake it.

luke just found his loophole.

part two: the beginning

the coffee house was busy, which wasn't uncommon for a friday afternoon, but this one was just that much more intense, your 45 minute break was supposed to start 10 minutes ago.

"y/n, after this next drink you can go sit down. take a well deserved break," your manager says quickly behind you, hands busy filling another pot with coffee.

"okay," you say, topping off the takeout cup of coffee with the correct amount of creamer before making your way to the pick up counter. "for luke!" you call out. you don't register the name on the drink until luke appears in front of you.

"hey," he says. you notice that luke looks kinda tired and there's a fresh purple bruise on his cheekbone, most likely from the practice he just came from.

"hi," you say breathlessly. luke takes the drink from you and you exit from behind the counter. "sorry, i'm late. it's been really busy." you two find a table near the windows at the back of the cafe and sit down across from one another.

"I can see that," he says, looking around the bustling cafe as he takes his first sip. "good job," he gestures his drink in your direction and you just send him a tight lipped smile.

"so..." you start, "what's first?"

luke nods, as if suddenly remembering why he's here in the first place. "okay, first step and arguably the most important, is to make matthew think you're unavailable...but not uninterested."

your bottom lip is pulled between your teeth and you knaw on it with question. "okay, how do I do that?"

"we have to date." luke says, taking another sip of his hot brew. at first, you think maybe you misheard him, but the sheepish glances he's sending your way is enough for you to know you definitely heard him correctly.

you chuckle, "okay, what do I actually have to do."

"I just told you," he says. luke watches your confused face and he sighs, "if matt thinks you're hooking up with somebody, that means he can't have you. he's a competitor, and he wants what he can't have. he saw us together at the party, so therefore, I am your perfect fake boyfriend."

you give him an apprehensive look,"if this is just some weird scheme so you can like...feel me up-"

"feel you up? who even talks like that?" interrupts luke, "I didn't think you spawned from the 1970s."

"okay!" you interrupt, and you rest your head on your palm. "so when you say unavailable but not uninterested, you mean...?"

"I mean flirt with him. and not that poor excuse of conversation you had last night with him, I mean flirt with him."

"right..." you say hesitantly, "so what does this fake dating entail?"

luke pouts in thought for a moment, but then he leans forward. "well, it needs to be believable, so you can't be all weird," he says.

"you're the one who makes it weird." you retort.

"we will have to pretend that we are like, totally falling for each other, okay? so i'll be giving you hugs, and you'll like, I don't know, touch my hair and put your hand on my chest and shit. and when I do this," he pauses and places his hand over yours that is resting atop the table. you tense, pulling your hand away, "you definitely shouldn't do that." luke says.

"so we have to pretend we are together...all the time?"

"not all the time. just around our friends and well, matt of course."

you begin to nod, but then you sigh. "wait, ariana knows that i'm hopelessly obsessed with matt. she won't believe I forgot about him just like that for...you."

you say with a hint of displeasure and luke smirks, "awe, I love when you talk dirty with me."

you ignore him, "i'll have to tell her about our plan."

"no!" luke says quickly, "you can't."

"why not?"

"because..." he is panicking, "what if...she tells mark and then - you know mark, he can't keep a secret to save his life. matt will find out and then this will be for nothing."

he can see the gears turning in your head but you nod slowly. "okay, that makes sense. it stays a secret."

"our secret," he agrees, holding out his pinky across from you.

you look at his pinky, back to his face and do it once more. "really?"

"pinky promise me baby."

you roll your eyes at the pet name but oblige, wrapping your small finger around his much bigger pinky. "pinky promise...lukey."

he licks his teeth as the two of you unravel fingers. "tomorrow night, there's a basketball game. me and the guys usually go when we have a free night, so this time, you'll be coming with. i'll tell mark to invite ariana too."

"okay," you smile. "you know, I feel like this will work. it feels right."

luke nods, "yeah, it will work." little does she know, he thinks. "i'll put my number in your phone, that way you can text me your address for the game tomorrow."

you slide him your cell, and he quickly does what he said he would, locking your phone and giving it back. "I have to go, I need to sleep and finish homework before my game, but text me!" he's speaking loudly as he's leaving, and you try not to cringe as a couple students look your way - clearly curious about the loud voice.

you open your phone and scroll down to the L names in your contact list and immediately find him saved under: lukey 😍

you roll your eyes.

you

lukey 😍 ? really?

lukey 😍

love it?

lukey 😍

see you tomorrow

later that evening you send him your address and said goodnight. that didn't stop him from asking you a bunch of questions and trying to follow you on every social media platform you had a profile on. you didn't answer, but you woke that next morning and saw he had found you on his own. you sighed, rolling your eyes but following him back.

the evening came quickly, your day packed with classes which took up any free time to leave you anticipating the evening. when you got back home, you only had an hour to shower and change into something presentable for the game.

while you were finishing getting presentable, ariana had asked for your opinion on three different outfits, and even though you liked every single one, she kept changing.

lukey😍

we are out front

"ariana! they are here." you call out, grabbing your belt bag and heading down the stairs of your house.

"coming!" ariana responded, following you down the steps and out the front doors. the two of you nodded goodbye to your third roommate, rosie, and met the guys outside.

luke was outside of the truck already, arms crossed as he waited for the two of you. ariana ran straight passed him, greeting mark through the passenger seat window.

you approached him slowly. "hey," you said and he smiled. "hi," as you got closer he wrapped his arms around you and the feeling of him holding you has you tensing up.

luke can feel your rigid posture and he sighs into the side of your face. "relax," he whispers in your ear, "we are dating, remember? look a bit happier to see me."

his words have you smiling tightly, following suit in wrapping your arms around luke to complete the hug.

"we are in the back," he says. you nod, noticing that ariana was tucked away in the front middle seat between mark and rutger. "okay."

luke opened the door and you see ethan behind the drivers seat on his phone. great, you think, i'm going to be squished between two hockey players. this was your nightmare. you grab the handle to try and haul yourself up into the truck, and you have to ignore the way luke pushes on the back of your thigh to help you in.

you sit down, and luke barely shuts the door before rutger starts driving. you quickly buckle your seatbelt as the vehicle turns off your road.

"so, y/n, you like basketball?" rutger asks. at the question, you can feel ethan's eyes studying the side of your face, waiting for an answer.

although you don't want to participate in small talk with rutger mcgoarty or ethan edwards, you decide to play nice. "it's alright," you hum, "luke said that you guys go often. do you like basketball, rutger?"

he laughs once, one hand spinning the wheel as he makes another turn. "it's alright."

the sharp turn slides your body into luke's side, and you choose to ignore the way you tuck perfectly into his arm. before you can move back over, luke's hand comes down over yours atop your thigh.

on instinct and you pull away from his touch, tucking your hand between your legs. immediately, his foot nudges against yours, and you look up at him with raised brows. luke looks down at his hand again expectantly, flexing his fingers slightly. you sigh, reluctantly grabbing his hand, interlocking your fingers and resting them in your lap. you can feel ethan's eyes on you both again but you ignore him.

the drive is filled with comfortable chatter until you all arrive at the court. rutger drops you all off and then searches the parking lot for a spot to put the truck. ethan, mark and ariana are ahead of you and luke, talking loudly as they made their way to the court.

luke wraps his arm around your shoulders and you flinch. "you have to stop reacting like that when I touch you."

"sorry! i'm not used to you touching me - like at all, I can't help it." you whisper.

"and you have to start smiling at me more, ethan was looking at you weird in the truck." luke whispers back, eyes darting behind himself to see if his teammate has made it inside yet. "you have to look like you like me in front of matthew. when we get in there, you gotta like...touch me and stuff."

you pull a face at the thought and luke sighs, "y/n, you gotta work with me here."

you sigh in deafeat. out of the corner of your eye, you see rutger walk through the double doors, making his way over to where luke and yourself have stopped walking. without thinking too much, you place a hand on luke's arm, smiling up at him as your other hand pushes through his head of curls.

"what's happening?" luke mumbles with furrowed brows, quizzical glances on your bright smile.

through your teeth you mutter, "rutger is watching."

it all makes sense after that, luke thinks. luke smiles immediately and wraps you in a hug, playing into your touches just as his friend reaches the two of you. "you guys ready to head inside?" he asks.

"yeah," you say, "lead the way." you tell him and he smirks, walking in front of the two of you.

the three of you find ariana, mark and ethan quickly, thankfully they got six good seats near the court, which would help your case greatly. you notice behind them are dylan duke and jacob truscott - two more members of the wolverines hockey team.

luke sits first, beside mark, and you now sit between luke and a stranger as rutger moves to sit on the opposite end with ethan, closer to dylan and jacob. the four of them immediately laughing and talking loudly over the busy stands.

the basketball team takes the court for the first half and you spot matthew's head of blonde hair immediately. the fluorescent lights making his straight locks look even silkier than normal. you sigh longingly.

you feel luke's thumb wipe at your lip and you look towards him with wide eyes. "you had a little drool there." he smirks. luke had clearly been watching you as you admired your crush.

"shut up," you say, shoving his chest. "I did not."

"no, but i wouldn't be surprised if you did. stop looking at him like that, it's kind of creepy." he whispers.

"how am I supposed to to look at him then?" you ask.

"I don't know, like you're kinda uninterested but also interested."

"luke that makes no sense." you retort.

"If he looks over here, and you make eye contact, I want you to smile a little bit, but look away right after." he says, "guys like that. it's like you're hard to get."

you look up at him, only to find luke is already looking at you. "right," you whisper.

the busy stands have you practically sitting on luke's seat. you can smell his woodsy cologne as look up at him. before you can think about how good he smells, you look away, back towards the court. his eyes linger on the side of your face for only a moment longer, and then luke looks away.

oddly enough, matt does look over in your direction and you do exactly what luke told you to do - although you felt odd doing it. you just didn't feel like yourself, and it seemed weird. almost like you knew it wasn't the way you and matt were supposed to start your relationship. but then, luke nudged you knowingly and wiggled his eyebrows when matt nodded in your direction, and everything felt good.

the game ended and michigan won, which the crowd was happy with as they erupted in cheers and celebration, surely talk about an after party floating around in the crowd. rutger mentioned that they always stayed after the game to chat with the players, and you didn't plan on arguing.

"hey, matt, what's up man!" jacob said from beside you. his name has you tensing up in your spot standing between truscott and luke.

you spot matt's blonde hair push through the crowd, smiling briefly as he sees you all. "what's up guys," matt greeted the group of hockey players like every guy does. matt looks happy from the win and his skin was glistening with sweat in a way that had you feeling hot.

"great game man," mark says, ariana tucked into his side.

"thanks, I mean the other team kept giving us too many chances. honestly, it was like playing against a bunch of chicks - bunch of fucking pussies." matt laughs at his own words. the guys around you give a few pity laughs, awkwardly glancing at one another.

you frown slightly. that's not something you ever pictured matt saying - especially in the presence of women. but you don't dwell on, because - not everybody is perfect...right?

"hey, this is my girlfriend ariana," mark says, breaking the awkward tension by introducing his girl to the basketball player, who shakes her hand.

then matt turns to you and - "you are?"

oh. you try not to let your initial smile falter. all joy from matt turning towards you and making eye contact, completely disappears. clearing your throat of emotions, you stick out your hand, "y/n."

"nice to meet you." matt notes.

"you've actually met her before," luke says, arm resting on your shoulders, "at the party a few days ago."

matt looks taken back for a moment, gears clearly turning in his head as he's trying to remember you. "oh, right, my bad." you can tell by the look in his eyes he really doesn't remember you or the interaction: you try not to feel defeated.

"it's okay!" you say quickly and mark's eyes widen at your loud tone. you suprise yourself at the loudness of your voice, and you clear your throat. "by the way, matt, uh, your sweat makes your skin look nice! very glowy."

"what?" jacob mutters, and you fight the urge to face palm at yourself. ariana is giving you a perplexed look and dylan along with rutger look like they are trying to cover a laugh.

nonetheless, matt thanks you, even though it comes out more like a question. "you guys coming to the party tonight?"

you try not to let your shoulders drop in embarrassment and disappointment. this was going terribly.

"yeah, I was thinking we would stop by, we will probably see you there," rutger says.

"awesome! I gotta hit the showers but i'll see you later, nice meeting you girls." he sends a tight lipped smile to you all and jogs away.

you try not to look deafted as your friends all walk infront of you and luke, talking amongst themselves loudly as you all make your way outside.

"you okay?" luke asks quietly at your side, arm brushing against yours with each step you take.

you nod yes once, tucking some hair behind your ear. "i'm actually not feeling up for a party tonight, so i'll just walk home. it's only like 20 minutes probably, so i'll just text you later and we can -"

luke stops walking, "what? no, try like 40 minutes. you're not walking home. i'll drive you after we drop them at the party."

you nod and say nothing more as you both catch up to your friends. the drive to the party was filled with loud conversation and laughter and music- everyone enjoying themselves. expect for you, as you opted to only chime in when needed. the embarrassment of your crush forgetting you, weighing heavy on your mind.

eventually, rutger pulled up to the house hosting the after party and parked the truck.

"hey, man," luke starts when everybody starts unbuckling their seatbelts, climbing out of the vehicle, "y/n isn't feeling well so i'm going to drive her home and then i'll come back with the truck."

"are you okay?" ariana turns in her seat to look at you, eyes dancing over your face to catch any signs of sickness.

"yeah," you nod towards your best friend, "I just need some sleep, I think."

rutger nods, "yeah, sure." he hands luke the keys and you all switch seats. only you and luke are left as you move to sit in the front, as the rest of them head inside the party.

the short drive back to your home was silent. it's only when luke pulls up to the front of your house and parks the truck is when he decides to speak.

"are you sure you're okay?"

sighing, "no, god," your head hits the headrest and slowly rolls until you're looking at luke. "I feel humiliated. I made a fool of myself, luke. why did I bring up his fucking sweat!"

"you didn't make a fool of yourself," luke says quickly, "you tried, just like we talked about. we will work on it, y/n. promise."

"what if i look stupid again?" you feel like crying saying that out loud, but do your best holding back any emotion.

"you've never looked stupid, y/n." luke says quietly, face full of sincerity as he looks at you. you muster up a nod of agreement, eyes bright in the darkness of the truck. "don't think that way, okay?"

"m'kay," you hum.

"did you want me to stay with you for a bit?"

"it's okay," you say and open the door, hopping down and out of rutger's lifted truck. "thanks for driving me home, I appreciate everything you're doing for me."

"it's no problem," luke says, "i'll text you tomorrow so we can talk about next steps, okay? don't let tonight weigh on you too much, this is going to work."

"okay," you whisper through the night air, "goodnight lukey." you send him a small smile after the teasing nickname and he smiles, shaking his head in slight disbelief.

"goodnight."

part three: the flirting

you walked along luke in the park across from campus, your hands tucked in the pockets of your hoodie as the two of you strolled. even though spring was in full bloom, the early morning provided a chill breeze, leaving you to shiver slightly.

the sun had come up only an hour prior, meaning it was just after 7 in the morning. luke had a 9 o'clock practice and you worked right after his practice ended, leaving the two of you only this hour to meet up and get your next steps in order.

"okay," you start, "where do I go from here? the game was quite literally a disaster."

luke nods in agreement, "you had the right idea, but you're trying too hard. it has to feel and look more natural. if you're going to compliment him again, make it a less disturbing experience and say something easy going."

"okay...like what?"

luke stops walking, grabbing your arms and turning your body to face him. "pretend i'm matt, and flirt with me."

"no," you laugh loudly,"i'm not doing that," you calm down and whisper as two girls walk passed you both, your earlier shout gathering their attention.

"yes, you are. just try. give me a compliment." luke insists.

you sigh, "okay, umm...hey, you have really straight teeth."

"that's weird!" luke exclaims, shoulders dropping.

you groan, "I don't know! I don't want to be boring and just, like, say he has nice eyes."

"well you'd be lying because he has shit brown coloured eyes."

"luke." you deadpan, staring up with him with a very much annoyed expression.

"okay, boring is good. it's simple and effective," luke says as you two continue to walk through campus. "alright, for example;" he clears his throat and looks at you all weird so your raise your brows. "wow, y/n i've never noticed how beautiful your smile is."

you squint at him, "that's it?"

"I thought it was pretty good," he defends himself.

"I suppose," you agree.

"next time you see him, tell him you like the way he's styled his hair or something. guys like him would like that." luke thinks.

"I can do that...hopefully he remembers me this time." you mutter.

luke scoffs, "what do you even see in this guy anyways? he's kind of an asshole."

"he's not," you squawk, "he's funny and smart..." you daydream, which has luke rolling his eyes. "and he plays basketball! I love basketball."

"first of all, you know nothing about basketball," luke says and you roll your eyes, "second of all, how would you know? you've only spoken to the guy twice."

"I can just feel it. those two times we talked, I had a good feeling in my stomach. and besides, it shouldn't matter to you."

"it doesn't really," luke says quickly, "all i'm going to say is that if he was a hockey player instead of a basketball player, you would hate everything about him."

you furrow your brows, "well, I don't date hockey players so..."

"it has nothing to do with the sport. matt johnson is literally rutger 2.0. hell, rutger is more tolerable."

"you're wrong." you say.

"am I?" he says.

you gulp because you aren't sure if he actually is wrong.

"but, who am I to judge," luke tucks his hands in his pockets, "we will get you the guy, y/n, if that's what you want."

you hesitate for a moment. "yeah." you say, "that's what I want."

luke swallows and nods slowly, "okay, come by mine after work? the guys are having a couple people over and I think matt is coming."

you agree quickly, "okay, i'll see you later."

he grabs your arm, spinning you back around to face him before you could leave. "what? no kiss goodbye?"

"luke," you gave him a tentative look. he just smirks and leans down, pressing his lips to your cheek delicately, "guess i'll give you one then." he says against your skin and you have to fight your bodies urge to shudder.

"you're such a..." you shake your head in disbelief.

"charmer?" he interrupts with a smirk.

"a dreamer," you correct. "i'll see you after work." you say, leaving him standing on the pathway and making your way back home.

you got to the hockey house just after 9 p.m. you finished work around 8:30, and when you got home to change into more appropriate clothing, you had been disappointed when you realized you had left your house key inside, and ariana and rosie weren't home. so, there you were, knocking on the door in your work uniform, covered in milk stains and smelling like old coffee beans.

the front door is pulled open and your face to face with ethan. he looks you over once with furrowed brows, "you don't have to knock."

"oh," you say, "sorry."

"don't apologize," he says, "why are you wearing that?"

"it's my uniform." you respond with hesitation. why is he so odd.

"oh, okay. come in then." he pulls the door open wider and you nod, stepping in the home. you drop your bag by the door and ethan hisses warningly.

"what?" you snap and he holds his hands up in surrender.

"there's some new girls here. if you leave your bag there, chances are something will get stolen." oh, you think, that's kinda sweet.

"right," you respond, picking your bag back up, "thanks."

"moose! your girl is here." ethan shouts through the house, voice barley heard over the booming music. despite his call, he throws an arm around your shoulders, guiding you into the living room.

it feels like all eyes are on you when you enter the makeshift living room space. there's a sectional pushed up against the far wall, and a three seater adjacent to it. there's a rickety coffee table in the middle, and a rough looking lazy boy in the other corner. the tv is playing seinfeld on the only free wall left, and the room smells like whiskey. you try not to scrunch your nose up in disgust.

a chorus of greetings are thrown your way. there's a couple people you don't recognize, but most faces you're familiar with.

you see luke stand up from his seat between dylan and luca fantilli, making his way over to the two of you. "hey," he greets as ethan's arm leaves your shoulders, and luke is pulling you into a hug, which is normal now you suppose. "I texted you."

"my phone died," you say, "and i got locked out of my house, I couldn't even change." you whine briefly, exhaustion clear in your tone.

now luke wishes he didn't bring up this small party, especially since he knew matt wasn't going to be there. he just made that minor detail up about tonight, so that you'd be convinced to show up. luke was worried his friends would put two and two together if you were only around when matt was and that would just ruin the entire plan he'd conjured up.

"what are you wearing?" a girl with dark red hair is sitting beside rutger, and she's looking at you with confused brows. although you're always a girls girl, the tone of the mystery girl has you feeling angry.

"my uniform," you bite back. rutger smirks at your attitude and you feel like elbowing his jaw. "I didn't have the opportunity to change out of it...i'm sure somebody in this house has something I could wear."

"oh," the girl hums, all valley girl and uninterested.

"yeah, you can borrow something of mine." luke says into your hairline, arm still wrapping you in his embrace against his side.

rutger laughs, "thank god, I can smell the old creamer from here."

as you and luke pass behind him, he hits rutger up the back of the head and the action has you smiling to yourself, letting luke pull you up the stairs by your hand and to his bedroom.

his walls were a light gray colour, which you assumed was already painted when the boys moved in. he had a couple hockey related items up on the wall, along with a photograph framed of his family. he had a desk covered in school work, along with a bed in the opposite corner with a nightstand, which was also covered in random items. you looked away embarrassed when you spotted the open box of condoms beside the lamp.

in the time of you slightly snooping around, luke had pulled sweats out of his dresser. "here," he says. you don't have time to register his words before he throws some clothes at your chest. you catch them with a grunt, a sarcastic thank you follows.

luke jumps on his bed, long body sprawled out with his hands gathered behind his head. you look at him and his relaxed demeanour with confusion, "are you going to leave so I can change or..?"

"...no? i've seen naked girls before."

"you've never seen me naked before," you retort harshly.

luke just shrugs and makes no moves to leave you alone. sensing your hesitation, he sighs, "if i run into somebody in the hall, don't you think they'd be confused if my girlfriend made me leave while she changes?"

he makes a good point - so for the sake of your fake relationship, you push your nerves aside.

you grab a throw pillow that was on the floor and toss it at his face. "just...cover your face then."

he laughs and obliges, using the pillow to shield his eyes. you take a moment to make sure he won't make any moves to peek at you, and then you turn your back to him. first, taking off your polo shirt and replacing it with luke's michigan wolverine one. although he's much taller than you, he's not insanely built, so the shirt is baggy but not swimming on you. next goes your slacks, leaving you in your underwear.

"are you wearing blue underwear?" luke's question is muffled from under the pillow. you pause, looking over your shoulder to make sure he was still shut eye. "I can sense the colour blue."

"no," you hum as you pull his sweatpants over your very much blue underwear. in a moment of boldness you say, "i'm not wearing any."

luke removes the pillow from his face in a hurry and you gasp at him. "hey!"

"just was seeing if you were telling the truth." he shrugs like it's no big deal.

"you're lucky I pulled these on before you saw...anything." you curse yourself for lack of a better word.

you can feel the pants slipping down, so you roll them at the waist, even though it does nothing, pant legs are still pooled at the floor, covering your feet. you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirrored closet door and groan. "I look awful."

"what?" you watch as luke's brows draw together in confusion. "what are you even saying?"

"my skin is oily, my hair is dirty and," you pause to sniff the ends, "smells like fucking cappuccino and i'm literally swimming in these clothes. I look and feel like shit."

"you don't," luke says, "girls always look cute in guys clothes so like, don't even start."

you give luke a gentle smile in the mirror, "you think I look cute?"

"you already know my answer..." he whispers. your eyes catch his on the bed, and you body goes slightly limp. the situation becomes very real, very quick, leaving you to clear your throat and run a hand through your hair nervously.

"is matt still coming?" you ask, collecting your clothes off the floor and stuffing them in your bag. "I didn't see him when we were down there."

you hear luke sigh quietly from his spot on the bed, "matt can't make it."

you freeze momentarily, "oh."

"yeah, i'm sorry." he says. luke watches your face falter slightly. you push off the floor and sit down beside him on the bed. he can't read your expression, but then your shoulders deflate and you start to cry.

luke sits up in a hurry. "hey, don't cry. what's wrong?"

"i'm sorry," you huff, wiping your face of tears aggressively, "i don't mean to be so emotional, i'm just- is it weird that i'm relived?" you mumble.

you look over and see his slightly confused expression, mixed with a hint of concern. you sigh, wiping your nose with the back of your hand, "I'm just so tired, and I feel like shit and I look bad, and - and all day I was making myself so anxious. what do I say to him and how do I act around him - god, I feel pathetic." you laugh at yourself, wiping your face again, "and now i'm crying infront of you! a guy who really doesn't care, i'm probably making you uncomfortable."

luke is looking at you all soft and then he places his hand over yours, clearly not worried about any tears or snot from your crying. you don't have the instinct to pull away, and you almost want to interlock your fingers.

"I do care, y/n. i'm sorry. have I been putting too much pressure on you? too much information?"

"no," you say immediately, "you've actually been keeping me from going crazy, I think." you smile at him without teeth and luke feels a pang in his chest.

"let's just stay up here," luke concludes, "we can watch some youtube on my phone."

you nod gently, swinging your legs onto the plush duvet of luke's bed. "no promises I won't fall asleep, i'm so tired."

"I don't mind ," luke says.

you find yourself nodding again, both of adjusting until you're laying down beside one another. your limbs are kept to yourself as you cuddle into his pillow, which surprisingly smelt clean. the sidemen video luke chose was playing for 10 minutes before you fell asleep, your soft snoring alerting him of your new state.

luke smiled softly, admiring the way you looked so peaceful under the glow of his phone screen. he exited the app and opened his camera, snapping a picture of you as you slept, your face illuminated by his lamp. he immediately makes it his lockscreen.

you know, he thinks, in case one of the guys questions why you aren't his lockscreen.

then he grabs your phone, opening the camera before taking a selfie of the both of you: you out cold and him with puckered lips. he can't wait until you yell at him about it.

part four: the secret glances

"can't I just fail instead?" luke groans, tossing his pencil against his textbook before slamming it shut.

"no," you say, re opening the book, "absolutely not."

you two are taking up a table in the back of the schools library: right near a big window that was currently letting in the last bit of daylight.

luke groaned, his head falling back. he stretched his long legs out, unintentionally intertwining his with yours underneath the table.

you sighed at his sulky expression. in passing, luke had mentioned he wasn't understanding some psychology assignment and was just gunna flunk it, but lucky (or unluckily given his expression) for him, you were great at the subject, and offered to meet up after his game to help him out. surprisingly, he agreed. although he wanted to do it at his house, you suggested the roudy environment of his place wasn't the best option.

"we are almost done," you tell him and he lifts his head, looking back at you with a pout. "lukeeee" you whine.

you see the corner of his mouth tug up in a smirk but he fixed his expression immediately. "okay well," he pushed all his books to your side of the table before getting up, dragging his chair around to your side.

he sits back down and turns towards you sweetly. "can you type the rest if I tell you what to say? my fingers are sore."

he's pouting again and you laugh, "you're unbelievable." but you do it anyway, angling his laptop towards yourself - and you don't even make him contribute, which luke was surprised with. you just typed out his conclusion paragraph wordlessly.

it isn't 5 minutes later before you're saving his work. "done." you say, shutting the lid. "you'll just have to spell check everything before you hand it in - which I hope you're capable of."

he scoffs out a laugh, "i'm very capable."

you get a chance to really look at his face, and you can see a black eye forming. his blinks are slow, indicating he's tired, and suddenly you feel bad for making him do this after a game.

"why are you looking at me like that?" he says.

you ignore his question and ask one of your own interest. "how'd you get the black eye?"

"high stick," he says simply.

"does it hurt?" you pout.

"not right now - did at the time." you're still staring so luke smirks, "does it make me look hot or something?"

you snap out of your daze, "what? no."

somebody shushes the two of you somewhere in the library and immediately you slap a hand to your mouth, luke laughing at your expression.

"yeah, y/n, shhh," he teases with a small laugh.

you give him a bewildered look, "did you just shush me? you know what.." you laugh, jumping up and covering his laughing mouth with your hand - he's still laughing, tickling your side which makes you squirm away. it ends up with you both getting shushed again.

you sit back, "okay, I think that's our sign to head out." luke agrees as you start to pack up your school work, admiring the way your side profile looked. you looked so beautiful: the glow of the library lamps made your jaw look softer, your eyes brighter. "let me walk you home."

you look towards him with raised brows. "I think i'll be okay."

"I wasn't asking." he says.

"okay tough guy," you smirk, brushing your fingers across his cheek bone: just under the forming black eye. he gulps and his mouth drops slightly at your soft touch - but you stop too soon, he thinks, grabbing your bag and standing up. "let's go then."

he nods with a smirk, collecting his own bag before following you out of the library, and if he watches the way your ass moves in your leggings - that's nobody's business.

part five: the feelings

your phone buzzed gently on the mattress beside your head. you groan, twisting your eyes shut harder, trying to let sleep take over. it buzzes again. you sigh, rolling away from the phone. and then it's buzzing sporadically, altering you of an incoming call.

who's calling this late, you think. the incoming call ends just as you pick your your cell.

(1) missed call from lukey 😍

(4) unread messages from lukey 😍

heyyyyyy y/n (1:43 am)

wha r ya boing rigt nkow? (1:51 am)

let me in (2:06 am)

y/n (2:06 am)

you shot up out of bed, because there's no way he was actually outside your door...right? you descend down the stairs and your thoughts are confirmed when you hear sloppy knocking and luke talking outside. you pull open the front door and you are met with hazy eyes and a dopey smile.

"luke? what the fuck are you doing?"

"I wanted to see you," he slurs, leaning his body on the door frame to steady himself.

you cross your arms, suddenly aware you just ran down the stairs and opened the door in your thin t-shirt and small loose shorts. luke didn't even notice though, he was too drunk - too tired. "it's after 2. where have you been?" you question gently.

he shrugs, "some football party but i missed you so I gave my uber your address and told him you were my girlfriend...I even showed him pictures of you, he says you're pretty," it's hard to understand him fully, but you think you got the jist of it.

"alright big guy, want me to drive you home?"

he gives you a bewildered look. "no? can't I stay here with my girlfriend?"

you grab his arm gently, pulling him inside your home. "i'm not actually your girlfriend," you whisper to him. he kicks off his shoes clumsily, tossing his coat to the floor.

"why not?" he frowns, dropping his body weight onto you and you groan out, his slurred question falling on deaf ears.

"okay, let's go upstairs," you say and he nods, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you guide him upstairs the best you can, even if it takes a couple stumbles to get there.

you shut your bedroom door behind you, blindly moving until you can flick on your bedside lamp, illuminating the room in the a warm glow. you look over to luke, who is lying face down on your bed like a starfish.

"luke, scooch over," you say and he groans, rolling over onto his back. you climb back into bed, tucking yourself underneath the covers while he stays on top.

you are turned towards him with your eyes closed but luke can't find himself to do the same. he delicately runs a finger down the bridge of your nose and you peek one eye open at him. the corner of his lip quirks up and you raise your brow. "you have freckles," he whispers, "i've never noticed."

"that's because i'm usually wearing makeup when you see me...and more clothes." you sigh.

"I like you like this," he says and you ignore the way your heart starts beating a mile a minute. the gentle tone and sincerity of his words have you feeling warm in a way you've never felt before.

"you're drunk." you say after a moment, grabbing his hand that rested on your collarbone and giving it back to him. "get some sleep."

he laughs, grabbing your hand as you try and retract it, sliding his fingers between yours. "I like being your friend, you're actually pretty cool for someone who doesn't like hockey."

you watch as his eyes start to flutter and you have to urge to massage his scalp and rub his back and kiss him. "I like being your friend too," is what you settle for instead, pushing your thoughts deep and deeper until they become nonexistent.

"I knew you would," he smirks with his eyes closed and not a minute after his breathing slows and his hand goes limp, signalling he's entered a deep drunken sleep.

you use your free hand a turn the lamp off, the room consumed by darkness once again. you close your eyes and for the first time in a long time you don't think about matt.

you are woken up that morning by a deep groan. at first you freeze, confused on why a manly noise would be heard in your bed. you open one eye and see luke and then the night comes back to you.

luke groans again, hand covering his eyes to protect them from the stream of sunlight coming through your widow.

"luke?" you whisper.

he opens his eyes just barley, turning his head only to find you staring at him with the softest look he's ever seen. "hey," his voice is raspy. for a moment he takes in his surrounding with a confused expression, but slowly his memories come back and he groans once more. "sorry about last night."

"that's okay," you say. "I work in an hour but you don't have to leave. are you hungry? I could make you something greasy?" he's looking at you like a deer in headlights because how the hell are you so kind.

"yeah, okay," luke says, sitting up against your headboard. "but only if you let me walk you to work."

you hold the covers tight to your chest, sitting up with him. "are you sure you're not too hungover?" you tease.

he laughs softly, "i'm never too hungover for you." you roll your eyes and he feels satisfied with your reaction. "okay, go downstairs while I change, i'm pretty sure you can see everything through this damn shirt."

luke raises his brows and his signature smirk is back. "show me and I can tell you if that's true."

you giggle, like an actual giggle, and push his shoulder. "just...go downstairs, i'll be right down."

"okay fine," he smiles, leaving you alone to get changed. his phone buzzes twice in his pocket and he pulls out his cell.

rutger

dude where the hell did you end up ? 😂

luke

y/n's

rutger

ouuuu moose 🫣

rutger

don't get too attached - remember what this is dude

luke

nah i'm good

luke sighs and pockets his phone. he was kinda screwed.

part six: the party

a couple of weeks passed since luke fell asleep drunk in your bed. that next morning after you made breakfast, luke had walked you to work like he said, kissing your cheek before you went inside, which was just...rude. after that, every couple days you and luke would meet up whenever your schedules aligned to discuss your plan. he continued to give you tips and ideas to land with matt, and you think they were working. matt started small talk with you in every morning class, and he even complimented you once.

although things with matt were progressing, it didn't feel as you thought it may. when he spoke to you, you didn't get butterflies like expected and when he looked at you, you didn't feel warm. often in class, his opinions weren't ones to be proud of - and his comments and remarks gave you something like an ick.

but, you think of all the work you and luke have put into this damn relationship hunt and you have to push those feelings away and plaster on a smile.

the party you were currently standing in the middle of, was hosted at one of the basketball players fraternity: the captain, you're pretty sure. well, matt was the one who invited you...kind of. it happened after class the previous day. you had been walking out with dylan duke, two of you discussing the homework you planned on finishing before luke got back home to 'steal you away' - in the words of dylan - and matt had just pushed between you and interrupted.

before dylan could say anything, matt had just straight up asked if you were coming. which, no you obviously weren't planning on going unless the guys were going. then matt notices it was dylan you were with and he completely switches personalities. eventually, dylan shared that the team was planning on stopping in and that you'd probably be going as well.

then, before matt walked away, he sent you a smirk. it was happening, you think, all the hard work you've forced yourself through and you force yourself to get excited.

"hey! you made it." matt's deep voice snaps you out of your own head and his hand clamps on your shoulder.

you wipe your hands down the front of your black mini skirt and send him a closed mouth smile. the month of may had finally started to feel like may, so you immediately took the opportunity to wear a summery outfit. "I did, yeah," you smile, letting matt give you a brief side hug.

you're not sure where his sudden touchiness came from but you ignore it.

"you want a drink?" he asks and you nod once.

"yeah, sure, lead the way." he brings you over to the open kitchen, and pours you some mystery liquor in a red cup. you thank him, trying not to cringe at the first sip, your tastebuds attacked by the amount of vodka. "so," matt says, "how are you feeling about almost being done the year?"

you nod, "yeah, i'm excited. ready for a break," you laugh and matt laughs gently with you.

"I hear that. is luke nervous about playoffs starting soon?"

"I think he's okay," you say, because you actually have no idea. he's never mentioned anything like that when you've been around but you kind of wished he did. the urge to ditch matt and make

luke tell you every doubt and worry he's ever had overcomes your body - but you stay put.

"nice," matt hums, eyes leaving your figure to look out into the bustling party. then, his brows raise and he lets out a low whistle, "isn't that luke over there?"

you look over in the direction matt was referring to, and see a taller blonde girl talking to your fake boyfriend. you nod, swallowing your spit harshly as you watch them interact. the girl was so beautiful, with long tan legs, and honey coloured hair, shiny teeth and perfect skin. she was your complete opposite. "are you guys having problems, or something?" matt asks, eyes dancing over your unreadable expression. "shit, that's girls a rocket - that's tough, kid."

you knaw on your lip to try and stop from lashing out at matt's tone. "ummm, yeah. we are fighting. looks like he's found someone to peek his interest," you laugh awkwardly but your eyes don't leave luke's tall figure from across the room.

luke smiles at something the girl says and your heart stops momentarily.

"fuck, maybe you should do the same," matt says, and your head snaps over in his direction.

"yeah, maybe."

he smirks at you, "hey, wanna come upstairs with me? I have a question about our next assignment. I heard you and dylan talking about it the other day, and you're like nerdy so i figured you'd have the answers."

your face falls. of course there's an actual reason why matt was seeking your attention. he needed help with a fucking word problem because his stupid pea brain couldn't handle thinking - you stop your own thoughts and take a deep breath.

you plaster on a smile, "sure."

matt doesn't sense your attitude and just smirks again. then, he leads you both up the stairs near the back of the house, his hand hovering the small of your back as you walk infront of him.

rutger was watching you and matt interact in the kitchen from his spot in the living room with an amused smirk on his lips. he watched as your eyes flashed with real jealousy as luke and the blonde girl, named sam, flirt. or rather, sam flirt and luke just responding occasionally.

as rutger watches you admire his teammate from across the party, he really thinks luke is doing it. you are falling for him. he didn't think luke had it in him, and just when rutger was about to say something teasing to luke, he watches matt lead you upstairs to the bedrooms - the basketball player almost touching you. rutger sees the look on your face and he's pushing away from the wall and over to his teammate.

rutger grabbed luke's shoulder harshly, "dude why is matthew johnson leading your girl upstairs?"

luke's eyes have never moved faster, and he catches a glimpse of your face before you're gone behind the wall and luke's stomach plummets. something wasn't right.

"what part of the assignment did you need help with?" you ask once you walk into what is assumingely, matt's bedroom. the idea of being in his bedroom isn't all that exciting, and it smells like boy in the worst way.

you place your cup down on his desk just as matt shuts the bedroom door behind you two, the click of the latch echoing throughout the room.

you spin on your heels so you can face matt again, and as you do, you find him much closer than you thought he'd be. your eyes widen, and you take a step back. unfortunately, his desk is in your way, and you bump into the wood.

"sorry," he laughs breathlessly at your reaction, he takes another step closer to you and your stomach drops.

"you just, scared me. you were closer than expected." you laugh once breathlessly, wringing your hands out in front of you. "so the assignment?"

you freeze as matt reaches out, tucking a piece of your loose hair behind your ear. "i don't actually need help with the assignment," he mumbles with a laugh, his fingers moving across your collarbone, "i'm pretty sure my grade is higher than yours," he chimes, hand grabbing onto your bicep to pull you even closer.

you chest bumps against his and you feel yourself flushing warm with panick. you try and tug your arm away, but he's too strong. you should shout, be loud...but you can only whimper, "what are you doing?"

he gives you a look, brows furrowing as if he can't understand why you'd be confused at his actions. "i'm helping you peek your interest, obviously," his fingers dig deeper into your muscle, the hand that was once on your collarbone comes up to hold your face tightly. "luke doesn't know what he's got - with me, it'll be good" matt tells you.

"no. let me go." your voice struggles to be louder than a whisper. "stop," you plead, but he shushes you, lips attaching themselves to your neck.

"matt, please." you whimper, tears falling down your cheeks but he doesn't listen to your obvious distress, continuing to touch you in a way you never once gave him the impression of wanting.

the door knob behind him jiggles, trying to be pried open. you cry harder. the door knob continued to move, altering you that somebody was trying to get in.

you need to scream, your brain tells you. this is a chance to let somebody save you from something horrible. but your voice feels lost - body feels numb. you should've never come up to the room, you think. and suddenly, you feel stupid for allowing yourself to be in this situation. you're frozen as matt continues to ignore your earlier pleas.

"y/n?!" the voice is muffled through the door as somebody calls out to you. it takes your body a moment to react but you feel yourself come to. your brain catching up as you recognize the voice behind the door.

with that, you find your voice again. "luke!" you cry out and it isn't a moment later the door is busted open, revealing rutger and the man who called out for you. matthew jumps off you in shock.

one look at your pale face and matt's close proximity, the puzzle pieces are pieced together.

immediately luke rushes forward, grabbing matthew by the collar of his shirt, pushing him up against the wall roughly, rattling the pictures that hung.

rutger rushes towards you, checking over your face for any injuries. it's all happening too fast, and you didn't even notice when you started to cry, but now you are full on sobbing, watching luke grab onto matthew.

you close your eyes once he begins to shout, holding onto your own arms.

"if you ever touch her, look at her or even think of my girlfriend ever again, it will be the last thing you ever do. consider yourself done with anything to do with her or your future at this school - you piece of shit."

rutger moves forward, pulling luke's hands off of matthew, "let's go." he says. "he's not worth your words - he's a fucking joke."

luke is breathing heavily, anger still evident as he releases the collar of matt's shirt. just as he begins to turn away from the basketball player, luke pauses, faces matt again, pulls his fist back and hits matthew square in the jaw. "never again!" luke says once more, looking down at matthew who fell to the floor from the force of the punch.

people start to make their way up the stairs and towards the door from the commotion. curses and gasps echo through your ears as party goers take in the sight. you feel so embarrassed - not with luke hitting someone but rather in yourself for being in the situation.

luke turns his body fully away from matt and sees your tear stained face, still pale and delicate. his heart breaks and stomach falls, and he rushes towards you. something that sounds like a coo passes his lips quietly, his eyes softening and he pulls you under his arm. "i've got you, it's okay."

you're still crying as luke leads you away from the room and curious party people, walking you both swiftly down the stairs. rutger is a few feet behind you, making sure everybody knows what a terrible person their star basketball player is.

"did you drive?" luke asks gently as you exit the house.

the fresh air has you shaking, "no, I ubered."

"want us to bring you home?" rutger pipes up from behind you and luke. you nod softly, body still quivering. luke squeezes you tighter.

the ride back to your place was silent, even rutger didn't make any moves to speak, which was out of character. not even a joke or quip could break the tense silence after the serious incident. the only sounds are the tires against pavement and the song playing quietly on the radio.

thankfully, luke chooses to sit with you in the backseat. he doesn't push you into talking or explaining what happened before he showed up and you're so thankful for that. instead, he lets you hold onto his arm tightly and sniffle into his shoulder.

the tires squeak with a stop not long after, signalling your arrival back home.

"thanks for the ride," you say quietly. luke watches your sad eyes and still shaking hands and he sits up a little straighter. he places his hand on rutgers shoulder, "hey, do you mind waiting for a minute, i'm gunna walk her inside."

"of course, moose." rutger says. he sends you one more gentle glance before luke is ushering you both out the backseat to make the short journey up the stairs to your home.

the house is quiet when you two get inside as your roommates are out for the night, leaving you and luke alone. with that in mind, as soon as the door shuts behind him, you really start to cry. you turn your body to look at him and immediately luke's somber frown deepens, and he wraps you in a proper hug. "i'm so sorry that happened." he whispers into your hair.

"I feel so stupid," you sob.

luke pulls back slightly and looks down at your teary face, "why? you're not stupid."

you sniffle, "I really thought he was a good guy, you saw it anytime we talked - that look on my face. i've wasted your time, all the help you've given me, how could I not know this would happen? these past few days he's not given me any good signs and i shouldnt of gone to the party - or upstairs, and...this is my fault."

luke gently holds your face, and his touch subsided your cries momentarily. "you are not stupid and it is not your fault. what happened tonight was awful and that shouldn't of gone down. i'm sorry baby." neither of you blink at the pet name - it was just normal now. all of this between the two of you was normal now. "you didn't waste my time, i've never had more fun with anybody than i've had spending time with you. I don't even care that it had to do with matthew," his name is said in disgust, "because it turned into more than that."

"you promise?" you're looking at him how you always did but luke has never felt the feeling he currently had swirling in his chest and stomach. "I promise."

you smile slightly and you think if this was under any other circumstance you would've kissed him but instead you say, "can you stay the night? rutger can stay too if he wants."

"of course i'll stay." he says in confidence.

you and luke fall asleep in your bed soon after, rutgers snoring can barley be heard from his spot on the couch. as you're dozing off, you can't help but think maybe hockey players aren't so bad after all.

link to playlist

#🤍⊹˚₊ cute and hughesy fic #nhl imagine #luke hughes imagine #hockey imagine #new jersey devils imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl hockey #nhl smut #hockey smut #nhl blurb #hockey fic #hockey blurb #luke hughes fic #luke hughes fluff #luke hughes smut #luke hughes x reader

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funkyplantguy · 6 months ago

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guys. guys. listen. listen. cub and mumbo as a ship have the most perfect setup and you all are sleeping on it but never fear!! as i am here to spread the Good News of cumbo. number one. they're both fucking insane in the head. they both have the capacity to become completely and totally and exquisitely obsessed with each other in a really weird and probably really fucked up way. number two. they're the Best Friends (trademark pending) of scar and grian respectively. they're both victims witnesses of Whatever The Fuck those two have going on at all times. they can complain to each other about it. they can complain together about how scar and grian dance around each other all the fucking time and how insufferable they both are because of it. they can unknowingly start their own dance, orbiting each other at a distance until one of them goes fucking crazy and veers off course and they make out sloppy style. it's perfect. it's perfect.

#yeah it's a “rare pair” but have you considered simply becoming feral over it and subjecting everyone around you to it constantly?#alternatively: yeah it's a “rare pair” but it SURE AS HELL WON'T BE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON IT #cubfan135 #mumbo jumbo #goodtimeswithscar #grian #cumbo #scarian #hermitshipping #there's obviously more than two reasons i'm just at work and should probably be working on not on tumblr so we'll keep it brief for now

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heliza24 · 2 months ago

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Consent and Abuse in The Vampire Chronicles (and how it explains things like Daniel and Louis's disappearances)

TW: discussions of abuse, sexual abuse and rape, and CSA throughout this meta.

I’ve now read the first six Vampire Chronicles books, and I want to talk about the role that consent, or more importantly, the lack thereof, plays in the morality the books espouse. When I was a few books in, I discovered this post by @diasdelasombra, which uses excerpts from several scholarly texts to create a schema that helps us understand who Anne Rice considered a “worthy” victim of abuse. To summarize, the characters that Anne favors and who are featured in the narrative were violated against their will, but don’t whine about their misfortune. Instead they extend grace and forgiveness to their abuser. (Think of David or Lestat) The characters who are portrayed as conniving, wicked, or who are punished by the narrative are those who don’t adequately protest their assault, or who harbor anger or plans of revenge towards their abuser (think of Claudia).

When I say abuse here, I am specifically talking about sexual abuse and rape, but also being turned into a vampire against your will. Being bitten by a vampire is obviously sexually coded, and being transformed into a fledgling vampire nonconsensually is a metaphor for a rape. So I’m going to spend this meta talking about nonconsensual turnings interchangeably with rape.

When I read about the dichotomy of victimhood detailed in the original post, the books suddenly shifted in my mind, and I felt like I understood Anne as a writer for the first time. I love these books and their resulting adaptations, but I do believe that Anne had many flawed beliefs, and this insistence that the only proper response to assault is complete and total forgiveness of the perpetrator is certainly one of them. I want to take the theory put forward by the original post one step further, and propose that in addition to imperfect victims, Anne also struggled to write about characters that engaged in sex/vampirism consensually. This feels very Catholic to me; you’re allowed to enjoy sex, but only if you didn’t ask for it. It’s the lust and the longing that’s sinful. It’s this discomfort with consensual desire, along with the insistence that victims must forgive their abusers, that is at the heart of many of the most frustrating aspects of the Vampire Chronicles. It also drives some of the conflict I see in the fandom, and has the potential to impact the TV adaptation in interesting ways. I talk about all of that in detail below the cut:

We can see this central belief about abuse and worthy victims easily in the characters Anne chooses to feature. Lestat, David, and Marius were all turned against their will, but crucially do not linger, protest, or whine once the act is done. Lestat is incapable of holding any kind of grudge, Marius approaches vampirism and eternity with calm stoicism, and David immediately forgives Lestat for turning him against his will.

I think this is key when we try to understand why Anne wanted to replace Louis with David as a companion for Lestat. Louis’s turning is complicated; you get the sense that he did consent to it, even as he tells Daniel that he “can’t say that [he] decided” to become a vampire. And even though he does forgive Lestat at the end of IwtV, the telling of the story in that book is filled with resentment and anger. Louis is not a perfect bastion of forgiveness by any means. Anne talked about how she wanted to move on from the grief that Louis represented and also the passivity he embodies as a character (which she classifies as uniquely feminine, which adds another dimension of meaning to who is allowed to consent to sexual acts and remain angry at abuse) but I also have to assume that she wanted to move on from his anger. Which is actually a huge disservice to Louis, Lestat, and the complexity of the narrative.

The other characters who are turned consensually are all abandoned by the narrative. Madeleine is killed, Gabrielle largely disappears after TVL, Nicki kills himself, and Daniel goes mad and is then simply forgotten.

My love of Daniel is the reason why I started stringing this theory together. Daniel is the most clear-cut case in the entire chronicles of a consenting adult who deeply desires to become a vampire. He has no reservations, no resistance. The Devil’s Minion chapter is unique in that it lingers on Daniel's love and desire. Daniel is briefly allowed to want something unabashedly that is also coded as sinful and evil. And once the consummation of his desire happens, Anne simply doesn’t know how to continue to writing him. Armand’s insistence that fledglings will come to hate their makers seems in some ways to be a result of Anne’s worldview, that desire cannot cannot endure unpunished, rather than something Armand would believe in-universe (he never hated Marius, after all). When fans rail at the way Daniel’s story seems to disappear from the page, this is what we are protesting: Daniel’s desire deserved to be shown, Daniel deserved to evolve, and Daniel’s willingness does not require rebuke.

There is of course another interpretation of the Devil’s Minion chapter, which is that it is Armand playing out his and Marius’s relationship, but this time with Armand in control. In some ways I think the Devil’s Minion chapter is the one successful attempt Anne makes to subvert the cycle of abuse. Yes, Armand is re-enacting many of the things done to him, but Daniel is happy to do this role play with him, at least for a while. While far from perfect, their relationship manages to turn abusive history into present day kink, and exist in a context of mutual care.

Armand himself is probably the most interesting edge case in terms of Anne’s dichotomy of worthy and unworthy victims. He asks to be turned into a vampire, but he’s also a child, which makes his ability to consent unclear. (Whether Anne even believed that child sexual abuse was possible at all is up for debate; she wrote a message on her “fan voice mail” that is still transcribed on her website that defends a convicted pedophile and seems to argue that 14 and 15 year olds are effectively adults and therefore cannot be abused. Yikes yikes yikes.) This kind of uncertainty seems to be reflected in the changing way Anne writes Armand throughout the series. He’s evil at first in the same way that Claudia is evil; a conniving forever child who is smart and vicious enough that what was done to him can be justified. But Anne softened on Armand after Queen of the Damned. As the series goes on, Armand comes to resemble Anne’s perfect victim more and more. He forgives Marius relatively quickly, for instance, for turning Benji and Sybelle without his consent.

For Marius (and Lestat) overcoming victim status also means becoming the abuser, the rapist, the perpetrator of the dark trick. The only way to not be trapped under the cycle of abuse is to perpetrate it. Even though it is hidden in a lot of language about love and forgiveness, this theme is ever present in the Chronicles and to me it’s where the true horror of the books lies.

We see these values begin to be applied to world building and the book’s overarching philosophy more and more as the series progresses. Akasha is the big bad in Queen of the Damned because she represents the ultimate lack of forgiveness. She is angry at all the men in the world for their collective abuses (a world view that seems to originate at least partially from the overly protective and restrictive way Enkil treats her, in my opinion) and seeks to kill them. She is an unquestioned evil, in a way that most characters aren’t in The Chronicles. And Maharet and Mekare, who are much more forgiving towards Khayman, one of the perpetrators of their own rape, are the ones able to defeat Akasha. Forgiveness and grace trumps righteous anger every time.

Memnoch the Devil is an interesting book (even if it is not a *good* one, imo) because it spends its pages interrogating this idea of abuse and forgiveness, but blows it up to a theological scale. Memnoch’s main argument with God is that he lets humans suffer needlessly. Memnoch feels that all that is good and holy amongst humans can be found in the way we love each other and find joy in sex, art, food, and celebration. But God requires humans to suffer through disease and death, and sometimes even violence brought about by religion. When Memnoch is put in charge of hell, he makes souls worthy of heaven by working on them until they are ready to forgive God for the suffering they had to endure during life. That’s what makes you worthy of heaven: forgiveness. I find this so interesting because it almost feels like Anne is arguing with herself over philosophy and religion. Memnoch is very convincing and his belief that joy without guilt is good is given due weight by the narrative. In some ways it’s what these books are about- sensual pleasure without guilt. But on the other hand, Memnoch is the devil (if that- Lestat is never quite sure if he’s really the devil or just a malignant spirit) which means we shouldn’t trust what he says. The idea of God as the ultimate abuser— the person who puts humanity through unspeakable horrors on a wide scale, and then requires our forgiveness in order to find peace— really chimes with the way that Anne writes about abuse in the rest of the series. According to this view, the cycle of abuse is absolutely inescapable. It is decreed by the almighty, and the only way to not be completely crushed by it is to accept its omnipresence and embrace its perpetrators without anger.

This focus on forgiveness is clearly a huge part of Anne’s (and therefore the vampires’) worldview, and I of course find that pretty problematic. But I also think it hurts the reader’s ability to connect to the characters and can have the unfortunate side effect of draining the books of the conflict needed to create a propulsive plot. The vampires’ inclination to completely forgive those who have wronged them, and to not linger at all in any feelings of anger, grief, or resentment, sometimes leads to baffling situations where conflicts that loom large in one book are completely forgotten in the next. The most jarring example of this to me is Armand casually playing chess with Santino in Queen of the Damned. Santino! The vampire who kidnapped him, forced him to eat his best friend, and generally tortured him. And they simply never address this. They just start playing a casual game of chess on Night Island after Akasha has been defeated. Situations like this can make character seem like they are acting completely out of character, and it makes it hard to understand their motives. Yes, there’s the in-universe explanation that time heals all wounds and eventually vampires just live long enough that they can’t hold any grudges. But I still think it’s reasonable to assume that Armand would hesitate before casually engaging with Santino again, no matter how long has passed. This kind of automatic forgiveness also means that we skip over so many conflicts that that would be fascinating to read about. If Armand and Santino really do need to reconcile, I want to see what that looks like. I want to see Armand remember Ricardo when he looks at Santino. I want to see what David and Lestat mending their relationship after Lestat’s violation looks like. But we don’t get any of that and instead the vampires move seamlessly on to something else, which is often much less interesting than these interpersonal conflicts that Anne ignores. And because of that, I think this focus on forgiveness creates books that are less fulfilling than they could be.

I think this focus on forgiveness is also at the heart of some of the conflict I see between book readers and show-only fans. I often see book readers talking about how Armand and Louis come back to each other later in the books, that Louis forgives Armand enough to live with him again for a time. And this makes sense in a book universe that prioritizes forgiveness above all else. In fact it actually signifies positive character growth for Louis, as it means he is becoming closer to Anne’s definition of a worthy victim who can forgive those who wronged him.

Fans of the show insist that the TV version of Louis will never forgive Armand, and for all I know they might be right. The TV show has shown that it’s very capable of taking the events and themes that Anne presented and reframing them. The show is already presenting a more critical depiction of CSA, in my opinion, by doing things like eliminating the incest subtext between Louis and Claudia and making it clear that Marius groomed Armand. I also think the show does a better job of keeping emotional stakes consistent. Louis may forgive Armand, but something more substantial than time passing will have to happen to facilitate that in the TV show. So show Louis may indeed never forgive Armand, given those new parameters.

In its efforts to reframe some of Anne’s themes, I believe the television show is shifting the emphasis on forgiveness slightly. Louis’s arc over the first two seasons depends on him reaching a state of forgiveness, not for an abuser, but for himself. He extends grace to Lestat as part of this process, but I really believe that the catharsis comes from Louis embracing his own failings and his own power, and moving forward with confidence. He has not forgotten his anger or the things that were taken from him, but he has the ability to face the rest of eternity now without self-recrimination. I imagine moving forward that this is going to be a major theme of the show. No matter if you sought vampirism out or had it thrust upon you, you must learn to how to deal with its horrors and its perks. You must learn to embrace your own monstrosity and not shrink from it. And you must find a way to accept the love that those around you are willing to offer, whether or not you always perfectly deserve it. I think these are lessons that Lestat, Armand, and even Daniel have yet to learn in the television show. Those character arcs are going to fuel the show through its coming seasons, and I for one cannot wait to see it unfold.

I’m interested to hear from other readers to see if they picked up on these themes, and how they anticipate the show will adapt them. Please tell me your thoughts! And thank you for reading this far.

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #the vampire chronicles #anne rice #my meta

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