#i am the terror who blogs in the night

[darkwingerduck]

WIP Meme

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous and tag other people. People can ask about the title(s) that most intrigues them!

Tagged by @gothyanki and aw heck, why not, it's been a long time since I've done one of these! Bold of you to assume my WIPs even get their own files, though, let alone their own titles... a number of these were invented right this second:

Getting to Know You

Rumour Has It

so about the brain damage

The Trap (dear god think of a better title)

Blood and Water

idk I just think they're cute

roleswap au

The Stranding (this title is fine for reasons)

so about the alternate dimensions

godlike

No pressure tags for @phthalology, @saltineofswing, @wardensextus, @blackyote !

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I am not the asshole, and I think this whole thing is stupid, but I was promised that if I sent my side of things to this blog I could pick the hotel for our honeymoon, and I am marrying a man who once tried to take me BACKPACKING of all things, so this ask has become a necessity. In light of that:

AITA (I'm NOT) for planning the seating for our wedding in a logical way?

I got engaged in June, apparently in part because of my partner writing in to this blog (I don't know how to find or link to his posts, but I'm the man who got the cat to bite him, if that rings any bells?). At any rate, for the past ten weeks, I've been in the beginning stages of planning our wedding with my fiance, whom I have been secretly attempting to remove from the planning process as much as possible. I have ALREADY been given a list of his must-haves, and I AM incorporating as many of them as our budget allows. This has NOTHING to do with the emotional side of the event, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that this is an idiot with no real planning experience or taste who thinks he knows more than me.

For the most part, this has worked very well. I'm the one who's been collating all the contact information for things, so I just replaced all the emails for the tacky companies with false addresses, responded to his inquiries as the companies to say the date was already booked or the price was outside our budget, and let him filter his way to the ones I DO like on his own. I also made a fuss about being "willing to compromise" on the few things he's picked I'm completely fine with in the hopes I can use it to make him compromise later, and have been humming portions of the songs I want on the playlist in the hopes he'll think he came up with the idea to include them himself.

None of this is the real problem. The PROBLEM is that he is deliberately ruining my seating chart, by moving our horrible friend's seat when I'm not looking.

The man in question dated both of us at one point in our VERY early 20s (both ended BADLY), is generally the messiest person we know, and will almost certainly get sloppy drunk and try to make a speech IF he does make an appearance. I'm banking on the fact that he won't, because he's also ridiculously wealthy, and will almost certainly send us some very lavish gift in lieu of coming.

He is SUPPOSED to be sitting beside my fiances aunt, at the same table as his grandmother, his work friend, and her girlfriend, because all four of these women are stone cold terrors who I believe are more than capable of keeping him in line on the slim chance he does come. My fiance INSISTS they won't be able to have any fun if they're running interference all night, and keeps moving him to sit at the head table instead. You know, where WE are. I finally caught him switching the label magnets on my planning board last night, and confronted him.

I tried leveraging how much I've been compromising already, that he's almost certainly going to RSVP no, and that I shouldn't have to deal with him on our big night. My fiance said he knew about all the fake emailing and such, and told me, and I QUOTE: "Look, the mind game shit was hot when it was just about the colour scheme or whatever, but I actually care about this. So you can suffer with everybody else, or you can do the normal thing and not invite a guy you hate to our wedding, you weirdo."

I said that if I did that, it would take out half his groomsmen, he called me an asshole and said I should go explain this to "literally any rational adult" so they could tell me I was in the wrong, and now here we are.

Would you recommend calling my fiance's bluff, since he doesn't want the man sitting near us either? Or should I focus on ensuring he'll turn down the invitation no matter what, so the matter of where he WON'T be sitting can be a moot point?

What are these acronyms?

Original post

The update

[asgards-princess-of-mischief]

Last Updated: 2024-05-30

Disclaimer: I am not the author of these stories, just sharing my favourite BBC!Sherlock Holmes stories. Find the authors' links below. If you want your work removed, message me privately.

Legend: 〔E〕 ⇢ Erotic/Steamy | 〔F〕 ⇢ Fluff | 〔A〕 ⇢ Angst/Hurt 〔M〕 ⇢ Minor Angst/Hurt | 〔C〕 ⇢ Comfort | ♥︎ ⇢ Established Relationship | 𑁍 ⇢ Pregnancy/Children | 🚫 ⇢ Content Warning

✑ A Week Early￨Prt. II￨Prt. III by prettyxlittlexwriter • 〔F᜶C〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

Summary: You and Sherlock are having your first children; who've thought the famously emotionless detective would be such an anxious father.

✑ A Little Love and Lots of Laughs by eurusholmmes • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

Summary: "It's been five years since you met Sherlock Holmes, four since you fell in love, and three since you married. [Now], you have [two children] who... happen to love picnics, swimming and spending time with their cousin Rosie and Uncle John."

✑ Absence of You by lykaonimagines • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "[You're] away on a mission…, leaving Sherlock to wrestle mentally with his importance in [your] life and how badly he wants [you] home."

✑ Always Attract by luxwritesfanfic • 〔F᜶M〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "The strobe lights won't stop blinding him and Sherlock can't seem to shake the feeling that he's missing out, until he realizes he isn't."

✑ Bedside Manner by luxwritesfanfic • 〔F᜶A〕 •

Summary: "Sherlock figures out who the father is and [a cat's got your] tongue."

✑ Brother, Annoying Brother by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 〔F〕 •

Summary: Sherlock's, once again, struggling to express feelings, refusing to admit he fancies you. Luckily, Mycroft knows just how to get him to confess.

✑ Champagne Problems by leftperfectionmoon • 〔A᜶C〕 •

Summary: reader turns down her boyfriend when he proposes to her as she has been in love with sherlock all this time.

✑ Closed for Today by coppercatswrites • 〔F᜶C〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: Sherlock closes shop to take care of you while you're sick.

✑ Date Night by writefortherain-blog • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: It had been a while since you and Sherlock had a day off…

✑ Don't Let Me Cave In by luxwritesfanfic • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

Summary: Sherlock'll never get away from the sound of the women that love him and it brings more peace to him than he could ever imagine he could possess.

✑ Don't You Dare Say "I'm Sorry" by prettyxlittlexwriter • 〔M〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

Summary: "Sherlock Holmes had sparred with many an intimidating nemesis. He'd faced off against the most fierce, twisted, cold, hard, calculating, fearful opponents known to man, however none of adversaries that had come before had invoked such terror and panic as the one he was currently staring down."

✑ Emotions and Experiments by writings-of-a-british-fangirl • 〔F〕 •

Summary: …

✑ Exact Opposite by lykaonimagines • 16+ • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "When his brother still refuses to get dressed and take the case he has for him seriously, Mycroft calls [you in] to handle the situation."

✑ Expectant by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 〔F᜶M〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

Summary: "[You're] acting strange, and Sherlock notices. [After] confessing the truth and... He struggles to find the words."

✑ Feeling is Mutual, the by classickook • 〔F᜶A〕 •

Summary: "You've been harbouring a crush on Sherlock for quite some time now but are determined to keep it a secret for as long as [possible]. Foolish of you to think he wouldn't figure it out... and maybe he'll even return your sentiment?"

✑ Game is On, the by classickook • 18+ • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "You have a little surprise for Sherlock that turns out differently than you had originally planned."

✑ Good Girl by all-fandoms-fiction • 18+ • 〔E᜶F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "..."

✑ Headache by bewarethecrazyperson • 〔F᜶C〕 • 🚫 •

Summary: "...While it was rare for you to get a proper headache, it wasn't unfamiliar for you or the boys when one resurfaced. They usually let you be, knowing that rest, medication and sleep would usually take care of the problem. [However,] what happens when you accidentally take one of Sherlock's pills?"

✑ Holmes, the by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 〔F〕 •

Summary: When Sherlock's parents invite you to dinner, mistaking you for his girlfriend, it pushes their son to finally tell you how he feels.

✑ If You're Shy (Let Me Know) by classickook • 18+ • 〔E᜶M᜶F〕 •

Summary: "When Irene won't stop teasing you about your lack of experience, Sherlock comes to your defence and maybe even proves the woman wrong."

✑ Ignorance and Lunch Dates by thepokyone • 〔M᜶F〕 •

Summary: "Sherlock was clever. Everybody knew that - especially you, considering you had been friends with him since high school. Being friends with Sherlock had its pros, but it also had its cons."

✑ Kidnapped by prettyxlittlexwriter • 〔A〕 • ♥︎ • 🚫 •

Summary: {…}

✑ Kissing Advice by imagine-by-susu • 〔A᜶C〕 •

Summary: When Irene taunts Sherlock with his sexual inexperience, the detective seeks out your advise on the matter. However, the situation does go quite how Sherlock hoped…

✑ Let's Have Dinner￨Prt. II by classickook • 〔A〕 •

Summary: "as Sherlock's neighbor and friend, you've spent quite a bit of time with the detective and developed feelings for him. unfortunately for you, however, his heart belongs to another."

✑ Make Up by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 18+ • 〔E〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: Although you never enjoy fighting with Sherlock, you love making up afterwards.

✑ Nicknames by leftperfectionmoon • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "4 times you used nicknames for Sherlock."

✑ On Edge￨Prt. II by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 18+ • 〔E〕 •

Summary: "Sherlock has no cases and John forbid him to smoke... [leading] Sherlock to find other ways to take out his frustration and, at the same time, showing [you] what it's like to be on edge."

✑ Other Woman, the by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 18+ • 〔F᜶A〕 •

Summary: {…}

✑ Rest of Our Lives￨Prt. II by lykaonimagines • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "Sherlock returns home late after a week long case, and contemplates the current state of their relationship."

✑ Safe Space by lykaonimagines • 〔A᜶C〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "During an argument over one of Sherlock's experiments, [you realize] some events in his life have impacted him more than he usually let on."

✑ Talking Out Loud by high-functioning-lokipath • 〔F᜶M〕 •

✑ Tipsy by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: When John and Sherlock return to the flat, absolutely smashed, it's up to you and Mrs. Hudson to ensure they're looked after.

✑ Waltz by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 〔F〕 •

Summary: {…}

✑ White Lillies by leftperfectionmoon • 〔F〕 •

Summary: You mistakenly confess you feelings to Sherlock, as it happens his reaction is rather sweet.

✑ Woman, the by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "[You] enters 221B and instantly notices the smell of another woman's perfume. [You realize] it's Irene Adler who is [trying] to convince Sherlock that she is a better woman for him."

✑ Woman Who Was No Lady, the by whereiputtheotherstuff • 〔F᜶A〕 •

Summary: A tense conversation with Irene Adler makes Sherlock realize something extraordinary about you.

✑ Why Do I Want to Do This Again by imagine-by-susu •

Summary: "..."

✑ You Don't Know Him Like I Do by classickook • 〔C〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "You're sick and tired of constantly hearing insults thrown at Sherlock about how he handles his emotions."

✑ Your Stupid Face by gaitwae • 〔F〕 •

Summary: "Sherlock is too proud to admit to anybody he likes you, but John knows."

✑ Affirmation by eurusholmmes • 〔A᜶C〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ All Day by classickook • 〔E᜶F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Ambiguity of Man by gaitwae • 〔M᜶F〕 •

✑ Announcement, the by writings-of-a-british-fangirl • 〔M〕 •

✑ Bad Day by oneshots-imagines-and-that • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Bagels by quillsandcauldroncakes • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

✑ Birds and Bathtubs by deerstalkersanddangerousthoughts • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Blissful Morning by writings-of-a-british-fangirl • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Boring Days, the by thepokyone • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Cuddling? Cuddling. by writings-of-a-british-fangirl • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Dating and Doctors by writings-of-a-british-fangirl • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Do Something! by galactic-academia • 〔F〕 •

✑ Enjoy the Show Brother by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ F*ck It by coppercatswrites • 18+ • 〔E〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ I Love You by imagine-by-susu • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Jaw Kisses by eurusholmmes • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Keep Breathing by eurusholmmes • 〔F᜶C〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Lying Detective, the by deerstalkersanddangerousthoughts • 〔A〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Made for Each Other by leftperfectionmoon • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Measurements by classickook • 〔C〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Morning Light by lykaonimagines • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Move in with Me? by imagine-upon-a-star • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Never Stood a Chance by luxwritesfanfic • 〔E᜶F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ New Family by magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ No Flirting by leftperfectionmoon • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Not on the Couch by imagine-by-susu • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Our First Kiss by eurusholmmes • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Our Little Game by justauthoring • 〔F〕 •

✑ Psychology of Cute by oneshots-imagines-and-that • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Resurrection by moonlightsong • 〔A᜶F〕 •

✑ Rewritten Memory by gaitwae • 〔F〕 •

✑ Safe in Your Arms by classickook • 〔F᜶C〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Stressed by generallynerdy • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Tease by classickook • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Tell It Like It Is by prettyxlittlexwriter • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ There's No One Else For You by all-fandoms-fiction • 〔M〕 •

✑ These Words Of Mine by eurusholmmes • 〔A〕 •

✑ Thinking Out Loud by quillsandcauldroncakes • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Wake Up by scribblesandimaginings • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Wedding Day by prettyxlittlexwriter • 〔F᜶C〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Why Did You Kiss Me? by writings-of-a-british-fangirl • 〔F〕 •

✑ Babysitting Rosie w/ Sherlock... by writings-of-a-british-fangirl • 〔F〕 • 𑁍 •

✑ Being Sherlock's Pregnant Wife... by tessimagines • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

✑ Cuddling w/ Sherlock... by spilledkauffie • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Dating Sherlock Holmes… by dragon-kazansky • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Dating Sherlock Holmes... by spilledkauffie • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

See Also: Navigation || BBC!Sherlock Master Index

Authors: @all-fandoms-fiction || @bewareofthecrazyperson || @classickook || @coppercatwrites || @deerstalkersanddangerousthoughts || @dragon-kazansky || @eurusholmmes || @gaitwae || @galactic-academia || @generallynerdy || @high-functioning-lokipath || @imagine-by-susu || @imagine-upon-a-star || @justauthoring || @leftperfectionmoon || @luxwritesfanfic || @lykaonimagines || @magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics || @moonlightsong || @oneshots-imagines-and-that || @prettyxlittlexwriter || @quillsandcauldroncakes || @scribblesandimaginings || @spilledkauffie || @tessimagines || @thepokyone || @whereiputtheotherstuff || @writefortherain-blog || @writings-of-a-british-fangirl ||

[joydemorra]

Do you ever start something as a joke and lose complete control over your life?

In a world of dwindling hope, love has never mattered more... [read the full blurb here]

What is Hunger Pangs?

Hunger Pangs, often shortened to “Phangs” by the self-proclaimed phangdom, is my debut romance novel, published in Nov 2020, featuring a deaf, disabled werewolf, a neurodivergent, mad scientist vampire, and an all-powerful enchantress who is the last of her kind.

It is the first book in a slow-burn, polyamorous gaslamp fantasy romance series focusing on the relationship(s) and antics of the three main characters, Nathan Northland, Vlad Blutstein, and Lady Ursula, as they work to save the world they love from imminent magical and ecological disaster.

The first book primarily focuses on the relationship between Nathan and Vlad, with Ursula heavily alluded to in the next book (Pride and Folly) via some shameless flirting and stolen, impulsive kisses.

No love triangles here. Just three highly competent, world-saving bisexuals sharing the same brain cell the closer they get to each other.

There are two editions of the novel. The Flirting with Fangs edition depicts on-page sexual acts, and the Fluff and Fangs edition which uses alternative scenes/fade-to-black scenes for those who prefer not to read depictions of sex. You can read more about why I decided to do this here.

How Did Phangs come to be?

Like most things on my blog, the original concept began as a joke. My friend and enabler, @jeneelestrange, and I were talking about our least favorite tropes in romance/erotica, including but not limited to toxic “alpha” werewolves, brooding stalker vampire boyfriends, and the absolute profound bullshit that is the Conflicted Love Triangle and Bury Your Gays.

Eventually, it culminated in this post:

(source)

It was meant to be a joke. I really cannot emphasize this enough. It was meant to be a shitpost between friends.

A throwaway ADHD impulse.

Tumblr, however, wanted more of these posts, and like a swarming mass of drift-compatible rats in a trench coat, grabbed hold of my lack of impulse control and Ratatouille'd me into becoming an international bestselling author, and, well, here we are.

I also started writing the series while dying, which I highly do not recommend as a functional creative process.

Absolutely do not start a 500k five-part novel series about love and hope while dying from an undiagnosed genetic disorder. Or if you do, make sure you actually die so you don't have to edit the damn thing. (I am mostly kidding.)

What are the themes/tropes/character dynamics of the book?

In the simplest of terms, Phangs is a queer-polyamorous-paranormal-satirical-romance series featuring vampires, werewolves, and all other manner of creatures that go bump in the night.

It is set in a pseudo-regency meets fake-Victorian Gaslamp Fantasy world, complete with gothic castles, enchanted forests, and just a smidge of industrial coal dust.

Style-wise, Phangs has been described by readers as "like reading the queer, goth love child of Terry Pratchett meets Jane Austen," and I've never been more proud of anything in my life.

If Game of Thrones ascribes to the idea that the night is dark and full of terrors, Phangs is the monster-fucker politely sidling up to them at the bar and asking if they can buy them a drink.

It is also primarily a love letter to fandom, which has led some people to believe it’s fanfiction with the serial labels filed off. But as the person who spent five years agonizing over the world-building, I can assure you this is all very much the product of my weird little ADHD brain picking up tropes, shaking them upside down, and running off with whatever fun and interesting things shake loose.

As already stated, the first book, True Love Bites, focuses primarily on the relationship between Captain Nathaniel J. Northland and Viscount Vlad Blutstein.

The first part of the book primarily focuses on Nathan coming home injured from war and trying to find his place in the world as newly deaf and disabled -- something which alienates him from his werewolf family, who don't know what to do with an injury that can't be mended by a full moon.

While working on the island of Eyrie, he encounters Viscount Blutstein -- Vlad-- a neurodivergent, mad scientist dandy vampire with an enthusiasm for demonic botany and a streak of unfailing kindness as broad and expansive as the sky.

It's not so much love at first sight for the pair as instantaneous lust hampered by the restrictions of polite 1880 society and old ingrained prejudices that make them think the other couldn't possibly be interested in them that way. They're just misreading all those heartfelt stares and sexually charged chess games.

(The love is requited, your honor, they're just idiots.)

Both characters are explicitly queer/mspec, as is Ursula, who drops into their world like a magical atom bomb going off, but not before she spends her own parts of the book desperately trying to figure out what manner of dark entity is killing the magical shrines around the world that keep the world alive.

Thematically, the series touches on many things, but the book’s overriding theme is love. Romantically, of course, and love between families, both found or otherwise. But also love as an act of courage. As a choice. An act of defiance in dark and troubling times, and what it means to be loved and belong even though you’re different.

Especially when you’re different.

And I really fucking hope you enjoy it.

To read the full synopsis and check out the heat ratings, buy links and content tags, go to www.joydemorra.com

[jasntodds]

Penace [5]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 13,401

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, panic attack (jason), ptsd (jason), hurt/comfort, mention of scars

Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update!! I had a bunch of stuff going on last month and stuff happened and I just did not have the mental capacity to edit this chapter. I'm so sorry!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

The next morning rolls around leaving Jason to wake up first. You're still sound asleep facing him, some of your hair covering your face. Jason takes a tentative finger and moves some of the strands from your face. He takes this time to exist. Sleep always came easier when you were around. Less nightmares, not as much tossing and turning, no insomnia. It was always easier with you around and last night was no different.

You fell asleep first just as you usually did when he read to you. You were cuddled into his side and it felt like it always did for that half hour. Just the two of you in bed together with a book and enough trauma for the both of you. Jason thinks you're both really good at being able to exist in a moment as if nothing happened. There's something in you that allows you both to ignore it all even for a few minutes and just pretend to be who you were before instead of just skin and bones.

The world, people, expect you both to be something specific, to act a certain way. You told him once, in a sort of one-off conversation, you felt like people expected something different. At the tower, you always felt like the others expected you to remain quiet or be angry all the time, to snap at some point. Maybe you did. But, your blood was never filled with anger but grief for what you should have been able to have. When Jason died and you got angry, they expected the silence. They expected the grief to hit you like a train. They expected you to quit, get revenge on the Joker before Bruce did. They expected more than rage-filled blood and red-stained hands. And they expected you to move on because what else was there to do? He was dead. And you were alone. People put up expectations and in some ways you feel like you need to meet some of them. Be more careful, get angry, snap, pretend like it's all fine because it's always been fine. But, then you lay down with Jason and you can watch movies and talk about your mom and you can exist in a way that you want without the weight of expectations collapsing your lungs.

Everyone thinks Jason is angry, always has even before he died. He was never angry. He was upset and hurt and didn't know where to put it. He was never angry but everyone expected him to be so he played into it. They expected him to be some sort of fuck boy so he played into it. They expected him to be reckless and so he was. Maybe he was always a little reckless, no one forced him to rob the Batmobile or go with the red hoods when he was a teenager. But they expect it. And now...Jason can feel it. They expect him to lose his mind and until then, they expect him to be fine. He lived, right? Joker is dead, Bruce avenged his death, and he was brought back. He should be fine, right?

They expect him to be fine without ever considering the scars lingering on his chest or marking up his mind like scuffed up wood. But with you, there are no expectations. He is allowed to read and tell you about theater stuff. He is allowed to have nightmares and be scared. He is allowed to just be. When Jason is around you, he's allowed to exist in a way that he wants without the weight of expectations strangling the life out of him.

Maybe that's why you can exist in moments like these as if nothing ever happened. It is the only time neither of you are facing some false hope of expectations. It is the only time you both can be damaged in all your glory. It is the only time you're allowed to bear your scars with pride and show the beauty they've left behind. You can just...be.

He eyes you softly, brows pinched together and you look so peaceful. He wants nothing more than to pull you into him and sleep like this all day. But it is not his place. He's surprised you stayed in the first place let alone stayed in bed with him. He is so glad you did but there is so much you haven't talked about. So much happened and there's just so much between you. He wonders if you'll ever be able to recover or if this is all you'll be. Just a one-off sleepover sometimes.

He doesn't like that idea very much.

Jason forces himself to get out of bed and make his way to the training area where he keeps his fridge. He expects to be able to grab a few eggs and make an omelet, see what else he has and maybe he could make you (and Tim) pancakes. But, as he enters the room, Tim is seated at the table with a tablet open and his brows pinched together.

"Oh, hey." Tim chimes, offering Jason a wave and a glance before he looks back to the tablet. "I made toast and a pot of coffee." Tim explains.

Jason scratches his head before he shakes it and fully enters the room. "Right, yeah, okay." Jason clears his throat, trying to get rid of the sleep still etched in his tone. "Did you even fucking sleep?"

"Yeah, of course." Tim brushes the question, voice still chipper and a part of it reminds Jason of how Gar usually was at the tower. "Early riser."

"A roof fell on top of you last night." Jason states as he walks over to the coffee pot seeing about a quarter of a cup left. He lets out a sigh before he dumps the pot in the sink and starts a fresh pot.

"Oh, yeah but I'm fine." Tim shakes it off.

Jason can almost hear your voice in his head telling him to push for an answer. A roof fell on top of him and his boyfriend is in a coma. Jason does not buy for a single second that he's simply an early riser. No one is an early riser with this job, not if you want more than three hours of sleep a night. It would be responsible of him to ask Tim if he were okay.

"Seriously, you alright?" Jason asks as he leans against the table to face Tim.

Tim looks up at him and while he knew some of Jason before, this is different. The most of Jason he knows is actually Red Hood related. You didn't talk a lot about him when you hung out and he only spoke to Jason a handful of times, usually about his order at Excellent Gotham. There wasn't much said about Bruce Wayne's newest son. Instead, he knows Red Hood is ruthless, brutal, and scary. He is intimidating and will kill someone if need be. He knows Red Hood almost got his dad killed and almost got you killed and got Dick killed. His association with Crane got him killed. Tim knows Red Hood is someone he wants on his side because if he's not, that could be for the worst.

But, he's looking at Jason Todd who happens to be Red Hood and in this moment he doesn't feel like any of those things. He feels like he did when you introduced him. Normal. Calm. Nice. Tim knew there was more to Red Hood. Not only did he meet Jason and he trusts your general opinion of people, but Tim doesn't believe anyone is as two-dimensional as they may seem. Yet, some part of him almost feels surprised with Jason asking if he's okay but it doesn't feel like it's out of obligation. Instead, it feels like he might actually be genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine." Tim answers. "Just..." Tim lets out a breath. "Gar said they haven't made any progress with Bernard. And I'm here..." Tim trails off. "Almost getting crushed by a roof and getting trained by you and y/n."

Jason pushes off the table as the coffee pot dings. "You've only been here like two days." Jason states as he makes his way back over to the coffee. "How'd it happen?" Jason asks as he starts to pour himself a cup, making sure to leave enough for you.

"Some video game thing that Brother Blood released." Tim groans. "No one knows how to get anyone out of their comas."

"Look," Jason starts as he walks back over to Tim. "That fucking sucks, alright? But, you and the Titans will figure it out. You're a genius, man." Jason lets out this scoff that comes out as a chuckle. "The way I see it, all those people and Bernard are lucky to have you looking out for 'em."

"Yeah, except I suck at this." Tim lets out a groan, tilting his head back. "I mean, Dick was...incredible. He was so good at this whole thing and he still is. And then you took over and you were just as great." Tim pauses for a few seconds as Jason watches the defeat start to wash over his features. "How am I supposed to live up to that when I can't even get any intel on this guy? When I can't even figure out a damn video game?!"

"Didn't you choose to be Robin?" Jason asks.

"Yeah but y/n said—"

"I died as Robin." Jason cuts him off because it doesn't matter what you said or didn't say. Jason knows Tim is going to be great at this. "Don't take what she says to heart too much. Her viewpoint of Robin will always be tainted because I died. Because it involved Bruce. You chose this, man." Jason points a finger at him. "No one else is crazy enough to do that, not after me. But you did. That means something. Don't get in your head about it, alright? You're smart as fuck and you're capable."

"But what if I was wrong?" Tim asks knowing it takes a special kind of confidence to not only volunteer to be Robin following Dick and Jason but to have the confidence he could do it.

"Dick wouldn't have asked you to be Robin if he thought you were." Jason says it so simply. "We were trained by Bruce for months before we put on the mask and cape, just remember that." Jason states as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"Thank you." Tim offers a soft smile. "Didn't think you'd be the pep talk kind of guy."

"I'm not." Jason lets out a booming cackle. "So don't go telling people I am."

Tim lets out a soft laugh before he locks the tablet. "She still sleeping?" He decides not to push his luck and changes subject, surprised not to see Sam yet.

Jason nods softly. "Yeah, letting her sleep."

"She doesn't sleep a lot, that's what Gar said...that Molly said."

"Yeah..." Jason pulls in a breath as his heart starts to break. "Comes with the job sometimes." Jason only half-lies.

"She's sleeping now." Tim gains a cheeky smile.

"Shut up." Jason groans and he not getting into any of that with Tim. Nope. "Did you want something more than toast?" Jason immediately changes subject before Tim can try to return the pep talk favor for relationship advice. "Toast is a shit breakfast." Jason puts his Wonder Woman mug down before he gets up.

Tim offers a chuckle. "Uh...yeah, I could eat something else."

Jason looks through some cabinets and the fridge. "Omelet or pancakes?"

"Omelet?" Tim questions softly. "Didn't think I'd have an option." Tim did not thnk Jason could really cook, given the whole eggs, beer, and cheese comment.

"Was making both anyway." Jason retorts. He's just trying to be nice.

Tim lets out a laugh. "Oh, I get it."

"If you don't shut up, we won't train today." Jason almost wants to shut his head in the fridge door with his comment. Who the fuck is he? Dick? Gar? Ugh.

Meanwhile, you're finally stirring awake to an empty and cold bed. Your hand reaches over and you feel the spot where Jason was is cold. Your eyes peek open to see he's no longer there or even in the room. It's not that you should have expected him to be you think but there's a part of you that's still disappointed. Somewhere in your head you almost hoped you'd wake up together and you'd have one of your awkward realizations together. You'd stumble over yourselves and your words but it'd feel like home. It'd be warm and comfortable anyway. And then you'd find your footing where it almost felt safest, in the mix of bantering and flirting. But, he's gone. You're not sure that feeling is something you'd ever be able to get used to.

But, you get up anyway, stretching before you get out of bed. You grab one of Jason's hoodies from the table, tugging it over your head as you walk out of the room. You head to the room with the fridge that you're not sure you should really call a kitchen since there's all the training equipment in there, too. Why is he like this?

As you get closer, you hear Jason's laughter bouncing off the walls. Your heart skips a beat and you don't even notice the way the corners of your mouth perk up into a tender smile. You pause just to listen for a few seconds while his laughter subsides and he goes on with his story. He tells Tim some story about a fight with the Riddler and how mad he was. You've heard the story before but hearing him talk so casually and lightly about his Robin days makes you want to burst.

In the few times you've talked of Robin, there's been a sense of bitterness and sadness surrounding the mantle but now he's laughing and joking. He has stories that aren't tied with grief and pain. Robin always meant the entire world to him and you're so happy he seems to still have some of that joy telling the stories. You think maybe he is getting better. Maybe Leslie really is helping him again.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Jason quips as you walk into the room.

You clear your throat sarcastically. "Get fucked."

Jason flips you off with a tender smile while Tim lets out a laugh.

"Guess I won't make you pancakes then." Jason shrugs dramatically and you know it's a hollow threat but it is also not a chance you're willing to take.

Your eyes narrow slightly before a smile comes to your lips again. "Do not get fucked."

Jason tilts his head and lets out a laugh. "Dunno, think it'll help?"

You shake your head. "You are a bit uptight."

"Look who's fucking talking." Jason waves the spatula at her.

"I am so not uptight." You laugh as you take a seat beside Tim.

"Well." Tim adds in with a shake of his head and the scrunch of his nose.

"The fuck does that mean, Tim?" Your eyes widen at him.

Tim's eyes widen slightly back at her before he quickly looks to Jason. He might help him with Robin but if he wants to go back and forth with you on this front, that's all him. Jason will let him sink. He knows exactly which side he should always be on and it's wherever you are.

"You're on your own." Jason chimes, waving a spatula in the air as he turns back to the stove, the first batch of pancakes already on the burner.

"Nothing." Tim shakes his head with a smile.

"Right." You laugh softly as you roll your eyes.

Jason walks over with a mug in hand. He hands it off to you and your brows quickly raise seeing it's your Supergirl mug from the manor. You packed and moved but forgot the mug. While things aren't...bad per se, between you and Bruce, you did not go back for anything you forgot and you almost laugh. You may not have gone back but clearly Jason at the very least took your mug, likely with the intention to give it to Molly to give to you.

"Thank you." You hold your mug up to him as he goes to walk away.

"You're welcome." Jason gives you a bright and cheeky smile.

"So, what're we going today?" You ask the boys while Jason finishes breakfast.

"I really got to find this Venta guy and get back." Tim states.

"Figure we'll eat, train a bit, then help Tim here try to get some intel." Jason explains, finishing the pancakes before he moves onto the omelets.

"Sounds good." You suck in a breath, pulling out your phone to send a quick text to Molly to let her know you're awake and what the plan is.

Jason finishes up your breakfast before joining you and Tim at the table with three plates in hand, a delicate balancing act on his way. Tim offers a quick thank you before digging in, the toast clearly not holding him over too well. You offer Jason a tender smile before you dig in. Your chest warms and your skin bursts with goosebumps knowing Jason made pancakes for you.

Jason offers such a specific type of subtle kindness that seems to be overlooked by a lot of people. It's not so much in his words which after all this time, you figured out it's just because he's not too good at expressing himself most of the time. For him, actions say everything that gets caught in his throat. And it's not just with you he does it with. Bruce preferred his omelet differently and Jason never even asked, he always just made an extra one with the things Bruce liked. Gar mentioned he was looking for a few Saga comics and Jason found them and shipped them to Titans tower just because he could. He always offers to help Molly with anything she's working on. He extends his kindness with actions just to display how much he cares about the people who offer him the same kindness.

You think it's one of your favorite things about him.

The three of you finish up your food and get changed for training. The three of you take your time stretching and getting ready to allow your food to settle a little. Training starts just as it did yesterday, Jason taking the first round and then you. Tim still doesn't stand a chance but you and Jason can already see some improvement the longer you train which comes as a big relief. 

After training, the three of you get suited up and head out, deciding to go to the marina this time. Tim rides with you, hoping to find something out tonight. He feels like he's running out of time. Meanwhile, you and Jason are looking to see how he does not in a training room with a safety net. A roof fell on him last night and he seems incredibly unbothered. To you, it only feels right to have him out on the streets anyway, even if it's under false pretenses. So, while you're "looking" for Venta or trying to get intel on him, you're also patrolling, showing Tim the ropes, teaching him the art of grappling between buildings. This is all just more training, making sure he'll be safe out there in the open without the security blanket of you and Jason or the Titans or being in one location. Jason and you think Tim will be just fine. He's smart and capable, he pays attention. This is not a game to him.

It matters.

It always mattered to Dick and Jason, too but it's different with Tim. Bruce offered Robin to Dick and Jason. They were his sons. Batman and Robin. They had months and months of training and while it was hard and brutal at times, there was something that felt magical about the whole thing. It felt surreal. With Tim, it's as if he feels he is obligated to fill the role. Unlike Dick and Jason, Tim chose it and there's somehow more pressure in that for him to prove himself. Tim is generally someone who can focus on things that are important and serious, but this is different. It is his life. It's the life of innocent people. He's having fun, sure, but he's taking it even more seriously than Jason and Dick ever did. It doesn't help he's trying to fill their shoes, something Jason does understand.

After hours of looking and patrolling, you don't turn anything up and head back to Jason's. Tim is incredibly disappointed by his inability to find anything out but you and you assure him that if Venta were in town or if anyone knew anything, they would have spilled with the two of you being around anyway. Between the three of you, someone would have told you some sort of information. You both remind him how easy it was to get information from the people you did question about other cases. Some people are harder but getting intel on one person rarely ever results in no answers. The reassurance does make Tim feel a little bit better about it.

While Tim is feeling a bit better and you're confident in his abilities, feeling pretty good actually, the case is not the same for Jason. Some days are just better than others and today is not one of those days. Waking up with you was refreshing but he's finding that to be the best part of his day because Tim put on the Robin suit. Jason isn't mad or bitter about it. It has nothing to do with it but something about it is causing him anxiety. Something about seeing Tim in the suit, or maybe just another rendition of the suit, makes him want to explode and run and cry and scream. He's been biting it down all day because it's his problem not Tim's. He hates it but something about it is pulling him back to Amusement Mile. Something about it is pulling him back to the anti-fear drug and Cran'e reign. Something about it is making him feel so small and useless. He thought he was making progress but you're back at his home and he's never felt so disconnected from everything. He thinks it's so dumb to feel upset and panicky over this.

He swears it's fine.

"I'm gonna shower." Jason clears his throat before excusing himself to head off to his bedroom as quickly as he can, trying not to raise any alarms.

Your eyes linger on the doorway. Jason might as well have run out of the door with how quickly he excused himself. You heard a slight tremble in his voice. It was sharper than usual and his steps weren't as light as they usually are.

"Is he okay?" Tim asks as he walks over to grab the suitcase for his suit.

You look back at Tim and nod once. During your patrol, you could tell something switched. Jason's been in a good mood and pretty casual about everything, generally speaking. Being in a good mood and things going well always seemed to poke a hole into his head a bit. And today, out there doing your thing, he was quieter, more focused. He's always focused but this was laserlike almost and you're supposed to be helping Tim. You'd make some sort of quip and all you'd get is a disguised chuckle from behind his helmet. If you know anything, it's knowing Jason Todd is in fact, not fine.

"Yeah, no I'm sure he's fine." You brush it off, figuring you'll check on him in a few minutes. "I kept him up pretty late so he's just tired, probably." You nod again, Tim not buying any of it.

"He was up before you were." Tim states as he walks back over to you with his case. "It's not my business, just..." Tim shrugs dramatically, showing genuine concern for Jason's well-being.

Your eyes go to your boots and then back to him. "Yeah, uh...yeah." You nod your head. "I'll check on him in a few minutes. I'm sure he's fine, Tim." You offer him a fake smile.

Jason's head is spinning while his arms are practically vibrating themselves from his body. His muscles are going so weak he can barely turn the water on for a shower. The air is thick and stale through his lungs, burning with every breath. His stomach twists and his eyes start to water despite his best efforts to stop it. The world around him starts to feel like it's closing in and suffocating the life from his lungs. The shower pelts the porcelain flooring, he swears he can hear you and Tim talking and walking from down the hall. His heartbeat is radiating through his ear canals and the passing cars sound like they might drive right through his new home. Everything is growing louder and louder and the thoughts start to kick in. They take a battering ram to the walls and that's when he can't even bear to stand anymore.

Jason carries the heartbreak of death on his shoulders and it is crushing every part of him.

Tim leaves you to go change and you follow his lead, heading for a bathroom. You take your time, giving Jason enough time to gather himself if he needs to before you go to check on him. And for a second, you almost even second-guess it. You haven't spoken in a month and a half, you're just now trying this whole friend thing, is it really your place? When Tim leaves, will you just go back to not talking with no obligation in the middle of you? What if you're wrong anyway? Maybe Jason has changed a little bit in this time and maybe he was just more focused because a roof fell on all of you yesterday. You run yourself in circles, not wanting to overstep and mind his space. Jason always liked his personal space, maybe a little too much but you don't want to intrude. You always felt like you were just intruding in people's lives, a mismatched puzzle piece trying to make yourself fit. It's not what you want to do to him.

Being around him was one of the only places you felt like you belonged. And Jason was the one that always made you feel that way.

You make your way to Jason's room once you're in your regular clothes because you can't bear not to check on him. He would do it for you and you know him. Despite it all, you're certain you always know when something isn't quite right with him. So, you make your way to his room and let yourself inside, shutting the door behind you.

You can hear the shower echoing from the en suite bathroom. The door is closed but you're relieved that he's in the shower and not losing his entire mind in his bed. You look around his room some more and you wonder what else he plans to do with it. You think it must feel more like a home than the manor did. Back at the Tower, he had some stuff on the walls that he picked up because the room was his. He graffitied the walls. It was his and it felt like his. But, the room in the manor still had a poster of the Flying Graysons. Jason didn't decorate the walls, something that always made you sad because it should have felt like a home to him. You never asked but you wondered why it didn't. It couldn't have just been Bruce because of how Jason views him. So, you wonder if it was because maybe he didn't think he deserved the manor or maybe it was that he felt like a replacement and someone else would come in to replace him anyway. Maybe it was a safety precaution for his own feelings of being left behind. You aren't sure but you hope this place feels like a home and he gets to decorate his walls.

The shower is still echoing through the door but you can hear the water clearly, no disturbance or movement. Your brows pull together as you make your way to the bathroom and knock softly. You don't get any answer and you don't hear any movement behind the door.

"Jay?" You ask as you knock louder this time. A lump forms in your throat while your heartbeat starts to spike. Your stomach burns and your teeth grit together. You remember the day on the roof. "Jason, are you okay?" You call again and don't get anything in response.

Your hand goes to the door handle and you pause for a second. And it's just a second before you open the door slowly. You carefully peek your head around the door, your eyes landing on the walk-in shower. The frosted glass door is open while water ricochets onto the white tile floor. And then there's Jason. He's seated, fully clothed in the shower, his knees are tugged to his chest while his arms are wrapped entirely around his shins. His head is buried in his knees and all you can do is shake your head in devastation.

You walk inside and close the distance between you. You keep your stance from outside of the shower, trying to mind his personal space.

"Jay?" You try again and you get nothing from him. It's as if he doesn't even register you in the room which might be one of the biggest red flags when it comes to Jason Todd. He is nothing but on guard.

You walk back to the door and shut it, just in case. Then you kick off your shoes and tug your hoodie off your head before you close the distance between you again. This time, you enter the shower, immediately getting pelted by warm water as you kneel down right in front of him.

"Jay, hey." You call his name again but this time, your hands are delicate and careful as you put them on his cheeks. He jumps immediately, head hooting up with eyes terrified and red. He looks panicked for just a few seconds until his brain catches up with what he's seeing. Your teeth grind together seeing the look of pain across his face. It's written in every line and feature you'd fallen so in love with over the last year. Your hands come to his cheeks again, just as tender as they were before and he doesn't even flinch this time. "What's going on?" You ask softly. Jason shakes his head against your hands and his eyes dodge yours and he feels embarrassed and exposed. Of course, you'd find him.

You always find him.

You always see him.

"It's you and me." Your voice is careful as your thumbs run over his skin. "I'm worried about you. What happened?" You brush the white streak of hair from his face.

"Loud." Jason's voice comes out hoarse and small and his bottom lip trembles. It takes every muscle in his body not to let out a sob.

"Okay." You nod your head once, the look of worry almost permanently etched into your features. If Jason had the strength, he'd push you away just to get you to stop worrying so much. He doesn't deserve it. You don't deserve it. "What happened?" You ask quietly, the water now completely soaking your hair.

Jason offers the weakest shrug you have ever seen. "Don't know." Why do you want to help him? Can't you see the monster he's become? His lip starts to tremble again as he tries to get a breath in but the tears are coming back and he can't breathe out of his nose. The water is dripping into his mouth and he almost thinks it'd be easier to just drown right here.

Not a day goes by that you aren't worried about him. It doesn't matter if you haven't spoken. It wouldn't matter if you hated him, as if that were even possible. You'd worry about him because Jason Todd has done everything to be enough. He has done everything to be happy and somehow, he's still the one sitting in a shower in tears because the world around him is suffocating. Yes, the whole Robin thing was worrisome. The whole Red Hood thing is worrisome. He gets shot out for fun. He taunts people because he thinks it's fun. Someone else is going to kill him one day, that much is certain. And while that is worrisome, you've also seen the damage people he loves have caused him. It doesn't have to be physical damage because Jason's own brain wants to torture him and it uses everyone else's words as some sort of infinite ammo. The vigilante thing is worrisome, but where Jason's head is, that's the real thing that's worrying.

It wouldn't matter if you hated each other, you would rip every false and cruel thought that ever crosses his mind.

You let go of his face and move your hands to his. You're careful, lightly pulling his hands apart and away from his legs. Once his legs are free, you move to the side and lightly press on his knees until his legs are stretched out in front of him. The whole thing is making Jason watch you with careful eyes and it's almost a distraction and then you climb on top of him. You straddle his lap, Jason's eyes never leaving you and it almost causes him more panicky. He might know you better than he knows himself, but he very rarely knows what you'll do in moments like these. But then, you don't say anything. All you do is wrap your arms around his neck and pull him for a hug.

Jason tenses up just as he's done before but after a few seconds, a part of him relaxes against you. He gathers a full breath into his lungs and it's as if he's giving his body permission to lose it all again, in the comfort of you. His arms wrap around your middle and his grip is so tight as he lets out a sob, you can't breathe. You think you'd suffocate if it allowed him any type of relief.

It is all just too much. The weight on his chest is too heavy and he doesn't think he can carry it. He goes out and he murders people. They may be very bad people but it's what he does and he thinks about how Bruce is so mad about it. He tries to be understanding but they will never come to an understanding over it. It will be a matter of time before Jason ends up an enemy to Batman and by default, an enemy to Bruce. What makes what Jason is doing different than what the Joker did to him? To Jason, Batman and Robin were the Joker's enemies, right? And he took care of a problem, the same way Jason is taking care of problems. Jason might not be the instigator in it, but he's doing the same crime. Was Bruce right about it? Is he any different than the Joker?

Most days, it is a thing that he lives with. It's for the greater good and his soul is already damaged, it's already the property of something that isn't quite him anymore. It's always just waiting in an in-between for his second round at death. He does it so other people won't have to. He does it so other people won't feel like him or you or Bruce or Dick or Molly or any of them. He does it to help because people get forgotten. That's what he tells himself but right now, he can't quite figure out if that's really the right thing. He doesn't know what else he's supposed to do. If this isn't supposed to be the answer, then what is? What if it isn't and he can't come back from it anyway? His hands are already stained with so much blood.

And because of that, he falls back into his routine way of thinking. He is damaged. He is broken and scarred, physically and mentally now. Everything around him crumbles at his feet. He tries so fucking hard to be something that's easy to swallow and digest but he fucks that up, too because no one really expects him to be like that. He breaks everyone around him and all he does is hurt people. They try to offer him love and kindness and he bites through it like a rabid coyote. He is undeserving. Someone who is deserving doesn't push and they don't hurt people for being kind. They don't destroy people. That's all he has ever done.

And then he fucking died. It might have been scary and traumatizing but there was a moment, right before everything went dark where he accepted his fate. That would be it. No one else would have to suffer for his mistakes. He was going to die and some people might be sad for a little bit, but they would move on. And he wouldn't fuck up their lives anymore. And he wouldn't suffer anymore.

The ache in his bones would be gone and the voice would be quiet. All of the pain he's dealt with would just be...gone. He would take his last breath, and that would be it. He has hurt for so long that there was a moment where he accepted his fate, that it might just be better and easier this way. He did not want to die and he wishes he were able to have put up a fight but in that single second, he accepted it.

That feeling lingers with him today. He accepted it and as brought back. The reaper won't leave him alone, tugging at his lungs and his bones. It's not forceful, just a casual reminder of what's waiting for him one day. It's a feeling in his stomach that feels like the start of an ulcer. Just there, waiting for the right moment. And he saw the look Dick gave him when he saw Red Hood was Jaosn. He did not seem happy. You were at first pissed about it. No one really seemed too happy at first when he came back. He interrupted your grieving process and then interrupted everything else. He dies with the ache in his bones and the guilt because he has no choice but he swears he won't do this again.

He put a bomb in his helmet as a failsafe.

You pull his thoughts back to you as you press a kiss to his temple. "You're gonna be okay, Jay."

"I'm not!" Jason yells through a whine as he pulls away, his eyes on you. His chest is heaving as he pants for some sort of air. "I'm never gonna be fucking fine."

Why does the world treat him so cruelly? Can't it see that he is good? Can't it see that he has always been enough? Can't it see that Jason Todd has been through enough? He has suffered enough. You would fight the universe with your bare fucking hands if that's what it took for it to understand that he is done suffering.

"You will be." You nod your head at him as your hands come to the side of his neck. Your thumbs trace his jawline. "And you don't have to do this shit alone." You urge. "I told you, if I'm alive then you are never alone and I mean it. I don't care." You shrug harshly. "It's gonna be okay." You want to kiss him until he believes you. You want to kiss all of his hurt away, scare it away so far away that it never comes back. You want to kiss him as hard as you can so maybe he'll believe, once more, that he is worthy and he's gonna be okay and he is never fucking alone if you're breathing.

"I-I just want to stop." His voice has never sounded so defeated as he rests his head against your chest.

"I know." You whisper, your hand moving to the back of his head as you run your hand through the wet strands of black hair. "It will, you just gotta give it some time, Jay." Your voice is steady and calm, disguising the pain in your chest. "You've been through a lot."

Jason picks his head up, his green eyes are dark and miserable. Completely broken. "I died." Jason chokes out.

"Yeah." You nod once as Jason watches something devastating rip through your eyes. "Someone should have been there to protect you." You wish it would have been you. It should have been you to protect him.

Jason shakes his head and he lets out this chuckle that almost falls into another sob. "Maybe I was better off dead." He says it in one breath, all flat and sincere. "Look what I've become."

"No." You say sternly because he doesn't get to do this to himself again. He has prevented you from this exact spiral more times than you can count and he doesn't even know it. It's your job to make sure you repay the favor that was never really a favor. "You deserve to be alive." Jason catches a subtle break in your tone. "You became something that everyone was too fucking cowardly to become. You save people." You nod firmly. "Do you know how many people you've saved as Red Hood?" You ask.

"Not fucking many." Jason lets out a huff.

"Three hundred and two." You answer right back.

Jason's eyes widen and he is so certain you're making that up. "What?"

"Three hundred and two." You repeat. "There was a domino effect, too. I didn't actually count that because it would be like... impossible but I did account for some of them. A guy was gonna blow blow up the museum but you stopped him the day before he had a chance. So, you saved every person that would have been there. You've stolen how many guns from Black Mask? I mean just think of how many people you saved because you took those guns? Domino effect. Of course, there was the apartment fire last week which I don't know, Jay. You're not a firefighter but you still went into it and saved a whole family then went back and saved their cat."

Jason's eyes burn and sting as he stares at you in disbelief and confusion. The water pelts him and it's the first time he realizes it's going a little cold. Why the fuck do you know that? Why are you keeping track? Jason doesn't even believe you. You have no reason to keep track of how many people he's saving. It's his doing and it has nothing to do with you. There is no reason for it. You're just telling him this shit to make him feel better even if that's never been something you've done.

You don't lie to him.

Jason didn't think you'd start so soon and he did do those things. The Gazette wrote a few articles about it though and Molly knew. Maybe that's how you knew but your eyes are soft and your fingers are idly playing with the wet strands at the base of his neck. Why are you keeping tabs on him when you never called?

"W-why the fuck do you know that?" Jason finally gets the words out and you can't tell if he's actually mad about it or concerned.

You hope he's just concerned.

You shrug and offer him a small but cheeky smile. "Cause I do." You suck in a breath. "Have my ways."

The very corner of Jason's mouth tugs upwards just barely at the thought that you're really keeping tabs on him, outside of hearing from your friends. If it were anyone else, he'd be pissed. He can take care of himself despite what this situation might look like to an outsider. He can take care of himself and he doesn't need people worrying about him and keeping tabs just to be disappointed or mad. Jason Todd has never needed anyone but you keeping tabs on him both as Jason Todd and Red Hood is different because you only do it for people you care about. You weren't talking and you still kept up with what he was doing. It makes him wonder why because you could have called. You could have asked yourself and maybe that makes the tiniest smile fall.

Jason didn't call either.

"Keeping tabs on me?" Jason asks with a rough but quiet voice, his brows pulling together.

Not keeping up with him feels impossible. As much as you're beating yourself up for everything and as much as a part of you doesn't think you deserve anything with him at all, there was always a part of you that knew you needed to keep up. Molly and Gar might know what he's doing as himself but Jason's going to keep them away from Red Hood as much as he can. Somewhere inside your stomach, you knew you'd find your way back into each other's lives one way or another. You just wanted to know what he was doing and if he were okay. The only thing you want is for him to be okay and killing people is not the easiest thing in the world, despite what it might look like sometimes. So, you've been keeping up with him just in case.

He's important to you, of course you keep tabs on him.

"I know you're keeping tabs on me, too." You whisper back to him, the cheeky smile completely gone from your lips.

Sometimes Molly will ask an odd question, something she either shouldn't know about or something off-handed. All of the Titans would just ask you which means the only person in Molly's ear is Jason. And you know damn well Molly is smart enough to know you'd figure it out. You just don't say anything. You give Molly the answer and Molly updates you on Jason's things. Okay, so she's a little in the middle of you and Jason but Molly knows you're both mostly asking about each other because you're worried. It is so stupid and you're so emotionally stunted, but it'd drive you both crazy not to know.

Jason just needs to know you're okay.

"Maybe." Jason finally gets a grin onto his lips because you knowing without saying anything until now makes his heart swell. Even apart, you just can't help yourselves.

"Exactly." You let out a soft laugh.

Jason nods a few times, his smile turning gentle. "Why, uh, why do you know that though? How many people?" Jason asks and he finds himself resting his hands on your hips as if on instinct.

"Helps." You answer casually. "Keeping track of everyone you kill and everyone you save by killing, it helps. Keep track of mine, too so...I kept track of yours...just in case." You clear your throat, dodging his eyes. "Know how you are and stuff so...uh, yeah, just...knowing it does help...helps on days where it feels like this might be worse." You explain softly. "It's not...by the way." You clarify. "Greater good but yeah...uh, yeah, you know sometimes it's a lot to carry."

The way you word it makes Jason's heart burn. His hands grip your hips a little tighter and he remembers the night outside of Jerry's. You nearly beat him to death and everything was still heavy. It was still a lot to carry and Jason told you to put it on him. When it gets too hard to carry, put it on him because he can carry the weight of it for you. You swore you'd do the same for him and Jason wonders when you seemed to lose that.

He knows. Deep down he knows because it haunts him in his sleep. That night outside of Excellent Gotham when you were finally done absolutely destroyed him. He knows that was the night you both lost everything. That he lost everything. He had almost gotten you, Tim, and Mr. Drake killed and you couldn't do it anymore. Jason still doesn't blame you even if it makes him want to lose his mind to guilt and regret all over again. It hurts because he always felt so secure with you but then that happened and it was like everything he ever had finally collapsed at his feet. An earthquake disguised in the words of "you win. I can't do it anymore. I'm done." crumbled his foundation. Your love had been wilting away ever since he came back and that was the day it all finally fell apart.

He wishes he could take it back. He wants what you had back.

"Still will carry some of the weight for you, Jay." You suck in a breath.

Can the wilting process be reversed? Can it be rebuilt? Or is it tarnished forever? Or can you rebuild something better? If Jason committed now again, would it be better? Could you get a fair fucking chance at this time?

Jason grinds his teeth thinking that he wants you. After all of this and you are still willing to be soaking wet in your clothes in a shower with him and carry the weight of devestation for him when it's too much for him. He is endlessly and hopelessly in love with you. He wants you. He wants what you had before and he wants to rebuild it. Somehow, some way, that is what he wants and fuck if he thinks he deserves it or not because you wouldn't be here if you didn't feel the same way.

Jason leans his forehead against yours. "You can still put it on me." Jason whispers softly and you gain a soft and subtle smile.

You don't know it, but Jason is entirely committed to you. Maybe you won't want to try again and Jason can't even blame you. It was a fucking shitshow and he died and you almost died. It was a fucking disaster. Maybe you weren't, but your worlds burned around the both of you and charred you both in the process. Maybe you won't want to and that's fine. But, Jason wants to try it all one more time, banter and games and then falling into something. It might not have worked the first time, but it'll be different this time. He's so sure of it and he is so sure of you. He just wants to find his footing and allow you to find yours first and then, even if it makes him want to throw himself through a window, he'll start the conversation.

You pull away, resting your hands on his cheeks. "Why don't we get up, get dry, and I can stay if you want me to?"

He always wants you to stay.

"Ya don't have to if you don't want to." Jason offers even though he knows you will anyway.

"I know." You smile softly at him before you scrunch your nose at him. "Guess you're just stuck with me."

Jason lets himself laugh. There's no such thing as being stuck with you. You don't get stuck to people and you make sure people don't get stuck to you. He is not stuck, it is always a pleasure to have you around. Even when it's hard.

Sorting yourselves out is for the best. It hurts the both of you more than words could possibly describe and a part of that does not feel it's for the best. It feels, somehow, more complicated now than it did before. It's as if you've both forgotten how to walk around each other and that part feels wrong. You both strolled right into each other's lives before and made yourselves right at home as if it were always meant to be that way. Being a part and sorting yourselves has left this gap between you that you're not sure how to build a bridge back. But it's for the best because you can't be together and offer each other the care you deserve if you're too busy dealing with your own traumas while trying to help the other one. It's a little too much to throw in a romance. It sucks and Jason knows it.

"Thanks."

"Of course." You get up, leaning over and turning the shower off finally.

You offer your hands to Jason and help him to his feet. The both of you are completely drenched and it makes Jason laugh. Your hair is soaked, the small bit of eyeliner is running down your cheeks and your t-shirt sags pathetically over you. You stick your tongue out at him and then laugh with him. He doesn't look much better than you do so you laugh, heartily and loud, the booms bouncing off of the tile surrounding you. It's all a little ridiculous.

"Why are you laughing?" You ask as you gasp for a breath.

"You look like a drowned rat." Jason bellows before he grabs the two towels from the towel bars.

"Fuck you!" You yell before sucking in a laugh and catching the towel from Jason. "So do you!"

"I know!" Jason agrees with you which only makes you laugh more and he thinks you're still the prettiest person he's ever met.

His laughing subsides first and turns into something soft and tender while you just smile at him before rolling your eyes. Jason wides his eyes to mock you and then he turns around. He rests his towel on the counter beside him before stripping down to his boxers and you can't help but watch. You're starting to feel goosebumps erupt over your skin as you grow colder but the sight of Jason Todd stripping down? That is not a sight to be missed.

He's somehow more toned now than he was before. The muscles of his back flex with every movement as he dries himself off. The Lazarus pit healed his face and the other injuries he sustained from the Joker but it didn't get rid of his previous scars. The one from his dad is still there and the other one from a fight on the streets. You still like how they look on him. Proof that he is alive. And the only thing you want to do is wrap your arms around him and kiss up his shoulder blades.

You almost do it.

Your feet almost move and you can almost feel how his skin will be warm against yours. He'll straighten his stance at first and then he'll relax. His hands will come up to your arms and a chuckle will fall from his lips the second you place the first kiss between his shoulder blades. You both would be happy.

You almost move.

But it's not your place anymore.

So, you will yourself to turn around and strip down just as he did, leaving you in just your bra and underwear to get as dry as you can. Jason peaks over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of your back to him. He could feel you practically boring into his back and he's relieved you turned around. It wouldn't normally bother him but he'd have to turn around eventually and he wasn't in for that conversation at the moment. But, he offers a glance, catching the raised lines of scars through your back, something that still boils Jason's blood.

Your scars never bothered him. Proof that you fight like hell to make it out alive. But, it pisses him off because what the fuck did you ever do to deserve the mistreatment? Nothing in this world justifies the horrors you went through and the fact you have to bear the scars for the rest of your life as if the haunting memories weren't enough. Jason gets it more than anyone, especially now. And all he wants to do is pull you into him, litter kisses across your face until you burst at the seams with laughter because you're happy. At least if you're laughing you're happy and that's what you deserve. To be happy.

Jason shakes his head and says he'll be back with some dry clothes before he darts out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He takes a few minutes to get some dry clothes on himself, making sure he's covered with a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. His body starts to warm up almost immediately from the clothes and then he rummages through his things looking for something for you to wear. He grabs a pair of boxers for you, sweatpants that he only kept because they fit you better, and a red t-shirt.

When Jason gets back to the bathroom, you're seated on the toilet seat with the towel wrapped around you, cutting off just above your breasts. Jason offers you a smirk because who are the both of you if you aren't going to do this whole banter thing?

"Wanna give me a show?" Jason quips.

You snap your attention to him, seeing a pile of clothes in his hands and him now fully clothed. "No, fuck you." You chortle back as you get to your feet.

"But I'm sad." Jason gives you the fakest pout you've ever seen.

"You're still obnoxious." You quip, gesturing with one hand to get the clothes from Jason.

Jason keeps his smirk. "Better than shithead."

"Shithead." You beam up at him, still waiting for him to hand over the clothes.

"Babe." Jason laughs before handing over the clothes.

You smile back at him with the roll of your eyes. "Maybe I'd have given you one if you gave me one." You blink up at him and Jason knows damn well this is a trap.

"In your dreams." Jason holds his confidence.

You shrug, deciding to play the game. It is always the most fun that way. "Those are my best dreams."

Jason feels his cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink. "Don't have just be dreams, babe."

"You fucking wish."

"If I did?" Jason quips without missing a fucking beat.

"I know you do." You roll your eyes and he knows he's won. "Turn the fuck around or get out."

Jason lets out a laugh before he leaves you to get changed, closing the door behind him. "I'm right out here if you change your mind about the show."

"Fuck you!" You yell before Jason hears you laugh behind the door.

Jason leans against his dresser, tugging out his phone to see what he's missed. He has a few texts from Gar, mostly just TikToks and one asking how things are going. Jason decides he'll respond later, not in the mood much for explaining that one. There's a text from Dick asking how Tim is doing and Jason replies that it's going fine, not offering any further explanation. He knows damn well Dick sent the same text to you and you'll elaborate more. There isn't much else on his phone so he goes to his gallery, a habit he can't quite break.

He hasn't deleted a single photo of him and you from his phone. It's an endless and helpless bit of hope that it'll be you and him at the end of this. And these are pictures from a better time because even when he was dealing with the shit from Deathstroke, at least you were both happy. Everything still seemed so simple compared to how it feels today. It feels like years have passed since you were in your bed changing your lock screens to matching pictures. It's as if you've lost your last bit of innocence in those few weeks of terror and agony. Jason figures that's just a consequence of endless trauma. He grieves for the kids you should have been allowed to be. Innocent and dumb and stubborn and carefree. He grieves for the people you both were in the pictures on his phone.

The door opens, tugging Jason's attention up and away from his phone before he pockets it. A tender smile pulls at his lips as you walk out in his clothes, he swore they always look better on you anyway. You have a pile of clothes in your hand, topped with the black towel. You walk right up to him, standing just a few inches from him and beam up at him before you offer the stack to him.

Jason tilts his head back with a laugh before he pushes off the dresser. "Am I your fucking maid now?" He quirks his brows at you.

"I don't think you want me to answer that." You laugh right back and it's something airy and warm.

Jason shakes his head. "Fuck you."

"If you ask nicely." You fire right back and you watch the subtle tint of surprise fade over his face. You let out a snicker before Jason deadpans. "It is still so much fun to fuck with you, Jay."

Jason isn't the only one chasing the innocence of a few months ago. You can feel it, too. It's dark now. Something heavy is lingering in the air everywhere you go. You hate how it feels and ignoring it doesn't do you any good but what else is there to do? At the very least, the way Jason laughs still makes you smile. At the very least, the way he laughs makes the air not feel so heavy anymore. The banter makes things feel a little bit better because at least you're talking, at least you're still on the same page. At least it's still him and you.

"Give me your damn shit." Jason grumbles through a smile while you do as told through a laugh. "Just...wait here." Jason stutters for a second before he darts out of the room.

You make your way to his bed and sit down, your hand landing on his pillow. There's something hard under it and while it isn't your business, you pick up the pillow anyway. Jason keeps a gun under his pillow and the smile evaporates in a second. You know why he does it but...it's the reality of it. The heaviness of always having a weapon at the ready even when it dangers your own life. To live in fear. To live always on guard. It's not fair.

Your heart aches for him. Even after everything, he deserves better. He has always deserved better but now he's stuck here dealing with the monstrosities he was manipulated into doing and dealing with dying. It's all not fair and you wish you knew what you could do to make it better.

You carefully grab the gun, checking the safety and you're relieved he's at least keeping the safety on. You rest it beside you before you look on the other side of the bed, not seeing any other weapons. You'd hope you would have noticed last night or this morning if he had anything out in the open. But, Jason wouldn't which makes you wonder where else he's hiding his weapons.

"What're you doing?" Jason's voice brings your attention back to him.

"Why, uh, w-why do you keep a gun under your pillow?" You ask.

Jason's teeth grind against each other, knowing he can't lie about it. He moved it last night when you weren't paying attention. He'd never have you sleep in a bed when it could go off. But, by the way you asked, that's not why you're asking. You don't even sound mad but Jason is embarrassed anyway. Exposed again, twice in one night because of course he keeps weapons at the ready. He needs to be prepared for anything. Joker took care of the job once already and Jason has been doing a great job in making more enemies than friends these days. He keeps his guard up at all times so he doesn't get beaten to death again.

"I put it there." Jason states, stuffing his hands into his pockets, practically gluing his feet to the floor. Maybe if he doesn't move, you won't ask any more questions.

You blink at him a few times. "Yeah...I-I knew that?" You question him. "That's fucking stupid, you know that?" You ask with the nod of your head. "You might have the safety on but what if it goes off?"

"Look, it's not a fucking thing. You don't have to make it one." Jason shakes his head, gesturing a leisured hand towards you, trying to brush it off as much as he can.

You roll your eyes before you get up, gun in hand with the barrel facing the floor. "I'm not judging you for it. I get it." You shrug your shoulder as you hand the weapon to him.

Jason holds it in his hand, grip tight while he watches you go to your bag. His brows furrow as you start digging into your backpack. You pull out a switchblade, metallic blue shining against the low light of his room. You walk back over to his bed and put the knife under his pillow.

"It's locked so it shouldn't open on you while you're asleep. Just don't lose that one, I like that one." You roll your shoulders, eyes locked on his. "I got those from Bruce so they're good for throwing." You explain as you swallow thickly and you can see Jason wanting to fight you on it, defend himself but he doesn't need to. Jason Todd never needs to defend himself against you. "I have one under my pillow, too." You say quietly while you watch Jason's face soften and his shoulders relax.

Being with you was always the place he never felt judged for anything, even the blood staining his hands.

"Thank you." Jason takes a few steps forward, finally unsticking his feet from the wooden floorboards. "Don't have to look after me, though." Jason says it simply, a hint of hurt in his voice. He takes a seat beside you. "Not your job anymore." Jason's eyes are dark and sad, something tugging his thoughts back to a place they shouldn't be.

"I know." You say quietly. "It was never a job in the first place." Your eyes go to your hands and Jason can feel the lump in his throat growing again but this time, for the love he thinks he lost from you. Or the love he thought he lost. "You're still my favorite person." You whisper back to him and you don't know why you say it. You only know that it's true and it's always been true. Maybe he just needs to know it's still you and him.

"Still?" Jason asks, his eyes searching over your face for any indication that you're going to throw out some quip.

"Mhm." You hum with a subtle nod.

Jason looks to his hands in his lap and he misses you more than words could possibly describe. He misses your honesty and your care and your quips and the snark. He misses every aspect of you and he is so in love with you. He thought, for just a second, maybe that feeling would fade. Time would pass and it would fade, especially lately. You'd meet again and maybe it would be so different that he wouldn't feel like his heart would burst from his ribcage at the sight of you. You always deserved better than him anyway. After everything he put you through, you deserve better than that but he can tell by how you stutter and tug at your sleeves, the way your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes after the last bit of banter, you aren't entirely happy. Being with him, for some reason he'll never understand, made you happy. And being with you always made him happy. You're sitting here and it's as if his very heart is trying to climb through his chest to get to yours. He is still so endlessly in love with you.

"I miss you." He says it quietly, looking back to you and he wishes he could tell you the other eight letters but..that all seems a little too honest and a little unfair. He doesn't expect you to say it back.

Every day you wake up and you love him. Every day you wake up and you miss him. Today was the first day in two months, you didn't miss him. You didn't miss him because he was down the hall. You didn't miss him because he was here and so were you. Today was the first day in two months, your chest didn't ache with the thought of him. You miss him, too and you miss his smile and his laugh and the new addition of the white streak of hair. You miss his sarcasm and his ability to turn anything into some sort of joke. You always miss him. And you are endlessly in love with him.

"I miss you, too." You whisper back, eyes locking on his.

The haunted words of 'I love you' scrape down your throat, knowing it's not your place to say them. It's too honest, too vulnerable, too exposed. It's too much for both of you and it's not fair to put that on him. It's not fair to put it on him because you aren't sure what you'd do if he knew. It's agonizing swallowing the words. You have felt more at home today than you have in two months. Jason deserves to know you still love him despite it all but you can't say it.

The room falls silent, the air between you growing humid and thick. Tonight was a bad night. They happen sometimes. Sometimes the weight of it all drags Jason down and he can't pick himself up. But you walk right in and don't even hesitate. You always know what to do and you never even question it. Tonight was a bad night but you were here and he is thankful for you. He's coming into himself as Red Hood, knowing, most nights, that what he's doing is for the greater good. He's getting along with Bruce and they're actually trying for once. He sees Leslie once a week. He is trying, making a solid effort to move past everything that's ever made him feel like a burden. It's the forgiving himself for what happened that drags him down.

Everyone was right. It was his choice to go to Crane. He didn't have to. Sure, maybe it wasn't really him while he was high, but it was. It was him making that choice to keep taking it, it was his choice to ignore every single offer you ever made to bring him back just because he was pissed and stubborn and he felt abandoned. So many people have suffered because of what he did under Crane's control. It may not have been the real him but he still did it. And that's a very difficult thing to forgive himself for. And it only ever gets worse when you're involved because you were the one person who never even thought about giving up on him until you were given no other choice. It's a very hard thing to forgive himself for but he is trying.

Leslie says he needs to learn to forgive himself, everyone else has forgiven him and that should mean something.

He's trying.

He's trying to forgive himself and be better. He is trying to accept the care and kindness of others without second guessing their motives or when they'll up and leave.

He's trying not to push.

"I..." Jason stutters. "I really miss you." Jason says again, hoping you get it because he can't stand to not have you in his life anymore.

Your face softens as your heart shatters through your chest. You forgave him for everything the second it all happened. Sometimes, you can feel yourself upset about some of it but it's just the grief kicking in again. The grief of everything you both lost the second he made the decision to go to Crane. It is the one decision he has made that you don't understand but you aren't Jason. You weren't Robin. You weren't stripped of the most important thing to you, of your identity. Not like Jason was. And you forgive him anyway because Jason doesn't like to hurt people. Especially people he cares about. Pushing has always been a way to hurt himself, not other people. You forgive him for everything even if he doesn't know it.

You wish it were different so you wouldn't be suffering through the pain of missing each other. It doesn't seem very fair, especially tonight.

You know what he means.

"I really miss you, too." Your voice is honest and Jason thinks you even sound scared, a reminder of how he sounded the first time things got a little too real with your feelings. Those words hold the same meaning that they do for Jason. Everything you're both too scared to say tonight.

You lean forward, resting your forehead on his shoulder and you know your heart will only ever belong to him. It'll always be safe with him. Jason's eyes soften as he looks down at you and instead of making some quip or joke, he lets you sit in the moment. He rests his cheek against your head and all he wants to do is kiss you. This isn't easy for you either.

You lift your head and Jason's eyes are big and green, the prettiest shade of green you've ever seen. He is still the only thing you have ever wanted. He will always be the only thing you'll ever want. And Jason can feel it, too, like an invisible string tugging you together in every universe, in every timeline. You are the only thing he has ever wanted. You are the only thing he will ever want.

Jason hopes you know he feels it, too so he rests his forehead against yours first this time. Your eyes close as your shoulders relax and Jason finally lets out a breath before his eyes close. He'll never ask because that's too soon into whatever this friendship is going to be but he's hoping you stay awhile. Stays past morning tomorrow and into the night. You don't have to talk about any of it, he just wants you to stay and he wants to stay just like this because it's the safest he's felt in two months. And it's like a reflex, embedded deep into his DNA, he brushes his nose against yours as he feels your breath fan over his lips.

You match him but instead, you brush your lips against his. You haven't kissed him in a month and a half yet it feels like it's been an entire century. Kissing him has always washed away every doubt and ounce of sadness you've ever had. Him kissing you has always made you feel wanted, the two of you against the world. That's how it should have been and that's how it should be now. You want to kiss him so badly you think you might burst into tears. Life was always better with him in it. You want to kiss him to show him that even if you can't be together, you still love him with every ounce of your existence.

Jason's head starts to spin and he holds his breath. He's thrown right back to that time in the manor when you told him to prove it. You said it and he never put in a single thought after that. He took the leap and he thinks it was one of the best decisions he's ever made. That kiss sealed your fate together, even for just that short time. It brought you to him in a way he didn't think he'd ever be lucky enough to have. Being with you made him feel lucky for the first time in a very long time.

Maybe you can do this again. Maybe the way for you to do anything is to tiptoe into it. It didn't work last time but it wasn't for lack of trying. It was Jason who fucked it up but it had nothing to do with you and him. Maybe falling back into each other is how it's supposed to be. Maybe you could fix it all. It's just lonely without you. He's terrified but your lips brush over his again and you're making the first move this time. You can still quiet every horrible thought he's ever had. He loves you with every ounce of his very existence.

Jason brings his hand to your cheek, running his thumb over your cheek. Your skin is always soft under his callused fingers. He thought maybe you'd back out because you do that. You run from everything, you back out, it's all a joke and that's that. It would be incredibly painful but...you don't. You lean into him instead. So, Jason finally closes the bit of distance between you and brings his lips to yours.

You smile against him and Jason can breathe again. He can breathe again as you kiss him back and your mouth moves with his. This might be a one-time thing but that's okay because even if it's just for this moment, you choose him. And he chooses you. You will always choose each other. In the chaos of your lives, somehow, you find your way back right here with your hands pulling the collar of his shirt closer to you and his hands on your cheeks. You choose each other anyway. Despite the pain and heartbreak and chaos and all of the terrible, horrible, thoughts, you choose each other. Even if it is just for a moment, Jason decides to take the second leap and he wants this moment to last as long as you will let it. If you'll have him.

Jason moves his hands to your hips, giving them a squeeze before he tugs you closer to him. You get the hint and without breaking the kiss, you move to straddle his lap, Jason guiding you down. His hands squeeze your hips and he tugs you as close to him as possible while your hands find their way to his shoulders and then the back of his neck. Your fingers tangle in the damp hair at the base of his neck. The kiss grows sloppy and desperate, teeth clanking against each other and it is the most cathartic feeling the both of you have had in a long time.

It is healing parts of you both you didn't think possible. Normally, it's Jason questioning your feelings because why would you ever love him after all the damage he's done? But, it's you questioning that as you kiss him with everything in you. You're just like everyone else, why would he forgive you for that? Why would he kiss you like he's still hopelessly in love with you? You broke a promise to him and he's still here and you have no idea why. But, tonight, you're going to allow yourself to be thankful. All that matters right now is that you're here, together, just him and you.

Jason swears you have left a permanent make spelling out your name across his heart and Jason wouldn't have any other name in your place. And a part of him thinks you know, too. It's as if it glows and heats up the center of his chest whenever you're around. It's like his heart becomes a beacon of light on the top of a lighthouse the second you kiss him. You make him feel alive again and he doesn't have to feel so alone when you're here.

You feel so at home with him. Every piece of paranoia that's been coursing through you fades away and you know, without a shadow of a doubt, with Jason you're safe. After everything, he will always protect you. You will always protect him. You're tied together even if you don't want to admit it to each other. You've ruined each other for anyone that would ever come after and the both of you have never been so thankful.

Jason pulls away, his chest heaving as his eyes open slowly. Your eyes meet his slowly, pupils lust-blown and you have a loving and lazy smile spread across your lips. He thinks he could do this all night long.

He gains his signature smirk. "Did I win that time?" Jason's eyes glance to your lips.

You deadpan and shake your head. You expect absolutely nothing less from him. "Shut the fuck up."

Jason lets out the warmest chortle you've ever heard. "That's a yes."

"Just shut up and kiss me." You groan before colliding your lips with his.

You can feel him grin wildly against your lips before he falls right back into rhythm with you.

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@stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao //  @somehow-lovable-trash  // 

@xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased //

@scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @urmomsgayforme5 //

@septixtrash // @kplatzman // @killxz // @lovefks // @laurelthesimp //

@strawberryforks // @mxtokko // @kolpvii // @adorabluesposts // @jasontoddthings //

@bbiaa420 // @todorokiskitten // @krishavania

[imagine--if]

"What am I to you" Bruce Wayne/Battinson x reader?!?

A/N: I kinda just went with the flow on this haha, there's a smidge of riddler x reader too but hi battinson peoples!! It's been a while 😁🖤 enjoyyy, sorry if I didn't follow the trope as much as you wanted bahaha

Wordcount: 798

"I'm sending you to Wayne Manor. You'll be safe there."

You blink up at the mystery man clad in all black in shock, rubbing at the mild red tape marks around your wrists. Wayne Manor? Was he joking?

"Wayne Manor?" you repeat incredulously. "You can't just go to Wayne Manor. Bruce Wayne lives in Wayne Manor."

The Batman doesn't look up at you as he gently pulls a hand away from your wrist, cleaning the agitated skin area with a softness that should be alien to the vigilante, who stalks troublemakers and maniacs each night, warding them off the streets by any extreme means that doesn't involve guns.

"He'll understand."

You gape at him in a daze, the night's events a blur, making your head hurt just thinking about it. Of course, whatever drug that dampened the towel The Riddler shoved in your face before you were whisked off to a cold, crumby hotel room can't be helping either, and you swear you can still feel the effects making you feel weak and shaky even after The Batman stormed into the scene, cutting it short with an untamed rage you'd never seen in those dark eyes before.

Before all this, you'd never properly met The Batman, least of all been saved by him. It was only now that The Riddler was targeting the corrupt, trying to prove himself to Batman, and save you, his so-called angel, a beacon in this dark, cesspool city, from the corruption and the dangers lurking around every corner. But, if anything, The Riddler seemed like a danger to you, constantly sending you love poems and riddles on old-fashioned, cheesy valentines cards and promising his followers and viewers of his streams and trials that another reason to carry out his acts of terror was for you.

"So- so pure, and innocent, and angelic... and they're being corrupted! The influence of this rich, disgusting vermin of the city is attacking the biggest influence and symbol of hope in this forsaken place! I'm going to do something... something spectacular. All you have to do is watch and wait for a little while longer..."

If you'd have known that donating to charities for orphans and helping out true detectives like James Gordon with crimes instead of being bought off by Falcone would gain this kind of attention, you might have thought twice. But here you are. Being obsessed over by a murderous genius, and protected by a vigilante mystery man.

"Do you know him?" you ask Batman in wonder, as he frees your wrist, treated carefully and delicately. "Mr Wayne? I don't know if he'd be happy with me staying there. I mean, he doesn't talk to many people and... well, no one really knows much about him."

"He can make an exception," Batman answers you. "This is serious. I don't want you going back home or anywhere by yourself until Riddler's behind bars. You're a part of his plan, too."

You sigh, putting your hoodie back on and pulling the sleeves over your hands, fingertips poking out of the material. "I know. But I'm not your responsibility. You have enough to do already."

"It's my responsibility to keep you safe," The Batman argues. "I'm sure you're a very capable person, but this is dangerous. People have died. You know that."

"I don't think he'll kill me," you say after a beat of thought passes.

"He won't," The Batman says. "He won't go near you again. I'll make sure of it."

"Well..." you struggle to find the words, confused, as Batman goes over to his car, like something out of a sci-fi movie. "Thank you. But why do you care so much?"

The Batman freezes, glancing over his shoulder at you with an unreadable expression.

"No, I mean," you continue quickly, "apart from the fact that you're a vigilante and a protector and all. Like, what am I to you?"

You cringe inwardly at yourself after hearing the words come out of your mouth, and at the masked man's bemused expression. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? He was only protecting you because there's a terrorist on the loose, right? What exactly are you expecting?

What you don't expect is for The Batman to take a heavy step towards you, offering you a gloved hand to help you into the vehicle. His hand lingers in yours when you're sat down and he hesitates, an odd look of - what, insecurity? Flustered, just a little? - written in his features as he looks you dead in the eye, the intensity making your breath catch in your throat.

"Probably more than you think," he replies after a few moments of silence, and then his hand slips out of yours as the engine roars to life.

⭒❃.✮:▹𝓉𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ◃:✮.❃⭒ (message me know if you want to be removed/added. ghost blogs/dead accs have been removed.)

@misadventures0fdes @junebugp @simestandswithtaylorswift-blog @carley-carley-carley @lostbunn @dragovegogrimborn @i-wished-upon-a-star-one-night @edwardspumpkinpie @murderbimbo00 @sweetums0kitty @beel-mcburger @cml-san @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @bimboanime @phoenixgurl030 @dangerouslittlefairy @yoyoanaria @yaeyuuki @vinxlsketches @beenz-beenz @ghoulsgraveyard @birds-have-teeth @repostingmyfavs @r3ptiliaaa @for3v3rda1sy @glitterycheesecakegladiator @moonwritesblog @lilyevans1 @httpsunflowersleep @hxney-lemcn @callsigncrash @bokksieu @skateb0red @philiasoul@felicityofbakerstreet @deadlights-darling @ireadandream @tinyryder @kpopgirlbtssvt @truecobblepot @jessicainhell

[cryptidwrestling]

I need to sleep. I am putting way too much thought and upset energy into a scripted sports soap opera 😂😭 Anyway

Some Of Cryptid's Current Thoughts And Feelings™ On The State Of Her RAW Faves

1) Liv Morgan's booking.

Ya'll. I'm a Rhea simp/stan and a person second, anyone who's been on my blog for more than thirty seconds knows this 😂 And I've also made it no secret I, for the most part, am actually still enjoying the Liv v Rhea feud. So all that being said, what the fuck is going on with Liv's booking.

I know she's a heel and part of a heel faction and in-ring bullshit is the name of the game, but the fact that neither of her title defenses have been won clean (granted, she didn't technically win the Bad Blood one anyway but whatever we all know that ending was botched and she was supposed to technically win) and 9/10 times she runs from Rhea when confronted. They're making the Women's Champ look weak.

Liv can be cunning and vicious, we've all seen it; for fuck's one of my favorite theories that I'm willing to die on the hill of is Liv still just using Dominik as a pawn and is gonna drop him the moment she realizes he doesn't fit in with her plans anymore. Book the feral Liv if they're gonna keep this storyline going.

2) Finn v Damian

I mentioned this in a another post but I feel like the reason they weren't pushed as hard is because they didn't want to risk something forshadowing the PunkIntyre feud...And if that's the case, they shouldn't have had Finn turn yet. With this theory in mind, and tbh even if NOT true this would have still worked, the tldr in my head is

-Dom's turn should have been the same

-Have Finn, and the rest of the JD stick around and the rivalries be Dom v Damian and still Rhea v Liv

-Bad Blood rolls around, Dom and Damian have a match, and Finn's turn comes in the form of him and the JD assisting Dom.

-The Finn v Damian feud kicks off the same night Punk v Drew ends

There was NO REASON to have Finn turn and to wait this long to really start doing something with it. I still standby my opinion if done right, this rivalry could still be AMAZING...But it doesn't change the fact it has lost a LOT of momentum going the way it has.

3) Rhea Currently Standing Alone

To a degree, I get it. Her and Damian agreed to do their own thing because he's done with the JD (as far as he thinks.) and they're in different divisons but he would/will always come if Rhea called. I'm not a fan of how fast they split them up as a team-again, wave two of the Terror Twins shirts had barely shipped when this happened-but this segement was okay. It was sweet and mutual.

THAT SAID.

Rhea is currently in a 2v1 (not counting Dom cause I have little hopes of us ever getting a sanctioned match with them cause ✨intergender✨🙄) rivalry. Liv has Raquel...Who the fuck does Rhea have? Tiffy? Maybe, but we can't even say that for certain because as it sits right now, they're on different shows. Show borders are just currently being blurred in, assumingly, prep for Survivor Series.

Why the fuck does Rhea currently have to stand alone.

4) Jhea

THIS KINDA PIGGYBACKS OFF MY LAST PARAGRAPH AND IS THE ONE I REALLY DON'T GET??? Okay, yes, it was probably supposed to be something cute and just for fun to fill time while the other main storylines Rhea and Jey are/were in moved along. But if that was the case, why did ya'll move it to the main stage and not just keep it in backstage segments? Rhea during a preshow interview, I think it was Bad Blood?, said Jey showed her what a real man was like. Not to mention Jey coming to Rhea and Damian's defense or Jey agreeing to tag with Damian cause he "can't say no to Rhea." Why the fuck would you plant seeds like that on screen, on the main stage, and then just??? Drop it??? I don't get it???

5) JEY MOTHERFUCKING USO'S 28 DAY REIGN

I'm gonna make this one short and sweet cause you can literally see all my posts directly below this word vomit and see how mad I am 😅 But, in short; Why. Why not wait until after he's done with the Bloodline to give him a title? Why not have this same set up but give him the title ages ago. Give him a decent title reign with the same ending. Predictable at that point sure, but okay...What is the fucking point of having him, a fan favorite who everyone was cheering the house down the night he won, get his first solo title ever after fourteen years...Only to give it back to Bron less than a month later?

Bron is a GREAT preformer, do not get me wrong but making this...I don't want to say newcomer, but newer star a two time champ in his lesser time with the WWE just doesn't sit right with me.

I know Jey was gonna get involved with the Bloodline story at some point. I know it would have been hard to impossible to book him in a Smackdown story as a RAW champ...They could have done in without stripping his first non-tag title from him in under a month. We could have gotten crashout Jey going after Solo and Co without what we got tonight.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Forest Walls

Author’s note: More of the Analogue horror

Summary: Young Robu finds and befriend a Cat. It's just a cat... right?

Warnings: Analogue horror. Let me know if you need me to add anything.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @ms--lobotomy , @thevoidscreams, @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

Tagged: @undeaddream

"Kitty," Young Robu giggles out to his mother, who's behind the camera.

"Oh?" She says softly, warmly, "who's that buddy?"

'Kitty!" the young child says with a delighted, but soft giggle.

He's quite young again in this video, barely taller than the bizarrely dark green and black colored cat. The historitor rubs his eyes and squints at the video.

The cat is almost entirely black with patches of yellow fur and big green eyes. The colors of the forests at night. The Historitor shivers a little.

It's almost like the cat can see him rather than is just a dumb animal that has likely been dead for many years. Likely that is true with this little family.

Part of him wonders why he's going through these 'slice of life' videos, rather than something more important. But he knows better than to complain about his work assignment.

One of the more temperamental of his coworkers had in fact complained about such a thing, and then they got sent on the front lines near the Eye of Terror document the historical events happening in real time there.

The death notification for that coworker was sent in within decades of his arrival to his new outpost. The Historitors boss turned to look at the rest of them with a shark-like smile on their face and asked if anyone else was unhappy about their assignments.

Funnily enough, no one else was upset with their assignments, and were grateful with the work they had to do. So he shakes his head a little and continues doing his assignment. No matter how odd it was.

Wait a minute.

Why was the cat almost the size of a man. No Larger than a man. He almost fell out of his seat and then. He rewinds the tape and watches it again, his heart in his throat.

No. Just a regular cat.

It was very affectionate with little Robu, although, when his mother tried to pet it the cat hissed at her. She had backed off and only lightly scolded the cat for being rude.

The cat continued to rub its his face all over Robu who giggled, and had to be reminded occasionally, but gently pet the cat. The Cat suddenly started to nudge the boy, like he wanted to guide the blonde-haired, blue-eyed child somewhere else.

"Robu," his mother cooed at him warmly, "It's time for supper. You need to wash your hands. Papa is coming home to eat with us."

"Really?!" Robu says excitedly, "Daddy is almost always so busy."

"Yes, doing a very important job," She replies, "but I understand why you miss him my son."

Robu gently pets the kitty one more time, before waddling off with his mama. The cat stalking after them, almost dogging little Robu's steps.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

I feel like Night Terrors is just old and odd. Friends or partners, his show of affection could be old fashioned sometimes,, ex. draping his jacket around you when you shiver or opening doors for you. I have a feeling he’d be a “ladies first” type of gentleman. (if you could even call him one).

I also feel that he always has a unreadable grumpy expression on his face, like, all the time, no matter the situation. I’ve been starting to think that that’s just his relaxed face. And as someone who really pays attention to people’s facial expressions, I would probably mistake him and think that he’s upset with me or something—especially if he’s very silent.

Like you said, about him not really socializing and knowing how to talk or act with people, i feel like he’d be quite hard to understand what he means with his words, i feel that he would be very enigmatic with the people he does talk to—always with the side stepping replies, if you ask him; “Do you like being/hanging out with me?” he would probably reply with; “I don’t mind your company.” or; “Maybe I do maybe I don’t.” I feel like he would be THAT person, or if he asks you to go somewhere with him, since he probably rarely does this, you’d be a little teasing with him, “and would this be a date you are asking me out on?” I feel like he’d reply with, “if you want it to be.”

But i ALSOO feel like he’d be a really like, serious person. hmm very straight forward too. and always meaning exactly what he says. like if he asks you to sleep with him, he’s not leading on to sex, he literally just wants you to sleep next to him 😭.

Last one I promise 😔..do you think he’d be either purposely or accidentally demanding? i mean with his past and stuff, i feel like he could come off as harsh with a lot of things he says. meaning it or not.

I know he’s not a main character on your blog.. but i can NOT get over this man. i’m blaming the anons that got me into this pit

OKK… i’m just rambling atp. i’ll stop and save you the pain, this has already gotten too long,, but PLEASEE give me your thoughts and input on this stuffs.!!

Listen I love both Candy AND Terrors and I am more than happy to ramble about them any fucking time. Any characters that aren't popular I love giving extra attention. But you're right!

Starting from the top, he probably is pretty gentlemanly, even is he's gruff about it. He holds open doors for you, if you're cold he'll give you his jacket, he'll order for you at restaurants, he'll pay for you. Part of it is because he's a bit gentlemanly, but also I feel like he just views himself as the one in charge between the two of you, and since you're so important to Candy he does his best to take care of you for him.

He totally has resting bitch face. It's not intentional, but he's just naturally a frowner, even if he's in a relatively good mood he doesn't really smile all that often, if anything he just frowns slightly less. Get super duper close to him over time though, and he'll spare you a few small smiles every now and then.

Also, you're very correct with his replies. He doesn't want to seem too excited about things or appear more enthusiastic than he is, but he also has no idea what a normal reply would be. "Do you like this food?" "It's alright." He says, meaning that he actually really DOES like it, but he doesn't know how to express that. Ask him a "Does this outfit look good on me?" though and he ends up standing there for a few moments trying to think of what to do. He answers you with a "I think it's nice." said quite softly, meaning he thinks you look lovely.

And he also totally does mean things literally. He would absolutely just mean for you to share a bed with him and sleep if he asks "Would you like to sleep together/would you like to share a bed with me" he does not mean anything nefarious, and he'd probably be much more obvious if he actually wanted to do something more adult.

When it comes to being demanding... I think it's usually accidental. Like with him not knowing how to be polite and sociable he ends up making demands when he means a request. "Get me a soda." "Come sit over here." "Stop what you are doing and come here." "Bring me that." He's not even trying to be demanding but the man has never had to say the word please a single time in his life before so everything comes out as a statement instead of a request. If he is being intentionally demanding though, you can tell the difference in his tone of voice. Also, you could train him to say please, but he'll only do it for you and it's very begrudgingly at first.

[colourstreakgryffin]

The Six Pillars; Masterlist #5~

Welcome to the fifth temple~! Here is the most important Masterlist of them all~! This is the beginning of this Blog’s Hell-Heaven life, worked as hard here too~!

💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

Pillar #1: Demon Slayer ~❤️

💙💚 Giyuu and Sanemi: Hexstruck

❤️💜💙 Yoriichi, Obanai and Muichiro: I’m Not In Love

🧡💛 the Hashira: Merperson AU

🧡💛 the Hashira: Pokémon AU

💜💚💙❤️ Obanai, Sanemi, Giyuu and Tengen: Princess and the Hashira

🧡💛 the Hashira: Wild Wild West

💚🩷🩷💜 SaneKana and ObaMitsu: Double Trouble

🧡💛 the Hashira: Search and Rescue

💚💙 Sanemi and Giyuu: Motherly Love

🧡💛 the Hashira: Throwing in The Towel

❤️💛 Tanjiro and Zenitsu: My Mistake

💜 Obanai Iguro: Guilty and Sentenced

💜 Obanai Iguro: Abusive Husband

💙 Aoi Kanzaki: Savoury Drugs

❤️ Akaza: Just Like Me

💙💜💙 Giyuu, Obanai and Muichiro: My Reflection

💙 Muichiro Tokito: Go for It

💜🌈 Kokushibo and Douma: The Best Child Wins

💜 Obanai Iguro: Colourwork

💚💙💜🩷 Sanemi, Giyuu, Obanai and Mitsuri: Pleasurable Assistance

❤️🩷 Sanemi, Tengen, Giyuu and Mitsuri: Mini Attack

🧡💚💜💙 Kyojuro, Sanemi, Obanai and Giyuu: Clothing Recovery

🩷 Mitsuri Kanroji: Culinary Masterpiece

💙 Muichiro Tokito: You’re So Beautiful

❤️ Kamaboko Squad: Hotspring Fun

💙 Muichiro Tokito: Dark Beauty

🖤 Gyomei Himejima: One Hundred Problems

💜 Kokushibo: Worthy Successor

💜🩷💜 Obanai, Mitsuri and Shinobu: Anaconda Coil

🌈 Douma: The Ice Queen

🩷 Mitsuri Kanroji: The Rivals

🧡💚💜🩷💙 Kyojuro, Sanemi, Obanai, Mitsuri and Giyuu Tomioka: One in the Same

🩷💜 Mitsuri and Shinobu: Human Slingshot

🌈 Douma: Rare Find

💚🧡❤️🩷 Sanemi, Kyojuro, Tengen and Mitsuri: Bunny Baby

💜🩷 Obanai and Mitsuri: Sharing?!

🧡💜 Kyojuro and Obanai: Wild Breathing

🩷💜 Mitsuri and Shinobu: Queen of Toads

❤️💜 Tengen and Obanai: Lovely Cookie

🩷💜���� Mitsuri, Obanai and Giyuu: Webtastic Detective

🧡💚❤️🩷 Kyojuro, Sanemi, Tengen and Mitsuri: Women Power

🧡🩷 Kyojuro and Mitsuri: Doki Doki

💜🖤 Upper Moons: Blood Demon Art- The Mess of House Parties

💚 Gyutaro: Cutting My Heart

💜 Obanai Iguro: My Winglady

💜🖤 Upper Moons: Upper Moons and Affections

🧡💛 the Hashira: Hashira and The Comedy Club Chaos

❤️ Kamaboko Squad: Movie Night

❤️ Kamaboko Squad: Kissing Likes

🧡💛 the Hashira: Long-Night Sleepover

💜 Obanai Iguro: Giggling Mess

🧡💛 the Hashira: Life is a Highway

🩷 Mitsuri Kanroji: Amazing Extras

🧡💛 the Hashira: Cuddles and Sleep

💜💙 Shinobu and Giyuu: Clingy Hands

🧡💛 the Hashira: Hotel Vacation

💜🩷 Obanai and Mitsuri: Who Am I Without You?

🧡💛 the Hashira: Headcanons Paradise

🧡💛 the Hashira: Heart In Hands

💜 Obanai: Closer and Closest

🧡💛 the Hashira: Digital Terrors

🧡💛 the Hashira: Many Gutterballs

💜🩷 Obanai and Mitsuri: Heated War

💙 Muichiro Tokito: Foggy Mind

🖤 Gyomei Himejima: Crust Cage

❤️ Tengen Uzui: Blaring Screams

💚 Sanemi Shinazugawa: Chilling Wind

💜 Shinobu Kocho: Knockout Serum

💙 Giyuu Tomioka: Drowning Lake

🧡 Kyojuro Rengoku: Charring Senses

🩷 Mitsuri Kanroji: Rotten Heart

💜 Obanai Iguro: Trapping Squeeze

Pillar #2: Jujutsu Kaisen ~💜

💙🧡💜 Satoru, Suguru and Amanai: Royal Show

💛 Hajime Kashimo: Heart Strike

Pillar #3: JoJos Bizarre Adventure~💚

—

Pillar #4: Death Note ~💙

—

Pillar #5: Haikyuu ~🧡

—

Pillar #6: Record of Ragnarok ~🩷

—

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

Pillar #7: Additional ~🖤

💜💙 Tamaki x Nejire: Blood and Electricity

🖤 Shota Aizawa: I Want to Help

💙💜 Nejire x Tamaki: Thunder and Hugs

💚 Roronoa Zoro: Two Deadly Sins

💚 Roronoa Zoro: The Swordsman and the Art of Jealousy

💚 Roronoa Zoro: Sail into Parenthood

[darkwingerduck]

@saltineofswing - hah, you know "roleswap au" perfectly well! That would be the one where the Guardian-Ghost pairs of Yarrow-Aster and Euclid-Constant swapped roles to test your premise that Aster and Constant had "divorced several times" energy. And, well...

“I suppose,” they said, “I only thought they might want to assess the situation more deeply first.” “More deeply?” Constantin shook his head disbelievingly. “If we considered the moon any more deeply we could task a foundry with creating a life-size replica of it. Frankly, we should have been making these moves much sooner. It's dangerously close to having our hand forced as it is and I, for one, don't intend to be operating on a packet of outdated third-hand intelligence when Hive start crawling up the City gates.” “An imagined scenario,” Aster said, dry-mouthed. “An increasing reality! It baffles me as to why you of all people would be blind to this, Asteris.” “Because I haven't so easily forgotten why the interdict exists, Constantin,” they bit out, and the Titan's jaw clenched, the line of his mouth souring, a flat anger flooding into his eyes as he met and held Aster's gaze. He didn't shout, though. They were in a library, after all. No raised voices. No fire crackling over skin, no ozone tang, no slamming doors and long silences. It was Aster who broke the deadlock first, turning their gaze away. As always. “I assume Geist will be joining you?” they said, and the words sounded almost as wooden as the desk they were staring at. “You can assume whatever you like.” And wasn't it such a victory to have finally brought this particular contempt to the surface. “Light knows that's what you'll do regardless.”

They kind of did.

I slapped enough of this fic down that I still have hopes of perhaps ironing it out into something with actual pacing, hence it lives in the WIP cave and not somewhere darker.

[saintsenara]

Fenrir Greyback/Draco Malfoy. You've gotten me addicted to your blog btw.

thank you very much, anon!

i've recently come out in favour of smashing greyback together with every malfoy under the sun [chic], and my reasoning for why pairing him with draco is compelling is the same as it is for lucius and narcissa.

greyback is clearly someone who, prior to lucius' fall from grace at the end of order of the phoenix, the malfoys considered subordinate to them - both in terms of their respective social standing in wizarding society generally and in the death eaters. undoubtedly, before lucius lost voldemort's favour by fucking up the mission to retrieve the prophecy, he was someone the dark lord valued highly enough to mean that greyback [whose position in the death eaters depends on voldemort's goodwill] wouldn't want to risk getting on the wrong side of.

we see the vibe this might have created in the way greyback behaves towards bellatrix in deathly hallows. and we can also get a hint of how the malfoys saw greyback from the opening chapters of half-blood prince.

when draco threatens borgin with greyback, his tone implies that he's the person with the power in their relationship:

“Tell anyone,” said Malfoy, “and there will be retribution. You know Fenrir Greyback? He’s a family friend. He’ll be dropping in from time to time to make sure you’re giving the problem your full attention.”

this fits with draco's general attitude towards being a death eater in the weeks immediately following his father's arrest - he thinks it makes him important, impressive, and powerful; he delights in the status it gives him; and he is keen to use that status to belittle those he considers beneath him.

which means he would, i suspect, have been very amenable to making greyback... submit to him...

of course, what draco comes very quickly to discover is that if you fuck around you end up finding out. within weeks of the new school year starting he is in shambles. he's realised he's on a suicide mission designed to punish his father - and, above all, he's realised that voldemort literally doesn't give a shit about him.

and this evidently does reverse the power dynamic in his relationship with greyback. after all, on the night the death eaters enter hogwarts... greyback literally shows us that he doesn't care one bit about taking orders from someone as lowly as draco:

“Am I to take it that you are attacking even without the full moon now? This is most unusual... You have developed a taste for human flesh that cannot be satisfied once a month?” “That’s right,” said Fenrir Greyback. “Shocks you that, does it, Dumbledore? Frightens you?”  “Well, I cannot pretend it does not disgust me a little,” said Dumbledore. “And, yes, I am a little shocked that Draco here invited you, of all people, into the school where his friends live...” “I didn’t,” breathed Malfoy. He was not looking at Fenrir; he did not seem to want to even glance at him. “I didn’t know he was going to come - ”   “I wouldn’t want to miss a trip to Hogwarts, Dumbledore,” rasped Greyback. “Not when there are throats to be ripped out... Delicious, delicious...”

this is quite the change from "greyback's an old family friend"!

and this new dynamic continues into deathly hallows. when the trio are brought to malfoy manor, draco "keeps his distance" from greyback - who clearly relishes how rude he gets to be to the wandless and humiliated lucius malfoy, safe in the knowledge that voldemort would be thrilled to hear about how he treated a family who have plunged so spectacularly from grace.

i think you can do something really interesting - not nice, by any means, but still interesting - by pairing draco and greyback with this shifting dynamic in mind. so much of draco's disillusionment with the death eaters comes from being forced to confront the reality of violence, and the recognition that he doesn't have a stomach for the blood-and-gore side of terrorism. adding in the idea that he is also confronting the reality of violence by being entangled with greyback - and learning that his fragile social position will not protect him in the arrangement - is one hell of an addition to this narrative arc.

[starwriterulia]

Tomb of the Goshenite Stargazer Dragon - Chapter 6

SUBJECT MATERIAL WARNINGS FOR THIS FANFICTION ARE INCLUDED IN THE MASTERLIST POST OF MY BLOG AND THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS FANFICTION.

(Long A/N before cutoff, sorry!)

Bat divider by @violetbudd

Sun and moon divider by @saradika

Scene cut and creator support banner by @cafekitsune

Latest update: August 18, 2024. Added scene cut and "Support your creators by reblogging" banners. Added ⏭️ emoji below end of chapter banner with text explaining its function as a navigational button.

Chapter summary: Jason joins morning training. Wonder Woman, Zatanna and Damian arrive with Batman, who begins to scold the process before the Batkids remind Batman that they're working with a disabled person. The heroines talk with Faith about the asteroid belts that appeared when Faith came to Earth-33 and disappeared when she fixed the loophole she briefly explains, and how it was fixed, referring to Thalassic Space as a toy. Faith begins to age-regress when thinking about how she was unhappy due to her adoptive mom constantly taking away and breaking her favourite toys. Her favourite, a rabbit plush named Mr. Bunny, was the one tht was never taken away, but Faith herself threw him away when she was confirmed to be moving out; it was the toy she couldn't find online, and she shows the two closest pictures to the heroines and Batfamily.

She cries herself better in Batman's arms, then the group go to Faith's Dragon Tomb, inspired by Saarthal, to obtain her other two Relics and magic Astral Jester Costume. Faith successfully gains her full demigoddess powers and is given her items in a satchelbag, but afterwards, when one of the cat anthros guarding the final room exposes Faith's desires, the Batkids rightfully shout at Faith and leave, Batman leaving after speaking his mind in the way that only a father could. Martian Manhunter speaks to Wonder Woman and Zatanna over comms, offering to take Faith, but the heroines reply that they have another idea. Faith has delusions in the darkness left by Batman's cape as Wonder Woman and Zatanna walk Faith outside and through the portal, back to the Belfry, where the Batkids punish Faith on her way out. Batman gives Faith her belongings at the door, saying that he hopes she improves, then Batman slams the door. The heroines ask Faith if she'd like to be taken to a homeless shelter, or if she wants help. Faith, stuttering out of terror, asks for help. They ask Faith if she's OK with talkin to Oliver Queen and Dinah Laurel Lance, and Faith nods, then screams, as it was only 8 AM. They take to the sky for Star City, Washington.

A/N: (The night of writing this chapter:) Holy shit, I actually fucking went there!

(The day after writing this chapter, lightly revised the day after:) Y'all, I put my whole pussy in this chapter. It's got a lot of angst. PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND CONTENT WARNINGS! THIS CHAPTER GETS SUPER FUCKING REAL! 95% of this chapter is unedited, which I think speaks to its quality, and my skill as a writer, sorry to even imply towards having an ego, aaaaaa. But, yeah. I needed to confront myself about this. I've always been trying to just live, move on, and it was working until I started this fic, and I realised why I've been so passionate about it. It was time for me to talk to myself about that memory, and walk away from it, for good, and forever. In other words, I've literally punched my own face asdfsalkfj. What can I say? Things happen when you have too much brain juice at 1:30 AM!

Next chapter, another fandom will be added to the list!

That being said, I really hope this chapter is a good read! I think it's the best one I've written, so far. Thanks for reading, liking, replying and reblogging, everyone!

Also there's a spider in my bedroom, and I'm just like, please stay there, at the corner up the wall between my bed and the window, eat the flies, and don't come over here, otherwise you will die, thank you.

Fandoms: DC Comics, Batfamily, no Batcest, Thalassic Space (OC; takes inspiration The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Assassin's Creed: Black Flag, Silent Hill 2, Silent Hill 3, and other sci-fi, fantasy and horror titles, as well as original concepts, such as the science and lore of the galaxy.)

[In order of appearance] Characters: Faith Lawson (TBA; self-insert), Stephanie Brown (The Spoiler), Jason Todd (Red Hood), Barbara Gordon (Batgirl), Dick Grayson (Nightwing), Tim Drake (Red Robin), Bruce Wayne (Batman), Damian Wayne (Robin), Zatanna Zatara, Diana Prince (Wonder Woman), Dohannar Salmpho (OC), Wysherah Sōnā-Salmpho (OC), Ashanti Salmpho (OC).

Word Count: 10, 607 (post-revision; HOLY SHIT, THAT'S REAL? OH MY GOD, I REALLY DID WRITE THIS WITH MY PUSSY, DAMN!)

Content warning: Depressive, age-regression episode in which Faith talks about how her adoptive mother took away her toys, being more specific this time, and describes her favourite toy, Mr. Bunny, while showing similar pictures; fictional religious sermon in which Dohannar gives Faith all of her demigoddess powers; huge rational reaction from the Batkids following Tim's translation of Dohannar's offer; as Wonder Woman and Zatanna bring Faith out of the Dragon Tomb, Faith has a delusional panic attack in the darkness left by Batman's cape; the Batkids bully and mock Faith as she leaves with Wonder Woman and Zatanna.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7

Monday, February 12, 2024. 7:30 AM.

Faith and Stephanie, in daytime clothes, Faith wearing her olive green shirt with leggings, took turns using the toilet, the other brushing her hair or washing her hands and face. They descended, and Faith gasped, smiling, as she saw that Jason was loitering near the computer area, Dick, Barbara and Tim also present. "Oh my God, hi!" Said Faith.

Jason gave a warm smile. "Hi, Faith. Nice to finally meet you."

"Finally had a moment to spare?"

"Yeah. 'Should be fine until the evening. The others have been telling me that training's going well."

"Yeah, I haven't dislocated my knee yet, and I've still been having knee pops, but it's been going good."

"Good. Are you OK with going against me today?"

"I mean, I could try, sure!"

"All right, then."

"You should get some food in your tummy first, hon." Said Barbara. "There's eggs, bacon and toast for both of you, still on the stove and counter."

Stephanie said, "Oh, did Faith not tell y'all that she prefers sausage?"

"Oh, you do? Well, sorry, hon, we'll get some for you, for tomorrow."

"I mean, I'll eat it," Said Faith. "But yeah, that'd be nice, thanks." She and Stephanie filled a plate for themselves and sat at the table, eating quietly.

"'Thought you said she's a chatterbox." Jason said, sweeping his gaze among Dick, Barbara and Tim.

"Oh, she is," Said Tim. "But she can be quiet. It's not always time to ramble." Jason hummed.

Faith said, "Yeah, sometimes I've just got no loud thoughts, which is weird, 'cause there usually is. My brain is usually screaming. I have good mornings and days, sometimes, and sometimes it feels like they're really rare."

Jason hummed again. "Barbara said you take medication."

"Yeah, 75 miligrams of Quetiapine, and 25 miligrams of Quetiapine XR."

"Ah, OK. Do you do anything else to help with your mental health?"

"That isn't a distraction? Yeah, sometimes I make crafts or go outside. But it's winter, so I can't, right now."

"Eh, that's fair."

"Spring never comes fast enough, in Canada."

"Oh, that's right, you're from up north. How are you liking America?"

"Well, I've been to Texas for Easter of 2008 or '9 to see my adoptive dad's family."

"Oh, OK."

"She also hasn't been outside to actually experience America." Dick said, chuckling.

"Right. Well, you'd be screwed if we just let you loose now, even as a civi."

"Yep." Said Faith. She and Stephanie finished eating, then joined the group.

Dick said, "So, you've got the basics of how to prepare your body for combat, and how to react defensively. We're going to practice that today too, but we're thinking of teaching you how to land a proper blow, with accomodations for your little arms and hyptonia until Bruce has your gear ready, if you're willing to be really sore by the end of the day."

"Sure, that sounds good."

Batman entered the Belfry, accompanied by Robin, Wonder Woman and Zatanna. As they approached the Batkids, they watched Faith moving around Jason at a decent pace, who batted away her arms and legs with his own limbs and hit her ribs and appendages from time to time. Batman thought, 'No, no no no.' "Stop." He said.

"What's she doing wrong?" Jason replied.

"She's struggling to keep her eyes open and on her target because she's in pain, so she isn't hitting you as hard as she could be, and she isn't moving around you in an optimal way."

"Bruce, this is only her second day." Said Dick.

"If she keeps this up, it's going to become a habit, and that's not what we should be looking for."

"We're working with her, not against her. She's also not wearing any armour, so of course she's moving slower because of pain. In two days, she's been caught thirty-nine times, and had twenty-four falls from her knees popping. She's used to two pops with a possible fall every week, just from walking around and doing her job."

"Ow!" Faith cried, her right knee rotating and her leg flailing with it, momentum she used to distance herself from Jason, landing on her right leg, making Faith give a stuttered whimper as she held her left arm out and her other in front of her chest. Jason grabbed her left arm and pulled her close, and Faith put weight on her legs to move with Jason and swing behind him. "Ow, ow, ow!"

'She's letting him pull her muscles just to be able to move a little, that's not good. She shouldn't be doing that.'

Faith couldn't pry her arm from Jason's grasp. "Your enemy would have broken your arm by now." Jason said.

"I know! And they wouldn't let go of it, so I have to either not go behind and possibly fruitlessly work the front or sides, or take the beating, and losing is not what I'm trying to do here!"

Batman said, "What are you trying to do?"

"Get him down! 'Cause if he's on the ground, and he's not going to move, then I've won, and I can move on to the next!"

"Yes, but you should be fighting in a way that preserves your body and energy."

Barbara said, "Bruce, we've gone over this with her. We talk about her options while miming for at least fifteen minutes before we actually get moving. The only issue is that she's fragile. If you want to help, then give her something to wear already! We're doing all we can, and so is she!" The others hummed, nodding. Jason let go of Faith's arm.

"Ow." Faith shook out her limb, and massaged her muscles.

"Sorry, Faith."

"You're good, mmph."

"She's not the problem, Bruce. Her disability is." Said Jason.

Bruce quietly sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I was thinking about her like she's physically able, even though I've known from the beginning that she's not. You've all been doing the right thing." He opened one of his belt pockets, and pulled one end of a tailor's measuring tape with his left hand, the rest of the tape in his other hand. Faith's cheeks rose in a smile. It spread to Batman, a little. "How about we take your measurements now, and then I'll get out of your way?"

"Oh, you're not in the way." Faith said, approaching Bruce. He began to measure her right arm. "I just don't think you've had a kid with a disability like mine, before."

"No, I haven't."

"Hi, by the way, Wonder Woman and Zatanna!"

"Hi, Faith." Said Wonder Woman, she and Zatanna stepping around a little to get into Faith's field of view and Jason retreating to the desk area. "Would you mind chatting with us about Thalassic Space?"

"Sure, what are you wondering about?"

"You're able to make it exist and not-exist based on your faith on it, aren't you? That's how you manifestated your Animus, and why it vanished, right?"

"Yeah. They're my toys, but it's not always appropriate to play with them, so I pretend to be normal, like when I'm at work, and other times I'm too depressed to play with my toys. Did you find out that Urania's Celestial Globe is a Stage Prop when my faith is low?" Faith said. Bruce moved on to measure Faith's shoulders, chest and torso.

"Well, not just that." Said Zatanna. "The obisidian and goshenite asteroid belts appeared when you entered our world, though the ones near our sun had no magic, and they disappeared around five o'clock, last evening."

"Oh, that's because our sun isn't a magic sun."

"Ah."

"And they disappeared when Dick urged me to make a change so Ra's couldn't abuse the loophole."

"You made a loophole?" Zatanna sounded concerned.

"So, because Ra's is a demon, Platonia, the Nero Spirits and the Umbrella Man left him alone. He was allowed to enter Platonia whenever he wanted. And that could have, no, sorry, would have led to him finding out everything about Red Storm Earth and me, and learning about the Invitation of Nerobzal."

"Yes, Urania informed us, after you burned part of the forest behind Wayne Manor." Said Wonder Woman.

"It's awfully grim." Zatanna said to Faith.

Faith sounded defeated. "Sorry, I thought it made sense as a way to tie demons and monsters in to the lore of Thalassic Space."

"Oh, it does. Don't remove it just because you were made aware that you shouldn't let happen here so easily, OK?"

"I just want to be a good writer, is all."

"I didn't mean to say you're bad at writing." Zatanna said. Bruce started to measure Faith's hips, legs and feet, accounting for her deformed right foot.

"She's had a rough life." Said Stephanie. "Writers do this sorta thing all the time."

"That's true. I'm sorry, Faith, I really didn't mean to offend."

Faith sounded a little more confident. "No, you're fine. Ra's can no longer access Thalassic Space or its knowledge. He'll just see me as a girl with dragon powers and etcetera, relating to my Relics and magic Costume. Dick made me aware of the loophole, and now Apopis is blocking Ra's for good. There's no punishment, it's just a ban order."

"Good."

Faith sounded defeated, again, but her voice sounded child-like. "Are you here because you want me to end the story due to something bad happening elsewhere?"

"Oh no, is she about to age-regress?" Stephanie half-whispered to the other Batkids.

"I think so." Said Dick. Barbara nodded, she, Dick and Tim looking at Faith with pity.

"Oh, no. No, sweetheart." Zatanna said, holding Faith's wrists in her hands. "We need your faith! Otherwise, we can't observe the asteroid belts, and you won't be able to help us and the world, or yourself, in the future. We want you to succeed. And I know that your new friends in the Batfamily want you to be happy."

Faith's cheeks rose, but she looked sad. She said, monotonously, "I've never been happy before." Bruce paused, then resumed measuring Faith's left shin.

"Oh, that can't be true."

"All I remember is being alone," Faith began to cry. Zatanna moved her hands up to Faith's biceps. Her voice went full regression to that of a chlid's. "And my mom taking away my toys, like my dress-up lace fan that I was playing with one night that she broke in front of me, my Littlest Pet Shop collection that I apparently grew out of, like my Barbies, and I had Erica, and she's worth five hundred dollars now, and I'm sorry that I drew on her face, and then i had to throw away Mr. Bunny-hee-hee." Faith sobbed and lowered her head. Bruce stood, and put away the tailor's measuring tape.

"But that was because we'd just confirmed I was moving out, but I never got to take care of him, he hadn't been washed in years, and his neck was torn, but he was my favouri-ite, he was my friend and my roleplay buddy through all of the media I ever liked. When I put him in the garbage at the homestead, I," Faith pulled away from Zatanna and began to mime. "I laid down with him on my mattress on the floor in the cold room, 'cause I wasn't supposed to still be living with my parents, but I was so sad and scared of seeing Todd again and starving, and I knew I couldn't work a job because of my disability, wh-which I can, but it's really hard, and I," A pillow came flying from the bedroom upstairs into Faith's arms. "I kissed him and hugged him, I really hugged him." Faith did this to the pillow.

"And then I went out into the main room, I lifted up the lid, and I put him in the garbage. And my dad looked at me, I don't know what kinda, I-I think it was a face of concern, and then I went into my room to my laptop, and he opened the blanket that was the door for the cold room at the time, and he asked, "Are you OK, sweetie?", and I said, "Yeah, I'm OK. It's time." And he quietly told my mom, and she said, "Wow." And other things I didn't hear, but, but I just wi-hi-hi-hish!" Faith cowered to the floor, sitting on her knees. Zatanna and Bruce came down with her. Wonder Woman crouched as well, the next second.

"I wish I was allowed to take care of him! I wish Mom hadn't said that fourteen is too old for Barbie, and I wish she had told me why for all of the shit I did as a kid, 'cause I've always been better with more words, and now I'm just here! I'm here, with no Mr. Bunny, and no Dad, and even Milo is gone, my mom's Chihuahua is gone, and the trailer house we lived at is in shit condition, and I just wanna go home!" Faith wept loudly. Zatanna tsked and hugged Faith. Barbara wiped tears, Dick and Tim pouted and looked at each other, Stephanie sighed, staring at Faith's sad face, and Jason had a sympathetic expression as he looked at Faith.

"I'm sorry." Said Zatanna.

Tim said, "Mr. Bunny is new."

"Yep." Said Dick.

"I found a "Mr. Bunny" in one of the dumpsters outside." Jason said.

"Ew, Jason, no!" Barbara hissed.

Zatanna asked, "What did Mr. Bunny look like, Faith?"

Faith sounded normal. "Well, I tried finding him online, but I couldn't quite. I saved two pictures on my phone that, if put together, would be him, though." Stephanie picked up Faith's phone from the table and brought it over. Zatanna removed her hands from Faith's arms to let Faith unlock the phone, opened the Photos app, and go to Favourites as Batman and Wonder Woman stood behind Zatanna to look. She opened a picture of a blue and white floppy-eared 14" rabbit plush with black bead eyes, a pink nose, the framing of the toy implying a sewn smile, a pink bow with red stripes and a yellow border around its neck, white front paws, a white face and inner ears, and embroidered blue toe beans on its large hind feet.

"This one's got the toe beans Mr. Bunny had, and the inner ears, face, stomach and feet are all white, like his was." Faith swiped right. The next image was a pink and white floppy-eared 14" rabbit plush with the same black eyes, pink nose, white front paws and belly. The sewn smile was visible in this photo. The toy's hind paws were pink, the upper white area gathered into three toes, its inner ears were pink, and it had a pink ribbon bow around its neck. "But this one is the right colour, and has the right bow. But the bow was made of chifon, not silk."

"May we see too, Faith?" Said Barbara. Faith nodded and offered her phone to the air. Barbara came forward and took the phone, and looked at the photos with Dick. "Aw, I bet he was cute!"

"Yeah, cute." Dick said. Barbara gave the phone to Tim for him, Stephanie and Jason to look at.

"Huh, OK." Said Tim.

"Aw, I want a Mr. Bunny, too!" Stephanie said. Faith giggled.

"He looks cosy." Said Jason. Faith nodded, smiling softly. Tim locked Faith's phone and put it back on the table.

Faith looked at Batman , a tear falling from her left eye, and sobbingly said, "I miss him." Batman crouched with Faith, Zatanna and Wonder Woman joining a moment later. "But I can't find him, so I have to try and fill the space. No fictional person, no other toy is Mr. Bunny. He's why I love soft things. He's why I collect plushies. I have other friends, but I don't have him."

Batman hummed. "You had a very special friend."

Faith nodded, a tear falling from her right eye. "I did." Batman sighed and pulled Faith into his chest. Faith wailed. She cried for a whole minute.

'Zatanna? Wonder Woman?' Batman thought, as Faith cried.

'Yes, Batman?' Replied Wonder Woman.

'I think we've all seen, and from her stories gathered that Faith needs to cry badly.'

'Mhm.' Wonder Woman replied, she and Zatanna nodding.

'The two things she wants to cry about are her dad and Mr. Bunny. Because of the lectures she recieved from her adoptive mother, she feels that crying for herself is inappropriate, and considered a pity-party. She's only ever been able to cry alone.'

'Poor girl.' Zatanna thought.

'She likely knows that a therapist would understand and have the right thing to say, know the right actions to suggest. But she's been living this sad life for so long, with her body, that she can't believe in that advice, or begin on that path. That is, when she was alone, and had no friends.'

'Right.' Thought Wonder Woman. 'So, she's on the right track, now that she's got all of us.'

'Yes. We should go through with our plans for you to help her with her mystical arts,' Zatanna and Wonder Woman nodded. 'While my family helps her physical condition improve. We'll all do our part to help her mind and heart heal. Her visit to the group home only did so much. She came home to a family that loved her, yes, but they didn't talk to her, didn't ask questions that needed to be asked years ago, didn't apologise and amend for things that happened years ago.'

'It's time.' Thought Wonder Woman. Zatanna and Batman nodded. Faith sighed, panted twice, and burped.

"Better?" Batman inquired.

Faith nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Stephanie!"

"Yeah?"

"Chalk!"

"Oh, you wanna do that now?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"You want to get your Relics and Costume." Said Zatanna, as Stephanie picked up the box of chalk from the desk and made her way over. "That's a great idea." Faith nodded, standing to recieve the chalk. Batman, Wonder Woman and Zatanna rose to their feet, as well.

"Oh, wait. I'm too short to draw a door. It doesn't have to be fancy, just tall enough for us to walk through."

"May I?" Said Zatanna. Faith nodded, a smile on her cheeks. They went to the wall opposite of the Belfry's entrance, Wonder Woman and Stephanie close behind, Batman a little father but also following, Dick, Barbara and Tim walking over to watch, Damian and Jason staying where they were. Zatanna drew a door on the wall with the chalk. Faith extended her right hand, palm towards the floor, and a drawer of the kitchen rattled. "Wait!" Faith closed her hand. "You'll hurt yourself, and not in the way you mean to!"

"Yeah, that's a good way to stab yourself, or lose your hand, Faith." Said Dick. Barbara and Tim nodded, humming different tones of agreement.

"Here." Batman closed the distance, and pricked Faith's right index finger with a needle.

"Oh, thank you." Faith wrote in the door: Tot thoe Checkpotinat otut'si'de otph thoe Totmab otph thoe Gotsihoenaite Sitafrgafzer Drafgotna, Laittlae Paftho, Thoafla'si'ic Sipafce.

"To the Checkpoint outside of the Tomb of the Goshenite Stargazer Dragon, Little Path, Thalassic Space." Batman read aloud.

"Yep! We're playing Skyrim, baby!" Faith laugh.

"Skyrim, baby!" Stephanie echoed, she, Barbara, Dick, Zatanna and Wonder Woman laughing with Faith. Faith knocked on the wall eight times. The chalk outline became a portal, oulined in white-blue light, to a snowy hill overlooking a hole in which scoffolding led down to a pair of Nordic iron doors.

"Behold! Saarthal, but it's different inside!" Said Faith. "No need to worry about the portal, this area of Little Path is deserted, except for wildlife. The only thing that'll maybe come through are rabbits, foxes and Pixies. This hill has no hostile enemies." Batman heard the doors opening again, and two pairs of footsteps.

"OK." Said Zatanna. "Let's go, then." Faith nodded, and led Zatanna, Stephanie, Wonder Woman, Batman, Dick, Barbara and Tim inside. They walked the scaffolding, and Faith opened the doors. They crossed the first half of the excavation via the remnants of stone bridges of the pillars and the wooden ramps that had been built to access the second chambers with connected passageways.

"Wow, this is literally Saarthal." Said Tim.

"Yes, it's exactly Saarthal, until the last room." Faith said.

"Garf!" "Grr-arf!" Said the four large, amorphous, earthen masses of brown slime shuffling about below.

"What are those?" Asked Jason.

"Slicks. SCP-999, but they eat waste, and they're made from dirt, sand and clay."

"Ha! Nice." Said Tim.

"Depending on what you feed them, they give things back, or make fireworks, gemstones or copper, silver or gold coins, which are called Gore, Grief and Guilt. Left-wing things."

"Right." Said Wonder Woman.

"They're commonly placed in dumpsters and outhouses, and are used by organic-favouring mages and alchemists as vacuum cleaners. Their natural habitats are sewage lines and landfills."

"So you've got both helpful and harmful creatures, OK." Said Zatanna.

"Yeah! Like, there's also Wicks, which are furnace slimes, often used by blacksmiths and also used to keep houses warm." Faith entered the passageways with scattered alchemy ingredients. "Even poor families are allowed one, so no stories of people freezing to death happen unless the Wick has been eaten by a Wyrm, spelled with a y. Wingless dragons with long tails. They're exactly the ones from The Lord of the Rings Online."

"Ah, OK. So you really have put a bunch of things that you liked from other stories into your own. I like that."

Stephanie said, "Yeah, isn't it cool?" Zatanna nodded, humming.

"Aw, thank you. Um, there's also Shifts, which are literally danger brooms." Faith pressed her hand to the wall where the Amulet of Saarthal would have been, a Double Eight in its place. It hummed and shone at her touched, and the way forward opened.

"Danger brooms?" Wonder Woman chuckled.

"Yeah! Imagine a stickman, but covered in sharp bristles. And they shake like nuts, and they pierce through anything weaker than chainmail." Faith said, reaching the lever and opening the gate into a circular room with ten vertical coffins. "Oh, and don't worry about the draugr. They can smell me, so they're assuming you're with me until I call for help." She led the others inside and around the right side of the room. "Shifts are technically insect demons. You know those really spiky caterpillars?"

"Ohhh."

"Yeah, they're inspired by those, weird colours and all." Faith stopped at the door to Saarthal proper. "Uh, and those are like, the basic four monsters of Thalassic Space. Most of the rest are literally or inspired by mythology, or some kind of animal that's been mutated." Wonder Woman hummed. Faith pulled the chains to open the door, and led the group into the antechamber.

They passed the draugr, and Faith crouched and touched the fire rune trap at the first turn, causing it to break with the sound of falling ashes. They walked on to the iron door, strode past the burial niches, and Faith walked the north wall, touching each stone pillar as she went to display Eagle, Snake and Whale. "Tim, do you have the pillars along the south wall?"

"Yep." Tim replied, turning the other three pillars to show Whale, Eagle and Eagle. The group stepped past the puzzle gate and down the stairs into a large room. Faith waved her right hand in front of the cobwebbed doorway, and the webs disappeared. She crouched to deal with a shock rune trap along the way, and another at the entrance to the next room, which had four pillars and a lever in the middle. The heroes noticed three feline people lounging on a dark blue chaise and a matching long sofa in front of a fireplace in the next room.

Faith said as she walked, "Southeast." She touched the pillar. The felines looked at each other, and began to cry.

"Northeast." Tim touched this pillar. The grey tabby feline rose from the chaise, where a calico feline sat. The other, a white feline, was seated on the couch.

"Southwest."

"And northwest. Who wants to pull the lever?"

"May I?" Said Barbara.

"Sure!" Said Faith. Barbara pulled the switch. The gate forward opened. "Woo hoo!"

"Faith?" An alto voiced grey tabby feline gingerly said, approaching the doorway. She was 5'7" tall.

Faith moved her eyes and head from Barbara to the feline, and sounded like she was going to cry. "Wysherah." She whimpered, stimulating her little forearms with excited shakes, and hurried into the arms of the cat as the other felines rose and came over.

Wysherah hugged Faith kindly, purring into the girl's head. "Yes, hello, Starwriter. Welcome back."

"Phafitho." The tenor voiced calico said, his voice distorted by the strain in his throat. He was 6" tall.

"Dohannar." Faith was smoothly released from Wysherah into Dohannar. His hug was firm, and he desperately nuzzled his neck over Faith's head, and his face over hers.

"Mayl thoird qutafrter, mayl siutna."

"What's he saying?" Stephanie quietly asked.

"'My third quarter, my sun.'" Batman translated.

Wysherah said, "I am his first, his faith in Vishnu is his second, she is his third, and our daughter," She looked to the third cat, who was 5'1" tall. "Ashanti, is his fourth. Ashanti would not have been born again after my murder if Faith, as Faina, had not found my kitten as she laid alone, in the Ninth Circle's Perimeter, when Faina was hiding from Nero Dionysus, as he was chased by the Demon Hunters." Dohannar stopped nuzzling all over Faith, and held her as he purred.

"Mothers and children are precious to all worthy gods, and so when I and Ashanti died, we were to be reborn. But because Nerobzal was in Yahweh's mind, we could not reach our bardo, and our karmas were pulled through space. Eighty-three years passed before Dohannar was freed from enslavement to Nero Ba'al Berith by Canon Michael, and then he summmoned Faina, and that led to Ashanti's and my freedom." Wysherah said. Dohannar ended the hug, gently playing with Faith's hair starting from her scalp, Faith giggling.

"But I was scared to be pregnant with Ashanti again, as Kaleido was still active. Dohannar and I gave our memories of Ashanti, when she was in my womb," Dohannar removed his hand from Faith's head, and the two stood and listened to Wysherah. "And her soul to Faina, who I am sure you know is the third incarnation of the O-type star's spirit, and a Soul Fragment of Faith representing autumn, a season of harvest, cool weather, and festivities regarding thanks for Gaia before Old Man Winter comes to cover the cold lands with his white robe. As I was days away from my due date, so was Faina, when Dohannar laid with her using the Cult of Asherah ritual Faina had found in the Deep Sea City of Yotutrnaeyl, one of the secrets Nero Dionysus had been hiding and using to abuse the merfolk of Yotutrnaeyl. Ashanit's birth led to Nerobzal's defeat, and Faina, and through her, Faith, overcame her fear of pregnancy and childbirth. Ashanti, and the idea of her, is a promised child with great love, kindness and courage, born at last with the power of trust, friendship, and the divine grace of Asherah, a life born to remember who Yahweh is supposed to be to men, women and children."

"Wow." Said Barbara.

"Faith wrote that, too?" Said Stephanie.

"Yes." Said Wysherah.

"Damn, that's fire!" Stephanie said. Wysherah chuckled with Barbara, Dick, Tim, Batman, Wonder Woman and Zatanna.

"I think it's easy to surmise that you're named after Asherah and the word 'wish'." Said Wonder Woman.

"Yes, but wish is spelled with a y." Wysherah made eye contact with Faith. "You're here to retrieve your birthrights and recieve the sermon to officiate yourself as Ulia-Ønske, yes?"

"Yes, and return my tooth, as my powers are awake now, so it can be where it belongs until I die again and am reborn or resurrected." Faith summoned the tooth out of the air into her right hand.

"Very good. Let's go together. Guests: when we arrive at the island, please do not pass the golden tiles in front of the double-coffin and altar, unless you want to fight the Dragon Priests." Wysherah walked through the next room, Dohannar and Faith behind her. Ashanti meowed and lunged into a hug, Dohannar holding Faith steady as Faith laughed and hugged Ashanti.

"Hi, baby girl." Said Faith.

"Hi, Mama!" Said Ashanti, a soprano-range teenager. Faith walked with Ashanti attached to her, Dohannar just behind to Faith's right. The heroes noted several chests with treasure, near the door to the puzzle, three dressers and wardrobes and two beds, a queen and a double, to the upper left, the lounge area to the lower left, a table set with four chairs to the upper right, and an empty space with a beautiful purple, blue and magenta carpet to the lower left.

"This is room much bigger and different than the one in-game." Said Tim.

Faith said, "I had to make a little home for my cats, my," She looked at Dohannar, redness in her cheeks. "My wish family." Dohannar smiled softly, and caressed her right cheek with his left paw-hand. As they approached the door, Wysherah pushed it open.

"Holy mega structures. This room is three times as big, as in Skyrim." Said Tim. Before them was a very long arching bridge surrounded by water, and at its end an island of stone with ten standing sarcophagi and an open coffin made for two, and a stone altar. The stone walls were given depth and colour by the gold painted vines, some parts unpainted as moss and mushrooms had grown with the flowers.

"This bridge is 287 paces." Batman thought aloud.

"Wow!"

"Correct." Said Wysherah.

The first thirty paces was built with smooth grey stone that became clay bricks with unique rocks, held together by wet dirt and coloured by yellow sand. Along its railings were many candles, some melted and the wick folded into the wax, others close to nothing and the wick barely alight, more halfway burned and more yet seemingly new and tall. There were flowers, perennials and annuals, and wooden vines painted gold strewn about the stone floor and draped over the railing. Pages with children's drawings of a golden tree read 'At'fman Lawbzal' and sometimes also 'Farewell and warm wishes for the next life of the Last Son of Bartholomew, Argophael, Animus of the Lost Daughter, Ulia-Ønske, Ego of that Animus and First Life of the Great Little Starwriter, who shall both rest here until Ulia-Ønske is reborn by the grace of the pantheons as Faith Lawson', written by older children or adults. Other pages had letters to Argophael and-or Ulia-Ønske, the golden tree drawn somewhere. Gemstones and polished rocks scattered about the pages, sometimes buried in the wax. Dirt, sand, and clay gave natural texture to the bridge from the thirty-first pace until the 287th.

Batman said, "Slicks and Wicks are made from dirt, sand and clay. They made the bridge longer, as the years went on."

Wysherah said, "Yes. They come here to die, sometimes. They live for two years, if they do not return to planet Grace for a week every other month. Grace is where their mother, Darisela, a canine earth elemental, lives. Their father is Decelep, a sea and sky serpent, and the only son of Mother Mermaid, who needs no man to procreate, and who terraformed planet Grace after the O-type star collided with the M- and G-type stars. The magic of the Slicks and Wicks ensures that this bridge, and all of the notes and flowers, do not weather, and allowed the bridge to expand as the pantheons and their children, and their followers, told the story of Argophael and Ulia-Ønske to Thalassic Space. The planet we occupy now, Little Path, is where Father Dragon lives with the Dragon Kin, away from the blades and cruel magic of Kaleido, before Kitsch was corrupteed to be so, and after it was reclaimed as Kirei."

"Italian vampires to Japanese vampires." Said Dick.

"Yes. Little Path and its moon, the Realm of Tree Peoples, were created by Father Dragon. While you now have context about who sculpted Grace, it might interest you to know that Bafsina was molded by the Tree Peoples, who travelled to the planet when they bulit spaceships, twenty-one years after they had spawned from the departed of Earth in the early 1600's. Bafsina is mostly water with islands, Plains and small continents, of course, and because of this is more of a water planet than Grace is, with two large continents and numerous islands and Plains, but not as many as Bafsina hosts."

"Huh." Said Dick. "So who terraformed planet Sia and Judge?"

"May I suggest you reverse the order, when listing them in the future, as sia means six?"

"Oh, yeah sure, sorry."

"It's not a worrysome thing, just a note. Judge was terraformed by the earliest citizens and lucid dreamers who visited the Dream World on Paper. That's why Krampus took hold of it so easily."

"Oh, Krampus did more than slaughter the Snow Elves and Astral Elves?"

"Yes. Judge is the place he occupied, afterwards. And no one was brave and foolish enough to challenge him until Bafsina was united after the Palette Civil War, and now Krampus lives in Platonia with his father, Nerobzal, and so does Bartholomew, who brought evil to both Grace and Yotutrnaeyl, as the transgender pirate captain Arles led the sea efforts to damage the Naglfar enough that the dead spilled into the ocean and were devoured by the corrupted merfolk that the Cloud Casters had lured from the Deep Sea City of Yotutrnaeyl, where Nero Dionysus had used his powers of debauchery to control Canon Poseidon. This feast upon the dead cancelled out the evil that Nero Dionysus had bloomed in the Five Mortal Qualities of the merfolk, who were immediately called to action by the Mermaid Mage Celia Nacre from planet Grace, and together, with the pirate ships and the natural winds, rain and dangerous tides of the squall, the Naglfar sunk into the ocean of Thalassic Space until it reached the space of Thalassic Space, to be there and be impossible to reach or summon ever again."

"Wow. That's really good stuff, Faith."

"Thank you!"

"As for Sia: it's a planet of dark forests, treacherous mountains and ravines, and rivers and lakes of dark magic coloured waters sculpted by the Passerine Sisters, Nero Spirits so powerful that they were declared as demons by Canon Lucifer and the Flytower Gods. Their Bird Personas, seen by the Oracles in dreams, were fated to be the houses of Cedillo Imagination Magic Academy, and the behaviours of each bird inspired the personality and life of each sister and the kind of student that the school phoenix, Illumine, would assign to each house. The Lightless Realm and Lightful Realm are Sia's moons, but are only visible when traversing Platonia."

"How did the room itself expand?" Asked Tim.

"Dohannar and I did the work. The candles melt, as they do naturally, and are replaced if the worshipper who placed it still lives. This bridge was only fifty paces, when Argophael and Ulia-Ønske, died. 687 years have passed, as you for sure know."

"Wow." Said Barbara, breathily. "This is all so much more than you described to us, Faith."

"Well, I was trying to be brief." Faith replied.

"True."

Wysherah said, "Were you told that the waters are from Pierian Spring?"

"Yeah." Said Barbara.

"Did Faith, or perhaps a visiting Urania, mention to anyone that they have healing properties?"

"Yes," Said Wonder Woman. "Frejya and Freyr brought Ønske to the spring, after she was severely wounded by a beast."

"Yes, that's right." Wysherah said. The group eventually came to the island. Everyone but the cats and Faith stopped in front of the golden tiles. Faith paused and glanced left, at the open coffin. It was made of stone, and the left side was lined with blue satin, the other side with white satin.

"What does he look like, Faith?" Stephanie asked. Dohannar and Wysherah proceeded to the altar, Dohannar standing in front and opening the closed tome bound in white and blue dyed leather, and Wysherah standing at the left side of the altar.

"Nero from Devil May Cry." Faith said.

Stephanie failed to not laugh, stifling it in her throat. "Sorry."

"No no, you're fine. Him, but cuter. With my round face, and my nice, round cheeks, and big, round eyes, but with Nero's jawline, white hair and blue eyes."

"Ah."

"I thought that, if I could be a boy, I would want to look like that."

"Aw, that's nice."

"Thank you. Flashing lights and eye-strain warning, by the way." Faith said. She continued, and stopped at the altar, in front of which stood Dohannar, Wysherah to the left. Ashanti broke away from Faith and stood to the right of the altar. Faith knelt in front of Dohannar with both knees, her head bowed and her hands flat on her stomach, left hand over her right.

"If you would all please kneel, on one knee or both, in respect to the pantheons and the O-type star's spirit that is within Faith, and Argophael, who is resting yet shall also contribute to the ritual in that he is her Animus." Said Wysherah. Stephanie, Barbara knelt with both knees, Dick, Tim, Wonder Woman and Zatanna knelt with one knee, all readily. Batman did with one knee, the next second, and several seconds later, so did Jason, also with one knee. "Thank you. Batman, since you seem to understand Neofom, you are welcome to translate Dohannar's sermon, which has Four Declarations." Batman nodded. Wysherah and Ashanti raised their arms to the ceiling and began to chant At'fman Lawbzal repeatedly with two seconds between each repetition.

Dohannar removed the white ebony dagger and scallop seashell necklace from the altar, where there was also a closed tome. As he spoke, he placed the necklace over Faith's head for her to wear, and cut a shallow cross with the dagger on her upper chest, Faith's closed eyes wincing. Dohannar placed the dagger in front of Faith, on the floor. He said, "Utnaresitinag eylesi otph thoe pafnathoeotna, wae cotma'afnad ylotut tot lot'k aft thoisi waotma'na, afnad remaemaber thoaft sihoe wa'si Ulia-Ønske, dafutghoter otph Víðarr afnad Skuld, photsitered byl Frejya afnad Freyr, maenatotred byl Urania afnad Uriel, afnad thoaft sihoe isi thoe otnoe afnad otnalayl vesi'ela afnad ma'naiphesitaftiotna otph thoe Ot-tylpe sitafr'si sipirit, phorever afnad ever, ina eafcho laiphe, ina eacho yleafr, afnad ina eafch gafla'xyl afnad utnaiversie."

As Dohannar spoke, Batman translated. "Unresting eyes of the pantheon, we command you to look at this woman, and remember that she was Ulia-Ønske, daughter of Víðarr and Skuld, fostered by Frejya and Freyr, mentored by Urania and Uriel, and that she is the one and only vessel and manifestation of the O-type star's spirit, forever and ever, in each life, in each year, and in each galaxy and universe."

Dohannar paused after the First Declaration, and Wysherah and Ashanti pumped their arms in the air, saying. "At'fman Lawbzal!" With a little more volume, not quite a shout.

Dohannar said with a kind tone, "Utnaresitinag hoafnads otph thoe pafnatheotna, wae cotma'nad ylotut tot blaesi thoe Phive Maotrtafla Quaflaitiesi otph thoisi waotma'na, afnad waho'la'yl maerge thoema waitho tho'sie otph Ulia-Ønske siot thoaft sihoe ma'y' phulafphila' hoer Rotlae afsi Pla'ywarighot otph thoe Rotnadot Thoeaftre afnad Greaft Laittlae Sitafrwariter, waitho afla' otph hoer Persiotna'si: thoe Gotsihenoite Sitafrgafzer Drafgotna, Skinne, si'red byl Skjør afnad birthoed afnad besitotwaed byl Frodig; Solas thoe Phafiryl Persiotna' afsi besitotwaed byl Duna; Ønske thoe Maerma'id Persiotna' afsi besitotwaed byl Urania; afnad hoer Nerot Persiotna', Odeya." Faith suddenly shone bright white-blue. "Ma'yl thoesie potwaersi prot'ect hoer afnad phrienads photr thoe got'd otph laiphe afnad af'terlaiphe, phorever afnad ever, ina eafcho laiphe, ina eafch yleafr, afnad ina eafch gafla'xy' afnad utnaiversie."

"Unresting hands of the pantheon, we command you to bless the Five Mortal Qualities of this woman, and wholly merge them with those of Ulia-Ønske so that she may fulfill her Role as Playwright of the Rondo Theatre and Great Little Starwriter, with her Personas: the Goshenite Stargazer Dragon, Skinne, sired by Skjør and birthed and bestowed by Frodig; Solas the Fairy Persona as bestowed by Duna; Ønske the Mermaid Persona as bestowed by Urania; and her Nero Persona, Odeya. May these powers protect her and friends for the good of life and afterlife, forever and ever, in each life, in each year, and in each galaxy and universe."

Dohannar paused again, and Wysherah and Ashanti pumped their arms again, saying, "At'fman Lawbzal!" At a controlled shout.

Dohannar raised his voice, but did not shout. "Utnaresitinag voticesi otph thoe pafnathoeotna, wae cotma'nad ylotut tot si'nag," Feminine and masculine voices began to fill the air with beautiful sounds. "Wae cotma'nad ylotut tot siho'ut," Voices joined that shouted with courage and pain. "Wae cotma'nad ylotut tot cryl," Voices sobbed, calling for Ulia, Ønske, Argophael, and others the heroes didn't recognise, but soon realised were the names of loved ones. "Photr thoisi waotma'na hoafsi retutrnaed tot hoer ho'mae afmaotnagsit ylotut, afnad wae cotma'nad ylotut tot laofve hoer totdafyl afsi sihoe wa'si laofved ina thoe pafsit byl ylotut afnad ylotutr peotplae," A truly massive stargazer lily, pink, yellow and white, suddenly bloomed from the center of the ceiling, releasing delicate golden sparkles that showered the cat anthros and people below. Jaws were dropped and smiles were shown by the Batkids, and Wonder Woman and Zatanna smiled and chuckled. The two heroines looked at Batman and saw a little smile on his face as he looked down from the big flower at Faith. "Afnad byl thoe peofplae thoaft thoe Ot-tylpe sitafr birthoed afnad givesi ho'mae, lfighot afnad ma'gic tot, afnad ylotutr bafrdsi afnad Pla'ywarighotsi, ylotutr choiladrena afnad thoeir photla'otwaersi, enatertafinamaenat afnad cotma'utnaityl, lotversi afnad phrienadsi, maeafnainag ina laiphe afnad ina afphterlaiphe."

"Unresting voices of the pantheon, we command you to sing, we command you to shout, we command you to cry, for this woman has returned to her home amongst you, and we command you to love her today as she was loved in the past by you and your people, and by the people that the O-type star birthed and gives home, light and magic to, and your bards and Playwrights, your children and their followers, entertainment and community, lovers and friends, meaning in life and in afterlife."

Dohannar stopped, and Wysherah and Ashanti repeated their motion and shouted louder, "At'fman Lawbzal!"

Dohannar shouted loudly, "Utnaresitinag Phlayltotwaer! Cotmae! Cotmae afnad siee thoisi choilad, cotmae afnad siee thoisi waotma'na!" The ceiling opened up to space as Dohannar called for the Flytower to come and see, and many eyes of different colours and shapes attached to different faces took the place of each star. "Cotmae afnad grafnat hoer afla' thoaft sihoe hoafsi ma'de," Seven magic circles, familiar to Batman and Tim, appeared over seven particular pairs of eyes, identifying each deity. "Afnad afla' thoaft sihoe cafna ma'ke, afnad laet ylotutr pafsitsi afnad phut'utresi ina pafrt be expresi'ed thorotutgho hoer breaftho afnad afrt," Three pieces of construction paper, blue, purple and pink, appeared and flew around Faith. "Thorotutgho hoer botdyl afnad ma'gic," The white-blue shine around Faith merged with her body.

"Unresting Flytower! Come! Come and see this child, come and see this woman! Come and grant her all that she has made, and all that she can make, and let your pasts and futures in part be expressed through her breath and art, through her body and magic,"

"Afnad laet it be reyoticed afnad resipected byl everyl bafrd afnad Pla'ylwarighot,"

"And let it be rejoiced and respected by every bard and Playwright,"

The sky shouted, "HOORAH!"

"Byl afla' choiladrena afnad photla'otwaersi,"

"By all children and followers,"

"HOORAH!"

"Photr enatertafinamaeant afnad cotma'utnaityl,"

"For entertainment and community,"

"HOORAH!"

"Afnad photr laotversi afnad phrienadsi, tot deiscribe maeafnaiang ina laiphe afnad afphterlaiphe!"

"And for lovers and friends, to describe meaning in life and afterlife!"

"HOORAH!"

"AT'FMAN LAWBZAL!" Wysherah and Ashanti screamed, beams of white light bursting from their hands and phasing into space, and collecting every eye, magic circle and voice above until the ceiling had returned, and, with shouts of great endeavour, released all of the light, space, divine eyes, sounds and colours into Faith, who flashed the colours of the magic circles eight times, Batman counted. Faith sighed and opened her eyes, her hot breath white-blue. Dohannar applauded, an proud smile on his feline features, and Faith stood, meeting Dohannar's gaze with love. Wysherah and Ashanti lowered their arms and applauded with adoring smiles too, and Faith looked at them lovingly as well.

"You may applaud too, if you would like." Said Wysherah.

"You may now also stand." Ashanti quickly said.

"Faith has now fully become a demigoddess!"

"Woo hoo!" Said Stephanie and Barbara, immediately clapping along and getting to their feet, as did Tim, Dick, Wonder Woman and Zatanna, Batman standing and clapping a second later, Jason barely a second afterwards. Damian did not applaud, but he did stand.

"Yay!" Said Tim.

"Yay, Faith!" Dick said.

"Congrats." Jason said.

"My eyes hurt, but that was sort of cool." Said Damian.

"Damian." Said Batman.

"Sorry. It was... it was pretty freaking cool." Damian clapped along, Batman noting that it was with normal energy, which made him thankful. "Very fancy. I imagine this entire scene has increased the word count by seventy-five percent."

"Yeah, that's about right!" Said Faith, bending down to pick up the dagger. Dohannar draped leather satchelbag with a white leather sheath over Faith's right shoulder. "Thank you." Faith said, sheathing the dagger.

"Thank you, Damian." Batman said. The applause ended.

"Thanks for even coming through the portal, Damian." Faith said, looking at the boy. "You didn't have to. Thanks to you too, Jason. I know you don't like magic."

"Well, it's not every day you get to see, well, this." Jason said. He pointed at the ceiling. "That," He spung his finger around. "Was really impressive. I really wanna read how you described it."

"Thank you. It is on Tumblr. My account is @starwriterulia. He he."

Stephanie giggled. "Self-shout out!"

"Shameless plug!" Faith and Stephanie laughed. Barbara, Wonder Woman and Zatanna giggled, and Dick and Tim chuckled.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yes, Tim?"

"How big is that flower?" Tim pointed with his left hand.

"8.26 m, or 27 ft 11⁄4 in."

Faith said, "I looked up 'world's biggest dump truck' and was given Belaz 75710. That's it's height."

"Mhm." Batman nodded to confirm.

"Holy Gigas Liliaceae, that's a big flower!" Dick exclaimed. Faith laughed, joined by the other Batkids, Jason nodding and chuckling, Damian rolling his eyes but sort of nodding, Batman nodding with a hum in the cursive way a parent would say, 'Yes, what a distinguished specimen!'. Wonder Woman and Zatanna laughed. too.

"I like Stargazer Lilies!" Faith said, during the laughter.

"Well, you may all now return to, uh Earth Prime, is it?" Wysherah looked at Dohannar, who nodded. "Yes, Earth Prime. You are welcome to visit again using the chalk door portal Faith undoubtedly drew in a trusted location, which, I will clarify, may only be used by people who either Faith trusts, or who any of you trust."

"How do we close it?" Asked Barbara.

"You knock eight times on the portal without your hand passing through. You may simply wash away the chalk door with water. Ah, but to enter this place and not only leave the draugr asleep but to walk with the Great Little Starwriter is a blessing."

"We are blessed to have her in the family." Said Batman. Faith blushed and turned her head down, diagonally, as the other Batkids nodded, humming different tones of agreement.

"Thank you." Faith said, meekly. Then, confidently, "Let's go." The group walked back over the bridge. As the group moved to leave the house chambers, Dohannar gently took hold of Faith's right bicep, and gave a mew. Faith instantly looked Dohannar in the eye. "What is it, my quarter?"

"Si'nace ylotut afre naotwa si'blainagsi afnad dafutghoter tot thoe peotplae ylotut waotutlad hoafve warittena ylotutrsielaph tot hoafve siex waitho," Faith's face became bright red, and she hid her face with her left hand connected to her forehead. Tim's jaw dropped as he looked at Batman, who looked at Faith with his head tilted forward and a burning frown, then Tim stared at Faith. "Except phor thoe ylotutnagesit,"

"Mhm." Faith tone was very embarassed.

"Faith, what the hell?!" Said Tim.

"Waotutlad ylotut laike tot sitafyl thoe naighot afnad ma'ke laotve tot mae?"

"What did he say?" Said Dick, a brief pause between his words. The Batkids had paused in the mouth of the previous area, Batman at the doorway, Wonder Woman and Zatanna to the left of Faith. Wysherah and Ashanti sat down on the couch, Ashanti resting her head on her mother's lap, and they watched.

Tim said, "I've got this one, Dad. He said, um," Tim cleared his throat. "'Since you are now siblings and daughter to the people you would have written yourself to have sex with',"

"OH GOD!" Barbara and Dick exclaimed, and turned to face the floor and the wall, Dick pressing himself to the left wall and Barbara to the other.

"Faith!" Barbara scolded.

"Faith, what the heck?!" Dick commented. Jason had furrowed his brow and bowed his head, making a subtle noise of fury. Damian tried to keep walking. Dick grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Oh. Oh, so Ra's messed with that too, huh?" Said Stephanie. She had not moved, when Tim translated.

"'Except for the youngest'," Tim continued.

Damian said, "Oh, well, thanks for not being a pedophile, but still insinuating that you would participate in incest, or force it upon others."

"It technically wouldn't be, if Ra's hadn't brought her into Bruce's house, and etcetera." Barbara said. Batman hummed, nodding twice.

"Yes," Wonder Woman said. "If he had, say, just brought her home, she could have been intercepted by someone else, such as the League as a whole."

"I'm- still- not go-ing to, by- the way." Faith said, clearly afraid.

"GOOD." Said Dick and Barbara.

"Thanks for adding nothing to your excuse." Said Jason.

"Oh yeah, we get it, Faith, totally." Said Stephanie. "You think you're cool, y-you think you're OK for that."

Tim said, "I hope that half of Tumblr who insta-blocks Batcest blocks you, after you post this." Faith frowned, moving her eyes from Tim to the floor.

Batman sighed, looking from his children to Faith he stood at the doorway, where he had been when Tim started translating. "Is this true? Would, would you have agreed to, or tried to convince all of them but Damian to have sex with you, if things had gone differently?"

"If we got along and there was consent, yes." Faith said. Barbara sighed loudly, into a growl, gripping Dick's right arm and pulling him along and away. Dick gave no resistance. Damian turned and left, fast enough to pass Barbara and Dick. Tim shook his head, and also left.

Jason stared Faith down. She looked scared. He looked pissed, as he should have been. "Get your fucking bag and get out of the Belfry. And then, get out of Gotham. If we see you again, you won't just get an earful, you hear?"

"Ye-s, I h- ear y- ou." Faith stuttered, trying not to be quiet and clearly about to cry, quiet overall out of terror. Jason shook his head and turned, leaving.

Batman stood himself directly in front of Faith. "The rest of what Dohannar asked you, that Tim didn't translate: 'Would you like to stay the night and make love to me?'. Would you have done that?"

"Yes. Because I knew that, as soon as Ra's brought me into your house, I had to control myself. And I was going to. Not just out of circumstance. But because it was right."

"Right for who? Right because of why?"

"Right for everyone. For you and the others, because that's what's morally right and respectful, it's what normal families do. For the Internet, because you know I'm still on Earth-33, and that's why I brought up Tumblr, and etcetera, how Damian reacted. I don't want people to hate me. I want to write stories that people like, not to be a people-pleaser, but to make good stories, and to be a better artist, and know what to-do and not to-do. And for me, so I can be a better person."

"You have a niece, right?"

"You have a niece?" Said Wonder Woman and Zatanna.

"Faith, you have a niece!" Said Wonder Woman. "And is that a younger brother or sister, or an older sibling?"

"Younger brother."

"Oh my God." Wonder Woman turned herself away, pinching her nose with the fingers of her right hand as she held the elbow of that arm with her other hand.

"I only told the story to Stephanie, and Barbara heard 'cause she was outside with dessert, and I assumed she told it to Dick and Tim."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Batman asked. "Were you going to assume the others would share this with Jason, Damian and I, and it would just blow over, and be fine?"

"No, I expected to be confronted about it more than Barbara did."

"What did she tell you?"

"She told me it was in the past, and that my brain remembering it the way it does is my reminder of why it's wrong. And yes, I thought they would have shared the story already, but I would have shared it with you three, too. That's the only story I've been hiding out of shame."

"Did you force your brother to have sex with you?"

"No." Faith said, firmly. "We only took off our clothes. Mom heard us, asked what we were doing, shocked, and I got the most spankings. My nightmares remind me of this. But it's twisted, and I hate that nightmare."

"Your nightmare makes it so that your brother starts it."

Tears began to form in Faith's eyes. "So that he wants it. And he's a teenager instead of ten, and I'm an adult instead of twelve."

"And what is that to your morals? What is that to your desires?"

"It's all wrong, kh," Faith choked on her breath, trying not to cry, but the tears fell anyways. "I'm sorry, it's all wrong, and I wish that I had at least asked my mom about it and she had taken my 3Ds away before I went in his room. I wish I had gotten myself in trouble one minute sooner. It would all be fine. I would have learned without having my subconscious beating my ass because I remember my childhood too much. I'm sorry. I'll leave as you all want because I've betrayed your trust, and I'm genuinely sorry."

Batman was silent for a few seconds. He inhaled and said, "I already made my decision when Dohannar said what he did. Your confession just now has made no difference. But it sure explains why you let Stephanie hit on you, outside of queer reasoning." Faith lowered her eyes.

"Look at me." He said, angrily. Faith lowered her shoulders and looked Batman in the eyes. He noted her trembling lower lip, her firm gaze. "Right now, your body is telling me that you're angry at yourself, and scared of what people think of you. You like attention, we all know that. You tried to get help, but even you know that you have to help yourself, first by admitting your wrong, which, yes, you have done, but second by doing better. But you haven't done that, even when you were offered help in the past, and when you were offered help by the kindest, most forgiving and understanding kids in all of Gotham, and me, Faith."

"You've kicked us all in the shins, 'cause you can't reach our asses, and now you're sitting on the floor because you can't aim worth a damn. You're not a bad person, but you're not a good person, either." Batman turned his head and eyes to Wonder Woman and Zatanna. "Take her wherever, I don't care." He meant that, in the anger of his heart. He looked back at Faith, saw that she had lost all the colour from her face, her lips parted, and she wobbled, leaning forward and to the left. Zatanna and Wonder Woman were frozen, knowing not to attend Faith until Batman was gone.

"Attend to you." Batman mumbled, as he moved his eyes from the heroines to Faith. He raised his voice so that Faith could hear. "You want people to attend to you, like the spoiled little princess you've been since your foster parents first hooked you on sugar and junk food, and didn't give a damn about you afterwards." Faith exhaled, her body leaning forwards more, and her feet stumbled, her legs buckled, her hands found the floor, the end of her right shoulder and the crook of her neck, her head coiled into her body as she vocally trembled and whimpered.

"You can go, you can just go now, yes, please go, please, please go." Faith rapidly sputtered. Batman stepped over her, his cape taking the light of every candle and leaving darkness as he moved through the passageways. "Per- fect." Faith murmured, staring into the black.

Martian Manhunter sighed into Wonder Woman and Zatanna's comms. "Bring her here."

Zatanna hummed, thoughtfully. "I have another idea."

"Me too." Wonder Woman said.

"Very well. I shall trust your judgements. My offer still stands."

"Thank you, J'onn." Wonder Woman said. She put her right arm under Faith's left armpit and lifted her to her feet, straightening Faith's neck so she wouldn't be sore. Zatanna removed Faith's seashell necklace and gave it to Dohannar, who shook his head.

Wysherah said, "Place it in her satchel. Those are her birthrights, regardless of her words and actions. Their effectiveness, however, depends on her faith."

"Thank you." Said Wonder Woman. Dohannar went to sit on the chaise as the women walked Faith through the darkness. She whimpered and panicked as they went, shedding tears.

"Jeff, an', an'... an' Freddy, an'... m-me, Odey-Odeya, aaaa!" She spoke gibberish, escalating into yelps of "No!" and "Aaaa!". Wonder Woman and Zatanna said nothing. They didn't look at Faith. Only forwards.

When they left the Dragon Tomb, the portal was still there. They crossed into the Belfry, and Tim was waiting there. He knocked eight times, and the portal closed. Dick threw a bucket of water on the wall to wash away the chalk. Barbara dumped a different bucket of dirty water onto Faith's head, Zatanna gasping. Faith cringed her face.

"Dishwater. From the pan I cooked that bacon you were so picky about eating. With extra soup, for your disgusting mouth." Barbara hissed. As Faith was walked to the exit, they passed Stephanie, who spat on her face.

'That's not going to be all they're going to do to her, is it?' Zatanna said to Wonder Woman, who shook her head while making eye contact with Zatanna.

Jason handed Faith a horribly damaged 12" white rabbit plush with floppy ears, covered in black chewing tobacco, yellow cat piss stains, and brown shit stains that smelled like dog shit. "Here. Found your Mr. Bunny." He said, using his tone in just the right way that he knew would remind Faith of her mom. And it did, and she didn't let go of the rabbit because of her fear of Jason and her mom.

'Oh, tch, really?' Zatanna thought.

'That affected her, a lot.' Wonder Woman commented.

Dick had come up behind, and he whispered in Faith's right ear, "Oh, and you're blocked from the group chat." Faith curled her bottom lip up and looked at the ceiling, and Dick stopped following, marching back to the computer area, where Barbara, Stephanie, Tim and Jason had quickly gathered.

'Yes, that makes sense.' Wonder Woman thought. She and Zatanna gasped as they stopped in front of Damian.

"Eyes here." Damian said. As Faith looked up from the floor at him, she saw Damian had drawn his sword. She had to tear her eyes away from it to meet his eyes.

"Damian, no." Batman said. "Just use your words."

"Well, I was going to carve a frown on your stupid face. I figured you'd have liked that, psycho. You try to be cool, you try to do something, to be someone, but you're a failure. And that's why you're unhappy, along with all the other trash you've got. I hope your trauma heals as ugly as it has been." Damian sheathed his sword, and stomped towards his siblings as the heroines continued with Faith, eyes on the floor again. Damian jumped into Dick's arms and sat on his lap, panting in anger as he watched Faith with the others near the computer as Dick combed his fingers through Damian's hair untli Damian's breathing slowed.

Batman handed Zatanna Faith's dufflebag as they came to the door. It was already opened. Faith saw Batman's boots and tried to look up, but it hurt. Batman noticed and raised a hand. The heroines stopped.

"I hope you improve, Faith." Batman said. Faith nodded, stiffly. The heroines came outside with Faith. The door slammed shut before Wonder Woman and Zatanna had forced Faith to take her first step after they had already taken theirs. They walked to the sidewalk, and then stopped.

"So." Wonder Woman said, in a mother's voice, keeping Faith afraid, but Faith painfully raising her eyes to look into Wonder Woman's. "Do you want us to leave you at a homeless shelter, or do you want help?"

"H..." Faith was stuck on the sound for three more times. "Help." It was said clear enough, afraid but trying to be light-hearted.

'Bear with me a second, Diana.' Zatanna quickly communicated.

'Of course.'

"From who?" Said Zatanna, in a softer mother's voice, but still in a scolding tone. Faith blinked, moving her eyes away from Zatanna to the street and buildings ahead.

"I... I don't know who would... be willing to take... someone who has always, and keeps betraying people that... she sets out to have the trust of, and... wants to have in her life."

Wonder Woman sighed, Zatanna as well, but quieter. "That's why you're always alone, Faith." Wonder Woman said, Zatanna nodding. Faith nodded too, tiredly. "We know where to take you, if you'll trust us."

Faith lifted her head to look at Wonder Woman and mumbled, "Ow." She smiled, a little, with her cheeks. "I trust you."

"Thank you."

Zatanna asked, "Have you ever been in the air, Faith?"

"Only once. Airplane to Vancouver for a foot specialist, who couldn't do anything."

"Well. Now will be your first with superheroes."

"Are we going across the country?"

"Yes, to Washington."

"Oh, I know who you want me to talk to."

"Are you OK with talking to Ollie and Dinah?"

Faith nodded, then suddenly cried, "Oh Go-hod, it's only 8 A-M!" She whimpered, her whole body shaking. She laughed for a moment, then sobbed, full volume. Zatanna sighed, looking from Faith to Wonder Woman.

"Let's go." Said Wonder Woman. Zatanna nodded. Faith did too, with limited movement. The women lifted themselves with Faith into the air, eastward.

Click emoji to navigate to next chapter. ⏭️

[alarajrogers]

just found your blog from an old post of yours that's making the rounds again and i just wanna say thanks for being a normal person its really appreciated in the world today.

havw a good morning/day/night

Thanks, I'm pretty sure I know which post you mean and I appreciate you appreciating it. :-) It is making me fucking sick what society at large, and the progressive movement, are doing to Jews. Like... nobody did this to Americans during the Iraq War when we did horrible things to innocent people who'd done nothing to us! And American citizens could be seen to be culpable, in that we elected our leaders. (Though I didn't vote for him.)

American Jews did not vote for the Likud Party and have absolutely no control over who's in charge in Israel, and from what I hear, Netanyahu is unpopular over there too!

How do people who can absolutely forgive Americans, as a whole, for things done by W Bush and Donald Trump, demonize Jews for simply believing Israel ought to exist? Last I checked, we were not at all indigenous to this country and we did absolutely terrible things to the indigenous people, but no one is running around saying America shouldn't exist. Jews are indigenous to Israel but somehow them taking over their old lands 75 years ago is worse than us taking lands from the Native Americans 200 years ago?

What Netanyahu is doing to the Palestinians is absolutely appalling and horrific and a fucking war crime, and it's also not likely to work because Hamas, being terrorists, knew they were gonna pull Oct 7 and had the chance to get out of town right after it went down. Netanyahu's not successfully killing Hamas leaders, they're not in there anymore. But that has nothing to do with whether Israel deserves to exist, let alone whether American Jews are responsible for anything it does! (Hint: they're not.)

Other progressive goyim who are suddenly raging antisemitics appall me. Yeah, I'm also horrified by what Netanyahu's doing, but people... he's not doing anything American leaders haven't done. And in fact our leaders have done worse. And no one is calling for the dissolution of the American state. (Oh, I see you, three extreme extremists in the corner who actually are doing that. You're wrong, but at least you're not antisemitic hypocrites, though you're probably antisemitic anyway.) Normal people aren't calling for the dissolution of the American state or attacking Americans for thinking we have the right to live on the land we took over. Even Native American landback movements aren't about "let's commit terrorism against white civilians and wipe out the population", they're about "help us regain ancestral lands through legal means and acknowledge we know our shit about the ecosystem we're all living on." So why is it suddenly so different when it's Jews and Israel?

So. Yeah. I am eagerly awaiting the day progressives stop being such fuckheads toward Jewish people, but... goddamn it's ugly, and I'm afraid for my Jewish friends.

[milliesfishes]

Hello again for the umpteenth time with week hehe.

Anywayssss i don’t remember if you’ve written about this before but what are your thoughts about either Billy or Coryo (or both) with a reader who has like chronic night terrors and nightmares…im not projecting you are

Hi babes! Always happy to see you in my inbox 🫶🫶🫶

I don't think I've talked about this before! Am happy too all we do is project on this blog dw

Billy would be so attentive to you at night, try to make you feel as comfortable as possible and make sleep out to be a good thing. He always lets you fall asleep first, so you don't feel alone. And when you inevitably have nightmares, he's always there to hold you, comfort you, bring you back down to earth. You always feel bad for being the cause of his lost sleep, but he assures you every time that he doesn't care. All that matters is that you feel safe. Maybe he even goes into town and tries to figure out sleep remedies, grows certain herbs in the garden to put in your tea every night. He'd do anything to ease your discomfort.

With Coryo I feel like it's kind of the same thing, like he sleeps in the same bed as you every night because he knows his presence comforts you. And he takes you to a doctor to try and figure out how to fix it. Special pills arrive for you to take nightly, and he's very diligent about making sure you do. And whenever you wake up with echoes of the nightmares still in your head, he's pulling the blanket tighter around you, murmuring that it was just a dream and you're safe and he's got you. Alternatively, if you have a nightmare when he's working late in the study, you always go and find him, and he knows if you come see him so late it's because your sleep has been disturbed. And he either gets up and comes to bed with you or has you come sit in his lap. Either way, you always end up falling back asleep :)

[widthofmytongue]

The other night I had drinks with coworkers. I increasingly dislike all of them. The topic of the Coronation came up, unsurprisingly. One of my colleagues said ‘we should have done what the French did’, and me and one other kinda went ‘haha yeah!’ and I thought for a moment that maybe I wouldn’t be in the political minority, even if these people will never be dedicated to the pursuit of global communism. My boss said, unironically, ‘what did the French do?’

Now I knew this was a bad sign, but me and person who initially referenced the French Revolution tried to sort of extol a few key details of the abolition of monarchy and formation of the First Republic, with probably disproportionate attention on the Terror. But anyway, my boss said something like ‘my knowledge of history isn’t great before the war’, and I asked genuinely ‘which war?’, which was interpreted as a sarcastic joke.

Anyway, this led to talking about WWII. Someone said something like ‘well the Second World War was unique among wars because it was essentially good versus evil’, to which I interjected ‘well kinda more like evil versus evil, right’. The response to this, from all three of my colleagues in the conversation, was ‘oh right, the Soviets’. I think if you follow this blog (or especially my politcal sideblog) you may have encountered my generalised view of the Soviet Union. Keeping in mind that it was Gevurah ShebeHod (since most of my personal posts seem to mark some significant point on the Hebrew calendar), I tried to rein in my response, and just said ‘interesting that when I mention the evil superpowers of the Allies in WWII you say the Soviets but not Britain or America.’ So the following dialogue came out of this:

Colleague (with history degree): Well I don’t know much about Roosevelt’s policy or ideological allignment... Me: Well he kinda committed genocide against the Navajo. C(whd): ...Churchill may have been a shitty guy... Me: Well he kinda committed genocide against India and Palestine. C(whd): ...But Britain essentially had to go to war with the Nazis. Me: To safeguard their material interests though, right, not for the altruism of saving the brutalised people of Europe. C(whd): Well Britain didn’t have any interests in Poland. Me: Well I think upholding a status quo is a very strong material interest for imperial Europe, but I was really talking about North Africa and the Middle East. C(whd): But those regions weren’t threatened by Germany, but by Italy. Me: Do you honestly think Churchill or whoever was thinking in such a two-dimensional way as to see these powers in a vacuum? [I wish I’d said ‘I think they were pretty threatened by Britain too, and remain so.’] Colleague who’d followed silently: Well every government has done horrible things at some point. Me: And yet when I mentioned evil versus evil, you all glanced right past the genocidal empires of Britain and America to look at the Soviets. Boss (unironically): I didn’t think when I mentioned the war that we’d be talking so much about genocide.

Now I wanna leave this on a couple crucial points. One is that I am very overt about being Jewish. I mention observing religious festivals; I use lots of Yiddish and occasionally Hebrew phrases; I have a hamsa and a Star of David badge on my backpack, as well as on the jacket I was wearing that night (I also have a Lenin badge on the jacket). The idea that these three white English men entered this conversation about WWII with a Jew and then were surprised (it was very clear they were all surprised and uncomfortable) at the mention of genocide is baffling to me, but I think all too common. I didn’t even mention the Shoah (although I think I did eventually say something like ‘I don’t think invading other countries is the greatest evil for which Nazi Germany is remembered’).

At some point later in the conversation I said something like ‘for all the negative views abounding on the Soviet Union, speaking as a queer Jew, I think I’d have preferred to live there than in Britain at the time’, to which my colleague with the history degree replied ‘well I obviously can’t speak to that’. It was very clear that he meant he can’t speak to Jewish and I guess queer identity. Now this is not the first time I’ve encountered this, but I think it’s an important phenomenon to observe. I once said to another colleague ‘well, there are lots of people in this country who want me dead because I’m Jewish or nonbinary’, and she said ‘well I can’t even imagine what that’s like’.

What I want to rhetorically ask is: why can’t you imagine it? Why do you imagine you’re safe from these same people? First they came for the communists, then they came for the Jews, then they came for that guy who wrote the poem! Eventually they’ll come for you too, when they drum up some new group to hate and mobilise against. If you can’t imagine what it’s like for fascists to want you dead, maybe you should try?