#i am still getting a handle on how to do things on here
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purlturtle · 3 days ago
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For people asking how to find a good balance between staying informed and not obsessing, here's what has helped me most:
Follow only two news outlets: a national one and a local one. Neither are prone to click-baity headlines, which helps as well. Both are reputable and middle-of-the-road in terms of political bias.
Follow them not on social media, but more like "reading the morning newspaper and watching one news show at night" style: I have an RSS feed app that congregates the headlines from the above two sources, and I check it once in the morning and once at night (if that). This means I'm not inundated everywhere all the time, but at a time of my choosing.
Corollary to this: no notifications on my phone. I get notifications for messages from specific people, for emails in a very strongly spam-protected account, and that is *it*. Anything else, I see if and when I decide to open the respective app. *I decide*, not someone pushing notifications. Not even for Tumblr. It's all off.
Mute any keywords for news that trigger you (if you feel like you mustn't, here's your permit: I herewith give you express permission to protect yourself from any such topic), as well as news that upsets you - especially if you can't do anything about it and it doesn't impact you. I have A LOT of American news buzzwords and names blocked, because I am not US-American, don't live there, can't vote there, and it just upsets me and I can't do anything about it.
If I do see posts about something like that that weren't caught by my blocklist, I mute them individually (thanks, Xkit!), or add a new word to the blocklist.
This includes fundraising posts, if that upsets you (for example because you don't have money to spare or don't have the spoons to vet such posts). Again, if you need permission to look away, let me give you it: you don't have to, if it upsets you. Not even to signal boost! Protecting your mental health is worth it. I have closed my asks completely, and messages for people who don't follow me - I was getting just oodles of fundraising asks that I could not mentally handle, and had to cut that out of my Tumblr experience.
I also block or unfollow users that have doom-y vibes, mean vibes, who mainly blog upsetting stuff. And I make it a habit to reblog, on my own blog, political posts only if they have at minimum something actionable attached to the upsetting part, such as templates to write to your representatives, reputable petition links, etc.
I come to Tumblr to have a good time. It is valid to curate your Tumblr experience in such a way that you *have* a good time here. And this is the way I have chosen. Last but not least:
In the lead up to elections in your area, if and when you want to be informed about who you vote for, by all means take a specific time frame (say, an hour every Saturday or something) to look up candidates and what they're running on, as well as past decisions they've made.
Picking a time frame for this will help you not obsess, and still get the info you need.
Make that time frame as small as necessary to work for you, and stick to it.
Check the reputability of the sources you find!
You are allowed to not fill every waking hour with upsetting shit. You are allowed to look away. (I *liberally* block any post who tries to "raise awareness" by trying to guilt-trip me into looking. That shit is not worth anyone's time.) You are allowed to find good news and surround yourself with them. You are allowed to rest and recuperate and laugh and be merry; you don't have to (make yourself) suffer because the world is bad for someone else.
Yes, practice compassion. But, view your own compassion as a finite resource (because it is! Compassion fatigue is a thing!), and be mindful where you turn it to!
Really been mulling this over a lot lately.
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 23 hours ago
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how do you think leona would do if he falls in love?
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Here are my thoughts in bullet-point/headcanon form for ease of reading! Key word there being my thoughts. (There will of course be different interpretations based on who you ask this question to.)
Standard disclaimer: These points are nothing more than my opinions and I am NOT saying my opinions are any more or less valid or “correct” than yours. Please, I’m not pre-book 1 Riddle/j It’s fine to have other takes; just remember to be mindful in how you communicate differences in opinion.
To start with, here's how I think Leona would deal with the experience of first love:
Firstly, I definitely feel that Leona is the type of person to not easily fall in love. There are many examples in canon of Leona rejecting the love he receives from others, whether it be from his own family (Cheka, Falena), dorm members (Ruggie, Jack, Savanaclaw mobs, etc.), or other peers. Even though he desires others’ approval and praise, he also simultaneously believes the compliments are insincere or that he may not be deserving or worthy of it, that he hasn’t “earned” it. It’s also difficult for him to be emotionally vulnerable with others, and I feel that this would extend to romantic circumstances.
Continuing from the previous point, I think it’d be a slow burn. Like, the feelings develop gradually and manifest in small but increasingly more forward-facing ways like his gaze lingering for a second or two longer than usual, him getting slightly irritable when he smells (I 100% believe that smell is a Big Thing for beastmen) some other guy on the object of his affections, or simply… his mind wandering to them, maybe in a daydream.
A lot of it is Leona musing about the situation and then being in denial. He’s not so oblivious as to ignore what are clearly blossoming feelings, but he's not so hasty as to act on them right away. He'd sit with those feelings, examine them, question them. What is it that he is experiencing and why, how did things come to this, etc. He may even try to convince himself it's a phase or he's "too good" for this or he's "above" this. Really takes a long time to wrestle with his emotions and to sort them out. And then when he has come to his conclusion, he might not be very pleased with it because (as I said before), he has self-esteem and self-worth issues despite outwardly presenting himself as confident and in-charge.
For a while, he keeps his distance and observes. He’s nothing if not a big cat biding his time, keeping an eye on his prey until—BAM! Down comes his paw, ensnaring the mouse. It's like a game of chess or... cat and mouse. You have to watch your opponent and predict their moves, then plan your own moves two or three or more steps ahead of them. He'd want to gauge if they're already taken, if they seem to express an interest in him too, what they like and dislike, information like that. The last thing Leona'd want to do is charge in, guns blazing, only to be rejected and have his pride hurt.
He may also go out of his way to test the object of his affections by purposefully engineering scenarios to see how they react. At first, it's subtle things that could easily be passed off as coincidence or happenstance. For example, maybe Leona would accidentally bump his shoulder against yours or as he's walking by his tail flicks you. That's just the start though. He'd put more pressure on over time. Like he'd be more confrontational, putting himself in your path as some obstacle to overcome, still being sort of an asshole to see how you handle yourself around him.
Leona tells himself he has the upper hand, and he's usually pretty consistent about hiding his feelings to that end. It might peek through here and there, but they easily read as him being tsundere as per usual. I think that would be his way of coping, because deep down he doesn't want to admit that a part of him is scared to feel this way. It's something else he could fail at, someone else he could frighten away or destroy.
With time, I think he'd become more confident. He has a better grasp of the other person, he's been able to sort out his thoughts. But the thing is, his pride is still a major deterrent. Instead of coming out and saying it, it would become another game. If you've ever read or watched Kaguya-sama: Love is War, it'd be similar to that. Leona would push for the other person to be the one to fall for him and confess first. Part of it is he's kind of afraid to be so emotionally vulnerable, part of it is that he's desperate to be wanted and needed by others, and part of it is that he feels he needs to "earn" that love by winning you over. He wants that sweet, sweet validation from you. He wants YOU to choose HIM.
I think he expects a certain amount of push and pull. If the game's too easy for him, the (psychological) hunt loses some of its thrill. I think he'd also be the type to seek a partner that isn't just a blind yes man (despite him giving off the vibes that he wants to be in total control, especially in his own dormitory); they should be able to keep him on his toes one way or another, and they shouldn't idolize him in a really unrealistic way--because then he worries what would happen if they learn about his flaws. Would they see him differently? Reject him? Etc.
It'd take a considerable amount of time and effort, but slowly he'd let the walls around his heart down to let you in--but ONLY if you pass his tests and prove that you can be loyal, trustworthy, and cognizant + accepting of all his flaws. He has high standards, so he's pretty picky about who he allows to be by his side. I don't think he'd be happy having to like... put in a fake "perfect prince" act or airs for someone else. Pretending to be someone you're not in order to have love might be just another source of stress for him.
He would take a more aggressive approach if the object of his affections makes it obvious that they return his feelings. More "accidental" touching (but of course nothing that breaches into something they find discomforting), intentionally dropping phrases that come off as flirtatious, demanding to spend more time together, etc.
If they're not into it, he'd respectfully back off. However, that won't stop him from moping about it in private later.
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Then, assuming a scenario in which he and the person he's romantically interested in get together/start formally dating:
I think he'd be a lot more blatant and shameless about "showing off" his affections and/or the relationship in general. Overt flirting at this point, casually laying his head on the shoulder or wrapping an arm or tail around you, etc. Who cares who sees? Let them know you're already taken.
Oh yeah, he's really into physical touch (within whatever limits you deem to be acceptable; he respects your autonomy). Cuddles while napping, hand holding, head pats, listening to your heartbeat, etc. It grants him a sense of security that you're like... physically there with him.
As I mentioned earlier, I think there'd be a lot of banter and teasing; Leona strikes me as someone who likes to toy with his pre or puts up a fight; he still has his pride and won't take sass lying down, he'd definitely retaliate but in a playful way.
Slightly whiny and needy. Key word: SLIGHTLY. He's not going to go full yandere on you. I believe that Leona would be somewhat insecure about the relationship and wants you to validate him with your presence. Like, if you're lying down somewhere and try to get up to leave... he might pout and be all dramatic about it, maybe throw in a sarcastic line about how he's "a delicate prince" and how he'll "wither like a flower" without you.
Slightly possessive. Again, the key word: SLIGHTLY. He's not going to restrict your movements or demand complete control of your life. However, he might sulk if he like... sees some other guy hovering or getting handsy, obviously making you uncomfortable. (If it's a particularly bad day for him, Leona might get intrusive thoughts about being the "second pick" and his partner leaving him for some "better" guy.) We've already seen he can get pretty territorial when it comes to Savanaclaw and the Botanical Garden, so I think at some point he'd also step in to intimidate people he feels are becoming a problem for his S/O. It's not the case for every situation though; his partner should be able to handle themselves or let him know when he's overstepping.
I think he'd be a little more tolerant of things his partner pulls. They're the one exception for certain things, like touching his ears or being more willing to listen to their requests to go to class or to try this new vegetable.
He'd try to distance his S/O from his family, especially in the beginning. Leona would tell them he doesn't think they're ready to meet the royal family yet (especially knowing the rocky relationship he has with his family), but really a lot of this stems from his pride. Falena, for example, honestly might make him look uncool by infantilizing his "baby bro".
Leona doesn't really go out of his way to plan grand gestures (he's not Kalim). If he does anything "big", it's probably like sending Ruggie to your doorstep with fancy flowers and a notecard or something. What he values isn't the "frivolous" stuff, but spending quality time together (even if it's doing nothing in particular). Might still spoil you on, say, special occasions, but he generally dislikes making a big deal of these things.
I think he'd be into you wearing his clothes. It's an easy visual indication that you're intimate enough to do this, but also it cloaks you in his smell so every other beastman in the immediate vicinity also knows you're "marked". Leona tosses his unworn blazer over you, casually saying, "Keep it."
I do believe he has the capacity to be very sappy, but I don't think he'd want to be at this level all of the time. It would probably be limited to private settings and done sparingly, sort of like a treat?? Cuz if he does it too often, then it might lose its "special" feeling, and I also feel like he wouldn't be open to being all squimshy 24/7. Usually his sappiness is sarcastic.
Going to keep it 100 here, he's going to be more vulnerable around you (especially in private), and that means potential traumadumping. That's not to say that he'd do it super frequently to go into full-blown details, but his S/O would be one of the few people he feels comfortable enough with to open about his deepest insecurities and fears. He sometimes needs someone to hear him out, a shoulder to cry on, etc. Of course, he's not going to treat his partner like an unpaid therapist. Leona just... needs some extra support every now and again, reminders that he's doing fine, you know??
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IMPORTANT ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Leona being in love would NOT smooth out all the rough edges to his personality. He's not going to white knight/act like you constantly need his protection, he's not going to bend over backwards and do anything and everything his partner asks of him. He still has a will and he can and will disagree or argue if he's opposed to something. He'll still let you handle yourself as needed.
Leona being in love would also NOT magically cure him of his personal issues and struggles. This is also true of the other characters who have deeply rooted trauma, but I feel this point should be included as a reminder anyway. It's of course not his entire personality, but his past experiences will impact how he interprets and reacts to things in present day (hence him being needy/wanting validation, etc.).
Like all relationships (whether romantic or platonic), it would not be flawless. There will be highs and lows, fights and disagreements, etc. This is normal in any relationship; what matters is that you're able to be mature enough to patch things up afterwards and learn from those rough patches.
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p0orbaby · 14 hours ago
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Request😍: y/n and alessia or leah (you decide! find your tumblr side and aaalll the stories of them. It leads to jealous alessia/leah bc of y/n being with other girls (like getting jealous when your partner cheats in your dream). Reader has to handle the situation and in the end manages to make less/leah focus on all the fluffy/spicy stuff there is about them. If you want to make it smutty (what we all love hehe): they eventually get inspired by tumblr and choose another story (you can decide which of all the good alessia/leah x reader smut on here) to reenact. Thank you!!! (If you dont want to write this feel free to repost for another writer, also you can switch the roles who is jealous, i dont care:)
i amended this a little, pls don’t hate me
it would be harsh to call this a crack fic but i honestly giggled the whole time writing it 🤭
-
You find Alessia on the sofa, her face illuminated by the blue glow of her phone screen. At first, you think she’s watching one of those oddly specific TikToks she loves—something about cats playing table tennis or an American teenager ranking their favourite crisps. But then you notice the furrow in her brow, the way her teeth tug at her bottom lip. Her expression is equal parts confusion, disbelief, and mild offence.
“Everything alright?” you ask, setting your keys on the counter.
She doesn’t answer immediately, which is a bad sign. Alessia always greets you the moment you walk through the door, even if it’s just to ask what you’ve brought for dinner. Instead, she tilts the phone slightly so you can see the screen.
“Do you know about this?” she asks, voice clipped.
You lean over, squinting at the screen. The webpage is clunky, its layout straight out of 2012, and the title reads something absurd like ‘Sunlit Smiles and Shadowed Hearts’. Your name is prominently featured in the summary, alongside a few other recognisable ones.
“It’s fanfiction,” she says, answering the question you haven’t asked yet. “About you”
You blink. “About me?”
“And other people,” she adds, her tone sharp now, like the edge of a too-clean knife.
The penny drops. “Wait—what?”
She sits up straighter, turning the phone to face you fully. “Look. This one has you with… God, Tooney. And this one—oh, this is just brilliant—you’re married to Ona. Married! Like we’re just some passing fling”
You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing, which, given her expression, would be a tactical error. Alessia doesn’t do jealousy often, but when she does, it’s like an overdramatic romcom villain plotting their revenge.
“Well,” you say carefully, “at least they’ve got good taste?”
“Good taste?” she repeats, incredulous. “One of these has you sneaking off with Mary behind my back during a post-match interview!”
“Creative, though,” you offer.
She glares at you, tossing the phone onto the cushion beside her. “This isn’t funny”
“It’s a little funny,” you say, sitting down next to her.
“It’s not,” she insists, crossing her arms. “Do you know how many of these there are? And how many don’t have me in them at all? Like I’m just some side character in your life?”
You try to suppress the grin tugging at your lips, but it’s no use. “Less, you do realise this is all made up, right? None of it’s real”
She huffs, her cheeks pink now. “I know that. But still. It’s insulting”
You reach for her hand, gently uncrossing her arms. “Alright, let’s look at it this way. I’m obviously very popular. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Not when you’re popular with everyone except me”
“Oh, come on,” you tease, squeezing her hand. “I’m pretty sure there’s stuff about us too. The fluffy, romantic, borderline inappropriate kind”
Alessia hesitates, her gaze flicking to the phone. “You think so?”
“I know so,” you say confidently. “Because we’re the superior couple. Clearly”
That earns a small smile, though she tries to hide it. “You’re an idiot”
“And yet, here I am, fully committed to proving my devotion,” you say, reaching for her phone. You type in a search, scrolling through pages until you find what you’re looking for. “See? Right here. This one’s about us”
She leans over, peering at the screen. Her eyes scan the words, and slowly, her frown starts to fade.
“This is… cute,” she admits reluctantly.
“Exactly,” you say, draping an arm around her shoulders. “So, no more being jealous of fictional versions of me, okay? They don’t get to go home with you. I do”
She turns to look at you, her expression softening further. “Fine. But I’m still not over the Mary thing”
You laugh, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Noted. I’ll make it up to you”
“You better,” she mumbles, but there’s no real bite to her words anymore.
It’s only later, as you’re cooking dinner together, that you catch her sneaking glances at her phone again, her lips twitching with the beginnings of a smile. If she’s reading more of those stories, you don’t mention it. Some battles are better left unpicked.
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Prime and Protector (TF One Sentinel Prime) pt. 2
pairing - Sentinel Prime x F!Prime!Reader
summary - Sentinel's bond with you grows stronger
warnings - might turn this into a series, idk, bear with me and my love for this guy
a/n - i enjoyed writing the first part, so have some more of my thoughts on Sentinel's relationship with Prime!You before (italics) and after (normal) becoming sparkmates (i may have forgotten to add a few things to the first one) also i am so sorry for the wait!
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"Sentinel."
Sentinel lived for the sound of his name leaving your dermas. He was putty in your servos whenever you called him, always happy to do the most menial task for his pretty Prime.
"Yes, my lady?"
The advisor showed up at your door, eagerly awaiting your command, but you frowned when you saw how tired he was.
"Sentinel, have you had a break?"
"No, my lady. But I can-"
"Go, power down," you ordered, concerned about his health. "Please."
"(Name), Sentinel needs to-"
You glared at Zeta, "He. Needs. A. Break. I will fetch the reports."
Sentinel panicked at that idea, "No, no, I can handle it!"
"My sweet advisor, your pretty wings are drooping. Go power down."
He absolutely did not want to, because he would rather do something for you. He liked being useful to you, liked your praise - the 'pretty wings' comment had his fans working overtime to cool him down. But recharging? He couldn't be useful to you.
You smiled a little at his reluctance, "I'll have more for you to do once you're awake again."
He seemed content with that, and left to go recharge. You turned the other way to go and retrieve the scout's reports, but Zeta Prime's next words stopped you.
"You are too fond of Sentinel."
"And you're not fond enough," you answered, then went on your way.
~
"Sentinel."
Your sparkmate's wings fluttered up from their drooping position when you called him, his mood changing like the flip of a switch.
"Yes, sweetspark?"
You smiled at his new nickname for you, "Can I trouble you?"
"Of course, for you it's no trouble."
Even after becoming sparkmates, Sentinel retained his eagerness to please you. He was at your beck and call, still ready and willing to serve you in any way. If it made you happy, bonus points.
You smiled, "Come and look at the reports and tell me what you think."
He almost didn't believe those words, and gestured to himself, "Me?"
You laughed, "I didn't know there were two Sentinels."
Flustered, he approached you and took a look at the reports. He hadn't expected you to ask for his opinion, because even though that was technically his job the other Primes usually ignored it.
"I don't trust this one," he held up one of the recordings. "I've been there, it's not as overcrowded as this scout makes it out to be."
"Hmmm," you leaned forward. "Take care of it for me?"
"Of course, my lady."
"(Name)!" You called after him.
He chuckled, "Habit."
He returned a while later, looking weary, and you were immediately concerned.
"Sentinel-"
"No!" You snapped at your fellow Prime. "He needs rest." You turned to the advisor, "Did something go wrong?
"The scout did not send that message, my lady," he wiped some Quintesson blood off his shoulder. "I don't think we will be receiving any more communication from him."
"I should have gone myself," you led him to his berthroom.
"No, my la-(Name)," he quickly corrected when you gave him a look. "I was happy to be of service to you."
"I know, but I feel like I sent you into a trap..."
"It was," he admitted, "But I'm here, aren't I?" His wings buzzed a little, hoping for your praise. Hoping you were impressed with his ability to get out of a difficult situation.
"Indeed," you agreed. "But I do not like endangering you."
You were too worried about him to pay him a compliment! That wouldn't do. He brought you closer to him, reassuring you.
"My sword made quick work of them, sweetspark."
Your tension eased, "I suppose that is a comfort. You are very impressive with an equally impressive weapon."
He beamed, glowing under your praise.
"Now rest, Sentinel."
~
Another day out in the field, fighting the Quintessons. Their numbers seemed limitless, as more came every time you felled a few. You grew weary, separated from your Primes in different sections of the battlefield.
Your weariness disappeared when your optics picked out Sentinel in the fight, being overwhelmed.
You obliterated Quintessons in your path as you rushed to assist him. Around you, the other Primes were also weakening, but your focus was solely on your advisor.
"I don't think so."
You grabbed a Quintesson that had been about to attach itself to Sentinel's back, and you tossed it aside before shooting it.
"Thank you, my lady," Sentinel offered you a soft smile, which you returned.
You quickly intercepted another, your armour being scratched by their talon as you threw your arm in front of Sentinel's faceplates, shielding it.
"My lady!"
"Sentinel, it's just a..." You watched him completely demolish that Quintesson, chopping it into far more pieces than necessary. "...scratch."
When you returned to the tower, Sentinel was at your side with a buffer. He was exhausted, quite obviously, but he was eager to fix your "wound".
"Sentinel," you laughed. "It's nothing."
"You got that because of me," he pouted. "Let me fix it."
He was so cute, you couldn't deny him, "Okay."
The scratch in question was smoothed out within minutes, but far from making Sentinel feel silly about it, you smiled at him.
"Where would I be without my trusty caretaker, hmmm?"
His chassis puffed out with pride.
~
*My lady, what happened?!"
Sentinel's panicked voice flooded your audio receptors as two of the High Guard members carried you back into the tower, heavily wounded.
"I'm okay," you flinched. "It was just a bit rougher out there today."
Your sparkmate almost had a spark attack as he analysed your wounds. He called for the best medics, threatening them if they didn't drop what they were doing and come now. You looked so badly hurt, his wings drooped a little.
"Sentinel."
"Mhm?" He looked at you, turning his attention away from the medic.
"I'm okay."
"You are very obviously not, sweetspark," he offered you a small, weak smile despite his worry. "But you will be."
Sentinel had always been sweet toward you, but his sweetness ramped up to a thousand while you were on bedrest. He scurried around doing all your tasks, helping the other Primes AND tending to your every need and want.
"Will you slow down?" You laughed one day as he ran into your berthroom with some energon, almost toppling over.
"You need it!" He protested.
"Sentinel, I'm not going to die."
He huffed.
"Okay, I'm sorry," you chuckled, "Thank you."
He beamed, sitting on your berth and feeding you the cubes. He refused to let you eat on your own, simply because, again, he loved doing things for you.
When you were finally allowed to move around again, the blue-and-gold Cybertronian refused to let you get back to the fight. As your advisor, he couldn't exactly order you around, but as your sparkmate his concern was duly noted and followed.
"I am proud to say I killed over fifty Quintessons today, my lady," he swept into the room, looking pleased with himself. "In your honour, of course."
You smiled, "That's sweet, darling, but it's (Name) or sweetspark to you. But that's impressive, well done."
When you awarded him with a sweet kiss, Sentinel swore his legs wobbled. The praise and the kiss were too much for him, although in a very, very pleasant way.
He still offered to do some of your tasks, to take the load off you. You politely declined, noticing his increased tiredness.
"Sentinel, go recharge."
"But-"
"Recharge."
"Sweetspark~"
"Sentinel."
"...Fine."
He obeyed, but pouted the whole way to your shared berthroom. He was not happy, but hated disobeying you.
Sentinel had been obsessed with you before, but since becoming your sparkmate it had increased tenfold. You could literally say or do anything to this bot and he will take it with a smile on his face. He counts himself lucky that you're sweet to him, not sadistic or cruel like some of the other Primes could be.
"Sentinel."
"Yes?"
"Come here and let me admire your pretty wings."
His faceplates burned, but he obeyed and moved closer. They were sensitive to touch, so he shivered pleasantly when he felt your servos run along them tenderly.
"You are by far Primus's best creation."
He was at a loss for words. You, a Prime, a prestigious and elite creation of Primus, bestowed him with the ultimate compliment. Him, a bot who paled in comparison to your excellence, power, and looks.
"Sweetspark, I fear I am going to malfunction if you say that again."
You chuckled, noticing how flustered he got, "I mean it, you know."
"I disagree," he chuckled, "Primus definitely took a little more time designing you, you're the epitome of perfection my lady."
Your faceplates burned now, "Can't you just take a compliment?!"
He laughed, enjoying how his words impacted you just the way yours impacted him. He quite enjoyed knowing he had such power over you, even if it was just a little. He was content with just that little bit.
~
"Sentinel, are you drunk?"
Zeta's accusation sounded a lot like he had never been in the same predicament before, which annoyed you. Your advisor was stumbling around, a very cheerful smile on his faceplates. He looked like he had a little too much high grade, but that wasn't something to be punished for.
You'd seen Megatronus and Micronus in far worse states after consuming a little too much high grade.
"Leave him alone, Zeta," you rolled your eyes, catching your advisor before he fell faceplates-first on the floor. "There is reason to celebrate, we are close to winning this war."
Zeta opened his mouth to say something, before Sentinel giggled and teased your leader, "Yeah Zeta, lighten up."
Zeta froze, as did all the Primes in the vicinity, but you just laughed and put a hand on his chassis to steady him. He smiled drunkenly at your laugh, poking your faceplates.
"You're cute when you laugh~"
Your faceplates burned, and you led him away from the other astonished Primes. You took him to his berthroom, as he looked around in awe, like he had never been here before.
"This place is so pretty!"
It was very hard to keep a straight face whenever he spoke, and you allowed yourself to smile in amusement as you helped him lay on his berth.
He was knocked out immediately.
~
Sentinel could control himself around high grade. He had learned from past experiences that he was not to drink too much, even if you encouraged him to enjoy himself.
So he sat back and watched you Primes enjoy yourselves.
You noticed him sitting quietly, patiently, because you were - as usual - excluded from the festivities, even if not on purpose.
"You're oddly quiet," you noted, sitting down next to him.
"Someone has to be responsible here," he muttered bitterly, echoing Zeta's scolding from the last time. He looked tired; his optics were dull and his shoulders were hunched.
"You take such good care of us," you praised him, placing a servo on his shoulder. "You need to take care of yourself too."
"As if they would give me a break."
He wasn't always the cheerful advisor you saw. At times like this, the other Primes had worn him down so much that his energy levels dropped dangerously low, worrying you. They were too careless with your sparkmate, too mindless.
"Rest your optics for a moment," you told him, offering your shoulder. "I'll keep an optic on them."
At least for a little while.
He looked like he wanted to protest, but he had no energy to. He resigned himself to exhaustion, resting his helm on your shoulder and going offline for a few moments. You sighed contently, happy to take some of the load off him.
"Sentinel!"
Your sparkmate jerked back online, blinking a few times to clear his vision. He immediately stood up and responded to the call, despite your reluctance to let him go.
"Let me help you."
You found him cleaning up after the other Primes, not even hesitating to assist. He protested, but you refused to listen.
It got done faster, and you were happy to drag him back to your shared berthroom to get some much-needed rest. He tried to fight his exhaustion to spend a little more time with you, but you assured him you'd still be there when he came back online.
You were starting to notice a change in him, a spark of resentment for the other Primes, and it was worrying you despite your shared feelings on the matter.
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graveyrdvamp18 · 2 days ago
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i'm bored, , so here's what i think of each lost boy
i'm gonna do this one vamp at a time so i don't get overwhelmed, starting off with this mullet king
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david
• he's a self - proclaimed leader
since he's the first turned and seemingly the most mature one, as each boy joined the gang, he took it upon himself to look after everyone. cause he cared for them ? that could be a factor, but also cause of his controlling nature
• he loves to read
david seems like he secretly loves to read, and im talking about newspapers, too. he even has reading glasses. and i would know this cause i am the glasses. anyway, as far as genres, maybe horror, mystery, and throw in a little romance from time to time
• he is the most possessive of his belongings
this man does NOT share. and he will be mad if he catches anybody besides him with his stuff
• he is the smartest
okay so i'm not calling the others stupid, vampires in general are intelligent beings. i'm just saying david is extremely smart, but this is also what makes him very, very good at manipulation. a master manipulator, if you will. and it's not just with the mind games he can play, with his words, his expressions. he knows exactly what to do or say to get you
• anger issues
something tells me if he's not the one who comes up and speaks to you first, don't even try. he would probably just ignore you or tell you to go away. this is probably something he picked up from his father (not max), and i don't necessarily think it's shown in the movie, just from his energy, makes me think that
• not the biggest fan of sweets
i keep switching from serious to silly things, but that's just how i roll, anywayy. he doesn't hate sweets or candy, just could live without them. he hates the stomach ache you can get after, and probably how sugary they are. the only sweet i think he can handle is cookies, more specifically snickerdoodles
• david has the highest level of maturity
i've actually read about this on here, i can't remember the person's user, but i just remember how they talked of how he dresses and how he talks, and i have to say i agree. he does indeed dress and talk completely different from his three vampire bros. this also makes me think that david is definitely an old soul and he was probably forced to grow up instead of having the freedom of being a wild and care-free child
• black and red are his favorite colors
more specifically darker shades of red, he hates bright colors. probably would complain it's hurting his poor eyes and he's going blind
• cares about his health.. a lot
there's absolutely nothing wrong with caring about your health. although the man's main diet is bl0od, clearly they can still eat human food. he eats junk food still and is definitely always down for some pasta or a good burger, but he tries to maintain a healthy way of eating. maybe he tried encouraging the other boys to do so, but gave up cause he was getting no where
• keeps things clean
if he sees a mess, he cleans it. or gets one of the others to clean it cause they caused it. the cave is definitely organized, and that was probably thanks to David. cause you can see during any cave scene how it's an organized mess
• his favorite food is pasta
already mentioned this briefly, but please he would fck up olive garden. i just know they would hate to see him coming
• despises loud noises
this includes the TV being too loud, loud crunching, any kind of beeping and so on. it pisses him off
• stupid nicknames
can't stand them. the other boys definitely have silly nicknames for him like 'pookie' and 'davey' and so on, and he wants to curl up every time
• early birdy
as soon as the sun sets, david is the first to wake up. mainly cause he loves night time. even before he was turned, he was always a night owl. he probably snuck out into a field near his childhood house a few times
• writing
there's really no doubt in my mind that david loves to write. he has many journals stored away cause he considers them personal. he has such a high guard up that whenever somethings wrong, he turns to paper and pen. he also has the most beautiful handwriting out of all of them
☆ what he could've been
i feel like if david was never turned, he would've wanted to be in a major career. he would've been an excellent psychologist. he would've wanted to start his own family, and have kids, probably out in the west.
he misses this at times, the chances and hopes that he lost, but despite that, i actually think he loves being a vampire. he loves the chase, the thrill of it all. he loves doing whatever he wants, whenever he pleases
one last thing, this man loves music. all 4 of them do, really. i feel like he'd listen to anything that isn't rap or pop. he also listens to country but doesn't let the other boys know that, they'd probably never let him live it down
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let me know what you think ! whether you agree or disagree, i'm open-minded
i love david, honestly. i know he wouldn't love me back, cause I mean, have we watched the same movie ? but he's still my pookie bear
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mandy-asimp · 1 day ago
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Baby Whisperer
Early seasons pregnant JJ where will doesn't want the kid (no hate on will or nun) but yn takes JJ in cus they're in looove and they becaome a baby whispererer
Warnings: internalized homophobia so brief l, love Will right? But he's kinda an ass, so don't hate me and go saying I hate Will cus I don't. I love Will lamon-I need subtitles to understand him only sometimes-Tage.
A/n~ chat this has been in my drafts for months soooo I finally ended it so enjoy
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Walking in, Y/n wasn't really expecting to run into a crying JJ in the garage. The woman looked absolutely destroyed and like she just needed anyone.
That's how she found herself in the parking lot of a local burger joint with the blonde. "Now...I only got us an extra hour before we have to go in....do you wanna talk about it?"
Y/n liked to approach everything carefully. It wasn't always her place, but she knew sometimes everyone wanted just someone else's company. She was honestly prepared for JJ to say that it was just a rough morning and she'd be over it in no time.
"I'm pregnant and Will left." She whispered. Trying with everything in her not to start crying again, especially when they were at her favorite burger place. "He..he said that he wasn't ready for a kid and I am. He said I could've have the kid, but if I did..."
"He'd walk..."
"I'm going to have nowhere to go. I can't afford a place on such short notice. I can't do that all and still worry about my job. I just...I can handle a lot. That's what my job is..but I-"
"Come stay with me." Y/n threw it out before she could even think it over. Her mouth just moved on it own. "I have two sore rooms. One can be yours and we'll make the other a nursery."
JJ furrowed her brows and was flushing red. "I-I couldn't ask that much of you."
"Yes you can. And you're not asking me. You would do the same if it was the other way around." Y/n took a bite of her burger. Eyes not daring to meet the blue ones that were for sure staring down her every move.
"What's in it for you though? I mean, nobody offers without anything in return." The blonde raised the question.
The short black bob shook. "I'm getting to know you and whoever you," she pointed towards her belly, "will be are safe every night. Plus, I'm kinda a baby whisperer so it'll give me the chance to get solid evidence."
A soft smile formed on the blondes lips. "And that's it? No other strings attached?"
"All you should have to worry about is taking care of yourself. I'm just here to help make it easier."
"Deal then." JJ agreed. "What if though-"
"Usually when people say deal they don't add any conditions after." Y/n had a sly smile on her face.
JJ was quick to throw her arm to wack the other's. "In return you get God parent privileges?"
Y/n was also quick, quick to shake her head. "There's nothing in it for me. That's my conditions. Plus Penelope would be on me for that title. All I truly will take is knowing you're safe."
JJ waited and watched for any sign that she could be lying. That there was some second meaning to this offer....but there wasn't. Y/n was honest in what she wanted.
"Alrighty then. I'll move in with you." JJ gave in fully.
~
By then end of the day, the two had everything planned out. They spent most of their time in JJ's office discussing how move in would work and how quick they wanted to get it done.
"No! You're not gonna carry everything. I may be pregnant but I'm not that type of pregnant yet." JJ folded her arms and leaned back in her chair. They had been bickering over a lot of things. Mostly because Y/n kept offering to be so nice.
The brunette shrugged, "well what if you carry the lighter boxes then? I just..I don't want you to strain yourself. Eventually, that baby is going to grow and your back will forever hurt. I'm trying to keep you free from that ache early."
"And I appreciate it, but I'm still going to do this job aren't I? I'm going to ache no matter what. You have to let me have some lee way still." JJ held her ground.
Y/n threw her hands up into surrender. "Ok. You tell me what you still want to be able to do, and I'll try my best to not helicopter around."
There was a knock at the door. It caused both woman to sit up and glance towards the piece of wood. Finding Penelope staring at the notepads on the desk. "What's this about?" She moved quick over to the papers.
She didn't get a chance to look as they both grabbed them from view. "Our marriage contract." Y/n was quick to drop. "We're writing what we won't do, it's mostly our worst habits."
"Oh...ok well Will is here to talk to you." She informed before giving one last suspicious look. "What are you two up to?"
"Thank you Penelope," Y/n hummed before looked back to the other blonde. "This is my cue to leave. Let me know what happens..."
Y/n bowed her head before leaving. Pushing Penelope away as well. They walked back towards the bullpen, passing Will on the way. Y/n couldn't help the look she gave him. JJ held him in high praise, so to think he would walk was crazy.
JJ was still holding the notepad when Will walked in. "We need to talk about this morning. I wasn't thinking but I don't think you are either." He began. "We're too young to have a baby Jayge! We shouldn't spend all that money now. Let's just wait a few more years. Get married first maybe?"
She took a deep breath in as the tears stung her eyes. "I want this baby. And if you don't, then you won't have anything to do with this baby."
"You will have nothing without me." He spat in defense. And for a moment, he swore he was right. That she wouldn't have anywhere to go. That she needed him.
"I don't need you. And especially with that tone, I will never need you. If you don't want to be a father yet, then you can leave." She shot him down almost instantly. Eyes trained to the window.
There was silence as he stood there. He huffed and rubbed his eyes. "You can't seriously be throwing away our relationship for a baby? It's still my baby."
She shook her head, "no. This is my baby. You have now openly said you don't want any child. So once again, I don't need you. We don't need you." Her voice was vicious as she bit him. Practically hearing his defeat before moving towards the door.
"You're gonna regret this. You're gonna need me." He pointed one last time.
Y/n laughed from behind him. "The only one who needs anything is you. And you need to leave." She folded her arms over her chest as the man left the building in a fit of rage.
JJ let her head drop into her hands as she started crying. Y/n was quick to close the door and draw the blinds. Giving the two perfect privacy as she came around and hugged the blonde. Letting her cry it out.
~
A few weeks go by, and JJ had been moved in to Y/n's place. "Ya' know, I didn't think you'd have a house."
"Really? I give apartment to you or what?" Y/n carried a few boxes up to the extra room. Training days with Morgan always seems to pay off.
JJ shrugged as she just followed behind. "I guess so. Why do you have a house? It's just you no?" The extra room was big. Bigger than what JJ had taken an extra room for. "No. It's too much."
"You already unloaded all your boxes. You're staying. And plus, I like having room to have people over, or to run around naked." Y/n winked over her shoulder. "You settle in, I'm going to cook dinner."
"And she cooks?" JJ furrowed her brows. Y/n has mentioned how she couldn't cook compared to Rossi, which JJ assumed meant she couldn't cook.
But the first night was all the evidence she needed. The host made orange chicken and it was beyond any takeout the blondes ever had. Even the rice was delicious. Too distracted by the food to even notice that Y/n left more for her than herself.
~
Four months had gone by and the two moved like a couple. From JJ's perspective, this was just Y/n being helpful.
Every morning she would wake to the smell of some breakfast and coffee. Trudging out, Y/n would be dancing around with her headphones on as she plated the dish of the morning. She would be in nothing but an oversized shirt.
That's how their mornings would all start. Having breakfast together.
Then they would drive to work and act just like colleagues. Minus how Y/n would always know exactly what JJ was craving and had it right when she wanted it. There they would eat lunch in the blondes office while discussing the work drama.
Y/n would leave the office by two and head back to her own desk. Working in silence as she thought of what she would be making for dinner.
"We're heading to lunch you coming?" Emily would offer by three.
"No I already ate with JJ. We had classic pb&j's." Y/n answered, reminiscing in how good they were.
Derek scoffed with a laugh, "you tryna steal the spot of baby daddy or something? Spoiling her left and right."
"Mm, I got that spot within the second month. Baby whisperer remember?" She smiled up from her papers.
"I'll believe it when I see it," Derek flicked her forehead. He moved faster so Y/n would have to actually get up and chase him.
She did get up, sending him a mean glare. "You're lucky my senses are tingling and I bet you right now, she needs something."
That's when JJ came in, "Y/n could you come help me for a sec?"
That stumped Derek, he didn't know if she was serious about the sense or if it was perfect timing. But he left with everyone else for lunch as the two headed to the file room.
JJ needed a box of old files and it was just slightly out of reach and she wasn't in the mood to try and reach for it. Her back had been killing her all day.
The box was heavy as Y/n carried it to her office. "That back still hurting?" JJ groaned, answering the question without words. "Come here, I saw this on Facebook."
JJ came closer, standing right in front of Y/n a bit confused. With a twirl of the brunettes finger, her back now faced her front. Leaving her blind to Y/n coming up behind her and her hands coming to hold her belly. Lifting it a bit and releasing the stress and tension on her back. The feeling made her practically moan and melt into Y/n.
"This is so being added into our daily routine." She hummed. JJ had closed her eyes and let her head lull back to rest on the shoulder. "Five minutes like this ok?"
Y/n chuckled, but had agreed. The two stood in the middle of the office in silence. Y/n enjoying being helpful, and JJ enjoying the weightless feeling.
It even was mentioned during dinner prep. It's what they did, JJ would sit on the backside of the couch and look at the files she brought home, while Y/n did wonders in the kitchen.
First it starts with getting drinks out. JJ had juice while Y/n had wine. Sipping on it slowly as she prepped the Thai noodles.
"So," JJ had came over from the living room. "If I told you my back was aching again?" She was given a laugh which told her she needed to do more. It's how her head ended up on Y/n's shoulder and her arms wrapped around her.
"Ya' know the roles are supposed to be revered right? I'm supposed to hold you not the other way around? And I am cooking, if you can get through dinner I will sit behind you and hold your baby ok?"
"Deal." She placed a kiss to Y/n's cheek before slipping back to the couch. Missing the blush that arose mere seconds after her lips left.
Later, JJ had been in her room lying when she thought of how much Y/n was doing. It made her heart beat a little faster than normal. Which she assumed woke the baby as he began to kick.
It kept her up and wasn't very comfortable either. She knew Y/n said anything wouldn't be a bother, but what could Y/n do about this even if she did go over to the room. It couldn't hurt she figured, maybe there was something Y/n could do.
She crept through the dark house, realizing just how quiet of a person Y/n was. The sound only being the faint tv noises coming from the bedroom. Giving the door a soft knock, JJ pushed it open more and peeked in.
From the bed, a sleepy Y/n stared over at the door. "Jayge? What's wrong? Are you ok?" She sat up and scooted over, patting the large bed next to her.
"The baby, he's awake and kicking...you said you were a baby whisperer?" She came up to the bed, crawling into the comfortable sheets where Y/n was lying. Feeling her warmth still linger.
Y/n hummed as they both got comfortable, then she slid to rest her head against the belly. Whispering out of JJ's hearing, but within minutes, he was still again.
JJ tried to pick up on the vibrations, hoping they could give any distinction on the words but it was useless. So she just let them carry her to sleep, knowing another day of work waited her.
Meanwhile Y/n was mumbling over what honey was and how it tastes in tea. Even offering to make him some in the morning instead of the coffee. Which she also apologized for assuming he would want coffee. She also mumbled about the different breakfast choices. Eventually drifting off to sleep herself.
~
JJ woke up first that morning, finding Y/n to be practically molded around the belly and so incredibly close to her. She could feel the extra body heat and enjoyed how it felt. She also enjoyed how Y/n's bed felt.
She realized this was the first time since moving in she was up before Y/n. Even on cases Y/n was up before her.
"My senses are tingling?" Y/n groggily spoke. "He wants the tea I told him about."
JJ felt a kick at the words. Making her question if it was witchcraft or Y/n actual was a baby whisperer. "He doesn't even know what tea is?"
"Yeah he does, I told him all about it. Just like I told him about honey. He really likes the sound of it." Y/n slipped from the bed, her hand delicately caressing the exposed skin of the belly.
The action made JJ shiver and the baby kick. "What else did you tell him about?" She let her hand fall to her stomach and began to get up with the other.
"I told him about music and what's the right type of music, also about what's the best type of fashion." Y/n rambled as she led them to the kitchen. Beginning to make the tea.
JJ frowned at the new choice. "What if I don't want tea? I like my morning coffee," she complained. Knowing that no matter what, Y/n always claimed to know what was 'gonna do it' for her, and she was usually right. "What are you putting in it?"
"It's with honey, sugar, and a dash of cinnamon. You'll love it just as much as he will. I've never steered us wrong and you can bet today won't be the day." She joked from the counter, rummaging to find the kettle that was tucked away.
When she pulled it out, JJ almost laughed audibly. "There's no way you're gonna use that?"
Y/n shot a look over her shoulder, "you seriously don't trust my ways?" She kept working with the kettle. Filling it before setting it on the stove. "He can tell you it's the right way even." The baby kicked and a new smile formed on Y/n's face.
JJ was entranced by it as the brunette came over. Crouching in front of her and whispering again to her belly. And it was the blonde who was smiling even wider. Y/n was an absolute wizard with the baby. Things just seemed to get so much easier for the both of them.
The moment made her think though. Would Y/n stick around even after the baby was born? Why wouldn't she though? Nobody's ever shown this much attention to JJ, let alone her baby. She was thriving in it and she hoped she would still get this side of Y/n.
The screeching of the kettle brought her back and she just barely processed the fingertips sliding from her sides. Had Y/n been holding her hips?
"Have you thought of any names yet?" Y/n let the question slip out as she poured the steaming water. "I know it's still early, but five months."
"Honestly? No. Usually it's something you would discuss with the other person...a unanimous agreement." She sighed as the tea was brought over. Bringing her nose down close to the mug, she smelt the steaming liquid. "This smells...amazing."
Y/n smirked, "I told you I knew what I was doing. And you do realize not every baby has two parents deciding their names. This is your bundle of joy, you name him whatever you want. Just nothing with some dumb spelling."
JJ laughed lightly at that. "I know, but...I always thought I'd be having a kid with someone who I was married to. The whole traditional family." Y/n rolled her eyes. "What?"
"I just think...traditional isn't the best for you. I mean think 'bout it...you're about to become a single mother in the FBI. Life threw you a curve ball, but you're about to knock it out of the park."
"A baseball reference really?"
"Yeah not my best moment but my point is, you should get the reward of naming him what you want. He's yours till forever." Y/n reasoned, meeting the blue oceans with a soft gaze.
The conversation got lost as they just stared in silence at one another. Y/n always looked at JJ with so much care. She's shown it enough that the blonde sometimes feels guilty for how much of Y/n's attention she holds...but she'd be upset if it was on anyone else. It was wrong, especially because they weren't dating. Not that...JJ would..it had to be the hospitality getting to her.
Y/n sighed before grabbing her mug and opening the fridge. "I'm thinking French toast with some fruit? Extra sweet? Oooh and maybe some icing." She thought out loud. Humming in delight when JJ huffed at the baby kick.
The rest of the morning was natural. They ate breakfast and chatted for a bit before going upstairs to change. That's how everyday started.
But the mornings conversation trailed around JJ all day. Even her following thoughts. Suddenly everything was being questioned by her. From Y/n to bringing lunch, to her driving them home again with her hand on the clutch.
Another night, when once again, the baby was up and kicking. It also became a regular occurrence. Soon, JJ just ended up following Y/n to her room.
"Ya' know, when I offered an extra bedroom, I didn't mean mine." Y/n joked as they were getting ready to settle down for the night.
"Five months ago was so long ago though. Plus, he likes you talking him back to sleep. You truly are a baby whisperer." The blonde tried to reach the straps on her heels, groaning when she couldn't.
It was the tiny things that Y/n noticed. Once the bed creaked, she was over and kneeling to take off the shoes. Doing it before she could even realize she was.
JJ would've described it as a domestic moment. And when the thought crossed her mind, her heart thumped in her chest.
"Yeah, I'm great." She hummed in agreement. Y/n stood back up and was looking down at JJ now. Her content smile slowly fading. "I'm always gonna be here for you, you know that right?"
The words were just that. Words. Yet, JJ felt them strike her heart and shake her spine. It had to be the hormones that moved her to tears though. "You mean it?"
A hesitant hand came up to her cheek, it was warm and soothing. "I do, I don't plan on leaving your side any time soon. I promise. I pinky promise you Jayge."
Y/n pulled her hand back and held up her pinky. Expecting the woman to just connect hers, but was greeted with a tight hug as JJ cried into her shoulder. The brunette held her head close to her while the other wrapped around her back.
That was the night that they both knew their relationship was bound to change. Both cared and needed the other.
Although, the change brought tension to the breakfast table that morning. Not bad tension, just tension. Neither one could say anything or stop looking at the other.
Y/n took it as the ultimate test as well. To see if she was truly a baby whisperer without talking to JJ. Through all the staring, Y/n had managed to decide on a breakfast.
Cooking in silence, she began to get lost in her work. Humming a sweet little tune as she swayed at the stove. Continuing her tune as she played the homemade breakfast sandwiches.
Usually in the morning, the two sit across from each other, but today Y/n nodded towards the couch. Leading over and dropping her plate before going back for drinks.
They sat thigh to thigh as they ate. The only noise was JJ's hum and her 'oof' at the aggressive baby kick. He also seemed to enjoy it.
Their silence traveled with them through the day. When they got ready, Y/n knew JJ's routine flawlessly and had anything she needed at the ready. The car ride to work? Only the radio spoke as Y/n drove their normal path. Her hand itched to leave the clutch and rest on JJ's thighs.
One thing Y/n wasn't ready for, was how cute JJ actually would look pregnant. It wasn't like she wasn't cute before, JJ's always been adorable in Y/n's eyes. But this, this was the softest looking Jennifer she had ever met.
By the time they got to the parking garage, they had a few minutes to spare. So they sat in silence and stared at each other once again. Both looking like they were trying to figure out the other. Yet, they never figured anything out as they had to go in.
~
Another month had gone by. Emily grabbed her bag as she was ready to leave for the day. "I'm going home and never coming back. This week has been so shitty." She groaned.
"Sounds like you need a drink," Derek smirked. He too had his bag in hand. "I'm sure Penelope and Spencer would love to come with."
"Not even gonna invite Y/n?" Emily nodded towards the still focused agent. Not leaving room for his answer as she came towards the desk. Tapping her out of her trance. "You wanna come with?"
"I'm on baby whisperer duties. JJ has been struggling to sleep since he keeps kicking around nine. I'm the one who talks him and her to sleep." She explained her situation. Not really minding that she'd miss another night out.
Derek squinted his eyes. "One, this is why I wasn't gonna invite her. Always on baby duties. And two, you're all this talk about being a baby whisperer but we've never seen it in action. JJ hasn't even confirmed this once in her six months."
"Well then let me confirm it now. Because id be absolutely exhausted without her. She explains what such simple things are and then she knows. She knows what this baby likes and wants." The blonde came out with her bag, handing it to Y/n's expecting hand. "And these? JJ sense's? It's like having a personal telepath."
Spencer rose up now, "do you really believe in telepaths though? Especially to a baby? How can you be so sure?"
"Well I can tell you right now, that for dinner we're having honey chicken biscuits on his request." Y/n's thumb rolled to point towards JJ's belly. And on cue, he kicked.
She shook her head and smiled. "Like a personal telepath. We are heading out though, I now know what's for dinner and we're both hungry."
"Baby whisperer," Y/n whispered as she wiggled her fingers before following out the blonde.
The team watched the two leave. Sharing the same thought. "They're so in love," Penelope spoke it out loud though.
Back home, the two sat and laughed over everything from the day. They never ran out of something to talk about. And they wouldn't once the baby was born.
"So, six months. Third trimester. Three months till you'll be asked for his name....any ideas?" Y/n pried from her seat. She sat criss cross to be able to look at the blonde.
JJ sighed on the topic again. "I mean a few but none that have tugged at me and stood out. What about you? Have you been thinking?"
"Mm JJ last month would've said this is a partner discussion. Why's this month asking else wise?" Y/n dug into the words. Meaning it in such a playful manner.
JJ laughed along, trying to ignore her heart beat. "Well you've done nothing but tend to me for the past six months. So you should get some say."
There was a hum in agreement. "I've thought a little bit, and all I thought of was Dakota or Henry." Y/n truthfully answered. Knowing that the decision was going to be JJ's no matter what.
"I like the sound of Henry, actually. How'd you think of it?" The blonde stood from her spot, knowing he would begin to kick again within a few minutes.
Y/n yawned, "I didn't think of it, he picked it." She so simply stated before her hands fell to JJ's back, pushing her towards the stairs. "I'm telling you, our best conversations are after you fall asleep."
"Listen, I've been with you on the whole baby whisperer but there's no way he chose his name." JJ was drawing the line of baby whisperer now. She slowly led upstairs, not noticing how Y/n's hand never left her back.
"Ok...back in college I double majored with criminal justice. I also have a PhD in philosophy. It's my retirement plan. But, one of the many philosophers I followed for a time was Henry of Ghent. I won't get into it, but he was an interesting philosopher. Made a big impact and I think so will he." Y/n gently poked JJ's side. A fond smile on her face as she thought of the next few years.
JJ was in awe. She knew Y/n to an extent but within the few months, she's met almost ever side of Y/n. And this new found knowledge of her smarts, it almost explained her always calm manor. Did she just question everything as well?
"A philosopher? You have some tricks up your sleeve still?" The blonde hummed out her question.
"I'm a jack of all trades," she whispered. If the two weren't as close as they were, the blonde would've missed it. Like how she missed the way Y/n was looking at her.
"Well I like it. Henry. Although what about a nickname?" She raised the next question. Opening the door and stretching her arms, her shirt lifted just barely.
Y/n caught the glimpse of skin. Wanting to reach out and touch, but knowing she would cause nothing but trouble if she did.
"You could call him 'Hen' for short...add a cluck or two after." Y/n smirked to her own joke. Not being quick enough from when JJ turned around to her arm getting whacked. "Hey!"
"Don't bully my kid," she squinted her eyes. Already beginning her night routine. "You could ask him?"
Y/n laughed from the bathroom attached to the room. She walked to the doorway with a fuzzy headband on her head, pushing her hair out her face. "Thought there was a line to my abilities?"
JJ, from the dressers, threw a look of pleading over. Standing straight up, tossing the clothes to the bed, and coming right up to Y/n. Standing toe to toe with the brunette who had a few inches on her. "There is, but prove me wrong."
Y/n heard the undertone. What it was fully, she didn't know, but she heard it loudly. "Challenging me?"
"Since day one."
And it was true in some sense. JJ had expressed early on she didn't believe in the sixth and seventh senses. They just sounded crazy and unrealistic. But as the months went on, it was clear Y/n did have these senses. How far they went, was something JJ wanted to know before the nine months was up.
Y/n's hand brushing back a strand of hair brought her back from her thoughts. She watched something swim in the e/c eyes that stared back at her. She saw it but couldn't pin it.
"You truly have been," Y/n huffed before leaving their moment. Heading deeper into the bathroom and leaving JJ to talk her heart down.
That night, Y/n had fallen asleep second. Leaving JJ to be awake by herself. It's how she found out her new favorite fact of Y/n. She likes to mumble in her sleep. But she didn't get to enjoy it too long as sleep soon took over her as well.
The next morning was the start of the final crunch. Three months, if all goes to plan, until the baby would be born.
JJ had woken to tiny feet kicking her from the inside. The second thing she noted was the lack of body heat next to her.
"Rise and shine! Happy Saturday! And boy do I have a question to ask you!" Y/n came in with tea and breakfast already made. The still half asleep blonde sat up. "Henry, still discussing nicknames, did decide on cinnamon Nutella crepes with strawberries. He's having a sweet tooth today. And his tea, just how he likes it."
The blonde couldn't help but blush at the tray sat down on her lap. "And your breakfast?" She raised a brow as Y/n sat down.
She made a quick oh before running to get her plate. Clearly eager to have a discussion. But it didn't come out right away, the question. Instead their breakfast was casual conversation.
"So, what was your question?" JJ asked as she finished her plate. "Absolute delicious by the way."
Y/n smiled as she cleared the plates. Taking a brief moment to run down to the kitchen and back up. "Have you thought of the nursery yet?"
The blue eyes went wide. "Oh my god, no. I didn't even consider a baby shower yet!"
"Perfect! Penelope is on her way to help us plan. We'll have it here of course. Whatever theme, well actually...Henry chose his theme already. I've explained him over the past few weeks different themes. And he chose pumpkins. Did I sway him based on the color scheme, maybe?" Y/n laid on her side as she explained everything. Hand propping her head up.
JJ was leaning on one hand, leaning closer to the other. "And this isn't you trying to pick the theme?"
Y/n looked up to her, "you wanna ask Henry?"
"Using that name free willing. How do you know I'll pick it?" She poked now. Enjoying their morning bicker.
The brunette made a thinking face, "maybe because I am some sort of telepath and I am able to read your thoughts. But..he'll kick in agreement with me. It's how we do. We locked in. One of the same mind." She began to joke a bit more.
It did earn her a laugh, one she enjoyed hearing very much. "If that's the case, how am I supposed to move out then? He'll never want to leave you."
There was a loud, echoing beat of silence. The two stared at each other. Like the night they knew their relationship was bound to change. The thought crossed their minds at the same time and the air suddenly became thick.
They were already so close.
Y/n sat up and a warm hand cupped JJ's right cheek. "Then don't leave...stay here with me." She was delicate with her words. A hopeful glimmer in her eyes that was begging more than her tone.
JJ could feel herself get choked up. These hormones were just horrible. Tears pricked her eyes as she leaned into the touch. "You couldn't possibly mean it?"
"I do. I..I find myself enjoying every moment with you here. It feels like a home actually. And even not for me..for him. Give him a home to grow up in." Y/n sounded a bit desperate to keep her. It was selfish and she knew that but it's what she wanted.
The blonde could read it off her body. The honesty and it warmed her entire body, feeling warmer when Y/n shuffled in her knees to be right there.
"Let me take care of you both..." she whispered. Her eyes dropped to the soft looking lips. How they were just barely parted. Then they snapped back up to JJ's.
They were watering as they sat there. Hearts beating as this was it. The moment they'd been beating around. The day their relationship was changing.
"Y/n..." JJ would faintly speak. Her eyes jumping all over. The other could sense her worries and knew she shared them as well, but everything has risks. Living in worries would lead nowhere.
The brunette close the gap. Pouring loads of affection into the kiss as she felt JJ kiss back. Smiles creeping on both their faces. Pulling back, they still smiled as they just looked at the other.
Y/n felt joy from her toes to every strand of hair. It's why she grabbed JJ's faces and kissed all over her face. Kissing away the few fallen tears. "I promise to protect you for everything I am. Both of you." She said right before placing another kiss to her lips.
JJ let adoration take over her face as she held the others face in her hands. "I know you will. You have already been and I can't thank you enough."
"You can thank me in kisses from now on?" She playfully raised a solution. Letting the blonde feel the heat that radiated off her cheeks with the blush.
"You can expect them more often," JJ began to get up. Turning to face Y/n who was risen on her knees at the edge of the bed. She sent a simple wink before getting off herself. "I'm going to change first, maybe shower as well."
"Let me know if you need anything," Y/n was about to leave the room. A hand holding her wrist stopped her. Her head turned as she questioned JJ.
There was this new look to her eyes. "It's hard to wash below the belly..."
Y/n turned a bright red once realizing what was being asked. Fingertips to her lips, she was shocked. "Are you sure? We don't have to really, that's not what I was trying to imply-,"
"Will you join me or not?" JJ cut off. Knowing that rambling could go on forever if she let it.
"Yeah...yes, yeah! Obviously." Y/n breathed out. Following the blonde into the bathroom, and she was thankful for having a spacious shower.
The air was silent as the water started. Both watched the other undress. Although, Y/n stared more. Her eyes not being able to tear away from the woman. Taking in every detail she could within the moment. How her boobs overfilled the bra, her thighs were more full, her belly smooth, her hair free from any styling, and a tiny bit of sleep in her eyes still.
She came close and slowly let a hand slip onto the belly as she smiled so wide JJ felt nothing but peace. "You are beyond beautiful."
That was the first shower the two shared, and JJ was instantly a fan of it. She enjoyed how Y/n was so cautious about where her hands went. Not overstep or rushing into anything. No, instead she did everything for JJ. Spoiling her with being able to just relax.
Out the shower was even better. All that she had to do was sit there while Y/n got her everything and hum her little tune.
"You enjoy this don't you?" JJ had asked. Never once letting her eyes leave Y/n. "Anytime you really like something you're doing, you hum. When you cook without headphones, you hum. At work when you're making the tea, you hum."
"Guilty. Took you long enough to catch onto that though. I've been humming around you for years." Y/n admitted, starting to dress herself. Her fingers carefully working at the buttons of the brown flannel. Tucking a bit of it into the grey sweats. "But besides that, Penelope is almost here. You take your time, but I will have a little fruit bowl cut up and ready for you."
"Is that how you know my thoughts? You've been working on being a telepath?" She laughed a bit, only because that's exactly what she wanted in the moment.
Y/n came over and placed a kiss to her lips, "oh absolutely. Why do you think we always had your coffee stalked specifically? I pay attention."
JJ rolled her eyes and pushed the other away. "Whatever."
She flashed a smile before disappearing downstairs. Beginning to get things ready for Penelope to come splay out all her party planning supplies. Which meant rearranging the downstairs to be open enough. Putting most effort into where the three would sit and look over everything.
It wasn't easy, but she knew it was beneficial. Y/n's seen the bubbly blonde plan before at her own house. It gets crazy. This time was no different either. She showed up, did her greetings and began to splay everything out.
Too engrossed in it, she missed the kiss the two shared as JJ came downstairs finally. Wearing one of Y/n's old college sweatshirts and a pair of sweats.
They began a hushed conversation as their guest kept working on laying everything out. "How long has she been here?"
"For at least fifteen minutes. Just know, it is opinion welcomed, but just know pumpkins were indeed my idea. Henry doesn't know anything about baby showers." Y/n came clean. Earning a wack to the arm.
JJ pointed her finger, "I knew you weren't that good."
Penelope spun around abruptly. "JJ! Mama of the shower! Are you ready to dive in?" Her smile was genuine and her hands clasped together.
With a hesitant nod, JJ walked over to the spot on the floor. Entering what might've been a planning nightmare to her.
~
It was any day now. Y/n wanted to stay back on most of the cases now, but JJ urged her to go anyways.
"It wouldn't serve them any good if we're both here. I will have Penelope by my side don't worry." JJ tried to reassure her every time. It did little to help, but it was enough to get her to go.
"Promise you'll call if anything changes?" Y/n had her bag slung over her shoulder. Eyeing the labor bag that was tucked under her desk.
JJ came from behind the desk. Being even shorter since she was free of her heels. Wearing the fuzzy slippers Y/n had bought her not too long ago. "Pinky promise. Now go," she placed a kiss, "save a girl." Playfully saluting, Y/n left the office.
Yet, she didn't. When the contractions started, she assumed it to be the false ones she's experienced before. So she brushed it off.
They only started after the jet had taken off for home. It would be another three hours before the team came back. Before Y/n came back.
As she sat next to Penelope, her hand held her stomach as she tried to avoid groaning (it didn't work). The friend picked up on these tiny groans after awhile. That's how they found out JJ was in labor.
But she wasn't ready. Y/n wasn't there and she needed her for this part. "I have to call Y/n..."
"From the car," Penelope ushered her out the bat cave. They walked through the halls quickly to get to the elevators, bumping into Emily and Jordan.
Emily furrowed her brows, "what's going on?"
Penelope beamed widely, "I am not a doctor, I don't even play one on tv, but JJ is going into labor!"
Emily shared the same smile now. Her head turning to look at Agent Todd. "I hope you're ready cause your job starts right now."
The two friends kept talking but the soon to be mother could only think of Y/n. Handles fumbling with her phone just to get the contact open. Each ring making her heart pound a little harder.
"Baby?" Her voice came through the phone. "What's up?" Face contorting, JJ groaned into the phone. "I assume Penelope and Emily are with you?" A small, pained, 'mm-hmm' was given. "Just breathe, it's gonna be ok. You've prepared for this. I will be there as soon as I can I promise you."
It was true, they've ran through everything together already. But when it came time to actually push, and there was still no sight of Y/n, JJ suddenly couldn't do it. This was too scary to face alone. Where was Y/n?
"I can't..." she whispered as the doctors came in. Her eyes were quick to look at Penelope. "No. I can't....where's Y/n?" The panic began to pick up and the room sensed it.
"The jet touched down awhile ago, she should be here any second now. But you have to breathe hun," Penelope tried to calm her. Her attempts doing nothing as she shook her head. "I'll have emily call her, but you have to calm down."
JJ felt the tears sting her eyes. Nobody was going to be there to hold her. They had talked about how they would do things together but now it was only her. The tears began to fall. "I need her. I don't know how to do this alone," she began to get even more worked up.
"She needs to calm down, the stress isn't good for her or the baby." The nurse whispered to Penelope.
It was agonizing for JJ to lay there alone. It tore Y/n apart knowing that as well. She was driving as fast as she could, tempted to turn the sirens on. But every turn felt like another, turn after turn, eventually leading to the hospital.
She was frantic with trying to get in. The lady at the desk could sense it as well as she gave up the room number. Watching as Y/n full sprinted to the stairs and up them. Bursting through the third floors door and towards the delivery room.
The sounds of JJ protesting to start pushing filling the silent hall. Y/n picked up her pace and barged in. The room turning to face her, but she was only looking to the blonde in bed.
"You're here!" She almost screamed. The tears falling finally as her hands gripped the side of the bed.
The brunette came closer, standing on the side of the bed, and placing a kiss to her forehead. "I am hunny," she calmed her. Hand slipping to hold hers and taking the squeezing.
"Alright Jennifer, you're ready to start pushing." The doctor finally came in. "Oh hello, you must be Y/n. Nurses can we get her ready?" They worked quickly. Scared honestly to take her too far away from JJ.
The team that came with sat in the lobby. Waiting for any update from the woman. "Ok...but did anyone else think they would've told us they gotten together?" Penelope raised. "Because coming in and calling her 'hunny'? It was almost natural, so it's been more than a week or two."
"Y/n is so that child's father." Emily sat down with a coffee in hand. "I'm just surprised that it took living with her for JJ to realize that she would've dropped everything ages ago."
"We'll factor in the job and she wouldn't have noticed if Y/n never feared her home." Hotch pitched into the building theory now. His eyes trained to his phone however.
Spencer came in shortly after. "How is she?" He didn't rush as fast from the jet to the hospital like Hotch and Y/n did. "Y/n make it in time?"
He sounded like he knew something and Emily and Penelope shared a look. "What do you know about those two?" One would ask.
He shrugged, "they've been dating since the start of the third trimester. They told me right away." He didn't see how important that information was.
Both women had their jaws dropped as the news had been broken. The lies they've been fed in that time as well. They had broken off into their own conversation. Discussing how they could've missed it and how well their teammates hid it. Also on reasons Reid would know first.
Spencer took the seat next to Hotch. "Did she make it though?" He asked, knowing how important this was to the both of them.
"She did. And those two came back saying it should be any minute." He gestured to Emily and Penelope. Then he looked back to the genius. "Why did they tell you first?"
"They said it was because they knew I wouldn't say anything anyways. Also because I caught them in JJ's office sharing a sweet moment." He explained.
The moment he had scene was Y/n whispering to Henry to calm down, JJ had been complaining of it for hours that day. Then right as he was about to knock, Y/n placed a kiss to the belly then shared one with JJ. Both smiling before realizing he was there. It left them with no choice but to mention it to him.
After that, the lobby fell into a peaceful silence as they waited. It was unlike the delivery room. Full of JJ's screams and puffing. Y/n's hands felt broken as she sat behind and encouraged her through everything.
But, she would admit, her broken bones were worth every second. Even as she brushed through JJ's hair as she finally could rest, she could only think of their future together now.
Pressing a soft kiss to her sweaty hairline. "You're amazing." She whispered into the others ear. "You're gonna be an amazing mom."
The blonde hummed in acknowledgement. Her hand slowly intertwining with Y/n's. "Thank you for everything." She felt the shift from behind her and groaned with confusion.
"You should get some rest. There's four agents who want to meet Henry." She explained her disappearing, placing another kiss to her forehead. "I'll be back in a few to sit by your side."
~
A few weeks had passed and it was a guessing game on who would come back first. Neither of the two had really mentioned anything to anyone.
"I'm placing bets it's JJ first. If it was love-sick Y/n, she would've mentioned her return in the group chat." Derek placed his money down. A twenty sat on Emily's desk, waiting for hers to accompany it.
"I place bet it's Y/n first," Rossi laid his while walking past. It surprised the two that he wanted in on it.
Emily had to think of a third out come suddenly. "I bet one of them resigns." She threw out the crazy possibility. Knowing she was loosing twenty in the end no matter what. Even the two men looked at her in question. Her only answer was a shrug and a lost 'I dunno'.
Meanwhile, JJ was up and getting ready for her return to work. Her heels clacking against the smooth wood into the kitchen. Smiling at the sight of Y/n dancing around Henry as she cooked for them.
"You teaching him some moves?" The blonde laughed as she found her cup of coffee. She moved to place a kiss to her baby's head. "Good morning, handsome boy."
Y/n beamed happily, "he already has them. I think it's from all the dancing we did. Good morning hun," the brunette spun around the island to give a morning kiss. "Are you ready for your return?"
JJ's smiled dropped slowly as she stared at Y/n. She was still in her pajamas and hardly ready for a day. "Are you sure this is what you want to do? No one is asking you to do this as much as I appreciate it."
Y/n lightly laughed, they'd been through this so many time within the last few weeks. "If I didn't want to leave, I wouldn't. But I know you love that job with everything in you and someone has to be here for Henry. And...maybe it's time I use my backup plan? The FBI was a good money plan that's given me a lot of skills, but I'm ready for a casual life."
The blonde searched for any sign there was a lie. That Y/n did want to come back with her. That it should be Y/n going back today and not her. But this is what she was choosing and there was no changing her mind.
So, she nodded and let the conversation go. "What do you have planned today?" Was the new topic.
Y/n plated the breakfast for the two of them, and the bottle for Henry. "Well, me and Henry are going to go out grocery shopping later. Then I'll come back and clean a little while he's down for a nap. But that's if I stick with the plan."
JJ hummed, "you truly are a blessing Y/n. The BAU will miss you." Her arms lazily wrapped around the others neck. "I'll miss you the most at work."
"Just gives you a good reason to come home at the end of everything. Two good reasons actually." She had a tiny smirk on her lips. "And because I can hear your worries, we'll be fine. I was an agent myself, I know how to kick ass. Oh but we should get a dog!"
The blonde shook her head at the sudden switch. Knowing these mornings would be her favorite moments. "I can't even tell you no, it's your house." She moved back to where her coffee mug sat.
Y/n playfully scoffed, "as if this is just my house." She came around from her spot and hugged JJ from behind. Placing a kiss to her shoulder, then her neck, then her ear.
The woman hummed in satisfaction. "You're right, it's a home. We just live in it." She joked. Remembering the first time that they realized it was their home.
"It's our home, baby." Y/n placed one more kiss to her head before slipping away again.
JJ knew this was when she would go change finally and get ready. It gave her time to sit with Henry and think of the luck she's been given. "She's right ya' know. It's our home." She spoke to the baby who just smiled to her. The blonde couldn't help the smile that came from her either. "You're gonna be in such good hands. We both are, we have been...we have someone who is our protector." The baby laughed
"Mm, I'll protect you till my final breath. Both of you." The other came back. She was in an old college sweatshirt and a pair of black leggings. Crew socks running up past her ankles.
She walked in closer to the two, placing a kiss to both their heads. Swearing in secrecy to literally put her life on the line for these two. That she was willing to give up her own life because of the love that swarmed her body every time they were near. Even when they weren't near, she still felt the connection flow so easily.
She sat in the stool right near the table. "You'll say hi to everyone for me right? Also before you tell them ask about the bet they probably have, I put money Rossi wins." Her smile was goofy but she knew the joke eased some nerves.
The blonde hummed softly, "you'll call if you need anything?" She stood and moved closer. Her hand coming to hold Y/n's face.
Her empty mug being taken into the others hands. "I promise to call. You promise not to worry too much?"
JJ chuckled before pressing a kiss to her hairline, "I'll try my best." She made work at getting ready to leave, tying her coat up by the front door.
Her hand grasped at the handle and before she could step forward, arms were around her holding her tightly. And then the realization hit in a little more. Y/n wasn't coming back to work with her. There would be a new open spot and there wouldn't be her on cases anymore. Honestly, a part of JJ felt like the other had this planned and it worked out in both their favors. So she turned and held her close and tight.
Both were suppressing the tears now. Yet, when they pulled away the brunette was smiling widely with glassy eyes. "Sorry, sorry. I just couldn't help it. Get home safe for me ok? I know I said I'd protect you, but I need you to stay alive to be protected, yeah?" JJ inhaled sharply and nodded her head. Words were only going to make her break and cry. "Ok," a kiss placed to her cheek. "Go. Get to work. Call me if you need anything, I love you. Get home safe. And ask about the bet."
The words of love almost were missed, but JJ caught them. They pushed the tears over and soon she was crying heavily while holding onto her girlfriend. Not caring if she was late before her first day back.
~
"Well look who's back first!" Derek wore his cocky grin as he walked to the small pile of twenties. Hand grabbing them and flaunting them around.
JJ shook her head, "she wanted me to ask about that. What was everyone's guess?"
Emily after rolling her eyes at the bald man sighed. "Derek said you'd come back first, Rossi said the other, and I said someone would resign."
She weighed everyone's chances of winning. "Well let me tell you, that one of you is right and it's not the man with the money." She tilted towards Derek who was still bragging. It really only left one answer and Emily shouted when she realized it.
"No!" Her eyes were wide and jaw was dropped. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" Her hands were thrown up into the air.
Penelope had just came in with the newspaper. "Oh Emily's dropping f-bombs before ten! What's the news?" She hurried over to the other two, eager to hear the new drama.
"I won the bet! And I'm not happy about it either!" She groaned before going up to Derek. Ripping the sixty dollars out his hand. "I'm not pleased to do this."
"Wait...but your bet.." her eyes jumped to JJ who was nodding at the unasked question. "She resigned?!"
The realization caused a heavy silence. Everyone focusing on the open desk. All her decorations were still on it but soon they wouldn't be. Everything felt surreal as they all knew Emily's side of the bet was truly a joke, but now that it was true they didn't think it funny anymore. The entire day was filled with quietness and sorrow filled glances to the vacant desk.
Towards the end, after going serial killer free, JJ's phone rang as she came into the bullpen. "Agent Jareau."
"Ooh so formal. Now I know you don't check your caller id." Her voice came through the phone. The smile she wore was evident. "Are you on your way home?"
"Yeah, everyone's finishing up right now. I should be back in like thirty minutes? Why? What's up?" The blonde slowed her pace and stood still in the moment. A flash of worry hitting her as soon as she finished asking.
JJ could hear the smile from through the phone. "You should invite everyone over for family dinner. Mostly because I may have cooked more than needed and need people to eat it all."
The blonde laughed lightly and looked over to her colleagues. "Right, well then you can expect everyone in twenty. I'll see you at home," she agreed and caught the attention of the group.
"Love you," was the last thing said before the line went dead.
JJ sighed as they waited expectingly for the invite. Almost like they knew what was being asked. "You've been invited to dinner by the chef. She expects your attendance."
They all cheered and were quick to pack everything up. Trailing slightly behind JJ who left five minutes before them.
It gave her enough time to make it home and catch a breather before they showed up. And when she walked through the front door, the delicious smell of fried chicken floated through the house.
"Babe?" She called into the house, being louder than the music that played. She moved further in, not surprised by the sight she saw.
Y/n danced around Henry in his high chair as she plated all the food. It looked like a feast with how much she actually made. Once she noticed JJ, her feet did their own dance over to her. Rising on her tiptoes to place a passionate kiss to her lips. "And the woman of the house is home!" She cheered, getting Henry to laugh and clap along. She pulled JJ towards the kitchen, letting her take in the smell up close. "I had an inkling you were feeling steak today."
The blonde side eyed her for a moment. "I thought the JJ senses only worked with the baby in me?"
"No they work because I love you, always have been loving you, always will be loving you." She gave her another kiss and slipped away to get wine glasses ready.
"Really? And when did you know you loved me?" JJ asked as she left to drop her bag in the study. Letting her hair free from the slick back ponytail and shaking out her hair.
Y/n looked into the air, like she was searching for the right memory. "The day Hotch sent me a photo of us on the jet. I never showed you or mentioned it because I didn't know how you were going to feel if I did." She confessed while grabbing more glasses.
JJ furrowed her brows before heading up to change and settle in. Only taking a few minutes as she only did change and let her hair loose of its ponytail. When she came down a glass was ready at the bottom of the stairs with her girlfriend smiling softly up at her.
"What was the photo of?" She had came back to the question of a few moments ago. Taking the glass and really kissing those lips she's missed seeing smile around every corner. "Hello, baby."
The delicate way the words were delivered made Y/n grow a shy smile and a heavy blush as telling the truth now seemed impossible. And even as she did try to look away and avoid it, JJ had her jaw and forced her eyes up. A curiosity swarming in her eyes that was darker than usual.
There was a giggle before she seriously stared up, schooling her features. "The first case you started to come to me about talking Henry to sleep, we were on the plane and...maybe the man who never sleeps saw us all snuggled up on the couch. The next day he brought me in and had asked about us and I mean basically what I'm saying is Hotch has been knowing before we even were official."
JJ's jaw dropped as the other sprinted from her grasp and back into the kitchen. Being saved by the doorbell that was left for the blonde to answer. As she walked closer, she called over the music. "You're so dead when they leave." And with that she opened the door. Inviting in their loving work family who were all ready for a feast.
~
"So you decided to leave, why?" Derek asked while leaning back. His right hand slung over the couch around Garcia, while his left pointed with his beer that he brought close to him shortly after.
She followed his moves and leaned back in the chair as well, her own drink being set on the small table off to the side. "Well, I know- we know how much she loves her job. I don't think she would be ready to say good bye like that so easily. Plus my body's beginning to age...I can't kick ass forever."
Reid furrowed his brows, "you're only 26? How can your body already be aging where you can't fight crime?"
She shrugged anyways, "it just did. I have a kid now, and a baby." She beamed widely while the room lightly laughed.
The stairs creaked, "you just call me childish?" JJ had an arched brow as she went to grab her wine glass and come over to the living room. She passed the chair and an arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her down and carefully into another's lap.
"No, I'm calling you my baby." Y/n smiled even wider somehow. Body tingling with affection and warmth that consumed JJ.
"So what are you doing now?" Rossi raised the next question. "You seem to have a backup plan already, so out with it kid."
"I'm guest teaching at the college for philosophy. Along with a few guest lectures for the academy. It's just something slight to keep and extra flow." She had explained it so easily. The team wasn't oblivious to the softness in her voice as she spoke of her next career. It was like she was relieved from everything bad in the world. "I'll mostly just be around to be with Henry otherwise."
"And mama bear how does this make you feel?" Penelope furrowed her brows, curious on how the blonde was handling it so well. Unlike her who was going to fight it anyways.
JJ shrugged lightly and looked down to the other, "it's sad knowing I won't have someone tending to my needs like her. Otherwise, it's comforting knowing someone will always be able to protect Henry."
"Yeah, but think of the homage meals you'll come home to now. Kid knows how to cook, makes me wonder why I'm the only one giving lessons?" Rossi raises a brow. "Seriously, why the holding out? We could've been sharing recipes."
The chef laughed, "because my cooking was nothing compared to yours when I started. I learned in silence so I could do this one day." It was earnest of her. Their family sat in her living room enjoying the time they had of just peace. Glasses full of drinks as they chatted about freely. Sharing stories and laughter that chased away the reality of their jobs. "To the day I could cook for my family."
Penelope gushed as she began to fan her face. "Sugar you're too sweet!" She laughed and a few joined her. Derek had pulled her closer in a hug.
"We'll miss you," Hotch had mentioned. He raised his glass towards where she sat. Everyone joined in as well. A silent toast given in her regards.
"Yeah, yeah, enough sappiness people! I'm not dying or anything, I'm always around still. You'll know where to find me and I'll always have something cooked." She nodded with a wide smile. "My rule is though, you can't bring work talk in here. Home is a sacred place."
"It's gonna cost ya..." Emily shrugged while looking for an offer to balance it out. Even if it Y/n's house, she was going to try and get something knowing how much they talked about work.
She rolled her eyes once more, "I literally said I'd always have a meal cooked for you! Was that not enough?"
"You have to send leftovers with JJ since we won't be here every single night." Derek pointed, Emily snapped and agreed instantly.
"Yea..yea leftovers get sent out way." Emily repeated it and it made the room laugh at the antics.
Their conversations continued on until glasses began to empty and everyone began to head home. Exchanging hugs as they went. And eventually it was just the two back on the couch leaning against the other.
"I love you, you know that right?" Y/n had hummed before sipping on her drink, they had decided one more to end the night.
"I wouldn't have ever doubted it." JJ nuzzled her nose against the others neck, placing a soft kiss to her pulse point. "And I love you."
The vibrations from Y/n's hum tickled against her lips. But when she pulled away her smile had slightly faltered at the sudden appearance of the black box. "What's that?" She whispered.
"A gift, a promise." Was all she was given. With a shaky hand she opened the lid, revealing the citrine ring that was surrounded by a few diamonds. It was eye capturing but just enough to not be too much. "It's citrine."
"Henry's birthstone."
"When the time is right, I plan to get you another ring. I promise I'll get you another ring because I promise to never leave you. I know we've had this conversation, but I want you to know and have evidence I mean it. I love you beyond my words. I love Henry beyond my words. I want you both in my life till forever runs out." She simply spoke. Her hands reaching for the ring and slipping it onto JJ's slender fingers. There she kissed the rock on her hand. "I promise my all to you Jennifer Jareau."
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just-dreaming-marvel · 2 days ago
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I'm Not That Girl ~ Bucky's Version
MAIN MASTERLIST / MARVEL MASTERLIST / MUSICAL INSPIRED FIC MASTERLIST
40's!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Word Count: 1,140ish
Request:  hi lovely!! i hope you're doing well! can i request 40s!bucky with i'm not that girl?  i love wicked sm haha i've seen it three times on broadway and am going to see the movie again once finals are over
Warning(s): unrequited love
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“Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I’m not that girl”
Your heart was hammering against your chest as Bucky pulled you onto the dance floor. His smile was as big as ever, causing his eyes to shine and making you feel so lucky to be so close to him. If only you could always be this close to him.
“Come on, doll!” Bucky laughed. “Don’t make me to all the work!”
You smiled and began pulling your weight in the dance. Though the dance hall was crowded, it felt like it was just two of you. Almost anytime you spent with Bucky felt like that. The world around you both was silent and still, allowing you to lean too much into your heart.
“She’s here!” Bucky exclaimed, eyes locked on the entrance of the dance hall. “Y/N, she’s here!”
Your heart fell as he let you go and headed straight for the woman who held his heart. Dot.
“Don’t dream too far
Don’t lose sight of who you are
Don’t remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I’m not that girl”
“Hey, doll,” Bucky greeted with that smile heart-stopping smile. 
“Hey, Buck,” you responded. “What are you doing here?”
“Can’t a guy stop by to see his best girl?”
Best girl. You always felt joy when he called you that, causing you to push aside the true meaning of that title. You weren’t truly his best girl, but his best friend aside from Steve. 
“Plus, I need to talk to you,” he continued, stepping into your apartment. “I need some advice about Dot.”
“Oh, yeah, of course.” You took a deep breath as you closed the door, trying to reign in your emotions.
“I think I love her.”
Your hand fell from the handle of the door as your heart shattered. “Oh?” You turned around and headed into the kitchen to fix up a snack. You needed to focus on something else right now or you were going to lose it in front of Bucky.
“Yeah. She’s perfect, doll. Like… the best thing that’s every happened to me.”
“That’s great, Buck. What advice to you need?”
“I need to know how to tell her. How do I tell her that I love her? Do I get flowers? Tell her while dancing? Take her out to a fancy dinner—“
“Just tell her, Buck. No frills. If she loves you back, she just wants to know you love her. That’s all she cares about.”
“You think?”
You sighed. “I know."
“Every so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in”
Your dreams were the only place that the wishes of your heart came true. Bucky chose you. Bucky loved you. You were truly his best girl.
But then you would wake and remember the truth. Bucky loved Dot and Dot loved him. You were just someone in his life, for now.
It was the early morning and you had just woken up from one of your dreams when a knock sounded at your apartment door. When great caution, you went over and opened it. You were surprised to find Bucky standing on the other side. But even more surprised to find him in military uniform.
“Bucky?” You questioned. “What’s going on? What are you wearing?”
“I know that I should have told you sooner, doll,” Bucky’s voice was laced with guilt. “But I didn’t know how… I’m shipping out to England.”
“What? When?”
“Now.”
There was no point in stopping the tears.
“Hey, hey, please don’t cry,” he pled as he stepped closer, his hands coming up to hold your face. “You know I can’t stand to see my best girl cry.”
“You should’ve told me sooner,” you cried. “I deserved to know.”
“I know, I know… I just… I couldn’t stand the thought of saying goodbye to you.”
“Then don’t.”
He gave you a sad smile. “Can’t do that, doll. But… you can come see me off. I would really love it if my best girl was there.”
“Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who’s winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That’s the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I’m not that girl”
Dot was sobbing as Bucky held her close. You and Steve stood to the side, watching the scene as military personal hurried around the shipyard. Other goodbyes were happening around you, almost allowing the scent of tears to fill the area. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Steve whispered. He was the only one who knew of your feelings. He had figured them out just by watching you.
“It’s fine,” you mumbled, keeping your eyes on the couple. “I always knew that I wasn’t Bucky’s type.”
“Y/N—“
“Don’t try to make me feel better, Steve. I really don’t want it.”
Your heart clenched as Bucky brushed Dot’s golden hair from her face and gave her a kiss. A stray tear slipped down your face and you quickly wiped it away.
“I can’t do this,” you whispered, turning around.
“Y/N!” Steve tried to keep you there, but you weaved through the crowd before he could.
“Don’t wish, don’t start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn’t born for the rose and the pearl
There’s a girl I know
He loves her so”
You hoped that Bucky would write to you, but he never did. You heard that Dot was receiving letters and small gifts. Pressed flowers, poems, drawings, and a small pearl. Every time you got an update from Steve about Bucky it was due to his letters to Dot. It only hurt you further.
One day, Dot showed up at your apartment. You were curious and allowed her to come in.
“Bucky asked me to keep this a secret,” Dot explained as she seated herself on the couch. “But I know he didn’t keep any secrets from you and I just had to tell someone!”
“About what?” You questioned.
“Bucky sent a pearl in his latest letter. With the pearl, he asked me to marry him.” And you thought your life couldn’t get any worse. “Of course, I responded with a yes. We’re going to get married as soon as he returns.”
You pressed out a fake smile. “Congrats, Dot.” Your voice wobbled. “I’m happy for the two of you.”
“I knew you would be. I feel so much better now that someone knows.”
Dot didn’t stay much longer. It was a good thing, because you weren’t in a good place. As soon as she was gone, you had collapsed into a puddle of tears. Your dream was over. Bucky chose Dot over you. He loved her and not you.
“I’m not that girl”
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voparwave69 · 2 days ago
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good news everyone‼️ gamzee is pregnant AGAIN ‼️‼️‼️🫃🏿
While I'm here I might as well explain a little history of the Moldkara family...
Gamzee and I met at Spencers, where he was working at the time, and he helped me pick out beautiful penis jewelry and my badass Grim Reefer poster. Things moved along pretty quick until he one day proposed, popping out from a pile of weeds with a beautiful pot leaf ring. He kept working at Spencer's for the time being, bringing me home lots of free merchandise every single day.
We soon after met @livefromthegallows , who was our roommate when we were still living in the trailer we moved into after a tornado had ravaged a trailer park and left us with many tantalizing and free options. we dressed him up like a child to take to the movies to get discounts, and one day as we bought our good pal Spongebaby a very large lollipop and a propeller hat so that we could see Soul Plane at a cheap price, I saw Gamzee with a sneaky twinkle in his eye.
This of course caught my attention, and he let me know that all of this roleplaying as parents made him want to have children of our own!!!
Soon after, Gamzee was quickly pregnant, as his insect genes make him extremely fertile and his elastic clown hips make him very successful at giving birth, and additionally he has a second uterus in his chest. He had a very short pregnancy of only a couple of months as since it was his first pregnancy his womb had not yet learned how to not be poisonous, and our first born child @poutyrootveggie was born extremely small and shriveled. Dutiful Spongebaby of course was there to help and served as the midwife, but the mass amounts of purple slime might have been too much for him to handle, and we did not want to burden him any further. We ended up leaving our crumpled up trailer to him as well as several priceless vintage bongs as thanks, and we left to find a new home.
We came across a long road that seemed to go on forever and it was full of potholes. We drove down it for hours until we came across a beautiful wild swamp, and we immediately began building a new home out of saliva, sand, mud, twigs and cypress wood. I kept Salami in my pouch as we built and they even helped create the house's frame that is made partially out of weed, and soon our beautiful home was finished, but sadely the house and yard were filled with garbage instantly, though we do have a no lawn mowing rule that has helped the swamp plants all grow big and tall.
As Salami was just learning to crawl on the ceiling, Gamzee was soon pregnant again, this time with @kankri-and-the-altertits . Looking back, I do not think we ever named our second born, and so today I am designating him with the name Pizza, as today he helped me to make a medicinal bee larvae pizza for his post partum father.
Pizza has always been responsible and helped to enforce the Moldkara rules onto anyone that comes across our home, much like Salami has always helped raise and teach their siblings even if begrudgingly.
Pizza wanted a younger sibling, and since Gamzees poor uterus was deflating like a balloon at the time, I decided to become pregnant to give him a break. After all, I do have a very useful pouch. I had a normal pregnancy and gave birth to @soupygremlin in a lovely nest Gamzee assembled for me in our backyard, and this child I have named Grass, to remind me of the beautiful view of grass I had during my labor. Grass has never cared much for my pouch, unlike Salami who loved it, so I instead carried Grass by the scruff in my motherly mouth everywhere I went until they could walk. Grass has always been quite independent and likes to blow on dandelions and eat acorns.
A month or two later, Gamzee was pregnant yet again with our fourth child, @gamzees-bignaturals , this time in his chest. We didn't know he was pregnant until his breasts started growing to astronomical proportions, and sure enough, the test confirmed it all. He stayed pregnant for quite a while and was even worryingly two weeks overdue, but finally his water broke and he slipped and fell into it and passed out, which was a good thing since chest babies have to erupt from the skin like those fuckers in Alien, so he was asleep for the whole thing. As soon as I found him I took him to the marsh where the birthing grounds are, which we built as a new designated birth spot because his wretched purple fluids were burning holes into the house (yes, it is VERY acidic). We named this baby Nest, as it was born into a little nest I had assembled underneath Gamzee. I fear that there may be something horribly wrong with this child, and that staying in Gamzees chest womb for too long might have driven it insane.
But ultimately, this can be useful, and we can raise it to be a true enforcer of Moldkara law, a berserker that will annihilate all intruders to our swamp that refuse to assimilate.
And now, one day later, Gamzee is pregnant yet again with our fifth child, @gamzeestoefungez . I have great hopes for this child, and that they may become a true Prince of Clowns. Should we have more children, which will be very likely, I will carry the next one, as I fear Gamzee may die from his repeated pregnancies and lactation.
Yes we CAN also lay eggs but we prefer not to, because our clown instincts WILL drive us to juggle them and likely shatter them.
We currently have a new neighbor that has somehow found our swamp road, known as Horny Road (though I am hereby naming it to Miracle Road because we are a family household now), but I encourage them to reach out to me. It is dire that you assimilate, neighbor. The HOA that you summoned have been destroyed. We need a midwife and I think you will be excellent for this role.
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darth-kote · 2 days ago
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Tysm for the tag <3
It's never easy for me to compile my thoughts into words, but I'll try for the sake of fandom! These are a mix of my own headcanons +f/canon
I guess the thing that originally fascinated me about the Jedi is this sort of hero status they are given - not only on Coruscant and through the politics of the galaxy, but the general population also tends to see the Jedi as more than human. I'm thinking back to the first time I watched The Phantom Menace, and how Viceroy Gunray reacted as Qui-Gon and Obi fought through their Lucrehulk ship. They command respect, though they exert their power - ideally - only when the greater good is at stake... I adore their ability to handle both internal and external conflict. I'm still reading Master and Apprentice, but it's nice to see a younger, less sure-of-himself Obi-Wan.
I also admire the empathy practiced by the Jedi; this is more personal, but I've been told many times that I am Too Empathetic, so I suppose I appreciate seeing that depicted as a strength rather than an inherent weakness.. + I love the compassion/fascination a lot of Jedi have with nature/animals/bugs (':
And this is maybe not specific to Jedi - but I like to imagine the Force as a sort of omniscient invisible friend that shows different versions of Itself. I almost like to think of it as operating in two realms at once - almost like how I've heard psychics can communicate with spirits and pass along the message to those less sensitive than themselves. I like to think the Jedi get nudges or signs from the Force that lead them down certain paths. This could also be said for Sith, though I'm sure the line of communication gets distorted here. The coping mechanisms/meditations/general teachings they learn throughout their lives can influence their relationship with the Force/what the Force tells them/etc. This is a particularly difficult thought for me to articulate, and I feel like this paragraph hardly scratches the surface, but it's always fun for me to come back to.
As for attachments, I only think they are natural to form, and it's a Jedi's place to acknowledge when it becomes unhealthy - to end it and/or do some internal work.
Again, thank you for the tag! I will tag @ky-lth and @weepylucifer 🙂‍↕️
Tag Game for Jedi Enjoyers
Me scrolling my dash and finding like thirty well structured arguments detailing why the Jedi are good and complaining about people not getting it: …maybe I just need to follow more people but I think maybe we, the people who love the Jedi, have forgotten we’re allowed to actually be joyous about this thing we love, rather than just placing ourselves in constant opposition to people who do not love it. I love a well structured argument probably more than the next guy, but I’ve seen more than one person, myself included, feeling super discouraged and burnt out by it all.
Here’s the rules:
Say one thing—lore, character, headcanon, oc, book recommendations, fics, anything—you love about or involving the Jedi. Explain it in as much or as little detail as you want.
No arguments, no “I hate when people—,” no telling me which Disney show sucks the most.
Tag two or more people you think will enjoy this activity.
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slipperylittleturtle · 2 days ago
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i have all four of the 4* spicy cards now
each one is fabulous, but what i find the most interesting? each secret times feels like it takes place at various stages of a relationship. it's incredibly difficult to compare them because they each offer something completely different.
i decided to analyze each memory, specifically focused on the stage of the relationship. without understanding this context, i think it becomes tricky to understand the subtext and communication between couples when listening to the memories.
spoilers from here on:
xavier -
this is such an early relationship/honeymoon phase memory! these two are exploring, figuring things out, stumbling. it's actually adorable.
it's clear that mc is hesitant and uncertain. she both rushes things and holds back. she's trying to communicate her needs but hasn't quite built up the confidence or language to do so yet.
xavier is hungry. to me, he's desperately trying to figure out what makes her feel good, while simultaneously overstimulated by everything.
this guy is also way up in his head, but i don't think he realizes it. the way he shifts things and takes the lead at times, i am almost certain he's channeling decades' worth of smut he's read and trying to figure out what happens next.
the two, together, have always been big on role-playing. they find every opportunity to embellish the current situation, and that stays true throughout this secret times. xavier's probably got a scrape, mc was worried sick while he was gone, and they will find any excuse to get their hands on each other the moment they can.
rafayel -
sylus -
while this memory is still early relationship, it's well past the clumsy, exploratory stage. these two are still riding the high of falling for each other, more confident but still clingy.
grand gestures, like mc showing up to surprise rafayel, is what makes the most sense at this point in the relationship. how else can they show each other they care? they haven't quite progressed to the true partnership stage of their relationship yet.
these two are handsy, needy, desperate to connect with each other. there's a clear confidence in how their bodies work together, a history of exploring and understanding each others needs and wants.
lust probably outpaces love here. they're building a foundation of trust and love, but lust still has its temptation and sparkle. everything at this stage is about feeling good, satisfying desires, being together.
it isn't shallow, by any means, but their relationship also hasn't built depth and complexity yet. this is the going steady, boyfriend/girlfriend, not quite ready to think about forever but can't imagine not being together, fun part.
sylus and mc are such an established partnership of individuals. they clearly aren't a family unit yet, but there's a trust and a flow here that makes it clear it isn't new.
their coupling is sensual, needy, but lacking the uncertainty and clumsiness of a new relationship. they almost play at uncertainty, clearly communicating under the surface but playing pretend with their words.
they seem to be egging each other on, almost. both are fiercely independent, both are fully capable and trust the other to handle themselves when they are apart. but their exchange feels like a way to share their vulnerabilities and fears with a mask of teasing to make it less raw.
this is partnership. clear communication, reassurance, trust. plus, they clearly know each others bodies. the mess of intimacy is simply part of it, something to laugh at together.
it's such an important part of a growing and lasting relationship, finding your confidence as individuals, together. these two have it locked in.
zayne -
this one is full marital bliss. this is a couple years in, they are busy in their lives, but still completely in love. this is two people taking time for each other when they can't make time for each other.
this one feels so real to me, because it can be so difficult to make space for intimacy in a relationship when the stress of life gets in the way. starting with a massage is a perfect way to transition, mentally and physically, from the fast pace of the world to the bubble of your relationship.
this memory is two people who are making small sacrifices to prioritize their connection and each other's needs. to me, it's the most intimate of them all. they communicate, they play and tease, but all of it comes with a strong foundation of trust. these two know each other so deeply.
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thunder-opossum · 2 days ago
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Hey so I kinda went on a rant abt religion (how I was taught it in not good ways/religious trama) so um be warned.
I've never fainted b4. I've been knocked out for surgery and stuff
But like years ago I was forced to go to church for my youngest sisters first communion. My plan to avoid it was to sleep in, which didn't work and just meant i didn't have time to eat anything for breakfast.
So when I was in the church, the hellish combo of terrible period cramps, low blood sugar, anxiety, and kneeling made me start to feel faint. Like my vision actually started swirling and darkening. I would have passed out seconds later if my dad didn't realize I was breathing real funky (i was too shy to say that i literally couldn't brethe). He made me stop kneeling and took me outside, driving me home and then went back to church. Anyways love religious trama.
Going to church (we didn't go often) and like weekend religion classes was not good for me. So much anxiety and stress and I couldn't sit still. I would be nearly breaking down. It was just such a terrible environment for me. We literally did tests and you bet your ass i guessed all the answers bc I never payed attention or did the homework like wtf. What elementary schooler/middle schooler wants to do that.
We got to do fun crafts sometimes, religious themed ofc but I just did whatever I want, purposefully excluding religion. It was so old school that there were green chalboa4ds and old tvs that were rolled in to play vhs.
I hated it so bad. Being forced to pay attention under such scrutiny. Foreced to interact with people. Forced to learn something I didn't want to.
I remember crying a few times from being overwhelmed both at church and in the classes. It sucked and I know people had it worse but it just clashed with my mindset and behavior. It messed with my hime life. I hatted all of it, not to mention having to wear dresses. Did I forget i
To mention i have terrible sensory issues that were another big part of why it was terrible??? Loud noise, crowded space, literally the feeling of my own skin. Guhh i wanna cry.
You can teach your kids religion! But for the love of everything don't make them sit through things kids can't handle. Read them stories, put on educational shows (i was a veggie tales kid) put them in fun groups focused on activities rather than sitting and listening.
Woah 3 rants in a day. ..
To be clear, I am not hating on the Christian religion. I'm expressing my feelings about how it was presented to me. I don't blame my parents, I kinda do, but not fully, they were just trying to get us involved in religion, yes, there were many fun and interesting programs that involved themes of religion that I mostly enjoyed and still think of fondly, but those were so much different from the ones I'm talking about here.
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alongtidesoflight · 2 months ago
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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lunaticalove2 · 15 hours ago
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Okay! I actually wrote the first one! I am waiting for ao3 to send me an invitation, and I'm going to caopy the story there. For now, I'm publishing it here (Story under the cut). Enjoy!
Blitzø's POV
After reuniting with Octavia, Stolas stopped being Stolas. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't speak, wouldn't get up, and I often found him gasping for air in the middle of a panic attack. I feel really bad for him, and I'm doing the best I can to help him through this tough time. He didn't even have the strenght to come to work, so now I leave him to sleep on the couch while I'm in the office or on a mission, and when I come back I make something to eat for the three of us. My biggest fear is him doing stupid things to himself while at work. I try to call him when I'm not there with him just to know he's okay. He doesn't speak much, tho. I told him he just has to pick up the phone and if he doesn't feel like saying something he can just make noises like hoots or something like that. This morning was really tough for him. Stolas tried to call Via again, cause he never gave up with that, and he finally got a response. But it wasn't what he was hoping for. The scene was something like this:
*flashback*
Blitzø:"you sure you wanna call her again? You can try tomorrow"
Stolas just nods, and Blitzø sighs softly, he can't say no to him. The phone rings and someone picks up
Stolas:"Via?!"
Octavia:"Stop calling to this number! If I ever want to talk to you again, I'll be the one to call. So stop looking for me. Bye"
And she hangs up. Stolas looks at the phone, too stunned to speak or even move. Blitzø notices and immediately runs by him.
Blitzø:"Hey, breathe. She's just going through a tough time. Just like you"
Stolas stays silent. Everything starts spinning and his vision is blurring with tears. His breath caught in his throath. Blitzø embraces him and Stolas returns the hug, and soon enough he's hyperventilating and crying in the other's shoulder
*end of flashback*
So now I'm esitant to go to work, I'm scared he's going to do something stupid. And these days he's also refusing to take his anti-depressant. I'm so worried, but I also can't leave everything to Loona and M&M. Today we have many clients, and they can't handle it alone. I decide to approach him. "hey Stols" he looks at me "I have to go to work. Are you gonna be fine on your own for a few hours?" he waits a moment and then nods "alright, I trust you. But if something, ANYTHING, happens, don't hesitate to call me" I kiss him on the forehead "see you later, big bird". And I leave the house.
Stolas's POV
I feel so useless. Blitzø just left for work and I didn't even say anything. And this morning Octavia, my sweet Via, rejected me. When I called her she literally said she didn't want to see me nor talk to me. My mind is full of thoughts, I can't think straight. Withouth noticing, I get up and suddenly I'm in the bathroom. I open the drawer and I take a blade. I deserve it, I tell myself. I starts cutting... 1, 2, 3 cuts. It feels good, and I can't stop. At one point, I don't even know how much time passed, I cut too deep and start panicking, only now realizing what I had done. I immediately get up and put my arms under the water. A few cuts stop bleeding too much after a while, but a few of them are still losing too much blood. I feel myslef on the verge of passing out, I'm so lightheaded. I need to call Blitzø. Even if I'm ashamed to do so. I grab my phone and dial his number. I wait for him to pick up doing my best to stay concious. He picks up almost immediately: "Stols? Are you ok? Something happened" I only manage to croack out a few words with the tears that were now running down my cheeks "B-Blitzø. I'm sorry" he sounds worried as he responds "I'm coming now" and he hangs up. I just need to atay concious.
Blitzø's POV
I just received the call from Stolas. I'm driving as fast as I can, maybe I even killed some people that were crossing the road, but I just need to be there for him. I arrive and burst into the door. "STOLAS!!" I yell from the kitchen. But then I hear some crying from the bathroom and I immediately run in there. I can't believe what i'm looking at right now. Stolas, my Stolas, crying in the bathroom with a blade next to him, and his arms are full of blood. I rush to his side and kick the blade out of his reach. I hug him tight, not caring if my clothes are getting wet with his blood. "I-I-I'm so sorry. I-" I shush him and tell him that it's okay as I let go and look at his arms. This is worse that I thought. Some of the cuts are very deep. I notice that he is breathing heavily, and maybe struggling to stay concious. "Stols, looks at me. Try to focus on me and don't pass out". He nods. I help him off the floor and to the sink, where I remove most of the blood. While doing this, I say "Why would you do that? It's dangerous" he is still crying, probably can't bring himself to stop, and I don't blame him for that "I-I don't know. I-I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm so sorry" I look at him and say "It's okay. Don't apologize. You're going through a tough time". When I finish washing away most of the blood, I take him on the bed, disinfect and bandage his cuts. When I'm done, I give him a cup of water, since he's still shaken and he lost much blood. "Wanna talk about it?" I ask. He shakes his head no. "Can you just... Hold me? For a bit. I'm still kinda dizzy" he says. My expressions softens and i immediately embrace him and rub his back comfortingly. After a moment, I decide to speak again: "When you feel like hurting yourself again, call me right away. I'll help you" he just nods and falls asleep 2 minutes later. I sigh as I continue holding him. It makes me really sad thinking that Stolas, the once always smiling and silly prince, just thought that he deserved to self harm. I once though he was annoying, I though he was just a horny bird that was using me as his toy. But I got to know him, and the most important of all, I learned to love him. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure he's safe and happy
Fic Ideas I don't feel like writing, and if someone does, tag me.
Some are a bit angsty (especially this first one. Sorry, i have a dark mind. In fact, that's my favourite)
1- Stolas, after seeing Via like we've seen in sinsmas, is in a really bad mental place, worse than before. So he just stops eating, doesn't talk much, has panic attacks often, and self harms. Blitzø knows of his relationship with food and panic attacks, but doesn't know about his self harm. One day, Stolas locks himself in the bathroom and does THAT. He accidently does a cut too deep and he starts loosing too much blood and feels himslef passing out. The only thing he brings himself to do is call out Blitzø's name. And things escalate from there, with Blitzø cleaning his cuts and helping him calm down and cope with it
2- (this one is a bit comic) after the little dance they had on sinsmas, Loona, Millie and Moxxie, since they saw and registered everything, are rubbing it in their faces and jokingly making fun of them about it
3-Just Stolitz cuddling and joking on the sofa, playing with each other
If I have any other, I'll write them down
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silverwhittlingknife · 7 months ago
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can we have a hint about what the spring break tim patrol chapter of red letter day contains? (you kept having dick say "if the joker shows up" and tim's "he won't." for me to be convinced that goes off without any trouble)
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i'm sure it'll be fine. :D
i am delighted you're enjoying the story <333 i haven't updated it in soooo long but i got some very sweet comments lately so i have been looking at my scribbles again <3
#tim: he WON'T show up okay?? and if he did i'd be FINE. dick thinks i'm gonna fall on my face if i do anything on my own ever#dick: that is not true!! that is NOT what i said stop putting words in my mouth#tim: i literally watched this entire city by myself for FOUR YEARS and don't say bruce was here because lots of the time he wasn't#dick: listen i am JUST SAYING that last year you almost DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH a lot#dick: and i personally rescued you from near-death experiences & you were not exactly helpful or forthcoming#dick: so sue me if i'd just like to clarify that i will at least get a PHONE CALL if something goes wrong#dick: as opposed to OH I DON'T KNOW you go off to fight jason or ra's al-ghul behind my back and then you almost DIE#dick: and i have to go chasing after you AFTER THE FACT because you didn't bother to explain to me the stupid thing that you were gonna do#tim: that was NOT stupid and -- i KNEW you were still mad at me about that --#dick (unconvincingly): i'm not mad at you (more convinced) YOU'RE still mad at ME --#tim (unconvincingly): no i'm not. (more convinced) look i get it you obviously think that i suck which fine WHATEVER --#dick: i never said that and i'm just asking for the basic professional courtesy of a heads-up!! the city's my responsibility so -#tim: i know you're on a power trip about this but gotham is actually MY city too so --#dick: excuse me i am NOT on a power trip. i'm BATMAN which means that --#tim: you sure are#dick: oh don't even go there - let me point out that ONE of us is being an uncommunicative jerk and it ISN'T ME --#tim: you are literally trying to micromanage how i do a milk run that i could do backwards with my eyes blindfolded --#dick: i'm not micromanaging!! nightclubs can be -- i have a NORMAL degree of CONCERN okay so --#tim: -- so either you're lying to me or you think i suck; how exactly am i supposed to tell you stuff if you don't trust me -#dick: what?! i trust you!!! i just --#tim: you just DON'T trust me??#dick (trapped): i trust you. i'm just saying. if for example the joker -#tim (defensive): who i could handle#dick: or jason -#tim: who i could also handle!!! try to be a little less condescending maybe#dick: oh come ON. look you're obviously kinda testy about me going out of town which fine whatever but i'm just trying to -#tim (testily): i'm not testy. what does that even mean 'testy'
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starflungwaddledee · 1 year ago
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it's awfully refreshing to see a rise in malevolent galas again, and i'm preeet-ty sure your popularity's playing into it. grrrrrrr yes! let that boy kill! let him scheme and conspire! let him wreak havoc like the true planet-destroying fiend he is!
waaahaaa i'm so delighted to hear it! i will be completely honest, i was extremely nervous to post that very first comic with him in (where he was undeniably malicious) because almost every other headcanon i'd seen of him at that point is that he is Just Misunderstood and Actually A Good Guy or, at the very least, perhaps currently acting out but still Redeemable With A Heart Of Gold
and those are amazing too! not a single piece of shade on those characterisations; they are genuinely cathartic tropes and i love to see them- for him or anyone else. but it made me quite scared to have to just be like... 'anyway he is extraordinarily and wilfully cruel in my headcanons and stories!!'
so it really means a lot to me that you enjoy this characterisation!! and that you think possibly it's having an impact on other folks' characterisations in a positive or refreshing way! that's such an honour! i was scared people would loathe my storytelling or characterisation of their favourite blorbo (i still fear it, ngl) or even think that i like... don't like him. but the thing is that i love him. i love him to bits and pieces and because of how much i love him i've done him the ultimate honour of assigning him Irredeemable All-powerful Villain and allowed him free reign to bite and kill
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willowfey · 1 year ago
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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal
#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept#i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them#if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens#i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it#i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut#it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair#my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking#if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back#if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off#ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal#but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends#i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens#and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too#since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out#i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now#now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that#i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill#in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it#my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes#sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested#i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore#i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world
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