#i am stepping outside of my comfort zone and making a poll

[allylikethecat]

Okay y’all which fic would you like to see updated next (other than the Christmas Fic I need to emotionally recover from that chapter before plowing ahead myself lol) OR do you want a NEW fic (I have the Equestrian AU first chapter finished, and I can *probably* finish the Vampire 75 AU first chapter by Tuesday if I tried really hard) I’m not going to guarantee that is the fic I’m going to update, but as I stare at my collection of Google docs I am open to input (please give me input I’m a people pleaser) 😊 Thank you!! (If no one answers I will be quietly deleting this post and we will pretend it never happened)

[the-golden-comet]

So I saw the results of the character poll and I would like to voice my support of Noah as the all time GOAT of the Goldencomet-verse

Ik Peter won, and don't get me wrong, I love Peter, but maybe he's a bit too much of an asshole. Like, he doesn't catch enough retribution for his actions and Benji is kinda forced to deal with it and it's played off as a joke. Sure, Benji flings enough insults to make a French man laugh, but none of them are really taken seriously by anyone (especially that dress scene. That was wrong and no one ever apologized in the slightest, even Peter). I need some retribution and I need some W's for me to ride or die for a ship.

That all being said, that's one of the reasons why I LOVE Noah (and Ali). Noah, while being super introverted (from what I've seen), he's still not taking shit from anyone. AND ALI RESPECTS IT 👏👏. I like myself a relationship built off of genuine pure-bred respect. That's why I love enemies to lovers or rivals to lovers (even though idk if YWIMC counts as either. Could be wrong tho). Most of the time in those two tropes, the romance stems from genuine (although begrudging) RESPECT. And respect and pity are two different things. 'Aw poor *insert character here*' also isn't a good relationship foundation. If the relationship isn't built off of long-standing respect of the 'I see you as my equal' caliber, I don't want it.

I would also like to voice my love for Noah in a separate paragraph, cause I kinda just yapped about the relationship lol. Noah, as I mentioned, doesn't take shit from NOBODY. 'Introverted' sure as hell doesn't mean pushover when it comes to Noah. And, for every ounce of not taking shit, there's an equal amount of softness towards those he loves. You need an equal balance for a delicious romance and he does it perfectly 🤌🤌. I also like that, while he isn't the strongest physically, he's still not a pathetic mop of a character. He earns his wins through his own means and HE DESERVES IT. Even when he has help, he's not the ever constant damsel in distress waiting for his big strong boyfriend to save him. He does something, he tries his best, and I respect him for it.

And i would like to end this with saying I love Peter Hart, even though ik it sounded like I was hating lol. It was a really fun read and funny a lot of times. Ig getting away with assholery just strikes a sore spot 😂

One last side note: I will definitely be reading YWIMC when it comes out if you can't tell (and also sorry for the rant)

I am absolutely in love with this post!! Thank you so much for making it!! Don’t ever feel bad for voicing an opinion of my characters! In fact, I am so happy to see Noah get some genuine love!! This post gave me the goofiest smile and I appreciate you making it 💛✨

Noah has a soft spot in my own heart because of his jaded “front,” but he’s not afraid to let his vulnerability show….ESPECIALLY around Ali. Noah has trouble expressing his emotions due to his ASD, so seeing him make genuine wins and setting firm boundaries with people make us go, “YES! Don’t take shit from anyone! 👏 👏 👏”

One of the main themes of YWIMC is stepping outside of comfort zones and letting rigid barriers fall (in Noah’s case) whereas the lesson that Ali learns is that you can love someone regardless of your upbringing, and to eventually get over fears of attachment.

Seeing so much love for Noah is genuinely heartwarming, and I thank you so much for making this ask! 💫

(And Peter is such an asshole lmao. Entertaining, but an asshole nonetheless. This is a totally valid criticism of his character 😂✨)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #270

“please remain calm; the end has arrived. we cannot save you; enjoy the ride.”

Do you own pastel-colored pants? No. What type of lotion do you use? I don't really use it. Nothing seems to help how dry my skin is. What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Hot Topic. If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Pastel pink, but realistically (given a pink car would probably have a paint job I'd have to pay for, I assume?), I like burnt orange cars. Not too brown-ish, though. What is your favorite color, do you look good in it, & do you wear it a lot? Pink, probably not, and no. Name someone you know who hates pink. Idk. What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? "Nobody's Home." Do you kill bugs? Sometimes. Depends. If they're in my house, most likely. Have you ever had a bedroom that had wallpaper on the walls? No. Do you own any rompers? No. What’s one thing you’ve done to celebrate Earth Day? I made a birdhouse out of a milk carton once. Animal Planet taught me lol. Do you use window clings (aka window stickers)? No. What color is your stapler? Black. Do you have a desk that you sit at in your room? Ugh, no, but that's one reason I want to move to somewhere I have a bigger room for a desk so I don't do everything in my damn bed. What do you miss about college? Feeling like I was worth something and on a "proper" path. Was your middle school crush the same as your high school crush? No. What is/was your dream school? I never had a "dream" school. Do you wish you could talk to someone about your past? If so, who? Idk, probably someone. What motivates you? Music and/or videos on whatever subject I could use motivation in, like self-care on my bad days. Have you ever completed a weight loss program? No. Tried, though. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I went through a doctor appointment entirely without Mom just a few days ago; she had to stay in the car due to chemo, so I filled stuff out, checked in/out alone, answered questions on my own, that business. I'm entirely aware it's sad as hell that a 24 y/o did that for the first time, but if you knew just how dependent I am on my mom, you'd get it. Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter? Valentine's when I actually have someone to celebrate with, but I love Easter as an aunt with how excited the kids are about candy and all. Easter sorta rubs me the wrong way though since, y'know, Christianity essentially stole and rebuilt it. Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? I myself don't even decorate. Mom only does for Christmas, and it's very last minute. What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? I don't drink Starbucks. What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? *checks phone* uh the one where I'm wearing a red tank top is okay. That's all you can see cuz FUCK taking full-body pics of me. What’s on your wish list right now? Ha, I actually have a list in my phone of things I really want/need to buy when I can. A few include a bigger terrarium to Venus, a treadmill, an Unus Annus shirt before the channel and thus merch expire, glasses for driving... What do you use to sweeten your tea? I don't drink tea. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, I don't wear enough colors or makeup in general to warrant buying one. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? The aforementioned doctor visit. How would you rate your self-esteem? Low, healthy, or high? Low as like, the deepest oceanic trench probs. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yeah. Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Hilary. Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? Only ever to just be a goth to live out my inner fantasy of regularly flaunting that aesthetic. Do you enjoy putting outfits together? Not particularly. Would you rather it rain or snow? Snow! What does your umbrella look like? Don't have one. What’s one thing you’ve had a toxic reaction to? Do you mean like, emotionally/mentally toxic? I'm guessing probably yes. Even though parts of it were entirely realistic, understandable reactions/behaviors, I most definitely had some toxicity in me regarding the breakup, too. Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? Uggghhhh, both are so cute. On me, I'd only ever wear tunic tops, but on others, I tend to find cropped tops cuter. What’s a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I don't pay enough attention to this to really know... hm. Yeah, idk. Which YouTuber do you want to be more like? I could only dream of being as motivated and smart and determined and "I can do this shit" as Markiplier jfc I Love One Man Only. Do you like stuffed animals? EEEEEEEEK yes!!!! What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Have you ever gotten straight A’s in a class? If so, which classes? Yes; not to brag whatsoever, but too many for me to remember. I remember I got my very first B in 5th grade in I think math, and I was so bummed out. Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? I don't think so. Are you happy today? If so, what made you happy today? I'm content-ish, not happy, but also not unhappy. Is your bed right by a window? There's one to my upper right and middle left, but my bed's not exactly against either. Do you spend more time in your bedroom or your living room? I barely leave my bedroom. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Halloween, if I actually did decorate. Do you name stuffed animals still? Very rarely. Depends on what it is, the importance, etc. What titles did you win in the senior class polls? I FUCKIN READ THIS AS "TITTIES" AND WAS JUST LIKE... Anyway, none. Were you popular in school? No. If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in? Only NC. Who was your best roommate? Well, Jason, if he even counted as a "roommate." Was your first roommate your best roommate? See above, considering idk if he fits the term; if he does, then yes. What’s the best family vacation you’ve ever been on? Disney World. Have you ever wanted to be a model? No. What years did you attend prom? Sophomore (bf was a senior and he took me) and senior. What do you want to be for Halloween? I was recently listening to a metal version of Oogie Boogie's song from TNBC and it hit me: MISS Oogie Boogie. A fat bitch could pull that shit off, watch me ho. Which member of your family are you closest to? My mom. If you have any regrets, what is the biggest one? If not, why do you have no regrets? Letting a boy become absolutely all that mattered and more to me. Would you ever apply to be on reality TV? Why? Ew, no. I don't need any more people judging me and my life. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? The partial hospitalization program that saved my life, literally. Do you have a hard time letting things go? It depends on what it is, but generally, yes. I recently realized one of my greatest flaws: I respond very, very poorly to loss, in any way. Looking back on people (especially people), events, other things... a negative, chronic reaction to loss is present throughout. What have you accomplished in life that has made you the most happy? Emotionally healed, a lot. I don't think some things will ever fully scar over, but nevertheless, I don't mentally have fuckin gashes in me. Have you ever struggled with your weight? Ever since the breakup, yes. I thought I was slightly fat before then, but looking at pictures now, I just think "damn hunny u look gud" and realize I was perfectly healthy. But anyway, I was put on a medication called Abilify (full-on name droppin', fuck this med), and it MURDERED my metabolism. I could eat a fuckin carrot and gain five pounds, probably. Emotional eating probably contributed too, but here's the thing: my current doctor took me off of it, knowing the moment I mentioned it that it was not only bad for me and my conditions but also responsible for the extreme weight gain? Pounds dropped like a ton of bricks, and this started before my emotional eating began to die off and regulate. I lost around 80 pounds just from dropping a goddamn pill. Cue college essay-long rant here about how my body image was slaughtered, how much I loathe the fucking doc that kept me on the med and blamed everything on me, and now how I've been stuck weight-wise for two years despite a vast plethora of methods to continue shedding a;sdlkfajkwlelawe GUYS I could rant til my hypothetical great-grandchildren die. When you are out with your friends are you loud and outgoing or shy and reserved? It depends on who the friend is, where we are, etc., but generally, I'm just awkward, trying to be outgoing when in fact I'm questioning every single thing I say and do al;wekjrkawde this survey has taken a TURN. Do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? I don't leave my pj's unless I have to leave the house and go inside somewhere besides like, a gas station or something that's just "whatever." In high school did you have a lot of friends? Do you still keep in touch? I wouldn't say a *lot*, no, but not a tiny amount, either. The only one I ever still see is Girt, but I keep up with many on Facebook via the like button and shit, ha. Do you really care about such issues as abortion, religion, and global warming? Fuck yes I do. Who is the biggest womanizer you know? Juan sure was, but I haven't been in contact with him for years. Would you ever have a threesome? No. Who is the most attractive person you know? Of those I personally know-know, my answer will probably always be Alon like jc she's beautiful. When did you last feel the most free? ZOINKS we can't ask that question in America rn. Is there anyone who likes (or liked) you and had a really hard time getting over you? I don't know. Did you ever love someone and feel like it was wrong? Love? No. Well, before I realized I was bi, maybe Mini counts, as then I was anti-LGBT and couldn't even imagine myself as anything but straight. What’s your favorite bug? Butterflies. What’s the longest amount of time you liked/loved somebody for? Yeesh... I still can't say with absolute confidence I no longer love Jason at all, whom I started dating in 2012 and went head over heels for. What song makes you cry? There's a few that are capable of it sometimes, but do fucking not play "Stairway To Heaven" if I'm within 10 miles of you. "Another Life" by MiW usually makes me tear up towards the end, but it normally doesn't get that far anymore. Do you like rock or rap music better? Rock, as I'm not a rap fan. If you could watch someone change, would you? Yes let me live my life a;lsdkfjaws Ever known someone with an eating disorder? I don't know. I think maybe? Have you ever had a white Christmas? I think? The best snow we ever got was late Christmas night though, and the next morning was a total whiteout. What’s something you want to do but aren’t sure of yet? Hm. Idk. I'm pretty sure of most things I want to do. Biggest lie you ever told? I'm not entirely sure and I'd rather not search for one. Do you have a religion? I don't fit perfectly into any. I relate most with Neo-Paganism, but even that I deviate from some. Believe that there is a point to churches? I mean sure, people have the right to believe in/worship what they want to, and some people get a lot of joy and reassurance out of going. How do eat Oreos? "I split them in half and lick the cream before eating the cookie." <<<< Converse or Vans? Idc. Eh, maybe Converse, but idk. Dancing or watching others dance? I love watching others dance, it's why I enjoyed dance recitals and competitions. Favorite thing to touch/feel? My cat! <3 Rather be in a tornado or a large earthquake? Both would be horrifying, but I guess earthquake. I've had an outrageous fear of tornadoes since I was very little. Would you rather Santa or the Easter Bunny actually exist? Santa, duh. Would you rather spread gossip or start a fight? Start a fight, I guess. Trying to sully someone's name with false information would haunt me way more than starting an understandable fight. What has been the best New Year's for you so far & why? I don't know. What is the weirdest fear you’ve ever heard of someone having? Do you have any weird fears, and if so, what are they? Uhhh I think maybe butterflies? Idk, even that's not too weird considering it's an insect, and that's common. I'm personally absolutely terrified of pregnancy and also whale sharks scare me quite a bit. ig that's weird. How did you find Tumblr? lol how could you not know at some point as a teen on the Internet. What of the 8 wonders of the world do you find the most fascinating, if any? I had to look them up lmao. I guess the Great Pyramid of Giza. I in general find Egyptian culture and art to be very cool. Do you have a webcam? If you do, do you ever use it and what for? I mean, it's built into the laptop. I never use it. What is something that you think is really underrated? The band Otep, for one. I mean they're not small, but I don't think most people interested in the metal genre know them. OH and then there are A LOT of YouTube artists that MADLY deserve to be signed. I have a large chunk of metal musicians I listen to, and those especially like Jonathan Young blow my fucking mind they haven't technically "made it," even if they have a large subscriber base. Have you ever had a dream where you died? Did anything weird happen to your body after it? Yes, a few. Now hang with me, okay? One of my worst nightmares as a kid involved the wicked witch from TWoO turning me into one of those fucking party things that you blow into it and the paper unfurls and her using it killed me. Yo idk. I was really scared of that witch as a kid. What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? How about the most realistic? It involved my dad and that's all that needs to be said. Realistic? Hm. This was SO long ago that I barely remember *just* how real it felt, but I remember it felt real as fuck. I was very little when this happened. I dreamed that I went outside to our porch because there was a weird light and when I stepped outside, a swan and a goose flew down from the light onto the porch to become my late grandpa and my deeply beloved cat Midnight, who died from sickness. I'm sure it was just a dream now, but back then, I was VERY convinced it was like a vision from God or something, telling me they were okay and with us. Do you have a favorite fashion trend? What is it? Is there a fashion trend right now that you think is completely ridiculous, and if so, what? What do you think was the worst fashion trend of all time? I don't care about fashion enough to go in depth about all this. I'll tell you right now though that mullets were the worst mistake known to mankind. Do you tend to like original horror movies or re-makes better? What’s your favorite horror movie? Is it an original or a remake? If you're remaking an old one, I'll probably like it more since they're generally not nearly as cheesy. Modern horror movies, I don't have much of a preference. My fave is The Blair Witch Project, and it's an original. What is one characteristic in a person that you cannot stand? What characteristics do you like best in a person? Do you possess any of these characteristics? Those that act violent when they're angry, for one. Those scare me. Some traits that I really like are compassion, patience, genuineness, empathy, kindness just for the sake of being so, stuff like that. I'd like to think I've got some of those. It's notable that in my nightmares, I'm way more violent than I actually am, though. What kind of jeans do you like best? When I actually wore jeans, they were like solely skinny jeans. What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? A very abrupt and poorly-executed breakup after a long-term relationship and falling way, way too hard to be healthy. Does it still bother me? PTSD is stapled on my fucking forehead if you know the slightest about it. I've healed a whole lot, but I'm pretty sure it's a scar that's never going to even fully seal.

[eldritchsurveys]

787.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? >> I bought something on credit for the first time last week. It wasn’t my credit, lmao (I have none), but still.

Which do you prefer: Valentine's Day or Easter? >> I’m not too interested in either. But both have the potential for fun plushies to buy, so there’s that.

Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? >> I don’t decorate for either of those holidays, if that’s what we’re still talking about.

What color bottoms are you wearing right now? >> Black.

Do you love life?! >> The punctuation choice gives this question an interesting flavour, lmao. I mean, I don’t necessarily love life or hate life. It’s kind of just... a default state, I don’t have any special feelings about it unless I’m depressed or something. It’s not like I know what the alternative is like, or have anything to compare life to.

What's your favorite Starbucks drink? >> I don’t drink anything from Starbucks if I can help it.

What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? >> ---

What's on your wish list right now? >> My wish list is pretty clear now, thankfully. I wouldn’t say no to a new computer chair, though. Or a new dresser, now that that’s the only thing in my room that doesn’t match.

What do you use to sweeten your tea? >> Honey, if anything.

Which dollar store do you like best? >> ---

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? >> Nope. Well, actually, Sparrow bought me one that I don’t know the price of, so maybe it was an expensive one.

What's one challenge you want to complete for youtube? >> ---

If you make youtube videos, do you have a posting schedule? >> I don’t make youtube videos.

When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? >> There’s been no way to do that lately -- my comfort zone is the solitude of my room, and we’re under physical distancing rules...

How would you rate your self-esteem? low, healthy, or high? >> My overall conception of myself is probably always going to be skewed, because I got them Issues(tm). But I am trying to be more compassionate and less persecutory towards myself.

Do you own a tripod for your camera? >> I don’t own a camera, period.

Would you rather go to London, Paris, or Tokyo? >> I don’t know. I guess any of them would be fine.

Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? >> ---

Which Olsen twin was your favorite: Mary-Kate or Ashley, and why? >> ---

Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? >> I’ve never made a Halloween costume.

Do you enjoy putting outfits together? >> That’s not something I really do, all my clothes are kind of just... variations on the same theme. There’s nothing to really “put together”.

Would you rather it rain or snow? >> Rain, please.

What does your umbrella look like? >> We have several umbrellas in this apartment, but the one I use most is a big black-and-red one.

What color are your nails painted? >> They’re not.

Are your nails always painted? >> Obviously not.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? >> I don’t know what a toxic reaction is.

Do you wear headbands? >> No.

Do you own a boho bandeau? >> No.

Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? >> Tunic tops, I guess, just by virtue of the fact that I would not wear a crop top.

What's a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? >> ---

Which youtuber do you want to be more like? >> I don’t want to be like a youtuber.

Do you wear jeggings or leggings more? >> No.

^Same questions, but jeggings or skinny jeans? >> I don’t really like any of these garments, okay.

Do you like stuffed animals? >> I sure do.

What was your favorite class in high school? >> ---

Have you ever gotten straight A's in a class? If so, which classes? >> ---

Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? >> ---

What's the best coffee shop in your town, in your opinion? >> I have no idea.

Are you happy today? If so, what made you happy today? >> I’m not sad or angry or anxious or irritable, but I’m also not particularly joyful, so... you know. Neutral is my baseline state.

When was the last time you woke up to a beautiful sunrise? >> I don’t remember, especially considering I can’t see the sunrise from my room.

Is your bed right by a window? >> Yeah, the foot of it is.

Do you spent more time in your bedroom or your living room? >> Bedroom. I really only spend time in the living room when I’m gaming or watching Sparrow game (or watching a video or movie or whatever with her).

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? >> I don’t really enjoy decorating for holidays, although I enjoy the decorations themselves. It’s just a tedious process to me.

Do you decorate for holidays? >> Nah, Sparrow does it. She seems to actually enjoy it.

What craft project do you want to do next? >> ---

Do you name stuffed animals still? >> Of course.

Do you still own your favorite Barbie? What was your favorite Barbie? >> ---

Favorite Bratz doll? >> ---

Favorite American Girl doll? >> ---

Favorite Disney princess? >> My favourite Disney princess is Moana.

Favorite cartoon character? >> ---

Are you rebellious? >> I’m a contrary sort by nature, so yeah, I guess so.

What's the most rebellious thing you've ever done? >> *shrug* Existed? Pfft.

What's your favorite thing about yourself? >> I don’t have a favourite thing about myself.

Have you ever celebrated Valentine's Day when you were single? >> I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day regardless. I just don’t mind using V-Day events as excuses to go out and do stuff, or taking advantage of the many plushies for sale.

What's your dream date? >> ---

If you were dating a guy right now, where would you want him to take you? >> ---

Is there a guy you regret letting slip away? >> No.

Are you a guy or a girl? >> No.

Are you more boho, girly, edgy, sporty, or hipster? >> ...

Which stereotype do you fit the most? >> *grinds teeth* Stereotypes are not something I would choose to identify with.

What titles did you win in the senior class polls? >> ---

Were you popular in school? >> No.

If you won a car, what color would you like it to be? >> I don’t want a car. I can’t even drive.

Do you wear hats? >> In the winter, yes.

Do you ever put your hair up in the winter? >> ---

Do you have bangs? If not, have you ever had bangs? >> No.

How many siblings do you have? >> ---

Do you have any family members that you've never met? >> Of course.

If you're from the US, what states have you lived in? >> NJ, NY, CO, MI, NC.

Who was your best roommate? >> Honestly, I’ve never had a good flatmate.

Was your first roommate your best roommate? >> ---

What's the best family vacation you've ever been on? >> ---

Do you have a Mac or a PC? >> PCs.

Do you use iMovie? >> No.

What's your dream job? >> ---

What types of youtube videos are your favorite to watch? >> Video game lore, film/pop culture analyses, stuff like Philosophy Tube.

Which do you watch more: TV, youtube, or movies? >> Probably TV, overall.

Do you prefer books or movies? >> I like both, dude.

Have you ever wanted to be a model? >> Nope.

Are you cold right now? >> Nope.

What do the last pair of pants you bought look like? >> I ordered two pairs of sweatpants from Old Navy. Very pleased with them.

What store(s) do you do most of your shopping at? >> Meijer.

What style of wedding dress is your favorite? >> ---

What years did you attend prom? >> I attended in 2004.

What color is the last sweater you wore? >> Black.

What do you want to be for Halloween? >> I don’t know, I’ve never been anything for Halloween and I’m not sure this year will be any different.

What is your name, and what are the different spelling variations of it? >> I don’t think there’s any other ways to spell “Mordred”, but I may be wrong.

Do you like your name how it's spelled? >> Yes.

Would you change your name if given the chance? >> I already did...

Did you ever want to be famous? >> Not in any serious capacity. I’ve daydreamed about being in rock bands when I was a teenager, but that wasn’t like... serious.

Would you ever want to be famous now? >> Fuck no.

Who are the cutest babies you see on facebook? >> ---

What would your name had been if you were born the opposite gender? >> This question assumes a lot of things, like the idea that one’s parent(s) or guardian(s) had pre-chosen a name for each sex, and that they’d made you aware of the other choice after you were born.

If you had a twin of the same gender, what would his/her name be? >> This assumes even more.

What is your first and middle name? >> Mordred Shadow.

What year were you born? >> 1987.

How old does that make you? >> 32, for a few more days.

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi Charity! I'm an ENFP who relates well to basically everything you post about yourself. I'm also fairly certain I'm an 6. I realized that lately I've been struggling a lot with anxiety (getting help, don't worry), but was wondering how that could affect Ne. I've always been the kind of person who seeks change to be better, but now my anxiety makes me feel like I'm in my Si - trapped in how things were in the past. I can't seem to get out of it. It feels like my dom and inf functions switched.

Hey, ENFP 6! I am really sorry you can relate to me, since that’s really no fun for you. It’s not easy being one, is it? But this is the lot life stuck us with, so we’d better learn how to make the most of it, right?

I can’t really tell you how it is for all Ne-dom 6′s (especially with different lower fixes), I can only give you my own experience – and that is that for me it causes conflict between the natural optimism and desire to believe the best in others of Ne-dom and the pessimistic, suspicious nature of being a 6. I approach things with a half-and-half mindset, which is often the opposite of whatever I am hearing from other people, due to Ne and 6 both being contrarian.

In other words, if someone is too excited, I will be the voice of reason. If they are miserable and depressed and expecting the worst, I will be the optimistic and cheerful one irritated by their perpetual fog. I expect good things from people but am also suspicious of their motives. This puts a bit of a damper on dating, since you want to trust your date to be a good person and also not take any chances that he’s not. Some probably super nice guys got frustrated with my non-committal answers to hanging out at their place and watching awesome movies on their giant screen. I’m sorry. Maybe I could have trusted you, and maybe I couldn’t. Better safe than dead.

But you probably already know that, since you live it. Your specific question is how do you get your Ne to work properly and how do you overcome your fear and just… go do things?

Well, the answer to that is simple and hard. Simple because it’s obvious, and hard because it’s hard for a 6 to overcome their anxieties and just do it. The simple answer is – you start recognizing and correcting yourself. Learning to laugh and say, “Oh, I am just being a 6 right now and probably over-thinking.” And choosing to open yourself up to the possibilities and think positively about them rather than freaking out. (I have personal experience with that at the moment, since my boss wants me to step outside my comfort zone. My first reaction was massive angst. My second reaction was anger, because I do not want to do this. The reaction I am having now is trying to use my Ne to think up all the good ways that this could really bolster my confidence and experience and make Good Things Happen in my life. So that’s what you have to do – stick with your feelings and thoughts about something long enough to have the ability to make a decision to approach it with optimism and positivity. Fear and excitement create largely the same reaction in the body; it’s our mind that decides what to call it. So start re-naming and controlling it. Make it excitement and not fear. See if that helps.)

6 loves to hide behind the mantra of “just being rational.” Rational, you may be, but overreacting or paranoid when there’s no need, you also may be. Not every new situation or relationship or change is an actual threat to your security. Ne-doms are supposed to be optimistic and excited about the future. 6ish Ne-doms seem to be excellent problem-solvers and linear thinkers, able to foresee bad things and keep them from happening due to intuition + logic, but they need to learn to integrate into 9 and chill so their Ne can breathe and do what it’s supposed to do – which is to look for new possibilities and opportunities with enthusiasm, and not have to analyze the hell out of everything before they commit to it (and poll 15 of their closest friends ;).

Jordan Peterson in his book talks about a woman he knew, who became housebound. It did not start out that way. At first, she was just anxious about driving to the mall, because she was afraid she might not find a parking space. So that fear started her keeping away from the mall. It became a “place I do not drive to.” Pretty soon, her anxiety grew a little bit. There were other places she did not drive it. Places she did not feel safe. So she stopped going to them. And little by little, her world shrank. Until she did not feel safe outside her front door. I pitied her when I read that, and decided it would never be me. I force myself to do things, within reason, that I am scared of, so I can prove to myself that I did it. But… I do not do this nearly as often as I should, to truly improve. And for better or worse, life has not forced me out of my comfort zone much, which means I have to do it myself.

You need to learn to balance what is actually logical, and what is just fearful. Good logic rides on the balance of probability. It factors in the odds of what you’re afraid of actually happening. Irrational fears are fixating on things that are not possible, rational caution is focusing on what could happen, and what has a high chance of happening. That is where true wisdom comes in – better to be cautious than regret it, but not so cautious that you miss out on all the good things life has to offer because you never left your house. Abducted by aliens – irrational fear. Walking down a secluded street alone at 1am – a good chance of being predator bait.

When I’m stuck somewhere in the middle, I find it helpful to do what Doctor Phil suggests – get out a notebook, and ask yourself one question after another, so you’re writing out a logical train of thought. (”What is the real reason you do not want to do X?” “Well, Y will happen.” “And what will happen if Y does happen?” “Well…”) Keep going until you have literally discussed it all; you will either wind up seeing that your fears are irrational or with contingency plans. (”If I get lost in the Miami airport, I will do Z.”) Either way, you will be thinking clearly and not with a mind infused with anxiety.

Now, as for being stuck in your lower function. High Ne’s generally fixate on Si impressions like, “It was better in the past,” or “I am never going to move forward but be stuck here forever,” when they are not actively moving forward. This will create a deep sense of dissatisfaction that you will try and fill in other ways, but they will not work, because the root cause of the problem is that fear is holding you back. So, start moving forward. Even just a little. What is it that you want to do? What is the first step? How big of a step can you take? Focus on one thing at a time. You can do it. Who do you want to be? Where do you want to be? WHAT do you want to be?

I admire brave people who do not seem afraid of life. I look at them with longing. But in reality, no one is keeping me a prison to my anxiety except me. I am choosing, by not doing, to feed the monster and to shrink my world. And the only person who as the key to my prison cell is also me. The choice as to whether or not to let myself out… is mine. And it’s the same for you.

So, make your Ne happy. Stop thinking. Start doing… with a plan. Sometimes all it takes is saying yes when fear tells you to say no. Then showing up. Often, as a 6, I have learned that my anxiety about something was unfounded and that when I am in the middle of doing it, I am strangely calm and “okay.” Odds are, you will be too.

I hope that helped. I wish I had some grand, inspiring story of how one day I woke up and was confident about everything – but that would be a lie. That is not the path I have to hoe. Other people have other struggles, this is mine.

- ENFP Mod

[lovemesomesurveys]

[found at: joybucket]

When was the last time you did something for the first time? Hmm. My days are so routine and much of the same I don’t even remember.

Which do you prefer: Valentine's Day or Easter? Easter.

Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? I only decorate for Halloween and Christmas, though the past few years it’s just been Christmas. I like to start right after Thanksgiving.

What color bottoms are you wearing right now? I’m wearing black Adidas leggings with the 3 white stripes down each pant leg.

Do you love life?! No. I love my loved ones in my life and I am grateful for them and the things I do have, but I don’t have this lust or passion for life that I wish I did. I’m definitely not living it to the fullest, or really at all these past few years. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time. I don’t know what I want to do in life or what my passions are. My depression and other health stuff have taken over and hardened me it seems. :/ 

What's your favorite Starbucks drink? For a little over a month it’s been a peppermint white chocolate mocha. I’ve literally had one like 4-5 times a week. Prior to the holiday season I definitely wasn’t getting Starbucks that often, so I don’t know what sparked the sudden obsession but I’ve been obsessed. I’m hoping they have the smoked butterscotch latte this year, which should be coming out soon and will be next go-to. Other times in the year I typically get a caramel macchiato or white chocolate mocha. I often buy the Starbucks Doubleshot coffee energy drink from the store, too. The white chocolate one in particular. 

What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? It wasn’t good, but the last selfie I took was on NYE and I was wearing a Baby Yoda/Grogu sweatshirt and leggings, but in the photo I had my rose gold throw blanket wrapped around me.

What's on your wish list right now? Christmas just passed and I certainly haven’t started one for this year yet. Or for my birthday, which is months away. I can’t think of anything right now.

What do you use to sweeten your tea? A packet or two of Sweet n’ Low.

Which dollar store do you like best? I don’t have a favorite one. I rarely go there.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No.

What's one challenge you want to complete for YouTube? None. I don’t make YouTube videos.

If you make YouTube videos, do you have a posting schedule? --

When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? Leaving the house during a pandemic, which thankfully and fortunately for me is only once a month. 

How would you rate your self-esteem? low, healthy, or high? I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem.

Do you own a tripod for your camera? No. I don’t have a camera, I just use my phone to take photos.

Would you rather go to London, Paris, or Tokyo? Either London or Paris.

Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Ha, the previous question made me think of that Hilary Duff song. Anyway, I’d say Hilary Duff.

Which Olsen twin was your favorite: Mary-Kate or Ashley, and why? I didn’t have a favorite one, I liked them both. I watched all their movies and TV shows growing up.

Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? I have a few times before.

Do you enjoy putting outfits together? I used to put effort and thought into that, but now I just throw something on lol.

Would you rather it rain or snow? I wish it snowed here.

What does your umbrella look like? I don’t have one.

What color are your nails painted? They’re not. I haven’t painted my nails in years.

Are your nails always painted? Well, no. 

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? Tangerines.

Do you wear headbands? No.

Do you own a boho bandeau? No.

Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? I don’t wear either of those.

What's a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I don’t understand why Crocs became popular. I remember when everyone thought they were ugly and typically they were only worn by doctors because they’re apparently really comfortable. Then there was a shift in recent years and people love them now?? They even have different pins to decorate them with that you stick in the holes (kjfksldklsd that word).

Which YouTuber do you want to be more like? There’s not one particular one, but there’s a few whose personality traits I’d like to have.

Do you wear jeggings or leggings more? Leggings all day, everyday.

^Same questions, but jeggings or skinny jeans? I’ve only worn legging the past few years, but before that I would have said skinny jeans. Those are the only jeans I have and would wear.

Do you like stuffed animals? *looks around my room and sees the shit ton of giraffe stuffed animals all around, along with several other plushies* Yeah, you could say that. 

What was your favorite class in high school? English.

Have you ever gotten straight A's in a class? If so, which classes? Yeah, English for sure and some others.

Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? I didn’t take the SATs.

What's the best coffee shop in your town, in your opinion? I just go to Starbucks. Judge me all you want. 

Are you happy today? No.

If so, what made you happy today?

When was the last time you woke up to a beautiful sunrise? For the past year I’ve been up past the sunrise everyday.

Is your bed right by a window? It’s right across from it.

Do you spent more time in your bedroom or your living room? My room.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Christmas, for sure.

Do you decorate for holidays? Just Christmas the past few years, but I do have Halloween decorations. To be honest the past 2 years I kept my Christmas decorations up in my room. Not sure why I didn’t put up the Halloween decorations the other times. I want to put away my Christmas decorations and decorate for Halloween this year.

What craft project do you want to do next? I don’t do crafts.

Do you name stuffed animals still? A lot of my giraffes have names.

Do you still own your favorite Barbie? I still have my Barbies and their accessories stored away.

What was your favorite Barbie? I just loved Barbies.

Favorite Bratz doll? I didn’t have a favorite. I was a little old when those came out, though I did have a couple. I just wasn’t into them like I was Barbies.

Favorite American Girl doll? I didn’t have one.

Favorite Disney princess? Ariel.

Favorite cartoon character? The Rugrats crew.

Are you rebellious? No, I’m like the least rebellious human on the face of the Earth. <<< Count me in as well.

What's the most rebellious thing you've ever done? Smoking weed was a big thing for me. 

What's your favorite thing about yourself? I’m not a big fan of myself, particularly the person I’ve become the past few years.

Have you ever celebrated Valentine's Day when you were single? I’ve always been single on Valentine’s Day, so. It’s really just another day, but there were a few years I specifically got my favorite candy or sweets and watched a few rom-coms on that day. 

What's your dream date? I think a Disneyland date would be cute.

If you were dating a guy right now, where would you want him to take you? Nowhere, ha. Just get me takeout and a Starbucks and we can chill at home lol.

Is there a guy you regret letting slip away? Yes.

Are you a guy or a girl? I’m a female.

Are you more boho, girly, edgy, sporty, or hipster? My style is comfy casual. I live in leggings and oversized graphic tees.

Which stereotype do you fit the most? Uhh.

What titles did you win in the senior class polls? None.

Were you popular in school? Nope, not at all. 

If you won a car, what color would you like it to be? Red or blue.

Do you wear hats? Yeah. Do you ever put your hair up in the winter? I always have my hair up. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it so it’s easier to just throw it up.

Do you have bangs? No.

^If not, have you ever had bangs? Yeah, from when I was like 1 until I was like 20, which at that point I transitioned into side bangs. Now I have neither. I’ve actually been kinda wanting to get bangs again, but ehhh.

How many siblings do you have? I have two brothers.

Do you have any family members that you've never met? Yes. If you're from the US, what states have you lived in? Just California. 

Who was your best roommate? Haven’t had one.

Was your first roommate your best roommate? ^^^ What's the best family vacation you've ever been on? Disneyland vacays.

Do you have a Mac or a PC? Mac.

Do you use iMovie? No, but I did in the past before.

What's your dream job? I don’t have one.

What types of YouTube videos are your favorite to watch? ASMR, vlogs, lifestyle.

Which do you watch more: TV, YouTube, or movies? YouTube, followed by TV, then movies.

Do you prefer books or movies? I enjoy both, but I definitely read a lot more.

Have you ever wanted to be a model? No.

Are you cold right now? No, I’m kinda warm.

What do the last pair of pants you bought look like? It was a pair of leggings, surprise, surprise. They were Halloween leggings.

What store(s) do you do most of your shopping at? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

What style of wedding dress is your favorite? I don’t have one.

What years did you attend prom? Just senior year.

What color is the last sweater you wore? Dark blue.

What do you want to be for Halloween? I don’t dress up or go anywhere anymore.

What is your name, and what are the different spelling variations of it? My name is Stephanie, I’ve seen people spell it Stefani and Stefanie.

Do you like your name how it's spelled? Yeah.

Would you change your name if given the chance? Nah.

Did you ever want to be famous? When I was a kid it seemed like it would be fun. Ha, I remember I used to practice my signature. I’d pretend I was giving out autographs lol.

Would you ever want to be famous now? Noooo.

Who are the cutest babies you see on Facebook? A few of my Facebook friends have babies.

What would your name had been if you were born the opposite gender? My mom said Jesse.

If you had a twin of the same gender, what would his/her name be? I have no idea.

What is your first and middle name? All ya need to know is Stephanie.

What year were you born? 1989.

How old does that make you? I’m 31.

[lavieboheme930]

705

When was the last time you did something for the first time? Jan. 2018 when I did my first open mic Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter? Easter Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? Just whenever really What color bottoms are you wearing right now? royal blue Do you love life?! Sure What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? NONE!!!  Worked there for 7 long years and was treated like shit by workers and customers.  Rather not think about that place

What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? Red shirt and my pirate jacket What’s on your wish list right now? a boyfriend would be nice What do you use to sweeten your tea? honey or sugar Which dollar store do you like best? None.  I hate dollar stores Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No What’s one challenge you want to complete for youtube? None If you make youtube videos, do you have a posting schedule? I don’t make youtube When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? When I did my open mic I guess How would you rate your self-esteem? low, healthy, or high? Ehh I really don’t know Do you own a tripod for your camera? No Would you rather go to London, Paris, or Tokyo? London Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Hilary Duff Which Olsen twin was your favorite: Mary-Kate or Ashley, and why? Ashley Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? Yes I do!!! Do you enjoy putting outfits together? Sure Would you rather it rain or snow? Neither What does your umbrella look like? Don’t have one What color are your nails painted? maroon called Divine Are your nails always painted? Pretty much now they are What’s one thing you’ve had a toxic reaction to? Nothing Do you wear headbands? Nope Do you own a boho bandeau? No Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? tunic What’s a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I think all trends are ridiculous  Which youtuber do you want to be more like? NONE!!! Do you wear jeggings or leggings more? leggings ^Same questions, but jeggings or skinny jeans? Either or Do you like stuffed animals? Yes What was your favorite class in high school? None.  Hated high school Have you ever gotten straight A’s in a class? If so, which classes? Yes.  Many Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? No What’s the best coffee shop in your town, in your opinion? Periscope coffee Are you happy today? Yes If so, what made you happy today? I just always try to be happy in general When was the last time you woke up to a beautiful sunrise? HA!  I don’t wake up for sunrise LOL Is your bed right by a window? Nope Do you spent more time in your bedroom or your living room? Bedroom cause I work from home and do my work from my room since it’s my office as well  Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Halloween Do you decorate for holidays? Yes What craft project do you want to do next? None Do you name stuffed animals still? Yes Do you still own your favorite Barbie? No What was your favorite Barbie? I don’t remember Favorite Bratz doll? I think her name was Frankie Favorite American Girl doll? Samantha  Favorite Disney princess? Jasmine Favorite cartoon character? Aladdin Are you rebellious? No What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Nothing What’s your favorite thing about yourself? How friendly I am Have you ever celebrated Valentine’s Day when you were single? Usually I hate Valentine’s Day cause I’ve always been single.  But this year, I did celebrate even being single cause I went to see Michael Carbonaro!!!! What’s your dream date? I don’t know

If you were dating a guy right now, where would you want him to take you? N/A Is there a guy you regret letting slip away? No Are you a guy or a girl? Girl

Are you more boho, girly, edgy, sporty, or hipster? I’m just me Which stereotype do you fit the most? None What titles did you win in the senior class polls? I was homeschooled Were you popular in school? No If you won a car, what color would you like it to be? Black or red Do you wear hats? all the time Do you ever put your hair up in the winter? No.  I hardly ever put it up ever Do you have bangs? No ^If not, have you ever had bangs? Yes How many siblings do you have? None Do you have any family members that you’ve never met? I’m sure of it If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in? just New York Who was your best roommate? Never had a roommate Was your first roommate your best roommate? N/A What’s the best family vacation you’ve ever been on? Washington DC Do you have a Mac or a PC? chromebook Do you use iMovie? Sometimes What’s your dream job? The one I have now, Author What types of youtube videos are your favorite to watch? None Which do you watch more: TV, youtube, or movies? TV Do you prefer books or movies? Books Have you ever wanted to be a model? No Are you cold right now? Yes What do the last pair of pants you bought look like? No idea which those were What store(s) do you do most of your shopping at? All sorts of places What style of wedding dress is your favorite? I don’t care What years did you attend prom? Only the senior formal in college, 2005 What color is the last sweater you wore? Gray What do you want to be for Halloween? Flatfoot the Pirate cause it was favorite custome What is your name, and what are the different spelling variations of it? Christine.  And there are many Do you like your name how it’s spelled? Yes Would you change your name if given the chance? No Did you ever want to be famous? Nah Would you ever want to be famous now? Nah Who are the cutest babies you see on facebook? Whatever What would your name had been if you were born the opposite gender? Joseph If you had a twin of the same gender, what would his/her name be? No idea What is your first and middle name? Not telling you What year were you born? 1983 How old does that make you? 35 

[thisiswhathappenswhenimbored]

we can’t tell the future but that’s just the beauty of the world we know.

Do you own pastel-colored pants?  I don’t think I do anymore. What type of lotion do you use? Whatever unscented lotion I can find. 

What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Probably Aeropostale or Old Navy. 

If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Blue.

What is your favorite color, do you look good in it, & do you wear it a lot? Blue, I don’t wear it often though.

Name someone you know who hates pink. Breezy, my three year old. 

What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? I don’t have a particular favorite, I like almost all of her songs. 

Do you kill bugs? I have pest control come every three months so that I don’t have to deal with bugs because if I see it in my house it’s gonna die.  

Have you ever had a bedroom that had wallpaper on the walls? Absolutely not. 

Do you own any rompers? I used to. I don’t think I do anymore though.

What’s one thing you’ve done to celebrate Earth Day? I try to plant a tree or plant of some kind.

Do you use window clings? No. What color is your stapler? I don’t own a stapler.

Do you have a desk that you sit at in your room? No, I sit in my bed with my laptop on my lap.

What do you miss about college? I never really got the college experience. I got pregnant & married instead.

Was your middle school crush the same as your high school crush? Nope, I didn’t go to school with my middle school crush after middle school. 

What is/was your dream school? I grew up in California so I really for the longest time wanted to go to USC or UCLA. However, after high school I wanted to go to VCU, but we couldn’t afford it. 

Do you wish you could talk to someone about your past? If so, who? No, I attempted to go to therapy for postpartum depression but my therapist just wanted to focus on my dad’s alcoholism. So I just don’t really care to anymore, I have moved past it on my own so I don’t really want to relive it. 

What motivates you?  Music. My kids. My husband. 

Have you ever completed a weight loss program? Nope.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? I was just talking to my husband about this the other day, I can’t remember what we were talking about though. But I fried shrimp for dinner for the first time, that was exciting & it was delicious.  

Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter? Either? I don’t really celebrate anymore, unless you count my lilies & bottle of liquor from my husband. I like to celebrate with my kids more. 

Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? Decorate for what? I’ve been in my house for over 18 months & it’s still not decorated. 

What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? Year round, iced caramel macchiato with extra caramel, light ice and whole milk. I count down to holiday drink time though caramel brulee latte is my absolute favorite Starbucks drink ever. 

What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? Probably my PJs, my three year old & I take plenty of selfies on Snapchat everyday. She loves filters. 

What’s on your wish list right now?  A lot of stuff, the number one thing was a new laptop & my husband already bought me one so I have to figure out what else there is so that people have something to buy me for Christmas. 

What do you use to sweeten your tea? If it’s iced, sugar. If it’s hot, honey. 

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? Yes, I actually have a few in my closet right now.

When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? Um I’m not sure. 

How would you rate your self-esteem? Low, healthy, or high? Low.

Do you own a tripod for your camera? No, I don’t have a fancy camera either, I use my phone more than anything.

Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? I liked them both.

Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? No. 

Do you enjoy putting outfits together? No, I never really know what to wear.

Would you rather it rain or snow? Definitely snow.

What does your umbrella look like? It’s black with rainbow polka dots on it. 

What’s one thing you’ve had a toxic reaction to? Do you mean like, emotionally/mentally toxic? Ohhh, I have no idea but I’m sure I’ve been toxic before. 

Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? They’re both cute but I don’t think I’d ever wear a crop top until I lose some weight. 

What’s a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I don’t know, I don’t really pay attention to trends. 

Which YouTuber do you want to be more like? I just want to be a YouTuber. I need to start recording. 

Do you like stuffed animals? Yes. Although I’ve given all of mine to my kids.

What was your favorite class in high school? Forensics.

Have you ever gotten straight A’s in a class? If so, which classes?  I got straight A’s until high school & my first semester in college. 

Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? I got zero perfect scores, but I did okay.

Are you happy today? If so, what made you happy today? Eh it’s an okay day. 

Is your bed right by a window? No, it’s across the room from the windows. 

Do you spend more time in your bedroom or your living room? Living room, my husband gets mad when I’m in the bedroom too much. 

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Christmas.

Do you name stuffed animals still?  No, I help my three year old name hers though. 

 What titles did you win in the senior class polls? Absolutely zero but I’m pretty sure they were rigged my senior year anyway.

Were you popular in school? No, I’m not even really sure anyone besides my friends knew who I was. 

If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in? Virginia, Indiana, California, & Florida. 

Who was your best roommate? My husband?

Was your first roommate your best roommate? Um the only person I’ve ever lived with is my husband. I mean we lived in a house with like 7 other people at one point but I don’t really think any of them would be considered good roommates, well except one. 

What’s the best family vacation you’ve ever been on? When I was probably about 7 or so we went to New Jersey for Christmas, probably the last time all the cousins were together for a holiday. Anyway someone had chicken pox so they sent all of us out to play together in the sunroom, I had already had it twice so I didn’t end up getting, everyone else did though. We also played in the snow, sledded down the hill & went to the QuikStop (From Clerks) multiple times. 

Have you ever wanted to be a model? No, it’s not something I’ve ever really wanted to do. 

What years did you attend prom? I attended my junior prom my junior year & prom my senior year, did not have fun either time & wish I could go back & change it. 

What do you want to be for Halloween?  Halloween has passed but next year I’m going to try to talk my girls into being the Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus & my husband can be Billy. 

Which member of your family are you closest to? Um? I’m not really sure. I used to be super close to my family but not so much anymore. 

If you have any regrets, what is the biggest one? If not, why do you have no regrets? Letting my dreams fall to the wayside for so long. Giving up on myself after high school. 

Would you ever apply to be on reality TV? Why? I have been telling my best friend for years we need a reality TV show or vlog. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit that happens to us/our families.

What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? Meeting my husband, he literally saved my life. I was in a really dark place when I met him & I don’t know where I would be without him or if I would even be alive. 

Do you have a hard time letting things go? Eh my husband hates this about me but no matter how bad you treat me I’m always ready to give you another chance. I believe the best in everyone & I’m always getting hurt because of it. 

What have you accomplished in life that has made you the most happy?  I graduated, I’m the first in my family to do that. I survived my horrendous childhood. I had two beautiful children. I am married to the most amazing man. I am going back to school for a degree in a field that I have dreamed about since I was 7.  Have you ever struggled with your weight? Right now. In high school I was 125lbs at my heaviest. I now weigh 151lbs, I’ve also had two kids & I no longer do ballet. I am struggling with body image issues because of my weight but I’m trying to get on track with losing it. 

Do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? I mean if I don’t have anything I need to do then yeah I’ll stay in my PJs all day but I try to get dressed. 

In high school did you have a lot of friends? Do you still keep in touch? I had quite a few friends. There was a core group but I still keep in touch with quite a number of my friends. My best friend has been my best friend since September 2004 so like 16 years?

Do you really care about such issues as abortion, religion, and global warming?  Yes because they are inherently serious issues.

Who is the biggest womanizer you know? Hmmm, that’s a tough question because I know quite a few.

Would you ever have a threesome? I’ve had one before but I don’t think I’d ever do it with my husband because well I don’t share. Who is the most attractive person you know? I’m married but I definitely would leave my husband in a heartbeat for Idris Elba, sorry not sorry. 

When did you last feel the most free? Um, I don’t know. Probably the last time I went surfing, forever ago. Is there anyone who likes (or liked) you and had a really hard time getting over you? I don’t know? I know there’s a few people that liked me, but I got married. 

 Did you ever love someone and feel like it was wrong?  No? I was literally always raised that you can’t help who you love, I’m bisexual & knew from a pretty young age. It’s not wrong to love whoever you love.

What’s the longest amount of time you liked/loved somebody for? My husband, we’ve been married almost 10 years.

What song makes you cry? Ummm lots of songs. 

Do you like rock or rap music better? I like both equally, I have very eclectic, taste in music. 

If you could watch someone change, would you? Ummm?

Ever known someone with an eating disorder? I THINK so but she never admitted to it. 

Have you ever had a white Christmas? The day after Christmas 2010 it snowed an unbelievable 18″ in Virginia. 

What’s something you want to do but aren’t sure of yet? I’m not sure, really I’m just living day to day right now.

Biggest lie you ever told? I don’t know & I’d rather not relive my past. 

Do you have a religion? I’m labeled Southern Baptist, although I regard myself as more spiritual than religious. Believe that there is a point to churches?  Of course, people believe what they believe. It gives them a sense of peace to be able to worship their higher power.  How do eat Oreos? I don’t generally eat Oreos.

Converse or Vans? I love Vans.

Dancing or watching others dance?  I love watching competitions. I have no rhythm so when I dance it’s not normally pretty. 

Favorite thing to touch/feel? I don’t really know, I don’t really pay attention.

Rather be in a tornado or a large earthquake? I’ve been through both, I lived in California for a while & then in Indiana for a while. I’m in Virginia now & lived in Florida for a few years. Been through it all, although I, strangely miss earthquakes. 

Would you rather Santa or the Easter Bunny actually exist? Santa is pretty cool. 

Would you rather spread gossip or start a fight?  Gossip is stupid. Do I gossip? Sure, but I don’t spread what I hear & I would never lie about someone. Starting fights is stupid too. We’re not kids anymore. 

What has been the best New Year's for you so far & why? I’m not really entirely sure I’m 30 so I’ve gone through a few New Year’s. 

What is the weirdest fear you’ve ever heard of someone having? Do you have any weird fears, and if so, what are they? I don’t think any fear is weird, no matter what I think about it, it’s very real to that person. My fear that everyone would think is weird is grasshoppers/crickets. I hate them & will not even be in the same room as them. Like I won’t even go into the garage if there’s one in there, I also refuse to mow my lawn because they’re out there & they jump on me.

How did you find Tumblr? I have had a blog on just about every blogging platform that was cool while I was in high school. 

What of the 8 wonders of the world do you find the most fascinating, if any? Hmmm, I’m not sure. I think everything about the world is interesting, there’s so many things that are unexplained & they fascinate me. 

Do you have a webcam? If you do, do you ever use it and what for? I’m trying to get into streaming & starting a podcast. 

What is something that you think is really underrated? Hmmm, I’m not really sure. 

Have you ever had a dream where you died? Did anything weird happen to your body after it? No? At least not that I remember.

What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? How about the most realistic? I’m not sure. I have pretty messed up dreams especially while pregnant. Probably the scariest dream would be the one where my husband died. It was entirely to realistic, like it took my breath away when I woke up.

Do you have a favorite fashion trend? What is it? Is there a fashion trend right now that you think is completely ridiculous, and if so, what?  I really don’t follow trends, fashion is fashion but I’ll wear what I feel most comfortable in. 

Do you tend to like original horror movies or re-makes better? What’s your favorite horror movie? Is it an original or a remake?  I like most all horror movies but recent remakes are shameful. I don’t really have a favorite though, I like them all for the most part, it’s my favorite genre of movie.

What is one characteristic in a person that you cannot stand? What characteristics do you like best in a person? Do you possess any of these characteristics?  I don’t really know. I don’t really like people that don’t have self-control or don’t have patience. I don’t really think I like a certain characteristic more than any other. I’m not entirely sure what characteristics I possess, it will be different to everyone I know. 

What kind of jeans do you like best? I wear mainly leggings lately but I like skinny jeans too. 

What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? My boyfriend was killed by his father. They were fighting over me, my boyfriend wanted to come see me, as I was in a different state. His dad pushed him & he tripped over something & fell out the picture window on the second story, he died from his injuries. I would say it bothers me, for the longest time I was sure we were going to get married, we had planned our whole lives together & then it was ripped away from me in an instant, I didn’t even find out he died until almost a week later. 

[stardust-empress]

2017 lessons learned. 2018 Let’s go!!!!✨

I think I am writing on my tumblr only once or twice a year. That needs to stop. Seems like every year I am writing a recap or reflection of the year before and it all sounds the same every year. Almost sounds repetitive trying to say the same shit. We as humans get caught in our comfort zone and nothing ever changes and wonder why there is no growth or progress.

See that shit really needs to stop. Especially in our everyday lives. Most of us acknowledge “this the way it is then so be it”. Examples of work, social lives, love lives, & self progress. We psych ourselves out of if I or we change it’s only going to get worse or I don’t like change its fine how it is. Sometimes deep down realizing it not fine. We then digress,deflect, & drown ourselves in misery of what should of, could of, or would of been. Now this is the year more than ever to say “I am or this is worth the risk of making change overall for the better”. We should never spend our years on this earth with regret. Only pushing to strive oneself to improve one’s way of life, thinking, doing,being,& seeking will be a step forward of working for your loved ones and yourself to be the best person you truly are. No matter how big or little your dreams, desires, and goals are.

Have you ever thought to yourself I want to make a change and leave an imprint in this world? Now is your time to do so!!!!✨WE all feel as humans I want to be loved, matter, and feel important. It’s in sense of spiritual, emotional, mentally, & sometimes physical to feel validation and acceptance from others.

The first thing is to not feel validation in others right away but in yourself. This is key to know who you truly are, your self worth, and to love yourself unconditionally. That is when you can reach that to seek validation in others that matter to you the most. Otherwise, it will set yourself up for disappoint, heartache, and misery.

We are not perfect. We all have what we consider are our flaws and beat ourselves up about why we can’t be this or that person. We have to stop validating ourselves in others especially those are not genuine in our self growth of becoming a better person. Many will wonder why you want change and those are usually the people that don’t want you to change for the better and/or loves one to stay in agony or misery. Some people are not willing to change themselves so they drag you along to stay with their and your misery.

That is not right and is 100% bullshit. I believe in order to make difference in this world it starts with change within on a positive level and then encouraging and compromising others to do the same. We all will have different paces and paths but in doing so it can create a chain reaction of then moving to next step working together in this world.

In moving into 2018,a big thing I think is needed are taking social media breaks. I several times in this blog and my old reflected on social media being good and bad for us.

Kind of connecting into what I wrote above, it is ESSENTIAL that one take a brake from social media once in a while. We all in some way or form get caught up in the moment/hoopla of it all. Some of us seek refuge in what’s going on with others,topics, events going on and will seek approval in others to validate what’s going on in our lives or making decisions or way of thinking. I say take everything from the internet with a grain of salt. Not everything and everyone will know the truth or have the answers you seek.

It’s like the expression of older generations “ Do believe everything you see/hear/done on the radio/tv/protests??! No.

Know that the internet is a tool used to expand your knowledge and social medias are used to expand on connecting with strangers (sometimes turn into new friends), friends from afar, and family as well.

Lessons will be learned from this vast, weird, all apps/sites from our newly one-click gadgets. Best advice I say is proceed with caution but have fun. It is here as a tool to reach out and connect.

Although know the reality of it too is to not get caught up in likes,dislikes, polls, emojis, and comments whether good or bad that it brings. There is a world outside these little boxes and do not let this control your life while exploring the beauty of it all ( also beauty of block, mute, & report button).

I call it the double edge sword. You can be praised one minute then ridiculed the next. People will flake on you or be fake in front of you. It can sometimes become a vicious cycle of getting caught up of it all. I really believe it leads to depression,anxiety,& suicidal thoughts or amping it up for worse sometimes. You can find genuine friends and loved ones that will listen and help but if anything seek help in professional help ( there are websites and toll free numbers to do so).

Moreover, in positivity overall of social media ( like myself) have met some the best people on here from all over the world!

Importantly don’t over think everything. Be in the moment. Be in the now!!!✨

Enclosing, let 2018 be the year of light, love, and positivity. Let this be the year of change in one self for the best you can be and for others as well. Make this year yours and do it with love, acceptance, encouragement, compromise and peace. You have a purpose in life.

Always,

Lyssa Love

[woodsyboxingandlife]

Roy Moore Is a P.O.S.

This Roy Moore character, I won’t even call him “Judge” because for lord’s sake, he was tossed from his seat, on two occasions, his case and how the public at large isn’t responding to the piling on of allegations, on the record, against him, is raising my BP.

This Moore clown…no, that’s too kind, too benevolent a characterization of an apparet predator…

This Moore fella is now running for a Senate seat representing the citizens of Alabama, sweet home to about 4.8 million people, too many of whom feel, polling tells us, that they don’t see Roy Moore as being anything other than deserving of the Senate seat given up by the current Attorney General, Jefferson Sessions.

They don’t see him as I do…which as a piece of shit. OK, I’m going with that one…harsh, reserved for the truly deserving…piece of shit.

Ouch, harsh Woods, some who have stumbled onto this, thinking I am writing about the latest great white hope in the heavyweight division or what have you. Nah, if you haven’t heard or read, this guy Roy Moore, who was a judge and then a DA in Bama, has a high regard of himself, to the point that he thinks he’d make a fine Senator. He is heading towards a place where he’s going to be the only one seeing himself as Senate material, as a continuing stream of allegations, and first-person publicly delivered accusations by women that declare that Moore, a grown man, engaged in at best unseemly and at worst straight-on sex assault of young ladies, if we are being politically correct, “girls,” some of them, if we are not, dribble out. One or two a day, now…

Five ladies, it was reported, said that Moore, who was bumped from his spot as Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court after two years because of overt religiosity, a refusal to respect the separation of church and state, was a super creep.  But he still had that high assessment of self—he twice attempted to win the Governor job, and was rebuffed in the primaries. He got a second chance as Chief Justice in 2013 but again fumbled, after three years, showing blatant bigotry towards gays, by enforcing a state ban on same-sex marriage, which the Supreme Court invalidated.

So, if you are boiling it down, Moore finds it unlawful for two men to marry—but now a steady stream of ladies have come forward to relay that the man, now 70, was in decades past fast and loose with his own conduct. Moore, in the days following the allegations storm, admitted he’d date teens when he was in his 30s. They were over 16, he stated. Ewww, came the calls from a dare say a strong majority of decent minded beings, though many in and outside Alabama were dismayed when polling showed a devoted flock wouldn’t stray from their man Moore. These pro Moore stalwarts looked down on the aggrieved women who’d been harassed and seduced and/or molested by Moore back in the day, and said their sharing of the misconducts was nothing more than conspiracy politics, smear tactics by persons who apparently just deemed him such a titan of righteousness and political acumen that they decided he’d need to be character assasinated to remove him from the playing field.

So, to this point, people who’ve accused Moore of misconduct are painted, basically, as Hillary Clinton supporting Libtards. They’ve been dismissed and discounted, critiqued by Moore defenders who try to sound like Columbo when they say they find it strange that they are crying as they relay a story from 30 years ago. As if to say, how could being molested decades ago really, truly, actually bother someone so much today. You will not be surprised to know that most of the defenders are men, and painting themselves as being empathically deficient at best. And sub moronic cavemen at worst…

Some of these defenders, they seemingly just don’t comprehend how their defending of this track record of molestation reads to us with normal conscience levels. One guy brought on to cable news to be a Moore surrogate noted that Joseph was an older dude and Mary wasn’t of legal drinking age, so, c’mon, Moore was just boys being boys back then. It was the 70s, that is an excuse that comes up time and again.

It was no boys being boys, what Beverly Young Moore, a Trump voter, told media two days ago. She was 16, Moore age 30, an ADA, someone looked up to as a pillar of lawfulness. This was no horseplay gone awry when he drove with her, stopped, locked the doors, grabbed at her chest and tried to force her head to his groin. Rape attempt, is what she described. Yes, publicly, which some of these mega morons blinded by the disgraceful political climate that we are mired in point to as a point against her credibility.

She just wants attention, and money, they say.

That seems plausible to them, maybe, because that is maybe how they think…they find it so foreign that maybe someone would be holding on to such a painful memory that they go beyond their comfort zone, their fear of being disbelieved and ridiculed and shunned within the community.

"And he looked at me and told me, 'You’re just a child, and I am the district attorney. If you tell anyone about this, no one will ever believe you," Nelson said. Moore was, a paper reported, then an assistant district attorney in Gadsden, in northeast Alabama, from 1977 to 1982. You choose your description of Moore, will you? I won’t take issue with it, I bet, if you see this situation as I do.

I heard a whopper today that steams me. A lawyer Moore pays to cover for him said, "I've been with him in probably over 100 different meetings and been around probably in excess of 10,000 different ladies in Judge Moore's presence and not once, not one time, have I ever seen him act even remotely inappropriate against any woman."

Jesus H. C-Word, this man has a valid law license?

Friends, back in the day, I used to smoke pot. It was more illegal then. And can I assure you, in that time frame I didn’t spark it up in front of my mom and dad, or the principal, or any other person who I figured wouldn’t be A-OK with my deviation from lawfulness. Yeah, I hid it. As, common sense would tell you, and if you are half a sentient being or not someone being paid by Roy Moore, is what someone who seemed to be a serial perv/molester would do.

They’d sneak and slither and use their sneaky creepy methods to get their victims in a place safe for them to attempt their attack.

This Moore story is yet another one which cements the stark and sad state of where we are as a nation. We are citizens united, we are, too many of us, in our division…polarized by mind sets that virtually render us different species. 63 million people said yes, this guy who was accused of molestation or harassment by 11 women, who has a track record of stiffing vendors, playing the system by declaring bankruptcies, and defrauded innocents by promising a high level education experience and delivering an adult-ed night school status one, this is the guy we deem Presidential material. Who was on tape bragging about hitting on a married woman, and how he can walk up and grab a lady’s pussy because he is rich and famous and immune from blowback. This EXCEPTIONAL nation elected this crude con man, who walks around painted on orange spray tan year round and doesn’t get the memo that he looks like a buffoon, is an ethical black hole and you have to go back to our civil war experience to offer a similar era of instability of national morale.

Too many of those same Trumpers, it seems like, cannot ponder that this Moore off the rails story is anything other than a vast left wing conspiracy to make it so a Libtard gets the Session seat. That “reasoning” defies common sense, and points to an outbreak of madness. Because, c’mon it isn’t sane. As if we needed more evidence of that. Those that wish to hold on to power, at pretty much any cost, will over-look egregious examples of misconduct and duplicity and lying under oath to adhere to the higher power that so many of these politicians look up to, their God, their framework for living, their personal Constitution…enriching themselves, by securing and holding on to power, and the trappings, be it monetary, or ego-massaging, which come with it.

Oh, and let’s not even delve deep into the concurrent shit shows that are giving the DC follies a run for the money. The Cosby-Weinstein-Louis CK-(insert fallen idol of the hour-day here) quagmire is confirming what so many women who’d been targeted by “important” movers and shakers/liberty takers had figured out: sooo many guys use their power like a weapon. They dangle the possibility for upward mobility, or maybe even dispense with that, and just assume because they are well-known public figures they deserve to treat people like items on a buffet line. They do’t see a person, they see a tray of orange beef.

The ingredients missing in the Moores and the CKs and whoever is outed as a perv piece of shot tomorrow are…empathy.. decency…integrity..humility.

All these guys saw something, which was actually a SOMEBODY, with a feelings, and went after it. With rude voraciousness…they didn’t care or consider their actions would cause alarm, dismay, fear, terror, post traumatic stress. The millenials get smacked down for being entitled; this conduct that we’re hearing has been a Hollywood staple isn’t that the height of toxic entitlement. Aesthetic train wreck Weinstein because of his powerful seat didn’t need to match up his appeal level with a potential romantic or sexual partner, he’d be the sole arbiter if there was a “love” connection, because he saw not a human being, but a vessel to serve him, to please him. How Trump sees his office, I think.

Mark these words: Roy Moore will step down from his quest to serve his ego and be elected to the Senate. Might not be tomorrow, or the next day, but it will happen. And we can take some solace in that. Because our system of communication is not totally broken. People don’t often enough seek news, but corroborative evidence. The “news” they get from Fox News isn’t news, it’s a hit of an opiate,  to soothe them, quell their anger at the state of society, and offer them alternative targets to puncture, so that their angst can dissipate for the moment, and they can avoid for another hour their disgust at the man in the mirror and the fallacy of the validity of the American dream.  But truth still can win…it sort of seeps to the fore, caterpillar quick, and has to be lobbed to persons who don't even realize it but are actively avoiding it. The Roy Moores, the pieces of shit who deserve a jail stint more so than a Senate seat, still eventually do get what is coming to them. Of that, I still have faith.

[honeychildoz]

(via Dear White People: Be More Like Gregg Popovich)

From Shaun King

Brother on the Front Lines.....

“My Latest.

Dear White Men,

Be more like Gregg Popovich. -----

How Americans view their country — and their president — appears to be split almost completely down racial lines. In a recent Gallup poll, 49 percent of white Americans said they do not approve of Trump’s job performance. Anecdotally, the number sounds high, and I suspect it’s because far too many white Americans have a passive, almost silent disapproval of Trump. They might disapprove, but they aren’t saying so out loud; they simply don’t use their voices, their influence, or their privilege to call Trump out the way he truly deserves.

Enter Gregg Popovich, the head coach of the NBA’s San Antonio Spurs.

At a time when black athletes and even black sports reporters are being targeted by Trump, Popovich has spent much of the past year stepping outside of his normally reserved role to use his white privilege in ways perhaps no white man in sports ever has.

On Monday evening, in a conversation with The Nation’s Dave Zirin, Popovich decided to call Trump out with the clearest ferocity anyone could muster. Hours earlier, Trump said Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush never called families of fallen soldiers. The lie clearly incensed Popovich — himself an Air Force veteran.

Before the conversation began, Popovich said, “I want to say something, and please just let me talk, and please make sure this is on the record.” He then continued:

"I’ve been amazed and disappointed by so much of what this president had said, and his approach to running this country, which seems to be one of just a never ending divisiveness. But his comments today about those who have lost loved ones in times of war and his lies that previous presidents Obama and Bush never contacted their families are so beyond the pale, I almost don’t have the words."

Popovich continued, "This man in the Oval Office is a soulless coward who thinks that he can only become large by belittling others. This has of course been a common practice of his, but to do it in this manner — and to lie about how previous presidents responded to the deaths of soldiers — is as low as it gets. We have a pathological liar in the White House, unfit intellectually, emotionally, and psychologically to hold this office, and the whole world knows it, especially those around him every day. The people who work with this president should be ashamed, because they know better than anyone just how unfit he is, and yet they choose to do nothing about it. This is their shame most of all."

The coach then said “bye” to Zirin, and hung up.

Popovich’s statement was remarkable even outside the context of the sports world. Few public figures in American life have called out Trump and those who enable him with the same ferocity.

It seems like Popovich feels he has to say these things — not just because those around Trump won’t, but because he sees African Americans ranging from Colin Kaepernick to ESPN’s Jemele Hill paying an enormous price in their careers because of Trump and his ilk. Popovich is fully aware that to be black and call out Trump comes with a cost — a cost that being white and calling out Trump does not incur. Trump has still refused to acknowledge or mention either Popovich or the white rapper Eminem — both of whom recently lambasted the president in harsh terms.

Popovich is not wasting his white privilege, but is using it for good — and not just by critiquing Trump, but by promoting essential conversations on race. This past September, Popovich tackled the issue of race and white privilege head on.

“Race is the elephant in the room, and we all understand that,” Popovich said at a recent press conference, addressing Kaepernick and the NFL protests. “But unless it is talked about constantly, it’s not going get better.” Popovich went on:

"There has to be an uncomfortable element in the discourse for anything to change. Whether it’s the LGBT movement, or women’s suffrage, race, it doesn’t matter. People have to be made to feel uncomfortable. And especially white people, because we’re comfortable." He continued:

"We still have no clue what being born white means…. Yes, because you were born white, you have advantages that are systemically, culturally, psychologically there. And they’ve been built up and cemented for hundreds of years. But many people can’t look at it. It’s too difficult. It can’t be something that is on their plate on a daily basis. People want to hold their position, people want the status quo, people don’t want to give that up. And until it’s given up, it’s not going be fixed."

I don’t just love sports — I’m obsessed with sports. And I am fairly certain that no white coach or player in the history of American sports has ever spoken with such clarity on white privilege as Popovich did right there. Period.

And this wasn’t the first time Popovich waded into the issues of race and racism in America. In an obscure Black History Month interview from this past February, he leaned in. “I think if people take the time to think about it,” Popovich said about racism, “I think it is our national sin.”

“If you were born white, you automatically have a monstrous advantage — educationally, economically, culturally, in this society and all the systemic roadblocks that exist, whether it’s in a judicial sense, or a neighborhood sense with laws, zoning, education,” he went on. “We have huge problems in that regard that are very complicated, but take leadership, time, and real concern to try to solve. It’s a tough one because people don’t really want to face it.”

Popovich did not get here overnight. While he has spent the bulk of his life coaching and mentoring young black men, not all sports coaches have come this far. One thing NFL coaches and general managers have taught us is that physical proximity to blackness does necessarily amount to understanding. On the other hand, Popovich has made a personal investment to understand what he’s talking about — he has suggested in his remarks that he spends some of his spare time reading about race theory. That may explain why it has taken so long for him to speak out like this.

How ever Popovich got here, his arrival is welcome.

In America, the primary voices calling out discrimination are its victims. Just as women tend to more frequently call out sexism and Muslims tend to be the leading voices against Islamophobia, the primary voices calling out racism are African Americans. And I get that: For the objects of discrimination, calling it out isn’t merely about justice, it’s about survival.

But this is also why so little changes about the substance and systems of discrimination and bigotry in America. Until those who actually benefit most from racism, sexism, classism, and other forms of bigotry speak up and speak out, those systems are likely to remain in place. Popovich gets this. Now we need the other white folks to get it, too.

[jonboudposts]

General Election 3: British Culture is the Problem

1. The Dark Side

One thing for certain about the upcoming General Election on 8 June is that for once we the voters have a choice.  While our piss-weak press went batty over the Labour Party manifesto even before it was released, the rest of us have the chance to see what a real political alternative looks like.  The present state of affairs that produces no improvement for the majority will be provided by electing Teresa May’s government into power.  

The Conservative election campaign is the epitome of the empty rhetoric of modern politics, all about appearance and no depth.  They have no real policies, no costing for their policies (because they do not believe there is a need to) and the few they have show contempt for the public. They stay ‘on message’, one of the most loaded phases in politics, that basically means repeat the same thing until people believe it (where did I read about that being effective?).

Instead of meeting anyone or debating anyone, Theresa May is toured around rooms full of supporters while drooling on about being strong and stable, making personal attacks and nothing else against the leader of the opposition and claiming Europe is out to get her.  The Conservatives are so desperate to keep money on side (their only real god) that they have even screwed over pensioners; the group most likely to vote Conservative.  There are a few reasons for doing this, but chief among them is outright disrespect for the people affected by their policy and arrogance that they can get away with it.

But we must face the fact the Tories believe they can get away with it because of our inaction.

The Labour Party have put forward a progressive and people-centred manifesto that seeks to bring equality to the country and address the severe damage done to many people’s lives by the Conservative austerity rule since 2010.  Many of the policies have been drawn up based on results from polls and public opinion, particularly the re-nationalisation of the railways, water and Royal Mail.

However, there is a rather familiar echo coming from many places that said these policies are what they want.  You have probably heard it, may have even said it; ‘I like the policies/ideas/whatever, but do not like Jeremy Corbyn’ for some unspecified reason; or ‘well there are some good ideas but can they really make it happen?’ or the truly repulsive ‘I don’t want to rock the boat/am too old to change’, etc.  

Most of these people I talk to also say they do not like Theresa May (and never mention Tim Fallon) but still have this almost in-built fear of change, of taking control of their own lives.  There seems to be a lack of understanding about what is actually on the line here.

Let me say this again; Mr Corbyn is willing to give people what they say they want, such as improvements to wages, saving the NHS and putting railways back into public ownership. What most of us often say we want. Now, do you really want these things?

Public of Britain – can you handle a real choice?  

I am afraid you may not be able to.  Years of conditioning and refusal to step out of your comfort zone means when you actually get the option you want, when the time comes to step up and make that choice, you back down.  Let us be honest, many of you are perfectly comfortable.  The middle class in particular have achieved the golden throne of ‘comfortable’.  You are comfortable in deterioration; comfortable in defeat and comfortable so long as no one comes and attacks you directly. You were scared by the financial crisis and surface-level disgusted at the way neo-liberalism-loving banks and their irresponsible staff were bailed out and never faced justice but now…well, everything seems alright again really and we do not want to upset business as some of them may leave and take their great jobs with them – so let’s just go back to being quiet.

Many working class people are just about comfortable too (although far less securely).  All of you however have never been good at coping with change, even when you had a backbone.  The economic changes of thirty years ago usually hit you the worse, but even the idea of ditching an economic system that turns you into little more than slaves is too much to imagine now.

I believe this is the result of a few things but the main one is the internalisation of the class war of the last thirty years.  It has made people weak, reactionary and prone to think too little of themselves and often overtly hateful to others.  You are not willing to stand up or stand out and hate anyone who does.  You people care more about your fucking flag than you do about the future for your children and grandchildren.  My greatest fear is this is the dominant way of thinking in our national psyche.

‘There is a battle of narratives. The working-class narrative is being erased. And as you erase that narrative, you erase truths with it.’ – Mark Thomas

My dad once told me a story about growing up in Camberwell.  He would listen to the adults around him complaining about the Conservative government of the time.  However, when election time came around, they voted Conservative.  ‘Well’ they would respond when dad asked why; ‘they know what they are doing’.  Although it was common during David Cameron’s government to agree that the lack of diversity of his cabinet – privately educated, posh background, never having a real job – was not good for government, it seems in practice many people think this set up is fine, because after all, they know what they are doing. They are well educated unlike us and have run businesses probably and were raised for this position.  The arrogance of their class is not something that really bothers you; if anything it provides a certain sort of security.

These are the elites that you say you hate, right?

No, since Brexit and perhaps before, it is the likes of me that are elitist.  With my aspiration for education and wanting to bring equality of opportunity to all.  Never mind all the shit jobs I have done through my life and the position I am in now; no, I am that London Liberal Falafel Elite.  Not them, who have thrived from the misery they inflict on so many, which they can do because we do not stand up to them.

They made you powerless; so now you want to make me powerless.

The present culture is one of receiving whatever is thrown at us and considering ourselves lucky for some reason.  I am not and never will be ‘lucky’ to have a job.  That is the thinking of the weak and defeated; the malleable and easily-controlled.  We give these people their money and their power; we generate that which they love and hold over us.  We owe them nothing.

There is a lack of hope because people do not want hope.  They are secure in defeat.  They do not want four more Bank Holidays because they do not think they deserve them. They do not want their children to get better access to education because they do not deserve it.  They do not want equality because too many of them fear it will take away what little they have (although they have far more than they admit) and no matter how big and tough the average bloke is, he will not take on his boss because at heart he is a coward.

Never mind who stands for election on what platform – if we do not address this cultural failure, we will never move forward.

We need to cut out this pretence of politeness that people are so obsessed with.  This is not to advocate being unkind to each other on public transport or in the street; or to people serving you food or similar services; but when it comes to politics, do not judge someone’s argument on criteria like dismissing them if they swear or get passionate.  Knowledge is something to care about.

The political elite have a horrible middle class notion of being polite to each other and many of us follow that without thinking. The problem with this is that ultimately it is an empty politeness that prevents anything worthwhile taking place.

We need to tell people when they are wrong and tell toxic people their opinions do not matter to us, then move on and leave them in the dust.  We can start with the anti-PC Brigade; consisting of the professionally insulted and screaming bigots who cannot cope with a world where women have opinions and gays have sex.

Many of these right-wing wing nuts would use language against us as a wind up; words like ‘snowflake’ to describe someone upset by the latest bigotry bile; or ‘triggered’ to someone who responds to suggestions Muslims should be put in camps or whatever. Strangely though, it is much easier to trigger a anti-PC bitch than it is anyone else – try saying Happy Holidays at Christmas time, or having an egg hunt at Easter.  Witness the latest antics of Kelvin McKenzie; who perhaps epitomises the inability to ‘get over it’ no matter how well you are doing. For a bunch of people ‘winning’, they act rather like the opposite. Permanently pissed off because they know that the fundamental parts of the culture war have been lost and they will never get it back.

These commentators and social media parasites have no such qualms of politeness towards the rest of us. They will attack anyone to the left of Genghis Khan, harass LGBT people in some cases to their suicide, plus just straight-up attack people (especially Jeremy Corbyn) on purely personal grounds. The overt Islamaphobia that comes from these quarters, with anti-Antisemitism usually not far behind, must cease to be as tolerated as it presently is within the mainstream.  These people often hide behind legitimate concerns and campaigns such as against FGM, but their reasons are nothing to do with concern for young girls being brutalised; they just hate Muslims and ‘outsiders’ and always have.

Their argument is not about political correctness or the attacking of any non-existent ‘indigenous’ culture; this is about rejecting equality.  These are the same people who have always hated the alternative, women, ethnic minorities or anyone not male, pale and stale like them.  Anti-PCers do not know how to co-exist and do not want to learn.  They will always hate anyone who does not agree with them and their out-of-date and fact-less view of the world.  They are the ones with integration problems.

The Conservatives have done and will continue to do horrible and destructive things to the people of this country and internationally and not only will I not accepts this, I will never forgive them for it.  I see no reason to be compelled to be polite when dealing with them or their supporters, even around a family dinner table.  If you vote for something, the result is partly your responsibility and you will be held to account.  

You cannot hide like your incompetent and careless leader Mrs May.

It is time to strike back and stop taking this shit.  If you are not my politics, you are not my friend.  We may be able to hold a conversation or even have the odd cup of tea together but the present political climate and the people who put us here are unacceptable to me and we will never bridge that gap.

I feel this way for one reason above all else – because the chummy nature of so much politics and culture clash shows me that you do not really have any skin in this game.  

Divisions between our political beliefs are good, they should be embraced.  For how can we evolve when being held back by the weak and jealous?  The Anti-PC Brigade are not just your enemy, they are modern Britain’s enemy and they must be crushed.  This should be a fundamental to our understanding of the world we live in and must navigate through every day.  But we do not.

How did we get to this point?  

The prevailing influence in British or certainly English culture is one of hopelessness.  Defeat and hating anyone, including within your own family, who even look for a second like they may do ‘better’ than you is more common than we might like to admit.  This in a genuine politics of resentment, not a fake Tory-defined one

Many people have drunk the toxic cocktail of hopelessness mixed with nihilism and a life-stripping horror that makes sure defeat is inevitable before you start.  This poison must be destroyed, or there simply cannot be any advancement for people, young or otherwise, in Britain.

The only antidote I can see is Labour Manifesto.

I hope we can turn this around but it may be too late to really change this downward spiral of self-destruction.  I hope for many things.  I hope because I can; because hope is a choice. You have it too.

[livthelifeblog-blog]

Our Passions

Our Passions.

Date: April 18, 2017 Tuesday, 4:13pm break, end 8:50pm

Notes:

Location + setting: I’m sitting outside, at Margot’s house (or as many of you will learn, my adopted little sister’s house) I’m waiting for them to get back from Washington. They’ve been gone for almost a week and (I almost said kinda but no) I really really miss them!

It’s super nice out, I’m listening to my alt-j and my spotify “new hits” playlist times are good.

Update, I am now inside. After spending around 3 hours on this piece, I feel very proud. I hit the mark stylistically and had a few concise statements. I hope this makes sense and now I’m going to work on some homework enjoy…

Our Passions.

So what inspired me to write today? Well, starting off, I actually have time and second I have energy. Now what really inspired me to write Today? Obviously if I’m asking this question nothing from above. Those reasons just happen to make the experience more enjoyable. I was inspired today in my car and in school during Advanced Placement Government.

I was sitting in my AP government class today. It was 3rd hour so about halfway through the day. As usual, I was listening to my teacher, one of my favorites by a mile long shot explain how political polling works. As he talked and talked his speech became monotonous.  Regardless of the fact I thought his class is especially interesting.

I started looking around at his room, which is, let me just explain to you right now, a palace compared to the average classroom. It includes a wall filled to the brim with a myriad of colorful license plates from all corners of the globe, political memorabilia, and even some movie posters carefully pinned down like a family portrait. Only as I shifted my eyes over to the window framing a overcast cloudy sky, did my thoughts begin to diverge from how many people it took to conduct a valid political poll, (it’s only 1500 I paid my teacher some attention).

As I started looking out of the window, as I usually start to do when I’m tired or lacking caffeine, I slipped into a daydream. Today was not the typical; the dream was not centered on after school plans or a cute boy i’d seen the day before. As turned side to side softly in my vibrant red yellow and blue rolling chair, my mind stepped from my seat. It began looking upon the classroom as if no one there knew anything different, the teachers, the lessons and the furious note taking became foreign. I became an outsider. Similar to a young boy from Africa, never knowing anything about higher education but looking into the classroom on this gloomy, overcast day, I wasn’t a student anymore. I was a non biased third party, transcended into the future. In that instance I thought of college. How everyone in my class would sit through so many more lectures and so many more hours of the black and white. The white paper page outlined with black ink or the white screen illuminated with black text. They’ll see it over and over again. This world I was taken to felt so eerily familiar and dangerously comforting.  

As I realized my current place and time, I snapped back to reality. I had an upcoming quiz in the next few minutes so I shifted my head back to the board. Clearing the memory from my mind. I wrote down on my notes, “out of body experience, not in classroom”.

Throughout the day I pushed my thoughts about that college and the perpetual classroom from my head and as I cruised to my friends house, blasting rap music and skipping my track meet. As I confidently edged closer and closer to my friend’s house, with Beyonce’s Diva playing from my back speakers. The sun and blue sky lit my way and as i tend to do I started my deep thinking about passion, drive, what motivates us.

How come I used to be so motivated to run track and now it was like a chore or work? You can brag and feel good about working hard at a job cleaning dishes by citing your work ethic. You could brag about taking your dog out to a sibling citing you helped your parents. Even though these things are not particularly enjoyable by themselves, we do them to impress other people. Just like I do in track. Sure I like looking good on the track. Sure I like feeling refreshed after a run and scoring a new personal best time. Sure I like the occasional laugh with my friends and the “job well done” from the coach. Sure I do it majorly to impress others.

Sports correlate in impressions and so might school, impressing parents with great grades in challenging classes. The need to impress becomes a sphere, surrounding you like a hamster running on it’s wheel there is seemingly no end in sight.

Think of your life as a walk in the amazon rainforest, not a circle reminiscent of a hamster wheel but a series of overlapping paths and lines. At one point, yes the odyssey through the vivacious but mystical jungle will end. Yet, yes the choice to go anywhere you want on the path always rests with you.

So many people fall victim to the cobra of comfort that coils itself around its victim and swallows it into a deep tomb of ignorance. Basically comfort with something in school or in sports as I have been reflecting to is like the cobra in your path. Cobras can be camofaluged with the most innocent of objects such as a tree. Seemingly harmless unless you fail to look closer. A cobra, a trap, pulling down a veil over opportunity.

What keeps you truly alive is in my mind being able to spot the benefits and disadvantages of a situation and not be afraid to change, or follow your passion.

My father always wished he had the guts to follow his passion in music, reminiscing, “I wish I would have stuck with music”. This starkly contrasts to his reality, working at an auto factory.

If you want to try writing like me, start writing what you feel passionate about, even if the words that flow onto your paper end up sounding like a kindergartener's first written story, it’s a start. No matter how long you’ve been diverging from your path to dreams, hobbies or ambitions, it’s never too late to turn around. Starting can be as simple as picking up a paintbrush. Whether the excuse was money, time or resources, there are more opportunities than ever to animate a passion into a tangible, sustainable way of living. You only know if you try.

Now moving more into depth on passions. My definition of a passion is something that you wake up every morning, looking forward to or wake up thinking about. Honestly some may think of a passion as carefree; an activity only stress inducing in the slightest. This isn’t always true. Take running for example, some people have a passion for it because they genuinely enjoy the steady rhythm of the soles of their feet beating beneath them. Yet, taking that passion to the next level requires diligent training and strong dedication.

Living a life that has purpose is a skill. It’s a fine trade such as a master artisan of architecture or a world class surfer, riding the twisting current of a wave that splashes salt water on sunburnt toes. This skill takes effort to develop and even more effort to develop around modern life. Old age is the most common catalyst.

The catalyst to a passion filled life is old age and mostly the security that allows heads filled with grey hair to live off their hard earned taxpayer money. This increases security and therefore allows this generation to step out of their comfort zone.

The system of a developed nation is the most advanced society has ever embraced. Go to school, and do well, and get into a good college, and get a good degree and get a job to pay off those years of college, and then have enough money to support a family. The system embraces one thing and one thing only. I don’t even need to type it, we all know the green eyed monster is almost as common as the green grass in a suburban neighborhood. Money seems to be the driving factor controlling many lives in a century of glitz, glamour and technology.

Although this system is easily open to the most dazzling spectrum of opportunities, it also holds the heaviest weight of responsibility. This weight is often too cumbersome, limiting those opportunities to the people brave enough to see them. They see them by stepping from their path and observing the jungle; a variety of trees, flowers and animals otherwise hidden in peripheral vision.  The cumbersome weight holding many back in everyday life is the pride of millions of Americans today, equality.

Taxes and housing and electric and water and car insurance and gas and grocery costs and utilities and rent and phone bills and student loans and homeowner loans… the list is almost endless. These responsibilities, some promoting equality flow through the jungle as a everlasting river; gently supplying life but just as abruptly drowning you in rushing rapids.

It’s getting late, it’s only a tuesday and I need to snap back to reality and start my homework.

In a nutshell, a synopsis of my idea here is to never be complacent. Never take the journey of life for granted. Having a passion and having the guts to follow it is one of the most challenging things life can offer. Only, surprise surprise, life is that way. Afterall it is a jungle, oozing with temptations, mysteries and hardship.

In my life, I’m starting to realize, my journey is not going to be repeated. It’s only going to happen once. Not in my 30s or not in my 60s. This moment and it’s opportunities are never going to be presented again. School and sports are important to me, not just to impress everyone but to also better myself as an individual. Yet, even though these things are important, they’re general and nothing exquisit.

I feel like I’m trying to mold myself into a diamond with the pressure of a normal 10 pound weight. I believe Schools and Sports do present incredible opportunities only, the real opportunities lie outside of it, in the real world that’s  mixed with a healthy dose of passion. You just need to learn to turn over the next branch and look.

Btw: this is just a draft of my thoughts on paper & a hobby that I want to grow with and learn more about (aka my writing is not mechanically perfect)

Have an amazing day everyone & Peace out butter scout!

Love liv