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delirious-robot · 2 years ago

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I encourage all people who get triggered by me or my posts or messages to block me.

Long story short...

(P.S. I was "triggered" or inspired to write this by an experience of someone close to me who deeply betrayed my trust recently... then blew up in anger at me about it and said a bunch of nasty things to me and twisted my words, so I did the same back! It was the last straw after being used and discarded multiple times after throwing me some breadcrumbs to reel me back in and then lying and cheating behind my back while I naively trusted again... I was often always polite and meek and tolerant and nice and restrained to this person back if they got upset with me and tried to be the "responsible one", trying to fix myself to be “good enough” for them... so instead this time I rejected them back and said exactly what I thought of them and their actions in that moment, after one more nasty “flip flopping waffling” comment sent to me in a text... I guess that’s how they really wanted to leave things...)

I know I'm a good person and don't need to prove myself to someone socially. I'm naturally very cheerful, zen-like and wise, focused and productive, positive, a happy-go-lucky can-do type person that likes to help others and enjoys much about life.

I will never stop encouraging TRUTH.

Take that how you like.

Lots of people have blocked me or ignored me or left me or called me crazy or other bad names because of it.

Go ahead.

Added to say: I will not stand for being treated disrespectfully repeatedly, by a friend or partner.

Momentary blips in a relationship or friendship are pretty easy to handle, that's not what I mean.

And If you feel I've disrespected you in any way, please go ahead and ignore me, block me, unfollow, leave me.

(Actually, better yet, if you are able to - communicate with me respectfully, directly, about it and confront me so that I can have the chance to handle it with you and fix it and take responsibility as needed...)

I try to do the right thing and be considerate with others and believe in using kindness, am wholehearted. Although, like anyone, I'm not perfect and I make mistakes from time to time which I also have to learn and grow from. I absolutely don't like to be the cause of pain and suffering to another, because I know that I don't like that too.

But recognize: I often match the energy of those who interact with me. But I often go out of my way to be super nice to people and friendly and helpful.

I start out with everyone being very positive and treating anyone who wants to know me with kindness, friendliness, good communication and giving anyone the benefit of the doubt.

If you harrass me, misuse or abuse me, try to lead me on with lies, do stuff to hurt me behind my back (which I almost always find out about anyways...) after I've been nice to you and been there for you, or been friendly, but you betray my trust or cross my boundaries, I will eventually block, leave, stop all communication.

I may even bite back and speak out about it if the damage has been great.

Even people with good hearts can only be dragged in the mud beaten and kicked so long before they can't take it anymore.

I'm sorry... sort of, in a way.

You have to be a different kind of caliber of person to be in my inner circle.

Lots in the past who have been close with me, lie to me or act disrespectful with me and then blame me and accuse me of being a bad person, for telling them like it is calling a spade a spade and not putting up with it.

It's just very disappointing, sometimes even heart breaking, depending.

I'm very perceptive.

Literally one for one, every time someone is hyper critical of me and can't handle it with decent communication, I find out later they had something to hide from me that they knew was hurtful or had done something to me... that they then justified in their own minds by calling me a bad person, lying about it and me, or getting upset with me over something which is really nothing, a non issue or invented.

This is a touchy subject for some but one which I've had to pull up my sleeves recently and deal with a few little "fires" in this arena - really not my favorite thing to do however! Sigh.

It is however something which ideally is handled with utmost grace, manners, empathy, compassion, understanding and good affinity with the end goal of clearing things up in a decent manner and the restoration of peace, respect, and/or affinity.

Unfortunately, things did not resolve this way with this most recent person who I'm no longer in contact with and sadly probably won't ever be again. I only say sadly because, most of what we had between us was really great - except towards the end. I first met them when I was 16. I will be 44 this year.

Being perceptive - a sort of "ESP" - That is something I gained early on in life from some very special study and self development. Actually, I’ve always kind of been this way. And I feel things quite deeply. Aesthetics and admiration are my favorites though. Spreading these higher emotions has always been a purpose of mine, depth of thought and awareness and higher intelligence.

Lots approach me not knowing this about me and then get burned (assuming I’m just a dumb ditsy air-headed chick) and then blame me later for the whole thing, whatever it is. It's a blessing and a curse at the same time.

Happens a lot with me.

Which is why, I keep my circle quite small now.

That's okay with me. I've learned how to be happy alone.

I don't "need" anyone, quite frankly.

If I trust you, know that it's a deeper kind of trust, and I'm reeaaallly trusting you. Through lots of hard won experience, I try to trust people from the get go, but it's difficult for me. (<- honestly not talking about anyone specific, just sayin.)

But I'm a tiger (well, actually a lion... no, a liger). Don't mess with me. Thanks.

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theradioghost · 2 years ago

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@just-kent-ing-around

Hi sorry I want to know about the secret whales!??!!? 🥺 WHAT DO YOH MEAN THERES 24 SPECIES?????!

hear that? that's the sound of my final excuse DETONATING

(disclaimer i am not an expert i encourage you to research this yourselves if you find it interesting. pls don't blow up another of my amateur science posts and leave me suffering from notes years later knowing it is still spreading accidental misinformation)

this post is. long. a whale of a post. here is your courtesy readmore. (also i have added embedded alt text IDs to the images in this post but I am unsure how that interacts with readmores so if that is a problem for anyone please let me know)

whales are divided into two groups: the mysticeti or baleen whales, and the odotoceti or toothed whales. the difference between them is, and this may be complicated: baleen whales have baleen and toothed whales have teeth.

so let's dial in on the toothed whales. first we have the Physeteridae. in the modern day this consists only of the sperm whale which is a terrifying animal in its own right (fun fact: another difference between the two whale types are that toothed whales are the ones that echolocate and in theory sperm whale echolocation could be loud enough to kill humans at close range) but my passion for paleontology burdens me with the knowledge that they are simply the last of a long line of very large very carnivorous animals which, to be clear, I adore every single one of. there is also Kogiidae, which is the pygmy sperm whale and dwarf sperm whale, irrelevant to this discussion but very cute.

now, just about everything else in the odontoceti is what we would call a dolphin or porpoise, from orcas to freshwater river dolphins, making up several other groups. HOWEVER. there is one final group of toothed whales. and it is what i call:

the secret whales,

ZIPHIIDAE.

there are at least 24 species of ziphiid whales, aka the beaked whales. this is one third of toothed whales and a quarter of all whale species. i say at least because we just don't fucking know. they're WHALES and we DON'T KNOW.

here's a little tangent: have you ever seen a beluga in person? i don't know that most people understand quite how large belugas are until they see one. belugas are five feet long when they are BORN. as adults they are between 12 and 18 feet long. I can say from experience that it is also hard to understand how big that feels except in person. they are not dolphin sized. neither are ziphiid whales.

CC 2.0, image by Chris Huh

Cuvier's beaked whale here is one of the more common and well known species.

here's another tangent: if you look at lists of newly described species of land animals, you may notice that it has been quite a while since there's been any really new ones that were particularly big. sometimes we realize that what we thought was one species was actually more than one -- for example, the tapanuli orangutan -- but truly new large land animals? you pretty much have to go into the 20th century for any of that. incidentally, here's a saola. it's an incredibly rare, incredibly shy bovid that lives in an isolated region of Vietnam and is probably one of the last large land mammals to become known to global science.

CC 2.0, photo by Bill Robichaud

no one has photographed a saola since 2013 :(

contrary to this, it's pretty well known that we know jack shit about what's in the oceans. there's a lot of stuff in there and we haven't seen most of it. but WHALES? not fish, not squid, not weird squibbly stuff way down in the dark, but WHOLE ENTIRE WHALES?

i call beaked whales "secret whales" for two reasons. one, popular culture is pretty much entirely unaware of their existence. two, even if we all knew that ziphiid whales existed, there's not ... that much more that we even know about them for the most part? like, we can make some general assumptions, especially based on the two or three species that are more common and well known relative to the rest of the group. these facts include that they are very cryptic (shy and avoidant of humans; this is one of my favorite jargon words), maybe live in small groups or alone, they spend their lives in the open ocean, and they eat squids and other cephalopods that they catch by deep diving.

and the thing is, these guys are so weird!!!! only the males have teeth and they use them for jousting so almost all adult males are coated in scars! pretty much the only images of any of them are blurry pictures of their backs barely above the water, paintings/art, and pictures of bones! almost everything we know about them we know from dead ones found on beaches! the cuvier's beaked whale dives deeper and longer than any other mammal. three kilometers deep. 1.8 miles. four hours on one breath.

when i say there are 24 species that's absolutely an estimate. we keep finding new ones. the seven-meter-long Sato's beaked whale or karasu was described in 2019 and had its first definite confirmed sighting last year. in late 2020 some scientists near Mexico thought they'd made the first ever live sighting of a Perrin's beaked whale and then realized that no, this was a WHOLE OTHER NEW BEAKED WHALE. before 2012 there had been exactly three specimens found of the spade-toothed beaked whale, two skulls and a jawbone, meaning no one knew what they looked like and no one immediately realized that a pair which had beached in New Zealand were a totally unique discovery. please note that this 2012 news article says that there are 21 species of beaked whale (it also contains a pic of the deceased whale so click at your own discretion).

anyway, my favorite species of beaked whale is the strap-toothed whale, because I believe they are the most what the fuck of whales. here is a picture of a male strap-toothed whale skull.

CC 4.0, photo by TexaSim.

yes, the teeth keep them from fully opening their mouths. no, that doesn't seem to cause them problems; beaked whales seemingly use suction feeding, so these boys can just slurp up the squid just fine. those spikes on the tips of the teeth are so they can still use them to scratch the hell out of one another.

unfortunately, while it's nearly impossible to tell the population sizes of any of these whales, chemical pollution and oceanic noise pollution seem to be real dangers to them, as well as deep sea fishing and whaling in east asia. one major reason i share these whales with unsuspecting passers-by every chance I get is that if no one knows they exist, no one is trying to protect them.

anyway. now you're burdened with the Forbidden Whale Knowledge. i hope it has added a little bit of wonder to your world.

as a bonus, here is a picture of a True's beaked whale that is one of the rare images to show what these animals really look like in full.

CC 4.0, photo by Roland Edler (and my eternal gratitude to him and his coauthors for making this photo free to use)

someday i'll run out of excuses not to talk about the secret whales and you'll all descend into the same mental spiral that I do every day of my life

#my posts #WHAAAAAAAAAALES

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eri-cheri · 4 years ago

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Now that we have reached the last chapter of the year. It is time to do a 2020 roll call of what I like to call, “State of the Shippers”:

1. IzuOcha. Status: Placated.

-IzuOcha’s could celebrate several cute tidbits throughout the year. Mini moments as they say.

Anime Highlights: The OVA’s came in clutch with moments for shippers all around and IzuOcha is no exception. We got a cute tidbit where Izuku and Ochako bumped into each other and were flustered.

Manga Highlights: Christmas kept on giving to this fandom as the AM doll Izuku gave Ochako made many appearances. A cute fist bump between the two was also exchanged and Mina was right there bouncing with y’all.

Heroes Rising: Izuku super man carried Ochako to safety. And was Angy she was injured. Fans could enjoy the small Lois Lane moment.

Troubling Signs?: Ochako said “I would like to be excluded from this narrative” when it comes to her feelings for Deku. She’s a hero damnit! So if they are in for something, probably won’t be while they are still in school.

II. DabiHawks. Status: Yikes.

- Dabi and Hawk’s very public breakup set this fandom in disarray but also kind of disayay?

Anime Highlights: None yet. This fandom was cruelly cock blocked by Bones. Sorry DabiHawks stans.

Manga Highlights: Where to begin, my goodness. With these fans, I guess the good and the bad is a plus in this homoerotic double agent relationship. We have the notion that Dabi may have known Hawks when they were kids, which may be a positive? Hori sure loves his childhood friends. Other than that. The GIRLS WERE FIGHTIN’. Hawks is now permanently scarred by Dabi and I don’t think it was kinky folks. Tokoyami inserted himself in the middle to White Knight Hawks, Dabi broke up with him via YT expose and overall, shippers could anguish in the absolute MESS that this ship endured this year. But I’m sure that’s part of the appeal. So...yay?

Heroes Rising: They were both in it.

Troubling Signs?: The entire relationship is a troubling sign which again, is part of the appeal. Maybe Hawks will cuddle up with Dabi’s father after the war. That’s troubling! Speaking of...

III. EndHawks. Status: Yearning and Burning.

-If there’s one thing Endeavor couldn’t stop worrying about, it was his hot (in more ways than one) new side piece who probably should have looked at the fine print when signing a contract to be a recurring guest star on “Keeping up with the Todoroki’s”.

Anime Highlights: A fateful meeting finally in high definition for all our eyes to see! Hawks’s unwavering support of his biggest hero was endearing to watch and their shenanigans together spurred the anime onlies to finally jump on the biggest May-December ship in the series.

Manga Highlights: Endeavor’s admiration and concern for Hawks seeped through the pages as we entered our most exciting arc in the manga yet. Fate split these two up yet entwined their downfall together. And that Fate’s name was Dabi...or should I say ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️ or should I just say Touya!

Heroes Rising: “Don’t bite my head off, Endeavor.” Geez, can you flirt a little less loud Hawks?

Troubling Signs?: They say never meet your heroes and Hawks is in for a rude awakening. We shall see just how deep his admiration runs or if Endeavor’s past will split our dynamic duo up for good.

IV: TodoDeku. Status: “Precious”

-Shoto’s “Midoriya is in Danger” radar was highlighted in both manga and anime. 4th User’s quirk, who?

Anime Highlights: “Midoriya hasn’t returned yet.” “Where’s Midoriya?” “Midoriya! Grab my hand!” “Have some of my Soba Midoriya.” Shoto gets it. His emotional support friend is a danger magnet. TodoDeku’s also enjoyed tiny tidbits in the OVA such as a hand grabbing scene. Gotta hold tight to those crumbs.

Manga Highlights: Two Words. “Precious Friend.” Deku comes in w/o arms or legs fighting for Shoto and Shoto’s honor. These two spent the entire year worried sick about each other, and going against all odds to save each other. Precious Friends indeed. TDDK fans ate.

Heroes Rising: Shoto kicks some dog ass and then faints thinking of Deku (and Bakugo but shh. Let the shippers rejoice.) On the bright side, we have a 3rd movie coming featuring “The Three Musketeers” so shippers of TdDk can HOLD TIGHT to what’s to come.

Troubling Signs?: Shoto still doesn’t know about OFA and he’s gonna have LOTS of questions after this arc. Will Deku finally tell him? If not, it could make or break the ship.

V. TodoBaku. Status: “Shining through the city with a little funk and soul.”

-Who knew the greatest comedy duo we needed was Shoto and his hot headed “friend” or not friend? It still remains unclear to Shoto. Regardless, these two had a fun year.

Anime Highlights: “I wanna see your cute face”, disco dancing, and more fun in the provisional license training. Plus the OVA added some cute moments between the two such as Bakugo staying behind to save Todoroki during a dangerous excercise and his adorable plan neatly animated for us. I’d say TodoBaku’s really were resurgent and energized this year!

Manga Highlights: Shoto, that is not how you properly Catch a Kacchan, I’m sorry. But at least you did it you mad lad. As with Deku, Shoto spent the year worried sick about Bakugo. While the anime let us have our fun, these two were suffering in the manga.

Heroes Rising: Again, Shoto put a dog down and then fainted with Bakugo on his mind (and Deku but we ignore that. Shush.) TodoBaku’s have the 3rd movie to look forward to which is bound to have some amazing content!

Troubling Signs?: They have a lot of trauma to deal with. And a lot of Deku to worry about. I also imagine Shoto will be hurt about being left out of the OFA secret. We shall see what 2021 has to offer.

VI. KiriMina. Status: Unbreakable.

-Changing your hairstyle to match the gal who inspired you in middle school? Sorry y’all but if Mina were a guy, I’d say that’s gay af.

Anime Highlights: We got that backstory Bois. Red Riot’s origin might as well make him be called Pink Riot. Again with Hori and the childhood friends though I wouldn’t exactly call them friends. They just went to the same middle school but Kirishima was highly influenced by Mina’s Chivalrous spirit! A ship is born!

Manga Highlights: The influence is mutual! Mina creates a move based on Kirishima’s unbreakable and we all let out a collective “awwww”. Also in the war arc, we got Kirishima making sure Mina’s chivalrous spirit shines through right into Gigantomachia’s mouth! KiriMina may just be the unsung MVP’s of this arc.

Heroes Rising: They were in it.

Troubling Signs?: I can’t think of a single one. KiriMina’s can enjoy a peaceful sailing.

VII: KiriBaku. Status: Crumb Collectors.

-2020 was an uneventful year for KiriBaku but Bones made sure there were crumbs aplenty! Thank God for OVA’s!

Anime Highlights: KiriBaku’s did thrive in one episode! Kirishima reflects on the sludge incident and evolves his quirk based on inspiring words from Bakugo! Hooray! KiriBaku’s can thrive in their blossoming friendship. The OVA also has Kirishima (and Kaminari but shh) once again following Bakugo’s lead when it comes to the training excercise. How can you not? He’s so manly!

Manga Highlights: Not gonna lie. There is nothing much here this year. I did find a teeny tiny flake in Aizawa’s flashback. Kirishima and Bakugo are sitting next to each other. Oh! And at the hot pot gathering, Bakugo sits next to Kirishima! Eat your crumbs KiriBaku’s! There’s always next year!

Heroes Rising: Kirishima hangs with a lazy Bakugo and delivers the most hilarious line in the whole movie. “Silly Bakugo, there won’t be villains here!” Hahah... Silly Bakugo. Oh you~ KiriBaku’s can inhale the fact that those two sure love to hover around each other!

Troubling Signs?: With great crumbs come little responsiblity. No trouble if there’s no content! 🤔

VIII: KamiJirou. Status: Singing their hearts out 🎶

-If there’s any ship that’s coming close to canonization, I think this is it, folks! “Think of the person most important to you!” Can’t argue with Midnight!

Anime Highlights: Kaminari does non stop encouraging of Jirou and her hobbies! He works super hard to learn guitar for her sake! We love a king who can encourage his queen!

Manga Highlights: Kaminari thinks of the most important person to him and surprise! It’s Jirou! All of the feels can commence.

Heroes Rising: They were in it!

Troubling Signs?: Kaminari does love his women. And men. Kaminari overall is a huge flirt. But Jirou appears to have his heart strings. ❤️

IX: BakuDeku. Status: Rising. 👑

-Alternative Statuses include Winning, Thriving, Soaring. It’s just been non stop content this year. 2020 is truly the year for BakuDeku. The shippers can rejoice.

Anime Highlights: Three words. Be. My. Cane. The OVA’s helped fan the flames of the BkDk hearts with a surprise! Deku tops! Not only that, we got a lovely shoulder tap of encouragement in the canon material. While in season 4, Deku’s primary focus was Eri. Bakugo and Deku still had their moments to be hella gay.

Manga Highlights: Where do I even begin? I guess we’ll just cut to the chase with Bakugo Katsuki: Rising. We finally saw Bakugo’s true feelings manifest for Deku and if getting stabbed for him isn’t the ultimate showing of love, then idk what is. BakuDeku’s rounded out the year with the Volume 29 cover AND the volume 29 cover drafts to eat at our heart strings. Overall, their relationship got the spotlight in the manga this year. And we’re bound to start 2021 with a dramatic confrontation. Hand holding seems to be the key with these two and it didn’t stop with Heroes Rising...speaking of.

Heroes Rising: The entire movie. Like....yeah. That’s it. [OP, your bias is showing. You have to be SPECIFIC.] {But random criticizer in my head, if I lay out the entire plot of the movie, my post will be too long} [OP....] UGHHHH Okay okay. The POPSICLE MELTING. THE HAND HOLDING. THE CHARACTER DESIGNS OF WHAT MIGHT AS WELL BE THEIR LOVE CHILDREN. Did I mention? “It’s fine if it’s you?” CAUSE YEAH. Oh and All Might randomly officiating their wedding in their heads like idk. Isn’t it just simpler if I say the whole movie??!

Troubling Signs?: Well these two’s relationship is extremely delicate and while it has non stop soared this year, Deku might not take too kindly to Bakugo almost dying for him. Will they stop pushing each other away? Time will tell.

That’s all for this year folks! Happy Shipping and good luck to everyone next year!

#my hero academia #bnha spoilers #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #bakudeku #izuocha #tododeku #todobaku #DabiHawks #endhawks #KiriBaku #kamijirou #kirimina

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capesandshapes · 4 years ago

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Didn't You Know? (Post Reveal/Pre Relationship)

Summary:

Marinette is sick and realizes that Adrien has a secret to tell her.

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The music was loud.

Far too loud.

But she knew at the same time that she was drunk, far too drunk; so that might have played a part in it. Adrien sitting at the bar with girls surrounding him—draped on his shoulders and with hands on his knees— might have also played a part in it. Because she’s tired, and sick, and lonely; and he’s there like he always is, waiting to take her home, waiting to take care of her because he feels like it’s his duty.

Because he’s Chat Noir and she’s Ladybug, and he promised one day however many years ago that he would always take care of her. Now she has to live with that. Now she has to live with wanting him, but still not fucking saying it.

And just when her night seems like it can’t get worse, some guy dumps a pint of whiskey on the front of her dress and makes to clean it up, his napkin at the ready to blot it like this totally isn’t some pre-planned thing—

“Oof,” a familiar voice says beside her, placing his sweatshirt around her shoulders before she can even protest and pushing the hands away before the man can try to ‘help’. “Thank you for that, but she’s already taken care of, I think I’m gonna take her home.”

And immediately the guy, some big burly man likely in his thirties, is flinging accusations and acting like he knows everything. “And who are you to do that?” Like he wasn’t just trying to do something awful.

“I’m her husband,” Adrien says, flashing a black and green ring while throwing a cheeky smile over his shoulder as he pulled the two edges of his sweatshirt a little bit closer around her. “Happily married,” he mutters, his eyes softening as they landed on hers and he saw her pull the sweatshirt on to really sell the statement. He leaned forward to zip it up, throwing the man another smile, this one verging on a warning as he placed his hand on Marinette’s shoulder.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize,” the man began, blinking as Adrien made to herd her away.

“It’s fine,” Adrien said, his arm around her shoulders and his eyes staying firmly on her. “She’s going home.” In a stage whisper, he added, “you’re sick, aren’t you sweetheart?”

Which was only half because of the other man and half because she actually was sick, and he wanted an answer.

She had been wondering how long she could keep it from him that night, how long she could last dancing with Alya and accepting only water. Now that he knew who she was, Adrien had a way of seeing through all of her other disguises too. Like her telling herself that she wasn’t sick and trying to act like she wasn’t sick.

Even though a small part of her was afraid she might have caught the flu or been suffering from some sign of overwork…

“I’m going to get your coat,” he said, guiding her near the door.

“Are you also going to go and tell more people that we’re married?” She asked wearily, swaying on her feet.

He laughed, leaving a small kiss on her forehead that almost made her cross her eyes. “I tell everyone I’m married; it keeps them from hitting on me and technically I am…” He raised his hand, waggling his eyebrows at her, “married to the job,” he joked. “I’m taken in more ways than one.”

She wished she didn’t laugh, if only because it encouraged that type of thing. As his friend, she shouldn’t have been happy that he was sitting in clubs with his miraculous on his ring finger, turning away girls who could have been something to him. As his friend, she shouldn’t have raised the sleeve of his sweatshirt to her nose as he walked away, smelling the soft cologne that he’s taken to wearing instead of the Agreste branded stuff.

She really sucked at this whole being his friend thing. More so now than ever.

He reappeared with her jacket, her housekeys in his hand. He didn’t, of course, make any moves to replace the sweatshirt around her shoulders, just another addition to the list of many things that would always make her wonder about where she actually stood with him.

Alya always insisted that he liked her and was just waiting for the right time to say anything, but two years had passed since they’d revealed their identities and Marinette had started to doubt that. If it was more than a childhood crush, he would have told her by now.

Then again, she thought as she watched him wait for their taxi, she hadn’t told him.

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Adrien unlocked her door and hauled her stuff inside, Marinette following closely behind. He reached around her once she was safely inside, closing the door and locking it.

“I’ll stay on the couch tonight in case you need anything,” he informed her. Adrien was often overbearing when she was sick, a trait that he’d picked up from her once she learned that no one was really around to care for him when the boy was sick. It almost became tradition for the man to sleep in her living room whenever she was ill, another reason why she didn’t want him to know.

It was almost painful how much he cared.

That was the problem with the two of them, someday he would get a girlfriend or she would have another boyfriend, and they would tell him how weird this was, that he cared way too much for the young woman and she cared too far beyond reason for him as well. Then it would end.

She didn’t want it to end.

She wanted a thousand different things in her life, like to start her own fashion line and see the world, but she didn’t want Adrien to leave her.

She was in love with Chat Noir. How long? She couldn’t tell you. Before the reveal, probably. Before she knew that he shared those green eyes with the other guy who made her chest feel heavy and her breathing weak.

“You should shower,” Adrien said. “Are you hungry? We didn’t go out to eat this time.”

“I had a microwave meal.”

“You didn’t eat then,” Adrien proclaimed, marching into her kitchen. Ever since he learned how to cook one summer at Nino’s grandparents, he was a storm in the kitchen. He made food for her whenever he could, always watching her closely for her reaction to that first bite. It reminded her of her father in a way, that excitement to watch her experience new things and know that he was responsible.

She sighed, lumbering into the kitchen on exhausted legs and wrapping her arms around his back, burying her face into it and murmuring her thanks. “I love you,” she mumbled, such a common phrase from her that it always just slipped out.

“I love you too,” he stated, his hands wrapping around hers and giving a reassuring squeeze. “You can put on a new one of my sweatshirts when you get out of the shower,” he said, because eventually she had started a whole collection of them without thinking about it.

She nodded, bending over to remove her high heels before traveling further into the apartment. He was already at her feet by the time she’d managed to overcome dizziness and bend over, beginning the process of unbuckling her heels and tossing them aside.

She blinked at him, feeling his soft blond hair brush against her leg and immediately giving into the urge to touch it. Her hand wove through the back of his hair and he pressed a small kiss to her leg as he finished the last shoe, tossing them aside. “There,” he said, smiling up at her.

She really hoped he thought she was red from the fever.

Freed from her shoes, she felt the world blink in and out as she stumbled to her bathroom, turning the shower on cold to combat her fever despite her body’s pleas not to. She practically fell into the shower and she knew that he heard, rushing to the door as quick as possible. “I’m fine,” she called before he could so much as knock, blinking at the mixture of shampoos and soaps before her. When would she finally make room for Adrien to have his own shelf? She shook her head, tempted as always to see if there was some magic in his fifty-dollar shampoo, but settling for her strawberry-scented one instead. Adrien had teased her the last time she’d used anything on his recommendation.

Finally clean, she emerged from the bathroom, walking the short distance in her towel before ending up in her room. “It’s almost done,” Adrien said from the kitchen as she pulled on a pair of joggers and one of his old sweatshirts, pulling her hair into a sad attempt of a bun.

Deeming herself close enough to presentable, she moved back into the kitchen, steadying herself on the wall when he noticed her and his face broke into a smile.

“You didn’t have any chicken stock, so I made leek soup,” he said, gesturing to the bowls, one for her, one for him.

She nodded, grabbing the bowl and moving to the living room, scooting too close into his side when he settled on the couch beside her, flicking on the tv. He threw on the show they’d been watching recently, a bad soap opera about werewolves that had the sets falling apart around them. She let out the softest yawn when the theme music began, sinking further and further into him until he finally finished his food, placing his arm around her.

“When is she finally going to realize that he’s in love with her,” she grumbled. “I mean, they’re dating, aren’t they?”

“I don’t know,” Adrien said, pulling the empty bowl from her lap and pulling her on top of him, the two laying together as the show continued to play. His eyebrows furrowed, concern for the characters showing on his face, “I mean, she has stuff at his place and everything.”

That didn’t mean anything, Marinette had things at Adrien’s place. She had more than one drawer, a whole closet even. “I mean, he said he’s in love with her, right?”

“Yeah,” Adrien agreed. “And they go practically everywhere together, people invite them as a couple.”

“And he sends her all these texts every day of things that she’s into!” Marinette complained. “I don’t know much about love, but that seems like it’s part of it.”

“Mhm,” Adrien agreed, pressing his lips to the corner of her mouth. “Thank you for the recipes the other day, by the way.”

“No problem—” she began, and then stopped, her eyes sliding over to him. He still watched the tv with the same expression, not even giving what he’d done a second thought.

“I think he’s finally about to say it,” Adrien stated with a frown. “It’s taken long enough.”

But Marinette couldn’t focus on the show at all. All she could do was stare at him. “You almost kissed me,” she marveled.

He cast her a questioning look, looking over at her just slightly before turning back to the tv. “Do you want me to fully kiss you, or?”

Marinette straightened, using her forearms to jerk back from him, her eyes wide.

He blinked, turning around to look at her, his eyebrows furrowed. “Marinette?”

“You kissed me,” she repeated, deciding at the corner was good enough and reaching to touch her mouth with her hand almost absentmindedly, tumbling against his chest in the process.

“Yes?” He said, peeling her off him to look him in the eyes. “I mean, that’s what people do when they’re dating—”

Her mouth fell open.

“Marinette..?”

“We’re dating?!” She yelled, her eyes wild.

He immediately flattened against the couch, looking almost as shocked at the statement as she was. “Marinette, I have stuff at your apartment, you have stuff at mine. I cook for you, we have shows. We watched all of Naruto together. You tell me you love me every day, and I say it back.”

“But that’s—We—” She floundered, almost falling off the couch.

Adrien’s hand caught her. “Marinette, be careful, you have a fever—”

“How long?” She asked, slumping into his hand. “We haven’t even kissed—”

“To be fair, we have kissed plenty of times before and I just assumed—”

“How. Long.” She repeated, and she could see the pure terror grow in his eyes.

“Two weeks?” He said, quickly explaining, “I mean, I sent you that long text about how much I liked you and you sent me back that you would be lucky to be my girlfriend, any girl would—”

She gasped, almost falling backward this time before his hands plastered themselves to the small of her back, the young man sitting up beneath her.

“Marinette?!”

“You’re my boyfriend,” she said loudly. “Oh my god, you’re my boyfriend.”

“Is that a bad thing?” He frowned.

“But you tell people that you’re married—”

“As a private joke,” he corrected. “I also tell people that I’m taken, not as a joke.” His hands pulled back from her, his voice almost unsure as he asked, “do you not want to be?”

“Of course, I want to be,” she squeaked. “I mean, that’s like asking someone if they want to be rich, or have a room full of puppies, or cure cancer—”

The corner of his mouth rose in a smirk.

“It’s just that I didn’t know,” she finished. “I haven’t even kissed you. And now I’m sick and I have this boyfriend here to take care of me, and he’s going to sleep on the couch…” Marinette struggled to list everything else wrong.

Adrien didn’t give her a chance.

No, instead he grabbed the side of her face and pulled her down, pressing his lips against hers in a firm, inarguable kiss.

“Well, I don’t have to sleep on the couch…” he said as he pulled away.

#lovesquare #post reveal pre relationship #marinette dupain cheng #adrien ageste #ladybug #chat noir #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #miraculous fanfiction #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #this isn't a fill this is for me #this is from my wips #my fanfic

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olderthannetfic · 3 years ago

Note

[Is the end nigh anon]

I never actually got around to trying discord until recently, mostly because i had a feeling it wouldnt work for me. But then i saw that post of yours about the emergence of ao3 and went to #8(/#9 im sorry)’s blog and found all these guides to set up your own site, encouraging you to learn html and lean into the small web. And ive started trying to learn, but in the meantime i figured id give discord a try as well, since that seems pretty similar to the closed groups of LJ and ye ol internet even before.

And boy oh boy is it not for me. Maybe i just stumbled upon the wrong places but… theres always this “in” feel to them, which of course there would be, theyre basically huge whatsapp groupchats, but with people i dont know. I barely have the energy to be active on groupchats with friends i know and love and know irl and have a history with, i definitely cant be active enough to remain “in the know” in a discord server. This duscussion thread format requires so much energy, and im more of a lurker. I send asks and add onto my reblogs sometimes and stuff like that, but definitely am not in any circles where fandom is conducted privately and nor would i have the energy to be.

Having to use that kind of format as main fandom-format would take it out of me so badly… i understand that with users being the products and the constant exposure, it does seem natural to seek out more closed private places. But i honestly feel discord is not the place for it, at least to me. Everything moves way too fast and the cliques are the last nail for me. If i was interested in social hierarchy i wouldve stayed on instagram. The fact that tumblr is as anonymous as you want it to be and has no follower/likes chasing is the main reason why i love it (besides the familiarity and everything). I understand this is not everyone’s experience, but my dash is curated to death, i never see any bullshit, so to me this space does feel intimate and cozy as well (i guess without chatrooms, but i dont really feel that loss) and im a strong beliver in blocking.

I feel like discord is too careless and borne of modern understanding of internet social spaces, if that makes sense. I feel like closed, more private formats of interacting with fandom would also require more “care”? For example, having your own site, maintaining it, modifing it, lovingly adding to the content, the layout, eveything, theres this “tending to” vibe, which i feel encourages bringing in this vibe into fandom interactions themselves, as opposed to the fast, impossible to catch up with, catty or careless vibe of discord. Yea, the internet goes at breakneck speed and were just along for the ride, but at least in a public space like tumblr that feels manageable.

I do think that to thrive fandom requires being able to take a break without having to suffer the cost of being left behind. And sure, i guess that would work if your server is with people youre friends with, but how often does that happen and how lucky would you have to be.

Feel free to take any and all of my run on sentances as questions, this ended up being ranty.

I don't think it's entirely luck, but yes, making discord not be like what you describe does require a very particular kind of group and management.

The biggest thing I've seen, historically, in platform changes is that the people who make spaces or who are the sparkly, obvious people other people trail behind are fine. They go make a new place.

But the rest of the population may or may not be able to follow. It's not always exclusion from a private discord or anything. Often, it's more like the LJ-->Tumblr move. A lot of people were left behind because it's simply too visual here.

Different formats appeal to different types. I've come to enjoy tumblr, but it was quite unpleasant at first.

One reality of fandom is that there is always social hierarchy. People have asked me "Why do you reblog so-and-so so much???" and the answer is generally two things: 1. that person literally sends me their posts (which requires a certain level of bravery or chutzpah) and/or 2. I know them (from cons, from LJ in 2005, from them sending me private chat messages a lot, from them being highly visibly active like I am over a long period of time, etc.). The times we think there isn't social hierarchy are when either we are the one in the clique or those invisible ties between other users are not perceptible.

But scratch the surface--by having to move platforms, for example--and all kinds of social connections and fault lines will show.

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lifewithdavefarts · 3 years ago

Photo

DaveFarts - Episode 1 “FartsApp” [Episode List] Since he’s a gassy nerd, Dave teases his friend Tim via WhatsApp by sending him a series of short videos of him farting.

FartsApp

Being gay with a fart fetish is really hard sometimes.

For me at least.

While the world is definitely getting more open-minded about homosexuality, I can’t really force it to accept this weird fetish (to be honest, all fetishes are kinda treated like taboos, regardless of the sexuality involved). I had to settle for YouTube videos or websites devoted to this whole fart-sniffing thing; not that I’m complaining: it was good to discover that so many people actually had this fetish.

Cue Dave. Well, sort of, actually. He doesn’t have a fart fetish and he’s not even gay. Dave has been my best friend since forever. Unlike me, however, he’s straight and is currently dating some (lucky) girl.

Around my age, he’s like a brother to me, and we’re actually well-known because of how much time we always spend with each other.

Dave is a great guy, a great friend, very open-minded and, dare to say it, actually quite hot.

Not surprisingly, being the brother I never had, he’s the first friend I came out to, the only one who knows about my homosexuality. Actually, it’s not like I told him… he found out on his own, in the worst possible way (for me).

During one of our nerdy game-nights, being “that one gassy friend”, Dave started to rip -as usual- tons of farts, fueled by some junk food, until he ripped one directly in my face (and boy it was amazing…). Everything went downhill from there… kinda. For some reason or another… he just accepted all at once not only my homosexuality, but also the fact that I found face-farting… hot. He just laughed about it and honestly gave me some encouraging words about my peculiar situation, proving that he’s indeed the best friend ever. Oh… and he also literally farted for me after that, in my face, letting me sniff and enjoy his amazing rips; he can also fart on command apparently: got a taste of his talent that same night.

That one, surreal night.

I still can’t believe it happened.

Felt like a confused dream. Like one of those nights where you drink too much so you don’t clearly remember what happened. But it was all true.

Dave, my best friend, was perfectly fine with me, my fetish, and all this weird stuff.

Yes: I know how lucky I am.

It’s been 4 months since he found out.

And, believe it or not, I’m getting face-farted so often that I’m almost forgetting how beautiful it feels.

Seriously: Dave simply accepted it like I’m living in someone’s crazy fetish dream and, when we’re alone, he just casually farts in my face (without me asking for it). Not always, but very often.

Surprisingly enough, despite the fact that my nose spends a lot of time brushing against his denim-covered butt, our friendship didn’t change at all though: we still hang out with the rest of our friends and generally spend a lot of time together.

Sometimes I’m so in disbelief about how easy-going he’s been with me, that I randomly ask him “You sure you’re OK with… this?” (I say, gesturing all of me), but he just smiles or rolls his eyes annoyed, tired of hearing the same question over and over again. What can I say? He’s perfectly comfortable with his own sexuality I guess, so he doesn’t have any problem with my fetish.

Sometimes though -sorry I say this- I kinda wish he did…

No, I’m definitely not complaining. That’s the best possible scenario for me, but sometimes he can get a bit too… inopportune. Dave is not really a prankster, but he loves teasing his friends, just for fun, including me.

I was in the middle of an important exam once, one of these pop-quiz thingies that make zero sense, and I felt my phone vibrate. I checked my FB private messages and all I saw was this YouTube link sent by Dave. Since I’m a fool apparently, I clicked on it, and one of those popular YouTube fart videos popped up and played, one with really loud farts. The first fart actually echoed in the room and other students glared at me: never felt so embarrassed (not including the night Dave found out about my fetish).

“Dude! Stop sending me this stuff!” I texted him. “I’m in the middle of an exam here!”

I scolded him for this, but the truth is that I couldn’t ask for a friend more open-minded than him.

The fact that he teases him with fart videos like he teases our heterosexual friends with those “shock” porn pics made me feel more… accepted.

But still… I was in the middle of an important exam so he had to stop.

And he obviously didn’t.

He sent me like 10 other links, just to annoy the sh%t out of me.

I mocked him by texting something like “Those videos are quite hard to find. Guess you’re gay too then!” but he would reply with “I had a great teacher!” and send me one of my awkward photos from Facebook.

Other times, since our friendship didn’t change a bit, he even made random references to my homosexuality or even my fart fetish when messaging me to make plans for the night (especially during the weekend). This mostly happens on WhatsApp:

Dave: “Dude, you have to come with us. Stop being a whiny little bi*ch and get up from that couch!”

Tim: “Sorry, man. I don’t think I’ll be joining you tonight…”

Dave: “You know what? If you don’t come with us… you’re gay!”

Dave: “Sorry, I mean… if you don’t come with us, you’re a fuc*ing heterosexual!

Dave: "U ride pussy, don’t you? Fuc*ing straight people!”

He was obviously being sarcastic, but I just loved how he adapted his… uhm… “humor” to my situation.

One time, however, things got a bit… hotter for me…

Dave: “Dude, come over. We have a lot to study…”

Tim: “Sorry, really can’t today. Aren’t you with Dana right now anyway?”

Dave: “I need somebody to focus with, not focus on. You know me and Dana always end up in bed after like 20 minutes.”

Dave: “It’s awesome but this stuff ain’t gonna study itself…”

Yep. Dave and his girlfriend Dana apparently had a very active sex life.

Glad he was getting laid. And Dana was pretty cool to be honest.

Tim: “Dave, sorry. Maybe tomorrow, k?”

Dave: “Dude! Come on! I’m farting like crazy today!”

Did… did he just try to “bribe” me using his farting abilities?

Dave: “Seriously. I just ripped one that was like 10 seconds long. What a waste of farts!”

Tim: “Dave… are you crazy?”

Took a couple of minutes to reply to that one, and then I got two messages at once.

Dave: “Oh yessss, Tim, crazy for youuuuuu!” he wrote, with a heart emoticon at the end (again, he’s a sassy bi*ch as usual).

I then saw that WhatsApp was loading a video sent by him, an actual video, not a link.

It was Dave, a smirk drawn on his face while staring at the camera. He was wearing a simple black shirt. The view soon moved and I saw his slightly sagging-butt in jeans sitting on a wooden chair, and then heard this big fart echoing in his living room (he was alone), rumbling loudly and hard on the wooden surface. He even turned the camera to his face while he was forcing the “classic”-sounding fart out, making funny facial expressions; indeed, the fart lasted almost 10 seconds, and I obviously loved that: biggest farts I’ve ever heard from him in awhile! It was like watching those funny fartvines on… well… Vine, but having my best friend as the funny/hot farter this time.

Dave: “Hope that convinced you…” he then texted.

I was kinda… “offended” by that last message.

I mean, yeah, I seriously wanted to be there, but I always love spending time with Dave, farts or not (that’s why we’ve been friends since… forever).

Tim: “Are you seriously using farts to buy my friendship? It’s not like I don’t want to study with you. I just can’t today!”

Was that too harsh? Should I have added a smiley face at the end?

Only thing I was sure of, is that I never thought that a sentence like that would even make sense someday.

And I was still bewildered by how Dave was so comfortable with the fact that I loved farts.

Tim: “You don’t need farts to convince me, Dave. More like… you’re making me suffer!” I joked, finally breaking the ice myself with a reference to my embarrassing fetish, proving that I indeed wanted to be there with him, enjoying those farts.

Another couple of minutes passed.

Was he making another…?

Dave: “I know you’re suffering, Tim. Don’t worry. That’s why I’m sending you this.”

Oh boy, another video. Should I play it? Was he aware that I was getting a boner from all of this?

I literally pitched a tent in my pants.

There… it’s Dave again, this time sitting on the couch. The video started with his face winking at the camera with a sly smile; the camera then moved between his legs and slowly panned towards his butt in loose jeans (he probably put his legs on the small table in front of his couch, to make his butt more visible). Now I had a rather unique (and hot -for me) view of both his butt (and part of his crotch) in jeans and his face. He grinned wildly and the fart began, ripped right in front of the phone. The sound and the views were perfect; Dave moved the camera towards his butt as the fart kept going strong, sounding like a deep trumpet; I could see the detailed blue fabric of his jeans as the funny sounds continued. What a lucky phone!

It lasted around 8 seconds and it was simply the hotness.

The video ended with Dave laughing at the camera and all went pitch black.

Tim: “You’re insane, Dave!” I joked again, enjoying how crazy he was about this. And for me I guess.

But I had to tell him.

Tim: “Dave, you do know that all of this gave me a… well…”

But as I was halfheartedly writing the second part of the message, Dave wrote more stuff.

Dave: “Then go beat your meat! I can’t do everything for you, Tim.”

Dave: “And please don’t act like this is some kind of big deal…

Dave: "Wow, Tim got a boner! How impressive!”

Dave: “Let’s all bow to Tim, the mighty guy whose penis can turn bigger!”

Dave: “Behold, the Great Tim! The guy who once had a boner and had to tell everyone!”

Further proof that Dave was being the best friend ever.

He was clearly being sarcastic; he was joking. That was his way of telling me “Nah bro, it’s all good”. And I was kinda surprised that he was so… chill about this stuff. I literally had a boner because of him and he just… didn’t care. As I said, he’s very open minded and perfectly comfortable with his own sexuality, so he didn’t have the irrational fear of “turning gay” when doing this stuff with and for me. I also appreciated that he trusted me with those funny, but otherwise embarrassing videos.

After one or two minutes, I’ve received one big audio file and I just knew what I was going to get when I clicked the triangular-shaped button to play them.

I heard Dave singing my name like he was some kind of serial killer trying to find me.

Dave: “Tim… come here…”

I then heard a series of muffled noises, as if the camera was being put under something, and it was clear what: I in fact then heard the loud, audio-glitching sound of one big fart that lasted around four seconds.

Dave: “He’s waiting for you…” he sung again in that creepy tone of voice.

Another fart, just as big as the first one.

He was on fire that day!

Now I was both laughing like an idiot and having the biggest boner.

Tim: “Dude, you’re on fire! But… to be honest, that was kinda gay…” I chuckled.

Dave: “Says the guy who gets a boner when he hears a fart. You fuc*ing hypocrite.”

He then sent yet another audio file, with him singing that meme-song “I’m gay, gay, gay, I love long big c*cks”, but slightly changing the lyrics. He even put a karaoke version of it on his computer while recording the audio file.

Dave: “You are gay, gay gay, you love long big farts. ‘cuz you’re supah-super gay, and you love big…”

Fittingly enough, a huge fart from my best friend took over the last part of the song. Loud as usual, sounding like a deep chainsaw. I could just imagine how beautiful that was. But the best part was probably the fact that he was definitely farting for me. I know, not your usual “hot sexy” scenario… more like a “sweet” one, in a very twisted way of course.

I wasn’t obviously offended by that “gay song”, since I knew that Dave was just being silly as usual and his mocking words were definitely not mean-spirited.

Tim: “Aren’t you supposed to be studying right now?” I asked.

Dave: “I don’t know, aren’t you supposed to be here right now?”

Tim: “Dude, seriously. Thank you! But I’m serious… I really can’t today.”

Dave: “Alright… alright… cya tonight faggot…” he wrote, with a heart-shaped emoticon at the end.

I just rolled my eyes and chuckled a bit, then drove my attention to my own books.

This was going to be a long afternoon. But after only one minute of silence, my phone vibrated wildly: it was Dave and he was calling me. Very unusual in that moment.

“Uhm… Dave? Hello?” I picked up.

I was greeted by a series of “Dude, sorry!” and I was really confused.

“Dave… what?”

It was just Dave being adorkable I guess.

“Dude, sorry about that 'faggot'… that was bit too much, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

I laughed in disbelief. “Bro, it’s OK. I’m not offended. I know you didn’t want to insult me or anything…”

“No, Tim. That one word is not a joke and I shouldn’t have used it, sorry.”

I was just… wow. Dave went from “dominant friendly farter” to “adorable/awkward confused puppy” in mere seconds. Further proof that I was the luckiest guy alive (fetish or not): Dave cared so much for me that he even apologized for the “f-word”, which admittedly is a very bad word for a guy like me. But this time it was coming from Dave, my best friend, a guy who cares so much about me that he would even “censor” his language just to avoid unfortunate implications.

Ironically enough, the roles were switched, and he was the one saying a rapid-fire series of “sorry!” this time.

“Dave, quit with the apologizing. You’re the best.” I chuckled. “We’re bros, that’s what we do: we insult each other!”

“Alright… you sure? Not going to use that word ever again though.”

“Dave… it’s OK. You’re the best.”

“OK… OK. See you tonight. Take care.”

And he hang up.

He just wanted to make sure that he didn’t accidentally offend me by calling me a “fag”.

I would have been, if it wasn’t coming from Dave.

But then again, he also said that he was going to kick in the face whoever dared to insult me.

And he said that before he found out the truth about me: he’s always been quite protective.

“Oh come on!” I shouted, almost annoyed, merely five minutes later, when I heard the phone vibrate one more time.

It was Dave. Again.

He sent another video.

I tried to scoff at it but I was obviously loving all of this instead.

He was lying on the couch, the camera focusing on his butt in jeans. I could see both his face and butt, at the same time. It was like he filmed the video imagining my POV when he farted in my face, and I absolutely enjoyed that.

“Alright, Tim… Sorry for calling you a faggot.” he spoke in a “comically” serious voice. He truly was “sorry”, but it was clear that he was trying not to laugh. “I’m really, really sorry, believe me.”

Keeping a straight face, he ripped an incredibly loud, deep fart at the camera. He didn’t bat an eye, blink or smile. He eventually lost it towards the end of that 6-seconds long blast. He chuckled a bit and then turned “serious” again.

“That was a sad fart… we’re both sorry.”

He then closed his eyes and made a funny face, signing in relief as he ripped another long fart, the lucky camera slowly panning towards the seams and textures of the blue denim covering his powerful sagging butt. It lasted almost 10 seconds: truly a fart master. And those weren’t even on command!

“Oh my…” I whispered, staring in awe at the amazing video.

“This one was on the house…” he chuckled, right before turning the phone to his butt one last time and ripping a short series of toots, grinning wildly, clearly forcing those smaller farts out just for me. And that was it.

My boner was definitely wet now as bits of that well-known white substance poured from the tip of of my “standing” dick, slightly dampening my boxers and pants. It was like a volcano going to explode. A volcano that, just like me, couldn’t take it anymore. I rushed to the bathroom and furiously beat my meat, almost strangling my rock-hard penis with a firm grip. I didn’t last much: I literally peed sperm, thinking of Dave’s farts. The best part is that I didn’t need to imagine anything: it was all real. I laughed in relief just as I felt my penis deflating like a balloon, after it vomited its white substance. It felt good, not “masturbation good”, like “life is good”. And it was.

My best friend, Dave, was this fantastic guy who, in his own, twisted way, was taking care of me, accepting me, making me comfortable with my fart fetish. A gassy, open-minded, mildly disgusting “bro” who only wanted to preserve our friendship.

And I couldn’t be happier.

End of Episode 1

#fart story #eproctophilia #fartkink #davefarts2 #gayfart #malefarts

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let-me-luve-you · 4 years ago

Text

I’m Proud of You

Tom Holland x Sister

Summary: The reader is in the military and encourages Tom to take the role of Cherry. Now that the movie is coming out, everyone expresses how proud they are.

Warnings: Not too descriptive but mentions of ptsd and addiction, angst, supportive friends and family, talks of the movie Cherry, talks of military

A/N: Hey guys, this is so late and I’m sorry. Just been going through it a little bit but I’m okay. Thank you to those that reached out. I hope you enjoy this.

MASTERLIST BUY ME A COFFEE REDBUBBLE

When Tom was pulled aside by the Russo Brothers when he was filming End Game and was given the plot line of the movie Cherry, Tom immediately thought of you. You were his baby sister that served in the military. Tom was hesitant to take the role of an army medic that has PTSD and struggles with addiction. This character would hit home in a way.

You had been home leading to Tom leaving for Atlanta to film the final Avengers movie, but you left shortly after he did to go back on deployment. Tom was never fully calm when he knew you weren’t home. He constantly worried.

When the Russo’s came to him, they knew he would have to consider everything from career to personal. They knew you served your country. What they didn’t know was that you were already suffering from PTSD. Tom knew, which is why it took him all of filming to give them an answer.

One morning when Tom was talking to you, he mentioned the role and how he didn’t know if he should take it. It discussed heavy issues. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to bring it justice. You encouraged him to take the role. You told him you knew he could do the role. That he was an amazing actor. You included that doing this movie could help start a conversation about mental health and addiction within soldiers and veterans.

Tom remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. Now the trailer is being released and he is starting the virtual press tour. You had just come home right before Christmas. Your Christmas present to your family was telling them you were retiring from the military. Tom was ecstatic at the news. He hated worrying about you when you were gone. He was constantly thinking that the next phone call he got was going to be his parents telling him you weren’t coming home.

A month later, you were currently staying with Tom until you found your own place. When Tom was sent the trailer to Cherry for him to post on his own social media the next day, he brought his computer to your room. He knocked on the door and opened it when he heard a quiet “come in.”

“Hey Y/N?” You looked up from your iPad when he spoke.

“Yeah?” You asked, confused.

“I have the trailer for Cherry. They just sent it over. Want to watch?” He asked hopefully. You could see the slight fear in his eyes, but you didn’t understand why.

“Sure.” You smiled at him and set your iPad on your night stand. Tom smiled back at you and sat down on the other side of the bed. He quickly made it full screen and hit play. He had already watched it so Tom watched you through the corner of his eye. He noticed that when it showed the war scenes, you tensed.

When the trailer was over, Tom slowly exited out and shut his computer screen. “What did you think? They are going to send over the movie this weekend. Figured me and you could make a movie night out of it with the whole family.”

“I liked it. You look like you did a good job so far. I can’t wait to watch it.” You smiled at him. Tom immediately knew you were putting on your fake smile.

“Everything okay?” He asked, concerned.

“Yeah. I just…” You sighed and looked away from Tom. “Just still adjusting to everything. You know that I’m going to therapy, right?”

Tom shook his head, “No, I just thought you were going to mum’s and dad’s.”

“No. I’ve been going to therapy. I’m at three days a week right now. The nightmares are just too much to handle. Then I hear sounds during the day and it just flashes me back to there.”

“I’m sorry y/n/n. You know you can talk to me. I want you to know you can talk to me. No matter what time. I talked with veterans, I don’t know what you went through, but I know it wasn’t good. After playing this character, I don’t want to see that happen to you. Did they prescribe medicine?” He asked.

You shook your head.

“Okay. If they feel you need to, please let me know. I really, really don’t want you to go through addiction. I don’t even want to risk it for you to even get close to addiction.” He said seriously. You knew he was. You didn’t want the medicine anyways.

“I can’t wait to see the movie.” You said with a smile. “But can I ask if we can start it early? I already know, I’ll probably need to pause it and take a minute when it gets to those scenes.” You said. You didn’t even need to specify which ones. Tom knew already that watching the military scenes were going to be hard for you.

“Yeah. We can. And if you want it to be just us, that’s perfectly okay. I can watch it with everyone else the next night.” He said giving you options.

You shook your head to turn down the new option, “that’s okay. I can watch it with them. Just let them know I will need to pause it.” Tom smiled at you and nodded before kissing your head and getting off your bed. Tom left to go show everyone else the trailer.

After he posted the trailer to his Instagram a few days later, positive comments started flooding his Instagram and Twitter. You scrolled through the comments from Harry, Haz, the Russo Brothers, and more people Tom knew and worked with and like all of them. You were so happy to see them support Tom. He had the right people in his corner.Next you saw a post from Tuwaine. First you scrolled through the photos. They were of Tom as Cherry throughout the different times in the characters life.

It’s funny, cos when I see bae do a role like this, I’m reminded again and again of how talented he truly is. I don’t think the world can look at you the same way once this is out.

He added that the trailer link was in his bio and you smiled. Not many people would do that, but Tuwaine has been one of Tom’s day 1s. You loved Tuwaine like a brother. You couldn’t ask for a better best friend for your brother.

You knew Tuwaine’s words were 100% correct. People saw Tom as a kid. They saw him like he is this sweet, innocent teenager like Peter Parker. He didn’t hate that, but he also hated being seen as a kid. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Spider-Man and he would love to play that character for the rest of his life, but he’s 24. He wanted to be taken seriously and no one takes a kid seriously.

You remember getting the selfie Tom sent to your phone when he was filming. You didn’t get it until you returned home, but he loved to text your phone when things happened so you could stay up to date with him. The selfie Tom sent you was when he was in Morocco. He was in all of his military gear. The text under it was,

I put this suit on and I feel like I’m an imposter. I feel like I don’t deserve to wear this. I’m just an actor, you are the real hero in this world. But when I feel like this, I remember what you told me. “If anyone can play this role, it’s you Tom. You have a connection to the military. You see what it can do to the family and friends around the soldier. You know what it has done to me. If anyone can bring this character to the screen and help start a conversation about PTSD and addiction, it’s you. I don’t know another actor that would take it seriously and give it 110%.” I hope this movie does start that conversation. I hope people see this character and realize the severity of it. Thank you for pushing me to do this role. I love you. I can’t wait to see you again. Stay safe y/n/n. I love you.

You decided to post the picture he sent you plus a screenshot of the text. You wanted them to see Tom as Tom. You were so incredibly proud of him and you wanted the world to see that.

Tom, I honestly don’t know what words to say right now, you know I’m not good at them, but I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for going outside your comfort zone. You went into this movie to show people you can be more than the nerdy high school kid and to start a conversation. I read all the text you sent me when filming this. I know the hardships you went through. I cannot wait to watch Cherry with you to see all the hard work pay off. I already know you were absolutely amazing in it. I love you and I’m proud of you!

When Tom got the notification that he was tagged in a post by you, he smiled. He smiled even bigger seeing the photos you used and as he read the caption. He was the luckiest brother in the world to have a sister like you. He quickly comment thank you and love you with a kiss and heart emojis.

“Tom?” You asked as you walked into his room to see him lying on the bed.

“Yeah?” He questioned.

“I really am proud of you. Let’s go out for lunch. My treat.” You smiled. Tom got out of bed and walked to you.

“Thank you for pushing me to do this role. I’m really glad I did it.” He said and gave you a kiss on the head. “Now go get dressed, I’m paying.” He said with an arrogant tone and walked towards his bathroom. You left to get dressed while laughing. Knowing it was going to be a fight to see who actually paid for lunch.

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thedigitalnativee · 4 years ago

Text

i trusted you. (fred weasley x fem!oc)

summary: vespyr trusted him despite being warned of his ways.

warnings: unedited and not proof-read, ANGST, mentions of sex, mentions of nude photos, fred being a dick, me hurting my oc as a way to cope (lol...)

update: vespyr’s name is pronounced ve-spur

Vespyr face claim:

•••••••••••

Vespyr was stunned by what she was seeing. It was as if she could feel her heart breaking in half. She didn’t want to believe it, but how could she not when it was so clear?

Two weeks ago, Vespyr slept with Fred Weasley. She’d always had a crush on him. She was in awe of his ambition and confidence, and not to mention that he was rather dashing as well.

But she knew nothing would ever come of it. After all, she was just one of Ron’s dumb little friends to him.

So when Fred kissed her at a quidditch afterparty, she was shocked. But not shocked enough to tell him no. She had wanted him since she was eleven years old. For years, her dreams and fantasies had been of him loving her unconditionally. So when he said he wanted her, she let him have her. And when he said he wanted a piece of her with him, she didn’t protest.

Maybe she should have pushed him off. Maybe she should have said no. Maybe she should have done anything to keep her from being in the position she was in now.

Now here she sat, tears welling up in her eyes. Next to her, Lavender and Parvati showed her the copies of the intimate photos she shared with Fred that had been circulating around the school. Photos of her in her underwear, posing promiscuously. Enchanted pictures of his fingers running over her breasts and stomach. Laying completely nude on his bed as they made love—or so she thought.

“I’m sorry, Vespyr.” Parvati said.

Vespyr felt like her breath had been stolen away. Her chest was red hot with a feeling she’d never felt before. It was like heartbreak elevated to a higher plane.

“We tried to collect all of them, but I think Fay said she saw more in one of the corridors. We told McGonagall and she’s looking into it.” Lavender added gently.

Fred couldn’t have done this. He would never have shown those photos to anyone. But how else would they have gotten out to the school? Maybe someone found them in his dorm. He wouldn’t hurt her like this.

Vespyr walked down to the common room where she knew Fred was. She had to speak with him immediately. Surely he’d know how the photos had gotten around.

When she got to the common room, she saw Fred sitting around the card table with his friends. She stood in the frame of the stairway with her arms crossed over her chest, feeling everyone’s eyes on her. She saw the dirty look Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley gave to her. She also noticed the way Alicia, Angelina, and Katie laughed at her.

Trying her best to ignore them, she made her way across the room to Fred. As she approached, Lee and Cormac’s eyes landed on her. She felt unease rise in her as smirks grew on their faces.

She realized that everyone in that room had probably seen her photos. The photos that were only meant for Fred to see. They’d all seen her in her most vulnerable and intimate state. And even though she was completely clothed, she’d never felt more exposed.

Vespyr stood behind Fred’s chair, his broad back to her. She cleared her throat as she shifted uncomfortably. Fred continued playing cards, however, as if he hadn’t heard her.

George now looked up at Vespyr. He got a worried look which quickly changed into an apologetic expression. Vespyr couldn’t smile or do anything other than stare blankly at him, too consumed with the thought that he too had probably seen her naked.

Vespyr cleared her throat again but still got no response from Fred. Finally George kicked his brother under the table. Fred winced slightly as George motioned to where Vespyr stood behind them.

She already felt humiliated. She needed to see Fred’s face. She knew once she saw his warm, chocolate eyes and dimples that she’d feel safe again. But when Fred turned to look at her, she felt the opposite of safe. He looked at her like she was an embarrassment, like she was a burden. A nagging duck that had imprinted on him, a pimple that just won’t go away.

Vespyr looked down at her loafers, a hurt feeling coming over her. “Can I please talk to you?” She asked Fred.

Fred glanced back at the other boys at the table. Vespyr wanted to sob when she saw the way they chuckled. Then Fred turned back to her, “Yeah. Sure.” He shrugged, smacking his hand of cards onto the table.

Vespyr practically sprinted out of the common room and into the corridor. Fred followed behind her with his hands tucked into his pockets.

They stood in the corridor, Fred barely able to meet her eyes. The fact that he couldn’t even look at her was enough to tell her that he had done something. She didn’t even have to ask because she already knew. But still, she wanted to hear him say what he had done. And she wanted to know why.

“Please tell me that you didn’t do this, Fred. Please tell me that I’m crazy for even thinking you had something to do with this. T-Tell me that someone stole these,” She threw three of the photos at him, “from your drawer and you didn’t know. Just tell me you didn’t do this.” She said as tears welled up in her eyes.

Fred finally looked at Vespyr. Her nose was bright red and the crystal tears in her eyes made them look unreal. He let out a sigh and Vespyr prepared herself for whatever he was about to say.

“It was so stupid how it started out, Vess. Okay, we were all just fucking around after quidditch practice.” He started.

Vespyr felt a chill run down her spin, “Alright,” She said in a tone that encouraged him to continue.

Fred let his body lean against the wall next to him. “I don’t know who brought it up but we started talking about that stupid fucking list-”

She knew what list he was referring to. She’d seen far too many girls shed tears after finding out they were on it. And she’d also seen girls cry because they didn’t make the list. It was a topic of many conversations for the upper-classmen, and a source of frustration for the school’s staff. Vespyr recalled one time when Lavender gushed about how she desired to be on the list.

The list of Hogwarts most desirable—better known by the quidditch boys as “Hogwarts’ Most Fuckable”.

Vespyr never thought that she would be on the list. It had never even crossed her mind. But the thought of being on it made her feel sick.

“-We were all laughing and then Cormac brought up Ginny’s name, and he said that he was gonna put her on the list unless someone else put another girl on there. And I just got pissed and I didn’t want Ginny on it, so I brought you up.” Fred explained frantically.

Vespyr’s heart began to race. And even still, she felt for him. She still felt a sweet tug in her heart as she looked at him. Even though he was breaking her heart.

“I didn’t know that they were gonna plaster the picture all over the school, Vess, I swear.” He reached for her hands.

Vespyr blinked, gently pulling her hands away. Her stomach started to flip in a horrible way. She felt like she was going to faint. “Y-You showed them those pictures? Why would you- why would you do that?” She asked him.

“They were gonna put Ginny on the list, alright? She’s only in fourth year, I- I panicked. What should I have done?” He tried to make her understand, taking her hands in his again.

This time she snatched her hands away, “You could have told McGonagall, o-or you could have stopped it. I don’t know, Fred, you just could have done something.” She breathed out now.

Fred scoffed, “Yeah, tell McGonagall and have the entire quidditch league think I’m some git.” He defends.

“So you decided that I should suffer the consequences?” She snapped at him.

Fred couldn’t say anything back to her. He had no defense for what he had done. It was a horrible thing to do to someone, especially someone you claim to care about. “It’s just a stupid list, Vespyr.”

Her eyes widened with anger, red clouding her vision. “If it’s just a stupid list, then Ginny could have been on it, right?” She snapped.

“Vess-” He shook his head.

She couldn’t describe what she was feeling. It was a rage and anger that she had never felt in all her life. The betrayal coupled with the dismissal of it all made her livid.

“That’s because it’s not just a stupid list!” She pushed his chest angrily.

Fred pinched the bridge of his nose. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Vespyr. But when Cormac brought Ginny up, he felt like his hands were tied.

Fred tried pulling Vespyr into his embrace but she pushed against him. “Don’t.” She said sternly.

He sighed, “What do you want me to do?” He asked finally.

She looked up at him as if he’d gone mad, “I want you to stop this. I want you to defend me from all the shit people are saying.” Vespyr told him.

He gave her a confused look. “How am I supposed to defend you, Vespyr? Okay, this isn’t all my fault.” He said.

He knew it sounded wrong coming out of his mouth. He just wanted to feel less guilty about what he had done. He didn’t want to hurt her any further, but that was exactly what he was doing.

“I’m sorry, do you mean to imply that this is my fault?” She asked him.

He shrugged slightly, “I mean, you gave me the pictures, Vess.” He said.

“Because you asked for them!” She yelled back, her finger pressing into his chest.

She picked up the photos that were strewn on the ground. “These pictures, these pictures that you asked me for, were private. These pictures weren’t for your ‘stupid list’.” She ripped them up and threw them at his face.

Fred continued to try to calm her down, but she wasn’t going to calm down. There were no words that he could say to make her any less angry than she felt in that moment. He tried to grab her arms, he tried to hug her even. But there was nothing that was going to make this better.

Tears streamed down her face. Her throat was closing up, causing her voice to be thick. She felt like she might explode from the pressure mounting in her head. “You know I never did anything like that for anyone else before you? I never even thought to give a guy something like that until you. And now- now you do this?” She cried.

Fred’s jaw clenched as he looked at the space between them. “Yeah, well, I didn’t force you.”

Vespyr couldn’t believe him. How could he not see the error in his words? And why was he being so hurtful towards? She thought he cared about her. He said he would always protect her and he would never let anything happen to her. She trusted him and now he was doing the very opposite of protecting her. He was deliberately putting her in harm’s way.

She scoffed and pushed past him, not wanting to hear any more. She was so unimaginably angry at him, at all of them. For doing this to her and then having the nerve to think less of her.

Vespyr paused and turned around to look at him. Fred’s tall frame came into view again. “You’re a sad sack of a man and you will never touch me again.” She said as strongly as she could, but the crack in her voice made her fall short.

Fred hadn’t meant to put any blame onto Vespyr. He wanted to be there for her. God knows that he didn’t want to lose her. But it was like every time he spoke, the wrong words kept coming out. His mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.

Now she had confirmed it, though she had already known the answer somewhat. Vespyr was alone in this. The pictures were out and the damage was done. Everyone around her was silently, and not so silently, judging her. And Fred was too much of a coward to stand by her through it all.

It had been three very long weeks. Vespyr had only spoken to Lavender and Parvati due to the fact that they were the only people who would talk to her. Then there was Neville, who was always nice. And of course Luna, the kindest soul anyone had ever met. And despite some forlorn stares from across the room on Fred’s part, she hadn’t spoken to him either.

She wondered if anyone had empathy for her. If anyone could stop calling her names long enough to actually put themselves in her place and try to understand. If any of them could bestow a little grace upon her.

It seemed like those pictures just wouldn’t go away. She thought it would blow over after a week or so, but it just wasn’t. Every time she thought it might be over, someone would leave a picture in one of her notebooks or her owl would deliver an envelope full of them, or whatever cruel way the student body decided to remind her.

At lunch, Draco Malfoy and his friends came up to her. Draco tapped her on her shoulder and she turned around. When she saw who it was, she knew it couldn’t be good.

Vespyr sighed, “Yes?”

Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini snickered next to him as Pansy Parkinson sneered at Vespyr.

“Sorry, we just wanted to know your price.” Draco smirked, elbowing Blaise playfully.

Lavender glared at him and Vespyr sat there with a confused. She wasn’t sure what he meant by her ‘price’, but knowing Malfoy, it probably wasn’t something nice.

“What?” Vespyr asked in an annoyed tone.

Theodore chuckled, “You know, your price for pictures.” He explained.

Vespyr rolled her eyes, putting down her fork and standing up to leave. The group of them started to laugh as Lavender followed her out.

“Don’t worry, boys. I hear she’s pretty cheap anyway.” Pansy remarked, her words being the last thing Vespyr heard before she left the hall.

About two days after that, Dumbledore called Vespyr into his office. He’d told her that he’d been made aware of her predicament and was concerned for her.

To say that Vespyr was embarrassed was an understatement. She was appalled and ashamed. She felt humiliated.

Her mentor, her headmaster, had seen those god awful photos of her. The fact that he was aware made it clear that other members of the staff had to know also. Vespyr found herself examining her teachers for any signs that they had. A slight stutter when they spoke to her, a quick aversion of the eyes, lips pressed in a firm line. They all made her wonder irrationally.

Have they seen my photos? Have they seen my body?

It made her feel sick.

“Well, Miss Morgan, I can assure you I will be looking into this and I will get down to the bottom of who is responsible. Until then, I’ll be tasking Professor McGonagall with deciding your punishment.”

Vespyr’s head shot up at his words, “My punishment?”

Dumbledore nodded authoritatively at the young girl. Vespyr was dumbfounded that she was to be punished also. He should have been consoling her, not scolding.

“I’m sorry, Professor,” She shook her head as she fiddled with her fingers, “I can’t imagine why I’m being punished.” She said truthfully.

“It’s you in the photos, is it not?” He tilted his head forward, his old eyes widening slightly.

Vespyr chuckled almost, “Well yes, but— Professor, I-I’m a victim. I’ve done nothing wrong. My only crime is caving to pressure.” She explained.

Dumbledore sighed and stood up. He went to the bookshelf in the corner of the room. Vespyr turned in her chair to follow him. He placed a hand on his hip and looked back at her.

“Miss Morgan, let’s not be deluded. You have a mind of your own and you’ve used it very keenly in the past. You used that independent mind of yours to decide to take those photos of yourself and give them to whomever you did. Does that diminish the seriousness of what has been done to you? No, it does not. But you are responsible for it in a sense. No one can make you do anything against your will.” Dumbledore said.

Vespyr felt a lump rising in her throat. She didn’t care what anyone thought. She didn’t care if she had decided on her own to give those photos to Fred. The fact of the matter was that they were meant for only him. They were given to him, someone she trusted, during a time when she thought they were in love. Yes, she had given him the photos on her own accord, but it didn’t mean the world got to see them as well.

She grabbed her bag and darted for the door. Dumbledore stepped in her way before she could leave. “Now just wait a minute, Miss Morgan.”

“No. You know what? You have no idea what it’s like to be a young girl in a cruel world like this. A world that shames you for showing too little, as well as shaming you for showing too much. A world that tells you that you must give yourself to a man or else you’re a prude, but also tells you that it makes you some kind of whore if you do decide to have sex. You and people like you wanna place the blame on us girls because you know deep down that you enabled this.” She spit at him.

Dumbledore had stepped back from her, his firm expression faltering at her bold language.

“You, Headmaster, have turned a blind eye to the barbaric environment in this school. You’ve allowed the quidditch teams to harass and torment the female population at Hogwarts by your continued dismissal of that list. And now, to feel less guilty about it all, you intend to place blame onto me.” She continued.

Her hands were balled into fists so tight that her fingernails broke the skin on her palm. She could feel the tears brimming her eyes.

Doesn’t anyone have any sympathy for me?

“Miss Morgan, are you trying to tell me that someone on one of the quidditch teams is responsible for this?” He asked her.

She calmed down very fast, Fred’s dimpled smile coming into her mind. Her anger subsided suddenly as she realized that incriminating the quidditch team meant incriminating Fred. And as angry as she was with him, she didn’t want him to get in trouble. She hated that she still loved him enough not to make him pay.

The pounding in her heart stopped and sped up all at the same time. Her fists unclenched, blood trickling down her palm. She wiped away the tears that formed in her eyes. Some of the blood on her hands smeared on her cheek.

“That’s not my point.” She said firmly. Vespyr sighed as she looked at Dumbledore’s minimally concerned face. “Punish me if you must. It’s not like it’s any worse than anything else that’s happened to me.”

Luckily, someone in the world did have sympathy for Vespyr.

Professor McGonagall only gave her an extra study hall as her punishment. But honestly, the extra study hall spared Vespyr from seeing her vicious peers, so it wasn’t much of a punishment. It actually was a reward.

“The world is unkind, Vespyr. Someday I hope you’ll remember what I’ve done for you and make it kinder.” McGonagall had said to her.

Vespyr walked into the common room after her study hall at the end of the day. When she did, all eyes were on her. She’d grown used to the stares, the whispers. But she still got a chill when she felt them.

As she walked past Harry, Ron, and Hermione, she heard Hermione whisper something. “Careful, I hear libertinism is catching these days.” She said and Ron snickered.

Vespyr stopped walking. She closed her eyes and sucked in a sharp breath.

She couldn’t let it go on any longer. If she couldn’t defend herself then she had nothing. From the beginning, she resided to ignoring the comments being made about her. But seeing the way Hermione, a girl so intelligent and remarkable, talked about her made her unimaginably angry.

Vespyr turned, “You know, you talk a lot of shit.” She snapped at the other Gryffindor girl.

Hermione wavered slightly. Ron and Harry fell silent along with rest of the room.

Vespyr’s eyes glanced over to Fred, who sat in the corner with George and Lee. His eyes looked sadly upon her, as if he were pleading with her.

Please don’t do this to yourself. His eyes said. Please.

But Vespyr wouldn’t stop.

“Excuse me?” Hermione scoffed.

Vespyr stood her ground, “You heard me, Hermione.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

Hermione’s lips curled into an uncomfortable smirk. Angelina, Alicia, and Katie all quietly laughed as they watched the exchange. And then Ginny stood up.

“Just who do you think you are?” Ginny asked.

“I’m a fucking human being, that’s what I think! And you know what? Yeah, I took those pictures of myself and they got out. You all have made it your job not to let me forget. I’ve been called every name and been the butt of every joke under the sun this past month. And all the time, I’ve had no one but Lavender and Parvati by my side.” She said as she tried not to cry.

She looked at Fred and he looked away from her. He felt guilt course through him as he saw the pain in her expression.

“You all are angry with me but you aren’t at all angry with the person who did this.” Vespyr could feel her emotions coming undone.

Fred could hear it in her voice. It was like he was connected to her. He could feel the ache in her heart as if it were his own. He hated that he was the cause of that ache. He’d rationalized what he did to Vespyr by saying it was to protect Ginny, because it was, but that thought just wasn’t enough anymore as Vespyr stood in front of him broken to bits.

He stood up and walked to Vespyr, “That’s enough, let’s get you upstairs-”

“The person that deceived me with flowery language. That gained my trust only to betray it!” She pushed against his chest harshly and he stumbled backwards.

She turned and faced the other side of the room where the rest of the boys were. “Why is it always us that has to be held responsible for your wrongdoings? How come we’re ridiculed and called whores while you all suffer no consequences. Why does no one every get angry at you for victimizing us?” She sobbed at the empty expressions of Cormac McLaggen and others.

When she turned back, she saw that Hermione was red-faced and had a guilty look in her eyes. Everyone else was eerily silent and stared at Vespyr in shock. The only sound audible was Vespyr’s heavy breathing.

“Vespyr, I-” Hermione tried to speak, but Vespyr’s eyes found Ginny again.

Vespyr charged at the fiery-haired girl, “It would have been you. Had Fred not been there, it would have been you on that stupid list and not me. You should thank me!” She screamed at her and Ginny flinched.

Fred forcefully intervened, grabbing Vespyr by the shoulders and pulling her away from his sister. “Enough.” He said firmly. “I’m taking you back to your dorm.”

Vespyr felt anger and sadness boiling deep within her. She couldn’t decide between the two emotions because both were so strong. As Fred guided her up the steps to her dorm, she felt him pulling him into her chest. She couldn’t resist burying her face in his shirt, and she hated herself for it.

Fred sat her down on the bed and Vespyr couldn’t meet his eyes. “Your pajamas,” He said.

Vespyr shook her head, “What?”

“Um... I forgot where you keep them.” He said softly.

Vespyr felt like vomiting. She couldn’t believe that she had presented herself that way in the common room. She wasn’t the kind of person who told people how she felt so openly. She certainly wasn’t one to hysterically scream and cry in front of people. As if she wasn’t humiliated enough, now she had done this.

She crossed her arms over her chest, “Second drawer down on the left side.” She said softly.

Fred hurriedly went to her drawer and fished out a pair of blue pinstripe pajama pants and a blush pink sweater. He remembered that combination after the first night he made love to her.

He placed the neatly folded pajamas next to her. He noticed how she still looked away from him and he felt his heart sink. Her silky hair shined in the dim light of the dorm room. Dainty fingers fidgeted in her lap nervously as her knee bounced up and down.

Fred could feel the urge to brush her hair away so he could see her. He ached you run his fingers through it like he had done so many times before.

Vespyr could feel his attention on her. She should have wanted him to leave, but she felt comforted by him just being there. Instead of wanting to push him out of the room, she wanted to pull him down in the bed with her.

Finally Fred spoke, “Look, Vess-”

“I know, you’re sorry. You’ve told me.” Vespyr interrupted.

Fred sighed, slightly aggravated that she hadn’t let him speak. He sat down next to her and it took Vespyr by surprise. But she was even more shocked when he took her hands in his.

Oh, how she missed the feeling of his skin on hers.

“No, just listen.” He looked at her but she wouldn’t look at him. His thumb ran across her soft skin, rubbing in the crystal tears that fell onto her hands.

“From the moment I met you all those years ago, I vowed to myself that you would be the only girl I ever loved. And even though I’ve had other lovers and girlfriends before you, I always knew that in the end I would only be with you. Because you’re the only person I ever want for the rest of my life. That night that we first made love, I promised to myself I would never hurt you, and if I did I would work everyday to make it up to you.” He squeezed her hands gently.

Vespyr felt her throat closing up. She never knew that he had loved her all that time. For almost a decade, the two of them had loved each other and didn’t know it. She wished that he had given her a sign that he felt the same way.

“So, that’s what I want to propose to you now. I want to know if you’ll let me make it up to you. Because I love you, Vespyr Morgan. And I’m completely and totally uninterested in living a life without you. And I know that I’m a bloke for what I did, and I’d bet on the fact that I’ll fuck up countless times over. But I promise, if you give me a chance, I will do my best to make sure that it’s me that gets hurt and not you.” He placed a hand on her cheek.

Vespyr felt herself rest into his touch. Her tears pooled in his hand. She tried to resist kissing his palm, but her lips were on his calloused skin before she even realized it.

In all honesty, she wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t know whether to forgive him and kiss him tenderly, or tell him to sod off and slap him. Obviously he wasn’t deserving of her forgiveness. What he did to her was vile and careless. But goodness, she was so in love with him. And when he looked at her with those puppy dog eyes, she felt like she’d been hypnotized.

Her mind was foggy and her heart had found it’s way to her throat. So when she said what she did next, she almost didn’t hear the words fall from her lips.

“I forgive you.” She said.

Fred settled for a moment before she spoke again.

“I forgive you,” She swallowed, “but I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.” She finished.

Fred’s heart dropped yet again. What had he expected? For her to just easily fall back into his arms after what he’d done? She could never trust him again, obviously. How could she be with someone she didn’t trust?

“I do want you to make it up to me, Fred. I may not forget it, but I’m willing to put behind me. Because I love you too, and as angry as I’ve been with you, being away from you has been agony.” She rested her hand on his neck.

Tears pricked Fred’s eyes. He wasted no time pulling the younger Gryffindor into a kiss. He’d missed the way her lips melded to his and the way she warmed under his touch.

He knew as he kissed her that he would rather die than ever hurt his darling again. She was the most prized thing in the world to him, and he’d be damned if she ever suffered at his hand again.

They pulled away and Vespyr rested her head on his shoulder in a hug. Fred gently rubbed her bag, nestling his nose in her candy-scented hair. The two magical beings relished in the moment.

“I love you, Vespyr. More than anything. And I promise that I’m yours as long as you’d like me to be.” Fred spoke.

Vespyr held him tighter as he spoke, squeezing her eyes shut. “I love you, Fred. I will love you for as long as I live.”

#fred and goerge weasley #fred weasley #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fic #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley one shot #fred weasley x oc #fred weasley x gryffindor!reader #george weasley #george weasley imagine #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley one shot #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #ron weasley #fanfic #weasley twins #draco malfoy

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rainbirdsky · 3 years ago

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Conflict

Mod post. Apparently it needs to be clarified, because some people have misinterpreted things. Sometime bad things happen in stories because conflict is part of the story. I don’t condone the bad things. I do not admire the bad things. I do not romanticise or enjoy the bad things. It is a part of the story for the characters to overcome. Sometimes the bad thing happens in the story because I am dealing with my own feelings about something similar. I am processing my own pain with a ‘safer’ version of a story I’ve lived, and I know how the story will end in my version and I look forward to the catharsis of an ending better than the one I got. I don’t owe you an explanation for what I am dealing with. I will of course put content warnings where needed, or add them when asked if I missed some. I understand that, for readers, the happy ending feels far away because I can only work on updating so much. I am trying to go faster, but I have limits.

I have joked about enjoying ‘duck suffering’ but I do not. I thought the term alone was enough of a hint it was a joke - it sounds flippant and ridiculous. Teal is a self-insert - I'd like them to get better and succeed. I pour a lot of myself into them. I need to set up the odds they’re fighting against so that their success makes narrative sense. That is how stories work. The main thing I enjoy is that others sympathise with my characters and are invested in the story I’d like to tell. I don’t always want to blubber about how much I appreciate people who appreciate my story - that can be awkward, especially when it gets repetitive. So instead I joke that I enjoy ‘duck suffering’ and shrug it off. Let’s be honest, even as a self-insert Teal is a fictional character and they do not, can not care about this joke. If you don’t like the joke, let me know and I can stop making it. It doesn’t actually matter to me more than a real persons’ comfort, I’m pretty flexible if you talk to me about these things. I just tend to dismiss this kind of thing with humour where I can.

I deliberately do not draw/depict acts of violence much beyond adult characters being held by their shirt/neck. I don’t want to draw more than that. It’s unpleasant and uncomfortable. But I also am not looking to write Care Bears - I want a story that has conflict. IIRC Avengers Infinity War is PG-13 and has similar levels of violence? Am open to correction - exact ratings are difficult and may change from country to country. If you would like fluff, great! There are other blogs who can cater to you! I am happy for you to block me (block my main too if you don’t want me seeing you in tags) and move on. I’m not really keen on being labelled as some monster for writing a story where abuse happens, as if I approve of abuse. You get that that is deliberately misleading and shitty, right?

So far the most physically violent part of my story was an abuse victim (Teal) finally attacking their abuser (Resh). The most detailed (written, not drawn) act of violence was an act of self-defence and retaliation. I am not luxuriating in Teal’s pain, I am explaining it (broadly/vaguely) so when Teal gets their revenge that revenge makes sense. I don’t know how to be more clear with my intent than that. If you really still think I’m doing this because I’m a creep, I have to believe that’s because you decided I am one and don’t actually care past that decision. If that’s the case block me, leave me alone.

I’m sorry you have triggers and subjects that upset you. So do I. I cannot fix those for you, no matter how squeaky-clean I make my story. I (once again) encourage you to read the content/trigger warnings in my pinned and above the readmores for darker posts. The pinned warnings are newer (added before darker elements arose) but it is very helpful. I am trying to give you all the tools you need to avoid these triggers - but you have to maintain your space and monitor the content you take in, too. There is no point ignoring the warnings, looking at content that upsets you, and then getting angry at me. It helps no one.

I wish you peace. Take care of yourself, and try to not see the world so black and white.

#mod post #text post #long post #abuse #tw abuse #violence #tw violence #written #ask to tag #probably won't engage much in conversation over this #don't like making this post #happy to add any tags you recommend #written at 5am so sorry for typos/repetition

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tallmantall · 1 year ago

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#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – Late #SinéadO'Connor Was Open With #MentalHealthStruggles, #BipolarDisorder Diagnosis

The late Irish singer was very transparent about her #mental and physical health By Chrissy Callahan This story discusses #suicide. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text #988 to reach the #SuicideandCrisisLifeline. You can also text HOME to 741741 or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional resources. After a successful career that spanned multiple decades, #SinéadO’Connor has passed away at the age of 56. News of the musician's death broke on Wednesday, but an official cause of death has not been released yet. O'Connor's family shared the following statement with The BBC and Irish broadcaster RTE: “It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of our beloved Sinéad. Her family and friends are devastated and have requested privacy at this very difficult time.” #SineadO'Connor, 1992Crispin Rodwell / Shutterstock Throughout her career, the “Nothing Compares 2 U” singer was open about the various health struggles she experienced, many of which were related to #mentalhealth. O'Connor had #bipolardisorder In 2007, the star spoke about her #bipolardisorder during an appearance on "The #OprahWinfrey Show” and said she experienced thoughts of #suicide and overwhelming fear before her diagnosis nearly four years beforehand. “It’s like being a bucket with holes in it. Just leaking tears from every pore,” she said. At the time, O'Connor was taking mood stabilizing and antidepressant medications. She told Winfrey they helped, but added that she was a "work in progress." “I’m not going to sit here and claim that I’m kind of perfect or anything. Anything is an improvement when you’ve been in desolation ... to be out of that place is brilliant. It doesn’t mean you don’t have lumps and bumps,” she said. Over the years, O'Connor was forthcoming about the effect her condition had on her career. In 2012, she canceled her tour, explaining that she was “very unwell due to #bipolardisorder.” The same year, she sought treatment for #depression. In 2017, the Irish singer spoke openly about her #mentalhealth and #suicidalthoughts in an emotional video, claiming that her family had abandoned her. “Why are we alone?” she said. “People who suffer from #mentalillness are the most vulnerable people on Earth. You’ve got to take care of us. We’re not like everybody.” The star also encouraged her fans to check in on anyone in their lives who might be struggling. “If you have a family member that suffers from #mentalillness, care for them, tenderness, love, care for them. Visit them in the hospital, don’t dump them in the hospital and bugger off,” she said. O'Connor was hospitalized last year after her son died In January 2022, O’Connor was hospitalized just days after her 17-year-old son Shane died. As reported by #CNN at the time, the singer sought medical care after posting a series of alarming #Twitter posts claiming that she planned to die by #suicide. “I’ve decided to follow my son. There is no point living without him. Everything I touch, I ruin. I only stayed for him. And now he’s gone,” O'Connor shared via an unverified #Twitter account that was linked to her account. Later on, the star added to her tweets and apologized, admitting that she "shouldn't have said that." "I am with #cops now on way to hospital. I’m sorry I upset everyone,” she wrote. “I am lost without my #kid and I hate myself. Hospital will help a while. But I’m going to find Shane. This is just a delay.” #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com O'Connor experienced #PTSD from #childhood abuse O'Connor's memoir, "Rememberings," published in 2021, dives into the #physicalabuse she endured from her mother as a #child. "I won the prize in kindergarten for being able to curl up into the smallest ball, but my #teacher never knew why I could do it so well," she wrote in the book. In a 2021 interview with the New York Times, O'Connor offered the following insight into her experience as a #child. “#Childabuse is an identity crisis and fame is an identity crisis, so I went straight from one identity crisis into another,” she said. In an interview with TODAY's Carson Daly in 2021, O'Connor explained how she still lived with the #trauma of her #childhood. “I suffer from a condition called complex #posttraumaticstressdisorder, from things that I went through growing up,” she said. While talking with Carson, O'Connor recalled an iconic moment when she tore up a photo of Pope John Paul II in 1992 while appearing on “Saturday Night Live.” The photo belonged to the star's mother, and she explained that it was a therapeutic experience since she had been so abusive during her #childhood. “It was a way of ripping her up, as well, I guess,” she said. O'Connor spoke out about the challenges she faced following a hysterectomy In 2015, O'Connor underwent a radical hysterectomy in an attempt to manage her endometriosis. While speaking with People in 2021, the star said the procedure and the subsequent menopause that came afterwards was very challenging to experience. “When I had the surgery, I was terribly triggered,” she said. The star visited several #psychiatric facilities in the years following the procedure, and she opened up to People about her #mentalhealthstruggles. “You can never predict what might trigger the (#PTSD). I describe myself as a rescue dog: I’m fine until you put me in a situation that even slightly smells like any of the #trauma I went through, then I flip my lid,” she said. “I manage very well because I’ve been taught brilliant skills. There was a lot of therapy. It’s about focusing on the things that bring you peace as opposed to what makes you feel unstable.” Sinead O'Conner Read the full article

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