#i am soooo happy to have a dog who can hang out while i move around

[abirddogmoment]

forced out of bed for Tortures (learning to swim in a private heated saltwater pool)

[amethystina]

Oh man!! The latest chapter!!! The angst was angsting, pain was paining, heart is wrenching, tear is falling, it was soooo mean, but do it again!!!

It was the longest chapter and ironically the most painful chapter as well. Have I said how much I love slow burn and angst and this fic hits home everytime?? Likeee woah I just LOVE how this fic is LOOONG , nowhere near close bc that means I get me read it longer lol.

And I feel like I would never be able to appreciate how much hard work you put in Who Holds the Devil.

I am guessing it is now Ga On's turn to pursue Yohan and Oh man I can already imagine how much he is gonna suffer while doing it 😭 or maybe not (bc he tends to be pretty straightforward at times and impulsive as well) but I believe it's gonna be pretty hard bc Gaon has so much shit to get together and Yohan, my man, already gave up (poor him) so gaon trying to persue him or rather seduce his sugar daddy would look very suspicious to him. Nevertheless I am exited to see Gaon try and miserably, comically and hilariously half fail bc he will succeed eventually as Yohan is too much of a loser for Gaon lol. I am excited for future chapters and definitely wouldn't complain about more angst lol.

It was necessary for this to happen, otherwise the story would go nowhere and most importantly Gaon and Yohan would go nowhere, their problems will never be solved. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is crucial to develop in life BUT I would hate it if it happens to me, hope I will be able to get my shits together before that happens ( or maybe it already happened but I am not relizing it or not acknowledging it much like gaon but he is better than me ngl at least he has the courage)

This became a rant about me naur 😭

Lastly I hope you have a great day and things work out for you 💕

Also idk if it's your cup of tea but My Happy Ending kdrama is sooo good and worth giving it a try. It's a psychological suspense drama hehe. I am soo invested in it nowadays so couldn't help recommending you as well 💫

It was a painful chapter, yeah. And I'm both relieved and heartbroken to finally have it out there. As someone who doesn't actually like angst, this chapter was a struggle in more than one way. But it's necessary if I want their relationship to move forward, so here we are.

At this point, writing Who Holds the Devil has sort of turned into a second job, not going to lie. I still enjoy it, make no mistake, but I have to plan all of my other hobbies around it since I feel an obligation to post somewhat regularly. Like, I've been postponing drawing for the past two weeks because I wanted to get this chapter out (that's how long it took to edit, yes) but drawing is the thing that helps the most with my depression symptoms (that have made an unwanted reappearance due to my burnout), so I've been struggling quite a bit. And now all I want to do is draw for a couple of days.

So yeah. I can't lie and say it's not a lot of work, both in terms of planning, writing, editing, etc., but also how it affects the rest of my life. BUT I just love it too much to give up on it ;)

And yes, Ga On will have to be the one to pursue Yo Han now ;) Or, well, eventually. He has to wallow and overthink things a bit first because, well, Ga On. If overthinking things was an Olympic sport, he'd win the gold for sure. But he WILL give Yo Han what he wants in the end, I promise.

In short, the "the only way after hitting rock bottom is up" saying is pretty apt in this case.

There's still hope, so just hang in there :)

I looked at the plot for My Happy Ending but I admit it didn't really catch my attention. But that could be because I don't really watch much right now? I'm too busy writing and drawing. I'm also trying to finish a drama I started ages ago called Mad Dog. Which, let me tell you, it's disorientingly gay for a drama about insurance fraud. But unlike The Devil Judge I'm not sure if they're actually AWARE of how gay it is? (especially since it's from 2017)

But, like, if I had a penny for every time I've watched a drama in which a traumatised, older man brings home a reckless, bratty twink after said twink got injured — under the pretence of protecting him from more harm — only for the twink to start snooping around his house before deciding to charm the dude with home-cooked food and then just doesn't leave I would have two pennies. Which isn't a lot, but it's still weird that it's happened twice.

Also, what the heck do they want me to think when they have these kinds of angles when the two dudes are arguing?

That looks questionable both in and out of context. BUT that could also be because Woo Do Hwan could have sexual tension with a goddamn rock. Rarely have I seen a man with so much "fuck me and find out" energy as his character in this drama.

But the twink also has a romantic plotline with the woman on the team, at the same time as he's living in the older dude's apartment and giving this poor dude all kinds of conflicted feelings because he's a widower who's lived alone since his wife and kid died and suddenly there's someone in his apartment cooking him food, nagging at him when he comes late and drunk etc. etc. Like, bruh. It really sounds like the twink is his new wife? And I am SO CONFUSED because the drama plays it so straight (without the "hint, hint, nudge, nudge" winks that The Devil Judge had) that I'm about to have an existential crisis.

Fellas, is it gay if this is the face you make when you're told you're not actually living with the man who took you home to keep you safe after you almost got murdered but then you accidentally behaved like his concerned and doting wife?

Asking for a friend.

(and don't even get me started on the whole "Bring Your Twink to Work Day" scene)

At this point, I'm half convinced I'm gaslighting myself into thinking this is gay when it's actually just a really heartwarming story about a really deep bromance that I'm too queer to understand.

ANYWAY. Thanks for the rec! But I'm not sure if it's my thing and I'm really bad at watching things right now. But I'm thrilled to hear that you're having so much fun with it! I'm happy for you! :D

And thank you so much for the lovely message 💜

[finitefantasy]

someone i follow is indirecting you about calling this episode of buddy daddies filler, saying you just sound like a mad gay person about a straight plotline

truly do not want buddy daddies drama of all things but that really was just a joke post that wasn't... that serious?

i'm not ~upset about him being with women (as a bisexual i can recognize bisexuality is real and always viewed him as a fellow bisexual). i just think in general this backstory does... very little for his character? or rather what it does for his character isn't worth fridging a woman over.

it's a very tired and tried trope and speeedrunning it in a single episode after teasing it multiple times kind of demonstrates... how little value it truly adds to his story and his arc. if you're going to make him a 28 year old widower with a dead child, you have to rEALLY commit to that plot. i enjoyed the mystery of figuring out who the money was going to (was it her family? was she in a coma and this was for medical expenses? did the child survive? etc) and i enjoyed the angst potential but ultimately... this was heavily underexplored.

and ended up just feeling kinda generic. and rote.

using about... 5-10 minutes of a 13 episode season to have him be confronted about his past AND overcome it is not satisfying storytelling. for him to avoid karin for FIVE YEARS and have her just go "my sister would want you to be happy" in ~1 day and suddenly he's like... okay with the guilt of moving on... is... not... compelling? especially when so little of the guilt was explored.

especially when the guilt was only really explored via the money he left for karin (which is something that had AMPLE room for relevance, like when they couldn't get work and were going broke, he should've been stressed about payments) and... in tandem when he was experiencing generalized caretaker burn out, where you're then meant to understand that "actually, it's not so bad, he was just feeling guilty for moving on and projecting that guilt onto rei being a fail-husband and miri acting like a kid." like... that was really it. they needed to intersperse that guilt more heavily into the text.

if you can do an episode where you jump from playground to DOG SHOT THROUGH HEAD to playground, you can mix in more 'my wife is dead, my child is dead, and here i am playing house with my bestie and this child's whose dad i killed' a bit more.

this felt... cheap. the fact that he 'killed' his wife by her... randomly being next to a truck that exploded was cheap. and just soooo overdone in general.

and when it's that cheap, the value really just boils down to 'forced sad heterosexual backstory' and 'we haven't reminded you that kazuki sleeps with women/hangs with FEMALE sex workers to cope' in a while.

which isn't all bad. like there was PLENTY of room to play around with that and give kazuki more layers as a character and more edge.

but... it didn't work here for me. and i say this as someone who thinks ultimately this show does FAIRLY amazing character work, handle subtleties INFINITELY better than expected, and has handling the gay implications of its plot incredibly.

it's just... all of the leg work of this episode could have been done by exploring him being abandoned by his parents and an orphan. tie in complicated feelings about adoption into how he adopted this girl. make it feel like he gave up on idk reconnecting with his bio family and how he doesnt' want to move on. let him have resentment and guilt. or maybe tie this into how he MURDERED MIRI'S FATHER and how it feels wrong raising her.

there's sooo much room for like Angsty Exploration of Kazuki's Feelings and it felt like this is the most gneric path they could've taken. i have seen sooo many women fridged and this exact storyline play out so many times.

if you're gonna do it again, do it better than this.

i also feel weird about this entire plot happening with like... zero rei relevanec? and this isn't even a ship thing. it's just like... if you guys are dads together, matter to each other, it's... weird that kazuki's entire hang up about his DEAD WIFE is something that... never matters in his friendship with rei?

this plot is SO fucking isolated from the rest of the story, it feels unnecessary.

kyu is the middle man and has like... very little involvement.

if you remove this storyline, the show is ultimately the same minus a few good heartfelt scenes.

(and, yes, karin's speech and his connection with her WERE good and heartfelt!)

i'm allowed to complain about weak this exploration was without being written off as someone who is just mad about straight shit in my gay show or whatever.

[obxhoe]

Anon request//JJ x reader

I accidentally deleted the anon request but it was about Rafe and reader being in an unhealthy relationship and JJ helps/saves her. 

a/n: i tried my best with this and i hope this is okay!!! thank you for requesting! Sorry this is so late and that i have been lacking with content, work has been insane and i’m slowly getting back on track. I have a few things in progress. I tried to make this story as positive as it could be, having been in an abusive relationship myself and I didn’t wanna trigger anyone or anything. Soooo yeah enjoy!

word count: around 2,400

Warnings: drugs, abusive/unhealthy relationship (i tried to leave out graphic content, just a lot of yelling), swearing

He was high. Again. This had become the new normal, Rafe getting high out of his fucking mind almost every night. And it was usually the only time he was somewhat nice to you. It started out when he went from smoking with you or his friends to him smoking alone, multiple times, every day. Then came cocaine. One night at a party you two decided to try it. The rush was too much for you, a whiplash of sensations hitting you all at once and you decided to stick to weed from that moment on. Rafe on the other hand fell in love with it and well, shit hit the fan. Fast. It was exhausting having to deal with his constant mood swings. 

Last night was bad. He says he would never physically hurt you, but he’s gotten close to it before and it terrifies you. He grabbed your arm last night when you were trying to leave and this morning the bruise was already apparent. It was right above your wrist so it was going to be hard to hide, the humidity was insane and long sleeves did not seem like the move. But, you put on a long sleeve shirt anyway in an effort to hide it from your friends.

You arrive at the chateau, lugging your surfboard up the steps and letting out a huff. Beads of sweat were already forming at your hairline. You drop the surfboard on the floor of the porch and head inside. The rest of the pogues were in the back, Kie reading, and the guys playing soccer.

“Why does it always feel like we live in the actual jungle. The humidity is so disgusting my clothes are literally sticking to my skin.” You complain as you plop down into a plastic lawn chair. Your friends turn and smile at you, happy you finally arrived. John B and JJ run over and tackle you to the ground while Pope stands there laughing so hard that there are tears forming in the corners of his eyes. This is where you are the happiest, not with Rafe. It’s a red flag, one of the many you have chosen to ignore.

“Okay okay hello to you too, now get off!” You squeal. They climb off of you and sit in a circle.

“We haven't seen you in like, what? A week? Where have you been?” Kie asks. Your stomach starts to churn, Rafe doesn’t like it when you hang out with the pogues. The past week you’ve been with him or working.

“I was working, a lot, all the time.” You hope they believe your excuse. The boys seemed to believe it but Kie wasn’t having it as she raised an eyebrow and you gave her a look as to say ‘not now, please’. She nods, but you know that the next time you two are alone, she’s going to confront you.

“Okay well I need water or something because I am dying” Kie gets up and you can tell she wants you to follow.

“I’ll come with you, do you guys want anything?” You ask the guys, trying to seem less suspicious. A chorus of ‘beers’ rang out and you nodded, following Kie inside.

“So spill. I know you haven’t been working all the time because I called your mom and she told me you’ve been spending all of your time with Rafe recently. Yes, we hate him but you don’t have to hide that from us.” You can see worry in her eyes. Subconsciously you roll up your long sleeves, obviously overheating and needing some relief.

“Look, I don’t know why I don’t tell you when I see him. I honestly don’t” That was a lie. “He’s just frustrating sometimes and I don’t want to bring anyone into the relationship drama” You reach for the fridge and Kie kicks the door shut and grabs your hand lightly. 

“What’s this?” She asks in regards to the bruise Rafe left last night. Your stomach drops, your mouth goes dry and you don’t know what to say. 

“I was walking Ace and he just pulled a little too tight when another dog walked by that’s all, no big deal” You try to laugh.

“Y/n,” Kie shakes her head, nervousness filling your stomach. “This is not from a dog leash. You and I both know that. This literally looks like a handprint, like someone grabbed you way too hard. And it looks fresh as if it happened within the last day.” She says, releasing your arm and you bring your hands to your head, grabbing at your hair. ‘Don’t cry, don’t cry’ you repeat to yourself silently. But it doesn’t work. You choke out a sob.

“He doesn’t mean it. I know he doesn’t. He just gets really angry sometimes. It was my fault for trying to leave so early” Tears now falling and your breath starting to get falter.

“What is going on? Did I just hear what I thought I heard?” JJ slips in from the hallway, eyes almost all black, fits clenched and face bright red. This was the last thing you needed right now.

“JJ-” you try to calm him down but he just cuts you off.

“No. Do not ‘JJ’ me. Let me see your arm” You shake your head. “Y/n, I said let me see your arm!” He’s shouting now, causing you to cry harder, your body shaking. You stick out your arm and he spins and slams his hand through the wall.

“JJ!” Kie screams. 

“What the fuck” Pope yells as he and John B rush in, obviously hearing the screaming and slamming going on.

“I’m going to kill Rafe. I’m going to fucking kill him” JJ says in the darkest voice you’ve ever heard him use.

“JJ please. She’s been through enough for fucks sake. Look at her” Kie yells pointing in your direction. You’re now crumbled on the kitchen floor. He realizes what he’s done and rushes over and sits down next to you, immediately pulling you into his arms. He rubs your back and apologizes quietly for yelling, you know he just wants to protect you.

“Can someone please explain what is going on” John B runs his hand through his hair, flustered and confused.

Kie shakes her head no but JJ cuts in.

“Y/n has a bruise on her arm and she tried to play it off as if it was some accident her dog caused. It’s literally a handprint. Rafe fucking grabbed her, hard. He’s dead, I swear.” JJ keeps his tone surprisingly calm, remembering he scared you earlier.

“Ok well as much as I would love to kill Rafe,” Pope starts, “We would probably just be putting y/n in more danger.”

“Well we can’t sit and do nothing” JJ says.

“For once I agree with JJ” Kie states, “Not the killing part, obviously. But we can’t just do nothing. She’s obviously unsafe with him.”

“Well what do we do then?” John B asks, walking over as sliding down to sit on the other side of you. 

“I have to talk to him” You state, and everyone starts to tell you how that’s a bad idea and it’s risky etc. etc. “Let me continue. Jesus people, I’m not that dumb. As I was saying. I have to talk to him, but not alone. JJ” you turn and look at the boy “You’re coming with me.”

The group shouts, protesting against your wishes.

“Are you crazy, he’s going to either kill Rafe or get himself killed!” Kie yells.

“I thought you were the other smart one, what kinda plan is this y/n?'' Pope says, shaking his head.

“JJ can’t control his temper when it comes to you, this is not a safe plan” John B says looking over to you.

“Oh since when did you become the expert on safe plans JB? I know this sounds dumb. But Rafe gets scared of JJ when he’s alone, no Topper, no Kelce. I’m going to see him when he’s alone and JJ will be outside waiting in the car. I’ll be on speaker phone the entire time and if shit starts to hit the fan, and I expect it to, JJ will come in and help me.” You say, everyone falling silent. 

“Well” Kie starts, “That’s actually kinda genius. But can the three of us at least sit in my car down the road?”

“Yeah that’s probably best” You state as you stand up and look at your phone going to the “find my friends” app. “Well he’s home now, we should probably get going in case he leaves. I know for a fact he’s alone because Topper and Kelce are off golfing” You show them your phone with the boys’ various locations. 

“I guess having an overprotective, psycho boyfriend has given us an advantage today” Pope mumbles, referencing the fact that Rafe and all of his friends have your location at all times. You nod, the nausea starting to build in your stomach as you get more and more anxious.

You and JJ hop into the van and Kie, Pope and John B get into her car. The plan was to have Kie follow you but pull off the road before the Cameron’s giant driveway. You text Rafe that you’re coming over and get the thumbs up emoji in return causing an eye roll. If you needed any validation that this was the right decision, that was it right there. No enthusiasm or anything. You pull into the driveway and have JJ sit in back so no one sees. It wasn’t weird arriving in John B’s van, you often borrowed it at times because you liked it more than your own car, who wouldn’t? 

“I’ll run in there in a heartbeat if things start getting the tiniest bit heated” JJ says, taking your hand into his and squeezing. You nod at him, forming words right now is too difficult and you don’t want to risk crying beforehand. You rehearse the script you’ve been playing over and over in your head for the last hour. 

You get out of the car and drag your feet to the front door, opening it up and walking in. You spot Wheezie walking down the stairs, running to give you a hug. Rose pops her head out of the kitchen to yell a quick ‘Hi!” and goes back to cooking dinner. Thanking the universe that you were not alone in this house with just Rafe, you head upstairs. You call JJ and put the phone back into your back pocket so he can hear everything. Knocking softly on the door, you hold your breath as he swings the door open.

“Hi” he mutters, going back to the video game he was playing. Your jaw drops. His room is a mess, his eyes glossed over and rose tinted, the smell of weed emanating off of every object scattered across the room. 

“Uh hi.” You mumble back, staying close to the doorway so that this encounter would not happen behind closed doors. “Can we talk please?” your voice cracks, great start. He looks up at you confused but then starts to realize what's going on.

“You’re leaving me aren’t you?” He throws the controller onto the floor and stands up, making his way to you. You tense up.

“Rafe, I-” He cuts you off, face inches away from yours and fist colliding with the wall.

 “You can’t leave me, Y/n. You can’t.” You see sadness more than anger in his eyes and tears start to fall from your own. 

“I have to” you whisper.

“I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry for everything. I’ll do better I promise.” He starts to cry. This is usually when you give into him, but not today.

“I can’t do this anymore, Rafe. I’m exhausted.” You run your hand through your hair and he spots the bruise on your arm. He freezes in place, hand coming up to his mouth.

“Did I, did I do that?” He says reaching for your arm, but you tense and pull away. “Fuck!” He screams. “I don’t remember that. I swear. I never meant to do anything to hurt you.” You hear footsteps coming. You turn. Wheezie. Your heart drops, she just heard everything. She looks hurt and mad and storms over to Rafe.

“You let her leave this house now!” She screams, tears threatening to fall. More footsteps. Rose and JJ. Dear God, this is the last thing you need. You look over to JJ and shake your head and the two of them stop before they make themselves noticeable. 

“Wheezie stay out of this please” He says harshly.

“Rafe,” You break your silence. “I need to go. And I need you to let me go.” You say backing up. Thanking the universe that JJ was right there ready to run with you back to the car. Rafe tries to follow but Wheezie steps in between.

“Y/n please” He whispers and you just shake your head.

“Goodbye Rafe” You turn and walk towards JJ, grabbing his hand and running down the stairs. You want to wait to thank Rose and Wheezie, but you can’t risk staying in the house a minute longer so you remind yourself to text them after.

You get to the car and slide in the passenger seat as JJ hops in on the other side. All of a sudden a sob racks your body. You’re free. You’re finally fucking free. He just stares at you for a second before pulling out of the driveway and stopping next to Kie’s car. He gets out and opens the passenger door, climbing into the seat with you, pulling you on top of him. He holds you while you sob.

“You did it” He whispers into your hair, “I’m so proud of you”. He repeats his words over and over again and the three others step out of the car. He looks up and nods at them, confirming that everything was okay and you were finally free. Kie and Pope go back into her car as John B climbs into his and drives the three of you back to the chateau. 

Once you arrive, you climb out of the car and strip down to your underwear and walk to the water. You submerge yourself for as long as you can and rise to the surface, taking the deepest breath you’ve been able to take in a long time. You can finally breathe, you’re free. The rest of the pogues join you in the water and you go to hug JJ. You hold each other for what feels like two minutes.

“Thank you JJ” You say against his shoulder. 

“Anything for you, y/n” He squeezes you tighter. “Anything.”

[mousehole5000]

 this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!

this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it

oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys

“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out

god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”

“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.”  - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions

“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“

“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!

“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot

i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait

“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg

“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again

“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG

“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop

“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay

honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t

“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....

“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much

“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us

“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream

“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(

emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable

xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy

“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.”  - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts

“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough

although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god

fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?

okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing

“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)

okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl

“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king

the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(

that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and  everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool

but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*

[espship18]

Kpop ship for anotherstank-stark

Happy Saturday everyone! I didn’t expect to get this ship up as soon as I got to, but time came in handy for me for once! This ship is for @anotherstank-stark ! You were fun to ship, so let’s get into it!

Based off of your request, I learned these things about you: 

You’re 5′6 with brown hair and heterochromia 

You’re a hopeless romantic

Enjoys making people laugh and often laughs at own jokes

Enjoys longboarding 

Loves dogs, has a pup named Charlee

You don’t like heights 

Tri-lingual and learning a fourth language super impressive and respeKt

Likes science and learning random facts

Also, a music lover (: 

And in your request, you asked to be shipped with Got7, NCT, and Seventeen! You sound like a doll, so let’s get into it (: 

Got7: Yugyeom 

When I think of you and Yugyeom, all I can think of and see are two adorable dorks, which one happens to be tall and the other one is short. Also right off bat, I can see your and Yugyeom’s humor blending well together. With your jokes combined with Yugyeom’s literal long ass limbs flailing everywhere, the perfect recipe is created for a happy and healthy laughing environment. You will also laugh so hard sometimes, that you’ll be on the verge of peeing yourself and you’ll have to excuse yourself. When it comes to who fell for who, I feel like you would fall first for Yugyeom. It wouldn’t take long though for Yugyeom to see how much he was into you, and he would fall head over heels for you soon after. You’re also a very chill couple. Well, at least to the outside world you two are chill. You’re lovable and chill, and always cute. Then behind closed doors, you two are the cutest couple ever and you’re always loving on one another. I don’t know how to word this next part very well, but you and Yugyeom would have good body motion. Like, the way you two would move and interact with each others bodies and it would be extremely satisfying watching you two walk down a street. You’re just so good together visually, you work in unison. And just imagine that one day, you’re scrolling on your YouTube feed and a random video titled, “Y/n and Yugyeom being satisfying for four minutes straight” pops up and the whole video is of you and Yugyeom being sweet and cute at a fountain, and you two would be taking pictures together. Moving right along, I can see that Yugyeom’s boyfriend quirk would be singing to you. It doesn’t matter if it is real singing, lulling you to sleep, or him talking to you in a singing fashion, he would always be singing to you. OMg, imagine if when Yugyeom would express his love to you, he would do so by rapping. Yugyeom is clever as a song writer, so like, he would come up with some clever and VERY sweet ways to tell you ‘I love you’. Then it would be even cuter if you picked up on the ‘I love you’ rapping and you would have a little tradition of rapping your love for one another. Yugyeom would also love it a lot if you talked about science to him. Then if you would pull your hair up to get it out of the way as you explained a question to him, Yugy would look at you with such admiration. Date nights are chill and sweet! It’s all about quality time with each other and a collection of your favorite things. And he pays every time- no budging him on that. Then lastly, PDA wise, he would like to keep you close at all times so he could keep an eye on you. 

NCT: Jaemin 

Next up, we have this little cutie, and together we have two cuties who are hopelessly in love with each other. I’ll say it up front, Jaemin would give you the world. Jaemin would fall first, no issues with confirming that point, lol. And then after you and Jaemin would be an item for like three months, you would be telling your friend how much Jaemin does for you and luckily your friend would be like ‘YO, HE’S PERFECT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!’ And you’d be like ‘oh..holy heckles you’re right!’ Then you would just blossom from there (: You two would spend SOOOO much time together. Since Jaemin would have to work a lot, I can see you spending a lot of time in the studio with Jaemin while he works. And to be honest, I can even see you staying there with Jae in your spare time. Of course you know when to sit still, but with Jae around, you won't be sitting still for long. You would highkey overall love the atmosphere because you get to be surrounded by music almost all day long, and you do more than just hang out and look pretty. Jaemin would always want you to dance with him, whether it’s in the serious dancing form or being goofy in the practice room, your feet are gonna move. And I think it would be cute to add that sometimes you would get stolen from Jaemin. Every now and then, Renjun or Chenle would steal you to dance, and the only way that Jaemin could get you back is by a dance off. Sometimes Jae would win and sometimes he wouldn’t, and you would spend so much time dancing with Chenle, you two would become buddies. Okay, we’re gonna move on to a topic I’m cackling over. Okay. Jaemin-long boarding-in the dorm. Crack head Jaemin decides he wants to learn how to long board in the dorm, and as long as he’s safe, you’re down. So Jae can stay safe, you will literally steal every pillow and blanket you can find in the dorm and make a fort type of barrier to protect Jaemin, and you would even tape the pillows to Jae’s body. Thank god for helmets and pillows though, because Jaemin would most definitely fall and the helmet/pillow combo would save that poor boys skull. It was still fun though! Jaemin is more than happy to get on his hoverboard and let you pull him around, lol. You two are also little pranksters with one another. Your pranks would be innocent such as scaring each other, and you would only prank each other. Lastly, PDA wise, Jaemin would be so needy for you! He would love the snuggles and hugs from you, and he would whine often if he felt like he wasn’t getting enough love. I also think it would be cute if he gave you lots of forehead kisses. (: 

Seventeen: Joshua

And last but not least, your angel man. Joshua is such a gentleman that you two would have the good, old fashion type of relationship. Such as, Joshua picking you up for dates, him getting you flowers, him giving you his jacket- ugh, I’m jealous for what you’re about to get, hehe. When you two would meet, the stars would align perfectly and you two would just click instantly. I honestly can’t decide who would fall for each other first, but you two would be so smitten for each other. And of course, since Joshua is such a sweetheart, he would always give you 110% of effort to treat you like the queen you are- such as doing everything in his power to keep you happy. I think this would be sweet, and because I am dying to add Charlee in here, but a major way that you would know that Joshua would be the one is that the fact Charlee would L O V E Joshua! Not long after the two would meet, Charlee would get Joshua’s scent, and before you know it, the two cutie pies are playing in the floor and Charlee is licking Joshua all over! Holy smokes, imagine walking Charlee with Joshua! Picture this, you two are walking on the sidewalk, you have Joshua’s jacket on because it’s chilly, you have one hand intertwined with Joshua’s, and Joshua’s free hand is on Charlee’s leash. I love the imagine so much, we’re gonna further this image as to if you and Charlee traveled with Joshua while he would be working. The vibes and the sweet adventures you three would have together would be absolutely adorable! Carat’s would lose their shits in the best way possible, I know I would. And then omg, it would be even cuter if you two were little trivia nerds to each other! You two would be a couple where you would say ‘you wanna hear a fun fact?’ And Joshua would reply with ‘do YOU wanna hear a fun fact?’ Then you would say, ‘dO YoU wAnnA HeAR a jOkE?’ You two would do this all the time, and you would be laughing you butts off by the end of it every single time. Date night is so romantic omg! It would be Joshua’s specialty, and expect to be spoiled like a princess and be showered with flowers, and love, and you would be treated with such respect. Joshua Hong is the biggest gentleman ever and bro, you are so lucky to have him! Lastly, PDA. Very sweet and soft! Tender hand holding and knuckle kisses. Joshua would almost never let go of you if he would get you in his arms, and sometimes he would go as far as to walking with you WHILE STILL hugging you, and you can’t help but smile and give him an extra kiss..or two. (: 

As soon as I saw you are a hopeless romantic, the inspiration wall cracked and I caved in~ I had so much fun shipping you, and I hoped you enjoyed! <3

~STA

[heyyyharry]

Blackout (from the Flatmate!Harry Series)

…in which there’s a big storm, and Harry and Y/N cannot leave their flat.

Warning: fluff, and (finally) smut.

It’s 4 AM where I live and I’m supposed to get up at 7, but I cannot sleep soooo.

Ben tells Y/N not to move as he carefully layers another coat of nail polish on his neighbor’s pinky, looking pretty proud of himself for how nice it turns out. Y/N giggles. She’s never actually paid attention to her nails, let alone painted them herself. She tried and failed miserably, thank God Ben’s here for the rescue.

“Oooh I love this color, Ben! Harry’s so gonna make fun of me for this though!”

“Knowing Harry, he would still swoon over you, I guarantee!”

Harry’s on the phone with Niall in the living room and has no idea Y/N and Ben are in her room gossiping about him.

Y/N holds both hands in front of her to admire Ben’s art work, then says happily, “I should practice nail painting on Harry.”

“You should definitely!” Ben chuckles. “But seriously though, thank you for doing this.”

“Doing what? You were the one who did all the work for me.”

“Inviting me over, spending time with me. It’s been a rough couple days lately. It’s good to spend some time with somebody who’s not yourself.”

Y/N heaves out a smile as she stares empathetically at her neighbor. Yes, the main reason she invited Ben over was because he’d been devastated over his fiancé cheating on him then breaking off the engagement right after, but that’s not the only reason.

“To be honest, I also need to spend more time with someone else other than Harry.”

Ben looks at her with wide eyes and the girl has to clarify right away.

“I love Harry, I do. I enjoy spending every minute with him, but I’m kinda afraid I’d scare him off if I started acting too clingy, which is very likely to happen.”

“I think you’re just overthinking, Y/N. It’s normal to spend a lot of time with him, it’s unavoidable. I mean, you two live together!”

Y/N rolls her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest defensively. “True. But I don’t know…Harry’s not used to having a serious girlfriend. And I just…I want to be with him all the time, but I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

“So you’re obsessed with your boyfriend, big freaking deal.”

“You don’t get it.” She shakes her head in response to Ben’s confused expression. “Harry rarely hangs out with his friends anymore. I don’t want him to feel like he’s obliged to spend every second with me. And I read it online that if you spend too much time with your partner, it’s more likely that one of you, or maybe both, will get tired of each other.”

“Let me stop you right there and call it bullshit!” Ben interrupts Y/N, holding his forefinger in front of her face. “Look, honey. Why don’t you just enjoy being in love and let everything happen naturally? I think you’re trying way too hard.”

“How can I not?” Y/N lifts her shoulders. “I...He’s the only good thing that’s happened to me in a long time...I don’t want to screw this up.”

“Everything happens for a reason whether you like it or not, so you should, I don’t know, go with the flow I guess? Relationships are unpredictable, Y/N, just be happy and enjoy every moment of it.”

Y/N doesn’t reply to Ben, she stays silent. He can only hope his advice doesn’t go over her head.

…

“I’m telling you, she’s been keeping distance!” Harry keeps his voice down, but he has to raise his head from the sofa to check if the door of Y/N’s room is still closed. On the phone, Niall remains very calm in contrast to his best friend’s anxious state. Ever since Harry got a girlfriend, Niall has somehow become his love guru though he’s not a lot more experienced than his best friend when it comes to a serious relationship.

“Have you guys been having sex?“

“No, in fact, we haven’t. We’ve decided to wait.”

“For what? Marriage or her finding a guy who would fuck her? The latter would be more likely.”

“Wait until she’s ready, you dick!” Harry throws his head back on the arm rest and blows up his cheeks. “But I guess you’re partly right, maybe sex is the reason, because she said she was afraid that I’d leave her after we’ve had sex. We’ve talked about it already, but I feel like she’s still worried somehow.”

“Would you though? Leave her, I mean.”

“Of course not! It’s never about sex when it comes to Y/N.”

“Then prove it to her.”

“How?”

“I don’t know!”

“Jesus, Niall, what kind of advisor are you?”

“The kind that’s just as clueless as you are when it comes to stuff like this? You should get more friends.”

Harry sighs into his palm and nods. “Maybe I should.”

The conversation is suddenly interrupted by the laughters coming from Y/N’s bedroom. She walks out soon after, followed by Ben. Harry quickly tells Niall he would ring him back, then ends the call just in time his girlfriend and their neighbor returns to the living room.

“I have to be at work, but I’ll be done at seven and I’ll pick you up.”

“Great!” says Y/N, smiling as she holds the door open for Ben to leave.

“You’re going out with Ben tonight?” Harry frantically asks as he sits up straight on the sofa. His girlfriend closes the door and answers him with a firm nod.

“Yeah. Girls’ night out. Aren’t you going out with Niall?“

“No.” He shakes his head slowly. “I thought we were going to a movie.”

“No…We said next week.”

“We said today,” Harry asserts. He cannot be more certain because he remembers correctly everything Y/N has ever said to him (well, maybe minus the parts where she asks him to do chores or buy something on his way home). “But never mind. If you already have plan, we’ll go next week.”

Y/N only opens her mouth to speak when the power in the flat goes off all at once and she screams so loud that almost sends Harry flying off the sofa. He quickly walks towards the nearest window to open the curtain for some natural light, only to find the sun is setting, and it’s still raining cats and dogs.

Scattered showers pop up throughout the entire day, and Harry’s been hoping the weather would improve, but seemingly it only gets worse and worse as the day’s coming to an end. Now the only things he can make out through the thick, white rain curtain are the dim street lights and headlights from the vehicles rushing home to avoid the upcoming storm, which was mentioned in the weather forecast.

“Guess your plan’s cancelled.” Harry turns to Y/N, smiling a little bit. She sighs, but looks rather at ease.

“I guess so.”

...

Ben texts Y/N to let her know he’s safe from the storm, but is now stuck at a supermarket somewhere for it’s impossible to travel in this kind of weather. Harry follows Y/N into the kitchen, using his phone as a flashlight so she can see in the dark. She opens the cabinet and mumbles a small ‘yes’ when she finally finds the candles she’s been searching for. She bought them a while ago despite Harry complaining they would be a waste of money, now it’s been proven he was wrong and she was right.

As Y/N lights up several candles around the flat, Harry looks outside from the window, the sight in front of him could be taken straight out from a horror movie. The howling wind is slamming against the glass with violent force as if its intention was to break it and intrude into their living room. The rain’s pouring down harder than a waterfall, lightning strikes here and there, lighting up the sky for a second before vanishing, soon followed by the cracking sound of thunder shaking up the whole room.

“Stay close to me, I’m fragile…” Harry begs, clinging onto his girlfriend’s arm, making her giggle.

“What happened to ‘be the Lois Lane to my Superman’?”

“I was very inspired after that Superman movie, okay?”

The candles turn out to be a great idea, because their flat has been transformed from a horror classic to a Christmas film, all cosy and warm, the complete opposite of what’s going on outdoors. Harry’s settled on the sofa with his laptop lying on his belly, there’s no internet so he decides to work on his essay until his laptop runs out of battery. Y/N’s sitting on the floor beside him. She’s trying to follow Ben’s tips to paint her toe nails, it’s much more challenging when you do it in the faded candlelight though.

“Need any help?” Harry chuckles as he notices his girlfriend’s trembling fingers trying to not fuck up. She doesn’t look up at him now that her entire attention is on the tiny brush.

“As if you can do better,” she says. Harry immediately closes his laptop as a result, and moves to join her on the floor, sitting with his legs crossed.

“Psst. Gimme that!” With a smirk on his face, Harry takes the nail brush from his girlfriend, then slouches down a bit to carefully finish the first coat on her toe nail. Y/N widens her eyes in shock as it looks perfect on his very first attempt.

In response to Y/N’s reaction, Harry tells her, “I used to paint my nails.”

“No way.”

“Way. I thought black nail polish gave me the rock star look.”

Y/N can imagine Harry’s nail painted black and the thought of him touching her with those hands alone is enough to get her off mentally. 

“Let me paint your nails! It’d be so sexy.”

Her offer makes him snort. “I’m already sexy.”

“Even sexier!” she says, holding her hands together, big round eyes staring at him. “Please?”

He cannot say no to her, not after she’s pulled the puppy dog eyes and used that magic word on him. So Harry voluntarily gives her his hand and allows her to do whatever she wants with it, same goes with his heart. He is such a fool for her.

Y/N does struggle a little bit at the beginning, but with Harry’s guidance she's able to finish one hand, then she stops because she gets tired. 

“Hey, I want a refund. Do both!”

“You can do your left hand on your own, should be a piece of cake to you.” Y/N giggles then gives his right hand a kiss. “Seriously though, I’m impressed. I feel like there’s still so many things I haven’t learnt about you.”

“Well...” Harry takes a deep breath. “Now since we have nothing to do, why don’t we play a game of Truth or Truth to get to know each other better?”

“Truth or Truth?” Y/N stares at him funny.

“Like Truth or Dare, but you can only pick truth.”

“Sounds more like a police interrogation to me!”

“You’re in or not, Y/N?”

“In. I’m in.” Y/N clears her throat, tries her best not to laugh and sits up straight. “Okay, I will ask you first, because you know about me more than I do about you.”

“Fair enough.”

“Okay, Harry, when did you lose your first kiss and your virginity, and who did you lose them to?”

Harry presses his lips together as he throws his head back to look at the ceiling, thinking for a little while before he answers, “so I was fifteen when I lost both to the same person, an old friend of mine. Her family moved away a year later and I haven’t spoken to her since.”

Y/N furrows her eyebrows at Harry, clearly not happy to hear that answer. “What’s her name?”

“Olivia. Why?” Harry snorts, slightly amused by the obvious jealousy written on Y/N’s face. He loves to drive her mad, it’s been like that since the first time they met. “Told ya I haven’t talked to her in years, baby.”

“I thought I was your first real crush.”

“You are." Harry reaches out to stroke his girlfriend’s cheek and feels her soften all at once. “Ollie and I didn’t even date. We were kind of close friends, I’d known her since we were in middle school. We did it because we were just horny and curious, no romance involved, I assure you. Then she moved away and we lost touch.”

“Ollie and I,” Y/N mocks Harry’s voice, her arms crossed sternly in front of her chest. Harry scoots closer to her and pulls her onto his lap all of a sudden, making the girl squeal in shock. Still she doesn’t protest and eventually wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

“I hate her,” she whispers against Harry’s lips with her eyes shut. She has no idea how much he’s enjoying how cute she looks when she’s jealous.

“Don’t hate her. She’s a stranger now. You’re my girl,” says Harry, staring at Y/N deep in the eyes then presses his thumb gently against her bottom lip. “Aren’t you?”

“I am. I’m your girl.” He makes her so fucking weak it’s embarrassing sometimes.

“Now, my turn to ask.” Harry chuckles and Y/N suddenly remembers they’re in the middle of this stupid Truth or Truth game. The sexual tension has made it impossible for her to concentrate and she secretly praises him for keeping his cool.

“Who’s your first crush? I know it ain’t me.”

Y/N giggles at the pout on his face. “One of my classmates in fifth grade. I thought he was cute, always helped me with Math and shared me his food at lunch.”

“Lameeee. Hate him already.”

“We were kids!” Y/N laughs, fingers toying with the hair at the back of Harry’s head. “Have I told you about my first time having sex?”

“Yeah, with your prom date, right?”

Y/N nods her head yes. “I was so drunk, and heartbroken that my ex-boyfriend cheated on me a few days before Prom. Having sex that night was the stupidest decision I’ve ever made. Had I waited a couple years later, I could’ve done it with you.”

“You mean...”

The look on Harry’s face cracks Y/N up. She nods fast. “If it was possible, I would want you to be my first, Harry.”

“Oh...” is Harry’s response because he’s utterly speechless, his inner voice, however, is screaming with joy. She must trust him a lot to even think about having him take her virginity, which, unfortunately will never happen, yet knowing so makes him thrilled to bits.

“I love you. Why’s it so hard to believe?” Y/N asks quietly with her forehead pressed against his and their noses touching. Harry closes his eyes and heaves out a heavy sigh.

“Lately you’ve been keeping your distance so I thought...”

Y/N immediately pulls away then grabs his face with both of her hands. “No, no, no. Gosh, the only reason I’ve been doing that is because I want to give you space. I noticed that you rarely went out with your friends anymore, don’t want you to change your life completely for me.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Y/N, I rarely go out with my friends anymore because they either get completely wasted or find some random hookups. You don’t want me to do that, do you?”

She shakes her head rapidly without a second thought. Harry smiles at her contently.

“I don’t want to either. I have you now. Cheesy as this may sound, I’d choose staying at home doing homework with you over any party.”

And Y/N cannot stop grinning as she replays that sentence over and over again in her head. She says to him, “you turning into an anti social for me is the most romantic thing you’ve ever done.”

Harry places one hand on his left chest and pretends to be in so much pain. “You making jokes during my romantic moments is the least romantic thing you’ve ever done.”

“That makes two of us.” Y/N relaxes her shoulders and slides her hands from the back of his head down to his chest. In the soft candlelight, he watches her smile slowly fades away. She sucks in a breath then lets it all out. “I know I shouldn’t think too much about this, but I cannot help it...I’ve dealt with assholes my entire life, thinking that I’d be better off alone. And then you happened...and I can’t imagine losing you.”

“Baby...” Harry throws his head back as he secures his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer to him. “To be honest, I’m just as scared as you are, but looking back, my life kinda took its turning point on the day we met and it’s been a crazy ride but I’ve never been happier. Why don’t we just enjoy the moment and not worry too much about the future?” He takes her hands from his chest and holds them tight. “Right now, it’s just you and me against the world. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Y/N gives Harry a nod and leans in to reattach their lips, slightly pushing him down so he’s lying on his back and she's on top of him. Her fingers get lost in his hair whilst his find their way from her knees to her bottom then slide under her shirt, resting on her bare back after given a nod as her permission. This is the furthest they’ve gone in this relationship, but it’s not enough for Y/N. She wants him more than this. She has no idea what’s gotten into her when she straight off tells him, “I’m ready. Let’s do it.”

Harry, still trying to catch his breath, stares at his girlfriend in disbelief. Was she drunk, he would blame it on the alcohol, but she’s sober, and this is so unlike her, the pure and innocent Y/N he’s always known. He cannot say he’s not enjoying this.

“You’re sure?”

“Do I look like I’m not?”

“Feisty.” Harry chuckles, placing one hand at the back of her head, bringing her mouth back on his own as he flips them over so he’s now on top. 

“Do you want to move this to the bed?” he asks and she shakes her head. The only thing she wants right now is him. 

“Good, neither did I,” he admits and closes the space between them again. They’ve been waiting so long for this, they cannot wait any longer, even just a minute. Though having sex on the floor is not exactly the romantic scenario they’ve expected, with all the candles all around them, it’s pretty close, they would say. 

Harry and Y/N break apart for a brief second to pull his t-shirt off and hers soon follows, tossed away on the floor somewhere, leaving her half-naked in front of him for the first time. By the glow of the candlelight, he thinks she’s even more stunning, the shadows dancing across her features, accentuating the color of her hair. He parts his lips, wanting to tell her how beautiful she looks, but she’s already one step ahead of him.

“You’re so beautiful,” she breathes and his eyes sparkles with passion. 

“So are you,” he admires before coming back to her, pressing his nose to the dip of her throat and inhaling her, drunk with her scent. She’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Harry holds his breath, slowly tracing his fingertips across her skin as if she was made of glass, easily breakable. 

The rest of their clothes soon come off, Y/N feels so vulnerable and exposed. This is not her first time having sex, why does it feel like it is? Maybe because of the way Harry’s caressing her cheeks, constantly asking if she’s okay, telling her how beautiful she is, the things that she didn’t get to hear on her actual first time. She’s so lost in him, completely infatuated by him. She believes she belongs to him, and even if she wanted to, she could never leave.

The rain is still thumping against the window, but all Harry and Y/N can hear is each other’s breathing and heartbeats. They’ve lost track of time as they kiss, two bodies kneading against each other. It’s all new to Harry, he’s never made love before, because he’s never been in love with anyone else. He knows this isn’t the first for neither of them but he wants to take his time with her, to make her feel good because she deserves that. 

Y/N lets out a light moan when his fingers find their way into her heat and he has to audibly remind her to start breathing again. He lays kisses all over her face, letting her know how good she feels and how much he loves her. It doesn’t take too long for Y/N to start squirming and biting on her bottom lip as she feels her release building, but she wants to fall over the edge with him inside of her so she grabs his wrist and stops him just in time. 

Harry withdraws his hand from her thigh and brings his fingers to his lips to lick them clean, the sight of it makes Y/N groan in desperation. She takes no time to bring his lips back to hers, tasting herself in the warmth of his mouth. It’s crazy how she hasn’t even reached her high yet and he’s already got her seeing stars.

Y/N pets Harry’s cheek as he pulls back and looks down at her. 

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.” His voice almost breaks as he holds her close and she clings to the back of his head. “I don’t want you to leave.”

His last words nearly bring her to tears. With all the shitty relationships in the past she almost thought no one would ever love her for real, now he’s here, telling her she’s everything he’s ever wanted, begging her to stay, proving all her doubts and fears wrong. He’s like her knight in shining armor.

“I’m not gonna leave, not ever,” she says, and she means every single word. 

"I love you,” he mumbles against her lips for the hundredth time, then lifts her legs to his hips as Y/N reaches down to take him in her palm, her sudden touch makes his breath hitch. 

“Wait...Condom,” he murmurs as his eyelids flutter and Y/N quickly assures him that she’s on the pills. Without hesitation, she slips the very tip of him inside her, the tightness causes both of them to gasp. 

She gives him a sly smile, holding his eye contact as she feels him slowly sink himself deep inside her. It takes her a while to adjust to this pleasing unfamiliarity. Harry thrusts slow and deep, causing his name to fall from her lips again and again. He holds her eye contact still, even though both of them are fighting to keep their eyes open. There’s no part of him that she cannot feel, and the feeling is just overwhelming. Harry’s eyes squeezing shut as he drops his head to her chest. She kisses his hair, fingers crawling down his back, letting the pleasure take over. The movement of his hips speeds up and Y/N feels the heat spreading through her veins. 

“Oh God, baby, fuck,” Harry curses against her skin while lifting both of their hips to get a better angle. Y/N arches her back as uncontrollable soft moans fall from her lips. She feels his entire body tense as well as her own.

“I’m so close,” she says breathlessly and he pushes her hair from her face, slipping his hand between their moving bodies to circle his finger tips against her clit, causing her to suck in a breath and clings tighter to his shoulders. 

“Let go baby,” he coaxes softly, his hips moving in time with his hand as he cries out when her walls clench tight around him.

Another moan escapes Y/N’s lips as she struggles to hold off her release. Harry speeds up slightly, goes a little deeper and harder and Y/N starts falling apart in his shaking arms. Harry’s mouth falls open, his brows pulled in and his eyes fight to stay open to witness her reaching her climax, repeating his name over and over again. He pushes though, even though his whole body is coming apart, and they both cry out until there’s nothing left they can give each other. 

All out of breath, Harry flips them over so she’s lying on his chest and he wraps his strong arms around her delicate body. They lay there on the floor, their breaths gradually come in sync after a little while and Y/N’s obliviously beaming when Harry tightens his grip and holds her close. Those small flickering flames around them grow dimmer every moment as the wax melts down, but Y/N can still make out a smile twitching at Harry’s lips. He takes her hand which is resting on his chest and raises it to his lips.

“If you’re wondering, we had sex, and I still love you.”

“I’m not wondering.” She kisses his cheek, closing her eyes and sighing. “And I love you too.”

[summerseachild]

Summersea’s GoT Season 4 Rewatch 2019

Otherwise known as: “The Long Slow Slide to D and D Running Out of Material from the Books”

4x01: 

1. The visuals of Ice getting melted down are SO PRETTY (while RoC plays on the background 😎 living my best Lannister Life over here.)

2. Jaime getting the sword and trying NOT to be Lord of Casterly Rock and HOLY SHIT TELLING TYWIN NO and getting away with it.

3. Tyrion is trying so hard to greet the Dornish politely... poor guy.

4. It’s pride month so I’m just pointing out that Oberyn is soooo biiiii and This Bi Girl loves him. And him playing with the flame and Ellaria trying to stop him from killing the Lannister who insulted him... I just love their dynamic.

5. Drogon is just a big happy dragon-Cat and in Dany’s first appearance of this season. He PURRS.

6. I love Jaime and Cersei’s scene with Jaime’s new hand. They snipe at each other, but it is SO how they interact.

7. Jon and Sansa reacting to Robb’s death :(

8. GUESS WHO DID NOT MISS JANOS SLYNT OR ALLISER THORNE AT ALL THATS RIGHT MEEEE. Also Alliser is Peter Knox in a Discovery of Witches so I just HATE HIS FACE.

9. TREAT THAT BOOK MORE CAREFULLY JOFFREY YOU LITTLE SHIT and treat your uncle more nicely too. Jaime looks a little taken aback at what a little turd his oldest has become, but handles it well I think.

10. Jaime and Brienne trying to sort out how to keep his vow to Catelyn 🤣

11. YES ARYA GET NEEDLE BACK. Also Sandor being like NO CHILD COME BACK HERE DO NOT RUSH INTO DANGER WITHOUT ME is precious.

12. Sandor Clegane saying FUCK THE KING gives me such satisfaction

13. I should not be so happy about Arya re-enacting the time when Polliver

14. But I am happy that Sandor got his chickens

4x02

1. So I had forgotten that the girls who were in the scene where Theon gets cut are Myranda and the girl Ramsay is hunting later. I remembered how much I hate the Myranda thing real quick, though.

2. I love Tyrion being understanding of Jaime’s disability because HE WOULD BE. Also Tyrion pouring wine on the table to be like “look spilling is no big deal” is PRECIOUS.

3. Bronn knocking Jaime around while sparring is a great source of joy to me.

4. Theon finds out that Robb is dead when he’s got a RAZOR TO RAMSAY’S THROAT I can’t with Alfie’s face.

5. Every time I see Joffrey chop that book in half I want the purple wedding to be right now.

6. Tyrion trying to make Shae leave :...(

7. KEEP AWAY FROM SHIREEN, RED WOMAN, said Davos probably a lot

8. Question: why don’t the direwolves being food BACK to the hungry humans? Especially when Bran can warg into them?

9. So I want to go through every frame of that vision Bran has with the weirwood because the one we haven’t seen before is a Dragons over King’s Landing. Those ARE THE ROOFS YOU SEE IN THE NEXT SHOT FOR THE WEDDING.

10. Haha oh right this IS the purple wedding ep ooops I’d almost forgot. Not sorry for wishing death on Joffrey but sorry for Cersei’s sake and everyone else it fucks over.

11. Loras having eye sex with Oberyn cracks me up I mean they both have eyes and good gaydar... (bi-dar? queer-dar?)

12. Is Margaery... flirting with Brienne? Or is that just Margaery’s personality?

13. JAIME’S FACE when he sees Brienne and Cersei talking is SO FUNNY he’s like shit shit shit DANGER

14. What did Qyburn DO for Cersei that she is recommending to other women? She told him symptoms were gone in a previous ep in a weird mysterious way... did he help her end a pregnancy?? How long has it BEEN since Blackwater? This never comes back again but I’m super curious. 

15. Oberyn has zero chill around Tywin and I love it.

16. Margaery looking like she is is going to murder someone during the war of the five Kings show is A Mood. (I mean... there IS about to be a murder.)

17. I don’t think the Tyrells planned it but Joffrey being a shit and making Tyrion touch his wine goblet and SANSA TOUCHING IT TOO played right into their hands.

4x03: oh brother here comes altar sex

1. I want very much for Hector Barbossa to be waiting at the top of that ladder for Sansa after approaching the ship and the creepy fog. But no it’s Petyr Baelish. Ew.

2. Hello new Tommen! Good to see you again after Karstark killed your identical cousin! Also Tywin being like GOOD KINGS ARE SMART AND LISTEN TO THEIR SMART ADVISORS. (That moment when a sitting US president needs to listen to Tywin. Scary?)

3. Altar sex has not aged well for me. I’m not a J/C shipper who thinks they’ve got a healthy relationship that’s all sunshine and kitties. I know the two of them have a messed up dynamic, but this scene misses the mark in so many ways and I hate it. I wish they would have left it out rather than done it wrong. (Also I think it was a tryout for me for “can you get a valonqar scene right?” And the answer was a resounding NO.)

4. Speaking of healthy relationships though Sam and Gilly are cute and sweet and awkward and everything that is good and pure in this world.

5. And so is Davos telling Shireen about his smuggling adventures.

6. Oberyn sat his beautiful self right in the middle of the Kinsey scale and said THE VIEW IS GREAT HERE. What an icon. Also offering Tywin fricking Lannister a seat on the bed where you were just having sex with like FOUR DIFFERENT PEOPLE was A Move.

7. Tywin TELLS OBERYN ABOUT DANY and Oberyn looks like this is the first he’s heard of it.

8. Tyrion saying goodbye to Pod gave me a decent sized lump in my throat.

9. Daario taking down the Champion Of Meereen with one thrown dagger and one slash of a sword is sexy as fuck and I don’t care who knows I think so.

4x04

1. Missandei teaching Grey Worm and just hanging out with him is so important to me this time around.

2. Jaime and Bronn are weird friends and I kind of love it.

3. The Kingslayer Brothers: coming soon to a stage near you. I’d buy that band’s shirt.

4. Olenna Tyrell is a STONE COLD LADY and I love that about her. She protected her granddaughter and I respect that.

5. That is A LOT OF WINE IN THAT GLASS Cersei my love. Also Jaime TRYING to convince her Tyrion didn’t do it hurts me. He loves them both so much, but they all hurt each other.

6. Ser Pounce is a big fluff like my Freya!

7. OATHKEEPER AND THE WHITE BOOK AND THE ARMOR. Brienne’s face is so pure when he gives it to her.

8. I had near forgotten all of this stuff at the wall with Olly and Jon and the cannibals and the mutineers at Craster’s and waiting for Mance’s army. (We know where my heart is though, don’t we...)

9. SIT DOWN LOCKE. I forgot that human shitstain showed up at the wall looking for Bran.

10. We didn’t need the mutineer plot. What did it add? What did we learn about the world or its people? Nothing we didn’t already know. What. Was. The. Point. We’d already seen the walkers and knew about the babies, we knew the world was violent and classist. WE KNEW.

11. I love when Summer is like HELLO BROTHER GHOST OH NO A TRAP

12. The white walker riding across the frozen lake... what a gorgeous image, and the ice henge...

13. WHAT DO THE BLUE EYED ICE BABIES GROW UP TO BEEEEE DO WE EVEN KNOW

4x05

1. I’d say long live King Tommen, but I’d cry.

2. Cersei is beauty she is grace she wants to punch Margaery in the face. (But actually is acting like she might need Margaery to help Tommen? That scene was hard to read.)

3. Meereen has a lot of cool geometrical carvings.

4. Dany thinking about what kind of ruler she wants to be and what responsibilities she has to the people she freed? THAT IS WHO SHE IS, D AND D YOU DICKS.

5. Sansa’s like “greeeeeaaaaat another creepy little kid” when she meets Robin.

6. And Lysa lets it ALL OUT about what Petyr has had her do... wow.

7. Cersei is going along with the Tyrell marriages way too easily what is her game.

8. Tywin is... almost treating his daughter like someone he can trust and have a conversation with? What is this?

9. And then there’s the stupidity about the mines running out. Wtf.

10. Arya is a little drama queen with saying the Hound’s name last while HE WAS LISTENING.

11. Lysa is SO DAMAGED. Poor Sansa.

12. Aw Brienne you don’t know what a loyal kid you’ve got in Podrick give him a chance.

13. Arya practicing water dancing is so cool.

14. Cersei and Oberyn talking is actually really interesting. And they talk about Myrcella :....( and Oberyn is TELLING THE TRUTH about her being happy.

15. Cersei got her A BOAT for her birthday because she LIKES THE OPEN WATER I had forgotten that and I am freaking out for fic reasons because of fics I haven’t written yet that involve Myrcella being good at boats.

16. Geez Pod I don’t know how to skin a rabbit but I know you need to before you cook it. And... does Brienne actually need help with that armor, or does she realize Pod needs to feel useful? I’m going with the second.

17. I had forgotten how creepy Jojen’s visions were.

18. Bran warging into Hodor and killing Locke is... problematic, but Bran had every reason to think Locke was going to kill him. Good fucking riddance.

19. Jon being happy to see Ghost XD

20. So... there’s just a troop of Crasters daughters out there still? Idek.

4x06 the laws of gods and men (and by men we mean Tywin)

1. Braavos is so pretty! I love her. I love her canals, I love the Titan, I love the domes, I just love her.

2. I remember when people lost their shit over Mark Gattis being in this episode. He is quite good here, and Davos is quite clever.

3. Salador’s joke about the red shirt is FUNNY and I’m not afraid to say so.

4. No one wants to see Ramsay having sex.

5. EVERYONE wants to see Yara giving a great speech.

6. She... ran from some dogs when she was burying her axe in dudes’ GUTS five seconds earlier? LAAAAAAME. Yes yes she also saw how fucked up in the head Theon was (more awards Alfie deserved and didn’t get), and she did want to lose any more people when he wasn’t willing to come but the way this was cut it reads like she was all OH NO DOGS which is the stupidest thing ever. 

7. NOOOO POOR GOATS. I get that dragons have to eat though...

8. I cannot believe Dany didn’t take the time to FIND OUT WHICH MEEREENESE WERE LESS TERRIBLE. They would have been fucking allies. BUT NO LET’S JUST CRUCIFY PEOPLE WITH NO IDEA OF THE NUANCES OF THE LOCAL SITUATION. What stupidity.

9. At least she’s trying to learn??? She’s so small on that throne in a huge room. What a great shot.

10. Oberyn is a bisexual who CANNOT SIT IN A CHAIR NORMALLY. I am not complaining.

11. I cannot see the scene of Jaime and Tyrion walking down into the courtroom for the trial without giggling at the memory of the outtake where they dance like dorks into the room and down the aisle.

12. Jaime looking at Tyrion like YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOURSELF is a mood.

13. How did they get the poison necklace? Didn’t Littlefinger throw it in the Blackwater FAR off shore? A bit AFTER he killed Dontos? How does Pycelle have it here? Maybe they washed up together? Maybe D and D forgot Petyr tossed it in the bay? WHO KNOWS???

14. Jaime trying to convince Tywin one last time and offering to leave the kingsguard in exchange for Tyrion HOLY SHIT I FORGOT HE DID THAT. Cersei never would have spoken to him again if he’d left her and married and gone back to the Rock and given Tywin what he wanted. Jaime KNEW he was screwing over a relationship that means SO MUCH TO HIM but it’s TYRION’S LIFE we’re talking about here. That’s how much he loves his little brother. 

15. Tywin is like DONE so fast Jaime barely gets the offer out lol

16. And it all would have worked if Shae hadn’t walked through those doors.

17. Do we know WHY Shae agreed to testify to this? What did Tywin offer her or threaten her with?

18. WHAT ARE YOU DOING LITTLE BRO WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS?! is Jaime’s face all the time this scene.

19. Tyrion’s “confession”is such a piece of acting wow Peter enjoy your Emmys.

4x07

1. Jeez Tyrion didn’t know Jaime COULDN’T save him. He had no idea that losing his hand had affected his abilities that badly. That... hurts.

2. Arya, Sandor, and the dying farmer is such a great scene... And Arya only killing that asshole only after Sandor learns his name for her so she knows the name of the man she’s killing.... A++ would watch again.

3. Everyone LISTEN TO JON he has seen things none of you have.

4. Tyrion finding out Bronn has been bought is so very upsetting but I love this scene.

5. But really though once Tywin named The Mountain champion, anyone who Tyrion asks to be his champion at this point he’s basically asking to die.

6. Dany’s like “well I guess fucking Daario isn’t going to cause a political disaster at least.”

7. I had forgotten how fascinating Selyse and Melisandre’s interactions are.

8. IS THAT SETTING UP BURNING SHIREEN FUCK THAT.

9. Dany is capable of nuanced thought when it comes to innocence and guilt of whole groups of people and WE JUST SAW IT with how Jorah changes her mind and I’m JUST SO ANGRY.

10. That is the only time we get the story of Sandor and the fire from his own mouth and I did not mean to be this moved.

11. Hot Pie talking about food (oh yeah and Arya) is so precious. And now I want steak and kidney pie. With gravy.

12. “Using honest feelings to do dishonest work is one of her greatest talents.” The truest thing Tyrion has ever said about Cersei.

13. What a great snow castle. Too bad Joffrey part 2 knocked it down.

14. Ew ew ew Petyr kissing Sansa is so skeevy and gross.

15. “A great deal might change between now and never” is a great line though.

16. I hate Petyr but it’s good he pushed Lysa out the Moon Door before she killed Sansa.

4x08

1. Jon and Co all reminding Sam that Gilly is a survivor is so great. Brotherhood at its best.

2. Missandei and Grey Worm are young people with old souls and their relationship is precious to me.

3. Alfie is SO GOOD at showing how deeply Ramsay has him under his control even when he’s alone with the Ironborn.

4. Petyr is part Braavosi? Fascinating.

5. Sansa TOLD the Lords of Vale who she was??? Her testimony is such a good bit of acting on Sansa’s part. It’s a lie hidden in a lot of truth, and she was QUICK to think it through and come up with it.

6. Jorah telling Dany about the pardon is a scene that breaks my heart. 💔 She is HARSH here but I love the full blown Targaryen on display.

7. Roose being like TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE like the Lion King cracks me up so hard.

8. I will never give Ramsay the Bolton name in anything I write as long as I am a fan of this show out of pure hatred. He is Ramsay Snow forever and always.

9. I remember I was so worried that they were going to have Petyr try to sexually assault Sansa. OH I WAS A SWEET SUMMER CHILD.

10. Arya laughing at the news of Lady Arryn’s Death is an immensely human reaction and I love that she just CANNOT STOP.

11. I know people hated that scene with Jaime and Tyrion talking about beetles but I have two takeaways: first, a septon tried to touch Jaime once???? Headcanon: Little Jaime looked that septon dead in the eye and said “my father wouldn’t like that” and it never happened again. The septon was summarily replaced. Second: Jaime has never thought about ANYTHING in his whole life as deeply as baby Tyrion thought about beetles.

12. Oberyn is so fun to watch fight and Jaime agrees with me.

13. You don’t need him to confess Oberyn really you don’t you GOT HIM my beautiful prince.

14. How did the Gods make their will known if BOTH champions killed each other dead, huh Tywin? (The Mountain is... less Dead?)

4x09

1. Sam mulling over the legalistic interpretation of their vows and Jon trying to explain what sex and love are like are both SO CUTE.

2. I love that everyone around that fire has heard the “Tormund fucked a bear” story and I’m kind of sorry Ygritte didn’t let him finish.

3. Maester Aemon revealing his Targaryen identity was lovely. Also Sam Cussing to get Gilly in the gate= AMAZING

4. Alliser Thorne ADMITTING HE WAS WRONG? I am dead of shock.

5. Sam and Pyp talking about fear and bravery is... so darling.

6. They have A GIANT RIDING A MAMMOTH and I will forgive a small amount of nonsense for giving me that image.

7. See Alliser looking at the horn blower like REALLY? IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF MY SPEECH? Before they realize it’s the horn at Castle Black is PRICELESS.

8. Speaking of which I may not like Alliser but he gives a good “let’s not die” speech.

9. Bless Grenn for getting Janos Slynt off the wall.

10. Pyp dying in Sam’s arms was not something I was ready for.

11. You’ve heard of horsepower... now get ready for MAMMOTH POWER (wildling used mammoth salesmen probably)

12. Sam remembering that being NICE to Olly when asking to go up the wall rather than just screaming at him is... telling.

13. Grenn is THE BEST KID AND I LOVE HIM

14. Ghost is going to EAT SOME WILDLINGS

15. Ygritte :...(

16. How is Tormund even ALIVE??? He’s like a frickin PIN CUSHION.

17. “They held the gate” is a line that will make me cry now. Grenn and co. Didn’t let that giant through :...(

3x10: back when D and D remembered the Children existed that one time

Also back when Jaime had a plan that didn’t end with ANY OF HIS FAMILY KILLING EACH OTHER BUT TYWIN ENDS UP DEAD ANYWAY WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS.

1. Jon deciding single-handedly that he’s going to KILL Mance Rayder. Boss move.

2. Oh FFS. Pull the stick out of your ass Stannis and let Mance be.

3. Qyburn is like “out of my way bitch I’m doing necromancy”

4. Cersei telling Tywin the truth to get out of Marrying Loras is... still... making my jaw drop and I KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DO IT. And there’s ACTUAL EMOTION on Tywin’s face and EVERYTHING SHE SAYS ABOUT PAYING SOME REAL FUCKING ATTENTION TO HIS FAMILY IS TRUE

5. Ah yes “Jaime writes his family’s dialogue” part one. I CHOOSE YOU OMG AND SEX IN THE LORD COMMANDER’S OFFICE I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT THAT. Even if I’m still on the fence about whether Jaime would be ok with doing it THERE I’m mostly on board because she JUST TOLD DAD THE TRUTH AND TOLD HIM HE WAS THE ONE SHE WANTED AND I DON’T KNOW WHO LET THE SHIPPERS WRITE THIS SCENE BUT YAY.

6. Dany is still learning all kinds of nuance... I feel like the year contract thing was an attempt to balance her need to be a liberator and the reality on the ground?

7. You are telling me that the Dany who was that upset at Drogon eating ONE child let him burn a WHOLE CITY? I call bullshit.

8. Also this is a CLASSIC example of “one sibling does something wrong and the other two get punished for it” poor Viserion and Rhaegal.

9. Maester Aemon knows how to give a mass eulogy.

10. MEANWHILE NORTH OF THE NORTH HI BRAN meet the hugest weirwood in Westeros AND SOME ICE ZOMBIES

11. POOR MEERA I FORGOT SHE HAD TO HELP JOJEN DIE

12. If the children can do that WHERE ARE THEY LATER

13. holy shit bloodraven is creepy

14. Arya and Brienne meeting :) so cute

15. And Sandor being like YOU ARE TOO NAIVE TO PROTECT HER is cute in its own way.

16. Wow Brienne and Sandor really knock the shit out of each other how are they still alive.

17. Sandor saying awful things to Arya to make it easier for her to kill him was tragic and you can see the desperation in his eyes even as he says the worst of it.

18. JAIME LANNISTER MAKES DECISIONS HE WILL REGRET LATER LIKE NOT GOING ALL OF THE WAY TO THE BOAT WITH TYRION

19. I Had forgotten how rough that last conversation between Tywin and Tyrion was and how devastating those performances are.

20. Varys being like oh fuck those bells I’m going too... prescient.

21. Love the music with Arya on the ship to Braavos!

[sierrabinondo]

summer tour 2018 - days 1 - 4

welp tumblr i am back again with a new tour recap!!! people liked this last time so here i am i guess

this tour recap is mostly for my own reasons. there’s something different about documenting something life-changing and important to yourself on a social media site you’ll probably be subject to visiting again without trying, as opposed to writing it by hand which hurts after a while or in a word document that you’ll never open.

my band with sails ahead just embarked on our longest tour ever. 11 shows, no off days. we somehow still got sleep, ate well (and went broke for it), and didn’t get sick. it wasn’t perfect every night, but it was still rewarding even in the smallest possible ways. 

i decided to recap this across several posts as an easier way to read everything instead of one long one that would serve as a painful, arduous read. so here are days 1-4.

day 1 - asbury

our tour kicked off in asbury, so we were home for our first day. it was sort of difficult to get in the mindset for tour but once destination dimension arrived i was good.  

in asbury i always passed this storage trailer-looking building with palm trees all around it. it turns out it’s called outpost city, and it’s an oasis for touring musicians to come hang out while on the road. it’s invite-only (i think?? PLEASE check me), and we were contacted a week before tour started to go check it out. i already promised work i was going to work a full day my last day but hooooly we could not turn this down. this place had a lounge area, a small demo studio, free wifi, and a general store with product placed in there by brands that you could grab FOR FREE. as long as we tagged the brands on all of our social media the stuff was ours. we spent a few hours there before the brewery show and it was really fun. i had to do work the whole time as a result of leaving work early haha, but i still enjoyed it a lot.

Photo: Julie Yi Photography

the brewery show was awesome. i didn’t play the greatest set so i was super bummed haha, at least i don’t think, but we had a great turnout. the line-up was awesome and we got to see a lot of friends.  sound was amazing and as always the brewery is just the coolest venue.  really grateful we could finally play here. i was so glad people showed up early to see destination dimension so that they at least had a crowd. a lot of my friends cared about making it in time for them which was nice of them. it was incredibly weird to have ryan watch us while another drummer was playing with us, we all felt so bad. we were so distraught leading up to this tour about him not joining us due to his carpal tunnel, but we had no choice. our friend and fill-in drummer matt shindle killed it and the show made us excited for the rest of the run. i think i said a cool and inspiring thing that made everyone yell very excitedly but then i followed it up with some lame shit so it ruined the moment lmao. 

Photo: Julie Yi Photography

i returned back to my house in brick with destination dimension and jeremiah came with so that we had one more night together before i left. i was feeling a little better about leaving but i wouldn’t actually be excited until we were finally in the van. 

day 2 - falls church, va

after waking up mad early on like 5 hours of sleep only, i got ready to leave as julie was dropped off at my house to drive up to bandago together. i cried as jeremiah said goodbye to me because i’m a big dumb baby and never ever spend time apart from him haha.

the drive to virginia took forever. i was so exhausted but for some reason it was impossible to sleep in the van. and then i led us to the wrong holiday inn; our actual hotel was so far that we just had to check in late and go straight to the show. the vfw was actually a pretty cool spot. it was nice to be in falls church again; the last time i was there was when i was a kid and my aunt and uncle lived in an apartment way before they had my cousins. 

Photo: Julie Yi Photography - us with pulses, destination dimension and a couple members of timberbrooke!

turnout wasn’t huge at all (a pattern that would repeat itself lmao) but all of the bands were super nice. of course, we were extremely stoked to play with pulses. i felt bad because i kept screwing up faces, names and bands at first but it ended up being fine.  our friends said i played more confidently this show than the night before but it didn't feel like that. i felt like i sounded like shit and i looked like an idiot lmao. on stage, there’s actually a million things going through my head while i'm singing. i almost wanted to throw the microphone at one point but can’t do that!!! i also apparently sounded better but i still have issues believing people when they say i sang well, because people lie to other musicians all the time and tell them they're great just to be polite. i warm up before every show and do diaphragm exercises but if my throat fucking feels like shit from my allergies and tight and dry there's nothing i can do. the humidifier doesn't help. there's not a day where i don't practice. i wish my body wasn't so unforgiving haha.

well the korean BBQ spot next door was cool lmao and there was a dog at the show. our hotel room was nice but the furniture was so oddly arranged. it was difficult to make room for the air mattresses but we made it work. i shouldn’t talk though because hotel rooms on tour are a luxury haha.

day 3 - greensboro, nc

the drive to greensboro was just a little stressful because of the torrential downpour, and a car accident happened right in front of us at one point lmao. but mostly, the drive was so serene and beautiful. we drove through the blue ridge mountains and listened to the new anthony green album. this is what i love about touring, getting to see these beautiful sights. i think i almost cried hahaha.

we arrived to greensboro and the block we were on for the gig had some sick spots. we got vegetarian food at this place called boba house. the food was incredible. and then the venue, new york pizza, had $3 craft beer!!! insane. i didn't drink the last tour and i said i wouldn't this time but i remembered we were going to be in a position to try some region-specific foods and beers, so i let myself have a sunshine gose from birdsong brewery after our set. it was soooo good. yeah funny thing was, i actually drank A LOT this tour. last tour i was super sheepish about it, but this time i was going to be in too many new places to not try local beers. it didn’t affect me as much as i thought it would but i believe it still did to *some*extent. i also couldn't resist the touch tunes juke box and helped myself to playing santana again like the last tour hahaha.

the turnout was decent but everyone the headlining band brought (and the band themselves) stood outside for every band. at one point joe went outside as we were about to go on and yelled at everyone saying “hey guys we drove a long way to play the show come inside” i was mortified lmao. sadly, you cannot make people care about you, they have to show interest on their own. BUT, obviously he was saying what we were all thinking. listening to a band play from outside the venue does not always mean you are paying attention to the bands. they didn't even come inside for one single song for any band. if you can’t make the people you bring stay for the bands, fine, but why play the show at all if you don’t care about the touring bands? 

Photo: Julie Yi Photography

chris, the vocalist of destination dimension, was a huge huge help to me on tour. he gave me really great honest criticism and it helped me work on some bad habits i have while performing. i know i’m a big baby and all but i can take critique and i wish more of my musician friends were more honest with me. it shows they care because they don’t let me blindly wander around just repeating the same awful habits. for the first time i also wore both earplugs in while singing but it only lasted two songs. i know it’s foolish to not wear them, but i cannot stand how i sound with earplugs in, it fucks me up just as bad. i used to use earasers but i was sick of pissing away $40 everytime i lost them. and i'm not capable of not misplacing something, i know i'll lose them again. i wasn’t too happy with my performance this show either but the people watching us were cool and attentive. wes was so kind to hook the show up for us, and we loved the dudes in impersona. really fantastic band.

later that night shindle realized he left his laptop charger at the venue. we were using his laptop for interludes and his click tracks. it was too late to go back so we decided we’d go back in the morning before leaving to go back to charleston. but sadly the venue didn’t have it and we absolutely had to move on to the next city. i felt so bad. however we were able to make our tracks still work on my personal laptop that i brought. 

day 4 - charleston, sc

charleston was a little rough lmao, but still fun. as always we arrived just in time to check in to our hotel, get food and pull up to the venue for load in. we stayed at a holiday inn, and we were hoping since it was a hotel that the room would be nice and big but it wasn't. the beds were huge though. after checking in we noted that a counter service-type grits restaurant was across the parking lot. i was going to try to only buy one meal per show day but it looked like the next day i'd be buying grits for breakfast haha.

it was an insanely hot day. in fact, the hottest day on tour. it was bad. it was at least 90 degrees or more out especially with the humidity but whatever, we were heading to the venue soon so we would hopefully find relief there. something i was ABSOLUTELY adamant about was that we ate cookout. for anyone who doesn't know, cookout is a chain based in the south that serves southern food and super cheap, filling meals. you can get a “tray” which is like one main meat or dish, two sides and a drink for $5.29. the tour package met there to eat before load in. stopping made us late, but there was no way in hell we weren't going and i was making sure of that lmao. and it was worth being a lil late i think, i think everyone liked it. santino bought twice the amount of the tray he ordered hahaha.

so we finally get to the venue, which is tua lingua - and

there's no

air

conditioning

we had zero idea this place had no central air. i had no idea the place didn't have it!!! but otherwise the venue was a very sick spot. like out of the blue in cambridge (rip), but much much bigger. they had numerous amazing art pieces, a dark room and an interactive bubble exhibit. the staff was very nice. we did our best to play the best set we could with the heat. at certain points it was even cooler outside the building because the hot air just wasn’t moving out. we almost cut our set short out of fear of not being able to handle the heat but we made it through. we also had to play without our tracks but that was fine. a couple people named jesse and fianna came to the show because they heard about it from the hemisphere facebook group!! so awesome. zacoma also made us a custom copy of their CD based off our tour marketing it was so fucking sweet of them!! i don’t have the photo of it otherwise i would have shared it but when i get it i’ll post it. them and hollow notes made the show a great one, i highly recommend both bands. i bet tua lingua is sooo sick to play in cooler weather just not in the summer haha.

photo credit: julie yi photography LOOK AT HOW SWEATY I AM. 

because the show ended massively early (THE DREAM), i suggested going to the charleston waterfront since we had time to explore! santino was wary because the poor guy was starving, but he agreed to spending 30 minutes of walking around. so the tour package drove out to the waterfront/rainbow row and we walked around for a while. it was sooooo beautiful out, i was so happy to see the town again. a guy jumped in the pineapple fountain as we were dipping our feet in to dig for change and he was in there for an hour HAHA. we also ended up staying an hour because we were having so much fun. there was another fountain nearby you could actually walk through. maybe it wasn't actually allowed but there were no signs so whoops!! we went from just sticking our hands in the jets to santino and jaime sticking their whole fucking heads in i was screaming laughing hahaha. it was a very happy and pure moment.

on this tour i learned a lot of new things about santino, one of which is that he apparently really likes milk LMFAO. and we had to like run around to try to find somewhere open that would have milk and cookies but everyone settled for taco bell. we went back to the hotel to watch aggretsuko but netflix kept glitching and the screen would black out whenever subs were on the screen i was so pissed. but we enjoyed a very wonderful night of going to bed early.

[foggyinjapan-blog]

6th Nov. Nara

I want to go to Nara today which is a 45 minute train ride from Kyoto station. There's one temple and a deer garden I just have to visit!! Instead of riding 45 minutes to Kyoto station, I use my brain and ride 15 minutes to the nearest train station and catch the train from there. I am so smart tehe! As I'm riding over the bumps in the path my nose ring keeps jiggling and making me want to sneeze hahaha! Why you do this!? I reach Kyoto station and board my next train to Nara! Woo I am killing it!

As I walk in the first temple, Kōfuku-ji there are signs everywhere saying strictly no drones. This isn’t the first time I've seen this at it makes me quite sad to think that some people think it's ok to bring a drone to a temple... Majority of Kōfuku-ji Temple is under construction so I wonder through quickly. The gardeners are blowing the autumn leaves away with a blower vac too so I'm not inclined to stay long. I'm wearing my sunnies too and the lenses are sick! They make colours appear more vibrant and give more depth. Thankyou Oakley!

Nara is much quieter than Kyoto and Osaka. I fall in love as soon as stepping off the train. I hate too many people and this seems like the perfect town to explore. The buildings seem modern and there is tourist information everywhere. Very welcoming of tourists which I really do appreciate. What a lovely town and everyone seems so friendly. They have a little deer mascot for the town to! It reminds me of Kutchan's skiing potato where I lived in Niseko last year.

I arrive a the deer park and meet my first new friends. Kawaii! These ones are inside a fence though so maybe they were naughty or something!? And there is a baby one too! I keep walking through and there's a food cart to purchase food for the deer. There's a few smart ones hanging out near the food cart. That's where I'd be haha! It's only 150 yen to feed them so I grab bundle of biscuits. Crossing the road and there's soooo many! I feed a couple here and there and I end up getting rolled by 4 of them at once hahaha! The bastards! They have done this before I know it! They lured me in with the baby and then bam!!! Snitch all my food haha! One of them kept trying to eat my shirt too. That is not food young one. So after I've been robbed I get a few metres up the path and there's a deer staring right at me with puppy dog eyes. I start patting it and giving him scratches. He really likes it!! He wouldn't leave me so I just kept patting him for like 10 minutes. Got some photos and I'm a happy camper. I was the one to say goodbye which was sad, but I have to move on!

There's a huge line up ahead for Nara National Museum and I see the sign and it says "time to get in: 40 minutes" ... fuck that! And there's an exhibition on Shoso-in Treasures run by the museum up ahead which I want to look at anyway. No line there! You're not allowed to take photographs in the museum so I don't have any of those, but I feel like I learnt so much! I took notes and I'm going to do some research on the bits I found the most interesting. I read every panel of every sculpture in there! So amazing, the history dates back to the 6th century. There are many that are in tact and many that are not in such good shape. They have been through a lot. It's really cool to see history that dates so far back as well.

Tadai-ji temple temple is where I'm heading next. It has the biggest bronze Buddha in Japan and indeed, it was bloody huge! I wonder if they built the Buddha first and then the building?? They would have had to it’s far too big to get through the windows! There's some sculptures out the back of remodeling of the building over the centuries, so I'm going to guess that I'm right. I bought 2 postcards so I can remember the day and my dear friend, deer. I’ll call him Deerek. The deer literally roam everywhere through this part of town. They are so great with humans and even kids! We are still warned they might attack or bite though. It's a bit said that the males have had their antlers cut off though. I guess that's so they don't hurt anyone walking through.

For lunch I stop at a restaurant near Todai-ji Temple. As you walk in you're supposed to wrote your name down so they know who was next. I didn't see this so didn't write my name down for a while ahhh. I guess I have to wait a bit longer. I'm hungryyyyy! The food I had was rice, miso, tempura with a fishy sauce followed by coffee and a tasting of dessert. It was delicious! Japan's food is crazy good!

Now I love my denim and I've been noticing lately that some of the elder Japanese love their denim too. In fact other parts of their fashion are similar to what I like. Haha bless! The majority of the younger Japanese go for a more elegant look whereas mine is more laid back I guess! It looks like they put in a lot of effort each morning! Too much effort for me. But I do I wish I had the thickness of their hair!

I set off to go and find Isuien Garden which I have read about online. I take a sneaky little back street which I think is the right way??? There's no one around... oh well adventure! I nailed it, I make it to the front of the gardens and right next door is another garden called Yoshikien Garden. At the door it says free entry for overseas tourists. Brilliant! I notice as well that they have received an award from Trip Advisor dated 2017. Sweet. I walk in and the gardens are like a fairy take! So beautiful and unique. The trees that are growing I've near seen before (I'll be sure to put a picture up) and they give off a mysterious vibe. This garden is well taken care of. It's so calming. It is huge as well! There are a few tea rooms along the way and the first one actually has traditional home made glass that they would have made back in the day. Wow. The autumn leaves really do bring this whole picture together too. I head through past the waterfall to the moss garden, the few rest areas and back around to the pond. The red leaves really do stand out. This garden is so tranquil, I'm so glad I found it!

Next door at Isuien Garden and I am greeted with a 900 yen fee for entry to the garden and the museum, you can't just get a ticket for the garden, you have to pay for both. 900 yen is by far the most expensive I have paid for an entry fee. That is highway robbery, this is the whole $9 Coca-Cola situation again! I am still getting over that! $9 for a bloody post mix coke at Dicky Knees in Falls. What an absolute joke! I walk in and yes, the gardens are beautiful but I still like Yoshikien Garden. I walk around the lake and the beauty of the autumn leaves still amaze me. In the back corner there is a section covered in moss with the sun shining through. So beautiful! It looks like it should be in an art gallery. There's a section where you can cross stepping stones over a bit of the lake, there's a mill spinning and a waterfall beside it. Such beauty.

I go in the museum because I've bloody paid for it so I guess I have to. I have no idea what's going on. There's a bunch of knobs on display from what I read... what are knobs!? I mean I know what the human version of a knob is... I've come across a few in my life. But what is this sculpture-of-a-turtle knob, there's a camel one as well. It wasn't until I reached the second, smaller room that I had worked it out! It's an engraving into a rock and is used as a stamp to sign your name. 'Ohhh I know what these are! Didn't  know they were called knobs though haha!" (* I just googled Japanese knob, and guess what! A whole bunch of bloody door knobs showed up! Silly! *)

I head back towards the station and get myself a banana and chocolate smoothie along the way. Best smoothie I’ve ever had!!!! I finish it all hazar! On my way past I notice this ridiculously busy food shop and everyone was going nuts outside! I saw it in the morning too and everyone was going mad. Man I wish I stopped there and sussed it out, but I was so focused on my smoothie. I really want to see what that shop sells and go crazy like everyone else. If I decide to come back to Nara I will definitely stop by and have a look. There's a few other things that I would love to check out too but they were a bit far from the city centre, maybe I could hire a bike and go exploring!!! Hmmm the dreams!

[sawson]

Spiritale Chapter 34

1,525 words

                                       Chapter 34: Good Friends

Later on the second right floor…

“Hello there, my name is Lionel Roarmen”, the lion introduced, “What’s your name?”

“I’m Chara”

“Chara, I’ll remember it”, Lionel said cheerfully, “Will you remember mine?”  

“Yea~!”

“Aww thank you, “Loinel said blushing.

Chara gave them a wave goodbye and walked off with a smile on their face, you never thought Lionel and Heats would have their personalities swapped. Pretty cool. Oh wow you know this part!

“Papyrus!”, Chara shouted with joy.

“Heeey there kid, how goes?”, Papyrus said waving from their station.

“Sssooo much was going on dude”, Chara said laying on the station counter while standing, “Too many actually”

“Well then, want a dog to take your mind off it?”, Papyrus asked pulling a hot dog out from under his station.

“I would love that”, Chara said taking the hot dog, “*Eats*…Mmmm, this is good. Really good”, they said eating.

“It’s a vegan dog”

“Vegan?”

“Yea, 100% non-meat”

“*Gulps* it taste like a real hot dog though”

“That’s what the others are saying”, Papyrus said looking at the monsters behind Chara.

No kidding, Pyrope and that monster who was tricked by your muffet are enjoying their vegan dog without saying a word.

“Now tell me, what’s eating you kid?”, Papyrus asked resting his arms on the table.

“Hahah”, Chara giggled before taking another bite of the vegan dog.

Chara tells Papyrus all that happened….you don't know how long it took, guess you lost track of time during that.

“Dang, he had you doing that?”, Papyrus asked resting his skull on his left hand.

“Mmm hmm”, Chara said nodding, “*Gulps* I sure hope Undyne and I can stop that chip that’s in him”

“What chip?”

“A chip that makes him kill any human on sight”, Chara whispered.

“Hmmm…”, Papyrus said with a thinking face, “Okay, hey want another dog to go?”

“Oh, I’ll take four”, Chara said taking out their phone.

Papyrus took out four vegan dogs and stacked two above the bottom two, Chara stares at it for a little before asking for two more. Papyrus questions it while giving them two more dogs in their hands, Chara takes the two and stacks it on top of the other two dogs. Papyrus quickly knew what was going on and began stacking vegan dogs with them. Oh man it’s sort of like you and Sans’s moment, this also reminds you of a stacking game. It’s just like this one, but they’re stacking sets of two instead of three. Wooow…it’s above the station roof, Papyrus is using their blue magic on Chara so they could continue stacking.

“That’s enough stacking kid, gotta draw the line somewhere”, Papyrus said putting Chara down.

“Wooow, I didn’t think it’d make it that far”, Chara said looking up.

“Amazing”, Pyrope said looking up behind Chara.

“What a delicious stack”, The other monster said, “Can I have one of them?”

“Can I too?”, Pyrope asked looking at Chara.

“Uuuuh, I’m…”

“Pleeeease?”, they both asked.

Chara couldn’t say no to their faces, Papyrus didn’t say anything. Chara gently placed their hand on two dogs on different parts of the stack, they geeentttlllly…pulled them oooouut…and they didn’t fall. You and Chara are shocked.

“Amazing! Amazing!”, Pyrope said jumping happy, “Thank you ahhmmm”, they thanked taking the vegan dog with their mouth.

“Thank you little creature”, the other thanked taking the dog.

Waaaait a minute, you took a look at the stack tower. Aha! Papyrus is holding it up with their magic, you had a feeling.

“Well that was fun”, Papyrus said taking the stacks down using their magic again, “The next time you wanna play stack up, I’m your guy”, he said pointing to himself.

“I can’t wait”, Chara said putting their vegan dogs in their phone storage, “Bye everyone”, they said waving and walking.

The three monsters waved as Chara walked off, you guide them to the stained apron that they put on. Now they’re at…that puzzle with a switching arrow buttons, you do NOT like this puzzle. And you are NOT going to complain too much about it, you just gonna help Chara through it.

17 minutes, wait….38 minutes la- aw come on…………56 minutes later, FINALLY!

“UUUUGH that puzzle took foreverrrr”, Chara said walking to the next area then sitting down.

You just nod. Good thing there’s a save point here.

“*Squeak*”, you both heard.

You looked down and saw a mouse beside Chara, it’s squeaking and tapping Chara’s hand.

“Hello little mouse, do you need something?”, Chara said politely.

The mouse scurried over to the microwave and pointed to it. Chara gets up and tries to open it, but it won't budge. You both look inside then saw three things of cheese and…wow, even if you manage to open it there are three lazers blocking the entrance. Chara called Undyne for help, she gave them the double code, got the cheese, and gave it too the mouse. They are so happy, awww.

*Seeing the mouse give Chara a happy thumbs up, feels them with DETERMINATION!*

Chara text Undyne back while walking happily to the next area-

“Heeey you, wait!”, You both heard a female monster say.

Turning around you both saw two monsters in armor…wait a minute, those purple cat ears and those curly locks. CATTY AND BRATTY!!!

“We like, got a random tip saying there was a human wearing stripes”, Catty said, “It totally told us they were around Hotland right now. Scary huh?”

“No need to worry…”, Bratty said kneeling down to Chara, “We’ll take you somewhere safe…”, she said lending her hand out.

Good thing Bratty was wearing fingerless gloves, Chara took her hand a little confused about the situation.

“By the way, that is a cuute shirt you’re wearing~”, Catty complemented while walking.

“….Waaait…”, Bratty said stopping, “…Catty, look at their shirt again”, she said looking at Chara.

“Hmm? What about….Ooooh I see”, Catty said just realizing, “Total bummer, we gotta like fight you and stuff. Sorry”

Aw no. Instead of swords, they have whips! That’s seriously going to hurt.

“Like, Team Blitz~!” Catty said.

“…Team Blitz”, Bratty said nodding.

*Catty and Bratty attack at the same time*

*Chara dodges, but takes 8 damage*

Come on Frisk, think! What do these girls like? Each other…is that swapped up here? You look at them for a moment….you got nothing. But you do know this, Bratty’s got to take off her armor. You see her having a tougher time moving around in it than Catty. You quickly told Chara to get Bratty to take off her armor. Chara tries, but they were attacked by Catty. She accidentally knocks Chara into Bratty, her top armor falls off!

“OMG BRATTY!!!”, Catty shouted running up to Bratty and Chara, “I am sooooooo totally sorry girl!”, she apologizes sounding sad.

“…It’s okay…I’m fine”, Bratty said rubbing her head then standing up.

“*Gasp* Bratty, that shirt”, Catty said, “It’s so…..CUUUUUTE~!”, she shouted placing her hand on her face in awe.

“…Really? You think so?”, Bratty said looking at it.

“Yea~!”, Catty said happily.

Bratty blushes through her armor helmet and twirls her golden locks. *Gasp* You have an idea! You whisper it to Chara.

“Excuse me”, Chara said sitting up on the ground, “Do you two like fashion that much?”

“Yea we do~!”, Catty said happily while Bratty nodded, “I just wish we could- uuuh n-nevermind”

“…Catty?”, Bratty said looking at Catty.

“I-it’s nothing, toootally never heheh”

“You don't have to hide it if you don't want to Ms. Catty, you can tell us”, Chara said with a polite smile.

“Mmmmm…..okay I confess! Bratty I don’t want to fight anymore!”, Catty shouted.

“Catty…why?”, Bratty said.

“We’ve been fighting and doing this job for sooooo long, I’m just tired”, Catty said sounding sad, “I just wanna hang out with you girl! I wanna shop together, eat together, and do girl talk together!”

“Catty…”

“I’m like so sorry girlfriend”, Catty apologized, “You’re like my best bestie, I didn’t wanna let you down!”

“I…feel the same way”

“You do?!”

“Yes…I was working hard to save up the money for us to…hangout”, Bratty said.

“Omg!”, Catty said covering her mouth, “Then what are we standing here for? Let’s go have some girl time!”

“I would love that…”, Bratty said placing her hand together gently.

“Hey human, please don’t tell Alphys”, Catty begged Chara, “She’ll be like, wicked mad at us”

“Please…”, Bratty begged.

“I think she’ll be okay with it”, Chara said standing and dusting themselves, “Go have fun”

“EEEEEE~!”, Catty said cheerfully, “LIKE GUUURL TIIIME~!”, she shouted jumping while holding Bratty’s hands.

“Yea…Girl Time~”, Bratty said calmly and happily.

They both walked off talking about clothes all giggly, awwww. Their friendship is soooo awesome.

“Hey you think you and Papyrus would hang out like that”, You asked Chara.

“I don’t, he seem waaaay too calm to do anything THAT energetic”, Chara said scratching their head.

“He deals with Sans”

“….You know what you’re right, we might go shopping together”

“Mmmm hm”    

[meepface]

i’ve had a weird day so far and doing this is purely for distraction purposes just ignore me

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

home screen

and my lock screen is my gf

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

oooohhh yeah. one of my first super gay crushes was on my 7th grade english & composition teacher Ms. Lawrence. i just recently unadded her on facebook bc i thought it was weird that i had her added but i’m a lil sad i did it bc that was a big ol phase of my life and i liked her soooo much ya know. i also had a big crush on this dorky geography/tennis/psychology teacher Mr. Whittlesey. he was so cute and goofy i love that man

3) What was your last text message?

i was offering to drive over to visit a friend and bring her comfort food bc her and her fiance just broke up :(

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

uhh i don’t really think that far ahead but hopefully i am happy and have a stable job and hopefully i’m with the person who i’m planning on spending forever with and i have a nice lil place. maybe i’ve even finally moved out of texas by then

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

honestly the mountains would be really nice. i really miss em and they make me feel really happy n peaceful and idk if my family and i are going to get to go or not this summer

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?

idk one year i wrote “life” on a shirt and went around handing people lemons all night which was Extra as hell but it was also sort of iconic

7) What was your favorite 90s show?

friends

8) Who was your last kiss?

my gf

9) Have you ever been stood up?

no i don’t believe so

10) Favorite ice cream flavor?

mint chocolate chip

11) Have you been to Las Vegas?

no but my parents have been WITHOUT my brother and i!! i would love to go at least one time though

12) Your favorite pair of shoes?

i like my vans they’re comfy

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

no, that is one thing i would never do. esp since it was done to me and even though our relationship hadn’t been that serious, it still sucked 

14) What is your favorite fruit?

watermelon and peaches and apricots

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?

honestly? i maybe could’ve seen myself dating a few people here but only if they were here in person with me lol i'm not interested in online relationships at all so

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships?

long term relationships i ain’t tryna mess around rn

17) Do you smoke? If so, what?

i don’t but i would like to smoke weed at least once in my life just to experience it ya know

18) What do you do to get over your anger?

sing really loudly to music in my car until i am Tired or just vent on my private sideblog

19) Do you believe in God?

i’m sure there’s something out there but who knows what

20) Does the person you’re in love with know it?

yes

21) Favorite position?

laying the fuck down

22) What’s your horoscope sign?

aries

23) Your fears?

settling for less than i deserve or want just bc being happy requires work that seems scary or difficult or would hurt someone, scorpions, the ocean, walking sticks, horses, never being enough for anyone, not finding stability in my life

24) How many pets do you have? What kind?

i have four dogs named Sophie, Millie, Rusty Bob and Joey

25) What never fails to turn you on?

gettin soft kisses on my stomach n hips

26) Your idea of a perfect first date?

we do some sort of fun activity together, we have a nice dinner and maybe chill in our cars after and talk n maybe kiss a bunch depending on how the date went

27) What is something most people don’t know about you?

i can sing kinda well ?? maybe not anymore it’s been a while since i have but i used to be in musical theatre and they wanted me to be a lead role in the musical but i was too much of a pussy and i didn’t

28) What makes you feel the happiest?

having fun bein surrounded by people i love, also when dogs are so happy to see you that their tails wag their whole butt

29) What store do you shop at most often?

probably forever 21 or h&m bc i’m all about affordable clothing that’s semi-cute

30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?

i’m down for both 

31) Do you believe in karma?

sure

32) Are you single?

nope

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

“i’m sorry, i understand that this hurt you and i understand why and i will work on not doing this again in the future” followed by actually working on not doing that again in the future is the better way to apologize, actually

34) Are you a good swimmer?

eh i’m okay

35) Coffee or Tea?

coffee

36) Online shopping or shopping in person?

in person 

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

i kinda like being 20 i think it’s nice to be right in the middle

38) Cats or Dogs?

dogs

39) Are you a competitive person?

in mario kart maybe but generally no

40) Do you believe in aliens?

yes!!!!!!!!!!!!

41) Do you like dancing?

yes but i’m no good at it

42) What kind of music to you listen to?

i like upbeat alternative music generally

43) What is your favorite cartoon character?

eeyore

44) Where are you from?

texas unfortunately

45) Eat at home or eat out?

idk my dad’s home cooked meals have gotten pretttttty good but if i can’t have whatever he’s making then i wanna eat out

46) How much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i’m definitely more talkative and i laugh out loud a lot more

47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself?

i bought myself a meal last night but today i’m gonna go out and buy myself some shorts and a bikini so i’m hyped for that

48) Why do you think your followers follow you?

probably from when i blogged about youtubers back in the day, also i hosted these selfie party things and shared everyone’s selfies to boost their confidence and so many people followed me bc of those

49) How many hours do you sleep at night?

not enough

50) What worries you most about the future?

not finding stability in what i want to do and not doing what i want and what would make me happy just bc it would be challenging

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?

i’m learnin a whoooole lot of self love so maybe we’d be friends a lil longer than i would’ve been if you’d asked me this in like, february 

52) Are you happy with yourself?

i mean? i’m happy with where i’ve come. definitely could improve but ya know. baby steps

53) What do you wish you didn’t know?

there’s too many things i wish i didn’t know to be honest

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?

puttin other people first too much only makes you know and love yourself less

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?

the loft from New Girl

56) What’s your favorite Website?

runescape 

57) What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking?

getting rid of this fb account i had and then also this private twitter account i had that i sorta used to vent and also overshare too much lmao

58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?

i went to NYC before christmas last year!! my family and i are hoping we’ll be able to go to Washington this year 

59) What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?

probably my mug that says “i’m too sexy to be 60″ that i bought for like $2

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?

i reaaaaally like kung pao chicken but sometimes i like to get sweet and sour or sesame chicken and then i’ll get wonton soup and eggrolls and white rice and sometimes edamame ooooo my god

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?

idaho just so i could call myself a ho all the time

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?

psychology or cinematography

63) Favorite kind of chips?

lays limón chips

64) Favorite kind of sandwich?

i really like the new york italian sandwich from Thundercloud 

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?

dictionary probably??

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?

nope but one time i was carrying a balloon and a bee came up and stung my balloon and died and i was like oh

67) What’s your favorite form of exercise?

just goin for a walk is nice

68) Are you afraid of heights?

not heights but falling lmao

69) What’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?

probably my film class junior year of high school. i was part of the school’s daily announcement team and we made intros for it based off of popular TV shows and we did this whole project about drinking and driving and my teacher was so great and i had a crush on every single boy in that class

70) What’s your favorite breakfast?

i love breakfast tacos

71) Do you like guacamole?

yes

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?

i punched a girl in kindergarten but she didn’t hit me back and i pushed a kid over in spy camp in like fourth grade but he didn’t fight me back and i shoved a really stoned guy in a pit at a concert two years ago bc he was being a dick but he was too stoned to fight me back so what i’m saying is i sort of have tried to start a fight but nobody has taken one for the team and kicked my ass yet

73) What/who are you thinking about right now?

i’m thinking about how today sorta sucks but i feel like, too sad to go out and hang out with someone and do something about it so i am just going to stay here. maybe i will eat soon if i can get myself out of bed lol

74) Do you like cuddling?

it’s my faaaaavorite

75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

yeah

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?

yeah lol 

77) Favorite city you’ve been to?

hmm i really really liked Hood River, Oregon but probably mostly bc of the people i knew there and everything making it special. i loved Columbus, Ohio for that same reason too. i thought Ohio was gorgeous. i also loved Flagstaff, Arizona just because it was beautiful and quaint and i would love to go back

78) Would you break the law to save a family member?

depends on the family member

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?

just a few weeks ago i was in my summer class and we had about 10 minutes until we got out and it’s like 1 so i was starving and ready for lunch so i was looking at my food options in the area and next thing i knew Siri screams into my quiet classroom “starting route to Raising Cane’s”, and everybody laughed and my teacher was Annoyed. and then when we finally got out i thought everybody had moved on and then the guy who sat next to me, WHO HAD NEVER SPOKEN TO ME ONCE, goes “have fun at Raising Cane’s!”

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?

anything to do with women/POC/LGBTQIA+ rights 

81) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

one time i was showin off on my razor scooter while zoomin down a steep hill and i fell off and got scars all over my body and a young girl witnessed it but didn’t say anything or do anything she just left me layin there and crying on the pavement 

82) Favorite day of the week?

thursday is nice

83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?

uhh i mean yeah i guess

84) How do you feel about porn?

i feel like it gives you really false expectations about what sex is going to be like when people watch too much of it

85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?

i’d like to be good ol pals with Mamrie Hart still

86) Who was your hottest ex?

my exes were all ugly

87) Do you want/have kids?

i think i would like kids at some point. at least one

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?

yes

89) Do you get easily distracted?

yes sometimes

90) Ass or titties?

titties

91) What is your favorite word?

serendipity

92) How do you feel about tattoos?

i have three and i love em. go for it pal

93) Do you have any pets?

i have four dogs

94) How tall are you?

5′7

95) How old are you?

20

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?

my hair, my eyes, my stomach

97) Is there anything you’re really passionate about?

yes i am v passionate about supporting other women!!!! and also about trying to be kind to everyone the most you can be bc i hear so many people spout rude things about people they don’t even know (esp when driving) and it’s like stop and listen to yourself lmao

98) Do you have trust issues?

a little bit but i’m trying to be more open and it hasn’t hurt me yet so

99) Do you believe in love at first sight?

absolutely not. that’s called infatuation

100) What are some words that you live by? Why?

two quotes: “anything that costs your peace is too expensive” and “let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier”.

i think the first one is important because i have a tendency of putting myself through a lot of shit to make other people happy and then i’m really unhappy and it’s just not a good way to live. i am really trying to learn this one. and the second one i think is important because being good to other people is a very important thing and i think you never know when somebody else needs that 

[philanddanxreader]

Two cute neighbours.

Hello, love bugs!! Dan x reader Warnings-fluff, kisses. Also, swears because Dan

1887 words yo, Its a long one.

hi !! i love your writing soooo I was wondering if u could do a dan x reader where the reader moves in next door to dan n Phil n the reader has an emotional support dog (preferably a mini chocolate lab) n dan n Phil loooooove the dog n it’s cute n fluffy !! then it time skips to when dan n the reader are dating n the reader tells dan why they have the support dog (anxiety n panic attacks) n dan is supportive n its just cuuuuuuuuuuttttteeee –anonymous

“Dan!” Phil practically screams as he runs up the stairs.

“What, are you okay?” Dan says jumping from his couch crease to make sure poor Philly isn’t to hurt.

“We have the two cutest new neighbors ever!” Phil announces. Coming face to face with Dan on the landing.

“Phil!” Dan moans putting extra emphasis on his part. “I thought that fucking aliens were outside. Christ!” Dan says walking back into the living room.

“But Dan you don’t understand,” Phil says smiling. “One is possibly the prettiest girl I have ever seen. The other is the prettiest brown lab I have ever seen.” Phil recounts as he moves into the living room staring down at Dan trying to make a point.

 "Prettiest girl ever?“ Dan questions as Phil nods his head in agreement. “Well, I suppose we should be gentlemen and go see if the two of them need help moving in,” Dan says closing his laptop.

 “Exactly! Phil agrees nodding his head. "It’s the right thing to do.” Both boys do a quick fringe check before heading down towards the new tenets in the building.

As the boys head down the stairs it was pretty easy to spot the new neighbors. The beautiful new puppy neighbor was sitting in the hall never far from his owner. You could tell that the pup was over the whole moving thing and just wanted his bed and toys to be unpacked already. The boys could hear the faint sound of a female voice talking to themselves. Phil decided to make the first move. "Hello?” Phil says knocking on the half-open door. This peaked the interest of the dog who decided to go his owner and make sure everything was all right.

“Hello?” Came your soft voice from up the small flight of stairs. 

“Hi, my name is Dan and this is my roommate Phil. We are your new neighbors.” Dan has his signature smile on his face, making you feel instantly welcomed. 

“Hello, I mean, Ugh. My name is y/n.” stupid nerves. Two cuties come to your door to introduce themselves and not only that but the boys are non other than Dan Howell and Phil Lester. Stupid, god they probably already think your some sort of freak who can’t even introduce themselves properly.

Thankfully Phil interrupts the train of self-deprecating thoughts with a question. “Can I pet your dog? I know he’s working and all but if I could even give him a little pat.” How adorable. The only difference between Phil and a child asking for permission is that Phil isn’t bouncing from one foot to the other waiting for your answer.

“Absolutely! It’s about time he comes over and introduces himself. Hey.” You pause looking at the pup who was so over this whole moving into a new place thing. “ Finnegan, You’re making me look like a bad dog mummy. Come here and say hello.” This seemed to be enough encouragement to come over and meet the new friends. “Sorry, he is so used to people from when I was in school he just finds everyone a bit dull. I’m not saying the two of you are dull. Oh god.” Your cheeks instantly flush. 

“It’s fine we understand,” Dan says giving you another reassuring smile. Thank the stars above that the two of them understand awkwardness.

Phil was instantly kneeling by Finnegan giving him a ton of love.”

“Looks like you have a new friend Phil.” Dan was also reaching for the dogs head for a small pet. Phil, of course, missed the comment because he was honestly to involved with literally hugging the soft brown pup. 

“Well, I’m glad he likes you. To be honest he sometimes doesn’t like men.” Could you be weirder? Just smile and wave.

“We are too!” Phil says muffled into fur. “We did come here to see if you needed any help moving in.” Finally, Phil stands up towering over you once again.

“Actually I do need help with my dresser. You don’t mind, right?”

“Not at all. let’s see what we can do. With that, the three of you managed to get all the big furniture pieces into their new home.

After about an hour of moving it was decided that everyone should take a small break. 

“I honestly can’t thank you guys enough. I owe you both so please let me buy you some pizza and drinks as a small payment of my gratitude.” You had all been sitting in your mix matched living room relaxing while just hanging out.

“I don’t think I’m against a slice or two,” Phil says thinking about just mentioned food. 

“I am also in. Do you want to come over to our place? We have plates that are unpacked. Plus we can do the dishes so you don’t have to worry about more cleaning after just moving in.” Dan is the literal sweetest. 

“I think we can arrange that.” You have the greatest new neighbors ever. 

The evening was absolutely wonderful. You honestly had for once in a very long time didn’t feel any worry. You felt like a free person who didn’t have to worry about being judged or unwanted. This became your new regular. Every chance you had your and  Finnegan were over at your neighbor’s flat.

Dan and yourself had started to become inseparable. Over the month of hanging out you had both learned so much about each other. If the two of you weren’t together you were talking on every media platform. Twitter was the place that you sent each other funny meme’s Snap chat was the absolute ugliest photos of each other. Both of you had screenshotted enough incriminating evidence to ruin each other street cred. Texts were different. When the two of you were together in person you talked but never about deep or really personal things. Texts seem to be the exception to the rule. Many nights we used in the early hours of the morning talking about your younger years, wishes, and hopes for the future. Dan was quickly becoming your best friend. Between you and Finnegan you were possibly gaining a crush on said best friend. Good thing your pup is a great secret keeper. 

Just as you were thinking about the fun evening the two of you had last night playing video games you, the phone went off with a call from Dan.

“Moshi Moshi!” How do you not help but smile when answering a call from him.

“Well hello, I’m glad to hear that your sound happy. I have a question to ask you.” A short pause. What could Dan possibly have to ask you?

“Good thing I have answers.” Your heart had started to race slightly. Hopefully, Dan wouldn’t pick up on your nerves.

“I Daniel James Howell Want to ask you Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N to go on an official date with me. Before you answer just know that if you say no my heart will not be broken. I still want to be friends for the sake of Phil and Finnegan’s relationship.” 

“You are too fucking adorable. Yes, absolutely yes I will go on a date with you. My turn to ask a question. Why didn’t you ask me last night?”

“I was about to. I honestly had planned for it but I felt a little nervous and decided that I would ask you while you’re at work so if you say no I have enough time to move you back out of the building.” This makes you giggle like a little kid. Stupid butterflies start to flutter throughout your body.

“Good thing I said yes then.” Dan’s turn to now smile at your words.

“ I will pick up my two dates say 7:00 pm sharp?

“Yes. We will be ready for you then. See you soon Dan.”

“See you soon.”

The evening was wonderful. A delicious meal mixed with wonderful company. After dinner, you had found a park to stroll through enjoying the warm evening breeze. After a couple laps around the pond, it was time to sit on a bench and talk.

“So tell me how you end up getting a service dog. Are they trained in a specialty or to the owner?” You had told dan that you had gotten Finnegan because you were prone to blackouts. You had told him only have the truth. 

“When I was seventeen my family started to look for a service dog for me. I started to have sever panic attacks while in public. I have generalized anxiety but also for sure have social anxiety. It happened my whole life every so often. After an incident, it all started to get worse. They would get so bad that I would end up blacking out and hitting the floor. I would be fine one minute and than another, I would instantly lose concesness. So we started the hunt. I needed a dog to alert myself and others that I was having a panic attack because when they happen I become non-verbal. Next, we needed to look for a dog who could help with relieving anxiety. After that, it was all about narrowing it down. Finnegan was trained to help people who pass out but he needed training in how to help calm down my anxieties. He also needed to learn the signs of one coming on. After his training we met and it was an instant bond. I guess the rest is history. We went to university together, graduated then decided to move here to London.”

“I’m sorry I never knew all of that.” Suddenly your hand was wrapped into his, the warmth feeling lovely. 

“It’s ok, I don’t really tell a lot of people. Listen this is kinda forward of me, and I never do this but I really like you.” Your words were cut off by Dan’s lips. They were soft and warm just like his personality. There was no safer place in the world right now then there was with Dan. You were the first to pull away, not because you wanted the kiss to end but rather because you needed to catch your breath.

“Kiss me again.” you say wrapping your arms around the back of Dan’s neck.

“How about we go home and kiss not in the bug infested cold night.” 

“Deal.” you say placing one more soft kiss to him.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #53

“easy to be sleazy when you’ve got a filthy mind.”

what's the last movie you watched on your own?   i couldn't tell you.  i don't watch movies on my own, it's boring. what about the last movie you watched with another person?   chelsea and i had "gbf" on netflix, but we didn't really watch it. what about the last movie you saw at the cinema? was it good?   colleen, chelsea, and i saw "trolls" for a buck.  it was SOOOO cute. do you attend school, college, or uni?   an art university, yeah. what do you study, wherever you study?   digital photography. kisses on the cheek or the neck?   cheek if you wanna be casual, but neck kisses if you want me to rip your fucking clothes off lmao. how do you earn your keep?   i don't work.  i'm ashamed of it, but i don't and can't work like a "normal" human being.  i'm trying to find a job with my very limiting criteria, but it's not easy, at all.  i doubt i'll ever have a proper job until i can be a freelance photographer. if you could speak three different languages fluently, what would they be?   GERMAN, latin, and ummm... i mean i guess spanish, because it'd be most convenient to me. who do you usually text the most?   my mom or my best friend colleen. shaved legs or shaved arms?   legs.  i don't shave my arms. fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs?   i like scrambled and cheesy eggs. have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed?   no.  it'd be nice at least once. have you always got good grades?   from elementary all the way through high school, yeah.  i'm struggling in college... list four things about your facial appearance:   i have blue eyes, glasses, no freckles, and a piercing on the right side of my nose. list four things about your general appearance:   i'm overweight because fuck heartbreak, i'm white, i have no ass, and i have large breasts. list four things you like about yourself:   i'm passionate as fuck, i honestly think i have good morals, i'm loyal, and very understanding. list four things you dislike about yourself:   i'd kill for one man, i'm jealous to the point of hatred, i overreact to literally everything, i can't socialize, you want me to go on? this quiz is pretty different to others, right?   lmao you ruined it cats or dogs?   while i personally find felines to be more interesting as animals, i prefer dogs as pets. are you hungry right now?   no.  my appetite pill is actually working. what do you think of couples who have entire albums just for them, with pictures of them just randomly at home, doing nothing that really requires a photo?   lmao i was one of those people, i love it!  document your story!  it's beautiful! can you work the washing machine?   ... no.  embarrassing, right.  idk what settings to put it on. do you like your photo being taken?   NO.  other people don't know how to flatter my face. do you like taking photos of yourself?   i mean, i'm a photographer, so every now and again. next gig you're going to?   who knows?  i'd like to go to the carolina rebellion this year, BADLY, but money is such an issue in my family. favorite color?   maroon, baby. when do you plan on moving out?   when i'm with a significant other.  i used to believe i could live on my own in an apartment or something, but no.  depression would consume me entirely. is there someone in your life you wish you never met?   of course there is.  jabari, who tried raping my sister right in front of me, for one.  dustin, ashley's ex, who did nothing but break her heart and abuse her.  there are more.  i personally don't believe everyone comes into one's life for a reason. who/what is your favorite cartoon character?   i don't really know.  i like garfield.  and courage the cowardly dog. what do you think of your mother?   she's very supportive, loving, funny, rational, and serves as my rock.  i'd be lost as fuck if i didn't have my mom.  just sometimes, she thinks she knows more than she does about me. your father?   i love him so much and i live in constant regret about hating him for so many years.  i wish i'd burned that letter i wrote him in opposition of actually sending that shit, because i wonder all the time if he still thinks about what i told him.  he'd do anything for me, and i hope i can repay him for that one day. your siblings (if there are any)?   tiffany: i don't know you, but i wish i did.  misty: you're great, and i miss you.  katie: you confuse me, but i still love you and hope you're okay.  bobby: hey now, you're an all-star.  seeing you with christian lights up my whole world.  i hope i'm half the parent you are some day.  ashley: we're too much alike in an odd way.  you've been through so much, yet you've come so far as a person.  i mean jesus christ, you're a radiologist!  and to know you were once suicidal, that's so inspirational to me.  you have a husband who loves you, even after, like me, believing you could never love another.  you have two beautiful children who love you so much, but i wonder if they can ever love you like i do.  nicole: i worry about you.  you need to leave that damn boy, he's not good enough for you, and he is going to drag you down.  you're too big and bold a person to be chained.  i worry about your happiness quotient as long as he's around, but regardless, i know you're going to go pretty damn far. how many hours do you spend online a day?   i don't really know, but i can't say i care too much.  i don't get why people treat the internet like it's so horrible.  like, let's think about it.  most people, when they have nothing better to do, what do they do?  they watch television.  i sit on the computer instead.  at least i'm engaging my brain. explain your current feelings for your last ex bf/gf:   i'm entirely aware i'm more than in love with him, i'm obsessed with him.  you ain't truly been in love until it gets that far, hunny. how do you feel about teen relationships?   they're fine?  they can lead to a forever relationship. who’s room of the opposite sex were you in last? when?   uhhh.  my dad's and his wife's when i was passing through to go take a shower. what are your views on homosexuals in general?   they're just as human as a heterosexual, if not more open-minded as half the heterosexual populace has issue with them. do you and any of your friends have a "song?"   ha ha ha, yeah.  colleen and i say our "song" is that country piece called "friends" by ummm... blake shelton, i think?  it's such a cutesy song, and when she first showed it to me, she said it made her think of us.  i hate country, yet i still jam out with her every time we hear it. (: which is more important to you - friends or family?   family.  who says some friends can't be family? which is worse - smoking, drinking, or drugs?   drugs.  easily.  allow me to also clarify, alcohol is a drug, so drinking is pretty equal?  nicotine is a drug too, right? is there one person you would seriously kill if you could get away with it?   um.  only if i wouldn't feel guilty.  which i would. what is the last scary movie that actually scared you?   the only scary movie to ever scare me is "the rite."  only because it played with an irrational fear of mine: being impregnated by satan or a demon in general.  i'm afraid of pregnancy period, but the idea of it being the devil's child and it ripping out of your fucking stomach like can you not what are you listening to?   "gospel" by panic! at the disco.  i love his voice in this song so fucking much.  them high notes in the chorus, tho. what is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others?   i'm single. how long have you liked the person you like right now?   five years how many shots can you take?   i've never taken a shot before, and truly, i don't really want to.  i mean i'm sure i will at some point, i just don't have the desire to because i hate the taste of alcohol, and shots are so concentrated. what's a fact about the last person you kissed?   he just turned 23. do you think you're old?   no, shame i feel it, though. are you a jealous person?   in general?  actually, no.  i only get jealous when it comes to jason. when is the next time you will kiss someone?   you tell me. has anybody ever accused you of doing drugs?   i don't think so. do you have a passion for anything?   meerkats!!  photography!!  silent hill and gaming in general!!  rhett and link/gmm!!  heavy metal!! are you a romantic person?   i honestly think i am. what do you think of when i say "lumberjack?"   lmao omg the first thing that came to mind was rhett singing and dancing to the song he made up on the high-heeled lumberjack challenge on gmm. how many children do you want?   one-three.  one if childbirth/pregnancy was way too much, two is most likely, three is a big maybe. do you like mexican food?   nope. do you have a favorite author?   not really. do you have an ex who still talks to you? do they want to be with you again?   if juan even counts, yeah, we talk like what, less than even once a month.  he's made it apparent he wants to be with me again, but pretty sure he's a player, so. do your legs get really itchy after shaving them?   christ, yeah.  my left leg got so itchy once after shaving that i have a large scar going up my shin from scratching it so badly.  even putting lotion on didn't help. do you wear a ring on your finger?   yeah, a ruby/garnet/whatever ring on my right ring finger.  i just put it on permanently the other day.  i got it for christmas. have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?   it is pierced.  i've thought of taking it out in favor of getting the septum pierced though, but i changed my mind. have you kissed anyone with a tattoo before?   no, but a guy with a tattoo has kissed me. which berry is your favorite?   strawberries, definitely. have you ever tried to learn a foreign language?   i took four semesters of german. would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?   lake. do you love seeing frost hanging off leaves in the winter?   omg yaaass would you ever like to own a chandelier?   hell yeah.  i'm big on those creepy octopus chandeliers. when is the last time you went to a carnival?   oh fuck me.  last time i went to a carnival/festival one night was over a year ago with jason and dillon.  i went on a ride i was terrified of (jason was a bit iffy too; he doesn't like heights), and dillon made a self-mutilation joke that nearly ruined the whole night. how many notebooks do you own? are they all filled?   oh jeez.  LOADS.  i have a drawer filled with 'em... i wanna throw them out though.  really old, embarrassing writings. have you ever lived on a university campus?   no. what’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?   mike's hard, i guess.  not like i've tried many. when was the last time you saw a photo of your ex?   long-ish time ago.  i have a picture from our prom beside my bed, but it's buried beneath papers.  so probably the last time i checked his facebook months ago. do you “binge-watch” tv shows?   haven't done that since "sherlock" with jason. do you play any games on your phone?   not anymore.  i had pokemon go, but i had to get rid of it after i ran out of room on my phone, despite having deleted every other app but pinterest and my period tracker.  not like it's really a fun game for rural players, anyway.  you never have pokeballs because pokestops don't exist. have you ever shaved your face?   no.  i mean i've waxed my eyebrows and lip and plucked stray hairs on my chin, but never shaved it. what was the last vaccination you got?   no idea.  probably for an std, y'know, those shots you get as a teenager. how long does it usually take you to get over a break up?   lmao been a year and a handfull of months, still not over it. do you get motion sickness?   nope. do you often forget what you were just about to say?   always.  makes me feel stupid. how many blue-eyed people have you kissed?   none. do you have a friend named holly?   i knew a holly in elementary school, but she was never my friend. what are your parents' middle names?   marie and john. does frequent use of swear words offend or upset you?   not at all, because i don't believe in our definition of "profanity."  who honestly gives a valid fuck about whether a word is "bad" or not.  what makes a word "bad," anyway?  however, i do believe in harmful words that i don't like hearing.  like, calling someone a bitch, to me, is just as bad as calling someone a mean person.  because they mean the same thing.  what makes "bitch" worse?  also, i hate derogatory terms to certain groups, like "the 'n' word" for black people.  otherwise, "swear" all you want, i really don't care. when/where did you meet your first love?   well, to be technical, facebook.  i thought he was a jason i did know, so i accepted his friend request.  thank god i did.  he wanted to be my friend to begin with because he saw me in the hallway at school and, according to him, he thought immediately, "that girl's going to save me."  he remembers exactly what I was wearing, everything.  how he found my facebook, i guess i should probably wonder, lol.  it's so funny, how he claims i was going to save him.  and now i'm the one who needs him.  funny shit. how many facebook friends do you have?   uhhhh 126, i think? which one of your relatives are you most likely to argue/disagree with?   MY GRANDMA HOLY FUCK have your parents met the person you're currently interested in?   yes, they have. who was your first major crush?   i'm not entirely sure.  maybe this kid named dylan? do you still talk to that person?   haven't in well over a decade.  lmao wait, did i ever even talk to him?  i just thought he was super cute. is there anything you need to do, that you're trying to avoid doing?   yeah.  i hate late homework. do you have any drinking cups with disney characters on them?   we haven't for years.  well, wait.  we may still have some. will you be moving anytime soon?   probably.  we were supposed to get evicted because mom can't afford the rent, yet we're still here.  but our landlord won't be merciful forever; mom still can't pay for it. have you ever written a book? perhaps you are writing one right now?   never finished any... oh yeah!  but one from when i was younger. favorite flavored milk shake?   vanilla do you or your best friend play in a band?   nah. can two living souls become one?   figuratively, sure, literally, no. last song you listened to and what does it mean to you?   i'm listening to "ready to go" by panic! at the disco.  first time listening to it; i'm on a panic! streak.  it just started, so no opinion yet. have you seen the entire harry potter series?   no.  jason and i watched a couple of the movies, but i could never get into it. have you ever been put to sleep for surgery?   i actually don't know.  i had tubes put in my ears as a baby, but i don't remember it at all. have you ever had a pregnancy scare?   okay this is funny.  despite never having sex, my anxiety made me believe by some miracle dry-humping had gotten me pregnant because i missed my period.  like i was so panicked i was even talking about it with jason.  god bless that man, i can only IMAGINE what he must've thought. when was the last time you went bowling?   some months ago with colleen, bradley, and girt. are you expected to help fix thanksgiving dinner?   no. have you ever lost anyone close to cancer?   no, thank god. do you personally know anyone who is transgender?   i don't think so. what’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?   original is the shit. what’s your favorite type of juice?   i really like mango. what was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn?   dude, fuck latin. do you know anyone named amity?   no, but that's a cool name! what do you think of people who always wear make-up?   i really try not to have an opinion because that's really not my business at all, but i can't help but feel a bit sad.  like... i dunno, i just think you should be more comfortable with your own skin instead of always feeling like you've gotta cover it.  my older sister was like that for years, and it always made me sad, because she's so beautiful.  she wouldn't go out without it or take pictures if she didn't have some on. is there a smell that gives you headaches?   gasoline. what’s your least favorite thing about summer?   everything?  can i say everything??? have you ever wanted to vlog?   not really.  i lead a boring life and i am WAY too shy and awkward. do you have any of the guitar heroes/rock bands?   plenty.  original, ac/dc, metallica, green day, van halen, greatest hits, and i'm positive i'm missing some. have you ever worn flip flops in the snow?   lmao yes. do you ever wonder what your ex or most recent “thing” is up to?   of course i do. have you ever moved to a different state?   nope.  been in nc my whole life. have you ever been to germany?   no, but i'd REALLY like to go! what decade do you think is the best musically?   hm.  '80s. have you ever written poetry or fiction?   yup.  some cringy stuff lmao. have you ever lived with your girlfriend/boyfriend?   yes.  we lived with another couple, who were our friends. how do you feel about your relationship status?   it's boring and lonely. how many relationships have you been in?   one legitimate one.  one puppy-love.  one misunderstanding that lasted less than a day. what’s something you do that really frustrates people who are closest to you?   i can be VERY passive and submissive.  like, ask me what i wanna do?  "i don't care."  wanna do this, brittany?  "if you want to."  is this fine for dinner, brittany?  "sure, if you feel like making it."  colleen HATES this about me. do you care what people think?   sometimes.  sometimes not at all.  sometimes way too much. is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you?   not anymore.  jason was like that.  it was supernatural. do you like the color yellow?   no, actually. what was your favorite game when you were a child?   the spyro games. when was the last time you had blood drawn?   last time i was at the er for mental reasons.  they always take your blood to ensure you're not on drugs. have you ever hated someone but felt pity for them at the same time?   honestly?  no. what eyeshadow color suits you best?   black, baby. in regards to kissing, full on making-out or will a peck suffice?   depends on where we are and how passionate we're feeling. are you a ke$ha fan?   no. how short is too short for shorts/skirts?   please at least keep your full ass covered. have you even swam in a lake? did you freak out about the germs, afterwards?   i have, and not particularly. have you ever snuck-out to see a guy?   nope. does your cell-phone take decent pictures?   NO.  i actually still have my old phone just to take my selfies lmao. have you ever sexted?   it's my biggest regret. have you ever posed topless with a friend?   i have not. do you shed hair everywhere you go?   ha ha yeah. where do you part your hair?   to the far left do you talk with your hands?   absolutely.  jason used to make fun of me for it, then he started to do it. do guy's adams apple's gross you out?   no. lil' wayne, hopsin, kanye west, or kid cudi?   i don't particularly like any of them, but there is a song by hopsin that makes me laugh. have you ever questioned your mental health?   i'm not questioning it, i've accepted it. when you go to the beach, are you swimming, tanning, playing, or searching for shells?   swimming and looking for shells! do you wash your hair every day?   no, that's bad for you. do you have long eyelashes?   my old english teacher stopped class just to point out they were once lmao.

[hauntednightmarekitty]

Chapter 4

Sylas

Homecoming is tomorrow and instead of trying to find a date I'm sitting on my bed texting a random internet girl from Tumblr. 

Fox: So, do you have any weekend plans? Sadly I'm just gonna stay home with my dog and watch old figure skating videos. Johnny Weir is my favorite lol.

Me: Well, I was planning on going to the homecoming game and dance, but I don't have anybody to go with me. 

Fox: It's too bad that we probably don't go to the same school because I'd go with you. 

Me: I'll just text you the whole time. It'll seem like we're going together. 

Fox: But I already have a date with Johnny Weir :'(

Me: Am I not better than him? 

Fox: Nope, not even close. I wanna be him one day, soooo…

Me: I'm heartbroken. I can't even compete with a gay man. 

Fox: Nope, you can't :p

Me: You're gonna make me cry. 

Fox: I can't help that. 

Mom pops her head into my room and I quickly turn off my phone. "What do you need, mom?" I groan. 

"I was just wondering if you were doing anything tomorrow." She says.

"Yeah, I was planning on going to the homecoming stuff. I think I'm gonna go with Andi. As friends. Don't read into this." 

"Oh, I was hoping we could rent a movie and order pizza like old times." 

I flop back on my bed. "If you really want it to be like old times then we should move back to Portland and buy our old apartment." 

"You know we can't do that." She says and sits on the edge of my bed. 

"Why not? We were doing just fine back in Portland." 

"Yeah, with your dad's salary, but after he decided to leave me for… him… I was barely able to stay afloat. The cost of living is cheaper here plus I'm making more money." 

"But we could've just gotten a cheaper apartment or you could've gotten a better job here. Or you could've made dad pay child support. He betrayed us. He deserves it." 

"We were already living in a small two bedroom apartment, and I don't need your dad's money. We're doing just fine now." 

"Just go. I'm going to the homecoming stuff tomorrow. Not hanging out with you." 

I managed to drag Andi to the game, but I only convinced her to come with the promise of snacks. At the snack cart I see a familiar face. Luka. He's buying popcorn and looks too happy. So, I walk up to him and bump his arm to make him drop his popcorn. 

"Hey, what gives!" He exclaims then looks over at me and goes paper white. 

"What'd you just say to me?" I ask with a smirk. 

"Nothing…" He mumbles and crouches down to pick up the popcorn mess. 

"That's what I thought. What are you even doing here? I thought you had no friends." 

"I'm watching football…" 

"You? Watching football? By yourself?" 

"Is that so surprising?" 

"Yeah. I thought you'd rather be dead than go to a school event. In fact why don't you go home and die? Nobody wants you here anyways." 

He flinches and drops the popcorn he was picking up. He gets up and starts walking back to the stands. 

"Hey, don't walk away from me!" I shout at him, but he just keeps walking. Jerk. 

I sit back down with Andi and she takes the popcorn that I bought. 

"Thank you," she mumbles shyly and pops some popcorn in her mouth. 

"No problem, I did make you come." I wrap an arm around her shoulders and she flinches away. 

"I need to use the restroom," she whispers and basically runs away. Lady issues? No matter, everyone's still running away from me today. Do I stink or something? 

About halfway through the game Andi comes back and delicately sits next to me again. "You good?" I ask and she nods. I notice her gaze on a goth girl a few rows ahead of us though. Maybe I should ask about that. "So, who's the girl you're staring at?" 

She blushes and mumbles, "That's Toni, she's really cool, but she'd never talk to me." 

"You don't know unless you try."

"Trust me. All of her friends are goth or scene." 

I shrug, "your loss." 

"I guess…" She mumbles, but she spends the rest of the game and dance staring at her. 

Luka

After the game Lillian lets me go home and I spend the next few hours watching old figure skating competitions with my geriatric newfypoo, Bear. I've always found figure skating so pretty. Pretty enough that I've tried to teach myself some of it and I think I've been getting pretty good. I try to practice at least once a week and it's one of the only reasons why I'm as in shape as I am. I played on my school's hockey team freshman year, and warmed the bench last year, even though I'm better than half that team, but figure skating has always been my passion. I just wish Liam would stop teasing me about it and calling it a gay sport. 

About halfway through hour four I hear a crash in the kitchen and Bear jumps off the bed to investigate. I put my laptop and follow him because I am also curious about what's going on. 

I end up finding Liam on the floor of our kitchen with his legs intertwined with a fallen bar stool. Bear is licking his hand trying to make sure he's ok.

Just as I'm reaching down to check on him he looks up at me and slurs, "Luka, when did you get here?" 

"We should get you to bed before mom or dad find you," I whisper and offer him my hand. 

"Why should I listen to you?" He slurs rather loudly. 

"Because I'm sober and you're not. And be quiet. You'll wake mom and dad." I grab his hand and pull him up. I then lean him against the counter and set the bar stool back up. 

Liam dry heaves and almost falls again. I barely catch him and he leans most of his weight against me and we stagger to his room. I basically throw him onto his bed and I start taking off his shoes. 

"Luka, can I tell you a secret?" He asks. 

"Sure, whatever," I grunt while trying to tuck him into bed and find him some Advil for the morning. 

"I wish you had succeeded in killing yourself. Then maybe mom and dad would actually pay attention to the rest of us instead of focus all of their attention on their darling baby boy." He rolls onto his side and closes his eyes after dropping this bombshell. "I mean, you're not even dad's kid, so I don't know why he cares so much. You're just some bastard that mom cheated on dad to have. That's why we left France, you know." 

I sigh and decide to not find him Advil. Instead I just go back to the kitchen to get myself a glass of ice water. When I go in there though I find mom leaning against the sink drinking something. 

"Mom?" I ask. 

She looks at me and smiles. "Did Liam just get home? It's way after curfew." 

"Yeah, he stumbled in and was definitely wasted." 

"I don't know where I went wrong with raising him." 

"Mom… why did we leave France?" 

"I've told you. Your dad got offered a better job and it seemed like we could give you guys a better life here, so we moved." 

"The real reason, please. We don't lie to each other now, do we?" 

She sighs and looks away. "I cheated on your dad, and he didn't exactly trust me anymore. So, he asked his boss if there was some other town that he could transfer to because he wanted to get the family away and start fresh. Well, his boss told him that the only place they could transfer him to was a new office in the states. Luckily, your dad had enough experience that he got promoted when he transferred and became a department head, so it really was better for the family." 

I nod and cross my arms. 

"You should probably go to bed, Luka, it's getting late." She kisses my forehead and Bear and I go back into my room to watch more figure skating. 

[kellyzeagman]

Hello hello

In 2 days I will officially have 1 MONTH LEFT. 4 weeks sounds better, 30 days sounds even better. Two girls from my team leave tomorrow (the 5th). So happy for them to get to go home, but honestly it’s going to be really sad to see them go. We got really close. Sydney is from Halifax so perhaps our paths will cross again, but Vera lives all the way in Russia so who knows if we will ever meet again, I really hope we can. Two great girls gone at the same time. Also it’s a bit sad in the sense that them leaving makes everyone else want to leave as well. We are all jealous. Our team of 12 has stayed the same since October. No new people and no one has left. My boss and other co workers have said they have never had a group stay the same for so long, because on bigger ships and ships with different itineraries, teams change up all the time, even every 2 weeks. Some ships even have 30+ youth staff, whereas we just had a tight group of 12. So, this has been so great getting to know everyone for 4 months without changes. Two new girls from England will be coming on the 5th to replace them. It will be nice to meet new people and have a bit of change, but the two leaving will definitely be missed! I feel very lucky to have been a part of such a strong team that all gets along and works well together.

Anyways, I guess cruise ship life is filled with lots of quick hellos and goodbyes, only this time you don’t know if you’ll ever see them again. It’s going to be so weird when they leave, considering we all spend every waking minute together. Working, eating, going out, drinking, hanging out at ports, relaxing, etc.. you see them all day every day. I guess I’m just not used to people leaving yet whereas everyone else is. The 5th is our biggest turnaround day yet. 200 people signing off, and 200 people signing on. They also said it’s the biggest cruise so far in terms of provisions (loading on/off). Think of how much food and drink and other supplies will be needed for 2 weeks, crazy. When I say turnaround day, I’m referring to the day that all the people from the previous cruise leave, and a few hours hours later all the new people from the next cruise come one it’s QUITE the operation. I can’t believe people leave and come on all in a matter of hours. Last guests usually get off around 9:30, then people can start coming on around 10:30/11:30. Insane.

We have now completed our 3 day and 2 day cruises. Still seems like such a waste of man power/ resources/ fuel to have people on for this short of time. I thought it would have been a lot crazier, but it wasn’t too bad. The kids were definitely not the best behaved. Quick and cheap cruise= no cares. We now move onto our 2 week cruise. Thankfully, I think there’s only 300ish kids and half of them are teenagers. It should make for a more relaxing and less stressful time. However, the 2 week cruise is already starting off on a rough note and it doesn’t even start till tomorrow. Two of our ports (Lifou and Mare) are not letting any cruises stop for the time being because of the coronavirus. Purely just for their safety, if it ever reached these islands and spread, it would be so horrible because they have very little resources and medical care. So, it’s to protect them. For us though, we’ve had to change some things around.

Now because of the 2 cancelled ports, we had to add another port to the schedule and they’ve actually turned it into an overnight stay. Luganville, Vanuatu. It’s such a questionable place to have an overnight. Usually, overnights happen in European places where there’s a lot of stuff near the ship and great night life, where people can walk off and explore and party and then walk back on whenever. We have been to luganville one other time last minute because of a change in schedule and there’s really noooooothing there. It’s about a 15 minute walk to the “downtown” which is so incredibly poor and rundown. And not to be judgemental, but if anyone took that 15 minute walk at night during the overnight to go downtown for god knows what, I feel like it would be pretty dangerous. It will be interesting. There’s a lot of cool places/beaches to drive to during the day, but night time is gonna be a bit sketch. We shall see. I won’t be getting off at night. Guests probably aren’t going to be very happy, so hopefully they just decide to not come. ;) the kid count just got printed off and there will only be about 133 kids which is AMAZING. I’m sure they will still be just as loud and competitive as ever.

Aussie kids are a different breed. The sound of 6-11 year old boys screaming “YOU’RE OUT” during ball games will truly echo in my head until the day I die. It sounds more like “uuurrrrr aaauuutt”. It’s the most annoying thing in the world and happens constantly for 9 hours of my day almost every day. I really do think that they are very different than Canadian kids that I’ve worked/volunteered/interacted with. It will be interesting coming home to see how different they really are and compare. Lots of my friends are saying the Australian kids we’ve had this contract are the toughest kids they’ve ever had to deal with. They definitely aren’t as chill or laid back as I thought they would be. There’s also endless amounts of kids considered “special attention” meaning ADHD, anxiety etc.. again, people say more than any other countries they have done. Now that I’m finishing this up, I feel I can do anything. My Russian friend was part of the nursery staff. We all rotate age groups, but there’s 2 girls who spend 95% of their time in the nursery. Now that she’s gone, I am the one taking her spot in the nursery, as I’ve been the one spending most of the time in the nursery when one of the two girls are off. I’m excited because babies and toddlers are super cute. It’s stressful In different ways compared to the 3-11 year olds. You can have up to 8 babies in the nursery.

On turnaround day after the 3 day cruise I had the entire day off. This was probably going to be my last full day to explore Sydney, so I decided to do the hop on hop off bus tour. Of course, it was pouring rain. But rain never killed nobody so I still went. I brought a rain jacket and sat alone at the top with my hood on, still great. I only got off at bondi beach, where I spent about 3 or 4 hours. When I got there it was so incredibly cloudy, but it’s still quite the sight to see. First thing first I went to the nearest vegan joint where I could stuff my face. I went to a savoury vegan pie place, absolutely amazing. Got mashed potatoes, gravy, two pies and an Oreo milk shake. ALSO the cafes dog sat beside me the entire time I ate, which was SO nice because before this, I had only interacted with one dog in the last 4 months, which was a stray on the beach. This one was nice and clean and friendly and was so nice to actually pet and hangout with a dog. 2 dogs in 4 months for a brief amount of time is sad. It was everything I didn’t know I needed. I will think about that meal until I get to come home. The food situation on the ship is still so unfortunate for me, so any food that isn’t what I eat every day at the mess is amazing to me. If you want a bit of an idea, this is it. The ship hardly has any vegetarian options, let alone vegan. Every day they have a vegetarian table with 4 options. 98% of the time it is a creamy soup and some sort of casserole with cheese or cream, so can’t have either of those. The other 2 are almost always steamed cauliflower, or ratatouille. I’m done with both, I’ve had it too many times. Aside from that vegetarian specialty table, there’s some other things throughout the mess. I pretty much switch up between pasta, rice, salad, peanut butter sandwiches, roast potatoes, cereal and cucumbers every day. I’m reallllllyyyy over it. So I try and go crazy on food every time I get off in Sydney.

ANYWAYS- After lunch at bondi I walked to length of the beach watching the surfers while walking through the incredibly cold water. There’s a reason they all wore wet suits. The sand was soooo nice and soft, probably the nicest I’ve ever walked on. I had so much time there that I debated booking a surfing lesson but had no bathing suit or towel. I will definitely come back to do it one day in my life!! The area of Bondi itself is so hip and laid back. Everyone is SO beautiful and I felt out of place as I was soaking wet like a drenched rat in my raincoat while they were all in their surf and beach attire. It was probably the coolest place I’ve ever been in the sense of atmosphere and vibes. I didn’t feel cool enough to be there, especially alone hahaha. Loads of backpackers and tourists. Tons of surf shops, souvenirs stores and cafes/restaurants. I imagine it is a very prestigious place to live and super expensive. The views/locations around bondi have to be some of the best/most expensive in the world. I would love to spend a few days there to truly soak in the atmosphere, though I did pretty much everything in under 4 hours. Love you Bondi!!

Hmm what else to say. That girl who I said was coming from China and gonna be confined for 2 weeks isn’t coming anymore because they aren’t sending Chinese people anymore. However, they did end up sending back the same captain that we had during the Asian season and he is from China. He is confined to his room for 2 weeks, but his room is enormous and has all the bells and whistles, so I don’t feel too bad. OH, I finally have a new roommate, I don’t remember if I said this last time. Solo living has officially come to an end. She’s from Indonesia and works for housekeeping. She’s very quiet but has worked on ships before, she looks to be around my age. We work opposite shifts most times. She usually works during the night while I’m sleeping, and she sleeps during the day while I work. It’s been good, but I definitely miss having my own room, though I still kind of feel like I do because we hardly see each other.