#i am so tired... i got like 4 ish hours of sleep last night. which is better than it couldve been. but still not a lot.

[orcelito]

Finished my final presentation for data governance AND my 4th essay exam for gender communication today, + got the essay exam turned in on time (more noteworthy than normal essays bc I had to physically bring it to my professor's office lol). *and* my class today was the last official class of the semester.

The only things I have left to do are take an exam today for my persuasion class, finish up the report for data governance by tomorrow night (which is the more in-depth version of the presentation I gave today), and then read 1.5 books for gender communication by Monday, and then I'll be DONE!!!!!

I'm almost there... and today was the hardest stretch, I think. Well, it's not over yet lol, but the exam is actually open until noon tomorrow now, so I'm gonna take a nap and see how I'm feeling. Need to do Some work tonight at least, bc 1.5 books is a Lot to read in just a few days (teehee)(the chronic procrastinator)

I'm doing it tho. I'm getting all of it done. And I really feel like I might actually get straight As this time.

[purplesurveys]

1727

Did you get enough rest last night?  I really didn't. I slept at 5 AM thinking that would surely let me sleep in the entire morning, but my body still automatically woke me up at 9 and didn't let sleep again by then.

What was the last thing that kept you awake?  That would be right now – I finished off the entire first season of D.P. which I ended at around half past midnight, and now I'm back in my room downing the rest of my coffee with no intention to sleep yet, even with just four hours of rest haha.

If you have pets, do they sleep in your bedroom at night?  No, they have their own corner in the living room.

Can you sleep with background noise or does it keep you up?  It helps me fall asleep as the light noise gives me a sense of security, so I kind of need it.

Do you ever take naps? Do you take long naps or little power naps?  Occasionally. I can never do power naps as they always end up feeling super insufficient for me, and I prefer having 3-4 hour naps.

What helps when you have trouble sleeping?  I'd need to go through my phone and watch a lot of videos since that quickly gets the job done.

Who was the last person to cook you a meal? What did they make?  My mom made pasta for sharing a few days ago.

Who was the last person you cooked a meal for? What did you make?  I don't cook for anyone, because I don't cook.

Who is your female celeb crush? (If applicable)  Song Hye Kyo, Park Jihyo.

Who is your male celeb crush? (If applicable)  RM of BTS.

Tell me about an interesting article you’ve read recently.  Andi shared a pretty unique piece with me this morning which was basically a personal essay of why McDonald's' Coke seems to taste better than Coke literally anywhere else. It was silly yet insightful, mundane yet so weirdly intriguing and fascinating. For somebody who doesn't even like soda, I found myself reading until the very end. I liked it a lot and subscribed to that author right away lol.

Do you have a favorite Marvel character?  I'm not into anything superhero.

Favorite DC character?  Yeah, no.

Do you read comic books?  I tried getting into them but I got tired of faking it LOL so I just accepted that comic books and superheroes and I will never mix.

Has a horror film ever actually scared you? Which one(s)?  I found Paranormal Activity to be a refreshing horror concept for its time and it successfully gave me the creeps, especially with the multiple endings. The sequels unsurprisingly didn't hold up the same magic but I'm very much willing to defend the first movie to my grave haha. OH Midsommar was also super freaky. I nearly refused to drive home that night because I was afraid of seeing the trees in the neighborhood suddenly pulsating.

What was the last horror movie you saw? The Menu counts as horror-ish, no?

What was the first horror movie you remember seeing? What did you think of it?  The Exorcist. I was 12 and immediately downloaded a torrent when a quick "what's the scariest movie ever" Google search led me to that movie. In hindsight, though, because I already had expectations of how scary it is, I think that sort of pre-conditioned me to be more sensitive to the jump scares and all the freaky shit that happened in the movie – so 13 years ago, I was definitely spooked.

Realistically though, I feel if I watched it again now at 25 I'd probably find some of the effects more comedic than scary, BUT one thing I'll never get over are *those* demonic images that pop up like three times across the movie. Regardless of how old I get I feel like I'll always look away from those lol.

Name a few historical figures you find interesting. Why?  I recently learned about Herbert K. Pililaau, the US soldier who fought off Korean soldiers on his own while the rest of his crew? platoon? (idk terms) had been assigned somewhere else at the time. Fucking dude kept firing until he was out of ammunition; then switched to grenades; then when he ran out of those too, ended up with knife in one hand, fist in the other to fight the best and longest he could before he was finished off; when he was found, he was surrounded by more or less 40 soldiers he managed to kill. Obviously I don't support war and this is a shitty story all around, but this scenario is straight out of a movie.

What is your favorite historical film and why?  Gone with the Wind. I have yet to understand the complexities and deeper contexts behind the Civil War and all other questions related toit; and when I say it's my favorite it's largely because of the production value and how unprecedented such a movie was to have come out at the time it did.

Do you usually enjoy historical films?  Yes, as long as they don't extremely deviate from or betray things that actually happened, especially if we're covering atrocities or human right violations.

Name a sequel film (any franchise) you like better than the first film. Why is that?  Shrek 2. It's the Shrek movie I grew up with so I'll always be biased towards it.

Which do you find most interesting: Greek, Roman, or Norse mythology? Why?  Eugh, I really dislike mythology haha.

Which tale from whichever mythology you listed above do you find most interesting?  I read Percy Jackson and that's the most I'll read as far as mythology.

Do you collect anything? What was the last item you added to that collection?  Just BTS merch. Last things that arrived were my copies of D-Day and Face, but I'm expecting my orders of Jack in the Box and Layover to arrive October latest.

Do you have any houseplants?  We do, but it's my mom who takes care of them.

How do you like your tea?  As coffee.

Who is your favorite Muppet?  Wasn't really raised on Muppets.

What is your favorite type of bird?  Penguins. < Yes.

Which streaming platform do you use the most, if any?  Spotify.

What is a skill or useful piece of knowledge you wish you’d learned sooner?  How to pack smart.

What is your favorite vampire movie?  TWILIGHT SAGA ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Your favorite fictional couple?  Chandler and Monica from Friends; Glenn and Maggie from The Walking Dead; Mark and Joanna from Two for the Road.

Do you have a favorite historical couple?  Not really, no.

Have you received any good news recently?  Nah.

Have you learned anything new recently?  I took the 16 personalities test earlier for my ~annual check-in and found out I've switched from an ESFJ to an ESTJ. No big change other than the fact that I apparently think more with my head now hah.

[leggigoesabroad]

we pick up at Mahali Mzuri, for our afternoon game drive. Spoiler, this one was EPIC. At this point we’ve been on a fair number of game drives, so we can’t expect all of them to have something super special and exciting. The “normal” crew you see pretty much every time are zebra, impala, gazelle, buffalo of some kind, etc. Very often, giraffes (which I actually never tire of - they’re all so stunning in their own way and I’m obsessed with their markings and watching them walk/amble.) But the more rare sightings can’t be an every day occurrence. We had been bombing around the Mara a little bit and not seeing too much, and the sun was going to set fairly soon so I figured we’d head back. We came across some jackals fighting over a baby gazelle (😭) and then hyenas, both of which were new for me, so that was cool - and then Betty turned a corner and we came upon a clearing I between some bushes, sort of like a protected circle, of FOURTEEN SLEEPING LIONS. Four big males, some adult females, and maybe about five cubs. The cubs weren’t brand new, but not fully teenagers either - probably like the size of a medium dog, maybe 40-50 pounds. It was… magical. Twelve out of the 14 were passed out asleep, and two of the cubs were NOT TIRED! And wanted to PLAY! They kept wrestling with each other, or going over to jump on their sleeping dads (straight out of Lion King) and the males would wake up and gently ROAR “no, you’re annoying, stop” just enough to scare the cubs into going elsewhere. Watching these cubs tackle each other, balance all four paws on their dad’s big bellies, bite the big manes, plan their attacks and creep up as a game… I will never forget it. It goes under the list I’m keeping of “soul rearrangements” which I credit to my colleague, Erica, who went on her first safari last year and said that after the sunrise over the Maasai Mara while ballooning, she felt her soul had simply been rearranged. It’s a poetic way to describe a complicated feeling: gratitude, stillness, incredulity, you name it. The other vehicles started pulling away, but we stayed until the very last second, when it was officially dark and we had to go. I could have watched them all for hours. I often get a little bored at animal sightings, like ready to move on once I’ve seen it, but with these lions I was the absolute last one wanting to go.

We had an early bedtime because the next morning was a 4:30 am departure time for hot air ballooning in the Maasai Mara. WHEW. somehow, I had no anxiety dreams about oversleeping, and I fell perfectly asleep around 9:45 pm so kind of got a good night’s sleep. Woke up to the hippos and the hyraxes absolutely mooing and screeching away, and popped out of bed. We left at 4:30 and drove about an hour ish to the balloon launch site, across EXTRA bumpy roads. These types of roads are a weird combination of lulling you to sleep, while also not being quite comfortable enough to ever rest. The vehicles are as comfortable as you can get, but there’s not a great place to rest feet/heads/etc. Just when I was getting super over it (and in the pitch black) we pulled up to the large clearing, where several balloons were being fired up and the sun was slowly starting to rise. Probably about 25 total people there from all different safari companies, which I’m told is dead quiet compared to peak season. Krista and I were put in a balloon with about 7 other people. The balloon is divided into five compartments: one rectangle down the middle for the pilot only, underneath his controls; then four squares aligning with the four corners of the balloon basket, separated by thick wicker. You get in on your back, crawling in with the basket on its side, and laying down facing up, in each compartment. A little awkward, but you have to start that way so they can tilt the balloon and basket up once it’s fully inflated and ready to go. There’s a whole team of guys assisting the pilot and manning the balloon strings on the outside until it’s time to let us go. Then… up up and away! I wasn’t scared at all, like I thought I would be. We really don’t go THAT high up, and it’s very slow and gentle. They only balloon in a very calm, flat place of the Mara, so there are no trees or power lines or any obstacles. They say they can’t control WHERE you go, just the altitude and the general direction depending on the wind. All the balloons went roughly the same way and we flew for about an hour before landing. As promised, it was stunning. Just a million colors of the sunrise, paired with the vast panorama of the entire Maasai Mara stretched before us. Almost no sounds to be heard, other than the whooshing of the hot air gas being intermittently pushed into the balloon, and the birds. I spent most of the ride just resting my chin on my arms, on my corner of the balloon, taking it in. Like an hour-long, peaceful meditation. Landing went well, and then our driver picked us up to take us to the hot breakfast site that was being prepared for us and the others with the same balloon company.

We pulled up and were immediately served mimosas, and directed to our white linen tables as the crew finished all the breakfast prep. It was a buffet, with hot items made to order. They even had two pop up bathrooms with a tent around the toilets - called “loo with a view”. I sat next to the other people in my balloon, and the guy next to me introduced himself as Ahad and asked where I was from. I said Denver, and he was too! He lives right next to my old apartment in Five Points and we had much to talk about. He also runs a company that consults for management and employees and teaches them how to improve culture. I was like, were you planted here to marry me?? TBD if I think he’s cute or realistic but we definitely aligned in all the personality ways, so we’ll see when we get home. I also chatted forever with a girl from the nearby town, Norah, who was there because her sister is married to the guy who owns the balloon company. She’s 23 and I loved her. She doesn’t want to stay in her village and get married, she wants to move to NEW YORK CITY! I was thisclose to just asking for her routing number. She gave me her Instagram name to follow her but I didn’t have service, and when I went to look it up after, it didn’t work. Either she fake-numbered me or there was some kind of issue and I’m Very Sad about it, because we bonded hard. I even did like an hour of investigative journalism that night to try to get to the bottom of it using what I knew of her sister and the balloon company, but no dice. I’ll probably just hire a private investigator when I get home.

After all of this, it was only like 9:15 am. I had been up for almost 6 hours and had done so much already! Wesley and our balloon driver, Carol, drove us over to another area of the park when we were done, because they had heard there was a cheetah sighting. We did end up finding the mama in the distance, but she kept moving around and we couldn’t get too close, and didn’t want to stress her out. She was separated from her cubs but within eyesight of them, and we looked at them through binoculars. We turned around to leave, and then came right across the mama, 10 feet in front of us. Killed the engine and sat quietly just observing her massive, sleek, majestic form. She made a sound calling out for her cubs, and the four of them came sprinting over to her, and all five paused right in front of us. I still can’t believe it, even typing this. There are only 25 cheetahs left in the entirety of the Maasai Mara, and five of them stood within 10 feet of us. I wanted to cry. They slowly ran away, and we all sat there dumbstruck. Two days, two unbelievably beautiful big cat moments, with incredible luck, just served up for us. As soon as that happened, I felt like I could go home if I had to. No one could possibly stay this lucky. We got home and rested the rest of the day, and I got a massage and read by the pool. I feel strongly that rest and reflection are equally important parts of safari as the actual experiences themselves. It’s like meditating - you need to live life, then experience stillness. Too much of either won’t help, as they’re a precious balance.

[cicadidae-tm9899]

““

man there is something about consistently being 2 hours away from my parents that just subtly fucks with me. like i’ve completely fucked my sleep schedule to the point that i’m staying up until like 4 am every night and then sleeping until noon. I think it’s the distance, unfamiliar places, and the fact that it’s summer and i don’t have a job yet (i have an interview on wednesday! wish me luck!!) so it doesn’t feel like i have anything i really need to do during the day, which sucks extra because i could just get the shit i’m doing at 2 am done at like noon, but for some reason my brain doesn’t work that way. there’s been a lot of uneasy naps at 3pm this week and either that’s the reason my whole body feels like shit, or it’s the fact that i found a sports bra that’s basically a binder and i’ve been wearing 1 of the 2 i bought every day all week. I’m so fucking tired dude omg. i just want to sleep but my new house isn’t quite familiar enough that i can be completely comfortable in it yet, which is doubled by the fact that i have exactly 2 pieces of furniture in here, one of which is my bed. and my daily life is so passively stressful. like it’s a waiting game at this point in pretty much everything important. i’m waiting for my hs to send my college my test scores and final transcript so i can actually register for classes, i’m waiting for replies back from job applications so i can pay for utilities and food, i’m waiting for my sister to get better about managing her nutrition and shit so i don’t feel guilty Mentioning food that i enjoy. it just sucks. and i know i don’t have it that bad, even in just my family. Like my older sister just recently got diagnosed with type1 diabetes and feels shitty all the time, and now on top of that and summer school and her new-ish job, she has to deal with my lazy ass while i procrastinate some of the most important things in my life like they’re not literally the only things i have to do right now. it’s not like i won’t have any freetime if i just buckle down and do these things, but i’m so worried that something bad is gonna happen and i’m gonna end up in a shitty job situation like my last job, or that i’m gonna get feelings for a coworker or classmate and rush into a relationship in like a month and then inevitably have a horrible breakup because either i started overthinking everything and started feeling icky or i find out that they’re secretly a shitty shitty person and i end up adding to the list of the walking red flags i’ve dated because i was too smitten or horny to recognize that these people weren’t actually cool and cute, and were actually some of the most horrible people i’ve ever met and would eventually leave me with even more self-confidence issues and the idea that anyone i have a romantic interest in only wants to take advantage of my “naivete” that’s actually just poorly masked autism and severe anxiety, and use me as a  way to get compliments or nudes.

[fappellmoan]

my roommate is being annoying as fuck but im being so brave about it

[bbyannabeth]

prompt from this list that i saw and couldn’t stop thinking about:

I didn't know you wore glasses and I'm thinking normal and platonic thoughts about you right now I swear

annabeth all but collapsed into the seat across from him. “i got no sleep last night,” she started, barely even bothering to look at percy as she opened her lunch. “and i ended up not even presenting today because the professor was sick. literally stayed up until 4 am for nothing.”

she angrily took a bite of her burrito bowl, stabbing the fork back down into the rice. finally, she looked up at percy, who was staring at her blankly. “what?” she asked.

“you wear glasses?”

a stupid question because obviously she did. they were square-ish frames, black and silver. the bottoms of the lenses rounded out a bit and rested gently on her cheeks. she had no makeup on, but the glasses highlighted her eyes in a similar way to how her mascara normally did, maybe even better. in the sunlight that washed over them as they sat on their usual picnic table, he was rendered speechless by how good she looked.

“oh,” annabeth said, slightly less pointed than before. “yeah. i always wear contacts, but i was too tired this morning.”

percy nodded dumbly, his lunch completely forgotten as he looked at her. annabeth didn’t seem to notice how his brain was short circuiting as she continued to eat and tell him all about how much effort she’d put into this presentation, only for her to still have three more days to work on it now.

percy didn’t realize he had a thing for moody girls in glasses, but he very much does. he’d always, on some level, recognized that annabeth was beautiful but it had never clicked in his head just how beautiful. now, as he tried to act normal and resume eating his sandwich, he was finding it increasingly hard to focus on what she was saying and instead found himself getting distracted by the way the light reflected off her glasses and onto her cheeks.

“you’re being weird,” she said after a few minutes.

“no, i’m not,” percy lied. he had just been studying the way her hair looked tucked behind her ear with the arm of her glasses holding the curls back. which was, admittedly, kind of weird of him.

“what’s up?”

“you just look so different with glasses, i don’t know,” he shrugged.

“you’re still on that?” she asked.

“i don’t know. it’s weird, okay?”

wrong thing to say, he realized immediately. but annabeth nodded once and said, “thanks.”

“not a bad weird,” he corrected himself. annabeth rolled her eyes though. she lifted the glasses off her face and instead set them on her head, pushing her hair away from her face.

“better?” she asked.

no, not better. it was worse, actually. because this was how annabeth normally looked to percy, and he was still tongue-tied over how fucking pretty she was.

“i like the glasses on you,” he said, trying to sound genuine. “they look good. good weird.”

annabeth stared at him for a few seconds before bringing down the frames again and settling them on her face.

“anyways,” she said, trying to steer the conversation towards something else. “did your quiz end up going okay?”

they fell into a relatively normal conversation, but percy couldn’t stop himself from occasionally losing focus. if annabeth noticed, which he was sure she did judging by the handful of odd looks she gave him, she didn’t say anything. they sat there for the next hour until percy had to leave for his next class.

“you should wear the glasses more often,” he said as he stood up from the table. “they suit you.”

annabeth stared at him, the look in her eyes hard to read. “you’re weird, jackson,” she said finally, but there was a hint of pink in her cheeks that hadn’t been there before.

“yeah, but you knew that already,” he smiled.

“that i did,” she nodded. “now go away.”

he left with a small wave, mind focused only on how the rims of her glasses looked brushing against the blush on her cheeks.

when he saw her the next day in their english class, she was wearing her glasses again.

[nothorses]

Top Surgery Journal

I figured it was time to share my top surgery experiences, so folks can potentially learn from them! I'll be updating this as I have more to add.

For context, I am in the U.S. (specifically Washington state), and a legal adult. A lot of my process may not apply to everyone.

Getting Coverage

The first step to scheduling top surgery is getting insurance coverage for it. Talk to your insurance first to figure out if they do cover top surgery, and what you need to do in order to obtain coverage. Oftentimes it won't be listed officially on your plan, but you can get coverage as long as you can prove you need it.

I was lucky enough to have good insurance with trans healthcare included, so all I needed was a letter from my PCP, and a letter from a behavioral health counselor specializing in gender dysphoria. I didn't need any diagnoses, any specific length of time on HRT, any particular presentation, etc.

(If you live in Washington, state law requires that top surgery be fully covered under Medicare. It might be worth it to check your state's laws as well!)

Referrals

I tried to schedule with a surgeon myself, thinking it was my responsibility to get the documents sent over and everything, but my PCP actually referred me when I first told her I had gotten coverage from my insurance.

I ended up going with that referral because the other surgeon was so hard to get ahold of, but my PCP did also send a referral to the surgeon I'd chosen before. I recommend going through your PCP for referrals first, as it takes a lot of the workload off of you- and they'll likely write a referral anyway when sending the documents needed for coverage over.

You may also find that the surgeon you talk to has different requirements than your insurance before performing top surgery. A referral from your PCP might bypass these requirements, but be sure to call them yourself and double-check. Your surgeon's office is supposed to call you to schedule a consultation, and they may not call you at all if you don't have all of those documents in- which means you can be left in limbo indefinitely, not knowing you need to send them more than you already did.

The Consultation

I was able to get a consultation about 5 weeks after calling, which was great! The consultation is your opportunity to ask the surgeon any questions you have, for them to evaluate your chest and what methods might work for you, and for you to see their results (most surgeons do not post result photos online for privacy reasons).

Come into the consultation with all the questions you have written down somewhere, so you don't forget. I asked:

If I could see photographs of his top surgery results

Which incisions he thought would work for me, stressing the things that were important to me: minimal recovery time, no free nipple grafts (I wanted to keep mine, but without risking a failed graft), and minimal chance of needing revisions

What my recovery would look like for the recommended incisions

Whether I will be getting drains (ideally, yes: drains reduce recovery time and the risk of needing revisions)

If he's had patients who have had complications (failed grafts, infections, need for revisions, etc.) and what he's done to reduce the chances of that happening again

My surgeon's results looked good (scars were even and symmetrical, healed nicely, etc.) and he answered my questions really well, so I was happy to go with him!

He recommended the fishmouth method for me, because recovery time would be minimal, there would be no need for nipple grafts, and my chest was small enough for it to work really well.

Scheduling the Surgery

My surgeon didn't have a very long waitlist, but it still took about 3 weeks for the clinic to process my request with my insurance (yes, even though I already had coverage). Once they'd processed that, they called me with a window of time I could schedule within; after a few months, insurance would no longer cover the surgery.

I got an extension, as I was working an intense summer job that I couldn't really take a few weeks off of to recover, then scheduled my surgery over the phone. They asked if I wanted a pre-op appointment, and I declined, as it'd mostly be information covered in the consultation or that could be given to me over the phone.

Preparing for Surgery

I wasn't given a check-in time for the hospital until about 2pm the day before, but they finally did call me and give me some instructions, including:

My check-in time and place

The hospital's phone number, to give to my ride/caretaker in case they had questions

That I was not to bring visitors (cause covid)

To bring my ID, insurance card, and credit card

That I was not to eat or drink anything after 12am that night (I did drink a bit of water with my meds, which they seemed fine with)

To shower with antibacterial soap the night before, and the morning of the surgery

Not to wear hair or skin products like deoderant or gel

Not to wear any jewelry, or anything else removable that wasn't just a clothing item.

When I checked into the hospital, they had my fill out some paperwork including the name and number of my ride and caretaker (which could be the same or separate people; they called the ride number when it was time to pick me up, and the caretaker number with detailed updates on my progress). Then they had me change into the hospital gown and answer some medical history questions, prepped me with an IV, and had a nurse, both anesthesiologists involved in my surgery, and my surgeon check in with me for more information and to answer any last questions I had.

I was told to use the bathroom about 20 minutes before I would be going under for my surgery (to avoid needing a catheter), and once I did, they injected some anesthetic into my IV and I passed the fuck out.

After Surgery

I showed up to the hospital at about 9am, and the prepping ended around 11am. The surgery was scheduled to end at 2pm; I wasn't conscious until about 3pm.

They had me use the restroom again (I passed out on the floor of the bathroom because it was way too soon, lmao), and I was in and out of sleep until I finally used the bathroom on my own at about 5pm. At that point I was a lot more lucid; I had some toast and pudding, and the nurse called my caretaker to go over post-op instructions with us both.

After that I dressed myself, was wheeled out to pick up my pain meds at the in-hospital pharmacy, then hopped in the car with my ride (the wonderful @lillia-pad) at about 5:30pm.

Recovery

I have a pretty high tolerance for anesthetic, so I was mostly just tired during the 36-ish hours the anesthetic continued to wear off. I didn't experience any nausea or lightheadedness either, but I was given an anti-nausea patch behind my left ear, plus some anti-nausea meds, just in case.

My post-op regimen sort of looks like this:

Take 1-2 tablets of oxycodone every 4 hours (for pain)

Take 2 tablets of laxative meds twice a day (cause pain meds cause constipation)

Empty drains twice per day, and record how much was in them

Get up and walk around every couple of hours to reduce the risk of blood clots

Ease into eating again: start with clear fluids, and work up to crackers/bread/etc., to avoid nausea and vomiting.

Lay down propped up on plenty of pillows, and only on your back (no side-sleeping!)

Keep the compression binder/gauze on for the first 48 hours, then remove them to shower as needed (but put them back on after!)

I was pretty lucid by the third day post-surgery, and was able to scale my pain meds down pretty quickly from 2 tabs on the first day, to 1 tab for the next two days, to 1/2 tab. Meds are much more important at night, when there's nothing to distract you from the pain- don't be afraid to ration them for nighttime.

Oxycodone also definitely causes drowsiness, so I took a lot of "oxy naps" about 45-60 minutes after I took my meds, which last between 20 minutes and 2 hours depending on how tired I am.

I have my post-op this week, so I will update this post with more details on my scars and healing then!

[orcelito]

Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍

Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.

But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.

I do need to eat. But... later...

[deltastorm101]

So, I tried to calculate Control...

... and its Epic Games deal, with the help of my certified smooth brain™ and probably incorrect sources. I started this last night hella tired and with a headache, I have finished it up today hella tired and with a headache, and this is what I produced: bullshit! :D But hey, at least double checked bullshit that’s open for discussion and contribution and expansion. Also, I probably won’t list the sources because a) I’m lazy and b) I didn’t have to dig thaaat deep down to find all this so if you really wanna know you could probably hit google with it as well. Anyhow here we go lol So, the initial thought which got all of this rolling was the 2020-wrap-up-post Remedy linked on their twitter, and Epic’s linked publishing announcement in it: studios Remedy, Playdead and GenDesign will release their next next-gen games with Epic. Now, we all know Remedy are working on some sort of Alan Wake-ish thing as we speak (right? right?? god I hope so), which meanssss our boy will most likely be an Epic exclusive. Which makes me kinda sad because, well. I’m deep in Steam’s ass. Hell, I waited for Control for a full year before I played it because they can pry the Steam version from my cold dead hands. So I asked myself... was it worth it for them? How much money did they throw at Remedy (and 505 Games) to have them play along? Would they have reached more people from the get-go if they had released it on Steam right away? Did the individual programmer, designer, writer, artist, person behind it profit from this at all? (Also, like, about the rights and copyright thing,,,,, you’d think they could have learned from Alan Wake and its IP belonging to Microsoft and so not really being able to do anything more with it because they don’t ���own’ it and shit) buuut anyway that’s not the point of this post, now it’s time to do some MATH BABEY

Ok, let’s start with some things we know. Facts. Figures. Data. Turns out my initial question, how much money was involved, could be answered by doing one (1) google search: according to Wikipedia, Epic gave Remedy and 505 Games €9.49mio. The total budget for the game was €26.9mio over the course of 3 years of development. We know that as of December 2020, over 2mio copies of the game were sold, with November 2020 being the best-selling month ever since its initial release in August 2019. This is where question 1) comes into play: how many of those 2 million copies were sold in 2019 and how many in 2020? Stay tuned, I think I found out.

We know that Remedy gets to keep 45% of the revenue, which, I assumed, means that 505 keeps the remaining 55% (probably a lot more going on there but shhh). We know that Control’s sales cooked up €17.84mio in 2019 (so months September – December), €17.7mio of those in the first month alone (O.O). Side note: because it came out at the very end of August, I’ll ignore that month and declare September the first sales month.

We know that 60% of sales in 2019 were digital ones (aka Epic Store, mostly), 40% physical ones (consoles PS4 and XB1), while in 2020, only 10% of sales were physical and a whopping 90% digital; which is people on Epic who wanted to get their hands on the first DLC and – you guessed it – the Steam release of the Ultimate Edition in August 2020.

Which begs question 2): what’s bigger, 60% of 2019 sales because ‘ooh shiny new game’, or 90% of 2020 sales because ‘yay steam release’? The answer may look obvious, but you have to take into account the dropping price, which I also researched for your pleasure and enjoyment.

For this I used a German website called idealo.de, which focuses on looking for the best deals for basically anything you can buy on the internet, and it also gives you diagrams that describe at which point in time the product was at which exact price. This is what it gave me: - release price: €60 - December 2019: €41 (PS4)/€44 (XB1) - mid-2020: €30 - Ultimate Edition release: €30 - December 2020: €14 (PS4)/€18 (XB1)/€30 (Ultimate Editions) At this point I was like “lol hold on i need chocolate for this cuz i’ll be here for some time *sweating*”

To continue this mess™, I see more questions: 3) How many employees does Remedy have, which positions do they work in and what are their salaries? 4) How many employees does 505 have, which positions and salaries do they have? 5) What’s the total revenue that Control has generated so far?

And also some more stuff like, are my numbers accurate, am I even grasping these concepts correctly, are there even more people involved or am I just trying to explain complete crap (yes) but let’s just ignore all of that shall we. At that point I went “oh shit what have i gotten myself into, this screen does not get my point across, i need pen and paper” and you know shit is gonna go DOWN when I do math on paper.

My paper math birthed the following calculation:

Following this up, we can calculate the end-of-2019 sales, if we set the price for September and October to €60, for November and December to approx. €45:

Now, you might notice that one of those numbers is big and the other is HUGE. Why might that be? Well...

- Covid19: everyone stayed at home and needed video games to play - More sale months of the year, naturally - dropping price: why get it for €60 when you can get it for 20 - Ultimate Edition: why buy it in June when you get more content in August aaaand... - it comes out on Steam.

With this in mind, let’s see what questions we can answer: 1) 661,110 copies in 2019; 1,338,889 copies in 2020 2) 60% digital sales in 2019 means 396,666 Epic copies; 90% digital sales in 2020 means 1,205,000 copies – most of it from Steam? Some of it? A good chunk? The bigger chunk? There’s no way of really knowing for sure but... you could read this into it. I definitely am. 3) Google told me Remedy had a little over 250 employees at the end of 2019... 4) ... and 505 has less than 100. I found no good sources for this, I think linkedin said 37, someone else said 50. I’ll just use the 50 figure, idk. No idea man. and for 5) I’ll contradict my point that the Steam release is what knocked the sales out of the park and assume that the number of sold copies stayed the same across all 12 months of 2020, which gives us this:

Ok and now we’re getting into the most dangerous of danger zones because I have no idea how companies or capitalism work, so for educated people™, the remaining calculations might read like a toddler wrote them; I apologize profusely and hereby present last night’s brain vomit:

As stated earlier, development took 3 years, but everyone wanted to get paid in 2020 as well so let’s use 4 years to find out the salaries, which is 48 months. Let’s assume the utopian idea that every employee on the line here gets the exact same amount of money (LOL ikr but shhhh, let’s live out our dirtiest equality fantasies for a second ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)). Which would mean...

And now without the Epic Deal™:

Quod erat demonstrandum. Remedy has been selling their souls to Epic for €350 a month since 2017. (I don’t mean this as maliciously as I’m making it sound, don’t worry xD)

OKAY SO, O B V I O U S L Y, I have not the slightest idea what on earth I’m talking about so read this like you’d read a good fanfiction. We don’t know the different salaries across the different positions (and genders HAH), we don’t know if other parties were involved, I’ve completely ignored the sum that Epic themselves get, I have ignored taxes, I don’t know if my numbers are accurate (they’re definitely not I mean 505 must have more employees than 50), if I made mistakes (yes), and also somewhere along the way I forgot to use the €26.9mio budget figure because, uuh, I have no idea where to use it, what it means, where did it come from, where did it go, cotton eye joe - but oh well, I’m not starting over, take it or leave it.

So... I can now officially say I have written hot steamy economics fic xD Man I put waaay too much time into this but damn was it fun. Good three-hour-deep-dive (two of them spent munching on chocolate half-asleep listening to psytrance to keep my brain twitchy). Real-life-theorizing. Fuck capitalism. Don’t do drugs. Pet a cat. Wear your mask. Call your grandparents.

If there’s typos in this I’m sorry but also I’m not, I can’t be bothered to proofread again lol. Goodnight imma catch up on the sleep I lost. Gotta love full moons

[croissantbae]

March 15, 2021

1. I can’t believe it’s almost been a month since Dani arrived. I feel like this time things are going by much faster. Again. So terrified for when Jason goes back to work.

2. Dani is killing me softly. I am terrified of the nights because of her. Take last night for example. Jason watched her until midnight. And then I took over. She would not sleep until 4 am ish. But because of daylight savings it was 5 am. When she woke up again an hours later I was too tired to hold her so I fed her while we were both laying down. And then just slept w her next to me even though it was so uncomfortable. I just couldn’t get it up. But I will stop cosleeping w her. I read this on my The Bump app yday. It’s like they knew I was cosleeping (I’m guessing a lot of moms do this time post partum bc of the sleep deprivation.

“Even if you’re going to doze off for just a few minutes, even if you remove your fluffy duvet to make it a “safe” co-sleeping bed, even if you only do it this one time, the truth is, it doesn’t matter. All it takes is a single opportunity for tragedy to strike. Co-sleeping statistics suggest the majority of sleep-related fatalities in babies can be chalked up to bed-sharing: A 2014 study found that 69 percent of babies were bed sharing at the time of their death. “I've had four families lose infants to SIDS when co-sleeping,” says Natasha Burgert, MD, FAAP, a general pediatrician in Kansas City, MO and the blogger behind KC Kids Doc. “There’s one thing every family who loses a baby to suffocation or asphyxiation when bed-sharing says: ‘I never thought it would happen to us.’” ‘

3. Even in the midst of that tiredness when I look at Dani I can’t help but acknowledge she’s so cute and I don’t hate her (lol).

4. When I have a moment of elation, to the point where I’m actually even smiling, I know a let down is on its way in a few seconds. Which sometimes is actually dreadful bc my boobs may already be so full.

5. We went to my moms house on Friday and when they heard it was Jasons last week of pat leave they were like we should do something fun, like go to big bear and normally I’m too lazy or it’s too daunting to go on a trip but I was like nah we got to do it. Now or never. Because once Jasons back at work we won’t have this type of opp again. And thus we booked an Airbnb and we are going Wednesday to Friday. I insisted Jason go snowboarding since he’s been talking about wanting to go for yearsssssssss. I’m sure he’ll be sore and dead after but I still think it will be worth it. Snow conditions will be amazing and he can finally live out his snowboarding fantasies. Even if it’s just to go down the slopes for a few hours.

I’m pretty excited to take naya out to see the snow. Hopefully she’ll like snow sledding.

[yawnjunie]

extra long tag game (seriously, it’s very long)

tagged by: @soobindipity​ (ty eri!)

tagging: @acethetiques​, @bloomingjun​, @txtdream​, @bulgo-gyu...(i’m honestly so lazy so if you want to do this, go ahead! feel free to ignore if you were tagged)

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

side effects! (oops this is a txt blog) but i’m pretty sure this is what made me want to stan skz! the song is very experimental, as it’s psychedelic edm (i believe), but i liked it a lot after a few listens. i was totally obsessed with the choreography as well, because the whole thing is just...art. they attracted me because their style of music was different than what i had seen before, and on top of being extremely talented and creative people, they were also super funny and caring.

another group that comes really close to being my favs is day6 (and i cannot even begin to describe my infatuation with this group). i listened to “shoot me” and “sweet chaos” and BAM that’s all it took to drag me into stanning this group. i’m not familiar with the inside jokes and all that, but i just love listening to their music! there is not a single bad song in their entire discography! i also have the largest heart eyes for young k’s “young one” project covers and eaJ’s original songs.

—

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

going to an ivy league or just any amazing school in general (lol is this really gonna happen tho 🤪)

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

gone out with my friends, probably (going for a boba run, going to the mall, etc.)

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

a tiny book called “be active” by charles m. schulz, filled with motivation quotes. i also bring around a book, in case i get bored.

favourite type of plushies and why?

the extra fluffy kind that i can hug or use as a pillow, but i like the bear plushies a lot too (from daiso/miniso).

favourite song right now?

darn i don’t have one 😳 but i like listening to “ribs” by lorde

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

how to make macarons, how to make/compose music, the korean language

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

i can’t think of something off the top of my head :( (i promise my life isn’t that boring but my brain isn’t conjuring up anything helpful)

headphones or speakers? why?

headphones when i want to listen to music by myself/with a friend, speakers when i want to share music openly

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

banh mi and 🍅 (even though i just had a bowl of them...sorry beomgyu)

+ also this coconut that i’m trying to open? but it’s not cooperating with me ��

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify, it’s unproblematic for the most part

ten questions (by eri, answered)

1. what’s the best trip/vacation you’ve ever had?

when i went on a tour of china (i went to a bunch of places, from the city to the mountains). it was fun exploring places i’ve never been to!

2. do you have any random fears/phobias? if yes, what are they?

spiders and bugs :(

3. weirdest food you’ve ever eaten?

either mangostine (i hated it, sorry soobin) or frog legs

4. do you have any hidden talents? what can you do?

uhhhhhhhhhhh i can memorize things quickly? i mean i don’t think it’s that big of a talent but i can remember trivial history facts really well

5. what is an activity you’d like to try out someday?

swimming underneath a waterfall or just living in the wilderness

6. when did you get your first phone and what type of phone was it?

a very long time ago when i was in 2nd grade, when i first got an ancient flip-phone...i pretty much never touched it because i never really needed to use it

7. what is a movie you never get tired of watching?

kimi no nawa! i’ve watched that movie 3 times already and it’s a great movie so i wouldn’t mind watching it again :)

8. biggest pet peeve?

dirt encrusted fingernails >:(

9. earliest childhood memory?

i’m not sure :( my memory is just a jumble of things from my childhood

10. as a child, what did you want to be? what about now?

i wanted to be anything and everything...one day i would be like “i’m going to be a doctor” and the next i would be like “nvm i want to be a magician” and as for now, i’m actually not sure because i’m interesting in many fields, including areas in both sciences and humanities.

—

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

—

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: blu

nickname: blu

birthday: sometime when the flowers bloom

zodiac: aries

nationality: american

languages: english, chinese, spanish, (a bit of) japanese

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: [redacted]

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: txt and other groups i stan! i also like to take inspiration from my life experiences, books i’ve read, songs, movies. shows, and so on.

meaning behind my url: there weren’t any canon urls for yeonjun so my brain somehow went hmm? yawnjunie? sounds good (i’ve been asked this before and honestly there isn’t much logic behind my url lol)

blog established: June 5th, 2020

followers: 153 (it’s a small-ish community but thank you all for the support!)

FAVORITES

favourite animals: dogs, cats, wolves, foxes (i just love animals in general)

favourite books: asoue, the miraculous journey of edward tulane, the joy luck club, the giver series (there are more but i can’t think of them)

favourite colour: blue (i love all the colors)

favourite fictional characters: alyssa and james (teotfw), the baudelaires (asoue), and other people i can’t think of atm

favourite flower: i don’t think i have a specific favorite flower, but i like orchids!

favourite scent: the scent of pu’er tea (or the scent of dried flowers)

favourite season: i don’t have one, but i’m leaning towards autumn

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 6-9

cats or dogs: dogs (i’m serious)

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea all the way

current time: 01:05

dream trip: south america, europe, japan

dream job: tbd :’) (but i want to be in a profession in which i’m helping people)

hobbies: eating, playing piano, being a tubbs™

hogwarts house: ravenclaw (i think)

last movie watched: can’t remember, but it was probably a film about a mermaid who tried to find true love on land but ended up dying

last song listened to: i’m in love with you by kina

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1-2

random fact(s): i love mint chocolate ice cream, i like my milk tea with a bunch of toppings (pudding, aloe vera, boba pearls, etc.)

—

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to

if i could ride a bike - chevy

pinocchio - eaJ

fly me to the moon - young k

holo - lee hi

lmm - hwasa

man in a movie - day6

laughing on the outside - bernadette carroll

remember (from natsume’s book of friends) - uru

sparkle - radwimps

i loved you - day6

[celandineitsaflowerdickward]

Get to know the writer artist tag. I was tagged by the lovely lovely @thesunandthestarss thanks Hay 😘

Name: helló you may call me Deedeh, nice to meet u

Star sign: Im a Virgo sun, Scorpio moon and Cancer rising, psa i have a LOT of watersign in my chart, im an emotional bitch - yes im very into astrology how could you tell?? (i know barely jack shit tho, had to text my friend cause i actually was unsure if i mixed my moon and rising)

Height: 165- ish?? idk i think thats 5′4 in feet

Hogwarts House: ... gryffindor - i think it was nearly a tie w ravenclaw - which is what i wanted *sigh*

Favorite animal: idk if i have a favorite, but bruh i love ferrets i want 2 at some point just cause i have some funny pun names, and cause theyre so adorable!!!

Average hours of sleep: 6 💀 - i try my fckn best to correct it but ya know - also like tumblr tho and fics 👀

Current time: 6:53 am, was filling this out last night but then i got tired cause ^ya know my sleep schedule is currently wack

Blankets I sleep with: i sleep with one comforter usually, (change between summer and winter comforter) sometimes i sleep with an extra blanket or two if im freezing, wait i did also sleep with just a sheet during this summer cause it was so hot

Cats or Dogs: cats. Ive grown up w cats, and just what lovely little sassy things they are, dogs are great dont get me wrong and i defintley want one at some point, just saw a video of a subway dog an teared up

Dream job: right now im feeling quite lost on that front, my internship just kinda sucks atm., but i wanna do freelance fashion, i would love to be able to just move around after jobs and live different places. Idk if im ever gonna be talented enough but working on wardrobe on tv shows, and movies - lol im even kind of nervous writing it here, but yeah thats a dream baby :)) also working on my art lately have made me dream of doing some comissions, not as a full time but a dream side job ;))

When I made my blog: ughh i a year or a year and a half ago? i think? - made it during last summer i think, i didnt really use it much tho, like i lurked around for a good bit, reblog some posts, but mainly without much comment. I posted my own post right after the 4x17, (to ask if i should watch it) lol a great place to start huh? 😂 after that i stared slowly using it more

Followers: 25, love my little bunch 😘

Why I made this tumblr: tumblr was kind of a thing id heard of a lot growing up, seemed so ‘mYstEriouSs’, ahhaha no but really id known of tumblr, and screen shots of funny tumblr post kept poping up on my pinterest, besides id heard of fanficton on tumblr, and so my interest reached a peak where i was like: “imma just go for it”

Reason for URL: Celandines are a special flower to me, they mean joys to come, and i wanted a *sPicY* tumblr name like id seen, so the “its a flower dickward” came from: i had changed my youtube name (no i dont have a channel lol) to Celandine and commented on a s3 sweetwater secrets video w Leanne Aguilera and she read it out loud and was like “idk if im saying that right sry” (she did ;) and thats where the its a flower dickward part came from 😊 My instagram idk, i just brainstormed some instagram names w Celandine and i thought Celandime was fun the _ was added cause the other was taken - My ao3 name was just another idea for my instagram handle that i just decided to use there. 

But also for all of my handles - i also just wanted something that wasnt tied to a specific fandom, cause i knew i wanted to fan over loads, and diffrent fandoms and also wouldnt have to change if i left one. 

Tagging: @stonerbughead  @literatiruinedme  idk if you have already done it but 💕

[fluffy-critter]

Last night I couldn’t fall to sleep until 4 AM due to how much my ears were ringing (plus the bedroom got really cold), and at 7 I woke up with very cold feet due to the thermostat in the bedroom automatically going to 62°F. I found some warm fuzzy blankets and doodled some music until I fell back to sleep and didn’t get up again until like… 11. And I was still heckin' tired.

It was also raining all day, so I didn’t end up going hiking at all. Instead I just worked on music for most of the day, and had a late lunch wherein I went to the grocery store and bought some bread and cheese, which was pretty good. When the rain cleared up a bit at around 4:30 PM I decided to walk around the neighborhood, but I quickly ran out of sidewalk. Oh well, at least I got 20 minutes of exercise-ish in.

For dinner I got some rather underwhelming sushi and a pile of constant misgendering. Now I’m back at the AirBnB and will just work on some more music.

Tomorrow I’m going to check out some more local restaurants; I have rough plans to go to a steakhouse for dinner, and probably a sandwich place for lunch, and hopefully get some actual hiking in during the hours between. I mean, that is why I came here, right?

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(via busybee)

[shesawriter39049]

CV SQUAD PT.1 (M)

Podcast host/Youtuber/Influencer BTS & OC

CV SQUAD TAKE: MIAMI,NEW YORK, LONDON, LA

CV SQUAD TAKE MIAMI- PART 1 OF 2

WARNINGS:(There’s both some M/F & M/M smuttyness in here so I’ll let you find out which warnings apply to who) Some hand fun,Hella dirty talk, cum play, spit play, light choking, public sex, light mirror kink ,a ton of teasing between all 8 “Characters” All the boy’s are Bi in this BTW . Tatted and Pierced BTS (Not all but most)

JIMIN/OC MAIN FOCUS OT7 SUBFOCUS (MXM/MXF) 

In this part Hoseok/Yoongi have a bigger roll in my opinion but again there all in it a ton 

There is a lot of dialog in this one but it’s needed…I’m introducing 8 people sooooo lol

9.7 K

AU SUMMARY : The “CV SQUAD” is made up of Jimin,YN, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Kookie a group of friends who run a podcast called “Candid Vibes” . That was created initially for a media arts project,in college which is actually how they all met! Now fast forward a good 4 years, a YT channel and millions of listeners later..and we have the CVSQUADTOUR.  A four city tour spanning over 16 days, with guest appearances from some of their good friends over at “TEAMJTH” AKA Jin, Taehyung,and Hoseok. Follow along to get the full candid behind the scenes access to everything that takes place over the next 2 weeks, including the moments there definitely going to edit out of the tour vlogs!!!  P.S the full backstory will be linked at the end!

***This is happening in real time, so in some scenes if there’s a [C] in front of the person dialog that means there talking into the camera. Or if it says [FILMING] that means there in shot but not talking directly to the camera***

****Wednesday July 4th, 5:45 AM,Valencia, CA -CV SQUAD HOUSE (Tour starts on the 5th in Miami) ***

“Ah fuck!!” A loud grumbled leaves Yoongi's chest as he sets the camera on the kitchen counter, ruffling his hands through his faded ice blue locks, readjusting his oversized cat eye glasses on his face before pushing the record button.

[C] “Aye, goodmorning guys, it’s ughhh fuck, 5:45 which is why the lighting probaly sucks in addition to the fact that I’m not Jungkook! Sooo as you guys know we all went out last night with the guys over at TEAMJTH, for a pre-tour dinner thing, which started at 7:30 but Y/N and Jimin didint get there till like 8 which, what the fuck else is new.” Letting out a slow exhale as his body just slouched along the back counter, taking a sip of coffee before continuing his thought.

[C] “ Well, Jin and I were the first to leave around, like 11:30 ish and I had the displeasure of spending the night here, because that’s the only way I’d ensure these asshats woke up on time. And  when I got up this morning my phone said the last time the alarm went off was a little after 3AM..and again it’s 5:45 and I’m about to go wake them up because come look at this shit!“  Turning the camera away from his face to let it lead the way down the hallway and into the PR room, or “Hell” as Yoongi called it .

There was a room on the first floor that was originally meant to be a “parlor” but obviously that's not anything the 4 of you would need or want! So it was turned into the PR closet, as you guys were always being sent items to review, or even paid to post about it. It only took one of you missing an ad that couldve made you an easy 3k to realize this shit needed to be kept out of your bedrooms until the job was done. So inteased you have a room filled with numerous clothing racks and boxes, separated by CV member!  But it was also where all of your luggage was sitting and it barely looked liked you guys were packed, or at least not 16 days worth!

Letting the camera pan the room as he let out an exasperated sigh, even in the dim lighting only fueled by the numerous neon signs along the walls it was still clear this room was a hot ass mess.

[C] “Can we all take a moment to appreciate the site in front of us, that is without a doubt bullshit!” Panning the camera over to the right, zooming in slightly, on all of your half-assed excuse for packing. “Yeah, so on that note, were gonna walk down the hall and wake up Jimin first, and then make our way upstairs to get everyone else.”

Making his way down a long dark hallway before making a right to head to Jimin’s room, until he hears an almost animalistic noise coming from the opposite direction. Heading to the laundry room instead only to find Jungkook, snoring,with his mouth open, on a bean bag chair..with a bag of chocolate covered lays to his right.

There was a very long pause, as the camera pans between Kookie and Yoongi, before his eyes flutter shut, holding the bridge of his nose between his index and thumb.

[C] “Ya know, sometimes...I just really don’t know what my life is….I really, really don't….” reaching down to shake Jungkook “Hey, hey,HEY! Kookie! Dude whyyyyyyy !? What are you doin on the floor in here of all places?” Pausing momentarily honestly hoping for an answer than even made a fragment of sense.  Instead he was greeted with a displeased grumble as kookie attempted to readjust on the oversized bean bag chair .

[C] “Nooo no, no up! Get up, go shower, and finish packing NOW! You got like an hour and 7 minutes. And then your taking this damn camera back because I hate this thing! ”

The tone alone has the younger abiding Yoongi’s orders, far too tired to argue anyway slowly rolling off the floor, grabbing his chips in the process. Managing to get chocolate all over the collar of the white “OFF white” Jacket he slept in. While Kookie slugged his way out of the laundry room, still whining like a bart in the process.

Quickly whipping out his phone to check Jungkooks IG, letting out a relieved sigh at his last 3 posts which all had well over 600k likes. But more importantly Jungkook posted the sponsored post, prior to ruining the jacket...and that’s all that mattered!

[C] “One down..two to go….”

What he actually meant was Yoongi didn't need to wake up was Namjoon, well aware that he was already up and well…..that’s because that's whose room he started and woke up in himself….

Finally heading back to his initial mission, Jimin, turning in the opposite direction, making a right, then walking down four very random stairs that lead to his bedroom . Two black framed french doors sat cracked, the room initially was a sunroom converted to a bedroom because Jimin wanted to be on the first floor and the guest room “wouldn’t even hold my shoes “. So this was the alternative...

Upon opening it he finds the both of you in bed together, but there's nothing even remotely sexual about this if anything it’s comical. Both fully dressed, like shoes and all, how you managed to sleep in that skin tight hot pink body con dress, that barely looked like you had room to breathe is besides me. The upper half of your body was almost hanging half off his california king while Jimin’s foot was damn near in a ballerina point. Evident even through his leather dress boots, neck stretched so far to the side it was almost on his night stand. One hand draped over your hip while the other hung off the bed.

[C] “Why am I not even remotely surprised at this point!?.” A combination of frustration and amusement laced within his voice as he slumped to the ground. Letting a low cackle rupture through his throat, as he still tried to keep his voice at a whisper. Only standing in the door frame at this point. “ I swear I don’t get paid enough for this…..” Walking over to turn on the lights, but unfortunately Jimin only had mood lighting so the dim aesthetic really did nothing to stir the two of you.

Flipping the angle so the camera was facing him again before speaking into it at a hushed tone [C]“Offf course this boy has strip club hoe lighting to go with his damn silk curtains because why wouldn't he! Alright guys’ Imma set this camera on the nightstand, because these two are damn near comatose, and I need two hands for this!  I’m not sure how much footage you will or won't get but I really need to get them up so blame Kookie for also being hungover if this parts shitty!”

At this point because of where the camera was sitting you could only see the bottom of the bed , but it was picking up the conversation taking place above it.

Yoongi reached over readjusting your body on the bed only causing you drape your arms around him in attempts to pull him in “No, no, no..Y/n get up..” Shaking your body until your eyes fluttered, making your roll over closer to Jimin, who welcomed you with no hesitation even in his sleep, always a cuddler even in the platonic sense.

“Alright fuck this..” Hopping on the bed between the two of you, shaking you both until your eyes fluttered open. Jimin’s even puffer than usual from lack of sleep, slipping into complete slits in his face. You weren't doing any better, suddenly your lash extensions felt like bricks hanging on your lids, as you struggled to keep your eyes ajar.  A loud screech comparable to banche left your throat as you stretched,managing to crack a few bones in the process… “Yo, it’s like 5 to 6...you two need to shower and finish packing,private or not we still gotta go through TSA, and you know how LAX is...we need to be outta here by 8! Let’s get movin!!” He was far from yelling but there was no room for debate within the leverage he held as he spoke.

Rolling over to your side, resting your hand on your temple, eyes zoning in on a very faint mark behind Yoongi’s ear making your smirk slightly. “Where did you sleep last night?” Brow quirked at the sudden implied question, the devilish grin on your face transferring to jimins as he ruffled his fingers through his long dark locks. Currently almost jet black, parted messily down the middle with a couple pieces falling in his face framing that lethal jawline of his! Kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning his white dress shirt, leaving his toned caramelized abdomen on display. Giving you a sneak peek at the roses that danced along his ribcage, as he readjusted next to you on the bed.

“Yeah Yoongi where did you sleep last night hmm? Needed a little stress reliever before tour even starts aye?” The playful yet taunting tenor in Jimin's voice eared an eye roll and middle finger from Yoongi.

“Fuck you both, I slept in the guest room thank you very much!” Snapping back with a snarl, while the two of you instantly exchanged glances, eyes meeting and rolling in the same direction simultaneously.

“Really!?” The word left both of your lips in unison, dry as all hell, as you tried to ease off the bed, your hangover knocking you right on your ass. Literally, plopping  back down next to jimin, causing him to smile over at you fondly, stroking the side of your jaw. The contrast of the metal from his rings soothing your skin, nuzzling your face slightly into his palm.

The tone in both of your voices screamed “BULLSHIT”! There were things that happened every once in a while that were kept on the DL, even within the squad ,typically never confirmed or denied, just forever the butt of every, inside joke.

“How the fuck would either of you know different? Your drunk ass couldn't even make it upstairs!” The words slipped from his lips so effortlessly it was like he was already prepared for the two of you to give him that reaction.

“Bitch” Bringing your hand down to meet his ass, as he rolled off the bed smaking it so hard your palm burned from the impact. Earning a low hiss to leave his throat, a noise that was secretly pleasing to both Jimin and yourself if were being honest.

“No, but  I’m serious, you two up! Up!” Shoeing his hands in your direction .

Jimin hopped off the bed first, throwing his shirt on the floor “For once, the little grimiln over there actually has a method to his madness, we need to get moving princess..” Abruptly grabbing you off the bed and throwing you over his shoulder before walking towards the door.

“Hey I heard that! You little shit!” Yoongi aimed a pillow at Jimin but considering he’s not even remotely athletic it landed on your ass instead! Earning a loud squeal from the sudden change of, well shit everything as now you're literally staring at the ground and his ass, in these skin tight leather pants.

The minute the two of you made it into the hallway and he walked up those 4 steps it was game over. All Yoongi could hear from inside Jimin’s bedroom was you literally screaming “Park, down,now put me down I’m literally going to throw up put me down!!”

Picking the camera off the nightstand as he plopped back down on Jimin’s bed , head jerking suddenly from the feeling of something rolling out of the pillowcase. Only to find it’s a bottle of lube, quickly looking at the brand before giving what appeared to be an approving nod, throwing it to the side before bringing the camera up to his face.

[C] “Well ladies and gentlemen..this is gonna be...interesting..to say the least..I’mma go make my rounds, make sure everyone is actually up. Make sure Y/N didn't puke in the damn hallway, I also need to check in with our boys over at TEAMJTH. I’m sure Jin’s the only coherent one, I know they were all over here at some point and I have no idea what time they left!” Pausing to pull his phone out of his pocket, letting his thumb hover over Jin’s contact.

[C] “ Maybe I’ll be somewhat nice and make a starbucks run….meh will see how I feel.But yeah, will check in once Kook’s sober so he can film because I’m sure this was a shit show! So on that note..I’m out! Peace!!”

~~~~~~

“How you wanna do this ?” Voice sitting barley above a whisper as he stroked your cheek, while you sat on the ground of the 1st floor guest bathroom. Hair all tousled to the right as your head rested on your arm, which was still braced along the toilet seat. A warm rag coming up to grace the back of your neck “You wanna shower here or go upstair-” cutting him off with a nod before he could even finish his thought. Needing to sit in the humidity before you even tried to walk upstairs. Nodding quickly before walking behind you to turn the shower up,  stepping out into the hallway to grab a towel.

“Someone slept in her makeup…” Tisking lowly as he placed the towel on the counter, before walking back out into the wall.

“Fuck, yeah I know thank god my skin is damn near bullet proof or else I’d be fucked, remind me to never drink on a stomach fuled by soley the dessert menu! “ Rolling your eyes in frustration at no one but yourself as you slowly got off the ground.Feeling slightly light headed in the process, pulling  your dress over your head. Only revealing a nude g-string, the dress was so tight you almost considered not wearing panties at all. As you stepped into the shower you heard the door open again, apparently he went to also grab you makeup wipes, only catching the tail end of your naked body as you disappeared behind the steamed glass.

Not even bothering to apologize because it wasn't the first time he’d seen you like that, sticking your head out the glass, extending your arms for the wipes, as you smiled over in his direction. “Thank you for taking care of my hungover ass…” Shooting him a lazy smile as you rested your head against the tile.

Returning the gesture with a slight bow of the head as he edged towards the door, “No need to thank me, I’mma go hop in the shower myself, I also sat some tylenol on the counter, but come find me if you need me okay?” The genuine care and concern in his voice forced you to give him a legit smile no matter how dead your body felt, Jimin was good people, you don’t meet a lot of them in this industry that’s for damn sure! Nodding in response, another thank you left your lips lightly before letting your body reunite with the steam.

“How’s she feelin?” Jimin heard Namjoon’s voice echo throughout the empty hallway , changing his direction from his bedroom over to the kitchen. Joon was standing behind the island shirtless, mixing together a protein drink, Jimin noticed the tripbod to his right that was holding his phone. Figuring he probably just filmed something, more than likely an instagram video. Shamelessly taking in Namajon’s honey dipped complexion, offset by his dark brows and ice blonde hair.

Joon went through phases were he choose to tone his body, always someone with a strong build so it didn't take much for him to build up muscle mass. In Jimin eyes he was the perfect combination of muscular yet soft all at the same time! A couple small tattoo’s dancing along his body, all quotes written in an old fashioned script. From various books, or artist that caught his attention, not one for random spur or the moment pieces they all held a lot of meaning!

A dimply smile pulled on Joon’s face as he observed the way the younger was damn near drooling “Thanks Chim, I’m glad your enjoying the progress I’m making at the gym” The smile quickly turned into a full blown smirk once he took in how red Jimin got, even though his tanned complexion.

Shaking his head lightly as he chuckled, slightly embarrassed, letting his eyes meet their freshly polished hardwood floors, before brining his gaze back to his elder. Raking his fingers through his hair before slowly letting them slide down his neck “What can I say, I appreciate the hard work that’s all...I know it’s not easy to stay committed!”Ending with a slight nod , that held equal amounts of sass and arrogance.

Strutting over to grab a seat in front of Namjoon “Are these any good, or are they just payin you well?”

A playful tenor rang through his voice as he recognized the very popular protein brand to his right. Finally putting two and two together, as far as his appearance and the tripod, he was clearly filming an AD for the company. Namjoon quirked his brow clearly not as amused as Jimin, while taking a sip, “Don”t try me, last I checked none of us were hungry enough to take a deal just because. We either actually like it or we don’t post about it..or did I miss something?”

Dropping his posture slightly, resting his chin on his knuckles as he locked his eyes with the younger Namjoon’s rebuttal had jimin throwing his hands up, waving his white flag immediately. “Touche, your right, your right! Lemme taste it..” He actually wasn’t asking more so demanding as he grabbed the cup, lacing his tongue around the straw before wrapping his lips around it.

Namjoon’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits at the sight, well aware of what this little shit was doing, making sure the diamond , from his piercing caught the end of the straw “Really? Is that what it is Park?”  Cocking his head to the side slightly, there was an air of amusement that danced along his face while Jimin faked innocence, earning an eye roll from namjoon while he stepped back relaxing against counter. Putting his full abdomen, V line and all on display, while his joggers sat dangerously low...I swear the two of them secretly got off on constantly tempting each other! Though in all honesty it was USUALLY always harmless and just playful, the four of you flirts by nature.

“So what time did you go to bed last night?” Jimin tried to play it cool but Namjon knew he was digging..trying to see if anything happened between him and Yoongi.

“Ugh, around 1, a little after Hoe-seok made an apperance….fuck, you two missed A LOT!”

“What? OH the lapdance!? Fuckkkk I know! That’s the last thing I remember looking at one my phone, just wait until drama channels get a hold of it, Next thing you know there engaged to be married! “ Jimin rolled his eyes annoyed at just the thought of how everything suddenly became an internet headline.Not that it’s ever stopped any of them from doing whatever they want, when they want!

There was suddenly a mischievous glint in Namjoon’s eyes before he shook his head “Nah, there was another lap dance, that hopefully isn't on anybody's snap chat…” .

Jimin’s brows furrowed in slight confusion, and annoyance at the way Namjoon was dragging this out “Just fuckin send it Joonie I don’t have all damn day!”

A snort left namjoon’s body as he dropped his head on the island before continuing “ Alright ,alright, so when  I got home, Kookie, Tae, Ryland, And morgan were chillin’ listening to The Weeknd doing jell-o shots. He was originally giving Morgan a lap dance,and like stripping and shit. Then I come in, we all know Hoseok can’t hold his liquor, I make a comment about his ass in those jeans he was wearing and the next thing I know he’s on my lap…and ugh, yeah...”

The hesitation as his jaw closed, let Jimin known there was more he wanted to say he just choose not too, now how much more is the question.

Jimin gazed back at him completely wide eyed, jaw damn near hanging to the floor, fuck what he would’ve given to be there for that!  “Careful you might catch something…” Joon teased as he took his phone off the tripod…”Fuck, it’s almsot 6:30 you need to get your ass in the shower before Yoongi cut’s your balls off , he just left, and he spent all morning bitching!”

“Ughhh, fine but were texting about this whole ..”dance” situation later because I got questions! Also when is Yoongi NOT bitching, you just love being his little helper huh? Such a good little boy for him aren't you Joonie!!” The taunting almost demeaning tone in Jimin’s voice had his blood boiling, brow quirked, jaw extremely tight. His lethal gaze was daring the younger to even think about saying another word!

Jimin was well aware if they did have sex theres no way in hell Namjoon was bottoming. So he was hoping if he struck a nerve Joon would correct him which would at least confirm if his suspicion of them hooking up in the past was right. But clearly Namjoon was a little too smart for that one…

“Nah, more like I just know how to keep my shit together so I don’t get bitched out, now how about you be a good little boy for your hyung and go take a shower yeah!?” Now it was Joon’s turn to taunt Jimin , his tone alone had jimin shifting in his seat, low, calm yet authoritative all at the same time. All of the boys were Korean-American, so there were obviously some cultural things that just weren’t done as often in america, and referring to your male elder as “Hyung” constantly was one of them. But considering Jimin can find a way to turn anything into a kink he already knew Jimin’s underwear we soaked on command!

Jimin exhaled deeply it was clear as day he was soooo damn annoyed “Sure, anything for you hyung…” Tone dry and snarky as all hell, adding a very condescending enfaces on the honorary as he hopped out the chair, making sure to sway in his skin tight leather pants as he exited the kitchen.

“That’s it, such a good boy for me Jiminie, such a good boy..” Namjoon coaxed with almost cynical smile, earning a very deserved dual middle finger from the younger as he fully exited the space.

~~~~~~

“Can you arch for me a little, a little more, a little..yesss just like that...just lean into it a little...perfect now stay like that for me…” If Yoongi didn't know any, he’d probably second guess himself before walking into this room. Actually he’s still second guessing himself, but to his pleasant surprise, it’s a photoshoot not an orgy! . As Jimin, Namjoon, and yourself, laid across your fluffy white couch in an obscene amount of Clavin Klein while Jungkook took pics for an IG post. With all the traveling you guys were about to be doing you just didn't trust yourself to get some of these AD’s up on time so you were trying to cram as much as you could! Forcing yourself to do your infamous “5 minute beat” but begging Kookie to edit the fuck outta these pic’s because you still felt like literal death!

Jimin, opting to go shirtless with the briefs peeked out from under the joggers, namjoon kept on a hoodie  leaving it completely unzipped, while you went for the short’s teasing a red and white thong above the waist band along with the matching bra. All of you going for variations of red, white, and blue due to the day at hand.

Rolling his eyes instantly at the sight in front of him “For your safety I really hope this means your all done packing and when the uber comes in 15 minues you’ll be ready to go!”  Setting down a tray of drinks and bagels, face hidden behind a pair of oversized designer shades. The low rasp in his voice let you know he was just exhausted as the rest of you, but you still had shit to do regardless!

“You reallllly have no faith in us!” You could literally hear the pout in Jimin’s voice without even looking.

“The outfits were sorted on racks, when our stylist and Sara were here yesterday we just ran out of time between that conference call and getting ready for dinner to pack it all. There really wasn't shit to do!” You perked up, with a shrug reaching up to grab the Lavender tea, typically a coffee person but you knew since you were sick this morning, and still felt a little off this one was for you! Reclining your  back into Namjoon’s chest slightly, while to stole your drink out of your hand, inviting himself to taste it.  Brining one hand over to soothe up and down your arm before having the nerve to pass your drink over to Jimin instead of returning it to you.

“Alright, and were sure?! Kookie, all your equipment, is packed, labeled, secured!?” Raising his glasses up to look the youngest in the eyes, that infamous chipmunk smile, meeting Yoongi’s glare.

“Yesss Yoongi, that stuff’s been backed, and double checked, it’s good, were good!!”

Stepping back slowly with a nod of approval, clearing his throat before speaking “Even though the four of you are going to be the cause of my premature aging, wrinkles and receding hairline...I just ugh, want you to know I’m honestly really proud of you guys!This was just some little bullshit project we did to pass trade school, in hopes of one day working in our field. And you guys managed to turn it into a career, we were just hoping to be able to do what we love without struggling now look  …” Pausing suddenly, you could hear his voice wavering, making you all equally teary eyed as this was NOT like Min Yoongi at all.

“For the record it’s the five of us, always has been, always will be, we wouldn’t have made it this far without you, hell we wouldn't have graduated without you honestly!” Jimin pipped in first, feeling the need to stroke his ego a little, even though he was speaking straight facts.

Yoongi was technically the eldest, and was wayyy better at managing the combination of partying and studying while living in LA! When you guys met originally 4 years ago , Yoongi was 21, Joon was turning 21, you were 20, Jimin was 19, and Kookie just turned 18. All at different walks in life, as you enrolled in this program for media arts just trying to turn your hopes into something feasible.

“Don’t ever forget that, Candid Vibes wouldn’t be what it is without you, and we love you too by the way, I think you were dancing around that phrase!” Smiling over fondly in Yoongi’s direction, as he tried to hide the smile moving up his face.

The three of you shared a quick glance before getting up to tackle Yoongi who gave a displeased grumped but you all knew he secretly loved it! Squeezing until his legs gave out and he was rolling around on the floor trying to break free.

“Alrigh, alright get the fuck off me!!!” Swatting in your direction. Face contorted in aggravation while the three of you cackled aimlessly honestly not even phased by him anymore. This was just the way he showed his love and you wouldn’t want it any other way!

“ While I go double check on the Ubers, quickly film your update for the CVSQUADTOUR IG account, and please just do another one over on your bags!”  There was a plea to his tone this time  as opposed to the normal hints of anger!

Jungkook mounted his phone on the tripod so you guys could film and the video could be uploaded directly after. Just a standard update, wishing them a happy and safe 4th of July,letting them know how excited you all were, and to keep following all of your socials for updates, and pop-up events blah blah blah!

2 UberXL pulled up, one solely for your luggage alone, the cars were also sponsored, the four of you used Uber on a weekly basis! The drive to the airport was damn near 40 minutes in traffic thank god you were flying private and the plane wasn't leaving until you got there. The 3 of you almost falling asleep the minute your bodies hit the seats, last night's festivities hitting all at once. While Yoongi made business calls making sure your house and other things were looked over while the four of you traveled. The only other girl on the team was Sara, who had the toughest job in your opinion, being your shared assistant. She left for Miami yesterday,since that’s where her girlfriend is for college, wanting a little personal time before you guys ran her ragged!

Amongst arriving at LAX a couple fans noticed you guys and of course you stopped taking pics outside and in the meantime the guys over at TEAMJTH pulled up!

[FILMING-THIS ENTIRE SECTION IS BEING FILMED CASUALLY PANNING BETWEEN ALL 10 MEMBERS WITH NO MAIN FOCUS]

Clearly they had a brand deal of their own, all of them in Tommy Hilfiger loungewear from head to toe, and they all looked damn good! Hoseok’s long burgundy locs messy pushed out of his face, while pitch black ray bans covered his eyes. His joggers were so damn tight you could damn near see the muscles flex as he walked. If you didn't know any better you’d think you were drooling, his toned arms fully exposed in his loose fitting white tank top, making his tan look even stronger.

“Jung fucking -Hoseok…” A low growl left Jimin’s throat he was standing right next to you as he said it, not even bothering to whisper, the two of you sharing a glance that read the same damn thing..this man  was fine as all hell!

While Taehyung trugged behind him, pulling a Jimin, as his hoodie sat slightly unzipped exposing his chiseled chest and the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt, a couple thin chains dancing along his collarbone. His dark locks falling in his face from under his hood, this man had on looser fitting sweats, they were gray and he had on, no TYPE of underwear..none in site. Everything just slinging around as you walked.

“Oh fuck off…” You heard Junkgook whisper out to himself from behind the camera in a low almost aggravated tone at the site of Taehyung and you couldn't even blame him!

Last you had Jin in all black, fitted joggers and a pretty tight black tank top, and for the first time you realized how broad Jins shoulders were, and how nice this man’s arms were. His freshly touched up lavender locks bounced in the wind, offsetting the all balck outfit.

“Fuck..” left Nmajoon’s lips almost as if he was winded, at the sight of TEAMJTH approaching...yeah this was gonna ugh, be a fun little trip!!

All of the boys were openly Bi,as were you, there was no preference for any of you, you just liked who you liked. But something you‘ve noticed over the years is the 7 of them were a lot picker when it comes to their male counterparts.  Yet they seemed to fit each others criteria effortlessly

Hug’s and hello’s were exchanged, but it was clear all of you needed a damn nap, the energy level was at a negative 2 right now!

Hoseok draped his arm around your shoulder as you guys made your way through the airport, keeping your body close to his as he made casual conversation. Voice sitting exceptionally husky due to lack of sleep but fuck if it didint sound good.

[JK IS STILL FILMING JUST NOT THE TWO OF THEM]

The two of you waited while the others went into the gift shop for snacks neither of you could be bothered to move. Leisurely laying his arm around your waist pulling you in to snuggle into his chest amongst hearing you yawn, repeatedly. As they say yawns are contagious, the moment his neck reclined, and that sinfully chiseled jawline went ajar, the light reflected on a piece of metal that you‘ve never seen before.

“Holy shit….” Glancing up at him, almost wanting to die as those words physically left your throat instead of staying in your head! Bringing his gaze down to meet yours, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Oh I ugh-I just noticed your tong-” A smirk moved up his face cutting you off mid sentence as he licked his lips before slowly letting the long wet muscle fall from his lips, letting you get a full view. But you couldn’t help notice the shape of it seemed a little..different.

“I got it done almost 3 weeks ago, we've just been video conferencing for all these meetings so you haven’t noticed. This one vibrates when you push it..that’s why it’s a little bigger…” His voice dropped to an octave that made your pussy do the tightest kegal imaginable. The look on his face proved that was kinda what he was aiming for, loving the way your body shuddered against his own.

Your throat felt uncomfortably dry as you gazed up at him, his eyes were locked on yours...dead set on making you fall apart in his arms and it wasn’t taking much. Clearly the universe decide to help you out, as the rest of the group slowly trampled out of the store.  Jungkook leading the way from behind the lense. An almost arrogant smile curled up his face as he pulled back from you, easing back into casual conversation with the rest of the group.

~~~

[C] “Were walking through the airport….well fuck clearly you can see that, but were heading twoards the termal and I’m reallyyyy exicted!!” A squeak ruptured through your throat as you smiled over in Jungkook's direction. Jimin and Hoseok walking by in unison, fosseying there way towards the terminal Jazz hands, goofy ass expressions and all!

[C] “Kookie make sure you edit in some really dope Casey Neistat , type music, and editing on this part like I wanna look badd assss, slow - mos and all!” Namjoon hopped into frame out of nowhere earning a snort from kookie.

[C] “All right, let's go give it to me...I'll run ahead, and all of you give me your most badass strut and I’ll slow mo and edit that shit to the gods!!!” Kookie did as he said. Running to the end of the termal, counting down from 5 giving you all the signal to walk, and to be honest it was looking great. Until jimin had to end it with a casual almost  “modest” if you will...slut drop upon reaching the end, and of course you couldn't be out done so you joined. Jimin just stayed in the position for a moment almost as if he were gracing the world with the view of his ass, before sticking out his tongue playfully at the camera to his right!

“Buss it down thotiana buss it downnnn” Hoseok cheered from the side at the site of the two of you, forever the hype man, encouraging you to live you best life. An obnoxiously loud cackle left both him and jin’s throat as they no doubt had that on their snap within seconds!

You can hear Jin and Hoseok in the background jokingly making comments about making it rain on both of you asses or something along those lines as you two strutted down the hall.

[C] I’ve never in my life seen Casey do anything like that…EVER” Yoongi’s tone came through the side stale as hell!!

“I mean, I support it, both the left and the right side of it…” Namjoon smirked back in Yoongi’s direction taking in the site of both asses swaying in front of him!

~~~

Jungkook, and Brendan TEAMJTH’s videographer lead the way into the plane first, and it was gorgeous, seating 14 comfortably had a mixture of chairs, couches, and a work space, one bedroom, and bath. In addition to an array of food, drinks and desserts, a special card sitting on the table next to an edible arrangement. Taking a couple pics to quickly upload to your IG account before getting settled .

There was someone from JETTLY waiting as you guys bored, showing you the amenities, introducing you to the pilot and such but there wasn’t a flight attendant present for the trip which was probably in their best interest!

“Strawberry or pineapple?” Taehyung brought his gaze over to Jungkook as he sat the camera on the table..shrugging nonchalantly, trying to hide the smile moving up his face.

“I don’t know surprise me..”

A smirk moving up Tae’s face at that “Close your eyes..” Dropping his voice slightly, as if it didn't already set at a sinful tenor naturally. Walking over to grab a piece of pineapple, biting into it partially to make sure it’s sweet. Flicking his index finger at the youngers bottom lip letting him know to open up, sliding the fruit into his mouth, while letting his finger lingers over his tongue.  Making the younger smile slightly taking the hint, and lapping his tongue gently, fluttering his eyes open with a meek smile.

“You said surprise you…” Taehyung countered letting his lips hover over Jungkook’s before pulling back smugly making his way back over to the edible arrangement. Leaving the younger more than flustered….

“Alright guys, it’s gonna be a minute before we take off, since you're all finally in one place I need you guys to do one more update about tomorrow’s popup shop. Oh and we were able to get some of your merch there as well!! guys” Jackson, TEAMJTH’S manager spoke up, technically Jin,Hoseok, and Tae were just coming for shits and giggles. The plan originally wasn't a shared tour that’s why there only doing two shows.

But since it’s typical for you guys to have an alternating guest host at least once a month  and your audience loves the threesum it just made sense. Of course since they were coming , pay was worked out, they will be compensated accordingly for the New York and LA shows as well as any of there merch that’s sold. Besides them being your friend’s the five of you just didn't do shady business!

The popup shop would be from 5-10 on the 5th, selling merch and a limited supply of brand collabs the 8 of you have done over the years!

~~~~~~

It was a little after 10 once the jet actually took off, the video was uploaded and your lives got to go on airplane mode! All of you forever grateful for the extremely dim lighting and the fact there were blinds draping the windows. The flight to Miami was about 5 hours and with the time difference by the time you landed it would be rolling on 8pm, you all had a 9:30 dinner meeting with your sponsors so sleeping was crucial.

All of you bundled up in different areas of the plane, the hum of music buzzed through the speakers, while your head laid alone on the couch kiddie-corner at the very back of the room. To be honest it seemed like you were the only one up, the light from your phone catching Jimin’s attention as he invited himself to snuggle up behind you. Sliding your phone out of your hand , placing it on the floor “You need to get some sleep…” the whisper hummed though your ear, as his hand found its home draping over your hip you knew he was right. Eyes burning like hell yet you couldn’t fall asleep…

Head covered under an oversized Calvin Klein hoodie, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, while his palm massaged your hip. A slow exhale left your body as you relaxed into his touch, “Fuck, I know..I just hate sleeping on flights!” A humm left his lips at that and you swore you could feel him smirking into your skin, as his hand slipped under the blanket, past the band of your shorts, toying with the hem of your calvins...A low chuckle left your throat, already well aware of were this was going, you kinda expected it just not this soon.

It’s been 4 months since anything sexually has happened between the two of you, and for some reason it only happens when your traveling. Maybe there’s just something in the air , it was in the bathroom at a brand event, in Bora Bora you found yourself on your knees in Moschino and he found himself shamelessly on his in Gucci. It was a great night, needless to say, the two of you ended up buying the outfits afterwards because there was no way in hell they could be returned!

“I’m surprised your over here with me actually…” Your words coming out slightly muffled as you tried to be respectful of the current atmosphere around you.

“And why’s that..” Bringing his hand down to soothe under your ass, while his lips left faint airy kisses down the side of your neck. Teeth grazing the thin chain around your neck, toying it between his teeth.

“Well, with the way you've been eyeing Hoseok the past two days I figured you’d jump on the opportunity to cuddle up under him...”. Turning your head slightly with a playful smirk waiting for him to bring his lips up to meet yours.

“Coming from the woman who almost creamed her panties when she realized he had his tongue pierced today?” Even though he phrased it as a question his tone came off very “matter of factly” leaving no room for debate. Tugging your bottom lip between his teeth, before lapping over it with his tongue,letting the tiny diamond ball of his own dance along your flesh.  “How didn't you notice that last night?” Sucking your lip between his teeth, not even really expecting a response as he dug his nails into your ass, rolling his hips into you until your knead out slightly. Eyes fluttering shut, as you arched back into his touch, grinds your ass into him until you ripped a stifled moan from his throat!

 Sinking his teeth into the side of your neck in response until you dug your nails in his thigh “We have a meeting behave….”  A deep sigh left his lips but he abided anyway, using his tongue to assault your neck instead.

“I saw the way you were looking at him all night,I don't blame you, I was starting just as hard as you were baby.”  Bringing his hand up to grab your neck, applying  just the right amount of pressure, as his lips teased up your ear. Tugging your hoops between his teeth before sucking a nice little reminder right beneath your ear.

Sliding his hands past your panties to swipe of your clit, a low moan leaving both of your lips “Fuck, Hobi really did get your little pussy wet didint he? Can you imagine how good it would feel to have both of us smothered between your thighs? Telling you how sweet you taste and how good you look while you come.” His lips were literally buried into your ear as he spoke, trying to keep is voice as low as possible, the feeling of his breathe teasing your skin alone had your body shuddering. “God your always so sweet too, you know Hoseok has his cock pierced in 2 places right?”

That alone ripped another moan from your throat as he eased to two fingers in until the rings on his fingers were submerged with you heat. Walls flexing on command as he molded himself around you, curling his fingers upwards to tease at the roof of your pussy. Biting down on your lip so hard you thought you’d draw blood. Thrusting his fingers in and out at an agonizing pace, the girth between the two of them had you arching within seconds , sliding a third finger in and your walls welcomed the stretch effortlessly, as you coated him in your juices. “God your so fuckin’ tight, I bet I got you thinkin about him bending you over -”

“While I have your dick in my mouth? yeah that’s exactly what I’m thinking about. Me wrapping my lips around you until you come down my throat.” The words hissed from your throat as your heat pulsed around him you could almost hear your juices slushing around as he pumped his fingers in and out. “You always look so good when your begging, you turn into such a little slut it’s so sexy.” Now it’s your turn to tease, grabbing his face in your hands pulling his lips down to meet yours. Sliding your tongue into his mouth when you hear him let out an involuntary cry as you start grinding your hips back even harder. Allowing his tongue to map every area in your mouth, the cool sensation from the diamond ball in contrast to the warmth of his tongue has your biting back moans every second. Both of you kissing each other with the same amount of fever , tongues melding against each other, as he exchanged your hole for your clit. Placing the pad of his  fingers  against it before adding steady pressure, as he moved in swift circles.

“Or how about you fucking me, while Hoseok works you open with his fingers, god his hands are so sexy.Until your just begging for him to fuck you, you know how much you love to beg.” A low whine left his throat as he pulled back to lay his tongue flat against your neck, licking a long slow stride before sucking down lightly beneath your chin. Just enough to make you want more, even though you knew he couldn’t...

“Jiminnnn...” You whined slightly reclining your neck even more humming out against your skin in response, lips vibrating against your pulse as if he was actually curious as to why you were calling his name.

“god yes, making you fall apart up under him while you make me cum for you...making a mess all over you cock before he fucks you open with his.” Bringing his lips back over to yours with a slight growl, panting out against his tongue, not allowing yourself to pull away because your afraid of how loud you’ll become, needing his lips and tongue to muffle your cries, as you feel the heat growing in your stomach.

Sliding his oppiste had into your panites, gliding three fingers in knuckle deep, just keeping them stationary, only adding to the immense pressure building in your stomach.

“Your soo good, your fingers are soo good..” Moaning out against his tongue, as low as possible before sucking it into your mouth, his fingers always filled you perfectly, it never took much for him to get you off. Hoping the fact that his hoodie was draping over both of your faces muted out some of the noise.

The neediness dripping from his tongue aren't helping either as you grind your hips into his hand, helping chase your own orgasm. “Fuck I forget much of a promblem this mouth of yours is, your gonna fuck around and make me come from that alone, god your so fuckin sexy…” You could feel him start to build up momentum his fingers started working even faster, needing to feel you come just as bad as you “Your dripping down my hand right now, fuck I just wanna taste you, make you come all over my face.”

Burying your face in the crook of his neck, sinking your teeth into the base merissily, edging you towards your release. “That’s it, fuck yourself on my fingers baby, I can feel how tight your clit is, come for me, come nice and hard for me….” Panting out gainst his your hair as your muscles started to seeze biting down on his neck disgustly hard as you came…… body shuddaring in his embrase as he contiuned working your clit, easing you through your orgasm “Fuck yes, just like that...keep comming for me baby” No matter how sensetive you were you still kept rocking abck agaisnt him, his dick impposibly hard in his pants until you heard a low growl leave his chest. You knew Jimin well enough to know there was a 99% chance he just came….

A low chuckle left your throat at that ...reaching down in his pants as he swirled his fingers in yours. It was like the two of you worked off of one brain cell, brinings your fingers up to each others mouths, lapping your tongues around the digits effortlessly before bringing your lips together. Moaning out simultaneously the two of you tasted each other, the kiss was slow and lazy, letting his tongue have it’s way you as you were spent at this point. Eyes so heavy you almost couldn't open them once he pulled away “Get some sleep…” the words brushed against your lips with a lazy smile before kissing the tip of your nose. The scent of you rolling off his tongue as he spoke. “My entire bodies pliant right now...I don't have a choice, I’m not moving and neither are you!”

Placing one more kiss along your lips before readjusting the two of you under the blankets, before well needed sleep effortlessly washed over your bodies.

~~~~~

The feeling of someone’s hand roaming through your hair is what had your eyes breaking apart. It wasn’t Jimin though you knew what he felt like. These hands were longer, but equally delicate, eyes flutter up to see it was Taehyung. With a camera. Dead in your face.

[C] “Were hereeeee..” The words left his lips sing song like, back to his normal playful self, clearly sleep did him well. Soothing his palm over you back as you grumbled in dismay burying your face back in the blanket...until you remember the discomfort sitting in your panties from earlier, and you instantly felt the desire to hop up and run to the bathroom!

Stepping into the bathroom too quickly wipe down with a towel swamping out your underwear, putting a soiled ones in a bag and sliding them in your cosmetic bag. Upon walking out of course Hoseok would be the one waiting to use the bathroom.

Resting against the wall, shirt long gone, as his hands sat casually in his pockets, the look on his face just felt like he knew something. Or maybe you just felt awkward because you and Jimin got off to the idea of having a threesom with the man in front of you!

“Did you sleep well?”

“I ugh, yeah, yeah I did ..you?” Hoping to god your voice didn't come out as shaky as it felt.

Another all knowing smirk moved up his face, with a slight shrug “Meh, I mean...it couldve been better….” Easing his back off the wall to talk past you, body dusting against yours slightly as he entered the bathroom.  Allowing you to get a full view of beautifully done back piece, Hosoek had one tattoo, and the thing was HUGE...taking up a good 70 percent of his extremely muscular back. It was an extremely detailed leopard, with a tone of tropical themed flowers around it. He got it done in Thailand..about 2 years ago over the span of 3 day!

The minute you returned to the main area Jimin’s eyes met yours exchanging the same look before randomly bursting out into a fit of laughter causing everyone else to glare in your direction. THIS is why the two of you were able to have sex every once on and while, because once it was over..it was over, the two of you were able to just revert back as if nothing ever happened! Walking over to investigate your damage,  yanking his hoodie to the side, thankfully the brutal mark was low enough on his shoulder that any shirt with sleeves would cover it! But fuck if it wasn;t the deepest shade of purple imagiabele, a hiss left your lips at the site of it.

“Don’t worry about it, you know how much I get off on pain..” The words were barely audible as whispered out into your hair. Pulling back from you with a smirk, walking over to pack his blankets and such back in his luggage.

~~~

Once the plane officially settled and the 10 of you made your way to the airbnb it was pushing 8:30, and luckily the sponsors had a feeling this would happen and pushed dinner back to 10. But that still didn't leave MUCH time for getting ready.

Upon pulling up you all recognized the house, it was the “Santorini” very popular amongst influencers as it had 5 bedoroms 4 baths, nine bed all together, a hot tub, pool the full nine. Unfortunately you lot were far too rushed to explore or even pick out rooms, recognizing the car that was waiting outside thankful it was the hair and makeup duo you reached out to weeks ago through IG to do your glam while in Miami.

The house was a mess within seconds, all of you running around throwing clothes everywhere trying to find what you needed, the ten of you had never gotten ready so fast in your lives.

Jungkook and Brenden were ready first, within 20 minutes tops, the least high maintenance of the group, whipping out there cameras as they watched all the casos unfold. Even Though 80% would have to be cut as there were a lot of naked and or half naked bodies running through this house!

It was only a matter of time before Jackson and Yoongi were screaming that the car was outside and you all needed to leave ..NOW!

[FILMING]

“Fuck where are my shoes!?

“Who has hairspray, that won’t make my hair look flakey on my hair!?”

“Kim-Tae-fucking-hyung are you wearing my Saint Laurent boots!?”

“NO! My feet are bigger than yours ya dick!”

Everything and everyone was a damn mess, yelling from all ends of the house, no one really sure who the other was actually speaking too!

“Ahhh shit I gotta go I gotta gooo..” You found yourself running away from your glam team as they chased behind you with hairspray and fix plus,trying to spray you down in the process “Someone zip this pleaseee…” The first person you ran by was Namjoon, his silk paisley shirt sitting slightly unbuttoned giving you a sneak peek at his toned chest while reaching behind to zip up your dress.

[FILMING] ‘Shit I don't know if I like thissss..” You knew that whine anywhere it was Jimin giving himself a one over in the mirror.

[FILMING] “Your ass looks delectable Jiminie we gotta gooooo!!!” The praise came from Namjoon making the younger blush slightly as he licked his cherry stained lips, not hesitating to look at his ass in the frame one more time before abiding. Confidence instantly back on a hundred as he smirked, swaying away from the mirror while running his fingers through his hair.

~~~~

The 10 of you pilled into 3 luxury Ubers arriving to the “Lobster Bar Sea Grille” About 10 minutes late but hey, you tried, Jimin and yourself strutted together, the last two to hop out of the car. Hoseok came over casually draping his hand over Jimin’s shoulder. “I like these pants on you Jimine…” tone calm as ever as his hand gently brushed up Jimin’s thigh, making the older chuckle upon feeling his muscles tense under his hold.

Turning his head upwards slightly to meet Hoseok’s gaze, letting his tongue play at the corner of his mouth “Yea, I can say the same about you,they make your thighs look really good” Jimin’s voice dropped a little, adding that slightly whiny twang that never failed to get him his way! Eye’s shamelessly  trailing up Hoseok’s body

A humm leaving Hosoek’s lips in response as his hand coily trailed down Jimin’s back, the slight whimper that left Jimin’s throat the lower he got didn't go unnoticed. Once Hoseok's hand reached his ass he didn't hesitate to squeeze it firmly in his palm until the younger knead out slightly.  Pulling back with a smirk “Let’s ugh..go knock this meeting out so yeah?” Lips hovering over Jimin’s ear as he whispered into his skin. A low rumble ruptured through his chest at the way the younger was just putty in his hands. Typically Jimin had this effect on everyone else, he’s not used to being knocked on his ass, Hoseok’s a completely different type of creature that’s for damn sure. This time giving his ass a couple playful smacks before jogging over to Jin and Taehyung as the walked through the restaurant's doors.

“What. The. Fuck. Was. That.” Glancing over at Jimin with a smile, honestly you were kinda rooting for this, lord knowns he’s wanted to fuck Hoseok since they met.

“I have no idea, but if that mans dick isn't in my mouth by the end of the night..I’mma lose my shitt!!”

Upon walking in and exchanging hugs there appeared to only be seating left on either side of Hoseok..Jimin and yourself couldn't help but laugh as you took your seats, something tells me this was not a quisedence.

While Tae was next to jungkook Yoongi was sandwiched between Jin and Namjoon, and Jackson, and brenden were sitting in between the two Mike, and Jordan. They were behind the company sponsoring the actual aesthetic of the tour. Meaning they were the ones transforming these venues into the atmosphere all of your fans were walking into. Everything from lighting,seating, the podcast “set” the full nine. Each city was set to have it’s on vibe so none of the ‘set’s would look the same!

The night went well, not that you were surprised, you all knew time and place, and sitting in front of two men who were putting a shit ton of money into your tour was a place to act like professionals. But then midnight rolled around, and that’s when everyone started to get a little laxed Jimin and yourself were one in the same. The familiar smirk that tugged on his pouty lips as he sat in deep conversation with Hoseok told you to look under the table.

Only to find his fingers gently teasing over Hoseok’s cock through his pants, trickling up and down his zipper. Casually bringing his hand down to soothe up his inner thigh, fingers getting dangerously close to his length. Admiring the way Jimin kept gazing at him, the glint in his eyes were the perfect combination of innocent and sin all at the same time. You couldn't even help the smirk that tugged on your cheeks, feeling somewhat proud of you friend for finally going after what he’s wanted.

The sponsors left and graciously covering the bill, while the rest of you shifted outside towards the bar which set right off the water. But you couldn't help but notice Jimin get up to go to the bathroom, only for Hosoek to follow seconds later.

~~~~~~~

Walking in to find the younger pressed against the counter raking his fingers through his hair, not forgetting to arch slightly with a cheeky grin once his eyes zooned in on Hoseok.

Tsking lowly as he shook his head, one hand in his pocket as he strolled over causally “Such a little cock tease huh?” Smacking his ass so hard, even Hoseok moaned out at the sting, pulling a sharp gasp from Jimin’s body.  Making him fall forward chuckling lightly as he braced his weight on his elbows, grinding back into Hoseok. Turning his head slightly as his tongue flicked the roof of his mouth, locking his eyes with the elder as he felt him, digg his thumbs into his hips before grinding his clothed cock into Jimin ass.

Making Jimin moan out shamelessly sucking his plum bottom lip into his mouth as he zoned in on his own reflection.

“Ohhh, you like watching yourself get fucked? You like seeing how pretty you look while your bent over like a little slut getting fucked into the counter?” Rolling his hips a little deeper with a growl, bringing his hand up to take a firm hold on Jimin’s sinfully thick neck.

Brining Jimin’s body flesh to his, Hoseok’s blunt teeth sunk deep into a pulse point, making the younger strangle out a high breathy moan that bounced off every surface of marble in this bathroom.

“Fuck”. Hosek bit his lip, snaking his tongue down the side of Jimin’s neck to ease the sting, his body shuddering at the feeling of the metal brushing against his skin. “You sound so fuckin good and I haven’t even touched you yet…I wonder what you’ll sound like if IIII…..”

Finally bringing his hand down to cup Jimin’s throbbing cock as he rolled his hips into him electing another needy whine from his throat bringing something almost primal out of Hoseok’s body! “Jiminnnn, baby fuck...” The tone in his voice reflected as if he was in pain, which he was, his dick was ready to fucking explode.

The pet name and sudden hint of neediness in Hoseok’s voice had Jimin turning into complete mush in his hold.

Taking Jimin’s hand in his own, pulling back just enough to let Jimin squeeze his cock in his hands through the almost painfully tight fabric, making it twitch a couple times, and he swore Jimin’s knees went limp.

“You want it…” Phrasing the question more as a statement , as he turned Jimin’s head waving his tongue into his mouth, making the younger respond instantly swirling it around the muscle. Hoseok’s hand made its way back to the front of Jimin’s body , soothing it down his chest,before palming his length again. “Soo sexy…” slurred out against Jimin’s mouth, as he sucked his plum bottom lip between his teeth.

Jimin was the one to break away from the kiss “I’m over having your tongue in my mouth , I need your cock” Tone exceptionally bratty, nipping at the elders chiseled jawline,rolling his hips back even deeper “You want me on my knees here or at home?”

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE FOR NOW! LOL

(Since this is the first chapter I kinda forgot that this one would be the longest for obvious reasons! So I decided I didn't wanna make this like 16 k...cut it off at 9.5 and if this is received well, Miami will be done in 2 parts. So if you enjoyed this and want more...show some love and hit up my ask.

BACKSTORY

[purplesurveys]

792

Who was the last person you had an intelligent debate with?: I don’t really have debates with anyone other than Gab or Angela. I’ll have deep discussions with my other friends, but they never turn into a debate.

Who was the last person who cooked something for you?:  My dad. Technically he just reheated stuff tonight, but he was still also the one who cooked for us this morning for breakfast.

Who was the last person who you heard singing?:  My mom. She does karaoke by herself one or two times a week for funsies and will sing songs from her day for an hour or so, and she did it tonight.

Who was the last person you kissed and it meant something?: Gabie, but it’s been a whilllllle. 

Who was the last person you were upset with?:  This girl that I’m classmates with for a layout class, Mikee. Horrible work ethic. So just for context, I currently have a grade of INC (Incomplete) for the layout class I took last semester because my prof wasn’t satisfied with our final output, which are a class magazine and a class newspaper; and when you have an INC, you typically have a year to fulfill the missing requirement/s (except in our case, we only have half a year because we have graduating students in the class, including me). Now that we’re inching closer to graduation and the college is supposed to release the official list of graduating students soon, I have to make sure ALL my grades are in. Mikee volunteered to be the one to contact our prof for submitting our work, and even though we’ve finished up and polished our revised outputs, she is taking FOREVER to email the prof for whatever fucking reason. I’m getting antsy by the hour and am desperate for a bit of urgency on her end because if my name doesn’t end up on the list of graduates I definitely wouldn’t hesitate to lash out on her.

Who was the last person you danced with?: Angela, Gabie, and Hans. And some other ADMU dudes I’ve never hung out with other than at that party.

Who was the last person you felt awkward around?: My dad. He made pancakes from scratch earlier and I think his measurements weren’t 100% spot on, because they came out incredibly dense and bland. I was already cranky enough this morning – and I still hadn’t known he made them himself – so I scowled when I took my first few bites because I thought it tasted off and even asked if it was some kind of vegetarian pancake. Once he said he made it from scratch, I felt awkward, shut up, and wolfed my plate down to show him that I enjoyed it and to make up for my horrid behavior just seconds before.

Who was the last person who borrowed something from you?: My mom borrowed my car (which is technically my parents’ anyway because they bought it lmao) to go to work today.

Who was the last person who showed you how to do something?: My dad. I wanted to get reacquainted with making stuff in the kitchen so he showed me how to cook hotdogs properly. I was already making them before, but after one time that one of our stove burners emitted a huge flame when I turned it on, I stopped making any food altogether for a while.

Who was the last person you went shopping with?: My mom.

Who was the last person you had a crush on?: Song Joong Ki hahaaaaaaah.

Who was the last person who made you cry?: The amazing actor from Descendants of the Sun playing the troubled rookie doctor. I looked him up and apparently he’s also one of the lead vocalists of SHINee, so he must be talented as all hell.

Who was the last person you shared a bed with?: Kimi, 45 seconds before he jumped off.

Who was the last person you got drunk with?: Angela, Hans, Gabie, Aids...I don’t remember the others anymore but they were cool and funny people. Idk, we were a big group so yeah.

Who was the last person who touched your hair?: Just me.

What was the last pair of shoes you wore?: A pair of Nikes to walk my dog.

What was the last birthday party you attended?: My cousin’s, aunt’s, and grandma’s. Their birthdays all fall on the same week in December, so it’s tradition for us to go over to my aunt’s to celebrate.

What was the last thing you said to your mother?: Something about thesis. I was telling her that I included her and dad and my four grandparents in my acknowledgments.

What was the last song you listened to?: I was listening to Beyoncé’s Homecoming a few hours ago but I’m too lazy to check what song was it I paused.

What was the last thing you thought about before going to sleep last night?: I wasn’t thinking of anything, I was just focused on falling asleep.

What was the last fun thing you did with your family?: Video-calling other relatives.

What was the last thing you borrowed from someone?: My dad’s earphones...and I’ve kept them for the meantime too lol thanks dad.

What was the last vegetable you ate?: String beans.

What was the last thing you bought online?: A Hydro Flask and several necklaces.

What was the last thing you had to drink?: I don’t *have* to drink it but I did make myself a cup of coffee tonight.

What was the last reason you went to see a doctor?: Had to get my eye checked. Sucks that I couldn’t and can’t have a follow-up appointment especially since my left eye still acts up from time to time.

What was the last non-food item you purchased?: Soju lmaaaaaooo.

What was the last type of yogurt you ate?: I hate yogurt.

What was the last fast food place you ate at?: Jollibee. We didn’t eat inside though, we just got the food delivered to our home. I think the last fast food place I was actually inside of was McDonald’s.

What was the last thing that bothered you and kept you awake?: I haven’t been bothered by anything in a while. Caffeine is the only thing keeping me up these days.

When was the last time you embarrassed yourself? I had sort of a Eureka moment earlier tonight when I suddenly recalled my paternal grandparents’ whole names. I had opted to use their nicknames in my acknowledgments and didn’t think anything of it, but then I remembered what their actual full first names were and then felt embarrassed within myself that I submitted a final draft with their nicknames. HAHAHA it’s a good things are less chill with the lockdown in place so I was able to explain and resubmit with the necessary revisions.

When was the last time you watched a movie with someone?: January-ish. I watched Hello Love Goodbye with Gabie.

When was the last time you charged your phone?: A few hours ago.

When was the last time you were sick with a cold?: It’s been...a while. I rarely get sick with anything so I don’t get to keep track of whenever I do.

When was the last time you spoke to a family member on the phone?: My birthday when my lola called.

When was the last time it rained where you live?: A couple of days ago, I think.

When was the last time you laid awake, unable to sleep?: This afternoon. I wanted to sleep the heat off, but it was just so uncomfortable I just ended up twisting and turning and sweating more. MAAAAAAN I can’t wait for June.

When was the last time you met someone new?: A week or so ago when I went on a following spree on this blog and started talking to a couple of them. Lol following spree in the survey community means following 3 or 4 blogs, but still.

When was the last time you filled up your car with petrol/gas?:  Gotta be the first week of March as that was the last time I was able to drive a lot.

When was the last time you ate popcorn?: Some months ago, I’m guessing? There was a brief time that my mom bought popcorn kernels to make bowls of popcorn for us, but we got tired of it pretty easily so there was no reason for her to keep buying more packs.

When was the last time you went to a school event?  I went to the Lantern Parade last December, as is tradition for my school’s community. I was mostly alone because my friends had to leave early and Gabie was stuck in traffic all evening and didn’t arrive til like, 9:30 PM, which sounds sad for me lol but it was still a fun experience.

When was the last time you took the trash out?: My parents don’t give me that task.

When was the last time you did anything to change your appearance?: Fucking March, a week before the lockdown. Okodlkjfffjsj don’t remind me I’m still pressed about it. No one got to see my short hair and bangs grrrrrrrr

When was the last time you cooked at home?: A week ago. I reconciled with the kitchen and cooked a couple of hotdogs hahaha. They’re frozen and literally a child could make them, but egh, I wanna have my moment too.

When was the last time you had a sleepover?: Honestly can’t remember. Start of the year maybe?

Where did you last go shopping for clothing?: Feliz. It’s my favorite place to find new clothes so yeah, you’ll always be hearing about Feliz. Where did you last go on a date to?: A study date at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and dinner at Yabu afterwards.

Where was the last wedding you went to?: 2007, my uncle and aunt’s. I had plans to go to my cousin Joelle’s wedding in Texas this year, but I think they postponed it which highkey ended up working well for them because it wouldn’t have happened under current circumstances anyway.

Where did you last park your car, other than home?: Gabie’s place.

Where did you last leave your keys?: On top of the dining room TV.

Where did your last kiss take place? By Gabie’s front door, I think.

Where did you last go for a walk to?: In front of the house and just a little farther, with my dog. He’s getting older so he gets tired easily and can’t go on the same walks we used to have, but I still make sure he gets his exercise.

Where did you last take a vacation to?: We had a weekend trip to Tagaytay and Cavite but honestly it felt like a quick getaway more than anything else. The last trip that felt like a vacation was when we went to Bicol.

Where did you last go to celebrate your own birthday?: I celebrated it at home.

Where was the last place you had dinner at?: Just at home, again.

Where did you last go to exercise?: I don’t exercise. < Ha, samesies.

Where did you last take public transport to?: Jum and I were going to the Senate building for a journalism class. That was the first and last time I took legit public transport.

Where does the last person you hung out with live?: Upper part of the city.

Where did you last visit for the first time?: Uhhhh I think it was the salon I went to to get my hair done.

Where did you last take a photo?: On the floor of the dining area, to take selfies with my dog.

[shawnstoriesx]

Old Times Pt 1

heylo! sorry for being so inactive i was a busy girl and i rlly just couldn’t figure out how to continue the fics i started so i just made a whole new one XD anywayz i will get back to those until then ! feedback would be greatly appreciated! thanks for sticking around i love youuuuuuuu 

YN climbed out her bedroom window and onto the roof of her house, letting out a small groan when she heard loud yelling downstairs. So much for a peaceful evening. 

With a pizza box clutched in one hand and a light blanket in the other, she rushed her way to the front of her house. At first glance, the trek from YN’s bedroom window would seem tricky but she’d grown used to it. Every Thursday night for the past 4 years, YN’s roof had been the designated hang out spot for her and her neighbor. YN could probably do this blindfolded. She quickly set down the blanket and pizza box before lying down on the blanket too, staring up at the setting sky. It was the day before her high school graduation and YN’s body was pounding with emotions. Her nerves were on edge. She couldn’t wait to graduate and was excited for the next chapter of her life but was also anxious about starting college and leaving all her friends behind. Or rather her friends were all leaving her. They’d all chosen out of state schools that were hundreds of miles away while YN had opted for a school that was just a 30 minute drive. At least she still had Shawn. Shawn was her neighbor and she’d been his first new friend when he moved here the summer before their freshmen year. They’d been good friends ever since and although they didn’t hang out at school, being part of different crowds, Shawn and YN talked almost every day, whether it be in person, through text, or by writing on paper and pressing it up to their bedroom windows which were directly across from each other. Shawn had opted to dorm to get the “whole college experience” so YN was comforted by the fact that he’d always be on campus. Perhaps they could even hang out together once school started. Speaking of which, YN checked her phone to see the time. 7:15 PM. Shawn was only 15 minutes late to their standing hangout so YN didn’t think much of it. This was their last hangout as high schoolers and probably their last in a while since they’d be away all summer. YN and her family were going on vacation the first half of summer and Shawn was going on a road trip with his friends for the last half so this was kind of an important one to YN and probably to Shawn too. He was probably just caught up at work and running a little late. YN went back to looking up at the sky and perusing her thoughts. Another 15 minutes passed and it was starting to get chilly. YN walked back to her bedroom window to quickly grab a jacket. Texting Shawn probably would be a good idea too. Walking back to her spot on the front of the roof, YN unlocked her phone and started to type a message when she heard noise coming from her neighbor’s front yard. Shawn’s front yard specifically. He’s here! YN steadily made her way to the front of her house but stopped midway upon hearing multiple voices from Shawn’s yard. “Thanks for the ride man. I’ve been meaning to get my bike fixed.” Shawn yelled out and then YN heard a car door shut. “No problem!” another voice called out while another one yelled “Hurry up and change! We’re already late to the bonfire.” Bonfire? YN quickly ducked down behind the peak of her roof and peered up into Shawn’s yard. There was a truck packed with 3 boys and after a few minutes, Shawn jogged out of his house in swim trunks and a backpack slung over his back. “Your parents cool with you going out with us?” “Yeah.” Shawn shrugged. “It’s not like I had anything else to do today.” YN stayed hidden behind her roof until she was sure that Shawn and his friends had left. She quietly walked back to where she had placed the pizza box and blanket earlier in the evening, picked everything up, and returned to her bedroom. It was just another hangout, YN thought. There really wasn’t anything special about it. They’d been doing this every week for the past 4 years so it should’ve lost its charm but YN couldn’t help but feel hurt.  She pulled her blankets over her frame and shut her eyes. She’ll just call it an early night.

“YN! Honey! Do you have class today?”

YN groggily woke up to the sound of her mother calling from the kitchen downstairs. She let out a tired groan. She’d stayed up late last night to finish an essay but at least she got it done with. Sure she was feeling a bit sleep deprived but as soon as she submitted this essay in class, YN would finally be done with all of the finals from her first year of college.

She blindly reached around her bed to find her phone, letting out another frustrated groan when she heard it fall off her bed and onto the floor. YN tried to unlock her phone...but it wasn’t turning on.

YN cursed under her breath. She must’ve forgotten to charge it last night. YN plugged it into its charger and made her way to her restroom to get ready for school.

“YN! Aren’t you going to be late?”

Late? “What time is it Mom?”

“8:45.”

“FUCK! Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” YN yelled. Her class started at 9 AM.

Her mother muttered something unintelligible as she scrambled to the sink and hastily brushed her teeth before running back to her room and haphazardly throwing on clothes she found lying around her room before flying down the stairs and running to her car.

YN started the engine and was backing out of her driveway when she noticed her mom running out of the doorway...with YN’s backpack in her arms.

“Thanks Mom.” YN said sheepishly as she rolled down her windows so that her mom could push the backpack in.

Her mom simply laughed, threw out a quick “Love you,” and walked back into the house.

***

45 minutes later, because of course the one time YN had woken up late all year was also the day there was an insane amount of traffic and congestion, YN pulled into the school parking lot and sprinted out and to her class.

YN arrived, out of breath, just as students were beginning to file out of the lecture hall. She’d made it just in time. She could sneak in right now and slip her essay into the pile and everything would be alright.

“YN!” a voice called and she looked up to see her friend Belinda walking over. “Where were you? I’ve been texting you nonstop!”

“Sorry!” YN gasped in between breaths. “My phone died so my alarm didn’t go off. But it’s all good.” YN let out a weak smile and raised the hand that was grasping onto her paper. “Got here just in time to.” But that smile quickly washed off her face when she noticed Belinda’s concerned look.

“YN. He collected the essays at the beginning of class.”

***

YN made her way to the front of the hall where she saw another student deep in conversation with the professor. She took in a deep breathe to calm herself down and prepared what she was going to say. If he just checked her grades on all the other assignments for this class, he’d see that she was a stellar student. Today was just a slight slip up.

“Can I help you?”

She snapped out of her thoughts and saw that the professor and the other student were looking at her. “Uhh...I came late.” YN stuttered, holding up her essay. Very eloquent YN.

“You too?” her professor sighed.

YN’s eyes glanced to the other student and she looked rather frustrated. That didn’t bode well.

“Look, I can’t accept your essays. They were due at the beginning of class and I have a strict no tolerance late work policy.” YN’s face must’ve visibly fallen because her professor quickly laughed. “But...I am in a good mood so you two ladies can collaborate on a presentation responding to the essay prompt. Record the presentation and send it to me by midnight Sunday. How does that sound?”

The two girls nodded their heads in agreement and relief before walking out together.

“How do you want to do this? I’m Zara by the way.”

YN muttered a small sigh of relief. Yes! A partner who would take charge and wouldn’t leave YN to do all the work. She flashed Zara a small smile. “I’m YN! And we should start today. Plan today, film Saturday, and edit Sunday.”

Zara frowned. “I can’t do tonight...I’m having an end of the year party at my place.” she responded simply.

“Oh.” YN deadpanned. So Zara was probably the type to push all the work on YN. “When does it start?”

“7 ish”

“Was this your last class?”

“No. I have class until 12.”

“Same here. Can we meet after 12 and we can finish when you need to get ready for your party?” YN mentally patted herself on the back. There was no way Zara could get out of this.

“Yeah fine.” sighed. “Give me your number. We can meet at my house.”

***

YN pulled into Zara’s driveway where she was quickly rushed into a small room cramped in the very back of the house by the host herself.

“Look I have people coming over later to help me set up so I’ll be in and out a lot to check on them.” Zara said matter of factly as she sat beside YN and pulled out her laptop.

An hour in, a loud commotion came from the front of the house and Zara sprung to her feet to open the door for her friends. YN continued working on the presentation and didn’t notice how long Zara had been away until she was halfway through making the slideshow presentation.

She could hear laughter coming from outside of the room so she figured that she’d slip out quickly to remind Zara they had a presentation to work on. YN creaked the door open and peaked through the crack. She could see people gathered in the kitchen and as soon as she opened the door, YN was met with the aroma of pizza. YN took a few quick breaths to muster up some courage and confidently walked out to confront Zara.

“Uh hey, Zara. I got about halfway done with the presentation but I kinda need your help on it so whenever you’re free.” YN said as she walked into the other girl’s kitchen.

The conversation halted and everyone in the room turned to stare at YN. Suddenly quite self-conscious, YN’s eyes darted away from the others’ gaze and onto the pizza box on the counter.

“Do you want some pizza YN?” a gentle voice asked. A voice that definitely wasn’t Zara’s. A voice that was definitely male.

YN looked up and her face dropped. Standing on the other side of the counter was Shawn Mendes. Her ex-neighbor and ex-friend. The one who bailed on their last hangout. The one she hadn’t spoken a single word to since before their graduation.

“I’m good. Thanks.” YN responded coldly before shifting her body to face Zara. She didn’t have to shift far though since Zara was standing beside Shawn. In fact, his arm was slung around her shoulders. Interesting.

“Just join me when you’re done and I’ll be out of your way.” And with that YN walked back to the room she was in earlier and worked on the presentation with newfound rigor and focus. She just wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible and if that meant finishing without Zara, then so be it.

***

She stayed focused on her laptop screen when YN heard the door creak open. “I’m about done with the presentation so we can wrap this up probably within the hour and-“

“Hi YN.”

YN stopped typing to look up at Shawn who had just closed the door behind him. Now that they were both crammed into this room, YN could see that he’d changed quite a bit since they last saw each other. His hair was longer and curlier. He’d bulked up quite a bit. And...was that a piercing in his ear?

“Zara said you came over as soon as both of you got out of class so I’m assuming you haven’t eaten lunch yet...so I brought you pizza.” Shawn brought a plate out from behind his back and offered it to YN. “It was pepperoni but I know you don’t like that so I picked off all the pepperoni for you.” he added with a smile.

YN stared blankly at the plate and boy in front of her. Once upon a time she probably would’ve appreciated the offer and the fact that Shawn remembered how she liked her pizza but that was the old YN. She’s since changed. “Thanks but I’m not very hungry.” She started typing away and that was the only noise that filled the room for several moments until YN noticed that Shawn was still standing there.

She mustered up a weak smile. “I’m fine. Honest. I don’t really like pizza anyways.”

Shawn’s brows furrowed. “But cheese pizza is your favorite.”

“It WAS my favorite. Things changed.” YN went back to typing, hoping that Shawn got the hint to leave her alone.

Instead, he took a seat beside her. “So…” Shawn started. “Haven’t talked to you in a while.”

YN secretly rolled her eyes and gave a curt nod.

“Probably since the summer. Move in day maybe?”

“Graduation.” she corrected him.

He let out what YN would’ve described as a nervous laugh. “Yeah right. We probably saw each other-“

“No. It was graduation.” she cut in firmly. Or rather it was a couple days before graduation. They hadn’t even spoken to each other during their ceremony. But who was keeping track...Certainly not YN.

“Damn.” he whispered softly.

Another beat of quiet passed.

“How’s life been?”

“Good.”

“Oh...that’s good to hear. Where do you live now?”

“Other side of town.” YN paused before adding “I’m planning on staying with my dad this summer though.”

YN instantly regretted saying that. Saying that she’d be back in her old house this summer. The house that was right next to Shawn’s. It was like she was hoping to get to see Shawn and hang out with him again and that was far from the truth. She wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.

She quickly shut her laptop and rushed to put her belongings back in her backpack. “Look I think I’m gonna head back now. Can you tell Zara that I’ll finish the last few slides at home and we’ll text to meet tomorrow to film.”

“Wait-you’re not staying for the party?”

YN let out a quick laugh and shook her head. “Not really my thing. And I don’t really know Zara so I’d feel weird.”

“You know me though.”

She flashed Shawn a weird look, trying to get a read on if Shawn was being serious or not. They haven’t exchanged a single word in the past year and he was acting as if nothing had changed between them. As if they were still friends and neighbors.

“I’m good.” she smiled. YN walked out, muttered her goodbyes to Zara and her other friends who were all laughing at some joke, and got into her car.

***

It was now Saturday morning and Zara was expected to come over any moment now. YN finished up the slides last night and they both agreed to film at YN’s house since Zara’s place was probably a mess from the party last night.

She’d just finished setting up the mic when she heard a car pull up in her driveway.  YN peeked her head into the kitchen where her mother was cooking to announce that her partner was here and ask if she could open the door while YN ran to the restroom really quickly. When YN returned, she was shocked to see her mom and Zara sitting in the living room...with Shawn.

“YN! Oh great! You won’t believe who dropped Zara off. It’s been a while since I last saw you huh Shawn.”

She snapped out of her daze and sat beside her mom on the couch across from Zara and Shawn. “Yeah uh hi guys.”

“So do you guys see each other a lot at school?” her mother innocently asked.

“No. Not really.” YN answered in monotone.

“Yeah I guess we’ve just been busy. And it’s a big campus.” Shawn answered with a bit more inflection.

YN couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh, which pulled a frown from both her mom and Shawn.

“Anyways...I should get going. I just came to drop Zara off” he said before turning to Zara. “Text me when you’re about done.”

“Oh why don’t you stay and we can catch up Shawn! YN said the recording shouldn’t take more than an hour. It’ll save you the trip.”

Zara’s expression perked up at the suggestion and YN practically twisted her neck to shoot her mom a look that expressed “No. Why?”

“Uh if that’s fine with you that’d be great.” Shawn smiled.

“Great! I’ll get some snacks for you kids!” YN’s mom bustled out of the living room to grab whatever she could find in the kitchen, leaving YN, Shawn, and Zara alone.

After a couple seconds of the 3 of them just sitting there and staring at each other, Zara broke the silence. “So let’s hurry this up.”

YN and Zara worked quickly in another room while Shawn and her mom caught up in the living room. The loud laughter and conversation from the room did very little to distract the girls from recording. YN figured they were both eager to wrap up quickly and go on with their Saturday plans. After all, it was supposed to be summer break. Shawn and Zara were dressed to go to the beach or a pool party and YN had a date with her bed and Netflix.

“Okie I think that’s good. We just have to edit and then we’re done.” Zara declared confidently.

“Editing shouldn’t take too long either. Great job! How do you want editing to go? We can meet up or you edit one half and I edit the other half?”

“I don’t think we should split up the editing. It’ll just look and sound weird.”

YN nodded. “Good point. What time are you free tomorrow?”

Zara frowned. “The thing is...I’m not free tomorrow. I’m flying back home at 11 AM. And it’s a 6 hour flight.”

“Oh.” YN’s mind raced with ideas to work this out because there is no way in hell that she’d be editing this all by herself again. “Why don’t you just stay behind a bit. And we can edit together.”

“Shawn and I actually have plans.”

YN let out a frustrated sigh. She was really done with this and just wanted Shawn and Zara out of her house. “Fine. How about I finish editing today and then I’ll send it to you and you look over it before your flight?”

Her partner’s face instantly lit up at the suggestion. “Great! Look at us! Teamwork makes the dream work.” Zara picked up her laptop and made her way back to the living room with YN following in defeat.

“Done?” Shawn asked when he saw the two girls enter the room.

“Yep! YN just has to edit!” Zara answered excitedly as she slid into the seat beside Shawn.

Shawn flashed YN a smile to acknowledge her presence and noted her sullen expression. “Err Zara...are you editing too?”

“No. I have my flight tomorrow remember? YN is going to do it and then I’ll look over it before we turn it in. You wanna go now?”

He looked back at YN with concern. “Zara why don’t you stay and help edit for a while. We still got time and I’m still talking with Mrs…” Shawn’s eyes widened when he caught his mistake. “Sorry I mean Miss…”

YN’s mother simply laughed. “It’s alright Shawn! Just call me by my first name. We can skip all the formalities love.”

Shawn nodded and reverted his attention back to his girlfriend. “How does that sound?”

Zara shot Shawn a cold glare and begrudgingly got back up to help YN edit.

One hour later, the girls finished editing and decided to submit the assignment early just to get it over with. Zara returned to the living room with a smile, knowing that this time she and Shawn were definitely leaving.

“What are your plans for today?” YN’s mom inquired as she walked their guests to the door.

“We’re going to the beach today with some friends!” Zara responded with a smile.

“Oh that sounds nice! Have fun dears.” YN’s mom closed the door behind her and and then turned to YN.

“You going to ever tell me what happened between you and Shawn?” she asked with a raised brow.

“It’s nothing. We just stopped talking.”

“Mhm...well I hope you’re not busy today. I’m going to need you to run by the the farmer’s market to buy some food.”