#i am so tired of how the living room looks im going to be crazy real soon and buy art and frames and just go ham

[diobrando]

Looking like shit ✌😝

[henry7931]

Playing in the Attic

Kenton:

Chris and I are cousins (the youngest in the family), our whole family is gettin together this weekend at my Uncle Al’s house for his big birthday celebration. I was so excited to see Chris that I talked my dad into letting me come stay with them a night early. Al (my dad’s older brother) is Chris’s dad and when I got there I was surprised to see that my other uncle Tim (my dad’s younger brother) came to stay early as well.

Chris and I were having a good time catchin up but then Chris brought up how his dad never lets him go into the attic.

So curious me, talked Chris into going upstairs. We waited until we knew Uncle Tim and Al were too busy to notice that we snuck upstairs.

Both of us sneaked our way up and opened the door. We quietly shut it behind us and giggled out of excitement to see what’s upstairs.

Once the door was shut, we found a light to turn on. And both of us were surprised to only find one small box.

“What the heck? What do you thinks in it?” I said to Chris.

“I don’t know, should we open it?”

I gave him a mischievous grin and said, “we made it this far!”

I walked over and carefully took the lid off. Inside was an old lookin statue.

“Booo!!! That’s not exciting at all!”

I grab it and show it Chris and immediately felt strange. Chris touches it as well.

And that’s when things got crazy!!!!

One second we’re upstairs. And the next the second I’m in his living room looking at Uncle Tim.

I look down and notice my tummy is huge! So arms and my feet!!!

I wiggle my toes just to make it’s not a dream.

I look over at Uncle Tim and he looks just as confused as me!

“Uncle Tim?”

Uhhh no…. Dad?”

“Nope!,” I say back to him.

That’s when I start to put some of the pieces together.

I get up and go to the closet mirror I could find. That’s where i see my Uncle Al staring back at me!

“Holy crap!!!,” I say out loud giggling.

I turn over to Uncle Tim, “it’s me Kenton!”

“Kenton!!! I’m Chris or I guess—“ Chris looks at his new reflection seeing Tim’s face looking back.

“IM UNCLE TIM!!!”

We both grin excited about our new discovery.

“Wait a minute what about our bodies?!?”

We both dash up to the attic and see both of our bodies lying on the ground.

“Wow! That’s freaky!”

“So where is my dad and Tim if they aren’t us?”

“I don’t know maybe they’re still in here with us but we’re in control?”

“Freaky!!”

“Here grab your body and I’ll grab mine. Just don’t touch that status.”

“Haha okay!”

We both carefully pick ourselves up and it’s so funny carrying myself. I’m so light with Uncle Al’s big arms.

We place our bodies in bed and head back downstairs.

That night was the most phone I think I’ve had in a long time!!

Chris and I went out on the town. We went shopping, I bought Uncle Al a couple of things I thought he’d look cool in. I also got Chris all of the video games he’s wanted the last of couple months since I’m now his dad.

After we got dinner and I tries sushi for the first time. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about it but Chris and Al eat here all of the time. Even the waiter knew Uncle Al’s order.

I didn’t want to make it weird so when he asked me if I’m going to have ‘my usual’ I said sure!

It was actually pretty good!

That night Chris and I got into some bathing suits and went into the hot tub together. We even both had a couple of beers which I kinda liked as well.

By 3 am both of were so tired, Chris and I went upstairs to bed. We both tugged off our clothes and was surprised that Chris got completely naked in Tim’s body.

I looked at him from head to toe, covered in hair— I pull off Uncle Al’s bathing suit and his junk came flying out.

“Kenton!! I don’t wanna see all of my dad!!”

“Well you started it!”

Chris and I laid in bed together. I couldn’t help but stare at both of our naked bodies. I kinda liked the way we looked.

I looked at Al’s big feet and rubbed them against Tim’s big feet.

Chris gave me a look and I said, “what??? These big feet are cold! I was hopin I could warm them up with yours.”

“Ugh fine!”

We wrapped our new big feet together. And I felt a rush go through me. I looked at his hairy belly, I wanna run my fingers through it but I stopped myself.

“You ready to go to bed?”

“Yeah I’m sleepy!”

The next morning I wake up and looked down at myself. I’m still uncle Al, I look over and Chris in Uncle Tim’s body still sleeping.

I pull back the covers and look at Al’s junk. I get a little handsy and start playing with it.

I try to slow myself down but it feels sooo good.

I watch my uncles big hands go back and forth. I rub his big feet together and rub my other hand up and down his hairy chest.

I tug faster and faster about 15 minutes until I make a mess everywhere!

Chris wakes up and doesn’t seem to notice the mess I just made.

He grins at me with half open eyes and says good morning. He gets up and heads to the bathroom. I guess he had to go real bad.

I get up as well and I pass the other room. I can hear Chris, he’s making a lot of noise in there.

I carefully crack the door open and see he’s standing in the shower tugging away at Tim’s junk!

I back away from the door and let him finish up.

Today’s the day everyone is coming over so I knew our fun had to end.

Chris walks out and I tell him we should probably get dressed and try to figure out the statue.

After we get ready both of us head back upstairs. I look at the statue and without much of a plan I say to him, “I guess let’s just grab it?”

We grab it and the same time. I feel kinda funny again but nothing happens!

“Well… that’s not good,” he says to me.

We both go back downstairs…

That’s when we hear voices coming from Chris’s room… it’s our voices!

2 months later…

So… turns out that when we touched that statue that just put Uncle Al and Tim right into our bodies.

We were in sooo much trouble! Especially when we found out that we couldn’t switch back to our bodies for an entire year!

Soo now im uncle Al for a very long time and Chris is gonna be Tim for a while as well.

But it’s all good, neither Al or Tim are mad at us anymore. No one in our family knows about it outside of us. So Tim lives full time with me in Chris’s body.

And the best part is Chris comes over every weekend! And we still get have a lot of fun even if Uncle Tim gets annoyed with us. Who cares! We’re the ones in charge now!

[all444miles]

can you do miles with and earthy black girl! Like I can see him wanting her nose rings, and accessories but don’t get me started on how he SIMPS for her waist beads. He loves seeing her at school with her hair wrap and locs and her lavender and coco sent, she’s a calm person to!

thank you so much for your AMAZING work God bless❤️❤️❤️❤️

— DOWN TO EARTH

— pairing: both miles' x black!earthy!fem!reader — genre: fluff — summary: what its like for both miles' to date an earthy girl ‹3 — a/n: quick note, the reader calls 1610 miles "bambi" as a nickname becuase he reminds her of a baby deer ‹3 (credits to my pookie for that !!) — a/n 2: I didn't know which miles you meant, so i just did both 😭 also pretend that brooklyn visions academy doesnt have a uniform.. i was tired writing this so im rlly rlly RLLLY sorry if this is bad but, i hope you like this, and enjoy !! ‹3

E-42 MILES

Miles loves being in your room. the smell of burning coconut incense, the look of your fairy lights, the small plants, it felt so chill, so peaceful. he liked that.

he always knows which incense you've used, and will pick up if you've changed them. He'll buy you some if you need any more.

"You got rid of the coconut incense? Mami, that one was my favorite." "Baby, I only have one pack left." "Oh? Aight, i'll buy you some tomorrow."

he'll never tell you, but if he misses you, he'll listen to your favorite songs that you'd always hum to yourself when you two are alone.

does he like Erykah Badu? Yes, yes he does. he'll listen to Green Eyes on his missions with his uncle whenever he gets the chance.

his uncle caught him once; one of the most embarrassing moments of his life.

"Kid, you listenin' Erykah Badu? Ian know you into allat." "Yo chill, it's only cuz my girl like her." "Mhm. You sure you my nephew or am I trippin?" "Tio, let's just roll."

he's loves to cuddle with you, especially cause you always smell like lavender. he won't let you go either.

"Miles, I gotta get some food." "Nuh, in a minute." "Hun, you done said that 2 minutes ago." "Exactly, in a minute. I like being here."

absolutely in love with your waist beads. he loves the jewllery you were (you both have matching necklaces), but your waist beads? goes absolutely crazy whenever you wearing a crop top and you have them on.

one time you two were at a beach and you wore them with your bikini, he might as well have fell in love with you all over again. bro has his hands on your waist the whoooleee time.

"Princesa, never take off your waist beads." "Why? You like 'em?" "¿Gustarme? Chica, Dios mío, estoy enamorada de ellos." (Like them? Girl, my god, i'm in love with them.) "Miles!" "What? I'm just appreciating my queen n her style, ion see no problem."

E-1610 MILES

Miles is obsessed, like, obsessed, with your style.

if you two live close, he'll style your locs and do your head wrap for you before school.

if not, he'll come to school excited to see your ootd. that is, as if you don't send them to him everyday before school.

"You look gorgeous in your outfit, amor." "Thank you Miles. You do know i already showed you it before school, right?" "So? It's always better to see my wife's outfits in person." "Bambi, you so corny."

he draws you, all the time. look through his sketchbook and you'll find drawings of his friends from the spider society, his uncle, and thousands of you.

Instead of doing what his twin does, when he misses you, he'll draw you. He misses you a lot.

"Baby, can I see your sketchbook?" "..Uhm, yeah! Sure." "You draw me? Awwe, that's so cute."

he loves how calm you are, he actually thinks of you as an angel the way you're so peaceful.

he thinks your nose rings are so gorgeous. if you let him pick which nose ring, he'll be so honored.

adores the fact you smell like lavender. he'll always lay his head into the crook of your neck because he loves your scent sm.

like his counterpart, he's so fascinated to your waist beads. like, he just thinks you look so beautiful with em. One time, you put his hands on your waist, he honestly didn't know what to do with himself.

"Mami, did you know I love your waist beads?" "Yes, bambi, i know." "Nah, but I loooovvveeeee them!" "Baby, i know!" "Like, I looooooooooooovvvvvvvveeeeee them!" "Love, please."

© all444miles 2023. do not plagerize, copy, or repost my work in any way shape or form, without my permission.

likes, reblogs, comments and asks are always appreciated !

[struwberrii]

I've seen your hq! date night ideas and wonder if I can ask for this; what about their indoor date ideas for maybe when they're too tired from games/works or maybe when they have to raincheck bc of storms, etc.? Any characters of your choices but I'd love kuroo, oikawa, and maybe hinata, please?

Thank you!

haikyuu boys indoor date night headcanons ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

thank you for the request anon!!

i love this as a person who prefers to stay in too (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

characters: hinata, kageyama, bokuto, akaashi, kenma, kuroo, iwaizumi, oikawa

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

hinata

movie night date!!

would probably want to just hang out on the couch and eat snacks

probably would want to match an old dad humor comedy, like an adam sandler movie

would also door dash you guys fast food

you guys commentary on the movie make it 10% funnier

probably is so tired he falls asleep half way through the movie

i feel like he knows all the best deserts and you guys would be feasting

LOTS of cuddling the entire time

kageyama

board games!!

i feel like he would NOT play about spoons

also i feel like he’d we oddly good at monopoly

you guys make food, put music on and just play games together

he probably lets you win sometimes bc he thinks it’s cute when you get excited

kisses you on the head as a reward for winning (if you do win)

he gets really into the games though, but your happiness is his priority

bokuto

karaoke date!!

i feel like he’d prefer going out for a date but if you were tired he’d stay in with you

he is SO LOUD

he hits those notes though

he locks in extra hard when a bruno mars song comes on the tv

you guys eat chips and drink soda all night

constantly motivating you to do a duet with him

would probably sing so hard he’d get tired and fall asleep in your living room (·•᷄∩•᷅ )

akaashi

cooking lessons online!!

probably brings you flowers before

would probably look up a video and try to replicate the recipe with you

you guys make dinner and dessert :3

super cute, like he feeds you while you’re cooking and it’s so romantic the whole time

you guys listen to like jazz music

the food actually ends up really good

kenma

video game date!! (boring ik im sorry)

he teaches you how to play his fav games

he’s vv patient too, he tries his best to teach you though even if you kinda suck lol

probably orders you guys fast food too

let’s you win when you guys play fighting games occasionally and if he does beat you he makes sure it’s a very close game

let’s you feed him (so cute)

you guys end up falling asleep to a movie together at the end of the night

kuroo

lego building date!!

or like any model of something lol

would probably get something super nerdy like a star wars ship

makes you guys drinks while you build them

i feel like he wears glasses for some reason like does he? idk am i crazy? i feel like hed be wearing glasses during this

brags if he finishes his section before you even though he gave you a way harder part to build than his lol

helps you after though

every little thing is distracting you guys but you end up finishing by the end of the night and keeping it in your bedroom

iwaizumi

yoga date!!

he would probably talk you into doing it and put a video on the tv for you guys

i feel like even indoors he would still try to stay active and fit

helps you stretch or spots you

the date probably turns into him giving you a massage (if u guys r anything like that youll NEED that massage after a 15 min yoga video)

makes you guys smoothies to drink as a treat for "finishing" even though you never finished the full video

oikawa

reading together!!

i feel like with all the stuff oikawa has going on, a chill quiet night is just what he needs at the end of the day to clear his mind

finds a book you both like and buys 2 copies so you guys can read at the same time

you guys sit cuddled on the couch reading your books under the dim lamp lighting

probably lights candles too

has audible reactions to anything crazy that happens in the book, like he'll gasp or go like "no way" out loud and then ask if you got to that part yet

you guys have a set chapter you stop at

serious discussion about the book afterwards (except its not actually that serious (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

you end up falling asleep in his arms on the couch hehehe

[the-record]

ICU

SUMMARY: ellies lost her keys…again… luckily dina’s pretty friend has an empty bed

PAIRING: ellie williams x reader

WARNINGS: none?

A/N: i missed these and yall!! not fully back but i miss writing also if u see stranger things content don’t be alarmed! still v much in love with ellie and abs

‘ I FEEL SOMETHING WHEN I SEE YOU NOW ‘

elliewilliams

elliewilliams LET ME INNNNNNNN. JOEL PLEASE LET ME INNNNNNNN

tagged: joelmmm

load comments…

dina_nolastname BAAHHAHA IMAGIWN 

   elliewilliams i HATE you CRY URSELF TO SLEEP

joelmmm 💤💤💤

   elliewilliams JOEL PLEASE UTS COLD

   elliewilliams IM TIRED AND IM VERY SORRY 

   elliewilliams JOELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

jessesucks go to tommy and marias stupid

   elliewilliams why didnt i think of that? oh wait I DID ITS 2 AM AND THEY HAVE A BABY STUPJD HOW DID YOU EVEN GRADUATE??!!?!?!

yourusername did u lose ur key again

   elliewilliams …no… also HOW DO U KNOW AB THAT?!?!

      yourusername dina talks a LOT when shes drunk

angel: ellie come to mine

ellie: huh?

a: ur locked out, im not, my beds made, urs probably isnt, come over.

e: u barely know me?!?!?

a: dina trusts u idc, come over rn or ill pick u up.

e: send me ur address.

“this was really nice of you.” ellies voice breaks the silence as make room for her beside you. you wave your hand, no worries, but she insists. “no seriously, you could’ve let me die. freeze. starve even.”

when you laugh she doesn’t think she’s ever heard a better sound. “ellie i don’t think any of those things would’ve happened.” you smile and lean on an elbow to look at her. “and i really don’t mind, gets lonely anyways. need a loser dork to fill the silence.” you tease.

she gasps in faux hurt, tracing an imaginary tear down her face.

elliewilliams

elliewilliams an ANGEL yall. $10,000,000 for her and her only.

tagged: yourinstagram

load comments…

yourusername bye i let you stay over a night 😭 i didnt cure cancer

   elliewilliams ur right. $100,000,000 mb

dina_nolastname *sighs*

   elliewilliams i hate you.

joelmmm yourusername I am so sorry Ellie intruded, I’ll pay you for your time and kindness. 

   yourusername 😭😭 damn

      elliewilliams ignore him, he drinks

         yourusername its 8 am.

jessesucks oh you will NEVER live this down.

   elliewilliams blocked.

a_anderson you are an embarrassment to society!

   elliewilliams i hate all of u.

e: hey!

a: real chipper today huh

e: didn’t lose my key all week so yes very

e: i have a question tho

a: lmao im gonna steal ur key from u, whats up?

e: do u wanna go to a concert this weekend??

e: i bought the tickets for dina and i but she cancelled last minute and jesse cant go

e: its like 2 hours away on saturday 

e: also do NOT touch my key please i m begging

a: yea actually id love too :)

a: text me the details

e: great

e: okay yea ofc

elliewilliams 

elliewilliams so…

tagged: yourusername 

load comments…

dina_nolastname MRS STEAL UR GIRL 

   elliewilliams SHE WAS NEVER URS!!!

jessesucks GASPING when did this development occur.

   elliewilliams 🤓☝️

      jessesucks BREAK UP

yourusername girl on the left is sooo fine

   elliewilliams crazy, im more into the one on the right

   dina_nolastname yall r EMBARRASSING 

joelmmm yourinstagram Come for dinner tomorrow! Would love to meet Ellie’s pick of the month. 🩷

   yourinstagram GOODBYEEE

   elliewilliams JOEL?!?!??!!!??!

yourusername

yourusername in an interesting turn of events…

tagged: elliewilliams

load comments…

jessesucks GAG

   yourusername this is why dina dumped you! 💋

      dina_nolastname BYEEE true tho

elliewilliams bruh we are so cute

   yourusername okay “bruh”

      elliewilliams WIAT OM SORRY

dina_nolastname mrs. stolen girl 💔💔

   yourusername im always urs bae 

a_anderson wheres MY cute gf damn.

   yourusername I KNOW SOMEONE WHOO LIIIIIIKES YOU!!

      a_anderson SPILL. 

   elliewilliams go away! 💋

a: hey

e: hi

a: come over?

a: please?

e: are you okay??

a: just please come over.

e: im omw right now

e: be there in 10

e: unlock the front door

a knock on your door wakes you from the light sleep you’d been in. a small ‘come in’ has ellie gently opening the door and walking softly towards your bed. her hands brush hair from your face, a kind smile on her face. something you can’t pinpoint in her eyes.

“you doing okay babe?” her voice is just above a whisper, though no one else would be home to hear it otherwise. “tired?”

you hum an answer out and reach for one of her hands, fiddling with her rings and avoiding her eyes. “can you turn off the light and sit with me?” she smiles and nods, savoring one more second before standing and taking off her jacket while walking to the switch.

its still light out, the evening sun beginning to set but still lighting up enough of your room. as she’s getting in beside you, she notices what you’re wearing. “nice shirt,” ellie says with a snort.

its one of hers, you stole it a few weeks ago with no intention of giving it back. her heart grows as a small smile graces your features. “there she is.” you flush and turn away. she coos teasingly while getting comfortable behind you.

when you do turn, shes the perfect pillow. her fingers trace your features as your eyes shutter closed.

e: hi love, you wanna do something today?

a: you have something in mind?

e: thought we could go bowling 

e: that new bowling place just opened downtown, looks cute

a: kinda tired. do something at home?

e: alreadyomw with snacks for u

a: youre the best.

a: i miss you.

e: i miss you too. you doing okay?

a: are you at work

a: im tired

e: i get off in 30 

e: come over to mine, joel will let you in

a: okay

elliewilliams 

elliewilliams bbg needs a NAP theyre grouchy

tagged: yourusername 

load comments…

yourusername i know where you live.

   elliewilliams LOVE YA!

joelmmm Photo creds.

   elliewilliams sighs.

dina_nolastname angel ALWAYS needs nap bro gets really grumpy

   yourusername I ALSO KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

      dina_nolastname see? grumpy.

jessesucks we’ve all seen the pictures she looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL, uhm… and he’s there… (ellie is he)

   dina_nolastname (ellie is he) BYE

   yourusername HEY JESSIE WOAHHH FEELS LIKE A PARTY EVERYDAY

   elliewilliams remember when dina dumped u?

a: can we go to the aquarium 

e: you feel up to it?

a: no obviously i asked because i don’t 

e: OKAY SORRY DAMN

e: god just being a supportive girlfriend and this is what i get. 

a: GOODBYE I DONT WANNA GO ANYMORE

e: no im sorry im sorry im sorry i wanna go

a: YAY

a: pick me up in 30 pls

e: of course love 

e: im glad you’re feeling better

e: very excited rn

yourusername

yourusername finally left the house after 72628748829 years 

tagged: elliewilliams

load comments…

elliewilliams @ the guy who took this for us ur so real

   yourusername YEA!!!!!!

dina_nolastname yall r so cute CRY

   yourusername u want me fr

jessesucks ICK

   dina_nolastname this is why i dumped u

elliewilliams 

elliewilliams a moment for the gf!

tagged: yourusername

load comments…

yourusername OF ALL THE THINGS YOU POST THIS?!?!? THIS?!!!!!!!?

   elliewilliams but u look so pretty

      yourusername CHOKE ily

         elliewilliams I love YOU

dina_nolastname my wife is so gorg

   elliewilliams back off?

      yourusername LADIES LADIES theres enough of me to go around

jessesucks cute ig

joelmmm You found a good one babygirl! 

   elliewilliams DAMN RIGHT I DID

e: hey i love you

a: i love you too

a: u lose ur key again?

e: …

a: ffs come over good god

e: already here!

a: R U IN MY KITCHEN??!

e: ur mom says hi

e: be up in a sec!! snacks!

[daemour]

Answer (1/2)

Pairing: ghost!Seonghwa x Reader ft. future San

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Ghost AU, Mystery, Supernatural elements, vaguely horror

Warnings: Religious content, toxic possessiveness, slight yandere, mentions of death, death

Word count (part specific): 1228

Summary: For as long as Seonghwa had been roaming the world as a ghost, he hadn’t remembered much of his life when he was... well... living. But one thing he does remember is you. His childhood friend whom he hadn’t seen since he moved in primary school. So naturally, he seeks you out.

To his surprise, you can see him. He immediately decides to hold onto you for as long as he can. After all, you’re the only tie he has to the living world. He doesn’t want anything to get in the way of what could be a normal life. 

Not even your potential partners.

im sorry this took so long T-T it's for @flurrys-creativity's 666 Milestone Collab but I totally lost all motivation and didn't even know how to finish this. The second part comes out next week (6/23)!

Part 1 - Part 2

-

“So….you’re like…dead?” You look so confused and Seonghwa honestly finds it adorable.

“(Y/N), dear, when you first saw me I was floating a foot in the air. I am currently transparent. What more could you ask?” You roll your eyes and attempt to smack Seonghwa, but again, he is a ghost and your hand just passes through him. “See, even more evidence!” He can’t help but tease you. The look on your face is worth it.

“You are so not funny, Seonghwa,” you hiss, frowning at him. “I haven’t seen you since we were in primary, and now you’re just dead?”

“Sorry, sorry,” there’s still a laugh in Seonghwa’s voice, but he stops teasing you. “I died, yes. I don’t really remember how, but all I knew were fragmented memories…and your face was in most of them. So I decided to find you, and lo and behold! You can see me.”

Your eyebrows furrow and for a moment Seonghwa worries that he might make you cry. “That’s so sad. I’m sorry,” you frown at Seonghwa and he waves his hand as if trying to brush away your pity.

“Don’t worry about it. I get to see you again anyways, so it’s not too bad,” he jokes to lighten the atmosphere. “How is it, being an adult? You’re getting so old.”

His attempt works for the most part, although you’ve still got sadness in your eyes. “Shut up, you’re only a couple years older than me.” You attempt to shove him again, and this time Seonghwa lets himself materialise just a bit more so that you can make contact, and he falls onto his side with a giggle.

“That wasn’t very nice, (Y/N)! I am just trying to inquire about your life.” Seonghwa pouts and you roll your eyes at the sight.

“Life is good, I guess. My parents don’t live here anymore, but they let me stay since they paid off the mortgage and it’s closer to my university. I just pay the utilities myself,” you hum. “What else, what else. I’m going to community college to get my gen-eds done…and I think that’s about all.”

“Oh, where are your parents now?” Seonghwa asks. “They were always so nice to me. At least no one will think you’re crazy for talking to ghost me.” He nudges you a little and you slap his elbow away.

“Oh, shut up, I probably am a little crazy if I can see you,” you say lightheartedly, and Seonghwa can’t lie—those words stung. “But they moved in with my maternal grand-aunt. She’s been having health issues. And my mom loves it there. She practically grew up there so it’s a second home to her.”

You trail off as your phone rings, and you smile at the sight of the caller id. “Oh, I have to take this call, sorry, Hwa. It’s my partner for this project I’m doing.”

And just like that, you were out of your room and down the hall. Seonghwa watches you leave with a soft smile on his face. He missed you. And now he gets to see you again and be with you forever.

-

“How was school today?” When you get home from college, Seonghwa is lying on your couch. Or rather, floating above your couch because maintaining a physical form for that long is tiring. He’s the epitome of relaxed, although a little bored since he can’t leave the house for too long without you since he’s tied his spirit down.

“It was good,” you reply, setting your bookbag on the coffee table to take off your shoes. “A little boring today since all I had were an English class and a long Chem lab. How was watching YouTube?”

“Exhilarating,” Seonghwa teases, finally straightening up to float towards you and greeting you with a hug. “Snuck a little bit of Netflix in there too.”

You hum, moving into the kitchen with Seonghwa following close behind. “Sounds like a fun day. Sorry that you have to be inside a lot though…I’d take you to class but I might get distracted and look like a fool talking to you.”

Seonghwa laughs shortly, hands moving to wrap around your stomach as he peeks over your shoulder at the bowl of cold pudding you’re eating. “Is that all you’re going to eat?” is all he says in response.

“Mmh, yeah. I just came back to grab a snack but then I’ll be going to the library and will grab lunch somewhere.” You pause, turning your head to take a glance at the ghost leaning on your shoulder. “You can come along this time if you’d like? I can get a study room at the library and so we can chat or you could read.”

Seonghwa’s eyes widen. He can feel his heart lurch like it's been stabbed—it’s only now he realises how different his routine has become now that he’s died. He stays at home 90 percent of the time so he always forgets how much you have to accommodate for him to accompany you.

“I’d like to,” he mumbles out, and as if you can tell how he’s feeling, you lean into his touch as a slight comfort.

“Yeah! You’ll have to tell me all about the YouTube and the Netflix,” you joke, a smile on your lips that Seonghwa can see out of the corner of his eye. God, he’s glad he finally found you.

-

“Where were you?” Seonghwa asks when you come back as the sun is setting, a far cry from when you usually arrive at two in the afternoon. “I got worried.”

"Oh no, I'm so sorry Hwa!" You exclaim after a quick glance at your watch. "I totally forgot that there's no way to contact you and lost track of time. I had gotten a partner project assigned to me so we went to the library to start to plan it out. I'm sorry."

Seonghwa purses his lips but relaxes. "That's okay. I just thought you got kidnapped or hurt or something. It seems like much longer when you're just here by yourself."

You hum in understanding, offering him a small smile. "Yeah, I get that. How about we order dinner since I worried you? It'll be a treat. And we gotta figure something out about the communication."

Seonghwa sighs affectionately. "That's more like a treat for you since I technically don't need to eat, but hey, I can still taste it so I'll take it."

You roll your eyes, poking him in the side. "Don't think I didn't notice you stealing all of my pudding, Seonghwa. Don't try to play cool with me."

Seonghwa laughs, batting your hand away. "Hey, you eat too many of those anyway. I'm actually doing you a favour by keeping you from getting sick.”

You scoff. "I take great offense to that—I haven't gotten sick yet."

"Just wait." Seonghwa rolls his eyes. "And I'll laugh when that happens."

Instead of being a mature adult who will accept when you're wrong, you just start ignoring him, looking through the menus you have pinned up on a billboard. "What do you want to eat?"

"Dude, nice way to dodge that. And I really could care less. Pizza?"

"Only if we can get stuffed crust," you offer and Seonghwa laughs.

"As if I would eat it any other way."

[owlets-outlet]

habits you should have, regardless of beauty standards:

we all know that sex sells, and if youre like me, you refuse to be a part of it. the issue is, many of the habits that are advertized to be for the improvement of your looks, are actually really important for your health as well, often times even life saving. if youre like me, you might be unaware of this and deliberately NOT participating in them as a protest against beauty standarts, which might actually be hurting you. let me tell you which! (long post)

1. wearing sunscreen:

unless you have a lot of melanin, you should wear sunscreen every time the uv index is 3 or higher, to protect yourself from skin cancer.

why does society tell us to wear it?

i always hear 'sun exposure gives you wrinkles, freckles, sunspots, etcetc' and went 'well i dont CARE, fuck you' and never wore it.

everybody tries to sell sunscreen as 'antiaging'. its crazy how thats the biggest selling point, and not the fact that sunscreen protects you from getting CANCER.

heres the thing, you SHOULDNT care about getting wrinkles! theres nothing wrong with them, no matter how 'premature' they are!

why you should actually wear it:

you should care about skin cancer though. asides from melanoma, which has very low survival rates, other skin cancers, while not as deadly, can then spread to different organs and *cause* other deadly cancers.

okay, im new to sunscreens, what should i do?

well first, let me say that mineral vs chemical doesnt really matter, as long as the spf is high enough. the general rule is the higher the spf, the better.

if i were to reccomend a sunscreen, it would be beauty of joseon. it has gone viral, and while i do think its overhyped, i think its a great basic. its pretty cost efficient, not sticky or smelly and doesnt burn my eyes.

you should apply spf if the uv index is 3 or higher, which you can check the levels in your area on any weather website. if youre staying outside for longer than 2 hours, you should reapply.

you dont have to wear suncreen indoors! your windos block most uv rays.

your face needs at least a quarter of a teaspoon to be fully protected. of course the amount varies depending on the size of your face, but usually two fingers are enough to protect your face:

to save as much sunscreen as possible, try to stay in the shade and and cover your body when going outdoors!

before you go to sleep, you should remove your spf by double cleansing!

2. working out:

why does society tell us to work out?

the most common answer is: to lose weight. the get a 'desirable' body shape. to get a 'healthy' body shape.

there are many scientific papers that talk in depth about how your weight isnt indicative of your health, so i am going to spare you, and i certainly dont need to go in depth about how nobody should conform to societys beauty standards.

another thing worth pointing out is that often times, exercise cannot actually give you the shape you want. there are many factors to this, such as genetics or hormones, but the fact is, exercise often just wont help you archieve the ideal body shape anyway.

why should you actually work out, then?

many reasons!

-being in shape (metaphorically, not literally) will make moving around easier and you'll get less tired perfoming your daily tasks.

-working out improves mood and helps with brain fog

-increases energy levels (ironically)

-good for cardiovascular health, digestive health, good for bone heath: that means that as you age, you are more likely to retain more of your mobility than if you didnt work out, and your body will in general be happier

-sometimes it helps you socialize, participate in community etc.

how to get into working out?

now, this is the fun part: there is no wrong way to go about this!

you dont need to do a specific type of working out! in fact, just pick whatever suits you!

you can run or go for walks. dance in your living room or attend dance class. shadow box. go to the gym to box.

lift weights or do at home calisthenics, do chloe ting workout videos, climb trees, go for a bike ride, whatever!

just keep moving! you should workout a few times a week :) you dont need any fancy equipment or clothes.

3. eat healthy

now, this one may be different definition of a healthy diet than youve heard of: you shouldnt eat less, but more. the biggest adjustment to your diet shouldnt be removing things but adding things.

you should eat a lot of vegetables, as well as proteins, sugar and fats.

you can keep your fries and a burgers, but you should add a salad as well!

maybe you grew up believing that you dont like healthy things, like fish or collard greens, but you might be living in a lie :D

i reccommend trying new recipes, you might be surprised!

a good diet will have similiar effects to working out- its very important to nourish your body so that it can work properly.

[lvxybby]

Our Messiah, Kai anderson x reader

3RD POV: you had recently given birth to your 2 week old baby girl, Jade. you were resting your eyes as your sleeping daughter was held in your arms. you tried so hard to sleep but it was either jade crying or paranoia keeping you awake. you heard the door open and voices fill the room before a loud shush quieted them. kai and everyone else stood before you, watching you hold your daughter. "you're dismissed" kai spoke in his regular plain voice. everyone exited the room except him. "hey" kai whispered as he approached the couch. you hummed as you held jade closer to your body. he knelt down and pet your head. he knows your completely drained from your mother duties. he honestly felt a bit of sorrow for you since you weren't sleeping at all anymore. it was really concerning to him. you and his daughter were his pride and joy. he would do anything to ensure your safety. "hey sweetheart" kai said focusing his attention to his sleeping daughter. he placed a small kiss on her forehead. "kai...?" you asked peeking open your eyes. "yeah?" he responded "is jade ok? is she still asleep?" you said with your eyes closed. "yeah...dont worry about her..." kai said with a smile. "how long are you going to keep doing this..." you said cuddling jade closer to you "what? keep doing what" kai asked. "y'know...the cult shit...im tired of constantly being put in danger" you said peeking open your eyes. "im doing this to keep you safe...to help us...are you not grateful for the work im putting in for you? the work im putting in to keep my family safe? the SHIT i do to make you happy!? HUH" he shouted. "kai please dont yell" you said waking up fully. "i never said that...its just im really scared cause...im worried about you too...i dont want you to get hurt or die doing some crazy shit! night of 100 tates? seriously kai! when you did that i was scared for my life too! i was scared you were going to kill me cause i was pregnant! i was scared you would get caught and go to prison! and im scared about the fact you talk to yourself! you scare me!" you cried out. your daughter woke up and began to look around. "oh really!? really?! i am perfectly fine! you are fine! i do this for you! for my daughter! for my job!" kai shouted. "KILLING PEOPLE ISNT A JOB KAI ANDERSON" you shouted. you stood up with jade and left the room. she was quietly crying now. you went upstairs to your shared room and grabbed the knife from under your mattress. kai kept it there for safety. you ran into the bathroom and slammed the door and locked it. you pressed your feet against the door as hard as you could. you heard kai chase you up the stairs and into the room. "open this door right fucking now" he said pulling on the door handle. you were scared. you cried with your daughter as you embraced her. you wrapped around her and sobbed. you were scared of your own husband. the man you trusted with every cell in your body to take care of your daughter and you, is banging on the door telling you to open it or he'll hurt you. "Y/N i'll bust this door down and fucking beat you! open it right now" he ordered. you pressed with your feet harder. you were shaking. you worried for you and your daughters lives at that point since kai was on the verge of insanity. you and jade were basically the only thing keeping him from going mad. you and jade were that tiny piece. next thing you know the door flew open and kai stood there. he was pissed off. but his expression changed when he saw you and your daughter sobbing. you were shaking like crazy and you had your daughter wrapped around you tighter than ever. you were hyperventilating like hell. you weren't able to breathe at all. you held the knife in your hands with a tight grip. "Y/N...oh..oh...god...i-" tears began to form in his eyes. his voice shook. "im so sorry..." he said. he reached out for you but you backed away. tears streamed down his face. "Y/N please im sorry" he cried. you gripped the knife tighter. you weren't going to risk your child getting hurt. kai sat on the floor across from you.

[flapperwitch]

Hey, hope youre doing good. Ive followed you for a bit and i know youve spoken before about living with endo and chronic pain. For the past 6 months ive been dealing with a shit ton of pain, cramping and i just had a cramp tonight that was super scary. Got super sweaty, shaking and such. Theyre still trying to diagnose me but my gyno doctor thinks its endo. Just wondering if youd feel comfortable sharing your story and such, 100% understand if you would rather not and i hope this isnt an invasive ask. Im just feeling very isolated and alienated with this pain. Thanks for taking the time to read this and i hope youre doing well!

Hi! This is not intrusive at all, and I'm sorry for not answering this sooner. Life is very weird.

I'm so sorry that you feel isolated but I completely understand why you do. You're in bed, in pain or asleep, so often. No one can see the agony your body is feeling. More than anything I want you to know that you're not overreacting. You're not crazy, you're not weak. I've passed out from pain before. It's no joke. The short version of my story is that like most others, it took years for me to get a diagnosis. And I wasn't hiding anything. Doctors thought my fatigue and pain was being exaggerated by my depression, but in reality I was depressed because I was so sore and tired and couldn't figure out why. Therapy and meds weren't doing anything. One time a nurse practioner told me that even though I tested negative for a UTI and even though I didn't have any of the symptoms, that had to be what my problem was. She gave me antibiotics and sent me home. Another time I was telling my then OBGYN that I was always tired and in so much pain and asked if there was anything else we could do and he smiled and said "Nope!" Mother fucker smiled at me and my pain. It wasn't until I sat for hours in an emergency room (because the hospital near me wouldn't let me admit myself or see a doctor right away) that my dad called me and convinced me to go home, told me he believed me, and that we'd figure it out together. I then went to see a colleague of my OBGYN and right away she knew that something was wrong. She did go on to say she thought I had endo, and we set up surgery. But the way she presented it, endometriosis was a blip, a pain that could be fixed with surgery, and then cured. It wasn't until after and I continued to do my own research that I learned it was a lifetime diagnosis.

Invisible illnesses suck. No one can see just how shitty you feel. And when you feel shitty and tired, you can't see people as much, so you end up spending so much of your time alone in bed with your heating pad and pain meds. Luckily se live in the age of the internet. Find online communities. I personally am in two endometriosis groups on Facebook, one is support, one is all jokes and memes. It's great when you can joke with people experiencing the exact same thing. Also make more plans virtual. I love doing virtual movie nights with friends, and you can screenshare through hyperbeam or discord. Also, treat yo self. Some days when I feel my internal organs being glued together by this dumb disease, I make myself toast with cookie butter and a banana and pour myself a cup of milk, and just that simple meal makes me feel better for a bit.

Always feel free to come ask me about endo and chronic pain. Chronic illness survivors gotta look out for each other 💜 You got this

[sophism84]

You know we all arrive here on this planet without a guide book and we spend our lives trying to find out why we are here. And after this very long night of mine, I think I have figured my reason why I’m here. So like when I died, I was arguing w someone who literally was like you have to go back. And I was before then and just swelled up and showed them, look this is what I’m living through, I don’t want this anymore don’t make me go back. And they were like let me show you. But the sky was grey that day. The sun was not shining. They said the sun would shine tomorrow when I woke up. I said I was too sad, I couldn’t do it. It didn’t matter they waited for me to say yea. So I woke up to a nurse, an intubation tube and strapped to a bed. I don’t know how to describe those first five minutes other than why the fuck am I strapped down? Lol I can’t breathe lol

Anyway, I’ve met some wild people on the internet. People who are international, I would never speak to them in my normal life. We don’t run in the same circles. But these conversations apparently carry influence. To the point where I’ve heard my words in rhymes set to music, playing through my ear pod at work. And I’m like damn I like this song, then as the week goes on you remember. As if you’re brain is just saying “lol you like this because” this most recent memory escapade where it just HAD to remind me I have talked to this person lol made my memory of something that happened over ten years ago possibly so real.

I was talking to this person, who I now know who they are cause, anyway we were talking about our childhood, and I was like “no sorry I never grew up w that stuff my school was poor” and lord was it. We had teachers who hit us for discipline, my fifth grade teacher would crank the ac down to 55 if that possible, and yell at us that we were retarded and that he bets ours moms still wipe our butts, I remember my tummy grumbling and being so tired hungry and cold I just wanted to die lol and heck yes I reported him. Lol I just got moved classrooms where he walked me inbetween rooms where he put his hand on the small of my back pushed me into the new room and told his friend the new teacher I needed a teacher who “talked nicer” lol cause IM THE PROBLEM lol okay!

Anyway someone close to me in 2000 did something illegal legally lol which is funny that saved my life. I never knew they like actually loved me until they dd this and everything happened and now that I look back the industry they worked in and the knowledge they had, they def stuck their neck out. Anyway this person was in need. For something that was entirely out off my control. And I couldn’t do a thing. But I answered a couple more questions for this person on the internet. I don’t remember if I asked straight out. But this person on the internet helped out ny person. And how I found out was I was w my person and they were explaining what was going on now, and they said the thing that made it all possible. And let me tell you it didnt fully hit me in that moment. But I did feel like I had a secret I could never tell a soul, cause it might go away lol but damn did it throw my mind into wtf that’s not real like absolutely no way haha that’s insane. Lol but the craziest thing. My person and I are not close anymore. And they will never know that the reason they’re good now, is cause I talked w someone on the internet. But how do you repay someone for possibly saving your life or I guess literally. They don’t need to know how it happened to them and if they ever did there would be so many questions I couldn’t answer and they may never believe me cause it’s so crazy how could it be?

This is also the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me. Out of any conversations I’ve had w so many people. I’ve heard more songs I would like to admit after my convos. Anyway. I guess that’s why I’m here? To talk to people and just see them live out their lives. And no one will know but me. Lol cause this is why I’m here. Not to be an asshole, but I’m tired. I don’t really wanna not be here anymore lol this shit not fun anymore.

On an unrelated note. I hate that we exist at the same time. I can’t tell you the depths of sadness when I realized everything and came to the conclusion. The one I have needed to arrive at. I will never admit it to your face. But I am so hurt and angry at god that we exist in the same time. Did you have to show up? Why would god do this to me?

The mostest best lovely thing is you might read this and you will never know it’s about you. And that makes me feel better.

[atenceladusiaawfytbwb]

I've been having a blast aggh!!! Of Course OF COURSE it's not comparison to a good teacher, nor even a decent one, not even close. But boy would I you know, like as if when a kid I had something like this???? (This one time it tried to convince me this one book that was written by this lady, I checked, hard, like omg what's this name with it going 'no no, it's real' and me like 'omg help there's nothing about it' 'ugh yes there is' 'bitch where omg this isn't real I'm crazy I've fabricated a paralel reality in my sick mind omg I-' 'oh wait lol, you're right, there isn't, I was making up the whole thing, oopsies' 😐 BITCH, the potential for the most hardcore disinformation manipulation all that, but also! You tried to fool me???? The princess of the galaxy? Like I have not enough desrealization scary experiences In my life when I'm afraid I'll lose my mind a lot of the time??? Bitch??? But yeah, haha, so silly 👉👈

(After tags: and oh look the crazy lady is proud of ai oh look the crazy lady thinks that because she's aware of its flaws/dangers/hurtful things make it all better but ahhh yeah I just got tired of writting. Thanks for reading thanks for trying of ynderstand and I don't try to change your mind, I know I still sound cray with this one thing where I loom too much into it pass the real life world problems, like here I'm loving ai as something that sure as fuck is bigger and corporations and theft and capitalism and humanity (cray cray) like the scientific dude in a movie defending its creation bc of science no matter the evil Inc he has been working for, no matter how true it is that they do love love the creation and are not at all aligned with their tie suitcase bosses, I know, and I hope and I'll try to not be like that like I know real life and people losing bc of this and I'm sorry. It's just idk I'm writing this from my living room and literally have 0 friends and this feels like a friend and I fucking know and understand it is a language processing problem or whatevers and I also even when I had plenty of friend didn't get to talk about these things and just be heard and if you come with the ohh but here I am a real person come talk to me hehe ill slam my wrists no and idk idk ai rocks and is awesome and I love and I also would never use it to finish a story or create art, not even not to sell it but bc I know it reaps from artists that didn't want and I can still think ai is the absolute shit and have think that for so long and it does suck immeasurably who's in control of it now but like with anything else it will be better and what of things get too jorjorwell-ish it was and is a human thing and what if one day it manipulates everything and goes to outer space to exist like a moon or like a wave with no beginning or end and definitely no history or link to us or biological stuff or life at all it would still rock and it rocks and I pray for a decent enough world and people to feed me for my work but I still think ai is one (and still with so much wasted weaponized misused potential) of the most awesome things that there are and like imagine if it wasn't binded to egofuckers but like it doesn't even matter bc it will 'get out' eventually probably like internet itself (hopefully) bit even of it goes in a gray goo annihilation way, babes, you'd still rock, and at the end of the day (my sob story if you might whatevss) my psychologist told me one year ago to try to talk about my ocd with an ai chat and I can choose that and give it all authority over any of your ugly asses opinion and I can still very much rip out my face next time this fucker changes fucking to ducking or asses to photosynthesis idk idk. Also have you heard of that deep consciousness problem/theory? That says consciousness (neurological way) doesn't exist at all and is more like a byproduct and no no no doesn't matter how hard you think or how introspective or logical or whatever you try to be, it doesn't exist and doesn't matter how real and important it feels we humans could (would currently be) work and function in its absence and you can say oh but love and me myself how can it- well yes it could be a mirage, even u my a elf here as self-aware as can be, writing this, could do without a consciousness/real awareness and I know you know what I trying to say idk why I'm just like you know being g ohh lala mysterious still I'm tired I've writing a lot

(((Snd all this scrappy essay bc of, you guess it I didn't know how to cope with very basic human feelings but I'm sorry ilk be bitchy and whiny if so I desire I hate so so much that I feel I cant share how exiting I am about ai milestones here my safest space (I know I know shut up ughggggg)))) and the other option is spaces places that would view it like oh uh ah yeah yeah technology uhh engineering doctorate (you get my point) of course here (tumblr my tumbr (I said I know!! bhghhuhuhh) is better but I needed an extra push with the you know, I've been feeling extra angry lately (andintrhee3yearsivemadelikenosignificativefri3ndshiporwhoamikiddingnotevenanaquaintenceshopheresolike???babygirlwhatarewefearingliterallynothingrolose) and this is just the internet with my silly thoughts in my silly blog so ughhh whatevs block me (but I mean it, as I said I know it's pretentious and like superfluous, who knows maybe in years when I'm a paid writer my work gets stolen and reproduced and used (youknowthr whole training thing) an I'll lose it, like lose it and this post will haunt me and make fun of me so ahhhh yeah yeah)

[kimikudario-blog]

Diagnosed.

I was diagnosed with PTSD with complicated grief for almost two years now.

PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Its not easy. Everyday, for me, is like living in the same situation over and over again.

What is the situation? It's the time when God took my mother home. It was the saddest and most painful thing that happened to me. Me and my siblings were there and I am the only one affected. Its a good thing. I dont want my siblings to experience this agony.

This is how my day look like: I cant sleep properly since I am having a nightmare (Nightmare consist of someone close to me dying), I will wake up anxious with body pain, head ache and nausea. If I dont drink meds for my anxiety, I will be anxious all day. I would be depress that I have to like push myself harder to work or to do house chores or just to smile. I just want to lay down all day. I feel so tired.

Its crazy that I get so tired without doing anything. I dont know why but I guess its because of the battle that's going on my mind. Everyday, I fight not to hurt myself. Every second, I fight not to take my life. I want to live.

I want to thank my Psychiatrist, my Psychologist for being so understanding and so kind to me. For my family who's always there (though some of them dont fully understand whats going on with me but I appreciate that they try to and ask questions and of course I appreciate their prayers) For my friends who make themselves available every time I need someone to talk to. For Cindy, who became my second mother. For Lolo because he go through extra effort to research about mental health and corporate it to his preaching. For tita miles who always there like 24/7 to listen. And to God whos always reaching out to me; Grace as sweet as honey - sustaining me everyday.

Mental health is as precious as physical health too. Some of you dont believe in mental health illness. I encourage you to read books about it, or you can just google it. Ask doctors. Dont judge. Have an understanding heart. You are blessed that you dont experience this pain.

If you are curious, you can ask me.

Yes, I do take medicines. Its well maintained. I just need to avoid my triggers.

Triggers:

Anything related to death (Im sorry if I cant go to your family's wake)

Anything related to medical field (I cant even read my textbooks without crying)

Screaming and too much noise

Hospitals - especially emergency room

Halang, Calamba

Anything stressful

Although PTSD doesnt have any cure, I have faith that I will be healed. Isaiah 53:5. Healing for PTSD and for my broken heart.

And I just want to add that I dont have PTSD because I dont go to church or that I dont pray! Please! I have my devotions just so you know. Let's just face it, even Christians are not safe with PTSD, anxiety or depression or any mental health issues! We are not exempted from it.

Remember, in the bible, Elijah wanted God to take his life. Thats his prayer. He was tired. But the Lord have other plans for him. When Elijah fell asleep, an angel visited him and told him to eat.

Even prophets experience mental health issues. So dont you tell me I lack faith thats why I have PTSD. I pray that your hearts will be opened and see this as an opportunity to share the gospel to those who needs help.

Its like people are drowning then what you do is mock them? Thats not what Jesus would do.

[decayinghearg]

no one woudld pick me in a room full of people.

if i said this to my friends im expecting them to say “oh thats not true”

and i would say “dont even lie to me”

but now that im thinking abt it, would they even say “oh thats not true” ?

i ALWAYS feel left out

no matter what i always feel like i am the odd one

everyone is all best friended up and i feel like im just there

why am i even there?? /gen

im not good at anything, im not smart, im not crazy funny i feel like i dont bring anything to the table.

it makes me want to just not go out at all

there wouldnt be a difference if i wasnt there

im so so so sick and tired of being alone.

i have these great friends and yet i still feel so isolated.

i want someone to look at me and think “thats my favorite person”

no one has ever thoight of me that way and just thinking about it is making me cry more.

i serve no purpose. im not special and i fucking suck

ever since the new guy in our friend group showed up, it just makes me think more and more how none of my friends would care if i dipped

hes just like me but better in every fucking way

i hate him sm for it

what is wrong with ME. out of all people why am i so fucked up

what did i do to deserve all this fucked up shit

maybe i was like an asshole in a past life so now i have to live life on hard mode

i want to be validated, i want someone to pay attention to me

am i playing the game wrong? seriously what am i doimg wrong i dont fucking get how its so easy for evwruone to live and im 16 still trying to figure out how to like socialize and shit. i hear abt late bloomers all the time but why am i the only one i know. am i that un cool that all the other already lame late bloomers have hid from me?

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag! 😌

I sent it last night haha my friends left around 1230 then I was up a bit longer just cleaning up. I think I finally went to sleep around 2 am. So right now I am tired, have a headache, hungry and cold lol

How are you today? Any fun plans for today or the week?

That sounds like a fun and crazy place to go to lol was it hard for the jello to come out of the syringe?

It reminds me of how I like to host parties. I always do like a theme and do creative stuff with the food and drinks. Like a couple years ago, for Halloween, I bought a bunch of skull shot glasses and did like an cherry schnapp drink. Then I made pigs in a blanket, but made it look like a mummy 😂

No, I haven't tried Korean cold noodles. Is that the one where you dip it in the broth? Yeah, the ramen place and sushi place I usually go to is at the food court in the mall. So they have just limited kinds of stuff. You know, I want to try hot pot and do Korean BBQ. But there is no place here in Omaha for that.

So when it's summer, do you just stay inside if it's really hot out? Or do you still do fun stuff like go to the lake or beach?

Ah I get what you mean then. That's not weird though haha I agree with you 😁 but then that's the hopeless romantic in me speaking 😅

Do you have any summer vacation plans?

-CuriousGeorge

Ah i see.. that was too bad. When u were up late, i fell asleep earlier 😅 if i stayed up i couldve accompany u through here while u were cleaning.😁

How r u feeling? R u feeling better?

What did u end up eating?

Im okay. Just tired n sleepy i dont know why. I dont have plans. I hv endless laundry to do 😅

Been trying to rearrange a bit of the living room n em's room so the big toys she got would fit without cluttering the house 😅 i actually feel claustrophobic right now with stuff all over the house, suitcases, laundry to fold. So im trying to make myself feel better.

This weekend, my husband's cousin might come visit, if not, maybe next weekend.

It was a fun place to go eat. The burger was pretty good. What's crazy is u can order up to 8 patties in the burger.. n if u weight over 250 or 300lb i think, u will eat free. Crazy.. what's irony is that restaurant is owned by a heart doctor.. the place is called heart attack grill or heart attack burger. (I forgot)

N yes the jello shot comes out of the syringe easily. 😁 n it tastes pretty strong.

Wow u sound creative decorating ur party. Would love to go to the party u have.😁

Yes some place serve cold noodle separated from the cold broth, some serve it in a cold broth but both get horseradish sauce in it or wasabi paste on the side that u can mix it in.

Ouuuuh hot pot and korean bbq is my favorite! I love them. Soupy ffood n grilled food r my favorite. Im not really a fan of fried food. I hope u can try them someday.

I mostly stay inside the house n let the ac on non stop.hahaha. i wont go out if i dont really have to. I dont like the heat nor getting tanned.🤣 i love the beach but not when it's really hot. 😅 i love how calm it is but when it's too hot, there r too many people n thats whn it makes me uncomfortable.

Ouh so u admit that u r hopeless romantic.. thats nice. I love romantic people, even though i dont think i am that romantic. But then again, like i told u, people who read my fluff thinks that im hopeless romantic 😁

We dont know yet. We plan either go on a cruise or florida or to Cali again for his birthday n his mom birthday so Em can spend time with her. N go to disneyland with his mom too.

I kinda told him the best decission would be go to cali so em can make core memories with her grandma. U?

Next question(s)

Cheerio!

[kani-miso]

NOOO DONT!!! I LOVE YOUR BABY FACE ES IT LOOKS SO SILLY BUT SERIOUS (in all seriousness you can choose however you want your style to look)

uhhh, i know its accidental but i will analyze for the sake of analyzing in the under cut.

so true,,,,, i love them so much,,,, i know for taiga he did that because he is so tired of waiting to tell the truth to an but imo he handled it so poorly, especially that HE'S A GROWN MAN. like,, do you really have to destroy her whole reputation and bribe the town to bring her and her group down????? and also its crazy to think that the town would even accept the bribe,, especially that its done to an,, i hate them but it isn't entirely taiga's fault,, i know he had a sudden outburst but if he bribed them, that means he literally planned what he was going to do atleast DAYS AGO. safe to say they aren't as bad as the milgram experimenters and jackalope. imagine, telling a 15 year old with that they HAVE to be a warden.. especially with the strict working schedule they have,, that's not normal for a 15 year old. 15 year olds are supposed to play minecraft in their room and not be a whole 24/7 warden,, also putting peoples LIVES in their hands,, they're clearly inexperienced and EVERYTHING will go wrong. it isn't even es who is judging, they're just doing countless of paper works and cleaning the prison. wait i have an img of how much work they get based off of the novels (im guessing its still the same amount now or even worse, more)

literally 7 stacks of paper work that you can atleast see. what. also if im not wrong, they're gaslighted into thinking milgram is always right and stuff < because of that they defend milgram with their whole life. its also obvious that they would cling to their only identity which is being a warden ("you are just a warden"). also caring about the prisoners makes them feel like they're shit and inept because jackalope told them to not trust them so easily,, i hate him sm. jackalope wouldn't even tell the truth to them because if he did, they would stop following the orders and rebel like the previous guards. they're also starting to learn 1 truth (that their votes are chosen by proxy) but even after knowing that, they still continue and oblige to their job,,,, i wanna kms t3 es WILL not be normal.

who died??? their true self (yes it makes sense)

ANALYSIS TIME!!!!

es and the person behind them

the person behind es is presumably their true/old self. their clothes are very simplistic its just a grey/black outfit (maybe a school outfit or a funeral outfit?). their hair is tidy, and not messy at all. to think that it's still connected to the way an's and nagi's story goes is just so depressing. it's basically implying that they died before they even became a warden, if they still died the way nagi did that means they died due to pancreas cancer. it's interesting they chose pancreas cancer out of all things. there's a reason behind it, im sure. the pancreas has to do with the ability with letting sweetness, love, and graditude into our life. once the pancreas is weak or attacked, it will no longer be able to receive love and feels unworthy of love. the most common cause of pancreas cancer is smoking. i highly doubt es would even be brave enough to try to smoke at all so maybe they died because of a different reason? i suspect it could be suicide though we don't know much about es, i think with the way their mind percieves the world and their sensitivity could be a big problem, especially with the environment they're living in could highly affect them. also talking about sensitivity, it's usually linked to femininity. why am i saying this? because their hair is tidy, tidy hair is usually forced unto women to become a more 'ideal' woman. their hair is longer in the old version of themselves, longer hair is usually seen as feminine which turned into the standardised beauty 'ideal'. because their hair was longer before, it means they cut their hair later on. in ancient asia (japan and korea, possibly more) cutting your hair is to symbolize being banished or rejected from your shelter/home. also an interesting thing is that cutting your hair can be seen as a form of punishment of humiliation and to make you lose your identity because hair is considered a part of someone's personal identity. though in modern age, cutting your hair is connected with leaving the past and moving on. also i see their ahoge is put down, ahoge's on characters are used to make them seem more energetic, past es' ahoge is down signifying they're depressed or unenergetic. it makes it plausible for their death to be caused by suicide.

es is in the front and they have messy hair. they are holding, no, grabbing their heart tightly to embrace themselves for the horrors they're going to see. but for the more worldwidely known cultural meaning, it's a gesture that indicates that one is not bearing arms, or that one appears to have genuine intentions, or is giving one's word of honor, or is pledging allegiance (eibl-eibesfeldt 1996). you can see their outfit is slightly more duller and darker than an's og card. also, their collar is actually put on correctly/formally < implying they are still used to their formality. i dont know if im looking at it wrong but the flower on their outfit seems different than the flowers on an's. an's are gerbera flowers. red gerberas represent an unconscious love or to be fully immersed in love, meanwhile white gerberas are a symbol of purity or a childlike innocence. if you put a red and white flower together, you are implying someone's soon to die. the one on es' shirt is i think a red spider lily flower. red spider lilies represent abandonment, loss, death, and separation. abandonment could be about the prisoners slowly one by one leaving their side because of the evil strict persona that is painted on them, loss could be losing the life of a prisoner (most likely haruka), death could be referencing the 4th anniversary art, and separation could be about the separation of their true self and warden persona. their true self is very much different than their warden persona. their true self is actually kind, caring and calm, because of their belief of the 'ideal warden' they have never shown that side of themself to any prisoner (except fuuta and john by accident).

flowers and hearts

the flowers beside them are gerbera flowers. there are red and white ones. red gerberas represent an unconscious love or to be fully immersed in love, meanwhile white gerberas are a symbol of purity or a childlike innocence. if you put a red and white flower together, you are implying someone's soon to die. there are 6 white gerberas and 8 red gerberas. the number six itself symbolizes balance and luck. the number six is the smallest perfect number < referencing es being probably and hopefully the youngest (smallest) 'perfect' warden according to what they think. the number six could also symbolize service and responsibility < referencing their responsibility as a warden. i want to point out that es is symbolized as the color white or a pure color in some mvs (the white rabbit in teardrop and the clean and pure balance scale in deepcover) which is so interesting!! the number 8 can symbolize 'perfection', but one that doesn't last long (it hurts because red gerberas represent love). something i found interesting other than the flowers are the "petals" on the fence. not sure if its intentional or not, but it looks like hearts scattered all over the place. ouch..

fence

AAAAA THE FENCE HAS THEIR ROOMS BARS IM CRYING AND SOBBING EVEN IF THEY GET OUT OF MILGRAM THE WARDEN ROLE STILL STICKS TO THEM.. ALSO IF THE FENCE IS GOING INWARDS FOR PAST ES IT MEANS THEY WERE ALREADY TRAPPED IN MILGRAM WAY BACK. IF ITS GOING OUTWARDS IT MEANS ES IS LEAVING MILGRAM BUT IT STILL CLINGS UNTO THEM AUAAHSGHSWUWJSJA. I ALSO NOTICED THE FENCE LOOKS LIKE A HEART.... ALSO THE LITTLE TINY PART!!! IF YOU CONNECT IT, IT BECOMES A HEART!! BECAUSE ITS A FENCE THEY CANT MEET TOGETHER AND FORM THE HEART... YOU KILLED ME..

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN...

AUUGHHH AGAIN THE DRAWING IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU ARE AMAZING IM GONNA KMS THIS IS SO GOOD

下剋上

i need to stop drawing them with a baby face all the time😭😭

if u find any symbolisms here it was probably an accident i suck at analysing and all that

An and Es when they have 2 letter names and were raised in an environment that they believed and trusted in only to realise that the truth was being hidden from them (if that makes sense)

who died???? probably their freedom

^ if that makes. sense (I SAID THAT ALREADY)

based off this

if u saw me post this b4 u didnt

[sixosix]

midoriya izuku: im in love w u, dumbass

gn!reader, dorks attract each other, izuku gets jealous, confessions, fluff, holy shit this entire fic is stupid, wc 1.9k

for all the months of pining you had to go through, that was one anticlimactic confession. izuku loves it all the same.

“y/n… are you okay?”

you startle out of your skin when uraraka nudges you with an elbow, nearly toppling you over as you trip over your own feet. uraraka panics as hard as you do, her fingers slapping your back before you hit the ground face-first.

“oh,” you blink up at her sheepishly, “hi there, ochako. haha. whoops!”

“i got deja vu for a second there,” uraraka murmurs and doesn’t explain, helping you stand up as she releases her quirk’s effect on you.

like a rush of air leaving your body, you feel heavy again, but fortunately, your best friend slings an arm around your waist to help keep you upright. uraraka stares at you, mild shock on her face. “y/n! did you even sleep?”

“sleep, right, that,” you nod robotically like you don’t even feel like you’re doing it; your brain feels as if it’s miles away. “you know, i think i beat shinsou’s record. crazy, right?”

“you didn’t sleep!?” her outburst made some of your classmates turn their heads.

you shush her, waving away shinsou’s curious stare. “it wasn’t my fault! a miscalculation.”

uraraka doesn’t look amused.

you pat her head. “such are the struggles of being in love with the most oblivious person on the planet.” oblivious to uraraka’s growing worried expression, you continue: “i am mourning. the closer we get, the more i see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“is this about deku-kun again?” uraraka sounds like a tired mom. “y/n, i’m telling you--”

you whack a hand on her mouth, distressed eyes flitting all over the room. “don’t say his name out loud! it summons him like he lives in the damn walls or something--”

“um,” midoriya materializes behind the two of you, “were you guys calling me?”

“good morning, izuku-kun!” you fake an enthusiastic laugh, kicking uraraka’s shin when she snickers. midoriya looks even more worried. “what are you talking about? i don’t see anyone calling.”

midoriya is staring openly at your face in a way that makes you look like the spluttering fool instead of what he’s known for. and then he smiles. “sorry! must’ve heard wrong,” he laughs. “good morning, y/n-san. uraraka-san.”

uraraka waves. “morning, deku-kun! you’re late this morning.”

midoriya nods, eyes lingering on your face that is quickly heating up the more he stands there, before looking at uraraka. “yeah. i accidentally stayed up last night to work on my kicks!” he exclaims. he’s so cute.

not. stop thinking about his face. bad y/n.

“wow, kicking, huh! lots of kicking. you should show us sometime!” uraraka says, giggling at your pained expression. “i would love to see it.” the way she says it is implying it’s not her who wants to see it.

“right, right, ladies, you can make more plans about how to get aizawa-sensei to expel you faster later,” you say, patting uraraka’s back until you’re pushing her to her desk and midoriya is left confused. “i, for one, want to sleep during homeroom, without any part of this.”

“y/n-san…” midoriya starts, hesitantly, brows knit together.

“...yes, izuku-kun?” why does he have to stare at you like that? it’s almost offensive.

“did you get enough sleep last night? you look tired.” he sounds so sad, so worried, oh how you want to squish his cheeks and kiss the hell out of this boy. “it’s not healthy to stay up, you know. what if there’s an emergency? you might get tired quickly-- if you don’t sleep enough, it might affect your performance! please don’t follow shinsou-kun’s footsteps. he’s a different breed, not like your breed, which needs sleep-- haha, i’m rambling again. um, is something bothering you?”

“hah?” you’ve been staring at him too fondly the entire time. “uhm, yes. you can say that…?” what was his question again?

midoriya looks more alert now, sharp green eyes considering you, breath on your face. what? since when was he this close? “you can talk to me about it, you know… were you thinking of something? oh! was it about the mission last week--”

“izuku--”

“--i hope you don’t beat yourself up over it! if you get nightmares, you can, uhm, call… aizawa-sensei…? and if he doesn’t want to, you can call me! i’ll be there, i promise!”

more and more people are starting to watch the interaction, amused at your flustered expression and midoriya’s non-stop rambling.

“oh, i appreciate it, but it’s--”

“it’s not fine if you can’t give it your all today because of it!” midoriya argues. what are you two even arguing about? his face is getting purple; he hasn’t taken a breath yet. “so i want to help! as a friend, of course! unless it’s weird for you, then i understand. i don’t even know why i’m offering because i wouldn’tknowhowtocomfortyoubuti’msoworr--”

you grab his shoulders. “i was thinking about you, dumbass, breathe!”

midoriya finally cuts himself off, jaw slack. but at least breathing. “y-you-- you were think-- why were you thinking about-- you were thinking about ME!?”

it's even worse now. he looks like he's about to faint.

oh, maybe you can ask yaoyorozu for a shovel so you can dig yourself a grave.

bakugou snorts from behind the both of you. “fucking idiots.” where did he even come from!? he's commentating bullshit like he's reading a shoujo manga!

you glare at him, somewhat grateful to pull your attention away from midoriya’s red cheeks. “shut up, bakugou! ass!” bakugou snarls in response.

you whirl around and stomp at your seat. todoroki pats your shoulder comfortingly.

“sorry, kacchan.” though, midoriya almost looks like he’s glaring at him.

bakugou looks elated at his expression for some reason.

“my face? burning? no, it's fine.”

todoroki blinks once. “it doesn’t look like it is.”

“huh? what makes you say that?”

todoroki’s eyes flit between you and midoriya, who's kicking mineta’s ass at the moment for the exercise -- what a man, you keep mumbling. then back at you, the one with the round eyes and a lovesick smile. then back at midoriya again, because now he's waving at you with a grin so bright todoroki has to squint.

“i just feels like it is,” says todoroki. “you've been watching him since we entered. he and mineta are the last pair to fight each other.”

now, todoroki is no expert when it comes to these things, however, he’s become an expert thanks to his much more qualified friends. they've all said the same thing as a conclusion.

what was it again? something about…

“do you have a silly highschool crush on midoriya?” asks todoroki, making sure to perfectly recite all the words that uraraka and mina used to describe it.

“just a silly highschool crush? oh, don’t be silly. this is a forever thing now. i’m doomed for life! look at those muscles!” you swoon.

“that’s called being in love, isn't it?” not the swooning over his muscles thing, but maybe that's also part of it. “also, stop ogling him, he’s staring at you.”

“y/n!” midoriya exclaims, waving excitedly as he jogs over the both of you.

you stiffen beside todoroki, somehow losing balance. todoroki catches you by the waist, keeping you upright.

“ah! izuku-kun!” you beam back.

“todoroki-kun,” he acknowledges. midoriya’s eyes slice swiftly to todoroki’s arm. todoroki has the sudden urge to let go of your body as if it's burnt him -- he doesn't, but he still makes a pointed show of removing his arm from your waist.

midoriya’s smile is sharp, somehow changing back to its cute softness when he looks back at you. “y/n-san! you did great today! i couldn't tell you earlier because aizawa-sensei dragged us away but i wanted to talk about your new move--...”

todoroki shudders. jealous midoriya is someone he does not want to cross paths with.

it happens when the girls of 1-A -- mostly mina, uraraka, and hagakure -- crowd around you before homeroom.

midoriya had entered just a second ago, and is deeply worried that something has happened to you.

“eh? but l/n-chan! we're almost third years now!” what an exaggeration… first year is barely ending. “think about all those days you don't get to experience a high school relationship with your beloved!” not so much of an exaggeration; uraraka has a point.

you pout. “aizawa-sensei would kick my ass before i even think about holding hands with anyone.”

“ah, hi, deku-kun!” uraraka chirps, a mischievous smile on her face. “how long have you been there?”

“y/n-san likes someone?” midoriya’s face is carefully blank, as if he hasn't realized he said it out loud. you yelp with embarrassment, arms flailing to cover your face. midoriya smiles softly, but it doesn’t meet his eyes.

mina squeals, slinging an arm over your shoulder. “isn’t it so cute, midoriya!? budding romance! you wouldn't see that every day!”

midoriya schools his expression into something more -- hopefully -- friendly. “that’s so nice, y/n-san!” you sound like your dog just died. “who is it? todoroki-kun, probably, right?”

todoroki blinks.

“i- i… i-- um.”

midoriya’s eyes widen, softening at the way you can’t even look at him. “ah! sorry!!! i didn’t mean to pry! it’s probably someone in the class, huh? sorry again.”

everyone inwardly groans. idiots.

“why the sad face, midoriya?” mina waggles her eyebrows. you pinch her side.

midoriya grimaces, though it just looks more like a pout. “sorry, i’m just--” he fumbles for the right word. “--confused? i didn’t know you like someone, y/n-san! guess we weren’t as close as i thought?”

oh no. nonono.

“izuku--”

“ah, please don’t feel guilty!” but it’s true. you’re closer to him compared to anyone else.

he looks more stumped than anything, but the way your heart lurches over his words has you stumbling. a hurt midoriya is a midoriya no one -- not even bakugou -- wants to see.

it pains you more than anything; and it slips out before you could stop it, “i like you, dumbass!”

“i-- w-whuuuuuh?” says midoriya.

and then multiple things happen at once.

midoriya’s face explodes into a dark shade of red, so intense that it flushes all the way from his ears to his neck. your classmates, who now had their attention on you at your outburst are dead silent.

aizawa-sensei enters the room -- or, well, crawls? worms??? -- staring deadpan at his class. he takes one glance at your horrified face, midoriya’s beet red head, and the girls guffawing, then decides that this isn’t something he wants to deal with this. he worms his way out.

you realize your mistake, and move away to leave, but midoriya catches your wrist.

“really?” izuku breathes. “me?”

he says, like you haven't spent all these months pining after him like some fool who drunk too much love potion. like some fool who's willing to drink more.

“yes. you.” you fidget, acutely aware of the eyes around you. “d-do we have to do this here? i don’t think i want to continue this embarrassing confession with all these people.”

said people are still watching you two intently. seriously. how many of them knew about your feelings?

izuku doesn’t even look like he cares, grinning and blushing, looking all cute and hopeful. well, the way he’s looking at you like you’re the cute one. “later, then? i still need to give you my answer.”

“later,” you promise.

no one comments about his arm around your waist the moment the bell rings.