#i am so tired but we’ve been having such a good time lmfao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunsetsixx · 2 years ago

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lace & silk

a/n: this is a beyond random post for me here at sunsetsixx hq but as a journalism major & previous owner of a multifandom writing blog i guess i was bound to return to my roots at some point ! this isnt me becoming a writing blog, instead just a one-off fic of an idea thats been floating around in my brain for the last 2 weeks that came to fruition in a google doc at 2am. i dont know if theres even an audience for this besides me & maybe like 3 other people in my notifs so enjoy if you wanna & pls dont judge my out of practice writing too much <3

pairing: current!vince neil x fem!reader

word count: 2315

warnings: smutty dialogue, light (?) smut, mentions of tommy & brittany getting it on lmfao, a highly unrealistic take on the behind the scenes of the stadium tour that was necessary for the plot

“Can you fuckin’ believe we’re already halfway through this tour?” Brittany asked, shaking her head as the two of us walked back to where the buses were parked. “I swear to God we just hopped on that plane to Atlanta like yesterday.”

“Seriously.” I nodded in agreement. “Time has flown.”

“It’s been a crazy ride. Like so fun.”

“If I’m being honest though, it’s really not as chaotic as I thought it would be.”

“Really? What do you mean?” She asked.

“I don’t know…I guess it’s just different actually living the modern day reality. We’ve heard and read all these insane stories of them in the 80s but obviously life just isn’t like that anymore.” I let out a short laugh. “No real backstage shenanigans…it’s funny to see how much they’ve mellowed out over the years.”

“Girl you’re lucky you don’t have to deal with shenanigans. My husband thinks it’s funny to light shit on fire with hairspray every five seconds. There’s literally never a dull moment in that dressing room.”

“I don’t know if I’m jealous or not.” I said laughing. “We keep it pretty chill in ours. Mainly just me helping with his outfit and hair. Lots of Fiji water and listening to Sammy Hagar’s solo stuff as ‘pump up’ music.” I explained as Brittany laughed this time.

By this point in the conversation, we had made it to tonight’s stadium’s back parking lot where our temporary homes were located. All of the buses were set up in a line with the lights on, as if ready to drive off at any minute. But from the looks of Brittany’s face, and the absence of our men, we weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“Hold up.” She said, a look of disbelief gracing her features.

“What?” I asked, laughing in confusion.

“You’re telling me that you and Vince Neil haven’t fucked in your dressing room this entire time?”

My mind began to rewind as many shows back as it could remember, but nothing of the sort stood out. I shook my head at her. “No. Just in the hotels and a couple times on the bus…” I trailed off as my gaze wandered over to the vehicle in question, all kinds of memories from the first week flooding back when Vince so romantically suggested “breaking in the new place” with multiple rounds on multiple surfaces.

“(y/n)! What are you even doing? You’re a tour wife man, you gotta act like it!” She joked, lightly hitting my arm with her bag.

“I don’t know! I guess it just always gets too busy back there, especially with all the meet and greets and photoshoots and filming…I never wanted to tire him out before the show or whatever. I haven’t even thought about it too much.”

“The rushing around is what makes it so good though. Tommy & I were like rabbits back in St. Louis. I don’t know what was in that water but shit got crazy.”

I nodded, thinking about everything my best friend was saying. “You might be right, Britt. Truly what am I doing if not the lead singer in the sleaziest band to walk this earth backstage? It’s a disgrace to their reputation, honestly.” I said, shaking my head.

“There you go!” She laughed. “Just because they’re getting older doesn’t mean we are too. We gotta keep them on their toes babe.”

“You always do make a good point Ms. Furlan-Lee.” I replied, and the two of us broke out into laughter. We stood outside scrolling through our phones and judging each other’s Instagram feeds for a few more minutes before we were finally joined by the men of the hour.

“Goodnight guys! See you on the next!” Nikki’s slightly raspy post-show voice called out. He was walking up with Courtney and a sleeping Ruby in tow on the way to their bus as well.

“See you dude!” An unmistakable voice yelled back, followed by the appearance of the lankiest guy of the bunch, still somehow with a single drumstick in hand.

Finally I caught a glimpse of my specific man of the hour, who had traded in the bright red glitter and leathers of his stage costume for a pair of camo shorts and a black tank top. His signature chain hung around his neck and for some reason he was also still adorning sunglasses at 1:30 in the morning.

“There you are.” I said smiling as he walked up.

“Hey lovey.” He said, wrapping me in a hug and pressing a short kiss to the top of my head.

“You tired?” I asked, still in his arms.

“Yeah I could sleep. Fuckin’ awesome show though. I still can’t believe how many people are actually showing up.”

I scoffed at his words. “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. This is literally the tour of the century. People are gonna be showing up for you guys forever.”

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Hopefully.”

He gave my back a quick rub before motioning for us to get on our bus so we could start off to the next city. As we got ready for bed, my conversation with Brittany played over and over in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right.

I just said it too– this is the tour of the fucking century. I need to start treating it like that for myself and my man. Tomorrow is a new day full of new experiences and new ideas and new desires. A million possible ways I could go about what I wanted to do swirled around in my brain, but as I settled under the covers of our shared bed in the back room, a lightbulb moment was had.

The next night began like every other after we arrived at the latest stadium and got everything settled. Crüe was closing the show tonight, which meant we all had more time to hang backstage. We were currently in an in-between period between Poison and Def Leppard, meaning there was about two hours until Crüe’s set. Vince was mostly ready to go, and was over in someone else’s room with the rest of the guys in the band hanging out and doing whatever other pre-show rituals they all partake in these days.

I was in his dressing room, putting last night’s ideas into action. I was nervous for a million different reasons; nervous he’d shun me off if there wasn’t enough time, nervous he’d think I was trying to act like some groupie on the Girls Girls Girls tour, nervous the idea my brain had conjured up was overstepping or I’d get in trouble with their stylist somehow. Lots of nerves. I just hoped Brittany’s advice was right to take for Vince and me.

After connecting my phone to the speaker and turning some music up decently loud, I began the action steps of my plan. I grabbed my tote bag and wandered into the bathroom. I took off the ripped blue jeans and tank top I had been sporting all day and opted for something more…(well technically, less) appropriate. I had dug out one of my red teddies from my luggage on the bus, a lacey number I knew was one of Vince’s favorites, and slipped it on in place of my clothes. I touched up my makeup that had begun to flake off over the course of the day, and ran a brush through my hair.

Once satisfied, I walked back out into the now much more noticeably cold air of the dressing room for the main operation.

There on a silver rack hung Vinnie’s most prized possession this tour– a floor length, silk piece of art hand painted with Japanese symbols in reds, golds, and royal blue covering the back. I ran my hands down the oversized sleeves as it hung there, looking like something that should’ve been in the MOMA rather than trekking around dingy baseball stadium hallways being diligently followed by a short woman with a portable steamer.

It had been almost a month of The Stadium Tour and I hadn’t dared to touch it, especially not after seeing how pissed off Vince got when someone (still a mystery who) stole his original show pants from backstage. Tonight was different though. I needed it to help me with the fantasy I had dreamed up after a middle-of-the-night conversation in a parking lot in Cleveland with my best friend.

I took a deep breath before carefully taking it off the hanger and placing it on me. My smaller frame was of course drowning in it, since the length and size was custom made for Vince. I tiptoed over to the full length mirror hanging on the wall, careful not to drag too much of it on the floor.

My eyes went wide as I took in the sight of myself. Bright red lace hugging my hips and chest perfectly, (the bodysuit had been a gift from Vince last Christmas, something that actually was custom made for my body’s measurements), with the iconic Wild Side performance look draped over my shoulders. I felt expensive– high class even, and now understood why Vince was always on such a high between the opening song and Shout at the Devil. This piece was enough to make anyone’s ego go through the roof.

I tied the kimono up in the front to conceal what lay underneath and took a deep breath before walking back over to sit on one of the couches. My back was facing the door, so the surprise wouldn’t be ruined when he came back in, which after seeing the clock turn to 6:39pm, realized should be almost any minute now.

I smoothed my hair over a few more times with my hand and picked at some stray nail polish that had chipped off onto my cuticles. My mind wandered to the endless amount of reactions he could have at the sight of me until they weren’t just fantasies anymore, but the real thing.

It took everything in me not to jump off the couch like some sort of rabid animal in anticipation when I heard the doorknob turn and the heavy door creak open.

“Hey baby, have you see my kim–”

The sentence died in his throat as I rose from the couch in the very article of clothing he was asking about not a second before. I smiled innocently up at him as his wide eyes looked me up and down.

I walked toward him, making a show of my bare legs peeking through the soft fabric with every stride forward. He bit his bottom lip when I placed my hands in his.

“This what you were looking for?” I offered, officially setting the backstage plan into motion.

“Oh yeah…” He trailed off, letting go of one of my hands so he could twirl me around. “Look at you baby doll.”

“I got you a present.” I said softly, after a moment. His eyebrows raised when I didn’t continue. Finally I walked backward a couple steps and held my arms out so the kimono’s tie was on display. “You have to unwrap it.”

He practically pounced on me the second the words exited my mouth. He pulled the silk fabric gently and the loose knot fell, allowing a glimpse of what was underneath to show through.

“You fuckin’ tease.” He said in a low voice, still smiling like a kid in a candy store. The plan was working.

His hand graced my shoulder as he pushed one arm of the robe off so it draped down my back. “You want something tonight, huh sugar?” He asked, pressing a short kiss to the underside of my jaw. My eyes fluttered closed at the touches, almost completely abandoning the act then and there. I did my best to stay strong.

“Don’t you have a show in an hour?” I teased, taking a small step back.

His face dropped. “Don’t you start. Those fuckers can wait.”

Before I knew it, I was being lifted up and carried towards the couch. He laid me down so my head was on the armrest as he hovered over me. I ran my hands up his tattooed arms as his lips pressed down onto mine.

He ran his hands over the red lace that clung to my skin and massaged my soft flesh underneath. The couch was beyond uncomfortable, but I found I didn’t care at all when Vince was touching me like this.

As we made out, his right hand snaked around my back to undo the thin fabric and pull it down my body. I started to slide the kimono off my shoulders to give him more access as well.

“No.” He said and put his hand on my arm. “Leave it on. My girl wants to play dirty tonight, right?”

I bit my lip and took a deep breath through my nose as I nodded in response.

“That’s what I thought. You want me to fuck you in this then wear it onstage in front of 40,000 people…is that it?” He whispered.

Any and all facade of confidence and calmness I previously had completely melted away at his words. Just the thought of him putting it back on later after these less than wholesome activities to go sing in front of a stadium full of unsuspecting fans had me shuddering in anticipation. He started kissing down my jaw and neck again until he reached my heaving chest.

“God I love these tits.” He spoke softly. “Especially when they’re filling out this outfit.” He trailed his hand over the kimono once again, down my curves until he reached the part of me dripping with need.

“You’re lucky I got an extra one of these baby…because you’re gonna be the fucking death of me.”

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kireimarkeu · 4 years ago

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No Contact

+another repost! i did not make any changes to this work.

summary; mark as your secret boyfriend.. but the both of you aren’t very discreet..

i was inspired by this drabble… so cute

5.1k words..

i swear i tried not to make it too long but it was so hard… also the ending is kinda funny lmfao!!!! im so funny

anw i hope you guys enjoyed this…? bc this was so so so fun to make although it’s lowkey kinda empty bc i didn’t want to make it too long!!! but yes hopefully you like it!! okkk bye!! njoy hehehehehe <3

+Day 18 3:32PM

You were holding Mark’s hands tightly, talking happily about anything and everything.

That was why you loved Mark; he made you feel so comfortable, you could talk to him for hours and never get tired. He’s someone who you would need in a friend group to make everything less awkward.

“And so, Yeri fell and we all laughed!” you told him, laughing at the old memory.

You used to work as a choreographer for Red Velvet, but after a while, you decided to stop since it was affecting your studies a lot. While working with SM, you met the boys, and that was how you met the rest of NCT.

When you didn’t get a response from Mark, you turned to look at Mark, only to find him frozen, staring ahead.

“Mark?” you call, turning to see what he was staring at. Your eyes widened when you saw Jaehyun and Doyoung crossing the traffic light. “Oh, fuck.”

“Shit,” your boyfriend cursed, “we need to go,” he tells you, tightening his grip on your hand.

The both of you speed walk to the opposite direction, hoping his members wouldn’t walk the same path as the both of you. Mark let out another string of curses when he saw his members walking behind them.

Mark suddenly pulled you into a random store, trying to lose his friends. He pulled you deeper in the store, hiding the both of you from the main entrance.

Your boyfriend was standing so close to you, the proximity making you nervous. You could feel your heart beating quickly as your cheeks flush red. Your hands going up to press them against Mark’s chest, pushing him back slightly.

Mark didn’t notice, too distracted on finding his friends. When he noticed that he has lost his friends, he pulled away from a breathless you. His hands smoothly pull yours away from his chest.

“I think they’re gone— wait, why are you so red?”

+Day 24 11:22PM

You were laying on the couch, playing with your phone while your boyfriend worked on some music that he has been writing for the past few days.

“Mark~” you whine, your eyes were still stuck on your phone. You just wanted to disturb him for fun.

Suddenly the door of the studio opened, Taeyong stumbling in as he stared at you and Mark in shock.

“What are you doing here?” Taeyong asks you.

“Uh…” you drag out, turning to look at your boyfriend for help. He looked at you then he quickly looked back at Taeyong.

“I was making a new song for our Japan stage and had y/n help me with the choreography and all,” Mark explained, letting out an embarrassed chuckle.

That was a lie. Well, not really. Mark did need help with the choreography, but at the same time he wanted you to be there to accompany him. Your presence calms him.

Taeyong remained silent as his eyes went back and forth between you and Mark.

“Should I leave?” you ask awkwardly, looking at your boyfriend then back at Taeyong. When you didn’t get a response, you stood up ready to grab your things.

The older man shook his head, “no, no, stay,” he tells you, walking further in, “I just didn’t know the both of you were so close,” he says while taking a seat next to your boyfriend.

You let out a chuckle, “we’re close, you guys just didn’t know,”

+Day 33 9:02PM

After Taeyong found out how close Mark was with you, he wouldn’t stop inviting you to the dorm to hang out with the rest of the boys.

“So, what movie are we watching today?” asks Taeyong as he took a seat next to Doyoung.

You and Mark were seating next to each other. Mark was sitting at the very end while Jaehyun was sitting on the other side of you. Mark and you was sharing a blanket, your hands placed on your lap.

“Parasite?” suggests Taeil.

Loud whines filled the room, “we’ve all watched it, Taeil-ah,” whined Johnny.

“Y/n, have you watched it?” asks Taeyong, turning to look at you.

You shook your head. You were told it was pretty graphic and scary and you hated anything that has got to do with blood.

And Mark knew that, so he would always avoid watching scary movies with you.

“Should we watch it again? Since y/n hasn’t watched it?” suggests Taeyong, looking at the members for confirmation. The rest of the boys nod their head in agreement.

“Hyung,” your boyfriend voices out, “I don’t think—”

“No,” you quickly deny with a smile, “let’s watch it,”

Taeyong shrugs and plays the movie.

Mark bit his lip.

A few minutes later, you felt your phone vibrate, you noticed it was Mark who has texted you. You turn to look at Jaehyun, making sure he wasn’t looking. You lowered the brightness of your phone before opening Mark’s text message.

Markie Pooh: will you be okay?

You turn to look at Mark, but he was staring at the TV screen with a straight face.

You bit back a smile as you typed a reply.

You: yes, don’t worry abt me :)

Mark quickly looked down at his phone to see your reply before keeping his phone away again. Your boyfriend let out a cough before shifting nearer to you until your shoulders were touching.

You tried to hide your smile by looking down before looking back up, trying to keep a straight face.

Mark had already watched the movie with the boys when it first came out. He knew when there was going to be a bloody scene.

So, before the scene started, he had secretly reached for your hand under the blanket.

You felt his fingers slowly reaching for yours, letting his fingers lace with yours. You tightly grip his hands, not wanting to let go. When you saw the bloody scene, your grip on your boyfriend’s hands tightened as he soothingly strokes the back of your hand with his thumb, hoping it would calm you.

His fingers on yours distracted you from the graphic show that was playing. You were smiling like a crazy woman as Mark continued to stroke your hand with his thumb.

“Are you… smiling?” asks Jaehyun as he turned to look at you weirdly. His question made everyone in the room to stare at you.

Your eyes widen, shaking your head profusely. “No, I wasn’t,”

Johnny nodded, “you did, I saw you,”

At this point, Mark had already pulled his hand away from yours as he stares at you with amusement.

“I wasn’t smiling! It was a scary scene, why would I be smiling?” you ask them, crossing your arms defensively.

Donghyuck lets out a sigh, “I think we all know y/n just loves horror,”

Taeil nodded, “yeah, she feeds of dead people,”

“Excuse me?!” you screech, throwing a pillow at Taeil, “what does that— no I don’t!”

The boys let out a roar of laughter, amused at how defensive you were acting.

Markie Pooh: you like that, huh? ;)

You looked down at your phone, letting out a soft scowl before reaching under the blanket to pinch Mark’s thigh.

Mark let out a quiet squeal as he pushed your hand away.

+Day 49 10:01PM

You were listening to Mark talk about his day. You couldn’t help but smile at how adorable he was; his pouty lips and chubby cheeks which you so desperately want to pinch.

“Babe, are you listening?” Mark asks with a frown, noticing how you haven’t moved for the past few minutes.

You nodded, “yes I am, baby,” you replied.

Mark grins, “okay,” and he went back to talking about his best friend, Donghyuck.

After hanging out with the boys for a couple of time, you and Donghyuck became close as well. Maybe because he was your boyfriend’s best friend, but you and him just got along so well that the both of you even started texting almost every day.

“So, what did you do today, babe?” asks Mark, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, well I didn’t do anything today,” you tell him, “I cleaned my house a little bit then I took a nap,”

He puffs his cheeks out, “it’s a good thing you didn’t go out today, the air quality is really bad.”

He was always taking care of you; it always made your heart flutter. Mark was always looking out for you despite him being busy himself. Sometimes he would forget to take care of himself which always resulted in you lecturing him.

Mark was in the middle of saying something when someone barged in his room, screaming.

“MARK LEE!” you recognised it was Taeil’s voice.

Mark quickly hid his phone, resting it on his chest.

“Ah, Hyung, what are you doing here? What do you want?” you heard him ask.

You decided to mute your mic, just to be safe.

“Why? Can’t I come in and talk to you?” asks Taeil.

You suddenly heard a loud huff from Mark, as his phone fell off his chest and onto his white sheets. You assumed Taeil was laying on him.

“Ah~ get out,” whined Mark, pushing the elder off him.

You heard Taeil click his tongue. “who are you talking to? Your girlfriend?” he asks, “MARK HAS A GIRLFRIEND!” yell Taeil as you laugh out loud.

Luckily your mic was on mute.

“I don’t have a girlfriend!” groans Mark as he stood up to push his member out of his room. He quickly locked the door before jumping back to bed, grabbing his phone.

You unmute your mic.

“Hi,” you giggle.

He let out a huff, but letting out a shy smile, “Hi, so, where were we?”

+Day 57 7:57PM

Mark entered your house after taking off his shoes. He quietly took a seat at the very end couch.

It was hard for the both of you to visit each other especially with the boys around, so you decided to have dates at your place instead. It was a good idea since no one could come over and interrupt the both of you.

“Are you okay?” you ask Mark, noticing how he was so stiff.

He nodded hesitantly, “it’s just…”

You waited for him to finish his sentence.

“-awkward,” he finishes, looking up at you.

You laugh at his words, “why?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know! I’ve never been to your place.”

Amused, you scoot closer to your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

“There’s no one else here, Mark.”

You liked teasing him. You enjoyed how he would freeze up at your words. Or when his cheeks would turn a bright red colour. Or how his palms would turn a little sweaty.

Pulling away from you, he quickly stood up, shaking his head. “No, no, that’s not what we’re going to do.” He tells you, stepping further away from you as you looked up at him in enjoyment.

“We’re here to watch a movie,” he says, “that’s all.”

He was convincing himself.

+Day 69 4:13PM

Marker: babe ):

You: what

Marker: I miss you ):

Marker: )))))):

You chuckled at his texts.

Marker: what are you doingggggg

You: I’m watching a drama

You: what are you doing?

Marker: practice ):

Marker: so bored wo u here

Marker: miss your pretty face ):

You: stop it with the sad emojis!! >:(

Marker: ):

Marker: ))):

You: bye

You: I’m going to put my phone on dnd

Marker: nooo don’t leave me baby

Marker: okokokokok I’ll behave

You: good

Annoying boy: hehe

Annoying boy: wht are u up to babyyyy

Annoying boy: wait I already asked that

You: yes u did, u loser

Annoying boy: can I come over later?

You: y

Annoying boy: causeee I miss u

You: fine but not too long

You: I don’t want the boys to be all suspicious

Annoying boy: ok bb!!! I won’t hehehe ok

Annoying boy: I have to go now!!

Annoying boy: ily!! Bye bye

You: see you later

+Day 74 2:36AM

You had one of your leg bent on Mark’s thigh, your hand resting on his chest. He has one arm around your neck for comfort.

“Mark,” you sigh.

Mark’s eyes were glued on his phone but let out a hum at the mention of his name. His fingers stroke your shoulder as a sign to assure you that he was listening.

“We haven’t gone on a date in so long,” you say sadly, drawing hearts on his chest with your finger.

Mark put his phone down, “you wanna go on a date?”

You look up at him and nodded.

When he made eye contact with you, he couldn’t help but press his lips on your forehead, “okay, but we can’t get caught,”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend’s neck, pulling yourself up so you could press kisses all over his face. Mark’s face scrunch at the ticklish feeling of your lips.

“tickles,” he giggles, pulling his face away from you.

You pout when he pulls away from you. Your eyes slowly trail off his face to his hair; your fingers automatically going up to play with the black strands.

Fuck, Mark literally just fell in love with you.

He enjoyed the position that the both of you were in. You- laying on top of him while he had both hands resting on your waist, staring up at you lovingly.

“I love your black hair, Mark,” you mumble, eyes stuck on the boy’s hair.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you nod, “never dye it any other colour,” you look down at him, “or I’ll get mad,” you joke.

He laughs, “Anything for my girl,”

Your boyfriend’s hands that was resting on your waist, went up to stroke your back softly. He put a little pressure on your back, pushing you down to capture your lips in his.

+Day 80 11:22PM

It was another movie night with the boys.

This time it was Donghyuck who had invited you over since promotions are over.

You walked over to sit next to Mark, but you heard Donghyuck whine your name.

“Sit with me~”

You let out a smile, sitting next to Haechan. The boy immediately grabs your arm, wrapping it around his shoulders before cuddling against you.

Your met Mark’s gaze from across the room. You could tell he was pissed from the way he was nibbling on his lip and clenching his fist. He looked away, typing into his phone.

You felt your phone vibrate, knowing it was from Mark. You didn’t bother checking the message because it was too risky, especially with Haechan cuddled to your side.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

A few hours and lots of movies of later, the boys finally grew tired and decided to call it a night.

Since it was too late for you to head back home, the boys offered you to sleep over. You told them you would take the couch. They were a little hesitant to let a girl sleep on the couch, but you managed to convince them.

It wasn’t like you would be sleeping on the couch anyway.

Once you were sure that everyone was in their respective rooms, you quietly sneaked into your boyfriend’s bedroom.

“Mark?” you whisper, opening the door quietly.

When you saw the mop of black hair laying on the pillow, you smile, closing the door quietly, your feet padding towards the bed.

You pull the blanket down so you could lay next to your lover. You rest your arm on his waist as you snuggle closer to him.

“Hi handsome,” you whisper, letting out a giggle as you stare at his pretty face. A frown replaced your smile when he didn’t reply to you. “Are you okay, baby?”

Mark could only pout. You pout along with him, the hand resting on his waist going up to push away the stray hair from his face.

“Why are you pouting?” you ask quietly, pressing a kiss to his pouty lips.

He pouts even more, “why did you sit with Haechan just now? Why didn’t you sit with me?”

You bit back a grin that was forming, “why? Were you jealous?”

He frowns and shook his head, “no! why would I be jealous of Haechan?”

“Really?” you ask, “if you’re not jealous then I’ll sit with Haechan from now on,” you tease, your fingers now caressing his exposed chest.

He shrugs, “fine by me,”

You suddenly stood up, letting his arm fall on your lap, “actually, I’ll even go sleep with him,” you continued to pester Mark, enjoying the way it was bothering him.

“Hey!” he whisper-shout, his hands wrapped on your wrist, stopping you from getting out of bed, “You can’t do that!”

You chuckle, laying back down with your boyfriend, “I won’t, dummy,” you flick his forehead.

He lets out a satisfied sigh, pulling you closer until his cheeks were resting on the top of your head.

“You’re mine. Mine only.”

+Day 89 12:35AM

The both of you were on facetime again.

Despite being only 30 minutes apart, the both of you couldn’t meet; not wanting anyone to catch the both of you. Furthermore, you felt bad, since Mark had just finished practice, it would be tiring for him to come over your place.

There was a sudden knock on Mark’s door. Your boyfriend hastily hid his phone and you naturally mute your mic.

“You busy?” you heard someone ask, from the voice, you assumed it was Taeyong.

“No,” Mark reply.

“Were you talking to someone? Is it y/n?” asks Taeyong.

Mark pretend to grimace at your name, “why would I be calling y/n?”

Taeyong shrugs, “we all kinda assumed you had a crush on y/n,”

“Ew,” Mark shook his head, “I’ll never like y/n,” he says, “she’s not even my type.”

You knew he was just saying that to stop the suspicions of the both of you dating but what he said actually hurts.

“Really?” Taeyong questions, “we were so sure you would like y/n,”

“I swear, Hyung. Y/N isn’t even my type, her personality isn’t even my type,” Mark tries to persuade the older boy.

Now that actually really hurts.

You weren’t sure if he was just lying or saying the truth.

You couldn’t bare to listen another second of their conversation, so you immediately hung up.

Markie: baby

Markie: whyd u end the call haha

Markie: Taeyong’s gone call me back hehe

2 missed calls

Markie: why are you not picking up??

1 missed call

Markie: call me baaackkkk babe

Markie: did u fall asleep?? Haha

Markie: but it’s so early tho :(

Markie: I guess you’re asleep~

Markie: ok goodnight baby sleep tight dream of me :3

Markie: I love youuuuuuuu

+Day 90 12:46PM

Markie: good morning my love

Markie: can we call??

Markie: I kinda miss you haha

1 missed call

Markie: heeyyyyy

Markie: are you ignoring me?

Markie: I didn’t want to think you were ignoring me, but I feel like you r

Markie: did I do something wrong? :/

Markie: can you tell me what it is at least?

Markie: at least we can talk it out or at least I can apologize?

Markie: babe

You: why did you say that

Markie: say what?

You: yesterday

You: what you said about me

You: tht I wasn’t your type nd all

Markie: call me

Few seconds later, you received a call from your boyfriend. You answered the call, placing your phone on your ear.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” he quickly says, “I just wanted to convince him that we weren’t dating,”

You were quiet for a while; you could hear Mark’s heavy breathing. You knew he was stressed with work and all, and you being sulky definitely wasn’t helping him.

You let out a sigh, “I know.”

“Was it too much?” he asks you.

“No,” you answer, “I just, I was just overthinking it and—”

“I get it,” he cuts you off, “don’t worry about it,”

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, “I know you’re really busy and stressed over work and I’m just making you feel worse by overthinking and all—”

“Hey,” he cuts you off again, “Don’t worry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

You couldn’t help but feel sorry.

“Sorry,” you apologised again.

“Apologize one more time and I’ll end the call,” he jokes.

+Day 100 8:35PM

Mark hid his hands behind his back, holding the small box in his hand tightly as he faced you with a cheeky smile.

“What do you have behind your back, Mark Lee?” you ask, squinting your eyes at him suspiciously.

It was your 100th day together, and since the both of you couldn’t go out to celebrate, the both of you agreed to celebrate at your place instead.

Since Mark couldn’t make it special for you, he decided to get you a present, just to make-up for all the secret dates.

“It’s a present,” he answers cheekily. “I got you something to make up for all the secret dates,”

You pout at his words, “I’m okay with all the sneaking around, Mark,”

Your hands going up to his jaw, your thumb caressing his cheek softly. Mark loves your touches; he couldn’t help but lean into your touch.

Tilting his head a little, he pressed a small kiss against your palm, one of his hands reaching to grab your hands in his.

“I bought it because I think you’ll look good in it,” he tells you, pulling out the box from behind.

You gasp when you saw the Tiffany & Co. box.

“Mark,” you exclaim, looking up at him, “that’s expensive!”

“You haven’t even seen it yet!” he laughs.

He slowly opens the box, showing off the elegant 18k diamond necklace.

Your hands went up to your mouth, gasping.

“Mark Lee,” you shook your head, “you’re fucking crazy,”

He smiles, satisfied with your reaction, “do you like it?”

“Are you crazy? It’s beautiful!” you tell him. “But all I bought for you were $15 chocolates but here you are— gifting me an 18k diamond necklace!”

Mark giggles, pulling out the necklace from it’s box.

“Turn around,” he murmurs. You automatically turn around, pulling your hair to one side so he could easily put the necklace on you.

He swiftly place the pretty necklace around your neck, pinning it. You turn around to face him.

“Pretty?” you ask him, tilting your head a little.

“Gorgeous,” he responds, a smirk playing on his lips.

Just as you were about to reply, you heard a knock on your door. Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion, who would come over at this timing?

Mark frowns, “did you invite someone?”

You shook your head, “No, stay here, I’ll go see who it is.”

You stood up, walking to your door, checking the peephole, finding out who is on the other side of the door. You let out a soft gasp when you saw Donghyuck standing behind the door.

You quickly kick Mark’s shoes under the cabinet at the front door then running over to your boyfriend.

“Who—”

You grabbed Mark’s arms, pulling him up. “Fuck, it’s Haechan,”

He let you pull him into your bedroom with furrowed eyebrows, “why is he here?”

You shake your head, pushing Mark into your walk-in wardrobe, “I have no idea. Stay here, I’ll try to distract him, okay?”

You didn’t even let him answer, already rushing out, making sure to close your bedroom door.

When you opened the door, Haechan immediately walked in, whining on how you were taking forever to answer the door.

It has been 15 minutes and Haechan still hasn’t left and Mark was growing tired and sweaty in your wardrobe.

Baby Mark: is he still there

You: yeah

Baby Mark: fuuuck

Baby Mark: tell him to leave

Baby Mark: it’s so hot in here :(

You: I’m trying!! He just won’t leave

You: are you okay in there

Baby Mark: no

You: fine just get out of the wardrobe and stay in my room

You: sorry

You: make sure u lock the door and don’t make too much noise

Baby Mark: okay

+Day 101 2:34AM

You let out a heavy sigh when Donghyuck finally left. Closing your eyes tightly, you let out another heavy breath. You could finally sit down and rest.

Oh shit— Mark!

You ambled towards your bedroom, twisting it open, realising it wasn’t locked.

This little shit.

When you walked in your bedroom, you were met with your boyfriend laying on your bed, hugging one of your pillows, asleep. Your heart warmed at the sight, you felt bad making him wait for hours when it was your 100th day as a couple.

Walking closer, you climbed in next to him. Your hands caressed his hair and his pretty face.

“I’m sorry for making you wait for so long,” you whisper.

You didn’t know what made you so emotional, but you couldn’t help but tear up.

You really didn’t know why. Maybe because he had gone out of his way just to see you. And maybe because he had to wait for hours just for you and in the end both of you couldn’t celebrate the special day.

“You’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for—” you choked a sob, a hand going up to cover your mouth.

Taking a deep breath, you continue, “You do so much for me and I’m always messing up.”

For once, you were thankful that your boyfriend was a heavy sleeper.

“I love you, Mark,” you mumble, your eyes scanning his face, appreciating everything about him. “Remember that.”

After wiping your dried tears, you slide next to him, removing the pillow that was between you two. Snuggling right into his arms, your head resting on his chest while his cheek was pressed on the crown of your head.

“I love you,” you whisper one last time before falling into a deep slumber.

+Day 124 7:28PM

The dome was filled with loud voices, everyone was holding their green NCT lightsticks. You felt out of place, especially when you didn’t have any kind of lightstick or poster on you.

You nervously took a seat on your assigned seat, waiting for your boyfriend to come out.

NCT was holding a concert after a while and Taeyong had given you free tickets to support them.

Mark had actually gotten hold of an extra ticket for you and was about to surprise you but found out that his members had already invited you. He was a little bummed out about it but shrugged it off.

The light dimmed and the crowd started cheering. The girls around you started squealing in excitement.

Soon, the boys started performing. When your boyfriend’s face was on the screen, you couldn’t help but grin at his cute face.

The fans next to you would squeal and gush at how adorable your boyfriend is. You were proud that he was your boyfriend, sadly you couldn’t show him off.

At the end of the concert, the boys lined up in the middle of the huge stage. They started thanking the fans for coming and supporting them.

“But I think Mark is really happy today,” Jaehyun suddenly blurted out, turning to face Mark.

The camera started zooming in to your boyfriend’s face.

Mark’s eyes widen , confused, “what, why? Why?”

“Because his girlfriend is here!” Jaehyun screams into the mic as the boys let out a string of weird noises.

Mark froze on the spot as everyone went crazy over the statement.

“Wha—”

“Okay, we will end this concert here! Thank you everyone for coming!”

Before everyone was even ready to leave, you had already run to meet your boyfriend back stage.

Fuck, did Jaehyun actually say that?

You’re met with the sweaty boys laughing in the dressing room.

“What the fuck was that?” you ask breathlessly as you scan each of the boys facial expression.

“Uh oh, his girlfriend is here,” joked Johnny, staring at you with amusement.

Mark turned to stare at the boys, “you guys knew?!”

“You guys weren’t very discreet.”

You were already standing next to your boyfriend, “how did you guys know?”

“You really think we won’t see the both of you holding hands in a public place?” scoffs Doyoung.

Taeyong shrugs, “Mark never brings girls to the recording room.”

Your face turned red at Taeyong’s comment as Mark groans at his words.

“And you think I wouldn’t see you guys holding hands under the blanket? Jesus,” sighs Jaehyun, rolling his eyes.

“Fuck you,” Mark replies while Jaehyun flashes the middle finger to his friend.

“Also, you talk way too loud y/n,” Taeil says, Taeyong immediately agreeing with him.

“Or maybe the walls are too thin?” Taeyong questions.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, embarrassed. “So, you guys heard everything?”

“Wish we didn’t,” shrugs Johnny.

Mark had quietly reached for your hand, a habit he had whenever he’s nervous.

“Also, I knew Mark was at your place, that’s why I came over,” laughs Haechan.

You had let go of Mark’s hands to stomp over to the boy, hitting his back. “Lee Donhyuck! Did you know how long he had to wait in my wardrobe?!”

Haechan rolls his eyes, “oh please, you let him out because he was sweating.”

You let out a loud gasp, “you knew that too?!”

“Which idiot would put their password as 0000?”

“You went through my phone?!” you raised your voice, hitting the boy on the back once more.

With furrowed eyebrows you frown and let out a sigh, “now what? Everyone knows Mark has a girlfriend,”

“I checked Twitter,” Jungwoo says, “some weren’t very happy but there are many who are supportive,”

Your frown deepens. You knew this would happen. It would affect Mark’s career badly; that was the main reason the both of you kept your relationship a secret.

You turn to look at your boyfriend who was looking incredibly stressed right now.

“Don’t worry y/n,” assures Johnny, you turn to look at him. “Mark is one of the most experienced and hardworking people in SM, I’m sure they’ll let you both off,”

You had your arms crossed defensively, “are you okay with this, Mark?”

You were worried for your boyfriend.

You knew how much being on stage meant to him. He would do anything to continue performing.

“I…I think so?” he says after a minute of pure silence.

You pout slightly at his words.

“I just wanna rest right now, I’m tired.”

The boys quickly agree with the younger. Everyone started standing up, grabbing their bags, leaving the room.

You stayed with your boyfriend, accompanying him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” you ask him again.

He kept letting out sad sighs and it was concerning you.

“Honestly,” he started, “I don’t know,” he turns to look at you.

The palm of your hands automatically going up to stroke his back, attempting to comfort him.

“I just… I just wanna be with you right now,”

You lean closer to him. “Okay.”

“Whatever it is,” he says, “we will go through it together.”

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rigginsstreet · 2 years ago

Note

I’m sorry in advance for venting but your blog is really refreshing because you say it like it is and there’s no need to use overtly complicated and polite language just so some ppl don’t lose their shit.

Anyway. I’m not even starting on St*ddie (I could go on forever) because honestly it’s clear that the D Bags and other producers or whatever knew that the ship/interaction between the characters would appeal to the audience and bring more ppl to watch the show, because it is just a cutesy little ship with no conflict whatsoever (which, y’know…boring af), so there’s no one trying to play the social justice warrior when they are shipping St*ddie.

But one thing I also don’t understand is the obsession over R*nance? Maybe it’s because I don’t like any of the Wheelers and how they are coddled every second of the show. But I just don’t see the appeal either, especially with the whole “let me help my friend try to get back to his ex” type of dynamic the group had.

Like, I get it, people want more LGBTQ+ rep, I want it too, but insisting on Nancy? I just honestly don’t get it. Like, whether the fandom admits it or not, sure Nancy can shoot guns, but she is still an entitled suburban girl. I don’t think Robin would go for her after her crush on Tammy. Not that Tammy and Nancy are the same, but still. If people want their rep, they should stop settling for crumbs and shit that just doesn’t fit.

And like maybe I am a bad sister or friend for this, but it’s getting so tiring listening to my sisters and friends raving over these ships when I just find it extremely dull. But god forbid I talk about Harringrove with any of them, since they fell for the “Billy is the ultimate villain” bullshit. But like…at least Harringrove has complexity and way more depth, so much potential. Idk.

Anyway. Thank you for being unapologetically honest! Again, it’s very refreshing. I really enjoy your blog!

Oof you hit the nail on the head about r*nonance.

I never like popular femslash ships lmfao content for femslash ships is rare enough and I always gotta make shit more difficult for myself by shipping the LEAST popular thing, just making up my own shit entirely 😂

And yeah it’s definitely because people so badly want femslash ships and get nothing so when they are served the barest of crumbs they go crazy. And I just… do not succumb to that way of thinking. Because above of all else, I want to be entertained ALSO I don’t just go around putting queer labels on characters for the hell of it (sometimes I do as a joke but right now I’m talking about when I’m actually shipping something) I have to actually see context for it within the narrative. And I know some people don’t like making it that deep and just wanna have fun but that’s just not how my brain works lmao things need to make sense to me

So when people start trying to make Nancy goddamn wheeler of all people queer it’s like…. She isn’t. Even remotely lmfao I know everyone’s all excited robin finally had a female to interact with in I guess a significant way but this is not the move it is not the vibe lmao

As far as your friends and sister go… talk about harringrove all the time. Walk into every conversation starting with harringrove. That is your right lmfao I’m so serious.

I only have one irl friend who is into stranger things in a remotely fan-ish fashion and she’s a big Eddie fan and she knows I love billy and we have this jokey beef going on but she hasn’t brought up anything about him being a villain to me… probably because we’ve been friends for over 10 years and she knows good and well my habit of latching onto whatever character has the worst personality 😂 she knows not to fight me. Which is my other advice. Be so annoying in your arguments that people eventually learn to shut their mouth around you. I condition everyone in my life to do this and I know peace because of it

#briana answers things

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woogurl · 4 years ago

Text

(hi, it’s me again pretending as if i didn’t go on an unannounced hiatus).

yes, i’m back...for now. i’m not sure for how long. as i’m too busy these days, but i wanted to specifically make this post because it’s been bothering me for a while now. someone mentioned this in the woosan tag as well, but it’s...

non-atiny’s(and some anti-shipping atiny) who constantly feel the need to expose woosan as some cleverly put together ship that was carefully manufactured by the company. i’ve seen so many titles on youtube and posts on twitter saying how:

“woosan is obvious fanservice” and “woosan; a prime example of queerbating in kpop”

i’ve never seen a ship be so criticized for being ‘out there’ and ‘in your face’. i’ve made a post on fanservice before but this post will mainly be focused on why i think it’s completely unfair, dishonest, homophobic, and antagonistic to view their relationship as manufactured and fake. and before you go, ‘i’m sure they’re good friends but all that other stuff is clearly done by the company.’ and don’t get me wrong, bc kq is very much aware of the ships and do try to profit off of fanservice...like every other company. but the clearest indicator of this not being MOSTLY all fanservice is something i’ve mentioned many times before.

1. the rest of the ships in ateez not being anywhere near the intimacy and skinship as woosan.

2. body language.

3. the members THEMSELVES explaining their dynamics.

4. kq not FORCING ships.

ever since predebut and debut there’s ALWAYS been three main ships in ateez. seongjoong, yungi, and ofc woosan.

as you could see, woosan was definitely thee most popular ship. however, i do believe their popularity grew over time because during the early era i’m sure seongjoong dominated, even on fanfic sites they dominate the amount of fanfics written about them. however, woosan’s clear comfort and intimacy with each other made them more popular among atiny’s and even non atiny’s they even had some taekookers saying their ship was realer and that’s saying something xD.

something people really, no i mean REALLY need to understand is...doing fanservice does not invalidate an entire relationship.

there are plenty of celeb couples who enjoy publicly dating and showing affection.

then comes the argument of well, “if they were real they wouldn’t be so obvious about it.”

this statement bothers me because, people who believe that showing too much skinship is fanservice but then they’ll turn around and say at the same time it’s just culture???

it’s fair to see them doing their fake love dance routine and going THAT’S FANSERVICE. but looking at those moments and going ‘nah, their entire friendship gotta be fanservice.’ is delusional to me, as u like to call us shippers.

even if you do not ship them romantically, it’s odd to me that people see two same-sex idols expressing comfortability, intimacy and skinship together and feel like if they’re too open about it or if it looks too gay then it’s....fake? even tho fans love to say it’s just apart of their culture. but if it gets too gay, then it’s fanservice.

i can’t. xD

just because they’re completely comfortable with being intimate doesn’t mean they’re being forced to act that way...it literally just means they ARE that way.

i constantly put emphasis on being comfortable with skinship and intimacy bc, to me that’s just not something the company can force. body language is a reaction from your true emotions and your inner most thoughts. IT IS THE FOUNDATION TO FIGURING OUT WHAT A PERSON TRULY FEELS INSIDE AS THEIR EMOTIONS WILL ALWAYS TRANSLATE THROUGH THEIR BODY. if u are uncomfortable it will be revealed through body language. and i know a ton of seongjoong shippers are gonna hate me for this, but they are a prime example of this. trust me i’m not here to start a ship war, i am purely just using them as an example of discomfort in body language.

body language is something a company cannot control.

seongjoong show definite signs of being uncomfortable with intimacy, heck shippers use that one moment seonghwa expressed sadness bc hj hugged the other members and not him as a shipping moment lol. but even when they do hug it looks uncomfortable. my guess is bc hj is not good at expressing his feelings and isn’t a touchy person. and even tho seonghwa is comfortable with skinship, it’s understandable that it can become uncomfortable for him bc of the things i mentioned before as well as the power dynamics and age difference between them.

and here i am going to be stoned bc, i have more to say about seongjoong(don’t kill me).

bc something the company also can’t control is what OR who the members hang out with OUTSIDE of group activities. so that’s why i’m also mentioning that i also don’t think seongjoong is as close as shippers think they are as...seonghwa mostly hangs out with woosan. and it is almost always mentioned how often woosan hang out together off camera. even early on. woosan hung out so much that it literally came to a point where yeosang felt like his bestfriend was taken from him.

can we mention again how happy that makes san? and let’s not forget the moment woo said seonghwa was into him, but san was like. ‘you’re into me tho’ and they BOTH tried to gloss over that.

wooyoung: wHaT dO u mEaN?

lol. people love to say how much san’s whipped for woo, but woo’s probably even more whipped.

here’s more evidence of woosan enjoying each others company off camera. https://woogurl.tumblr.com/post/614348590729625600/nobody-wooyoung-san-and-i-bass-boosted#notes.

we can even talk about a more recent moment. the ateez debate about mint chocolate. dunno what’s with these kpop idols debating about mint choco ‘cause bts did it too. lol. anyway, they ended up talking about the group dynamics. and how woosan again are always together.

i-i’m sorry, but does moment remind y’all of a past moment? LMFAO. seonghwa’s feeling yeosang’s pain.

seonghwa’s just like woosan says they’re tired of each other but can’t detach themselves. and here’s more evidence that the company isn’t forcing them. for those who thinks kq has some masterplan when it comes to promoting ships.

when they talk about their dynamics, jongho says he feels left out but hj exposes him and says, ‘we’ve tried to pair him with someone but he(jongho) just doesn’t do it’

so this just solidifies my statement from earlier, if the members don’t wanna promote a ship. they ain’t gonna do it. we got one or two vlives from twoho and das it. lmfao. don’t get me wrong. i’m sure jongho get along well with yunho as well as the other members, but promoting any of the other ships in ateez like woosan isn’t gonna work well. ‘cause the rest of the members don’t have the same dynamics. woosan are comfortable with skinship and being intimate with each other and the other members just are not.

another piece of evidence is the members tired reaction whenever woosan is mentioned. lmfao.

this was so dramatic omg. but the members reactions are very telling of woosan’s relationship off screen. if woosan was just fanservice i do not believe the members would react the way they do, maybe share some knowing glances at each other like. ‘pfft, they think woosan’s real’ but their reactions are always big or very indicative of something bigger happening behind the scenes. lol.

i’m not gonna go into too much details, bc the members reactions to woosan are an entirely different post(i got so many posts to make. xD).

Lastly Wooyoung’s Tatto. I know right? He’s very committed to fanservice guys.

Amicus ad Aras is something that woosan made to signify their friendship, and the fact woo got a tattoo on his body of it means a lot. not to mention woo himself taking initiative to find something that represented their relationship.

i feel like i need to reiterate that the meaning of this tattoo was to define his relationship to san specifically so it applies to san specifically. woo has many MANY friends AS WELL as bestfriends yet he got a tattoo that can only be truly applied to san and no one else.

u can continue saying theyy’re just good friends doing fanservice, but it’s obv that woo has many good friends. so the next question u gotta answer is what separates san from the others.

#ateez #wooyoung #san #woosan #analysis

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sugaftrm · 4 years ago

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♡ sweet sope ♡

love notes for my mutuals hi everyone, this past week has been full of extra love and wanted to share my appreciation, not just for this joyful community, but for the people who brighten up each day with their presence!

@blueandtaes - hi my sib, i love you. being in this fandom together is a godsend. through the weeping, the cackling, the impulse purchases, the city adventures and home dance parties, i’m so blessed to be doing it all with you.

@zmalik - sabrina shonaaaa you’re one of the first people i followed on this website (i legit think you were the second person after my sister), i dont know why you followed when you did since i was a chaotic mess back then but i am so so thankful that you did! i remember our early convos and i still fantasize about deshi food hangouts in the city, whether that’s yours or mine. you’re the kind of person who in many ways I aspire to be, because you say what’s on your mind without the fluff. I’ve been meaning to ask you why you hate ji changwook btw but I’ve been scared! one day let’s talk about it over chaa nastha? Love you, and sending all my affection to you and ur new kitten!! @yoonglet - hello angel aahana! I feel as though no matter how I try to word how I feel about you, it will always fall short. You are one of the most generous, strong-willed, friendly people I know. Your aura is bright and I am so honored to witness you, even if it’s through this limited window of armytumblr. thank you for believing in me, when I didn’t believe in myself! Your support means everything <3 @artsyjoons - anj! i distinctly remember an early convo we had where we were talking about namjoon doing an srk pose lmfao thank you for understanding what i was rambling about in the tags and initiating a convo with me! every morning i wake up and i see you enriching my feed with your thoughts, your humor, and your captivating energy! please share with me the secret to being so sweet and cool?? @rosebowl - my sweetheart Sharika, when I think about you honestly… I feel anxious and giddy! Because I wonder what luck I must have accidentally stumbled upon to find a desi army friend right here in New York, and that too someone who shares so many of my own values and interests!!?? Sounds like a dream, hope I never wake up! My adoration for you grows every day, please know that I am rooting for you and support you, just how you show up endlessly for all of us! Can’t wait for our future adventures xoxoxo @taefiore - hi my darling raabia! (I hope you’re resting and not stressing when you read this, but if you are stressed I hope this makes you smile) I feel like I have to thank run-on for bringing us together?? I have enjoyed every single one of our conversations and interactions, you’re easily one of the most clever and sweet people on this site! thank you for listening to my dreams, for all your kind/witty commentary on things I post, and for being an all-around incredible person! i know how hard you work and I hope your future is just as bright as you are, love you! @bibillyhillsbaby - lovely helena, are your legs tired? Cus you’re running through my mind oooooh! we’ve said this to each other many times, how fun it is to chat about shows, about our love for these men,™ and more! but have I told you about the times you’ve generated warmth and peace for my soul? your compassion has not gone unnoticed dear friend <3 you’ve made so many of us laugh and smile, lended kind words when we’ve needed them the most. I hope that when you see flowers and trees, you think of all our love blossoming for you! @kithtaehyung - oh ryen! when you created the ‘still with you’ gfx you officially stole my heart! but then you went and kept it for good when you made the ‘magic shop’ gfx during a challenging time in my life. your empathy and your cheerfulness was a clearing for my foggy mind! you’re a stellar person and i get such a burst of joy when i see you on my feed. if i could handwrite notes for you everyday, i would! <3 @pinkjjoon - sara i can’t remember our first conversation, but i could’ve swore it had something to do with the term “namjaan” lmao! though we’re timezones apart, i am glad the internet brought us together cus i really need more desi army visibility! i appreciate your candidness, your humor, as well as your kind words during hard times. i hope bts gets their act together and holds a concert where you are cus you more than deserve it! @hazeltae - allison, ive been trying to put to words why i feel so drawn to you and why you always make my day and i think it’s bc you’re a capricorn sun/pisces moon!!! no wonder you have this way of making people feel steady, held while also relating to them on an emotional level! i love talking to you about rj, about yoongi, about totally normal shopping habits <3 thank you for all that you are and for being such a sweetheart! @gimbapchefs - hello nat!! even though we’re newer mutuals, there’s such a refreshing ease in our conversations that i truly appreciate! i find myself resonating with your thoughts and reactions, and cackling at things you reflect in the tags! i also admire your dedication to your studies, even when you get a little distracted ;) we need more people like you in the field, i’m so excited to see where your journey takes you! @intronnevermind - hi raf! it’s such a pleasure to be connected here! we haven’t spoken much but your posts and content leave me with a great sense of joy/admiration! i am so impressed by your style and am looking forward to anything you create in the future. thank you for sharing sweet remarks about my amateur content and for being such a lovely part of this community! @ourownwings - wings :) i am so in awe of the creations you provide for the community and all the tender labor that goes into relaying the BU stories here! i can only imagine the time it takes to do that, but you’ve done above and beyond - and i’m so proud of your milestone! i was delighted to chat with your about your life outside tumblr, and wish you all the best in your future endeavors! thank you for being such a sweet, supportive presence in my orbit! @jintae - padya, it’s likely you’ll see this if/when you return from your hiatus but you should know that i appreciate our exchanges and how excited i was to connect with another nyc bengali army! i hope you are taking care and finding enjoyment during your days <3 i think about your written piece about the impact bts has had on you as well as the publication you created for the community, and am so proud to know that you’ve spearheaded these meaningful spaces for others. i hope our bond can grow over time, universe-willing, and that you get every happiness you absolutely deserve!

to my lovely mutuals who amaze me every time with their creations & their talent, and have given me much laughter/much comfort, i am grateful for you. i have much warmth in my heart for you all and appreciate the conversations we’ve had about life, about bangtan, and anything in between. thank you for being here: @duckjinnie @ayosuuga @yoongisshadow @userjiminie @jinbestboy @mykrokosmos @marvelousbangtan @jimindelune @floraljimin @flowerseokjin @dinamitae @zhujieqiong @thegoddessly @kooseokss @dalbichigom @jinjagi @joonsrack

#well in true t fashion #i poured out my soul when no one asked for it???#i'm sorry.... for the rambling but you all signed up for this when you became mutuals with an emotional psychotherapist #i also apologize if i left anyone out!!#ALSO no pressure to reply to this!!!#i really wasnt expecting to do much connecting when i started this blog not too long ago #but here you all are and i feel so blessed #glad we're all here going through the motions of being bts fans together #i picked this sope moment bc in my mind we're laughing together while listening to music #and being sweet and tender with one another #:]#mygifs

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pumpkinpaix · 4 years ago

Note

this is gonna sound so harsh but im legit tired of chinese diaspora people who think that bc they are of chinese descent and they have pleco they can act like voices of authority in the fandom. if modao is the 1st chinese book you have read pieces of with a dictionary, if you have never interacted with the actual chinese fandom, you are not part of the intended audience and your biased opinion is not the One And Only Valid Truth 🍵

genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to shade me here anon lmao 😂

this got long and rambly (of course) asldkjfslj. i would love to make the excuse that it’s bc i’ve got a migraine and had No Sleep but. let’s be real i’m always like this.

ok i’ll start with where i agree: i don’t think anyone has the right to act like an ultimate voice of authority in fandom. i think different people with different backgrounds have varying realms of expertise and they should be respected when they share that knowledge, but that the instant someone starts to use that kind of power as a weapon against people they personally don’t like, i think they forfeit that privilege. no one has the one and only valid truth about a piece of media because that’s fundamentally impossible. i have definitely interacted with diaspo who behave like their heritage gives them some kind of incontrovertible authority over everyone else, and they’re fucking insufferable and often rather cruel, even/especially towards other diaspo. meet me in the denny’s parking lot and fight me for real. i’ll kick ur ass. >:c

however, I also think it’s true that there’s a lot of dismissal of heritage fans in this fandom, if that makes sense, from both sides of the equation: non-Chinese fans ignore our cultural hangups because they’re inconvenient, and non-diaspora disdain us for being not Chinese enough. that puts a lot of us in a position of feeling disrespected just for being who we are, or having our very real knowledge and unique experience as individuals devalued because of it.

regardless of my identity, I have formally studied a lot of things: literary translation, media analysis, the politics of oppression, film critique, religious studies, philosophy, four foreign languages etc. and that is all knowledge that I had to work for, and work hard for. I do have a certain measure of authority on all of these subjects over a layperson (to varying degrees), and there are going to be times when i will be more correct than someone who disagrees with me -- but I’ve also absolutely experienced people talking over that specialized knowledge because of who I am, which is, to be clear. extremely infuriating and hurtful. like, i have cried so much about it in the last 18 months. people see my racial and cultural identity before they see anything else, which is understandable to a degree, but upsetting when it becomes the basis for how my work is judged, whether positive or negative. i don’t want you to trust me blindly because i’m abc. I want to you to trust me because you have examined my work critically and judged it to be trustworthy!

so i guess this is getting into the strongly disagree part of the answer: i’ve been speaking a lot with other diaspora fans lately, and it’s been simultaneously hugely relieving and also really saddening. relieving because oh thank god someone else Gets It, and saddening because pretty much all of us, no matter what kind of diaspo we are (north american, european, SEA, taiwanese etc), we’ve all experienced a lot of pressure in this fandom, from non-Chinese, Chinese, and other diaspora fans alike. we’re all acutely aware that we are not modao’s intended audience because being diaspora vs being “from the mainland” or whatever, are actually quite different things, but modao still feels close to home. even if it was not written FOR us it is still familiar to us.

and, because so many of us are multilingual and multicultural, we end up being the bridge between the “actual” chinese fandom and the english-speaking fandom, which is largely made up of non-chinese. (sidenote: I hate it when people say things about being “actually” any identity because it’s almost always for the exact reason you brought up: to use heritage as street cred. it’s like damn, being “actually” chinese doesn’t make ur opinions any less rank. sure you might be “actually” chinese, but do you have basic reading comprehension and literary criticism skills? no? ok then sit your ass back down) many of us are most comfortable in english! so we produce our content in english! but we also DO often have a somewhat privileged access to the culture that underlies mdzs and can explain it in a language that other non-Chinese fans can understand. so it’s not surprising that people flock to us for answers to their cultural questions. and like. if we think we know the answer, it’s natural for us to try and help. this is fandom! we’re here to have fun and find community! and it is definitely a little bit nice to have my culture treated as something desirable for once instead of just like. a weird exotic curiosity that no one really cares too deeply about. and, since a lot of us are able to do things that non-Chinese fans can’t (research in chinese, for example. ask family members for help and more information etc.) we end up just having more information to share.

I think this sometimes results in a tendency for fandom at large to put heritage/diaspo fans on pedestals and tout them as authorities (or use our conflicting viewpoints as ammunition in fandom drama) when the diaspo in question have repeatedly stated that they should not be taken as authorities on something -- and then, once you reach critical mass, your reputation starts to precede you, and I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of how a lot of diaspo act in this fandom simply because of that phenomenon. most of us know that we’re not ultimate arbiters of some kind of cultural gateway, and it can be very tiring both to be treated as such when we insist we are not, and then punished by other people who assume that we acted like we were.

i don’t think there’s a benefit in trying to keep en fandom and cn fandom totally separate, and I also think it’s unfair to consider the cn fandom the “real” fandom. i think that way lies deeper misunderstandings, gatekeeping, etc. i think we can definitely acknowledge the differences between them, but i think trying to make meaningful connections between fandom circles is really valuable! i don’t think i’ve ever made it a secret that modao is my first cmedia fandom? so it’s also the first time i’ve had reason to interact with chinese fandom, which has been super enlightening and interesting! i’ve made some super cool friends and learned a lot about how fandom works in china, how it’s similar and how it differs from the fandom i’m familiar with.

and then, kind of circling back around, there’s also a bit of a sense like, okay, so if diaspo don’t belong in the CN fandom, but we can’t talk about our own culture with some degree of confidence in EN fandom, then like..... where do we go...? if we see EN fandom doing something that contradicts our cultural knowledge, do we just. not say anything? do we not count unless we’ve already ingratiated ourselves to CN fandom? that’s probably where the core of my strong disagreement comes from, because criticism of diaspora fans as like, acting above their station so to speak, feels just like a tired continuation of the same shit we’ve had to deal with for our whole lives, being told we’re not good enough for anywhere and that we should just be quiet and keep our heads down and get over it. that our opinions, despite coming from a unique perspective with a unique relationship to the subject in question, are less valid or real than “actual” chinese people, you know? and sometimes i see that and im like lmfao just sneer at me for being jook-sing and leave then if you’re so eager to think of me as lesser.

so yeah, basically im of a few minds: true! diaspora fans don’t get to throw their weight around just because they’re diaspo. they don’t get carte blanche to act like bullies or try to shape the fandom to their own personal liking and crusade against people who disagree with them. they don’t get to pretend their heritage makes them superior to everyone else, and i think western diaspora especially need to be careful when asserting any kind of moral lens over the text to acknowledge that we have our own biases to interrogate. i am not immune.meme etc. on the other hand, this vein of criticism tends to put all diaspo in a bit of a double-bind, and also, however unintentionally, plays into the general, continuous trend of dismissing diaspora for being diaspora, and i’m really not about that. i don’t think that’s the motivation behind opinions like this, but i do think that when the basis for the argument hinges on the idea that diaspora are not “real” chinese, no matter how much I too have beef with certain diaspora fans, the argument needs to be revisited.

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

#Anonymous #asks and replies #cyan gets too deep in the weeds #race #chinese diaspora #statistically average #mine #mymeta #mdzs #ummmmm #politics #??#opinions meme #ask meme

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makerofmadness · 3 years ago

Text

sorry for flooding the tags with these but I can’t resist they’re just too good. under the cut once again.

Andy: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Felix's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...

Andy: Felix was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some. Felix: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it. Andy: Felix, you ate a chair.

Andy: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase. Melody: Andy, that's a coma. Andy: Sounds festive.

Andy: Am I going too far? Melody: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Andy: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Margret: What did you do? Andy: Nobody died. Margret: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Andy: Welcome, fellow idiots Margret: Hello, Andy Andy: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot Margret: You underestimate me

Andy: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Claus, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Andy: Andy: fsh

Andy: A theif. Claus: Thief? Andy: Theif. Claus: I before E, except after C. Andy: Thceif. Andy: No.

Andy: You saved me. I owe you my life. Peter: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

Andy: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Peter: Twelve, actually. Andy: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Peter: Yours! Andy: That's right: no one's.

Andy: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering. Andy: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

Andy: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

Felix: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

Felix: Goodnight moon. Felix: Goodnight tree. Felix: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

Melody: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

Melody: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

Melody: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Margret: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

Margret: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?' Margret: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

Claus: You wanna see how hardcore I am? Claus: *punches wall* Claus: Claus: Take me to the hospital.

Claus: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

Peter: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

Peter, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo.

Felix: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao Melody: What did you do op? Felix: A MISTAKE

Felix: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Margret: It’s not a joke. Margret: *sniffles* Margret: I’m a legit snack.

Felix, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. Claus: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Felix, with the tone of someone who is used to Claus: Outstanding. Felix: This is what I’m talking about people.

Felix: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Peter: You're like 15 years old Felix: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

Melody: How many kids do you have? Margret: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

Melody: I prevented a murder today. Claus: Really? How’d you do that? Melody: self control.

Melody: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday Peter: Wednesay Melody: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

Margret: This is a mistake Claus, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day! Margret: But not today Claus, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

Margret, tending to Peter's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Peter: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Claus: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Peter: What's that? Claus: Remorse code. Peter: I'm even angrier now.

Andy: I know you snuck out last night, Margret. Claus: Play dumb! Margret: Who's Margret? Claus: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

Andy: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Felix: I'm a knife. Melody, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

Margret: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Felix does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff? Melody: If Felix were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Felix jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff. Margret: You jump off a cliff! Melody: Gladly. Provided Felix did first.

The squad is trying to con some random guy Andy: Um, Claus, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family? Claus: We need money! Andy: You're scamming him? Claus: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him? Andy: What?! No way! Claus: Why not? We already stole Peter! Peter: Hey guys Andy: No, we didn't. Peter can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want! Peter: I wanna steal

Andy, texting Margret: Margret! Help I’m being kidnapped Peter: Where are you? Andy: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help. Margret: I’ll call Peter. Peter, answering their cell: Y’ello? Margret: Where’s Andy? They texted me that they were being kidnapped. Peter: Andy? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me- Peter: Peter: I’ll call you back. *hangs up* Peter: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD! Andy: WHO ARE YOU?!

Melody: What do you think Felix will do for a distraction? Peter: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Peter: ... or they could do that.

Andy: Listen, I can explain... Melody: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000? Felix: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000! Margret: You guys are getting paid?

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Andy: Shit. Margret: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Claus: OH MY GOD PETER FELL OFF!!!

#incorrect aaf quotes #incorrect quotes #andy's apple farm #claus you liar you've died at least once

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teeztheflag · 4 years ago

Text

─────────────────────

Ateez! Reaction to getting intimidate with you while the members/ a member are/is in the same room

warnings: some of them behave like fu*kboys/di*kheads, argument, disrespect, alcohol, strong language, suggestive, teasing, doing unholy things in a church

a/n: this turned out so dumb I am sorry anon but I finished it lmfao also they’re more like teasing? because I cannot get my head into people fu*king in front of others and not caring about it 😂

─────────────────────

k i m h o n g j o o n g

Hong Joong always has been a mixture of someone who liked to show off his girl and keep her to himself so you weren’t really shocked when he started to kiss down your exposed neck at a gathering at their mansion that night.

First you were really flustered and giggled but the sexual tension quickly arose when he took a good hold on your hips from behind breathing hotly down your cleavage.

You gulped unsure of what to think about the situation and gasped when you saw Park Seong Hwa standing at the other end of the room a glass of wine in his hand and a mischievous smile on his face.

Was he watching you?

You frowned trying to stop Hong Joong in his motions but quickly realized that he already saw the other one seemingly enjoying the scene.

You turned around and hurt took over your features.

„I am not a cheep whore Kim Hong Joong. Whatever you and Seong Hwa have going on don’t ever dare to involve me in it again.“ You hissed out trying to push away the tears and stormed away.

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p a r k s e o n g h w a

Seong Hwa‘s birthday was known to be the biggest event of the year in his hometown. As the bachelor always threw the most outrageous and glamorous parties it was his friends this time that wanted to prepare something special.

They booked you: a student with little to no money but good dancing skills on the pool.

You started your show and even if Seong Hwa first wasn’t into the idea at all while he sat down in front of you on a single chair the moment he layed his eyes on you his heart skipped a beat.

You personated everything the young rich loved; you were so beautiful he got flustered and tried to hide his reddening cheeks.

The dress on you was way too short and the show went on with the cheering from his guests that the young bachelor zoned out completely by now. He felt himself shuddering and becoming nervous when the young lady started walking to him with confident steps but a deer like gaze.

You sat down on his lap your arms casually wrapping around his shoulders and he cursed lowly at the sweet scent you gave off when you leaned down to whisper in his ear.

„Happy Birthday, Mr. Park.“

You were about to dance on him when he stopped you in your tracks and you were panicking if you did something wrong. Seong Hwa looked you into the eyes and clenched his teeth.

„I swear you don’t know what you’re doing to me right now so stop.“

„Y - you’re joking, right?“ But the desperate look in his eyes told he was more than serious about this.

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j e o n g y u n h o

You just couldn’t look away. It was always something you wondered about. And not only you... definitely your whole circle of friends.

You really didn’t want to look but your gaze just seemed to magically find its way down to Yun Ho‘s crotch where - wait a sec. Is it what you think it is?

Gosh, you had a drink too much. When you looked up you weren’t really sure anymore if this was the reality but on the other side of the room on the couch Yun Ho caught your gaze and suppressed a smirk.

Since it was embarrassing you quickly averted your gaze back to the movie hoping the two of you would just forget about the incident.

„Another round? I am getting shots!“ The others agreed and you got slightly nervous when Yun Ho came back with a tablet and handed everyone a shot.

„I am suggesting brother shots because we’ve all been so busy lately!“

„Why do you sat down next to (y/n), then? Very calculated don’t you think.“ Jong Ho eyed the latter suspiciously and Yun Ho sent him a kiss.

You were so dizzy that you were thinking about what brother shots were again when Yun Ho already linked your arms and drank. Right in the moment you remembered he already placed a cherry tasting kiss on your lips.

You couldn’t hold yourself back to lick the remaining droplets off while Yun Ho watched you eagerly.

„How does it taste?“

You frowned at him still progressing what a wasted night this was. Suddenly Yun Ho wipes away the last droplets off with his thumb and brushes it also over you bottom lip.

Your mouth opens but no words seem to leave your lips while he smiles mischievously.

„G-good... too good.“

„Ah, you want another one?“

You debate and your gaze drifts to the others around you but they seem much too intoxicated themselves to notice.

„Yes.“ Yun Ho chuckles and you close your eyes waiting for his lips to finally touch yours again. When a cold material instead meets you your eyes shoot open and you see Yun Ho laughing at you.

„I meant another shot, (y/n).“ He winks and you roll your eyes pouting at him for getting the wrong ideas...

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k a n g y e o s a n g

Yeo Sang‘s family and yours were good friends since ages and it was a must to attend the sunday‘s service together.

Like usually your families sat next to eachother again but Yeo Sang tended to sit next to his friends in the last row this day. Just when you went up to get to your parents a voice stopped you.

„(y/n)! Come sit with us!“ You turn around and see San smiling at you and also the other boys were together. You just grew close to them a while ago and you didn’t see a reason to say no.

When you realized Woo Young made place for you between him and Yeo Sang your mood quickly changed. You frowned at the boy exactly knowing what you told him a month ago when you were drunk - that you had a crush on Yeo Sang since forever...

Problem was... Yeo Sang probably has been asexual or simply ignoring you for his own sake. As you expected he didn’t even greet you but just relaxed further into the bench.

The service started and the boys next to you seemed to fall asleep one after another while the priest was really into his game. You also weren’t the biggest fan of it but you knew how to be respectful.

It was time to pray with your eyes closed when you suddenly tense up. Your eyes immediately shoot open and your gazes drifts to the site where Yeo Sang is watching you intensely.

You are frozen and not able to move a muscle while he digs his hand further into your tigh. You quickly look around to see if someone notices but stop when you hear a giggle coming from right next to you from Woo Young.

Yeo Sang starts to draw slow circles into your skin and you recognize how warm his hand feels against your exposed flesh. You don’t know how to put it but your body tells you to invite his touches rather than scold him and retrieve his hand...

When he leans down you flinch and close your eyes uttering the last words of the prayer hoping to not die at how hard your heart beats against your ribcage.

His breath tickles the hairs on your neck and you can smell a strong perfume coming from him before he whispers.

„(y/n)... you’re a little whore squirming like this in a church...“

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s o n g m i n g i

„Well, a bet is a bet.“

„Min Gi, you aren’t serious about this? I thought it was a joke! If I knew you would be a dick I wouldn’t have obliged!“

Min Gi let’s out a laugh and drags you back inside the karaoke room where your friends were partying like there’s no tomorrow.

He sat you down next to him and brought his arm over your shoulder to keep you close so you couldn’t escape. He side glanced your form and smiles to see your arms crossed and a pout adorning your face.

„Cute.“

„What?“

„Oh, nothing. Just enjoying the view.“ His eyes turn into crescents while he grins at you.

Times flies by and you know your boyfriend good enough that he wouldn’t let his price slip. So when your food arrives everyone gasps when you start to feed Min Gi like he was the king of South Korea.

„Damn, what the heck are you two doing?“

Some couldn’t control their laughter and you feel like sinking into a hole of embarrassment when Min Gi explains that you just realized how he should be really treated.

Everyone knew you were sassy and didn’t take any shit and so it has also been with your boyfriend. Min Gi loved to tease you endlessly and he knew that having you serve him in front of your friends was something you wouldn’t like. He took it as a revenge for you making him jelous the last week and a dangerous glint appears in his eyes thinking back to the evening.

„Mh, my love. I have some sauce on my chin...“

„So what?“

„Lick it away.“

„You are unbelievable!“

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c h o i s a n

San always has been an affectionate person that needed a lot of attention from his s/o. You on the other hand liked to stick to simple holding hands in public and a little peck here or there but nothing too exaggerated.

San knew you were shy but sometimes he couldn’t hold himself back to tease you openly so people would see who you belong to. No, that wasn’t the only reason he liked to show off he was just fully engulfed in your form and needed to touch whenever he could.

This caused you scolding him from time to time when he did inappropriate things in the different areas.

For example in a car. With Jong Ho and Seong Hwa in the back. You were standing at a red light when you felt San‘s hand sneaking up your thigh leaving a tickling sensation in the process. The boys were tired but you were sure they were still awake in the back.

Quickly you try to retrieve San‘s hand but his grip just strengthens and the nerve this boy has! When you glance to him he’s just sheepishly looking outside acting like he does nothing. He always messed with you inside his car but this time it was worse because there were your friends in the back!

„San!“ You whisper-yell to your boyfriend who looks up to you for a second before leaning in to your side.

„What?“

„Stop!“

„No!“ Then he leans back and when you try to forcefully pull his hand back you’re suddenly with a clap to your thigh leaving you flushed and aroused because of the mixture of pain and pleasure.

„Mh... are we already there?“ Oh, Jong Ho probably actually fell asleep.

„Five minutes.“ San ignites with a big smile to the back.

After you drop off the two San suddenly locks the car and leans over so his arm is around the lean of your seat. Out of reflex you lean back clearly intimidated by his posture but also confused what he wanted to do now.

„Did it hurt, baby?“

You shyly nod and your gaze falls to your lap where you’re playing with the hem of your skirt. San’s tongue pokes out to wetten his bottom lip and a low chuckle leaves him.

„Can you whine like that for me again when we’re home?“

„San!“

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j u n g w o o y o u n g

Jung Woo Young meant danger; that’s what everyone knew. You couldn’t deny the fact that he intrigued you beyond everything that was appropriate... meaning you fantasized about the boy way too much. Everything about him was perfect.

If you just could have a taste of his lips once in your life... It was just a little joke and daydreaming for you; nothing serious. And maybe his image also helped you to relieve some stress in lonely nights but really nothing more.

Although you didn’t expect this houseparty to be too spectacular things actually spiced up when you saw the boy and his friends entering the party. You suddenly felt more excited and thanked god you decided to join your friends this night.

You saw Woo Young quickly being accompanied by a girl and immediately your face fell. Dammit... Just stop dreaming of somebody you will never have!

„(y/n)?“ Oh, yes! You were currently playing beerpong and it was your turn. Well, if you didn’t get the boy you would at least just win this game. And you did. With a big crowd around you the other girls cheering for you because you won against the best of the boys in this game.

With a big grin and clearly tipsy by now you dragged your friend inside to dance accompanied by the others. You swayed your hips, laughed and had a lot of fun. Until you felt someone’s hand sneaking around your waist to level your rhythm up to his.

You turned around and saw no other than the Jung Woo Young eyefucking you shameless.

„What are you doing?“

„Getting revenge for my friend; but in my own way.“

You look over to Yeo Sang the one you just managed to destroy and see him winking at you from afar.

Your eyes quickly drift to Woo Young’s chest and you mumble to yourself. „This would be more like a prize...“

Woo Young is able to hear your words because instead of you he didn’t touch a single bottle tonight and because of that he decides to take things a little further. Suddenly the boy leads you out of the crowd upstairs to a secluded room where he’s quickly placing hungry kisses over your exposed collarbone.

You’re feeling like paralyzed both of the boldness and the pleasure.

Your eyes open wide when you hear a chuckle coming from the other side of the room and you frown seeing Yeo Sang sitting casually in a chair enjoying the show.

„Like you said. Your prize and our revenge.“

─────────────────────

c h o i j o n g h o

Another one of those boring business nights with Jong Ho and you were quickly deciding to roam around the big mansion you landed in this time.

Gosh, how rich was his boss again? This house looked more like a palace to you and made you again wonder; what the hell was Jong Ho even working?

You turned corner after corner and whined knowing you got lost.

„Dammit... I am so stupid!“

„Here you are. Mrs. Choi we‘re missing your presence!“

Choi san comes out of the dark with a smile on his face and a hand tugged into his pockets. He looked ravishing but you guessed he already knew that by the way he always held himself. For you, San was a friend. A good one because he helped you and your husband in more than one way.

You puffed out some air and rolled your eyes. „What could be so interesting that you would need me?“

„Tsk, always so sassy... Jong Ho is currently leading in the game you should join us.“

„How much?“

„That’s for you to find out.“ A chuckle leaves you and with quick steps you get to San and link arms so he can guide you back.

The room was dark and huge with a single poker table in the middle where only three very young and dangerously looking gentlemen were still deeply engulfed into the game. Woo Young who stands next to the table winks at you and you try to hide the uneasiness he’s causing you every time with his little flirt attempts.

Hong Joong and Yun Ho still played with Jong Ho and being the bold human you were you emerged the table with confident steps and sat down on Jong Ho‘s lap to make your presence very clear to everyone.

Jong Ho immediately maneuvered his hands so he could sneak one of his arms around your waist and adjust your position; what the hell...

You were practically sitting widespread on his right thigh now but Jong Ho only seemed to be interested in the game.

They played silently while the others were casually getting drinks from the bar. You on the other hand were busy in understanding the game and Jong Ho‘s cards. You shuffled your body and position from time to time trying to not put too much pressure on your husband‘s thigh.

After a while with a lot of struggling Jong Ho groaned out annoyed and gave your hip a squeeze only to push you down on his thigh stronger than before.

„Fuck!“

All eyes were on you immediately and you know you shouldn’t have teased him so much...

„You want to distract me or put on a show for my friends?“

You were flustered beyond everything and just looked down to hide the embarrassment. „Neither.“

„Neither what?“

„Neither, sir.“ It was only a whisper but everyone clearly heard the word coming out of your mouth.

Jong Ho smiles triumphantly at the others knowing he not only won the game when he shows his cards but also that he would teach you a lesson in a few minutes.

#ateez reactions #ateez writing #ateez smut

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redhoodieone · 4 years ago

Text

Wrong Number

Plot: The reader accidentally texts a wrong number when trying to text her best friend. But this stranger doesn’t want to stay a stranger to her and the two of them engage in a texting relationship. But what happens when the reader wants to meet this Jason Todd? Will he be everything she wants, or should they just stay texting buddies?

This is technically the 1st part in a series I want to do. If this is well received, I will continue on. However, this could also just be a one-shot.

Warnings: Language and some Sexual Content. Bold is for Y/N. Italics is Jason.

This has to be a joke. I can feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment, even though I live alone and there’s literally no one around to see me right now. But what I’m staring at is something I never thought in a million years I would ever have to see in person:

Vibrating panties.

Of course, the packaged gift is from my so-called friends who are sick and tired of me being single and horny all the time. I suppose whenever we all go out to drink or party, I could be a loner and isolate myself from the typical discussions of hook ups and current crushes.

And to get back at me, I’m stuck with a pair lacy black panties that’ll “supposedly” make me cum.

Beyond angry and shaking from humiliation, I send a very pissed off text message to my best friend and a picture of the sexual gift I’m stuck with.

Is this some kind of evil, twisted joke to get back at me?!?! What am I supposed to do with this?!?!

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest when I grip my phone tightly in my hands. A text message alert sounds surprising fast.

Sexy panties...but you’ve got the wrong number, doll.

I immediately freeze. Oh shit! I was off by 1 number when I was texting in fury at my so-called best friend.

I’m horribly embarrassed once again.

Omg! I’m so sorry!

That’s okay.

The purpose of those vibrating panties is to make you cum, in case you didn’t know.

I gasp in shock at the bluntness from this stranger!

Excuse me????

You were asking about what to do with them. In the first text message? I was just answering your question.

And you know so much about vibrating panties, right? So, what are you? Some kind of panties expert???

LOL. You would be very surprised, sweetheart.

The stranger sends me a picture along with that text message. A picture of the same product I have that they Googled online and took a snapshot of the details.

And trust me, I’m an expert and my partners never need this when they’re with me.

I feel my cheeks heat up.

Whatever. Have a good evening.

I roll my eyes. I don’t think this stranger will even text me back. Who knew texting a wrong number would cause me all this awkwardness and red cheeks.

Same to you.

I toss my phone on the couch and force myself to go heat up some leftovers for dinner, and to push the Wrong Number Stranger out of my head for the night.

————————————————————————

There’s a chill in the air as I walk through crowds of people on the sidewalk. It’s almost winter here in Gotham, and everyone’s dressed in scarfs, jackets, and pants. Pushing my way through talking strangers, I quickly rush into the coffee shop for warmth and treats.

Being the third in line, the familiar ding from my cell phone catches my attention.

Did you figure out how to use the vibrating panties yet?

My eyes widen at the text message from the Wrong Number Stranger.

For your information, no. I don’t need them. It was a stupid, mean present from my friends.

Ah, really? Presents like that are usually fun and helpful.

Meaning what??? Are you assuming I don’t have a sexual life going on right now???

Well, considering you’re so against the gift and you’re shying away from talking about the panties, I have to assume you’re single and you have been for a very long time, and you’re very easily embarrassed by anything having to do with sex.

I instantly frown at that message, until they text me a second one.

Look, that came out very harsh. I don’t personally know you, and you don’t personally know me. I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t shy away or avoid anything sexual. I guess it’s because I’m comfortable with it and I’ve been told I’m a Sex God more than a few times.

I have to exhale hard and shove my phone in my back pocket to have both hands free to carry my coffee and blueberry scone to the table to sit and eat.

Pulling my cell phone out, I see they texted me again.

I hope I didn’t scare you or make you uncomfortable. If you want me to stop texting you, then I will.

I don’t know why but my fingers begin to type back even when I know I shouldn’t keep talking to someone I don’t even know at all.

It’s okay. I don’t mind talking to you.

I feel myself smiling a little as I send another text message. What is wrong with me???

My name’s Y/N Y/LN.

My name’s Jason Todd. And I don’t mind talking to you either.

I like the name Jason. For some reason...it fits you. And it’s good to know your name since I had you saved as “Wrong Number” on my phone lmfao.

Well, Y/N is a gorgeous name. I don’t mind changing your name on my phone even if it means “Sexy Panties” is going to be Y/N now LOL.

Jason even uses the laughing crying emojis that has me laughing hard. I can see he doesn’t text like other guys, because he tries hard to spell correctly and use correct grammar.

Maybe he’s an avid reader and an English major?

And for the first time today, I smile for real.

————————————————————————

I was in the middle of cooking spaghetti for dinner when my phone binged. Picking up my phone, I see Jason texted me.

Have you ever wanted to punch somebody in the mouth and knock out all their teeth, and make them swallow their tongue?

I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

Not necessarily. Why? Are you planning to do that???

It’s fucking stupid, really. Sometimes I wonder why I’m still around this damn family.

I’m sorry to hear that. If there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m here for you.

I can see the three bubbles on my screen indicating he’s responding to me. My heart beats fast.

It’s just...my dad, I guess.

His dad?

He’s not really my dad. He’s not blood related to me. He adopted me when I was just a kid, and ever since then we’ve been at each other’s throats.

Is he mean to you?

Sometimes. But I guess I can be mean to him, too. It’s just hard to be the kind of guy he expects me to be. He’s a lot easier on my brothers. Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up and leave.

This is the first time we’ve ever gotten deep with each other. I feel my heart beating slow and fast at the same time whenever we speak. His vulnerability and sensitive side is refreshing; the egotistical and cocky side isn’t entirely him.

I’m really sorry. I don’t exactly know what to say. But from what I know about you, I wouldn’t give up. You’re not a bad guy, Jason. If you’re trying hard to be good, then that’s just as good as being good in the first place.

The three bubbles at the bottom make me nervous. I wonder if I crossed the line. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything to Jason.

You really believe that?

I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t believe it.

For some reason...you believing in me makes me feel better.

I smile a little at that. I even feel a little better knowing I’m helping him in some way.

That’s good. I’m happy to know you’re okay.

I turn my attention to turn off the stove when I see the spaghetti sauce is hot enough to pour onto the soft noodles. My mind quickly turns to Jason. Would we ever hear each other speak on the phone? Will we ever send each other pictures of ourselves? Will we ever meet in person?

I know I want to meet him. For some reason, that thought doesn’t scare me even if I know he could be a serial killer and want to kill me.

But wanting to see what he looks and sounds like makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter like crazy. Is it even normal to feel this way?

My phone beeps. While serving myself a plate of dinner, I glance down and see his text message that stops my heart.

Do you ever think we’ll meet each other?

#dc comics #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd #batman

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caphayzardous · 3 years ago

Text

I don’t feel like I cracked or broke this semester I just like started very low because of the winter depression, and the lockdownz, and then started recovering slightly, but then slowed down, and slowed down, and slowed down...

I’ve been taking so much time off, all I do these days is sleep, eat, go for a walk, and somehow it takes up a whole day. I do spend an amount of time sitting curled up on the floor thinking, ‘I should work’, and probably that nebulous amount of time is where I am losing hours. that and I sleep too much. just the bare minimum existence and I can’t find any heart to work. next week is the first of the final assignments, and then the other three are all within 10 days of that; I have only really started 1 of them, and barely. I don’t want to apply for more extensions (one of them has already been extended) because if I can’t even access ‘stress mode’ productivity NOW then I don’t think an extra week will do anything at all to help me get things done.

I’m not really worried? I’m not stressed? I’m not too sad even, but I am not too good. Very empty. Although I have also cried on like 15 out of the last 21 days (since I turned 25) lmao but there’s been... reasons for most of that. I’m very self conscious of how other people might see my treatment of uni right now, but... I do love it, and I know I did well last semester, I believe I will do well next year... but we’re at uhh let’s see 66 days into the current lockdown, and we’ve passed a total of 250 days in lockdown as a city, so like. idk. I can adapt I can make the best of a situation I can persevere etc etc etc but I think in the last few weeks the tricks and methods just don’t really cut it lmfao.

its so hard to keep working when there’s nothing else, so hard to enjoy walking when it’s the same paths, so hard to manage your days when you also have to book vaccines (which, the process here was basically ‘seagulls fighting for a single chip, but also the seagulls have class disparity’) and then be knocked out with fatigue from said vaccines, and then you also continue to get colds even in lockdown because your immune system is shit, and then you have to go and wait 3 hours in a drive thru testing site - and also, you know what, getting a period every month doesn’t fucking help, I’m going to say it, I’m going to say it. when you’re not having a great time and then every 4 weeks you do that whole charade again it doesn’t HELP, does it.

I kind of feel just like I did in year 12 lmfao, where I thought, ‘I should have dropped out sooner’ lmao and then I had to just stick it out. a bit sunk-cost fallacy you know. but it’s literally week 12, which is the LAST week for half my classes, and I’m like motherfucker I should have trusted my gut and deferred the semester way back when this lockdown dropped, the idea of completing literally every week of a class and then failing the last assignment and having to redo the course is PRETTY BAD LMAO, but I guess it happens and it’s normal. Anyway. I wont fail ‘em, I’m going to get through it. when I chose not to defer I knew that meant I’d be accepting A Bad Semester in terms of grades so like. That’s ok.

The upside is. Once I get the semester over and done with (come what may) I think I will swing up a bit because. I can better enjoy things without this looming over me. I’m already kind of ‘doing whatever I want (within restrictions lmao AKA I am Walking) irresponsibly and dismissing my uni obligations’ but it doesn’t exactly feel good. We’ll be out of lockdown soon which is it’s own terror because the city is going to just accept a new rate of death which feels pretty bad you know lmfao. but lockdown doesn’t work as well here anymore and it will only be less and less effective (people really are tired).

But you know. Might feel nice to be able to do more things. On saturday I saw my best friend for the first time since this lockdown started, since we’re both vax’d now and the like travel limit was upped to 10km a couple weeks ago. Nice that I can see 1 friend now, you know! That was something different and enjoyable! We’re getting more and more days of sun so I can probably shake of the ol’ seasonal affective, which, honestly I’d’ve already shook if it weren’t for uni & lockdown ykwim, so like. etc etc.

here’s to a happy november, soon. lol new dave gahan album in nov too so genuinely excited for that as well hahah, media is not enough to sustain me but I think it will all culminate in a nice month I guess, let me just reach it without my brain dissolving completely, please!!!!

#caphaytext

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shadow--writer · 4 years ago

Text

The Picture was a Painting of you and for a Moment I Thought you Were Here

THREE IN ONE WEEK HELL YEAH! (title but make it slowed). Watch me not post for a month lmfao. Anyways, I’m actually pretty proud of this! :D

Maeve x Lucas. What if things went differently? What if I were different? What if I weren’t me? 2.4k

TW: none!

@dela-png

She chewed her lower lip as she scrubbed at the counter. She liked him. She liked him. She liked him too much. This wasn’t platonic anymore. This wasn’t what she wanted to happen. This wasn’t what she meant to happen.

Fuck she was now even dreaming about him.

Too lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice the force she was cleaning her counter with. She bent her nail, hand flying back with a curse.

She was too lost in her own head.

Breathing out a small sigh, she buried her face in her palms. This...all this, had to stop. The dreams, the butterflies, the fact she likes him like this...it just had to stop. One of these days he was going to get hurt, and she didn’t want to delay the inevitable.

She wasn’t...she wasn’t good. She wasn’t good for him as well. He deserved someone way better. He didn’t…

She didn’t deserve him.

She fooled herself into thinking maybe something could go right for her. She was wrong. Of course she was wrong. She was going to hurt him. She knew that one of these days she was going to muck things up. She was always ruining things. Just like he always told her.

Always her fault.

She was just...a mess.

And she didn’t know if she would ever not be a mess.

Lucas didn’t want that.

Lucas didn’t want her.

And she didn’t know how she fooled herself into thinking he did.

She knew she had to do this after the dreams. Waking up alone. Seeing him, with his smiles and the...the flowers.

Fucking hell he was giving her flowers.

She unburied her face, resting her left cheek on her left palm, staring at the flowers he had given her that week sitting in the vase at the edge of the counter.

She had told him her favourite flower was a lily. Any kind of lily. So sitting in the vase was an array of oranges and yellows. Lilies with their petals such vibrant colours.

She didn’t know why he kept bringing them to her. Did he really just want to brighten her clinic? Was there another reason for it?

Was she just overthinking it? She probably was.

She groaned, looking away from the gifts.

How would she even break things off? Gently? Not...at all?

No she had to do it. Before he saw her. Before he noticed.

Her heart raced as she pressed her palm to her eye. Before he noticed what?

Hell, did she even know exactly where she stood feelings wise?

She liked him. But was it love?

No. It couldn’t be. Love was a cruel thing with sharp edges and sugary sweet words. A beautiful lie. Sugar coated with promises of something sweet, then delivering something vile.

She wasn’t in love again. She was just…

She just didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how she felt or what to do.

She only liked him. Liked him a lot more than she intended.

He was so nice to her. Was that it? Was she so starved for a connection with someone (anyone) that she just...jumped at the chance?

That must be it (it wasn’t).

She liked his company. Not him (she liked him).

Nodding to herself, she placed her hands on the counter. Yeah. She liked his company. She liked his friendship. She liked the connection (she liked him, she liked him).

She had to break things off before he realized that. She had to distance...herself.

(why?)

He got too close to her. He got scarily close to her. Without realizing, he had broken what little walls she had set up.

Soon he’d chip away to her core.

And that scared her.

She couldn’t...he wouldn’t…

She didn’t want to get hurt again.

She saw what love did to her dad. It nearly destroyed him when her mom died. She watched it tear him to pieces. She let it tear her to pieces.

Love was a weapon yielded against her.

What says he wouldn’t do the same? (he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t).

She didn’t...she didn’t like letting people in. She didn’t like how close he had gotten to her in such...a short amount of time. She didn’t like how vulnerable she felt around him. Her chest carved open and if he cared to look, he’d see her heart on display.

Any closer and he’d see how broken she was. Covering it up with a smile. Ignoring it by working.

Abandoning connections.

Because she was selfish.

She went back to cleaning, chewing on her lower lip. How would she even do this? Look him dead in the eye and tell him she didn’t want him around anymore (when she really did)?

How could she look herself in the eye and say she didn’t want him?

She only wanted his company, right? Not him? That was the conclusion she came to. It had to be true! (it wasn’t)

She was running away again.

The bell rang, sending her thoughts spiraling.

She knew his footsteps.

She knew it was him.

And her heart raced.

“Thumbelina!” He sounded so happy. Thrilled. Excited.

She forced a smile, trying to ignore the lone butterfly and the dread sinking like a stone in her gut.

“Hey Giant. What brings you in today? Get anyone else hurt?” Why was she flirting? Why was she doing this?

He had the brightest smile on his face. It sent her heart racing and caused dread to fall deeper into her skin. “Well other than my feelings, no,” he teased. “I brought you lunch.” She spotted a flower on top of the bundle. Another pink one, but she couldn’t see what it was.

“...thank you.”

“I also brought mine in case you wanted...to eat with me.” His smile grew slightly bashful, his expression brightened by hope.

Fucking hell.

She grinded her teeth together. He was making this so much harder than it should have been.

She tangled her fingers together, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She didn’t have the heart to tell him no. “...sure.”

He was making this harder for her. She didn’t know whether to thank him or strangle him.

But she was the idiot giving in to it.

He pulled up a chair to sit in, watching her clean and telling stories as she worked. She left the bundle he brought her untouched, her stomach churning too much to be able to enjoy it.

She wouldn’t even...she didn’t even deserve it.

“You haven’t eaten,” he noted. She looked back at him, her heart stuttering. She was the one looking down at him, ever so slightly. He fiddled with the bandages on his hands. “You should eat, Thumbelina.”

He shouldn’t call her that. She didn’t know the story but...she didn’t deserve to be called that.

“I’m...not hungry,” she whispered, scrubbing a stain, facing away from the small bundle with the bright and hopeful flower.

“You’ll waste away. Eat something.”

“I said I’m not hungry,” she snapped.

He flinched away. She pressed her hands to her mouth.

She didn’t...mean to snap. Why did she snap?

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I just...worry about you.”

She paused her scrubbing, voice small. “Why?”

Hurt flashed through his eyes. “Am I not allowed to worry about my friend’s wellbeing?”

Friend.

There’s that word again.

“I’m fine Lucas. I’ll be fine.” If she kept saying it maybe she’d believe it.

“Maeve-”

“I’m fine.”

“What is with you today?”

She looked away from him. Maybe if she was mean enough he’d leave her alone. Maybe if he learned how awful she was he’d go.

She didn’t deserve his kindness at all.

“I’m tired is all,” she said, trying to keep her voice curt.

“Tired? Have you been sleeping okay?”

“I’ve been sleeping…” and dreaming of him. Left restless and alone. “...fine.”

“Liar.”

She was a liar.

“I’m not lying.”

Yes she was.

“You are. Your tone goes higher when you lie.” Her head snapped up. How did he know that?! “Maeve…what is this about? We’ve been friends long enough for me to tell something is wrong. Are you...okay?”

There it was again. That word.

Friend.

He could read her.

She didn’t know if that made it easier or harder to tell him.

She chewed her lower lip, letting out a small sigh. “I’m sorry for snapping,” she said, raising her gaze to meet his. “Just been...having nightmares.”

A mix of understanding and some sort of satisfaction (of being right) swirled in his features. “Oh. Oh! I’m sorry for pushing it.”

She forced a smile, anxiety worming through her gut. “No! No. I’m really sorry for snapping at you. Wasn’t right of me, you have the right to worry. I do normally eat and talk with you.”

“Something on your mind?” he asked, shifted up to rest his arms on the counter.

Yeah. Him.

“Just...bad dreams is all.”

He didn’t push it any more, only focused on rolling the stem of the flower he brought through his index and thumb.

“Say…” she started, leaning closer to look at the flower. It had splashes of red mixed with the pink. He kept spinning it so she couldn’t tell what type of flower it was. “Why do you bring me flowers every day?”

He looked up at her as she tilted her head, hair spilling over her shoulder. He looked at the handkerchief in her hair, eyes brightening a little bit.

“Well…” he tucked the flower into her curls. “You've been on my mind a lot! I think the flowers I bring are really pretty, and they reminded me of you.” His voice had gotten soft.

He had moved closer.

Staring at her face with fluttering lashes.

She sucked in a small breath.

“Reminded you of me?” she asked softly as his hair brushed her forehead. Her heart was so loud. Like it was pleading with her.

He smelled like apples and something sweet. The undertone of an ocean breeze lingered on his lips.

Her gaze darted to his mouth, then back up to his eyes fluttering shut. He was going to kiss her. She wanted him to kiss her.

Biting her cheek, she hardened her resolve.

No.

She couldn’t. No, she couldn’t possibly…

She turned her face away from his, pushing away, as guilt whittled through her skin.

Hurt and embarrassment flooded his eyes. A flush climbed his cheeks.

Now.

She had to do it now.

Before he...before he saw.

“You should...shouldn’t see me as often,” she whispered, gripping the cloth in her hand. She looked down at her hands, the counter reflecting her face back at her. She looked miserable.

She was miserable.

But this was best for the two of them.

He didn’t want her. Not really. He didn’t want to spend time with her. No one did. She was just an idiot for thinking so. A fool who fooled herself into it.

He was only doing it out of an obligation.

He would fall out of it eventually. They all would. It was best for her to cut it all off before she got hurt again. She was better off alone anyways. That way no one would be able to hurt her.

“It’d...be better that way.”

He was silent for a moment, she kept her gaze locked on her shaking hands. The flower slowly slipped from her curls, the reminder of how close he was.

Reminder of him.

“Better?” he asked, tone low and hurt. His voice cracked over the word, her heart along with it. “Better for who?”

Better for her.

“You,” she whispered, her hands shaking. Liar. She was a liar.

She was such a fucking liar.

“Fine. If it’s better for me, then I’ll go.” His tone was angry. Furious. Hurt.

...sad.

She bit her lower lip, trying not to cry. She tasted blood, she kept biting down.

“Okay,” she replied after a moment. “You have work...anyways.”

She could feel the hurt anger radiating from his expression. She didn’t look up. “Yes. I do,” he replied.

“Then go.”

“Fine.” The word was little more than a snarl. A hurt snarl. She was a vile vile girl.

She could hear him walk away. He paused at the door, the bell not ringing. “Enjoy your lunch. Make sure you eat it.”

The coldness of his tone cut deep. The tone normally teasing was empty.

But what cut deeper was the fact he still cared about her, even as she was hurting him like this. Making him go.

Maybe she liked him.

But it was too late for that.

“Okay,” she breathed, trying to hide the choked up hurt in her voice. The tightness of her chest. Her hands tingled with warmth. She curled her fingers into her palms, hands trembling so much it hurt. “I will.”

“...see you then.” Liar.

Liar.

LIAR.

“Yeah, see you…”

liar.

The bell sang sweetly into the air as he left. She resisted the urge to tear it from her door, looking up as she blinked back tears.

The green handkerchief fell into her eyes.

The reminder stung.

She ripped it from her head, tossing it to the floor as she let out a choked sob. “Fucking shit,” she cried, pressing her palm to her eye as she started to cry. She sniffed, turning to the flower and lunch he’d brought her.

With a smile.

She gagged at the thought, crying harder now as she unwrapped the fabric with shaky fingers. Fruit slices. Bread. Some pudding and stew.

He was too nice. He was too nice to someone as awful as she was. He was too nice to her. She didn’t deserve any of his kindness.

She was just...in the wings anyways.

A side character in her own fucking story.

She looked over at the flower on the counter, picking it up to get a closer look at what he tucked into her hair.

It was a lily.

A pink lily.

Her eyes flicked back over to the untouched lunch. By it, sat a book.

Her brows furrowed as she wiped her tears away, leaning closer to the book. She picked it up, the cover worn under her fingers. It wasn’t a big book, not a long book. The cover was tattered and worn from ages of use. The title illegible from the amount of times it had been held and read.

She ran her fingers along the spine, opening the book with soft hands. She flipped through the pages, the sounds of thick paper almost a comfort. The only sound in the clinic besides her small sniffles.

Then she saw the title.

She dropped it, as if she were burned. It fell with a thump.

Thumbelina.

#the arcana #the arcana game #maeve #lucas #maevas #maeve x lucas #my writing #ahaha oof #:3

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