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cupidbedsy · 4 months ago

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𝗳𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 "𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗺𝘆" ; 𝘤𝘣98 ୨୧

➪ summary: no one knows that y/n and connor are dating, so when her team finds her crying in the arms of connor, they can't help but get angry

➪ warnings: fights, jesper/timo being a little mean (protective)

➪ word count: 3.0k

➪ file type: fic - reupload

➪ sunny's notes: the reader is not related to anyone in this fic, everyone on the team just thinks of her as a little sister! the user of 'their/our girl' is strictly platonic unless its in reference to connor. anyway, yeah, i love this fic. i can't remember if this was based on anon idea or if this was just something i wrote but i remember writing it when i had a 100 followers (the first time around) and i'm just happy that i've grown both on my old blog and on this one. i love you all of you guys and thank you for sticking around through my madness <3

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Sitting on the bus, y/n looked at her phone, biting her fingernail. She was nervous, beyond nervous if you were to ask her. She wasn’t ready for anyone to find out, they had gone two years without anyone noticing and it could be revealed within seconds.

“You okay?” Luke sat down next to her, throwing his arm on the back of her seat.

Y/n and Luke were the rookie two on the Devils, well, because they were both rookies. She was traded from the Canadiens not long after she was drafted, why? She would never know, but she couldn’t care now.

“Nothing, why would something be wrong? Do I have a look on my face? Am I shaking?”

“No, but you’re talking fast and rambling.” Luke pointed out, his eyebrow-raising.

“Oh. I promise I’m fine.”

“Bull shit.”

“Well, you know with Nico and Jack out, I’m just a little nervous about playing by myself.”

When y/n first started practicing with the team and even through her debut, she had always played with Jack or Nico. It wasn’t a conscious thing that Lindy had done but somehow she was always on the ice with one of them. When Nico got injured, she had played with Jack but when he got hurt during the Blues game she was nervous. She hadn’t played without them since and the thought of that was terrifying.

What made it worse, is that she was playing her boyfriend, the 2023 first overall pick. What made that worse, was that no one knew they were dating. Everyone had been raving, the past two first-overall picks were all playing on the ice.

“You’ll be okay, promise.”

“Y/n/n! Luke!”

The girl turned her head to see Dawson standing at the front of the bus and they realized they were all alone, “Time for practice you two.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to.” Luke dragged her off the bus, following behind Dawson.

Her phone rang as she went into the bathroom and she answered it, “Hi?”

“Hey babe.”

“Oh, hi Con!”

“Are you here yet?” Y/n nodded her head, forgetting that her boyfriend couldn’t see her, “Hello?”

“Yes, sorry. Luke and I just got off the bus.”

“I heard something about us filming a video or something, I don’t really know.”

The girl groaned, “Of course. Why can’t we-”

“Y/n/n hurry up!” Both she and Connor stopped talking at the voice, “Give me a second!”

Whoever was behind the door, she couldn’t tell, walked away and y/n sat her phone down on speaker as she got changed, the two catching up. When she was done, the two said goodbye and she walked out, startled to see Luke standing there, “Oh!”

“So, who was that?”

“Who was what?”

“The guy on your phone, dumbass.”

“Hey! Unnecessary roughness.” That had become an inside joke with her and the team. Whenever they were at practice and one of the guys accidentally shoved her a little too hard, she would always stop and call it ‘unnecessary roughness’. This happened both on and off the ice.

“I’ll take your clothes, you go find your way to the ice.” Luke grabbed y/n’s clothes that she had changed out of to the clubhouse.

‘Find your way to the ice’ was an easy task, she had been to the United Center plenty of times. However, she purposely got lost in hopes of running into Connor, which was successful. She walked down the hallways, running into staff and other Hawks players who kindly waved at her. When she took a brief look at her phone, going to text the group chat that she was lost she ran into a chest.

“Connor!”

Connor looked down at the girl and smiled, “Hi.” She gave him a tight hug, some tears slipping out.

He pulled away, his smile turning into a frown. He placed his hands on her cheeks, wiping the stray tears, “What’s wrong, baby?”

She shook her head, “Nothing. I’m just so happy to see you. I haven’t seen you in months.” Connor wrapped his arms around his girlfriend once more, practically squeezing the life out of her, “It’s okay, I promise.”

They continued to hug for a few moments and when they finally pulled apart, y/n’s tears were still on her face. She went to dry her face off when a loud voice echoed down the hallway, “Hey!”

The two turned to see Jesper and Timo standing there, faces plastered with anger as they looked at their teammate/little sister with tears falling down her face. The two walked towards them and separated them, “Guys? You okay?”

Both their faces softened at y/n’s voice and looked down at her, “Shouldn’t we be asking you two that?”

“What do you mean?” Connor spoke up, his arms crossing over his chest. Now, the Devils and Hawks were not rivals. They had no affiliation with them and only played them twice a season, once at home and over in Chicago, so really the two shouldn’t have a reason to be mad at the two talking. If anything, they should be glad that their girl was making conversation with other NHL players besides themselves, especially one who was the same age as her, but Timo and Jesper’s faces tensed up at the 18-year-old’s voice, “I don’t know Bedard why don’t you tell us why our girl is crying? What did you say to her?”

Y/n went to defend her boyfriend but the two weren’t having it. Timo dragged the girl away from their teammate and Connor as she tried to get through to the two men. None of them listened once again and she couldn’t do much but give up.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Throughout practice, y/n took her frustration out on her teammates and the puck. The boys exchanged looks with each other as practice went on, having no explanation for why she was acting like this. Lindy was confused as well and as soon as y/n ‘accidentally’ shoved Jesper into the boards, which also didn’t bode well with her since Jesper was 5’10” and weighed 175 pounds. As she ran into him, she tripped over both his and her skates, causing her to go flying to the boards as well.

She let out a yelp in pain as she landed on her arm. It wasn’t anything serious but the initial action of her landing on it caused a big enough ache through her arm for her to verbally react to it.

Connor had been watching from the stadium seats and winced when he saw it happen. He went to run down when he remembered Jesper’s words.

‘If I ever see you near her again, I wouldn’t mind getting a suspension.’

Sure it was a little harsh, but y/n was his teammate, his little sister, of course, he was going to be protective and so was everyone else on the team.

The whole team crowded around y/n, the trainer pushing their way through the hoard of hockey players to assess the girl’s injury. As soon as they went to touch her arm, she shoved them off, “I’m fine.”

The trainer nodded their head, “I understand that but I still need to-”

Y/n got up and threw her gloves on the ground, “I said I’m fine!” She skated a little ways away and started moving her arm around, “See, I’m fine. I could punch someone if I fucking wanted to.”

She continued her skate and got off the ice, heading for the locker room. She didn’t mean for her words to come out so harsh, nor did she mean to swear, but she was mad. Who were they to tell her who she could and couldn’t be around? They weren’t her keeper.

Connor met her in front of the visiting clubhouse, “Are you okay?”

She nodded her head, having cooled off from her walk and it wasn’t him that she was mad at, “I’m gonna be so trash tomorrow.”

“Hey don’t say that, y/n/n. You’re going to be great!”

“But, Nico and Jack-”

“Nico and Jack have nothing to do with your performance. Sure they might enhance it, but you control how you play. Tomorrow you are going to kick ass, as much as I don’t want you to- not like that! I want you to do well it’s just that if you do well that means-”

Y/n cut him off with a kiss, “I know what you meant, Connie.”

Connor blushed and nodded his head. The two heard footsteps coming their way and immediately split up, heading back in their respective directions.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Throwing on her suit, y/n got ready to head to the UC. She slicked her hair back into a ponytail and put her heels on. She headed down to the lobby of the hotel and waited in the corner, away from anyone else. She hadn’t talked to anyone since yesterday’s practice and she wasn’t planning on talking to anyone until she absolutely had to.

She sat at the back of the bus instead of sitting next to Luke like she always did. She put her headphones in and listened to her holiday music, she didn’t care what anyone else said, holiday music made her happy. She could hear the quiet conversations around her through her headphones even though she tried to drown them out.

Placing her headphones back into her pocket and stood up ready to get off the bus. She was stopped as soon as she was about to get off the bus by Vitek, who handed her a cup of coffee. Vitek was one of the players that she could never be mad at, he was adorable and no one could be mad at him.

“Thanks, V.” She gave him a grateful smile and he returned one right back, letting her get off the bus. She ignored the cameras flashing as she walked to the clubhouse, following whoever had gotten off the bus in front of her.

The team all went through their pregame rituals, getting ready for the game. No one attempted to talk to y/n, mostly because she was always nervous before games and any slight conversation made her even more nervous.

During pregame, as they were practicing, everyone could tell something was off. The Devils knew something was off, Lindy knew something was off, the Hawks knew something was off, and even the fans knew something was off. They chalked it up to just the absence of Nico and the recent absence of Jack, they had lost their two-star players without much time apart.

Y/n stood between Dawson and Nathan during the National Anthem, making eye contact with Connor since he was ironically directly across from her. They slowly got through warmups and soon it was time for the game to start.

Having faith, and assuming that she had a complete reset and she was back to normal, Lindy sent her out for the beginning face-off. She wanted to protest but she knew she couldn’t. She skated toward center ice and faced her boyfriend. The two sighed before bending down into position. Let’s just say, it was not a good start for the Devils.

It was almost two minutes into the game and Taylor Hall had scored already. Y/n wasn’t on the ice when it happened, having changed lines just beforehand. She sighed amongst the others on the benches and leaned over and whispered into Toffoli's ear, “Can you get a penalty for checking your own teammate?”

Toffoli laughed, causing her to let one out as well. The bench looked at each with smiles on their faces, glad to see their girl smiling once again.

Over halfway into the period and y/n had done jack-shit. No goals, no assists, no nothing. It was like she was invisible out there, well not really. She had gotten a few hits which was no big deal but normally, those wouldn’t have happened. She would have dodged them completely or softened the blow a little bit, but she just let them happen.

When Dawson scored his first goal of the season she was on the ice with him. She skated fast and hugged him, so excited for him. That was the only other time she was happy during that period. Every other time she came off the ice she was so close to chucking her stick into a board or the bench itself, she was pissed off. She wanted to prove something to everyone and herself that she could do something without Nico or Jack, and right now, the only ones she was proving right were the ones who said she was trash from the start.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

During the first intermission, the Devils walked back somewhat happy, they were leading 2-1, Dawson had his first goal and so did Max Willman. Lindy spoke briefly about the first period and kept making little jabs towards y/n. None that were hurtful but ones that tried to ignite a spark in her for a second.

That didn’t happen at all. The second period was worse than the last if that was even possible. Everyone could tell she was frustrated. Connor noticed it the most when she was on the ice with him. Her whole body was more tense, her shot was weak and floppy, and her passing was not on point.

The second intermission was when Lindy stormed into the clubhouse, “What was that, y/l/n?!”

The team snapped their heads up at their coach, they hadn’t heard him so mad at y/n before.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

“Damn right, it won’t happen again. You’re playing like shit.”

“Jeez, I know I suck, but you don’t have to frame it that way.” Y/n’s eyes watered up.

Lindy knew she could play better, he was determined to make it that way, “You have to man up. You think Hischier gets off all high and dry when he plays like you are? You think Hughes is going to sit on his ass after a game when he did nothing all game? No.”

She looked at the team, looking for some support but she knew she didn’t deserve it, “You have got to put your personal issues aside, this team is what matters now. I don’t care who’s hanging out with who, who’s kissing who, who’s fighting who, I don’t care. You all get your heads in the game and get out there and play some hockey.”

The team was speechless, “Do you hear me?”

“Yes, coach/sir.”

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Coming back for the third period, y/n was nervous, more nervous than before. Yet it seemed like Lindy’s speech worked.

4:35 into the third period, y/n scored. John assisted and the team was elated for the girl. They patted her head and hugged her before she skated off to high-five the bench. And from the other side of the ice, even though his opponent just scored, Connor held a smile on his face, he was proud of his girl.

Although, that wasn’t enough for y/n. If she was going to prove herself, she was going to prove herself. The team briefly faltered when Donato got his goal but right before the game ended, y/n got herself another goal, unassisted this time.

Everyone was proud of her, especially Nico who was watching from home and Jack would be too when he was able to watch it, not knowing where he was at this moment. After the game everyone got changed back into their suits, doing some post-game interviews beforehand.

They wanted to celebrate but they weren’t going to go without y/n. They were going to go out for dinner but she declined nicely, saying she had other plans. The team looked confused as they stood outside talking with one another, but when someone all of a sudden came behind their teammate and picked her up and spun her around, the realization grew on their faces, Jesper and Timo becoming embarrassed.

They let the two have their moment for a little bit before someone cleared his throat, Luke.

“Yes, Lukas?”

“Ooo, full name bud.”

Luke glared at everyone, “Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?”

“I think they’re more than friends.” Dawson snickered with Nathan as they stood behind everyone else.

“Right, guys this is Connor, Connor this is the team.”

“You watch yourself, Bedard.”

“Okay, we’re leaving, bye everyone!”

The two ran off before anyone could say anything else. They got into Connor’s car and drove to their new favorite restaurant, Culver’s.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

•❅ 《 𝘉𝘖𝘕𝘜𝘚 𝘚𝘊𝘌𝘕𝘌 》 ❅•

“I don’t want to go.”

“I know, sweetheart, but think of it this way. The 22 I’m in Columbus, you’re in Detroit. I’ll drive there after the game and we can spend some of Thursday together before our games on Friday. And then about a month later we can visit for Christmas.”

“You’re gonna be so exhausted Connie.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Connor gave y/n a kiss on the forehead, before kissing her cheek and her nose. She leaned in to kiss him on his lips yet was interrupted by a loud voice, “Y/n! You’re gonna miss our flight!”

She rolled her eyes, “How do they always manage to interrupt us?”

Connor shrugs and smiles, “Go on.”

“But would me missing the flight really be a bad thing?”

“Y/n!!”

“I’m coming, jeez!”

Connor kissed her and ushered her off, “Love you!”

“Love you too!”

𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗚𝗢 𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗛𝗔𝗪𝗞𝗦 𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜��𝗧 ୨୧

@toasttt11 @chiblackhawks @pucks-goals-penalties @dancerbailey3 @petite-potato4 @absolutelyhugh3s @dyslecticdutchman

#: ̗̀➛ sunny’s writing 📓 !#: ̗̀➛ ❝ [ fics ] ❞#: ̗̀➛ ❝ [ connor bedard ] ❞#nhl #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl hockey #hockey #hockey fic #hockey imagine #connor bedard #cb98 #connor bedard imagine #connor bedard fic #connor bedard x reader #nhl blackhawks #chicago blackhawks

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tanix-dragon · 6 months ago

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To Be the Dragon: Living as Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii

For many years now (about 6!), I've been in the alterhuman community, thinking about how I want to write about my dragon kintype. I’ve never written much, though, despite being fairly comfortable doing so. This isn’t out of lack of things to talk about—it’s more because I have such a basic run-of-the-mill spiritual dragon kintype (in my mind) that I wasn’t sure that writing about it would do anything for anyone. Besides, it’s all so normal to me. It’s hard to write about your life when it feels so utterly mundane that to pick each piece out of it feels ridiculous. I have a dozen concepts for essays in my Tumblr drafts, but in the end, I’ve just decided to write something big. I’m going to go through it all, all I can think of, because I don’t know if I can pull it apart enough to write about each piece separately. It’s all so intertwined that it’s just easier to write a big one.

Strap in. This is going to take awhile. I’m a wordy bastard and despite how little I actually go into it, I do know a lot about this kintype.

Awakening

This is where most people start, and I’m sorry to disappoint; this is a short one. When I was a kid, I loved dinosaurs, and when I discovered dragons, and I mean really discovered them, realized how cool they are, I felt some kind of deep resonance. As a kid, I figured that it was just because they were the coolest thing of all time. In reality, this awakened phantom limbs (I think? Or just strengthened them. I don’t really remember very well; “I” as I’m known didn’t quite exist at the time, system stuff, you understand) and set me on a path of self-discovery and overwhelming draconity. I was known as the “crazy dragon kid” at school, even for years after I stopped talking about them, and I’ve always been very recognizable, even at a distance, even for people that barely know me, because I “move differently.” A friend once told me that I move like someone put a lizard or a bird in a human’s body, that I have a dragon’s walk cycle, that I have the wrong animation set for my skeleton. That was a very nice thing to be told.

I don’t know. I spent a lot of years with constant phantom limbs and sort of figured that they were normal, more or less? I didn’t think about them. They were just a part of me. Only once I tripped over a dragonkin’s blog completely accidentally in early 2018 did I start putting pieces together, and then it hit me like lightning: oh. I’m a dragon. I’m actually a dragon. And I’m not alone. I started my Tumblr kin blog and that was that. No questioning, no kinsidering, no “am I really?”--I had known that the thing was dragon, but I hadn’t known how it applied to me, and the second I did, I knew it was right. I am a dragon, and that was that.

I’d wondered off and on for a while if someone could have a past life as a dragon, but had never mentioned it to anyone (at least as far as I remember), because I was worried about the response I’d get. Once I realized that I was otherkin, though, I embraced that wholeheartedly: I had been a dragon, and that had rolled over so powerfully that I still am a dragon. It fits, and I love it.

What’s it like?

“What’s it like being a dragon?” my non-kin friends ask me sometimes. It’s kind of almost exactly the same as being not a dragon, except my mental image of myself is a big blue dragon instead of a human. Chronic pain flaring up? Dragon curled up and complaining about it. OCD lashing out? Dragon resting head against the wall with shut eyes and half-bared teeth. Someone annoying me? Dragon with exposed teeth and fangs all puffed up to try to make them back down.

My dragon body maps onto my human body to produce feeling like an anthro dragon most of the time, even though my dragonself isn’t even bipedal. It’s the happy medium my brain can settle on between what I feel I should be and my physical reality, although, again, mentally, most of the time when I imagine myself, I’m as I should be. In headspace where my headmates can see me, I’m quadrupedal unless I’m doing something that requires me to be bipedal. (Our headspace is pretty flexible, don’t worry about it.) All of this evens out to me moving kind of oddly—toss in how stiff and sore I am all the time (it’s some kind of unknown but disabling condition, hooray), and you get someone who moves very oddly. I turn my head like there’s significantly more weight to it than there should be, I visibly squeeze through spaces that are plenty big enough for me as if trying to accommodate great wings, I walk with a slight adjustment to my hips to compensate for a heavy tail, and I lift my shoulders to flare or gesture with my wings. I have slight head movements that correspond to how I move my ear fins, expressions that call for me to bare my teeth, gestures that only make sense with wings, tail, and claws, and a dozen other little things I probably don’t even notice that I do.

I don’t get a lot of species dysphoria anymore. I’d prefer to be able to switch in and out of dragon form (ideally with that anthro dragon that my brain has invented for me as an option too! I do love it as a middle ground), but I can make do as-is. I spent untold centuries as a dragon, I can handle some decades as a human. I’m here now, and I have a different life to live, and frankly, I love humans. I love the things they do, the cultures they have, the things they make, the ways they act, and I feel really lucky that I get to be in one of those human cultures and witness others. I have a minor in anthropology—I promise I’m not about to become a misanthrope anytime soon. I believe that humans are inherently creatures like any other, and can be driven to great good or great evil. I don’t believe that’s a reason to hate them, and besides, some part of me identifies as human as well as my kintypes. Not everyone does, but I do, and it’s comfortable for me.

I do have a few draconic instincts I have to juggle, but none are terribly maladaptive or troublesome. I know exactly how to breathe fire and want to when angry or struggling to keep a fire going in winter, and I know that there’s something in my chest and something else in my throat that are missing, structures that allow firebreathing, but I have phantoms and can mimic it okay, so I can huff and puff and burn nothing down. I have a prey drive that kicks in hard watching squirrels or, worse, rabbits out of my window, but I don’t ever actually chase anything (not that my slow ass could catch anything even if I did). I want to sharpen my claws, curl up in the sun, growl and threat-display with my wings (and do flare my phantoms when I’m in the car and another vehicle does something I don’t like), and a bunch of other small things I can’t think of right now. Again, it doesn’t bother me—it’s just affirmations of my draconity, and most are subtle enough that I can do them in front of people and they don’t notice, or, if they do, they don’t think much of it.

What’s it like? What a question. What else do I say? Sometimes my chronic back pain reaches into my rhomboid muscles, which is where my phantom wings connect, so it registers as wing pain, I guess. That doesn’t usually happen, but it can. I walk on my toes a lot because I naturally want to move digitigrade. Shocker, I know. I don’t know—what’s it like being a dragon? What’s it like being human, or anything else? What’s it like to be who and what you are?

The Dragon Driik’lor

Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii. Tanix of Fire and Breath. What a name—and one I have known parts of for a long, long time. As a kid, I’d sign off messages and emails as Tanadin of Fire and Air. When choosing a name for myself when I came out as trans (Tanix), I knew that I wanted something with the nickname ‘Tan’ still, derived originally from my username “Tanadin,” because it felt right. Was my name truly Tanix? I don’t know. It feels right, or at least, right enough. I swapped out “air” for “breath” because Tanix lei Dramon ak Voron didn’t feel as right. I guess the question is—who is, or was, this Tanix, and what language is that?

(I'll occasionally be referring to my dragonself as Tanix and myself as… me, I guess. I know, I’m sorry, that’s confusing, but that’s driiv name as far as I know, and calling driik anything else feels weird.)

Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii was a mature adult dragon of a sapient and extremely intelligent species with its own language. My noemata have provided me with pieces of this language—individual words and ideas on its structure, some suffixes, some sounds and pieces of what a sentence should sound like. A few letters, even, for the written version. For the past fourteen or so years, I have worked on uncovering as much of this language (that, as a kid, I called Dranonic, and I haven’t changed that) as I can, and have made up much of the rest. I will never reconstruct an entire language from noemata alone, and I know that, so I just do what doesn’t feel wrong and change things if I get an inkling that I’m off somewhere.

Tanix’s species had some extremely complex social rules and dances that driit largely didn’t do much with. Dragons could be either solitary or live in clans, and driit was pretty solitary. Driit was also fucking annoying. Sorry, but it’s true—Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii was a pretentious, self-centered, prideful, overconfident bastard that had other dragons going “oh gods here comes Tanix again, just smile and wave.” Driit was a bulky, powerful, physically imposing dragon, and driit knew it. (In this human life, my family is actually fairly dense and stout despite being quite tall, so that’s free species euphoria.) As far as I can tell, given driiv five horns and larger stature, driit was female. (I talk about horn count and dragon gender more in my essay Counting Horns and Making Assumptions, or, Draconic Age and Gender, if you’re interested.) However, pronouns in Dranonic are based on age category, not gender, so the fact that Tanix and driiv mate have different pronouns is because of a difference in age, not gender.

Oh, Selkhenar. Selkhenar of the Darkened Swamp. I wish I knew more about you. Muut seems to be the only dragon that Tanix wasn’t a huge bitch to—and let me tell you something. Driit was vain as fuck. My dragon instincts know what driit did and did not find attractive in a dragon, and Selkhenar was considered, in that society, to be a kind of dumpy little green and black swamp beast with a weirdly long face, short ass legs, and kind of weird proportions.

And driit loved muut more than anything. Every time I think about Selkhenar, I get holdover fuzzies and butterflies from my time as the dragon the first go-around, and man, driit was gone for this swamp dragon. I have flashes of memory of much more impressive-looking dragons trying to woo driik and getting passed up, but accidentally tripping over Selkhenar in the swamp just beyond the edge of driiv territory was apparently what driik needed.

They had at least one clutch of eggs together. I remember guarding them ferociously, even growling at Selkhenar once before recognizing muuk. I remember them hatching into the cutest little whelplings of all time, and I remember them being a mix of blue and green and red and black. I remember teaching them to fly, throwing them over the ledge outside of the cave and off the cliff. Selkhenar was below, ready to catch if they didn’t figure it out, but still, uh, not the strategy I would recommend, necessarily. I remember hunting for them, both land animals and skimming the lake outside of our cave, down in the evergreens at the base of the mountain, for fish, even though… Selkhenar was a water dragon and therefore better suited to fishing…. I think it was a pride thing. Tanix was a ferociously prideful dragon and I suspect driit was like NO, MY LOVE, I WILL HUNT FOR YOU, YOU TINY THING… YOU GUARD THE BABIES WHILE I PROVIDE FOR YOU…. and then proceeded to accidentally driik’lor (Dranonic for him/her/themself) into the water. Repeatedly. Over and over. I have very firm noemata of hunting fish, eating fish, and fucking up while hunting fish and fouling my wings and falling into the lake. I was an okay swimmer and was mostly just glad that no one saw, but like… come on. Let the swamp dragon do it. I mean, I’m sure muut did, but I don’t have memories of that.

What’d This Dragon Look Like, Anyway?

Good question! That’s something I have the firmest grasp on. I’ve been drawing this dragon for as long as I’ve been super aware of dragons, and driit has been through a lot of iterations, but I think I’m very close.

Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii was approximately fifty feet long from nose to tailtip. Driit was a deep, intense blue (take a peek at any art I’ve ever done of driik/myself) with bright red stripes along driiv midline—basically, along the spine, down the tail, and along the face. The stripes also appeared on driiv legs and maybe wings, but I’m not sure about that one. Driit had five horns that were either darker blue or slightly purple that curved slightly back and were slightly offset from one another, with each set being slightly smaller than the last and a bit further back, with the single horn being the smallest and furthest back. Driit also had a single nose spike that matched the horns. Driit had big (kind of disproportionately big) ear fins, a more recent discovery of mine and out of date on most of my art, used for communication and showing of mood, mostly. Driiv “hands” had three fingers and a thumb, driiv back feet had three toes and a dewclaw, and driiv wings had four “fingers” with membrane stretched between them and a fifth “finger” that seemed to serve little to no purpose. This wing membrane connected pretty low down on the body (near or on the tail), providing a large area for lift. I believe this membrane was a lighter color than the scales around it, and I have the distinct feeling that I could flush blood into it to make it change color—red, I think? Maybe it was just some markings that could appear. I’m not sure.

Along driiv back were spikes or spines, of a similar color to the horns, lined up perfectly with the stripes. I know that driit had some kind of dangerous weapon on the dip of driiv tail, and I know that this thing had three sharp points, but its exact shape and color, I’m less sure on. I know that the tail itself was fairly flexible, especially near the tip, but was most assuredly a powerful weapon when needed. Driiv belly was lightly plated, providing protection for the vital organs. Driit also, of course, had sharp teeth and a forked tongue, although two of driiv teeth were elongated and poked slightly out of the mouth when shut, which I tend to call driiv fangs.

The Binding

Back in August of 2023, I tripped over an image that made dragonbrain click on and triggered a fear response as well as a flood of noemata. The post I wrote at the time of that discovery is here, but I’ll write it out in a more comprehensible format, both for your convenience and so that I have a more organized version in general.

Some kind of humanoid species (not humans) on my planet found and trapped me when I was quite young, and dragged me to a structure not dissimilar to the image I found, not far from or in one of their cities. My limbs and jaws were chained so that I couldn’t fight or escape, and I so clearly remember feeling my claws and scales scrape over that rough, coarse stone, and the sound of the chains dragging across it. Some of the humanoids rode other dragons, who were clearly enslaved and, in many ways, broken. They had no choice but to obey, or face punishment. Their eyes were dull and they passed over me without registering me, because to acknowledge that such a young dragon was facing their same fate was, I imagine, too painful.

For the record, I was so young that I thought I might be able to carry one of these humanoids, maybe, and not all of my red markings had come in yet. I was very young.

For some reason or another—maybe I was misbehaving, maybe this was protocol with all new dragons, I don’t know—they dragged me to a dungeon underneath a great arena where they made some dragons that they figured they could never turn into mounts fight for their amusement. I was chained up down there, fairly tightly, barely fed and barely able to move. There were a couple of other dragons down there with me, in the dark and the damp, curled up on those horrible stone bricks just like I was. I could barely see them, it was so dark, but they could see me, their eyes more adjusted due to years or decades down here.

My primary companion was a dull red dragon, an adult male, as far as I can figure. I don’t remember muuv name, but it started with an Ez- or an El- with a z in there somewhere, and ended in -iel or something along those lines. Elaziel, Ezkhaliel, Ezkerial, Elzariel? I don’t remember. I wish I did. I remember muut being as reassuring as muut could be, trying to do muuv best for this poor scared youngling. Muut was beaten and broken but incapable of either fighting or being a mount—one or more of muuv limbs were gone or broken and healed incorrectly. Muut couldn’t fly and I think muut struggled to walk. I don’t know why the humanoids kept muut alive, but I do know that I reinvigorated muuk, and muut decided to do whatever muut could to get me out.

I don’t remember what happened, really. All I know is that, at some point, there was an escape, and multiple dragons made it out, or at least tried to. I remember the red dragon shouting “Mor anor axid, mor anor axid! Mor anor axid veran!”, which is Dranonic for “Let them fly, let them fly! Let them fly away!” with “anor” being distinctly plural—you would never call a single dragon “anor,” indicating that there were multiple dragons trying to get away. I know muut wasn’t among them—muut would never make it out, and I’m sure that the humanoids killed him after. I never looked back. I never saw.

I know that there was a light green dragon involved in all that, a female, I think. Muut was chained down there with myself and the red dragon, and maybe others. Maybe muut was the other one in “anor.” I don’t know. I don’t remember much about muut.

I do remember part of the escape—the red dragon’s shouted pleas, the hesitation of the dragon mounts, the sting of the dragonbone arrows fired from the humanoids that pierced my scales (because of course they harvested the bodies of their spent slaves, why wouldn’t they, the bastards), the screaming of my underused wing muscles as I tore out of that place and never looked back, not once.

I never returned. Not even as an adult, not even once my fifth horn came in. I flew far, far away, and never drew closer again. I never wanted to see that place, never wanted to fear it, never wanted to risk it. My two fears as a dragon were that place and the ocean, and the second, I feel, had some kind of horrible dragon-slaughtering beast in it that was a long, instinctive, genetic terror. That horrible place beat it out by miles.

A Couple Other Memories

I remember other things, too, not just that whole… sequence, or what I talked about before. I know that there were some kind of “dragon mimics” out there, some kind of insectoid things that looked like dragons at a distance but revealed what they were close up. They’d either do displays intended to anger a dragon and draw them close, or courtship displays to interest a dragon. Either way, once a dragon was close enough for the mimic to strike, it was too late. A lot of insectoid dragon designs set off my dragonbrain’s “mimic alarm,” and it’s kind of interesting to play with and see what triggers it and what doesn’t. I’m sure I had personal experience with them—I have too clear of a mental image of one trying to lure me in for anything else—but I don’t know the specifics.

One of the memories that I’ve had, crystal clear, for a long time, is my death. I was falling from a great height, wings too damaged to hold me, uselessly streaming behind me as I fell. Selkhenar flew down with me in a panic, knowing muut could never catch me (I was far bigger than muuk), trying to talk me into getting my wings sorted out and at least slowing my fall or something. I remember there being wounds all over me—I’d been losing some great, horrible battle—and peering at Selkhenar, thinking it was very sweet of muuk to be so worried about me but I was clearly lost, muut needed to get out of here—and then a sharp pain at the base of my skull, where it connects to my spine, and nothing. I feel like it was some sort of projectile, well-aimed, that took me out instantly.

I’m still afraid of heights without my wings.

Wrap-Up

There’s more, I’m sure. More specific essays that I feel like I can write now that I’ve gotten most of it down. I could write an essay on draconic courtship, or what little I know of rearing offspring, or whatever else comes to mind. For now, though—that’s most of it. That’s The Everything. I’ve been meaning to put this together for a long time, and now I have, and I hope it’s helpful to someone—either in understanding me, or in understanding yourself. I know that, when you’re questioning something, reading about someone else’s experiences helps a lot. I’ve never felt like talking about my dragon kintype was ever going to be terribly helpful in that regard—after all, there’s a dozen other similar essays out there—but I decided, well, it’s not for other people. It’s for me. And no one’s written four thousand words detailing my kintype before.

That’s the thing about writing like this. It’s for you, and if it helps someone else, that’s just a bonus. Write what will help you, what will let you figure yourself out and document it so that, if it changes, you can pinpoint when that was and track your own growth and change. I wonder what, in a few years, will be inaccurate in this essay? I wonder what I will add, what I will change, in a theoretical future version?

I guess we’ll find out together. Thanks for reading.

#tans journals #otherkin #otherkind #dragonkin #alterhuman

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toots-senpai · 3 years ago

Text

Twitter's better than this job.

Author: @toots-senpai

Fandom: five night's at freddy's/fnaf

Pairing: freddy x afab reader x monty

Rating: R 18+

Word Count:3.5k

Authors Note: so reader is dumb but it’s fine. we’re in a horror universe also i havent edited this i am finishing this in therapy cause i have a bunch of fica in my drafts lmao. enjoy! think the layout may have turned weird, sorry.

Warnings: robot/monster fucking!, creampie, fingering/fingersucking, dp, exhibitionism?

♡ MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI!!!YOU WILL BE BLOCKED :) ♡

It's a friday night in the pizzaplex, the animatronics are on complete free roam and tonight it seems like all the security guards are being lazy tonight in the break room. Being a worker for the pizzaplex does have it's perks, but being a mechanic means a good pay and just overall working here at the pizzaplex gives you nice co-workers and actual food for the workers besides their pizza. The elevator takes you down to parts and service with the animatronics and you know you have to do their small usual check up before you get your nightly check off paper. It's usually when you come in a little late and have to change into your uniform at work that the other mechanics schedule lines up with yours, slipping in the elevator besides you and the animatronics before you get to even start doing their usual tests or get down to the lower level for that matter. Besides him accidentally pushing you when you got in because you weren’t payi g attention to them slipping in the elevator, a cocky laugh hiding underneath his ego probably.

"You know Y/n.. you make quite enough money on Twitter to be working this job." The silence is the elevator is now deafening and all you do is pop your gum back at them with a scowl as per usual and get the animatronic tasks done before the elevator finally get to the normal level and you can grab the paper for all the other handling for the night. His comment does not go un noticed by the animatronics but no one addresses his comment besides Monty you verbally scoffed at the worker. When the elevator hits the floor you’re done with your animatronic check in and now you’re finally able to grab the list. Chica waa right around the corner, bubbly and messy of pizza and garbage already.. you figure you'll clean her later before the end of your ship so the morning people don’t have to deal with the ‘scary pizza chicken’. You have lights to work on tonight, not just the animatronics. It's around 3 by the time you're almost done. At least a fourth of the pizzaplex's lights haven't been recorded before the long weekend and now the last fourth of it is to check the animatronics rooms and platforms. Everyone is gone from their rooms and Freddy's mirror lights and the convenience counter are the only thing remotely wrong in that area. You had begun to re-put back in the lights when the door slides open beside you. Freddy standing from outside of the door gave you a bit more light that you needed and Freddy shakes his head at the darkness of his room.

"You are hurting your eyes superstar! You must have lights on when preforming tasks!" He says behind you as he turned on the overhead lights. You squint from him turning them on, all this light work had your eyes sensitive and squinting did no good at protecting your sensitive eyes. You didn't mean to start crying of course but regardless, painful tears slipped from your eyes. You wish Freddy wasn't as observant as he is but wishes don't come true anyway, Freddy's glance locks with your tears and the bear is now worried. Profoundly apologizing for coming in the room and whatever else he's attempting to apologize for but you just laugh at him.

"Freddy, I've been working on the lights all night.. my eyes are just sensitive." You assure him with a small smile wiping your eyes. He dims the lights behind you and you go back to his vanity lights.

"There was only one out." He states softly as he sits down on his couch.

"Yes... but the superstar needs his lights yes?" You joke at him which causes him to look away with his brows furrowed. He's probably watching Monty pointlessly pace in the hall from his semi closed curtains but it isn't something for you to pay attention too. Not when you're putting lights in a high voltage mirror. It's quiet in the room besides Monty's steps outside and the soft turning of lightbulbs. Freddy's favorite thing to do is probably break the silence.

"Y/n what do you do outside the pizzeria?"

"What do you mean by that."

"Twitter." He states and now it's your turn to furrow your brows at him before he asks what Twitter even is. You sigh and tell him about the social platform and you can probably now comfirm that Freddy's favorite thing to do is break the ice around him, no matter how thin it is. "How do you make money on Twitter?" He asks and all you do is turn around in his spinny chair and look at him, lips in a pout.

"You want the truth or you want the sugar?" You ask and he shrugs.

"Both-"

"No Freddy, do you want to know what I actually do on twitter or do you want it simplified?" He takes a second to process.

"The truth-"

"Porn. Accounting..."You trail off finishing the last light bulb.

"Porn?"

"Yes Freddy."

"But if you make so much doing that, why work at the pizzaplex?"

"Freddy, I don't mean this harshly but I'm not too comfortable talking to you about my sex life."

"But you brung it up?"

"You asked?"

"So answer my questions." He states before Monty slides in beside you two, jaw slack and if you looked hard enough at him he’s panting with excitement but you’re just trying not to shock your finger.

"PORN?" He yells quite loudly to you respond with being startled and letting your head drop on the table with a sigh.

"Monty, before you even get started on your questions i'm just going to let you know I don't do it anymore. That’s why I work at the pizzaplex." You say, standing up but Monty blocks your way.

"You mean to tell me, you could be making money doing porn, and you're working this shitty job instead?"

"I actually very much like this job!"

"You're making less money than the security guards are!"

"Yeah, I have no idea why you would willingly chose it over tons of money, aren't you complaining about not paying your bills-"

"Listen you two, to be quite honest, I don't get off on the thought of random guys fondling me for money-"

"Then just do it your-"

"No shit Monty, but people don't pay that much for shit they do on the daily." You cut them off walking past Monty finally, the door sliding shut behind you. You start walking to check the convenience counter and restock the toy counter when Monty scares you from behind with a tap on your shoulder.

"So then do it with someone you trust."

"What like my fucking brother Monty? I don't have guy friends or anyone willing to-"

"I would-"

"Legitimately, how? You don't have a-" You didn't realize he's corned you until you look up at your surroundings. The back if your knees are pressed against the side stage and a cold animatronic hand runs down your clothed side, finger locking in your belt loops and tugging the tight bands away from your hips with a small snap of your waistband.

He’s pulling at the belt loop again. Your belt was attached and you always kept your belt tight so your pants don't ride down but your belt does nothing against his mechanic strength but tighten against your hips. He easily pulls the side of your pants open to look down at the color of your panties before you shove the animatronic back with all of your effort. He moves by himself mostly though watching as you complain at him.

"I'm not posting you on Twitter!"

"I don't have to show my face-" He trails off behind you as you walk away to the reward room.

"People will know you’re an animatronic!"

"Not in dim lighting, look just like a toy..." Freddy startles you once you're in. You sigh in annoyance rolling your eyes.

"I'm not stupid y'know. I'm not going to criminalize myself for letting either of you fuck me. Or for that matter for the thought of society, be fucked by an animatronic."

"But money."

They both said at the same time and you grunted. "I have a job to do!" Before walking away. The daycare usually is your space of comfort but the lights are already turned off in the daycare and honestly Moon will probably go away in the morning, right now you want nothing to do with him or any other animatronic. Instead you try to focus your attention on Chica thinking about cleaning her but instead you're met with the metal Freddy's chestplate.

"I think incorporating a robot hand or hands.. into your Twitter video will prove for more views and money!"

"Freddy, I can't risk losing this job because of money-"

"All you've eaten is Fazbear corporate junkfood and you get paid by the hour. If you WANT to live the material life, you have to take risks. To be a superstar, you must be surprising!" Freddy frowns.

"No."

"Why?"

“Does it look like I want to live a material life Freddy? I just want stability, proper tax work that’s halfway done….” Eyes locked up with Freddy's reminds you that compared to Monty he doesn't corner you, instead he has a reasonable distance between you two but instead of the 'i push all of my emotions away' Monty, Freddy stands in front of you with eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed. He doesn't want to push you but maybe the other mechanic had a point. Maybe it's a dominant trait of his to make sure your well fed and well payed but he isn't going to back down from this, not unless the security doors open and you walk out besides him or he gets.. what he wants honestly. Monty walks in to the lobby and his eyes lock on you two. Their gaze is sharp and Monty's steps towards you and the sound is too much like a ticking time bomb that honestly the tension might make you explode. Instead you just reach your arms up and let the doors open in front of you to slip into the main floor animatronics at your tail.

Honestly this job is more of a decoy per say, of course your family found out about your side job and actually they had the audacity to say you were making too much money. Last thanksgiving was a very interesting argument to say the least. So interesting that instead of looking at them you just kept walking, going to the bathroom where you figured they wouldn’t follow you while the voices of your family repeat in your head. I mean, they did stay only to just the outside but they still gave you your privacy giving you the time to think over before your head exploded.

When your family brought it up they made sure to probably use the most overdramatized versions of excuses to get you from posting on the internet, even telling you that your sick grandmother will fall and die at the sight of it but you know she isn’t stupid and probably has already seen it. Later that night she winked at you while she was getting put into the family van and all you could is sigh, the same as now. Maybe it was the excitement of going against your parents or just the overall excitement of getting fucked but you can’t seem to find a reason not to anymore. They are right but you have to put the thought out there that your brain must be jumbled at the thought of having animatronic fingers stuffed in your mouth or nevertheless anywhere else. So much that as you wiped, the toliet paper full of your wetness spilled off your fingers a bit and once again all you can do is just sigh again. Animatronic steps walk into the bathroom and you flush the toilet and walk out of the stall with a pout at them.

“Do you guys have nothing better to do than bother the poor engineer?”

“Real engineers get paid more.”

“For someone that gets paid so little all of my bills are paid.” You seethe washing your hands as Monty steps behind you. His hands hover over your hips and the cool metal hands runs up the back of your uniform before they rest on your shoulders. Their led animatronic glares reflect in the mirror above you and this sink is not so sturdy for Monty to do anything but he does anyways. He pushes your hips into the sink and runs his tongue on your neck, the fabric and plastic of the tongue was foreign against the crevice of your neck and your body shivered. “I-I don’t even have my phone-” You attempted as your body shivered and your knees shook.

“I do.” Freddy said and the two laughed a bit down at you when Monty flipped you around. You wondered when he grabbed your phone but you don’t get the chance to think about it fully when Monty grabs you by the chin and makes you actually face them, locking eyes with both of them and locking your thighs before Monty ran his hand fully up the inner thigh of your jeans. They’re looking down at you as if you were prey, waiting for their chance to strike.

“Remember that this is all a game of trust in the end right, we’re smart enough so that you won’t lose your job.”

“Mhm, you’re just making more money.”

It was almost like the devil was talking live in the metal of these bots, convincing voices at the back of your head while the cool metal of Monty’s other hand pulls your shirt from the tuck under the waistband of your pants. The flashlight from the recording video in Freddy’s hand is on your body as Monty pops open the buttons to your pants and your shirt, pulling them off with too much ease and Freddy helps by putting the discarded clothes in the sink with his other hand, neither taking their eyes off of you. Your soaked panties weren’t even mentioned but instead torn off as his fingers dipped into your folds. A shocked whine as the cold green metal of his finger disappears into your cunt makes your hips jump and your wetness drips down his palm like honey as he scissors you cunt open. Digging up on the spongy spot.

It must’ve triggered something in Freddy to just place down your phone by the face so that the flashlight lit up the ceiling and your camera faced your back. Your hair hung over the camera as you threw your head back from Freddy’s new touches along with his hand over your mouth. His fingers pinch at your nipples while Monty’s curl inside of you and your thighs shake at the new sensation, your eyes pulled shut and a heat flashing over your skin. If it wasn’t for the sink partially holding you up your knees would be on the floor but instead your arms are holding you up from Monty’s shoulders and your breathy whimpers echoing through the bathroom even under Freddy’s hand. Your head is spinning, focusing isn’t the first thought to come to your head but instead your thought is on how they look down at you while they play with your body. You’re senses are wavering as the bathroom starts to reek from your sweating body.

You’re close, shaking and throwing your head back as Freddy’s face goes into your chest, latching onto your nipple while using his other hand to toy with your other breast. A muffled gasp is the only warning you get when you cum over Monty’s fingers, you shake with overstimulation and the boys watch attentively as they help you ride it out. They’re very grateful for this ‘show’ you’re providing them with, the fact that they finally got the cute engineer under their claws riles them up more than you’re making them. You think that maybe the both of them are just waiting to be caught being this risky because you have to physically pull them away from your body. Your bra is unclipped and quickly forgotten as Freddy grabs it and shoves it in the other sink but you’ll never forget the look they have over you now. It almost makes you 100% certain that they’re in this for the risk as Monty flips you around and Freddy grabs the camera in front of you. There is no amount of prep in the world that could’ve stopped you from shrieking when you were penetrated, you could’ve never expected the hot thick cock that was sliding into your vagina even belonged to Monty but Freddy standing beside you, another large monsterous cock has on edge no doubt. Your mouth waters over the sink like a dog in heat as he eases himself to the hilt of your cunt in one smooth painful thrust in. You’re soaked, dripping off of Monty’s extremely unexplained almost boiling dick, the pleasure is overwhelming as you suit him to fill your pussy as you moved your knees to take more of him with that whine they seem to love.

Freddy moves Monty back and now Monty’s in one of the bathroom stalls, back against the barrier of the wall connected to the stall doors. This stall is maybe too dim you think as Monty pulls your hair back. The flashlight is too dim to probably pick up more than your flesh but you can’t focus on the phone anymore when Freddy pokes his cock at your entrance. It’s drooling with precum and you couldn’t even push away with the hold Monty has on you. The metal of his arms have no hassle holding you up and in a few seconds you’re accounting debut is being put into action as Monty slips out of your cunt. Cock heavy and dripping of your juices is curved to press against the rim of your ass. If you weren’t the beautiful sex worker you are, they would be ripping you to shreds when entering you but instead there’s only the pain of the stretch and then the euphoria of spilling your wetness on both of their cocks. It’s too good to be true your head thinks as you moan softly under Monty’s hand that has switched places with Freddy who’s placed down the phone on the tin of the menstrual bin and has pulled up your leg to let the camera get a better view of their fat cocks smooshing together inside and outside of your ass and cunt. They rub on each other slightly as the they pull out and push back in, once they gain a steady pace it doesn’t happen. Instead your guts are being rearranged for the first time in ages and your thighs quiver and your tongue slips out of your mouth underneath Monty’s hand. When his fingers enter your mouth you squirt a bit too hard, sucking on the metal of his fingers through the quivering orgasm. The sound of your squirt spilling on the tile embarrasses you but spurs them on more. Monty shoving his fingers down your throat as they both attempt to bottom out with each one of their thrusts. Freddy is the first one to accomplish his goal of bottoming out but that also means he nuts first unfortunately. You don’t expect his cum to be as hot as it was as he spilled into your womb but it was almost burning the sensitive gummy flesh of your cunt but he doesn’t pull out not until Monty follows, spilling into your ass after fully bottoming out inside of you. A couple of breathes is all you need to recuperate as they pull out, fat loads of cum seeping out through both of your holes and you cant help but moan at the feeling your back arching as the push the cum back in with small pushes of their twitching dicks. They leave you in the bathroom with your recording phone after cleaning themselves up. To be far, getting caught isn’t part of the agenda but you weren’t done with this video, you have to clean up their mess and your fingers have always gotten your twitter views going.

——————

The weekend rolled in a little too much money, your parents complaining and ironically your grandma dying. Thankfully your family didn’t blame it on you, at least they have morals but you on the other hand probably don’t. It wasn’t too long that everyone at work had seen your video and now it’s monday and the other engineer doesn’t have to slip through the elevator due to be late today. There’s a silence but your usual gum popping breaks it.

“In the bathroom? I mean, good for you but when did you manage to sneak two guys away from everyone, especially the animatronics. Don’t they have like… heat ray vision?” You had to laugh, god what an idiot of a co-worker.

#freddy fazbear #glamrock monty #glamrock freddy #glamrock freddy x reader smut #glamrock monty x reader smut #freddy x reader smut #monty x reader smut

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wangxianficrecs · 4 years ago

Note

Hi Mojo, I also wanted to share my thoughts on this concrit and commenting discussion, particularly the etiquette of asking permission before identifying racism part. I think there are two conversations here: the concrit and comment etiquette on fics, and POC being able to speak up without having to adhere to etiquette. Of course you can stop reading this message if you would like to as I’m mindful of your argument that you should ask permission first. But if you could read this (not even publish!) then that would be appreciated.

I am a Chinese diaspora. As a Chinese diaspora your comments affected me rather more than I expected them to. I’m being really careful about my own tone right now - because I’m worried that if I come across as angry or even remotely impolite, that my message might get dismissed by a reader thinking I’m just angry and reactive. I’m coming from a personal perspective on this, but I can’t not make it personal as this is something that affects me, and my friends and family, as people.

With your message to be kind in all interactions with authors, all that runs through my mind is the implication that as a POC person, is is MY job to be kind and understanding and polite, and it MY job to willingly teach another person of how their actions and words have impacted me. That if I am angry or offended and speak in a less than nice tone, that somehow this is a petty tit-for-tat move on my part? Of course in an ideal situation we should not react emotionally - but I can’t be expected to stay unemotional in the face of micro aggression and racism, even if it was not meant to be malicious. I’m sure your intention wasn’t this but then the idea that WE must then kindly educate the racist party (accidentally or otherwise) is a huge emotional and mental burden that we can’t be expected to partake in every time.

I know I cannot say ‘us’ in this situation, but this isn’t an issue that only affects an individual. I KNOW I am only one person. I know I may not be the ‘mouthpiece’, as you said, for everyone who is Chinese diaspora. But I can say for certain that I share the same lived experiences of at least some who will agree with me. I’m challenging the idea that an individual can’t be somewhat reflective of a population - otherwise it would be ridiculous to suggest that all people of a similar background must agree on everything and have a spokesperson.

I’m also sure you didn’t mean to or I could be wrong, but I get the sense that you are considering this issue predominately from the perspective of a non-POC (non-Chinese, in this case) author and how we should try not to upset them. It feels that we must consider that the author is coming from a place of no bad intentions or malice and must therefore speak to them in that way - but that is a very idealistic process that POCs and marginalised people can’t always rely on. Ignorance - especially wilful - can be just as harmful and hurtful as direct aggression.

Luckily my experiences in this fandom has demonstrated that authors who are non-Chinese or POC almost always start their fics with an apology and a reassurance that they are receptive to corrections of any cultural inaccuracies they may have. And I think that this is the crux of the etiquette issue that we shouldn’t offer unsolicited criticism without first asking permission. These authors have acknowledged their different background and own potential shortcomings and are open to criticism in this aspect. In these more common cases, there is of course no need to ask for permission - the author has already anticipated conversation around this.

The etiquette issue is when an author has not prefaced their work with this sort of disclaimer - and I am aware it may be unfair to expect this of all fic writers. That’s where this issue of etiquette comes up. The author hasn’t appeared to welcome comments on cultural insensitivity - so I have to think about if I now need to ask nicely for permission to speak. As a reader, specially as a Chinese diaspora, if cultural insensitivity or discrepancies appear without the disclaimer of ‘please let me know if there are any inaccuracies’ then the implication may be that the author simply didn’t care or bother about offending anyone. If they do, then I know it’s just a mistake and that they haven’t been dismissive or uncaring. Without it, the authors intentions become much more ambiguous.

Even worse is when an author blatantly says they’ve made mistakes or haven’t researched and don’t care for feedback. My culture and heritage isn’t a playground for you, and I don’t think fic writers should be exempt from being respectful for the sake of a quick fic.

Like I said earlier, this is not a hypothetical exercise for POC. We’re faced with microaggressions constantly in our real lives, so our patience for this sort of situation runs a bit thin and it is difficult not to react with emotion. I also dislike the idea that I need to ask permission to speak about something that impacts me so profoundly.

A message to prefaces a written piece of work saying that the author is not of that ethnicity or culture and that they welcome comments to fix it always helps. Then the lines of communication aren’t blurred and the onus doesn’t fall on the marginalised or POC to become a teacher.

Mojo, this is actually the second draft of a message to you. I have spent over an hour and a half of my time crafting this message - trying to get the tone right, trying not to come across angry or impolite, trying to say everything I want to say. Your replies to the blogger in the replies of one of the last anons was what really sparked this huge essay- I came away from reading them really effected, and not knowing why I was upset by it. I think you really missed the point that they were trying to say - that obviously, unsolicited criticism can be hurtful and unnecessary, but valid criticism of hurtful practices should not be shut down. Instead, you explained (and I know interpreting tone through text is difficult but I could not read it in a non-patronising way) that in short, if I am mean because they’ve been (allegedly accidentally) mean first then I shouldn’t expect them to listen to any of my concerns or understand why I was upset. Because I was mean back. For me, this felt like a dismissal of something that is profoundly more complex - that it wasn’t a conversation about etiquette anymore, but somehow became one about silencing marginalised people and coddling fragile white egos.

Mojo, I’ve followed you for ages and love all the content and hard work you put out and am infinitely and considerably grateful for your achievements. You are truly a wonderful person with such great ideas and intentions. The fandom would suffer greatly without your dedication. It’s just that on this occasion I think you may have missed the mark a little and had to say something. Others may not agree with me, I know, but I hope you have at least read this.

Lots of love, from a follower

Let me start by saying that I’m very sorry you felt you had to moderate your tone so much in order to be heard. I really do strive to make my blog a welcoming environment for everybody, and I regret that you’ve felt excluded: that was never my intention. I am always interested in everyone's point of view.

You've got some really great and specific points here that I think will be helpful to all authors in this fandom -- like ways to introduce your fic and/or be respectful as well as small things that come across as offensive.

The conversation this morning veered way off track from bookmarks to racism, and like I said then, I am not qualified to talk about that. I do not have your history or your experiences: all I can do is listen and empathize and learn. Which I try to do!

What I am qualified to discuss is how writers might respond to comments: I've had lots of experience with that! So my point is: if you approach an author with anger, they are very likely to close themselves off to you. I'm not attaching a value judgement to that, to say that they are right or wrong to do so... it's just a statement based on my observations over many years.

I can imagine how easily a lifetime of tiny (and large) insults and slights would build up and spill over in anger, frustration and resentment. That's very human. Please don't think that I am belittling or denying your experience or your right to feel this way, because I am not.

I respect you. I respect your experience. I respect your right to be angry and to talk about it. Period. I really, really do. I think it's important for your voice to be heard: this is how you feel valid as a person with your feelings, and it's how other people learn!

So let's go back to reading a fic where you find portions (or all) of it racist or insensitive or culturally tone deaf. What is your goal? I ask this just as a student of psychology (and also a parent). Do you want to educate them, or to shame them? Again, I'm not attaching a value judgement to either response. The way you introduce your topic will affect how the author will react. It's not about 'white fragility'... there's no way for you to know who penned that story, just as there is no way for the author to know anything about you when you comment. This is just about humans and how they interact with each other.

This is tough. This is thorny. THIS IS NOT A SIMPLE MATTER. There are always, always going to exceptions, gray areas and straw men: you (and any reader) should always use your judgement. Are you saying this to someone who is hateful and bigoted and cruel with it? Or are you saying it to a 12-year-old girl from corn fields in Nebraska? Are you unsure?

So this isn't about silencing your voice, not at all. It's about judging who you're speaking to and whether or not they'll hear you.

I absolutely do not think that unsolicited or angry fic comments (or bookmarks) are a productive forum for educating people... if that is your goal. And it may not be, which is fine. As you pointed out, the burden of educating people should not rest solely on you, it shouldn't be your responsibility.

I will say again that a place like this, right here - this very letter which I am answering and publishing - IS a great way to educate people. Use it freely, speak loudly, say your piece and share your experiences. Arrgh, I really hope that doesn't come across as condescending. I'm being utterly sincere. I am nearly 50. I've seen a lot of change happening. This is how it happens.

I do not want to silence your voice - or anyone's voice! I want to hear everyone's opinions and thoughts because that ultimately makes me a more well-rounded and considerate person and the world a better place.

I do however, passionately believe that positive change can be affected best through positive interaction. It's not a rule everyone is required to follow, not at all. But is the one that I speak of, and the one that I try to adhere to.

I could never speak for any minority, to say what you should or shouldn't do - as individuals or as a group. But I can speak from the experiences and feelings of a fic author. That's it, that's the limit of my ability. And you may do with that whatever you feel is right.

Let me wrap this up by saying that I really appreciated this letter and Nonny - you were very brave to throw this out into the forum, thank you! You had some extremely useful and important points that I am very happy to share. I am sorry my comments hurt you, and I hope that you feel a little better now.

Having said all this, I would really not like to start a huge discussion on racism in the fandom. I am the wrong person to conduct that conversation: I don't know enough about it, nor do i have the proper experiences or point of view.

With that, I must go, and I'll see you all tomorrow!

#Anonymous #fandom etiquette #comments #racism in fandom #which I am really not qualified to discuss #but this is an important point of view #that we should all listen to #and I'm grateful that Nonny shared it

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singeramg · 4 years ago

Note

so proud to be a henry cavill fan, he is awesome and he does care about whats happing and anyone who hates on him is wrong. after that post just makes me love him more

Hi anon,

So I am going to respond to the above comment under the assumption that you are speaking about everyone in general and not just me so I will offer my opinion in kind. 🧐😊

Okay so I haven’t been avoiding this topic but I haven’t been exactly excited to post on it either but since the opportunity to speak on it has come up I will be saying my peace with the intent that it does not offend anyone but that it inspires you. I hope I don’t lose any followers behind it but if I do then that probably means you weren’t here to truly support me anyway. 🤷🏾‍♀️

First and foremost if you are following my blog or reading this in the tags and have never heard of me at all...

I. AM. A. BLACK. WOMAN.

A unapologetic, proud, and loud black woman. I love that about myself and that will not change.

When it comes to the matter of Henry Cavill I am a huge fan (otherwise why would I devote my time to writing or posting anything about him.) and I will continue to be a fan. However I have noticed some discontent with his last ig post. When I noticed it I looked into what people were saying and with that being said BOTH sides make a valid point.

I do not pretend to know Henry Cavill on a personal level, I do not know his personal life, what his feelings are or anything like that because they reserved for those closest to him (as they should be, the man owes nobody his personal life nor time) that being said we do not know what he is doing behind the scenes to support BLM movement and to end police brutality against all. He could be donating and signing petitions, all of that and honestly normally I operate under the ideal that if you are truly giving and doing out the kindness of your heart then it does not need to be recorded nor told. Nobody ever has to know what you’ve done for others because that’s what charity and helping others is about. Not letting the word know “ooo look at me I am handing out blankets and handing this homeless person 20 dollars.” That’s just me 🤷🏾‍♀️

Now I say all of that to say this.

We are in a moment in time where one post is not the game changer we need. Black people have been protesting this treatment for years! Lynching just became a federal crime in the USA in 2018.

Let that sink in...

2018.

Our former president had displays set up of him being hung from a tree.

Ruby Bridges is in her 60s I believe.

There were still segregated high schools in the south up until about a year or two ago.

People still call the police for Black people living in the same building as them. Holding us captive in spaces because they feel we owe them an explanation or conversation.

I personally have experienced racism across multiple times in my life where I have been assaulted, berated and verbally abused because of the color of my skin.

Now is not the time for passive involvement. If you are going to be our allies then we need you all in. Right now, Especially if you are European/ Caucasian and across the globe, we need your voices now more than ever and we need you to make it clear about where you stand so that there is no confusion nor passivity about it. It needs to be known that no matter who you are it shouldn’t be tolerated.

So no if y’all want my opinion. I do not believe his one post in the scope of everything that is going on is enough. One post on a day, on a platform that you aren’t on everyday anyway, that all of your peers is saying or doing it is not enough and making that the only thing you post 👀. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that even to me (the most understanding person who has friends of every creed, color, orientation and otherwise) the post felt convienant and slightly tone deaf.

Before y’all jump on my back I have this to say about him specifically. Do I think this man is a racist? ABSOLUTELY NOT. He, himself has too many friends and people of every color, orientation to in my opinion be racist nor discriminatory toward anyone. He seems like a Really sweet guy who loves people and animals (the man picked up a damn turtle out of the street so it didn’t get run over) and just wants the best for everyone. He wants hugs and love and for the world to love in harmony.

To that effect I am also keeping in mind that his history with press has not been the best. They have a habit of twisting words and making them seem what they are not. His comments on Me too were taken out of context and make to seem like he was being a misogynistic asshole, when in reality he was just making a valid point ( especially for someone like him who has a self admitted fear/issue of talking to women he is interested in.). His comments on the Oscar controversy were at best a moment of Naïveté and unaware of what the actual problem was and is. Does that mean he needed to educate himself on the real issue? YES. Does that mean that he hasn’t since then? NO.

He has a case of F. I. M that no matter how old you are can be from childhood until senior years. F. I. M is Foot In Mouth. So for right now I am going to take his lack of vocality as being trigger shy and a fear of saying the wrong thing. Tbh this is wrong time to accidentally or on purpose say the wrong thing because nobody is putting up with that. We are not allowing for “accidental” ill spoken words and honestly bae might just do that because he may word something wrong and it goes completely left in what he was trying to say. I’d rather him take the time or let his managers draft something to say that he agrees with rather than he go on a tangent and get himself canceled like Lea Michele, Doja Cat and Drew Brees. So for right now I am going to let him slide.

But I will say this he only has so long to be passive or to think that that one post is enough in this situation because it’s not. He is going to have to show a real invested interest in change at some point. 🤷🏾‍♀️ this goes for ALL my celeb loves white, black, brown and everything between. You ain’t got to be John Boyega (although I love his energy) but you can’t be silent either.

I am not about to go on the Henry Cavill is canceled tour because it’s not that deep yet. For now he still has my support and fandom, I am going to continue writing and posting him as I see fit.

Sorry for being so long winded but it needed to be said and as I said when started this post is not meant to be offensive as much as it meant to be informative and hopefully inspiring to all of his fans and beyond. Maybe even spark a conversation about your own involvement 😊

- Singeramg

#henry cavill #singeramg rants #singeramg responds #singeramg loves

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lavenderek · 4 years ago

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fwiw i’m an A*3 volunteer - i do tag wrangling, actually - and i really do need to emphasise the fact that we are VOLUNTEERS, and there’s really nothing we can do when it comes to bigger issues re: the core of how the site runs and the values people feel it holds.

what i am really tired of is people assuming things about me because i’m a volunteer. people can be so ridiculously vitriolic - like that anon you got who was immediately at you like ‘SO YOU’RE FINE WITH CHILD ABUSE?’ is a perfect example of what i mean. no, i’m not, but i honestly do appreciate a rare space online that is *relatively* unmoderated - which is NOT to say it isn’t completely unmoderated. like you said, there are so many cultural aspects to even simple tags, and as a tag wrangler, you’re ‘trained’ on that. that’s just tag wrangling - i’m sure higher up volunteer positions also take the time and care to educate volunteers correctly on how to manage their roles.

again, though, there is fundamentally very little us volunteers can do for parts people might disagree with. we come from all walks of life and there are so many roles and we all only have so much time. fact is, the website is the way it and it’s unlikely to change beyond perhaps adding more ‘social media’ type functions, like blocking people. if you feel that there is content that is inappropriate or commenters that are inappropriate or whatever, you can report it directly to the people running the website (which i’ve personally done before for an extreme underage fic about a real life - albeit of-age - person), and i obviously didn’t check back to see if it had been removed, but i assume it was dealt with because i genuinely do have faith in the moderators. anyway, just some insight as someone who works with the site.

hey! thanks for the info actually this is really interesting. sorry about the delayed response, i saved it as a draft to come back to it later and then i got busy at work and forgot

while you're here, you mind if i ask you some questions? feel free not to answer, you're not obligated

i separated it into sections because i’m what? longwinded and easily confused

1. can this happen (has questions for you in it)

it's my understanding that the big uproar vis a vis CP fic on a*3 is more that a*3 is inadvertently creating a space where p*dophiles feel safe and can establish a following, in turn allowing them to normalize what they're doing and gain access to potential victims.

tldr, it's less "this is inappropriate" and more "the person who made this is dangerous." like, if the person who wrote that nasty fic you reported had a whole profile full of similar content and was gaining a following from it, that would be concerning.

is the overall effect a user has something that you all take into account when you're going through content on the site, or are you instructed to take the specific piece of content at face value?

and, do you think that's something it's possible to address by moderators? regardless of whether or not it’ll actually happen, do you think that is possible on this system?

and, even more optional than the other questions, if that was possible, what do you think that would look like?

2. what is the process like on your end (has questions for you in it)

just for my own curiosity, how much leeway do you as a volunteer have over whether a fic should be reported?

is it up to your own judgment or is there like a rubric or something?

and what happens if the moderators decide that yeah, this fic can't be up anymore, do they remove the fic or kill the user's profile or what?

what happens if you report something, and the moderators decide it’s fine? does that reflect on you in their eyes?

how often do you report fic?

3. clarification of motive (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

like i hear you that you, personally, Anon J. Wranglerton, don't have control over the site itself. the topic of CP and abuse is touchy and wigs people out because it sort of self perpetuates.

it's like that anecdote that went viral a few years ago where a bartender explained that allowing one polite n*zi into the bar leads very quickly into lots of n*zis being in the bar. people want the n*zis removed from the bar.

i'm sorry people accuse you of being an abuse apologist because of that, i think the idea that people wouldn't really see abuse as a concern is like, actually horrifying to them lmao and i can't necessarily blame them for that in and of itself

4. if i see where they’re coming from then what’s my problem (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i guess i don't share that reaction because disgusting content online isn't anything new for me. i accidentally came across it all the time when i was a kid going online. i nearly fell victim to an actual predator when i was 12 or 13. thankfully, once he asked me for more personal information i was able to get scared and see some red flags. (or if he wasn’t a predator then i should probably go and find my chat room boyfriend Oukami who explained “yiffing” to me and told me to send him pictures of myself so he could make me a wolf fursona)

from my perspective, the a*3 debate looks like this: predators are a concept that is deeply embedded in every corner of the internet, and very suddenly, people are very up in arms about a very specific website having predators on it. it’s like if all of a sudden people were like, “there are customers at Target who yell at the employees. if you still shop at Target, unfollow me.”

like, yeah, you’re right, and that’s bad, but why Target specifically, and why now, you know?

i think predators should be made to feel extremely unsafe in fandom spaces lmao, but i also think that’s something that can only be tackled socially. playing whack-a-mole with predators is a tale as old as time.

5. online predators (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

this is just me talking out of my ass, but my theory is that a huge component in kids today getting caught up by predators online is that the concept of anonymity and fear of strangers online has some holes in it on here.

first of all, people just a couple years younger than i am grew up on social media. that was the entire online landscape ever since myspace.

influencers use their real names and faces, and they have millions of followers and are treated like celebrities. a lot of these social networks make it extremely difficult to hide your identity at all. you sign in to youtube with your google account, which is linked to your phone and all your other accounts. instagram, twitter, facebook, and tumblr can all be connected, and a few of those apps encourage it and will interrupt you posting to be like “do you want to also put this on twitter, Firstname Lastname?” no, janet, i’m good. thank you though

this lends a certain amount of freedom to predators, because there is nothing stopping them from assessing somebody’s vulnerability and reaching out to them.

6. online predators in fandom spaces specifically (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i think the fandom space cultivated on tumblr has actively contributed to that.

look at all these blogs, they’ve got “about me” descriptions with their name, their age, a blurb about their interests, their gender identity, their romantic/sexual preferences, sometimes their fuckin myers-briggs designation. this is all expected behavior on tumblr.

it starts as a sort of “this is my blog, here’s what i’m about,” and is compounded by like, “NTs can reblog this post but don’t say anything stupid,” or “minors DNI, how old are you,” like, you have to kind of verify that you’re “allowed,” in a sense, to participate in some conversations or interact with some posts.

i think there’s merit in both of those things, blogs are for self expression and for interacting with likeminded users; and i don’t think it’s “gatekeeping” to stop straighties from clowning on your post about queer issues.

but this has inadvertently created a sort of entitlement to private information. it also creates this false idea that because you and i have x and y in common, we can interact comfortably.

it’s crucial to remember that predators aren’t all scary white men who want to visit you at home. some of them are cool 20-somethings who just happen to be normalizing sexual content with children in it. and they genuinely don’t see what they’re doing as wrong. if they’re already your friend, and you see them saying shit about how they’re not hurting anybody, it’s just pretend, it’s just a kink, then you’re probably going to sympathize with them.

this isn’t to say, “stupid kids, they’re bringing this on themselves by oversharing to the wrong people,” because it’s neither kids’ fault nor unique to children. this kind of oversharing is taking place with all ages and kinds of people on tumblr.

this is to say, this is what this particular subculture has caused: healthy boundaries are kind of bulldozed to make room for a kind of disorganized sense of community and morality.

7. back to CP on a*3 (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i think this kind of “CP is disgusting and you’re disgusting for looking at it” shit is dangerous.

things this is NOT because of:

CP deserves a place online

It’s A Slippery Slope, What Will They Ban Next

um, kinkshaming

there is no point in even trying to get predators off a*3

i just think it’s completely unhelpful. it’s literally a waste of their time. they’re wasting their time and hurting themselves and others in the process. it’s lacking in nuance and perspective.

what we should be saying is “CP is a red flag. CP tells you something about the person posting it.”

we shouldn’t be asking “are you okay with child abuse,” we should be asking, “what does this content say about the person posting it? are they unsafe to have around? if i realize too late that they’re unsafe, who can i turn to?” those are the kinds of questions we should be asking if our goal really is to protect people.

what the collection of block lists of supposed abuse apologists says is this: “you have to choose between not having to police online behavior, and proving your morals to me, a complete fucking stranger. if your morals are lacking, you’re out, we don’t speak to you anymore, and we tell everyone who will listen that you are a bad person.”

not to delegitimize their concerns, but it’s fully just mccarthyism. like... that’s what mccarthyism was like. the fact that mccarthyism was bad isn’t even the point, it’s important to recall that mccarthyism did not work. it stopped happening for myriad reasons, one of which was that it was hurting people and wasting resources and doing absolutely nothing else.

i obviously don’t want to be labeled “anti-american pinko scum” and fired from my job and disallowed from my neighbor’s house. who would? they’re not actually weeding out anybody dangerous, they’re just rounding people up who are just as angry as they are or who are scared of them lmfao.

ever since that shitty post of mine went viral (which - “viral,” i guarantee it isn’t viral, i stopped looking at it literally that night) i’ve been terrified that one of these days i’m gonna like, comment on something and have the OP be like “wait a minute, you’re that bitch who made fun of some anti-a*3 people, unfollow me” lmfao. like, that’s what this rhetoric is accomplishing.

i’m not boohooing, i deserved a slap on the wrist for making rude comments. i’m just telling you the extent of the results they’re getting. they made me feel sad. so at least there’s that.

8. anti-a*3 people (has questions for anyone in it)

“fine, so we’re not trying to evangelize for not liking CP. so what? we don’t want people who like CP around. supporting that stuff is disgusting. we are blocking them for our own safety and don’t appreciate the tone police coming in and telling us it’s no big deal.” - an anti a*3 person, probably

yeah i mean, i get that. if i was really upset about something important and somebody told me “you’re right, but shut up about it,” i would also be pissed.

my question, though, is this: is the underage tag on a*3 the limit we want to place on our activism against predators online? at minimum, is yelling at and blocking people about it on tumblr making us feel safer?

and also: how are we going to define the things we are trying to get rid of? what is underage? how do we account for differences in culture? how do we account for nuance when we make broad judgments?

and also: who do we really hold responsible for this? who do we think is at fault and what do we want them to do?

i feel like we could all benefit from some perspective here.

9. back to you (has questions for you in it)

so like, is it fun? how’d you get the position? how long do you work typically?

do you talk directly with higher-ups or whatever? do you have coworkers?

do you have to read through lots of fic yourself or does stuff get reported to you and then you look at it?

what other stuff do you report content for, aside from abusive content? like i read a post saying people shouldn’t be advertising their paypal or whatever on their a*3, do you nip stuff like that in the bud or is that something else?

what if it’s just mistagged, presumably by human error not by a legitimate abuse of the system, what do you do? do you tag it for them or do you reach out to them and tell them to fix it or what?

who decided on the color scheme? can there be a skin that’s orange and avocado green? can you pass that on for whoever does the colors? i think i’d spend more time on any particular website if the color scheme was a nice, desaturated orange and avocado green.

nice

#haters #who is this even #anyway again PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG THIS

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dabblinginmarvel · 6 years ago

Text

Searching for a Dinosaur at the Museum

Request: Hiya! Can I please request an imagine where Steve Rogers falls in love with a nerdy, sweet, innocent, short (I’m 4ft 10 1/2in btw LOL) Kindergarten teacher (I’m also a kindergarten teacher😂). They meet when she takes the kids on a field trip to the museum (the one that has all of the Captain America and Bucky stuff), they talk a lot and he asks her on a date + he introduces her to the Avengers as his girlfriend + Steve being soft for the reader + sweet kisses, cuddles, and hugs.💜

Plot: You and Steve meet in the Smithsonian as you take your class on a tour to learn about heroes and you two develop a relationship.

Blog Tag: @kpopgirlbtssvt

A/N: Hm, yeah, this got longer than I had anticipated. I also altered the prompt slightly. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Warnings: None, maybe mildly unedited.

Word Count Total: 2030

Long Imagine #25

Title: Searching for a Dinosaur at the Museum

Field trip days were some of your least favorite days of the year. Anymore, it was hard to get chaperones, with everyone off at work or just plain unavailable.

Sure, you didn’t have to schedule them, but some of your units benefited from the educational experience they provided. It was all for the kids, after all.

You looked up at the display on the wall, not paying a lot of attention to it since you had come through two days ago for educational purposes, instead thinking of the enormous NCIS news you had learned last night while watching the show. You were pretty excited about what had transpired to the point that you accidentally bumped into someone behind you when you backed up a step.

“Oh, dear, I am so sorry!” You spun around and found yourself looking up into the blue eyes of a tall, broad-shouldered man. He was wearing a ball cap pulled low over his forehead.

He smiled. “Oh, don’t worry. It’s okay, I wasn’t looking where I was going, anyway.”

You at him, eyes squinting a little in thought, then they widened when you realized who it was. “H-hi.” You stuck out your hand.

“Hello….” He shook your hand.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

“You, too.” You grinned. All too soon, the smile faded and you remembered your job. “Oh, shoot, I can’t stay long. I have something to take care of. I’m sorry.”

You took off seven feet to your small group of students admiring the Bucky Barnes exhibit. They were pointing at the pictures.

“Miss Y/L/N! What does this say?” one of your students yelled.

“Joey, please remember our indoor voices.” You looked up at what he was pointing at. “This word is endured.’ It means it was something he lived through.”

“And this?” He pointed at another word, but his voice was quieter.

“Liberated means freed.”

Monica raised her hand. “Why does that number say 1916 and his birthday say 1917?”

You frowned at the inconsistent data. “That is a good question. Someone may have made a mistake.” You knelt in front of her. “You made a good catch today. When you find something like that in a museum, it’s always good to question that. We can go speak to someone that works here and find out before we leave.”

“You mean you don’t know?” Alexei asked and crossed his arms over his chest.

“That’s right. I’m not afraid to admit that sometimes even I have to ask questions. Adults are still learning, too. A good student learns from life along with their teachers. Can you do that?”

Alexei pursed his lips, then nodded.

“Good. Thank you.”

A clearing throat came from behind you. “If I may answer your question?”

It was the man. Steve.

“Steve, these are a few of my kindergartners. We’re learning about real-life heroes.”

“Bucky would be flattered.”

“You’re included in that, Captain.”

You glanced at the kids, their eyes wide and you knew you had split seconds before one of them made a noise. “Remember, inside voices.”

“It’s Captain America!” Joey squealed, bending at the knees and squeezing his eyes shut along with his fists.

“And he can only talk to you if you stay quiet!” you raised your voice by two decibels. The kids stopped chattering, but stayed antsy. “Now, what is James Barnes doing with two birth dates?”

Steve’s smile didn’t falter as he glanced at you, then the kids. He knelt in front of them.

“Bucky pretended that he was a kid that followed the rules, but he lied on his form when he was drafted. It was easier to lie about a birth date when no one was paying enough attention.”

“It says he enlisted, too.”

Steve shook his head. “He was drafted.”

You thought for a moment, then raised an eyebrow at Steve. He stood and his eyes looked confused. “We will have to talk more later about this. I want my students to do reports on heroes and I am sure at least some of them would love to talk about Captain America and his best friend.”

Steve’s mouth upturned in one corner. “I’d be happy to help your students.”

You didn’t miss the faces your students traded between each other. “Alright, kiddos, feel free to keep exploring this exhibit.”

“Are you getting his number?” Alexei asked.

“We have to get that information for your projects, don’t we?”

The kids dashed off to the costumes exhibit, which was five feet away.

You smiled again. “Thank you. I see we have a lot to learn from you, should you be willing to talk about it.”

He dug around in his pocket and you eyed the children in your care. It was much easier on a quieter museum day like today to watch the kids.

“I don’t want to keep you from the kids, so could I get your number?” Steve asked.

“Sure.” You typed in your number and hit save. “I will see you later.”

He waved back when you waved over your shoulder at him.

It took an hour before the children were back on the bus back to school and another half hour after that before all of the kids were being picked up by their parents.

Alexei was the last to be picked up and he turned to you, a frown on his face. “Did we really see Captain America today?”

You nodded. “You sure did.”

“Will we see him again like we did today?”

You looked up, thinking. He looked up, too. When you responded, you told him you would ask Steve Rogers if he would be willing to visit the class and a grin grew on Alexei’s face. His mother showed up and Alexei ran to her. They both waved at you, which you returned.

When you returned to your classroom, you pulled out your phone. Two text messages were waiting for you.

- Hey, it’s Steve, I hope I’m not disrupting your class, but here’s my number.

- Steve again, when you get this, would you like to meet me at Torri’s by the museum? I’ll pay for milkshakes.

You smiled and texted him back, asking if he meant today.

- I’m sorry, Sam decided to ask for me. I was going to wait a couple of days. But if you would like to, yes.

You practically beamed and agreed to meet him there in a little less than an hour if he was willing. Most of that extra time was used to do end-of-class checks. Quick as you could once your tasks were completed, you gathered your grading folder, purse, and lunchbag. The door got locked behind you and you walked to your car.

Steve met you at the little mom and pop shop just as you got to the door. He opened it for you with a smile and you followed him to the counter, offering to pay out of courtesy, and then to a booth with your shakes.

“So, you’re okay with this?” you asked, stirring it with your spoon. It had been established in line that this wasn’t supposed to be a date, but more of helping the kids. While both of you agreed to it, you still felt a little empty about it.

“Yeah. Are you?”

“Yes. But I meant you’re okay talking about this?”

He nodded and readjusted his milkshake by spinning it around on the table with the tips of his fingers. “Yeah. first I want to ask what that face you made in the museum was all about.”

“I was just thinking of my grandfather.”

He leaned forward.

“The army had a history of screwing up not only the health help he got, but his records.”

“What did they mess up?”

“Oh, you know, information about his wife, his service records….”

“Service records?”

“Yep. They got those wrong. I worry Bucky may have gotten the same treatment.”

Steve thought for a moment. “It could have happened. Maybe he didn’t lie.”

You shrugged, then sipped your milkshake.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening going over some questions for the kids - it was all basic details, like getting Bucky’s exhibit correct. By the end, he had also agreed to come in and talk to the class.

The class talk ended up being a success and most kids wanted to do their report on Steve or Bucky, to the point you had to randomly assign heroes to kids to be fair.

Steve kept in touch with you and you both grew increasingly closer over the next two months until Steve asked the question.

“Would you like to meet my friends? They keep asking about you.”

“Oh, do they now?” you asked slyly. He wrapped his hands around yours.

“Yes. Would you be up for it?”

You nodded. “I would be honored.”

He took your hand. You bit your lower lip in a smile.

As it turned out, you met them after you held a Valentine’s party for your students. The drive was nice and you both had a lot to talk about. When you entered the building, you were startled by the welcoming party. All of the team had come to meet you two inside.

“There’s your girlfriend!” Tony Stark yelled. A smile grew on your face as Steve blushed.

“Is this old man bothering you?” Tony continued, causing you to giggle and shake your head. Everyone greeted you and introduced themselves before you moved into a common room. Drinks were brought in on robots and you could tell it was Tony’s invention, these server bots. You made eye contact with Steve and he rolled his eyes to you.

“Y/N, were you searching for a dinosaur in the museum?” Natasha asked and tipping her head in your direction. Steve opened his mouth to protest, but you cut him off.

“Not originally. It seems he found me.”

The team laughed.

“Steve, if you lose her, I’ll take her.” Natasha held her glass up in cheers.

“Would you guys stop, I haven’t asked her out yet!” Steve blurted out.

That caused everyone to fall silent and you turned to him. “Excuse me, yet?”

Steve looked down at his glass and swirled the water. “Yet.”

You waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. “Is there a place to talk alone for a moment?”

Steve gestured for you to follow him and as you left, you heard chatter behind you. You both turned a few corners and were finally far enough away from the team that hopefully your conversation would give you privacy.

Steve chewed on his lower lip before speaking. “I’m sorry about them.”

“Don’t be. I was already under the impression we were dating. They weren’t the only ones who had the wrong impression.”

His mouth dropped open in shock. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I’m not used to the way dating is today. I thought you went out on a few dates before you made it official.”

“Before? Yet? Steve, when were you planning to ask?”

He shrugged. “I almost chose yesterday, but I didn’t want to make it seem like I chose yesterday because it’s Valentine’s Day week.”

“I wouldn’t have minded if you had asked because of Valentine’s Day.”

He stood up a little straighter and it made him so much taller again. “Really?”

“Really. Steve, would you like to go steady?”

“Aren’t I supposed to ask you that?” He smiled bashfully.

“Well, you haven’t done it, yet. So I’m asking.”

“Yes. I want to go steady with you.”

A male voice (Tony’s, you would later realize) yelled from around the corner, “It’s about time!”

Steve’s face crinkled with frustration and you took his hand to calm him. Slowly, he turned back to you. He took your face in his hand, brushing your cheekbone with his thumb. You closed your eyes and smiled.

Gently, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and your mouth opened slightly, wanting more than just a forehead kiss.

He must have noticed because the next thing you knew, he was kissing your mouth just as tenderly. The hesitation from him didn’t worry you and you kissed him back.

- - -

Masterlist on blog!

Permanent Tag List (please alert me if you change your username, want to be tagged for only one character, or if you want to be untagged): @abbybills22, @breezy1415, @coffeebooksandfandom, @cxptain-americaa, @deceivedeer, @dreamer821, @everything-but-the-not-natural, @elxrini, @fangirling-equestrian, @feelmyroarrrr, @hellomissmabel, @httpmcrvel, @iamwarrenspeace, @kudosia, @m4df4n, @marrvelle-fics, @mindlessnerd89, @ms-cellanies, @mylittlefandomfanfictions, @princessleah129, @space-helen, @susiejustsusie, @tea-with-loki, @thisismysecrethappyplace, @wired-girl @wkndfrvr, @wxnchestervevo (tag list is open!!)

Strikethroughs are blogs I can’t tag.

#steve rogers imagine #steve rogers imagines #long imagine

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sundaynightnovels · 6 years ago

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11/11/11

So i’ve been tagged by @elizabethsyson for the 11 question tags! Your answers are all so insightful and thoughtful, they were really fun to read! Rules: Answer 11 questions. Come up with 11 new questions. Tag 11 people. Anyway, the 11 questions I’ve answered: 1. Which of your characters would you most enjoy getting coffee with? i’m a really awkward person if i don’t know you well, so i need someone who’s just really comfortable to be around and who’ll be able to break the ice, so i’m thinking... probably Zhen. i mean there’s no such thing as awkwardness with her because she’s just so chill and laidback and she can talk a lot (of nonsense), so she’ll probably just break the ice with that first. there’s a high chance she might try to run out on the bill though... so i gotta watch for that. okay, who am i kidding? she WILL run out on the bill and i WILL get scammed but like, fine. that’s a fate i will have to accept. 2. Whose name took you the longest to be sure of? Teng?? HAHA because what kind of a name is teng anyway??? like... it could mean rattan, which is ridiculous, and while it is also a commonly used word in a chinese name, you don’t usually see it on its own, and if given nicknames, the person probably wouldn’t ask someone to call them as ‘teng’ on its own. so yea! it’s kinda weird, but i think it’s endearing in a way that exactly fits teng as a character. 3. Do you already know the ending of your wip? yup! 4. If your main characters were animals, what would they be? omGGGGgg this is going to take up all of my brain cells once again. ummMMmm. okay. okay. uh. zhen would be a squirrel???? she hoards things (probably) & she is opportunistic. like, if she sees a potential for her to get free things, she will go for it, and then she’ll hide it from everyone else because she’s selfish like that (but the hoard eventually gets discovered and she’s forced to share like a kid at a playground) shou would be an owl, probably. i answered in an ask that if he was a god, he’d likely be a god of the moon, and owls are very close to that. he’s also intelligent and intuitive and full of wisdom, just that you have to uncover it from the heaps of trash he piles on them all. lu would be a cat. he wants food, all the time. he wants attention too, but not like, deliberately. he’s not going to beg you for it, he’s classy that way. he’s pretty independent too, and he’s street smart. he just stays with you when he prefers the comfort of home. yu(f) would be an ox. she is really resilient and diligent, and she doesn’t mind working hard (in fact, that’s all she really cares about... or is it?). She’s also really hot-tempered too and she can flare up at the smallest things, and she’s also as bull-headed as an ox. she can get really stubborn about things and it’s frustratingly difficult to pull her out of it. ren would be a bee (fine, it’s not an animal, let me be!). he’s a hard worker and he’s diligent and she works not just for herself, but for everyone, but often his hard work is overlooked and people just take advantage of him and he knows it, but he doesn’t mind it. he’d rather it, in fact. jun is probably a red fox. he tends to be rather solitary, even if he interacts with a lot of people, and it’s difficult to really understand who he is or what he’s thinking. he’s also really intelligent and playful, which makes his snarky comments on you especially painful because he makes it clever. just ignoring him would be the best thing to do! teng would be, obviously, as referenced so many times, a bear. he’s like a mother bear! he’s territorial and he’s loving and caring and deeply protective of people who he cares about! he’s also very accepting of others though, and while he appears fierce and brash on the outside, he’s just a huge softy on the inside. another possible animal for him would be the elephant! jia would be a horse. she’s fiery and independent and passionate and full of zest. she’s also really honest and frank, and she’s always ready to take action, like you know things are gonna get done when jia’s around. she’s just that reliable. (i’m sorry, i can’t find an appropriate animal for yu(m) as of yet) 5. What’s the theme song of your wip? i’ve answered this here! 6. What’s your wip’s colour scheme? oh no i’m not good at colours or things like that. i guess the most i can say is probably bluish and like, salmon pink-ish and sunset-yellow-ish?? i don’t even know! 7. What first inspired this wip? OKAY. so there’s this story / tale in chinese folklore about something called the peach blossom springs , which is about this guy who kinda accidentally followed a river to a spring, and then found this utopia land where people kinda led like the perfect, ideal existence without any knowledge of the turmoil going on in the outside world. there’s also this other thing in mythology about the yellow springs (not the one in ohio), whereby this spring would lead to the underworld or something like that? and so i was like hmMMMmmmm can you imagine the dichotomy between these two? what if someone was in search of the peach blossom springs but what they found was instead this pathway to hell (i actually wrote a completely unrelated short story about that, which... isn’t the best, yknow, but i had a little bit of fun with it) so yea! that was literally the premise of my wip! it’s not explicitly mentioned anywhere in my wip and you’ve gotta do a lot of inferences for it, but this inspiration is still kinda, sorta there if you squint. so yeah! 8. What style of illustrations would you want for it if you could hire any artist? i would like the artist to be me and i would like to be able to draw. 9. Which of your characters would be the least vs most freaked out to find out they’re fictional? HA. most of them wouldn’t be freaked out at all. with how everything has been going for them, they’re most likely just gonna go like ‘well, this might as well happen’. or maybe even ‘of course this must be it’. jun and zhen in particular would be so done with it. they’re not even in the least bit freaked out (in fact, jun probably knows a little bit about it since... well, he likes to give self-referential jokes) teng’s probably the only one who’d be the most freaked out, but by then no one really cares about his reaction. 10. Which of your characters could get away with robbing a bank? Why? oh, almost all of them. shou wouldn’t do it, but if he did, he’d annoy the police officers into letting him go. zhen would be able to find so many goddamn loopholes in everything and talking to her is like going through inception 10x in one day. like, you don’t even know what is right and what is wrong or what is up and what is down. you don’t know anything anymore. & lu would be right there being her biggest sycophant. jun would legit be able to get away with robbing a bank. you probably won’t even know he did it. you won’t even suspect him. everyone else around him is a huge suspect though, because he will pin it on them all. jia would be hella good too, like if her mind’s set on a heist, she’s gonna do a heist and it’s gonna be done brilliantly and if she wants it to be a huge media spectacle, she’s going to be able to pull it off without getting caught. she goes all in man, what can i tell you? 11. Which of your characters would be the worst to interact with on tumblr? so many of them. teng would be one of those blogs you block immediately on sight because all his posts are about loneliness and wanting to search for love and things like that. you don’t even want to look at shou’s mess. lu will be unnecessarily aggressive to everything and anything he sees. you post a photo of food? GIVE IT TO ME YOU HEARTLESS ASSHOLE OF AN ADULT WHAT’S THE POINT OF HAVING A JOB AND EARNING MONEY IF YOU WON’T GIVE FOOD TO A KID??!!! jun would be terrible. imagine that he has a writeblr. imagine that he has the greatest, most thought-provoking, most imaginative and never-before-thought-of premise that you could’ve possibly seen on this site. it is beautiful. the first lines that he has posted are magnificent. you want more -- nay, you clamour for more! it is all that is sustaining you in this life! yea, you know what’s gonna happen. he’s gonna tempt you with all that sweet fruit and he’s not gonna log on again. like, ever. maybe once in five years to dangle another juicy bit, and then he’s out. he’s the worst. block him at all costs.

okay!! i’m going to try my hand at giving 11 questions this time, and they are: 1) which of your OCs will survive in a zombie apocalypse and why? 2) which of your OCs will be the most successful in life (you can define what success is)? 3) who would you love to hang out with in a theme park? 4) if your OCs had a tumblr blog, what would their theme / blog content be? 5) which scene has been the most difficult to write, and why? 6) what are your OCs thoughts on politics (in general)? 7) what do your OCs think about sparkling water? 8) how often does your writing follow your plan for it (does it go according to what you’ve planned out, or does it branch out often? do you not have any plans at all?)? 9) use three words to describe your wip’s ending (even if you haven’t written it yet!) 10) what are the three most important elements in your wip? 11) what would be your first reaction / action to finishing your wip (if you have one draft written, imagine this for your final draft!)? okay i’m tagging @brynwrites @inked-waves @inexorableblob @aslanwrites @surroundedbypearls @insearchof-solace @inkpot-dreamer @vhum @latechickadee @focusdumbass @cawolters remember, there’s no pressure to do it, & if you want to do it, you can just take your time with it as well! <3

#like all things out of season #writing tags #writeblr #my OCs #my wip #character tag #writers on tumblr

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whoviancumberbunny · 6 years ago

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Angels and Devils Part Eleven

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten

Tagging: @dandycandy75 @anuknowha @petersfern-fics @dunc-donut@frogmuttforever @michael-langdon-appreciation @codysfallenangels

Author’s Note: Thank you @michael-langdon-appreciation for helping me come up with ideas. i hope they make sense

Author’s Note 2 [1/11/19]: i accidentally locked myself out of @wholockedcumberwumber I almost this finished but the original version is in limbo in the drafts on the other blog so I am going to rewrite and use the ideas for i had for parts 11 & 12 together.

A Fan Fiction By Melissa C. Scraper

Rating:- PG-13/PG Adult Language

Michael Langdon x OC Rejected Michael AU

Lucy knew not to relax, Michael relished in keeping those in the outpost on edge. No one knew what to expect from him. Everyone knew what to expect From Venable and Meade. She automatically stood up as he pushed away from the desk. “You know damned well what my answer is Michael.” she glared at him “It is you i want. I’ve always wanted you.” it felt so wrong and so right at the same time. she stepped closer to him “I know you killed Gabriel to Protect me. I just wanted to pretend it never happened.”

he heart was racing as tears trickled down her cheeks she didn’t care of anyone was listening at the door, which someone likely was. There was always someone lingering outside the door during evaluations pretending they weren’t trying to hear what was going on inside. For the first time in her life, she wanted a glass of wine.

As Lucy Stepped back she felt herself lose balance and at this moment, Michael let the version of himself that had existed before slip forward. as he grabbed her wrist to keep her from falling. as she felt his fingernails dig into her wrist he leaned into her and whispered "No one must ever know." and kissed her passionately

God help her but she was in love with the antichrist. There were only about 10% of 250 people saved by the Cooperative who knew to what Michael was referring when he said to tell no one. and only really lucky and Michael knew what had lead to the secrets held in the sanctuary. "I know you won't answer but have you heard from Maze and Lucifer?" she stood up and stretched and thought back to the day just before the apocalypse had been triggered

Collinsport, Maine The Collins Estate this was the first time since they had met that Lucy and Michael had returned to this place "I may not know a lot about what is going to happen Michael. But i know if the world is ending tomorrow want the last day of this world to be in your arms where it all started for The Collins Family." she leads him into the old house up to the master suite where a portrait of bride hung over the mantel with an antique music box "I am giving myself to you. Even if i am not judged to be worthy of being in an outpost i want to spent my last moments with you."

a few hours later as they rested under the ancient mildew covered sheets "You didn't have to do that Luce." Michael said "Forgive me for anything io may do after the apocalypse starts. what is going to happen if what Judah expects to result from our union does occur."

"Lucifer, Maze and Amenadiel will protect them."

10 months later in a building owned by the Cooperative "Galen Lee Langdon." she says holding a baby with golden blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. "They are Grooming Daddy to judge everyone. Hopefully, you will get to meet him."

Present day.... "How dare you!" she said slapping him and storming out

None of these people deserved to die or believe they were dying. Lucy was resting on her bed staring at the ceiling, she wanted to use the laptop hidden under her bed. But someone always seemed to knock on her door after evaluations. This time was no different, Gallant knocked on the door "Come in?" Lucy responded and he stretched out on the bed. "What is it Des?"

"No one in the house Knows we know each other. Don't worry."

"You are such a drama queen that it is not like anyone would believe you." she said with a grin as she closed the door "I am sorry for anything He has done to you. As soon as he agreed to all of this. The Cooperative did something to make Tate resent him. " they had been given two weeks to decide whether or not to join the cooperative and Lucy had taken Michael to the murder house to see his human/ghost family.

While he had made peace with Vivien and Ben Harmon, Tate was still steadfast in his belief that Michael would only ever be evil. "Stop apologizing Lu. None of us can control other people. i am just getting prepared because I know you are going to slap me."

while psyching herself up to slap her friend, she whispered "Don't eat the apple. Make up any reason you can just don't eat the apple." She slaps Mr. Gallant "How dare you to make the baseless accusation that Mr. Langdon and I are lovers." they were he would use his powers to teleport into her room at night to watch her sleep.

To Be Continued

#angels and devils #part 11 #michael langdon #michael langdon x lucy #fan fiction #1/11/19

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