#i am so so sorry to anybody who read that fucking wall of text

[piratefalls]

welcome back to the latest edition of biweekly fic recs! as always, mind the tags, if you can't leave a nice comment don't leave one at all, and happy reading!

masterlist.

There's No Problem That San Diego Can't Solve by @historicallysam

Alex doesn’t even bother knocking; he simply twists the knob on the door and shoves it open. His eyes narrow as the door bangs against the wall and he sees Henry on the phone. Maybe (definitely) it’s rude but his blood is fucking boiling so he doesn’t really care.

All the Ocean was Sleeping by @sparklepocalypse

The worst part about being a siren in the modern era, Henry ponders as yet another ship flies past his cove at a speed that he knows will disturb the anemone gardens below, is the yacht bros. Between the sound of their vessels’ motors and the dissonant noise the humans call music, Henry’s singing has no chance of attracting anyone’s attention.

cause you're a classic, and i'm reckless by @firenati0n

“I've, actually, uh. I've never done this before.” At this, Henry stops short, takes a second as his gaze moves up and to the left, trying to recall something. “I've seen your films. You most certainly have done intimate scenes.” Alex clears his throat. He hopes his nerves aren't completely obvious, the slight waver in his voice about to give him away. “Yeah, well. Never with a man, so. Not at this scale, anyway.” “Would it help to, er, practice?" Henry winces a little as he says it, which does not inspire confidence. But Alex is shocked nonetheless. What the fuck?

Over Land and Sea by SatinBirds

Alex and Henry come from very different worlds, and still, they manage to find each other.

Clean Slate by smc_27

“Henry.” Pez comes over, puts both hands on Henry’s cheeks and looks him dead in the eye. “You are not a sad man who’s gotten dumped. You’re in the prime of your life, and I quite desperately need you to act like it.” “The prime of my life,” Henry scoffs, more incredulous than questioning. “I’ve just gotten out of a 15 year relationship, endured a divorce, am suffering an almost impressive case of writer’s block, and your hands are like bloody icicles.” Pez grins, doesn’t take his hands away. “Explain to me how this is my prime. Please.” Pez tilts his head, and sounds entirely serious when he says, “Literally anything can happen from here.”

in bloom by stutteringpeach

Yoo, can u hook me up with some flowers?? It's the busiest day of the year for florists. Alex texts Henry with a last minute request.

here is a map (with your name for a capital) by @alasse9

That day at the Rio de Janeiro Olympics, Alex comes across the very same Prince Henry who just dismissed him having a panic attack in a bathroom. The choice Alex makes then has ripple effects neither of them could have ever expected. What's the story like, when they actually are friends all along? “So, you’re going back to England tonight, and you’ll spend the next three days pretending you two are the closest and best of friends until we can put this mess behind us.” And there are reasons he hasn’t told anybody this, good reasons, even though he’s sure June and Nora saw through him ages ago. Faced with his mom’s disappointment, though, and with the realization that the entire world apparently thinks he hates Henry and would willingly shove him into a fucking cake, he can’t stay quiet. “But we are friends,” he says, vehement and serious. “We have been for years. He’s—he’s probably my best friend, actually, along with Nora.”

thoughts of you consume by yrsonpurpose

Henry sees Alex appear on the red carpet in a blue suit that screams sex on legs and is ready to throw away all attempts at concealing their secret relationship in the name of dropping to his knees at the first available opportunity.

eyes on me by matherine

Alex’s hips buck back against Henry’s mouth the moment his tongue does more than tease, and Henry squeezes his hip in gentle consternation. But before he can say anything, Alex is already rambling. “Sorry, I’m — I’m sorry, I know you said not to move, and I’m trying, I — I’m trying to be good, I promise,” he blurts, voice shaking ever so slightly from something that certainly doesn’t sound like pleasure, resolutely refusing to turn his head so that he can meet Henry’s gaze from where he’s positioned behind him. Henry’s heart aches. “Alex — love, it’s alright. Where’s your mind?” Or: Sometimes, Alex needs a distraction. Something to take the edge off, to scrub away at the stress of the day. Some days, it works better than others. 

the evolution of intimacy by Poutini

There’s no spontaneity anymore. One might think this boring. That the novelty had worn off. The spark snuffed. Absolutely not

Want Me by OrchidScript

Henry had always been weak for a nice smile, but his was impossible to ignore. Blame it on summer heat and a fresh flush in his cheeks. Blame it on sunset painting the outdoor bar sweltering, romantic colors. Blame it on two healthy glasses of albariño thrumming in his bloodstream, or the good music floating on the air. Henry could blame it on anything liked if he thought long and hard about it, but that didn’t change much at the end. The core remained the same: he had been gone from the jump. -- Henry and Alex hook up on a vacation in Spain. Henry falls a bit deeper.

fill my lungs with sweetness by @priincebutt

Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor wakes up at 3 AM on his birthday to an empty bed. What could Alex possibly be getting up to at 3 AM the night before his birthday? The possibilities are endless.

got myself in quite a tangle by coffeecatsme

"It seems I've gotten myself in quite a tangle." "Tangle?" Henry's voice is hoarse, eyes darkened as they travel over Alex's body. They stop at his crotch, and Alex can see it even under the dim lights—Henry's growing hard too, a visible bulge pushing at his sweatpants. Alex's cock gives a desperate twitch. "Y'know, I was trying to put them around the tree," he starts, gesturing at the plain tree at the corner. It's clear he didn't even attempt to touch it. "And somehow I've managed to completely trap myself. Can't even move my hands." Henry makes a desperate noise at the back of his throat as his eyes snap up to Alex's face. Alex flashes him a suggestive grin, teeth biting down on his lip. "Seems I'm completely at your mercy."

The Forces of Chance and Coincidences by @stellarm

Bad weather leads to a late flight that leads to no one being where they wanted to be, but maybe everyone was where they needed to be.

I've never felt safer (than when I'm with you) by viciouslyqueer

Alex takes the bag and opens it slowly, careful not to rip it, and gasps quietly as he sees what’s inside. “H, you didn’t…” Strong arms wrap around his waist from behind, Henry’s chest warm against his back. “Do you like it?” Henry asks in a whisper, resting his chin on Alex’s shoulder. Alex doesn’t know what to say. Gingerly, like he might ruin it with even the smallest touch, he takes out the silky fabric and holds it up in front of them. It’s a gorgeous dress, fancy too, in a deep red color with thin straps and an open back. It’s long, almost touching the floor even as Alex holds it up and has a slit on the left side that would probably end a little above Alex’s knee.

An Amateur's Guide to Professional Gift-Giving by anincompletelist

Alex, a former-law-student-taking-some-time-off turned professional part-time gift giver, is tasked with finding a gift for the most high profile client he's ever worked with, both in and out of the world of law. It turns out finding the perfect gift for the Prince of Wales might be easier than he'd anticipated.

Love At First Bark by everwitch

“I still don’t know your name, do I?” Henry watches Alex where he’s crouched down in front of David and gently scratching David below his chin. David absolutely loves Alex. Henry can relate. “It’s David,” Henry supplies. “Cool,” Alex says. “And what’s the dog’s name?” Henry blinks at him. “... David?” “What?” Alex exclaims. He looks from David to Henry and then back at David again. “Wow, okay, that is a choice.” Henry wants to sink through the earth and never come back up again.

don't let me get drunk again by headabovethewater

Alex had never wanted to cancel plans as much as he had while watching Henry pull a pair of light wash, tight jeans over his stockinged legs and bare ass. Christ, he’s getting hard thinking about it now.

The Beginner's Guide to Floristry by clottedcreamfudge

As if there's anything romantic about it; as if it's not the most humiliating death Alex can imagine. This is why he doesn't do relationships. This is why he never will. The risk, as far as he fucking sees it, is too great. -- Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible.

Everything you take, you make it better. So go on, take forever by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

It's 2024, and nobody knows they're engaged. But they will, just as soon as Alex can decide what to wear to his birthday dinner. Henry has an idea and a special gift to match.

false pretenses by rizcriz

Henry spins around, glaring at Alex. “For christs sake,” He hisses, holding a hand out between them. “Can we just not? I do not have the capacity to pretend to hate you today.” Alex splutters as Henry turns on his heel and starts to walk away. He stares after him helplessly. “Pretend?” After a beat, he starts to follow after him, “What the fuck do you mean pretend?” Three years of breathing down each others necks, fighting every time they come in contact with each other. And if Henry is saying every single thing on his end has been pretend, Alex Claremont-Diaz is going to have a fucking breakdown. Because he has been harboring this stupid fucking crush and burying it beneath false antagonism, meeting Henry where he’s at, for three years, and if Henry is implying that they’re both faking it— -- or, Alex learns better.

turn the desert to glass (you would be the one) by @taste-thewaste

Henry and Alex's domestic bliss has lead to some changes in Henry's body. Henry doesn't really mind being a little chubby, but he wonders if Alex does. Alex, it turns out, does not. Not one bit. He does not mind one bit, and he is more than eager to prove it.

coming on fast like good dreams do by cricketnationrise

When Henry recovers from his unexpected factory reset, he still can’t really breathe properly and somehow Alex is still standing in front of him with a hopeful and excited expression on his face. “Run that by me again?” he asks faintly. “I need your help.” “Right…” “I need you to edge me. Like a lot,” Alex says with a shrug. Nope, it’s not any clearer a second time around.

as always, let me know if you want to be tagged in future lists, whether you're a reader or writer!

tagging @starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp @sarahjswift @enablelove

[lunalucykat]

what's your favorite thing about your favorite character?

Crazy ask tbh!! Cause this gives me free rein to talk about any favorite character in anything and that's so many options!!!

(Also I've been sat here staring at this question in my inbox for a week cause I was like, who do I even choose??? lol)

After a long and hard deliberation I said, Fuck it! Might as well pick the characters that I have been rotating in my head for the past few months. Sorry I'm gonna be a little One Piece lover for a minute because legit the storylines are SO good and I love SO many of the characters!

I'm gonna give love to the ASL brothers because I love each and every one of them so much (even though I haven't even met Sabo, but I know about him, so it's chill lol)

One Piece spoilers below if you care, also I anticipate this getting absurdly long lmao

Like, I am actually sorry how long this got, cause I went off on some tangents. But if you give me a platform to talk about One Piece I am Going to TALK about One Piece (and, I think, get off prompt way too often.) That being said, I am still REALLY sorry about the WALL of text. You don't have to - nor should you - read this whole thing. orz

Ah, yes. The Age, Sex, Location brothers (lmao I feel like this joke shows my age cause I would make this joke, but TJ would make the joke as: the Am.erican Sign Language Brothers.)

This is definitely more than you asked for because you asked what is your favorite thing about your favorite character, but I'm doing things about characters, so... sorry lol!

Sibling characters are so important to me in general, and any group of siblings are usually gonna be some of my favorites (e.g. Sand Siblings from Naruto.) I have two older siblings and one younger so that might contribute to why, but I usually love the dynamics. And I love these guys all separately and as a package deal.

Ace- TBH what's not to love about Ace? He is the epitome of cool! Everybody wants to be him (or maybe I'm just projecting, but GOD he's so cool!) He is Literally The Cool Older Brother, and I love that for him. He also sort of has the cowboy look too, so that gives him bonus points lol!

Something I really love about Ace is that he loves so fiercely and it's obvious in everything he does. It's the way he's protective over Luffy and makes sure he gives his baby brother some way to find him again if he ever needs. But it's also the way he freaks out when he realizes said baby brother comes to rescue him when he's in a dire situation. He definitely has eldest child vibes in that regard; giving help but not accepting help. It feels like a very eldest sibling thing to do. It's also the way he adamantly refuses to call his biological father his dad, and insists that his father is Whitebeard because he was the man who took him in and cared for him as his son. He literally states it to the world. He loves Whitebeard and won't let anybody tell him that he's not his father.

He is literally all about his family. And that feels stupid to say cause this whole show is about found/ forged families, but Ace wears his heart on his sleeve and isn't afraid to show just how much he loves his family, not only in his actions and words, but also in the things he wears. He's so sentimental that he keeps all of his most precious people with him in some sort of memento. (Some of these are more canonical than others, but most of them you can read a certain way and it makes sense, so bear with me).

The most obvious (and canon) is his back tattoo which is Whitebeard's symbol. He literally calls it his pride and displays it as such. That's his father, and he is happy to show it off. (I don't know if these next few are canonically correct, but the vast majority of fans agree on their symbolism connecting to his other family members.) The red beads around his hat and necklace are the same as the ones his foster mom, Dadan, wears, so they're likely a memento to remember her by. The next one I think has a lot of legitimacy to it, because for some reason I think some people still don't believe it, but the X'd out S in his arm tattoo ASCE is to remember Sabo by. (Textual evidence for this is the "what if" cover story Oda drew where the brothers were never separated and in that scenario Ace's arm tattoo it literally just written as ACE.) The X through the S I think has a double meaning because when he got it Sabo was presumed dead so it could be crossed out because his younger brother was gone, but also the X through the S could be because that was Sabo's mark. Like, it was his jolly roger when he set out to sea. Some people also like to say the little buttons on Ace's hat resemble a goggle-like appearance to mimic Sabo's goggles on his top hat, which I think is cute, but maybe not as legitimate lol. That just leaves Luffy. I'm not gonna lie, there's not a lot on his design that points specifically to Luffy, probably because he was confident he'd see him around. But if we wanna stretch we could say maybe his hat symbolizes Luffy (and probably Sabo too). He got a hat so he could join his little brothers' cool hat club lmao!!

The Symbolism on this boy goes WILD!!! He LITERALLY wears his heart on his sleeve, or back, or around his neck, or his arm, or his head lol!

I also love that he's also susceptible to sibling dumbassery. I'm talking about that shit where you're polite and respectable towards peers and shit, but the moment you're around your siblings you revert to little gremlin mode. Cause Ace met all the Strawhats and was like "Hello, yes, nice to meet you. I am Luffy's respectable older brother, thank you so much for taking care of him all this time, I know he's a lot to handle :)" But when he was alone with Luffy literally 5 minutes ago he was like "What's up fucker? Wanna arm wrestle you little bitch baby?" It's hilarious. I love it.

Also his character design is hot! What can I say? lol! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sabo- I am actually insane about Sabo and it makes no sense cause I haven't even met the dude yet! Like, I'm looking for some excuse to change my icon to him but it's going to be like at least 3 whole arcs until I meet him so idk lol (that probably won't stop me lmao! Sanji's days are numbered lol)

So I haven't technically met Sabo yet, but I do know a bit about him (because my brain decided to snatch him up into my "3 more of these little blonde bitches club [consists of Sanji, Sabo, and Rosinante/Corazon (WHOM I ALSO HAVEN'T MET BUT I LOVE HIM)]" and now I know more about him than I did like 4 months ago) so I'll talk about what I do know.

Erm, it's him being the middle child (as a middle child myself I heavily fuck with middle children characters.) As a kid he looks mostly well-adjusted and like, the peacekeeper of the three, but as a young adult he looks literally so unhinged, and that's the middle child experience babeeeyyyyyyyyy!!! (I'm only half kidding lol)

I also headcannon him as aroace. It's so easy to do that with any of Oda's characters tbh because he doesn't really focus on romance (which I'm thrilled about, because it means he's most likely not gonna do that thing that every mangaka does that everyone fucking hates which is to pair off characters who have no chemistry together or never interacted in canon, but they get married in the end just because he needs everyone to end up with someone and have a family in order to continue the story, but with the kids this time! I am literally looking at Naruto. Cause when the fuck did Choji and Karui ever interact? Literally never. Also, God. Don't EVEN get me started with Sasuke and Sakura.) ANYWAY!!!!! The way Oda writes his story makes it easy to headcannon characters as aroace, and I do with Sabo at least cause I'm also aroace and he's one of my favies, so.... rejoice! Aroace be upon ye! :) Idk, he just gives the vibe :) Also it's funny to make the joke that they're all "Ace."

He's also got that steampunk drip. Love that for him. Go whiteboy, go! Not only does he dress like he's smart, but I'm almost CERTAIN he IS the smartest of the three brothers. I mean like, he probably has similar qualities about him that he shares with Ace and Luffy in terms of general dumbassery, but he definitely gives the vibe that he Knows what the fuck he's doing. Probably helps that I'm pretty sure he was the only one of the three that received a proper education lol. But I love the potential for the duality of him ping-ponging between being really smart and doing something really dumb and reckless.

I think Sabo was the softer of the older brothers. Like, Ace wanted to check in on Luffy and make sure he was okay and everything, but also he and Luffy seemed rougher towards each other (literally arm wrestling upon first meeting again after 3 years of not seeing each other.) Sabo gives the vibe that instead of armwrestling upon seeing each other, he would instead give hugs. I LOVE soft interactions with siblings just as much as I love interactions with them roasting the shit out of each other, and I think Sabo brings the softness needed. I mean, had he and Ace interacted in their early 20s I think there would definitely be sibling ribbing, but I guess I'll never know that for sure :) :) :) I'd've loved to see it though! :) :) :)

But at least Sabo can be soft and baby the baby brother. And you know what? Luffy deserves hugs! And I'm sure Sabo does too! And hell! Throw Ace in there too! He also deserves hugs!

He's also part of the Revolutionary Army, that much I know for sure, so he is absolutely out there doing some much needed shit (Luffy also does liberation every now and then, but he doesn't exactly go out of his way to do it like the R.A. does, he more happens upon it as he goes lol) And we've already met some cool-ass R.A. members (IVA!!!), so he's in good company. Also - side tangent - but Luffy adopted him as his brother, Garp adopted him as his grandson, and Dragon essentially adopted him as a son, so all I'm sayin' is..... Monkey D. Sabo?????? (eyes emoji) [I'm on desktop so I can't do emojis]

Anyway! Can't wait to meet Sabo! Can't wait to see him be absolutely baller!! Can't wait for him to see Luffy again!!! Can't wait to find more reasons to love him than the bare minimum I know about him!!!!

Luffy- Luffy is literally The best MC of any shōnen anime ever and nothing can change my mind about that. I have watched nearly 500 episodes of One Piece and Luffy is one of my top favorite characters, and that says something cause the MC's are usually never even close to my top favorites. Ever.

Like, I watched all 720 episodes of Naruto, and Team 7 (Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura) are some of my least favorite guys in the show, I'm not gonna lie!! Like, I don't hate Naruto or Sakura, but because of their obsession with Sasuke (worst character, sorry Sasuke stans) it makes them SO boring to me. (I could so easily rant about Naruto, but this isn't about him lol, but I'm just sayin' you hit Shippuden and he gets real dull. And just to compare- 500 episodes of Naruto counts the first 220 from the original and then 280 of Shippuden so 500 in is a little over halfway through Shippuden, so I was basically over Naruto as an MC by then. ANYWAY! Enough about him!)

There's so much to love about Luffy. He comes out of the gate being Iconic as fuck in episode 1 and he STAYS that way! He stays that way but he also grows, but even after character growth moments he stays the same goofy guy in the end and I love that! He has a death grip around embodying joyous whimsy. It probably helps that he starts his journey already knowing who he is and what he wants. There is little in the way of self-doubt, and I love the confidence he has in himself and his dream and in others.

I also love that sometimes he's a little rude-ass! Okay, well he's blunt, so sometimes he comes off as rude, but it's funny as fuck. I also love that he displays many AuDHD symptoms, it makes him feel more relatable in some ways.

He's also just so emotionally intelligent. I mean, can he read the room most of the time? Not to save his goddamn life! But is he a great judge of character? Always. He is a ride or die homie! He often feels overly optimistic, but he's also so realistic in those tougher situations or decisions he has to make and I appreciate that kind of depth in a character, and it's SO important for an MC to have those traits! He knows when it's okay to be silly and when he HAS to be serious. And he doesn't mind relying on his friends!!! I see so many main characters insisting they can do something on their own, but Luffy admits time and time again that he DOES need to rely on his friends because they have skills he doesn't! He lifts others up and values them for the qualities they don't always see in themselves! I love him so much.

HE IS ASEXUAL!!! Like it's actually been very heavily implied and there is contextual evidence for it in canon. For example: he has these interactions with Boa Hancock whose Devil Fruit power turns horny people to stone (yeah), and when she tried using it on Luffy LITERALLY nothing happens to him. Aro/Ace King!!! (Again, I'm also aroace so that's why this scores big points with me!) Luffy will never go to horny jail, and good for him!

I also think there is a subtle but noticeable shift in his behavior when his brothers are around (well I can only really use Ace as an example here). But in a different way than Ace, because Luffy is the baby. Like Ace goes gremlin mode, and I think Luffy slips a bit into baby mode. It's harder to see the difference because Luffy is always kind of silly, but when Ace was around he feels a little more like he's clinging to his brother in a way. And to be fair Ace sort of lets him. Like in Alabasta before Luffy realized Ace was there, he was doing his damndest to use the one braincell he has to think through his predicament when encountering Smoker, even if it meant just running away from a fight he probably wanted to have but knew he couldn't win so he didn't engage. But the moment Ace stepped in and told Luffy not to worry about Smoker he was kind of like "oh yippie! :) Okay! Yayyy! <3" and just did what big bro said.

Idk how he'd be with Sabo, but I think he'd be even MORE of a baby around him because I feel like Sabo would let him get away with it more than Ace would.

Anyway!

I just like imagining the siblings having fun and doing sibling things together and everyone is happy and alive :) I love them! I I love the potential! I love what we could have haaaaaaaaaaad!!!!

Sorry this is so long. I love One Piece if you couldn't tell. And this could've been WAY longer. I really, really tried to hold back. But, erm, Your Honor, I love One Piece... I know some crimes can never be forgiven -_-'

[doll-elvis]

I AGREE SO MUCH ABOUT CHILD BRIDE. i went into it knowing nothing about the author, and in the forward shes really emphasizing how crazily obsessed she was with priscilla so i guess i was expecting it to be a sympathetic view of her��� definitely not. what is suzzanes problem dear lord. shes so convinced and desperate to tell you that priscilla was some evil teenaged succubus out for rockstar blood. jesus christ. like girl even if she actually was who gives a shit????? same goes for currie grant. i dont care if he showed the author concrete evidence on a golden platter that he was telling the truth. hes just such an obvious sleazeball. just disgusting……. and she dedicates like 300 chapters to him saying over and over again that he fucked 14yo priscilla and that she was into it. babe they couldve had a steamy decade-long affair and NOBODY would care because he is literally just some random creep ass loser 13 years older than her. and when it comes to his attempted rape of her hes literally like “no i didnt try to rape her i just [decribes attempting to rape her]”. i really dont know suzzanes backstory but she is insane.

but uh. anyways that aside i did enjoy parts of the book for the more in depth view of the story. like suzzanne has such intense bias that really shows throughout but even with that it was still a great way to understand some of the situations a little better… i wish elvis and me was a little more detailed but i can appreciate how and why it is. and i am strangely curious about the actual nature of priscilla and curries relationship (i dont think they ever had consensual sex but i do believe he attacked her before elvis left germany and that leaves me curious as to why she still hung around him afterwards... i.e. those pictures of her to send to elvis that he took)

sorry for the huge wall of text im just.... very .. intrigued? by the book? its just so bizarre and raises a lot of questions lol.

“Currie’s like “No I didn’t try to r*pe her I just [describes atttempting to r*pe her]”

YES THANK YOU!!

if I could, in my own words, summarize the transcript of the conversation between Priscilla & Currie it would be this ⬇️

Currie: I didn’t r*pe you

Priscilla: You forced yourself on me

Currie: I didn’t force anything, you just weren’t into it

Priscilla: So you didn’t try to kiss me?

Currie: Well yeah I was trying to kiss you, you just wouldn’t kiss me back. You were very cold

again that was just my own words so not the actual transcript but that is exactly what I got out of that conversation- which is Currie denying he forced anything on her while simultaneously describing just how unresponsive she was to his advances, so THANK YOU for articulating that perfectly

He is an absolute sleaze-ball as you said, and clearly did not realize he was incriminating himself throughout that whole exchange

like even if Currie’s version of the events were true (I highly doubt it), he still committed statutory r*pe. Perhaps Suzanne and him don’t understand the age of consent but a fourteen year old girl cannot consent to intercourse, so anything he may or may not have actually done to her is still R*PE, whether she seemed willing or not. I’m completely abhorred that a biographer would give a man like that such a large platform and not only that, but agree/go with the story he tells- I’m sickened by it

and god, his reasoning as to why he wouldn’t need to r*pe Priscilla is just the most insane thing I’ve ever read ⬇️

“I had at least ten girls that I could call any night and go have sex with them,” countered Currie. “I’m not bragging—at least ten. I didn’t need to rape anybody ”

excerpt is from “Child Bride” by Suzanne Finstad

okay like?? Ted Bundy had a longtime girlfriend and yet he still went out and s*xually assaulted and murdered women… what’s your point, Currie?

what also bothers me is that Suzanne Finstad is sitting on the full audio tapes of that conversation between Priscilla and Currie, and knowing her history of misquoting people and writing things that don’t line up with other testimonies, I wouldn’t be surprised in the very least if parts of that tape have been conveniently left out, or transcribed wrong, as she converted it from audio to text

like the whole 1961 photoshoot, as you mentioned, is something that I just wish I could hear Priscilla explain for herself

Priscilla Presley and Currie Grant in 1961

It does raise the question if what she said transpired was true why would she ever want to be alone with Currie again, and better yet, why would Elvis willingly put her in a situation like that?

Especially when he was aware of the attempted r*pe ⬇️

MARTY LACKER: “There was a guy who used to bring Priscilla around to Elvis’s house some, over there in Germany. He would take her home to her parents’ place, and then he’d go back to the barracks. Well, he was a scumbag. He was using cute little girls to get into the house, to be around Elvis. And he tried to put the make on Priscilla one night when he took her home. She says in her book that he tried to rape her. But he didn’t succeed. Elvis told us about it, himself”

excerpt is from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” by Alanna Nash

The only explanation in my mind that makes sense is that perhaps Currie Grant was Elvis’ only remaining contact in Germany- or at least the only person in contact with Priscilla- and since he was so desperate to see her again, maybe thought that the reward outweighed the risk

And obviously a 15-year-old Priscilla was still reeling over him leaving Germany and would likely agree to anything to please him…plus since it was Elvis who asked Currie to take the photos, maybe she thought if Elvis trusted him to do that, she could trust him as well ?

And although I doubt she intended too, Suzanne inadvertently said something similar when trying to do one of those logical fallacies that she does throughout the duration of “Child Bride” ⬇️

“Priscilla, despite her claim that Currie tried to rape her, was thrilled to oblige, “desperate” for word from Elvis, through Currie”

excerpt is from “Child Bride” by Suzanne Finstad

I feel like Suzanne is basically answering the dilemma herself despite her attempt to point out the inconsistency in Priscilla’s behavior (her being afraid of Currie, but also being around him)

Priscilla was willing to be photographed by her attempted assaulter as she was desperate for contact from Elvis and Currie just happened to be that link between them

and I have to say, my original response to the ask that I received about “Child Bride” was something that I was worried about posting as many of the more passionate anti-Priscilla crowd tend to treat it like it’s their Bible but WHEW- I am beyond relieved that so many people have also seen just how outrageous that book is, especially the narrative that Suzanne Finstad goes with- like as you said, trying to make a fourteen-year-old Priscilla out to be some “teenaged succubus” LMAOOO (that took me out 💀)

I honestly consider myself to be Priscilla-neutral despite what some people assume of me based on some my posts 🤧 and so because of that, I am very open to reading and discussing the valid criticisms against her HOWEVER- I have no time in my day to take someone like Currie Grant seriously so that is why the first half of “Child Bride” (chapters about Germany and what fourteen-year-old Priscilla may or may not have done) are just what ruin the whole book for me

And it’s a shame because again, there are some very valid things that Suzanne points out about Priscilla, especially the things that were left out of “Elvis and me”; like her inconsistencies in recalling certain events, her sometimes questionable character (treatment of others), her possible greed (suing and more suing) and the biggest one to me- her involvement in Scientology… but all of that is just dampered by Suzanne’s god awful commentary and god awful judgement

also girl please do not apologize for sending this in- I sincerely thank you for adding to the conversation about this book as I think these kinds of discussions are so beneficial and I’m just truly grateful to be able to have them with y’all- I’ve fr learned so much from your guys’ insight

and since there is such a surplus of information about Elvis (and Priscilla), I feel like the best way to navigate through it all is by breaking it down like this, and so if y’all ever want to talk about another book feel free to send in your thoughts <3!!!

[apollo-the-frog]

im just gonna make a list of my favorite rwrb quotes

(sorry for any mistakes)

"you decided to put your dick into the heir to the british throne" zahra says, as she is actively pegging the equerry to the heir to the british throne

"HRH PRICE DICKHEAD💩"

to alex from henry

("is alex claremont diaz going to be a father?" news) 

to alex

"but we were ever so careful dear"

The turkey /cornbread knows my sins, 

Henry 

-alex

(I totaly... Privately called that)

-nora abt henry kissing alex

(I have no idea what a maypole is... Are they known for their homosexual tendencies?)-alex

"Who says make love anymore? Are we gonna like... Listen to Lana del Rey while we do it?) -alex

"everytime I see you it takes another year off of my life" -zahra after she sees henry in alexs closet 

[ALEX READING ONE LAST STOP]

"it's like there's a rope attached to my chest and its pulling me towards you"

-alex on the dock with henry

"if you want me to leave you'll have to tell me to leave"-alex at the palace after henry ghosted him

(WHEN THEY WRITE THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE I WANT IT TO INCLUDE YOU. And my LOVE FOR YOU!!)

-alex (i think) at the museum at night

"HISTORY, HUH? 

BET WE COULD MAKE SOME"

-alex at the museum at night

(and I'm not gonna get any work done until you let these lovesick homosexuals on the phone with one another) -zahra on the phone to shaan after email leaks (the lovesick homosexuals are alex and henry)

"the phrase 'see attached bibliography' is the single sexiest thing youve ever writen to me"-henry (i think) in emails

"Sugar, I cannot express to you how much the press does not give a fuck about who started what," Ellen says. "As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn't your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term."-ellen claremont, after the cake incident 

“You and me and history, remember? We’re just gonna fucking fight. Because you’re it, okay? I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. So, I promise you, one day we’ll be able to just be, and fuck everyone else.”-alex, after email leaks

HRH Prince Dickhead @

You are the thistle in the tender

and sensitive arse crack of my life.

Text from Alex:

yo there’s a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe?

Text from Henry HRH Prince Dickhead:

I BEG YOU TO NOT

A: "You are gonna go be, like, five hundred feet away from me for the rest of the night, or else I am going to do something that I will deeply regret in front of a lot of very important people."

-after alex and henry make out in the red room

"O, fathers of my bloodline! O, ye kings of olde! Take this crown from me, bury me in my ancestral soil. If only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when American boys with chin

dimples are mean to him."-henry in emails writing a story abt them to alex

"Christ, you're as thick as it gets," he says, and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.

“I don’t give a damn what Joanne has to say, Remus John Lupin is gay as the day is long, and I won’t hear a word against it.”-(henry i think) in texts

"The next slide is titled: EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?"

-ellen claremont, the powerpoint presentation 

"Sometimes you just jump and hope it's not a  cliff."(idk who said that but i think henry)

"Wait. Zahra. Oh my God. I just realized. You're... my friend." "No, I'm not." "Zahra, you're my mean friend." "Am not."-alex (idk when)

"I've been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Phillip."-henry, with the queen

"Diaz, you insane, hopeless romantic little shit, says the voice of the President of the United States, muffled in the bed. "It had better be forever. Be safe"-ellen claremont, on voicemail 

oh shit i forgot the agenst the walls one sorry 😢

if you know the page # or character/time mistakes put in tags :)

[one-time-i-jumped-off-a-cliff]

(also jumping in here bc i love talking about dance too dkfjlsd) that's so cool! do you do pointe? how did you start? - amber

okAY SO

i’ve been doing ballet since i was maybe three or four idk my birthdays halfway through the school year but i started because i was a very clumsy kid (tbh not much has changed on that front my balance is still shit but what can you do) and literally turns always have been, still are, and hopefully always will be my favorite thing to do. i got a featured role for my class last year which i’m highkey really proud of because im at least a year younger than the two other girls who got it with me and landed a triple pirouette both performances (which was TERRIFYING because i’d kept missing it before the show) side note my cousin also does dance and her studio does nutcracker every year and the last two years she was there/in highschool she got candy cane and did anywhere from 21-28 fouettés en pointe every show which,,,, how,,,,, she was like sixteen,,,,, (she’s going to college for dance so like that worked out ig) also we, as i mentioned, are a tiny studio so i’ve been with roughly the same group of people since i was about seven or eight and since there’s only seven of us we have to wait until everyone’s ready to get on softblocks which was supPOSED to be this year but whatever and then once at least two girls are ready for pointe my teacher starts specialized classes so i’m not there yet but hopefully next year!! also i skipped a couple levels when i was like six or seven plus the only other girl in my grade moved over the summer so i am the only freshman in the entire studio which is fUn but i’m supposed to be with a bunch of sophomores and juniors this year which is !!!! but also stressful because oh my god some of them are so fucking good but we’re all friends so it’s chill. flexibility has also always been a strong suit (i got my splits at six or seven maybe? which isn’t that impressive compared to some of the kids i’ve seen that compete and stuff but it wasn’t really a thing we emphasized that much at that age so it was a little bit of a big deal) but in quarantine and with my knee i’ve apparently lost the ability to do right splits without my hip rolling under so whoops ig? honestly jazz isn’t my favorite but like it can be fun depending on the routine. tap. TAP. i fucking love tap. it takes me so much longer to get the hang of than the other two but JESUS IT’S SO MUCH FUN. we had a really, really good number for the recital this year that i was actually really really sad that we didn’t get to do because it was really really fast and took forever to learn but it was so worth it and so much fun and i hope we get the chance to perform it at some point. oh! another thing we do is in the winter, my town has a parade thing just,,,,, for the winter and the oldest class gets to have like an actual performance and it’s been a thing for i think at least twenty years so it’s basically once you’re in kickline you’re officially like one of The Big Kids that was another thing happening for me this year but corona! but i’ve performed with my group for five or so years (my teacher has modified/easier dances she has some of the younger classes perform if she has enough people that year) so we’ve gotten like a bit of a taste of what it’s like (also the Earrings of Death which are these swarovski crystal clip-ons we have to wear and they hurt so bad) and did i mention that this event/performance/thing involves doing kickline down an entire parade route in extremely thin outfits in december and also two inch heels because that’s a thing. that i’ve done. for the past five years. it’s lowkey a form of torture. but in any case it is really fun once you go numb from the cold and can no longer feel anything. this has deviated from ballet so i’ll stop now but thank you very much for the opportunity to scream i appreciate it a lot!!!!!!!!!!

[xoxo-teddybear]

Cheater? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: fake cheating, cursing, angst, fluff, crack

Summary: PRANK WARS!! After coming to the conclusion that his own girlfriend pulls better pranks than him and has been one up-ing a lot recently, Katsuki decided to break their unspoken rule and pull a cheating prank

A/N: I recommend reading this fic as a continuation of this fic. It’s about Y/N’s revenge.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“I don’t know who the fuck is listening right now, but I, Katsuki fucking Bakugou, am begging whatever heavenly body, god, spiritual being, whatever the fuck it could be, to ensure that my girlfriend does not leave my dumbass for pulling this prank. Thank you, bless.”

Bakugou kept his eyes shut with his palms pressed together in a praying motion for the longest time while he spoke to something to protect his relationship. When he was done, he took a breather and got up from the shared bed. He took out the camera and set it up behind Y/N’s makeup stuff to hide it and began to put his prank into action.

A few hours ago he had Kirishima pretend to be a girl and had his best friend flirt with him through text. This went on for some time to make sure that if you were to scroll through his conversation, you’d find a lot of messages. At the end of the texts, Bakugou had Kirishima find a random pic online of some random girl’s ass and had the red head sent it. Bakugou answered it with a very flirtatious text, which had Kirishima send a very cutesy, appreciated reply in a very girly matter, which ended the conversation. Bakugou changed his friend’s name to some random name, Kiyoko, and finished the job. Yes, the two friends were very uncomfortable doing this whole thing.

With the camera now recording, all Bakugou needed to begin his prank was his prized possession. You.

—

Bakugou and you were cuddling on the king sized bed. You both were just talking about whatever while Katsuki remained on his phone. You didn’t see it yet, but Katsuki was “texting” his friend. In reality, he was just waiting for you to look up at his screen to notice the scandalous texts he and this “Kiyoko” were having.

“Baby?” You asked while looking at your pretty acrylics.

“Yes baby?” Bakugou said while still looking at his phone. He had his arm wrapped around you while you layed on him with your cheek on his chest.

“Ion know...I love you baby,” you said in the cutest voice. Bakugou could only make a face of extreme awe to appreciate his precious girlfriend.

“I love you too Teddy Bear,” he said. You lifted your head to smile at him but you took notice of how he was still staring at his phone.

You pouted before smirking and climbing up to come face to face with him. You got in between him and his phone and grabbed his face with both hands. He smiled at you before you leaned down to peck his lips multiple times. Once you were done you tucked your head under his chin and looked to the side, just enjoying the moment. He kissed the crown of your head before going back to “texting.”

At the sound of him pressing random things on the keyboard, your pout returned. “Baby~ Pay attention to me!!” You whined.

You removed your head out from under his chin and layed your head next to his. You looked at his phone and saw a ‘thank you’ with a kissy face emoji from a “Kiyoko” before Katsuki switched the screen to some random game. “Who’s Kiyoko?”

“Hm?” Katsuki asked, pretending to be oblivious.

“Who’s Kiyoko? You were just on a text chat with her, why is she sending you a kissy face?” You asked with a little more attitude. You tried to take the phone out of his hand but he pulled it away.

“She’s just a friend, babe.” Bakugou said.

“Okay, well if she’s just a friend then why can’t I see?” You questioned.

“Because there’s nothing to see.”

“She sent you a kissy face. That’s something I’d like to see.” You said while easily taking his phone out of his hand.

“Babe, no.” He said and took the phone back. “Shes just a friend.” You took the phone back and he tried to grab it again before you held the phone away at a distance to make sure he couldn’t grab it. “Babe. Noo, stooppp.”

“If she’s just a friend then why’re you trying to hide it?” You asked with the phone still far away and him attempting to reach for it.

“Cuz we’re about to go out and-“

“What the fuck?!” You said as you looked to the texts. You froze in your position as you brought the phone closed and scrolled through the texts, stumbling upon the picture. Bakugou tried to take the phone away from you but failed (on purpose.)

“She just wanted an opinion,” he tried explaining.

“An opinion?!” You asked while sitting up and pushing him off of you. “She sent you a booty pic with you complimenting her and shit. And you’re over here calling her babe!”

“It’s not like that-“

“Then what the fuck is it like Katsuki?!” You asked. You went back to the text and reread some of the messages out loud. “‘Bet you enjoyed it when I wrecked you last night, Relax Princess Y/N’s never gonna find out, I love you Kiyoko-‘ Are you fucking serious?!” You said with a cracked voice as you looked at him.

He put on a small smile for the act but on the inside it hurt him to see you like this, but the prank would prevail. “Baby, calm down.”

“I’m not gonna calm down Katsuki, you’re cheating on me!” You continued to go on and on about how pissed you were and Katsuki was struggling to hold back his laughs. He eventually got up to run to the downstairs bathroom so he could let out his chuckles. “Where the fuck are you going?! We’re not done with this conversation!”

Bakugou said nothing as he ran to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. He bursted out in laughter as he crouched over due to all the excitement. He looked in the mirror and ruffled his hair a bit as he remembered the way you looked. The sad you would’ve made his heart ached but the angry you just made him laugh and kind of turned him on in a way.

After getting all his giggles out, he calmed down and got back into character. He opened the door to the bathroom only to see you walking down the stairs with your jacket and shoes on, carrying a small bag. “Baby?”

At the sound of his voice you only looked his way with a mean glare as you continued your walk to the front door. Bakugou ran to you as fast as he could as worry spilled through his body. “Baby, stop. Where are you going?”

“Get the fuck away from me. I’m done, we’re done. I’m going.” You said with a cold voice. Bakugou ran in front of you and held onto your arms as he pushed you back further into the house but you fought against his hold.

“Y/N, stop. It was just a prank.” Bakugou whined.

“Like I fucking believe that.” You said while trying to pry his hands off of you. Bakugou whimpered as he grew worried and felt himself getting choked up. He could feel the tears approaching but held them back. He could still save himself.

“Baby please. Come back upstairs, I’ll show you the camera!” He begged but you finally got his hands off of you as you ran to the door. You ran out the door and Bakugou grew frantic as he ran to the room to get the camera. When he came back down and ran out to the front to show you, you had already backed out of the driveway and were driving down the street. “Y/N!”

Bakugou ran back upstairs and into the bedroom to find his phone on the bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

He was quick to find your number and call you but you declined it. He called again a few more times and like before, you declined them. He called you so much that eventually, you stopped declining them and just began to straight up ignore them. This led to Bakugou leaving voicemails.

“Baby? Please pick up it was just a prank.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, I swear it was a prank! Please come back home!”

“Please come back Y/N! It was just a joke, none of it was real! Please answer me.”

“Baby, please come back. I love you.”

When he realized you weren’t going to answer, he opened up the messages with Kirishima and changed his name back before calling him.

“Hello?”

“Kirishima!” Bakugou said and his friend could practically hear the tears. “Prank went wrong! Went so wrong! Y/N fucking left! She didn’t even give me a chance to explain!”

Bakugou began hyperventilating as he tugged at his hair and looked around. He didn’t even focus on what Kirishima was saying as he looked around the once shared bedroom. He went through the closet and saw some of your clothes and shoes missing. Some of your makeup was off the vanity and when Bakugou looked to the nightstand to see the smashed picture frame that held the image of you both on your third year anniversary, he began sobbing.

“Please! Just fucking call her to explain! That’s all!”

“Alright, I’ll do it. Don’t worry, okay?” His friend replied to which Bakugou only hung up. He had every right to worry. His dumbass was about to lose you. Bakugou sat back down on the bed as he cried into his hands some more. He looked at himself in the large mirror hanging on the wall before scrunching his face and screaming.

“FUCK!” He shouted and threw something at the wall. He didn’t know what he grabbed, he just knew it broke. Bakugou flopped onto the large bed and cried some more as he waited for something, anything, to happen. But that night, nothing did.

—

3 days had passed and for 3 days Bakugou had constantly been calling you, your friends, your family, anybody he could do that he could reach you. He had constantly been crying and regretting pulling that stupid, stupid prank. It wasn’t worth losing you.

For the past few days, Kirishima had been checking up on Katsuki. He had been coming over a few times a day by using the hidden house key you both left under a rock on at the house entrance. On the third day, Bakugou told him to stop coming by and that he wanted to be by himself.

—

Bakugou had been hallowing in sadness on the bed until he heard the door open. He sighed again and walked to this bedroom door. On his way there he took notice of his appearance in the mirror and even though he was in the dark, he still saw his red, puffy eyes and tired face. He finally opened the door and walked to the living room so he could ward off his pesky friend.

“Shitty Hair, I told you that I didn’t wa-“ his eyes popped open at the sight he saw in the living room. He froze on the spot but felt immediate relief. “Y/N!”

“...Hi Katsuki,” you said in a soft voice. Bakugou smiled and instantly ran to you to pull you in for a tight hug. He squeezed you tight and grew joyous when he felt you softly hug him back.

“I missed you so much! I’m so fucking sorry, it was just a prank I swe-“

“Katsuki! I know, okay? Kirishima told Mina and she told me everything.” You explained and pushed him off slightly so you could face him. He nodded in understanding and you took note of his red eyes and nose. You sighed before speaking. “This is why we don’t pull pranks like this Katsuki!”

He sadly chuckled at you reprimanding him but nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah...I’m so sorry, Baby.”

“You should be! I almost actually left you!” You said with a little pout. Bakugou sadly laughed with relieved tears in his eyes as he held you.

“I know. I swear I won’t do anything like this again.” He promised.

“You better not.” You said, squished against his chest. You leaned up and kissed his cheek before you dragged him to the couch. You and Bakugou spent the rest of the day making up and cuddling. Everything felt so right again and Bakugou definitely learned his lesson.

A/N: not spell checked, sorry! Ummm…THIS KINDA SUCKED😭🤣

Tag list : @sxcker4you @aomi04 @tessabrown101 @ebiharachan @is-this-ash @iris-shihabi @sxturn-stars @isolight

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[kirishimaswife2819]

 Wrong || Katsuki Bakugou x Reader (Birthday fic)

Masterlist 1 || Masterlist 2

↠Author’s Note: Hi! I hope you guys like this, I feel like it didn’t turn out how I wanted it to but I still think that it’s okay. Hope you guys like it! -Danielle <3

↠Characters: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

↠Summary: After accidentally distancing yourself from Bakugou to avoid accidentally revealing the secret party you’re planning for him, he assumes the worst and stays late at work because of it, but what happens when he comes home and realizes he was completely wrong?

↠Genre: Angst to fluff

↠Word Count: 2.1k

↠Warnings: None

↠Notes: None

You yawned and rolled over, reaching over to grab onto your husband, but when he wasn’t there, you opened your eyes. His side of the bed was empty, so you looked at the clock and saw the time. You frowned, he should still be in bed, he never left bed that early.

Normally in the mornings, he woke up early for the pure purpose of cuddling you, not that he would admit that out loud though. Plus, he always shook you awake to let you know that he was going to go get ready for work, so you found it even more odd that he didn’t do that either.

“Katsuki!?” You called, and soon enough he entered the bedroom.

“What?” He asked, crossing his arms, dressed in his work clothes.

“Why are you leaving so early?” You asked, sitting up and wiping some sleep from your eyes.

“I have to get to work early,” he replied, “I gotta go, bye.”

“Oh, wait-” you tried, but he already walked out of the bedroom door. You frowned, and considered going after him, but he clearly wasn’t in the mood right then, so you decided to just leave him go. You could tell him happy birthday when he got home from work. Besides, if he went in early, that meant he could come home early and get to come home to the party earlier. In your head, you did the math and concluded that Katsuki should be home around four or five, so you still had plenty of time to get everything set up.

You went back to sleep for a few hours, before finally finding the energy to get up out of bed and continue on with your day.

Bakugou sat at his desk, his pile of paperwork sitting in front of him. He was planning on getting some done since he went in earlier than he was supposed to but he was pissed and didn't want to accidentally burn any of it.

He knew that you had to be cheating on him and he was pissed off. You must not have noticed that he noticed, but you changed your password and took his finger print out of his phone. He also saw you delete a call, he just didn't see who it was.

Little did he know, you were planning a huge party for his thirtieth birthday, and you were just covering your tracks so that he didn't find out about it before it actually happened.

But that wasn't an option in his mind as he sat there, refraining from burning some hand prints into his desk. Eventually he got sick of trying to do paperwork and just went to go let some steam off.

"Okay, everything's set up, now we just need Katsuki," you announced, pressing the last corner of a banner that said "Happy Birthday Katsuki!!" to make it stick to the wall better.

The party was big, but you only invited a few of his close friends, knowing he wouldn't want to see a ton of people on his birthday. So, you just had a lot of stuff to do and his favorite foods there.

"When's he get off work?" Kirishima asked, sitting at your kitchen table.

"Any minute now," you said, glancing at the clock and seeing it was a little past five so he should be home soon. And so you waited.

And waited.

And waited

And then waited some more. Everybody tried calling Katsuki multiple times and every time he either ignored them or picked up and told them he was busy before hanging up the phone again. And to top it all off, he wouldn't even answer your calls, or texts, he either rejected them or straight up ignored them before finally you gave up.

"Are you alright?" Kirishima asked, watching as you messed with the food on your plate. Mina and Sero had to leave since they had work the next day and Denki passed out on the couch. And anybody else that was there also went home.

"I'm fine," you replied, sighed and sitting straight up from your previous position of resting your head on your hand, "You can get Denki and go home."

"Are you sure?" Kirishima asked, frowning, "I can help you clean up if you want. Or I can go see Bakugou and talk to him."

"No, it's fine. Just get Denki and go," you said, "Thanks for helping me set all this up."

"Yeah, you're welcome," Kirishima said, "Are you sure that you're fine?"

"I told you that I was fine, just go!" You snapped and Kirishima looked at you, concerned, but he still got up and went into your living room to go wake Denki up. They left after saying goodbye.

And as soon as you heard the front door slam shut, you broke down, crying into your hands, asking yourself a million questions.

Why hadn't Bakugou come home? Why was he ignoring you? Did he not want to spend his birthday with you?

You didn't know the answer to any of them and that just made you sob harder. You were crying so much, that you didn't even hear your husband enter the house around eleven that night.

As soon as he stepped in, he had to pause to process what was in front of him. And when he did, everything made a whole lot more sense, everything pieced together in his mind.

The deleted calls, password change, you being a bit distant, everything made complete and total sense. He sighed and brought a hand to his forehead, mentally beating himself up for even thinking that you’d do that to him. Of course you wouldn’t, you’ve been married to him for four years, and in those four years you had been the absolute best to him.

He was also mad at himself for forgetting it was his birthday, why didn’t anyone say anything to him at work? Was it because he looked like he was about to explode everything the whole day? Or did they all forget too? Either way, he was pissed off at everybody he worked with for not saying anything all day.

He sighed, eventually bringing his hand away from his forehead and deciding to go get ready for bed. He could apologize to you tomorrow, since he figured you were already asleep, and he would take the day off to spend with you. Just as he was about to make his way down the hall and to the room that you two shared, he heard quiet sobs, coming from the kitchen. 

He furrowed his brows at this and opened the door that led to the kitchen, and he was a bit shocked to find you at the table, sobbing into your hands. His heart was hurting at the fact that you were so upset that you hadn’t even heard him enter the home, or the kitchen for that matter.

Bakugou sighed, before approaching you and gently placing a hand on your shoulder, startling you. You jumped at the sudden contact and immediately turned. You could make out Katsuki’s form through your blurry eyes, but you couldn’t read his expression very well, so you started frantically wiping at your eyes.

“Where the hell have you been?” You questioned, attempting to sound loud and mad but instead you let out a choked sob half way through.

“Y/n, I am so sorry,” Bakugou apologized, which is a pretty rare occurrence but Bakugou knew he fucked up this time, “I totally forgot it was my fucking birthday, and I thought you were cheating on me, and-”

“You...” you interrupted, your voice a bit small and quiet but it still shut Katsuki up, “You what?”

“I thought you were cheating on me,” Bakugou said, and he watched your heart break all over again. He wanted nothing more than to reach out for you and pull you into his arms, but you were pissed and he knew it would probably be better to let you speak your mind before he tried to make it all better.

“You really-” you sniffled, “think that I would do that to you?”

“No, of course not! You’ve just been so secretive, and I guess I assumed the worst. I’m sorry,” Bakugou apologized but you didn’t want to hear any of it. You just walked past him and out of the kitchen without saying a word. Bakugou almost went after you, but he was getting more pissed off every minute, and he didn’t want to accidentally hurt your feelings again, so he settled for slamming his hands down on the counter and yelling out, “God dammit!”

You returned to your room and changed out of your outfit. It was Katsuki’s favorite outfit of yours, so you had worn it for his birthday. You didn’t even bother putting it in the laundry basket and instead just threw it on the floor, before pulling on a t-shirt and some sleeping shorts, and then getting ready for bed. Bakugou remained in the kitchen, thinking about what he should do at this point.

Finally, you were all curled up under your comforter, in your bed, and you let out a few sobs and sniffles before falling asleep, since you were pretty tired out from the day. Eventually Bakugou returned, being careful not to wake you as he entered the bathroom and showered, before getting dressed into his pajamas, which consisted of his t-shirt and his boxers. 

He glanced over at you, and the empty spot beside you. As much as he wanted to cuddle up beside you, he knew he couldn’t. One, you were pissed, and two, he knew he didn’t deserve to sleep with you after what an ass he was. So, he settled for the couch, it wasn’t like it was uncomfy, he could afford a pretty comfortable couch and you guys often napped on it, but it was the fact that you were upset with him that made it so hard for him to sleep that night. 

You opened your eyes, the next morning, to be met with your ceiling, and surprisingly, no sun in your eyes. Normally Katsuki opened the blinds as a way of telling you it was time to get up, but this time they were still closed. But you knew it wasn’t night, since the room was still pretty lit from the light that traveled through the blinds.

And then a smell hit your nose, the smell of your favorite breakfast food. Your brows furrowed at this, shouldn’t Katsuki be at work? And why the hell was he making you food? And then it hit you, the fight, he was doing it to apologize for what he did.

You knew that maybe you were being a little over dramatic but it hurt to spend all day doing something nice for somebody and then have them completely ignore it/not even notice it until later. You heard the bedroom door creak open and you glanced over to see your husband, still dressed in his pajamas, his hair an absolute mess, carrying a tray containing all your favorite breakfast foods.

“Morning, Y/n,” Katsuki greeted you, setting the tray on your nightstand, since you were still laying down, “Can we talk now?”

“Look, I’m sorry,” you apologized.

“Huh?” He replied, confused as to why you were apologizing to him.

“I shouldn’t of been so secretive. I just wanted to surprise you on your birthday, I’m also sorry I just walked away last night and-”

“No, no, no!” Bakugou quickly shut you up, “Don’t you dare fucking apologize to me. I’m the one who fucked up by not talking to you and assuming the worst. And then I forgot about my birthday and ended up hurting your feelings. This is my fault.”

“No, Katsuki, it’s-”

“No, stop it!” Bakugou interrupted again, “Shut up.”

“Fine, how about we both fucked up?” You questioned, and Bakugou grumbled.

“Sure, whatever, will shut you up,” Bakugou replied, and you smiled, sitting up and giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

“Thank you for breakfast, but get over here!” You said, and Katsuki quickly sat down beside you, before letting you position yourself in his lap. Then you reached over and got the tray, setting in your own lap. Soon, the two of you were cuddling and eating. You occasionally reached over your shoulder and offered a bite to your husband, which he took each time. 

After finishing eating, you two ended up cuddled up next to each, and you sighed, happy to finally be alright with Bakugou again.

“Hey, Katsuki,” you asked.

“Hm?”

“Happy late birthday, sorry I didn’t say it yesterday,” you said.

“Thank you, babe. But don’t apologize, it’s my fault you didn’t get too. I love you,” he said, kissing your cheek before your lips.

“Love you too, Katsu.”

Thank you to these two anons for the idea!!! <3

[spencers-renaissance]

dry me off and hold me close

Summary: Derek has finally relented and is bringing his boyfriend Spencer to meet the rest of the team. That means, though, he has to finally tell them about his boyfriend's disability. Terrified that they'll react badly, he puts it off until he can't anymore. Turns out he was worried for nothing.

Tags: so much fluff, protective derek, disabled spencer, caretaker derek, au: spencer is not in the bau, team as family, hurt/comfort, light angst, est. rel, day to day disabled life, physical disability/chronic illness

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 5.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Hello! I am nervous to share this one, I won't lie. It's incredibly personal. It was a pain in the arse to write but I love how it turned out and I hope you do, too. Just a note: this may be triggering for some people - there is description of nausea and severe chronic pain, as well as frequent references to ableism towards wheelchair users.

As soon as Rossi brings up the prospect of a fully-catered family dinner at his ‘mansion’ this weekend, Derek’s heart sinks. They’re on their way home from a pretty gruelling case and it’s well-deserved of course, but he knows what comes next, knows what question will be asked of him, and he’s dreading it. There’s only so long he can go on avoiding answering. 

“Please tell me you’ll finally let us meet Spencer, Derek,” JJ asks, levelling him with a look to rival one of Penelope’s. “At this point I’m starting to think you’ve made him up.” 

Spencer is very real. He’s a very real, very sexy, very intelligent man who Derek has no doubt would get on brilliantly with the team. But Spencer also happens to be disabled. And while his boyfriend has had decades to get to terms with broaching such a sensitive, taboo topic, Derek has not. He’s far from ashamed of Spencer — that’s not it at all — he’s just so protective of him, and the idea of others being touchy or patronising or outright rude around him is an idea he’s never been able to get used to, no matter how many times he’s witnessed it.

Derek’s laugh is strained as he rubs his face awkwardly, trying to find the words to politely decline, but the others are pouncing on him before he can speak. 

“You’ve put it off enough times now, Morgan,” Emily says, siding with JJ. “If he’s even half of what you say he is then we’ll love him. Just bring him along. Rossi doesn’t mind.”

“Oh no, I’m dying to meet the man who could finally tie Derek Morgan, ladies man extraordinaire, down,” Rossi chimes in.

“He definitely sounds like my kind of guy,” Alex agrees. “I’m impressed you managed to land such an educated man, Derek.”

He looks sort of desperately towards Hotch who raises his hands guiltily. “I would actually like to meet him, too, Morgan,” he says reluctantly, a rare smile playing across his face.

Derek groans and throws his head back against his plane seat. He can only be glad Penelope isn’t on the flight because she’d be absolutely relentless in such a conversation. 

As hesitant as he is to let his team in, maybe it is time to finally get over himself and bring Spencer to meet them. After all, none of them have ever given him actual cause to be so nervous, and he knows they’d all inevitably fall in love with him almost as quickly as Derek did, so really it’s his own fears and fierce protective instincts keeping Spencer away from his second family. 

“Fine,” he relents, anxious butterflies not easing. “He’s home this weekend, and apart from planning lectures I think he’s free, so I’ll ask him. But I can only promise to ask, I won’t promise he’ll agree.” It’s a pointless caveat; Spencer’s been bugging him to meet the team almost as long as they’ve been bugging him to meet Spencer, he’ll jump at the chance to go to dinner with them. 

“Finally,” JJ groans, pretending to collapse against Emily in relief, who giggles fondly at her antics.

“I’m sure we’ll love him, Derek,” Rossi says reassuringly, a proud fatherly look on his face that has his chest clenching painfully. 

As everyone settles down, his stomach churns anxiously as he stares back out of the jet window. He knows everyone will love Spencer; he just doesn’t know how to tell them what to expect. What if Spencer has a fainting episode or gets nauseous at dinner time? What if he can’t keep his energy up or is too photosensitive to have the lights on? What if meeting that many people at once overwhelms him? Spencer always tells him he worries too much, but he can’t help it — not when the love of his life is involved. 

He’s brought out of his nervous stewing by Hotch. “You know, Morgan, if you really don’t want to bring Spencer, you don’t have to,” he says softly, making him look up to see everyone staring at him guiltily. 

“We didn’t mean to pressure you,” JJ says hesitantly, and the others agree, all clearly having noticed his pensive expression.

He forces himself to take a calming breath and bite the damn bullet already. Spencer would be rolling his eyes at him. “Okay. There’s something I haven’t told you,” he starts carefully. He hasn’t had to introduce the concept of Spencer’s disability to anybody since he told his family. “Spencer is disabled. He has a chronic condition that impairs his mobility along with bringing a whole host of other symptoms, and while he’s had it for most of his adult life, I’m still not used to broaching the topic and I didn’t know how you would react. He already experienced enough difficulties in life, he doesn’t need my co-workers, hypothetically, being patronising or weird about it. So, I put it off.”

It feels like a weight off his chest once it’s out in the air, but the surprised looks on his team’s face make him briefly wonder whether telling them was a mistake after all. “Spencer will really look forward to coming though,” he rushes to continue. “He’s on his own a lot of the time and struggles to make it out of the house except for work if I’m not there, so he can feel quite isolated. It will be nice for him to spend time with other people, and finally meet you guys.”

By the time he’s finished speaking, everyone seems to have mostly recovered from their immediate shock, and look relaxed and intrigued again — far more appreciated expressions on Derek’s end. 

“Well,” Rossi starts, and he feels like holding his breath in anticipation, “will he need any accommodations?” Relief spreads warm and thick across Derek’s chest as he feels himself physically relax. Of course immediate support would be the response from his team; he was stupid to think otherwise. 

“His mobility fluctuates daily. Sometimes he can walk small distances okay, other times — and more frequently — he needs aids like forearm crutches or his wheelchair. Can I text you on the day and let you know?”

“Of course,” Rossi promises, a warm smile on his face, “whatever you and Spencer need.”

“There is one more thing, if Spencer’s coming it will need to be earlier in the evening… think more six rather than eight. He’ll be too exhausted later in the evening and he needs to be home early to get the amount of sleep he needs.”

“That’s fine,” Rossi agrees immediately, “six it is.”

“Sorry for pressuring you, Derek,” JJ says, tilting her head as she looks across the table at him. “But we’ll love Spencer, this won’t change anything.”

“Yeah, fuck you for thinking we’d be assholes about it,” Emily chuckles, punching him softly in the arm. 

Derek grins at her before shaking his head. “I’m just too protective of him,” he explains a little guiltily. “He thinks it’s ridiculous but I can’t help it. We’ve been together nearly five years now and I’ve seen the things he has to go through, professionally and in his day to day life. I just saw an area for potential harm, no matter how slim the chances, and immediately bricked it up in my mind. It’s hard to tear walls down like that.”

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Alex says in her signature gentle tone, smiling at him.

“I can’t wait to meet him,” Hotch agrees and Derek gives them all another quick smile before they settle in for the rest of the flight. 

It’s late by the time Derek unlocks the door to his and Spencer’s home and he knows his boyfriend will already be in bed. It had been a weird adjustment when they’d first started dating, Spencer having to be home by 10pm so Spencer could get at least nine hours of sleep, topped up by regular naps during the day. Now though, he’s completely used to operating around Spencer’s sleep schedule; it’s just routine. 

He makes his way through the house quietly, toeing his shoes off and shedding his coat before dumping his bag in the living room and padding up the stairs. The house is dark but their room is dimly lit by Spencer’s night lamps, there to ease him off to sleep and keep him company when bouts of painful insomnia torment him. There was a time Derek used to mind, but those days seem so long ago now. He climbs carefully onto the mattress, taking off his trousers and socks but not bothering to change into anything new.

As gentle as he is with his movement, Spencer still stirs beside him. “Derek?” He blinks sleepily over at him in the soft light of the bedroom and Derek immediately scoots over and wraps him in a hug. It might be gone midnight but he misses Spencer like crazy when he’s away and physical contact is very much essential business right now.

“Yeah, baby,” he whispers as he relishes the feeling of Spencer’s small frame against his own. “Sorry I woke you.”

“It’s okay. Just glad you’re home. Missed you.”

“I promise I missed you more,” Derek murmurs as the warmth of the room and comforting presence of his boyfriend wrapped around him finally break down the walls he’s been holding back the sleepiness working a 5 day case inevitably brings. 

“Make me pancakes in the morning?” 

Spencer doesn’t need to ask, it’s a tradition for Derek to make pancakes for breakfast the day he gets back from the case, but it makes him smile anyway. “Anything for you, baby boy,” he yawns. “Go back to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

⭐️

Derek waits until dinner the next evening to bring up the subject of the dinner party. It’s just a simple takeaway on the sofa of the house Derek had renovated for them, but even five years into their relationship, every moment shared with Spencer feels like a date. 

“How would you feel about going to a dinner party with the team?” Derek asks when there’s a lull in their conversation. Spencer’s just finished explaining a complicated debate he’s having with one of his colleagues about kinetic particle theory and Derek has no idea how to respond. Moments like these used to make him feel stupid and inadequete when they first got together, but now he just stares fondly at his genius boyfriend and wonders how on earth he got so lucky. 

Spencer lowers his fork. They’re eating chinese but he still hasn’t mastered chopsticks, and it never fails to make Derek smile. “Are you serious?” he says, an excited grin spreading across his face.

“I am.” He quirks an amused eyebrow as he takes in Spencer’s eager expression. God, he’s so fucking in love.

“Well obviously I want to go,” he giggles, “you know that. When is it?”

“Saturday.”

Spencer just launches himself into Derek’s lap in lieu of response, not that he has far to move on their cosy sofa, slotting himself against his body as they melt into one another. “Thank you for finally getting over yourself,” he says with his face buried in Derek’s neck.

Derek’s responding laugh jostles both of them as he wraps his arms around Spencer’s small frame, loving the way he fits in the palms of his hands. “I’m sorry it took me so long, baby,” he says, tone transitioning into sincerity. “But they can’t wait to meet you, and you’re going to love them.”

“I know,” Spencer says drily, pulling back to look him in his eyes. “Why do you think I’ve been pushing to meet them for the last five years?”

Derek answers with a squeeze to Spencer’s waist and a kiss to his shoulder. “Go on,” he says, lifting him off his lap to sit on the sofa next to him. “Finish your dinner.” 

“Mm, I think I’ve had enough,” Spencer hums nonchalantly, busying himself with putting the carton on the coffee table as if Derek doesn’t know him like the back of his hands. 

“This is your favourite dish from your favourite Chinese and you’re expecting me to believe you’ve just had enough,” he says, raising an eyebrow. “What’s wrong, pretty boy?”

“Nothing,” Spencer says, but he sounds winded and Derek isn’t stupid. He levels him with a look. “Okay… I just feel a bit sick is all.”

“Floor, sofa, or bed?” He’s aware of the nausea protocol, and he moves his own dinner aside as he springs into action. 

“Floor.” He’d been surprised the first time his boyfriend had crawled onto the floor and lay curled up until the nausea passed, but it was second-nature now. Apparently, the flat, firm surface was the most comfortable when such intense sickness consumed him.

“Okay, baby, let’s go.” He gently lifts Spencer off the sofa and down onto the floor, taking care not to jostle him too much. His eyes stay closed, face screwed up as he tries to weather the waves of nausea crashing over him. It never fails to make Derek’s heart twist in pain. “Are you actually going to be sick?” The majority of nausea spells usually pass on their own with no vomit to speak of, and Spencer’s usually very good at telling which kind it is.

“No,” he whispers, reaching his hand slowly towards Derek’s and gripping it tightly. He gets the message and lays down next to him, stroking his hair softly as they wait in silence for Spencer’s body to right itself. It only takes about twenty minutes to pass, and when it does, Derek carries him to bed, bringing him his toothbrush and a flannel as they follow another of their set routines that have been established over so many years of being together. 

“I love you so much, Spencer Reid,” Derek murmurs as they lay in bed together that night, the soft light of their bedroom catching on Spencer’s cheekbones.

“I love you more, Derek Morgan,” Spencer whispers back, voice slurred as he cuddles further into the arms of his boyfriend. 

“Not possible,” Derek insists, but Spencer’s already dropping off to sleep. 

⭐️

Spencer wakes up on the day of the dinner party in what Derek can clearly see is nothing short of agony. He doesn’t try to hide it, they’re mostly past that now — although he still sometimes convinces himself he can handle smaller symptoms by himself, no matter how many times Derek insists they’re a team — but he doesn’t say much either. The morning is spent on the sofa, using numerous heated blankets and painkiller combinations until he can at least think straight. 

“How do you feel about this evening?” Derek asks as lunchtime approaches, rubbing Spencer’s good arm gently as he leans against him, legs outstretched on the chaise. 

Spencer hums. “I’m gonna take a nap after lunch,” he decides after a moment of deliberation, “and then decide. I think with meds and the wheelchair, I’ll be okay.” He pauses for a moment as he nibbles nervously on his bottom lip. “Do you think they’ll be weird about the chair?”

“No, baby,” Derek says decisively. Really, he can’t believe he ever thought anything different, but he was scared and fear easily spirals into irrationality. “They won’t even blink. Especially since I warned them about the mobility aids. I think they’d be more surprised if you walked into the Rossi mansion.”

“You sure?”

It hurts Derek’s heart to hear him so anxious and uncertain, and it’s only more painful because he knows it's rooted in experience. He’s had to fight for most of his life to be seen as a competent adult, equal to his peers despite his disability, and people can be cruel. “I’m sure. And even if for some reason they were dicks about it, I’m there, okay? Nobody’s gonna get away with being anything other than an angel towards you when I’m around.”

Spencer giggles at that, turning his head into Derek’s chest. “You turn into the hulk when you’re protecting me.” 

“I do,” he agrees, chuckling at the sound of Spencer’s adorable laugh, “and for good reason. No-one hurts my baby. You know that, and everyone else knows it, too. We’re gonna be just fine, pretty boy.”

Spencer sighs, reassured by Derek’s words. “Love you,” he whispers, twisting a bit to press a kiss to the side of Derek’s neck. 

“I love you more,” Derek promises, lifting a hand to rest on Spencer’s cheek.

“Not possible.”

The rest of the day passes slowly as Spencer takes it easy, deciding that he’s definitely up to it after a decent nap curled up against a reading Derek. They get ready together, Derek helping him shower when his arms hurt too much to wash his hair and getting him dressed in his favourite outfit before dressing himself. 

By the time six thirty rolls around, Spencer’s feeling a little bit better, his meds are hitting the spot and they’ve mastered all the wheelchair adaptations to make his life as easy as possible over the years. His cushions and heated seats connected to the wheelchair’s motor, which he uses to help self-propell at work, ease the pain as much as they can and the built in phone charger always makes him popular whenever they go out with friends. Plus, his cane and crutches connect neatly to the back of the chair, giving him more options, which is especially helpful on nights like this. 

“Comfy?” Derek asks as he pushes him out of the apartment and into the hallway, locking the door behind them. 

Spencer hums in affirmation, wiggling a little as he settles into the warm support of the chair. They have a ground floor apartment for safety reasons: Spencer needs to be able to exit the building if the lifts stop working, but it’s also convenient. They get down to the garage quickly and Derek helps him into the passenger seat before packing the wheelchair in the boot.

He spends the journey in contemplative silence and Derek can’t keep himself from shooting worried looks his way. His hand makes its way onto Spencer’s knee and he rubs his thumb gently against the skin, before stilling the digit, all too conscious of how painful repetitive stimulus can be, especially on days like these. 

“Stop worrying, baby,” he says, ten minutes into the drive when Spencer still hasn’t said a word. His bottom lip is chapped from the worried chewing it has endured for most of the day. “They’re going to love you, I promise.” 

“You really think so?” 

Derek’s about to answer quickly but he looks over and sees how absolutely dead serious Spencer is. He sighs. “Let me tell you exactly why. Alex is a fellow academic with the softest streak of anyone in the BAU field team. Emily and JJ have the ability to befriend literally anyone, and Penelope already is in love with you, just from what I’ve said about you. She’s told me so multiple times. Rossi immediately accommodated you and wasn’t at all fazed when I mentioned your disability. Hotch is a gentle fatherly type when he’s talking to good people and the rest of the team, so he’ll just be interested in you as a person. There’s no-one I’m worried about, okay?”

“Okay,” Spencer whispers eventually, finally sounding like he actually believes him. 

“Besides, you’ve already got one member of this team whipped,” Derek smirks, glancing over at him again. 

He considers it a win when Spencer rolls his eyes, and his grin couldn’t be wider when he hears him mumble, “arrogant asshole” under his breath.

Derek’s grateful Rossi doesn’t have a gravel driveway as he gets Spencer out of the car and into his wheelchair, before pushing him the short way to the front door. They’d battled some tough terrain over the years, and gravel was absolutely his least favourite. As they approach the house, though, he notices that Spencer’s grip on his armrest is tight enough that his knuckles are white, and it hurts Derek’s heart that he’s only this nervous because real people and real experiences have given him genuine reason to be. 

Before he gets to knock, though, the door is thrown open by an uncontainably excited Penelope. “You’re here!” she shouts, and completely bypasses Derek to shake Spencer’s hand. He’s glad she doesn’t crouch, just leans down a little so he doesn't have to reach up so far. “You must be Spencer. I’m Penelope. It is a crime that Derek has kept us apart for so long, but none of that matters now. Would you like me to push you in through to meet the others?”

“Um, it’s nice to finally meet you, Penelope,” he says, smiling at her genuinely. “Would you mind if Derek keeps pushing me, though?”

“Oh, no, that’s fine!” Her smile doesn’t drop a bit. “Come through, everyone’s already in the living room. Oh, and hi Chocolate Thunder.” She sends him a quick wink. 

“Hi, Mama,” he says, rolling his eyes. He’s grinning, though. So far, so good. 

They follow Penelope further into the house after Derek closes the door behind them, and the girls get up first. “Spencer, oh it’s so good to meet you,” Emily says, coming up and shaking his hand. “I’m Emily, this is JJ.”

“Hi,” JJ says, shaking his hand too, giving him a conspiratorial look. “I’m glad we finally bullied Derek into bringing his oh-so-secret beau to meet us.” 

Derek just grins. “What can I say? I’m protective of my baby.” He reaches down and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. 

“Ignore this caveman,” Spencer laughs, and Derek is sure he rolls his eyes again. “I’ve been dying to meet you all, too.”

“Well, it’s our pleasure,” Alex says, coming up for her turn. “I’m Alex. Your paper ‘How Thinking Makes Us Write’ you published a couple of years ago is incredible; I used it in my Psychology of Writing class last year and only just realised it was written by Derek’s top-secret boyfriend! I’d love to talk to you more about that later.”

“That’s so cool, wow, yeah I’d love that.” He smiles at her, clearly feeling a little flattered by the immediate praise of his work. Derek thinks it’s the least he deserves.

“I’m Aaron, but everyone calls me Hotch,” Hotch says as he and Rossi step forward, a warm smile on his face. “Sorry to overwhelm you with all these introductions, but it’s lovely to meet you. It really is a shame Derek’s been so secretive.” 

Spencer smiles up at him. “Are we all going to dunk on Derek all night? Because if that’s the case, I’m glad I came,” he laughs, twisting around slightly to look at Derek. 

“Yeah, yeah, keep talking, pretty boy,” he says, raising a brow. “Two can play at that game.”

“You’re too whipped, I’m not worried,” Spencer dismisses him, before touching his hand lovingly, letting him know that he’s only teasing. 

“I don’t doubt it,” Rossi says. “I’m Dave, or Rossi, whichever you prefer. I actually own this house, despite being the last in line for a formal introduction. I’m sorry I didn’t greet you at the door, Penelope had been waiting on the stairs for half an hour so she could be the first to greet you.”

“That true, baby girl?” Derek chuckles, looking over at her. 

She doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed, but then Derek doesn’t know what else he expected. “This is on you,” she defends herself, “if you hadn’t waited so long to introduce me to baby genius here, I wouldn’t have been so desperate to meet him.” 

Spencer laughs at their interaction, turning his attention back to Rossi. “It’s nice to meet you,” he says. “Derek told me you were really accommodating, so thank you for that.”

He waves the thanks aside with a dismissive hand. “It’s nothing. Speaking of which, though, would you rather eat in your wheelchair or transfer to one of the dining chairs.”

Derek knows what’s about to happen even before he sees Spencer tense up. “Give us one second,” he says, wheeling him out into the hallway. Decisions are really hard for Spencer to make on bad days, especially those that pertain to his health or needs, and being under the eyes of so many people was not about to make that an easy interaction.

“Derek…” Spencer says anxiously, looking at him for help as he feels his mind spiral into fogginess at the question. 

“Okay, it’s okay, baby,” he says soothingly, crouching down in front of him to be at eye level. He takes his hand and kisses it gently. “Do your hips need a break from the chair or would it be more painful to transfer?” 

Phrasing questions like Rossi’s as directly applicable choices is always more digestible for Spencer and he sees him visibly relax at his words. “Hips need a break.”

“Great,” Derek says. “Do you want to go back in or do you need a minute to yourself?”

“No, I’m fine,” Spencer says, and he believes him. He instantly relaxed at having made a decision. “Let’s go back in.”

“As you wish, sweetheart.”

They walk back into a room full of vibrant conversation and laughter. “Oh, Spencer, Spencer,” Emily says, immediately roping him back into the conversation without making a big deal of him having to leave the room, “we’re debating whether Derek’s really the slob Alex insists he is. You need to help us settle it.”

“I shared a room with him once, okay,” she says, “it was a state!”

“I don’t doubt it,” Spencer agrees. “At home, he’s so anal about ‘everything in it’s place’ and won’t even let a mug sit on the counter without being washed up. But whenever we go away, he can’t keep the place clean, it’s the weirdest thing. It’s like his suitcase vomits its contents all over the room.”

“Hey, I didn’t know this dinner was gonna be all about airing my dirty laundry,” Derek laughs.

“Literally,” JJ points out.

“Right,” Rossi says, interrupting the laughter filling the room. “Dinner is ready, so we should eat. Did you come to a decision about seating, Spencer?” Derek’s impressed at how much he knows about accommodating disabilities. He probably has someone close to him who’s been through something similar to Spencer.

“I’ll transfer,” he confirms.

“Great, we can just move your wheelchair to the hall once you’re settled so it’s not in the way, if that’s okay?”

At Spencer’s nod, they all file into the kitchen/dining area and choose their places. Penelope bags the seat to Spencer’s left, Derek sitting to his right, as the other girls sit opposite them. Hotch and Rossi sit at Derek's end of the table. He holds hands with Spencer under the table all through the delicious pasta primavera, helping to ground him, reminding him he’s right there. 

Conversation and laughter flows with the wine Rossi serves, and Derek doesn’t even mind his embarrassing stories being shared with the team, because it’s Spencer, and he’s so far gone for this man that he could slice him open and with his dying breath, Derek would thank him. 

“I love you, really,” Spencer grins up at him, after he’s just revealed his Nina Simone shower concerts to everyone sitting around the table, everyone cracking up as the tough exterior Derek’s built up at work over the years slowly disintegrates, his own boyfriend fuelling the fire. 

“And I love you, baby,” he says, leaning over to kiss him briefly, before pulling back. “Even when you spill my deepest darkest secrets.”

“Well, aren’t you two just the cutest,” Alex says fondly. “You’re a lucky man, Derek.”

“No, I’m the lucky one,” Spencer insists. “Do you know what he said when we first met? We were at the supermarket, and I was reaching for some baby carrots. He said ‘whoa, pretty boy, don’t get those ones. They go off far too quickly. Someone as beautiful as you deserves better than that’. No mention of the wheelchair or bags under my eyes. He didn’t see Disabled Spencer, he just saw Spencer. Asked for my number then and there.”

“You were irresistible,” Derek says fondly, brushing a thumb against his cheek. “I knew right at that moment I would spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“Stop,” Penelope begs, “my heart is literally a puddle on the floor. This world needs more Derek Morgans.”

“I’ll toast to that,” JJ says, her face just as soft as Penelope’s. 

“A real toast,” Hotch says, raising his glass with a happy smile on his face. Derek very rarely sees such a relaxed expression on his face, and as much as they have their disagreements, it’s a nice thing to see. “A toast to Derek and Spencer. May your happiness live long and be as contagious as it is tonight.”

Everyone toasts to his words, and Spencer buries his face in Derek’s shoulder, a little embarrassed at the attention. They sit around the table a little longer, but Spencer slowly sags against his body, finding it painful to keep himself upright. 

Noticing this, Penelope claps her hands. “Shall we move back to the living room? I bought chocolate and Rossi has wine.”

“This is true,” Rossi says as they all get up. He grabs Spencer’s wheelchair from the hall and Derek helps him back into it as they head back to the sofas.

“It’s weird using my chair inside,” Spencer laughs as Derek pulls him into his chest so he doesn’t have to keep himself steady upright, everyone else settling themselves around the room.

“Do you not need it often?” Hotch asks. 

“No, I need it quite a lot. I just don’t usually have to. Derek’s usually fairly insistent on carrying me around our apartment.”

“We’ll never live in a big house,” Derek says, chuckling along with anyone else. “I couldn’t haul this big lug around a Rossi mansion, now could I?”

“Hey!” Spencer smacks his side lightly. 

“You’re 6 foot tall, baby,” Derek defends himself. “You might be tiny but there’s still a lot of you.”

“Fair enough,” Spencer acquiesces, laying his head just under Derek’s chin. 

“Right,” Rossi says, coming back into the room, “I have more of your non-alcoholic wine, Spencer, and more of the real stuff for everyone else. Hand out the chocolates, Penelope, and we’ll have ourselves some satisfied guests.”

“I don’t live here, old man,” Penelope says, raising an eyebrow but getting up from her seat cuddled against Emily and JJ anyway. 

“Hey, you answered the door to pretty much everyone today; you’re co-hosting.”

“Can’t argue with that, Penelope,” Emily says drily, looking on amusedly as she huffs but hands out the chocolates anyway.

Derek discreetly pops two painkillers out in his pocket and hands it to Spencer, who swallows them down with a sip of his non-alcoholic wine, relaxing as they start to take effect. They all chat leisurely for a while, enjoying each other’s company in a non-pressured environment where they’re not surrounded by high profile cases and serial killers. 

Eventually, though, Spencer starts to fall asleep on his chest, clearly feeling relaxed enough in the warm room, pressed up against his boyfriend and surrounded by the reassuring conversation of people he trusts. As soon as Derek notices, though, he knows it’s time to get him home and into bed before any true crisis of pain or fatigue takes place. 

“I think we’ll need to get going, guys,” he says quietly, drawing everyone’s attention to Spencer’s dozing form. He watches as their faces soften and conversation quietens, everyone clearly enamoured with his boyfriend. It occurs to him that he feels no jealousy, only pride that he gets to call this wonderful man his, that he’ll be going home with him tonight, tucking him into bed and cuddling him until he falls asleep. 

He shakes Spencer gently, and the others start to get up, tidying or just moving through to the kitchen so as not to embarrass him when he opens his eyes. “Sorry,” he murmurs sleepily, as he looks up at Derek. “I’m tired.”

“I know, baby,” he says softly, feeling so fond his heart could burst. “Let’s get you home, yeah?”

Everyone’s sad to see him go, gathering at the front door to say their goodbyes. 

“You are invited to every BAU event from hereon in,” Penelope asserts confidently as she leans down for a gentle hug. She whispers, “you’re better company than Derek, anyway.”

“I heard that, Mama,” he says, poking her in the side.

“You were meant to,” she says, sending him a pointed look, before dropping the act and wrapping him in a hug as the others say goodbye to Spencer. 

“It was so nice to finally meet you, Spencer,” Hotch says warmly. “Derek had better not keep us from seeing anymore of you.”

“I’m not sure I could possibly get away with that anymore,” he sighs. “Guess I’ll have to share my baby with you assholes.”

Spencer rolls his eyes at that, stifling a yawn. “Come on, caveman,” he says, rolling his eyes again. “I need to get home.”

“Anything for you, my highness,” he chuckles, before lifting his chin with his knuckle and bending down to kiss him briefly. 

“Bye, lovebirds,” Emily calls as they make their way to their car.

“Drive safely,” JJ shouts, which makes Derek laugh fondly. He does love his team.

“See you on Monday,” he calls back as he helps Spencer into the passenger seat. They drive home in the comforting darkness of night, illuminated by the car and street lights of the city, and satisfaction pools in his stomach as he reflects on such a perfect evening as Spencer falls asleep against the passenger window. It really couldn’t have gone any better, and the relief he feels is staggering: the two most important facets of his life finally integrated after far too long.

While his whole life feels like it’s finally falling into place, all that really matters is that the man who is his entire world is happy, a small smile on his sleeping face as the shadows of the city brush their way over his cheekbones. He has to force his eyes back to the road, but he can’t resist the hand he slips into Spencer’s, or the smile that lights up his face as even in his sleep, Spencer’s fingers curl themselves around his.

Spencer's symptoms in this fic could fit any number of neurological conditions, but his unnamed condition was modelled on my own experience with fibromyalgia. I have a rather severe case, as would Spencer if he was diagnosed with this illness. The symptoms could also fit these conditions in one way or another: Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.), Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis or Axial Spondyloarthritis, as well as others I'm sure I'm forgetting.

Everything about Spencer’s disability is true to the chronically ill/disabled experience as I know it, and to learn more please visit the end notes on AO3 where I explain in a little more detail some of the features of Spencer’s symptoms and condition.

<333

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @hotchgans @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith

[buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger]

Alright, look. Because of the truly exorbitant amount of Bucky/Sebastian Stan content I put on this blog I'm gonna make one post re: the most recent controversy because I feel it important to do so. Just bc I like him and the character he plays in the MCU does NOT mean I think he's immune to criticism. That said, reblogs and replies are turned off because I'm saying my one piece on the matter and have been having a string of real, genuine good days recently which even on meds doesn't happen often and I don't owe a single one of you on either side of this my mental health over a subject matter I really just don't want in my head any longer than it needs to be in there tbh

Also I'm doing this in bullet points bc that makes sense in my head and also am on mobile so can't put a read more on here so I'm sorry in advance for the wall of text. Without any further ado, let's unpack this.

Full disclosure: I am a 23 year old individual who did watch the series not knowing until after that it was made without Pamela's consent, only watched it bc Seb was in it, and was only tangentially aware of who the titular characters were (like I knew Baywatch and Motley Crüe and had heard Pamela's name before but like I knew nothing about any of it). I was born like 2 years after everything with the tape in question went down and really knew nothing about the situation with it. Thats not me trying to defend anything, I'm just laying everything out ahead of what I'm about to say.

So like most people at this point I read his insta post and I personally, GENUINELY think he did write it with the best of intentions. I don't think he was trying to be outwardly malicious or drag Pamela into it or invite harassment of her or anyone tbh. And like, dude got nominated for an Emmy, odds are he probably wrote it the midst of or coming off of a lot of excitement and probably wasn't thinking clearly. God knows I wouldn't be if I was in that situation

HOWEVER

This is NOT me excusing it as "well we all say dumb shit sometimes". Because that would be bad imo. Actors are not infallible or immune to criticism just because I like them imo. I'm currently going through a similar thing with my feelings on John Mulaney but that's a rant for another day and another blog.

Like I said, I don't think his intentions were anything other than good, and that he was trying to be genuine

That said I am a firm believer in the idea the Road to Hell is paved with good intentions, and that when you are a part of that you do need to own up to it.

His tagging Pamela (and Tommy for that matter, but for different reasons) was definitely a bad move, and the post overall read as extremely tone deaf. Like. Royally so.

And I definitely think the response to it, while a little harsh in some cases, isn't undeserved. What he said was a bad take and really poorly worded, and he needs to be called out

And I do hope he addresses it and apologizes in a meaningful way and does some introspection. But also I know there is a crowd that no matter what he does they'll say it's not good enough because there always is.

And that's NOT me saying every time a celebrity apologizes and people say it's not good enough it's undeserved (if I had a nickel for every Notes App Apology™️ one has made that was DEFINITELY not enough I could pay off my student loans)

And it's a valid take, people can do what they want. I don't expect to sway anybody.

But also I dunno. I don't think he's exempt or immune from criticism because he's famous or my celebrity crush or anything like that and I do think he needs to be held accountable for what he said and needs to address the backlash

But also he is a human being and human beings fuck up sometimes.

Both of these things can be true and not cancel out the other imo.

I do think the 'if you still support him you support abusers and seb needs to be blacklisted in Hollywood' takes are a little fuckin much honestly

But also the fans who are just sweeping this under the rug and dismissing it as 'everyone hating for no reason' also need to take a long hard look at it because what he said is kinda messed up seeing as he was talking about consent and exploitation whilst profiting off of a show made without consent about a victim of exploitation is Not Great

And like. You can like someone and acknowledge that they did a shit thing. These 2 things can coexist.

But also this isn't me trying to be some faux intellectual claiming moral superiority because I'm in the gray area or anything

I'm a Literally a 23 year old barely out of college person on the internet with limited life experience who likes the MCU and majored in theatre, I'm not going to pretend I'm some final authority or expert on this

I'm just one (1) person saying I see both sides but also maybe both sides need to calm down a bit

I know I'm just a drop in the ocean of discourse and I'm fine with that

Basically tl;dr: I think what Sebastian said and that he tagged Pamela was messed up and Hope he apologizes in a meaningful way but also know that means different things to different people, I am the farthest thing from an authority figure on the situation and just decided I wanted to say at least something based on the content of my blog.

I'm never sure how to end of of these but this is the end

[musings-from-mars]

I don't remember what the prompts were so I am picking a random one! Whiterose for Number 36

((Y’all mind if I uhhhh...project onto Ruby a little bit?

This got really long so I added a read more lol

You know what, heck it, this is it’s own AU now. Rosebloom AU!))

One accidentally runs into the other(s) while… 36. At a party

Ruby was not a party girl. She had never actually been to a party, but she didn’t need to to be sure of that. The idea of just milling about a crowded space while loud music played did not appeal to her at all, not to mention the potential sensory issues such an environment might cause (or definitely would cause). But she tried anyway, because she was in high school now, and high school kids party, right? And she desperately wanted to fit in at her new school and not be the same weirdo she had been in junior high. Yang had told her that she didn’t have to come if she didn’t want to, but Ruby insisted both to Yang and to herself that she could handle it.

Twenty minutes after arriving at the party, she was scrambling out the back door to escape the loud music and constant droning of conversation, finally starting to get overloaded despite her efforts to carry on. Inadvertently getting separated from Yang didn’t help matters as she stepped onto the back porch and held her fists to her forehead, clenching and unclenching her hands rapidly as she pressed the bases of her wrists against her eyes, focusing on the darkness and listening to the relative calm.

Once she began to calm down a bit, she sighed and sat down on the wicker chair on the back porch, her back to the wall. She took a deep breath, then let out a groan. “Damn it...”

“Are you okay?”

Ruby flinched, gripping the arm rests of her seat as she turned toward who had just spoken. “H-HUh?!”

The girl who had spoken stepped back, standing at the bottom on the steps to the porch. She had long white hair that seemed to shine despite the low light of the crescent moon and the light that escaped the windows behind Ruby, and her blue eyes seemed to take whatever light hit them and reflected it back twice as bright. She clutched a small light blue purse to her chest, making it easy to notice how the purse matched her sweater and pleated skirt. “Sorry for startling you,” the girl said, not looking directly at Ruby as she walked up the steps.

“It’s...fine,” Ruby said, relaxing a bit, letting her arms rest at her sides again as she watched the girl climb the stairs, noticing her black leggings and red hightops. “I thought it was just me back here.”

“So did I,” the girl admitted, now standing awkwardly by the front railing of the porch, facing Ruby. “I’m...not much for parties.”

Ruby chuckled, nodding as she looked away from Weiss, getting nervous being under her gaze. “Me neither.”

“Are your eyes okay?” She asked. “They look really red. I saw you rubbing them.”

“Huh?” Ruby asked, but then felt her face get hot and her heart leap into her throat. “That was...I just...I do that when I’m...” She shut herself up, knowing not to let herself stammer.

Weiss blinked at her, then nodded. “Just...nervous?”

Ruby nodded. “Yeah, nervous,” she agreed. Not exactly accurate, but not completely incorrect either. She let out a sigh after involuntarily holding her breath for a spell.

She hadn’t realized how cold it was, and her jacket was still in the locked cargo box in Yang’s motorcycle, leaving Ruby in just her red t-shirt and black jeans. She gripped her elbows, trying to stifle a shiver. “What’s...your name?” She asked. Totally normal thing to ask, right? Especially if this girl was going to keep looking at her, awkwardly, beautifully...

“Weiss,” the girl answered. “And yours?”

“Ruby,” Ruby said. “Uhm...what’re you doing out here?”

Weiss shrugged, lowering her purse from her chest to in front of her, relaxing her shoulders at last. “I came to this party hoping to meet new people. I just moved here so I don’t know anybody.”

Ruby chuckled, glancing at the empty backyard. “Not going well, huh?” She immediately regretted saying that. Am I seriously teasing her? That was so mean! What the fuck is wrong with me?

To Ruby’s surprise, however, Weiss chuckled, smiling as she glanced toward the grassy yard as well. “Not at all. I feel so out of place.”

That was something Ruby could relate to. “Same,” she admitted. “I don’t like parties.”

“Neither do I.” Weiss shrugged, leaning her elbow against the porch railing behind her. “People don’t really talk to people outside their little groups, do they?”

Ruby hadn’t noticed, she was more worried about the idea of someone actually talking to her, and having to come up with something to say that wasn’t awkward or weird, and then trying to carry a conversation with someone she didn’t know and probably shared zero interests with. Ruby sucked at talking to people, unless she was talking to friends over voicechat while playing Minecraft at home, or...to Yang or her dad. That was it, pretty much.

“I’ve actually said more to you than I have to anyone else tonight,” Weiss continued, chuckling again. “So...thank you for that.”

“Hm?” Ruby hadn’t done anything really. Oh, wait. I have actually been talking to her. Weird. “Oh, yeah! Thanks to you, too.”

Weiss smiled at her. Weiss smiled at her. “Do you go to Beacon High as well?”

Ruby nodded, feeling her face warm again, but not so much that it was distracting or unbearable. “Yeah, it’s my first year. I...kinda came here for the same reason as you, to meet people, but...yeah, I’m not good at...meeting...people.”

“I mean,” Weiss shrugged. “You met me.”

Ruby opened her mouth, but struggled to put her response together at first. “I...guess you’re right. Huh.”

“I’m a junior, but I was homeschooled up until this year, so I guess I’m sort of in the same boat as you,” Weiss said, fidgeting with the handle of her purse. “Not knowing anyone despite there being literally hundreds of other people at school feels...alienating.”

Ruby nodded. “Yeah, it kinda d-does.” She stuttered as she shivered a bit, having tried her best to hide how cold she was but beginning to fail at that.

Weiss tilted her head a bit. “Need a jacket?” She asked.

“I’m okay, mine’s in my sister’s bike, and she has the key, and...I don’t know where she went.”

“Oh, that was your sister,” Weiss remarked. “She seems...pretty popular.”

“She is.” Ruby nodded.

Weiss looked to the side, then set her purse on the railing. “Here.” She began to tug her light blue sweater off.

Ruby’s face felt like she was nose-deep in a toaster oven by this point. Is she taking her top off?! “What are you...?”

Alas, only a bit of Weiss’ midriff actually ended up exposed. She pulled off her sweater, leaving her in a white v-neck t-shirt. “I don’t want you to freeze,” she said with a chuckle, extending the sweater towards her.

Ruby stared at the sweater and shook her head. “No no, I’m fine, really.”

“I don’t get cold that easy, no worries,” Weiss insisted, nodding towards her sweater. “Go on.”

Ruby sighed, face still burning as she reached out and took the garment from Weiss. “Thank you.” She gingerly began to slip it on, and as she pulled it over her head, she faintly smelled lavender laundry detergent and...perfume? It kind of smelled like chamomile, like the kind of tea her dad would make when she or Yang got a sore throat. Ruby tugged the sweater down, her head poking out the top, and she immediately felt more comfortable, and much warmer.

Weiss giggled. “Not too small, is it?”

Ruby shook her head, tugging the sleeves down over her wrists. “It’s, like, the perfect size, actually.”

“Okay, good,” Weiss said with a nod, smiling.

Ruby looked up at her, making eye contact, and a lump formed in her throat inexplicably. Then she started to panic a little, trying to find something to say, but not coming up with anything, but she had to say something so she just started talking. “It’s really warm and it smells like—”

She was cut off when the back door opened and Yang stepped outside. “There you are, sis!” She said when she spotted Ruby. She was wearing a yellow and white stripped halter top and light blue jeans, her hair in a ponytail. “I’ve been looking all over the place.” Then she noticed Ruby’s newfound sweater, then turned and looked at Weiss for the first time. Then she pointed at Weiss, then at Ruby. “Do you know each other?” She asked.

“N-No!” Ruby said, then blushed when she realized how rude that might have been. “I mean, we just met and we’ve been talking about how much we don’t like parties and stuff. And...she gave me her sweater. Because I was cold.” She put that last sentence out in a pointed rush, trying to quell any ideas from forming in Yang’s head. “And, uh...her name is Weiss.”

Yang glanced back at Weiss, a faint smirk on her face. “Weiss, huh? Are you new?”

Weiss nodded, face red for more than just the cold, probably. “Yeah, I am. I just moved to Beacon.”

“Cool! I’m Yang!” She reached a hand out, which Weiss took and shook. “I’m Ruby’s sister.”

“I’m Weiss,” Weiss said, then stammered a bit. “You...already knew that.”

Yang giggled. “No worries.” She pointed at Ruby. “I just wanted to check on you. You doing okay?”

Now? Yes, she was just fine. Earlier, not so much, but there was no point in telling Yang that now. “Yeah, I’m good,” Ruby said.

Yang nodded. “Cool. Just text me if you need anything, okay?” She then waved to her and Weiss. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she teased before disappearing into the house again.

She just had to add on that bit at the end, huh?

“Your sister...seems nice,” Weiss said, her face still red.

“She is,” Ruby rattled off, not looking at Weiss now, fidgeting with the cuffs of Weiss’ sweater instead. Wait...Oh shit, Yang got the wrong idea from seeing me in her sweater, she must think me and Weiss are... She tapped both feet on the floor in quick succession over and over, doing her fist clenching thing again but keeping her hands on the armrests.

“Are you okay, Ruby?” Weiss asked, noticing her stimming.

“I’m good,” Ruby said, not meaning it so much as that was just a rehearsed answer to that type of question.

“Am I making you nervous?” Weiss asked, holding her purse to her chest again. “You can be honest.”

“No!” Ruby shouted. Why did I shout?! That came out WAY too quick.

Weiss flinched a bit at Ruby’s sudden response. “I...if you need me to leave you alone for a moment, I can.”

Ruby gritted her teeth. I’m acting so weird, fuck. She wanted to run away right at that moment, but she had nowhere to go. Home was miles away.

Weiss gripped her purse, pressing her lips together. “I’m sorry, I’ll...” She reached for the door.

“Wait!” Ruby reached out suddenly, grabbing Weiss’ wrist just before she reached the door handle.

Weiss gasped, looking between Ruby’s hand and her face, appearing worried.

Ruby blinked, then inhaled sharply and drew her hand away, tucking it against her chest. “I’m sorry, I...I don’t mean to...do that. I...” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry...”

“Hey,” Weiss said, sounding restrained, putting a hand on Ruby’s shoulder. “It’s okay.

“I’m just being weird and I’m sorry, I’m sor—”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

Ruby stopped, opening her eyes, freezing for a moment. She felt a small wave of relief. Okay...okay, she’s not actually that weirded out...is she?

“I...” Weiss began to say, then her voice trailed off. She took her hand off of Ruby’s shoulder, then reached into her purse, pulling out her phone. “What’s your phone number?”

My phone number?!

“Uh...” Ruby struggled to respond for a moment. “Uhh...right, my number, it’s...” She told Weiss her cell number, and Weiss entered it into her contacts. “Why...do you ask?”

“I just...” Weiss put her phone away in her purse. “I can tell you...aren’t really comfortable here, so I figured I could text you sometime so we can talk that way, and...I don’t know, we could hang out sometime, somewhere a bit more...our style,” she shrugged, smiling awkwardly.

Ruby stared at her for a moment, then nodded. “Oh, yeah, totally.” She took a moment to listen to the music playing inside the house, then got an idea. “Or we could...go somewhere else right now?”

Weiss’ mouth hung open for a moment, glancing toward the house as well, then smiled, giggling. “I guess you’re right. Uhm...where did you have in mind.”

Ruby perked up a bit, but then deflated just as quickly. “Well, my sister is my ride so I can’t exactly take you anywhere.”

“I could hail an Uber,” Weiss said.

Ruby blinked at her. “Ohh...I’ve never been to oovoo javer.”

Weiss chuckled, then snorted, then laughed even louder. “Oh wow, that was attractive of me.”

Ruby giggled, holding a hand to her mouth as she did. “It was cute!”

Weiss sighed, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, her laughter fading. “So yeah, I’ll...” she took her phone back out, face red all the way down her neck. “I’ll call that Uber.” She turned away from Ruby, obviously embarrassed, as she tapped away at her phone screen.

Ruby kept giggling softly, mentally patting herself on the back. She made her laugh! Without even meaning to. Her brain had just played a split-second game of Word Association: Vine Edition and spit out a response. The planets must have been aligned in a certain way, because Ruby was sure she would never pull off something like that again.

Hold up...why am I so happy about making her laugh?

“Wait, where are we going?” Weiss asked. “Kinda need a destination if we’re calling an Uber...”

“Uhm...are you hungry?”

“A bit,” Weiss admitted.

“DQ?”

“DQ?” Weiss asked. “I’ve...never been.”

“You’ve never been to see the Queen of Dairy?” Ruby asked, astonished.

“I’m afraid not,” she chuckled, but input the location of the nearest Dairy Queen. “But I’ll give it a try. The driver should be here soon.” There was still a faint red tinge to her cheeks. Actually, she was beginning to look cold being without her sweater.

“Would you like your sweater back?” Ruby offered.

Weiss shook her head, waving a hand. “I insist.”

Ruby nodded, biting her lip. “Okay. Oh, I should probably text Yang and tell her I’m leaving.” She pulled her phone from her pocket and started to type a message to Yang.

“You...” Weiss muttered. “Do you listen to Red Hallow Manor?”

Ruby froze. Weiss had probably seen the logo for the Red Hallow Manor podcast on her phone case, but the only reason she had that case was because she was so certain no one would recognize it, it was such a niche thing. But somehow Weiss had? “Yeah?”

Weiss chuckled. “I literally just binged the first two seasons a couple days ago.”

“Really?” Ruby asked, sitting up straight in her seat. “No way! We could listen to the next season together! I mean, I’ve listened to the entire thing at least three times, but I’d totally want to listen with you and hear what you think!”

Weiss smiled, laughing. “Sure! That sounds like fun.”

“Awesome!” Ruby said excitedly, hopping to her feet. “Sorry, I just...I’m, like, obsessed with RHM. Like, really obsessed. I never thought I’d ever meet someone in-person who listened to it.”

Weiss giggled at Ruby’s enthusiasm. “Yeah, I had just heard about it and I was curious, so I listened to a couple episodes, and then I listened to more, and...” She shrugged. “I ended up staying up way too late. I had to force myself to go to bed after listening to two seasons.”

“That’s awesome!” Ruby said, eyes wide, shining in the moonlight. “Do you like it? Who’s your favorite character? What season one or two better?”

Weiss held a hand up to steady her. “How about...you interview me while we’re at DQ, huh?”

“Okay!” Ruby nodded, stimming but for a positive reason now, doing a side-to-side dance in her seat.

Weiss smiled at her. “You’re cute,” she remarked.

Ruby’s face heated up, halting her movements. “Oh, thanks,” she said, voice wavering.

Weiss blushed. “But like...just, yeah, I...” She hurried to pull her phone back out. “The Uber is just around the corner, we should go out front.”

Ruby stood from her seat. “Okay, uh...” she glanced at the back door to the house. “Could we...go around? I don’t want to go back inside.”

Weiss nodded. “Sure,” she said, heading down the patio steps with Ruby behind her.

They walked around to the side of the house only to find that there was no gate, just more fence. “Uh...” Weiss shrugged. “I guess we have to go through the house.”

“Why not just climb over?” Ruby asked.

Weiss looking at the fence with an uncertain glance. “Climb?”

“As one does,” Ruby chuckled, taking a couple steps back, then running and leaping at the fence, using the horizontal beams to climb up, then sat down on the top (the fence was flat on the top, so thankfully no pickets in the butt). “Like that!”

Weiss stared up at her, dumbfounded for a moment, then shook her head. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“What, have you never climbed a fence before?” Ruby asked.

“I’ve never had to?” Weiss shrugged.

“Okay, I’ll help you,” Ruby said, hoping back down.

“Uhh,” Weiss glanced at the fence uncertainly, but then looked back at Ruby’s goofy smile and sighed. “Alright, I’ll try.”

“Cool, I’ll boost you,” Ruby said, taking a knee and holding her hands out. “Just step up and I’ll lift you.”

Weiss took one more uncertain look at the fence, then nodded and gingerly ran forward, planting a foot one Ruby’s hands and stepping up, just as Ruby lifted her with a grunt. Weiss yelped, completely missing the highest horizontal beam and ending up stomach-first on the top of the fence, top half on the other side with her legs kicking on Ruby’s end. “Gah, that didn’t work!” Weiss yelped.

Ruby stopped herself from giggling, instead scrambling back up the fence. “I got you!” She said, leaping over with ease to the other side. She made eye contact with a very concerned looking Weiss and smiled at her. “Just flip over to this side and I’ll catch you.”

“Flip over?” Weiss asked incredulously.

Ruby extended her arms. “I got you!”

“I’m slipping!”

“Now or never then!” Ruby said.

Weiss held her breath, then leaned forward, doing a half front flip. “AHH!” She screamed, but landed in Ruby’s arms, bridal style.

“Gotcha!” Ruby said with a proud grin. She allowed herself to enjoy holding her for just a moment, then set Weiss upright, her feet securely on the ground. “Not so bad, huh?”

Weiss regained her bearings, then straightened her skirt, face flushed. “Yeah, I guess not,” she said, obviously flustered.

Ruby rubbed her back of her neck. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” Weiss said, chuckling. “I’ve done something new already.”

“There you go.” Ruby nodded, but was interrupted by a familiar Beep! Beep! nearby. She turned and spotted Yang leaning on her yellow motorcycle. “Yang?”

“Hey, sis!” She waved, then raised Ruby’s red jacket in the air. “You might want to take this with you.”

“Oh, right, thanks,” Ruby murmured, suddenly conscious of what Yang might have been thinking about her being with Weiss. She came over to Yang and took the jacket. “Uh, me and Weiss are going to DQ.”

“Sweet,” Yang nodded, giving Weiss a look, then a smile. “Don’t be out too late, but have fun!”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “Yeah yeah, I’ll be home by curfew. Just like you will be, right?”

Yang shrugged. “Mayyybe.”

A black sedan pulled up behind Yang, an Uber light on the front windshield. “This is it,” Weiss said, walking toward the car, glancing one more time at Yang as she walked past.

Yang smiled at Ruby, giving her hair a ruffle. “Maybe give her your jacket? Fair trade, right? Would be a smooth move.”

“Smooth move?” Ruby asked, glancing around her as Weiss climbed into the backseat of the Uber. Then she realized what Yang was insinuating and took this opportunity to put whatever ideas Yang was getting to bed. “We aren’t...dating or anything, okay?”

“Who said anything about that?” Yang asked, smiling.

Ruby sighed. “Okay, fine, but...don’t get any ideas.”

“You’re the one feeding me ideas,” Yang teased.

“Just...” Ruby sighed. “I feel like I’m making a friend. Please don’t make me feel weird about it.”

Yang blinked, smile disappearing. “How would I?”

Ruby glanced toward Weiss, seeing her with a leg still outside the car, waiting for Ruby to follow. “I gotta go,” she said, stepping past Yang.

Yang watched her walk past. “Be safe,” she called to her halfheartedly, then remained leaned against her bike, in thought.

[dreamingofmilk]

Sugar Babe Chapter 3

Word Count: 2,025

Synopsis: And the trip begins...

Warnings: slight smut, cursing

Early the next morning you struggled to get your baggage down to the lobby by yourself. Steve, your driver frowned when he saw you exit your building with all your stuff for the trip. 

“Miss, you know I could have helped you. Mr. Stevens would have my head if he saw you right now.” Steve ran up to you to gather your stuff and put it in the trunk of the sleek new black Audi. 

You smiled softly at Steve, he was always so polite and helpful to you, even when you assured him that you could handle it. 

“It’s fine Steve, I got it down here didn’t I?” You pressed a kiss to his cheek as he opened the car door for you. You slid into the back of the car and buckled in. You were supposed to meet Erik at the airport in about an hour, but you lived about 45 minutes away from the airport so you had a bit of a ride ahead of you. 

You were excited for the trip, you loved to travel and looked forward to opportunities that work provided for you to do so. But you never got to travel like this, much less with Erik. 

Usually when you traveled, you traveled alone to audit or conduct meetings in place of Erik. And you just went to the big airport downtown to fly business class. Your trips usually didn’t take three weeks to conduct either. Erik could never go without having you by his side for more than four days. He swore the incompetence of the other employees made him considering making his company a two man one. The days you came back from traveling usually involved calming Erik down from firing everyone. Thank goodness you had no problem keeping his anger under control. 

You packed entertainment for the ride to the airport and for the trip. You reached into your bag and pulled out the kindle Erik bought you randomly last year. 

Giggling at a story you were reading, you glanced up to make eye contact with Steve in the rear view mirror. Steve’s cheeks quickly turned pink and he looked back to the dark road ahead of him. 

“You okay Steve?” You asked him curiously, you’d worked with Steve for the past year and he’d been one of the best drivers Erik had ever hired. You considered the two of you friends easily, car rides with him contained engaging conversation and joyous laughs. 

“I’m fine Miss. I uhh didn’t know you were dating anyone much less engaged?” His eyes shot to your ring finger in the rear view mirror before putting them back on the road. 

You felt your face become hot. You remembered Erik’s text that came in right before you woke up this morning, reminding you that he put a ring on it and he can’t wait to see it when you meet this morning. 

You also remembered how his body felt pressed against yours, and the things he said. As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. You were scared. You were scared of how strong your feelings for him were, how far gone you already were. If you weren’t careful you could get caught in the storm and never make it out again. Erik never kept a relationship for long, he was a hardworking man who would always be more dedicated to his job than anything else. As his assistant you’ve seen first hand just how little he fought with his exes when they complained about his work schedule. You’ve seen how upset they looked when they stormed out of his office, and you’ve seen how unaffected he was by it all. 

Erik was a tornado, blazing through everything in its path, and you couldn’t allow yourself to get caught in the wreckage, no matter how strong your feelings were.

 “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried.” Steve pulled into the parking lot of the airport and stepped out to open the door for you. 

“It’s okay Steve.” You smiled and hugged him. “It’s just all new to me. I guess I better get used to the question though huh?” You pulled back and smiled up at your friend. He grinned back at you in his eyes, twinkling with a bit of sadness. He opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by Erik making his presence known. 

“Glad to see you made it safely.” Erik’s tone was quiet and calm, his eyes hard and focused completely on you. You quickly jumped back out of Steve’s arms and turned towards Erik to greet him. 

“Steve.” The tip of Steve’s ears turned completely pink. 

“Sir.” 

“Grab her bags please. The plane is ready for us to board.” Erik used his business voice, his eyes flitting to Steve briefly before focusing back on you. His stare made you hot and your knees weak. You nimbly lean back into the car to grab your carry on bag and purse. 

You approach Erik slowly, his eyes watching your moves. 

“Hey.” You smile and pull out your phone to go over notes for the flight. There were a few business things that needed to be handled on the flight over. 

“What was that?” Erik asks quietly. 

“What was what?” You respond as you start to move toward the jet tarmac. 

“Nothing.” He works his jaw and glances back at Steve getting your luggage. “Let’s go there’s a lot to go over.” He places his hand on the small of your back and guides you to the plane. 

*****

“How long have we been married?” You ask Erik on the plane. You’ve been in flight for a few hours and after completing all of the necessary paperwork for the new acquisition preparation, the two of you decided it necessary to practice questions you may get. 

“3 years. We could take a break you know. I’m tired and I feel like we have it down.” Erik patted the seat next to him, his smile devious and hopeful. “Come join me, they are going to bring our lunch soon.” 

You definitely wanted to sit next to him. But there was no need to. No one was watching, the two of you should enjoy the last few hours of not having to put on an act. 

“I’m fine over here Erik, much more spacious without a giant like you taking up half of the seat.” You smiled and put away your laptop preparing for the delicious meal you smelled. 

“Sure you're fine over there. But if you sit with me we could practice cuddling.” You narrowed your eyes at him and kissed your teeth. 

“Why would we need to practice cuddling Erik. In what public place would people need to see us cuddling?”

Erik chuckled and leaned back in his seat spreading his legs wide, he licked his lips as he stared at you. 

“Not everything has to be for show baby girl. But we gotta practice you getting used to my touch don’t we? A husband can touch his wife in public right? And every time I go to touch you you flinch.” Erik rubbed his beard while eyeing you. 

“No I don’t. Stop lying Erik.” You rolled your eyes. 

“You do. I’m not lying. I always peep how you respond to people. You didn’t flinch when Steve touched you though.” His stare turned hard and you could feel something turn inside of you. You grimaced and looked away briefly before standing up to sit next to Erik. You hated when you upset Erik, it didn’t happen often. But when it did you knew. 

“I do not flinch when you touch me.” You reiterated, your eyes daring him to touch you.

Erik of course took you up on your silent challenge. His smirk shouldn’t have so much of an effect on you. It was disrespectful really. 

“You’re calling me a liar Y/N?” Before you knew it he grabbed your wrist and pulled you hard enough to launch your body out of your seat and into his arms. You couldn’t fight the shiver that ran through you as his hands caressed your back so softly you weren’t sure if he was even aware he was doing it. You quickly shoved your face into his chest to hide the small whimper that escaped your lips. 

You couldn’t help but flinch when you suddenly felt Erik’s lips brushing against the shell of your ear. He spoke softly, but there was steel behind his words, “Baby girl, let me make myself crystal clear. You are my wife. Mine. I don’t take well to sharing, I never have. If I see you flirt with another guy again I’mma handle you, you understand me?” His hands slowly worked from your shoulder blades, down your back, to rest firmly on your ass. “My ring is on your finger, not Steve’s, or anybody else. Don’t forget that.”

Thank goodness Erik couldn’t see your face because your eyes were about to bug right out of your head. Where the fuck was this coming from? Erik has never been a possessive guy. Hell he had an open relationship with over half of the girlfriends you’ve seen since you started working for him. This was unprecedented. You calmed yourself down before moving back so you could look into his eyes. It was time to get back on the same page. 

“Why do you keep bringing out Steve? What does he have to do with this?”

Erik scoffed, “You tell me. You were hanging all over him this morning.”

What the fuck?! “I just hugged him Erik. What the hell is your problem?”

“I don’t take well to being disrespected, Y/N. How am I supposed to feel when I show up, all excited to see my girl and she’s hanging onto some guy?”

You grabbed his face harshly, your frustration getting the best of you. Before you could talk yourself out of it, or think, you pulled him into you and kissed his passionately. He immediately responded, pulling you in as close as he could and tonguing you down something fierce, his hands still palming at your ass. You gasped when he moved his hands behind your thighs and picked you up, wrapping your legs around him to keep yourself from falling over. Erik quickly walked you both to the nearest wall, shoving you against it just hard enough to make you gasp.

“Not worried about him now are you, baby? That’s right, only I can do this for you.” Erik growled against your lips, barely taking the time to say the words before claiming your mouth once more.

You pulled away, finally remembering the reason you kissed him in the first place. “I’m not interested in Steve, Erik. I never have been. He’s my friend. I was just hugging him to say goodbye because we’ll be gone for a bit. That’s all, I promise.”

Erik scanned your face for a while, both of you catching your breath. “You’re right, I’m sorry baby girl, I overreacted. I can never seem to think clearly when it comes to you.”

You rolled your eyes and started to massage your fingers into his scalp, his eyes closing immediately. “You will never have to worry about that. I’m not that kind of person and you know that.”

He nodded, “I do know that.”

You watched him closely, the question bubbling up until you couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Why were you so angry anyway? You always had open relationships with your girlfriends. Why are you mad about the possibility of your fake wife flirting with someone else?”

Erik smirked, slowly shaking his head. “Y/N, if you have to ask that question then I have my work cut out for me.” 

“Well I guess you better get to it because I don’t understand. But first put me down so I can eat.” You nodded your head to the food that had been placed on the table behind you. 

Erik smirked and let you down slowly sliding his hands over your ass and hips. 

“I’ll make sure to show you.”

Taglist:

@aislinnsilver​ @wawakanda-btch​ @chaneajoyyy​ @marvelmaree​ @ljstraightnochaser​ @raysunshine78​ @fdwrites @soufcakmistress​ @girlsneedlovingfanfics​ @toniilaney​ @amira88 @bugngiz​

[c4pricornc4ts]

The Best Prank - SBI One-Shot

This idea is by @bellfort3 ! Thank you for letting me take it. 

Summary:  He’d ask his mom if he could just quickly tweet something funny about him being grounded but really, isn’t a break from Tommy what everyone wants? Even his own fans used to find him annoying. Maybe everyone’s happy he’s gone. 

So he doesn’t ask. 

Tommy is tilting his head back in one of the uncomfortable leather seats outside the principal's office yet again this semester. He’s holding an already very bloody tissue up to his nose and swinging his legs while waiting for his mom to be interrupted in the middle of work yet again to come and take him home. 

He really tried not to get in another fight after how mad his mom was last time, but there were these asshole upperclassmen who just really deserved it for how much of an asshole they are to everyone, but especially him. 

He knew his mom would be livid, and he was completely right. He eyes her warily as she steps in the office and starts switching between apologizing profusely to the principal and lecturing him. The principal just hands her a paper to sign and tells them both very seriously that if he gets in one more fight he’s expelled. 

Tommy’s up getting another tissue when she all but drags him out the office door by his coat. 

“It’s really not that big of a deal!” He whines as she checks him over, before letting him get in the car. 

She leans her forehead against the steering wheel and sighs, gripping it tightly. “Not a big deal? Tom you can’t just get in fights with people! You heard your principal, one more and you’re out.”

“What am I supposed to do? Just let them be assholes?” He snapped at her, though he sounded less angry and more nasally from the tissue blocking his nose. 

“Go tell a goddamn teacher! I’m starting to think you like getting your nose broken.” 

“They don’t do shit!” 

His mom turns to him, he looks away. “Your grades are dropping, you’ve been in a total of three fights just this semester and now you’re snapping at me? What’s gotten into you?” 

“I’m sorry mom.” He mumbles. He does feel kind of bad about it all. But mostly he just wants the  conversation to end. 

“You’ve really left me no choice here you know.” She takes his phone out of his backpack. “No phone for a week, and no streaming either. I’m unplugging the wifi. You need to do some self reflection.” 

“Oh come on now, a whole week? It’s just a bloody nose it’s not like anybody died!” This was completely unfair. Streaming was his job, and how on earth will his friends know where he went? 

“You’ll thank me when you’re not repeating sophomore year.” She starts the car, focusing on the road now. Tommy makes no move to speak to her again not wanting to make anything worse. 

After he’s caught up on his school work it’s almost 8pm. He goes to sit in front of his computer, excited to just hang out with whoever was online and deflates in his seat when all he can do is play that stupid no internet dinosaur game. 

Even though it’s a stupid game he still plays it for at least an hour before giving up and just getting ready for bed. At least he had school tomorrow to keep him distracted. 

School goes by quickly, he complains to his friends about being grounded and over exaggerates the fight he was in and all his teachers give him looks when they see his bruised face but smile when he turns in his late work. 

He opens his front door and starts to head upstairs, preparing to stream before just leaning against the wall and sighing when he remembers his punishment. He has no homework though so really what was he supposed to do? 

Blue eyes look at the cookie mix left on the counter and Tommy makes a plan. He changes out of his school uniform and makes sure to give his mom a pointed look before running back to the kitchen. 

He reads the back of the box, leaning against the counter; 2 eggs, ½ cup of water, and ⅓ cup of olive oil. It sounds easy enough. The only trouble he has is trying to crack the eggs without getting any shells in the bowl. He thinks about when he met up with his friends and how Wilbur and Phil made it a competition to see which of the two could crack an egg with one hand the cleanest. 

Tommy stares at the unmixed bowl, his hands covered in baking ingredients, wondering if any of his online friends missed him. They always seem relieved he’s not around when they stream and Tommy tries to remember they’re talking about his character, but it hurts. There’s only so many times he can hear his pseudo family call him annoying and a problem before it starts to feel more personal. 

It hurt, he always played it off so well on stream but after streams where they were particularly rude to him he always just felt drained. 

He’d ask his mom if he could just quickly tweet something funny about him being grounded but really, isn’t a break from Tommy what everyone wants? Even his own fans used to find him annoying. Maybe everyone’s happy he’s gone. 

So he doesn’t ask. 

Suddenly, he doesn’t want to finish his baking project. He really just wants to lie down and sleep for the week. But he does, though it feels a lot less exciting than it did at first. 

He takes the cookies out of the oven with his bare hands yelling about how that’s his least favorite part before turning around and coming face to face with his very confused mom holding an oven mitt. 

He runs his hands under some cold water and takes a few cookies up to his room, leaving the rest out. He closes the door and plays some minecraft in single player for a while, walking into the house he and Tubbo had built together when his friend had visited. 

Tubbo doesn’t hate him, he liked Tubbo. 

It’s only his fourth day of no internet and Tommy is incredibly bored. He had done just about everything he could think of to do. He feels bad for kids who grew up like this because honestly, how did they do it? 

He supposes it’s different when you don’t rely on the internet for your job, or if you just never knew it was a thing. If he was born before the internet maybe he would write that book he always wanted to write. 

Tommy is staring at a book on knitting and fumbling around the two needles, trying to make his weekend at least somewhat productive. The tv in the living room is turned down and Tommy curls up on the end of the couch with a roll of green yarn.

He begins to get the hang of the whole knitting thing after three very messy rows when his mom messes up his hair, causing him to look up with a glare. 

“We’re going out, don’t you try to get on anything or it’ll be two weeks!” 

“I have ascended past the need for electronics, as you can see.” He laughs and keeps trying to tie off the fourth row. 

The door clicks shut and Tommy tosses the yarn aside and sits up. Sighing hard enough to blow his hair out of his face before flopping back down on the couch dramatically. 

He throws an arm over his eyes and resolves to just lie down for a bit, not bothering to even fix the knitting book which had landed open on the floor next to him. 

He just let’s the colors flickering from the tv wash over him for a while when the doorbell rings. He ignores it, as his parents didn’t tell him anyone would be coming by. Hoping it was just the mail. 

The person at the door starts knocking after a few moments, so Tommy begrudgingly gets up to answer. 

He really wasn’t expecting Wilbur to be standing in his front yard, checking his phone. He looked troubled, as if he was worrying it was the wrong house or something. Tommy takes a deep breath and goes to find out what Wilbur wanted. 

“Tommy! Where’ve you been? Everyone’s been so worried I decided to make a trip here.” Wilbur just let’s himself in, walking right past Tommy and into the kitchen. 

“Oh, just busy with school y’know?” He knows it’s a weak excuse, but it’s worth a shot. 

“Too busy to just send a message to someone?” Of course that didn’t work on Wilbur. Philza or Tubbo would’ve accepted that excuse in a heartbeat. But not Wilbur. 

“I thought no one would care. It’s only a week.” He opens the fridge, trying to act nonchalant about the situation. 

“Only a week? Tommy, you usually text us everyday! Of course we’re gonna notice.” 

“Notice? Yes. Care? No.” He mumbles bitterly. Freezing up right after, hand still on the fridge handle. 

“Of course we care! Wha- Why would you think we didn’t-” Tommy feels a bit bad, Wilbur sounds genuinely hurt by it. But Tommy wasn’t done. 

“You all always talk about how annoying I am, for-fucking-give me for giving you and everyone else a break.” He turns towards the older, and tries to stop his eyes from watering. Trying to tell himself he’s mad, not upset. 

“It’s all jokes Tommy, you know we don’t actually feel that way about you.” Wilbur pushes off the counter and takes a tentative step towards Tommy. Who makes sure Wilbur notices him step back. 

“What’s so funny about it? I go from school where everyone seems to hate me just to talk to more people who act like they hate me. And I’m really, really tired of it.” He falters by the end of the statement, realizing that maybe he is more than just mad. 

He knows he’s crying, his shoulders shake and his face feels hot as he looks anywhere but at Wilbur’s face. Was it so bad of him to just want people in his corner for once? Is he really such an annoyance that someone had to drive all the way to his house because he didn’t just find a way to contact any of them? 

“Oh, Tommy.” Wilbur murmurs, his voice sounds soft. And Tommy leans into his shoulder for support. He should probably just sit down, but he really just wants some comfort right now. Even if the one who made him so upset is the one he gets it from. 

Wilbur pulls him in, enveloping him in an actual hug. And Tommy can’t deny it does make him feel a bit better. 

“I’m being ridiculous, I'm sorry. I-I know you guys don’t mean it. It just- It hurts.” He’s crying again, and he really hopes Wilbur doesn’t make him stop hiding his face. 

“You’re not being ridiculous, we should’ve looked out for you better. I just assumed you were okay with it, but I never even asked you. I’m the one who’s sorry. So you take your sorry back.” 

“Sorry for being sorry.” He whispers back softly, laughing over his own joke. 

Wilbur holds him for a bit longer, and he tries to wipe his face before stepping back. 

“I’ll talk to Techno and Philza if that’s okay. I never want you to feel like I wouldn’t care if you left, I’m sure they wouldn’t want you too either.” 

“That’s- thanks, Wilbur.” 

Wilbur claps his hands together excitedly. “Now, tell me what TommyInnit does when there’s no internet to waste his time on.” 

“Wilbur you won’t believe it but I got to the point of boredom where you learn to knit. To knit, Wilbur!” He’s dragging Wilbur by the arm into the living room to show him the barely finished hat he’d started. And laughing when Wilbur fusses at him for leaving the book sprawled on the floor like it was. The moment earlier was completely forgotten. 

And if Wilbur made a tweet that night, well he’d delete it before Tommy got his phone back so really, no one gets hurt here. 

Wilbur Soot (@WilburSoot)

Tommy’s grounded LMAOO and won’t have his phone for the next few days, quick comment nice paragraphs under his latest tweet to confuse him haha, the best prank I think.

[jalapeno-princess]

Wherever You Will Go

Ghost Mark X Reader

Genre: Angsty angst (this is some sad shit y’all don’t say I didn’t warn you) (there is a happy ending though I could never make a story with a sad ending I’m such a softie).

Warning: Mentions of death, suicide, depression, (ghost boyfriend Mark)

Word Count: 5.1K

Summary: You lose your boyfriend in a plane crash and it obviously ruins your entire life. A month after Mark’s passing, you come to the conclusion that you cannot live without him. Little did you know, he’s been with you this entire time and one day, he’s given the chance to make his presence known. The two of you can’t go back to what you used to have for many different reasons, but Mark mades it known that he isn’t going anywhere. He might not be there physically, but he is always with you.

A/N: I really don’t know where this came from honestly but I couldn’t stop writing. I have a few cute ones that I’ve been working on so hopefully it will lift your spirits after reading this one. Please enjoy!

“I don’t see why I have to go Mark. Why can’t I just send them a congratulatory gift or something? There’s going to be hundreds of people at the wedding, it’s not like they’re going to notice my absence—“

“Babe—“

“And I haven’t seen my family in so long, for all we know, they probably just sent the invitation to get more people to come. My cousin was always the type to love presents—“

“Babe—“

“Actually, if I think about it, the last time she and I spoke, she made me feel pathetic for something I had no control over. I hope it rains on her damn wedding day and every ends up leaving—“

“Y/n. Babe. Look at me.” You didn’t want to look at him; one look at Mark and you were putty in his hands. From past experiences, Mark knew exactly what to do to grab your attention and to stop you from doing or saying things you wouldn’t mean. He was the only one who knew what to do to calm you down; to get you to relax.

Mark was in more or less words, your own personal guardian angel. He was the only person in your life for the last few years after you decided to cut off your family and even some of your friends completely from your life. If you were being honest, he was the only person you needed. As much as you loved your parents, your siblings and your many other relatives, you were doing just fine without them. The only person who’s presence you craved was sitting down on your bed; watching you pace back and forth around your room, trying to come up with an excuse as to why you couldn’t make it to your cousin’s wedding.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to attend—well, you really couldn’t care less about going. This would be the first time you would be seeing any one of your family members since the day you no longer wanted anything to do with human interaction.

After that terrible night, the night that changed your life forever and made you question your entire existence, they tried their best; your parents especially to reach out to you. To send their condolences, to be there for you during such a heartbreaking and traumatic time, to prevent you from harming yourself in any way that could cause them to lose you forever; but all their attempts failed.

You didn’t want to hear it; you didn’t want anybody feeling sorry for you. The accident wasn’t anybody’s fault—or that’s what Mark kept trying to tell you. However, you’ve been living with both a grudge and a heavy heart the last four years and you didn’t think it would let up anytime soon. When your boyfriend realized you weren’t going to acknowledge his command, he got up from where he was sitting and made his way to you.

“My silly girl, you were always so stubborn—but if I’m being honest, it’s something I’ve grown to love about you. You know—when it’s not being used towards me. Your family misses you y/n, and I know why you’re so upset over this and why you’re so adamant on missing out on this event. But babe, take some time to think about it please? For me? I know you’re still so traumatized and you don’t want to be around people, but this is the only way you can move on or at least get some closure. Maybe you need to be around people—“

“I am around people. I’m around you. That’s all I need. You’re all I need and could ever need Mark. You will always be everything that I want and need. You’re the only person that matters to me. Damnit Mark—if I go, everyone is going to ask me so many questions and I’m sure I’m going to get so much pity and sympathetic looks—my grandmother thinks I’m crazy for acting this way even after four years, but she doesn’t understand—nobody will ever understand the pain that I’ve been suffering since you left me. I don’t even know why I’m still here Mark. When you died, you took every ounce of me with you. My heart, my soul—it’s there in my chest. It beats, but only because it has to. It’s empty—numb—I will never get closure—I will never move on—I never even got to say a proper goodbye. Mark Tuan—you are the only person that I’ve ever loved. You’re my soulmate, my best friend, my solace, my home—I will never accept your death. Fuck—“ the tears were hot on your cheeks as you continued to confess the many thoughts that have been clouding your mind.

You had no idea how ghosts worked; you didn’t know if Mark could read your mind or hear your thoughts, so you weren’t sure if he was completely aware of how heavy the impact of his untimely and accidental death was on your entire being. Nobody thinks that they’re going to die nor does anybody really know when. On the days that you and Mark would actually get around to watching the news and you would hear about people dying; whether it was from old age, an incurable disease, murder or a car crash, you would never think something as tragic and unthinkable would happen to you or to anyone you knew.

Mark was on his way back home from a conference in Japan. Being the successful businessman, it was expected of him to attend different kinds of conventions and business meetings all around the word. If you knew then what you knew now, you would’ve said more than just “Let me know as soon as you land, I love you.”

It was raining heavily that night and the sky was foggy; full of mist and clouds. Unfortunately, you never got the text message because his plane did not land. Around the time that you were expecting his arrival, you grew curious as to why you weren’t hearing any updates from him. Mark was an extremely clingy and interactive boyfriend. He always needed to be contacting you and texting you while he was away. He never failed to make it known just how much he missed you and how he wished he could take you with him whenever he had to go on a trip. You began to come up with different scenarios in your mind; maybe he fell asleep while on the plane or maybe the flight was delayed and they were still in the air.

Something in your gut told you otherwise and soon you found yourself turning on the tv. In bold letters read “devastating plane crash: flight 263 Japan to California. Fifteen passengers, three flight attendants and two captains found dead” every word you read felt like a slap in the fact. There’s no way. It couldn’t be. You were frantically looking around the room for your phone to see what flight number he was on, but even if you had yet to confirm it, your heart knew the truth. You just didn’t want to accept the idea that Mark died in a freak accident.

After finding your phone, that’s when all the messages came storming in. Countless apologies, empty words that held no meaning to you—multiple “I can’t believe this happened” and “he didn’t deserve this”. You wanted nothing more than to throw your phone at the wall. Sure, they were right. Mark definitely did not deserve this. Nobody deserves to die—but Mark was one of the most kindest, generous, hardworking and caring people you knew.

He sacrificed so much for everyone around him. All he ever cared about was the well-being of the people he loved; you being his number one priority. But you hated their messages; you wanted them to all stop. Stop trying to call you; stop trying to text you that this shouldn’t have happened; it was a reminder that this was all real. That it happened. It felt like a nightmare. You had to be sleeping; there was no way your mind could fathom or process the thought of Mark’s death and you sure as hell knew you would never accept it. You couldn’t find it in yourself to sleep that night. You were in between disbelief and grief.

It was like that for the course of an entire month. Your parents, Mark’s parents, even his siblings and yours tried to come over to your apartment and see how you were doing but you didn’t have the energy or the strength to talk with anybody. Mark’s absence was taking a toll on your mind, your body and your spirit. His death was taunting you; you were constantly reminded that he was no longer there anymore just by having to go to bed alone.

Not hearing his comforting voice, not getting to feel his warm embrace, not being able to hear his contagious laughter was killing you more and more every single day to a point where you wanted to give it all up. You no longer wanted to live anymore. How could you continue living knowing that the only reason; the only person behind your existence was no longer alive? Waking up to an empty bed and an even emptier apartment felt like a chore. You didn’t want to put up with it anymore. There was no point. Mark was your entire lifeline and you refused to continue having to go through the painful reality of his death anymore.

The day you attempted to take your life was the same day he made his presence known. You finally came down to the decision that you didn’t want to live anymore; a life without Mark was one not worth living. Exactly one month after the plane crash, with the tiniest amount of energy you had left in your body, you found yourself driving to the beach and not just any beach. The beach where it all started. The beach where Mark confessed his feelings for you over six years ago. The same beach where he would take you every time you had a rough day or if you needed a breather from how hectic life could be.

When you lost Mark, all your sanity went out the window. You no longer felt safe. You were in constant fear of anything and everything negative happening to you now that he could no longer protect you in the ways that he used to. Once you parked your car, you took no time in walking down toward the water. A small tear fell down from your cheek and you were surprised to feel wetness—you were sure you cried out every single tear possible. Right as you began walking in to the water, there was a tiny voice in your head begging you to stop.

However, you couldn’t find it in yourself to refrain from what your plans were. When the water reached up to your chin, you felt something roughly pull at your wrist and when you turned around, your heart sank to your chest. There he was, in all his handsome glory; staring at you with the most saddest look in his eyes. Your boyfriend of six years; your best friend of eight. The person you’ve been crying over every single day. The person whose been clouding your thoughts for the last month. The person you loved more  than life itself. You had to be hallucinating; there was no way he could be there in the water with you, pulling you back to shore. Yet as soon as you felt sand against your feet, you were well aware that it was him. But how?

“Okay, I must be going crazy.”

His cute little laugh that you adored so much rang through your ears and filled your heart with warmth. It was obvious he wasn’t completely himself. Or not his physical body at least. He was more prominent than mist, yet not completely human. You could see right through him and out of natural instinct, you reached out to touch him, but you were left disappointed. He must’ve known that there were many questions on your mind and that you probably didn’t know what was going on because he was quick to speak up.

“So you can see me? Finally. You are crazy my silly girl. Fuck y/n I’ve missed you so much baby. Before I go in to depth about everything, let me just start off by saying that I’m upset that you would want to do something so stupid like drown yourself. But I can’t blame you. If I were in your shoes, I would’ve done the exact same thing. Look at you, you look so sickly; you haven’t been eating have you? What’s the matter babe? You look as if you saw a ghost—oh wait. Sorry. I’m still not used to it myself so I apologize now if I say or do something out of the ordinary—“

“What the fuck is going on? I really am seeing things.”

Although you couldn’t feel him cover up your mouth, you had to stifle back a laugh when you saw him move forward as he placed his hand on your lips. “Before I allow you to swear any more, follow me. I’ll explain what’s going on okay?” You did as you were told; you were feeling so many emotions all at once. Seeing him again in the flesh, after the countless nights you prayed and begged for him to come back; that you would do anything to see him one last time was a lot for you to take in.

He attempted to reach for your hand, but he couldn’t physically lift it or intertwine your fingers together and it upset your boyfriend; but he had to remember he was no longer able to do a lot of what he could do when he was alive. He brought you towards a log and had you sit down on it as he sat right in front of you and began telling you everything. He told you how what started off as turbulence turned in to something pilot couldn’t get any control over. He also told you that you were the first person that popped in to his mind as soon as they were all told what was going to happen.

Mark really did not want to die. He was still so young; he had so much going for him. The two of you planned your future together on many occasions and he couldn’t wait to see what life had in store for you both. The thought of death didn’t scare him; everyone dies. What scared him the most was what would happen to him after death, and what would happen to you. Honestly, Mark was more afraid of what the aftermath of his death would do to you than what happened to him.

Anyone who knew you and Mark would consider you two peas in a pod. Wherever you’d go, Mark would follow and you did the same with him. You weren’t much of a gamer, but you’d go with Mark every time he’d want to go to an arcade or a pc room. He was never a fan of books, but he encouraged and supported your passion for reading. A lot of the books you owned were actually purchased by him against your many pleas that he wouldn’t spend money on you. He just loved seeing the huge smile on your face every time he would surprise you with a new novel he’d think you’d enjoy.

Out of all the billions of people in the world, Mark knew you were meant for him and he was meant for you. You were his person and he reminded you every single day that he was wholly and completely yours. When he realized that he was dead, and that he could still see people, he immediately went on the search to find you. His heart broke as he watched you scream and cry every single second, minute and hour of the day.

He’d watch as you’d throw things around; punch the wall, try to harm yourself with sharp objects and it killed him. It killed him because he couldn’t do anything about it. There was nothing he could do about it, no matter how badly he wanted to pull you in to his chest and tell you everything was going to be okay. He wanted to kiss you, to hold you, to feel your skin against his, to tell you how much he misses you and how he’s sorry you’re suffering all alone; but he wasn’t able to do it. He’d sit there watching you; praying over you and hoping that one day soon, you’d be able to at least start talking to people again. Mark was sure that if you allowed one person in your life, then maybe you’d be able to get out of the funk; the depression you were living in.

Boy was he wrong. That one morning you got up from out of bed and started changing as if you had plans to go somewhere, he was excited. He felt like this was progress; Mark believed this was a sign that you were slowly accepting his death. When you reached the beach and he caught on to what you were planning on doing, he felt as if he was going to throw up. Theoretically. Since he wasn’t able to physically grab you, he tried his best to make his presence known, or to at least do something to stop you.

Knowing that you wanted to kill yourself struck a nerve with him. You were such a happy-go-lucky, free spirit. You had one of those bright and bubbly personalities that were so contagious to the point where you’d light up any room you were to walk in. Therefore, to see you so broken and thinking that death was your only option to rid yourself of your heartbreak, he couldn’t help but feel as if he was to blame. He knew there was nothing he could do. It wasn’t like he could turn back time and stop himself from boarding the plane. He couldn’t stop himself from dying.

Mark was a very religious guy; he knew that if you were to take your own life, that there was a chance you wouldn’t get the same fate as him. He was still getting used to being a spirit, so he wasn’t too sure what everyone experienced once they died. Coming back to life was the last thing he’d think he would do after death and he wasn’t exactly alive, but being able to walk around earth and getting to be around the love of his life was extremely unexpected.

Once you walked in to the water and continued making your way further and further out, he absentmindedly reached out for you and shocked both you and himself when he realized you actually felt the pull. Mark was even more in shock when you acknowledged his presence. For the last month, he was always there. He suffered watching you suffer. He cried as you cried. He was over the moon when you tried reaching out for his face, but he was also just as upset as you were when you came to the conclusion that you couldn’t touch him. As soon as he finished explaining the details, he allowed you to ask him any unanswered questions that you had.

The only question you could really think of, which you weren’t too sure he had the answer to, was why he was still there on earth. You were curious; from what you were told about people who passed away, they would have to “go in to the light” and pass on to the afterlife. It wasn’t that you weren’t excited to see Mark again; your heart, or whatever was left of it; whatever he didn’t take with him after he died—felt whole again. You felt as if you could breathe again. You weren’t sure how long you had him for and you didn’t know what the rules or limitations were, but you were going to make the most of any time you did have to spend with him.

“I guess my time here on earth isn’t finished yet. I made a promise to you all those years ago; I’m going to take good care of you baby, no matter what happens. God knows it’s not my time to leave yet. I need you just as much as you need me. I’m not going anywhere y/n. I’m here to stay until it’s time for us to meet again beyond the clouds about. You need to promise me that you won’t do that again. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself—okay, you have to admit that was pretty funny babe—don’t look at me like that you should know after all these years of being together that I make jokes out of my misfortune. I may not be able to kiss you, I can’t hold your hand or cuddle with you, but I’m always going to be with you. Damnit, I want nothing more than to kiss you right now and fuck—I miss making love to you—maybe if I’m a good ghost, I’ll be granted the pleasure of being able to touch you again. I love you y/n, more than I got the chance to say while I still had the chance to. So I will remind you every single day, to the point where you’ll probably get tired of me but you’re stuck with me y/n. They weren’t joking when they said till death do us part—I’m so glad I can’t feel pain. That’s one of the only things I like about being dead. Hey, I’m funny even in the afterlife—you gotta give me credit for that y/n.”

Mark’s wishes were fulfilled just a couple of months ago—well, to an extent. He could now kiss you and hold you, but it wasn’t like he could do anything beyond that and it made you laugh when he came to the realization that ghosts can’t participate in sexual intercourse. A lot of jokes were made when he found out that he couldn’t love on your body the way he’s been craving to for the last three years, but kissing you was just as amazing and he took what he could get. With that being said, as soon as the first tear fell, you were abruptly pulled in to his embrace while he began rubbing your back in attempts to calm you down.

You haven’t cried once since he came back to you; there were days when you’d find yourself sad because you knew that things would never be the same. You were extremely grateful that he was in your life again, but your heart desired more. As a human, it was only natural for you to miss your life with Mark before his life was cut short and he didn’t have to say anything; you knew he wanted the same exact thing. He felt like he was holding you back from so much by sticking around, but he couldn’t leave you.

Even if he wanted to for your sake, so you could live a normal life; the life you dreamed of having together. It may not have been possible for him anymore, but you could still make those dreams a reality. Deep down though, Mark knew if he were to leave, things would get really bad. He knew you had no intentions on following through with any of your life plans if it wasn’t going to be with him. This was the first time you genuinely cried in front of him.

Each one of your sobs was a pain he couldn’t physically feel, but mentally and spiritually, it was tearing him apart. He was angry; he wanted to blame everybody; he wanted to blame the weatherman for not being accurate with the weather on that specific evening, he wanted to blame it on the pilots for even allowing the plane to take off, he wanted to blame the flight attendants for not speaking out about how it wasn’t a good time to fly.

Mark could’ve waited. He would’ve waited if it meant he’d still be alive. If it meant the two of you could actually be together. If he was still alive, he was sure he would’ve asked you to marry him and the two of you would’ve started having a family by now. It was too late for the “what if’s” but he couldn’t help himself. He allowed you to cry, no matter how much it was hurting him as the tears continued to fall, but from what he learned during your relationship, crying was one of the only ways you could completely move on from what was bothering you. A few moments later, he lifted your chin up and kissed both of your cheeks before placing a chaste kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“I—I don’t know what to say baby. Fuck—I’m so fucking sorry y/n—“

“Why are you sorry Mark? It wasn’t something you could control. I’m sure it’s harder for you. I’m probably making you feel terrible by acting this way. I should be the one apologizing. You’re only trying to help me I just—I don’t know. I really don’t know. I feel so defeated. I’m still trying to understand why such a terrible thing happened to such a wonderful person and why you were taken away from me so early. There was so much he had yet to do Mark—I know things happen for a reason but what was the reason? I’m sorry baby. I’ll stop.” He shook his head in disagreement as he led you back to the bed and pulled you on to his lap.

“I know, I think things like that too—I try so hard to come up with reasons myself but nobody ever really knows. I shouldn’t say this, but once I saw the invitation on the counter, I couldn’t help but picture us being the ones getting married. I dreamt about marrying you the day I asked you out. Even before we started dating, I knew you were the one I planned on spending the rest of my life with. That should’ve been you walking down the aisle—I know you would’ve looked so breathtakingly beautiful and knowing my sensitive ass, I would’ve cried because I still can’t process the fact that I’m the lucky man who gets to love you. I would’ve showed you in bed right after the wedding finished and throughout the entire duration of the honeymoon just how happy you make me and how excited I was to be able to call you my wife. I’m sorry I can’t give you the life you’ve always dreamt of baby—the life you deserve—I’m so fucking sorry—“ hearing his voice crack over something that he had no control over was heartbreaking.

You felt selfish for feeling the way you did. For still being so angry over his death not knowing how he must’ve felt and hearing him confirm that it caused him so much agony himself really tugged at your heartstrings. He was still so patient, so caring and so understanding when it came to your hostility. But he out of all people should be the one who was angry; it was his life that was taken away. Sure, you lost the love of your life—but he lost the ability to live his and you couldn’t hate yourself more than you did in that moment.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to y/n. I know you’re still hurting and I wouldn’t want to be around people knowing that they pity me and you know how much I hate when people console me knowing they don’t genuinely care about me of how I’m doing. I just—I want you to try and get used to living or attempting to live a normal life. You’re probably not going to be able to be who you once were—trauma really does change a person. I just wanted you to get used to being around people again. But don’t feel like you have to okay? I know I said to do it for my sake, however, if it makes you uncomfortable and you’re not ready, then you can just decline and you and I can just stay here and watch Netflix all day while cuddling. We can also make out a little if that’s what you want—I’m really glad I don’t feel pain; don’t lie, I know you love these luscious lips of mine.”

You took a look out the beautiful man in front of you and began leaving fleeting kisses all around his face before connecting your lips together in a passionate kiss. Mark was right; things wouldn’t be the same as they used to be, but you were one of the very few lucky people who got the chance to continue having their loved one in their life even after they’ve passed on. You had to be grateful for what you were given to to show your gratitude, you had to live for yourself; or in your case, you wanted to live for Mark. It was unfair of to to even try to take away your own life knowing his was unfairly taken away from him.

In order to show him how happy you were to have him continually by your side, you had to stop with the grudges; stop being so deceitful and so angry and accept what happened for what it was. Being hateful and depressed wasn’t going to bring Mark back to life, but you had him around; you felt safe again. You felt alive again and you were genuinely happy again. That was all that mattered. After a steamy make out session and a joke thrown in there about how you weren’t able to get him hard with you retaliating that if wasn’t physically possibly, you leaned your head against his chest and smiled softly.

“There might not be a heartbeat anymore, but if there was, it would probably be going crazy right now.” You let out a soft chuckle and gently squeezed his bicep.

“I’ll go. But only if you’re going to come with me.” He beamed down at you and playfully pinched your butt cheek as a force of habit.

“Of course I’m coming with you—ugh if only I was still alive. I miss the many compliments your aunts and cousins would make about how handsome I am and how lucky you are to have me—no matter how many times you hit me baby o can’t feel a thing.” You rolled your eyes at his comment, but brought back some of his hair and placed it behind his ear.

“I love you Mark Tuan. Thank you for coming back to me.”

“I love you more. I’ll always come back to you y/n. I’m yours forever baby.”

[scribble-scrabbles]

Writing Prompt - “Wrong Timeline”

[WP] You’re doing research in an old library when a stranger comes running up to you. They go to give you a hug while saying, “My love.” You flinch away and their expression falls. Under their breath they say, “Fuck. Wrong timeline.”

...based on these findings, we can conclude that the enzymatic reaction is stable at physiological pH, and thus…

My eyelids drag coarsely across my weary eyes as I blink up at the time. I'd been waist deep in journal articles in the ancient half of the university library for hours, and everything was blurring together, getting me nowhere. Another day wasted. I sighed, gently closing the journal and placing it back in it's spot on the table, where dozens of books and journals littered the workspace. I closed my eyes and inhaled the musky scent of old books and old buildings, letting my thoughts drift as they wished, relinquishing control. 

I was 2 years into a PhD program, researching the biochemical processes of aging and going nowhere in the meantime. The whole field was chock full of pseudoscience and impossible to prove theoreticals, resulting in a metric fuck-ton of useless drivel that I needed to parse through while writing my thesis. Trying to be a “serious scientist” in a field of superficial commercial products was exhausting and disheartening. And yet, like all budding scientists, I felt my cause was righteous - that unlocking the mechanisms of aging would let us reverse senility and save those we held most dear. It was a pipe dream, and I knew it, but I clung to the hope that one day this would all mean something. I peered at the stacks on my table and sighed, rubbing my temples and feeling the headache starting there. 

Time for a change of scenery. I thought to myself, standing and stretching. I was deep in the stacks of the older section of the library building, where largely forgotten volumes of scientific journals and old medical texts were housed. The room was largely silent, minus the hum of the ventilation system and occasional creak of the floor above me. I liked it here, wrapped in solitude and blanketed in the smell of books and old wood, as opposed to the laboratory or classroom where I was constantly asked questions I couldn’t answer about where my project was heading and what, exactly, it was that I wanted to accomplish here. A female in academia isn’t exactly new, nowadays, but a female in academia studying biochemistry in a laboratory that also tested makeup and skin care products was treated as a joke. 

Slinging my purse over my shoulder, I turn to go back to the main library when I hear a faint “pop” somewhere in the stacks beside me. I know the odd pops and creaks this wing makes well enough, and I’m stuck with the sensation that I am no longer alone. I shift to see into the cluster of shelves and see a figure moving among the rows. How did someone get past me without me seeing them? 

“Hello?” I call, “Sorry, I have a whole bunch of journals over here on the table, so if you can’t find what you’re looking for you may want to…” I trail off as the figure moves into the open. He’s a tall, slender college student, and he looks at me with a sudden warmness and recognition that sends a flush of embarrassment through me. I’ve never seen this man before in my life, but he’s looking at me as though I am his oldest friend.

“Oh thank goodness! My love!” He rushes towards me, moving to embrace me. I flinch backwards, suddenly alarmed, running through every potential acquaintance in my memory and coming up blank. I am absolutely sure I have never seen this man before in my life. He stops, his warmness instantly replaced by despair. “Fuck!” He exclaims. “Wrong timeline. Again.” He drops his hands to his pockets and averts his gaze. “Sorry to bother you, ma’am.” I stand in stunned silence, gripping my purse. His green eyes flick back up to mine, briefly, and I see what seems like true sorrow there. 

“Does that line ever actually work on anybody?” He stares at me, confused. “Because, I mean, I have to admit it’s unique but a little bit over the top.” I smile at him, and after a moment, he returns it.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” He snorts out a short laugh, still obviously embarrassed. “You look just like someone I know.”

“Someone you love, you mean? She must be pretty special.” 

The stranger looks at his shoes. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” 

“Why did you think she’d be here? I’m pretty much the only one who ever uses this section of the library - at least for the past few months.” 

“Ah, well..” he rocks back and forth on his heels, “She’s been working on this project for astrophysics and I thought I’d find her here.” 

“Well, there’s your problem.” I laugh. “This is the medical wing.” He looks up sharply. 

“Medical?” 

“Yeah, pretty sure it has been for at least 2 years or so now. Probably a whole lot longer than that.” 

“You’re in the medical field?”

“Well no, not exactly. I’m in a biochemistry program, but I’m studying the aging process and…”

“Oh, well,” he starts, then pauses, “that’s different.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I feel heat rising to my cheeks. “Because I’m a girl and I’m…” he holds his hand up soothingly.

“No, no! I just mean…” he trails off. I cock and eyebrow at him, waiting. He sighs. “I just mean, you’ve never done this before.”

“Well of course I’ve never done this before, it’s not like I have other PhD’s just lying around.”

He meets my eyes for a moment, seeming to weigh his options. Then he shrugs and says “I mean, in every alternative universe, I’ve never once seen you pursue medicine. It just...isn’t you. You’ve always been a physicist and a damn good one. I just have a hard time seeing you as anything else.”

“I….what?”

He sighs. “Your name is Rachel Turner. You grew up in Huntsville, Alabama where you were supposed to get interested in rocket science and physics. I don’t know what diverted that, but I know that in every other timeline, you still love books, terrible movies, and have a soft spot for old things and history.” I shift uncomfortably and he laughs softly. “And when you’re uncomfortable you push your hair back behind your ears like that, and shift your weight to your left foot.” I straighten, and consciously shift my weight back to my right. “You’re stubborn and fierce and have never encountered a puzzle you couldn’t tease apart.” The twinkle in his eyes falters, slightly, “Until you open the portal.”

“Was I your TA or something?” 

“What?” He looked confused.

“Is that how you know so much about me? Are you stalking me?” 

“What, no, I…”

“Because if you did you’re a terrible stalker. I only lived in Alabama until I was 3, we moved when my father died and my mother needed to go back to Ohio to find work and be closer to family.”

“Your dad died?”

“Yeah, early onset dementia.”

“...which is why you’re studying aging.” He nods, satisfied. ”Look, I’m sorry for scaring you and wasting your time. I’ll let you get back to your work.” He motions to the stack of books on the table.” He turned to go back into the stacks.

“Wait!” I exclaim, before I know what I’m saying. He looks back at me over his shoulder and smiles. 

“You may want to find Sam Albertson over in the physics department.” He says, turning back to walk away. “But he’s not going to remember any of this though.” 

I stood, stunned and watched him disappear into the stacks. I heard another faint “pop” a few seconds later and the sound snapped me out of my confusion. I rushed into the stacks after him, but found nothing. I searched and searched, feeling along the walls, looking for hidden openings, until the library lights flipped on and off flipped on and off three times, signaling that it was about to close. I returned to my table, looking all around for any clues of the stranger’s identity or where he could have gone. Had I really just met a time traveler? Could such a thing really be possible? 

I shook my head, thinking it was more likely that I had just fallen asleep while reading my articles. 

As I made my way back to my apartment, I remembered the name he had given me and decided to search for “Sam Albertson” on social media. I nearly dropped my phone when the stranger’s green eyes looked back at me from his profile picture. 

“That little fuck.” I whispered, heading towards the physics department. He was a graduate student, so maybe he would be there this late in the evening. He was published on a paper describing faster-than-light travel models, which gave me a place to start looking. My heart thundered in my chest, a mixture of rage and embarrassment, as I ran up the steps of the physics building. I looked briefly at the directory, then started making my way towards the quantum research labs. Halfway down the hall, my annoyance became tinged with terror. Why was I looking for my stalker in a mostly empty building at night? What if he was dangerous? My steps slowed as I came to the door. Did I really want to do this? I froze, suddenly acutely aware of the insanity of my undertaking. My thoughts whirled through a hundred possible scenarios, not one of them favorable. I turned, and started quickly back down the hallway. All of this could wait until morning, until after I had eaten and slept and had a clearer head. 

The door opened behind me, and I reflexively quickened my steps. 

“Can I help you?” A voice called after me. I stopped, chagrined, and slowly turned to face him. 

Behind me stood Sam Albertson, just as he had stood before me in the library a few hours ago. Except, not the same, I realized, as I took him in. In the library, his hair was longer and shaggier, and his face held a whisper of stubble that made him look older and more rugged. The Sam in front of me now was clean shaven, with short, but still unruly hair. His green eyes looked at me curiously.

“Sorry.” I muttered. “I was just…” He took a couple of hesitant steps towards me. My mind was racing, trying to make everything make sense. 

“Are you okay?” He said, curiosity shifting to concern. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

I shook myself, trying to fit the pieces together. You’ve never encountered a puzzle you couldn’t  tease apart, the stranger had said. The stranger. Not the man in front of me. I suddenly knew exactly what I was going to do. I straightened and extended my hand. “I’m Rachel,” I said. “I’m thinking about changing my major.”

  Sam grinned, taking my hand. “Oh yeah, what are you interested in?” 

I grinned back.  “Tell me about alternative universes.” 

[bnhavibes]

sorry. Todoroki x Reader ANGST(trigger warnings apply)

TW: mentions of depressive episodes, suicidal ideation, self harm, and an attempt.

a/n: PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU WILL BE PUSHED OVER A LIMIT OF COMFORTABILITY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I LOVE YOU AND I AM HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK.

“SOMEONE, PLEASE!! CALL AN AMBULANCE, THE FIREMEN OR POLICE” A shriek in the doemitory common room made Todoroki’s head snap up from the book he was studying.

Another typical day had passed, where Shoto had missed classes while he was healing from his injuries at the Hosu City incident. He huffed as he stood up, thinking it was a prank another student was pulling on the rest of them.

“You extras know we’re heroes in training, right?” Bakugou laughed, but stopped when he saw the student frantically grabbing the pay phone and quickly dialing.

“HELLO!? YES, THERES A STUDENT ON THE EDGE OF A WINDOW OF THE UA DORMITORIES!! I—I THINK SHES GOING TO JUMP—” The words ignited a click in Todoroki’s head. Immediately he started running to the staircase, ignoring the calls of the Dekusquad to wait for them.

“Who’s the student on the roof? Why hasn’t anybody gone up there!?” He could hear Tenya ask. But Shoto was already three flights up before he could hear the answer.

“It’s Y/N.”

————————————————————

Depression is a funny thing.

One day you’re aceing all the practice exams and cramming in four hour long study sessions, the next you’re.... on the floor of the girls lockerroom. Letting the blood that was oozing out of your tender thighs dilute in the hot shower. Your throat dry and scratchy from the stifled cries and heaving sobs now causing extreme discomfort. On days like today, nothing could go right.

You missed your morning alarm, and the three missed calls from Deku. He even texted Shoto that you weren’t in class, resulting in a visit from the injured boy. He was very concerned, but he kept saying he didn’t want to pester you if you were busy. And you couldn’t help but think you must have done something to him, hurt him in some way to make him feel like he was a pest.

‘You’re such a piece of shit friend. You can’t even tell your crush that he didn’t do this, YOU did��� You thought to yourself, edging the tears that were barely wobbling over the crevice of your eyelids. You let another ribbon of pain glide over your scarred, hidden skin, this time going over your ribcage.

It didn’t help that your quirk was Cell Manipulation. You would have been the perfect surgeon.

“If you weren’t such a fucking idiot.” You whispered to yourself, ripping another slice into your ribcage. After the water ran clear, you shut it off; Your mind was a fuzzy collision of seratonin fighting to break the barrier cells, and the depression fighting off your meds. You sniffled, wrapping your towel around your body and heading to your room. Fortunately for you, being on the fifth floor meant you got a whole floor of showers just for you today. There were only two other girls on this floor, Yaoyarozu and Asui, and they were in class. So were the boys, so you could be alone in the truest sense. The entire building was empty, save for Todoroki. He was probably in the lounge, you assumed so because his door was shut and there was no lights on when you passed by on your way to your own. The weight on your shoulders began to increase your symptoms, your feet getting heavier and heavier with each step.

As you entered your room you didn’t bother to turn the lights on; Your impending gloom liked to sulk in the darkness, letting it envelop you in a wicked, yet soft embrace. You let the towel fall off your body and tossed your bathing items on the ground, not caring how they made a mess. ‘Maybe some music will make me feel better.’ You think before chuckling a bit as the most depressing playlist you have started playing rather loudly through your speakers. You didn’t care though, you liked your kusic loud, and besides, there was two whole hours until training was over. Reluctantly, you slipped into a pair of boyshorts and your favorite camisole. It was teal, your favorite boy’s right eye color, and it helped you ease out of a full on panic attack for all but a moment when you realized you had forgotten there was a 300 point practice exam you had to turn in today as you tore through your backpack for your writing journal.

It was the last straw.

Frantically, you tore apart anything you could find. Notes, drawings, your pathetic drawings of your classmates, nothing was safe from the hyperventilating girl growling at her own procrastination. Once you saw your journal, you stopped, only to read the first page and begin to rip them all out. Tears streamed down your face as confessions to Shoto had begun to fill the pages. A few hit the pages, making you angrier. You kick and scream at your journal, throwing it as hard as you could at the back wall. But, with your luck, it smashed through the windowsill, glass shattering all over your carpeted floor.

“UUUUUUUUGRRRRRR!!! WHY DO I RUIN EVERYTHING I TOUCH!?” You scream out the window, at no one but yourself. You kick the rest of the glass off the frame, and tear the screen off before chucking it to the ground below. Your eyes fail to see the group of students arriving over the horizon on your left, focused on the space between you and the dirt the screen landed upon. Your heartbeat was loud, your ears ringing as you focused your attention on the edge of the windowsill, grabbing on the frame and slowly lifting a foot up on it. You were trembling, you could hear it in your breath, the music behind you setting you off.

Take me to the roof top.

I wanna see, the world when I stop...

breathing..... turning blue.

The saddening lyrics hit home, making you squeeze your eyes shut as you lifted yourself onto the ledge carefully. Your hands gripped the frame so tightly your knuckles turned white, your own body fighting for life more than your brain. You focused yourself on the words, singing lightly as you debated letting go, not hearing the panicked screams and cries from your classmates below.

Tell me love is endless.

Don’t be so pretentious.

They were panicking, collecting the torn pages of your journal and attempting to call you to your senses. You didn’t blame them, but they couldn’t help but plead and shout their own apologies for hurting you in any way.

They begged.

“Sorry cant save me now,” You sing, swaying forward, but jolting back a bit each time you got a little too close. “Sorry... I don’t know how—”

You were so sure, but your body refused to let you be so hasty.

————————————————

Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek

That’s what a year long headache

does to you....

The music echoed off the walls of hallway of your floor, the acoustics reverberated in the stairwell, and Todoroki pushed himself harder. He knew that playlist. He knew every time you played it, you were always crying in your room, refusing his help until he would bring you a very late dinner, which you would take silently, avoiding his gaze as he watched your tear stained face.

I’m not okay, I feel so scattered.

Don’t say I’m all that matters.

Leave... me.

Deja vu.

‘Please don’t be stupid.’ He thought to himself, yanking the door open, leaving Deku but a flight behind. (Iida and Uraraka decided to keep an eye on your from the outside.) He stormed down the hall, skidding as he got to your door before knocking.

“Hey, it’s Sh-Shoto.” He said, trying to talk over the music. “Open up, please.” You couldn’t hear him though, you had started screaming the lyrics with your entire chest.

Sorry can’t save me now

Sorry there’s no way out

but doooooown

Knocking became pounding, “(Y/N)! Open up, please!” He begged, beginning to overwork his emotions. He couldn’t handle losing you, not when he was just now recognizing his true feelings for you. His pounding turned into kicking, and attempts at knocking your door down with his body.

“Calllll my friends and tell them that I love them!” You screamed, now noticing the worried Ochako, “AND ILL MISS THEM.” Her protests were drowned out by approaching sirens. ‘Fuck,’ you thought. ‘I’ve only got a few seconds. It’s now or—’

Call my friends and tell them that I

love them.

“DETROIT SMAAAAAASHHH!” Izuku’s wail from the otherside of your door, and the loud CRASH! had you do a 180 on the ledge, gripping tightly as the impact made your entire door frame blow off, resulting in a gust of wind pushing you back. You blinked slowly as the dust settled and there he was.

“Sh-Shoto...” You whisper, the song reaching it’s last seconds.

And I’ll miss them. Sorry.

“(Y/N)...” He says.

Sorry...

“Don’t.” He warns as your fingers begin to lift off the edge.

“Sorry.” You sang the last note.

——————————————————————————

SUAOSHAOISHZHS I HAD TO DO IT IM SORRY I WAS LISTENING TO BILLIE EILISH WHILE I WAS ON MY FEELINGS AND I WAS LIKE OH WAIT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD ANGST💀💀💀💀💀

Let me know what you think, I’m sorry ahead of time if I made you cry.