#i am so mad now

[bitacrytic]

You know that you will die in ten years.

What if she leaves and goes and marries someone who dies in five years? Or seven years? Or even two months?

You have ten years!!! That's more than most people get. That's ten years where neither of you will take the other for granted because the time is finite.

While the rest of the world is fooled by the possibility of permanence, you get to walk into a relationship with a surety of ten years.

Honestly, I don't understand how that's a downside. Tell her the truth you dufus!

[scarefox]

Just found out that the clinic therapist srsly diagnosed me with the psychological term of: personality disorder of passive aggressive, defiantness, doesn't want to bring performance at work and always feels misunderstood for no reason, has issues with authorities, jealous of others happiness

Just because one of those "multiple choice tests" and I said at the very beginning that:

some of my former jobs were bad and made employees sick (which is a fact), one of my boss overstepped contract agreements and I don't want to work in those jobs conditions anymore but was always too anxious to defend myself against mistreatment at work and needed the money, so I still did all of what they wanted from me (on the cost of my mental and physical health) so I need to learn to step up

I have issues at work being 8h forced in a room to focus on one single, often boring, activity while my mind is jumping everywhere and I struggle to recharge energy and serotonin (due to potential ADHD or autism)

I am afraid of people judging me wrong or discriminate me (because I am a nerd and queer), which happened!! I literally got bullied for not fitting the norm...

I often feel misunderstood (due to potential ADHD or autism) because I sometimes think different than other people and can't voice my thoughts properly sometimes

I don't want to be put into normative cliche boxes because I don't feel fitting into many social norms (especially gender related)

My main issues with work are literally my anxiety disorder, mental overload and low frustration & serotonin level...

Now I get why they treated me the way they did and always acted like I wanted them to free me from going back to work ... so I guess my mistrust to fully open up to them was valid.

Like it basically started with me "I am worried people misread / misunderstand me", therapist misreads me and accuses me of judging people, me trying to correct that and she "you are very defensive of your image and feel misunderstood" uhm yes because it was wrong??

I remember the one question that also confused me "Could it be that since you have such issues with your father, that you are against masculinity and since masculinity often stands for efficiency you are against that too?" I denied that because literally no?? But she was like "Guessed you wouldn't agree right away."

I am genderqueer and transmasc! I literally was among the best students in design and media school (except for math related stuff)??? I worked freelance ontop of my other part time jobs! I always am ready to work hard, efficient, am a perfectionist (which is an issue), I just DON'T want to work anymore for exploitative assholes who deliberately ruin my health for profit... And I am currently just out of energy and down and anxious which gives me panic attacks thinking about working in bad circumstances again which made me lowkey suicidal at the end.... I told them all of that but hmmm yea guess I am just allergic to efficiency.

Could have as well asked my parents opinion about me, they would have diagnosed me the same bs.

Now I am aggressive and pissed. BISH this diagnosis was deleted from the DSM-5 but is still in the ICD-System since WW2 based on soldiers who denied going back onto the field. It's also described as "being stuck in puberty" but also "There is no large-scale research yet, so the diagnosis should be handled very cautiously, if at all." and "This diagnosis should not be made if the behavior occurs during a depressive episode" (which I have... a major depressive episode she confirmed herself)

Are you fucking kidding me....

It also says I have to check for 5 points of the criteria list.... I only check 2 from 9....

[hinamie]

post-graduation trip airport looks

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[egophiliac]

lostinthebookwithstitch.jpg

this is all I can muster right now, too busy having my brain absolutely melted by the September schedule, what is happening

[in-kyblogs]

Doomed by the narrative - Doomed by her parents

[dreammeiser]

Kaloo, Kalay! Earl Conversational Sprites hastily put together for his Birthday Ask Session, which was on June 1st! Thank you to everyone that wished him a happy birthday and visited with him on his special day <:o)

[jack-o-laa]

Alright,, one piece got me

[hellinhawkins]

”byler would be rushed!”

wrong! mileven kissed after knowing each other for around six episodes when they were twelve, and eleven couldn’t speak basic english! mike and will have known each other since they were five and know everything about each other! they have had intense buildup over five seasons!! hope this helps <3

“byler would be poor writing!”

wrong again! mike and will have had deeper more heartfelt scenes since episode one than mileven has and it would reveal how much effort the duffers put in to hiding easter eggs and hinting strongly in this direction for YEARS!! hope you find this helpful <333

[timethehobo]

Hearing news that he’s confirmed romanceable (and described as intimate and sensual) got me so giddy I might just expire.

[lightbulb-warning]

today i offer you prompts 11-20 for isat month!! ignore your calendar THANKYUUUU <3

[deoidesign]

I'm so mad that post was misinformation because there is actually an EXTREMELY important conversation to have about the production schedules artists are forced into. There's no need for exaggeration, the conditions are bad.

I work for webtoon. My publication schedule is weekly. While publishing I'm required 10-15 pages a week. Fully colored.

This means I'm finishing a 150 page fully colored graphic novel every 10-15 weeks.

When my comic is not updating, I am not getting paid. Any time writing, editing, or off is out of my own pocket. I don't get healthcare. They do not provide any assistants. They expect me to promote myself; they chose to deprioritize me before I even launched and gave me an end date half a year in. I never had a chance.

And this is the industry standard! Every company has artists forced into crunch hours, overtime, and burnout. Artists are literally dying early due to it. So many of my friends can't afford to go to the doctor.

It's unsustainable and untenable, and it's also the expectation our audiences have.

If we want to have this conversation, there's plenty of conversation to be had with the realities of the situation. It's bad as is.

[novelconcepts]

wait wait wait, so we had: a gorgeously diverse, complicated story about the folly of the Jedi, set against the backdrop of truly fascinating Force witch lore and a potential deep-dive into the real fallout of suppressing emotion, complete with totally rad lightsaber fights, grayscale characters all around, and the coolest fucking helmet in the history of the franchise, all tucked into the world of Star Wars, which makes money simply by existing--and they cancelled it?? i am going to explode

[egophiliac]

so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

[umblrspectrum]

Can we get more of the murder drone x rain world au?

ok