#i am so loud and feel so sick | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

halfdeadwallfly · 5 months ago

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goodnight officially bc i have work in five hours and i need to be asleep NOW

#boink #iiiiiiiii #i hate myself so quietly sometimes #i am so loud and feel so sick

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bogos-bint3d · 2 months ago

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ok ok I trust you to be as insane about this as I am

in the seven eight nine dialogue, when Alphys talks about how seven loved five and was just doing what they felt they had to, Toriel interprets it as being Asgore doing what he had to for monsterkind, but I think she was actually thinking of Undyne doing what she felt like she had to by attacking Frisk, because she loves Asgore (and Alphys). being "sicced" on them as the captain of the royal guard, and playing the rule of the "misled antihero" in undertale's story.

when Toriel says that this makes seven "weak", Undyne bursts in with a distracting display of strength, trying to dismiss the topic. you could make the argument that she just wants to defuse Toriel from being mad at Asgore, but she has a seriously pissed look on her face. as if she took that personally, but also didn't know how to argue with it...

ANON. ANON YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT FOR THIS HOLY SHIT. ANON. ANON WHO ARE YOU ILY

DUDE YOUR MIND UXJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJD IM AO CTAZY ABOUT THIS MAN TY FOR SENDKNG THIS YOU ARE SO SMART OML SHSHSJSKSKSKK

^actual image of me right now thank you so so so so much anonymous. When I find you.

#OHJHHJKIGHHSHDDDHHDHEH i am fuckijg sick with feelings right now #anon dude how does it feel to be so freaking right dude #omgggg im insane this is making me insane anon ily #who sent this............#sorry i didn't answer this straight away btw this whole day ive been somewhere really loud so i couldnt properly process the 789 dialogue #but my god now that ive read it along with your analysis......... hhdndndndndnddn #i am SICK #ough someone else being peak undyne understander™️ this has extended my lifespan for fifteen million years #you. you get it.#undertale #asks #undyne #utdr #undyne undertale #undyne analytics #undertale analysis #utdr newsletter #toby fox newsletter #undertale newsletter #deltarune newsletter #i cant #i cant even think right now #dude #dude tysm for this #undyne nation ily o7 #this ones for @w-a-ll-s (? hope i got that right) @ryyyybaaaa @shedpuns @potatolord72 and @mistymountainsgay .thr gang.

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virgothozul · 1 year ago

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Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.

Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.

#I am SICK of Miri’s voice ngl #I know kids are loud. And make a mess of EVERYthing. That’s why i stay away.#But for Kazurei ; I made it to the end #They are precious #Rei is so cute I love this guy #He has 0 human skill and still is effortlessly hilarious and a little cutie 👏💖#i wish we had more of their relationship bc they have sth really special #They never question their trust in each other like it never crosses their mind. They disagree almost all the time but they never part #It’s more natural than breathing. They’re always saying stuff like « it’s not fit to involve other people in our way of life »#it’s not even an option to live apart. They clearly will spend all their lives together #Except that scene it’s so weird when Kazu says « hum with Miri gone we don’t have a reason to live together anymore » lol man #Not as if you guys were already joined at the hip before meeting her. But I get the «the family life changed us now sth’s missing #and it feels incomplete ». But still guys. You are soul mates.#Also the « of course he comes with me. He’s my partner. » line 💕💍#even if at some point they meant to part ways ; really they can’t be separated.#kazurei #No homo daddies #Buddy daddies #kazuki x rei #Domestic gays

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icewindandboringhorror · 18 days ago

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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with #elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the #grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything #but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd #nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable #are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that #is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant #amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear #masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations #arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will #go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring #annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then #YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated #while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol #I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are #saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to #get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined #with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with #others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then #when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O #also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming #looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj #I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a #person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some #more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all #of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol #I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to #contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***

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teddybeartoji · 3 months ago

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whenever i'm abt to get overwhelmed by a sound toji just places his hands over my ears like proper earmuffs and ooh my god it helps so much it calms me down so fast i always just kind of melt into him

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rebornofstars · 3 months ago

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Silly Game Time: COMPLETE THE PHRASE! "You can always _____, it's always morally correct."

SILLY GAME TIME! i'm so sorry this took forever to answer 😭 how are you doing? you know, if you want to, you can always murder people who have shouty-screamy conversations with their group of 10+ friends on long train rides, it's always morally correct. i know it. and on a totally unrelated note, guess what my train was like today........

#😭😭😭#social tag #between the overexcited mob of highschoolers and the guy who would not shut up about how rich he was. it was a very very long train #and i say this as someone who used to spend 10+ hours on public transport every week.#anyways. SO SORRY i havent had the energy for silly game time!!! i was sick!!!#but now i am better and will be going through my asks #and for legal reasons this is a joke. i have committed zero murders #and do not actually feel any bloodlust. i am just very sensitive to loud and irregular noises #anyway.

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crabussy · 1 year ago

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everyone in my school loves to scream as louyd as they can on purpose to hurt me just because they can

#I'm lying if it isn't clear #but god fuck does it feel like this sometimes #my heart is beating so fast and I feel so sick some girl decided to just start screaming as loud as possible for some reason #it was. excited screams but it was so loud it was so so loud and I immediately flinched and grabbed my head and started breathing hard #its so Painful its like someone is scratching me or scaring me withreally frightening stuff #I fucking hate being autistic sometimes man #OKAY TO REBLOG BY THE WAY. if you have felt like this #listen to my gibberish boy #they all turned to look at me too I saw out of the corner of my eye #its so upsetting here they changed the rules so that the only quiet classroom is now the designated eating spot #for 25+ people #its a small classroom #its really really bad and the school isn't fixing it or doing anything about it and every day is hell because #lunch and break are the only times I can recover from class #and now I Don't Have That #I am on the edge of breaking the fuck down I hate this #my brain is WEVIL #<- meant to say evil but wevil is funnier. my brain is WEEVIL you guys. bug

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poetryofyouth · 2 months ago

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i did it.

i emailed my psychiatrist about putting me on sick leave

i cried a lot but i did it. i hate myself and love myself for doing this.

most of all i wish i could sleep and that my headache would stop

#i will regret this tomorrow i am sure #right now i am so freaking out that my guilt over not working is not as loud #but i bet when i have to tell them tomorrow i will hate myself so mcuh #but it is pretty clear what my body is telling me if i was sick for a week and fine and then back for one quite chill day #and i feel like i am physically dying #not in the mentally suicidal sort of way more the way of #i can feel my body rotting away if i pour in any more stress hormones my flesh will simply slide off my bones #which is a strange sensation i am not used to this

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girlthativealwaysbeen · 14 days ago

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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????

#my dad is like #you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then #and im like bhai what #mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me #both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me #mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and #the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff #i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself #because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want #im so tired man #why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these #complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off #people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path #have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories #and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at #atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry #but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything #ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me #i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and #untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends #i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made #i didn't understand anything back then #but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something #ive prayed to god that you die and i still do #it would directly mean 4 people being happy #anyway #dni #this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck

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babyfairy · 1 year ago

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i need more friends

#i hate being alone with my thoughts. i am so sick of it #i feel like i’ll go fucking insane if i have to continue on like this #i don’t even want to invite anyone new into my life because i am so terrified of loss but feeling this isolated and alone is #going to be the end of me if it goes unaddressed #like it can’t continue. waking up every single day feels like a punishment #and life around me just continues like normal. like nothing is wrong #i want to die and i still have to work. my family is destroyed but people are around me laughing and joking #how do i stop being consumed by this misery i don’t understand it. and i don’t want to guilt anyone into checking on me or feeling bad for #me. i just want to stop being in so much pain all the time every single day #there is no relief literally ever. it just continues to progress and get worse #literally i look up ways to *** every single day dude and i just have to like. live that way #feels like a cruel joke to me idk. laugh out loud #anyway if you read all this thanks for caring

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bisexualamy · 1 year ago

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idk I just get frustrated when people act surprised that elon musk is being more openly antisemitic when this is a very well worn truth. the ruling class has been weaponizing antisemitism for over 2000 years. they make jewish people into scapegoats for their economic (and sometimes literal) violence. quick, look over there! aren’t the Jews the real problem?

#antisemitism ///#this is a leftist issue as are all other bigotries #I don’t really care if Jews make you uncomfortable for some reason or you blanketly paint all religion with a broad negative brush #antisemitism is one of the oldest bigotries. it’s often so culturally embedded people don’t realize they’re perpetuating it #I am so sick of feeling like me and my friends are the only ones hearing these obvious dog whistles until inevitably people like Elon #just say the quiet part out loud #ren speaks

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pears-trinkets · 7 months ago

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everything sucks so hard rn idk

#mischa isnt eating again all while screaming because shes hungry and pulling every single piece of plastic out of my shelves #all my bags straps and backpacks have saliva stains from her #she will jump into shelves and pull out dvds to lick #and there's no other food i can try #my paycheck lacks 500 euro because i was sick and im still 200 euro in the red after getting my paycheck today #and tomorrow is the tooth surgery and ive been trying to call my dentist because he only applied for 2 of 3 teeth #at my insurance #and these 2 will be over 1k already after my insurance will pay their part #at least the sedation isnt as strong as i thought so i can go home by myself and dont have to rely on any unreliable people #after my mom accused me of making mischa have diarrhea on purpose because the food company changed the recipe and i gave her 1 bag #she hasnt talked to me and im definitely not going to be the one to start a conversation with her because im usually better off without her #so its nice that i dont have to ask her for her assistance tomorrow #just gonna do everything alone like usual #also work is so UUUGGGHHHHH and sucks so hard all my coworkers ignore what i say and just go to other people behind my back to do my job #im stress eating so much all my favorite clothes dont fit anymore and i hate looking in the mirror #i wanna go swimming but i just dont have the energy i just wanna curl up and dont have a body #also i have a comic idea written down for several months now and i wanna finish it for mothers day but i feel so discouraged #wehh #im also so stressed i clawed so much at my face its full of bloody spots i look so bad #every morning my neighbors i dont even share a wall with turn on their super broken washingmachine at 7 am #and it sounds so broken and its so loud it sounds like someone is drilling a hole into the wall for 40 -120 ?>#mins #i haven't been able to sleep properly for like a month #when i go into work everyone is just like oof you dont look good #thanks i know

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sanchoyo · 7 months ago

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our landlady sent someone to fix our kitchen floor (good, it was literally caving in and needed to be fixed for almost a year. Was legit afraid I’d fall thru it) but they are taking sooo long and I haven’t been able to cook for a full week bc our kitchen has to stay empty for them to work so the stove and fridge are just in the corner of another room. So. I’ve been eating chip meals for a full week and I am so sick of them. I need to cook I need VEGEBAL SO BAD I am going crazy

#IM GOING TO GET FUCKING SCURVY #there’s no counters to fix food so I can’t even rly prep and I’m ngl I’ve felt like shit so I don’t wanna leave the house to like #buy shitty premade salads or something but I need to ugh #I’m so sick of ppl being in the house working too the noise is driving me up the wall #it needed to be done and I appreciate them but thee autism is activating #I think my mom said the landlady wanted them to refloor other rooms after they finish the kitchen and I’m like…ok it needs it but if they #do my room and it takes as long as the kitchen does and I cannot squirrel myself away in my room #and have to work from the living room? I’m going to die fr #everyone in my family is loud and I need quiet to work #and my dad smokes in there and it gives me a headache #and where da hell am I going to put my cat. AAA #I’m just very stressed . I want to abscond to the woods where it is Quiet #I hate Sounds my anxiety is level 4849393 I’ve been so cranky it’s BAD #then I feel bad abt feeling bad bc it’s not rhe workers faults they’re doing a good job they put cabinets up and are repainting the walls #like when they were just supposed to be doing the floors . very nice #but adding days on TwT;;#not that it didn’t need the Reno like water damage aside the house is old and not cute old.#falling apart old.#sanchoyorambles

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ducktollers · 1 year ago

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imma keep it real with u guys idk how im gonna stand the anxiety this semester . and i must stand it i have no choice

#grin and bear it. i am so TIRED of grinning and bearing it #actually im not grinning . im glaring to stop my eyes from watering or staring at my hands fidgeting while i bear it #university is just like. i dont belong here. i shouldnt be here. ur all so passionate abt this and i didnt even do the reading.#im too scared to make eye contact or talk . and then i get sad and insecure abt always being the odd one out. while i glare at the floor #every semester i say my name and lie and say sheher pronouns and it makes me taste bile. and i cant stop sweating. and i hate it here.#someone has to sit right next to me and suddenly my breath probably stinks. i probably stink. my skin looks so bad. my hair looks so bad.#and i stare at my lap and see my big ass thighs and im like Oh yeah im a woman. thanks i hate it. if i dont wear a binder i feel sick #if i do wear a binder i cant breathe and cant stop sweating #im tense all day. my whole body hurts. im too anxious to eat. i should bc my stomach will growl.if i eat my stomach will gurgle loud anyway.#i need to get out of here. im so close to the end. ive been dying inside for years. ive never been anything but a student. im terrified.#🙂#u know. its like that #x

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straydogged · 8 months ago

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trying to go to sleep but I am in a distracting amount of pain and I am so tired :( I wish I had smth I could take

#I knew housework was going to hurt but why did everything start feeling so LOUD when I finally got into bed?#my baseline pain levels are getting worse. it's not stopping. my eds is just going to get more and more painful and debilitating #and there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it #and somehow despite being in more pain and more sick than ever before I have to somehow #find it in me to go to college and get a job #god I am so fucking afraid. I am so scared and I feel doomed #just. let me sleep. please let me sleep.

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driftwoodskeleton · 2 years ago

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how do i get the ending bit of Respite on the Spitalfields IV'd directly into my veins, i need it to live ✨️

#ill settle for sacrificing my hearing #i will not btw thats a joke id never be that reckless with my hearing #just a little deafeningly loud Ghost #as a treat bc im sick #respite on the spitalfields #what the fuck does tobias put in these fucking songs #cocaine???#godDAMN #the band ghost #ghost the band #UGH #i need someone other than my sibling and toya to talk to about them my obsession is breaching containment in the worst fucking way #srsly i am BEGGING some patient ghost fan to lemme ramble at them 😭#i just have so many FEELINGS 😭😭😭💔#ventposting y'all #yeehowdy

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