#i am so loud and feel so sick | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bogos-bint3d · 8 months ago

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ok ok I trust you to be as insane about this as I am

in the seven eight nine dialogue, when Alphys talks about how seven loved five and was just doing what they felt they had to, Toriel interprets it as being Asgore doing what he had to for monsterkind, but I think she was actually thinking of Undyne doing what she felt like she had to by attacking Frisk, because she loves Asgore (and Alphys). being "sicced" on them as the captain of the royal guard, and playing the rule of the "misled antihero" in undertale's story.

when Toriel says that this makes seven "weak", Undyne bursts in with a distracting display of strength, trying to dismiss the topic. you could make the argument that she just wants to defuse Toriel from being mad at Asgore, but she has a seriously pissed look on her face. as if she took that personally, but also didn't know how to argue with it...

ANON. ANON YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT FOR THIS HOLY SHIT. ANON. ANON WHO ARE YOU ILY

DUDE YOUR MIND UXJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJD IM AO CTAZY ABOUT THIS MAN TY FOR SENDKNG THIS YOU ARE SO SMART OML SHSHSJSKSKSKK

^actual image of me right now thank you so so so so much anonymous. When I find you.

#OHJHHJKIGHHSHDDDHHDHEH i am fuckijg sick with feelings right now #anon dude how does it feel to be so freaking right dude #omgggg im insane this is making me insane anon ily #who sent this............#sorry i didn't answer this straight away btw this whole day ive been somewhere really loud so i couldnt properly process the 789 dialogue #but my god now that ive read it along with your analysis......... hhdndndndndnddn #i am SICK #ough someone else being peak undyne understander™️ this has extended my lifespan for fifteen million years #you. you get it.#undertale #asks #undyne #utdr #undyne undertale #undyne analytics #undertale analysis #utdr newsletter #toby fox newsletter #undertale newsletter #deltarune newsletter #i cant #i cant even think right now #dude #dude tysm for this #undyne nation ily o7 #this ones for @w-a-ll-s (? hope i got that right) @ryyyybaaaa @shedpuns @potatolord72 and @mistymountainsgay .thr gang.

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virgothozul · 2 years ago

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Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.

Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.

#I am SICK of Miri’s voice ngl #I know kids are loud. And make a mess of EVERYthing. That’s why i stay away.#But for Kazurei ; I made it to the end #They are precious #Rei is so cute I love this guy #He has 0 human skill and still is effortlessly hilarious and a little cutie 👏💖#i wish we had more of their relationship bc they have sth really special #They never question their trust in each other like it never crosses their mind. They disagree almost all the time but they never part #It’s more natural than breathing. They’re always saying stuff like « it’s not fit to involve other people in our way of life »#it’s not even an option to live apart. They clearly will spend all their lives together #Except that scene it’s so weird when Kazu says « hum with Miri gone we don’t have a reason to live together anymore » lol man #Not as if you guys were already joined at the hip before meeting her. But I get the «the family life changed us now sth’s missing #and it feels incomplete ». But still guys. You are soul mates.#Also the « of course he comes with me. He’s my partner. » line 💕💍#even if at some point they meant to part ways ; really they can’t be separated.#kazurei #No homo daddies #Buddy daddies #kazuki x rei #Domestic gays

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twistedappletree · 2 months ago

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ever since i was a little girl diagnosed with misophonia, i knew i never wanted to get married because “in sickness and in health”??? absolutely not. the second you start coughing, i’m gonna kill you

#the absolute homicidal rage i fly into when someone coughs aksjadKAJDAJJD #and people are always like #‘well don’t you cough too???’#rarely #like i really fucking don’t cough a lot ever and if i do i make it as quiet as possible #or excuse myself because i have fucking mannerssss #even when i’m sick I’ll cough into a pillow #bc i hate my own coughing too damn #i do feel bad that it pisses me off so much but oh MY GOD it is the WORST sound ive ever heard in my life #apple babble 🍎#misophonia #followed up by throat clearing and blowing noses #it’s even worse when men do it because they’re so FUCKING LOUD ABOUT IT SHUT UP BROOOO #it happened to me a lot today bc someone i know is sick so lmaooo i am Not having a good time

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lesbianlenas · 4 months ago

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they should invent a version of being alive that doesn’t make u want to kill yourself

#michelle speaks #spent all day doing work now i have class tomorrow & am still behind on my readings i want peace so bad…….#i should NOT have done journal like here i am for WHAT? literally just to suffer. no other reason.#and i knowwww i will be on schedule after next weekend it’s just that i dont want to live in this world #can i just say that. like it is what it is.#unfortunately the joy of having my friend here was diminished by doing work that made me want to kms all day lol #i am sick of getting and receiving emails. i am sick of researching and writing. i am sick of reading and taking notes. FREE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!#legit was walking outside w my friend two days ago & accidentally said out loud to myself i need to get out of here & she was like what?? 😭#i was thinking abt being in class lmfao & also i didn’t want to walking outside anymore & i unintentionally said it to myself 😭#bur that is literally how i feel ALL the time. sick sick sick!!!!!! i need a lobotomy. maybe they were right.

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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago

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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with #elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the #grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything #but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd #nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable #are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that #is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant #amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear #masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations #arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will #go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring #annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then #YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated #while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol #I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are #saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to #get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined #with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with #others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then #when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O #also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming #looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj #I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a #person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some #more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all #of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol #I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to #contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***

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teddybeartoji · 9 months ago

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whenever i'm abt to get overwhelmed by a sound toji just places his hands over my ears like proper earmuffs and ooh my god it helps so much it calms me down so fast i always just kind of melt into him

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rebornofstars · 9 months ago

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Silly Game Time: COMPLETE THE PHRASE! "You can always _____, it's always morally correct."

SILLY GAME TIME! i'm so sorry this took forever to answer 😭 how are you doing? you know, if you want to, you can always murder people who have shouty-screamy conversations with their group of 10+ friends on long train rides, it's always morally correct. i know it. and on a totally unrelated note, guess what my train was like today........

#😭😭😭#ask tag #between the overexcited mob of highschoolers and the guy who would not shut up about how rich he was. it was a very very long train #and i say this as someone who used to spend 10+ hours on public transport every week.#anyways. SO SORRY i havent had the energy for silly game time!!! i was sick!!!#but now i am better and will be going through my asks #and for legal reasons this is a joke. i have committed zero murders #and do not actually feel any bloodlust. i am just very sensitive to loud and irregular noises #anyway.

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mariyekos · 2 months ago

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Man why does it feel so bad when people help me. I know they want to make things easier on me, and I should appreciate it, and I do in a way, but I mostly just feel like a drain. Why are they wasting time and effort on me when it could go to their own happiness or someone who needs it. I don't want to be ungrateful. I should not be ungrateful. But it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I wish I were better at accepting help or praise. Usually I just feel bad. Like they're lying to me so I don't feel bad, in the case of praise, or like I've falsely presented myself as helpless when I'm not in the case of aid. I don't know. Having a bad time right now all around. I'm so nauseous.

#delete later #erurandomness #negative #i need to go out to dinner with work but i seriously feel sick to my stomach and the idea of walking out and sitting with them #in a loud and crowded place doesn't sit very well with me #i think it's the conference crowds doing it to me. at least in part. i don't like being around so many people for so long #i don't like people looking at me for so long #why were they looking at me for that last presentation #i don't understand. do i make too much eye contact??? isn't that what you're supposed to do as an audience member #look at the person speaking?#i don't get these rules #i don't like when they make sustained eye contact back and it makes it hard not to look away but it's disrespectful not to look right #i don't get these social situations #i feel so sick right now #i want to just take a shower. lie in my bed. and cry #edit: WAIT GODDAMNIT THEY GAVE ME THE CAR KEYS FOR SOME REASON SO I CAN'T NOT GO #I HAVE TO GIVE THE KEYS BACK TO THE DRIVER. WHO GAVE THEM TO ME. EVEN THOUGH I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE #AND DID NOT WANT THE KEYS #BECAUSE I AM TERRIFIED OF BREAKING RULES AND I WAS NOT EXPLICTLY AUTHORIZED TO DRIVE FOR THIS TRIP #i feel worse from anxiety now yaaaay :)

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thefluxsystem · 2 months ago

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There’s this really bittersweet feeling that comes when a long-term host steps back. It’s for good reason, and I’m glad to be here, but part of me misses who “I” (the collective person the world sees) was before. I’m having to figure out who I am like I’m a teenager all over again, which is something I feel both too old yet not old enough for.

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crabussy · 2 years ago

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everyone in my school loves to scream as louyd as they can on purpose to hurt me just because they can

#I'm lying if it isn't clear #but god fuck does it feel like this sometimes #my heart is beating so fast and I feel so sick some girl decided to just start screaming as loud as possible for some reason #it was. excited screams but it was so loud it was so so loud and I immediately flinched and grabbed my head and started breathing hard #its so Painful its like someone is scratching me or scaring me withreally frightening stuff #I fucking hate being autistic sometimes man #OKAY TO REBLOG BY THE WAY. if you have felt like this #listen to my gibberish boy #they all turned to look at me too I saw out of the corner of my eye #its so upsetting here they changed the rules so that the only quiet classroom is now the designated eating spot #for 25+ people #its a small classroom #its really really bad and the school isn't fixing it or doing anything about it and every day is hell because #lunch and break are the only times I can recover from class #and now I Don't Have That #I am on the edge of breaking the fuck down I hate this #my brain is WEVIL #<- meant to say evil but wevil is funnier. my brain is WEEVIL you guys. bug

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thebluebygracieabrams · 6 months ago

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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????

#my dad is like #you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then #and im like bhai what #mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me #both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me #mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and #the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff #i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself #because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want #im so tired man #why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these #complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off #people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path #have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories #and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at #atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry #but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything #ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me #i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and #untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends #i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made #i didn't understand anything back then #but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something #ive prayed to god that you die and i still do #it would directly mean 4 people being happy #anyway #dni #this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck

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hampser · 2 months ago

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Its so hard to get to sleep lately because i an dreading so much in the near future like i dont want to end my game for the day cause it just moves me closer to shit i don't want to live through.

#im teetering...........#I fucking want to move far away so anything anyone else does doesn't affect my everyday life anymore #sick to fucking death of shit changing and i have NO CONTROL IN MY LIFE #I am just an element of everyone elses life #I feel like i cant do anything i actually want to with myself #i don't have the space or the respect or the money or the ability or the right mind or the strength here #No one has ever given me an inch to grow and spread out #I cannot stand this feeling anymore of ending everything feeling like the only agency i actually have #I can't even control when i wake up in the morning because shes so fucking insanely loud #Tomorrow she will wake me hp at 8am again and i will still be here up until 3am bevause i am so miserable.

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sanchoyo · 1 year ago

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our landlady sent someone to fix our kitchen floor (good, it was literally caving in and needed to be fixed for almost a year. Was legit afraid I’d fall thru it) but they are taking sooo long and I haven’t been able to cook for a full week bc our kitchen has to stay empty for them to work so the stove and fridge are just in the corner of another room. So. I’ve been eating chip meals for a full week and I am so sick of them. I need to cook I need VEGEBAL SO BAD I am going crazy

#IM GOING TO GET FUCKING SCURVY #there’s no counters to fix food so I can’t even rly prep and I’m ngl I’ve felt like shit so I don’t wanna leave the house to like #buy shitty premade salads or something but I need to ugh #I’m so sick of ppl being in the house working too the noise is driving me up the wall #it needed to be done and I appreciate them but thee autism is activating #I think my mom said the landlady wanted them to refloor other rooms after they finish the kitchen and I’m like…ok it needs it but if they #do my room and it takes as long as the kitchen does and I cannot squirrel myself away in my room #and have to work from the living room? I’m going to die fr #everyone in my family is loud and I need quiet to work #and my dad smokes in there and it gives me a headache #and where da hell am I going to put my cat. AAA #I’m just very stressed . I want to abscond to the woods where it is Quiet #I hate Sounds my anxiety is level 4849393 I’ve been so cranky it’s BAD #then I feel bad abt feeling bad bc it’s not rhe workers faults they’re doing a good job they put cabinets up and are repainting the walls #like when they were just supposed to be doing the floors . very nice #but adding days on TwT;;#not that it didn’t need the Reno like water damage aside the house is old and not cute old.#falling apart old.#sanchoyorambles

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sleepgarden · 1 year ago

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I’m very sorry to anyone waiting on me for anything, this week I’m going to contact everyone and get back to any messages that I haven’t yet. Thank you so much for your patience!

#It’s sooo unprofessional to get personal on my work account but I’m so behind and it feels awful to be constantly apologizing for delays #I have a lot going on and my health is the worst it’s been. I’m working through it #I am endlessly thankful for the patience and understanding I’ve been given. I feel so fortunate to be surrounded by all of you #Like. I am so lucky as an artist to have such kind people support my work.#And I wanted to acknowledge this out loud! This extends to those of you who leave sweet tags and such not just those commissioning me or #Buying things. I see all of you and it keeps me going. Seriously. Thank you <3 #I will try to catch up by the end of the week (being sick put me back farther than I thought…) and I’m going to end this post before #I get too silly. But thank you all and I hope you’re all well 💕 I’ll delete this later ^^;

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