#i am so fucking insane i am being so serious

[gothamite-rambler]

If Odysseus was luckily bestowed demigod status after he died

And knowing he could easily take on Poseidon, Odysseus took the time to mess with him even more. After all, he was related to Hermes, the god of mischief. No one stopped Odysseus because he was kind of warranted this after the insanity he went through to get home.

Poseidon, Hades, Ares, Odysseus, Zeus, and Hera were having brunch together. Hera brought over another stack of pancakes for the group.

Hera: Ody, enjoy the brunch, but is Penelope not joining us today?

Odysseus: She's exhausted from last night, but she does love your cooking.

Hera: And I love her and you because you're a good man who doesn’t cheat on his wife.

Hera glared at Zeus before sitting down next to him.

Poseidon (scoffing): You act like he’s a hero.

Zeus: Not this again.

Odysseus: Let him whine again; he's still hurt that I wounded him with his own weapon.

Odysseus smirked, relishing the chaos he was stirring.

Poseidon (frustrated): At night, I can still feel the trident in my chest, puncturing my organs.

Odysseus (mocking tone): Oh boo freaking hoo. I made more use of it than you ever did, fucking idiot.

Poseidon (defensive): Hey, I’ve done serious damage to mortals, taken down fleets, made men fear me, and used the water as my body to do all of that! I am tough as steel! One human man was never an issue to me!

Odysseus (smirking): All I remember is you begging me to stop while I stabbed you with your own weapon. Then you thought you won our battle by making me a monster like you. I wanted to get home, you got upset because I didn't kill the son that from my new knowledge you never visited. Whatever makes you happy though.

Poseidon: You've heard legends about my strength and power!

Odysseus (after finishing his tea): Then I saw that you are powerful and have small penis energy and had to one up a human man. You know, like bitches do.

Poseidon (angry): I could dropkick your ass right now I don't care if other people are here! I don't give a fuck!

Odysseus (grinning): I can definitely beat your ass now as well. Want to test that theory?

Ares (intervening, amused): Uncle Poseidon, stop before he uses someone else's godly weapon on you.

Odysseus (snickering): You think he'd cry this time?

Poseidon (shouting): Okay, why is he here?!

Ares (nonchalant): Hey, leave my great-nephew alone. I invited him over for brunch.

Poseidon (exasperated): He’s not welcome here! I want him out of this brunch now!

Ares took a quick sip from his tea cup then placed it back down on the saucer. He was a God of War, but not lacking in good taste when it came to tea.

Ares (maintaining his composure): Those who want him to stay, raise your hands.

Ares, Hades, Zeus, and even Hera raised their hands causing Poseidon to shake with rage as the tides outside matched his enraged energy.

Ares (with a satisfied grin): You've been outvoted, unc. Sit down and eat your pancakes. You can fight him afterwards.

Odysseus chuckled, snatching a pancake off Poseidon's plate. The God of the Tides stood up and stomped out of the room in frustration.

Poseidon: I will be waiting outside!

With that, he left in a huff, the rage causing the tides outside to churn wildly for a few moments.

Odysseus (chuckling, mischievous): I'm glad that you welcomed me and my family to Olympus. This has been a fun time so far.

Zeus (pleased): Yeah, we all enjoy your company, and it's only been a year so far.

Hades (with a bemused expression): Honestly, anyone who makes either of my brothers this mad is always hilarious to me. Poseidon has a serious grudge against you, and it's been a long time since that last happened.

Zeus (shaking his head, incredulous): I can't imagine being that petty and holding a grudge for so long.

Ares (rolling his eyes): Dad, even I know that's a lie.

[ijwtbap]

ㅤㅤ★ㅤA promise — Bakugō

— Bakugō x GN! reader.

You like Katsuki, he likes you — is a fact not a maybe. He doesn't seem to believe it thought.

a/n. I had to keep my promise ig. Is VERY short so im sorry, also Im bad at english and is my first one shot so have some mercy plz.

You were going insane. Just a little bit. Well, actually, you were ready to rip out your hair and scream into the void, standing naked as flames consumed you. That's kind of insane.

Every time Bakugō referred to you as his friend—even if he only said you weren’t that annoying and didn’t mind having you around (which was close enough)—you wanted to disappear.

You had done everything but treat him platonically. Sure, you could see how holding hands, cuddling, or crying together might seem platonic. But kissing in bed and saying “I love you” in a completely serious way?

You were completely lost.

At first, you thought it was a joke, then maybe just a game to him.

But now? Now you’re convinced he’s just... dense.

You could tell Bakugō you love him dead serious while looking him dead in the eyes, on your knees and with a big sign that said 'plz marry me,' and he would still think you're joking.

And it was killing you.

"Are you going to study or what?"

You were in his bedroom, "studying." Yeah, right—studying. You just wanted to be there with him. You’d barged in without warning, and yet, he hadn’t even questioned your presence.

"No."

You knew he liked you back. There was no way he didn't, but fuck, he refused to acknowledge it.

"I like you."

His eyes widen for a second before he looks back at his notes.

"Shut up."

"I really do, tho."

"Yeah, whatever."

"I love you."

"If you don't stop, I will kick you out."

"I love you."

" __________ "

"I love you so much."

"Stop it."

"I want to marry you, one day when we're adults. Small or big wedding, or none at all, whatever you prefer."

"I'm being serious."

"So am I."

You two look at each other, him holding his pen so hard that it looks like it's about to break and you looking at him as if he were the most wonderful and prettiest dense idiot you have seen in your life.

"What do you need me to do to make you believe me?"

He ignores you. Mostly because he knows that paying attention to you would just make him more annoyed (because you clearly weren't going to stop) and because he didn't want to accept it.

"Die."

A small smile comes to your mouth. How many people would get offended by that? A lot, but you knew Bakugō didn't mean it.

"You want to recreate Given now?"

Bakugō rolls his eyes, making more notes in his notebook, but you were able to notice a small smirk.

You had forced him to watch it a couple of months ago, and he swears he didn't cry. You knew the truth, though.

"Shut up."

"Shut me up yourself, you coward."

He lets out another scoff, and he continues to avoid your eyes.

"Study already."

You loved Bakugō Katsuki, and he loved you back.

No matter how much time it would take you, you were going to make sure to take his last name and hold his hand in a not-platonic way.

One day.

"I love you."

I totally didn't use like 3 grammar online correctors, and re read this like 20 times (It will still have an issue, and I know it). I also didn't copy inspired my introduction (?) from a random post.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my bad writing style. Im not doing this again, unless I get REALLY bored.

521 words.

[rafeswhre]

Hi 🙃 could you maybe write a fanfic where rafe gets hurts and reader is patching him up and there’s lots of tension because he’s so stubborn? Thank you 🤗

rafe cameron x fem!reader

warnings: suggestive content but not smut (almost lol), mentions of blood, established relationship!

a/n: english isn’t my first language i’m sorry for any mistakes (specially verbs lmao)

currently it was 1:00 am, lately you couldn’t sleep, so watching your phone in you bed was pretty much the best you could do.

you heard something on your window, which was strange, you turned around to find something but you couldn’t find anything.

again.

and again.

you kinda freaked out so you get up from your bed and slowly walk to your window.

again.

“oh my god” you gasped once you approached the window, then you opened. “are you insane, rafe?” you looked down.

“are you gonna let me in or..?”

“it’s past midnight, rafe!” you moved from your window so he could climb.

he entered your room with a small smile on his face. suddenly you realize that something was wrong.

“what’s on your face?” you got closer to him.

“what? nothing.” he pulled away.

you frowned and you walked to turn on the light in your room, you turned around to look at him.

“oh god, rafe!” you gasped once you watched his face with a cut in his eyebrow and his cheek with a bruise. “what the hell happened to you?”

“it’s nothing, i’m alright.” he sat on your bed.

“rafe, you’re bleeding.” you said in a serious tone.

he touched his eyebrow, looking down at his hand to see his fingers had the tiniest bit of blood on them. “oh...is it really?"

“what is wrong with you?” you frowned.

he rolled his eyes. “nothing is wrong with me...I'm fine. I just got into a fight, you don't have to act like it's a huge deal."

“of course, rafe.” you rolled your eyes and walked to your bathroom, trying to find your medicine kit.

“hey, i’m alright, i can handle it.”

you didn't say anything, you just sighed and kept looking through your things.

“you don’t have to worry, alright? i’ll be fine, i didn’t come here for you to patch me up like a damn puppy.”

“rafe?” you called him out.

“yeah..?” he lifted up his eyebrows.

“shut up.”

he was a bit caught off guard by your sudden tone, but he shut up and went silent like you told him to, not without a sigh and rolling his eyes of course.

in silence, you walked to your bed with everything you needed then you sit in his lap for more access to his face.

his eyes widened as you sat on his lap, his heart rate increasing a bit from being so close to you.

“it’s nothing necessary, i swear-“ he was interrupted by the burning of the alcohol in his eyebrow. “oh, fuck-“ he flinches a bit and winces from the pain of the alcohol on his wound, instinctively putting a hand on your waist as you do so.

“i’m sorry.” you said sadly.

he looked up at you as you apologized, his hand gently gripping your side “it's fine.. just hurts a little, that's all.."

“well, it wouldn’t if you didn’t get into a fight.” you threatened him.

he huffed and looked down, knowing there was no denying that. "it's not like I can help it whenever some guy decides to run his fucking mouth, it's not my fault I act on impulse.."

“it is your fault, rafe.”

“well he shouldn’t have started it.”

you rolled your eyes. “it doesn’t matter, you don’t follow their stupid behavior.”

he looked to other side, pretending he didn’t hear you.

“it doesn’t matter what someone decides to say or do, you’re better than that.” you looked at him. “rafe, baby, i don’t want you to get hurt.”

“i know.” he looked down.

“hey, just promise me you won’t get.. you know.. physical.”

“alright.” he agreed with a small side smile.

you finished curing him, you took his face and gave him a little kiss on his cheek.

“was that supposed to be a reward for me agreeing or something..?" a hint of a smile at his lips.

you giggled at his comment. “no, i just felt like it.”

he smiled a bit at your giggle, he always liked the sound of that. he tilted his head, looking at you for a moment before speaking. “you can always feel free to kiss more than my cheek, y'know.”

“i know.” you giggled again and hide in his neck, cuddling in his lap.

his arms wrapping around you and his chin resting gently on top of your head. his hands gently traced over your back as he spoke again, a calm and quiet tone to his voice now. “someone's awfully clingy today.."

you stepped back moving away from his neck, still wrapping your hands around his neck. “oh, I'm sorry to bother you.” you rolled your eyes.

“i never said it was bothering me, I actually don't mind how close you're being right now" he pulled your hips a bit closer to him, now flush against him.

“hey.. don’t do that.” you jumped a little because of the sudden proximity.

“why not?” he pulled your hips closer again, more firmly this time.

“my parents are home.” you pout.

“oh, right, your parents are home, what a shame.” he said with a sarcastic tone.

“rafe, i mean it.” you smiled.

“i know.” he chuckled faintly, clearly enjoying this, he acted as if he was going to loosen his grip, but instead, he pulled your hips against him more, bringing you right up against his chest before speaking again. “but you still haven't actually stopped me, y'know"

you giggled. “i know.”

he moved his hands up from your hips to your waist, his hands resting there now. “good, so I don't have to stop, right?"

you sigh at the feeling of your hips together. “i don’t know, babe.”

he took note of how you seemed to relax slightly as you were against him, his hands on your waist rubbing gently over your skin now. his tone low as he spoke. “you know, we can still be quiet, right?”

“if my parents know that you’re here they’re gonna kill me.”

he pulled your hair away from your neck to have more access to it. “maybe you just have to keep quiet then, huh? think you can be quiet for me?” he kissed your neck.

“i’ll try.”

he smirked and started sucking softly on a spot of your neck, his hands gently rubbing down your waist and sides in a slow, soft motion.

he pulled your hips flush with his again, now having you pretty much straddling him, his hips gently rolling as he continued sucking on your neck.

“could you touch me?” you sighed.

he continued sucking on your neck for a few more seconds before slowly pulling back, his lips now hovering by your ear as he spoke in a low tone, his hands still rubbing at your sides. “touch you where, baby?"

“rafe, baby, come on.” you said frustrated.

he chuckled again faintly, enjoying how desperate you were getting. he kept his face by your ear, his hands still rubbing you gently, his voice still low and cocky as he spoke. “mmm, you need to use your words, baby... I need to know exactly what you want me to touch"

“you know where..” you were cut off by a knock on your door.

he chuckled again as you spoke before the sharp knock at the door startled both of you. He paused his hands for a minute, a silent dread of being caught hitting him as he whispered low to you. “fuck, that better not be your parents."

“who else would it be, rafe?” you frown at him.

“yeah okay, my bad” he rolled his eyes. “what do i do?”

“sshh” you silent him, the door knocked again. “hey baby are you alright?” your mom said.

both of your eyes widened as you heard your mother's voice.

“oh- yes, mom!”

"Are you sure you’re alright sweetie, I heard some noises.. What are you doing in there?"

“i’m- watching a movie.”

"Honey, you sure you’re okay… Why can’t I come in?” your mom was trying to open the door.

“oh my god, oh my god, rafe! get under the bed, now!” your were about to lose your mind.

he sighed, knowing he had no other choice here and there was nowhere else to hide. he gently pushed you off of him, crawling to the side of the bed, trying to duck under there. “okay, okay, i’m going, i’m going..”

“i’m sorry mom! im coming!” you stand up and open the door. “sooo, what’s wrong, mom?” you smile softly trying to keep calm.

your mom responded, her tone still suspicious sounding. “you were so reluctant to let me in before, it sounded like you were doing something you didn’t want me to see."

“pfff come on, mom! what would i be doing?”

“i’m gonna check your room, okay? let me in.”

“do you really think is necessary? come on.” you heard your dad calling from their room. “see mom? even dad wants you there! go to bed, i promise you im fine”

your mom let out a soft sigh, clearly not wanting to stop her search, but being called by your father.

“alright, alright, fine… I’ll call it a night, sweetie, but, I want no funny business in here, alright?”

your laughed. “alright mom, night!” you sighed and locked your door.

he heard the footsteps fade down the hall and the soft click of the door closing. he let out a soft sigh of relief, crawling back out from underneath the bed, stretching and standing up straight again.

“oh my god, rafe.” you left out air with a laugh.

he chuckled as she breathed out, finding it amusing how close a call that just was. “that was a close one, baby, but you were convincing, I’ll give you that..”

“oh god, i almost passed out.” you collapsed in your bed.

you laughed and sit in your bed. “baby, you gotta go.”

he laughed at your response, knowing he should leave right now. “alright, I should probably go before I get caught leaving… but you looked so damn cute tonight…”

you get up from your bed and wrapped your arms around his neck. “i love you.”

he smiled, wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you closer to him, his tone soft as he spoke. “i love you too, baby… I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

“alright, be safe.” you gave him a kiss.

he chuckled faintly, kissing you back. “i will, baby… you get some sleep, alright? You seem pretty worn out..”

“okay, rafe, get ooout!” you laughed.

“alright, I’m going, I’m going..” he slowly untangled himself from your arms, giving you one last quick kiss on your lips before heading to the window.

you smiled after he left, and you let yourself fall into your bed with a sigh.

[pompadorbz]

I've started cooking up an au for hardcore!phil where instead of getting rescued by Kristin after his first flight he instead gets "rescued" by the ender king, who teleported him into the end kinda by mistake. This was the design for him i was gonna use but since this is technically for an au of this au i might make a more concrete one. More about this under the cut since i'm very normal about it.

This is kinda set in a version of hardcore where Enderpookie um! won. The end was never flooded, he slowly took more and more and became more and more powerful until he was able to take control of the other deities (all except kristin but that's a whole nother can of worms) as a means to survey the other realms and determine what to put his focus on and take over to the end.

But at this point, he's managed to collect so much from the other worlds despite their endless size (i imagine it being a wasteland not too dissimilar to 2b2t aesthetically, at least in the way where spawn is desolate but the further out you go the more life you see return to the land), that he's kinda grown bored of the same old resources. He wants something new to claim as his own!

He begins experimenting with focusing his power to other multiverses (called servers since i like getting meta-contextual to an extent but in the way that the end poem is meta-contextual) due to having become powerful enough, and it's through his first attempt that he teleports hc!phil into the end by complete accident, right as he's doing his leap of faith.

I'm still kinda fuzzy on this part so bear with me but basically after some back and forth Phil and Ender king make a deal. Ender King will give Phil the wings he's always wanted in exchange for Phil being used as an accomplice for petty theft, essentially. Ender King can teleport stuff to him but he can also do the opposite, so he starts teleporting Phil to other servers so that Pookie can do his usual surveillance thing like he does with the other deities, decide where to concentrate his power, and then steal from those worlds and back into hardcore.

he also allows Phil to "return" to hardcore through his dreams but in my mind its in a much more foggy and- for a lack of a better word "dreamlike" state and Ender king can do the same. He does it by possessing Phil outright, or appearing as either a headless crow thing or a secret other thing that I'm yet to design but I am very insane about, depending on the context. Just know that the crow is what manifests when he's trying to coerce Phil through being "friendly".

anyway I will. probably talk more about this once i have more art of it/if people ask nicely which please do stick your hands in the bars of my enclosure i promise you i am very sane and nromal

[jahanmp4]

Jericho : "Sir Marius, I mean this in the most respectful and polite way possible, but you already got one curse. Perhaps... Let us... Bear some curses so you don't have to, that's the point of friends !"

Marius, yelling : " I CAN BEAR MORE !"

Jericho "Why don't... you let your friends shoulder a little bit of your burden ? Let the world do its own spin !"

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

[wizardnuke]

um personally i think that if your girlfriend is insecure over you being friends with another girl you should run far away really fast. but i may be misreading the situation. i don't think i am though.

[hella1975]

we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡

[tovarishch-dyke]

I’m like Johnny Truant in the tags of every goddamn post I make or reblog on this site and I’m not apologizing. If you want me to apologize come over to my house and you can talk to the minotaur about it

[goodstuffexe]

Guys Secret Life is just Life Series insanity mode I love it so much damn

Like the twirls and mingles and how ppl are forming ally ships just for one session because of their tasks DAMN makes SO GOOD ENTERTAINMENT so fun omg I cannot put it in words

And the fucking BEST PART is that I watch like 3 episodes a week and I have SO MUCH STUFF FOR THE COMING WEEKS AND MONTHS TO CHEW ON!!! Like whaat the heck I still don't know what's the deal with BigB most of the times I've seen him interact with ppl and and and I have to watch the 3 dudes who died now cause they died but then I probably miss the whole thing that happend with the heart foundation this session or what happend to Cleo if she did manage to find out what task she has and what the reds where up to the last 2 sessions omg and and SO MUCH STUFF SO MUCH INTERACTION AND REN WAS THERE omgg I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT ANYONE'S TASKS WHERE AND I WANNA KNOW ALL OF THEM BUT I CAN ONLY WATCH SO MANY PPL HUH

Holy hell they rly thought 'Hey guys how do we make this thing even better maybe Limited Life was falling a bit too short in some ways' and THEY DELIVERED SO HARD with Secret Life omg and cracked it up to 200 it is SO amusing to watch, I cannot stop myself from writing in caps, I can't stop laughing at those doofuses playing Minecraft, it's so entertaining I love everyone involved in this series and I love them more the more episodes I watch it is incredible and it makes me so happy :')

THANK YOU GRIAN MY BELOVED FOR BEING A CREATIVE MIND AND BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER SORRY FOR SO MUCH CAPS I CAN'T HOLD IT IN

I actually wanna draw fanart so bad but I have literally no clue how to draw anything homeboys and girls making me want to be an artist so bad

[nightmarearian]

the pokemon manga is the timeline where everyone is a bit more insane send post

[hauntingblue]

LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!

[bluesidedown]

hnggghhggg

[forthegamesmyguy]

y'all seriously overestimating just how much solavellan will even matter. you know the romance in DAI was a single cutscene right? where he dumps you lol. comparatively the least content by far. and this game isn't about the inquisitor. yes it's about Solas but he may or may not have this relationship with last game's player character so, it isn't going to be given center stage. I get being annoyed with the obnoxious chronically fandom-pilled online teenagers and Disney adults, but they do this bullshit in every single space they take up. just ignore them and the rage inducing algorithms of modern social media

instead of being pissed off that one of only two vital choices is whether the Inquisitor said to redeem or stop Solas, how about be pissed off that that decision presumably is what is going to colour your Inquisitor's personality, which now I am left to assume is one of two (.5 for romanced) people, the "redeem" version being you talk soberly about Solas and say shit like "I feel responsible for him... I wish I could convince him to change his mind... He is a good person doing bad things... So sad..." and the "stop" version being you talk aggressively about Solas and say shit like "I feel slighted by him... I wish I had never allowed him access to such resources... He is a bad person doing bad things... So callous..." Like can we instead please be angry that they don't care about respecting the individuality of our different game experiences? This is not about Solas. And this is not about solavellan. It's about apparently the only thing mattering being a check in the box, when the actual experience of this *role playing game* is not universal. Not every inquisitor is going to feel about or respond to Solas in the same ways, even within the confines of solavellan, even within "stop" or "redeem". Like, I have lavellans that romanced him and would treat him kindly, I have some that would treat him bitterly, some that would treat him angrily, some that forgive and some that are furious. Do I get to experience these different possibilities? Apparently not. And it has nothing to do with solavellan. That being a part of the story is not the reason they've limited the flavours here to either one or the other. We shitting on Solas/solavellan now just bc of the most obnoxious voices you could possibly imagine? Ok cool

[halfdeadwallfly]

genuinely every post i see about taylor swift on here [or anywhere if we're being honest] is such a mind numbing train wreck to observe. like somehow we can't just be normal and it's baffling if i'm being honest

[moongothic]

I want to preface this by saying that this is meant to be kind of a shitpost. I just. The thought passed my mind. I laughed at it. Thought about it again, laughed some more and I just had to get it out of my system. So here we are

So when I read the myth of Toyotama Hime I did start to wonder if it could be used as fuel for the Crocodad Fire, the myth being about Toyotama coming from Ryuugyuu Castle to give birth on land etc. And in One Piece, we do have that very castle on Fishman Island. Which isn't surprising or anything, Oda getting inspo/names from various mythologies is nothing new by a long shot, and it's unlikely you could somehow tie Crocodile to Fishman Island through that myth. Like Toyotama coming "from the ocean" could just be turned into "Crocodile coming from the sea as a pirate", doesn't have to be deeper than that

But then I thought

...Do we actually know Crocodile isn't part-merman

Like. You see--

We know half-merfolk-half-humans do keep their fishtails like full-merfolk (see Charlotte Praline), and we know that while mermaids split their tails after 30, mermen never do. So between that and us having The Most Scandalous Feet Pics of Sir Crocodile (from the jailbreak cover story), well, we know he has basic ass human feet, so we know for certain he can't be half-merman

But also

Chimney is 1/4th mermaid. The only mermaid features she inherited from her grandmother were her hair color and her being a "good swimmer". Chimney is part-mermaid, and she has human feet

Like the only thing that could debunk this idea (based on what we know about Chimney) would be if Crocodile was a shit swimmer, but he's a Devil Fruit user so of course he can't fucking swim. So we have literally nothing to prove or debunk the idea.

So like

You've heard of "Crocodile is Whitebeard's bio-son" You've heard of "Crocodile is the missing Kuja Empress" You've even heard of "Crocodile is Xebec's son".

So how about

"Crocodile is 1/4th merman"

Why the fuck not

But the funny thing is

Not only would it weirdly explain why the fuck our beloved Sand Man Who Can't Fucking Swim is named after an animal known for swimming (like OP has weird fucking names, see; Smoker, Baby 5, Monkey D. Dragon, etc. What bugs me about Crocodile is the slightly contradictatory theming, but if he was named "Crocodile" by his merfolk parents, suddenly, it kind of works)

But also like. We know Crocodile fucking Hates the Government. And to be fair, there's plenty of reasons for anyone to hate the World Government, you don't need a personal grudge to hate them.

But if he had merfolk parents (who might be stuck living on the surface because they wouldn't have been able to get their child to Fishman Island without someone essentially delivering him there, 'cause he wouldn't have been able to just SWIM there), then there's a genuinely possibility said parent(s) could've ended up getting caught and turned into slaves. And boy would that give someone A Personal Fucking Grudge Against The Government

But also, due to the in-universe discrimination against merfolk, if Crocodile was part-merman it could mean he could've been harassed for it since a young age, or worse yet, could've become a target for slavers if anybody found out. And somehow, having to hide that part about his heritage would work really well into his trust issues

Not to mention, after escaping Impel Down, Croc and Jinbei have this brief convo (that turns racist) where Croc expresses his surprise over Jinbei being able to summon fish, having thought only merfolk could do that. Of course, Croc being a seasoned pirate and all you could totally expect him to like know about mermaid legends etc, but him having no knowledge about Fishmen is a bit odd. Especially because we know he's been to the New World, so you'd think he must've gone to Fishman Island at least once before? Although, his former Shichibukai Rights probably would've allowed him to cross over the Red Line through Marijois instead of having to pass through Fishman Island, but regardless, it's odd, is it not? But if Crocodile did have merfolk parents whom he got separated from at a young age?? Maybe he learned a thing or two about that side of his family, but never enough?? And then having to hide that side of his heritage could've left him just estranged????

Also IDK if it's worth anything but in the cover stories, we were introduced to our first mermaid Camie at the tail end of Alabasta, while the Miss Goldenweek coverstory ran during Water 7 where we meet Kokoro and Chimney. IDK it's a funny coincidence

I just

Could you fucking imagine

How fucking insane would that be, if Crocodile was part-merman