#i am so frustrated with this but that is ok even tho i still dont like how it looks :((

[sydmarch]

it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy

[prosciuttoon]

Toshiro/Shuro is overhated

(mirror of my thread on twitter)

ever wanted to talk abt something so bad but u have so many thoughts so u cant even begin to organize a sentence. thats me abt shuro and its why i cant give my thoughts on him. i NEED to get this out of my system bc its takign up so much memory in my brain i need that space for thinking.

so i was really surprised to find so much hate for him even tho he seems pretty normal and rational out of the whole cast. ive deducted that its mostly abt his laios fight and that the ppl who hate him probably had bad experiences w social cues and relationships w neurotypicals bc of that. theres no way to avoid it bc its pretty much Right In Your Face that laios is ND. but thats not the only factor in why their relationship is rocky. its also the culture barrier. u have to understand toshiro was raised as JAPANESE NOBILITY ofc he would be a little conservative

also culture shock. idk if u know this but jp culture is very Mind Your Own Business like a lot of other asian cultures . ofc hes gonna be weirded out by a stranger invading his space. also his names not even Shuro. its just yt ppl not pronouncing his name right and settling for whats easiest.

img src: fan translation by savaralyn2 , i think its from the adventurers bible Complete Edition bc i dont remember it in the old one

ok you get the gist of the culture aspect of it. lets go into the ND/NT clash aspect of it. yes i understand its pretty hurtful to never be told when youre acting inappropriately. i am autistic too lmao. but you have to understand that shiro is one guy and he even does realize that repressing things is one of his fatal flaws. again. asian culture. non confrontational. that sorta thing. but these are genuine frustrations. if i were him id be annoyed too but id speak out about it. set boundaries. bc im blunt. shiros not. he was taught crazy strict manners (hierarchies, respect, politeness, etc).

his problem isnt ableism its a culmination of culture barriers, how he was raised to behave, and terrible lack of communication as thing caused by "all of the above" plus he just generally keeps to himself a lot which means repressing frustrations that will explode leading to a pathetic fistfight while hes starved, exhausted, and dehydrated. also. if he was ableist he would hate laios. he doesnt hate laios. at the end of the day, they are friends. NT and ND ppl can be friends u know. there will be rifts (like their fight) but you just have to communicate misunderstandings. theyre gonna be fine lol

anyways that was my whole spiel abt it. i think i got everything out that i wanted to? my head still feels a little full so i may add more later when i remember something

also i think its a little unfair to rule out the possibility of laios and him just being 2 very different kinds of ND bc its very common for misunderstandings to occur even then. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT BUT WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! but for the sake of interpreting the Fight as a commentary on NT social rules and ND frustration, ill say toshiros NT. will we ever know? hes so far in the sidelines... youd really have to dig in the extra content to see the intricacies of his character.... please give him a chance

[valleygirlmukuroikusaba]

ok after a long convo from the other day.. i have decided to open my heart to nagito and hajime i need to contribute my own commentary and documentation I BELIEVE IN MYSELF.

BC LIKE i wish i was around to see the komahina saga go down in real time

but alas i can be a smaller scale. komahina saga of myself

ive never actually not have talked to any current komahina super-truthers as in ppl who've actually been rotating the two as their main focus and not like passively enjoying the ship in the main online space ive been getting most of my danganronpa talks in

so ultimately i have to invent my own reasons to like them and you know what this will b fun to try my hand at

OK so both nagito and hajime r very persistent so even tho they keep like clashing with their flaws which ofc amplifies tensions but they do need to reach like . some fucking compromise right?

maybe like after they exhaust the shit out of each other after fighting bunch and letting loose frustration and then they like also persist trying to accompany each other when they've got no more juice to beat eachother up idfk

tho idk is this like. normal couple behavior. idk i am sick of having to fight ppl irl so like i dont relate but im gonna try to understand. my persistence to understand.... yes komahina is about. persistence. persistencemaxxing

but like nagito's very analytical and also doing things on his own is like nourishment for him right? he does those like puzzle solving stuff he solve the riddle he speaks in riddles thats kinda funny

hajime's kinda apathetic to the bullshit around him tho. he does not give a shit abt how ppl are affected by the trials hes just like. oh this shit again. ok this might as well happen

OH I GUESS THEY BOTH JUST PUT UP WITH A WHOLE LOT OF BULLSHIT IN THEIR LIVES they can bond over that they can empathize that damn life may suck BUT STAY PERSISTENT. THEY WILL LEARN TO GROW and still nagito still attempts at socializing and randos just go up to hajime for shit knows what so when hajime and nagito aren't trying to beat up each other they try to deal with ppl . this is the compromise they both can work towards

ill try to flesh them out a bit more later but like i do plan to put it in my weird commentary personalized au thats mostly just about mukuro ikusaba but in that au hajime and nagito r on opposing branches and working with diff teams so like maybe when they aren't dealing with each of their main goals they can like idk hang out together in free time. be free my creatures play nice...

or dont idk

most of my memory of hajime and nagito's dynamic in sdr2 blind play through this january is when they've been really mean to each other and i was like uhhhhhgfjd THESE MFS NEED TO CHILL OUT.(theyre sdr2 characters theyre legally not allowed to chill out)

[cleromancy]

while from the doylist perspective the stories are specifically propping tim up compared to jason by doing this... i am obviously still very interested in, and compelled by, jason canonically having a pretty high opinion of tim going all the way back to their first meeting.

(for the record, absolutely nothing in-universe justifies jason having this opinion of tim up until tim springs him from prison imo. he beat the snot out of tim in tt29 and it wasn't even hard and yet for some fucking reason he still walks away thinking tim is a Better Robin than he was? like... ok. sure. more thoughts on this later in the post tho)

so the new earth (post-crisis pre-reboot) continuity tim-jason interactions we have, in order, are batman 617-618 (from batman: hush, this ones a retcon and barely counts, its just jason holding tim hostage with a batarang to his throat; and you might also get a glimpse of jay doing this in batman annual 25 lol but its in the other room so im not checking), tt29 (published in the middle of uth coming out, lol), tt47 (countdown tie-in), robin 177 and 182-183 (post-countdown, immediately after jason dumps his red robin costume and one of tims rogues fishes it out of the dumpster to wear, correctly intuiting *for some reason* that this will get to tim), and......... sigh. stupid battle for the stupid cowl.

(and, since were talking about jasons perspective, theres also the picture wall in lost days. i dont know what issue it is because to me lost days is not "made up" of "issues", it is one book i simply open to devour whole whilst weeping.)

i think tt 29 is the interaction i find the most frustrating because... we have an idea what tt29 would have been like if it were good. bc we have ga01 69-72. and granted Tim is such a cocky little shit (affectionate) that jason simply. Would probably not have been able to scare him no matter what, lol... but imagine if this fucking issue had been good.

ok cutting 4 length

the problem with johns. .......the FIRST problem with johns. is that he regularly has interesting ideas and his execution of them completely falls flat. the second problem with johns is that he can't write dialogue. the third problem with johns is that it was really really important to him that you understood what a Talented And Special Boy tim is but instead of showing you that he just forced other characters to. tell you. over and over. jason is not johns' only victim in this quest. (and johns was also not the only perpetrator, as we will see when i get to fuckin fabnic.)

but like i said i *am* actually interested in the potential here, because i do think there is potential.

and i also think that--at least when you read into it as deeply as i do--jason is sympathetic in this issue. (don't give me "hes beating up a child" crap here btw. jason's only 2-3 years older, tims a peer to him, they could easily have gone to high school together if jason hadnt fuckin died.) johns deliberately shows us Jason hoping raven gets a reprieve from the nightmares, and he certainly was *trying* to show us how much it would fucking suck to be remembered as the Bad Robin, forgotten except to be a cautionary tale, what kind of things that would do to a person emotionally. AND he makes a point of highlighting Jason's loneliness and isolation as robin, and. tbh i dont think the issue itself rly blames Jason for that. (you most certainly do not gotta hand it to him though. under no circumstances do you gotta hand it to johns for anything.)

and while jason tearing off his clothes to reveal his party city knockoff robin costume--the better to beat you with, my dear--was, erm. falling mostly on the wrong side of the line btwn camp and cringe... i do think jason writing his own name in blood on the wall was right on the money, *especially* because it was obviously not tims blood. like, tim wasnt bleeding anywhere near enough for that. it was either fake blood or jason prepped his own beforehand for them to DNA test--but also if they saw it before they saw tim, to make them fear for tims life, as a reminder of the risks theyre dealing with here.

oh but i was planning on talking specifically about like. what Jason might actually have seen in tim that left him with a positive impression. as-written? kinda nothing. lmao. or well the one thing imo is this

just kidding i couldn't find the panelz somehow despite posting them literally like yesterday and i ran into this lol:

>:| got distracted again. by this.

anyway i give up ill add the pics later. but its the exchange where jason has *decisively* won the fight, tims crumpled on the floor concussed and winded, and jason demands if tim *really* thinks he was good enough to tail bruce unnoticed for weeks.

and tim says "yes." hes beat up enough he can barely talk but there's still no hesitation whatsoever. and jason is *really* down on himself in this issue--he calls himself a failure, he feels like no one cared about his death, he feels unremembered. and jasons stated intentions here were to get the measure of tim but i also stand by the interpretation that he wanted to warn tim off of the sidekick gig, to remind him you uh. you have to be dick fucking grayson to survive it. (i dont believe either of them mentions him by name, but hey, dicks shadow is big enough for the both of them.)

i think what jason finds worthy of respect here--and, on top of that, intriguing enough that in robin 177 he entreats tim to join him--is the confidence, and also? at absolutely no point does tim believe jason is there to kill him. not a fuckin high bar, i know, but like i said i do think jason had *planned* to try and scare tim off (just also mega derailed himself by accident bc he got too in his feelings about the statue room 🥺), and... its not a bar he would have expected Tim to clear, is all im saying. particularly because while it is *possible* this took place in the middle of uth (tt 29 was released in november 05, between batman 646 and 647, which is the part where slade shows up bc black mask hired him to take jason out, so tt29 couldnt have happened in the middle of those two specific issues, but there are several other points at which jason could have taken a break in menacing gotham to fly to san Francisco), with Jason talking so negatively about himself i have to assume this is after the end of uth.

(you might be able to place this in the in-universe chronology by if/when teen titans mentions chemo dropping on bludhaven, which happens immediately before the bruce-jason-joker final showdown. however i dont feel like poking around for that or any other details to anchor tt29 to the other events happening at the time rn.)

i just also think so much of what jasons doing in this issue is like--he doesn't know *what* hes there to do. he had a plan and hes kinda fumbling it, not because tim is being especially resourceful but because jasons still licking his emotional wounds from uth, and titans tower is bringing up ones i dont think he ever realized hadnt healed. hes feeling everything at once. hes angry and hurt and full of self loathing but i think by the time tim simply says "yes," jason hits the stage of just being... burnt out. done lashing out, fucking tired, just wants to go home, if he can ever find it.

but i do think that "yes" would stick in his craw for a long time afterwards.

tt47: tim kicks jason in the nuts and pretty much declares them even for tt29 lolol. you may have seen my post about how jason only *sometimes* wears armor in countdown--hes drawn in the armored turtleneck and tac pants in tt47, but there are times in countdown hes out there fighting aliens and metas and shit in his jacket, a *t-shirt,* and *jeans.* just a squishy regular degular baseline human doing this and no one ever brings it up. but anyway. do i think tim would have seen jason wearing the equivalent of civvies plus a domino mask, narrow in on that, and immediately decide to kick him in the balls? i sure do. do i also think that this would make him rise in jasons estimation?

yeah. yeah, i really do. lol

anyway after this! after this is jasons briefish world-hopping stint as red robin saving the universe being a big damn hero and getting paid dust by everyone around him, in countdown; i think i mentioned before in this post that at the end he abandons the red robin suit in a dumpster, where it gets picked up by one of tims rogues. this storyline sucks and fabnic is a hack unfortunately. the rogue did it bc he wants tims attention or whatever. not important except for how irritating it is that fabnic fumbled a concept this juicy (tim inheriting and eventually purposely adopting The Bad Robin Mantle) which is also further fumbled by stupid battle for the stupid cowl, and the people who it falls to to salvage it are. johns again, in adventure comics 3, and yost, who is a better writer than johns or fabnic but not by like a huge margin.

and while i do think tim having a bad opinion of jason at this point was inevitable i find it so frustrating the way it was executed... like so often with Bad Tim Writing and also fuckin DC Editorial's Jason Slander Agenda shit it wasn't because in-universe thats how the characters would feel, the writer was using tim as a mouthpiece, and jasons competence and things he cares about arent taken seriously... BUT WHATEVER the point is that when Tim goes to stop Jason from his villainous scheme to reduce crime or whatevr jason has such a high opinion of him that he asks tim to join him:

and jasons loneliness, his desperation to be heard, is such a theme for him in the new earth/post crisis era and i wish it had been. Handled better lol are you noticig a theme here its that Jason has been written badly. (tim too, tbh.) and when tim says no jasons dejected but unsurprised acceptance breaks my heart. but to me the most interesting part of jasons appearance at the end of tims robin series is in 182, when tim--for absolutely no good reason--gives jason the means to break out of prison.

he says something about how its what Bruce would have wanted, but for. reasons i wont get too deeply into rn, that absolutely does not hold water.

anyway i just think there's no way jason doesn't start crushing on tim at least a little at this point. shrug.

bftc sucks and i dont want to look at it rn. but its also got examples of jasons high opinion of tim. and also im mad at it bc both countdown AND his appearances in robin feel like they could have been taking jason to a like. more of an antihero type of role and then we get bftc and morrison and its kind of. fucking hard to get jason anywhere near back on track after that for those of us who still like playibg in the post-crisis pre-reboot sandbox. and i wouldnt be mad about that if bftc had been good bc Jason absolutely does make an incredibly interesting and effective and tragic antagonist when handled well but well. he wasnt. and i have no idea what bftc would.have even been like if it was good bc it was so off the wall and dumb and assassinated actually *everyones* characters. so.

anyway

im just going to roll back to robin 183 now

jasons referring to the damage tim got when he got a little bit exploded in 180, this pretty nasty burn on the back of his head, which was actually why he wore jasons RR cowl for the first time (he was still robin). but what you do see here--aside from Tims narration which puts him *firmly* on the side of obnoxiously arrogant and judgmental instead of charmingly cocky in this issue, to my estimation, thanks for nothing fabnic--is the two of them on firmly cordial terms. jason still thinks more highly than tim does of him, but theyre asking each other about their injuries... tim caring about the wellbeing of people he doesn't even like is par for the course with him, ofc, but once again Jason doesn't really get that a whole lot. constantly haunted by this panel from countdown btw:

does he though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here is another jaytim preboot canon interactions post from a few months ago with some more thoughts, some repeated lol.

anyway. incoherent rambling complete for now. however. jaytim time is all the time 👍 i will revisit this.

[sleepy-vix]

ok guys i finished the poppy war wtf. i feel so hollow right now. i feel so... unsatisfied by the ending but not necessary in a bad way??? i have to read the other books and see what happens but at the same time it feels so hopeless and i dont approve of rin as a main character anymore (tho i am aware that it doesnt matter whether i "approve" of her or not) but i will still definitely read the other books bc i loved the book overall. i just think that the storyline rn is very... surreal?

also,

(spoilers below)

i NEED TO KNOW what the fuck happened to nezha bc i just know that rf kuang has smtg cooking for him. my personal theory is that he didnt die from the gas bc he secretly is connected to the god of healing (hence why his spine healed so fast and enki speculated abt his dragon insigna) and so hes alive and maybe imprisoned? maybe he was sent to a science lab to, or he somehow ran away, or he pretended to join forces?? idrk but im sure that hes alive and its got to do with his dragon insignia

im so sad that everybody from sineguard died/isnt in the story anymore (other than kitayyyyyy thank god. im so glad he reappeared) bc i tbh dont feel much of an attachment toward the cike members 😭 like idk i love Qara and Chaghan but the others are eh to me, like i would trade their presence for Irjah's or Raban or Niang or EVEN JUN 😭 tho im just being sentimental, i dont actually mean it. (tho i would like to see a jun reappearance and redemption...)

oh btw i think i rate this a 4/5 star read

my criticisms are as such:

- the middle part where they kept losing was very dreary (tho i imagine kuang was trying to make it seem desperate/devastating and tense, it was just droll to read tbh).

- the sudden reconciliation between nezha and rin felt very unnatural (like i understand the feeling of "who cares abt our petty rivalry when theres literally a whole ass war happening?" but then again, this is just fiction and it wouldve been nice to read their familiar banter- or at least have it dragged out a bit before the reconciliation). i feel like it was just very unnatural, unless.... unless nezha fell in love with Rin when she erupted into flames at sineguard???? if THAT happened then i feel like the reconciliation would make alot more sense bc when nezha came to khurdalain it was like he was desperate to make Rin like him/forgive him ???

- a few things were pretty predictable. it was pretty obvious that Jiang was the gatekeeper, which was disappointing because if that was a little less obvious, i feel like the scene were Rin and Altam discover Jiang in the Stone Mountain would've had a bigger emotional impact on the reader (me)

though here are the things i liked:

- Rin at the first half of the book was the best mc everrrr

- Kitay. i have nothing wrong with Kitay. he's my favourite for sure

- Jiang's style of teaching (i loved how they just conversed and would come to nonsensical philosphical questions that made Rin frustrated but made Jiang delighted. eg "Why do people dream what they dream?")

- the way Kuang described the god realm vs the human realm. it was all very believable and assured. it wasn't vague at all, in my opinion. theres ofc alot of questions abt the different planes still, but the genius of it is that she wrote about it in a way that assured that it was normal to have questions, and even more normal to not get answers for them, and that we should just accept it (idk, thats the vibe i was getting. like, she didnt say "just believe it" as an excuse for lazy writing, she said "just believe it" because, well, just believe it.)

ok yeah thats all i have to say for now :)

if you've read the poppy war, PLEASEEE INTERACT (no spoilers tho pls)

[randomwriteronline]

frustrated abt brain not managing to write onewa getting laid. have at ye some brainstorming on the matter. as a curse

first of all why is Onewa specifically the one getting dicked down? because i say so. i wrote him getting pampered by all his teammates once (to shut him the fuck up) and now i want them to rock his world into next tuesday. something about him compels me. his bastard charms and attitude have bewitched me. so im unleashing the rest of the turaga upon him

second. communication game? pristine. top shelf. impeccable. these six have a whole system of little nudges and hints and stuff for "id like a bit of bangin if you would be keen on indulging me" and theyre never pushing at a refusal. these messages can be relayed anywhere from two weeks to five minutes before anything is in place and if the answers a no then its thumbs up and no problem. the matoran are none the wiser. not even Matoro. my boy can know all the secrets of the toa metru and shit but hes peacefully oblivious to the mindblowing Onewa Boning thats been going on behind the entire islands back for a thousand years. as he should be.

also im a sappy shit so theyre all sweet during intercourse bc it makes me :) and also because i need that stone bastard torn asunder by tenderness

now youd think mr hordika urges Matau would jump to the sex immediately given the chance and youd be dead wrong. bc first and foremost hes a romantic. hes gonna bone him to hell and back but to do that, he has to put in The Effort. must he? not really, but he wants to and it makes him feel happy n proud of himself. so hes nestmaking a new nest every time, and each one is the best nest hes ever nestmade bc hes always improving, and hes composing a lil treespeak song songsinging his lovers praises to hushwhisper in his ear while laying down on top of him, and after the first verse hes mumbling about how the next one should be accompanied by a slowdance if you catch my drift, and Onewa is fucking slurping it all up. he loves this. he can understand maybe a quarter of the whole thing bc the pronunciation is super strict but he can hear the intention and his ego is getting stroked. why thank you yes i AM the best. keep flattering me. oh a slowdance? well dont mind if i do...

Nokama on the other hand will pull him over, feel him up very gently until hes melted into a puddle, and then nudge his face into the pillow and dick him down so good he has to fight not to start screaming bc the entire ga-koro population is ASLEEP RN and he doesnt need them to be nosy abt this. she loves how he tries to buy time and fails miserably. shes speedrunning the foreplay for fun. see how fast she can turn him into a flustered mess. her all-time record was three seconds and a half but that was bc shed sent him a letter detailing how she was going to wreck him half a day in advance and when they actually got alone time he was still going insane about it so it doesnt really count even tho she insists it does

now you know hate-sex. ok. imagine that concept but less intense. like annoyance-sex. or mild inconvenience-sex. or "aw fuck, i cant believe youve done this"-sex. or that glare that you get after you say a stupid pun-sex. thats what Nuju and Onewa have. they NEED to do some light arguing before it bc thats half the fun!! usually Onewa bothers Nuju with something small and silly and Nuju then stands up and paces around very slightly angry for a moment or two before smoothly sliding back to him and pinning him somewhere he can bend over on. Onewa fakes the weakest struggle possible and tells him he sucks at a host bc he doesnt even take him somewhere comfortable for this smh, and then as soon as he gets very gently pushed forward he splays himself down all wiggly with excitement. its very cute and also satisfying to see the resident contrarian like that. plus Nuju knows this low quiet coo that makes Onewa shiver really hard bc he likes it a lot and you KNOW hes teasing the hell out of him with it. theyre playing :)

and he also sort of plays with Whenua but in that case its more like they affectionately insult and tease one another the whole time. Whenua will sit him on his lap with some excuse like teaching him how to deal with an earthquake or smth and go at it and then Onewa will say "is that the best youve got?" with a shiteating grin and hell laugh like fuck off you pillow princess i dont see you doing much, and they go back and forth like that until Onewa starts struggling to think straight, at which point Whenua will tease him mercilessly until the other is just straight up incoherent and its time to ease him down a little more gently before his brain explodes. and then once theyre all good n resting he jokes that his stamina sucks and Onewa goes how DARE you and they have sleepy aftercare banter until one of them starts snoring

Vakama is the only one who doesnt tend to dick Onewa down. thats because hes one hell of a cowboy. hell be all unassuming, invite him for tea after meeting with him, chat a while, yknow, typical turaga stuff, and then oh whoops would you look at that its gotten too late you should stay over... and when Onewa smiles and goes "ohhh you sly lil firespitting bastard you done trapped me huh?" Vakama acts all innocent and denies all accusations while also actively seducing him. master of looking like an angel going "i dont know what youre talking about" while very gently laying him down on the bed, climbing over him, and sitting right on his crotch. and Onewa just lets him bc its hot as hell when the firespitters sort of softly in charge like this. plus from his perch atop him Vakama always leans down to give him smooches on the chin while hes riding the absolute shit out of him so hard that Onewa gets genuinely winded and its the best

they sometimes all get together for this kind of thing too. I cannot describe the result bc words missing but yall can imagine it bc ive cursed you to. all you need to know is that Onewa is in the middle of it all and hes getting boned to hell and back very lovingly in a wide array of possible combinations. also his long legs are getting appreciated a lot

Onewa mightve also developed fantasies of engaging in passionate pre-toa trysts with his lads n lass back in metru nui. sneaking around. having semi public sex. he does Not talk about this bc its very confusing even for him and he might Die

and you know what the best part is? Onewa is Convinced that he likes sex for the sex, but hes wrong. he likes it for everything else

dont get me wrong he also likes the sex, its great and fun and he enjoys it, but its like a fun bonus. what he REALLY loves about it is all the work behind and after and around the actual sex part. he loves the planning and the nudges and the little silent communications, and he loves when the other turaga accept or pleasantly surprise him or when theyre the ones to ask first, and he loves the foreplay with all the teasing and bantering and touching and sweet things and getting comfy and the intimacy, and he looooooves being a lil loopy after its all over and getting to enjoy the aftercare and the snuggling and the falling asleep together and the waking up together because he fucking LOVES them and they love HIM and hes a lil starved for affection from back in po metru still

And he doesnt fucking notice bc his body goes "i want people i love to hold me" and his mind interprets it as "we're kinda sad, why dont we have sex? sex always cheers us up" and he goes Youre Right and misses the point

[pinkyjulien]

Hi, i really hope im not bothering you by sending a modding question... i am absolutely brand new to even thinking about modding, and i know theres a big discord out there, but ive mostly heard horror stories coming out of the community so im honestly terrified to even check it out... im just wondering if you have any idea if its feasible to make a mod of Padre's shirt for V? (The one w the sweater over a collared shirt, i feel like ive seen it on other random npcs as well) not asking you to do it or anything, but its one ive never seen in mods so idk if its already been tried by modders and everyone decided "nah this wont work". Again, so sorry if you dont want to be bugged with questions like this, you honestly just feel like one of the most approachable people ive seen in this fandom so far and trying to make any cp77 friends has proven extremely intimidating.

Heya!! It's always ok to ask modding questions, you don't bother at all 🤲

I can't blame you for not wanting to get your feet into big servers, it can get quite overwhelming and frustrating when nobody seems to notice you. Tho I recommend using them as modding-wiki extension! It can be useful to search for solution, plugins and softwares, discord exclusive tutorials, or catch someone's getting help for a similar problem for example. There is no need to be active :3 but no pressure ofc, just know that it's totally ok to join these servers to just lurk

Now for Padre's shirt! I won't be able to do it (not right now at least) so I'll throw infos and direction if anyone else wanna give it a try 🤏

Here's the path to Padre's mesh -

base\characters\garment\gang_valentino\torso\t1_078_shirt__sweater\t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater_old.mesh

Tho we can see its all wonky compared to a regular MA mesh, and that's because this one is specifically fitted for old' Padre (it's even in the mesh file name, _old)

To make a version useable for masc V, we'll need to combine a few meshes available in the same folder!

The main piece: t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater.mesh

The bottom part: t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater_shirt.mesh

The cuffs: t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater_cuffs.mesh

And one of the two available collar: t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater_collar_01.mesh or _collar_02.mesh

All of these should already fit into one another, but if not a lil refit in blender should do the trick!

Then I can only point out to the Modding Wiki and its numerous tutorials for the AXL part (making a standalone clothing mod)

I also recently added my own AXL Workflow in my Tutorial Drive; I'm planning on writing a proper one, for now it's only screenshots from an old private tutorial I made for a friend, some infomartion are outdated (I've learned a lot since then as well) but it can still be useful, hopefully!

Thank you for the ask and for your kind words 🧡 I'm sorry to hear the community hasn't been too welcoming, but there are a lot of good souls willing to help and guide if needed!

A big server that I often recommend is The Cyberpunks; it's a fandom focused server, really chill and friendly, not based entierly on modding but its modding channels are pretty active! I lurk in there, you can catch me in the modding and screenshots area :>

If big servers are out of the picture, I totally recommend trying to get into a smaller server; small bubbles can be more comfortable when the members are well spirited and positive :3

I hope you'll find your place and people you vibe with 🧡 and hope the few info on Padre's shirt can be useful, to you or anyone out there seeing this that might want to give it a try! With a few recolors I'm sure it can be a cute, cozy corpo-ish attire ✨👌

[doctormage]

sorry i need to complain rly quick

ok so i went to the derby thing monday and in a nutshell it was awful solely bc i literally could not stay upright on my skates. im a severe asthmatic so i have to take albuterol before exercise and sometimes it makes me shaky, but this time my legs were like, completely and genuinely useless

everyone there was SO nice and only cared that i didnt hurt myself but im still really fucking embarrassed bc like. i make a point to exercise my legs every single day. at bare minimum i do squats and calf raises EVERY SINGLE DAY and have been for MONTHS bc of physical therapy. those two exercises particularly help keep my ankle and foot mobile so i make sure to do them, at least 30 of each, DAILY!!!!!!!!! my quads are fucking great!!!!!

so im like. alright. very cool and normal that the medication thats supposed to help me breathe is preventing me from even skating 3 feet in any direction, also very cool and awesome that people are gonna think its bc i have zero lower body strength (when in fact that is the ONLY place i have any strength!) bc my legs are like jello rn

(on top of this i was just so anxious and awkward and all this immediately brought up countless childhood memories of my gym teachers openly bullying me in front of my entire class bc i - severe asthmatic who was even worse as a child - wasn't going "fast enough" or "trying hard enough" or whatever. and also generally like the shittiness of not being able to play w your friends or whatever as a kid bc your lungs dont fucking work. so the frustration over this one thing just opened a can of worms that had been marinating for the last 26 years of my life)

(additionally i have placed a LOT on this mentally bc it's my attempt at like cultivating a hobby that involves other people and forcing myself to make friends that live in the same city as me. i've wanted to do this for over a YEAR, i was so excited after i got cleared by my physical therapist, and i also had a cold last week and was frantically doing everything i could to be better again before monday so it was just!!! a lot!!!) (i was better btw and not contagious. still wore a mask to the rink in case i coughed rly gross or smth tho)

i also thought maybe its bc my knees hyperextend REALLY really bad just like in my normal posture so my center of gravity is always all fucked. so on top of my shaky ass legs im trying to combat the entire way my body holds itself and has ALWAYS held itself, while attempting to maintain balance on wheels, and not default to What I Literally Always Do Subconsciously Because That's How My Legs Work. anyway

yesterday it was rainy so i couldnt skate but today i put my skates on and im like. completely fucking fine. not trembling at all, totally capable of remaining upright, maintaining proper form, skating around, everything, even with my fucked up backwards knees. what the hell and fuck

on monday i'd borrowed skates from the rink bc i didnt want to be the only one in new-looking non-derby skates (which i wouldnt have been anyway) so i guess it could be because their skates didnt really fit me right or they're flat and my skates have a heel but like????? why???????? why am i fine now ???????????????????

we have practice again tomorrow and i will ABSOLUTELY be wearing my own skates idgaf how stupid they look i am not putting myself in that position again. i NEED people to know i have functional legs ;_;

[ashen--dreams]

ok im ranting about E now but its under a cut cause its long lol

tldr E wasnt good at bowling when we went yest, he said he hates it, got upset when i got mad/offended over him shitting on one of my fav and only hobbies, and wasnt a fan of the fact that i just wanted to go home and didnt wanna go to the arcade and probably have sex. and i am obviously still butthurt

like ok i understand this man is socially stunted and autistic. but my god. yesterday he lowkey rly pissed me off. we were supposed to go to an arcade, but they werent open yet, so we went bowling instead. he immediately got pissed cause he wasnt good at it out of the gate. he got 3 frames of gutter balls. so i offered pointers: told him he didnt have to do an approach, told him to try to look at the pins or arrows, whichever felt more comfortable. told him how to stand. asked if the ball felt too heavy. he seemingly got increasingly irritated at my pointers so i stopped. he kept crossing his body and overcorrecting which guess what !! is the #1 mistake people make. i do it all the fckin time and have been casually bowling for years. hell, i cant even get a proper spin nor hook on my custom ball. i tried to reassure him that house balls arent great especially for lefties, and that his mistakes are what everyone does. he told me it was frustrating that he couldnt do what i was telling him to do within 4 frames. then he proceeded to tell me how he was mad, not having fun, and hated it! at some point he switched to a lighter ball and started getting straighter throws. so then he claimed to be enjoying it. but ofc, i was offended that he said he hated my hobby, and wanted to stop after a game. not to mention that i didnt trust that he wouldnt start flipping out again. he seemed pretty butthurt that i said i was mad at him. but whatever we left, headed in the direction of his car/the arcade. i stop at the car cause like. Now im in a bad mood, and dont wanna keep the atmosphere sour cause Thats How I Am and ask to go home! he does bring me home, but he definitely didnt seem pleased

i told him over txt that i wasnt ruminating on it, but i kinda am !!! kinda hurts when your vaguely friend shits on one of your fav and only hobbies just cause theres a learning curve !!!! like do you think i started bowling 70s out of the gate ?? im still shit at it even tho i Have been doing it for years. sure, i get frustrated too when i do bad, but fuck i dont start exclaiming how much i hate sports. E said at one point hes not athletic. and like ???? lookit me ?????? bowling is literally the only fckin sport i like to do irl. i did T ball as a 5 year old. never touched another sport club in school after that.

[mzhydes-funtimes]

Uhh depression posting but

Sometimes i just want people to ask if im ok but i dont want to annoy them so i always say im fine, especially since its difficult if theyre genuinely asking or just being polite but also i dont wanna be a burden so i say im fine

Although uhh depending on how i say im fine does also determine how to respond like if i sound annoyed, it means im frustrated or upset and am trying to calm down before talking about it, otherwise im depressed

Uhh. Anyway i wish someone would just insist about how i am i would probably tell them but like i dont know its just really hard to because every time ive told my feelings to someone they stopped being my friend, the one person i didn't do this to is still friends with me for perspective and nowadays im just so statically depressed that i dont know whats wrong

I know other people have it worse so i shouldnt be complaining but whatever i guess I'll post this anyway even tho i shouldnt be depressed

Idk i think i just need someone whos 'showing love' ISNT screaming at me constantly and saying no when i ask if they wanna hear something cool i learned. Oh and saying my fashion is trash all the time. That one guy from the starbucks at target still lives rent free in my head for saying they liked my fashion, in front of my mother

[dandelion-eyelashes-sf]

Yeah but you cant use the “you owe ppl shit” when you have unspoken expectations that i never agreed to tf

Like this sucks, when ppl want something of you / from you that you already said and showed you cant give them

Like why tf were we friends then- if u wanted more?????? Just fuckin leave me alone

I still dont think you’re entitled, even tho my friends do

I think youre hurt and sad and angry and think that you are right/correct

Half a year may be long to you but its not to me

And also, we werent besties like that, where i would share deeply about my internal gpings on. You noticed and didnt think: hm, if its not reciprocated, then that means it wont be reciprocated. Instead you kept on probing. Like wtf u think u were gonna find??

I want to be rid of this anger and frustration— literally taking up so much mental space and energy

And it was all so unexpected cuz i thought we were good, i thought we were friends, i thought we were casual

I trusted you to be truthful about that and now youre hurt cuz u lied?

Even if i did think you were entitled, why would that be so bad?

It seems like ur un-happy and unsatisfied with anything i gave, so why tf were u here, then???

I accepted you as the person you are and i tried to accommodate your communication style

But you dont give me the same understanding when i goof and dont answer an invitation, like youre not my only friend and youre not my priority?????????? When did i say you were? When did i show you in my actions that you were????????

It was lopsided cuz you were more available, but when did i agree to be the same level of available? It was lopsided cuz i worked to understand you and accept, and you didnt.

What the fuck did u even like about me if all you wanted was me to do more, give more, reciprocate the ways you were showing attention?????

And then you say you got co-dependent tendencies. Like bro work on that shit and dont make it my problem.

Ive been tryna be compassionate and not dismiss your feeling but when i express mine you get all mad and hurt????

Just not the same and i dont wanna be friends no more. Idk if ur gonna wantto anyway. Which if u dont, then good- it saves us an awkward conversation where u want a friendship and i dont.

God cant do nothin w scorpios tf lol

Ok i think im good i think im ready to release this shit cuz its FUCKING RIDICULOUS

Fuccccck lol how did i end up here? Blind-sighted by this bullshit.

Anyway anyway i release it all (it may come back but itll be less and less each time)

Im frustrated and thats ok cuz it dont make sense

Im angry cuz I ACTUALLY WAS CONSISTENTLY SHOWING WHO AND HOW I AM AND WHAT I WANTED and she ignored that shit

I angry and hurt cuz i thought i had a friend but turns out she wanted more from me

And aint that typical - how do i avoid this situation in the future?

Im sad cuz it was fun while it lasted but not so sad to miss it or want it back

But as i reflect on my other friends who love me and know me and accept me and remind who i am and remind me im loved as i am, i realize that this friendship was never gonna end up at that level

Not with her pining for something that would never come, not with her ignoring my words about being casual, not her ignoring what tf i show her when i wasnt as available as her in any sense off the word, not with her tryna get me to open up and then asking if she makes me anxious and how can she make me more comfortable? Girl pls wake up to reality

The friends I instantly clicked with and the friends who grew into what we are , both types of friendships were borne out of mutual understanding and acceptance of who we are. Safety came from experience and time and showing up for each other/ letting each other in. Idk , you cant force that.

Anyway, this situation sucks but ive made up my mind that im outtie and im not gonna engage with anymore nonsense.

[livecharliereaction]

Bye tsumihoroboshi

thats all for tsumihoroboshi chapter ZAMN. omfg i did cry i cant lie at that big battle on the rooftop i did i did i did.. It just hits a litte close to home friendship and all that... I love my friends so mach i get everything theyre feeling u know... AND the delusions of rena what a crazy writing style i dont think ill get over it like ever. urgh. Well the final tip almost wanted me to consider that "ooh maybe she was right!" but honestly my takeaways from it are juts 1. disaster happens regardless no matter how the events go otherwise 2. rika was murdered? Thats pretty weird 3. BUT theres hope liek she said BECAUSE: keiichi rememberd something from "another world" (i know a timeloop when i see one. its def a timeloop. Hells yeah) 4. the scrapbooks do hvae some evil spell or something takano i am onto you its weird anyway she shows up at such times and all.. Idk if shes the #MAIN VILLAIN DEMON OMG but shes Something.

Rena i love you thank you for solidifying your place as my favorite good time. argh every chapter so far is better than the one before it goes for this one too it does it does... Which is amazing implications for next ones... Lets hope they keep it up...

And keiichi i cant lie i do love you. I love you i love you i love you. Ughh. If i was still 16 hed have a big chance at going to that kinlist. But hes so gross so i wouldnt actually have added him then either!!! im unable to kin these days because EVERY GOOD CHARACTER EVER has Some Traits I Can Relate To Myself becuase i dont know something something human emotion something i am just like everyone else and everyone is just like me in the end and i love it. But yeah keiichi love the guy hes so #Power of Friendship #Protagonist. Im mentioning this cos i loved the girls from the start and still do but keiichi had to prove himself a little...

Yeah im curious about satoko now too i dont think i paid her enough mind i sort of ended up assuming shes #Normal but just super close to rika obviously but that one line about her being older. I couldnt tell yet if its Haha satokos body is older and rikas being funny! OR Omg satoko some immortal or something too woww! but yeah. I wouldnt think she is it doesnt seem that way at all BUT u never know w this fuckass series..ou ou ou ou ou

Mion i love you the girl that you are. Rena you are everything and more. Rika how have you managed to stay mysterious ive been here for like over 30 hours total for sure maybe even 40. But hmm

if its a timeloop i still cant tell what its about. id say rikas in charge (wants to keep giving this world a chance) n takano is with the antagonistic forces But how does it work exactly? If rikas the one "looping the time" directly it doesnt really compute unless she can do it from the afterlife. I dont konw.

And Omfg i hate this series because i STILL believe satoshi will show up one day. Even though it seems impossible now. But i liked him n shion so much dude i love shion so satoshi HAS TO come back for her. Urgh urgh urgh

But yeah i fr didnt think keiichi would be able to break renas delusion even for such a long moment But he pulled it off. Shes really cool i love her. I love her i love her i love her. UGHHH. Everything and more. and i said it alr but ill say it again the portrayal of her delusional state is SO personal to me i get her i get her i DO so good... Urghh. Ok. Thank u charhigurashi6 i have to check how many games the bundle i bought still has hmm

ok these 3 i own but havent installed lets see The first one here is um well i dont know that girl i havent seen her which is concerning! I feel like i mightve seen a sprite (in the og style that i read with) but thats kinda it. I recall seeing a name somewhere too shes a furude i think but not too sure Im always frustrated when i see a spoiler like that but then it never makes me any more knowledgeable about anything so so far its fine #LOL. proably has to do with the demon stuff tho...

takano in the middle one right takano you are so weird and offputting. Damn maybe she IS the big bad afterall

last one aww rika But yeah thats. I dont know its at least 5 hrs each but i think i spent like 10+ hrs on meakashi so it could possibly be up to like what. 15 even 20? per game. At least 15 hours left though.. Idt theres anything outside of the bundle after this its either higu anime time or umineko time ill see what kinda time i have then (i can probably watch the anime while multitasking i dont really care so much but umineko i want to be TUNED. IN.)

yay exciting ok thank u charhigurashi6 best chapter so far loved it love u rena love u everyone ok gn

[korattata]

I wish i knew how to actually talk to people and not just read a message and then feel dread about the fact that i'm expected to reply even tho i do want to do that. I would like to reply.

I'll give myself credit that i've gotten better at not taking more than a day or two to reply to my very close friends circle but like. What about when i talk to someone else.

I would like to talk to more than a very small handful of people. I have found out that i DO like talking to people actually. I just. Completely hit a wall and cannot formulate a reply. Even if i'm happy about the fact that i'm being talked to just... Nothing sticks to my brain where i can actually say something

I want soooo badly to ask a few people... Idk. I dont understand what the line of actually being friends with someone is. So i think even without this issue i wouldnt be able to tell people "hey i think youre cool and like when we have talked a couple of times, are we actually friends i want to talk to you More" bc thats probably just too weird and stilted and. weird again

Is it a part of the probably-adhd? ... If so, will the people talking to me hold out until i can hopefully get medicated for that like, halfway through next year, even tho they dont know this info? ...What if that doesnt work? I honestly dont know what i'm going to do if i'm not able to fix my brain at least a bit to be honest. Not just on this topic but literally everything is So Difficult to do and any time i see someone say they got medicated for adhd and it helped them its both relieving and terrifying bc like. Ok maybe thats hope, or i'm not going to be able to do that and i have to. Live like this forever i guess??? I cant even get tested until next year at the soonest and havent even gone to the setup appointment yet so. Who cares atm i guess.

I know this is definitely partly general anxiety but even when i am completely able to push past that i still am blocked and its so so frustrating.

i would love to actually have the ability to develop a friendship. I guess i kinda screwed myself over some by being very adamant about Not doing that in the past for whatever reason. I know that part was specifically anxiety for sure.

I'll figure it out eventually, i guess. As long as i'm still able to whenever 'eventually' happens.

[automatismoateo]

Gurl. Keep your blessings to yourself! via /r/atheism

Gurl. Keep your blessings to yourself!

Edit 3: I do, and have been, thanking her and moving on. Thank you to the 487 people who keep telling me to do what I already have been doing, you're so helpful.../s If this isn't a place for atheists to vent their frustrations, please tell me where I should be doing that. I was under the impression that this sub is the place.

Edit 2: the amount of people coming at me for "being an asshole" to her, when I said right here that I don't want to be rude, makes me wonder about the reading comprehension of this sub. Y'all are coming for me, hard, defending the religion you don't believe in? For who? Some of you are really showing your ass. Especially this particular flavor of hypocrite that is being really rude to me while telling me to not be an asshole to this lady when I haven't been rude to the lady. I'm not going to be rude to the lady. I fully understand she's "just trying to be nice". I just thought I could get some commiseration from like-minded people, but silly me, this is reddit, after all. (Either that or there's a full infiltration of angry religious people here) I am not the "angry atheist" so many of you are worried about, but perhaps you should check your mirror. I live in Mormon country, and I get tired of being bombarded with religion constantly. Sorry, my bad.

There's a new lady at my local gas station, and every time we go inside to pay with cash, she always vigorously says, "God bless you" and/or "have a blessed day." It makes me want to not even go to that gas station anymore but in this economy... She's very nice and much faster than the elderly people who also work there. Idk it just gives me the ick.

Like when people say "ill pray for you," eh, no thanks. Save your prayers for someone who needs them. I don't.. I'd really rather you didn't.

I can brush it off when people say "bless you" when I sneeze because what else do you say? I dont say it myself, but it also feels awkward to say nothing?

This feels more invasive than that. I don't want your blessing. Or your sky daddy's. Maybe I should ask her, "Which God, tho?" I'd take a blessing from Thor, Thoth, Aphrodite (not that I believe in them any more than the ol' 'me, myself, and I' trio).

I wish I could think up something witty but not rude to offer her back. I still have to buy gas there, after all.

Edit: ok, some of you guys are taking my mild rant way too seriously. You also clearly don't think modern Christianity is the absolute scourge it is, and it shows. I'm not going to make a pentagram on the floor and summon a demon to the gas station because she dared to bless me, sheesh!

Submitted June 28, 2023 at 02:19PM by mrskmh08 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/iOw46xC)

[flamechasr]

uhm.......... how about that time i dragged him out to stargaze and ik he was really bored and probably preferred to be in his room reading or something but he went along anyway and it made me so happy bc there was someone my age and even though we were totally different its just nice to get along with him like i really liked being around himeko and mr. yang of course but it's just different! bc theyre like my parents but having dan heng with us actually felt like i had a friend. plus i felt like he needed some fun in his life and i really wanted to be the one to bring that! he never asked or anything cause duh it's dan heng but whenever i got him to smile its like the biggest accomplishment ever.... and also that time i had nightmares and i should've gone to himeko bc it made the most sense but i felt bad abt waking her up and dan heng is the only one on the train who regularly stayed up late so i went to him super embarrassed but he was so nice and let me stay. even tho i could tell he was definitely awkward i just didnt want to sleep alone and the data bank isnt a big room but we fit just fine. and in the morning when stelle couldnt find me in my room and he had to cover for us both was so funny bc to this day i Dont Know if stelle knew (even if she did its not a big deal, just a bit embarrassing bsdsdsk) and idk omg im ridiculously happy about how he's been feeling more at ease with us because its been a long time coming but we care him so much and he shouldnt have to feel like he needs to keep secrets with us . like i mean i say offhanded things sometimes but i would never Judge bc no matter what he was still my super cool super smart dan heng. like when he started opening up to us + me a lot more i was genuinely so happy bcs no matter what i just wanted to be reliable to him as much as he was to me and well maybe i wasnt the quintessential reliable figure but if nothing else i would listen! and give my opinions and im sure he didnt need them but it just makes sense. bc i was starting to feel bad that i asked him for help sooo much and i never really did anything for him besides being a little spark of light in his life.. purhaps .... because in the end he is a special person in my life too, who always kept me in check and comforted me (badly but its ok), protected me and stood by me no matter what. i just gggahh i love him to unbearable amounts. i often got frustrated bc hes just never transparent when it came to emotions and it made things really hard sometimes because like i didnt know what i could to do help him and if i asked he'd just say he doesnt need any like UGH how HARD can u be. and i am so scared of messing up but he's never mad at me for it, even when i definitely annoyed him he would never say a genuine mean thing for me (cause we had our playful mean moments) and i get it actually. in the end i think he was doing so much better and i just hope hope hope i brought just a bit of happiness to his life and i wasnt too much ahahahah. i love him i will eat him

blows up

[guzmapkmn-archive]

don't forget to gib your boyfriend kissies all over his cute face

taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @librarian-lover @draconic-friend @meowtroidvanya @permafrown @sweethardtz @redhoodsbf @bleckships @sunlight-ships @heartrotz @incubusshipping @sequids @knightsvampire @mx-h0p3l3ss-r0m4nt1c @granfaro @justice-confidant @dissonantyote @gideongrovel @sunships @glitched-ships @softtransbf @beetleboyfriend @tedspankoffskiscanonfiance @caracello @fates-theysband @camellias-and-coriander @forcehearts @ayatoscupid @faustistic @friezaforce @ilovekirei @legoes @basilships @connor-roys