#i am so frustrated with this but that is ok even tho i still dont like how it looks :((

[guzmapkmn-archive]

don't forget to gib your boyfriend kissies all over his cute face

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[synthetic-sonata]

one day ill post my pokemon games + spinoffs tierlist that im slowly chipping away at and have been since, like, june or july . but i dont think people are ready

[prosciuttoon]

Toshiro/Shuro is overhated

(mirror of my thread on twitter)

ever wanted to talk abt something so bad but u have so many thoughts so u cant even begin to organize a sentence. thats me abt shuro and its why i cant give my thoughts on him. i NEED to get this out of my system bc its takign up so much memory in my brain i need that space for thinking.

so i was really surprised to find so much hate for him even tho he seems pretty normal and rational out of the whole cast. ive deducted that its mostly abt his laios fight and that the ppl who hate him probably had bad experiences w social cues and relationships w neurotypicals bc of that. theres no way to avoid it bc its pretty much Right In Your Face that laios is ND. but thats not the only factor in why their relationship is rocky. its also the culture barrier. u have to understand toshiro was raised as JAPANESE NOBILITY ofc he would be a little conservative

also culture shock. idk if u know this but jp culture is very Mind Your Own Business like a lot of other asian cultures . ofc hes gonna be weirded out by a stranger invading his space. also his names not even Shuro. its just yt ppl not pronouncing his name right and settling for whats easiest.

img src: fan translation by savaralyn2 , i think its from the adventurers bible Complete Edition bc i dont remember it in the old one

ok you get the gist of the culture aspect of it. lets go into the ND/NT clash aspect of it. yes i understand its pretty hurtful to never be told when youre acting inappropriately. i am autistic too lmao. but you have to understand that shiro is one guy and he even does realize that repressing things is one of his fatal flaws. again. asian culture. non confrontational. that sorta thing. but these are genuine frustrations. if i were him id be annoyed too but id speak out about it. set boundaries. bc im blunt. shiros not. he was taught crazy strict manners (hierarchies, respect, politeness, etc).

his problem isnt ableism its a culmination of culture barriers, how he was raised to behave, and terrible lack of communication as thing caused by "all of the above" plus he just generally keeps to himself a lot which means repressing frustrations that will explode leading to a pathetic fistfight while hes starved, exhausted, and dehydrated. also. if he was ableist he would hate laios. he doesnt hate laios. at the end of the day, they are friends. NT and ND ppl can be friends u know. there will be rifts (like their fight) but you just have to communicate misunderstandings. theyre gonna be fine lol

anyways that was my whole spiel abt it. i think i got everything out that i wanted to? my head still feels a little full so i may add more later when i remember something

also i think its a little unfair to rule out the possibility of laios and him just being 2 very different kinds of ND bc its very common for misunderstandings to occur even then. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT BUT WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! but for the sake of interpreting the Fight as a commentary on NT social rules and ND frustration, ill say toshiros NT. will we ever know? hes so far in the sidelines... youd really have to dig in the extra content to see the intricacies of his character.... please give him a chance

[cleromancy]

while from the doylist perspective the stories are specifically propping tim up compared to jason by doing this... i am obviously still very interested in, and compelled by, jason canonically having a pretty high opinion of tim going all the way back to their first meeting.

(for the record, absolutely nothing in-universe justifies jason having this opinion of tim up until tim springs him from prison imo. he beat the snot out of tim in tt29 and it wasn't even hard and yet for some fucking reason he still walks away thinking tim is a Better Robin than he was? like... ok. sure. more thoughts on this later in the post tho)

so the new earth (post-crisis pre-reboot) continuity tim-jason interactions we have, in order, are batman 617-618 (from batman: hush, this ones a retcon and barely counts, its just jason holding tim hostage with a batarang to his throat; and you might also get a glimpse of jay doing this in batman annual 25 lol but its in the other room so im not checking), tt29 (published in the middle of uth coming out, lol), tt47 (countdown tie-in), robin 177 and 182-183 (post-countdown, immediately after jason dumps his red robin costume and one of tims rogues fishes it out of the dumpster to wear, correctly intuiting *for some reason* that this will get to tim), and......... sigh. stupid battle for the stupid cowl.

(and, since were talking about jasons perspective, theres also the picture wall in lost days. i dont know what issue it is because to me lost days is not "made up" of "issues", it is one book i simply open to devour whole whilst weeping.)

i think tt 29 is the interaction i find the most frustrating because... we have an idea what tt29 would have been like if it were good. bc we have ga01 69-72. and granted Tim is such a cocky little shit (affectionate) that jason simply. Would probably not have been able to scare him no matter what, lol... but imagine if this fucking issue had been good.

ok cutting 4 length

the problem with johns. .......the FIRST problem with johns. is that he regularly has interesting ideas and his execution of them completely falls flat. the second problem with johns is that he can't write dialogue. the third problem with johns is that it was really really important to him that you understood what a Talented And Special Boy tim is but instead of showing you that he just forced other characters to. tell you. over and over. jason is not johns' only victim in this quest. (and johns was also not the only perpetrator, as we will see when i get to fuckin fabnic.)

but like i said i *am* actually interested in the potential here, because i do think there is potential.

and i also think that--at least when you read into it as deeply as i do--jason is sympathetic in this issue. (don't give me "hes beating up a child" crap here btw. jason's only 2-3 years older, tims a peer to him, they could easily have gone to high school together if jason hadnt fuckin died.) johns deliberately shows us Jason hoping raven gets a reprieve from the nightmares, and he certainly was *trying* to show us how much it would fucking suck to be remembered as the Bad Robin, forgotten except to be a cautionary tale, what kind of things that would do to a person emotionally. AND he makes a point of highlighting Jason's loneliness and isolation as robin, and. tbh i dont think the issue itself rly blames Jason for that. (you most certainly do not gotta hand it to him though. under no circumstances do you gotta hand it to johns for anything.)

and while jason tearing off his clothes to reveal his party city knockoff robin costume--the better to beat you with, my dear--was, erm. falling mostly on the wrong side of the line btwn camp and cringe... i do think jason writing his own name in blood on the wall was right on the money, *especially* because it was obviously not tims blood. like, tim wasnt bleeding anywhere near enough for that. it was either fake blood or jason prepped his own beforehand for them to DNA test--but also if they saw it before they saw tim, to make them fear for tims life, as a reminder of the risks theyre dealing with here.

oh but i was planning on talking specifically about like. what Jason might actually have seen in tim that left him with a positive impression. as-written? kinda nothing. lmao. or well the one thing imo is this

just kidding i couldn't find the panelz somehow despite posting them literally like yesterday and i ran into this lol:

>:| got distracted again. by this.

anyway i give up ill add the pics later. but its the exchange where jason has *decisively* won the fight, tims crumpled on the floor concussed and winded, and jason demands if tim *really* thinks he was good enough to tail bruce unnoticed for weeks.

and tim says "yes." hes beat up enough he can barely talk but there's still no hesitation whatsoever. and jason is *really* down on himself in this issue--he calls himself a failure, he feels like no one cared about his death, he feels unremembered. and jasons stated intentions here were to get the measure of tim but i also stand by the interpretation that he wanted to warn tim off of the sidekick gig, to remind him you uh. you have to be dick fucking grayson to survive it. (i dont believe either of them mentions him by name, but hey, dicks shadow is big enough for the both of them.)

i think what jason finds worthy of respect here--and, on top of that, intriguing enough that in robin 177 he entreats tim to join him--is the confidence, and also? at absolutely no point does tim believe jason is there to kill him. not a fuckin high bar, i know, but like i said i do think jason had *planned* to try and scare tim off (just also mega derailed himself by accident bc he got too in his feelings about the statue room 🥺), and... its not a bar he would have expected Tim to clear, is all im saying. particularly because while it is *possible* this took place in the middle of uth (tt 29 was released in november 05, between batman 646 and 647, which is the part where slade shows up bc black mask hired him to take jason out, so tt29 couldnt have happened in the middle of those two specific issues, but there are several other points at which jason could have taken a break in menacing gotham to fly to san Francisco), with Jason talking so negatively about himself i have to assume this is after the end of uth.

(you might be able to place this in the in-universe chronology by if/when teen titans mentions chemo dropping on bludhaven, which happens immediately before the bruce-jason-joker final showdown. however i dont feel like poking around for that or any other details to anchor tt29 to the other events happening at the time rn.)

i just also think so much of what jasons doing in this issue is like--he doesn't know *what* hes there to do. he had a plan and hes kinda fumbling it, not because tim is being especially resourceful but because jasons still licking his emotional wounds from uth, and titans tower is bringing up ones i dont think he ever realized hadnt healed. hes feeling everything at once. hes angry and hurt and full of self loathing but i think by the time tim simply says "yes," jason hits the stage of just being... burnt out. done lashing out, fucking tired, just wants to go home, if he can ever find it.

but i do think that "yes" would stick in his craw for a long time afterwards.

tt47: tim kicks jason in the nuts and pretty much declares them even for tt29 lolol. you may have seen my post about how jason only *sometimes* wears armor in countdown--hes drawn in the armored turtleneck and tac pants in tt47, but there are times in countdown hes out there fighting aliens and metas and shit in his jacket, a *t-shirt,* and *jeans.* just a squishy regular degular baseline human doing this and no one ever brings it up. but anyway. do i think tim would have seen jason wearing the equivalent of civvies plus a domino mask, narrow in on that, and immediately decide to kick him in the balls? i sure do. do i also think that this would make him rise in jasons estimation?

yeah. yeah, i really do. lol

anyway after this! after this is jasons briefish world-hopping stint as red robin saving the universe being a big damn hero and getting paid dust by everyone around him, in countdown; i think i mentioned before in this post that at the end he abandons the red robin suit in a dumpster, where it gets picked up by one of tims rogues. this storyline sucks and fabnic is a hack unfortunately. the rogue did it bc he wants tims attention or whatever. not important except for how irritating it is that fabnic fumbled a concept this juicy (tim inheriting and eventually purposely adopting The Bad Robin Mantle) which is also further fumbled by stupid battle for the stupid cowl, and the people who it falls to to salvage it are. johns again, in adventure comics 3, and yost, who is a better writer than johns or fabnic but not by like a huge margin.

and while i do think tim having a bad opinion of jason at this point was inevitable i find it so frustrating the way it was executed... like so often with Bad Tim Writing and also fuckin DC Editorial's Jason Slander Agenda shit it wasn't because in-universe thats how the characters would feel, the writer was using tim as a mouthpiece, and jasons competence and things he cares about arent taken seriously... BUT WHATEVER the point is that when Tim goes to stop Jason from his villainous scheme to reduce crime or whatevr jason has such a high opinion of him that he asks tim to join him:

and jasons loneliness, his desperation to be heard, is such a theme for him in the new earth/post crisis era and i wish it had been. Handled better lol are you noticig a theme here its that Jason has been written badly. (tim too, tbh.) and when tim says no jasons dejected but unsurprised acceptance breaks my heart. but to me the most interesting part of jasons appearance at the end of tims robin series is in 182, when tim--for absolutely no good reason--gives jason the means to break out of prison.

he says something about how its what Bruce would have wanted, but for. reasons i wont get too deeply into rn, that absolutely does not hold water.

anyway i just think there's no way jason doesn't start crushing on tim at least a little at this point. shrug.

bftc sucks and i dont want to look at it rn. but its also got examples of jasons high opinion of tim. and also im mad at it bc both countdown AND his appearances in robin feel like they could have been taking jason to a like. more of an antihero type of role and then we get bftc and morrison and its kind of. fucking hard to get jason anywhere near back on track after that for those of us who still like playibg in the post-crisis pre-reboot sandbox. and i wouldnt be mad about that if bftc had been good bc Jason absolutely does make an incredibly interesting and effective and tragic antagonist when handled well but well. he wasnt. and i have no idea what bftc would.have even been like if it was good bc it was so off the wall and dumb and assassinated actually *everyones* characters. so.

anyway

im just going to roll back to robin 183 now

jasons referring to the damage tim got when he got a little bit exploded in 180, this pretty nasty burn on the back of his head, which was actually why he wore jasons RR cowl for the first time (he was still robin). but what you do see here--aside from Tims narration which puts him *firmly* on the side of obnoxiously arrogant and judgmental instead of charmingly cocky in this issue, to my estimation, thanks for nothing fabnic--is the two of them on firmly cordial terms. jason still thinks more highly than tim does of him, but theyre asking each other about their injuries... tim caring about the wellbeing of people he doesn't even like is par for the course with him, ofc, but once again Jason doesn't really get that a whole lot. constantly haunted by this panel from countdown btw:

does he though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here is another jaytim preboot canon interactions post from a few months ago with some more thoughts, some repeated lol.

anyway. incoherent rambling complete for now. however. jaytim time is all the time 👍 i will revisit this.

[sleepy-vix]

ok guys i finished the poppy war wtf. i feel so hollow right now. i feel so... unsatisfied by the ending but not necessary in a bad way??? i have to read the other books and see what happens but at the same time it feels so hopeless and i dont approve of rin as a main character anymore (tho i am aware that it doesnt matter whether i "approve" of her or not) but i will still definitely read the other books bc i loved the book overall. i just think that the storyline rn is very... surreal?

also,

(spoilers below)

i NEED TO KNOW what the fuck happened to nezha bc i just know that rf kuang has smtg cooking for him. my personal theory is that he didnt die from the gas bc he secretly is connected to the god of healing (hence why his spine healed so fast and enki speculated abt his dragon insigna) and so hes alive and maybe imprisoned? maybe he was sent to a science lab to, or he somehow ran away, or he pretended to join forces?? idrk but im sure that hes alive and its got to do with his dragon insignia

im so sad that everybody from sineguard died/isnt in the story anymore (other than kitayyyyyy thank god. im so glad he reappeared) bc i tbh dont feel much of an attachment toward the cike members 😭 like idk i love Qara and Chaghan but the others are eh to me, like i would trade their presence for Irjah's or Raban or Niang or EVEN JUN 😭 tho im just being sentimental, i dont actually mean it. (tho i would like to see a jun reappearance and redemption...)

oh btw i think i rate this a 4/5 star read

my criticisms are as such:

- the middle part where they kept losing was very dreary (tho i imagine kuang was trying to make it seem desperate/devastating and tense, it was just droll to read tbh).

- the sudden reconciliation between nezha and rin felt very unnatural (like i understand the feeling of "who cares abt our petty rivalry when theres literally a whole ass war happening?" but then again, this is just fiction and it wouldve been nice to read their familiar banter- or at least have it dragged out a bit before the reconciliation). i feel like it was just very unnatural, unless.... unless nezha fell in love with Rin when she erupted into flames at sineguard???? if THAT happened then i feel like the reconciliation would make alot more sense bc when nezha came to khurdalain it was like he was desperate to make Rin like him/forgive him ???

- a few things were pretty predictable. it was pretty obvious that Jiang was the gatekeeper, which was disappointing because if that was a little less obvious, i feel like the scene were Rin and Altam discover Jiang in the Stone Mountain would've had a bigger emotional impact on the reader (me)

though here are the things i liked:

- Rin at the first half of the book was the best mc everrrr

- Kitay. i have nothing wrong with Kitay. he's my favourite for sure

- Jiang's style of teaching (i loved how they just conversed and would come to nonsensical philosphical questions that made Rin frustrated but made Jiang delighted. eg "Why do people dream what they dream?")

- the way Kuang described the god realm vs the human realm. it was all very believable and assured. it wasn't vague at all, in my opinion. theres ofc alot of questions abt the different planes still, but the genius of it is that she wrote about it in a way that assured that it was normal to have questions, and even more normal to not get answers for them, and that we should just accept it (idk, thats the vibe i was getting. like, she didnt say "just believe it" as an excuse for lazy writing, she said "just believe it" because, well, just believe it.)

ok yeah thats all i have to say for now :)

if you've read the poppy war, PLEASEEE INTERACT (no spoilers tho pls)

[randomwriteronline]

frustrated abt brain not managing to write onewa getting laid. have at ye some brainstorming on the matter. as a curse

first of all why is Onewa specifically the one getting dicked down? because i say so. i wrote him getting pampered by all his teammates once (to shut him the fuck up) and now i want them to rock his world into next tuesday. something about him compels me. his bastard charms and attitude have bewitched me. so im unleashing the rest of the turaga upon him

second. communication game? pristine. top shelf. impeccable. these six have a whole system of little nudges and hints and stuff for "id like a bit of bangin if you would be keen on indulging me" and theyre never pushing at a refusal. these messages can be relayed anywhere from two weeks to five minutes before anything is in place and if the answers a no then its thumbs up and no problem. the matoran are none the wiser. not even Matoro. my boy can know all the secrets of the toa metru and shit but hes peacefully oblivious to the mindblowing Onewa Boning thats been going on behind the entire islands back for a thousand years. as he should be.

also im a sappy shit so theyre all sweet during intercourse bc it makes me :) and also because i need that stone bastard torn asunder by tenderness

now youd think mr hordika urges Matau would jump to the sex immediately given the chance and youd be dead wrong. bc first and foremost hes a romantic. hes gonna bone him to hell and back but to do that, he has to put in The Effort. must he? not really, but he wants to and it makes him feel happy n proud of himself. so hes nestmaking a new nest every time, and each one is the best nest hes ever nestmade bc hes always improving, and hes composing a lil treespeak song songsinging his lovers praises to hushwhisper in his ear while laying down on top of him, and after the first verse hes mumbling about how the next one should be accompanied by a slowdance if you catch my drift, and Onewa is fucking slurping it all up. he loves this. he can understand maybe a quarter of the whole thing bc the pronunciation is super strict but he can hear the intention and his ego is getting stroked. why thank you yes i AM the best. keep flattering me. oh a slowdance? well dont mind if i do...

Nokama on the other hand will pull him over, feel him up very gently until hes melted into a puddle, and then nudge his face into the pillow and dick him down so good he has to fight not to start screaming bc the entire ga-koro population is ASLEEP RN and he doesnt need them to be nosy abt this. she loves how he tries to buy time and fails miserably. shes speedrunning the foreplay for fun. see how fast she can turn him into a flustered mess. her all-time record was three seconds and a half but that was bc shed sent him a letter detailing how she was going to wreck him half a day in advance and when they actually got alone time he was still going insane about it so it doesnt really count even tho she insists it does

now you know hate-sex. ok. imagine that concept but less intense. like annoyance-sex. or mild inconvenience-sex. or "aw fuck, i cant believe youve done this"-sex. or that glare that you get after you say a stupid pun-sex. thats what Nuju and Onewa have. they NEED to do some light arguing before it bc thats half the fun!! usually Onewa bothers Nuju with something small and silly and Nuju then stands up and paces around very slightly angry for a moment or two before smoothly sliding back to him and pinning him somewhere he can bend over on. Onewa fakes the weakest struggle possible and tells him he sucks at a host bc he doesnt even take him somewhere comfortable for this smh, and then as soon as he gets very gently pushed forward he splays himself down all wiggly with excitement. its very cute and also satisfying to see the resident contrarian like that. plus Nuju knows this low quiet coo that makes Onewa shiver really hard bc he likes it a lot and you KNOW hes teasing the hell out of him with it. theyre playing :)

and he also sort of plays with Whenua but in that case its more like they affectionately insult and tease one another the whole time. Whenua will sit him on his lap with some excuse like teaching him how to deal with an earthquake or smth and go at it and then Onewa will say "is that the best youve got?" with a shiteating grin and hell laugh like fuck off you pillow princess i dont see you doing much, and they go back and forth like that until Onewa starts struggling to think straight, at which point Whenua will tease him mercilessly until the other is just straight up incoherent and its time to ease him down a little more gently before his brain explodes. and then once theyre all good n resting he jokes that his stamina sucks and Onewa goes how DARE you and they have sleepy aftercare banter until one of them starts snoring

Vakama is the only one who doesnt tend to dick Onewa down. thats because hes one hell of a cowboy. hell be all unassuming, invite him for tea after meeting with him, chat a while, yknow, typical turaga stuff, and then oh whoops would you look at that its gotten too late you should stay over... and when Onewa smiles and goes "ohhh you sly lil firespitting bastard you done trapped me huh?" Vakama acts all innocent and denies all accusations while also actively seducing him. master of looking like an angel going "i dont know what youre talking about" while very gently laying him down on the bed, climbing over him, and sitting right on his crotch. and Onewa just lets him bc its hot as hell when the firespitters sort of softly in charge like this. plus from his perch atop him Vakama always leans down to give him smooches on the chin while hes riding the absolute shit out of him so hard that Onewa gets genuinely winded and its the best

they sometimes all get together for this kind of thing too. I cannot describe the result bc words missing but yall can imagine it bc ive cursed you to. all you need to know is that Onewa is in the middle of it all and hes getting boned to hell and back very lovingly in a wide array of possible combinations. also his long legs are getting appreciated a lot

Onewa mightve also developed fantasies of engaging in passionate pre-toa trysts with his lads n lass back in metru nui. sneaking around. having semi public sex. he does Not talk about this bc its very confusing even for him and he might Die

and you know what the best part is? Onewa is Convinced that he likes sex for the sex, but hes wrong. he likes it for everything else

dont get me wrong he also likes the sex, its great and fun and he enjoys it, but its like a fun bonus. what he REALLY loves about it is all the work behind and after and around the actual sex part. he loves the planning and the nudges and the little silent communications, and he loves when the other turaga accept or pleasantly surprise him or when theyre the ones to ask first, and he loves the foreplay with all the teasing and bantering and touching and sweet things and getting comfy and the intimacy, and he looooooves being a lil loopy after its all over and getting to enjoy the aftercare and the snuggling and the falling asleep together and the waking up together because he fucking LOVES them and they love HIM and hes a lil starved for affection from back in po metru still

And he doesnt fucking notice bc his body goes "i want people i love to hold me" and his mind interprets it as "we're kinda sad, why dont we have sex? sex always cheers us up" and he goes Youre Right and misses the point

[juni-ravenhall]

we played the quest now and mostly its just like. all these recent quests are at the quality as if a child wrote them but that feels like an insult to child authors. imagine if any other game at this price point (!) put out main story updates at this quality and this playtime per month(s).....

more specific commentary under here

the dark riders still dont feel like actual villains or threats to me at all, due to the rushed and stupid way they were introduced after their design updates, combined with how bad the writing is. i feel like im just chewing on a tasteless gum when i play this. but thats an insult to gum. its very nothing. its neither dramatic nor funny nor meaningful in any way.

the writing and timing is so bad that nothing holds any real dramatic weight. i didnt feel anything about maya getting zapped - i assume shes fine tho??? - obviously yes its harmful to choose to hurt the lesbians rather than literally anyone else and its worth criticising bc ppl need to stop making oppressed characters suffer more than the not-oppressed, but also just the whole thing is handled so badly that i can barely even care bc its so fucking stupid that nothing holds any weight. at this point anything any of the charas says and does just feels completely empty.

like you could just have mr sands collapse to the ground from a heart attack in the middle of the dialogue and sabine say "lol loser" and it wouldnt even feel especially out of place in the current quality of writing and storytelling.

it was fun to see darko and sands again just because we have more relation to darko as a villain than any of the dark riders. the same way i am way more interested in ms drake or mr anwir (rip i guess) than i am in the dark riders bc they were sooo badly included in the story and then suddenly now theyre everywhere and talk all the time as if we know them and as if theyve been a consistent villain. i am way more interested in any other npc than in the dark riders, i have more emotional connection to ed field than i have to katja. bc they were not written into the story properly. this is a continuous frustration i have reading any main story updates.

anyway the erissa race was just.... fine. this is supposed to be a kind of mini boss moment in other games. however, due to my horse not being fed (a system that sse designed) i rode quite slow which in itself takes away drama, but also, the race just felt really.... nothing, again. its not bad... its just nothing. the floating objects in the forest were cool, and the yarn stuff is cute (tho i dont feel anything about this design bc again she and her design is just thrown at me with no buildup - like - a character having a theme that you build up a connection to, is not happening here), but it doesnt feel like an important race or like a mini boss, its just.... ok i went here and now i went there. why tho. how did this matter.

it wasnt a difficult enough race in any way that it felt like challenging gameplay (mini boss fight) and ive said before, yes sure there are 8yo players who never played a game before and need it to be relatively easy - but this can be achieved in other ways than forcing *all* players to play a really dumb easy race, and its also not consistent throughout the game - sometimes a race is randomly kinda hard, other times its something you could do blindfolded, but without any consistent relation to where when and why the race takes place.

normally in games, battles/races/whatever would get more and more challenging as the story goes on, as levels go up, as new mechanics get introduced, as player skill and experience grows.

but yeah i just really hate the story quests at this point. theyre empty. theyre badly written. they are forgettable and dont hold the dramatic weight theyre supposed to. they feel random and disconnected from the rest of the game we played until a couple years ago. the characters and stuff are just handled so badly. the story and lore is confusing and hard to understand. its a mess.

all of this would be fine if sso was a game you play for free. it would be fine if it was a game that cost 10 dollars. it would be fine if it had microtransactions that were like, 1-3 dollars here and there, not 30 dollars here and there to afford two items or one horse or whatever.

i wouldnt judge it so harshly for this bad quality in the story quests (the writing, the storytelling and lore, the characters, the gameplay, the animations, the models and designs, the feeling of making progress as a player....) if the game was overall as cheap as its quests are.

[flowerscorpses]

Some people just shouldn’t become nurses

Like I dont know bro, if you cant sympathise with someone… this job is prob nothing for you

It was the first day, the day i had sufgery on my throat where they took out half a thyrpid because of a tumor, and like is spent like around four hours in the wake up room, i got told its normally around like 2-3 hours but whatever right

I woke up and i was so fkin drowsy and nauseous, i had to wait til the doc gave to ok that i can get into my station room. On the way i could barely open my eyes and this fkin nurse was like: "you should open your eyes or why are they so small? Are you chinese?" And this is so wrong in so many ways like wtf….

Anyway my parents came, i threw up, and i eventually fell asleep again. I woke the same day to the doc telling me that it was good that they took the thyroid out, bc the know was apparently very hard? And he proceeded to tell me that they damaged a nerve which led the paralysis of my right vocal cord. I tried to ask if it was like a bad tumor but he couldn’t hear me💀💀 one of the assistant doctors understood me tho and the doc said we will know in a week (so i will know monday about that)

Anyway. I fell asleep again only to wake up and threw up. My roommate, a sweet older lady who had cancer, called for the nurses on my behalf (i am so sorry i woke the lady up 💀)) And those nurses were nice and helpful and helped me calm down blah blah i went back to sleep

Next morning (friday) the one nurse came to wake us up. And she was like: "You are still sleeping? You should open your eyes or are they usually thid small"

Like bro wtf is your problem? Its not even 24 hours after the surgery what do you want from me i am in pain

But i couldn’t talk so whatever. I ignored her. I could t eat the breakfast bc of nausea. Lunch also was too difficult to eat. Even the cantine lady showed more sympathy than that fucking nurse.

Anyway the roomie old lady gossiped a little with me and said that the staff is a but weird and that they should know their work and not ask us how we want things (they like asked her what she wanna eat and how much and my roomie just didnt know bc she had like colon cancer). So we like gossiped a bit and she told me its weird af that they wilm release me saturday i already bc of the way i had to threw up and stuff and yeah its kinda weird but i wanna go home anyway so whatever

The bad nurse came into the room at one point again and told us we should stand up and move and that i really should stop having my eyes closed all the time. Even remembering this is frustrating me so much like wtf woman

Anyway at night another nurse came and gave smth against thrombosis, didn’t even hurt, i tried to sleep. But at one point late evening i hot sudden stabbing pains in my back and chest. I reflexively called for a nurse and bro…. It wasnt that one bad nurse it was another bad nurse i will call her nurse B. Nurse B asked whats wrong, and i tried to tell her that i am not getting much air. Admittedly my voice is really weak and almost non existent but her first reaction… she was like: "do you want painkiller?"

To your alls information i had gotten painkiller two hours before this incident. So i tried to convey her that, no, i had some already and that the problem is my chest and air

But the nurse B just was like disappointedly like: "So no painkiller?"

Bro i got so fkin frustrated i was near tears okay like i am in pain, i am scared af and this nurse is talking about painkiller to make her job easier. I said no and she left said she would get a serum for me. Whatever that serum is i have no idea. Anyway she left. I waited like 10 minutes. I texted my bestie instead and she like helped me calm down and agreed that it just might be anxiety and my head causing me chest tightness. So i decided to take a walk in the floorhall to get my brain tired and if i collapse someone would see and have to react. So i walked for like 10 minutes i think. I teyted a bit more with the bestie back in my room and fell asleep. I think it was like two hours later that nurse B returned with a Serum. I didn’t need it anymore but i could say or do anything at that time anymore so urgh luckily it didnt cause me damage. But normally they have to check in like 20 minutes later to get the empty bottle off and stuff… guess what? They didnt.

Its saturday now, I wake up to the assistant docs telling me that i can go home in a few hours after they pulled the pipe out of my throat. I was like okay cool and fell back asleep.

I woke up to the cantine lady bringing breakfast, she was like: awww you are leaving today already, Mausi?

And i dunno that lady was really nice and sweet to me, prob the best staff member in that hospital, she should get a raise just for her empathy.

I somehow fell asleep again i think? I am not sure or no i think i took my hormones and then had one bun and a chamomile tea and fell asleep after that. I woke up and found like painkiller juice for me on my table which i took bc pain. But there were two more pills for me to take. And i asked a nurse what that is for and she was like: those are painkillers

Like excuse me why are you giving me so many painkillers at once????? I didn’t take them for obvious reasons… like… i dunno bro thats overdosing. I might have intrusive thoughts but i still want to live.

Anyway bad nurse came and guess what she said? That i should stand up and move more and not sleep all the time. BITCH. I. AM. RECOVERING. FROM SURGERY. I. AM. FATIGUED. I HAVE HORMONAL IMBALANCE. I HAVE PAIN. I AM AWARE THAT MOVING IS GOOD MAYBE YOU SHOULD MOVE MORE AND DO UR WORK PROPERLY.

Omg wait did i say she gave me an thrombosis i jection the nigjt to saturday? I might have mixed up the day. Like the first one i got from another nurse which i didnt even notice, that was like the night to friday. And the second one i got the night to saturday and it was bad nurse giving me the injection.

I am sorry my mind is scattered okay like kdkdnndny It hurt so bad when she injected it. Normally u like pinch the tummy fat so it doesnt hurt. But bad nurse just stabbed the needle in. It burned for an hour and hurt. And today i noticed that it had bled.

Anyway back to the other part uhhhhh ah right. Bad nurse was there and told me to move yada yada yada. She took the pipe out of my throat and thank the fucking stars nothing happened while she did that. I only am left with a little hole that should be healing.

Two hours later i got the docs letter and everything and was able to leave that fkin place.

And i am still dizzy, tired and in pain.

But at least i got rid of this now

Puuuuh

Whoever read this.. i am sorry for wasting your time💀

Have a nice day

[pinkyjulien]

Hi, i really hope im not bothering you by sending a modding question... i am absolutely brand new to even thinking about modding, and i know theres a big discord out there, but ive mostly heard horror stories coming out of the community so im honestly terrified to even check it out... im just wondering if you have any idea if its feasible to make a mod of Padre's shirt for V? (The one w the sweater over a collared shirt, i feel like ive seen it on other random npcs as well) not asking you to do it or anything, but its one ive never seen in mods so idk if its already been tried by modders and everyone decided "nah this wont work". Again, so sorry if you dont want to be bugged with questions like this, you honestly just feel like one of the most approachable people ive seen in this fandom so far and trying to make any cp77 friends has proven extremely intimidating.

Heya!! It's always ok to ask modding questions, you don't bother at all 🤲

I can't blame you for not wanting to get your feet into big servers, it can get quite overwhelming and frustrating when nobody seems to notice you. Tho I recommend using them as modding-wiki extension! It can be useful to search for solution, plugins and softwares, discord exclusive tutorials, or catch someone's getting help for a similar problem for example. There is no need to be active :3 but no pressure ofc, just know that it's totally ok to join these servers to just lurk

Now for Padre's shirt! I won't be able to do it (not right now at least) so I'll throw infos and direction if anyone else wanna give it a try 🤏

Here's the path to Padre's mesh -

base\characters\garment\gang_valentino\torso\t1_078_shirt__sweater\t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater_old.mesh

Tho we can see its all wonky compared to a regular MA mesh, and that's because this one is specifically fitted for old' Padre (it's even in the mesh file name, _old)

To make a version useable for masc V, we'll need to combine a few meshes available in the same folder!

The main piece: t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater.mesh

The bottom part: t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater_shirt.mesh

The cuffs: t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater_cuffs.mesh

And one of the two available collar: t1_078_ma_shirt__sweater_collar_01.mesh or _collar_02.mesh

All of these should already fit into one another, but if not a lil refit in blender should do the trick!

Then I can only point out to the Modding Wiki and its numerous tutorials for the AXL part (making a standalone clothing mod)

I also recently added my own AXL Workflow in my Tutorial Drive; I'm planning on writing a proper one, for now it's only screenshots from an old private tutorial I made for a friend, some infomartion are outdated (I've learned a lot since then as well) but it can still be useful, hopefully!

Thank you for the ask and for your kind words 🧡 I'm sorry to hear the community hasn't been too welcoming, but there are a lot of good souls willing to help and guide if needed!

A big server that I often recommend is The Cyberpunks; it's a fandom focused server, really chill and friendly, not based entierly on modding but its modding channels are pretty active! I lurk in there, you can catch me in the modding and screenshots area :>

If big servers are out of the picture, I totally recommend trying to get into a smaller server; small bubbles can be more comfortable when the members are well spirited and positive :3

I hope you'll find your place and people you vibe with 🧡 and hope the few info on Padre's shirt can be useful, to you or anyone out there seeing this that might want to give it a try! With a few recolors I'm sure it can be a cute, cozy corpo-ish attire ✨👌

[doctormage]

sorry i need to complain rly quick

ok so i went to the derby thing monday and in a nutshell it was awful solely bc i literally could not stay upright on my skates. im a severe asthmatic so i have to take albuterol before exercise and sometimes it makes me shaky, but this time my legs were like, completely and genuinely useless

everyone there was SO nice and only cared that i didnt hurt myself but im still really fucking embarrassed bc like. i make a point to exercise my legs every single day. at bare minimum i do squats and calf raises EVERY SINGLE DAY and have been for MONTHS bc of physical therapy. those two exercises particularly help keep my ankle and foot mobile so i make sure to do them, at least 30 of each, DAILY!!!!!!!!! my quads are fucking great!!!!!

so im like. alright. very cool and normal that the medication thats supposed to help me breathe is preventing me from even skating 3 feet in any direction, also very cool and awesome that people are gonna think its bc i have zero lower body strength (when in fact that is the ONLY place i have any strength!) bc my legs are like jello rn

(on top of this i was just so anxious and awkward and all this immediately brought up countless childhood memories of my gym teachers openly bullying me in front of my entire class bc i - severe asthmatic who was even worse as a child - wasn't going "fast enough" or "trying hard enough" or whatever. and also generally like the shittiness of not being able to play w your friends or whatever as a kid bc your lungs dont fucking work. so the frustration over this one thing just opened a can of worms that had been marinating for the last 26 years of my life)

(additionally i have placed a LOT on this mentally bc it's my attempt at like cultivating a hobby that involves other people and forcing myself to make friends that live in the same city as me. i've wanted to do this for over a YEAR, i was so excited after i got cleared by my physical therapist, and i also had a cold last week and was frantically doing everything i could to be better again before monday so it was just!!! a lot!!!) (i was better btw and not contagious. still wore a mask to the rink in case i coughed rly gross or smth tho)

i also thought maybe its bc my knees hyperextend REALLY really bad just like in my normal posture so my center of gravity is always all fucked. so on top of my shaky ass legs im trying to combat the entire way my body holds itself and has ALWAYS held itself, while attempting to maintain balance on wheels, and not default to What I Literally Always Do Subconsciously Because That's How My Legs Work. anyway

yesterday it was rainy so i couldnt skate but today i put my skates on and im like. completely fucking fine. not trembling at all, totally capable of remaining upright, maintaining proper form, skating around, everything, even with my fucked up backwards knees. what the hell and fuck

on monday i'd borrowed skates from the rink bc i didnt want to be the only one in new-looking non-derby skates (which i wouldnt have been anyway) so i guess it could be because their skates didnt really fit me right or they're flat and my skates have a heel but like????? why???????? why am i fine now ???????????????????

we have practice again tomorrow and i will ABSOLUTELY be wearing my own skates idgaf how stupid they look i am not putting myself in that position again. i NEED people to know i have functional legs ;_;

[trixstriforce]

hello :) i saw your posts about lu and idk if you were gauging interest in people hearing your opinions. personally i would be super interested in reading what specifically about every lu character is ooc! i am similarly frustrated with the current dominance of lu characterizations in fandom as a ww fan. ive been following for a while i just logged into this side account because i am scared to ask on main :( i hope you do not mind the somewhat bare blog. thank you!

oh my god oh my god oh my god someone wants my opinion??? do u wanna make out???? u do not understand the power u r giving me rn u do not understand how annoying and nitpicky and very passionate i can get specifically about lu bc i care so much about link its unreal and also bc i just like things like linkedmaze, dimensional links, and minaslinkverse better characterization wise bc to me they have shown the "found family links meeting up" thing a lotttt better than lu when i still read it

but to be fair i STOPPED reading around the part where four split due to the way the lu community reacting to the person with DID, a very stigmatized disorder who genuinely just wanted Jojo to acknowledge they messed up in the past and present and didnt like the vauge ass apology she gave making me actually disgusted. ppl talk about accountability then rallied against 1 tumblr user who was uncomfortable bc ppl liked Jojo's comic so she doesnt have to explain that now she respects nonbinary ppl and understands how past things were wrong for her to say we just infer this bc lu good :/ like hey maybe Jojo owned up to it afterwards or something bc she made 2 apologies that would make a YouTuber blush so i was done w/ the community and it was only rlly after that and after i played a few of the actual games + read some mangas i realized wow actually i do not like lu as much as i thoguht i did they butchered my boy, also i feel i should say it literally wouldnt matter to me do what u want in ur au but lu is now a fandom of its own and its influenced a lot of other aus and interpretations of link so i do take issue w/ how ooc these guys end up being

OK HERE R THE MOST BASIC ISSUES W/OUT GETTING INTO EACH LINK RN:

for one i dont know for me having link as a secret hoarder who would rather DIE than use the full scope of his abilities around OTHER HEROS is just no bc thats fucking stupid levels of wanting to appear normal around OTHER HEROS possiblly the ONLY other ppl to ever understand what u r going through

for me having every single link act like a frat boy/standard teenage white boy who is emotionally constipated is a no??? have u SEEN link he is so sociable and kind and understanding to other ppl WHY r the links like this, so many fics just...make them stew in their issues for angst and not trust the others and be incredibly insecure about the other heros(which is lu canon for at least hyrule and wind i think?) and like ok that is definitely fine for 1 link but why r they all like this in the games link is clearly not like that he wouldn't be this closed off and wouldn't hesitate so much like my dude he just inserts himself into other ppl's lives to make them better than leaves he wouldn't pussyfoot around other heros like what

also another major issue is the mergings just lead to certain characterizations or important backstory for certain links(FOUR. LEGEND.) being completely erased and the nuance of their journeys lost like when u merge links who r canonically 100s of years apart not just in the timeline but in the GAMES? yeah u lose things that make that link special

also bc u mentioned wind waker i found it kinda fucked up that wind waker link was delegated to The Kid TM even tho his entire journey was about moving on from the past to a brighter future and he took on the mantle left behind by the hero of time on his own volition and did what Time COULDN'T do which is kill Ganon but he is constantly underestimated and made into the Kid Who Wants Approval trope specifically around Time which sucks ass ngl he deserves to be an equal him still being a kid while the others got to grow up, including Four who's first journey arguably would have been a better fit for this archtype of wide eyed kid, is just side lining one of the most interesting links especially considering most of the other links were YOUNGER than him when they started

this is all general stuff plus 1 of my issues w/ Wind bc ur a Wind Waker fan bc as a Spirit Track fan i feel a kinship, im gonna make another post for specifically each link breaking down my issues w/ how they r portrayed later bc rn it is 8am and i ment to just say haha ty for the permission but then my inner ranter came out i am INCAPABLE of being normal about lu especially after i actually experienced zelda games bc lu was my FIRST introduction to zelda outside of smash bros lol

toast if u r reading this say rip to ur dms bc i am once more gonna talk to u about a comic for a videogame franchise u only know about due to my rambles and forcing u at gunpoint to learn about link...godspeed comrade

[yuukei-yikes]

What would happen in an AU where Haruka's and Takane's abilities were swapped? They entered the daze at about the same time and they both had similar wishes. I don't think Takane would have a Konoha incident and Haruka would be more open with Shintaro (assuming that's who he ran into) but beyond that: ???. (You can assume shintaro ends up okay and focus just on Harutaka moments in this AU)

I'VE DRAWN THIS BEFORE its pretty old art but still funny (neet ayano was so fucking funny to me) i remember when i drew that i was thinking the way to swap haruka and takane's roles relies a lot on the daze messing up real bad in a hilarious way. bc haruka and takanes wishes ARE kinda similar, it kinda revolves around them being like I DONT WANNA BE FUCKING SICK!!!!!! like haruka in a body that can't sleep or eat is literally his worst nightmare but hey u wont die in this body lol!!! and takane wouldn't care particularly abt being super strong but maybe awakening can apply never sleeping or something. and like u said maybe takane wouldnt have a konoha incident... like, the reason haruka cant be in his body is bc his personality is too soft for awakening? so he's sorta rejected? but takane would have a strong personality for it right?? so yeah ig she'd be aware.

but aware takane with awakening eyes kinda misses the point to meee like things would be over so fast like that. takane with a super op power would get the fuck out of kenjirous house and go to shintaro and end up finding haruka anyway. and theyd reunite fast and theres no angst like that...where would be the fun in that. and that would be a huge pain in the ass for clearing, that would rly mess up its plans. so maybe it manages to do something to make takane take the backseat in her body and let awakening drive like it does in haruka's, that way we also get konoha!! tho ig in this au awakenings name would be ene right?? lol thats so weird. but yeah bro AWARE takane with awakening?? bitch would be unstoppable clearing would not be able to handle this 😭ok lets not get into the nitty gritties lollll sory everytime i get an ask i literally get so sidetracked im sorry OK UM SO lets go by awakening is driving takanes body hc bc thats more fun i also think ene haruka would be more honest to shintaro ?? but like again shit would be over so quick like that. shintaro would be like oh thank god not all 3 are dead haruka is right here. so maybe haruka doesnt say anything at first bc shintaro looks A MESS and hes like erm. ill tell him when he feels better :) *whole year goes by* but also they'd have a similar dynamic to ene and shintaro not bc haruka wants to annoy him on purpose but its by accident LOL hes also trying to get him out of the room and hes like HEY SHINTARO LETS BUY SOME SUNSCREEN COME ONNN COME ONNN and shintaros like GET OUT OF THE SCREENNNNNNNNN also haruka abt not finding any record of him and takane disappearing/existing he'd be like o shit. okay maybe i dont tell shintaro bc am i even real u told me to focus on harutaka and i didnt even talk abt it erm erm erm haruka would probably be obsessed with hanging out with takane and wouldnt do the WOW MR FAKE thing like ene did bc hes convinced takane must be there somewhere but he grows increasingly frustrated at awakening LOL

[dandelion-eyelashes-sf]

Yeah but you cant use the “you owe ppl shit” when you have unspoken expectations that i never agreed to tf

Like this sucks, when ppl want something of you / from you that you already said and showed you cant give them

Like why tf were we friends then- if u wanted more?????? Just fuckin leave me alone

I still dont think you’re entitled, even tho my friends do

I think youre hurt and sad and angry and think that you are right/correct

Half a year may be long to you but its not to me

And also, we werent besties like that, where i would share deeply about my internal gpings on. You noticed and didnt think: hm, if its not reciprocated, then that means it wont be reciprocated. Instead you kept on probing. Like wtf u think u were gonna find??

I want to be rid of this anger and frustration— literally taking up so much mental space and energy

And it was all so unexpected cuz i thought we were good, i thought we were friends, i thought we were casual

I trusted you to be truthful about that and now youre hurt cuz u lied?

Even if i did think you were entitled, why would that be so bad?

It seems like ur un-happy and unsatisfied with anything i gave, so why tf were u here, then???

I accepted you as the person you are and i tried to accommodate your communication style

But you dont give me the same understanding when i goof and dont answer an invitation, like youre not my only friend and youre not my priority?????????? When did i say you were? When did i show you in my actions that you were????????

It was lopsided cuz you were more available, but when did i agree to be the same level of available? It was lopsided cuz i worked to understand you and accept, and you didnt.

What the fuck did u even like about me if all you wanted was me to do more, give more, reciprocate the ways you were showing attention?????

And then you say you got co-dependent tendencies. Like bro work on that shit and dont make it my problem.

Ive been tryna be compassionate and not dismiss your feeling but when i express mine you get all mad and hurt????

Just not the same and i dont wanna be friends no more. Idk if ur gonna wantto anyway. Which if u dont, then good- it saves us an awkward conversation where u want a friendship and i dont.

God cant do nothin w scorpios tf lol

Ok i think im good i think im ready to release this shit cuz its FUCKING RIDICULOUS

Fuccccck lol how did i end up here? Blind-sighted by this bullshit.

Anyway anyway i release it all (it may come back but itll be less and less each time)

Im frustrated and thats ok cuz it dont make sense

Im angry cuz I ACTUALLY WAS CONSISTENTLY SHOWING WHO AND HOW I AM AND WHAT I WANTED and she ignored that shit

I angry and hurt cuz i thought i had a friend but turns out she wanted more from me

And aint that typical - how do i avoid this situation in the future?

Im sad cuz it was fun while it lasted but not so sad to miss it or want it back

But as i reflect on my other friends who love me and know me and accept me and remind who i am and remind me im loved as i am, i realize that this friendship was never gonna end up at that level

Not with her pining for something that would never come, not with her ignoring my words about being casual, not her ignoring what tf i show her when i wasnt as available as her in any sense off the word, not with her tryna get me to open up and then asking if she makes me anxious and how can she make me more comfortable? Girl pls wake up to reality

The friends I instantly clicked with and the friends who grew into what we are , both types of friendships were borne out of mutual understanding and acceptance of who we are. Safety came from experience and time and showing up for each other/ letting each other in. Idk , you cant force that.

Anyway, this situation sucks but ive made up my mind that im outtie and im not gonna engage with anymore nonsense.

[livecharliereaction]

Bye tsumihoroboshi

thats all for tsumihoroboshi chapter ZAMN. omfg i did cry i cant lie at that big battle on the rooftop i did i did i did.. It just hits a litte close to home friendship and all that... I love my friends so mach i get everything theyre feeling u know... AND the delusions of rena what a crazy writing style i dont think ill get over it like ever. urgh. Well the final tip almost wanted me to consider that "ooh maybe she was right!" but honestly my takeaways from it are juts 1. disaster happens regardless no matter how the events go otherwise 2. rika was murdered? Thats pretty weird 3. BUT theres hope liek she said BECAUSE: keiichi rememberd something from "another world" (i know a timeloop when i see one. its def a timeloop. Hells yeah) 4. the scrapbooks do hvae some evil spell or something takano i am onto you its weird anyway she shows up at such times and all.. Idk if shes the #MAIN VILLAIN DEMON OMG but shes Something.

Rena i love you thank you for solidifying your place as my favorite good time. argh every chapter so far is better than the one before it goes for this one too it does it does... Which is amazing implications for next ones... Lets hope they keep it up...

And keiichi i cant lie i do love you. I love you i love you i love you. Ughh. If i was still 16 hed have a big chance at going to that kinlist. But hes so gross so i wouldnt actually have added him then either!!! im unable to kin these days because EVERY GOOD CHARACTER EVER has Some Traits I Can Relate To Myself becuase i dont know something something human emotion something i am just like everyone else and everyone is just like me in the end and i love it. But yeah keiichi love the guy hes so #Power of Friendship #Protagonist. Im mentioning this cos i loved the girls from the start and still do but keiichi had to prove himself a little...

Yeah im curious about satoko now too i dont think i paid her enough mind i sort of ended up assuming shes #Normal but just super close to rika obviously but that one line about her being older. I couldnt tell yet if its Haha satokos body is older and rikas being funny! OR Omg satoko some immortal or something too woww! but yeah. I wouldnt think she is it doesnt seem that way at all BUT u never know w this fuckass series..ou ou ou ou ou

Mion i love you the girl that you are. Rena you are everything and more. Rika how have you managed to stay mysterious ive been here for like over 30 hours total for sure maybe even 40. But hmm

if its a timeloop i still cant tell what its about. id say rikas in charge (wants to keep giving this world a chance) n takano is with the antagonistic forces But how does it work exactly? If rikas the one "looping the time" directly it doesnt really compute unless she can do it from the afterlife. I dont konw.

And Omfg i hate this series because i STILL believe satoshi will show up one day. Even though it seems impossible now. But i liked him n shion so much dude i love shion so satoshi HAS TO come back for her. Urgh urgh urgh

But yeah i fr didnt think keiichi would be able to break renas delusion even for such a long moment But he pulled it off. Shes really cool i love her. I love her i love her i love her. UGHHH. Everything and more. and i said it alr but ill say it again the portrayal of her delusional state is SO personal to me i get her i get her i DO so good... Urghh. Ok. Thank u charhigurashi6 i have to check how many games the bundle i bought still has hmm

ok these 3 i own but havent installed lets see The first one here is um well i dont know that girl i havent seen her which is concerning! I feel like i mightve seen a sprite (in the og style that i read with) but thats kinda it. I recall seeing a name somewhere too shes a furude i think but not too sure Im always frustrated when i see a spoiler like that but then it never makes me any more knowledgeable about anything so so far its fine #LOL. proably has to do with the demon stuff tho...

takano in the middle one right takano you are so weird and offputting. Damn maybe she IS the big bad afterall

last one aww rika But yeah thats. I dont know its at least 5 hrs each but i think i spent like 10+ hrs on meakashi so it could possibly be up to like what. 15 even 20? per game. At least 15 hours left though.. Idt theres anything outside of the bundle after this its either higu anime time or umineko time ill see what kinda time i have then (i can probably watch the anime while multitasking i dont really care so much but umineko i want to be TUNED. IN.)

yay exciting ok thank u charhigurashi6 best chapter so far loved it love u rena love u everyone ok gn

[korattata]

I wish i knew how to actually talk to people and not just read a message and then feel dread about the fact that i'm expected to reply even tho i do want to do that. I would like to reply.

I'll give myself credit that i've gotten better at not taking more than a day or two to reply to my very close friends circle but like. What about when i talk to someone else.

I would like to talk to more than a very small handful of people. I have found out that i DO like talking to people actually. I just. Completely hit a wall and cannot formulate a reply. Even if i'm happy about the fact that i'm being talked to just... Nothing sticks to my brain where i can actually say something

I want soooo badly to ask a few people... Idk. I dont understand what the line of actually being friends with someone is. So i think even without this issue i wouldnt be able to tell people "hey i think youre cool and like when we have talked a couple of times, are we actually friends i want to talk to you More" bc thats probably just too weird and stilted and. weird again

Is it a part of the probably-adhd? ... If so, will the people talking to me hold out until i can hopefully get medicated for that like, halfway through next year, even tho they dont know this info? ...What if that doesnt work? I honestly dont know what i'm going to do if i'm not able to fix my brain at least a bit to be honest. Not just on this topic but literally everything is So Difficult to do and any time i see someone say they got medicated for adhd and it helped them its both relieving and terrifying bc like. Ok maybe thats hope, or i'm not going to be able to do that and i have to. Live like this forever i guess??? I cant even get tested until next year at the soonest and havent even gone to the setup appointment yet so. Who cares atm i guess.

I know this is definitely partly general anxiety but even when i am completely able to push past that i still am blocked and its so so frustrating.

i would love to actually have the ability to develop a friendship. I guess i kinda screwed myself over some by being very adamant about Not doing that in the past for whatever reason. I know that part was specifically anxiety for sure.

I'll figure it out eventually, i guess. As long as i'm still able to whenever 'eventually' happens.

[automatismoateo]

Gurl. Keep your blessings to yourself! via /r/atheism

Gurl. Keep your blessings to yourself!

Edit 3: I do, and have been, thanking her and moving on. Thank you to the 487 people who keep telling me to do what I already have been doing, you're so helpful.../s If this isn't a place for atheists to vent their frustrations, please tell me where I should be doing that. I was under the impression that this sub is the place.

Edit 2: the amount of people coming at me for "being an asshole" to her, when I said right here that I don't want to be rude, makes me wonder about the reading comprehension of this sub. Y'all are coming for me, hard, defending the religion you don't believe in? For who? Some of you are really showing your ass. Especially this particular flavor of hypocrite that is being really rude to me while telling me to not be an asshole to this lady when I haven't been rude to the lady. I'm not going to be rude to the lady. I fully understand she's "just trying to be nice". I just thought I could get some commiseration from like-minded people, but silly me, this is reddit, after all. (Either that or there's a full infiltration of angry religious people here) I am not the "angry atheist" so many of you are worried about, but perhaps you should check your mirror. I live in Mormon country, and I get tired of being bombarded with religion constantly. Sorry, my bad.

There's a new lady at my local gas station, and every time we go inside to pay with cash, she always vigorously says, "God bless you" and/or "have a blessed day." It makes me want to not even go to that gas station anymore but in this economy... She's very nice and much faster than the elderly people who also work there. Idk it just gives me the ick.

Like when people say "ill pray for you," eh, no thanks. Save your prayers for someone who needs them. I don't.. I'd really rather you didn't.

I can brush it off when people say "bless you" when I sneeze because what else do you say? I dont say it myself, but it also feels awkward to say nothing?

This feels more invasive than that. I don't want your blessing. Or your sky daddy's. Maybe I should ask her, "Which God, tho?" I'd take a blessing from Thor, Thoth, Aphrodite (not that I believe in them any more than the ol' 'me, myself, and I' trio).

I wish I could think up something witty but not rude to offer her back. I still have to buy gas there, after all.

Edit: ok, some of you guys are taking my mild rant way too seriously. You also clearly don't think modern Christianity is the absolute scourge it is, and it shows. I'm not going to make a pentagram on the floor and summon a demon to the gas station because she dared to bless me, sheesh!

Submitted June 28, 2023 at 02:19PM by mrskmh08 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/iOw46xC)