#i am so confused and ready to suffer this sunday

[new-haven-psych-ward]

Geats 31 Spoilers

Tycoon:

Buffa: aight, bet

[anotherkindofloveletters]

Drive my car

Hi flowers! So after this wild race today and George's win I felt like updating our story also to celebrate its first win (even if he's not exactly our hero over here!). Did you watch the race? I really enjoyed it even if - as a tifosi - have suffered quite a lot, but I am very happy for chili. But anyway hope you like this one and thanks for all the kind notes and requesting to be in the tag list, I'd never expect that. tw: not proof read, swearing, and some dickheads journalists if you find other stuff please tell me and I will write it. Sorry for my english, but it's not my first language.

taglist: @honethatty12 @pleasantducktimetravel

Second chapter

Chapter 3 - See you again

Thursday

Y/n gets to the paddock and she is really nervous for her first official day as a driver and her first press conference. “You’re so safe, you’re doing press with Lewis and Sebastian, they’re the most welcoming.” her assistant Jessie tries to make her relax “Yes, I am just with the two biggest F1 legends, what could go wrong.” She answers shaking a bit. As soon as she gets off the car many fans and photographers stop her from entering “Thank you guys” she smiles shyly answering to everyone and signing some autographs until she hears a familiar voice from behind “Sooner or later you should enter you know?” she turns around and smiles blushing a bit seeing George looking at her from his height “Well, I guess so” “C’mon or you’ll never make it” he laughs inviting her to follow him waving fans and entering the paddock eventually. “Thank you, I couldn’t say no to them.” she giggles “Don’t worry” says him winking at her before rushing to the Mercedes hospitality, leaving her standing in the middle of the paddock with the dumbest smile.

Y/n finally manages to get to herself to her first press conference where she is interviewed with Lewis, Sebastian, Esteban and Daniel, she already met them at the Gala, so at least she didn’t have to introduce herself to them. The questions start and of course a big part of the argument is y/n being a girl “I feel like we shouldn’t be this surprised, there are many good female drivers and we should make it easier for them to get where she got. She is a great driver and I’m looking forward to compete against her.” answers Lewis to the question on the subject “I completely agree with Lewis, you should be asking more about her skills and care less about her sex” adds Sebastian, y/n smiles at them and thanking them with a little head bow and she finally gets to speak about her car and experience until that moment.

“I did it!” she says hugging Yuki happily right after the press conference “Calm down, it’s just the conference” he laughs knowing that in reality it was huge for her “I feel so ready for it all after this first big step.” She says looking at her engineers and Yuki “You go girl." he says chuckiling looking at her giggling aroun the hospitality.

Race day

Practices went really well and she got the opportunity to demonstrate her driving skills right away getting some really good sectors and everyone is super happy with her performance expecting a lot for the first race. Despite all these positive aspects of these first days, George behaved really weirdly with her, flirting and ignoring her continuously making her feel a bit bad about herself “Maybe it’s because I’m not glammed up enough – maybe I misunderstood it all” were few of the things she said to Yuki making him desperate to punch George’s face so badly.

The night before the race she spent it perfecting the cookies she baked the day before for their newest cookies tradition that was going to start on Sunday and so it did. “Are you ready?” she says to Yuki taking out the glass jar with peanut butter chocolate cookies “What are you doing?” asks Pierre confused looking at them just outside the Alphatauri hospitality “Our newest tradition” answers Yuki “Yes, I bake cookies before every race and we eat one before going on the grid. It’s open to everyone.” she smiles blushing a bit explaining to Pierre their tradition “Oh you made these? Well I have to then.” he smiles taking one, they all cheers and eat the cookies. “You’re the queen of cookies, y/n I can’t, I will gain 300 hundred kilos.” says Yuki with his mouth full “So you’re not only a good driver, but you can cook too.” “I guess I demonstrate to Checo that I can be both on the grid and in the kitchen” they all start laughing. Pierre realizes that maybe Yuki was right saying that she has to be discovered, he wouldn’t imagine her being this funny and a great cook too.

The tradition seems to work as each Yuki, y/n and Pierre gets a few points. [So y/n, you’re p6. Really good race, really good job. Points at the first one. Amazing!] hearing that radio message y/n gets teary eyes, proud of herself and of the whole team as well and as soon as she gets off the car she hugs with Yuki celebrating “Unbelievable, you were so so good.” Even Pierre after the race looks in her directiong smiling at her aknowledging her first great result.

At the press after the race all the drivers compliments y/n for her first points ever and she feels really lucky and a bit overwhelmed. As soon as she gets out of the press conference she meets George that doesn't even look at her and immediately goes to the press area. She feels a bit sad about it, but she tries to think that maybe it's because he’s in a rush. “Hey, what’s the sad face? After the race you did you’re not allowed” hearing the french accent and seeing Pierre in front of her, she smiles blushing “Pierre, thank you. You’re so kind.” He puts a hand around her shoulder “You should be celebrating not frowning.” she smiles shrugging her shoulders a bit “I guess so, but my celebrating is baking a cake and watch a movie on the sofa with my cat., not having one thousands interview about how being a girl getting point on my first race should be written on history books.” they both laugh and Yuki joins them chatting and deciding what they should have for dinner.

Okay! So that's it for today. I hope you like it and can't wait for you all to let me know what you think about and if you have any ideas. Let me know and have an amazing day or night! ❀ 

Fourth Chapter

[eternity-death]

Buddy, chum, my friend, can I just say, 2.1 must've given me the most headaches and heartbreaks ever??

I was so stressed, depressed and confused by everything that went down. What the hell is Gallagher's deal? Is Sunday truly dead?

At least Sam and Firefly being one in the same is confirmed but everything else? I'm just flabbergasted and suffering.

2.2 and onwards better give me my answers because I'm in SHAMBLES.

Sunday is not dead gang!!! Don’t worry. I know I was screaming and crying over it but I’m just being dramatic, he isn’t actually dead.

I do NOTTT thing Gallagher is a human. I’m not sure what he is tbh. Whatever he is, he’s very scary.

Sam and Firefly— I regularly keep up with leaks so I’ve known about this for a while. I was kind of hoping that Sam would be a sentient mech (because with the way Blade described them I thought it was a Pinocchio situation. “Sam craves life”— I thought they were trying to become human or smthn)

2.2 I am also up-to-date with leak wise. Y’all aren’t ready!!! It’s an entire rollercoaster.

[i-jxta]

July 2, 2023 | Sunday | 12:34AM

This entry is going to be super different from the things I usually write here because it's a lot more positive than usual. Actually, it's the first positive entry I've ever written here. It's only been 8 days since my last entry but I've done a lot of thinking since then, I've faced a lot of facts. I've known for a while now, but it's a hard fact to accept. The fact that my mom emotionally abused me my entire life. I haven't fully come to understand the abuse she's put me through so I can't go into detail. I know she only loves me conditionally, if I changed my hair, got a tattoo, got a piercing, came home later than the time she expects me home, told her I was bisexual, or told her anything that contradicts the version of me she has spent so much time imagining, even before I was born she'd stop loving me. This is a good thing. The fact that I've come to understand that I experienced a weird, confusing, and abusive childhood. I haven't been able to develop at all as a person, I am merely an extension of my mother. Now, that I've realized this though I can start developing who I am without my mom's judgment. Be who I am without fearing whether mom is going to have a tantrum.

I have also become interested in attachment styles and I began researching mine, which is an anxious attachment style. I've decided I don't want to keep myself in a loop of pain and suffering. If you look back at all my entries you'll see how repetitive they are. Feeling the same thing over and over again and not doing anything about it. Maybe, I wasn't ready back then and I'm not upset at myself for not choosing to heal sooner. In fact, it was probably best I stayed in that mindset at the time to protect myself. Things are different now because I am no longer a child. I can take care of myself in better ways. With BPD, I regress into this child-like state of mind anytime I feel a negative emotion. If someone pisses me off, I either have an outburst, try to hurt their feelings, or go silent. I can't talk about the way I feel because I don't feel safe doing so, I don't have the words to explain how much pain I am in or how much you just pissed me off. I just don't want to feel that way anymore. I don't like having BPD, I want it to go away. I want to live and feel some fucking peace and joy LOL.

I heard something today that got me thinking. It was "Evidence doesn't create beliefs. Beliefs create your evidence" and basically it has to do with the subconscious mind and I can't possibly explain that in a way that'll make sense right now. But it basically means that if you believe something like "I'm ugly and unloveable" you will experience things that will confirm that you're ugly and unloveable. That's what you're telling yourself, so why would you experience the opposite? Even if you did you wouldn't notice, or you wouldn't believe it. For example, I had a deep issue with not understanding things. If I didn't understand something immediately then I must be stupid or untalented. Even if someone's intentions were not to make me feel stupid, I'd feel stupid. That is my perception and belief. I challenged myself and asked myself why? Why does me not understanding something = I am stupid? Who taught me that? Who told me that? When I was learning how to write (as a little baby child) my sister got super mad at me for not knowing how to write the letter B. I saw that frustration and anger and her and thought to myself that it was bad to not understand. If I didn't understand quick enough then people would get mad at me, I'd be stupid, I'd be a bad person.

What makes it so bad though? A willingness to understand is a willingness to learn. Some things I understand quickly and I'm a natural at. Other things take me a little more time to understand and why is that such a bad thing? I understand some things and some things I don't, but that doesn't change the fact that I am intelligent. It's so important to have some sort of compassion for yourself. I'm so incredibly hard on myself and I deserve to treat myself with kindness. That's what'd I'd want from other people, so I need to be kind to myself first. When you hate yourself, it is easy to hate everyone else as well. I've gotten mad at a couple of people for not being fast learners. Why? because I was taught that was a bad thing. I hated myself for not always being a fast learner, so I hated other people for not being fast learners. It's one less thing I have to be upset about.

God does it feel good to let SOMETHING go.

[muffindaddystyles]

Summary: Y/N's feeling icky about her body, but Harry loves her to bits and pieces, through thick and thin, in health and sick — and he always waits for her to come back to him.

TW: Body dysmorphia.

Y/N's healthy.

All she sucks in is having a sane sleeping schedule due to her UNI otherwise she eats natural goodies, cook and bake home because it comforts her more that way and she works out every evening to stay fit.

Sometimes though, she’s lazy and lacks behind which’s proper humane but deep down it effects her and her mental health more than she admits and she isn’t able to start over again – it mostly happens after her periods.

Harry loves her the way she’s.

Even if she’s clumsy, bumbling, procrastinating, overly enthusiastic to mend her life at 3 am, snotty and sloth-y in her periods, confident and positive around people, kind and loving whenever she comes to meet him, whiny and cuddly when she’s sick, jealous and grumpy with his attention not on her —- he loves her in every way possible, to rivers and to sea his love could never stutter for her ever.

He loves how she’s not overly toned, having soft squishy spots which Harry undeniably wants to admire and kiss shamelessly amount of times -- like -- her plummy pretty thighs that Harry likes to nestle his head in-between making her wriggle and squirm under his grasp, her overly cute tummy that Harry dies to pepper sweet adoring kisses and petal his lips round her belly button, everytime they’re cuddled up his bicep’s always looped her around her tummy to feel it rising up and down in calm rhythm, and oh! her tender titties, they’re actually his favourite babies and he loves to fondle them in his big calloused palms brushing his thumb over the sensitive perky nub and basks in the glittery whimpery mewls of hers.

He loves that she’s curvy and gives zero fucks if she’s skinny or not.

He thinks his baby’s perfect.

So perfect he actually feels the bubbling of devotion and affection filling to the brim of his heart’s chambers and leaking out and upon his ribs tickling him.

Y/N's his person and he worships her with his whole heart.

From some days though, she’s feeling devastatingly insecure about all her things Harry’s in love with and she has no-control over it how much she tries.

Harry’s observing that all with optimism (one of his great quality's that like a lion sly about his prey, he keeps an eye on everything but pretends otherwise). He has his intense gaze fixed on her when she’s taking a look of herself in the mirror for rather too long, running her hands down her body and practically shuddering.

He glances from over his laptop and drops everything he's doing watching her go monkies, sweating buckets and over exercising than her usual time.

He brings her closer and infront of him, pressing her to his chest and coiling his forearm around her shoulders whining a, “Baby..!” when they were brushing their teeth and despite of standing beside him and teasing him occasionally like she usually does she stuffs her face into the crest of his back and hides herself there to have minimal contact with her reflection in the mirror.

Her body dysmorphia spiking dangerously high.

“Deprived me of your cuddles. woke me up so early, granny.” She huffs lying through her teeth and how much his embrace was strong enough to keep her in place she still managed to wiggle out taking her previous cosy position, but he could feel her muscles tensing and an awkward silence falling over them.

He didn’t pry much. He wants to give her as much space as she requires to come back to him hale and hearty, as she always does and whatever happens he never forgets to remind her how much he loves her every night.

..

They were watching rom-coms on Netflix back to back with her curled up into his side with a spongy white wool knitted blanket thrown over them and his cheek was smashed atop her head popping in peanuts every now and then when out of certain she spoke pointing at the actress, “You know she got her ribs removed to get that shrinky waist.” Harry frowned at that. His face itching into disbelief and concern under the bouncing glow of telly.

He affixes his gaze down at her trying to read what’s cooking up in that genius brain of her's which isn’t being very rational and genius right now, they immediately turns soft and caring when she blinks up at him purely.

She squeaks, nose crashing against his collarbones when he scooches her up in his lap grabbing onto her knees to make her straddle his torso and he grumbles cutely when she tries not put all of her weight on him and doesn’t melts into him as his sweet lovie would used to do receiving a smack on her bum on his end.

He’s afraid that an evil version of her chomped onto his dear baby alive.

“Nothing else matters if all ye’ organs are packed safely and healthily inside you,” He tells her brushing loose frays of her hair behind her earlobe and rubs his thumb in gentle strokes over her treacly pulsing point, “Was just telling you ...” She mumbles, dotting touches on his knuckles and playing with his bare cold fingers.

It’s true, she was rambling out facts about the movie and cast out of habit because no-way she’d ever go through any surgeries to change herself to become someone she isn’t.

“Swear!” She yawps out in convincing high pitch when Harry squints down at her with his lips scrunched, one eye twitching in doing so.

“Alrighty. I believe you.” He cradles her cheeks in his palms and brings her mighty close to him to peck her cupid bow, then her bottom lip and the corners of her smiling mouth to suckle generous amount of whines from her and then kisses her lovingly – hands streaming down her spine and then resting atop her dip.

He thought she was ready to come back to him, to share her problem with him and Harry really wanted to bug in, to not let her fight her battle alone and take half of her hardships from her fretting self but guess not.

They were about to have sex when panic seeped in Y/N's eyes and her cheeks blazed up in that of embarrassment as she rushed to switch off the lamps that were the only source of light in their room.

“Moppet.” Harry sighed, knowing exactly what’s happening and she isn’t as foxy in covering it up as she’s thinking herself to be.

“Why wouldn’t y'want me t'see gorgeous self of yours?” His tone punctured and hurt, feeling useless for not knowing how to cheer her up and break her worries down. He smoothens his hands behind her to lock his arm around her waist, fingertips making grape sized indents into the flesh of her hip-bone as she streaks the tip of her nose up and down the crook of his neck, murmuring meekly against his salty skin while he hugs her warmly.

“’M just feelin’ shy.” He giggles at her response puckering his lips against her hairline to pet tiny, tiny kisses there as she fists her hands against his taught chest.

“Not somethin’ I haven’t seen before, love bug.” He blows raspberries against the underside of her jaw and their mouths meet into a messy, giggling, teeth clanking kiss when she sinks into pillows allowing him to cocoon her in his heat.

“I love you, Y/N. No matter what.”

.

The last dam breaker for them was this little get together at Sarah and Mitch's baby shower.

She matched her outfit with Harry. Cute lavender coloured little sweater blouse that was familiar to the baggy baby yarn cardigan Harry was wearing, it accentuated her curves and her bosom so prettily -- her midriff peeking from where the buttons weren’t closed and their jeans were painted (they did it themselves one Sunday when it was extra boring and inactive).

Y/N felt uncomfortable in her own clothes. A bitterness spreading inside her for herself and all she wanted was to escape away from her own skin.

She knows she’s loved and welcomed and cherished by her friends and family and the love of her life, most importantly. Then why was she feeling so icky about herself? Why everything's draining her and exhausting her?

Harry obviously could see through the gloomy tenebrous energy overshadowing her as he stood in the corner of the room grabbing the sorbet he poured in two glasses for them.

A sour guzzle of tears choking his throat and his limbs weakening letting the painful heartbreak seep into him when he watches her being fidgety and fiddling with the loops of her jeans, tugging her blouse every passing second and he’s sniffling a hiccup deep in his lungs when she shrinks into herself in dejection staring out of the window without any purpose.

Harry feels awful to startle her when he plops down beside her, coodling her closer to himself and tucks her head beneath his chin subtly and cups his palm under her jaw to make her look in eyes his eyes.

“Hi beautiful,” His tone had a saddening waver in it and his irises mossed bleak when Y/N remains unresponsive, zoning in and out of her own head feeling herself prisoned into her own invasive thoughts.

“You w'na go home darling?” He gives her a wet smile clearing his throat and blinking the stubborn moisture in his eyes away when Y/N nodded without any vivid expression.

All the way back home he denounced himself of not making her feel loved enough, to not to pest her soon about what she’s feeling and letting her slide deeper into the dark hole.

He thinks he’s a piece of shit.

.

Y/N wanted to dig the earth with her own nails and hide into it and never show her face again, she was overly ashamed of herself.

His hand was holding onto hers tightly, never letting it go as he led them through the hallway and his head perked up in confusion when she stopped them abruptly and lunged to wrap herself around him like he’s the last silver of her hope and the reason to live.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry.” There comes the first sob after ages of suffering and bottling it all in, not shocked at all he was expecting it to happen. Gently he picks her up and wraps her legs around him, keeping his support firm under her bum as she cried into his soft white t-shirt.

Carefully he sits them on the edge of the bed and tries to pry her soaky flushed face in his cradle but she refuses to show him, clutching onto his cardigan and whimpering brokenly.

“I just feel so disgusting,” Her sob scratches out of her throat and for a second he thought he heard her wrong, that her feeble crying’s playing some kind of a sick game with his heart.

“Harry do something I don’t want to feel disgusting.” But, when she pleaded helplessly a cold shiver settled in his bone marrow spreading an agonising burn in his stomach.

Gently he stirs her away from his chest to look at her, meeting their foreheads together while his thumb wiped her tears away and smoothed over her wabbly lips in profound tenderness.

“My beloved,” He whispers fondling his nose against hers and her eyes flutters into realm of calms, shaky breath falling over his lips as he brings her trembling fingertips towards them and pecks them feverishly.

“The love of me life, me heart.” He continues, “Shhh. Shh baby ‘s okay to cry but don’t tire y'self.” He hushes her when she whimpers loudly at his coy affirmation.

“I’m here with you, waiting f'you, watching y’goin’ through a stony path so I could be there to hold you whenever you trip –-,” He pets her hair, cupping the back of her neck to plant his lips bitten red from worry to her puffy damp eyelids and Y/N becomes a gooey lax of candle that’s been burning for tiring amount and finally her lover came to blew the agonising flame away putting her to peace as he coos snuggling her in his cordial embrace, “You’ve been so strong to yourself and ‘m so proud of me baby.”

“I’m always here. Never away from you, always right by y'side.” His palms bending around her ribs to smush her as intimately close as possible.

“How d'ya want your huggies babylove?” He simpers down at her darlingly, huffing out in relief seeing her relaxing -- her shoulders sinking from him massaging the knots in them.

“Tight.” She mumbles timidly. The gleam in her glossy eyes returning when Harry hugs her as she wished, squishing her in right places and not suffocating her at all – their breaths in sync chests flushed against eachother.

“I love you cuddly, and care f’you.” He kisses her on lips then goes to hug her right back.

“I love you too, Har. Thank you.” She sniffs in his woodsy scent grazing her touch up and down his back, smooching a soft kiss at his cheek.

[cosmiclatte28]

Sunny day (Renjun x reader)

a/n : quick oneshot because I wanted to enjoy the nice sunny weather more but can’t.. so here’s a oneshot for you.

Warning : ending is suggestive but you can read until the end of the fluff part. 

Comfort, fluff, flirt (?), suggestive ending! 

side character : Jaemin, Dream is frat boys and Renjun is your boyfriend.

enjoy!

The mundane elevator rises as you lean your heavy shoulder to the wall and taking a breather from the long walk you had from your last class. It’s almost the weekends and you’re motivated to finish your homework and chapter readings before the weekend. Why? Well so you can sleep through Saturday and Sunday! You glance when the elevator dings and the door slowly opens.

You nod your head to the other passenger riding the lift with you and slowly dragging your heavy legs to your room. You smile upon seeing your tidy room which you strictly tried to keep tidy!

With a rush you take off your shoes, hang your jacket and toss your bag to one of the chairs available. You wash your hands and skip to change your tight pants into loose comfortable ones. A sigh leaves your lips when you squint to the window that lets in the bright spring sun into your room. What a beautiful day to be outside yet here you are, inside your room already turning on your laptop because you have to finish works. Not that you don’t want to enjoy the sun, no it’s because you know if youre out there you’ll probably be laying around on the grass toasting your body and forgetting time and work. So, for your goodness you stay inside.

Before you can open your task, a ring comes to your phone. Curious you pick it up and frown when you notice it’s your boyfriend calling. Weird? He said he will be busy today in the lab for his final research, he even told you to not call or text him for he wont have the time to reply.

“Yes?” you pick up the call with a question.

“Oh hey babe, just wanna know where are you right now?” his voice sounds calm from the other side.

You take a seat and lean back “Um in my room? Why? Do you need anything?”

He chuckles “Can’t I call my baby? The weather is pretty outside, why are you in your room?”

You sigh “Because Renjun, two of my professors decided to give me 2 chapters worth of quizzes and homework, in the beginning of the term! God bless me.” You laugh dryly in the end and Renjun just laugh out loud on your suffering.

“Well, welcome to hell. Anyways, I say you try to do your work but make sure you’re feeling this warm weather.” He reminds you again to at least enjoy the sun and not stress or tire yourself out.

You nod “Okay boss. Aren’t you busy? You told me today not to call you but here you are asking me to enjoy the sun.”

He suddenly switches to video call and you can see him sitting on the grass looking so happy with his cheeks Sunkissed. You chew on your lips, annoyed and jealous.

“What? You said you were busy!” you pout.

He giggles “I am, I just take a break here. It’s frustrating in the lab, Jaemin had gone mad.” He whispers though Jaemin looks just fine in the frame next to Renjun.

“Hey Jaem!” you greet when the other man takes a glance to the commotion coming from Renjun’s screen. He only smiles and says hi before sleeping on the grass.

“You could’ve told me  earlier and we can enjoy the sun together.” You look sad, Renjun feels guilty now.

“Oh sorry, it was impulsive. I am sorry, look I’ll take you out on another sunny day. Promise, just let me also finish my lab today and I’ll see you around.” He blows you a kiss and you force a small smile.

“Come Jaem! Let’s finish today’s work and go home.” Renjun says before you say goodbye and turn the call off.

To say that you’re not in the mood to study now is an understatement. You want to go out but you’re also too lazy to change and Renjun’s lab is too far from your dorm. Jaemin had to drive for the sake of their time and legs.

After one glass of water and an encouraging message from Renjun, you start to stick your nose to the ebook and powerpoints.

Three hours pass by and your alarm rings, it’s seven already, time for dinner. Nicely you turn your computer to sleep and before you can decide what to eat, there’s a knock on your door. Without much care you open the door only to see your boyfriend already in front of you with a paper bag on his right hand and a big smile on his face.

“Busy?” he asks as he peaks over your shoulder to see if you have any guest.

You close your door and stand in the hallway with him “What are you doing here? How can you come here?” you look around confused because Renjun did not have the access card to your building.

He grins “I have my way, have you eaten dinner?” he comes back to his first question to which you shake your head “Nope.”

He smiles and takes your hand ‘Great! Lock your door and we’ll eat together” he hurries you “Faster while the sun is still up”

You smile as you take your key and phone plus access card and grab his hand to go down. Once downstairs, he chooses the sunny spot where you can sit with him on a mattress he brought.

“Did you prepare this?” your eyes twinkle when you see the foods he takes out from the bag.

On top of the red and white chequered picnic mat, there’s your favourite comfort food.

Renjun just smile “No, I bought this on the way here thanks to the dining hall and Jaemin’s urgent picnic mat in his car. I seriously don’t know why he has this picnic mat ready, but it’s handy.” He pops open a sparkling apple drink you both like and toast it with you.

“Cheer up honey, you’re going to be alright. We’ll finish your homework. I can stay with you tonight.” He ruffles your hair when you’re enjoying your meal

You smile and nod “Okay, I still have your clothes from last time.”

He pinches your cheek “Cute, okay I’ll stay here then. The boys won’t mind, they’d probably wont notice I am not there.”

You feel sorry but at the same time laugh at him coz that Is so true. There’s no way Dream will realize he’s not there. They’re too busy with ensuring no one burns their hands or the house down.

You watch Renjun from the side, the young man is busy eating his food too. Judging by how he eats, you guess he skipped lunch with Jaemin earlier. Guess their research was that important. Before Renjun can catch you gawking at him, you toss your head away and control the heartbeat that’s thumping in your ribcage.

Why are you nervous? He’s just Renjun your boyfriend. But why can you feel this happy and glad to have him? Like you’re the luckiest person ever?

Maybe you really are the luckiest one to have Renjun. You continue to finish your food and drink.

The weather really feels great today, your day also turns bright just because Renjun decides to come and visit you for small picnic dinner under the sun. You’re glad over simple things like this and you’re always surprised Renjun can never fail to make you feel happy again. He indeed is your ray of sunshine and happiness source.

“Renjun-ah,” you whisper in his ear and he turns his head to face you.

Before he can pull his head back from the close distant, you quickly latch your lips into his and he pull your neck closer to him “Thank you,” you whisper to his lips before crashing in to another kiss where you taste his plumps lips.

Renjun feels butterflies filling his stomach again, it’s not your first kiss but it definitely feels the best. Is it because you’re this happy and he is also happy he made you enjoy the sun for a while or is it because he loves you more and more after seeing more colors of you?

Whatever that is, he’s glad he made this decision and stay with you afterwards.

“So, what homework is this? Can I help?” Renjun walks by your side hand in hand.

You giggle “Sadly it’s not your thing, I got this Renjun. You just have to be my moral support.” You press a kiss to his cheek and he blushes “I can do that.”

“Is your research going well?” it’s your turn now to ask him. He nods “I just need one more test subject.”

You raise your brow “What for?”

He smirks “To test the side effect of my stress of doing this project.”

You soff “You mean you want me right?” you cross your arm over your chest and Renjun clicks his tongue “Do I sound that clear?”

You stick your tongue out and pretend to think “Sort of, but I am booked for my works tonight. Go use the bathroom” you playfully wink and kiss his neck before sitting down on your computer and acting like nothing’s wrong as you continue where you left off.

There on the corner of your eyes you can see Renjun gritting his teeth when you tease him and leave semi-hard.

“Woah you got triggered that easily? Must really be from your hours of lab with Jaemin.” You chuckle and stop when Renjun appears with a chair next to you. You don’t like how calm he looks and you don’t like how his face is so calm as he sits calmly on your right and with his eyes glued to the screen his hand is already roaming around your body tracing arbitrary lines, ghosting your skin with his callouses fingers.

“Now we’ll see who ends up laughing.”  He kisses your ear and breathes into it making you shiver and hard to focus.

end

[buckyownsmylife]

SUNDAY DRABBLES/HEADCANONS

Okay, yes, hello bby I am here to deliver my drabble ideas for your Tom Hardy story Albatross, because holy fuck did I love that story (and you) and I could use some more.

Considering Tom and reader just mated I have two ways this could go

Tom and how he would react to the reader pregnant, either finding out or even just how they have sex. (Lactation/breeding kinks?)

OR

The reader trying to handle and deal with Tom while he is in his rut and how that would go.

Sending you all my love and the best, I CANNOT wait to see what you write!! 🥺💖🥺💖

I love you moooore 

And I love this story so you know what I’m gonna do! I’m gonna write the rut as a drabble and work on a one-shot with the breeding kink + pregnancy 👀 Who can blame me? Anything to make my Autumn happy!

Read my Alpha!Tom Hardy story here. If there’s any scenario from my fics you’d like me to write, requests are always open!

You only noticed something was off when one of your friend’s breath hitched, eyes glued to something over your shoulder. Turning around, you found out that something was your mate, the pack’s Alpha, who had not-so-casually pulled a water bottle from the nearest cooler and dumped it on himself like it was no big deal.

Granted, you were all reunited for a barbecue, a celebration of some sorts, but the gesture was still weird and attracted the curious gaze of many people around, including some you wished would accept the fact that he wasn’t single anymore.

“What is wrong with him?” You frowned, confused about the entire situation until another friend cleared her throat. Following her line of sight, you realized he was sporting what had got to be the most painful hard-on known to history, and you just couldn’t understand how the hell he was managing to pretend nothing was going on.

“His rut is starting,” you whispered as the realization hit you, much to your friends’ amusement. They had connected the dots quickly, but you were only now getting started to pay attention to this part of a wolf’s life. But Tom had helped you through your first heat and now it was time for you to help him.

Your project would be much easier if he wasn’t doing his very best to avoid you, though. Whenever you did manage to sneak up on him, he groaned like he was in pain and your little omega heart hurt from seeing him suffering and having him reject your care.

You couldn’t get him alone as much as you tried, so you did the next best thing: you disappeared.

“Thought you might come around to check up on me…” You teased once the door to your shared bedroom was pushed open, revealing the sight of your sweaty Alpha, chest heaving in desire for you. “I know you’re scared to hurt me, Tom, but I’m already wet and ready for you, Alpha. Let me take care of you.”

[hajimewhore]

Body Swap 👫 (Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader) ➸Rated T, fem!Reader, 1.9k words   ➷✈Part 1, Part 2   ➷Humor, awkwardness involved, if you’re me and I’m you who’s flying the plane?!   ➷Summary: When you woke up at fuck o’clock on a Sunday morning, you cursed yourself for setting an alarm so early on the weekend. Afterwards, you came to realize a few important things: 1. You didn’t set the alarm. 2. Hajime set the alarm. 3. You were in Hajime’s room. 4. Why? 5. Because you ARE Hajime.

A/N: I’m taking forever on this Akaashi fic so I decided to throw this series out here, I hope you enjoy!🥺 Body swap is a trope I find absolutely chaotic and hilarious, so let’s get it! 

♡ ♡ ♡

Releasing a deep sigh, you pull your warm comforter over your face to hide the light peaking in from your blinds.

You're almost positive you closed the blinds and pulled the curtain over the prior night, but the thought doesn't sit much longer as you're lulled back into your slumber.

Hearing your alarm blare, a groan scratches at your throat as you smack your bedside desk, missing your phone entirely. Was your voice always this deep when you first wake up? You chalk it up to morning grogginess, deciding not to dwell on it any longer due to the obnoxious ringtone.

Also, did you even set an alarm? The thought sits at the back of your mind as you fiddle blindly for the sleep button.

It's Sunday, why would you even set one so early? How did you fuck that up?

Sitting upright, you blink blearily. Something feels off.

This isn't even your phone. These aren't your covers either...

The Godzilla posters decorating the walls definitely aren't yours, and this most certainly is not your room.

‘Hajime?’

You think looking around. This is definitely Hajime’s room. You hadn’t been in it in awhile, but it’s unmistakable.

You wrack your brain for the missing details, unfortunately coming to no result or explanation.

Why are you in Hajime’s room?! You didn’t drink last night, so there's no explanation for the missing details in your memory for how you wound up in his sheets. Also, he isn’t here currently.

What the hell?

Shoving the covers aside, you immediately notice your... significantly more masculine figure.

“What the fu—AH!”

Your surprisingly gruff voice startles you. Though, it’s not so much your voice, but Hajime’s.

Stumbling out of bed, nearly tripping over your tired legs, you barrel into Hajime's bathroom to check the mirror.

And despite all the clues handed to you, you're still completely stunned to see who's staring back at you in the mirror.

Your childhood best friend, Iwaizumi Hajime.

Cupping your hand over your mouth to stifle a scream, you pace back to the bedroom.

'It's a dream haha. A hyper realistic, very detailed, dream.'

You attempt to convince yourself as you slip back into the sheets, still warm, cursing your subconscious for forcing this abnormal dream onto your unwitting self.

Squeezing your eyes shut, twisting and turning, willing away your current situation, you realize... nothing is happening.

‘God damnit.’

You don't know who's fault this is, but it's probably Tooru's.

If you're Hajime then, yes you're starting to accept this fucked up situation, that that must mean Hajime is...

Shooting back up to a sitting position, you curse at the ache in your abdominal region. Jesus, how hard did Hajime go at practice?

Also, you can't believe you have Hajime’s abs right now.

Throwing on a random t-shirt and pair of sweats, decidedly not thinking about his abs, and how he was sleeping in briefs only, you jogs downstairs like a mad man.

Completely forgoing shoes, you cross the street and use the hidden key stuck in a potted plant to open the front door.

You're positive by now your parents have left for work, and Tooru is more than likely sleeping in after staying up late last night (no doubt pouring over tournament videos), so there's no chance for interruption from either party.

Not that your parents would question Hajime's presence, but you really aren't in the mood for doing small talk with your own parents while pretending to be Hajime.

You head straight up the stairs for your room, swinging the door wide open.

“That’s... me.... augh, this is so weird!”

You run a hand through your hair, almost startled by the different texture. This will definitely take some getting used to. 

...Also, was Hajime’s hair always this soft?

You physically dash that train of thought from your mind, shaking your head. You remind yourself of the task at hand and your current dilemma, crossing the threshold of your room.

You shuffle over to the bed, climbing on top of the covers.

If that’s Hajime, he’s no doubt gonna freak out over seeing himself wake himself up.

Well, you might as well have fun with it.

“Hajime!”

You shake... yourself, watching your eyes blink open.

“Wha—?”

The physical-You blinks awake, catching eyes with physical-Hajime.

“What the f—”

You cover presumably Hajime's mouth (you're mildly hoping there hasn't been an awful three-way swap between you two and Tooru),

"Hajime! Confess to your sins!"

"I— What the fuck?! I haven't done anything! You're— How are you me! I'm me! Why is my voice—"

Hajime is quite clearly panicking and word vomiting his stress. And while it was a little funny at first, you're starting to feel a bit bad.

"Alright alright, before you go full panic, look in the mirror. I know this seems like bullshit, but it’s me!”

You lean back, gesturing to the mirror above the dresser.

Hajime’s eyes furrow, following your gesture before locking eyes with... Your eyes in the mirror.

But that’s definitely him moving like that, lifting his arms, tilting his head. Or rather, your arms, your head, fuck, this is confusing.

“Why the fuck am I you?” after a momentary pause, “What did Oikawa do?” 

Hajime snarls, and it sounds odd coming from your tone.

“I was hoping you’d know the answer to that. I came here as soon as I woke up.”

“Well, this all better be a really fucked up, disgustingly realistic dream I’m having.”

Hajime sighs, rubbing his eyes.

“I really don’t think it is. I already went through that crisis.”

You pout, and Hajime raps you on the forehead.

“Don’t make faces like that with my face, you’re freaking me out!”

“Me? You have the biggest resting bitch face ever! It’s scary on me!”

His expression softens marginally, after a deep frown.

“Well... I guess we should figure out a way to fix this.”

“How’re we gonna do that!?”

You whine, and Hajime cringes at the way it sounded coming out of his mouth.

“No clue. In the mean time, we should try and keep this a secret and attend classes like normal. Also—”

He cuts himself, frowning deeply.

“What?”

“Shittykawa. Volleyball.”

“Aw fuck!”

You groan, falling back into your sheets at the foot of the bed.

“How are we gonna pull that off?!”

“Just talk to Oikawa like I would, and I’m sure I could... do the same.”

You somehow doubt that will work, and you can plainly see Hajime is going to have an issue conversing with Tooru in your mannerisms. Tooru has known the both of you longer than anyone else, and tends to be perceptive in and out of volleyball. Regardless, you have no choice but to have faith in Hajime's plan, even if it is lacking the finer details.

“As far as volleyball...?”

You tilt your head, chewing at your cheek at the thought of club activities in an entirely different body. Hajime rubs his hair, briefly startled by it being... not his hair.

You bring up very valid concerns. He's the ace of his team, you're a middle blocker for the women's team. Neither of you are especially privy to your respective team's plays or teammates.

“I’m sure we’ll catch on fast. We’ll just have to spend today teaching each other everything we need to know. At least we both know how to play, even if it’s different positions.”

He locks eyes with you slumped in the sheets, trying not to picture it as himself laying back in your bed. Realistically, it is him, but it isn't his mind. But now is not the situation whatsoever to be thinking about the suggestiveness of that image, so he shakes the thoughts from his head.

“Mm, guess you’re right. As far as school goes, our class schedule is pretty similar, so we can just study together. How bout we get ready and practice volleyball at the park?”

The unspoken ‘before Tooru wakes up’ hangs off your lips.

“Alright, I’ll get ready.”

He stands from the bed, before freezing and blushing heavily.

“Absolutely not!”

You match his blush, sitting upright in a flash.

“I-I’ll help you get ready! Just keep your eyes closed!”

You cry out, and Hajime turns his nose with a heavy blush.

“Like I’d open them!”

“Better yet—“

You snatch your uniform tie from your bedside table, wrapping it around Hajime’s eyes.

After tying off the makeshift blindfold, you ponder what transgressions you must have committed in your past life to be here undressing yourself as Hajime.

“God, this is so weird.”

You whine, awkwardly tugging your, Hajime’s, clothes off.

“How do you think I feel?!”

He snaps, but there’s less venom in the tone due to the pitch of your voice. There is a classic Hajime ring to it though, and your mildly impressed he pulled that off with your natural voice.

You make quick work of dressing him in athletic wear, not wanting to suffer in the stifling awkwardness any longer than necessary.

He removes the tie from his eyes, averting his gaze with pink still dusting his features.

“...”

“What now?”

You're worried to hear what he’s contemplating, and you certainly don’t like the sheepish, awkward expression stretching across his features.

“I really have to pee.”

“Haaaajiiimeee! Just hold it!”

You turn scarlet, and he glares.

“I can’t hold it forever! And who knows when we’ll be able to turn back. We might as well break the seal now.”

Ordinarily that kind of wording would be humorous, but you can’t find anything funny about the situation you’re currently in. Hajime stomps towards the bathroom, looking not unlike a toddler throwing a tantrum. 

‘Damn, I really look like that?’

♡ ♡ ♡

“I can’t go with you staring at me!”

Hajime growls out, makeshift blindfold back in place. He has an inkling that he’ll be wearing this a lot now, but he can say for certain he never thought he’d be using a blindfold in this manner.

“You can’t even see me!”

“That’s not the point, I know you’re standing there!”

“Ugh, this is so humiliating! Just get it over with!”

You huff, slamming the door shut and flopping unceremoniously onto your bed, shoving your face into the pillows.

You hear the rush of water, good to know he washes his hands, and Hajime steps out of the bathroom feeling.... new, for lack of a better word.

“You’ll have to deal with it too, you know.”

He turns his nose, drying his hands on his pants, cheeks still hot.

“...I already did.”

You huff, and Hajime cries out with indignation at the revelation.

“What the fuck? And you made such a big deal out of—”

“You’re really packing!”

You stick your tongue out, and Hajime moves to legitimately strangle you and make an attempt at your life, not caring if it’s his own body.

“H-Hajime please, I was kidding, I haven’t gone yet, I swear!”

“Whatever!”

Upon closer inspection, you look way less threatening than Hajime ever did, but you hold back the snicker before Hajime can get too pressed about it.

“Let’s just go back to my place and get ready for practice.”

He huffs, trailing out of your room as you follow, relieved he’s calmed a bit.

Your relief is short lived however, and a panic washes over you when you think about how you'll have to go through Hajime forcing his clothes onto you.  

[Masterlist] [✈Part 1, Part 2]

[7wanderingpaws]

Captain Bucheon 04

Warnings: language, suggestive

Word count: 4.6K

story masterlist masterlist

tags: @wooya1224 @to-all-the-stories-i-love @jennxx3 @realllllrica (let me know if you want to be un/tagged)​

.

<-- Previous - Next -->

Fourth: Painful memories

Baekhyun seemed like a distant dream when you awoke the next day. Everything that happened, starting with your obliviousness to his presence at the field all the way to the moment you slapped him and poured your emotions out; they all felt like they never happened. 

It was your throat, raw and sore from screaming, that indicated last night happened. You woke up tired, feeling your nose clogged and head heavy. As if constantly haunting you, behind closed eyes you saw his; they were looking at you, troubled and wavering. Baekhyun was at your mercy last night. And you were merciless.

One of the painful memories was exceptionally difficult to erase from your mind. Baekhyun's words, that he uttered one year ago in his office, were haunting you and making you believe that things could have been different if you were not lying to him.

I would have waited for you.

Those words were running around in front of your eyes, each word snaking itself in confusing circles creating slight dizziness. Would he have really waited, though?

Groaning, you turned to your other side spotting Yuyeon’s sleeping figure. She wasn’t in the room when you arrived last night, enabling you to cry to your heart's content, which you did. You cried yourself to sleep and now, here was the result. Swollen eyes, headache and a sore throat.

Your phone that was safely tucked under your pillow gave a short vibration, indicating a message. You were waiting for it; it was the last working day after all. Weekend was coming up and you couldn’t wait to get the necessary free time to do your school work and recover from shouting at Byun Baekhyun.

You checked the text message and you planned your day ahead accordingly.

Unknown number

Parcel delivery for the weekend by Sunday 23:30. Bucheon Christian University main gate’s security house.

You frowned, mulling over the destination. Until now, it was always an apartment building and, with the new found information that the messages could have possible secondary destinations encoded, you grew a little uneasy. If issues occurred, would there be another option to deliver the parcel to?

><

There was a hustle going on in Baekhyun’s department that day. Several robberies, crimes and attacks and every officer was preoccupied with suffering victims begging for help and justice.

He also had a couple of cases to deal with, yet he kept zoning out. He barely got a wink of sleep and now he needed to be at his best when he would have much rather stayed home and let himself think through stuff. Not that he didn’t have a whole year to think.

“Knock knock, coffee delivery!” 

Park Chanyeol, the number one detective and also Baekhyun’s close friend, walked in, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. “What’s up Captain?”

“Thanks,” murmured Baekhyun when Chanyeol handed him the mug. “Any news on the case?” he asked, ignoring his friend’s question completely.

Chanyeol crashed on the chair opposite him with a sigh. “Nope,” he replied. “No solid updates. No leads. The attack was sudden and we can’t seem to find a trace of the target.”

Baekhyun sighed. “Two young women have been attacked so far. They were in their mid-twenties.”

“Actually, both of them were in their final year of university,” added Chanyeol with a serious tone.

“That could be a solid lead,” murmured Baekhyun even though his mind was wandering off again. He was quick to zone out on his friend who continued describing the crime scenes, thinking out loud but Baekhyun was already on a completely different page.

You were just seventeen… and he was so heartless. He could vividly remember the actual happenings in his office. He was sitting just where he was seated now, behind his big table full of paperwork and computer while you were becoming smaller and smaller under his smoldering gaze. 

Baekhyun was extremely mad that day. He couldn’t remember the last time he was that mad. Not even the forever annoying Siamsa could annoy him to those bits and he was slowly realizing that it must have been because he liked you much more than he had let himself believe. You betraying his trust, seeing him as a fool and doing stupid stuff behind his back were the exact things he despised in humans. Yet, you did all of them. And one year later, here he was, with you on his mind.

He cringed inwardly when he remembered the harsh words he told you.

You were stupid enough to get caught.

You can be goddamn sure I wouldn’t talk to a KID.

It was a grave mistake to talk to you.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, not even catching Chanyeol abruptly stopping his talk. Baekhyun was way too brutal with you. He groaned out loud when he remembered another horrible thing he said. I’m breaking up with you if it wasn’t obvious enough. Plus, I’m arresting you…

“Are you okay? You really seem out of it today.” Chanyeol seemed concerned and even a little perplexed as Baekhyun rarely showed this kind of behavior in front him, let alone showing it at his workplace. In the office, Baekhyun was the one to be scared of, to be respected and bowed to. This Baekhyun seemed like if Chanyeol pushed him with his finger, he'd crumble.

“I'm fine,” muttered back the captain with a throaty voice.

Chanyeol pursed his lips, unsure how to ask what had been on his mind since he entered the office. Instead of wanting to deal with a serious talk, a cheeky glint lit up in his eyes. “Perhaps you met her again?”

“Her?” Baekhyun frowned with a down-ward tilt on his lips.

Chanyeol wiggled his eyebrows as he stretched on the chair. “You know who!” he took a breath and with his deep voice, started to sing:

She looked incredible Just turned 17 I guess my friends are right She's out of my league So what am I to do? She's too good to be true

Baekhyun couldn't help himself when he heard the lyrics his friend correlated with you. They couldn't have been more accurate and despite him being in a bad mood, the idea made him laugh under his nose as he looked on the floor. “Actually, I did. And I got slapped,” he revealed somehow proudly as he let himself sit on his chair, enjoying the astonished look on Chanyeol's face.

“No way!” he straightened up in his seat, leaning forward so he could get a better look at his friend. “She slapped you? Damn, this girl is feisty. She keeps beating up our captain!” he laughed out loud, consumed by the images of you, the young woman in her late teenage years, slapping someone of Baekhyun's calibre.

“Yeah, well, she's always been fearless.” he shrugged, frowning out of a sudden. “I screwed that girl up pretty badly, Chan, but that's no news.”

Chanyeol went quiet for a minute, fully aware of Baekhyun's emotions and the way the past events had been eating him up. “How is she doing these days?”

Baekhyun shrugged. “I guess well? She's lost some weight, but,” he sighed and proceeded to talk about the event that he witnessed with the boys sexually harassing you.

“The kids these days can't keep it in their pants,” cackled Chanyeol in disbelief but Baekhyun was far from entertained. His jaw was locked, the skin pulsing with tension at the mere idea of last night.

“If they ever as much as think about her I swear to god-”

“Whoa, hold on, Baek. You know you can't just get involved.”

“What do you mean I can't just get involved? They were harassing her, and I'm a cop.”

“I think your rage is more fueled because it's about Nari. As much as you seek justice, you shouldn't let your emotions take the better out of you. Besides, people might get suspicious-”

“Chanyeol, what the fuck?” snapped Baekhyun angrily. “If she were any woman I'd do the same.”

“You would not punch in order to protect just any woman.”

“Yes, I would-”

“No, you would do the smart talk and intimidate them with your power and  authority. But you punched the kid, Baek.”

Baekhyun sighed in agitation, his hand coming yet again up to his face, tiredly rubbing at the skin. “So what should I have done? I myself am confused about my emotions but I know I care about her a lot.”

“Of course you care about her. You drank straight up one month after she found out about your fake boyfriend identity and you broke up.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, hating the way Chanyeol was so blunt with his words. “Either way, she still hates me.”

“Would you fight for her if she ever gave you a chance?” asked Chanyeol quietly, his fingers nipping at his lower lip in thought.

Baekhyun opened his mouth, ready to answer way too quickly before he stopped himself. He was frozen when he realized the answer that so naturally came to him. Would he fight for you if you ever decided to build the bridges again? He definitely would have one year ago when he came to your high school to see you.

“You're hesitating,” stated Chanyeol and pursed his lips. “I think you're scared, too, captain.”

Baekhyun scoffed but Chanyeol cut him off: “You would hate losing her again. And she is a fragile kid, scarred by everything that happened to her. She could be even more vulnerable with you. Remember that.”

><

“Where are you going?” asked Yuyeon, confused, when you were putting on your black jeans and a black hoodie. The helmet for the scooter was already tucked under your arm, ready to leave for the Saturday night. Time was ticking in your brain and you grew quite anxious about possible bad outcomes of this delivery if you wouldn't leave right away.

“Work,” you shrugged, “will get this done and then I will be free,” you smiled, a little strained but Yuyeon only gave you a suspicious side glance.

“You never work on the weekends! This employer is already playing with you and telling you to work even when it's not your official hours,” she frowned deeply, looking like a sulking child.

You sighed and suppressed the need to roll your eyes. “Okay, mum, I'll be back in time, no worries.”

“You better be! I won't fuss about wanting to go to a club when you're oh so busy.”

“I promise we can go next Friday!” you shouted, opening the door to put on your shoes.

She grumbled in response and you laughed to yourself, slamming the doors behind you when you slid your feet into your boots. Making sure they were tied well, you rushed out into the chilly evening, making your way to the mini-scooter Chul borrowed you so you could get the job done easier.

Bucheon Christian University was a little further away from your campus, so you made sure you followed the map carefully once you got the box from the apartment you usually got it from. The apartment itself was a high-rise, family friendly building and, just like the previous times, this box was also very light in your arms despite it being a little bigger. You had a spare rope under the seat of the scooter, so you tied it securely so it wouldn't fall when you had it between your feet.

As you were reaching the destination, you realized your palms were becoming more sweaty. Your heartbeat, usually quiet, was now gently beating in your ears, letting you know the stress levels were rising.

“You arrived at your destination,” said the GPS when you passed a big entrance that was leading into a small campus with white buildings that seemed too out of the place. Wanting to get the job done quickly, you searched with eager eyes for a little building that would be the security office, getting off the scooter and untying the delivery.

Seeing a box-like metal security office for the car park barrier you swallowed harshly, walking up to it. There were no signs of life inside, the lights out and the barriers probably working on auto mode. For other people, it must have looked ridiculous - you walking with a bigger box towards the security office but you could only hope no one would see your face which was the reason why you were reluctant to take the helmet off.

You were walking up to what you deemed the correct destination, but you couldn't help the uneasy feeling. There is no need, you insisted in your mind, because this was the correct destination. You would put the box down in front of the doors and just leave. Yes. That was correct.

Despite your weak reassurances, you kept looking around making sure you weren’t missing another spot. Your heartbeat was still gently pumping in your ears, reminding you that this was a little more stressful than the previous outings.

As you reached the doors to the security office, you put the box down more to the side as the doors were directly in front of the road for the cars. Feeling the relief of accomplishing another day of delivery, you turned around and started walking back towards the scooter, the tension slowly but surely easing up. You looked back several times to make sure the box was still there and with that you sat on the scooter and rode away, excited that you didn’t miss out on the night just yet.

If Yuyeon would be up for fun, you could finally go and be reckless!

><

Baekhyun was about to turn off the lights and call it a night at 9pm when a loud set of knocks disturbed his peace. Thinking it was his friends who wanted to give him a surprise visit, he swiftly opened the door only to be surprised when he spotted a ball of pink.

“The hell are you doing here?” he snapped, not moving to let the uninvited guest in.

Siamsa, or, to Baekhyun, Sooah, rolled her eyes as she stepped closer. “Well, hi to you, handsome. I’ll tell you if you let me in.”

“Well, I don’t want to know,” he replied in an even voice. “So that makes it easier. Bye-“

“Wait!” she exclaimed quickly and made a step in, wanting to prevent him from slamming the door shut in her face. “It’s about your ex.”

He didn’t want to admit it; but his heart jumped at the mention of you. Sooah never cared enough about Baekhyun’s other exes before her. Unfortunately for you, you came after her and Siamsa, the kpop sensation, was not processing it well. “If you’re gonna talk bullshit, I’ll spare myself the time-“

“If you want to protect her, you should listen,” she sing-sang nonchalantly, playing with the ends of her long hair. It was dyed blond and made her seem innocent which she was far from.

“And how would you know what’s up with Nari? You’ve already done so much shit in the past! What makes you think I’ll believe you?”

Sooah shrugged, pretending to be unbothered. “Well, I care about your well-being, Baekhyun. I know you care about her. I know the break-up was brutal. You locked up her brother-“

Baekhyun was fast to grab her by her wrist and yank her inside, quickly kicking the door shut. Sooah had a satisfied smirk on her face when she took in his distressed expression. “How. Do. You. Know. That.”

“Mhmm, so hot,” she whispered with a wink, mocking him. “I always liked how manly you are, my little one-“

“Listen,” he cut her off angrily, the nickname making him shudder inwardly, “I don’t care about your fucking games. I’m way past you and all your stupid shit. But I swear to god, if you do something to Nari-“

“You seem to have luck on girls who do stupid shit,” she mimicked him as she stood closer, making sure her breath fanned his chin. “Nari seems to go from one trouble to another. One day she might as well end up like her brother,” she laughed to herself.

“How do you know about her brother?” he asked again in a low tone, trying hard to ignore the anger he felt whenever she mentioned you.

Sooah pulled a fake thinking face, tapping her slender finger with perfect nail art on her chin. “For starters, don’t underestimate my honesty, Baekhyun. I know more than you think. I really care about you, you know,” she mumbled the last sentence and dared to reach up with her hand, touching his cheek gently. “Me messing up by protecting my identity - you were too harsh with me back then, sweetie.”

Baekhyun sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them and moving his face away from her touch. She was bringing up the past and he didn’t like it; he didn’t want to dive in it. Sooah was a great manipulator and he didn’t want to fall down the guilt rabbit hole when he knew he did the right thing in the past. “We are done with that talk.”

“I was never done with that talk,” she was fast to protest. “You were. I still want you.” When she moved to stand closer to him, Baekhyun quickly stood back and away from her. “Baekhyun!”

“Tell me what you know about Lee Nari and then leave!”

“I want something in return,” she rebutted quickly, even confidently, but the desperation on her face was speaking volumes. “And I’ll tell you all I know.”

He grit his jaw, hard. “I swear to god, Sooah, stop testing me-“

“It’s noona for you,” she murmured with a sharp gaze that kept flickering over his features. He always looked good, but judging from his outfit, she knew he was preparing to sleep. That hoodie would soon be taken off and those plaid pants too. Her mind swirled just at the thought of it.

“We are done with that too—“

“You can’t fight the age difference, baby,” she purred and stepped closer. She enjoyed seeing his internal conflict. Despite being a harsh captain, she knew which buttons to push for him to submit, although she didn’t like that it involved you. She hated that the only way she could talk to Baekhyun was if she mentioned your name.

Baekhyun sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Ok. Speak. Otherwise I’m throwing you out.”

Sooah burst out into laughter, quickly hiding her laminated teeth and scrunched up nose behind her hand. “You manhandling me wouldn’t be the first time, Captain,” she said in a low, sensual tone as she trailed her long fingernail over his chest. She could have sworn it was more toned than the last time she had the pleasure of touching it. “And you know how much I like it.” When she saw him closing his eyes in exasperation, she trailed the finger upwards to his prominent collarbones before she took the side of his neck in her palm, running her thumb over the pulse point. “God, I miss you so much. Like, so, so much, my sweetie.” She knew she was testing the limits. She also knew an angry Baekhyun was anything but good news. She refused to spare him, though. “Your girlfriend is a bad girl. She’ll easily become a criminal if she continues doing the bad stuff.”

Baekhyun snapped his eyes open. “Is she up to something these days?” he asked almost breathily.

Her fingers traveled to the nape of his neck and she buried them in the hair, lightly scratching at the skin. Baekhyun was fighting the shuddering feeling, hoping his body wouldn’t betray him.

“Oh, yes. When isn’t she up to something,” she mumbled thoughtfully, her hawk eyes taking note of Baekhyun’s slight blush. He was getting affected with her ministrations and she stepped closer to him. He didn’t move away.

“What is it?” he hummed when her other hand massages his chest in small circles. “What is it that she is doing?”

Sooah had a mischievous glint in her eyes as she bit her bottom lip in triumph. “Give me a kiss and I’ll tell you-“

“No games!” snapped Baekhyun angrily, his eyes stormy as he glared at her.

“Then you won’t find out!”

“Sooah!”

“Just a magic word and a little kiss is all I want, sweetie,” she whispered, enjoying his intent stare on her. “I promise that’s all I will want and you get to access all you need to know.”

“No,” he shook his head resolutely. “I don’t care.”

“You care so fucking much about her,” it was her turn to spit now, gradually getting infuriated with his reluctance to submit to her. “Or do you want me to, perhaps…” she trailed off, puckering her lips, feigning thinking, “tell everyone in her school you dated her as an underaged kid?”

That was it for Baekhyun. Something snapped within him and he made a threatening step towards his ex, who didn’t even budge at his abruptness. “I dare you to say a single word that would harm her reputation, Sooah. I dare you to. She already went through so much shit because of me and her family.”

Sooah was smirking as she watched the captain's troubled, but hard face. It hurt her, but she wasn’t the most emotionally literate person; she was selfish and sometimes enjoyed suffering of others. That was how a very bad product of the entertainment industry looked like. Whether she would admit it was questionable. Sooah would never give Baekhyun up when her emotions for him were so deep, when the man was desirable so much. It was always a given that he was a one of a kind man and she always wanted everything that was one of a kind.

“What a good man you are, Byun Baekhyun,” she hummed, her eyes focused on his lips. “Caring about a child so much. A child who lied to you from the very first start.”

“Whatever the hell you are trying to do here, leave it,” gritted Baekhyun eventually. “And tell me what she is up to.”

“I already told you what’s the price!” she whined, making Baekhyun frown. “A kiss. On the lips.” With her finger, she tapped her lower lip, excitement cursing through her when she saw Baekhyun eyeing her mouth. “And then the secrets are all yours.”

It was tempting; not the kiss, but the reward. Baekhyun’s mind was racing with possibilities, with outcomes. Then he became worried. He knew how twisted Sooah could be, and were she to talk in front of your school about your relationship, you’d most probably never forgive him for letting it happen and he himself would be in huge trouble. Maybe that thought was even stronger than his need to know whether you were in trouble or not.

To make Baekhyun’s pondering a little easier, Sooah boldly pressed her palm against his toned stomach, the muscles instantly flexing upon her intrusive touch. Sooah knew Baekhyun was a very sensitive man; a single tingle on his neck could turn him on, the lightest of scratches could make him stand up proud. She knew he had to be affected by her minimal ministrations. She knew him perfectly. Touching up the ridges around the muscles, she let her hand slide lower to his abdomen before reaching to cup his—

Baekhyun slapped her hand away with a growl and pressed her against the door. “One fucking kiss and you’ll spill everything,” he breathed. She couldn’t even react before he pressed his lips harshly against hers, the texture of her lip gloss attaching to his lips. Sooah groaned, arms instantly hugging his neck. Her long finger nails scratched his nape and Baekhyun’s will was becoming weaker. 

The familiar scent of her strong, sweet perfume wafted over his senses, reminding him that this was not the woman he cared about anymore. Her eager tongue pushed his lips apart and was fast to battle with his own. The way she kissed him was nothing but desperate, needy, a call for attention. He hated it. The last time he kissed a woman— a girl was a year ago and her lips were the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted. Despite her being brave with him, her kisses were shy, careful, kitten-like and Baekhyun accidentally groaned at the thought of that. 

He pressed his lips harsher against this woman’s while imaging an innocent girl behind his eyelids. His hands were pressed against the door but he wanted to touch so bad. He only got to touch her once and not the way he would have liked, and now he had to fight the urge to let his hands slide around the curves, to outline her behind while her chest would be pressed against his.

He was quickly reminded that the body pressing against him was indeed not Lee Nari. Sooah had a slim physique with a flat chest and a big space between her thighs. He loved it once, but not anymore.

Before Sooah could cup his private part again he broke the kiss, desperately needing some air and needing to snap out of his deep fantasy. Blinking several times, he got to see the face that went through so many changes with plastic surgery and when she smiled at him with swollen lips, he realized how unreal this woman was. Unreal and unfaithful.

“What is Lee Nari doing ?” he breathed, the question coming out in a low murmur, his lips visibly swollen.

The spark that was in Sooah’s eyes left, quickly interchanged with hate and betrayal. “Is this what you ask me right after you kissed me?” she shrieked, causing Baekhyun to flinch. “You just had your tongue in my mouth and you dare to say a little girl’s name afterwards?”

Sooah wasn't wrong about you being a little girl. She was older by fourteen years after all; she saw you as a complete kid. Which made Sooah feel even more devastated and enraged; Baekhyun dated someone so incredibly young, half of her age. It made her feel like she couldn't compare.

“I’m not going to ask you any more. You got what you wanted. Get out of my flat if you don’t do anything useful,” replied Baekhuyn with a hard glare.

“She is delivering drugs,” snapped Sooah and Baekhyun was shocked to find tears in her eyes as she spoke. “That’s who she is now, Baekhyun. She is delivering illegal stuff on a scooter and she doesn’t even have a driving license.”

It felt like someone poured a scorching hot water over him. You and drugs? And you didn’t have a driving license while driving a vehicle? So many thoughts raced through his mind, so many questions left unanswered. What the hell were you up to? “And you know this how?”

Sooah shrugged. “None of your damn business.”

“It is if it involves Nari.”

Sooah scoffed mockingly. “Then sleep with me.”

“You need help, Sooah,” replied Baekhyun somehow compassionately after a moment of silence. Taking the singer’s arm in his, he turned her and opened the door so he could push her out to the corridor. “And immediately. You’re sick in your head. Treat your obsession and then we can still be friends maybe.”

“You’re a heartless bastard, Baekhyun,” whispered Sooah, not turning around. “You better watch out for the university festival. Your girlfriend will be my puppet.”

She started walking with purposeful steps towards the elevator, not looking back and not noticing the way Baekhyun’s face fell with dread.

But the girl had been hurt enough.

><><><><><><><><

A/N: thank you for reading! I had lots of fun with this chapter! Let me know your thoughts, there is so much happening over here >.<

Lyrics credit: McFly - That Girl

[whatisthiswritingthing]

Observation Skills - Part Four- Lindsey Horan x Reader

Alright team, what are you wanting going forward? Super slow burn? Angst? I have a pretty good idea where I am going, but open to suggestions. 

Lindsey really is a teenage girl with a crush again. 

Lindsey: So I’ve decided we can’t be friends.

           Hot Trainer: But I come with dog?

Lindsey texted Sara later that day, receiving a selfie of the blonde and her dog in response.

           Lindsey: As adorable as Blaze is, he does not take away the suffering that I endured at the hands of your workouts.

With only an eye roll emoji sent in return, Lindsey began to panic. What if she thinks I’m serious?

Beginning to spiral, thinking she ruined their easy dynamic when it had just begun, Lindsey started to type out an apology.

           Hot Trainer: Don’t be so dramatic!

                                Those were in season workouts, should be nothing for a professional athlete like yourself ;)

                                I’ll talk to Sean to make sure he prepares you better for this season.

Lindsey was instantly filled with relief, a smile on her face. Their easy banter remaining.

           Lindsey: I’m pretty sure that’s not what I said at all! There is no need to make threats like that.

The two blondes continued to banter back and forth the remainder of the day, a smile never leaving her face. The blonde trainer putting the midfielder at ease with such a casualness it should alarm her, but somehow reassured her. Sara made fun of herself as much as she made fun of Lindsey, while also asking questions and making an effort to get to know her. Letting her expand when she wanted and casually changing the topic when she didn’t, with a smattering of pictures of Blaze throughout as well.

Their banter easily carrying over to the next morning, conversation never stopping except when Lindsey finally fell asleep early into the morning.

           Hot Trainer: I’ve thought about it, and I wouldn’t be a good trainer if I didn’t adequately prepare you for your season workouts.

A smile immediately on Lindsey’s face at waking up to a text from the trainer.

           Lindsey: It is far too early for you to be so mean already.

Lindsey continued to get ready for training, rushing slightly to make it there sooner, wanting to get as much time with the trainer as she could. Today was her last workout with Sara, after today Lindsey didn’t know what their dynamic would look like. Was Sara just being this way with her because she was training her? Would they continue to talk? Text? A smile and wave in passing?

As her anxiety continued to climb and her thoughts spiraling, she realized she was parked next to the red Range Rover again. With a deep sigh, Lindsey made her way into the gym.

All thoughts and over analyzing immediately stopped when she walked in.

Walking in, Lindsey immediately found the blonde working out. The loud music not even registering to the midfielder as she watched the trainer do pull ups at a rapid pace, only for her to drop down to the ground and begin doing pushups at the same speed. She’s shirtless, of course she is shirtless. And has a rib piece. Of course she has a rib piece.

With Sara’s back to the entrance, it gave Lindsey the chance to fully appreciate the blonde trainer’s physique. The soccer player obviously knew the firefighter was strong, but watching the muscles flex and work froze Lindsey in place.

Lindsey slowly made her way further into the gym, wanting a closer look. Wanting to feel the muscles for herself.

She was brought out her thoughts when a wet nose nuzzled into her palm. Wrenching her hand up and taking a hard step the opposite direction, she looked down to see two brought blue eyes of Blaze who simply sat and cocked his head in confusion.

“Told you he would be his best friend,” Lindsey startled again at the voice. Sara nodding to the ball now at her feet, obviously dropped from the large brown and white husky.

“Well, you clearly aren’t giving him enough attention,” she sassed back, impressed at herself for even being able to form words.

Deliberately keeping her eyes on the ball, Lindsey leaned down to pick it up and throw it the opposite direction. Braving a glance back, she found that Sara had since put a shirt on. Now she couldn’t decide if she was pleased about this or not. Wanting to see more of the skin, but not knowing what she would do if she did see more of it.

“Yeah, he’s pretty neglected, treated terribly,” Sara said sarcastically. At the same time the mentioned dog dropped the ball back at Lindsey’s feet.

“Clearly,” She snorted with an eye roll, throwing the ball again.

“You’re early again,” Sara observed, “let me go change, you keep giving him the attention I don’t give him.”

Lindsey’s eyes followed as she jogged up the stairs, transfixed on the flex of her legs as she bounded up them.

A few minutes later, Sara made her way down the stairs, now fully clothed, a bowl and large bone in either hand, with a spoon hanging from her mouth.

As Sara got closer, Lindsey could smell the cinnamon and brown sugar from the oatmeal in her bowl.

“Breakfast?” Lindsey joked, motioning to the bone with a grin.

Pulling the spoon out of her mouth, she replied, “needed to make sure I get my protein in today.”

Blaze rushed forward, patiently waiting in front of Sara for the bone in her hand. Effectively ending their joke as she handed the bone to the husky.

“What are you eating?” Lindsey asked, confused when she saw a flash of colour as the trainer took a bite.

“Dinosaurs!” Sara exclaimed, excited, quickly tilting her bowl towards Lindsey.

“Dinosaurs?” Lindsey questioned, peaking into the bowl, seeing the small candy dinosaurs mixed in with the oatmeal.

“Are you telling me you have never had dinosaur oatmeal?” the blonde questioned surprised, “they start as eggs then hatch when you heat it up!”

“How are old are you?”

“Don’t be hating on the dinosaurs!”

“Aren’t you a nutritionist? There is no way that is healthy.”

“A, I never said I was a good one,” the trainer states, pointing her spoon toward Lindsey before taking another bite, “b, dinosaurs are essentially protein.”

Lindsey just stood staring at the trainer, trying not to smile, enjoying the childlike behavior as she ate.  

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” shaking her head and looking down, Lindsey hid her blush at seeing the joy on Saras face as she smiled at her.

“Perfect! If you are done making fun of my dinosaurs, I remember a few of the hardest workouts I made for you last season,” Sara replied flippantly as she focused on scrapping the last bit of oatmeal from her bowl.

“Making fun of? No, that was definitely all out of jealously.”

Sara just rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Go warm up!”

The rest of the morning went the same for the two women, the whole work out filled with smiles and laughter. Sara keeping to a normal workout, not pushing Lindsey past her limit. Lindsey pushing herself hard to impress Sara.

After the workout finished, Lindsey grabbed her stuff and walked to the door. Sara and Blaze walking with her. Lindsey began to feel the anxiety from earlier return, overthinking their new dynamic.

“I might have to convince Sean to take more time off so we can train together more,” Sara mentioned casually as she made her way around the front counter, lazily reclining in the desk chair.

“I hate to break it to you, but I only stuck around for this guy,” Lindsey replied, leaning to ruffle Blaze’s ears, working to keep her nerves hidden.

“Fair, he is quite the catch,” Sara said in return. Lindsey missing the flash of disappointment on Sara’s face when Lindsey didn’t return the interest in training together.

“Yea, he definitely is. Talk to you later.”

With that, Lindsey made her way out the door and into her car and rested her head on her steering wheel, letting out a big sigh. How could she possibly feel this attached to someone she has only spoken to for less than a week?

Beginning her drive home, Lindsey let her thoughts travel. The gorgeous firefighter the focus. Drifting between the many different attributes she noticed in the three days with her. How effortlessly Sara could make her laugh and smile; her quick wit and charm never making Lindsey uncomfortable as she was just as quick to mock herself as she was Lindsey. The confidence she carried with her, but never seeming arrogant as she explained things. The effort she put to always ensure Lindsey was alright and comfortable with the physical contact before touching her. How at ease Lindsey felt with Sara, a level of comfort she hadn’t felt with anyone outside her family. Her personality left Lindsey wanting more, more of what, she didn’t fully understand.

Then without trying, Lindsey’s thoughts drifted to her physical attributes. The other woman was gorgeous. Shorter than Lindsey, by only a couple inches. An athletic build that only could be developed from years of sports and training, obvious strength through out. Muscle definition that could rival any fitness model, and easily put them all to shame. Bright blue eyes that seemed to see everything, and never held judgment. With a smile that bordered a smirk but was too damn charming for its own good. Accentuated by one small dimple on her right cheek. Sometime both when she smiled big enough.

How is she even real!?

I am absolutely fucked.

The next few days Lindsey felt a little unsettled. Her and Sara had texted all day Friday, then minimally Saturday and Sunday. Lindsey had gone to the gym both days, staying consistent with her program, only to find it missing the blonde and her dog.

By Monday, her anxiety had returned fully as she made her way to train with Sean again. The two talked and caught up, but Lindsey felt unfocused the whole time, always waiting for Sara or Blaze to appear.

           Lindsey: Worried to see how much happier I am with Sean back than I am with you? :p

           Hot Trainer: Is this your way of saying you miss me? ;)

           Lindsey: If you mean miss Blaze, then definitely.

Lindsey quickly received a picture of the mentioned husky stretched the length of a body on a couch, a pair of boots on the floor in background.

           Hot Trainer: He is clearly struggling, but he’s putting on a brave face.  

Despite her anxiety, Lindsey felt herself smile at the picture and the easy banter again. Then she literally face palmed, of course Sara wasn’t at the gym or texting quickly, she was working!

She needed to reign this crush in.

After realizing how much she was overthinking the last couple days, she just enjoyed talking to Sara like normal. The two continuing to message through the day, sometimes with long pauses that Lindsey assumed were due to Sara being on a call. Lindsey felt herself relaxing again.

“Alright, what has you smiling like a dork at your phone every ten seconds?” Tobin whispered in the locker room later that afternoon after practice.

Blushing, Lindsey quickly locked her phone, tossing it into her bag on the floor, “nothing.”

Glancing up, she looked around to make sure no one else was paying attention, before putting more focus than needed on untying her boots. Deliberately ignoring Tobin, feeling her watching her.

At hearing the phone vibrate in her bag, Lindsey started to reach down to check it before stopping herself, aware of Tobin’s gaze.

“So, does nothing have a name?” Tobin teased, causing Lindsey’s blush to deepen.

With another quick glance around, Lindsey dropped her chin to her chest.

“Sara,” she mumbled quietly.

Sensing the struggle her friend was experiencing, Tobin just rubbed Lindsey’s back, silently encouraging her to continue. At her continued silence, Tobin moved to wrap her arm around Lindsey.

“Come on, let’s go to your place, you can offer me your gross Kombucha, I’ll refuse, you’ll feel guilty, then feel obligated to tell me all about Sara.”

With a small smile, Lindsey nodded and the two began making their way to their respective cars.

AS soon as the duo entered the apartment Lindsey headed to the kitchen while Tobin moved to the living room and sprawled out on the couch.

“Kombucha?”

“No. So Sara?”

“Yupp, Sara,” Lindsey replied, lifting Tobin’s legs to sit on the couch with her, “she’s a trainer at my gym and I somehow went from ‘who is this crazy person also working out at 5am’ to ‘grin at my phone like a fool’ in hardly a week.”

Lindsey dropped her head to the back of the couch, lazily letting it roll to see Tobin’s reaction.

“So? There is obviously something there then, nothing wrong with that.”

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“Just go with the flow Lindsey, it’s been a week you said. Talk, hang out, get to know each other. If there is something more than friendship, act on it, if not, you made a new friend.”

“You make it sound so easy!” Lindsey lets out a frustrated sigh, aggressively flopping her head back to stare at the ceiling.

“Start from the beginning, this doesn’t sound complicated.”

Lindsey told Tobin about her intersections the blonde trainer over the past week. She described how she looked, how she made Lindsey feel, about her personality. Everything.

“I’m sticking with just go with the flow Linds, like you said its only been a week. Don’t worry before there is something to worry about.”

“Don’t worry?! I don’t even know if she is single or likes girls. I don’t even know if I like girls! But I know I like her! Fuck!”

Dragging a hand down her face, letting out a frustrated groan.

“Alright, slow down there tiger. No way someone in a relationship is texting someone new as much she is texting you or flirting with you. And if she is flirting with you, that either means she likes girls or likes you too. But most importantly Linds, you don’t need to label anything. You can like her without liking all girls or any other girls. Just do what makes you happy and comfortable.”  

“It’s that easy?” Lindsey asks timidly, turning her head to see Tobin.

“It is that easy,” Tobin repeats.

“I’ve never had feelings like this before, I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything. Just talk to her, add some serious stuff in there in the middle of your banter. If she is anyone worth being with, she is going to be patient with you and go at your pace.”

Lindsey just nodded along, staring at the ceiling again.

“Now, show me all the pictures of the dog and lets watch a movie,” Tobin says with a smile, shoving Lindsey shoulder to help settle her.

Lindsey quickly pulls out her phone, pulling up all the photos Sara had sent of Blaze.

[evanoracronwell]

Sunrise

Malex Cupid 2021 by @malex-cupid​

Day 3: “Do you know what today is?”

Also on ao3

__________________________________________________________

It is the sound of the phone ringing that awakens him.

With a grunt, he rolls over the bed until he reaches the nightstand and picks up the device, when he sees the notification on the screen the smile opens on his lips, and any irritation at being woken up disappears.

I'm already on my way home.

I can't wait to see you.

Love you.

Alex.

Alex, his beautiful and irresistible boyfriend.

And fuck if Michael would ever get tired of that word.

Smiling like a teenager, Michael answered the message, and as soon as he pressed to send he heard the growl coming from his feet on the bed. Wrinkling his nose, he looked at the beagle spread on the bed with his face completely mashed from sleeping.

"What is it, girl? It's not that early, it was almost time to get up anyway. We have a lot of things to take care of today"

With an excitement that made Buffy snort indignantly, Michael got out of bed and goes straight to the bathroom to take a quick shower and finish waking up.

Today was a very important day.

It was the first Valentine's Day that he and Alex would spend together, as a couple.

And well, honestly speaking, it was the first Valentine's Day that Michael would celebrate at all. He had no idea how to make it work. But it had to be perfect.

Because Alex deserved nothing but perfection.

So he changed his clothes and get ready to start the day.

He took Buffy for a walk even though the dog was clearly outraged about getting out of bed so early on Sunday morning.

He cleaned the whole cabin, feeling extremely proud of the home he built with Alex.

Now completely renovated, the cabin barely resembled that house that Alex had inherited from old Jim.

The couple's bedroom had been painted a light color, the bed replaced by a king bed, the wardrobe custom-made by Michael himself. The chair in the corner where Buffy always took refuge to sleep when she wasn't in bed with them.

The bathroom had been enlarged and adapted to Alex's needs, the treat they had done to themselves by buying a hot tub, and that they spent hours and hours in the water relaxing after a tiring day.

The living room now has a huge and comfortable sofa, armchairs and a television.

The kitchen had been renovated and modernized.

Everything was so perfect, so ... theirs.

The photos were scattered around the rooms. Showing captured moments of happiness between him, Alex, and the whole gang.

After so many years, Michael finally had a home to call his own.

And most importantly, a home with Alex. What made it even more special

With the house clean it was Buffy's turn to face the terrible shower, and the cowboy could only laugh while the dog whimpered as if she were suffering the worst torture at the hand of one of her fathers. But there she was, bathed and smelling the baby scent of the products they bought at the pet store, and with a pretty red bow that Isobel had made to buy for the dog.

And that was exactly why today had to be just perfect.

Because after eight months of living together, he would finally ask the hand of that beautiful man in marriage.

"Okay girl, now you behave yourself because Dad needs to go out and buy things to make dinner. Your daddy will be here tonight." He smiled when he saw how Buffy immediately reacted to Alex's mention. "That's right, girl, he'll be back today."

Michael had also changed a lot, months ago he had opened his own mechanical garage after old Sander decided to retire, the place had undergone a major renovation and was nowhere near the old Junkyard. Michael even had employees working with him, well ... just two kids that Michael was still training and teaching everything. But they were good kids and above all, hardworking, and after all, Michael never even imagined that he would have his own business.

As he drove to the market downtown, Michael found himself thinking about how much life had changed.

After Alex finally left the air force, he got a job at a private security company in Washington, but luckily he could work remotely, they paid extremely well and it made the job too perfect for Alex to turn down, so now taking the few trips he took to personally attend a few customers, Alex was always at home.

When parking the truck in front of the market, the cowboy smiled when he saw his sister standing at the front door waiting for him.

"You know when I said I was coming to the market when you called me, it wasn't an invitation for you to join me." Michael grunted, rolling his eyes as he grabbed a shopping cart and Isobel joined him in the aisles.

"Please, as if you could keep me away. Now tell me, how are the preparations for the big night?"

"I already cleaned the whole cabin and bathed Buffy and yes, I put on the bow you brought her yesterday."

"Great, my niece has to be beautiful. The candles?"

"I have already spread some of those aromatic candles around the house, I will light them as soon as I hear his car pull over. The delivery man left the flowers for me just before I left the house, they are already in the water and I will finish fixing them when I return home."

"Your clothes?"

"Washed and ironed."

"The ring?"

"On my nightstand."

"Your heart?"

"Coming out from my mouth."

Isobel laughed out loud at her brother's terrified look and hugged him around the waist, laying her head on his shoulder as she watched Michael go putting all the items in the cart.

"Michael, he loves you. Nothing is going to go wrong tonight, trust me. He will say yes. There is no couple in the world more perfect for each other than the two of you."

"We really are perfect together, aren't we?"

Isobel laughed again at her brother's silly passionate look, but she still agreed, because in fact there was no couple more in love and more perfect for each other than Michael and Alex.

"So, what's the menu going to be?"

The small box in his trouser pocket seemed to weigh a ton, making Michael's nervousness increase by the second.

Well, it turns out that cooking seems a lot easier in the videos he had seen on the internet than in practice. Not that Michael was not a good cook, he was, but he understood a lot more about cooking typical daily foods, yet he couldn't deny that he did an excellent job.

A few hours later and he had a perfect gorgonzola risotto, a rare grilled steak with a sauce of herbs and vegetables sautéed in butter. The table was already prepared with candles and a flower arrangement, beautiful, but small so that it wouldn't disturb them to look each other in the eye.

With a shower already taken and perfumed Michael looked in the mirror, that was not the kind of clothes he used to wear, dark gray trousers and a light blue shirt, but it was worth it, especially when he knew how turned on gets seeing him like that.

Perfect.

Tonight had to be perfect.

When Alex parked in front of the cabin all he could think about was how much he missed Michael, after four days away, all he wanted to hug his boyfriend and get into the hot tub for hours.

Upon opening the door, however, Alex felt his heart skip a beat.

"Do you know what today is?”

The room was lit only by two lamps that barely gave any light, leaving the rest of the lighting responsible for some candles. And flowers, white roses because Michael knew it was Alex's favorite, scattered as buds and petals everywhere. And right there, in the middle of the room, the most beautiful of all men.

Michael looked at him with a smile on his lips and his eyes were already watering.

"Michael ...?" Alex asked confused but thrilled as he dropped his backpack at the entrance to the cabin and took a step closer to Michael.

"It's Valentine's Day Alex, our first Valentine's Day together. And I've spent a lifetime wishing for this day, but never really believing that it could truly happen. Thirteen years ago you gave me a place to spend the cold nights, a guitar, and one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen in my life. " Michael started talking, staring at Alex, who was still a little confused, walking towards his boyfriend until he stopped in front of him. "You showed me that there was good in people and that there was a place for me here, on Roswell. On this planet. You gave me hope, Alex, hope that I could be happy, hope that there was more to people than just cruelty and second intentions. You taught me what it is to love and be loved in such a pure and intense way that it stayed with me, saved in my heart for more than a decade. Nurturing and comforting me every time I felt alone and lost. "

The cowboy smiled and touched Alex's face, who was looking at him so beautifully, his eyes already wet and shedding silent tears, both of them barely moving in fear of breaking that moment so sublime. Michael, speaking in a whisper as if he was afraid to wake up from that dream he felt he was living.

"There hasn't been a single day in my life that I haven't missed you, that I haven't thought of you, and most of all, that I haven't loved you. I'm yours, Alex, totally and completely yours, body, soul, and heart. I am yours to do anything you want. I always have been and will continue to be until my last breath, and beyond that too. I waited more than a decade to finally have you in my arms, and here we are living a life that I never even dared to dream of being possible. But we're here, celebrating our first Valentine's Day together. But I want more. "

With a beautiful smile, Michael took the box out of his pocket and saw how Alex immediately choked and sobbed as Michael went down on one knee showing him a beautiful and delicate silver band.

"I want to celebrate every Valentine's day with you, I want to start a family and see kids running around in our backyard, I want to adopt more dogs, I want to grow old by your side Alex. So please, could you make me the happiest man in the world and accept being my husband?"

Feeling completely overwhelmed with all the emotions he felt at that moment, Alex felt unable to even breathe for a few seconds while looking at Michael.

The beautiful and irresistible, Michael.

The eternal love of his life, Michael.

Kneeling at his feet asking Alex to be his forever.

"There is nothing in this world that I want more than to be your husband."

It was Buffy's bark that woke him, the small, plump beagle was lying on the sofa and Alex laughed when he saw her adorned with a red bow with the words "be my valentine" in white. Looking back at the man kneeling in front of him, Alex smiled so delighted and in love that Michael didn't even dare to blink for fear of losing that vision.

Alex never thought it possible to love that man more than he already did, but here was Michael proving him wrong.

Alex answered in a hoarse and choked voice and then threw himself into Michael's arms causing them to fall on the carpet in the middle of the room, between tears and laughter they kissed in love while Buffy barked and mumbled as if she were also celebrating the news.

"I love you, Michael." Alex murmured against Michael's already red and swollen lips after exchanging long, passionate kisses.

"I love you, too, Alex."

When the next day dawned, Michael grunted when he felt the light coming through the window waking him up. But the sigh coming from the man between his arms made him open his eyes and smile.

Last night had been perfect, much more than he had imagined.

Alex had accepted his proposal, they had eaten dinner while talking and listening to the soft melody that Michael had selected to play, and then they had spent a long time immersed in the hot tub where Michael sank into Alex's body, loving every bit of skin that he could touch. Only later, they went to bed and it was the cowboy's turn to ride Alex passionately, taking all the beautiful moans out of that mouth that he loved to kiss.

Now, holding the most important person in his life in his arms, Michael sighed contentedly as he brought his body closer to Alex, wrapping him tighter in his arms, and then smiled seeing the ring adorning that beautiful man's finger.

Alex, his fiance.

Alex, his future husband.

Yes, Michael smiled feeling his heart overflowing with love and happiness.

He smiled feeling the warmth of a new sunrise touching his skin and bringing all the promise of a long and happy life with Alex

Life couldn't be more perfect.

[petri808]

@ktdkvalentines​ for Syd on Ig Valentines Exchange

Bakudeku College Au. TW: panic attack, anxiety, some angst w/happy ending based on the request.

Izuku Midoriya was in a great mood that Fall morning as he arrived at the college campus. His first day of his first year away from home, ready to start the next leg of his journey. He’d chosen this university for its good reviews and psychology program. He wanted to do something good in his life and what better way then helping others who’d suffered like he had. Not that he’d had a horrible life but growing up in a single parent household created some attachment issues and bullying when he was younger left him with anxieties. All through high school he’d worked extra hard to get to a point where he could function most of the time, and he was proud of how far he’d come. That growth is what led him to pursue a career in psychology, to take his negative experiences and turn them into a positive one.

So, he wasn’t ready when he walked into the dorm room and saw the familiar blonde hair and red eyes of his nightmares looking back at him. 

Oh, this couldn’t be happening! Izuku swallowed hard, a mantra of calming statements flooding his brain as a silent staring content ensued. Neither man said a word, but the longer this went on for, the voices in his mind slowed and were replaced with questions. He was starting to realize... did the blonde even remember him?! He couldn’t tell if it was confusion, or maybe pain on the man’s twisted features, but it certainly wasn’t the angry boy he’d grown up with.

“Wow, Izuku is that you?” The man spoke with no malice in his tone, even rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Been a long time, huh?”

“Yeah... about 7 years I think.”

“H-How you been?”

“Okay, I guess. A bit surprised to see a familiar face.”

The blonde’s shoulders dropped slightly, and he averted his eyes to the ground, “probably not who you’d hoped to see again...”

“I didn’t say...”

“No, no, it’s okay.” The man waved his hands to stop him. “I— I owe you an apology Zuku. And I’m not looking for forgiveness cause I don’t deserve it, but I hope we can, I don’t know like start off fresh, I guess, since we’re stuck in this room together.”

Izuku blinked in confusion, what had happened to Katsuki Bakugou in these past 7 years?! He was certain it wasn’t all arouse, or that the man was trying to bring his guard down, because Katsuki sounded genuine. Until the age of 2 or 3 they were actually really close, but for some reason by the end of their first year of primary school, he’d started picking on Izuku, or taking out his anger on the smaller boy. He had no idea what triggered it, but in the end, he was left emotionally scarred. Now, the man standing before him exuded a broken version of that 3-year-old child he once knew.

“You’re right. I lost count of how many times I ran home in tears because of you. We were best friends and it really hurt when you started picking on me and being mean to me.” The pain evident in his voice rang out into the small, shared room. “I don’t care why you did it. But,” Izuku continued with a sigh, “you’re right, I don’t wanna rehash the past either, so if we can just start over and put up with being roommates, we’ll see how it goes.”

“I’d like that. A-and I know it might not mean much but am sorry Zuku— about how I’d treated you. I promise, I’m not that guy anymore.”

“I believe you.” And he did, for now. Deep down, Izuku always tried to stay positive because if he didn’t, and allowed the irrational thoughts to fester, it could pull him right back into an episode. He didn’t fully trust Katsuki yet, but if was serious about going into the counseling field, he also knew it was important to continue moving forward. That didn’t mean divulging all of his secrets, or telling Katsuki about his own struggles, but he’ll stay alert to make sure that at any sign the man was slipping, he’d get out of there.

As the first two months crept along, the roommates went about their own business with very little interactions at first. It was a bit weird to Izuku, to be in a shared room where their beds were literally just a few feet from one another’s, yet they were lucky to go beyond a good morning or hello. In comfortable situations, he was a bubbly person who genuinely enjoyed talking to people, so the stillness of their room was unnerving. Of course, this was better than feeling fearful around Katsuki, but how are they to move forward and maybe become friends again, if they weren’t interacting?

So, because they weren’t talking, Izuku did the next best thing and observed. One thing that had not changed about Katsuki, was being meticulous. The blondes side of the room was always neat and tidy, books or stationery on the desk stacked perfectly, clothes in the closet organized by color and type, even the bed was always made with crisp corners. Early to bed and early to rise, the man had a ritual of sorts. If he wasn’t studying at his desk, he’d be on his bed reading or listening to music. Even the way Katsuki ate was curious to Izuku, constantly wiping his hands or face of any residue. There were a few things the blonde requested of him, no scented candles or strong, smelling fish type meals, and to leave his side of the curtains closed, something about the sunlight bothering him. They were simple enough requests to acquiesce to.

The man rarely left the room except to go to class and as far as he could tell, Katsuki had only one other friend on the campus who’d occasionally drop by. A nice guy, very friendly named Eijiro Kirishima. Well, he assumed they were friends because most of the time, his roommate stayed quiet while Eijiro did the talking. Izuku was pretty sure he spoke to the man more then Katsuki during these visits. They seemed unlikely friends really, one happy-go-lucky, and one anti-social... kind of reminded him of their once friendship now that he thought about it.

Izuku could appreciate the idea of sticking to familiar surroundings. Their dorm room was a sanctuary for him as well. He avoided large, crowded areas as much as possible, and if he didn’t know anyone, did his best to be inconspicuous. But within their room, with just the two of them, it should be a comfortable experience. Before coming to the school, he’d wondered what his roommate would be like or imagined making friends, so it was a little disappointing. By the third month it was a close friend of Izuku’s that suggested he make the first move to engage Katsuki in conversations. Start out simple, maybe learn any hobbies, what music he listened to, his major, etc. Forget the fact he knew the man and pretend as if he’s trying to make a new friend. Ugh, he hated making the first move. Izuku preferred being engaged not initiating it because it drove his anxieties up. But they were right. ‘Think of it like practice,’ Izuku reasoned with himself, ‘pulling a difficult client out of their shell.’

It was a lazy Sunday around midterms when Izuku decided to make a move. As he sat rested on his bed similarly to Katsuki, with his back against the wall and a textbook propped on his legs. Every few seconds, he glanced over the book’s edge, side-eyeing the blonde who was also nose deep into a chemistry textbook. Should he say something? But the man looked preoccupied, and Chemistry is a difficult subject. Maybe he shouldn’t bother Katsuki? He didn’t want to be annoying or anything and it wasn’t important really. Then again, the guy was always preoccupied with something or other and if he waited for a perfect moment, what if it never came? Would he wait forever? No, this was as good a time as ever.

Izuku lowered his book. “H-How’s the studying going Kacchan?”

The blonde turned to look at him briefly. “Fine.” Then returned to his reading.

“Oh, that’s good.”

Ugh! It was always so hard to get a read on Katsuki! His affect and tone were flat, no anger, amusement, nothing, just his common one worded response. It was rare for the blonde to give or maintain eye contact, so at least the man looked at him this time.

He tried another question. “I noticed your chemistry book, is that your major?”

“Yup.”

“Um, what do you do with a chemistry degree?” Izuku asked genuinely.

This time Katsuki surprised Izuku when he stopped and put his book down before engaging. “I’m fascinated by the chemical reactions of fire and combustion. How it works, why it occurs, how it can be manipulated, stuff like that. And I don’t know, I could be a scientist, or maybe do pyrotechnics, just work somewhere I don’t have to talk to too many people.”

“Wow! I mean I was never good at math and stuff to understand, but it sounds pretty interesting.”

“I guess so. What’s with the questions all of a sudden?”

“W-Well,” Izuku shifted his body to face the man completely, “we’re roommates. I don’t expect us to be full-on friends, but I figured it would be nice to talk sometimes.” Katsuki’s silent reply of nothing forced him to make a decision to continue talking, because he assumed if the man wasn’t interested, he would have turned away. Silence wasn’t exactly a normal response, but maybe the blonde really wasn’t sure what to say next. “I don’t expect you tell me super personal stuff— just small talk. Like, um, what kind of music do you like?”

“Alternative.”

Izuku’s eyes flashed with surprise at such a quick response. Okay, so Katsuki was fine with answering. “I like that too! Well, some,” he giggled. “Though I mostly listen to pop now. What about movies?”

“Horror films.”

“Oof,” Izuku cringed. “I can’t handle those they scare me too much!”

“I remember. It gave you nightmares.”

Bouncing on the bed, Izuku’s legs moved to hang over the edge in his excitement. He was really surprised in a good way that Katsuki remembered something so mundane about him. “Wow! You still remember that?! Yeah,” he laughed, “I’ll stick to sci-fi or action. Plus, I’m not fond of theaters anyways so, I just watch stuff on my laptop.”

“Why not? You used to be the outgoing one.”

That made Izuku flinch because he wasn’t ready to tread into that territory with his former bully. “Oh, you know, it’s always crowded, and you have to deal with parent-less kids causing a racket in the place. I rather just enjoy my movie without all that.”

“Makes sense. I don’t care to go to places like that either.”

“Yeah, I noticed that— is there anything you do like or hobbies maybe?”

“Just exercising in the early morning, by myself, except since Eijiro inserted himself, I tolerate him.”

So, that confirmed what he’d already suspected. Katsuki kept his body in really great shape and that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Izuku. But since he wasn’t much of a morning person, he didn’t notice what time Katsuki left the dorm, only the man’s return, showered and refreshed. Needless to say, the blonde male with wet hair was nice to look at and smelled good too. “Oh,” his face heated up at the thought of it, but he needed to play dumb. “So, that’s what you do in the mornings. I wondered about that.”

Things between the roommates settle into a comfortable routine. As another month passes by, Izuku still needed to start the conversation, but at least Katsuki would respond amicably or engaged with him, and to his delight with the help of Eijiro, they’d even managed to get the man to go out to dinner once. Those years of dread and angst were melting away, and soon enough Izuku looked forward to spending time with his old friend.

He still couldn’t get a full read on Katsuki’s demeanor. The man’s emotionless responses made it difficult to tell whether or not he was even enjoying anything. So, Izuku could only assume that by participating, he didn’t mind. The old Katsuki would say whatever he was thinking, good or bad, and while he got the sense that he would do so as needed, such as letting him know about the scent issue, it would be really nice if it didn’t feel like a guessing game all the time. Regardless, the progress they were making to rekindle any sort of relationship was a win in Izuku’s mind.

“Here.”

Izuku looked up from his desk to see a plastic shopping bag held in Katsuki’s hand. “What’s this?” He took it tentatively.

“I saw it at the store. You still into this stuff?”

He opened the bag and pulled out the latest action figure of his favorite comic book character. It was a figurine he’d been saving up his spare money to buy. “Kacchan,” Izuku looked back up curiously at the man. “Is this for me? How’d you know?”

Katsuki just shrugged. “Just remembered you were obsessed with the guy.”

“Thank you, really, but I can’t except this gift, it’s not even my birthday.”

“Just take it. Think of it as an I’m sorry gift if it makes you feel better.”

As Izuku sat there stunned, the blonde simply went back to his bed without another word and picked up a book as if nothing significant had just occurred.

“T-Thank you, Kacchan.”

“Yeah, no prob.”

His face heated up and a smile took over as he stared at the action figure for a few seconds before staging it prominently on his bedside table. Izuku had left all of his collectibles at home, so it was nice to have something in their room. But even more important, was again, Katsuki remembered something about Izuku from their childhood and took the time to get this gift. Despite their long rocky history, this small act meant the world to him. It was the first true moment to make Izuku think, maybe they really could be like they once were.

Finals were approaching in barely two more weeks, and some students were already stressing out. The anxiety in the air felt palpable to Izuku. He could feel it practically oozing off the other students. Of course, everyone dealt with stress in different ways. Some went inwards, the pressure fueling them to work harder while other’s went the completely opposite route of goofing off and procrastinating. Other’s might stress eat, binge caffeine drinks, and friends banded together in study groups. But then there are the ones who took out their frustrations and stress on others.

Bullies. The bane of Izuku’s existence.

Most of the time, he could easily avoid their type around campus. He’d developed a sixth sense for such individuals which his therapist explained as a heightened sense of energy levels. It’s really not as mystical as it sounds, rather that, those like him that suffer from a high level of anxiety, are sensitive to other people’s emotional outputs. Being bullied or harassed himself certainly sent his anxiety’s skyrocketing but seeing it could also trigger a problem depending on the severity.

Hence his current predicament...

It was the end of the day for Izuku and he was ready to just get back to his dorm, eat something, and dive into his studies. One of his teachers had released the finals study guide early, so he thought it best to get a head start. But as he made his way past the row of dorm buildings, Izuku spotted something that sent a cold chill down his spine. Three men cornering a fourth. They were at least 50 yards away and he couldn’t hear everything they were yelling. Something about a group project, pulling weight— One man had grabbed the victims shirt and was semi-lifting him up while the other two men just watched and egged him on.

Oh, this was not good! Izuku’s memories started to replay and his experiences were brought back to the forefront. The men’s faces were so close... he could almost feel the hot breath wafting over, spit hitting his face, or the smell of the bullies breath. It made him sick to his stomach. Izuku’s heart raced, his throat began to close up, and breathing grew erratic. He needed to get out of there! The red piercing eyes of his nightmares took center stage in his mind’s eye... all those times he was harassed and battered by Katsuki rushing back like a wave to toss him against a wall of sandy hair.

‘Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths!’ Izuku screamed in his head, ‘calm down, calm down, get back to my room! It’s not you, it’s not you... it’s not him! It’s not him!!’

Izuku picked up the pace, a fast walk over a running sprint to avoid being noticed. The last thing he needed was to draw attention to himself and risk becoming the new target. He dug his nails hard into his arm to force his mind towards a physical distraction, but it wasn’t working.

A deep voice screamed, cursing at the top of its lungs, and filling Izuku’s mind, just like that long ago day. The worst attack, the one that finally pushed his mother to move him to a different school. All the fear coursing through his veins rush back, heart pounding against his rib cage. Katsuki had grabbed him, hand fisted into his shirt as he pushed Izuku up a wall and off his feet. He could still feel the cold stone wall behind him juxtaposed to the pain from his hot throbbing lip and swollen cheek where he’d been struck.

He burst through the dorm room door, stumbling, spilling his bag onto the floor as he fell to his knees, gasping for air because his jaw felt locked up and he couldn’t get enough air. All of his muscles were tensing up, imagined or not, it felt like he was suffocating. His body was shaking, sweating— he wanted to puke.

“Whoa, Zuku, what’s wrong?!”

Katsuki had rushed over and dropped to the floor, grabbing Izuku by the shoulders to hold him up and steady. But he couldn’t answer the man in words. Tears were streaming down his face as he did his best to focus and answer the man, but it was tough, fighting against the rapid assault of images in his mind and cursing blaring in his eardrums.

“Fuck, um, allergic reaction?!”

Izuku shook his head violently, no.

“Choking?!”

Again, Izuku shook his head violently, no.

“Panic attack?!”

Izuku now adamantly shook his head, yes!

“Okay, okay, shit, panic attacks, um, it’s been awhile, what do I— oh, right, okay, okay, d-don’t move!” Katsuki stumbled back to his feet and ran out of the room, coming back within a minute with a cup of ice cubes from the common kitchen. He takes one, two, three, shoving it into Izuku’s mouth. It took a bit of effort to get the man’s jaw to open wide enough to shove it in. “Close your mouth all the way, try to get the ice to touch the roof of your mouth.”

Seconds after the ice touched, it sent a brain freeze from hell shooting through Izuku’s pain receptors. “Ahhh!” He spat out all the melting cubes as his hands fly up to his head, cradling, squeezing to counter against the physical pain, “cold! Cold! Cold!”

At that statement, Katsuki slumped back onto his haunches in relief. “Oh good, it worked.” He then took Izuku’s hands with an even soft tone. “Look at me.” Once the man complied, he continued. “Focus on your breathing, inhale when I say to, exhale when I say to.”

Izuku struggled against the embers of irrational thoughts coupled with the brain freeze coming down. His breathing stayed haggard, jagged as he fought his own mind to follow Katsuki’s instructions. But every time he’d start to struggle, the man would refocus him back to the breathing by pressing his thumb nail into the webbing of Izuku’s hand. Not very hard, but enough of a sting to bring back his focus on the physical. It took about 15 minutes until he could breathe in time with Katsuki’s words.

Be it the overwhelming sense of release or sheer exhaustion, Izuku collapsed on to Katsuki’s chest. His panicked breathing whittled down to silent sobbing. The blonde didn’t move or flinch and held the man up, simply keeping his arms around his back without a word. Minutes dragged by as the tears finally slowed.

“Thank you, Kacchan,” Izuku breathed out. “How’d you know what to do?”

“Let’s just say, I’ve had my share.”

Izuku sat back, rubbing away the moisture drying on his cheeks as he looked at his roommate with new eyes. “You? W-When? I-I mean if you don’t wanna say, it’s fine, I’ll understand. We probably both have a lot a secrets.”

Katsuki thought for a moment. “If I tell you what happened, you gotta come clean too.”

He hadn’t expected that, but after what had just occurred, perhaps it was time. “Okay,” Izuku nods.

“In middle school I was sent to a therapist because of my anger issues and diagnosed as a high functioning autistic. Frankly, I don’t know how much to believe in that, but in the end, the therapist was a good thing.” Katsuki leaned back against a desk leg. “The short answer, I learned the reason I’d started bullying you was because I was getting frustrated with myself which lead to anger, and I wrongly took it out on the closest person to me.”

“Why were you frustrated? I thought we were fine...”

“It had nothing to do with you. It was me and I don’t know, I just started feeling different, I didn’t like being around people, didn’t understand or even care about anyone because I couldn’t figure out how to fit in. Yet I’d watch you make friends so effortlessly and I got mad. There’s a lot more to it, even blamed my mom for some of it, but I just didn’t know how else to get it out except through anger. It took a few years to learn to control myself. That’s one of the reasons I got into exercising. If I start feeling frustrated, I can take it out that way now, burn off the excess energy I guess.”

Izuku was a little taken aback at the idea Katsuki’s been diagnosed on the autism spectrum. The man didn’t seem like he had a mental disorder, but the clues were there. The aversion to certain stimulus, social apathy, his fixations on certain elements. “Wow... I had no idea. It doesn’t excuse what you did, but I’m glad you’ve come this far.”

“So, what about you?”

“I don’t think it was just the bullying that started it all. After my dad left us, I was already vulnerable, it’s why I latched onto you so quickly. So, when you started— I-I felt extremely hurt. You were my first friend, my best friend Kacchan and when you started hurting me... I don’t know what was worse, the physical pain or the mental ones. By the time I moved schools, I’d developed anxiety and depression, and it got so bad my mom finally took me to a therapist where I worked all through high school to get it under control. I do really good now, but sometimes things trigger me.” More tears resurface to cloud Izuku’s eyes, but he kept them from spilling. “Today, on my way here, I-I saw a guy being harassed and it brought it all back again. Nothing was working, so I just thought if I could just get to safety, a-and I don’t know, I figured I could get it under control once I was alone. But I’m glad you were here, because I don’t think I could have. You really, saved me today Kacchan.”

“It doesn’t make up for anything. I’m the asshole who made you like this.”

He snorted a laugh, “that’s for sure, but the cause became the cure.”

“What?”

“You caused this, but today you cured it. That means a lot to me because I do want to forgive you.”

“No. I don’t deserve a second chance. I’m content that we’re at least on speaking terms again and I could make amends somehow.”

“Kacchan, everyone deserves a second chance.” Izuku’s smile returned. “We were kids. You didn’t know better. And you’ve changed, that’s the important thing. I think we’ve both changed.”

“How?”

“Well, it’s those experiences that helped me to find a new passion in life to help others— people like us who are struggling with something. Turn a negative into a positive.”

“How the hell do you do that? You just had a panic attack and you’re already sunny smiles again. I mean you were always like this, and it’s me, I just don’t get emotions, but if you wanna forgive me, I guess I can’t stop you.”

Izuku shrugged. “Nope you, can’t,” he smiled wider. “Right now, this is probably the happiest I’ve felt in a very long time.” He stood up and extended a hand, helping Katsuki to his feet. “Dinner, my treat.”

“I don’t feel like going out.”

“I know,” Izuku smiled. “I’ll order in.”

[oh-theatre]

I tripped face first over here from Lexi's blog. What's your opinion on Married Logicality with kid Virgil because I am drowning in that mess

OHMYGOSH LITERALLY YES????

Little virgil sulking into the room cause he’s scared after a bad night and Logan just picks him up and cuddles him while he goes about his day. Patton comes in and places a gentle kiss on Virgil’s head

Virgil making grabby hands and Patton just knows to pick him up and then he like carries him around on his back

Snuggle sunday!! The boys in their onesies all gathered on the couch watching movies

Virgil coming into Logan’s offices and just kinda climbing onto his lap while he’s in a meeting and begins playing with the stuff on Logan’s desk but like quietly

Patton having to go to the hospital for work but Virgil wants to go with him

Lunch visits to the hospital, Logan and Virgil excited to see Patton

Patton getting home really late and Logan’s on the couch asleep and the TVs still playing and Patton just goes up to him and gently kisses his forehead before placing a blanket on him

Some of Pat and Los friends are babysitting Virgil so the couple is home alone and they just have this super romantic night and after dinner it’s just this sweet candlelit room and they kinda slow dance to the music

Virgil’s first day of school and he brings both his dads and they hold his hand and they just kneel down and tell him it’s gonna be ok

When Virgil was younger he got to sometimes go to the hospital daycare place and after a tough surgery Patton would just visit Virgil and just play with him and just be happy

Logan coming to check on Patton if he’s had a rough day and finding him asleep with Virgil on his chest all snuggled in a room

Logan’s got a big day at work and Patton’s fixing his tie and just so excited for him cause BOYS GETTING A PROMOTION and he comes home and just “I’m the new CFO” and it’s just this celebration with a very confused Virgil who’s just happy to see his parents happy

Virgil crawling into his parents bed at midnight after a bad nightmare, no questions asked they just take him in and cuddle him

His anxiety gets worse and he hates being away from his parents so he suffers a panic attack at school one day but is too scared that he doesn’t tell his parents

Patton finding out and just reassuring him it’s going to be ok AND THEN revealing he himself suffers from anxiety

The family deciding to get a little beagle who they plan to train as a therapy dog for Virgil

Stormy the beagle is a wonderful addition to the family

Logan can recognize when Patton’s lost a patient and is just ready to comfort I’m. He spends his time in his room and Logan takes the parenting duties for the night but once they settle in he just takes Patton and lets him cry devastated

Patton is a pediatric surgeon and so he works with kids day in and day out and nothing is better than coming home to see his healthy Virgil bouncing on the couch humming along to the gravity falls theme song

THEYRE just a really happy family, a really successful one despite their upbringing, the world that denies them their basic rights to be happy and their own families disgust

They have eachother and that’s all that matters

BASICALLY SUCESSFUL LOGICALITY WITH THEIR SON VIRGIL AND HI I LOVE THEM

Also hi ?? I love @coconut-cluster so much?? Like I love Lexi more than anything

[hopelikethemoon]

Weed (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Weed Rating: PG-13 Length: 4600 Warnings: Potential triggers if you have toxic family members and/or triggers difficult child hoods. Also recreational marijuana use and fluff!  Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set November 2nd 1998.  Summary: Reader goes to therapy and Javier tries something new.

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“I was quite surprised to hear from you again.” Nancy remarked as she shuffled papers in her notebook, peering up at you from the rim of her eyeglasses. “When last we met, you seemed to be well on your way.” She took her glasses off and sat them on her desk, “Have we had a setback?”

You chewed on your bottom lip as you stared across the room at her, “I wouldn’t necessarily call it a setback.” 

“What would you call it?”

“I was doing really well. After everything with the articles, Javier and I went on vacation together and things felt…” You sighed. “I felt like I had finally hit my stride. You know?”

“Perhaps you should elaborate.”

You and Javier had already decided that Nancy was a safe space to discuss your elopement. It wasn’t like she could tell anyone about your sessions. Not to mention the fact that you had discussed your aversion to the whole concept at length in previous sessions.

But it still felt wrong to tell her. 

“Well,” You drew in a deep breath before exhaling slowly. “Javier and I got married.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, picking a piece of fuzz off your leg. “It was perfect. I finally realized I had reached this point in my life where I wanted that. I wanted this thing that was just ours.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“I mean, you know that Javier and I are private people. Having our lives splashed across newspapers was daunting. Which… that’s actually why I’m here.”

“Your marriage?”

“No. My mother.”

Nancy’s brows rose upwards and for the first time she seemed shocked by something you had to say. “Your mother?”

You rubbed your lips together and nodded a little. “She showed up this weekend. Halloween.” You laughed quietly, staring at a spot on the floor. “Seeing her again… it brought up. A lot.”

“Would you like to discuss what it brought up?”

“That’s why I’m here,” You retorted, before you sank back against the sofa, raking your fingers through your hair. “For a few fleeting seconds I let myself actually believe that maybe she had changed. That maybe rehab had cured her. Finally. But… then I was thirteen again. I felt so small and… scared.”

“Scared?”

“I’ve worked very hard to make sure my girls have a safe, loving, harmonious life. I even came here. I recognized I had a problem after Sofía and I… handled it. That’s what I do. I handle things.” You swallowed thickly, feeling a knot form in the pit of your stomach. “This isn’t new. We’ve talked about her before.”

Nancy flipped through the pages of her notebook, “Yes. I recall our lengthy conversation about her addiction. You made a lot of progress, grappling with those difficult emotions that grew from a difficult situation. How did this encounter make you feel?”

“I don’t think I’ve slept since Friday night.” You shrugged a shoulder, “Javier’s been great. He’s… always been understanding.”

“But you’ve never fully discussed the details with him, have you?”

You bit down on your bottom lip and shook your head. 

“Why do you think that is?”

“Because it’s a lot. We used to talk about it… before we were together. It’s come up before.”

“You once referred to her as a shadow on your life. Does it feel like that shadow returned?”

“Yes.” You rubbed your hands together, leaning forward on the edge of the sofa. “That’s exactly how it feels. She’s gone — I hope she’s gone — but I still feel…”

“Small?”

“She pulled all the same tricks. She tried to make Javi think I was crazy. She pulled the tears and the blaming and… I genuinely don’t think she realizes how traumatized I was as a child.”

“What stands out?”

You laughed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “God, I don’t even know. There was so much.” 

“I would like to try something, if you’re open.” Nancy suggested, “Would you be comfortable laying down?”

“Sure.” You kicked off your shoes and stretched out lengthwise on the sofa. “Is this the whole… introspective breathing exercise?”

“Yes.”

You dragged your hands over your face, trying to will yourself to relax. “Alright. I’m ready.” 

“Focus on your breath. In and out. As you feel the air rushing into your lungs, I want you to think back to your childhood.” Nancy advised you. “Pinpoint a moment. Just one.”

You closed your eyes, focusing on your breathing just as she had told you to. You pictured your lungs filling with air and deflating as you exhaled. How many times had you used breathing exercises to manage anxiety?

You let your mind wander back — at first you thought of Javier. Those were easy memories to reflect on. Safe memories. The way he’d held you this morning, the way he tried to chase away all of the bad memories that had returned with your mother. But you weren’t sitting on Nancy’s sofa to think about Javi.

“What do you see?”

“The house I grew up in,” You answered, digging your teeth into your bottom lip as you settled into that memory. “We lived in one of those one-level post-War houses. It was identical to the one next to us, except… we had a blue front door. She painted it when she was high, it was… It was poorly painted.”

“Who painted it?”

“My mother.”

“How does that blue door make you feel?”

“I used to dread it. Every time my dad would bring me back after a weekend with him…” You sighed heavily. “It wasn’t a welcome sight.”

“And what was beyond that door?”

“The place I lived. It was never home. It was just the place I lived.” You weren’t sure if you’d ever really had a home before Javier and the girls. They felt like what home had always looked like in books and movies. 

“If I was coming back from dad’s house, I knew I was going to be met with hostility. She treated me like a traitor every time I came back to the house. If she had gotten high while I was gone, she was usually passed out on the sofa — that was the best time to come back.”

“Tell me about your room.”

“There was a mural on one of the walls. A butterfly.” You shook your head slowly as you pictured the poorly drawn butterfly. “I used to pretend I was the butterfly, that I could just fly out the window and never look back.”

“Did you feel trapped?”

“Always.” You shifted on the sofa, trying to find a more comfortable position. “I never felt safe.”

“Why?”

“There were always people in our house. Strangers — a lot of strange men.” 

“Were you ever harmed?”

“No. I’m certain I’m lucky in that regard. I slept with a chair in front of my door. My dad told me to do that. Even though he wasn’t there, he tried to protect me.”

“Do you think these experiences have played a part in how you approach your life?”

You laughed bitterly, “Every day. Not even consciously. These things are so hard wired into who I am.”

“How so?”

“Before Javier and I were together, I was terrified that my daughter would be brought up into a life like my own. Torn between two people who couldn’t get along. I knew Javier was a good man, but I still feared that. It makes life very confusing for a child.” 

“Let’s touch on those fears. It’s very common in adults who have suffered from upbringings like your own — they fear repeating the cycle. Is that something you find yourself faced with?”

“All the time. Everything that happened with Sofía’s birth brought up a lot of those emotions. I was afraid it would be the trigger. I had never felt that way before. I felt like a stranger in my own body.” You focused on your breathing again, trying to push aside the panic you felt. “Seeing her again this weekend, definitely brought those emotions back to the surface. Javier tried to reassure me. He was great — so great.”

“What emotions?”

“She got under my skin.” You admitted. “I have worked so hard to provide everything for my family. We have a home, we love each other, the girls are safe and loved.”

“How did your interaction with your mother go?”

“She showed up Saturday night. We had plans for Josie — a school Halloween party. I let Javier handle it because I just didn’t have the emotional bandwidth. I guess she said some shitty things to him, I’m not surprised. She skirted around it with me on Sunday.”

“Why did you speak to her on Sunday?”

“Javier had to reason with her. To get her to leave, you know?” You swallowed thickly. “So she came back on Sunday and we talked. She made excuses, she blamed me, she lashed out. I was thirteen again.”

“Why thirteen?”

You opened your eyes, turning to look at Nancy. “What?”

“You mentioned thirteen twice. What happened when you were twelve?”

“Oh,” You rubbed at the spot between your brows. “My mother and her boyfriend — I think it was Greg… there were a few at the time — but, they had this party…” You closed your eyes again. “Drugs everywhere. My mother was drunk, on top of whatever she’d snorted… she hadn’t even bothered to make dinner for me. So I was in the kitchen, it was in the back of the house, and I was trying to make something to eat. There was this woman who was there and I guess she had wandered away from the rest of the party—” 

“Take your time.”

You covered your face, “She was nice. Obviously very high, but she liked my shirt. It had a butterfly on it.” You pressed the heels of your palms against your eyes. “She sat down at the kitchen table and she… nodded out and then she made this sound.” You sat up slowly then, pushing your fingers through your hair. “It was like a death rattle.”

“Did she die?”

You nodded, “Right in front of me. I tried to call 911, but…” You looked at a point somewhere beyond Nancy. “My mother threatened me. She said if I told anyone what happened, she’d make sure I never saw my father again. I couldn’t sleep for weeks.”

“You have gone through a considerable amount of trauma at a very young age,” Nancy surmised, closing her notebook as she leaned against her desk. “Yet you have overcome it. You have a healthy relationship with your partner, you put tremendous consideration into your relationship with your daughters. But I do think there is more work to be done. You are not an island. You are no longer isolated.”

You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly as you weighed her words. “I know I’m not. And I do talk about these things with Javier. I always have.” 

“It is okay to let go of the past. You don’t have to carry that baggage with you.” Nancy smiled at you kindly, “This is a minor setback, that you cannot let affect the progress you’ve made.”

You chewed on your thumbnail nervously, “I know. And I am aware that I’m a work in progress. We all are.”

Nancy nodded, “Exactly. Focus on today, on the here and now. Don’t let yourself get trapped in this moment. Your mother has no control over your future.”

“I tell everyone that it’s okay to cut toxic people out of their lives, but when it came to my own mother I hesitated.” 

“We all want to believe the best in someone. But some people aren’t wired to be their best. There’s no shame in disconnecting. Focus on your own family.”

You smiled back at her, “Thank you. I do think I’m going to start having sessions again. I want to get through this—“ You gestured to your chest. “I have a lot of pain that I’m still carrying. I would like to work through it with you.”

“I’m here for you. And, of course, Javier if he decides he’d like to join us.”

“I’m sure he will,” You laughed softly. “He was willing to come today if I needed support.”

“Our regular appointment time is still open. Feel free to call and get yourself back on my books.”

“Thank you.”

 ——

 Talking about your past hadn’t necessarily managed to cure your mild malaise, but it has helped to an extent. You felt lighter. You didn’t feel afraid that you’d see Rebecca standing outside of your house when you got home. 

Maybe a few more weeks of talking with Nancy — before you packed up the car to head to Laredo for Thanksgiving — would do you good. 

You peeled off your coat as you walked through the front door, hanging it on the hook. “Should I be afraid? It’s awfully quiet.” You called out, glancing around the empty family room. 

“In the kitchen!” Javier called out and you followed his voice. “You got home sooner than I expected.”

Your brows rose upwards as you looked at the bags of chips sitting on the counter. “Are we having a party I was unaware of?”

“No,” Javier grinned at you, shaking his head. “Connie’s keeping the girls another night. She’s off today.”

“Oh?” You tilted your head to the side. “Bags of chips, no kids…” 

He sat a familiar box down on the counter between the two of you, “I’m finally ready to bite the bullet, baby.”

You couldn’t help but cover your mouth and laugh, “Javier!” You moved around the counter, wrapping your arms around him as you continued to laugh. “You really don’t have to try weed, just because I’m having a shitty couple of days.”

“But I want to,” Javier ran his hand down your back. “You said before that it helps with stress and… I think we’re both pretty stressed right now.”

“I agree with that, but you really don’t have to try something you don’t want to. I know how you feel about it.”

“I had a really long conversation with Nadia about it at the party Saturday night. She laid it all out pretty clearly,” He rocked his jaw as you pulled back to look at him. “I can see the merits of smoking occasionally.”

You smiled up at him adoringly, “And here I thought I couldn’t love you anymore than I already do.” You rose up and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Better watch out,” You teased, cupping his jaw. “I might have to marry you.”

“Did you tell her?”

“I’ve never seen her so surprised.” You told him as you ran your thumb over his bottom lip. “It was a good session. I think I’m going to start going again.”

“Good.”

You ran your hands over his shoulders as you leaned against him, “I can’t believe you’re willing to smoke. Finally. God, I hope you love it.” 

“I like the prospect of being pain free for an evening.” Javier leaned down and rested his forehead against yours. “How are you doing?”

“I’m here.” You curled a hand around the back of his neck, playing with the hair there. “A lot of bad memories got dredged up.”

“I know you didn’t sleep last night.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips, giving your hip a squeeze. “You gonna fall asleep on me if we smoke?”

You snorted, “Probably.” You watched him as he moved back to the grab the box off the counter. “Don’t you have class tomorrow?”

“I’ve assigned it a research day. They’ll be working on the proposals.” He answered smoothly. “They need the time to work anyways.”

“I’m touched that you did all of this, Javi.” 

He shrugged, “I wanted to do something that would cheer you up, baby. You were pretty out of it last night.”

“Last night was rough,” You admitted as you took the box from him, “Grab the chips.” 

Javier followed you into the bedroom, sitting the chips down on the foot of the bed as he watched you open the windows to let some fresh air in. 

“What should I expect?”

You paused, hands on your hips as you turned back towards him. “It’s different for everyone, but for the most part… You’ll feel like you’re drunk, without feeling drunk. Warm and fuzzy.” You shrugged. “I just know it makes me feel really calm.”

He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek as he nodded, “This can never get out. They won’t let either of us teach.”

“Marriage, pegging, and weed. Our three dirty secrets.” You wiggled your brows at him as you moved to join him at the foot of the bed. 

You sat the box on your legs, opening it and pulling out the neatly rolled joint from the last time you’d taken a hit. “It’s a lot like smoking. Same in and out.” You explained, sitting the box aside and holding the lighter out to him. “The key is that you have to let go and enjoy it.”

Javier dragged his teeth over his bottom lip and nodded, “I think after the year we’ve had, I can let go and have fun.”

“And that’s growth.” You laughed, before tucking the joint between your lips. He flicked the lighter on, bringing it to the end of the joint and lighting it for you. 

You pinched it between your fingers, drawing in a deep breath before exhaling slowly. This was exactly what you needed. You could already feel the first tingles as it settled. 

“Ready?” You questioned, holding the joint out between you. “You don’t have to, Javi. I don’t mind smoking if you just want to lay here with me.”

He shook his head, taking the joint from you. “I’m willing to try it, baby. I wanna see what all the fuss is about.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Of course you do.”

Javier brought it to his lips, tagging a drag off of it before passing it back to you. “What am I supposed to feel?”

You snatched it from him and took another breath, “Just let it happen. Don’t overthink it.” You held the joint up, smirking as he leaned forward and wrapped his lips around it. 

He had really nice lips. 

Javier rubbed his lips together thoughtfully, “I feel a little tingle.” He admitted, taking it back from you after you took another hit. 

“Just sink into it,” You advised him as you took the little ashtray out of the box, leaving it on the bed as you rose to your feet. 

“Where are you going?”

“Nowhere.” You gave him a look as you sat the box down on your nightstand, before returning to him to take another drag off it. “I’m just making more room.”

Javier laughed as he exhaled. “More room for what?”

You shrugged, “I was thinking a pillow fight.”

“Oh really?” He laughed again, watching you as you picked up the bag of sour cream and onion chips and sat them on the nightstand too. “Why a pillow fight?”

“Because it sounds fun.” You plopped back down beside him, taking the joint from him and take another hit off it, “Javier Peña is smoking weed.”

He rolled his eyes, “I’ve been corrupted.”

“Corruption looks good on you,” You told him, brushing your knuckles against his cheek. “I miss the hair.

Javier grinned around the joint tucked between his lips, “I didn’t let it go until you got your wish.”

You leaned over and kissed his cheek, ruffling your fingers through his hair. “You look good when you’re getting fucked.”

“So I’ve been told,” He said as he exhaled a puff of smoke between you, before passing it back to you. “I haven’t got a bad word to say about it.”

“Good.” You scrunched up your nose and laughed. “You’re so good to me.”

Javier beamed, “Have you met you?”

“I don’t know if I have.” You tucked your leg beneath you as you angled yourself towards him. “Tell me more.”

“Well,” He offered you the joint again. “I do feel tingly!” Javier snorted, “Is this what it feels like?”

“I don’t know. How do you feel?” You questioned, toying with the third button of his shirt. “I feel warm.”

“I feel warm too!” He clasped his hands together, looking towards the open windows. “I feel good.”

“That’s all I want,” You admitted to him, sitting the smoldering joint in the ashtray. “You know what?”

“What?”

“You’re hot.”

He laughed loudly, sinking back against the bed, his legs still draped over the edge. “Yeah?”

You nodded emphatically. “I remember… my first day.” You swept your hands through the air dramatically. “I walked into the office and saw you and just thought — hot!”

“Oh, was that your first thought?” 

You laid back in the bed, settling into the crook of his arm, “Mhm.” You sighed happily. “And then I quickly realized what a dick you were.” You pressed close to him, nuzzling at his neck. “That’s how I knew I was screwed.”

Javier laughed, rubbing his hand down your arm, “We were both screwed.” He hummed, his lips still drawn into a smile as he stared up at the ceiling. “Do you remember New Years?”

“Like eleven months ago?”

He shook his head, “Before Josie was born.”

Your brows furrowed as you tried to focus on the specific moment he was referencing, “I broke my wine glass.”

“Yeah!” He nodded, tilting his head to look at you. “Steve’s a funny guy.”

You shoved him playfully, “Are you going to rhapsodize about Steve now?”

“No! No.” Javier made a sound that very nearly sounded like a giggle. “He swears he didn’t know that we were orbiting each other.”

“Orbiting each other.” You mocked, sitting up to grab the joint, taking another hit as you laid back on the bed. 

“He swears he didn’t really know just how bad we had it for each other—“

“Bullshit!” You called out dramatically and you both started laughing. 

“He knew. Of course he knew. That jackass.” He took the joint from you and took two puffs off it. “But that night — son of a bitch — he told me I was holding you back. That as long as I acted like I had feelings for you, you weren’t going to ever look for someone.”

You frowned, “He wasn’t wrong.”

“Made me feel like an asshole, baby.” He rubbed his hand over his chest, like he’d been injured. “It's why, I…”

“Was that’s why you wanted to drive me home?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged, “He made it sound like I needed to set you free and…”

You dropped the joint back into the ashtray and cut him off before he could finish. You planted your hand over his mouth and scrambled to straddle him. “No. We’re not doing sad.” You warned him. “Wanna know a secret?”

He licked the palm of your hand. 

“Javier.”

He nodded. 

“I wanted to go home with you.” You confessed, leaning forward so your nose brushed against his. “I got myself off thinking of you.” You slowly pulled your hand away, “I was so certain 1992 was going to be a shit year. They were thinking about leaving and everything was falling apart but, I thought — I didn’t fuck it up with Javier, I’ve still got him.”

His hands went to your hips, “And you do. I could never up and leave you, baby.”

You leaned in and kissed him, “If we weren’t married, I’d marry you all over again.”

“Yeah?” Javier grabbed at your hips and you shivered, you loved how much more every little touch felt like. “I can’t wait to tell pops.”

You grinned as you laughed, “He’s gonna be so fucking excited.” You nipped at his bottom lip. “I hope we run into Lorraine at the toy store again.”

“Jesus Christ.” Javier groaned, “Why bring up her? I’m feeling good baby.”

You bumped your nose against his, “Because I’m vindictive.” You grinned down at him. “And I love proving people wrong.” You traced your finger down his nose. “But I know the Javier that no one can see.”

“You do.” He parted his lips as you ran your finger over his lips. “We both know the real us.”

“I really like us.” You mused, “I think we’ve done really well for ourselves.”

Javier nodded his head, “I do too.” He played with the hem of your sweater, “Didn’t you say you were warm, baby?”

“Trying to get me undressed?” You questioned, giggling as you let him peel the sweater off your body.

“Maybe.”

“Turnabout, babe.” You quipped as you wrestled with the buttons of his shirt until it fell open. 

“You know… my knees aren’t hurting.” He pointed out, running his hand over your bare arms as he looked up at you. “But I can’t tell if I want to fuck your or just hold you.” Javier laughed and you couldn’t help but join in on the pure joy that was in his laughter. 

“It’s funny isn’t it?” You questioned, playing with the hair that fell against his forehead. “Am I horny? Or do I just want to be held?”

“What do you want?” Javier questioned, running his hands over your skin anywhere he could reach. Which you definitely enjoyed. 

“As tempted as I am to take advantage of your very exuberant self,” You leaned down to kiss him, playing your tongue over his bottom lip. “I just want to be held. Right now, at least.”

“Whatever you want, baby.” Javier promised you, leaning up to meet your lips again. 

Somehow he managed to maneuver both of you up the bed with you still on his lap, while you clutched at the ashtray so you could stick on the nightstand. 

You rolled onto the bed beside him, staring up at the ceiling as you sank into the warmth of the high buzzing through you. Your eyes felt heavy, but you ignored it — you really did need to sleep tonight. But it wasn’t tonight yet. 

“Do you like it?”

“It’s different.” He held his hands up in front of his face. “I feel like there’s this… space in between me and me.”

“Weird, right?”

“And my pops does this?”

You nodded, “Your body gets used to it after awhile. You’re still high just not quite as… tingly.”

“It’s nice though.”

You rolled onto your side and draped your arm over his chest. “I want you to feel good.”

“I do.” He brushed his fingers over your hair. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.” You grinned, meeting his gaze before you both descended into laughter. “You’re so dorky.”

“Who me?”

“Yes. You’ve got this dorky face thing going on.” You gestured to his face. “You’ve taken five years off. At least.”

“Mmm, that could work in our favor.”

You swatted his chest and snorted, “Please. No. I can’t believe she even insinuated that! What a bitch.”

“You were incredible yesterday.” He told you warmly, stroking his fingers through your hair. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” You sank into his side. “I’m just… if I rest my eyes for five minutes will you still hold me?”

“I’ll hold you until the end of time, baby.”

“That sounds like a long time.”

“Yeah? Well, it’s forever.” He kissed your temple. “Relax, baby. Just sleep. And then we can… I’m a little tired too. Hungry and tired.”

“That’s nice.” You mumbled, pressing your face into the crook of his neck, before two sleepless nights got the better of you. 

[prettyboongi]

BTS Reaction: They React To You Speaking A Different Language (When Waking Up/Falling Asleep)

[Note: Hi readers! This fanfic is inspired by my very first request! And hopefully it won’t be the last. To be honest, this request was pretty challenging and it took me awhile to figure out how to go about it. At the end, I decided not to specify the language that Y/N speaks since I don’t want to alienate anyone. This one is definitely less than perfect, so constructive criticism is welcomed. But I do hope that you guys (especially the requester ^_-) enjoy it! Peace!]

Seokjin 

You and Jin absolutely loved your "Movie Night Fridays”. Not only do you two get to spend quality time together, you two also took turns when it comes to picking that night’s movie. And tonight was your turn - your pick: an underrated animated Disney flick - and you were excited. 

However, there was one issue at hand: you were unbelievably exhausted. All day, you were busy helping your best friend move into her new place and you didn’t anticipate her having so many things to take with her. Common sense tells you you should just turn in early but you decided against it. Especially knowing that Jin himself will be super busy the entire weekend. 

As you two were watching the film, you felt your eyes getting heavier and heavier. It also didn’t help that you were extremely cozy in your favorite sweatpants and hoodie while snuggled under Jin’s soothing arm. Jin was unaware of your internal battle as he was too invested in the movie. It wasn’t until he heard you softly snoring that he attention was brought to you. 

He gently shook up your shoulder and said in a low voice, “Hey honey, wake up. Let’s get you to bed.” In response you mumbled something he couldn’t quite catch. “Hmm?”

Half awake, you started whining something in your native tongue, which at first confuses Jin since he had no clue what you were saying. But as you collapsed into his lap and immediately fell back to sleep, he couldn’t help but smile at your vulnerable state. 

“You’re too cute, Y/N,” Jin says to himself. He then turns off the movie and carefully carries you to bed. 

Yoongi

It was a calm, lazy Sunday afternoon when you and Yoongi decided to take a nice nap together. Well, it was calm before your slumber was interrupted by the sound of Yoongi’s phone. Despite its blaring sound, Yoongi was still peacefully asleep, like the lazy cat that he is. 

Annoyed and still heavy with sleep, you grabbed Yoongi’s phone and turned to shake him awake. Still not waking up, you get even more annoyed and start yelling at him as you shake him even harder. Without noticing, you yelled for him to wake up in your native language, which startled him as he finally woke up. It takes him a few seconds to register what was going on but pieces everything together with the sound of his ringtone and disgruntled expression on your face. 

Once Yoongi takes the phone from you and leaves for the other room, you lay back in bed and, in no time, continue your nap. 

Hoseok 

“Ugh, why is he taking so long?!.” you angrily say to yourself, sitting patiently on the couch. 

You were waiting for Hoseok to come back home from picking up food at your favorite restaurant. And honestly, you felt like he was taking a little too long with the food. Your precious food. You tried calling him to see what was the hold up but no answer from him. 

“I’m starving,” you whined in your head. You realized that whining and being angry wasn’t going to make the food immediately arrive, so you tried your best to relax. You laid down on your sofa, your head comfortably on a soft throw pillow and closed your eyes. You focused on your breathing for a few minutes which definitely helped calm your nerves. It also helped you pass out right on the couch. 

“Hey sorry babe,” Hoseok says as he walks into the apartment, setting the containers of takeout on the kitchen counter. “They made a mistake with our order, that’s why the wait was long. And I know I would be the one to suffer if I brought home the wrong food,” he trails as he realized he was talking to himself. “Y/N?” he calls out with no answer. He walks around the apartment, only finding you moments later, snoozing on the couch. 

“Awwww,” he coos while walking towards you. He then shakes you gently to wake you up, “Baby, the food’s here.”

You stir a bit before propping yourself up with your left elbow. Still half asleep, you look at Hoseok with drowsy eyes and softly mutters a phrase in your mother’s tongue. You weren’t fully aware of what you were saying but that didn’t stop it from stirring a certain feeling in Hoseok. Despite you rarely speaking your native language around him, it drove him crazy of how deep and sultry your voice sounded while speaking. In other words, it turned him on quite a bit. 

He took your dozy face and kissed you passionately, fully waking you up now. You broke away from his lips and said, “What about the food?” Hoseok looked at you with hungry eyes and replied with, “A little more waiting couldn’t hurt.”

Namjoon

 “You said that you’d take a break and take me out to lunch,” you said to Namjoon. 

You have been hanging out with Namjoon at his studio, as he was working on the groups’ upcoming album. Initially thinking it would be fun to spend some time with your loving boyfriend, witnessing his genius at work, you were just bored out of your mind. As an excuse to get out of the stuffy studio, you suggested he’d take a break and go to a nearby cafe together. But if Namjoon was known for one thing, it was his extreme perfectionism.  

“And I told you I will, once I was done with this song,” Namjoon answered back, keeping his eyes on the computer screen. 

“You also said that two hours ago!,” you whimper. 

“Be patient, my pet. I swear I’m almost done, then we can go.” 

You wanted to take his word but it’s really hard to, especially since you’ve been waiting on him for so long. But you didn’t want to leave him; any opportunity to hang out with Joon, you took it no matter what. The only thing you could do was jst to wait. 

You sat on the couch opposite from him and laid your head on the armrest. While you weren’t necessarily sleepy, the sound of Namjoon tinkling away on his computer combined with the soft glow that illuminated the studio made you feel relaxed. You eyes soon began to flutter and you found yourself drifting off to sleep. 

Not noticing that you were dozing off, Namjoon asks, “So which cafe did you want to go to: the one in the building or down the street?”  

You weren’t fully fast asleep yet and caught his question in time. However, while in your sleepy state, you answer him in your native language. 

Namjoon stopped what he was doing for a moment. Even though he understood what you said since he was pretty fluent in the language himself, he was confused since you two never used it with each other. 

“Why are you speaking in…,” he begins as he looks back to you, trailing off once he finds you asleep on the couch. He contemplates waking you up or leaving you alone to nap, but he ultimately chooses the former. He knew how much you wanted to spend some time together and didn’t want to disappoint you. 

He walks over to you and light taps on your shoulder, walking you up. “Ready to go?” he playfully asks you. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you only reply with a smile on your face. 

Jimin 

After finishing a recent comeback, the guys thought it would do them good to take a small vacation and decided to stay in LA for a little bit. Despite having so much fun with everyone, visiting historical landmarks and stopping by so many food stops, Jimin really missed you and wished that you were with him. He offered to fly out where he was but you had other important obligations to take care of. 

“Don’t worry about me, Jimin. Go ahead and have fun with the others,” he remembers you saying to him the last time you two spoke on the phone. He tried his best to keep his mind off you, but so many things made him think of you. “I wonder if Y/N has ever heard of this place?” “I bet Y/N would love street tacos.” Your attempts to hide your true feelings to the guys was in vain as they could sense that you were in his mind for the majority of the trip. 

After spending the entire morning and most of the afternoon sightseeing, he decides to give you a call once he gets back to their hotel room. He suspected it had to be morning where you were at and assumed you would be awake by now. He was right about it being early - way too early in your opinion - but you were in no way up yet. He clicks on your contact and waits for you to answer. 

“Hello,” he heard you answer. Your voice was groggy and raspy but Jimin was too chipper to notice. He was just so happy to hear you. 

“Hi honey!,” Jimin says into the phone, “Oh man, you don’t know how happy I am to hear your voice. Today’s been so busy for me. How’s your morning going?” 

Since you just woke up, it takes you a few seconds to fully understand Jimin’s simple question and you proceed to answer. Just in your native language. The one that Jimin was in no way fluent in. 

“Huh?”, Jimin responds perplexedly, “Y/N?” 

Hearing him say your name snaps you out of your sleepy state and realizes what you just said (or at least how you said it). Flustered, you gave yourself facepalm. “Oh sorry,” you apologized weakly, “I haven’t gotten up yet.” But all you could hear on the other was Jimin giggling hysterically, unable to control himself. “Hey!,” you said with a slightly annoyed tone, “What’s so funny, Park?” 

“Sorry honey,” Jimin says in between fits of laughter, “You’re just so freaking cute.” 

Taehyung

It was only recently that you and Taehyung decided to get your own place together. You two have dating for about two and thought it was about time. Sure, Taehyung did miss living with the guys and they missed him too. But Taehyung just loved you so much and wanted to take the next step in adulthood with you. 

For the most part, you and Taehyung made perfect housemates. You two divided chores evenly and neither nagged the other to do them. You cooked most of the meals, though Tae made it up with running whatever errand you asked of him. And most importantly, any conflict that arose, the two nipped it in the bud before the problem got worse. Yes, living at peace together was absolute paradise. 

Nevertheless, there was just one thing that Taehyung had a rather tough time getting used to: it was your sleep talking. Whether it was you walking him up in the middle of the night spouting gibberish or you mumbling incoherent phrases while taking a long nap, it would always catch Taehyung off guard. It wasn’t that he was annoyed or bothered by your sleep talking, it simply creeped him out. And avoid making you feel bad about it, he never brought it up. 

However, one night had to be Taehyung’s strangest encounter with you and, specifically, your sleep talking. It had been hours when you and Taehyung turned in for bed and both of you were fast asleep. A sudden movement of the bed had woken up Tae. He assumed you were leaving for the bathroom and tried to go back to sleep. But once he heard your voice in a strange tone, his eyes bolted open. He turned to you and found you sitting straight up, gazed fixed upon the front of you. 

“Y/N? You okay?,” he asked you but you didn’t respond. After a moment, you begin to speak in a deliberate yet monotone voice, all the while speaking in your native language. Your eyes were still staring into the darkness and you sounded as if you were reciting some demonic spell. You even heard his name a couple of times throughout your monolog, which didn’t help at all. Taehyung wondered if waking you up would’ve been a smart idea but honestly he was too spooked to move. This lasted a couple of minutes and when you were finished, you laid back on in bed and went fast asleep. Leaving a baffled and scared Taehyung, asking himself, “What the fuck just happened?”

The next morning, Taehyung walked into the kitchen, finding you making breakfast. 

“Morning, Tae,” you exclaimed in a cheery voice, “You hungry?”

Still disturbed from what happened, Taehyung stuttered a “Yes, sure”.

“What’s wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost.” 

Taehyung chuckled nervously, not daring to say anything. 

Jungkook 

"Tonight was really great, Kookie. Thanks for taking me out." 

You and Jungkook were driving home after a spending date night at a restaurant Jin recommended. 

At the steering wheel, Jungkook glances at you for a second and smiles. "You're very welcome, baby, I'm happy you had a great time. I really have to thank Jin hyung once I get home."

Date nights with Jungkook were always fun and this one was no exception. It didn't matter what you two ended up doing, there was never a dull moment between you two. You were just so happy to be with someone you can be fully relaxed with. 

The drive home was very calming. The warm glow of the city lights and the R&B music playing softly on the radio created a very chill vibe around you. Maybe a little two chill since you were beginning to fall asleep. 

Not taking his eyes off the road, Jungkook asks, " Hey, are you in the mood for some ice cream? I know this great place nearby, you'll love it." 

Still somewhat conscious but very close to falling to passing out, you answer sleepily in your native language. 

"What? Is that a yes?" he asks perplexedly but you don't answer. When he stops at the red light, he looks over to you. You were fast asleep, your head leaning on the glass window. 

Jungkook smiles softly to himself and gently runs your knee. "Time to get you home," he says quietly and drives into the night. 

[love-and-anarchy-au]

Love & Anarchy: Chapter 14

well well, we finally got to this cringy chapter yeeyy xd but seriously, this chapter does give me cringe vibes; its crucial though. ONE THING: for picturing Gatlon, i inspire in big cities like NY as also C.A.B.A. (Ciudad Autonoma de Buenos Aires). it’s a bit of both, but in this chapter, a particular situation that happened to david & alec, is based on actual events that happened here in argentina back in 2017/2018 (i dont remember exactly when). OF COURSE ITS STILL FICTION AS ALEC’S REACTION IS RELATIONED TO IMPOSSIBLE SUPER POWERS (digo esto pa que no me maten por no ser cien por ciento accurate). i have nothing else to say, enjoy this chapter (so sorry if your eyes bleed with so many straight things).

REMEMBER THIS AU HAPPENS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE THAT THIS ONE

Find out what this AU is about here

Masterlist

Tag list: @healing-winston-pratt @dawniebb @obsidianfr3sk @nodrianbcyes @everyone-has-a-nightmare @magykaldealings @quinterickson @cerenoya @cassin-the-assasin

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Part 2: A teen named Ace Artino

15 years old Alec  

   “Ace, you there?”

    Alec didn't move, but Alexandra walked into his room anyway. Click clock click clock.

    “You okay?” Alexandra whispered.

    “Never,” Alec muttered bleakly.

    Only God knew what time it was when Alexandra entered Alec's room without warning, as she used to do. Her boots clicked on the bare concrete floor. The shapes were diffuse shadows and the only light was that one coming through Alec's window: a warm and cold light, product of Gatlon's various lights. He felt the weight of Alexandra being close to him, as the mattress became even thinner than  it already was...which was a lot  to say because that mattress was already paper thin on.

    Alec had been deep in his thoughts, sticky as tar, and heavy as chains. Alec's day had been difficult: he had had to go with his brother David to the other side of the city, to the east center, and help him sell his metals. David was not the most talkative person of all, and his presence only made him think of Julieta; he didn't like being around him; all those years he had tried to let go of his dead sister's voice, and he had succeeded, but being with David made him feel like the helpless, defenseless child he was back then, the same child that had not been able to save his sister and  hadn’t been strong enough to defend himself from his abusive father, either.

    Anyways, David and him had settled on a wide sidewalk, with no shops, just drab and clean apartments, since they were in one of the most wealthy suburbs of Gatlon City. They spread their gray and threadbare blanket, and scattered the metal goods on it. There were three clients and two reproaches from the neighbors until the police arrived and threw them out for not having the necessary sales permit. David nodded, since he was used to being thrown out of the places where he sold his metals, but Alec did not move, not knowing why he had been petrified but aware that it was not right for them to be thrown out of each place and sentenced to another missing dinner. He looked the policeman in the eyes and held his gaze, because not selling metals implied not having money, and not having money implied not being able to pay the mortgage, not being able to pay for David's school, not being able to pay the bills and above all, not having food.

    Alec refused to leave without selling all the goods.

    He didn't want to go through another night without eating.

    He didn't want to have to depend on his friends, no matter how selfless they were when it came to him.

    The boy took a deep breath and puffed out his chest, as if collecting courage to say something.

    It wasn’t enough.

    The policeman looked at him superior.

    “Leave,” he ordered and turned his back on them.

    And that ignited the trigger to Alec's powers.

    His invisible hands carefully took the policeman's revolver, which was on his hip, and brought it into Alec's real hands, in the blink of an eye. Alec didn't have time to realize what he had just done, nor did anyone else. His hands of flesh and blood held that artifact of metal, gunpowder and death.

    David looked at him with wide eyes.

    They said: “What have you done?”

    Alec looked at him in alarm, the deadly object still in his hands, which they held in a foreign manner, like a bomb. That object gave him so much power, so much authority, all because everyone feared pain, death...

    He didn't want that power.

    So he dropped the gun and ran off, not seeing where he was going.

    He turned into an alley and hid there, behind a dumpster, hugging his legs with his arms, until David found him and knelt beside him. He had a bruise on his right cheekbone.

    “David…” Alec began to apologize.

    His brother shook his head and placed his golden hand on Alec's shoulder.

    “I think you shouldn't come with me anymore.”

    A lump formed in Alec's throat.

    “I'm sorry, David.”

    David smiled sadly.

    “I know you are.”

    And he stood up and left.

    For the rest of the day, David and Alec did not speak to each other. The words his brother had spoken to him echoed in Alec's brain over and over again and made him feel guilty and stupid. It had not been his intention to steal the gun from the policeman, or to flee the consequences like a coward, or for his brother to receive his first beating for having defended him, or to have been another annoyance.

    However, perhaps it had been his intention and for that he felt guilty.

    Alec had no idea.

    He only knew that he felt bad and that he would not be able to sleep that night.

    Something that was more likely now that Alexandra had come over.

    Alec took a deep breath and turned his body to the side where the girl was.

    Alexandra shook her head, shaking her sparse, thick oil-black hair, and sat closer to Alec. She took his hand, and massaged it, just like Julieta used to do. Lately, everything reminded him of his childhood, as much as he wanted to leave behind that bloody and sunny past ...

    “Why are you here?” Alec asked, in a whisper.

    Alexandra smiled wistfully.

    “Am I bothering you? If so, I can leave.”

    Alec shook his head.

    “Never.”

    Alexandra massaged his hand harder.

    “I want to ask you something.”

    Alec smiled weakly. Talking to Alexandra distracted him from his regrets and his past, and he liked that. Alexandra was the present lived to the fullest, which was what Alec was looking for.

    “Go ahead.”

    Alexandra inhaled and blurted out, in a rush of words:

    “Do you wanna go out with me?”

    Alec froze, this time from uncertainty and not from sleep.

    “Is this a dream?” Alec asked, extremely confused. Had he heard the question correctly...?

    Alexandra laughed softly and replied mischievously:

    “Why? Do you dream about me, Alec Artino?”

    Alec's cheeks burned, invisible in the gloom. Alec appreciated that. To take weight off Alexandra's question, he replied:

    “Sometimes. I also dream about James.”

    Alexandra laughed again, this time her laugh was breathless and broken . They were both lucky that Alec's father was not in the apartment, and that David was a heavy sleeper  (it was easier to wake God from his eternal sleep than David Artino to go to Mass on Sundays or to school every weekdays).

    “You two would be the perfect couple,” Alexandra commented sarcastically.

    “Then why are you asking me out?” replied Alec.

    Alexandra closed her mouth and fell silent, thinking.

    “Why not? I like you, you’re handsome and on top of that, you’re sharp as a tack. Besides, there doesn’t have to be a reason for everything, ya know?”

    Alec's cheeks were suffering the worst of fires.

    “Did you just call me ‘handsome’?” Alec inquired, trying to deflect the question he had asked. He wasn't ready to answer it.

    “Yes, I did,” Alexandra replied and Alec felt Alexandra's sweet artificial cherry breath on his skin. They were close, close, close.

    Alec was afraid of the possible question Alexandra might ask him.

    Or that she had already done to him, without words.

    “Can I kiss you?” Alexandra whispered in Alec's ear.

    There it is.

    God, Alec wasn't ready for that.

    He loved Alexandra very much but he was not ready to kiss her.

    He wasn't ready to kiss anyone, in fact.

    He was just so ... confused. Insecure. Nervous. Anxious.

    He didn’t want to mess it up.

    How do you mess up a kiss?

    “No,” Alec replied, on a gasp.

    That’s how.

    “It's okay,” Alexandra said, in a compassionate voice, as she stepped away from Alec, making the mattress a millimeter thicker, and moving closer to the window, her boots tapping rhythmically again. She was ready to go back from where she had come from 

    “But I do want to date you,” Alec continued, propping himself up on his elbows, a little more upright than before. Alexandra turned to see him. Her face was a blur in the dark.

    “Really?”

    “Really. This isn’t a dream, right?” Alec joked and got out of bed, unintentionally ripping its threadbare sheet from it. The ground was cold and rough, and his skin felt an electrifying sting as it came into contact with it. His steps were as silent as his presence in society.

    “Right,” Alexandra replied.

    They were face to face, although Alec was slightly shorter because of Alexandra's tall boots. He looked into her eyes, which were the only thing visible on her face, as they shone with the low light inside (which was a product of the outside). Alec smiled, and Alexandra must have seen him, because she smiled too.

    “But why?” Alec questioned and earned an exasperated snort from Alexandra.

    “Why not?”

    “Why yes?”

    “Why not?!”

    Alec laughed and then covered his mouth, realizing that he had laughed very loudly and that his father would come looking for him, and hit him for...for...

   Alexandra hugged him, to calm him from all the nerves he had.

   Papà is not here, he reminded himself.

   He exhaled hard and shook like a leaf in a hurricane.

   “I feel like James right now,” Alec muttered.

   “Why?” Alexandra asked.

   “Why not?” Alec joked. Alexandra hit him with her elbow.

   “Seriously, why?”

   Alec sighed.

   “Because you two are always fighting.”

   Alexandra laughed.

   “Indeed.”

   Alexandra took Alec's hands, which were shaking. The wind enveloped them, they were in the center of an imaginary tornado. So many memories, feelings, laughs, words, all envelopping their hearts, like a windy hug.

   Leaves and houses, cars and glasses, all and all in the center of the wind...

   It had been so long since Alec sang that song.

   He left it singing deep in his mind.

   Alec returned to the present, to Alexandra's eyes, to her hands, to her lips...

   “I want to date you ‘cause I believe we both deserve love. You're a genius, Ace, never forget that, please,” Alexandra explained and leaned closer to Alec. He gulped.

   God.

   The tornado swam more turns per minute. More images, more sounds, more feelings running through his veins.

   “This is weird,” Alec commented, trying to calm himself.

   Alexandra smiled sadly.

   “I know. If you're not comfortable…”

   Alec shook his head.

   “I am comfortable, it's just that this is...unexpected,” Alec explained, trying to choose the correct words.

   Alexandra nodded and then changed her sad smile for a mischievous one.

   “You really didn’t see it comin’?”

   Alec shrugged and Alexandra giggled.

   “You really are adorable.”

   Alec frowned. He didn't know how to feel when he was complimented. His head was spinning round and round.

   Alexandra sighed.

   “Well, Acey darlin', I gotta go.”

   Alec nodded and walked Alexandra to the window. Alexandra put both of her legs through the metal frame and sat there. Before she started to slide down the metal ladder below, she placed a kiss on Alec’s forehead, one that he felt stickier than expected (maybe because of the gloss she was using 24/7).

    Alexandra was beautiful under the lights of Gatlon City. Her black low-cut dress, her stolen leather boots (her only pair of boots), her blood-red lips, her sparkling eyes, her honey-sticky gaze. Her hair was tousled by the wind, and her expression was wild.

    She was the living image of rebellious youth.

    And she was beautiful.

    Alec smiled, happy that Alexandra had asked him out, for having said yes, because he was him, because she was her and not someone else, and also, because all the anguish and tar in his mind had spread.

    “Bye bye, see ya later,” Alexandra said goodbye and began to descend, while spiders and spiders came to her aid, one that Alec did not understand how it worked. Nor did he understand how Alexandra managed   to avoid falling into the void that ended in concrete and cement, but there were things that were better not to ask.

    “Bye,” Alec said and returned to his bed, with electrified feet, a smile on his lips and a tornado in his heart. With his mind he drew the piece of cloth that was supposed to be a sheet and covered himself with it. The smile on his lips seemed indelible.

    Alexandra had chosen him.

    Him.

    The least desirable being in the entire galaxy, chosen by youth and rebellious beauty embodied in a human being. He, a boy marked with leather belts wielded by his father; she, a girl marked by her own hands, in the absence of parental figures. The two alone, the two found. A smile like a nuclear explosion, a presence like a constant breeze. Both different, both the same.

    Both together.

    Alec closed his eyes.

    Everything would be fine as long as he was with Alexandra, the girl that seemed to be immortal as time itself. She was his laugh, his everything among nothing.

    For once in his life, he didn’t regret anything.

    He smiled all night long.