#i am so bad for explaining sob
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Hii so I just wanna say I love your art! It is so lively and vibrant, and this leads me to a little question, how do you color your ilustrations? I am struggling with colors rn so I hope I am not a bother.
I wish you a good day <3
Hiii !! Sorry omg I didn't see your ask 😭
Huhh it is kinda hard to explain,, maybe showing you speedpaint might give you an idea !
And i tend to pick color in this area !
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I’m so not okay… I’m not okay at all actually…
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#no no no no no no because i am still crying… sobbing actually…#i cannot do this guys… it’s impossible to recover from this because i can’t stop watching the episode…#i want to hug dabi so bad like— i don’t even know how to explain all the things i’m feeling right now…#i knew this episode would break me BIG TIME… but to this point????#my heart keeps clenching everytime i remember what i’ve seen this episode and god…#it hits already enough when reading it… but HEARING all of it???? that hurts on a whole different level…
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oughghghhghghhhhhgh (vent)
#I've literally had an anxiety attack nearly everyday this month#I've been so spacey#I've had two major meltdowns (this past Monday and last Monday)#i am like! deeply not okay!!#i dont really wanna talk about it with anyone or be comforted about it directly just.#blugh. i had to email my therapist for a bonus session next week ):#i am like. so deeply Not okay. i really did not need this info. i really wish it would've been tempered in the Slightest#months old pain that i Made the Decision to not mess with BC IT WAS COMPLICATED THEN!!!!!! now just shoved in my face like nothing😝#^^^^^^ will not explain this do not ask#shame and confusion i chose to accept not having a perfect answer/closure for ripped out and theres a gaping hole where that healing was#oh gd i am sobbing in the work bathroom#just a couple of days hopefully before i can see therapist and tlak thru thid#i want to hide and be left alone until then so bad ;~;
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THEY ARE COMING
THEY ARE COMING
#sobbing crying throwing up#metallica#I WAS SO SAD THAT THEY DIDNT COME TO ITALY FOR THIS TOUR#i dont think that they'll have their stage. which is fine by me#but in the tickets options there isnt the snake pit#just... golden circle? and it doesn't explain what the golden circle is??#anyway the price is not bad at all so i am def taking the super duper package whatever that will be#jinn out#I AM SO HAPPY!!!!
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Okay but like I really need to rant about this a bit so like spoilers for ep 3 of tlou below but like
idk I’ve never played the game so I had no idea what to expect going into this, but when Frank showed up, I was like “I can’t tell if Bill is going to kill him or marry him.” WELL. Nick Offerman did such a GOOD job of looking on guard and uncomfortable. His shoulders are like up to his ears the entire meeting sequence and it made me so jumpy, and then we skip 3 years and he’s so visibly relaxed. And my heart started to melt. And I found myself so enamored with these two men who, against all odds, found love in a situation where that should have been impossible. Frank was the last alive from a group fleeing a collapsed quarantine zone, Bill a preper who had decided to be alone long before the pandemic even started. We expect Bill to die the whole time--comments about him getting old faster than Frank, getting shot by raiders. The jump to Frank being sick...they showed so much through his paintings. You weren’t expecting it, and they showed you through his art how his illness has been progressing, and how him being able to see that himself affected him. They showed how Bill broke down and made a deal with Joel to get medicine despite saying he never would. This show. THIS SHOW. I was sobbing up until Bill became weirdly calm during the dinner, because I realized he’d made the decision too. They died on their own terms in a world where that had become nearly impossible. They had a beautiful life together in a world where that had become a pipe dream. Two characters that we never even meet thru the main characters, not in the present day, but who matter so much.
#also i have a lot of feelings as a chronically ill artist about everything with Frank (not bad ones! just like i feel a lot 🥲)#it hit close to home#honestly bill resonated with me too but not bc of the preper conspiracy theorist part lol#more bc of the self-imposed solitude and not seeking out relationships#i know from other posts that this is nothing like how they were in the game but this seems like such an improvement tbh#like this episode deserves awards for how much it hit me in the feels#tlou hbo spoilers#the last of us spoilers#it's 5 am so like i am not coherent but i also cannot sleep#idk how we got my horror-hating mom hooked on this show and now we're making her sob over gay romance like#that right there tells you this show is good lol#i feel like i could write an entire book on how illness can impact art and handwriting#my handwriting became that of an entirely different person when i started to get sick#my drawings changed too#tho maybe not in a way anyone but me noticed#my friend who has a similar health issue just with more presentation had to give up art almost entirely#idk it's a kind of hard i can't explain and that i dont think you can understand unless you've experienced it yourself#seeing the progression of your symptoms in the things you create#seeing how you're unable to hide it even with care#idk man#it's honestly an emotion i dont think i could name#but i feel it so strongly every time i look at more than a few lines i've written by hand#or at a page of studies ive drawn#i feel like they never made frank a tragic character. they never made illness tragic#they just made it real#the tragic theme was the idea of one without the other and it went both ways#they hit on that repeatedly throughout the ep#and in the end they didn’t have to face that tragedy#idk i feel like it’s one of the few depictions of chronic illness/terminal illness ive seen that doesn’t play the illness as tragedy#and i found that…refreshing
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Skypiea time
Robin saying that because I know she only got on a ship to then leave it...
Nami sees Conis and gets sanji out of there so SHE can talk to her akdhksajka not a single second lost
Hello my favourite panel of nami maybe ever
Sillies...
CHOPPER YOU ARE THE CUTEST
Robin throws this guy off a cliff and to make just to make sure she breaks his neck too akdjsksk who is doing it like her???
OMG ACE!!!! IT IS TIME!!!!
#luffy being jealous of nami handling the waver.... sibling behaviour#so many robin chopper moments my god... and zoro still mistrusting here... the coparenting of chopper is just beggining#already needing a ship carpenter damn..... franky i miss you#robin saying to nami she is brave for jumping off the ship and then telling chopper to please be careful.... yeah.... 🥺#luffy saying that they will fall off the island if they take the wrong door and they immediately fall qldjsonwlssls#and luffy just says that was all usopp! we failed! and it is not shown but i know he is smiling#i have gotten used to seeing luffy with his shirt open and the x scar i got surprised when i realized he doesnt have it yet.... oof#the priests having “mantra” aka haki is so op for the second island like damn.. and they got BEAT.... losers#the city of gold aka vearth aka part of jaya went into the sky 400 years ago ✍️✍️#robin wanting to stop the campfire so they dont give away their position... she doesn't need to hide anymore!!! party time#life's 36 agonies... zoro is so deep when he wants to... also first pondo hou attack... why against thus random man tho akdjsksl#shandora fell 800 years ago ✍️✍️#laki.... and wiper ... this hit so much harder in the show tho.... my bad... maybe they put some flashbacks in here instead of wherever els#wait wait.... shandia fell 800 years ago when the world gov was formed and robin just found a poneglyph that says they went to wat with the#enemy... so the shandians were enemies to the world gov i am sure of it... like the d clan and probably the ryugu kingdom and wano too#this shit is so interesting like there must be a reason roger came there last and with oden to read the poneglyphs AND LEAVE A MESSAGE#having robin and zoro fighting enel right now is so good man.... zoro learning to trust her since he has issues with her since the start...#i dont think there has been a villain that has been more scary than enel... they were terrified about his powers... apart from sabaody#never getting over nami being the one to witness the horrors this arc and then volunteering to go woth enel.. paralel to her with arlong to#where did conis get a bazooka 😭😭 i mean slay wait why does she want to off herself by proxy of enel... they hated jesus too conis its okay#ace wearing red in the cover story.... idk where im going with this it is his color... not taking luffys yellow with him for the search?#SANJI HOLDING USOPPS HAND SLEEPING IS ALSO ANIME ONLY??? AJDJAJAK NOOOOOO they keep putting in the homoeroticism#usopp and nami fighting enel is so funny this is something else.... hag reunion 🫂 hag struggle 🫂 and sanji stepping in at the end... 👌🏻#the girl they are about to sacrifice looks like laki and she is karugaras daughter and then wyper is his descendant.... i see#oh here starts the love story central to the story.... truly i forgot karugara had a wife and a child... i see why#WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY FOUR CORNERS OF THE WORLD?? KARUGARA EXPLAIN#christ.... just the pages of textless panels about karugara and noland having fun together.... its enough to make a grown (wo)man cry#noland just laying on his side on a rock thinking about karugara you cant make this shit up#“the bell will always sound for you” while crying and sobbing.... are you kidding me... and then they can't come back 😭😭😭😭#reading one piece
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my late night near-breakdowns seem to follow a pattern. that being that if one day its a mental illness thing, the next it will be a "jesus i need him" thing.
anyway noone can know how badly i need this fictional man
#im am genuinely going to LOSE IT.#i wish writing was easy to me so i could be a lot more self-indulgent#unfortunately it is currently not. nor do i have the time to write anything#but good god#usually id go to my friends abt my stupid fictional character needs but. noone can know about this#because this specifica character i cannot explain to them#i will be judged so bad sobs
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AURGHH I KEEP FLASHBACKING TO THE AWKWARD SITUATION TODAY
#it feels unreal#gonna cry#I wish guys didn’t exist !!! that way I wouldn’t be so awkward around them !!!!#like it’s so mean to expect me to suddenly be okay with interacting with them when I’ve been shut out from them for most of my development#years#its like so unhealthy 🧍♀️#anyways I already have a tough time talking when I’m in a mildly stressful situation but …#like my words always get stuck in my throat / I just mumble random nonesense / I don’t know how to articulate my thoughts / stammering#I’m a rlly anxious person and it’s rlly debilitating 🧎♀️#who ever thinks stammering is cute can respectfully … idk IM JUST LIKE 😭😭😭 how’s stammering cute I am stressed beyond belief !!!#I hate socialisation#anyways ughhh that was so embarrassing pls like now I think I made him feel bad about himself …#I didn’t mean to I swear I would never 😭 he just misunderstood me is all 😭#Muslim Girls CANT TOUCH ANY GUY INCLUDING HANDSHAKES FISTBUMPS ETC#pls … why are guys trying to fist bump me I am not a bro 😔#I Ran out of the lab basically#my mum when I told her the story she was sympathising w him more than me and said I should get over it !!!!#girl … I cannot stand men … even the normal ones creep me out to some extent#I’ve been shut out from them for centuries everyone wants a token goody two shoes good girl#who doesn’t talk to boys until she’s thrust into said mixed environment and is expected to deal with it how about no …#dora daily#yeah I dislike every male idk they make me feel weird ? it’s hard to explain 😭#it wouldn’t be that deep if everyone didn’t slaughter malala for the handshake UGHHH ID RATHER JUST SHAKE HIS HAND WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE#like on one hand I could’ve said hey I’m not allowed in my religion but doesn’t that just sound like rlly bad ?#the only thing I managed to tell him was after I stared at him like a deer in headlights was “uh …. I … can’t”#and he was like wdym you can’t LIKE LOOKING UPSET 😭#I DONT DO WELL WITH MAKING PPL UPSET IM SOBBING#I hope he didn’t take it personally it’s just 😭😭😭#anyways time to shut up !!!
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lol lmao when the people in your performance group project didn't prepare AT ALL for anything so now you have to attempt to edit what you filmed into something vaguely watchable and it's Not Working
#damien.txt#i've been doing this for like 4 hours now and tbh i don't think it's actually possible#it sounds and looks. so fucking bad. because no one is even attempting to act.#and im going to scream bc this is literally going to have my name attached to it ahahaha#like i can not emphasize enough how much no one attempted to act in this. fr. it's like. painful to go through#and no one memorized their lines!!! so im having to cut every 3 seconds and im trying to figure out how to make it seem natural#and it's just. not. obviously. because cuts every 3 seconds is not how people talk.#and literally i think im going to sob abt this but it's fine i guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it probably doesn't even matter That Much but literally this is for a grade why couldn't they give slightly more of a fuck#and at least have practiced. and had ANY concept of a character#this is a project we have all known we'd have to do ALL SEMESTER. they have had their rolls FOR A MONTH AND A HALF.#im just. AHHH. i hate having to be the leader in group projects. i hate trying to make people try. i hate having to mediate.#this group project has just literally been a nightmare i can't even explain. it would be too many tags. and this is already too many.#i am just. very frustrated. and this is due. in two days. fuck me i guess.
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NO ONE READ MY TAGS
wip! hes shy
#i'm... so... normal rn...#i'm so sane over him#HE MAKES ME FEEL NORMAL THINGS.#HOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE STOP THIS MADNESS#need him so bad#need him to be real so bad#this is a curse#dan heng </3#*falls to my knees* DAN HENGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#i would be so good to you#i am so good already#DAN HENG.#DAN HENG. THE MAN THAT YOU ARE.#every time i see him i giggle a little#some part of me ascends idk i can't explain it#DFHAFAP HUAMM AHUAMAM HAUMAM AHUAMAMAM#time to do my manifesting rituals#*cries*#i'm actually sobbing rn
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This is going to get me screencapped and ridiculed by leftblr but at this point I don't care.
The way people talk about Ruth Bader Ginsburg is misogynistic. This post is not about the merits of her decision to remain in her seat. I've discussed that before and I'm happy to go through it again with anyone who is genuinely interested in the complexities of that situation, but for the sake of this post, I am not arguing that it's unreasonable to believe, with the benefit of hindsight, that the country would be a in a better position today if Ginsburg had retired in 2012. The issue I want to address is how people talk about it.
People who blame Ginsburg for the current state of the Supreme Court tend to throw around words like greedy, selfish, and ambitious, echoing a familiar form of misogyny. Ambition is only bad when women demonstrate it, and women in politics are regularly punished for ambition. Even more disturbingly, people tend to blame not just Ginsburg, but the women and girls who looked up to her. I've seen the "Notorious RBG" nickname derided as a cult of personality, when the reality is that Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a trailblazer and a role model to a lot of women and girls. I've seen leftists try to hide behind valid criticisms of some of Ginsburg's positions (and it should, but doesn't, go without saying that you can see someone as a role model without believing they are correct about every issue all the time) but you barely have to scratch the surface to see that the real complaint is that they think women who admire her are cringe. I don't know if people understand how significant she was; she was only the second woman on the Supreme Court and the first, Sandra Day O'Connor, was a conservative Reagan appointee. Even so, Justice O'Connor spoke about the significance of Justice Ginsburg joining her and reality that women faced in their position being more apparent when she could see it happening to someone else. It's the same old anti-feminist story of dismissing women and their desires.
This particular case rankles me because it's underscored by the complete silence about Anthony Kennedy. Ruth Bader Ginsburg made a judgment call about her health that didn't work out--and barely; she died four months before Trump left office. Anthony Kennedy, a supposed moderate justice who claimed to not want Roe v Wade to be overturned, retired in 2018, knowing full well Trump would replace him with someone who would overturn Roe v Wade. It was Kennedy's replacement, not Ginsburg's, that doomed Roe. The decision was 6-3. If Ginsburg had lived four more months, or retired in 2012 and been replaced with an Obama appointee, the Dobbs v Jackson decision would have been 5-4 in the same direction. Anthony Kennedy was replaced with Brett Kavanaugh, a white man who sobbed crocodile tears when confronted with credible allegations of sexual assault and ultimately faced no consequences. Anthony Kennedy let all of this happen and slunk off into his cushy retirement. Where is the anger for him? He's alive! Being angrier at Ginsburg than Kennedy makes absolutely no sense. There is no logic to explain it, only misogyny.
It doesn't escape my notice that the anger at Ginsburg goes hand-in-hand with blaming women for their own suffering as a result of the Dobbs decision and with blaming Hillary Clinton for the 2016 election, while making any excuse for not voting for her or deriding her for months. It's emblematic of a political system that does not care about women and despises women trying to speak up and make our issues known.
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Our Tears Ricochet
Ambessa Medarda x Reader
Part 2 of: My Tears Ricochet
Synopsis: After walking in on a sight that you’d remember for endless nights to come—you mourn what is now seemingly the end of your marriage. However, Ambessa is determined not to let that happen—even if she had to get on her hands and knees.
cw; afab!reader; infidelity; heavy angst but happy ending; smut; more smut; Hex-strap; fingering ; did I mention smut? Ambessa being a bad wife but trying to fix it; not proofread; men and minors dni
Special thanks to @hell0-ki55y for original prompt and @fruitfulfashion for ending idea. Hope both of you enjoy (I’m not too good at writing smut so bear with me). 🎀
……
Your sobs were muffled by Mel’s chest as you leaned into her hold. Her slim fingers made her way through your now loose, frizzled hair. Your hands clenched onto her like a lifeline and right now—she was.
For a moment, she had a sense of deja vu. She remembered when she had first gotten her period when she was 13—the first step to becoming a woman, and instead of running to her real mother, she ran to you. You held her in your arms and the harder she cried, the tighter you hugged. The two of you rocked back and forth as she told you how scared she was, a vulnerability she couldn’t even share with her mother, and how you reassured her and cleared all doubts from her mind.
To you, the act may have thought to be necessary. An act of kindness any mother would show for their daughter. But to her, it was so much more. Every time the breeze blew in a certain way or the sun sat low in the sky—it reminded her of the warmth of your embrace. The warmth of your heart.
And now, she held you in her arms. She rocked you back and forth. And she let you cry out.
When your sobs finally died down, the two of you stayed silent for a moment. But there was a silent question in the air that had yet to be spoken, ‘What are you gonna do now?’.
Mel soothingly rubbed your arm as she looked down at you. “Do you need anything?”
You shook your head. What you needed was something she wasn’t able to give.
She took a shaky breath. “I know this is hard for you. She wasn’t always the most loving, but I never thought she would—”
She stopped as she closed her eyes and scrunched her nose. She shook her head. “I thought she loved you.”
You finally looked up at her through red and puffy eyes. You licked your chapped lips as your hoarse voice spoke, “Your mother does love me. We..wouldn’t have gotten married if she didn’t. I…”
Mel turned to you with an angry look. “Tsk. She doesn’t love you. She can’t. How do you explain what you just saw? You’ve been loyal to her for the entirety of your marriage and have stood by her when no one else did. You gave up so much for her. How can you sit here and say—”
You held Mel’s face in your hands as her own tears of frustration ran down her cheeks. You wiped them away as you spoke softly. “Mel, what your mother has done has hurt me in ways I hope you never experience. But I don’t want this to be another crack in your relationship. It’s already strained as it is. In no way am I justifying her actions but please…don’t let this affect you as much as it has me. A connection between mother and daughter is unlike any other—even one between spouses.”
Mel stared dumbfounded at your words, but stayed silent as you continued. “I love you Mel. Never forget that. Even if this causes a rift between your mother and I—I will love you no less.”
Mel fought back tears in her eyes as she held your gaze. She nodded at your words and leaned into your shoulder. You held her hands in your own. She spoke, barely above a whisper, but it was as loud as any shout—“I love you too, Mom.”
After a moment of silence, there was a vibration felt on the bed. She looked over at her phone with a mixture of annoyance and confusion.
As she checked to see whoever had messaged her, a look of realization crossed her features. “Shit!”
You looked at her, surprised at her language—but ultimately ignored it. “What’s going on?”
“I set up plans with Jayce a while back before you told me you were coming to Piltover. I totally forgot to reschedule…Now he’s on his way.”
She shook her head, “I’ll tell him to cancel and we can do it some other time. I know you need me right now.”
You shook your head, “No, no. I’ll be fine. Please, go enjoy yourself with this….Jayce.”
She looked at you softly, “Are you sure? I mean, we can always do it another time….”
You nodded, “Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”
She smiled as she kicked on her shoes as straightened up her hair and makeup. She threw on a robe as she changed out of her previous dress. She didn’t get the chance to choose one before she turned back to you.
You stared out the window in a pool of your own thoughts before you felt a tug on your arm.
“Come on, you’re coming with.”
“What?”, you said, surprised.
“You’re coming with Jayce and I. You said you wanted to meet him.”
You looked at her, considering her offer. “Look at me. I can’t go out like…this. I look and feel like I just had an emotional breakdown.”
She looked at you in silent agreement and ordered one of the maids outside to prepare a shower. She ushered you into the shower and said she’d be right outside if you needed her. You wanted to under the hot water, but you know you were on a tight schedule.
After you got out and dried your body and hair, she rushed over to her large vanity, pulling out a plethora of hair supplies. She ushered you over, and you sat in front of the mirror.
The two of you sat in a comfortable silence as she practically pampered you. She detangled, brushed, and curled your once frazzled hair. She pinned it back as she applied your preferred makeup from the bag you brought with you abroad.
The makeup was simple—yet it complimented your features. You hadn’t known Mel was so good at this. When she was small, she was gotten her first makeup kit that she begged to have for practically a year. You had been her first test subject. The looks you got from the nobles when you kept on the makeup throughout the day did little to dampen the wide smile of little Mel’s face.
When she was finally satisfied, she turned away from the vanity and started to put the things away. “Do you like it?”.
You nodded as a smile graced your features. You ran your fingers through your loose curls, careful not to mess them up. You felt prettier than you had in a long time.
“Good. Now we just need to pick an outfit.”
She went over to her closet as she raked through her many dresses. After a moment of indecisiveness, she picked a white satin off-shoulder dress that fell just above her knees, showing off her long legs. Her braids were done in a tight low bun as she let two frame the sides of her face.
Meanwhile, you were still struggling to find something to wear. You didn’t want anything too provocative since you were married despite the circumstances but you didn’t want to cover too much because of the relentless heat of Piltover.
You ended up choosing a sleeveless sage green dress with a heart neckline. It reached your ankles, being modest and flowy at the same time. You threw on a gold necklace and small diamond earrings.
Mel approached you as she took in your appearance. “You look…amazing, Mom.”
You smiled bashfully at her compliment. You threw on a purse as you both exited the room.
It was time for you to unwind.
….
The three of you ended up going to a nice restaurant not too far away. The sun was still high in the sky as the three of you looked outside the window at the beautiful view.
“So, how’d you meet my Mel?”, you asked—going into interrogation mode now that you all were seated.
The boy turned his attention to you, his charismatic personality slightly cracking under your gaze, “Well, uh—I’m actually working on a project here in Piltover. It was way before I became a council member. I was stationed in the main building and she just so happened to be there. We’ve been together ever since.”
Mel smiled, “I heard about him through the grape vine. One of the prodigies behind the Hextech. It was only a matter of time before the two of us met.”
The two were deeply in love—heart achingly so. It reminded you of when Ambessa first introduced herself to your own parents. She refused to crack under their scrutinizing gazes and answered every question as if she had meticulously prepared beforehand—which she probably did. It didn’t take long before your parents were nagging the two of you to get married.
“I take it you’ve met my wife?”, you asked.
Jayce visibly tensed at the mention of Ambessa. He took a sip of his fruit drink before clearing his throat, “I have. She was, uh….she definitely let an impression.”
The silence was loud as Mel took a French fry from Jayce’s plate.
“But if I may speak freely, Mrs.Medarda—”
You nodded towards him, curious at what he had to say.
“The two of you are so….different. From the way you look down to the aura you exude. I-I’ve heard stories as a boy detailing how you brought peace to Noxus and many other lands they once butt-heads with. They always said you were soft and kind. But you had a firm hand and possessed the political knowledge to end wars before they could they were even declared. You’ve saved the lives of so many people—soldiers, citizens, and nobles alike, and yet—”
He stopped, realizing he was rambling—a habit he picked up in his early years. “What I mean to say is, the two of you are basically the Sun and the Moon. Polar opposites.”
You smiled softly as you mindlessly toyed with the straw in your drink. “The Sun and the Moon complement each other. But if the Moon were to disappear without a trace—the Sun wouldn’t bat an eye. It would keep thriving as it always has. Yet, if the Sun were the disappear—the Moon would mourn its death for endless nights to come.”
A silence overtook the three of you, and Jayce seemed confused at the comparison. Mel spoke softly, extending the metaphor, “And yet…the world would notice if either disappeared.”
You nodded your head at her words as you pushed your plate forward. “Yes, yes it would.”
…..
As the sun started to set, the three of you headed to a nearby bar for drinks. It was getting slightly chilly, and Jayce through his jacket over Mel’s shoulders to shield her from the cold.
You simply held yourself tighter, cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket.
You sighed in contempt as you finally entered the bar and took a seat. The two lovebirds sat a few seats away from you, but not too far.
The bartender made his way to you first. He wore an all black button down shirt and pants, and his jet black hair complemented his piercing blue eyes. He smiled warmly, “What can I get for you?”
You took a glimpse at the menu as you spoke tiredly, “Just a Daiquiri, please. Chilled.”
He nodded. But he stood there for just another moment, “Rough day?”
You gave him a small smile, “You could say that…”
He began to talk out the necessary ingredients for your drink at an impressive pace, “In that case, first drink’s on me then.”
You smiled at him gratefully as you gave him a ‘Thank you’. You reminded yourself to give him a generous tip before you left.
You brought the drink to your lips and took a generous sip. The taste of sugar, rum, and citrus made its way onto your tongue, and you hummed in satisfaction. You set down your glass as you looked around the bar.
You saw people smiling and laughing as they shared drinks. You saw couples giggling and holding each other tight. You saw people sitting alone—yet even they looked content. They were all happy.
Why couldn’t you just be happy?
Over the years, Ambessa started to bury herself more and more. She pulled herself away from you, often leaving you in a cold bed and practically engulfed your small frame. She wouldn’t come back until the wee hours of the morning, and even then, she wouldn’t greet you. Wouldn’t touch you. Wouldn’t even spare you a glance.
I should’ve seen the signs sooner, you told yourself. I should’ve went away before it got too far, should’ve filed for divorce the moment she became distant.
But you didn’t. You stuck by her side. Waited endless nights in a cold bed hoping she’d come home and be normal again. Notice you. Love you.
Yet the moment never came. You had waited for something that was never going to come.
Before you knew it, you lost count of the number of shots you ordered and downed in come take. You ignored the look concern the bartender gave you as you stared down at your fingers. You trailed shaped across your thighs—something Ambessa used to do—and, fuck—
You just couldn’t get her off your mind. No matter how hard you tried. No matter how much you desperately wanted to.
Your eyes drew heavy, and you practically tumbled out of your seat. You made your way over to Mel—who was practically sitting on Jayce’s lap—and let her know you were going home. Her once carefree gaze turned into one of concern.
“Did you need me to call you a ride? Give me one second and I’ll—”
You shook your head, “Mel, really, I’ll be fine. My place isn’t far from here. Enjoy your night, don’t worry about me.”
She sighed, “Alright…call me when you get home.”
You nodded at her words, gave the cashier a wad of cash and told him to ‘keep the change’, and stumbled out of the bar on two left feet.
…….
You stumbled towards the door of the apartment you were renting out while in Piltover. It was luxurious—one of the most expensive of its kind. Though, you hadn’t spent much time in it.
You shuffled through your purse as you searched for your keys in the dark. You sighed in victory as you finally found them, and clumsily put your key in the doorknob.
You opened the door and stumbled through your apartment with low eyes. You threw your purse somewhere are you walked up the glass stairs.
You heard slight shuffling upstairs, but your drunk, hazed mind decided to ignore it. Big mistake.
You walked through the hall and towards your room—only to freeze at the door way.
In less than five seconds—you swore you were now sober.
There she was. Your wife. Ambessa. She sat faced away from you on the far side of the bed. Her shoulders were stiff and her back was rigid. She looked down into her lap, and without even looking at her face, you could tell she was in deep thought.
You slowly started to walk backwards, but at the absolute worse time possible, your left heel decided to break, and you stumbled backwards. With a thud, you were brought to your knees on the floor.
Shit.
She spinner around and her gray coils moved with her. She scrambled to her feet as she went to help you up, but you snatched your arm away. “Don’t touch me.”
You scurried into the room and sat on the bed as you rubbed your ankle. That was definitely going to bruise in the morning.
“Y/N…”, you heard Ambessa whisper. You’d never heard her speak so softly.
You tried to ignore her presence, but that was impossible to do. She stood where she was—yet her gaze enveloped the whole room.
You shook your head as you held back tears, “I—I don’t ever ask for much….”
She stayed silent as you spoke.
“I don’t ever ask for much. All the presents and gifts you gave me…All the houses and land you bought me…All the jewels and diamonds you gave me….”
You shook your head harder as your tears fell harder, “I ain’t ask for none of that. All I asked is you give your kids the light of day. That you give me the love and attention I give you non-conditionally. That you stay loyal to me—as your wife—and show me that our marriage wasn’t out of infatuation—but genuine love for one another.”
You sobbed harder as you fought to breathe. “You think I don’t have wants and needs too? You think I don’t imagine myself being able to have a stable relationship with someone else? You think I don’t want to have sex and have somebody fell up on my body? To whisper sweet nothings in my ear? To show me that I matter to them? But I would never go behind your back and do that to you because I love you. I love you so much it hurts, Ambessa. I wish I could just let you go. Rip you out of my life and run far,far away. But I can’t. I just can’t…..”
You grew frustrated at her silence and wiped your snotty nose. “Why’d you do it, Ambessa? Why you have to do me like that?”
Ambessa’s own’s tears clouded her vision as she fought to find the right words. Her breath hitched, and she could tell you were becoming impatient. So she spoke her mind, and didn’t hold back.
“I—I thought….you made me weak. I thought if I allowed when I allowed myself to get close to you, I weakened the walls I fought so hard to built around myself. I’ve fought so hard to become the woman I am today, and I couldn’t let anyone take that away from me—not even my own family. So I distanced myself. From Mel. From Kino. And from you. I thought I was doing us both a favor. It allowed me to make the necessary decisions to keep us safe, and for you….I thought it would allow you the satisfaction of knowing you weren’t sleeping next to a monster.”
Surprise crossed your features as she continued to speak, “I have the blood of thousands—if not millions—on my hands. Women, children, and men alike. The thought of it haunts me every night, and yet, and I have brush it aside. I opt to spend most nights asleep in the very same chair I spend hours reviewing and signing papers in because I can’t bear to sleep beside you knowing what I have done. What I will do.”
Tears started to spill onto her scarred cheeks as she approached you. You didn’t move, and simply stared.
She knelt before you, and grabbed both of your small hands in hers, “What I have done is unforgivable. And I will accept any punishment you give me. I—I’ll build you a new estate for you to stay in. I’ll have it done before winter, but please—”
You grabbed her face in your hands, halting her words. The two of you met eyes, and a thousand words were spoken before either of you could say anything. Your mind betrayed your anger as you looked down at your wife. Your wife. Not the war general, not the most powerful figure in Piltover, not the formidable warlord, but your wife. A woman. With a mind, and a soul, and a deep, aching heart confined in the thickest of chains. Chains only you could break.
What she did hurt you deeply. But you could see the regret in her eyes. How it spread throughout her body. How it seemed to age her face even more.
You took your thumb and wiped a stray tear on her face, and she closed her eyes as she leaned into your touch.
You brought her head into your bosom, and for a moment, the two of you were silent. You laid your cheek on her head as you embraced her. Years of regret seemed to radiate off her. She spoke softly into your chest, “I don’t know if you can forgive me, but I want you to know….I’m sorry. For everything. And I will spend the rest of my life working for your forgiveness. I swear it.”
You took in your words as you shook your head. “While I certainly can’t forgive you now, I’ll give you a chance. Prove to me that our marriage is worth keeping. Show me that you can change, for us.”
Her head shot up, and a look of relief like none other crossed her features. A genuine smile—one you hadn’t seen in a long time, but adored—graced her features as she held you tighter.
“I’ll change—for us.”
……
The next few weeks brought you happiness that you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. The two of you finally traveled back to Noxus.
You hugged Mel tightly on the dock while the guards and servants prepared the ship. However, the tension between her and her mother could be cut with a knife as they shared brief goodbyes.
The morning after you came home drunk to Ambessa in your apartments, you called Mel and told her about the apology. She was taken aback, not believing a word you said. She had asked why she did it in the first place, yet you didn’t want to share too much on the private conversation. You gave a brief summary, leaving out some stuff, and she simply hummed. You could tell you were holding back something through the screen.
The ride back home wasn’t what you expected, and for a moment, you doubted Ambessa would stay true to her word. That quickly changed when the two of you arrived home.
It was like a switch flipped inside her. Instead of lingering behind after meetings, she spent the rest of her free time with you. She no longer spent countless hours hunched over a desk looking over papers, and finally got a trusted assistant to help her. She invested more time in the things you enjoyed and even found out things about herself. Her side of the bed was finally warm as she held you in her arms at night and shared hot baths with you in the morning.
Your wife—the woman you fell head over heels for—was finally back. You couldn’t be happier. However, despite how much your relationship has improved….she had yet to touch you.
The thought lingered in your mind as you fought to push it away. Instead, you stared at Ambessa’s back as she undressed and got ready for bed. That didn’t help.
You continued to look at her as she switched off the lamp and climbed into bed beside you. You heard her breathe a sigh of relief before she reached over to give you a ‘goodnight’ kiss.
However, as she leaned in, you took her by her shoulders and gave her a deep,passionate kiss.
You could tell she had an initial reaction of surprise, but quickly recovered and leaned into the kiss. Your tongues and mouths collided as her large hands roamed your body.
Being the impatient woman she was, she started to undo the bralette you wore to bed. Her hands immediately began to knead your breast, and you moaned into her touch.
She buried her head into the crook of your neck and planted hard kissed onto the soft flesh as she practically rubbed herself against you. The heat in the room seemed to increase by the minute.
She pulled herself of you after a moment as she started to plant kissed on your chest and stomach. The redness in your cheeks spread throughout your body. She threw off the lacey underwear she wore and held your legs on either side of her head.
She pressed kissed into the insides of your thigh, and your heat was practically pulsing just as hard as your heart.
You moaned as she pressed a tantalizing kiss to your pussy, and practically came right there when she sent a lick to your slit.
Without any warning, she began to feast on your heat. Every lick, suck, and bite elicited a new sound from your lips, and every one was music to Ambessa’s ears.
You weaved your hands through her hair as you grind yourself against her face. Your toes curled as you recognized a familiar coil inside your stomach. And with a shout, it finally snapped.
You should feel Ambessa’s smile as she continued to lap at you through your orgasm.
You breathed heavily, trying to come down from your high. You heard Ambessa shuffling around through the drawer—and you already knew what she was looking for.
A soft blue glow radiated from her hand as she adjusted the Hex-strap on her hips.
You vividly remember receiving the strap on an anniversary. She never told you where she got it—or how she got it—but she put it to good use the same night.
“I can’t remember the last time we used this….”, she said more to herself than to you.
You were brought back to reality as she took you by the forearm and flipped you over as if you weighed nothing—and you didn’t to her. Your face was stuffed into a pillow as she arched your back, and you could already feel yourself clenching around nothing.
She rested one hand on your thigh as she spread you open and roughly inserted two fingers into your wet entrance. She pumped them in and out at a steady pace and you moaned into the pillow beneath you. You took your hand and started rubbing small circles over your clit—but Ambessa’s hand quickly replaced yours as she nipped your ear.
Your second climax that night soon came to you in waves as you relaxed against Ambessa’s shoulder. She didn’t give you much time to collect yourself as she aimed the strap at your dripping cunt. You took in a shaky breath as you felt her slide in. She leaned over your shoulder as she whispered sweet nothings in your ear and held both of your hands in hers. When she was finally in, she slid halfway out, and drove herself into you again—rougher this time.
She continued this act a few more times before she had a steady rhythm of going out and roughly driving back into you. You could feel her hips collide with your thighs and ass and her rough hands gripping your soft love handles. If not for her tight grip on your hips—your head would’ve collided with the intricately carved wooden headboard.
She continued this until you were both moaning and panting—sweat pooling on your brow. Her grip on your hands loosened as her own groans filled the room. Her hips lost its steady rhythm and became to more at a sloppy and frantic pace. You knew she was close, and you reached back to run your fingers through her hair and tug at it. She groaned at the action—but made no move to stop you. With one deep thrust, she came undone. She practically fell on top of you as you both panted, exhausted. She carefully pulled out the strap and threw it on the end of the bed. The two of you rolled over on one side and sighed in content.
You could tell she was tired as her breathing became heavier. She held you from behind and tightened her large hands around your waist. You looked over your shoulder was low eyes, “Tired already?”
She chuckled at your dig. “I’m getting old, y’know.”
In your younger days, the two of you would go at from moon up to sun up—only stopping because she had a meeting scheduled that morning. Then, when she was finished with the meeting—you’d go again just for the hell of it.
If she were a man, the two of you would’ve had an army of babies together.
You smiled, reminiscing in the past. You came back to the moment as she buried her head in your shoulder. You leaned back into her touch as your own eyes fell to a close, and sleep enveloped you like a warm blanket.
While your marriage wasn’t perfect—it was definitely improving.
One kiss at a time.
…….
Taglist: @maaaaaaaaaaari
A/N; Pretty in Pink coming soon…See you in 2025 🎀
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✶⋆.˚ fem!reader, 18+ content, minors dni ✶⋆.˚
Simon always underestimates how good he’s able to make you feel. Keeps himself buried in between your thighs every night, hooks them over his shoulders for complete access to your pussy and so he can easily curl a couple of fingers inside of you. He’s downright sinful with those fingers too, knows just how to move them in and out and how to crook them perfectly so your mind spins and they’re all you can focus on. Uses his tongue to alternate between spelling his and your name on your clit, even throws in a ‘Mrs. Riley’ on occasion to switch things up. Has consistently wrung two or three more orgasms out of you than you thought possible. All this, yet he thinks his skills in the bedroom are just okay.
Your plan for tonight was to change this. To finally get to explain to Simon how damn talented he was at making you cum, whether it was with his cock, his mouth, his hands, or even the times he’s managed to get you off without touching you at all.
That was still the idea, obviously, if you could get the fucking words out. Too bad two of those fingers you were so fond of were currently buried knuckle deep into you and anything coming out of your mouth is nothing more than a whine or a moan.
“Is tha’ alright, love?” He lifts his mouth just enough from your clit to mumble his words out, nearly making you whine yet again from the loss of contact. “Am I doing a good job, making you feel good?”
He’d come off as cocky if you didn’t know him so well. He already made you came a few minutes ago, a simple twist of his wrist while he was fingering you and a nip at your clit left you gasping with your cum dripping down to his forearm. Not to mention the way your head is growing increasingly cloudy due to the way he’s sucking at your pussy like it’s his last meal. Yet he’s still worried it’s not enough, that he’s not treating his girl right.
The silence that Simon’s met with must make him think he needs to do better, because suddenly he’s slipping a third digit inside, thick enough to stretch you while he places a gentle bite against your inner thigh. Just to remind you he needs some guidance, a little bit of reassurance.
You pant, blinking slowly to try to clear your mind enough to get out even just a simple sentence at this point. “God y-yes, Si, you’re making me feel so good, please,” your nails dig into his scalp as you direct him back onto your pussy, bucking your hips so you can barely manage to grind against his face. “Please just don’t stop, please, you’ll drive me fucking crazy.”
“Don’t need to beg for tha’.” Simon responds gruffly as he latches back onto your bud, sucking so harshly it makes you jolt. “Never have to beg when you’re with me.”
He looks up at you as he begins eating you out again, your shared bedroom quiet save for the audible squelching of his fingers pumping in and out plus the borderline pathetic sobs that spill from your mouth as you feel yourself begin to reach another peak.
“Gonna cum, Si.” You cry out, your back arching against the bed even with the pressure of Simon’s palm holding you down as he continues to lap at your aching heat relentlessly.
“I know,” is all you get from him as he crooks his fingers inside to hit the spot he knows will have you melting under him. “So do what you’re s’pposed to do and cum for me.”
He draws out the second orgasm of the night with you clawing at his neck and shoulders desperately, searching for any way to stabilize yourself as your eyes roll back and you’re filled with the searing white hot pleasure that only Simon has ever been able to give you.
Simon continues his movements against your cunt, twisting his wrist so you can feel him hit everywhere inside of your core and only stopping when you whine from the overstimulation, pulling off of your clit with a gentle pop and humming contently at how beautiful you look when you’re completely spent.
“Gets me every time when I have the privilege of tasting my pretty girl.” Simon murmurs as he wipes your slick off of his chin with the back of his hand, laying his tongue flat against it to lick it clean. “Never understand how I’m able to do it f’you.”
“Of course you’d be able to. There’s never been anyone else who’s put in so much effort for me.” You attempt to meet his eyes, frowning when he glances away instead. “I’m serious, Simon. You really know how to treat me.”
You watch as he clenches his jaw, shaking his head slightly at your words. Even though he tries to hide it from you, you can still see the glimmer of hope that flashes in those amber eyes, trying to make himself believe he’s really good enough for you.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while.” Your hand reaches up to gently cup his jaw, making him look at you when you speak just so you can have the peace of mind that it’s really going through to him. “There’s never been a day you haven’t left me satisfied. Outside of the bed too, but especially here.”
There’s that smile you know and love. Simon lowers himself so he’s hovering right above you, his eyes filled with nothing short of pure adoration for you.
“You promise?”
“I promise. Always.” You lean up to press a kiss to his lips, matching his soft smile with yours. “You shouldn’t doubt yourself so much anyways. You’re, like, really good with your tongue.”
Simon tilts his head at that, hands working on autopilot as he grips the plush of your thighs and spreads your legs around his hips, clicking his tongue at the stickiness still dripping out of your pussy.
“Is tha’ right?”
The look in his eyes is purely ravenous as he leans back on his heels, tugging his boxers down enough to let his length free. You’re really in for it now.
“If you like how I eat pussy so much,” he groans as he spits in his palm to jerk himself, his other hand gripping your hip as he slowly sinks his cock into you. “Then I better see how else I can make you feel good, yeah?”
tags; @soapsgf (we are so back)
#idk where i was going with this but it's something#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley smut#simon riley cod#ghost x reader#cod x reader#cod smut#mw2#cod mw2
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THEY ARE COMING
THEY ARE COMING
#sobbing crying throwing up#metallica#I WAS SO SAD THAT THEY DIDNT COME TO ITALY FOR THIS TOUR#i dont think that they'll have their stage. which is fine by me#but in the tickets options there isnt the snake pit#just... golden circle? and it doesn't explain what the golden circle is??#anyway the price is not bad at all so i am def taking the super duper package whatever that will be#jinn out#I AM SO HAPPY!!!!
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Resuested by @outof-spite : was wondering if you could do a winchester bros & little sister! reader where theyve been arguing constantly lately, and reader is usually combative and always argues back but, this time shes just over the arguing so she just gives up trying to argue with them and kinda goes mute?
Warnings : family fights, yelling
Pairings : Sam/Dean Winchester x sister!reader
A/N : Sorry for the late postt ❤️❤️
-----
Things happen, right? Misunderstandings, judgement, reproaches and blame, all of them, the worst thing that could happen to a family, more importantly-right now-to yours.
Back from a hunt gone bad, you heavily lay in the backseat of the impala, your feet hung over the left window while your head rests over the opposite side of the car.
"Hey-get your feet off my damn leather." A complaint you've heard one too many times, and one you usually fight but- this time, as a sigh leaves your lips, you uncross your legs and bring them down, consequently lifting your upper body to sit up. An avertion from your side that's different from your usual habits, causing the car to fall into heavily loud silence.
And although it is loud with almost audible thoughts and anger, you still enjoy that while it lasts.
And it fucking doesn't last, in fact, just as soon as you entered the motel, another sentence commenced by Sam sent Dean into a fury, and just as things heated up, you found yourself in the middle of it all-again-
"Hey!!-" The shout is directed at you, this you know and choose to disguard. You would answer but- your body is fatigued and so is our mind, answering seems to lead to no vail. You answer, he fights you, you all go to sleep and wake up forcebly normalizing things, as if your throats aren't sore and your brains aren't fried.
"Hey-i'm talking to you-"
The words sound more bitter this time around, and you find yourself reluctantly lifting your gaze up . You look at Dean, slow and undetermined, exhausted.
"I asked you why you did that-You could've waited for us. I know you said there was no time le-" Dean pauses. "And fucking answer me when i talk to you-"
You shrug, causing a choking gasp out of Dean. His eyes widen and he leans forward. "Are you-Is she provok-are you-"
You throw your jacket over the bed, disdain discerned in your every move and you flop on the bed, unaware of the sudden tension that-again- suddenly settles in.
But the thing is--You don't care anymore. You haven't enough energy to get you to fight them once more, neither to explain or defend yourself. Too damn fucking tired is what you are at the moment-Too damn tired of it all.
"Kid?"
You rest your hand over your forehead, closing your eyes in an effort to soothe your aching muscles, and maybe suck in a little more patience.
"Kid."
Your stomach tightens and soon, you'll recess into a bawling mess, so you get off the bed and pick up your jacket.
Please don't lead to another fight, please..You just want it all to be ov-
"What's wrong?"
You shrug once more, shaking your head to motion that all is fine before heading for the door. But Sam comes your way, blocking the door and you blow a long sigh.
"Come here"
Sam grips both of your arms and swiftly-you find yourself glued to his chest. But all happens all too fast-why would he suddenly get all feely- and before you even realize it, you find yourself pushing against him.
"'im sorry-i'm sorry."
A lump builds up in your throat and as flashes of the past few weeks occupy every single space in your brain, your breathing increases-just as it gets harder to breathe. Just the thought of it all_
Your eyes are slowly flooded with warmth, announcing the tears gathering at your eyes. You need to leave. You need to go.
You choke on a sob.
You can't do this anym- "I know, honey. I've been there. I know." And with that, another sob loudly escapes your throat and a whimper follows.
"i've been there with Dad, i didn't realize we were doing that to you-i'm sorry. I see you. I really am sorry."
You shake your head as your cries fill the room, getting increasingly louder the harder Sam rubs your back. But that's not what you need. Not for them to see you-but for them to fucking stop.
"We'll stop. We'll talk. I promise."
You pull away from him, skeptical of a promise you doubt he can hold. And just as you're about to process that, Dean speaks.
"I'm sorry too." His honest tone makes you sigh. This isn't.what.i.want.
"Sam and i are sort've used to it- we lost sight of the fact that it wasn't affecting just us, but you as well. I really am sorry." Sam looks into your eyes and you slightly lean back, averting your gaze.
"It must've been really stresstful for you the past few weeks." Taken aback by his words, you pull your chin away from his hand and turn around, wiping at your tears before resting your hand against your forehead.
"we're sorry, kid."
You shrug, still mistrusftul. Mistrustful but hopeful. Because Sam and Dean are different, fights and bad things might accure but no matter how disconnected from each other they might be, they always come back to each other. And you are no different. You know them well enough.
Your silence is apprehended as anger. "Okay..We understand, we'll leave."
But it's not anger and it's most certainly not hatred. So you envelop Sam again and bury your face in his chest.
Maybe that'll be enough for him to understand?
His surprise manifests through his still figure. "Thank you, honey." That surprise quickly dissipates and he hugs you back. "It..."
"it's going to be okay, honey. We'll make it okay."
------
I hope it isn't too cringe or too cliché because like-who would say sorry in under a minute. But yeah anyway much love sorry byyiii 🍁🍁🍁❤️❤️❤️
#sister!reader#sibling fic#sister x brothers#winchester sister#daughter x father#dean winchester x sister#dean winchester x sister!reader#adoptive father troop#daughter!reader#father figure fic#sam winchester x sister!reader#sam winchester x sister#sam winchester x sister reader#baby winchester#sister reader#sister fic#spn fics#protective brothers#overprotective brothers
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Ꮺ . , CUZ YOU’RE MY HYPE BOY , L.CY !
PAIRING: bf ! anton × gf ! afab reader. SYNOPSIS: never in your wildest dreams had you dreampt of leaking at the wrong time but here you were, trying to hide the stain your period blood left on your bf's sheets—will you succeed? [REQUESTED] . . . . . . GENRE: fluff, fic, period talk & mentions of pain and blood obvio. WORD COUNT: 1.6k [LIBRARY] ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 sena’s note — this was such a cute fic to write, thank you to the anon who requested, ily <3
You wake up to a sharp, familiar ache in your stomach, and a groan slips out before you can stop it. The cramps are bad—bad enough to make you regret spending the night at Anton’s apartment. You weren’t planning on staying over, but it was late, and Anton, being the gentleman he is, insisted you shouldn’t walk home alone.
Now, though, you wish you’d just gone home. Because as the pain twists in your lower stomach, you have an awful realization.
Carefully, you lift the blanket and glance down, your heart dropping. There, on Anton’s spotless, white sheets, is a visible red stain.
Your period.
For a moment, you just stare at it, horrified, your cheeks burning. How could you forget it was coming? And of course, it had to happen here, of all places. Your hormones are already making you emotional, and now panic kicks in full force.
Anton is still fast asleep behind you, his soft breathing the only sound in the room. You glance back at him, guilt and embarrassment tangling in your chest. He looks so peaceful, completely unaware of the mess you’ve made.
Your mind races. What is he going to think? Will he be mad about his sheets? Annoyed that you’ve ruined his morning?
And yet, a small voice in your head reminds you of who Anton is—the same Anton who stayed up late helping you pick out groceries, who insisted on carrying your bag even though it wasn’t that heavy. He’d never yell at you. Right?
Still, you can’t shake the nerves. You’ve worked so hard to keep a good image in front of him—always put-together, always in control. And now this? How are you supposed to explain it?
Taking a deep breath, you sit up slowly, wincing as another cramp hits. You’ll have to handle this before he wakes up. You just hope he’ll understand if he finds out.
You’re so lost in your panicked thoughts that you don’t even notice Anton stirring behind you. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close, but you immediately squirm out of his grip.
Anton blinks, rubbing his eyes with a sleepy confusion. The sun hasn’t fully risen yet, and the soft morning light barely fills the room. His brows furrow as he sits up slightly, his voice gentle and laced with concern. “What’s wrong, baby?”
You open your mouth, intending to brush it off, to say nothing, but the words catch in your throat. His gaze is too soft, too worried, and for a second, you freeze.
But Anton isn’t as clueless as you hoped he’d be. He pauses, his nose twitching slightly, his expression shifting. There’s something about the smell—unmistakably off. Not that he knows exactly what period blood smells like, but it’s… different. And it’s coming from you.
Before he can say anything, another gush of blood makes your stomach twist, and you bolt from the bed, rushing toward the bathroom. Your heart is pounding as you shut the door behind you, barely holding back tears as you glance down. Your underwear and pants are already worse than before, and the humiliation hits harder than the cramps.
You lean against the bathroom counter, trying to steady your breathing, but all you can think is: How am I going to face him now?
Anton isn’t confused—he’s just worried. The moment you shut the bathroom door, he glances down at the bed and notices the fresh red stain on his pristine white sheets. He doesn’t hesitate. Getting out of bed, he approaches the bathroom door, softly knocking as he hears the faint sound of your sobs.
“Baby, talk to me. Do you need anything?” His voice is gentle, filled with concern.
You try to keep it together, forcing out a shaky, “I’m fine,” from behind the door.
But Anton isn’t buying it. After a brief pause, he knocks again, his voice a little quieter this time. “I… I kept a packet of pads in my drawer. You know, just in case… so… you can…”
He trails off awkwardly, and you can easily picture him standing outside the door, scratching the back of his neck, trying to give you space but wanting to help.
You wipe at the tear slipping down your cheek, your embarrassment still overwhelming. “Do you… have them right now?” you ask hesitantly, your voice small.
“Yeah.”
“Okay…” You take a deep breath. “I’ll open the door. Oh gosh, this is so embarrassing.”
You crack the door open just enough to let him hand the pad through. Anton doesn’t try to look inside, and you snatch it quickly before shutting the door again. But as you glance down at your ruined underwear and pants, another wave of frustration and helplessness washes over you.
“Um…” you mutter, hesitating before you call out again, your voice shaky. “My panties and pants… they…” You trail off, staring at the bloody mess.
You groan, more to yourself than to him. “Why does it have to be me? God!” The urge to yell is overwhelming, but before you can spiral further, Anton knocks again, his voice soft but steady.
“Here,” he says, slipping a pair of boxers and shorts under the door. “They’re mine, but, um, the boxers are an old pair—probably a little smaller, so they might fit okay. And the shorts are loose, so…”
You stare at the clothes, his thoughtfulness surprising you. He adds quickly, “Oh, I put the blanket in the wash. Don’t worry about it. And… if you want me to, I could wash your panties and pants too—”
“PLEASE NO!” you blurt out, horrified. “IT’S DISGUSTING, EVEN FOR ME!”
Anton flinches on the other side of the door, your sudden outburst making him fall silent. “Okay,” he mumbles, his tone a little sheepish, before retreating to give you space.
As you get yourself cleaned up, you can’t help but replay everything in your mind, the humiliation bubbling up again. But underneath the embarrassment, a tiny flicker of gratitude lingers. Anton may have seen more of you than you’d ever intended, but his calm, gentle way of handling it makes you feel just a little less alone.
You’re not sure how much time has passed as you stand in the bathroom, rinsing the blood from your panties and pants. You know you’ll eventually need to properly wash them later—leaving them would just make the smell worse. The memory of an old, similar experience leaves you determined to clean up the mess as best as you can now, even though the situation still feels mortifying.
After finishing, you take a deep breath, shoulders slumping as you step out of the bathroom. Your hands are thoroughly washed, but guilt still weighs heavy on you. You can’t help but feel like you’ve ruined Anton’s peaceful holiday morning with this mess.
Always causing trouble, you scold yourself internally.
But the soft, refreshing smell of lavender in the air pulls you out of your spiral. Glancing around, you spot the faint flicker of a lavender-scented candle melt on the nightstand. He must have lit it to make sure you didn’t feel self-conscious about any lingering smells.
Your chest tightens, warmth blooming where shame had been moments ago. Why was Anton so thoughtful? So gentle? You couldn’t help but fall for him a little more.
“Baby,” his voice calls from the other room, breaking your thoughts. You turn, finding him standing near the bed with two plates in his hands. “I made us both—woah.”
His jaw drops slightly, and you follow his gaze, realizing you’re still wearing his shorts and boxers. They’re a bit oversized, sitting loosely on your frame, and suddenly you feel self-conscious.
“What’s that?” you blurt, quickly trying to divert his attention. Your eyes land on the plates in his hands.
“Oh, this?” He holds them up slightly, a sheepish grin on his face. “I cooked for us… since you’re on your… ehm, periods.” His cheeks flush slightly as he finishes, his voice awkward but endearing. It’s clear this is all new to him, and you realize—you’re his first girlfriend, and this is probably the first time he’s ever dealt with something like this.
You blink in surprise, glancing at the plates again. Eggs, fully cooked, sit neatly on them. It’s not perfect, but it’s not runny either. You know how much Anton struggles to cook, so this feels like a small miracle.
The realization of everything he’s done for you hits hard. He didn’t just stop at replacing the sheets or lighting the candle—he even attempted cooking despite his lack of skill.
Your chest swells with emotion, and before you can stop yourself, you wrap your arms around him. Anton flinches slightly, caught off guard with both plates still in his hands. You bury your face in his chest, mumbling, “You don’t think I’m weird?”
Anton tilts his head, the corners of his lips twitching into a small, innocent smile. “I just think you’re fertile.”
The sheer absurdity of the statement makes you laugh, even as a tear slips down your cheek. He’s so clueless yet so sincere that it’s impossible to stay embarrassed.
You pull back, wiping the tear away as he teased, “I love you, but I’d appreciate it more if you forget the stain and instead praise this chef.”
Anton smirks, watching as you plant a soft peck on his lips. He doesn’t even get the chance to pull you closer, both hands still occupied with the plates. The warmth of his love and efforts almost makes you forget the dull ache in your stomach.
Even if your cramps are still there, maybe surviving this morning with your boyfriend’s cooking and his genuine care will be enough to make the pain feel a little less overwhelming—even if his cooking turns out to be a bit of a disaster.
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