#i am so abnormal about him obviously but also every show he’s ever been in i’m gonna be spiraling abt fagin forever

[callixton]

ALSO the director using that quote abt fagin being a queer old auntie was SO real i can’t stop thinking about it like that is what he is & that is what raúl played

[iwaasfairy]

fairy come home the kids miss you

I’m just playing lmao I mean obviously we all miss you but I’m sure we’re all hoping you’re doing well!!! I just came to scream in your inbox because I saw a gangsta edit and immediately had to reread lenient AGAIN swear that fic is tattooed on my brain at this point it’s yummy shit and you deserve a fat wet kiss on the lips for it and every glorious thing you’ve ever written

I’m HOME IM HOME I MISSED YOUUUU n the kids MWUAH mwuah mwuah

aaAAAAAAA THANK YOUUUU when you sent this i went back and reread part of it too and it just reminded me how much i love writing and reading cest and big bro nico liVES IN MY HEART HES SOOOOOO!,,,,! SOsosososo so hot and sexy and he knows what he’s doing is wrong technically but he can’t care becauseeee he LOVES YOUUUUU he loves only his little sister <333 that fic is very important to me so thank you for reading and rereading baby

I guess I’ll use this as a little opportunity to update y’all on what I’ve been doing since I’ve been away

I watched the final part of aot and that ruined me for a bit,,, I no longer hate eren and Reiner and zeke and Levi and Connie CONNIEEE and Jean can all get up in my guts Pieck too and porco and Marcel too tbh gangbang needed, I rewatched haikyuu and jjk, I’m still obsessed with everything hq and I’ve been thinking thoughts about seijoh and tobio and ushi/semi and the twINSSSS and !!MmMMHHHH AND JJK Men are on my mind more than ever and

and also chilchuck dungeon meshi is my malewife (platonic) and I kin him so hardDDDD and and!! I’ve also rewatched chainsaw man and I didn’t get to talk about that show when it was going around on here but believe I am so abnormal about it rn fr like actually genuinely aki makes me cRY HE MAKES ME SOB N SPIT AND PISS I CAnt believe I don’t have an aki fic yet that’s actually so bad

[deansmom]

God, I would be terrified to meet Fall Out Boy, but I would pay stupid money to get to talk to them and embarrass myself by just crying and gushing about how proud I am of them, and how I hope they’re proud of themselves, and what their music & legacy has done and means to so many people

I’ve been a fan since 2005, so almost 20 years, and they are just… the most talented, passionate, kind, hardworking band that I’ve ever come across. I’ve done two meet & greets with them, and they were just so nice. I know that seems silly, but I’ve met a decent amount of bands, and that is not always the case. Walking into the m&g tent for them was obviously like, medium terrifying, but Andy asked if I was okay because my hands were visibly shaking, Joe punched Pete’s shoulder when I set my thing to get signed in front of him and he wasn’t paying attention, and when I came back through to do the picture Pete came over to me and apologized for being distracted and put me in the middle of him & Patrick, and Patrick told me how much he liked the card I made him, and then we took a picture and I walked into a cement pole as I was leaving and the second I got outside the tent and found my parents I bursted into tears because I was feeling so many things but I was also embarrassed and their security guard came out and gave me a water bottle and said the guys wanted to make sure I was okay and - I cannot stress how abnormal that is. This wasn’t a small venue, this was a big show, and they were so incredibly fucking nice to me.

Their crew, the environment they foster on a tour, is just leagues different from other bands that I saw on tour. That same show I met them, the security let me into the general admission area for their set, even though I didn’t have that ticket. Their security team, their roadies, have always been incredibly kind and welcoming to both me & my parents (my dad went with me to pretty much every show) and other people at the shows and I just - the only band that has ever come close to making me feel that welcome somewhere, was all time low. Something about the four of them just makes people want to be kind. It’s astounding.

I could gush about them forever and compare them to every band I’ve met and how differently they treated the fans and how their security treated us, but I won’t bore you with that. I will just say that it has been one of my greatest honors to get to watch these four boys from Chicago become the rockstars that they are, and more importantly, watch them find joy in their music again. I am so stupidly proud of them, it’s embarrassing.

[daz4i]

while ratio being Just Some Guy is most likely the case and fits him narratively, i do love the hc/theory that he's not quite human (either smth supernatural or just a different humanoid species. tho i obviously enjoy the first one more)

1. there's smth abt a character constantly reminding you, the viewer, that they are one thing only to be revealed as the opposite. so like him constantly reminding you that he's just a regular mundane human with nothing special about him can come off as sus

1a. i will say tho. playing it straight and not revealing anything ever beyond showing that he's just an extremely weird and eccentric human is funny

1b. that being said!!! my favorite take on that is that he's not human but wants to be one so bad bc he loves humanity. bc that's so cute and another trope i love. that's why i don't like theories abt him *becoming* not human bc it seems even more antithetical to who he is as a character

2. it'll explain some weird little details abt him that don't quite make sense for a normal human. bc like. i get that he's very smart but on a practical level, achieving the things he has should be impossible in what is likely a short time frame

2a. most recent example i can think of is him sending tb a file that takes "just one amber era" to read, which, from what i gathered, is about couple of years. so he compiled all this information while also working on the divergent universe while on a mission in penacony. and if these first 2 things took him a few years then he did them while developing weapons and curing space cancer and writing whatever he did to get him his phds (so like, a few book-length theses probably) which was probably already a few years ago by the time we meet him, and he's supposedly very young for someone with his achievements so probably in his early 30s at most. idk how to find this post rn but someone calculated that he has either been teaching for 10 or more years by now (which. let me remind you. he started *after* getting his 8th phd) or that he taught like. an insane amount of courses every year to reach the number he did. supposedly while also working for the guild + developing all these aforementioned things + doing his own research like what he's been doing on the space station. does he ever sleep. how is he in such a good shape and able to preach about health when it's like physically impossible to do all that within such a short timespan. even if you've got a genius brain like that's just too much going on at once

2b. sorry that last point was so long. this one is shorter bc it's abt smaller examples, like him disappearing abnormally fast while talking with aventurine, or this little fourth wall break of him referring to himself as a supporting character. floating on some invisible chair might be an imaginary powers thingie so i'll let that slide but he's on thin ice

2c. all the little implications that he's old. like OLD old. his recommendation letter being described as yellowed paper. that one occurrence in gold and gears that mentions him, despite occuring around 2000 years ago

3. why do his eyes glow. why are his pupils cat-like. i get that it's for aesthetic reasons probably but it's still goddamn weird especially the pupils bc iirc there is at least SOME explanation for why other hsr characters have weird eyes, but nothing about him.

(i totally used this numbering format wrong huh. forgive me it is 2 am i'm typing this bc i couldn't sleep. btw while i'm at it lemme apologize for all the grammar errors and missing words and such that are all totally there only bc of how tired i am and no other reason whatsoever)

there are, however, contradictions to the theory of course

as already mentioned, it kinda goes against his Point as a character in the story. like he SHOULD be normal that's why he's the foil for the geniuses

speaking of. if he is something beyond human, why seek the recognition of nous? if he's some powerful and possibly immortal being, why would that matter for him enough to try?

there's probably more i'm forgetting now but lbr it's mostly that first point lol.

ok so establishing all that. what even IS he?

option 1: immortal, over 2000 years old

boring. i don't like it. but i gotta acknowledge it bc as things stand it's probably the most likely one...? (other than him being Just Some Guy lol)

so there's everything i mentioned abt his achievements not making any sense in the timeframe he was likely alive, as well as the intelligentsia guild occurrence that mentions him

i don't like it bc it kind of implies that his main achievements were coined thousands of years ago. iirc he was invited to the guild *after* he achieved those. so did he only teach 50ish classes and didn't get any more phds over the span of 2000 years?? (it's possible we just don't have that information but. given how abnormally exceptional he is. why leave his other work out? he already doesn't seem humanly possible so. what's the harm in going further? will add a comedic effect to it too at some point)

also it's basic. boo

option 2: aha emanator

worm theory go brrr (i can't embed the link on mobile unfortunately but i can dm it or leave it in the replies if anyone needs it 🫡)

worm stuff aside tho. the fourth wall break and things just generally being Weird and so damn silly about him. his bust can count as a mask. aha having an owl symbol on the same side as the shoulder he has his owl symbol on. his eyes having aha's color scheme. we don't know quite what powers aha gives their followers afaik, but like the disappearing quickly thing is smth sampo does too, for example, and we know that he's a follower of aha. so who's to say all the other weird things about him are aha's work too?

there's the question on if he is like, an unwilling emanator that aha forced powers onto, or that possibly he is like zhongshan and just pulling an insane bluff

(given that the only times we see him sow chaos it is for a very clear purpose that has nothing to do with joy, i lean more towards the first)

also he embodies elation for me bc every time i see him i'm elated. is this anything

option 3: literally anything else man idk the hsr universe is so big every 2 patches we get a whole new faction or planet mentioned so who knows what else can be out there

possibly making him just go. very fast. he has lived [insert normal amount of years] but experienced much more in them than a normal human would

possibly having some powers like. fuck idk man. freezing time?

possibly able to split himself into multiple beings? (would certainly add a layer to his statues and especially the way they were presented in his trailer)

option 4: stealing that one straight from my fav fic actually (once again can't embed a link but it's "what do you want" by The_smallest_chibi on ao3!) but also altering it a little. something happened that caused him to *lose* his humanity, but he is trying to cling back to it. so he's possibly only slightly older than he seems but like this allows him to do things normal humans can't or go through life without needing things that normal people might, like food sleep etc.

i don't think it's very likely for the actual game i just wanted to tell you to go read this fic it's really good 👍

this is all i have for you now. i might repost (and this time tag) this later in a more organized and hopefully less rambling way with all necessary links and screenshots maybe. but don't count on that too much :P

[redrobin-detective]

I am going to regret asking this and giving you another chance to drag me in this fandom... but what's the problem with Danny's parents? Is there something else than the fact they really really want to dissect a ghost?

For me, the issues with the Fenton parents boils down to two main issues: 1. their complete and dangerous obsession with ghosts and destroying them and 2. the negligence to their children. I think Jack and Maddie are good people who love their children and can be good parents. But the problem is their ghost hunting work was always the priority in the family which Jazz and Danny clearly suffer from.

Point 1. The Ghost Obsession

I don’t know what happened to Jack and Maddie that caused them to develop an all consuming obsession with ghosts and, moreover, the need to destroy them. Fandom has pointed out that while they claim to be scientists, they clearly are more interested in weapons to hurt and destroy ghosts than anything even resembling normal scientific study. Amity Park has a high number of violent ghosts (mostly there to play fight Danny) but most ghosts everywhere else are just vibing. The ghost obsession hurt Danny long before he became part ghost (but I’ll save that for Point Two) but it went from an annoyance to an actual threat to his life.

First off, as many others have pointed out, having a dangerous lab in the basement with untested equipment/weaponry that your kids not only have ready access to BUT also have to go down there for assigned chores? Not great, Jan. I’ll give the Fentons the benefit of the doubt, we see clearly that Danny/Jazz know how to work the equipment in their house so they obviously have been drilled in usage and safety. Danny gets his ghost powers by being dumb and 14 and messing around with his friends like any normal kid would. Danny is now the very thing his parents want to hunt and destroy and a mainstay of the series is he is so scared of their reaction that he hides his powers/identity from his parents but not his ghostly enemies. Can you imagine being that uncertain that your parents love for you outweighs their obsession that you hide such a fundamental part of your life? What a miserable reality for a young kid.

Jack and Maddie spend the entire series going off about their hatred of ghosts. Danny has to sit there and listen to them talk in extreme detail how they’ll dissect and obliterate any ghost they come across. They’ll be making deadly weaponry made to kill beings like him at the kitchen table, weapons that do respond to his ghostly signature. They especially hate Danny’s alter ego, Phantom, because of his supposed trickery by pretending to be a hero. The canon things said in the show would certainly make me nervous about sleeping in the room next to them. They are capable of working with Phantom when push comes to shove but it never lasts long and they go back with guns blazing. Danny and the show mostly play these threats off for laughs but the fact that Danny straight up doesn’t tell them is telling enough on how it effects him. 

Point 2. The Negligence

‘Hur Dur parents are bad’ is a well known cartoon trope but the Fentons take it to an extreme. Jack and Maddie are obsessive with their work, absentminded and reckless, none of which create a safe and stable home for children. I love Jazz and Danny but they clearly are not entirely normal children (even before the whole ghost thing) from growing up in such a home. Jazz develops a reactionary personality, delving into psychology and being right as a way to kind of understand/get back at her parents (source? I do this exact thing with my mom) and Danny was quiet, overlooked and not given the attention to really flourish, instead being a sort of ghost in that house before he ever became one. 

Jack and Maddie 110% love their kids but do they encourage them in a meaningful way? Support their interests? Be available to help? Not really. I hate The Fright Before Christmas bc Danny gets blamed for being a “scrooge” instead of acknowledging he hates the holiday for his parents destructive fighting every year. (source? Again fucking me. I hate Xmas bc mom and I scream every year)

This issue only exacerbates once Danny gets ghost powers. His whole life is affected by his ghost fighting: he’s getting injured in fights from human bullies and ghosts, his grades are dropping from lack of studying/sleep, he’s absent from the house more often than not, he’s sullen and depressed and scared and anxious all the time. It’s a radical change and yet Jack and Maddie kind of brush over it, focusing instead how Danny’s changes affect them (IE Danny not being around to do his chores). This boy comes home, beaten from fights, stressed and feeling alone only to get yelled at because his parents miss all the signs he’s practically radiating that he is Not Okay. He eventually becomes a good enough fighter and actor to skip over but it’s truly heartbreaking that he can’t confide in the people supposed to support him the most. But it’s not just the ghost obsession, even without all the powers like if Danny was doing drugs or in a gang, his parents barely notice and, when they do, they don’t really do anything other than blame him. 

Now I’m going to end this long rant by saying that I love Jack and Maddie, I think they are fascinating people and want to see them developed. The situation as it is for most of the series is not okay in the least but I do believe they have the potential to be good, supportive parents. There’s a couple of eps where they DO find out about danny’s powers and instantly all the negligence and hostility is gone, its all acceptance of his powers and apologies for their behavior. Its not a perfect situation and could be borderline abuse apologism if done wrong. But I’d like to think that once they got over the shock and did some serious priority and soul searching, they would learn to correct themselves. Growth isn’t just saved for the teen protagonists, everyone has the chance to be better. Danny clearly doesn’t hold his parents behavior against them and would be nothing but ecstatic if they loved and accepted him. I do believe in a happy, functional if abnormal, Fenton family dynamic and I’m all for it.

[folklorelise]

Adorable clumsy dummy

MASTERLIST

Request are here!

You joined the survey corps two years after Hange became a squad leader. With your energy and personality, Hange requested to have you in their squad. You were obviously flattered and happy to accept this offer.

Like every other morning, you were in Hange’s office, helping with their paperwork.

“Erwin brought three new recruits today, they were assigned to Flagon’s squad.” Hange informed you.

“Uh, let’s go meet them then!” you shouted excited.

“I already did.”

“I didn’t, where are they now?”

“Hm probably in their dorms.”

After Hange told you in which room they were in, you run to your room first before knocking on their door. You heard loud whispers before the door opened on a tall man.

“Furlan, reporting for duty ‘mam.” he saluted you. “Are you part of our squad?”

“Oh no! I am with Hange. I just wanted to say hello.” You smile shaking his hand even if he did not stretch out his hand.

Then you went over the other guy and shook his hand.

“I’m Y/N!” you smiled, “and you are?”

“He’s Levi.” Furlan told you when he saw that Levi did not plan on answering.

“It’s really nice to meet you! But I thought there were three of you?”

“Isabel is a girl so she’s not with us.” Furlan said.

“Oh right!” you nodded. “Mh, I brought chocolate for you as a welcome present. My mom is a baker, so I have a lot of these!” you gave them each a piece of chocolate. “It’s safe to eat them!” you said when you saw them just looking at the food. “If you like it, I have more in my room.”

“It’s fine.” Levi said.

“Can we have some for Isabel?” Furlan asked you.

“Yes, of course! Or we can all go together now. I’d really like to meet her!” you proposed enthusiastically. “Or not?” you said when you saw them look at each other.

“We don’t have the time for that right now.” Levi stated. “We have to clean this mess first.”

“Oh!” you shouted, “I can help! I love cleaning. You know what, I’ll bring some cleaning supplies, you just wait me here!” you said before leaving.

“Doesn’t that make her your soulmate?” Furlan joked once he was alone with Levi which only made him glare at him.

Isabel and you got along very well, very quickly. Furlan was extremely nice too. The only problem, if you can call it a problem, was Levi. You tried to talk to him, but he rarely answered you. One night, since Isabel was sharing your room, you asked her if Levi even liked you.

“I’m sure he does. You are too adorable for anyone to not like you.”

“Is he always this silent?”

“Definitely.”

“What does he like then?” you wondered.

“Levi loves tea so maybe if you brought a cup or two per day.” Isabel suggested.

The next morning, you wrote a letter to your mother asking her to send you some tea leaves, some of every flavour they had in stock. Three days after you request, Hange told you that your package had arrived. You took your tea and made two cups of black tea. You had asked Isabel to tell Levi to join you in the kitchen because you had no idea where he was.

“Did you need something?” Levi asked you once he joined you.

“Mh, not really, but I made tea and I thought you would like some.” you said which made Levi look at the two cups of tea.

“What is it?”

“It’s tea.” you repeated smiling.

“Yeah, I figured. What flavour is it?” Levi asked.

“Ooh.” you laughed, “it’s black tea. I have other flavours too if you don’t like this.”

“Black tea is fine.” Levi said taking his cup.

Both of you sat down at a table, in front of each other and drank in silence. You noticed how Levi was holding his cup, and you thought ‘how bizarre’. You looked at your cup for a second and tried to hold your cup like Levi did, but you just ended up dropping your tea on your lap.

“Ah!” you screamed from the burn.

“What were you thinking about?” Levi yelled taking your hand so he could bring you to the kitchen.

Levi took a tissue and tried to clean your white pants.

“You’ll have to wash it. Now, let’s clean the tea on the floor.” Levi turned around to leave but then he came back to you and asked, “are you hurt? The tea was still pretty hot.”

“No, I’m good.” you paused, “thank you.”

—————

 By the time Levi made captain, he became a close friend of yours. Drinking tea together was also a tradition between you two. You would bring him tea in the morning, and he would bring you tea at night.

Deep down, Levi wanted to ask you to join his squad, but he knew how happy you were in Hange’s so he never did. When he lost his friends, he was devastated. Naturally, he did not want to lose you too during an expedition. But he knew you were a capable soldier.

One morning, Hange asked you to bring some paperwork to Levi which you gladly accepted. You also remembered that you had to bring him his tea, so you went to the kitchen first. You had the paperwork under your arm and the two cups of tea in each hand and walked slowly towards the captain’s office. Levi on the other side was looking at the clock every minute because you were late. After five minutes, he decided to leave his office to go and look for you.

Before he could start looking, he heard a scream – your scream – just a couple meters from his office. You were on the ground, with papers flying around and two broken cups of tea on the ground. Levi, worried, run to you and helped you get up.

“What happened?” Levi asked you.

“I fell.” you faltered. “Oh no, the paperwork! And the tea!” you cried horrified.

“Are you hurt?” Levi cupped your cheeks in his hands so you would look at him.

“I’m good!” you told him leaning, unconsciously, into his touch.

“What happened here?” Erwin asked coming out of nowhere which made Levi move away from you.

“She fell.” Levi said picking up the paperwork.

“Oh, are you okay?” Erwin asked you.

“Yes, I’m sorry about this mess. I’ll clean it.” you told your commander.

Levi put the paperwork on his desk before helping you clean the tea. The teacups were broken, and you went to pick them up, but Levi quickly took you arms in his.

“If you touch that I’m sure you’ll hurt yourself so don’t. I’ll clean that, just bring me a broom.”

After the cleaning was done, Levi told you to wait in his office; he would bring the tea from now on.

—————

One morning, the commander had organised a meeting with the captain and the other squad leaders. Without Levi, you had nothing to do; that is why you were collecting flowers on the training grounds. When you finished collecting all the pretty flowers, you found a string, so you could make a bouquet.

“Have you seen the captain?” you asked Petra when you saw her.

“He’s still in that meeting room. Although, I don’t know if they finished or not.”

“Thank you!” you said running to that room.

You looked at the clock in the corridor and noticed how it has been over three hours they were in that room – they had to be over. You opened the door wildly but immediately froze when you saw them still talking about the next expedition.

“Oh no.” you mumbled embarrassed.

“Y/N, is something wrong?” Hange asked.

“Did you need something?” Erwin questioned with a smile.

You shook your head and turned around, but Levi called your name.

“What did you need?”

“It’s not important.” you said shyly, “It can wait.”

“You already here so just tell me.” Levi pointed out.

Everyone else was looking at your interaction with the captain eagerly.

“I– I made a bouquet.” you showed them your flowers. “I just – I wanted to give them to you.” you told Levi.

“Oooh.” Hange, Mike and Erwin giggled which made Levi blush hardly.

“What are you waiting for?” Hange asked excited. “Go give Levi your beautiful bouquet.”

You walked to him hesitantly and handed him your bouquet.

“To decorate your office.” you whispered. “I thought it would be pretty.”

“Thank you.” Levi mumbled taking your flowers.

He put them in front of him and stare at Erwin because he was too nervous to look at you. You saluted your commander before leaving happy. Then you decided to wait for Levi in his office, his door was locked so you just sat on the floor. After a few minutes, you heard footsteps approaching and stood up quickly when you saw it was Levi.

“Why were you sitting on the floor? Do you know how dirty this floor is?”

“Your door is locked.”

“I gave you a key to my office!”

“But I don’t have it with me now.”

“You– never mind, just come in.” Levi said opening his door.

“Do you like the flowers I picked?” you asked him, sitting on his couch.

“Yes.”

Levi put the bouquet in a vase with some water and went back to his desk.

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you earlier, I thought you would be done by the time I came.”

“It’s fine.” Levi assured you, “but next time, just wait in my office.”

“Noted.”

—————

An expedition during autumn meant roads full of colourful leaves everywhere. It was one of your favourite time of the year so naturally you were extra happy that day.

“Alright, be careful out there.” Levi told you before joining his own squad.

“You two are adorable.” Hange told you smiling.

“We’re just friends!”

“Yeah right. Two adorable friends then.”

The expedition was going well, there were only a few titans and no abnormal ones were spotted. The commander ordered every squad to prepare their tents because you were probably going to spend the night outside.

“Hange,” you said, “I’ll go and collect some wood for the fire.”

When Levi found Hange, he expected you to be somewhere near, but you were not.

“Hey four eyes, where’s Y/N?”

“She went looking for wood over there.” Hange pointed at the forest.

“Are you serious? You let her go alone?”

“Yeah, I’m sure she won’t go far away, she knows it could be dangerous.”

“Are we talking about the same person here?” Levi asked worried. “I’m going after her, I’ll be back.”

You on the other side, had a bunch of wood with you. But on your way back to your squad you found the prettiest leaf ever. It was red and slightly frozen due to temperature.

You took it and went the other way to see if there was any other pretty leaf. You started to collect a bunch of them and sat down next to a big tree. You tied them together with a sprig and suddenly you heard Levi screaming your name at the top of his lungs. You looked up and saw him flying towards you and taking you with him. He put you on a high tree before going back to kill a titan that you did not see.

“What is wrong with you?” Levi yelled once he was back with you.

“I didn’t see it.”

“Yeah! That’s the problem! Why were you so far away? What were you thinking?” he continued to yell.

“I– I saw some pretty leaves and I gathered some. Here.” you hold it for him.

“Seriously?” Levi snapped at you. He took the leaves and throw them away. “I don’t want that. I want you to be more careful next time because next time, I probably won’t be there to save you.”

You watched your tiny leaf bouquet falling from the tree.

“I’m sorry.” you murmured. “Are y–”

“Let’s just go.” Levi said before taking you with him. “Next time, keep your gear too.”

Levi did not speak a word to you the rest of the evening. He did not speak to you the next day either. The rest of the expedition was spent far away from Levi. Hange, worried, asked you what happened but you assured them that everything was fine. Everyone could see it was not, but no one wanted to upset you. You looked like a sad puppy and nobody wanted to rub salt in the wounds.

Levi and you never fought before. Every time you messed up, he was there to fix it and help you, but this time, he was not. Once you were back from the expedition, you directly went to your room. That night, Hange went to see Levi.

“What?” Levi asked coldly.

“What is wrong with the both of you?”

“Not your problem.”

“Y/N is my friend, and I am her squad leader – it is my problem. You are my friend too so just tell me and let me help you.”

Levi explained how reckless you were and how you almost died eaten by titan when you went looking for wood.

“She almost died because she picked up leaves!” Levi screamed exasperated.

“You were worried about her, that’s all. Y/N is attached to you, a lot. You, telling her off might made her think you do not enjoy what she does. Which include getting you flowers and rocks just because it’s pretty.”

“What now?”

“Go talk to her.”

“Right.”

Levi decided to let you sleep and that he would come talk to you in the morning. He was expecting to see for breakfast, but you were not here. He walked to your room, but at the last minute he walked away. Levi decided to go in town and buy you some flowers before talking to you.

You were still in bed, too tired to get up. You did not get any sleep last night because of what happened during that expedition. You were too afraid to go talk to Levi; too afraid he would stop being friend with you. When you were about to fall asleep, you heard a small knock on your door.

“Y/N?” you recognised Levi’s voice which made you run to open the door.

When you opened the door, you threw yourself at Levi, crying a little.

“I’m sorry!” you both said at the time.

“I’m sorry,” Levi apologised, giving you the flowers. “I chose these because they were really pretty… like you.” he mumbled the last part.

“You’re really pretty too.” you admitted smiling, feeling your cheeks getting hot. “So, you’re not mad at me?” you asked uncertain.

“I was never mad. I was– I was worried and scared to lose you.” Levi confessed. “When I saw you and that titan, I thought I would be too late an–.”

“I’m sorry, you were right anyway. It was stupid of me.”

“No! Well, a little, but I like that.”

“I like you.” you said happily.

“Does that mean I can kiss you now?”

“Please.”

—————

I really liked your request, I hope it was fine. I know you asked for a friend one but I really wanted to make them a couple at the end because I love Levi, so I hope that was okay. I hope you guys like it.

[pettyvxbes]

COLSON BAKER x READER - BUCKET LIST II

SIT TIGHT, HANG ON, & ENJOY THE RIDE

You hadn't slept well in almost two weeks, which was conveniently how long it had been since Colson discovered your bucket list. You didn't like talking about your past, and you were afraid that some of the items on the list would lead to questions you didn't want to answer. But when Colson hadn't even brought the list up, you were relieved. You figured it had gotten lost in the shuffles of his busy life, which was perfectly okay.

You were woken up around 5 am by Colson crawling into your bed. It wasn't abnormal for him to randomly show up at your house in the wee hours of the early morning. Especially not since his recent split from Megan. They had called it quits a little over 4 months ago, and although he'd never admit it, he hated sleeping alone.

"Cols, you okay?" You whispered to the tattooed man under your covers.

He laid on his back, arms folded across his chest, acting as though he had never slept in the same bed as you. Colson was always mindful of your space, not wanting to cross any boundaries or make you uncomfortable in your own bed.

"Mhmm," He responded, clearing his throat. "Go back to sleep."

You didn't say a word, repositioning yourself to find a comfier spot. You made sure that your leg was touching his. He had told you years ago that the slightest amount of physical contact helped him sleep because it was a way for him to confirm that he wasn't alone. You didn't mind it because it was comforting to you too.

"Thank you." He whispered before you both dozed off into a peaceful sleep.

You woke up around 8 am to Colson's face nuzzled into your neck. You were tangled in his limbs. It was hard to tell where he ended, and you began. Colson was a cuddler, another thing he'd never admit, but you two always ended up wrapped up in each other.

You tried moving slowly out from under him, causing him to grumble in his sleep, pulling you closer to him, a contented sigh passing his lips. You chuckled quietly at him. You didn't have it in you to wake the sleeping man. You knew what it was like to struggle with sleep. You never slept past 8 am regardless of the amount of sleep you received. You knew you wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, so you carefully reached for your phone on the nightstand. Scanning the hundreds of emails all interested in booking Colson or scheduling him for an interview.

You hadn't even realized how quickly the time passed until Colson shifted from on top of you. He groaned as he stretched himself across your bed.

"Do you ever stop working?" His voice was sleepy, and his hair was disheveled.

"I just booked you for SNL next month. You're welcome." You articulated. A look of excitement gracing his face.

"Shut the fuck up." He chuckled. "I guess I can cross that off my bucket list!" He screamed before hysterically jumping on top of you, causing a groan to escape your lips.

"Okay, can we get up now?" You grumbled, trying to push his heavy body off of yours.

"What time is it?" He questioned. You looked at the clock on your phone.

"10:58."

"Not yet." He replied, remaining situated on top of you. You sighed loudly. A few minutes later, Colson removed himself from you to speak with you face to face. "So for your bucket list, should we just start at the top and work our way down or randomly pick what we want to do?" He asked, catching you off guard.

"You're really not going to drop this, are you?" You rolled your eyes at him.

"Not a chance," he replied, reaching into his back pocket to remove the folded sheet of paper. "Which do you want to cross off first?" He asked, passing it off to you.

"I don't know, you tell me, boss man." You said, ripping the list from his hands.

"Well, for starters, we can cross off number 23 'cause I made you stay in bed until 11 am this morning." He bragged, drawing a checkmark next to the number.

"Sneaky." You smirked.

"Thank you, thank you," He repeated himself, pretending to bow for an audience. "I'm gonna have you crossing stuff off left and right, baby!" His voice became more theatrical with every word. "Please fasten your seat belt, and keep all hands, feet, arms, and legs inside the ride at all times!" He bantered loudly, pretending to talk into an overhead pager like you were boarding a rollercoaster.

"I can't stand you." You giggled. The silence grew between you as you carefully looked over the list. You had created it so long ago you needed to refresh your memory. "Obviously, we don't have to do all of these." You said after a few moments, gesturing towards the sheet in your hands.

"What do you mean?" He questioned, flabbergasted at your suggestion. "I'm helping you cross off every single one of these before your 30th birthday." He declared.

"Colson, have you even read through the entire list?!?" You queried. "Some of those are pretty unreasonable."

"Which ones?"

"Well, number seven for starters." You elaborated. Colson grabbed the list from your hands to see what you were talking about. . . Get married in Las Vegas. . .

"Fuck it, I'm all in." He assured you, casually handing the list back. "You're my assistant. You're basically my wife anyway. Besides, we can just get an annulment afterward or just have a fake wedding." He shrugged before swinging his long legs over the side of your bed.

"Are you serious?" You sputtered.

"As a heart attack," he went on, "it works out great actually because the media won't stop talking about how I'm never going to move on from Megan." He explained, leaning down to slip his sneakers on. "Also, we'll already be in Vegas crossing off number eight." He looked back at you with a devilish grin.

The only thing left for you to do was sit tight, hang on, and enjoy the ride.

I << 💀 >> III

TAG LIST @prettydreamboy @classyunknownlover

[hyakki59]

Eren Jaegar x Reader - Being Together for each other - One Shot

(The reason why I sometimes chose an other age as a background of my fictions, is because I like to imagine different eras when my imagination goes wild, lol. I don’t know if you find my following kind of background or my story interesting, but for anyone who will read it, I hope you enjoy. : )) )

•The background of the story takes place some decades after the Industry Revolution. The cities have already been developed, being full of machines and factories.  

•That's not only this kind of world that exists though. You and Eren had grown up on a village. Actually, you could say that you two had grown together. Going on the same school, playing together on yards, exploring the woods like you were on mini adventures, etc, you know, stuff children usually do.  

•As you two were almost finishing the school Eren had a little bit of a change on his character, like every human being. He was serious all the time and his smiles were more like sadden smiles. It's not that all this was something abnormal. As a human grows, they understand more and observe even more. So, many realizations are not always welcomed happily.  

•Eren though had, let's say, a little bit of a flaw. He was giving up easily. He was preferring doing nothing when an obstacle was appearing in his life.  

•You and Eren as old teens had spend hours discussing together about life and your problems, while sitting alone on short stone walls, in the nature or while walking.

•Eren had problems with his family. They had many arguments. Those were a big reason why Eren was most of the time gloomy.

•You believed that one day Eren would recover from all of this and that all he needed was time. But this kind of changing wasn't coming. Years passed and Eren sunk into depression. It wasn't visible at first, because it came slowly.  

•You and Eren were no more students, but adults who needed to survive. You decided  to study to nearby city's University, even though it was something unusual for women back then (but we don't care lol). You were going to city by bus, and sometimes you were also living there. That's why you weren't in contact with Eren everyday and you hadn't noticed that he had "fallen" in a hole that he couldn't escape emotionally.  

•At the same period that you were studying, Eren wasn't putting even the smallest aim in his everyday life. He wasn't even starting a job, even to sell products from his family's farm.  

•After you finished your studies you got an office job (or whatever else you want) at the city.  

•One day you visited your hometown. As you walked the familiar roads of your village you ran into Eren. He was dragging a cart full of woods. His hair had grown a little, which he had pulled backwards, so they could not fall in front of his face. He was sweating because of his work and his clothes were having dirt on them.  

•Your appearance surprised him, not only because he wasn't expecting you to be on the village, but also because of your different look. You were wearing a pencil skirt, a buttom-up shirt and heels. You were also resting a shoulder bag around your right shoulder, also holding it's straps with your right arm. You were looking so elegant and beautiful, causing Eren to blush a little.

•You both stood still looking at each other,  Eren being at a loss with a slightly open mouth. He opened-closed his mouth slightly and finally spoke.

"Y/N?"

"Hey Eren"

You greeted him shyly, because you noticed his blushed and shocked state. Your eyes looked up at him, and you gave a small smile.  

"You have changed"

Eren added with admiration

"Really?"

You asked as you added a small awkward laugh

"Y-Yeah"

He answered while rubbing the back of his neck.  

"I'm sorry that I don't greet you properly. I'm full of dirt..."

•Eren added whipping slowly and awkwardly his hands on his clothes. He lowered his gaze down blushing more, because of his messy appearance, while you were there neat, with clean new clothes and your hair obviously made from a hair salon.

"Oh come on now, I grew up on a village, I know how it is, don't be sorry."

You told him while walking towards him.  

"I'm going to visit my parents. I would like to greet yours as well, would you like to accompany me?"

You asked him while standing next to him.  

"Y-Yeah, of course"

Eren answered and you walked ahead first as he turned his cart around to follow you. As you were ahead his eyes fell on your butt, who was moving right and left, wrapped with your tight skirt.

'That's city life'

He thought to himself, having slightly pink cheeks.

•That day you stayed for dinner at Eren's house. When you were about to leave you noticed that it was raining a lot outside, so Eren suggested you to wait at his home until the rain stops.  

•You two headed to his room, it wasn't like the first time you went there. You two had grown up like you were siblings or relatives, that's how close you were.  

•When you entered his room you headed to his bed and sat there. You leaned down and took off your heels with your hand leaving a pain sigh.

"Ah.. these heels are killing me. I suffer when I wear them for hours..."

You said while you lifted your legs on Eren's bed, benting them and resting them on your side.  

Not only Eren could see your bare feet through your tights, but your painted nails on your toes as well. If that would be possible, Eren would 'nosebleed' at that moment. But he tried to be expressionless, walking on his room like nothing was happening. He took a chair and sat across of you, resting his left elbow at the back of the chair and he also crossed his legs.

"Why you sat so far away?"

You asked him with full of question in your voice, smiling also at him in a way that was showing that you found his state weird.  

"Why you didn't sat there?"

You asked him again while looking and pat pat-ing the spot of the bed next to you

"Nah, I'm cool"  

He answered by closing his eyes and doing a circle with his hand/fingers with his left arm, in which he is supporting his self.

"No, you are not"

You told him moving your head slightly right and left, with an awkward side smile and added:

"You are acting weird"

"Am I?"

He asked trying to sound natural.

"Yeah"

You answered immediately. But Eren just shrugged and lifted his eyebrows as an answer to show that he wasn't seeing anything wrong. He changed the subject anyway.

"Will you stay many days here at the village?"

"No, I'm leaving tomorrow."

You answered to Eren.  

"So soon? Why?"

"I have to go back to work. I just came by to see my family and my closest people."

"Oh, so am I one of your closest people?"

Eren asked you by lifting instantly his eyebrows to tease you, also smirking at the same time.

"Of course, you idiot"

You answered seriously. Eren liked your answer and just stood still looking at you like he was observing your face, or you could say your expression. He then observed all of you, reminding to himself that you look beautiful and more woman than ever. It was like he was having a different Y/N in front of him. Eren was admiring you not only for your change but because you were an independent person who was living alone and working on the city. At the same time he was jealous by this kind of lifestyle and he was feeling like he had been left behind. (The living alone part I know that it may not be realistic for women back then, but anyway I wanted it like that)

•Some months have passed since that day. It was now a cold night of the winter and you were returning home from work.  

•As you were walking on the pavement, your eye fell on a man that was sitting down on a narrow pass between two buildings. He was sitting with his legs bented because of the cold and his gaze was down. He was wearing a white buttom-up shirt, black pants and a beige coat, all those clothes in a not good condition.

•For some reason that silhouette was seeming familiar to you, even though he looked like a stranger. His long hair were failing on his face, so it was difficult to see him clearly. But you approached him slowly.

"Eren?"

You asked that man without being sure it was really Eren. Only his eyes met you, without moving. The expression of his eyes was calm and his lips were slightly open, but he wasn't saying anything. How this man with the messy long hair, the grown beard and the sloppy clothes, who was sitting on the city's street like a homeless man, could be Eren? Yet, you couldn't ever forget his dark green eyes and you were sure that man was Eren.

"Eren is that you?"

You continue to ask that man but didn't get any answer back. Specifically, he looked away like he wanted to stop your questions.  

"Eren I know it's you, why you don't talk to me?"

You asked him worryingly and scared for his state. You approached him even more and bented your knees so you could come closer to his height.  

"Eren.. what's happening?"

You asked him quietly. That man, clearly that it was Eren, seemed annoyed by your questions, more like annoyed because of his state and that you found him like that. He rolled his eyes and turned his head to the right so he could avoid your gaze and he tapped his feet three/four times on the ground, as proof that he didn't like this situation.

"Go to your home Y/N"

He finally said with a low voice.

"Eren! I knew it was you! What are you doing here? Are you alright?"

You asked him obviously worried and grabbed his shoulder as you were talking to him. Eren shook his shoulder so you could let him go, his face still turned away from you.

"Y/N. I said. Go home."

Eren told you in a more demanding way. By the way his voice was sounding, you could understand that he was hurt emotionally.

"No.. Eren.. I don't understand. I can't leave you like that. Tell me, what are you doing here? What happened to you?"

It seemed like he wasn't about to answer.

"It's okay Eren, you don't have to tell me now. But, please, come with me. Let's go to my home."

No answer again.

"You are worrying me sick, you know- Oh my God, what happened to your face? Are you hurt? Did you got hurt anywhere else?"

You bombarded Eren with questions. Your brain couldn't accept what it was seeing and you were let's say shocked.  

Eren seemed to have some red spots and wounds near his left eye, which was not visible at first because his long hair were covering them. He couldn't avoid you anymore, you had discovered him at this terrible state and you weren't about to leave.

Once more he was looking away and his lips trembled. His eyes were a little bit red and misty.

"I decided to visit the city.."

He started saying but paused. You were waiting patiently for him to continue.

"I found a hotel to stay for while.."

Eren's gaze was down to the ground having the image of his previous days in his mind that he is describing to you.

"During my stay here...some strangers robbed me.."

He paused again like he was thinking before answering.

"...and hurt me in order to do to that."

You moved your head to your side with a sad expression, feeling sorry about Eren.

"I didn't have money anymore to stay at the hotel.. and we reach at my current state that you see me."  

Eren admitted at the end, not liking that he was saying all this to you.

"Why you didn't return home?"

You asked him quietly.

"How could I? How could I present myself to my parents like that? There was no way for me to do that."

Eren said determinedly, looking this time at your eyes.

"Why you didn't try to find me then?"

You asked him connecting your eyebrows worryingly.

"That's even worse. And see me like that? Not that you didn't anyway..."

He answered you, lowering his gaze to his knees.

"Eren.. don't say that. I'm here for you any time you need me. You have this bad habit and never ask for help from the others. Anyone needs help from time to time."

You told him reassuringly with care.

"How come you decided to come here in the first place?"

You asked him to learn more.

"I wanted to find a job."

He answered you

"But that didn't went well"

He added, something breaking inside of him.

"I can't do anything right. Nothing is right. Life is never with my side. Everything gets shittier and shittier, and in the end I'm a fucking loser."  

"No Eren, you are not a loser"

You tried to said but Eren interrupted you.  

"Yes, I am Y/N! I'm fucking disappointed with myself! I can't even understand me!"

Eren broke out having an indignant expression. You then approached him even more, shoving yourself between his knees and hugging him warmly around his neck. Eren returned the hug, shoving his face on your shoulder. His hand grabbed tightly your coat and he let out a small wimp, tears leaving quietly his eyes.  

You put your your right hand behind Eren's head, leaned back a little and touched your lips on his forehead, staying still for a while.

A drunk man that was walking not steadily down the pavement, passed by you two and laughed at himself.

"Lucky bastard"

He said loud enough looking at Eren, because in the eyes of his he was seeing a homeless man having a fine woman between his legs hugging and kissing him. And like that the drunk man lost in the dark of the night.

After your kiss on Eren's forehead you leant back resting your right palm on Eren's left cheek. Eren had a look in his eyes like he had found warmth.

"Eren, you will come now home with me and I don't accept any objection. You hear me?"

You shook a little Eren's face with your right hand as you said 'you hear me' to him. That's what Eren would like to do but he was too embarrassed to follow you. He just stood still having like a guilty look, looking you at your eyes. You could understood what the answer was by his eyes so that's why you said:

"Now get up"

You told him as you stood up first and grabbed him by his one upper limb to give him motivation to stood up.You tried to pull him but Eren let out a pain cry because his left leg was hurt. You did a worried expression looking at him in his face like you were asking him 'what's going on?'.

"It's nothing"

Eren said with pain in his voice and managed to stood still by grabbing your hand. You saw that he was limping so you grabbed his right arm and crossed it around your shoulders to help him stand. Eren looked at you with connecting eyebrows and added

"I'm a total loser"

"No, you are not! Shut up and move your butt!!"

You scolded him and like that you two took the road towards your apartment.

~°~°~°~

•One month had passed since the previous event. Eren is living now at your apartment for a while till he stands on his feet and find a steadily job.  

•He even got rid of his beard and decided to have a nice haircut so he would look more elegant. The day he did that change he asked you as he returned home.

"How do I look? Am I better now?"

He was all happy and lively, having a big smile. As he did the questions he posed turning left and right grabbing his suit's jacket.

"You always you look good. But, yeah, you look very nice now."

You answered naturally with a smile and kept tidying some things in the living room that you did before. Eren wanted you though to notice him more and said

"What do you say, would the ladies like me now?"

You did a side smile and turned only your head towards Eren.

"So you came only for the city ladies and not actually for working huh?"

You answered him teasingly.

"Well, I'm just wondering if it's too dangerous for me to go around with that new look of mine"

Eren continued the teasing looking himself in the living room's mirror and getting his fingers through his hair like he was admiring himself.

"Ladies' killer don't forget you have an appointment for your new job in a half an hour. You will miss the bus if you don't hurry."

You told him like a mum. Eren wished you would pay more attention on his appearance.  

"I know, that's why I got dressed so nice today."

He said, straightening up the collar of his button-up shirt, still looking at the mirror.

"It would be a pity though to wear my suit just for a short time. Why don't we go out after my interview and tell you how I got the job?"

He said smirking and sure of himself.

"Oh, you are asking me out mr. Jaegar?"

Eren tried to act cool and said

"I'm just asking an old friend of mine to accompany me after my today's success."

He answered still looking in the mirror observing himself, like if he was indifferent. You laughed with Eren's mood because you found his acting cute.

"Then how can I deny your suggestion? I will be ready by the time you return home."

You told him with a smirk. Eren suddenly felt the happiest man on the planet.  

•Eren indeed got the job and even though he was working he was still living in your apartment. To be more specific, he was sleeping separately from you, in the guest's room.

• It was supposed though to be like you two have agreed at first, for Eren to live with you until he could stand on his own. But none of you were saying anything about it anymore. You two actually were enjoying each other's company and wouldn't like to be separated.  

•One night you returned really tired from your work that the first thing you wanted to do when you would return home was to sleep.  

"Hey Y/N"

Eren greeted you from the couch in which he was sitting, smiling as you got home. You let out a 'hey' with a low voice as you were getting off your heels.

"How was work today?"

He asked you and you answered him by just turning your head towards him, showing him your exhausted state.

"Okay, I get it"

He added.

"How about I prepare you a nice warm bath to help you relax?"

He offered to you as he stood up approaching you.

"No, it's okay Eren. I'm so tired even for this. I will just go to sleep right away. Thanks for the thought."

You answered him as you headed towards your room to change your clothes. Then you visited to bathroom to find your brush. As you were combing your hair Eren appeared and rested himself at the doorframe, crossing his arms. He looked you up and down at you with a smile. You were wearing just a nightgown.

"You are beautiful"

He commented and you stopped your motions looking at him.

"Where did this came from?"

You asked him, observing him, having lips that wanted to smile.

"Nowhere. I'm just telling what I’m seeing."

"Well, thanks"

You answered him awkwardly, not expecting the compliment. Your heart started to beat faster not knowing what to do or say. You two stayed silence.

"W-Well, now, w-will you excuse me?"

You said to Eren still awkwardly by grabbing bathroom's door, meaning that you wanted to close the door and go to the toilet. Eren answered with a double nod and lifted his right lower limb to the air like he was saying 'yeah, of course' and turned away. He also rubbed the back of his neck while walking away, feeling nervous.

•As you returned to your room, you shoved yourself under the blankets and your eyes closed right away. Eren appeared by your door which was slightly open, hoping you haven't slept yet.

"Oh, Y/N, I forgot you to tell you. There's some dinner left. I cooked tonight. Your favourite fooood. Pasta."

He said playfully but as he opened the door more he saw that you have fallen asleep completely. You were laying on your back your face turned to the side. Eren approached you, climbing at the bed's side where was some space. You moved a little in your sleep because your sleeping state felt some interruption. Eren stopped moving, looking at you. He saw that your hands were out of the blanket. He grabbed the blanket's edge and he covered you properly. He then took some hair away that was infront of your face and thought 'Now it's my turn to take care of you'.

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

if you’re going crazy, just grab me and take me

summary: after the worst year with this fucking family, Ransom proposes on ❄️ chrstmas eve  ❄️ it obviously doesn’t go over as well as his emotionally-stunted ass thought it would.

warnings: every god damn word in this thing is a problem. rough smut. choking, anal, hair-pulling, biting, this shit makes the first chapter seem light, i’ll just say that. a lot of fighting. verbal and physical. there’s some fluff but don’t let ransom trick you like he’s obviously tricked me.

word count: this shit is almost 25,000 fucking words 😂😂😂. i dead ass kept being like why the fuck am I taking so long to post this? Then I saw the word count and I 😳🤭🤗��� someone pls tell me i did not just devote 25,000 words to exposing myself as a weak ass hoe for Ransom. pls tell me this is a fever dream. i can’t.

pairing: ransom drysdale x reader

a/n: holy fuck, am i a disaster. i apologize, i kept falling asleep and wow, i’m just confused about my entire process for writing this bc it was abnormal af.

part one: x part two: x (however, you don’t really need to read them to understand this mess? pretty sure.)

Christmas Eve:

It somehow felt that the entire hellscape that you were currently living in had simultaneously transpired yesterday but also years ago. That was the common feeling one was left with in times of so much exposure to Thrombeys. It was a whirlwind, but there were the good moments, and then the really bad moments, but then the kind of fun moments… It was a rollercoaster, honestly. One you had incorrectly believed you could cope with.

Meg and Joni had called you in a panic from the ski lodge they’d gone to in Canada. There was talk of stopping all flights, how were they going to get home? And lord, what about their home? Were they really supposed to stay there? Since being cut off, Joni had made some career moves that were smart, but she still had to scale back. They were in a much smaller place than before, one that was only temporary—Joni claimed as much about one million times while signing the papers for it.

Jacob had been the next to call, a hysterical Donna could be heard in the background. They had also been moving into another home because of financial issues. You weren’t sure what the ploy was with having Jacob call. Out of everyone in the family, he was the one you spoke to the least, maybe in competition with his irritating mother. Perhaps that had been the angle, were you really going to leave them isolated with their possibly murderous son in such a small house in an unknown neighborhood?

The answer was no. You weren’t going to leave out any Thrombeys. The Drysdales, on the other hand… You had made your terms quite clear. So, with the news of a quarantine sweeping across the country, these overprivileged people flocked to the house they had once called their own. But it was your house now, and that meant it was well within your right to exclude Linda and Richard.

The night you had told Ransom about it was…quite a night.

March: the arrival,

Your grand idea was to deliver the news quickly, over a drink when he was in the best mood he could be. You casually told him that Joni and Meg would be arriving first, then Walt, Donna, and Jacob.

He stared for a long time before simply stating, “I will not let them in the house.”

You rolled your eyes. “Ransom—”

He leaned forward, slamming his glass down on the table between you. “It’s not happening.”

You arched an eyebrow. Was he trying to be intimidating? Oh, you would be just terrified if you were an elderly author or poor nurse tasked with caring for the mentioned author. Seeing as you were his girlfriend, he was out of luck on that.

“I will lock the doors,” he declared, standing to place his hands on his hips. “Not one of those assholes is getting in here. You understand me?”

Instead of answering, you grabbed your drink and returned to the magazine in your lap. That was probably Ransom’s greatest source of irritation, when you decided you were done with the dramatics and ignored him.

He scoffed. “The fact that you think this is happening… It just goes to show—you call me a narcissist, but clearly, you are the narcissist! It takes one to know one!”

It takes one to know one? “Are you five?”

He crossed his arms over his chest.

With a soft sigh, you turned the page. It was silent for several seconds and you weren’t sure if he was trying to build up to something or if he just had nothing else left to try. Whatever it was, you told yourself you were ready for it. How many years was it now? You couldn’t be surprised anymore.

“Are you only with me for sex?”

And you stood corrected. Narrowing your eyes, you looked up at him. “I’m sorry?”

“You clearly don’t care about my feelings—”

“Ransom, seriously, shut up. This is happening, okay? Your family is scared right now, you could try being human. This was their home for a time, of course, they want to be somewhere they feel comfort—”

“No, I’m putting my foot down.”

You rolled your eyes again. “You don’t have a foot to put down. This is my house, too.”

“Too,” he repeated firmly. “Too!”

“Ransom,” you snapped, getting to your feet and throwing the magazine on the table. “Stop acting like a child. They will be here tomorrow. I’m going to bed and if you wanted to join me, that would be great.”

He sat back down, a clear indication that that was not happening.

Things with Ransom, since the last argument, hadn’t been as tense as you thought they would be. Majorly, nothing really changed. Well, sex changed. You guys just weren’t doing that, which was major, because of the rate at which it had been occurring. But other than that, nothing changed. He wasn’t ignoring you, he wasn’t not touching you, there was very simple no sex. At all. But was that something you were okay with? Hell no. It was getting old and you were getting fucking tired of it.

“Fine, if you don’t, just know that I am keeping track.”

“Track?” he narrowed his eyes. “Of what?”

“How many nights I’ve slept without you and how many nights you’ve gone without fucking me.”

“After your last indiscretion, did you really expect anything else? Which you still haven’t apologized for, by the way.”

“Apologize?” you scoffed. “For keeping a fucking vibrator? What do you want me to say, Ransom? Sorry that I have yet to give you total control over my body?”

“That is exactly what I want to hear.”

Without another word, you simply rolled your eyes at him and stormed off to the room you had once upon a time shared with your boyfriend. Not that he officially moved out. In fact, he was still sleeping in there and kept his shit in there. But he was not falling asleep with you nor was he was present when you woke up.

You had no idea what he was doing in there and you were trying to be human, unlike Ransom. Everyone deserved privacy. Besides, he’d made you your sunroom and it afforded him a lot of forgiveness. It was this tiny extension of the house that had huge windows and was just small enough to fit your yoga mat, a couch, and about a billion plants. You read there a lot, you also escaped Ransom a few times. You could understand his desire for an office. But as frequently as he was using it? That was scary.

Admittedly, it was difficult to stay mad at him when you walked through the house that you’d almost now completely rebuilt together. The only exclusion being the office. It had been one of those Harlan rooms that you’d never actually been in prior because you were not family. Weeks ago, you watched Ransom remove everything, add new things, but you still hadn’t been inside. He didn’t so much tell you that it was his own personal room, but it was very clear in how he locked the door. Like, all the time.

You had already been prepping for bed, knowing that the discussion was going to be exhausting. You threw yourself straight into bed, not overly optimistic about the possibility that you were going to fall asleep.

Maybe it was the argument, the mention, the acknowledgment that you guys weren’t having sex. Did he even care? It didn’t seem like it. That caused concern for you. You’d always thought that you would be much older when the two of you would be having no sex. You wondered if things were changing, if your relationship was changing.

Officially, it was hopeless. You were not going to fall asleep. You were just about to get back up when you heard him walking up the stairs, you froze, held your breath, hoped that maybe he wanted to end this. Instead, he walked by the room and to the end of the hall, where said office was.

Fine, fuck him. You just had to get up and moving, there was no shortage of shit you had to prepare. Jacob, though terrible, was family, and a teenage boy. You were going to set him up in a smaller room on the bottom floor. Harlan usually had live-in staff stay in that room if they ever fell on hard times. You figured he would enjoy the privacy. Walt might even enjoy not sleeping in the same room as the next Ted Bundy.

Meg’s room was the most used since she stopped by on weekends sometimes when Ransom was gone for the day or stayed out late. They always met in the kitchen when morning came to argue and give you a headache, however.

She probably needed towels in the bathroom. She might even end up wanting different sheets. Jacob would need more sheets. Was there a color you should give him in the case that the little psycho killed someone, if you wanted to prevent stains? Joni’s room had been cleared out except for major furniture so you wanted to get that set before the morning. You had intended to set all of this up at some horribly early hour, but you were too annoyed to try sleeping. What better time than now?

Did you even have food? You would probably need to go to the store in the morning. You would make a careful list and ensure that no one would need to leave the house again because you were not going to let one of these rich idiots get you sick. Food, sheets because as you were walking through the linen closet, you discovered that you didn’t have really any sets of sheets. Then, you would need laundry detergent, fabric softener. Not all the rooms had pillows—

“What the hell are you doing?”

Ransom found you madly scribbling on a notepad in the center of Joni’s room. You didn’t bother to look at him when you answered, “Making a shopping list.”

“May I ask what for?”

“We have no sheets or pillows or food…or really anything, Ransom. Are we fucking vampires?”

He sighed as he made his way to you. “Okay, it’s time for bed.”

“Go away if you’re not going to be helpful.”

“No, get up now.” But he was met with nothing but silence. Instead of trying another round of verbal communication, he effortlessly grabbed your arms and picked you up.

“Ransom!”

He abruptly took your face in his hands. “They’re lucky they even get to be here. You’re not doing a single thing for these people.”

“Stop, okay? This is our house, we have to have these things—”

“No, you stop. Stop trying to do anything for them because no matter what, they’re going to complain.”

You glared. “Are you trying to help? Just go back to your stupid office and leave me be.”

He arched an eyebrow at you. “It is time for bed. I’m taking you to the room—”

“I’m just going to sneak out as soon as you leave for your office, so don’t waste my time or yours—”

He abruptly threw you up over his shoulder.

“Ransom!” you shrieked in absolute panic, he had never done this. Dragged you kicking and screaming? Yes. Literally pulled you along the floor by your legs? Yes. This? No, not once.

He was quick to get to the room, worried about how exactly you would react, what you were willing to do to make him drop you. He tossed you down on the mattress.

“You’re such an ass! I have to—”

He silenced you by pulling off his T-shirt.

So, he interrupted you because he wanted to have sex? After he had been withholding it? You feigned an unbothered expression. “Ransom, fuck off.”

He scowled. “Why did I have to find you? Why did life bring you to me? Personally, the meaningless fucking was fine for me, a lot less trouble.”

You scoffed. “Do you think I like being with you?! You’re the worst person I’ve ever fucking met, possibly the worst person on this fucking planet!”

He rolled his eyes. “Get on your knees.”

“You are not serious.”

“I am.”

“No, you’re seriously fucking insane, but you’re not serious in that you actually think that’s going to happen!”

“Get. On. Your. Knees. You can do it on your own or I can do it for you.”

You weighed your options. You wanted to have sex with your boyfriend, you wanted to be close to him. However, if he left you after you sucked him off, you might end up killing him. But what could you do? Ransom was apparently in a mood.

Whatever theatrics that were going to occur tonight were already planned, you realized. If he was going to walk away, he was going to walk away. No amount of arguing or any other behavioral tactics were going to change that. You would hit him, you were sure of that, but at least you could get back to making your home presentable.

You reached back for a pillow and gave him a challenging look. He arched an eyebrow at you as you slowly jumped off the bed, laid your pillow at his feet and got to your knees.

“The fuck is this? You suddenly a princess?”

“I’ve always been a princess,” you declared. “One day, a wonderful man or woman, who’s going to give me an even bigger house, is going to know it.”

He glared. “What the fuck is your problem? Do I need to start paying you to keep your mouth shut?”

You snorted. “You have money?”

And that was, apparently, a line crossed for Ransom. Furiously, without another word, he yanked his pants open and shoved them down with his boxers.

Instead of staring at his cock in front of your face, you looked up at him.

He sighed. “Y/N, suck my cock.”

You shrugged. “Why?”

He took himself in one hand and grabbed your hair in the other. He brought your mouth to the head of his cock and waited patiently. You did nothing, simply kept your gaze on him. Rolling his eyes, he pulled at your hair.

You attempted to keep your lips clamped but he continued yanking until you opened your mouth to cry out. Then, without hesitation, he shoved his cock down your throat. You gagged instantly, hands snapping up to shove at his thighs. He wouldn’t budge, he kept you there no matter how hard you tried to push him away—which, admittedly, since you were so wet, wasn’t very hard—or how many times you gagged.

His free hand touched your cheek. “You’re fucking beautiful like this.”

He could fuck off—as soon as he was done coming, you would walk away. You didn’t even want to be fucked by him anymore. But sadly, you had missed the taste of him, the feel of his skin on your tongue.

When he finally pulled you off his cock, you gasped for air. Then, once again, he was thrusting back in. You were choking on him, eyes watering, throat burning, drooling, sniffling, hands begging to be let up again with how hard they gripped his thighs.

But Ransom only let you off when he wanted. The second time, he allowed you to try to catch your breath. Your head was spinning since you were not quite getting oxygen back fast enough. You were blinking away those tiny black spots appearing behind your eyes. He used one hand to wipe away the tears on your cheeks and whatever was falling down your chin.

Then he was bringing you down once more. Holding you in place, he began fucking your mouth slowly, gently, two words that normally did not apply to Ransom. He took his time, he wanted you aching and craving him, and you really fucking were. You thought you wouldn’t feel a thing if he walked away after thing, but now, you knew you were going to set that office on fire if he tried it.

As he neared his end, he grew noisier. You liked that about Ransom, he didn’t hold back due to some insane fragile masculinity thing—no, that was often displayed in less conventional ways. He liked fucking you and he liked letting you know.

He picked up speed eventually, paying no mind to the sounds of you choking every time he thrust in a tad too hard. You didn’t even care, you knew you would be soaking wet, if you just reached down and felt…

He yanked you down when he was coming, buried deep in your throat, reveling in the feel of your throat moving around him, trying not to choke, trying to breathe. “Don’t make a mess, baby, swallow everything I’m giving you.”

You tried, really, you were not just playing your usual game of disobedience. But he really was choking you, so when you tried to swallow, things did not go according to plan. You gagged, nothing was swallowed. A mess you did create. On him, the floor, yourself, the pillow.

Ransom pulled you off and then grabbed your arm to haul you up. His hand still in your hair, he forced you to look up at him, bending your neck back almost uncomfortably. You were still struggling with lack of oxygen and just about fell into him completely, clearly being bratty was not on your mind.

He waited patiently, as if he wanted an explanation. No, you did not intend to do the opposite of what he had told you, but you weren’t about to let him know that. “Baby,” he cooed. His hand slid up from your arm to your neck where some of his cum was sliding down toward your chest. “What was what?”

“Out of practice, I guess. It’s been months since you’ve touched me.” Okay, it had just barely been two months yesterday, but if he could be dramatic, you were allowed as well.

He arched an eyebrow. “Considering you only need to say one word to me, I don’t think you really want it that bad.”

“You’re right, I don’t.”

His expression fell. He had hoped you would desperately blurt out an apology, clearly. Without another word, he shoved you onto the bed.

You stared up at him, face composed. “Don’t you have an office to be in?”

“You seem very jealous of that office, baby.”

“Why would I be? I finally get to be away from you.”

He leaned forward and grabbed your shorts and panties. The way he ripped them off you was damn near violent. You both wanted something rough tonight. “Then why is your pussy wet?”

You shrugged. “Couldn’t be for you. I can’t remember the last time you made me come.”

He leaned over, slowly crawling his way up your body.

Without prompt, you reached between your bodies and pulled your shirt over your head, arching a little more than necessary.

He took your forearms and pinned them to the bed. “Tell me how bad you need me.”

You shook your head. “I don’t.”

“I’m not joking.”

“I’m not joking,” you countered. “I. Don’t. Need. You.”

He took your jaw in one hand, forcing you to meet his stare. “Y/N, seriously.”

He really wasn’t joking, but again, neither were you. “Ransom, if you walk out before you fuck me, I will leave you. Do you understand me? I’ll fucking disappear, and you will never ever see me again.”

He smirked. “I understand.”

“I need you,” you breathed, free arm sliding around his shoulder, clinging tight. “I really fucking need you. I need you inside me. You know it’s been too long.”

Smiling like he just won the lottery, he rolled onto his side a little, turning your hips with him. “Yes,” he agreed. “Too long, baby, I’m sorry.”

You knew he wasn’t. You felt his tip at your entrance and you held your breath. He was a dick, yes, but you had been absolutely starving for his touch, his attention.

He pressed inside and it stung almost as bad as it had the first time. You turned your head away, hand pressed to your mouth to keep quiet. You hadn’t noticed your eyes were filled with tears until he touched your cheek and you blinked in surprise. You weren’t sure what you were crying about, the pain or the relief of finally feeling him.

You kept yourself turned from him, hoping he would just drop it. Of course, he wouldn’t. Of course, the one time you were willing to give Ransom a pass to be a complete ass, he wouldn’t want to take it.

“Sorry, baby girl,” he cooed. He had stopped, letting you adjust to him. However, Ransom didn’t have an ounce of patience and you knew his restraint was slipping. “I’m sorry, I’ll make it better.”

You also knew he wasn’t sorry. You squeezed your eyes shut until he was buried inside you. Feeling so full was something you had missed but feeling wanted was what you had been longing for. He could say the words, he could give you lingering looks when you were wearing a dress or a tight top, but it wasn’t the same. It didn’t convince you like when he just grabbed you and used you to satisfy every sick desire he had.

He grabbed your face and forced you to turn back but your eyes were shut. Instead of trying to get you to look at him, he kissed you. His lips moved over yours until you were finally curling into him, his arm wrapped around your back and pinned you against him.

Intimate, close, slow, but so fucking hard, that was how he made you come the first time. There were no words, just grabbing each other, gasping into the kiss, biting one another’s lips, tongue and teeth, scratching nails, pulling hair. He watched your face as you were coming down, hips still snapping up, fingers brushing along your cheeks.

He rolled onto his back and brought you with him. You hissed at the ache of this new angle, using your knees to pull off just a little. He took your hands and set them to the headboard. The way he stared up at you, like he was worshiping every inch of you, it made your skin burn.

“Ride me,” he ordered.

Hands gripping the bed, your hips began to roll. Ransom stared the whole time, where his cock was disappearing inside you, your moving breasts, your gorgeous, soft body. He used one hand to pinch your nipples alternatively and the opposite hand to focus solely on your clit.

You were breathless, shaking, chasing after that climbing high. You let the headboard go in favor of grabbing his hands, dragging them up to circle around your neck. As he began to apply pressure, you continued bouncing on his cock, unashamedly screaming now that he was stifling the noise.

Watching your eyes fill with tears, hearing those strangled sounds tear from your throat, it was enough to get him there as soon as your cunt started to tighten. He was coming with you, squeezing your neck tighter, so tight you tried to pull his hands off you.

But it was futile, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He threw you down, rolling over so he was on top of you. You wrapped your legs around him, spreading your thighs and taking him in deeper.

He set one hand to the mattress to hold himself up but kept his other hand on your neck. He leaned over, forehead pressing to yours, breathing hotly against your skin. “Say it again.”

“Say what?” you choked out.

“You know.”

You always knew. He had only asked you for this one other time since you’d said it that first night. You stopped caring that he was probably never going to say it back. “I love you.”

His hips finally stilled. You weren’t sure what his response was going to be, but you knew what it wasn’t going to be. Yes, you’d stopped caring, but were you okay with it? You weren’t entirely convinced. But what were you going to do? Leave Ransom? That seemed highly unlikely.

So, you decided to speak before he could. “Even though you’re a fucking loser.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “And I guess you’re hot enough to keep around even if that mouth annoys the hell out of me.”

That, you suspected, was as close as he was going to get to ever stating his feelings for you. “Are you going to let me get back to my list?”

He rolled his eyes. “No. Not done yet.”

You arched an eyebrow. “Really? You lasted, like, three minutes—”

He gave you a sharp look. “Must be my age, I guess I’ll need a minute before I can go again. But you, baby girl,” he grabbed one of your hands and brought your fingers up to his lips.

You watched closely as he kissed every knuckle before he brought your hand down and pressed your first two fingers to your clit. You shuddered. “Ransom, wait—”

“Since you like getting yourself off so much, you’re going to—”

You sighed. “Ransom, please—”

“And I’m going to watch until I’m ready to fuck you again.”

You pouted up at him. “You said it was time for bed.”

“I changed my mind.” He pulled your legs from around him and sat back to watch you. He pulled one thigh further from the other and gave you an expectant look. “I wasn’t asking, baby.”

For what felt like the first time in years, you were woken up by your boyfriend with his hand between your legs. You were laying on his chest, he was kissing the top of your head, tracing patterns along your spine and just barely teasing your clit.

All he needed to know was that you were awake and then had you pinned underneath him before you could say a word. Last night was nice but now the sun was shining through the blinds and you could see all of him. The freckles on his skin, the fine lines around his mouth because he does actually smile even if he doesn’t want anyone to know. And all his muscles—ugh.

“Good morning,” he said softly.

You smiled. “I have to get up and start getting ready.”

“No, baby. The only thing you need to do is open your legs so your boyfriend can fuck you like you deserve to be fucked.”

“Oh, deserve?” you scoffed. “I always deserve to be fucked. What changed your mind?”

He shrugged his shoulder. “Does it matter?”

Few things did when it really came down to your relationship with Ransom. It was all one huge give-and-take and neither of you shied away from taking advantage of that lack of communication.

He kept you there for nearly half an hour, insisting that you give him just one more finish, but he’d done that nearly four times. The reason you were able to escape was that there was someone at the door. As Ransom when to see who it was, you ran for the shower.

You were surprised when he joined you. One of your favorite things in your entire relationship was taking showers with Ransom, but it rarely happened. Whether that be because you were always on a time limit when you were getting ready or because he woke up later than you.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder.

“I miss taking showers with you, you’re warm.”

He turned to kiss your cheek. “You going shopping?” he muttered against your skin.

“Yeah, we don’t have anything either. We’re out of your favorite cookies, you know.”

He hummed. “Okay, just be safe. Wear a mask and try not to touch anything you don’t have to. Put everything in the back of your car, I put hand sanitizer in there so use it before you touch anything inside.”

You scoffed as you looked back, eyebrow arching. “You sound scared.”

He shrugged. “Well, you know… I just don’t want you to get sick.”

You smiled a little.

“Because I don’t want to have to take care of you.”

“Ugh, Ransom!” You brought your hand up to flick his forehead, but he caught your wrist and used the opposite hand to turn you around.

His arm slid across the small of your back and he picked you up to walk you to the shower wall. He pinned you against it completely, the shower head was almost directly over the two of you. Instead of attempting to watch him, you closed your eyes and pulled him into a kiss by his hair. He angled his hips up and easily thrust inside you.

Your mouth dropped and you gasped, he used that as his chance to bite down on your lip. You were sore between your legs, but the ache was a reminder that Ransom had put aside his pettiness because he had wanted you so badly. You brought your leg up to hook around his hip and used that as your leverage as you began to roll your hips.

He shuddered and bit harder on your lip still trapped between his teeth. He only let it go so he could turn down and press his mouth to your shoulder. “Slow baby, fuck me slow.”

You did as he directed. You slid off his cock and then slid back down, using all the restraint you could muster because you couldn’t wait until his broke. You couldn’t wait for him to grab you and take charge.

His hand slid between the two of you and he began pressing down on your clit, just slightly.

“I could kill you, Ransom,” you blurted out. “You better not ever go so long without touching me again.”

He nodded. “I promise, I will not.”

If you had a question about his tone, it died when his hands finally grasped your hips. “Tell me what you want.”

“Hard,” you pleaded. “So hard, please. I want to feel you all day, I want it to hurt until you’re inside me again.”

And goodness, did he make it hurt. He fucked you until you could no longer stand, until you weren’t able to coherently tell him that you weren’t sure you would ever be able to on your own again.

He had to set you on the floor of the tub when he knew it was time to get out. You weren’t sure why, and if you had been in a better mindset, you would have remembered the importance of always asking Ransom questions about his actions. However, all you could do was stay still, a little dizzy, vibrating pleasantly all over.

It somehow felt like hours but only seconds that he left you alone. When he was standing you back up, you still didn’t have the good sense to ask what the hell he was doing, but you absolutely melted when he pulled you from the shower and wrapped you up in a warm towel. A towel that had clearly just come out of the dryer—this man, that he could be so perfect and just chose not to be, deserved to be in jail. Yeah, the murder thing was a strike against him, you guessed, but this? Unforgivable.

When you got back home, there were several cars that you had never seen. Somehow, despite not getting an inheritance, the Thrombeys still knew how to make money. Which just made the whole Harlan thing even more annoying. Why all the dramatics? Rich people didn’t get poor the same way poor people got poorer. It was merely a showing of greed.

But you could not dwell on things like that, otherwise, this whole thing was going to go bad much quicker than you had suspected. You also couldn’t be the one that made it go bad. You weren’t an actual Thrombey or a Drysdale—and never would be since you fell in love with the least committal one of them all. You, despite extending your home and kindness, needed to be a lot more behaved than Ransom.

As you were bringing in the groceries, you glanced at the cars. There were five in total and you shuddered to think Jacob was driving. He was about that age, of course, but still, yikes. Meg and Joni probably showed up separately, which meant Donna and Walt did as well. Okay, weird, but you long ago stopped trying to guess why these people did what they did.

You wrestled with the front door for a moment and the noise of it brought in Joni and Meg. The older woman was completely decked out in crystals, unsurprisingly, you had just read an about how crystal shops were doing particularly well at this time.

“Hey, guys,” you greeted.

“Thank you so much for letting us stay here,” Meg immediately responded, taking some of the bags from your hands.

Joni followed her daughter’s lead. “Yes, honey, let us help you.”

Okay, suspicious. These people rarely did a thing that would constitute as the simplest of work—save for Meg, of course. “Thanks, but Ransom really should be helping me.” You gently pressed the door back with your leg, not shutting it completely but trying to keep the cold at bay. “Ransom!”

“He’s in the kitchen,” Joni informed.

“Great, we can head that way.”

On the walk there, you found Donna and Walt were in what was now one of many family rooms. They greeted you a tad overenthusiastically—regardless, you couldn’t stop, you’d just deal with it later.

“You didn’t need to go shopping for us,” Donna said.

“Oh, it’s fine,” you assured. “We needed a few things, I thought I’d get it done all at once so you guys wouldn’t need to worry about it.”

As if given a cue, they all began to thank you again. Again, you would need to deal with this when your arms were less full and there weren’t about a million bags in the back of your car.

You led the way to the kitchen, Meg and Joni on your tail. “Was the trip over here easy enough?”

“So weird,” Joni claimed. “People are literally going insane. I went to my usual crystal shop before I got here…”

Typical. She proceeded to tell you about how she had an “altercation” with a woman for a tiger’s eye finished into the shape of her animal spirit guide—which you were forgetting at the moment, a swan or something.

You stopped trying to recall those past conversations in case she quizzed you about what your animal was—she had stressed the importance of finding it and you promised you would the next time you saw her—when you saw Richard and Linda sitting at your kitchen table. Ransom was at the counter, a glass of whiskey in hand.

You merely glanced at them before turning to him. There were no words at all for the rage you felt at that moment. Joni had stopped speaking and was working to get the bags she’d taken from you onto a flat surface so she could grab the rest.

“Y/N!” Richard greeted. “Thank you so much for letting us stay here.”

You lifted your eyebrows at Ransom.

“She obviously didn’t know, Richard,” Linda pointed out. “Because she’s been trying to steal my son away since the day that she met him.”

You turned to her. “Are you—?”

“No, no, no,” Joni interjected. “She didn’t mean that!” She set the last of the bags down and touched your shoulder. “She’s joking!” She turned to Linda. “You’re joking, right?”

“Of course,” Linda claimed, unconvincingly with a smirk that you had come to recognize as smug. Not that you’d seen it much on her, but her son, on the other hand…

Speaking of Ransom, he looked beyond exhausted. Only, he wasn’t, he was just trying to convey that because it was clear that he didn’t intend to have this discussion with you. It never was a discussion, because, for some reason, he made all the excuses in the world for his mother and would obviously choose her over you.

Suddenly, in your mind, things all fell into place. Richard and Linda probably got here after all the others, the rest had been set to get there around noon. He’d kept you in bed to stop you from getting home before them because then you could keep them out of the house, you could have caused a huge scene. Now? It was clear that you were outvoted, the rest of the family probably would have thought of you as unreasonable if you kicked them out now.

Fine, it was all fine. You weren’t going to argue about this, not then. It would give Linda joy to see you have a complete meltdown. Ransom had already humiliated you enough by doing this completely behind your back, you weren’t going to give her anything else.

You turned to the counter to grab his keys. “Well, then you get to go back to the store.” You threw the keys at his chest, probably harder than you should have, and turned to head back out to your car.

It was silent until you exited the room, then Linda felt the need to voice her opinion no one asked for. “I’m just saying, I wouldn’t marry her. She’s shopping for essential items the day company was planned to arrive?”

You turned right back around but Meg was there to usher you back outside. She knew you needed a moment of fresh air and a moment away from Linda. Meg was a rather sympathetic person, she understood completely where you were coming from. In her mind, you were right and Ransom was so wrong for what he did, and Linda was wrong as well. But she also told you, this was how this family went. Linda was at the top now that Harlan was gone. If you sincerely wanted to be with Ransom—and she was confused about that—you would have to suck it up.

That much you agreed with, to an extent. It was clear that you were never going to be able to fix these people completely, but you were trying to create boundaries. Linda could not hit your boyfriend, her son. But how was she going to learn that if Ransom didn’t give a damn? She wasn’t.

You were suddenly wishing you’d accepted the invitation from your parents to stay with them until this all settled down. You had been too scared, however, because of the distance that seemed to be growing with Ransom. Now, you just felt like an idiot.

He lied to you. He did this behind your back, and he used intimacy to distract you from his plans, and that was absolutely disgusting. You couldn’t get over that. You felt used, by the one person you’re supposed to be able to trust more than anyone else in the world.

“Meg, can we have a minute?”

You turned away as soon as you heard Ransom off to your side. If you had a minute with him, you would probably murder him.

“Um,” she started, shifting awkwardly.

“It’s fine,” you assured. “Can you start putting away the groceries, please?”

“Yes, I will do that,” she eagerly confirmed. Meg liked to feel helpful, she often felt guilty about her privilege and wanted to be anything but another typical Thrombey. It was refreshing given all the other extreme personalities you would have to be living with for a while.

“I bought enough sheets for every single bed in the house for the next ten years,” you informed. “Those are fine. We’ll just need more food, probably—”

Ransom reached out for your arm, but you jerked away from him.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Hey—”

You finally turned to him. “I am not talking about this. You lied to me, you did this behind my back—”

“She’s my mom—”

“And I’m your girlfriend!” you hissed back. “And I am so fucking tired of this and you. Last night, you had sex with me to distract me so you could fucking sneak your parents in here. Who does that?!”

“That’s not why I had sex with you—”

“Really?” you demanded. No, you wouldn’t be having this talk, it wasn’t happening. Turning away, you sighed, “It doesn’t matter. I’m done talking to you about this, I’m serious. Do whatever the fuck you want, Ransom. That’s what you always do anyway. I’m done caring.”

“Look, we can’t be fighting with these people here—”

“You should have thought about that before you lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie—”

“I’m having a really hard time right now not running you over with my car,” you asserted, “So I’m going to go back inside. I just need you to go to the store for me, okay? Please, can you do one thing, literally, Ransom, just one thing to help me feel, like, 10% less stressed about all of this?”

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll go to the store.”

“Great.” You started to pull out more bags from the car.

“Can we talk about this later?”

“I don’t know yet.” Hell no, but you weren’t going to tell him that. With full arms, you stormed around him and back into the house.

Later, when he got home, he discovered that you had moved out of the bedroom. Yes, you had moved your shit to another room, locked it, and acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

April: the parents’ bedroom,

It was six in the morning, you had just failed at finishing your yoga routine due to your pounding headache. You’d thought a smoothie would make you feel much better, but see, that was with the condition that everyone else was still asleep.

Not the case.

Joni and Richard were currently in the middle of a debate about anti-maskers. Joni, surprisingly, given all her healing crystals shit, thought anti-maskers were idiots. Richard, on the other hand, believed this was a free country and people should have the right to choose anything and everything because “that’s America”.

You had a blender full of ingredients and when you finally got to turn it on, it was comparable to an orgasm. If only because you and Ransom were back to a no-touching arrangement. You could barely stand to look at him.

They seemed unbothered by the blender, their argument only getting louder. You went to the cabinet to grab some pills, anything that would make your head feel better. Could anything with these people? You weren’t overly optimistic about that prospect.

You took your place back at the blender, leaning down to fall into the pain of that instead of the politics conversation. They did this often. Last week, it was whether people should vote this November. Prior, it had been traveling bans, canceled events, whether unemployment should be giving people as much as they are. Linda and Walt interjected sometimes, even Meg because she couldn’t remain silent on a few occasions, but you, Ransom, and Jacob all but steered clear of it.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and stood up straight. You didn’t want anyone knowing you weren’t feeling well. Richard and Walt always acted like you were dying, Joni would start with her crystals and lectures about the importance of meditating.

Thankfully, it was just Ransom. He had been out, he was wearing a scarf, a heavy jacket, and his pale cheeks were flushed red. He nodded out of the room and you followed because silence seemed too tempting.

“What is it, Ransom?”

He narrowed his eyes. “I need a reason to speak to you?”

Your eyes fell shut and you pressed your fingers to your temples. He wasn’t being serious right now, was he? He wanted to have a conversation right now? You felt on the verge of death.

He touched your shoulder again. “Are you okay?”

“Just a headache. Not a big deal.”

“Not trying to be an ass—”

You opened your eyes. “But you’re so good at it.”

“I told you this was a bad idea.”

“Ransom,” you sighed, shrugging his hand off.

He caught you before you could turn away. “Hey.”

“Ransom, please, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk much either.”

You narrowed your eyes.

He shrugged. “You know I know how to make you feel better when you have a headache.”

You hummed. “Sex? Why? Are you trying to distract me again? Were you hoping I wouldn’t notice your inability to wake up at a reasonable hour for me, but how willing you seem to wake up at 5 in the morning to have coffee with your mommy?”

“I wasn’t asleep,” he insisted. “And she heard me come downstairs.”

“Yes, great cover. So convincing.”

“I do not wake up to have coffee with her every morning. I haven’t been sleeping well.”

You lifted your eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He glared. “It’s because I hate sleeping without you.”

“You made me sleep without you—!”

“That was not what you think!”

You narrowed your eyes. “It wasn’t a temper tantrum over the vibrator?”

“No, okay, stop. We’re not going back, okay? No talk about the past, we need to talk about now. You’re the one that made me promise that I wouldn’t withhold sex—”

“I’m not withholding sex, Ransom, I just have no desire to be around you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Doubt that.”

“If you’re having issues sleeping, maybe you should ask your mommy to read you a bedtime story and—”

He pressed his hand over your mouth and started dragging you across the room.

Immediately, you started screaming at him. What the fuck? And you continued to do this until you realized he was leading you to Richard and Linda’s room. Eww, if you didn’t want to talk to him, you certainly didn’t want to talk to her.

But despite your struggling, he forced you into the room and slammed the door before you could escape.

“What the hell?” you demanded.

“This fight is over.”

“No, it’s not!”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculous because I care about you? I’m done, I can’t do this anymore. My parents want me to stay with them and I think I should—”

His eyes widened at you. “This is your god damn house—”

“You clearly don’t think so! I had one condition, just one fucking condition. I wanted her to apologize for trying to physically assault you and somehow that makes me the villain in this situation?”

“That’s not what I’m saying—”

“You went behind my back, Ransom.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

Wow, was that an actual apology? It didn’t matter. One apology a month later was too small. “Look, it’s too late, okay? I’m exhausted and I just want to go home—”

“This is your fucking home!”

“No, it’s your mother’s fucking home and it always will be if you let her do whatever the fuck she wants!”

“She apologized!”

“Oh, please,” you scoffed.

He reached into his pants and yanked out his phone. Easily, he found one of the last texts that they had exchanged and turned it to you.

Don’t tell your psycho, fragile girlfriend but I am sorry. I shouldn’t have acted the way that I did. I understand that it was out of line, it will not happen again. Can we come over? You know I don’t want to be alone with your father.

It took three seconds to go from partially angry to very, absolutely, completely outraged. You smacked the phone out of his hand and it clattered to the hardwood floor. “I’m going to fucking kill you, Ransom!”

He threw his arms up. “For what?!”

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me this earlier?!”

“She would have known that I told you.”

“And?!”

“And,” he began, “I…don’t really know what I thought would happen.”

You shoved at his chest and he didn’t even have the energy to step back simply to make you feel better. He didn’t move an inch because you shoving him was like a cat trying to push a lion. “You are such a fucking mommy’s boy! I’m done with this whole thing, I’m done with you!”

“No, you’re not!”

“Yes, I am! You can’t make me stay here, you can’t make me—”

“You love me!”

Your eyes widened. He made you tell him you loved him, never said it back, and now he was using it against you? “You are dead! Do you understand me?! I’m going to run you over with your fucking Beemer! Then I’m going to get a new boyfriend and I’m going to let him fuck me in that stupid fucking car!”

He grabbed a handful of your hair and your hands flew back to scratch at his forearm. He shoved you back onto the bed and made the mistake of rolling over to attempt to get away from him. He grabbed both of your wrists and managed to get them into one of his hands, then yanked down your yoga pants.

“You are tearing them, you ass!”

And then he smacked your bare skin hard enough that it echoed, loud enough that you were sure anyone in the kitchen could have heard it. Your entire body burned with humiliation, but you loved the pain. How had you survived so long without him doing this?

“Shut the fuck up,” he ordered.

“Are you seriously trying to fuck me in your parents’ room?” you snapped.

“No, I am going to fuck you in my parents’ room,” he corrected. “What? You’re not into this anymore? This wouldn’t be the first time.”

“They sleep here,” you reminded. “This is weird given your obsession with her.”

“I changed the sheets this morning.”

“Are you fucking serious? You’re her maid now?”

He smacked you again and you pressed your face down to muffle your scream. “No, I just always knew that I was going to fuck you here today.”

You waited until the pain subsided before you turned your face, Ransom was still working the yoga pants down, a task that seemed impossible with only one hand. “Where were you today?”

“I had a meeting.”

“With whom?”

“None of your business.”

“Yes, it is my business, you fucking dick! If you’re not going to let me go home—”

He spanked you again, harder now, it seemed like an angry action, not just a retaliating one. “You are home, this is your fucking home and if you suggest otherwise again, I fucking swear—”

“What?” you demanded. “You’re going to tattle to your mommy?”

“I should fucking strangle you,” he growled, and before you could say anything, his hand was at your pussy. He scoffed. “You are seriously this wet? You have so many fucking issues.”

“One issue,” you argued. “You.” But that was a lie and he was more than right. You could hear him moving his pants out of his way and you were nearly shaking with the need to feel him.

Abruptly, he shoved his cock inside you and you both moaned as you adjusted around him. It was loud, obscenely loud, there was no question about what you two were doing, and you honestly didn’t care anymore. Had he gotten bigger? No, that wasn’t possible. You were pretty sure it wasn’t.

You felt him moving to tear off his coat. “Don’t you dare throw that coat on this floor, Ransom.”

But he did and he did it so eagerly, like he wanted to irritate you. The floors were hardwood, Linda had her dogs in the home, and their fur got everywhere on Ransom’s clothes. He hated you, you hated it because he just threw things away—didn’t even donate them because he’s such a beast.

Next, you felt his scarf around your wrists and started struggling.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Shut up,” he snarled.  “You’re lucky I’m not fucking gagging you.”

As his hips began rocking just slightly, he grabbed your jaw and turned your head back. His lips found yours immediately and while you two were sharing a sloppy, unskilled kiss, he began driving his hips into you as hard as he knew you needed him to.

His skin was slapping against yours noisily, the bed was creaking, moving on those extra hard thrusts. He spread your legs out as wide as he could and held them there, fingers digging painfully into your skin.

Things became very clear to Ransom at that moment. You were underneath him, completely at his mercy since you were bound now. You were pouting, pretending that you didn’t like this, and he wanted to fuck that disobedience out of you. He sat back up, holding your hips as he kept steadily moving in and out of you. “I’m going to fuck your ass.”

You blinked once, twice. “What?”

He never pulled out, but he did lean over and start yanking on the drawers of one of the bedside tables.

“What are you doing?” No, he wasn’t going to actually…fuck you there. He’d never done it, he’d never even asked about it even though you brought it up a few times. He’d located your plugs that one time, he knew you were into it. But nothing. Why now?

“I know he has to have something,” he insisted.

“I don’t want to think about your parents like that.”

“Oh, no, just think of my dad like that,” he joked.

You shook your head. “Eww.”

“Oh, eww?” he checked. “Since when? You realize you can never talk about fucking him again, right? Looks like you’re going to have to provoke me in other ways now.”

“I didn’t mean ‘eww’ like that,” you claimed, “I meant ‘eww’ that your mom isn’t fucking him, and I definitely should be, because he totally deserves it for being such a great husband and father, but sadly, I’m here with you instead.”

“You’re such a fucking brat and—got it.” Ransom rarely moved fast, preferring to act like the cocky ass that he was, making it clear that he had all the time in the world to do whatever the hell he wanted. Because you were never going to say no. But now, he was acting like he was in a race.

Your body tensed up as soon as you felt the sharp cold against your skin. Ransom took his fingers and spread the gel over your skin, you gasped when you felt one of his fingers teasing your hole.

He did this a few more times, just making sure that you were properly prepped before his first finger dipped inside you. He set his free hand to your back when you tensed. “Relax,” he ordered. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you assured. You’d done this in the past, liked it, but it had been a long time since.

He started pumping his finger in and out and you began to squirm. You were trying to stay still and quiet, trying to hide how good he was making you feel, but he knew. When you pressed your hips back, he added his second finger and you winced.

His fingers already had you feeling so full. That was what you loved most about being with Ransom, you felt almost incomplete whenever he wasn’t in you. Your body was made to take his, to mold to him completely.

“Here’s how this is gonna go, baby,” he began. “You’re going to start sleeping in our bedroom again. Because I am the only man on this planet who can touch you like this and you’re going to stop being such a brat and taking that for granted.”

You scoffed. You were taking him for granted? Of course, every day you didn’t wake up on your knees for him was probably ‘taking him for granted’.

“Yes?”

You nodded, cheek pressed to the mattress. You didn’t care about winning anymore, you needed to be fucked. You lifted your head to look back at him. “Yeah.”

He pushed his third finger as slowly as he could.

You kept your attention on him, watching as his fingers disappeared inside your ass. As he moved his fingers back and forth, he started to tilt his hips. You were hyperaware of everything, you knew where his cock and fingers were, the wall between your two entrances was thin enough that you could feel it all.

He always thought of you as an insatiable, greedy little thing but even he was surprised when you said you wanted more. You wanted his cock, not his fingers, and he figured you were ready for it because you were soaking his length and the sheets.

As he positioned himself over you again, he pulled his cock out of your pussy and you whimpered. He brought his cock up and spread the fingers inside your asshole to open you up for him. You had never experienced Ransom gentler than when he pressed just the tip of his cock into you. You observed in awe, mouth dropped, panting, desperate, soaking. You knew when you were going to feel him, but you were not prepared at all. His cock was bigger than any plug you had used and you were aching.

He groaned when his fingers were out and all that he could feel was you squeezing the hell out of him. “Fuck. Think you can get on your knees for me?”

You nodded but made no moves to do so. He did instead, lifting your hips, and then grabbing your upper arms to keep you there. You pressed your hips down, swallowing more of his cock, whining and moaning at the painful stretch of him.

“Fuck yourself,” he told you.

You were shuddering, body screaming at the uncomfortable angles you were moving. You pushed your hips up until you felt the head of his cock and settled back down until it felt like it was too much, over and over until he knew that your muscles weren’t capable of continuing.

“Almost there,” he promised, lips at your ear. “Almost taking all of my cock, baby.” He let his hands slide down a little, toward your elbows for leverage, and then he started thrusting. He was careful not to go too deep, listening to the sounds you made because words were not your strong point when he was inside you.

You leaned over a bit, unable to hold yourself up completely. You were hovering over the pillows, his hold on you tight enough that you weren’t worried about falling forward. You were practically choking on a scream when one of his hands moved around you to your clit, immediately feeling lightheaded.

You folded over more and Ransom released your arm to grab your hair. Since you weren’t strong enough to hold yourself up completely, he was yanking on the roots of your hair. Your thighs were quivering because you were using them as your only source of balance, and all of that distracted from the painful stretch of his cock driving into you more and more each time.

Your pleasure was slowly climbing. By the time you were coming, your pussy was dripping onto the sheets, you were sweating, shuddering, gasping for air that you couldn’t seem to get enough of.

And he was only halfway inside you. He shoved two fingers into your cunt and used his grip on your hair to shove your face down on the mattress. All his weight pressed down on you until you were flat on the bed, trapping his arm between you and the mattress.

He left you with some space to work, you rode out your high by fucking yourself on his cock and fingers. You were drowning in the sensations, overwhelmingly full of a man that you knew would eventually drive you crazy.

When your body fell limp, he released your hair and grabbed your hip, guiding you to another devastating orgasm. “You still doing okay, baby?”

For a moment, you could only respond with a moan. His thumb brushed over your clit and you gasped. “Daddy, please, please, please—!”

“You think you deserve it, baby?”

“Please make me come,” you begged.

He waited until you were finishing around his fingers and finally, shoved his cock in completely.

You buried your face in the bed, screaming, sobbing, crying his name. He brought his hand from your hip to your hair, petting and shushing you, and that was all you ever needed from Ransom.

He gave you only seconds before his hips were rolling, his fingers pumping in and out of you, thumb rubbing your clit. He paid no mind to you, he simply used your body, no matter how much you were shuddering and shaking from the aftershocks of your orgasm.

It was almost immediate that he pulled out after he finished and climbed off the bed to pull you with him. Your legs were shaking, but he held you tight to keep you up. He turned your back to him so he could watch his cum drip out of your ass.

When he turned you back to him, he gathered his cum from the inside of your thighs and ran his hand across your mouth. Fucked out, covered in him, you never looked more beautiful.

“This is your home,” he told you. “If you say it isn’t again, you won’t be able to walk for a very long time. Understood?”

You shrugged. “I’m not sure I’m convinced yet.”

Ransom tossed you onto the bed like you weighed nothing and went to the door just to lock it. Was it weird that you thought you might get something out of Linda pounding on the door while her son was absolutely pounding you?

May: the anniversary,

It was Linda and Richard’s anniversary and that meant that everyone living in the house had to celebrate because the Thrombeys were starting to face withdrawals from not receiving enough attention from others.

Joni and Walt had decided to cook dinner that night and it surprisingly did not end in disaster. There were some presents, the family was trying their hand at online shopping and as the days ticked by, more and more packages were showing up every day.

The night was ending with a game of charades, something you and Ransom elected not to take part in beyond watching. The first team was Meg, Walt, and Richard. The second team was Joni, Linda, and Donna, and Jacob was the referee. They needed one, every single game because they were oddly competitive and whenever things got too aggressive, they were given a card, from green to red. Red meant disqualification, you’d only seen it happen twice in all these years, but it was great when it did happen.

You couldn’t help but watch Richard and Linda. They’d been married for so long now, so you didn’t understand why Richard had had his affair when he did. She wasn’t overly young, she had no money, it just didn’t make much sense to you.

You were on Ransom’s lap in the chair in the corner of the room. He had been drinking all night, so you chose not to. You guys were a better team when you were coordinating like that. He was always weird about his parents, you figured that was why he’d been off all day.

“Do you think you could ever forgive someone if they cheated on you?” he asked.

You turned to him, eyebrow arched. “I would murder you.”

He scoffed. “Come on, be serious.”

“I am being serious, Ransom.”

“If I were going to cheat on you, I would have already done it. I meant in a general sense.”

“I don’t think you love someone if you cheat on them,” you reasoned. “So, would I forgive? Maybe, I guess, whatever that even means. But would I stay? Hell no.”

“Right?”

“You talking about your parents?”

“It’s so weird, isn’t it? I mean, not really. Men are men and don’t they all eventually cheat?”

“You are playing with fire having this conversation with me.”

He scoffed. “I just don’t get it, why would she stay?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “It seems like you all have your, like, comfortable environments. You don’t really want to leave them…at least she gave him that killer black eye.”

“Yeah,” he recalled with a small smile. “But…I don’t know, I don’t completely blame him, either.”

“Ransom,” you warned.

“No, I’m not saying it’s my mom’s fault, but…she doesn’t exactly love him either. Maybe he thought she used to.”

“Maybe she did.”

“Yeah, maybe…I don’t know, if you’re blackmailing someone essentially—”

“She’s not blackmailing him.”

“He has no money,” he insisted. “He’s terrified. She holds it over him constantly.”

“Ransom, right now, choose. Me or money?”

He turned to you. “No hesitation, I would choose you.”

You were almost surprised to hear that, you thought…you had always thought you were Ransom’s second love, honestly.

“What? Were you expecting something else?”

“I don’t know.” You didn’t want to make him think you thought so low of him. It was a pretty vile accusation.

“You do, that’s fine…because I do believe that if we didn’t have money, it would tear us apart.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” you argued.

He arched an eyebrow at you. “You love your diamonds and this house. And I like spoiling the hell out of you… I know those are simple things, but to have to work for things? We couldn’t make it.”

“Well, he obviously wasn’t that scared, or he wouldn’t have cheated. That was my point. You’re acting like money is the most important thing, if it was, he wouldn’t have risked it.”

“True. I don’t know if I would be able to deal with it.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and laid your cheek against his. “Ransom, baby, you’re jealous of inanimate objects and you once fucked me every day for a week and didn’t let me come because you thought I was talking to my ex.”

“It depends how it started, that’s all I’m saying. People aren’t perfect, you know.”

“I am,” you declared.

He scoffed. “You let me fuck you while you were dating that ex.”

“You coerced me,” you argued. “I was innocently in my own room and you just showed up—”

“So, you’re saying I seduced you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Can we go to bed? I don’t think there are going to be any fistfights tonight.”

“I’m sorry, baby, I know you were looking forward to that.”

“A bit,” you admitted.

“I’ll tell you about the time my mom tackled Joni at my high school graduation.”

You gasped. “I love when you tell me stories.”

Ultimately, things had gone back to normal with you and Ransom. He was sleeping with you more nights than not, he was in his office much less, things seemed to be in a much better place.

June: the affair,

Until June rolled around.

Then all his office shit started up again, the late nights, the insane number of hours. You tried to be understanding, but then he was abandoning you at family dinners and there was the time some moron rear-ended you and you had to call Walt because Joni and Meg weren’t picking up their phones because it was five in the morning, and Ransom wasn’t either because Ransom wasn’t a reliable boyfriend.

He had been apologetic, and you were just relieved that it had been an overall easy situation, so you didn’t hold it against him. Not until you had to borrow his phone to call yours because you had once again misplaced it. You were, once upon a time, a very organized, together person. Then the Thrombeys moved into your home.

You saw dating apps. Dating apps! On his fucking phone. You had no idea how to react, so you just didn’t. You made the mistake of letting everything grow, everything just pile on top of one another until you were at your breaking point.

Linda liked to poke at you and normally, she couldn’t. Because normally, Ransom was around. Because Ransom knew how his mother was and he knew how you were, and he just didn’t want anyone to end up dead.

That changed one morning when you were making pancakes and she came in for her early morning coffee. She asked where Ransom was and that was really the start of it because she did know. She found it hilarious that Ransom had his own office and never let anyone else in. She hated that she wasn’t allowed in but was placated that you weren’t either.

But you told her where he was anyway because you were attempting to be civil. She pointed out how much time he was spending in his office and you pretended it was common, she then asserted that that was how Richard was behaving during his affair.

And honestly, why hadn’t you thought of it before? He had to be having an affair, you always heard him typing in his office. He was clearly on some website, probably some BDSM chatroom, and you were going to fucking kill him.

It all made sense now, last month when he’d asked you if you would forgive cheating. That was just Ransom being Ransom, he was trying to guess your reaction if you ever found out. Well, you hadn’t been exaggerating, you would kill him.

You stormed up to the office and started pounding on the door. The rest of the family was going to hear you, but they were smart enough to know they better just mind their own business in their rooms.

“Ransom!” you yelled after minutes of no answer. Again, you were met with silence and that was when your irritation became fury. “Ransom, I will kick this fucking door down! You know these doors are old and weak and I can do it!”

Long story short, the doors were stronger than you thought, and you could not do it. The low point of your life was probably having to crawl to Meg’s room and ask her to call their super-expensive home doctor because you had done something terrible to your foot.

Ransom showed up three hours later after you had been all wrapped up and the family was fawning over you. You were being forced to sit on the couch and they would not stop asking you if they could get things for you. You were already wearing three different crystals, Walt had made you hot chocolate, and Jacob was checking his horror movie collection for your favorites.

“What the hell happened?” Ransom demanded.

You glared at him. “Where were you?”

“I was out for a walk.”

“And you didn’t take your phone?” Richard pressed. “We were calling you non-stop.”

“I left it up in my office,” he informed, moving to your side. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“She tried to kick down your office door,” Linda answered.

Ransom gave you an incredulous look. “I’m sorry?”

“You should be,” you retorted. You never argued in front of the family because you and Ransom were a team. Yes, you fought, but you never wanted to give the family insight on the cracks in your relationship because you knew they would exploit them.

“Enough,” Meg cut in. “No arguing, Dr. Fields told her to take it easy.”

“You had to call the doctor?” he questioned. “What did you do?”

“Fracture,” Linda informed, “Not that big of a deal. Please, continue arguing.”

Everyone else glared at her while you and Ransom glared at one another. It was then that Jacob reappeared with one of the Saw movies. Typically.

August: the book,

You had taken to sleeping in Meg’s room with her because Ransom was a demon, but he wouldn’t try to enter her room. Ever. So, you comfortably stashed yourself away there every night and stayed there most mornings until noon. She didn’t mind. You’d gotten her a tv in there, so you watched Netflix a lot.

You had yet to confront Ransom with your accusations because you were scared. This family was obscene, being part of it was insane, every single person here was terrible in their own right. But you liked talking to Meg, you liked gardening with Joni, you liked reading the newspaper with Walt in the mornings and talking about the crime section. Even Jacob wasn’t the worst company, he liked to watch Dateline with you.

Ransom was convinced that you were just mad at him because you fractured your toes and couldn’t do yoga for a while. You were fine with him believing that because then you would have to have the conversation.

It was an odd situation to be in. You were sure he hadn’t physically done anything, but you weren’t sure if that should make you feel better or worse. He was connecting with someone and after your conversation, it was clear that he also believed you couldn’t cheat on someone you love. Given that he’d never said he loved you, you were rightfully concerned.

Did he ever love you?

Did you just spend almost 7 years with someone who was never going to feel that way about you? Did you throw away all those opportunities with someone else? Did you stupidly choose Ransom over your family?

Did you let this happen?

You had said you couldn’t forgive it, but now you understood why Linda did. If you love someone, you just don’t want to lose them. You hope that they don’t betray you, but what about when they do? It’s not easy to just leave.

You still loved Ransom, you always would. You didn’t want to lose any of the relationships you formed with the family, but it was different with Ransom. You didn’t want to, obviously, but you also couldn’t. You couldn’t imagine a life without him, you couldn’t imagine moving on, you couldn’t imagine being with someone else.

What did that mean?

You weren’t sure about the long-term answer, but short-term, it meant that you were going to pretend. He wasn’t cheating, he didn’t have dating apps on his phone, he didn’t even have an office as far as you were concerned.

Nothing. Everything was perfect.

Until Jacob’s birthday. You weren’t aware of it before, but unsurprisingly, he was a fucking Leo. You made a mental note to investigate the astrology of certain serial killers Jacob reminded you of, but you would do that with Meg later.

You were helping Walt and Joni cook this time. Apparently, they were the only Thrombeys that knew how to cook and were pleased to have another addition to the small team. It wasn’t a particularly difficult meal, lasagna with garlic bread, but it was Jacob’s favorite.

The plans had been made the week prior, Ransom was going to do one thing for you. Just one, you asked for so little. He would pick up the cake at noon and hide it in the second kitchen. Hide because Jacob wasn’t aware this was happening. He didn’t like to be the center of attention and if he knew this was happening before it was actually happening, he would do anything he could to stop it.

But come 2 PM, three hours after the cake was set to be picked up, you received a call from the bakery. You had let them know that your boyfriend was going to pick it up and you left his name with them and everything, all Ransom needed to do was show up.

The woman on the phone informed you that that didn’t happen, and they were about to close because of pandemic hours. You promised you would be in before she needed to shut the doors and since you were comfortable with your window of time, this was done. Over. First, you were going to yell at Ransom.

You quietly made your way to his office and listened with your ear pressed to the door. You didn’t make a sound until you heard him typing, then you started banging on the door with both hands.

It was seconds later that he answered the door, a confused look on his face over your apparent urgency. He looked like he’d pulled an all-nighter and smelled like a lot of alcohol. “What?”

“What the fuck, Ransom?”

“What? What do you need?”

You tried to open the door, but he held it in place.

“What the hell are you doing?”

You were getting into that office because you were going to find out what he was doing, he was not going to continue to lie to you. You kicked his shin and when his leg buckled, you shoved your way in.

“Hey!” He hurriedly shut the door behind you. He did not want anyone else getting in.

It looked like a normal office. There was a full bookshelf of titles that you couldn’t read because your anger was blurring your vision, there was a desk, a laptop, chairs, a bar cart, not a thing out of the ordinary. What the fuck was he doing in here all day?

There was only one logical answer. You finally turned to him, hands on your hips. “Who is she, Ransom?”

“What?”

“I know you’ve been cheating on me and I’m not going to play this game with you! I just want to know who the fuck she is!”

“Are you out of your mind?!”

“Yes, I’m out of my fucking mind! I’ve been living with your psychotic family since March, dealing with their shit on top of yours, and you are now cheating on me! Please explain to me how anyone else wouldn’t also be out of their mind!”

“I’m not cheating on you!”

“Really?! Then what the fuck are you always doing up here?”

He paused at that.

The camel’s back broke. This was officially over. You turned around and rushed to his computer. He only took a second before he realized what you were doing and followed you there.

“I swear to everything above, if you are in some pathetic chatroom—”

He leaned over you just as you reached for the laptop and slammed it shut. “I’m not cheating on you!”

“Then let me see your fucking laptop!” You didn’t care that he had his hands planted on it, you still grabbed the opposite ends and tried to pull it out from under him. It wasn’t a logical plan since he was much stronger than you, but you weren’t necessarily operating on logic.

“You are crazy,” he asserted.

You moved your hands to the top edge of the laptop and threw your entire body back into Ransom. More than anything, it probably shocked him into moving back. Had you known that it was going to work, you probably would have been better about keeping your footing. Since that wasn’t the case, you both ended up on the floor and for a split second, the laptop was only in your hands.

You dove forward, just inches from the door.

Ransom rushed after you, grabbing your leg to pull you back down.

You knew he was going to get you under him, you wrapped your arms tight around the laptop and started screaming. Joni or Richard might feel inclined to call the police if they thought the two of you were honestly fighting.

Ransom slammed his hand down on your mouth as he crawled over you, knees pressed to your hips to keep you pinned there. “What the hell is wrong with you!?”

You didn’t say a word and you didn’t let your hold on the laptop waver for even a second.

“If I move my hand, you better not scream again,” he warned.

Obviously, you were going to. As soon you could, you yelled, “Call the police, he’s going to kill—!”

Ransom covered your mouth again, eyes wide at you. “You have lost it!”

It was then that you realized you needed to do something. He had the upper hand, and he was going to get the laptop away from you if you did nothing. You started swiping at him with both elbows and knees, never catching anything, but making him nervous enough to back off a little.

Fuck it, he was done trying to be reasonable with you. He moved his hand again, but only to start fighting with you over the laptop again.

“Let it go!” you shrieked.

“You let it go!” he countered. “It’s mine!”

“Not anymore, cheater!”

“I’m not fucking cheating on you!”

“If you have some online BDSM girlfriend, I’m going to fucking kill you!”

“What? What the hell goes through your mind!?”

“You’re constantly in here and you won’t let me in, and you never tell me what you’re doing, you never tell anyone else either—”

“Because I hate my family,” he reminded.

“And clearly, you hate me!”

“I don’t hate you, you’re being childish.”

“Tell me her name, Ransom, or so help me—”

“I’m not cheating!”

“I saw the dating apps on your god damn phone!”

“I am not cheating!”

“Then what are you doing?!”

“I’m writing a book!” he hissed.

You froze. He was what?

He kept his voice quiet, “That’s where I was a couple months ago, the meeting that I told you was none of your business. I only had a few chapters, but I got a deal out of it—”

“Get off me.”

He blinked in surprise and then hurried to do so, helping you up, no longer interested in stealing away the laptop.

You held onto it because you weren’t yet sure if you were going to use it to cause severe bodily harm to him. He was writing a book and didn’t tell you? You didn’t know he was interested in writing at all. You didn’t know he could sit down and write more than one entire sentence. He was always moving around, throwing himself into mindless activities.

A book?

You were hurt. Getting a book deal was major and he didn’t tell you he was trying for it, but then he didn’t even tell you that he’d gotten it. He had this huge thing in his life that he kept separate from you and that hurt your feelings.

“That’s was the apps were,” he explained. “I was doing research. Honestly, I’ll let you see the profiles, they’re not even pictures of me. I haven’t spoken to anyone either, it’s just very basic—”

You held the laptop out to him.

He slowly took it back from you, preparing for any other extreme reaction you might have. What he wasn’t expecting was complete silence, he figured you must have been confused by this. It was rather sudden, even for him. “You going to say something?”

You debated for a long while. You wanted to ask why he was pushing you away. You wanted to ask if it was because he didn’t think you were supportive, if he just didn’t want you to know, then you wanted to know why that was. What had you ever done that made him think he couldn’t tell you about this?

“I have to go get Jacob’s cake.”

“Shit!” He ran his hand down his face. “I completely forgot—”

“Don’t worry about it.” Then you were rushing out, ignoring the curious looks from the family on the way.

October: Ransom’s birthday,

It had been seven weeks since you found out about the book and seven weeks since you last had an actual conversation with Ransom. That was your doing purely, and he made the attempts, but you ignored them.

Linda was thrilled. This was different than when you and Ransom were fighting, because fighting indicated that you had the desire to win, he had the desire to win, but then that meant a resolution would follow. If you were ignoring him, what did you want? She hoped it was the end of the road for the two of you.

You weren’t sure. About anything. But you just had to go day by day and listen to yourself. Up to now, you weren’t sure what you wanted to do. As time went on and you were left to wallow in your hurt feelings, you were wondering if maybe this was the end.

Seven years and he didn’t tell you he was writing a book? That was insane, that was inexcusable. You didn’t get to have any part of your life not completely exposed to Ransom and you were okay with that. Obviously, he didn’t feel the same.

Seven years, a nearly dead modeling career, no skills, no aim in life. You had no idea how you would start all over. You had no idea how you would live your life without being Ransom’s girlfriend. It was practically a title, like the queen, and you loved it. You loved him.

But he didn’t tell you about the book! How could you get over that? Well, you could talk to him, but you were not going to do that. You just weren’t ready because you would want to know why and all the answers that were playing out in your mind were not going to make you feel better.

It didn’t matter, or more correctly, it couldn’t matter. Ransom’s birthday was coming up and Linda was trying to fight you on everything.

It was October, the worst of the pandemic was over, wasn’t it? No, you didn’t think so and anyone with two solid IQ points wouldn’t either. She wanted some family over, some of his friends—Megan, you had heard her mention to Richard. You didn’t want a single person in your house, no one outside of the family.

She suggested going to a restaurant then, but you knew Ransom hated when they threw him parties like that.

She wanted him to have a red velvet cake and you knew that Ransom hated red velvet. He preferred lemon, but he told you that you were never allowed to get him a lemon cake because he would eat it all. He was fine with chocolate, didn’t hate it, didn’t love it.

If you weren’t going out, then she wanted catering from his favorite restaurant, and a minimum of 30 people over, the house was big enough for it. It wasn’t even his favorite restaurant, the one she wouldn’t stop talking about, you knew for a fact Ransom did not like 30 people, and the house was not big enough for it.

On top of all of that, she kept asking you what you were going to get him. She just didn’t want to get the same thing. Why would that happen? Why would she get him the same thing as you? You had no idea, but she insisted on knowing. Problem was, you didn’t have an answer to give her. You had no idea what you were going to get Ransom.

Three days before his birthday, Ransom found you on the floor of the kitchen with an icepack pressed to your forehead. It was three in the morning, you had most of the lights off, only your phone and laptop providing light. Even in the dim kitchen, he could tell that you had been crying, eyes puffy and red, tear tracks down your cheeks.

He had been in his office, more writing. He’d only come down for a glass of water, sure that no one else would be awake at such an odd hour. This was the first time in a long time that he had seen you alone, and this naked. Usually, you were surrounded by the family, Joni being the greatest culprit. And since you still weren’t sleeping in the bedroom, he hadn’t seen you in your tiny shorts and bralettes.

He sat down at your side, setting his hand on your thigh. “Hey, is everything okay?”

You tossed the icepack onto the floor. “I never got stress headaches before your family moved in.”

“Yeah, I noticed that.”

It was silent for several moments after that, you were thinking about how you wanted to approach this topic. It was clear now, in your mind, why he hadn’t told you about the book. “I never listen to you.”

He turned to you, eyebrows pulled together. “What?”

You were already crying again, tears rolling down your face. You had felt terrible these past few weeks and you were finally beginning to understand why. “I don’t listen, I’m a terrible listener.”

“No,” he protested. “You’re not a terrible listener—”

“I have no idea what to get you for your birthday. I never know, I never get you a good present.”

“Yes, you do,” he argued. “And you don’t need to get me anything—”

“Of course, I do!” you blurted out. Was he insane? This was his birthday, you couldn’t not get him something for his birthday. “This is why you didn’t tell me about the book, right?”

His eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“Because I don’t listen,” you explained. “Why would you tell me about it if I wasn’t even going to listen, right?”

“Baby,” he sighed, “That’s not why I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, honestly—”

“You didn’t tell me you were writing, you didn’t tell me you were trying to get published, and then you didn’t tell me about the book deal.”

“I know…I was going to.”

“But?” you prompted. “How could you not tell me about any of it?”

“I was worried.”

“Why?”

“Because of fucking Harlan. He’s the world’s best mystery author, for whatever fucking reason. I was worried that you wouldn’t think I should do this. I was worried about how it would look. I don’t want to follow in my grandfather’s footsteps like the rest of my pathetic family.”

“So, were you just never going to say anything about it?”

“Well…maybe. There’s something else… I wasn’t sure I was going to use my name, so it was completely possible that I could keep you from ever finding out about them. And if you ever got suspicious, maybe publish a few of the others under my real name.”

“Others? What are you talking about?”

“So…my book deal is for, at the very least, three books. In a series. If they do well, I can do others, with the possibility of keeping this series going…whenever I feel inspired to do so.”

“Okay…what’s the series about?”

“A woman.”

You narrowed your eyes.

“A very mean woman,” he clarified. “She’s a black widow, you know, marries rich men, murders them, takes the money…and I’ve sort of been using your name.”

Your eyebrows slowly rose. “You’ve been writing about me?”

“No,” he immediately protested, then sighed. “Okay, a little, but she’s beautiful. I mention that a lot, I promise.”

Yes, you were relieved. But was he completely off the hook? You slapped his shoulder. “Are you serious?”

“Hey,” he held his hand to the skin that you had just smacked. “Ow, maybe don’t hit me just days away from my birthday if you didn’t get me anything.”

“God, Ransom, I was really hurt.”

“I’m sorry about that. Really, I know I rarely ever apologize and sometimes, I don’t mean it, but I mean it now.”

“Well, can I read some of it?”

He smirked. “I don’t know, baby girl, you haven’t been behaving lately. You tried to break into my office, hurt yourself, and then did break into my office to steal my laptop. You thought I was cheating on you.”

“I saw dating apps, Ransom.”

“After we talked about my parents—”

“You lock yourself in your office for, like, 20 hours at a time—”

“And some BDSM chatroom? Because you’re normal in bed?”

You rolled your eyes. “Look, I’m sorry for accusing you of cheating, but you should have told me about the book. Which you apologized for, so it just cancels out. Let’s do what we usually do and just pretend it never happened.”

“You told Joni to call the cops,” he reminded.

You shrugged. “I miss Wagner, he probably would have been over here immediately.”

He snorted. “Okay, we both made mistakes, but you’re right.”

With his agreement to move on, you climbed onto his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Please?”

“I’m not completely convinced yet,” he teased.

Rolling your eyes, you kissed him. “Now?”

“You’re getting closer.”

You scoffed and kissed him again, reaching into his sweatpants to pull out his cock. It didn’t take long to get him hard and as soon as you did, you used your other hand to pull your shorts aside. You broke away from the kiss to watch his face as you slowly slid down his length.

His hands gripped your hips and he nodded. “Yeah, you can have whatever you want.”

You smiled. “Perfect, let’s get it now.”

He snorted. “Wow, now you’re a fucking comedian?”

“Well, you’re an author,” you retorted.

He nodded once. “You have a point. I vaguely remember what I wrote, want me to tell you?”

You nodded. You wanted to hear it in his voice, you were going to demand that he read it to you anyway.

“Her first husband was a writer,” he informed.

You lifted your eyebrows. Was that supposed to be clever?

“He often wrote poetry about how devastatingly beautiful he found her.”

You rolled your eyes a little, turning down to stare at his chest. He was wearing a shirt, but you could still see the muscles through the white material. “How did she kill him?”

“Scared him to death, she is very scary.”

You bit your cheek to prevent a smile.

“His fault, though. He was never healthy, did a few drugs he shouldn’t have. Drank too much, never ate right. He had a weak heart anyway.”

You hummed.

He wrapped his arm around your back and rolled you over onto the floor underneath him. He pulled your thighs apart before placing both hands on the floor for balance. Slowly, he pulled out and drove back in hard.

You gasped his name, arms winding tightly around his torso.

“He loves her skin,” he asserted.

You nodded encouragingly, you wanted him to tell you everything. “Mhm.”

“Loves how soft she is, especially her thighs, and he loves how she bruises.” He was steadily rocking his hips, speaking just loud enough that you could hear him over the wet noises of his cock sliding in and out of your body, but quiet enough that you were sure no one else would hear.

You reminded yourself you were downstairs, on the kitchen floor, it was important to remain quiet. Ransom’s family had caught you in a lot of low moments over the years, but this would take the cake. You turned your head, burying your face in the bend of his neck.

“He loves her neck, how perfectly it fits in his hands. He loves her lips, how they look wrapped around him, or when she’s smiling—”

“You wrote that?” you breathed.

“This isn’t some school-book-report shit like what Harlan was publishing.”

“Those weren’t children’s books,” you felt inclined to point out.

“Well, mine have sex.”

You snorted. “You’re going to write about other men fucking me?”

“A woman here and there,” he explained. “That’s why they have to die such horrible deaths.”

You laughed briefly, pressing your mouth to his shoulder when you worried you would moan.

“He loves her legs, how tightly they wrap around him.” As he spoke, he lifted your legs one at a time, pressing them to the sides of his body as a cue to hook your ankles together. “He loves her arms, how easily he can pin them above her head.” Again, he did just that and you were forced to lay flat on the floor, clamping your mouth shut to stifle the noises spilling out.

After managing to get both wrists in one hand, he placed his opposite forearm off to your side and set all his weight there. You could feel it in the way he got heavier against your hips, trapping you between him and the floor, controlling every aspect of how he was going to make you come.

He stared down at your face for a moment, watching you struggle to keep your composure as he was fucking into you harder now. He leaned down and your eyes fell shut, he kissed over both eyelids and said, “He loves her eyes, even when she’s looking up at him, demanding something, a new diamond necklace, a car, but won’t actually say the words because she’s so fucking spoiled.”

You smirked and he felt it, and his hips snapped up harshly to get it to stop. It only worked for a moment. You were smug, Ransom was pouring his heart out to you and confessed that he liked that you were spoiled? You would never let him live this down.

“He loves her cheeks,” he started kissing across your face and you couldn’t help but smile, “Especially when she’s doing that.” He stopped to pay special attention to your nose, “And he loves her nose, even though she hates it. And he loves when she pouts,” he lowered his mouth to give you several chaste pecks, until you were pouting because he wouldn’t just kiss you.

With a scoff, he finally let you kiss him back. It didn’t last long before he was on the move again, pressing his lips to your chin and proclaiming the fictional character’s love of that, then your jaw, your clavicle, and once he tore your bralette out of the way, your breasts.

As he continued to move down, he was sliding his cock out by the inch and you were trying to stop him from getting too far, you were desperately pulling at him with your legs, but Ransom was much stronger than you.

“He loves her stomach,” he muttered into your skin as he descended and finally, his cock slipped out. Because of that, he had to let your wrists go but you knew better than to try to move them.

“Ransom, please—”

“And he loves her hips.” As he pulled down your shorts, he kissed the skin he exposed, almost frantically alternating between left and right. Once the shorts were down, he spread your thighs and looked up at you. “And he fucking loves her pussy.”

You let out a strangled, high-pitched sound as he dove down and wrapped his lips around your clit. He stared at you the entire time as he sucked for a few seconds, then flicked his tongue back and forth, only to repeat the pattern until you were crying and squirming, staying in the position he had placed you in.

When he knew you were close, he pulled back. He only set small kisses to your aching center, hands moving up and down your hips, your stomach, your thighs. “He loves how sweet it tastes, he loves how fucking tight it is, how it feels like his cock was made to be inside it—”

“Ransom, please,” you blurted out. Your arms were stinging with the desire to reach down for him, but you knew that would change the path of this entire night. You just needed to be fucked. Simply. Intimately. None of the elaborate shit you both usually tried.

In seconds, he had made his way over you and was inside you again. You wrapped yourself around him, arms and legs, and held onto him tight enough that you were sure he wouldn’t be able to get away again.

“He loves every fucking inch of her,” he stated. “Because she’s his, she belongs to him and she’s never going to belong to anyone else.”

You scoffed. “But she kills him?”

“Well, she’s a complex woman.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not complex.”

He arched an eyebrow.

“I just want you and this house, and I want all of this shit to be over so we can get rid of your family.”

He kissed you shortly. “That makes two of us, baby.”

There was a difference between loving something about someone and truly being in love with someone. You’d always loved things about Ransom, but it took you about a solid year to confidently admit that you were in love with him. He could say that he loved everything about you, but that was not him finally saying it.

“Does she love him?” you wondered.

He shrugged a shoulder. “He thinks so.”

“Does he love her?” This wasn’t asking for too much. Ransom could hide behind this fictional creation of his and say yes, and you would never ask again. You just wanted to hear it once, that wasn’t unfair.

He considered his answer for a long time, breaking eye contact to look down at where his fingers were hovering over your shoulder. He began to trace shapes there, still contemplating. “Sometimes…she thinks so.”

“But does he?” you pressed.

Again, more silence. He was trying to gauge what he could get away with. He always knew this was going to wear on you eventually, but he never thought it was going to be during one of the times he was inside you. How could you not feel how he felt about you? “I think—”

“Are you fucking serious!?”

You immediately knew whose voice that was—Linda. Shutting your eyes, you let your head rest back on the floor. The headache you had been crying over earlier was returning.

“RICHARD!” She turned out of the kitchen and began storming back to her room. “Richard, wake up! You need to talk to your son! Is there no place in this house anymore that is sacred?!”

Ransom sighed deeply and you looked up at him. “Well, do you want to make you come first before we go upstairs?”

You shrugged. “Okay. Hurry up, we don’t have to be quiet anymore.”

November: thanksgiving,

Ransom was on his best behavior, you theorized that was because he didn’t want you to again ask him for more of that insane basic human emotion. Whatever, you could not dwell. There were people dying in this world, and you wanted to waste time crying over your boyfriend who gave you everything you wanted, but just wouldn’t say a certain word to you?

Well, the answer was yes, but it was Thanksgiving and the Thrombeys had about a million and one weird-ass family traditions. That meant you were short on time to be pouting.

It was a freezing, perfect day. It had snowed all night and the house looked like something straight out of a Hallmark movie. Yes, this was going to be a complicated day with a lot of personalities that were butting heads because everyone had been together for way too long, but you were feeling festive. You wanted to make the best of the day and you planned to force the rest of the family to follow your lead.

The start of the traditions was donating money. You were the one who brought it up as soon as Richard tried to skip down the list. It always started with donating. Harlan would write checks for half a million dollars and let every member choose where they wanted to donate, the past three years you were included in that. Harlan always liked you, probably more than he liked some of his actual family.

“I’m just not sure,” Donna was saying, “We haven’t made much money this year.”

“Are you kidding?” Meg demanded. “Your husband’s publishing company is still seeing sale increases.”

“Because of the death of the author,” Linda pointed out. “Meaning, we should be a lot more frugal. The money will not be coming in the same way that it was.”

“This is not up for debate,” you snapped. “Everyone pick a god damn charity. Harlan insisted on this every single year, and we are going to continue it. Unless you all would like to provoke his ghost to come murder us. He died in this house after all!”

“It’s money,” Ransom pointed out. “We have more than enough, some people don’t have any.”

Linda rolled her eyes. “My son is just trying to get you to have sex with him.”

You glared.

“Mother,” Ransom sighed. “This isn’t a discussion. Just pick your damn charity.”

“Donna, it’s fine,” Walt promised. “Meg’s right, we’ve had a great year. And Y/N is right, Dad always wanted us to do this. I will start with my usual charity, Homes for Our Troops.”

“Fantastic.” You took the check as soon as he handed it over. “Donna?”

“American Cancer Society, of course.” She held it out for you and then looked to Jacob. “I think this year—”

“I have a charity picked,” Jacob informed.

Everyone fell silent. Likely, everyone’s immediate suspicion was Trump’s request for donations since he was still insisting the election was fraudulent. However, no one said anything because no one wanted to be the first victim of Jacob’s impending murder spree.

“Can’t I pick my own?” he pressed.

“Yes,” you answered. “You can, because everyone can pick their own charity.”

“Yeah,” Walt echoed. “Of course.”

He wrote the name down and slid the check across the table to you.

Ransom’s hand tightened on your thigh, a reminder not to let anyone antagonize you this holiday.

“Canines for Disabled Kids,” you read. “Jacob, that’s really great…I didn’t even know that was a charity.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, well, I like the idea that they can have dogs as friends and don’t have to make human friends. Humans are so stupid.” Then he returned all his attention to his phone.

“And we’re back,” Richard muttered.

Donna’s head snapped in his direction.

“Okay,” you interjected. “Joni?”

She chose a foundation interested in ending childhood obesity, received a snide comment from Meg about how even her acts of kindness were vain, and you intervened before it became bigger than that. Meg chose an organization that works to stop childhood prostitution, Linda went for homeless youth, and Richard selected Make-A-Wish Foundation. Walt felt the need to sarcastically commend him for his originality.

“Enough,” you said before Richard could respond. “My dearest Ransom, what have you chosen?”

He smiled at you. “Animal Legal Defense Fund. Their tagline is: all our clients are innocent.”

You nodded. “They are. All animals are innocent.”

Linda rolled her eyes. “Can we move on?”

“Okay, mine is—”

“I can’t believe you don’t have a problem that she’s basically brainwashing our son,” Linda interrupted, turning to Richard.

“Linda, please,” Richard sighed.

“My charity,” you spoke loudly, gaining their attention once more, “Is Planned Parenthood.”

“Are you out of your mind?” she demanded. “You want to donate your money to abortions?”

You glared. “That’s not all Planned Parenthood does, but…yes, I do. Babies suck, if a woman doesn’t want to have it, she doesn’t have to.”

Joni nodded. “I agree, completely. I’ve been learning in my group about how we are only placed on this earth to offer up our vibrations to one another. Our obligations do not exceed that. We don’t have to be anything! Not a mother, not a wife—”

“Oh, shut up!” Linda barked.

“Mother, calm down,” Ransom dismissed. “I don’t believe for a second any of you have not either had an abortion or been an accessory to one in the past.”

“I would never!” she gasped, pointing a finger at him. “And you better not ever let her!”

“Yeah, don’t worry about that happening. I’ve been thinking about eliminating that possibility, surgically—”

Linda’s mouth dropped.

This was, of course, untrue. Ransom would, first, never sacrifice any part of himself for that reason. Second, the matter had not been discussed yet. You guys weren’t even thinking about marriage, so of course, children weren’t being brought up. But that morning, Ransom woke up in the mood for chaos, and maybe you sort of did, too.

“I wanted a second child,” she told Richard, “You said to stop after Ransom because he was “perfect”.”

“I did say that,” he muttered to himself, a look of pure regret on his face.

You smiled at Ransom. “You are perfect.”

He kissed you, gaining disapproving noises from most of the table.

“I will never be a grandmother!” Linda yelled, burying her hands in her hair and resting her shoulders on the table.

You glanced at Ransom.

He nodded toward the kitchen. “Now that that’s done, let’s start cooking.”

Joni and Meg were currently searching the entire house for the Christmas decorations. They always ended up getting put in the strangest places and since you and Ransom had moved in and not known where they were, you moved basically everything. It was possible that you were going to have to make do with the decorations you and Ransom had been using for the past five years at his house.

You had, however, purchased a lot of lights because the Thrombeys loved their blue lights. Tacky, you wanted the yellow lights and made sure to buy enough that even a single blue light needed to be on that house. Ransom was excitedly awaiting his mother’s reaction to that.

Every year, Richard and Walt would put lights on the house while the dinner was cooking. Ransom should have helped but no one actually thought Ransom would lift a finger, so no one wasted their breath. He was only helping you cook because, as mentioned, he was pretending to be a good boyfriend.

But he was a monster, a true monster that was currently squashing even more of your dreams. “The answer isn’t just no, it’s fuck no.”

You glared. “I wasn’t asking for permission.”

“You asked if it was a good idea.”

“I think it is.”

“Then why did you ask me at all?”

“Because I thought you would be nice for a second, just a second, Ransom. I’m not asking for a lot.”

“We are not getting Jacob a dog.”

“Why not?”

“Because I hate dogs.”

“Well, I hate you,” you hissed.

He rolled his eyes. “Enough of the dramatics. This day is tiring enough already—”

“We’ll get him a small one, it doesn’t need to be those huge horses your mother calls dogs. A chihuahua, maybe. A Pomeranian, a dachshund—”

“Absolutely not, we already have Joni here, I don’t want some yappy animal—”

“Ransom!” you whined. “If we get him a dog, he might not become a serial killer.”

“He already is a serial killer, love, these are just the early years when he’s finding himself. The answer is still no.”

“Ugh, fine, can you just make the pie crusts, please?”

“How many?”

“Three.”

“Three? For what?”

“Pumpkin, apple, pecan, Ransom. The same things your family has served every single year I’ve been here, and presumably, all the ones before that.”

“Ugh.” He stood at the counter reading the recipe, muttering his disapproval, up until he saw the ingredients on the counter. “What is all of this?”

“Um, you know that recipe in your hand? The final product doesn’t just appear.”

“No, what is all of this…gluten-free flour, oat flour? Where’s the normal flour?”

“That is normal flour, Ransom.”

“No,” he argued. “No, it’s not.”

“It’s normal to some people,” you countered. “And this year, it’s normal to us. Joni went out and bought the groceries. If you wanted something, you could have done it yourself.”

“You wouldn’t let me leave the house! You kept saying I was going to get sick and die.”

“You could have ordered them!”

“You can’t be serious. On top of this dreadful year, you’re trying to make us eat healthy food on Thanksgiving?”

“Ransom, make the pie crusts!”

It was silent for several minutes, probably because you were using the mixer to make the pumpkin filling. As soon as it was off, Ransom was acting like you’d asked him to perform surgery.

“What does toss mean?”

“What?”

“It says to toss the ingredients.”

“Um, like, stir, I guess.”

“You guess or you know?”

“Just fucking stir, Ransom. I make pies all the time.”

He huffed. “No, oh, no. No, this is telling me to touch things with my hands, that’s disgusting and I’m not doing that.”

You turned back, eyes wide. “Ransom!”

“I’m not touching butter with my hands!”

“What is wrong with you!? It’s cooking, you have to use your hands to cook!”

“I don’t like touching butter!”

“How would you know? You’ve never cooked a day in your life!”

“I’m not touching it,” he claimed.

You took a slow breath in and released it while counting to ten. “Then switch with me and make the apple pie filling.”

“Great.” He walked to your counter as you walked to his. “What is this? What’s in this bowl?”

“The pumpkin pie filling. Cover it and put it in the refrigerator. That’s where the apples are.”

His next question came after he pulled out the bag of apples. “These?”

You turned back, blinking. “Yes, Ransom, those are apples.”

“I have to cut them?”

“And peel them.”

“That’s going to take forever.”

“Ransom, I’m about to smack you.”

“This is a lot!” he pointed out. “Why are we the only people cooking?”

“We’re not, not anymore,” you decided. “Get out, you can go help your father and Walt with the Christmas lights.”

“And you’re going to cook alone?”

“I basically already am.” You turned around to walk to the sink to wash your hands. Unlike Ransom, you weren’t making one pie crust at a time, and you would only need to do this once. When you turned around, you knew Ransom was behind you, but you had no idea what he was doing.

You only saw how close he was when you felt something wet and cold against the side of your face. Whatever it was, he dragged it all the way to the opposite cheek. You smelled and tasted the frosting that you had made for the sugar cookies.

He peeled the frosted star-shaped cookie off your skin and ate one of the corners. “Your blood-sugar seemed low, I thought I’d help.”

You tore the cookie out of his hand and shoved it directly in his face.

He scattered back, eyes wide in shock—as if he expected anything less? “What is wrong with you?!”

You grabbed the retractable faucet from the sink and turned the water on.

“Do not!”

It was a warning you ignored. Within seconds, he was slipping along the kitchen floor, rushing back to you to get the faucet out of your hands. As soon as he had it, he turned it on you, and you screamed like a cat about to be thrown in a bathtub.

“Stop it!” you ordered. “You are ruining Thanksgiving!”

“You’re ruining it!”

You elbowed him hard enough that he dropped the faucet, then kicked your heels off to run to the counter with the cookies and frosting.

“Don’t you dare!” He rushed after you and wrestled the cookie out of your hand, ultimately crushing it into crumbs that scattered all over the counter and the floor.

You shoved your opposite hand into one of the bowls of frosting, whipping around to place your hand on his face.

“What the fuck?!” But he leaned down, clearly uninterested in an answer, and pressed his face into your hair.

“My hair?!” you shrieked. “I’m going to kill you!”

There were several sets of steps that you both heard, but neither of you wanted to let the other get the upper hand. When the family finally found you, you had slipped, ended up on your ass, and Ransom was holding you down, claiming that you caused too many problems when you were on your feet.

“What the hell is going on?!” Joni questioned.

“Ransom, get off of her!” Meg pushed her way between the two of you, pulling you onto your feet. “Oh, my god, what is going on? Are you okay?”

Well, you were both soaking wet, layered in frosting, furiously trying to get another cookie to throw at the other. Were you okay? Only physically. Mentally, you weren’t sure either one of you was ever on solid ground there.

“Enough!” Linda yelled. “What is this insanity!? We need to be eating in less than an hour and as per usual, you two can’t go five minutes without fighting! That’s it, everyone get out of this kitchen! This is why I cook, this is why I do everything! I’m the only one that can!”

She turned away to open the door to usher everyone out and you took your chance to get some type of retaliation that you had been longing for since before the damn stay-at-home order.

You were able to reach for a cookie before either Meg or Ransom could stop you, and no one had ever dreamed your target would be Linda, so for a detrimental moment, their reactions were nonexistent. Essentially, everyone could only stare in pure horror as they realized the cookie was darting straight for the back of Linda’s head. Which, in your defense, wasn’t your exact intention. You thought her back, not her head…but well, there was a reason you weren’t a professional athlete.

Gasps filled the room as soon as the cookie contacted Linda’s head, then again when it fell to the floor. Linda slowly turned, eyes wide, jaw set, shoulders tense—that must be where Ransom got it.

“This is my house,” you reminded. “You do not get to order me out of my kitchen!”

She looked at Ransom, silently urging him to make his alliance known right then. Before he had to say anything, yelling sounded from outside the house. Walt and Richard had yet to finish the one job they had, everyone figured that was the cause of the disturbance.

Quickly, you all made your way out to the front of the house. Richard had his leg wrapped up in a mess of lights and was hanging from the edge of the house. The same vines of lights were also wound around Walt, who was hanging onto the house for dear life.

“Oh, my god!” Donna yelled. “Oh, my god!”

“Are you serious?” Linda demanded. “There is a pandemic! You guys seriously want to end up in the god damn hospital during a pandemic?”

Joni sighed in utter frustration. “Walt, just hang on. We’ll get Richard down—”

“Oh, my god!” Donna continued, despite the lack of panic coming from literally every other single person present. Even Walt seemed less alarmed than her. She started running to Richard and on any other day, it would have been an effortless plan of action. On this day, that Massachusetts had just seen a hell of a lot of snow, when the pavement was dangerously icy, she fell.

Meg screamed. “Oh, my god, I’m calling Dr. Fields!”

“He’s a doctor!” Joni pointed out. “A physical doctor—he won’t know how to deal with this sheer stupidity unless someone broke a bone!”

Donna, now over her initial shock, was attempting to get up.

“Donna, I think you’re hurt,” Meg said. “Just stay—”

Jacob was cautiously moving closer to her, directing her to stay put when Walt had finally lost his battle with the house. His hands slipped off and he went sliding down the edge of the roof. Richard hit the floor first, eliciting more screams from Meg and Donna, and then Walt followed onto several snow-covered bushes, and everyone lost their minds.

“I’m calling Dr. Fields! I am fucking calling Dr. Fields right now!” Meg repeated, shaking so much she could hardly get the phone out of her pocket, let alone find which one she had placed it in.

Joni began making her way through the snow to check if Richard was okay.”

“Oh, my god!” Donna was still repeating.

“Mom, just stay down,” Jacob said.

“Jesus,” Ransom snapped. “How hard is it to put these god damn lights on this god damn house?” He was following Joni, confident in the theory that his father was simply being dramatic. Walt, on the other hand, might have needed medical attention.

Meg watched her feet as she was walking back inside. “Dr. Fields, we have a serious emergency right now. I think everyone’s dying!”

Ransom and Joni were helping Richard sit up when he turned back to you. “Hey, get inside, you’re wet and going to get sick.”

He had a point, so without argument, you turned to do so. You felt the boniest of hands on your shoulders before you were shoved down face-first into the snow.

That was when Joni started screaming. “Oh, my god, call the police! She’s going to kill her. Meg, call the police!”

Meg ran out of the house and saw what was happening and once again, started to panic. “Dr. Fields, you need to get here immediately!”

Before you even fully processed what had happened, Linda was on top of you turning you onto your back.

“You stole my house!” she screeched.

“Linda!” Richard scolded.

You saw her hands go for your throat—later, everyone would claim she was probably doing something else, she obviously wasn’t going to choke you. You did the only thing you could think to do, you grabbed a handful of snow and shoved it in her face.

She toppled over and you made your way on top of her. You weren’t going to hit your boyfriend’s mother, but you did proceed to throw snow in her face until Ransom had gotten you off her.

The grand total of injuries was seven. Yet, the total of injuries that had occurred directly in the incident was five. Donna had a bruised tailbone, Richard had a broken leg, Walt had a sprained wrist, your knee was cut up fairly terribly since you fell on it when Linda pushed you, and Linda had stitches on her cheek because the first time you threw snow at her, there was a huge block of ice that you weren’t aware of. After Richard pointed out that you hadn’t started the altercation, she punched him, and he now had a swollen eye. After Ransom had gotten you inside, Meg, in her state of panic, hadn’t seen the door was shut and walked straight into it, and her nose was broken.

You weren’t sure how this family had managed more disaster with nearly 300 fewer people, but there you were. Ransom had forced you into the shower to get all the frosting out of your hair and to hopefully prevent the cold he suspected you were going to catch given the tiny outfit you were parading around in outside.

He lured you out of the shower with a mug of hot chocolate. Every space heater in the house was gathered in your bedroom and as soon as you were in his reach, Ransom wrapped you up in at least three heavy blankets.

When he sat you down on the bed, he pulled your leg out so he could tend to your knee. You felt like a child with him sat next to you with a first aid kit, too-delicately prodding at your irritated, aching skin. He was babying you.

You didn’t feel guilty for what you had done to Linda, but you did hate that Ransom was in the middle. “I’m s—”

He held his hand up to you. “Don’t.”

“But—”

He turned up to you. “Babe, she attacked you.”

“I…threw a cookie at her.”

He snorted. “Yeah, that was a little crazy.”

“I am sorry,” you huffed. “We said we weren’t going to let them bother us today.”

“You finally told her this was your house. I’ve wanted that since we first moved in. I know what we said, but all in all, I think we gained more than we lost.”

“What did we gain, Ransom?”

“Well, she knows you’re scrappy so she might think twice before pushing you again.”

You rolled your eyes. “Anything else?”

“Everyone is going to be preoccupied taking care of each other, Joni doting on Meg, my mom basically doing everything for my dad, Walt and Donna being overly protective of one another…”

“So, we can have sex in the kitchen and there’s a higher chance we won’t get caught?”

“That was exactly what I was thinking.”

You shrugged. “If we got Jacob a dog—”

“You know what?” he cut in. “Get out of these blankets, I haven’t spanked you in a long time even though you’ve deserved it about five times over by now.”

He made a show of attempting to get you out of the blankets even though you both knew he wouldn’t do it. You laughed the entire time until Ransom laid himself out on top of you, uncaring about how heavy he was.

“Is everyone okay?”

“They’ll live.”

“Well, I know Meg will—she’s going to get a nose job.”

He snorted, rolling his eyes. “You are just going to have to live vicariously through her.”

“We kinda ruined Thanksgiving dinner.”

“I did not,” he argued. “The turkey is almost done, the pies are in the other oven, also almost done—”

“All three?”

He nodded. “Yep. Jacob, believe it or not, was happy to peel and cut the apples.”

You rolled your eyes. “I swear, Ransom.”

“As soon as everyone stops acting like they’re dying, we’ll be able to sit down…well, Donna might not be able to sit down.”

You laughed. “Your family is insane.”

“And clearly, you fit right in.”

“Clearly,” you muttered. Unfortunately.

Christmas Eve:

Sometimes, you wished that you had listened to him when he said this wasn’t happening. Because then you wouldn’t have needed to worry about so many god damn people! It would just be you and Ransom in absolute seclusion, but no. No, you would never have it so easy during this fucking holiday.

How difficult was it to pick up the presents that you had ordered? You picked them out, you organized it all, you had only asked Ransom to drive to a single location and obtain them for you. Why hadn’t he? Because he was sleeping at 2 in the afternoon.

What did you have for Jacob? Not a damn thing. You had no presents for the teenage delinquent you were terrified of. You weren’t family, he was going to store you away in the basement and torture you until he got bored. Ransom probably wouldn’t even realize you had been missing until Jacob placed your body parts all over the house. And three of Meg’s presents were also missing, you knew Linda was going to make another comment.

You would hit her with more ice. After you strangled her son, of course, who was currently hot helping in any way at all.

“Ransom, put your fucking drink down and hand me the tape!”

“Are your fucking hands broken?!”

“I’m holding the box!”

He slammed his drink down on the bedside table and angrily stormed his way to where you were surrounded by boxes, wrapping paper, and a million other things he wasn’t even aware you’d spent money on. This was too much for his family and he was just waiting for you to realize that they were nowhere near worth the effort you constantly put in.

Ransom picked up the tape, tore a piece off, and placed it between where your fingers were resting on the box.

“Thank you so much,” you responded, pure sarcasm.

And god damn, he had had enough of your fucking tone. “You are driving me insane!”

“I’m driving you insane?! Your family has been ruing my whole fucking life since March!”

“I didn’t want them here!”

“Well, I’m a human with actual empathy for others, so I logically knew that that was not an option!”

“You were going to leave my mother out of your precious sanctuary!”

“Because she’s abusive!” You shoved your hands into your hair and shook your head. “I’m done, absolutely done. I can’t have this conversation with you again. Your mother sucks, why is this news to you? I’m so sorry for trying to hold her accountable for her actions. Oh, but of course, every time someone tries to make any of you face the consequences for your actions, you act like it’s a hate crime!”

He glared. “I hate you.”

“I hate you!” you seethed.

“I can’t fucking believe I actually want to do this!” he turned away, scrubbing one of his hands down his face. “You make me so fucking crazy.”

“Do what?” you demanded. “What the hell are you talking about now? What god-awful thing have you decided to do?”

He made his way to the bed, tearing open the drawer to the bedside table on his side. He was muttering quickly under his breath and even if his speech hadn’t been so hurried, it was quiet enough that you had no chance of hearing anything.

It was silent for several moments before he turned back to you and threw something on the bed. He gestured to it then crossed his arms over his chest.

Since your bed was a mess of dark blankets, you weren’t sure what you were supposed to be seeing. You stood, carefully stepping your way out of the present-wrapping station you had created and neared the bed. You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw a tiny black box against the mattress.

You looked back at him, eyes wide, pleading. No…no, that was not happening. He wasn’t actually…

“Marry me.”

“What?!”

He actually seemed surprised by your reaction. He leaned over, snatched the box off the bed, and stomped back to you. “Marry me.”

“You’ve lost it,” you accused. “You’re actually literally insane. You need to be committed!”

“Yes, it’s insane that I want to marry you but for some fucking reason, I do!”

“Oh, my god, Ransom!” You slapped the box out of his hands and that was just too much for him. “I’m not fucking marrying you, you’ve never even told me you love me!”

He hurriedly picked up the box, tossed it back onto the bed, and then grabbed you by your arms. “You’re seriously fucking bringing that up now?”

“What does that even mean?! Yes, I’m bringing it up now. You marry someone when you’re in love with them and since you haven’t said it after seven years, I understandably doubt your feelings for me.”

“You are such a fucking brat.”

“You’re a brat!” you yelled, more exasperated than you’d ever felt. “You’re such a fucking entitled brat! There’s no other way to describe you. You just think I’m going to say yes and give you everything you want when you can’t even say you love me!”

“This is absolutely fucking ridiculous.”

“Just fucking say it, Ransom! If you love me, just say it!”

“You will not bully me into saying something that I don’t even deem as important.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Love is a word! Okay? It means nothing. My parents fucking say they love each other, then my dad fucked someone else. Neal and Joni said they loved each other every god damn second that they could but guess what. He still died. And don’t even get me started on Walt and Donna, their “love” created the next great serial killer of this wonderful fucking country!”

You were speechless, Ransom never talked to you like this. He never brought up the fucked-up aspects of his family that had consequently fucked him up as well.

He finally let you go when he realized you weren’t going to say anything, turning to walk away. You startled when he banged his hand against the wall. “God damn it!”

“Why do you make me say it to you then?” you demanded.

“I don’t know!” he admitted.

Again, you were both silent. You were thinking of the best way to respond, and you certainly couldn’t come up with that, but you knew what you wanted to say. “I’m not marrying you.”

He laughed.

It was a terrifying sound that gave you chills. He was going to kill you, you were 90% sure. As soon as he started walking toward you, you turned away to run to the bathroom, but Ransom had always known that would be your plan.

He effortlessly caught you and dragged you back to the bed. He shoved you down, pinned your arms to the mattress to stop you from hitting him, and slid his hips between your legs to make it impossible to kick him. “You’re going to marry me.”

“You’re going to force me to marry you?”

“I’ll drag you to the fucking courthouse if I have to.”

“The courthouse?!”

“I want to give you a wedding, the obscenely priced, overly dramatic show that I know you want. But if you won’t say yes, you leave me no other option.”

You rolled your eyes. “Then I guess that’s what you’ll have to do because my answer is no.”

Luckily for him, your outfit was not overly complex. He knew you weren’t wearing anything under your skirt because his hand was between your legs for most of dinner that night. You didn’t let him make you come because you were throwing a temper tantrum over the situation with the presents, but he was evidently not deterred.

After he moved your wrists together and kept you held there, he used his free hand to get his pants out of the way. In seconds, he was fully inside you and was offering you no time to adjust.

You realized why when you felt his hands moving over your head. Turning up that way, you saw him fumbling with the box. He was going to put the ring on your finger, and you had the sinking suspicion you might not be able to part with it if you saw it. But no, this was not happening.

You managed to get one of your hands free and yanked on his hair.

He kissed you because he had nothing left to do but bite your lip. Hard. He didn’t even falter when you cried out.

He was the idiot who let you keep your shoes on and you were limited on where you could get your heel. You did yoga, but you weren’t some contortionist. You had one option, and that was stabbing your heel into the side of his ass, and it was completely his own fault.

Finally, he pulled away and was forced to let you on top, which was the only advantage you needed. You smacked the box off the bed. However, now that he wasn’t overly concerned with holding you to the bed, he could pull your hair until you relented and fell back onto the bed.

He rolled over several times until you were both on the very edge, managing to kick your heels off in the process. He never stopped driving his hips into you, knowing that the only advantage he had was how weak you always got for his cock.

You could hear him reaching around blindly on the floor but with each brush of his skin against your clit, you got less scared about the idea that he would get the ring on you. You knew you didn’t want it. You knew you didn’t want to marry him and there was no way in hell you would willingly say yes, but fuck, you wanted to come.

You touched the side of his face and he finally looked back at you.

“Say yes.”

“Fuck you.” You pulled him down, your lips meeting his. There was blood in the kiss and your lip was throbbing, but you couldn’t care. Not when he was fucking you this violently, this angrily. He’d never fucked you like this before. You were no stranger to Ransom being a cruel lover, but there had never been so much pure wrath.

He had located the box, you could tell when his fingernails stopped clicking against the hardwood floor. You were panicking, not fully thinking through your plans, you just knew you needed to be able to reach the box. You threw all your weight at him and he was barely balanced as it was.

Despite his anger, he still had more of a mind than you—probably because he wanted something out of this, he needed to be mindful to get his way. He basically let you throw him on the floor because he worried about the results if he managed to fall on you.

Instead of retaliating any further, you grabbed his hand and brought it down to your center. He needed no further prompt than that, his thumb began to circle your clit as his other hand grabbed your hip and moved you along the length of his cock.

Where was the box? On his chest, he set this there because he was the cockiest fucking asshole in the world. He saw you eyeing it and smirked. “Go ahead, baby, take it, but you know I’ll fucking stop.”

That was unimaginable. Both hands reached for the one he had on your hip. You continued rolling your hips like it was the last time you were ever going to get to, dragging his hand up to your mouth.

“I swear if you fucking bite me,” he warned.

No, you weren’t going to do that. Yet. You choked yourself on his fingers, stifling all the pathetic sounds that were spilling out from you. Ransom simply enjoyed the show, enjoyed you fucking yourself on his cock, enjoyed you staring at him with those smoky, delicate eyes as you sucked on his fingers.

He stopped touching your clit once he felt you coming. He used that hand to hold you up on your knees and thrust his hips into you punishingly. You were dizzy, disastrously satiated and overstimulated. He finished with a shaking moan, a tell that he was trying to be quiet.

It wasn’t late, the family was undoubtedly aware of what was going on.

He turned down, staring at the place you were still connected. Ransom waited until his cum was spilling out of you and then yanked you back down to take his entire length. If there was anything that Ransom did love in this world it was filling you with his cum and watching it slowly pour out.

You only allowed him to do this several times before you finally bit down on his fingers. His hand lifted from your hip and tore your hair back hard enough that you opened your mouth to yell at him. When he could pull his fingers from your mouth, he wrapped that hand around your neck and pulled you flat down, your chest to his, the ring box trapped between you and him, digging painfully into your ribs.

He slammed you into the wall and you brought your legs up to hook around his waist. “Sorry, daddy, I didn’t mean to bite you.”

“After I get this ring on you, I’m gonna make you call your parents and tell them we’re engaged. And I’m gonna fuck you and make you call me daddy, just to remind your father how much of a daddy’s girl you used to be.”

“Why call when you could Facetime?”

“Then I’m gonna have you choking on my cock, baby, all they need to see is the ring on your finger.” The hand in your hair wedged its way between you and him and he located your clit once more.

It was too much but you knew Ransom wasn’t going to care. Begging him to stop would just provide him enjoyment and that was the last thing you wanted him to have. He kept his other hand around your neck because he knew you would say something that would annoy the fuck out of him if he let you.

When you were coming, his hips were moving once more and his hand abandoned your clit to move the box. You felt it sliding along your skin until it was gone and then you realized he wasn’t holding your neck anymore. He had your left hand held clutched in his and you felt the cold band he was sliding onto your finger.

You couldn’t do much, you had lost and you knew it. But you could leave a few more marks on him, so you latched your free hand onto his shoulder and dragged your nails down his back, and you bit down on his shoulder harder than you probably should have. He was a fucking animal, it seemed like he didn’t care at all. He just wanted to get the ring on you, and once he had, he grabbed your face and shoved you back.

You knew he was trying to get you to look at the ring, but you refused. Your eyes were slammed shut and nothing was going to change that.

He walked you to the bathroom, pulling out to bend you over the counter because he knew you would instinctually lift both hands up to the edge. Once you had, he shoved his cock back inside you and grabbed your jaw to angle your face in the direction of your left hand. “Look at it.”

“Fuck. You!” you growled.

He smacked your ass and even though you shrieked like he was murdering you, you did not open your eyes. He repeated this several times until his own hand was stinging almost unbearably. New plan.

He used his feet to kick your legs apart further and you felt a sharp, sudden slap against your cunt. Your eyes snapped open and a scream tore from your throat. He almost felt bad until he saw your attention on the ring. Was he an ass? Yes. But had he won? Also, yes.

That fucking asshole. His hand dropped to rub over your aching pussy, cock still moving at a painfully fast pace. Ransom was fucking furious and the only way he could take it out on you was by fucking you this way.

You couldn’t say you had any complaints about it. Tomorrow, when you were pretending you couldn’t stand to look at him, you would be bruised and sore everywhere that he had touched you. You would be wet all day thinking about how it happened.

The fucking ring. A huge cushion-cut diamond set in a halo on top of a diamond-encrusted band. It wasn’t simple, it sounded like it, but there was something so beautiful about it. Fuck, you wouldn’t let this ring go unless you were dead. Because he was right. You liked money and diamonds and you were materialistic, and this was from Ransom and you loved everything he gave you. And at the end of it all, even though you were saying no to him, he shoved that ring onto your finger because you were his and that was never going to change.

“Say yes.”

“No.”

“Fine.” He reached for your hand but stopped when he saw you make a fist.

“Try to take this ring from me and I will fucking kill you, Ransom.”

He scoffed. “Great, I’m gonna get my phone to Facetime your parents.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fuck you.”

“Not yet,” he pointed out. “First, I need to fuck your mouth, but then—”

From outside, the dogs started to bark.

You let your head fall onto the counter and groaned. “I fucking swear, every fucking time we’re fucking—”

He pulled out and rushed from the bathroom.

“Hey!” you called out. “What the hell?”

“Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered to himself as he searched for where he’d thrown his pants. When had he even gotten them off?

“Ransom?”

“Wait there,” he directed and then he dashed out of the room.

“Excuse you!” It wasn’t like you had much of an option, your legs weren’t working yet, and you were sweating and gross, and bruised and your lip was swollen and clearly bitten.

After several moments, he hadn’t come back. What the hell was he up to? You winced and hummed, made any noise that made you feel slightly better, as you tiptoed around the room looking for something to put on. You settled on one of his shirts and slowly, pathetically made your way downstairs. “Ransom?”

No response.

“Hello, anyone?” If someone else was around, you could force them to look for your boyfriend instead of having to do so yourself. But it seemed that you were out of luck on that.

The dogs were still barking like crazy, but why was no one else reacting? And why did Ransom care? He never paid attention to the dogs. You followed the sound of their barking, they had moved from the backyard to the side of the house. Which was odd because they never went there.

The garage? Your suspicions were confirmed when you heard Linda complaining about something, being constantly interrupted by Joni, Walt, and Ransom. Okay, again, unusual. He tended to ignore his mother, not argue with her.

His eyes widened when he saw you in the doorway. “No, no, this has to stop. I need everyone out of this room.”

“What the hell is going on?” you questioned.

“We don’t want to alarm you,” Donna began, “But—”

“Pretty sure he has drugs,” Meg claimed. “Like, hardcore drugs. Heroin, probably.”

Your eyes widened at him.

He glared. “I don’t have drugs, don’t be ridiculous.”

You gasped, pointing in the direction of the dogs still barking outside. “Those are German Shepherds, they’re drug dogs!”

Meg gasped, nodding at you with wide eyes. “I’m calling the cops.”

“Knock it off,” Linda scolded. “Ransom, show us what you’re hiding right now, or we’ll tear this room apart.”

He rolled his eyes, storming over to the corner of the room where a sheet was laid over something. “Fine, merry fucking Christmas.” He yanked it off one of the old kennels Linda used for her dogs when they were being trained.

There was a long list of things you were suspecting to see. Three sleeping puppies? No, they were nowhere on the list. And then you realized that was why he hadn’t gone to pick up Jacob’s present.

“You got me more puppies?” Linda inquired.

You, along with most of the room, glared at her.

“No,” Ransom snapped. “One is for Jacob and one’s for Meg.”

Both Jacob and Meg excitedly ran to the cage, startling the puppies awake. Much to Ransom’s dismay, the baby talk began without a second thought and the puppies were whining and making those small noises that always irritated him.

One for Jacob. One for Jacob. Then…the third. Oh, god.

He turned to you with a sigh.

“Yes,” you said, “Yes, yes, a million times yes!” You ran across the room, ignoring all your aching limbs and threw yourself into his arms. “And I’ll stop being so mean to you, and if you want to do this at the courthouse, I won’t even be upset because you’re so good to me and I’m awful to you. I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay,” he assured.

“No,” you protested. “It’s a million times not okay! I’m so sorry.” You pulled back to touch his face. “I’m really, really sorry. But I’m going to be the best wife in the world—”

“What?” Joni cut in.

That was the only thing in the world that could have drawn attention away from the puppies.

“Wife?” Linda repeated.

You checked with Ransom and he nodded. He had been looking forward to this. All you had to do was hold out your hand and Joni and Meg were excitedly shrieking. There hadn’t been a wedding in the family in so long.

“Wow,” Walt said. “Ransom? Engaged, showing commitment? This is the strangest year I’ve ever lived.”

Ransom rolled his eyes.

Before another word could be said, Linda collapsed onto the floor. Richard and Walt were the only ones who felt alarmed at the situation, while everyone else moved in closer to see the puppies.

“Which one is ours?” you wondered.

“Yours,” he corrected. “And the blonde one. She was the least yappy I could find on such short notice.”

Your eyebrows pulled together. “Where did you go?”

“The pound, obviously.”

“I fucking love you,” you blurted out, grabbing his face to pull him down into a kiss.

Once again, the room echoed with disgusted sounds.

“Which one’s mine?” Meg wondered.

“I couldn’t care less,” he admitted.

“I’m gonna name mine Hugh,” Jacob announced.

Ransom gave you an expectant look.

“I love you?” you tried.

“Gonna need a lot more than that.” He picked you up and because you knew Ransom wasn’t going to accept any kind of attitude from you for a very long time, you hooked your legs and arms around him and willingly went.

“I’ll take care of your dog until you guys are done being gross!” Meg promised.

chris tags:

@onetwo3000​ @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​ @donutloverxo​ @kleohoneyao3​ @cevans-fics​

ransom tags:

@la-cey​

[blorbosexterminator]

I have been rereading some of your posts and I stumbled upon the unpopular LCDP opinions again, and here I present the thing that has been haunting my mind for a while:

I have been reading many Berlermo fics where Martín is portrayed as almost, if not completely, innocent: it’s all because Andrés left him. Martín is just a sad, small, soft cutie who needs someone to love him, and y’know, do... him, because that is also ALWAYS the case in these kind of fics.

And??? That is not the Martín I saw. Maybe it is (partly) how Martín sees himself after Andrés left, as a poor, innocent victim (because I feel like he does). He is no way a victim, nor is Sergio (completely) responsible for his problems (which is often a topic too). Andrés and Martín are idiots and they should both have gotten their heads out of their arses. They both are responsible. Martín could have said he loved Andrés years ago, no one stopped him... And I get that telling your best friend you love them is A Big Thing, but still... 10 years...

I saw no innocent victim in the show, I saw a cruel, harsh, mentally disturbed man and a terrible person. He is just as terrible, if not worse, as Andrés. I still love him, just like Andrés (and them together is even better), but I would and could never defend his actions or the stuff he says.

Adding on this, I don’t think Martín had ever been the “lover” before, I feel like he always would be the “beloved”. He had others worship him, and when he fell in love with Andrés that changed. He is mostly portrayed as always being the lover, when the topic is discussed in fics.

I even believe this more since I rewatched the scene where he tries to leave the bank: he calls Helsinki a “princess” which is first of all NOT OKAY, which was my first thought upon watching the scene. When I rewatched, I found it an interesting look into Palermo’s perspective: Martín actually sees himself as ‘the man’ (and believe me, I hate that I had to write that, I do NOT support the vision) in the relationship, and he sees Helsinki as a ‘princess’. This further confirmed for me that Martín is not some sweet smol man in need of a hug, but also really not the bottom everyone writes him as. What I saw in the show, was someone who revels in power (and not just the aesthetic, like I feel Berlin does) and being in control. And even if he would have a relationship with Andrés, I feel like Andrés would easier let go of being in control than Martín does, I feel like Andrés much less needs the control the way Martin does.

And I mean, everyone can have their own opinions and write characters the way they want, 100%, I am just surprised that I seem to be one of the few thinking like this of Martín? And I probably am one of the very few to prefer seeing Berlín letting Martín be in control in bed (although I believe they switch).

Anyways that was my ramble, I hope I was somewhat understandable and that this possesses just the slightest bit of eloquence :)

Have a nice day!!!

Hello! I know this is quite late, but I've always wanted to return to this ask, because really everything you say here is a gem and I agree with 100%.

First, yeah, that is very similar to my experience in reading fics as well. Actually, interestingly enough, I read quite a lot of fics early on without having watched the show, only having watched the kiss scene and few other detached flashbacks. It was only when I watched it that I realized how different the way Martín presented himself to me in the show from the dominant view of him.

It really depends. I do agree that Martín victimized himself to a large extent in his relationship with Andrés, but I don't think he saw himself as that much of an innocent; someone who would have never even joined the life of crime if it weren't for Andrés or so.

But yes, Martín is definitely not a victim and I don't think Sergio is responsible for his problems at all to be honest. Andrés did what he thought was the best course of action and that is that. Sergio isn't responsible for a grown man leaving another grown man. Like other than the factor regarding whether he should have told Andrés or not, he chose him, he chose to remain with him one marriage after the other. I do understand, to an extent, why both Martín and Andrés did what they did, but at the end of the day, would it have gone better if Martín had told him years ago? Who knows. Martín probably thought no and remained with him anyway, he's in no way a victim in this, like forgive me, but Andrés doesn't owe Martín anything. Even if we take Martín's words and say he reveled in being adored and worshipped, then it was still Martín who allowed it, it was still Martín who gave him this and asked for nothing in return and never left.

But going back to your words, yes, that is exactly what I saw when I watched the show too. Martín is cruel, ruthless, selfish and guess what? He was still all of those things before Andrés left him and died. It's just he wasn't those things with Andrés, the same way Andrés wasn't his worst parts of himself with him and Sergio. It doesn't mean they "changed" really, it just means they put each other above everything else and in a whole different category than all other people.

Oh yeah, this is one of the things that I headcanon to. Obviously, we don't have any history of Martín other than the parts with Andrés, but if we take his treatment of Helsinki then yeah, I'm willing to bet the same. I think him being the lover with Andrés was definitely the exception not the rule. Def agree with all you said about his relationship with Helsinki, Martín obviously doesn't see himself this way, and like aside from the princess scene, every time we saw them interact (when he flirted with him in front of everyone, when he kicked him out if his bedroom, etc) it seems very well that Martín is the one who is in control there, and is the one dictating exactly what the relationship is and isn't with sharp, even cruel, confidence.

Now the part about control, I agree with you 1000%, like the funny thing is it's not just the way Martín presents himself, it's the way the team sees him. Not only that, it's the main reason Sergio fears and is very wary of working with Martín, and I think that does come from experience, especially if we assume Sergio knew Martín for those ten years as well. I perfectly believe Sergio knows Martín well enough for those words to come from some actual place and not just his headcanons about Martín or something. Like it's very interesting to me as well, that Andrés couldn't even refute. Hell, not even Martín was able to say 'ah, I'm not really like that.' Even more interesting, actually, is the person Andrés likened Martín to after saying 'yes, yes he is obsessed with power and control' is Sergio! Sure, in that moment he was comparing their genius, but I do find it intriguing that he does put them on the same scale considering how a complete fucking freak Sergio is when it comes to being in control of everything. Andrés is outside this category. He enjoys the aesthetics of power, but he's much, much more at ease with letting go of control than either Martín or Sergio are. Martín doesn't just want the look of power, he wants complete power, period! And I do think he revels in it big deal. Lmfao, the show built the entire premise of a whole ass season on that one trait. It's not exactly something you'd need to argue for.

And oh yeah, I agree to an extent. I think when it comes to their specific relationship, things aren't really easily put in categories of who would most likely want more control, cause you know, they are very abnormal people ESPECIALLY with each other. At the end, I sincerely believe both of them regard the other as 100% an equal and wouldn't even want in any way to "control" the other or have more of that control in the relationship, but yeah, I definitely don't agree of the view of Andrés needing this control 24/7 and Martín being his subordinate just letting Andrés control him or whatever lmfao.

Of course, people can have their own interpretations and write what they want! But yeah, I did share that same suprise with you after I watched the show for the first time, mostly because I didn't know where exactly it sprung from? I do have some ideas for that now, but irrelevant really. Oh yeah, bottom!Andrés (or sub!Andrés) isn't very common, if I can tell from the amount of fics that has top!Andrés vs the amount with top!Martín or vers!berlermo. Generally, I do think they switch and all.

You were very understandable and eloquent, have no worries! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, I loved reading them!

Have a great day too!

[beauty-of-depravation]

A Birthday with Loki

Written for @buckyssoldat happy birthday dear !🔥💜

Warnings : smut ! so obviously +18 

Why couldn't you be attracted by the good guys ? Why couldn't you be attracted...by Thor for exemple ! nice guy, extremely good looking, funny and all. But nooooo, you never had any kind of physiological reaction around him, the one who made your heart beat travel to your pussy ? His brother of course !

You were a smart girl and this was your logic : if villain bad, why villain hot, conclusion, badly fuck the vilains, even if it went against everybody's recommandations.

And you've been trying to fuck Loki for ever !

It was your birthday party night, the room was filled with close friend and people you had trouble recognizing. You knew Tony being responsible for a party was a bad idea, he wasn't really good with the concept of "small"...

What made you irritable, was that you were fricking horny, and yesterday you ended things with the guy you've been seeing for the past couple of weeks, you weren't sad because it ended, you were sad because he was a fantastic fuck, but yesterday he has told you that the moon was a conspiracy and it didn't exist, and you thought "I'm not introducing this dude to any one"

It didn't make things better to see Loki charming every woman of the reception, going from one to the other, commenting and finding a clever compliment to apply to every and each one.

What would be an amazing birthday gift would be him fucking you.

I mean you loved the emerald hair pin he slipped on your hair before the party, but his hands on the back on you neck had left you craving more contact.

— here is the queen of the party ! The most beautiful woman here ! My dear, can i tell you that even the expression of dissatisfaction on your face looks like the most captivating art work.

— Always charming, you say rolling your orbs.

— of course dear, he say setting by your side

— Don't you have someone else to talk to ?

— i don't find anyone else then you worthy of my words in this party dear.

You don't reply. You secretly enjoy the company of the man. And quite rapidly, you are talking about everything you like, litterature and art.

— surprisingly, you have some good things to say for a human.

— Is that a compliment ?

— of course !

Your pout your mouth, and immediately notice that his eyes follow the movement, and stay focused on your carmine colored lips. You don't say anything, until he bring his gaze back up to find you looking up at him. You keep looking in each other eyes for quite a time, but then to internally moved by it, you look a way, and you can see that he likes that you couldn't hold it.

After a little while, his voice raises again.

— so ...what happened to that...misery of a being your were seeing ?

You roll your eyes for the sake of it, but chuckle lightly.

— we went each his own way. We weren't a match, he was nice but..

— he was stupid.

— no,he

— don't lie to me, I've seen dead fish with eyes expressing more depth then his.

— okey...okey he wasn't a genius. But he was nice, and cute and

— you deserve better, and it's me telling you that. I rarely think that highly of anyone.

— oh god, you say rolling your eyes at his never ending comments on humans.

— i love when you call me that, and you are so cute when you roll your eyes. But I'm serious you are worth more.

— maybe, but for now I'm worth my vibrator.

Fuck. How did that slip out ? You feel yourself blush furiously. And you realize that Loki has turned his head towards you at an abnormal speed. His eyes a bit wide. A bit dark. His lips a bit parted. A bit up turned.

— A vibrator ? Would the queen of the party leave her guests by there own to go take care of her carnal needs ?

— i mean ...i'm was going to wait until everybody is gone.

— How gracious of you. But everyone is not to be gone until at least five in the morning.

— i...it can wait.

— you see, dear, at the way you are shivering, and blushing, and the way you shivered and blushed when my fingers flew over your neck earlier, i don't think it can wait this much.

You blush even more and you don't know what to say. Truth be told ...you could litteraly feel your body burning with desire.

After few seconds of silence Loki got up.

— If you want to have something that surpasses anything that you crave, leave those people, come to my room, I'll be waiting for your visit. Happy birthday, dear.

And with that he is gone.

You were delusional. That can not have just happened.

Dream or not you are doing it.

It doesn't take you any thinking to hop on the offer. It only takes you some drinks.

What is Loki, god of mischief, planning for you ?

Three drinks later, you are ready to find out.

***

— do you want to drink something ?

You rock your head right and left.

— tranquilize yourself, we are not going to do anything you don't want, but, knowing about your little... penchant, towards me, and having myself, an... inclination towards you, i thought you..

— you...have a ...i mean, you like me?

— Darling, the I've never been indifferent to you. And you've been playing with the charms around me. I'm not made of stone.

You feel yourself blush from head to tow and try to cover a silly smile.

— You noticed..

— of course i did, it was very endearing and a grate pastime. Now, are you sure you don't want any drinks?

— I'm sure.

— good. Regaining confidence, confidence is beautiful on you darling.

You smile and approach him, balancing your hips and slightly smiling.

He keeps his eyes connected to your, and when you are just inches from him, you out your mouth close to his ear and confess

— i loved the hair pin that you gifted me, and ...i loved it so much that i matched my lingerie with it. Dark green and black lace, would you like to see it ?

His voice darkens, deepens, seemingly erupting from earths foudaments.

— Strip.

The command fuses. And you take a step back, ready to obey it. As you rapidly attack the zipper of your dress.

he murmur :

— slower, darling.

Your hands travel your body, caressing yourself before slowly pushing the sleeves of your dress down your shoulders, and slowly unzipping it, caressing every bit of soft skin that appears to sight from under your arms to your hip. He now can see your beautiful chest in this transparent lace bra that fails to hide your hard nipples. you turn around, but keep looking at Loki from above your shoulder. Subtilty arching your back, you push the dress past your round ass, revealing your dark green tanga with two little black bows, one on the front one on the back, oranges with black pearls.

He is eye-eating you. Already devouring you without a touch. He slowly gets up, and still not touching you, with just his got breath and lips again your ear he says : «you're going to keep it, and I'm going to take you in this beautiful lingerie»

You don't have time to agree as he goes from not touching you at all to touching you EVERYWHERE at the same time. His hands are greedy and his long cold fingers send shivers under your skin. He is massaging your tits, groping your ass, caressing your belly, drawing the line of your waist, falling on the curve of your hips, worshiping your delicate neck. And all you can do is hold on to him, with a hand on his neck, pulling at his beautiful dark hair, and with the back pushed to him, you could fee him grow bigger against your ass.

Turning back you decide to take the lead a fiercely kiss him. Your tongues meet and fight. You taste and bite and Savour eachother, the kiss expressing a hunger that have been here for so long.

— I'm going to do you a big honor, dear, I'm going to get on my knees for you, and i expect that to be and stay your greatest birthday gift.

And with that he kisses his way down, until he puts one then two knees on the ground and is facing your already wet sexe.

— I'm so curious to see how much desire you have for me.

You are mesmerized by the vision, Loki, god of mischief, on his knees, for you, ready to teste you, what am I saying, to ravage you, admiring you like you are the most beautiful woman or the world. The first and last. You can't breath and can't look away, any shyness pushed far by your desire and need.

His fingers caress a bit harshly your slit, pushing on your clit and making you jump back a little, bit he is quick to grab firmly on the back of your thighs, and you know from the slight pain that there will be marks there, bit you also understand the need for such a strict hold because immediately after he is pushing the underwear aside and...well he doesn't do any work at half, he is going at it all heatedly, his tongue flat against you no teasing, right to the point.

Your fingers automatically find their rightful place in his hair, pulling at it and making him groan. His hands reache up, and grabbing at your ass cheeks, he pulls you closer to his mouth, making you grind your wet core on his face.

— you are the most flavorful precious little thing I've ever tasted. I love how you rock your hips against my face, are you close to your release ?

— yes, yes Loki keep going.

His skilled tongue goes back and forth from your entrance to the over sensitive point under your clit to the top nerves, going from simulating it from left to right to top to bottom, and clearly taking such a pleasure in doing that to you that the vision gets you off like no other and ton start to moan louder and shake.

— such a beautiful woman, cum on my tongue, show me how you like what I do to you !

And with few more methodical stokes of his tong on your clit you shake and cum, and if it wasn't for his firm grip you'd have fallen to the ground.

«hmmmmm» he groan, kissing his way back up, and kissing you deeply, making you taste yourself. That is the first time someone does that to you, and you feel so nasty and you deepen the kiss, curious to share what you taste like, you feel him smile against your lips, and as you start to unbutton his shirt, be stops you.

— the next time, did you forget that you have a birthday party to return to after that ? And i have to confess, i want to be inside you immediately, no time for undressing.

You push away the idea of going back to that party, and focus on "next time" and "inside you" while he backs you up into the bed than hugs and you turn you around so you are sitting on his lap.

You hear his zipper go down, and following every movement he is making, filled with lust and envy, your heat skip a beat as soon as his length springs free, you feel it hot and heavy on your inner thigh, and you have a hard time breathing, your walls clench and you can't wait to have him inside. You have desperate moans and your hips move instinctively, and your reactions seems to amuse him enough to tame the emergency of burying himself deep inside you, as he takes the time to slip his cock between your labia, teasing you clit, and you entrance.

—Loki please...

— oh ! —he take on a dramatic théâtral voice— How mischievous I am being dear, on your birthday night non the less, I'll leave the teasing for another night then.

And with that, he is balls deep inside of you. Ripping out a long scream from your throat.

Both his hands find their place on your hips, and guide them up and down his shaft, kissing along your neck, and Whispering praises in your ear “queen” “beauty” “gem” “inteligent” “passionating” those all are word he slips in your ear while pushing his cock as deep as it can reach, which is enough to banish your soul out of your body. He is breathy, and grunting, and his paraises are starting to make less and less sense as he is getting close to his release.

— I want to cum on you beautiful chest, love.

— Yeah ?

— yes, i want to know that you won't think of anybody else when we go back to that boring reception, you'll think of me marking you, making you feel good, offering you all the pleasure you'll ever need to receive.

He bucks his hips faster and faster, and with that sends you over the edge, you don't have time to recover, as soon as you open your eyes back he is pushing you on your knees and jerking off, grunting and telling you how beautiful and good you are, you can't get enough of the sight of him, head thrown back, stumbling on his words, his hand stroking his cock faster and faster, until strings of white Milky cum land on your chest. you look at that, pushing out your tits, presenting yourself to him, letting him mark and own you as he wanted.

***

— darling, says Loki, while presenting you his arm to put your under, taking you back to that party that seems way more interesting now, arms under one another.

It especially looked more interesting now that he has suggested that public sexe was an interesting concept.

[dreadpoetssociety]

Fevers Don’t Exist

TW: Fever ? (I’m not sure what counts for triggers so pls lmk if I miss anything)

Prompt: hi!! could u do one maybe where like, the reader is an actress on supernatural and she plays like their younger sister on the show or something and she gets sick at a con or something? Thanks !!

NOTE: Hey guys, I’m alive!!!! I know I have a lot of Spencer prompts atm, but it’s really hard to write them when I’m not like, hyper focused on Criminal Minds. I am going to try though! So sorry I’ve left so many of you in the wind, I am a very inconsistent person, my bad. But here’s this! It’s REALLY bad because I’m terrible at being realistic but like idk it’s something.

I really don’t even know what to put for tags on this. 

()()()()()() 

Ah, September. You knew what came along every September, and looked forward to it for the first eight months of every year. Secaucus, New Jersey. You loved every con you went to, truly. Everyone was so nice, you love staying in hotels, panels are such a great time, the whole thing. It's a great experience outside of the set to get connected with fans. And, they loved you almost as much as you loved them. You were typically closer in age, since you were still just a teenager. You also started out as a fan of the show before somehow snatching a role, so you really were with them at one point. Everything that excites them excited you just as much. And, you loved making friends with them. You weren't allowed to be reckless with your phone number, so you made a snapchat that you shared exclusively with con goers, whom you made swear to secrecy. It was like a club, and you just enjoyed genuinely talking to everyone. But, when you woke up that first morning, you knew it was going to be a long day. Your body ached, and you were still pretty exhausted. You had a fever, but didn't really know if it was a fever because you were still young, and God forbid you ever decided to recognize the signs of you being sick. It was almost like a form of denial, not knowing. You were sweating, but freezing, and your throat felt particularly dry. Your headache rested underneath your eyes for the most part, to which you just blamed on being tired. Your stomach didn't hurt, but you definitely weren't hungry. Even though you hadn't felt exactly 100% the past days before, and you obviously weren't feeling right now, you just deduced that it was all because you were tired, and had a late flight in. As a responsible person does, of course. You didn't even bother taking any medicine for it, because hey, you obviously weren't sick, you'd feel better in a bit, and you didn't have any, so why waste the time, right? 

You groggily got dressed and met up with "the boys" (even though they were all older than you) for the free breakfast downstairs, in a separate room, since fans did happen to stay in the same hotel. You grabbed some Cheerios, only to conspicuously throw them away after. 

"You good, Y/N?" Jared asked out loud, gaining the attention of Jensen, Misha, and Alex. You could feel their eyes burning through your skin. Or, maybe that was the fever. It had to be their eyes, you convinced yourself, you didn't have a fever. You were fine. 

"Yeah, why?" you asked, faking the perk in your voice and confused eyes. Your eyes felt really heavy, you noticed. 

"You just... You look exhausted. And pale." he said, "And you threw away that cereal without eating any of it." 

You looked down at yourself as an effect for what you were about to say, "Wow, well that's one way to make me self-conscious. I thought I looked kind of poppin'." you laughed slightly, trying to play it off. 

"W-wait, no that's- that's not what I meant! You look fine, I just-" he was embarrassed. You and the others chuckled.

"I'm kidding. I'm all good, just went to bed late, y'know?" you smiled. It was hard to try and mask the rasp in your voice, and doing so made you feel the need to cough, so you downed some water until it dialed down a bit. He nodded. In your mind, you blessed your acting skills, thinking you got away with it. What you didn't know was that Misha, Jensen, and Jared, as fathers do, knew every trick in the book, and each noted to keep an eye on you. Not to mention, they'd been acting far longer than you had, and could just tell when one switches into a character. They all figured that if you weren't sick now, you would be in days to come, and exchanged glances with each other, while Alex innocently continued to chew on his toast. 

"Well, if you're tired, I don't think you have a panel or anything for another hour or something, maybe you could catch up on some sleep then." Jared suggested. You shrugged.

"Nah," you said, "I've got photo-ops in like, twenty minutes. I should actually probably get going. I'll catch up later!" 

You left with a wave, and disappeared into the hotel somewhere. You stopped in your room, allowing yourself finally to set free the coughs living in the back of your throat. You blamed it on your throat being dry since you didn't drink enough water. Not on germs. So, you grabbed two water bottles from the small fridge in your room, and left, making your way towards the convention center.

  You felt slightly better during photo-ops, which just confirmed in your mind that it was impossible that you were sick right now. You smiled and talked to everyone. There was one girl, who introduced herself as Meredith, who stuck out in your mind. She gave you this super cool hand painted keychain, which you very excitedly put on your keys instantly.

"Dude, I've been looking for a cool keychain. Not just one of those janky ones you find at like 7-11, like a cool one. This is so exciting." you smiled genuinely. You had just recently bought yourself a car, and thought that your keys looked a little lonely, and searched for hours on Etsy for something to spice it up a bit. A weird obsession, thinking about it now.

She laughed, "I'm glad you like it!"

"Hell, yeah! Now, are there any poses you wanna do? Or do you just want to hit that casual look? I could make it look like I'm meeting you." you stupidly rambled. One of your traits that was so widely known was how funny and awkward (in a good way) that you were. It took you a long time to get to that point, though, because you were always anxious about meeting others. You still are every now and then, but it's different here. 

"I was just hoping to get a hug." she said, "If that's okay with you." 

"Yeah, that's cool!" you wrapped your arms around each other and shot the camera a grin. The girl looked a bit confused. 

"Hey," she said, quietly, "are you like, okay? You feel really hot."

Nervously, you replied, "Oh, no, yeah totally fine. I'm just wearing two layers, and it's getting spicy in here."

"Yeah," she answered, "don't push yourself, okay?"

"I won't, thank you. It was really nice meeting you!" 

"You, too! Thanks!" she waved goodbye and you moved on to the last few people in line. She was right, though. You realized that you felt worse than you did when you walked in. You thought it had gone away for a while, but now it was just amplified. You noticed you were cold again, but that you were sweating as well. It must've just been the temperature in the room. These conventions aren't always able to keep a steady temp in the entire building, right?

This day, you didn't have much to do. Most of your events were on the other days to come. You had one panel in a few hours, and then a panel with Jared, Jensen, and Misha a few hours after that, and then bam, the day was over. You just had to get through those two events. Just two. 

Two, events. And both were an hour. So, two hours out of the day. Rookie work. Yet, as your panel approached, the headache had expanded from under your eyes to anywhere that there was space to hurt, your throat ached and so did your lungs from how much you were going off somewhere to cough in privacy, your body felt heavy, you couldn't tell if you were hot or cold at this point it was some weird combination of both, your stomach hurt just slightly, the world was moving around you a bit more than it usually would, and the fever you "didn't" have had climbed a degree, probably two. And, at some point during the day, you got pretty congested. You felt like you could just fall asleep at any moment. Jared and Jensen happened to be walking by where you had been waiting by yourself, away from any congoers or employees, and noticed that even though you were leaning against a wall, you somehow were still swaying.

"Y/N?" Jensen called out, worried. You heard him, you knew you were supposed to respond, but didn't know how. Maybe you did have a fever, and maybe you sort of let it out of control. It was like you were comprehending them, but not at the same time. You heard everything, but it just swept right through your feverish mind. The walked in front of you and examined you within seconds. You felt Jared's cold, really abnormally large man hand sweep your hair back and land on your forehead. 

"J, she's burning up." you felt another hand on your face. You, quite exhaustedly, swatted it away. They couldn't figure out how it'd gotten so bad so quickly. You were sick this morning, but not to this degree. They knew then that you had just shrugged it off all day, and your teenage fever brain probably didn't even think to take any kind of medicine or anything for it, even if you were trying to hide it.

"I'm good. Just tired. Fevers don’t exist." you finally mumbled, taking a few deep breathes, which you hadn't really been able to do in a bit without being rudely interrupted by a bone-shaking cough. It felt nice, almost. The boys sighed at you and shook their heads. 

"Y/N, you should go back to your room and get some rest. We can bring you some stuff that'll help." Jared suggested. You shook your head and opened your eyes, which somehow felt even heavier.

"Nah," you said to them, "I've got a panel, I think, in like, I ‘dunno, some minutes or something. Something I-" you pushed yourself off the wall to try and make your way somewhere, but stumbled a step or two, which result in Jensen and Jared instinctively to grab you in order to keep you steady.

"Like hell we're letting you go to that, Y/N, you can't even form a sentence, or stand for that matter. You're out of your mind. We're going to bring you back now, we'll take care of your panel thing." Jensen stated pretty sternly. You were about to fight back, and they could see it, but you coughed a few times, and they could almost feel it in their own chests. You just nodded in defeat.

"Yeah, maybe I could just like, sleep, for an hour or two." you whispered, tiredly. The two were still holding you steady, and could see you already falling asleep before even going anywhere. 

"Or six, by the looks of it." Jared joked lightly.

"Poor kid." Jensen said to Jared as the were walking out of your room. They helped you get there, and you were gone before you even saw the bed, "Why do they always have to pretend like they aren't sick? Look where it gets them."

"Don't know, man. You can't talk, though. You literally tell people you are immune to illness." Jared laughed quietly, shutting you door.

"Well I am. I am the perfect example of health. I don't get sick." 

"Yeah," Jared rolled his eyes, "Right. Watch you catch what Y/N has. You practically carried her all the way here. There's no way you're escaping it." Walking towards the center, the back way of course, Jensen scoffed, "Please, germs take one look at me and know not to mess this up. And, by the logic, that means you're already infected, too. So, tell me, princess, what sort of soup do you want spoon-fed?" 

Again, Jared rolled his eyes, and the two laughed. They weren't making fun of you, they were making fun of each other, and knew that you would've wanted in on that action.

"Y/N probably would've destroyed us if she heard that. Something along the longs of 'You want me to tuck you in? Carry you bridal style?'" Jared pitched his voice a tone higher for it. Again, the two men laughed.

They made their way backstage of what's supposed yo be your panel, and informed the crew about what was going on. They were just going to fill in for you, probably tell a few embarrassing stories.

When they made their way through the curtain, the crowd shouted. They were obviously excited to see the two leads, but also were obviously confused. "Alright, you're probably confused." Jensen stated the obvious, "Because obviously, we look nothing like Y/N, and thank God she does not look like us." The crowd laughed.

"Anyway, Y/N can't make it today. She's really sick-" the crowd cut Jared off with a unison "awe." People yelled out that they hoped she felt better, tell her to take care of herself, and so on.

"Yeah, poor kid looked like she was just going to fall asleep right where she was standing. She literally tried to come anyway, like, kid, you're making no sense. Y/N couldn't really fight against us, though, so she's sleeping now." Jensen explained, "So we came here to chat in her stead, but just know she really was planning on coming. That kid loves you guys." and again, the "awe" rolled through the crowd. 

"If she wasn't sick, she could totally kick both your-" the last word was cut off, but was implied anyway, someone screamed from the crowd, which resulted in laughter.

"Yeah, probably. Even if we were stronger than her," sarcastically, of course, "she'd still beat us. Kid's too fast, and I'm too old." Jared laughed.

In the last ten minutes of the panel, Jared decided to give you call. Not only to check in on you, but so you could at least say hi to your crowd. When you heard the phone ring, you groggily opened your eyes and aimlessly reached for it.

"Hello?" you answered. Jared almost frowned at how sick you sounded, even with just one word.

"Y/N?" Jensen stepped in, "It's Jensen."

"Unfortunate." you sighed exhaustedly. It was joke, a really tired one, but still enough to make the crowd laugh.

"We're here at your panel, we thought you might want to say hi." Jared said loudly, holding the speaker of his phone to the microphone. 

"Panel?" you asked. Panel? What panel? Your delirious mind was clearly confused, "Who's that?" 

"Y/N, the con. The convention panel?" Jensen actually sounded worried. They probably should've thought to give you some sort of medicine to do something about the fever you had before they'd left.

"Oh," you closed your eyes again, almost falling asleep, before remembering finally what it was they meant, and after a moment, "Oh! Crap, the panel thing, I'm late."

"No, Y/N, stay there, we've got it covered remember? You can't come. You can say hi to them, though." Jensen interjected quickly.

"Okay, hi guys." you just followed as told.

The crowd responded with a series of hello's. 

"'M really sorry. I hope they aren't boring you." the two men could practically hear you closing your eyes. The crowd responded in inaudible chatter. Jensen and Jared walked from the mic for a second.

"Sorry if we woke you, kid." Jared apologized, having just realized they probably could've left you alone, "W also just wanted to check in. See how you're doing."

"How are you feeling?" Jensen asked, but got a mumbled word in response, "Alright, well, just go back to sleep, we'll be up there soon." 

Jared hung up the phone, and the two began to answer the last few questions and close up. They waved their goodbyes to the crowd, and started heading back your way.

"Jensen, you got any over the counters with you? Thermometers or anything? All I've got is Advil, and I don't even know what's really bothering her yet other than that cough and being tired."

"Yup. Danneel always makes me carry literally an entire medicine cabinet, just for these moments. I'll go get 'em and meet you there. It'd probably do her some good to eat something, too. I don't know if she's got like, a stomach virus thing going on, though." Jensen answered.

"I'll see what she'll say and let you know." 

The two parted ways, and Jared made his way to you. Even though he'd only talked to you just a few minutes before, you were dead to the world by the time he opened the door. The room was boiling, and Jared looked over to the thermostat to see that you'd at some point put it on to 90 degrees. 

"Jesus, Y/N, I know you've got a fever, but damn." he said, more so to himself than to you. He looked over at you after turning it down to see you curled beneath what looked like any blanket you could find. He came over and started removing the blankets slowly, and shook you gently to wake you up.

"Y/N, wake up for a minute, it's Jared."

"'Mm." was all you said, until you realized your layers of warmth had been moved, "What're doing? It's cold."

"Y/N, you're dripping in sweat. It's the fever making you cold."

"I don't have a fever." you retorted, "I'm good. Just tired."

"Kid, you've been tired the whole day. You've been sleeping this whole time." he tried rationalizing.

"I have?" you questioned, closing you eyes again. Jared put his hand to your forehead again. Somehow, it was warmer than the first time he'd done it before the panel. It was then that Jensen finally appeared, a whole bag of things in hand, "Could you bring the thermometer over?"

"Yeah, gotcha." He walked over and rummaged through the bag at the same time, pulling out a thermometer.

"Y/N, we need to take your temperature." Jensen said.

"No need." you said, "'M not sick."

"You are so obviously sick, I'm not asking." again with that stern voice. Jared gave him a "Hey, she's sick, back off a little" sort of look, but it had worked, and you let them take your temp. They were almost shocked when the thing beeped at 103.

"Should we take her to a hospital? That's way too high." Jared asked. 

"If it gets any higher, yes, but let's see if we can bring it down first." Jensen replied.

"No hospitals." you demanded, opening your eyes and glaring at them. 

"We aren't bringing you yet, Y/N, but I need you to eat this so you can take some meds." he held out two pieces of toast that he must've brought from his room. You hated toast even when you weren't sick.

"I'm not really hungry." 

"I know, but it'll help. You haven't told us what's bothering you yet, either." Jared responded.

"Nothing's-" you coughed a few times, a bit violently, "bothering me." "We can see that." Jensen said sarcastically.

"Everything's bothering me." you whispered, giving up.

"Your stomach hurt?" Jensen asked. You waved your hand from side to side to signal a so-so, "Think you'll get sick at all?"

"No, it's not like that, I don't think." you breathed out, another cough escaping you. You took a few bites out of the toast. It made you uncomfortable, but it was then that you realized you probably felt that way since you really hadn't eaten much that day or the one before, which probably contributed to the splitting headache. It didn't go away after, either though. You pushed yourself up. You almost fell over, but Jared put a hand out for you.

"Alright, good. Take this. I'm going to be frank, it tastes disgusting." Jensen handed over a small cup of liquid, "Sometimes, if you take it like a shot, it helps. But you shouldn't know how to take shots, but if you do it, I won't judge." And so you did, causing the two to chuckle slightly at you. 

"You were right, about the sleep thing." you slumped back onto the bed heavily, like a brick.

"When am I ever wrong?" Jensen asked, "Don't answer that, actually."

But you were already sleeping again, and the boys decided to stay nearby for now. The next panel wasn't for another few hours anyway, and they just didn't want you to be alone. Also, incase you were wrong about the toast, and it decided to make its return. Jared's phone began to ring loudly, to which he very quickly tried to answer so his obnoxious ringtone wouldn't wake you up again, not that you wouldn't have just fallen back asleep anyway.

"Misha? Hey, what's up?" Jared answered. Jensen walked over to hear what was going on on the other side of the line, but Jared just decided to put it on speaker.

"Where are you guys? I haven't seen you all day. Felicia, Alex, and I are going out for lunch, we were wondering if you guys want to come. I tried calling Y/N, but she didn't answer, so." he rambled.

"That's because Y/N's not feeling well." Jensen said, giving him a solution to his predicament of not being answered, "We're with her right now, so we'll have to pass."

"She's sick? Is she okay?" 

"Yeah, I think so. She's just got this crazy fever we've been trying to bring down. Thinking about it now, Jensen, we should probably check it again." 

"A fever?"

"It's been at 103 degrees for like, two hours. At least for what we know of. She's probably had one all day, but as a dumb teenager does, she just tried to ignore it." 

"If it goes up you should-"

"Yeah, we know," Jared said, "we're trying really hard to avoid that, though. Also, she'll definitely fight against it, I don't know." 

Jensen, from the other side of the room at the sound of a beeping thermometer, could be heard on Misha's end, "It went down, finally. 102.2."

"Thank God, I was getting worried."

"Should I come there? Do you guys need any help?" Misha asked.

"I mean you can, but I think we're good. She's just been trying to sleep it off the whole time, so not much is really going on." Jensen was closer to the phone now, "Like, she's got this cough, a headache, and you can hear how congested she sounds, but mostly I think she's just exhausted. I honestly don't know how because she's just been sleeping for hours."

"Fatigue."

"Yeah, poor kid. I don't think I've ever seen her so tired, it almost makes me tired to be honest." Jensen joked.

"Maybe you're just getting sick." Jared slipped in.

"Not possible. I am immune."

"Nobody is immune, Jensen." Misha sighed.

"I'm not nobody." he shrugged. 

"Alright, well, we're going to get lunch then. If you need anything let me know, and tell her I hope she feels better." Misha concludes.

"We will, thanks Misha." and with that, Jared hung up. For a few more hours, the two hung around. They were there when you woke from some fever dreams, and when you needed a cough drop, or twelve, and wake you up every now and then to check your temperature, which raised and dropped and raised and dropped, but currently was at a very steady 102.4. But, soon enough, it was time for them to leave for the last panel of the day, and unsurprisingly, you tried to follow suit.

"Y/N, we gotta go, but we'll be back in about an hour from the panel." Jared said. You took a deep breath and sluggishly pushed yourself to the side of the bed. Having been sick, and not having sat up in a few hours, the blood rushed from your head, leaving you dizzy.

"What're you doing?" Jensen asked.

"The panel. I missed the last one I should go to this one. I feel okay." you yawned, then coughed slightly.

"Y/N, really, you shouldn't even think about pushing it like that." Jared said. Jensen walked over to you, half on the bed, clearly trying to steady yourself just from the movement of sitting up. The spinning room honestly almost made the toast make a reprise, and you hiccupped, and held your breath.

"Hey," Jensen grabbed a can quickly, noticing, "are you going to be sick?"

Giving it a minute, it went away, and you shook you head no, causing a huge tension to leave the room.

"Alright, well, remember how you said I was right all the time earlier?" Jensen pun the can down.

"No, must've been the fever." you half joked, causing Jared to laugh. 

"Alright- well- okay, shut up. We agreed I'm always right, and that I was right about needing sleep, so I say you need some more." Jensen demanded rather than suggested. 

"Yeah, or at least lay around and do nothing. I can't imagine ever sleeping as much as you just did." Jared joked, pushing you very gently back down, with his hand on your back, knowing you would just hit the bed without it. Your eyes were heavy again, and your throat was painfully dry, and you coughed. Your aching head also agreed with the two of them to your dismay.

"Maybe just a bit more." you mumbled, "A few minutes."

"Yeah a few minutes, sure." Jared smiled, knowing you were probably going to knock out for a few hours once again. You opened your eyes again.

"You think," you coughed, "that they'll be mad?

"Who?" Jensen asked.

Feeling pretty sick, you said, "That I don't go? I don’t feel really good."

Ah, the fever comes to play once again, it seems, but the two felt some sort of triumph now that you've at least admitted to being sick, even if it's been hours. It concerned them, though, if you felt bad enough to admit it.

"No, they'll be fine about it. We'll be back soon. Misha or Alex might come in to check on you, alright?" Jared answered, to which you nodded.

They weren't gone long. You spent half the next day sleeping, too, until you could stand without swaying. You did sneak back to the con, against Jensen and Jared's orders, since you really didn't break that fever and cough for a few more days, only to be caught after a tweet of you at the con was trending and the cast caught wind of it. But, eventually, you were better, and got the chance to help Jared take care of an "always immune" Jensen. And he was more stubborn than you were.

[wisteriabookss]

My ACOSF Review (2/5 Stars)

Please respect my opinions. Not everything I say will be praiseful or nice. While I liked a lot of this book, a lot of it frustrated and bothered me. 

This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk. 

This review will be more of an overall impression, and I will get more in depth about certain characters in future posts. 

I eventually got into the plot of the book, but I don’t think it was as great or creative as it could’ve been. I feel like SJM recycled ideas she’s already used to create the storyline. A quest to find a magic object that can stop a war and save the world? That sentence applies to both ACOWAR and ACOSF. It’s even more disappointing when you know there were other routes the plot could’ve taken but were eventually scratched. It was the perfect set up for an Illyrian mountain setting, it was written in canon, and, unsurprisingly, SJM retconned and changed it. 

The Valkyrie plot was cool, if a bit forced and out of place. Nesta barely starts training, and all of a sudden she wants to recreate a powerful band of female warriors that we’ve never heard of in the context of this world? Honestly, it feels like SJM watched Thor: Ragnarok, and was like, “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.” I thought Helions winged horses would come into play with that, but I guess we’ll have to see.

I thought the Blood Rite plot was gone, but we got it in the end, even though it was rushed. The most beautiful parts of the book happened during the Rite, so I’m glad we got to see those.

The ending of Briallyn was so swift I literally had to go back a page to make sure I read it right. Literally one page, and she’s killed. I expected more. I can’t say I'm surprised by how rushed her death was when I knew the Feysand trouble was approaching, and the number of pages left was getting smaller. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that SJM would save Rhys, Feyre, and their baby. Out of the entire ensemble in Kingdom of Ash, she only had the heart to kill Gavriel, who wasn’t too much of a main character. There was no way in hell she would do that to Feysand. 

I’m sorry, but I do not like the name Nyx. Imagine calling someone Nyx? Did she originally have it as Nick, but just needed to put an X? My eyes were rolling so hard when I read it. Just put an ‘O’ in front of it and end our misery, though I still would’ve rolled my eyes at that name too. The name just reminds me of all the blogger moms who put X’s in their child’s names for dramatic effect that ends up looking like they can’t spell.

I also didn’t appreciate the out of touch colloquialisms in this book either. Prythian doesn’t have a name for anxiety, depression, or PTSD, but they know what lactic acid means?

The amount of sex in this book was something we had been warned to expect, and I think due to the fastness of me reading this book (finished in two sittings), it made it feel like the sex was happening every other page, which it basically was. I’m not going to be mad though because a) it was well written, b) I didn’t feel like it harmed the plot too much, and c) this is the only Nessian smut we’re going to see in canon. But that threesome line with Az. . . y'all know which one I’m talking about. . . the one with the details about certain positions. . .  chile um anyways let’s move on. 

I called it months ago that Emerie would either be Mor or Azriel’s love interest, and looks like it’s going to be Mor. SJM’s writing is fairly predictable, especially when it comes to romantic ships, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about the two of them. I will write about Gwyn and Azriel in Azriel’s chapter review (cause that monstrosity needs a post of its own).

Now about Nesta’s healing arc. Some of it was satisfying and others were saddening. I’m happy that Nesta was able to find purpose in her life, and not believe herself to be worthless or pathetic, but strong and powerful. I’m happy she found Gwynn and Emerie; I love their friendship. I love how they stuck by each other no matter what, and saw the good and potential in one another.

However, even by the end of the book, Nesta still thinks herself as undeserving. Of Cassian, of love. She knows she has it, and she's so grateful for it, but she still believes she is undeserving of it, that Cassian is just so much better than her. A part of learning to love and live with yourself is knowing what you deserve, so why SJM took that from her character, I don’t know. I was continuously disappointed when said she was undeserving of anything, even after she had learned and grown from her mistakes. 

Maybe SJM thinks the belief of being undeserving of one's partner is romantic. I’m telling you now, it’s not. All that does is give unnecessary power to a person you believe you are undeserving of, and this leads to unequal power dynamics in a relationship. Rhys was the exact same with Feyre, so I’m guessing it's a theme.

Speaking of romantic themes, the repetition of the “your mine-im yours” line in this book was nauseating. Your going to make Nesta say the exact same thing her sister said when they had sex? Is there nothing else SJM could’ve come up with? It’s just so weird. And I swear to god if I see Elain do the same thing I’m gonna vomit. 

Nesta apologized to Cassian about what she said to him on Solstice in ACOFAS as if he never called her unlovable. As if he never said he didn’t understand why her sisters love her. He never apologized for that. There was so much apologizing from Nesta to Cassian about her calling him a brute, as if Cassian didn’t say he was “shackled” to her after she clearly explained how she feared she would lose her humanity if she accepted the word mate. Not if she accepted him, but the word. 

For Cassian to routinely tell Nesta to, “shut her fucking mouth,” when she used some attitude against Rhys was comical. Rhys has been bad mouthing and disrespecting Nesta this whole time, and when she shows some warranted attitude in return (not even an insult), Cassian rips into her. It doesn’t matter what he did for you, babe. Not everyone has the same experience with Rhys, so Cassian getting angry when Nesta showing anger at the way she was being treated was wrong. Her experience with him does not become invalidated just because Cassian has a good relationship with him.

There wasn’t a character arc for Cassian, which was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. He thinks of himself as inferior and undeserving as well, and by the end of the book it’s not even clear if that stance has changed. We saw him grow into the courtier persona in the meeting with Eris when Tamlin shows up, but we never see it again. I know there were instances in which he stood up for Nesta, but he also very quicky after that became silent in other moments when they were insulting her. The next book isn’t in his pov, but I’m hoping we see him become more confident in himself and make a firmer stance to protect Nesta (although I doubt he’ll need to seeing as how Rhys kisses the ground she walks on now).

Now onto Nesta’s apologies to the IC. I think Nesta apologizing to Feyre was expected, and I’m glad the sisters had that moment. I am, however, upset that there was never a moment where all the sisters sat down, and hashed it out. Talked about what they’d been through, how it affected them, and how it affected their feelings toward each other. After everything that happened between Nesta and Elain, all that hurt, you’re telling me all it took was Nesta to make Elain laugh by saying “fuck you,” and we’re good? It’s lazy writing. 

Elain telling Nesta that she only cared about how her trauma affected her did not sit right with me. Nesta sat by Elain’s side for weeks when she was in the thick of her struggles, and refused to leave her alone for fear that her struggles would eat her up alive. She constantly looked for anything that could help her sister, and never left her unprotected. Nesta and Elain didn’t communicate after the war, for reasons that we now know was because of Nesta’s guilt for Elain being kidnapped. It is not abnormal when a family member has been traumatized by things that have happened to another family member. That’s expected. Ask any family who has lost a child or had a relative go through something horrible.

Elain is acting as if Nesta has only ever been concerned with herself when she’s spent her entire life concerned with Elain. I made a post long ago about how the IC only wanted Nesta to heal for their sake rather than her sake, and there’s so much more evidence for that than for Elain. Elain’s healing process was able to be understood and encouraged by the IC, whereas they had no idea what to do with Nesta. So for Elain to come at Nesta for not caring about her trauma, a second after Nesta was trying to protect her from further trauma by telling her she didn't want her seering for the Trove, was unwarranted.

Speaking about Elain looking for the Trove, what happened there? Elain had this whole speech where she said she wanted to do something and no one could stop her and then we just. . . don’t hear anything about it again? SJM had a perfect opportunity to do something powerful with Elain there, and completely threw it away. 

Nesta’s apology to Amren was extreme, dramatic, and honestly, unnecessary. Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life,” constantly demeaned and degraded her anytime her name was mentioned, and said she did all this because Nesta used her as a shield against her problems and the IC. Seriously? Nesta using Amren as a shield does not warrant that kind of verbal abuse. It doesn't make her a pathetic waste of life. Amren’s been alive for how long? And reacts like that to an obvious side effect of extreme trauma? No ma'am. Nesta getting on her damn knees was too much, and obviously just another moment, like a lot of moments, that SJM felt the need to make dramatic. And then having the audacity to let Amren say to Nesta that, “the struggle with the darkness is worth it,” when she was one of those people who contributed to that darkness is disgusting.

I didn’t like Rhys at all in this book. Even after he saw inside Nesta’s mind about her experience in the cauldron, he was still wary and rude with her. Literally anytime Nesta showed that she was changing, Rhys didn’t change anything about his attitude or behavior towards her. A moment of regret, and then he’s back to being arrogant ass Rhys. Him not telling Feyre about the baby was also extremely stupid. It’s her body, her life, her baby’s life, his life, and she had a right to know what was happening. Not telling her because you didn’t want her to be “upset,” is a dumb excuse. I thought you always promised to let her make her own decisions, Rhys? What happened to that promise? The one that was a hell of a lot better than the stupid bargain ya’ll made? Though Nesta told her out of anger, good on her for telling her sister. Should’ve happened way sooner. His apology to Nesta was the only one that warranted the dramatics. That is what you get on your knees for.

That whole scene about him becoming High King had me throwing the book. Amren telling Rhys that the swords were some sort of mother-mary-cauldron-blessed-hallelujah sign that he was supposed to be High King had me fuming. It’s Nesta’s power. It’s Nesta’s sword. That should have never been a discussion. Not everything is for Rhys. These people are so blinded by their love for him they can’t even see how arrogant he is. To write Nesta giving back Ataraxia made me so angry after we just had a whole moment where we find out it means inner peace. I just hope that all of this is not foreshadowing Rhys becoming High King. I know you love him Sarah, but please don’t.

All in all, this book wasn’t too bad. There were some great moments and some bad moments. I think SJM’s biggest issue in her writing is that she doesn’t outline, or at least doesn't seem to outline, not thoroughly. I feel like she uses plot devices willy nilly whenever it’s the easiest solution. There was never a moment where I said, “that was clever!” A lot of it was cool, but not clever. Not creative. She also has a tendency to write very dramatically, in staccato type sentences where everything is made into a big moment, which bugs me a lot. 

I love Nesta. She’s still my fav, and will probably always be my fav. This book doesn’t change that, and as you can tell in my review, most of the issues I had weren’t with her behavior, but with the behavior of other characters. I still love Cassian, even though he made me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

Will I read the next books? Probably. I can’t seem to stay away from these characters or these books, so kudos to SJM for writing them. I know a majority of people have given this book 4 or 5 stars, but I can’t bring myself to give it more than 2/5.

[cthulhuliet]

lips like licorice, tongue like candy

4.5k words | AO3 Link | warnings: explicit content, mild dubious consent (it is pretty brief)

"Ok- look, Ryuzaki, can you stop that?"

L frowns, "Stop?"

"Yeah, your finger on your lips while you talk, why are you doing that? It is distracting."

A flash of emotion passed through L's eyes, the black orbs widening ever so slightly. A wicked smirk spread across L's face that gave Light the temptation to slap him, but he was more so focused on the jolt of arousal that crept up his spine. L pushed his index finger against his lips and leaned forward with interest, "Light-kun finds me distracting?"

OR

The one where L has an oral fixation, and it causes a lot of problems for Light.

Note: I am glad I have returned with more smut after being dormant for a little bit, please enjoy and let me know if you liked shorter one-shots like this.

-

Light drummed his pen on the side of the leather couch, eyes focusing and unfocusing on the tired looking man in front of him, completely consumed by the contents of his laptop. Light himself was also supposed to be working, but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from L.

L: the brilliant detective, the letter and enigma, the critical minded genius. L certainly was all those things, though, right now all Light can think of him as is L: the annoying distraction.

It is difficult for anyone to not focus on L, in all honesty. His eccentric and wild appearance coupled with his odd demeanor made it difficult to look away. It was not even the first time L had distracted Light. He remembers every day of the entrance exams, feeling the prickling on the back of his neck like he was being watched by the weird, older student. Thankful, his interference didn’t distract him from getting perfect scores in all his subjects. And of course Light, as Kira, has many other reasons to focus on L.

“Interesting…” L muttered to himself and pushed the end of his pen against his bottom lip. Light looked away.

L seemed to be taking up a lot of his thoughts as of recently. It only makes sense-- they were in a constant, neverending staring contest, and Light was not going to be the one to blink first. Light did not need to further interrogate the perspiration under his arms whenever he is around him, or the heat blooming in his chest whenever he does that arrogant half-smirk. All in due time, Light will be rid of anyone who stands in his way. And if that means getting in his head, performing a few social niceties, and acting nice when spending time together, it is all worth it in the end. All warfare is based on deception, after all.

Light wasn’t worried. The victorious put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat. Right now, Light was simply annoyed.

The Task Force and his father had gone home for the evening. Light told him he wanted to stay up late studying so he didn’t fall behind on exams, and L offered to have him study at HQ for the evening. He asked this with a cake spoon hanging out of his mouth, spit dribbling down his chin, his doll eyes blank and wide.

Light bristled, “How could I say no?”

So here he was, pretending to study for an Ethics exam while his greatest enemy was sitting 5 feet away from him.

“L… Ryuzaki… What is your name?” Light wondered to himself idly. He twirled his pen between his fingers as he watched L swipe the frosting off of his plate and suck the icing off of his fingertips. Instinctively, Light licked his lips, they suddenly felt very dry. He fished around in his school bag and found the pack of apple cinnamon chapstick he carries with him.

“What are you doing?” L asked, pointer finger still hooked in his mouth.

Light read the label of the lip balm, avoiding L’s face, “Chapstick, lips felt dry.”

“It is the middle of Spring, I didn’t think people’s lips would get chapped this late in the year.”

Light idly threw the tube back in his bag, “Not chapped, dry. You keep it pretty cold in this hotel room, Ryuzaki.” L’s hand came to rest on his knee and Light was able to look at him again. He looks the same as he always does. “What, is my Kira percentage going to rise because I am abnormally using lip balm?”

L said nothing, but unabashedly stared at the shininess of Light’s lips. He brought his thumb and point finger up to his mouth, pressing it against them so the skin would move slightly with it. Light still had not quite gotten used to L’s staring, among other things.

“Can I try some?” L asked, his fingers still in his mouth.

“What?”

“Can I try some?” He repeated. Before Light could answer, L interjected with, “By refusing your Kira percentage will rise this time.”

Light was taken completely aback for a second, his hand spasming before he steeled himself, and relaxing his expression. There is no way L would be able to profile Light based upon something as trivial as sharing chapstick. Then again, there is no way to be sure of that… Is it possible he has some other goal in mind? But what on Earth is his angle here? Does refusing show a lack of empathy? Will offering lean into a transparent attempt of closeness because L thinks Kira would refuse something like that?

“Light, I am only joking.” L smirked, chuckling to himself slightly. “There is no need to be so serious.”

Doing his best to not leap over the couch and strangle the detective with his bare hands, Light busied himself looking through his bag, “I don’t think you understand that most people do not appreciate jokes about them being horrific mass murderers.”

Finger at the corner of his mouth, L expression relaxed, “Does Light-kun consider himself to be most people?”

Not entertaining that with a response, Light pulled out a fresh tube of chapstick and tossed it in L’s lap, “Here, go ahead and try it.”

L let the tube dangle from his pointer finger and thumb, reading the label before uncapping it and putting it on, “Thank you.” He responded simply. Light nodded, fighting the urge to stare at chapstick moving around his mouth and instead focused on the block of text in his notes, “Actually, while I have your attention, would you mind if I discussed something case-related with you.”

Light wasn’t sure if L was playing dumb or he actually could not feel Light’s idle gaze on him for the past 2 hours. Most likely the latter; the man seemed to be the type to ignore his surroundings when hyper focused on work. Still, Light moved his notebook out of his lap and onto the arm of the couch, leaning forward slightly. “Sure, what are you thinking?”

Moving out of his seat and back into his usual crouch onto the right side of the couch, he handed a manila folder to Light, who began idly looking over the contents. It was a record of criminals who had died in the past week or so, but by looking at the names, didn’t recognize any of the criminals. He wasn’t sure if these were simply not his doing or if the pile of bodies had just become that big.

“These are 5 criminals who have recently died of heart attacks in the past week. Their full criminal record is in front of you as well as various notes about how their crimes were reported in the media. Please, look these over and tell me your thoughts.”

Most of the notes were in English, the detective's native language, which gave him a bit of a headache, but Light was able to translate it pretty quickly. 3 of the victims had been convicted of sexual assault, one incident of grooming a minor, and a more horrific incident of stalking and killing a barista.

The world truly was disgusting.

But all of these must have been done by the second Kira. Light recognizes none of these names, and they were reported on channels and in tabloids he himself does not use. Even if they were, at least 3 of these crimes were minor enough for him to overlook.

He glanced up at L, eyes staring wide at Light, lips shiny.

It was going to be a difficult line to balance knowing why these kills obviously are not Kira, but also explaining how he came to that conclusion so quickly. But that doesn’t seem to be what L is looking for… What does he get out of this?

“Light?” L looked at him questioningly, brow furrowed and sucking on his lower lip with his teeth. The back of his neck prickled slightly.

“Sorry, got lost in my own head there.”

L tilted his head to the side, “Quite alright. Did you notice anything while looking those over?”

Light tapped the files with his pen, “I think so. It seems that all of these criminals were shown on the 12am news on channel 16, which according to our data, Kira has never killed those only shown on that program.” L nodded, but didn’t say anything. Light continued, “Also, it seems as though these 3 criminals were convicted of minor sexual assault crimes, which is different than Kira’s MO who mainly puts his focus on serious violent crime. I think that these deaths, at least for sure these 3, were done by the second Kira.”

“Yes… I suspected that much was obvious to you.” L muttered, frowning.

Light glared at L, “What?”

“We can separate the criminals that Kira killed from the ones that the second Kira did all day long, but that does not get us any closer to figuring out who they are.”

Oh. Now he knows what L wants. “Well, just by looking at these 5 cases and watching the video does not give me a lot of information, but it seems that the second Kira has a less ambitious motivation.” L leaned forward, thumb against lips. Light looked down at the criminals again, “Coupled with that, it seems like this Kira also has a specific MO, all of these criminals had been convicted of crimes specifically against women… Channel 16 during daytime airs music videos and dramas… It is possible that the second Kira is a woman.”

Light looked up and L’s previous scowl turned into a smirk, “Very good, Light,”

“W-what? Is this another one of your deductive reasoning tests?”

“No, actually,” L tongue flickered to the corner of his mouth before he spoke. Light could just barely make out his words with all the white noise, “I dislike profiling based upon stereotypes, so I wanted to verify my suspicion with you,” L switched out his thumb for his pointer finger, biting on the nail and letting it hang from his mouth.

Light began bouncing his leg. L was still talking, but Light was too engrossed in the way L’s lips were moving around his finger, and still slightly glossy from the chapstick, and oh God he’s pulling on his bottom lip now...

“- both verified that I feel much better about my theory.” L finished, even though Light stopped thinking about the Kira case at that moment long ago.

"Right," Light licked his lips and stared at the finger pressed to L’s pretty, pink lips. With the late hour and toll of simply being around L, Light had officially lost his patience, "Ok- look, Ryuzaki, can you stop that?"

L frowns, "Stop?"

"Yeah, your finger on your lips while you talk, why are you doing that?"

L raised an eyebrow, his hand dropping from his mouth, "I apologize if you were not able to understand, I can re-"

"No, I can understand you just fine, it is just distracting."

A flash of emotion passed through L's eyes, the black orbs widening ever so slightly. A wicked smirk spread across L's face that gave Light the temptation to slap him, but he was more so focused on the jolt of arousal that crept up his spine. L pushed his index finger against his lips and leaned forward with interest, "Light-kun finds me distracting?"

Light choked on the scathing “Not like that, pervert” and stuttered over his words, “I- Yeah, a bit. It’s hard to not, it’s something that is difficult to not pay attention to.”

L hummed, pushing his knee down onto the couch and resting his hands next to Light’s thigh, invading Light’s personal space completely, “Yagami-san and the other detectives never seemed to bring it up.”

“You are their boss, it would be impolite too.”

“Am I not your boss?”

“And here I thought we were friends-” Light smirked, “- Ryuzaki.”

This seemed to please L, as his cocky smicker was almost a smile, and his eyes alight with amusement, “We are friends?”

“Do you not want to be?”

“Is that what you want me to be to you-” L smirked, “- Light?” And his thumb was on his lips again.

Damn it, L…

Light swallowed, fiddling with the pen between his fingers, “You still never answered the question: why do you do that? Some kind of oral fixation?”

L simply shrugged, “We all have our quirks. I just happened to have more than others.”

Light felt physically pained in preventing his eye roll. Ignoring the detective’s wild appearance, the fact that he must sit with his knees to his chest, and only eat sweets, and constantly has to have something hanging out of his mouth-- it’s safe to say he adopted more than just a couple quirks.

Shrugging, Light chuckled airily, “Well, I suppose that is true for you. Not all of us have assumed weird habits like that.”

L raised an eyebrow, “Please do not try to tell me you are playing the innocent act again.”

“What?”

“Light, I do not know how you have not noticed, but you fidget and spin writing utensils obsessively.”

“I do not.”

“You are doing so as we speak.” Light stopped the pen from his usual thumb around, frowning. L eyes flashed and he bit down on his thumb, “Your tricks honestly are quite impressive.” He muttered, and Light had to make a conscious effort to not fiddle with the pen again.

L looked down at Light’s hands, now tapping against his leg. L moved his hand from where it was propped up his chin and lightly ghosted over Light’s wrist. “May I?” He asked, voice quiet and trepidatious, like how you would approach a skittish wild animal. Light nodded, doing his best to keep his head focused and wired. Why was he allowing this to happen? Why was he okay with being touched like this by L? Why did he so badly want more?

L grabbed Light’s left hand with both of his, fingertips ghosting over the palms and he rubbed against Light’s knuckles in a way that made him shiver. Thankfully L cared to not mention it. “Your hands are lovely, are you told that often?”

“Do people often compliment my hands? No.” Light scoffed, not for the first time wondering what L views as normal human reactions.

L said nothing about the sarcasm behind Light’s comment, “I am surprised, you have nice hands… Nice fingers... “ Light’s pulse sped up as L’s fingertips brushed over Light’s nails, “Long, strong, and slender. Am I right in assuming you played the piano?”

Light nodded, taking a moment to level his voice, “Yeah, my mother wanted me to, I took lessons for a while.”

L’s thumb rubbed against his palm in smooth, circular motions, Light completely entranced in the action. L did not spare any other part of Light a second glance, and Light was completely focused on L’s fingers on his hands and his lips slightly parted.

“You know, hands and lips are some of the most sensitive parts of the human body,”

Light blinked, “R-really?”

L nodded, “Yeah,” L brought Light’s wrist up to his mouth, and pressed his lips against it, “Though I assumed you already knew that.” Light hooked his ankles together and bit down on his lip, praying that L would not notice all the other physical reactions his mouth was causing. “That is why I like things near my mouth, and why oral fixations are so common,” His moved up Light’s hand, lightly kissing and sucking on any bit of skin that he could, L no doubt noticing Light’s shallow breaths and trembling fingers, “Just something against that sensitive bit of skin helps me focus. Sometimes it is a fork, sometimes it is my own hands…” He pressed Light’s fingertips against his mouth, his hands feeling the wetness of L’s mouth and tongue pressed so close to his lips, “And sometimes…”

"Don't." Light gasped out, pulling his fingers away from L's mouth. He meant to sound commanding, but even with the innocuous actions that L's lips had been doing made his head go foggier than it was a few moments ago.

L paused for a moment before he hummed, tilting his head. His eyes drank in Light's flushed face and he dragged his teeth across his bottom lip, "Saying "don't" with that expression will not make me want to stop." He inched closer, his breath hot against Light's neck, "In fact..." He nibbled on the lobe of Light's ear and sucked on it gently. Light swallowed hard to suppress a shameful whine, his nails now digging into his slacks, "It makes you look rather inviting..."

L's voice made him lurch bright red, the smooth baritone right against him was making the room feel unbelievably warm, despite the goosebumps running up and down his body, "Tell me I am wrong." He challenged, whispering the threat right against Light's neck. He gingerly took Light's hand again and pressed open mouth kisses against his wrist, trailing up to his fingers once again, "Tell me stop, Light-kun."

Light said nothing, and L nibbled the skin against Light's index and middle finger, before taking them further down to his first knuckle. His teeth grazed against the top of his skin and latched onto the indents in it, sucking softly. Light's throat went dry-- the action should not affect him as much as it does. And yet seeing L like this, erotic and teasing was making him very distracted.

"I- I don't know..."

"Hmph." L pulled Light's fingers from his mouth, and pressed them against his lips in the way he typically does with his own, "It's your body." L murmured, "Shouldn't you know what it wants?"

But that is the problem, Light knows exactly what his body wants. Every nerve is alight in his system, sparking and flaring with blistering heat, all yelling for L to please, touch me more. His logic was becoming fuzzy, having to live with the knowledge and settle into the deep end of the pool he dove into, knowing he was fraternizing with the enemy. What was making him feel this way? Were the lines between rival and obsession so blurred that he was now infatuated? When does the pain stop and the pleasure begin? Light couldn’t tell you, but L’s hands were caressing the inside of his thigh, and his tongue and teeth and lips were working at the right side of his neck, biting him just hard enough, and Light couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed L harshly by his messy waves, the other man moaning at the action and he desperately pulled their lips together.

L groaned into the kiss, Light’s hand still gripping his hair harshly. He wasted no time climbing into Light lap, straddling him and moving his hips in tiny circles on top of him. Light broke the kiss, sighing, partially from the friction on his cock and partially in the mental pleasure he got knowing that L was hard too.

“Tell me what you want, Light.” L moaned in his ear, dropping the honorific. He pressed their lips together and immediately bit Light’s bottom lip, Light unable to suppress the whine this time, “Tell me you want me, Light, I need to hear you say it.”

Light never thought he would stoop so low as to begging, but his head was already fucked out and lust-filled, never experiencing this kind of attention before today. He has a taste of blood and he wants more. It is not as though he was going to say anything untruthful, he may just have to remove his filter for a little while. So be it he has to do some pleading and mewling, L was offering himself to Light, in whatever way he wanted.

“Ryuzaki… Please, touch me, give me more. I need your mouth on me.”

L smirked as he moved out of Light’s lap and began to undo his jeans, and although L couldn’t see it, Light smirked too.

Only a fool would call this type of power submission.

Light lifted his hips up and L pulled down his boxers and jeans, leaving only Light’s cock in front of L. L paused for a moment, and it didn’t even cross his mind to ask if L himself had even done anything like this before. Light opened his mouth to prompt him, but just as he was about to ask, L flattened his tongue on the underside of his dick, dragging it upwards, before encasing the head with his lips, sucking and swirling over the tip.

Mouth open in a silent moan, Light was gasping and writhing, overcome with tight heat of L’s mouth. Light has never really wanted anything like this before. It fans over him in hot waves; pressure and pleasure and want and fire and burning and okay-

“L… L- wait!” Light said suddenly, and L pulled off, quirking up an eyebrow.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” The question was a bit tongue-in-cheek, one look at Light and you could see him overcome and over-wrought with lust.

“Do you- can you slow down a bit, I…” He didn’t want to finish that sentence, but L nodded.

“I see, you want to keep going… Have you never done anything like this before?” Light shook his head, throwing it back on the couch. He closed his eyes, but abruptly opened them as he felt L’s hand back on his cock, stroking him slowly, “Have you ever even masturbated before?”

Light scoffed at the accusation, “Of course, what kind of question is that?”

L hummed, licking his lips, “It is just you are so incredibly sensitive, everywhere…” L ran a fingernail down Light’s tight as if to make a point, and to prove it, Light whined at the action.

“How are you so good at this?” Light muttered, mainly to himself, but L’s keen ears picked up on it.

“You think this is my first time giving head?” L peppered kisses on the tip of Light’s cock, Light dug his fingernails into the palm of his hands, but also flared up at the news.

“Who else have you done this with?”

L pulled off of Light, an amused expression on his face, “Hmm… Didn’t take you to be the jealous type, Light.”

“I am not jealous,” Light wanted his voice to be commanding, but L was still rubbing the head of his cock with the pad of his thumb-- the tiny, barely there bits of pleasure were just as overwhelming. “I was just curious.”

L shook his head, unfazed, “Let’s just say he was an old roommate of mine,” He gave a short chuckle to a joke only he seemed to understand, “You’re not the first to be fascinated by my oral fixation, and I do love a nice cock in my mouth.”

Before Light could respond, L dropped down to his base, and Light let out a choked out moan, but was still coherent enough to berate him, “S-so you did know what you were doing?” L looked up at him, doll eyes all wide and innocent, a stark contrast to his not-so-innocent pink lips wrapped around Light’s cock. Just the sight made him dizzy, “Bastard...” He managed before slipping underneath the pleasure once again.

L sucked on Light’s head, using his other hand to stroke Light’s length. The dual sensations were overwhelming, but the best sight was watching L on his dick, eyes glossy but focused like he does when fixating on case or a sweet, but now all he wants to do it give Light pleasure and make Light feel good and have his lips around Light’s cock-- around Kira’s cock. He had to bite his lips at the laughter bubbling up inside of him.

He gripped L’s hair and thrust him further into L’s mouth. L moaned at the action, but he still looked up at Light, annoyed. He tried his best to put on his face of schoolboy innocence, but L didn’t buy it-- he never had.

“People usually ask permission before fucking their throat.” L pressed his thumb against his lips, “I wonder what it says about you that you didn’t…” Light rolled his eyes, and subconsciously moved his hands towards his achingly hard cock, but L slapped his hand away, “If you keep misbehaving, I won’t let you come on my face.” Light’s body shuddered at that. Painting the face of the greatest detective in the world with his come made his throat dry, and even the thought of it makes him want to groan. L’s face lit up at Light’s reaction, “Ah, so that is something you would like. Understood.” He idly stroked Light’s cock with a lazy smile on his face, “Be a good boy and let me know when you are about to come.”

Light moaned at the words and L’s mouth back on his cock. His motions were faster this time, taking him all the way down to his base and back again, never once slowing down or gagging as his cock hit the back of his throat.

No gag reflex…

Light brushed L’s hair out of the way of his eyes, and then ran a hand through his own hair, pulling on his slightly, needing something, anything to do with his hands.

Breathing started to be strenuous, and Light bit down on his lip to prevent from being too loud. It only just occurred to him that they may not be the only people in this hotel suite, but he was so far gone he could not bring himself to care. L does something with his tongue that had Light gasping and no longer suppressing those needy whines. L hums against his cock, amused, and looks up at him, eyes smiling, and god there is the edge. He’s so fucking close, and white-hot burning and overwhelming everywhere.

“L-” Light choked out, tapping his head.

L pulled off of him, just in time as well, as a few simple strokes to Light’s cock and a small whisper of “good boy” had Light careening over the edge, moaning loudly, eyes welled up with pleasure as L met his flustered and unfocused gaze, his own eyes glossed over with lust. Light forced his eyes to stay open as come shot onto L’s face, over his nose and cheeks and over his lips.

“I don’t want anyone else but you to see me like this.” Light shuddered at the sight of L, his pretty pale skin tainted and painted with his release, “Thank you.”

Light’s head was dizzy with pleasure, he slumped back onto the couch. L opened his eyes, a small winning smirk on his face.

Light thought he was going to make a show about the stickiness all over him, maybe cringing after the fact. Instead, he made eye contact with Light as he dragged his fingers across his cheek and sucked on his fingers, moaning as he was doing so.

Damn it, L…

He then casually reached over to grab the abandoned homework that was still on the couch, L’s face still dirty. He looked over it and smirked, “Ethics, huh?” His eyes shined with knowing amusement, “Quite the subject for you to choose, isn’t it, Light-kun?”

[bffsoobin]

Iced Chai

↳ you had a small obsession with drinking iced chai lattes between class, and it just so happened that the coffee store on campus had the best ones. when a new barista replaces the one who used to make your drink, you put him to the test. he makes the most wonderful iced chai you’d ever had. he’s also one of the most handsome boys you ever seen on campus.

➤ fluff, college!au, shy barista!hueningkai

Word Count:3,830

A/N: yes, this fic is very much influenced by my massive love for iced chai lattes and the way I consumed them up until March when we had to leave campus. Sadly I didn’t have any cute boys serving me :(. Anywho, I hope you enjoy it! Please keep in mind that I haven’t proofread, so there may be some small mistakes!

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:••:•.•

Calculus was a pain in the ass. Obviously, you knew this well before you scheduled for your freshmen year of college, but there was no way to avoid the reality handed to you by your major. So every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning at 8 am you endured the rambling lectures of your less than spry professor who could barely work his desktop computer. You tried your best to pay attention, you really did, but there was only so much you could do when the conversation shifted from tangent lines to the best way to reheat fast food french fries.

As you doodled in the margins of your lined notebook, your mind wandered to the only good thing sitting through this class does for you. Other than the credits. As soon as the clock struck 9am, you had a date with the on campus café. The roughly hour break between the end of calculus and the beginning of chemistry gave you the perfect window to enjoy some alone time. Homey, student run and always playing some version of a coffee shop playlist; the place was your haven on campus. Not only did you love the atmosphere and the fact that it was the best place on campus to study, but they also serve the best iced chai latte you’d ever encountered. The thought of the drink alone made your mouth salivate. From your first hesitant order, you had become hooked. Within your first week on campus, you had easily drank 10 cups of the chilled goodness before your roommate expressed concern for the sheer amount of sugar and dairy you’d been consuming. 

Due to the timing of your tri-weekly trips, you had always been served by the same lovely barista, Rachael. She was stylish, down to earth and always told you a good joke when you showed up looking especially out of it. Most importantly, something about the way she mixed the drink convinced you that she surely was sent from the heavens.

When your graying professor finally let your class go for the day, you walked on clouds to your favorite spot on campus. It had rained during class so the air was chilled and the ground was still damp. The telltale scent of rain invaded your senses and a chill ran through you. Most people would be craving a hot coffee or steaming cup of tea- but all you desired was the smooth flavor of your favorite drink. The walk to your beloved café wasn’t long, but you always found yourself in a bit of a rush to get there as soon as you possibly could. In a moment of carelessness, you stepped right into a rather large puddle and soaked one of your feet right through your shoes and your sock. Disgusting you thought as you finally arrived at the door. The handle was slick with moisture thanks to the weather, but you wiped your hand onto your sweatshirt as you stepped inside and let the familiar scent of coffee grounds occupy your mind. Your shoulders relaxed simply at the relaxed atmosphere.

A few students who also frequented around this time were sitting at their usual tables, and you waved at them politely before taking yourself- and your squelching shoe- over to the small booth you’d come to know and love. You ditched your bookbag on the table with a thud, feeling secure with the knowledge of your agreement with the girl who sat at the table next to you to keep an eye on your things. 

As you headed toward the counter, you belatedly noticed that the line seemed a bit more backed up than usual. It wasn’t too big of a concern, as your college was relatively small and waiting an extra five minutes would by no means ruin your timing. It was just curious. Usually Rachael ran the counter with the ease of an experienced sailor, but that ease seemed to be missing today. Nevertheless, the line inched forward steadily. Engrossed in your phone, you hadn’t noticed the glaring difference in your routine until you got to the cash register. While placing your plastic ID card over the scanner, you chirped “just my usual, Rachael!” 

Despite what your mind told you would happen next- she would laugh, say okay, maybe ask about class while handing over a receipt- you were met with an awkward stutter that your trusty barista certainly didn’t make. 

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know your usual,” upon finally looking up, your brain processed the sight of a new boy. A new gorgeous boy. Did they only hire beautiful people here? His black hair was falling into his eyes, charmingly shaggy and exposing just enough of his forehead to make you oddly wish you could see more. His cheeks were dusted in a light pink blush that both charmed you and made you feel bad at the same time. He seemed so fresh. Upon further inspection, you caught his handmade name tag written in slightly shaky handwriting that was so cutely boyish. Hueningkai. He had decorated one corner with a smiley face and the other with a drawing of a coffee bean that looked suspiciously like nothing more than a dark brown blob with a small accent line down the middle. 

“I’m sorry, Hueningkai,” you didn’t miss the way his eyes widened slightly at the use of his name, “usually Rachael is here to take my order. But I’ll take a large iced chai latte, please.” He nodded quickly, reverting his eyes to the LED screen which his eyes bounced around for a few seconds before he finally found the correct button. This must have been why the line seemed abnormally long. As the sound of your receipt printing filled the silence, you asked; “first day?” 

A melodious laugh fell from his lips, causing a scrunch of his perfectly pointed nose that you felt honored to have seen as he stepped away from the register to start making your drink. “That obvious, huh?” Another worker came to take his spot and serve the next student but you followed Hueningkai to his new destination. For as shy as he was at the cash register, he moved with much more confidence when it came to actually making drinks. His earlier hesitation was totally gone as he got to work mixing up your drink. In his new position, you could get a better look at his hands, adorned in simple silver jewelry that embarrassingly made your breath catch in your throat. His actions were over almost as quickly as they began, and his earlier hesitation seemed to return as he slid the drink to you over the granite counter top. You grasped at it eagerly in the same moment he reached to balance a straw on top of the lid. 

For a brief moment your fingers lingered and your mind went wild at the absurdity that you honestly felt sparks pass between the two of you. 

“Oh, uh, sorry,” he mumbled, dipping his head down awkwardly as he finally tore his hand away. You smiled back earnestly, hoping to make him understand that you weren’t bothered at all by the contact. 

Back at the safety of your table, you took a second to collect yourself. Surely you were overreacting to the small interaction. After all, you were already having a pretty weird day. Looking down at your clear cup, you remembered the beginning of your dilemma- the absence of amazing barista Rachael. Hueningkai was adorable, but could his skills hold up to the woman who made drinks you literally dreamed about? Tentatively, you took a sip of the drink and immediately cocked your head to the side. On the off chance your taste buds had totally deceived you, you took another long swig from the cup. 

Hueningkai’s drink was even better than Rachael’s.

——

The next morning, you awoke before your alarm even started to beep. Thursdays meant no class until 1 o’clock, so you had almost all the time in the world to catch up on assignments and homework and do your errands. Instead of doing anything constructive, you found yourself craving yet another iced chai latte. As you voiced this desire to your roommate, she looked at you as if you’d just admitted to the murder of 4 people.

“Are you insane? Do you not remember how miserable you felt after drinking two a day? I can’t let you do that again. You can go to the café but at least drink something different!” You knew that she was right, but something inside of you- that shitty little perpetual teenage boy who hides in a corner of your mind- told you to do the exact opposite of what she said.

“I’m sorry,” you shuffled through the shirts hanging in your closet, the sound of the plastic hangers clicking together resonating in the otherwise quiet room. “But you have to go to class so there’s no way you can police me. Plus,” you pulled a shirt out of your closet and slid over to your cheap full length mirror to inspect yourself. “You didn’t see Hueningkai. He is...” your cheeks flushed as your roommate began to let out a high pitched squeal. “Shhh! The walls are thin!”

“Oh don’t act so scandalized. I guess it makes sense that you’d have a crush on the boy who feeds your addiction.” You rolled your eyes at her, lobbing a pair of rolled up socks in her direction in retaliation. They hit her side softly before bouncing to the floor dejectedly. “You,” she pointed a finger your way as you rooted through your drawer for a pair of jeans, “are ridiculous. Have fun with your dreamy boy while I’m at class.”

Despite the familiarity of the path to the café, you still felt a bit out of place making the trip on a Thursday. Even the other students passing you by felt wrong in a way you couldn’t quite place. There was also the lingering worry that Hueningkai wasn’t even working today, and you’d show up to the small building just for a dose of disappointment. In you worried haze, you had barely noticed you arrived until the door was pushed open from the inside and a small pack of students held the door aside for you.

Inside of the building, a blanket of warm air surrounded your form and the faint smell of cinnamon drifted easily through the air. You were instantly calmed by the scent until someone bumped into your shoulder. With wide eyes, you looked around to see about double the amount of people your usual visits yielded. You were in no way prepared for the absolute mass of bodies that filtered between the tables and comfortable sitting areas. 

Feeling a bit lost, you put yourself into the line of waiting students and tried your best to peer over heads and around bodies to see if you could catch a glimpse of the barista that had captivated you so easily. It didn’t look like he was making drinks, but you held out hope that he was manning the register that was blocked from your sight. After what felt like forever, you reached the register and came face to face with...not Hueningkai. Despite your disappointment, there was no way you would turn down a drink, even made by a non-Hueningkai. 

Once you had the chilled cup cradled in your hands, you took a hopeless look around at the full dining room. Almost every table looked to be occupied, and some students had even resorted to leaning against the walls to chat and sip their drinks. The back of your neck began to heat up as you wandered around hoping for anyone to decide they were done and get up to leave. You had almost given up and decided to just go back to your dorm and lick your metaphorical wounds when a voice called your name. It only took a second of looking around to lock eyes with the one who was calling for you. 

Hueningkai. He had a light blush filling his cheeks as he waved a hand noncommittally your way. He looked ethereal sitting at the table, hot cup of something steaming next to his sticker covered laptop. His eyes were wide and adorably eager; akin to the look of a puppy who had just seen their owner after a long day. Your feet were working before your brain, so when you arrived to the table you had to scramble for an opener. 

“Hey! I was looking for you!” you winced. Way to go, Y/N. Out yourself on the second meeting. “I mean, uh,” you felt the cup in your hand start to slip with the sweat your palms produced, “I was hoping you’d make my drink again.” 

A smile spread like wildfire on Hueningkai’s face and his eyes crinkled adorably in the corners.

“You liked it that much?” His voice was meek, oddly shy for the way he beamed up at you with so much ease. 

“Yeah! It was really good. Even better than Rachael’s, to be honest.”

“Really? She was the best barista here!” He brought a hand up to his mouth in shock. 

“Yeah, really! Anyway, I can get going if you...you look busy,” you gestured toward his open laptop and drink that you were sure was rapidly cooling the longer you distracted him. 

“No!” he blurted the word before visibly flinching at his actions. At least it wasn’t just you feeling like a fumbling idiot. “I called you over cause it looked like you needed a seat? And if you want to sit with me, you can. I’m just working on a presentation and you won’t distract me, I promise.” There was no way you could deny the eagerness lacing his voice, so you pulled the chair opposite him across the floor and settled in. 

----

“That sounds like a date. A hangout at the very least,” your roommate asserted as she typed some code into her computer. 

“It was not a date!” You whined, glaring up at your ceiling from your spot on your twin XL. “He just saw me looking for a place to sit and offered.” She scoffed. 

“Yeah, and then he proceeded to ignore his homework to talk to you. And then he asked if you were coming back to the cafe tomorrow. And then he-” 

“Okay, I get it! But what am I supposed to do? Ask him out?” A bubble of nerves was resting heavily in your stomach at the thought. As much as you liked him, who were you to think that he wasn’t just being kind? When you voiced this concern to your roommate, she tossed her computer to the side and strode over to your bed to not-so-gently pull you out of it. Without an idea of what she was doing, you stood dumbly until she put on her slippers and drug you out of your room. 

“What are you doing? I didn’t even put my slippers on!” Your sock covered feet slid across the tile of the hallway as your roommate finally hauled you into the common room of your floor, where a few small groups had gathered to do various activities. 

“Hi everyone! My lovely roommate Y/N and I have a question for you. Do any of you know Hueningkai? He works at the cafe, really tall, music major?” A few people nodded in confusion, surely wondering why the hell one of the polite tenants of room 112 was conducting some kind of survey in the lounge. 

“Great. Has he ever shown interest in any of you? Asked you to sit with him in the cafe? Spent about an hour inquiring about your life instead of quietly working? Gave you his number?” Everyone who had previously nodded stood still, not moving an inch as they whispered between each other. “Okay, that’s all!” Your roommate left with no further elaboration as you called out a weak apology to everyone. Back in the safety of your room, you stared at her, scandalized. 

“What was that?” 

“That, my dear Y/N, was proof. He likes you!”

----

A nervousness you hadn’t felt since move in day was crawling through your body the closer the clock ticked to 9 am. Theoretically, you could just skip going to get a drink today, and therefore avoid the source of your nerves; but you knew that Hueningkai was expecting you to show. He had even sent you an eager text this morning with a series of heart wrenchingly adorable emojis. There was no way you could avoid him after that. 

Late fall weather had surely settled in today and you felt the chill settle into your bones as soon as you stepped out of the math building. For a few seconds, you stopped to watch a rough breeze rustle browning leaves across the concrete paths of campus before simply digging your hands further into your pockets. You had to power your way through this. Worse case scenario, he says no and you can never show your face on campus again. Simple. 

The door felt especially heavy under your hands as you hauled it open. The much more familiar, sparsely populated shop greeted you but only ratcheted up your nerves. With less people milling around, there was no way to delay your conversation with Hueningkai. As soon as you began to approach the counter, you could see him stumble over to the register before the other working student could even attempt to. He tried to casually lean his elbow onto the half wall to his left, but he miscalculated and ended up shyly tucking his hands into the front pocket of his apron. 

“Hi,” you swallowed the lump in your throat and hoped that he hadn’t notice the shake in your voice. The familiar beep of the card reader interrupted your worries momentarily as you heard the boy in front of you exhale a greeting. 

“Your usual?” He inquired as if he hadn’t already seen you with the drink two days in a row. Not trusting your voice, you simply nodded and waited for him to punch the order into the screen. His hand hesitated as he glanced up at you again. “You’re the only person I know still ordering cold drinks in this weather,” a teasing smile had blossomed on his pink lips and your heart jumped at the sight. 

“Well, I guess I’m just a bit stuck in my ways,” you followed him, as always, to the other side of the counter where orders were placed when finished. 

“I like that,” he commented as he grabbed a cup, “it makes my job a whole lot easier,” your eyes locked onto his hands out of instinct. Yesterday you had noticed the addition of a thin silver chain around his wrist, and you would be lying if you hadn’t spent a few minutes admiring the delicate chain contrasted against the strength of his hands. A pour of ice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you caught the back half of a question from him. 

“What’d you say?” You felt as if lava was bubbling right under the surface of your skin as you reeled in embarrassment. You couldn’t believe that you’d let yourself miss a chunk of conversation for something so stupid. 

“Oh,” he seemed equally embarrassed that you hadn’t heard him, and it hurt your heart a little to see the way his eyes shook. “I just wanted to know if you had a good night yesterday. I mean because you-you told me when we hung out that you had a lot of reading to do, and I wasn’t sure if you got it all done. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with readings that I don’t do any of them, and Taehyun yells at me for that but I just can’t seem to stop doing it.” He was rambling, and you both knew it, but you let him continue as he shyly looked away in order to pour your drink over the ice. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I had an okay night. My roommate was a bit much, but I love her, so it was okay.” His eyebrow quirked softly at the mention of your roommate, but he seemed afraid to broach the subject just yet. He gave your drink a good swirl after sealing on the lid and slid it over the smooth counter to your waiting hand. Unlike the first time you had met, you had already grabbed a straw from the small display and plunged it into the drink. 

Although you should have walked away, something kept you rooted to the spot, Hueningkai seemed to be under the same kind of spell as he looked over his shoulder to see that no one else had lined up to be served quite yet. 

“Hey, I was wonderi-”

“This might be weird-”

Your sentences clashed in the air as you spoke at the exact same time. Your mouth hung open like a fish out of water and Hueningkai waved his hands around wildly in your direction. “Go ahead!” He enthused, looking as if he was going to melt into the floor as a side effect of interrupting you. 

“No, I mean, you can say your thing first, if you- if you want,” you offered weakly. 

“No, it’s okay, you definitely spoke first. G-go ahead,” he nodded rapidly in order to convince you further. You raised your eyebrows in a silent question of ‘are you sure?’, to which he nodded again. 

“Okay, I was wondering if you’d like to, uhm, go out sometime? On a date?” The words felt like weights rolling off of your tongue. Hueningkai blinked once, twice, a third time before he broke into a peal of laughter. A sudden wash of panic, as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over your head, filled your senses. This was it. You would have to transfer schools and change your hair color to get rid of this incident. Goodbye, life you had come to know and love. 

Hueningkai must have recognized your panic as he took a harsh breath and surged forward to reach for your arm. 

“Wait! I wasn’t laughing at you! It’s just that I was, um, also going to ask you out.” This time, a laugh bubbled up in your throat at the confession. 

“You’re right. That is pretty hilarious.” You admitted, feeling the tension around you totally dissipate. 

“Well, I think this bodes well for us. We’ve only known each other for a few days and we already have telepathy. My roommate will be so jealous. He’s been trying to meld our minds for weeks.” His personality was beginning to peak through when he spoke about his friends, you noticed. It was charming. He was charming. Not to mention, he still made the best damn iced chai latte you’d ever had. 

[tartagilicious]

[CN] Kiro’s Show Contract Date (eng translation)

✨kirp ✨  

⭐️ this date contains spoilers for a plot not released in English yet!

⭐️ sorry this took so long, doing my junior year of high school online was a very bad decision 😔

⭐️ dedicated to @kudoriee​ @flowerpoem​ & @elainabearie​ , who had to witness me freaking out about this date for two hours straight lol

— 

Seeing the clock advance further every minute, I finally took a deep breath and made up my mind.

MC: If you break the contract, you break the contract… I can’t disregard his health.

I picked up the phone and was about to make a call to Savin when an incoming call jumped onto the interface faster.

Kiro: Good morning, Miss potato chips!

MC: Did your fever go down today?

Kiro: Ah….After taking my medicine in the morning, my body temperature has stabled. My fever’s gone down and my condition is much better than yesterday.

MC: That’s good. You have a good rest Savin and I will take care of this aspect of the show.

Kiro: Well, I know the boss is the best.

MC: In short, you still have to take your medicine today, so please pay attention to the time…

Kiro: I know, I know.

I urged a few more words out of him, but just as I was about to hang up, other voices suddenly seemed to come from the other end of the receiver.... The voices of Kiki and Anna?

MC: Wait wait, kiro, where are you now? Are you at home?

Kiro: Hey, you already heard it. Then should I just come directly in?

As soon as Kiro’s words fell, the door of the office next to me opened, and bright golden hair and his bright smiling face leaped into my eyes. His blue eyes are clear as promised, but the faint sickness under his eyelashes cannot be hidden.

Kiro hung up the call and cleared his throat.

Kiro: Although I said it on the phone, I have to say it again in person: good morning, Miss potato chips~

MC: Kiro?! Why did you come to the company?

Kiro: Of course, it’s because I have to come! Don’t I have to go to a show today?

MC: I was just about to contact Savin to talk about this. Should we cancel this big show?

Kiro: But if the business refuses to perform, won’t you get a big penalty?

MC: You don’t need to comment on the liquidated damages. You need to rest now. If this performance makes you more sick, we’ll have a real problem then. Your health and safety are the first and most important things to me.

Kiro: ...___

He watched me seriously and abruptly smiled.

Kiro: I’m really happy that you care so much about me, but I still want to participate in this big show. First of all, because I prepared a lot for this performance, I don’t want to give up so easily; secondly, um…

Kiro seemed to be unable to think of the second reason. His eyes were so wide for a minute that he grabbed my hand.

Kiro: Secondly, I’ll always do things that make you think I am doing the best, so… trust me.

When we arrived at the show, the place had already begun intensive preparations. Models gathered in the backstage, and everyone was looking gorgeous and brilliant. When Kiro walked in, it was obvious that his mask still covered most of his face, but everyone’s eyes were still chasing the bright light subconsciously.

Reporter: Kiro is coming!

Model: It’s Kilo!

Savin: Sorry, let’s go, let’s go-!

Seeing that various forms of media were coming forward, Savin hurriedly cleared the way ahead and sent Kiro and I into a single dressing room.

Savin: ___, I’ll go to communicate with the stagehands over the specific performance situation, please help me with Kiro.

MC: Ok, leave it to me here.

Kiro: Leave it to me too!

As Kiro said this, he gave Savin a saluting gesture.

I can’t help but laugh, and my nervousness eased slightly along the way. He took off his mask and let out a long breath.

Kiro: Then I'll change clothes first, see you soon!

MC: Okay!

Taking advantage of Kiro’s time to change, I got hot water in the meantime. After he came out of the dressing room, I put a cup of tea in his hand.

Kiro: This is..

MC: Although you say that you’ll be strong, your voice may not necessarily listen to you.

Kiro laughed after hearing my mumble.

Kiro: Maybe I can find new ways to sing and develop new songs after losing my voice…

MC: Don’t even think about it. I don’t want to have a broken voiced Kiro.

I glared at him pretending to be angry, and Kiro’s mouth was tangled, but he obediently took the glass in my hand and drank it.

MC: And along with that, you also need this.

I took out a box of lozenges from my bag and poured one into his hand.

MC: This, you should have one. Some time ago, I had countless experiences, and I depended on them to continue in life, otherwise I might be the inexperienced one today.

Kiro: Were you that busy some time ago?

MC: Yes, the company had to expand its enrollment again, and I saw countless scenarios again, I always felt like I was busy.

Kiro: But when I called you the day before yesterday, you said that you weren’t busy. Miss potato chips, this is being a bad head of staff, obviously you’re still better than me.

He stretched out his voice and “condemned” me. I quickly raised my hands and surrendered, turning the subject away.

MC: Okay, I was wrong anyway… You eat the lozenges first!

Kiro: You’ve got yourself a deal.

He put the candy in his mouth, his cheeks bulging like a hampster.

Kiro: This is also my favourite flavour!

For this big show, Kiro will sing two songs, one is the opening song and the other is the middle warm-up. The two songs are in a different pitch and style. Perhaps thanks to the lozenges, Kiro was in a very stable state during the afternoon rehearsal.

He even has the extra energy to discuss with the director how to integrate into the catwalk better and how to present a more gorgeous stage presence. He still looks energetic and he doesn’t have the appearance of someone performing while sick.

Until the end of the first song of the formal performance in the evening, while preparing for the second warm-up song, I took his temperature again. But, the results this time had me shocked.

Looking at the abnormal value on the thermometer, my heart was pounding, and I couldn’t help but call out to him.

MC: Kiro, you, how are you?

Kiro: Hmm? I’m fine.

His eyes were slightly out of focus. He raised his attention after hearing my question, but his reaction was obviously slower than usual. My worry fell into his sapphire eyes clearly, and he blinked.

Kiro: Is ___ worried about me?

MC: I’ve been worried about how you’re doing!

I handed him the anti-fever medication, and watched him drink the water in the cup without leaving a single drop. I couldn’t help but whisper,

MC: You promised you wouldn’t overwork yourself.

Kiro: You also promised to believe in me. Don’t worry, although I can’t play a lively concert for three hours, I can sing one more song!

He poses a few times like a superhero, but the makeup artist behind him pats his arms and signals for him not to move. Kiro stuck out his tongue, and suddenly seemed to think of something.

Kiro: By the way, can Miss potato chips give me another lozenge? I want to clear my throat again.

Kiro, who couldn’t move, opened his mouth to me confidently. But the cunning blue eyes obviously expose his intent -- it was deliberate. I reluctantly took out the bag and delivered the throat lozenge to his mouth. Kiro quickly took it away with his teeth, but accidentally rubbed away the lipstick on his mouth.

MC: Oops, the makeup is a little smudged! Don’t move and I’ll wipe it away for you….

As I said this, I quickly stretched out my hand, wanting to erase the blemish. Kiro’s face was so close that I could tell, the concealer perfectly covered his illness, and the foundation hid his weakness. In order to fit the stage makeup ordered by the big show, his already stunning face was carved into an even more beautiful face, and almost all signs of exhaustion were cut off.

Only when my fingertips touch his lips can I clearly feel his warm breath. It is as vivid as ever. I carefully erased that little flaw, and with satisfaction looked back at it.

MC: Alright, the prosperous beauty Kiro Zhou, you’re freshly baked!

Kiro looked at himself in the makeup mirror and raised his eyebrows.

Kiro: How many people do you think can handle being charmed by such a beautiful Kiro in one time?

MC: You’ve fascinated everyone in the city in a radius of about 500 miles!

The staff all around laughed at this sentence, and Kiro’s eyes flashed lightly, as if to say something, but in the end he didn’t speak. The staff came and knocked on the door to the dressing room, indicating that the next runway show was about to begin.

I finally adjust the decorations on his clothes, but I can’t help but say a few more words.

MC: If you feel uncomfortable in your throat, don’t force anything. You can do a lower tone. I believe in you as long as you try your best in your current state.

I spoke very firmly and honestly, and I knew he would understand what I meant.

Kiro: That… Miss potato chips, please come and cheer for me.

He opened his hands to me calmly, and I took into account the look he had just taken care of, and just wanted to give him a hug. In the next second, his powerful palm is placed on my back and I’ve received a full hug.

MC: Ki--

Kiro’s heavy head rested on my shoulder, and his hot breath brushed my ears, making my heart thump loudly.

Kiro: I don’t need the attention of everyone within 500 miles, as long as you watch me.

His voice is very soft, but it made my heart beat violently in my chest.

Kiro let go of me and raised his hand towards me, only to have me realise that at some point the box of lozenges were in his hand.

Kiro: This is my lucky item today, let it accompany me on stage!

After speaking, he put the sugar in his pocket, and amidst the sound of music and grand applause, he walked towards the runway. The prelude sounded, and the light followed him with his slowly moving footsteps. When Kiro hummed the first note, I had no choice but to pay attention like the others, completely immersed in his musical world.

He didn’t drop or change the key, but his slightly hoarse voice gave the old song a new charm. Models now wore new costumes of varying styles, passing by him like flowing water. It’s like countless planets orbiting the stars, and Kiro is the brightest one in the universe called the stage. At any time, it’s obvious that I’ll be pulled in by the gravity of Kiro.

The big show ended smoothly with a round of applause.

I just wanted to go to Kiro, but I met a media party who I had cooperated with before and had to accept a short interview offer. When I finally got out, I happened to see the most eye-catching figure in the crowd.

MC: Kiro!

Kiro was surrounded by models, and though he turned his head back to me, he didn’t seem to hear my call.  The models finished taking a photo with him, watched him eagerly, and handed a signature pen to him. After he finished signing, the group still didn’t leave, but asked something of him yet again.  

I hesitated, and when I didn’t know whether to call him again, Kiro seemed to sense something and turned to me. The moment he saw me, his eyes lit up and he waved at me. As I walked over, Kiro pointed to his throat innocently.

Kiro: I’m uncomfortable, ___, please come and be my translator.

Hearing his voice muffled, my heart immediately dropped.

MC: What do you want me to say?

He came close to my ear and whispered something.

Kiro: The casting of the new music video…

I suddenly realised.

MC: They want to fight for roles?!

Kiro: Now that they’ve seen the menacing male protagonist, of course they want to create an opportunity for themselves.

MC: I understand.

I smiled and expressed my gratitude to the models for their love of Kiro, and then I changed the topic and said to them in a more business-like tone:

MC: Kiro needs rest now. As for work, please ask your agent to get into contact with his. Besides, it’s not a matter if casting so much as it is something that can’t be settled in a short time

The models glanced at each other and were too embarrassed to interrupt, apologised to both of us, and left. After they were far away, I heard a light laugh from behind me.

Kiro: ...It seems that this trick is quite useful.

His voice clung to my ears with the fresh scent of candy on his breath, his words clear. I reacted instantly.

MC: So your voice isn’t hoarse at all!

Kiro: Shhh, keep your voice down! It’s hard enough to get everyone to leave, do you want them to come back? And with my “boss” as my aid, they’re too embarrassed to come and chat with me.

I looked around and found that indeed no one was trying to come over and talk to him. Maybe Kiro had great acting skills, because even his eyes after the show were a little sympathetic.

MC: Well, that’s reasonable… but what are we going to do now?

Kiro: Didn’t you just say you were tired? Let’s find a place to rest!

After speaking, he hooked my finger and quietly led us out of the venue together. No one was in the dressing room, and Kiro finally let out a sigh of relief after closing the door. Under the iridescent lights, even with heavy makeup, you can still the fatigue in his eyes.

MC: Kiro, have you been holding on okay?

Kiro: No, that’s why I asked you for help.

Kiro nodded arrogantly and pulled me into the dressing table.

Kiro: cough! I'm dizzy, flushed and can't lift my hands anymore. could i please trouble ___ to remove my makeup?

He blinked as he spoke, and his pupils were so bright that I couldn’t find any reason to refuse.

MC: Then sit down, and I’ll look for something to remove the makeup.

I searched for makeup remover and cotton pads in the makeup cabinet, washed my hands, pushed my hair behind my ears, leaned down slightly, and motioned for Kiro to close his eyes. When he raised his head, the glitter and tich colours at the centre of his eyes were soaked in lotion -- revealing the original skin tone.

It was as if the most exquisite porcelain had been burnt for a moment, his fair complexion showing a strange flush. My heart tightened and I almost blurted out advice.

MC: Kiro, you really need to take a good rest… I’ll tell Savin to push back all of the work ahead of you.

Kiro: In fact, Savin has already promised to let me take a short vacation, so i estimate that you’ll receive word in a while.

MC: Fortunately, this time I’ll let him supervise your itinerary and put you at home for a good rest.

Kiro: Just rest?

MC: ..What else?

Kiro: Since getting a holiday is rare, it’s better to have a little fun.

MC: Interesting.

Kiro: Yes! I bought the limited edition of the game that was released last month, but I haven’t opened the packing yet; there’s also a particularly good looking comic that i’ve stocked up on, and this time i can catch up; and you can catch up on the new episode of my TV series that aired a few days ago!

He used his fingers to count every single activity he could so one by one, and I couldn’t help but rub the tip of his nose with the cotton pad.

MC: Then let the bag of lozenges and your cello also accompany you?

Kiro: That’s better! But well,.. This kind of vacation can only be regarded as substantial, and is a bit short of being “fun”.  It would be more interesting if the video game could be completed as a team; if a TV series and comic books can be consumed with someone to talk about them with, it will be more interesting. When cats tease dogs, I think they’ll eventually become friends.

Kiro opened his eyes, and my reflection was clear in his bright pupils.

Kiro: I think that would be “interesting”.

Kiro looked at me seriously and made a genuine invitation.

Kiro: So in the coming times, will Miss potato chips continue to be my “translator”?

Being watched by such a pair of gentle eyes, it is impossible for anyone to look away, let alone say a word of rejection. The interesting life he constructed is also the interesting life I've experienced.

MC: Ok.. the “translator” may not work around the clock, but I can come after I get off work and I can be your “fun explorer”.

When he heard the first half of the sentence, Kiro’s brows furrowed, but after I finished speaking, he smiled again.

Kiro: Then I have to listen carefully, what’s a “fun explorer”?

MC: The literal meaning is that I’ll do everything that you want to do with you.

Kiro: Really?

MC: Yes! But for the sake of your voice, this explorer will strictly supervise you during the vacation, and you aren’t allowed to eat any heavy sweets!

Kiro: Ah, why’s this? I still want to secretly have a snack party with you!

Kiro pretended to be frustrated and extended the ending sound of his words, but did not refuse my concerns.

Kiro: Then let’s promise, we’re now holiday partners!

He stretched out his hand and pressed my thumb to his. It seems to have stamped an agreement that spans time in my heart.