#i am ruined

[gatorgrumbles]

More Monty cause I’m spiraling

[snowwgravve]

oh mel what are we to do

[carolcarebear]

I’m on my reread of Iron Flame, and I cannot get over how Rebecca Yarros will find subtle ways to break your heart.

In the epigraph of Chapter 16, a recovered letter from Xaden to Violet reads: “My dad hoped I’d go into the infantry like he did. He thought riders were pompous pricks, and in his defense… we really are.”

Infantry uniforms? Navy blue. Sgaeyl? Navy blue.

Me? In my feelings about this man bonding a dragon that represents the path he never got to choose and the life he never got to live, but is exactly where he’s meant to be.

For some reason this ruined me. I’ll never recover from how beautifully cruel this is 🫠

[ruinme-please]

iii blessing us with another bass cam footage:

"Granite, live from Melbourne. 

Adelaide. Do you need more?"

[lavonq]

Help

[lio-thymos]

Destroyed me

[cavillanche]

[peachdues]

no one talk to me about that scene when Penelope touches Colin’s face in the carriage and he looks ready to BEG —

[lavendernlilac]

Ough, one of them reacting to a random comment or visual that triggers them for the first time and the other doing their absolute best to help without even knowing why there’s an issue. Then them sitting down in the apartment after and taking time to discuss why and what happened, how to help, and building plans to help each other incase this happens again.

The only one that really breaks down during any intimacy is Grian, usually when she has had a rough day(and potentially overheard some unfortunate comments) and isn’t really taking in Scars compliments and sweet words as well as usual. She’s overwhelmed and Scar stops to get her to settle back down, to get her to breathe. They don’t continue, Scar just cleans them up and they watch some tv before going to bed.

Scar once has a reaction to someone dressed as a doctor on set of one of Griandes music videos or photo shoots and freezes up. He dissociates for a while and Grian notices his distance pretty quick, but can’t get to him until the end of the shoot. So she tries to get him in private the first available moment, tries to calm him down, and it works just enough for him to come back to awareness but be unsettled for the rest of the day until they can get back to the apartment. They have a long discussion and Scar ends up clinging to Grian all night, head buried in her neck as she just lets his hair quietly.

-bodypillow anon

EXPLODING INTO A MILLION TINY PIECES T-T

as we speak I'm actually planning out some fics right now and I want to have a fic where they both sit down at their own times and talk about their pasts <3 WAHHHHH the two of them sitting down and confiding in one another ;w; the show of trust and vulnerability....

grian would definitely be the one to break down during any intimacy yeah :( most of the time scar's kindness and praise is so nice and sweet but when she's had a rough day and that doubt is way too loud, it sits weirdly with her. there's almost a quiet beg for scar to stop lying and it breaks scar's heart :( or when he sees her so overwhelmed and nothing else matters to him except for getting her to breathe. he stops everything and has her look at him until he can just hold her and murmur that she's okay, over and over again

not only that but when they're trying out some more intense stuff, some of it is trial and error. they learn pretty quickly that grian likes giving up control to scar or when he's rough with her, and all of that is fine. she likes how her mind goes blank and she doesn't have to worry about who she should be, how she should be acting. it's easy when scar gives her directions to follow, when she's eager to make him feel good. but figuring out just how far to lean into it was the challenging bit

once or twice scar accidentally pushed a bit too much with mean dom act while trying to figure out their limits and grian didn't react well to it (scar felt like shit after). he cleaned them up, sat in a bubble bath with her, and held her so close to him, telling her how much he loves her, rattling off every bit of kindness and affection that came to mind. and they both wait until they're calmer to sit with each other and figure out what's a big no and what's okay

and of course outside of intimacy??? GOD. GOD. there are some days where grian can't look in the mirror. or she's quieter and missing her spark, extra sensitive to what people have to say to her or about her.

there's an interview she does--normally impulse and mumbo pre-approve any of the interviewer's questions, but there are moments where random ones are thrown out on the fly, where she's asked about her previous affiliation with that first producer (not many people know about that. impulse did everything he could to get the singles grian recorded there taken down), and grian is completely caught off guard by it

scar is of course there, and he sees how she's fighting a shut down but she's stammering and her voice is quieter and she's crossing her hands in her lap to hide how they're shaking... impulse and mumbo are right beside him and they both look like they want to get involved and scar does it before either of them can. he casually walks on set, plopping himself down right next to grian and jokes about feeling left out of the questions, puts the attention right on himself. grian subtly leans into his space some and lets herself shut down, disassociating through the rest of the interview

when it's finally over, mumbo is apologizing up and down because neither of them knew that would be asked, or how the interviewer knew and grian murmurs in answer. and it's killing scar that he can't do more for her right now :(

he's not able to get to her for a while, forced to watch her be spacey and visibly upset until they're back at the studio and grian is in her dressing room. scar quietly knocks on the door before coming in, siting down with her. the second he's sitting down grian is pressing her face into his shoulder, grabbing his hand and squeezing it

it's a rare night where they go back to scar's apartment--he's giving grian one of his shirts and she curls up with jellie. scar cooks something (grian's comfort food), and she clings to him for the rest of the night and they're quietly talking amongst themselves and scar waits until grian brings it up herself and starts talking. scar holds her the entire time, soothing her and wahhhhhh :<

impulse and mumbo personally scout out any producers who are interested in working with griande, and there's an incredibly small circle of producers who griande regularly works with (three of them). anyone new is practically grilled by her managers and skizz, and when hotguy joins the security staff????? I need you to imagine the city's beloved superhero, who's normally always cheerful and big smiles, sitting arms crossed, completely stone-faced (he takes grian's safety very seriously).

she gets really nervous when it comes time to release something new, or right before a performance. and when it's coming up on an album release she gets. so critical of herself and just. wough. there's so much I could go into with grian :(

and for scar... god. him seeing someone dressed as a doctor and grian notices that she doesn't see him around much. it's that gut instinct that she knows something is wrong, and when she sees the other person it clicks. the first second she gets to breathe she's looking for him

there's something really soft about her finding him with skizz... having kept an eye on scar because he noticed something was off. he doesn't ask any questions when grian finds them, just takes his leave and grian is guiding scar to sit down, asking if it's okay to touch him. sometimes scar answers, sometimes he doesn't. if he doesn't, she just sits next to him until he's softly calling her name. if he does answer, grian is taking his hand, putting it against her heartbeat so he can feel it, and help ground him :(

and she reaches him, asks him what he needs while rubbing her thumb in little circles on the back of his hand. sometimes he just needs the contact, or her voice, or silence. she doesn't make any movements for him until scar initiates it, pulling her in so he can press his ear against her chest, listening to her heartbeat. they don't get more than fifteen minutes like that, but it's enough to bring him back to awareness. he's unsettled and uncomfortable (and grian is quietly pulling the director aside asking to get everything with the lab coats recorded first before doing anything else)

when they get back to her apartment, grian makes sure the two of them eat (aka she orders delivery) and they sit on the couch together first with star wars playing, grian in scar's lap as he rests his head on her shoulder (he does make a little show of letting go of her so she can answer the door when the food comes, and: "scar, buddy, you're gonna have to let go of me if you want to eat" "but I'm so comfortable" "and you need to eat, it's important to take care of yourself" "not nearly as important as snuggling my girlfriend. it's actually higher than the need for food on the--mas-mah-malsow's hierarchy of needs" he lets go anyway)

they talk after eating, and scar skips patrol (grian convinces him to), staying over for the night. they crawl into bed and it's grian who reaches for him, pulling him into her. all she gets is scar's shaky breath while he tucks his face into her neck and she runs her fingers through his hair. she's still awake by the time scar falls asleep, feeling the need to watch over him, to make sure he's okay. he's been dealing with his pain so long all by himself; she never wants him to be alone ever again. she spends hours just laying there with scar in her arms, petting his hair, kissing his head, pressing her cheek against him. scar has never felt safer

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN LIKE.... I didn't mention it much, but scar has his moments where he gets nervous about cars--it doesn't happen as much anymore, but around the anniversary of the accident or once in a while he'll have a hard time with it and waugh.... sobbing and wailing over them

[itsjusteds]

The WAY SPY ANOTHER DAY DID ONE STEP AHEAD AUGH

I loved it. The acting choices felt fresh and yet still held true to the characters that we know and love. I love that Owen chose to be closer to Curt in some parts as a teasing thing because that petty wanker totally would

Curts little reach out to Owen, while it was short HOLDS SO MUCH MEANING. It shows that he wants Owen, he needs Owen back, but he can't have him. So for only a second he'll cave to that voice in his head that wants Owen back before remembering that this isn't his Owen. Not anymore.

"Feeling a lot of deja vu again" AND THEY DID THE ARM THING AUGH THE THING THAT SYMBOLIZES THEIR TRUST.

GOD JUST KISS ALREADY OMG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE THE AMOUNT OF HOMOEROTIC TENSION IS INSANE

[vorgothic]

Gods, this man. 💜

[zivverse]

slimecicle’s bg3 spoilers

thinking about the fact that xiv trusted their dad, they believed them and he betrayed them in the worst way possible

see, theres two possibilities here: xiv had an *idea*, or a hunch, that their dad was wrong, but had no way to conform that, or they blindly trusted him. and i dont know which one is worse???

because they’ve either proven that they were right all this time, or someone they trusted undoubtedly has done something like that to them

xiv is such a genuinely tragic character and i want to psychoanalyse them

[peppermintfury]

Am I just supposed to go about my week like normal after seeing these? 🥵

[calamitoustide]

anon you made me think of a fic idea with suicidal james and reg are you happy now?

[carrythatwayt]

✨️...clutch...✨️

25 hours, procreate, digital charcoal and pencil

[speeedyquick1245]

Does anyone else think about what Arthur first says to Merlin when he wakes up after the battle in 5x13? He could have said so many things:

Did we win the battle?

Is Morgana dead?

Where are we?

What happened to me? Where is everyone?

But the first thing he says is "Where have you been?"

All he wants in that moment is Merlin by his side. He doesn't want Merlin to ever leave him again. Arthur is king. He's always put duty first. He should be worried about the future of his kingdom and his men. But he's hurt and in pain, and seeing the person who's always been there for him makes him forget everything. With Merlin by his side, he's overcome all the challenges and darkest moments in his life. If Merlin is here then everything is alright. He can rest now. He just wants to be with the man he loves.