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agirlwholovesrockstars · 8 months ago

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𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖒𝖊 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑 𝖇𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖓𝖊𝖜

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓢𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷

"𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘦?"

彡 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 彡

✦ 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 | 𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎 ✦

𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞 : clear and blue skies, your family, your comrades, and you're with your lover, the horror from your kingdom has come to an end but will your mind be free from all the fury that's in your heart?

𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝕮𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙 : it taken me a month to finish this 💀 my bad

𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 : 18+ LostPrince!Knight!Eddie Munson x Princess!FEM!reader, cursing, reader and Eddie are both (21), trauma, reader having phobias, survivors guilt, slight allusions to su*cide, reader will be having a lot of struggles on this chapter, Henry & Jason will be mentioned! (I'm sorry), holding grudges, all of the characters will reoccur on this, not giving away any more spoilers but that's it!

𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖙 : ANGST and FLUFF, dark fantasy, romance, set in 17th century, no more upside down

��𝖔𝖙𝖊 𝕿𝖔 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 : omg, this whole other world that I made is slowly closing to an end! I'm so happy for the people who are still here and waiting for the next chapter, I'm so thankful like literally! I'm so grateful! 🥺🫶🏻✨

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊 : I ain't gonna suffer you guys no more from the angst! don't worry! I just felt it will be too easy when reader is like "okay" with everything that just happened you know?

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

"No!"

"Shh, it's okay, Y/N, I'm here"

"Eddie?"

"Yes, it's me"

"O-Oh no- I did it again, didn't I?"

"No, it's not your fault, sweetheart"

You embrace him very hardly to make sure you're not trapped inside of your nightmare

Another nightmare again

The terror, lost lives, your parents, your friends, the destruction of your land that almost crumbled down to never been seen again it has made you feel doubtful to believe that it won't ever happen again

Eddie knows that Henry and Jason spoiled your mind with such things that he wishes there's another way to fix this

He forever cursed them because they're the ones brought you trauma

They're the reason why you don't have a family anymore

They killed your father

The most mind-shattering of it all, they're also the ones who killed your mother

"E-Eddie, I am s-so sorry"

"Please, don't be sorry"

"I really thought I'm going to lose you"

"That was just a bad dream, it's over"

"Don't ever let me go? Please?"

"I won't"

It has been like this and you're so sick and tired of it

It has been like this, for over a week and you might afraid if it goes on and on for days, months and years

You know better

You know better that you must escape this box that Henry and Jason made you tie down to their hellish world

The sun beams, the wind swirls through the white fabric curtains from your balcony

Eddie inhales the sweet morning air as he slowly opens his eyes and it lands on you

It's the same exact position when your natural melatonin visits you at night finally made you sleep

Eddie is concerned about it, ever since, you haven't gotten a lot of sleep when you find out about the truth about him

And with your parents

He knows that you're having a good rest at how your features seems relaxed and your breathing is even

A small smile tugs to his lips that urges him to bring you in closer to his body as you let out a little sigh as you flushed down on his side

You're now laying on his chest as he wraps his arms around you as he runs his hands up and down on your lower back, you snuggle up to him once more and he felt like he wants to shut his eyes once again because at how so comforted you feel

He felt it too, you feel so much better once you're with him, even the moment he rescued you when you accidentally hurt yourself for hitting your head on the reunion happened before

God, the white chiffon dress he once given to you always stays on his mind

Eddie believes in you, you know can get out of that hellhole that is trying to pull you down from that light that you supposed to reach

"Eddie? Are you in there?"

The voice of his uncle snaps out of his thoughts as you stir from your slumber

"Uh- one moment, uncle"

He carefully places your head back on the soft pillows as he covers you with blanket, you went onto the other side as you given into a deep sleep again

He places a kiss on your cheek as you sigh in contentment, he gave you a one last look before he headed outside along with his robe as he ties it

"Hey, son"

"Morning, uncle"

The maid is already in there with breakfast as he nods to bring it over inside

Wayne caught a glimpse of you on the bed and he sighs of relief

"Is she getting improvements?"

"She'll get there, just give her time"

He nods in understanding, "I know, it isn't my place to say words like this but, uh, I was there, before, Eddie- someone else has got to start leading the kingdom run again, her people needs her"

Eddie purses his lips as he clears his throat "I know, Wayne, I know"

Tears starts prickling into the old man's lashes as he gives his nephew a tight nod

"The village is going swell, I-I can't believe I am able to witness this again" Wayne chuckles in delightful way as he exhales through his nose

He knows what exactly what he means by that after Jason brainwashed the whole town by his wretched evil lies

It's been ages since the Munson's are free to walk around your kingdom

Even Wayne is in disbelief that it felt like nothing happened

It felt too real

It feels scary too, it terrifies him because it felt like a dream

"I trust you my boy, I know you're the only one who can help her"

"Yeah" he murmurs as he looks down, he began to fidget with his rings

Wayne saw it, "What's is it?"

That's where the water gushed down to his eyes as he cries in front of his old man

Wayne gave him a hug as he pats his back

"I'm just so nervous, I hate it that she has to feel this way, I wish I could just snatch that pain away from her"

"Don't ever let that nasty thought slide through you, don't ever let it get into you, you will be okay and she will be okay"

"The both of you will be okay like I always pictured"

The sunlight shoots through your eyes and it made you shut your eyes close

You groan and started to stretch your whole body on the bed, you reach your arm out to the other side to find an empty space

You opened up your eyes and sit up and you saw your silver breakfast tray, you heard small muttering outside of the room

You recognized the voices, it's Eddie and Uncle Wayne

You released a heavy sigh, you know what they're talking about and it overwhelms you

You know it's your responsibility

You know it's your obligation

You can't just skip this and neglect your kingdom fall behind

You stand up and you slipped on your robe and went your way onto the small coffee table

You stirred your coffee and ate a piece of bread, you exhale through your nose when it soothes out every ache inside of your body

You never felt in peace ever since you fought together

Thinking about eating normally, it makes you agitated

So, you've never had a proper meal until now

"Good morning, sweetheart" he says softly as he slowly closes the door

Your mouth is full, so, you just looked at him and nod

"How are you feeling?" He watches you intently

You swallowed and take a sip of your coffee and took a deep breath

"I know what you just talked about outside" you say without looking at him as you continue to eat

Eddie licks his lips together as he takes a seat beside you

"Y/N, you know we cared about you"

You just continued to chew absentmindedly

Eddie doesn't want it to take it too far but someone has to struck you with your duties

"People are asking about you, Y/N, they wanted you to serve them"

You stopped at mid-chew as you swallowed as wiped the residue at the table napkin and throw it on the tray

"Am I not allowed to take a moment to let it absorb everything that happened weeks ago?"

"It's almost a month, Y/N"

"I'm aware"

"I know you're getting upset but I'm your partner and as a partner I should be telling you that this isn't right"

Even Eddie knows you're mourning and it will be the hardest for you but you needed this confrontation

"I am grieving, Eddie"

"Aren't we all?"

You stood up to that and began to glare at him

"It's different for you-"

"Y/N, all of us had lost someone-"

"My mother just vanquished right before my eyes and years later without me knowing that she got murdered by the same man and I can't just process that!" You yell at him as your angry tears starts to stream down your cheeks

Eddie clenches his jaw as he seethes through his teeth but his eyes easily soften when he noticed that you're trying not to cry

You let out a exasperated sigh, you stuttered some incoherent words as you try to control your breath

"So, don't tell me that we both have the same losses" you sniffle as you turn your back away from him

He sighs as he stares at your back, "Y/N- I"

"It will never ever make me understand that why are you still here"

You could hear the heavy footsteps as he walks around to face you "What?"

You looked at him with a pained expression that he can't read "Why are you here? Eddie?"

He tilts his head as he chuckles dryly "I cannot grasp on the point of what you're talking about, honey"

"Aren't you not getting tired of me?"

He takes a step foot back at your words as he furrows his brows "What on earth are you talking about?"

You brushed past over him as you went outside in the balcony you rest your hands on the edge of the railings and he follows you

"Are you questioning my love and devotion for you?"

You turn your head at him as your hot-headed demeanor starts to falter

"Is it not enough? Are you falling out of love from me?"

You can see that he's worried, it flashes on his eyes

"N-No- it's not"

He nods carefully as he tries to look at you in the eyes

"Y/N, look at me" he holds both of your forearms

"I can't never spend another life with a wrong soul, it is you that I want forever in my life, the one that I wanted to see whenever I wake up day, noon, night, midnight for all eternity"

You sobbed at his words once again

Right there, you just realized at how lucky you are

Not only he is betrothed to you because of your royalties lie

But also because that he is truly the one for you

No matter how hard you tried to push him away from your darkest hours

He will always be there for you

"Eddie, I need you to leave"

"What?"

"I needed to be alone"

"Y/N- don't be like this, please"

"I just want a time for myself-"

"Y/N"

"Eddie! Please let me be!" You exclaimed as you murmur a small "sorry"

Eddie frowns but still manage to give you a small smile, he begrudgingly let his hold fall from your forearms as he takes his leave from your chambers

"....How is she?..." Jeff asks nicely, the concern is there, Eddie can notice it

"She's taking her time" Eddie rubs his hands across his face

"Do you think it will help?"

"Help what?"

"I don't know..." Gareth trails off as he continues walking outside of your castle, "I feel....guilty for uh- being rough at her at first, you know?" He briefly looks at his friend as he ducks his head down

Eddie chuckles as he nudges his shoulder "I'm sure, Y/N, doesn't mind it"

"Even if she doesn't mind- I mean, If only I knew about her....personal life, well then I guess shouldn't acted that way"

"You've always been like that to anyone, Gareth"

He rolls his eyes, "Is it a bad idea that I want to apologize to her?

"and besides, I'm not like that anymore"

Eddie and Jeff raises both of their brows as Gareth looks back at them and he scoffed as he shook his head sideways

"I'm only like that when it's necessary" He points it out and he shrugs

"I don't know if it's because of the demogorgons made you changed your behavior but I'm glad that you're taking a step to improve your character" Eddie rests his palm on his shoulder as Gareth grows a smile on his lips

"Don't let it get into his head, man, it feeds his ego" Jeff jokingly said as Gareth elbows him on the stomach

"See?!?" Jeff gestures his friend silly actions

Eddie and Gareth laughed but it dies down when a frantic maid is worried about your state

"Sir, uh- Eddie"

"Yes?"

"it seems to be that Princess Y/N is not to be found everywhere"

"What?"

"She's not in her chambers, sire"

"But where could she be?"

"We looked everywhere-"

"Not even in the sanctuary room?"

"No, she's not there"

Jeff and Gareth open the big doors to enter your castle as Eddie commands the maid to look for you and asked the guards to start the search

"Wh-What in the world is happening here?" Enzo gulps in his flask as he asks one of the boys

"Y/N is missing" Jeff answers as he looks at Eddie in concern

"Eddie, don't worry, we will find her like we always do" Gareth reassures him as he pats his back

"I'll get, Wayne" Enzo nods at the boys as they began to move

"Enzo- I" Eddie breathes heavily as Enzo jogged towards to him

"We had an argument earlier and I think- maybe she-" Eddie eyes became blurry to his own tears as he tries to catch up with his breath

"No-No, don't think like that, we are here to help, Eddie"

"Ri-Right" Eddie sniffles as he straightens himself up

A million thoughts began to drill into his mind

Is it because of his choice of words?

Did he hurt you because of it?

Did you hate him?

He will forever loathe himself, if he founds you in a way that will scar him

A scar that can never be healed

Where would you go?

Did you run away from him?

Or your responsibilities?

"Dear sweet flower, life of a royalty can never be easy, there will be a lot of pressures and expectations from you"

"You will face enemies and betrayal, so, you must choose your people wisely"

"You will experience a lot of emotions and If only I could get you take away from all of it, from all of the grotesque things in the world"

"But that's not right on how to teach your child, Is it not? to keep you on locked doors of what it's like out there in the beyond"

"You have to learn how to survive and deal with the ugly and the beauty of the real world"

"You will feel sad, hurt, angry, but you will also feel happy, love, care"

"But that's how life works, right?"

"Show em' what you can do, how brave, bright, and mighty you are, but you also need to learn how to control your power and not get ahead of yourself when you're in the zone"

You try to remember your mother's words and it makes your heartache

You didn't even know that you're crying because not only you can recall her words that she said to you as a kid

But also you can still hear what her voice sound like

Every word from memory, it echoes into your mind and your heart

You run your fingertips on the wooden floors that your mom painted with variety of flowers

"I miss you so much, Mom" you cried out as you let all of the tears fall

You needed this

You have to get this out

You'll pour out all of the saddest elements inside of your body, mind, and soul

"Mom, if you're out there or here with me, I just want to let you know that I love you and please, forgive me that I haven't spoken about you and I'm so sorry for what happened to you, I don't know why am I saying this...." You weep horribly on the ground as you keep looking with a sad smile on your face

There's a one painting of a rose that is a little bit smudged out

You chuckle lightly as the memory reels into your mind, "Remember this? Mom? I was so upset that I messed it up but you let me calm down because you said sometimes messy can be beautiful and it doesn't always have to be perfect"

You chuckle yet again as you nod along with the memory

"Your words didn't die, it lives within me"

"You remind me that being a royal is a duty and it's our purpose to run a kingdom that is safer and humane"

"It is not about the crowns and being wealthy"

"We are not different like them, we are the same as one and we always be equal to who we are"

You wiped your tears as you incredulously laugh for a bit "That's why Henry and Jason hated you, Mom"

"Dad, continued just like the way you wanted it"

"Any sign of her yet?" Eddie pants as he rests his palms over his knees as they both reunited in the middle on the hallway inside of your castle

"No" Gareth shakes his head as he leans against the wall

"Do you have any specific places that you both hang out that only the two of you know about it?"

"No, I already went there and she's not there in the pavilion" he replies as he wipes the perspiration on his forehead

"I heard about what happened" Wayne approaches him along with Enzo

"Oh, Uncle Wayne-" he cuts him off

"Don't apologize, I'm sure she didn't even mean the words that she thrown at you"

"Did you check every inch of the place?" Enzo asks the two boys who looked wasted as they catch their breath

"Yeah, man, we've been through everywhere and we even ask anyone" Jeff answers as he exhales

"Now, I'm getting rattled by this, no one has ever seen her since-" Enzo as he takes a swig from his flask

"After we argued" Eddie finishes off the sentence as he guilty nods and shrugs

"Don't fret, I think I know where could she might be" Wayne holds his nephew by his shoulders

Jeff, Gareth, Enzo looked over at Wayne

"Tell me!"

Eddie ran and ran as fast as his feet could do

He went around the corner and went running forward at the direction where it leads to you

He avoids his brain formulating of the picture of you that he is haunted by it

He doesn't want that, he doesn't want to see it, he wishes that it will never happen

His lungs might be begging for a rest but this isn't what he needs to do

Your life and your existence is his priority at the moment

He won't rest until he sees you okay and well

His eyes hurt by the tears that he continues to stop from falling

He grunts and almost trips and knocks over a couple of vases for trying to look for you

His voice cracked up as he calls for your name

"Y/N?!?"

You turn your head around at the face and you're sitting down on the ground at the center of your parents garden

You couldn't even processed that it's Eddie running over to you as he goes down onto his knees as he pulls you through him

He didn't even double think of holding you and embracing you into his arms

You're confused about why he is acting this way and you noticed that he just cried not too long ago

He pulls you back as he starts cradling both of your cheeks, he studies every single expression on your face, he inspects every part of your body

"E-Eddie- what?"

"Please! Don't ever do that again!" He grabs both of your forearms as you get startled by the raising tone of his voice as he muttered "sorry"

He inhales as he clears his throat and steadying his breath

"I-I thought you've done something to yourself" He weeps in front of you and now you finally understand why he is so perturbed

"Oh...Eddie" your eyes became glossy as you hug him again as you run your hand up and down on his back

"Is it something that I said?" He whispers as he sniffles

"No-no, it's not, Eddie- I just needed to clear up my mind" you said not letting go of him just yet

He caresses your hair as he breathes through the crook of your neck

"I-I'm relieved to see that you're fine"

"Eddie, you know I would never do a thing like that and I'm sorry for making you distressed"

"Just please, tell me where you we're going, if you want to be alone, okay? Sweetheart?"

"Okay"

"Eddie, it's time" Enzo opens the door as he awaits for him

"Yeah, I'll be there" He says as he fixes his linen shirt, he sees you in the reflection his eyes softens

You're taking a sip of your coffee as you read your favorite fantasy book in the balcony

"Y/N"

"Yeah?" You looked at him and you blushed "You look very dashing, Eddie" you smile sheepishly

He grins as he leans down on you wraps his arms around you behind your back as he rests his head over your shoulder

"You don't have to go if you really don't want to, no pressure" He whispers as he kisses your neck, you nod as you think about it

You're feeling a whole lot better after those dreadful weeks

You didn't get the same nightmares you had before

You're slept well, you've been eating gladly, yes, sometimes, you get so blue but it's also bittersweet that this is progress

You're finally moving forward and you will never looked back at the past ever again

You won't forget those people who chose their life in danger for your own sake

They chose you because your own people and your friends believe in you

You won't waste their sacrifices, you're going to make it last

You won't let them down, life has made you rough and mature but you didn't never lose yourself

"Eddie?"

"Yes?"

"You might be late"

"Right"

"You know Wayne didn't like tardiness" you chuckle as he snorted

"Yeah, I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay"

He places a quick kiss on your lips as he hold your cheek for a moment before he leaves

You placed down your book on the table as you deeply sighs as you stare at the sky and you let winds of change move you

You inhale the sweet morning smell of fresh air and flowers blooming through your corridor

And then.... that's where it got you

You know what exactly what your father told you on what you should do in the future

This is the future

You pull down the ring from your bedside

"Yes, your grace?" The maid walked in as she saw you standing in front of your vanity

"Can you help me with the gown that I'm going to wear this morning?"

The maid didn't even hide the knowing smile on her face as you gave her back the same gesture, she nods happily as she helps you get ready

"Is she not going to join us?" Enzo asks as he combs through his hair

"Events like this- it's nerve-wracking- I don't blame her for not going" Eddie says as he straightens himself up

"Boys, don't ruffle your linen shirts like that" Wayne spoke and walks over to them but stops abruptly as he tuts at their attire

Jeff and Gareth looked at their clothes as they dart their eyes on Eddie

"It should be something like my nephew over there" he points it out and gave a tight nod to him

Eddie smiled proudly at himself "Well done, son"

"Like a true prince" Enzo jokes, as Eddie chortled

"Yeah, yeah, alright- alright we're going to fix it" Gareth flips them both off as he brings the ruffles back inside of his vest

"Like how are we supposed to know the right way to wear this" Gareth adds as he struggles to make it right

"And he said that he wasn't like that anymore" Jeff mocks him some of his words before

Enzo and Eddie laughed as they left an overdramatic Gareth behind as he jogged to them

"Good day, everyone, Thank you for joining us in this coronation day" Wayne greeted the whole town

Eddie glanced at the crown that is meant for him but he stares longer at the one who is still in the case

He knows that one it's meant for you

"My dear boy, Edward Munson is going to be the town's king"

Eddie gulped, he wishes that you're here as his knee bopped up and down in an anxious way

"Miss Y/N, our princess won't-" Wayne cuts off at the townspeople clamoring about something else

"Look, it's the princess!" One of the kids points a finger at you

Enzo, Jeff and Gareth stood up and is very delighted to see you

Eddie slowly gets up and it's enamored by your presence

Both of your eyes meet and locked in as he saw something about you

You may be not the same girl as you was before but what can see is a true woman

A woman that is ready to fill in the shoes that it needs

Not a princess, not about being a royalty

It's the real you that he sees, he knows that you've never lost it

He nods as he began to start clapping, Enzo, Jeff and Gareth and even Wayne is an awe as they also clap their hands

The rest of the crowd begins to applause as well

You're touched at how they cheer for you

They open up the case, you curtsey as you lean down forward your head as you looked up to Wayne who is about to place the crown on you

He looked at your eyes directly, he smiles that he can also see it too at this gratifying moment

Eddie goes beside you didn't even need to look at your side because you already know who it is and both of you automatically laced your hands together

You wave at them happily

"Eddie?"

"Yeah, darling?"

"How will I ever repay for you having faith in me?" You say as you step closer to him

He blinks the tears away from his eyes as he tightens his hold on you

"You don't have to do anything because I will forever remain at your side" He says as he kisses your hand

You brightly smile at him as you looked behind your back

You see Jeff whoops both of your names in celebration, Gareth jumping up and down in excitement and Enzo wincing how loud the two are but a fond smile sitting on his face, you laughed at the sight of it

You watched Wayne placed the crown on Eddie as the crowd roars and screams in victory

"Hawkins, you have your King and Queen!" Wayne announces as you both gathered around him in a tight hug

"Y/N?"

"Yes, Dad?"

"What will you do if you found your other half in life and that person will be your partner?"

"Never leave them, always encourage them to be the best version of themselves, the unwavering trust and be on their side through ups and downs"

"That's my girl!"

"You know what you're going to do?"

"it's only getting started, Dad"

#Spotify #eddie munson #eddie munson x fem! reader #eddie munson series #eddie munson supremacy #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson x y/n #agirlwholovesrockstarsfics

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rugtopper · 1 year ago

Text

Confessions of a Fetish Barber: Part II

Confessions On the Road From Vegas to Tahoe

By Rugtopper

"Come on, Danny. I'd like to get to Richard's place in time for dinner."

Danny locked up Adonis Hair Replacement Salon, and got into the huge SUV. He leaned over and kissed Sam on the check before he put the key in the ignition.

"You know, Danny, I'm glad you decided to wear that light brown hairpiece of mine. It looks so good on you," said Sam as he returned Danny's kiss.

"Do you think so? I thought it might be too light, but I like it," confessed Danny. "Now, tell me about everyone I'm going to meet at this memorial service."

"You just concentrate on the road, Danny. I will make sure you know everything you need to know before we get to the memorial service."

"Why is there not a funeral?"

"It was part of Ian's last wishes. He had suffered for so long with lung cancer. After it spread to his bones, he just gave up."

"I understand. Will Troy and Sean be there?"

"No. They have rented a chalet in Liechtenstein for a month. They are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"That's right. They had the most beautiful wedding ceremony in front of the fountains at The Bellagio. Although, it was a bit bizarre."

" What do you mean, bizarre? It was gorgeous."

"I only meant it was bizarre because I have never seen so many men with hairpieces in one place. Well, except for that time you took me to that stylist convention in Phoenix. Talk about wall to wall carpeting."

"That was a unique event. Anyway, Troy never knew Ian, and he has never met Richard. Sean only met Ian once just before he and Richard moved to Lake Tahoe. I'm afraid there won't be a lot of people at the memorial service. Ian was 89 years old. He outlived so many people from his days in Hollywood and in Los Vegas."

"I didn't know Ian was a big star, Sam."

"He wasn't, Danny. Ian Stuart was the last of the old Hollywood chorus boys. He started out as a dancer during the heyday of the big movie musicals at MGM. He lied about his age. He was six feet tall when he was 16. When the movie musical genre started dying in the early 1970s, Ian was hired to choreograph shows in Los Vegas. That's when I met him through my dad. Ian always wore a very dark brown toupee."

"How did he and Richard meet?"

"It will sound like something out of a romance novel, but Richard orchestrated the whole thing. Richard auditioned for one of Ian's shows, and then started dating him. They were together for over 50 years."

"Well, how old is Richard?"

"To tell the truth, I have no idea. I know he's older than I am, but that's about it. Richard won't talk about his age. He won't talk about his hair, which is funny because he has worn a champagne-colored rug for years. But, he will talk."

"Huh?"

"Richard is the biggest gossip you will ever meet. Do not tell him anything you wouldn't want to hear a stranger repeat a few hours later at a dinner party! He will quiz you wanting to know everything about yourself. The thing is, he genuinely does care. He just feels he has to share everything he has been told."

"I don't want him to know how we met. Will he ask about my hair?"

"You can count on it. He is almost as obsessed with hairpieces as Howard is. Still, Richard is harmless. Look Danny, you do what is comfortable for you. If you don't want to tell Richard how we met, that is fine with me."

"It's been 15 years, I know, but it still bothers me."

"Look Danny, you were drugged, kidnapped, and tortured. It was awful, but I love you."

"I know Sam. I know, and I love you, too."

"When you say that, I still look around to see if you're really talking to me."

"What do you mean, Sam?"

"Well, come on Danny. That guy who drugged you at that bar and took you back to his place. He hung you upside down with the top of your head in a bucket of turpentine burning the top of your scalp while he raped you. If that undercover cop hadn't followed you from the bar and shot that bastard before he cut off your . . ."

"Don't Sam."

"I'm sorry, Danny."

"It was so frightening."

"I know, honey. I know. What I don't understand is why you fell in love with me instead of that hunk of a cop who saved you."

Danny started crying.

"Oh, honey. Now what?"

"Oh, Sam, don't you know? That cop was a narcissistic little prick who blamed me for the whole thing. He said that I led that guy on in the bar. I fell in love with you, Sam, because not only did you make me look beautiful by giving me hair, but you made me feel beautiful."

"Now I'm going to cry."

"Enough of that Sam. Now, who else is going to be there that I need to know about?"

"The only other people Richard has invited to stay at the villa is Butch and Buddy. They are similar to us as far as age difference, but their relationship is different. I don't really know the complete story. As best I understand, Butch adopted Buddy when he was either 16 or 17 years old. The only thing Butch would tell me was that Buddy had been abused by his foster parents."

"Well, doesn't Richard know? You said he was a gossip."

"No. Apparently, years ago when Richard and Ian invited Butch and Buddy to come skiing, Richard tried to get the story out of Buddy. Butch had a very short, but effective word with Richard. Since then, Richard doesn't say much to Buddy."

"How do they know Ian and Richard?"

"Butch was a security guard at one of the casinos when Ian first came to Vegas. He really hated it. He ended up being a truck driver based out of Boise. He picked up Buddy one night hitchhiking. I think it was the second time that Buddy had run away from his foster family. That is really all I know."

"You mean, nothing about hair, or other body descriptions. Come on, Sam."

"Okay. Okay. Butch is built like a fire hydrant, and is a little polar bear. You'll find this funny. He and I have the exact same wig. When I started wearing a white wig, Buddy wanted one exactly like it. Buddy wears a hairpiece that is similar in style to Butch's, but in a dark ash blond. Buddy is a little taller than Butch and has a bodybuilder's physique. In fact, modeling paid for every bit of his education. He just finished defending his dissertation for his doctorate in child psychology."

"I hope that covers it because I think we are almost there."

"It does. Everything will be fine. The memorial will be lovely. We'll eat too much, and then we'll go home."

To be continued in another installment based upon audience response.

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thestobingirlie · 1 year ago

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i've been reading this fic for a while that's handling the s2 cheating so strangely. like, it's flat out acknowledged as cheating and jonathan tells steve what happened at murray's. steve just kind of swallows down his reaction then never talks about it again which imo doesn't align at all w his previous behavior but if it was further addressed later i wouldn't mind that much. then, nancy (and jonathan as her doormat) keep forcing steve to spend time w them even tho he's clearly uncomfortable; steve also doesn't say anything about this even tho, in the situations shown, he would have no reason to be willing to force down his feelings about this. then eddie (this is set immediately post s2 btw and makes steddie friends for unrelated plot reasons) is like "she cheated on you, that's fucked up, why are you still friends w her" and steve says it's complicated bc of the upside down but nothing to do w the upside down is happening at this point to make steve willing to look past this. this is also made further annoying by a scene of eddie and wayne talking where wayne outright says eddie seems more bothered by the cheating than steve which ???? this all keeps going until nancy ends up apologizing for hurting steve w the bullshit speech and w/e but not for the cheating or the lying by omission which led to jonathan telling steve instead of her? as in the cheating is not mentioned at all in the scene. then stoncy are all besties. like it makes no fucking sense to me. steve should be absolutely furious for like 15 different reasons at this point. like nancy cheated on him, lied to him about it by omission, put the onus of the breakup on him in the process, just let him say all that stuff about being a shitty boyfriend (tho she did apologize for that specifically and said he wasn't), forced him to interact w her and her new boyfriend she cheated with despite steve clearly being uncomfortable, and potentially just let jonathan be the one to tell steve about the cheating w no comment or acknowledgement. it's unclear whether nancy knows jonathan told steve. but steve just does not get to be angry or feel any type of way about any of this, forgives nancy after one conversation that barely touched on any of that, and is now completely comfortable being friends w jancy. anybody would be Going Through It atp but esp steve considering his canonical issues w infidelity like wtf. then i feel like all of this is made worse by the purposeful juxtaposition w eddie's reaction which is heavily implied to be bc he's jealous since he has a crush on steve, as opposed to him possessing baseline empathy for other human beings. it's just so baffling but i am unfortunately invested in the main plot of this fic so i just keep suffering. sorry this got so long it is just so confusing to me.

people are so weird about the cheating. some of it comes from the person writing preferring j/ncy, and so not wanting to acknowledge it. and then i think some of it comes from people just not wanting to… shit all over jonathan and nancy? they don’t really know how to fully recognise that the cheating was bad without totally vilifying jonathan and nancy.

i think fics like you’re talking about are also influenced by the way steve’s depicted as a total doormat within the fandom. people just don’t know how to write him standing up for himself, putting himself first, and not needing someone else to fight his battles.

this is obviously just my opinion, but i fully believe neither steve or nancy spoke, like, at all post s2. steve because he was heartbroken, and nancy because it was fucking awkward! and she’s not gonna put herself through that lmao. so i always find it… idk, maybe a little ooc when people have them immediately jump to spending time together post s2.

i think with eddie, people want to push the romance as quickly as possible, so any empathy or anything he feels for steve is obviously being influenced by his feelings. so, you end up with stuff like the fic you’re talking about, where eddie only seems to feel bad for steve because he wants to date him.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #anti jancy #stranger things #asks #anon #st fic critiques

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othercat2 · 2 years ago

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Random Squealing about Birchbow's Price of Forgiveness

The most recent chapter is an intermission involving "What are the other ten trolls doing while Gamzee and Karkat are in a romance/drama?" The answer to the question is "catastrophizing up a storm as they find out Karkat regularly interacts with the Grand Highblood." A gossip chain that slowly grows more tangled as Birchbow throws in miscommunication after misinterpretation until there is a morass of panic over the situation the gossipers have invented. (This is particularly ironic as the previous two chapters involved information security and the culmination of a side plot for one of the original characters that ALSO involved information security, though in the sense that the character is an interrogation/investigation specialist.)

What's particularly fun is the way Birchbow handles the interpretation of information. For the trolls higher up the spectrum (except for Feferi, who seems to actually have some awareness of privilege, but makes her own incorrect assumptions/interpretations of Karkat's position) the situation is more "oh god it must suck having to work with GHB." For those lower on the hemospectrum, it becomes "Karkat is being sent to GHB for punishment." Then you have Gamzee talking about his matesprit, who happens to be the GHB, which hits much differently for a lowblood, who is going to assume coercion than for a highblood who is going to assume who the fuck knows.

So, based on incomplete information from Aradia and misinterpreted information received by Tavros, the lowblood trolls panic at the midblood trolls, who in turn start to panic while attempting to figure out from Karkat what the fuck is going on. (Karkat, blissfully ignorant and wondering why his goddamn phone is blowing up in the middle of a mission.) The trolls in general decide the following:

Gamzee has been brainwashed by the GHB and thinks he's the GHB's matesprit. But he's actually being tortured and chuckle-voodooed.

Karkat is being sent on suicide missions or missions that he will fail, so HIC and GHB will have an excuse to punish him. (He is also being tortured and chucklevoodooed.)

We are kind of lucky Gamzee didn't go into too much detail (a rarity) on the activities he gets up to with his matesprit, because they are "full on torturous." (GHB and Gamzee engage in extensive painplay scenes because GHB likes causing things pain and Gamzee likes painplay.) Because who knows what they would have thought/done. (Though it's only a matter of time.)

There's also some little asides that indicate that the other troll kids (well, troll adults at this point) have some kind of plan to "rescue" Karkat. I am trying to imagine how that's going to play out since Karkat has been doing some pretty amazing things in the position the empress gave him. (And apparently, Eridan couldn't be fucked to mention any of it, but he's a sea dweller and kind of an idiot, so.)

Taking that into consideration, all I can think of is Shards of Honor by Lois McMaster Bujold. That is, in Shards, Cordelia Naismith falls in love with Aral Vorkosigan, who was her enemy at the time. When she gets sent back home her mother and everyone talking to her decide that she must be suffering from Stockholm syndrome/has been brainwashed. So they try to have her committed and she has to escape her well-meaning mother and superiors, steal a ship and get back to Aral. (Because holy fuck this is bullshit.)

The only upside to this is that while Eridan did spill the beans on Karkat seeing the GHB on a regular basis, he did not mention that GHB and Karkat are kismeses. If/when they do find out, they're probably going to jump to a similar situation they invented for Gamzee. As it is, the troll kids very much want Eridan to find a way to rescue Karkat from the "dangerous situation."

I can't wait till this clusterfuck gets back to Karkat. He's going to have an aneurysm.

#birchbow #price of forgiveness #homestuck #meta about fan fic #this is so fucking funny

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billconrad · 27 days ago

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Spotting Bad Grammar

From an early age, writing proper English was a huge obstacle. Spelling, sentence structure, and crazy rules all messed with my young mind. Why did they make English so complex? Why don’t we write the way we speak? I had no idea.

The bad news was that English never got more straightforward, and even after college, I struggled. What did I do? I decided to become an author even though I knew my English foundation was made from dryer lint and bubble gum. Words now dominate my thoughts, and I endlessly toil over choosing the best ones. Side note: My readers would likely point out the vast need for improvement.

Since I began this unexpected journey, I have experienced a significant upside. My English improved. Really, it did. My spelling, speech, and grammar have all improved. I even think better. However, there was an unexpected downside. I now notice awful sentences everywhere. For example, the book Reamde by Neal Stephenson was loaded with glaring flaws. What the heck? He is one of my favorite authors and uses a top-notch editor. Apparently not.

This reminds me of a class of people I dislike. The grammar mongers. They endlessly complain about lousy grammar in advertisements, books, and movies. Why just this morning, I noticed the advertising slogan on a medical diagnostic company van, “Because doctor’s care.” While this sentence is mostly correct, it made me want to yell, “Who the heck asked this question? Doctors are supposed to care. It’s their job. You guys are not even doctors!” I would not have given that van a second glance two years ago.

In the afternoon, I read this sentence in a newspaper article, “Cost-conscious farmers are looking for bargains, and tractors from that era are well-built and totally functional, and aren’t as complicated or expensive to repair as more recent models that run on sophisticated software.” Do their tractors fuel up with run-on sentences? Are the editors for the Minnesota Star Tribune on strike? Is there a place to complain? Or boycott future articles?

Wait a minute. Who wrote that? This is Bill here. I am the undisputed king of run-on sentences. Did I somehow become that grammar hater? Have I switched sides? Is this going to be my new thing? “Stay tuned for epic bad grammar rants.”

Yeah, no. I have learned the hard way that long-winded rants into esoteric topics do not lead to “buy it now” clicks. Will I suffer in silence? Perhaps a future article will have my top ten lousy grammar finds. Will any of my sentences make the cut? I think we can count on that.

PS, March 04 is National Grammar Day.

You’re the best -Bill

December 14, 2024

Hey book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

#writing #grammar #life lessons

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quincywillows · 5 months ago

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Short n' Sweet n' Sound: Crafting a Narrative for SC6

My fellow Carpenters, where are y'all at?!

Now having had SNS for a few days (and thoroughly enjoying it), I thought I would share how I rearranged the album to give it a bit more of a coherent storyline. If you're a listener like me, you may also have been just a tad disappointed by the curation of the track list -- it's a collection of really enjoyable songs, not a bad one in the bunch, but it lacked the cohesive, strong emotional through-line that I thought really put EICS over the top.

So, using the pieces we had, I attempted to reframe the narrative into something slightly easier to follow. Disclaimer that obviously this is not Sab's vision and I respect her approach to the album, and also double disclaimer that in making up this narrative I am ignoring every single "real life" situation the lyrics may be referring to (which is how I prefer my pop music anyway).

So let's go! Here is my reimagined narrative for Short n' Sweet:

The Premise

To start, I wanted to focus in on the emotions portrayed throughout the album and find where I thought the "heart" of this witty, sometimes bombastic album was. That of course ends up being Sabrina, but I was thinking specifically about this character she has created in the music videos for this era -- this confident, clever, unapologetically chaotic woman who isn't afraid to mess with men for fun (and if a little bloodshed happens in the middle, well... oops?) I picture her tough as nails on the outside, little patience for BS, convinced she has it all figured out and that nothing will be able to get the best of her, because she's already worked to stay three steps ahead.

All of this gets flipped upside down -- and our album begins -- when fate, or the universe, or whatever you believe intervenes and drops a bomb on our independent, unflappable heroine: a man. No, no, THE man. A man unlike all the others she's tricked before, who actually sweeps her off her feet and -- God forbid -- makes her want to make him and her fall in love.

The Track List

Track 1 - Juno: So our album opens here, bright and sparkly and starry-eyed. I kind of view this song as our intro into the story as she's met this mystery man -- let's call him The Lover -- and suddenly she's feeling things she hasn't in a long time, or maybe ever. This dude has her daydreaming, fantasizing, thinking about these mundane things like romance and motherhood, concepts that are foreign and fascinating to her. She also is jumping the gun and fast-forwarding majorly, kind of suffering from love at first sight syndrome. The chemistry between these two hasn't truly ignited yet, but the heroine can feel it there, and that is both thrilling and terrifying. Maybe she can have it, and still come out in control. She's done it before. But is it worth the risk?

Who knows?

Track 2 - Bed Chem: There is, naturally, another motivator playing a role in the will-they-won't-they here -- hormones. And, as our heroine just confessed on the opening track, she is THIRSTY. It's that magnetic pull that despite her better instincts causes her to cave to their mutual attraction. She doesn't know much about The Lover just yet, but she does know they have sparks, and she wants to act on it. She's strong enough not to get too attached. A girl has to satisfy her needs, no?

Track 3 - Espresso: Thus, our heroine and The Lover have hooked up, and now are toying with the idea of being a "thing." Our heroine is at her highest peak of confidence here, as she feels she has this guy wrapped around her finger, and oh, doesn't he look so cute that way? This song chronicles the honeymoon phase of their new romance, empowering her by how she has this guy on the hook... but also lowering her defenses without realizing it. She has learned at this point that he has an ex -- one that "don't do it for ya" anymore -- but she's choosing to gloss over that fact with these silky smooth grooves.

However, this track serves as an early turning point, foreshadowing some of the very pitfalls she's going to confront in the coming tracks -- right now, she can't relate to desperation. Later...

Track 4 - Please Please Please: With that first turn, we also get our first glimpse of true vulnerability from the heroine with PPP. At this point, a few little orange flags are starting to pop up in the relationship with The Lover -- maybe he's getting a little vague with details on where he's hanging out late at night all of a sudden. Maybe our heroine's righthand gals have noticed he's been texting someone a lot, someone who isn't named "SC" in his phone. But whether she likes it or not, whether she realizes it or not, our heroine has fallen in love, and she's putting up a big confident front that she has it all under control. She doesn't want to hear the warnings of her loved ones; they just don't "get" The Lover the way she does. But this song cracks the glass a bit, betraying her internal insecurities -- both for her heart and her well-constructed persona and ego.

Please, please, please, don't prove 'em right...

Track 5 - Good Graces: Okay, so, that moment of authentic emotion was extremely embarrassing. Enough of that! Our heroine immediately turns the bad bitch confidence back on the instant it starts to seem like the trickling of bad news might be true, giving The Lover one last warning. He has the best thing he'll ever have right now with her, and he better cherish it, because she can turn on a dime so fast. She's done it before. Hasn't he heard about all those unfortunate players from "Feather?" No? Anyway, the message is clear -- it's simple, he just needs to stay in her good graces. An ultimatum will make him get back into shape, won't it? She isn't sure, she's never really done this actually-caring thing before...

Track 6 - Coincidence: Surprise! The rumors were true. The Lover wasn't over his ex -- the one she learned about during "Espresso," but chose to brush aside under the guise of arrogance and wishful manifesting. So The Lover has split, leaving our heroine to process her first real genuine heartbreak for the first time... but not before she stomps out the story to all of her friends in a self-righteous, sarcastic biting fury. The campfire style sing-along vibe here brings to mind a good vent gossip sesh with your girls, all of you trashing the no-good loser to support the scorned friend. That's where the heroine is at right now -- still somewhat in shock, rehashing the details to anyone who will listen as if it's ridiculous, nowhere near ready to process what actually happened.

Track 7 - Sharpest Tool: Once the cheerful choir of her friends has left, our heroine is left to process the heartbreak by herself for the first time on the record. She's starting to acknowledge some of the red flags about The Lover that were always there, but also getting glimmers of self-reflection in how she mishandled it -- how she bought his faux reassurances just like he bought her faux arrogance, how they never actually talked about the more complicated aspects of their romance. Another soft, fragile down tempo moment to showcase a true emotional beat for the heroine.

If that was casual, then I'm an idiot...

Track 8 - Taste: Okay, but forget all of that again, because it felt terrible. For one thing, the heroine has never done anything wrong in her life for the record (yes, including those maybe-potentially-no-longer-living-men), and this is obviously everyone else's fault. Anger is much, much easier to sit with and process (or rather not process), so that's what she's going to lean on for a while. She's over it... but, just remember, she had him for a moment and she's going to linger forever. And she's completely over it... but dang, doesn't she leave quite an impression! Sue her!

And singing 'bout it don't mean I care!!!

Track 9 - Dumb & Poetic: The anger is start to ebb, leaving nothing but the numbness and ache behind -- but first, our heroine needs to get her last digs out. The musical shift to acoustic down-tempo reflects that slow shift in mentality, transitioning from heat to hurt, but don't think that makes her tongue any less sharp. She unloads the clip of her disses towards The Lover on this final fiery track.

Track 10 - Don't Smile: Okay, screw it. She's sad. The heroine, ice queen, queen of playing boys like Nintendo, has been played. And the worst part is, she's pretty sure it wasn't even intentional. The Lover was too dumb, too earnest and impulsive, to even mean to have hurt her. Somehow, that's almost worse. She wasn't an intentional get -- she was just a moment in time. She was already there, but it doesn't matter, and that's what sucks. It sucks that she's being ripped apart at the seams over this, when she convinced herself the whole time she had it under control, and he truly seems to not give one damn about their (short) history. It's not fair. What's the point of love, anyway? How did she get into this mess?

Track 11 - Slim Pickins: At this point, even the mere prospect of love and romance feels exhausting. If even this perfect guy, The Lover, wasn't the right match, then what hope is there? The heck of it all is that the heroine still finds she wants more -- she wants to recreate that feeling she had back in the days of "Juno" and "Espresso." It feels impossible, like it will take a lifetime to find it, and she's going to be bitching and moaning the whole way there. Even so...

Track 12 - Lie To Girls: If our heroine got anything out of this whirlwind experience, it was a hard lesson. Yes, men suck... but she played herself, too. She ignored the warning signs, she glossed over the red flags until they were sticky and drenched. In protecting her own heart and trying to maintain her confident shell, she also let it go too far. She didn't get the insight and truth she needed before she fell in love. So maybe that's the takeaway -- that love is possible, potentially, but she needs to listen to herself better next time. Not just the hormones and "bed chem." That ardent defender she is for her girlfriends, her sisters and her mother and the girl outside the club getting her tarot cards read; she needs to be that protector for herself. Maybe if she does that, next time, things will be different.

Maybe. For now, our heroine just needs to sit with the hurt and take the time to heal, slowly but surely. Maybe this time, when the cracks became faded scars reinforced in gilded gold like kintsugi, she'll be a bit more steeled -- and ready to soften to truly sweet when the Right Lover truly comes along.

#sabrina carpenter #SC6 #short n sweet #music #**#my writing #everyone stream the album btw #Spotify

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multifandomingmess · 3 years ago

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How I Feel About Stranger Things Season 4 Vol 2

Beware, spoilers will be mentioned. If you do not want to read spoilers, do not proceed below the line. Thank you.

I'm going to be blunt. I was let down by the second volume. I pretty much loved the first volume but the second volume... All over the place. First off, SINCE WHEN WAS ELEVEN ABLE TO REVERSE DEATH? Max died but Eleven was able to reverse the death. Max IS in a coma but she's alive. If Eleven has always had this ability, so many people could've been saved, including Barbara, Bob, Billy, Alexei, Chrissy, etc.

Then, I understand Max's feelings towards Billy and that a part of her DID wanted him DEAD but I felt like they COMPLETELY recanted the letter from "Dear Billy" because there's no way that Max was faking those tears. There's no way that Max faked her emotions. There's no way that Max faked grieving. There's no way that Max was faking being su!c!dal. For example, when Vecna pretends to be Billy, we see him say as Billy, "And why, late at night, you have sometimes wished to follow me. Follow me into death. That is why I am here, Max. To end your suffering, once and for all."

Like, I understand, Billy is a terrible person and I am not defending that - however, he was abused. He still was abused by his father. He wasn't a former victim, he was still a victim of abuse. Obviously, I wish he didn't continue that cycle of abuse, but to me, if Steve can change his sexist and emotionally abusive ways - Billy could have, too. Billy was 17. He was still a kid. Everyone can grow. Then again, I tend to always think the positive in complex situations. That's a good and a bad thing.

Anyways, I also do not understand the hatred for metalheads that the Duffer brothers have. First, we lose Billy (if you do not like Billy, that's fine. Please do not make a comment because I do not want any fighting. You're valid.) and now Eddie?! I don't even think the Duffer Brother's realize how much hyperfixtations mean to people. A lot of neurodivergent people use comfort characters as a way to cope so this is going to be painful for a lot of people. It is painful. I cried like a baby. It made me think of July 2019, when I watched Billy sacrifice himself. Then, here we are, it's July 2022 and here we have Eddie sacrificing himself. It's ridiculous.

Also, I want to understand if the people who died from a creature of the upside-down (or anything related to it) actually die or if they go to the realm that Henry/001 went into.

The queerbaiting is full-force yet again. We heard all of those interviews and articles about how they planned to address his sexuality during this volume but all I saw was Will crying. I saw him lie and promote Mileven by saying El commissioned the painting. However, Mike knew that El said, "Will is painting something for someone he likes." and Mike didn't even acknowledge it. He didn't remember that letter because he was so caught up in this "romance" will Eleven. Like, I obviously don't think Mike has feelings for Will, but I would love to see an openly gay character on the show, besides Robin. I love to see the representation.

The lack of memories and flashbacks from Max's childhood also hurt me. Eleven was in Max's mind. Max was possessed by Vecna during this.

This part is very off-topic but this is about the whole Billy situation. Yes, the Duffer's wrote Billy's character to be racist, well specifically Ross. Matt didn't. They wanted Dacre to say the n-word. Dacre refused. Both Dacre and Caleb said that they never thought Billy's intentions were related to Lucas' race but because he has this urge to protect Max but it's not in a healthy way, obviously. It could relate to how he wasn't ever to help his mother as a child. The Duffer's also originally planned to make Steve r*pe Nancy in the pilot. This was confirmed by Joe Keery himself. So, these topics were brought up by the writers. Some people don't even know that the Duffer brother's are problematic. They have allegations of verbal abuse to female crew-members. They are very privileged. There are people on Reddit who pointed this out during BTS videos. Specifically, "Beyond Stranger Things"

Anyways, I prefer to respect the actor's version of their character. They're the ones who get into the mindset and head of the character. They know their character inside and out. Dacre was the one who was able to get more of a backstory for Billy in Season 3. So, yeah, I prefer the actor's perspective vs. the writers because some people don't realize how problematic the Duffer's are. Yes, they're talented writers but that is all. I'm sure they are kind and they may not be as bad as people make them out to be.

So, that's my personal thoughts about Volume 2. I liked it, I didn't hate it but there were lots of problems within the storyline. I'm not even sure how they're going to do a time jump with the current storyline of the town being split into four.

#stranger things #stranger things spoilers #stranger things 4 #stranger things 4 spoilers #spoilers #st spoilers #max mayfield #billy hargrove #eddie munson #byler #byler better be canon

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ragsweas · 4 years ago

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Hobbit Fic Rec List!

MODERN AU!

Hello! I always wanted to share a gigantic list of awesome works in Hobbit fanfic, but realized they are too many. So let's start small. A few modern AU that everybody has to read!

.......*.......

How to fall in love in 100 days by Kytanna

As their lives intertwine, Thorin, Bilbo, and their nephews learn the meaning of finding a family, love and the hard path towards healing. All, over the course of a hundred days.

A lovely piece with all the cuteness and fluff.

Softer Strokes by autisticalistair

Thorin is a well-known artist living a secluded life in the Swiss Alps. Bilbo is a former history professor living in a trauma rehabilitation centre after a devastating accident that took his parents lives. Through a mutual friend, Bilbo finds himself in Switzerland, and Thorin finds himself with company for the next few months, and neither of them are prepared for what that will bring.

I'll never say 'I love you' by JustReadingMaybeWriting

Bilbo is a veterinary student who one night saves the life a handsome but wounded man. Bilbo should have called an ambulance. If he had called an ambulance, he wouldn't be in this weird mess. He certainly wouldn't be falling in love with the man he saved, who can't seem to leave him alone.

This one's a bit dark, but I love it.

painted blind by nasri

The last time Bilbo stepped foot in Aberdeen it was with a broken heart and a bachelor’s degree. All things considered, this time isn’t so different.

Plan B by Drenagon

Plan B: an alternative strategy; a contingency plan, devised for an outcome other than the expected plan.

Or, sending an unqualified temp to act as Thorin Oakenshield's PA because no one qualified can put up with him.

(He'd say they can't meet his standards. Of course he would.)

Meet Bilbo Baggins. He just became Plan B.

One Modern!AU I always wanted to read and this is just it! It's amazing!! And the whole COmpany is there!!

A Land Far Away by Prollyaghost (Callmerin)

"If we were in a different time or place, this story may have begun with ‘once upon a time’, or even ‘In a hole in the ground, there lived…’ But as it so happens, we are in this time and place, in the outskirts of London, where there are no ‘once upon a times’ and the only holes in grounds lead to sewage tunnels. There does happen to be, however, a man who has dedicated a great deal of his life studying these ‘once upon a time’s. He is an English teacher, enjoys afternoon teas with homemade raisin scones, and he most certainly does not believe in fairy-tales.

His name is Bilbo Baggins, and that last bit about him is about to change."

Bilbo Baggins, an English teacher who has never been outside of England, suddenly finds himself thrust into an adventure when a strange man named Thorin Oakenshield requires his help to fulfil his father’s dying wish. Turns out studying the niche topic of the ancient, fictional society of dwarves was more useful than his parents could have imagined. Plunged into a forgotten land, Thorin and Bilbo must find the mythical Arkenstone, before the legends of the past come back to haunt modern society.

Okay, this one's a WIP, but damn the premise is super interesting and honestly can't wait for the next update!

Nothing Gold Can Stay by perkynurples

Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure?

This is one of the fics that does not need an introduction. No matter how many times you read this, it isn't enough. And we all love Fili and Kili here.

What to do When Your Cat is an Asshole by lily_winterwood

“You have a cat?” asks the face on the screen. “Yes. His name’s Smaug, he’s orange, and he’s an asshole. Aren’t you, Smaug?” Surly Food Provider glowers at me, which, of course, I am immune to. “Aren’t you a little asshole?” I don’t see why he needs to call me that. My butthole is perfectly licked, and it smells wonderful.

The AU where Smaug is Thorin's asshole cat. Written for the Bagginshield Unexpected Anniversary.

This one's small, and hilarious and even better if you imagine Benedryl Cucumbersnatch narrating the whole thing

No Ordinary Love by badskippy

Bilbo and Ori have been best friends since they were ten years old and tragedy brought them together. Now, a new job, a sudden rainstorm, a chance meeting and budding romance with a burly, handsome stranger will not only alter their lives, but set in motion events that will change everyone around them, and reveal how lies, deceit and assumptions can leave deeper scars than the ones that can be seen.

WIP, unfinished, but damn was this an interesting tale. For anybody who loves angst, go give it a read!

Remember Me by thehistorygeek

Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield are destined to suffer. In every life they live, in every age, in every era, they meet, and this meeting brings back all the memories of the lives that have come before. But every meeting serves also as a death sentence, for once they have met, one of them is doomed to die soon after, usually tragically and prematurely. They remember nothing of their past lives until they meet, and once they have there is nothing that can be done to stop their fate.

For anyone obsessed with Reincarnation and/or History, this is it.

A Remover of Obstacles by MistakenMagic

"Dis often chided her older brother for being a misanthropist. She did it so often it had become a term of endearment. It was true that Thorin struggled with people; he struggled to form and maintain relationships. Dr. Grey had diagnosed him with this and Thorin hadn’t the heart to tell him this wasn’t a symptom of his PTSD, it was a symptom of his personality. He exercised a sense of apathy with almost everyone he met… But Bilbo was different. Thorin actually found himself wanting to know more about him."

Another fic that DOES NOT need an introduction. I have read it thrice and every time the emotions are still the same. Trigger Warnings, but damn this is all worth it.

An Unexpected Meeting by what_am_i_even_doing_tho

This is the chronicling of the modern day shenanigans of Bilbo Baggins, who is an absolute gay disaster, and Thorin Oakenshield, who is unashamedly enamored. Aka, the modern Bagginshield AU that no one ever asked for but they're getting anyway.

green and gilded by nasri

The next time he visits his parents there are flowers left in the grass, pressed back against the gravestone. They are yellow and white daffodils, plain and wilting.

“Who’s been to see you?” He asks, taking a single photo of the flowers with their drooping stems and curled petals and the wet winter grass that surrounds them. His mother would call it kind, his father might say it's curious, and Bilbo takes another petal to tuck into his pocket.

You know those stories that you read once and then they never leave your head? And somehow your whole life begins to revolve around that one story? Yeah, this is it. Spoilers in tag and I would suggest you read before advancing cause many people do not like it, but even if you are not in that group, just give it a read. This story deserves all the reads.

Bran' New Suit by pibroch (littleblackdog)

Andrew's description had been sufficient to recognize him— a riot of honey brown curls, short in stature, a well-favoured face with expressive features— but it hadn't quite been enough to prepare Tom for the sharp, almost painful tug in his gut at the sight of the man. They had never met before, to the best of Tom's recollection, but there was something eerily and inexplicably familiar about him all the same.

One of the first Modern AU I read and dauym...you won't get it until the end but then...it's fun.

Under New Management by frostyjack

Fili's life is pretty good -- he's doing well at university, he gets on well with his uncle and guardian Thorin, and he's never likely to know what it's like to be poor or unwanted. Then Thorin takes in a foster child -- Kili Oakenshield, a long-lost relative whose past is a total mystery. Suddenly, Fili's life gets a whole lot more complicated. But maybe it gets better, too.

Lots of trigger warning for this one, but when the end comes, you'll know it's all been worth it.

One-Sided Conversations by northerntrash

"Thank you for listening," Thorin said, getting to his feet. "I hope to be able to return the favour, one day."

The man on the bed didn't respond, but since he'd been in a coma for longer than Thorin had known him, that wasn't entirely surprising.

(Not Quite) Prince Charming by manic_intent

The problem, Bilbo would later tell Gandalf in aggrieved irritation, was not so much the unannounced visitors, oh no, but the fact that due to the lateness of the hour and sheer merciless fate, it came to be that at the respectable age of forty, Bilbo was being introduced to a real, live king while wearing striped pyjamas and fluffy slippers.

The Making of a Story by northerntrash

When Bilbo finds a case of old family photographs, he becomes determined to find the original owners: what he does not expect is to become quite so involved in their lives, or that those photographs should prove quite so important.

Misunderstandings and other obstacles for love by ylc

This series dammit! It's amazing, and the dynamics you would ask from a Modern AU.

Candle Glow and Mistletoe by euseevius

Bilbo and Thorin have been married for six months now. The thing is, Thorin’s family doesn’t know this. And because pretending to be just friends for the three weeks you’re going to spend at the family cabin is so much easier than telling the truth, that is what they will do.

(Of course Bilbo has his own ideas of how believable it is for a grown man to bring a friend to spend Christmas with his family. That’s why they make a bet out of it.)

For days you need to just laugh at these two idiots.

The Lost Kingdom of Erebor by Twisted_Barbie

AU. The Lost Kingdom of Erebor is shrouded in myth, likened to the heavens and compared to Atlantis. Until an archaeological discovery unearths that which was lost and awakens the Mad King from his cursed eternal rest.

Not a happy ending, and mysterious and you need to give it a read. Just, do it. It will all be worth it.

Of Palaces and Ruins by livelongandgetiton

Slow burn. Bilbo Baggins is a half-baked archaeologist who has put his dreams of adventure on hold to teach secondary school. Thorin is the grandson of a politically powerful figure in the historically rich and deeply isolationist country of Erebor. When he flees conflict and corruption in Erebor to settle in London, he finds his hands full with two young boys. Gandalf meddles, and Bilbo signs on as a personal tutor for the boys in hopes of getting a foot in the door to archaeological work in Erebor. He soon discovers that Thorin is a tough nut to crack. As Bilbo takes care of the boys he and Thorin grow closer, and secrets about not just the brooding stranger, but the mysterious country and politics of Erebor begin to unravel. It turns out that Bilbo isn't leaving adventure behind, after all.

WIP, updating. JUST READ IT!!!

Write Me Down Easy by lucyraebrown

Bilbo Baggins, a simple man with a wish for something more than his life teaching high school English, is obsessed with a famous author by the pen-name Oakenshield. Although he knows the future is dim for his chances of finding out about the man behind his favorite book, it's reassuring to know someone has the same thoughts about the world.

WIP, updating. It's mostly fuff and happiness, so yesss...feed your inner Bagginshield!

Show Me My Silver Lining by BiSquared

Three years after the hostile takeover of his grandfather's record label by one DJ Smaug, lead singer Thorin Oakenshield is ready to give up on his dreams, even if his band isn't ready to give up on him. If Thorin can convince talent scout Bilbo Baggins to sign them, they might just have a fighting chance. Of course, this is the night when Thorin gets stage fright.

The music industry AU no one asked for.

Love-In-Idleness by perkynurples

Taking Bilbo Baggins, a successful movie actor who is only just getting used to the perks and intricacies of becoming A Face People Want To See, and putting him together with Thorin Oakenshield, with his very traditional (read: slightly backwards) ideas about what constitutes Real Art and Real Talent, might very well be viewed as just some clothead’s idea of a joke. But there are jokes, and then there are carefully calculated risks the size of controversial reproductions of classic Shakespearean plays - for Bilbo, it is the chance of a lifetime to prove himself to all those who have ever deemed him too one-dimensional to even attempt stage, while Thorin has the opportunity to get out of the rut that’s been hindering his career for so long now, and shine in a role worthy of his talent once again. That is if the two learn how to share the same space for more than ten minutes without wanting to tear each other’s hair out. The course of true love never did run smooth, after all…

Did I read this in one go? Yes I did. Did I fall in love with Bagginshiled all over again? Yes I did.

.......*.......

And that's the list folks! I hope you guys have fun reading all of these nice fics! (And all the bagginshield angst/fuff)

#the hobbit #hobbit #fanfiction #fanfic #thilbo #thorins company #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #modern #fanfic recommendation #hope you all have fun!

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new-sandrafilter · 4 years ago

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The Making (and Re-Making) of Timothée Chalamet

BY DANIEL RILEY / PHOTOGRAPHY BY RENELL MEDRANO

He found superstardom and artistic acclaim instantaneously. Now, with unique candor, the actor of a generation reveals what it’s like to come of age in our very upside-down era.

The day after the Oscars in 2018, everything that had changed, changed back again. Timothée Chalamet had spent the previous months becoming known. He had acted in a film, Call Me by Your Name, which was critically acclaimed as well as an instant object of cultish admiration—and his performance had made him, at 22, the youngest person nominated for best actor in 80 years. He had, simultaneously, been transformed into the rarest of pop confections—fawned over by younger women, older men, and every demographic in between. And he had traveled without pause on the awards circuit since early autumn, back and forth from New York and Los Angeles, practically living out of the first-class lounge and the lobbies of the Bowery Hotel and the Sunset Tower.

But the day after the Oscars, the moment the clock struck midnight and his carriage turned into a pumpkin, Chalamet was right back where he'd been before the whole fantasy had begun: in New York, with no credit card, no apartment, and no longer any structured demands on his time and attention. Outsiders who had witnessed the arrival may have regarded this 22-year-old as being in possession of wealth and clout, but he was suddenly back on his own dime, which amounted to maybe five or six dimes, reticent to stay with family and friends whose lives he felt he was disrupting with all his new baggage. Of course they couldn't possibly comprehend the chemical reaction that had just transpired. They were still hydrogen and oxygen, and Timothée Chalamet was all of a sudden water.

And so, for three weeks, he disappeared into the wallpaper of the Lower East Side. Specifically, the wallpaper of a little apartment that the French street artist JR kept for visiting collaborators. Chalamet holed up against the ugly New York weather of late winter, and did the only thing he could think to do: learn lines. The King would be his first film since his pivot into fame, and he was anxious to get back to acting after such a long stretch of merely talking about acting. Even more, he needed to blot out the unrecognizable icon the internet was already beginning to make of Timothée Chalamet.

I met Timothée for the first time at the onset of that initial blush of fame, when all of us were being introduced to an actor who had both rare talent and the un-engineerable it that chings like an audible sparkle off a jewel in a cartoon. I wrote a story for this magazine about that first chapter in the arrival of a film star. This is the second chapter, the story of what's happened since. It wasn't evident yet, but those three weeks in New York in 2018 were the starting line of what would amount to a 30-month stretch of four new films, two new Oscar campaigns, some refreshing romance, an incessant awareness of the confusing image of himself as—what else to call it?—an emerging global movie star, and a constant concerted effort to figure himself out as both a young actor and a young person in the unceasing spotlight.

This summer, we were talking about all this on a little screened porch out back of a modest cabin in Woodstock when Chalamet recalled those three weeks. “My world had flipped,” he said. “But if I kicked it with my friends, things could still feel the same. I was trying to marry these two realities. But I don't even think I knew that was what I was doing. That dissonance was real. And thank God. Because I feel like if I'd caught up to it immediately, I would've been a psychopath or something.”

Out on that porch, I asked him a version of the same question over and over: What had the last two and a half years been like for him, as a human being? His response was a multi-hour monologue that I would characterize as: intense. He expressed unadulterated gratitude for his great good fortune. But he also expressed confusion and tension. He is firmly in a moment when he is concerned that everything he says or does or thinks will look or sound wrong. He backtracked a lot (“Wait, let me try that again”). He jumped on and off the record (“Sorry, sorry, sorry, this is just for you…”). It was important for me to know, he said, in order to communicate the context of his experience, if not the specifics.

“I want to get back to the undefined space again. I'm chasing a feeling.”

He lives in the same world all of us do—only with the potential for adoration and blowback turned up to 11. He seems, at once, to trust his own instincts while also second-guessing most thoughts the moment he's convinced of them. It is an exhausting way to be. At times, when he was up on his feet, in his T-shirt and shorts, pacing around the little screened porch, hands tugging at his mane, I could feel the gears grinding to the point of smoke. He wanted so desperately to get this right, to express what he really meant, to feel the right feelings, to live the right way, to be the right kind of man for the people in his life that he knows he can and should be, despite everything else, despite the noise. He's doing his best.

Timothée had rented the house for the month of July, as a little escape but also as an opportunity. He was slated to play Bob Dylan in a new biopic. No telling when it might film, given everything, but for now he had more time to himself than he'd had in years, which meant time to maybe huff the vapors of some Woodstock Dylanalia. “It's not like I'm suffering from lack of connection otherwise,” he said, “but it just really feels like I'm connecting to something here.” When he arrived, he discovered that his little house had a wall devoted to Dylan—to the albums he'd recorded in the run-up to his timeout in Woodstock in the late '60s. Timothée relished happening upon that wall his first day in the Airbnb. The universe offered signs if you nudged it toward coherence.

He knew what the cabin might seem like—like some young actor taking himself way too seriously, “treating himself like an artist.” But he was back and forth between Woodstock and New York all month, bombing up and down the interstate in the Honda sedan he'd rented from Enterprise. (He learned how to drive on Beautiful Boy.) All the while Dylan was top of mind. Timothée was late to the party but helplessly obsessed. He quoted him generously. He fixated on both the art and the persona. He marveled at the way the artist could be out there so much, making such an impact, while also keeping the real person obscured behind the music, the characters in the songs, the language. In the city, we spent time walking around Greenwich Village, Timothée in an identity-concealing face mask and bucket hat and sunglasses, able to search out old Dylan addresses in an invisibility cloak. He ran from site to site, with notes he'd kept while reading Dylan's memoir, Chronicles: Volume One, barreling up stairs and peering into windows. He was a 24-year-old actor, taking advantage of the pause between the second phase of his career and the third and thinking hard, daily, about how to play the next few years.

He rented the house in Woodstock, too, so that he could have a little space all to himself. He craved the privacy to try things and to fuck up. To make small mistakes now, out of view, when it was just him, when he was still young, so that he didn't have to worry about it later. At one point, he stood up and slapped an empty water bottle off the table so that it clattered against the screen of the porch. “I want to know what that sounds like!” he shouted. He hadn't taken many missteps yet, and it made him uncomfortable, wary, that he would someday. The month felt like a controlled burn. In the most innocent way, that was what Woodstock was about. He got to practice his guitar and harmonica in peace, cook himself his “shitty pasta” without judgment, permit himself space to keep growing up. So much was in the spotlight now. But in that cabin, he could sit on the couch for a while and re-familiarize himself with “the crease in the cushion” that he'd lost touch with over the past few years. The quiet. The stillness. That sunlight there coming through the trees. He could breathe a little. Sleep a little. It had all been so good for him so far. But the goodness made him anxious. When will the other shoe drop? Not there. He'd deleted Instagram off his phone. He'd stopped posting on Twitter. He was reading again. Listening to albums all the way through. Slowing down. What was it like to have lived these past two and a half years? It was like a lot of things, but here at the end of it, it just felt good to sleep.

Back at the start of the 30-month run that led to Woodstock, Timothée turned over the keys to JR's studio and went to Europe to shoot The King. The role was like none of the films he'd just received notice for. “Here I am on set with all these Hungarian men with scars on their faces, and they're like, ‘You're the center of the shot, you're the badass! And we know you tried to put on all this weight, but like: You're wearing all the chain mail.’ If they took the chain mail off, my throat is still this big…” There he was trying to keep in perspective this new fame, this new validation, this new temptation toward ego, all while being thrust into the center of “something called The motherfucking King.”

When he returned to New York that summer, he skipped off the atmosphere again with another awkward reentry. One moment he was on the battlefield of the biggest-budget drama he'd yet experienced, the next he was “back in New York, on the A/C/E at Port Authority, just like, What the fuck is going on?” It was a pattern over the past few years. The calmly intense immersion into work, the “thud of lost purpose,” as he called it, when the work ended. It happened the same way in the fall of 2018 with Little Women—reunited with Greta Gerwig and Saoirse Ronan and the crew from Lady Bird. There was just an ease with which he plugged in with them, “a vocabulary of friendship” that existed there.

Timothée's career thus far has been filled with these sorts of friendships, notably those across generational lines. Even a casual observer may have picked up on it. Those glommings-on to older people in his life. Armie Hammer. Kid Cudi. Greta Gerwig. When I asked Gerwig to comment on the arc she's witnessed up close, from Lady Bird to Little Women, she wrote a note about “my friend Timmy”: “It's hard for me now, because I'm his friend, to see him strategically.… I love talking to him. We can get on the phone and talk for an hour or more without even realizing it, just skipping from subject to subject, making jokes, me feeling old and happy and him being funny and anxious and delightfully all over the place.” It's an odd gap he finds himself in—forced to be more accelerated than most 24-year-olds while also having not lived enough life yet to fit in absolutely with the people he enjoys spending time with most. On a recent visit with his grandmother in New York, she surprised him by saying, “I wish you would hang out with people your own age more often. It must be so weird.” It made him chuckle. Even she'd noticed. She might be right. But how could he resist the orbit of these creative geniuses he'd so long admired and who were filled with so much knowingness?

“I'm confident in the way I'm trying to approach things now, how I'm setting up the angles.”

In the winter of 2019, another Oscar campaign left him feeling disoriented all over again. Everything, Timothée said, was exactly the same as the first time except him. He'd put in this undeniable performance, but maybe one that sparked a little less for Oscar voters than that first kiss with a stranger. Now he was in all the same rooms as before, the same lunches and dinners and cocktail parties, shaking hands with the same Academy members who showed up at everything to get a little nibble of the freshest biscuit, growling ominous things at him, like: You don't have my vote yet.… “I really don't know how to talk about this stuff, man,” he told me, “because my experience of it is at the center of it. There's just some dark energy at these things, and this time around I felt like I could see it. And yet I'm thinking, Why isn't this going the exact same way?”

He wasn't nominated for Beautiful Boy, but the fresh air came, as it always seemed to, on the set of the next film: Wes Anderson's The French Dispatch. The movie is about a fictional English-language magazine (based on The New Yorker of the midcentury) and is structurally organized like the magazine itself, featuring short pieces at the “front” of the movie and a triptych of long features at the back. Timothée costars in the second feature, about a May '68-style student-protest leader named Zeffirelli and the middle-aged magazine journalist (Frances McDormand) assigned to report on his cause.

“I had seen Timmy in Lady Bird and Call Me by Your Name,” Anderson wrote to me, “and I never had the inconvenience of ever thinking of anybody else for this role even for a second. I knew he was exactly right, and plus: He speaks French and looks like he might actually have walked right out of an Éric Rohmer movie. Some time around 1985. A slow train from Paris, a backpack, a beach for 10 days in bad weather. He's not any kind of type—but the New Wave would have had a happy place for him.”

The privilege of early fame that Timothée most appreciates is the ability to choose the directors he works with. His role in The French Dispatch is a minor one, but it's a Wes Anderson movie—it's as simple as that. Due to the episodic nature of the film, some of the other “stories” were already being shot when Timothée arrived in Angoulême, a town that reminded him of the one he spent time in growing up, “so French it was like a caricature,” he said. Timothée had the opportunity, then, to hang with some of the elders he doesn't act with, like Jeffrey Wright, Bill Murray, and other seasoned members of the Wes Anderson troupe. “It was immediately as if it wasn't his first time with our group,” Anderson explained. “He was somehow already part of the family. The youngest member.”

Timothée had seen McDormand around for years, but he'd never felt like she was someone he could approach. “We'd shared an agent,” he said. “And it was no disrespect to me, but I hadn't been in any movies yet. What business do I have talking to Frances McDormand? But now, and this is the gift of acting, I really feel myself coming into my own as a community of thespians, as opposed to actors. And man, that sounds pretentious, but I just mean it's not about the fucked-up ladder of success and un-success, and being the guy or the girl, and then being off the list… That's not what I'm talking about with her on set, that's not what she's espousing to me. She's talking about a long career. She's talking about marriage with a creative partner and consultant. So to be able to have conversations like that and then a story line in the movie where they're kind of on an equal field? Even if she's an experienced, wise woman and he's an idealistic, naive boy? That's the exact relationship of exchange I want with my intergenerational peers.”

There's a particularly memorable scene in The French Dispatch, reporter and subject having fallen into bed together, when there's a knock at the door. Timothée looks at McDormand, anxious about who's there, mortified when McDormand informs him it's his mother. There, in that scene, we see all the desire of Zeffirelli—this energetic young man with all the right intentions, who strains to be intellectually and emotionally riper—clash with the reality of his age. It felt familiar to me, and no doubt to Timothée. It was some of my favorite acting in the film. I asked McDormand if there was anything in their scenes that struck her as particularly mature for someone his age. “Maturity is not something a fellow actor is the most concerned with,” she said. “Playfulness, discipline, and rigor. I do recall, during our scene in bed, the crew responding to his work with true respect for his focus. He was bringing it and we sat up and paid attention.” Anderson added: “I think my favorite moments with Timmy during a scene were the ones where I saw him pause and find a new attack. A new angle, which he does very clearly and assertively. What I love is how he will surprise you with something new, completely unexpected and perfect.”

One night, while McDormand was shooting a scene without Timothée, her husband, Joel Coen—he of the Brothers—asked Timothée if he wanted to go out for a steak. Over dinner, Timothée grilled Coen about Dylan. He knew Coen was a fan and had steeped in it on Inside Llewyn Davis. “He almost seemed weary of even talking about this stuff, it was so big and potent,” Timothée told me. But Coen noted that the truly incredible thing about Dylan was not so much the quality, which was obvious, but the quantity—the rapid amount of work in short succession, one groundbreaking album after another, in those early years. That takeaway resonated deeply with Timothée. Especially as he reflected on it from summer 2020, during the pause, during the moment of no work. That gush from Dylan made him want to work—harder, longer, better, more.

A week after our conversation in Woodstock, Timothée and I were in New York City, sitting on a bench along the Hudson, talking about what he's looking for when work resumes. “I want to get back to the undefined space again,” he said. “I'm chasing a feeling. When you think you're doing some great thing, it's probably something you've done before, and when you really fucking have no clue, that's when you're doing something on the edge, good or bad.”

Timothée's mask had slipped down his face as he was saying this, and two young women, about his age, approached cautiously. “Would you mind if we got a…,” they asked, and he hopped up without hesitation. “How'd you recognize me?” he said, friendly, but genuinely curious, as if he hadn't just been shouting about art in a voice that sounded a lot like Laurie from Little Women or Timmy from late-night shows.

“Was it the scrawny limbs or the hair?” I asked him as he sat back down.

“Definitely the first.”

From France, last spring, it was straight to Hungary—right back to the exact apartment in Budapest he'd stayed in while shooting The King—to start work on Dune. Very few actors had become as famous without a blockbuster. And while he'd really gotten it down how to act on an indie set, how to make every second and every take count, he knew this would be something altogether different. It wasn't just the shoot that would prove taxing. A film of Dune's scale would likely be the can opener to a whole other stratum of Hollywood prominence.

Director Denis Villeneuve told me Timothée was his “first and only choice” to play Paul Atreides, “the one name on the page.” When they met to discuss the prospect, Villeneuve told Timothée how happy he was to finally meet the young actor. And Timothée had to remind him that they'd met before, when Timothée read for Villeneuve's Prisoners. “ ‘Of course!’ ” Villeneuve remembered. “He did a great audition, but he didn't physically fit the part. He was probably swearing at me because I didn't take him.” Timothée was party to so many stories like that one—glancing interactions with these heroes of his before he'd broken through. It reminded me of the relationship between freshmen and seniors in high school. The freshmen remember everything about the seniors; the seniors hardly notice the freshmen. But we all become peers eventually.

“I felt there was one being on this planet right now that would be able to portray Paul Atreides,” Villeneuve said—referring to the hero of the 1965 Frank Herbert novel, who transforms from an unassuming heir into a messiah figure, a charismatic outsider and commander of men and women (and sandworms). I read Dune for the first time this summer and was shocked by the source material, how much I'd consumed in culture that had borrowed from it. Star Wars. Alien. The Matrix. Game of Thrones. Paul, therefore, is a type we're familiar with but also possessing singular characteristics Villeneuve wanted Timothée for: “He has a deep, deep intelligence in the eyes. Something you cannot fake. The kid is brilliant. Very intellectual, very strong. And you see that in the eyes. He also has a very old soul. You feel that he has already lived through several lives. And at the same time, he looks so young on camera. Sometimes he'd look almost 14 years old. He has this kind of general youth in his features and the contrast with the old-soul quality in his eyes—it's a kid that knows more about life than his age. Finally: He has that beautiful charisma, the charisma of a rock star. That Paul will lead the whole population of a planet later. Timothée has that kind of instant charisma onscreen that you can find only sometimes in the Old Hollywood stars from the '20s. There's something of a romantic beauty to him. A cross of aristocracy and being a bum at the same time. I mean, Timothée is Paul Atreides for me. It was a big relief that he agreed, because I had no plan b.”

“If I get hit by a truck next week, I'm looking at 20 to 23, I don't know if you can top that.”

I asked Villeneuve if he noticed Timothée struggling at all to adjust to the larger-scale production. “It didn't show when he was on set, but I think for him the big thing was to learn how to create his own bubble on set. So that he would not have to try to be the friend of everyone. When you're on a smaller set, when there's 25 people, you can be friendly with 25 people. When there's 800 people around, you cannot be friends with 800 people.” He chuckled. “It's too much. So how to save your energy, how to focus, how to give himself permission to be in his bubble and make sure that his bubble is respected.”

As ever, Timothée had a special affinity with those people on set who were a little older, a little wiser. Villeneuve said Timothée was constantly speaking with him and his wife in this open, vulnerable way about his concerns, his fears, how to deal with certain pressures. Villeneuve also described for me Timothée's relationships with his fellow actors, particularly the trio of Josh Brolin, Oscar Isaac, and Jason Momoa. “I felt like Timothée was deeply seduced—or maybe not seduced, but I just felt it was like a kid being with older brothers,” Villeneuve said. “He was younger, he was the little one on set, and everybody loved him. There's a scene in the movie where Timothée runs into the arms of Jason Momoa, and Jason grabs him like a puppy and lifts him into the air like he was a feather. And that's real! They really loved each other. It was very beautiful to see this young man being influenced by these people he admires.”

“His positive energy is infectious,” Zendaya, his nearest peer in the film, told me. “He really is so much fun to be around. We have very similar humor, and we can keep a joke going for a long time, but when the cameras start rolling and it's time to work, you can see it's game time, and he just taps into this brilliant intensity. It's awesome to witness.” Villeneuve underlined the energy as well, describing for me just having seen Timothée the night before we spoke, and marveling at “that beautiful, strong candor.”

“I will say that looking at Timothée working, I had a deep feeling that I was watching the birth of something,” Villeneuve added. “Not that it's for me—I say that with humility, because I feel that birth in all the movies he's done so far. I'm feeling it's someone that has insane potential. When I say potential, I don't want to reduce what he's doing right now, not at all. It's just that sometimes you are in front of somebody and you have the feeling you are in contact with a strong artist and that artist, his identity is still growing, building itself, learning its boundaries, learning how to protect some part of it. I think that we are witnessing something beautiful right now.”

At the end of summer 2019, Timothée finally resurfaced from Planet Dune. He had been on social media only sporadically while shooting for most of 2019, and so, for his vast base of fans, it was an overdue glimpse of the object of their affection. First up was the Venice Film Festival and the premiere of The King. There were clothes and Kid Cudi cameos and charming red-carpet interviews. It was an example of the sort of stretch, in the gaps between shoots, when Timothée could indulge his passions for hip-hop and fashion and all these things he'd loved all his life that were suddenly accessible. It was another of the delirious disorientations of the past few years—the way that people who were once subjects of his intense fandom were suddenly a part of his life as friends or acquaintances happy to have him around. He might still embarrass himself at times, helplessly rapping back lyrics to his hip-hop heroes or gushing like a broken dam about new music or clothes or art made by the makers in his life, but they were cool with him so long as he actually kept his cool.

Timothée also spent the end of last summer promoting The King, alongside his costar Lily-Rose Depp, whom he'd been dating for about a year. He is serious about keeping his former relationship with Depp to himself, but he did share one very sweet, very funny, very sad anecdote that encapsulates the spectrum of great and terrible that accompanies the private life of someone new to mega-fame like Timothée.

After Venice, he and Lily-Rose took a few days for themselves in Capri, where they were photographed by paparazzi. One image, in particular, circulated in which they were making out on the deck of a boat. Timothée is contorting himself into the kiss and looks a little awkward. Many people had their laughs. And some even suggested that the photo was staged for publicity. “I went to bed that night thinking that was one of the best days of my life,” Timothée told me. “I was on this boat all day with someone I really loved, and closing my eyes, I was like, indisputably, ‘That was great.’ And then waking up to all these pictures, and feeling embarrassed, and looking like a real nob? All pale? And then people are like: This is a P.R. stunt. A P.R. stunt?! Do you think I'd want to look like that in front of all of you?!”

This was how things worked now. He'd disappeared into those four straight films and emerged into a new paradigm—one that followed him into the holiday season of last year and a whole new level of exposure with Little Women. Here was this film about sisterhood, female intimacy, and a feminist critique of art and commerce. And yet Timothée was still the shiniest object in the set for so many fans. “I'm very used to answering questions about Timothée's hair from 15-year-old girls,” Saoirse Ronan joked with me. “I imagine that's probably what you're going to ask me about?”

Ronan has the unique perspective of having filmed and then promoted two movies with Chalamet during the past three years, and has as clear an eye as anyone onto this early phase of his career. “He's had such incredible opportunities, and he doesn't let the reality of that pass him by,” she said. “He's incredibly gracious and grateful in relation to his work and the people he works with. I think he's become more open as an actor. He knows his instrument more. I think he works even harder now because there are projects that are on his shoulders in a way that they weren't before. And of course he's been totally catapulted into this whole other realm of attention and notoriety. So he's also having to balance the incredible fame and attention, which would completely freak me out if it was something I had to go through.”

“I've realized that as much as these heroes of mine mean to me, and as grateful as I am when they offer me advice, even they acknowledge it's just a different thing now.”

When Timothée and I were sitting by the Hudson that afternoon back in summer, there were those two young women who approached him for a photo. But there were also two other young women who caught an eyeful of his profile as they strolled by and then surreptitiously positioned themselves out of his sight line but still in mine. They did that thing where one pretends to take a picture of the other while actually shooting back over her shoulder in selfie mode. That charade went on for five minutes or so while Timothée exercised his guts about reuniting with Gerwig and Ronan on Little Women, and though I was nodding along, I was also marveling at the lengths to which those two fans were willing to go to get a picture of him.

I asked Ronan what she's noticed about that level of attention, sitting beside him for so much of it. “I'm always kind of shocked by those things—when any one person can just completely take over people's lives so much,” she said, laughing a little incredulously. “But I'm also not surprised. There just aren't many other young male actors out there like him, who are able to hold an audience in the way that he does. His look is so magnetic and beautiful. One of the things that we spoke about a lot when we were doing Little Women, in terms of our characters, but also in terms of myself and him as people, is that we both have this masculinity and femininity equally. And I think that that's one of his strengths, is that he can be incredibly sort of feminine and sensitive and sensual, and also he's a guy that, you know, girls fancy. So he covers so much ground in terms of popularity. But at the end of the day, he's always gonna have this skill. He can be cute, but that only gets you so far.… And so I've seen him learn how to separate himself from all that other stuff when he's on set, when he's working.”

In Woodstock, Timothée had described to me with greatest admiration the way that Ronan can act in these films, at this highest level of acclaim and attention, but also remove herself, uncomplicatedly, from all the fuss: “She is like a superhero when it comes to this sort of thing, going through it so healthy—with the asterisk being excellent work across the board and four Oscar nominations. I think her, like, DNA of self is really morally right.” She knows herself extremely well, he said, and has the confidence to give up only so much of herself. Whereas he feels he is calibrating constantly how much of his true self to reveal. “Saoirse's one of my best friends in the world—at least I think we're best friends. And she's never judged me for…the Coachella of it all.” That is, the part of him that can't resist fanning out backstage with his favorite musicians or occasionally allowing himself to be in the spotlight even as he talks about preserving his privacy.

“He's 24, and he's gonna have a great time, and I would never judge him. I've been to Coachella; I just never got photographed at Coachella,” Ronan said, chuckling. “But yeah, we talk about that sort of stuff all the time. We've weirdly gone through this together for the last few years. We've both become more accessible. But he's had one sort of attention—I do feel like boys get it on a whole other level. I know that ultimately what he wants is to be good at his job. And that will always steer him on the right path. I've always let him know, and he's always let me know, we can talk to each other, and we do. He has good people around him, and I'm one of them, and Greta as well—we all kind of look out for one another.”

Timothée spent late May and early June asking questions of himself: What can I do? What is my role in all this? He felt conflicted when he sprang to action and conflicted when he stood still. But never did things feel less uncertain, less self-conscious, than when he was marching, anonymously, alongside hundreds or thousands of others in Los Angeles in the wake of the murder of George Floyd. It was an active way to participate—meaningful action, without being showy, without flexing any of the levers of fame or power. He was going to get hit no matter what he did, so he tried to follow his instincts of what felt humble, responsible, right.

“This idea,” he said, “that power is the mass body politic organized—and how many bodies can you get together—that makes sense to me.” He didn't disappear but, rather, stripped himself of his him-ness and became one body, among many, taking up space and participating in an unequivocal statement. “With a mask, a hood, a hat, glasses—my face is deleted,” he explained, “and I'm literally presenting a physical form, you know?” A single body in space that, like a vote cast in an election, is democracy embodied, but anonymous. The same unit of power as anyone else. “People might find it disingenuous, but I found it really grounding,” he said. “It was Oh shit, I don't feel out of place—and yet I haven't been in a crowd like this for years.”

He spent much of the summer talking with others about how a person should be in a cultural and political moment such as this one. “After a day of protests,” he said, “I'd ask friends if they ‘felt good.’ If we do, is it a good thing to feel good, or does that mean we're doing it for the wrong reasons? How much do I want to put on social media? Is it a virtue signal to put it on social media? But all social media is performative, right?” I heard him ask dozens of self-interrogating questions like these. He cares so genuinely about doing the right thing, about doing well by his family, his friends, and his fans. But he didn't want to misuse his privilege or his platform, to overreach so that the gravity of his fame sucked up anything from anyone else whose moment it was to speak. He didn't want to take up room; he wanted to help center other voices. On Instagram, he posted videos each day during the first week of marches in Los Angeles—no directives into camera, just an implicit charge to his followers: Show up. Listen. Be a body.

“I have so many thoughts on so much of it,” he said, “but I don't see the benefit of putting it down for consumption until I've really worked out exactly how I feel about it all. Who benefits from my half-baked ideas?” Who cannot relate to this in 2020? Who would want any of their dinnertime conversations with family and friends these past months chiseled into the stone of the internet? “I care so much about this stuff. But I would never want my caring to be misconstrued. I don't want my caring to be about me in any way.”

God, this stuff twisted him up. He knows how much has gone his way. But from the summit of good fortune and power, is it better to speak constantly—or to shut up, put on the glasses, pull down the hood, and live and act according to one's convictions as one individual among many individuals? To march. To vote. To speak through action rather than words. Staying in motion, showing up, being a body—it's a good place to start while he works out the rest of how he's meant to live a life true to his values with everyone watching.

He's seeking out the right path, the right people—with help from his “intergenerational peers” and Dylan and anyone else he can find. He wants the benefit of their knowledge and experience, and he's okay if it's slow going to accrue it. He's open to playing the role of the novice still. But there have also been things in his life these past of couple years that have made him realize, as he puts it, “adults are just kids a little bit older.” When he returned to New York from Los Angeles this summer, it wasn't to his childhood apartment or to a borrowed living space of an acquaintance. It was to his very own apartment, his first, in a little wedge of Manhattan he loved for being nowhere, but on the edge of several somewheres. He relished the mundanity of setting up his own place. To hear him talk about a first trip to CB2 was like hearing another person talk about their first trip to a movie set. “But I think if people saw what my apartment looked like, they'd be like, ‘Oh! This kid has no fucking clue what he's doing.’ ” He is so young and he is so old. It is his gift. He is so patient when he can suppress being so restless. So careful with the long arc of a career when he can resist obsessing over the instant. He is so confident when he centers on the work and so searching when he gets sucked down into questions about the rest of his life. Will he always be this way? This pliable and open? This self-reflective and intentional? He trusted so little of his new life, but he trusted his talent. That was the key. He knew he was as good as anyone at playing other people, even if he was still figuring out how to play himself.

We spent a good amount of time in Woodstock and in New York City and on the phone talking about where his career might take him from here. With great humility, he acknowledges his skill. But he has been thinking a lot about the difference between preternatural talent and mastery—the work that's required to ascend from that floor of young greatness to the ceiling of realized potential. That said, he's wise enough to know that his career could pivot in an entirely different direction—that the world could change or the opportunities could dry up or “eventually there's gonna be an Oscar Isaac in his 30s who's gonna bust out of Juilliard who's gonna be the next great actor and make me feel like a piece of shit. But right now…”

He told me, “If I get hit by a truck next week, I'm looking at 20 to 23, I don't know if you can top that.” To show up with Call Me by Your Name—he knows that that film was a unicorn, the sort an actor works his whole life to find. And the immediate Oscar nomination had freed him up to not spend the rest of his career chasing a certain kind of role that might lead to a certain kind of validation. “I'm not gonna be bashing my head against a wall trying to prove that I'm an actor,” he said. “The train can run over my leg and leave a track forever, and yet the point of entry for me…,” he said, trailing. “That's a good feeling.”

He looks at all these careers—all the careers you might expect: DiCaprio, Bale, Phoenix, Depp. And he does his best to separate the strands of each of their careers that might still apply to his. But all of the rules for acting success that those performers played by, for how to be in the public eye, for career arcs and longevity—those rules are irrelevant now. Hollywood is different, the media is different, fans are different, movies are different, the world is different. “I've realized that as much as these heroes of mine mean to me, and as grateful as I am when they offer me advice, even they acknowledge it's just a different thing now.”

And so it's occurring to him that the next few years will be Timothée finding the path that's right for him. Lately, he's thought about this next phase as shining a flashlight into the dark. There are potential projects that excite him considerably, some of which he's had a greater hand in engineering. There is, of course, the Dylan movie. But there's the question of how to spend the rest of the year, when most Hollywood productions are still paused. “The rest of the year,” he says, “I'm just thinking about Trump, man.” But after that…maybe Europe for a while? The Woodstock experiment did what he'd hoped it would—a little space, somewhere else. He would love to just breathe some different air again.

He was at another pivot point, as he had been when he and I were first together for Chapter 1. In the winter of 2018, the work had been validated, the public profile had developed suddenly. But the temptations, the confusion, the money—those were all lagging indicators. By mid-2020, all had caught up. And the money, in particular, was on his mind one afternoon in New York. We were talking about how a person might stay true to one's roots with that sort of thing when the reality, for him at least, had changed with Dune. I told him that one of the things that seemed to differentiate him from young stars of the past, and perhaps was a feature of his generation, was the way that material possessions didn't consume him. He didn't buy much stuff. He didn't own a car or a house. He liked borrowing clothes, but not necessarily keeping them. He agreed with the characterization, but then got immediately twisted up about a potential future hypocrisy: “But Dan, what if I do grow to like fancy shit?!”

Boomeranging back home after the surreal adventures out in the world—that was a good and grounding thing for him. Over the weeks we were talking, he spent time with his folks, delivered some COVID groceries to his grandma, and was in touch with his sister daily. And in New York, he and I kept running into ghosts. One afternoon, when we crossed the West Side Highway at Houston Street, he gestured at the athletic complex at Pier 40, where he played soccer growing up. He scampered over to a vending machine there to grab a bottle of water. When he pulled open his wallet to pay, he had only twenties. “Bad metaphor! Bad metaphor!” he screamed, jumping away from the vending machine, as though it were one of the great threats to his selfhood. This was the sort of innocuous moment that will hum with outsize resonance for me when I think about Chapter 2 from the future. All the things that one would expect to happen had happened in the first two and a half years since the arrival of a comet, and yet he was suspicious of so much of it.

Here is another way I will remember him from this moment: sitting on that porch in Woodstock—breeze and birds in the trees, sunlight in the leaves—looking for a higher power. Or at least expressing openness, as a nonreligious person, to the idea of some central organizing force in the universe—because, given everything lately, there has to be or we're fucked, right? Some of these searching things he said to me could be mistaken as a person spinning out a little. But that wasn't it at all. There was such calm. There was such contentment with the grace that had been afforded his life and career thus far, and where each might take him next. He was questing, yes—but he was firmly at the controls. The flashlight in the dark. Someone moving forward with great confidence into the unknown, with eyes wide, mouth shut, and ears listening more than they ever had before. There were no models for how a person like him should be anymore. There were no longer any adults who weren't just kids a little bit older. There were no blueprints for how to shape a career—so much had changed. There was only a head and a heart, his, and a feeling for the moment. “Maybe I'll never do a great work of art again, but I just feel like I'm confident in the way I'm trying to approach things now, how I'm setting up the angles,” he said on that porch in Woodstock. “When you think about Dylan. When you think about what Joel Coen said about the rapidness of the art, I'm just like: Trust the beat of your own drum. Give this its best shot. Give your artistry its best shot.”

Daniel Riley is a GQ correspondent and the author of ‘Barcelona Days,’ which was published this past summer.

A version of this story originally appears in the November 2020 issue with the title "Wild Heart."

PRODUCTION CREDITS: Photographs by Renell Medrano Styled by Mobolaji Dawodu Tailoring by Ksenia Golub Produced by Wei-Li Wang at Hudson Hill Production

#timmy #timothee chalamet #gq interview #super long post

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julieloveupstead · 3 years ago

Text

"I'm Never Leave You" - Upstead

Chapter 2

Warehouse, a bloodied Roy handcuffed to a pipe by Voight above him. He spotted her. He pointed his gun at her. Animal fury was painted on his face, pure desire for murder in his eyes. He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. Hailey was frightened of her Sergeant for the first time. For a moment, she runs her eyes from Roy to the Sergeant and immediately understood what was going on here. Hailey is trying to appeal to what she thought was still the remnants of a human conscience she saw in the Sergeant not so long ago, but from the moment she looked into his eyes she already knew she was at a loss, but she wanted to believe that there was still something of humanity in him, that she would succeed.

Unfortunately, it only took a split second for everything to go wrong. Voight walks over to Roy and buckles him down. Roy takes the opportunity to take the gun. Hailey screams for him to leave, barrel pointed at Voight, he repeats to put the gun down, but to no avail. Gun pointed at her, repeat three more times. Two shots. Roy's body slumps inertly to the ground. Blood everywhere. The first thoughts that come to her mind are what was the best thing she did? What did she do? Jay, after all, he's going to hate her. This will be the end. What did she do? No. No. Nope. NO. NO! Noooooo!

- Hailey. - I hear a voice in the distance, quiet and unclear. Hailey tries to focus her attention on it, but she keeps seeing this blood everywhere. A dead man. After all, she killed a man. She crossed an unacceptable line. - Hailey. - That voice again. She knows that voice, but from where, at this point, she finds it hard to connect the voice to the person. She feels cloudy in the head, and the sight before her eyes is just that blood. Voight looking at her with that demented look of his.

Jay woke up as soon as he heard Hailey quietly sobbing in her sleep he tried to rouse her gently from her sleep, so he whispered softly in her ear, but it had no effect and to tell you the truth he even felt it made it worse. Hailey started to squirm, pushing him away, but he didn't let her go, holding her in his arms the whole time. His heart was breaking at the sight of his girlfriend suffering, and it hurt even more knowing that there wasn't much he could do to help her. All he can do is be there for her every step of the way.

- 'Baby, it's all right now. I've got you. - He kept repeating softly into her ear, stroking her shoulder. He wanted to show her in every way that he was there for her, that he would never leave her no matter what fate put in front of them. - Angel, I am here. I have you. I have you. No one will hurt you anymore. I promise. - Jay kisses the top of her head without stopping whispering and keeps holding her in his arms. No, that's not possible. After all, Jay, he hates me. He can't know. - I love you. It's going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere. It's all right now. I'm holding you. I will never let anyone hurt you again. - he continued in a calm tone.

Finally, Hailey opened her eyes slowly, looking around. She wasn't in a warehouse, but in her bedroom, warm, strong arms embracing her. She turned and saw the outline of a face and instead of fury-filled stares she saw green wise, calm loving and worried eyes.

- Jay - regaining control of his voice and when reality finally came to her in her eyes, Jay saw panic arise and another wave of tears, and immediately tears came to him too. He hated to see his treasure crying for even the slightest reason, he wanted to protect her at all costs, even at the cost of his life.

- Shhh Angel I'm here - he kissed Hailey on the top of her head and pulled her whole body onto his so that her head was placed against his chest, so that she could hear his heartbeat and he could embrace her whole and hold her until the end of his days. He could feel her body shaking from crying, so he hugged her tighter - Do you hear? It beats for you and because of you, and while it beats, I will do everything to protect you. No matter what, no matter who I have to go to war with, no matter what I have to do, I will be here, I will be by your side. I love you and I always will. I will never leave you. We'll figure something out, both of us. Step by step.

Jay assured his beloved to reassure her. Listening to the sure, tender voice of her man, Hailey closed her eyes and completely focused her attention on the beating of his heart, the way he soothingly whispered and the gentle kisses he placed on her head. No words were necessary for them, because what could they say in such a situation anyway. They just lay there and that was completely enough for them both to calm their battered nerves, to slow their hearts down. Hailey loved that moment when she felt like their hearts were beating in the same rhythm. The feeling of being one with someone on so many levels is something amazing, something special, something that little girls fed on fairy tale life hear about, or as grown women reading romance novels or watching romantic movies. Imagining a special love for Hailey was a springboard for what was going on at home. When her dad would come in drunk and rowdy locking himself in his safe place and reading books she would dream that this wonderful hero, this knight on a white horse would suddenly appear at her window and take her, her mum and her two brothers away. But these were just naïve dreams, only a foolish hypocrisy of reality, which after some time ended with a painful clash with reality. She would never have thought that in her life there could really be someone who would love her with all his being, accept her as she is, stay by her side when he finds out about her mostly and want to stay by her side in spite of all that, and want to protect her from every evil. And yet she's found Jay and can't believe he's her friend, her partner and still her boyfriend. For the first time in Hailey Anne Upton's life, she feels safe and really, really loved. She constantly wondered how she ever deserved such a wonderful, warm and honest man like Jay.

- Jay - Hailey spoke quietly after a long moment of silence, with an audible panic in her voice and hoarse from hours of crying.

Hailey felt no fear only of the consequences of what she had done and what might happen between her and Jay, and what was happening now at the police station, because after what had happened everything had turned upside down there. Kevin even though he was there for Kim when they were sitting outside the room yesterday, it felt like the argument that started between him and Adam at the police station the day Burgess was kidnapped has completely changed their relationship, and it's not going to be the same as it used to be. Besides, she can't imagine how she's going to turn up at work tomorrow and how she's going to work in the same place with Voight. Certainly not after what happened in that warehouse. And how is she has going to look Kim, Adam and Kevin in the eye? Damn what she has gotten hersself into.

- Yeah? - He asked, kissing Hailey's head again,bringing Hailey back from her reverie. Jay started playing with her hair, and she closed her eyes again, giving herself over to the caresses.

- What's going to happen now? - she asked in a weak voice.

- What do you mean? - Jay asked her. His watchful green eyes full of peace and love looked at her, soothing her anxious thoughts now and giving her the courage to continue.

- 'Well, Kevin and Adam are at odds and I doubt that will change any time soon. - Jay nodded, letting her know he was listening, so she could keep talking. - 'And then there's this thing with Voight and me. I... Ah... - she moved away from Jay to sit down, Jay continued to look at her tenderly, giving her his full attention. He never rushed her, always waiting patiently until she was ready. Hailey really can't express how grateful she is that she met Jay on her path and for his patience and most of all his understanding with her all these years. - I mhm after that... - Jay, seeing that she was finding it difficult to express herself, placed his hand on her thigh and drew circles on them to help her relax and so that she could throw out whatever was sitting in her head. Hailey concentrated on these movements, closed her eyes and let out the air she had been holding, and was able to start speaking again. - What I mean is... - she interrupted again. It had always been hard for her to open up sometimes even in front of her boyfriend and that made her feel bad because after all it was only Jay, and she knew that she could trust him with everything, but now she felt that every word could bring her closer to losing the man who was most important to her in the whole world. Now that was her greatest fear. But Jay proved to her every day that he would not leave her, that he accepted her fully, so holding on to that she gathered her courage and began to speak again. This time, in a more confident voice, she said what was bothering her. - How, am I supposed to come to work tomorrow? How am I supposed to look into the eyes of Kim, who deserved to look that son of a b*ch who did this to her in the eyes and show him that she is alive and that he didn't break her, that she survived this hell. - Tears began to appear in her eyes. Jay slowly rose to sit down, reached out and wiped the tears from her cheeks. - How am I going to look them all in the eye? How am I going to work with Voight now? Jay, what's going to happen to us? - She covered her mouth with her hand to silence the sobs that escaped from her throat.

Jay immediately pulled her to him, and she snuggled into him tightly, as if Jay was a last resort, and maybe he was. Hailey wrapped her arms around Jay's neck with her own and laid her head in the hollow of his neck and inhaled the oh so familiar, soothing scent. Jay hugged her tightly, nestling his face into the hollow of her neck, giving her kisses every so often in that spot.

They didn't know how long they lasted in such an embrace, but they didn't think to pull away from each other. Both of them felt safe only in each other's embrace and after the events of the last days, they were an anchor for each other, which meant that they did not lose touch with reality.

- 'Hailey, my Angel - he spoke in a tender voice, close to Hailey's ear, focusing her attention on him. - First of all, Hailey, you didn't do anything wrong. Roy was dangerous, incalculable, and could have really hurt you. He could have shot at you, and then I...- she felt him struggle to swallow his saliva and knew he must have imagined the situation, so Hailey hugged him tighter to keep him from thinking whatever he was thinking about now. Jay pulled Hailey away from him, so he could look at her, so he could admire her beautiful face, her gorgeous blue eyes. She was wearing his t-shirt, and she looks so beautiful, and the moonlight that was coming through the window gave such a glow that Hailey really did look like an Angel. His Angel. He loved her so much and wanted so much for her to finally be happy and for no one to hurt her anymore. He couldn't imagine life without her and knowing that someone had hurt her. Damn it, why Hailey? Why did Voight pick on her? WHY?- I want you to know that whatever happened in that warehouse is not your fault, Voight is responsible for all of this, and I promise you that none of our friends would look at you any differently than they are looking at you right now if you told them. Honey look at me - with two fingers he lifted Hailey's face, so she could look at him. Looking into those beautiful blue eyes, now reddened from hours of crying, caused his heart to break again.

Watching the most important woman in his life suffer, and he couldn't do anything about it, was like the ultimate torture that he hoped to never experience again. He felt this way when he came back from Afghanistan as a 20-year-old and his mother fell ill, and during that period he watched his mother suffer in pain and all he could do was be there for her. Even under the time he was on the front line and seeing all the destruction, the deaths of his friends and innocent people, the worst thing was this powerlessness, this realization that you can't do something to make it better, to help them. After his mother's death, he promised himself that he would never again stand by and watch someone he loved suffer, which is why he wanted to enlighten Lindsay a few years ago, to save her from suffering, but somewhere deep down he felt it wouldn't work. It was the same for Mouse, who decided to return to the army because it was the only place he felt fulfilled, needed and alive. The realization that he couldn't help his friend and that he let him go to his death haunts him to this day. And now that he has Hailey, the woman he loves more than anyone before, and he can't do anything. He can't give up, not when it comes to her. Not now that she's finally by his side, not when in his dreams instead of nightmares of what happened on the front lines he dreams of a wonderful future with her. So he can't give up and has to figure something out.

- I'm sorry Sweetheart, but at the moment I'm not able to find answers to your questions - he said, feeling tears appear in his own eyes as he saw the disappointment painting in Hailey's eyes for a split second. That sight broke him down even more. - I'm so sorry, Angel. I'm so sorry. - he said in a breaking voice. - But I know one thing for sure, and I can promise you here and now that as long as we love each other and as long as we have each other, everything will work out somehow. You will see, Angel, we will work something out. - Seeing another wave of tears running down Hailey's cheeks, he felt how much he had let her down. - 'I'm sorry Hailey, I know it's not much, but...' - Hailey interrupted his nervous chatter by placing a kiss on his lips.

- 'Jay, knowing that you're here, with me, and that you love me, means more to me than anything else you can imagine. Whatever happens, I'm not afraid of it as long as you're with me. - Hailey cupped Jay's cheeks in both hands to let him know that what she says is what she really means. - And You're right, as long as we're together, I'm sure things will somehow work out. - She wiped the tears running down her boyfriend's cheek with her thumbs.

This time it was Jay who kissed Hailey. It wasn't a brief kiss, it was a kiss assuring that they are and will be by each other's side until the end of the world and one day longer.

Because the truth is, when they're together, nothing can compare.

❁❁❁

They didn't even know when they fell asleep in each other's embrace, but they were awakened by the sound of the phone ringing.

- I think it's your Jay - Hailey called out in a sleepy voice.

- Shit, I know darling - Jay's voice after waking up was her favorite sound and if it wasn't for the awareness of the events of the last days maybe it would have been the beginning of interesting things. 'Wrap yourself up, your friend is fighting for her life, and you're thinking about stuff like this. Hailey stiffened in thought.

Hailey fell asleep resting her whole body on Jay, because just feeling the warmth of his body and hearing his heartbeat meant that she could fall asleep peacefully, and sleep went on without nightmares. She sat on the bed leaning against the headrest trying to rouse herself, she studied her boyfriend's body language. She saw Jay flexing his muscles and tried to set herself up for the worst.

- "Hmm, good. Okay, we'll be right there." - As Jay ended the call, Hailey prayed that what she was thinking about didn't come out of Jay's mouth. She didn't know what she would do if Kim... No, she can't think about that right now. Kim is strong and has someone to fight for. She's sure she'll come out of this. Hailey is sure Kim will.

- It's Kevin with the new information about Kim," he said, wiping his face with his hand, as he usually does when he's tired or overwhelmed by information and all she could think about at that moment was that the worst had happened.

- God no, no, no. - Hailey hid her face in her hands and cried. She couldn't believe it, this couldn't be happening for real. Jesus and what about Makayla, after all this little baby has already lost two moms and her biological father is in prison. She's been through so much at the age of six, it's unimaginable trauma for such a child. It's a good thing that she still had Adam, maybe the loss won't be so hard and she can grow up normally.

- Hailey, Angel, Kim is alive - Jay pulled his girlfriend in closer.

- What are you talking about? - Hailey raised her head and looked in disbelief at Jay, who had a big smile on his face.

- 'Kev just called and said Kim took the surgery well and made it through the night. He said that now Kim is in for tests and as soon as the doctors allow it will be possible to see her. - he continued enthusiastically.

- For real? - Hailey couldn't believe it. Jay nodded, and Hailey cringed again, but this time not from despair, but because of the relief she felt at hearing that her friend had survived and was still fighting. - Oh my God, it's a miracle.

- I told you everything would work out. - he said, kissing the top of her head.

They both felt a huge stone fall from their hearts with this good news. Their friend, their sister is still with them and that is the most important thing, and they know that everything will end well.

- 'Okay, give me thirty minutes, and we can go to her,' she said, pulling away from Jay, and getting out of bed. She felt like a new energy was coming into her, she wanted to go to Kim right away. However, she was stopped by arms wrapped around her, she felt herself being pulled to her chest.

- Angel, I would love to be there too, but unfortunately the bad people don't have free time. - he said and smiled slightly.

- What is it this time? - Hailey rolled her eyes, but immediately switched into cop mode. She moved away from Jay with reluctance.

- The shooting at 8709 Moonworth - Hailey only nodded, but before she left she placed a deep kiss. She was so happy, the fact that Kim had survived hell gave her hope that maybe her situation would somehow end well too.

- I love you, Jay - she whispered against Jay's lips.

- I love you, Hailey - they whispered and joined their lips together again.

Yes, everything will work out.

❁❁❁

After 30 minutes, Hailey and Jay show up at the scene of the shooting.

- What have we got? - Jay is the first to speak up, seeing Kevin's apartment building coming out.

- Two bodies that we haven't been able to identify yet. - explained Kev as they entered the building with Jay and Hailey. - The house was used for storing drugs and weapons. We found a few bags of amphetamines in the cupboards, but that still needs to be confirmed by the lab, and in the basement we found several pieces, military weapons and more guns.

- Gang meth? - Hailey asked, looking around the living room they were in.

- We think so. Voight's talking to the gang unit. They're in the back of the house.

At the mention of Sarge's name, Hailey clasped her hands together nervously, which didn't escape the attention of Jay standing next to her, who immediately moved closer to her to give her some reassurance, if only in that way. And if Kevin noticed anything, he didn't comment on it, for which Jay was grateful to his friend.

- 'Then I'll go talk to Vo... Sarge, and you guys go back to headquarters. Maybe Trudy will have some information on who owned the house, and maybe there have been previous reports. - The name of their Sergeant, couldn't pass Jay's lips, he also knew that he had given Kevin and Hailey tasks that could be done by uniforms, but he didn't want Hailey and the Sergeant to meet. He realized that they wouldn't be able to avoid it forever, but as long as Jay felt he could have control over it, he would do everything he could to make it happen as late as possible.

Hailey was grateful that Jay had taken on the responsibility of meeting the Sergeant, she knew she wouldn't have been able to face him herself. Not after what had happened, so she was relieved to follow Kevin out.

- Are you all right? - Kevin asked as we got into his car.

- Yes, why? - she didn't dare to tell Kev the truth yet, so she tried her best to control Hailey's emerging panic attack about Voight being there.

- 'Nothing, I just got the impression that you guys reacted strangely when I said Voight was in there, I probably thought. - he said in a curious voice. Again though, I slowly clenched my hand into a fist and my heart started beating faster, I could feel my breathing speeding up. Hailey closed her eyes and tried to calm down, repeating to herself that he is not here, that Voight is not able to hurt her, that she is stronger than anyone can imagine.

- You know, it's probably because of the whole situation with Kim that everyone is over-sensitive. - she said with a calm tone.

- You are probably right. I'm just glad that Kim got through the worst of it. - She only nodded at Kevin's words because I didn't trust my voice to betray that I was barely keeping myself from crying.

Fortunately, the rest of the way to the command passed in pleasant silence.

At the same time, Jay was trying not to say something inappropriate and come off as rude, but it wasn't his fault that as soon as he stepped in front of the Sergeant he felt like punching him for what his Hailey had done. It had always puzzled him how one event, one word could cause us to change our outlook on a person. It wasn't that long ago that he considered Voight to be his so to speak august authority, at one point he'd even counted on his opinion like the Latrell case, and now all Jay felt about the man standing in front of him was dislike and disgust.

- Detective Halstead, please meet Sergeant Smith from the drugs department - Voight turned to Jay, and introduced a man around 50 years old. Jay shook the Sergeant's hand. -This is one of my best men. - Hearing such a formal tone of his superior he felt like snorting, standing here by his side cost him a lot of willpower. - Jay you will be in charge of this case, I hope that you will cooperate and that there will be no problems. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to. - Voight turned and began to head towards the car, and Jay, prompted by the rage he'd felt inside him ever since he found out what this man had done to Hailey, said goodbye to Sergeant Smith with a brief nod and followed Voight.

- 'You want something from me, Jay? - Voight spoke up without turning to Jay. Well, yes, the brunet could have guessed that the older man would realize that he was following him.

- I want you to know that I know what you did. - Jay didn't feel like playing the under card, so he got straight to the point. Voight finally turned his front to Jay and smiled at him as if he'd expected it.

- But I didn't do anything - the confidence with which Voight spoke terrified Jay. The man he was looking at now was not the same man he had known for almost 9 years. As the flaps fall from Jay's eyes, and he now sees the real Sergeant he always was. Now it came to him what a monster he had given his loyalty to. After all, Voight didn't even feel remorse, and no guilt in his eyes. - And how's Hailey doing there, Jay? - What a son of a b*ch. Jay barely managed to stop himself from punching the man he'd considered some sort of authority figure for years, and now all he feels is rage and disbelief that he didn't see who he really is sooner.

- Just try to get close to her Son of a b*ch- threatened Jay, approaching the grey-haired man so that only he could hear.

- Because what are you going to do to me? - Jay knew Voight was testing him on how far he would go for her. Voight's problem, though, was that he was overconfident and the fact that he brought up an even more clever detective.

- 'I won't have to do anything, I'll just remind you that you're in the swamp and if you do something that gets Hailey in trouble because of you then Hailey has a lot of people around her who love her and who are ready to pull her out and you,' he stabbed a finger at Voight, 'And you don't have anyone left Hank and that can only be due to yourself. - And without waiting for any response from the Sergeant, he walked away.

Jay knows that Voight is able to find people who owe him a favor, and maybe they will be able to help him, but Jay also knew something else, that there are more people who Voight got under his skin and after so many years of work he has more than one thing to say, and if Jay had problems because of that, it would be nothing. The most important thing for Jay was that Hailey not suffer anymore because of anyone.

#upstead fic #upstead #upstead fanfiction #jay x hailey #jay halstead #hailey upton

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drabbles-mc · 4 years ago

Text

Protective Detail (2/?)

Nestor Oceteva x Reader

Warnings: language, mentions of bruising

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Y’all I’ve gotten really into writing this fic. I know for chapter one I said semi-slow burn but upon further consideration I’m upgrading this to just straight-up slow burn. I’m not sorry. Enjoy some Nestor banter xo

Chapter Index

Protective Detail Taglist: @masterlistforimagines @sillygoose6969 @mydaiilyescape @lovebennycolon (As always if you wanna be updated on future chapters of this, or notified about any of my other writing, let me know!)

(Threw together my own little fic header because why not?)

You woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee. You smiled to yourself as you sat up and stretched in your bed, taking a few moments to collect yourself before you left your room to see what Nestor had gotten into. You padded down the hall and peeked into the kitchen to see a full pot of coffee sitting on the counter. You smiled as you walked over and poured yourself a cup before scooping an unhealthy amount of sugar and pouring creamer into it.

You heard Nestor from the living room, “You gonna have any coffee with all that cream and sugar?”

You looked over to him with a small smile, “I only drink it for the caffeine. Let me guess, you don’t put anything in yours.”

“That’s right,” he lifted his mug slightly.

You rolled your eyes, “You one of those guys who tries to protect the integrity of the coffee?”

He smirked, shaking his head, “No, I just hate creamer,” there was a pause before he asked, “So what’re you doing today?”

“Nothing until this afternoon. I work at the bar today,” you saw surprise cross his face for a brief moment and you laughed, “Some of us have to have regular day jobs, Nestor.”

He shook his head, “I know your father, I believe there is very little you have to do.”

“I have to have a personal security detail,” you shot back before taking another sip of your coffee.

He chuckled, “Well. That’s an upgrade from calling me your babysitter.”

“Well, I guess I should have asked first, am I still allowed to go to work?” you asked, sarcasm dripping from your voice.

He sighed, “I told you, I don’t make the rules. Your father didn’t say that you can’t. So, yes, until further notice.”

“How kind of him,” you shook your head slightly. You looked over at Nestor, wondering how he had the energy so early in the morning to put himself together so nicely, “You might as well sleep in your dress clothes.”

He shook his head, fighting back a smile, “No, they’d get wrinkled.”

For most of the morning, Nestor stayed quietly out of your way. He was on his laptop for a little while, and you were trying not to stare as you milled about your house cleaning and getting ready for work. Every now and then you could catch him glancing at you as you strolled around and you tried to ignore it.

Once it was time to leave, you snatched your keys off of the table and looked over at Nestor, who was pulling on his jacket. He looked at you, saw the keys dangling from your fingers, and let out a small sigh. He didn’t say anything as he headed towards the front door, holding it open for you.

“If you’re really that petrified after this drive, I won’t make you suffer through it anymore,” you laughed as you walked out the front door.

When the two of you pulled into the parking lot of the bar, Nestor wordlessly held out his hand for you to give him the keys. You laughed, shaking your head, “I was not that bad. Don’t be such a baby,” you opened your door, keeping the keys to yourself, “How am I supposed to trust you to protect me if you can’t even handle a little speeding?”

He didn’t say anything, just shook his head as he also got out of the car. You locked it and started walking towards the entrance, Nestor close behind you. Before you got to the door, though, you stopped and turned to him, “So, are you just going to lurk around for my entire shift?”

“I have to stay with you.”

You huffed, “That’s going to look so creepy though.”

He simply shrugged and gestured for you to walk inside. With a heavy sigh you complied. You walked to the back to get ready for your shift, leaving Nestor to his own devices. He took a seat at the bar and looked around, trying to get a decent grasp on his surroundings. He wasn’t quite sure what kind of bar you worked at, but he wasn’t expecting what he had walked into. It wasn’t a rough bar by any means, but it also wasn’t as upscale as he was probably used to after working with the Galindo family for so long. You were interested to see how he handled everything.

You came back out and set a glass of beer in front of him. He looked at you, confused, and you rolled your eyes with a small smile, “It’ll look less creepy if you’re sitting there and at least pretending that you’re here to drink.”

He didn’t say anything, just gave you a slight nod as he slid the glass closer to himself and taking a small sip out of it. You chuckled to yourself and shook your head as you walked away. The afternoon was starting off slow, as it usually did. That was fine by you, but it definitely made Nestor’s permanent presence a little more noticeable.

A couple hours into your shift, the owner of the bar pulled you into the back to talk to you, slight concern showing on her face, “You know that guy at the bar?”

You nodded, not sure how you were going to navigate the conversation, “Yea, he’s with me.”

“Do I get to know why he’s camping out in my bar?”

You sighed—the only upside being that your boss knew your father. She didn’t know a whole lot, but she knew enough to know that he was a powerful ally to have. “Family stuff,” you finally said, “My dad wants him around to keep me outta trouble.”

“Should I be worried?” she looked at the bruise on your cheek.

You shook your head, “No, I’m good. He’s overreacting. And to be fair, I told Nestor people were going to think he’s a creep if he just sits there all night,” you chuckled.

You saw some of the tension disappear from your boss’s face as she let out a laugh, “Least you tried to warn him,” she nudged your shoulder, “He’s cute. There are worse faces to get stuck looking at all the time, you know.”

You rolled your eyes, “He was hired to protect me, I’m not going to spend all of my time gawking at him.”

“Sure, he’s there to protect you, but who will protect you from falling in love with him?” she batted her eyelashes dramatically with a laugh, “You’re basically the star in a really niche romance movie.”

“Alright, I’m done with this conversation,” you laughed, but you could feel your face started to heat up, “Can I go back to doing my job?”

She smiled, “Sure. But if he starts scaring away customers, you’ll have to tell him to go and sit in the car or something.”

You raised one eyebrow, “You can be the one to have that conversation with him.”

“You think I won’t?”

You laughed, shaking your head, “I know you will, and I need to be there to see it when it happens.”

She gave you a gentle nudge back out onto the main floor of the bar and you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at the mental image that you were conjuring up in your head of how it would look to see her get in Nestor’s face. Jade wasn’t a large woman, in fact she was a little shorter than you, but she carried herself with the confidence of a woman who had spent most of her adult life making sure drunk and belligerent men didn’t too out of hand. There weren’t many situations that scared her. She was older than you, but no one would’ve been able to tell at first glance—not letting little shit stress her out had definitely slowed her aging process. Between that and her long, wavy hair that cascaded down her back, she was the picture of youth. You had always admired the way that she carried herself, and you were almost hoping that she was going to have the opportunity to tell Nestor to hit the bricks.

As the night got busier, it was easier for Nestor to blend in. He mixed in well with the after-work crowd—it was a lot of men and women in their business attire. The later the night got, the more you could see him start to get antsy. A couple times you had walked over to him to tell him that he could wait outside if he was sick of being there, but he would just shake his head and wave you off. A couple times you reminded him that a little bit of a smile would go a long way in toning down the scary and creepy vibes he was giving off. He’d force one for you for a few moments before he went back to his usual passive expression, and you’d laugh every time the fake grin would fall from his face.

Jade had also gotten less annoyed with his presence as the night went on. You were fairly convinced it was only because she thought that he was attractive, not that you could blame her. You were still holding onto the hope that one of these nights she would tell him to get out. The amusement of that mental image made you smile every time it crossed your mind.

Once everyone had left except for Nestor, Jade told you both to head home. You reassured her that you could stay and help clean up, not wanting to leave her to close all by herself. She waved you off, reassuring you that her husband was already on his way to pick her up and she was definitely going to rope him into helping.

“I’ll help at least until he gets here,” you told her, not feeling comfortable leaving her alone.

“I’m letting you go early for your friend, not so much for you,” she laughed.

You smiled, shaking your head, “Listen, the man is being paid to spend time with me. He’s got it made—he can keep his spot at the bar for a little while longer.”

It only took her husband about twenty minutes to get there, and once he walked in, she all but pushed both you and Nestor out the door, “Bring a book, or sudoku or something next time,” she called after him. He didn’t say anything but he did smile and wave goodnight to her.

The two of you reached the car and Nestor looked at you, trying to figure out if you were going to let him drive home. You shook your head slightly before unlocking the doors and sliding into the driver’s seat. You could see it on his face that he wanted to argue with you, but he kept his thoughts to himself as he dropped into the passenger seat beside you.

“We can take turns,” you said as you reversed out of your parking spot.

“Hm?”

You smiled as you pulled out onto the road, “Driving. I’ll drive my car and you can drive yours. We can take turns.”

He didn’t say anything as he rested his head back against the seat, keeping his eyes on the road. You had to assume, though, that the fact that he didn’t argue with you meant that he was fine with the new plan. At least it meant that he’d be able to drive some of the time.

“So,” you started as you unlocked the front door of your house, “How long do I have to go without an attempt on my life before you can be released back into Galindo Land?”

He chuckled as he walked in before you, wanting to check the house first, “It’s only been two days. My company really that bad?”

You hung by the door, allowing him to do his search, “Let’s be real, Nestor, this isn’t what either of us would really call company.”

He returned to the doorway and gestured for you to walk inside, satisfied with the safety level of your home. You walked over to the kitchen and opened the freezer, contemplating which pint of ice cream you were going to dig into. You grabbed a spoon and popped the top off your container of rocky road.

“Oh, that reminds me,” you pointed your spoon at him, “you don’t need to be doing chores around here, you know,” you gestured to the clean dishes.

He shrugged, “I was up…no point in not doing them.”

“I appreciate it, but still. You don’t have to,” you tilted the ice cream towards him, “Want a bite?”

He laughed and shook his head as he sat down on the couch, “I’m alright, thank you.”

You shrugged as you plopped down next to him, “Suit yourself.”

You could feel him staring at you, wondering why you felt the need to sit right next to him. You purposely ignored him as you scrolled, trying to find a TV show you felt like watching. He sighed, leaning away from you slightly and onto the arm rest of the couch. You smiled to yourself, spoon sticking out of your mouth.

It was starting to get late when he looked over at you and asked, “Mind if I use your shower?”

For a moment you thought about making a smart remark about forcing him to live with you and not granting him access to the shower, but instead you settled on, “Had you pegged as more of a bubble bath guy,” you made yourself laugh, “But yea sure, go for it. Just don’t use the shampoo in the blue bottle, that’s just mine.”

He stood up and made his way down the hall, “I’ll be sure to avoid that.”

You peaked over the top of the couch and watched him disappear into the guest room, only to walk back out a few moments later with a change of clothes and a towel draped over his arm. He saw you looking at him and gave you a look that asked why you were staring.

“Water gets super hot super fast, so be careful,” you said without bothering to look away.

“Got it,” he slowly walked into the bathroom, waiting for you to look away but it didn’t happen. Once the door shut behind him you let out a laugh and returned your attention to the television.

When he came back out into the living room, he was back in the same set of clothes that you had seen him in the previous night. Maybe it was because you were so used to seeing him in dress shirts and slacks, but you definitely preferred the more comfortable aesthetic on Nestor. You bit back a laugh as he made a point to sit in the recliner instead of on the couch where he could get smothered by you again. He took his laptop out of his bag and began working on something, not that you would ever be able to figure out what.

“Can I ask you something?”

He didn’t look up from his laptop, “You can ask. Won’t promise I’ll answer.”

You smiled to yourself, “So do you, like, live with Miguel and Emily when you’re not being loaned out to me?”

He looked over at you, shaking his head slightly, “No. I only stay there if things are getting tense and he thinks he needs to have the extra support around the clock.”

You nod, “So you have your own place?”

He paused, searching your face for a moment before giving a simple, “Yes,” and going back to whatever he had been typing.

“Like a house? Or an apartment?”

He didn’t meet your gaze, instead keeping his eyes trained on his computer screen, “Why does that matter?”

You shrug despite the fact that he’s not looking at you, “I’m just nosey. Indulge me!” you laugh.

He shook his head but you can see it in his eyes that he’s trying not to smile, “That’s not information you need to know.”

“Oh come on,” you flopped onto the other end of the couch so you were closer to the chair that he was sitting in, “You get to know everything about my life. I can’t even know if you live in a house?”

He finally looked up at you, “I know everything about you because I have to. What need could you have for knowing that about me?”

“I’ll add it to my pile of Nestor Notes. It’ll go right on top of won’t listen to music in the car and doesn’t like not being the driver.”

He shook his head and went back to his work without another word. You sat there looking at him for a few moments before finally giving in and refocusing on your show. Every now and then you swore you could feel his eyes on you but you weren’t going to risk looking to see if you were right.

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #mayans mc imagine #nestor oceteva #nestor oceteva x reader #nestor oceteva x you #nestor oceteva imagine #my writing #protective detail #chapter 2 #multichapter #drabblesmc

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unnursvanablog · 3 years ago

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The King’s Affection sure feels like a proper and serious sageuk (which might turn people way because it feels boring) but I am really in the mood for that and I enjoy those types of sageuks a lot. And honestly I would not expect anything else from Park Eun Bin. She truly excels in that genre (or any genre for the matter).

One might expect this show to be on the lighter side (and compared to shows like Six Flaying Dragons or My Country it is) but the first two episodes were sort of filled with death and people’s lives turning upside down and just kinda miserable. Not sure if that is an indicator of tragic things to come, but I do enjoy some tragedy in my historical dramas, so that’s nothing I am going to turn my nose up at. This is somewhat light, but it’s not fluff or fusion sageuk.

Once we are over the more tragic past (which most sageuk protagonist must have) the first half of the drama does feels like it’s going to be airy and light, with some romance. The second half could be more political heavy as things go into motions, people discover secrets and that sort of things unfolds. I just hope that the pacing and the tension will have a nice buildup to it so it doesn’t feel like too much of a tonal shift from the story as that’s a problem a lot of these sageuks tend to have imho.

I feel like it's going to go halfway between tragedy and wholesome and honestly if that will be the case then I don't think I would mind. But I have also not read the manhwa so I have no idea really. But maybe this drama won't even follow it that well.

(or the pace is overall just too slow and therefor kills the tension and the buildup to the final action or drama feels boring). Sageuks are great thing to watch if they managed to hit all the right moments. But that can be said about pretty much every damn genre or sub-genre. Lovers of the Red Sky is suffering for slow pace imho which makes the plot meandering to be and I am less excited about it then I wish to be. So I want a good, proper sageuk from this one. I am craving one. But all is not lost as I have at least had Bossam this year (which was slow paced but it also fitted the narrative).

I do enjoy the crossdressing trope (is it called that?) but it does depend on how it’s handled. But it’s one that does always somewhat intrigue me for some reason. I am less found of childhood friends to lovers, but that almost comes with the territory once they start going for the tragic childhood background that often comes with sageuks.

Overall this felt like a very sageuk sort of sageuk (if that makes sense) and quite serious and mature tone over it. I was shocked at how much death was in the first two episodes, but it also sort of intrigued me. I enjoyed myself a lot. The childhood portion was great. I really enjoy it and it did not feel like a chore to watch or something you just had to sit through for backstory imho. And I really enjoy our king Lee Hwi. You do feel for her character immediately.

I can't wait to see Park Eun Bin as an arrogant prince. Which is probably just a coping mechanism or façade to protect herself. But one does wonder if the viewers are going to be more forgiving about it, because she is actually a girl, than we dp with the other male arrogant princes. Kdrama viewers love to talk about strong female characters but do often complain more about the female characters if they are too flawed or not likeable enough.

The actors were great, including the child actors. The only one I worried a bit about was Rowoon because this is his first sageuk and sometimes that can be hard. We didn't get to see a lot of things from him, but so far I didn't find him awkward in this setting at all. Park Eun Bin I have no worries about. She is always great and has been doing these things since she was a child. This is as natural to her as breathing. It's great to watch her on screen. And she often chooses great projects, and I enjoy her less then stellar ones for her, so I am hyped for this one.

#the king's affection #first impressions

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h2bakugou · 5 years ago

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todoroki and his s/o (who also has Mega Daddy Issues) bonding over their shitty dads?

a/n: YESSS okay i like this idea so much. my dad is vibin, actually, i have no idea what he be doin i wish him well tho. my feet hurt a lot from moving my room around.

summary: todoroki and you decide to spend some time together, just the two of you. you get onto the topic of dads, and seemingly bond over just how shitty your fathers are.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, tiny bit of angst, fluff

word count: 809

»»————-　★　————-««

Dads am I right? Your father wasn’t the best, and you never really saw him much. It wasn’t like he’d left, but it probably wouldn’t have been any better if he did. He just wasn’t around much, around you at least.

Todoroki didn’t have the best dad either. Todoroki had known the feeling of being used purely for someone else’s gain all too well.

It was crazy how the two of you came to be.

- - -

Sitting on Todoroki’s bed, thankful to have a break away from the campus, you stared up at the ceiling.

“Are you hungry?” Todoroki asked, sitting up from his spot on the floor to look at you. Your head hung over the side, lowering it so you could look at Todoroki, who appeared to be upside down.

“Sure. Do you have soba?” You ask, a smile playing on your lips. Todoroki gives you a rare smile.

“Of course I have soba.” He stands, extending a hand for you to follow. You sit up straight and take his hand, lifting yourself off of his comfy mattress.

Walking out into the hallway and around to the kitchen, the two of you run into Todoroki’s father, Enji. You give him a small smile, trying your best to be polite even though you knew just how much suffering Todoroki had gone through.

“It’s nice to see you again, (y/n).” Enji states in his usual tone, this time sounding a bit more father-like. Todoroki had begun making the soba. You nodded and decided it was better to just say a little something than to ignore him completely. You didn’t want to be rude.

“It’s uh nice to see you again too, sir.” You say politely, turning to help Todoroki out in the kitchen. Enji watches a small smile appear on Todoroki’s lips as you stand behind him and act as his second pair of arms.

It was the first time he’d seen his son genuinely happy in a while. Deciding not to cut short the time the two of you had together, Enji moved along to go do something else.

“Sorry about my dad, he’s always asking about you.” Todoroki waits for his dad to leave before he talks about him.

“Why?” You ask, curious as to why Enji Todoroki was asking about you.

“Because my dad doesn’t want me to be distracted. He still doesn’t like the idea of us together, but what he says doesn’t matter. I love you and nothing is changing that.” Todoroki was looking at you now. You gave him a kiss on his cheek, watching as a blush spread across his face.

“Oh believe me I know. My dad can’t stand that we’re dating. He’s always on my ass about not being able to balance being a good hero and having a boyfriend!” You groan, frustrated at your dad who wasn’t even near you.

“Has he given you any trouble lately?” Todoroki knew the answer to that question. Of course, your dad was on your ass about everything. Todoroki just wanted to know if you were doing okay.

“Like always. He complains about my grades, about my relationships, he even complained about how I wore my fucking uniform. Nothing I do satisfies him.” You pout, just wanting him to feel a bit proud of you for something, anything.

“My dad’s so focused on my future, I wonder if he even thinks about his own.” Todoroki adds. You let out a giggle and watch as Todoroki raises a brow at you.

“He’s so focused on you and being number one, it’s amazing how he juggles the two things.” You grab two bowls for the soba, happy that it was finally ready.

“I never knew my dad was a juggler.”

“Oh come on we all know he works at the circus.” You joke.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Todoroki questions.

“That he’s a clown.” You let out another laugh, watching as Todoroki finally gets your joke. He chuckles and fixes some soba for you and him before you head back to his room to eat.

Sitting down on the floor, you look at Todoroki and smile.

“With our shitty fathers and questionable futures, I think we’ve ticked all the boxes for a quirky teen romance movie.” You chow down on your soba, feeling blissful after being hungry for so long.

“Perhaps.” Todoroki comments.

You feel so much closer to Todoroki, even after being together for so long. Why had a conversation about how shitty your fathers could be, bring you closer?

It was amazing honestly. But you loved Todoroki.

“After eating do you wanna go take a walk or something?” You ask, looking out his bedroom window.

“Sure.” Todoroki smiles again. He’d nearly finished his bowl. He rested his head on your shoulder and sighed. He was happy someone understood how he felt.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

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thetypedwriter · 4 years ago

Text

Lore Book Review

Lore Book Review by Alexandra Bracken

Lore by Alexandra Bracken was one of 2021’s most anticipated YA novels and it's easy to see why. The plot summary itself is enough to pull you in with the intriguing concoction of calling it the combination of The Hunger Games and the Percy Jackson series.

What’s not to love when you fuse the illicit danger of Katniss Everdeen with the mythological enchantment of Rick Riordan’s masterpiece?

Turns out, quite a lot unfortunately.

Before I get into why this book didn’t live up to the insurmountable hype it built up, I’ll attempt to give a basic summary. The key word being attempt as a good portion of this novel’s plot was a mind boggling and convoluted mess.

The book takes place in modern day New York which Bracken likes to remind you every other paragraph with small snippets about how the city that never sleeps smells like sewage and is yet still the best place on earth apparently.

Don’t get me wrong, I love New York as much as the next person, but the pandering to the Big Apple got annoying after awhile.

Within the cantankerous city lives a girl named Lore which we are introduced to by means of her kicking ass in an underground Chinese restaurant’s fighting ring.

Pretty strong start.

Lore’s world (and the reader’s frankly) is tipped upside down when Lore’s long lost childhood friend, Castor, reappears to warn her that he is looking for her. Terrified, Lore is then at first unwillingly thrust back into the world in which she was born-a world dominated by violence, bloodlines, and the Greek gods who are very much alive and out for vengeful retribution.

In a very exposition-dump heavy conversation, we learn that Lore is the last of Perseous’ line with the rest of her family having been horrifically murdered, that a week long event called the Agon occurs every seven years in which the original nine Greek gods or their reincarnated selves become mortal for seven days, and that a series of killing often happen because if you kill a Greek god you then become that Greek god as well as inhabit their powers, abilities, and immortality.

Well, until the next Agon that is.

The currently reincarnated God by the name of Wrath is attempting to end the Agon by killing all the other Gods, but in order to do it he needs to wield a special weapon called the Aegis.

Unfortunately, only the Perseides can wield this shield (for some reason) and thus, Wrath is out to get his hold on Lore as the last of her line so that he can bring this eons old competition to an end with himself as the sole victor and only remaining God.

Confused?

I’d be surprised if you weren’t.

Now, I love Greek mythology. I’ve read the classics and would say I’m fairly up to date on the stories, the legends, the gods, and the stories they represent. I’m not an expert, but I would say I’m knowledgeable on who the major figures are and what they stood for.

I genuinely think this book would have been miserable for anyone that didn’t know anything about Greek mythology.

Bracken does a terrible job of explaining what the hell is happening at any given point, and she often throws out allusions and references to Greek mythology without bothering to explain a single shred of information about it.

In addition, after this laughably and poorly explained world and plot at the beginning, it is almost never explained again. It’s brought up, as are names and titles and weapons and relationships, but it’s never explained in a way that’s feasibly understandable.

At the beginning of the novel Bracken lists who all the important characters are, their bloodlines, and their titles.

I soon figured out why, as every other sentence a name like Wrath or Reveler or Tidebringer or whoever was brought up, and it was impossible to keep track of so I didn’t even bother.

Even Lore brings up that the names are ridiculous, which I appreciate, but the meta moment of clarity doesn't make it any better.

Also, what Lore and her friends get up to over 90% of the novel is a muddled mass of bewilderment.

Why do Lore and Castor and the others need to find Artemis? I don’t know, but sure, whatever, sounds good. Why was Lore the last of her line again? Oh yeah, right, okay, I guess. Wait, Castor died? Oh, he didn’t? Why not? Oh, we’re not going to explain it. Sure, sure.

Throughout this entire novel, what the characters are doing and what is happening is almost impossible to follow with the way it's presented and the way Bracken developed her world. I think this was a really cool idea that had very poor execution.

Points for the originality and the inclusion of Greek mythology, but all of the positives were taken away when that originality was flushed down the drain with a lack of explanation and logic.

Lore very much reminded me of a shoot-em up, bang-em up action movie. Almost every other chapter was some sort of super intense, super climactic fight scene, chase, theft, break-in, etc.

Now. I do think action scenes are hard to write and I think Bracken actually did an incredible job of writing action in a way that was entertaining and thrilling.

However, when the action takes place every ten pages it gets really old, really quick. Towards the end, I downright started skimming the fight scenes, because they lacked so little depth and stakes and we had read so much action at the end point that it had lost all vigor and vitality.

Continuing with the action movie metaphor, most action movies focus solely on the bright explosions and the crazy fight scenes as their selling point of the whole movie, often to the detriment of the characters, plot, and development.

Now, some people like this. I am not these people.

I find action movies boring as most of my enjoyment from consuming media comes from the characters and the developments they undergo.

My biggest criticism with Lore, other than the astonishing storytelling, is by far the characters. I just...didn’t care. About any of them.

Bracken tried to make Lore come across as a strong, opinionated, fierce, angry female character and while sometimes she succeeded, more often than not I found Lore temperamental, aggravating, impulsive, selfish, and shallow.

Bracken very much invoked the tell-not-show strategy that makes any book hard to get through. While there were some decent moments of showing instead of just stating, more often than not, Bracken would tell us that Lore was strong by having other people say it or others calling her weak.

I appreciated Bracken’s feminist agenda and how strongly Lore felt about gender inequality, even if it was a bit heavy-handed at times. Still, I did appreciate this inclusion of civil rights on this front, even if some of the circumstances to incite it were ridiculous or over the top.

In addition, I hated that there was all this backstory that we were just told but not shown. Like in my last review of Wilder Girls, Lore suffers from an intrinsic failure of getting me onboard with these characters and their relationships by telling me how I should feel about them instead of exposing them through action.

I was told:

Lore and Castor haven't seen each other for seven years, but my gosh, Castor is just the best and is so beautiful. Ensue obligatory YA romance.

Lore has a best friend! Yeah. Her name is Iro. Here she is! Um. Okay. Why was this necessary?

Miles is just the coolest best friend ever. Like, look how cool and chill he is. How funny is it that he has no idea what’s happening? Really not funny at all. He was a useless character used to build empty stakes.

The list goes on and on, but Bracken will throw out some sort of fact or relationship and just expect the reader to go “Okay!” Which. I didn’t. On any of those occurrences.

Often Bracken would do this in the use of flashbacks at the most inopportune times (during a fight scene, after someone was injured, right before a huge revelation, etc). These flashbacks were the worst. I do not care for adolescent Lore and child Lore was somehow even worse.

The romance in this book, much like an action movie, is off to the side and really only there to fulfill the trope of having a romance.

Lore and Castor are boring. I don’t know what else to say. Castor is too perfect to be likable and Lore is the opposite. Nothing about their romance was unique or well-crafted.

The kiss between Van and Miles I also saw coming a hundred miles away. I also thought it was pointless as Van and Miles had known each for six days and had had maybe two conversations. So. No. I didn’t care at all about the romances.

It actually made me laugh and scoff simultaneously at the end when Lore is looking at Van, Castor, Iro and Miles and smiles because she realizes that these people are her family.

Ummm. Sorry?

Castor disappeared for seven years and you’ve been reunited for seven days. You’ve hated Van your whole life until this week. You also haven’t seen Iro in seven years and she tried to kill you at least twice in this book. Miles is...fine, but again useless. I don’t even know why Bracken included him except to make Lore worry about him which she only did about half of the time.

Phew.

I know this review has come across largely negative, so this might be surprising, but I didn’t hate it. It lacks substance and depth, but it was entertaining.

Just like an action movie.

If you want some hyped fights and a plot that really doesn't matter and characters that won’t stick with you, but a fast-paced narrative that keeps you on your toes nonetheless, then you would probably enjoy this.

It’s like the equivalent of watching a James Bond movie or one of the millions of the Fast and Furious. Bracken tries to develop the characters, but at the end of the day, most of the story is made up of cool fights, magic, and weapons. If that’s your speed then you would probably really love Lore.

Recommendation: Action, action, action. If you want some high intensity, get-your-blood-pumping enterprise then this is your novel. The writing is fluid, the adrenaline-inducing scenes are non-stop, and everything else falls to the backdrop of external fights and villainous monologues. If action is not your preferred genre, then your best left to get your Greek mythology needs from Percy Jackson or the Song of Achilles instead.

Score: 6/10

#lore #alexandra bracken #6/10 #ya fiction #YA Books #YA literature #book blog #book review #top books #teen books #Teen Romance #teen fiction #Book Recommendations #YA Book Review #ya book rec #popular fiction #popular books #greek mythology

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