#i think ive gotten over everything except the physical and so the thoughts got crossed.

[inkats]

i wanttt........ a toxic situationship....

[nicoscowboyhat]

PJO/HoO/ToA characters as things me and/or my friends have said

a lot of these are discord messages bc we haven't seen each other in person in a while :( some of the ones at the end are from a notebook i had though where i would write down the funny shit we would say. came in handy lmao

-

Clarisse: i would've been a heavyweight for a cheerleader and thrown some hoes

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Arrow of Dodona: Thou side bitches art foul for i despise thy hairstyle

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Octavian: i love how i'm just automatically the misogynist

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Percy: hey guys i can make my dick invisible

Jason: NO FUCKING WAY

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Nico: ill fucking kill you. squash you like bug

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Leo: piper wants a smoothie. a smoothie i shall make

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Lester: hey besties pro tip: don't make brownies in the microwave

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Annabeth: ayo ive got like. reverse appendicitis rn tell me some comforting shit 🔫🔫

Percy: you're sec c, don't die

Annabeth: ty

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Percy: aw shitttt almond butter and jelly on da everything bagel

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Leo: Vigarous gay sex

Jason: Vigorous is spelled with an O.

Piper: sexo gay vigoroso

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Meg: don't worry

Lester: i will worry if i so please

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Will: but i don't think you can kill monkeys

Nico: you can but they put up a pretty good fight

Will:

Nico: oh you mean like legally

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Ethan: my power went out while i was sleeping

Luke: lmao loser

-

[the gang is arguing about some guy eating white chicken. like literally snow white. not boiled, WHITE]

Clarisse: well the whole point is that it's not raw and the man took a bite and it wasn't

Silena: he died later that week clarisse

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Percy: foo fighters in algebra what will happen next

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Octavian: dick an d balls

Reyna: No politics in chat plz!

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Luke: submerges into the spin cycle

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Luke: god

Ethan: is always watching

Luke: hope he didn't see me push that elderly woman down the stairs

Ethan: definitely did

Luke: shit

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Grover: fuck school i just wanna play animal crossing 😡😡 enough of this "physical education" shit i am planting tulips 😡😡😡

-

Connor: i'm going to throw up into someone's mouth like a bird

Travis: as you should king

-

Harley: [holding out a decapitated rubber chicken filled with grape juice] would you like a drink from the chicken chalice?

-

[everyone's name was changed in a discord server]

Nico: why is my name spaghetti i just realized this

Hazel: we're all sketti here

Nico: ah

Nico: i thought it was so you knew who to kill when the italian genocide came around

-

Leo: penis

Piper: sometimes

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Jason: i have chronic cool guy syndrome

Frank: is it contagious? i'm feeling a cough

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Reyna: just heard octavian speak day ruined

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Will: CISHET MAN ALERT 🤢🤢

-

Percy: bro what if we went to japan

Grover: AHAH I WAS EATING CHEESEBALLS WHATS THE CONTEXT??

-

Jason: how's octavian been doing? has he gotten worse?

Reyna: he's pretty much the same. considering driving a semi truck into his house.

-

Percy: yo did u do work?

Annabeth: no but thank u for asking

-

Luke: pillage an empire to assert dominance

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Nico: Noose?

Will: Nooses are not very hot nico

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Will: thor got that gay little bridge

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Annabeth: i'm gonna put my alphabet soup in numerical order

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Leo: pog to your mother

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Will: [sends a drawing he made of jar jar binks with kylo ren's outfit + lightsaber that says "meesa finish what youssa started"]

Everyone:

Will: react

Will: react to jar jar

-

Luke: you ever just,,, eat someone on accident

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Jason: yo gamma your fam still vibin?

Jason, 2 seconds later: that felt gay to type

-

Thalia: crimbo this year is gonna be litty titties

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Thalia, 12 am on christmas day: merry shitscream my dudes

-

Nico, 10 years old: i have question

Nico: please

Nico: bro

Nico: q,ueshtun

Nico: kweshtin

Nico: i've just one

Nico: query

Nico: pleabse

-

Clarisse: you sound like gay cat in the hat

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Kayla: BIG BOYS BIG STEPS

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Meg: words are for CHUMPS

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Luke: i'm laughing because i ran over a cat yesterday and i can't stop thinking about it

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Nico: yo titties are gross

-

Frank: please don't spoil cinderella

Leo: she loses her slipper

Frank: does she ever get it back???!?

-

Piper: [surfer voice] fudgecakes, dude

-

Will: i watched star wars in the bathroom... probably tmi but i don't care

-

Coach Hedge: you're trash. i will run you over

-

Lester: please stop singing miss mary mack!

Meg: i hope you get dragged my miss mary mack.

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Percy: [singing] i wanna be the mayonnaise to your bologna, wanna be the cheese to your macaroni

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Octavian: i'm above everyone! except, um... triangles. they scare me

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Luke: my mom asked me what i wanted for dinner and i said "chinese food" and she said "how about olive garden" i said "MAY i SAID CHINESE FOOD"

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Nico: my mom died [default dance]

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Connor: the thing is, i didn't ask.

Travis: damn bro that really hurt my feelings

Connor: i'm sorry bro i didn't mean to hurt your feelings

Travis: it's ok i lied

Connor: that's ok i did too

-

Reyna: [clone high JFK voice] bitches be like "i'm the shit" nah you ain't even the fart

-

Lavinia: me having a stroke after inhaling caffeine like it's a tuesday

-

Leo: damn girl, you shit with that ass?

-

Austin: i'm about to eat a rock. hungry like gertie

-

Nico: who is sports? i've never heard of them

Lester: i think it's a band

[jimlingss]

The President’s Son [10]

Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 10.5 OR Chapter 11

➜ Words: 4.2k

➜ Genres: 100% Fluff, Slice of Life, Bodyguard!AU

➜ Summary: Kim Taehyung is the President’s son, mischievous and playful, and infamous for being a troublemaker. When everyone’s given up, they call for you to be his personal guard. There’s no other choice when your dad’s assigned you to it and surprisingly Taehyung doesn’t mind either. Maybe because you happened to grow up with that brat.

Siren wails and deafening ambulance howls — putting arms over heads and getting to your knees — handcuffs clinking as your hands are restrained. You’re bathed in blue and red lights, eyes wearily blinking as your vision is blinded. Camera clicks — microphones shoved into his cheeks — questions spewed one after another, morphing to sound like the tortured in hell. Taehyung shields himself away from the white flashes as he’s forced to stand by his father’s side.   Fear runs rampant, only partially subdued with a single press conference, tabloids and media outlets gathering as they try to figure out what happened, calling upon the police chief, your father, and Taehyung’s. Those responsible are taken into custody, under investigation, while another team tries to contain public hysteria from spiraling.    “I’m sorry I snitched,” Jungkook tells you. “I didn’t want to.”   “It’s okay,” you murmur as you stand at the back of the room, watching the President take a stand against terrorism. “You brought me backup when I needed it.”   But just because everything’s said and done and everyone’s safe doesn’t mean there aren’t any repercussions.   It’s the end of the line. From across the room, you stare at Taehyung intently, how disheveled and tired he looks, the spark in his eyes lost, knowing this is unfortunately the last. And you’ll accept it. When tomorrow arrives, you’ll go looking for other jobs to take on, accept whoever might want your selected skill set. There’s nothing to do but take responsibility for your actions and the damage done.   But you don’t know why it feels so hard.   Your whole life has revolved around indifference, acceptance, letting things roll off your shoulder and continuously moving forward. But for the first time, your feet feel too grounded to keep moving.   “Come in.”   You push the door, closing it gently behind you. His office remains ever the same, except for the new piles of papers placed all over his desk.   The old man sighs, taking off his reading classes and rubs two fingers at his temple while you take a seat across from him. It’s more frightening when he isn’t outright angry.    He begins, words heavy with exhaustion. “Did you think about what you were going to do?”   “Yes,” you answer after a beat. “I knew it was going to take a long time—”   “So you ignored all the plans that were being made? You ignored standard protocol and my authority as well as everyone else’s?” He asks you calmly, composed without a bite to his words, almost like he expected this.   “I wanted to scope out the environment to provide more details.”   “That’s out of the scope of your job. You went above and beyond. And you did so irresponsibly. To the point where it’s outrageous. You could’ve gotten killed. You could’ve gotten the President’s son killed.”   “I’m sorry.” The apology doesn’t cut it, but it’s all you can offer. “I...saw a chance and I took it.”   “You’re lucky that no one got more hurt than they did.” The old man sighs, leaning back in his swivel chair as he shuffles papers in front of him. “I’ll write you a recommendation letter before you go.”   “There’s no need.”   He raises a brow and halts his movements completely. After a second, he glances up at you again. This time, he speaks in a softer tone, not as a chief, but as your father. “Are you planning to stay in the capital?”   “I...don’t know yet.” You came for a reason and yet you’ve done nothing for that reason — it’s still too difficult to approach, too awkward. You’re not sure where to begin or what to do. Your initial intentions have washed down the drain.   “Let me write you a letter,” he insists. After all, despite recent incidents, the past three months have passed by without any qualms. It was the first time there was some semblance of peace and quiet. “It’ll help you in whatever you want to do next.”   “What letter?” He’s interjected by a chiming timbre. The lithe woman shuts the door behind her before sauntering up to the desk, right beside you. Her arms are crossed, dark hair draping her backside, dark circles showing her fatigue, yet she doesn’t show any weaknesses. “You’re not going to write any letter, ____.”   “Hyunjung...this is a decision that’s been in the making for a long time.”   Taehyung’s stepmother is outright challenged, but she stands her ground, shaking her head, not amused whatsoever. “I know I have no part in this, but it’s my job to protect my son’s protector.” Her voice moves into a higher pitched, almost like a whine of disbelief. “I came here to get on my knees to personally thank Y/N and lo and behold, I find you not only reprimanding her but firing her? I won’t have it.”   Your father lightly scoffs, looking away. “She isn’t suitable for this job…”   “Then who is?” The middle-aged female asks, demanding an answer he can’t give. “She risked her own life to save Taehyung. We should be honouring that bravery. I expected you to promote her, y’know! Give her a better title! Give her a raise or a vacation!”    Her rambling is childish and lighthearted, dissipating the tension in the room. While she’s not biologically related to Taehyung, she shares striking similarities to him. You’re not surprised that she suits the President well. “Or even put up a statue of her in the yard! I thought I would have to fight you against naming Taehyung’s firstborn Y/N!”   “I acted irresponsibly,” you speak up, looking towards her. “I’ll accept whatever punishment—”   “Tch.” She clicks her tongue in annoyance, shushing you harshly. She frowns in disapproval with her reddened lips pouty. “I’m trying to defend you. Don’t make it worse, young lady.” Taehyung’s stepmother turns to face the chief. “Look at what you did to the poor girl! She should be proud of her courage, but you made her feel ashamed. Have you ever praised her before? Or do you just criticize your best employee all the time?”   There’s a long silence.    The tables have turned. Now he’s the one being reprimanded and scolded. But he doesn’t protest or fight her on it, perhaps giving into the woman’s judgment.   “Unbelievable,” she scoffs. “You are about to fire one of the nicest people of your entire team. Absolutely unbelievable. Come on, Y/N. Follow me. You don’t have to sit here any more and listen to this ridiculousness.”   You turn to your father after looking at her. His expression is impassive, but you read it well enough. There’s no real anger. At best, he feels at a loss.   You deliberate what to do, but the woman doesn’t give you a chance. She urges you one last time, heavily insistent, so you take her hand and she pulls you to your feet. “If you want to fire her, you’ll have to speak to me about it first.”   She struts out, tugging you along and you look back to catch your father sighing, molded into his chair, head knocked back to stare at the ceiling. He can’t get rid of you even if he wanted to. Somehow, you’re protected by everyone that has the last name Kim.   “You really didn’t need to….”   “Hush, child.” She spins around, hands securing on your shoulders comfortingly. “I owe you my life. Taehyung owes you his life, okay? I’ll make sure he knows that too, but I think he already does. Don’t get too bothered by your old man. He was probably just worried about how you risked yourself out there.” Somehow you doubt that. Then again, even while growing up he had an odd way of showing his affection. “Which I don’t approve of either, but what’s done is done and all I can say is thank you. Truly.”   “I was….just doing my job.”   “You weren’t.” She smiles softly. “And you know that.”   Taehyung’s stepmother tells you how you not only saved a life, but a family and a country from being thrown into chaos. While it’s a bit much, she emphasizes that you’re a hero. Your name was never disclosed to the public, but they know an agent single-handedly saved the President’s son and the public opinion has improved in the Presidential Security Service.    The recognition is overwhelming and not something you ever intended, but not something you particularly despise.    “If there’s anything that you ever need, tell me, okay? Remember to take care of yourself too. I understand if you want to take a break and rest up after all that. It must’ve been traumatizing. I’ll let your father know if you want to take a vacation….”   You fiddle with your fingers. “Actually, I was wondering where Taehyung was.”    For the most part, you were fine and if anything, you were more curious on how he was handling it all.   The woman gently smiles again. “He’s at this hospital right now.”   “Can I visit him?”   “You most certainly can.”   //   He is a prisoner. And he doesn’t understand why he’s being punished.   Kim Taehyung crosses his arms and pouts like a petulant child, sitting on the edge of the bed. He would’ve personally ripped out the IVs in his arms, but he doesn’t do needles, so he had wailed painfully until the nurse came and took it out for him.   “Get me out of here!” he screams at the top of his lungs. The white walls and maybe the shadow outside hears his plea. “I’m more traumatized from being in here!”   He’s been under intensive questioning, assessed both physically and mentally, forced to speak to three different therapists. Taehyung’s not as scarred as they think he is. He doesn’t need any recovery when there was nothing to recover from. He was perfectly fine, especially considering when deep down he knew you’d come for him. There was nothing to be afraid of.   You always end up showing up again. He just has to wait.   A few minutes….a few hours….or a few years.   You always come back.   But at the moment he’s too impatient. Enough is enough. Taehyung jumps to his feet and marches to the door, sliding it open.   Park Jimin blocks his way.   “Taehyung,” he whines his name, reluctant and timid with every movement. “You’re not allowed to leave.”   “Just let me go!” he demands in exasperation.   The dark-haired bodyguard is at a loss, trying to get the other to sympathize with his situation. “I…..I’ll get in trouble.”   “No one has to know….”   The two of them are whispering as if someone can hear, lingering in between the room and the corridor. The gates to freedom are so close, yet too far. “But they’ll find out. I’m sorry, Taehyung. I was given specific duties. You know that. I’m not allowed…..I can’t go against them.”   There’s a held silence.   Taehyung isn’t amused whatsoever and he narrows his eyes, words full of spite. “You know….you’re unbearable sometimes.”   “Yeah….” Jimin’s head slumps like he knows, lips pulling to the floor. “I’m sorry.”   “What...are you doing?” You’re standing at the end of the white hallway lit by fluorescent lights. Both Jimin and Taehyung whip their heads over, the former taking a sigh of relief at the sight of you and the latter with a grin expanding into his cheeks.   “Fuck! About time, dumbo! Where were you?! I’ve been trapped for five hours!”   You approach with crossed arms, peeking inside the room momentarily. Of course he has his own private hospital room on the highest floor of the entire building. But you notice that the bed sheets are crumpled, chair pushed over haphazardly, tissue box on the floor — evidence that he threw one hell of a tantrum. You give him an incredulous look.   He smiles, suddenly on his best behaviour. “Are you gonna come in?”   Jimin looks at you like you’re his saviour.   The door shuts, finally just you and him. “Are you okay?” Your eyes sweep up and down his figure. He’d make a joke about your staring, but he’s too irritated by the question.    “Yes, I’m fine,” he groans. “People keep asking me that. I’m not traumatized, okay? I don’t need any sort of recovery. I wasn’t injured. I’m not shocked or anything. I’m breathing, normal, alive.”   “You were kidnapped, Taehyung.”   “For like...two hours,” he points outs. “And they didn’t even do anything to me. I was going to talk my way out of it anyways. You don’t have to be so worried. I’m more worried about you.” He tugs on the hem of your jacket, pulling you gently until you give in, falling into the spot by his side. The mattress dips under your weight. “Doesn’t your wrist hurt?”   At the mention of it, your own hand circles your other wrist, rolling it around once without feeling any aches or pains. “It healed weeks ago.”   “Yeah….well….I was just...worried.” He gazes at you through his lashes. The soft lighting makes the edges of him glow. His voice is also strangely husky around the edges. You’re uncomfortable with how intimate it is.    “You shouldn’t be. I’m used to it.”   He scoffs lightly. “You always like to act like you’re tough — you know it’s okay if you aren't, right? It doesn’t mean you’re weak.” It’s quiet, the words sinking in. “Even if you’ve experienced worse things, it doesn’t make this one any less dangerous or scary.”   You swallow hard, tearing your eyes away from him to stare at the door instead. “I’m sorry.”   The corner of his mouth curls. “What for?”   “I was supposed to protect you and I let that happen to you.”   “You saved me, you idiot.”   “I shouldn’t have let it happen in the first place. I shouldn’t have let you out of my sight and I’m-….I’m….nervous,” you admit in a murmur and you hate it. You absolutely detest being this vulnerable when you’ve sworn to trample any signs of weakness. It goes against every cell in your body, but it’s the truth — a truth that you don’t want to shoulder alone. “I’m nervous it’s going to happen again. I keep getting startled at the smallest things. I don’t...think that’s normal.”   “It’s okay.” His arm wraps around your shoulder, pulling you in for a friendly hug. You don’t jump on instinct or lean back as you usually would. You allow yourself to relax into his hold, leaning against his chest, letting him close the distance between you two. It’s nice having this sort of comfort — you’re not sure when the last time you were hugged. “It’s okay if that happens. It’s okay to be nervous or scared.”   But even so, it goes against everything you’ve been taught at a young age.   “Aren’t you scared?” you murmur the question and had he not been so close, he would’ve missed it entirely.    “A little,” Taehyung admits too. “It kind of felt surreal when it happened….my adrenaline was pumping. I think my survival instincts kicked in — I was talking a lot to them. But I don’t remember exactly what I said or what happened….it was kind of an out-of-body experience...you know?”   “Yeah. I get that.”   Taehyung smiles and pats your backside once. It’s the first time he’s comforting you and it’s odd considering when that was your job when he always cried as a kid. Granted, you never did a good job — having looked down at him while telling him to get up again and that tripping wasn’t going to kill him.   It always made Taehyung cry harder.   “You were so cool,” he hums like it even means anything. “When you untied yourself and stole the gun….I keep thinking your talent is wasted on me. You should be a spy or something. You’d be good at it.”   “I’ve already done my part,” you tell him. “I wanted to go home.”   He hums another soothing note from deep inside his chest and you hear how his heart rate quickens in pace. You finally pull yourself away before it gets too weird. He’s reluctant to let go, but does so anyhow while you compose yourself with a deep breath.   “Hey…” Taehyung pipes up, staring at you with those intense eyes again. “If you ever wanna talk to me about something, you should. Don’t keep it inside.”   “Yeah, okay.”   “Or talk to a doctor,” he suggests with a smile. “They’re probably more qualified than I am.” Taehyung hops up to his feet, stretching his arms above his head, trying to act all casual after the heart-to-heart conversation. He groans, getting the kinks out of his shoulders before spinning around with a mischievous expression. “Should we ditch?”   “You’re supposed to stay here for the night.”   He pouts childishly, bottom lip jutted out when he doesn’t get his way. “I don’t wanna. They already poked me with a whole bunch of stuff and asked me a million questions. It’s suffocating being in here.”   “What if—”   “What if nothing. Nothing’s going to happen.” He shrugs. “You and I both know that. The entire city is on high alert and the perpetrators are already caught. No one’s gonna kidnap the President’s son twice in one night. And you’re off duty, aren’t you?” Taehyung’s eyes sweep you from head to toe, brow quirked at your casual attire as he discreetly smirks. “It’s not like you’d get in trouble if we hang out after your working hours.”   “Me being off duty might be permanent at this rate.”   He’s alarmed at your remark. “You’re getting fired?!”   “No. Your stepmom saved me from that.”   “She did?”   You nod, much to his surprise. “She saved me, but I’ve been thinking about things and….maybe I should resign, Taehyung. I’ve caused a lot of issues and I don’t want to give...chief a headache. I want to be treated like everyone else and if I was, I think I would’ve been removed a long time ago.” The last thing you want is to be a burden and you don’t want to be saved anymore, to cheat the system for self-preservation when you’d rather accept responsibility.   “If it were anyone else, they would’ve been at the podium at the press conference,” he says. “If it were anyone else, they would’ve gotten a metal. Your dad’s just really harsh on you to a point where I don’t even understand and it upsets me.”   You look up at him, exhaling. Taehyung’s tone softens, eyes saddened. “Can I make a selfish request, Y/N?”   “Depends on what it is.”   “I know I said you’re better off somewhere else...but still...I want you to stay. Not forever. But just a little longer,” he asks and it’s shy and earnest. Taehyung’s hand drops to his side awkwardly after brushing back the blonde strands of his hair. He musters an embarrassed laugh. “Honestly, you’re my only friend and probably the biggest reason I haven’t run off yet.”   You don’t get it.   You’ve done nothing for him. You don’t even openly offer him the friendship that he so desperately desires — you can’t comprehend why you’re the reason he stays. “What’s so special about me?”   “I don’t know.” He shrugs. “A lot of things. It’s not because we grew up together. Maybe a little has to do with that. But you just make it a lot more….bearable for me. I look forward to seeing you. Every day.”   He’s ashamed, cheeks glowing pink, looking away. It’s the first time he’s shown you something aside from outright boldness. You muse that it’s a night of firsts and you savour the glimpse of sincerity that you see. “I don’t want to make this weird, alright, dumbo? And I’m not saying I like you like that. I just know that you listen to me and that you’re loyal. This might be a job to you and you probably think I’m annoying as hell on most days or that I’m a spoiled brat, but I know you actually give a fuck about me. You care. Unlike a lot of other people. And it’s all I...wanted. I like your company. And if you’re gone, I wouldn’t know what to do.”   You stare. It’s another first — the first time you’re really seeing him.   Taehyung’s not just a troublemaking boy who’s caused you a lot of your childhood gripes and headaches. There’s someone deeper in front of you, someone that’s not a chore or purposely a nuisance, someone human.   You stand to your feet. “So...where are we going?”   Taehyung grins. “I’ll lead the way.”   Jimin is surprised to see the both of you exiting, insisting that he shouldn’t leave when it goes against the rules he was specifically instructed by Seokjin. But Jimin gives in when you convince him otherwise, easily giving up when it’s two pinned against one. He follows behind, ducking away into the stairwell when the police walk past. There are more guards lingering around the halls in case something suspicious were to happen. But luckily, Jimin takes one for the team and diverts their attention while the pair of you slip away.   “For the record though, I don’t think you’re an annoying, spoiled brat.”   “Really?” Taehyung chirps, turning his head as you walk down the street. Without bodyguards, suits, camera flashes, you’re just normal people. No one would notice that he’s a descendant of one of the most important people in the country.   “Only sometimes.”    Taehyung melts into another grin, curiosity making his irises glimmer. “Like when?”   “When you give the bodyguards hell when I’m gone and you demand I come back.”   “It’s a great strategy that has proven to work.” He winks and you scoff.   “I’m not a toy, alright?   “You’re not. But if you were, you’d be my favourite.”   Your eyes roll, not taking it as a compliment and certainly not impressed by the lame pick-up line. “I think you know deep down how childish you are.”   Taehyung shrugs. “It’s fun. Why not? Life’s too short to take seriously. You should take that advice for yourself, dumbo. I remember when you were just a wee-child—”   “I’m a year older than you—” you interject.   He outright ignores you. “—and you wouldn’t even join the kids on the playground. You were reading an instruction manual your dad told you to read and he only gave you that to get you to go away when he was doing work.”   You can’t recall the memory, surprised that he does. But based on what you hear, you don’t really want to remember it. “Where are we going exactly, Taehyung?”   There’s a sparkle in his eye that makes you want to sigh. “Go-kart racing. Ever been?”   “No. And no. Do you even have a driver’s license?”   The question is answered when he pulls it out for the teenager who’s working at the center. Your worries are at least eased somewhat when you see him get strapped in with a hard helmet and a proper seat belt. You’d sit beside him just in case something goes wrong, but he told you to get your own kart and wouldn’t give it up.   It’s a terribly immature and childish game, but with Taehyung’s excitement, you let loose, allowing yourself to enjoy it. Even if it’s just for a second.   The music blares above you. There’s two other adults here at this ungodly hour to enjoy their own fun, but Taehyung’s the loudest and most obnoxious person in the building. He hollers, firing up the atmosphere and his energy is infectious. The boy also ignites your competitive spirit after egging you on and you end up racing against each other.   Taehyung turns around often to mock you, sticking out his tongue, and he swears when you overtake him. You start to laugh when he switches strategies and tries to crash into you, doing anything possible as long as you don’t win first place.   “Hey! Excuse me!” The teenager is shouting at the rails. “You’re not supposed to crash into each other! This isn’t bumper cars!”   “Sorry!” Taehyung yells back, but he’s not in fact sorry when he tries it again.   In the moment, you’re reminded of something that you let slip through your mind.   He’s not the President. He’s the President’s son. But even then, he’s just a guy — Kim Taehyung, who enjoys simple things, who doesn’t want anything to do with the limelight, who’d rather stay out of the spotlight and in the audience, sitting next to you.   “Hey, dumbo!”   “What?!” You scream, the roar of the motors and noise of the music too deafening. “I can’t hear you!”   “Thank you!”    “What?”   While you can’t hear him, he screams it again. With all the sincerity he can muster. “Thank you!”    Taehyung slams the gas pedal, going as fast as he can to let the wind blow into his clouding eyes, hoping it can dry them up before he starts to cry.   Truth be told, Taehyung remembers everything. He remembers every word he said, every little action they did, down to the odor of the abandoned warehouse. More importantly, he remembers you appearing in front of him, staring at him, standing in front of him, extending an arm to help him stand again when he was going out of his mind, scared beyond belief.   And he can still remember how his arm wrapped around your shoulders, how you leaned into his tender touch, how his own pulse mysteriously skipped a beat. It’s all still fresh in his mind.   But he wishes it lasted longer.

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

1/2 so i’ve been dealing with (read ignoring) an ankle/foot injury for a number of weeks/months. i kept telling myself it was fine because there’s no bruising etc and i was marathon training and had consulted with a pod who showed me how to strap etc. in reality it’s not getting better and it’s been about 10 weeks since the original injury. the marathon has been cancelled. ive pulled back on training but i think i probably need a proper rest... i’m scared that ill put on weight but ashamed that

2/2 this is my fear because i am the first to say it does not matter and weight fluctuates etc etc which i DO believe but i also have a history of anorexia and disordered eating and find change hard. also im scared of losing fitness and having to start again.. i don’t really know what my question is. tell me to take time off? going to try and get a go app & mri scan for see if there’s any visible damage to ankle/foot but don’t know that i’ll be able to with all the restrictions atm... sigh.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay hi I weirdly love that you sent me this message, don’t get me wrong that is a shitty spot to be in and I’m sending you a big hug, BUT I feel like I could have literally written this myself I resonate SO much so....hopefully because of that I can say something somewhat useful.

First of all. Take a break. I mean it. Just stop everything for like...a week to start (obviously longer is fine too, but a week might seem less terrifying at first). That doesn’t mean oh I’ll take a break from running but bike 20 miles a day...no! I am also someone who has an EXTREMELY hard time giving myself permission to rest (aside from my rest day) because I will internally debate until the end of time over whether or not it’s necessary etc. etc. and honestly I get a huge sense of relief when a medical professional tells me to take a break because I’m like oh okay cool this is literally their career they know what they are talking about and I’m listening to their advice. BUT especially if you are injured and you ARE injured from what I am hearing here even if you do not technically have the scans to prove it yet, you NEED to rest. If you keep going and pushing through the pain you are going to dig yourself deeper and deeper into the hole and it is going to take WAY longer to dig yourself out. Also, especially given your ED history, I would be extra precautious about handling injuries and ensuring proper recovery. Obviously I know literally nothing about your injury or your ED background, but I would not take a lack of bruising to mean that it’s nothing serious (I’m not trying to scare you here but I feel like sometimes we need to have someone just shove the truth in our face so here you go). If it is something like a stress fracture for instance (which again, I have NO idea the details of your issue so maybe it isn’t), then you might not *see* anything but your bones would LITERALLY BE BREAKING and the more you run on that the more you are breaking them down and the recovery could move from just needing a few weeks rest to needing surgery. Not to mention the long term damage you would be doing to your body. Something I had to really, really come to terms with after I got my stress fracture was realizing I had been underfueling for YEARS and even if I wasn’t actively trying to restrict myself, I had gotten used to not eating enough and that meant my bones were breaking down more and more every. single. day. and it is easiest to build bone density when you are young and gets progressively more difficult as you age so the choices you make today are going to affect you deeply in the future. It’s easy to see it as just one extra run or one skipped snack but the truth is that for those of us who buy into those things we never really stop at one, and all of those “just this one time”s add up. And it’s not good. This past summer I forced myself to take a week off of literally everything not because anything was physically wrong but because I realized I was exercising way too much and significantly undereating and I knew I was on the fast track to hurting myself and causing long term damage.

To your second point about fear of gaining weight- first of all I have so, so, so much respect for you for being able to admit that fear because realistically a lot of us have it, I certainly dealt with it when I was injured, and even if we rationally know that in the grand scheme of things it ~doesn’t matter~ the truth is that coming from an ED background the thought of weight gain is probably going to cause some anxiety! like you said I could talk all day about why gaining weight doesn’t matter and you are more than a number etc. etc. but you and I both already know that. Maybe this is a problematic approach that I’m about to share but honestly if someone had told me this when I first found out about my stress fracture it probably would have relieved anxiety and especially given these wild times I think relieving anxiety is prob a good thing- when I had my stress fracture I didn’t workout for four months. Literally NOTHING. no cross training. no swimming. no biking. no walks. I was on crutches. I literally had to be driven to class. My activity level was at a -12. I ate almost exactly the same as when I wasn’t injured (which, led me to learn I was DEFINITELY under eating), and I gained MAYBE like....5 pounds or less (or maybe none at all it honestly was probably 99% in my head). Literally not enough for anyone at ALL to notice except for me because my pants felt a tiny bit tighter. This honestly made me question a lot of things. For one, I knew I needed to really up my intake when I was allowed to be active again. Two, I started to reallllly question WHY I felt the need to do all this activity if being completely inactive didn’t lead to my body changing much. It made me realize how much I underlyingly relied on exercise to micromanage my body. It was a lot to think about.

ALSO. I didn’t get my period regularly for about 4 years and once that stress fracture hit I made it my MISSION to get it back (and I did!) because that is a huge red flag and I knew that if I wasn’t getting it, that once my bone healed even if I was cleared to run again I was just on track to get another injury because sure maybe THAT injury healed but my shitty bones were still shitty and that meant another injury was just as likely. I decided that gaining a little weight (whatever that meant) was critical  because I would much rather be a few pounds heavier than constantly switching between running and injured. Also, more importantly, I want to be able to be active throughout my whole life and if your bones are shit at 21 (when I got my stress fracture) you are probably going to be really f**ked once you are actually the age that people’s bones start to deteriorate. 

The most important thing I have learned is that everything you do in terms of over exercise/under eating has HUGE LONG TERM CONSEQUENCES and it is SO easy to ignore that when you are in the thick of it because often you don’t feel those consequences until years later but listen, you do not want to wait for things to get really bad before you decide to start trying to truly, properly recover.

It’s really easy to get caught in that inbetween place of not doing horribly but also definitely not feeling as free as you could when it comes to food/body stuff. Ask yourself WHY you are scared of gaining weight and like I said, operating under the assumption that we know weight gain is okay etc. etc., realistically your body is probably not going to go through some wild change if you just take a break. Think about it, most people barely exercise and they eat whatever and they are all FINE! It’s easy on the internet/social media to feel like everyone is out running 23498239432 miles and eating kale or whatever but most people really aren’t like that and they are getting along just fine.

Also, something that helped me was realizing that I really do not want to spend my whole life constantly terrified that if I eat too much or take a break or whatever my body is going to change etc. etc. and I realized that if i don’t want to spend my whole life worried about that then at SOME POINT I was going to have to just start living how I wanted to because 1. once you start living how you want to you realize the world does not in fact end and you can have your cake and eat it too (ha). and 2. you aren’t going to just suddenly wake up one day and not care about these things anymore, if you really want to be free from it you need to make a conscious effort to live the life you actually want, not the one that is stemmed in fear

In the past year I have grown SO much in terms of food/exercise. And my body has literally not changed. I was holding on so tightly to this perceived control that was entirely unnecessary. Your body is designed to want to stay generally the same (unless of course you are currently in an unhealthy spot) and when you just chill out for a sec you realize that your body is capable of doing naturally what you thought you had to be micromanaging and taking care of all along. 

I will leave you with a quote that I heard one time somewhere (how’s that for a source) “You have a lot more to gain than you do to lose”

By letting your body heal

By not making decisions out of fear of gaining weight

By eating what you want

etc.

This was long af and I may have rambled but I hope it helps. Like I said, I’m not trying to scare anyone but also sometimes feeling a little bit of that “oh shit wtf am I doing” feeling is the kick in the butt you need. (but I know it is super duper hard and I am sending you all the love and support and also hoping your foot is something minor)

So yes, take a break, talk to your dr, be super honest with them. When I had my stress fracture my dr and pt were both like ok here’s the deal- rest and eat a lot of food. so I would advise that ;)

[httpwarmth]

girl almighty // chapter seven

words: 1709

i ii iii iv v vi

a/n: does anyone still read this?? hi i’m back 

-

Time went on. Hours turned into days that turned into weeks. Uma’s crew came up with new plans to try to get themselves to Auradon but each time they failed. Uma tried to make her way over countless times but the closest she ever got was a boat. 

Now, Gatsby didn’t care about the future of her life. She was going to spend the rest of it on the isle because there was no way that she would make it to Auradon. Obviously King Ben did not want them to intermingle with the rest of the world. 

She sits in the middle of Scar’s Tattoo Parlor with Harry, someone that she had gotten closer too surprisingly. She never saw herself getting close to Harry, as he was always someone who could get under the skin. He crawled under their and made himself at home like a virus. After Gatsby’s blow up on the decks a few weeks ago, Harry wouldn’t leave her alone. One morning, he was just sitting right outside of the tattoo parlor, waiting for her. His eyes lit up when he saw her walking up.

“What happened?” She asked, sticking in the key to open up the shop, staring down at the boy. She often opened up the shop, being the only one of Scar’s workers willing to start early mornings and stay late nights. She loved tattooing and held it close to her heart, always telling everyone who was curious that it was a different form of art. Unlike makeup, it stayed with you forever. She loved to create little pieces of artwork that would stay on her or someone for the rest of their lives, telling a story that was close to their hearts. “Did Uma kick you out?” 

“She would never.” Harry scoffed that morning. “I just decided to spend some time with ya.” He stood up, following her into the parlor like a lost puppy. 

Ever since that morning, Harry’s sat with her in the parlor. He started leaving his pirate hat and hook back on Uma’s ship. Throughout the day, he would take off his coat and make himself at home in the middle of her studio. He watches her do her work, often memorized by the way she draws out exactly what her clients wants. Whatever it is, big or small, she could always get it done with no trouble. 

Now, Harry and Gatsby both sat on stools opposite of one another. One of Gatsby’s arm was outstretched as she pointed with the other one. “You see this one?” She asks. 

She points to a tattoo near the inside of her elbow of a pair of watching eyes. They’re framed by long lashes and arched eyebrows. Below the eyes is a single black rose, complete with many thorns. “It represents my connection to my family and everything my father has gone through. Despite everything that Lefou and him had gone through, the two of them still ended up here. Not everything ends picture perfect with a happily ever after.” She mutters, before her eyes dart up to Harry. She had never seen the boy so focused. His icy blue for the first time in forever barely had any eyeliner rimmed around the edges and his eyes were wide. He sat focused and unmoving, and the fact that he was so interested in her tattoos brought a smile to her face. 

She had already shown him the majority of her tattoos, including the tattoo above the rose tattoo that was of hands stretching out for each other. They weren’t exactly touching but their fingers grazed each other. She got it for Gil, her second favorite person on this planet, after . The two of them had always strayed paths. Gil had been friends with Uma and her crew for so long while Gatsby spent most of her days with Mal and their group. 

“What about this one?” Harry interrupts her mumbling about the importance of her Gil tattoo. “What’s the backstory with this?” His fingers grazed over a small tattoo on her ring finger. She feels her cheeks flare up. 

She hated the way her warm cheeks made her feel. She felt inferior and idiotic for the fact that a man made her feel this way. For the way that Harry, out of all people, made her feel. That she was dumb for continuing to talk about the unimportant tattoos when Harry was curious about other ones. She also felt the electricity that seemed to course through her veins when Harry ran his fingers over hers. The room was silent but it sparked with an unknown factor. His hands were calloused and they rested over hers for a second before he pulled back quickly, his eyes darting up to hers. The two made eye contact and she smiled. 

“This one?” She lifts up her right hand and points to the tattoo on her ring finger. “Connects to this one.” She runs her finger up her arm to a small J, in red ink. Her only tattoo in a different color and the only tattoo that she regretted. She knew that Jay had a matching one, except his was a G. “Gave myself the broken heart a few weeks after the group left. When I realized that they really weren’t coming back for me. Sat in here in the dark with a bottle of whiskey that I found and drew a little broken heart on my ring finger.” She mutters. She can’t look at Harry because she feels the way his eyes burn onto her hand. 

“Did ya think you two would last?” He asks, quietly. “Like you were gonna marry him or something?” 

Marriage was such a hard question on the isle. It was rare that someone would get married, that there was someone that they loved enough to spend the rest of their lives with. Even if someone got married, it never lasted long. Marriage was such a trivial matter on the isle that people were so susceptible to cheating and adultery. 

“Yes.” She says after a few seconds. Gatsby thought about the way that marriage was seen here and still, she was about to say that maybe she loved him enough to spend the rest of her life with him. That had all changed now. “That was before he left me.” She whispered. 

Harry scoffs and Gatsby looks over at him. He shakes his head before scooting his stool closer to hers. “He’s an idiot, ya know? To just leave you here. For what? For a chance to just be beside bitches disguised as princess and to make himself look like a good guy when we all know that he isn’t.” He explodes, his hands moving in different directions. He takes a few breaks in-between words as he tried to figure out words that got his point across. His hands slap down onto his tattered pants before he looks up at her. It’s silent between the two for a few seconds and she notices just how close the two had gotten. The two, who had started out across from on another different stools had moved closer and closer to each other while Gatsby showed off her artwork. Both of their knees were spread apart and overlapped over one another, knocking into each other each time one of them shifted slightly. 

“I’m just sayin’. I could never leave you, princess.” The way his accent coats his words causes a shiver to run down her spine. She looks him in the eyes. The way his ocean eyes seem to sparkle and for the first time in a while, there was no hint of eyeliner around his eyes. He had discarded his jackets and accessories in the backroom somewhere and sat across from her in just a tattered tank top and matching pants. She could see the way his large muscles flexed every time he had to use his arms. Most of his life, he spent it doing physical labor and manning a ship and it showed just how strong he was. 

She watches as his eyes flick down to her lips before looking back up to her eyes. He captures his bottom lip in between his teeth and Gatsby knows that the two of them are thinking the same thing. The tattoo shop is silent, and still. The two of them the only things that moved in the large room. 

Gatsby felt as if she was in a trance as she tried to scoot closer to him, her hands resting on his knees. “You can,” She allows, leaning in close to him. She knew what the two of them wanted. “If you want.” She whispers, feeling his hot breath on hers. Her gaze slowly moving up from his lips to his eyes who stared down at hers. 

“I was waiting for the go ahead, lass.” A lazy smirk crosses his face as their two faces are so close together. Gatsby can see the small freckles that dotted his cheeks. They weren’t noticeable to the naked eye and could only have been there because of the years that the boy spent outside and in the sunlight. She had never seen Harry in this light before. As someone that she wanted to be close to, to touch and to feel him. She wants his lips on hers and to have their two bodies pressed together. She yearned the way that he could make her feel, as if she was the most important girl in the world. Only she mattered. 

Before Harry could fulfill her wants and needs, the door slams open. The ringing of the bell that stands above the door was cut short by the large wooden door slamming into the wall. Harry and Gatsby, both in a trance, jump away from each other. Harry’s stool sliding backwards a few feet. 

“Did you hear the news?” Gil bursts in, holding a crumpled up piece of paper in his hand. Uma’s behind him, annoyed that she can’t be the one to deliver the big news. “There’s a new batch going to the Isle.” He holds the paper up over his head, a smile creeping onto his face before it’s a full blown grin. 

[cyberramblings]

3DS: Time for Playtime

It's been fun getting a Wii U lately, but I wanted to look back on all the use I've gotten out of my 3DS in the last year by running down my most played games.

Super Smash Bros. - 154 Hours

This is still my most played game after recently getting back into the 3DS, despite playing zero Smash in that time. I played a lot of this game when it came out and then leading up to the release of Ultimate. This game was a godsend for someone like me who didn't own a Wii U but wanted to stay involved with the series.

Pokemon X - 56 Hours

Again, this is from when I first got my 3DS. I played this one over a whole summer vacation off and on! I still can't decide how I feel about XP Share.

Pokemon Ultra Moon - 51 Hours

Okay, this one is this high because after beating the game, my girlfriend tried to catch all the Pokemon and collect all the totem stickers. I really enjoyed this one, but the Ultra Necrozma fight kicked my butt.

Link Between Worlds - 49 Hours

I actually own the special edition Triforce 3DS which came bundled with this game! As my first game on the system, it is no surprise to see it so high, even though I got stuck on the final boss. I consider this to be one of the best Zelda games.

Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask - 41 Hours

This one makes a lot of sense. When I played all that Smash Bros before the release of Ultimate, this was the one other game I played during that time, to the point of actually beating it and a good chunk of the daily puzzles! I even missed a college lecture because I was so wrapped up in the climax.

Pokemon Alpha Sapphire - 27 Hours

Finally, a game I played recently with no shenanigans or excuses. This was an interesting "book ends" with Omega Ruby, as OR was the first Pokemon game I played in my recent endeavor to play them all, while AS was towards the end. Backwards of their names, huh?

Pokemon Omega Ruby - 26 Hours

Fitting that this game should be so close to Alpha Sapphire. I would think that one of these two games would've been left running overnight or somehow had the playtimes differ more, but it somehow makes me hapy to see them side by side. I appreciated Wally's Theme much more the second time through.

Pokemon Y - 23 Hours

Considerably less than the time I spent in X all those years ago. This was one of the last Pokemon games I played in my recent playing of all the games, since I had already technically beaten X. It was a lot of fun to revisit though, and I love Sylveon!

Ocarina of Time 3D - 21 Hours

This one also makes sense, since I owned it during my original teenage years of owning the 3DS. I can't believe I paid 40 bucks for this just to get stuck on the Forest Temple for years! OoT doesn't resonate with me the same way as everyone else seemingly.

Pokemon Red - 19 Hours

Again, this makes sense. I think this was the third game of my recent Pokemon marathon, right after Alpha Sapphire and Ultra Moon. It was a short run thanks to an overlevelled Venasaur and the three legendary birds. I enjoyed crushing this game.

Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy - 16 Hours

This is the game I just finished. I love the series and it was nice to finish it out. I think the ending was silly but the presentation value was nice to see.

Pushmo - 14 Hours

This was my go-to breakfast game for weeks, but phone-scrolling has replaced it as my morning activity while eating.

Shovel Knight - 14 Hours

This used to be the premiere downloadable title on 3DS. I think this game still holds up, but it has lost the sheer novelty of being a Kickstarter retro success over time.

Shin Megami Tensei IV - 13 Hours

I liked Persona 4 so I thought I would like this. It was too difficult for me back then, but now I don't have the patience. This was one of the games I actually paid 15 bucks to download back in highschool.

Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate - 13 Hours

The first of my several attempts to get into Monster Hunter. I bought, played, quit, and sold this game all back in high school. I would later go on to buy, try, and sell Monster Hunter World as well. It just isn't for me.

Metroid: Samus Returns - 12 Hours

I tried and hated this game on PC emulator, but it has a lot more charm on the actual system. I still generally dislike the melee mechanic but I generally enjoyed this game. It helps that I even beat the original first! Hopefully Dread fixes the few things wrong with this game.

Kid Icarus: Uprising - 12 Hours

I don't know if I ever fell in love with the "unique" control scheme of this game, but I definitely fell in love with all of the characters! This was a great one to play with my girlfriend watching. It's also great to have more of a context for Pit, Palutena, and Dark Pit in Smash now!

Pokemon Sun - 11 Hours

I haven't beaten it yet, whoops.

Rhyhm Heaven Megamix - 11 Hours

One of the last purchases I made before the Switch came out and killed my 3DS playing nearly permanently. I paid 30 bucks! As much as I love this game, I don't know if it was worth that.

Super Mario 3D Land - 10 Hours

A rare game that I played before AND after the rift of me playing 3DS. It's...fine. Definitely Mario.

Picross 3D: Round 2 - 9 Hours

I have always loved Picross and this is no exception. I really should dive back in sometime!

Animal Crossing: New Leaf - 8 Hours

I just can't get into it, I've tried but I can't.

Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright - 8 Hours

This was actually a birthday gift! I was very excited for the concept but hugely turned off by the time travel and setting. I need to give it another shake, perhaps after replaying some of the Ace Attorney games.

Resident Evil The Mercenaries 3D - 7 Hours

One of my few highschool digital purchases. I played a lot of Mercenaries in 6 and 5 (which this is based on, seemingly). It's...fine. But I should have just replayed Revelations on 3DS instead.

Theatrhythm Final Fantasy - 6 Hours

It was 7 bucks at GameStop used, so I guess I almost got a 1:1 ratio of hours to dollars. I would've enjoyed this game more now, after playing FF7 Remake.

Pokemon Picross - 6 Hours

Free AND Picross? Yes, but also grindy and scummy. I wish you could just buy a physical copy of this game with everything unlocked.

Paper Mario Sticker Star - 5 Hours

Ten dollars on clearance was too much for this game. Maybe I will try it again sometime knowing ahead of time that it is a joke of a video game. I spit on this game's grave.

Mario Tennis Open - 5 Hours

A lot of the games I acquired within the last year have much lower playtimes, so I was not expecting to see this game this high. I guess I played a few tournaments. I feel like I quit because Waluigi cheated, then played just the tutorial of Mario Golf before quitting that too.

Elite Beat Agents - 4.5 Hours

This game rules.

Tetris Axis - 4.5 Hours

This game drools.

Kirby Planet Robobot - 4.5 Hours

Cute game, but I only play it with my girlfriend.

New Super Mario Brothers 2 - 4.5 Hours

I am surprised it is this low considering I got stuck on the final boss in single player and beat around 2 worlds in coop.

Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward - 4 Hours

I need to play more!

Super Smash Brothers Demo - 4 Hours

Hell yeah this was such an exciting time to be a Nintendo fan! Trying to get ahold of this demo was like getting a Willy Wonk golden ticket. I was so excited to play as Mega Man, Villager, Mario, Link, and Pikachu even if just on Battlefield.

Kingdom Hearts 3D - 3.5 Hours

A surprisingly competent action RPG. This game kind of reeks as part of the PS4 collection, but it really shines on the original version.

Layton's Mystery Journey - 3 Hours

I like the idea of playing as Layton's daughter, but I don't like having a talking dog and an insufferable simp as sidekicks. I hope the next game just returns to the original crew.

Mario Kart 7 - 3 Hours

It's...Mario Kart. Not a ton more to say.

Mario Party Island Tour - 3 Hours

I have trouble keeping the different 3DS Mario Party games separate in my mind, but anything that's not Top 100 is fun with friends. Top 100 only has one, miserable board! Why???

Ultimate NES Remix - 3 Hours

A great game for pick up and play, but not for long sessions.

Art of Balance Touch - 3 Hours

Recently got into this. Tons of fun until the difficulty gets a little too high!

Warioware Gold - 2.5 Hours

I completely beat this game and it is still this low. Fun, but hard to recommend at any price but free.

Luigi's Mansion 2 - 2.5 Hours

Cute game....but feels hard to play for more than 20 minutes at a time.

Dead or Alive Dimensions - 2.5 Hours

Again, all I did was beat the game and then quit. Surprsingly competent for a 3DS fighting game, but too barebones with content compared to Smash.

Boxboy - 2.5 Hours

I feel like I played this game way more. It's cute and fun, but now I have a hard time picking up the puzzles where I left them.

Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate Demo - 2.5 Hours

This tricked me into buying the game! Dangit

Mario Party Star Rush - 2.5 Hours

Oh god, I can't keep this one and Island Tour straight.

Pokemon Shuffle - 2 Hours

I feel like I played this one way more, but that is probably because the phone version also exists.

VVVVVV - 2 Hours

Beat the whole game! Not a bad way to spend time, but this makes it worth only 2 dollars according to my 1:1 ratio of dollars to hours.

Final Fantasy Explorers - 2 Hours

I like some things about this game but I just cannot play anything related to Monster Hunter.

Tri Force Heroes - 2 Hours

This suffers from "Overcooked syndrome" where you have to rely on your teammates so much that it becomes a total chore.

Theatrythm Final Fantasy Curtain Call - 1.5 Hours

I played that much just to unlocked multiplayer.

Super Street Fighter IV - 1.5 Hours

I think I paid for this game full price back in high school and then barely played it. I've always tried to delude myself into thinking that I can play real fighting games that are not Smash.

Hatsune Miku Project Mirai DX - 1.5 Hours

Again, I feel like I played this game for days and days. I suppose rhythm games feel like time slows down when you play them. Thumbs up for including Puyo Puyo! I am surprised this game released in the West at all.

Rune Factory 4 - 1.5 Hours

I got this far as a favor to a friend. I just can't play any game where there is an optimal way to act that sounds exhausting but possible to me. I know I could easily talk to all the NPC's every day... but I do not want to.

Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate - 1.5 Hours

This was exclusively played with friends. Not a fan.

Pokemon Rumble World - 1.5 Hours

Free games. Novelty as a kid. No time for them as an adult. Nothing about this game is appealing beyond the price point.

Attack of the Friday Monster - 1.5 Hours

My biggest memory of this game is playing it on the schoolbus when a little kid asked if he could play/watch and I told him I was playing a boring game that he wouldn't like. As cute as this game is, yes, it is boring and not very fun.

Sonic Generations - 1.5 Hours

I somewhat enjoyed this game until the Shadow boss fight. Can't figure it out. Not fun.

Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn - 1.5 Hours

Cute, played it with girlfriend.

Super Mario Land 2 - 1 Hour

I think I got this with Club Nintendo points?

Rage of the Gladiator - 1 Hour

Medieval offbrand Punch-Out.

Mario Party: The Top 100 - 1 Hour

ONE BOARD?!? At least it has the storybook minifame from gamecube Mario Party.

Trace Memory - 1 Hour

Bought used from GameStop. I was told it was a hidden gem, but I didn't have the patience.

Mario and Sonic Rio 2016 - 1 Hour

Cute game to play with friends but some of the minigames suck. Thumbs up for less common Sonic characters.

Azure Striker Gunvolt - 1 Hour

Not bad, just helped me realize that I don't really like Mega Man style games all that much. The genre of "Mega Man" just feels like a Metroid with no exploration or meaningful progression.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon - 1 Hour

I tried to get into this franchise but it is so booooorring and slow and unappealing to me.

I've been rounding to the half hour, so the next game is Zelda Oracle of Season at 44 minutes, which would round down to half an hour. I will take that as my cue to finish here.

In conclusion: games I owned longer tended to be played longer. Shocker. This was all just an excuse to ramble about Nintendo games anyways.

[zainab1x1s]

▲ five time my muse thought about kissing yours, and the one time they did. agan jovia thanks

Five times Josh thought about kissing Olivia “Liv” Roberts, and one time he did.

i.

Okay, so he knows it’s stupid or whatever to want to kiss her right after they just met. Which is why he’s not going to do it. I mean, not that he isn’t stupid, because there are a couple of guys on the football team that have witnessed things that can’t be unseen, but he’s not going to be stupid anymore. Well, at least not when it comes to this. Because he thinks he might actually like her, you know? And, to be honest with you, he doesn’t know exactly what that means, or even if it’s going to lead anywhere, but he’s not about to mess up his shot within the first meeting.

He’s gotta be honest, though - it wasn’t the easiest. Because she was just sitting there, talking about him falling in love with her while he was locked away in prison and romanticizing her through her letters, and at some points their heads were too close together to be doing anything but kissing, and it was all a bit disorienting, if he was real with you.

The only thing that stopped him was the realization that he still had to go to football practice, and the inability to convince himself that his coach would accept talking to a very cute girl as an excuse for being late that. And even that barely stopped him. Josh kept talking to her as he stood up and shuffled toward his gym bag, his eyes not leaving her for a second. Even when she convinced him to get off of the bleachers and run through the field, Josh barely jogged, still laughing and talking and looking back as he eventually sped up.

He wanted to keep talking to her. He wanted to hear about her dumb hypothetical scenarios where he ended up the pining idiot (which, as time went by, began looking less and less hypothetical). He wanted to kiss her, and it was pretty hard trying to convince himself not to.

It was worth it, though. He probably shouldn’t have been so sure of that right away, but he was. He liked hearing her talk too much for it to not be.

ii.

Josh had almost a schedule, which was saying something for someone who sort of did everything haphazardly. but his almost schedule went a little like this: Monday through Wednesday he for sure spent with the football team, unless someone else specifically asked to sit with them, and then he sat with them because, like, he’s not an asshole. Friday he sometimes sat with the football team, but only if they were going out later that night or there was a game and they needed to plan pre-party shit. Otherwise, he was on the far right bleachers with just him and his sandwich.

Thursday, though. Thursday was a god’s day. Thursday Josh had always spent by himself, every single time, without fail. If anyone asked, he just told them he had something planned. The football team had fallen out of the habit of asking, knowing that he was always, always, going to pick his turkey sandwich and the far right bleachers over them every time. He needed that day to pull himself out of the stupid facade that was Badlands Prep, needed time to get away from things that people kept treating as important or ground-shattering. Thursday was his alone day.

Which is why he couldn’t understand why the girl from the other day was walking over to him right that second.

“So,” she said as she sat down, as if she hadn’t just interrupted a boy mid-bite of a sandwich and clearly isolating himself. “I realized I never finished going over the theories with you the other day, and my dad brought up a good one today at breakfast this morning that I really think you’d appreciate.”

As Liv went on about her theory - which was that he was in a very elaborate game of truth or dare, one of which being that he had to pretend that he was a museum statue that had somehow gotten out - Josh tried his best to surreptitiously swallow the morsel in his mouth and came across a striking realization.

He was having a really good time. Like, actually, a really good, non-exhausting time.

And the more she talked about his inability to control himself, the more he wanted to kiss her.

“Right? Because you seem like the kind of guy that would get carried away with that kind of thing.”

Josh only nodded, a huge smile on his face. “Yeah, uh. You’re right about that.” He handed her half of his sandwich, a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. “But have you considered this theory?”

They talked until the bell rang, and barely made it time for class.

iii.

They had spent too long flirting to not finally go on some kind of date. Along the same vein, they spent way too long talking about the different ways they could break into the MOMA to not go there for their first official date.

He felt almost nervous. He felt like he should have been nervous. They literally met because her dad arrested him for being cross-faded and breaking into their date spot in the middle of the night. He insisted on driving his clunky, atrocious, cherry red car through New York streets, and it was pulled up in front of her apartment building. He was standing in front of her door either severely underdressed or severely overdressed, considering they never discussed a dress code, and he had no idea who was going to open it. And yet, he wasn’t the least bit nervous.  

Maybe Liv had cast a spell on him. Some kind of un-nervous-ifying, un-exhausting, unable-to-stop-smiling-until-his-face-physically-hurt kind of spell. It only made sense.

And when she opened the door, Josh realized it was the only logical explanation.

She appeared in what must have been a haze of glory, but was more likely just Josh being able to focus on anything except her. She was beautiful. She was more than beautiful. Beautiful didn’t even begin describing how she looked. She was art, and Josh could only think of two things.

One: How could he have possibly gone this long without knowing her, dating her, doing this?

And two: How much he really wanted to kiss her right then.

Instead, he only stuck out his arm, already feeling his cheeks hurting from smiling too much, and said, “Ready to go? MOMA’s not gonna break into itself and all.”

iv.

Time was always a weird concept for Josh. When he was running - on the field, from the cops, anything that got his heart pumping - time kicked into hyperdrive. He was moving at the speed of light suddenly, laughter trailing behind him. When he was drunk - like, really drunk - time moved in sort of jump cuts, from one moment to another with no connection between the two. Trying to be sober when you really wanted to be drunk was like being frozen in time, like moving through molasses, except not moving at all. Parties themselves existed in a world outside of time, a weird subsection that didn’t fall under any of the above. 

He had, however, never experienced the slowing of time. And it seemed he kind of liked it.

The date couldn’t have been more than an hour or two in, and every moment felt like a lifetime, holding a million conversations per each minute that went by. He was on autopilot, but not in the sense that he had checked out. Rather, the words and stories and laughter spilled so easily from his mouth he didn’t even have to stop to think about them. Everything about Liv seemed more and more unreal.

It took everything in him not to kiss her. Like, he knew he said that a lot that day, but wow was it real this time. Because every time she moved, laughed, shook her head and smiled at his awful jokes, it was in slow motion. Like every sign in the world was telling Josh that this was his chance, that he had to seize it before it ended, and he was going to do it, too. He had to, right? 

But then she burst out laughing at a naked statue’s penis and the mood quickly shifted. 

Maybe that was for the best.

v.

The night came to a close before either of them could fully accept it, with reluctant “I should probably bring you back now, right?”s and “it’s getting late, my dad might wonder where I am”s stumbling over each other on their way to the realization that the date had to end at some point.

“One of these days,” Josh said with a striking amount of confidence as he walked Liv back up to her apartment, “I’m taking you somewhere better.”

Liv only raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Somewhere better than the MOMA? The world-famous MOMA?”

Josh was diligent in his answer, not missing a beat. “Yep.” He stopped to look at her for a second, smiling like an idiot before adding, “maybe I’ll take you to The Louvre.”

“The Louvre?”

“Yeah. The Louvre.”

“Sounds expensive,” was all she said. “What if the trip there puts you in debt, and then we’re stuck in France forever?”

“Then I’ll take up a job at a street performer,” he said with an amazing amount of conviction. 

This brought out a chuckle in her. “Can you even street perform?”

Josh shrugged. “I mean, how hard can it be?” Freezing in his tracks, Josh began a poor, almost comical mime-in-the-box presentation. He bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing as he resumed his position Liv’s side. “See? We’ll be fine.”

An even louder laugh this time. “Okay, it’s settled. We’re doomed. We’re going to be stuck in Paris forever with no way of getting home, all because you tried to one up the MOMA.”

They had reached Liv’s apartment, and they were both stalling for time and were completely aware of the fact. Josh released her hand so that she could unlock the door, but leaned forward until their heads were nearly touching again. “If it helps,” he said, his eyes lighting up as he spoke, “there are worse things than being stuck in Paris with a cute girl named Liv.”

He should have kissed her, but he didn’t. He had bigger plans.

vi.

Driving back to the MOMA and then driving around looking for a dollar store in his dumb, clunky car was the worst idea Josh had ever had. Well, maybe not the worst, because Josh has had some pretty stupid ideas, but it was up there, for sure. It was all for a dumb, stupid, dorky joke that she probably wasn’t even going to find that funny, but he had to do it, you know? He couldn’t not do it.

When he returned to his door, he found his heart pounding like it was about to beat out of his chest. He held the picture in the cheap ornate frame closer to his chest, as if it could quell the sound of his heartbeat. When she opened the door, though, a gigantic grin spread across his face like it was instinct, like that was his body’s natural reaction to just seeing her.

God, he was fucking wrecked.

“What are you doing?” Liv said slowly, but as her eyes fell on the picture frame, a small smile of realization spread across her face, and she covered her mouth with her hand.

“Well, I thought I’d get you something from the MOMA. As a date present,” Josh said, outstretching his hands and presenting the picture in all its glory. “Don’t worry, I didn’t steal it.” He gave her an overdramatic wink and then added, “I just bought it from the gift shop and threw it in a cheap frame.” Another dramatic wink.

Liv was already on the verge of belly laughter, he could tell.

“I-” she began to say something, but instead took the picture and sat it on a wall behind the door. When she turned back, the two of them wore matching ear-to-ear smiles, not needing to say anything - not being able to find anything that would quite communicate what they were feeling for each other in that moment.

And that was when he kissed her. And, okay, maybe it was too soon, and maybe it was stupid, but it also would’ve been stupid if he didn’t kiss her. He had to do it, you know? There wasn’t an option this time.

And when her hands found their way to Josh’s hair, and their teeth clanked together from smiling so hard, and his arms wrapped around her waist, Josh realized that (for what might have been the first time in his life) his gut instinct was right.