#i am on this ship in all its fucked up glory

[eirenical]

These are STUNNING and I recognized the first two immediately. They're by "皮一下打不着再皮一下真的" on Xiaohongshu and the two pictures in question are: 【刀花】(comb your hair) and 【刀花】大婚1 (Wedding 1)

The third one, I'm sad to say my reverse image search capabilities have failed me and I can't find it. OP, do you have a link to that one?

There was a post about a ship between Li Xiangyi and Shan Gudao and this is what i picture in my mind

Tell me i'm not the only one

(credit to the artists)

[celtigxr]

The Pink Dread (Master List) - - - - - ch. i : Return of the Crabs

Chapter Summary: Valeana Celtigar and her family return to King's Landing after receiving a personalized invitation from King Viserys. She is filled with dread; Val doesn't know how she is going to face Aemond Targaryen after all he had done to her...

Word Count: 3460 

PLEASE READ THE PROLOGUE BEFORE READING CHAPTER 1

Sneak Peak: “Blink, sister,” the tall presence of her brother approached from behind her. Clement bowed over her shoulder, “He isn’t going to appear out of nowhere if you blink.” She blinked, not because he told her to, but because she didn’t realize she wasn’t until he spoke. Valeana looked down at her white knuckles, “I don’t want to be here.”

Warnings: Insults, swearing.

T H E   R E D S

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"I said tighter," Floris seethed, her fingers curling around the wooden column as her maid pulled the laces of her bodice. 

"I am trying, my lady," the little maid said, her fringe stuck to her sweaty brow. The poor thing was trying to keep her footing as the ship rocked to and fro against the tides of Blackwater Bay. 

"You're clearly not trying enough," Floris spat as she threw her a look over her shoulder. "Perhaps I should get a sailor to do it, they seem to have a better grip when pulling on ropes."

Valaena let out a short, loud, laugh from the floor where she sat. 

"What are you laughing about?" Floris casted her eyes at her step sister briefly.

"Nothing, sister," Val bit her lip to contain her smile, eyes concentrating on her task at hand. She looked up at her other sister, who's skirt she was trying to mend. "Shyla, I'm going to need you to stop moving." 

"I can't!" Shyla squealed as she nearly lost her footing on the stool she was balancing on. Her hands were firmly planted on another wooden pillar, trying to keep her balance with the waves that rocked the ship. However, it resulted in her hips moving around and thus swishing around the skirt that Val was trying to mend. 

"Fuck!" Val cursed when her needle slipped and landed in the pad of her finger. Curling her lip into her teeth, she let out a frustrated growl and then sucked on her finger. "This is the last time I'm helping you. This wasn't a dress meant for you to travel in, Shyla." 

"But it is so pretty, I couldn't wait to wear it!"

"And now you've ruined it," Floris added in frustration. Her maid was starting to lace further up her back, pinching her shoulder blades as she did.

"Not on purpose!"

Val rolled her eyes, "Everyone and the Seven warned you not to run on deck." 

Shyla rarely listened. The dress lasted all of two hours before Shyla went running around the deck, which was still sleek from being waxed. She went sliding down the ship on her heel, and the intricate hemming of her brand new gown caught a splinter in the wood and tore the work Valeana had put into it the week prior

Val inhaled deeply and sighed steadily through her nose, deciding to make quick work of the damage, instead of trying to bring back the hem to its former glory. She had to dress herself, and they would be docking at King's Landing soon. A fact that she was dreading with each passing day since they received the royal invitation, personalized by the King himself. 

On any normal occasion, her father would have come with only Clement since it was considered treasonous to refuse a King’s invitation, but he would not have brought anyone else. He was still quite bitter about the event that transpired ten years ago, and so was Valeana. The Red Keep held nothing by rotten memories she had tried to disremember all this time. Alas, this "Royal Conclave" was a proposal that Bartimos Celtigar couldn't resist. Most if not all the high born lords of the Seven Kingdoms would be in attendance with the intention of marrying off their children and forging alliances.

All the Celtigar children, including his step daughter (at the ripe age of four and twenty) were not betrothed, and Bartimos was getting impatient with their ennui of their lack of prospects. Well, Floris seemed far more eager to change her father's name and bare the cloak of her future husband, but finding a suitable match for his wife's daughter was proving difficult. It wasn't the dowry that was the problem, it was her character that seemed to be too bitter on the pallet of any suitor they had conversed with thus far. As for his other daughters -- Shya was still young, she would have time yet, and as the youngest of the girls, she wasn't a high priority. It was Valeana he worried for the most -- There was no man alive that he deemed worthy of her hand. 

Though to be perfectly honest, it seemed Valeana was quite content with her father being so picky. She would be fine becoming a Septa if that is what the fates wished for her.

The door opened, nearly slamming against the wall when the ship bucked. Her step mother, Ursula, entered, looking a bit green in the face as she held a handkerchief to her lips.

"We are almost there," she said, swallowing thickly with her eyes closed. "I can see the spires... Gods, I hate sailing." 

And yet you married a Lord of the Sea, Val wanted to say, but bit her tongue as she finished her mending. 

"Why aren't you dressed yet?!" Her step mother slammed the door shut and gripped the wall. "We dock soon, child, and I will not have you enter the Red Keep looking like a common seamstress."

"I have been otherwise detained," Val stuck her needle in a pillow, then wiped her hands on her grey skirt. She turned to her step mother, back composed, feet planted as if she were part of the ship's skeleton itself. A true born Celtigar, if there ever was one. The Targaryens have their dragons, but the Celtigars and the Valeryons had their ships and the unpredictable chaos of the sea. "Mending the dress your daughter ruined."

Ursula's eyes moved over to Shyla, her frown deepening in disapproval, "You see? Your actions not only cost you a brand new dress, but it cost your sister's time!" 

As Shyla whined and her mother nagged, Valaena went over to where her dress lay waiting for her. The maid had finished with Floris, and immediately went to Valaena's side to aid her. The dress was vermillion, like the crabs that march across their banners. There were pearls strung from shoulder to the dip of the sweetheart neckline on both sides, and loose trumpet sleeves that flared out at the elbow and ended with a thick strip of ivory lace. The hem of the skirt held the same lace pattern, and the vermillion fabric tiered on top of an ivory skirt underneath. Shyla wore a similar coloured dress, though with a more modest cut to compliment her long neck, and her pearls were beaded into a silk choker, and dangled from her ears and hair. Floris was of a different red, deeper and accented with gold, and black silk ribbons laced up her back. They were the colours of House Grafton.

 The three dresses were of Valeana's making, which she had spent days crafting with the help of maids. Ursula insisted on making a statement upon arrival. 

Valeana held onto the column as the laces were tightened around her waist. She flinched and placed a hand on her ribs.

"Make it nice and tight," Floris examined her own body's profile in the floor length mirror, flattening her hand over her chest and stomach, and then squared her shoulders in pride of her slim figure. "We can still see your stomach, Valaena."

"I wish to breathe, sister," Val rolled her eyes, then looked down at her gown and found no such evidence of a stomach's rolls showing through the fabric. She made sure none would. 

It was evident that Valeana was still the thicker and curvier of the three sisters. Shyla and Floris both boasted their mothers impossible slim and tall figure, whereas Valeana would be cursed with her father's wider frame. She supposed it could be worse; she could have still weighed as much as she did as a child. Fat also blessed her with an ample chest, which Valeana would call a burden when given a chance. Her back would ache for hours after horseback because of it, but she couldn't deny it gave her figure a sense of balance. She still retained much weight in her hips, thighs, lower belly, and buttocks, but the size of her breasts equalized her pear shaped body. 

Whilst her maid tied her up, Valaena made quick work of her hair. They had little time to do anything intricate, so she pinned back the thick locks and fastened a matching red rounded hood headpiece to the crown of her head. It too was lined with pearls, which blended in with her platinum hair. At her lobes she hung tear drop pearl earrings, and a matching string of them to disappear into the bodice of her dress.

There was a knock on the door, “We are docking!” Bartimos’ voice boomed through the door. “Are we decent?” 

Valeana tightened the straps and harnesses of her prosthetic leg around her thigh before fastening her red stocking along her leg. She gave a nod to her step mother, who confirmed they were in fact, decent, giving him permission to enter. 

Bartimos donned garments of deep vermillion, a bronze chain with crab broaches fastened his cloak on his shoulders. His daughters have never seen their father so regal and proud. 

“Oh, look at my girls,” the lines around his eyes deepened as he smiled. “You will be the envy of all the ladies in court.” 

He said this to all of them, but his eyes were on Valeana, and Floris was acutely aware of that. She was always aware of where her step father’s eyes landed on when he gave compliments.

As the family gathered on deck, they crowded at the bannisters to watch the city as they neared port. Shyla bounced on her feet excitingly, Floris watched with quiet dignity, her nose in the air and a subtle smile on her face, and Valaena gripped the wood with blunt nails. King’s Landing had not changed; it looked just as she remembered. It smelled just like she remembered. 

“Blink, sister,” the tall presence of her brother approached from behind her. Clement bowed over her shoulder, “He isn’t going to appear out of nowhere if you blink.”

She blinked, not because he told her to, but because she didn’t realize she wasn’t until he spoke. Valeana looked down at her white knuckles, “I don’t want to be here.”

“I don’t want you to be here,” Clement concurred. “But it will only be three turns of the moon, mayhaps four, not ten years. Shorter if you find a husband as soon as possible.”

“I don’t want a husband either,” She sighed, closing her eyes. Her father’s pickiness over her suitors really only extended to the sons of the lords that reached the eastern shores of Westeros. Bartimos may find his perfect match with a lord or a lord’s son from a kingdom far from home. 

Clement’s lips thinned, not knowing how to sooth a woman doomed to a life she did not choose. He was sure she was tired of hearing the arguments of a woman’s duty to her house, and how she will one day find love for her husband, and if not, she will love the children she bore for him. All half-truths and poor words of encouragement that everyone young lady like her were given. Instead, all he could do was plant a kiss upon her head. 

“At least we know it won’t be a Targaryen,” he said, his voice light with an attempt at a jest. 

Valaena scoffed and elbowed him. 

When the anchor was dropped, and the ropes were draped over posts, Val realized when she looked around that there were no Velaryon flags attached to any of the ships docked. The invitation had mentioned that the Valyrian houses were to reach King’s Landing before other Lords arrived. She would have thought it odd, since Driftmark and Dragonstone were so much closer to King’s Landing, but the tensions between Princess Rhaenyra and her family were well known by now. 

“Do you think they’ll come?” Val fell into step with her father as they walked off the ship and made their way over to the wheelhouse that awaited them. “Princess Rhaenyra and the Velaryons,” she clarified. 

“When I was at Dragonstone a sinnight ago, she had not made a decision,” he confessed, waiting at the entrance of the carriage, allowing his wife, step daughter, and youngest daughter in first. He placed a fatherly hand on her shoulderblade as he ushered her inside, “If she does, I fear dragons will dance.”

As Bartimos clambered in after the women, his youngest, Arthor, gripped the door and turned to his elder brother, who was mounting a horse. The wheelhouse only carried six. 

“Then let us pray to the Old Gods and the New that she does,” Arthor smirked devilishly. “I grow weary in peace.”

Clement fought the urge to roll his eyes, instead busied himself with adjusting on his mount, “Peace is all you’ve known, dear brother. Be careful what you wish for, or you’ll find out how easily war can begin and how hard it is for it to end.” 

T H E  G R E E N S 

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“Your Grace, the Celtigar banners were spotted entering the Iron Gate,” Ser Arryk stated after he was permitted to enter the King’s chambers. 

Alicent watched with mild astonishment at the way her King husband lit up at the news. The Viserys before her was a man new; a stranger to his wife. She married a man with a broken heart and a failing body. She slept with a living corpse and bore his children. The man standing before her, no longer hunched over, no longer gaunt, no longer pallid like a spoiled egg, no longer weighed with his regrets and or tired from his burdens. 

He wasn’t polished, by any means. His hair did not grow back, but it had a healthier sheen. His hands may be missing a finger each, and he may have to walk with the aid of a cane, but if a stranger from lands unknown saw this man now, they would see an old King that had it all. 

His Queen couldn’t fully comprehend where his sense of hope and happiness stemmed from. She had never been close to death (nor wished to), but some say if you survive the odour of the Stranger’s breath, the scents of the world become more vibrant, and you lust for life like a boy of four and ten lusts for long silky legs and a pair of supple breasts.

“Excellent,” he spoke through his grin, extending his arms as his steward fitted him for the blood red jerkin. “What of my daughter, or my cousin?”

Arryk shared a look with Alicent before shifting his gaze back to his king and gave him a subtle shake of his head, “Not yet, Your Grace.”

Viserys’ eyes shut painfully, and a large sigh filled his lungs and sagged his shoulders. The brief moment of disappointment, of worry, shifted back to optimism, albeit a smaller dose of what it was half a minute ago. 

“That is fine,” he nodded as if the motion would convince himself, “They will come, I know it.”

Alicent stared at her husband in silence, her jaw clenching as she swallowed her words. In his optimism, he was far more stubborn and less willing to listen to her and her father’s skepticisms over this whole “Royal Conclave” he came up with. It wasn’t a terrible idea, in fact, Alicent quite liked the thought of bringing the Realm together; it would serve the Hightowers more than anyone else, should they make marriage alliances with powerful houses. However, it was Viserys’ belief, his hope, that it would end the tensions between the three Valyrian houses. They hadn’t seen Rhaenyra and her brood ever since the day Aemond lost his eye, and it was even longer before they last saw a single member of the Celtigar House. As far as she was aware, they had not left Claw Isle since they returned to their seat, save for Bartimos and his heir when they had business at Pentos, Dragonstone, Driftmark, or in Gulltown. 

“We shall meet Lord Bartimos and his family in the Throne Room,” Viserys continued, eyes focused on his visage in the floor length mirror as his steward brushed off stray threads and hair on his shoulders. “Ser Arryk, call upon Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond to be present as well. We must greet our guests as a family.”

Alicent straightened herself in her seat, “Do you think that is wise, husband? After– Afterall,” she quickly changed her words. “They must be exhausted from their journey.” 

“It would be rude if we do not. They are one of our guests of honour, Alicent,” Viserys shook his head. “They enter our gates with their entire brood in toe, and we shall greet and welcome them with our own.”

Ser Arryk bowed his head and left with the instruction, and all Alicent could do was sink back in her chair with her worries. She was not afraid of Ser Bartimos; blood of Old Valyria they may have, and fortunes plenty, but the Celtigars did not hold much influence outside their corner of the eastern shores. They lived in the shadow of the two other Valyrian houses that still named their children Valyrian names, and still followed the Valyrian traditions. Where the Targaryens and Velaryons still marry near to close relations, the Celtigars had strayed from that, preferring alliances with other houses to keep their coffers full, rather than their blood pure. In that regard, Alicent had much more respect for that house than any other, but at the end of the day, they weren’t regarded with as much intimidation as they ought to be given.

No, a rift between Targaryens and Celtigars wasn't what Alicent was worried about. 

She was worried about her children, particularly her two oldest sons, who had grown up to be arrogant, impulsive, lethal, entitled, and impertinent. Bartimos’ girls had already suffered enough at the hands of her sons, and Alicent's thoughts plagued with the possibility of it only continuing where it was left off. Had she had a choice, she would’ve had the Celtigars raise tent pavilions around the Tourney grounds like the rest of the houses, ensuring that they did not cross paths. Alas, as their guests of honour, they will hold apartments there in Maegor’s Holdfast, as they once had when they resided at the Red Keep. 

Alicent ran the pads of her fingers over her forehead, where she felt a headache bloom with her anxieties. She dare not even think of what will happen should Rhaenyra and Daemon decide to come back. 

“It was a regrettable accident,” Rhaenyra had said when her son sliced Aemond’s eye out of his head. 

“It was a regrettable accident,” Alicent had said when her son pushed Valeana down a flight of stairs. 

“And Valeana Celtigar was an innocent where our son is not,” Her husband had said in their bedchambers at Driftmark. “I will not cast a blind eye at your hypocrisy, Alicent. If you want retribution, you will have to give Bartimos Celtigar the same.”

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“Well done, my prince,” Ser Criston said, his brow sweaty, but brown eyes full of pride. “You’ll win tourneys in no time.” 

“I don’t give a shit about tourneys,” Aemond replied, hand still lifted, his sword still poised to the white cloak’s shoulder. His eyes never wavered from his mentor, not even when acknowledging Ser Arryk’s presence. “Ser Arryk. Have you come to join us, or to collect me?”

“Collect,” Ser Arryk replied, looming at the gates of the training yard. “His Grace, the King, Queen Alicent and the rest of your family are in the Throne Room to receive the Celtigars.” 

“I have no taste for crab,” Aemond sheathed his sword and went to collect a rag to wipe the sweat from his brow. 

“The King wishes for all members of the royal family to be present,” Arryk pressed, hands clasped patiently in front of him. 

“Hm,” Aemond stood up straighter, sharing a look with Cole before finally looking at the long haired knight. “Then should we not wait for Rhaenyra and my nephews? I heard their banners have not reached port, so we have plenty of time.”

Arryk casted a glance at Criston, silently pleading for him to speak reason onto his mentee. 

With his own rag, Criston wiped his brow, face and neck, “My prince, perhaps it is wise not to test the King’s patience.”

“He seems to have much of that for everyone outside his own kin,” Aemond’s words had a bite to them as he slapped the rag onto a wooden table. “Fine, but I will not be changing. The Throne room will reek of pigs anyway.” 

Please do not re post, redistribute or plagiarize my work. The only other place this story is posted on is ao3 under the same username.

[sovlstr]

Maria Giovanni x Sans Gaster

The wolf and willing mouse

——————

General rant involving personal matters and past trauma, check tags for reference.

As much as I enjoy tumblr, I find that anytime I use it I am doomed to come across things I don’t like. I mean, thats a given, but when its past the “2016 ship and let ship phase” of the internet, it gets tiresome. “Why cant we bring back 2015 internet when everyone was chill with random incest?” because most of us were barely pushing middle school and most definitely didn’t know better. Call it a failure of the adult fanbase, introducing amino and tumblr and deviantart to many young and impressionable people that came to see it as normalized. Thankfully, most of us have moved on and realized the faults of the past- our parents, or a lack thereof- and the enablers of the fandom that got away scot free.

It comes as no surprise that me, and many others, are not particular fans of the “solygbm” story, with its slander of characterization- Sans a rapist, Grillby a pedophile, abuse fetish, and ever so diligent self inserting of the author. Thats not to slander it- if you’re into the taboo, just indulge responsibly in designated areas is all I ask. I do come to find it repulsive though, as a “victim” to it. You would think that even as an ex frans and sans fangirl, I’d be more tolerant to it. Well, ex proshipper, as result of 7-10 years sca. The amino incidents… did make it worse but hey, character development or something.

It was never something publicly shared or indulged in- I think I knew better- but god did it fuck me. I do indeed blame the incest I was exposed to as a child, apparently was so normalized to the fault I hadn’t realized it until maybe, 13-14. Once hating that I’d become the example every anti use(proship affects young people and reality yadda ya). But there is such a fortunate truth in that argument. Thankful to god I had a mother who supported me through it all, god bless her sweet heart. Regretting the things I was enabled in- yea, looking at you RivenSkies on Amino. Imma catch you one day, you and that guy who harassed 12 year me for drawing humanized Rarity in random deviantart outfits.

Besides those faults, the problem with aus and is that one really can’t disconnect from that part of the fandom, being such a significant fixation and infouence that would issue losing some of my most valued friends. People that I’ve come to trust as of now, which is why I’m fine with people knowing this. I’ve simply decided to, for my own sake, stray away from the fandom itself. Undertale AUs, I mean.

Fiction is such a major component of reality. If I physically didn’t feel myself cringe and my heart sink a little lower every time I stumbled upon- and you know who you are- a frans post, when I’ve done what I can to reduce the sight from my mind, then I wouldn’t argue that fact so much. But it really does. Especially when its characters you have watched and mimicked for such a large majority of your life. Let’s face it- every fandom is fucked up. It seems the more innocent the game the more dubious its fans are. I really cant figure it out why but honestly, the aus and stories are the main factor keeping this fandom alive. Thats the charm of it all.

Anyway, backtracking from my thoughts on this favorite fandom of mine. I’ve decided that for my own sake, I spend a bit less time on this platform. Even all its gifts and glory, I really just can’t risk my happiness for something so rapant in the fandom. Im thankful for the people who have made this experience the best it was. Sorry if I scared anyone, this sounds awfully lot like a goodbye note LOL. Just expect activity to be ~3/4 times a week, short spurts of checking in and saying hi. Instagram- with Tiktoks awauted ban and increase of dubious content(cant search up anything without seeing 🌽), has became my safe haven. I have a larger audience, more actives oomfs, so much content to explore and hopefully better filtered tags. Feel free to reach me, whether on Insta or just here.

Final note! I will be posting all chapters of Don Dew here soon given the risk of ao3 being banned as well. I also barely use the latter and prefer what I’m used to. Thank you for reading ^_^

——————

[obsidianpen]

After reading No Glory and Hauntingly, it's hard to enjoy hetero romance, and it's not just because your way of writing is elite; there could be so many reasons that I went hardcore m/m and f/f shipper. Like, I am dead serious when I say my favorite telenovela pairing is Luisa x Rose from Jane the Virgin. So, I am really, really excited for your original work, and even more stoked that you decided it to be an m/m pair. But yeah, would love to know why you decided that?

you know, it was an interesting thought process that involved a lot of self reflecting. There’s definitely controversy around women writing gay male romance. Most of it is, I think, bullshit, and the arguments such as ‘its fetishizing’ are way off base (no, that would be male directors and producers creating plotless w/w porn, imo). But it was a Big Question: why should I, J…Jamie (lmao I’m almost more OP than myself anymore when I’m online) write a story with a bi male lead, when I’m a female (I love writing bis okay we need more of us!!) ? The reason I like writing Harry/Tom has everything to do with their dynamic and roles in the canon, and nothing to do with the gender. Id ship them regardless. In fact I probably would have realized I shipped them sooner if it was f/m; I was just too young at the time to realize that’s what I was rooting for because I was a bit sheltered in that regard.

anyway - so yeah, why am I still interested in m/m outside of fanfiction? I asked myself, staring at the mirror. So I wrote a little bit out of this original idea, one version as a female lead and once as a male, and you know, it was a pretty interesting exercise. When I was writing a male protagonist, I was… calm? Idk, I didn’t overthink him. I knew who he was and I just wrote what he did and what he thought. But when I was writing a the female version, my anxiety was so much higher! I found myself agonizing over every bit of her personality, worrying if people would find her ‘too this’ or ‘too that’, too predictable, too pretty, not pretty enough, too tough, too weak, etc etc. I felt like no matter who I made her, people would be upset and fucking hate her. And then I realized, oh. This is probably why so many women authors like writing male leads. Because that agonizing feeling, that’s how it is to be a woman, all the time. And it’s so relieving to get to leave that behind when writing a male lead. Maybe this is all deeply problematic on my part, I’m not sure. Internalized misogyny? I don’t think so, just the bleak reality. But yes I likely have issues lmaaao

Another reason was simply that the last original work I wrote has a female lead, so I thought I’d switch it up again. Writing an m/m story is what got me into writing in the first place, so it feels weirdly like have to acknowledge that in new projects I take seriously, too?

and to acknowledge that story I already wrote with the female lead - Starlings - I agonized quite a bit less over her, and in hindsight, I think it’s because she’s a child. She goes through puberty during the story, surrounded by older women, and there are almost no men in the whole thing, so the dynamic is totally different. It’s not big on the romance, either, which also helps. So yeah. No anxiety there. But with a grown ass woman in a story that’s centered quite a bit around a super problematic romance? Anxiety. Anxiety for days. I also feel this anxiety when I write Hermione, btw.

there will definitely be a different kind of worrying writing this new original thing, though - writing a gay magical romance set in southern 1920s America is gonna require a TON of research, and I’m not taking that lightly. But that worrying isn’t nearly as personal, which makes a lot of difference.

I’m interesting in other people’s opinions on this! So please share if you’re willing. 🌸

[jojolymes]

𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐀; preface

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 ¡!

next: I. 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 | table of contents

𑁍

get lost and then get found, or

˗ˏˋ SWALLOWED IN THE SEA'ˎ˗

one piece

❝I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER HAD A DREAM OF MY OWN.❞

┊ ���. being a marine was supposed to be your  dream since you were a child. it was what you were born to be— until the straw hats pull the sheet back from over your eyes.

PLAYLIST .ೃ࿐

swallowed in the sea; coldplay

❝and i could write it down or spread it all around, get lost and then get found,

and you'll come back to me, not swallowed in the sea.❞

kiss from a rose; seal

❝there used to be a greying tower alone on the sea,

and you became the light on the dark side of me.❞

caribbean blue; enya

❝so the world goes round and round with all you ever knew,

they say the sky high above is caribbean blue?❞

make your own kind of music; cass elliot

❝nobody can tell you there's only one song worth singing,

they may try and sell you 'cause it hangs them up to see someone like you.❞

sinking boat; infinity song

❝no safety in the riches, the glory, or the castle guard, 

the sunset cast a shadow over the boulevard...❞

the anchor song; bjork

❝underneath is all currents and drop my anchor,

and this is where i'm staying; this is my home.❞

sunny; boney m.

❝sunny, thank you for the smile upon your face—

sunny, thank you for the gleam that shows its grace.❞

corner of the earth; jamiroquai

❝so inspired of that, there's nothing left to do or say...

think i'll dream 'til the stars shine.❞

life & soul; the sundays

❝here on the shore, we're going to be,

here I go, it's all my sea, all my blue...❞

FOREWORD .ೃ࿐

˚ · . warnings¡!

HEAVY LANGUAGE USE

CAN WE GET MUCH HIGHER?

CANON-TYPICAL VIOLENCE & INJURIES

˚ · . notes¡!

SANJI X FEM!READER X ZORO FRANKY X ROBIN NAMI X VIVI

┊ ✧. mc is 19 pre-time-skip and 21 post-time-skip; all characters are their canon ages

✧. this fic will cover all of the one piece arcs! yes, all of them!!! however, it will be more of a  collection of scenarios than a fic with a continuous plot line!!

✧. this is a sanji x reader x zoro fic but its VERY slow burning! its more of an extra element bc i am in love with both of them #throuple

✧. any other ships are the ones i ship so i don't give a fuck if you don't because at the end of the day, this fic is a HUGE passion piece that is very self-indulgent

✧. mc's fighting style and weapon choice are based off the peruvian/incan fighting style rumi maki and incan weapon boleadoras bc i am a proud peruvian :9

started: 10.06.2024

ended: n.a.

for an easy reading experience, follow # swallowedintheseaop

[wifelinkmtg]

Wifelink: Murders! #sponsored

Welcome back to the best dumb idea I've ever had! Murder has come to the City of Guilds. Well, murder lives here, but it's crept out of the shadows, crawled up from the undercity, slunk through steam and oozed its way out of the breeding pools, and guild leaders are dropping like coins from a debtor's mouth. Who could be responsible? Who could be next? Who was that woman slipping furtively into an alley, and what's her deal? Is she single? Some of these questions and more will be answered on today's episode. Live from Ravnica, this... is Wifelink.

But first, a word from today's sponsor: picture this - it's your turn to host the monthly meeting of your true crime book club, and you maybe haven't finished Massacre: the true story of Ravnica's bloodiest killings and the woman behind them, and now you're trying to decide whether to finish it so you don't look like an idiot in the discussion group, or to spend time whipping up hors d'oeuvres so you don't have to serve everyone the same stupid veggies-and-ranch plate you did last time and suffer once more through Joanna's veiled disapproval. But what if I told you there was a way to get professionally-made charcuterie shipped directly to your home, leaving you the time you need to finish your last few chapters and craft a trenchant discussion question just in time for the doorbell? With Hello Flesh, it's just that easy: the incredible chefs at Hellbender will provide you with a mouthwatering selection of their finest meats: prosciutto, summer sausage, capicola, pastrami, and much, much more! Go to helloflesh dot com now, and sign up using offer code KNIFELINK to get your first month absolutely free! That's helloflesh dot com, offer code K-N-I-F-E-L-I-N-K. Hello Flesh: Don't ask where the meat comes from.

WAIT, WE'RE DOING RAVNICA? DIDN'T YOU SKIP A COUPLE SETS

What are you, Azorius? I've never felt any fondness for Eldraine, and I really didn't vibe with the new Ixalan set, so we're doing the Ravnica Murder Mystery set. I'm not going to do every single set that comes out or this will be my full-time job by 2026.

Cold Case Cracker (art by Wayne Wu)

Some things are very simple. Good cheekbones and the classic trench coat with the wide belt. I particularly enjoy the way her hair looks more like strips of fabric or parchment.

Merchant of Truth (art by Carissa Susilo)

"Goth angel" works on me every time, and this piece is particularly gorgeous - the composition and that dress, my goodness. You don't see a lot of angels from behind in Magic, on account of you would have to figure out what the anatomy and clothing situation is where the wings connect to the back, and Carissa has solved the clothing problem rather elegantly, and refused to engage with the anatomy problem at all. I can respect that.

I've never quite understood what's going on with Orzhov angels - I think they're mostly supposed to be disillusioned ex-Boros, but they don't really get much of a voice in story. You've got the flavor text on Angel of Despair, "it is as if their duty is to an empty void," but that's a quote from the most Boros of all the angels. Perhaps it's simply that the Orzhov don't labor under the same illusions as the other white-aligned guilds - the Boros and the Azorius and as we see in this story, even the Selesnya are all firmly entrenched in the idea that they stand for what's Right and Good on Ravnica, but ultimately they stand only for themselves and their own power and pre-eminence. The Orzhov, at least, make no secret of this. Maybe that's a comfort, to an angel.

Experiment Twelve (art by Michele Giorgi)

Oh baby girl the Simic fucked you right up, didn't they. Claws and scales and some sort of muzzle - do you feel like an animal, now? Do you hate what they did to you, or do you glory in your new sharpness? Did you escape, or are you on their leash? Are you hunted, or am I?

Bubble Smuggler (art by Leesha Hannigan)

This is Glovax. I've only had them for a day but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in the room and then myself.

Honestly I'm disconsolate that this isn't a real animal that exists in the world and that I'll never get to rescue one from an aquarium and have an octopus fish best friend for life. You know that soul-sick feeling you get when you remember that Anomalocaris has been extinct for 500 million years ago and that you will never be able to pet one? Yeah. Goddammit they're going to make this a pet on Arena and I will spend real earth dollars on it.

ALL THESE TENTACLES AND STILL THE BIGGEST SUCKER IS YOU. NOW MAKE WITH THE LEGENDARIES

Etrata, Deadly Fugitive (art by Livia Prima)

I have looked at a whole lot of Etrata art, and do you want to know my considered opinion? This outfit fucking rules. It's got one and a quarter sleeves, thirteen visible buckles, a circular collar that connects only at the sternum, and a clingy ankle-length skirt with a slit damn near up to the thigh to reveal more buckles. It is the least practical outfit I can imagine an assassin wearing short of an inflatable dinosaur costume but god, it looks like it's meant for deadly stealth, and I am in love. Etrata is broody and gorgeous and has a big knife and extraordinarily naked shoulders, and what else could you want?

Judith, Carnage Connoisseur (art by Jodie Muir)

A look specifically crafted to elicit "step on me mommy"s from the general public. I'm on record as saying that there's no way Judith does any sort of aftercare, so maybe have a Selesnya cleric on speed-dial if you're gonna run that risk.

Judith, Carnage Connoisseur (alternate art by Alex Dos Diaz)

I think Loxodon Hierarch is screening my calls.

Honestly, I would do stupid, stupid things for a pretty girl with red eyes, sharp nails and facial scarring. I'm not sure what kinds of things I would do for a pretty girl with gold flame decals on her arms, but based on prior evidence, they would probably also be extremely stupid.

Izoni, Center of the Web (art by Justine Cruz)

It's weird how people get locked in your memory at the point in time you knew them. You know you've changed a lot since then, and if you thought about it you'd agree other people might well also have changed, but you don't think about it, and then you run into an old friend or an ex and the things you knew them for, the things you've tied their memory to in your mind, aren't even still part of their life.

So Izoni, my beloved Izoni, Ravnica's foremost bug girl and finder of beetles, has moved on with her life in the past six years. She's into spiders now, that's her thing. She's a spider girl. And that's cool, spiders are cool, too, but the way this went in my head I was going to tell her about the mantis-riders of Tarkir and the dune-beetles of Amonkhet and the behavioral quirks of giant ants on Innistrad and now, instead, I'm not sure what to say. "You're looking well," I suppose, or something about, "so, leading the Swarm now? How's that going for you?"

Analyze the Pollen (art by Anna Christenson)

It's not even that big a change, really. Hardly noticeable. She still has that same intensity, that same curiosity. Her brows still furrow in concentration. She's still covered in crawling things, and she is still the most beautiful woman on Ravnica. Spiders or insects, what's the difference? All it means is that six years have passed. All it means is that the places and people you love continue to move in your absence. All it means is that you're both talking past each other to your echoes, to the people you used to know, who no longer exist. Time has eaten them both.

And if you, like time, get hungry, don't forget to use our affiliate code KNIFELINK at -

HEY. HELLO FLESH IS A RAKDOS JOINT, RIGHT

- in the middle of the ad read, dude?

YOU SAID HELLBENDER CHEFS DO THE CHARCUTERIE. THAT'S JUDITH'S PLACE

Yeah, what about it?

DO YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA BE GOOD WITH CONTENT SHE SPONSORED CALLING SOMEONE ELSE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN RAVNICA

Ah.

OR LIKE DO YOU THINK SHE'S GENERALLY COMFORTABLE SHARING THE SPOTLIGHT

...so thank you all so much for listening to this episode of Wifelink! I'm going to lay low for a bit, and if my body turns up face-down in an undercity canal, y'all know who did it.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

House of the Dragon 2x08: Quotes

"- I could not produce such a coin, even if I wanted to. (Ser Tyland) - Again, you plead poverty. It is hollow stuff from the mouth of a Lannister. Whose very stables and sculleries are carved into a mountain of gold." (Myrish captain) "- Essos is as rich as it is vast. It seems you need us more than we need you." (Myrish captain)

"- You will drive up the price of basic goods. (Ser Tyland) - It is better than starving, surely." (Myrish captain)

"- He deserves no less. (Aegon) - Be that as it may, he has gone in fury to Sharp Point... and laid waste to the whole of the town. (Larys) - Fucking mad cunt." (Aegon)

"- So, what was the fucking point in all this then? (Aegon) - The gods are cruel, Your Grace, but I hope you can see the urgency. (Larys) - No, no. I am the king. Why must I run? (Aegon) - Because the prince regent is going to kill you. You were in danger before, and now, he is thwarted and he is angry. There is no telling what he will do, but we have an opportunity while he is away... (Larys) - An opportunity to push him out." (Aegon)

"- My cock is destroyed, did they tell you that? Yeah. It burst into flames like a sausage on the split." (Aegon)

"- Deamfyre, hatched when the Conqueror was king." (Rhaenyra)

"- Aemond thought himself invincible. He has now discovered he is not. He'll be angry, desperate. He will not stop at burning Sharp Point, and he will not be denied." (Corlys)

"- My ship is no longer the Sea Snake. She was a testament to my own glory. I've given her a new name. The Queen Who Never Was." (Corlys)

"- I would speak honestly with you. (Ser Alfred Broome) - I'd expect nothing less. (Daemon) - I was faithful to the king, your brother. I pledged my banners to Rhaenyra, his heir. I will never serve the usurpers or the whelps of Oldtown, but there are battles to be fought... (Ser Alfred Broome) - voice (whispers): Traitor. - ... and in times like this... Did you hear something? (Ser Alfred Broome) - This place will have you barking at the moon. (Daemon) - While you have mustered an army, Rhaenyra has faltered... turning aside from our judgment, and taking a course, I myself, deem reckless. Rhaenyra will chart her own course, for good or ill. But you are a leader of men. If you declare yourself, your lords will follow you. (Ser Alfred Broome) - I never took you for a turncloak... Ser Alfred. (Daemon) - Rhaenyra's intentions are good. But what we need, in this moment... is a king." (Ser Alfred Broome)

"- Why does everybody hate us? (Helaena) - They're unhappy... and unhappy people look for someone to hate. (Alicent) - We didn't order the blockade. (Helaena) - No, but we are the crown, so they expect us to break it. Drink this. (Alicent) - I was happier before I was queen. (Helaena) - What would you think about leaving this place? (Alicent) - Where would I go?" (Helaena)

"- Made commoners into dragonlords! (Aemond) - Ow, ow! (Helaena) - Aemond! Aemond! (Alicent) - It is a sin and must be punished! (Aemond) - May I remind you your sister is still the queen? (Alicent) - Ow! (Helaena) - As you were once! And you see now what is the consequence of your weakness! We are in peril today more than yesterday! (Aemond) - Was it peril that moved you to burn the town of Sharp Point? Peril or basest fury at your own humiliation? You wish to rule the Seven Kingdoms, but you rain ruin and death upon its smallfolk when you've been insulted because it makes you feel strong and now you seek to corrupt your sister, of all our line, the gentlest and most deserving of your protection. (Alicent) - And who will protect her if she cannot protect herself? (Aemond) - And who will she be if her mind is broken?! (Alicent) - 'Tis no longer our rule that is threatened, our very lives. Would you not have us prevail? (Aemond) - Not like this." (Alicent)

"- Do you think nothing of your oath... Lord Commander? Steward's son from Dorne fucking the queen of the Seven Kingdoms. (Gwayne Hightower) - Do not think I have no shame in me, ser. Desire for women has brought me grief after grief. (Ser Criston) - Then resist it. (Ser Gwayne) - Oh, would that it were so simple. (Ser Criston) - Your brothers in the Kingsguard find a way. (Ser Gwayne) - (...) Or perhaps all men are corrupt... and true honor is a mist that melts in the morning. (Ser Criston) - That is a bleak philosophy. (Ser Gwayne) - The dragons dance, and men are like dust under their feet. And all our fine thoughts, all our... endeavors are as nothing. We march now toward our annihilation. To die will be a kind of relief. Don't you think?" (Ser Criston)

"- I have not and I would not." (Ser Tyland)

"- It does not befit a prince to pout. Do you believe that you are the first noble heir who was not sired by his noble father? Such is the way of the world, Jace, and in resenting it, you only diminish yourself. (Baela) - Easy enough to say. I've heard the whispers the whole of my life. (Jace) - Then prove to them that you are worthy." (Baela)

"- I wish to have children by you. (Lohar) - You, you, you want me to... (Ser Tyland) - Indeed. I want you to fuck my wives. (Lohar) - How many wives do you have?" (Ser Tyland)

"- There will be time enough to see which one of us is a coward." (Addam of Hull)

"- When you came here, you were a closed fist. You wished to bend the world to your will. But you've discovered, I think, that... this world will not be governed. There are omens here for those who seek them. You do not scoff? (Alys) - I'm no longer inclined to. (Daemon) - I'm pleased to hear it. Do you wish, then, to learn what is given to you? All your life, you have sought to command your own fate. But today you are ready. (Alys) - It's all a story... and you are but one part in it. You know your part. You know what you must do." (Helaena)

"- Come with me... to Harrenhal? We will lay waste to Daemon and his army. Let our enemy see that we will answer outrage with outrage. (Aemond) - And if I refuse? Will you burn me as you did Aegon? (Helaena) - That is a lie. (Aemond) - I saw it. You burned him and you let him fall. (Helaena) - What you say is treason. (Aemond) - Aegon will be king again. He's yet to see victory. He sits on a wooden throne. And you... you'll be dead. You were swallowed up in the God's Eye, and you were never seen again. (Helaena) - I could have you killed. (Aemond) - It wouldn't change anything." (Helaena)

"- You cannot lead if you do not inspire. (Alyn) - You have been given a position to which all who serve here aspire." (Corlys)

"- Be strong. You know you are just. You must not let the Realm fail to those who care for power more than peace. You must prevail. (Mysaria) - And who pays the price?" (Rhaenyra)

[kindafooey]

So I reached the part in the uncensored version where Koskela has his Hietanen-ridden fever dream. and oh boy let me tell ya. This scene refuses to let me out of its grips. I'm once again reading it over and over again trying to peel it like an onion (and tbf it does kinda challenge its reader to do that with the surreal and spiraling narration so maybe I'm not as insane as I'm making myself out to be after all, I'm just responding accordingly haha). and then I realized something. there's a parallel drawn between Hietanen and sunlight in two separate instances during this relatively short scene. He appears in the dream because the warmth of the sun reminds Koskela of Hietanen's laughter. The early parts of the book painted a picture of Koskela quietly enjoying the sun multiple times. And now the war is lost and everything is falling apart, but in the middle of total devastation, Koskela finds a peaceful spot in the sunlight, falls asleep and dreams of a charred and laughing Hietanen.

Am I tripping? Am I being utterly and completely delulu? like. I've said this before but I stand firmly by the idea that Koskela and Hietanen's relationship has a canonical, although one-sided, romantic subtext because Koskela's mental and physical collapse and suicidal death following the discovery of Hietanen's corpse very clearly stands out as reliance that signifies something much more intimate than mere friendship or comradery. And it's fascinating how subtle yet unmistakeably notable it is. They don't even directly interact with each other all that much, yet they always seem to be there for each other. When Hietanen is found shaking and dissociating after blowing up the tank, Koskela expresses a level of concern for him that he's never shown for anyone else. And oh, don't even get me started on their farewell after Hietanen is injured. In Linna's narration that more often than not describes the fallen and wounded unceremoniously disappearing from the men's lives and being fast forgotten, the held hands and brave facades and promises to meet again after the war in that scene stand the fuck out.

I dunno. I'm still extremely shook that this whole thing is an honest to god real thing that exists in the actual book in all of its 70-year-old culturally canonized glory instead of just. yanno. ship-happy fandom spaces. (which i have nothing but undying love for btw. i hope that goes without saying lol. its just a very different medium.) and I need to rave about this like a madman just to confirm that it's real.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

You know what would be funny? While the RDA is obsessing over Pandora's resources and providing the rich assholes with ways to extend their wrinkled existence, the rest of humanity goes “Fuck this shit! Time to fix up our planet!” Like full on terraform Earth back to its former glory.

And so, while the RDA is spending billions to send ships to terrorizing the tall, blue people, the rest of the world is having its redemption arc up until like a year after the second movie, where they’re at the point where they can go “Yoooo, wtf is the RDA doing over there? Oh, they got bored with fucking us over so they moved to alien natives? Nah, send in the Balkan people (These mfs are built different I swear, they’ll just take a breath of pandoran air and go “Umm, spicy and refreshing”). They’re sent on their way (Let’s say they arrive in 1 year flat because screw physics, this is a joke post, mf are going 4 times ftl.), beat the ever living shit out of the Ahaa cartoon villains that are the RDA personnel and teach them some, you know, human decency, queue in the best apology video of all time, leave the blue people alone, boom mission accomplished. RDA gets sued to hell and back (You know, war crimes and all of that) and even more funding goes to fixing up Earth until its basically as we know it today.

Later down the line, the na’vi need help because of some disaster, humanity sends said help, some form of actual peace is formed, Spider becomes the ambassador of human/na’vi relationships (Guy had the glow up of the century, which tends to happen when you live in a time of peace again and people actually love and care for you “ahem, Spider Sully”) Human and Na’vi truly learn about each other (Ones aren’t uncivilized savages, but people with a unique cultures and deep history. Others aren’t advanced savages with boom sticks, but, you guessed it, people with a unique cultures and deep history.) and learn from each other.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

The end

(Very unrealistic, I know)  

Ugh, my dream. The terraforming Earth part, not the humans coming back. Because the whole movie is a colonization metaphor, I'm so tentative and iffy on the Na'vi needing or wanting any help or support from humanity.

But regardless, I am obsessed with the idea of humanity healing Earth. I know that we are cynical people and are always like "This is realistic, humans are selfish and would take advantage of Pandora as we did to Earth." And I totally get that, but I also love those humans are inherently good stories. I do think the majority of people care and have empathy about other people and their situations, and the majority of problems in the world are systematic and stem from ignorance. People are uneducated or are struggling with what they have to deal with on their own, and don't have the wherewithal to care about every single other thing that is such a gigantic systematic issue. I would love for people, for everyone, to just be like yeah this isn't okay anymore lets fix it. About anything and then everything. But I digress.

I love the idea of Spider Sully and Jake being a bridge between the Na'vi and humanity. I think Jake would have to be involved as well, because honestly Spider has never been to Earth and has never been with regular humans. My man knows no human culture or traditions, really. He's like, really Na'vi biased in that way, hilariously.

Spider: Na'vi culture is better and more important, obviously.

Someone: well, what is human culture.

Spider: clearly it's test tubes, guns, air lock doors, green paper, Jesus Christ, and also tank tops.

[msnihilist]

gwen and ben tennyson, for the character ask game?

For the character ask game.

I already did Gwen in a previous ask, so I'll just do Ben for this one!

How I feel about this character

He's everything to me. My favorite character of all time, hands down. I think of him always. I think about kicking him in the gut and wrapping him in a blanket. Giving him warm soup and then ripping out his fingernails. I want him to live a long happy life and I want him to die spectacularly in a blaze of glory like a supermassive star collapsing under its own weight and I want him to die small and pointless like a worm underneath someone's foot in a disgusting filthy hovel where no one will think to look for him. I want him crushed and mutilated and thriving and broken and laughing and alone and left for dead.

So, y'know. Normal thoughts.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Pretty much everyone that Ben has ever interacted with. Kevin, Gwen, Rook, Albedo, Vilgax, Khyber, No Watch Ben, Elena, Attea... It'd probably be easier to list the people I don't ship Ben with, lol.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I can't decide. There's so much to love between Ben and Kevin, but also Ben and Gwen, and Ben and Rook are so special to me, too. And Ben's parents have a special place in my heart.

Can I say all of them? It doesn't matter if it's romantic or platonic, Ben deserves to be surrounded by people who would kill and die for him.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Probably that I think Ben's personality "downgrade" in AF S3/UA not only makes sense, but makes him a more interesting character.

AF S1/2 had enough of a plot to carry the audiences' attention, but Ben and Gwen were both SO boring. They were practically indistinguishable, too! There are so many instances where they both react the same way to the same thing, and that's because they were both the same fucking character.

Making Ben more flawed made him more fun, more interesting, and better as a narrative tool to create story/interpersonal conflict. You can't change my mind, I am right.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

Just. Anodite Ben. C'mon, we were in the Gwen 10 universe, it would have been so easy to add him, even just as a mention in the background 😭 It would have been SO EASY and it frustrates me that the writers went with Gwen 10 for the Ben team up instead. GET MY GLOWING MAGIC BOY IN HERE RIGHT NOW, OR SO HELP ME GOD I'LL START BREAKING WRISTS.

[crossdressingdeath]

Forgive me, Father, for I cannot help but admire the Chosen of your sworn foe: Enver Gortash's genius will take us far, but fear not - those of Bane always fall to the same folly: they cannot see the beauty of obliteration. The Absolute hoax will garner false love from new slaves, but once I've built a large enough army, I will use our hold upon the Absolute's slaves to begin this vile world's end. I can see the path through Gortash's brilliant plan. Gortash, Ketheric and I will seize the Netherese relics that control the Crown, and then use the Crown to command the illithid Grand Design. The Dead Three, age-old foes, our dire patrons, will be bosom friends for a time. Father, you created me to be the last soul alive. When the time is right, and my power is assured, I will slaughter Gortash and Ketheric upon your altar, where I myself hope to die when the world itself is gasping its last. At the end of this all, Father, there will not be a single creature living. Everyone will die. Everyone will die for YOU. I will make you proud. [Note appended at the bottom of the page in a different hand] Ha! Orin was right about her sibling. - Balth.

First off: so this whole plan is a deal between the Dead Three? I knew Ketheric had ties to Myrkul and the Bhaalists' affiliation is right there in the name, but I didn't realize Gortash served Bane. That's interesting. Also incredibly concerning, I am very worried about whatever's got these three working together, it can't be good for life in Faerûn. Guess that explains why they're important enough to get loading screen text...

Anyway, more importantly! Did Durge write this?! Is this what got them tadpoled, were they planning to betray the other Chosen to end the world and Orin ratted them out? They don't comment on it at all, not even to recognize their handwriting, but given the amnesia and brain damage situation that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

Getting some really strong daddy's kid energy from this, too. Like, they're going to end the damn world and kill everyone alive to make Daddy proud, that's... unhealthy. That's an unhealthy thing to do for parental validation. Don't do that. Although I suppose that does explain why they wanted the Slayer so badly, given it seems to be like. the ultimate expression of Bhaal's favour. Working on the assumption that Durge did write this I can't wait for Bhaal to actually make an appearance, I'm sure it'll be awful in the best way possible. The bit about them being created to be the last soul alive and them fully intending to die on Bhaal's altar at the end is also... a lot. Please can the party return the "let's help our friends escape the conditioning and/or control of the shitty incredibly powerful being who's been fucking up their lives" favour if/when Durge regains their memories, because I'm sure that's going to cause problems. And it seems like Orin did rat them out somehow, which... seems odd, given you'd think this would be her ultimate goal as well. If I had to make a guess I'd say either she's not quite as loyal to their father as Durge is, Durge got a touch overzealous in deciding what their father's will actually was, or this is Orin's goal too and she just wants the glory of being the one to enact it. Or maybe she decided that given Durge wrote this shit down they weren't smart enough. I hope they at least intended to destroy it...

Also: I haven't even met Gortash yet and I think I'm already starting to see why people ship him with Durge. I mean that "Forgive me, Father, for I cannot help but admire the Chosen of your sworn foe" bit? The note itself is called something like Prayer for Forgiveness (I don't remember the exact name and I can't find it on the wiki but I'm certain it talks about forgiveness, if I'd thought of it I'd have made a note of it but I didn't), so the apology is very much the reason why this was written! It has the same energy as apologizing to your parents for falling for the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks, I feel. And an excellent opportunity for enemies to lovers...

[freneticfloetry]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Will I ever get enough of these? No? Thanks to @liminalmemories21, @strandnreyes, @welcometololaland, and @reyesstrand for the tags!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

45. RIP to the lost works of my OG fandom, published on a ship board/archive that no longer exists. (I still have most of them, they just won’t be seeing the light of day. Like ever.)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

368,184. (Again, RIP to all those now-unpublished words — with them I’d be somewhere around 800k.)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

LOL So glad this question is phrased the way it is. Right now, I’m only actively writing in 911 Lone Star fandom, though I have a WIP in Magicians fandom that I fully intend to finish. Historically, I’ve written in about 40 fandoms (36 on AO3), most with a single fic. Thanks, Yuletide!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ashes and Flame (Every You and Every Me), The Hunger Games Trilogy (I get a kudos email for this one at least five times a week. How are people still finding and reading this little fic?)

Lost in Translation, The Losers

Deck the Halls with Daddy Issues, pre-film Avengers MCU

Big Girl Pants, New Girl

Shells of a Long-Ago Lifetime (Faces That Once Were Mine Mix), Supernatural

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

99.9% of the time, absolutely. Comments are my biggest motivation — the serotonin section fuels my muse. If people take the time to tell me they read and enjoyed a fic (especially if they tell me why), I like to at least thank them for that. There have been times when Real Life has been Happening A Lot and comments on the more popular stuff have gotten by me, and I feel weird about going back months after the fact to respond — that Hunger Games fic, for instance, has a couple pages of unanswered comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Posted, probably Of All Our Yesterdays. I am typically an Angst with a Happy Ending writer without fail, but the boys of the Black Dagger Brotherhood don’t do typical happy, and Phury is lowkey the angstiest of the bunch.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I’m actually gonna say scenes from an unfinished story, because I think Quentin Coldwater having this happy ending, the way this one happens, is the biggest fuck you to show canon and its creators that I could possibly craft.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I recently got my first hate comment! I posted about it, but I’ve also left it up in all its glory.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do now! Not that I haven’t in the past — I wrote several het scenes for my very first ship, and Quentin and Eliot had some delightful married kitchen sex we picked up right in the middle in What Baking Can Do — but I feel like Tarlos has really helped me unleash my inner smut writer. My smut from Carlos’ POV has a lot of feelings (LOL), but the stuff I’m writing from TK’s POV is a little sillier and dirtier and more fun. With feelings.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do love me a good crossover. Outside of canons I’ve crossed that exist in the same universe (We Are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For, in Jessica Jones/Luke Cage fandom, plus And to All a Goodnight, for two Jennifer Crusie books), I once wrote tens of thousands of words of a ridiculously plot-heavy Roswell/Angel crossover that will forever hold a soft spot in my heart, a randomly cracky and super angsty Supernatural/Grey’s Anatomy, and a minor character-focused Supernatural/Sarah Connor Chronicles, Requiem, that I still sort of love a lot.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

That Hunger Games fic has been swiped a few times. Weird.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, the Hunger Games fic — it exists somewhere on the internet in Dutch. And that one, the SPN/TSCC crossover, and an old Dexter fic, Dinner and a Show, have been podficed.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! An old friend and I once cowrote ~25k of our idea of fluff, which was basically hijinks, smut, and torturing our leading man with a boom box and Billy Joel.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

For ships that I’ve written… Hmm. I think, before I wrote to build a home, I would’ve said it was a tossup between Tarlos, Queliot, Chlollie, and Jules/Robin from Troubleshooters, but now there’s just no contest. Weewoo Husbands for the win. For ships in general, Tarlos still tops the list, alongside the ones I mentioned, the OT3 (Eliot/Hardison/Parker), Arthur/Eames, Phedre/Joscelin from the Kushiel’s Legacy books, Frank/Karen from the Netflix Marvelverse, Aidan/Sally from Being Human US, and my MCU crack cube of Steve/Nat/Bucky/Sam.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

God, this is such a throwback, but it’s probably Adagio in B-Flat, the Sherlock music porn murder mystery I half wrote and got hopelessly blocked on.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I’d say, especially banter. And understanding characters, I guess? I’m good at making characters sound like themselves, whether they’re speaking or internalizing. And, I’m now proud to say, plot. That’s something I wouldn’t have dared to claim this time ten years ago.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oof. Brevity. I have completely lost the ability to write short (and, by extension, to the point). I’m also the slowest writer in the world, thanks to my tendency to edit every sentence within an inch of its life.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

My Lone Star mutuals are laughing right now. Clearly I hate it. 😊 I’ve written three fics that feature Spanish, two sort of significantly, and all my old Firefly fics have some Mandarin in there somewhere.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OG Roswell. So much OG Roswell. Michael/Liz, specifically, with a side of Kyle/Isabel.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It almost feels like cheating, since it’s my most recent fic (and the only one I’ve published so far in my current fandom), but I’m so stupidly proud of to build a home. Carlos is such a touchstone character for me that writing him was oddly therapeutic. And I think I’ve said this before, but writing the two of them together was like the evolution of the clarity I found writing Queliot, which was the first time I’d really explored a ship in fic where I loved both halves of the pairing even close to equally — it helped me unearth my Carlos and who he is in my heart, but it also helped me uncover the true depth of my love for TK.

No pressure tagging @orchidscript, @heartstringsduet, @never-blooms, @rmd-writes, @walkinginland, @paperstorm, @mixtapestar, @catanisspicy, and @alrightbuckaroo!

[asoulofatlantis]

The Falcom Intro before the game starts has the "Whereabouts of light" harmonica version playing it the background. That totally sets the right mood! The music playing at the starting screen is also very nice. Falcom usually hardly ever disappoints when it comes to their music.

Before Trails I never really cared about plus game ^^' Anyway I do have my own save that I can use this time. Which means you should not expect too much XD There was no such thing as legendary weapons or anything for me in this game. I am too lazy for that.

I found it almost a bit odd that we basically started right were we left off, after the first game made it look like we would start after Estelle has started her journey to find Joshua. But I guess that couldn't pass on the chance to make you imagine Joshua carried Estelle bridal-style down the starts and tucking her into bed before leaving XD

Yes... I think "Oh, Goddess" is quite the fitting reaction here. In case you don't know Taro, that means we are in for a fucking ride... a long and painful one that is.

These days, the Präsident of Calvard had to contact them before doing whatever he is planning to do, to make sure they don't intervene because EVERYONE and their mother knows they would intervene ^^'

Wow... its such a wild concept that barely anyone knew about Ouroboros back then. Think about it, some of the Enforderce and Anguise we have today do not even have the age to join Ouroboros just yet ^^'

Everyone always talks about what a great Hero Cassius, but no one ever talks about how much he sucks as a father. He said he left the army after his wife's death to be with his daughter and protect her but we know that he was hardly ever around. He left her with Joshua knowing fully well who he was and that Ouroboros might come back for him and while he trusted him enough to believe he would never endanger Estelle, he still decided to just... let things run his course and let Joshua go when the time comes, not at all think of Estelles feelings about it. He might have saved Liberl and he might have helped the Erebonian Bracers and pulled all his glory-haunt stunts throughout the Sky games but as a father, he is an absolute and utter failure and I wish more people would recognize this.

*applauds her* I couldn't agree more Schera. Thank you for saying out loud what I was thinking! (Also... prove that Olivert made the best choice in marrying her! When there is one thing our dear Prince... uh... Bard needs than it is a woman who doesn't hold back when it is time to say what is need to be said.)

Oh look! Its everyones favorite green Onion... (I love you so much Nadia ♥)

I was NOT looking forward to this reunion. Kevin and I do not go along well. Crossbell told me I do NOT want him to day... but I did like the fact that he didn't show up for 7 games. It was... a peaceful time without him I tell you...

HOWEVER this is the first Grahlsritter we ever met.

Well... I mean... I am glad he got relatively quickly that his flirty attitude was... uh... not exactly welcome. But... he is not a person to guide lost lambs. We should actually guide him back to his girlfriend instead. (What is wrong with those guys with actual ships being so darn flirty? - Okay to be fair, his ship is not introduced in this game and it is certainly not sailing yet.)

My poor girl... but it was about time she let it out.

I don't like Kevin for his flirty attituede with a freshly heartbroken Estelle and some other things we will talk about later, but you have to hand it to him, that he was a nice guy here. He KNEW Estelle was fooling herself and in absolut utter denial and that she would come home all hopeful and sure Joshua would be there just to find he is not and he decided to go with her so she wouldn't be alone when that happens. I do appreciate that.

But we've just arrived! There is no way in hell they could be here this fast, if they have not taken the Arsaille to get here. Our plane just landed after all.

Oh the Hero of Liberl needed Schera to give him a lecture to understand he wants his son back? What an idiot!

So... with all that out of the way... and a new resolve to give us strength, lets get the party started!

[georgieluz]

getting a few things off my chest about Gen Kill. sorry im in your inbox. but i am. you can publish this ask or keep it in the DM, both are fine.

First, actually the hardest series to watch in all three shows for me. I'm ok with the level of violence in the other two (as well as other trigger-warning content) but the level of civilian casualty in GK just really fuck with me. I find it very hard to want to rewatch GK, even tho I do like the show a lot.

Second, Both TP and GK, for me, are the anti-thesis and deconstruction of BoB. In two different ways. TP talks about another theater and how fucked up these stories are and basically pushes the audience away. Don't look, it's not a story to share (vs BoB that invite you to take part and be with the characters). GK is the modern day glory-seeking meaningless chaotic and toxic reality of the US military (vs BoB's fighting for the right thing, our officers are smart and capable). And they're both meta answers to BoB's more propagandistic story.

Third, ok, let's get silly lol. I have to say whatever is going with Brad and Nate is fucking homo. "Not to be homo sir, but I can kiss you right now" um what. And the eyes contact. Bro. Bruh. That being said... I ship BradRay xD Their bantering old-married-couple dynamic is more my speed, than BradNate victorian yearning dynamic xD

hello, no worries, it's all good, my inbox is always open for thoughts, insights and opinions! this got pretty long so i'm gonna put it under a read more so it doesn't annoy anyone

i published this bc i ended up adding a lot of my own thoughts about it and didn't want it to seem like i was directing them specifically at you or your opinion bc i do go off track a lot.

it was the hardest series for me to get into as well at first, for a similar few reasons. first of all, it felt like i was being dropped into a locked room with men who would hate my guts, and not just have bullied me in high school, but detest my existence too. so i think that atmosphere of over the top toxic masculinity instantly made me uneasy, but that's the point. that's the whole reason the articles, book and show exists really. to show how that mindset and atmosphere laid the groundwork for what happened. i think if they were to have made a show where we as viewers are allowed to laugh along with their jokes, enjoy their interactions, but not be forced to confront the realities of both the invasion and the people taking part, then it would defeat the message and themes that the show is trying to present to us. i think the civilian death, and basically the way the military treated civilians in general, has to make you uncomfortable, otherwise it's not doing its job as a text or piece of media. at least from the writer's perspective and what they wanted to say about what happened there, bc ultimately, everything is a construct with biases and a goal. so i 100% agree with you in that it's easily the most uncomfortable show to casually watch in that regard, but if it didn't show all of that, it wouldn't be a show with a purpose, imo.

i would personally put the pacific a bit closer to band of brothers than gen kill when it comes to discussing its propagandism actually. bc whilst it has the caveat of "this is the reality and brutality of war, it's horrific, you don't want any part of it" and "it's not all camaraderie and brothers being bonded for life", the show still has its 'heroes' who are depicted as sacrificing either their lives or their mental wellbeing for 'the cause', and it still carries the message of "yes this is terrible but it's needed". two things that propagandist themes can thrive amongst. just reading some of the more bootlickery youtube comments about the pacific shows how some of those people cling onto the brutality and harshness of that theatre of war, and the show itself, as a display of heroic bravery and badge of honour. i've seen a few commenters on reaction videos and stuff and they're basically frothing at the mouth about how it's so much more brutal than band of brothers, and they aren't saying it from a critical perspective either, which is what the show may have intended, but more from a "omg brutal war porn nice!!" kinda way. i know i'm rambling off point from what you said, but it's just some of my thoughts. i'm probably gonna ramble a bit in the rest of the post so don't see it as me disagreeing with your points bc i think we have pretty much the same opinion in most ways, but i guess your ask has prompted a lot of thinking from me so i'm just getting some of my thoughts out about the shows.

i think for me, i would say the pacific is a stepping stone between band of brothers and generation kill. i do agree in that it is pushing the viewer away from the idea of war as noble, in favour of saying "no! it's dirty and cruel and harsh and you won't survive it, even if you're alive when it's over" but it's also presented in the same way as band of brothers in regards to how we're supposed to view these men. there's many competent and intelligent guys making decisions and the humanity of those men is always on display. they're still shown as heroes, even if they're broken ones. so i think i can't fully align it with gen kill as a direct opposition to the messaging in band of brothers, but more one that says "ok, we've seen it from that perspective, now let's open up the casket up a little more and try to understand it looking through another lens".

whereas for me, gen kill sets explosives in the casket and blows that shit to pieces. there are no noble heroes competently achieving great feats, or sacrificing their lives for 'the greater good'. the people who do die, or get wounded, are seen as wasted casualties and missions gone wrong, fuck ups that we see in the corner of exterior shots to remind us that it's not all singing avril lavigne in a humvee, that there are consequences, even for the invaders. we see the destruction they inflict on civilians constantly, but the marines that get wounded/die are essentially proof of the incompetencies and fuck ups that even the most militaristic audience has to admit to.

the line of morality is non-existent, apart from a few people that we meet, but they have no power whatsoever. they can't actually do anything even if they disagree with what's happening. they stand by and they watch. we get nate who hates it, very clearly, but his whole thing is that he literally can't do anything. he has no actual power or impact on anything there. i saw a meme on here a few days ago where it was like "i'm competent at my job but i'm starting to think i'm just decorative" and it's funny and just a silly meme but it's also kind of the truth. we see him make a few decisions that go over the head of the initial orders, etc, but in the big picture, they have so little effect that it's a drop in the ocean comparatively. so the little competency we do have is ineffective. and even the more authoritative roles within the narrative that we get to see, like ferrando, are shown as not just making bad decisions, but actually not having much control over matters themselves. they're all floundering from top to bottom. there's no basilone or winters or ack ack there to make us sigh with relief as viewers bc finally, someone will make things right, make the right choice, do the right thing. instead we have these very complex people who have a lot of messed up flaws and shit within them, but some realistic relatabilities too. and sure, a good few of them want to do better and will call out certain shit they see in different ways (doc bryan, nate, espera, brad) but ultimately, they're forced to not just watch and let it happen, but a lot of the time, take part and be culpable for those actions too.. and it's not depicted as a noble sacrifice of their morality, it positions them as helpless and incapable. so the viewer doesn't get their usual hbo war heroes, which to me, feels like a direct answer to both band of brothers and the pacific in that kind of way.

i feel like walt's character shows us that (on a surface level basis but still). he's presented to us as the more appealing contrast to trombley. they're both young and in brad's team, two sides of a coin you could say bc we're shown immediately that trombley is the problem child and walt is the pretty golden boy that spends his scenes telling brad to get some rest or trying to fix the dodgy equipment they've got, or essentially is just trying to be helpful. but they both fuck up bad and kill civilians as an individual. we don't get to keep our clean innocent pretty boy. he fucks up. bad. his hands aren't clean. none of theirs are. not nate's, not even doc bryan's. he says that himself. walt clearly feels terrible afterward and that's the difference between him and trombley (though i will say i do think trombley is much more complex than we see on the surface), but walt doesn't get to escape the blood on his hands. even the most seemingly "innocent" characters never get to remain that in this show. there are no heroes.

and then the second point i mentioned above about the message of "yes was is terrible but needed sometimes" is the other thing that gen kill throws away and abandons. nothing, not a single thing, is depicted as needing to happen. yeah, they're told it's needed and honestly, a lot of those marines were brainwashed into believing it, but the whole point is that it wasn't. it was a colossal fuck up in every way and the show holds up a massive flashing neon sign showing us exactly how, but from the ground.

so absolutely fully agree with you that this show is positioned as a meta deconstruction to band of brothers themes, and even the pacific, especially when the shows are presented as a package deal, as hbo war so often is. it's all a lot more nuanced than what i've said bc i've just been rambling AGAIN, but i think there's a lot of dialogue going on between the three shows when you analyse them from further away that is really interesting to discuss.

so yup, definitely agree with what you said and thank you for dropping by my inbox to talk about this kinda stuff with me! i'm sorry if i went into too much detail or overtook this ask with my own opinions or anything but yeah. i think we all know by now that i tend to ramble when asked about anything!

NOW ONTO THE FUN PART!

it genuinely feels like bradnate have taken up residence in a very large part of my brain. i had heard a lot of people mentioning bradray on here before i watched, so i was expecting that to be the main 'ship' of the show, and kinda thought i'd probably end up getting onboard with that, but i actually only got platonic besties vibes from them. i'm always down for as much gay as possible, so i support it, but i just don't really see anything outside of platonic love between them? i do really enjoy their relationship and interactions though, and some of their scenes are my absolute favourites.

but i'm ALL about the victorian repression and yearning, so ofc bradnate is where it's at for me. as a gay man who repressed all his emotions growing up it just calls to me like a siren lmao. i think that's why i'm like a feral little gremlin about nate actually

[blacksupremacy86]

Captaining The Ship

Captain America lands on the edge of a city apartment building sliding into place finally peering in through glass roof top tier over the apartment.

Inside the top area of the abandon complex is a man sitting in the middle of the former place of social occurrences he sits on a gold throne.

Many guys are at his side falling to their row of many knees they sigh bowing their head in respect to this strange man who ruled over them.

Captain furious with anger rises to his feet in a haste he leapt in to the air then feet first crashing through the roof.

The glass shatters down on to the area it is raining in shattering pieces raining over all in a fit.

Using his shield to protect himself he does a super hero landing flipping to his feet he stood ready.

The defiance in his eyes Steve throws a kick and punch through the air then he throws a shield full force.

The shield bounces on all four walls as it is bouncing back and knocking each other out in a huge effort.

They all hit the floor at the same time he hit the man on thrown reaching out and caught the shield in his hand.

The man jolts up shedding his hand on to the ground letting it bounce back and Cap stood up.

Captain America takes a fighting stance and he goes out of avoiding attacks and throws hits.

The man flexes his arms when the window is roof top tier the light washes over him it is like that he is frozen in time.

I pace to the edge of the room passing him by a bit to his disgust he rolls his eyes at me.

I cup his chin spreading my body behind him as he shifts his body in avoidance of me in a fire of excitement.

I spin back to face him leaving in I slowly kiss his lips making out with him to his mouth fills up to its brim he wants to throw up.

“Who? Who are you? How are you doing any of this?” Cap questions me.

“Zip it Captain! I am in control from now on”

“You should have left well enough alone.”

“My name is Hypnotic silhouette”

“You approach me! Dare to question me as a criminal mastermind and still fight me.”

“I can do this all day”

“So you keep on saying”

“I will defeat you to the bitter end”

“Oh! You won’t”

“How dare you!”

“I can’t wait to break you”

“In your dreams”

“Fuck you!”

“Tsk Tsk…language”

“Bite me”

This so too great for me ride my feet in the air to kick his back into the wall pinning him down with my foot.

Steve makes a moves but I grab his chin and slam him into the wall kissing him yet again.

I reach out using the neck chain to restrain him tight following up I chain his body up entirely.

Neck, knees, feet, hands and arms with one hand I slap him hard and then get to work on manipulating him.

I am the Hypnotic Shadow standing tall in my place he gets a while eye full of me a remote in my hand.

My arm stretches into the air I press the first of two buttons as the doors, and windows shutter close.

“Oh Captain America! My love”

“Bite hard no need for resist”

“Fine! I’ll shove it in myself”

“Mmmmmpppppffff”

“What was that? So much better!”

“I can summarize”

“We will be thrilling each other”

“You can’t fight me, your eyes are drawn to the screen and falling into the abyss.”

“Deeper in to the abyss they go forever and ever.”

“Captain you keep avoiding me”

“You can’t stare away”

“Your focus is locked”

“Everything else vanishes”

“I am your world”

“Further into abyss”

“Hitting rock bottom”

“You are entering in to your inner mind”

“You are now in the subconscious “

The door opens up showcasing a light from the door blasting in to him exiting the blank space.

The staircase is a candle light of glory to the hallway he begins to descend one step at a time.

He guides him holding his face slowly kisses him surrendering in to the darkness he forgot it all.

Shoving him forward he is propel to the last lower step counting down each number he can feel.

His foot hits the floor following the other one he waltzes away in to the pitch black of the darkness.

He walks in to find a single chair, table and a candle forcing him to sit down his eyes connect to it meeting the eye line.

“A moth to the flame leading you in”

“Lean in”

“Give in to the darkness”

“Sweet surrender”

“I am the man of your dreams”

“My love”

“Captain America! Who do you desire?”

“I desire! Nnnooo….yyyyoooouuuuu”

“Sir Yes Master Lawrence Sir”

The end

[apocketfullofstones]

The Mandalorian s3 e4 Review

I don't know how, but the show got even worse. I made a list of everything I had a problem with while watching the newest episode and put it all together into a cohesive essay for you guys. (This is a long one btw)

Spoiler Alert!!!

So chapter 20 was basically filler, but can I just point out exactly how stupid the plot of the episode is.

First, when Paz's kid initially gets taken by big bird we are told that the Mandalorians were already fully aware of the creature that was flying around (because they mentioned that others had been taken) but, even knowing that they were vulnerable to attack, they didn't bother setting up sentries or keeping a keen eye on the kids? Or how about just finding a safer spot to train since that beach has been attacked on two separate occasions now, both incidents having plenty of close brushes with death. But, no. They just stand around and let their precious little foundlings be carried off by a danger that should have been brutally executed after the very first attack. No wonder they're almost extinct, they're so fucking stupid.

Then, Bo-Katan says she followed the creature back to it's nest and then she just... came back to the covert? Like, why didn't she take care of it then, while she was there? But whatever, what do I know.

She and the Armorer round up a team and the way that they go about planning the attack irks me. The reason why they didn't just assume that the kid was already dead and just plan the entire excursion around getting rid of the pest now that they knew where it's dwelling was is beyond me. I find that, if they would've changed the stupidly optimistic rescue mission to a revenge plot, it would've been much more believable and interesting because then we'd get to see what they do to anyone or anything who hurts their foundlings.

And then, if they really wanted to, the writers could introduce the fact that the kid is still alive as a kind of surprise or something instead of his survival just being expected. Besides, having the Mandalorians just assume that the kid is still alive is dumb and unrealistic because the writing had already set up the episode with the narrative that the creature kills every Mandalorian it gets it's claws into.

So then the team takes Bo-Katan's ship and get as close to the base of the mountain as they can before walking the rest of the way in order to avoid losing the element of surprise. They get there by nightfall and then they actually SET UP CAMP. I am honestly floored. They chose to wait a whole 12 hours (at the very least) before going into the nest, and now it's just insane that any of the Mandalorians could possibly think -after over 20 fucking hours- that the kid is still alive.

Din sees a heat signature in the nest, but conveniently doesn't mention that the blob is way too big to be the kid -since the three chicks revealed to be in the nest are fucking huge and that would translate to their heat signature size- and Paz recklessly climbs in while yelling for the boy. Wow. We went from Din and his people being established as thriving, tactical badasses in the first two seasons to all Mandalorians becoming useless, floundering idiots.

The writers really went and ruined an entire fucking race in just one 30 minute episode. Now that's impressive.

The babies freak out and the creature shows up again and spits up the kid which it had apparently swallowed (okay, how the hell did this kid survive being in its stomach for god knows how long? And how is he even conscious?). Meaning that the creature had flown back to its nest, did nothing?, swallowed the kid whole at one point and left again, then conveniently came back right as the Mandalorians get there. What? That timeline makes absolutely zero sense.

Then a chase happens and Din ends up saving the child and killing the creature by proxy when he sends it careening into the water and it gets eaten. But when they return, somehow Bo-Katan is the one to get all the glory? Even though her plan went to shit beacuse they got impatient and sloppy and they were forced to improvise? What? How? I get that the show is trying to set her up as a character that the audience should root for, but does it have to come at the expense of downplaying what other characters have done?

Din obviously made the heroic save, there were other witnesses among the team (and it was right there on the screen) so why didn't anyone set the facts straight? And besides, anyone who's done even an ounce of research on Bo-Katan knows that she's a trash human being with questionable intentions at best. So no, I will not be rooting for your shitty ass character with no redeemable qualities.

Also, I was actally surprised to find that I was genuinely disappointed in Din and his questionable parenting this episode because he was so shitty to Grogu. He actually forced Grogu (yes forced since it wasn't like Grogu could speak up for himself and refuse) into a fight -despite how small and inexperienced he is- with a kid like six times his size (that also outweighed him by a good 70 lbs). Thankfully, they only dueled using paintballs but wtf Din, the kid's so tiny that a small projectile hitting him in the chest winded him.

And Din was so neglectful. We see it when, after the foundling was snatched up, he immediately left the beach to go after the creature instead of going to Grogu to make sure the kid didn't get trampled in chaos (you don't understand, he's just so fucking small) or just in case there was more than one in the area (cause he didn't know much about the creature at that point). It's been established in previous seasons that Grogu's wellbeing is Din's number one priority, so much so that he'd break his creed and remove his helmet in front of -not only strangers- but the enemy as well, without any hesitation. So you understand why I was frustrated when it seemed like Din's initial instinct was to go after Paz's kid without even bothering to secure Grogu's safety first.

Then when Bo-Katan returns with the location of the creature's nest he goes with the team in order to retrieve the kid, leaving Grogu with a bunch of strangers that have - up to this point- basically just shown how incompetent they are. Like, in the opening of the episode, various Mandalorians and foundlings were just shooting their guns into the breeze as "training" when they should've been aiming at targets.

But the main problem I have with this season is the lack of an overarching plot. There is absolutely no established drive for why the characters are doing what they do. Like, at first I assumed that the entire season would be dedicated to Din going to Mandalore, the finale closing out with an impactful, emotional moment as he goes to the desolate planet to bathe in the living waters and maybe even say the adoption rights to officially name Grogu as his son. But no, he already redeems himself in like episode 2. Well then is Bo-Katan going to be an omnious enemy lurking in the background of the story? A looming threat that she could, at any moment, challenge him to a duel for the darksaber since they left off on such bad terms? Nope, wrong again. Then it has to be about Din accepting the role of Mand'alor and deciding to use the fact that he wields the artifact that gives him the right to rule in order to round up what's left of his people in a quest to re-inhabit Mandalore, build their numbers back up to their former glory, and preserve their culture? Of course not.

Then what the hell are we doing? If you don't immediately establish a clear directive for the story, then the audience has nothing to get invested in and nobody to root for. Oh, Din rejoined his convert, cool. But I wanna know why we should care. What does it do for Din? Are there any repercussions? What is he risking? What does he gain by re-attaining the favor of his covert? And all of this isn't even touched on, what could've been a very meaningful moment is instead brushed off as yet another side quest and completed by the second episode.

We don't get to see Din struggle. We don't see the emotional aftermath of him being essentially cast out from the covert (the only family he's ever known other than Grogu) or watch him slowly realize that being a Mandalorian is more than just keeping his face covered or even confront the fact that the "old ways" that his covert practice are archaic and dehumanizing. There's absolutely no character development, so there's no reward when Din completes his mission, leaving the whole "redemption" arc (if you can even call it that) feeling hollow and lifeless.