#i am not the best with body horror but this hits such a specific fear and discomfort for me

[panncakes]

im so close to finishing our wives under the sea and i have never read a more hauntingly beautiful story about love and loss and grief that also made me feel the most uncomfortable in my own skin before

[c0l0rsp1k3]

I dunno what au you're making something for but hit me

Go off

Blast me with the idea beam i wanna hear it

OK SO

Side order

But

1: agent 8 is alone

2: the monsters/enemies represent diffirent kinda of trauma and mistreatment and all that that 8 went through

TW FOR BODY HORROR

I already have one of the major enemies down. This AU's Parallel Canon.

They are a slimy entity that posseses 5 diffirent mangled bodies throughout the duration of the game, each with.. varying degrees of of damage and mangling.

AHEM

Now for the lore of the Canon. Here there is only one entity instead of a hivemind(from what i can tell of actual parallel. Unless they're just a quintet.), like i said, it is an entity that simply switches between diffirent mutilated bodies and puppets them accordingly to their weapon. Mechanically each of the Canon's bodies are diffirent. Some more stealthy some more dirrect. All the creatures as a representation of Agent 8's past trauma. Their worst experiences and actions. And the Canon is a good example.

It represents manipulation. Specifically through the propaganda that the higher up octarians spread to keep their people loyal and obedient. And the fear of whatever happened to those who tried to speak out. Hence why it taunts Agent 8 and spouts the falsities that Agent 8 had probably listened to for years. This causes damage to Agent 8's sanity meter, so it's best to scare away or distract Canon with a ink mine, suction bomb or toxic mist. (These i chose specifically to relate to trench warfare. As bombs and gas canisters were thrown into the trenches and mines laid out on the battlefield. And Canon represents manipulation from higher powers of a civilization that is highly militaristic.)

Allso take to mind I AM UNEXPERIENCED IN WRITING SO THIS WHOLE THING MIGHT BE SHIT LOL

Another thing i have down is the theme. Obviously.. trauma.

And this is where the Lost in Vivo inspiration for this AU kicks in.

Ilarily to the actual side order.. this is a simulation of sorts. Likely created by Marina. And it is meant to act as a form of exposure therapy similarly to the world of Lost in Vivo. All the environments and monsters represent 8's insecurities, fears and trauma. And by defeating them, 8 gets stronger and all that.

The monsters allso hhave a ranking system seperated into cattergories.

Mental (how much damage they do to 8's sanity meter), Physical (their damage from hitting you obviously), their danger (how advanced and adaptive their AI would be aswell as how much of a threat they are overall), Gimmicks and Effects.

For example.

Parallel Canon #1

Mental: -5

Physical: 8 to 20 (or more.)

Danger: 45

Gimmick: They adapt and copy you. To the point where you can barely attack them. However throwing a bomb or toxic mist right as they're attacking distracts and disorients them.

Effect: They cause agent 8 to take mental damage continuosly until knocked out. So get rid of them quick.

ALLSO no pearl drone in this AU. 8 is completely helpless and alone.

Edit: forgot to mention!! Parallel Canon, despite how bloodied they seem, is actually fairly clean when it comes to infections and such. As they obsessively disinfect their diffirent bodies over and over to seem presentable to their imaginary squadron. So yes, for anyone who wants to know because i know SOMEONE does, this version of Canon is still kissable aslong as you don't mind touching a mangled machine infested with dead coral and boils of jelleton flesh.

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

yes a thousand percent absolutely lets go

(firstly i am sorry my post put anyone to a point of feeling the need to apologize for or feel bad for being Very Into Leo’s character. as someone who is flagrantly Very Into Raph’s character, i promise i wasn’t trying to throw a stone in this glass house. i’ve gotten burnt out on a lot of fanon leo stuff but part of why im so !!!! about it is bc i too love leo’s characterization and potential.. i swear

catch me catching my brain and tone malfunctions behind dennys later, sorry again gang)

BUT YE I’LL TALK ABOUT MOVIE RAPH STUFF TO MY BEST CAPACITY ALL DAY

overall i honestly... totally get raph being hard to get a handle on in this respect. like it’s pretty difficult to pick where to start and how to express it even just in an informal tumblr analysis post, i still haven’t managed to put together any kind of fic myself LMAO. bear with me i will do my best!

so firstly there’s just the veritable gauntlet of “stuff raph experienced/was dealing with in the span of the movie” to consider, i think. 

- his fear and anxiety over his family’s safety, for which he always always feels personally responsible. when he called the retreat during that first fight with the krang, he was absolutely terrified-- and i can only imagine how much scarier it was after leo bailed on the escape pod. like, there’s no way raph was not hauling ass after leo the second he saw that happen.

= he takes a hit for leo, as in just barely stops it and loses a chunk of shell/plastron in the process. he sacrifices himself using his pod to get leo out of there safely (and there’s so much to be said about the fact that raph’s pod seems to be the only one that didn’t auto-activate. that only he and donnie seemed to know they even existed. there’s a whole talk they must have had right there, like raph would probably have had to ask specifically for this feature.)

- the krang try to intimidate answers out of him about the key, and when that doesn’t get them those answers, prime literally jams tentacles into his brain and roots around until he can find what they’re looking for. so that’s one bullet point on the list for outright mental violation. it looks/sounds very painful, not to mention terrifying. 

^^ and honestly, this point of suffering in particular is one that i think would be hardest for raph to actually bring up/talk about with his family. because none of them were there. none of them KNOW. and how do you explain that to them? how do you try to make yourself break that out when they’re already worried about the other stuff that happened to you and to everyone else? when part of you is guilty about it despite yourself, because so much of your identity is tied into being a protector that you can’t help but feel like you should have been able to wall that info off somehow and keep your family safe?

- gets infected by the krang and put into the big gross pod to... incubate, i guess? there’s so much unanswered about the point between brain torture and getting found by his family tbh. was he conscious and aware of being left alone in there? was that why he was so out of it even before the mutation?

- and then of course there’s said painful, grotesque body horror forced krang mutation that he has to go through once he’s out of the pod! thanks i hated it! like it seriously looks so gross and painful.

- ah yes and the mind control... being used as a tool and a puppet and specifically set out to hurt or even kill the family he loves and wants to protect. 

- the standard “we had our cool epic boss fight against the evil alien but he kicked our asses with one flick and then punched mikey and donnie all the way to staten island” physical roughage, too. leo portaled him after mikey and donnie so he could catch them. donnie took the brunt of the krang punch, and raph took the brunt of the hard landing (he is holding his side like he might have some rib issues, they all look rough af down there phew)

- leo’s sacrifice is leo’s sacrifice and definitely a leo development moment as an action itself, i’m never gonna say 'yep here’s how leo getting brutalized in prison dimension is all about raph’. i’m talking about the like, aftermath and pre-rescue emotional toll that that has etc etc etc. ftr.

point one there is obviously just the grief. like, raph is literally incapable of standing when it hits. he’s on all fours, he can’t open his eyes. i made a post comparing the caps of raph’s face getting stabbed and raph’s face when it was sinking in that leo was (apparently) Gone gone bc the expressions are nearly identical. like just. absolute agony. 

- and on top of that, i sincerely think that leo’s “you’re one to talk, hero moves are totally your thing” apparent last words are gonna stick with raph for a very long time. even after they save leo. the look on his face after leo says that... man. i think there’s a very real moment of raph going what have i done, what did i teach him? about the entire situation.

the way this is already tl;dr oh well SO IG SOME OF MY GENERAL TAKEAWAYS AND THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO POST-MOVIE RAPH:

first and foremost. rip raph sufferer of some of the most intense eldest child syndrome i’ve ever seen. he feels bad that he got used to get his family’s location. he feels bad that he got used to harm and nearly kill his family. he probably feels bad that leo feels bad that his shell is damaged, smh. it’s guilt all the way down. the kind where he knows logically his family does not want or need apologies, that getting controlled was literally not his fault, but he feels bad anyway.

and like i said i get how it’s hard to get a handle on him for stuff, because raph is also... not super good at the emotional vulnerability sharing? it’s so wild because he’s very openly emotional and easy to read! he’ll cry during a sad movie scene and yell at a frustrating video game no problem, he’s very straightforward! but when it comes to sincere vulnerability and actually seeking comfort/closure about it, he has a big struggle vibe. good luck to the entire family bc every single brother is gonna be in a “oh but everyone else already has so much to deal with i don’t wanna pile more on with my problems” zone, i think. 

also just like. raph is a protector. that’s one of the core pillars of his sense of identity and worth. he takes care of his brothers. he keeps his family safe. and so so so much of what he went through or experienced in the movie went directly against that. raph, the big brother, the beating heart of the team, the one who takes hits, the overprotective mother hen, gets used to track down his family, and then gets used to hurt them. very nearly gets used to kill leo outright. isn’t there to take the hit for leo again at the end of the movie, is helpless as his little brother seemingly sacrifices his life to save them and the world. how does he come to terms with that? how does he feel like he still deserves the trust and faith that his family puts in him to keep being a rock? (they’re not scared of him, but he’s scared of him.)

and for real seriously how does he ever ever get around to dealing with that brain probe and the mutation specifically. his mind and his bodily autonomy got so deeply violated in the process of this movie. it’s scary! and painful! what kind of scenario would a writer even have to rig up to back him into enough of a corner to share those feelings with his family (who would absolutely want to comfort and support him)! it’s nightmarish stuff that’s gonna linger with him for the rest of his life. 

and in fact on the mutuation/mind control. i think the fact that leo was able to get through to raph just with words, that that was how he managed to break through the control, maybe means that raph was aware of what he was being made to do all along and just. unable to pull enough strength together to stop it before that point. woof.

idk idk if any of this makes real sense or helps for getting a handle on raph’s character at all tbh, it’s just a lot of me nonsensically putting him in a jar with a leaf and a stick for scientific observation ig. if ppl wanna hit me w questions or discussions about my personal opinions on my favorite boi feel free tbh

maybe the real raph character analysis was the hug and nightmare-free nap he probably desperately needs all along....... ah its too late hes dissociating on the couch. relatable.

[wrongpublishing]

You Should Diversify Your Horror Rec List (Rec List Enclosed)

by Rae Maybee.

If you’re a Western reader, hopelessly in love with horror as hard as I am, you might have found you’ve gotten bored of the common tropes involving demons, poltergeists, vampires, and zombies. While it might be part of the fun for genre elements to provide reliable elements to a book that you’ll know you’ll enjoy, a predictable ending might conversely not be as hard-hitting and well… scary. 

Psychologist D. Zillmann proposes that enjoyment is the result of suspense and specifically, the anticipation of a resolution.* For this sense of suspense to be at its most acute, a reader must not know exactly how the plot is going to resolve—for better or for worse—because the resolution itself is technically less important than one’s anticipation of it. Dr. Neil Martin, summarizing multiple studies of horror film viewers, also proposes that enjoyment is associated with destruction, excitement, and unpredictability.** In other words, fans enjoy horror because they find it new, interesting, and stimulating; entertainment comes from the exposure to new ideas. (Usually,  horror does this well by shocking and appalling.)

Dr. Matias Clasen’s 2012 biocultural approach to horror, furthermore, examines monsters specifically as an adoptive storytelling form designed to help readers encounter and deal with innate fears.*** Most interestingly, he argues that there is a depth to horror that taps into our upbringing and the instincts we’ve evolved to survive—that is, environmental factors brought on by our culture and other surroundings.

While it is true that many cultures share fears and conceptualize similar ideas revolving around those fears, it is also true that there is a wealth of unfamiliar concepts waiting to be explored outside the boundaries of intra-national fiction. Using Dr. Clasen’s model, one could surmise that writers of different cultures will have grown up with varying fears, based on their unique geographies and socio-political climates. A writer from one continent might write a monster inspired by an animal that another continent doesn’t encounter, to give one broad example. And horror consumers will attest that religious and mythological elements play a big part in many subsets of the genre (those tend to be known for inspiring fear.)

To give an example from my own experience, when a reader who has consumed nothing but American horror is exposed to say, a demon possession in a book they’re reading, they may be able to predict its strengths and weaknesses (ergo, an exorcism). However, that same reader picking up a book from, say, Bolivia, might find themselves introduced to a threatening Pishtaco and especially worried about the powers it might yield. 

Of course, if you’re reading this and you’re already well-acquainted with the monsters of the Andes region of South America, fear not. I’m excited about a few other recommendations for books that will pique your curiosity.

Violet Kupersmith’s Build Your House Around My Body is a good example of a novel that winds around itself and consistently keeps the reader guessing. The story revolves around a young Vietnamese-American woman who has traveled to Saigon to teach English—and, hopefully, reconnect with her heritage. She gets far more than she bargained for, though, as her story intersects with almost fifty years of Vietnamese history coming back to (quite literally) haunt.

Stephen Graham Jones’s The Only Good Indians is a novel about four Blackfeet Native American men struggling with tradition, identity, and the wrath of a spirit hard-bent on vengeance. Readers are kept on their feet by the intense imagery and shifting points-of-view which never let the tension slack for a moment.

The Queen of the Cicadas, by V. Castro, follows a woman who’s returned to Texas for her best friend’s wedding. Once there, she comes face to face with a local legend, la Reina de las Chicarras, who was born from the unsolved murder of a Mexican farmhand. Part detective story, part tale of revenge, this book introduces readers to a number of goddesses and ghosts—and all the worse, the very harsh realities faced by migrant workers.

Whether it’s with the books above or beyond, I highly recommend seeking out and supporting authors from cultures and nations different to your own. Fear is such a universal emotion, and not only will more international interest boost chances of further translated works (we always need more), their perspectives simply demand to be heard. After all, it’s a big, diverse, and terrifying world out there. You already love it; why not wander further into the darkness?

Rae Maybee is a graduate student from Emerson College’s Publishing and Professional Writing program, and she’s published the following pieces online: “Momentary Imbalance” in The Bluffton University Literary Journal and “Challenging the Best to be Better” in Moreover.

*D. Zillmann (1996). “The psychology of suspense in dramatic exposition” in Suspense: Conceptualizations, theoretical analyses, and empirical explorations eds. P. Vorderer, H. J. Wulff, and M. Friedrichsen (New York: Routledge, 1996).

**Neil Martin, “(Why) Do You Like Scary Movies? A Review of the Empirical Research on Psychological Responses to Horror Films” Frontiers in Psychology 10 (2019). 10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02298 

***Mathias Clasen, “Monsters Evolve: A Biocultural Approach to Horror Stories” Review of General Psycology 16, no. 2 (2012): 222-229. https://www.ucentral.edu.co/sites/default/files/inline-files/monsters-evolve-cineclub-julio-2020.pdf 

[liketheinferno2]

sunpuddle: i've avoided it bc of how weird the fans are about its teen characters but given how excellent your FFXIV ("fuffciv") writing has been i'm looking forward to what you have to say about it, if you end up writing it out

[cracks knuckles] Right so. I don't really know how to explain it but, in another situation "the fans are weird about teens so I avoid it" might be justified, but CSM is something you read and then never ever ever talk to anyone in the "fandom" about.

Hard story to pin down but this is the core of it for me: It's about the kind of person -- Denji -- who is so isolated and neglected while still so young that contrary to the shounen protagonist who wants to be the very best, the most, the greatest, whatever, this kid hasn't had the luxury of wanting things. It is about trying to pull yourself through life when your circumstances change from pure survival into something where you should now have goals or aspirations like everyone else, but you literally don't know how to grasp them. And the goals that he says he has aren't really his own anyway. He wants food that he's heard people say is good. He's 16 and hormonal and lonely so he computes it as wanting to touch a boob, just once, and then he'll feel normal probably. + In a setting where humanity is hounded by horror monstrosity devils associated with things we fear, like "blood" or "guns" or "the future" or "angels" or "war" or "chainsaws," which grow in power based on how much that fear haunts people. ++ with an irreverent kind of humor because if this was just a flat out horror it wouldn't be competing with One Piece every week. I can't call it a shounen though.

Less specific to Denji it's always about systems of control people have over each other. So neglect and abuse is put up next to being controlled by your shitty job, being controlled by the physical nature of your body, being controlled by other people's goals, controlled by obligation, controlled by loved ones because their habits became your personality, controlled by what the government allows you to do, controlled by FEAR and love and sex and especially people who misuse sex to gain this control. There's a lot going on thematically and then a writing style that's like laughing while hitting you with a sledgehammer? The entire power system is based on people making contracts with devils to gain access to their powers at the cost of being controlled by something they fear.

And I think the reason people can't be normal about it is because a lot of the horror in Chainsaw Man is because all the characters are people, a lot of them are women, a some of the women are monstrously bad towards a protagonist who is too busy fawning over anyone giving him attention to notice this. Like the Misato Evangelion effect or how people are about abusive people in real life frankly -- "How am I supposed to feel about this? I like her, I know her, she's pretty, but what she's doing is awful, I can't reconcile this at all." Cognitive dissonance? Yeah. I can't recommend this one enough.

I didn't rant too much at the time but I think Chainsaw Man takes the medal for best thing I've ever read

[bonkers-4-hatter]

!Yandere !Vampire Kisumi X Reader - Love Bites

♥ TW: This fanfic has mentions of kidnapping, violence, assault, biting and mentions of blood along with the biting, forced intimacies, forcing self onto the reader at certain points and yandere themes and actions. ♥ If any of the above does trigger you, please do not read. All characters are 18+ as college is mentioned in the past tense. 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥                                                                                              ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥                                  You were never one to believe in such things as mythical creatures, it was just a bunch of nonsense. Of course, they’re wonderful tall tales to tell and talk about when you were younger, but you’re grown now; out of that phase you could say.

Tall tales, that’s all they were...at least you thought they were.

You could draw everything that you’ve experienced and seen as a lack of sleep, working too hard, or just needing a break to calm your mind, but with the most recent experiences you just couldn’t come up with an excuse for them and that very thought chilled you to your core. The dark figure standing in the corner of your room at night using the darkness as a veil, but the thing that stood out to you was the flickers of pink from the top of the figure's head from the small slivers of moonlight peeking through the closed curtains. 

Not only did the figure terrify you, but the touches were what set you over the edge. The soft touches that caressed your cheeks, head and the curves and contours of your body as the hands glided across your blanket covered body. You would always peek your eyes open only to see the same pink hair in your view.

The only person you knew with pink hair was Kisumi. 

He was your friend, a close friend at that. You guys did everything together, having been friends since College it just made sense for you guys to do things together. His behavior used to be carefree, fun and just free. Kisumi was a free spirit, but you noticed something change within him in the past few years; he was more possessive toward you. Always wanting to have your attention, scaring off potential significant others.

This wasn’t his usual behavior with you. Not only that, but his mannerisms have changed too. Not really eating in front of you, coming over at night only; claiming his new job had him working mornings many days and just being too exhausted to go anywhere with you during the day. Just weird things that have come up that rubbed you the wrong way. 

You hated that your mind went to these tall tales of Vampires, but you couldn’t come up with a normal answer. With his towering figure plaguing your mind, the touches that came in contact with your resting body and the constant fear and shiver of being watched by something unknown, hidden, just lurking in the shadows with their eyes fixated on you. 

Looking at how Kisumi was laughing and socializing with your guys’ group of friends, it’s as if nothing changed with him and he was the same ole Kisumi that everyone knew and had a great time with. He might have been able to fool the rest of your friends, but you knew something was up and tonight you were going to confront him even if you sounded like a lunatic. Taking a final drink of your (favorite drink), you placed some money on the table to cover your portion of the bill along with everyone else as everyone started to get up and say their goodbyes, making plans to meet up again next month as usual. 

Giving a final wave to your friends, you felt an arm snake around your shoulders and pulled you into a firm body. “(Y/N)-chan, let’s get you home.” Kisumi’s smooth voice filtered through your ears as you both made your way down the mostly empty sidewalk, the chatter and lively atmosphere of the restaurant dying away the further you walked away. The only noise that echoed around the silent street was both of your footsteps.

“You know I can get myself home, right Kisu?” He only shook his head and rubbed your shoulder, his cold skin giving you goosebumps as he brushed his fingers against the skin of your exposed upper arm. That was another weird thing with him, he was always cold now. He used to be warm, overly warm actually, always a human furnace. Now though, he was always cold to the touch and it always made you shiver no matter how many times it happened. 

“I know (Y/N), but I have to protect you from all the monsters out there, don’t I?” Another shiver ran down your spine at his question, you knew it was playful. It was Kisumi, he was always playful when it came to you, but this felt like it held an underlying meaning; like he was trying to tell you something. Scoffing, you rolled your eyes at his words. “Sure, the monsters Kisumi, whatever you say.” He laughed at your words as the both of you continued to walk down the street in silence. 

Clearing your throat, you decided to just ask him. “So, speaking of monsters, what do you think about vampires?” Kisumi stopped walking as he grasped your shoulder in a tight grip making you reel back as well. “What the hell Kisumi?!” Your shoulder burned a bit at how hard he dug his fingernails into your skin, but he still didn’t let go. Looking at his face he had a stoic look and his eyes were menacing in a way; narrowed and pointed right at you. “Vampires? Now, why would little (Y/N)-chan bring up such a thing as Vampires?” The malice that was laced in his voice was evident and downright terrifying especially in a situation where you were alone with him at night on an empty street. 

You tried to yank yourself away from his strong hold, but he didn’t let up. “It was a joke Kisumi, what’s wrong with you?” He only smirked at your words, before pushing against your shoulder until you hit the brick wall of one of the buildings. “A joke huh?” Placing his other hand on your free shoulder, he pinned you in place, the brick rubbing against your exposed skin in a way that it surely would leave marks. Before you could protest, Kisumi leaned down to your ear and whispered, “Do you think it’s a joke as you watch me in the corner of your room, or when I touch your delicious body in bed?” Your breath caught in your throat at his words. 

Your hands pushed hard against his chest, fear crawling up your body at his words. “That’s not fucking funny Kisu, I’m leaving.” Without waiting for him to respond, you shoved your way past him, resuming the trek to your house. Even the thought of your house wasn’t safe, it made you even more fearful, but you didn’t have much of a choice at this point. You felt like the darkness was suffocating you at this point and without a second thought, you ran the remainder of the few blocks, your front door in your view making you somewhat relieved. 

Deadbolting the door, your body slid down, settling at the floor. You felt exhausted, fearful and not to mention paranoid. Heavy eyes scanned the living room and what you could see of your hallway and everything seemed clear. Getting up with weak legs, you turned on every light in the house paying no mind to the thought of your electric bill nor how silly it seemed. This was what made you feel safe and at this point you were going to do anything to feel that way. 

After changing into some pajamas and trying to relax from the encounter with Kisumi, you found yourself wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, television playing a cliche horror movie. Wanting something to take your mind off what happened, you got sucked into the black and white film.

Your mind was completely preoccupied with the slasher film, blanket clutched in your hands, hiding your face behind the fuzzy comfort item as specific gory and violent scenes would pop on the screen. Usually you would watch these movies, any movie really with Kisumi...your mind went to your friend for a moment, not of the creepy things that have arisen recently, but of the memories of you both together. He would be here right now poking fun at you for being scared of these scenes, but also ‘protecting’ you from whatever was going on.

As your mind was wandering, you didn’t notice the presence next to you, not until a hand was on your thigh, fingers tapping against the supple flesh that was exposed from your pajamas. A scream erupted from your throat, but a hand clasped over your mouth, muffled cries were the only thing in the room, the noises on the television being drowned out by the thumping of your own heart. “Now (Y/N), this is the best part, hold in that scream for a minute, alright love?” His hand was still over your mouth and his free one was still trailing along your thigh. Side eyeing him, he sat there with a content smile on his face, eyes still glued on the screen. You stayed in that position for the next ten minutes until the credits were rolling.

“I loved watching these movies with you (Y/N), it was nice to be your savior when you got scared at certain scenes.” His hand uncovered your mouth, but started to stroke the soft skin down the slope of your neck getting dangerously close to the valley of your chest. “K-Kisu...how’d you get in?” Your body started to tremble as he just laughed at the fear pouring out of you at this moment. Gripping the back of your neck, Kisumi pulled you toward him, his face shoving itself into the crook of your neck as he started to place soft kisses along the slope of your neck and your collarbone. 

You felt his hot breath fan your skin as he answered your question. “Oh (Y/N), I think you already know the answer...I always tell you to lock your window.” The color drained from your face. Your window. The window that was always unlocked. It was something you didn’t think about because it was on the second floor. A place no human can reach because there were no trees, ledges, anything to help with climbing up. 

“Am I right Kisu?” A single question you needed answered. A heavy silence hung in the air as the man in question even stopped his kisses on your skin. “You’re always right (Y/N), I knew you would piece everything together, my (Y/N) is smart after all.” You could feel the sharpness of teeth scrape against the tender flesh of your neck, your breath hitching at the sensation. 

“I’ve always wanted to taste you, to know how sweet your blood is, I might get addicted to it (Y/N), but I don’t want to drain you dry...I want you around forever with me.” He laughed at the flinch in your body as he pressed his fangs a bit deeper into your neck. “You’re not ready to be changed yet either.” Sitting back up, he effortlessly pulled you into his lap, arms wrapping around your waist and anchoring you to him. “I think I’ll keep you as my personal toy until you’re ready to be changed, doesn’t my (Y/N) like the sound of that?” Fully grinning at the petrified look on your face, he showed you his sharp fangs, tongue sliding over them to add emphasis on what would happen if you disobeyed him.

--

You didn’t know what month it was, let alone the day. You just knew it’s been so long since Kisumi took you that night at your former house. After he had you in his arms, he told you what was going to happen. You got to pack what you could that night and he took you away. His home was your home now, or as he puts it, our home. 

He didn’t let you out, the house was your own personal prison and you...you were Kisumi’s personal blood bag. He didn’t want to kill you, nor turn you yet, but he had to have a taste of your blood, he tasted every other aspect of you and he knew he’d be addicted to your blood and it turns out he was.

Your skin was littered in bite marks. He would pierce your skin and take a drink from you, enough to make you dizzy before he stopped himself. He couldn’t wait for the wound to heal which is why he bites you in any available skin no matter where it is. 

He just wanted your sweet blood. Sometimes he would go overboard and will only stop if you pass out. Due to him feeding on you, you were exhausted. You turned into a shell of your former self with his constant feeding. Dark bags were under your eyes, droopy lids accompany them as well. All you wanted was rest, proper rest, but you knew you’d never get that again. 

You wouldn’t get anything you wanted again.

“(Y/N), my love, there you are.” Your head lolled to the side, Kisumi standing there with his usual smile on his face. The bed dipped down as his hands smoothed over your body, caressing any part of you he could get. He kissed your lips and made his way down to your neck. Before he could do anything, you whined out, hands weakly trying to stop him. 

“Please, not today Kisumi, I don’t think I can do it. I hurt so much, you drank too much yesterday, please give me a day to recover.” Kisumi cupped your face, thumb stroking the dark bags that decorated under your eyes. “Rest? (Y/N), we’ve been over this already sweetheart, I need to taste you everyday otherwise I might snap and we wouldn’t want that, right?” His hand clutched your face, squishing your cheeks together as you frantically shook your head not wanting to have him hurt you again.

“Good, that’s my good girl.” Placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he let your face go, a breath of relief escaped you as he bared his fangs and traced them over the scarred skin before sinking into the skin of your neck, a place he hasn’t touched in a week which was plenty of time to heal in his opinion.

“Ahh, Kisu...hurts, Kisu, it hurts..” Your weak voice flooded his ears, but he paid you no mind, you always struggled when he did this, but you were his to use and abuse to his desire. You were his little toy, his precious (Y/N).

The feeling of your blood sliding down his throat was beautiful. It was like a drug to him, he couldn’t get enough of it and he knew he was breaking you, but he didn’t care. He will turn you soon and you’ll be fine, but for now he needs you to keep hanging on. The quiet moans of pain only turned him on as he sunk his fangs deeper in your soft skin. “Kisu..too much, stop, please.” Soft pounding of your hands on his back snapped him out of his trance, Unlatching himself from your neck, your head fell to the side, eyes half lidded and skin heated after the ordeal. 

Licking a stray drop of blood from his lips and the puncture wounds on your neck, he was satisfied for now. Even though he was addicted to your blood, he was excited to turn you. You would finally be his forever, just as it should’ve been. Smirking at your worn out body, he gave you one last kiss before throwing a blanket over you and stalking off to finish your turning ceremony.

[skellebonez]

Hear me out: Spider Macaque in the Spider Monkie AU with prompts 14 and 35?

I hear you and oh this was way too much fun... I took a great deal of liberty with exactly how Mac transforms into his Spider Monkie form and who says what and the TIMELINE because I... re-wrote this into a ship fic because of you. I call it ShadowCodingShipping because someone had to name MacaqueSyntax eventually! I guess you could say this is definitely a what-if story more than anything.

Warning for body horror because Mac is slowly turning half spider and that's kinda gross and painful. Also this is hurt/comfort but heavy on the HURT. This does not have a happy ending.

Am I scaring you?/I believe I can be of some help here.

"Am I scaring you?" Macaque asked with a smirk, pain clearly barely held at bay behind it. The monkey demon was a mess, fur tussled and miscolored splotches that hadn't yet grown in properly littered his torso. His torso that had gained a good inch in the last failed attempt at... what they were trying to accomplish. "... are you going to answer me, scientist?"

Syntax did not answer. Whether it was out of fear or knowing that regardless his answer would not make the demon leave him be even he didn't know.

"Queenie calls you Syntax," Macaque continued, moving around the computer to watch him over the screen. "That can't be your name, can it? I didn't give enough of a shit to ask before now. Hey. Hey. Hey. H-"

"No, it is not my birth name," the scientist snapped eventually, watching as Macaque smirked in victory. "Only a complete fool would agree to work with someone as infamous as the Spider Queen and use their legal name as if they were sending an unencrypted message containing confidential information across basic messaging applications without a VPN. What in the world are you trying to accomplish?"

"Ooooo, wordy," Macaque chuckled out as he leaned against the monitor and made it tilt at an awkward angle. "I'm. Bored. Entertain me, scientist, you're the most interesting person in this place. believe it or not."

Syntax raised a brow at the demon, sighing as he continued to type into the computer. "Do you want this to be finished any time soon? Because the more you bother me the longer it will take. I may be able to multitask but humans have limits."

Macaque scowled for a moment before shrugging, failing at hiding a grimace of pain. It must have made the new bones in his spine ache horribly. But he moved easily past Syntax without a word, only whipping his tail against his shoulder as he left.

It didn't hurt at all... he wondered what the point of the gesture even was.

~

The screaming rang through the entire hideout, Syntax's ears ringing even as he covered them. They'd tried twice more in their attempts at Macaque's twisted idea, Spider Queen slowly seeming to become less and less comfortable with not only their methods but with what they were even doing. It was working, sort of, but not correctly.

The changes were supposed to be immediate, so fast that the pain receptors wouldn't register properly. Not for the comfort of the converted, but so that it would happen so quickly they wouldn't be able to fight it. Less pain, less of a change for your body to try to fight off the transformation. Syntax had insisted on mechanical changes, nano-bots or something of the sort instead of organic growth. Macaque himself had vetoed this, saying something about how it wouldn't make him feel whole again.

This made the changes slow. Too slow, so much so that the mixture was fought off by his immortal monkey biology too quickly for it to take hold the way it was supposed to, requiring Syntax to make it stronger and stronger each time in the hopes it would finally kick in.

Now Macaque laid on the ground, holding his face and screaming so much Syntax feared his vocal cords would give out. The last two treatments had lengthened his torso even more and changed his fur consistency entirely. Once soft and thick black fur was a mixture of that and the coarse purple hair of a spider, not meshing together at all and instead forming an odd pattern on his body. At some points silver had begun to peak through, though if that was supposed to happen or if it was a reaction to the sheer stress of his body undergoing a change that should not be happening he was not sure. Syntax could see the red mark on his face warping, changing into the same purple on his torso around his eyes and moving up on his face as two more eyes grew above the ones he already had. It was fascinating to be sure, and he would have said that it was almost pretty had it not seen the build up of them forming in a fashion he wished to never see in slow build up ever again.

He was a scientist. He was supposed to be impartial to his work above all else, and he had agreed to help of... mostly his own volition. But this... This made him more uncomfortable than he was ready to admit.

"Help him up," Spider Queen said after Macaque collapsed onto the floor, screaming ceased as his body fought off the mixture for the fourth time. She looked... perturbed. Discomforted. "After his last treatment... move on to your idea. We are not doing this again."

She moved out of the room quickly, to fast to even tell her if he would or not, covering the side of her face with her hand to shield her from the sight of the collapse man on the floor. Yes... discomforted indeed.

Syntax didn't have that luxury. And he would not leave Macaque to lay on the floor regardless of orders. But the way he shook and covered his new eyes and the small amount of tears leaking from his normal eyes made a pang of pity shoot through him. He was a scientist... but he was still human.

"I believe I can be of some help here," he said softly, taking off his lab coat and folding it part way before shoving it under Macaque's head and laying the unfolded part over his face. The demon let out a half whimper, clearly bit back as he didn't want to show weakness, but eased ever so slightly as he realized the coat blocked out the light of the lab just as well as his hands had. "It's not a perfect solution, but it gets the job done.

"Th-thought Queenie s-said to help me u-up," Macaque stuttered out, moving his hands to grip the coat instead of his eyes.

"Yes, but that would be a bad idea," Syntax explained, sitting on the floor next to him with a sigh. He pulled his tablet down from a nearby table, there was no point in not getting at least some work done, and began scribbling away with the attached pen. "Your eyes are far too sensitive and with the other changes you have gone through your body will likely collapse again before we could get you to a cot. It's best you remain stationary for the time being until I am able to assess your pain tolerance properly, then I will move you to your quarters."

Macaque didn't say anything, just huffed in reply and seemed to relax. Syntax wondered if he was thankful he wouldn't have to move immediately this time, and he could have sworn he heard something... rumbling.

Maybe it was the machinery behind them.

He felt Macaque's tail hit his side after a while, thumping softly against him... but he didn't push it away.

He wondered if this would change anything at all.

~

Syntax saw more of Macaque than usual after that. Sometimes he would wander into his lab and just... stay there. Silent as the shadows he liked to hide in. Sometimes he would just watch him work, other times he would bring him plums or mangoes. Syntax never had much of a taste for fruit, not really enjoying any form of sweets, but he would not pass up free food when his stomach rumbled in protest from his long hours. One time Macaque had brought in a book, sat on his desk, and just read it.

That was bizarre, even for him. But Syntax found he didn't exactly mind the company. It was quite... lonely in the lab. He was the only human in the Spider Queen's entourage and her other two companions weren't exactly the best company. Oh, the big guy was nice and all and Syntax even enjoyed his presence well enough. But he would grow bored of the scientist's techno babble and science talk eventually and leave with a nod and a wave goodbye. He was grateful that he seemed to listen, however, even if he wasn't interested in the specifics.

The other one, however, was a pain in his ass. Constantly one upping him, trying to belittle him for being a human, just being an all around annoyance. He tried to act cool and suave but Syntax just found him obnoxious.

Macaque... Macaque stayed, listened even if Syntax ran out of things to talk about. And it was oddly nice. He felt himself growing excited for when the part-spider part-monkey would make his presence known.

He wondered, distantly... if Macaque was starting to mean something to him. To matter, in a way.

~

The day of the final treatment eventually arrived and Syntax actually dreaded what might happen. This was their last shot to make this work completely, there was a greater than 0% chance that this would cause irreparable damage to the monkey demon if they had to continue farther. But it seemed his worries were unfounded. He was smart, a genius even. He had done his job properly, even if it had taken far too long and was the least beneficial way to accomplish the goal.

Macaque screamed worse than with every other treatment, and understandably do. It would have shocked him if Macaque hadn't since he was growing two new arms.

The Spider Queen had taken her leave shortly after, disgusted by the sight before her. It was Syntax's job to watch as Macaque slowly changed before him, bones and muscle and sinew growing slowly and bit by until finally... finally it was finished.

They had learned from last time, placing a cot on the ground for him to sit on while this happened, and he collapsed onto his back. Two new arms limp against the floor as he shook and twitched and cried cold tears in agony. But it was finished.

Syntax couldn't stop himself. He rushed forward, kneeling beside Macaque's head, watching his eyes and expression for recognition and any sign that he was alright. It had only been two weeks since the last treatment, the time needed for him to recuperate, but in that short time... he had grown oddly fond of the man on the cot. He did not know what he felt for him, not yet, but he knew that he did not dislike him in the slightest.

"Ma-Macaque?" He asked softly after no response for nearly 15 minutes, waiting and watching and finally Macaque's eyes turned to him. "How do you feel?"

Macaque didn't say anything to him at first. Just blinked before a weak chuckle resounded from his throat.

"Whole."

~

The transformation was a mistake. Syntax had never felt guilt for any of his scientific achievement before, and he did not feel guilt for helping the Spider Queen in her endeavor, bit this? This he felt guilt for.

Macaque was in pain. Constantly. Sometimes it was just a dull ache, other times he almost collapsed as something moved the way it shouldn't and he had to bite back a scream. But there was no taking it back now and Macaque reveled in "feeling whole" again.

Syntax felt a mix of awe and wonder whenever he looked at the demon. He was... handsome, the purples and blacks and silvers of his fur blending together properly now. His eyes brilliant gold and green. And when he wasn't in pain his smile was nice, soft even if he could call it that. He was unsure of how much of it was true, he knew the Six-Eared Macaque to be a trickster. But he hoped some of it was, at least when directed at him.

But when he was in pain his face twisted in a way that made Syntax sick to his stomach to see it each time the agony rang true on his face. But Macaque brushed it off, not seeming to pay it much mind. Not when he had his eyes and arms "back".

The Spider Queen agreed with him, he could tell, but probably not for the same reasons. She seemed frightened of him. Goliath and Huntsman were just scared of him too. They avoided him like he would kill them on sight.

Syntax, despite his guilt, welcomes his presence still. He was not frightened of Macaque in the least. No, he just felt guilt that he was in pain. And he would never not want to help him through that now. The spider monkie had grown attached to him, almost a constant companion at his side. And he had grown fond of him as well.

He learned that Macaque had a flair for the theater. He made shadow puppets when the Spider Queen wasn't watching, though for what purpose and what audience Syntax had not asked. He liked to watch Syntax work, and eventually as he started to rest his head on the human's shoulder he learned the rumbling from the second to last treatment was a purr. He didn't know demons could purr, let alone to speed up recovery from injuries.

But the day of the Lunar New Year was coming and Syntax could tell he had something else... someone else on his mind.

~

The next day was to be the day. Syntax's last chance to get the new formula and tech right. It almost felt like a repeat of the past treatments but with less screaming. He was worried.

Macaque wasn't, however. He had never been worried, assuring the Spider Queen (sometimes through growls and bared teeth) that it would be done in time. He'd been a success after all. (Syntax said nothing each time.)

They'd never been this close before, but Macaque had eventually dragged the scientist away from his computer for rest. Taken him to his room, sat on the bed with him, and just. Held him. Purring loud and deep and eventually Syntax was lulled into slumber sitting up against the soft-coarse fur of Macaque.

He realized that Macaque mattered to him more than he cared to admit.

~

Syntax had failed. His formula and tech hadn't worked. They only had one shot left, and there was no time for him to fix his mistakes before the end of the celebration. Macaque had been in too much pain, on the other side of the room, to tell Spider Queen off this time. It was all over...

Until she came. The young woman in white and blue. She'd done something, added an ingredient he had not been able to calculate for, and then...

"Let's give it a spin," Spider Queen had said with a smirk as she turned toward her human scientist... her human guinea pig.

"Wait, no!" Syntax backed up, knowing that it was almost pointless to attempt escape. There was nowhere to run. "I helped you! You need me! Maca-AGH!"

Before the spider monkie could rush to his side the little spider drone had jumped on Syntax, adhering itself to his face before he fell backward over some machinery. It crawled around him, situating itself on his back and digging in it's injectors and

pain agony pain pain something came out of his back pain another painpainhescreamedandscreamed ANOTHER AGONYISTHISWHATMACAQUEFELTPAIN one more

And then it was over. Syntax felt... nothing. No pain. No agony.

No... guilt.

He stood straight, facing forward before kneeling. He knew what he had to do.

"My queen."

Yes. His queen. The Spider Queen.

She was the only one who mattered to him.

He heard his name spoken from the other side of the room but paid it no mind. That voice didn't matter to him.

That wasn't the voice of his queen.

~

"Syntax?" Macaque called, unable to stand from his spot as his arms throbbed in ghost pain. He had tried to stand before, when the drone had lunged at him, but the pain shot through him for a split second and send him to his knees too quickly.

His screams... his screams made his ears pull back not from the pain of the volume but from fear and something else.

Then Syntax stopped screaming and stood and knelt before the Queen.

"Syntax!"

... he never responded.

Macaque wondered if this is what guilt felt like.

[thebestpersonherelovesbucky]

Falcon and the Winter Soldier Ep. 6 Takeaway

First let me say that I really truly enjoyed this show. I was so nervous at the beginning and I was so nervous for the end, and though there are things that I didn’t like (as to be expected with pretty much any media) my overall excitement was rewarded. I definitely give the show an A and can only hope that we keep getting things like this and WandaVision with their next shows.

Anyway.

Sam and Bucky (and Sharon) coordinating from their different spots. I always like seeing the tactical side of working together in addition to the badass fighting together stuff. 

The officer not questioning Bucky’s presence and calling him Sargent Barnes made me SO happy.

The facial mask thing-y that Natasha had in Cap 2 making a reappearance. Idk why I like that but it’s nice to know that these things are still being utilized.

CAPTAIN AMERICA’S FIRST ENTRANCE!!!! my GOD did Sam ROCK that!!! Fucking AH-MAY-ZING. 

Sam’s new costume is perfect like the comics!! It’s so often changed that it’s so great to see it on screen! 

“I’m sorry, wait. Who are you?” “I’m Captain America.” The parallel between this is Steve’s “Um...Captain America.” in the First Avenger. 

The subtitles saying “Captain America” now whenever Sam in uniform talks.

Bucky trying to talk Karli down, approaching from a different angle than Sam because it’s what he knows and honestly does want to stop her without it coming to a fight. Especially when he realizes it’s a trap and is all “oh fuck me” and needs to haul ass lol. That is Bucky Barnes to a T. 

“Seriously, Bucky, you had one job.” Omg, Sharon. lmao

Sam’s fight with Batroc was so cool. No serum. Just straight up ass kicking plus the au revoir at the end. Yes please and thank you.

Redwing!!!! Yaaaay!!!! (”a little birdie told me” lmao, Sam.)

Seeing the Vibranium wings in ACTION. Bouncing a freaking helicopter off them! FUCK!!!!! SO COOL!!!

I can watch Bucky Barnes throwing himself off a motorcycle all day long. 

Bucky stopping his fight to save everyone.

John Walker and his stupid Walmart Shield arriving just in time to add fire to fire. Thanks, bro. 

Bucky specifically being thanked for rescuing them. He’s spent so much time with so much guilt that having just one person say “thank you for rescuing us” actually made him pause. He’s spent so much time as the “villain” that he’s forgotten he can be the hero and it’s so good to see that finally hit him. 

The metal arm scraping across the ground. Good god. 

Sam popping out of the water and “Boy, you earned this ass whooping!”

That helicopter scene holy SHIT is Sam amazing. 

And some applause for Ayla, too!!!! 

John Walker ultimately choosing to save people instead of going on with his vendetta. Very comic book in character. 

Bucky watching in horror as the van is slowly going over the edge and then smiling in wonder and awe as Captain America saves them all. 

“That’s the Black Falcon there! I tell you!” “Nah. That’s Captain America!” Tears. Actual tears. SO MANY TEARS. Sam Wilson IS CAPTAIN AMERICA, baby!!!

Uh, yeah, so Bucky stopping weapons mid-air is one of my favorite things ever.

Okay, Batroc, go the fuck away now, we’re done with you. 

I do like that when push comes to shove, the mission outweighed their personal grudges and Sam and Bucky “teamed up” with Walker. Not that it was 100% trust on their side. I think Bucky followed Walker bc “eeeeh....can we really trust him?” and since he has no doubt Sam can handle himself, but also, we’re fighting the same thing right as of this moment so lets just keep our heads and do it. 

I am absolutely not thrilled with the direction they took Sharon. Like. Not at all. I’m...reserving full judgement for what I’m assuming will come in the future but like. No. Nuh-ah. Not happy with it.

Sam trying so hard to help Karli. The fact that he legit refused to fight her and she tried so hard to get him to fight back and he just wouldn’t. So beautiful and poignant. Sam’s fighting style. Sam perseverance. Just. Everything about that.

As good as the scene was (and I think it was great. The set up. How it all went down. The raw emotion) I’m kinda bummed they killed Karli. I was hoping Sam could at least talk her down first. However, the emotion and symbolism of her dying in his arms, and whispering “i’m sorry” was so heartbreaking. 

The way Bucky and Walker got the rest of the Flag Smashers was hilarious.

Sam carrying Karli’s body cradled in his arms and flying down with her like a literal angel? I mean. Just rip my heart out. 

“You have to stop calling them terrorists.” and “Your peacekeeping troops carrying weapons are forcing millions of people into settlements around the world, right? What do you think those people call you.” These first few lines of Sam’s speech. God, thank you.

Sam’s Captain America Speech. No fuck’s given. I’m so glad they didn’t hold back and just let him really give that powerful speech. Unabashedly saying “I’m a Black man carrying the stars and stripes. What don’t I get?”. Admitting the weight that comes with it and the judgement he feels. Not backing down. Telling the world he is Captain America “no super serum, no blond hair or blue eyes”. Defending Karli and trying to get them to understand what she was trying to do and why she was trying to do it. Sam was 100% born to be Captain America. 

Everyone watching Captain America’s speech. Bucky. Walker. Isaiah and Eli. Joaquin. Sarah. The world. Beautiful watching Captain America deliver his first speech. 

“Sorry I was texting so all I heard was Black guy in stars and stripes...nice job, Cap.” That back clap Bucky gives Sam there? ((#boyfriends))

“Can you help?” “Always.” 

Very happy that Zemo had another villain move up his sleeve. Didn’t really dig the whole “i’m so graceful feel sorry for me” thing. 

John Walker becoming US Agent.  

Oh and, excuse me while I geek out over Valentina, Walker, Zemo...@marvel, I see where this might be headed. Please don’t let me down!

Bucky making his amends with Nakajima. The overwhelming emotions. The fear of admitting it. I kinda wish we saw a little more but I’m also okay with the ambiguity of it and knowing that Bucky knows that he at least gave him closure and is coming to accept that his role as the winter soldier was not his fault. 

Also liked Bucky giving the book to his therapist. I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but I take no issues with her and I do think that Bucky felt she helped him.

Eli Bradley is fucking adorable. 

Sam’s conversation with Isaiah. All that hope he represents while not erasing the pain that Isiah and generations before them suffered. Still wanting to fight for what’s right just because it’s the right thing to do. Isaiah not condemning Sam’s choice. Beautiful and poignant. 

Um. The museum scene? Yeah, I had to pause for a good ten minutes before I could actually continue with the show. Isaiah Bradley and all his men deserved that ((and so much more)) for so long. The catharsis so visible when Isaiah hugs Sam so tight. The zoom in on the statue. Okay, I’m crying again. 

Yeah, so when Bucky’s boyfriend has a BBQ he shows up like dancing like a dork with a cake and plays with all the kids.

Honestly, happiness looks so good on him. It’s so nice to see that again. 

They really ended it with Sam and Bucky embracing and walking off together in the sunset. 

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

Again, still not thrilled with what’s going on with Sharon but clearly they’re setting up for something so...I’m putting a bookmark in to hold my judgement. 

Bc honestly, my biggest focus is:

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

Seriously though, overall, I think this was one of the best things Marvel has put out there in a while and I know I’ll come back to it again and again. Here’s hoping to more Cap to come!!!! 

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Creation”

Happy Saturday, everyone! Oh man, oh man, oh man. I think I'll need to steer clear of the general RWBY tags this week, simply because I know the sort of responses I'll see to this episode. From smug celebration at Ironwood's downfall, to bad takes about what makes us human, this episode is a petri dish of sensitive material handled insensitively.

Let’s unpack it, shall we? 

We open on an action that feels like a summery of the last three volumes: a grimm attacks an airship from the front, no doubt killing its pilot, while the other grimm conveniently ignore our heroes, no masking in sight. The group looks a little sad at the destruction around them, but ultimately ignore it because they have bigger, heroic things to do. I could write a whole, additional essay on how the huntsmen code — to protect the people — has been warped and abandoned by our protagonists in their effort to do what they think is right. It's a tale that might have been compelling if only RT knew they were writing it.

We get a shot of Atlas drones unloading the bomb before one is taken out, presumably by Qrow and Robyn. Segueing to Ironwood and the Ace Ops, they're waiting for Penny to arrive, the former carrying a massive gun presumably capable of capturing her. Despite the horror we saw on their faces last episode at the realization that Ironwood would kill Marrow for speaking up, it seems that now the Ace Ops are entirely in agreement with these measures. A week ago the implication was that they fell back in line out of fear, but now Harriet talks passionately about "putting down" the group if they were stupid enough to accompany Penny. "The General gave his terms." Vine sighs at this, but doesn't actively disagree. He's just "retracing the steps that led us here."

So, congratulations on introducing four new characters, not bothering to develop any of them, killing one off while ignoring Qrow's hand in that, and having the other three become all, "Yeah! Mass murder is a perfect solution!" off screen. Marrow is the only one with something resembling development and, as covered in these recaps, that's been pretty badly executed too.

Ironwood sends them to deal with Robyn and Qrow after Winter reappears to "assist" him. That gets quotation marks because most viewers at this point have realized that she's who our two birbs spotted in the elevator. Winter isn't on Ironwood's side anymore, she's just skillfully clearing the field for the final attack. Indeed, we get a moment where she hesitantly brings up the bomb and Ironwood responds that he hopes she's not going to try and talk him out of it. No. Winter doesn't think that's possible. This was her final attempt at peace.

One of the reasons why I think I'll stick to my own blog for a while is because the fandom has a tendency to paint broad personality traits as evil when applied to some characters, yet simultaneously heroic when applied to others, when really it's about how that those traits are used. What I mean is, I've seen a lot of Ironwood critical posts that emphasize how stubborn he is. He thinks he's right and he won't back down. He wont listen to others. He's going through with this plan and if anyone tries to stop him? That's their mistake. Totally evil, right? Except, this is the exact same behavior Ruby displays, particularly in Volumes 6 and 7. She was stubborn about stealing from Argus and continuing the fight to the point where it endangered her and her teammates, to say nothing of the rest of the city. She refused to listen to Qrow, or Ironwood, or the Ace Ops, loudly announcing that she was right about, well, everything. If they didn't agree with her, the options were to leave the group entirely, or fight her. The actual difference here is that the writers have taken Ironwood to an extreme, one that's incredibly easy to understand as bad because it is bad: bombing Mantle has no defense. Ruby pulls the exact same nonsense, it's just not to that same extreme and her actions are followed by scenes that are meant to make us forgive her: a sad look because she didn't mean to get a city attacked by a leviathan grimm, a cry on the staircase because she didn't mean to risk the lives of an entire kingdom... even though she did. Ironwood is the bad guy because he's been written to take specific, OOC actions like shooting unarmed kids. He's not the bad guy because when other characters go, "Don't do this" his response is, "I have to." Because that's been Ruby's motto ever since she "had" to use the Lamp to rip Ozpin’s life story away. RWBY introduced those extreme actions of shooting the youngest in the group (for no reason) and threatening to bomb a city (for no reason) or shooting a councilman (for no reason) because when you remove those you've got a man who looks exactly like our hero. Ironwood's arc has been peppered with these confusing, unpersuasive actions because if you just keep the story as him stubbornly keeping to a plan he thinks will save the world, you're left with the reminder that all Ruby has done lately is stubbornly keep to plans she thinks will save the world. This moment with Winter just highlights how ill thought out Ironwood's descent has been because he does everything Ruby does... with a few, tacked on, “and randomly shoots people!” moments to ensure we understand that he’s definitely evil. No comparison to our heroes here, folks! 

Ironwood is a bad guy now. That’s certain, but he was made that way so the story never had to grapple with the question of what that means for Ruby if we really start condemning things like lying, secrets, stubbornness, or endangering others for the greater good. Well then damn, if we strip away the hypocrisy then she might not be a good person after all. Or the people she’s simplistically labeled as bad might not be the devils Ruby claims they are. 

But that’s a level of nuance RWBY would rather pretend doesn’t exist. 

All of which is highlighted by Ironwood’s reaction to "Penny." He sighs and sags over the gun, immediately putting it aside. With his hand on her shoulder, Ironwood tells her she's "done the right thing." Precisely the same way Ruby would lower Crescent Rose and give someone a smile when they decided to fall in line with her.

Which, of course, is the moment when Emerald reveals herself, dispelling the Penny illusion and revealing Team JNPR The Second behind her. She gives a quip about it feeling "weird" to do the right thing before disappearing.

From there the action picks up fast. I really enjoyed this battle simply from a choreography and energy standpoint. It gets the blood pumping, Ironwood's hand-to-hand is spectacular — especially that moment against Ren — and the group actually displays teamwork for the first time in what feels like forever, all of them needed to land a hit on Ironwood. As always, out of the context of the rest of the show it feels and looks great. My primary issue is that we get this fantastic fight against Ironwood. Not Salem, not Cinder, not Watts (like last volume when Ironwood was still a hero), not even Emerald as a means of transitioning from murderous villain to the group's best bud. No, what's arguably the best action sequence in the volume thus far goes to beating up the guy they betrayed from the start. There's no catharsis for me here, only frustration as we watch Ironwood stand in shock as Winter powers up Nora — who's fine now, I guess — and she slams her hammer into his face. 

It never should have come to this and when a good character is done so dirty, their downfall doesn't evoke the emotions the writers are looking for. Watching Ironwood fall doesn't generate feelings of victory, or even tragedy at a course of events others were powerless to stop. It's just frustration at watching years worth of bad writing, sprinkled with fantastic ideas that never go anywhere.

Oscar gets a few hits in, Ironwood snatches his cane, and just as he's about to throw a punch, Winter arrives with the most dramatic sword slash I've ever seen.

Ironwood's aura breaks and he falls, unconscious. We cut to an image of a droid's head separated from its body, one of Robyn's arrows through its skull. That doesn't have meaning or anything.

I suppose I should be grateful they didn't rip Ironwood's arm away during the fight, or outright kill him, though I'm still expecting him to die before the end of the volume.

Hmm. Wouldn't that be something? If after Salem's arrival, freezing cold, a Hound attack, grimm soup, a giant whale, a massive army, and a hack ending in self-destruction, the one character who actually dies is Ironwood. 

It's looking more and more likely.

Honestly, beyond all the obvious, what's so frustrating about this fight is that characters are only now using their impressive abilities to their fullest. Emerald creates an entire fantasy of what's happening and then straight up disappears, but she only does a half-assed version of that when fighting against Penny. (And really, she put more effort into helping the heroes she just joined over Cinder, the woman she's been obsessed with since the start?) Marrow refuses to use "Stay" against a group they wanted to peacefully arrest because that's just too horrible an act, I guess, but he'll do it on his own teammates the second Qrow and Robyn don’t want to fight.  

This is what I mean when I say the rules of the world bend to assist the protagonists in absurd ways. It's not nearly as egregious as Amity suddenly being up and running, but the fact that characters become substantially more powerful while fighting for the protagonists than they do against them is still a significant problem.

So Ironwood is down and out. As much as I hated watching that and didn't necessarily want more, am I the only one who felt like it was... a bit lackluster? I mean, the action was great, yes, but relatively short. There was no dialogue, such as another delve into the moral questions that led to this fight in the first place. There certainly wasn’t any hesitance against fighting a former ally. (Again, we’re meant to believe that the Ace Ops won because they just couldn’t bear to fight the group seriously, but every former ally here is capable of wailing on Ironwood without a single pause or pained look?) Ironwood just skillfully blocks for a while, is blindsided by Winter's betrayal, and then falls unconscious. Given that we learn he and Jacques will be evacuated after the rest of the kingdom, it's possible he'll escape somehow and we'll get a fight 2.0, but if not that feels like a rather tame end to the guy forced into the antagonist seat. Plus, what was the point of having Qrow frothing at the mouth to kill him this whole volume? I never wanted that to happen, I'm glad it hasn't, but I'm nevertheless left to ask why we bothered with that eleven episode side plot if we were going to erase it with one sentence from Robyn about Qrow being better than this. If that's all it took, let them work through Qrow's irrational anger while sitting around in a cell.

Winter tells the group to move onto "phase two" which is when we're treated to a flashback. We return to the ending of the last episode, with Ruby realizing that opening the vault is an option. Jaune, all smiles, goes, "We never considered using what's inside!"

This is what I mean about no consequences! This is what I mean about it all being a meaningless circle that ends with undeserved praise for the group! We started this horror show with Ironwood going, "We don't have a plan to protect the people, so I'm going to take what people we do have to safety" and the group going, "We don't have a plan either, but we're going to stop you implementing your plan because it's not perfect, risking a kingdom's worth of lives in the process." Now, the group has used two plans, one of which two characters knew about at the start and another they could have devised with the information they had. Oscar and Ozpin's, "We have an all powerful magical blast in our cane" and the group's "What if we used the Staff for something other than raising Atlas?" are both things that could have come up in the office debate. These were both always on the table! Instead, Ruby grew furious over the mere thought of cutting their losses, betrayed Ironwood again, attacked his people, denounced him to the world, and then two days later goes, "Oh wait! We could do something now that we could have easily done before if we hadn't made a needless enemy!" 

Everyone realizes how much worse they made things, right? Turning against Ironwood, bringing everyone left in Mantle directly under Atlas, sitting around while an army was devoured, drawing it out until Penny was hacked... all of it would have been avoided if the group had thought and discussed things for a few minutes, not jumping straight to violently resisting what Ironwood came up with first. "We never considered..." Ruby says. Yeah, you didn't, except that's not something to smile about. The group made the situation a thousand times worse with their reaction when they could have just magically evacuated the kingdom from the start. “Maybe we could use it to save Penny and get everyone in Atlas and Mantle back to safety." Nothing has changed! They had this ability the whole time! Nothing about the last twelve episodes led them here, they just randomly thought of it after RT had padded the volume with needless drama. Considering that they're heading to Vacuo now, we could have just made this the finale of Volume 7 instead: big fight with Ironwood, revelation, get everyone  evacuated while Salem attacks, leave her behind, then Volume 8 begins in Vacuo with the group knowing Salem is out there looking for them. This entire volume has been pointless. What did they accomplish?

Oscar got kidnapped and beat up, Nora was scarred, Ruby and Yang realized horrible things about Summer, and the whole world is panicking about a witch. Good things are... Ren and Ruby unlocked some semblance stuff? Weiss loves her brother again after he proved himself useful to her? Great work, team.

So this one moment makes everything they've done up to this point useless and, of course, once thought up the plan goes off without a hitch. Note that the summary of this episode says, "It's risky, dangerous, and nearly impossible — but it's the only plan they've got." Nearly impossible? That's a whole lot of talk for a plan that was implemented perfectly.

There is, admittedly, one snag, but one that is likewise made meaningless just seconds later. We'll get to that.

We see Winter call Weiss who also smiles at hearing from her sister. Obviously interactions like the group's with Emerald are the bigger concern, but it's still an issue that no one reacts as they should to people reappearing in their lives. Rather, RWBY continually confuses audience knowledge with character knowledge. We know Winter is on their side now, but Weiss hasn't a clue. Last she saw, she and Winter were agreeing to head down different paths. She has no reason to think her sister isn't loyal to Ironwood, so why isn't the group treating this call with suspicion? What if it's Ironwood trying to mess with them through a presumably safe party? I swear to god, with any consistency in the story this group would be dead ten times over because their decisions are so stupid. Oscar decides to believe in the guy currently beating him to a pulp, the group decides to trust a villain over a flawed ally, and now they see Ironwood’s second calling and are like, “Great, big sister Winter is checking in!” There’s a difference between a hopeful story filled with second chances and characters whose reliance on the narrative bending to assist them makes them come across as insanely naive. 

None of which even touches on characters forgetting that other characters are presumably dead. Ironwood shot Oscar off the edge of Atlas, but doesn't react to learning he was kidnapped, or when he shows up to the fight. Thanks to Marrow's comment, Winter thinks YJOR have perished in the whale, but also has no reaction to them appearing to help with this plan. Absolutely nothing is followed up on.

We then get a flashback within the flashback (fun) of Winter — shock — not arresting Marrow. It's precisely as I assumed, with Marrow angrily asking why she hit him and Winter responding with, “Because you were about to get killed if I didn’t do something!” As I said last recap, I feel like I should let the marginalized groups lead this discussion, but I do want to add that no matter how well intentioned — or strategic, as I mentioned last time — the imagery itself is still harmful. No matter the context, we were still left with white woman Winter putting her knee on black man Marrow's back to arrest him, and it’s an image that everyone in the U.S. should be familiar with the horror of. Far more of a problem than the (presumed) ignorance of this scene is, I think, the choice to make Winter entirely unrepentant. I think some of this discomfort could have been alleviated if RT had written Winter as apologetic, contrite that it came to that and asking Marrow to understand that she only did it as a means of assisting him. Asking his forgiveness. Instead, we get this

So what, the only emotion we have room for is gratitude that Winter beat him up? Yikes.

As a lighter side note, I find the animation here unintentionally hilarious. Winter's assistive device makes her shoulders look too high, making this gesture more, "Woman exaggeratedly pouts about not getting ice cream for dinner" and less, "Woman sternly closes off during a disagreement about saving lives and betraying their general." Gotta find our humor where we can, right?

What's intentional, but far less funny, is the needless animation to show us that, yes, Marrow is peering at Winter calling Weiss. Oh, the shenanigans. 

The elevator opens where Qrow and Robyn spot them. "Speaking of help," Winter says, as if she has any reason to believe Qrow didn't kill Clover. He and Robyn lower their weapons a bit, as if they have any reason to believe Winter and Marrow aren't still loyal to Ironwood. Would it really be so hard to have Winter immediately throw up her hands in the face of their almost-attack, blurting that she's not their enemy and needs their help, please listen? Again, RWBY can't remember which characters know what, let alone what their motivations and reactions should be.

We then enter the third part of the flashback where everyone piles into the Schnee dining room and discusses doing the things they could have done from the start. I'm metaphorically banging my head against that table. In RWBY's favor though, we also get a long shot of Jaune continuing to boost Penny’s aura.

Though it's only one of many issues, just the other day I asked, "Hey, why has Jaune always needed to hold onto the person he's assisting, but now suddenly he can touch Penny once and the boost remains?" It still doesn't explain why he was letting go before/why him needing to boost her continuously didn't put a hard time limit on their plan — not that Mantle's hour limit meant a thing — but at least they're showing more of that here.

Oscar notes that Atlas has enough gravity dust that it won't fall immediately when they use the Relic, but they will have to move fast to ensure no one is underneath. Yeah, like all the civilians you put there. He also cautions that the Staff isn't a "magic wand" that they can just wave to make all their problems go away... even though that's precisely what they're going to do. Ozpin gets some lines that aren't apologies or followed by attacks — hallelujah! — about how the Staff's spirit is a "character" and requires that you be able to precisely explain anything you want him to make. Blueprints, examples, a firm knowledge of how this will be accomplished — all of it is required to actually get what you're after. That's a cool limitation. It's just too bad we didn't know about it episodes ago, forcing our heroes to find ways to meet those requirements. Instead, they already have everything ready to go the moment they learn about it: Penny has her own schematics and Whitley apparently has knowledge of the entire kingdom after sending some ships out. Normally I'd go, "Really?" but I'm still just struck by how much good he's done compared to everyone else in this room. Your show is seriously broken when the side character the writers didn't even want the audience to like until a few episodes ago is more active, mature, and sensible than the heroes.

From there we see the group implementing the plan. They fly up through the hole Oscar left, straight to the vault. Penny opens it without any trouble and Ruby uses her speed to grab the Relic and stop time, halting her self-termination. I do like that combination of skill and their knowledge of how this magic works. That felt like a smart move. What's interesting though is that the Relic appears to stop time in the entire kingdom. We see people in Mantle and Atlas slowing to a halt too. I assume no one remembers that happening after time restarts, otherwise people would be freaked out by suddenly being frozen in place.

Wouldn't that have been cool though? The group often takes a while to use the Relics, either deciding what they need, or watching Jinn's information, so what if you had a population that blinks and suddenly, from their perspective, half an hour has passed? How long might Ozpin have sat on his knees after Jinn told him he wasn't able to defeat Salem? How long was that space frozen? We could have had a world built around rumors and fairy tales. Not the random stories Ozpin brings up to make a point and that we never hear about again, but tiny details that foreshadow these revelations. A Beacon where the kids tell each other spooky stories of people suddenly losing time, once a whole day. The wives, sisters, daughters, and nieces who disappear, or wake up one day with horrifying, unnatural powers. We see magic influence the world around it, but we've seen very little of the world reacting to that influence. The one time I can think of is Blake reading a book about "a man with two souls," the fiction clearly inspired by knowledge of Ozpin. And indeed, it felt great to recognize that as a significant detail and then be proven right years later as the lore was revealed. We could have gotten so much more of that if RWBY was better planned out.

I'm getting off track though. As time stops we see a series of images: Ironwood being led to a cell with Jacques, Penny succumbing to her hack, Team JNPR The Second preparing to contact the kingdom about what's going on. Then everyone is distracted by the giant, blue, buff Ambrosius who comes out of the Staff.

...there's a lot of innuendo in that last statement lol. At least RWBY is committed to the crazy design they chose? I was never particularly comfortable with the image of characters gaping up at a giant, naked woman in chains, so it's nice to balance that a bit with an equally giant, naked dude in chains.

From here things get confusing. In all honesty, I'm not sure if this is another moment where RWBY is trying to pass off a retcon as the group being brilliant, or if I, as an individual, simply didn't follow the logic. I won't bother to rehash the slow, meandering way that Ruby reveals their plan — that certainly didn't help with the clarity. Not in an episode where we didn’t even know these rules ahead of time — but it boils down to this:

The moment they have Ambrosius create something new Atlas will start to fall. Two of his creations can't exist at the same time.

He needs clear instructions about what he's making in order to create it.

The group has brought him Penny's schematics so that he understands how she's built.

They want, specifically, "a new version of her... using her exact robot parts."  

They can't just create an exact duplicate of Penny because that would carry the virus with it.

They can't create an exact duplicate without the virus because that Penny would cease to exist as soon as they used Ambrosius to make an evacuation plan instead.

So they essentially want Ambrosius to create a new Penny by removing all the robot parts from the Penny that currently exists, carrying the virus with them, and leaving only the human parts of Penny behind: her aura/soul. Then, the purely robot version is destroyed when Ambrosius creates something new.

Except... this new Penny, this human Penny, still needed a human body. That's what Ambrosius created and that's the snag I don't understand. They want a version of Penny that's just her aura, just her soul, but that soul still needs something to be housed in. Ambrosius himself notes that. At first I thought the group would just have some wisp-like version of Penny they'd have to find a new body for — perhaps leading to a new one for Ozpin too — but she's just... given a human body when he takes the technology away, something she absolutely didn't have before. That is Ambrosius' creation. That is what should have disappeared along with the removed parts of Penny, leaving only her soul — what Ambrosius didn't touch — behind. Instead, the plot oh so conveniently has Penny get a new body for free and it's untouched as they move onto the next task.

Ruby drops a casual line about Ambrosius not being able to kill, or destroy, or something, which I think is meant to be the justification here. The rule (which, again, we JUST learned) about not killing anyone supersedes the rule of two creations not allowed to exist, allowing Penny to stick around. But even if that’s true, it’s a load of bull. What, does the magic think no one in an entire city might die if the floating mechanism is removed and it plummets to the ground? Ambrosius didn’t say, “Sorry, can’t stop floating Atlas because thousands of people are still here and they’ll die if I create something new,” but we’re supposed to believe the group skated by on, “Sorry, can’t destroy the last creation like everything else because there’s a single person still using that body and she’ll die if I create something new”? 

Seriously, did I miss something? Or is this another, "Amity is ready because the group needs it" situation? The rule of creations ceasing to exist is bent because the group needs to have their friend around. Ambrosius is certainly enthusiastically complimentary, saying how "smart" the group is and that they've "done their homework," but I'm not so sure. It feels like a moment where the show is (once again) insistent that the group is far more talented and brilliant than their actions actually imply. It's only the rules of the world twisting and turning that allows for their success. To say nothing of how the episode dropped all these rules on the viewer in a ten minute info dump, ensuring we didn’t have any time to think about them before the deed was done. 

It doesn't add up for me and honestly, even putting that aside? I hate this. I absolutely despise it. Look, if it turns out this really does make sense then props to the group for coming up with that plan. Our snag aside, the rest is a legitimately well thought out wish. I don't have a problem with the execution so much as the message. I've been saying since Volume 7 that RWBY has done Penny a disservice in terms of her "real girl" narrative. Whereas before we had a firm message that you don't need "squishy guts" to be human, to be real, Volume 8 continued to carry us further and further into the idea that it is necessary. That Penny's body is entirely inhuman, something to hate, but at least her soul is human and good. That's what the virus arc taught us: your terrible, technological body might be betraying you, but hold onto the parts of you that are really human. I hated that too, but I never thought RWBY would go this far. They made Penny fully human and went, “THIS is the version that always should have existed.”

And this isn't just me reading into the implications. It's right there in the text. Blake says that they're looking for “Penny, the girl who’s always been there underneath." Meaning, underneath the metal. The girl exists trapped in the robot body. Yang holds up her arm and says that the metal is only "extra," it's not really who you are. 

That gets into two perspectives on disability that RWBY just doesn't have the nuance for: what's an integral and celebratory part of one person's existence can be seen as something separate and discomforting to another. Though there are many people with disabilities who would happily cure themselves with a magic Staff if given the chance, there are just as many who say no, this is a part of my identity. I don't want to change, I just want the world to accommodate my existence. However, RWBY takes a hard stance here, saying that any metal in your body is intrinsically bad. We didn’t use to have this take, but now the show has embraced it. Blake says the real Penny is trapped in there. Yang's words implies that she'd get rid of this "extra" bit of her if possible. Mercury with his metal legs is the enemy. Ironwood with half his metal body is the enemy. Whereas once difference was truly accepted, now it's shunned and fixed whenever possible. Those who can't be fixed, like Yang, must simply deal with the lot they've been dealt, reassuring themselves that the metal isn't really them. But Penny? Penny they can fix.

So they do and the very first thing Penny does is hug Ruby, exclaiming, “Do hugs always make you feel this warm inside? Wow. More!” and proceeds to hug all the others. 

What's the underlying message there? Penny didn't understand hugs before this moment. She never experienced the "warmth" of them while an android, despite the fact that here warmth is entirely metaphorical and has nothing to do with a literally cold body. RWBY really went and said that the "real girl” android was never actually real at all — not as real as she could be — because it's only when she's given "squishy guts" that she understands the true happiness of a hug.

Wow.

I mean seriously, wow. 

Never-mind that, you know, we've seen that happiness and warmth since she was first introduced.

RWBY is really rewriting all the core themes introduced in Volumes 1-3 and it sucks. The show is absolutely the worse for it.

To say nothing of all the other disservices to Penny's character here. There's all this buildup about whether she'll still be the same Penny once the wish is complete, but of course she is. We wouldn't want to have Penny struggle when she becomes something other than what she's always been, would we? After all, it took Yang an entire volume to work through the shock of a metal arm, but taking away a metal body for a human one is in no way traumatic. Having a normal, human body is intrinsically a good thing! Of course Penny accepts it with nothing but smiles. Becoming human is celebratory, but becoming more machine is a horror.

She gets to watch her body self-destruct, glitching out and collapsing in front of her. But again, nothing to unpack there that can't be covered with a hand over her mouth.

There's no discussion of whether Penny still has the Maiden powers, or whether a wish like that would mess with the transfer in any way. How did the group know this action wouldn't register as a clear-cut death, forcing the power out of her and into someone new? Obviously they couldn’t know, but no one even thought to bring it up? 

And the entire time they're formulating their evacuation plan, there's no talk of whether these portals will appear before everyone currently alive in the kingdom. I mean, if they do then Ironwood and Jacques can just waltz through and escape into Vacuo. If they don’t, then Maria and Pietro don't necessarily have a way out. We still don't know if they're stuck floating in Amity, or if Amity crashed, or if they made their way back to Mantle or Atlas. More importantly, the characters don't know. I have no problem with RWBY keeping that a surprise until the finale, but I absolutely take issue with Pietro's daughter walking through a portal, seemingly not to care whether her father is going to make it out too.

It's been the same with Qrow and his nieces' relationships. The show is good at insisting that these families love each other because they hug and smile while on screen together, but when shit is actually going down, none of them care about pesky things like disappearances, arrests, or “The last time I saw you, you were with an old woman on a damaged station after a villain attack, potentially stranded in deadly cold if life support failed.” 

So yeah, this entire arc with Penny has been a disaster. From throwing away her framing subplot, to giving her a virus that did absolutely nothing, to giving her the Maiden powers which she's also done nothing with, to erasing her android status for a “She's really human now” message, Penny has been done dirty by the show these last two volumes. Not nearly to the extent Ironwood has, but still. At this point I wish they'd just kept her dead dead. Why do I want her back when that resurrection produces no reaction, her conflicts lead nowhere, and one of the core things that made Penny Penny has now been magically erased?

I've been saying for weeks that killing Penny off and keeping Penny around each had serious downsides attached, yet I never expected RWBY to do BOTH.

Also, I'm warding off any, "But Pinocchio was made into a real boy too" defenses. RWBY is not Pinocchio. Penny is not Pinocchio. I thought the allusion was going to be the Pinocchio inspired girl heading into the whale, not the show forcing the exact plotline  —  down to a blue, magical creature — onto a character whose entire journey has been about accepting herself as an android. Congratulations, RT. You just obliterated years of work.

Again, if you'd like an example of how to do this far better:

As Penny's character falls apart, Atlas shakes, alerting Jaune and the other that a new wish has been granted. Jaune pecks at the screen and realizes "That did, uh, something…?” but doesn’t realize that there's a giant, red "LIVE" up in the corner.

Jaune tries to warn the entire kingdom about their plan, but what he actually says is

“Atlas is falling, but — !”

And then the communications cut out. 

Watts, perhaps?

Our heroes are really good at saying things that make large populaces panic, huh? This is the one (1) snag in their "impossible" plan, but as said above, it doesn't amount to anything. We get a shot of Nora, horrified at the thought of kingdom-wide communications being down, but literally seconds later Team RWBY has made portals appear that everyone can walk through. So... why do we care about communications? More importantly, why does the show try to make us care? So much time is spent getting the viewer invested in problems that never come to mean anything. 

Including the problem of Salem herself.

Because the group successfully creates that evacuation plan. This is it. Everyone is leaving while Salem still reforms. 

Yang asks if they can use the vaults themselves as a single point for everyone to go to and Ambrosius agrees. So everyone is going to pile into the Vacuo vault that can only be opened by an unknown Maiden? They're going to put an entire kingdom's worth of people, including their enemies, into the vault where the Relic of Destruction is? Yeah, that's great. Prior to this — like if this had been the plan at the end of Volume 7 — I would have 100% agreed that these risks are better than death by Salem/grimm/cold. Now though, Oscar as axed Salem for an unknown length of time, the cold is having no impact on the civilians outside, and the grimm only attack background military personnel that supposedly no one cares about. They couldn't have spent another few minutes (especially with time stopped!) to figure out a means of getting to Vacuo that doesn't involve revealing and providing access to the location of a super secret vault? To say nothing of what they're going to do if Salem wakes up and snags one of those portals for herself. Two kingdoms for the price of one!

But that's what they're going with. Weiss gives Ambrosius a schematic of the kingdom, I guess, and he makes branching pathways appear with numerous portals for everyone to step through. They'll enter through one and, when they exit another, will be in Vacuo. Easy peasy, right? Especially since Ambrosius doesn't seem to have any limitations about how often his power is used. Is it three creations every 100 years like Jinn? We're not told, at least not to my recollection. However, I was expecting there to be a waiting period, that they'd fix Penny, go to evacuate the kingdom, and learn that sorry, I can't make another creation just yet. It feels like the sort of shit move these beings would pull — "Don't cry to me when it's not what you wanted" —  it would have been another commentary on the group's insistence on putting friends over the people's safety (like demanding the Ace Ops not bomb the whale because of Oscar), and crucially, would have kept the action in Atlas. Isn't that what this volume is? The battle for and potential destruction of the Kingdom of Atlas? We have two episodes left and, unless something unexpected happens, we're moving that action to Vacuo. Why? 

Meanwhile, Penny's corpse is just chilling in the background 😬

While all this is going on, Winter reassures Jacques that he and Ironwood will be evacuated too, though she makes it clear saving him was Weiss' idea. It checks out, considering Weiss is the one who turned her father's arrest into a joke last volume. Winter still takes his abuse seriously.

The group prepares to leave with a celebratory, "We did it!" from Weiss. I'm still banging my head against that dining room table. Before they can pass through the portal though, Ambrosius leaves them with one, dire warning: "Do not fall." 

In any other story a line like that is a neon sign announcing to the audience that someone will absolutely fall, and maybe they will, but RWBY has dodged consequences so often I wouldn't be surprised if this was merely another way to string us along. Remember all the hype surrounding Salem? The cold combined with her army and magic? How she was going to decimate Atlas and leave our group broken in a Fall 2.0?

I mean, we still have two episodes left. Forty minutes of content. Salem might still decimate them, especially since something has to happen in the finale. But god, it's a problem that we've come this far without a payoff. Salem randomly decided not to attack anyone, was stopped by a weapon added in solely for this purpose, and now the whole kingdom is being evacuated with a plan the group could have used at the start. This volume really is meaningless. 

“We go to vacuo and hope we’ve thought of everything” they say as the camera zooms in on Cinder's smiling face. For the second week in a row.

Bingo time!

Winter betrayed Ironwood, the group used the Staff of Creation, and I'm axing Maria on behalf of Pietro. You can't have the guy's daughter become human — after he was killing himself to give her his aura?? — and magically walk to Vacuo, not knowing if he's even survived since she last saw him, and expect me to think he hasn't been forgotten. Same with Maria. Has the group mentioned her since Amity cut out, notably for reasons they couldn’t explain? Of course not. Did they care to find out what happened? Of course not. I have no doubt they'll both re-appear in the next two episodes, Pietro crying over how perfect his girl is now and Maria congratulating the group on their actions, but we're still marking it.

This is the ugliest thing I’ve ever created, I hope you all are enjoying it :D

Another week, another couple feet added to the hole we’re digging. I know I keep saying I have no idea what's going to happen next... but I have no idea what's going to happen next. A Vacuo ending was not in the cards, not outside of them miraculously showing up in ships. Maybe they have been on their way to Atlas (somehow...) and will arrive precisely when everyone has left! Anything is possible at this point.

See you next Saturday, everyone. Hold on until then lol. 💜

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without Context

Ravenloft Edition, Barovia Arc part 3

"Time to carve up the lamb." Nyx says as she goes to charge the Lamb, only to slip on something grimy on the ground. "Alright, who has been tossing out leftovers so close to the inn?" The goblin who was watching the combat raises his hand "Probably Big Jimbo." “What the crispy fried livestock fuck is this?” "Jonni, never try hold person on a slasher. Haven't you ever read any of the horror novels about them, something about them makes them no longer human." Jonni: “That’s bullshit!” GM: Jonni takes 7 slashing. Jonni: “Also there’s a fucking knife in me!” "I am sad to inform you, our meat shield is lacking in meat." "What? What's......Azathoth damnit! Was I sleep-time-traveling again?" Gorbash: "Oh thank god, it's not one of those fucking walking brains." Jonni scratches her ass. “Well, I got laid and sent something back to hell. Good night.” GM: The only thing you'd get from the mask is a bad infection if you get a splinter from it. Edmund: *disinfect* "I don't think the casket did anything: my internal chorus would have snarked something." "Oh, okay. No need to threaten to dump it into the void of eternal body-less voices making dad puns." "There are no greater goods, just Good with high opinions of itself." "You went right after that specific sword. Who sent you?" "I CAN'T SAY SHE'LL KILL ME." Jonni: “And I will if you don’t. So, immediate certain death or potential death. Your choice.” Gorbash: "Ah right, the ones violating Strahd's No Eating Vistani order. Of course the vampire's want to steal my anti-vampire sword." Nyx: "Don't tell me, the leader who we spared after Jonni transformed him into a giant snail wants revenge." Gorbash: "Didn't we throw him in the river?" Gorbash: "Fantastic, smart vampires want to steal my stuff." “Marsh, let’s get through one Domain without adopting.” Gorbash: "And break tradition?" "Tell that group we are on a mission for Strahd, delaying us threatens the safety of all in this domain. Cursed coffin, stay in one place too long and you don't want to see what it does, a fate even vampires should fear. So tell her to leave us be to our task." "I think I'll be too busy screaming to do that but if it comes up before my horrible horrible death I'll let her know." GM: Halfling is long gone by the way. He did his job he got paid -- twice -- he's hitting Ye Old Titty Bar. “Poom, check his pocket. If it’s a symbol of madness you’ll be unaffected.” "I am sorry to say, I don't know of any way to help you short of suggesting a garlic rosary and finding religion." "Alright, I guess you got a gofer." "Great, stay away from the coffin and don't try and steal from us again and you'll probably make it out of this alive." "This isn't my first rodeo of getting drafted by adventurers." "Freelancer or goonion?" "I warned you, coffin. Last warning, one more stunt like this and I will send you to the Void of External Body-less Voices that Make Dad Jokes!" GM OOC: Jules right now: "I don't feel safe." OOC1: Well he can take his chances with us or the vampires. GM OOC: True. OOC1: I think we're the better option for continued survival. I mean we didn't just gut him for trying to steal from us. OOC2: Yeah, but only because he snitched. Gorbash has been extra paranoid about... well everything, but now also about people planning to steal his Bro-blade. “Vistani got a secret handshake or is this like the tribes back home?” "Oh, am I leaking?" "Yes, your relatives are speaking through you." "Darn: cleric warned me it might progress this far." "I wish to repay your generosity to our people by giving you some advice." “Good advice or ‘We don’t talk about Bruno’ Advice?” “Blade's a dude. He leaves when he’s ready.” Jonni: "…. Shit I shoulda asked if great gamma really did fuck a fire elemental…” Madam Eva, Vistani seer: "She did." OOC: Eva's advice to you would just be "Buy a hundred lotto tickets and hope for the best." "Poom, are you going to ask a question of her or should I ask my question now?" "Go on. I've got voices in my head for that." "I sense that her quest to find a way to escape will bring her into conflict with an evil far greater than any you can imagine. And you will need to save her." Jonni nods solemnly. “So it’s true. Jack Chick still lives.” Nyx: "Who is Jack Chick and why did I shudder upon hearing his name?" "Darn it! I thought we escaped that sound effects nut." "Oh that's little Sisko." Eva points to a young Kenku boy who is standing among you. "He's great when we need to be dramatic. The customers love it." Jules: "Hey baby, wanna see my poison sacs?" Nyx facepalms. "Great, now I have to watch out for two horndogs." OOC: And now Marshal must one day ascend the Murderhorn and [say] the spell to rouse the Yettirasque. OOC: Remember our backup plan. AHM. Always Hug Marshal.

[poppyna]

the visitor ; anton&poppy

timing: earlier in may + last week participants: @poppyvernis & @grantcontrol​ summary: anton gets sent to the hospital. poppy gets a snack a meal plan. content warning: head trauma

In his less than stellar career as an exterminator, Anton was at least able to prove two things: One, he couldn’t dodge bullets, and two, he couldn’t dodge the ground. In retrospect, chasing an overgrown spider on someone else’s roof wasn’t the best idea, but at least it gave him enough time to consider his life choices, as flashes of previously, terribly made ones came running back to him, right before his very eyes, the fall itself peculiarly slow, as if it was intentionally taking an eternity to accommodate this Powerpoint presentation of numerous mistakes and regrets. Then the thud came, and everything else faded to black. 

The next thing he knew, he was coming in and out of consciousness, being wheeled through what smelled like a hospital, what sounded like an introvert’s worst nightmare. What he could see were mere blurs, almost incomprehensible and incoherent images fighting for his attention against the blinding lights of the ceiling. What he could hear were bits and pieces of rushed conversation, none of which he was interested in. 

A familiar voice did ring in his ears, barely making any sense to him, mostly because he was more concerned about the stuffed rabbit he just dropped as they were wheeling him away, his outstretched hand reaching for it but to no avail. “...oh, it’s the exterminator...what happened?” “...fell down a roof…chasing...dog...” “really?! ...well, that’s dumb.” Then the darkness returned, dragging him back into the depths of his own mind, where a haunting shadow patiently lurked. Hello, Anton. You have your mother’s eyes.

Gossip spread through the ER like wildfire, no matter how much the nurses liked to boast about having the perfect mask of professionalism with patients. The ones with strange reasons for ending up there were the hottest topics- at least for a few moments before someone else came with an even more inane reason. Poppy liked to pretend she wasn’t as interested as the rest of them, but even she wasn’t immune to the allure of knowing other people’s business. And the business, specifically, seemed to be an exterminator of some sort who was in over his head.

The reception area had a temporary lull in new faces, and it was her who was tasked with bringing the personal belongings over to the different private rooms. She expected bags of clothes, maybe a phone or two, but not a… child’s toy? The last thing she wanted to see was some sickly child. Those cases always left a bad taste in her mouth. Regardless, she donned a pair of gloves and set out to deliver the goods that had been left.

When she finally came to the room the note on the doll had mentioned, she realized two things very quickly. One, that the doll did not, in fact, belong to some sickly child, and two, that she definitely should not have stepped into that room. Poppy could almost feel the uneasy dream the man laying in the bed was slipping into from her position all the way by the door. She gulped. She definitely should have just asked someone else to do this job. She threw a quick glance behind her shoulder before she slid the door to the room closed with her hip. As she extended her hand to brush over the man’s forehead to enhance the unpleasant dream he had, she noted that this must be that exterminator the staff were all murmuring of. 

“Sorry,” she whispered to herself.

Anton has done his fair share of running. From debt collectors? Check. From adult responsibilities like being a good dad to a young daughter he’s barely met? Check. From bees? Check. The last part, he felt like he’d be doing for an eternity. Or at least until he got tired, which in this place, wherever it was, didn’t feel like it was happening any time soon. Where the hell am I? He wondered, at least for a bit, looking around him as grayish smoke and mist surrounded him, drowning this place as far as he could see. That was, until his attention was once again stolen by the giant bees that were apparently chasing him.

Anton. The voice spoke to him, not as sound in the air but seemingly from deep within, as if the speaker was someone, or something, that resided in his heart of hearts. You cannot run forever. Panting, wheezing, though not actually feeling tired, if only afraid, fearful for what could happen should his feet, knees, fail him, the exterminator continued to run, looking back every now and then to find the giant bees still after him, never speeding up nor slowing down. 

Then he spotted something strange, something new, a face, unfamiliar and out of place, from within the swarming rabble. Sorry, she whispered to him, not as sound in the air but from deep within, only confusing him even more. Who the— He cut himself off as he turned away, colliding straight into something else, something strong enough to knock him back, down on his ass on the ground. Wincing, Anton took his sweet time making sure he was still in one piece before he looked up and saw the man in the beekeeper’s suit, his arms already reaching towards him. I’m already home!

On his bed in the hospital, his physical body twitched and turned, his lips moving, though rare were the words that came out ever coherent. Although the fear was great, his guilt would never come second, and under three words, Anton’s lips moved ever so slightly to allow them a strange passage. “It’s okay…”

Poppy’s brow furrowed for a moment as the visions he saw danced through her mind. What the hell kind of fears did this man have?  She wasn’t creating anything for him to experience- no, this was a nightmare birthed from his own personal hell. If the rush of energy she felt from how terrified some guy and his insects made him feel- she probably would have cared more about that. She rolled her neck and shoulders slowly, head tilting from one side to the other. It felt like a massage to her very core that no physical touch could satisfy. There was nothing better than this feeling, and for a brief second she considered taking it all in that very moment. She wouldn’t need to feed again for quite some time. 

The words that left his mouth snapped her back to reality. She opened her eyes and stared down at him. For a moment, she panicked. Was he awake? What the hell? That had never happened before. Poppy considered her own thoughts that she felt while feeding and bit her lip. The high, warm feeling in her stomach began to fall, leaving her blood buzzing through her veins as though she had just run a race while her heart sat thick in her throat. That’s the monster she pretended she wasn’t. She didn’t even know the poor guy who she just tormented and there she was considering adding a second notch onto her ledger. Fuck.

She retracted her hand slowly, knowing she shouldn’t let it idle on his head for too long. Poppy felt compelled to flee, but there were too many nurses out in the hallways for a fast walk to go unnoticed. The sun had yet to fully set, she couldn’t go intangible and leave, and even if she could the cameras would pick up a door opening and closing on its own, and- and-

Her hold on the stuffed toy in her other hand tightened and she resolved herself to take it face on. Poppy looked behind her, just to check and make sure no other nurse had crept inside while the whole ordeal was unfolding, then took a few steps back. She glided her hand down her face and combed her fingers through her hair, at least trying to make herself look as thought she was a normal human nurse just concerned for a regular patient. 

The Beekeeper was a story Anton’s late grandfather told him and the rest of his cousins whenever they had become too naughty, too rowdy, for the other grown-ups to contain, to rein in. It was a tale of warning, of fear, the title character the appropriate Boogeyman for their family’s line of work. Yet as the years went by, as Anton found himself drifting farther and farther away from his own family, the Beekeeper became more of an afterthought to him, a forgotten string of words from a bygone era, nothing more than the whispers of a past he can never go back to. That was, until he returned to White Crest.

It wasn’t like he was forced to return, however, as his former life in California wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. He had made mistakes, so many, and though he wouldn’t admit to regretting much, there were major milestones in his life that he dared wish had happened differently. Thus, the move was a welcomed respite from the dark clouds that hung over his head through the years, only to be replaced by darker ones once he arrived in this sleepy town. At the very least, he had inherited the pest control business as well as a better place of residence when that grandfather of his died.

“Am I dead?” The words slithered weakly out of Anton’s lips as his dark brown eyes wandered slowly towards the other person’s very form. Holy fuck, she’s gorgeous. It was a weird first thought, considering the nightmare he had just survived, the fall he had taken. One would assume he’d be more interested in figuring out what had happened, how he got there, yadda yadda yadda. Then again, the exterminator has survived far worse and has taken more dangerous beatings. It seemed that the gates of hell were closed to his soul yet again. “Are you an angel? I’ll go wherever you’d take me.”

It took him more effort than he was used to, but he was able to muster a warm smile, the so-called stone meant to hit two birds: the nurse, as a sign of gratitude for keeping his unconscious body company, and himself, as a distraction from the horrors that he had just escaped from. Groaning, he moved his body around, at least as much as he could, still tired and barely recovered from the fall. When he found a comfortable enough spot, a position that made the rest of him ease a little, he turned to her again, his eyes not wanting to leave her face, his smile unable to falter. There was something about her that drew him like a moth to a flame, a vision of beauty and salvation. Shame that Anton had no idea how that allusion was more dangerous than he could ever understand. 

She blinked. The more conscious he became and the more words that left his mouth, the less Poppy was able to compute what was happening right before her. Her mouth moved to form the first syllables of ‘are you crazy?’, but she stopped herself before she broke whatever illusion had overtaken the man in front of him. This was definitely… different. She was used to crying, used to screaming, even used to people waking up in anger over having vivid terrors ruin their night of sleep. Not once had she gotten a complement. If she could even call a hospitalized man spouting words a compliment.

When more than a handful of seconds of silence passed between them, she blinked and cleared her throat. “Ah... no. Not at all,” she started, rocking back on her heels, “you’re not dead. So… I am not an angel.” A soft chuckle escaped her while her head gestured to the side, trying to point out the walls and machinery of the dimly lit room in an attempt to maybe bring him out of this stupor. (Yet again, she had to hold herself back from saying anything out of turn. There was a reason she wasn’t the one who did courtesy rounds with patients). This had to be a concussion of some sort, a fairly nasty one. That thought stung a bit. Having to wonder if she had just fed from someone with a concussion worthy of putting a professional athlete out of commission was a new low. But upon closer observation, he appeared… “fine” seeing as he just fell off a roof. Well, fine in Poppy’s books. Which had considerably low standards for what humans needed to be “fine”. 

Regardless, Poppy forced herself to put on a mask of kind professionalism, looking back at him with a gentle smile though she made it a point to stare at his ear instead of into his eyes. “Don’t try to move too much- okay? You’re in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?” She lifted the stuffed animal she held and waved it a bit once it was in his line of vision. “Does this help? It seems to belong to you.”

 The smile never faltered on Anton’s lips as he continued to look her over, perhaps even seeing her for the first time. “I beg to differ.” The words slipped out without his consent, though hearing them now, he wouldn’t have even bothered to rein them back if given the chance. He didn’t believe in angels, not as much as he believed in annoying insect monsters that could kill him, that most likely killed his grandfather, but seeing her heavenly face, all that cuteness and innocence, he could definitely see himself becoming a believer.

Slowly, his dark brown eyes wandered around them at her behest, though they didn’t stray long. She had a magnetic presence over him, one he could not seem to ignore. Or at least look away from for far too long, which wasn’t really that long. A part of him feared that she was just a mirage, an illusion, and if he didn’t keep his eyes on her, she would disappear, something he hoped the man in the beekeeper suit was instead. “Oh, hey, Mister Snuffleupagus Von Der Beek!”

His instincts told him to reach out for the stuffed animal, which his body followed and regretted immediately. He didn’t even get to move an inch, his shoulder quickly punishing him for overextending them. “Fuck.” Wincing, he tried to move it around, feeling the pain, before realizing he just swore in front of a goddess. Eyes wide in horror, they found her again, and despite the brief moment of silence, he tried to cover for himself with a warm smile. “Sorry… My shoulder… Pain… You know how it is.”

Anton nodded towards the stuffed animal as he explained further. “That’s the, uhh, favorite toy of my client’s three-year-old. Some overgrown spider tried to grab it and run, but I managed to chase it away and keep the toy but, well, you know… Fall from grace.” He let out an awkward chuckle, not sure if the truth made him look any worse. Couldn’t be any worse than the exterminator who fell off a roof. “I’m Anton, by the way. Anton Grant.” He offered her a hand to shake and winced when even that small attempt made his body hurt. Fucking hell.

While he spoke, Poppy let herself trail over to the hub of machinery at the top of his bed. Her eyebrow quirked at his remark, but other than that, she forced herself not to give any other reaction. Despite the night terrors he just experienced, she could barely feel the residual traces of fear that still clung onto him. All of it had seemingly vanished when he became conscious once more. She hoped that meant that his suspicion for what had caused it was low, too. Though, based on the way he was acting, she was fairly certain there was little for her to worry about in that regard. 

She let herself relax somewhat at that thought, though jumped slightly when the man began to move, caught off guard by his sudden urge to get up. “Ah,” she started, reaching forward with her free hand before pausing, letting it hover a few inches away from him. “Your injuries aren’t horrible, but you still need to lay down. If you try to move too much you might make it worse. And that’ll make your bill worse, too.” A stern look crossed her face for a moment. One that read ‘I mean it, don’t fucking try it’.

Poppy shook her head gently and set the doll down next to his thigh, her hands coming to a rest atop the side railings of the bed. A giant spider? She thought back to his nightmare. Well, if what she had gathered from that was correct and he had experienced some kind of bizarre beekeeper who was out for blood, then the spider story should track. A quiet huff escaped her lips as the corners quirked up. “I don’t… know if I should assume that’s real or fake,” she replied, her voice low with amusement, “but if it is, then… that’s. A nice thing to do. Getting a kid’s doll back.” 

“I’m not your nurse, but… I’m Poppy,” she paused when he attempted to move once more. She used the back of her hand to gently push his down until it laid on the bed once more. “I’m serious about the no moving thing, Mr. Grant.”

Anton has had horrible and worse, numerous times, throughout not just his respective careers as an exterminator and pest hunter but also his everyday life, most of which he will always regret. Her mention of a worsened bill, however, scared him the most, and with a gulp, he resolved to heed the warning, knowing full well his finances were much scarier to deal with than a trio of beeserkers. That look on her face is pretty cute, though. 

His eyes widened in a mixture of horror and excitement as she approached his thigh, though it was immediately replaced with a relieved expression and then disappointment when the doll landed instead of what his crass mind had imagined. Although he was somewhat glad that Mr. Snuffleupagus Von Der Beek was safe and within reach, his thighs craved the touch of something else, someone else. Even in the aftermath of brutality, Anton was still but a boy, hungry for fantastical companionship.

“Oh, it’s real!” He said, almost too excitedly, dark brown eyes beaming with misguided pride. “I really fell down. You see the small rip on Mr. Snuffleupagus Von Der Beek’s right ear?” He winced as he momentarily forgot about all the pain, mostly due to his desire to impress her, and pointing at the spot, straining his arm yet again. His smile only grew wider when she complimented him, as he’s never heard an actual compliment since he came to White Crest, certainly not after he’s been paid at least.

“Poppy?” He mouthed her name over and over again after the word already slipped through his lips, her touch surprising him but in a very good way. He could feel his heart beat race again, her warmth and her scent magnified by his childlike crush. “It’s a pretty name. Perfect for a pretty girl.” He offered her his most charming of smiles, his heart beat rising when she mentioned his name. “Please. Call me Anton.” He tried to distract himself from the loud vibration inside his chest by furthering the conversation. “Is there a way I can choose you to be my nurse? Like a form I can sign or something? I’ll probably need to stay longer now. I’m so hurt, Poppy.”

A quiet hum reverberated from her lips. This definitely was not the first time a patient had acted head over heels for a nurse. And Poppy was sure it wouldn’t be the last, but at least this guy- Anton wasn’t some creepy old man. Just a concussed guy. Who thought she was pretty, it would seem. Her eyebrow raised once more and she stared at him. She’d never encountered someone who acted quite like this before. Even among the strangest of individuals who ended up in the back of the ER.

An idea popped into her head then. Oh. Hey now.  She could make use of an infatuation like this, couldn’t she? The softer voice in Poppy’s consciousness tried to remind her that this was definitely a breach of the Hippocratic oath, but she wasn’t a doctor. She wasn’t even human. Yes, she was pretty certain that oath didn’t account for creatures like her. Who was she to deny free food when presented to her?

“I assume you’ll be kept overnight for observation unless the doctor sees you now,” she said, more to herself than as a response to him. She then let a soft, long sigh leave her lips. “If I transfer to your nurse, would you quit trying to move?” Poppy glanced over to him with that same look, though it was less serious and more teasing than before. She may not have all the schooling that the RGNs had, but she had the same nursing certificate nonetheless. It probably wouldn’t even take much convincing to get whoever was actually assigned to him to let her take over. They’d probably let her take all the patients if it meant getting to sit quietly at the front desk like she did.

“Poppy, I would quit everything for you.” Anton quipped, though part of him was certain that it was true, that he’d actually risk his entire life, change everything including himself for her, for a muse that he could serve. The other part? He’s been there before, a long time ago, and it didn’t end well. He did get a cute kid out of the deal, but she was taken from him, too. Probably best for everyone involved back then. He was, after all, at a terrible place in his life. 

These days, he has most things under control. He had a stable source of income, he wasn’t too bored that he’d do less than legal things for the sheer fun of it all, then a rebellion against his family and everything else, and most importantly, he had a pretty big house all to himself. If he played his cards right, he may find a very attractive, very nurturing nurse roommate. He and the boggarts at Grant Residence.

“Where do I sign? Do I even need to sign anything?” Anton wasn’t quite well-versed with all these medical proceedings. For a long while, he’s been able to skirt out of its way, mostly with help from old acquaintances, accomplices, and his earlier almost rendezvous with death in White Crest introduced him to who both seemed like old acquaintances of his grandfather, Doctor Adams and Detective Lee, the oddest couple he’s ever met. Oh, maybe he’s here! “Oh, by the way, do you know a Doctor Adams here? Weird British guy, has glasses… I actually forgot his first name.” He chuckled, even as pain still lingered within parts of him, dark brown eyes extremely happy at the sight of Poppy.

  “Uh-huh,” Poppy drawled out slowly, her head bobbing once in some semblance of a nod. She briefly wondered if this… infatuation of his was more of a passing side-effect of his concussion rather than anything else. Even so, Anton had definitely made himself out to be an unforgettable person. 

Strange or not, a meal was a meal. “Well,” she looked out toward the door to the room for a moment, then back to him. “I’ll have to go poke my head around and see who’s assigned to your room.”  Her face pinched in concentration. “You won’t have to sign anything, don’t worry, Mr. Grant.”  At his question, her expression softened back to one of neutrality. Doctor Adams, huh? 

“Is… unless he frequents the ER here, I probably don’t. Lots of doctors in the world, you know.” She rolled her eyes half-heartedly, his words sparking a memory of self-righteous doctors that  would sometimes be called down to the ER and throw fits at the state of things. “Alright, I’ll go… run and sort this out. Do you need anything before I go?” She paused. “That, ahem, isn’t me.”

With the devotion of a high schooler suffering a huge crush on his classmate, Anton listened to her intently, a wide grin on his face. Concussion or not, at this moment in time, Poppy was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. The second best was probably waking up from that nightmarish hellscape he found himself in while unconscious, but it was probably just a one-off thing. He’s had the same nightmares before, and although they were never that intense, he did fall off a roof this time, so his brain, as much as it could while working in terrible condition, justified that as a good enough reason. 

“It’s fine. I’ll sign anything you want me to sign.” The words slithered out of his mouth without any thought, none at all. If Anton had been dragged to a network marketing scheme instead of finding his way to the hospital, he’d probably have lost all of his money as soon as he woke up. Thank god for his client, such a kind-natured soul who was probably more worried about cleaning his corpse off her lawn than his actual health. Eh, good enough for me. 

“Yeah, of course!” He laughed at what he perceived to be her quip, already forgetting his question about Doctor Adams. “What isn’t you?” Again, his subconscious tried to help him out, but Anton was presently not 100% whole. A part of him tried to make sense of what was going on, what had happened, but that part wasn’t as strong as the other part of him that catered to his sad, pathetic craving for her companionship. “I’m fine, Poppy. Not as fine as you, but I’m fine.” He grinned, even though his body was obviously not fine, not yet anyway, pain still lingering in his bones and joints. 

As soon as she leaves, however, he mutters to himself, an unnecessary assurance to his own misguided feelings, his still blurry perception of the things happening around him, all while he watched her go. “Oh, yeah. She’s definitely into me.” She was, of course, not that into him, but he needed to believe that lie. At least for now, he felt hope, not as just another lie to trick himself into carrying on but as a warm dream he can aspire to. At least for a couple of days, maybe even weeks. Anton’s romantic relationships never end well, after all.

In the days that follow.

It wasn’t every day that Poppy put a bit of effort into her appearance on a day she went to work. In fact, it was never. Except for maybe the very first week she had landed the job. The long hours and constant moving around and sweating meant that makeup was not the best of ideas. Especially at seven in the morning. But she had been planning for the specific day a certain patient was to be released.  She’d spent much of the time that Anton had been spending in hospital care thinking about what to do. Never before had anyone she’d ever fed on been so… completely unaffected by what she did to them. Not only that, but it was as if the man had been slapped by some cupid’s curse.

Whatever the case might have been, Poppy decided that it would be best to make use of it. These types of things happened for a reason, didn’t they? She told herself such while she put that bit of effort into her appearance. Her hair was pulled back nice, her eyes lined with a gentle wing of brown eyeliner, and her cheeks had a faint dusting of orange blush. Just enough to make her look like she was definitely not a nightmare demon in some human skin.

She walked down the long corridor of the hospital wing and came to a stop outside the door to Anton’s room. Poppy inhaled quietly, then knocked on the wood with the back of her hand. “Mr. Grant?” She asked, opening the door a inch to make sure he was awake, then more so once she saw him. “Good morning. I think I have something you might be interested in.” She raised her hand and waved a stack of papers for a moment. His discharge papers. Fresh and ready to be signed by the doctor.

For the entire duration of his stay, which was like just a couple of days anyway, Anton found the entire thing quite nice. Sure, he’s been having a couple of nightmares here and there, waking up more tired than he expected, but it was probably just the side effect of that fall. Besides, he finally had an excuse to take a day off, and though it probably sets BUG BUSTERS PEST CONTROL SOLUTIONS back for like a few dollars, it wasn’t that heavy of a price to pay. 

Anton could technically take a day off every now and then, but he never did, always consumed by the nagging feeling of guilt and the dread of  disappointing his already dead grandfather. So far, however, the Girl’s text messages, meant to update him on the daily goings-on at the office, were mostly boring “oks” and “someone called but i referred them elsewhere”. If he had known things would be this chill, he would’ve taken a day off a long time ago.

Aside from loafing around in his hospital bed, Anton filled much of his time and attention with the love of his life, his nurse Poppy. Thanks to his concussion, which was a weird thing to be thankful for, the exterminator believed he had finally found his muse. His past relationships all ended terribly for one reason or another, but he had high hopes Poppy would be a different case. If he only knew. 

“Poppy? Please, call me Anton.” He reminded her again, for the nth time, though he didn’t really keep count and consciously didn’t actually mind. The words just felt like the right reply for her calling her future boyfriend Mister. “Good morning!” He greeted her with as much excitement as he could muster, eager to spend another day with her, only to get deflated when his dark brown eyes found out what the papers were. 

“I’m being discharged?!” He turned to her with sadness and despair, as if he was betrayed, rejected, by the girl of his nightmares dreams. How could Poppy do this to me?! “Uhh… There must be some mistake? I still feel, uhm, bad?” Scrambling towards her, he threw off his sheets, grabbing her hands in desperation. “No, Poppy, I’m still in pain... Please. I need you… To take care of me.” He whined. Like a child.

Bingo.

Poppy rolled her eyes playfully and snorted quietly. By that point, she had grown used to Anton’s antics. For the most part, at least. “You say as much, but your doctor says something completely different. Apart from the, uh, bouts of night terrors?” She paused there, sparing a moment to look up at him with some faux-concern. Mostly faux-concern. Seeing the side effects of her noshing still twisted her stomach from time to time, but there was nothing she could really do about that in the end, was there? She still needed to eat. A gentle nudge and she wiggled her hands out of his grip.

“Aside from that, you’re back to being in perfect health.” With that, she set the folder she held down on the rolling table beside his bed. Poppy looked at him with eyes that were both teasing and pitying. “This is a normal part of being in a hospital, you know. You do have to leave at some point.” She tapped a painted nail on the top of the folder twice. 

“It isn’t like I’m going to magically disappear after you leave. I still exist, you know. Is there something I can do to ease the pain of this discharge?”

“Oh, yeah… The night terrors…” Anton simply shrugged. He didn’t really want to talk about them, afraid to unearth a childhood trauma that he may not be yet ready to come face-to-face with. As much as the Beekeeper was but a story his late grandfather used to tell his grandchildren whenever they’d misbehaved too much, the exterminator has seen and experienced otherwise, a part of him certain that there was more to the tale than he was told. With a smile, however, he eased her concern, not wanting to burden the love of his life with his inglorious fears. “Just a side effect of the fall, I think? Nothing to worry about!”

Yet he could not stave off the disappointment and sadness he felt at the idea that this was it, this was the part where they’d, well, part ways, him and Poppy, forever no more. Anton felt his heart wrench, a stinking feeling in the deepest pits of his stomach that almost sent him in a panic. This was the best he’s felt in weeks, months, and now it seems over. Back to lonely nights in his late grandfather’s massive house then. Maybe he should really put that guest room up for rent. “Do I have to?” 

There was nothing normal about him, that much he understood. Certainly, the adjective perfect was rarely used to reference Anton. Poppy was right, however: All things must come to an end, even the good ones, especially the good ones. Life is nothing else but suffering, sometimes tolerable, most of the time annoying as fuck. Still, she offered him hope, and like trout to a lure, he could not ignore it. Forlorn, his dark brown eyes wandered back to her, and he mustered a weak smile. 

“Promise? I mean, I guess it’ll be a little less painful if you, like, I don’t know, keep in touch? By, uhm, giving me your number? There’s, like, a really good restaurant at the docks. Dinner sounds like the least I can do to thank you for keeping me healthy.” 

Poppy smiled. 

She put a finger to her lips, as if to tell him not to tell anyone else. Without saying anything, she pulled a pad of sticky notes and a pen from the pockets of her scrubs. If Anton was anyone else, she would have worried that they might wonder why she precariously had such things in her pocket, but she had learned that by that point, he didn’t seem to care about much other than looking right at her. For a moment she wondered what his reaction would be if he ever figured out what she was. This little façade couldn’t go on forever- at least. For her, time had proven that everything nice would have to end at some point. Would he still be as awestruck if he knew? Or would he finally come back to his senses?

A thought popped in her head. Had she ever cared so much about what a human really thought of her? Really? 

When she glanced up and saw the genuine gleam of desperation in Anton’s eyes, Poppy decided not to worry about it. Whatever he wanted out of her, she could play along. No one else was being hurt- clearly he wasn’t as affected as other humans would have been. As she carefully wrote down the digits to her number, adding a small smiley face at the end, just for the appeal, she spoke: “As long as it doesn’t entail you chasing after some sort of gigantic bug and getting another concussion.” She peeled the note off the pad and flattened it down on the cover of the folder, the ink on the face smearing just-so. 

Poppy took a few steps back and smiled. “Another nurse will stop-by in a bit with some more for you to sign. And then you’ll be a free man once more.”

Anton nodded fervently, dark brown eyes wide in delight as they found themselves glued on the tiny piece of paper that contained Poppy’s number, that he held as tightly as he could, as if he was afraid it would vanish very soon. Committing her contact information to his memory, the exterminator couldn’t hide his triumphant joy, chuckling at her quip. It would be dishonest to not admit that he had thought about doing the same thing again, suffering the fall and the nightmares as an excuse for him to be near her once more, in the same room as the angelic face who woke him up from his nightmare. Her phone number was a safer compromise, though. 

“Thank you. Again. You have no idea how much this means to me, Poppy.” He didn’t either. Not really. Especially all things considered. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

That was the last he saw of her. At least at the time. When he was told to leave, the exterminator unfortunately couldn’t get a hold of the nurse that had a warm grip on his heart. Anton wanted to wait and see her, bid her goodbye at the very least, but she was apparently busy elsewhere and some security guard was being rude, watching him like a hawk does a mouse. With her parting gift, however, he knew it wouldn’t be long until they crossed paths again. Or at least until he’d hear her voice again. Maybe, if she was too busy to have dinner with him tonight, he would at least see her in his dreams. The thought made him smile as he finally made his way out of the hospital, breathing in the fresh air made even better by the memory of his muse.

In fields of poppy,         buzzes this little bee.

[chaotically-cas]

The Wall by Pink Floyd x Ponyboy Curtis Essay (part 1 of 2)

Umm first off I would like to say I know how dumb all of this sounds & I know this is far from intelligent or anything close to a thought I can articulate, so before I get hate for this, I know it’s dumb. So hush.

Anyways. 

Tw // talk of death, suicidal ideations/thoughts, trauma, (events from the book)

Like 2.1k words

Also I didn’t fully proof read this

- - -

One of my favorite albums of all time is The Wall by Pink Floyd. It is a two part album that tells the fictional story of a rock star named Pink, and his life and struggles. As it is my favorite album I couldn’t help myself but draw some very strong connections between the story of Pink, and Ponyboy. Pink and Pony both spent their lives building a metaphorical wall around them to help deal with the traumas of life. And I wanted to write this oddly formatted essay in connection with Pony and an analysis of most of the songs.

In The Flesh?: starts off right in the middle, the song is about someone mocking asking questions similar to ‘is this what you expected me to become’? I think this is about the time in Pony’s life when he is writing for his English class. In the song it says, “Tell me, is something eluding you, sunshine? Is this not what you expected to see?”. I think this is similar to Pony thinking about Johnny and symbolizing of how he is thinking to himself on how did this all happen to him and so quickly. Maybe even without his full knowledge. So I think the question the lyrics pose are just as much a genuine question to himself as a rhetorical one. Another lyric I think can show Pony’s reflection not only on the events of the past week but also him reflecting into himself is “If you wanna find out what's behind these cold eyes. You'll just have to claw your way through this disguise.” This shows how Pony feels himself aging and being changed but also wanting others to see himself for more than what’s in the newspaper. Pony talks a lot about only being seen as a greaser or a hood and maybe if people were to ‘claw through’ that disguise they could see what Cherry and Johnny saw.

The Thin Ice: this song is a flashback to the version of Pony before the events of that Sunday. Where he was not exactly innocent but wasn’t aged like he was after. The beginning of the song talks about a mother and fathers love for their child which is slowly being seen as less of a reality. This is the death of Pony’s parents. “Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice. Appears under your feet. You slip out of your depth and out of your mind.”, this can explain how Pony felt ripped to shreds and like the ice of his innocence has been broken from underneath him. The ice both represents his parents love and life, as well as his life before knowing death the way he does now.

Another Brick In The Wall (part1): I think this one is the most obvious. The first brick being placed in the wall. The wall being a metaphor of how Pony begins to mentally distance himself from others by building a metaphorical wall around himself, and him using different events in his life as ‘bricks’ to build it. The first ‘brick’ and event being the death of his parents, especially in a very traumatic way. “Daddy's flown across the ocean. Leaving just a memory” is quite literally about the death of a parent, making the connection to Pony’s situation go without being said. Additionally, I think the line “Daddy, what else did you leave for me?” can show Pony’s confusion with his life and him beginning to question who he is and what his place in it all is.

Another Brick In The Wall (part 2): something notable and worth mentioning in this part two of ABITW is how it says “youre” another brick in the wall. Instead of “its”. So we already know it is referring to a person, which in Pony’s case is Bob. It’s a bit of a jump from his parents dying but the death of Bob is what truly kick started the whole events of Pony’s story and the book. I think it is also worth mentioning that Johnny could also be the new brick in Pony’s wall. Seeing a kid like Johnny, only a few years older than him but being aged dramatically by his trauma, relating with Pony too now. So it is totally possible that Pony finding himself relating to the trauma and actions of Johnny, being another brick in the wall he is building around himself. Especially in the line “We don't need no education”, as it shows how Pony is starting to feel himself unwittingly starting to fit into the whole ‘greaser’ stereotype that has been placed on him.

Mother: Now this song is definitely in symbolism to his relationship with Darry. I think it is shown through many lines but especially in the overall meaning of the song. The song is about an overprotective mother figure that tries to dominate the life of the singer. Which is very similar to the way Darry begins to treat Pony after the death of their parents. The song starts off with the singer asking their mother all these questions and advice, which I think would be very similar to the dynamic of Pony and Darry shortly after the funeral. With Pony being lost in life and asking Darry for help. But as the song goes on the singer sees how toxic and overpowering the relationship has come in dominating his life. But before that point of view can be fully expressed, the mother takes over and is telling the son about how to feel once again. I think this is exactly how the dynamic between the Curtis brothers has shifted around the day of Bob’s death. Especially with Darry finally pushing Pony, and that being the last straw of Pony realizing the control he no longer wants Darry to have. Most importantly with the lines about the mother pushing her fears onto her child, which seems to be exactly what Darry is doing to Pony. Because Darry sees the same potential in Pony that he had. There are too many lines for me to analyze but I think the most important one has to be the very last line, “Mother, did it need to be so high?”. This is where Pony would be asking Darry why he needed to be and act the way he did, especially to him, and truly beginning the deeper questioning of everything.

Goodbye Blue Sky: this song starts out by a reflection of childhood innocence by the line “Look mummy, there's an aeroplane up in the sky”. This to me is when Pony is running away with Johnny, before going to the park. When his head is too cloudy and juvenile perhaps to think rationally. But then the song fades into questions about ‘frightened ones’ and ‘falling bombs’ which is Pony telling Johnny about how Darry had hit him and in a way he felt like this whole life had been starting to fall apart. The song even states a specific line about running for shelter, which is exactly what Pony does to Johnny. Another obvious connection is the ‘goodbye’ aspect of it. Where Pony and Johnny are running away, in a literal goodbye from Tulsa and their problems. “Goodbye blue sky” can be seen as them saying goodbye to the blue skies of life before the skies turned grey, in a metaphorical sense.

Empty Spaces: this song is by far one of the shortest from the album but I still think the connections are intense. A very powerful start off with “What shall we use. To fill the empty spaces. Where we used to talk?” which I think can be connected to the silence between Johnny and Pony right after Johnny kills Bob. Because Johnny and Pony used to have the best and most honest conversations, but not in this moment there is nothing but empty and painful silence between them as they realize what has just happened. And then the next line is more of Pony’s internal dialogue in my opinion, “How shall I fill. The final places? How should I complete the wall?”. I see it as him asking himself if this was the final event he needed to completely run away and distance himself from this life. From the pressure of ‘greaser life’ to the challenges at home and in his own head. He is asking himself if he wants this to be the final ‘brick’ in the wall of his life.

Young Lust: Now this song is when it is really starting to be expressed that Pony has almost completely lost himself from who he was just hours ago. “I am just a new boy. Stranger in this town. Where are all the good times? Who's gonna show this stranger around?”, is very indicative of Pony feeling completely lost and besides himself. Like a stranger in his own head, and one who feels in bad need of assistance because of how lost he feels. Especially without the guidance and overwhelming protection of Darry. In a sort of broken way of beginning to feel free.

One Of My Turns: In this song is can be connected to the conversation Cherry and Pony were having earlier, which Cherry eluded to the idea of the separate groups of Socs and Greasers not being so fundamentally different. In the line, “Day after day, love turns grey. Like the skin of a dying man” it can be seen as talking about Bob’s death. While it is quite literally referencing the skin of a dying man, I think it could also be metaphoric of how Bob’s death was like the beginning of a bigger thing. In a sort of, death brings even more tragedy than one body, sort of ideal. Also, “And night after night, we pretend it's all right. But I have grown older. And you have grown colder. And nothing is very much fun anymore” I think this is about Pony and Johnny. Pony feels like he has aged tremendously in one night, and seeing Johnny grow into a completely different and more ‘cold’ version of his best friend. The song goes on to discuss the singers feelings of numbness, regret, and horror in a series of metaphors and questions. Maybe in reference to possible suicidal ideations, much like the thoughts Johnny expressed earlier in the day.

Don’t Leave Me Now: I think don’t leave me now isnt as important of a song to the story line the rest but still worth mentioning because I see it as a conversation between Pony and himself. He is asking himself to not run away and telling himself that it doesn't have to be the end of the road, when deep down he knows that just isn’t true. He is conflicted about running away and staying to face life, even though he knows the decision he already made.

Another Brick In The Wall (part 3): And Pony finally deciding to run away with Johnny, with help from Dally, is the last brick in his wall. “I don't need no arms around me. And I don't need no drugs to calm me.”, can show the true numbness of the situation and how Pony has already adjusted in a way to how different he knew his life was gonna be after this final event and decision. But in a way he is also unsure if exactly what was going to happen now. I think this is best shown through the use of ‘think’ in the line “Don't think I need anything at all”. It shows that while Pony is trying to figure out where to go from here, he still has a bit of that child like innocence in him where he isn’t completely sure of what needs to happen next, but he knows it won’t work out in his favor. Because he knows that back in Tulsa people are bound to figure out it was him and Johnny behind it all, which would make them “all just bricks in the wall”, to Ponyboy.

Goodbye Cruel World: there isn’t no extravagant connection to be made or discussed in detail about this song, as it is just even more of Pony saying goodbye to life as jr knew it and the innocent child like version of himself. “Goodbye all you people. There's nothing you can say. To make me change. My mind” is exactly what I think Pony would have going through his head as he fell asleep on the train, especially in thoughts about Soda and how he couldn’t even stay for him, because that meant changing the entire outcome of the night. And in his mind nothing could change the fact that he and Johnny needed to go.

[jj-lynn21]

Clowning around

Warnings: humor, creepiness, fear, smut, angst, possible multiple personality disorder, A Halloween fanfic for all my Pennylovers out there. The Clownfuckers that miss their Bob Gray. Girls missing their Daddywise. This might not be a straight up Pennywise story, but you know how Bill gets when he puts on that persona. You know what you are in for.

Tags: @a-mess-of-fandoms @hausofobsession @amandalynngraves @josielikesskarsgards @dragsraksllib @grandpa-sweaters​ @bskarsgardlove92​ @super-pink-a-palouza​ @draggolblackthorn​ @loomiz​ @theskarsgardcult​ @sunshineandskarsgards​ 

Thank you for the moodboard @flowers-in-your-hayr​

“Bill you were the scariest clown I ever saw in a movie. Thank you for speaking to me via skype today.” The reporter said wrapping up the sixth interview in row for your boyfriend. All of them still praising his work as the clown. Bill loved people didn’t hate it, but he would rather be praised for any of his current roles over Pennywise.

“Thank you.” He smiled hoping no one mistook the smile for a remnant of the clown.

It wasn’t that he did not love the character and appreciate all the love from the fans. Hell, he was ready to jump right back into the skin of Bob Gray if Steven King wrote a prequel and Andy Muschietti was on board to direct again. But he did not want to chase a seventy-year-old adult Losers Club at sixty-years-olds. At lease at this point in his career.  

You did not blame him either. You were so proud of all the projects Bill did over the last year or two that were starting to be released. He was such a workaholic because he loved the work, but he still made time for you. He would often fly you wherever he was working. He did not work most weekends but sometimes it made more sense staying in a hotel or apartment near filming instead of coming home.  

“Hey, sweetheart.” His voice was horse from talking for so many hours. “Thanks for the tea and Vaniljhjärta. I think I am finally done.” He pulled you onto his lap. 

You learned to make his favorite pastry, Vaniljhjärta, from a Swedish cookbook that you had to translate as you learned the recipe. It was time consuming but worth it the way Bill light up getting a little taste of home.  

“You’re welcome.” You kissed his cheek softly. “No need to talk for a while. I put honey in the tea to sooth your throat and Jokk Tranbär Apple & Kanel on top just the way you like it. “

He sipped the tea. Then nodded his approval. After taking a bite of the heart shaped pastry he licked his lips and devoured in in a few more bites. Then his cellphone rang ruining the delicious quiet moment between you. When you started to get up, he shook his head no. You were happy to stay in place.

“Hey, how’s life, man.” Landon Liboiron called Bill at least once a month. They talked about acting, future goals and what was going on in their lives in general. He was the only guy Bill felt like he could talk to freely outside his family. “I don’t usually ask you for shit, but I’m involved in this project for charity I would love you to help with. If you don’t want to that’s fine. All the proceeds will go to a local children’s hospital. I think a few of those kids will be there.”

“My schedule is packed during the week, Landon.” Bill was hesitant to get involved with yet another project when he was working on Clark, which he was also producing. “You know I would do just about anything to help you out.”

“Hi, Landon.” You interceded.  

“What’s up buttercup?” He laughed.

You giggled.

“It would be one Saturday October 1.” Landon added about the event.

“All right.” Bill thought about it. “I might be able to make one night. What do you need me to do, sign autographs or something?”

“Nothing that boring.” Landon assured. “I am one of the sponsors of a haunted carnival and I would like Pennywise to attend if that is something he would want? Terrorize some guests throughout the area and the Fun House. But no hurting anyone. Is that understood?”

A strange look came over Bill’s face. One you had seen before but not for an awfully long time. He stood. You slid off his lap right to the floor landing on your bum. That was not like your Bill at all. Then you heard it, IT’s voice.  

“I could play your game.” Pennywise cooed. “I love chase games. Carnival with children. And lots pop pop popcorn.” He giggled. “Don’t forget the red balloons.”

“Yes, I can get all of that for you.” Landon was nervous about what he just brought up in his friend. If he had opened some weird Pandora's Box. “I will email the specifics and see you Saturday.”

“Yes, yes. Saturday will be a fun day to play.” Pennywise snickered like a child.  

Landon hung-up first a little creeped out at the exchange. Pennywise looked over at you still on the floor looking at him in awe.  

“Shall we start playing now...” His voice went from high pitch to deep and gravely. “my little one.”

You swallowed hard as he stalked towards you. His mannerisms changing as he came closer. The Clown was out to play, and you did not know how or when you would get your sweet man back.

He knelt as you crab crawled away from him. He was laughing at your fear. Whether you were pretending for the sake of the game or feared this side of your man only you knew. But your heart was beating fast as his smiling Pennywise face got with within an inch of yours.

“Boo.” He cackled demonically. “You better run, little one.”

You got up quickly and darted one way then the other trying to find a place to hide. But you knew you could never truly hide from him. He was quick once he got up and began to hunt you.  

“I’ve missed you.” He came around the corner. “I’ve craved you.”  

You could see him but hoped he did not see you.  

“I’m going to find you.”  

You closed your eyes tightly and put your hand over your mouth. For some reason this seemed the best strategy. If you could not see him. If he could not hear you breathing maybe...”

“I’m going to eat you up.” Pennywise growled.

You could feel his breath on your face. You let go of your mouth. Then opened your eyes. He was drooling. His eyes floating in their sockets. You let out a blood curdling scream as he pulled you out of the hiding place and tossed you over his shoulder.

“Get ready to float.” Pennywise mused as he carried you into his layer.  

He tossed you onto the bed. Tearing at your cloths Pennywise shredded them quickly. He dipped his head between your thighs to eat you out with delight. He made little high-pitched noises as he did so. And you were wet, all turned on by the chase. “Daddywise, please.” you moaned as he teased your pussy.  

He was sucking at your clit until your writhed. Then darted his tongue over your slit to lick up all your juices. He worked you to the edge multiple times as you begged him to let you float in the glorious high of ecstasy you needed.

“You are such a fucking bastard, Daddywise.” Your core ached for release. “You know I need it.”  You whined.  

He looked up at you tilting his head from left to right. Your juices glistening on his lips. He laughed. “Time to float.”

Pennywise dove back down working you up again. This time he made you float so high you never wanted to come down from your blissful orgasm. You laid there panting after as he disappeared into the bathroom.  

Bill came back into the bed with just his boxer briefs on. He pulled you into his chest kissing your temple softly. “Nightmares are back, baby. Can we just fuck them away?”

Your thighs were still trembling but you nodded yes. He grabbed a condom from the nightstand, inched his underwear down and put it on before making love to you. He was slow and passionate hitting you exactly right. It did not take long for him to build your pleasure up once again and tip you over the edge with him coming soon after.

Bill was so gentle and loving but you knew you had not seen the last of Pennywise. He had to put the suit back on in two days. That would make the nightmare even crazier.  

Bill had a 6 a.m. call time the next morning. He was gone by the time you woke. You were sitting up to stretch when you saw it. A note right on your nightstand. You picked it up.

         It was fun playing with you last night, little one.

        You will find me at the carnival.

        Unless I find you first.  

You crumbled up the paper. Heart beating with excitement and fear. When you got out of bed you pulled the top dresser drawer open to search for the lighter Bill kept there. He tried not to smoke consistently but he kept it around. You burned the note.  

You put on one of Bill’s sweaters before making your way to the kitchen. The coffee was still warming in the pot. You made a cup and went into the living room with your cellphone in hand. You checked through your email before flipping through channels on the television. Every channel was playing some version or chapter of IT.You flipped off the TV.

It really creeped you out until you realized that it was the day before Halloween. Of course, several channels were playing one of the best horror movies of all time. You tried to laugh away the chilling sensation down your spine. But you still decided to read instead of turning the television back on.

Bill video called you around lunchtime just as you got out of the shower. A towel wrapped around your body when you answered.  

“I guess I caught you right out of the shower.” He grinned.

“I guess you did.” You giggled. “How is your Day going?”

“It’s fucked.” He griped. “It is like people think their weekend time off has already started. Everyone but me. The director is on a rampage pissing and moaning. We are going to try to shoot two more scenes before we lose the natural light of the sun. I might make it home before midnight. Sorry, I didn’t call you to complain. I just wanted to hear your sweet voice and see how beautiful you look.”

“I’m glad you called.” You tried to think of things to say without mentioning the note. That would not put him in a good head space for his current job. Plus, you rather keep Pennywise away until the carnival. “Thank you for keeping the coffee warming for me. I was snuggling in your burnt orange sweater most of the day just reading.”

“What are you reading, Älskade?” He licked his lips. He knew how much you loved when he called you the Swedish pet name for beloved.

You whimpered a little before answering. “Angry God, All Saints High Book 3.”

“How about you show me what happened in the book when I get home tonight?” He winked. “I know that is one of those steamy ones you enjoy reading and acting out.”

“I think I have a particular passage we could have fun with.” You smirked.

“Hey Bill, we are ready to start.”  

“I have to go.” He sighed. “Make sure you eat today. Love you>”

“Love..”

He had to disconnect to head back to work. You eat as he reminded you. Then went back to reading your book imagining Bill doing all the good things you were reading. You put the book down when it became too much. You took a few deep breaths. You can wait for Bill to get home.  

You clean the house. Then watch a non-clown related scary movie. You wake from dozing off during a third movie in the franchise you were watcching. It is already after midnight. You head to bed in one of Bill’s t-shirts and nothing else. You figure he had to work later than he expected.  

Bill is completely exhausted when he finally makes it home. He takes a quick shower before sliding into bed next to you his head lays on your chest. His arm flopped over your waist. You sighed deeply still mostly asleep turning to hold him.

“You all right, baby?” You mumbled.

“mm” was the only sound he made before you both fell asleep.

You both slept in Saturday Oct 31st. When you finally woke Bill was mostly quiet, other than some pleasantries. He gave you a few small kisses through the afternoon. He made a delicious brunch that would sustain you into the evening. Treats later at the carnival would be enough. The carnival neither of you mentioned.

You were cuddling on the couch when he realized the time. “I have to get it.”

“Get what.” You were not sure for a second what he meant. Then a small bit of panic rolls over your face.

“The costume is in the back of our closet.” He got up. “I can’t believe they gave me that thing. I guess in times like this I am glad. Remember how much I love you at the end of the night.”

“I know.” You try to smile. “I love you too.”

He gets the outfit and everything that makes Pennywise, Pennywise from the back of the closet. You shiver as you hear Pennywise laughter. He comes out from the bedroom with everything in a garment bag and makeup case.  

He is silent as you follow him out to the black SUV. He drives holding your hand. Both of you seem a little nervous.  

“Are you going to help with his Make-up?” Bill finally broke the silence.

“I could.” you bite your lip.

“You should.” Bill brings your hand up to kiss your pulse point.  

You turn on the radio. Both of you sing along to your favorite songs. It is bad singing, but it breaks the tension until you pull into the destination.  

It is late after when you get to the carnival. White, orange, and red lights brighten the scene as dusk slowly starts to descend. Landon is waiting as you walk up to the entrance.  

“Hey, man thanks for doing this.” He started to walk and talk. “I have a private tent set up over here for you to get ready. Do you need any help or snacks?”

“I am helping him.” You smiled uneasily.

“Great.” Landon nodded and smiled.

Bill’s bottom lip stuck out as he smiled wide or no not Bill. The performance was already starting. “Cotton candy.” He sounded giddy. And two red balloons. One for me and one for my sweet girl. Would you like a red balloon too silly boy?” He sounded a bit menacing as he asked the last question.  

“Um I should save them for the kids.” He started backing out of the tent slow. “You cool?” He looked to you.

You just nodded. When Landon left, it was just you and Bob Grey. Bob Grey stripped to get fully into his Pennywise character. You helped him put on the costume. Landon brought the balloons and cotton candy while you were doing the Pennywise make-up.

“Looks great.” Landon swallowed hard a little terrified of the clown. “The Fun House is on the other side of the carnival so just walk or stalk through and do your thing.”

Pennywise looked at him and giggled. “What do you think, little one?” He was speaking to you yet still staring at Landon. His voices deepening to a gravel tone “He’ll float too. At the end of the He’ll float too.”

Landon jetted, hoping this was still a good idea. He thought it might be the worst idea he ever had. But it was too late to call Pennywise off now. He was going to be let loose on the carnival within a few hours.  

You had perfected helping him into the outfit, wig and putting Pennywise’s clown face on him. It still took a good four hours to get him ready. His white gloved hands creeping over your body as he giggled and growled did not help. Eventually you were. Done.  

He handed you a balloon and the cotton candy. “Time to play hide and seek. Go on and try to hide from Pennywise. Go on and play.” He giggled. I will find you soon enough.”

You made a b-line for the exit. You knew exactly what he wanted from you. And there was no where you could really hide. You just hoped he did not scare the children to much.

Pennywise stalked into the night with a red balloon in hand. As the guests start to see him, they have a few different reactions. Some drop whatever snack is in their hand and back away slowing. That is when Pennywise walks towards them.  

“Is it play time friends?” He cackled at a group that looked like they were unsure how real this all was. They ran from his view. After they got far enough away, they laughed at the fear the moment built in their chests.

When he caught some girls ogle him. Their boyfriends trying to be tough as shit. He slunk closer right behind one of the boys blabbing about how Pennywise could never scare him. He would protect the girlsl.

“I won’t let some pussy actor in a costume frighten...”  

He stopped as Pennywise’s breath was felt on his neck. The others just stared behind the blowhard at the massive scary clown.  

“Um Trevor maybe you should run.” His girl Beth suggested.  

“Yes, Trevor.” Pennywise drooled on his shoulder. “Run!”

The group bolted to the other side of the carnival. Trevor quickly untucked his shirt to hide the pee spot on his chinos.  

Pennywise gets over to some children with their parents waiting to get on a merry-go-round. As the gate opens for the ride the children pull the hands of the adults to go quickly. All but one little boy with his Mother can get on this time around. The child’s eyes were huge round saucers as Pennywise smiled at him.

He knelt to the child. “You want a balloon little boy?”  

A roaming photographer was snapping pictures capturing the moment as Pennywise attempted to hand the boy a balloon. He shook his head no, burying his face in his Mother’s side.  

Pennywise whined pouting. “Please, be my friend. No one will be my friend. I’m just a silly clown trying to make you smile and you won’t even look at me.” He looked up at the boy’s Mother who seemed to be memorized by his stare. “Maybe, your Mommy will be my friend?”

The kid shakes his head an emphatic no and his Mother giggled. “There is nothing wrong with this talented man dressed as a creepy clown, Joshua. Now turn around to get your picture taken.” She took the balloon Pennywise offered.  

Pennywise was giddy with laughter. He put his arm around the shaking boy who smiled fearfully. He was not sure if he was more scared of the clown or what his Mother would do to him if he did not listen to her.  

Pennywise got up to fully standing over the child’s Mother. “Now it is time to float.” He started showing his razor-sharp teeth.  

Just then the gate opened for them to get on the ride. Joshua pulled his Mother away from what looked to him a dangerous situation. Part of her was a little frightened for a moment but mostly she about creamed her pants with excitement.  

Pennywise left the kiddie area to stalk his favorite prey. The woman that helped him break though to this world once again. He was careful in the night air. Quiet as he could be other than a jingle from time to time, he hoped you would hear and know he was coming for you.

You walked around the carnival enjoying your cotton candy. Always having an ear open for him. You watched from afar as he scared the piss out of the jock. Him and his friends ran right passed you. You snickered. You saw him scare the younger ones near the merry-go-round. Then saw the lust in one Mother’s eyes and smirked.

There were a lot of shadow places to hide as you made your way to the fun house. You did not think he could see you even though you could hear a jingle. You were constantly spinning to look around you when you heard a noise. Then it was only a few feet of open space to get to the Fun House.

Pennywise was lurking. He enjoyed the chase. He loved the way you looked so panicky. The way you looked over your shoulder straight at him. But you never saw him in the shadows. 

The carnival was winding down. People were streaming out. You thought if you timed things exactly right you could hide in the stream of people to get in the Fun House. Lights were being dimmed or shut off as you made your break from behind the tilt-a-whirl, though the crowd, and right into the beast’s mouth. You heard screaming as you looked around to find your way through.

Pennywise came bounding out of the darkness with a snarl. Everyone who were walking slowly towards the exit picked up the pace. They screamed as he walked after them. He was always just steps behind. Some were laughing by the time they got to their vehicles. Others were holding their chests from their hearts beating so fast. A few little kids were crying. All agreed it was the best haunted carnival where a werewolf or Pennywise could be around the next corner.  

You kicked through the giant beach balls easily. Then dodged some blowup clowns in a room full of them. You were trying to find your way out of a pitch-black room you had to feel your way around when Pennywise entered the Fun House.

He popped the beach balls as he made his way across the room. He punched every blow up clown. A few came back up to smack him back. You heard him scream, “You fucking fake clowns are no match for Pennywise.” He growled. “I’m going to find you, little one.”  

He was going into the darkroom as you made it out. You saw the light from him entering. He saw where you exited. The next room was a mirror maze.  

“Fuck.”

You started to try to navigate your way. Then you heard him. The laughter of your clown from all directions. It was only seconds after that you saw him everywhere just smiling wickedly at you. There was nowhere to go but hopeful making it to the exit before him.

You felt around the glass to the next section. Pennywise giggled as he disappeared from your sight. You turned to right and then to the left and found way through behind you. His cackle echoed and when you thought you were almost free you slammed into a mirror almost knocking yourself out.

When you opened your eyes, his face was right up against the glass in front of you. He looked quite silly with his cute little nose squished against the window like he was looking a glorious Christmas display on the other side, or a delicious meal being prepared just for him. As he licked his lips you realized it was the latter to him.  

Then he did the thing. That thing that made you gasp aloud as you watched IT Chapter two. He licked the glass like it was wet ass pussy and he knew that sight would make your legs weak. And this was no artificial dog tongue. This was the real thing. You knew what he could do to you with it too.  

You pressed your thighs together. A whimper escaped your lips. He laughed. “Daddywise is going to make you float, little one. If not, tonight I will find you.”

How could he be so damn hot, funny, and scary as Hell? You made it to the slide twisting down to the ground. You were not sure Pennywise could even fit. It would be a tight queeze if he could. As soon as you hobbled a few stepped you heard the howl. You whirled your head around and you screamed.

Landon laughed his ass off. “A little jumpy, are we?” He had fury werewolf hands on and some fur around his face. Teeth of a wolf completed his makeshift costume,

You smacked his chest. “Not funny. I have been hiding from Pennywise all night and he is fucking nuts.”

He chuckled again. “Well, it is time to wrap up these childish games. Everyone else left. We are going to clean up in the morning. It is time to go home.”

“You are going to float, little one.” Pennywise yelled from the top of the slide.

“Hide.” You told Landon as you darted around the ticket booth.

“I got this.” He smirked. “I think I had a similar dance like this with him before. If he can ever get out of that slide.”

Pennywise could be heard scooting and grumbling as he shimmied down the twisty slide made for children and average sized adults. He ended up falling out of the bottle head first.  

Landon growled. Pennywise sneered when he made it to his feet. “Oh, what big eyes you have puppy. But not as big as mine.”

The werewolf kept snarling as Pennywise came closer.

“And what a nose.” He giggled. “I could chomp it right off. And those teeth almost as sharp as mine.” He showed off his sharp mouth full of razors. “Where is the girl and I might let you go.”

“I will save the girl from the liked you.” The werewolf challenge throwing his body towards the clown. “Your game here is over.”

Pennywise pinned the werewolf to the ticket booth. You were right on the other side. Your eyes peeking through a window watching to make sure things were not going too far. It seemed to you they were starting to.  

“My tasty girl wants me, not a scruffy creature like...”  

The werewolf squirmed. “Enough already Bill. I get it. Pennywise vs. The werewolf, Pennywise wins.”

“Always,” Pennywise giggled. “I am Pennywise the Dancing Clown. The eater of worlds. I easily can eat you.” He opened his mouth starting to freak Landon out a bit.

“Fuck, man.”

“Pennywise.” You came out from your hiding place. “Put the werewolf down.”

Pennywise looked at you, tilting his head like he was confused. “Playtime?”

“No, playtime is over.” You were firm with him.

He dropped Landon. “Play more. We were having fun. Pennywise have more fun with little one.” He pouted like a child.

“No, it is time to sleep.” you tried to demand.

“No, no, no.” He stomped. “One more game, please?” Pennywise begged you.

Landon did not know what to make of how his large friend was acting.

“All right.” You caved to his demand. “One more game. How about you chase me back to the dressing tent. Then you are done.”

“Yes.”  

You started running. Pennywise walked his huge steps after you. Landon went to take his costume off in the tent right beside the one you and Bill were going to. Pennywise let you get to the opening of the tent before he swooped you up.

He sat in the make-chair. Your legs wrapped around him and the chair. You Both giggled as you opened the large pack of make-up remover towelettes and adhesive remover pads.  

He booped your nose. “Pennywise loves playing with you, little one.”

“I like playing with you too.” You kissed him. “But the time for games are over. We are both a little tired. Time to go to sleep, Pennywise.”

He pouts. But that changes as you take out his teeth. His face relaxes as you remove the make-up. The adhesive remover helps to take the wig off.  

“Bill, I will take this stuff to the car.” You climb off his lap and start packing it all up as he slides off the costume and hangs it neatly in the garment bag. “You should go talk to Landon before we leave.

Bill takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I hope this event made plenty of money for the children’s hospital.”

“I think it did.” you walk out with the stuff.

Bill and Landon meet up right outside the tent.  

“Was it everything you hoped it would be?” Bill asked.

“And more than I could have ever imagined.” Landon offered him a cigarette. “So, you on board for next year.”

Bill lit the cigarette when Landon held a lighter up. “Sure thing.”

“ shee-it .” They said in unison and laughed.  

[sleepless-stories]

A Call For Help |8

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Summary: Starlight is called to an Emergency and is met there by Phantom there, who just trying to protect himself and his friends.

Warnings: Blood/Gore, Death/Killing, Threats, Panic Attacks _____________

The entire front entrance of the building seemingly had been blown out. The building was a rental hall for parties, specifically those for the elite. Today they were holding a large meeting, that seemingly got interrupted. 

Logan stood in front of the building holding his book looking up at the looming hole where the entrance would’ve been. He didn’t know what was going on in there… but it was something bad. He ran a hand through his bright white hair before walking into the place. He pulled a shield from his book as a precaution before entering. “This is Starlight! I heard there was an emergency!”

There was silence, nobody answered the hero, instead Logan was met with eerie silence.

Starlight went up the steps in front of him. Climbing step by step. Something wasn’t right, something here was wrong. There were supposed to be at least 80 people here. But yet…. It was silent, there were no signs of life. Starlight held the shield closely, walking down the halls looking around for someone, anyone. He saw two large doors at the end of the hall, the grand hall most likely he went over to the doors pushing one open carefully. 

Inside people sat huddled in the middle of the room cowering, all of them silent and scared. 

Starlight walked further in and saw that the room was unusually dark, shrouded by… shadows. 

Phantom stepped out of the shadows beside him, “You shouldn’t have come.” he said softly before falling back into the shadows. He appeared behind the group of people and pulled shadows closer around him and the group.

“Phantom? What…. What are you doing? What’s happening?”

“Why are you here!” Phantom yelled.

“Because I’m a hero… and I heard people were being harmed.”

“They weren’t but now… now they have to be.” Phantom said with hesitation in his voice.

Starlight noticed the hesitation and reached out before suddenly the hostages were covered in shadows. “Phantom!”

A large black cat jumped out from the shadows, Phantom. He growled circling Starlight. 

“What is going on! This isn’t like you.”

Phantom shifted back and shook his head, “You don’t know me!” 

“Yes, I do…” Logan dropped his shield slowly approaching, “What is going on.”

Phantom looked around before closing his eyes, he… he had to proceed. As ordered. “Nothing.” he said and flicked his wrist. 

Screams erupted from the shadows, agony. 

Starlight’s eyes widened, “What are you-”

Phantom wrapped shadows around Starlight and shook his head. “I am sorry.” he mumbled, then flung Starlight to the side of the room. Plunging him into an ever growing abyss of darkness. Phantom stood there in the middle of the room looking towards where the hostages had been before shifting into his panther form once again and jumping into the dark shroud around the hostages.

Screams.

Screams filled the room. 

Then …. Nothing but silence. 

The shadows retracted, the light filling the room again as Phantom stood in the center of the hostages, 50… 50 dead of the 80. 

Starlight looked around, his eyes adjusting as the darkness fled. He looked over seeing a pool of blood seeping out from under the hostages and Phantom, standing there… blood dripping off of him. Tears filled his eyes… this wasn’t his Phantom… “Vir- Phantom… what have you done.” He asked softly, cautiously walking over. 

Phantom bent down lifting up one of the dead bodies before looking at Starlight dropping the body, “I saved… myself.”

Starlight stared in horror. “You really are a villain!” He screamed as he saw Phantom just disappear from the room, washed away with the darkness. 

Starlight rushed over to the hostages, “It’ll be alright, help is on it’s way.” he assured them, trying to stay strong. He helped up the living, getting them moved to the side of the room, the 30 left. He pulled chairs out of his book for them all then went over standing over the bodies. “Why…” he whispered, staring down at them. “Why’d you do this to them?”

Slowly he conjured body bags from the book and put each person carefully in one. 

Ems just started to arrive at the horrific scene. Beginning to help the living.  

____________

Virgil left the room, guilt and panic hitting him. Lo- Starlight was right… he really was a villain.

He pulled himself out in an alley, falling to the ground. His hands and face covered in blood, he was soaked in it practically. 

They were dead…

He killed…

He killed 50 people…

Just so he could ensure his friends survived and were unharmed…

What kind of monster did that?

Virgil ripped off his mask trying to catch his breath. He could barely process all that just happened. All that he had just done… What had he done? 

He felt like he was going through every stage of grief all at once. 

He killed people! Why did he go through with all of this to protect them?! But���

But he had only been following orders…

It wasn’t his fau-

Yes… it was! 

He was the one to do it in the end. Not the villain who he still had no name of. The villain who was threatening him. 

Virgil rested his hands on his face as his mind raced through thoughts, not slowing down. It just kept going and going. Relentlessly. 

He couldn’t breathe… he shouldn’t breathe. 

Why should he? He killed so many...

Virgil’s train of thought kept going, not giving him a break. He took a deep breath trying to just focus, to just snap out of it… but he couldn't. He wasn’t even sure for himself what had happened in that room, honestly. It all happened far too fast, from this morning when he got the orders to now. It all went too fast. Now… Now what was he doing? Cowering in an alley because of grief, and because of a panic attack?

Virgil slowly pushed himself up off of the ground, picking his mask up off the ground as he stood. He was about to leave when he heard something behind him… clapping. Slow, congratulatory clapping. “Good job, I must commend you, Phantom. I didn’t think you actually had it in you. But look at this! You succeeded! I assume you killed everyone on the list?”

“Y-yes…” Virgil nodded, biting his lip, keeping his back to the villain. “I did it… Can I be sure you won’t harm my friends now?”

“Oh… naive Phantom, you could never be sure I wouldn’t harm your friends. Who knows, they might have already been harmed. When did you last talk to your friend… Patton?”

Virgil snapped around looking at the villain in horror, “You… no… We-we had a deal! I do this and you don’t touch them!”

“Oh, well... Oopsy.” The villain smiled giggling a bit joyfully as he shrugged nonchalantly. 

Virgil pulled shadows around his hand as he rushed at the villain pinning them to the wall, holding his dagger of shadows to the guy’s neck. “You better not have hurt them.” He growled.

The villain just smirked, “Well… you’ll never know I guess. Unless you call them… or maybe… maybe you should call the hospital?” He suggested laughing maniacally.

Virgil growled and quickly moved his arm to stab into the villain, only for himself to be suddenly and forcefully pulled by the ground. He was shoved against the other wall of the alley, harshly. The concrete of the sidewalks coming up and holding him against the wall. “Oh Phantom, Phantom, Phantom… you didn’t think you could best me that easily?”

Virgil glared at him as the concrete slowly crept higher up his body, up to his neck. He took a deep breath, fear filling him as he felt it not stopping. 

“I’m offended! And you know what! I don’t think I need you anymore! I could just rise from the works just as everyone recovers, just as everyone starts feeling safe. I will pop out of the shadows, no wait.” The Villain laughed, grinning, “No that’s your thing, I will come out of the concrete. Then bring this city right back to where it was when you first appeared, chaos.” The guy cackled. “I will rise from the ashes as, Kraken… nobody will come against me! Oh and your precious Starlight, he won’t last very long.” Kraken reached forward grabbing Phantom’s chin and leaning in close to his ear, “Goodbye Phantom.” he whispered. 

“I… don’t think so.” A calm voice said down the alley. The clicking of heals sounded as they slowly walked down the alley. “Hello Kraken… Miss me?” A guy asked, tilting his hat then looking up, half his face covered in snake scales with a shining yellow serpentine eye. He wore a black suit with a small cape, yellow accents and details throughout, boots with heels on their feet. 

Kraken instantly took a step back staring. “So the legend lives?”

“And you won’t live long enough for your grand debut.”

“Oh you want to bet?” Kraken growled before releasing Phantom and throwing him forward at the newcomer before he disappeared, melting into the pavement. 

The newcomer caught Phantom and cursed as he saw Kraken disappear. “And just like that… that… that octopus! Got away, again.” he growled under his breath gritting his teeth before looking at Phantom and giving him a good once over, “Hello.”

“H-Hi…” Virgil nodded, ripping himself from the other’s arms and staring, “Who are you?”

“That doesn’t matter for right now.”

“The last person who told me that just tried to kill me.” Virgil growled glaring. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like you to tell me who you are, now!”

“Phantom, calm yourself… you could… you could call me Serpent for now.”

“Fine… serpent. Thank you…” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“Are you alright?” The other asked, his voice softening as he reached out towards Phantom noticing he was a bit off balance. 

Virgil looked up at him, “Yes… I’ll be fine, nothing I haven’t had to deal with. But I have to go…” Virgil said, shaking his head taking a few steps back. “Someone I know… they might be dying and in trouble. I need to make sure they’re alright.”

“Of course Phantom, we’ll see each other again soon. I know we will.”

Virgil stared at him in silence for a minute. “Yeah sure we will, Serpent. Next time will you tell me more about yourself?”

“Of course, just not here… not now, this isn’t the place..” He shook his head. “Perhaps somewhere more quiet.”

Virgil nodded, sighing, “Alright.” he nodded. 

Serpent reached forward grabbing Phantom’s arm, “tomorrow, meet me at 5th and 3rd, 7pm sharp. Dress smart.” he told him with a smirk. Serpent nodded as if confirming his own words for himself before letting go of Phantom’s arm. 

Virgil nodded, “Alright… I’ll remember.” He said stepping back then falling back letting the shadows overtake him. 

Peace and serenity hit him. The wonderful silence. Bringing him away from the honking cars, the chaos of the city. Taking him from danger… but going to potential sorrow. He quickly traveled across the town. Going to Patton’s. He let himself out of the shadows in front of the door. He slipped on his mask before grabbing the door knob. It was unlocked. 

Phantom pushed the door open slowly and walked inside. He looked around not seeing anyone. Phantom sighed, hoping everything was alright. He went into the living room area and paused hearing something, he slowly turned and smiled. 

Patton was laying on the couch, fast asleep. A collection of snacks on the coffee table. 

Phantom sighed in relief, he went to the door, shutting and locking it. He stayed for a while watching his friend sleep… safely. After a few hours he left, going to his own home. To figure everything out. 

Virgil came out the shadows at home and pulled off his blood cover suit walking to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, getting in without waiting. He felt like he was covered in all of their blood and that none of it was coming off. Virgil took a deep breath. 

He quickly finished up and dried off before getting dressed. He went and sat on his couch, not moving from there till morning, letting the tv distract his thoughts. 

_________________________

General Tag List

@crazy-multifandomfangirl

@aceawkwardunicorn

@mistythegenderqueermess

_______________________

A Call For Help

@star-crossed-shipper

@simplyapannightmare

Apparently I never actually tagged anyone before sooo yeah

[dyaz-stories]

Out of The Woods — One: Acceptance

It’s here!! You guys might remember this post of mine, and that is what this story is based on! I had planned to have everything done by Inukag week and... yeah that didn’t happen, but this is chapter one, the next ones will be based on prompts, though I definitely won’t have them all out this week. Let me know if you want to be tagged for this specifically (tagging everyone just for the first one) and I hope you’ll enjoy this first one!

Thank you so so much to @sweetchcolate for being my beta for this chapter, you helped improving the final result so much and you’re amazing ❤️

Tagging: @shinidamachu @sailorbabydoll92 @sweetchcolate @clearwillow @zelink-inukag @cstorm86 @digital-art-monster @danycontreras90 @redflamesofpassion @lost-amidst-the-stars @eternalnight8806-3 @desiree239 @keichanz @ashleys-canvas @mustardyellowsunshine​ @meggz0rz @contacting-u @ramen---boi @superpixie42 @kazeinori @disgruntledbeast

The full moon shone high in the night sky, its soft light falling on empty streets and tightly shut windows. The villagers laid restless in their beds, waiting for the morning to come, pretending nothing would be happening tonight, pretending that they didn’t know about the white form dashing through the trees in the forest, pretending they hadn’t left him an offering that was far more than they had ever expected to pay. Pretending that the moonlight was enough to repel the darkness.

In the forest, things looked very different. Even the midday sun hardly pierced the thick foliage, and the moonlight barely reached the ground. Unlike the village, the forest was full of life and movement, even at night. Small demons, animals, owls and bats… It was like they knew the humans wouldn’t venture in here tonight, and they intended to make the most of it.

Sometimes, however, the noise was interrupted for just a moment. Silence fell brutally on the trees, as a flash of white appeared, only to vanish just as quickly, letting the animals resume to their lives as though nothing had happened. The silhouette stopped in front of a clearing, sniffing the air, as it checked its surrounding. Once it was satisfied, golden eyes focused on a bag laying on the ground. Good. Relief overtook it for just a second, before resolve flashed in its expression, and it jumped in.

The action was only a matter of seconds. The form jumped in, easily threw the bag over its shoulder, paused, only long enough for an exterior observer to discern red clothing underneath long white hair, before he ran away, just as fast. A blink, and you could have missed it.

It didn’t stop until it had reached a small river. There, it took north, going up stream, the sound of bare feet on rocks barely audible over the brook’s whisper. Finally, the shape slowed down as the banks of the river started to rise to form a small ravine. After one last glance over its shoulder to make sure it wasn’t being followed, the white shape disappeared behind the rocks.

As it walked to a small wooden hut by the lake that had formed there, the moonlight revealed a definitely humanoid shape, an impression that was only disrupted by the two triangular ears on top of its skull. He unceremoniously dropped the bag onto the grass, only to freeze when a yelp came from the bag.

Slowly, he knelt down next to it. The moonlight caught onto claws, and they briefly shone in the dark as he prepared to open it.

Kagome didn’t regain consciousness until she was moving. She remembered the men, showing up in her house, dragging her out as she asked, begged, for an explanation. She remembered Mo, the leader of the village, telling her that he was sorry, that this was for the best, for everyone. She remembered the pain exploding in her temple. She remembered hitting the ground. And nothing after that.

She woke up, disoriented, unable to see, terror coursing through her veins, aware that someone was moving with her at full speed. Her stomach immediately protested against the up and down movement, and made it all the more difficult for her to fight her first instinct: to scream. She dug her teeth into her lower lip in order to keep from making a noise. Trying to calm herself down, she took a few quick breaths. That, however, only fueled her panic as she realized with horror how hard breathing through the cloth was, but she somehow managed not to have a complete meltdown. She could breathe, after all. It was just difficult. She focused on that for a moment, and used that to consider her situation.

It wasn’t easy to form coherent thoughts, not with the fear that was infecting her system, and certainly not with the fact that she could feel the youki of the person carrying her. Her reiki was always under control, and she had never had any problem with it, but as it was, it took everything she had not to let it spike. If she did, it could have disastrous consequences.

She swallowed, and forced herself to focus. What did she know? The men of the village had knocked her out, but clearly, she wasn’t with them anymore. She closed her eyes, both to calm down her breathing and to try to remember Mo’s words.

“I’m really sorry, Kagome,” he’d sighed, shaking his head dejectedly. “If there was any other way, I would choose it, but you’re the village’s priestess, and I know you understand why you must offer yourself in this situation.”

“What are you talking about?” she’d asked, tensed, not aware of the gravity of the moment yet.

Her eyes shot open as his words finally came back to her.

“I’m sorry,” he’d repeated. “I believe what we need right now is a virgin sacrifice.”

‘The situation’ had to be a reference to whatever lived in the forest. From what she’d been told when she had joined the village as a priestess, only a couple of weeks ago, in replacement for a distant cousin of hers who had been murdered, everyone believed it was a god that they had angered. They made regular offerings to it, once a month, on the full moon. And tonight was…

Gods. She was tonight’s offering.

She had just realized it when she felt herself falling, and let out a cry of protest when she hit the ground. She closed her mouth shut, but the damage was done already.

The silence that followed was excruciating. She felt the bag being lifted as though she weighed nothing, and she knew that it wouldn’t be long until it was open. Concentrating her reiki in her hands, Kagome prepared for a fight. She would not go down easily. She knew herself, knew her power, and she didn’t doubt that she would be able to take out a demon, even without her bow, if she had the advantage of surprise.

But, as she prepared to deal it a death blow, knowing that she wouldn’t have another chance, she hesitated.

Maybe she was being unfair. Maybe it was her fear speaking, and not her reason. Her work was not to inflict death. It had never been, and in fact, she had always held strong beliefs against that practice. Kagome knew that gods and demons could often be reasoned with, and that they would rarely go out of their way to attack humans unless provoked.

It was stupid, not to kill the demon instantly. An act of folly. It was taking a chance on something nonsensical.

Kagome took it anyway.

When the bag was finally pulled down, she held back her power, only sending a flash strong enough to make the demon jump back with a surprised growl. Sharp pain to her cheek told her she’d been hit, but she didn’t care as she stared at the supposed god that terrorized the village, and all she found was…

A young man. No older than herself, probably under twenty. Sure, his hair was white, his eyes seemed like liquid gold, and the dog-ears on his head weren’t human, but other than that— He was practically a boy. Skinny, almost to the point of being called scrawny, and his entire body tense as a bow string.

Kagome slowly lowered her hands, though she didn’t disperse her reiki just yet. The man kept growling as he glared at her, claws in evidence. His eyes moved over her clothes, a priestess’ garment, and the growl only became louder.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Where’s my food?”

Fear was soon replaced by anger, and Kagome shot him a death glare that would have made most men cower. He didn’t react to it — she hadn’t expected him to. Clearly, he was not ‘most men’.

“Oh I’m sorry, am I not a sacrifice satisfying enough?”

“Sacrifice?” he repeated with a frown. “The hell sort of sacrifice are you? Am I supposed to— eat you?”

People didn’t eat other people, did they? He couldn’t say he was tempted, even if she smelled a lot like fresh meat.

“No, I’m—” Kagome rolled her eyes. She had not expected to have to explain that part of the situation, and now it was weirdly uncomfortable. “They said they needed to make a— a virgin sacrifice. To appease you.”

A puzzled look appeared on the man’s face, and for a second, Kagome really feared that she would have to explain to him what a virgin sacrifice was. But then, his eyes widened in understanding, and, much to her surprise, his cheeks heated up. He glanced away from her, blushing and clearly embarrassed, which only made her feel more awkward.

“K-keh! So there’ll be no food this month?”

The question took Kagome off guard, yet again, and she was starting to realize that she really did not like that sensation. Why was she always one step behind? Something was wrong here.

“I… suppose not.”

For a few moments, there was only silence. He was crouching and glaring at her and she was trying her best to assess the situation, now that her fear was mostly gone, but she still was far from having enough information. First things first, then. Clearing her throat, she asked him about the thing that had been on her mind ever since she had felt his aura.

“You’re… not a god, are you?”

His lips curled to reveal his fangs, and his growl, which had stopped when she’d mentioned being a virgin sacrifice, picked up again.

“Are you making fun of me?”

His voice was defiant, and Kagome didn’t doubt that he would have attacked her if he hadn’t feared her powers. She swallowed as she looked him over once more. His youki was extremely powerful, so she had assumed he was a demon from the beginning, but now that she was looking at him, there was only one explanation that made sense. She hadn’t even considered it before, but the ears spoke for themselves.

“You’re a half-demon,” she said slowly.

“Gotta problem with that?” he snapped.

“Everyone believes you cursed the village,” she said, shaking her head, just trying to understand. She didn’t know how such a mistake had been possible. She’d only ever met Kikyo a few times, but based on what she’d heard about her power, there was no way she wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference. Maybe, maybe, she would have believed him to be a full demon, but she doubted even that.

“Sounds just like those assholes to blame their problems on me,” he mumbled bitterly. “Been blaming me for their priestess’s death, too.”

That caught her attention again.

“You’re Inuyasha?” she asked.

He almost jumped when she said his name, before focusing back on her. His eyes were shining dangerously, and Kagome resisted the urge to lift her hands defensively in front of herself. She didn’t want to risk escalating the situation.

“How would ya know that?”

“I was told that, on her deathbed, Kikyo said you were responsible for her final injuries.”

She watched his face crumble. The shock in his eyes, the way his lips fell. He whirled around, turning his back on her, but his reaction told her everything she needed to know. Having seen that— she couldn’t believe he had anything to do with her cousin’s death.

“She said that, huh?” he asked, voice sounding a little too loud and too clear. “Sounds just like that bitch. Keeping me her dirty little secret and stabbing me in the back last second. Nothing surprising about it.”

Kagome watched his back, silently. She didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know where she went from here.

“I’m Kagome, by the way,” she said, awkwardly.

That snapped him out of whatever emotion he was feeling, and he turned around.

“I didn’t ask,” he growled. “So ya said ya were— a sacrifice? Were ya okay with that?”

Her lower lip started to tremble, as it finally dawned on her what the men from the village had been willing to let happen to her. Whether they expected she’d be killed or— It would all have been horrible for her. The worst part was that she was pretty sure she could have been guilted into accepting it.

“Well, that’s humans for ya,” the half-demon said with a shrug, able to tell what the answer was from her silence.

Kagome forced herself to breathe in, but it didn’t help. She had been called to the village. They had asked for her presence, and she hadn’t thought much about it. She travelled a lot, usually going where she was needed. When they had called for her, she had assumed they wanted someone powerful, given what was living in the forest. She hadn’t doubted their intentions at all. Did they know then? Had they planned this all along? Did they think of it whenever they saw her walking through the village in her robes?

Inuyasha cleared his throat, right before she lost herself completely in questions she didn’t have any answers to, and she looked at him, blinking the tears away.

“What are ya gonna do now? Going back? Are ya gonna tell them that I ain’t a god and I haven’t cursed their village?”

He was trying his best to sound detached but, judging by his previous reaction, he did count on the offerings of food, which meant he did care about what her answer would be. She wanted to give him something, she did, but she didn’t know what to tell him. Even if he hadn’t killed Kikyo, he had injured numerous villagers who had ventured into the forest. She couldn’t find it in herself to feel bad for them right now, but he was still very much dangerous, even if he looked so young and normal. He could probably feel her reiki, and that might be why he hadn’t done anything to her yet. He might very well be waiting for her to lower her defenses to strike.

“I don’t know,” she admitted regardless, voice weak. “I can’t say I really want to go back there.”

The silence that followed was heavy and uncomfortable. Kagome wrapped her arms around her knees, pressing them against her chest, and finally let the reiki dissipate in the air. She would be able to summon more energy if needed, but it didn’t look like it. For now, at least.

“I guess ya can sleep here,” Inuyasha finally said, reluctantly. “’s not much, but it’s warmer than outside, and demons don’t come here.”

She could understand why. The air was infused with his youki, clearly marking the place as his territory. It made sense that other demons wouldn’t want to challenge him.

“…I think that would be for the best,” she said.

His reaction was less than enthusiastic. He sighed, obviously considering retracting his offer, then pointed at the hut with his chin.

“C’mon.”

Kagome pushed herself up, wincing at the sudden wave of pain that shot through her head, where she had been hit. If Inuyasha noticed it, he didn’t show it. In only a few large strides, he was in front of the hut, pushing the curtain that served as a door.

“You comin’ or what?”

Well, even if he didn’t kill her, he was pretty insufferable, Kagome decided as she followed him, walk a little wobbly.

The hut consisted of one room, with no furniture whatsoever. In a corner, there was some straw and what looked like a blanket, laying directly on the earth, and that was about it. It was not, by any means, comfortable, and Kagome found herself almost horrified at the thought that he lived here. These conditions were definitely not good.

“I told ya, it ain’t a palace or anything, but unless you wanna sleep outside, you should get your ass in here.”

Inuyasha’s annoyed voice — though Kagome was pretty sure she detected a hint of shame in there as well — finally got her to step in.

“You can sleep there,” he said, pointing at what was probably his bed.

“But what about you?” she questioned, concern filling her voice despite the fact that she wanted nothing more than to collapse on there to soothe her throbbing head.

In the darkness, with the only window in the hut being the sole source of light, she missed the suspicious glance he shot her. When he didn’t find anything in her behavior that should keep him on his guard, he merely shrugged.

“I’ll be good. I’m not like you humans, my body can handle a lot more.”

Kagome accepted his explanation, too tired to object that demons, while more resistant, still needed sleep.

“Well, if you’re fine with it…”

The only response she got was another shrug, so she slipped under the blanket and did her best to wrap herself in it. As expected, it wasn’t pleasant, but it was better than nothing. She watched as Inuyasha went to sit against the wall opposite her, putting as much distance between them as he could in this small space, and closed his eyes. She hesitated a second before rolling around, turning her back to him. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest decision, as she wouldn’t see him coming if he attacked her, but she knew she’d hate it if someone watched her as she slept.

Even with her exhaustion, sleep wouldn’t come to her, and the pain did not help. After a while, she rolled over again, attempting to find a better position to sleep. When she moved, she saw his eyes opening. It lasted less than a second, just long enough for her to see a golden flash, but it told her that he was keeping track of her actions.

It seemed that he was as weary of her as she was of him. The thought was almost reassuring. She wouldn’t attack him, unless he did first, and if he felt the same, well, they were both probably safe.

And with that thought, Kagome was finally able to find sleep.

When she stepped out of the hut in the morning, Kagome at least felt a little better. Her head still hurt, and the cut on her cheek stung, but she assumed she would be okay. The first thing she did was to examine her surroundings, something she hadn’t been able to do when she’d arrived at night.

There was something surreal about being here, in the middle of a forest she’d been told was inhabited by dangerous monsters since she’d arrived, and to see that it was, actually, a really normal place. The sun was shining bright in the sky, the birds were chirping in the trees. Today was looking like a beautiful day.

Looking around, she realized the hut was by a lake, in an enclosed area surrounded by cliffs. There was a small waterfall just a little further, making the river the only easy way out, though she assumed Inuyasha had other ways. The scenery was idyllic, in stark contrast with everything she’d imagined about the forest. Sure, she could feel youki all around her, even with Inuyasha’s so present, and she couldn’t forget that this place clearly wasn’t inhabited by humans, but it was all so… peaceful.

She heard a noise above her, and was startled when Inuyasha simply jumped down from a cliff. He landed with a grunt, and she took her chance to examine him as he pushed himself back up as though he hadn’t fallen from at least ten meters.

She hadn’t noticed in the night that he was dressed entirely in red, and that was not the only way he looked very different in the daylight. He went from a mythical being to— a person, simply put. She noted his sharp jaw, the hard glint in his eyes, the frown that she doubted ever left his face. When his eyes turned towards her, she glanced away quickly, then berated herself for her reaction. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Hey!” Inuyasha yelled at her, “I got some food for ya!”

Joining her, he hastily handed her some fruits.

“It ain’t much, but ’s all the forest gives at this time of the year,” he explained.

“It’s fine,” Kagome replied, forcing herself to smile. “Thank you for that.”

A look of suspicion passed on his face, and he had to bite back a comment. He didn’t like her behavior, not one bit. People were never nice to him. He definitely expected her to try some shady shit. Maybe she wanted something from him. He couldn’t figure out what for the love of him, but that would explain that ‘virgin sacrifice’ story she’d told him. After all, he’d never asked for that. Surely, those guys weren’t twisted enough to get that in their mind without any suggestion?

Keh. All things considered, he wouldn’t put it past them.

Humans couldn’t be trusted, after all.

“You should try to wash yourself,” he said bluntly as she bit down on a pear. “You reek.”

In fact, she smelled like animal blood. That was why he hadn’t been able to tell she was in that bag. Which was definitely weird and—

“Excuse me?” she protested, eyes wide. “I’m so sorry I didn’t have time to wash myself before I was given as a sacrifice, you—”

Was she insane? Did she think that, just because she was a priestess, there’d be nothing he could do to her?

“Whatever, wench,” he growled. “Should probably take care of your clothes, too, ‘cause it ain’t any better.”

Kagome didn’t think she’d ever been so insulted. It took a lot of her self-control not to shoot some reiki at him. She tried to tell herself that he had helped her so far, and that it was probably a bad idea, but damn if it wasn’t tempting. She folded her arms on her chest, self-consciously tightening her clothes around her.

“And what am I supposed to wear then, you pervert?”

The way his eyes widened as color rose to his cheeks his face told her that he had not considered that difficulty.

“That’s not what I— Ah, fuck.”

He quickly got rid of his haori and pushed it in her hands.

“Just get it done. I’ll be— around. Scream if a demon starts eating you alive or— something.”

With that, he was gone, and Kagome was the first surprised when she felt a grin lift the corner of her lips. She’d been told before that she trusted too easily, clearly she had, and perhaps this was another one of those situations, but Inuyasha just seemed weirdly… inoffensive. She didn’t doubt that he could be dangerous, however it was also strangely easy to forget.

Shaking her head, she walked to the lake, and found a place where she would be hidden by rocks to take off her clothes, before taking a deep breath and plunging in.

It was the middle of spring, and the water was biting cold, which didn’t stop her from immersing herself completely. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Inuyasha was right about her needing a bath. She didn’t think she reeked — jerk —, but she didn’t think she smelled great either. She took the time to rub her body energetically, then to rinse and disentangle her hair. She was almost done and was about to start working on her clothes when she felt a disturbance in the forest’s youki.

She only had the time to look up before a giant centipede, with a woman’s chest and head, came out of the woods, screeching in a high-pitched voice. Instinctively, Kagome tried to reach for her bow and arrows, only to find them missing. She didn’t have time for anything else, so she moved as though she did have them at her disposal. With only her mind, as the Centipede was closing in on her, already opening its mouth wide enough to swallow her whole in one bite, she shot a reiki arrow.

The shot was unfocused, difficult to maintain, and it wasn’t nearly as efficient as an actual arrow would have been, but the creature was close enough that there was no way she could have missed it. Fortunately, purification was her strong suit, and the Centipede was destroyed in an inhumane scream.

Kagome remained there, trembling, frozen in place, unable to comprehend what had just happened. She was still immobile when Inuyasha burst into the clearing, jumping in the water in front of her, fully clothed.

“What the hell was that? What—”

His eyes widened and he spun around, though not quite quickly enough for her to miss the blush forming on his cheeks. Kagome slowly realized, while staring at his back, puzzled by his reaction at first, that it was because she was naked. That finally got her to move, and she wrapped herself in his haori, hands shaking so hard that she had to try several times before she made it.

She forced herself to breathe in. She’d fought and killed demons before. Sure, this time she’d been taken completely off guard, and she didn’t have her weapons here, but still. She’d been through worse. She couldn’t let this affect her that much.

“Wash your clothes,” Inuyasha ordered, though the effect was undercut by the fact that his back was still turned to her. “I’ll be closer, ‘kay?” Then, after a moment of awkward silence, he added “Good job on that one”, and took off as fast as he had the last time.

Kagome didn’t even have it in herself to protest his manners right now. She started to wash her priestess garment, with regular movements that she had done a hundred times before. Still, the Centipede’s scream kept replaying in her mind, and she couldn’t seem to shake off that horrible feeling she’d had when she had realized that her bow wasn’t there.

Despite all her efforts, her hands didn’t stop shaking.

Inuyasha watched the woman from above. Seeing his haori on her shoulders made him feel— weird, to say the least. He hadn’t expected her natural scent to be so pleasant for his nose, and he knew his clothes would definitely smell like her afterwards. Right now, though, the aroma from the mix of their scents was having more of an effect on him than he’d have wanted it to. Stupid demonic instincts…

It would probably only get worse if she chose to stay. He didn’t have much experience in that domain, because he hadn’t been in contact with many dog demons, or not for a long time, but it was likely he’d start to consider her part of his pack. Which meant he’d feel protective of her. Get attached to her.

He sat up with a growl at that thought. He knew he should have wanted her to leave, if only to avoid that. She was human, after all. She wouldn’t have the same instincts as him, and judging on how easy it had apparently been for Kikyo to stab him in the back, he didn’t have many hopes for that one.

Keh. He couldn’t believe Kikyo would have done something like that to him. He’d— Fuck, he didn’t know if he’d loved her, not when they’d spent so long openly distrusting each other, but saying that, on her deathbed? She’d really done him dirty.

And it sucked, because he hadn’t been able to mourn her. He’d been preparing himself to meet her, in the clearing when they found each other, when it had happened. It was like a refuge for them, a place where they just— sat, next to each other, and talked, ignoring their differences. She spoke a lot about not wanting to be a priestess anymore. He listened, mostly. Let her daydream out loud about a world where they’d both be simple humans. Normal.

It had almost made him want that, too.

But Kikyo had died, and the villagers had tried to kill him, almost succeeding that night, because they’d taken him by surprise, and he’d been all alone once more.

He swallowed, risking another glance at the new priestess. He should have gotten rid of her as soon as he’d realized she was a— a person. Should have made sure she wouldn’t be able to guide anyone to this place, and shouldn’t have looked back. However, even though she clearly viewed him as a threat, judging by that first shot of reiki she’d fired at him, she hadn’t commented on the fact that he was a half-demon. Her gaze had lingered on his ears, but outside of that, she hadn’t shown she was even aware of the implications of his status, something humans were usually very keen on reminding him.

That had gotten him… curious. Not hopeful, he didn’t do that anymore, but if she proved to be somewhat interesting, if she could dull the loneliness, even just a bit… Let’s say he wouldn’t be opposed to her presence.

He’d been alone for almost as long as he could remember. The memories of his mother had been fading, and he now tried his best not to think about it, because he couldn’t take that her face wasn’t as clear in his mind as it used to be. He clung to her scent, which he still knew, but he didn’t have much else, and when that’d be gone— He’d have nothing left. He knew it was stupid, to try to make new memories, hadn’t worked well with Kikyo and wouldn’t work with that one either, and yet he couldn’t help but try.

He could take being alone, had for years. He couldn’t take not having a single good thing, a single good person to remember. He just couldn’t.

Down there, the priestess was done with her washing and had laid her clothes on a rock, waiting for them to dry, and he decided that was his cue to go back down.

She jumped when he landed next to her. In other circumstances, he might have found that funny, but right now, he was just satisfied with her reaction. She should be afraid. This place was deadly, and ignoring it wouldn’t do her any good. If she was on her guards, it was all for the better. As long as she didn’t zap him with her reiki, at least.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, frowning, when he didn’t talk immediately.

Yeah. Fine. Just, there was this weirdly childish part of him that liked to imagine that she wouldn’t remember she was supposed to choose whether to leave or to stay today, and that she’d just end up… Well. Staying.

Like she could fucking forget something like that.

“’s all good. You?”

She shivered at the question, but quickly caught herself.

“I’m… fine. I didn’t think a demon would come here. Your youki is pretty powerful. I thought it would keep them at bay.”

“It usually does,” he replied, shrugging off her concern. “Could be ‘cause they smelled the blood, or ‘cause you’re a new smell. Some find reiki… tasty, I guess.”

She threw him a horrified glance, and he took offense at that.

“Calm the fuck down. I don’t eat people. Would be shit if you taste as bad as you smell anyway.”

Kagome rolled her eyes, reminding herself that she should not waste her energy on getting offended because this jerk implied she would taste bad. It just was not worth it.

“Men at your village did that?” he asked, pointing at the injury on the side of her head.

She had done her best to clean it, and she didn’t think the wound was infected. It still throbbed painfully, and it couldn’t possibly look good, but there was not much she could do about it right now.

“They did,” she replied, mouth dry. “They knocked me out before… You know.”

He did, and it still didn’t sit right with him. He wondered if they just wanted to get rid of her and were hoping he would do the dirty work for them, or if there was something else underneath it all, but he just couldn’t come up with an answer.

“So? You gonna go back there or what?”

She flinched, suddenly snapped out of her thoughts, and Inuyasha cursed himself. He was supposed to approach the subject carefully — or, ideally, not at all — and that just wasn’t the way to do it. Especially since he had this irrational wish that she would stay.

“Well, I clearly can’t for the moment,” she said, finally. “My clothes are drying, and I don’t think I feel well enough to travel. But…”

Inuyasha’s ears had perked up, which was pretty pathetic in his opinion, but at least she hadn’t noticed. That wasn’t definitive, not by any means, but it was something, right? If she stayed for a few days, he could perhaps— pretend. Pretend she was something for him that he could never even hope for. Pretend that, maybe, she didn’t feel sick and disgusted from being in his presence.

“But?”

“I just— I have nothing here. I’m not talking about the food, you can clearly find those things, even without the offering—” Inuyasha felt his chest swell with pride, as his instincts to provide for his pack kicked in. “—but there isn’t much I can do about the creatures here. I mean, I barely took down the Centipede, and you and I know it’s not the most dangerous thing to live in those woods, not by a long shot. Not to mention I don’t have herbs to take care of my wounds, or…”

“I know where herbs humans like grow,” Inuyasha interrupted her. “Can’t help you with picking them, don’t really know the difference between ‘em, but I can take ya there. I can go steal stuff from the village, too, but if you’re talking ‘bout your bow, I don’t think I’d make it to the temple. That’s usually under heavy guard.”

Kagome frowned, but nodded.

“I suppose I could learn to focus my reiki without it. It’s doable, in practice. If you know where herbs grow, that would be great, though.”

Inuyasha couldn’t help but think that there was something weird in the way she spoke to him. He was vaguely aware that it was because she talked to him normally, without calling him a monster, a half-breed, or an abomination every sentence, but there was something other than that. He couldn’t identify it as respect — he hadn’t been faced with it enough — however he could hear the underlying kindness in it.

That definitely played a role in him letting her stay, in walking her to the spot where herbs grew, later in the day, and in waiting around to make sure she wouldn’t get in trouble. It was rather nice, to have someone talking to him like that, he wasn’t gonna complain, that was for sure, and yet…

There was also something worrying about it. If she kept it up, it would probably get harder to endure the way others spoke to him, so, when he recognized it for what it was, he told himself he shouldn’t get used to it.

But fuck if he didn’t want to.

Days passed. Kagome was healing slowly but, though she appreciated not feeling pain every time she got up anymore, the idea was more worrying than pleasant to her. Every time she thought about it, and about going back to the village, she felt a pit in her stomach. She hated it. She had always lived to help others, devoted herself to it body and soul.

And they had betrayed her so easily.

She didn’t think she would be able to change her behavior, even after that. She knew herself well enough to be able tell that if someone was in danger, she would jump in without a second thought. She spontaneously took action for others. It was just who she was, what she did.

Now though, the thought of doing this for them was actively sickening. The thought that they would use her, would take advantage of her again, and the knowledge that she probably wouldn’t be able to stop them— it hurt in so many ways. She didn’t want to be the type of person who couldn’t trust. It was— She believed people were good. Maybe not entirely, and maybe they hadn’t always been, to her and to others, but all in all, she thought everyone deserved her help, her kindness. If they talked to her about their issues, she wanted to be able to listen to them and  to believe them.

The idea that she might not be able to do that anymore was soul-crushing.

Inuyasha, as it turned out, wasn’t of much help when it came to her moral dilemma, and she hated that he had been the first recipient of her new-found mistrust. He didn’t deserve that. Clearly, he had been through enough already.

Not that he had talked to her about it. In general, they didn’t talk much. She’d tried to engage in some conversations, but he’d shrug her off quickly, take off in the woods, or close his eyes, leaning against the wall of his hut. She knew he could probably still hear her, because there was no way he fell asleep that fast, but she got the message, loud and clear.

It didn’t mean there was no communication between them, though. It wasn’t much, and he certainly didn’t make any grand gestures, but if she mentioned something, he’d make sure she would get it. It generally manifested in food, but he also stole some items she’d brought up. She knew she should have said something then, but she hadn’t found it in herself to berate him.

“Thank you,” she’d just said, genuinely grateful.

“Keh. If it can get you to stop talking my ears off, it’ll have been worth it.”

But she was starting to be able to read him, and even if his arms were folded on his chest, and he was frowning, she knew that when his ears perked up that way, it meant he was happy about the attention.

It was the cutest thing ever.

“You shouldn’t put yourself in danger by going to the village, though,” she’d added, genuine worry piercing in her voice. “I can make it without these. I really don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

As most of their conversations, it had ended abruptly, with him rolling his eyes and growling “Whatever” before running off in the forest, and she’d let out a long sigh. Just once, she would have liked not to feel like a complete nuisance when she talked to him. Was that really too much to ask?

It wasn’t even like they could avoid each other completely, otherwise she would have given him as much space as he wanted. Instead, they lived together, in a really small space. He had taken to sleeping regularly outside, and when she’d voiced her concerns, because she really, really didn’t want to push him out of his living space, he had vaguely replied that he did that before she was here, that he liked sleeping in trees, and that she was overestimating her own importance.

Another extremely fulfilling conversation.

So Kagome had done her best to use the same language as him. She couldn’t be as silent as him, because she was the type of person to express herself vocally, and not with growls and grunts, but she could pick herbs and fruits, even if she still didn’t stray far from the hut, and she could kill small demons. So that was a start.

She did her best to pay attention to him silently, to avoid scaring him off, which wasn’t simple for her. It was obvious that he was used to a rough existence. There was no hidden softness in him. Whether in his body, all muscles and bones, or in his behavior, he seemed to treat everything with the same harshness, including himself. It was that very harshness that came out when he was talking to her. That became a lot easier to accept once she realized that it was just who he was and that it was very likely that he hadn’t received anything else.

She wanted to show him something else.

That turned out not to be such an easy task. He always pushed her away when she tried to show him kindness. She didn’t know if he just really didn’t like her, or if it made him uncomfortable for some reason. She didn’t want to impose anything on him, she just wanted him to know. Not everything needed to be so hard all the time.

When she was coming back from picking fruits, she found him knees deep in the lake, and chest bare. It wasn’t the first time, and she was pretty sure he had caught glimpses of her naked as well. Normally, she would have been uncomfortable with it, but her attachment to privacy had greatly diminished recently, so she just watched him from the corner of her eyes, absent-mindedly noticing his toned chest.

She heard him groaning in annoyance as he attempted to untangle his hair. His claws seemed to be doing a pretty good job at that, but it still looked like an unpleasant experience. She winced in sympathy for him, and then the idea hit her.

“Do you want me to brush your hair?” she asked, words leaving her mouth before she had really decided whether or not it was a good idea.

The look he gave her told her that it definitely wasn’t one. Yet, because she just didn’t know when to quit, she insisted.

“You got me a brush, remember? That would be a lot easier, and I would actually see what I’m doing.”

Inuyasha glared at her, and Kagome swallowed. She was pretty sure that was an argument she’d just lost. It was obvious, from the look in his eyes, that he was doubting her. Well, it would just be another failure to add to her list. No big deal, fine, whatev—

“Okay. But if you try anything funny, I’ll tear off your hand.”

“That’s great!” she beamed. “Just give me a second to get the brush!”

He was still eyeing her suspiciously when she came back, and she wondered what he thought she would do. Beat him to death with the brush?

She sat on a rock, and he took place between her legs, back turned to her. He tilted his head, and she got to work, an inexplicable grin forming on her lips. His hair was surprisingly smooth and silky between her hands, and it was a pleasant feeling underneath her fingers. After the first tense minutes, Inuyasha started to relax. His shoulders fell down, and she heard him taking in a deep breath, followed by a long exhale.

Her movements were slow, careful. Soft. Evidently, he didn’t mind the treatment.

“Can I touch your ears?” she asked, curious, after a while. She had wondered about them since she had first seen him.

“Don’t pull on ‘em,” he mumbled back, voice almost slurred, as though he was falling asleep.

She decided to take that as a yes. Hesitantly, she reached to take one in her hand, and let out a small exclamation when she found it feeling like real fur. Not just that, but it was pleasantly pliable, and she had to actively resist an urge to play with it.

Don’t, Kagome, she told herself. She didn’t want him to push her away again.

But Inuyasha didn’t say anything as she massaged them. Instead, he let out what she thought was a contented sigh.

“So,” he said, still with that half-asleep voice, “your injury’s better. Are ya, y’know, going back there? Have ya made your mind ‘bout that?”

Kagome froze and let go of his ears. She cleared her throat awkwardly as she took back the brush and got back to taking care of his hair.

“I’m in no hurry,” she admitted, voice small. “Why, do you want to get rid of me that bad?”

She had intended to say it as a joke, but it sounded desperate instead.

Inuyasha’s long silence after that only made her feel worse. If he was trying to find a nice way to say it, it was more than she had expected. She thought she would only receive bluntness in response, but she could take him at least not wanting to hurt her feelings too badly.

“…nah,” he said, so low she almost missed it. “Y’can stay a while longer. Or a lot longer. I don’t mind.”

That almost had her dropping her brush.

“Really?” she asked in disbelief. “You told me I was breathing too much of your air.”

“Didn’t mean that.”

“You said if I hurt myself when picking fruits, you’d me get eaten by the wolves.”

“I wouldn’t have done that.”

“You—”

“Ugh, fine, go, see if I care!” he finally exploded, standing up and stepping away from her.

He found her with a bright, wide smile on her face, and his heart skipped a beat.

He didn’t know he was capable of making someone smile like that.

“I’d love to stay,” she said softly. “I just didn’t think you’d want me to.”

“Well I told ya. I don’t care.”

“Actually,” she grinned, leaning forward, “you said you didn’t mind.”

“I meant I didn’t care!”

“Right.”

“I don’t care! I fucking mind if you’re going to be like that!”

Then Kagome bursted out laughing, and Inuyasha felt like he couldn’t breathe simply from listening to her. The laugh flew high in the sky, losing itself between the clouds, and Inuyasha felt lucky from having been there to witness that. Hearing her laugh. Certainly felt like an event in and of itself.

“Thank you,” she said, simply.

“Keh. You’re welcome.”

When she pushed herself off the rock to get up, he held out his hand for her. He didn’t know why he did, certainly couldn’t find a good reason, but he did anyway.

She took it without any hesitation, ignoring the calloused palms and the claws. This time, he felt like he could finally breathe, like she was injecting air directly to his lungs.

He could get used to that feeling.

[missjanjie]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered | (6/7)

Title: Signed, Sealed, Delivered Summary:   Jan is in love with her French pen pal, Nicky. Her roommate, Crystal, is in love with her best friend, Gigi. A (perhaps ill-thought out) plan emerges: give Nicky a reason to visit by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi’s wedding. With a month to pull the scheme together, no one knows how this will end up. Word Count: ~3k (this chapter) / ~17.4k (total) Relationship(s): Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll), Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode Rating: E

Read on AO3 | Ko-Fi

Jan rubbed her eyes, trying to dislodge whatever had gotten caked in there overnight, then pushed herself out of bed and made herself walk towards the kitchen. She put on her glasses and saw Crystal cooking breakfast – so she took off her glasses and put them on again to make sure she was seeing that correctly. “You’re up bright and early,” she observed.

“Is that weird?” Crystal asked, feigning innocence because the answer was obvious. Especially since she couldn’t look Jan in the eye and started shifting her weight from one leg to the other. That went on for about twenty seconds before she broke. “Okay, okay. It’s just… Gigi spent the night.”

That didn’t clear anything up for Jan, who waited for a further explanation. When she didn’t get one, she pointed out, “Gigi spends the night all the time, we both know she’s very comfortable with that. I mean… She practically lives here.”

She huffed because now she had to get into specifics. “No, but it was different this time. We… you know…” instead of outright saying it, she made a ‘v’ with her fingers and flicked her tongue between them.

“Oh please, you can just say you fucked,” Jan said, only for it to hit her a beat later. “Oh my god, you guys fucked?” Her eyes went wide and she bounced excitedly. “Wait, wait, wait. What does that mean for you guys now? Are you gonna be a thing? Is she still here?”

Crystal blinked. “How can you breathe when you’re talking so fast?” She turned back to finish cooking, then plated the food. “She’s taking a shower… I don’t know what this means for us,” she sighed. “The whole thing started because she said we weren’t convincing when we kissed for the photos. Maybe she thought we needed to explore our physical chemistry so we can use it better.”

Jan put her hand over her mouth and giggled. “I’m sorry, but that sounds like a line,” she told her, moving around the kitchen island to pour herself coffee. “Which, I mean, is good for you, because it means she was looking for an excuse to feel you up,” she added, bumping her hip against Crystal’s.

“That’s what I said! But she swore we just needed to be super convincing or it’d ruin our whole plan.”

She quirked her brow and snickered. “You believed that?”

Crystal looked down, pushing a forkful of her omelet into her mouth. “I mean… Why would she make that up? That doesn’t make any sense.” She looked back up, eyes meeting her roommate’s incredulous expression. “What?”

Jan was about to scream, her eyes ready to pop out of her head. If it was obvious to her, it was damn near bewildering that Crystal couldn’t pick up on it. This wasn’t some cute, subtle flirting, like the kind they had been trying to master this whole time – this was as close to an outright declaration of affection that someone like Gigi would get. “I don’t know, Crystal,” she answered with pointed sarcasm, “lying to people we like seems to be the norm here, let’s think this through a little bit.”

Luckily for Crystal, she didn’t get a chance to think too hard. Before she could reply, Gigi exited the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body, another wrapping up her hair. She looked at the other two girls, blissfully unaware of the bubbling tension between the two roommates. “Hi Jan,” she greeted, at least realizing she had walked in on the middle of a conversation, and added, “I’m gonna go get dressed,” before disappearing into Crystal’s bedroom.

Crystal exhaled once Gigi left and waited for her heart to return to its normal speed. She hated that even though she knew the other girl hadn’t heard anything, her mere presence made her chest tighten. Even after all that had happened the night before, she had the feeling of walking on eggshells around Gigi whenever the subject of her feelings was approached. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Not to sound like the world’s biggest hypocrite, but you could talk to her about it,” Jan suggested gently. She imagined life was a lot easier for people who weren’t afraid to say how they feel, to just open their hearts up and speak their mind without fear of repercussion. It must be nice. Completely unrealistic, but nice.

Unsurprisingly, Crystal scoffed at the mere suggestion. “If talking about things was plausible, we wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.”

Jan sighed and leaned against the counter. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair.” She exhaled deeply and looked out the window. “God, we’re pretty fucking useless. Almost makes it hard to believe that graduation’s at the end of the week,” she mused. “When’s your family due in?”

“Day before the ceremony, so Friday. Means we got two whole days of peace and quiet before we have to deal with them,” Crystal explained between bites. But then she abruptly stopped, eyes going wide. “Oh fuck, what’re we gonna do about the… everything?”

Before Jan could answer, Gigi – now fully dressed – rejoined them, naturally noticing the horror in Crystal’s expression before anything else. “What’s wrong?”

“We failed to account for Crystal’s family flying out here in the midst of all of this,” Jan told her. “So we’re either going to have to clue them in, avoid mentioning anything entirely, or let her conservative parents think she’s about to marry a girl they’ve met… what, twice?”

Crystal nodded to confirm Jan’s answer. “I think the second one is our best chance, probably the easiest one too.” She strummed her fingers against the plate, lips pursed and brows furrowed. “Gigi, you need to tell your mom not to say anything, they’ll still probably want to say hi to you guys.”

Gigi shrugged. “Sure, but I don’t think she’s planning on going to the ceremony, so I dunno when she’d see them anyway.”

“I’m just covering our asses!” Crystal snapped, causing both of the other girls to take a surprised, cautious step backward. She took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. “Look, my parents are… They’re trying. But it’s still a work in progress. I just want everything to go as smoothly as possible.”

Jan and Gigi moved back to Crystal, gently holding her from either side. “Everything is going to be fine,” Jan said with a certainty she’d been lacking for the entirety of their plan. But it was different, avoidable, and they weren’t going to let it ruin such an important day. “We’re not gonna let anything ruin this, I promise.”

------

Jan and Crystal, like the rest of their graduating class, were seated in alphabetical order, keeping them apart for the duration of the ceremony. They texted each other, and both Jan and Gigi made sure to reassure Crystal that there was nothing to worry about. And as they sat and listened to speech after speech, things felt increasingly calm, to the point that they were both able to walk across the stage with their heads held high.

And when they tossed their caps in the air, they felt free. The past four years had been a tough, enduring chapter in their lives, but a fun one as well. It also helped to have one less thing on their plate with Nicky’s visit and the ‘wedding’ around the corner.

“I’m so happy for you guys!” Gigi beamed when she finally caught up with the two of them after weaving through the crowd of graduates and their families. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” Crystal answered. “I don’t see why they had to hold this so damn early.”

Jan frowned sympathetically. “She didn’t get a chance to get her coffee,” she clarified to Gigi. “Honestly, I’m just happy it’s all done. Gonna miss a lot of it but like… I’m not rushing back any time soon.”

“Yeah? Not going for that MFA?” Gigi asked, absentmindedly looping her arm around Crystal’s waist.

“Not now, at least,” she shrugged. “Gonna see how far I can get with this before I sign myself up for more school.” As she spoke, she felt her phone vibrate in her purse, then fished it out and smiled when she unlocked it. “Aw, look at this cute ‘congratulations’ gif Nicky sent me.”

Crystal’s gaze narrowed as she looked at the screen. “Congrats on your graduation, darling. I have a special present for you, but it’s a surprise. Heart, winky-kissy emoji,” she read off the screen, then looked at Jan quizzically. “What the fuck was that? Did you guys move to sexting already?”

Despite her reddening face, Jan’s expression read just as perplexed. “Believe me, you would know if we were. I have no idea what the surprise is.” She decided to set the mystery aside for the time being. “We should get back home and throw an overnight bag together, we can check into the hotel and leave them there, then right out to dinner with our families.”

“I still can’t believe your parents booked you a night in a penthouse for graduation,” Gigi chimed in. “They don’t mind that I’m going too, right?”

Jan shook her head. “It’s fine, you’ll just have to share a bed with Crystal… But I’m sure that won’t be an issue, right?” she did her best to fight off a smirk, but by the way, Crystal was glaring at her, she was pretty sure her efforts were not paying off.

But Gigi didn’t seem to notice either way. “Yeah, no problem here,” she answered with a casual shrug.

------

Much to everyone’s relief, dinner with Crystal and Jan’s families went off without a hitch, and the two of them, along with Gigi, were ready to have a fun, relaxing night in the penthouse. The suite had two queen-sized beds, Jan running to claim the one closer to the window and the air conditioning.

“Holy shit,” Crystal remarked as she looked around. “How much did this cost?”

“Dunno, my dad used his airline points to cover it,” Jan explained, then flopped down on the bed. “This is a perfect note to end our college careers on.”

Gigi sat on the edge of the other bed. “Can we order room service?” she asked, pushing herself further onto the bed and aimlessly swinging her legs.

Jan sat up and nodded, then got the menu from the bedside drawer. “You know, Nicky never got back to me about whatever her surprise was, I didn’t get anything in the mail.”

“And no salacious photos?” Gigi asked.

“No.”

“She must have a big package for you,” Crystal mused, then laughed at her wording. She ignored Jan and Gigi rolling their eyes and moved to look at the menu, the three of them calling in an order shortly after.

As the three of them sat on Jan’s bed, eating overpriced food and drinking wine that was probably fancy, but they wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between that and the fifteen dollar bottles they were used to. And after a couple glasses of wine, they had become even more relaxed, enough for Crystal to admit, “Jan knows we fucked, by the way.”

Gigi blinked, looking between Crystal and Jan with her lips pursed around the glass. “I didn’t know it was a secret,” she replied once she lowered the glass. “But why did Jan want to know?”

Crystal swallowed thickly, trying to think of a way to talk herself out of what she’d just gotten into. “Because… We’re friends? We talk to each other about this sort of thing. We’re close.”

“Very close,” Jan added under her breath, then giggled when Crystal shot her a look.

Gigi frowned. “Okay, can I ask something that’s been bugging me for a while? Do you guys have, like, a thing?”

Crystal nearly choked on her drink while Jan just seemed to sit and think, then answered with “define ‘thing’.”

“Look, I know you’re in love with Nicky, I’m not saying I think you guys are gonna run off together or anything,” Gigi assured. “But… Sometimes I get the vibe that Crystal might have a crush on you.”

While Crystal’s mouth hung open in shock and a bit of wine dribbled down her chin, Jan had burst out laughing, narrowly avoiding knocking anything over in the process. It was the type of laughter that left her out of breath and with watery eyes.

“Are you done?” Gigi asked, deadpan. “Did you get it out of your system?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jan panted, then turned to Crystal. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I have to tell her the truth,” and Crystal didn’t put up a fight, so she proceeded. “Okay, look, Crystal and I did have sex. Once. But she did it to take her mind off of how much she likes you. It wasn’t anything more than two friends getting high and helping each other out.”

It wasn’t easy to stun Gigi into silence, but Jan’s explanation seemed to do the trick. Had she had it wrong this whole time? Misread every interaction? Ignored every sign? Sure, she knew she tended to be oblivious, but this just made her feel silly. At this point, she didn’t care that Jan and Crystal had hooked up, all she was concerned with was what happened next. “Since we’re all telling the truth now… I have an embarrassing confession. The last girl I hooked up with… I, um, called her ‘Crystal’ in bed. Kinda realized I couldn’t ignore how I felt anymore.”

“If I may,” Jan chimed in. “Literally the first time I saw you guys without the engagement rings was at graduation. Maybe this was a stupid, convoluted way to figure it out, but I think you guys are supposed to be together. Now, I… suddenly have the desire to take a long bath… Bye.” She got off the bed and quickly ducked into the bathroom to give the other two the time alone they needed.

“She’s trying her best,” Crystal remarked before turning to face Gigi. “I… that story… you weren’t just saying that to have an excuse for liking me, right?”

Gigi smiled softly and shook her head. “Is it really that hard to believe?”

Crystal shrugged. “I guess not. The image of you saying the wrong name in bed is funny, though. Just wanted to make sure it was real.” She shifted closer to Gigi and rested her head on her shoulder. “I’m so tired of pretending, not pretending to be engaged, pretending to just be friends.”

“You’re not suggesting we get engaged for real, are you?”

She laughed, picking her head up and resting it against Gigi’s. “No, not at all. I just wanna be your girlfriend, Geege.”

Gigi grinned broadly and pressed a kiss to Crystal’s lips. “I love how that sounds. Say it again, please.”

And Crystal would’ve happily said it as many times as Gigi wanted, as long as she got a ‘yes’ in return. “I wanna be your girlfriend.”

“Then… You are. That’s that,” she concluded, kissing her again, this time longer and with much more emotion behind it. “If we barricade Jan in the bathroom, we could probably fuck before she breaks down the door.”

Crystal laughed, getting up and moving back to hers and Gigi’s bed. “She wouldn’t care if she walked in on us, neither would I, honestly, but I kind of… don’t want to have sex right now. I’m all emotional and vulnerable and whatever,” she admitted as she laid on her side, opening her arms and beckoning Gigi to join her.

“Oh,” Gigi felt her heart swell with warmth. “We don’t have to at all, then,” she hummed, laying with Crystal and holding her close. She pressed gentle kisses over her face, carding her fingers through Crystal’s hair.

They cuddled in comfortable silence for about another ten minutes until they heard the bathroom door open. Jan was wrapped in a white terrycloth robe, her hair a bit damp, and let out a content sigh. She looked over at the couple and smiled fondly. “Aw, you guys are too cute!” she squealed.

“You weren’t eavesdropping, were you?” Crystal asked.

“Nope,” Jan answered honestly. “I’ve been texting with Nicky. But it looks like you guys worked everything out.”

“We did,” Gigi confirmed, then her brows furrowed. “She’s up late, isn’t she? It’s after three in the morning in France, right?”

Jan looked at her phone and counted to herself. “Yeah, that is late, but that’s not uncommon for her, so I didn’t ask.” She gathered up the plates and glasses, stacking it up on the tray and setting it aside. “You guys are gonna finish this bottle off with me, right?”

Before either of them could answer, there was a knock on the door that caught them all off guard. “Wonder what else my parents have planned,” she mused, expecting some sort of additional graduation present, or maybe just an extra dessert. Either way, she opened the door with a smile, only for her jaw to go slack and practically drop to the floor. Surely she was seeing things, or maybe she was more drunk than she realized. There was no way–

“Surprise!” Nicky beamed, bouncing on the balls of her feet.