#i am not sober btw but yeah

[djs-horny-blog-lmao]

i have a filthy portal chelldos fic spinning so slowly in my brain that idk if i'll ever actually write but if i did would anyone be down for that

[ceolocunt]

[simpxxstan]

hi i would like to req cheol x fem!reader with the song you are in love by taylor swift. thank you!

congrats on 500 followers btw 🫶🏼

this is part of my 550 followers celebration event (closed now)!

thank you for this request, really hoping you like it! i'm not a swiftie so i was unsure of how to interpret the song prompt. hope i did it justice! posting very very late, thank you for being patient for so long <3 happy bday month to cheollie!!! i love him so much and this couple too. i think i might write a few more drabbles for them later lol

genre: coworkers to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff

word count: 3.3k words

warnings: reader is fwb with an oc (not seungcheol).

"you are in love!" your best friend says. "yeah, i know." you sigh, "that's why i've been ranting for so-" "no, silly! not with jay. you're in love with seungcheol!" you had laughed off her words, wondering if she'd become tipsy way too fast into your girls' night.

but when you're lying in your bed later that night, the thought lingers in your mind- the alcohol clearing up and making you progressively more sober as the cold air from the open window hits you, while your friend snores soundly next to you.

"think about it." "i am thinking ab-" "no, you've never really thought about this before. think about it clearly." you'd laughed heartily at her faux-wisdom, which always appeared after finishing two cans of beer.

but she's right. you have actually never thought about this. you've been so obsessed with getting jay to like you that you've never really given a second thought about seungcheol... and what he really means to you now.

"i'd expect more from a stats major and a data analyst, honestly. aren't you supposed to be logical and rigorous-" you slap her arm while doubling over with laughter, knowing full well that she's imitating the words of an infamous professor in your college. "i am being logical. we're just coworkers."

were you?

now that you think about it, certainly not. you're more than coworkers. more like friends. more like best friends. in fact, he's the closest friend you've made since your days in college. just coworkers don't buy each other their favourite drinks when the other has a bad day. just coworkers don't hang out for hours after work nearly every other day. just coworkers don't invite each other to parties with their separate friend groups. just coworkers don't have inside jokes that prevent you from forming friends with anyone else in the office.

your mind travels back to last thursday, when seungcheol had saved your ass for the nineteenth time this year when you'd arrived late by preventing the boss from noticing.

and the thursday before that, when seungcheol had dropped you home after he'd found out that jay had made you cry during an argument in the break room just before work got over.

and the thursday before that, when you'd gone with seungcheol to taste the menu at three different banquets because he was busy planning the wedding of his best friend, joshua, and needed an unbiased taster.

did just coworkers know everything about each other? including his dentist appointment's dates, the last time you went grocery shopping, the last time he went to watch a movie, the vitamin supplements you eat after breakfast, and so much more.

you smile in the darkness. no, you and seungcheol could never be just coworkers. you're best friends, nothing less of that.

but love?

ah, no. you'll bet your life on this one. you've been in love before. and what you feel for seungcheol is nothing like it.

_

your heart hammers in your chest as you ring the doorbell again, the weight of the melting cake heavy in your hand. you distinctly remember jay telling you that he'd be home tonight, then why wasn't he responding to his calls nor opening his door?

you're answered about twenty minutes later. you're sitting on the stairs in front of his flat when you hear him walking up the stairs... and there's someone else's voice too. a female voice.

"y/n?"

words get caught in your throat when you see mina, the new intern fresh out of a college, walking right beside him, arm looped in his, a hickey prominent on her neck, freshly bruised.

"why are you here?" she asks you, and you wince.

"i wanted to surprise you... for your birthday! sorry, i- i didn't know you had plans."

jay smiles as he looks at mina next to him, and pulls her closer. "no, mina actually surprised me too. and we went out dancing. sorry, have you been waiting for long? you should've call-"

"i did."

jay pulls out his phone and checks it. "oh shucks. you've been calling for the last twenty minutes," he takes a step forward and leans in to kiss your cheek, lightly. "you can join us for dinner? i'm sure mina won't mind." mina definitely minds, because she looks like she's going to shoot you down in a matter of seconds.

"nah, i'll just leave. happy birthday though. i can see you had a good one." would you be petty if you didn't give him the cake?

"sorry for making you wait for so long, y/n-ah."

one year and four months.

"no worries, man. enjoy your night. bye mina!" and you smile, like the stupid people-pleaser you are. at least you brought the cake with you.

_

"what's up?" seungcheol opens the door and you smell the heavenly aroma of fried noodles from his kitchen greet you.

"thank you for opening the door."

seungcheol raises an eyebrow at you. "why would i not open the door? you're literally-"

"yeah no, that's cause jay didn't. he went out with mina, it turns out." you stuff the cake into his fridge and stand next to him where he's cooking in a wok.

"mina? intern mina?"

"yeah. they made out too... so i'm guessing it wasn't friendly."

seungcheol scoffs. "mina joined, like, last week."

"two weeks."

"he switched you up for her although he's been with you for a year and a half."

"she's twenty-two, cheol. i'm pushing thirty. i'm not sexy anymore." you bite your lip as you look at the word puzzle in the newspaper on the coffee table. seungcheol doesn't reply immediately, so your heart sinks a little further. even if he doesn't subjectively find you sexy, he could just say it to console you. well, but it's a stretch to even expect that from-

"you're the sexiest woman i've ever met." seungcheol says, his voice softer, as he plops down next to you, holding two bowls filled with the fried noodles. he begins to eat wordlessly, legs propped up on the coffee table, almost inhaling the food. if you move your leg a little, your bodies would touch.

you don't reply. you can't reply. you start eating the food too, relishing the flavours in silence.

"want some more? there's more egg bits towards the bottom, i know you-"

"it doesn't matter if you think i'm the sexiest woman. clearly he doesn't."

"is jay the only person whose opinion matters?"

"are you really asking me that?"

"what i am asking you is that you've wasted one year and a half pining over a man who doesn't care for anything more than sex, and you still hope he's worth your time?"

your breath stutters. seungcheol's staring at you, and you feel shameful and self-conscious suddenly. all the fire and rage from your earlier comments dissipate and you sigh.

"you think i don't have a chance at all?"

"jay is an asshole, y/n. i think that you shouldn't care about him at all. but that's just what i think. my opinion doesn't ma-"

"shut the fuck up," you extend a hand to grab his wrist and make him look at you again.

seungcheol does look at you again but doesn't say anything.

"my best friend says i like you."

seungcheol's fork clatters in his bowl and you both turn to look at each other.

you have no idea why you say that. sure, it's been on your mind all day, all evening, and suddenly you feel like you're on your toes around him through the day. even when you two sat together at work, you'd become oddly conscious of his presence in your periphery, which has never occurred to you before.

"do you?"

and you have no idea why he says it either. in all the million possible options of things he could've said right now, you'd never imagined him asking this to you right on your face.

so you have nothing to say, except a very shaky, a very feeble, "i don't know."

_

the next day, two things happen.

first, seungcheol isn't talking to you. well, he is talking. but not properly. talking like could you press the elevator button or do you want some grapes or did you read the mail.

second, jay's talking to you a lot. he follows you into the break room and apologises again for standing you up on his birthday night.

"it's okay really. i hope you had a wonderful time with mina." you don't make eye contact, not really interested in listening to his whining, instead more focused on making the espresso you know that seungcheol craves during the afternoon.

"i... just wanted to clarify. there's nothing between us, you know. nothing going on." "you don't have to clarify that to me-" "i know. but still. wanted to know if it's all good between us." you push your tongue into your cheek to stop a curse from coming out. finally you pick up the two mugs of coffee and face him. "yes jay, all's good." jay smiles widely. "so are we on for the annual company dinner for this weekend?"

shit. you'd forgotten about that.

"umm-"

"but we go every year!" and jay throws you those puppy eyes that bring out the wrinkles next to his eyes that were the first reason you'd fallen for him.

it, surprisingly, doesn't make you feel weak in the knees.

"i'll confirm by tonight, okay? gotta go."

you head straight to seungcheol's desk and put down the cup of coffee on his desk, making him look up from his desktop.

"do you have a plus one for the company dinner?"

his eyes widen, and he responds after a moment's pause. "no. but-"

"will you come with me?"

"what?"

"will you be my plus one?"

"but you're going with jay?"

"who told you that?"

"you did, genius. that's all you could talk about on monday."

you cringe internally. you don't even know why you do that- talking so much about jay, thinking so much about jay, just... caring so much for him. is it a parasocial thing? like people crush on their celebrities and make imaginary daydreams about taking care of their crushes? because jay certainly hasn't recicprocated even a tenth of your affection.

or maybe it's because of the sex. it is natural for friends with benefits to end up liking each other. well, in your case, liking the other without the other liking you. perhaps it's the physical intimacy. perhaps it's the consolation that you may be pushing thirty but you're still attractive enough to be on the market. perhaps it's the attention he gives you during your hookups. and perhaps it's the lack of attention from anyon-

wait.

you don't have a lack of attention. you have friends.

so it's not the attention bit.

is it specifically male attention?

but seungcheol is male. and he gives you a lot of attention, but only as a friend. you may be the sexiest woman he's ever met but he would never hook up with you. he's way out of your league.

"i don't want to go with jay." you finally respond back, clicking your tongue.

"huh? isn't that like your dream?"

"seungcheol. don't push it."

"i'm the one pushing it? i tell you not to like him, and you're mad at me. i tell you to like him, and you're still mad at me. what am i supposed to say, y/n?" and he pouts. fucking pouts at you like a little boy who's not allowed to eat sweets, and your heart breaks into a million pieces. you know he's not even trying to fake his cuteness (like jay does sometimes) and yet there's something so adorable about him right now that makes you want to-

fuck.

"just answer me, cheol. please. yes or no?"

"when have i ever said no to you?"

your mouth twists as you nod. he hasn't. ever said no to you.

"i'll tell jay i'll be going with you then."

you turn around to walk away, but seungcheol pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up close to his chest so that you have to tilt your head up to talk to him. "what?"

"is this some let's make jay jealous mission?"

"what?!" your eyes go wide and you scoff.

"of course NOT. what do you think i am? i'm not that desperate."

seungcheol sighs.

"whatever you say, darling."

_

seungcheol looks as good as ever when he comes around to pick you up and drive you to the company dinner that weekend.

"red suits you," he says, taking in the dress you've brought out from your mother's closet specially for this event. this dress is made to impress. it's the dress your mom wore at the party where she met your dad for the first time, and you've heard from dad countless times how enchanting she looked in the dress. you're hoping you'll do the dress half the justice, but clearly you haven't inherited your mother's body proportions, so it doesn't look as good as it did on her. and yet, the plunging sweetheart neckline allows you to wear pretty accessories that you hardly get to wear to work. it is really a dress to impress. somehow, something inside you wants to impress.... someone. and for some reason, you don't think it's jay.

the car ride is silent. it's extremely uncomfortable because you don't remember the last time you spent ten minutes in the same space as seungcheol without talking to him. you knew you shouldn't have raised the my friend thinks i like you shit. but you've raised it and now you can't go back. his question still lingers in your mind, and it feels like a challenge.

do you like him?

when you look at him in the moonlight, his jawline is shaved clean and his hair is slicked off his forehead. it's not like you've never realised before this how handsome seungcheol is. in fact, it was the one of the first things you'd noticed about him. he's got an aura about him that's so attractive from the outside. but as you grew closer to him, the attraction somewhat wore off into a casual comfort... where you can exist in the same space with him without double taking at his beautiful smile or wondering why his dimples are so cute.

but that's not to say that his appeal is lost on you.

under the moonlight, he looks godly.

''i heard jay's going with mina." he finally tells you when he parks into the parking lot.

"good for them." he looks at you and cocks an eyebrow, and you shrug.

you're about to open the door and step out, but he quickly grabs your hand across the car, and pulls you inside.

"umm. y/n, i don't know what you're doing. but i- whatever i said that day- look, i don't like jay because i think he's rude to you? but apart from that i'm sure he's a great guy and you should like him if you want to. and i have no right to say anything about it-"

"what?" you're so confused by his little monologue.

"sorry i'm saying this poorly. what i mean is, please don't let what i said that night make you avoid jay or anything."

"this isn't about that."

"it's not?" he tilts his head in query.

"no. this isn't about how i feel about jay."

"it's not?" he asks you again, his face more confused. you're tempted to smile at the cute confusion on his features, but you know it'll make him mad for spoiling this serious moment.

"this is about how i feel about you."

_

seungcheol does not utter any more words to you after that. there's still a very prominent confusion on his face, but he masks it well with his natural charm.

but you're not confused at all for once. everything seems to become clear to you with 100% HD clarity. for some reason, it all makes sense now. why your best friend thinks you're in love with seungcheol.

because you've never been in love before.

you've always fallen for the toxic type of person, like jay. relationships that are more about hookups and drunken fights than emotional bonds and care. and your past experience has made you feel that love is nothing smooth. it's always been a rocky path for you. push and pull, where you're both pushed around and pulled to meet to other's conveniences.

but being with seungcheol is so... different.

there's no loneliness. no push and pull, no compromise. only laughter and memories. he makes you smile you more than any of your love interests have made you smile. he makes you laugh ever so often. he takes care of you when you're sick. he cooks for you whenever he comes over because you can't cook to save your life. he wrote you a birthday card. he bought matching t-shirts from a thrift store because you both happened to like the design. right now, when you see the way he's talking to another colleague, his pretty lips articulating every word clearly, your heart warms with fondness. a stray hair sticks out, and you fix it back. he doesn't notice. or he pretends not to. when jay comes around within your periphery, he pulls you closer, and you can't help but smile again. something about everything he does is so endearing.

it's not a eureka moment.

and yet, it feels good to feel love for real for the first time of your life. you can die tonight happily, knowing you're capable of real love. because you know you do love seungcheol. for all his pouty tantrums and all his whining complaints, you love him the most in the world right now, and you simply cannot imagine choosing a life without him.

"do you want to dance?"

seungcheol's been deliberately avoiding eye contact, but now he looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights.

"no."

you giggle at the sudden reply. "why?" his frown deepens, and you tug at his lips with your fingers. "you don't look good when you frown." "it doesn't matter." "it does." "no one's looking at me." "no one's looking at me either." "shut up. jay's boring holes into your dress with the way he's ogling you." seungcheol's face flares up, and you're mildly amused. "and what about the boy i want to ogle?" "huh?" "you. you're so handsome, cheol." his eyes unfocus from jay and back at you, his eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

"what are you doing, y/n? why are you playing with my heart?"

"i'm not, though? i'm just telling you how i feel."

"and how's that?"

"i feel like dancing with you under the moonlight. i feel like going on a long drive with you. i feel like hugging you on the warmth of your couch until we fall asleep. i've never done these things, seungcheol, will you come with me?"

"never danced? fuck, you're not being treated right."

and he shows you. he takes you to the centre of the hall area, where the roof's glass so that it's slightly isolated from the result of the expanse, and the moonlight's shining in like a spotlight. there are only a few people dancing there, mostly couples. but seungcheol and you dance at the very centre, lost in each other's eyes, forgetting that this is a public place. it doesn't matter. nothing does. except him.

you are in love, your best friend's voice floats into your mind. and you smile as you look into seungcheol's eyes, realising she was right all along.

so you tell him.

"i love you, cheol."

seungcheol stutters in his step for a second. but it doesn't matter. your pace was anyway too slow. he pulls you closer against his chest, and cups your cheek with one hand. "what's that?"

"i told you this night's about you. and i've realised it now. i am in love."

and when seungcheol kisses you later that night, you're downright thankful you've finally realised your feelings. because how did you ever think you'd survive without his cherry kisses?

[hitomisuzuya]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUZU, GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK🥳🎉🎉🎉 Btw more roommate Scara plz?👀💕Like, roommate Scaramouchii confessed to us while he's not sober. Maybe a little jealousy in that...?

Roommate! Scaramouche x fem!reader. Jealous, drunk love confession. What do I tag this as? I tagged it as smut because of one sentence.

I had a stressful day, so writing this is helping me unwind a little.

When it came to living with someone like Scaramouche, it came with constant parties. Tonight was no different.

Because it was. Childe was there. And Scaramouche swore he drank more every time he saw you smile up at him. Or laugh at something he said. Or how you blushed when he tucked some hair behind your ear.

He drank more every second you were devoting your attention to Childe instead of him. Why were you even smiling at him, anyways? He was all you needed because he was right here, not Childe.

Scaramouche's eyes watched you intently as you went about cleaning up after the party. He made a huffy noise. "Leave that shit, I'll get in the morning," He grumbled.

"No, it's okay," You shook your head, waving a hand at him when he tried to get up. You knew he was drunk. You'd indulged a little yourself, but near as much as he had.

"Stop, just stop," He snapped, making you look at him, startled.

"Scara, I'm just cleaning..what is the matter?" He'd been acting off all night, and you couldn't put your finger on why.

"No, just, ugh, that's not what I meant," Scaramouche pinched the bridge of his noise, and decided to try again. His head was spinning, and you just standing there looking beautiful like you always were.

He wanted you so badly.

And you were patient with him too, which most people weren't. You quietly waited for him to gather himself. "Why do you give you even give that ginger shithead any attention?"

"Childe?" You questioned, to which he nodded.

"Yeah, him," You could hear the strained jealousy in his slurred speech. Your cheeks flushed. Was he jealous that you had spent most of the evening with Childe while he sulked in the corner like a cat who got sprayed with water?

"You should've been spending that time with me. You should've been by my side all night and not his," The slurred words can tumbling out before he could hear them, inebriation giving him courage.

"Scara.." You began, but he quickly shushed you.

"Don't talk until I am finished," He snapped, his posture stiffening when you gave him a look. He knew that look, "please," He mumbled, hastily looking away.

"How should I put this?" Scaramouche murmured more to himself before looking at you again, "listen up because I am only going to say this once. I hated every time you smiled at him. I hated every time you looked at him. Because I want those smiles to be for only me."

Your heart was starting to pound in your chest. Where the words that you wanted to hear the most about to come from him, the very ones you'd been afraid to tell him? You didn't dare interrupt him because it could ruffle his feathers and make him shut down completely.

"I am in love with you," Saying it was easier than he expected. He finished what was left of his drink, peering at you from over the top of the glass. He sighed before you could speak. "Can you c'mere? I kind of can't stand up to come to you," His cheeks flushed, looking away shyly.

You put a hand on his cheek as you sat down next to him on the couch. "I hope you are going to either kiss me or tell me you love me to," Little did you know he was swallowing his heart in his throat to.

You did what you thought what was the better option first. You leaned in and kissed him. He was glad you did because it almost slipped out how he should outside your bedroom listening to you moan his name while you fingered yourself.

He sighed softly against your mouth. He was pleased with your answer. The kiss quickly turned heated and open mouthed as he pushed you down onto the couch.

"I'm in love with you to, Scara," You said when he reluctantly pulled away. His head immediately dropped into your neck, nuzzling against it as he sighed, content.

You blinked, confused when he didn't say anything. That was because he fell asleep with his face buried in your neck.

[blackholelynn]

I DO NOT KNOW IF YOU TAKE REQUEST BUT I SAW UR WRITING FOR TWILIGHT AND IM BEGGING YOU, CAN YOU DO LIKE THE READER GETS DRUNK N EDWARD HAS TO TAKE CARE OF THEM OR SOMETHING !! I LOVEE YOUR WRITING BTW

Princess Carriage

Summary: You have a few too many drinks while out with Angela and Jessica, leaving Edward to be the one to take care of you while you sober up.

Pairings: Edward Cullen x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol/drinking

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: Thank you so much for this request! I ended up getting caught up in some stuff irl which meant I couldn't finish the Twilight Appreciation Week event that I was hoping to keep doing, but I will take any excuse to write more for Twilight! And I am finding myself loving writing for Edward!! So I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it 🥰

~~~

Bass boomed around you, filling your chest with a dull thrum at every beat. The lights above you pulsated with different colors. Your arms felt sticky with a mix of sweat and whatever had spilled on the bar earlier in the night. The small glass pinched between your fingers held a pink liquid that you didn’t remember the name of, but it tasted like sweet berries and nothing like alcohol. That might have been why you had drunk three or four in the last hour without a second thought.

The sound of garbled speech hit your ears, and you turned in bewilderment to Jessica, standing beside you with a large grin. “What?!” You had to scream to be heard over the music.

“I said!” she started, grabbing your glass out of your hand. “I think you’ve had enough.”

A childish pout formed on your lips as you reached for the glass, but no matter how many times you thought you had grabbed it, you must have missed it by an inch. “Please! I paid for that!”

“Actually, a guy paid for it before getting shot down so hard I thought he might cry.”

“I’m taken, but that doesn’t mean I won’t accept a free drink.”

Jessica tried to stifle her giggle to remain stern but failed. “Okay, I’m just as guilty. But seriously.” She regained her disciplined facade as she put the drink back down on the bar and hooked her arm with yours. “I think it’s time to get some bad food and call it a night.”

You hadn’t realized how drunk you were until the mention of food made your stomach do a backflip, and you shook your head adamantly. “Maybe we just go home.”

“Yeah, I think that’s for the best. Let’s go get Ange and blow this place.”

You followed closely on Jessica’s very high heels, making sure to keep a hold of her. The staggering amount of people you had to walk through hadn’t fazed you before, but now that your head was spinning, it felt like walking through a fun house.

When you reached Angela, your head was swimming so much that you couldn’t concentrate on what your two friends were saying to each other. You only registered Angela’s relief at the prospect of leaving, and then you were all bee-lining it to the exit.

Once you got outside, the cool air quelled the nausea that started crawling up your throat. Angela and Jessica helped you into the passenger seat, and it was obvious to them how awful you were feeling. Jessica got in the back seat behind you and put her hands on your shoulders.

When Angela started the car, she quickly glanced in your direction. “Are you feeling alright?”

You silently shook your head, groaning a bit when the motion caused your nausea to come back. A rustling noise came from the backseat before Jessica handed you a plastic bag.

“Always prepared,” Angela quipped with a sheepish smile.

You leaned your head back against the headrest as the car started moving. “Thank god for that.”

Angela dropped Jessica off first, considering her house was the closest of the two. However, when she started turning around in the driveway, you realized that you shouldn’t go back to your house like this. You were sure that your house would be in an uproar if you arrived home close to being blackout drunk, and in the spur of the moment, you made an alternative decision.

“Ange,” you started, still hesitant about the choice. “Do you mind driving me to Edward’s place?”

She stopped mid-turn, raising an eyebrow at you. “Are you sure? I don’t know…”

“I don’t want to go home like this.” Seeing she was still not convinced, you added, “And I know he wouldn’t do anything. I’ll even call him to make sure it’s alright.”

She took some time to contemplate before she relented and nodded. You pulled out your phone and called Edward, already having him on your speed dial. It only rang once before he picked up.

“Is something wrong?” His voice seemed erratic, and you could only imagine what was running through his head. You had never once called him at this hour of the night.

“No,” you assured him, “I just wanted to know if it was alright if Ange drove me to your house. We were…out. I don’t want to go home.”

The silence signaled that he had the whole situation figured out. It wouldn’t be hard, considering your slurred speech. His lack of response started to create dread within you. Was he upset? How could he be upset with you for having fun?

“Do you need me to get anything for you? How are you feeling?” But he wasn’t upset. His voice was tender and soft as he asked.

You let out a small sigh of relief. “No, you don’t need to get anything. I’ll feel better when I see you. Ange is driving me there now.”

“I’ll meet you both at the end of the driveway and drive you the rest of the way.”

“That’s probably for the best.” You were about to hang up before you tacked on, “Thank you for this. I love you.”

He let out a light-hearted chuckle on the other end. “Anytime. I love you too.”

Your head felt airy when you hung up your phone, holding it to your chest with a dopey grin. The car started moving again, slowly inching towards the road.

Finally, Angela spoke up. “I’m taking it I can drive you over there?”

“Yeah, he’ll meet us at the end of the driveway. Oh, take a left here.”

Angela heeded your directions, and you couldn’t miss the smile on her face. “I’m glad you have him. You practically light up just by talking to him on the phone.”

You sheepishly put your hands up to obscure your face. You were sure you still looked like someone in an ad for a dating app with how wide your grin was. It wasn’t anything that could be helped, though. Edward always had that effect on you.

You continued to give directions (the best you could, considering how drunk you were), and after only a few wrong turns, you managed to pull up to the Cullens’ driveway, where Edward’s silver Volvo sat waiting for you like a carriage. He wasted no time coming to your door and helping you out into the cold night, thanking Angela profusely.

“Just make sure she’s sober enough for our brunch tomorrow, or Jessica will kill me,” Angela pleaded through her open window.

You gave her a weak thumbs up with the arm that wasn’t clutching Edward’s middle for dear life. With that, she seemed assured enough to drive back onto the road and into the night.

Lowering yourself into the Volvo, you looked at Edward with a smile, “You’re my knight in shining armor.”

“I would give that honor to Angela since she got you here safely, but I’ll settle for being your prince,” he answered cheekily. He kissed the tip of your nose as he leaned over to buckle your seatbelt.

You snorted and swatted him on the shoulder. “Don’t get too far ahead of yourself. You’re making me want to take back all the nice things I was going to say about you.”

“I could drive you home inste–”

“No! Nope, you’re absolutely the best anyone could ask for. Just get in here and drive so I can sleep.”

He laughed and got into the driver’s side of the car. The short ride back up to the Cullens’ house was long enough that you started to nod off, so when the car stopped, you didn’t even want to get up.

Edward opened the door for you, and he effortlessly scooped you into his arms when he saw your drowsiness. “You’re acting like a cranky child. You know that, right?”

“Mmm,” you muttered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. “Don’t care.”

“I don’t even want to imagine your headache tomorrow morning.”

At this point, his amused words fell on mostly deaf ears as you fell deeper asleep in his arms. You didn’t even register how fast he had you into bed, with mere seconds passing before you were safely tucked away under the covers.

He was just about to leave to get you a glass of water when you clutched his shirt sleeve. “Don’t go.”

“I won’t be long. I promise.”

“You better,” you mumbled, reluctantly letting go. It was always interesting that he would let you hold him still, and he didn’t just break free from your grasp. He could do it easily enough no matter how hard you held on, but nevertheless, he would always stay until you let go.

Edward was only gone for the time it took you to blink, and he was back in the room, setting down the glass of water and a bottle of over-the-counter pain medication on the nightstand beside you. “I always keep my promises.”

“Yeah, just shut up and cuddle.” You pulled your arms out from under the comforter to make grabby hands at him. You were sure you looked ridiculous, but you couldn’t be bothered at that moment. Honestly, it was a miracle you were still awake and coherent.

He didn’t protest or say anything else, aside from laughing a bit, and crawled into the bed beside you. He made sure to lay above the comforter in the hopes that it would keep him from making you too cold throughout the night. You draped your arm over his middle and latched onto him before immediately falling asleep.

And he was right. Your headache the following day was truly awful. It had to have been the headache from hell because you could hear everything as soon as you woke up. And all that noise hurt worse than anything you’d felt in a long time.

He noticed as soon as you stirred in your sleep, noting the scrunched up expression on your face. “What’s wrong, love?”

“Headache,” you rasped out. You didn’t realize how dry your mouth was until you tried to talk. Before you could ask, Edward handed you the glass of water he had prepared the night before. The cool liquid soothed your throat instantly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And here, take some of these.” He gently laid two pills into your hand. “Those should help with the headache.”

You quickly took them, grimacing once they were down. “I don’t think I want to get out of bed at all.” You reached across him to set the glass back on the nightstand before deciding that you’d like to stay like that, so you laid across him lazily. “Everything hurts.”

“Too much alcohol will do that,” he teased, rubbing your temples with his cold fingers. The relief was instant, and he had a self-satisfied smirk on his face after your hum of approval. “You do remember that you have brunch with Angela and Jessica?”

You groaned and turned over onto your back, turning your face towards him. “I don’t want to go. Jessica’s the one that dragged me out last night.”

“I don’t think it’s fair to blame her for how drunk you got.”

You frowned but conceded, “No…it’s not. But I still don’t want to go.”

“Angela was adamant about me getting you to that brunch.” When he still hadn’t convinced you, he added, “I can drive you there.”

“In the Volvo?”

“Yes, in the Volvo.”

You playfully pretended to think about it. “Hmm…so you’re telling me I get to spend extra time with you and show up in an expensive car? I don’t know…”

“Come on,” he chuckled, picking you up as he escaped from the warm confines of the bed. You giggled as his cold hands held your waist, and he set you down in front of the dresser that had some of your clothes in it. “Get dressed, so I don’t have those two angry with me.”

You laughed even harder at that statement. “You’re afraid of Angela and Jessica? You?”

“Yes,” he answered with finality. “They’re intimidating.”

You both were now laughing before Edward finally calmed down enough to leave the room, allowing you to change. You opened a drawer of the dresser, your drawer, and picked out the outfit you wanted to wear for the day. Your whole body still felt like you’d gotten hit by a truck, but you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. Even when you overdid it, Edward was always right there by your side. Through thick or thin, he was there. How had you gotten so lucky?

The honk of the Volvo’s honk snapped you out of your daze, and you looked out the window to see Edward leaning against the car. When he saw you through the window, he motioned towards the car as though it were a carriage. You rolled your eyes and made your way downstairs, endlessly happy. Edward truly was your prince, although getting you to admit it to him would take a bit more work.

[easybrainrot34]

🖼️Lil Benedict Bridgerton Headcanons Pt 2🖼️

Woohoo part 2 baby!! Part 1 is right here! Some of these are modern!AU some of these are Regency era. As I said before I am truly a ✨slut✨ for this man. Hope y’all enjoy 😊

All r fluff and crack. Bonus Polin Headcanon ❤️

🎨= modern!AU

🎻= Renaissance era

🎨🎻= either

Also mentioned : Colin, Anthony, Kathony, Queer!Eloise, Gregory, and Polin

Ps, my ask and request r open :)

🎨 He went on a gap year before college to travel the world. He went kinda everywhere but he’s not one of those people that’s pretentious and has to talk about it all the time (no shade Colin, he’s more of an excited puppy about where he’s been anyway)

🎨 During cov!d he really honed in on his skills as an artist but also got really into skincare and hair care. Now he does a whole curly hair care routine because even though I can see him keeping his hair on the shorter side, he still likes it to have a little body.

🎨🎻 He would never admit it to Anthony (at least sober) but he wants the love that Kate and Anthony have for each other. He is such a hopeless romantic and I think he wants nothing more in this world than to find someone he feels he truly can’t live without.

🎻 Now we all know Benedict goes to balls more out of family obligation than actually wanting to, but I truly feel like once he’s married, he wants you to throw balls every season. He loves being able to show you off and what better setting them a ball with you as the person of honor. I also feel like he would enjoy throwing balls/parties for his more artistic, not part of the ton friends.

🎨 Now let’s say this is a modern AU where Eloise is a lesbian and our dear Ben is bisexual. I feel like when Eloise came out to him and said “I’m gay” he said, with no hesitation “you too?” I feel like the next day this man would just barge into her place with a gift bag full of Girl in Red, Chappell Roan, and Raneé Rapp albums, a pride flag, and a Carabiner. She would give him the “these are all stereotypes” lecture, but truly she appreciates it.

🎨🎻 I feel like he is very weak willed when it comes to his nieces and nephews. Like he is the favorite uncle, yes it took him bribing the kiddos, and yes he has no shame about it. He would stay firm with them (respecting the majority of set rules) but he will let them get away with small things. It will take him having his own kiddos to understand where everyone is coming from. (trust & believe that the siblings take their revenge)

🎨 He’s weak for a sundress. Weather it’s a cute little flower print, or a simple solid color, he just loves a little flowy sundress. I can’t explain it. It’s just this man’s weakness. (Btw this is what I mean when I say sundress, because apparently the Internet is having a debate about this right now lol)

🎻 Y’all remember when people were painting on each other’s bodies during Covid? Yeah he would do that. I feel like he would very much use u as a canvas during yall’s honeymoon. I feel like it would also end in a little ✨spicy time✨

🎨 While I can really see this man not giving a fck about whether he is fit or not I feel like as he starts to get a little bit older (late 30s early 40s) he would sign up for the gym. I feel like this will be a combination of him wanting to, but also Anthony, Colin, and Gregory would tease him about getting a “dad bod”. He knows though that you love it so he wouldn’t try to get too fit, just enough to be a little toned.

🎨🎻BONUS🎻🎨

He has such a fondness for Pen. This man is in her corner, if her and Colin get into a fight he automatically is taking her side. If he sees Cressida doing some shady sh!t he’s calling her out right then and there. I also feel once Colin and Pen announce their engagement, he would go to her and say “I’m sorry it took him so long to realize what we all knew” AHHH I JUST KNOW HE SHIPS POLIN!!!

[trashiewrites]

More girlboss ghost's wife plz 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

HAHAHAHAH!!!! MORE BAD BITCHING AND I LOVEE IT!! btw for those who have sent in requests, I am doing them in the order I get them! I don't have that many but work has been killing me recently!

Don't Fuck with That~

Ghost x F!Reader (Never really mentioned gender-wise)

Rating: B for Boss Bitch

Warnings: Harsh language to women, and alcohol? yeah

Words: 1150

One thing you may expect about the life of a mother of two is chaos, especially with your husband gone for long periods of time. It's a lot, you will admit. Yet, you bring the Bad Bitch you were and made it looks like child's play. To be honest, you didn't know how the fuck you did it yourself, but you managed! After a month or so you do start to lose your mind, saying that you barely have any free time after handling things. Luckily you have the best husband ever!

On days when Simon would return home after a mission, the first thing he does is take the kids to go see your family! Or if that isn't available, he'll ask the boys to babysit for the night. Usually, Soap loves to babysit the little monsters. In any case, the kids are out of your hair! Simon takes this to have you go buck wild wherever you want. This time you chose to relax and have drinks at a dive bar! Nothing is more distressing than the one day you can pump yourself with your favorite alcohol!

Simon, during this time, stays relatively sober just to watch the chaos unravel. You being drunk is what he calls a spectacle. "You know Simon," you looked over at him taking another swig of your glass, "how did you of all people end up with such rowdy sperm monsters??" You growled as you leaned upon the table. Simon chuckled, sipping some more whiskey.

"I don't know," he placed his glass down, "why don't you ask their mother?"

"Yeah, you're right!" your face lit up for a mere moment before fully taking in his words, "wait a fucking minute you bastard! I'm their mother!!" 

"Exactly," He took another sip, "Look at yourself, I love you but those rascals get it all from you." Simon chuckled before looking back to see you gulping another glass. 

"Bartender, another glass for me please!" You spoke in a mopey tone, "Imma need more to drink away the sorrow of my husband's harsh but true words!" Having said that, you burst into laughter. Leaning against your husband's shoulder as you tried to grasp your breath. Simon shook his head, leaning his head upon yours. 

"Honestly, what do I do with you." He chuckled as the bartender motioned that this was your last drink. Wasting no time, you took a large gulp; letting out a refreshing sigh you flashed Simon a content smile. "Enjoy that drink, It's your last." You placed your hand over your mouth, so close to spitting out your precious booze. You leaned your head back downing what you had in your mouth. 

"Says who!" You clutched to Simon in desperation, "How could you deprive me of my only day off!" Simon finished his glass, motioning for another. He pointed to himself; the bartender nodded.  "How come you get another!"

"One, the bartender. Two, I'm going to be here for a bit." Simon nodded as he swapped his old glass for a newly filled one, "Lastly, cause I'm not nearly as drunk as you." You huffed in defeat, despite being hammered, you could tell you were HAMMERED. You downed the rest of your glass, standing up from your seat. 

"Imma head to the restroom," you kissed his cheek and left. Simon took a moment to look around. Most things you'd see in a bar were there; The noisy folk, the drunk asleep in the back corner, and groupies of all varieties. One thing caught his eye, more like he had caught their eye if anything. A group of ladies whispered among themselves as they looked over to one of them and then back to him. Not necessarily an uncommon sight for him, saying he is fairly attractive without his mask on. Yet he looked away, paying no heed to the group and returning to his drink. Surely no one is stupid to hit on him seeing he had been hanging with you this whole time... keyword he thought...

"Hey, there Handsome," a voice called out next to him. He ignored it despite no one being on the other side. Until sadly, someone poked his shoulder. "I'm speaking to you sir; can I buy you a drink? " Simon sighed, a frown staining his face. 

"No thanks, for your sake you should leave; I'm happily married." 

"To that wreck? Oh, honey, I can show you a real woman." the woman cackled as she leaned closer, "I can rock your world baby; just give me a chance. ~" she spoke in a seductive whisper into Simon's ear. He placed his hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her away. 

"One last time, it's best if you leave." 

"Oh, come one, leave with me, baby!" She beckoned, "you'll send those papers after one night with me, trust me. ~" 

"I wouldn't fuck with that if I were you," Simon turned to face you, "you must be blind 'cause I'm sure you and your group of whores knew he was mine." Your eyes flared with anger. You cracked your knuckles, leaning your head to the side with a cynical smirk. The women slowly turned around, seeing the demon incarnate festering with glaring eyes that could kill. She went pale as a ghost, "Now, I suggest you turn tail to your groupie before I shove something in those open legs of yours that you won't find pleasurable."  The woman gulped loudly, comedically loud. Rushing off to return to her little gang, you laughed loudly as you watched her run, "Go on run faster bitch; pick a better target next time!" You sent a kiss in her direction and returned your gaze to your husband whose eyes were on you the entire time, admiring you with a soft grin. "Liked the show?" 

"I believe that's your best performance yet." You walked to him, and instead of sitting in your seat next to him, you sat promptly on his lap. He wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder, "Extremely attractive, if I may add; Despite all these years, you continue to amaze me, dove."

"Can I have one more drink then?" you turned to face him, hitting him with big puppy eyes. Simon sighed, never one to give in to puppy eyes, yet perhaps today will be his exception. 

"Fine," He motioned for two more, "last one, so enjoy it." You cheered happily, grabbing Simon's cheeks and giving him a big smooch. 

"Thank you, thank you! You're the best husband ever, Simon!!" You hugged him tightly; in response, he rubbed your back, "I love you so much, Simon..." You spoke softly. 

"I love you too, (y/n)," he whispered in return. Taking his glass in hand and handing you yours, "Cheers?" You stared down at your glass and then back to him with a warm smile, both sharing that longing for each other. 

"Cheers." 

[devilbeez]

Headcanon collection #14

Random FloydxRiddle fluff

Riddle’s weak to Floyd doing the hold hand kiss the knuckles thing

Riddle some time question if dropping his mom out of his life as the right choice and Floyd just take his hand and kiss his knuckle because he can see Riddle was worried and Riddle just “you know what? Yes. Yes it was the right choice—“

“I can show you the world~ top shelf, pantry, no tip toe” — Floyd @ Riddle at some point probably

When the boys are old enough to try alcohol the third years were supervising and they told them “your limit is one drink” and because Riddle had no experience he thought he could just chug the bottle in one go, so obviously he got drunk and it’s the one time Floyd the responsible one between the two and take care of Riddle. With that being said tho Floyd still would draw on on Riddle face with sharpie

Riddle did not handle his first time being drunk well and end up being chaotic, he even chase Floyd for a change

Riddle being Riddle there probably things he never say sober or just— generally complimenting Floyd and saying couple like stuff so when he’s drunk there just random slip of “you have beautiful eyes” and Floyd capture every moment of it and he refuse to delete it

Riddle and Floyd date would be at like festival date it just make sense and I can’t explain

Speaking of festivals date, Floyd won Riddle an Eel plush and now he have something that represents Floyd in his room. Eventually Riddle won him a goldfish plush so now there just a special space in both their room for those plushes. They both insist on calling the plushies their children

That btw is what cause Riddle to spiral down plushies hole Floyd got him more plushies this time hedgehog ones

Floyd message Riddle during class from time to time and Riddle going through the corruption arc and not as strict with rules now sometimes replies. But there are time he doesn’t want to respond cause you know class and there are time when Floyd so excited about something so you just have

Floyd: GOLDFISHY LOOK

Riddle: I’ll do it later I’m in class

Floyd: I GOT A NEW SHOES LOOK AT IT

Riddle: good for you but I am in class

Floyd: LOOK AT IT GOLDFISHY IT SO COOL—

Riddle: I A M I N C L A S S

Floyd sometimes messaging Riddle like “this pebble remind me of you 🥰” Riddke keep all of the pebbles. He never been gifted something before especially it’s his mom so now he keep everything Floyd give him

Trey: …riddle is that a rock?

Riddle: huh— oh that’s Rockington jr. Yeah I use him as paperweight sometimes leave him there

Trey: …I’m sorry I still stuck on the fact that it have a name and it’s “Rockington Junior”

Riddle: yeah Rockington senior is over there by Floyd Jr.

Trey: ….Riddle that an eel plush

Riddle: I never said I’m the one naming it— blame Floyd—

This video. That is all

After they get together Floyd take Riddle to petting zoo for his birthday. He say it’s for Riddle cause he love small animals like hedgehogs but in reality it both for Riddle and for him to meet his goat friend Sir Wayne Georgia Wellington the third

Riddle’s mom hate Floyd because let’s be honest just as friends Floyd is already a bad influence, but as boyfriend there will be no turning back for Riddle. Literally the only thing holding them all back is his love for rule. And even that doesn’t hold them back that much considering Riddle have becoming more and more chill with the rules

They once made the mistake of sitting down and having family dinner with Riddle’s mom and eventually at some point Floyd or literally anyone snap and went on a rant like “—AND ANOTHER THING YOU SHOULD APPRECIATE HIM MORE BECAUSE HE’S AMAZING AS HE IS, AND ANOTHER THING YOU’RE NEED TO LOWER YOUR STANDARDS, AND ANOTHER THING—“ and it just keep going, no one stop him they just sit there eating their meal like “huh this place have nice salad”

Most people would think Riddle the one taking their first valentines seriously and .Floyd just don’t really care when it’s the opposite. Floyd want to do everything and even try and planned stuff for the day with Jade and Azul help cause he thought Riddle would be all over this since “rule of valentines and stuff” while Riddle barely planned anything out cause either 1. He never really care for valentines and don’t get why couples like it 2. He just straight up forgot it’s valentines cause he don’t have it in his calendar or 3. He thought Floyd wouldn’t really wanna celebrate so he just expected to spend their day like usual and maybe go on a regular date-hang out and not date date

Adding to this, because Riddle didn’t expect a date he almost go with Floyd in his school uniform then Cater pull him away and tell Floyd to wait. This lead to Trey and ADeuce messing around like “what is your intention with my son?”

Riddle’s mom think Floyd come on to Riddle as friends or boyfriend for the money. But then we cut to this mf Only wanting to buy shoes on some occasions and only want to ever buy tiny ducks to mess with Azul. Like

Mrs. Riddle: he probably want our money

Floyd with his new shoes and lil ducklings: and I’ll call you goldfish Jr. and you Ducklia, and you will be Tako because Azul would hate that—

Riddle only stole hoodie because man read somewhere it what couple do but he like it so much because they comfy Floyd no longer have hoodies— they just all at Heartslayul

Because the lounge being you know basically a restaurant, they need to decorate for stuff and sometime they need to buy things so they rotate between every members for decoration shopping in the town and one time Floyd was assigned the role and invited Riddle cause Riddle rarely get out and it basically go

Floyd: come on it’ll be fun!

Riddle: I don’t know—

Floyd: here talk to Azul he’d cover for your work if you say it to supervise me

Riddle: no he wouldn’t he know you responsible enough

Floyd: does he? Does he really?

Riddle: ……*call azul* hey so I’m here with Floyd he said he’s going to go into town and I was thinking—

Azul: he need supervision? Agree, I’ll cover your work thank *hang up*

Riddle: ……well show me the town I guess—

Riddle one time went out with the shirt Floyd made him wear saying “cunt era” first he didn’t wanna but as day went on he got over it and just vibing. And then his mother somehow find out and about to start lecturing, out of pure being done, I give no fuck mix with couldn’t change personality in time moment he went “I don’t approved of your parenting and you don’t see me complaining” And that the story of how Riddle moved out of the house at 17–

they adopted 2 kids in the future a set of twins merfolk and fate have it so that the kids are octopus merfolk so as soon as Floyd know he just shaking from excitement cause Azul gonna be so happy. A couple of years later it backfired and Azul keep saying he gonna steal the kid cause one time the kid saw Azul merform and got so excited cause he’s just like them

Kid: will I get to see uncle azul merform? :D

Floyd: probably not kid, he doesn’t like—

Azul, in his merform: please don’t answer for me Floyd

Kid: *shaking from excitement and have the brightest smile anyone ever seen* UNCLE AZUL IS LIKE MEE!!

Azul also spoiled them rotten btw, he love his niece/nephew so much and Riddle got so much headache from it

Leaning into my ship here but I like to believe Azul brought Riddle and Floyd kids one of those kids instrument that doesn’t have a lower volume button. Jade just give them a teddy bear…..that have a voice box and a button on its hand and the voice line is “I love uncle Azul and uncle Jade more than everyone else” Floyd think it’s funny and Riddle hated it so much— he haven’t been in a quiet house in days—

When Riddle moved out and was about to send her a gift but Floyd the chaos skyscraper intercept it and gift her like a bunch of things that say stuff like “worst mom ever” “fuck you whore” “⬆️ Karen”

Floyd don’t say Riddle’s name often but when he does he do it in private and in intimate moments like saying “I love you”, proposing etc and it melt Riddle every time. His name being said by Floyd is one of those things that he love and couldn’t explain why

[mrsjavierp]

Where You Belong?

Chapter 7 - Torture

Javier Peña x latin!f!reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the whole fic): +18!, angst, smut, cheating, last relationships, drug dealing - Narcos Universe (not so accurate), bad spanish, english is my second language, use of Y/N and Y/LN. No physical description of the reader, only your clothes (sometimes). The POVs are shifting between reader (first person and Narrator - 3rd person)

(If I forgot anything, tell me, pls!)

Word Count: 2,6k

A/N: I'd love to know about you're thinking about it so far! Your opinion is really important! Tks <3 Btw, I'm tagging @pedrostories! Babe, let's show'em why we're so much in love for that man!

Obs: Oops, I did a "past x present situation" again, so, anytime you see something written like this, is past. If not, it's just Javi's memory about the night he won't (and can't) forget... And neither can you, reader <3 Let's be honest, how would we forget a night like that?

***

Narrator's POV:

Javier went to see how Steve was doing, after Connie left.

The apartment was a mess, with empty bottles all over.

If ever Steve were sober, it was before his girls went back to Miami.

He was so depressed... Made Javier think about his family as well, but in a different way: if it was him and Lorraine, would he try to do some or anything?

Steve sniffed and cleared his throat, handing Javier a beer, bringing him back from his thoughts.

"Have you, uh... Had anything to eat in the last 24 hours?" - he asked.

"About Y/LN..." - Steve ignored Javier. - "Do you think she's gonna send me back? Did she say anything?"

"To be honest, I think if she was going to send you back, she'd have done it already. We know she doesn't put up any shit."

Steve sputted.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Do you think I am out?"

"I don't know." - Javier answered.

"Well, I ain't ready to go home yet, Javi. I'll tell ya that." - Steve threw the top from his bottle away. - "Damn it! She's fucking..."

Javier got up, he needed to do some or anything.

"Take a shower. Sober up." - he suggested to the friend. - "I'll get back to you."

Steve sighted, sitting back down.

**

"Thanks for talking to Y/LN again, man." - Steve thanked, while Javier was driving to their new office. - "I mean that... You saved my ass."

"One more fuck-up, Murphy..."

"Oh, I know." - he responded.

"Is it gonna happen again?" - Javi asked, worried.

"I don't know. I really don't." - Murphy seemed lost in thoughts.

"Let's hope for the sake of our careers that is the first and the last one."

Shortly after they arrive, you show up by helicopter, wearing a black tight suit, heels and sunglasses. Javier was already shivering.

Making an effort to change his focus, he said to Steve:

"Get ready to get your balls snippet." - and they both smirked.

*

Steve and you sat down at your office, his expression was awful: sad, bitter, hangover.

“So Connie left… You’re upset, knocked a few back to numb the pain and then decided to take it out on some Wall Street pendejo”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Isolated incident?”

“Yeah.”

“You still don’t trust me? That’s fine. But if I’m gonna have your back, I need to know that I can trust you. Otherwise, I have no problem sending you back to Connie in Miami… Am I making myself clear or do you need a drawing?”

“Loud and clear, Jefe.” - He sighed. 

“Dismissed, Murphy. Go to work.”

He got up and left your office.

He was just a ghost… A resemblance to what he was, when Connie was here. God, you felt sorry for him.

*

Hours later, you sat down at the bar, close to your office, after all those hours, alone.

You just wanted peace.

So much happened and you also got quite some happening.

Steve and his bullshit, Escobar on the run, Crosby up on your ass...

"A Dry Martini, por favor. Seco." (A Dry Martini, please. Extra dry.) - you order.

"¿Señorita, dry martini? ¿Seco? ¿Estás enferma?" (Miss, dry martini? Extra dry? Are you sick?)

"No, amigo... Soló necesito olvidar algunas cosas." (No, my friend… Just need to forget a few things.)

He knew your drink was a neat scotch, he never saw you drinking any other thing.

You hated how the gin burned while going down your throat. You could almost remember when Javier fucked your throat at the same time you used your vibrator because he wanted to see how you've done by yourself... He convinced you to pick it up at your place because he needed to ruin you, as you did to him...

"Díos mio... I don't wanna remember anymore, please, make it stop..." - you whispered like a secret prayer, closing your eyes.

*

About 2 hours later, taking off his tie, Javier walked into the same bar.

He sighed, so frustrated, so hurt, so pissed off.

Lorraine just had put the cherry on top: she wanted to leave Laredo to Dallas or Austin, because... He didn't even understand why. She asked for more money, his visit for a few days... The only good thing on that call was his baby boy, Lucas, who your so called wife insisted on calling Luke. Sometimes, he felt a little prejudice from her against his latin origin.

And she demanded again! Javier was trying to delay it, but she was coming on strong at him.

The worst part is… He didn’t care about Lorraine. Not that he ever did in the first place, but… 

In reality, he was just sad... 

Sad that he spent an intimate long night fucking you and... Nothing.

You just disappeared. Left him hanging.

Javier didn't even get to listen to you masturbating anymore.

He asked for a scotch, neat.

Just like he purred to you that night…

Sometime that night, you sat down on the armchair by his bedroom window, lit up your cigar, while he served you a glass of whiskey. You wore nothing but your red panties...

Javier kneeled down, again, for you.

There you were, smelling like your cigars, whiskey, sex... And Javier.

His hands worshiped your figure, opening you for him, again.

"Javier, I'm a little occupied..." - you said to him, almost purring.

"I don't care. I need to touch you. Go ahead with whatever you drink or smoke. It's sexy as fuck."

He loved that your scent was just like his. Make him feel like you belong to him, only him. 

“When I'm done with you, you're gonna smell just like me… Like my come, my perfume, my spit, my sweat… You ruined me, cariño. I'm just returning the favor.”

“Javi…”

“You know where you belong, don't you?” - his index and middle fingers entered you again. You moaned. - “You belong with me, cariño. I'm not letting you go.”

“Oh fuck…” - you moan. - “You also smell just like me, Javi…” - his eyes widened, surprised. - “You also smell just like my french perfume, my spit on your dick, my sweat on your skin… My come all over you…” 

You were so distracted you didn't even notice when he walked in and sat across from you.

When he spotted you, Javier went up to you.

"Martini, Y/N? Gotta say, did not see this coming."

"Bite me, Peña." - you responded through your teeth.

"I wish I could, cariño, but you won't let me get near you. I miss you. Don't tell me that you don't remember or you didn't like it." - his mouth came closer to your ear and murmured: - "You came so many times in my mouth that shirt I wore still smells like your cum, even after I washed 3 times already... Wanna know where it is?"

You sighted slowly, catching your breath, eyes closed.

"My bed, cariño. Right where you left your red panties, where you belong. Where you should be." - he continued to whisper in your ear.

"Peña..."

"No, not Peña. Call me Javi, babyboy, obedient soldier, anything but as if we were working… We both know that’s not under your obligations."

You looked at him, in pain.

"I-I-I can't. We gotta be a part, Peña."

He hit the bar with his fist.

"Bullshit! You may be an award winning actress, but you can't pretend any of that. I remember it all too well... I remember you telling me that was a fucking dream and you didn't wanna wake up! I remember you melting under my touch..."

You laughed.

"Peña, I quit smoking and drinking whiskey because of you."

"Why?"

"Because it tastes just like you." - aside from the scotch, he smoked cigarettes, not cigars. Your eyes are almost in tears.

He looked at you with those puppy brown eyes.

"Cariño... You don't have to..."

"Yes, Peña. I do... You don't get it, do you?"

"Actually, no, I don't. Enlighten me, then." - Javier responded, rude. He couldn't bear to be hurt one more time. He wanted to be yours and you to be his, only his.

"It was a mistake, Peña. You're overthinking what happened... I... We..." - you didn't know how to say or justify. You were lying and you were such a lousy liar... Javier could see right through you.

"Don't! Don't you dare to continue to say anything like that!" - it was his time to respond through his teeth. - "You don't get to do that! I won't accept these lies! You're not fooling me nor anyone… Days ago you were moaning and coming all over me... Now you want to take it back? News flash, you can't! You can’t change the past, you can’t change the fact that we fucked worse than rabbits, cariño. I told ya, I’m greedy as fuck." - his voice went from pissed to almost cooing at you.

You were feeling awful. Guilty. You shouldn't want Javier so badly, but you wanted.

"Peña, I'm your boss. We've got a job to do. I can't get involved with you, it was a mistake!"

Javier's heart was pounding. You couldn't do that to him.

You tried to get up, but your liquor betrayed you, almost throwing you on the ground, but Javi picked you up before you got hurt.

"Vamos, cariño. I'll take you home, vecina." - he said.

You only cuddled with him, holding up all you could.

*

Javier helped you get inside, paying attention to what you needed: You needed to eat, to take a shower and lay down, unfortunately, too drunk to do it alone.

First, Javier prepared a bath for you, a warm one.

"Peña, I just dumped you... You don't get to see me naked again." - you said to him, while you were sitting on the closed toilet and he took off your shoes.

He laughed. You were a cute drunk.

"Don't call me Peña. I already told you. Right now, I'm not calling you by 'jefe' or 'Y/LN' either. You're cariño, hermosa or even babygirl."

You began to take off your clothes, while he took off his jacket and folded his sleeves.

"I like cariño, Javi..." - you almost purred. - "I shouldn't. But I do..."

"Good. Cariño will be, Hermosa."

He helped you finish undressing and getting in the tub.

"Oh, it's gooood. Thank you, Javi..."

He remained outside it, just taking care of you, not letting you lay down too much or sleep.

When you finished, he covered you with a towel, leaving you alone for a few minutes to look for some medicine, as hangover prevention, and some food.

A little like him, your fridge only had whiskey, water and a leftover pizza.

You two were more alike than any of you wanted or expected.

He used the oven to heat it, at the same time you put a red and lacy nightgown.

"Oh, fuck, cariño... Had to be this one?" - he asked you, trying not to sound so horny.

"It was this one or none. Pick your poison, Javi."

He sighed. What a fucking brat you were, even drunk as a skunk.

"Sit, please. There you go, eat it. Where do you keep your painkillers?"

"My bedroom..."

"Finish your dinner, cariño. I'm going to give you some, we've got work to do tomorrow, you need to bring your A-game."

"Peña, I always do. Don't mess with me."

He snorted. Feisty one you are, as usual. He liked that about you.

You finished your slice and he took you into bed, made you take your medicine. He didn't lay down, he just sat next to you, observing.

"He never took care of me like that, you know?" - you revealed, almost sleeping.

"Who, cariño?"

"Ben..."

"Who's Ben anyway?" - Javier asked, pretending not to be curious, but you were too drunk to notice anything in his voice.

"My ex fiance... A cabrón... Malparido." - you cursed.

"Remind me, cariño, why?"

"You know... All the cheating, all the lying..." - you yawn. - "I'm tired, Javi..."

"Sleep, cariño. Buenas noches, hermosa... I'll bring breakfast tomorrow morning, before we go to the office."

But you slept before he even finished his sentence.

Javier left you safe and sound, at your apartment.

However, he never felt worse.

He wanted to be with you, more than sex. More than he ever wanted to be with any woman. 

The problem is...

He's also a cheating bastard. He also fucked half of Medellin and Bogota.

He doesn't deserve you and he knows it.

Javier doesn't care.

He's not going to give up on you: on the contrary, he's going to solve all that he can before you ever find out...

But how? How is he going to keep Lorraine away? How will he manage his boy's custody?

Too many questions, no answers.

“One problem at the time…” - Javier told himself, crossing the hall and entering his apartment.

He looked around: all in order, but you were missing. He wanted to do it right…

Javier laid on his sofa… But it smelled like both of you. He got up and sat at the table in the kitchen, Lorraine’s letters organized in a box. 

Pandora's box, as he joked sometimes to himself.

“Fuck…” - he cursed. - “How am I going to pull it off?”

* 

Next morning, he knocked on the door, anxious.

The seconds before you opened it felt like hours. He was bringing you breakfast from Mrs. Hernandez's café: arepas with cheese and eggs, mantecada, marquesa and, of course, black colombian coffee.

You open, holding back a smile, wearing a black dress and boots.

"What are you doing here? Something happened?" - you sound surprised.

Javi smiled, coming in as you let.

"Yes, cariño, I told you I would bring breakfast... I don't get the surprise. Wait, you don't remember? You were that drunk?"

"Oh, fuck! I forgot... Sorry, by the way."- you said as Javi entered your home.

He pulled you into his embrace, after putting the food at the table, and held you close, smelling your hair. - "I miss you so much, cariño... Don't push me away, please." - he begged.

You took a deep breath, Javier's scent was so good, so masculine and strong... You miss him too, but how can you manage it all?

You look deep in those puppy eyes.

Fuck, you hate that effect on you.

"Can we talk about it later? I'm very thankful that you brought food and took care of me last night... But things are not that simple. I don't quite remember, I was really drunk. But I do remember that I said I dumped you."

He laughed, stroke your hair.

"Not exactly... But you did reveal a few things, including that you quit smoking and drinking whiskey because of me."

You turn your face away. You felt a stupid girl, alcohol in and truth out. Your own mind betrayed you.

"Oh, fuck. Peña, I... Really, let's eat. After work we can talk, okay?"

He agreed and you both set the table. It was all delicious, he brought everything you like.

"Was Ben at least thoughtful during your hangovers?" - he asked, casually, with a smirk on his lips.

"Peña, what the fuck? How dare you? That's none of your business!" - you screamed towards him.

How and what does Javier know about my ex? - you thought.

"Cariño, you're the one who brought him up last night. I was just curious..."

"Peña, you have no right! Leave my home! Right the fuck NOW!"

"Y/N, what the fuck?! What the hell happened to you from last night to this morning?"

"I got sober, my senses got back to the right place. And you know what? I was only delaying what I was going to say. We're not getting together again. That night was a huge mistake!"

"Your car is in the garage, by the way. Keys in the ignition. See you later, jefe." - he picked up his coffee that was on the travel mug and left your apartment, not looking back.

Next

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

I need part 3 to Old Flame please I am obsessed! Their isn't enough fics of him on here

Old Flame III

Billy asks Y/n for a second chance at their relationship. She is skeptical and doesn't know if she feels the same way about Billy. Billy makes an oath to himself that he will make Y/n fall back in love with him, no matter how long it takes.

Word count: 1245 Main Masterlist Billy Gunn Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

I watched Y/n storm out of the arena and  I knew something must have been wrong. Was it what I said? Did she hear the words exchanged by me and Bullet Club Gold? “Y/n!” I called out. She froze in her tracks at my words. I approached her and asked “Is everything alright?” to which she replied “I’m fine” while looking at the ground. Just by reading her body language, I could tell she was tense and on edge. “Are you sure?” I asked, carefully lifting her chin so she would look at me. I was met with her watercolor eyes. She didn’t say anything, instead, I found myself getting lost in her eyes, taking a second to take in her features. Y/n was first to break the silence “Is it true?” I knew exactly what she was referring to. “Yeah it is,” I replied in a soft tone. “I don’t know what to say” “You don’t have to say anything,” I told her as I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. Afraid to let go, as if I was dreaming and would wake up alone. “I know this is a lot to take in, I am still trying to process everything but I promise I will explain everything,” I told her reassuringly. 

The next week myself and the acclaimed had another successful title defense against Bullet Club Gold. After the show Y/n agreed to have dinner with me so I could explain everything. 

“So, what is it that you wanted to tell me, Billy?” Y/n asked. I felt my throat get dry by her words, reality set in. I felt nervous, anxious, I could feel sweat start to form on my hairline. I almost wanted to back out but I knew if I didn’t say it now I never would. “Remember that night when you walked out of my hotel room?” I asked carefully, trying to plan my words without making a fool out of myself. “Yeah I remember that night” “Well the truth is that I did love you. I loved you so much that I was scared. Scared of my feelings, scared of hurting you. I didn’t even realize that what I was doing was causing more harm. When you asked if I wanted to be more than whatever we had I wanted to say yes. I really did, but for some reason my fear got the best of me and I said no. By the time I realized what I said it was too late. I knew the damage was done. I wish I did something to stop you leaving but I didn’t. I wanted to try and fix things but you moved and I was too much of a coward to admit that I messed up. Instead I watched you move on, I watched what you did. You accomplished so much and I knew I would have just held you back. I tried to do the same, I got married, had kids but I always felt like everything led back to you. Whenever I turned on my tv you were on it, whenever I picked up a wrestling magazine you were on the cover, when I took my kids to the toy store they wanted your action figure. It took me a long time but I got sober. I know we did drugs back in the day but after you left I just couldn't stop. I did it for many many years and then I hit rock bottom. I didn’t care that my wife left me and took my kids, all I cared about was what would Y/n think. What would you do seeing me in such a state? I flipped my whole life around for my family of course but also for you. I knew you went through similar things and I knew if you could do it, so could I. When I saw you again it was like I went back in time, it was like we were back in our 20s slowly dancing to “I Believe” (An: tears for fear btw). I couldn't stop thinking about you, it was like the universe was giving me a second chance. Can you give me a second chance Y/n?” 

I looked at the woman who sat in front of me. She was in shock, I could see the tears forming in her eyes. “What are the odds of that, do you hear the song they are playing” Y/n asked “Head over heels” I responded. On multiple occasions Y/n and I would spend hours at her place listening to records. Tears for fears being our favorite. We would play the album ‘Songs From The Big Chair ' on repeat for hours. “I don’t know what to say Billy, this is alot to take in” “I know it’s a lot, but I knew if I didn’t say it now I never would.” 

“I want to give you a second chance, I really do but I really don’t know Billy. It’s been 30 years. I’m not just going to throw myself at you like I’m in my 20’s.” to be fair I didn’t know what I was expecting. Y/n wasn’t going to get back together with me. I knew if I wanted to make things right I would have to prove myself. We finished the evening catching up after our years apart and I made an oath to myself that I would do everything I could to make Y/n fall back in love with me. 

Over the next few months Y/n and I spent a lot of time together. We went out after shows, explored the different cities we were in. It was almost like we hadn't missed a beat. Along with that Ashley, Colten and Austin seemed to get along well. At times it felt like the five of us were one big family. During this time I just fell more in love with Y/n, I felt like I was on the top of the world. I knew my plan was working, her daughter Ashley told me she hadn’t seen her mom so happy in a very long time, and I felt the same way. I invited Y/n over later that week where I would ask her once again for that second chance. The two of us spent the evening listening to old records like we used to. I watched her hips sway to the music as we danced, the moonlight from the window being our only source of light.​​ The two of us got so carried away that Y/n almost fell but I caught her in my arms, which caused Y/n to laugh. We stayed like that for a while, me holding her in my arms. She looked gorgeous, I don’t know what came over me but I kissed her, placing a delicate kiss to her lips. They tasted like cherry chapstick, a taste I forgot about. I didn’t expect for Y/n to kiss me back. Pulling me close, kissing me with such passion, I almost fell over myself. In the heat of the moment, I picked Y/n up, putting her over my shoulder as she playfully yelled for me to put her down. I ran up the stairs and carefully placed her on my bed. 

“I love you” I whispered gentily to which Y/n replied “I love you too”. 

[hynko]

★ | TALK 2U

m.list | previous | next

TW: alcohol consumption

— 3:00 PM. AFTER SCHOOL, BEFORE KARAOKE NIGHT

“rin”

“yeah?” suna turns to look at y/n “u down for karaoke night with atsumu, osamu, kita, and aran?” y/n asks as they walk out of class

“oh sure I didn’t know they were coming?” suna inclined “yeah but its a long story” she said as she lets out a sigh

“I kinda wish it was just us though” he pouts, crossing his arms.

“well we’ll hang out alone some other time I promise” she says, smiling at suna. His gaze softened. He was sure his heart stopped for a second right then and there

“better keep ur promise” he replied, looking away

— 5:30 PM. AT THE KARAOKE BAR

y/n & suna, intoxicated, along with the others sang their heart out all night long without a care in the world.

Maybe it was the fact that they both had feelings for each other or maybe it was the alcohol that led them to blatantly kiss each other as the others were distracted

y/n pulls away in shock, immediately sobering up. “did that just happen” she said, as she covered her mouth. “oh shit um I didn’t mean to i’m sorry i was just caught in the moment” suna exclaimed, frantically stumbling on his words

“no no its okay, we’re just a bit drunk that’s all” y/n assured him, flustered “its— its not like i didn’t like it though don’t get me wrong” she mumbled quietly

“what’s that? sorry I didn’t hear you” suna implied as he leaned closer to her “its nothing don’t worry” she indicated, waving it off, oblivious to the fact that atsumu witnessed everything happen.

He contemplated whether or not he should call them out but figured it would be best not to, considering the fact that he might be a bit jealous.

— 2:00 AM

🏷️ @weird0o0 @bubble-teabubs @wyrcan @noideawhothatis @oikasenpai @alienvarmint @tkooooop

btw if u guys havent noticed all the titles are based on songs😭‼️

[shwarmii]

how can you like drunk angst over first kiss?? 🥺

anon is regarding this post here, specifically my tags

characters discussed belong to @dakotawritesif / @disenchantedif

omg, so easily lol

bc its not just drunk angst, it is drunk angst about knowing their ex is gonna DIE, UNNATURALLY, AND SOON and pining/having never made up with them

but also im an asmr/audio-roleplay connoisseur*, so like, uh, also the following here. yeah. this primes me up to LOVE drunk ex scenario regret/pining shit lol (you'll have to excuse all these audios being men btw, i have a soft spot for deep voices and there isnt many deep-voiced women VAs in the audio-roleplay community (unfortunately foR MEEEE UGHH), much less many that have a video involving this niche Drunk Ex trope anyway lmao rip (same with the audios all being either "for Anybody" or "for Females". i don't currently have any "for Males" in this niche, even tho im the type of enby that listens to all three types of "for [you]" audios. alas. boo hiss))

none of these are "Luci-Inserts" btw, moreso "Evidence of why OF COURSE I AM MORE HYPED FOR DRUNK HALLWAY OVER FIRST KISS", like a vision board kinda sorta lmao

When Your Ex Drunk Calls You (I Miss You) (Slurred Speech) (Funny) (ASMR) (M4A).. (Fun fact: this VA is Scottish. also M4A = Male For Anyone, not just M4M (male for male) or M4F (male for female))

(this one is by the same Scottish VA) When You Drink With Your Ex (Kissing) (Exes to Lovers) (Drunk) (Regret) (Wholesome) (M4A) (ASMR)

(more of this Scottish VA bc he makes me laugh) When Your Crush Drunkenly Confesses To You (Singing Idiot) (Taking Care Of Him) (Silly) (ASMR) (M4A) (bonus there is a morning-after part two to this one yay)

Your Drunk Best Friend Wants You Gor Valentines [M4A] [Tsundere] [Confession] [Sober Listener] (and this one has a part two about the morning-after too)

ASMR Voice: I Should Have Told You [M4A] [Drunk Voicemail] [Ex-boyfriend] [Missing you] [Regret]

Audio Roleplay for Women | "Orbit" | Drunken Confession

Audio RP: Your Ex-boyfriend Asks For Another Chance [M4A] (not drunk but i love this one) (also it has a part two as well yayyy)

this one ((M4A but he does say you have a "pretty face") bc i do like Luci being upset someone is going to hurt the MC) and this one ((M4F) because i like the frustration lmao rip) also fit the vibe but neither are drunk or exes lmao rip

like, you would think as someone who is chronically ill to the point that my meds say "absolutely no alcohol (and one used to say no weed, idk if im still on that one, id have to go check)" that i would not give a shit about drunk scenarios buT I DO LOVE IT IN FICTION SO MUCH. my irl friends also like getting drunk on/off, or high, and my forced sobriety due to meds (and also family history, let's be honest. i do come from a long line of addicts, apparently, best i dont get involved, and i never have been) means i get to play Designated Driver pretty often. so i do recognize some realities/fantasties in the scenario. but also, god, i love the trope because it allows for such forced vulnerabilities, i fucking love whump fics, and a drunk ex fic is really just a whump fic with no bruises

and, ngl, i do think it is more likely we will get a First Kiss pov somewhere down the line if it loses than i think we will get a Hallway pov if it loses

plus, they were like what, 10?? 11??? idk how old they were when Luci/MC got together. but i know these fuckers are fresh out of high school and Luci is getting drunk, which means biTCHES ARE UNDERAGE DRINKING (which is an interesting characterization for Luci that i think reveals a lot about the Rivera parents as well as Luci's connections to wealth/alcohol), so there is that drama of "hide, hide, hide!!" if nothing else

and, again, then there's not only the angst of "ah, my ex-partner and/or -best friend" and the wanting to make up platonically/romantically but there is also the angst of "i knOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON AND IM NOT READY TO GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS" kind of "lost time", "call for rain-check until you can't" angle too. plus, i could see Luci being protective or frustrated or terrified, there are so many fun angles no matter the platonic/romantic additional feelings involved. and, because of how this pov works, there isnt going to be a kiss or anything happening. so it's just going to be slow-burn (to friends or lovers, idk your mc) and pining (platonic pining is a thing), i love that for me specifically lmao

but i do, like, get it. i get what you mean. if i thought this ask was mean-spirited, i wouldve deleted it and not answered; but i read this as "lol yeah that is fucked of me huh lmao you right". bc, YEAH, first kiss is romantic, drunk in your shared hallways is NOT lmao rip but i dont care if its romantic or not, i care that its making my guts get all twisted up. and the angst of (1) drunk ex that needs to taken care of (or needs to run away from you, either or) (2) thinks youre going to be murdered/in an accident and die soon and (3) may/may not still be in love with you and (4) knows they dont have enough time to reconcile with you and make-up for lost time... ngl, that is going to impact me more than a first kiss. im ready for the tragedy. fucking love this kinda shit

also i have my own hcs about my mc, Giselle "Gigi" Kraven, and Luci Rivera's first kiss. so. that probably also plays a role in all this bUT HEY!! IM STILL TRYING FOR THE 50/50 LMAO RIP WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER, MY COMRADE 🤝 YOU GET (DOOMED) FLUFF AND I GET (ALSO DOOMED) DRUNK ANGST, THAT'S A WIN-WIN LOL

*i would like to add: i have no idea if any of these VAs have drama or something. i dont pay attention to the fandoms, except vaguely for Redacted Audios because of the theories and world-building happening there (which the video here doesnt have much to do with), but otherwise i am so fucking ignorant bc i do not look these people up, i just watch their videos. i have been burned too many times by the Steven Universe fandom and other such communities and whatnot to get involved in fandoms i am only casually into, so i just only stick my nose into fandoms/creators i am die-hard into and dont delve into the rest, thanks for understanding if i may be out of the loop ✌️

[boxwinebaddie]

heeeeello party people!~ super bacteria uncle nina here using my silly tumblr to cope again ( my culture came back and it was...suuuuper fucking bad! like i knew it would be, lol! awesome! <3 thanks, god! )

but we're not thinking about, what were gonna think about is the time that ravenstan got a little Too tipsy topsy turvy on jerseyky boxwine,

( it's the cab sav one, fyi. i can't drink on all these Fucknut Antibiotics - they prescribed me the wrong one and i took it, if you can believe it; i luv doctors - can y'all believe i did this shit Sober? unREAL, brohs! )

and was on tiktok live, the dawn spawns of the world convinced him to do the 'White Boy Of The Month' filter bc he's too impressionable and what can i say;

The Man LOVES White Boys. ;) xxx

( helpsksdj )

so, he started doing it and was like 'nooooo, is /KYLE/ on this one?!?! You're Joking.' ( everyone said 'JK <3' because they all think they're jimmy valmer stand-up sit-down comedians, smh...but no, naught joking, Actually JK bc in my ncau-niverse, cd and the blondies gang are celebrities, so naturally they’re on A Lot of social filters )

so he was GOING to save The No.1 slot...for the no.1 slut ( if you will, ) my ginger gringo king, ceo of dark academic debauchery and bottom feeding ;), new jay's finest - literally - kyley b matthew broflovski; <33 ( buuuut! he's a reformed manhoe; so watchya mowtH! )

buuuuut x2 ( and i'd say it's a big butt, but it's not, it's ravenstan, so it's flatter than the sidewalk; luh you flat stanley ) Gaydhd Won Again and tipsy ravenstan got distracted by all the FINE ASS WHITE MEN and started getting philosophical about it ( that man put a lil too much #thot into those placings; he was born for it, soz )

had about two spots left ( the top and bottom spots; i am laughing ) figured that there was almost 'No Chance!' he would get jersey...

PUT /MATTHEW! GRAY! GUBLER!/ AT ONE ( Immaculate Taste, btw! he also put jacob elordi at number two because he is a fucking genius and that...really tells you Everything you need to know about my stan. like tall, could probably be a runway model, intellectual, kind of a jackass, stays fitted, accent or eccentric manner of speaking...yeah )

-- BUT HE WANTED TO BE CLEAR, HE HAD TO SPECIFY THAT HE WAS SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO /DR. SPENCER REID/ OF CRIMINAL MINDS. WHEN I TELL YOU HE HAS NO IDEA WHO MGG IS BUT HE HAS SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS SEVERAL TIMES. IT’S LIKE...HIS /FAVORITE/ FKN SHOW. AND HE DOES HAVE A FAT CRUSH ON REID. YES, I DOES TRACK; I KNOW. )

and RIGHT when he was rolling for the very last spot ranking on the filter ( that's the BOTTOM, i repeat, THE B/O/T/T/O/M of the tierlist )

...hE GOT KYLE

FUCKING

BROFLOVSKI

and had to place him at /TEN/.

-- riiiiiiight as Kyle /FUCKING/ Broflovski came out of the kitchen in the dorky ass star of david apron that sheila got him for hannukah, with his hair up and everything, holding a fork so stan could taste...

...T-THE PASTA HE JUST MADE HIM FOR DINNER BECAUSE HE'S A SWEET BEAUTIFUL /ANGEL/....and i'm talking The Very First Bite Of EXTREMELY DELICIOUS KYLE Pasta that he put ZUCCHINI IN JUST FOR STAN BECAUSE HE IS ( what? ) AN ANGEL!! FROM hEAVEN!!!!! AND THE WHITE BOY OF THE /YEAR/: TAKE YA JERSEY SLANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE: HE'S MY WHITE BUOY UVF FOREVA!

...proceeded to Blow On It ;-;, s-so stan wouldn't burn his mouth... ( bc rav always gets too excited and burns his mouth; nooo :c </3 ) and asked him why his phone was blowing up w/ people tagging him in thirst traps of 'That Supa Nerdy Guy From That One Crime Show' and asking him if stan tweeted something about him cooking bc people keep telling him that he's 'Cooked'. SHKDLDHLKS HEEELP.

And....

*rawr xd home mid/hschooled ravenstan vc*

Scene. <3

[keynb]

So I usually don't share my opinions due to my worry that people's lack of media literacy will misconstrue my words, but with some of the behavior I'm seeing I felt tempted. This is not to invalidate anyone, and what I'm about to say is entirely just my thought process. If you disagree that's fine, I'm not posting this to start an argument.

Anyway, was I super mega-bummed about Buddie karaoke being cut? Of course! Is it kinda messed up that the karaoke was a big part of the promo and now we won't get to see it? Definitely, yeah I was really upset. But after thinking about it for a little bit? It's not that big of a deal and I get it. I mean I am advocating for them to, like, release some extra little bits of the karaoke moment after the episode is released or at least tell us what the song was cuz Oliver and Ryan seemed to have a good time doing it and Oliver was so nervous about singing lol. But they made it clear that this season was a very "build as we go" situation and I believe they genuinely thought they were gonna be able to include more but that it just ended up not working out that way. I don't think they meant to shipbait us or anything either, I think they focused on Buddie in the promo cuz the main event was the madney wedding and chim being missing so they didn't wanna reveal anything about that particular plot, so they focused on the bachelor party instead. I know being teased about something and hyping it up repeatedly just to have it cut completely the day before is terrible, but with the workflow they're doing right now I feel like we shouldn't have been as surprised that they ended up, like, miscalculating a bit and having to cut more than they anticipated. And I'm sure they also prioritized the Madney content more than the bachelor party (which is good cuz this episode is about them) so those clips had to go. I feel like it was just an unfortunate series of events and not intentional on anyone's part. I've decided to give them some grace because making a TV show is hard, let alone doing it all so close to the release of each episode. I AM begging for the name of the song they sang at least!! Oliver was terrified to sing so he deserves that much lol. (BTW people saying "he got DRUNK for that scene how could you!" If you're joking then that's whatever but if you mean it seriously, I would like to say that he seemed more tipsy than anything, Oliver didn't say he had to be completely wasted to do it. He said they drank a little to loosen inhibitions but I don't think they'd get DRUNK. Lol Oliver has a hard time keeping an American accent sober, you think he'd be able to do any better genuinely tipsy?)

So TLDR: I don't think ABC meant to make us feel tricked, I just think their "lay the tracks while the trains still moving" method messed up a little. I also don't think they were intentionally shipbaiting us because with Madney being the focus of the next episode, they wouldn't wanna spoil or tease anything regarding their storyline, so they mainly focused on the more lighthearted Buddie bachelor party shenanigans, and they just overestimated how much they'd be able to fit in, and Madney should be the main focus anyway as this is not The Buddie Episode. If they continue to do stuff like this (tease and hype up scenes in promo that end up being cut, whether its ship baiting or not) then I will have more of a bone to pick

Also also, not to make it all about Buddie but as an endgame Buddie truther, I would really like to make a good impression to encourage them to make the moves to make Buddie canon. Like vent on your social media as much as you'd like but don't comment on official ABC posts saying they're like traitors or smth WE GOTTA BE PROFESSIONALS GUYS, this show isnt just about Buddie!! We need to find a balance between expressing our love for Buddie so they see our passion for it but not so much to the point it becomes insane, you know? And I say that with THE utmost love.

[salternateunreality2]

The Untamed aka Zackiroth brain rot updates for episodes 12 and 13 because HECK I am eating well today.

Spoilers below:

Heidegger: bring him out

Sephiroth: *injured, on the sad side of genocide, hostage, still standing tall, suffering*

Zack: SEPH! 😁 Genesis, look, it's Seph! My Seph! Hi Sephiroth! Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey Sephiroth! How's it going? You good? Hi! Hi Sephiroth! *Waves* Hi! 🐶🐶🐶❤️😁❤️

Sephiroth: 😐 *trying not to let Zack get in trouble, secretly really wants a hug*

-------

Heidegger: Sephiroth, recite the rules of Shinra!

Sephiroth: No.

Heidegger: Random Guy, recite the rules of Shinra!

Random Guy: I cannot.

Heidegger: SOMEONE HAD BETTER ANSWER. Zack, recite the rules of Shinra!

Zack: Ok! I studied, so I should be good *starts doing squats, winking at Sephiroth, posturing, stretching*

Heidegger: NOW!

Zack: alright, alright, keep your shorts on...*ahem* Be on time. Do not be late. Have good posture. Always be sober. Do not laugh at your elders. D-

Heidegger: *apoplectic* HOW DARE YOU RECITE THE RULES OF THE CRESCENT CLAN?!?!!!??!

Zack: oops, lol, I'm a dumb dumb 😂

Heidegger: TO THE POOP DECK, ALL THREE OF YOU!!!

------

At the poop deck, Zack gets in trouble and there is a glorious series of Sephiroth and Zack standing up for each other. Heidegger almost hits Zack, Sephiroth's wounded leg gets it instead, while he's on the ground, Zack draws Heidegger's hits, Sephiroth tries to stop Zack from being thrown in the dungeon, Heidegger almost throws Sephiroth in the dungeon, Zack saves his butt, just lots of self-sacrifice for bae on both ends ❤️

If you need me I'll be crying and petting their heads.

-------

IN THE DUNGEON THERE IS A PUPPER AND I THOUGHT ZACK WOULD BEFRIEND IT AND I WAS WRONG AND NOW AM VERY SAD 😭😭😭

Instead, pupper did a CHOMP on Zack.

Bb Cloud sneaks in to stop the pupper and give Zack meds.

Zack: wazzup?

Cloud: the Crescents were half-killed

Zack: *skips right over the entire clan* IS SEPHIROTH INJURED?!

Cloud: yeah

Zack: *saves the meds Cloud brought instead of using them on his FeStErInG dOg BiTe*

-------

Later, they all go on a walk and Zack spends the whole time Bothering Sephiroth, asking if he wants a piggyback, getting Red Lady to stop the march, and fetching water for his boo.

10/10 good pupper.

Genesis the whole time: brother, we are in a HOSTAGE SITUATION, keep it in your pants!

Zack:

--------

During their walk, they go spelunking! ...it doesn't go great.

I mean, it goes great for me, I get lots of SephZack saving each other from giant dick heads (literal and figurative; if you know, you know #murdertortoise)

---------

Heidegger: *starts a fight*

Zack: Anyone who's a giant dickhead and starts fights because he's got a big scary clan backing him will be executed and beheaded and spat on!

Heidegger: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT SHIT?!

Zack: ...that's literally in your clan's handbook. Line 213. The handbook you forced everyone to memorize and made my lil buddy pass out over (btw that happened). It ALSO says don't insult your ancestors like a dick, and you just did. The punishment, as outlined on line 376, is ALSO DEATH because wtf man y'all are metal.

Heidegger's cronies: ohhhh snap, oh no he didn't!

Heidegger: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

-------

Zack puts the sexy in sexy wound care by, I shit you not, threatening to undress Sephiroth, then undressing himself until Sephiroth COUGHS UP BLOOD OUT OF SHEER GAY PANIC, which Zack is happy about because apparently it's a vital step in the healing process. 😂😂😂😂😂

--------

Zack: hah, I'm glad I got branded by the crazy woman (btw that happened) instead of her getting that cute chick, because that would SUCK for the chick. She was totally into me, and will remember me forever after this *smug dumb bi noises*.

Sephiroth: 😳🫠*sad gay rejection noises* 😡 *angry noises* You shouldn't flirt if you don't mean it.

Zack: awww, are you jealous?

Sephiroth: 🫠*gay panic noises*

Zack: you have a crush on her, don't you! 😂 *idiot bi noises of denial*

Sephiroth: 👁️👄👁️ *stares into Zack's soul with the gayest longing ever* 🫠 no.

-------

Zack-approved medical care:

* not treating your dog bites because bae might need treatment later

* JUST GOING SWIMMING with open wounds

* forcing bae into gay panic so severe that he coughs up "stale blood"

* wrapping the shortest sticks ever DIRECTLY ONTO OPEN WOUNDS presumably to stabilize the bone that was broken? Months? Ago?

* shrugging

* patting open wounds with dirty, unwashed hands

* leaving bae in wet clothes but it's ok because you dried your coat and put it over his wet clothes.

-------

Also Zack makes Sephiroth cry, which is probably good for him, and likely the first and only time Sephiroth has opened up this much to anyone in his adult life I AM DECEASED IN A PUDDLE OF MY OWN TEARS 😭😭😭

[dephirium]

So. I am leaving my fic's big ass infodump here because A) having it in the comments is ugly and B) I am too busy and tired to try to make it hmtl pretty on the author notes or whatever. Plus, AO3’s character limit is ass.

Here's the fic: Tha koimithó ótan petháno.

Funnies

Akire: I trust that mister Delamer and mister Maitsu are doing well together :)

Damon: *screaming, traumatized*

Jean: *screaming, also traumatized*

Damon: Why tf are you calling me a kid I am 18

Jean:

Jean: I thought you were like 16

Jean: I am worried about you.

Damon: Hahaha.

Damon: Oh you're not joking?

Damon: HAHAHahaHAhA—

Scrapped content

In chapter 2 I forgot to add that Jean notices signs of Petechiae (Red dots on the skin/cheeks, usually present after crying) on Damon's face, which he points out in the narration and mentally ponders "maybe he is not holding on as well as we thought." I don't fucking KNOW how I did not add it because I remember writing it into the doc but I guess I accidentally deleted it???? What-fucking-ever man I am too tired to rewrite that scene. Also, this chapter would not work as well if Jean was a lot more aware about how badly Damon was holding on. Sooo, yeah. Good forethought past me question mark.

(Jean knows general medical stuff because of his job / he binge read about it after the Edward thing to avoid any other crewmates being ill / hurt. Kind of comes out of left field in this chapter sorry lol I kind of gave up mid-fic so the quality is kind of bad)

In the titanic argument I was planning for Damon to respond “The debate was so bad I regret doing it sober,” or something of the sort. To which Jean asks Holy Shit You Drink ? Ended up scrapped because Damon, even while sleep deprived, is way too secretive about his abuse personal life for his own good. Besides, the scene was getting too long.

Also, yes, he does drink (/hc). Not by own volition most of the time, but he does. Legal drinking age? What is that? The Maitsu family never heard of it. (Wolfgang would have a stroke if he knew nobody tell him)

I actually planned a bit where, when Damon bandages Jean's wound (it was planned to happen on the bed and not the floor btw), Jean explains the items™ to Damon after he points out the first aid kit being the debater's and Damon looks at the ship captain like he grew a third head. Hence, explanation.

It felt too forced and I ended up removing it. You probably can figure it out with the context I left (I HOPE), but here is the explanation just in case:

(This idea was based on a fic by the lovely Insqmniac. I don't remember the name rn, sorry ;; EDIT: Acting and Pretending!!! They deleted the work but it was very good!) Tozu left an item for all the killing game participants with deep emotional and / or medical significance in their room’s nightstands. Be it a family memento, a candy brand you liked as a kid, a perfume that isn't sold anymore, prescription pills or eye contacts: That kind of stuff. It is like an intimidation tactic or something??? Something to scare the participants with bcs of the amount of information they have about their personal lives. Or something. I don't know man, it is 4 pm I have not slept in like 30 hours I have reached a new plane of existence. It just sounds so creepy and it is definitely something Tozu would do. Maybe. I already had the canon divergence tag so might as well utilize it in a angst way while at it /shrug

Jean received Edward’s marine dog tag, Damon received a first aid kit (and he's the only person in the killing game that has first aid equipment, fun). You can probably imagine why Jean reacted like that to seeing Damon’s item and his subsequent realization. Let's just say that Maitsudad was not kind.

I had a very lovely idea very late into this fic of playing on the concept of Dragons and snakes being very similar (in mythology/religion, anyways) but I couldn't figure out a way to include it organically in this fic (considering that the themes/metaphors of the fic were already too wonk as is) so I MIGHT get another Jean & Damon fic just to get that symbolism out of my head???

Not likely. I feel horrible about my poor characterization of the dude in this fic already.

I butchered Jean's characterization so bad I made salami with it,,,

In the Damon panic attack from Jean’s POV, I had to scrap a small line where Jean notes that some of the nonsense Damon is spewing in his panic is actually Spanish. Another hc of mine, personally Damon looks like the kind of guy to throw Hispanic slang and insult all your family lineage in one breath (and yes I am biased because I am Hispanic how could you tell. But no, he is not Hispanic, it is actually kind of complicated to explain). I will probably delve into that hc and my general mental illness about the backstory I made up for the guy (yes I am very normal about Damon shut up) in another fic I have planned.

I had to scrap so many Damon lines y'all. He is just. So easy to write. This dude is like depressed 14 year old me trying to seem edgy and pretentious istg.

Info dumping

I don't think I am doing a fic of Jean alone to actually write this down so, here, have the whole Edward situation and my delusions about it: basically, back when Jean was just becoming a ship captain by himself (he probably started as a cadet/assistant of one of his relatives, who was the ship captain themselves. Jean then took the job from them later down the line, idk) at age 18ish, there was this regular crew he had. One of the people in said crew was Edward, an asshole with self-worth issues who made it everyone else's problem.

On one departure, they get news of a big-ass storm happening, and they are very much stuck in the middle of the sea trying to just survive it(tm). Luckily it was a cargo ship so the only people they had to look for were themselves, but still.

Edward decides to be the main man on everything to prove his worth, that he means something to the crew, that his life has meaning. Everyone was kind of ignoring Edward's self destructive behavior (not their issue, they said). Jean in turn decided to try to do something about it, so new into the position and wanting the best for his crew, so he went to talk to Edward so he hopefully realizes he is being a moron and stops playing the martyr.

Edward, as you can tell by this fic, does not heed Jean’s pleas to take care of himself and decides to spitefully double down on his self-destructiveness so hard he fell ass backwards and killed himself due to sleep deprivation and starvation the fucking idiot.

(His crew, who were in their late 20s to mid 50s and had already seen some shit™, took care of the corpse themselves. They didn't want Jean, as young as he was, to see the body. He saw it anyways, if only on passing. Which is also the reason why he was more inclined to believe Eva when seeing the dummy, but details)

Jean blames himself over pushing Edward “too hard” and causing his death. (While at the same time he feels like he could have done MORE to avoid his death back then, ain't guilt fun?) That's why he fears pushing Damon too much until there's nothing he can do but twist the debater's arm into actually resting after days of watching the younger consistently get worse. And, welp, we know how that ends.

At least he tried tho. 乁( •_• )ㄏ

Another thing. Was the buddy system actually chosen at random or was Damon right about it being rigged?

... Who knows! Lol

Logically speaking I think it would make more sense for it to either be rigged in the random pairings to get the most optimal-ish outcome (List of pairings in chapter 1 AAA), or like Akire actually bullshitted the random bit to try to get Damon to cooperate. But in the other hand it would be too fucking funny if it was actually made at random and Damon is just being unnecessarily hostile and antagonizing for no reason. So, I wrote it to be ambiguous! probably!! Go have your own interpretation idk!!

Other miscellaneous notes

Eva had the exact same "You are doing this to keep tabs on us" train of thought as Damon, but unlike the debater she decided to cooperate on the plan without whining about it. She and Ingrid have an amazing time playing Dos in their dorm.

Desmond is having a shit time because he wants to help Ulysses have a, at least, decent sleep schedule since they are partners. They have a similar ish arc to Damon and Jean funnily enough, except all the trauma and accidental PTSD triggering.

The Titanic bit is actually a thing that happened. A dude legit predicted the Titanic it is bonkers (I learned this thanks to 999 and thought it would be funny to add it because sleep deprived Damon likes to info dump (yes I am neurodivergent how could you tell) and Jean is the fucking Ultimate Ship Captain what better chance can you get?). Also yes ships back then were bonkers it is hilarious.

When Jean returns with food after this fic him and Damon sit down to explain to the latter all the things he missed in the class meetings so Damon is not running with fake facts again (and hopefully avoid other panic attacks about it in the future). They are forced to communicate about being partners and while they are both still very emotionally stunted because of their respective traumas they at least have a semi-honest conversation for once. Mostly because Damon is too tired and worn-down to be antagonistic.

The roommate system prooobably gets ruled out at the week two and a half(?) by a very frustrated Tozu, but by then he will need a very strong/kill or die motive to actually get a crack on the partner system itself (which is too broad a concept for him to actually rule out the game entirely).

(Realistically speaking he probably would deny the system from happening as quickly as it was brought up because he would notice it as a liability to his killing game plan, but then again. This is fic. I like my Tozu very stupid in fic)

Damon slowly starts reintegrating back into the group when he feels less like "Hi I just had 4 panic attacks in a week what is life at this point." Jean personally helps him in it.

Damon doesn't exactly remember what happened when he was triggered (bcs I hc him to forget trauma to cope, only vaguely remembering things when triggered / having intrusive thoughts). He remembers stabbing Jean because of a "overreaction" on his part and that's pretty much it. He feels like garbage about it but doesn't know how to apologize.

Thankfully, the wound was very minimal so nobody really noticed it after the bleeding stopped and Jean removed the bandages. It is their shared secret that nobody shall know about.

After chapter 1 Damon has a 10 minute panic attack, call himself cringe for it, and forces himself to go for the futon. You could hear him cursing out to all the gods throughout the living quarters. Like La Llorona but it is a dude swearing instead.

Jean brings Damon food. From things like granola bars to small portions of meals (to avoid any accidental refeeding syndrome), every time Jean goes out, he brings Damon something to eat. The others question it at first but Jean only gives vague explanations so they give up (they know, somewhat. But it is not their business so they don't push about it).

Damon has never had anyone offer comfort or food without a catch to it so he is very confused to the whole ordeal but too tired to actually complain (he still compulsively checks everything, afraid of poison, despite never being any).

after a bit he actually somewhat warms up to the ship captain !! Yaaay Damon getting comfort !!!! Finally !!!!!

Writing this my entire thought process of Damon's characterization was "abused stray cat that hisses / scratches you but all it wants is love and a stable living environment and once it has it and gets used to it, it is actually very cuddly." That's just him in a nutshell. Just add some asshole pretentious vibes into the mix & you're done

I made Edward up very late (writing session 8 out of 10) into chapter 2 because I needed a reason as to why Jean would physically force Damon to sleep. When I said the man is a plot device I meant it lol

Tozu had a Live Tozu Reaction to Jean's and Damon's fight thinking that fINAlLY SOMEONE IS DYING.. And then nobody did. Oop.

AND THEN Jean gets killed and Damon suffers horribly /jkjk