#i am not from ohio i promise

[your-secondborn-child]

having extremely aimless thoughts about how people write subz, specifically dialect-wise

not really /neg or /pos i’m just thinking

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 12

PREVIOUS

If there was one thing no one would ever guess about FF it is that he unapologetically LOVES Black Friday.

You may be thinking. Ugh Black Friday. Everyone is so rude and tired. The deals aren’t even that good. It can turn into a blood sport at the drop of a hat over a toaster that is 15% off.

You are correct.

That is why FF loves it.

It is the one shopping day of the year where every single one of his instincts are correct, valid, and useful. He has pulled his gran out of the way of elbow drops, he has avoided the gaze of a woman in PINK sweat pants who was looking for someone to steal a blender from, and he knows without a doubt that the cashier hates him already so there’s no need to worry about whether or not they hate him.

It’s like a breath of fresh air!

Everyone is just as antagonistic and awful as he thinks they are!

Shopping is actually the blood sport he always feels like it is!

So there he is standing in a line at the nearest store (Target) waiting to be let in with the masses who all look ready to stab one another for better positioning for a TV. The jokes on them though because his only goal is the grocery section and he deals with the threat of repeated stabbings for BREAKFAST.

He spots an IHOP in the distance and hopes his gran doesn’t feel too lonely. They’ve gotten buttermilk stacks together at the IHOP by the mall for years after the two of them finished Christmas Shopping.

Someone elbows him in the side to get his spot in line but FF does not really care. Again, he doubts any of these people are going to be racing him to the all purpose flour.

It’s 4 AM and the barricades come down.

There’s a rush of people pushing and shoving but FF just steps to the side and watches as they all rush in. He’d mostly stayed in the line because the throng of people made it easier to stay warm. He had left his jacket back at the house because the five hour energy might be making his skin feel super sensitive but he is pretty sure that if he wore his nylon jacket he would die.

The five hour energy also may be upping his anxiety just a little bit.

He walks into the store at a leisurely pace and while the crowd fights over the carts he grabs one of the baskets. He can feel the eyes of other shoppers all wondering if he has some insider knowledge on a good deal that would only require the basket or if it’s a matter of who gets to the back to receive the ‘redeem’ coupon.

He sees a few shoppers get lured in by his siren call and much like a siren following anything that FF is about to do will undoubtedly lead to their downfall.

But FF doesn’t care about that.

He cares about HIS downfall.

So he makes his way to the grocery section and ignores the six different shopping assistants who try and guide him to where he ‘should’ be shopping and each of them only give him increasingly confused looks when he states his intention to go to the grocery section every single time.

Is it easier to ignore their stares when the five hour energy have set his baseline heart rate to something that might be too fast to register as a heartbeat? Maybe.

It is easier to ignore the confusion on their faces when he can see both the past (he asked for TWO favors from Andrew in one day how is he still alive???) and the future (still malleable at the moment apparently. There’s even a future where Andrew actually just is trying to make overtures of friendship but he dismisses that one as INCREDIBLY unlikely and looks at the far more viable one where Andrew at least makes his death quick while he enjoys his great gran’s brownies.)

It’s good to set reasonable goals for yourself.

So he arrives at the grocery section which is deserted aside from one employee who may or may not be asleep against a shelf. FF looks and….not a shelf he needs so he is not about to wake that poor man up.

So he gets everything he needs for his great gran’s brownies (he’s trying to buy his life here so he is not about to assume he can use ANYTHING in the house), the ingredients for a good breakfast (because he really needs to eat something that is not a five hour energy or sugar for the sake of his poor stomach and he may as well get enough for everyone), and (since Captain Neil mentioned it & he is trying to buy his life here) the ingredients to bake another pie.

While he grabs cinnamon he checks to see if they have grandma’s love in stock but, alas, it continues to be unavailable commercially.

He stares at the whipped cream for so long that the employee asleep in the other aisle woke up and asked if he needed help and, startled, he dropped it in his basket. “No I’m good.” He says before power walking out of the grocery department and deciding to brave the Home Goods section to buy some incense so that he can hopefully channel the spirit of his great gran to assist him in this, the darkest of his baking hours.

He arrives at the check out stations and finds the shortest line .

He can feel eyes on him, inspecting his purchases, judging them, judging him, who the fuck goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush?

FF.

FF goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush.

The cashier looks for hidden cameras but FF has no such thing accompanying him today or ever (as far as he knows.)

After a moment the cashier must look at the ever growing line and decide that whatever scheme they think FF is up to isn’t worth trying to figure out. They offer a membership card, FF valiantly declines to get one despite the two attempts.

He is out the door with four bags of groceries that all have a target on them that feels a little too correct. It’s 6 AM now (he really did lose a lot of time at the whipped cream section) and he’s walking back to the house in Columbia.

He actually feels a little bit better since he at least got to experience his actual favorite blood sport (sorry Exy) and he even got another 2 five hour energies while he was in the check out line so he could replace some of the ones that he had gone through.

“Smith?”

He would like to thank the combined weight of the groceries for keeping his feet on the ground when he heard Captain Neil’s voice.

He turns and Captain Neil is looking at him wide-eyed in his running gear that Smith has seen him in. “You were shopping??” He asks.

FF nods and lifts up the four bags as evidence. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” He asks.

FF almost scoffs but he doesn’t, “You can’t be distracted when you’re in a Target on Black Friday. That’s how you take an elbow to the eye.” He responds because it’s like Captain Neil has never experienced the WWE-like environment of Black Friday shopping.

Captain Neil blinks at him.

“Text Andrew or me next time you’re going to go off into the night or just let us know beforehand. Andrew would have driven you.” Captain Neil says and grabs two of the bags out of FF’s hand. “C’mon let’s get back and maybe you can get some sleep.” Captain Neil sighs.

“I’m fine.” FF adjusts the bags so he has one in each hand.

Captain Neil does not say anything so FF assumes that he has accepted that.

***

FF had not been asleep on the couch when Neil had walked through the living room. Neil, in a move that had Andrew fully waking up, went back to the room to check his phone to see if FF had texted him an update on going out. All that greets Neil is the impersonal series of texts that mostly confirmed when practice times had been changed, when the bus was leaving, and spelling on various Spanish words.

FF isn’t a big text person.

He’s more of an in-person kind of friend.

Neil likes that about him most of the time.

“What.” Andrew asks face still half buried in Neil’s pillow.

“Smith isn’t on the couch.”

That has Andrew getting up despite the early hour and their activities the night before. Neil watches as Andrew grabs his own phone to scroll through but seems to come up with the same lack of communication that Neil does.

Andrew does do the extra step and hit the call button.

But all he gets is the confirmation that the VM has not been configured that has greeted them every time FF misses their calls. (Voicemails make FF anxious so when he got his new phone he just…never configured it.)

Neil knew that FF was not pleased with them and somehow the calm request to either stop fooling around or let him out had hit him and Andrew harder than any of the screaming demands that the two of them were usually met with from Nicky, Kevin, Aaron, or any of the other Foxes.

“You said he wasn’t mad.” Neil says.

“He nodded.” Andrew confirms.

“Maybe he went on a walk?” Neil tries as they come out to the living room. They look at the front door and find that it’s locked but it looks like Aaron’s keys are gone. “He probably is going to come back if he took Aaron’s keys since Aaron wouldn’t be the one he’d be irritated with.” Neil rationalizes.

“He didn’t bring his jacket.” Andrew says looking at the black jacket still on the hook by the door.

“We can go and see if we spot him.” Neil offers.

Andrew nods and Neil heads out first since Andrew is still in his sleeping clothes and will need some time.

Neil had not expected to find FF walking back to the house with groceries for breakfast and the pie that Neil had mentioned hoping they could bake at the house.

“Is this for the pie?” He asks looking down at what was in the bags he was carrying as the walked back to the house. Neil managed to shoot off a quick text letting Andrew know that it was fine, FF just went grocery shopping.

FF just nods, “Got everything but Grandma’s love.” He says.

FF is a nice guy to brave the stores on a morning like this but FF also looks like he hasn’t slept a wink.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Neil asks.

“I’m fine.” FF repeats.

Neil really is starting to understand his friends’ hatred for the phrase.

They get back to the house and Andrew is sat out in the living room. FF stops and blinks at the sight of him sitting there.

It is a well-known fact that Andrew does not willingly wake up early most days unless he has to. Neil is glad that Andrew has a friend that he’s coming to care about the way Andrew cares about FF.

Andrew gets up and yanks the bags out of FF’s hands. “Go to sleep. Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.” He says with a scowl and walks to the kitchen to put away the groceries FF had bought.

FF just looks at where Andrew had gone uncomprehendingly for a few moments and Neil figures he’s just tired. Neil feels guilty that him and Andrew messing around in the car like that had rendered FF unable to sleep and the two of them had agreed last night that from now on when FF is in the car they can talk all they want but hands stay on the wheel and eyes stay on the road.

FF is plopped down on the couch when Andrew and Neil come out of the kitchen after putting away the groceries (“These are the ingredients for brownies.” Andrew had noted as he put away melting chocolate.) and he’s looking through his flashcards again and not sleeping. He hears Andrew make a disgusted noise next to him and the next thing he knows Andrew is smacking the cards out of FF’s hands.

“Go. To. Sleep.” Andrew enunciates.

FF stares at him, then down at the flashcards. “I don’t think I can.” He says which is better than him lying and saying he wasn’t tired even if the truth had Andrew’s mouth stretch into a thin line that meant he was beating himself up for something.

“Try.” Andrew orders. “Just lay down and close your eyes. Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” He says.

FF blinks but nods turning on the couch and laying down. The blanket is still over on the lazy boy that Neil had set it on the night before and Andrew rolls his eyes before grabbing it and tossing it over FF.

“Thanks.” FF says before closing his eyes.

Neil looks to Andrew who nods and Neil accepts that there’s nothing else to be done for now and heads out on his run.

***

FF can admit that he’s a bit adrift in what Andrew and Captain Neil are doing right now.

He really should go grab another five hour energy because falling asleep IN FRONT of an irritated Andrew Minyard feels like a death sentence but “Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” And having a blanket thrown over him did not feel like a threat even if he can feel Andrew’s eyes watching him.

FF is tired and when he’s tired he tends to make stupid decisions. So FF lets himself drift off to sleep while the man who was likely going to move him to a secondary location sat and watched.

His dreams are not peaceful.

He’s running, can’t escape, an echo of words he should have considered before letting himself drift off and he knows he’s going to DIE.

He wakes up with a start to the smell of bacon, eggs, and hashed browns with Nicky standing over him. “Hey there sleeping beauty! I made you a plate!” He says and hands FF a plate of breakfast that smiles up at him with a bacon mouth, egg eyes, and hashed brown hair.

FF takes the plate and digs in immediately. He needs his strength.

“Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.”

Andrew Minyard was going to hunt him for SPORT.

NEXT

Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES (closed)

Per Your Requests:

@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion​ @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @foxsoulcourt​ @blueleys @adverbialstarlight​ @elia-nna​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @nikodiangel​ @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat​ @hallucinatedjosten​ @satanic-foxhole-court​ @vexingcosmos​ @chalilodimun​

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly? (Cheesecookie whatever you did let me actually select you this time)

[arlo-venn]

GI says next plan re: my pain spreading across my abdomen and to the spleen area is to do chest and full abdominal x-rays 🩻 I hope I can schedule them for before the gallbladder surgery.

[larrysblooming]

how tf am i supposed to go to sleep now when i’m high off adrenaline, horny, and jealous af of fucking ohio?!?!!?

[newtlesbian]

urgent list part four

many messages are coming in. i apologize so deeply if they aren’t answered right away. i promise everyone will be given attention.

everyone who sees this please dont scroll away. the people in these lists are in horrible conditions and in desperate need of help. please give something to them it is very urgent.

food is very expensive and they are starving. it is becoming cold and they need warm clothes and blankets. these people need medical treatments. they need money to evacuate. i want everyone to really give something and not only reblog. please.

CLICK FOR PART ONE

CLICK FOR PART TWO

CLICK FOR PART THREE

check back for part five

————————————————————

OLD LIST 1

OLD LIST 2

————————————————————

1. URGENT. please send help immediately to khawla’s family. she is supporting her husband and three young children. she reached out to me saying she has an appointment tomorrow and needs money asap. this is a very serious situation and i want everyone to send something asap.

kawla-gaza05.tumblr.com is her blog please reblog the posts.

please send something now

————————————————————

2. URGENT. abood and his wife maria reached out to me asking for help asap. they need 150 to buy flour as it has become overpriced. if everyone sends some help now they can reach this goal and this family will not have to go hungry.

abood-gaza21.tumblr.com is his blog. please reblog the posts

please send something now

————————————————————

3. URGENT. fahed shehab is supporting a family of 8 people. this family needs your help as they are very close to reaching their goal. send something to them to help reach it now and end the wait.

fahedshehab-new.tumblr.com is his blog please reblog the posts

please send something now

————————————————————

4. URGENT. majed is supporting a family including young children after losing the house they all lived in due to genocide terrors of the occupation. please send help with this link

@majedgerbawi on here. please reblog their posts

LOW. 8k out of 70k

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5. URGENT. mohammed salem is supporting his parents and 5 siblings while they all live in a refugee tent together. now his young son is in the hospital with a chest infection and they all need help

@s-sa-mo on here. please reblog their posts

CLOSE. 7k out of 10k

————————————————————

6. URGENT. ahmed totah is supporting his family of 7 people including his parents, disabled grandfather, and sister. they have no blankets or shoes for the winter and are in dire need as the weather gets cold

@ahmedbm on here. please reblog their posts

LOW 85 out of 100k

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7. URGENT. muhammad is supporting his family with this link. He and his wife have 3 young children all under five years of age. they need your help to buy necessities like milk and food and to find safety.

@mohamed-resh9900 on here. please reblog their posts

————————————————————

8. URGENT. abdul rahman hilles is the surviving husband of the martyred journalist ola al-dahdouh after they and their young child karam were targeted in another disgusting missile strike from the genocidal occupation paid for by a country you likely read this from. he and karam have been left damaged from the strike and the loss of their wife and mother. please help them recover and find safety together

@abedhilles on here. please reblog their links

LOW. 4k out of 35k

————————————————————

9. URGENT. reem mohammad is supporting a family with young children while displaced and living in a tent. they are struggling with daily necessities and need financial help asap

@reemfamily on here. please reblog their posts

LOW only 30 out of 25,000!

————————————————————

10. URGENT. Amany Ubeid is a 40 year old mother of 3 children ages 16, 14, and 9. they have lost their home and way of life. her husband has a skin disease and needs to pay for treatment. send help to this family asap

@amnyaburas on here. please reblog their posts

LOW. 2k out of 65k

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[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #3: ROT FOR CLOUT

(also on bandcamp and spotify!)

WHAT'S going on guys, welcome back to another Constant Companions Closeup, the show where we take a DEEP DIVE into what makes these tunes tick! Last episode, we went aaaaaall the way there on Not Quite There, and today, we're making that liggity-line go up up up up up with ROT FOR CLOUT featuring VISUALEYES!! Before we get started, remember to SMASH that like button, SLAM subscribe, and FUCK the bell icon. This week's community challenge: leave your credit card info in the comments! Bet you won't!

(*cough*)

---

I check my notifications way too fucking much. It's a habit I'm trying to curb, and to my credit, I am doing better lately, but being chemically predisposed to dopamine deficiencies has done a number on my ability to go five minutes without checking the funny glowing numbers on my phone. Naturally, I also very much seek more validation than I should from the opinions of strangers yadayadayada yeah that's what the song is about but none of that actually has to do with why I started writing this song in the first place.

Have you ever taken a flight with American Airlines?

This was after waking up at 4 in the morning to fly out of Houston thinking I'd be napping on a couch in Ohio by 2 pm at the latest.

I want to make one thing clear here, and that's that I made this bed for myself. Tucked the sheets in and all. You see, on the rare occasions I fly, I normally take Southwest. Southwest does not overbook flights like a lot of other airlines do, so it's a practice I am mostly unfamiliar with. So, when I received a notification on my phone promising genuinely ridiculous amounts of flight credit money in exchange for taking a slightly later flight, I thought - well, shit! That sounds nice!

This is how they trick you. I didn't really realize I'd been tricked until I was on my second flight of the day, sitting in a middle seat at the very back of the plane, heading from Dallas, a city I don't live in, to Washington, DC, a city I was not trying to get to, staring down the barrel of another flight I was destined to get on that had been delayed like two fucking hours.

I became the Joker. All I could do to remain sane was write a song about it. This is how ROT FOR CLOUT came to be.

I guess the moral of the story is this: Don't go to Ohio. And to answer your question,

Yes I am

Not really

No

---

This is a complete sidenote but I want to mention it here: I'm genuinely overjoyed at the amount of people excitedly talking about my songwriting or the intention behind my lyrics. For a long time, it really felt like lyricism was the last thing people cared about from me, while it was always the thing I wanted to take pride in the most... So genuinely, thank you everyone for caring!! Every single fire emoji people have put next to a line I've written has extended my lifespan by multiple years

There's a brief little moment where the song's chords leave the key, doing a really stereotypically jazzy 2-5 movement, and it's one of my favorite parts of the entire song. I'm not really a music theory buff or anything, and I'm certainly not formally trained, but I've always been very passionate about more complicated harmony in otherwise poppy and accessible contexts - bo en's album pale machine really rewrote my brain when I first heard it.

On that note, there are microtones in the vocal melody - During the chorus, some of the rapidly repeated words move up in quarter tones! Possibly the simplest way I could've included microtonality, but I'm genuinely afraid if I learn more than what I already know about it I'll be lost to the darkness.

Obviously, the work of Sasuke Haraguchi was a massive influence on this song, particularly the song Igaku. I think basically everyone on the entire planet has picked up on that at this point, but I do also wanna point out some other songs that were on my mind at the time! (two for three on these posts mentioning louis cole now)

I'd also like to take a moment to spotlight the vocal samples on this! They previously appeared on エビチャーハン!, and they've honestly become some of my favorite samples to throw in things. They're also just a fucking goldmine sincerely

Finally, HUGE thanks to Visualeyes for the delightful synth solo on this!! I had put out a call on Twitter looking for instrumentalists, genuinely originally envisioning a super jazzy piano solo, but their synth playing genuinely brought the whole song together perfectly!

That's about it for this song - though again, if there are any more questions people have, I'd be happy to answer them in the replies to this post or elsewhere!! (*ahem*) THAT'S gonna do it for today's video, folks! Feel free to leave a like, comment, hit the subscribe button for more and click the bell so you don't miss any new videos. Tomorrow? I Wish That I Could Fall. it hurts.

[probablyasocialecologist]

Many of Harris’s mistakes were similar to those Hillary Clinton made in 2016. Like Clinton, Harris cozied up to billionaire donors. Mark Cuban, for instance, said he was delighted that Harris was abandoning Democrats’ commitments to progressive principles and letting the business community propose the policies it wanted. Like Clinton, Harris and Tim Walz made hubristic campaign stops in solidly red states like Texas and Kentucky rather than spending the final days laser-focused on crucial battlegrounds. Like Clinton, Harris emphasized celebrity endorsements while failing to successfully court unions. (Most notably, the Teamsters declined to endorse her after she refused to pledge that she wouldn’t break a national railway strike.) Like Clinton, Harris focused too much on the danger of Donald Trump (which is very real) and not enough on the reasons why she would be good at being president herself. Most importantly, like Clinton, Harris ultimately decided upon a strategy of trying to woo moderate Republican voters away from Trump, reasoning that it didn’t matter if doing so alienated progressive voters and the Democratic base. Chuck Schumer, speaking of Hillary’s 2016 strategy, infamously promised: "For every blue-collar Democrat we lose in western Pennsylvania, we will pick up two moderate Republicans in the suburbs in Philadelphia. And you can repeat that in Ohio and Illinois and Wisconsin." In fact, they just lost the blue-collar Democrats and didn’t pick up the Republicans! In 2024, Harris, too, aggressively touted endorsements from Republicans, promised to put a Republican in her cabinet (she even cited that as the answer to what she would have done differently from Biden!), and went so far as to praise and embrace Dick and Liz Cheney! The strategy was an abject failure. Because she wanted to appease both Republicans and progressive voters, Harris had to further indulge her weakness for speaking in meaningless word salads, since taking stances that were meaningful could have alienated one of these constituencies. Trump, who is canny about portraying himself as more anti-war than Democrats, correctly pointed out that an endorsement from the hawkish Cheneys should be a badge of shame, not honor. (Specifically he said Cheney is “"the King of Endless, Nonsensical Wars, wasting Lives and Trillions of Dollars, just like Comrade Kamala Harris. I am the Peace President, and only I will stop World War III!")

[...]

The lesson to Democratic leaders in 2016 should have been that Bernie Sanders had been right, that the party had betrayed working-class voters and would be doomed if it could not effectively counter Trump’s pseudo-populist appeal with a visionary alternative. (See the excellent analysis in Thomas Frank’s Listen, Liberal.) Unfortunately, the lessons weren’t learned then, and it doesn’t seem like they’re going to be learned now, either! MSNBC anchor Joy Reid is already insisting that Kamala Harris’s campaign was “flawless” (because she got “every prominent celebrity voice”), and pundits like Jill Filipovic are saying things like, “this election was not an indictment of Kamala Harris. It was an indictment of America.” (Good luck ever winning with the slogan “You’re the problem, America!”) USAToday’s Michael Stern says that instead of talking about “where the Harris campaign went wrong” we should talk about “where the American people went wrong.” The Harris campaign itself is blaming unspecified “obstacles that were largely out of our control.” 

6 November 2024

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

The State Birds Initiative - Introduction

Before I do ANYTHING else, and before you read anything else...let's start this with a little poll, shall we?

...Look, I'm an overly ambitious person by nature. It's a problem, I'm fully aware. So, in the midst of writing character essays, imagining my own version of the DC Cinematic Universe (I promise, I will return to the Legion of Super-Heroes series; been having writer's block, not gonna lie), and about a dozen other projects that don't include school and my job (one and the same thing, and I love both, but I'll get to that one day)...I had another thought. That I would like to present to the good people of Tumblr (and perhaps beyond).

The state birds suck.

Most people on Tumblr don't know this about me, save for a select few that no me in real life (hey guys, 'sup), but I'm an avid birdwatcher, and am currently working in ornithology as a profession and student. As such, and as a former (and future) teacher, I have a vested passion in spreading the word. And one of the first ways most of us in the United States engage with birds, other than through the world and people around us, is through our national bird and state birds. Oh, and for anybody reading this not from the USA, don't worry, national birds are included here, too.

Now, in case you don't know for whatever reason, each one of the states in the United States has a bird meant to represent the state, designated by the government and often nominated by the state's citizens. This tradition started in 1926, with Kentucky's national bird, the Northern Cardinal (Cardinalis cardinalis). Now, most states have an official state bird, although Pennsylvania technically has a state game bird, rather than a state bird. We'll get to it. But in any case, there's a bird associated with every state.

But, uh...most of them suuuuuuuuuuuck.

Now, for example, I'm not saying that the Northern Cardinal sucks. Far from it! I love cardinals, and honestly, who doesn't? They're handsome birds, they have a lot of character, they're recognizable in most states in the Union by most people. I love them! But, uh...cardinals are extremely overused as state birds. Kentucky chose them as their state bird first, and were followed by Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, North Carolina, West Virginia, and Virginia. That's ridiculous. Also, wait, really, Virginia? You saw that West Virginia had it already, and STILL went for the cardinal? What the hell?

But why? Maybe there's a good reason for all of those states to choose the cardinal, after all. Obviously, it's present in all of those states, because...well, the Northern Cardinal is basically everywhere. But other than that, why? Well, let's see.

Kentucky: Unclear, but it's likely because of its prevalence, songs, and nonmigratory behavior, at least according to some sources; there isn't a lot of evidence online as to why outside of this.

Illinois: For this one, we blame the children. Yeah, kids voted this one sd the symbol, choosing it over the bluebird, meadowlark, bobwhite, and oriole, according to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources. So, yeah, probably because it's familiar and red.

Indiana: For...reasons. Yeah, even less is known about this choice. Safe to assume, though, that it's because it's familiar and red.

Ohio: Apparently, this is because it's red and has a cheerful song. 'Kay. Again, not a lot of evidence for this one, but we'll go with it.

North Carolina: This one also came down to public vote, after a campaign initiated by the North Carolina Bird Club in 1943. It won over the red-winged blackbird, wild turkey, scarlet tanager, and gray catbird. Apparently, this was the second attempt at a state bird, as the Carolina Chickadee (Poecile carolinensis) had been chosen ten years earlier, but only retained the position for a week because the bird's other name is, and this is true, the tomtit. And that was apparently too lewd for the title of state bird. Jesus. We'll get back to that when I address North Carolina officially.

West Virginia: Again, chosen and voted by schoolchildren, and chosen because it's familiar, red, and has a cheerful song. 'Kay.

Virginia: No idea. Also, don't listen to the sites that say their bird "exemplifies the quality of the state" unless they have the GODDAMN PAPERWORK to back that shit up. If I had to guess, it's possibly because the northern cardinal is one of the first birds seen in the state by settlers to the continental USA, who landed in...Virginia. So, the state's got a historical connection to the cardinal, meaning that the last state to ratify it as a state bird is the one to make the most sense to do so.

So, yeah...only one of those makes sense to me. Otherwise, it just feels...random. And by the way, many of the state birds do make some sense. Utah's choice, the California Gull (Larus californicus), has roots in a Mormon miracle, which makes perfect sense for the Mormon state. Louisiana's Brown Pelican (Pelecanus occidentalis) is an iconic species to the American southeast, and a massive proportion of the species breeds in the state. Same goes for the Scissor-tailed Flycatcher (Tyrannus forficatus), the state bird of Oklahoma. Iconic and unique grassland bird, and it breeds within the state in high quantities for the global population.

But others? Why does New York (a state I grew up in and around) have the Eastern Bluebird (Sialia sialis) for its state bird? Because it's blue and nice-looking? Why exactly do Wyoming, Oregon, Nebraska, Kansas, Montana, and North Dakota ALL have the Western Meadowlark (Sturnella neglecta)? I love the song too, and it's an iconic grassland species, but really? All of you? And Maine? Maine...Maine. I mean, you didn't even go for a specific species and just listed "chickadee" as your state bird. Why? There is a MUCH. BETTER. OPTION. OBVIOUSLY. But...I digress.

...FUCK IT

WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH IS MAINE'S STATE BIRD NOT THE ATLANTIC PUFFIN (Fratercula arctica)??? ANSWER ME MAINE GODDAMMIT

Seriously, what the hell? It's the only state IN THE UNION where the Atlantic puffin breeds, and it's an incredibly iconic bird! I mean, look at that thing! They're adorable, fish-eating, clumsy-flying, feathery orbs with a Froot Loops beak (for part of the year), complete with their own fucking cereal that I ate constantly as a child. And their babies are called pufflings! PUFFLINGS!!! DO YOU HEAR ME MAINE WHAT THE FU

...OK. OK. I'm good. Look, this genuinely irritates the SHIT out of me, both as a hobbyist and as a professional. There are near 1,000 bird species that can be found in the United States, and the state birds are, honestly, some basic-ass choices that doesn't BEGIN to explore the incredible diversity of this taxon. And honestly, maybe if we changed up the state birds, we could increase awareness for these animals and their conservation stories and needs. There are so many missed opportunities here for us as educators, birders, ornithologists, backyard birdwatchers, and even Birdblr, to educate those around us who aren't as ornithologically-inclined. Imagine being able to convince a friend to go find the state bird on a trip some weekend. It could be a fun activity, and a fun way to get into birdwatching and the natural world! IT'S GOT POTENTIAL!!!

And look, I realize I'm not alone on this front. Various people have proposed changing up the state birds, including some more powerful professionals than I. If you haven't seen it yet, check out this essay series from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology that came out last year, which asks whether or not eBird could be used to identify better candidates for state birds. And I'll be using it for what's coming next. Because here's the thing. I'm tired of ranting alone in the dark towards nobody while my fiancee is trying to sleep about this. I need to rant to you poor people instead. And what's more...I want people to rant with me. If they want to. So...

TO ME, BIRDBLR!!! LEND ME YOUR BINOCULARS!!!

I propose an initiative to create a new list of state birds for the United States of America. And I'm talkin' EVERY state, baby! Even the ones that have fitting birds, as mentioned above. We live in a GODDAMN DEMOCRACY, and I say that we put this to a vote. So, Imma make a series of polls, one for each state. And yeah, that's 50 polls. Each will have a selection of birds, including the current state bird for that state, and I'll present the options in each case. The rules and selection criteria for the birds I'll present are as follows:

The bird has to be wild and breed in the state in question. No migrants, to accidentals, no introduced species (looking at you, South Dakota), no domestic species (looking at you, Rhode Island and Delaware). They're from the state, they breed there, and they're wild. Don't have to be endemic to the state, but they need to be found there, at bare goddamn minimum.

No repeats! Every state will have a different species! No more repeats. If there are any ties for states to get a given bird, another set of polls will be made at the end to determine which state will get that bird, and the second highest bird will claim the spot for that state. I'll try to avoid that for each state, but we'll see how things go.

There has to be a reason for their selection. For each of the birds presented for each state, I'll make a solid argument for their nomination. This also goes for any birds submitted to me for suggestions (and yes, I mean to say y'all can make suggestions if you want to for each state). If you have a bird you think would be good for a state, especially if it's your state, please give me a reason. Not that it's pretty, not that you like it's song, not that it "represents the spirit of the state's people" for no easily defined reason. GIVE ME A REASON

And for now, that's it! And hell, if this gets popular or demanded (and I'm saying this if, like, 30 people pay attention to this post), I'll also do the District of Columbia and the U.S. territories. And hell (again), I'll even consider doing other countries if that gets demanded, definitely starting with Canada and seeing how things go from there. And finally...if people want it, maybe even the Bald Eagle (Halieetus leucocephalus) will go up for debate as the USA's national bird. Although, not gonna lie, I think that we're stuck with that one. Still, there are other questions that can be brought up if this gets popular enough. For now, though, let's focus on one thing at a time.

So, hopefully you answered the poll at the top, because I am curious as to what you think about your state bird. And just to set this up, the first state on the chopping block is Delaware, which has one of the most offensive state birds, in my opinion. Because seriously. What the fuck, Delaware? What the fuck.

See you soon, hopefully! And happy birding!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Introduction to the State Birds Initiative

Delaware - Poll | Results Pennsylvania - Poll | Results New Jersey - Poll | Results (coming soon) Georgia - incoming!

[todaysdocument]

Letter from Charles D. Levy to President Calvin Coolidge Requesting Protection for Jews from the Ku Klux Klan

Record Group 60: General Records of the Department of JusticeSeries: Straight Numerical FilesFile Unit: 198589, Section 560-619 (5)

198589

Chas. D. Levy

WHOLESALE DRY GOODS

OFFICES AND SALESROOMS

1444-1450 St. Clair Avenue

CLEVELAND OHIO

June 24th, 1924.

[Stamped begin] RESPECTFULLY REFERRED FOR ACKNOWLEDGMENT AND CONSIDERATION.

C.B. Sleuk Secy. to the President [Stamped end]

Honorable Calvin Coolidge,

President of the United States,

Washington, D.C.

My Dear Mr. President:

I have been a staunch Republican for many years, casting my first vote for James. A. Garfield.

I have twenty-three Department Stores located throughout the different towns and cities of Ohio. In some of these towns and cities the Ku Klux Klan organization has placed a boycott on several of my stores, on account of me being fortunate enough to be born a Hebrew, and just as soon as the present leases expire I will be compelled to move from these sections.

In the town of Ashland, Ohio, where one of my stores is located, there was held a meeting in the Public Square, and in front of thousands of spectators who had gathered to hear the speakers, the Ku Klux Klan openly told the audience they should not patronize any Jewish merchant. I think this is just plain boycott and very unfair to an American citizen or even a Non-American citizen.

I have read your platform and taken special notice to the paragraph in which you state that you demand "law and order" and "the protection of all citizens."

All I am asking for is your protection in this matter. If you have promised it for the next four years there is no reason why you cannot give it to us now, as you are The President now, of this glorious country, the same as I hope you will be for the next four years.

I await your kind reply for which I thank you in advance.

Very sincerely,

Chas. D. Levy

[betterthanburrow]

Heisman Award Ceremony - Instagram AU

(LSU Quarterback! Joe Burrow x Social Media Influencer! OC)

liked by 10,700 users

HeismanTrophy: The 2019 Heisman Finalists have arrived and taken NYC by storm - Welcome to the Big Apple 🍎 #Heisman #Heisman2019 #Finalists #Collegefootball #NYC

view all 101 comments

username1: look how handsome those boys are!

username2: if Burrow doesn’t win, i’m killing mysrlf.

liked by joeyb_9 and 55,009 more users

yourusername: I ❤️ New York (📸 : @.joeyb_9)

view all 7,055 comments

yourbestfriend: you are MISS NEW YORK!

↳ yourinstagram: 😘

username1: @.joeyb_9 your gf is so pretty

username2: are you going to the Heisman Award Ceremony tomorrow?!

↳ yourinstagram: yes i am ☺️

username3: 😍😍😍

yourmom: i’m so glad you’re having fun in new york! make sure to send me all of the pictures from your adventures in the city! ❤️

↳ yourinstagram: i will, i promise! ❤️

joeyb_9: out of all the pictures i took, you only posted one photo?!

↳ yourinstagram: we can’t overwhelm people with too much content from New York just yet! … you really need to learn how to use social media.

yourinstagram story updates:

viewed by joeyb_9 and 10,999 more users

liked by 7,550 users

HeismanTrophy: It’s almost time...who’s taking home the trophy? Comment your Heisman winner below! #Heisman #2019Heisman #Collegefootball #NCAA #finalist

view all 130 comments

username1: it better be one of the Ohio boys!

username2: JOE BURROW FOR THE WIN!

username3: recount the votes if the white man wins…

liked by joeyb_9 and 99,050 more users

yourinstagram: like this IG Post if you voted for LSU Quarterback Joe Burrow to win the Heisman Trophy!

view all 33,055 comments:

joeyb_9: no photo credits this time?!

↳ yourinstagram: stop caring about the photo credit and start paying attention to the Heisman Ceremony!

liked by yourinstagram and 10,990 more users

LSUfootball: The 2019 Heisman Trophy Winner

view all 999 comments

username1: MY FAVORITE WHITE BOY WON!

username2: THAT’S MY QUARTERBACK!

username3: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

username4: his speech made my whole family cry!

liked by joeyb_9 and 110,550 more users

yourusername: there aren’t enough words to describe how proud i am of you Joe! you proved all the people that have ever doubted you wrong tonight! i’m so honored to have been able to stand by your side for the past 2 years and i’m excited for your future career 💛

view all 10,109 comments

joeyb_9: i love you 💛

↳ yourinstagram: i love you too 💛

liked by yourinstagram and 320,999 more users

joeyb_9: They said I couldn’t...

They said I wouldn’t...

I just did.

view all 55,009 comments

yourinstagram: you did do it! and i’m so proud 💛

↳ joeyb_9: i couldn’t do this without you 💛

Author’s Note:

how long has it been since i published the last Instagram AU?! i had to do just one last Instagram AU for the year!

if you have an Instagram AU Request, send the IG AU Request to my Inbox and i’ll try to get the Requested Instagram AU published as fast as i can!

thank you for all the love and support! 🤍

[typicalopposite]

👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻 I'm soooo curious for this one!!!!

Well here you go then! 🫶🫶 20ishhhh more sentences of the new Tommy mpreg fic 🫶

(Five Months Later) 

“Kinard!” Captain Torrence barks, jolting Tommy awake— he didn’t even realize he was falling asleep. “I’m sorry, am I boring you?” 

“No sir…” Tommy mutters. He tries to not make the situation worse by yawning, but can’t help it as he straightens himself in his seat and stretches. This earns him muffled laughter from his team, to which he rolls his eyes and ignores. To call them his team almost feels like a reach at this point… they’re his co-workers at best, and really just a bunch of strangers. 

Lucy transferred upstate a few months back, and Melvin took to being a Fire Marshall a little too well after an injury took him out of the sky temporarily (or it was supposed to be temporarily…); he randomly decided he didn’t want to come back to the dangers of being a firefighter pilot. Kate and Harrison got married and moved to Ohio— of all places, and Jones reenlisted; his last day was a week ago. Even the captain is new— he was only supposed to stand in while Collier had hip surgery… then the old fucker up and retired. 

Tommy is surrounded by new faces, and the ones that aren’t new never spoke to him to begin with. Work has gone from a get away from the loneliness of his empty home (and empty life), to an even more miserable just more crowded loneliness; he hates it. He has never felt so on his own in his life… even when he went through his extreme hermit stage after breaking up with Evan, where he shut everyone out. Lucy put a stop to that quickly, and with the assistance of Sal he was dragged out of his burrow and forced to face the world with the new reality of the decision he made (regardless of how idiotic they both thought it was) and move on. 

Sal— his best friend at times, biggest headache at others— unfortunately hasn’t lived in LA since a year after Bobby transferred him. He flew in to help Lucy, then flew out with the promise of checking in regularly to make sure Tommy’s stupid ass (his words exactly) doesn’t go all Bella Swan in the second Twilight.

It’s Jones’ replacement— some smart mouth kid transferred in from the 133— that makes the first remark. Tommy has just settled on the couch with his lunch. “Really… tuna nachos. Again, Kinard?”

Tommy looks at the plate he has just finished assembling: a handful of tortilla chips loaded with queso, salsa, jalapeños, guacamole… and canned tuna. Different, sure; delicious, definitely. Any of this nosey kid’s business? Absolutely not. 

<3<3<3<3<3

Make Me Write!

[bitbybitwrites]

It's been awhile again since I've done any of these - lately computer issues have kept me from writing, but here's a few snippets ( one Klaine and one FirstPrince WIP) that I was working on before my computer decided to be a pain in my ass.

Thanks to the following people for tagging me for WIP Wednesday and Six/Seven/Several Sentence Sunday in the past few weeks ( if I forgot anyone in this list below I'm sorry!):

@taste-thewaste @thighzp @porcelainmortal @getmehighonmagic @littlemisskittentoes

@thesleepyskipper @alasse9 @stratocumulusperlucidus @softboynick @sophie1973

@sheepywritesfics @onthewaytosomewhere

Snippets are under the cut.

***

1.) From If I Can Make Your Heart My Home ( Klaine fic) cc @datshitrandom

“But you never came by when I was awake.”

“I . . I was too afraid to hear what you’d say if you saw me.”

The blood began to pulse in Blaine’s ears.  “What did you think I would have said?”

Kurt sighed.  Now he was the one averting his eyes.

“That you never wanted to see me again.  That you hated me. . .” he murmured.  “I . . I hurt you, Blaine.  I can’t change how badly I fucked up.  I know I did.  I know I did big time.  And . . it was . . it was horrible of me to do everything that I did. Because you are right.  You deserved so much better than that.”

Kurt stood up and began to pace nervously.  “Look.  I was afraid. Hell, I still am a bit.  Afraid that maybe Sebastian was right.”

Blaine sat up straighter at the mention of the younger Smythe’s name. “’What?  What did Sebastian say to you?”

 Kurt flinched at the sharpness in Blaine’s tone.  “He . . he said . .” Kurt wrapped his arms around himself, sinking back into the other end of the couch.  “Sebastian said that . . I was nothing but a novelty to you. A joke . . basically some sort of low brow entertainment for you on the side.  I wasn’t anything that was worth your time. And there was no way I could be able to keep up with your . . lifestyle . . .”

Blaine paled.  “Kurt . . I would never . . you. . .you don’t really believe I felt that way . . .”

Kurt let out a wet laugh.  He shrugged his shoulders.  “No . . but . . Blaine, come on.  What could I possibly give to you?  I can’t take you to fancy restaurants or trips out to the Hamptons. I don’t own a penthouse or a limo.  I don’t even own a restaurant.  I’m just this  . .  this nobody from a rural town in Ohio. . . You’re . .”

“Don’t.  Don’t say it.”

“You’re an Anderson, Blaine.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I might have to disagree.” Blaine muttered

Kurt shook his head, his expression sofenting.  “Look, if you take your father out of the picture, the Andersons are pretty amazing.  They are caring and selfless. They are philanthropic and so loving and open-hearted.  You. . . your brother. . . your grandmother.  You’re all the same.  And it's wonderful.”

*****

2.) From Puppy Love (FirstPrince fic) - cc @omgbarbiegurl

“Now do you have all of your stuff?  Remember you’re at Tia Nora’s tonight.”

Raf nodded.  “I packed everything.  Even a ball so I can play with Tia Nora’s next door neighbor.”

“That’s nice.” Alex said as he hustled around his apartment, shutting off lights.

“He’s adopted and he’s really nice. Sometimes he’s allowed to come over and play with me if I stay over.”

“You finish your homework first, right?” Alex asked

Raf sighed and rolled his eyes.  “Yes.  Tia Nora won’t let me do ANYTHING until I finish my homework first.”

“That’s good.  Glad you made a friend over at Nora’s.”

“Papi?”

Alex  hummed as he started flicking through his phone , partly to see if there were any new work messages from Liam or June, partially to see if Henry had texted him. “Yeah, mijo?”

“Are you sure we can’t have a dog?”

“Raf . .”

“I’d take care of it really well, I promise . .  .” the little boy pleaded.

Alex knelt down as he could be more at eye level.  “Hey, I know you want one.  But it wouldn’t be fair to a puppy to be left alone so much - with my work schedule and then you not even being home at at Tia Nora’s place.”

“But we could bring it there.”

“Tia Nora is doing me a HUGE favor by watching you when she can.  It wouldn’t be fair if I gave her 2 kids to look after - a human one  AND a furry one.”

Raf pouted, crossing his arms.  “I don’t think she’d mind.”

Alex pulled his son into a tight hug.  “Once everything kind of slows down and we can get things settled so we’re home more, we’ll look into it.  Until then, you always can come with me to the rescue and help out playing with the animals who don’t have homes yet.  They get pretty lonely there sometimes.”

A small dramatic sigh erupted from the small frame in Alex’s arms.   He had to bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. 

“OK . . but can I do it soon?” Raf asked.

“I’ll check the schedule with Tia June and we’ll see what we can do.”

“¿Prometes? (You promise)” Raf asked as he held out his pinky to his dad eagerly.

“Si.  Lo prometo, mijo.(Yes, I promise, son.)” Alex said with a smile.

****

And for anyone who may want to play . . a BIG OPEN TAG . . but also:

@myheartalivewrites, @gleefulpoppet @wowbright @14carrotghoul @iboatedhere

@itsmaybitheway @little-escapist @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @sarkyblueeyes @tailsbeth-writes

@rmd-writes @cha-melodius @madas-ahatters-world @kirakiwiwrites @shegoestoeleven

[fruitycutie]

Debate thoughts and quickie analysis!

The main reason Democrat and Republican debates have been historically frustrating is because it's always: Step 1: Republican makes outlandish, false claim about democrats or immigrants or what have you! Step 2: The Democrat responds with, "well no, actually, um" and doesn't actually face or address how INSANE Republican statements are in the first place. Step 3: The Republican, having already won, sneers the whole time and controls the conversation. This has been the case for 90% of recent american history. I am glad to see that that is NOT the case anymore. Kamala is actually doing really good, AND the moderators were on point, too. Like, for example, actually asking critical questions to both, and providing fact checks when Trump says that immigrants are EATING YOUR PETS, Substantiating that they already talked to the mayor of Springfield, Ohio and that there is absolutely no evidence found of something that- lets face it- is just one person's brain worms. It spread from one person's probably ill mind, and became a MAJOR REPUBLICAN POINT! It's that easy. And now it's completely gone because of course it is, its a total fabrication and in 2024 those don't fly anymore because we don't live in ignorance of Trump's strategies anymore. This whole thing just shows how desperate, vile and awful they are, that this is ALL they have after all. Honestly though, just seeing the people making bullshit up on the defensive is great! So I enjoyed the debate a lot. That being said, I want to talk about the fact that I was also pleasantly surprised. I expected it to be more 50/50, truth be told. I do think Kamala, like any other Dem, has a little bit of liberal syndrome - which is pretty standard for Democrats, it's just their bread and butter weakness, but she's definitely the best in that regard - which is why she's actually doing well! What do I mean by that? Well, it's simple. Democrats make this mistake of thinking that they're as equally left as Republicans are right - which is only a little bit, in this theory - and we can unite as a people, if we just try. Meanwhile, the reality of the situation is that the Democrats live in the real world, where people matter and policies affect them, while to be completely honest, Republicans live in the AI power fantasy where the Shadow Qabbal Border Tzar Trans Alien Prison Immigrants from Mexico are killing every aspect of the american dream you love and schools are where your Children transition by Force, you can trademark half of those buzzwords if you want. And you damn well know that if it were convenient for them, they'd include Jews in that, too. The point is, that is fundamentally not something you can compromise with. Because to compromise with something, it has to like, already exist in REALITY, right? And their ideas just don't. To summarize I guess, the main mistake Dems make is that they believe they'll get more of the Republican voter base if they move right slightly. BUT THAT NEVER WORKS!!! Because, the people voting for trump are ALL cultists, who are stuck up their own ass about emotional messaging and DO NOT care for empiricism, DO NOT care for results or outcomes, all they care about is being right that trump is their american savior. After all, as soon as Trump lost in 2020- a verifiable fact with NO room for empirical debate without changing the meaning of the word "lose", a shitstorm of false accusations about the election being stolen happened, the Capitol riot happened, not to mention even that Trump keeps promising that if he gets elected, nobody will have to vote again. Like - come on, it's so transparently fascism, to the point where even the most irrationally opposed to the term have to see it. You cannot reason or compromise with people like that, it's just not possible. Kamala has been better about this than all democrats up to her, easily, but she's still not perfect. And I hope this is completely understood by democrats going forward, if the Republican enstablishment doesn't change it's ways.

[izzielizzie93]

High School Sweethearts, J Burrow

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Pairing: Highschool!JoeBurrow x Y/N High School Sweetheart

Summary: Do high school relationships last?

“What the fuck is this Y/N?!” Joe was sitting on my bed, holding up the hidden acceptance letter to The Ohio State. “I, uh, an acceptance letter.” I stuttered. “Why are you hiding it?” He glared, clutching it tighter, his eyes continually scanning over the page. “I wanted time to think and I knew I wouldn’t be able to once everyone found out.”

“I just needed to be sure of what I want, this is my future and I am so sick of everyone trying to tell me what to do.”

Joe huffed and shook his head. “Were you ever considering it, or did you lie to me this whole time?” “Of course I am considering it Joey, I want to be with you; but I have always dreamed of LSU.” I swallowed hard, digging my nails into my hand to keep from crying.

“You want to be a fucking teacher, come on you don’t have to go out of state for that shit.” Joe tossed the letter aside.

“Oh, ok. So when you told me to do what made me happy and that it would all work out in the end, you were lying to me?” I shot back, anger now bubbling to the surface.

“I was hoping you’d see that Ohio is where you need to be, apparently not.” Joe mumbled, standing up abruptly and storming out of my bedroom.

—

I had come clean to my parents as soon as Joe left and they promised to support me no matter my choice.

After two weeks of heated arguments in person, via text, and FaceTime, Joe officially committed to The Ohio State and their football team and I wasn’t there.

I was at home, formally accepting the offer from LSU and becoming a Tiger.

Later that same night, Joe stopped by and I snuck out to his truck. We sat there in silence for nearly five minutes before I spoke, “So you’re officially a Buckeye.” “You’re officially a Tiger.” He shot back. “Yeah.” I nodded. “So, we’re done.” Joe said flatly and I felt my chest tighten as my eyes filled with tears.

“We don’t have to be.” I sniffled. “Y/N, how the hell are we going to keep this up being so far apart?” Joe clenched his steering wheel. “What happened to all of the ways you came up with when we stayed up night after night filling out applications?” I asked. “I never thought we’d have to act on them.” He sighed, “I never thought I’d be without you.”

“Joe, we’re both going to be so busy in a few months. We don’t need to make any decisions now.” I reached out and he folded his hands in his lap. Dropping my hands back down, I was about to speak when Joe said, “I think it’s best if we do this now. It’s over.” I bit my lip hard as I rushed out of his truck, wanting to hold in my sobs so he didn’t see.

—

“Congratulations to the class of 2015!” I threw my cap up in the air and began to hug and celebrate with those around me. Glancing down the row, I met Joe’s gaze. We stared for a moment before I gave a small wave; which he returned.

A week later, I was all packed and ready to hit the road. My parents were in the U Haul and my sister was keeping me company in my car on the 18 hour trip. Just as I got into my car, my phone pinged.

~Good luck, Tiger~

__________

This was super short; but I’ve never posted anything I’ve written and I just wanted to put something out there! Thank you to those who read this! Should I make a part 2 after they’ve started college?

(Also I tend to stick to first person even with Y/N but do more people prefer second person and using you?)

[mamaestapa]

Late Night Chat

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/N Y/L/N moved to Cincinnati, Ohio for a new start. Move in day arrives and she discovers something terrible...the apartment complex gave her the wrong lease. Instead of living with who she originally was supposed to, she's now living with the hottest quarterback in the NFL, Joe Burrow. Y/N is stuck living in the same apartment with him for a year...which the two are not thrilled about. However, as time goes on, they realize that maybe this wasn't the worst thing that could happen to them. Will Y/N and Joe stay enemies, or will they find themselves falling in love?

•chapter summary: There’s a storm in Cincinnati and you and Joe realize maybe the other isn’t so bad after all…

•word count: 3.4k

•warnings: sexual themes, slight angst, lots of fluff, i think that’s it?

series masterlist

——————————————————

November 2, 2022

You tossed and turned for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. The heavy rain, light flashes of lightning and loud rumbles of thunder have kept you awake since the strong storm started a couple hours ago.

You tapped your phone, huffing out a sigh of annoyance when you saw the time: 4:13 am.

You pulled the comforter off of your body and got out of bed. You took your phone off it's charger and grabbed your soft white blanket before walking out of your room and into the kitchen.

You decided to make a cup of hot tea. Your mom would always make tea for you during a storm when you were younger because something about it helped calm you down. You never have been a fan of strong thunderstorms. You love rain and a little thunder here and there, but when frequent lightning, severe storm warnings and tornado watches are added into the mix, then you get nervous.

As you were getting the tea bag out of the container from the cupboard, the power flickered. You knew it was bound to happen soon, considering how strong of a storm it is. Once the power goes out completely though, any hopes of falling back to sleep any time soon will be gone.

The Keurig beeped, signaling that the tea was done. You grabbed a spoon from the drawer next to the dishwasher and as soon as you placed the end of the spoon into the coffee cup, the power went out. The apartment was now pitch black and completely silent. You felt around the counter for your phone, but you didn't feel anything. You sighed, realizing you left it on the chair in the living room with your blanket. You placed the coffee cup back down on the marble countertop, deciding to find your phone first before you tried to walk anywhere with the hot tea in your hands. You slowly walked out of the kitchen, careful not to-

WHACK.

You gasped at the sudden feeling of your body hitting another body. You let out a yelp, fearing the worst. This would be the perfect time for someone to break in and MURDER YOU!?!

You screamed as you felt a hand reach out and touch your arm.

"Y/n, hey! It's just me."

Your heart was pounding against your chest as you sighed in relief. It wasn't an intruder, just Joe.

"Thank god," you breathed out, placing your hand on your chest, "I thought you were some psycho that broke in."

He chuckled, "I might be a little crazy, but I wouldn't say i'm a psycho. But I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

You nodded, even though you knew he couldn't see you, "It's okay."

"What are you doing up right now?"

"I couldn't sleep. Storms like this have always made it impossible for me to sleep."

Just as you finished your sentence, a loud crack of thunder shook the apartment. You jumped under Joe's touch, causing him to grip your arm tightly, yet so gentle at the same time.

"Hey, you're OK," he said softly, "promise."

"I know, I've just always gotten a little scared over severe weather."

You heard Joe sigh as he removed his hand from your arm, "Well, I'm afraid this storm won't stop anytime soon. Did you try to get any sleep?"

You shrugged, "A little. I came out here to make some tea and sit on the couch for a bit until I could fall back asleep, but now that there's no power I don't think I'll be able to."

"Stay here for a second. Do you have your phone?"

"No, it's on the couch."

Joe's face lit up from the light of his phone screen. He turned the flashlight on causing your eyes to be drawn to his lit up body.

His dirty blonde hair was messy and his blue eyes looked tired. He didn't have a shirt on, just a pair of gray joggers. You looked away from him as he walked into the living room and grabbed your phone from the chair. He walked back into the kitchen and handed it to you.

"Here. Go sit in the living room. I'll be right back."

You turned on your flashlight, grabbing your tea from the counter and heading into the living room. A big flash of lightning lit up the apartment as you placed the mug down on a coaster and sat on the chair. You had just thrown the blanket over your legs when Joe walked back into the living room, holding onto a lantern, lots of candles, and a lighter.

He sat the lantern down on the table, along with the many candles.

"Where'd you get all those candles?" you asked.

Joe picked up the lighter, lighting each candle one by one.

"You want the real reason or?" he trailed off with a smirk.

"I knew it. Pre-game orgy right?"

Joe chuckled, "Damn, I guess you caught me. I'll have to tell Ja'Marr to cancel next weeks then."

You laughed at his response before taking a sip of your tea and asking him, "Okay but seriously, why do you have all these candles?"

Joe had a somber look on his face as he looked down at the candles. He sucked in a breath as he lit the last candle.

"Every year my ex-girlfriend and I would light these on our anniversary. It was tradition for us. One of us would come home and have some sort of romantic dinner set up for the other," he examined the candle as he continued speaking, a soft smile appeared on his face, "and we'd light these candles, put them out on the table or the bedroom." he put the candle back down, "was very romantic."

You frowned, feeling terrible for making him bring up his ex.

"I'm sorry Joe, I didn't mean to-."

He cut you off, "Don't be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong. You asked, I answered." He picked up the lantern that looked like it would be used for camping and turned it on. The light from the many candles and lantern made the living room light up with a soft yellow glow.

Joe placed the lantern down in the middle of coffee table and looked at you, "There, now I can see that beautiful fa- light."

You looked at Joe with raised eyebrows as he stood by the couch, rubbing the back of his neck. It almost sounded like he was going to say face and not light...but who knows, you’re probably just hearing things.

"Well, I think I'm going to try to get some sleep. Good night Y/n.”

He started to walk away, getting ready to walk into his bedroom when you called out to him.

"Joe?"

He stopped and turned around, "Yeah?"

"Stay? Please, I don't really want to be alone right now." you said softly as a blush made it's way onto my cheeks.

Joe slowly nodded and smiled softly at you.

"Okay. Let me grab a sweatshirt first."

He disappeared into his room and a few minutes later came back into the living room wearing his pink Nike sweatshirt and carrying a gray blanket. He plopped down on the couch and draped the blanket over his legs. As the two of you sat in silence for a few moments, the storm continued. The rain grew heavier and the thunder more frequent. Joe noticed you had started to get tense.

He cleared his throat, "You know, we've lived together for almost two months now and I feel like I don't know you."

It's true. You and Joe have been living together for a few months now, but neither of you have taken the chance to get to know the other. You weren't on good terms for a little while, but you think you both have started to warm up to each other. You have to get to know each other at some point if you’re going to live together for the next seven or eight months. Now would be the perfect time to do that.

"What do you wanna know?" you asked, tucking your legs up onto the chair.

He shrugged, "Tell me about yourself."

"Usually I'd start with my name, but you already know that," you smiled, making him chuckle softly, you continued, "I'm twenty five years old, I was born in Denver,Colorado. I grew up in Arizona though. I moved to Tucson when I was two. I lived there my whole life, went to college at the University of Arizona and graduated with a bachelors degree in fashion design. Um, I moved to Phoenix when I graduated and I worked for a fashion magazine for a few years. I took a lot of work trips, Cincinnati was one of them, and I fell in love with the city so that's how I got here.”

Joe nodded, "Nice. Do you miss Arizona?"

"Sometimes. All my family and friends live there, but I needed a change. There's better opportunities for me here in Cincinnati."

Joe just nodded. You decided to ask him the same question he asked you.

"Okay your turn, tell me about yourself."

He sighed and sat up on the couch, looking at you as he spoke, "I'm twenty five, I'm the quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals, I'm a Heisman trophy winner, a national champion,"

You smiled as he rattled off all of accomplishments. He had a lot to be proud of.

"Yeah, yeah I know all that stuff. Tell me something I wouldn't know."

He smiled, "Okay. Well, I was born in Iowa, but I moved to a small town in Ohio called Athens when I was a few years old. I grew up there and then when I graduated high school I went to Ohio State."

"Did you play football there?" you asked, genuinely curious since you only knew he played at LSU.

"I'm getting there, hold on."

You chuckled and let him continue.

"So while I was at Ohio State, I redshirted my Freshman year and was a backup during my Sophomore and Junior year."

You raised your eyebrows, "So you didn't play at all?"

"I mean I played, but not as much as I wanted to. I didn't want to be on the bench for my whole college football career, so I transferred to LSU after I graduated from OSU with my bachelor degree."

"Did you want to leave Ohio?"

He shrugged, "I mean I didn't want to leave, but I thought it was best for my career."

You nodded, showing him you understood. You thought the same thing when you left Arizona to come to Ohio.

"So I moved to Louisiana. Became starting quarterback for LSU and was working towards my Masters degree. Um, In the twenty nineteen, twenty twenty season, our team finished with a fifteen and 0 record and we beat Clemson in the National Championship. I graduated from LSU with a Masters in Liberal Arts and then I moved back home to Ohio, lived with my parents for a bit and then I got drafted by the Bengals."

You didn't know a lot of the stuff Joe was telling you, so it was very nice to here his story and get to him better.

"You've got a good story Joe."

He smiled, "Yeah. I wouldn't be where I am without the people who got me here though. My story may be pretty awesome, but I wouldn't be here without them. But," he stretched, causing his voice to be strained, "that's a story for another day."

He brought his arms down and changed positions on the couch so he was facing you. Both of you were wide awake now as the storm continued to rage on.

"Let's play twenty questions." Joe stated, "we go back and forth, they'll be simple. I'll go first."

"Okay, sounds good." you giggled, picking up your tea and taking a sip.

"Favorite color?"

"Y/F/C. You?"

"Ohhh, fancy." Joe teased, "I like orange."

You rolled your eyes.

"What?" Joe asked, a wide grin on his face.

"Orange, seriously? It's only because your teams color is orange isn't it?"

He laughed, "No, no. I've always liked the color orange."

You laughed, "Sure. Okay next question, um...other than football, what sports did you play in high school?"

"So I played football obviously, and I also played basketball."

"Ah," you nodded, "quite the athlete."

He chuckled, "Yeah. What about you?"

"I ran cross country my Junior year and played soccer all four years of high school. I didn't enjoy cross country, but I loved soccer."

"You play in college?" Joe asked.

You shook your head, "No, it was just something I did in high school."

"Yeah, that's how I felt about basketball." A smirk grew on his face as he spoke, "I got one. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?"

"I have three piercings, my ears and belly button. And one tattoo," you hesitated, "that is in a location that I won't name."

Joe smirked, "Oh?" his smirk dropped and eyes widened, "Do, do you have a tramp stamp?"

You let out a laugh and covered your mouth as your laughter continued. Joes smirk turned into a grin a the sound of your laugh. You composed yourself and shook your head, "No! Oh my god, I don't have a tramp stamp."

Joe cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at you, “Then where is it?

You face turned red as you said, jokingly, "If you're lucky maybe you'll find out."

"I'll hold you to it," he winked.

You rolled your eyes as a small smile made its way onto your face. You were actually enjoying your time talking to Joe. It was nice to get your mind off the storm, plus, it was nice getting to know him.

You continued to play twenty questions for the next hour or so as the storm continued and the was power still out. You told Joe that your favorite movie is How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, your favorite takeout is bar food, and that you had a dog named Lola growing up. You learned that Joe likes cats more than dogs, he enjoys watching Game of Thrones, and that he secretly loves Taylor Swift.

You think playing this silly game has made you realize maybe Joe isn't so bad after all.

You think there's a chance you and Joe could be friends after tonight.

"You know," you said, a playful smirk on your face, "you're not as bad as I thought you were, Joe."

Joe chuckled, "I could say the same about you."

You smiled at him and pulled the blanket closer to your body as you snuggled further into the chair, leaning your head on your hand. You could feel your eyes starting to grow heavy, but you stayed awake for a little while longer.

"So Joe," you smirked, "you talk to Amelia lately?"

Joe shook his head as a smile pulled at his lips.

"No, I haven't spoken to her since our date."

"That's too bad."

He shrugged, "Eh, I knew it wasn't going to work out. It's not a huge deal."

You just nodded. He knows what he wants. That's good, I guess?

"You meet anyone special yet?" He asked, seeming like he was genuinely curious.

You smiled, "Yeah, there's a few." you felt your face heat up as you thought about Evan, specifically. The two of you have started to talk more and more as the weeks have gone on.

He even asked you out on a date.

Which you said yes to. You figured it wouldn't hurt to go out on a date with Evan. He is such a sweet guy. It would be nice for you to go downtown for an evening, and going with Evan makes it even better.

The only issue though: you haven't told Joe about the date.

He doesn't really need to know though. It's none of his business who you go out with it, right?

You’re just going to go out with Evan to see how things go. If there's something there, there's something there. You don't want to force anything or rush into a relationship too quickly either.

But, you have nothing to worry about. You have a really good feeling about Evan.

Joe smiled, "Well I'm glad you're starting to meet some people.”

"Yeah?" you asked, a small smile making its way onto your face.

"Yeah." He stated with a nod as his soft smile was still displayed on his lips. Even though he was smiling, you could see Joe carried a slight sense of disappointment in his demeanor.

Weird... you thought to yourself. You shrugged it off, figuring you were just mistaking his tiredness as disappointment.

You and Joe continued to make small conversation for the next twenty minutes as the storm passed. As he was telling you a story about his Junior prom, you felt your eyes grow heavier and heavier. Soon, you were taken over by a peaceful slumber, falling asleep and staying asleep on the chair in the living room for the rest of the night.

Joe's pov:

"And then we went back to my best friends house and..." I let out a chuckle as I saw Y/n had fallen asleep on the chair. I smiled softly as I watched her chest rise and fall with each breath she took.

She looked so peaceful, yet so uncomfortable at the same time.

I threw the blanket off of my body and stood from the couch, stretching my limbs. I was exhausted. I could have easily slept through the storm, but Y/n asked me to keep her company, and I couldn't say no.

So I stayed up for an hour and a half just talking to Y/n. It was nice. I've learned a lot about her and I think it's safe to say she and I have both realized maybe we're not so bad after all. We started off on the wrong foot, but things are already looking better after our conversations from tonight.

I blew out all of the small candles on the table before grabbing the blanket and my phone from the couch. Items in hand, I walked over to Y/n, who was curled up on the chair with her head resting on her arm that was draped over the arm rest. I smiled to myself and pulled her blanket up further so it covered her bare shoulders. The movement of the blanket caused her to move in her sleep. I grimaced as I saw her move, thinking I had just woken her up. She only snuggled further into the couch, adjusting her arm so it was more comfortable for her to lay on.

"Goodnight, sweets. Sleep well." I whispered, knowing she was sound asleep so she wouldn't hear me.

As I started to walk away, I heard a faint voice say, "G'night Joe."

I stopped in my tracks and turned around, seeing Y/n re-adjust herself once again before falling back to sleep. I smiled. She probably didn't even realize she woke up momentarily to say goodnight to me. I turned back around and made my way back into my bedroom. I got into my bed, getting under the covers and laying my head down. I let out a sigh as laid in bed and looked up at the ceiling. My thoughts wandered to the last couple hours. It made me happy knowing Y/n and I were finally—well hopefully finally, on good terms with each other.

I did exactly what Logan told me to do if I wanted to make things better between us.

Just get to know her.

So that's what I did. I think it's safe to say it worked. Y/n isn't so bad after all and I think she feels the same way about me now.

I don't know what exactly it is that I'm feeling about Y/n, but I do know one thing.

I care about her a lot more than I should as just her roommate.

hey loves!

so you and joe are finally starting to get along, we're going to see some drama soon…it's gettin' good!

this is definitely my favorite chapter i've written so far for this story!

i hope everyone is enjoying this story, it's been so much fun to write. i appreciate all of the comments, votes and views. your excitement for updates and love for the series makes me so happy!! i appreciate every single one of you🤍

tags:

@jackharloww @ilovejoeburroww @dandelionwrites8 @ijustcrypretty @sinners-98-world @a-moment-captured @stainednailpolishremover @spooky-stoner

[equallyshaw]

my new york girl | adam fantilli

a fantilli x oc !

@tinafromny: new yorker in ohio part 1/?

4.5k likes, 209 comments.

|| @lhughes_06: im a meme...?

@tinafromny: yes sir u are 🦅

@edwards.73: am I a babygirl ?

@tinafromny: ew gross

@dylanduke25: the last one 🥺

@tinafromny: ik the carhartt .. so American

@adamfantilli: loml

@tinafromny: babygirl

@edwards.74: TINA

@tinafromny: ETHAN

@childrenoftheyost: we'll we get a tina from NY sighting soon?

@tinafromny: yknow it! have to see baby luca 🙈

@luca.fantilli: im not the baby...

@tinafromny: when you can grow a beard better than a...snap me

@luca.fantill: ADAM

@adamfantilli: ?

@gavin.brindley: baby luca 🫶🏻

@tina'sbff: Tina in ohio pt 1/1 u can never leave me again

@tinafromny: ummmmmmmm

@tina'sbff: she has a flight booked already i presume @adamfantilli

@adamfantilli: 🙃🙃

@parsonsny: Tina from ny is serving in the first and third 😌

@tinafromny: love y'all to jupitar and back !

@dylanduke25: did you have fun tho?

@tinefromny: its Ohio dyl...you cant possibly have fun in that state

@tylerduke: RUDE-- youre uninvited to the lake this summer

@alyssa_duke: wait but I like her??

@tinafromny: hi guys I went back (:

7.8k likes, 455 comments.

||

@lhughes_06: why everytime i come here i am abused

@tinafromny: because ur u and im me

@tinafromny: also ur an easy target

@dylanduke25: she said what she said

@gavin.brindley: the 4th is giving

@adamfantilli: its giving 'im running on 0 coffee this morning'

@Nolan_moyle: MOOSE

@seamscasey26: MOOSEY

@mackie.samo: he's passenger princess?

@tinafromny: yes bc he scares me when driving...as do all Canadians driving in this god for saken country

@tina'sbff: thats the new yorker in ya

@tinafromny: in the most brooklyn accent

@adamfantilli: passenger princess for life🥺

@lianabarzal: need u back in ny and get ur cute butt to long island

@tinafromny: omg babe yes -- im comin!

@adamfantilli: come back

@tinafromyny: I promise soon bubs

@nickblankenburg: pls do...he looks like a sad and wet puppy

@rutgetmcgroarty: the michigan hat...come back soon adam 🥺

@adamfantilli: soon!

@johnnyorlando: he's just ... ken (?) and youre barbie

@tinafromny: yeah and thats why he's not allowed inside my apt

@tina'sbff: he would moja doja house it so badly...

@tinafromny: we've already have enough rats in NY we don't need one inside

@adamfantili: blocking u rn

@luca.fantilli: ur a rat ada

@tinafromny: my rat ;)

@adamfantilli: love me some ny

87.9k likes, 1.2k comments.

||

@tinafromny: oh woah -- a hard launch?

@adamfantilli: ofc

@tinafromny: i feel so seen

@adamfantilli: anything for my love

@luca.fantilli: did you seriously have to steal my bestie ?

@adamfantilli: did you have to steal my girl????

@tinafromny: omg

@tinafromny: guys guys i can be two places at once !

@edwards.74: time travelor!!!!

@tinafromny: nah im just an avid ft user

@johnnyorlando: and insta liver

@tinafromny: yeah...because u won't let adam give me your # so buh bye orlando

@johnnyorlando: I have good reasons

@adamfantilli: take this to the live pls

@johnnyorlando: they grow up so fast 😢

@Luca.fantill: ur crying? im crying

@tinafromny: can confirm

@tina'sbff: ur alright canadian dude

@adamfantilli: ur alright too pigeon

@tinafromny: LONG LIVE MY PIGEON

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

hope you all enjoyed! please like and reblog if you did !!!

🤍🤍🤍🤍

Tags: @jayda12 @cuttergauthier @slafgoalskybaby