#i am not afraid to draw mpreg too

[tsunderedetector]

A message to people who think using AI image generation is better than real art;

I will can draw you pregnant.

[citrusazalea]

I ummm, welll... *You can keep this private if you prefer ^^;* since you're seemingly not afraid to draw Benson with a tummy either, may I request some sweet Pregson shenanigans? If you're comfortable with it!

Like, I'm running wild with a bit of story in which Gene regrets not having spent enough quality time with his family and now he doesn't see his son anymore, and there's something about Benson that makes him feel protective of him and bby, like how he once possibly felt about his wife while she was expecting?😳🫠

(silly fastforward: They raise Stella together, Gene gets custody of the son too) I'll find my way out now ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ🚪🏃

Me when I get an ask from THE Treen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OKAY OKAY I AM NORMAL!!!

Alright so on more heart-to heart matters, I need to confess (watch out this is a HUGE shock/s) I was gonna make another account for like,,, pregson content but I am so tired of switching Tumblr accounts and I already made it pretty apparent that this is a soft spot of mine (seriously I can't help it I'm sorry). I would just make another Tumblr and get confused on what account I'm on and shit and yeah. I just decided that I will have this content on main. First of all, I don't like fetishizing it, it's gonna be purely wholesome content. Anything I post will not be NSFW it will be strictly comfort-based, family-based, and of that matter (literally just like Treen's content on her side account!!) so if you have like an aversion to that feel free to unfollow!!! Or chose to ignore it and not interact with those posts. Seriously this is just my place to release doing what I love that mends my fucked up heart. This is my happy place. I want to see Benson & Gene happy.

Good news: I will always try and put a "keep reading" tab so I don't jumpscare you with mpreg LMAO.

Anyway I uh Gene being protective (more content will come with this don't worry, but for now, Gene feels the need to comfort Benson,,,

[kenobster]

I haven’t seen you post anything on ao3 since July, did I miss something??? (referring to your zero notes zero kudos post)

No, you didn't miss anything on my ao3. I've just been going through an Anakin whump phase on my tumblr lately (with answers to asks and miscellaneous posts and fanart -- some of which I already deleted when they got 0 notes, including a fanart I posted today. So even if you go looking, you wouldn't find all of them). So because of that, whether or not it's true, it personally feels like ppl aren't interested in certain things I'm excited about (tho the like.... three or four people who have shown interest, tyvm). And I'm really grateful to everyone who has read my fics on ao3. If I didn't have that huge bewildering amount of support to fall back on, I'm sure I'd be a lot worse off. So I greatly appreciate that. And at the very least, if all else fails, my mom will show support for all of my posts/fanart/fics lmao. Anyway, so I'm well aware lots of ppl dont have those things to rely on, so I'm hella not trying to take them for granted. ❤️ I'm very grateful and feel very lucky that so many people have said such kind and heartfelt things about my writing.

But there are certain things I still carry a lot of shame for liking. No one could ever make me feel ashamed about 5PE, but my biggest dream is to one day draw Anakin dubconnishly sucking Palpatine's dick. And my favorite fic universe to fantasize abt rn is the Vader Mpreg one. And those are things I do feel ashamed for liking at times. So when those are the things I post (currently on tumblr) that get 0 attention (esp when other things are getting attention), it sorta starts to reinforce the shame I'm already feeling.

Like, I spent 8 hours yesterday drawing that fanart I posted (which I deleted a few minutes ago). I skipped dinner and stayed late at work for 2 hours on Friday to finish writing this post on my work computer (bc my personal pc crashes if i try to make tumblr posts). Did I make either post to get notes? No. It was fun for me. Just the process of it was fun for me. I enjoyed myself so much!!! Totally worth it.

But do I regret posting them publicly instead of just keeping them for myself and my friends? ... Honestly, yeah, I kinda do.

Probably people did like the posts but are afraid to be seen liking things so dark and deranged. And like, that's okay, because I'm brave, I'm super brave, and I will be the first to post any deranged content out of any group of people. But I have limits, too. And if people are willing to read 5PE or shadow AU but not willing to read about Vader's uterus, then I start to feel less brave. :/ And I start to become demoralized over other things too.

Like, I was set to post chapter 10 of 5PE this weekend, but I haven't been able to work on it. Every Shadow, being less dark, is even harder to work on. Because if my perception is that ppl find me sick and grotesque and deranged for my most fucked up ideas (that's my perception, not necessarily reality), then it hurts to have my tamer content be supported instead.

Is that fair to yall? No, not at all. Am I trying to guilt trip anyone? Absolutely not. It's just a current unfortunate reality that's bumming me out, and there's not much anyone can do to change it. I just gotta let the feelings run their course.

Anyway thanks for reaching out anon. I feel better having been able to air all of this. Though I'll probably still step away to some extent (how long? who knows. The depressive episode will decide. But prob not for that long.

[spockandawe]

Hi.....if you don't mind me asking, what are your top 10 favorite books? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

This is an interesting question, and a difficult one! Which is why I let it steep for a few days while I was in a bookbinding fugue, haha XD

I’m not sure I’ll be able to answer it, because my level of fondness is highly dependent on how recently I read a book/how many times I’ve reread it, with an optional nostalgia modifier if something made a huge impression in my youth. And when I’m picking favorites, as the number of potential [thing] expands, the more I end up dithering and fretting that I’m forgetting something HUGE as I choose. So rather than a selection of top ten, I’ll just run down through some of my favorites! I’ll split it as five cnovels (recent reads, current genre hyperfixation) and five more conventional english-language novel (realistically, probably more like series, unless a standalone book occurs to me), and I’m not going to rank the conventional novels.

SO. Regular novels first. There’s a heavy recently-read/frequently-reread element going on in here. 

The Imperial Radch trilogy, by Ann Leckie. Okay, I am a sucker for a nonhuman protagonist, which is going to pop up in at least two other entries. And I’m also a sucker for themes of what can be perceived about a person externally versus their internal world, and Breq delivers like WHOA. She has SO MUCH going on in her head, and even though we’re in there with her, she still hides lots of her emotions from us. And characters like Seivarden hit me in character development buttons that I’m a sucker for, and the whole idea of consciousness being split across multiple bodies is DELICIOUS to me. Also... love me a sentient spaceship. ‘The Ship Who X’ series by Anne McCaffrey isn’t going to make this list, but I also love it a lot. (also, a universe of ‘she’s made me realized how STARVED i was for that degree of representation in certain genres that i love a lot, but don’t often see myself in as often as i might like)

The Murderbot series, by Martha Wells. Another nonhuman, sometimes-human-passing protagonist! Another one processing MASSIVE trauma of a sort that I, the human reader, have to slow down a lot and try to comprehend from an extremely different life experience! I like that a lot, it really forces me to LINGER on the nature of what a character is feeling. And oh my god, Murderbot’s voice is one of my favorite pov voices of all time. And watching it work (or go hogwild on its own asdfdgd) is absolutely delightful. I love literally everything about this series, except what happened with Miki. Other than that? Flawless.

The Books Of The Raksura, by Martha Wells. Martha Wells is a DELIGHT, y’all. Also! Another heavily-traumatized, nonhuman protagonist! And this time, like... It’s a fantasy world with huge amounts of sentient species, and the protagonist grew up away from his people, who are basically a bunch of feral homesteaders (LOVE THAT), and is trying to figure out how to reintegrate into their societal structures as an adult. That desperate desire to belong and feeling of discomfort and not-fitting-in, and the connections he makes and the way he DOES find a way to fit... like if u crey every time. Also, as far as we’re shown, it’s a cheerfully bisexual, polyamorous society, and *grabby hands*

Discworld, by Terry Pratchett. God, what do I even say about this series. It was a PARADIGM SHIFT. It’s bitingly funny, and also just plain biting, and full of huge varieties of interesting stories, set in a fascinating world, with a series of protagonists who I love too much for words. Vimes! The witches! Moist!!! They’re all so WONDERFUL. I still haven’t read the last book in the series yet, because then it will be Over Forever, and I can’t deal. This one is heavily nostalgia-tinted, but also, I stand by it.

The Belgariad/Mallorean, by David Eddings. Okay. Also very nostalgia, and the choice I can justify the least. But these books CLICKED with me. I’m afraid to reread them, because I’ve been wallowing in queer fiction for so long I’m worried about what the compulsory heterosexuality will feel like, and I know both series are very... episodic, in a way that isn’t necessarily great literature. But I dunno! Feels good, man. It’s high fantasy with a magical system I like, segmented worldbuilding of a sort that isn’t necessarily WELL-MADE, but it’s like... comfortable and easy. And something about the style and the character voices just clicks with me. I have no idea how well these hold up in the present day, but I do love them, and I’ve been planning to reread at least The Redemption Of Althalus by the same author as a standalone before I commit to a 12-book rereading of this universe, but.... I like em XD

--

Cnovels! I think I can rank these, so let’s go for it.

Fifth favorite: The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish :B Look, it’s ridiculous. It’s a transmigration story where the lead enters this fictional universe in the body of a fish, where he is adopted by a prince who eventually falls in love with him, and YES IT IS TAGGED MPREG, BUT HOLD ON A MOMENT-- I don’t know! I came here to point and laugh, but I’m honestly having such a good time right now. It’s really cute! And sweet! The main character is delightful, and the love interest is that particular flavor of semi-socialized upper-class young man, where like, can he do court politics? yes. can he politely express his affections for the main character? uh....... less so. It’s a really fun read, and I felt very sincere emotions about this prince who is passionately, deeply in love with his pet fish!

Fourth favorite: Mmmmmm, Mo Dao Zu Shi, I think. I struggle here, because it is NOT an easy book to read or show to watch, but having consumed the story, I love it to PIECES. I know a big draw for me is the protagonist, specifically, and his relationships to the people around him. And the more I cared about him, the more I wound up caring about the people around him, who I’d kind of neglected before, if that makes sense? It’s a story that really rewards some good old pondering. I didn’t care that much about Lan Xichen, but then I started thinking about how Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji relate to Lan Xichen, and then oh no, I care SO MUCH about his emotions, and now I’m thinking more deeply about how Lan Xichen relates to Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue-- It does lose points in this ranking because it IS hard to get into, and I would struggle to keep everyone straight even more if I didn’t have the show visuals to lean on, but it is still story I enjoyed VERY much.

Third favorite: Erha, but I feel REALLY, REALLY BAD that I can’t fit Yuwu on this list too, and I just want to loop them together. It’s time travel fixit fic, but it’s the book! Yes????? I love this. I love the striking character growth we get to see, and the changing perception of the world as the main character relives through events he already experienced and sees things in a new light, and I adore how Mo Ran’s growing guilt goes hand in hand with his growing love. And Meatbun in general... like, my god. I haven’t read another author who’s able to yank me through emotional whiplash so hard and fast. She makes me hoot with laughter one moment and then burst into tears the next. It’s absolutely wild. I love mxtx, and I think svsss/tgcf are gentler entry points into the genre and deal with lighter themes, but meatbun is seriously an UNBELIEVABLE writer if you can deal with the darker topics she covers.

Second favorite: The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System :V Look, I love it. I just love it. I love, again, characters dealing with the aftereffects of old trauma, plus I do also love seeing NEW trauma piled on top of it. I love having a main character with emotional dysregulation issues who doesn’t necessarily make good decisions, but doesn’t just leave me thinking ‘jfc what an asshole’, and I think that’s a really hard balance for an author to strike, especially without us getting direct pov. I love themes of being wanted and insecurity about being wanted, which is Luo Binghe’s major, major damage. And this is my first transmigration story I ever read, and the contrast between a main character who read the novel telling us about what’s totally going to happen versus the ground shifting under his feet is INCREDIBLY delightful to me. I’ve read other transmigration stories I enjoyed, but none that got my attention quite as much as this one.

First favorite: Tian Guan Ci Fu ;u; It’s so good. It’s so well-made! It’s so LONG, and it meanders, but also, I would scream if anyone tried to trim anything out of it. I am here a lot for the ship, honestly, but I also find the plot themes VERY interesting. I am very much here for reading about characters trying to process old trauma that’s been dredged up by new events, and also very here for the themes about how characters either pass their traumas along to the next generation, or try to shield the next generation from taking the same kind of damage (see: mdzs). And I’m also very much into tempering stories about pain with like... memories of kindness, and small acts of kindness repaid with an outpouring of devotion (see: svsss). But the craftsmanship in this book is just... DIVINE. I’m always reluctant to start rereading this one, because I have a terrible time stopping. There’s nothing about this book that I don’t like.

[normalbirb]

I like that you just do your thing. I see it as positive when artist aren’t afraid of creating whatever vision they have, even if’s cursed. I see too many artists being self conscious and being afraid of people judging them. the ones who unapologetically creates whatever the fuck they please just because they felt like it are inspiring to me. Plus it’s just fun for me to see weird/taboo things explored in art. maybe that’s just me though lol

One think i try to keep in mind are that someone will always hate it, no matter what it is, and therefore I dont feel like holding back. Why limit myself if the end result will be the same? Im a fucking weirdo, and i accept myself for who I am. And I wanna surround myself with people who also can accept that fact, that includes my followers. And I think people should do the same. 

Ofc, even tho im ready to go far for my art, i have limits. Like vore and mpreg, while I do find them weird, they’re pretty harmless fetishes (and i wanna point out, i may have memed around with it, but i genuinely support peoples weird harmless fetishes). But sexual stuff that, even in art form, can hurt people are stuff that I wont draw (tho i dont really draw a lot of sexual stuff anyway, but you get my point)

But yea people should def allow themselves to be weird. Dont try to please people who will judge you.

[hiatusilllit-blog]

Rules & Guidelines for Role-playing with my account.

I’ve decided to really REVAMP my account and by doing so I realized that sooner or later I was going to have to start all over from scratch. I will be keeping most of the same rules up and adding new updated rules that I think should be apart of my rules. Here’s the new updated version of all the rules you must follow if you wish to role-play with me. Failure to listen to my rules and warnings will lead termination of our role-play and account be blocked from viewing my page. 

(1) I am FULL literate and only expect YOU to be literate too. I will not accept roleplay requests from non-literate accounts. 

(2) I WILL NOT roleplay with: Non-roleplay accounts (meme accounts, fandoms, drawing, personal  etc.), Underage followers (meaning anyone under 16), Strictly submissive/dom based accounts.

(3) I DO NOT do roleplays that involve: rape fantasies (my oc’s will not rape yours), incest relationships, big age gaps (loli’s or shota’s), furries or animal related plots, weird and gross kinks/ sexual torture, yuri or lesbian plots, straight or heterosexual relationships, fandoms and ships. 

(4) Things that I DO accept roleplays related to: Angst, minor BDSM, minor age play, Seke X Seke (SwitchXSwitch), cross dressing/ femboys, Mpreg, darker plots such as: sickness, death, abuse, gore, horror. I will also do fluff and I do smut.

(5) Please be detailed within your replies to me, It helps me stay motivated and interested in our roleplay if you write more. Don’t be afraid to completely spam me with your lengthy replies, I absolutely love it.  

(6) If you know what you are not going to be active for a period of time, please tell me in advance before you log off so that I do not think that you are done with the roleplay. 

(7) Sometimes I get unmotivated to reply or I am simply just too busy at the moment to reply back to my rps, I will ALWAYS let you know if that is the case so please do not spam me if I’ve told you I will be offline. 

(8) I DO NOT do group roleplays with more than 4 people. If you want to do a group roleplay I am fine with it being the max 3 people (including me) and that it’s organized before we actually start. 

(9) If I tell you that I do not wish to continue our roleplay, please DO NOT be discouraged! It might have been because I simply was unmotivated for that specific plot, but the good news is you can always request another roleplay with me. 

That’s all I have for now and I hope that this clears up what I simply ask for things that I’d like to stay away from. Thank you so much for everyone who has read this and continued to follow me! You are super great supporter, can’t wait to start some interesting new roleplays. - WESLEY

[pregdudes]

Life fucked me up and got me pretty low.

[hey, so due to some shitty events, I feel my brain spaced so if I make grammar mistakes or something on writing pieces, please correct me. DONT WORRY ABOUT IT THOUGH, I’m fine, I just need to get back to working the old noodle... Get it? because one time I... Never mind.]

So, from my last post, a lot of things went down and things got deep. I won’t say anything personal because it wouldn’t help me in any way and it’s never my thing to vent my stuff in public. It makes me nervous and I think venting my deep, deep problems to someone I trust is more meaningful.

Okay, okay, enough about that. I got kicked down. And you know how this will end, but you need to know how curtain events effected my way of creating and makes commissions normally and how bad it got me in this aspect which will sound mild to you. Trust me, I was in deep dismay during these times.

First, after a very hard day, I got robbed while visiting family. They took my computer and broke my stylus. I can just earn money again to buy new parts, that is fine. But I need to work with really bad programs to even make art. I am a stubborn bastard so I refuse to cry and stop. So, no big deal really. Plus, I learned to get better and use Krita to add special effects.

Second, I was kicked out off my PayPal. I need a phone number, but because of some... Circumstances, my old phone is now ringing in heaven. And the only phones I have in my house hold Mexican numbers and PayPal said fuck off. So, shit. I may have to make a new one, so no worries.

And thirdly... Well, just a sad thing to say. I actually made some GOOD pictures. Like pretty shit for this account. I even learned a few things. And... IT got fucked during the robbery. But, DON’T FEAR! I can always try to make good art and learn more. And I got some good stories for this account. And one is about a Mpreg child you rarely hear about. Was one of the OGs, man.Still working on it and hoping to add pictures to it. Maybe post one page or two so you get a taste. It will be changed afterwards because I’m a ever changing stories as I keep thinking. I don’t know if you’ll like it, but I never felt happy to work on something in the writing field that I didn’t hate to my guts. So YEEE.

Maybe on something else, but don’t hope too big. I’m just playing around with other storytelling tactics.

So, of course. Emergency Commissions. Five bucks for colored or colored and shaded. Three bucks for just lines or lines with shading.  Some pictures are my best and I don’t care if this helps you connect me to someone else. You may go, “HEY! Are you the same guy that-?” Yes, most likely yes. But if you went through what I went through, the internet drama means shit to you. So dump on me, I won’t care.

I need to say this. I added this right before I was going to post this so it seems out of place. But, I suffered through something I would never imagine even if I was cruel. And I may be a little rough around the edges both about it and towards others because well... It can be understandable why someone would act strange or maybe rude, but I don’t want to be. So, If I come off as rude or like a little pea size cunt that runs his mouth, please don’t be afraid to tell me to cut it out. I don’t like to use pity to justify myself.or use my suffering as a golden ticket. I don’t even like people pitting me about it because I was always taught that my feelings mean nothing. But this is just about me coming off as rude and using something awful to get away with it. Don’t pity me instead of correcting me. I did my fair share of self pity and tears being shed, but I want to be how I was before it happened. A special someone, my biggest fan and greatest sister, would’ve wanted it that way. So PLEASE tell me. 

But thank you to everyone that stuck by me. It means a whole lot like you won’t understand it. Really, though, it makes me smile that you have... Faith in me? I don’t know the word for it, but it doesn’t make me any less happy! Thank you all!

And this account is by far the most humble and makes me feel the most warmth when I make content for it. I don’t make much because I don’t want to half-ass it. I want to make it perfect, especially from this point on! So please, keep sending me asks for some cute ideas for me to draw. I love drawing your ideas!

^ Three bucks ^

^Five buck^

Hope that isn’t too much. Love you all! And thank you for just looking at my art. And when I have the chance, I will post some traditional drawings just to keep you from being bored. And, god damnit, once I find my other notebook, I want to show you guys something I was trying my hand at and more cute shit. So, keep your eyes peeled for that.... Whenever that is. fuck

[swissmissficrecs]

Hi! I really really love works like Through the Clouds and The Sea in a Chasm and Horse and Carriage where one of the boys proposes marriage or retirement together and the other struggles with what that means about their "friendship". Do you have any other fics you can rec me along that vein? I'd also love fics where Sherlock marries them without telling John!

Reply: I love these too! First of all, here are some relatedlists:

Fakerelationship

Couplestherapy

Gettingtogether late in life

And here are the ones you mentioned in case anyone else would liketo look them up:

Horse andCarriage by flawedamythyst (60K, Teen, Johnlock)Sherlockproposes. John thinks the whole idea is ludicrous.

Through theClouds by mazarin221b (20K, Explicit, Johnlock)Sherlock takesa remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a changeof pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the SouthDowns, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quietcontemplation, bee studies, and book writing.They might go completelyinsane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you’reliving to find the life you want.

The Sea in aChasm [orphaned] (17K, Teen, Johnlock and John/OFC)WhenSherlock decides to retire to Sussex, John decides to find out who heis without Sherlock.

Now I know I have read a couple of fics where Sherlock (or Mycroft) secretly procured a marriage license for them for medical or case-related purposes without John’s knowledge, but unfortunately I am not able to find them right now so if anyone else knows one please let us know! I can give you a bunch of others, though, in which thoughts of marriage lead to angst and re-examination of the relationship:

This is a very close second (and one of my all-time favorite fics)in which Sherlock pretends to be married to John without John’sknowledge:

The Good Morrowseries by greywash (213K, Explicit, Johnlock)My post-S2series where everyone has a lot of feels about everything andplausibility isstretched unto breaking. Also: fucking.

In this one, Sherlock thinks John is going to propose but hedoesn’t, leading to relationship re-evaluation:

Stood in History by philalethia (18K, Explicit, Johnlock)He discovered the ring in John’s sock drawer. It all went a bit downhill from there.

In these, one or the other of them thinks about proposing for areally long time:

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (32K, Explicit, Johnlock)And Sherlock stands there, in the middle of a Christmas market as John hums along to Silent Night, John’s hand warm in his with fingertips a little gritty from the cinnamon-sugar doused churros they’d shared, and thinks, oh, that’s–that’s an idea, isn’t it?*For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves.

The One With the Proposal by kim47 (22K, Explicit, Johnlock)Proposing shouldn’t be this difficult.Written for this prompt at the kink meme: Remember that episode of Friends where Chandler is going to propose to Monica and how he pretends that he doesn’t care about marriage so she’ll be really surprised? How about a version of it with Sherlock and John with Sherlock being the one that wants to propose but pretends that he has no desire for it?

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (17K, Explicit, Johnlock)Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn’t simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. (Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.)

In these, both of them angst a whole lot over getting married:

Sketchy Part 2 by serpentynka (158K, Explicit, Johnlock and Mycroft/OMC)What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work?   A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl – but cannot be ignored. Oh, and…porn. (A continuation of plot arcs from Part 1 of Sketchy) When the world’s only consulting detective starts dreaming of bowing out, his dearest person in the world is more than willing to go with him.  It would seem that all that’s left to do is choose a date and leave London.  The machinations that be are never quite what they seem.

God Help Me, I Do by PlainJane (90K, Explicit, Johnlock and Mollstrade)A consulting detective, two doctors, a forensic pathologist, a DI, a senior citizen, a recovering alcoholic and the British government walk into a register office…John and Sherlock have resolved to be together as much more than just colleagues or friends, but how will their relationship change between the proposal and the wedding? Follow along as they learn about themselves and about each other. How will they share their news with those closest to them? How will John adjust to the reality of being in a relationship with a man instead of a woman? How will they both find time and space for personal and professional lives? And how will Sherlock cope with the intensity of true love? Cases, chuckles, angst and lots of good loving on the journey to one very unconventional wedding day.

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (39K, Explicit, Johnlock)Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can't help but wonder if he's imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn't getting cold feet about the wedding...

This has a similar premise to Horse and Carriage:

The Important Bit by Solshine (10K, G, Johnlock)Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

And finally these in which they get engaged/married for a case(with John’s knowledge) and it becomes serious:

Thanks to the Barbarians by queen_jadis (10K, Explicit, Johnlock)John and Sherlock get married for a case, which both of them find hilarious - until they realise that they can’t get a divorce. The offensive piece of paper has more effect on their relationship than John thinks it has any right to do.

A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (91K, Teen, Johnlock)John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level… 

Till Death Do Us Part by prettysailorsoldier (15K, Mature, Johnlock)When Sherlock links a recent spree of murder-suicides to a psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling, there’s really only one thing to do: Go undercover as a couple in hopes of drawing the killer out. Faking a relationship seems easy enough, but things take a turn when their real issues start to creep into the sessions, and, all the while, a killer is watching, waiting in the shadows for their chance to strike.

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by distantstarlight (96K, Explicit, Johnlock)For his entire life Sherlock Holmes has had complete mastery over his transport. He drives it harder than he should, is careless with it, and makes it bend to his will. His transport has always done it’s duty but lately Sherlock’s transport has been making some demands. 

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (16K, NC-17, Johnlock)John, we need to get married. 

Mountebank by Odamaki (26K, Mature, Johnlock)“I am calm,” John snaps, leaning on the door to glare out at the dark streets around them. Sherlock’s not said where they’re going; all he knows is they came off the ring road to the west of London and have vanished somewhere into the depths of Berkshire. All he knows is that he’s been trussed up in a suit that wasn’t hired from anywhere and if brought new would edge up into the triple figure margins. “Be calmer,” Sherlock advises, with a trace of irony. “We’re going to a party.”

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (9K, Explicit, Johnlock)What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game.Of course it’s for a case.Of course it doesn’t stay that way.

The Pretence of an Unacknowledged Truth by stickleworting (28K, Explicit, Johnlock)  He’s decided to just be himself, cliché as it sounds. The lie about being Sherlock’s mate will be difficult enough to keep up, he’s not going to think up more of a charade regarding himself on top of that.  If he uses the wrong fork at dinner, fine. If someone calls him on it, he’ll just stab them with it. Job done.First attempt at Omegaverse because a very good friend of mine likes it, and I like my friend. She asked for: alpha!John/omega!Sherlock; age difference; pretend bondmates to meet Sherlock’s family; synthesised bond scent; and bonding in Sherlock’s old bedroom. I think I’m managing to cram it all in for you, sweetpea ;) No mpreg, I’m afraid. That was a stretch too far.

[frisbys-artwork]

This was me with trying to be a “good Catholic boy”, not so much with family. I was doing EVERYTHING possible to be good religious guy “everyone” wants; even getting rid of what I originally enjoyed doing (drawing MPreg art) in favor of just more watered down character art, and suppressing gay thoughts too (no, I hadn’t come to the realization I was gay at the time. I was more focused on school and videos games). The next 2 years of that were the most miserable and depressing, because you come to realize that no matter what it seems to be, the smallest little error in life can cause you to go to hell, and not to mention it’s also the worst thing to try and do EVERYTHING right. It got to the point where I asked myself what the point of living was, if God was going to send me to hell over every day, normal things humans do, and just wanted to sleep and never wake up.

Thankfully, during that time (in Mexico) I met a wonderful man online named Adam, during my “bicurious” time, as well as looked into watching RuPaul’s Drag Race, and came to realize 2 things: there IS love out there and people who care about you, and that there is NOTHING WRONG to enjoy the things you enjoy doing in life and to be who you are.

Adam saved my life with his sweet persona and our wonderful conversations, and Drag Race helped me enjoy the things I love doing. I will forever be grateful that I met him, and forever cherish Drag Race (and drag in general) for teaching me not to be afraid of who I really am.

The only time I ever experienced someone talking shit on people like me was my mother, because she was your typical religious nutcase and hypocrite. “Those faggots will burn in hell, because they are committing a terrible thing by going against God. Oh, and did you know their shit has diseases?” are just one of the many terrible things she’d say, all while she was a mental, emotional and physically abusive woman, and an alcoholic too (this happened later in life, before the events of suicidal thoughts). Yeah, you can imagine how she tried to ignore what she was doing to me, while still pretending that the way she talked and treated others was justified because of her holier than thou bullshit attitude. This isn’t even the start of the amount of crap I had to deal with from her, but that’s another story for another time.

Never will I forget how she told me to fuck off and gave me the finger directly to my face, right in front of her golden child and my other siblings, and I told her “Oh I will, but next time you talk to me, tell me how God feels about the way you treat your kids and your drinking.” She was NOT happy about that, but I left before she could say anything, and extremely happy with what I told her.

Gay irl

[macabow]

My Top BL for 2017

Hello and welcome to my list of Top BL for 2017, my rough guidelines for choosing manga for the year, are BL that I started reading in 2017, or read mostly in 2017.

List below the cut. There will be some spoilers

Kashikomarimashita Destiny and Kashikomarimashita Answer by Sachimo

2017 seems to be the year that Omegaverse bloomed, mpreg has been around for decades (for examples, Sex Pistols) but I think it’s only been in the recent few years that an AU where it is feasible has been crafted and expanded to become such a creative force.

There are lots that are troubling in Omegaverse which I won’t go into. But there are lots of themes that fujoshis enjoy: happy ending after suffering, hero alphas saving their male partners, destiny and fate, animalistic bonds that defy rationale, and of course all the cute babies.

Kashikomarimashita has it and, and what’s more BUTLERS in butler uniforms, which is a kink for sure.

It’s high in a lot of BL rankings and for good reason. The nice thing about the two pairs of MC is that it isn’t straightforward and there is defiances of the rules constructed within the universe itself. One couple that are destined to be with each other, and one couple who fights against the odds to be with each other. There is a plot that makes sense in its own context, we see actual character development, especially for Kudou and Miyauchi the second couple which was my favourite couple, and did I mention cute babies? Also Sachimo sensei draws the cutest chibis!

Jealousy by Scarlet Beriko

Do you like your protaganist, sexy, fucked up, and amoral? Jealousy has got you covered.

Rogi, last seen in Yondaime as a rapist, appears again, and this time it is his background story, and boy is it a ride.

Rogi, I’m not even sure he’s likeable, but he’s compelling in the way he just pushes past all the normal barriers in his compulsion to feed his desires. 

What I like about Jealousy is it doesn’t really try to sugarcoat the darkside of the Yakuza world, and sensei is not afraid to show the ugly side of the main characters.

One of things that I  find refreshing is that Rogi got himself a lover that is a bald fat yakuza, Normally this guy would be the butt of all the jokes and act purely as foil for the handsome MC. I’m not saying that he isn’t, but he is not just a 2D character,. He’s not a fool, he knows he’s being played but he still loves Rogi, and I love that we get to see his thoughts and his feelings, it helps make the world so much more real when a sensei puts such care into the non-main characters.

Wolf in the House by Park Ji-Yeon

I feel strangely out of step with the reading trends in that I’m not that into Korean comics, firstly I am not a big fan of full colour comics, I don’t know if it’s information overload, or just what I’m used to, it’s not really my thing. I couldn’t read KS, because the blood and the bruising was just a bit too much.

Wolf in the House, however, is beautiful to look at, making great use of a subdued colour palette, and her drawing style is gorgeous. Everyone is beautiful, while drawn differently, including the bastard ex, who is as handsome as hell. This story  has the interesting premise of a Siberian Husky that becomes man (or is it the other way around) who wants to go to Siberia, but ends up being adopted by the MC. I love the supernatural elements, and the sense of sadness with the situation between the characters. I’m hoping it wraps up well, but also hoping it doesn’t end. I love that I can enjoy this comic on so many levels.

*swoon*

Gakkou no Sensei - Matsumota Kazura

How much heartbreak can you take? Read Gakkou no Sensei to find out.

Welcome to the school of abandoned animals that have somehow taken on human form. We get some comedy value in their daily life, interspersed with the background stories showing how they all ended up in the abandoned school.

the drawing style is so cute, it makes you want to hug and squeeze everyone of them.

My favourite is Gin, because I am a sucker for Tsundere types. Just look at that cute smile!

Harukaze no Etranger by Kii Kana

Sequel to Umibe no Etranger, Mio and Shun head back to Shun’s home town, where they meet Shun’s brother Fumi (FUMI DA!). There are many layers to this story, and sensei weaves it all in so deftly. Her panels are always a delight to read, her characters are expressive and lively and she adds lots of little touches, sometimes recalling things from previous chapters and I love that. I am so glad I got to pick up the physical  volumes of this manga!

Life Senjou No Bokura by Tokokura Miya

Reader, I cried.

The start of this manga was the cutest thing ever, and then I saw the tragedy tag. Maybe how a love can fall apart is what grips me, too realistically.

Those were my top BLs below are honourable mentions.

Kimi no Yume o Mite Iru by Aruku Kouki

Dream lovers, it was a cute story, the pacing was a bit too fast perhaps, but a good resolution

Pendulum Kemonobito - Hasumi Hana

A manbeast x human omegaverse tale. I didn’t think I’d end up here, but I liked the story. there are cute puppies as well in the extras.

Eto Irokoi Zoushi by Isami Matsuo

Man that gets possessed by different zodiac animals. If Fruits Basket was BL basically. Also it was exciting to see the reveal of each animal in their human form and what characteristcs the MC would take on. The character designs are great, and OMG just discovered the bonus chapter

Joou to Shitateya ( Queen and Tailor )- Scarlet Beriko

Sensei does it again with another beautifully drawn lovely tale of a man looking for a suit and ending up finding love.

Okay Tumblr is starting to play up, I enjoyed quite a few BL this year, but will just mention a few more.

Cry For Me by Yan Jiu

  - Cutest drawings ever

Kachou Fuugetsu by Shimizu Yuki

It gets a bit messy, and not all the relationships are well developed but there were some great parts

Suzume Favourite by Kuju Siam

I am just a sucker for animals that transform into humans maybe

Just look at that cute lil sparrow! <3.

Moon and Sun by Abe Akane

- anything by her is worth checking out.

All the fireworks are going off right now! Happy New Year 2018

[flamboyantommo]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

*All answers should be about works published in 2017.

@allwaswell16 tagged me to reflect on my writing this year. And because I’m a huge procrastinator, clearly, I’m doing it right now! 

(My GOD, this is so long, so if any of you actually read all of this, God bless.)

1. List of works published this year: In the order that they were posted

- What's Stopping You?

- Know It All

- Curveball

- Shut Up and Wink at Me

- One Day, Maybe Next Week

- It’s Hard to Say It, Time to Say It

- Got It Backwards

- NC-17

- Members Only

- Ready

- Aim

- Fire

- From the Floor to the Ceiling

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Um... Probably Got It Backwards. It was a pinch hit, written for @stnbutterflies, and she loved it! I churned that fic out in like, three weeks, and it got so long so fast that I had three betas working on it as I was writing it. It was... a lot, haha. I did a lot of literary research for it because Harry was a tutor in it, so he needed to know what he was talking about, and I wrote about 20K words of it - so, half - in a weekend because I was just going so fast. I think it’s the fastest I’ve ever done a fic of that size before, and it’s definitely something to be proud of. Oh, and Denise got it turned into a book, like an actual physical copy, and I think that’s pretty damn cool! 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I can honestly say that I loved all of my fics this year, and there’s two of them that I want to write sequels to. But if you've been paying attention, then you know those sequels won’t be coming out for like, another year, hahahaha. 

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

(this is from Members Only, which may be the fic I had the most fun writing this year)

“Um… Save me a spot in there?” Louis stumbled.

“You do yoga?” Harry asked.

“Yeah. Every week.”

Fucking liar.

“Really? Oh, I’ve never seen you.”

“Yeah, um, it’s usually in the morning. Or during the day. But yeah, I’m waiting for my coverage to get here, and of course Perrie is running late, so… But yeah, I’m totally coming.”

Why am I like this? Louis wondered.

Harry grinned, though, so Louis supposed it wouldn’t be too bad. “Well cool, then. Yeah, I’ll save you a spot by me. OK?”

“OK.” Louis saw Perrie coming from the locker rooms, so he told Harry, “Be right in. Get us a good space.”

“Cool.” Harry was still smiling when he walked away, so Louis hoped Perrie would be a good person for once.

“Perrie!” Louis hissed when he approached the counter. “You love me, right?”

Perrie eyed up Louis and kept walking.

“Perrie Louise, get over here!”

Perrie sighed. “Yes, Louis?” She didn’t walk over to the counter, but she didn’t walk out of the building, either, so Louis figured that was a good sign.

“I need you to cover me so I can go to yoga.”

Perrie frowned. “I’m sorry. Did you just say you wanted to go to yoga?”

“Yes! Keep up!”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you once say that yoga was only for hippie vegetarians who needed to learn how to breathe?”

Louis shook his head. “Nope, wasn’t me.”

“What about that it was just for people who wanted to be flexible so they would be better in bed?”

“Can you just help me, please?” Louis whined. “Please?”

“Harry’s going to yoga, isn’t he?”

“Who?”

Perrie sighed again. “Go. Just know that I’m only doing this because you’ll never shut up about it if I don’t.”

“Thanks, Perrie! You’re the best!”

“You don’t listen to me when I talk, do you?”

But Louis didn’t answer her. He was too busy grabbing his water bottle from behind the desk and hurrying back to the training room.

When he walked in, Jade, the instructor, was just turning down the lights.

“Louis, what are you doing here?” Jade asked him. “You know this is yoga, right?”

“Yes,” he said through gritted teeth. His eyes darted over to where Harry was sitting on his mat, hoping he didn’t hear. Luckily, Harry was doing shoulder rolls to get warmed up, so Louis didn’t think he did. “Everyone has to start somewhere, right?”

“Yeah. Just never thought you would.”

“Why doesn’t anybody have any faith in me?” Louis muttered as he made his way over to Harry. There was a spare mat next to him, so Louis sat down on it.

“Hey,” Louis whispered as he took off his socks and sneakers. He was glad he wore basketball shorts today instead of actual pants. He was feeling warm already.

Harry just smiled at him, looking perfectly peaceful already.

Louis wanted to suck a mark into his neck.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

OMG I love my comments. But I’m going to put two here, and they’re from the people that my fics were written for. 

First is from @stnbutterflies on Got It Backwards. She wrote: 

I'm so in love with this story and I feel so honoured, that you wrote this story for me. The whole idea with the robin picture was wonderful and I might have shed quiet a few tears while reading. And liked how you put together the story with the flashbacks and everything. This really might be my favourite mpreg fanfiction I've ever read! Thank you so, so much! You really did great! xx <3

Second is from @harrystinychristmasshorts on It’s Hard to Say It, Time to Say It when Kat clearly knew I wrote it but wasn’t calling me out yet. 

i was going to wait until you were revealed to come talk to you but i couldn't wait any longer! by the looks of it the round of fics yours is in will be revealed next week and i'm just so excited because? i have a very vague idea of who you are but i really don't want to spoil the fun so. i'm forcing myself to be good and wait. but! i'm gonna come yell at you when i found out who you are because you deserve more than just comments on here! okay Xx

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Well, this year, I actually took a break from writing. It was only for a few months, just because I was just so stretched thin last year of fics I wrote. And this year is actually the year I’ve written the least since beginning to write. 

So the time for me that was hard was when I was trying to get back into it, trying to remember how to write a sentence and how to characterize people. That was tough. I got back into it with What's Stopping You?, and then of course, it was just continuous writing after that. But getting back into my routines was really difficult. 

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Actually, in What's Stopping You?, when HL were finally finally about to hook up, the dirty talk part of their conversation had me in giggles because dirty talk is so not something I write on the norm. Like, it just felt so strange to me? But it fit the scene of the story, so it had to be done. 

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I think this is the year I stopped caring about how many kudos my fics got and focused more on writing because I enjoyed it. Of course, I want people to read what I spent all of my time working on, and I do think there are some fics that have been definitely slept on, but it doesn’t make me as upset or frustrated as it used to if my fics aren’t super read. 

And, I guess I tried new things. Like, I wrote two proposal fics this year (wow, I’m such a sap), and I took part in the Drabble challenge, after complaining forever to the gc about not wanting to because I thought it would be hard. (It was, but I still liked it and might do the spring one) 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

Next year, I want to follow through on all of the sequels I’ve planned and have been planning for God only knows how long. *cough* Taylor Times, if anybody’s still interested *cough*. That’s literally it. Hopefully I can follow through! 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Let’s see... As always, @temporaryfixlouis for being my go-to beta, even if our schedules haven’t quite lined up in a while. I know I can still count on Michelle! 

Then there’s @harrystinychristmasshorts, who has become a new beta and friend this year, and is always there to boost me up. I loved being able to work with her and also write a fic for her and being super sneaky about it, lol. 

Then we have @wonderdaysoflunacy who I only met because she made me a moodboard for Runner on Third, and she always has a compliment ready. She’s also an amazing person and so so so easy to talk to, about fics or anything else. 

And of course, everyone in the Life Ruined But It’s Fine gc, because all of them are amazing writers and it’s an honor to be included with them and fangirl over each other, hahaha. 

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Bahahaha of course. Nothing specific is really coming to mind at the moment, but it’s mostly the characterizations. In every fic I write, one of the characters is based on me, either a little or a lot. Also, the setting. Unless I actually say otherwise, just assume all of my fics take place in South Jersey/Philly, because that’s just where I live and where I spend a lot of my time. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Don’t be afraid to find a beta. It took me more than a year and a half to start working with a beta, and all of the fics I wrote in between then and the time I started probably could’ve been much stronger. It also would’ve made less work for me, so I didn’t have to read over my fics four times. I could’ve just done two. And it doesn’t hurt to have extra eyes looking over a fic or get another perspective on something you’re writing. 

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

OK, let’s see. I have: 

- a fic for the @1dshortficfest due in February. 

- a fic for Rachel’s @moodboardprompts due... shit, when is that due? March 1.

- my next prompt for the 1000 Feelings challenge. I had an idea all ready, but then I read another fic with the almost exact same plot line, so back to the drawing board! 

- Thursday Deadlines! The last part of The Taylor Times series. I revisited what I had written the other day and have started adjusting the plot for it. It’ll be shorter than what I planned, but it’s been hovering over my head for the last year, and I need to finish. 

- Eventually, I want to write one more part in the Bottom of the Tenth series. Destination wedding? We’ll see. 

- A full fic to tie up the Your Move series (my winter drabbles)

- I’m working on an age difference fic that I’ve been thinking about for a while. 

- I’m still working on the famous/famous AU I started planning like, months ago

- Oh, and I’m working on a pinch hit for the @hlwinterficfest2017! 

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read.

@harrystinychristmasshorts @wonderdaysoflunacy @tommostummie @harrygotthebee and anyone in the 1000 Feelings gc who hasn’t done this yet!