#i am normal about jecht

[cafeinnewdelsta]

*sees the data mined sprites for the new FFX event on Record Keeper*

We're getting h i m

BIG BOI

[aesadraws]

Crying in the club because of FFX's ending

[p-artsypants]

I Do...I Guess? (Part  One)

The Proposal

FF.net | Ao3.com

I got a craving to replay FFX again for the first time in like ten years. To be honest, I forgot a bunch of stuff (not to mention that I never finished it in the first place.) 

I’m recently engaged, and as I was playing this game, my brain kept saying ‘how would this scene be different if Yuna and Tidus were married?��

So I decided to write it. 

I didn’t want to rehash the whole story completely, so it diverts a bit and I skipped some scenes that I felt would have been the same in canon. Hope you enjoy! 

--

It felt good to laugh. Right. Like they weren’t on a mission to save the world. Like they weren’t trying to stop a hellish reincarnation of his father. 

Like they were a bunch of friends, having fun on a road trip. 

Yuna looked at him, eyes filled with tears from their laughter. Most of her smiles so far had been strained, or just an act. But this was joy. Pure, real joy. 

His fake, psychotic laugh had echoed over Luca, and at first she couldn’t stand the absurdity of it. 

But only a few minutes later, when they both frantically tried to catch their breaths, Yuna realized what she was missing. 

Someone who wasn’t afraid to be a little silly. Someone who wasn’t afraid to be a little rude or wild, even in the face of propriety of Yevon. 

It was a good feeling. 

She smiled at him. “I like you, Tidus.” 

The blunt phrase hit him like a bullet, straight to his heart. “I uh uh...like you too?” And he did. Maybe a little too much for the comfort of his fellow guardians. But getting Yuna’s approval felt good at least. It was nice to know she liked him, and she wasn’t just tolerating him as Wakka’s lost duckling. 

Well, she had agreed to make him a guardian, hadn’t she? That had to count for something. 

She nodded once, a determined look on her face. “Wait here a second, okay?” 

“Oooookay?” 

She walked over to where the others were standing, watching with faces of confusion and mild horror. 

“What?” Called Tidus. 

“We were just wondering if you two had finally lost it!” Wakka called back. 

Tidus didn’t get a chance to reply as Yuna beckoned Wakka into a huddle with the others. 

She talked too softly for him to hear, back to him, and hands held tightly to her chest. No indication of what this was all about. 

But they all gasped together, obviously shocked at something she had to say. 

Something about him? What? Did she want to make him super guardian or something? Did he get promoted already? 

Each and every guardian took a second to look at him, eyes narrowed in a glare of scrutiny. 

Aw crap. What did he do wrong this time?

They all seemed to come to an agreement, as they nodded solemnly. 

When Yuna returned, her face was red, and her eyes wouldn’t meet his. 

“Yuna?” 

“I would...like to ask you something.” 

“Shoot.” 

“It may be sudden, and a little strange...” 

“As has my whole journey been so far. Nothing new for me.” 

“Well...if it’s not too much...I’d like to ask you...to marry me.” 

“M-m-marry?!” He stuttered, taking a full step back. “Wh-what? How? Why?!” 

“You can say no!” She insisted. “It’s just that...summoners typically have a family, or a next of kin. My parents are gone, and I have no siblings. Lulu, Wakka, and Kimahri feel like siblings to me, but in the eyes of Yevon, they’re only friends. I’d like to...take you as my husband. Officially.” 

“That...makes sense...but why me?” 

Her face turned redder. “I told you I liked you...” 

“I didn’t know you meant it that way.” 

Yuna looked ready to cry. “You can still say no. And nothing will change! You can still be my guardian. It’s just that...the temples get really touchy about guardians of the opposite sex staying in the same room with the summoner if they aren’t related or married. Lulu thinks it would be safer...” she covered her mouth. “I’m sorry! I don’t want to pressure you! This is up to you, and I don’t want to twist your arm!” 

Tidus laughed. Not at her, of course, just the situation in general. It was a hollow laugh, one that betrayed how he felt. 

She blushed again, this time in embarrassment. “It’s not a joke...” 

Tidus took a deep breath. “No, it’s not. I’m sorry, I was just...a little shocked. Are you sure? I mean, I’m trying to get back to Zanarkand. If you don’t think I will ever get there, and so you’re taking a chance on me...” 

She shook her head. “I don’t know if you’ll go back. If you do, I’d like to go with you.” She bit her lip and looked away from him. “Truth is...I haven’t ever felt this way about someone before. I felt it the day we met, too. And it’s only grown stronger every time you made me laugh.” She bravely met his eyes. “I don’t know what the future holds for us. But this is something I can control. Something that I can choose. And I choose you. If you’ll have me.” 

Tidus scratched his head, torn. Yuna was amazing. Wonderful, beautiful, sweet, and kind. Not to mention wickedly talented as a summoner. 

But Sin. His father. Zanarkand. Would she still pick him if she knew? 

“This is your decision,” said Auron. “It doesn’t need to be rushed.”

“The next temple is Djose,” added Wakka. “It’s a ways away. But you have until then to decide. That’s the soonest we can get someone to perform the ceremony.” 

Yuna looked small. Smaller than he had ever seen her before. And it was his fault. “Hey,” he said, grasping her shoulder. “My hesitation isn’t because of you.” 

She looked at him, hope in her eyes. 

“I do like you. Kind of like you said you liked me. I noticed it a while ago, but didn’t think it was...wise to entertain it. Any man would be lucky to take you as a...wife.” He struggled with the word. “But, I just need a little time to think. I want to do what’s right. I don’t want to be a hindrance on your pilgrimage.” 

“Oh you won’t be!” Yuna insisted. 

“Yuna,” Auron stepped in. “What if...you beat Sin, and he goes back home? Would your marriage matter?” 

Yuna was quiet a moment. “I always wanted to be a summoner. Ever since I was a child. Just like my father. Marriage was a pipe dream. I know I won’t get that domestic life that everyone dreams about. But if I could entertain it, for a little while, I think it would be worth it.” 

“Who said you can’t have domestic bliss?” Asked Tidus. “Say I agree. You defeat Sin. I don’t go home. Then what? We bask in the glory of your success and return to Besaid. Or wherever you want to settle.” 

Everyone was silent, not making eye contact. 

“I mean, I have faith that we can beat Sin. I’m just saying that fantasizing about the future could be fun.” 

Lulu spoke up. “Perhaps it’s best if you thought things over. We understand where Yuna is coming from. If you want to talk things through a little more, just ask.” 

Auron nodded. “But we can talk on the road. We should get going.” 

All talk of betrothal behind them for now, the group ascended the stairs and stepped onto the plains. 

Everyone moved on, the air a mixture of tense silence and feigned normalcy. 

Tidus hung in the back, away from Yuna, feeling like the scum of the earth. 

Auron walked beside him, that mysterious quiet following him. 

“I messed up, didn’t I?” 

“She sprung that proposal on all of us. Your reaction was normal.” 

“What am I supposed to do? You know what’s going on better than anyone else. What with...Jecht and Sin. You told me not to tell her. So what’s the right thing to do?” 

“Yuna cares deeply for you. I knew it the moment I saw you together.” 

“Oh, like you’re some sort of love expert?” 

“Not a bit. But Yuna is easy to read.” 

“Yeah...she is.” 

“And you didn’t notice?” 

“It’s different when it’s you, you know?” 

“You’re just oblivious.” 

“Am not!” 

“And immature. Definitely not marriage material.” 

“Now you’re just being mean.” 

“You’re just being sensitive.” 

“Rude.” 

They fell into silence then, just following Wakka and Lulu’s lead. 

“Tidus.” He spoke softly.

“Hm?”

“Yuna is Lord Braska’s daughter.” 

“Correct.” 

“The honor of defeating Sin would make her a legend. That honor is something she’s willing to share with you.” 

“I mean, I was planning on helping her anyway. I don’t need the glory.” 

“Then I anticipate you’re a lot less selfish then some other men in this world.” 

“I...don’t follow.” 

Auron exhaled, patiently rewording his explanation. “If you don’t wed her, there’s a chance someone else would try to do so. And they might not be in it for the right reasons.” 

“...so, you’re saying I should say yes?” 

“You wanted guidance. Isn’t that why you’re walking so far back?” 

“I do want guidance. I’ve only been in Spira for a week, and I’ve already been proposed to. How’s a guy supposed to handle that?” 

He sighed. “I don’t want to screw things up for Yuna. I want to help, but if everything that I am...if what he is makes everything wrong...and it’s too late to back out, I would feel awful.” 

“Sin’s identity won’t matter. None of this will matter in the end.” 

“In the end?” 

“Once she calls the Final Aeon. Her pilgrimage is over, and it won’t matter. Being married to you, whether you stay on Spira or not, is irrelevant.” 

“If I do go back in the end, will Yuna be able to marry again? Is that legal here? Dumb question, I know...” 

“It’s legal. But she probably won’t.” 

“And she’s okay with that?” 

“Yuna knows all the consequences of her decisions. She may be naïve and hopeful, but she isn’t ignorant.” 

Before the conversation could progress, there was a growl from the tall grass before a wolf fiend leapt from its hiding place, and the guardians fell into battle. 

—

Next on the chopping block was Wakka. 

Or rather, he was the chopper, and Tidus the choppee.

He grabbed Tidus by the head, forcing his face into his armpit and nooging his head. “I told you not to go getting any ideas!” 

Tidus nearly puked, but broke out of the grapple before he could die. “And I told you no promises!” He wiped his face with his sleeve. “It’s not my fault I’m ridiculously charming.” 

Wakka huffed, “‘Ridiculously charming’ yeah right. I saw you talking on the boat. You were flirting with her!” 

“If being nice and talking to her is flirting here, then I don’t want to know what my actual flirting game looks like in your eyes.” 

Wakka rubbed the back of his head. “I should have seen this coming. Yuna doesn’t know a lot of boys her age. It was only a matter of time before she got a crush on you.”

“So because I’m her age, and around, she was bound to like me? Is that what you’re saying? Really?” 

“...you’re right. That makes Yuna sound shallow. Still...I wish it hadn’t been you.” 

“Wow, thanks a lot man. Didn’t know you had such a poor opinion of me.” 

Wakka groaned loudly, catching the attention of everyone else. He waved them on, and pulled Tidus back a little further. “You’re cool, dude. Honest. I just...do you remember the story of Lady Yunalesca and Lord Zaon?” 

“No.” 

“Well, Lady Yunalesca is the first summoner to ever defeat Sin. And she did it with her guardian, her lover and husband Lord Zaon at her side. It’s a love story that everyone fantasizes about having one day. Yuna has the capabilities to be just like Lady Yunalesca. But you...you’re no Lord Zaon.” 

“So? Maybe a Lord Zaon isn’t what she needs.” 

“What she needs is someone to support her. Someone who knows what’s going on, who doesn’t need her to hold their hand and explain everything to. I’m really not trying to be mean, brother, but that Sin toxin messing with your head is a major point against you.” 

Tidus understood exactly what he was talking about. He had gotten in plenty of hot water with people when he flubbed up some religious practice. Even simple questions were treated like heresy. 

If you couldn’t ask questions about your faith, and you just followed what everyone said, was it even your own belief? Or just blind obedience? That was something that was nagging him about Yevon. And maybe that was an indication that he would just be trouble for Yuna. 

“Yuna needs a strong, smart, level headed pillar…not a doofus.” 

“I’m not that big of a doofus.” Tidus scuffed his boot against the ground. “But I get it. My ignorance is a boo-boo.” 

“Other than that, I’ve got no complaints!” Wakka protested. “You’re nice, make some really great jokes, you’re a decent fighter and only getting better…”

“What, you put me down only so you can butter me up? Pick a mood, man!” 

“Sorry, sorry, I just…was surprised. When she proposed. I understand why, I’m just…” 

“I get it. And now I know your opinion on the matter.” 

“What did Sir Auron say?”

Tidus shrugged. “Danced around the topic. Made some good points, but ultimately decided it didn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter?”

“Probably as long as Yuna continues her pilgrimage, he doesn’t care about her love life. I’m definitely not going to try to stop her. She has an amazing goal ahead of her.”

“Yeah…” Wakka shrugged. “It’s a little terrifying too. Exciting to be a part of it, but...” 

“Daunting.” He finished for him. 

“Yeah. That’s a good word for it.” He rubbed his shoulders. “Anyways, if you do decide to take Yuna up on her offer, there won’t be any hard feelings, okay? Yuna makes her decisions, and she’s put this one in your hands. I can’t stop her or you.” 

“But if you could?” 

“I already told her what I told you.” 

“You told her I was a doofus?” 

“More or less.” 

“Thanks.” 

“She still proposed. My guess is she already knew.” 

“She’s at least kind enough not to say it to my face.” 

Wakka chuckled. “She’s too nice for her own good.” 

“Can I say something and you not get mad at me?” 

“No guarantees.” 

Tidus chuckled. “Remember when we were in Kilika and Dona was there, and saying all that crap, and Yuna very politely but firmly told her to move on?” 

“Yeah?” 

“It was extremely hot.” 

Wakka barked a laugh. “Glad to know you like a woman being stern with you.” 

Tidus shrugged. “Maybe. Back in Zanarkand, I had a lot of girls doing whatever they could to get with me. It got really annoying after a while.” 

“Oh, Mr. Hotshot blitzball player, star of the Zanarkand Abes! Player and most beloved bachelor, ya? Sounds like a real delusion. You must have inhaled a lot of that toxin.” 

“Yeah,” Tidus scoffed. “About a thousand years worth. I thought you were starting to believe me?” 

“I was, but then you started talking about your groupies and now I’m not so sure.” 

“Look, if you’re not going to be helpful, then I might as well go talk to someone else.” He spotted the next closest guardian and spoke a little louder. “Hey Kimahri!” 

The Ronso glanced at him, eyes narrowed in that stoic way he always was. 

“I was wondering, what’s your opinion on Yuna’s proposal? Should I say yes?” 

Kimahri lowered his head in thought, but only for a moment, before raising a large paw and whacking Tidus on the back, like you would a friend. 

Then he walked away. 

“What was that supposed to mean?” 

Wakka chuckled. “I think it’s free for interpretation.” 

—

They came across many people on the Mi'ihen Highroad. An old scholar with the dustiest voice he’d ever heard, an acolyte of Yevon named Sholanda—Shinda? Shish Kabob—Tidus could never keep these people’s names straight. A thousand years is plenty of time for words to evolve. 

And then there was Belgemine. A summoner, and a nice one, for once. A breath of fresh air compared to Dona. 

Yuna accepted the friendly spar, grateful for the chance to learn and grow. The guardians stepped back, and offered plenty of room for the magic storm that was to unfold. 

Belgemine had a new aeon to Tidus. A werewolf on fire, with nasty horns and claws. 

This must be the aeon from Kilika, though he didn’t hear what name Yuna gave hers. 

‘Hot Dog’ would have to do. 

Yuna raised her staff, and drew it back like the bow on a cello. The glyph appeared, and the summoning began. 

It was just as awe inspiring as the first time he had seen ‘Big Bird’ in Besaid, and every time after. Each direction she gave her aeon was lethal to any man or fiend, but Belgemine’s aeon took hit after hit. 

He wanted to cheer, if he hadn’t been too entranced by all the sparking lights. 

“Your mouth is open,” commented Lulu, dryly. 

He snapped it shut. “Oh. Yeah...I just can’t get over how cool these summons are. Yuna’s so talented.” 

“Her prayers are strong. The Fayth hears them, and the aeon reflects that strength. The more resolve, the more powerful the aeon.” 

“So Yuna is really determined to fight Sin, huh?” 

“Personally, I believe that she thinks she has no other option. She is her father’s daughter. What would anyone else expect of her?” 

“Kinda crappy on their part. Yuna has more merit than just who her dad is.” 

“To you and I, of course. But to the rest of Spira, a bunch of strangers, she’s a beacon of hope.” 

Tidus considered that a moment, hearing the phrase repeated time and time again. He wondered who they were trying to convince. 

“Would Yuna taking a husband blot out that beacon?”

It was Lulu’s turn to be silent, as Yuna’s aeon created a burst of light and Belgemine’s dog turned into pyreflies. 

“Yuna’s journey will not be easy. Yevon demands their summoners to never show sorrow or worry, but she is still young. She could use someone to share the burden with.” 

“So...is that a yes? I should take Yuna up on the proposal?” 

“I’m still trying to rationalize it out.” She said honestly. But the coldness in which she usually answered his dumb questions with was absent. “As a woman, who had loved and lost, there is something so simple and innocent as wanting to find your Prince Charming and live happily ever after. Not many do. The uncertainty of life on Spira doesn’t allow much for waiting and hoping.”

“So this is pretty normal? Knowing someone for a week and then proposing?” 

“For some. For Chappu and I, we thought we had plenty of time. We were both accomplished fighters, and we were sensible. There was no reason to rush. I don’t like having regrets, or wondering what things would have been different if I had made another choice. The past is the past. But, other people might have the right idea in rushing.” 

“So...yes?” 

“Are you that eager?” She smirked. 

“I don’t know! I never thought about getting married. I thought, hey, someday, if I meet the right girl...I didn’t exactly have a great example of domestic bliss in my own life. But it was something to think about when I was older. Now was for partying, flirting with the cute fans, getting my game right!” He sighed. “At least it was, until I came here. Now it’s surviving, and being prepared to take the hit for her. I...don’t even want to play blitzball anymore.” 

“So you’ve talked to the others?” 

“Yeah. Got a hard no, a vague back pat, and a ‘it doesn’t matter.’” 

She scoffed. “Men. Well? What do you want? Yuna gave you the choice.” 

“But do I choose what I want, or what’s right?” 

“They aren’t the same answer?” 

“I...honestly don’t know.”

—

They arrived at the Al Bhed inn in the evening when the sun was still high. Tidus found it greatly satisfying to see Auron not putting up with the blatant racism from Wakka, and they took out rooms for the night. One cramped room for the guys, and one for the girls. 

How would that work if he and Yuna got married? Would Lulu still stay in the room? Would she get one of her own?

It was crazy that he was even thinking about it. This wasn’t the kind of person he was. How many marriage proposals did he get daily from random girls back in Zanarkand? Dozens. 

And how often did he entertain the idea of agreeing? Not once. Sure, he soaked in the thrill and flattery of it all, but not one of those girls had made him consider taking a vow. 

So what was it with Yuna? He’d known her a little over a week, and most of that week was met with hostile glances from the other guardians. 

But she was so easy to want to protect, to want to talk to, and to be around. 

And maybe, even easy to lo—

Mm, maybe he wasn’t there yet. He definitely liked her though. But marriage!?

Sleep didn’t come easy. He was certainly physically tired, after saving Yuna from being kidnapped that morning, playing a game of Blitz, and the fight with all the fiends after…

But his mind was a wreck. For a little bit, he thought he might have had a dream—or rather, a nightmare. His old man, huge and bloated and horrible, writhing like the monster he had seen as Sin. Yuna stood near, her blue eye filled with ice, her green with fire. And she stared right at him, face unreadable with the neutral, emotionless summoner facade she always had to wear. 

“You would have your wife kill your father? How could you be so cruel?”

And then he woke up. 

Auron was gone, though Wakka and Kimahri were asleep on the other side of the room. After that disturbing vision, he doubted he would be getting any sort of sleep for a while. So he rose, and went outside to see if he could find Auron. 

The sun was setting. Auron stood just outside the Inn, watching Yuna who sat in the grass, cliff side. 

They hadn’t talked since the proposal. Things were too awkward, and he still didn’t have an answer for her. 

It seemed like Auron didn’t care, as he shoved him forward. 

Tidus pinwheeled before he could fall on his face, though the sound caught Yuna’s attention and she turned to look at him. 

“Uh--howdy?”

She smiled at him. “Couldn’t sleep either?”

“Nah, not really. Can I join you?”

She patted the grass beside her, and he sat carefully, keeping a little distance between them. 

Several moments passed in silence as Yuna stared out at the sunset. “It’s so pretty.” 

“Yeah. Real peaceful.” 

“I’d love to live in a place like this…someday. Someplace where everything seems calm and beautiful.” 

“It’s much different from back home.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…my Zanarkand never sleeps…or slept. People coming and going all night long, businesses open all the time, lights replacing the moon and stars. It was a different kind of beauty.”

“I’d like to see it. At least once.” 

“Maybe you will. Who knows?”

“Yeah…who knows?”

They sat in silence, that was not unpleasant, for a few minutes, before Tidus began, awkwardly. “I’ve been thinking about your proposal. I don’t have an answer for you yet. And for that, I’m really sorry.” 

She shook her head. “Don’t be. I sprung it on you. Feel free to think things through.”

“Thank you. I was telling Lulu…back home, marriage wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities. It was all partying and Blitzball. Since coming here, I’ve had to reframe my mind.” 

She suddenly gasped. “I didn’t even think to ask you! You don’t have a girl waiting for you back in Zanarkand, do you?”

He groaned, but then laughed. “I mean, I guess I did. But I probably would have broken up with her when I got back anyway.” 

“I’m so sorry! Did you love her?”

He shook his head. “Janni was…a girl I was in school with. She asked me out. Or, she declared that we were now dating. This was before I went pro with Blitzball, when I was just playing with my school. I was shy and nervous, and when she asked me out, I was like, ‘yeah sure! I’ll date a pretty girl!’” He huffed. “She was a whirlwind of dysfunction. Not that I come from a wholesome family, but…she would always play these mind games with me. When I first went pro, she was excited for me, but then quickly turned around and said I wasn’t paying enough attention to her. Then when I would try to do nice things for her, she would claim I was being too clingy.” 

“She sounds fickle,” Yuna said, with her mouth scrunched up. 

“There was a phrase where I come from, that goes: ‘don’t stick your dick in crazy’.” 

Yuna blushed. “They speak about sex so openly in Zanarkand?” 

“Depending on the company you keep. Anyways, I never slept with her, even though I know she wanted to, just because I got this sinking feeling that something bad would happen if I did. So, she would often break up with me, and go see another man. Then when that didn’t work out, she came back and demanded that we were together again.” 

“And you just went with it?” 

“Yeah. It’s pretty dumb...we were both immature, and I made plenty of mistakes too, but I just felt like I had invested so much time with her already, that refusing her would have made all of that a waste.” 

Yuna sniffed slightly as her lip trembled. “That’s so awful.” 

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have brought her up! I know you said you liked me...” 

She shook her head. “That’s not it. I’m heartbroken that someone would take advantage of you like that. That she just...assumed you’d be waiting for her, so she could fool around! That’s cruel!” 

He sighed. “I don’t know why, but hearing you say that makes me feel a lot better.” 

“Tidus, you deserve to be loved and cherished.” She said it so seriously, he felt it in his chest. It made it hard to swallow. 

“Thank you, Yuna. You do too, you know?” 

She just gave him a soft smile and returned her gaze to the rapidly disappearing sun.

[escapekissed]

i have made a new decision. i’m going to add the yoko taro muses to this blog bc i dont feel like making a new one!!! if ur still here, congratulations, i’ll be adding yoko taro muses and cutting down on other ones that people haven’t been showing an interest in!

HERE ARE THE MUSES I’M KEEPING:

-fe3h: dimitri, claude, edelgard, dorothea, leonie, catherine.

-ff: gladio, ignis, aerith, jecht, barret

-kh: vexen

-ace attorney: phoenix

-disney: tiana, elsa, gothel, eugene, rapunzel

-other: date, isabela, sten.

i’m taking off all the spop muses bc i’ve lost interest in that for now. SORRY IF U FOLLOWED FOR SPOP.

from yoko taro games i’m adding:

nier automata: 2b, 9s, A2.

nier gestalt / replicant: kaine

drakengard 3: zero, two, five

drakengard 1: caim, angelus, arioch, furiae

FOR A GRANT TOTAL OF 32 MUSES.... WE HAVE CUT DOWN PALS. i’m making a new carrd with everything. probably gonna change urls and aesthetics as well.

but for the most important information (if ur still following me i dont know who is and who isnt at this point)

there are trigger warnings for nasty shit in the yoko taro universe. but none of the characters i play, save arioch, will be engaging or talking about any nasty shit on this blog. [CANNIBALISM TW IN NEXT LINE] arioch’s character is so fundamentally interesting to me BECAUSE of her wanting to eat babies that i’m keeping that she wants to eat babies (tho obviously i will not roleplay that she wants to eat babies, i just think that it’s interesting for a character obsessed with motherhood to be so evil and monstrous, but for five and furiae who are canonically incestuous characters, i am reclaiming them in the name of hypersexual lesbians with intrusive thoughts.

[INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS TW AND INCEST TW FOR NEXT PARAGRAPH after this excessively long warning. could be triggering to people with intrusive thoughts. intrusive thoughts are not what people on tumblr think they are such as ‘eat a leaf’. they are thoughts that make you want to kill yourself because they are so disgusting and perverted to you. i aim to represent myself and other people with intrusive thoughts. but this could be triggering or upsetting to read. 

proceed with caution if u have intrusive thoughts, but if you don’t---realize that this is what intrusive thoughts really are, scary and terrible and disgusting, things that don’t align with the person you are or want to be. the only way i got over my own intrusive thoughts was recognizing that i was literally ‘obsessed’ with these thoughts bc i couldn’t stand any ‘ambivalence’ over whether such terrible things could actually be true about myself. learning to accept that such thoughts do not reflect on urself as someone who suffers thru them and that the thoughts do not matter or help you ‘become better by warning you of how evil you are and you must ask yourself if this is true every time you have them because of how evil they are and how much they scare you in a neverending cycle of self-harm’ is the only way to get through them. and honestly i do believe that it is worthwhile for people with intrusive thoughts to see that other people have the same thoughts as them and that they are just as scare and feel just as broken. but be warned anyway bc its some real ass scary and serious shit]

my furiae is not in love with her brother like she is in the game. furiae has ocd and is so afraid of her intrusive thoughts about her brother combined with her genuine (platonic and familial) love for him that she is fooled by herself into thinking that their relationship of him murdering countless people for her is something she can turn a blind eye to. he’s the normal one. he’s not the ‘dirty’ one like her, at least in her mind. he’s trying his best to save her, and she should be grateful, and she would do anything for him, anything to be normal and human and to find forgiveness and safety with him instead of feeling terrified and like vomitting and hurting herself every time they’re in the same room.

five on the other hand, i’m just cutting out the part about dito and zero and giving her the arc she deserves. she’s a lesbian that sleeps with men that can never satisfy her. she doesn’t understand this feeling inside herself---that wants more than can be given by a man, or at least something different. she blames it on being little less than a goddess, but she’s really just a pillow princess who needs a good dyke to wear her down taming of the shrew style but gay

[goldenworldsabound]

Sparkling cider and passion-orange juice for auron? -jaklovemail

@jaklovemail thank youuuu

Sparkling cider: have you and your f/o(s) ever been to a formal event together? Would you like to? What did/would you wear?

Hm, I guess we haven’t? I could imagine there might be something to honor guardians and Yuna since we saved the world but we also specifically skipped out on that djhksfjds and Auron was totally gonna wear his normal outfit for something like that anyway

I would LIKE to go to a formal event with him I love that shit. I feel like he’d wear Japanese formalwear (which I’m not super versed in other than IT’S PRETTY IT’S REALLY PRETTY and I’d love that. I would be happy to match him as well uwu I imagine he’d stick with his usual red and I might go for pink or gold myself!

but I also have this imagine of him wearing a suit (I love my faves in suits) but a) he’s still wearing it like a sling and b) he’s popped his collar up HWKFHJEW and in this situation I’m just wanna wear a super pretty dress like...sparkly sort of thing. Pretty into mermaid fit type dresses but also poofy ballgown-ish stuff is pretty awesome so it’s hard to decide!!!

I want to draw either of these setups honestly.

Passion-orange juice: how do you get along with your f/o(s)’s friends? How do they get along with yours? What do they think of each other?

We mostly share friends :) the general conclusion about Auron is that he’s VERY stoic but everyone still generally looks up to him as a mentor type figure. Everyone really enjoys catching him being tender with me and trying to tease him about it :p it’s much easier to tease me about it though as I’m the opposite of stoic. More specifics...

Yuna - She views me as a strong familial figure. I helped raise her after all. We’re really close and care dearly for each other. At first she sees Auron as a figure to be respected - a legendary friend of her father. She of course continues to respect him but she also realizes he’s a person. She thinks he should be less stoic about his affections for me but she’s just happy to see us both happy ;w;

Tidus - He has his sort of familial relationship with Auron. Auron was still probably fairly absent as Tidus got older though. I think no matter how much he wanted to Auron wasn’t going to be an amazing parental figure after what he went through. Their relationship is complicated. Tidus thinks Wendy is a bit...well, he doesn’t take her seriously at first. He doesn’t get why everyone else sees her as kind of mentorly and seems to look up to her. As time goes on he comes to realize for himself why that is and comes to respect me. (is he slightly jealous of how close Yuna is to me? just a little and he gets over it but :p ) He also likes to goof around with me cause I enjoy being silly now and again.

Lulu - Being fellow mages (and me being the older one) she looks up to me! Of course I’m equally impressed with her talent in magic. We bond over that a bunch while she’s growing up, and continue to do so even after. She and Auron are kindred spirits with regard to their personalities, so they get along very well. They’re the kind to sit back while the others get up to shenanigans and shake their heads a little.

Wakka - He is so in awe of Auron at first WOW LEGENDARY GUARDIAN just star struck. He retains a little of this starstruckness, but he also figures that he and Auron are pals now and he’s the kind of friend who teases pals. As for me, I was around while he grew up, and it’s a similar kind of mentorly bond. If he has a problem, and he and Lulu can’t figure it out, he’s like to ask me. He also likes to goof around with me cause it’s easy to make me laugh and easy to tease me!

Kimahri - We...aren’t exactly close even though we spent 10 years together watching over Yuna. Kimahri still keeps pretty distant. But there’s clear mutual respect and trust between us. He’s got clear respect for Auron as well. I always wondered what he thought about the fact that Auron, a clearly dying man, told him to watch over Yuna...and then 10 years later appeared. Did he know Auron was unsent? Kimahri is so hard for me to write for I honestly can’t decide if he did or not. Or if he just...didn’t care enough to worry about it. I’m inclined to think he had his suspicions but decided it wasn’t worth worrying over.

Rikku - She wants to adopt me as a familial fave FKWHFWK she likes that I get excited about stuff including learning about Al-Bhed stuff from her (I might practice my Al-Bhed with her a few times - I am far from fluent but she appreciates the effort). She thinks Auron is too grumpy and should lighten up :p she’s always trying to be silly and get him to respond in kind which does not happen ever but she keeps at it :p

(if I got this question again I’ll do Braska and Jecht haha, this was enough characters!)

[cygnahime]

FFX Relivebloggening Part 3

Meanwhile, back in Kilika...

What was Dona intending by coming back to the Cloister? She was apparently looking for Yuna, and it's not like she knew Tidus wasn't an official guardian. Did she finally think of a comeback and actually have the guts we all wish we had to actually go back and say it? The Kilika Cloister of Trials is always the hardest for me. Every time, I forget a step or get one out of order. This time I forgot which type of sphere needed to go into the pedestal for the Destruction loot. Tidus, as usual, is the only one who finds the fayth creepy. Also, "willingly" may be a stretch - or an outright lie. It's not like there are release forms on file. They seem relatively chill with it now, but then again, they are also asking for help with dying. I'm not talking to Lulu as much as usual, because I want to keep my affection with her low. It's odd, coming off playing Tales of Symphonia where Colette gets a massive affection boost at the start, that it's so easy for the canonical romance to not be the person you get the optional dialogue with. At least for me, it's usually Lulu. (It's because she has so much interesting dialogue in the early game. I often go straight to her to chat, and up goes that affection value.) It's not that Tidus craves being the center of attention, exactly, but he's used to it, it's part of the world-as-he-knew-it, and seeing everyone focused on Yuna reminds him of how that's not the way anymore. I always save like crazy on this boat ride, because I will get the Jecht Shot. Tidus is learning to take the easy route of saying he's toxin-brained, but Yuna has never taken the easy route in her life and doesn't mean to start now. She's also...the only person in the world who actively says she believes in Tidus and his Zanarkand. (Also, flirting again. That's how people flirt, right? Say they'd like to see your home and stuff?) (Tidus definitely wants to flirt back, but unfortunately, well, "As if I had a place to show her.") It's possible to miss that conversation with Yuna entirely, or not go up the stairs to listen to Wakka and Lulu. I did the former last time I played, so I made sure to do it now. Lulu wants someone to complain with, but Wakka's too easygoing to get a good kvetch session going with. I don't entirely blame her; a lot is happening, and she's under a lot of stress what with Yuna's impending death and all. "Be discreet." Lulu, this is Wakka you're talking to. No, that's not fair, Wakka can be discreet...ish...sometimes. "Sin just takes everything away from us." And of course he's not just talking about their parents, but about Chappu, and Yuna, and everyone else they've lost or are expecting to lose. An NPC says "Sin's attacked Besaid so many times I lost count"; they've probably lost friends then too. And back to Jecht, as I flex my proto-QTE fingers. This is a straight-up memory, and he does not come off well, even though I think he's...trying, or upset that he doesn't know how to try. I think Jecht is the kind of father who thinks he must be doing okay because he's not hitting his kid the way he was hit. He doesn't realize that emotional damage also fucks people up. One reset later: meanwhile, Tidus has recognized more fully that the way he was treated was wrong, and his response is to avoid it in how he treats others. In contrast to Jecht saying no one else could do the Jecht Shot, Tidus says, "Anyone can do it if they try." Even though in blitzball, only Tidus can in fact ever learn the Jecht Shot. I checked. Yuna remembers a lot about Jecht for someone who was seven - but then, she was probably trying as hard as she could to remember the last time she would ever have with her father. All this time, and so few people have ever known that guarding a High Summoner is a death sentence. Yuna still assumes gossip would have told her if Jecht were dead - and Auron, even though neither of them have been seen in Spira since Braska died. Tidus feels like something bad's going to happen. Buddy, this is Spira. Something bad is always going to happen. Tidus is so happy to finally be in a place with a lot of people. He's a city boy at heart. I really love the announcers; they make the world feel so lived-in and "normal". I love patter like that. I mean, I also want to glare at them for badmouthing my Aurochs, but you know. Different parts of the brain like different things. Introducing: the Zombie Space Pope! And not one of your modern popes, either. One of your serious kingmaker popes. Although, I guess he's just fully king, since the maesters appear to be the holders of all temporal power in Spira as well. (Except for the Al Bhed.) Nothing will ever make Seymour's clothing make sense. Nothing. Somehow, Seymour could tell that Yuna's a summoner in the midst of the crowd. At least, he seemed to zero in on her very intently. Creep. When I was a kid, I thought he was creepy, but I didn't have a sense of the age difference. As a 30-year-old, someone who's around 27 professing interest in a 17-year-old is double creepy bad. I mean also he's planning to use her death to destroy the world, but. You know. There is only one Auron, Tidus. No one has double names in fiction. It's against the rules. The Psyches Tidus talks to definitely understand him, but pretending not to means they don't have to respond to people, especially if they're rude. Yuna is clearly angling to hold hands here, and Tidus just does not notice. "Hey what if you whistled for me like a taxicab?" "...Not what I had in mind but okay." (Of course they manage to make this heartrending later.) To Tidus, this is "a pretty big town"; to Yuna, this is a city, the second-largest in the world. Cultural context is everything. Yep, Tidus, you thought you were famous before. Back there, there were still plenty of people who didn't care about blitzball. Here, it's this or studying scriptures. Forever amused by how the building they walk into is clearly labeled, "Bar", while the building next door is labeled "Cafe". Maybe there's a reason you didn't find Auron there... I assume Yuna got "kidnapped" by someone overhearing her asking about Auron, saying they knew where he was, and leading her off. I assume she was too polite and didn't want to kill anyone, or she could definitely have Valefor'd them to smithereens. (Maybe a Silence Attack was involved. Does Silence cut off summoning?) Don't ask about blitzball physics. Or biology. Or...anything, really. Just destroy your opponents. Was claiming to be holding Yuna hostage for the game a cover to avoid admitting that they were really kidnapping the summoner for her own good? Seems weird. I have to assume the "Psyches" in this game are ringers relying on "all Al Bhed look alike", because there's no way the Aurochs got that many goals on Nimrook at level one without their best forward. Lulu just fucking. teleports onto the boat. She has no feet and therefore cannot jump. Among my favorite exchanges in this game: "I hope you hurt them." "A little." There's definitely something to be said about Yuna being mixed-race with the complicated way actual mixed-race people are treated in Japan (and the US, for that matter). Buttttt I am not the person to say it. I'll just gently whisper that Yuna is matrilineally Space Jewish. One of Lulu's flaws that she has to get over during the game is that she's dealing with her grief over Chappu by comparing everyone, especially Wakka, to him. Maybe Chappu was a better blitzer than Wakka, or would have been fine after having what I assume are several cracked ribs from illegal tackles, but the fact that Lulu says it in no way means that it's true. #WakkaDefenseSquad2k19 That said, what Wakka has to get over is his racism. Which is obviously a much bigger issue. It seems almost benign here, since it was in fact Al Bhed who just attacked Yuna, but...it gets worse. I'm probably going to have to see this cutscene several times. But I will be victorious. I am, however, impressed that Lulu can catch Wakka when he collapses (Yuna plz heal his ribs) without going down with him. He's a big guy and most of it is muscle. And the inscription actually says, "To the memories of childhood - farewell," which is particularly touching and, of course, sad. If this were fencing, a decent referee would give Bickson a black card for unsportsmanlike conduct. (For those of you who are unaware, a black card means you have to leave not merely the event but the venue. Non-participants such as coaches can also be black-carded.) First try: kept the score tied 2-2 in the first half, got Tidus the requisite level so he can use Jecht Shot. Got off a Jecht Shot early in the second half and kept the Goers from scoring until Wakka came in. Aaaaand I got Wakka the ball at the four-minute mark for our fourth goal and victory! I AM SUPREME! I'm not saying I would have realized I was gayce a lot sooner if not for that FMV of Auron slipping his arm out of his coat, but I'm also not not saying that. So cool! Auron is not cool. This is an important fact to know about him. He seems cool, but internally he is panicking 50% of the time and sad and gay the other 50%. But I was a teenager and didn't know that competence is fake actually. Spiran ecology count: another dog, happily observing the Aurochs' farewells. Speaking of said farewells, they're kind of unnecessary as I will be getting Wakka back on my team the very second I have an opportunity. Tidus is...not entirely wrong about this all being Auron's fault. I mean, on a macro level it's not since he's just doing the best he can with this shitty situation, he didn't create the situation, but on a micro level he definitely did toss Tidus into Sin's magic traveling sphincter. Like, this was definitely in the plan, although it goes much better than he has any right to expect - he was probably expecting to pick up Tidus and Yuna separately, not find them already buddy-buddy. I really respect Auron for telling the protagonist some facts at least earlier than your average protag gets to know what their father has become. Which is a chronic protag problem. He's also gently patting Tidus on the back, which is about the limits of his emotional support skills. He tries, but... Auron, when he's done being a cagey bastard, correctly identifies Lulu as the One To Talk To if he wants to receive information. She has the map, the color-coded notes, and the safety pins stuck to the inside of her purse. She's the big sister I wish I could be. "I understand. I think." Tidus does not understand, because Yuna is deliberately not telling him the important part: she needs to practice smiling when she's sad about how she's going to die soon and people are so encouraging and happy to see her do it. And now, the scene that everyone loves to make fun of. Look, people, it's not bad. If the ha-ha-ha were supposed to sound like normal laughter, that would be comically bad, but it's not. It's a couple dumb trauma babies fake-laughing badly until they give themselves the giggles while their friends watch in confusion! "I want my journey...to be full of laughter." She may not have much time, but Yuna wants to pack in as many good things as she can, while she can.

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

So, I thought it would be fun to write this little story, because of the holidays. Hope you enjoy and have a happy new year!

The older Male kept a steady, yet relaxed pace down the busy streets of Zanarkand, paying no mind to the chatter of busy bodies. However, one voice in particular was quite loud, and rather alarming, as it's smooth, high pitched, yet manly voice reached his ears. He knew the voice. The voice gave him the sudden urge to nurture, to care, to protect.

Tidus: Hey! Auron!

Auron turns to see the kin of Jecht hot on his trail. What could he possibly want?

Auron: Is something wrong?

Tidus: Hey! I've been looking all over you, old man!

Auron: Hmph. As pleasant as ever.

The older man's cold sarcasm was rather pleasing to the young boy. Sure, it sounds a little sadistic, but the satisfaction of Auron reacting to the idea of being old was rather amusing.

Auron: Have you been searching all over the city for me?

Tidus: Well, not really the whole city. It's rather easy to find you. If I'm somewhere, you're usually not that far behind.

Tidus wasn't wrong about that. Auron was just simply upholding his promise to Jecht.

Auron: Anyways. Is there a problem? If you're seeking my presence, it must be rather important.

Tidus: Well... I wouldn't say that... You know what today is, right?

Auron wasn't sure as to what Tidus was talking about. It was a normal winter day. The usual. It also happened to be the last day of the year, but that was irrelevant. Or was it?

Auron: Not exactly. Is it some sort of holiday?

Tidus: Well duh! It's the last day of the year! New Year's Eve! I wanted to know if you by chance had any plans for the day.

Yup. It's relevant. Auron was quite surprised by this question. What could he be thinking? Was he planning something?

Auron: Not to my knowledge. Is there something I don't know about?

Tidus: Well. I was wondering if maybe... you would like to celebrate it with me?

Celebrating the beginning of a new year? It was a foreign idea to him, as the people of Spira usually didn't celebrate the forth coming of a new year. It was usually dreaded, as it either marked a year closer to the calm ending, or another year of dealing with terror delt by the destroyer of worlds, Sin. He guessed it made sense when he thought about it. Zanarkand was free of Sin, therefor, everyone looked forward to a new year to bloom here.

Tidus: I mean... I've got nothing really better to do. Might as well spend it with someone, am I right?

Auron was rather reluctant to accept, as he didn't know how to really... behave around the boy, but rather or less, he accepted.

Auron: Hmph. Well I don't really see why not. It's better than sitting at a distance, watching over you.

Tidus: Dude! Rephrase that! That sounded really stalkerish!

Auron: Well... Excuse me for making sure you're safe. I'll stop if it makes you feel better.

Round 2 of the rather bitter sarcasm.

Tidus: You're on a roll with the caustic remarks today. Besides, it's not like I need you to babysit me.

Auron: As true as that may be, it doesn't change that I'm here on behalf of your father.

Tidus: Ugh. Enough about him, got it? I don't want to hear a word of it tonight.

Tonight?

Auron: What do you mean by tonight?

Tidus: Well, we sit and wait until 12 am. We do a count down at the last 10 seconds of New Year's Eve, and then we scream, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" Then fireworks go off over by the docks. Luckily enough, the boat house happens to be one of the best spots to see the fireworks.

That's rather later than Auron would have liked, but what the hell. Staying one night never hurt anyone. The two do a little bit of grocery shopping at some of the nearby markets, then head back to the docks where Tidus resides. The two work on dinner for the night, preparing snacks, and setting up a rather warm fort outside. Grabbing what odd in end snacks that had been made, and a thermos of hot stew, all the preparations were complete. Tidus and Auron sit down under the fort, as Tidus throws a blanket around the both of them. After about 30 minutes, Tidus starts to shiver, and it gradually becomes more and more constant, until Tidus is wincing in pain from the constant shivering making his muscles ache.

Auron: Maybe we should go inside?

Tidus: N-nah m-man. I-I D-don't want to m-miss the f-firew-works.

Auron becomes rather worried. He's not sure as to how much it will help, but he takes initiative in trying to warm Tidus up, and pulls him into his arms, trying to warm him up.

Tidus: Oh hey there. What are you doing?

Auron: Making sure you don't freeze to death.

Tidus: Jeez. Way to make me feel like a little kid.

Auron: Are you complaining? I'll stop if you like.

Tidus: ... No. You're actually pretty damn warm.

A gentle grin forms on the older guardian's face. He cuddles up closer.

Auron: Aw, you're just so adorable, I could just eat you up!

Tidus: Oh God! No! Stop! Don't ever speak like that again! It's terrifying!

Auron: Fine. I'll stop teasing you.

Tidus: You better!!!

Midnight soon approaches. As they pass along odd an end snacks, they hear a siren go off.

Tidus: Oh the count down's starting!

Auron. Wha-

Tidus: 10! 9! 8!

Auron being quite unsure jumps in randomly.

Tidus and Auron in Unison: 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

As the two shout, blasts of color and light fill the sky, following loud explosions. Auron would remember seeing the fireworks and hearing the sirens before, but he never knew what it meant until now. The two watched in aw as fiery glitter faded in the air, almost like watching fairies walk across the sky. Eventually the fireworks died down, as the smile on Auron's face faded to despair as it ended. Like everything he ever loved in his life, the colors left him. Thinking about how petty it seemed to feel sad about a firework show ending, he began laughing at his own pain.

Tidus: Hey! What's so funny?

Auron: It's nothing.

Tidus: You are so odd, you know that?

Auron was quite aware of that. Even though he laughed, it was a decoy that he used to hide the fact that his heart was crying out, longing for the colors to come back. Longing for his dear dead friends to come back. This lead to his own epiphany. Just like the fireworks, and just like his friends' lives, his own life for that matter, all good things must come to an end at some point. It's inevitable trying to change that would be futile. But until then, as looked apon Tidus again, he had priorities. To protect and guide Tidus to the right path, no matter what it would take.

--The End--

[meleyys]

Character ask meme thing Auron and Ignis!

IGGY IGGY IGGY CAN’T YOU SEE – OOPS? AKA IGNIS SCIENTIA

favorite thing about them - where the fuck do I start, I love Ignis so much; probably how much he loves his job and takes pride in it and that job just happens to be looking after Noct

least favorite thing about them - he gets awful snippy around the first time you enter Duscae and I briefly wanted to throttle him but it passed and I could go back to being annoyed at Gladio

favorite line - ‘I might have answered before, buy yessitis.’ (THIS WAS A HARD ONE FUCK YOU.)

brOTP - Ignis/Noct, obviously, who the fuck do you think I am

OTP - Gladnis. GLADNIS. G L A D N I S. 

nOTP - I can see why people like Ignis/Luna but eh, nah.

random headcanon - He’s got like 87 of those black notebooks; not all of them are recipes but more than a normal amount are

unpopular opinion - I can’t think of any since I agree with most people on Ignis because everyone loves him lmao

song i associate with them - Apocalypsis Magnautus 

favorite gif of them - 

PLEASE STOP PRAYING FOR MY GRANDPA YOU’RE MAKING HIM TOO POWERFUL AKA AURON

favorite thing about them - his conviction; dude started a job and not even death was gonna stop him, I can support that

least favorite thing about them - his weird hairless armpits

favorite line - ‘The red carpet has teeth.’

brOTP - Auron/Jecht, duh

OTP - None, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t feel love or happiness or affection, pretty sure the only emotions he has are ‘drunk’ and ‘stab’

nOTP - I fuckin see you Tidus/Auron people in the FFX tag, who are you and why

random headcanon - Auron always smells kinda like the sea, even when they’ve been nowhere near it in weeks.

unpopular opinion - I don’t ship him with Jecht.

song i associate with them - O T H E R W O R L D

favorite gif of them - 

[justira]

STORY STARTERS MEME

Rules: List the first lines of your last 15 stories. See if there are any patterns. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

@petite-neko tagged me, and I have never been tagged for anything before in my life. But, uh, sure, let’s do this!

I definitely do not know 10 writers on tumblr because I am very terrible at doing The Tumblrs and also I mostly talk to artists on here? But why not, let’s tag my partner in crime @sevdrag; @wordsdear, who I know writes; and @kaizokunohime, who doesn’t write prose but does write story ideas/prompts, and I’d like to see how those do with this meme.

I have no idea what is meant by “first lines” here? The first sentence? The first block of text until whitespace? idek, I tried to keep it reasonable. This is in reverse chrono order, so first story is most recent.

1. Acclimating

[One Piece — Law/Luffy, Law & Strawhats — E, 31.3K ]

Law probably should have seen this coming. It wasn't his splintered self-worth that made him avoid things like this (and what business of anyone's was it, anyway, if he lived for Cora-san's memory? He'd been living on borrowed time for over a decade, and every step he'd taken since then had drawn him closer to a confrontation he expected (hoped) he wouldn't survive). But his utter lack of interest in making himself likable because there was nothing much to like certainly helped cut down on complications. Or, it usually did. The standard rules did not seem to apply to Strawhat. Black Leg had warned him, although, all things considered, that shouldn't have been necessary. 

2. A Slow and Vicious Hemorrhage

[BBC Sherlock / Hannibal Movies — Holmes/Watson — M, 5.5K, WIP]

The air gets heavier, down here, cooler and tinged with inescapable subterranean damp. John breathes it in, steadily; it doesn't particularly unnerve him. It reeks of institution and he's had practice enough with those. It's not calming, precisely, but it's familiar. It's all familiar. It's all fine.

It is.

His hand tightens on the two case files. It doesn't stop the tremor, but he rubs his thumb across the labels, the rough reality of them, already thoroughly ragged from the flicks and scrapes and polishing and various pointless attritions of dozens of fingers, despite the very recent dates stamped on both of them. Two dates, two names. Neither name belongs to Sherlock Holmes.

3. Swimming Lessons

[Final Fantasy X — Auron/Braska/Jecht — T, 1K ]

Auron sputtered as Jecht dunked him under the water again. He came up for air, gasping, to hear Braska rebuke Jecht. "Jecht, he can't swim." Braska's tone was just this side of sharp, showing that Jecht was testing his patience; good, as he had surely tested Auron's. Auron clawed his hair out of his face where it had escaped his tail. Jecht was already too far away to shove. Braska floated over to him, touched his shoulder. "Are you all right?"

4. This Stolen Interstice

[Dragon Age: Origins — Duncan/Teagan — M, 8K]

The Grey Warden came during the harvest. The field Teagan was working was cradled in one of Rainesfere's rolling valleys; trees rose high on all sides, crowning the surrounding hills and wind-murmuring to each other as the harvesters worked. The air was thick with dust and chaff and the smell of fallen leaves, just edging into cold. That hint of crispness settled pleasantly on Teagan's skin as he worked amidst the slice and whisper of sickles and threshing, the barking of dogs weaving through the rhythmic sounds — no laughing children, not during the harvest, as all but babes were put to work at some task or another. He found one such child suddenly in his path — Rogher's youngest. Deliah? That must be it.

"What is it, Deliah?" Teagan wiped his brow as he stood, stretched his back.

"There's a man to see you," the girl mumbled, shy before her bann. "Mama says he's a Grey Warden."

The words spilled a chill down his back, much harsher than the gentle bite in the air. Darkspawn, here?

5. The Storm That Sweeps So Quiet

[Final Fantasy Tactics — Alma/Tietra — T, 1.2K]

Alma's spine aches. She has been bowed over this tome for entirely too long. Study is normally a pleasure, particularly the histories or the great tales of the Church, but this day she set aside to get through an endless dissertation on courtly graces. Studious as Alma may normally be, her heart is not in this. Today, the floor is distractingly hard beneath her folded skirts, even with the spare cushion. Her bodice itches unreasonably. Behind her, Tietra's quiet breathing and quieter warmth brush down Alma's back; she had persuaded her friend to take the window seat and regrets it not one bit, discomfort or no. It's not Tietra's fault that Lord Haverell's text drones so. Outside, the sunshine drips between tumultuous clouds; the air is heavy and moist, and the clouds tower high. It is not a day for study, not at all.

She runs her finger down the rich vellum of the page and listens to its smooth whisper. Behind her, she hears Tietra shift, the soft sigh of fabric and the rougher-edged rasp of pages rubbing together. Well, if Tietra feels it too...

6. So let it out and let it in

[Supernatural — Castiel & Mary, Castiel & Dean, Castiel & Sam — G, 5.1K]

"Jay Bird Family Special," the waitress announces, clear and cheery above the lunchtime clinks and conversation buzzing through the diner. She tips Mary a wink. Mary grins back as Heather sets the giant platter in front of her, gently intercepting baby Dean's hand going straight for the steak. "Your man running late?"

"Course not!" John pops up behind Heather. He's breathless under a thin sheen of sweat, his face all smiles and engine grease, and Mary could not want to touch that handsome curve of jaw more.

Instead, she puts a mild growl of threat in her voice, not even trying to cover the laughter crowding up alongside it. "If you think you're getting those paws anywhere near my food or my son—"

7.  And Under Sky, the Shelter

[Final Fantasy Tactics — Ramza & Rapha, Marach, Mustadio, Agrias  — G, 1.4K]

The hill cups gently around a lee; pebbles gather in the shadow where the wind abandoned them, making for a stony bed, but it will serve well enough for their purposes. Ramza, at least, is tired enough to collapse where he stands. He watches Agrias survey the site and thinks dully about what to do if it does not meet her standards of defensibility. It is well that she nods in approval, as he had not managed to think of any alternatives. The weariness runs too deep in his bones, leeching at thought, at care. It frightens him, distantly. So many have ceased to care, it seems. He rouses himself with a shake that feels like trying to shift mountains.

Tired to numbness or no, camp must be made, the birds cared for. The birds and — his teeth tug at his lip as his glance lands on Rapha and Marach, hovering at the edges of the group — the people. The tasks have been long apportioned, but in their ever growing and shrinking company, they reassign the routine often enough. It is just that he is too tired tonight to think on it.

8. There the Bones of Us May Lie

[Final Fantasy XII — Ashe/Balthier — T, 2.5K]

The hollow starlight sinks into ashen softness before her as she boards the Strahl; the hungry roar of the Cataract is hushed, made muted and metallic. It is like sinking into water, reversed. The quiet is the same, the sense of distance, but as she ascends there is no persistent buoyancy, no insistent upward press. Weight seems to sink down on her instead, settling deeper about her shoulders like a mantle.

It's familiar.

The silence of the ship eats her sigh, giving back nothing. And that, too is familiar — comforting, even, to have no wraiths answering those unmeant nighttime summons. The Occuria's illusion of Rasler is shattered, and Vaan isn't here to haunt her either, sleeping below with the others; Ashe is alone if not exactly unfettered. It is beyond her, just now, to judge whether that is better, and that is, in any case, irrelevant. There is little point in dwelling on it, now.

9. Best Hand

[Ace Attorney — Apollo & Trucy, Phoenix — G, 0.5K]

Apollo eyed the backs of Mr. Wright's cards. Wright kept them low, hands resting easy and relaxed on the table — Trucy was just the opposite, her fan of cards held up in front of her face, casting conspiratorial glances over the top. Hiding her smile. Trucy had something; Apollo'd figured that much out. Not as good as his own hand, though, he was sure of it.

(Now if only...)

He looked back at Wright. Nothing to see. Nothing to sense; bracelet quiet and loose on his wrist. (Damn! It's not just that he used Trucy for the games, he's impossible to read anyway!) Apollo resisted gritting his teeth.

10. Eclipse

[Final Fantasy IV — Kain/Cecil, Kain/Rosa, Cecil/Rosa, Kain/Cecil/Rosa — G, 1.5K]

In the old forgotten passageways beneath Baron Castle the walls exhale ghosts like vaporous winter breath: a fine spice on a hunt for treasure, harmless old haunts that feather around them as they creep down the halls with their stolen torch, their voices a nervous-laughing titter of echoes.

When the revenant comes Kain's blood freezes and he sees the panicked bloom of Rosa's untutored magic, shielding them; Kain's lips parting in awe and breathlessness as they flee.

But as they tumble back down the halls, to light and safety and a likely spanking, it is Cecil who clutches his hand.

11. Where Memory Rests

[Thief: Deadly Shadows — Garrett, The Shalebridge Cradle — G, 2.3K]

Thick exhales of steam crowd the night air, damp on your skin, as you make your way through the noise and shadows of the City. Grit has gathered close to the walls where you walk, giving the soft sound of your steps a rougher edge. Your fingers trail where a gas arrow once crystallized: a pipe carrying hot air hisses quietly at the leak. Magic lies thick in the air since the Final Glyph, dispersed and unformed. You can feel it in your hand. It washes across the red new scar like warm breath, like the air trickling from the pipe. The elemental crystals form faster, now, and someone harvested this one before you.

It doesn't matter. You have other things on your mind tonight.

And besides, you can always get it back.

12. the silent fulcrum in the interstice

[Kingdom Hearts — Kairi & Riku & Sora, Kairi & Naminé — G, 1.2K]

It begins with her hands: she plunges them into the place where earth meets sea meets sky. The light falls fragile across the grains, soft contrast to their coarse texture against her palms, her bare knees. The damp sand is heavy in her palms and something stirs in her as she pauses, hands suspended, full of infinite possibilities: This is how worlds are created, she thinks. Memories, falling like sand, like stars, like snow (where does she remember snow from?); she pauses, hands suspended, full of infinite worlds.

She can't remember the last time she did this, or maybe she never stopped: this is where she sat and stitched together a star, a promise; this is where she stood and watched the horizon and waited, or tried to remember what she was waiting for. The sand is heavy in her hands, and she wonders if this is any different, or if it is all reconstruction and remembering.

This is how worlds are created, and she sinks her fingers into the sand.

13. Same As It Never Was (cowritten with @sevdrag)

[Final Fantasy VIII — Rinoa/Squall, Laguna/Squall, Quistis/Rinoa, Kiros/Laguna, Quistis/Rinoa/Squall — E, 72K, WIP]

“I’m sorry, Commander, sir,” the waiter said over Squall's shoulder, “but we don’t have that particular vintage — our sincere apologies. Can I recommend another bottle — on the house, of course?”

Squall tried not to grit his teeth— too hard, anyway, because they were already grinding a little at the waiter’s placating, admiring, sorry-to-your-famous-personage-please-be-kind tone. He glanced up. Rinoa was smiling at him, that smile of hers that carried beaming wattage like a Thundaga to the chest, and even though it still made his heart skip a beat he could read in it what neither of them was saying: her hesitation playing across her face, the tense strain of her smile even as his own lips quirked back in response.

“Not a problem,” he said, aware that his voice was gruff and sounded irritated; maybe everyone would assume he was aggravated about the wine.

14. Coward Heart

[Final Fantasy X — Auron & Braska & JechtI — G, 3.6K]

The caves cast light back at them, fractured reflections and the rock's own native glow: the water was still and star-littered, pinpricks of light beneath a surface so motionless that Auron could barely tell where water ended and the pressing dark of the caverns began. All the light should have illumed the air, but the icy breath of the place seemed nearly solid, swallowing the light before it could reveal more than it hid. Auron had drawn his sword long ago, its rasp loud and echo-inhaled. Even the fiends glowed, here, great gelid flans with galaxies glittering inside them, dissolving into pyreflies like gentle novas.

Auron's gaze slid to Braska. In the gloaming, Braska's eyes seemed wide and white, his robes silver-edged black, all the careful distinctions of colour — red, for mourning; purple, for hope; blue, for seas and skies — lost in the half-light. Jecht was a suffocated flame beside him, the leaping fish on his sarong like the empty spaces between licks of fire as he shrugged off the wool-lined jacket Braska had finally convinced him to wear.

15. Disconnect

[Final Fantasy VIII / Kingdom Hearts — Maleficent & Squall — G, 3.7K]

He opens his eyes to the sight of water falling up. The spray coats his face, his clothes— he tries to sit up and make sure Lionheart is dry in its sheath and realizes that everything, everywhere, hurts.

(Rinoa.)

He makes it to his feet, checks on Lionheart. The gunblade survived the trip, maybe in better shape than Squall had. He flexes his hands, staring at them. They still feel numb. (Did it hurt you like this? Your magic?) His spells are gone, eaten up by the trip from Traverse Town. He hadn't counted on this exhaustion. (Yeah, and Cid had said it was impossible and called me an idiot. Whatever.)

It doesn't matter. He heaves himself away from the rocks he'd been leaning on, and starts climbing.

Analysis, I guess?

Okay well the immediate thing I notice is that I used the word "interstice" twice in this set of titles and that's just mortifying.

Decent mix of fandoms! 14 fandoms counting crossovers, although 8 were Final Fantasy of some kind.

I counted 6 past tense intros (though one of those fics switches to present tense halfway through, which is 15K words past the opening lines), and 9 present tense ones. That's a 2:3 ratio of past to present, and I actually had never realized I wrote in present tense this much. In the grand scheme of fiction writing, past tense is heavily more common so I guess this sample puts me in the... minority? I find present tense more immediate. I rarely actively CONSIDER which tense to use, I just start writing in whatever FEELS right for the idea. The first story where I actively considered tense was "Acclimating", the most recent story on here. Whoops >.>

Also I don't tend to open with dialogue. For short fics (less than 10K) I tend to write mostly in order, and I find writing dialogue difficult, so I tend to kind of "settle in" with a story by writing description first, and only after I'm properly settled try some dialogue. There were only 4 stories with dialogue in the opening lines here, and only 2 that actually had dialogue as the first thing in the story.

Fewer em dashes than I expected, as I know I overuse those. But not, apparently, in the opening lines. I wait until the reader is settled in/committed before pulling that shit on them.

I seem to vary between starting in the middle of things vs. doing a bit of setup. I couldn't really pin numbers to this one, as it's a bit more nebulous. For example the very first sentence of "This Stolen Interstice" (that word again, shoot me now) is in medias res, but then I back up to a bit of scene-setting. So who even knows!

Anyway, this was a fun exercise!

[greenmagic-oilspill]

WOW someone reblogged this and i forgot I made this so I reread it and JFC I am ashamed by some of my choices so I need to update this. Also my tastes have changed. And i am assuming everyone on this list is at least 20 or older cause idk if anyone even has ages

FF1: ok this one is the same

FF2: I saw art of Leon and Maria I’ve never seen before and omg they’re both actually fucking hot. Firion too in Dissidia. Why have I slept on this cast I want to sleep WITH this cast

FF3: mm this one hasn’t changed

FF4: same. Sorry, Cecil, you still ain’t hot 2 me

FF5: still the same. Except maybe I’m more attracted to Faris

FF6: still hot for Sabin and Celes and maybe Locke and Terra depending on their outfits

FF7: I have.... re-examined Rude and my thing is normally guys with nice hair but like now I’ll consider him. He’s likely ripped under that suit. Reno is okay but not really my type. I still respect Tifa and Aerith too much for any list like this. Zack is still hot

FF8: largely unchanged.

FF9: same. Beatrix I hate to do this to you but you’re carrying the weight of this whole game in the looks department. Maybe if they had more realistic proportions I could add Garnet and even Amarant. But I’d like to see his face. Also Blank.

FF10: MMMM this has changed. I am old enough now that much of this cast have become my babies. And I’ve gotten weirdly attracted to Wakka help. And waaayyyy more attracted to Jecht oops I do like daddies now. Still not that into Auron though strangely. Paine is also hot. Still not a furry sorry Kimahri

FF11: no one??? Aldo, maybe? Tenzen? Iroha is cute I guess

FF12: why did I say such mean things about Basch omg give him to me. I’ll take Balthier too. And Ashe. Everything else is the same but I won’t even LOOK at Vaan or Penelo until at least FFTA2 and even then... a lot of people are into Fran but like... idk I like her as a character but she’s fetishized too much and I wanted to leave her off this list out of respect and apology on behalf of the rest of the world

FF13: this cast is all rly hot tbh but the ones who are most my type are Snow and Fang. Not attracted to adult Hope (or child Hope don’t fucking go there)

FF14: same feelings. Adding Lyse and Hien cause Stormblood wasn’t out yet. Honestly those two are among the hottest in the game. Also.... Gaius (I am slowly coming to terms with my growing taste in older men ok give me time). I’ll hesitantly add Thancred and Shadowbringers Urianger. Arbert too for his voice. Not into Zenos at ALL.

FF15: same, just Gladio. Aranea too.

NOW FOR SPINOFFS

Tactics: ...Agrias I guess? I can see Ramza getting hotter when he gets older. Also I’ve always loved Meliadoul’s design for some reason even if it’s kinda plain. I am not ready to admit going for even older men like Orlandeau yet. OH OH weirdly enough, Zalbag.

Type 0: uh. They’re all pretty young so no. Kurasame is not my type either. Emina I guess but she’s so minor

Mobius: Wol is pretty hot. Extra points for being able to dress him in what you want. Meia too.

Dissidia: Spiritus !!!

Okay that’s all. Y’all better ignore the fact that I JUST made a post where I said something about fetishizing pixels I know I’m exposing myself as a hypocrite but I still won’t ERP or prefer gender unlocks on Viera or Hrothgar for ERP reasons lmao

List of hottest FF characters by game

(As requested) FF1: I dunno. White Mage is probably a hottie under those 8 bit robes.

FF2: idk Leon??? Hilda???

FF3: From the DS remakes, Ingus yo. Desch too I suppose.

FF4: Long haired pretty boys and old men are not my type by any means so that rules out half the cast, but older Rydia and Edge I suppose.

FF5: Bartz for sure. Faris too.

FF6: SABIN. CELES.

FF7: …None of the guys tbh except Reno if I had to choose. Tifa is too good to put on a “Who’s hottest” list and I feel foul for doing that to her and Aerith but someone’s gotta represent this game. —-WAIT I FORGOT ZACK. He’s a good one.

FF8: Most of them are hot af, particularly Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Quistis, and Seifer. Laguna gets points for his bangin battle theme. Kiros is also scantily clad and good looking so

FF9: Literally no one except Beatrix. They look like babies.

FF10: If you don’t know by now Tidus and Yuna are my absolute fave fictional characters so them, obviously. Rikku is obvious and lots of people go for Lulu but Auron and Wakka are not my type. And I’m not into furries so I won’t go into Kimahri. Jecht is the only dad I would consider

FF12: As discussed, Vossler and Al-Cid. Balthier and Vaan are okay and Ashe is gorgeous. Gabranth is also up there but his bum of a twin brother isn’t even on my radar and I’m not into dads so bye Dr Cid. Sorry to my Ivalice nerd friends

FF13: Snow and Fang are fucking sexy. Lightning, Serah, Vanille, Noel, and Cid are p cool too. Again, not into dads, so sorry Sazh. Caius has the long haired pretty boy thing I mentioned earlier going on and I’m not into older Hope.

FF14: Where to begin??? Ysayle, Aymeric, ALDIS and MYLLA, Merlwyb, Moenbryda, Hoary Boulder, Wilred, and I’m weirdly attracted to Livia’s armor

FF15: Gladio is basically the only one so far wtf cast. If they’re all gonna be guys make them better looking at least

[xmydaysinmilanx]

1 to 75 because why not xd

1. First console you’ve ever owned? PS12. First game you played? Possibly Tekken or Spider-Man for the PS13. Favorite childhood game? I cannot choose one!4. Longest consecutive hours you’ve played a game? I honestly have no idea. Maybe 6 hours approx as I would have dinner and bathroom breaks etc. 5. Game with the best soundtrack? I adore the soundtrack of Final Fantasy X but I think the 13 series was composed beautifully.6. An underrated game from within the last few years? The Jak series. Jak 2 and 3 are excellent games.Think of a hard edged Spyro combined with Grand Theft Auto and you get Jak 2/3. 7. Most disappointing game you’ve played? Final Fantasy 12. The visuals are astounding but I could not take to it at all.8. The game with the best atmosphere/scenery? 7 has a lot of potential in the remake. X has beautiful scenery with plenty of places I’d like to visit in game. I adore Macalania Woods!9. Last game you played? FF XIII. 10. Prefer PC or console? Console, never owned a desktop.11. Have you written any fanfic or made any fanart? Fanfic ‘ideas’ yes but have not branched out into the writing world yet.12. Most bizarre game you’ve ever played? Non strike me as being ‘bizarre.’ There are elements in FF 7 and 13 that are quite strange. Oh and Necron in FF9 - okay.13. Scariest game you’ve played? Abe’s Oddysee freaked me out, must say lol. 14. Do you watch playthroughs online? If I am really stuck on configuring strategy. 15. Favorite animal in a video game? Donald Duck, Kingdom Hearts series.16. The best year in gaming you’ve experienced? The 2001-2006 era. I was younger and so it feels more nostalgic. 17. Have a video game themed background or lockscreen? Of course.18. Worst game you’ve played? I find games such as Call of Duty quite the yawn fest.19. Hardest game you’ve ever played? Lightning Returns on normal mode is pretty challenging due to the time constraints. Also many of the enemies in XIII are tough nuts to crack. Not really sure though.20. Favorite publisher and/or developer? Square-Enix21. If you had to play one game for the rest of your life, what would it be? FF722. If you could turn one game into movie, which would it be? X would be an awesome film. 23. Favorite genre of video game? RPG24. Ever cried because of a video game? Which one(s)? Only one. The ending of XIII. Games do impact me emotionally but I just don’t necessarily cry over them.25. Proudest accomplishment in gaming? Training the golden chocobo in FF7, I managed to win a game of Blitzball (which I hate lol) ONCE by pure chance. Oh and Anima in X. I did pretty well in GTA Vice City come to think of it and I was only 12. 26. How often do you play online? Co-op? Never really played a game online but FF14 ARB intrigues me. 27. Have you gotten any friends into gaming? I do not believe so.28. Who got YOU into gaming? My mum’s boyfriend at the time introduced me to Spyro/Spider-Man games before gifting me X. I’ve been hooked since.29. Watch cutscenes or skip them? Watch unless it’s imperative to progress in the game. I’ll skip if I am re-doing a mission/boss and I can’t  be arsed to watch a scene over again. 30. On average, how long does it take you in the character creation screen? Very little time.31. Game with the best theme song? Kingdom Hearts Simple and Clean is a classic.32. Do you cosplay? I wish but I do not have the confidence.33. Favorite female npc? Maybe Yunalesca. Kinda hard to decide haha.34. Favorite male npc? Maybe Axel from the Kingdom Hearts series.35. Best protagonist? Cloud Strife although, it’s really hard to pick. I also admire Serah Farron and Lightning.36. Best antagonist? Sin/Jecht is pretty ‘up there’ isn’t he? I also love Sephiroth.37. Ever been made fun of for playing video games? Nope, only other things haha.38. Have you tried a game, hated it, then tried again, and loved it? FF XIII really bored me then I tried again a year down the line and have loved it since.39. Do you play for achievements/trophies? Nope.40. Favorite voice actor? David Gallagher (Riku), Adam Croasdell (Ignis), 41. Gone to a midnight release before? Nope.42. A game you will never forget (in a bad OR good way)? FF7.43. Favorite sidekick or companion? Ignis44. Do graphics matter? Nope.45. Do you like funny or more serious games? Elements of comedy and seriousness in one. 46. Always, sometimes, or never use subtitles? They’re always on.47. First person or Third person? Third.48. A game you’ve always wanted to play but have never gotten to it? FF14 A Realm Reborn. Oh, also World of Final Fantasy and some DLC’s for XIII-2.49. A game you haven’t played in forever, but want to replay? 7 but I always hold it off because I want my experience to be magical each time.51. First character you’ve had a crush on? Tidus.52. A game you will always stand behind, and support no matter what? FFXIII and 13-2.53. Your most immersive game? Eh none of note.54. A sequel you really want? FFXV-2 >_> Ignis as lead!55. How much time, on average, do you play in a week? Depends, sometimes none at all sometimes an hour or two 6 days a week lol56. Do you tell people irl that you play video games? Yep57. What is an overrated game you’ve played? FF8/FF9/FIFA/COD58. Ever have someone walk in on a sex scene between you and you LI? Nope59. A game you are looking forward to this year? Not sure if they’re out this year but KH3 and FF7 Remake!60. The game you are best at? Fairly good at X and 7.61. A game you know everything about? FFX/7/13/13-2/KH1/KH262. Would you want to work with video games when you are older? Voice acting lol63. What’s a game that has inspired you? They all have in their own way64. Describe your favorite video game using only three words? Nostalgic, Intriguing, Haunting.65. Any favorite screenshots of games? Check my page haha.66. Game with the yummiest looking food? FFXV - I’VE COME UP WITH A NEW RECIPEEEEHHH!67. Most violent game you’ve played? GTA lmao68. An older game that you’ve just recently gotten into? I’ve already played games over a decade old or more!69. Your first LI? Is it bad I am unsure what these initials stand for?70. Do you play any mobile games? Nah71. A game you can’t stop talking/thinking about at the moment? FFXV72. Have any guilty pleasure games? Not really guilty pleasures lol73. A game with the best fandom? FFXV and KH or sure74. Which game has the best lore? X75. Do you focus on main storyline/quest or do sidequests first?  I do all.

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

One Heart, Two Souls.

Chapter 1, Part 2.

“You knew my husband, didn't you?”

“Yes, we were good friends.”

“So you too know my sadness, how much I miss him so?

“...Yes.”

The silence was brief between us. I was so sick of it, who would've thought it would have been a good thing if it continued on? Her hands started shaking. I thought she might be crying, but she looked to me, there were no tears upon her. I was wrong, it was the exact opposite. She giggled before she spoke. No wife currently grieving over a dead spouse giggles.

“You've seen me naked, haven't you?”

She moved closer to me and put her hand on me in a romantic gesture.

“What was your name, sir?”

“A-Auron.”

I was extremely flustered by her advances on me.

“Tell me Auron, did you like what you saw?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I'm grieving, you're grieving, it wouldn't be wrong if we sought comfort from each

other.”

She leaned in to kiss me, but I pulled away.

“I'm sorry, but I can't! You're Jecht's wife dammit! I can't do that to him!”

It was clear she was desperate to fill the void in her heart where her husband's love should be. She moved herself into my lap.

“Please? You're my only salvation. Only you can save me from myself. Misery enjoys company, you know? Besides, I'll make it worth your while. I'll suck your-”

That was it, I didn't even hesitate to get up. Unfortunately, I said something I shouldn't have out of discomfort

How many men have you said that to!-”

I wanted to end the sentence with, “Whore”, but I didn't get a chance to, as I fell backwards. I had slipped on something and hit my head against the wall. My head was bleeding.

Lucky for me though, seeing that, she discarded the comment. She tried to help me, but she was too weak.

I eventually got up on my own. She looked at me real solemnly.

“I'm really sorry.”

Her voice was small and shaky. I played it nice, looked up at her and gave her a hint of a smile. I was preparing to leave as I was probably unwanted at this point.

“I should be going, but I’ll be back in the morning to discuss Jecht's will with you… you should probably get some rest.”

“Yes, thank you for your help today.”

I nodded my head at her.

“You have a good night ma’am.”

“You too.”

I was getting prepared to leave, when I saw Tidus sitting by the door, reading his book.

I bent down and put out my hand to shake it.

“I'm Auron by the way, nice to meet you Tidus.”

The boy looked up at me with discontent, then went back to reading his book.

“Good night.” I had said before walking out the door. He said nothing back. With a quick sigh, I walked out being confident that my place there was finalized. Unwelcome I was. Not like I really was wanted from the start.

I walked all through Zanarkand a good part of the night. I didn't really have anywhere to go. Besides, I had a lot on my mind. I was disgusted with myself. I led Jecht's wife on. It wasn't intentional, but it did happen. Why erupts she do that to him? How could she. It was pretty close to morning when I found a spot in an alleyway to crash out in.

I wanted to sleep, but something about sleeping pin the streets in a busy city was not appealing to me, so I wasn't able to sleep. Lucky for me though, Morning came quickly, and I needed to leave early anyways. I was on the other side of town.

It didn't really help my cause any thinking about the events that played out last night. All I could really do was put it the back of my mind and be there to be professional. Talk business. Nothing more.

I knocked on the door. Tidus answered the door. When I came in, I sat down on the nearest couch.

“Where's your mother?”

“She's asleep. She left very late last night and didn't get back until early in the

morning.”

“When did she leave last night?”

“She left at three a.m. and didn't get back until five. She woke me up to lock the door.”

What was she thinking?

“So, what are you and my mom going to talk about?

“Your father's will.”

“What is a will? The old lady next to us tells mom often of how the other people next door are trying to get on my mom's good side, so they can claim me, get the will, and keep it for themselves.”

Tsk. Vultures.

“I don't like them though, they're mean to me.”

“Don't worry, if things play out right, they won't be a problem, just wait and see.”

“But, what is a will?”

“A will is usually a lump sum of cash you receive when someone dies, that is if you are put on the will. The money is what is left behind in savings that belonged to the deceased. A will could be anything, money, belongings, or sometimes a demand. A demand happens to be your father's case.”

A sad look appeared on his face.

“Why does everyone think mom is going to die?”

“She seems… very sick.”

“Yeah, but she's fine! She's has to be! Sick people eventually get better! She has to as well, right?”

“Yes, but that's not always the case, some people don't get better at all.”

“She's not some people! Mommy will get better, I know she will!”

The boy's face gleamed with an innocent smile at the idea of his confidence. He's just a little angel. At that moment, I didn't just want to guard his life, I wanted to guard his heart.

The conversation was through, when a woman's voice cut into it.

“Tidus!”

I looked to find his mother standing in the entrance of the hallway.

She scowled at him, he reacted by cowering. The poor boy looked like a dough that had just been beaten. My heart melted instantly for him. What did the poor kid do this time? I wondered. She spoke again and in a scolding manner.

“Why didn't you wake me up when he got here?”

“You were sleepy last night mommy, so I didn't want to wake you up.”

“What did I tell you?”

“I'm sorry.”

���We have important things to discuss! I told you to waffle me up when he got here!”

She looked over to me worth a more welcoming stare than her poor son. I looked over to him. He had picked up a book and started reading. With a gesture from his mother, I followed her back to her room.

She had a bunch of papers cluttered on one desk. Out was an old thing and looked Just as fragile as her. The legs looked like they were about to snap under the weight of the desktop if you poked it too hard. A fragile desk for a fragile woman.

“Sorry. I know my room is a mess. You had me really thinking last night, so I made a trip to mine and Tidus’s social worker downtown at three. I didn't make it back till five in three morning. Let me tell you, people don't joke weekend they say,

“Zanarkand never sleeps.” I was surprised to find the office still open and or social worker filling out papers.”

“I heard. You left your son alone?”

“I told him to lock the door, it wasn't the first time I left him alone. Don't worry.”

“I am going to worry because it's dangerous to leave your seven-year old child at home, by himself, at three o'clock in the morning, for two hours! Should I go into the many scenarios of which things could have gone terribly wrong!?

I couldn't help myself. I heads to yell. She was vetoing entirely reckless with her child, not realizing how delicate bee actually was.

“I'm glad you care so deeply for my son as you do.”

“Can we talk about this later? We need to discuss your husband's will.”

“I need you to take custody of my son when my time here is up.”

“Wha-”

“I know this is sudden, I believe you knew my husband well, and you Monday be the only person I can trust. You get my will and this house. Everything you need to take care of him is provided. The only other person I can trust with this task is an old and disabled woman and can't take care of him, and the other people next door only want the money. They will put Tidus in foster care the first chance they get. I know you think I'm a horrible mother, but you have to believe me when I say I really do love my son. I don't want him in the hands of people who don't care about him. You will though, I can tell. You're already attached. So will you take him?”

“... I will take him, that is Jecht's will and I'll fulfill it.”

“Thank you… We should get started, these papers aren't going to fill themselves out.”

We went straight to it. Thirty minutes in, and she began to doze off.

I tried to get her to lay down for a bit, but she refused.

“Really, if you're tired, you should try to sleep.”

“No. These papers need to be finished.”

“We're halfway through, there's no harm in taking a break.”

“But if I lay down, there's no guarantee I'll wake back up either.”

She had a point, in order to become Tidus’s guardian, I had no choice but to fill these papers out.

Some odd minutes past by, and we had finished filling out everything. I was finally able to get Tidus’s mother back to bed. I felt no reason to stay, so I grabbed my sword and started heading towards the door. When I was walking by the kitchen, something caught my eye.

Tidus was trying to reach a box of crackers sitting on the counter, he wasn't quite tall enough to reach them, but he kept trying. It had occurred to me that he hasn't eaten all this time. I searched the cupboards for a plate until I eventually found one. I took the crackers and put them on a plate for him, then rummaged through the freezer box to get the stuff to make him a sandwich.

I made him two sandwiches, one for now, and another for later in case his mom didn't wake up for the rest of the day, or to sick to make him anything. We sat together while he ate.

“Not too shabby” I'd ask.

“Nope!”

His answer was muffled, but his head movements showed approval. After he finished eating, I resumed my departure. I was heading to the door when he ran up behind me and put his arms around me.

“Thank You for the sandwich Auron! Bye!”

I was flustered, I wasn't used to embrace, so out seemed normal of me to react. When my face cleared up, I turned to him and smiled.

“You're welcome, kiddo. See you around.”

I walked out this door, but something was trying to pull me back. It was as if the whole house was going to blow up and be disintegrated with everyone in it if I didn't turn back around.

I left that night, but I felt I had made a big mistake, and at a critical moment too. When I learned of this mistake, I had never been so scared in my life.