#i am like in toddler town where the children get very mad if you point out how childish it all is

[veggietale]

everyone in london lives such silly whimsical lives and they have no idea. they all think its serious.

[pixiedoodlein]

I’m so fucking mad that a year and a half into this pandemic I am back to 11th hour debating another year of homeschool. The first stretch of homeschool, in NYC, when the toddler was a baby, and husband was home on unemployment, was good, nice even, a quiet piece of something good when the world outside was falling apart. The next stretch, the Oklahoma stretch, with a particularly climby toddler, husband working 10 hour days, me doing remote contract work, somewhere we had no family around to help w/ childcare, was challenging. I was not always my best self. Some days were delightful, muffins and math games. Other days I was more Miss Trunchbull than Miss Honey, fractions were squeezed in between crying (usually mine) and netflix (way too much of hers), and I held on to any shred of sanity by telling myself “just a little longer, just until the vaccines.”

Well here we are. Husband & I have been vaccinated for months, but the kids aren’t yet. The upstate NY town we moved to is a very small town (pop: 838), was mostly untouched by previous waves. When we got here, I couldn’t understand why everyone was so lax about it- no masks, no panic. Our first day here, when I came home from the market and saw through the window a gaggle of unmasked kids in my living room (the neighbors coming to welcome us, they heard a kid moved in) I almost had a heart attack. In fact, I was so tired from the drive from OKC that for a moment I actually thought I was at the wrong house, that I was hallucinating, because how in the world could there be unmasked bodies in my living room.

Then I started talking to people here. And I realized that the way I thought they were insane for not being deathly afraid of covid, they thought I was insane for being petrified. Because the disease hadn’t hit here; their businesses were destroyed and their kids were out of school (in a rural area with barely functional internet, remote school = a lost year) and their lives were totally fucked up, for a disease that never arrived at their doorstep. I came to understand why they weren’t worried, why here life looked (almost) normal. I told them about what it was like to live somewhere covid tore through, the freezer trucks of bodies on the FDR Drive and my previously healthy 27yld brother so sick with it the first spring he thought he was about to die (but too scared to go to a hospital), my dad’s relative in the next NYC wave on a vent for months and lucky to be alive but may never walk again, the doctors in OKC pleading on the news to please wear a fucking mask because the hospitals were fucking full, and the neighbors stopped thinking I was psycho when I carried extra masks for their kids, and made them put them on, when I took them to town for ice cream. I never stopped masking. But we did indoor dine here (once, BBQ, it wasn’t delicious enough for how anxious I felt) and I did bring all the kids, including my toddler, to a fairly crowded children’s museum in the big (small) city an hour away, where the rest of us were masked but the one with his hands in his mouth, who was all up in other kids’ faces, the one who really should be masked, wasn’t because he won’t leave it on for more than a minute.

Actually it’s a lie to say that I never stopped masking- I have dashed into little stores here, without one, because I’m vaxed! It’s safe here! Covid felt done. We had friends come here to visit this summer. Friends who are vaxed, but that doesn’t seem to really matter enough anymore. We had the neighbors over for meals, indoors (you see, more indoor dining! A minute ago I was just thinking restaurants, but why would plagues only spread in restaurants?). They had us for meals. The girls are a crew, new best friends, making my daughter’s life here so, so much happier, constant sleepovers (their kids were at our house this afternoon; my kid is at their house right now). The parents and grandparents are wonderful, making my life here, and husband’s life here, so much easier, so much better. We help them with stuff, they help us with stuff, there isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t see each other, unmasked. Some of the adults in their household are vaxed; some of the adults in their household are not. The kids are all too young to be vaxed. But it (living, doing shit again, seeing people again) really stopped feeling scary; it really felt like everything was fine, normal-ish, normal-er. The end of the pandemic felt in sight.

I signed my child up for school here. Real school, not mommy school, school with a school bus. She was a little anxious, I had to talk her into it, I sold it hard, I bought her whatever pair of new sneakers she wanted for her new school (she hasn’t had gym class in a year and a half; for a phase in Oklahoma she wore one boot and one sandal every day, why not). She wasn’t anxious about sneakers or covid; she was anxious that maybe she hadn’t learned enough in homeschool (I am not a teacher! I did not homeschool because I am good at it or love it or wanted to, I homeschooled because I was scared of her getting covid at school and dying), that she would be behind. She isn’t behind. I followed the real school curriculum as best I could (as in: sometimes totally and sometimes not at all), and somehow, when I gave her the standardized “real school” test “at the end of the year” (aka the day I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to focus on my work or I wasn’t going to have an income, the day I’d decided we’d done as much as we could and it was time to be done), she sailed through it, this kid is smart. Smart as in needs to be in actual real fucking school to stay smart and learn and reach her potential.

She got excited- one of the neighbor kids is in her grade. The other kid is older- but the school is small, she’d see her tons. She was excited; I was excited. I registered her for school. Her new teacher sent a nice note. We all were excited. She’s never taken the school bus before but the neighbors take it and she’d be fine on the bus with her besties, the bus would pick her up in front of their house since there’s nowhere to turn around up our hill (we are VERY rural), they’d all get on and off the bus together. She has been backpack shopping. We have been discussing what she’ll have for breakfast (honey nut Cheerios), what she wants me to pack for lunch (she says just Goldfish, I say turkey sandwich, we’re working on it).

But now, 18 days before school starts here, I am thisclose to pulling her out, to embarking on another lovely (not), gratifying (not) year of homeschool, because of covid, delta. When we got to our new home in our new tiny town in June, there was no covid here. Now, our county is listed by the CDC as a high transmission area (is there anywhere in the US that isn’t?). 80% of senior citizens here are vaxed; 50% of the total population is, well below the national average. 15 cases per 100,000, in a county of 100,000. I guess this is less rampant than our previous pandemic locales, NYC (currently 25/100K), OKC (49/100K). This is splitting hairs, everywhere is bad. This is what panic does to me: are we better or worse for every decision we’ve made in the past year and a half, every decision that got us here? There are fewer cases here but fewer people and fewer vaccinated people and fewer ICU beds. We aren’t safe even here, but at least we are happy (happy aside from fear of delta death).

I don’t know whether to send my kid to school in 18 days. There will be masks but masks aren’t enough (how many masks do I make her wear? two, ten, a thousand?). This choice feels crazy— in March 2020, when that covid was mostly sparing kids, I yanked her out of school. Now, this covid does hurt kids. How much longer, how many more years, can parents be in this position to make this nightmare choice? What will hurt her more: school or no school? There are vaccines, more than enough in America. We shouldn’t be having to make this choice.

As it is, because of toddler— not because of toddler, because of being a parent to children in a pandemic— my work life, and husband’s, will be severely impacted this year, again. I can’t send him to daycare because he’s too little to leave a mask on (he won’t even leave his pants on!) in a room full of other unmasked toddlers, whose families may or may not be vaxd, may or may not wear masks (there has been a noticeable increase in supermarket mask wearing since we got here, but still not enough, is any of it enough?), may or may not be going to parties and weddings and funerals, daycare providers who may or may not be doing all the same. This means I can only apply to remote jobs, so I can be home with him. Husband has some flexibility, more than he did in OKC, but god forbid he has to work while I have a work call or meeting or work due I didn’t manage to get done at 4am or 11pm when the house is quiet. He can’t bring toddler to work with him, his work is up on scaffold, stenciling ceilings. This will be another year of me muting myself on Zooms while toddler pulls his diaper off and hurls poop at the cat. Would it really be so much harder to also be trying to teach parts of speech to our daughter at the same time? Yes, it would, but I don’t know if I can send my kids back out into the world until they’re vaccinated. I am counting the days, holding my breath, until they can be.

I used to believe in personal choice. I don’t anymore. I want this shit to be mandated, I want the government to line us up and force mRNA into holdouts’ arms, I want it to be required, to be able to function in and interact with and benefit from society in any way, shape, or form. I have been very lucky in the pandemic. Privilege stacked on privilege on privilege, to be fussing over my Zooms in my hamlet. I had been pretty pandemic perky, baking my pies and playing with my pandemic pets and (thinking about) doing puzzles, but I’ve reached my breaking point. This shit could be done, but it’s not, and I’m scared it never will be.

[mybrothershands]

Would be very interested to read about the spoon incident...If you ever feel like writing it?

as you wish~

(sorry if this posts as one long blurb, I cant quite figure out how to make the Keep Reading tab work for those on the app)

"I'm just afraid he'll hurt someone," they would whisper in the streets. He tried not to let it bother him as he carried his drunken caretaker back from the tavern yet again. Maybe the people thought he could not understand them. Maybe that was it.

"Cairo," asked the boy as he knelt beside the man's doorstep in the dark. His voice was thick with lilt as he formed the question, "Why did you take me in?"

The man stared up at the boy, his head flush as he stumbled backwards onto the ground. He smelled of spirits, and his beard was sticky with mead. Though his eyes still seemed kind, his words flowed too easily, as if the gatekeeper had fallen asleep. "Because you're useful, Ka," Cairo had said. He then left into his house where the boy could not follow.

Even though the words said had been in the kindest tone, sweet as honey wine, they still felt rank as they slipped into the young giant's ears. He remained knelt by the doorway for several moments, eyes distant, before he got up and made his way back to the barn he called home. At least he could be alone there. He rubbed his arm against the cold as chained dogs barked at him. To be alone… yes, that was what he needed.

The boy rolled back the big barn door, revealing a few changes of clothes folded atop old hay, a single plate with one each of fork, spoon, and blunt knife, and a burlap blanket was draped over a stack of hay bales. In the corner lay a few logs, each at various stages of being whittled into crude animal shapes. He was in the process of taking his shoes off when he heard a knock against the wall. In the bay was a man on horseback. The farmer.

"The sun is not up yet, sir," said the giant, as best he could.

The buckskin fidgeted under the saddle, but did not move. The rider had his whip today. "Don't argue with me, boy. If you want to eat tonight, you'll work today. Now get your sorry self up," said the old man as he backed the horse away and started down the road at a canter.

After he had his shoe back on, the boy stood, left the barn, and followed at an easy pace. A few miles later, they came to a field, edged in forests. The two skirted around the edges until they came to the very back, where trees and rocks lay piled up on one side from the day before. Drawing his horse around, the man stopped near a stack of oak logs. "I want two sections cleared off- rocks, roots and all. That brushpile needs burned, too. No excuses."

Ka clenched his jaw, but did not argue. Arguing meant more work, so kept his mouth shut and took up his hatchet. By mid-morning his stomach growled, but after noon it grew quiet- replaced with a dull anger and a muffled ache in his back. A tree felled on his knee, a stone dropped on his toe, a branch jabbed him in the eye, it just seemed he could not focus. When the farmer returned to find him sitting down, he gave him a third task of lopping branches. Though the boy did his best to comply with the nit-picking, it wore on him like a blister.

No sooner had the man left than Ka started mumbling to himself as he hacked at a stubborn root. He worked until dusk, then returned home- throat raw, hands bloody, and body aching to find Cairo waiting for him atop a stack of hay bales with a lamp in his hand. The giant glared at him. "What do you want?"

Cairo shrugged, "To see you. You've been gone all day," he said. With a sigh, Ka took a seat, angled pointedly away from the man, who cocked his head. "What, are you not talking today? What's the matter?"

"You want to guess?" he sneered. his face was hard as he cast a glare back at the man, who blinked in surprise.

"What did I-" He stopped himself, seeming to remember something, and thought for a moment. "Did I… I didn't say something while I was drunk, did I?"

Ka was silent.

Cairo got up, lamp in hand, and walked over the row of hay bales towards him. "Look, I don't know what I said, but-" He sighed, staring up at the back of the boy's head. "Lempkins brought your dinner over."

He glanced over to his plate, piled with oatmeal and a few dozen apples. Horse food, Ka thought. "I'm not hungry."

"Yes, you are, you haven't eaten all day," the man quipped. He watched Ka cross his arms and then slur something in his native tongue. Cairo set his lamp down roughly and stood up straight. "Look, I don't know what happened, but I'm not going to have you acting like this."

"Or what? You'll kick me out?" Ka snapped. "You're not my father. Don't tell me what to do."

Cairo rubbed his face then pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm not going to kick you out, Ka," he groaned.

"I know you won't. You won't because I'm useful. Useful for taking you home from the bar at night and saving you every time you get into a fight. Meanwhile I don't even have a proper bed to sleep in- or a blanket for that matter," he said as he grabbed the burlap blanket and pitched it across the room, surprising even himself that he had done it. What was worse was it made him mad that he had not restrained himself. He probably looked like some kid throwing a tantrum right now.

Cario approached the boy, grabbing his sleeve. "Now you quit throwing things and calm down! Tell me who told you that," he demanded. At once the giant turned and swore at him again, ranting in words he did not understand. The human glared up at him even as the voice came in roars, then spread his arms and curled his lip. "What is wrong with you today?"

It was then Ka grabbed the spoon, a metal one with a wooden handle. He pointed it in Cairo's face. "You are what's wrong. All you care about is yourself and your liquor. I thought you were my friend."

The man stared up at him, stunned for once. He brushed the utensil aside. "What did I do? Who told you all this?" Though he tried to mask it, there was a trace of a quiver in his voice. Still, he stood his ground.

"Oh, what, you're afraid too, now? Like everyone else in this stupid town?"

Cairo shook his head, then turned to leave. "No, you're out of control. You won't talk to me, you're throwing things, and you're acting a fool," he growled as he picked up his lamp. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"So you are scared," Ka sneered.

The human wheeled around, spread his arms, and flipped his hands. "You want to fight? Okay, we'll fight!" He bellowed. He took his lamp and pitched it at him, breaking the glass against his shoulder.

Ka let out a yelp. Brushing out the flames, the glass dug deeper into his skin. Even in the dark, he could tell Cairo had not given up his ground, arms still spread in an aggressive stance. They sat there for a moment, neither one moved. Ka gripped the spoon handle tighter. At last Cairo spoke up. "You see? Not afr-"

The next thing Ka knew, the man was folded up on the hay, and he was drawing his hand away with the spoon still in it. Certain it had not been that bad, Ka crossed his arms and looked away. The boy felt something rising in his throat, and swallowed hard. He would not cry. Not over someone who saw him as a tool. It was several good moments before he Cairo make a noise.

"Shut up, I did not hit you that hard," he said under his breath, still looking pointedly away. The barn grew silent, save for the sounds of night creatures as their howls floated in through the open barn door. He brushed some of the glass off his shirt, feeling a wet spot where the oil had gotten on it, and then brushed that off of his hands by running it over his pants. It did not stick into his palms. They had become leathery and rough since he had started clearing land for Lempkins. He glanced over to find Cairo still curled up on the hay.

"Quit being so dramatic and get up," Ka growled, setting the spoon back up on the plate. He took a single apple and popped it in his mouth, determined not to worry. When he could stand it no longer, he turned around. The boy had not really intended to touch him, but picked the man up anyway, holding him in a fist. "I said get u-"

His voice died in his throat as he felt tiny crinkles against his palm where ribs should be. The human tried to cry out, but it ended in a twisted squeak as the pain reached his lungs. Every ounce of anger Ka had had in him was replaced with raw, unadulterated fear as the man kicked and beat feebly against his fingers. Cairo never struggled. Not ever.

Ka brought his other hand up and laid the man out flat in his palms as he stared, not quite understanding. He felt his body grow weak, then start to shake. What have I done?

He got to his feet and bolted out the door, rounded the side of the barn, and pounded up the street. The few who were still about dove out of the way. A toddler screamed for her mother. A dog ran under a henhouse with its tail tucked. Men grabbed their wives and children and ushered them inside. They were right about him; they had been right all along.

At last he fell to his knees beside a two-story home, one with a fire still alight inside. "Doctor Baker?" the boy called inside. His hands were too preoccupied to knock on the door. He called again, "Doctor Baker!" He heard a shuffling inside, a thump, and then a woman's talking voice, shrill with worry.

It was then he felt a shuffling in his palms, and looked down to find the human staring up at him. He did not seem angry nor afraid. In fact it was hard to tell what he was feeling at all.

Ka's hands were beginning to shake now, and he steadied them on his lap. "I'm… I am..." He searched for the word as tears began to well. He shook his head. "Tha mi duilich."

The second story window opened, and a man of about twenty-five stuck his head out, his day clothes still on. Dr. Baker glared up at him at first, about to snap, when he saw the fear on Ka's face. The man paused a moment and then ducked back inside without a word. In a moment, the door opened, but only a head peaked out. "What happened?" he said, not daring to take a step further.

"I hurt him, sir…" he said, his breath shaking as he held out his hands. "I- I hurt him bad."

[ghostflowerdreams]

List of Free Horror Games (2019)

This is an updated list of free horror games. The other list is old because some of the links on it are broken or the games are no longer free. This time I’ve included a description with each one. Some of these games you can even play right in your browsers (just make sure you’ve updated your Abode Flash). 

1916 - Der Unbekannte Krieg

Nestled deep inside the deluged trenches of the German frontline, you play as a soldier desperately looking for a way out. Hidden somewhere in the sunken maze of passageways is a ladder, and finding it almost certainly spells freedom. The only thing that stands between you and safety is a pack of dinosaurs.

3 AM

The city has been evacuated, something sinister haunts it at night, only a single path is safe, but to find it you have to lose your soul. A game inspired by H.P. Lovecraft. Specifically the dogs of Tindalos.

5 Days A Stranger

Trilby, a cat burglar, breaks into an supposedly vacated manor of the aristocratic DeFoe family. He quickly finds that things are not that simple. Together with a group of strangers, he finds himself imprisoned by some invisible intelligence. A force prepared to do anything to keep them all there forever.

7Days

It's a psychological horror game done in first person perspective. The game has very little plot or background. All you know is that you are a person who wakes up in a bed in a house. Your goal is to to get out of the house, but of course things aren't that simple.

Alice Mare

The game follows an amnesiac young boy named Allen who was placed under the care of a man called Teacher who looks after four other children. One night, Allen investigates the rumor of a mysterious voice on the second floor and when he returns to his room, he finds a strange black cat who leads him into his closet.

Animal Village

It’s a short survival horror game with light dating sim elements made for the Pixel Horror Jam 2016. The game is about exploring the pit in the middle of Animal Village, a quaint little settlement inhabited by talking animals. Don't talk to the bird-headed man, don't acknowledge him and don't trust him.

Ao Oni (青鬼, lit. 'Blue Demon')

The player assumes the role of Hiroshi, a young teenager who enters a haunted mansion with his friends, Takuro, Takeshi, and Mika (Along with Kazuya and Ryota in the original). Shortly after entering the mansion, the doors lock behind them. Hiroshi doubts that the mansion is haunted, but soon finds himself being pursued by an enigmatic blue Oni. Hiroshi must now find a way to save as many of his friends as possible and escape the mansion alive.

Ascension

It’s a psychological horror game in which you play as Atticus, a groundskeeper who has brought his sick daughter to work on the day of a horrible accident in his building. Separated from his daughter, Atty must survive the hordes of monsters stalking him and make it back to her before something else reaches her first.

Baby Blues

You play as Tommy, a toddler that wakes up to a strange noise in the middle of the night with a bright light shining in his eyes. Realizing his beloved teddies are missing; he climbs down out of bed and start to look for them.

Backstage

Tom Keller is lost. He has gone astray, and become trapped in a nightmare world that is a twisted mirror image of our own, tormented by horrific aberrations, haunted by shattered memories. He is alone behind the world, and to escape, he must come to terms with all of his sins.

Bad Dream: Series

It’s a series of short point-and-click games. It takes place in a creepy, dark and sad land of dream. Some of games will be a cruel and painful as nightmare, and some will be disturbing and illogical. Gameplay will always look the same, but the dreams will be different.

Project Entities: Blame (originally simply titled Blame)

This is a horror survival game. You have to dig into the game, however, to piece it together. You might also have to uncover a lot of the hidden and secret material. Epileptics, as well as those who are sensitive to light play at their own discretion.

Bunny Man - Lost Souls

It’s a game made in Slender-style where you go around and save people's souls from an urban legend creature called Bunny Man. Your goal is to save as many souls as you can before he catches you.

Candles

It’s a 3D game where you have to light up your house, which has been invaded by dangerous imps. 

Corpse Party Zero

It’s a survival horror adventure fan-made game by Noraenu created using RPG Tkool XP. It’s a prequel which stars two sisters mentioned only in passing in Corpse Party, Kaori Hasegawa and Shiho Hasegawa, who try to escape from the cursed school.

Corpse Party -Rebuilt-

It’s the remake of the original survival horror adventure game in the Corpse Party series made by an anonymous member of a Japanese message board with permission from Team GrisGris. A group of friends unknowingly perform an occult ritual that traps them in an otherworldly elementary school. Here, the vengeful spirits of young children threaten their lives and their sanity, and the only hope of survival is to uncover the chilling details behind the murders of those trapped before them...

The Crooked Man

David Hoover decides to move into a new apartment during a rough time in his life. After some odd occurrences, he decides to ask about the room's former owner, but learns little. So he sets off in search of him, strangely compelled to know more about this man...

Cry of Fear

It’s a psychological single-player and co-op horror game set in a deserted town filled with horrific creatures and nightmarish delusions. You play as a young man desperately searching for answers in the cold Scandinavian night, finding his way through the city as he slowly descends into madness.

Daily Chthonicle

You take on the role of a Supernatural Newspaper Agency boss and editor. The world it takes place in is a dark and haunted one, with ghosts, zombies, monsters and even shapeshifting murderers, pretending to be human after they have stolen their victims' bodies or infiltrated the humanity. It was inspired heavily by the works of H.P. Lovecraft and it builds on the atmosphere of uncertainty and noir of the 1940s.

Dark Deception

It’s a story-driven first-person horror maze game. There's nowhere to hide and nowhere to catch your breath. Run or die -- it's your choice. Trapped in a realm of nightmarish mazes with a mysterious woman, your only hope of survival is to find a way to escape the darkness.

Dark Dread

A missing teenager. An abandoned hospital. You are a detective who has to find out what happened to Helena Greenwood.If you don't go insane while doing so...

Deep Sleep, Deeper Sleep & The Deepest Sleep

You are stuck inside a nightmare dream. Something lurks in the darkness... Something in the depths of your own mind wants to pull you even deeper. Someone will escape this dream for sure. The question is -- who is that going to be?

The Designer's Curse

The first chapter of an unforgettable survival horror experience. Solve puzzles and work your way through this terrifying place. You may be more familiar with it than you initially think.

The Devil Haunts Me

Survive, explore and discover the secrets of the woods. But be careful, there's something else in these woods...

Devil's Tuning Fork

It’s a first-person exploration/puzzle game in which the player must navigate an unknown world using visual sound waves. Inspired by M.C. Escher’s classic optical illusion and the echolocation of dolphins.

Dissolving

Her ex-boyfriend became a shut-in. The girl goes to visit him... then things start to go wrong. They always do, right? Experience two stories about digital gods and loss. And remember -- believe in the net.

Disturbed

Play as a farmer who struggles to manage a failing farm. You come to a point where there is no more hope, and you must do something.

Doorways: Old Prototype

It’s an immersive and twisted adventure created before the official development of the Doorways saga.

Doki Doki Literature Club

The Literature Club is full of cute girls! Will you write the way into their heart? This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed.

Don't Escape

I woke up in a room... It is not locked and I remember everything. I'm a werewolf. Tonight I will turn and people will die... unless I find a way to prevent myself from escaping this place.

Don’t Look Now

Don’t look at them. They will drain you of your last sanity if they catch you. Direct your consciousness and reach your happy place.

Erie

Erie begins in October 1966, when the Fermi 1 Nuclear Power Generator suffers a partial meltdown, and locals begin disappearing from a sleepy Michigan town. Oliver Victor is a Red Cross Investigator sent to find missing locals, but quickly finds himself trapped underground and being hunted by a product of forced-mutation experiments.

Eyes

If you like Slender, you'll like this too. You’re to search an old, abandoned house and collect any valuables but be careful -- there are rumors of a ghost haunting the building.

Exmortis & Exmortis 2

You wake up in the woods with no memory of how you got there. Nightmares of blood and screams still echo through your mind. It's late and it's cold - unless you can find shelter fast, you won't last the night. You spot a house in a clearing up ahead and left with no choice - you decide to shelter there for the night. Soon after you begin to realize that death is a welcome choice compared to what lies waiting for you inside...

Fausts Alptraum

It’s an single player, puzzle game created by LabORat Studio, an indie game team from Taiwan. The story is based on Goethe's Faust. Players will play as a troubled girl wandering around in a crayon-drawn world.

Forget Me Not Annie

It’s a first person psychological horror game. You play as a 15 year old girl Annie who is trapped within her own mind and has to use her telekinetic powers with the help of Howard who you are able to summon at any moment to surpass puzzles.

From Next Door

It’s a short mystery-horror game developed for the 2016 Pixel Horror Jam. It draws inspiration from the works of Junji Ito and games like Silent Hill, with the story focused on the eerie and the bizarre. It tells the story of a young woman who moves into a new house, only to experience weird occurrences from the seemingly empty house next door. Depending on your choices the outcome will change and could even grant her safety or not.

The Groundskeeper

After a horrific accident, you find yourself trapped in an unfamiliar place where no one can hear you scream. There's a dark presence... A dark secret that this place holds. Is there any way out? Is HE watching?

Hello? Hell…o?

It’s a Japanese RPG horror game by Ryuuichi Tachibana created with RPG Maker VX Ace. You play as a boy named Kazuki that is going through strain in a relationship with his girlfriend, Akari. It takes place in a strange room where you have to accomplish certain things in order to complete all the endings.

Hide

Play hide and seek with someone who hides in the mist. All you have is your ears.

The House & The House 2

It’s a point-and-click flash horror game. Built in 1970, and deserted some time after that, no one has entered the house since the entire family committed suicide due to reasons unknown. Your goal is to search through the house to unfold the mystery of what really happened to that fateful fictitious family.

Human

It’s a short psychological horror game which examines inherent, earthly, and otherworldly evils, and the forces which drive them. As you make your way through an Alaskan auroral research facility in search of employees it quickly becomes very clear that something has become alerted to your presence.

I Can’t Escape

You have fallen into a vast underground maze. Can you find your way out, or will you end up trapped in darkness forever?

I See You

You play as an unnamed protagonist waking up in an empty hospital. However, it soon turns out the hospital is not quite so empty...

Ib

A young girl named Ib visits an art gallery with her parents. While observing the many exhibits, she suddenly realizes she is alone. And in her search for others, she finds things awry in the gallery...

Ildefonse

In 1935, Mr. Ildefonse was betrayed by his wife who then fled with their children, Mr. Ildefonse lost his head and unleashed a massacre at his home involving employees, then he committed suicide. The rest of the story is completed with letters from tenants who lived in the building, which was later converted into flats but haunted by the things that happened in the past.

In the game, the year 1977, the player is a lawyer hired to collect the testament papers in the house, requested by a family member.

Imscared: A Pixelated Nightmare

The player must find keys, open doors and search for the exit to this nightmare.

Lamia Nox

It’s an indie horror game made with RPG Maker VX Ace. Laura, an 14-year-old who is pretty much a normal young girl. But her life is changed for the worse when she wakes up one day to find that her home is completely different. 

The Last Door: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3 & Episode 4

Free episodic horror game, with original pixel-art visuals and a gorgeous orchestral music score. Surrounded by a thrilling sound atmosphere, player's will experience a really immersive environment thought the stimulation of their imagination, just like classic horror writers like Poe and Lovecraft used to.

Leave

The game begins with the protagonist waking up in her bedroom, but it's up to the player to search her house for the backstory.

Lucie

Lucie, a girl who, after waking up in a strange room realizes that she is stuck in a lucid dream. She encounters evil beings and traps while searching for her body.

Lurking

It’s a sound-based survival thriller gae, where sound is the only way you see, and they hear your fears.

Mad Father

Aya Drevis is a young girl living in an isolated mansion in northern Germany. Since her mother's passing, she's felt lonely living with just her father and his assistant Maria. What's more, she knows her father's secret...

Mermaid Swamp

Rin Yamazaki and her college friends have their car break down in the mountains on a trip. Fortunately, a kindly old man offers to let them stay at his house. But there's a legend about the swamp outside the mansion...

Misao

It's been three months since the mysterious disappearance of Misao. No one has any idea where she could have gone, but many believe she's dead by now. And when paranormal events crop up around the school, rumors spread that she's out for revenge...

Miserere

In Miserere you explore the dreams of a lonely space station occupant. The unnamed occupant have been on this station for years, all alone. Needless to say, this has taken its toll on our poor protagonists mind. This occasionally shows in the dreams. But there are still glimmers of hope.

Nightmare of the Snow

It’s a RPG Adventure Horror game developed in late 2013. The game centers on Yuuki Shinozaki, a shy middle schooler who is attending a farewell party, but before that, she is taken mysteriously to a lost dimension where a mansion that was supposed to had disappeared for many years exists. 

Ningyo Heart

It’s about a man’s journey through a nightmare, in search for his beloved and finding his true self. The main theme in this horror game is friendship, romance and horror. Game play will focus on puzzle solving & survival horror (run and chase event).

Nyctophobia

You have a job. That job is to be a security guard during the night shift at a local office complex. You and Marley do it every night. Get decent pay for it too. Enough to keep you going. But Marley's just called in sick, so you gotta do the shift alone. Shouldn't be bad, right? Well, the power's just gone off, and I don't think you're alone anymore...

OFF

It’s an 2003 RPGmaker created game. You take control of a mysterious person called “The Batter”, who is described to be on an important mission. The Batter, and yourself as his controller, are dropped off in zone 0, the first of 4 zones in a perplexing, unknown world about which you slowly find out more and more in the process of the game.

One Late Night

It’s a short immersive horror-game experience, starring an unnamed graphic designer employee, working late one night at the office, until strange things start to happen.

Pact With a Demon - Episode 1 & Pack With a Demon - Episode 2

You must survive on an island after a car accident and find a way out, while several demonic creatures try to attack you.

Palette

One night, the psychiatrist Sianos B. Sian is requested to counsel a girl called B.D., who has lost her eyesight and memory in an accident. Through conversations with her over the phone, the past that hides in her memories comes to light...

Phantasmal: Survival Horror Roguelike

Experience Terror that is Never the Same Twice with Phantasmal, a Lovecraftian survival horror that evolves every time you play!

Pocket Mirror

It’s a horror game created in RPGMaker VX ACE. You play as a nameless girl in the journey to find her purpose and memories within a mysterious world.

Port of Call

Imagine waking up on a small dock with no recollection of who you are or how you got there. The first person you find is a grumpy, old man who enlists you to work on his ferry boat which seems to have materialized behind you.

[REC] Shutter

It’s a horror game that you must progress through levels while avoiding the paranormal and solving puzzles. You take the role of a reporter named Connor, who will be investigating Pennyhill, a dark hunted asylum.

Re:Kinder

Third-grader Shunsuke goes to stay over at his grandmother's house. Upon his return home, he finds not his familiar hometown, but a ruined town of death. He meets his surviving friends and some other children their age, but a crueler reality awaits them...

Schuld

It’s a surreal, psychological horror game. This is an translated version of the German game. Schuld (Guilty) is about a man who finds himself in a dying world, without knowing how he got there and why he is there.

SCP - Containment Breach

It’s a survival horror game based on the works of the SCP Foundation community.

September 1999

Its a free, VHS styled, first-person found footage horror game, which runs exactly for 5 minutes and 30 seconds.

Serena

It’s a point-and-click adventure horror game. How long has it been? A man sits in a distant getaway cabin waiting for his wife Serena. Where is she? Things in the cabin evoke memories, and the husband comes to a disturbing realization... 

Shutter

You are woken up by a sudden loud noise in the middle of the night in your recently moved into apartment. Moving boxes are scattered all over the place, still things left to unpack. All the lights in the house are turned on, but you're sure you turned them off. You leave your room to investigate, your trusty camera in hand.

Silent Hill: Room 304

It’s a point-and-click horror game based on the popular video game series, Silent Hill by Konami Digital Entertainment.

Silent Santiago

It’s inspired by the popular Silent Hill survival horror series from Konami. This horror game is developed by students of a Chilean university. The streets in this game are inspired by the reality of the Santiago city, in Chile, going so far as to recreating the plazas and the narrow alleys. The atmosphere, however, is incredibly eerie and similar to the Silent Hill games, with a thick fog covering the entire city. The goal of the game is to navigate the maze-like streets of the city of Santiago and to reach the exit.

Slender: The Eight Pages

The game centers around an unknown character being chased by the Slender Man in the woods while seeking eight pages scattered about various landmarks.

Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion

Can you survive 1000 rooms of cute terror? Or will you break once the cuteness starts to fade off and you're running for your life from the unspeakable hideous beings that shake and writhe in bowels of this house? They wait for you, they wait and hunger for meeting you.

The Night That Speaks

You don't remember how you got to the graveyard, but you know you've been meaning to visit.

The Static Speaks My Name

A dark, sad, weird, and funny first-person exploration game. You play a man on his last night alive as he obsesses over a mysterious painting.

Try to Fall Asleep

John Herrin survived a horrible accident and as a result, he damaged his brain and lost his memory. Only Dr. Rick Norberg and the friendly robot "AB" can help John to recover from his brain damage and restore his broken memory. 

By falling asleep and rediscovering the past in his dreams, John can restore his memory and remember what caused the unfortunate catastrophe in one of the most secretive laboratories of the "Revivel" company. But due to John's brain damage, falling asleep won't be as easy as it seems at first... 

Vanish

Thrown into a Labyrinth for reasons unknown, you must roam through the darkness to find your escape. Do you have what it takes to get out alive? Or will you be another feast for the walls that seem to live?

Which

It’s a short game in which you look for a way to open the door out of the small house.

The White Chamber

It’s a point-and-click horror adventure game. You play as a trapped young woman from 3rd person perspective as she solves puzzles and overcomes the twisted obstacles in her path.

The Witch’s House

The young Viola visits a mysterious house in the woods. She soon discovers its dangerous nature and must find a way out. But the house is ever-changing, and death could be lurking anywhere...

Within Deep Sorrows

A demon haunts you throughout your nightmares, as it gradually makes its way into the real world. The only way to prevent this from happening is for you, Johnston Barker to destroy your diary, which is hidden within your third dream. Each descending dream makes it harder to avoid the demon, allowing it to become stronger, and more aggressive. The time period is set in the 1990's, though when dreaming, it is set back in the 1950's. You are not alone however, as your conscious speaks to you during the process, giving you guidance as you deeply wonder within your nightmares.

Yume Nikki (ゆめにっき, lit. Dream Diary)

It’s a 32-Bit game created by KIKIYAMA, a mysterious Japanese game designer. It was made using RPG Maker 2003. The players explore the dreams of a hikikomori named Madotsuki, where they encounter a number of surrealistic horror creatures and locations.

[dramallamadingdang]

I was going to do this with "in-line" replies, but it just got unwieldy and doing the mentions in a multi-reply reply is a PITA. So we do it this way. A really long (sorry!) post of replies for @taylors-simblr, @niamh-sims, @hugelunatic, @mustluvcatz-reloaded, @simaddicted-sue, @dunne-ias, @pensblr, @mdpthatsme, and @yuichen about kids and stuff...

taylors-simblr replied to your post “OMG, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!”

I am very happy that Christmas is over, we went to my mums. I had decided it would be lovely, and it was to an extent, but we were there for 5 days and there were too many people and kids and by day 3, I was peopled out and just wanted to get home. Daughter had her 3rd birthday on Friday too and was a horrible mess of over excitement ��, but that’s all over and things are getting back to normal. Except for the piles of toys people bought us, that I have no where to put...

I always feel bad for kids with Xmas-time birthdays. Their special day gets lost in the madness. That’s part of the reason why I always made more fuss over birthdays than Xmas, since my son’s birthday is December 17. Mini-Taylor is young enough not to be resentful, but I hope she'll be OK as she gets older. :)

But yeah, for me, the main problem is that everyone was at my house and stayed here because lodging in this area is scarce and the affordable options have to be booked months or sometimes even years in advance. My son is in the Army and he’s only just home after a long deployment, and the timing of his going home was always in question. When they knew (more or less) for sure when they’d be coming, all of the lodging in the area had long been booked. (This is why we have frequent (adult) houseguests, which I'm perfectly fine with.) The original plan was for my son and his family to stay with his wife's family, which is literally next door because my son married the literal girl next door. That would have been better. Theirs is an enormous family -- 14 kids, 3 bio ones and the rest fosters that were taken in and adopted, most of them still teens and younger -- so they have a huge house and they're well used to little-kid chaos and sort of revel in it. But right before people were scheduled to arrive, their house came down with some severe plumbing problems, and stuffing it with 30+ people was just a no-go. So, they ended up here, at more or less the last minute.

The kids are 4, just past 2, and 7 months old, all in the age range that I can't tolerate. I'm OK with tiny, non-mobile babies, but after they're mobile, I do not want until they're about 8-to-10 or so. So, since they were here, if I wanted peace, I was the one who had to leave my own house. Which isn't terrible or anything in the grand scheme of things, but it is annoying. Plus, the 7-month-old had an ear infection, and flying cross-country didn't help it. They almost cancelled coming out because of it, but the 4-year-old had been promised learning how to snowboard and would have been totally crushed. So then daughter-in-law was going to stay back with 7-month-old, but that seemed unfair to DIL to be deprived of her family, and I and the other grandparents hadn't even seen the younger two kids in person. So, they drugged 7-month-old up to his eyeballs, and did the thing. So 7-month-old was just crabby and awful and had trouble nursing the whole time, which only added to the crabby awfulness, which in turn made 2-year-old awful. (Four-year-old was actually pretty OK the whole time, did learn to snowboard, and sort of fell in love with my husband. Which, you know, I understand. *laugh* They both cried when she left. :) ) I understood that the baby didn’t feel well and the 2-year-old was upset by it, of course, but that doesn't make it any less annoying when they're both screaming more or less 24/7. Gave me terrible flashbacks to my daughter's preemie-baby/toddlerhood. *sigh*

But yeah, I survived to rant about it. :) 

niamh-sims replied to your post “OMG, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!”

I am a woman who doesn't want my own children (much to the chagrin of many people I speak with), and I struggle with other people's kids. In saying that though, I absolutely adore my 5 year old nephew, he is a dude, and my 9 year old step-son is an old soul and extremely mature with a wicked sense of humour. They're all I need!

I hate the presents aspect of it! 

See, 9-year-olds I'm (usually) fine with. My window of intolerance is from about 6 months through the little-kid years. It seems like when a kid hits 8 or 10 or so that a switch flips in them and their behavior changes from little-kid to big-kid. Sometimes that happens earlier, often with girls; I've known 5-or-6-year-old girls (and a few boys, too) that I've been just fine with. I’ll probably be fine with my son’s eldest when she’s 5 or 6 because she was pretty OK even at 4 under trying circumstances. But mostly it seems to happen in the 8-to-10 window. It's the start of "tweenhood," I guess. I'm fine with "big kids" even if their chronological age is a little younger than normal to be a "big kid." I'm also perfectly fine with teens, even when they're really surly. I'll take a super-surly 14-year-old over a "cute," bouncy, loud 2-year-old, even if well-behaved, any day. Which is weird, I guess, but there it is. Someone has to deal with the teens. :)

And yeah, the presents thing. In my own, nuclear family, starting when it was just me and my little kids, we don't do presents other than small hand-made gifts if someone feels like making them. We just did stockings on the morning of Xmas Eve. They were filled with little things, small toys and candy and as they got older some more practical things, like makeup/nail polish or small bits of sports equipment and stuff. When they hit tweenhood, we'd each fill each other's stockings, not just me filling theirs. We developed a tradition of exchanging goofy toothbrushes that way, of all things. :) It wasn't that we couldn't afford to do big gifts; I just didn't want to instill that kind of mindset in them. Our tradition from the time my youngest was about 8 was to spend Xmas Day at the local shelter/kitchen for homeless/transient people, which did both Xmas breakfast and dinner. We'd be there, kids included, from pre-dawn until after midnight, prepping, cooking, serving, eating with the people the kitchen served, and cleaning up. It was actually really fun (the kids even looked forward to it) and really fulfilling and, to me, that's what Xmas ought to be about. Not the consumer frenzy. I have no interest in feeding and perpetuating that frenzy and while it caused some problems as the kids grew up when they found that their peers got showered with extravagant gifts, they also realized that they’d get gift-showered for their birthdays, and they've both said that they prefer the more low-key way we did Xmas as a family as well as the more service-oriented mindset, which they both have continued. Aside from this Xmas just past, which we did more "traditionally," but still without extravagant gifts.

hugelunatic replied to your post “OMG, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!”

I love my granddaughter to pieces! But I can only stand being around her without her parents around. LoL

And hello my fellow Grinch! *loves*

They are definitely better without their parents! :) We took 4-year-old to the slopes on the day after Xmas without her parents, and it was a ton of fun. Spent the whole morning teaching her how to snowboard, had lunch in town, boarded bunny slopes/courses with her, would have done dinner out, too, but she was crashing by that point, etc., and it was all great. None of us, including the 4-year-old, wanted to go home to the screaming baby and toddler. *laugh* 

I will be fine when the kids are older. I'm fine with my other set of three grandkids -- the kids of my firstborn, whom I don't call "my son" because he was adopted at birth, so I don't feel that I am his parent for all that he's my bio-son -- the youngest of whom is 8 and the eldest almost 15 (and a Simmer, along with his next-younger sibling :) ). They live in Botswana, but they come over to the states fairly often and will be here this coming fall for a month and will stay with us, and I'm perfectly fine with that. The problem is, my son and his wife want a large family -- She comes from one, they're conservative Christians, etc. -- so by the time they're done having/adopting them, it'll be a long time -- probably longer than I'll live -- that they'll all be older. So then I'm put in the position of wanting to be around some of them but not all of them, which is not fair to them, but...yeah. In some ways, it's good that they live far away. I'm good with visiting with all of them via Skype. :) But they might not always be far. When my son retires from the Army after he puts in his 20 years, they plan to move back out here. But I might not be alive by then or at least I might no longer be able to live at altitude, so there's that. :)

And...GRINCHES UNITE! *high five*

mustluvcatz-reloaded replied to your post “OMG, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!”

And there I was.. Happy as hell to see my grands and sad to see them leave. But I rarely see them so.. *back to being a Scroogy Grinch*

I think most people are happy to see their grands and sad to see them leave. I'm an outlier, I know. I've never actually liked little kids, despite raising two of my own. In truth, my husband and I were pressured into it, he more so than me, but I was trying to be a "good, obedient Christian wife." It's not surprising that I struggled and that it all contributed to the end of that marriage. I did not enjoy my kids when they were little. I gave up my career because I felt that I had to (Husband didn’t want me to, actually, but I couldn’t imagine living the life we lived dragging a kid around, which was another nail in the marriage’s coffin), and there’s a part of me that will always regret that. And I resented that my husband didn’t have to give up his career, that of course it fell to me to do so. I mean, I loved my kids, of course, but that's a different thing from wanting to be around them all the time and always enjoying their company. It was a huge struggle for me, and I'm glad it’s over. Teen/adult kids are great, though, and I'm thankful they both turned out well. Because, yeah, I’m a mom who doesn’t like kids, and worse I was a single mom who didn’t like kids, which could’ve been utterly disastrous, but I muddled through, living for the day when they’d be grown-ups.

And more for the Grinch Club, woo! :) (Also, I am only just now reading about what you're going through. I am so, so sorry. :( )

simaddicted-sue replied to your post “OMG, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!”

I feel your pain and raise you 14 grandkids I love them dearly especially when they are not here lol

*sigh* Should I live long enough, I'll have at least 14 grandkids. My firstborn and his wife are done. They only wanted two, especially because there were problems with the second pregnancy. The third was an IUD fail, and then both got surgically sterilized in the aftermath, just to be safe. But my son and his wife....They want 8, minimum. They're planning on 4 bio kids (and will gladly accept more if they happen), and then they want to adopt, just as her family did. And then there's my daughter and her partner. They will marry in a few years and they're both anti-kid right now...but they're also only in their early 20s and when their mutual female biological clocks kick in, who knows what might happen? They might be like me and remain uninterested in kids for life or they might not. In any case, my health is not the best and will only get worse as time goes on, so I will have that as an excuse not to have littles around much, at least. There are silver linings to chronic conditions! :)

dunne-ias replied to your post “OMG, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!”

meh, stay healthy and you'll live to have a relationship you might even enjoy when they're older. Not everyone has to like kids, even it they're related to you. I had my nephews visiting for a few days, which meant 4 days of almost non-stop Zelda-playing, but they're in just the right age for a visit, as in mature enough to handle their basic needs on their own.

Yeah, older kids can be a lot of fun, and I have no -- or at least a lot fewer -- problems with them. My firstborn's two eldest kids play Sims (The eldest plays TS4, but the 13-year-old prefers TS3. :) ), so sometimes we'll be on Skype together, all playing our games and yakking at each other about it, for hours, and we have a lot of fun that way. The TS3-playing kid and I are playing Dragon Valley concurrently, cycling through the premade households and doing different things with them, which is fun. And my son's four-year-old sat on my lap while I played TS2 a bit to chill out this past week, and she was fascinated and “helped” me a little, so now I plan to "groom" her as best I can going forward. ;) Video games are a good way to bond with kids. :) And when the firstborn's family is here, I'm sure we'll be doing plenty of that, as a group, since all of us love video games of various types. The Mortal Kombat tournament will be vicious and I will undoubtedly lose, but I will have fun while I am repeatedly, violently killed. :) 

We'll just have to see what happens with my son and his planned never-ending parade of children who aren't allowed a lot of screen time and "educational" video games are only allowed in very limited doses. *sigh* I have to come up with a sales pitch that makes TS2 “educational.” Well, it did make my daughter interested in the Middle Ages, since she played a medieval game, and she is now working on a graduate degree in Medieval Studies and has a talent for writing well-researched historical fiction as well as interesting narrative non-fiction, so....

pensblr replied to your post “OMG, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!”

My husband and I really chuckle quite a bit (as we continue to happily enjoy our child-free lives) when we are judged for not doing the whole kid thing by people who always seem stressed-out trying to juggle everything. I'm like 'I don't judge you for wanting children. So don't judge me for not wanting them.'  Recently had a male colleague tell me that God put men and women here to have children, and if we didn't "What's the whole purpose of life then?"

Yeah, child-free is a great way to live! Especially if you're double income/no kids, I'd imagine. IF you can deal with the constant judgment and the pressure from people who want grandkids or nieces/nephews and the accusations of being selfish and pressures from one's religion, if that's a factor, and all that crap, of course. :\ 

Since my husband is almost 20 years younger than me, has no children, and I'm past menopause, I get a lot of side-eyes not just for our age difference (though with my gray hair dyed and a general lack of wrinkles because I’ve never been able to expose myself to much sunlight, I look (and act) younger than I am, so at least that helps with that) but also for our inability to procreate. I get a lot of "But what about when he wants kids? It's not fair to him to be married to someone who can't have kids!" (Which is a lovely argument to lob at anyone! I mean, I guess involuntarily infertile young people shouldn't marry fertile people then? *eyeroll* ) But he doesn't want kids. His own father died suddenly at 39 of a massive coronary, and when it happened his mom checked out for a bit, leaving him to deal with his grief and mostly raise his three younger siblings -- the youngest of whom was only 2 -- until she got her shit together, which took her years to do because she got addicted to the tranquilizers the dumbass doctors prescribed and had to do rehab, etc.. He did his time parenting starting when he was 14 until he was about 22. He has zero interest in having his own kids and can’t imagine that changing, though he loves being around other people's kids that he can give back to their parents. He absolutely loves being a step-grandparent of 6 at the age of 37, in addition to being an uncle to his siblings' kids. :) Even if he does eventually want his own kids, it'll probably be after I'm gone and then he'll be free to find someone to procreate with, if he and that partner want to spawn. So, I tell those people to just fuck right off.

And ugh, that "God put men and women on Earth to be fruitful and multiply and if you don't do it you're just selfish -- and having “sinful” sex -- and going against God's will and there's no point to your life" thing. That's why I had kids. That's NOT the right reason to have kids, but I was so brainwashed at the time that I didn't think that way. Or at all, really, at least not about that subject. Ugh. Ugh ugh UGH! I wish I'd responded with a polite-but-mighty "fuck off," too...but I DO like my kids and am thankful that they exist, so...yeah. 

Rant! Sorry! :)

mdpthatsme replied to your post “OMG, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!”

28 years old, don't like children, don't want to have children because I know this about myself and I'm ok with it. People tell me it's a phase and I'll want children soon enough. I'm like, uh, no. Family and friends get aggravated with me when I don't hold their babies or don't want to watch their children. Like has the point not come across yet?

Yeah, everyone tells under-30 women who don't want kids that they'll change their mind. So many women want to be sterilized but doctors won't do it because "they might change their mind." Some have the nerve to get them to get permission from their husband, if they're married. My daughter suffers from terrible endometriosis is in almost constant pain from it. Over the years she's gone through all the treatments short of hysterectomy and nothing has worked, at least not permanently. She badly wants that hysterectomy but to date has found no doctor -- at least here in the States; I’m thinking she might have better luck in Europe -- who will do one because she's only 22 and unmarried. They think she'll marry a man (which she won't do; she's pretty firmly declared herself a femme lesbian) and then magically want kids. They even have the balls to tell her that if she goes ahead and births a kid, that might cure her condition because GOD FORBID they just do the relatively easy procedure that will likely cure her. Instead, they'd rather saddle her with a kid or at best make her go through a pregnancy and then have the kid adopted. At which point the endo might just come back again. 

I really can't believe how misogynistic gynecologists can be, even the female ones. Maybe their brains are warped by the women who desperately want kids but can't have them. I have enormous sympathy for those women, truly I do, but their plight should not prevent women who don't want kids from taking more drastic steps to not have them and certainly shouldn't force women to suffer through medical conditions that would be cured or at least made better by being completely sterile.

And yeah, the family constantly pushing babies at you and wanting you to babysit, just because you happen to have a pair of boobs. Nope. I'm thankful that my gay brother and his husband are not interested in kids and wouldn’t have cared if I didn’t have any, and that my mother is indifferent to the concept of grandchildren, but I DO have a lot of kid-crazy cousins that I did my best to avoid like the plague but when I couldn't were constantly trying to "convert" me by shoving their "adorable" babies in my face. They don't do it anymore with our advanced age and all, but when they were actively popping them out before I had any, as an older teen/young adult saying I had no interest in kids, it was like they were on a freakin' crusade, complete with forced conversion. *eye roll* Even though at that point I HAD birthed a kid not at all by choice and had given him up for adoption. Nope, not good enough. I had to have one that I wanted, I guess. And when I did have kids, they were all smug and, “See, we knew you’d change your mind!” Even though I really hadn’t. It's sick. Not every woman loves babies/kids.

MOAR RANT! More sorry. :)

yuichen

replied to your post

“OMG, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!”

36, no kids. I like my brother's but probably because they're older and I missed most of their early lives. My cousins' kids, however? Fuck no. I avoid the whole massive family gathering because they weren't taught to have respect for people's things, or how to not act like little psychos. I'm talking jumping on the furniture and running around screaming while their parents do absolutely nothing. In a small house. Fuck. That.

Oh yeah. In my experience, the most adamant baby-pushers were the ones who had the worst-behaved kids. They "loved" them so much that they never established/enforced boundaries and thought that any kind of discipline would damage them somehow. *eye roll* One of my cousins never made her kids sit down to eat. They just wandered around the table grabbing food (with their hands!) from serving dishes or, worse, from other people's plates. They let them do that in restaurants, even. It was disgusting. Or, the most adamant baby-pushers were the ones who were also complaining about how stressful their life/marriage was and who could be heard pining for the pre-kid years of their relationships. And I'd just give them a meaningful look. But if you point out that you just don't want to complicate your relationship/life by adding spawn to it, well then you're just “selfish.” 

Yup. I was at some point, at least in that regard. Being a more fundamentalist-type Christian in my 20s/30s warped my brain on the subject, but down in my heart-of-hearts...I would've been perfectly happy being that kind of "selfish." No, I wouldn’t give up my kids now, but if I’d never had them, I would’ve been perfectly OK, too.

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Chapter Seven:

The One Where Bastard Man Ruins Everything Yet Again

The very second Jacquelyn had hung up the phone with Larry, she threw herself back under her desk and dialed the number to the man that she had called just a little while ago. “Snicket?” she whispered as the person on the other line answered. “Someone needs a ride, and quick.”

“Got it,” Jacques replied. “May I ask who though?”

“Larry,”

“Larry…” Jacques repeated. He gave a small smile. It’s been a while since he had seen Larry. They had tried to remain close friends after the relationship had faltered but VFD missions surely got in the way of that. “Where from?”

“Prufrock Prep,”

“Ah, I was just headed there to help my niece,” Jacques replied. “I will help Larry as soon as I can…”

“Thank you, Jacques,” Jacquelyn replied.

“Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill,” Jacques replied. “The world…”

“Is quiet here,” Jacquelyn finished.

The world is quiet here. This might sound curious, as the motto of a secret organization, or something an associate of yours, like in Lemony Snicket’s case, his brother, might say when he arrives in his taxi to smuggle you across the border, high up into the mountains for a while until you successfully fake your own death and hideaway in the town where you did your apprenticeship for a secret organization. When the world is noisy...the world may feel as if it is coming apart like in….the case of the Baudelaires and Violet Snicket, who’s life was getting very loud and coming apart very fast.

Klaus and Sunny sat amid a crowd. Klaus had found a row of five seats and he and Sunny were looking around desperately for Violet, Isadora, and Duncan. Suddenly, he saw the three running out to the athletic field. The crowd of other students was chanting and cheering making it vastly fucking difficult for any of the five kids to hear. “What’s wrong?” Klaus asked confused as the three slid in their seats passed him. Isadora sat the furthest away from Klaus and Sunny, Duncan sat between his sister and Violet. Violet sat next to Klaus and Sunny sat in the seat right next to the aisle.

“We think we saw Count Olaf!” Isadora cried.

“What?” Sunny asked unable to hear Isadora.

“We think Count Olaf is here!” Duncan screamed.

“Huh?” Klaus asked confused blocking his ears with his hands because the noise was becoming too stimulating for him.

“Thank you. Thank you.” Nero said as he stepped upon the stage. “Welcome to the mandatory pep rally. I don’t know which I like more, the word ‘pep’ or ‘rally’,”

“I like ‘pep’,” Mrs. Bass said, who sat behind the children.

“I like ‘rally’,” Mr. Remora said, who sat behind the children beside her.

“Maybe we should ask our mascot! What do you say?” Nero asked the crowd, who cheered.

“What’s Prufrock’s mascot?” Klaus asked Duncan.

“A dead horse,” Duncan replied.

“What?”

“He said a dead horse,” Isadora replied.

“But that doesn’t matter...You have to listen,” Violet pleaded. “The Quagmires and I saw…”

“Shush!” Mr. Remora hissed from behind them.

“I know things seemed less peppy since our athletes, cheerleaders, and beloved gym teacher vanished on the way home from that away game. But Prufrock Preparatory School has a motto and that motto is ‘Memento Mori’ and it’s an ancient Greek saying…”

“Latin,” Klaus said rolling his eyes.

“...which means, ‘Remember, you will die.’ and soon, indeed, the sun will set, the fiery orb of life, leaving me alone!...alone!...Alone!” he shouted as he looked at the grey sky above. Everyone on and off stage stared at him confused. Duncan took this time to try to write Klaus and Sunny a note, but Mr. Remora closed his commonplace book tossing it to the ground next to Violet and Duncan’s feet. Nero stiffened up. “Until, of course, you meet someone who truly understands and supports you with friendship, camaraderie, and cash bribes. Our gym teacher was irreplaceable, but I have found someone who I know can fill her shoes,”

Violet looked down at the commonplace book saddened by the fact that it had been thrown to the ground and closed shut. She looked up at Klaus and Sunny with a desperate look in her eyes. “Klaus!” she shouted.

Klaus just stared at her for a moment. Trying to block out the noise. “What!?”

“Count Olaf is…” she began before Mrs. Bass shushed her.

“And now, please welcome to the stage, a man with no resume, no letters of recommendation, no credit history, but with such a marvelous ear for music that I’ve hired him as the newest member of our faculty!”

A tall, skinny man stepped onto the stage. The man was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, such as any gym teacher might wear. On his feet were some expensive-looking running shoes with very high tops, and around his neck was a shiny whistle. Wrapped around the top of his head was a length of cloth secured in place with a shiny red jewel. Such things are called turbans and are worn by some people for religious purposes, but Klaus and Sunny took one look at this man, feeling both of their hearts drop instantly. Klaus frowned miserably at the man on the stage, they both knew that this man was wearing the turban for an entirely different reason.

“Your new gym teacher, Coach Genghis!” Nero cheered. The crowd cheered except for the five orphans. Isadora, Duncan, and Violet all turned to Klaus and Sunny, who stayed staring at the man on the stage.

“Count Olaf…” Klaus whimpered.

“Bastard,” Sunny growled.

“So much to learn,” Olaf shouted to the crowd, his eyes fixating right on Klaus and Sunny. His eyes became shiny when he saw his prey sitting next to his newest targets. He smirked. This is going to be easier than I thought… he thought to himself smirking. “...and I am here to school you,” he said smirking mainly at Klaus.

The crowd began to cheer and applaud the awful man. Carmelita jumped on stage dressed up as a cheerleader and began to chant. “Who can’t be beat?!”

The crowd around the kids began to chant in response. “A dead horse!”

This went on for a couple of minutes. The crowd around the children were showing an exceptional amount of school spirit. The term ‘school spirit’ is, in my opinion, a curious one. The phrase might sound as if it refers to a ghost or other undead phantasm haunting an educational establishment like very old gum clinging to a trophy case. Now what I was told ‘school spirit’ actually referred to is the belief that one particular school is better than another. Though, as Violet Snicket and the four younger orphans were about to learn, there are much worse things that can haunt a school.

“I love the energy! I love it!” Olaf shouted to the crowd. Every student besides the five orphans clapped and cheered for Olaf. Sunny bared her teeth at the man, Violet and the Quagmires glared intensely at Olaf, Klaus just stared at the man with sorrow and worry in his eyes. Why can’t he just leave us alone? Klaus thought as he felt Violet slip her hand into his. When he felt her hand, he looked over at her, realizing that he had begun to shake.

“Okay, everyone, settle down,” Nero said addressing the audience.

Olaf feigned a look of pure shock. “Settle down? Do you hear what Vice Principal Shapiro just said?” he asked the crowd.

“It’s Nero, ” Nero corrected.

“‘Settle down’? How often I hear those words come out of people’s ears and into my mouth,” he took his glance from Klaus and began to glance towards Violet. Violet glared back, she was at a safe distance away from where Olaf didn’t have the upper-hand. “‘Settle’ a word which here means ‘settling...for less’ and ‘down’, my personal least favorite direction,” he said as he reached the edge of the stage and began to walk slowly down the steps from the stage to the aisle that separated the crowd of students in two. “Let me tell you a story,” he said in a voice that sounded more like one of those inspirational life coaches rather than a gym teacher. “Some years ago...a woman came to me. She needed my help. ‘Coach Genghis’, she had said to me. ‘I’m a failure. I have no job. My love life is in the pits. I can’t seem to lose these last twenty pounds,” he turned to the students. “I bet that describes just about everyone one of you, am I right?” he joked.

“Ummm, Genghis, they’re schoolchildren,” Nero pointed out.

“Exactly!” He replied to Nero, turning back to the crowd. Beginning to slowly walk again. “And what did I say to her? Do you think I told her to settle down?...” he paused waiting for a response from the crowd. Sunny couldn’t help but giggle when no one responded to him. “Answer me, pippity-squeaks! Do you think I told her to settle down?!” he yelled glaring at Carmelita, who still stood on the stage.

“Probably not?” Carmelita chanted in a rather confused tone.

“Probably not!” the crowd chanted back.

“Probably not, indeed. I told her to stand up. I told her to actualize and incentivize! I told her to keep her eyes in the clouds and her feet on the stars,” Olaf said reaching the orphans’ row of seats. He turned to face Sunny and Klaus, glaring and smirking down at Klaus, who’s face was slowly turning from one of fear and sadness to rage and madness. “And. do you. Know. what. Hap-pened?” He asked staring directly at Klaus, his shiny meeting the death glare of the very angry twelve-year-old. He enunciated every syllable, slowly giving a Grinch-like smirk at Violet’s two younger siblings. He tilted his head so his gaze was also on Violet. “ She died...in a mysterious fire.” He stood for a few seconds looking at first Violet, then Klaus whose face turned dark as it became full unbridled rage. If looks could kill, Olaf would surely have dropped dead due to this face Klaus was giving to the villain, no question about it. Olaf then glared at Sunny, keeping his eyes on Sunny for a rather long time.

Klaus noticed his gaze on his baby sister, Klaus quickly grabbed Sunny and passed her quickly to Violet, who felt it necessary to pass her to Duncan, who shifted Sunny to sit half on Isadora’s lap that way both Quagmires could protect their young toddler bestie if Olaf tried to hurt her.  Both Isadora and Duncan put an arm around Sunny, Sunny may have leaned into their grasp but she still bared her teeth at the villain when he simply smirked at Klaus’ attempt to keep Sunny safe. Violet slipped an arm around Klaus as Olaf began addressing the crowd of students again.

“Wait...what?” Nero asked, the words that ‘Genghis’ spoke finally registering in his tiny brain.

“Settling down is what losers do,” Olaf explained making his way slowly back on stage.

“But the woman you were talking about…” Nero said curiously.

“Settling down is what started World War I,” Olaf misinformed the students of Prufrock.

“Okay, but the story you were telling,” Nero tried again.

“You see, settling down is what happens when you bite your lip, and your lip gets swollen, so you bite your lip again and then you keep biting your lip over and over. I don’t want that. Do you want that, Prufrock Prep?” he asked.

“No!”  the students cheered.

“Let’s bring in the violin!” Olaf cheered. Nero smiled as he took center stage and began to horrifically play his violin. The crowd began to cheer even though no one was interested in his attempts to destroy classical music. The crowd was surprisingly cheering for Count Olaf and he was eating it up. Taking bows.

Klaus just looked like he wanted to die. He just stared frantically at Olaf. “No…” he whimpered, his breathing becoming rapid.

“Klaus?” Duncan asked looking at his maybe-boyfriend.

“He...he...he found us again ,” Klaus said terrified. “ I told you guys...he’s...he’s right there,” Violet could hear the quiver in Klaus’ voice, she turned to see a few tears glistening his eyes behind his glasses. He quickly wiped them. “We’ll never be safe,” he whispered this sentence, the only one who could hear him was Violet and it took a lot of straining to hear him entirely. “I have to do something,” he said aloud, more so to himself.

Violet looked at him confused. “Klaus?”

“I have to do something,” Klaus repeated, only slightly louder this time. “The school is falling for the treachery of an unhinged lunatic,”

Duncan and Isadora looked towards Klaus. “That always happens during pep rallies,” Isadora commented trying to light up the mood.

“I have to do something,” Klaus said taking a deep breath. He slowly stands up, all four other children could tell he was shaking. “ For them, ” he said slowly beginning to walk into the aisle. His legs were wobbly and with each movement on his feet, he felt like he was going to fall. He turned to his baby sister, “Stay here, Sunny,”

“Luck!” Sunny replied sticking both her thumbs up at her brother, knowing it was not the time to argue with him. She leaned back into the Quagmires’ grip. As Klaus slowly reached the stage, Violet realized the closer he got to Olaf, the harder Klaus would shake.

“E-everyone!” Klaus tried to shout, his voice quivering. He looked desperately at Nero. “T-this...this...th-this...man,”

Carmelita began to mock Klaus relentlessly, which was causing some of the other kids to laugh at Klaus. Olaf just smirked at Klaus, making pretend crying faces to the twelve-year-old. “You…”

“What’s wrong, student? Having a panic attack...induced by some unexplained trauma?” Olaf asks in a low hiss, reaching out to grab Klaus’ shoulder, but Klaus flinches back, throwing his arms in front of his chest.

Violet glared when Olaf began to laugh along with the crowd at Klaus. “ That’s it! ” she hissed as she stood up.

“Where are you going?” Duncan asked.

“To help Klaus,” she replied not even turning around. She kept her gaze on Olaf and her younger brother. “Stay here with Sunny, please,” she called back, hissing under her breath as Klaus backed away from Olaf again.

“We’ll help if we can!” Isadora shouted to Violet, who gave a small smile towards Isadora.

“I know and thank you, Isa,” she said blushing a bit. She turned back to the stage. I got this, Lemon Man, I got this. You didn’t risk your life for nothing, I will finish the job. Snickets take care of their own. She thought to herself as she rushed on the stage. She took a deep breath and practically yelled, “ Everyone! Please! Listen! This man is an imposter! ”

“How dare you interrupt a genius!” Nero barked at Violet angrily.

“And his guest violinist,” Olaf remarked.

Everyone on stage turned to look at the feral Snicket girl who was breathing heavy with unbridled fury. Even Klaus, who looked a conflicted mixture of relief and fear, watched Violet in silence as she took a place on the stage near Klaus.

Olaf turned to her with very shiny eyes and back at Klaus smirking at the poor boy, which sent chills down the boy’s spine.

“This man is not a genius…” Violet barked through gritted teeth.

“Vi...what are you doing?” Klaus whispered to his older half-sister, doing his best to keep eye contact with Olaf rather than Violet to pretend like he doesn’t even know who Violet is.

“Helping you,” Violet replied back. “Snickets take care of their own,” she said patting him on the back. He looked at her with a face of worry.

“You don’t have to…you can free yourself from this tragic tale…” he warned her. She shook her head.

“We fight together,” she replied.

He opened his mouth to reply, trying his best to find the words that could make Violet understand just how dangerous Count Olaf truly was. But she turned to him again. “ This man is a fucking imposter!” she yelled again taking a defensive stance between the vile man and her younger brother.

“I think you mean...improviser, dear,” Olaf replied.

“This so-called gym teacher is the notorious villain, Count Olaf!”

Violet and Klaus could hear a gasp in the crowd, it seemed to be coming from the librarian, Miss Caliban.

“A-as long as he’s at Pru-ru-fr-frock Prep...n-n-nobody is safe,” Klaus warns.

“That’s not true,” Carmelita cried. “You’re just jealous. Vice Princie throw them off the stage, and I’ll start my dance over with extra twirls,”

“Well said, adorable little cheerleader,” Olaf commented smiling at Carmelita.

“This man is Count Olaf and we can prove it!”

She turned to Olaf remembering the characteristics of the vile man that Klaus and Sunny had described. She glanced at his disguise, her eyes fixating at the top of his head. She gave the man a smirk. “ If Count Olaf were to remove his turban…!” she yelled, as she reached her arm up towards the creep’s turban. But with cat-like reflexes ‘Genghis’ grabbed Violet’s arm keeping her from ruining his disguise.

“Isn’t she just lovely? Everybody?” he asked the crowd as Violet struggled to reach his turban. He kept a good grip on her wrist causing her to grunt. Klaus watched in a silent panic hoping that Olaf wasn’t harming Violet. “But I am afraid my two bushy eyebrows are going to stay under my turban, which I wear for religious purposes,” he explained.

Klaus rolled his eyes. “A-and what religion would that be?” Klaus asked incredulously.

Olaf glared at Klaus with his shiny eyes, causing Klaus to shake from behind Violet. Violet glared again as Olaf held her arm above her head. He looked at his smartest henchperson.

“Reconstructionist Judaism,” the henchperson of Indeterminate Gender replied as the Hook Handed Man nodded.

“Re-recon-reconstruct…ism... ” Olaf mumbles. He rolls his eyes. “ What they said,”

“I would never ask you to remove your turban, Coach Genghis,” Nero explained sympathetically to Genghis. “I’m against religious persecution, but I can’t speak for the orphans, ”

Both Violet and Klaus rolled their eyes. Seeing that no one was believing them but instead believing Olaf. Olaf ignored the two children’s glare and released Violet’s arm but not before a harsh squeeze and a shove.

“O-Olaf can also be i-identif-fied by the tattoo of an eye on h-his a-ankle,” Klaus studdered.

“My body is a temple, young man!” Olaf snarled at Klaus, who stayed behind Violet.  “I would never sully my skin the way so many young people do nowadays with their hedonistic lifestyle of loud music and abstinence,”

Klaus gave a look of confusion towards Olaf as Violet looked down at Olaf’s shoes, remembering the tattoo that has been haunting her the last couple of days.

“W-why don’t you t-t-take off your sh-shoes and prove it!?” Klaus suggested from behind Violet.

“ If Count Olaf were to remove his running shoes…!” She yelled glaring at the man.  

Olaf interrupted her. “I will absolutely not be removing my running shoes,”

“Oh! L-le-let me guess, is that due to ‘religious purposes’?” Klaus asked him mockingly.

“No. It’s just taking off my shoes, you’ll see that my socks are sweaty...which means they’re smelly..which is gross,” Olaf explained.

“We can…” Violet said her voice trailing off. “We can compare Genghis to the photograph of Olaf in the Daily Punctilio!” she suggested desperately. “Please, this is serious!”

“C-count O-Olaf is wanted by the authorities...for sus-suspicion of fraud, th-theft, mur...murder, kidna-napping,” Klaus studdered slowly. He closed his eyes, “Ch-ch-ch-child abuse, and chi-child en-endangerment,”

“You sound like a boring librarian,” Nero mocked. Miss Caliban huffed in response. “Plus we don’t need newspapers now that we have our advanced computer system.”

Violet, Klaus, and Olaf watched as a few AV club members pushed the advanced computer to the stage. Olaf’s eyes widened and Klaus and Violet looked at one another and smiled.

“Oh. Uh, you mean that computer?” Olaf asked nervously, pointing a bony finger at the advanced computer.

“He’s sweating!” Klaus said happily. “He’s nervous!”

Olaf gave a quick glare Klaus’ way. Klaus was right when he said Olaf was sweating and nervous. The vile bastard carefully wiped his forehead making sure he didn’t accidentally knock off his turban. He began to use his hand to fan himself. He began to stutter. “N-no, I’m not… I have naturally leaky pores,”

Nero sighed. “Will you and your pores please stand in front of this very expensive electronic device and just clear this matter up, once and for all?” Nero asked.

“I...I…” he backed away from Nero. He realized that Violet and Klaus were both smirking at him as if they were winning. “I...uh...mmmm...this reminds me of a story,”

Violet and Klaus looked to one another, both siblings sharing a slight nod as they both walked over to the advanced computer system. They both grabbed its side and rolled it towards Olaf, who had backed himself against the wall. Olaf began to shudder nervously as the computer stopped in the perfect spot to get a clear view of his face. He closed his eyes nervously, waiting for his disguise to be fucked. He was trying to decide how to escape.

The computer made a whirring noise and finally, it beeped. Olaf held his breath at the same moment that Klaus had. But unfortunately for Violet and Klaus, the computer’s robotic, monotone voice declared to the crowd, “this is not Count Olaf”. When Klaus heard this, his heart shattered in his chest as he fell to his knees. Violet looked at Klaus and then looked to Olaf, who gave the computer the same confused face that Violet had given it when it claimed Coach Genghis was not Count Olaf. Olaf opened his eyes slowly, his fearful expression disappearing behind a gleeful one.

“See?” he said confidently as he pushed the computer away from him. He glared down at Violet and Klaus, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Yeah, see?” Nero mimicked. Violet just glares at the villainous man as they both realize the same thing at the same time. Klaus was now paralyzed. Both could tell he was trying to not have a breakdown in front of the whole school. Olaf looked at the boy wondering just how far he can push Klaus, while Violet looked down at him with a sorrowful and pitied expression.

Olaf takes this chance to take a step closer to Klaus, who flinched back away from Olaf with a soft whimper. “Please…” he begged in a meek voice, not looking up.

Violet stepped in front of Klaus to shield him. “I think this calls for a little democracy, my second favorite style of government. How many of you want to continue hearing tiresome accusations hurdled at an innocent man by pathetic little orphans?”

Duncan picked Sunny up as he stood tall. “ Investigate further!” He yelled.

Isadora stood alongside her brother and best friend. “ We demand this issue receive further scrutiny!” she yelled.

Surprising to all, the librarian, Ms. Olivia Caliban stood up as well. “Klaus Baudelaire and Violet Snicket seem like honest and decent people. I think we should listen to what they have to say!” she called out.

Violet gave the librarian a quick smile. Even Duncan, Isadora, and Sunny smiled at her. Other than her, no one else in the crowd was willing to help the children out.

“Now...who would love to hear about a new exercise program?” Genghis asked. Genghis smiled when he heard Klaus groan at the word ‘exercise’ but other than that, Klaus stayed there on the ground breathing heavily. Although he was relieved that Violet was still with him. “This new, exciting program is sure to blast your school spirit right out your blowhole!”

Everyone in the crowd cheered.  Nero began to play the violin. “Students! Faculty! Don’t worry if every exercise program you have tried has failed you because I am here to fail you more by putting the ‘whip’ back into ‘whip you into shape’! Everyone, get on your feet, and let's try something that I invented one lonely night at a truck stop, called jumping jacks.” He waited for the crowd to stand, the only three people in the crowd who refused to stand were the two Quagmire triplets and the youngest Baudelaire orphan. “Here we go! Ready? One! Two!” He shouted as he did only two jumping jacks before yelping in pain. “Okay...all right. All right. Let’s cool it down...we don’t want to ham up the old hamstrings.” He groans. “Oh, God, can someone say, ‘class dismissed...for ice water and some deep breaths?” he asked as he grabbed onto one of his henchpeople for support.

“Um…”

“I know...I’ll be okay...I just need a second,” he explained groaning.

“But the…” The henchperson said glancing at Violet and Klaus. Violet stood there waiting for Olaf to explain whatever bullshit he was talking about.

“What? What? Oh...oh yeah...the orphans,” he muttered. “One last thing, everybody. As anyone who has been to junior college knows, orphans tend to have unsound bodies, which as you can see,” Olaf commented pointing at Klaus. “Leads to paranoia...delusion...and of course, untapped wealth.” He smirked at Violet, then turning to the crowd. “That’s why I have developed the Special Orphans Running Exercises or S.O.R.E, for short, which I will be offering to a few select students.”

He stepped forward to address the crowd, glaring at Sunny who sat between the two Quagmires. “Will the orphans in the house please stand?”

After exchanging a look of dread, Isadora and Duncan stood up, this time Isadora held Sunny who simply glared towards Count Olaf with her teeth bared. To all five children's surprise, even Miss Caliban stood up again giving them a small smile.

Olaf gave Sunny a slight wave as she growled at him. Olaf smirked as he began to walk in a small circle around Violet and Klaus as if they were stranded without a boat amid shark-infested waters. This caused Klaus to close his eyes and reach his arms out for Violet pulling her closer to him as she countered all of Olaf's movements dragging a shell shocked Klaus in a circle making sure that he was never exposed to Olaf.

"Hmmm," Olaf snarled bending down a tad bit to make sure Klaus knew that Olaf was referring to him. " I choose you," he said menacingly as he touched the young boy's shoulder. Violet yanked Klaus away from Olaf's cold grasp.

"No…" Klaus whimpered in a rather saddened tone. His tone reeked of desperation and fear, which caused Violet's heart to break for her younger brother and her blood to boil as she did her best to shield her brother from the wicked man. Klaus continued to shake, refusing to look up at his nemesis.

Olaf turned to face the crowd, his glare sent chills down Sunny and the Quagmires' backs. "I choose...the little baby secretary I have heard so much about," he said.

Sunny, still in Isadora's arm, flipped him off. "Toddler!" she yelled angrily although her friends could tell she was scared. Not as scared as her brother but she was definitely scared of what Olaf had planned.

Violet's glare towards the villain intensified as her blood began to boil hotter. This man was definitely Count Olaf, she had no doubt about it. She could hear Klaus cry another desperate "No…" as he shook harder. "She's just a toddler...leave her out of it…" she could hear him whisper.

" And…" Olaf snarled, once again slowly walking the stage. Giving Duncan and Isadora one last look over before slowly turning to Violet.

Klaus, who had his head hidden so he didn't have to see Olaf, felt his heart stop beating. And?... Klaus panicked. There shouldn’t be an ‘and’! Just me and Sunny! His eyes became wide. His absolute worst nightmare was happening. Olaf was now targeting either Violet, his half-sister, or the Quagmires, his new friends. Klaus began to tremble harder in fear blaming himself for ever letting the three get close to him and Sunny. Then a question popped into his mind, causing his breathing to become rigid. Did Olaf also know that Violet was related to the Baudelaires?

Olaf stopped circling the two orphans just as Klaus raised his face to meet the shiny eyes of his arch-nemesis staring at his older sister in a way that Klaus couldn't describe. he just knew the face had vile intentions behind it. He silently glances up at Violet, who stood there stone cold, glaring back at Olaf acting as a human shield for her brother.

" And...Miss Snicket," Olaf snarled. His tone of voice sending massive chills down Klaus' spine. If Violet was afraid, she was good at hiding it because Klaus looked up at her in disbelief. she stood tall, not allowing Olaf or Klaus to sense any fear behind the cold demeanor even though there were fear and uncertainty plaguing at her mind.

Olaf paused for a moment to truly look at Violet. She continued to stand her ground, staring back at him with a face of indifference. The man's stare was getting extremely uncomfortable, just as Violet was going to slightly turn her head allowing her eyes to avert from the villain’s shiny ones, She felt Klaus’ head shift. Dammit! She thought keeping her stare at Olaf. She knew Klaus was now looking at her, she couldn’t be weak now. For Klaus. She told herself as she tried to drain all of her emotions from her face, holding in her fear. For Sunny. Remember, Violet, Snickets take care of their own. They’re counting on you! Everything falls on you now. They’re safety, comfort, and happiness. Keep strong for them! She quietly sighed, hoping Klaus and Olaf didn’t notice. She had to be strong, she couldn’t let Klaus know that she was intimidated. Big sisters are supposed to chase away the monsters, not also be afraid of them. As she stared back as Olaf, with a hand gently placed on Klaus’ head, Violet realized that if she replaced her fear with anger, it was easier to hold her composure.

Olaf waited until both orphans were looking at him. Violet with her cold, emotionless demeanor and Klaus with his desperation and fear. “ Thank you….for being so eager to... volunteer ,” he hissed looking directly into Violet’s eyes, his eyes so shiny that they could blind her. The second he called her a volunteer, her face became dark. He must’ve realized that she wasn’t going to let him get away with killing her father and hurting her siblings.

Violet refused to show him fear, she couldn’t do that because she had to convince Klaus that with her around he is safe and her pride refused to allow it. So she stared right back with a face that could kill. Olaf merely smirking at her. While Klaus adverted his gaze as his face drained of all color and then flushed red with anger. “No…!” He said again but Violet noticed that it wasn’t the same desperate ‘no’ that he had whispered when Olaf mentioned Sunny. This one was stronger, angrier, even. Before Violet could process what was happening, Klaus had shot up to his feet, grabbing Violet and harshly whipping her behind him. He kept a grip on her hand, though and she could tell that he was still shaking.

“ No!” He yelled glaring at the disguised coach. “ Do NOT fucking involve Violet in this shit!”

“Oh, my,” Olaf feigned confusion like it was his first language. “What are you talking about?”

Klaus can feel the tears streaming down his face. “Leave... you better leave her alone!”

Olaf continued to look at Klaus as if he had no idea what the young orphan boy was talking about.

“Klaus…” Violet asked concerned.

“T-th-this batter is between you and me! ”

“Whatever are you talking about?” Coach Genghis asked.

Klaus’ shaking began to be more than he could handle because soon everyone at the pep rally could clearly see his panic attack. Olaf took this opportunity to put a hand on Klaus’ shoulder which put the young boy into a frenzy. Shaking faster and more visibly, crying harder, as he flinched away quickly causing himself to fall backwards on his ass.

“Leave him alone!” Violet yelled at the vile bastard.

Olaf looked down at Klaus, “There’s no need to cry like an infant. Be a man, orphan!” Olaf says cruelly poking Klaus in the chest just as Carmelita began chanting “Crybaby cake-sniffers in the Orphan Shack!” and all at once nearly everyone in the crowd was making fun of Klaus and chanting along to Carmelita. The only faculty member who even gave a shit was the kind librarian, who stood up, and started shushing children and yelling at Carmelita.

Violet glared at Olaf. “You three orphans are to report to the athletics field at sundown and every night until further notice,” he announced as the crowd began to disperse.

Nero laughed. “This, of course, does not excuse you from missing my nightly violin recitals. Oooh, you are going to owe me a lot of candy!”

“Now that’s the sort of leadership I was talking about,” Genghis mentioned. “You are a genius,” Violet rolled her eyes as she listened to the two pieces of shit stroke each other’s egos.

“You’re the genius for nothing,” Nero replied.

“YOu’re the genius for saying so,” Genghis admitted.

“You’re a genius for agreeing,”

“All right, I’m the genius,” Genghis bragged smirking at Violet.

“Drat!” Nero yelled.

The vice-principal began to walk away.

Duncan, Isadora, and Sunny walked over to the stage just as Genghis took a step closer to Klaus. Violet stepped in between the two, glaring daggers. “Whatever you’re up to, Count Olaf , we will put a stop to it!” she hissed.

“ Really?” He asked, feigning confusion. “Because it seems to me, if you Snickets had the skills to stop me, you wouldn’t be having this batch of episodes in your new lives,” he hissed back.

Klaus curled up into a little ball, trying to hide behind Violet’s thin legs. Violet looked down at him and then at Olaf and her heart broke. What did this fucker do to her little brother? She hated not knowing important things.

Olaf smirked as the Quagmires joined them on the stage carrying Sunny.

“Fucker!” Sunny hissed.

“Oh, little Sunny when will you and your cry baby, wimpy brother learn? You can’t survive me! ” he laughed, “your parents really taught you nothing at all.”

This angered Violet, she took Sunny from Isadora’s arms and the two orphaned half-sisters glared at Olaf as they guarded their brother against the cruel fiend.

“ Our parents taught us to survive!” Violet yelled as Sunny nodded waving a tiny fist at Olaf.

Olaf laughed a cruel, sadistic laugh. “Well, I guess...sweet little Miss Snicket... those who can’t do, teach, ” he replied bitterly.

Violet’s face rushed with anger to sadness. She tried to push the anger back to the surface but she soon realized that pushing sadness was harder than pushing down fear. Olaf could see that he had effected her because her eyes lit for about three seconds, a small flare of fire and it flared out almost immediately, quickly turning into a broken ocean blue. She couldn’t hide it, and he could definitely see it.

And with that he gave Violet, Sunny, Isadora, and Duncan an evil grin and then put a hand on Klaus’ shoulder, causing Klaus to jump and scream in shock. “ I told you,... no matter where you go...no matter what you do...I will find you,” he smiled a vicious smile when Klaus looked up. “ At least one of us can actually keep our promise! ” He then began laughing as he pats Klaus on the head, still laughing. “See you three at sundown,”

This time if looks could kill, Sunny Baudelaire would be the orphan killing Olaf with her look of pure, concentrated hate. “ Bitch! ” she shrieked at him as Olaf simply flipped the toddler off.

Sunny and Violet knelt down to Klaus. Sunny rushed to her brother to hug him. Olaf walked away cackling like a madman.

“Prom,” she said to her brother, holding him close. This was her way of saying, “Ignore him, Klaus. You’ve kept good on your promise,”

Klaus shook his head in response. “No, no I haven’t. He’s right, Sunny.”

Sunny shook her head furiously and playfully slapped her brother in the face.

“No!” she said simply. “Bueno,” she told him sternly, which meant, “you’ve done, good.”

Violet looked at Klaus. “Sunny’s right, Klaus. Comparatively, you’re the more fucked up. You’ve obviously sacrificed yourself for her,”

Duncan placed a gentle hand on Klaus’ shoulder which made the bookworm flinch but he looked up seeing Duncan and gave the journalist a small smile.

He turned to Violet. “Sunny and I are never going to be safe,”

She shook her head. “Oh yes, yes you are. Cause you see, Olaf made one very fatal idiotic mistake...he got me involved,”

“Us, too,” Duncan said.

“Don’t worry Baudelaires, don’t feel disgrace. The Quagmires triplets are on the case,” Isadora recited smiling.

Klaus continued to shack his head. “No…” he pleaded with them.

Violet smiled at Isadora. “Sweet poem. I love it.”

“Th-thank you,”  the poet responded blushing.

“You guys...I’m sorry,” Klaus cried.

“For what?”

“For letting you get attached to me and Sunny,” Klaus explained. “Now he’s targetting you too,”

“Klaus...that’s not your fault,” Duncan reassured

“You’re kinds and generous, all three of you are, but we can’t let you get involved,” Klaus said pointedly staring at his older half-sister, who simply glared at him.

Sunny was slowly nodding her head in agreement with her brother.

“Olaf is too dangerous,” Klaus explained.

“He’s too dangerous for you to face alone,” Duncan pointed out. Isadora and Violet nodding in agreement.

“We can run away,” Isadora suggested.

“All of us,” Duncan added as the triplets looked to Violet to agree with them.

“...it’s plausible,” she admitted.

“Our parents' inheritance will be ours once we come of age,” Isadora explained.

“We’re not of age yet.” Klaus countered. “Besides, it wouldn’t matter if we ran away...Count Olaf will still find us...he found us...he always does,” He sighed. “Everywhere we go, he shows up to steal our stupid fortune.”

“How can he get your fortune as a gym teacher?” Violet asked confused.

“Well...there’s treachery lurking in most exercise programs,” Klaus replied laughing at his own joke. “I just...I just can’t believe he fooled everyone again.”

“Not everyone,” Duncan said pointing at himself and his sister.

“Come on, you guys, let’s go back to the Orphan Shack and figure shit out,” Violet suggested holding her hand out for Klaus’. Isadora picked up Sunny as Duncan took Klaus’ free hand. Isadora slipping her free hand into Violets. The five children walked from the athletic field to the Orphan Shack, all trying to think of a way to put a stop to Olaf once and for all.

[cmncisspnandmore]

Boy Wonder and Family, Part 2, Spencer Reid X Reader

A/n: i’m really sorry if this part sucks, i’ve been dealing with a lot of crap lately, but i hope this is okay. I hope to write more this weekend. Also i started a tag list, if you want to be added to it send me a message and i will gladly add you!

~~~~~~~

“Y/N, we’re here. You have to wake up now.” Spencer whispers against your hair, and you blink a few times as your eyes adjust to the sun that is blinding you through the SUV window. You sit up and push the hair back from your face and Spencer leans back over the seat and gently shakes your children awake.

“C’mon you two, we need to go inside, we can't make my team wait forever. I’m sure they have a million questions about you two and your mother. Let’s go.” He gives your kids a small smile as they stretch and nod sleepily.

You climb out of the car and make your way into your house where the people who helped you find your kids sit. They are all gathered in your living room, all sitting on various pieces of your furniture, it was unnerving to go into the living room but you put on your best brave face and went to sit on the unoccupied loveseat. A few seconds after you sit down Spencer walks in and takes a seat next to your. Lucas and Atlas stand huddled together by the living room doorway, glancing around the room before their honey brown eyes land on yours.

“Come here, you two have a lot of talking to do.” You point your finger at them and then to the spot on the floor in front of you and Spence. Atlas is the first to walk over, her brother hot on her heels. She sits down in front of Spencer resting her head against his knees, and his hand goes to her hair, he absentmindedly runs his fingers around one of her curls. Something he has done since she was a toddler, and her hair was finally long enough for the ringlets to form. Lucas takes a seat in front of you, his back against your shins, he gives you a small smile.

“Now can one of you please explain to me why you blatantly defied your mother, and snuck out of the house.”  Spencer looks down at your children. The other agents in the room are leaning forward, listening to what the teens have to say.

“Mom. Dad. Hear me out.” Atlas begins, “I told Tara i would go to this party like a month ago, and she was so so so desperate for me to go, it was going to be the biggest party of the year. And it would land me in the running for prom queen if i made an appearance. You know how much i want that. Mom you were prom queen you understand.” She looks over at you, and you glare back.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You snuck out of the house so you could be Prom Queen?” You seethe, and Spencer reaches over and places a hand on yours.

“Mom, you were being totally unfair!” Atlas sneers, glaring her brown eyes at you.

“EXCUSE ME, unfair? How am i unfair? I buy you everything you could ever want, i let you go to every single school event and sign up for whatever you want. I let you do way more than what i ever got to do as a teenager. How dare you call me unfair. I gave up everything to make sure you had everything. I told you i didn't want you to go to that party because your father was out of town and it is the one time i ever told you no.” You cry, and you can see Lucas flinch out of the corner of your eye.

“I never get to go to parties!” Atlas huffs out.

“BECAUSE SOMETHING LIKE THIS COULD HAPPEN.” You yell, throwing your hands up in the air. And with that she stops and glares at the floor.

“Lissy, you could've gotten really hurt, or something really bad could've happened to you and if that ever happened… I don't think i would ever forgive myself.” Your husband finally speaks, and Atlas nods.

“Now” Rossi cuts in, “Could you describe the man to me? The one who said they knew you?” He looks between the twins.

“Yeah, he was tall, around 6’2, he had black greasy hair, the kind that hasn't been washed in months. He had a scar on his left cheek, he was very muscular, a lot like Agent Morgan. He had light skin and he had green eyes. I-if i saw a picture i could tell you who he was…” Lucas tells Rossi, and Reid stiffens next to you. Obviously in his genius mind he has already gone through the list of people who he's locked up, and has figured out a rough list of people who fit that description.

“Spence… “ JJ looks at him, clearly having seen how quickly his demeanor changed.

“Lucas,” Your husband stands and walks over to his briefcase and pulls out a few files, “Are any of these people it?” He hands the manilla folders to your son and he quickly flips through them, taking only seconds before stopping and pointing to one of the photos.

“Isn't that the unsub the vic picked out in the case we just wrapped up?” Hotch leans forward getting a better view.

“Yeah, his name is Harold Knight. He lost his wife in a car accident, and since then he's been having psychotic episodes. The judge ruled him insane and instead of jail he was sent to a facility where he was to be treated and kept under surveillance because there wasn't any way he would be able to stay in a prison. His psychosis was far too much for a prison system to handle.” Spencer rattles off.

“Why would he go after your kids? How would he know you had kids? We didn't even know you had them, or that you were married.” Morgan crosses his arms across his chest.

“When i was walking him to the squad car on the case after we caught him, my phone went off and it fell from my pocket. It was Y/N… He must've seen the picture of her and the twins when it rang and fell on the ground.” Spencer runs his hands through his hair, tugging on the curls.

“We know who he is, we’ll catch him Spence.” JJ stands up and places her hand on his arm, offering him a small smile.

“I want two of you here at all times, i’ll get in touch with the local police and put an APB for him. I”ll relay the info to Garcia and see what she can dig up on the facility he ended up at and why no one had reported that he was no longer there. Morgan, Rossi take the first shift, JJ i need you with me to talk to the press. We’re gonna find this guy. Right now, you and your family need to get some rest.” Hotch starts to head to the door, and JJ follows as Morgan and Rossi stay behind in their chairs.

“But Hotch i should help…” Spencer turns towards his boss.

Your chest is heaving and you feel like you're going to pass out, you had zoned out when Spencer had told the team that it was you who called while he was putting the guy in the squad car. It was your fault. If you hadn't called this guy would still be in the dark, but you had called. And you remembered the exact moment you called, you had gotten mad that he hadn't picked up you wanted to tell him about everything you had to handle that week that he was gone. But that didn't matter now, because all you could hear was the blood rushing in your ears, your body felt far away and you were sure you looked silly with tears streaming down your cheeks. In a matter of seconds you had unintentionally caused your family to be at risk because some crazy man was out to get your children because you couldn't wait 12 hours to talk to Spencer.

“You need to be here for your family... “ Hotch gestured behind Spencer, and Spencer turned around and realized your frantic state. Your kids had gone off to their rooms after Hotch had started talking about the police.

With a nod Spencer walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your shaking form. With a hand on the back of your head he pressed your face into his chest. “I’m going to take her to go lay down, can you two make sure the kids are okay?” He looked between Morgan and Rossi who nodded and stood from their chairs.

“Hey, Y/N, look at me.” He lifted your chin so you were looking at him.

“I-i-it's my fault.” You sob out, and Spencer shakes his head.

“No its not. This isn't your fault-”

“Yes it is, i called you because i was having a bad week and wanted to vent and i called you when you were on a case. I know we shouldn't call you and that we should always wait for you to call us because you could be doing something important and your phone going off could get you killed and now someone is after our kids.” you ramble on and don't realize as Spencer reaches down and scoops his arm under your knees and starts to walk to your bedroom.

“Stop. This isn't your fault. He's not right in the head. You need to calm down. I'm here now, the kids are safe. And all we can do now is wait for the team, and the police to find something on him. Please stop blaming yourself.” Spencer whispers and lays you down on the bed and crawls in next to you. You nod but can't calm the tears and heaving sobs, Spencer gathers you in his arms and you both lay on your bed, doing the one thing you can do. Wait.

~~~~~

Taglist: @morcialovechild

[i-rove-rock-n-roll]

I just found my writing from elementary school. (Ages 6-10 mostly, though some of this came later)

Such hits as

Raindeer Trouble (corrected by the teacher as Reindeer Trouble) a one page story where Santa’s reindeer are sick, then have a miraculous recovery, all taking place a week before Christmas. I wrote it in either first or second grade, if memory serves me correctly (which I doubt it is)

Monkey Madness-written maybe a year later? Basically there’s this witch that hates the superhero Underdog’s guts (I had just seen the live action movie and loved it) and her plan was to make a super powered monkey to hypnotize to do her bidding. Her end goal was to become world leader and have everyone dress up as scary monsters for Halloween, rather than superheroes and “something else good and sweet”. Whatever that means. Then she started kidnapping people with the monkey’s help and turning them into real monsters. Eventually the monkey starts asking questions, like, “can you carve carnivorous cotton candy into kittys (kitties)?” (Idk wtf that even has to do with the rest of the plot but he gets sulky cause she doesn’t make him a cat at one point) There’s more gems in this one, plus a really wacky fight scene. This one was most definitely second grade, since a few words are in cursive, which I had just started learning. I also remember drawing a “cover” to this one, but idk where it is now.

The next one is Super Horse Heros (Heroes). I basically wrote down the stories my gram used to tell my sister and I when we demanded bedtime stories. An old horse wants a new life, and has to do 3 good deeds before his fairy god horse will turn him into a ‘“unisus” (unicorn/Pegasus combo). After that, the unisus saves a bunch of horses who were kidnapped and shipped to a glue factory. Then they became the Super Horse Heroes, saving children lost in cornfields (aka my sister and I) and flying off into the sunset.

I also found 2 essays in this folder-one about The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, and the other a 12 page paper on the possibility of life elsewhere in the universe which I used to apply to college.

Also a drawing of the Moirae and a spinning wheel that isn’t half bad.

Back to the writing!

Let’s see...a type written version (I used to have a typewriter before SOMEONE broke it one time when I moved) of Reindeer Trouble.

Oh! Here’s a gem! It’s titled: A Bad Toddler Finds a treasure at a popular amusement park. He finds literal treasure, fame, fortune, and an old boot.

The Adventures of Pretzel Man! With a little drawing in the corner. (I used to have a Nabisco pretzel looking doll, that was the inspo) He sells pretzels by day apparently and also fights crime. His enemy in this story is creatively called Taffy Laffy, who turns people into Taffy Zombies, and—

This story is unfinished. WHAT? I was actually wanting to know the end!

Ugh. Anyway, let’s continue

This next one is called Turkey Terror: a turkey’s life from my point of view. Basically this kid gets turned into a turkey (but they still have their own head??) it’s also 2 days before thanksgiving. The turkey kid’s name is apparently Sheldon, who makes friends with a chipmunk named Chippy...who is a total backstabbing liar leading Sheldon to an ambush in a cave, where he gets a bullet to the head, only to wake up and find it was all a dream...

WTF PAST ME?? WHAT—

More drawings in here, terribly proportioned gangster from the 20s...some drawings I did of phantom of the opera (I, uh, copied some drawings I liked by other artists at the time with the sole intention of just sticking them on my wall because i apparently forgot what a printer was)

Drawings of flowers...drawing of my dog’s eyeball for whatever reason...

Heaven or Hell: Gateway to Another World (keep in mind I was going based off of cartoons but I think my complete lack of understanding of religion is why I would up majoring in it)

More writing, some based on the imagery I got from songs I was listening to... one page thing I apparently wrote about the death of Jesus (???) once I had seen and been awestruck by Michaelangelo’s Pieta (on screen unfortunately, I’ve never seen it in person)

A paper with only one line on it saying “Mrs. Jenelle Hartson née Deveroux was always the first to tell anyone she was a crazy old bat”

Okay.

Oh no! Well, not no, but well—

Basically scrap paper bits of To Kill A Mockingbird from Boo Radleys POV. The whole thing would up being like 15 pages and was turned in for a school assignment. I think I scared the teacher with how long it was since he only asked for 2-3 pages. I have the whole thing on here somewhere in all it’s terrible glory if any of you want....

Bingo! Found a bunch from a wip I really liked like, 6-7 years ago! (So early high school) Scientist named Phineas Lancaster develops a way to jump between universes, is being pursued by the government, and winds up running into himself, but a deadbeat version who dropped out of college after a horrible accident. Let’s see what gems are in here....

“Phineas Lancaster, resident bum and professional alcoholic of the sprawling town Rock Falls, woke up feeling as if he had been slammed into by a bus. He hadn’t, but for a minute he’d thought he’d wandered into the middle of 32nd Avenue during Rush hour. Again.”

(Phineas, realizing he was kidnapped by a dude he doesn’t realize is himself from another universe) “His captor smiled at him in what he must have thought was [a] friendly way. Phineas was now more irritated than before when he noticed the flashing white of his captor’s teeth. ‘no way those are real’. He scowled at the man. ‘He looks like he popped out of a freaking toothpaste commercial’ he’d been abducted by a real like infomercial buffoon. Lovely.”

“I love your place.” He hated it. “Very homey.”

“He’s even got a nerdy voice, Janine. I can’t have a nerd for a twin.”

“Say hello to the guy that decided to kidnap me. He had some sort of weird spaz attack and, being the kind and loving soul I am, couldn’t just leave him in the middle of the desert to die. Ergo, he’s here.”

“I got us a lift from a very nice gentleman who is currently searching for Glenn Miller. He gave me his card in case I either found Glenn or if I need another lift, since he’s going to be in town for a few days.”

“I bet you’re a dentist. Dentists are evil.”

(When drunk Phineas not smart phineas is abducted by agents)

“All I wanted to do was stop by the Dollar Store for some Gummy Bears. I just had to get kidnapped again. Yay me, I could set a record.”

“Aaaand cut! Try it again, maybe with some more threatening looks this time, you might make me wet myself if you try hard enough.”

“Gee, i don’t know, I think I was too busy running for my life to ask, ‘I’m sorry, do you want to exchange numbers so we can do this again sometime? Maybe meet for tea?’”

“How ever did you make such a realistic looking doohickey?”

(One Phineas to the other)

“I totally got mom’s humor. You got dad’s shitty ability to make a person die of boredom.”

Road tripping to Golden Earring (and trying not to murder Phineas when he starts singing)

...guess I got a lot of stuff to play with now! Happy early birthday to me!

[yakumtsaki]

I only call you when it's half past five, the only time that I'll be by your side, I only love it when you touch me, not feel me, when I'm fucked up, that's the real me, when I'm fucked up, that's the real me, BABE ♪

Here we fucking go again, desperately trying to make the fuckboi wolf commit to a serious relationship. My plan to turn Komei into a werewolf crashed and burned last generation and Jojo has had the want locked for like 10 years and it just won’t fucking happen. I’ve never had a non-cheaty werewolf in this game, I don’t know how other people do it but I’m having a ridic hard time with it. Victor’s ghost is judging me and who can blame him.

Speaking of, Shajar’s makeover is this wolf shirt, and yes, full shade intended. I still can’t believe she rolled popularity, way to single out your weakest spot and make it your life’s purpose. I mean that would be like Wyatt rolling fam-  ..nevermind.

UGH. Will you pick a fucking attitude and stick with it you furry asshole??? 

What kind of defective cuck wolf even is this. He won’t befriend us but he won’t attack either, he just sits around with his plastic bone playing house. USELESS. I didn’t know it was possible to hate a digital animal this much..

..but here comes Maxx to defy all expectations. Happy birthday Maxx, you look so wholesome and Lassie-like, I’m sure life with you will be like a vacation!

LOL. Is antagonizing Sophie really how you want to start your adult life, Maxx?? Well I guess having eyes is overrated.

SOPHIE WTF. You beat Victor but can’t take on this flop? Where is your holy warrior spirit??

- I’m old af and starting to worry about my eternal soul, so I’m literally turning the other cheek.

Nice, thanks for nothing. God I miss Victor.

Man, Maxx has ISSUES. He doesn’t even have a mean personality or a bad relationship with the cats, why are you like this you freak??

NOOOO not the fucking pet fight club again omg MAXX YOU DICK

Great, amazing job, Goro! The real Goro is rolling in his grave. All this went down in literally under a minute after Maxx grew up, talk about determination. 

-HA, kneel before Zod!

That’s not even from Mortal Kombat, Maxx, god, can you not make this worse than it is?

-Yea like I give a shit, what am I, some kind of fatass nerd cat?? I’m a dog, bitch, I like running..

Omg.

-And playing outside..

OMG.

-And being affectionate to my owners!

STOP. Christ, what kind of monster have I brought into our lives???

-One day in and I’m already the alpha.. Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? Oh yes, Maxx is.. The best boy. And soon this cat legacy.. will be history.. the Age of Dog.. is finally.. upon us. 

💔💔💔💔💔

Not that we needed further proof that Maxx was given to us straight out of Satan’s unholy womb, but guess who else loves him on top of Cyneswith?? Why, Wyatt, of course, chief of police married to a serial killer, truly the best judge of character the world has ever known. Show me your friends..

..and I’ll show you who you are. UGH DAGMAR

-As a mailwoman I’m programmed to hate your kind, but I feel such a connection between us.. It’s like the universe conspired-

GTFO. Don’t test me, istg I’ll marry you in..

..you actually don’t look half bad compared to what else is out there. Shajar brings Toadface McBooberson here home from school which. why does bigger cleavage clothing even exist for teens and why do I have it, I really need to stop downloading default replacements in the dark. Anyway, hope you’re all ready for the adventure called ‘What is Shajar’s sexual orientation/does she even have one’!

Ugh, this certainly feels familiar. Shajar please, PLEASE fight your Jojo genes, I mean everyone loves Cyneswith, this is shaping up to be Gunter/Jojo volume 2 AND I CAN’T DEAL WITH IT AGAIN

-So, Butterface, my ambition in life is to have my own music theme play whenever I enter a room, like Darth Vader or Mary Poppins-

-Isn’t the sound of people already in the room sighing enough of a theme for you?

-Well it looks like one little frog around here isn’t getting turned into a princess!

Yea, I really don’t know what I expected?? Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.

Speaking of daddy dearest, let’s check in. How’s it going, Jo? Great? Thought so, ok bye-

-DON’T YOU DARE PAN AWAY AND LEAVE ME TO MY MISERY MY ASPIRATION IS SCARLET RED

I’m sorry Jo but I’m a hear no evil, see no evil, spend-legacy-time-on-no-evil type of bitch and your life just bums me out at this point. But if it’s any consolation, it’s all your fault!

-HOW THE HELL IS IT MY FAULT I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS BULLSHIT

Um, YEA YOU DID. This is generation 2, we’re barely middle class and being heir is quite literally a shit job. Of course you could have minimized the impact had you chosen someone else to marry, but you just HAD to have Wyatt Narcolepsy Monif so.. talk to you later?

-Wyatt I’m worried our ship is sinking and no amount of rotting birthday cake can ease the pain.

-Oui, my estomac hurts toό.. Nothing 14 heures of sleepé won’t remédit of coursé :)

-DIDN’T NEED SUCH A GRAPHIC REMINDER THAT LIFE IS GARBAGE

God, wtf more do you want, 15k and still whining-

-OH. Well this just has Wyatt written all over it, but omg he tried to do a household task, just got confused at the very end. Bravo, leaps and bounds!

Meanwhile Shajar is having a successful interaction with a family member!! It’s a toddler who can’t get away, but whatever, it counts. Looks like this is a game-changing night for everyone.

-YES IT REALLY IS.

Jojo how about you take a page out of Komei’s book and devote your leftover energy to cats or cooking contests or banging Marissa Bendett instead of this constant, obnoxious guilt-tripping?? Man I really didn’t appreciate Komei while I had him.

7 a.m., the usual morning lineup, start on the chores and sweep 'till the floor's all clean, polish and wax, do laundry, and mop and shine up, sweep again, and by then it's like 7:15,  

and so I'll read a book, or maybe two or three, I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery, I'll play guitar and knit, and cook and basically-

-just wonder when will my life begin? ♪

And of course that’s Victor making his nightly appearance and helping put Jojo out of his misery. What a sweetheart!

With the addition of Wulf and his 10 active points generation 3 has officially evolved past sleep, we’re talking 10/10/9 (Shajar you lazy bum) and it’s seriously exhausting. You know how when sims are asleep you can check your phone or eat smth or w/e, yea that’s simply not happening anymore, I’m in constant vigilance all night long..

..and thank god because otherwise I would have missed Allegra and Victor’s ghosts playing??? WTF MAXIS. I’ve never seen this before and it’s the rare combo of sad and adorable. Right in the feels ❤️💔

THAT WASN’T AN INVITATION TO EXPRESS YOUR SADNESS FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME JOJO

Oh “ok” it’s a cockroaches related freak-out. I don’t see anyone else crying over them but that’s Jojo for you. Exterminator bro if you’re that grossed out by a pile of dead insects I have some bad news for you regarding your profession. And while we’re on the topic of professions and crying:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You may recall that Wyatt has been one promotion away from his LTW for about 150 years and all we’ve been doing since is trying to amass the 8 friends needed for it. Welp, we finally got them through our blood, sweat and tears, so what does Wyatt do the day he was supposed to get promoted?? Get fired of course, what else! 

Honestly I’m not even mad, this truly is like the culmination of everything we know Wyatt to be. I mean just cast your minds back to the final moments of this post. We knew what we were getting into. Rock on, Wyatt!

-Nό, there is no disgracéd police capitaine in this maison! Quelle?? I’m not even Français! Et toi shouldn’t be calling personnes at 5 p.m when everyόné is sound asleép!

Time for the black sheep to get the full Kylo Ren treatment. Looking good, Shaj! Now let’s put that hot makeover to use-

-NO.

Here we go, HUMAN contact. Toadface was a bust so let’s try a dude. Shajar do you mind talking about something other than your dead pets??

-But I don’t want to talk about anything else!

Yea and I don’t want to overstate things but I’m getting the distinct feeling finding you a partner is gonna make Daniel’s run at it look like Californication.

Well, the data we’ve gathered so far points to Shajar being a noogiesexual, I’m sure somewhere on tumblr there already exists a pride flag for it. 

That’s right, mop up the dog piss from that grass and think about the face you present to the world.

HOW IS YOUR ASPIRATION GONE TO SHIT AGAIN. WTF ARE YOU DOING WHEN I’M NOT LOOKING, GOING AROUND FACING YOUR FEARS?? JFC

-I have a perma fear of leading the miserable life I’m trapped in.

-Oh look, my kid is potty trainted and I get 5k points.. I’m soooo happy... Definitely don’t miss my serial killer days...

Ok I can’t take this anymore, either Wyatt will have to take up more household duties..

..or we can aim for something within the realm of reality and build a robot servant instead. And if you’re thinkering you’re not whining! Everyone wins.

In the dead of the night, a time when only 12 year old children are awake and watching god knows what-

-Game of Thrones! Team Stark!

Ugh, of course you are-

-Wulf grows up! 

-Woo happy birthday Wulf! Don’t even try to come for my golden child crown, I’m as perfect as my grades.

I don’t like what Game of Thrones is doing to you, Cyn.

First thing Wulf does after his pj makeover is head for the keyboard, which makes the choice for his general makeover clear as day:

Wulf...Wolf...WOLFGANG. I mean, some things are just written in the stars..

..AND SOME THINGS AREN’T, in this case Shajar’s dating life. We get another Butterface McBooberson (wtf is it with this dress in this town) but this one is also sporting terrible hair as a bonus. Score!

Great, we’ve moved from music themes to dead pets to world domination. At least we’re committing to the Kylo persona. Butter 2.0 is into it?? Get a grip girl.

-Um why do you think I have this last century hair? I’m very into monarchy.

This is not only going non-disastrously but dare I say, well?? I can’t tell if I want it to work or not though, on one hand I’ve made my feelings about this face template abundantly clear.. on the other hand this is the first human (except her 10 nice point sister) to like Shaj.. 

..thankfully it looks like there’s no need to solve that dilemma after all. Btw at the time of this writing I literally still don’t know if Shajar is into girls or dudes, or both. No reaction to anyone whatsoever. 

Meanwhile even after the noogie Butter is super receptive and doesn’t hate us? I was as shocked as you are, if we were rich I’d think she has some ulterior motive but nop, it’s just low standards. God bless them-

-cause we made our first friend!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank the fucking lord Shajar’s LTW isn’t friend related, take a wild guess what it is instead.. And of course, the answer is ‘become Mayor’. I can just see the banner now: ‘vote Shajar Union or face the deadly consequences’.

-Ahh my dear, finally, no screaming toddlers ruining my life while you pretend you can’t hear them.. Now I can slowly start un-resenting you.. Maybe there’s hope for this marriage after all..

Not if Cyneswith has anything to do with it! After spending her entire childhood cockblocking by sleeping in her parents’ bed, she literally grew up just as they were about to woohoo for the first time in 10 years. how in character. Wanna know what isn’t in character??? Hold on to your seats, everyone..

............

....................................

..............................................

OK THEN. Much like Wolfgang there is but one appropriate look for the above:

Did anyone think fucking Lolita Cyneswith was remotely possible, let alone probable?? ROMANCE?? And into the elderly???? I thought that combo was bad enough, I mean then you bring in the tinkering factor on top of it and it’s like, Waylon Fairchild and college profs won’t know what hit them.. How naive I was. Things can always, always get worse, and in this family, they usually do. You can probably tell where I’m going with this.. Fast forward a few days and the LTW shows up..

..........................................yup. You know it’s been months and you’d think I’d have articulated a response by now that isn’t just screaming or miscellaneous incoherent sounds, and yet! what can I say, sometimes emotions are so powerful that words fail us. In lieu of a written reaction please listen to this song after the specified time stamp. It’s 3 minutes long and the only lyric is ‘oh no’.

[god-damn-it-miranda]

Husband

Request: “I’m pregnant.” [12]  “I’m your husband, it’s my job.” [51]  “I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.” [58] (Hamliza)

Summary: Three of the most important times in Alexander and Eliza’s marriage come with a collection of new names and titles. 

Warnings: N/a

Word Count: 1,683

A/N: Requested by a wonderful anon! Also thanks to @peacefulmusician for helping me plan this out ages ago and also to @hamilficsfordays for pushing me to actually finish it. (also fun fact this is post #3,000 for this blog)

Their wedding reception had ended hours ago, but they’d only just managed to leave the hall, and that was only after every last one of their guests had filed out, shouting well wishes over their shoulders as they climbed into cars and drove off.

“Alexander, I am perfectly capable of walking!” Eliza laughed, wrapping her arms tighter around Alexander’s neck even though his grip was still strong and sure. Alexander grinned and nuzzled into her neck, pressing a string of light kisses to Eliza’s skin.

“Yeah I know, but you’ve been on your feet all day and I want to pamper you.” He hummed, carefully setting her down on the bed before taking his place next to her, lacing their hands together and struggling not to smile.

“Alex, you don’t need to pamper me.”

“You’ve been driving yourself mad these past few months planning this thing. I’m your husband, it’s my job to pamper you.” Alex said, kicking off his shoes and lying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling before chuckling to himself. “Husband.” He hummed dreamily. For months he had been dreaming of the day he could call himself Eliza’s husband, and now he finally had the chance. To him, it was a title befitting royalty. He was pulled from his thoughts as Eliza gently whacked his chest with a pillow, grinning at the startles noise he made.  

“Then get to pampering Mr. Hamilton,” she said with a laugh,” my feet are killing me.” Alexander raised an eyebrow and sat up, sliding off the bed and with an eager smile.

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Hamilton.”

Eliza snorted and rolled her eyes, lightly shoving Alexander back with her heel.

“You’re a pain Alex, you know that?”

“Well, yeah of course. I hear that almost every day.” Alex said, with a sly grin, carefully easing off Eliza’s heels and tossing them aside. “Though I still got you to agree to marry me. Though that was probably because of my rugged good looks.” He added thoughtfully.

“Actually it was just to get you to stop sending me letters. I swear I was drowning in them at some points.” Eliza laughed, leaning forward to grasp Alexander’s hands and pull him back into the bed. He laughed warmly and leaned in close, his fingers nimbly working at the zipper and ties that held up her wedding dress.

“Well, you won’t get as many letters, but I’ve still got other ways of winning you over.” He said, smiling against her neck.

“I should very well hope so Alexander.” She hummed, her voice light and airy. “Now, I seem to recall you promising some pampering?”

***

They’d been married for almost a year now, and in that time so much had changed. No longer were they living in a tiny one bedroom apartment in a less than ideal part of town, but they’d moved closer to Alexander’s law firm, downtown in the main hustle and bustle of the city.

And it was in that hustle and bustle that Eliza felt she’d lost her husband. Alexander still came home every night. Well, almost every night. He was spending more nights at the office than either of them cared to acknowledge. And while Eliza knew her husband’s career was extremely important to him, she also knew that they were starting to drift apart. And that was something neither of them wanted.

“Alex, could you come to the kitchen for a moment?”

“In a minute ‘liza, this is important.”

“Alex please.”

Something in her tone caught his attention, and after marking where he was on the page, Alexander pushed himself to his feet and made his way towards the kitchen. Eliza looked up from her spot at the table, her hands wrapped carefully around a mug of tea. Alex took his place opposite her, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Okay, I’m here. What’s wrong?” He asked, leaning forward and watching Eliza with a small smile. A small, almost shy smile that was so different from the charming, almost cocky grin he wore when they’d first met.

Eliza looked down at her tea, thoughtfully nibbling her lower lip before looking up again with a soft smile of her own.

“You spend a lot of time at the office and I miss you, Alex.” She started, lifting the mug to her lips and taking a tentative sip.

“I just want to make sure we have enough to get by, ‘liza. You knew when you married me I didn’t have a lot, and I want to pamper you on more than just our honeymoon. I just want to make sure you’re taken care of.”

“Alexander, calm down love.” Eliza said, unable to help her laugh at Alex’s sheepish smile. “I know you’re busy, and I’m so grateful that you’re willing to work so hard but…” she trailed off, biting her lip again.

“But what?” He prompted.

“I still want you to be home. I miss you Alex.” She said, looking up with wide eyes and sniffling softly. Alexander blinked and quickly slid out of his chair, circling around the table to wrap his arms around Eliza’s shoulders and pulling her close. She stiffened initially and sniffed again, finally releasing her mug to wipe her eyes.

They stood like that for several minutes in silence, the only sound being the suddenly obnoxious ticking of the clock over the door. Finally Eliza took a deep breath and turned her head slightly, Alexander leaning back so they could look each other in the face.

“Alex?”

“Mhm?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Alexander blinked, silent a moment as he looked down to Eliza.

“You…you’re…what?” He asked, at a rare loss for words. Eliza giggled despite herself and lifted her mug to take a sip.

“You heard me.”

“Pregnant…” He repeated slowly, trying the word out before a grin slowly grew across his face. Eliza recognized the look and groaned softly despite herself, struggling not to mirror her husband’s expression.

“Is that going to be the new ‘husband’ for you? Calling me pregnant?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting.

“It’s either pregnant or mother.” Alexander replied with a grin, prying Eliza’s hands free and pulling her to her feet.

“Oh god don’t you dare start calling me mother, Alexander.” They both laughed and simply stood in the middle of their kitchen, Eliza’s head resting against Alexander’s chest and his arms wound tightly around her.

“We’re going to need more money.”

“Shh…we don’t need money, Alex. We’ll make it work.”

“But-“

“No buts. We will make it work.”

Alexander opened his mouth to protest, but then noticed the look in Eliza’s eyes and all the fire went out of him. The look of pure contentment mixed with pleading was enough to make him realize that maybe Eliza was right. Maybe they could make it work.

***

If there was one thing more suspicious than toddlers being loud, it was toddlers being silent in the middle of the afternoon. Eliza stepped pushed herself to her feet and stretched, slowly tidying up the toys scattered around the house as she went searching for Angie and Philip. When she noticed the front door open, her heart sank.

“Philip? Angie?” She called, jogging towards the door and wrenching it completely open. For a brief second her heart stopped, no sign of the children in the yard or even on the street. Then a peel of childlike laughter came from the side of the house, and she immediately went towards it. When she rounded the corner, she couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief.

“Alexander, what exactly is this?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Her husband froze halfway through lifting their daughter onto the deep red motorcycle sitting in the middle of their driveway.

“Oh hey honey.” He said with a small smile, hurriedly setting their daughter on the seat and keeping a hand on her shoulder to keep her steady. Eliza raised an eyebrow, her lips pressed into a thin, unamused line, which she struggled to hold as Philip and Angie laughed brightly, mimicking the sounds of the bike.

“Daddy daddy! We’re on the highway!” Philip cheered, his hands just barely able to reach the handlebars of the bike.

“Yes you are Philip!” Alexander laughed, jumping in surprised as Eliza stepped closer to him, lightly bumping his hip.

“Alex…”

“No no, don’t worry about it. The keys aren’t even in the ignition.” He said, reaching into his pocket to pull the keys and jingle them a moment before putting them away. Eliza rolled her eyes and huffed, taking his hand and tugging it gently.

“Can we talk a minute, please?” Something in her tone told Alexander that he had absolutely no right to say no, so he nodded and quickly told Philip to keep an eye on his sister before allowing Eliza to lead him out of earshot of the children.

“What. The. Hell.” She said, turning on him sharply and pointing to the bike. “Alex, what is that thing and why is it in our driveway?”

“It’s a motorbike, hun. I’ve always wanted one and now I’ve got one! And I look amazing on it, and-“

“Alex, what’s this really about?” Eliza stopped him, shaking her head while unable to help her fond smile at her husband’s bashful expression. He was quiet a moment, just watching Philip and Angie playing on the bike before he sighed heavily and shrugged.

“Things were starting to get stale.”

“And you thought buying a motorcycle would fix that?” Eliza couldn’t help but laugh, shaking her head and leaning her head against Alexander’s shoulder, smiling faintly as she felt his arm wrap around her shoulders. “Alexander you’re an idiot.”

“Hey, I’m not an idiot. I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.”

“That’s just a fancy way of calling yourself an idiot.” Eliza pointed out, and the two of them laughed for a moment, content to lean against one another and watch Philip and Angie continue to play on the bike.

“You’re selling that thing first thing tomorrow.”

“Yes dear.”

[stereksummerexchange]

The Time Stiles and Derek Were Surprised

@kaidarknight - Hey. I don’t know you personally but I really enjoy the drawings you produce! They’re a work of art–pun intended. I hope you enjoy what I wrote. Keep being amazing my man! (:

by @alecisgay

G (or PG maybe..?) - A tad of briefly explained violence & death.

Note: Any spelling and or grammatical errors are mine and I apologize for them. Also Alive! Hale family in this because why not? Mama Hale is the best. I think I may have made a Derek a tad OOC too.. Sorry!

Derek tries getting their child to walk while Stiles is out of town.

“Come on, Marie! You got it,” Derek exclaimed to the young toddler that sat in front of him on the floor. Marie had recently turned a year old and Stiles couldn’t be any happier with this information; in his words “his little baby would start walking soon!” And Stiles always talked about how despite Derek always tried to pass himself off as annoyed as Stiles talked a mile a minute about the day that was slowly but surely approaching, that Derek himself was just as interested and bustling with nerves like himself. But that’s another story for another day.

How Stiles and Derek got Marie was a bit…messy. There had been an attack in the area where little Marie had previously lived, the attack resulting in the loss of baby Marie’s parents. When Marie was found by the local pack in the area a little ways away, the alpha of the pack had reached out to Talia to see if she knew anyone that could take in a parentless werewolf cub, the ones he had reached out to already had declined him as all mated pairs already had their own children.

And of course Derek had jumped on the idea of him and his mate taking care of a baby–Stiles was good and a natural with kids, they loved him and hey, they were talking about possibly adopting a kid anyways. The pair couldn’t stand the thought of a werewolf cub all by itself with no one wanting to parent them, even if the rejections had caused said pairs to be pained about it.

Though Derek wouldn’t admit it to Stiles, or anyone else for that matter, and if anyone did manage to ask he’d roll his eyes and continue to hold the scowl that graced the features of his face regularly, but he really was looking forward to Marie taking her first steps. Though he had an itching suspicion that Stiles already knew this and was quietly laughing to himself whenever he tried to state otherwise (or whenever they were alone and that is all Stiles would talk about) and making a betting pool with his friends and family to see when he would come out and say it to them.   

And that’s how Derek found himself sitting on the floor straight across from the young toddler who seemed too busy trying to engage Derek in the noises that pushed past her lips for conversation. He released a chuckle and clasped his hands together. “Come on now, little one. I know you can do it,” and as if to strengthen his point Derek grasped the two tiny hands in his own to lift baby Marie up to aid her in her walking mission.

He had been at this for… 2 hours now? No, that didn’t seem right to the man. Maybe 3 and a half hours? Hell, it could’ve been 4 hours. Needless to say he was getting a bit frustrated with the situation at hand. Werewolf cubs supposed to learn things faster than humans but Marie hadn’t been any progress whatsoever and it worried him despite Stiles’ reassurances that everything was fine.

So then why was his daughter so delayed in walking? He sighed out a puff of air while he debated his options. Maybe he should call Stiles to make sure their kid was alright but he was out with his father. The two had planned a trip for three days to spend time together to make up for the lost time between them and Stiles wasn’t due back until at least 5:30 in the evening and it was barely 3:30 in the afternoon.

Derek let out an annoyed growl at the thought but he didn’t blame his husband. Stiles had barely spoken to his father since they got Marie, not being able to find the time to pick up the phone and call with the packed days they both had. At the rate his day was going he was probably going to have better luck with Marie saying her first word and Derek sulked at the thought.

He just wanted his child to walk. Why was this so hard? Maybe he could call his mom for help? Yeah, she’d know what to do. Setting Marie gently down on the floor he began to fish around for the phone that was currently residing in his pocket and dialed his mother.

“Hey Derek, is everything okay?” Talia picked up on the first ring and sounded worried. Though he guesses it’s because they’re currently out of the country and told only to phone if something went wrong. Huh. Well, this was an emergency anyways. To him at least.

“Mom.. Mom how do you get a child to walk?” Derek sighed annoyed and ran a hand over his face. “I’ve tried everything! She refuses to walk and it’s frustrating!”

“Derek?”

“Yes..?”

“You called me to complain about your child not being able to walk?” Talia sounded amused at her son. “I get Stiles isn’t home currently but that doesn’t mean you have to get frustrated that your baby whisperer isn’t around.”

“Mom..” Derek groaned out and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you know how to help?“ And to hell with it if he sounded hopeful about it. He was a grown adult and he had to learn to swallow his pride and ask for help.

“Relax Derek,” Talia sighed into the phone, “she’ll walk when she wants. You can’t force a child to do anything, let alone a toddler. I learned that best with you and your siblings!” Talia laughed into the phone.

“We weren’t that bad!” Derek hissed into the phone but a smile broke out on his face. He loved his mother more than anything and could never manage to be mad at her.

“Whatever you say Derek,” Talia sighed into the phone, “but I do have to get back to the meeting that you rudely interrupted. I’ll see you when I get home.”

And with that Derek heard the dial tone ringing in his ear as his mother hung up on him. Derek looked down to his phone to see it was only 3:40 in the afternoon and bit back a groan. He had barely 2 hours before Stiles came home to help him with the baby situation.

“Okay, you can do it Hale..” he whispered to himself and looked down at Marie who giggled and looked back up at him. A smile broke out on his face as he picked her up and placed her in his lap. Yes, he could definitely do this. Now they just needed Stiles to come back home and their family would be complete.

Fast forwarding two hours had Derek wondering two things when he woke up from the apparent nap he had taken with Marie: what time is it and was it Stiles? Sniffing into the air and catching the scent with it Derek smiled. Of course it was Stiles. Who else would it be?

Marie had woken up from the sound of Stiles closing the front door and walking into the living room where his two favourite werewolves were currently residing. When Marie saw who was it her eyes lit up and immediately began to make happy noises and grabby hands demanding Stiles pick her up.

Stiles chuckled at that while being amused. He began walking towards the pair when Marie pushed herself out of Derek’s lap and onto the floor. She looked down at the floor while wiggling her feet for a second before nodding determined with the task she set for herself.

And Derek watched with amazement as Marie took wobbling steps towards his mate. Derek sucked in a breath at it and Stiles could feel the amount of pride rushing towards him for their daughter through their mating bond.

And Stiles? Well, Stiles was happy too. Their baby had taken her first steps and Stiles was home to see it so of course he was happy–ecstatic even! And well, if Stiles had a few tears on his face no one had to know. All they needed to know was that Stiles was a very proud parent.

When Marie finally met her destination, Stiles’ legs, she reached out a tiny hand and tugged on his pant leg. Stiles leaned down to his daughter and smiled. “I’m so proud of you Marie. Yes, I am!” Stiles talked to his daughter in his baby voice.

“Uba?” Marie asked and continue to tug on his pant leg.

“Up? You want up baby girl?” Stiles asked Marie and laughed again when she nodded her head quickly and gave it a shake. Apparently she had nodded too fast for her little head.

“Alright. Come here,” Stiles said and Marie made grabby hands to Stiles and made a content sound when she was placed against Stiles’ hip.

Derek chuckled at that and stood up. “Guess she missed you,” he stated and leaned down to give his husband a kiss on the lips. “And she wasn’t the only one. I missed you badly,” Derek said as he gave another quick kiss to Stiles’ lips before turning to grab Marie off Stiles and place her on his shoulders.

“I’m not sure how you did it but you made Marie walk,” Derek said as he started walking towards the kitchen and he heard the soft patter of feet signaling that was Stiles was following behind him.   

“I’ve been trying to get her to walk all day and nothing,” he said irritated. “But you walk in and suddenly she’s standing and walking to you.” Derek frowned a little. “Not that I’m not happy she’s walking but…”

“But you wanted to be the one to get her to walk. I get it babe,” Stiles said and laughed, “but how about we enjoy the rest of our evening and then relax in a nice warm bath later when she’s sleeping?”

Derek leaned down to press his lips to Stiles’ again. “I think,” a kiss. “That sounds,” another kiss. “Amazing.” The last kiss was placed on Stiles’ lips gently and Stiles sighed into the kiss. How he missed his family..

“How about we have some dinner and watch a movie?” Derek suggested and Stiles nodded at it.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe I can get you to finally appreciate the movies I watch!” Stiles snickered when Derek made a face and broke out into a wheezing laugh when Marie made a sound of agreement from above Derek’s head.

Yes, Stiles thought, it’s good to be home.

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Misery Loves Company Part 2

Chapter Eighteen:

The One With The Nightmare

Violet and Klaus didn’t like that Count Olaf had once again shown up in their lives in pursuit of their inheritance and their lives but they will admit some time during dinner both siblings realized that it was better when Olaf was in front of them because that means he wasn’t hurting Duncan, Isadora, or Sunny.

So when it was finally late enough where Mrs. Squalor started walking Gunther to the door, Violet and Klaus’ face fell with worry as the villain’s bid them a goodnight promising Esme, and them, that he’ll be back first thing tomorrow. Violet wanted to chase after him maybe he’d lead her to where her friends and baby sister were hidden. But there was that nagging fear that if he found out she was following him and that she was alone because there would be no way in hell that she’d bring Klaus with her, she didn’t want to imagine the things he would do. Klaus wanted to chase after him yelling help someone help! This man is Count Olaf! He has my friends and baby sister! But he feared Olaf would merely get out of that as he did with every other ridiculous disguise he donned. So he stood there next to Violet watching worriedly as his worst nightmare left his apartment to possibly go hurt his friends and or baby sister.

After locking her apartment door, Esme turned towards Violet and Klaus and bid them goodnight. As she walked passed them, she called out. “If you are going to stay up, please try not to make any noise. A powerful woman like myself needs her beauty sleep.”

Violet and Klaus looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders. Jerome slowly followed behind his wife.

“Jerome?” Klaus called out.

“Yeah, Klaus?”

“Do you guys have a library? I noticed that during the tour we skipped a lot of rooms and…” He began.

Jerome frowned. “Unfortunately, no. Books have been out for a rather long time.’ He watched as Klaus responded with a frown. “But tell you what, tomorrow I’ll take you and Violet into town. We can go shopping and have a good time. Get your mind off of...well, you know.”

Violet smiled at Jerome in response as she looked over at Klaus, who still looked rather sad. He gave Jerome a quick and small smile. Jerome walked with the children to help them navigate their bedrooms. Once they reached their rooms, Jerome bid them goodnight and walked down the hall towards his room.

“Don’t worry,” Violet told Klaus.

“How do you expect me not to worry?”

“We are going to save them,”

“How?”

“I’m still trying to figure that part out,” Violet admitted.

“So in other words, we have nothing,” Klaus cried.

Violet looked away from Klaus. “Well...there is one thing...but it’s more of a last resort thing,” she muttered.

“What?” Klaus asked looking at his sister.

“...that’s top-secret,” Violet said. “It doesn’t concern you.”

‘Yes, it does,”

“No, it really doesn’t,”

‘What is the ‘last resort”?” he asked her.

She turned her head not wanting to face him. “Well, you heard him,” she said shuddering. “He’s willing to trade me for Sunny and one of the Quagmires,”

Klaus’ eyes widened. “Are you crazy!?” he yelled. “We aren’t trading your life for theirs,”

“Why not?”

“Because this isn’t a game, Violet. This is serious business. Olaf is a madman who is determined to destroy us,” he reminded her. “And that has a different meaning for each of us if you know what I mean,”

Violet shuddered to indicate to Klaus that she did understand what he meant. She frowned. “Isn’t it selfish of me though?” she asked.

“How would it…”

“Two of them will be given their freedom for mine,” Violet said. “I’m not worth two people’s freedoms,”

“Violet, stop this nonsense,” Klaus hissed. ‘We’re not trading you for them. Besides who’s to say he’ll keep his end of the deal? He’d probably still keep all of them and take me in the process. You would be surrendering for nothing,”

“He...wouldn’t do that….would he?”

“Oh, he would, Vi. Out of the five of us, you’re the one who poses a threat to him. It must be the Snicket gene,” Klaus commented.

“Or the Baudelaire gene...did you see yourself back there when he first showed his face?” she reminded Klaus. “I thought you were going to kill him,”

“I wanted to,” Klaus admitted. “But he may be the only person alive who knows where they are,”

“That’s why tomorrow, we have to search the neighborhood for abandoned buildings or some kind of hiding place that a kidnapper would use to hide his victims,” Violet said. “Now I don’t know about you but touring this penthouse tired me out. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She gave her brother a quick hug and then disappeared into her room closing her door behind her. Klaus looked worriedly at her door before turning into his own.

________________________________________________________

Sunny was currently crawling around the dark cage, wailing about her current situation and worried about her older siblings who could already be in the bastard’s clutches. Duncan and Isadora sighed as they leaned their backs on the steel bars of the cage. Duncan grabbed Sunny and set her on each of their laps. Sunny looked up at them and even though she couldn’t see them in the darkness she knew that they were looking back down at her with hopeful smiles on their faces.

“Violet…” Sunny whimpered. “Klaus…”

“It’s okay, Sunny,’ Duncan tried to reassure.

“Duncan’s right, Violet and Klaus are going to save us,” Isadora tried to reassure.

Sunny nodded her head slowly but continued to cry. Sunny was immensely worried about her brother and her newly found older half-sister. She saw how Olaf look at Isadora, although she didn’t fully understand the implications, she knew it was nothing good. Especially since Duncan and Klaus get super mad and defensive whenever Olaf touches Violet or Isadora. So she was worried about Violet even if she didn’t fully understand why she should be worried about her sister. She was also entirely worried about her older brother. Sunny didn’t understand inheritance law seeing that she was a toddler in unfortunate circumstances, but she did understand that Olaf only needs one Baudelaire alive, so if he has Sunny what did that mean for Klaus? And since Violet is Beatrice’s daughter, once he catches Violet what did that mean for Sunny? These two questions continued to repeat themselves in her mind.

Her thoughts were put to a halt as she could hear someone approaching. Duncan and Isadora could hear the entrance to wherever the fuck they are open. They both shuffled to their feet. Duncan quickly scooping up Sunny in his arms. Isadora pulled her brother to the middle of the cage, she hoped that if they weren’t near the outside of the cage, Olaf would have a difficult time reaching in here and grabbing one of them.

They could hear his footsteps circling the outside of the cage. “Oh, come on, orphans. I’m not that bad, am I?”

The children didn’t answer him, they stayed huddled together.

“I’m in an extremely good mood and do you three want to know why?”

Sunny’s stomach shifted, she had a feeling she knew what he was gloating about.

“Good thing for you, baby, your big brother is not very keen on me harming you,”

“Klaus…” Sunny whimpered.

“Not enough to trade the Snicket girl, though.”

“Why would Klaus trade in his older sister for his younger sister?” Isadora asked. “Your plan is highly flawed,”

“Just leave them alone,” Duncan yelled at the villain. “Aren’t our sapphires enough? Let Sunny go and leave Violet and Klaus alone!”

Olaf gave a cruel laugh. “Have you twins realized that you’re in this predicament because of the Baudelaires and Snickets?”

“We’re triplets!” Duncan yelled angrily. “And we don’t blame them for your decisions,”

Olaf shrugged giving Duncan a cruel laugh. “Ah, the secrets I could share,” he replied tauntingly. He took out his spyglass, moving the dials on it until a ray of light escaped from the lens. He pointed the light at the children. Duncan slightly pushed Isadora and Sunny behind him. He pointed the light at each child, smirking. All three children’s eyes hurt from being so sensitive to the change in light. He pointed the light solely at Sunny. “Like the secrets that your own brother won’t tell you,” he teased. Sunny’s face dropped.

“Birdcage?” she asked the villain, which was her way of asking, “Like what you did to him when I was shoved in the birdcage?”

Olaf looked at her confused for a moment. He wasn’t sure what she meant entirely but he slowly nodded her head. “I’m sure I can tell you that and more,” he told Sunny. “I could tell all three of you orphans such scary, scary things.”

“Fuck off,” Duncan said.

“I can tell you all you want to know about your parents and maybe even why the fire happened,”

“We can figure that out ourselves,” Isadora told the man.

“I highly doubt that,” Olaf said. “You're currently stuck in a cage, orphans. I am your only source of information. Maybe we can strike up a deal?”

He shined the light exclusively on Isadora who closed her eyes. “Don’t even look at my sister!” Duncan hissed angrily.

Olaf laughed. “Do we have to go through this again?” He asked tiredly.

“Brother?” Sunny asked glaring at Olaf. Olaf shined the light at her. Unsure of what she was saying. She looked to Duncan and Isadora. “Down,” she demanded.

Olaf smiled a wicked smile as he looked at the toddler. “You want to learn your family secrets?” he asked the toddler.

Sunny nodded her head as Duncan held her tighter. “Down,” she demanded again.

“Detailed answers like that will cost you,” Olaf warned Sunny. But curiosity killed the cat. Sunny was already determined to learn as much as she could so when Violet and Klaus rescued her she can do her best to relay the information.

“Sunny, what are you doing?” Duncan asked.

Sunny ignored Duncan’s answers as she asked him to put her down. He looked to Isadora who merely shook her head. Not truly liking this. Sunny kicked Duncan until he finally set her down. Sunny inched her way to the end of the cage, she glared out of it as Olaf shined the spyglass on her.

“Somebody’s eager to learn,” Olaf said laughing.

“Fuck you,” Sunny muttered. She hoped Olaf didn’t hear her, she didn’t like to admit it but he scared her. She knew that some part of him already knew the truth.

He looked down at her again, grinning entirely. He began to unlock the cage, Duncan and Isadora both getting nervous. “What are you doing?” Isadora asked.

“Where are you taking Sunny?” Duncan asked.

Olaf smirked as he grabbed the toddler. Sunny tried to show the man absolutely no fear. As he held her, he looked back at the two Quagmires who rushed worriedly to the side of the cage.

“Don’t hurt her!” Isadora cried.

“Give her back!” Duncan cried.

“I won’t hurt her, orphans,” Olaf called back as he carried Sunny away from the Quagmires. “ Not yet...at least,” He called back chuckling.

“Oh shit. Oh shit,” Duncan said aloud. “This is bad. Why did we let her do that?”

‘She’s figuring out the mysteries of her parents and maybe ours and Violet’s father,” Isadora said trying to stay positive.

“He could kill her,”

“He won’t do that unless he had Violet or Klaus in his clutches,”

“We still shouldn’t have let him take her,”

“She’ll be fine. She’s tough,” Isadora reassured although her brother could tell that she wasn’t too sure. “He’ll bring her back soon,”

“I hope so,”

_____________________________________________________________

Klaus ran from 667 Dark Avenue, he didn’t know entirely where he was running to but it felt too familiar for him to be cautious. He ran down the street a couple of blocks, he turned behind him to make sure no one was following him. He continued to run until he reached a neighborhood. His heart was on his sleeve. He looked around and saw the row of fancy houses. His running slowed down a bit when he looked down the street and saw the home that he had been raised in, standing. Completely untouched by the flames that Klaus would have imagined destroyed his home. He sped up in excitement. Could it be...he was finally waking up from this nightmare that had been plaguing him?

“Mother!” He called out happily as he reached the front door of his old home. “Father!”

He continued to call out for either one of his parents. Each of his calls was getting more desperate and more pleading. Finally, he reached Sunny’s nursery to find both of his parents looking mournfully into Sunny’s crib.

“Mother?” Klaus asked nervously. “Father?”

Both his parents turned to look at him. Their disappointed faces were enough to make Klaus want to run and hide. “W-where have you been?” he asked. He wanted so much to hug both of his parents, tell them all about his and Sunny’s adventures but something kept him from wrapping his arms around them. Neither one of his parents answered. They merely shook their heads at him dismissively. They walked from Sunny’s crib to her window, barely paying any attention to their son.

“Mother?” Klaus cried out confused. “Father?” he peered into Sunny’s crib. She wasn’t in there. Where was Sunny? He asked himself. “Where’s Sunny?”

That was when his mother turned around sharply to fully acknowledge him. “We were going to ask you the same question,” Beatrice barked angrily causing Klaus to flinch.

“Where is your sister?” his father asked sternly. Klaus became tongue-tied. He never had his parents this angry with him, it made him uncomfortable.

“I don’t know,” Klaus admitted meekly. “I can get her back, though,”

His parents laughed. “Don’t make another promise you can’t keep,” His father told him. Klaus frowned.

“I’m sorry. I did my best,” he pleaded.

His parents were having any of it. “Your best?” His mother asked. “Your best wasn’t good enough, Klaus. Count Olaf has your sister,”

Klaus could feel the tears in his eyes. “I know. I know. I’m trying to get her back,”

“How do you expect to get her back?”

“I’ll think of something,” he pleads

“You? Or Violet will think of something?” his mother asked him.

He looked down ashamed. “I’m sorry. You have to believe me I did my best,” he begged.

“You had only one job, Klaus. Protect your baby sister and you couldn’t even do that,” his father said.

“I tried. Please,” He cried. “I didn’t mean for her to get kidnapped…”

“We trusted you, son,”

“You’ve let us down,” his mother replied.

Klaus wiped his eyes. “I’m...I’m sorry,”

His parents ignored him, turning their backs toward him. He continued to cry and plead for his parents’ forgiveness. Soon, he believes he can smell smoke. “Mother! Father! We’ve got to get out of…” but he stops, he notices orange flames starting from his parents' ankles rising up. In mere seconds both his parents have caught fire, he screams. Trying to put them out, but the flames are too much for him to control. As they burn he continues to apologize to them and even begs for their forgiveness. He sits in the midst of Sunny’s old nursery crying. Watching as two pile of ashes form around him, where his parents just stood. He’s shaking. He’s crying and screaming. He wants out of this nightmare.

“Klaus!” a voice calls out. It’s a small voice, one full of fear and panic. He recognizes the voice almost immediately. It was Sunny.

He stood up, walking past the two piles of ash. I can fix this. He tells himself, wiping a few of his own tears from his face. “Klaus!” Sunny calls for him again.

“I’m coming sunshine!” he calls back as he runs through several different rooms of his old house. “I’ll save you, Sunny!”

He can hear a cruel laugh from behind him. “Are you sure about that?” the voice hissed in his ear.

“Klaus!” Violet yelled in his face as Klaus’ eyes shot open. He looked around his bedroom. His breathing was shallow and quick.

“V-violet?” he asked. Glancing around the room.

“Klaus...what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly.

“I...I had a bad dream,” Klaus whispered.

“I can see that,” Violet said. “You kept screaming and yelling that you’re sorry,”

“I’m sorry I woke you,” Klaus said trying to hide his shaking.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Violet asked. Klaus shook his head.

“I’m...I’m fine,”

Violet sighed as she sat down on the ground. “You blame yourself still, don’t you?”

He shook his head. “I failed them,” He whispered.

“Who’s them?”  Violet asked. “The Quagmires and Sunny?”

He shook his head. “No,” he answered.

“Then who?”

“My parents,” He whispered.

“They don’t blame you…”

“How would you know?” he asked. “They asked me to keep Sunny safe and I haven’t been able to do that at all,”

“Because Olaf won’t let you,”

He shook his head. “I’m a failure,” he whispered.

“Klaus, don’t do this to yourself. We’ll save her.” Violet reassured. “Now go back to sleep,”

He looked around his room nervously. He didn’t want to finish his dream. As bad as his nightmares can get, that one was pretty tamed. He didn’t want to endure anything worse than that. He noticed Violet didn’t get up from her spot on the floor. “What are you doing?’

“I’m going to stay in here until I know you’re okay,” she explained to him.

He sighed but gave her a grateful smile. “You don’t have to,” he explained.

“Go back to sleep,” she told him as he laid back down. He tried his best to close his eyes and allow himself back into a nice sleep but there was a part of him that was too terrified to continue the dream. He tried like hell to get his mind off of his parents and what they would think about his little sister’s predicament. He couldn’t help but blame himself. It didn’t matter what anyone tried to tell him either. He knew deep down Sunny being kidnapped was his fault entirely.

He tried to go back to sleep but wasn’t successful, unfortunately. The rest of the night all Klaus had done was toss and turn in his bed, each time he closed his eyes all he could see or hear were the disappointing faces and tones of his parents. Violet kept true to her word, she had stayed the rest of the night, laying on his floor. She had made a make-shift bed out of pillows and blankets that she had brought in from her room. But even with her right there Klaus couldn’t get back to sleep.

So when Jerome knocked on his door announcing to the children that he had made breakfast. Violet and Klaus hurried to get ready for their day with Jerome. The children were very cautious as to met with Jerome in the kitchen closest to the front door. Jerome had explained to the two kids that Esme had already left for work so that it would simply be the three of them today. That didn’t bother any child because they much preferred to hang out with Jerome than with Esme. Once the two children finished breakfast, Jerome would take the children to some of their favorite places in town. Violet was happy to see that her favorite exhibits at the Verne Invention Museum had not been changed since the last time her father took her, she was happy to take another look at the mechanical demonstrations that had inspired her to be an inventor when she was just two years old. Klaus was delighted to revisit the Akhmatova Bookstore, where his father used to take him as a special treat, to buy an atlas or a volume of the encyclopedia. Jerome had offered to buy Klaus and even Violet a few books if both children were up for it. Violet and Klaus had searched the aisles of the bookstore looking for a book for Duncan, Isadora, and Sunny. Jerome would take the children wherever they asked to go. And for a moment, Violet and Klaus were able to briefly forget all of their troubles and focus on the joy and excitement of being home again. Klaus hadn’t been in the city in a long time, the last time he was here was when he still lived with Count Olaf. As Violet and Klaus took turns suggested where they should visit, Jerome told them stories about their mother. Violet and Klaus would listen as Jerome spoke of stories and stories involving their mother. When Klaus and Violet had asked about their fathers, he didn’t have as many stories of them then he did about their mother. “Esme is the one who knew your fathers,” he had explained to them.

Once the afternoon was coming to a close, the two children and their guardian would head back to 667 Dark Avenue, and the children would get lost hopelessly lost in the penthouse every time they decided to leave a room. Violet had left her bedroom to go brush her teeth and could not find her way back for an hour and Klaus had accidentally left his glasses on a kitchen counter and wasted the entire afternoon searching for them. This seemed to be their lives in routine for the next couple of days.

They would wake up to Jerome offering them breakfast, Jerome would treat them to a fun morning out where they would return home in the afternoon. The two children would wonder where in the world Esme and Gunther were. They didn’t like knowing that Esme was alone with such a notorious villain. They wondered what day will be the day where they find her dead body and Gunther went after Jerome. Three days had passed and the children scarcely saw Esme during the day only at night they would see her and she would announce to them that the In Auction was closer and closer and that she and Gunther were planning the best one yet. Violet and Klaus also noticed that when Esme was home and not at work, she would scarcely make any effort in finding the children and hanging out with them. As if she had forgotten all about the two new members of her family, or was simply more interested in lounging around the rooms in her enormous apartment rather than spending time with the two half-siblings. Violet and Klaus barely minded that she was absent so often. They much preferred spending time with one another or Jerome, rather than participating in endless conversations about what was in and what was out.

Even when the two would spend quiet hours in their rooms, the children didn’t entirely have a splendid time. Although Jerome had bought Violet some tools, he begged her to use them as quiet as possible. If Esme knew she had tools in her penthouse she’d flip because tools have been out for quite a while. Even Klaus, whose special interest was a quiet one especially compared to Violet’s, Jerome had asked him to be careful and to not let Esme catch him with books seeing that books had been out for quite some time. So even in the comfort of his own room, he was afraid Esme would pop in randomly and catch him reading. Another reason why neither sibling could really focus on their hobbies was that in the three days that slowly passed, the two siblings only caught a glimpse of Olaf which worried them. What was he planning that made him leave them alone? They wondered what he could be doing to the Quagmires and Sunny. They even listened each time he spoke hoping he’d give off clues as to where he has hidden them but no such luck for the two siblings.

Even though the two siblings were bored out of their minds, they couldn’t help but fear what the Quagmires and Sunny were going through as Count Olaf’s prisoners. They knew that the Quagmires and Sunny could be experiencing things that are so much worse than it was hard to get through each passing day. With each passing day, their worry for their friends and baby sister felt like a heavy load on their shoulders, and the load only seemed heavier, because the Squalors refused to be of any assistance.

“I’m very, very tired of discussing your little twin friends and your baby sister,” Esme said rudely after the third night of Violet and Klaus moping around her apartment. “I get your worried about them but it’s boring to keep blabbing on about it,”

“We didn’t mean to bore you,” Violet explained as she and Klaus glared at Esme. She didn’t point out that it is terribly rude to tell people that their trouble bore you.

Jerome sighed. “Of course you didn’t,” he replied. “The children are concerned, Esme, which is perfectly understandable. I know Mr. Poe is doing all that he can,”

Klaus scoffed at this. “But maybe we can put our heads together and come up with something,”

“I don’t have time to put my head together,” Esme explained. “The In Auction is coming up, and I have to devote all my energy to make sure it’s a success. Tonight, Gunther is taking us all out to dinner…”

“What?” Klaus asked.

“Gunther is taking the four of us out to dinner,” Esme repeated rolling her eyes. “Are you deaf, orphan boy?”

“W-where?” Klaus asked.

“Oh, how wonderful!” Jerome said.

“Yes, it is wonderful, isn’t it,” Esme replied, glancing over at Klaus. “Try not to embarrass me, orphan boy.”

“I think I’ll just stay home,” Klaus responded. Esme looked at him with utter annoyance.

“No, you will not just stay home,” she responded. “You and Violet are going to come celebrate the In Auction with us.”

“But…”

“We’ll be more than happy to,” Violet said.

Klaus turned to Violet as if she was crazy. “What are you doing?”

“Just trust me,” she responded.

Klaus looked worriedly at his older sister.

Esme stood up clapping her hands. “Let’s go,” she said tirelessly. “We shouldn’t keep Gunther waiting,”

Klaus stood up slowly as Violet followed behind him. The two children followed their guardians out of the penthouse and down the stairs from their penthouse to the lobby of the building. With every step, Violet and Klaus couldn’t help but feel that they were getting closer and closer to Olaf’s clutches. During the walk down, Klaus’ eyes focussed a rather long time on the elevator door. It still puzzled him how there were two pairs of doors only on the top floor. He paid attention to each floor, noticing how there was only a single pair of doors. It was odd to him. Even when the four had reached the lobby where he could see Olaf in his Gunther costume waiting by the front door making sure to hide his face from the doorman, he noticed that even the lobby only had one pair of elevator doors. Klaus couldn’t help but realize that this made absolutely no sense. Why would an elevator only have doors on the top floor and not on any other floor? He asked himself as he could feel Olaf’s glare intensify. He turned his head from the elevator's doors. He didn’t know if he was right but he knew that in the slight chance that he was he didn’t want Olaf knowing that he was figuring it out. So he focused his gaze on anything but the elevator doors. But the only thing on Klaus’ mind was the elevator doors.