#i am like a phoenix rising from the ashes of my burn-out
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guys!!!! i am reading!!!! and i am writing!!!!! and i am having visions about this cool art thing i wanna do when i get home!!!!! my zest for life is sooooo back baby oh my god
#i feel so alive!!!!! i knew the sea would cure me……. only took me till halfway through the summer to get there lol#i am like a phoenix rising from the ashes of my burn-out#<- i am aware that this will probably not last. but like the phoenix….. creativity is cyclical 🙏#it will always return!!!!!!! and it has returned to meeeeeee#anyway ignore this i’m just feeling joyful today!! yippee!!!!
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Protective cookie
Harbor x female reader one-shot
"Special delivery!" Your voice echoes through the Valorant compound's common area as you navigate the security checkpoint . The guards barely glance at your credentials anymore – you're as much a fixture here as the training dummies.
"Please tell me those are my muffins," Jett materializes beside you, practically vibrating with excitement.
You laugh, carefully setting down your loaded delivery cart. "Yes, your hotteok-inspired muffins are here. And before anyone else shows up—" you start pulling out labeled boxes "—Raze's pão de queijo, Sova's black bread, and... where did I put Cypher's baklava?"
"Looking for this?" Varun's deep voice makes you turn. He's holding up the box in question, a knowing smile on his face. "I intercepted it at the front gate. Had to make sure it was... secure."
"The only thing that needs securing is your sweet tooth," you tease, noting the telltale crumbs on his vest. "That was meant for Cypher."
"I'll make it up to him." Varun moves closer, ostensibly to help unload your cart, but his hand lingers on yours longer than necessary. "Though I'm still waiting for my cardamom cookies."
"Second delivery of the day, remember? These are just breakfast essentials."
"BREAKFAST!" Gekko bursts into the room, Phoenix hot on his heels. "Yo, did you bring those chocolate croissants? The ones from yesterday were insane!" You start distributing boxes, watching fondly as the agents gather around like eager kids. It's hard to believe these are the same people you see on the news, fighting world-threatening dangers. Right now, they're just people excited about fresh-baked goods.
"Sage, your green tea bread is in the blue box," you call out, spotting the healer trying to peek around Fade. "And yes, I remembered the extra sesame seeds."
"You spoil us," Sage says warmly, collecting her box.
"That's literally my job," you remind her, but you're smiling. Over the past year, these deliveries have become more than just business. Each recipe is carefully tailored to bring a taste of home to these agents who give up so much to protect others. Varun appears at your elbow again, helping you restack empty boxes. "You know," he says quietly, "you could just leave everything in the kitchen."
"And miss all this?" You gesture to where Gekko is dramatically declaring his love for your pastries while Fade rolls her eyes. "Besides, how else would I get to see you?"
His expression softens. "Dinner tonight? That little place by your bakery?"
"Can't. Got a massive wedding cake order to finish." You reach up to straighten his collar, a habit you've developed over months of stolen moments between deliveries. "But I might have some extra cardamom cookies that need taste-testing around nine."
"Nine it is."
The next morning starts like any other – up at 4 AM, ovens warming, dough rising. You're humming as you shape Brimstone's favorite sourdough when the first window breaks.
The smoke comes next.
"She's not answering." Varun's voice is tight as he stares at his phone. The pre-dawn sky is tinted orange with flames, reflecting off the water gathering unconsciously around his feet.
"Harbor," Brimstone warns, using his code name in the field. "We do this by the book."
But Varun's already moving, water surging around him as he pushes through the police line. He finds you outside your burning bakery, soot-stained and shaking, clutching a charred recipe book to your chest.
"Varun," you choke out, and he pulls you into his arms, not caring about the ash or the witnesses or protocol.
"I've got you," he murmurs into your hair. "I've got you."
"Brimstone, sir." Varun's voice is uncharacteristically formal as he stands in the commander's office. "A moment?" Brimstone looks up from his tactical display, noting the unusual tension in his controller's stance. "What's on your mind, Harbor?"
"It's about the baker – about her." Varun runs a hand through his hair, leaving it slightly disheveled. "She's lost everything. Her home was above the bakery, her business..."
"I'm aware of the situation."
"She needs somewhere safe. Somewhere protected." Varun straightens his shoulders. "I'm requesting permission to bring her into the compound." Brimstone's eyebrows rise. "That's not a small ask. This is a military facility, not a refugee center."
"She's already cleared for daily access. Has been for over a year." Varun steps forward, placing both hands on Brimstone's desk. "Sir, she's been targeted because of her connection to us. We owe her this."
"We owe a lot of people, Harbor."
"Then let me rephrase." Varun's voice drops lower, more serious than Brimstone has ever heard it. "I'm not leaving her vulnerable. If the compound isn't an option, I'll find somewhere else, but I'll be going with her." Brimstone studies him for a long moment, then sighs. "You're really ready to walk away from Valorant? For a baker?"
"For her? Yes."
Another long pause, then Brimstone's face cracks into a slight smile. "Well, damn, son. Why didn't you lead with that?" He taps something into his display. "I'll have quarters arranged. But Harbor?"
"Sir?"
"She's your responsibility. And if this compromises any missions..."
"It won't," Varun promises, relief flooding his features. "Thank you, sir."
"Don't thank me yet. Wait until you see how the others react to having their favorite baker under the same roof."
Three weeks later, the Valorant compound's kitchen has become your new domain. It's different – sterile and industrial where your bakery was cozy and worn – but you're adapting. The agents help in their own ways: Killjoy upgraded all the ovens, Sage brings you herbs from her garden, and Varun... well, Varun barely leaves your side.
"That's the fourth time you've checked the security feeds," you note, catching him glancing at his tablet again. "Can't be too careful," he mutters. "We still don't know who targeted you."
You set down your rolling pin, wiping flour on your apron. "Varun." "The timing's too convenient. Right after you signed the expanded contract with Valorant—" "Varun." "—and there have been other incidents with our suppliers—"
"VARUN!"
He stops, finally looking at you properly. There's flour in your hair and worry in his eyes, and suddenly you can't stand the distance between you. You cross the kitchen to take his face in your hands. "I'm okay," you tell him firmly. "I'm here, I'm safe, and I'm not going anywhere."
"But your bakery—"
"Was just a building." Your thumb traces his cheekbone, leaving a faint white streak. "Everything that matters – my recipes, my skills, the people I care about – that's all still here. Including this very handsome, very overprotective man who's about to miss out on fresh cardamom cookies if he doesn't stop brooding."
That gets a small smile. "You're making them now?" "Was going to, but someone keeps distracting me with security concerns." "I do not brood," he protests, but his arms slide around your waist. "You absolutely do. Now, are you going to help me bake, or—"
"YO!" Gekko's voice echoes from the doorway. "Is that cardamom I smell? Hook me up!" Varun's grip tightens slightly. "We're closed." "But—" "Closed," Varun repeats, a hint of his controller authority creeping in.
You hide your smile in his chest as Gekko retreats, grumbling about favoritism. "You know they're just going to try stealing them later."
"Let them try." Water ripples briefly around his feet. "These ones are just for us." You reach up to kiss him softly, tasting traces of the cardamom cookie he definitely snuck earlier. "My possessive water bender."
"Your what now?"
"Never mind." You pat his chest, leaving a flour handprint. "Help me with these cookies, and I might make those masala chai scones you love."
Varun knows something is wrong the moment he enters the common area. There's a suspicious lack of agents, for one thing. And there's a familiar sweet-spicy scent in the air that should definitely not be there, because those treats were supposed to be in his quarters, specially made just for him.
He rounds the corner to find Phoenix and Gekko sprawled on the couch, crumbs everywhere, and a very familiar box between them. On the floor lies a discarded note with a cute angry face drawn on it and the words "VARUN'S ONLY" in your handwriting.
"Those," he says, his voice dangerously calm as water begins to pool around his feet, "were mine."
Phoenix freezes mid-bite. "Uh... mate... we can explain..."
"Yoru dared us!" Gekko blurts out, already backing away.
"Wrong answer." The water rises.
Phoenix grabs Gekko's arm. "Run!" Varun's shout echoes through the compound: "GET BACK HERE WITH MY MASALA TREATS!"
You're in the middle of kneading dough when a soaking wet Phoenix and Gekko burst into the kitchen, followed by a very smug-looking Varun.
"Really?" you ask, trying not to laugh at their drenched appearance. "They stole my special box," Varun says, attempting to look dignified despite the satisfaction radiating from him.
"So you turned the common room into a swimming pool?" "They deserved it." He walks over to kiss your flour-dusted cheek. "Those were my treats. You even put a note."
"I'll make you more," you promise, patting his chest. "Though maybe next time I'll label them 'Property of Harbor' with a skull and crossbones."
"That won't stop us!" Gekko declares, then immediately ducks behind Phoenix when Varun turns to glare at him. "Out," Varun commands, pointing to the door. "Both of you. And if I catch you near my treats again..."
They scramble away, leaving puddles in their wake. You turn to face Varun, trying to maintain a stern expression. "You're going to have to mop that up, you know."
He pulls you close, not caring about the flour that transfers to his clothes. "Worth it. Though I am still short one box of special treats."
"Poor baby," you tease, reaching up to smooth his furrowed brow. "How about I make you a fresh batch? With extra cardamom this time?"
His face lights up, then immediately tries to school itself into something more dignified. "If you insist."
You laugh, stretching up to kiss him. "Just try not to flood the compound when Yoru inevitably puts them up to stealing these ones too."
"No promises," he murmurs against your lips, and you can feel his smile. "A man has to defend his territory."
"Your territory being... baked goods?"
"My territory being anything you make specially for me." His arms tighten around you. "I don't share well."
"I've noticed." You pull back just enough to look at him properly. "Now, are you going to help me clean up this flour, or are you too busy plotting revenge against treat thieves?"
"Can't I do both?"
The sound of your laughter mixing with his deep chuckle echoes through the kitchen, and you think that maybe, just maybe, losing your bakery led you exactly where you were meant to be – even if you do have to deal with treat-stealing agents and an overprotective water-wielding boyfriend who turns the compound into a splash park at the slightest provocation.
You wouldn't have it any other way.
#fanfic#valorant fanfiction#valorant x reader#harbor x reader#harbor valorant#harbor#x female reader#x reader fanfiction
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✶⋆.˚ 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐃 — 🇲🇾 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ 𝕎𝔸ℝ𝕊 🇷🇪🇦🇱🇮🇹🇾
❝the force is more than just an energy field, it is a living thing. and like any living thing, it creates. it creates life, energy, creativity. it creates every feeling that rises up in your chest and very spark of inspiration that crosses your mind. it brings breath to your lungs at clarity to your mind. it creates life. it created...you.❞ ❝don't be fooled by those who are petty enough to keep you beneath them, my son. rise. rise like you were always meant to. you are a phoenix, breaking out from your ashes of normativity and being reborn into something more. learn from the jedi, let yourself be teachable, but do not forget where you come from. you are the stars, act like it.❞
✶⋆.˚ EDDI MORTE — THE CHILD OF THE STARS, GREY JEDI he/they transmasc non-binary alban jedi padawan 17 years bisexual
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ❝no one quite knows where he came from. he was brought to the jedi temple with all the other younglings, but he's always been different. he was made a padawan younger than anyone else. he's strong with the force. he's one to be reckoned with on the battlefield. some say he's stronger than the chosen one. some say he's a fraud. but, no one knows the truth.❞
THE PAST & PRESENT
I was born on the remote outer rim planet of alba and raised by my druid mother, who taught me to revere the living force and it's personifications, the gods of mortis. I was given to the jedi early after a dream my mother had. she told me this is where I was destined to be. and I suppose she was right.
training with the other younglings felt so circumstantial. i'd much rather be silent and feel the force on the move. my unconvential methods got me put with an unconventianal master—plo koon.
master plo and I saw eye to eye on many things, however we never did quite agree on the nature of the force. my mother raised me to revere every part of the force—the light and the dark. and having both inside of you made you whole as a person. after all, it was just as unnatural to be whole good as it was to be wholly evil. the rest of the jedi didn't quite share my views, though if I didn't mention it much, they didn't see it as enough of a problem to address.
one person got it, ahsoka tano. she always did understand me better than myself. master skywalker's padawan was just the right kind of reckless to counteract my more thoughtful approach. she pulled me out of my shell and I helped me not walk off of cliffs. we made a perfect duo.
however, as the war continues, I begin to question everything. as well as my place in it. are the jedi truly the keepers of peace? or are they just as corrupt as the enemy they claim to stand against?
the force is at war with itself. the future is clouded.
THE FUTURE
my dissatisfaction with the council and the order leads me to make reckless choices. a boldness I hadn't known before this. I steal a forbidden holocron taken from a sith temple generations ago. this curiosity leads me into the council's crosshairs. instead of backing down, I call out the corruption I see between the jedi and the senate. they do not like that. after a swift trial, I am promptly expelled from the order and exiled from coruscant.
i return to my home planet for a few years before receiving a distress call from ahsoka, whom I'd given my comm for emergencies. however, I can't get through to her. I return to coruscant to find the temple burning. the republic has fallen into darkness, just as I predicted.
I try to search for ahsoka afterwards, praying that she survived. on my search, I end up running into a rogue group of clones who seemed to have survived the fall of the republic and rise of the darkness of the empire. the bad batch, as they call themselves, are looking for safety and a fresh start. I stay with them for awhile, helping where I can until its too dangerous for me to stay with them. I was named an enemy of the republic when I was expelled, there's no way to know what the empire thinks of me now. I do help them find their lost brother before parting ways.
through my travels across the galaxy, I start helping where I can. alba becomes my safe base through all of this. during this time, I start experimenting more with my abilities, tapping into things the jedi never let me touch. it feels good, powerful, however it's quickly overwhelming.
my mother does what she can, however she knows she needs someone to get through to me. and she finds the comm to ahsoka. by some miracle, ahsoka responds and comes to find me. she helps avoid falling too far into something I can't come back from. after seeing her fear, I vow to never let her become fearful like that because of me again.
ahsoka and I hide out on alba for years, reconnecting and starting to walk down the middle grey path together. we use one another for accountability, keeping each other in check to avoid letting what happened to me happen again.
eventually, we do get found and after fighting off the empire's invasion, we both know we have to be back into the fight. we come fulcrum together—the rebel informant.
after a long time of being in the shadows, we join up with the ghost crew. it feels good to be on the front lines again—even if kanan doesn't exactly trust me. I can't blame him though, it can be a bit disconcerting to see someone wield dual sabers—one white and purified and the other red like the sith. however, the blades are perfectly me.
ahsoka's death crushes me and I take awhile to recover from it. however, I stay on with the ghost crew, seeing them like a second family that reminds me of the 104th. finding wolffe makes that memory a reality. and when ahsoka returns, brought back by ezra, I leave to go find her.
we fight with the rebellion for a long time—until the empire is defeated. before we both fix our sights on the last piece of the puzzle—thrawn.
he's got to be out there somewhere. and if he is, then ezra is with him. and we've got to bring him home.
now playing....
foreigner's god — hozier 0:37 ──⚬──── 3:36 ⇆ ◃◃ ıı ▹▹ ↻
next in the 104th battalion queue;
religion — isak danielson when it rains — paramore take me to church — hozier brick by boring brick — paramore the line — twenty one pilots feed the machine — poor man's poison running with the wolves — aurora as the world caves in — matt maltese the news — paramore runaway — aurora
#happy may the 4th!!#a bit late by i figured I'd post this intro in honor#a got a lot of things bouncing around my brain here and not all of them are coherent#but it's my special interest of course my dr lore for it is gonna be complez#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#shifting realities#eddie screams#eddie's drs#shifting community#desired reality#star wars shifting#star wars shifter#star wars dr#the clone wars dr#dr intro#dr introduction
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Princess
Azriel x f!Reader.
One of the series I’m currently working on. Enjoy!
Summary; Reader is Mor’s new friend that she found in the winter court while she was away for business. Y/n has been raised as a princess since her parents wanted to wed her to a noble fae in order to climb the social ranks. When her parents are brutally murdered y/n is left alone without a clue about the harsh reality or the brutality of the world. Mor finds her and takes her back to Velaris afraid of what might happen to her if she was left to live on her own. Will y/n survive the hate she will receive from certain members of the inner circle -including her mate- regarding the way she grew up?
Warnings; angst, mentions of abuse, trauma and death, swearing
Masterlist.
Princess Masterlist.
Chapter 8
How did she know? Does everyone know about the bond? Am I trapped here?
Some people say that the best kind of love is the one that awakens the soul, that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. They are right, that’s the reason why you and Azriel would never work, you didn’t want to reach for more, he planted a fire in your heart, but it wasn’t one that kept you warm, no… it burned your heart to ashes and like a phoenix it rises from them to give him the pleasure of burning it again and again. And peace to your mind? That’s a nice joke.
You kept crying until your body collapsed, pulling you harder against the floor, and your lungs clenched choking you with all your sorrows.
“This monster will always have a claim on you.”
Your blood boiled at the thought, and your body twitched with the need to get as far away as possible, to never look back and if necessary… to end your life so he will never be able to touch you.
You felt soft hands wrapping around you in a warm embrace.
“My sweet girl what did I do to you by bringing you here?” Mor spoke and her eyes watered.
“Its okay” you croaked. “You didn’t know that this would happen.” “Such a kind soul” she whispered and caressed your hair.
“Mor… please help me get out of here… please”.
“Where do you want to go?” she asked.
“Rita’s”
She nodded and got up. You grabbed a bag and filled it with a few clothes making her furrow her eyebrows.
“I’m not leaving Velaris, I will stay with a friend for a while.” You reassured her and she nodded.
You both tiptoed out of the house, and she winnowed you to Rita’s. “Do you want me to come with you?” she asked, and you shook your head.
“I’m fine, thank you for your help. I would really appreciate if you kept this a secret for now.”
“Okay but you will meet me here in three days. I want to make sure that you’re okay.” She spoke.
Make sure that I’m okay or that I didn’t leave? Am I your prisoner? You wanted to scream but the fear of returning to the house of wind choked you and the unspoken words pierced your mind like thousand blades making you flinch.
With a nod you entered the club and almost crawled to the bar, staring at Aeden’s eyes desperately. Your friend immediately read you and jumped over the counter, hugging you tightly and kissing your temple.
“What happened dollface?” he asked.
“I…he..all of them…” you sobbed each word and he shushed you.
“It’s okay… I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
Clover glanced at you worriedly and cocked his head in question making Aeden shake his head. They had a conversation with their eyes and after a nod from Clover your friend grabbed your bags.
“Let’s get you out of here.” He said softly and guided you outside.
You walked down the road and turned right.
“Here” he said and climbed a few steps. The building looked warm and welcoming, just like Aeden and you couldn’t help but smile.
You entered his apartment, and it was just like how you imagined it, cozy and warm, a proof of his friendly character. He immediately placed your bags in a small closet and hurried to the room to change the sheets.
“I don’t want to be a burden…I can go if you want it’s okay” you sniffled.
“Nonsense, you’ll stay here for as long as you need, heck even forever.” He chuckled “But if you decide to stay forever you will pay half the rent.” A breathy laugh left your lips. “Thank you.”
“Well it’s been a while since I had a beautiful female in here so thank you for making me look cool to my neighbors” he winked and finished making the bed.
“I will make something to eat” he stated and walked back into the small kitchen.
You followed him and grabbed his hand “Let me…as a thank you”.
He smiled kindly and nodded, taking a few steps back and sitting on the kitchen table.
“You know we’re going to eat on the same surface that your butt is currently touching” you wrinkled your nose.
“Thank the Mother I washed it today” he feigned a relieved expression and you giggled.
“You’re disgusting”
“I’m letting you stay here, and you treat me like that?” he gasped “You’re such an ungrateful little lady”.
You shook your head with a smile and started exploring the kitchen gathering everything you needed.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
Mor returned to the house of wind and rolled her eyes when she noticed everyone there sitting around the dinner table. She took a seat next to the warlord making Azriel quirk a brow.
“You usually sit here” the shadowsinger spoke.
“And today I’m sitting here.” She scoffed.
“We should wait for y/n before we start eating” Feyre said, and everyone hummed.
Mor lowered her gaze at her plate not wanting them to suspect something.
“I’ll go get her” Rhys said and walked to the hall.
“I don’t think she wants to sit with us.” Cassian spoke.
Rhys froze beneath the arch of the hall. “Why?”
Elain lowered her gaze and Cassian stared at the shadowsinger.
“Az?” Rhys questioned.
“We had a fight, I said some horrible things.” Azriel said with a cold expression.
Nesta scoffed making everyone turn to her. “Oh your quiet and kind spymaster has fucked up everything”
“What do you mean?” Rhys pushed, glaring at his brother.
“He has been spending his nights in Gwyn’s bedroom, lying in bed with her and reading books, my poor friend is completely in love with him, and he is taking advantage of that to feel less lonely. He didn’t even tell her that he has a mate, Emerie told us today. Do you know how bad I feel for them? I told poor y/n the other day that I could see something between the two of them and that he spends his nights with Gwyn as a heads up. I feel so stupid for telling a female something like that about her mate.” Nesta was glaring at Azriel.
“She wants to break the bond” Elain joined the conversation. “And I told Azriel because of a vision I had.” She glanced at Cassian for help.
“He burst into her room…” Cassian’s face flushed with embarrassment for their actions. “Many words were said. He told her that the monster -he will always have a claim on her.”
Azriel stared at the wall across him with a cold expression.
“Are you kidding me?” Rhysand was seething, his night-kissed power trembled the house. “We brought a scared and lost female here to help her find herself and you all treated her like shit?”
Feyre gaped at them, and disappointment flashed in her eyes. “She is such a kind soul…”
“I knew you two had problems, but I never expected this from you.” Rhysand told Azriel.
“She annoys me Rhys. I couldn’t believe that I have such a weak mate. You know how many enemies I have…. If I pursued her, I would put her in danger. Everyone who wants to get to me will target her. So, I decided to let her go but I can’t reject her… you know how faes have gone mad after rejecting the bond.”
“She wants to break it, if she can do that there won’t be any remains to make you go mad” Mor finally spoke.
Azriel shook his head and glanced at Elain “She will die”.
Everyone frowned.
“I saw her dying while breaking the bond… Azriel is strong enough to survive but she isn’t.” Elain informed them “That’s why I told him. I didn’t want to tell her because I’m afraid I will destroy her future, I don’t know how my powers work yet and I’m not willing to test them on her life.”
The High Lord took a deep breath. “Okay we won’t tell her but you will leave her alone. You will either become her friends or just leave her alone. If you can’t do that, me and Feyre will take her to the River House.”
“She enjoys training, I think its best if she stays here. Emerie and Gwyn want to be her friends and I think I want that too.” Nesta shrugged.
“There won’t be a problem with Gwyn?” Feyre quirked a brow.
Nesta snorted “It’s Azriel’s fault, and Gwyn knows it. She actually feels bad for Y/n and herself”.
Azriel nodded “I won’t bother them again”.
“Good I’m going to fetch her and all of you will apologize” Rhysand used his High Lord voice, and everyone nodded.
They remained silent and all snapped their heads to Rhysand when he came back, his face pale.
“What?” Azriel asked and raised from his seat.
“She’s gone” the High Lord mumbled.
“What do you mean gone?” the shadowsinger asked again and sprinted off. He entered your room, his shadows darting away covering every corner of the house.
She’s gone. Some of her clothes are missing too. His shadows whispered and then he felt them piercing his mind.
Idiot. We’re losing her.
Azriel walked into the dining room again, his whole body shaking.
“I’m going to find her” and with that he walked out and jumped from the balcony, his wings stretching wide and his shadows scattering around the city, making it look darker like it was mourning. Mourning a love that never happened.
If I forgot to tag someone please let me know. What do you think?
@glitterypirateduck, @zara-aliza08, @mika-no-sekai-blog , @purpleshoelaces , @act1839 , @fasoaurore , @pinksmellslikelove, @bunnyredgirl, @lectoracronica , @tuggboatfishin, @sunnysideup000 , @blessthepizzaman, @universevsd, @raisinggray, @ssmay123 , @kalulakunundrum, @justasillylittlegoofyguy , @tsunami-of-tears, @just-a-social-casualty-1, @thelov3lybookworm , @saltedcoffeescotch, @justdreamstars , @strangersunghoon , @sosuitcandy , @cat-or-kitten
#acotar#acotar series#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#acotar fanfiction#azriel acotar#a court of thorns and roses#azriel fanfic#azriel angst#acosf#azriel x reader#acowar#acomaf#night court#velaris#rhysand#feyre archeron#a court of silver flames#a court of mist and fury#a court of wings and ruin#the night court#city of starlight#inner circle#cassian acotar#feyre cursebreaker#rhys acotar#mor acotar#the morrigan
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Planets In Aries 🐏
{Astrology Observation}
Hello, beautiful souls!
This is the first time I am sharing my personal observations on astrology. Let me know if you can relate. 🕯️💜
Sun in Aries:
They set your soul on fire while keeping their own desires under control. They know their fire can burn them if they try to light up every flame and lead all the parades. They can be calculative and quiet about their ambitions. Sun is a leader, a king. He knows the game, so he commands. The army is ablaze with aggression and passion by the king's words, but the king remains grounded and stands protected. He comes to the battlefield when only his sword can help win the battle. This person has once been the knight and head of the army. Such people know how the war is supposed to be won.If not evolved: Burnouts, taking responsibility more than one can handle & finding it difficult to follow through on one's soul purpose.
Moon in Aries:
A sudden spark lights within that sheds light on the truth. Before they process it, they end up taking an action on it. Their emotions keep on fluctuating from one intensity to another. The challenge is to alchemize the opposing forces with the Moon representing water and the Aries representing fire. Their blood boils when someone triggers them, but if they make use of the moon to calm themselves down and take a moment before acting, something beautiful will emerge out of their passion & emotions. Such are the painters whose quick & aggressive strokes on the canvas can bring a wave of inspiration to the mind of the viewer. If not with colors, you're still painting your life with actions based on emotions.
Mars in Aries:
They are the rebel with a cause, the soldier who stands at the front and takes the lead. For them, the rule is simple—‘chaos kills chaos.’. Don't take it the wrong way! This doesn't necessarily mean that such people must go brutal against the one bringing trouble. Their challenge is to channel the chaos into their ambition or something productive. Not slowly, but passionately. Their every strike speaks of rawness, of coming undone. The hesitance takes a back seat, and confidence drives their life. It's necessary that they remember their limitations, as they may end up bringing destruction for themselves and for others. Otherwise, if they are in control, nothing can stop them from achieving their goal.
Saturn in Aries:
Saturn loves to take its time, while Aries does not have so much patience. Saturn debilitates in Aries because it's all about discipline, which an Aries person may lack. Such people have a karmic lesson around taking a project till the end and not leaving it midway or half done. Saturn is strict. Aries is the first zodiac sign, and hence such a person needs more guidance than others to understand the cycle of life. Saturn talks about being humble while an Aries person speaks impulsively. Such people are more often than not going through a tug of war. Internally, they are quite diplomatic but may struggle to show it externally.
Venus in Aries:
Such people can burn for what they desire, be it for love or luxuries. For them, love is red. The fire burning within them is uncontrollable. So they might find it difficult to not splurge. The cracks of their heart hold shadows that reveal themselves once they fall in love. As the fire burns, it reveals all that was once hidden. Love transforms them if they are willing to act as a protector. Their touch holds magic. It burns at first and heals later. If they perform on a stage, they'll first recklessly burn and break your heart into ashes only to bring forward a transformative message that rises like a phoenix in the end. They are a witness to the boon & doom of comfort, love, and luxuries. After the burning, are there ashes left or gems? It is a question of intention & the cause behind the act.
Mercury in Aries:
They are too blunt for their own good. Like dragons, they witness everything, but when they speak, others stand cautious and afraid of being burned. They do not even know where the fire is coming from, but it burns their head and stresses their nerves. So they let it all out and yet feel unsatisfied. Such people need to remember that teeth guard the tongue. But if the tongue is uncontrolled, they may end up biting their own tongue. Hence, endurance must be practiced. Remember the lessons of Saturn (rules bones, including teeth) because Mercury is a kid with such a high temper that it can lead to self-destructive speech. Out of curiosity, they may end up saying things they may regret later. If one deals with this energy the right way, such people can be great debaters and spontaneous speakers. They are so confident and loud that at times they may not have facts correct, yet it will seem otherwise.
Jupiter in Aries:
Jupiter expands. Jupiter gives more space to take the lead with confidence. Such a person is always excited to learn about different subjects and enhance his/her wisdom. They are always ready to go on a new adventure and learn something that can only be learned through experience. Once they get their hands on an ancient wisdom, they'll be the first one to apply it in their lives and share it with others. They can make anything huge or large-scale with their determination and passion.
#astrology#astrology observations#aries#moon in aries#saturn in aries#venus in aries#zodiac posts#mercury in aries#mars in aries#astrology on tumblr#zodiac
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My mother has destroyed my soul and spirit my mind is fighting to not be destroyed by her too.
My mother turned into a monster due to others monstrosity and her own valid constant fight to stay alive with full mind and body and spirit. Her family drained her and killed her mind and body for three decades. We are in the third decade and she has resisted and fought to not become them but she has failed in the most challenging of times for her only child a grown daughter who would give her self to make mom happy. No more. I choose me. I will honor the mother that raised me and loved me by giving myself the best top quality of life I can give myself through the guidance and light of God. She is not the mother that cared and raised me and loved and liked to spend the healthily boundaries time as family. She is a woman destroyed by Ethiopian blood and relatives and countrymen who killed hers and my present and future. And she let them. She continues to while gaslighting me saying she is not.
She sunk her mother turned monster teeth into my neck and infected me with everything she taught me to not do or be. All bc of her own misery all because I didn’t stay off of the fucking bus when I got off like Tony Soprano says to Dr. Merino.
I’ve taken the teeth out and am draining and cleansing myself of the poison that she let off in my blood in my veins. As I boil and lose and hurt I will burn and turn into ashes and rise from those ashes like a phoenix with my own wings my own voice my own guts my own mind my own blood my own grace my own integrity my own faith my own autonomy and sovereignty cleansed and protected from my mother, her family, her country, her people, her community and her projected shit.
I do not blame my mother for a single thing. I am grateful and peacefully remove myself from her as our relationship stands. I give her empathy and prayer to meet again with love, respect, and acceptance as I am and as I cont. to grow as I extend that to her yesterday, today and tmw. But I will not repeat her mistakes. I will not sacrifice myself for my family. Never. Ever. I choose me. I will not be or end up like my mother or her family. I will not be or end up like my father. Thank you God for making me a latch-key kid. Hindsight turns out is everything.
May we get to and through Easter peacefully, prayerfully and safely, and may I survive and exit the christening from people who do not care for her or me but are from the same goddamn country and village she forced me to attend without asking my availability and then gaslight me about it. They are her people not mine and that is okay, do not drag me down with you. And yet it will be the final time I cower to her.
April 27th, 2025 6pm is the last day her 5 year poison will course through my veins. I will continue to cleanse myself of her poison. I pray she cleanses herself of it as well.
May is mine and henceforth everyday after will be my own life living as a gift not as war. Thank you God in advance. I pray for patience, strength, empathy, courage, and grace.
My mom was the best. Her true spirit and soul is under the rubble of being crushed all her life despite getting back up again. She can no longer keep getting back up. It has made her unkind and resentful and her guilt and regret I s manifesting in the most heartbreaking ways. I can no longer be the punching bag. I can no longer give her power over my life so she can feel in control of her own.
I need to salvage my mind and resurrect my spirit and soul. This Easter weekend I pray I do so in a reflective rejuvenating way removing all reaction and negativity.
I am never alone despite my whole life as an only child latch key kid. My mother before her family destroyed her instilled a sincere spiritual faith in me, directly and indirectly. God has always been with me through my heart my spirit my soul God spent time with me protected me kicked it with me put me on to the best of everything. God is and was my brother my father my sister my aunt my uncle my grandma my grandpa my mother when she was sick or in the hospital or working nights. My mom showed me God and for that I am forever grateful and blessed. No matter what she says now. Thank you mom.
I hope to meet and be with my mom in a healthy way where we’ve grown and gotten better. I pray one day when we are still able. I will invite her to my home that is mine that I share with a love of my life and I can have her rest and relax in my front room making her traditional Ethiopian coffee as she shows me trips she took to Morocco or the new farm land she purchased in Gondar with a good man who treats her with respect and romance and regal like she deserves. She can rest her head on my lap and we can tell each other how happy we are that those har heartbreaking times are in the past and that our present is so much bette. I pray to God that one day that can happen. I have faith it will as I cry bc my God too much has happened, we can’t fall and be buried by this after fighting and working so hard to get this far. Please God. I will do whatever it takes in my power to make that happen. I pledge allegiance to myself and God and the communities that I belong to and belong to me.
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RISE FROM THE ASHES 7/? (Alexia AU)
(Sorry, there won't be any drawing in this one)
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February 22, 09h34 – District Court, Defendants' lobby No. 2
Lana stands in the center of the lobby when Alexia and Ema arrived. Her face is expectant.
"How was the investigation yesterday, Ms. Fey?" Lana asks.
The young girl shakes her head slowly. "Frankly, there are still many... gray areas.
"Or rather, this is all a big gray area..." Ema snaps.
The Chief Prosecutor shrugs, not the slightest trace of concern on her face. "Don't worry about me, no matter the outcome. I am ready to accept my fate."
"I believe in you, sister!" Ema says, determined.
"Let me offer you some advice, Ms. Fey." Lana says crossing her arms. "A defense attorney should never ‘believe’ his client.”
Ema recoils as if she had been burned.
"The defendant is called to trial because they are suspected of having committed a crime! Never forget that." Lana says serious.
Alexia stares at her, unfazed by the prosecutor's words. "Miss Skye, you... you remind me a lot of Mia. But there is a decisive difference between you and her."
"Which is?" Lana asks intrigued.
"You're not a defense attorney." Alexia says hardening her gaze. "So, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t underestimate Mia's vision without ever having been in her shoes. And especially if you're the one saying it..."
Lana looks away, with an expression on her face that Alexia couldn't place. "I think it's almost time for trial. Good luck, Ms. Fey."
With that said, she enters the courtroom to go to the defendant's place.
"(My first trial as head of the defense... without Lady Maya helping me with Lady Mia, and without Phoenix to take the lead when I get knocked down... No one is going to rescue me this time... I'll be alone there... So, I have to find out the truth on my own!)" Alexia thinks with some nerves.
"Let's do this, Miss Fey! I'll be with you all the way!" Ema says excitedly.
Alexia looks at her out of the corner of her eye and shows her a half-smile. "Thank you, Kitten. Since it is very likely that he needs a lot of moral support..."
Ema looks at her with curiosity and confusion.
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February 23, 10:00 a.m. – District Court, Courtroom No. 2
They are all in the courtroom. Ema is next to Alexia on the defense side. The audience that will watch the trial is in the gallery. Lana is seated primly in the defendant's chair, almost statuesque. In front of the two girls, Miles is crossed with his arms crossed, tapping his finger on his arm. The judge sits high above all of them and hits his gravel.
"The court is now in session for the trial of Ms. Lana Skye." The Judge announces.
Alexia nods her head. "The defense is ready, your honor."
Edgeworth looks up. "The prosecution has been ready for a while, your honor."
"(Miles Edgeworth... It's been two months, but I haven't been in a courtroom since his trial...)” Alexia thinks nervously.
Edgeworth turns to look at her. "I hope personal feelings are not part of today's process, Ms. Fey."
"What do you mean by that?" Alexia asks, with a snort.
In response, he taps the side of his head with his finger. "I will choose the path that I believe is right, regardless of what those around me say. The judgment to be taken here is in our hands, not anyone else's."
Alexia sighs, to calm down. "Yes, I hope it is like that too..."
"Very good, if both parties are ready. Mr. Edgeworth, your opening argument, please." Says the Judge.
Edgeworth stares at Lana. "Chief prosecutor Lana Skye has committed an unforgivable crime. Not only this, but she was reckless enough to commit it in the parking lot of the Prosecutor's Office!"
Ema adjusts her coat. "Wow... It's much more forceful in person. I suddenly feel like confessing everything!"
Alexia rolls her eyes at that.
"However." Everyone is looking at Edgeworth. "Now she will pay with his life for her recklessness. There was a witness to her crime... A "professional" witness!"
The Judge applauds. "Well then, call your first witness, Mr. Edgeworth!"
"The prosecution calls its first witness, Ms. Angel Starr, to the stand." Edgeworth reports.
"The Deep Throat Queen..." Alexia mutters to herself. Ema looks at her confused, so the lawyer only makes a gesture to ignore her comment.
Moments later, on the witness stand, Angel appears as alert as ever, leaning over her lunch bag.
The Judge raises an eyebrow at her. "Hmm? Haven't I seen you somewhere...?"
Angel brings out a lunch. "You ordered the Caviar Lunch, right?"
"Ho ho!" He practically jumped when she handed it to him. "Caviar! I've never eaten caviar before!"
Alexia only limits herself to looking at the one who is supposed to be the moderator of that trial. "(The judge is really devouring it...)"
Then Angel turns to the defense. "Oh, and for you... I have a Fiesta Bowl."
"Eh... Thank you, I guess..." Alexia says, while the witness left the bento on her table. Actually, it doesn’t look bad. And yesterday's lunches weren’t bad at all. "Do you want some too, Kitten?"
"Oh, okay." Ema says smiling.
Edgeworth now decides to speak. "Will the witness give her name and profession?"
Alexia is absolutely sure that she heard him, but instead she continues with her lunchbox act. "Ah, and you sir... Did you ask for the ‘Fingerprint” lunch box?"
"Woah! ' ow di' she arang' de content of de bosh li'e dat?!" Ema asks, still with her mouth full.
"Kitten, don't talk with your mouth full." Alexia scolds.
Of course, a certain prosecutor was not impressed. And we are not talking about Lana, who has rolled her eyes at least twice during this event.
"It's too early for lunch." Edgeworth says impatiently. "Your name and profession, please."
Once again, Angel ignores him. Instead, she addresses the judge. "Well, your honor, what does it taste like?"
"That's why everyone praises caviar! It's so tasty it hurts! I always thought caviar would taste like pickled tapioca." The Judge responds.
Angel laughs. "I think it's safe to say you’re enjoying it."
"(How disgusting!! What the hell does pickled tapioca taste like!?)” Alexia thought horrified.
A bang echoed through the room. The eyes pointed to where it came. Edgeworth's eyes were narrowed. Between his teeth, he says: "Name. Profession. Now!"
Angel blinks innocently. "Me? My name is Angel Starr. Don't forget. I'm currently running Lunchland." She grabs her lunch bag. "Is it... Is that what you wanted me to say, Mr. Edgeworth?
The prosecutor rolls his eyes before continuing. "Very well, witness. Please describe the incident to us.”
"The prosecution will wait!" The Judge exclaims, redirecting attention to him. "I haven't finished eating..."
"(Hurry up! Even we didn't finish my lunch, which was much bigger than his.)" Alexia thinks desperately.
"Mmmm..." The judge buzzes, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his robe.
"Kitten, write down; "Note to self: To become an authority of the law, table manners are not an obligation to have"." Alexia murmurs. Ema, obediently, writes in her notebook.
"Very well, Mr. Edgeworth. As you know, we usually call the police to provide a description of the crime..." The Judge says intrigued. "What is the reason for this change?"
"Your Honor, may I?" Angel tilts her head toward Miles. "As Mr. Edgeworth has said in court ... I'm a... "professional"."
"Eh... Huh? What does that mean exactly?" the judge asks, curious.
"It means that until two years ago, Ms. Angel Starr was a special investigator for the police," Edgeworth explains. "She was a top-notch homicide detective."
"W-whaaaaaat!? Ms. Starr was a detective!?" Ema says surprised.
Alexia nods, unsure. "That seems to be."
"Aaaaah! That's why I recognized you!!" The Judge is shouting a lot today "Cough-up...!?"
Angel smiles. "Cough-up Queen Angel Starr, your honor. Long time no see."
"V-v-very good! You can continue with the description, Miss Starr!" Says the Judge.
"Who is this woman?" Alexia murmurs angrily.
Angel snaps his fingers to get attention. "If you’ll allow me to bring the court's attention over here... The parking lot of the Prosecutor's Office is divided into two blocks. Block A is for the staff of the Prosecutor's Office. Block B is for visitors and clients... A barbed wire wall separates the two blocks.
She pulls out some blueprints of the lot for all to see.

The Judge reflects on this. "I guess that's to prevent visitors from occupying the prosecutors' spaces."
"The crime was committed near a car in the back of Block A, in the trunk of the car." Angel points to the only car in the plans that is defined. "The murderer stabbed the victim with a knife and went to remove the body. Unfortunately for her, there was a witness and an arrest occurred on the spot."
"And who was this brave 'witness'...?" The Judge asks.
"Well, it was me, Your Honor." Angel replies proudly.
Parking floor plans added to the Court Record.
"Witness, did you see the very moment of the crime?" The Judge asks.
"Of course, your honor," Angel replies as he walks back to the podium. "Immediately afterwards I arrested the chief prosecutor."
"Hmm..." The Judge buzzes as he glances sideways at the girls. "Sounds like a pretty simple case, doesn't it? Well, Ms. Fey."
Alexia shakes her head. "I cannot agree on principle, your honor."
Angel snorts. "It seems that some poor souls are unwilling to accept the truth, your honor. Should I proceed to crush what few hopes they have left?"
The Judge slams his fist against his open hand. "If you can, then give them your worst, Miss Starr!"
"Tsk, what a way to be impartial, your honor." Alexia growls, annoyed.
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Beginning of Witness testimony – Angel Starr's Statement, Witness's Account
"I always knew that this moment would come. I was on my way to deliver lunch to my boyfriend... When I felt something... Perhaps it was my fine police instinct, which got to work. Then, through the fence, I saw the chief prosecutor next to a very garish car. The chief prosecutor had a knife in her right hand... Then she stick the sharp point of the knife into Detective Goodman's chest!"
End of Witness testimony – Angel Starr's Statement, Witness's Account
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"Hmm... Bring your boyfriend a lunchbox? How touching!" The judge is almost enthusiastic.
Alexia is so eager to slam her palm against her forehead right now.
Miles, as always, is unfazed. "As you can see, there is no room for doubt."
Angel smiles at the defense now. "So... how does it feel to be so completely crushed?"
“… I reserve my comments..." Alexia murmurs frowning.
"It's just a fresh wound, Miss Fey!" says Ema.
"I know that. Anything else?" Alexia murmurs volleying her to see.
"Well, scientifically speaking... Ms. Starr's testimony..." Ema says thoughtfully before sighing depressively. “… it's perfect."
"Well, that's great to hear..." Alexia growls angrily.
"W-what do we do!? Is this all? Is my sister guilty!?" Ema says desperately.
"Let's keep a cool head and put some pressure on the witness, shall we?" Alexia says, with seriousness in her voice. "(For some reason, having her panicking next to me puts me at ease a bit...)"
"D-don't smile like that!" Ema says blushing.
"All right, you can cross-examine the witness, Ms. Fey," the judge says.
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Beginning of Cross-Examination – Angel Starr's Statement, Witness's Account
"How were you so sure that a day like this would come?" Alexia asks.
Angel snorts. "I respect prosecutors' basic abhorrence of crime. However, their methods are ugly and twisted. Twisted methods will always lead to tragedy."
Miles rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "The uninformed opinion of the lunch lady is noted."
She looks at him. "Since they're used to erasing inconvenient evidence at will, killing a detective who knew too much is simply an extension of that."
This time, Edgeworth says nothing. So, Ema is the one who speaks.
"Miss Starr... do you have anything personal against the prosecutors?" She asks.
"Ah, I think I already answered that for you, did I? No matter, I can answer again." Angel says as she fiddles with the strap of her purse, her hair on the other side of her head. "I felt like I had found my dream job when I became a detective. And if those prosecutors over there hadn't fired me, I would still be."
"So, it's true. She was fired. But why?" Alexia mutters to herself.
"To me, prosecutors are nothing more than worms." Angel shrugs. "That said, I'm a professional, as you know. My testimony is unbiased... and impeccable."
Alexia clicks her tongue. "(Impartial? Definitely not. Impeccable? We'll see.)" she leans against the table. "Which boyfriend was he? The detective?"
"Ms. Fey!" Ema says scandalized.
"What? A person who has multiple partners does not deserve to have their privacy respected." Alexia murmurs with a frown. "What's more, write down what I said in your notebook."
Angel seems unperturbed by this. "It wasn’t that boyfriend. It was the security guard."
"Do you have more than one?" The judge, on the other hand, is surprised.
"Yes." She taps her fingers. "'This' boyfriend, 'that' boyfriend and 'the other' boyfriend. Want to join? The position of 'another' boyfriend is still open for applicants."
It takes him a little while to say something. "I'll keep lunch, thank you."
"Note to self: The judge thought about it before answering," says Ema, as she writes in her notebook.
"The security guard's room is on the lot, in Block A." Angel touches the area marked "Security Room". "It's on the second level, so you can see everything from there."
"Did you bring your lunch boxes in a car?" Alexia asks.
She nods. "However, I had to walk the rest of the way. I'm technically a visitor now, so I parked in Block B."
"Good. We remember her car through the fence. So, she was in Block B when she witnessed the crime." Alexia murmurs, before asking. "So, did you have a premonition? You mentioned that you felt something."
"It felt like... how would you say... Oh yes... it was like the feeling you get when you see a pumpkin full of seeds!" Angel replies with a nice smile.
The judge looks at Angel, confused. "I have no idea what that means."
"(Anyone does??)" Alexia thought angrily, "Speaking of 'detective instincts'... Wasn't the victim, Mr. Bruce Goodman, also a detective?"
"Yes. But it was a young cheese." Angel answers.
"What does that mean...?" asks His Honor.
"(Angel, you're confusing him!)" Alexia exclaims in her mind, frustrated.
"A pale white cheese, not yet spicy from the experience on the streets. A rookie." Angel explains.
"Hmm... I, of course, am hard, yellowish, sharp as a tack." The Judge says, proudly.
Alexia shakes her head. "Sharp?"
"I bet he stinks, too," Ema says mockingly.
Even if Edgeworth didn't say it out loud. He would like to be as young as our protagonists to be able to say that kind of things more often.
"Anyway, by 'very garish car' you mean Mr. Edgeworth's, right?" Alexia asks.
Angel nods. "Yes."
"Wait, was it in Mr. Edgeworth's car?!" the judge exclaims.
"That's right. By the way, the knife with which the victim was stabbed was also Mr. Edgeworth's." Angel adds as his gaze rests on Miles. "Wasn't it?"
"Indeed, it was." Miles seems a little awkward, something you'd miss if you weren't staring at him.
"Hmm!" says the judge. "What a strange case this is. And the person who saw... are you sure it was the accused?"
Angel raises his right hand. "I saw her from no more than ten meters away. I'm sure it was her."
"(If she's right, we're doomed!)" Alexia thinks nervously.
"Do what you can!" says Ema. "Even if we don't have any proof, we can always complain!"
"It's called being picky!" Alexia corrects her. "(Although it's not like I have any other options to get out of this...)" Are you not a biased witness? In your testimony, you clearly stated that prosecutors are nothing more than worms..."
Angel stares at her. "Maybe you want to keep those silly opinions to yourself in the future, rookie."
"They are not mere opinions, when I can back up my words." Alexia responds by crossing her arms.
"Are you willing to risk the consequences of doubting me? I'll fry you like a fritter! Crispy on the outside..." She hits the bracket. "Chewy inside!!"
"Inspiring!" The judge might well have stars in his eyes.
Ema taps her pencil on the side of her head. "I think I've heard that slogan in other places... could you say plagiarism?"
"What would be the point of doing that, Kitten?" Alexia asked, rolling her eyes.
"I may be relegated to the humble position of luncheon... but my instincts are fine-tuned!" Angel exclaims as he holds something over his head. "Feast your eyes on this!"
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"A photograph! You took this!?" the judge asks.
The defense can't help but look at it. "(How did she get this?)" Alexia thinks starting to sweat.
"The moment I witnessed the crime, my reflexes took over and shot up! I took a photograph. In fact…" She holds out another box. "One of my lunch boxes has a camera."
"(How do you know which lunch boxes to have at any given moment? Then again, I guess that's more exciting than just hanging a camera around your neck.)" Alexia reasons.
Miles stares at him. "Why am I seeing this now?"
"Ha!" Angel says. "As if I was going to show it to a prosecutor! Think again."
Of course, that answer takes Edgeworth by surprise.
"I have a boyfriend in the photography division of Criminal Affairs." Angel reveals, as if nothing had happened.
"This lady has a boyfriend everywhere!" Ema says shocked.
"Do you see why I call her 'Deep Throat'?" Alexia murmurs annoyed.
The judge nods. "Well... this is surely the accused!"
Photo of the crime added to the court record.
Angel places it on the left side of the shots.
"Okay, tell us about the knife," Alexia asks massaging her temple.
"I would say the blade was about 10 centimeters long." The Choking Queen turns to Miles. "Is that so, Mr. Edgeworth? After all, it's his knife."
He sighs. "Yes, that's right."
"Prosecutors, by nature, know well the location of a man's vital organs." He takes a lunch box and spins it on his fingernail. "I'm sure it was easier than boiling an egg for my surprise egg salad set."
Alexia grimaces. "How can you testify to her ability to kill an egg... *Cough* I mean, a person!"
"Maybe a set of chicken salad would have been a better metaphor?" Ema comments before exclaiming, "Is there any chance we can get one?"
Alexia looks at her, with a drop of sweat. Angel throws them a specific lunch box anyway.
Alexia catches it and passes on to the scientist. "Why didn’t you try to stop her?" She asks. "You saw her raise the knife, right?"
"I tried..." His face becomes somber. "But it was too late to do anything. She had already put down the murder weapon!"
"And did you witness that? Did you see Miss Skye stab the victim with the knife?" Alexia questions.
The lunch lady is getting frustrated. "Yes! I swear by my best lunch ever 'Salmon Swirl'!" She quickly brings it up. "How many times do I have to say it?!"
"Hmm!! I'm sure it's a good lunch!" says the judge. She throws it at him.
Before Alexia can speak, Ema beats her to it: "This is weird." The girl says, as she walks to the evidence desk and takes the photo. "If you took this at the very moment of the crime, why is my sister here without a knife?"
Angel and Miles stare at her. Just like Alexia, who turned pale, when she knew where Ema was going to get into.
The Judge is the one who must break the silence. He clears his throat. "Mr. Edgeworth, Miss Fey, what do you think of what little Skye just talked about?"
He says one thing. "Objection.", in the most normal tone in the world.
"OBJECTION!!" Alexia exclaims at the top of her lungs, pushing Edgeworth back for catching him by surprise. "The witness's statement contradicts in its entirety the photo that Ema is currently showing! Because she said she took the photo 'at the moment' when she witnessed the crime!"
Angel shrugs. "Well, it seems that it was not so clear. My apologies."
In the silence that was created by what the witness said, Alexia rushes out to take Ema's hand and immediately returns her to her side. "For God's sake, don't do that again! I don't think I've bluffed that much in my life!"
Ema lowers her gaze, "I'm sorry..."
"Before speaking, please. Tell me what's on your mind first, and then I'll see if I'll let you continue with your idea." Alexia murmurs exhaling.
"Is that all...?" Edgeworth asks the witness, "Is that all you have to say?"
She snorts. "If you run out of lunch, you ask for a few seconds. Problem solved! If you don't like it, try ordering the jumbo lunch from the start."
"I'm not sure I understand it, but it's good advice," says Ema, wanting to do comedy. Alexia just snorts.
Angel continues, stomping his heels. "I didn't have time to stop her. Prosecutor Skye was cold, calculating, like a robot. He killed without pain or remorse! It was a premeditated murder!"
"Wait, wait, wait!" Alexia put her hands in the air. "Where did you get that?!"
"Look at Ms. Skye's hands in the photo," Miles says.
"Let me see the picture, Mr. Edgeworth." The prosecutor proceeds to show the photo to the judge. "Wait! Are those gloves?"
"Whaaaaaat?!" Alexia exclaims, snatching the photo from them to see. "(. . . Yes, there are dark gloves on Lana's hands . . .)"
Miles walks away. "Most likely, they are surgical gloves made of thin rubber. Why would she wear them?" Before Fey could speak, he continues. "If it hadn't been premeditated, she wouldn't be wearing those gloves!"
"Ah!" Ema shudders. Alexia looked at the prosecutor, nervously reflected in her eyes.
"These gloves seem to tell a story of premeditation!" declares the judge.
Angel nods. "A felony."
"Update your testimonial by adding this!" The Judge demands.
"With pleasure." Angel says with a beautiful smile.
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The statement "was a premeditated crime! Rubber gloves prove it!" was added between the statements "The Chief prosecutor had a knife in her right hand..." and "Stuck the sharp point of the knife into Detective Goodman's chest!"
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"This is bad... She has made them think that this was all premeditated... If she manages to prove this claim, the trial is already over! We have to think of a way to prove that this was not premeditated!" Ema says desperately.
"I know, I know... I think I know how I can prove that it wasn't premeditated." Alexia murmurs
"Really?!" Ema says surprised.
"Well, it won't work to cease suspicions about Lana, but it will work to get a few more minutes of trial..." Alexia murmurs.
"Of course, go ahead!" Ema exclaims excitedly.
End of Cross-Examination – Angel Starr's Statement, Witness's Account
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"Miss Starr?" Alexia says as she pulls out a certain red knife. "Do you know what this is?"
Angel, annoyed, gestures outwards. "Are you trying to test me? I make a living selling box lunch, you know? That's a knife. THE knife. The knife that was in Mr. Edgeworth's trunk!"
"That's right, that's my knife." Miles replies looking up. "But I still don't understand what your point is, Miss Fey"
In the audience, people are talking again.
"What's up with this case?!"
"The murder weapon with blood, a red car... all belonging to the prosecutor over there?!"
"The defendant is the chief prosecutor, right?"
"Mommy, are prosecutors bad people?"
"This is my point." Alexia looks at them. "you say the gloves mean the crime was premeditated. Okay, then, let me ask you a question." Then she points to Lana's photo. "If wearing gloves is a sign that she planned to commit the crime beforehand, why didn't she also plan the weapon to commit it?!"
The lady at lunch is quiet. "Oh..."
"What do you think Lana would have done if the knife wasn't in the car?" asks Alexia. "You don't forget the murder weapon when you plan an assassination!"
"Yuck!" Angel throws some of his lunches into the air.
As the judge tries to calm the gallery, Ema begins to celebrate a little.
"Good show, Miss Fey!" says Ema. "My sister is practically free!"
"HOLD IT!" snorts Miles. "I think the next lunch Miss Skye will eat is a humbling cake!"
Ema does her best to calm herself down, and then asks, "Why?"
"You’re deluding yourself into thinking that 'the tide has turned'. And for such an insignificant detail, no less!" Edgeworth exclaims.
"Doesn't this blow a hole in all that premeditated theory?" asks Ema.
"Yes, it does. But that's why I said my argument would only work to buy time. For what Lana is being charged with is not "Planning and Perpetrating the Murder of Goodman," but only "Perpetrating the Murder of Goodman." Alexia explains in a cold sweat. "So Lana is still in the same place..."
"I don't think I could have explained better. As Miss Fey said, the prosecution wouldn't care less about that." Miles says before gesturing. "The only one who seems to care is the lunch lady over there."
Angel is currently sweating. His face is twisted with anger.
Miles continues. "The defendant, Lana Skye, murdered a detective with a knife. That's all the prosecution needs to prove. Nothing more."
A slow applause sounds in the room. And it comes from our resident Cough-up Queen. "Very well, Mr. Prosecutor," he says, "I suppose you think you're clever now. But you know as well as I do that she planned to kill him! It was planned! If it wasn't, why should it do so while wearing..."
The judge interrupts her. "I think I'd like to hear your testimony again."
"Witness." Miles moves a finger. "Tell us what you saw, not what you thought."
"How dare you!" she snaps. "My powers of deduction should not be underestimated!"
Alexia shakes her head slowly. "Are you sure not?"
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Beginning of Witness Testimony – Angel Starr's Statement, Angel's Deduction
"Lana Skye intended to murder Inspector Goodman! That is why he made the victim go to the prosecutor's office. I am sure that the chief prosecutor had some debt to settle with the victim. Nothing else could have prompted her to stick the knife again and again..."
End of Witness Testimony – Angel Starr's Statement, Angel's Deduction
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"Was the victim summoned from the Police Department to the District Prosecutor's Office?" the judge asks. "Sounds a lot like premeditation, doesn't it?"
Ema grimaces. "If I order pizza, does that mean I plan to kill the delivery man?"
He doesn't respond to that. "In any case, the defense can now cross-examine the witness."
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Beginning Cross-Examination – Angel Starr's Statement, Angel's Deduction
"Okay, I think it's better to make this clear right now. And that's you have no evidence that Ms. Skye called Goodman to the prosecutor's parking lot." Alexia says without mincing words.
"You have no proof that she didn't!" Angel answers. "Prove that it is not like that!"
Alexia shakes her head. "You are the one who is proposing this possibility. So it is you who must back up your argument with evidence, not me."
The lunch lady just grunts in annoyance.
"What do you think, Mr. Edgeworth?" the judge asks.
Miles shakes his head. "There is no record of a call made on the defendant's phone. So the argument of the defense is sustained."
"She could have written a letter!" Angel suggests.
Alexia rolls her eyes. "How do you come to propose a letter without even proposing a public phone first?"
"In any case, the detective ended there. That's undeniable," says Miles. "Go ahead with cross-examination."
Alexia sighs before asking, "A debt to settle? What kind?"
Angel shrugs. "I don't know."
"Of course not," Ema snaps. "There's not even one here."
She pulls out a lunch box. "What's in here?"
"How would we know? It's closed." Ema murmurs annoyed.
"Exactly. We agree that there is a lunch box here, but we don't know what's inside! A person's life is like a lunch box with pretzels. Don't you agree?" Angel explains.
Alexia grimaces. "Why pretzels?"
"I get it!" says the judge. "That's why my lunch was so salty!"
"It's clear that he doesn't get it," says Alexia. "Anyway. How many times did she stab him? You say 'over and over again'..."
Angel snorts. "What difference does it make if the act is done!?"
"Calm, calm. There's no need to get so defensive." Alexia says with a small smile. "I'm just asking because I find that pretty weird."
"And why is that?" The Judge questions intrigued.
"Can you give me the autopsy report, Kitten?" Ask for Alexia. The little scientist passes it on. "Miss Starr, there's no way you witnessed this repeated stabbing you claim!"
The next lunch box that Angel opens is completely green inside. "Don't test me! Surprise moss on the way, rookie!!"
It looked like Miles was going to say something, but he was interrupted by a knock that the lawyer was giving to her desk. "Unfortunately, that moss grows under our feet while we wait."
"Why?!" asks Angel, lowering the box.
"What do you figure?" says the judge.
She walks to the stand as she speaks. "The autopsy report indicates that the death was due to blood loss... for ONE stab wound."
Angel jumps shocked.
"Ah, ha! You’re right! Nice show, Miss Fey!" The Judge alleges.
"Great, Miss Fey!" Ema faints. "I'll become your fan, really!"
Alexia blushes slightly. "Oh, uh, thank you..."
"Well, witness?" The judge looks at Angel.
She shows another lunch box, this one with a fork pointing upwards and something red forming a puddle around it. "You have the crime scene set, right?"
"What's that?" Ema looks at the box. "Kepchup?"
"I always believed that no one could mistake ketchup for blood." Angel puts lunch on the table. "But now I realize that those mistakes are possible."
Miles grimaces. "Did you mistake something for blood?"
"Yes." Angel takes the hat off his head and scratches it. "When she raised his knife, I thought I saw blood on her chest... blood splattered from her victim! That's why I thought she must have stabbed him at least twice."
"Then tell us what you saw, and thought was blood! Testify!" the judge demands.
She sighs before speaking. "Okay, Your Honor."
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The statement "Her red scarf of the brand "Scapa" looked like blood to me... That's how dreadful the whole scene was!" was added at the end of the testimony."
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"You mean her scarf, right?" Alexia asks.
Angel nods in confirmation. "Yes. The Chief prosecutor always wears one around her neck. So I guess you can easily hang it up at any time..."
"How did you mistake that for splattered blood?" asks Miles in disbelief.
Angel doesn't say anything, so the judge does. "Well, people often mistake my beard for a bib."
"I was already wondering why this place sometimes looks so much like a kindergarten." Alexia murmurs with a drop of sweat.
The lady at lunch looks to the side. "Actually... I do think I saw some traces of blood on her chest..."
"However, the autopsy report is clear about this." Alexia remembers, with the report in her hand. "There was only one knife wound. How would the blood have gotten there?"
Angel is silent again. She is not even entirely sure of her own testimony.
"This is our chance!!" says Ema.
"Yes, I think I can do something with this..." Alexia murmurs, taking the photo of the crime.
End of Cross-Examination – Angel Starr's Statement, Angel's Reasoning
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"Ms. Starr. Without the intention of offending, I don't think you’re fit for detective work anymore." Alexia says seriously.
Before Angel could say anything, Fey continued talking. "Look at this. The suspect was not wearing a scarf when she allegedly stabbed the victim. You proved it yourself with this."
"Huh?! That can't be!" Angel screams.
Miles shakes his head. "Hmph. Only a 'true professional' could be so clueless. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll be a good lunch lady. ".
The lady at lunch, of course, is agitated.
"Harsh words! But good!" says the judge.
Ema raises a fist in the air. "Look at that! Mr. Edgeworth prevails!"
Alexia folds her arms. "That comment was savage; I have to give it to him."
"I swear!" Angel begs. "There was something red there! Really!"
Miles taps his hand. "You have given us an entertaining interlude; Now let's get back to the matter."
"Hey!" Angel exclaims annoyed.
"In any case," the judge says, "you saw the crime and arrested the suspect ... tell us."
She wrings her hands. "Very good. At least I remember some things accurately."
"We haven't gotten rid of the important part yet." Alexia says, somewhat tired.
Ema asks, "What would that be?"
"The part where your sister apparently stabbed the victim!" Alexia says, frustrated. "And for a change, I'm learning as I go!"
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Beginning of Witness Testimony – Angel Starr's Statement, Apprehending the Suspect
"After the crime, the suspect tried to flee behind the division of her area. I caught her quickly, read her rights, and arrested her instantly. Ah, yes... When I arrested her, she mentioned the muffer! That's why I got confused in my previous testimony! Chief prosecutor tried to run away, but it's useless to resist Angel Starr!"
End of Witness Testimony – Angel Starr's Statement, Apprehending the Suspect
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"You're very determined about this scarf, aren't you?" the judge asks.
She shrugs. "I trike like a snake and bit like a cobra! That's me, Angel Starr."
Alexia rolls her eyes. "Cobras are snakes, Ms. Starr. Please try again."
Her hand taps her hat, which she left on the stand. "Don't bother me with details, unless you want to be bitten!"
"Go ahead, I invited you to try..." Alexia growls, squinting.
"Note to self: Attorney Fey looks scared when she’s bother..." Ema says as she writes, annoying Alexia a little.
"Keep it up and I'll force you to give your notebook to Maya." Alexia threatens, confusing Ema.
Ema tilts her head, confused. "Who is Maya?"
"Someone you wouldn't want to leave your notebook with. So don't tempt me." Alexia murmurs angrily.
"The chief prosecutor tried to resist, but her efforts were in vain. He hit my hands, kicked a drum of oil..." In this last part, Angel takes a step back and kicks high to prove his point.
"How does she kick so high, and in that dress?" Alexia murmurs. "(I remember one of the two oil drum we saw was lying on the ground. But I can't believe Lana kicked it.)"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but deadly! This is a predator! A leopard woman!" Angel returns to the stand and makes a scratching gesture. "Rawr!"
The judge says, "Miss Fey, your cross-examination, please."
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Beginning of Cross-Examination – Angel Starr's Statement, Apprehending the Suspect
"Where's the partition?" Ema asks.
"Miss Fey, please." Alexia walks over and gives Miles the plans. "Thank you." He lifts them up so she can see them, pointing somewhere at the top. "This is it. It's this wall right next to where my car had been."
"It was about 3 meters tall, wasn't it?" Says Alexia, leaning against the prosecution's bench.
"That's right." Miles replies.
Angel crosses his arms. "Obviously she was trying to hide. It's quite natural for a criminal!"
"What did she say about the muffler?" Alexia asks, next to the prosecutor's bench.
"If I knew exactly, I would have said it!" Angel snaps.
"Don't be shameless..." Alexia murmured and Miles in unison, but they were not heard by the others.
"That's all I heard her say. She wasn't talking to me; she was on the phone!" Angel exclaims.
"So you never saw it." Alexia says with a raised eyebrow. Angel is still.
"She couldn't have done it," Miles says of agreement. "The image is proof of that."
Angel nods. "I admit it."
"This is strange!" Ema says, confused. "First she mistakes a scarf for splattered blood, now she says she didn't see any scarves!"
Alexia takes note of what Ema said. But first, she clarifies some doubts. "How did she manage to 'escape'?"
Angel gestures outward. "She pushed my hand away and started running! It was a terrible sight to watch, like a spoonful of lard in a foie gras pate! He even kicked me into an oil canister!"
(Leaving aside the strange metaphor of food, he mentioned the oil drum again.)" Alexia thinks.
"What I want to know is this." Miles looks at the test table. "If she wanted to escape... why didn't she run to the other side?"
"Ah, you mean the entry of the cars!" says the judge.
Ema nods. "Exactly! Was she trying to get caught?"
Angel can't answer that. She doesn't know how to do it.
"It seems that we have more mysteries," Alexia murmurs, returning to the defense bench. "Better to try to solve them from the beginning."
Fey connects her gaze with that of the witness. "Miss Starr, how close were you to the suspect so you could catch her 'quick'?"
"I think I said this 9 meters." Angel says.
"So the place where you parked is 9 meters away from where you found Miss Skye?" She says
"Yes, that's right." Angel answers.
"Wait, there's a fence between all that, right?" Says the Judge.
Angel shakes his head. "Obviously I scaled it."
"In that short time?" Alexia grimaces.
"Amazing!" says the judge. "The Cough-up Queen, the Luncheon athlete lady."
Ema folds her arms. "There's no way she could get to my sister so quickly. It would take her a while to climb that fence in flat shoes or sneakers, let alone heels!"
"And the fence was 3 meters high," says Alexia. "I find it strange that your sister didn't run away."
Alexia, holding Lana's phone, turns to Angel. "You said she was on the phone when you mentioned the muffler, right?"
Angel shrugs. "Yes, ultimately."
"Ultimately?" asks Miles.
"At first she tried to use the phone hanging on the wall. But apparently it was broken." Alexia answers.
"Hmmm..." says the judge. "Good witnessing, witness!"
"(What happened to good testifying?)" Alexia thinks with a drop of sweat.
"You should, of course, add this to your testimony."
Angel rolls her eyes. "The things I do to please newbies." She grabs her hat and tries to straighten it. "I saw it all: how she tried to use the phone on the wall. she stopped trying and just used her cell phone!"
"Can you rephrase everything? For the court?" Ask for Alexia..
The judge nods. "I was going to ask for the same thing!"
"Very well." She comes out from behind the witness bench and walks to the center of the room. "I'll only say this once, so listen carefully, all of you. The chief prosecutor stabbed the victim and ran behind the partition. She then picked up the emergency phone that was on the wall, but as it was out of order. She took her own cell phone out of her pocket."
"And while she was doing that, you climbed the fence..." Says the Judge.
"Yes, your honor. I bravely grabbed her arm, and she hung up the phone!" Angel exclaims proudly.
Alexia taps her arm with her finger, as Miles does sometimes. "Uh huh. And did you see this?"
Everyone is looking at him. "What?"
End of Cross-Examination – Angel Starr's Statement, Apprehending the Suspect
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"This contradiction leads me to conclude that he has a personal grudge against Ms. Lana Skye!" Alexia points directly to Angel.
"OBJECTION!!" Miles exclaims. "The witness is a former detective. Her testimony is not clouded by personal prejudices."
Angel clasps her hands together. "Good, good! Who would have thought that you would be my knight in shining armor, prosecutor? You, who kicked me out two years ago... with the Chief Prosecutor!"
Of course, she has no response from the prosecutor for this.
"Nice try, Ms. Starr." Alexia says as she walks to the prosecutor's desk. "Mr. Edgeworth, the blueprints, please."
Miles, confused, pushes them over.
Fey walks over to Angel, "Explain this," she says, as she shows her the blueprints.
"Explain what?!" Angel blurts out.
"It's pretty straightforward. Could you explain how you could have seen Ms. Skye make the phone call from where she was?" Alexia points to the area where Angel says he was.

Yes. She has already seen the problem, so she backs away in shock.
"I think you understand what I mean. That emergency phone was in the back of this partition," Alexia says, pointing to it. "If you were really in Block B, you couldn't have seen it!"
"No!" Angel exclaims, dropping her bag.
There goes the gallery. Alexia and Ema cover their ears while the Judge silences them.
"What is the meaning of this?" The Judge demands to know.
"Easy!" says Alexia. "She's not coughing up lunch; she's coughing up lies!"
Angel growls, picks up her purse, and returns to the witness stand. Miles points to Alexia.
"Okay, Miss Fey. Can you tell us what she lied about?"
"Well, lying about the phone doesn't make sense." Alexia shrugs. "And if she saw Miss Skye use it, that means she saw all this from somewhere else!"
"Ha!" Miles shakes his head. "That's a useless lie if I've ever heard one!"
"OBJECTION!!" Fey moves one of her bangs, a small smile on her face. "Don't write it off so quickly, Mr. Edgeworth. Don't you think you should at least listen before you judge?"
"Objection admitted," says the judge. "Please show us where the witness should have been."
Alexia directs the shots towards the judge. "She was here!" She points to the security booth.
"But why?" asks the judge. "She could have seen it from anywhere else."
"Your Honor, she can't park in Block A!" Alexia reminds him. "There aren't many other places where she's been in that case. Plus the fact that she said she brought lunch to her boyfriend at security!"
Angel stomps her feet. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
"Order, order!" the judge shouts. Finally, the gallery is silent. "Witness! What have you done!? You used to be a detective! I should know better!"
"I don't care!" Angel yells in response. "I'm not going to back down! The guilty will be punished, and I will do whatever is necessary to ensure that justice prevails."
"(I'm sure she's talking about Lana, but why the hell is for...?)" Alexia thinks intrigued.
"Hey, Miss Fey?" Ema says, catching the lawyer's attention.
"Yes, Kitten?" Alexia asks curiously.
"I don't understand this. Why did Mrs. Starr lie?" The little scientist says confused.
"Well... probably because the fact that she saw the crime from another place would cause there to be a big hole in his testimony." Alexia suggests thoughtfully. "It is not the first time that a testimony has been modified for convenience, nor will it be the last."
"You sure?" asks Ema unsurely. "I don't see how that changes anything..."
"Exactly!" Miles exclaims from across the room. "This photograph says it all! It was the defendant who stabbed the victim! That truth still stands!"
Alexia shakes her head in negative. "No, it doesn't."
Edgeworth shudders. "What?! How so?"
"Angel knows full well that she would be guilty of perjury if she was caught." Alexia says, turning to look at the lunch lady. "She wouldn't take a chance without a good reason!"
The Judge is intrigued, "Why don't you tell us what it is, Miss Fey?"
"It changes the distance between her and the crime scene!" Alexia exclaims.
"Miss Fey, may I?" Miles puts his hands behind his back. "My deepest condolences, but with a look at the plans it is quite clear. The distance between the crime scene and the guard station is 9 meters. I don't see how that would change what she was able to see."
Alexia shows a foxy smile. "I'm not worried about what she might be able to see there. I'm talking about how long it would take her to get there!"
Miles backs away in surprise.
"Mrs. Starr, how long did it take you to get from that station to the scene of the crime?" asks Alexia.
She stares at them but says nothing.
"Witness?" asks the judge.
Take out a lunch box again. "You ordered the squid wheels, right?"
"How disgusting!" both girls say in unison. The quality of lunches has gone from excellent to low to inedible.
"Anyway," Angel says, "I would bring my boyfriend a PB&J lunch with fresh blackberry jam."
The judge reflects on this. "Hmm... Mora for the bridegroom!"
"He wasn't at the station, so I waited." Angel approaches where we are and points to the plans, which are on the defense bench. "I witnessed the crime from the glass-walled station... And before I realized what I was doing, I found myself running toward the scene." He traces the path he was trying to take, which seemed very short. "But... The door was locked. I couldn't open it." She then charts the new path she was forced to take. "That's why I had to go through the visitors' parking lot in Block B."
"Show me too, will you?" The Judge requests. She picks up the plans and traces them again for him. "That's a big turn-off."
She shrugs. "I wouldn't say it. It only took me five minutes to get there."
"What?!" They all exclaim in unison.
The gallery begins to talk to each other, but not loud enough to ignore a loud bang from the sledgehammer.
The judge pulls his beard. "This changes things considerably!"
"But it was that woman who was there in the defendant's chair who stabbed him! I know! I have photographic evidence!" Angel exclaims, as he raises his right hand again. "I swear... I swear by my best plastic fork!"
The judge shrugs. "He is right. And the fork is a wonderful invention."
"Do you want another caviar lunch?" Angel says as he holds it.
"Absolutely!" The Judge exclaims excitedly.
Alexia sighs wearily as Angel brings it closer to the supposedly impartial authority of the room.
"Miss Fey!" says Ema. "Do something!"
"I'm going, I'm going, I'm going!” Alexia murmurs before exclaiming. "OBJECTION!!" and slap the table with their palms, "Five minutes between the testimony of the murder and the arrest? Think about it! You could make pasta in that time if you like al dente!"
"Ha!" Angel holds another box. "I have lunch boxes that tie knots with the pasta, rookie!"
"It's not the point." Alexia answers, before continuing with her line of reasoning. "Doesn't this five-minute blank space seem strange to you?"
"Is it strange how...?" asks Miles.
"Your Honor!" Alexia turned to the judge. "If you were a criminal, what would you do with five minutes of total solitude?"
He shrugs. "I guess he would run away." Then he jumps. "Hey! Don't get the wrong idea! I didn't kill anyone..."
"Yes, but you have the instincts of a murderer! You'd run away from before anyone arrives!" Alexia says with a half-smile. "But this time it was different! Ms. Skye stayed at the scene of the crime... she even got careless enough to have her picture taken! No real criminal would act this way! It's inconceivable!"
At this final statement, Angel exclaims furiously as she throws her bag across the room, straight into the gallery.
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Everyone looks at the Judge, waiting for him to speak.
"Okay, then. It seems that we have reached the end of this testimony," he says while pointing the gavel towards Angel. "She holds a grudge against the defendant and there is a gap in her testimony."
The Cough-Up Queen is growling from her stall.
He turns to look at the prosecutor's office. "Mr. Edgeworth, is the next witness ready?"
Miles sighs. "Unfortunately, it appears that I have overestimated this witness because of her professional history."
Ema applauds. "Way to go, Miss Fey! We fucked up that closed can!"
"That was too close." Alexia murmurs, deliberately ignoring the slur that Ema said.
The judge folds his arms. "I'm afraid the Choking Queen has been dethroned. And with that, the session is adjourned!"
But while he raises his sledgehammer...
"HOLD IT!!"
Everyone turned their heads towards the lady at lunch. She calmly bends down and picks up one of the lunches from before. "Mr. Edgeworth, you ordered the Squid Wheels, didn't you?" he asks, pulling him closer to him.
Once again, the two girls shudder. That's the one she tried to give them.
Miles raises a hand. "I'd rather not take leftovers from the defense team. Do you have anything else to say?"
She puts a hand on his hip. "Maybe. I have decisive evidence that can save you."
"What was that?!" asks the judge.
"Uh, is this one of your tricked-out lunch boxes...?" Alexia asks tiredly.
The Judge shakes his head. "Anyway... we have no more questions to ask you, Ms. Starr."
"Maybe this will change your mind?" Angel says as he holds the biggest box he's ever had today. "Is this your giant lunch box?"
Jokes aside, the judge actually applauds excitedly. "Whoo hoo! A triple floor!" As soon as he has it in front of him, he says, "Out of deference to the determination of the witness, I will allow one more testimony! Let's listen to this decisive evidence."
Angel bows. "As Lunchland's motto goes, you won't be disappointed!"
Alexia growls annoyed. "What will she take out of her lunchbox now?"
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Beginning of Witness Testimony – Angel Starr's Statement, Conclusive Evidence
"I should have mentioned those 5 minutes during which I didn't see the crime scene. But now, let's talk about the victim's shoe... Hadn't I told you about the matter...? Tests show 2 types of blood in the shoe! One was the victim's, of course. But the other one was—" it was the blood of the defendant, Ms. Lana Skye! This shoe proves it! It's an impeccable test!"
End of Witness Testimony – Angel Starr's Statement, Conclusive Evidence
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During the testimony, Angel took out some gloves and put them on her hands to hold the shoe in question. Everyone is amazed at it.
"Is there blood on that shoe?!" The judge is incredulous.
Angel smiles and goes over to go get her bag from the gallery. "Try Lunchland, for all your lunch needs and decisive testing!"
"Why did I just find out about this?" demands Miles.
Alexia raises an eyebrow. "Mr. Edgeworth, I'm sure she's already made it pretty clear that she doesn't trust you with proof!"
"How is it possible that this girl seems to understand better than you?" she asks. "In any case, I did my own research."
"And did you do blood tests?" asks Alexia.
"That's what I did. Didn't I mention that I have three boyfriends in forensics?"
Ema rubs her temples. "How many are already going so far?"
"Six, and most likely, still counting," says Alexia.
"Anyway, I can't take this as proof!" Miles snaps.
"Why not?!" Angel demands.
" You must know the two rules of Evidence Law, Mrs. Starr! Rule 1: No evidence will be shown without the approval of the Police Department! In other words, this shoe is illegal evidence! At least, for the time being!" Edgeworth exclaims.
Alexia just watches. "(Looks like Mr. Edgeworth is celebrating.)"
Ema looks at Alexia. "Is that so, Miss Fey?!"
"Theoretically. But it seems that Mr. Edgeworth is forgetting a detail." Alexia says, drawing attention to her.
Edgeworth looks annoyed. "And what would it be that I'm forgetting?"
"It's that Ms. Starr said that this shoe was analyzed by a member of the forensic department. So yes, we like it or not, she complies with the first rule by having the approval of the police department. In addition to the fact that the general public also has the right to upload evidence, as long as it is related to the case." Alexia explains in great detail.
"I couldn't have explained it better." Angel says with a wicked smile.
In response, he dropped his head by banging on the table. "Argh!"
"(Mr. Edgeworth looks rather sullen.)" Alexia thinks.
The judge rubs his forehead. "Despite the complaints of the prosecution... It seems that this evidence satisfies the first rule of the law of evidence. It looks like you have yet another count against you, witness."
Angel shrugs. "Whatever is necessary to ensure that the guilty are properly tried."
Place the shoe on the right side of the photo, which has been returned to the table along with the plans.
The victim's shoe was added to the court file.
"There's blood on the toe of the shoe." Alexia whispers, looking at the shoe.
"That blood... it's my sister's, right?" Ema says fearfully.
"That's what it looks like." Alexia says. "Remember that Ms. Lana's right hand was bandaged when we saw her in the detention center. It must have been cut off at the time of the crime..."
"My poor sister..." Ema murmurs sadly.
"It also looks like there's blood on the sole of the shoe." Alexia comments. "It has to be the victim's. He must have stepped into a small pool of his own blood."
"All this blood... It's horrible," Ema says trembling.
"(Hmm... This blood could be an important clue...)" Alexia thinks seriously.
"Alright, Miss Fey, you can question the witness!" Says the Judge.
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Beginning of Cross-Examination – Angel Starr's Statement, Conclusive Evidence
"How come you lied about the five minutes?" Alexia asks.
"I guess you could say I just wanted people to see the results," Angel replies.
"What does it mean...?" Alexia questions.
Angel exclaims, frustrated. "How many times do I have to say this? I saw the chief prosecutor stab the victim before my very eyes! Compared to that, a five-minute 'blank' means nothing!"
"Then why didn't you tell the truth?" asks Miles. Wow, he looks so tired of this...
Angel crosses his arms. "Don't make me laugh! We are dealing with the most untrustworthy of the vile known as prosecutors! Falsified evidence, fixed testimony, erasing and manipulating evidence!" She grab a lunch. "When you fight monsters, you must use all the tricks in the book!"
With that, he throws lunch into the prosecution bench. Miles has to get out of the way. "Hey!"
"How does that make sense if the suspect admits she did it?" Alexia whispers to herself.
"False testimony is the most despicable crime of all, Ms. Starr. Let's end this once and for all," says the judge.
"If not, I'm imagining things. I would say there's a critical problem with this evidence." Says Alexia, before exclaiming, "A clear contradiction!"
"Wait!" says Alexia. "I see it!" She takes the gloves out of her bag and picks up the shoe. "Look at this! The blood here on the shoe is a contradiction!"
"That sparkle in your eyes... You're still young, rookie." Angel comments mockingly. "Now I'd give you peppery fish guts, but I doubt very much you can handle that heat, right?"
"Let's listen to what Mr. Fey has to say!" the Judge proposes, "what is contradictory about the victim's shoe? Show us the problem with this evidence!"
Alexia taps the table with her palms. "It's more than clear, and there's blood on the sole of that shoe!"
"It will be your blood on my shoe if you don't explain!" Angel snaps.
"Miss Fey! What could be contradictory about the blood on the sole of his shoe!?" asks Miles.
End of Cross-Examination – Angel Starr's Statement, Conclusive Evidence
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"You've seen the crime photo, right?" Alexia says taking the photo of the crime. "Do you see any traces of blood somewhere here?"
"In this photo there is only a part of the floor!" Miles rebukes her. "There might have been some off-camera."
"That's impossible," says Alexia. "We were there, and we didn't find anything remotely resembling a footprint made of blood. And I doubt very much that the police did, otherwise they would have said something about the presence of any there."
The gallery is again amazed. It seems that Lana looks annoyed by this whole thing...
"Order! Order! Order!" shouts the judge. "Explain yourself, witness!"
Angel looks like a deer in front of the headlights of a car. "What?! Hey? I, uh..."
"Way to go, Ms. Fey!" Ema says. "But now we have to ask ourselves this: why were there no footprints there?"
"That's true! There has to be a reason why there wasn't a footprint!" says the judge.
"The only explanation that comes to mind right now is that Lana either killed this man somewhere else, or she was just the one who found the body, eliminating the possibility that she killed him." Alexia deduces, crossing her arms. "Unless there is a method so that in just 5 minutes or less, she had the time to clean the blood, I only see how you validate these two options..."
"...'Unless there is a method to clean the blood in as little as 5 minutes or less'..." Miles murmurs as he looks at Lana. "I see... Now I understand."
Alexia raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "Understand what?"
"Understanding that our witness is more devious than I thought!" says Edgeworth, pointing to Angel. "We were deceived to the end! But she made a mistake! There is a vital hint of truth in her testimony."
"And what is that, Mr. Edgeworth?" asks Alexia.
"Remember what you told us about detaining the suspect ... I thought it was a strange thing for a normally serene chief to do."
"Wait a minute, are you referring to when she kicked that oil drum?" Alexia says intrigued. Miles nods in confirmation.
"Now, witness. Let me ask you a very simple question." Edgeworth says with a half-smile. "That oil drum she kicked... was it empty?"
Angel shakes his head. "I wasn't. It was full of water."
"What?!" says Ema. "That means...?!"
"Yes, it is, Miss Skye." Miles smiles. "Your sister knocked over that gas can for one and one reason only: To erase the bloodstains that would become evidence against him!"
"Nooooo!" Ema screams. Alexia simply remains stoic.
"Good!" The judge applauds. "That ties things together pretty well! The blood stains left on the victim's shoes clearly link her to this murder! Then, after committing the crime, he overturned the oil drum to erase the telltale signs!"
Angel mocks. "Wow, that's a prosecutor's specialty... erasing evidence!"
Alexia followed the situation stoically, with a rather calm expression. Something that began to bother Angel; "What's going on, rookie? Do you have anything on your mind?"
Fey shrugs. "Only one. I was remembering when you said something about when you have to fight monsters, you have to use all the techniques in the book."
"Yes, I said that. So what?" Angel replies angrily.
"Well... Couldn't you be in cahoots with the prosecution? You could have lied about the water..." Alexia says as if she doesn't want the thing.
Angel looks as if he wants to pounce on Alexia. She just smiles slyly, "(The lure is ready. Let's see what's bigger, your grudge or your pride?)"
Edgeworth looks annoyed by the defense's words; "Enough! There's no need for any more debate," he turns to the judge, "The verdict, Your Honor!"
"Well..." The judge raises his sledgehammer. "I see no reason to prolong this trial."
Tears slowly form in Ema's eyes. "No! Miss Fey, do something!"
"Don't worry, Kitten." Alexia says with a small smile. "You will see that we do not have the need to speak for this trial to last any longer..." Ema looks confused at the lawyer
The judge raises his gavel more. "This court finds the defendant, Ms. Lana Skye..."
"HOLD IT!!"
It's Angel again. Her face is contorted with fury.
"I told you..." Alexia whispers. Ema is simply surprised.
"Rookie. What the hell did you just say?!" Angel growls, annoyed.
"Me? What did I say?" Alexia says pretending not to understand.
"You just said I was on the side of the prosecution?!" Angel exclaims angrily.
"Isn't that right?" says Alexia, shrugging. "It was you who say that Miss Skye is hiding evidence by erasing the traces of blood."
"I have the feeling that you have offended her...", says Ema, looking at her nervously, as she wipes away the tears that escaped her.
"You bet she did!" Angel snaps. "I thought you had your fill, but here you are, demanding a second helping! Another lunch box..." The one he holds seems to be hslf-half. "A lunch box called 'evidence'!"
The judge is taken aback for a moment. "Do you have anything else, witness?"
"Your Honor, you have reached your verdict!" Miles hisses. "Any further comments will be considered contempt of court!"
With a foxy smile, Alexia says; "Mr. Edgeworth, as if that has stopped people in this courtroom before."
"Besides, your threats don't scare the Cough-Up Queen!" Angel shows another photo. "Look at this! I kept it in case anyone dared to say that this shoe didn't belong to the victim!"
The judge studies it. "I don't see any margin for error in this evidence."
"Ah!" shouts Ema.
"T-The asphalt..." Ema murmurs in shock.
"Indeed. It's wet..." Alexia says calmly.
The judge nods. "Erasing the last trace of doubt from the mind of the court. Immediately after the murder, the crime scene was washed with water!"
Ema's face twists to be sadder than before. "I'm sorry. I guess... I couldn't help after all."
"(Oh no, now it sounds like Maya two months ago. But this is not her fault. We knew that this case was almost impossible to win. And it seems that this is what her sister wanted anyway!)" Alexia thinks, looking between the Skye sisters, before returning her gaze to the photo presented and studying it as quickly as she can. "(But, even though I know it's impossible to win, I'm not going to fall until I take my last breath...)"
And she found just what she needed... in the form of a cloth inside of a car’s muffler. "(Bingo...)"
"Very good! This time I would like to declare a final verdict!" Says the Judge.
Before he can hit the sledgehammer, the five of us shout, "Your Honor! HOLD IT!".
That makes him nervous. "What about all of you?! Can I no longer render my verdicts in peace? Whatever it is, can't it wait?!"
"No, it can't wait! Then it will be too late!" Alexia exclaims annoyed. "Since you can't give your verdict because there's a problem with this evidence!"
"What could it be, Miss Fey?" Edgeworth says.
"This one!" Alexia exclaims, pointing to the car's pipe. "Look!"
Miles looks at him closely, before realizing, "Wait! Something is sticking out of the car's muffler!"
"Ah! What is that sticking out of there?" The Judge says intrigued.
"It doesn't matter!" Angel says. "It has nothing to do with the case!"
"Actually, it does," Alexia says crossing her arms. "You were the one who told us how important it was!"
Angel backs away. "When?!"
"Don't you remember?" Alexia says, as she slowly moves Lana's phone with her hand. "He said he heard her mention a muffler! She was probably referring to the one in the car, which means that this piece of cloth could prove to be vital evidence for the case!"
"AAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Angel throws her bag behind her, toward the double doors, and crushes her hat once more.
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Once the lunch lady is a little calmer, the judge says, "It looks like we'll have to stay the proceedings."
"sus... SUSPEND!?" She asks.
"I wonder about that piece of cloth. If we leave any questions unanswered here, we don't do the law any favors! Have the car inspected at the crime scene immediately and bring me that cloth!" The Judge orders. "The verdict will wait until after we have seen all the evidence. Okay...?"
Miles sighs. "I suppose so."
Ema gasps. "I can't believe it... it was too close...."
Alexia nods her head. "But we've made it... (at least for now...)"
"The court will adjourn for a thirty-minute recess!" The judge lifts the giant box, which is one place below. "After all, it's time for lunch!"
"Are you still hungry?!" Both girls say in unison. More were silenced by the blow of the Judge's mallet.
#ace attorney#phoenix wright#maya fey#pearl fey#franziska von karma#dick gumshoe#hatsune miku#justice for all#AAII#Fey#ayasato mayoi#mia fey#harumi ayasato#chihiro ayasato#my art#klavier gavin#apollo justice#miles edgeworth#kristoph gavin#godot#diego armando#alternative universe#Ace Attorney au#AA au#AA#yeah#trucywright#trucywrightaceattorney#lawyer
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The thing about identity is that it changes with the tides of what is happening to you, just intrinsically, so it is very difficult to pattern map exactly what is exacerbating what facet. But, astutely, it has been made known to me that summer Michael is far more stable in identity than winter Michael. Which makes sense. Because when I over book myself to the brim with friends and community and outdoors and tasks in the caliber that one can in the heat and sun-- going honeybee mode-- a lot of the dips and crests even out through sheer pleasant and earned exhaustion by the end of the night. Whereas in the winter.... Not as much to do and far more time spent stuck inside my own brain and head landscape. But then also it is true that I pretty much...... Hm
To say I'm different than last year is no joke, and to say that the me from before June 8th feels like a Ghost is also no joke. But it's not as though I'm completely fresh and new--phoenix rising metaphor and all, even if I cauterize and burned myself down to the ash, the ash still had.... Me...? Inside it. It's like taking a sickly tree and cutting it down to the trunk and letting it grow back stronger. It's different! But the same in many ways. And I have spent month-- 12of them-- crawling out of the controlled burn and trying to map myself. So the 'patterns' I'm noting are, to an extent, not just new, but patterns that I am cultivating and honing and shaping. So much of this is new again. Even without a dissasociative condition-- of which I generally exist in shades and facets of three different main Genres , I've found-- so much of post addiction is looking back at your self in addiction and not recognizing the person in the mirror. Many memoirs and accounts of addiction talk aboht this. They feel alien to you even as they feel the same as you. It feels like a version of you that lies dormant. A bundle of every bad habit and unhealthy coping mechanism rolled into one person that becomes VERY good at lying. But when you cauterize that, you don't just *develop* health over night. You have to work on it.
And that's what I've been doing and will continue doing. Sobriety has helped me prioritize the greatest and most personal project I will ever have the honor of completing-- me. This is all over the place. I guess.... Pattern mapping and finding the patterns in yourself is cool. But I'm just now, a year in to Michael Whit Misha whatever able to see just the beginnings of what that looks like, with a healthy body, a healthier mind, a more keen outlook and insight.
Identity is funny and silly and if nothing else, the freedom to demand and assert that I can be whatever identities I choose to form with deliberation has been monumental in letting those cauterized ashes lay to rest, because at the core of it, addiction personalities are formed from a desire to not just appease those who aren't you, but to delete the aspects of yourself that ARE authentic. And in authenticity I have lost some of those that aren't me. But I've gained a hell of a lot meaningful relationships the more I've been unapologetic and taken accountability for the spaces I should and shouldn't inhabit. And my community and my relationships are the reason for doing it and I am so full to the brim with love every day of my life now. Even on the hard days, at least, I can say without lying that I am trying my fucking best. And I can mean it. Anyways.
Project year 1 complete 👍
#I'll prob make a sappy post being more yayyyyy sober one year tomorrow on the day#But I'm musing mood Mike rn
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a love letter to survival
[CW/TW: Self-harm metaphors, trauma, blood, emotional abuse]
Im so sorry lover, you dont deserve to be cut by the broken shards of me that have found their way into your heart. You dont deserve to bleed, and you dont deserve to be bled on, you are not the ones who hurt me, yet my body cant let go, and my mind is begging, and my soul is crying for a release that may not exist, my spirit feels like it is waning, consistently, slipping away. My emotions flare, a roman candle burning at both ends, sending rainbow sparks through my synapses. Burning out like a phoenix, will i rise stronger from my ashes? Or am i simply consuming myself, A divine metaphor
Im so sorry that you're a part of it, the spectrum of intensity, my mind an aurora, and my heart caught in the radiation
"my love is like radiation"
"Cut me and i'll bleed light "
"If you never heal from what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you." No shit! Thats what helping other people is for! If you help someone who is bleeding, you'll get blood on you! Wash off the blood, that is love, they have scars. I will not overlook that you have blood on you, that i have bled. Do not believe that the blood on you from me bleeding outweighs the blood ive lost and the scars tha are healing. We can be both wounded and worthy of love. We can recognize the ways our trauma affects others without turning it into shame. Supporting someone through trauma means getting messy sometimes. If you cant get messy, dont offer support, if you cant handle blood, dont touch the heart of someone bleeding. You cant see blood, verbalize that you see blood, offer support, care, love, and then be angry that there is blood on you. You saw the blood!
Ive bled on you, but i have never cut you. I have offended you, i have hurt you, yes. I have not been violent, i have not been angry, i have not been cruel (..have i?). You've thrown, hit, and broke 1 thing each, and while small, that hurts more than you acknowledge. I recognize how ive hurt you and im doing my best to grow. I implode, i cry, i harm myself and in doing so, i have harmed you. And im sorry.
"Neither of us is wrong, but the ground we’re burning is the same. Your triggers fan the wind; my reactions flare the heat. We’re not arsonists, just two people trying not to burn what we’ve built while carrying our own fire."
I’m learning that love isn’t about grand gestures for me; it’s about feeling safe to be complicated.
You treat me like a princess, you do so many sweet things and i swear im not overlooking any of every little thing you do for me. I feel like there is hyphae and hurricanes inside me, wildfire and ashes. Fruiting bodies under my skin, morels and amanitas. I wont ask you to burn, please don't ask me to smoulder.
"I’ve spent so much of my life making myself smaller, breaking myself into bite-sized pieces so others could consume me more easily—my ideas, my emotions, my very essence. For so long, I felt like willing prey, offering myself up for the sake of connection, understanding, or approval. I don’t want to be prey anymore—not willing, not unwilling. I don’t want to live in pieces anymore than I already have to.”
I’ve outgrown that. I will no longer make myself smaller or easier to digest just to avoid rejection or discomfort. This isn’t about becoming predatory or taking from others what was taken from me. It’s about refusing to be consumed.
..Yet i still crave it *How much love can I carve from this wound?
Masochist
“I will love myself
even when it burns
even when it terrifies me
even when it terrifies you.”
“If I must bleed, I’ll make it art.”
I am torn in two but I will conquer myself. I will dig up the pride. I will take scissors and cut out the beggar. I will take a crowbar and pry out the broken pieces of God in me. Just like a jigsaw puzzle, I will put Him together again with the patience of a chess player.
How many pieces?
It feels like thousands, God dressed up like a whore in a slime of green algae. God dressed up like an old man staggering out of His shoes. God dressed up like a child, all naked, even without skin, soft as an avocado when you peel it. And others, others, others.
But I will conquer them all and build a whole nation of God in me - but united, build a new soul, dress it with skin and then put on my shirt and sing an anthem, a song of myself." ~ Anne Sexton
Do you think god is nuclear?
The fear within me is beyond anything your soul could make. You can not kill me in a way that matters.
"I see the hyphae in your veins, and it is holy"
#poem#tw!#bpd#bpd vent#emotions#emotional instability#quiet borderline#chaos#masochistic#trauma#sh trigger#trigger words#sorry needed to vent#i need better tags#mental health#actually mentally ill#mental illness#vent post#vent#content warning
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Fire imagery is my eternal hyperfixation...and on this note I'll like to point out that Taylor burning down the Lover house and the line "I'm getting tired even for a phoenix, always rising from the ashes" both being in reference to the Joe breakup situation have insane connotations.
I know she probably didn't intentionally frame it like that, but the idea of her burning down her own house that she built so painstakingly for 6 years (very powerful btw) and then being a phoenix being reborn from the ashes of the place....ahhh. It's giving "she lost him but she found herself" and I am HERE for it.
My brain is immensely fried from all the sleep deprivation rn so BEAR with me even if it makes no sense, but I really believe that Taylor has changed a great deal ever since April 9th...like she's really winning the idgaf war and has probably felt like a new person herself too since a major chapter of her life had ended.
Burning down any reminders of the past and starting off with a clean slate is a very common theme in literature and I'm gonna draw parallels between everything the blonde woman does bcz I want to.
i just rbed something you'll like! but I'm sooo curious to see if this house/fire symbolism reoccurs because, to be honest, the lover house burning on tour always kinda confused me. i believed it had to do with reclaiming her masters and ownership of her work, freeing herself from her past... but the way that could parallel the lh mv, burning down the past with joe... oof
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Dancing in the Light of a Burning City (Phoenixes) by Flobots
Lyrics:
Dancing in the light while the city still burns Different kings still waiting for their turn I never owned what I've never earned But I know that I will with you
Dance in the fire light Wonder what this side is like Pour the oil on the rising flames And wonder what dying's like I more like dionys Coming back again And I'm trying twice Face the mic Face the life Now I'm just facing those flashing lights Mm. like a flash-lights More like a lightsaber Don't fear the father Ain't been a slave Don't fear no darth vader Naw, I just mob daily I'm up on my intercom baby Calling out to the stars and in the darkest hour Which one of y'all will be my savior
I'm on fire I'm okay
Dumpsters flame still flicker in the dead of night Red and white See the rust and embers charred and bleeding still bleeding I can't go home Hear shots and bickerings ricochet And dissipate If I can't find anyone to believe in I'm leaving Okay I am a sleeping giant Deep inside I want peace and quiet When unheard I may speak in riots When unhinged the country's on fire When unquenched the thirst brings empires To their knees and unspins the spires Pillars fall when umpteen town criers Become choirs unseat the sires Sirens blare with unmet desires Justice rolls down like muddy waters I'm a mouthful of sea change Make you rethink everything prior I was born a young boy james laurie Silver spoon on my tongue same story You'd assume from what's come before me But not everything's honkey dory
I'm on fire
Born of the ashes Heir to the flame Lit by the fire We look the same
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From the Ashes the Phoenix Rises
Enji Todoroki X Reader
Summary: Dabi wants to punish Endeavour by slaying his girlfriend on Live TV for the whole world to see
Warnings: Character death, torture, description of murder.
Masterlist - Tip Jar



His malice laughter rings across the speaker.
There’s absolutely nothing Enji could do but watch in abject horror unfolding on the screen before his eyes.
His girlfriend Y/n sitting in an uncomfortable awkward position. Her wrist are bound behind her, stuck to a hook on the wall making her shoulders shoot out unnaturally, her arms look like they’ve been dislocated from her shoulder. Her head is hunched over, fainted from the excruciating torture Dabi was putting her through.
“Quickless little bitch! Wake up!” Dabi growls, he places his hot hand on her thigh, searing the meat. She squirm under the painful flame that burns her flesh. A scream pierces his ears, a painful level of which Enji has never heard her achieve.
He feels utterly defeated watching his first born torture his beloved. Watching helplessly, unable to do anything.
Dabi stares blankly at the camera as her soft sobs echo in the background. “I’ll ruin your chances at happiness just like you ruined mothers.” A sick smile stretches across his face.
Panic rising within Enji he watches his son shove two fingers own her throat. His hand ignites blue flames making the fire burn down her throat, killing her from the inside out. The camera captures the very moment the light left her eyes and begins to melt in her skull. Her flesh shrivelling forcing the liquid to the surface and evaporating under the extreme heat.
“Endeavour! We located Dabi and Y/n, they underground on railroad 7, approximately 4.8km from the manhole 94 located on Debussy Street.” One of the computer technicians yell, wholly unaware of her demise.
Enjis knees give out beneath him, staring at her body dissolving to ash. Dabi echos a sick laugh as he flees the scene.
The feed continues rolling as the fire is completely burnt out leaving nothing more than a pile of ash. Enji would have to be sure to collect the ashes, she deserved that much. He would also have to tell his son Shoto about your death, Shoto will be devastated. His brain switches off emotions, fully focused on the methodical tasks he will need to complete in your death.
“Look!” One of the other agency technicians yell pointing at the screen. The ashes begin to sift as a naked woman springs out into a sitting position, gasping for air clutching at her throat she continues to heave heavy breaths, leaning back she lays back down into the pile ashes, her breathing finally slows down. Her hair cascades to the floor to reveal Y/n’s face.
It couldn’t be, maybe it’s a hallucination, maybe it’s a sick joke. But all doubt falls away as he watched her scrunch her face in that way she does when she’s upset.
“Enji.” She moans with a wobbly lip, tears streaming from her eyes. “Enji!” She screams hysterically, tears falling from her eyes in fat blobs. “ENJI!” Her screams pierced his heart. Though screams were distressed, they filled his heart with utter relief.
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They stand in a tight embrace together in their shared home.
He holds her tightly, terrified that she would disintegrate all over again, terrified that this part wasn’t real and that Y/n really was dead.
“H-how?” Her sniffles began to subside, taking deep breathes she finally speaks.
“I have a Phoenix quirk, when I die I’ll burn up and turn to ash to be reborn at my current age. My life span is 500years.” She pulls her sleeve down to reveal her familiar tattoo with the numbers 300 printed on her wrist. “But I can sacrifice 100 years to bring back another person, it doesn’t matter how many times I die though, it won’t effect my life span.”
“So how old are you then? Why didn’t you ever tell me about your quirk? I thought you were quirkless.”
“I am the age you know me to be, I sacrificed 200 years for my loved ones. I don’t tell anyone out of fear that people will kill and torture me since they know I’ll come back to life anyway, that’s why I moved to Japan. Where no one knew who I was, so they couldn’t do what people in my home town did.” Enji pulls his beloved girlfriend back into his chest.
He has no idea how anyone could do that to you. He doesn’t even understand how you have such a bright and loving smile, how you are so welcoming and loving when you have such a quirk that people turn evil all around you.
He will protect you from the world.
He cannot bare the feeling of loosing or watching you be tortured again.
#bnha imagine#mha imagine#endeavour x reader#endeavour imagine#Enji x Reader#Enji todoroki x reader#todoroki x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#endeavour x you#Enji imagine#Enji Todoroki imagine#Todoroki imagine#Enji Todoroki x you
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Hallucination
The flickering firelight danced across the cell walls, casting grotesque shadows that writhed and twisted like living things. Azula stared into the flames, her reflection a mask of icy calm, but her mind was a battlefield.
“Mother?” she whispered, the word a fragile breath.
A figure materialized from the flames, tall and elegant, her eyes burning with a familiar, searing blue. Ursa.
“Azula,” Ursa said, her voice a silken whisper that carried a haunting echo. “You look…lost.”
Azula's hand clenched into a fist, the fire in her eyes flickering. “Lost? I am the Fire Lord’s daughter. I am destined for greatness.”
“Is that what you truly believe?” Ursa asked, her gaze piercing. “Or is that a lie you tell yourself to drown out the pain?”
Azula scoffed. “Pain? I know only power. And I will have it, even if it means burning the world to ashes.”
Ursa’s lips curled into a sad smile. “You are a phoenix, Azula. But phoenixes rise from ashes. They do not set the world on fire.”
“You think you know me?” Azula spat, her voice laced with venom. “You left me. You abandoned me to this…this hell!”
“I did what I had to do,” Ursa said, her voice softening. “And I am here now, not to judge you, but to offer you a way out.”
Azula scoffed. “A way out? From what? From my destiny? From my birthright?”
“From the fire that consumes you,” Ursa said, her voice filled with a strange, mournful beauty. “The throne is not your destiny, Azula. It is a prison, a cage built of ambition and fueled by pain.”
“You are wrong,” Azula hissed, her voice rising in pitch. “I will not be another pawn in your game. I will be the Fire Lord, and I will rule with an iron fist.”
Ursa’s eyes glistened with tears. “You are strong, Azula. You are powerful. But you are also broken. Let me help you heal.”
The firelight flickered, and Ursa began to fade.
“No!” Azula screamed, her voice cracking with desperation. “Stay! Please, stay with me!”
But the figure was gone, leaving only the echoing silence of the cell and the whispering flames that danced and died. Azula slumped against the wall, tears streaming down her face, the weight of her own power pressing down on her like a crushing burden. The throne was not her destiny. But what was? And how could she find a way out of the inferno that raged within her?
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I AM A NEW GENERATION FEMININE LEADER
I've gone deep down into the underground to reclaim my soul.
Being my vulnerable and authentic expression is my goal.
I use my fiery passion to cleanse and purify my self-doubt.
Burning through this ignorance is what I'm all about.
Layers upon layers stripped and peeled off, my old self dies...
I feel reborn, like a Phoenix out of the ashes I rise.
Now, my sister, it is your turn to let go of the past.
To draw a line in the sand and say "I am the last!"
... to play small, to stay silent, to shrink back, to be suppressed.
Women, we will no longer be oppressed.
For when we come together in Sisterhood there is nothing we lack.
Sister, you can surrender into the feminine; I've got your back!
You are enough, You are strong.
You've done nothing wrong.
You are a new generation feminine leader and in this tribe you belong.
I give you full permission to be YOU just as you are.
Unleash your power... It's time we raise the bar.
To take a stand for this dream of freedom that we've had from the start.
~Tanya Lynn
Gratitude to the unknown artist

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hiii 👀 for bestie maeve: retro, persona, bandmates, lyrics, seven <333
Hiii bestie 💕💕💕 Under the cut bc it got long
Infamous ask game
Retro: What was the first CD they ever bought with their own money? Do they still have it? Do they still like it?
So I touched on this in one of my snippets for her (shameless self plug 😌) but the first CD she was ever able to buy with her own money was Riot! by Paramore. She still has the original copy she bought at the solid age of 10, and yes she still likes it, loves it actually. It was her first rock album and to see one with a female lead singer is what planted the seed of her being able to do that.
Persona: How does their day-to-day personality compare to their on-stage persona?
The biggest difference between Maeve Divine and Maeve is that she's way more exaggerated on stage. She really leans into the performance aspect of everything when on stage, but all of those elements of her personality are still present when she's not screaming on stage. She's maybe a little toned down and there's a more vulnerable side that really only comes out around people she's close to (i.e. the band), but she really doesn't put on that much of an act on stage.
Bandmates: How do they feel about the members of the band? Would they still be interested in stardom if they weren’t with that group?
She loves the rest of the band, they’re her best friends. Meeting them was really the first time someone else (other than Seven) understood her. With August in particular, since they’re new, she was a little hesitant because of the fact that they weren’t there since the conception of RS, but their skills were impressive enough that she was willing to take that chance. Because of that, she wants to make sure that they feel welcome, that they’re not an outsider simply because they weren’t in that core founding group. And I think she would still be interested in stardom without this group, but having this group makes it infinitely better. She wants to be seen and be heard, and doing that with her closest friends is something she is extremely grateful for.
Lyrics: What are some songs you associate with your character? Any specific lyrics that really scream your character?
So I do have her character playlist (which I am gonna push again because I’m annoying about it) but here’s a few highlights:
Halestorm- Strange Girl Cast me out, abandon me / Write me off for dead / Ridiculed, made to feel like I'm your deepest dread / You say, "She's such a strange girl" / Such a strange girl / The world needs strange girls / Just like me
Tessa Violet- YES MOM 20-20 vision with ambition's how I'm made / I can't keep from winning when it's in my DNA / Push me down and I bounce right back / Trampoline and it's in my past / Rising like a phoenix making fire from the ash
Black Veil Brides- Heart Of Fire This heart of fire is burning proud / I am every dream you lost and never found / This heart of fire is stronger now / Build your walls but you can't keep me out / I'll burn 'em down
(Ask me one day about the playlist analysis docs I have for both the her + her/seven playlists)
Seven: Do you have headcanons about their friendship and/or romantic relationship (past or future)? What do you imagine some of their best memories are? What do you think some of Seven’s favorite things about your MC were/are?
I do headcanon that their friendship started because Maeve chimed in during a class with a very strict teacher and saved Seven’s ass from a question he didn’t know the answer to. He wanted to thank her afterwards, they started talking, and the rest was history.
At some point in high school, both of them had a crush on the other, but neither of them said anything because of not wanting to ruin their friendship if the other didn’t feel the same way. That goes to show just how connected they were that they had the same reasoning. It was also incredibly obvious to the rest of the band that they liked each other that way, they were not subtle
Honestly, some of their best memories are the most mundane. For example, Maeve is a very physical person with her affection, so even when they were just friends (and crushing) she was all over Seven when they hung out. Head in his lap, on his shoulder, sprawled all over him, she’s clingy. That’s how they wrote songs together, literally on top of each other.
I like to think that one of Seven’s favorite things about Maeve is just her dedication to this dream. She threw everything she had into it, he watched her toil for hours over things like hand-studding her lucky leather jacket (one that she still wears to this day, like to the BOTB auditions). She had a dream, and while the plan came eventually, she never stopped dreaming, which he admired.
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Okay so I had to come out of tags for this one and I apologize for how long it is🥹💖
#“But I’m not good enough for you, Bucky, am I?” We just started and you’re already playing with my heart😭😣
#“kindly fuck off” me personally I would’ve excluded the kindly part🙅🏾♀️
#“He hardly looked at you.” Nuh uh if we’re breaking up at least have the balls to look me in the eye🙁
#“Your world didn't fall to pieces. Instead, you floated slowly in the air. Bucky remained on the ground as you drifted away, just out of reach when you tried to touch him. That was when you felt the first crack in the foundation.”
“A slow destruction with the man you love at the root.” MS.NAVY 🙉 you and literature are like soulmates with the way you create such beautiful phrases🥹
#“Are you asking me to choose between you and my family?” Stop it right now😭 it shouldve been us against the world, like who are you in a relationship with???me or your father🙅🏾♀️
#“…he said dismissively, jerking his hand away so quickly you almost fell forward.” I can’t lie to you girlie…he’s really pissing me off😭 and I know it’s probably to show the wall he’s built to keep from giving in, but apart of me wants to be like …get out😐
#“Why isn't he fighting for me? For us?” THIS!!!! Like WTF if you’re not going to fight for me then what was the point of getting involved with me🙉
#I can’t take the emotionless attitude 😣😣😣 like be sad or angry or happy even but don’t act like our relationship was a spec of dust that you flick off😞
#“You could take rage or sorrow, but not his indifference.” Omg we are literally the same🤧 I promise I’m writing as I go😂
#“…but the bitterness crept in as more tears fell.” We’re allowed to feel bitter girlie🥹😤
#“You were crashing down, the shards of his words piercing you so deep you weren't sure you'd ever get them out.” Imma have to come up with a system for every time you prove my point about being a literary genius 🥹😍
#“Get out. Get out!…” THE WAY I JUST YELLED YESS, he doesn’t deserve to see us breakdown😤
#“Love is sealed by a kiss, but he broke it with his words.” THE GASP I LET OUT, LIKE OMG YOU ARE TOO GOOD 😍🙉 A NATURAL POET!!💖💗
#I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this but I love your little italicized thoughts, and I feel like they add a glimpse of you in the story if that makes sense 🥹 if someone were to put one of your unreleased fics on a document amongst other stories and we have to guess who wrote it I would totally go “without a doubt that is Ms.Navy’s because her thoughts are one of a kind😌”
#“Maybe in another life, we could have had our happy ending, Bucky.” You’re gonna make me cry and i don’t like crying 😞
#“Maybe you were a phoenix, burnt only to rise from the ashes anew.” You already know why i brought this up😂 although I’ll try to refrain from mentioning all of them so this wont be too long🤧
#“…James plans to take you as a mistress.” I had to read this twice🙉 whatever you do, do not demote yourself to being someone’s mistress🙅🏾♀️😤
#This is probably a terrible thought but I hope George has a bounty on his head😍
#“And when you go to Hell, I hope you aren't burned by the flames. I hope you drown in the tears of everyone you ever wronged. And when you ask for their help to save you, they'll watch you sink to the bottom. Your son included.” GIRL BOSS, I AM SO PROUD, THIS COMEBACK IS GOD TIER🙉
#There’s nothing I hate more than a man who hits women 😡 would’ve lost my job as his guard if I were one of them
#“I hope your neck breaks from looking down on me.” I love us, don’t take bullshit from nobody 🙅🏾♀️
#“You wished you felt numb as you looked at him. This was the man who once told you he'd burn the world if anything ever happened to you. The fire within him was long snuffed out and he took the warmth with him. You were tired of feeling cold.” I know what I said previously but this just had to be brought to light🙉
#Help he’s still pissing me off😭 I hate when they wait till the last minute. When they tear your heart into pieces and watch you crumble from the inside out, just to come back and say they regret their decision and act like you’re supposed to bounce back up into their arms like some inflatable😤 I know that’s not Bucky but still😭
#“Perhaps you had in his heart, a claim that no one else could see but one you both felt.” Againnnnn, it’s too good my heart can’t take it🥹
#“Why is everyone being so cryptic and not saying what they need to?” LITERALLY, I just want some real answers, like is that too much to ask for😭
#“Bucky was a prisoner in his own life.” Stoppp I literally can’t cuz now I feel bad for ever being mad at him😞
#OMG OMG OMG IS THIS REAL
#“I object,” Bucky spoke.
A small smile appeared on Sophia's face as people around you gasped. “As do I,” she said, handing her bouquet to her maid of honor.
TALK ABOUT A PLOT TWIST🙉 I was not read for that, I feel like I’m suffering from whiplash rn
#STOPPP I LOVE PROTECTIVE STEVE🥺
#This just keeps getting crazier and crazier, Bucky boo I apologize for all the things I said about you😣🥺
#“I should've cut out your tongue for suggesting it.” I think he still should but that’s just my opinion 😗
#“You could've told her something! 'I broke her heart to protect her' bullshit,” At least someone gets it😭 I understand doing what you think is best but I feel like a lot of heartbreak could’ve been avoided if someone had told us even the tiniest bit of information, like a note or something 😭🙉
#“I hope we can become friends, if only to piss him off.” Would be the best of friends
#“Our place sounds like a dream come true.” Eeeeeee😍🥹🥰
#OMGG the ending🥹😭🌸✨💖 I literally can’t this story was so amazing; angsty, heartbreaking, and overwhelming yes but amazing nonetheless🥹 This is definitely one of your best fics (that I’ve read so far) with all of the different elements you touch on and how you layer them all together like a painter to create one big picture in the end🥹 and the writing was beautiful as always 🙂↔️🌸✨💗
Forever Hold Your Peace
Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Mob!Bucky Barnes x OFC Summary: You're in love with Bucky Barnes, but he's marrying someone else. Word Count: Over 11.1k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, angst, breaking up, cheating of sorts (not between Bucky and reader), arranged marriage, violence, minor character deaths, miscommunication, talk of becoming a mistress, slight twist, George Barnes is the worst, feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: Lovelies, I'm FINALLY submitting my fic for @sweeterthanthis 's Bittersweet Symphony Writing Challenge. I went back and forth on how I wanted to do this. Struggled. Changed it (right, @sgt-seabass?). Dragged my feet. Here it is. Finally. Thank you to @flordeamatista, @targaryenvampireslayer, and @whisperlullaby who not only beta read this ages back, but gave me insightful feedback, direction, and suggestions to help make it even better than my vision. It is very much appreciated and only helps me continue to grow. I'm proud of this. Also, any and all mistakes are my own.❤️ Dividers by the talented @saradika. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!


You never wanted to have an over the top wedding, it wasn't your style. A small ceremony surrounded by close friends and family would be a much simpler, but happy, occasion in your eyes. As long as you married the man you loved, that was what mattered.
But it didn't matter because you love Bucky Barnes.
And he was marrying someone else.
You stared out the window from where you rested in bed and watched as the sun brightened your room. The rays danced around the space and cast a brilliant glow as it tried to wrap you in a warm embrace. It was a false sense of comfort as it did nothing to soothe the eclipse that had taken over your heart.
Of course, it was a beautiful day. You expected nothing less for the wedding of the year. The Barnes family demanded the best life has to offer and even Mother Nature seemed to listen.
But I'm not good enough for you, Bucky, am I?
Your phone had gone off numerous times since you woke up and you grudgingly reached over to check it. You probably should've shut it off. With a bittersweet smile, you read through one of your group chats.
Monica aka Cap: Hey. You doing okay?
Helen aka Doc: Do you want us to stop by?
Brunhilde aka Valkyrie: We can kick Bucky’s ass first. Just give us the word.
A watery laugh bubbled up. Monica, Helen, and Brunnhilde were three of your oldest friends. Brilliant, beautiful, strong women who were ready to defend or help you without a second thought. They were practically family at this point. You knew they’d be bridesmaids in your wedding one day.
But today wasn't that day.
You: I love all of you, but I just need to be alone today. Sorry.
You refused to look at any of the other messages. Talking wouldn't make you feel any better and you weren't looking for sympathy or comfort. The only plans you had today were to cry over romantic comedies and eat a pint of ice cream.
What better way to celebrate than to wallow in your self-pity?
The creak of your bedroom door made you turn your head. You weren't expecting anyone, but it didn't surprise you when Natasha wordlessly walked in. Her younger sister, Yelena, was right behind her with a garment bag in her hand.
They had become your friends thanks to him.
They would've been bridesmaids, too.
“Good. You're awake,” Natasha said, crossing her arms when you didn't acknowledge her. “Are you getting up?”
You imagined sinking into the mattress, but you couldn't hide them. “No, I'm fine right here.”
“Not fine. Get up. Big day ahead,” Yelena urged, mimicking her sister's stance.
You slowly sat up and glared at the two women at the foot of your bed. They were friends, but they were also dangerous. Not many had the guts to stare them down, but you were too upset to care. “I don't have a big day ahead, so what exactly are you doing here?”
“We need to get you ready for the wedding,” Natasha answered.
You huffed and put your head back on the pillow. “I'm not going. I'm sulking alone. So sorry you wasted your time by coming here.”
Yelena tugged on the blanket before you could cover yourself up. “Why not? Could be fun.”
You weren't sure whether to burst out laughing or burst into tears at her joke.
“I RSVP'd that I wouldn't be there,” you pointed out.
“You wrote 'kindly fuck off' instead of checking off yes or no,” Natasha said.
Yelena snorted as her sister raised an eyebrow at her. You tried to avoid anything Bucky related, as difficult as it was. And then you got the invitation. Your reaction wasn't your finest moment, but receiving it was like reopening the wound.
If you went to Bucky's wedding and watched him marry someone else, you'd shatter. Even if you managed to put yourself back together, you wouldn't be the same. How could they ask that of you?
Why couldn't they let you mend your broken heart on your own terms?
“I'm not going, Nat,” you whispered, wishing she would drop it. “It's cruel that I was invited and you're making it worse.”
There was sorrow in her eyes as she regarded you, a look you didn't see often. It shook your resolve. One of the reasons Bucky valued Natasha was because of her ability to get things done. Whether by words or force, she knew how to push to get people to go in her direction.
“You have to. Please, he needs you,” Natasha said carefully.
Your eyes flashed with rage as you swung your legs over the side of your bed to stand. “He needs me? Are you fucking kidding me?”
The redhead held her hands up, but the gesture didn't calm you. “Please, listen.”
“No! He dumped me. Why the hell should I go to his wedding?”
“She makes a good point.”
“Not helping, Yelena,” Natasha grumbled.
“Bucky doesn't need me in his life,” your voice cracked before you swallowed the lump in your throat. “He made that very clear.”
Bucky didn't kiss you when he went into your apartment that day.
Ever since you started dating, he always greeted you with a kiss. The way his lips moved against yours indicated what kind of day he had. Judging by the haunted look in his eyes, you expected him to smother you with a needy, demanding kiss. But he bypassed you completely and sat on the other end of the couch like he was trying to put distance between the two of you.
“What's wrong?” You asked as you moved to sit beside him. His hair was disheveled like he had been pulling at it. He did that when he was really angry or upset. “Bucky?”
He brought a hand up and touched your cheek, your own hand moving instinctively to cover his. When he leaned like he was going to kiss you, he only rested his forehead against yours. His breath tickled your lips, but the shudder that wracked his frame worried you as he pulled away. It felt like a wordless goodbye.
You didn't want to experience that ever again.
“Talk to me, please.”
He clasped his hands together and stared straight ahead. You wouldn't have known he was breathing if you hadn't seen the slight movement in his chest. The silence began to get uncomfortable, which was a first. The quiet moments were usually serene.
“I'm getting married.“
Was it possible for someone to pull the rug out from under you if you weren't standing?
“You're what?” You asked.
“Please, don't make me say it again.“
“I don't understand,“ you said, trying to make sense of the bombshell he dropped.
“My dad. He arranged it.”
You bristled at the mention of his dad. He was the head of one of the most powerful families in the city. Most feared him, but you couldn't stand him. When he realized that while your family had some wealth and power, it wasn't enough for his firstborn son. He told him you were nothing more than a phase. A bed warmer. He didn't even wait until you left the room to voice his disdain.
Bucky didn't bring you around much after that, which you didn't object to. The one meeting was more than enough. He assured you that the wedge between him and his father started long before you entered the picture, especially after the death of his mother. He also promised his dad's opinion wouldn't change a thing about how he felt and that his mom would've adored you.
“I take it he didn't arrange for you to marry me?” You asked, doing your best to crack a smile.
He didn't smile back. He hardly looked at you.
“Sophia Genovese is going to be my wife,” he answered neutrally, but his jaw clenched. “Her engagement fell through, so my dad arranged for me to take her ex-fiance's place.”
Bucky mentioned her in passing. Not only did she come from an extremely powerful family, but she was beautiful, sophisticated, and as close to perfection as anyone could get. His dad had everything to gain from a marriage like that.
Everything he couldn't get with you.
“You can say 'no', right?” You asked hopefully. Stupidly. “You don't have to go through with it.”
“Yeah, I do,” he said, pushing himself up as your stomach churned. “Which is why we can't see each other anymore.”
Your world didn't fall to pieces. Instead, you floated slowly in the air. Bucky remained on the ground as you drifted away, just out of reach when you tried to touch him. That was when you felt the first crack in the foundation.
A slow destruction with the man you love at the root.
“No. No. We're not breaking up,” you said.
“We have to,” he said, still not facing you.
It took you a moment to get to your feet with how your head spun. “No, we don't. I-I can talk to your dad? I know he doesn't want you to be with me, but if you don't want to marry her-”
“Talk to my dad?” He cut you off as he turned toward you, a flash of panic in his eyes before a soft laugh crept from his throat. “Are you kidding?”
“No, I'm not. Maybe he can see reason?“ You asked as he shook his head. “Or we could leave.“
“Leave?” He repeated, looking down at your hand as you reached out for him. The panic you saw in his eyes moments ago resurfaced, which he quickly blinked away to replace his expression with a hardened mask. “Are you asking me to choose between you and my family?”
“We can go anywhere we want. I don't care where,” you said. You'd live in a shack as long as it was with him. “And I'm not asking you to choose between me and your dad. If anything, I'm asking you to choose love. It wouldn't be forever if we left. It would be until we can figure it out.”
“There's nothing for us to figure out. The deal is done,” he said dismissively, jerking his hand away so quickly you almost fell forward. He couldn't mean that. “And so are we.”
You wished for a moment that you could go numb to not feel the piercing pain in your heart.
Why isn't he fighting for me? For us?
“Bucky, we love each other,” you whispered as tears sprang to your eyes.
“And we were naive to think we could be together,” he stated, his voice void of any emotion.
You could take rage or sorrow, but not his indifference.
“So, that's it?” You asked as the tears spilled over. “You're giving up on us? You're walking away?”
“It's better this way,” he said, hesitating as he lifted his hand. He quickly dropped it when you began to wipe at your cheeks. “I know you don't think that now, but it is. You'll find someone who can be with you and I'll find a way to make it work with Sophia.”
“Oh, yeah, I'm sure you'll find it really easy to make it work since she's perfect,” you mumbled. You tried to hold it together, but the bitterness crept in as more tears fell. “Don't make it seem like you're getting the raw end of the deal when you're not the one ending up alone.”
Bucky flinched and you savored that he showed some sort of emotion. “I owe it to her to try.”
“Oh, you owe her that? What about the future you promised me? A home? Marriage? A family? Was it all bullshit?!” You snapped, shoving his chest with both hands. You were pushing him more than physically, but you were past the point of caring. “Why are you giving up on us? Why aren't you trying?!”
“Because there's no point! This was never going to work!” He shouted, raising his voice for the first time and making you jump back. He never yelled at you. You never expected him to break your heart either. “You don't belong in my world. You never did and you never will.”
The room spun as you tried to take a breath. It wasn't like you were floating anymore. You were crashing down, the shards of his words piercing you so deep you weren't sure you'd ever get them out.
I was a phase. A bed warmer. I'm not worth fighting for. I never was.
Whatever wounded sound you made had Bucky stepping toward you. “Fuck, I'm sorry.”
“Get out,” you ordered, not recognizing the sound of your own voice as you moved out of his reach. “You said we're done, so we're done.”
His eyes flickered with sadness when he invaded your space. Why did he suddenly want to be close to you? “I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that.”
“Yes, you did. And I don't want your bullshit apologies. I want you gone,” you hissed, pushing him again. He didn't budge. “Get out. Get out! Get…” you steadied yourself, using every ounce of power you could manage to push him out of your home and life. “OUT!”
He didn't say a word or put up a fight when the shoves turned to smacks against his chest. Maybe he felt like he deserved your wrath. That broke you a little more. You weren't sure how long it took to shove him toward the door, but it exhausted you by the end of it. You wanted to curl into yourself and cry until there were no tears left.
“I love you, Bucky. I hope you have a nice life.”
His mouth fell open as you shut the door in his face.
As you sank to the floor, you realized he hadn't said he loved you once during the time he was there.
Love is sealed by a kiss, but he broke it with his words.
Maybe he never loved you at all.
“I think we can all agree that Barnes can be an idiot,” Natasha said, moving out of your way as you walked toward the bathroom.
“Is an idiot,” Yelena corrected.
“But whatever he said to hurt you, it was to push you away.”
“Mission accomplished,” you mumbled.
Bucky knew how to hurt people. He also knew you better than anyone, which meant he knew exactly where to put the knife in and twist it. You never expected him to inflict any sort of pain on you though because he swore he wouldn't.
Why do people make promises only to break them? Promises made in love should not be broken.
“Look, he hasn't been the easiest person to be around since he stopped seeing you. Everyone has noticed, even his father. He needs to see you, okay?” Natasha explained, gently nudging you through the door before you could reply. “Quick shower and we'll help you get ready.”
“You don't have to dress me. I'm not a child,” you snapped, slamming the door so you were left alone.
Guilt swirled in your gut as you stripped and went to the shower. You hadn't meant to snap when she was only trying to help. Or was she trying to help James? You didn't know anymore.
The cascading water did little to soothe you as you tried to push your despair aside. You hadn't allowed yourself to properly grieve from your broken heart. Why couldn't you just get over the man who abandoned you? Why did you have to keep loving him?
“Don't fall asleep in there!” Yelena shouted, almost making you slip on the tile as you shut the water off. “And no window escape.”
You thought about it more as you dried off. If Bucky went through with the wedding, it would be the end of the line. And maybe this would be the closure you needed to move on.
Though the love you have for him will never fade.
“Okay,” you said as you walked out of the bathroom in your room. “If you two are really going to make me go, I want to look perfect. Make him see what he's missing.”
“Don't worry. We'll make him look,” Yelena promised, nodding to your bed where the dress was waiting for you.
It wasn't exactly a wedding dress, but it was beautiful. It looked like the dress you wore on your first date with Bucky, only fancier. You didn't want to know where they got it or how they decided to pick that.
In the back of your mind though, you wondered if it was from Bucky.
“Thank you,” Natasha whispered.
“Don't thank me yet,” you said as you sat down at your vanity.
If you squinted, you could pretend they were getting you ready for your wedding day.
Maybe in another life, we could have had our happy ending, Bucky.
Natasha and Yelena should have become personal stylists or makeup artists. You almost suggested they should do it as a side hustle. They managed to transform you while still making you look like you.
Maybe you were a phoenix, burnt only to rise from the ashes anew.
“He'll look,” Yelena promised again as she slipped a ruby necklace around your neck. “Finishing touch.”
You brushed a finger along one of the gems, trying to shake the memory of when you received it. Bucky had given you the necklace at his private birthday dinner. When you reminded him that he was supposed to receive gifts on his birthday and not give them, he said he had the best gift of all with you. He said it again after he made love to you.
The only thing you wore was the necklace.
“I know heaven's a thing. I go there when you touch me, honey.“
“Isn't this a bit much?” You asked.
Natasha met your gaze in the mirror. “We should go,” she said, ignoring your question.
The girls effectively boxed you in as they led you to the limo, a subtle reminder not to run. Even in heels, they'd catch you. They were that good.
Clint wordlessly opened the car door, but gave you a sympathetic nod as he helped you in. Observant and sometimes sarcastic, you almost wish he would've said something. Maybe it was better that he kept quiet.
What comfort would he be able to provide you with?
Once again, Natasha and Yelena were on each side of you as you sat in the middle seat.
“Do you plan on sitting beside me at the wedding, too?” You asked, staring straight ahead once Clint got in and took off.
“Yelena will sit with you. I'm standing,” Natasha answered.
You weren't sure what to make of that. Maybe Sophia decided to have her in the wedding party in some capacity. Or maybe she'd keep watch to make sure there was no trouble on Bucky's special day.
“Guess I'm not allowed to speak when asked if anyone has any objections?”
“You can if you want to cause a scene,” Yelena said, shrugging a bit. You were considering it. “Again. Could be fun.”
“Stop being a bad influence,” Natasha warned when you snorted. “We'll have the car ready for you to go once you're allowed to leave.”
“Allowed? I need permission to leave?” You asked. “And where am I going?”
“Wherever you want,” she replied.
You would likely go home for the time being. Instead of sulking, maybe you could take steps toward leaving the city for good. A new job, a new apartment.
It was up to you to create your own happy ending.
One that you deserved.
“We'll see if I actually make it through the ceremony first,” you said.
Silence stretched on in the vehicle after that. You'd take the quiet over useless small talk, but you found it more difficult to breathe as you got closer to the venue. It was like a vice closed around your throat. Natasha reached over and gave your hand a squeeze when you sniffled. Yelena did the same with your other hand. It was comforting, even if they were the ones forcing you to endure this day.
“Do any of you plan to stop the wedding?” You asked, your curiosity getting the better of you. Was that why they were so adamant that you had to attend? The glimmer of hope within you wanted that to be the case.
You made eye contact with Clint in the rearview mirror before he focused on the road ahead. You didn’t dare glance at the girls, but you felt the weight of the answer before Natasha said, “No.”
As quickly as your hope grew, it disintegrated. It fell into the soil within your soul, ready to grow again when you were naive enough to believe. It was silly to ask in the first place.
“What’s the point of dolling me up then if nothing is going to change?”
“To make him look,” Yelena reminded you. “And maybe you’ll see your future husband today.”
Silence resumed again after that, but it wasn’t long before the car approached a private entrance. You half expected that the wedding would be at a church when you received the invitation, but it was an address you didn’t recognize. Maybe it would be their new home.
You felt slightly ill once the car came to a stop, Yelena helping you out before Clint had a chance to come around and open the door. You saw a massive and beautiful estate in front of you surrounded by a rich landscape. Gazing at the front door where two guards stood, you didn't have to step inside to know that the place was elegant with meticulous attention to detail.
Somewhere you didn't belong.
Forcing a smile on your face as Natasha urged you to move forward, she said something you couldn't make out to the larger of the two guards. His eyes settled on you only for a moment before he let you through and didn't bother to look in your clutch to see if you had a weapon. Like you would use one anyway, but you thought they'd be more careful.
I'm clearly not a threat.
It was quieter than you expected as you stood in the entrance way, a couple of women bustling by with flowers. No way Bucky chose those himself. They were far from his favorite.
“The ceremony is going to take place in the back garden,” Natasha explained. “The fence will have guards in case anyone tries to get in.”
“Or get out,” Yelena added.
“I need to have a quick chat with Steve,” Natasha said. Steve Rogers, Bucky's best friend and heir to the Rogers empire, was every bit as handsome and ruthless as his best friend. “Yelena will take you to your seat shortly. Try not to wander off.”
You scoffed as you gestured in front of you. “Considering I have no clue where I'm going, I'll stay here.”
Natasha smirked before she left, the echo of her heels eventually fading once she was out of sight.
“Stand up straight,” Yelena ordered, pressing against your back. “Show no fear.”
“Why?” You asked before you spotted a large man walk toward you, two men hot on his heels.
George Barnes.
“Well, well. You made it. I wish I could say it was nice to see you,” he said, his gaze lingering on your necklace as you bristled. You covered the jewelry with your hand, worried he might rip it off. You wouldn't allow him to take that away. “At least you had the decency to not wear white. Would've been extremely tacky and useless to try and upstage Sophia.”
You knew he was trying to get under your skin at the mention of his soon-to-be daughter-in-law. “Believe me, Mr. Barnes, the feeling is mutual. Honestly, I’d be happy to live out the rest of my life without us having to cross paths,” you said, giving him a sweet smile when his eye twitched. He likely wasn't used to women insulting him. “But if you want me to leave-”
“Nonsense. I want you to witness a union of power. Something you’ll never have,” he boasted, making a show of smoothing out his expensive jacket. “I also hope you're on some form of birth control since James plans to take you as a mistress. He doesn't need any bastards running around now, does he?”
You gaped at him, trying to figure out if he was kidding. “Just so we're clear, I'm good enough for your son to fuck, but not marry or have his kids?”
“I'm glad we understand each other.”
“I don't understand,” you said, your voice cracking as Yelena took a step closer to your side. “Your son loved me.”
Maybe part of him still does.
“It isn't for you to understand why I do what I do. What you need to understand is your place,” he snarled in a low voice as he crowded your space. You almost stepped back, but he probably wanted you to be afraid and you weren't about to let that show. “All that work I put into my son and you almost unraveled it. Even after leaving you, he's been difficult. Sullen.”
“I'm so sorry to hear that,” you said, elated that he pretty much confirmed that Bucky missed you.
“I'm sure you are. But that'll change. He's going to marry Sophia and make my empire even stronger than before. And I hope you cry yourself to sleep knowing he didn't choose you in the end.”
Rage pulsed through your veins at the audacity of the grinning man in front of you. “Are you done talking? As much as I'm sure you love the sound of your own voice, I'm tired of hearing it,” you said, his smile slowly fading from his face when you didn't break down. “And when you go to Hell, I hope you aren't burned by the flames. I hope you drown in the tears of everyone you ever wronged. And when you ask for their help to save you, they'll watch you sink to the bottom. Your son included.”
Under different circumstances, the shade of red Mr. Barnes turned would’ve been comical. A man who liked to dish it out, but was unable to take someone throwing it back at him. Maybe he had power in name, but he was weak in heart. “You little bitch,” he snarled, raising his hand.
You didn't flinch or look away from his rage-filled eyes as you braced yourself from the impact. Maybe you shouldn't have run your mouth, but you didn't care. Let him hit you. Let him prove himself to be the monster you believed him to be, especially after he insulted you first.
But the blow didn't land. Yelena caught his arm before it could. Neither of the men behind him reached for a weapon nor did they make a move to throw you out. Were they waiting for a signal from their boss?
“No fighting,” she calmly spoke, using her other arm to help you back away. “Your rule today, right, Mr. Barnes?”
“Belova,” he said through his teeth, yanking his arm back. You wondered what kind of trouble she'd get in for helping you. She didn't deserve it. “That rule is-”
“No fighting,” she said again, nodding to you. “I made her look pretty. No messing up her makeup.”
“She looks like a whore,” he said.
“I think she looks pretty,” Yelena said with a shrug before she turned her attention back to you. “Down the left hall. Second to last door on the right. Wait there for me.”
“Thank you, Yelena,” you whispered.
Mr. Barnes grabbed your arm as you tried to walk by. “When my son seeks you out to take you as a mistress, you will say yes. Be that as long as he does what needs to be done. Keep his bed warm and his dick wet, but don't think for a second that you'll be anything more than a whore.”
You calmly shook him off, even as your stomach turned. To speak so callously of you, of Bucky, of what you meant to each other. To suggest that you would be a kept woman. How did a man like Bucky spawn from someone as disgusting as him?
“Mr. Barnes, you may have power and you may think you have control over your son, but you're nothing more than a pathetic excuse of a man who gets off on bullying people you deem beneath you. I hope your neck breaks from looking down on me.”
A shaky breath left your lungs as you quickly walked past the men and went down the left hall as instructed, not looking back to see if anyone went after you. It was careless to run your mouth again, but you just had to get the last word in. What the hell was that man going to do to you once the wedding was over? Maybe he wouldn't do anything at all. Surely he had bigger fish to fry.
The hall seemed to stretch on and you wondered why Yelena sent you down here. Was it a restroom? She obviously knew the estate well enough if she-
Your breath stopped as Bucky walked out of the last room on the left, his gaze landing on you as you froze. It was cliche that your heart skipped a beat, but how could it not? This was the first time you had seen him in person since that fateful day and he looked every bit as handsome as before. Between the black tuxedo tailored to perfection, trimmed beard, and not a single hair out of place, he played the part of the son who would one day rule the city. Except for his cerulean eyes.
They were lined in pain.
“You're here,” he breathed, like he couldn't believe you were in front of him.
You wished you felt numb as you looked at him. This was the man who once told you he'd burn the world if anything ever happened to you. The fire within him was long snuffed out and he took the warmth with him. You were tired of feeling cold.
And you were so tired.
“Not by choice,” you said, proud that your voice stayed steady as he moved toward you.
“You look so breathtaking,” he said, like he was seeing you for the first time. As much as you liked his gaze sweeping over you, it hurt. “You're wearing my necklace.”
“Natasha and Yelena's idea,” you told him, not returning the compliment by telling him how handsome he looked. “Apparently you needed me today, so here I am.”
He lifted his hand as if to touch you before he lowered it. “I do need you.”
Your gut wrenched, your heart and mind raging over whether or not to believe him. “I'm sorry, but I don't exactly see how that's possible. You dumped me. You're getting married. Chapter closed. Move out of my way, James. Please.”
He flinched at the use of his first name, but recovered quickly as he stopped you from moving around him. Your shoulders tensed when he touched your arm, the familiar jolt of electricity running through your veins at the contact. You wanted to resent him for still making you feel something, but how could you when he made you feel alive? Even the crushing weight of the emotions was a reminder that you didn't break.
In many ways, he helped you become stronger.
“You're going to try and sneak out,” he guessed. You didn't disagree. “Don't. You can't leave yet.”
“Yes, I can. I'm not one of your subordinates or soldiers or whatever the hell you call them. And if you won't get out of my way, I'll just go back the way I came. Yelena will find me.”
Before you could protest, he gripped your arm a bit tighter and dragged you into the very room Yelena sent you to. It appeared to be a study, which you wish you could've taken the time to appreciate. You almost screamed for help, but who the hell would come to your rescue?
This was Bucky's world and you were just a pawn in it.
“Let go of me!” You demanded as your clutch fell to the ground, smacking his hand hard enough for him to loosen his hold. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“I'm sorry,” he said.
“Sorry for what exactly? Making me come here today or breaking my heart? Or maybe you're apologizing for your dad and his clear disdain for me? It doesn't matter because I don't care.”
“I care. You don't understand,” he said, effectively blocking the door when you tried to get past him. His eyes flashed with a dangerous glint, making you take a step back. “Wait. You saw my dad? What the fuck did he say to you?”
He looks like he's about to commit a murder.
“No, I don't understand. Not your father or this situation. I likely never will,” you said, clenching and unclenching your fists. Nothing could ground you. “He said you planned to take me as a mistress.”
Bucky's jaw clenched. “That's what he told you?”
“Yes, among other things. Is that why you wanted me here today? To make that offer?” You answered, your palm itching. Was that why Natasha and Yelena really forced you to come to this? “You know what? Don't answer that. I'd be too tempted to smack you.”
“I've already beat myself up for the both of us,” he muttered.
“I'll save you the trouble of asking: No, I won't be your mistress. I won't stay here and be your whore. I'm sorry,” you said.
Whether or not he'd grow to care for Sophia or if he was doing this strictly out of orders from George, he would be a married man at the end of the day. Even if there was a chance down the road that he would divorce Sophia, could you condone carrying on an affair with him? Could you contribute to him breaking his vows? Both of you deserved better than that.
He ran a hand through his hair and messed up the style. “I'm asking you to forgive me at your own pace and stay,” he said.
He sounded sincere and on the edge of breaking. You were there with him. “I can forgive you, but you're still marrying someone else, Bucky. And what would we be if I stayed? Friends? We can't be friends.”
He grabbed you by the shoulders when you attempted to step around him again, a wild look in his eyes. You couldn't recall ever seeing him so untamed. “You really think I want this? That I would want anyone besides you?”
Tears filled your eyes by that point, wishing that were true. “Yes! You broke my heart, remember? You said I didn't belong in your world and that you owed it to Sophia to try. Those were your words. So, no, I don't think you want me. At least not all of me.”
“I broke up with you because I had to. I know I was hurtful, but I had to keep you from going after me,” he said, your chest tightening when he pulled you closer. “If you leave now, I know you'll run.”
Would you chase me if I tried to run?
“So what if I do? I'm not yours anymore.”
“You'll always be mine,” he spoke with such reverence that your lower lip quivered. “Just like I'm still yours.”
“Fuck you, James,” you seethed, struggling in his grasp as a tear slid down your cheek. You cried so many tears because of him and you were ready to be finished. “This is cruel and you know it.”
“I know you hate me-”
“That's just it. I don't hate you. I don't think I ever could,” you said, your chest heaving as you tried not to choke on a sob. “But you know what I want? My heart. You took it from me and I want it back, along with my love for you. Every smile, every laugh, every kiss. Give it all back and let me go.”
“I won't do that,” he whispered after a beat. “I love you too much.”
Bucky reached up to cup your cheek and draw you closer, his breath fanning over your lips as you trembled. You wanted so desperately to meet him halfway, but how could you cross that line after vehemently denying that possibility? Would it shatter your heart all over again if you did?
“We can't,” you whispered when his mouth brushed against yours, a small taste of the now forbidden spreading through you like a wildfire. But your mind urged you to lean back even as your heart screamed for you to give in. “Bucky, we can't.”
“Yes, we can. Please,” he gently argued, your heart pounding over the voice in your head as he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your head spun when you inhaled, his cologne adding to the dizzying feeling as he moved his mouth to the other side. “We love each other.”
You hesitated once more before you sighed in resignation. You did love Bucky. It may have been wrong at the moment, but he had the key to your heart. And you would allow him to unlock it one last time.
You weren't sure who leaned in first this time, but your mouths met in a familiar dance. He led as he parted your lips with his tongue and you followed with a moan. Eagerly gripping his hair, uncaring that he'd have to fix it later, you melted into him and prayed he'd catch you if you fell.
“Please, Bucky,” you whispered as his mouth left a warm trail of open mouthed kisses along your neck.
You didn't know what you were pleading for as he backed you against a wall. Was it for him to let you go? To fight for you? Or to take you to paradise one last time?
Love me like you're going to lose me.
“I love you so fucking much,” he murmured, your heart pounding as he moved his hand along your chest. His fingertips dragged along the necklace, a shackle of the ownership he had over you. One you'd wear forever if he only asked. “Killed me to be apart from you, doll. Hated every second of it.”
Guilt began to sink in. You just told him you wouldn't be a kept woman, but you allowed him to kiss you. Touch you. Was it because he hadn't gone through with the wedding yet? Was there a chance he'd back out of it?
“You hurt me,” you reminded him, but didn't stop him from gliding his hand down your torso. “You broke my heart.”
“I had to,” he said again. You expected him to say more, but he only hiked your dress up and dragged your underwear down far enough that you could spread your legs. And you didn't need to pour more salt in the open wound by saying again that he hurt you. He knew. “I'm sorry.”
“Then show me how sorry you are,” you demanded, your hands shaky as they reached for his belt. You didn't have much time. “Even if someone walks in-”
“I'm not stopping,” he said, helping you with his pants. You wrapped a hand around his cock the second it sprang free, the familiar hardness only making the ache inside you grow. You needed to feel him. “I don't care if the world's on fire. Won't stop me from being inside you.”
“Just shut up and fuck me.”
He chuckled as he pressed his lips to yours, warmth blooming from your core when his fingers teased your folds. One touch and you melted, your pussy wet and ready for him to make himself at home again. He swallowed down your moan as he explored, like he was memorizing you all over again.
“Bucky,” you whined as he pulled his fingers away.
“I've got you.”
Your hands flew to his shoulders as he wrapped one of your legs around him. You dug your fingers in almost hard enough to bruise him as he lined himself up. Part of you wished you could leave your mark on him. Perhaps you had in his heart, a claim that no one else could see but one you both felt.
Heart and soul.
Your heart pounded as he slowly buried himself deep, relishing in the burn from the stretch. The breath punched out of your lungs as you surrounded him, his cock filling you to your limit. It was far from the first time he had you, but it felt even better than before. More raw, passionate. You wanted him to stay inside you and never leave.
Clenching around him was the wordless order for him to move, almost afraid to open your mouth and speak. You were afraid if you did that he'd slip through your fingers. That this would be just a dream and you'd wake up alone again.
“Fuck, I love you. Wanna make you feel good,” he moaned, his eyes hazy with pleasure and face a mask of euphoria at his movements. It was a beautiful sight. One you wanted to remember for the rest of your life. “Wish I could tear your dress open and get my hands on your gorgeous tits.”
“Oh, fuck,” you moaned, pushing your chest forward and wishing for the same. You wanted him to pinch your nipples and soothe the sting with his tongue.
“Always so pretty when you play with them, especially when I fuck you with my tongue,” he went on, canting his hips to thrust deeper. He always made you feel beautiful no matter how he had you. “Tell me you love me.”
You bit your lip, realizing that he begged to hear it. A man as strong as him pleading for your love nearly tore you apart. “I love you, Bucky,” you panted, your chest rising faster as you moved your hips down.
His eyes devoured you, devotion and adoration in his gaze before he brushed his nose against yours. You shared one breath as you moved together, the slow and firm motions making you leak around him. His hand came to the side of your face, tilting your head to kiss you. It made your heart flutter wildly, the slide of his lips and tongue sending shivers down your spine.
It left you dizzy, like you were unable to breathe.
“Missed this sweet cunt,” he grunted, reaching under your dress as he picked up the pace. You didn't have to beg for him to touch you since his thumb found and teased your clit. “Missed how tight you got around me right before I came inside you.”
“Come in me,” you whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I need it.”
“I don't wanna stop,” he groaned as you trembled, the head of his cock hitting that spot inside you that made you see stars. He was taking you to heaven. “I can't. We can't be done.”
You shut your eyes as you rested your head against his, quiet whines falling from your lips as he kept rubbing your bundle of nerves. You wanted to whisper that it wasn't the end. That was the beginning of a new path after being apart. But that wasn't your destiny. He was meant to rule with another queen.
“Please, Bucky. I'm close,” you said, opening your eyes as heat coiled in your gut. “Come with me. Show me you love me.”
One last time.
Placing a hand on his chest to feel the beat of his heart, you let yourself fall over the precipice. Your blood turned to lava in your veins as you breathed his name like a prayer. He recited a litany of praise in return as you clamped around him, doing your best to soak up every word as your spirit threatened to float away. Twisting your fingers in his hair, you didn't want it to end either.
“Fuck. I love you,” he groaned as he emptied himself inside you, his lips moving along your chin, lips, cheeks, anywhere he could reach.
You clung to him as he pulled out of you, some of his release sliding out with yours as he caught his breath. You couldn't do more than make a small noise as he lowered your leg and bent down to pull your underwear back up. They were ruined now. You were ruined.
“You really are so fucking beautiful,” he said, tucking himself back into his pants as you braced yourself against the wall.
“And you are so fucking-”
“James?” An unfamiliar voice spoke, nearly making you collapse.
Oh, shit.
“Fuck,” he huffed, both of you turning your heads toward the open door.
The post-sex afterglow disappeared as a woman in an elegant bridal gown stepped inside and closed the door, her beautiful face twisted in disgust as she stared at Bucky. Even in anger, Sophia Genovese was a vision. You put a hand to your stomach, willing yourself not to get sick as she turned her gaze toward you, the anger visibly lessening. Choice or not, this was Bucky's fiancé. You were the other woman. Did it matter to her that you loved him? Did she care for him? Maybe George was right about you after all.
You were a whore.
“You really couldn't keep it in your pants until after the ceremony?_ She asked, turning an unimpressed stare back on Bucky. “Honestly, James. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” Bucky asked, helping you fix your dress with gentle hands and a soft kiss to your forehead. “You're supposed to be in the east wing.”
“And you're supposed to be ready for the ceremony and not sticking your dick in her,” she said harshly enough to make you wince. “Simple instructions that you should’ve been able to follow. Or can you not comprehend basic orders?”
“Shut up, Sophia,” he snapped, zipping up his pants as she rolled her eyes.
There was no lost love between them, but you still felt terrible as you looked at the woman. “I'm sorry,” you said softly. “I love him, but that’s no excuse.”
“You’re sorry for what? For fucking a man you love? Though I don't know why you love him. He's an idiot,” she scoffed, shooing Bucky out of her way. You stood your ground as she walked close, but she didn't slap you as you expected. She turned her back to you. “Lace up my dress so my tits don’t fall out of this.”
What?
It took a second for you to move, but you carefully laced her bodice. A beautiful gown fit for a queen. “I really am-”
“Save it. I don't want or need your apologies,” she cut you off before she pointed at Bucky. “But you will get your ass to that altar. I don’t care what it takes. Don't you dare ruin this for me, James, or I'll make your life a living hell.”
Bucky opened his mouth as the door opened again to reveal Yelena. She surveyed the scene before she went over and grabbed your arm. “You stink like sex,” she commented. “We must go.”
With misty eyes, you looked at Bucky. “I know nothing I say will stop you from getting married, but is this really it for us? I become your mistress or nothing at all?”
Is this the end?
Sophia shook her head when he didn't answer you. Yelena didn't speak either. “Mistress? You fucking-”
“Don't say another word,” Bucky ordered her.
“We must go. It's almost time,” Yelena said.
Bucky snuck in one last kiss as a tear slid from your eye, the feel of his lips lingering on yours. “I love you. I’ll never stop.”
That wasn't an answer to your question, but you weren't going to get one, were you? “I love you, too,” you said before Yelena dragged you away, needing him to hear that as your heart began to break again.
“I can’t believe you,” Sophia said before the door slammed shut and blocked out the voices.
Is Sophia going to rip him a new one?
You hastily wiped your cheek and had a hard time keeping up with Yelena as she dragged you down the hall. “I didn’t expect to bump into him,” you told her, like it would excuse your actions.
“You’re lucky no one else saw,” she said as Natasha came into sight near a pair of glass doors. The redhead didn't look pleased. “She slept with him.”
“Yelena,” you hissed, though you were sure the redhead already knew by your guilty expression.
“Of course, you did,” Natasha said under her breath. “Get to your seats.”
“Wait! I really don't know if I can do this,” you told them. Not when you could still feel the sweet burn of Bucky inside you. Not when your heart told you he didn't stop loving you. “How can I watch him marry her?”
Natasha exchanged an unreadable look with her sister. “Because when this is all over, he’s going to need you by his side more than ever.”
Why is everyone being so cryptic and not saying what they need to?
“By his side as his whore you mean,” you said. “Isn't that it?”
Is that really my future?
“As the woman who has his heart,” Yelena said, surprising all three of you. “Come. We must sit.”
Yelena led you outside to the gardens where most of the guests were already settled. It was a smaller amount than you expected, the flowers lining the chairs just as bright as the aisle runner. She practically shoved you into your chair on the groom’s side before she took a seat. The low buzz of excitement around you would’ve been contagious had this been any other wedding.
“I can really leave when this is over, right?” You asked. You weren’t sure you could handle a reception, even if Bucky wanted to see you. Maybe you’d see if Monica, Helen, and Brunhilde could meet up after all. “You won't stop me?”
Yelena gave you a curt nod. “If you really wish. Just know he'll find you,” she said, pouting a bit as she stole a glance at you. “Please, don’t hate us.”
“I could never,” you assured her as she nodded again. No matter what happened after this and even though you despised the situation, you could never hate Natasha or Yelena. They didn’t let too many people close and it was a privilege that you were part of that small circle.
It was like you were in a daze when the ceremony began. You blinked tears away as Bucky entered the garden and stood tall at the altar, looking pristine and powerful once again. He spotted you easily as the music began, ignoring Steve as he walked down the aisle with the maid of honor. You didn’t take your eyes away either.
It was as if you were the only two who existed.
Even as Sophia began to walk down the aisle with her father, he didn’t take his eyes off you. Tears surfaced again when you realized he didn’t actually look happy or proud. Not at all.
He looked trapped.
Bucky was a prisoner in his own life.
Your heartbreak forgotten, you were beginning to understand why Natasha and Yelena said he needed you. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t in control of his life. While your parents gave you freedom, his dad shackled him. And you knew you could never walk away from him. Not when he needed someone in his corner.
Someone who loved him unconditionally.
“It’s okay,” you mouthed to him, smiling through your tears. “I love you.”
A sad smile touched Bucky’s lips before Sophia reached the end of the aisle. His attention was now on his bride-to-be. You could only sit and watch as the man you loved began a new path.
Yelena silently handed you a handkerchief as the officiant began. “Dearly beloved…”
Blocking the words out as Bucky and Sophia faced each other, you looked around at everyone else. Steve appeared a bit stiff, like he was anticipating something going wrong. Natasha and Clint weren’t smiling either. They were observing.
“If there is anyone who feels these two should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace.”
This is it.
“I object,” Bucky spoke.
A small smile appeared on Sophia's face as people around you gasped. “As do I,” she said, handing her bouquet to her maid of honor.
You held your breath when George stood up. “What the hell do you think you're doing?!”
Bucky ignored him as he faced everyone. “I'm in love with someone else,” he announced as you held your breath, holding out his hand and beckoning for you to join him. “She's the one I want to spend my life with and beyond.”
“You unworthy-”
Yelena stood up faster than you could blink, pistol in hand. Where did she pull that out from? “You sit and listen,” she ordered, giving you a rare smile. “You go to him.”
Steve, Natasha, and Clint all had guns aimed at Bucky's father as your mind screamed at you to move. Your legs nearly gave out as you ignored the stares and walked down the aisle, but you made it to Bucky and took his hand. Why weren't any of the other men stepping in to stop you? What the hell was happening?
“This is the only person I want to be with. You will know her name and you will respect her,” Bucky announced, your name falling from his lips a heartbeat later.
It sounded so beautiful.
“Little fucking whore-” George began before Steve moved forward and smacked him in the face with his gun.
Hard.
“Don't use that kind of language when you talk about my best friend's girl,” Steve said, backing away slowly as George spit blood in the grass. “Go ahead, Buck.”
“When my dad ordered me to marry Sophia, I objected because I already found the love of my life. He said if I didn't go through with the ceremony, he would have my girl killed in the most dishonorable way. He threatened the same thing if I tried to leave the city with her or if she tried to interfere in the wedding plans. He even threatened to kill her closest friends,” Bucky said, gripping your hand a little tighter. “So I had to break her heart to protect her.”
You exhaled slowly, almost collapsing. Bucky told you he had to hurt you, but you didn't know your life was at stake. Or the lives of your girlfriends. That was why he looked so frightened that day when you suggested talking to his dad. He would've had all of you killed. The only reason he didn't hurt you today was because Yelena stepped in to defend you.
And deep down he likely thought he already won because today was the wedding day.
“I don't think I ever loved you, but I never hated you more,” Bucky spoke, his eyes narrowed in hate as he finally acknowledged his dad. “I almost killed you then and there, but you had your men watching her, and I had to wait until I swayed them to my side.”
“They're my men,” George snapped, snatching a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his mouth.
Bucky smirked when the guards took their guns out and trained them on his father. “Not anymore.”
That was why no one was jumping in to defend George. They worked for Bucky now. They had a new leader. A better one.
“I didn't want to marry James either. I don't care for him. In fact, I can't stand the sight of him. I have someone I love waiting for me,” Sophia added unapologetically as Natasha pointed her gun at her fuming father. The only reason he wasn't rushing toward the altar was because someone else had a gun against the back of his head. “You'd think after the first engagement fell through that you would've learned your lesson, but it doesn't matter now. James and I both had something to gain from each other. So while you thought we were planning our wedding day, we came to an agreement and made our own plans.”
“We share the power of the city without marriage,” Bucky said, nodding to the surrounding men and women. “We stay in our territories, continue our work, and help each other when necessary.”
“Most importantly, we're free to be with a partner of our choosing with no interference,” Sophia said.
Bucky cocked his head at his dad. “Did you really think me keeping my girl as a mistress would satisfy me? Mom probably rolled over in her grave and I should've cut out your tongue for suggesting it.”
It was like another blow to your chest. You assumed Bucky wanted you as a side piece when he didn't say otherwise. He had to keep up the facade. You should've known better.
Heartbreak made you blind.
“So, I'm afraid none of you are here today to witness a marriage between the Barnes and Genovese families,” Sophia shrugged.
“You're here to witness an execution,” Bucky said, giving his dad a bittersweet smile. “Enjoy rotting in Hell while I'm in heaven on earth with my girl.”
It all happened so fast, but it felt like you witnessed it in slow motion as Bucky shielded you with his left arm. Sophia with a gun in her hand fired a bullet between George's eyes. Bucky shot Sophia's dad in the head as well. In the blink of an eye, the leaders of the Barnes and Genovese families failed to take another breath, their blood spraying on nearby patrons. Taken out by the very children they tried to force a marriage on.
Their own flesh and blood.
But blood isn't always thicker than water.
You felt like you were floating underwater when the guards ordered the bloodied guests to get to their feet. This was the world you knew Bucky lived in, but you hadn’t witnessed him kill anyone until now. In a strange way, you felt closer to him because you saw this. You knew exactly what he was capable of.
And just how far he’d go to keep you by his side.
“Let that be a lesson for anyone who tries to hurt the ones we love,” Sophia said, sweeping over the small crowd with a cool gaze. “Get them inside to clean up,” she ordered the guards, who quickly ushered them away.
I might pass out.
“Take it easy,” Natasha said as Clint brought a chair for you to sit on. “I know this is probably a bit of a shock.”
“You think?” Yelena asked as she put her gun away. “Get her a water. Or vodka.”
“We’ll get this cleaned up. Clint’s getting the car,” Steve assured Bucky, nodding over to you. “Go tend to your girl.”
His girl.
Bucky holstered his gun under his jacket and crouched down, cupping your face with a tender touch. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to leave you in the dark, but I had to. I couldn't risk your safety.”
Sophia hit his shoulder. “You could've told her something! 'I broke her heart to protect her' bullshit,” she said, making your eyebrows shoot up. “I knew you were a bit in the dark, but I didn't realize he didn't clue you in at all.”
That must've been why she was surprised that I questioned being a mistress. She knew it would never get that far, but I didn't.
“I couldn’t warn her with the men watching her. They would’ve known and I had to make it convincing,” he said through his teeth.
“Even after they were on our side? You couldn't have given her a clue?” Sophia pressed.
“Her place was bugged,” Natasha said, causing a wave of nausea to hit you. His dad had your home monitored, too? “George would've known the moment Bucky tipped her off. Today was the first day he stopped having anyone listen in and Yelena and I got rid of the bugs while she showered.”
Oh, my God.
“Everyone had to play along, no matter how much it hurt us to do so,” Bucky said before concern filled his eyes. “Doll?”
You threw your arms around him, feeling a bit dramatic when you dissolved into tears. It was so much to take in, but relief flowed through you as he held you. He didn't go through with the ceremony.
He loved you.
Bucky never stopped loving you.
“I've got you,” he whispered, leaning back to search your face.
“I’m fine. Really,” you said after a second, allowing him to wipe your tears away. Everything made sense now, like why the girls were so eager for you to be here today. “But you really couldn’t have slipped a note to Natasha or Yelena to warn me? Even a, 'Hey, doll. Your place is bugged!' sort of thing?” You added, just to make a little light of the tense situation.
Sophia snorted when Bucky's face fell, like that idea hadn’t dawned on him. “Told you that you’re a fucking idiot,” she said, her eyes more sympathetic as she looked at you. “But I get his apprehension. My father had measurements set in place for me as well to go through with today, including trying to incapacitate the man I want to be with.”
“I'm sorry,” you said. Bucky and Sophia had to endure a lot of pain thanks to the men who should've respected their wishes.
“None of this is your fault. And I got a call before I found you two and he's okay. My men are bringing him to me now that it's safe to do so,” she said, smiling to herself. “The ceremony was the only way to take our fathers out. And I won't shed a tear for that sperm donor now that he's gone.”
“Neither will I,” Bucky said, glaring at his dad’s dead body. “And I’ll spend every day making it up to you, doll. If I could've made him suffer more, I would've. A cut for every tear I made you shed.”
“That's a lot of tears. He would've bled out.”
“It's the least he deserved.”
“I need to get out of this gown,” Sophia said, dismissing one of the men who went to check on her. She slipped the engagement ring off her finger and handed it to Bucky. “Until next time, James. And you? I hope we can become friends, if only to piss him off.”
You laughed a little at the absurdity. She just murdered Bucky’s father and watched as he executed her own dad. And she extended a hand to you in friendship. You had to both admire and fear her. Brunhilde would love her. “I’d like that.”
“Take care of her or I’ll hear about it and I’ll make you sorry,” she warned Bucky before she walked away.
‘I told you that you'd see your future husband here,” Yelena said before Natasha nodded to the bodies. “What? They're not going anywhere.”
“Let's let the lovebirds be,” she said, slipping into the big sister role.
“Thank you for dragging me here. And for everything,” you told them before they let you be. You wished they would've told you, but understood why they couldn't. You wouldn't hold that against them. “Are you okay?” You asked Bucky. Whether or not he hated George, that was his father. Between that, lying to protect you and everything else, it was a lot on his shoulders.
“Do I have you?” He replied, a hopeful look in his eyes.
“You have me,” you said without hesitation.
“Do you love me?”
“Yes, I do,” you smiled. “With all my heart and more.”
“Then I’m okay,” he smiled back.
“I'm sorry for how I acted. I’m so sorry,” you said. It was selfish in so many ways to focus on your own pain. “I should've known-”
“No, don't apologize. You had every right to be upset and couldn't have known that everything was a charade. I'm just thankful you're safe,” he said, taking your left hand and slipping the ring onto your finger. “And I know this isn't romantic at all and you deserve a better proposal, but this ring belonged to my mother. Now it belongs on your finger and you belong at my side. I know the world I'm a part of is dangerous, but I will love, cherish, and protect you above all else.”
You softly laughed. There was nothing conventional about the impromptu proposal, but there was love behind it. Wasn't that all that mattered? “You may need to convince me to say 'yes',” you teased, gazing at your finger.
“You're the main reason I had my dad killed. Is that a good enough reason?” He smiled, his eyes a bright shade of blue when you smiled in return.
“That's true,” you nodded. He committed murder so you could be together. That was love. “And I know this world is a dangerous place, but there's no one else I'd rather be with because I love you, too.”
Bucky didn't hold back as he thoroughly kissed you, leaving your head spinning by the time he stopped. “I'm never letting you go.”
“You better not. And lucky for both of us, you don't have to get rid of any new boyfriends of mine. Though you may need to apologize to my girlfriends, too.”
“Good because I know you thought you were single, but I may have had to kill another man for touching you. And I think two deaths is enough for today,” he half-joked, pressing one more kiss to your lips. You wouldn't dream of anyone else putting their hands on you. “I will apologize to the girls, but first we need to make up for the time apart. Maybe start in the car? Show you why you should marry me?”
“That's a start,” you said as he helped you to your feet. “Where is the car taking us?”
“Our place if that's what you want,” he answered.
Our place sounds like a dream come true.
“We can go anywhere as long as I'm yours.”
“Told you that you're mine,” he smirked. “And I'm yours.”
As his lips met yours, you knew you would always belong to each other.
WHEW! Did you lovelies make it? What do we think? Love and thanks for reading! This was a whirlwind! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#a real work of art right here🥹💖🌸#you will get whiplash but it’s the wonderful kind of whiplash 🥹#10/10 would read again🥹#author rec pookies👻🌸#top tier writer🙂↔️#top tier writing🤞🏾#one of my faves😍
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