#i am just so angry and sad and hurt and ugh

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

the depression is hitting so fucking bad lmao

[citrusitonit]

thers this bitter passive aggressiveness between kids who secretly find a younger kid annoying and its really sad

[nimomo-mo]

Vent

[ilostyou]

.

[knifegremliin]

it feels really unfair to lose another pet not even a full three months after the last one. but i think i'll be okay. at least i knew it was coming.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

So sidekick is like the protective younger sibling (or younger sibling figure) of hero and they find out their older sibling is having a thing with the villain so they go and confront the villain and is all like “you don’t deserve to date my big sibling you sick, nasty villain”

But then villain pulls out the reverse uno card and is all like “oh please as if i don’t know you’re secretly seeing my henchman at the club every Friday night 🤨” then sidekick is like “😦😦they’re your HENCHMAN?-“

“I swear, if you touch them—”

“Oh please, they beg me for it.” They took a sip of their drink and leaned back, satisfied by the entertainment the sidekick gave them.

They were a lot like the hero, the villain realised. An angrier and smaller version of their nemesis.

“Ugh. Ew. Argh— I mean it, if you hurt them, you’re done.” The sidekick raised their finger but the villain couldn’t help but smile.

“What are you gonna do? Uninvite me to your birthday party?”

“You—”

In a sense, it put the villain’s mind at ease. To know that someone was there who was just as worried, just as protective over the hero was comforting. The hero needed to be protected with all their hot-headedness and impulsive decisions.

They could get into a lot of trouble, into a lot of fights. The villain had seen the scars.

“Listen, kid. You’re worried. But I promise, I don’t have any ill intentions.” They tapped their fingers against their glass.

The villain couldn’t get their mind off the hero. It was an actual problem at this point. It was more than a crush, more than dating. The villain was so helplessly devoted they found themselves pathetic.

A few months prior, they would’ve loathed this. But it was easy to forget everything when the hero’s hand was on their arm. When their fingers intertwined. When the hero held onto them when they got scared.

“Sorry, but I don’t exactly trust a villain. Do you think I’m dumb?”

“No. You’re clever and that’s why you’re going to believe me,” the villain said. “If I wanted them dead, they would be. Instead, I am stitching them back together.”

“That’s my job.”

“It shouldn’t be. You’re a kid.”

“I’ve been taking care of them my entire life.”

The villain tilted their head, smiling sadly.

“And that’s rather sad, don’t you think? The amounts of blood you’ve seen, the variety of wounds someone can endure — no child should see something like that.”

This time, the sidekick didn’t say anything, they just stared at the villain’s desk rather angrily. It was frustrating, the villain was fully aware of that.

It must’ve been difficult for the sidekick to realise something was changing, that their role as a caretaker was shifting. It must’ve been difficult not to feel replaced.

“I know you don’t agree with my methods. Neither does my lover. But I can promise you to take care of them, whatever it takes. You don’t have to carry this burden anymore.”

“It’s not a burden,” the sidekick snapped and the villain realised that the sidekick could’ve become a villain easily. They were angry and didn’t know how to handle that anger. They were frustrated and didn’t know how to express it. If they had been around the wrong people at the wrong time, they would’ve made a perfect victim of manipulation.

The villain wasn’t going to let that happen.

“They talk about you all the time,” the villain said. “Brag about your grades and awards.”

The sidekick looked up, eyes wide.

“What?”

“Oh, yeah. You play the violin, don’t you? And you’ve been obsessed with this new video game, aren’t you?”

The sidekick nodded. Suddenly, they seemed a little embarrassed.

“But you also get into a lot of trouble at school. Can’t stand bullies?”

The sidekick shook their head.

“They couldn’t be more proud,” the villain said. For a second, all was quiet. The villain was reminded of a lost childhood, of tears and fear. Of feeling alone, of losing everything. “Listen. They love you more than anything and I cannot change that, even if I wanted to. And I don’t. I guess I am trying to say that there’s two people now who can protect them. Plus, they’re not completely helpless.”

Now, the sidekick smiled softly.

“They’re stupid, though.”

“Oh, totally,” the villain agreed.

“They need me.”

“You need them just as much. They can’t give you that when they’re exhausted and need stitches all the time.”

“…I guess you have a point.” The sidekick let out a big sigh and rubbed their face with their hands. And that was the moment the villain knew they had changed their mind. It wasn’t easy to let go of habits and the villain was fully aware that this wasn’t over, that the sidekick would try to slip back into their role every now and then.

But this was a great start. That kid needed more free time.

“I always do.” The villain grinned. “They’re in good hands, don’t worry. I’ll take over the bloody parts and the tears, you do the video games and laundry fights, alright?”

“Ugh. Fine. That doesn’t mean I like you,” the sidekick said. They stood up, false annoyance all over them.

“Mmm, don’t worry. That’ll kick in later. Now get lost, don’t you have a science project or something to take care of?”

“You’re so annoying.” They were heading for the door but the villain had one last sideswipe. They couldn’t help themselves.

“Oh, tell my henchman to do their work on time when you see them tomorrow, will you?” They tried not to smile when the sidekick turned around.

“Excuse me?” The villain stood up, walked around the table.

“Tomorrow at the club, I mean. I’ve heard you’re quite the wildcards together.”

“Hey, what do you mean, your henchman?”

“Just try not to devour each other in front of other people, I don’t want to hear anything about that.”

The villain gave them a smile and pushed them gently out of the room.

“Woah, wait, hey—”

“Bye bye.” They closed the door of their office with a cheery demeanour. They’d always been a sucker for a little drama.

pt. 2

[livelaughlovesubs]

Hello! Welcome, 🪷 anon, I’m always happy about having new anons. Also, as you’ve noticed now, I’m not very quick to respond to asks… hopefully I didn’t make you wait too long (I know it’s been two months I’m sorry)

Dom!reader x sub!chuuya

Warning: handjob, edging, thigh slapping (?), cuffs, nipple play

“What do you say?” “Fuck, faster.” “Wrong answer.”

Chuuya laid on his back on the mattress, his arm were above his head and wrists cuffed together. You sat next to him and slowly moved your hand along his shaft. So slow actually that he weren’t sure if you were moving your hand. “Can’t you just finish this quickly? I don’t have time for your games.” The redhead uttered, urging you to go faster. “Who’s the one playing games? With your attitude you don’t get to order me around.” Then you pinched his nipples. “Argh- ugh! This hurts.” Sweat started to form on his forehead, he pulled an hesitant look. “That’s what bad boys get.” You smirked at him, hand stopping around his tip and using your fingertips to rub it.

“Haah… mhm, more, it feels good.” He demanded while he blushed more and more. “That’s not how you ask for something.” “Just do it.” You sighed, then spoke in a sad tone, “you still have a lot to learn huh.” And used the hand pleasuring him to slap his thighs, leaving a red imprint behind. “Huu-nghH? No- keep touching me.” This irritated him, his member was throbbing in an angry shade of red. “I am touching you though?” You kept slapping his thighs, they were soft and covered in lube and precum. “You..! I mean, ugh! You annoying-” “shhh, chuuya, think about what you are going to say and the consequences first.” Grinning from ear to ear as you whispered a warning, he knew you meant every word you said.

The boy bit his lips, arguing with his own pride whether or not he should just give in. Instead giving him some time to think, you slapped his thighs again and commented, “I’m getting sleepy at this point~” a sense of embarrassment washed over him, were you implying that he was boring? “Fine! ..please touch me…there.” It was adorable how he raised his voice so much only to whisper the main part. Should you be nice or mean today? He looks like he is going to cry if you tease him any more. That wouldn’t be a bad thing though.

You still decided to be understanding and touched his dick again, yearning a low gasp from the male. “There there, you can be good if you want to huh?” He ignored your remark, knowing better than to talk back when in this state. “More” chuuya mumbled, blinking a few times before hastily adding a please to his sentence. “Aha~ if you ask so nicely.” Your motions became a bit faster like what he requested, and you kissed his lips passionately. It surprised him a little, but he returned the kiss.

“If you are being good you’ll also get a reward.” You said in a playful manner, watching his body tremble with every touch. It tingled wherever your skin made contact with his, and it made his heart work an extra shift. The blood rushed to his head and lower body, it made him feel weak everywhere else. His arms, his knees and legs… more precum dripped down his member, creating an erotic view for you. “How adorable you are right now, hehe.” You chuckled at him, he looked like he was going to melt. “Shut up, ugh-hnn..” the boy ordered, totally ashamed of this situation, but also unbelievably aroused.

“Seems like you still have a foul mouth.” A disappointed expression on your face as your pace slowed down again. “Hu-?! Why you! Mhm, move faster god damn it.” Ah, seems like he was close. “Tsk tsk, not like that.” You advised him, then started to suck on his breast. “Hmm?! Mhm! Ga-ahhh..” whimpers escaped his lips at the newfound pleasure. He loved this, even if his words said something else. A dreamy look was on his face, he felt hot and on the verge of exploding. Your touch felt really pleasant against his burning skin. The bliss he felt was making his mind go blank.

“Ah-haaa.. I want to cum.” Chuuya said, he probably didn’t notice himself that he said this. You moved away from his now swollen nipple and licked your lips, observing the mess he (or you) made. His hair stuck to his reddish face, his eyes exposing his desires. Arms still raised over his head and wrists cuffed together, bruises were starting to form there due to him thrashing around. You could feel his twitching in your hand, probably very close to finishing. “Was that a question or command?” You asked him, but you weren’t sure if he understood you with how pleasure struck he looked.

“Mhm.. please, I can’t- anymore.” He begged, then pleaded again, “please, I wanna cum…hnNgg.” Some tears rolled down his already beautiful face, decorating it further. Your lovely partner looked like a helpless deer, so vulnerable and small you just loved this. “Hmm, I don’t know, have you been good enough?” Without thinking about it, he instantly replied, “yes- nghh! Please, ah, pleaasee.” You thought about it, he wasn’t being very good this time, but he was being pretty obedient towards the end. Maybe you should grant it to him? Or should you punish him a little longer? He started to cry when you still didn’t raise your pace, now going back to being a brat again. The boy started to squirm around and thrust his hips, all while whining “ughhh! Fuck, I can’t, mhm, please faster…”

Chuuya gazed at you with pitiful eyes and drool hanging from his lips, his eyes widened when he saw your expression. You were clearly enjoying this, you were enjoying yourself so much it was almost scary. A gentle yet terrifying smile appeared on your features, hinting at your decision. “Oh chuuya, you really ruined your chance with that one.”

[xdacted]

The art of sibling hood

Paring: sister!Reader & Charles Leclerc

Warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 3,815

Status: Complete

***Request made by reader***

Summer break offers us a sliver of peace. 

No teams are calling, no coaches screaming, no clients to take care of - there is nothing but family. For a few weeks out of the year, all we have is each other. I can’t ask for anything better. 

We all gather at our mother’s house, hiding away there with her. It’s nice, to all be under the same roof again, we haven’t been since Lorenzo first moved out. It only worsened when I decided to take my training to France. 16 years of living under one roof was gone in an instant. We had lived together our entire lives until that point. 

It was like losing a piece of myself. 

But then, after the sadness rolled away, I was filled with so much joy. To know that both Charles and Arthur were chasing their dream, to see them every weekend battling it out on the track. Though my mother refused to watch, I always did. 

But there is always more I want to know, more I want to see. I can’t help myself from asking questions. The countries they see, the people they meet - it’s a world I’ll never know. I almost got involved, my father put me in karting as a child, but it was never my passion. Not the way it was with Arthur and Charles. I found my calling in school. 

At six, I was sitting among my classmates in the gymnasium, watching as our instructor introduced the sport of fencing. He was trying to start a club, with a school as small as ours, it wasn’t very likely to happen. 

He brandished the swords, explaining the rules. My friend, Anies, had fallen asleep on my shoulder, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I was transfixed, hooked. That day, I ran home, with the club papers in my hand and begged my parents.

At first, Papa was hesitant, telling me that this sport was a fighting spot - I wasn’t a ‘fighting girl’. But I pleaded, hooking my arms around his neck and staring up at him. This was my dream. Fencing was racing to me. Fencing was everything. 

What I didn’t understand was that fencing was also incredibly expensive. With two children karting and one in fencing, I remember the night I caught Mum and Papa talking it over, they couldn’t afford it. 

I was lucky enough to be given a scholarship by a fencing club, I would have the funding to chase my dream. Arthur, however, was not so lucky. I remember how he cried, screaming and howling into his pillow. He mourned the loss of his sport, but he was never angry. Just sad. 

I shake off the memories when Charles calls my name. 

“What?”

He looks at me, staring at me from his seat on the floor, arms holding his knees close to him. He and Arthur are playing some card game they explained more than once - but I have never cared to learn. Arthur glares at the cards below him, flipping them over in his hand.

He laughs, “I asked how training was going?”

“Good,” I burrow further into the couch, pulling a blanket across my shoulders, “When I go back, I have a tournament in Italy.”

“Well,” Arthur huffs, still fixed on the game, “You’re already a World Champion - Ugh! Charles, you’re cheating! This is why I hate playing with you!”

Charles throws his hands up, turning to Arthur with an indignant expression, “I am not a cheater. I am a man of honor, you just suck.”

With a curse, Arthur throws his cards down. 

He stands, “You’re a cheat and you know it.”

“You just don’t know how to lose.”

Arthur throws himself beside me, moving the pillows so he can lean against them, crossing his arms in front of him. I don’t have to hide my laughter, I let it slip from me. The laughter is easy, the tension from yesterday gone. Charles had still been insistent on apologizing, even when I told him to just drop it. 

My brother is one of the kindest people in the world. 

“What about you?” I dare to ask, offering Arthur some of my blanket, “How’s Ferrari treating you?”

I don’t need to ask because I already know. Even from across the world, every Sunday, I watch him. Every Sunday, I watch my brother get into that car and put his life on the line. And every Sunday I watch Ferrari screw him over. My teammates were getting far too tired of my outbursts. 

Charles clears his throat, looking down at the cards scattered across the floor. He sweeps them together, shuffling them, “Fine.”

“Fine?”

I’m stepping on thin ice. My brothers like to assume that when it came to racing they knew everything, but I had grown up around this. My father was a racer and now my brothers were racers - it was in my blood. I had just chosen not to pursue it. 

“Yes, fine.” He pushes himself up, standing and walking to the edge of the couch. 

“If you say so, brother,” Charles opens his mouth to speak, but the sound of the doorbell cuts him off. 

He practically leaps over the couches, nearly tripping over the carpet, to throw the door open. My mother hardly has time to scold him as she steps inside her room because cheery voices are ringing out through the house. 

“Hello!”

Lorenzo comes bounding from upstairs and Arthur rolls off the couch, kicking the blanket away from him. The three women who step inside the house bring the light of the shining sun with them. 

“Girls!” I cry, it has been so long since I’ve last seen them. 

Carla sees me first, throwing her hands in the air. She pushes past Arthur to sweep me into a hug. The position is awkward, as her body curves over the couch and I attempt to reach up to her, but I can feel her laughter vibrate within her chest. 

“Did you get in today?” Her eyes are shining and the glasses perched atop her head threaten to fall, “Why didn’t you text me?”

“I wanted to surprise you, of course!” When we pull away, Charlotte and Alexandria are right beside us. 

“We need to get breakfast while you’re here,” Charlotte says, pressing her hands together. It isn’t so much a request as it is a plan in motion. 

I just nod along. I look around, my brother’s waiting behind them with crossed arms and a less-than-pleased expression. 

“What?”

“They’re supposed to be here to see us.”

“No,” Charlotte says, wrapping her arms around me, “We’re here for her and of course - Pascale.”

“Hello, dear,” Mum says, Carla placing welcoming kisses on her cheeks. 

I turn to my left, Alex having taken a seat in the open space that Arthur left. 

“Hey,” I whisper, pulling her close. 

“Hi,” She whispers back. 

There’s something different. I can tell when she hugs me, pressing a kiss on my cheek. When we pull away, there’s a glow to her skin and a twinkle in her eyes. 

“Is there -?” 

Charles is draped across her in a second, gentle hands on her shoulders, “She is my girlfriend. Please, do not be selfish.”

Alex only rolls her eyes and I can’t help but follow. 

What a drama queen. 

__________

I watch Charles and Alex as Mum bustles around the kitchen. It’s little, but something is different. I can feel it. Something about the way Charles has an arm curled around her waist or the way she clings to his arm. They keep eyeing the rest of us, Alex turning around to whisper in his ear. 

Hm. How strange. 

Alex was quite shy, this much became evident when I first met her, but she was by no means afraid of the family. Just a few weeks earlier she had come to visit me in France, we spent the day together and had been texting each other constantly. 

What could it be?

I met her eyes and she sharply turned away from me. 

A secret then. 

Papa liked to say that I inherited Mum’s gift for reading people, especially my brothers. Even when we’re separated by seas, I know when something’s bothering them. I know when something is wrong. 

But this - this was different. 

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. 

But, my mind can help but wonder, what if - no. Could it be?

“Arthur.”

He hardly looks up from his phone, “Hm?”

“Wanna make a bet?”

“What kind of bet?” He asks, still scrolling. 

I lean in closer, “I think Alex is pregnant.”

Arthur nearly drops his phone. He whips his head over to look at me, mouth agape, “What?!”

“Sh!” I smack his arm, he is going to give us away, “You’re so loud…”

“Why do you think she’s pregnant?” He whisper-shouts, “That’s crazy. Charles would’ve told us.”

“Maybe he’s going to tell us tonight,” I shrug, pulling away from him. 

“Are you in or out?” I crossed my legs, my gut feelings were always strong. I’d guessed many things over the years and felt a change within the people around me before they told me. I’d known Charles got signed to Ferrari before he told us, or that Arthur was going to be moved to F2, or that Lorenzo had met someone new - all of these things, I’d felt. All of these things I guessed. 

Maybe I was a bit psychic. 

“You’re on,” He stuck his hand out, “€10?”

I scoffed, “That’s nothing - €100.”

“You could be wrong.”

“I could be right,” I looked down at his waiting hand. 

“€50?”

I slapped my hand in his, “€50 it is!”

“You’re going down,” He whispered, squeezing my hand. I kick at his shin.

“Ow!”

“That’s what you get, dumbass.”

“LANGUAGE!”

__________

Dinner is an easy affair. The time ticks by slowly, but none of us mind. Warm and laughter fill the house, everyone staying at the table after the food has long been eaten. Stories are tossed around and jokes float about, it's peaceful. 

A peace that’s so very addicting. 

Here, I can forget that I have to leave in only a few days. I can tell that the boys forget too, throwing themselves over Mum and the table. Arthur laughs so hard that he snorts and Lorenzo’s jokes have Charles reduced to tears - it’s all so nostalgic. 

As we eat, I can see Charles and Alex glance at each other, watching as he scoops her hand in his. She whispers something in his ear and he nods. 

Before I know it, they are both standing. 

“I,” He clears his throat, “I have something to say - well, we do, actually...”

“Well,” Alex begins, a bright smile pulling over her face, “Charles and I are expecting a - a child.”

The table erupts into cheers and exclamations. Mum drops her head into her hands, and before we can rush over, she looks up with tears in her eyes and a dazzling smile on her lips. We stand to offer them hugs and kisses, pats, and words of encouragement. 

“I told you!” I cry. 

Arthur lets out a loud groan, pushing his face into his hands, “Why?”

Confusion is written across their face and I can only laugh

I hold out a waiting hand.

With another groan and a roll of his eyes, he shoves his hand into his pockets, pulling out the €50 I’m owed. The bill is crunched and he drops it into my palm with little fanfare. 

“This is so unfair,” Arthur throws his arms around my shoulders, “How could you have possibly known?”

“I just do,” I shrug, looking up at him with a smile, “I’m just that good.”

“I knew it,” Carla giggles, “You are a psychic.”

I lock eyes with Mum over the table, she flashes me a smile.

“Of course,” I say, “I learned from the very best.”

__________

The ocean calls our name, the lull of the tides and the crashing of the waves. Such a beautiful song and we can do nothing but dance to it. With the sun shining down on our backs, we pile into Charles’s boat, clinging to the railing as we push away from the dock. The salt of the air tangles in my hair, and gentle winds give us a beautiful day. The weather was perfect, the sea was calm. What more could we ever ask for?

We spend the day lounging about the boat, pushing and shoving each other in the water. I manage to convince Charles to let me take the smaller boat out for a spin, with Carla clinging to the seats, and Charolette cheering us on from the deck above. I can’t help but dissolve into laughter at his face, twisted with worry. 

The water is cool against our heated skin, it invites us in for more. The longer we stay, the more we forget about the world that surrounds us. It is nearly enough to make me forget about my flight in only a few days. I will have to leave and this will all become a memory. 

But what a beautiful memory it will be. 

I can’t dwell on my thoughts, because Charlotte demands that we all jump. There is little fanfare for Charles and Lorenzo as they practically wrestle to the sea below. Arthur grips my hand as we jump, throwing ourselves into the Moncao air, caught by the arms of the sea. 

It is perfect. It is home. 

When the sun begins to dip in the sky, my mother draws herself up from the couch and claims that dinner will not ready itself. The others agree and begin to shuffle off but Carla and I are the last to get back from the boat. Though Charles has always held the title of ‘captain’, I have always maintained that the sea is but a little requirement for boating. We stayed behind to just lounge about in the sun, only coming back to the house when she got a frantic call from Arthur, telling her to come back. 

“What’s…” The words die in our throats when we see Alex huddled in the corner, sobbing into her hands. Charlotte stands over her, rubbing a reassuring hand over her back, whispering something into her ear. 

Before we can say another word, Arthur and Lorenzo interrupt us. He pulls us into a corner of the house, wiping his hands on his shorts. His eyes dart around the room, lip caught between his teeth. 

“What happened?” Carla demands. 

“It - it was the press,” Arthur manages, “They got pictures from earlier, on the boat.”

I need to hear little else. I dig my phone from my bag.

Finding the photo doesn’t take much work. It’s there as soon as I open Twitter, Alexandria and Charles standing on the balcony of the boat. Her hands on her stomach, nothing there to show - not yet - but the implication is enough for the media to run with. 

I can hardly breathe. 

Anger coils tight within me. 

Fucking vultures. 

Carla gasps from beside me, pressing a hand to her mouth. The headlines make my stomach turn. Far too atrocious to look at, I shove my phone back into my bag. Carla is quick to slip from beside me, rushing over to the couch, and dropping to her knees beside Alex. 

Haven’t they gone through enough? Have people not thrown Alex into the fire already? Had they not already ripped her apart? I remember the articles and the tweets when their relationship went public, the look of sadness on her face. People hated her simply because she loved Charles. How they got together and why they got together was no one’s business but their own. 

“Where -” I cut myself off, dropping my voice lower, “Where’s Charles?”

For a moment, Lorenzo doesn’t answer me, phone in hand. I can’t tell who’s calling, but the grave look on his face is all I need to know. He shakes his head, dragging a hand through his hair. 

“He’s outside,” He whispers, sparing a look over at Alex, “He stormed out and won’t come back in.”

“Of course! He’s upset!” I hiss, this was private. This was personal. The media has taken that away from him. 

Lorenzo holds his hands up, “I’m not saying he shouldn’t be - I’m not saying that I’m not,” He sighs, “But this is more - this is more than just…”

He looks away, rubbing a hand over his face, “He can’t run from this now.” 

I turn away from Lorenzo and the tears begin to gather in my eyes before I can gather the courage to force them back. I wrap my arms around myself, afraid that I might throw something across the room. 

This wasn’t right. 

Summer is our time. 

There is never any anger, never any sadness. That’s the world that waits beyond the walls of our home, that is the world we leave behind. We shut it all out because summer break is just us. I don’t realize that I’ve begun to dig my fingers into the flesh of my arm until Arthur yanks my hands away. 

He doesn’t say anything, just squeezing my hands in his. I can’t look at him, but I feel his gaze on me. When he releases me, my hands drop back down to my sides. I suck in a large gulp of air, trying to calm the pounding of my heartbeat. 

Before I can make my way to Alex, Charlotte stops me. She holds her hand up, a sad smile on her face. 

‘We’ve got it,’ She mouths, ‘Go.’

Her eyes flicker to the terrace, doors closed tightly. I can see, in the shadows of the darkness, Charles. 

“I’ll be back,” I whisper, reaching out to squeeze Arthur’s shoulder before I walk towards the doors. 

I gently push them open, waiting for Charles to scream out that he wasn’t privacy, that he needs space, but he never does

I step through. 

Charles stands out on the balcony, hands clutching onto the terrace railing. He stares into the swaying trees of our backyard, the melting sun casting a glow around the shadow of the house. Though the wind blows, there is no twinkle of windchimes. There is no echo of laughter or memory of youth, there is nothing. The light from the entry room spills across his back, but he doesn’t turn. 

The silence is thick, sitting heavily atop the both of us. With his back turned to me, I can’t see his face. There’s a selfish part of me that never wants to. I never want to see the pain and anger on my brother’s face. I never want to watch his heart fall apart before me. He is my family, an extension of myself. 

“Why can’t they just leave us alone?” 

His voice is hardly above a whisper, nearly consumed by the distant sounds of the city, but I hear. It cuts through the silence, piercing it with ease. There is sadness in his voice and I can feel the tears burn once more. His shoulders slump forward, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. For a movement, I fear that he might collapse. 

I take a tentative step forward. 

My brother is many things. Charles is competitive and rash, he is hard-working and self-deprecating. But he is also kind and forgiving, with a smile like the sun and a laugh like the sea. He is good. Our Papa used to say that Lorenzo and I got all the anger and bite, as it never seemed that Charles could hate, to be spiteful. 

Always the first to take the blame, always the first to vouch, always the first to arrive, always the last to go. 

My brother is good. 

And the world is cruel. 

“Charles,” I whisper, he doesn’t turn.

I reach for him, my fingertips barely grazing the fabric of his shirt, “Charles.”

He finally turns, biting his lip, tears in his eyes. The words die in my throat. There is nothing I can say to fix his pain, nothing I can do to take his unhappiness away. It kills me. They may be my older brothers, but I have always been fiercely protective of them. To hurt them was to hurt me - and to hurt them was unforgivable. 

And Charles. 

Charles, who flew through the night to catch my competitions. Charles, who cheered me on, even if he knew nothing about fencing. Charles, who always had an extra Paddock Pass for me. Charles, who always let me have his last cookie or pastry. Charles, who held me when I wailed for weeks after Papa’s passing. Charles put the money he earned in Formula 1 into getting Arthur back into carting. Charles, who always called to scream ‘Happy Birthday’ in my ear. 

That Charles. 

My brother Charles, would forgive. He will see it as a mistake, he will blame himself. In only a few hours, he will make a statement and tell the truth - because that’s just who he is. 

I throw my arms open and catch him as he falls into them. 

He doesn’t cry, not at first, just clinging onto me. But then, the moment that Alex’s cries drift onto the open terrace, he begins to weep. He sobbed into my shoulder, pressing his wet face into the fabric of my shirt. He clutches my hand, and I can do nothing but hold him. 

I hold him and let him fall apart. 

From over Charle’s shoulder, I see Arthur peeking out at us. He wrings his hands, twisting his fingers around. He can’t sit still, pacing around the room, brushing Carla away when she tries to calm him. 

I gesture for him to come and he does. 

Before I can say a word, he’s wrapping his arms around Charles, burying his face into his back. 

“We’ll fix this,” He mumbles, “I - I don’t know how, but we will.”

Charles doesn’t speak, he just searches for Arthur’s hand blindly in the pile of libs and holds on. It’s all we can do. I feel like I am 15 years old, losing our father again. It feels just as it did then, unbearable. But we do just what we did then, we hold each other. Clinging onto the only people that we have known since before we knew them, the only people that will love us even when no one else does. 

The only person -

Lorenzo is there, strong arms trying to tuck us all into him. I can feel his warmth against my back and push my face into his chest. 

“We’ve got you, Charlie,” He says, “We’ve got you.”

We do. 

We always will. 

_________________________

A/N:This work has been cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. All are under the name XDACTED. Thank you for reading and feel free to request fics about any of the drivers <3

[yourgentlegirlfriend]

Apple pie

part 1

part 2

my angels! sorry i’ve been so busy i’ve been so excited to post this for you guys and am actively writing chapter four as WE SPEAK. thank you guys again sm for 600 followers ugh i cry. MUAH.

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU WERE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH NSFW/DARK CONTENT OR ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH MY BLOG. MUAH.

Warnings: Talks about sex and mentions of hookups, mentions of yelling and crying, slight obsessive and stalking behaviors, just tons of angst- enjoy it.

Word count: 2,307

Days turn into weeks; weeks turn into a month. A month of you not even seeing Leon. You shouldn’t have grown attached to him in only three days, but what did he expect? You didn’t know if you were angry or if you were just sad. You now felt anger daily walking up the sidewalk to see his yard dying. He’s home, that’s the thing. All of his windows are now covered with black curtains. And it made you so.. angry.

He knew how to press your buttons too—pulling his curtains open and popping open his windows right before he left for his long night out. Listening to his Jeep pull out of his driveway, then come back hours later, the sound of him and some random woman laughing. Your eyes peered over your book as you watched Leon and said woman walk into his house, and before they even reached the bedroom, he was tugging at her sweater, her hands holding his chest. Stupid motherfucker. His eyes open as he sloppily kisses the woman, looking at you through the window as his shirt gets tugged off. The way his jaw fucking moved as he hungrily kissed the black-haired woman back. You’ve never stood so fast, trying to make it seem like you didn’t care as you closed your blinds. At least trying to sleep, shoving your pillow into your ear at the exaggerated cries and moans coming from Leon’s house.

But even though it hurts, you still get that aching feeling for him. To make him another pie or even a whole dinner and just knock on his door, apologize? You would say sorry if it meant you could see him smile again. And since it’s just shy of May, your strawberries are blooming. You knew they were coming in, and it gave you some joy for the first time in a while.

You woke up so early this Saturday morning, getting the small black basket sitting by your sink and running outside, a loud squeal of joy leaving your lips at the bright red strawberries. At least 15 of them too. Your fingers carefully tugged at the small stems, putting all of them into your basket. You let them sit in the vinegar bath for an hour, then run them over ice-cold water and put them in the freezer for exactly an hour so they’re cold and just a bit crisp. You stare down at your notepad as you lean against the counter, quickly writing

“I hope everything is going well! With love, your neighbor.”

You bite your lip as you stare at the basket of perfect strawberries before grabbing them and walking out your door. Your lawn is your pride, staring at your flowers before you walk down the sidewalk and up Leon's driveway. You stare at his door for a while, your hands gripping the basket in your hands as you regret your decisions. Maybe turn back while you can. He obviously doesn’t want to talk to you. Yet you want to talk to him. Your knuckles meet the door, your breathing stops as you just stand there. You stand there for a while too, looking around the porch before your eyes squeeze shut as you bend over, laying the basket on his welcome mat and walking back to your house.

———————————-

Leon jogs every morning, and it’s the perfect excuse to stare at your house without seeming like a weirdo again. His breathing labored as he slowed his jog as he hit your yard, his eyes looking at the strawberry bush to see that they finally bloomed and you had picked them. He couldn’t help but feel happy- happy knowing you had something to make you smile. He knew you’d been waiting on them for a while.

When he finally gets home, his breath steadies as he pulls the water bottle from his fridge, taking a long drink.

Then there’s a knock on the door. His head turns towards his entryway, listening to the knock echo through his hallway. Maybe it’s the mail? He would be happy even to see his boss. His footsteps are quiet and careful as he walks to the door, his body carefully leaning against it as he peers out the peephole.

Fuck.

You’re just standing there, strawberries in hand as you glance around his porch. His chest grows tight as you go to knock again but stop yourself, resting the strawberries on his welcome mat. He wanted nothing more than to swing open the front door and ask how you’d been. How’s work? How’s your garden? His eyes close as he presses his forehead against the door, he reaches over, pushing his black curtain aside as he watches you shut your door.

And he immediately swings his front door open, grabbing the small basket and shutting the door yet again. He sets them on his dining room table, his fingers grazing where your hands once held at the small handles. His eyes skim over the note, the little heart you put at the end. Yet he grabs it, crumbles it up and throws it away.

—————————————-

You gave him all your strawberries; you didn’t even try any yourself. This made your eyes water, the familiar wetting of your cheeks making you immediately rub at your skin. The noise of your house phone ringing makes you jump, your sniffling stopping as you slowly walk to the kitchen, pick up the phone and press it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“They were good. Would’ve made a perfect pie.”

Leon’s voice rings through your ears, your eyes immediately shooting towards his house, but disappointment shades your face as you see his curtains closed.

“Yeah, they were perfectly ripe. I'm glad you enjoyed them.”

Leon’s hand tapped at his window seal, staring at the empty basket of strawberries on his dining table.

“My lawn is dying.”

Leon’s chuckle makes your heart flutter as you nod your head, a small laugh leaving your lips.

“Yeah, yeah, I noticed actually.”

Your laugh makes his heart flutter.

The silence on the line is painful. Listening to Leon’s soft breaths on the other end.

“Goodnight.”

Leon’s voice sounded so friendly as he smacked the phone down. His breath increases before he grabs the small black basket, throwing it against his wall.

—————————-

You’ve been working too many extra shifts. The doubles turn into triples, sleeping on your breaks and downing black coffee. You get maybe four hours of sleep before you’re up again, throwing your hair up and dotting concealer under your eyes so you don’t look as dead.

Leon notices this new routine too, watching you run out the door at five in the morning, speeding down the street. When he finally sees your car out of view, he steps down his porch, his shoes crunching against the dying grass of his lawn as he walks over to yours. The grass was drying out and your flowers looked sad. Leon stared at the bushes for a few seconds before he walked over to your hose, twisting at the small handle before filling up your watering pot. He somewhat knew how you watered your plants, somewhat. After filling the pot, he let the hose spill water into your dying grass before carefully pouring the water over your bushes, making sure to get the roots and the dirt first and slowly make his way up the flowers.

When he finished, he ran his finger over one of the leaves, nodding before he placed your pot back, tangling up your hose once more and going back inside.

Leon did this for two weeks. Noticing that you were finally slowing down on shifts, he stopped; his black curtains draped open as he watched you step out into your lawn in the morning, staring confusedly at your plants. You knew they probably should be dead right now, your eyes narrowing at the healthy flowers.

—————————-

It couldn’t be Leon right?

Since it was coming up Summer, you were shocked Leon hadn’t been pulled out of town yet. He hasn’t been leaving much though, and when he did come back you always wanted to run out of the house to help him up his porch but his random women always seem to help him just fine.

Saying Leon wasn’t handsome would be the biggest lie. Lightning would come down from the sky and strike you. A quick google search also gave you maybe a bit too much information about him- pictures of him with the president, or him getting awards pinned to his chest, his name on memorial blocks, and way too much more. How have you never heard of him? The man has conspiracy rants about him online.

It made you even wonder if he did work for the local PD. You stared at your phone on the wall, biting at your nails with your laptop in your lap. You’re almost a whole bottle of wine deep? Why can’t you feel it? Your eyes went from reading the king article to scanning for your clock at the sound of pounding at your door.

Midnight?

This isn’t a bad neighborhood.. you felt your stomach steep as you looked around but you had no sort of self-defense mechanism at all. Maybe call Leon?.. No, no, don't call Leon. Now you really felt that wine as you stood up, tripping over yourself a bit and catching yourself as you walked towards the door. Your fingers at the small window by your door and your heart sinks at the sight of Leon staring at your door, watching his chest rise before he pounds on the door again making you flinch before you swing it open, the man staring at you.

Before you could even speak, he groans out in frustration at the sight of you.

“You called the fucking police department to check my employment status?”

This isn’t the usual Leon voice, he sounds pissed off and he is. And it’s valid.

———————-

You may have been in your own world, dozing off to the thought of whatever the fuck you do.

Leon's heavy breath filled his room as he pushed himself into the girl below him, closing his eyes, refusing to look at her before there was a ring on his phone. When he throws it down putting it on do not disturb, he can’t help but almost scream out of frustration as he pulls out of the girl, walking to his phone.

“Hello?”

“Control your little neighbor pet, Leon. Guess who called the police station asking for you drunk as ever. You’re lucky I didn’t call your boss.”

Leon hung up so fast, staring at his wall as he mumbled to the girl on his bed to leave, listening to her shuffle her way out of his house. He pulled his pants up, buckling his belt and tugging his black t-shirt back on as he stormed out of his house, marching to your door.

———————————-

You just scoffed as you looked at Leon, your hand gripping your door as he just stared at you with his sharp eyes.

“I didn’t do anything.”

Leon shook his head at the smell of the wine on your breath, looking past you to see your laptop and wine on your couch. Leon pushed passed you, grabbing the laptop on your couch and holding it in his arm as he scrolled through your search history.

“Get out!”

You’ve been googling him for hours, pinning websites to your pin bar. Leon slammed the laptop shut, staring at you. Your eyes are so soft, tears threatening your eyes as you watch him. It’s only been three months and he was obsessed with you. You followed his lead, slowly driving yourself to become obsessed with him.

Everything he did was in your favor. When you were overworking yourself, he made a really special visit to the diner, threatening your dick of a boss to hire somebody else or he would face severe consequences. The weeds in your garden, changing his entire schedule to revolve around you.

Leon was so obsessed with the thought of you, living this life where you and him could be perfect. It’s an unrealistic and stupid thought- honestly, it was fucking insane, clinical. Yet he just knew he had to stay away. He felt like everything he touched crumbled below his fingers, and if you somehow slipped from him, it would break him.

Watching the way your eyes water made that familiar ache start to form in his chest. He handed you your laptop, his hands visibly shaking.

He was walking away from you- again. You felt the tears slip from your eyes and you screamed at yourself. Don’t cry, don’t let him show you how you affect him so horribly. He reached for the doorknob but you couldn’t help but watch his back as you quickly wiped your hands, grabbing at his arm.

“Leon please..”

Hearing your voice crack made Leon’s heart erupt into flames, his hands suddenly stopped shaking as he turned back to you, his face a bit softer as you let go of his arm, your eyes still glossy. Your cheeks that light shade of pink, your lips slightly parted. His head shook as he took a small step forward, grabbing at the sides of your face before he slammed his lips against yours. And the way your hands reached up, it made him want to stay so badly. To hold you the rest of the night, he gently pushed you, not enough to hurt you, just to make you stumble, still looking up at him. But before you could even look, he was gone, and the door slammed again in your face. Leaving you stranded in your quiet living room.

———————————————————————-

taglist!

@bimbo-baggins86 @karmasshit @cweampier @wh0islyuri @ovaryacted @arianna-irwynarn @smallp00ks @xxacademy @x4ver1a @cryptkillo @darthdidi

[sylvies-chen]

ok started the episode a little late but I just finished it so here’s the weekly recap folks…

TED LASSO 3.04 THOUGHTS:

holy shit this episode was FANTASTIC there was so much going on!! so much goodness!!

roy seeing jamie butt ass naked at 4 am… who had this on their bingo card? anyone? no?

I’m SO glad we got that sassy & ted mess out of the way, I hope ted stops the casual sex and realizes it’s not fulfilling his needs

nate picking up the little lasso figurine and ted still having the picture of him and nate feels like a third act breakup montage of a rom com moment please I feel sick 😭

dani befriending a 108-year-old man just makes so much sense to me. that’s my friendly husband right there !!!!!

OKLAHOMA. motherfucking… OKLAHOMA??? oh my god this is insane I’m foaming at the mouth like the way she laughed at his pun when sassy called them insufferable the way he told her she was better off without rupert the implications of her using a term from his marriage counseling to coax the truth out of him THE WAY SHE INSTANTLY KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH HIM

it’s also so good because that certainly wasn’t THE long awaited office chat or else they would have made a comment about “same place same time” so that means we have YET ANOTHER office chat coming up and I don’t doubt they’ll bring up “oklahoma” again

nate… ugh, what a guy. lonely is the only word for him. there’s something so sad and pitiable about where he’s at right now, getting all the fame and credit but no support. there is a good person inside him just banging to get out, you can feel it

ooooooof yeah shandy messed up BIG TIME and keeley, babe, it’s not your fault for trying to see the good in people and believing in them!! she’s probably going to have to make the tough call to fire her if she wants to get in jack’s good graces

the team getting angry and violent over seeing nate destroy the believe sign actually made me cry. it’s just beautiful to me, even if they reacted wrong in the context of the game. they’re saying, “we made something good here. we have something beautiful. how dare you defile what is sacred to us, something that has bettered us as people. feel our wrath. feel our hurt.” I love my richmond guys 😭

it’s so wild to me that rebecca dealt with rupert having an affair in a mature and restrained way but she lowkey went maniacal with ted at half time like girlie has range i guess wow 😂

TED’S FIRST ATTEMPT AT CONFRONTATION OH MY GOD FUCKING FINALLY and it went pretty well too!! he flat out admitted he was angry, and did so in a respectful way. the baby steps of growth that we see happening here are beautiful I’m so proud !!

can we get that sports commentator who said he kept predicting things too often to manifest a tedbecca endgame?

[dollfaceksj]

GIRL THE WAY ID BE THROWING UP IF I GOT THAT MESSAGE 😭😭 LIKE WDYM "COME OUT"?? no hello how are you jus straight to the point

well let’s see what tae has to say!

i’ve been brainstorming this lore since like the 2nd or 3rd drabble. it’s rlly sad guys. i just love angst too much. you have been WARNED. i took out some of it bc to me it was a little too much lmao. a little too dark. the too dark stuff might come back later. its just details. so yeah. i took out a bit of the sadness but its still sad. uve been warned.

going to sleep right after this so scream at me all u want. 😘

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #18

masterlist

<- previous ; next ->

‘Come out’

COME OUT

worry is already bubbling up the back of your throat

you turn to jungkook. “what the fuck do i do?”

“calm down,” he whispers, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “pretend you’re asleep.”

you shake your head. “that’s gonna make it more obvious. what if he comes all the way here and continues to try and wake us up and then he’ll see the state of this damn tent when we open up?” you say while sliding on your shoes

jungkook clicks his tongue as he contemplates. “alright, whatever you do, just don’t admit, alright? we’re not exactly in an area where we have hospitals and stuff.”

you nod to what he’s saying but his last words snap you out of it

???

your heart is already starting to beat quicker than it should

“hospital??? why a hospital??? you think he’s gonna get violent?”

he shakes his head. “i’m not explicitly saying that, i’m just saying someone could get hurt whether that’s through a fight or by accident. like he could get angry and trip or hit something with his fist. we don’t exactly have anything here to take care of him.”

you blink at him for a few moments as you start tugging your pants back up and try to fix your hair

he’s so?? calm about that

he knows tae would be angry and try to fight him but he’s calm to keep you calm

:(

he adds, “just calm down, okay? i’ll be near if you need me.”

you shake your head. “no, you need to stay far away from me when i’m talking to taehyung.” you start to unzip the tent and glance back at him

just in time to watch him yank his condom off

ugh gross

you groan, “what are you going to do with that thing!!!”

“i don’t know!!! what am i supposed to do????”

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

at least he’s funny 😭😭

“y/n,” he calls out to you before you exit the tent

you turn to look at him over your shoulder

“just breathe.”

the words are so insignificant

but in this moment

they mean so much

you nod your head. you slowly crawl out and look around, the only thing that has some light is the campfire but if you squint

you see tae’s silhouette by the campfire

you take a deep breath

you can do this

you can do this.

you slowly walk up to him, watching as his figure becomes bigger and bigger until he looks up at you

“hey,” you quietly say

your hands are sweating like fucking crazy

“hey.” he rises to his feet. “come,” he says as he starts walking away from the campfire

and

away from civilians…..

where is he taking you??

why are you so nervous

just calm down

don’t get it wrong though

you’re not scared of tae, never will be

on the contrary actually he’s your home

but the tension is weird.

you quietly follow him

“where are we going?” you quietly ask

the crunching of the branches underneath your feet and the sounds of beetles making noise fill up your ears

he replies, “somewhere private, obviously.”

what the hell

what the HELL?

what’s up with him

WHAT IS GOING ON

everyone’s asleep? why would u need privacy

now you’re starting to get scared

not of him but of what he has to say

fuck

your heart is beating out of control

just breathe. breathe. jungkook said to breathe.

tae stops near the open road, leaning against a tree

you look at him confused

you start, “sooo… what did you want to talk about?”

he crosses his arms.

as if you’re supposed to know

you frown

huh???

what is going on?

fuck

have you and jungkook been too obvious after all?

you manage to collect yourself and ask, “what?”

he pinches his brows together. “jungkook.”

heart

freefalls to your feet

oh shit

oh no

oh no

“what about him?” you try to sound casual

he tilts his head to the side. “did you forget? i was going to tell you about him.”

?

wait

oh shit

oh he’s talking about

jungkook being sensitive???? going through a lot??

OH PHEWWWWW

Holy shit

thought it was about to be your last day on earth

“oh. oh!” you snap out of your thoughts. “yeah, right. right. what’s going on?”

taehyung takes a deep breath as he starts talking about jungkook

“listen. jungkook has a lot of issues and emotional baggage that you need to take into consideration when you say certain stuff to him.”

hm?

what…

this sounds..

pretty dark?

“what do you mean?”

he sighs and rubs his eyes. “i mean that you’re a bit harsh on him sometimes. jungkook grew up in a messy household. shitty dad. busy mom.”

oh right

his mother is a sensitive topic

you say, “okay, that’s sad but a lot of people grow up in broken homes.”

he nods. “you’re right but a lot of people react differently to trauma.”

ohhh kay

we getting into trauma territory ???

“and how does he react?”

“after witnessing his parents arguing and in physical altercations, jungkook decided that romance was nothing for him because he associates marriage and love with what he saw growing up.”

you blink at him.

oh

that’s actually kinda sad

you wonder how young jk was during these things :(

poor guy

“so, how’s his relationship with his parents now? does he still talk to his mom?”

he shakes his head. “his mother passed away. dad didn’t even show up to the funeral. made 15 year old jungkook go through it all on his own.”

(backstory for that is even sadder so i took it out.. might come later)

if you’ve ever felt like your heart imploded within your ribs

it was in this exact moment

the birthflower tattoo :(

you glance at the ground. “what about his dad?”

“his piece of shit dad only throws money at him. he’s rich so he thinks pumping jungkook’s bank account full of money is a good way of raising him.”

oh

that’s why

“oh. that’s why he always seems to have money but is never working a job…” you think out loud

taehyung nods his head at your epiphany

you continue, “and always wearing seemingly expensive clothes. his sneakers, the calvin klein boxers… hm.” you nod your head

he nods again but slowly stops. “what?”

???

“what?” you echo

“how do you know what kind of boxers he wears?”

fuck

oh no

you blink quickly. “what?”

he stares you down head-on. “you just said he wears calvin klein. how do you know that? what situation would you need to be in in order to know that?”

fuck

oh god

just calm down

jungkook said to stay calm and breathe

don’t admit

“tae, i share a tent with him. you think he shyly hides his shit away from me when he takes clothes out of his bag? he doesn’t really care.”

wow

you really just talked shit and it worked

cause tae’s frown subsides

“oh okay.” he rubs his chin. “well, now you know why jungkook is looking for affection anywhere he can get it because he doesn’t really care for romance.”

“oh,” you manage to say, a bit choked up. because that’s. really sad.

ugh

“he was once head over heels for a girl. it’s like she made him forget about everything.”

oh

made him forget about everything

“he swears she cheated on him but she’s adamant on the fact that they were never really together. it also added onto why jungkook doesn’t get romantically involved with people. he genuinely thinks it’s nothing for him.”

so jungkook is convinced that love just isn’t for him

:(

but then he goes out and disguises his need for love and affection as sex and quick fucks

man

:(

you do actually feel guilty about calling him a fuckboy now

like

he’s still a fuckboy

but :( u should stop saying it to his face :(

and now knowing about his mom :(

you wonder what happened…

like you really don’t need to know that

knowing she’s dead is enough

but knowing how she died makes it easier for you to talk about certain topics around jungkook

but

that’s too dark for now

however

thinking about young jungkook

associating something as beautiful as love

with something as horrible as a broken home

hm

hm?

what’s that?

oh

you’re melting

your hard shell is cracking

you just

want to hold him now :(

give him the affection he so desperately desires :(

but should you feed into it?

clearly it’s not healthy for him

you know if you’ll keep sneaking around with jungkook

he might get attached

and you don’t like jungkook like that

so you’d have to break his heart

again

:(

this is so messy

you need to call it quits with jungkook while you still can

“so just,” he sighs quietly, “i know he’s a bit of a player but he just craves affection. and seeing you two constantly bickering and being mean to each other, i just want y’all to get along. maybe even form the same type of bond you and i have. he should get affection in other ways, not just through sex, you know? you could be like,” he says as he thinks for a moment, “his big sister.”

oh for fucks sake.

this just

you’d rather tae find out about you and jungkook than assume y’all have a sibling-like bond 😭😭😭

like yeah

you and tae are very sibling like

because of tae’s responsibility to you

but if he starts thinking you and jungkook are just *gag* SIBLINGS *gag*

oh this is sickening

you slowly nod your head to what he’s saying but you wish you never heard any of it

you mumble, “let’s go back, we have to get up early.”

“okay. anything else you wanna tell me now that we have all the privacy in the world?” he says in a joking tone

you shake your head. “no, not really.”

he pauses. “really?”

???

“what?” you say

he frowns at you. “i give you the opportunity to come clean right now and you don’t?”

holy shit

what the fuck

oh shit

does he know??? he knows??????

oh no

does he actually think something is going on between you and jungkook?

fuck FUCK

he crosses his arms as he sternly stares you down.

don’t admit

you finally say, “what are you talking about?”

“i’m talking about you and yoongi.”

oh

oh right

oh yoongi…

yeah…. yoongi

you quietly sigh. “i was planning on telling you, i really was. but i don’t know, stuff just kept getting in the way.”

he nods in understanding and pulls you in for a big hug. “it’s okay. i know you’re in good hands.”

you huff. “it’s nothing serious, tae.”

he looks down at you in his arms. “i don’t like that.”

“taehyung, i’m a grown woman,” you say as you roll your eyes

“i know but i don’t wanna be the bearer of bad news back home, okay? just be careful.”

more tae & reader lore coming soon

what is he even saying…

bad news

a broken heart?

a pregnant belly?

a bad academic year?

none of those things are going to happen. trust

you roll your eyes. “nothing bad is going to happen.”

“anything could happen, y/n.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head before releasing you. “now, let’s go back.”

“okay.”

he leads you back to the camping site and walks you to your tent. “goodnight.” he rubs your shoulder before heading back to his tent

and now

you have

to face

him.

you take a deep breath as you crawl back into the tent, jungkook’s back is turned to you

is he asleep?

you’re not sure

you slowly crawl back to your space after zipping the tent back up

“what did he want to talk about?”

jungkook’s voice makes you flinch

he’s awake

“oh,” you blink at his back. “yoongi. he wanted to talk about yoongi.”

lie after lie after lie after lie after lie

he turns onto his back and glances at you, neither of you can see much anyway

“do you want to continue?”

you shake your head. “no, not really. it kind of,” you say as you recall everything taehyung just told you. “ruined my mood.”

“okay.” he slowly crawls over your body and out the tent

“what are you doin–”

“getting rid of the evidence, duh.”

evidence????

oh

the damn condom😭😭😭😭

he’s so fucking annoying

but

you kinda want to hold him now. :(

would he be weirded out

if you

cuddled him?

he probably never cuddles any of his little hookups

but

aren’t you different?

by the time jungkook has returned

you’ve crawled back into his sleeping bag

he doesn’t say anything about it as he crawls in with you

he turns his back to you and seemingly tries to go to sleep

you slowly scoot closer

and closer

and closer

until you’re pressed up against him.

“you’re really close, y/n.”

“i know, i’m sorry. i just,” you whisper, “don’t feel so good.”

he doesn’t say anything about it

just like he doesn’t say anything when you wrap your arm around his waist

and press your face into the back of his neck

and place your hand on his chest

the soft thumping of his heart against your hand

you just want him to feel loved :(

“you’re so warm,” you whisper as you close your eyes

for someone who tries to act cold… he’s really warm

so warm

“i could just,” you continue, “lie next to you for the rest of my life.”

hm

now that you think about it

there’s wordplay

cause this could mean two different things

literally lying next to each other, in a bed or whatever

but lying next to him, lying about sneaking around, lying about wanting each other

cause it seems like you’ll be lying about it for the rest of your life at this rate

however

he doesn’t say anything yet again

and it allows you to shut the fuck up

and try to fall asleep

and you do

you’re dozing off

cause you don’t remember him saying these next few words

“i could too.”

to be continued

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[gorgonwrites]

bound to you, (part 5)

diluc x fem!reader

wc: 3, 178

author's note: a woman scorned is the most dangerous creature in all of Teyvat. all aboard the angsty express!!

CW: fem! reader, angst, hurt/comfort ig??, diluc WILL run away from you and his feelings if you let him, reader is lowkey a crybaby, oral (male receiving), temperature play sorta kinda, switch! diluc vibes, switch!reader, mentions of diluc having pretty bad anxiety, reader is a badass tbh. WHY IS DILUC SO EMO UGH. also i forgot horses aren't really a thing in genshin but just indulge me here ok

Diluc couldn’t sleep. The events of the last few hours were playing on a loop in his head, and he could feel his anxiety raising its ugly head to greet him. He was convinced he had gone too far this time. Birds faintly began chirping outside his window, signaling him to get out of bed. He sat on the edge, turning back to catch a glimpse of your sleeping frame. You were completely sprawled out, his blanket tangled between your legs from your constant tossing and turning. He reached his hand out to brush your jaw, but stopped himself. 

He was a man starved of affection and he knew it was his own doing. He convinced himself long ago that he was to walk a path of perpetual unhappiness in his life. The loneliness he felt hardly bothered him until the proposal of his marriage to you was finalized and you marched into his life. You had quickly revived the winery, his staff, and ultimately him as well. After agreeing to marry you so he could cement new intelligence contacts in Fontaine, falling for you didn’t even cross his mind. Yet here you were, in his bed sleeping peacefully after he practically begged you to let him love you. This is getting dangerous. He wasn’t the type of man to run away, and he couldn’t think of much that actually scared him. But he couldn’t deny the fear simmering in his chest. He quietly got dressed, working slowly so he didn’t wake you. The sky was just beginning to light and with one last quick look at your sleeping face, he left his room and closed the door gently behind him. 

You were woken up gently by the sunlight streaming in through Diluc’s window and onto your face. You basked in its warmth for a moment, last night’s endeavor hazily playing through your mind. You gently reached your arm out expecting to feel your husband’s warm body next to you, but it met the mattress instead. You turned over to realize you were alone in the room and you sat up with a start. You sat for a moment taking the room in bit by bit, and recalled Adelinde once telling you that Diluc was an extremely early riser. You were not, and decided that he had left the room to let you sleep through the early morning peacefully. 

“Master Diluc had business at Angel’s Share today, I believe.” you sat once again at the breakfast table, dumbfounded. Adelinde was clearing the dishes when you finally asked her if she had seen your husband.

“But he said he didn’t have anything to do for the next few weeks.” you said flatly, trying to hide your disappointment from her. You felt lied to.

“Sometimes things come up at the tavern suddenly. Rather than ask another employee to ride into town to cover, he does it himself if he’s home. It keeps him busy.” she looked at you apologetically, catching onto the distress that was building underneath your skin. 

“But,” you felt tears prick the corner of your eyes, “I’m here. We could keep ourselves busy together.” the tears started spilling down your cheeks and Adelinde rushed to your side, dabbing at your face with a handkerchief. 

“Don’t let this make you unhappy, my Lady.” she whispered, “Give him time.” you snatched the handkerchief and quickly pushed yourself from the table, startling her. You stood up and looked at her with bloodshot eyes.

“Do not mistake my tears for sadness, Adelinde. I am angry. I feel like I take two steps towards him and he takes seven steps away from me. I don’t know how much longer my heart can handle the nonsense he continues to display.” wiping your tears, you continued. “Did he say when he would return?”

“No , my Lady, he rarely ever does. I’d suspect that since he’s at the Tavern that he’ll be back tonight.” Good. You were ready to give him a piece of your mind. Innocent intentions or not, he continued to break the promises he made you without warning. You were his wife, yes, and you mostly did what was asked of you. But he was your husband, and you were done letting him run away from you.

It was close to midnight, and you had been sitting by the front door of the manor for hours. Your arms crossed against your chest, you stared aimlessly out of the window waiting to see your husband’s figure appear out of the darkness. When he never came, your anger began to boil just under the surface. Without thinking, you pulled your cloak off of the hook across from you and threw it over your shoulders. You’d drag him back if you had to. You quietly made your way out to the stables to saddle up your favorite horse. Adelinde came sprinting out of the manner wearing only her nightdress and a robe, reaching you as you mounted your horse. 

“My Lady! My Lady it’s too dark for you to be out right now, just the other day Elzer and the boys had to clear out a nearby hilichurl camp. We don’t know if they’re all gone yet-” you scoffed, realizing no one treated you competently here at the winery. 

“I am not a child, Addy,” you hissed, “I am the Lady of this house and I will go where I please, when I please. My husband seems to do that quite often. Maybe I can learn a thing or two if I adopt that habit of his.” she backed away from you. You caught yourself, not wanting to take your anger out on her. “I’m going to find Master Diluc, Adelinde. If I fail, you will help me gather my belongings and I will be headed back to Fontaine by dawn. Am I clear?” she shook her head, frozen in place. “Good.” 

Diluc slumped over the counter at Angel’s Share, exhausted, and watched as Charles continued to clean the tavern before leaving. He had spent the whole day there wrestling with his emotions, trying to logically work through each of them. Keeping himself busy always helped him manage his anxiety. This time, though, it felt like it was eating him alive. He felt as though something had dislodged in his chest and was rapidly trying to claw its way out, no matter how hard he tried to keep it in place. As he began to reorganize the liquor behind the counter to prepare for the following day, a commotion began outside. Groaning, he started towards the door to handle the situation. The door flew open before he was halfway there though, and he was met with your wild, fiery gaze. Your hair was a mess and you had several fresh cuts on your arms, and it looked like you’d been caught in a late summer rain shower because you were soaked. 

“Y/n?” Diluc felt his anxiety melt away, quickly being replaced by anger rising  in his chest. Only the Gods knew what creatures were crawling in the shadows on your way here, and he felt something finally snap inside of him. 

“What the Hell are you doing here? Why are you not at home?” he could feel his face getting hot, desperately trying to control his tongue. 

“That’s Lady y/n to you, young Master.” you hissed. “I’m here to drag my husband home where he belongs.” you were out of breath, and your tone sent a dagger through Diluc’s chest. You straightened up and brushed the dirt from your dress, trying to put up an icy wall to resist how seeing your husband made you feel. He reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose and you could tell he was getting angry. 

“Continuing to push my boundaries, I see.” his voice sounded labored, like he was exerting a generous amount of self control. “You think it’s a game, but look at you! What happened?” That’s what he was concerned about? His rules? You scoffed in response, throwing your arms in the air.

“You’re concerned about rules right now, Master Diluc? About controlling your little wife? Don’t make me laugh.” tears were stinging your eyes and you tried desperately to not let them fall. “Here I thought you were concerned about me, that maybe you were beginning to care for me. I see now that you’re more interested in keeping me in a cage like a pet, only taking me out when it suits you.” your voice was shaky. “You have no idea what I’m capable of, do you? I’m not a child! You’d know that I’m much more powerful than you realize if you would just take the time to ask. I dealt with three Godsdamned hilichurls on the way here, and got rid of an Abyss mage at the gates because the knights on guard weren’t capable enough.”  Diluc stared at you, speechless. He had underestimated you, yes. But it didn’t change that this marriage put you at a greater risk than a few hilichurls and a lone Abyss mage. 

“Have you ever bothered to ask me why I have tried to set these boundaries with you?” he whispered. You were about to spit your anger at him again, but stopped and realized that you had indeed never asked him the reasoning behind his rules. “No, you haven’t. I’d divulge every detail if it meant you’d stop pushing my limits every damned day. But you’ve never asked. Not once. You don’t know a damn thing about the life that I’ve lived or the world that I know. Don’t pretend that you’d last more than a day.” his voice was rising with each sentence, and he was still desperately trying to control himself. You were right in front of him in an instant, jabbing your finger into his broad chest. 

“That’s what I came to your chambers for last night, you know! I want every detail that you’re willing to give me. Everything! But instead, you spent half the damn night asking, no, begging me to let you love me.” you could feel the tears start to fall but you continued, “You confuse me! And I don’t know how much more I can withstand. I’m too lonely and restless here. There’s so much of this nation I have yet to see because you’re always gone and I never leave the estate. If I take one step towards you and our marriage, you take three leaps away from me with no regard to how it may make me feel.” you could feel Diluc’s hands wrapping around you but you pulled away, unwilling to give him the satisfaction. 

“You don’t deserve love from a man like me. And I don’t deserve the kindness you show me.” he whispered, staring at the floor. His anger was fading now, replaced as always by his ever present anxiety. It was clawing its way out of his chest and he could feel it reaching every inch of his body, and he felt like he was falling. You sighed and pushed your damp hair out of your face. Was he always going to be this stubborn? 

“You don’t get to make that decision for me, Diluc. I show kindness to those I care for. Do not rob me of yet another choice to make.” to your surprise, your voice was softening. “And I think I know more than you give me credit for.” Diluc’s eyes snapped to yours, his brows furrowing. “I- I snooped a little in your room this afternoon. I found the journal you kept while you were in Snezhnaya.” you looked away from your husband, unsure of how he’d react to you going through his personal belongings. 

“And you still came to find me after reading all of that?” his voice was the one shaking now, making you look at him again. He had a pained look on his face. “I didn’t want you to know that side of me. And I didn’t want you wrapped up in any of the intelligence work I do. I don’t want you to be exposed to that side of this world.” that made you smile. Silly man. He obviously had no idea what family you came from, and had no grasp on the network your father had built between each of the seven nations of Teyvat. Maybe he knew a bit, and you knew that it was part of your marriage agreement. 

“You don’t need to shelter me, you know.” you cooed, reaching up to brush his face with your fingers. “I know much more about this world than you realize. I’m not someone that needs such fierce protection either.” you stood up on your tiptoes and gently grabbed the back of Diluc’s neck, forcing him to bend so you could place a gentle kiss on his cheek. Your anger was quickly evaporating, and was being replaced by overwhelming arousal. He groaned at the contact, placing his hands on your hips and kissing your neck. 

“I didn’t say you could touch me.” you whispered into his ear. He straightened up immediately, removing his hands from your hips only to bring one to his face to hide how red he was. You snickered. It was your turn to take care of your husband. “Oh, and Charles?” you looked over your shoulder, “You may go now. Thank you so much for the work that you do. I’ll see to it that you receive a small bonus for the trouble tonight.” you smiled, and the man behind you scurried out of the door instantly. 

“Fuck. I forgot he was here.” Diluc breathed, not taking his eyes off of you. “We can stay here tonight. I- I have a spare room upstairs that I use from time to time when I’m too tired to ride back to the manor.” finally he was speaking with some sense. You nodded, and began gently pushing him towards the back door. For a man claiming to be too cruel to deserve your love, he felt like putty in your hands. He led you upstairs to a quaint room that overlooked the courtyard beside the tavern, and you gently pulled at his shoulders so he sat at the edge of the bed in front of you. You reached behind him to let his hair down and pushed it out of his face. He sighed and leaned into your touch, closing his eyes to savor the moment.

“I don’t deserve you.” he whispered. You rolled your eyes and tightly gripped his jaw to make him look at you. 

“You think too much. Has anyone ever told you that?” you smiled, teasing him with the same sentiment he shared with you yesterday afternoon. He wrapped his arms around you, pushing his face into your chest in hopes that you wouldn’t see his reddened cheeks. You card your hands through his long hair, pressing your lips to the crown of his head. “Let me take care of you tonight.” You push your husband back and reach for his hands. Bringing one to your lips, you hold Diluc’s gaze as you remove his glove and kiss his palm. You do the same with the other and then begin unbuttoning his coat. He watches you in careful silence, letting you work. When you lift his shirt off of him, he finally speaks. 

“You don’t have to do this, angel. And I want to clean up your arms- I’m worried about those cuts.” you looked at your arms. They were fresh cuts from your run in with the hilichurls, yes, but they weren’t deep. You’d actually forgotten about them, and you knew he was trying to distract you. 

“That won’t work this time,” you continued undressing him, reaching for his belt. “And I can feel just how excited you are.” your hand slid down to palm the bulge in his pants, immediately making your husband suck in a shaky breath. “That’s what I thought.” He reached out to you to cup the side of your face but you batted his hand away. “Hands to yourself. No touching.” a whine escaped from Diluc’s lips as he brought his hand back to his side. 

“You’re not being fair, angel.” you’d never seen him pout before. He looked like a spoiled child and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s my turn to make the rules.” as the words left your lips, you released his cock from his trousers. It bobbed in place, wet precum already dripping from the tip. Diluc’s breathing became increasingly labored as he anticipated your touch. You knelt between his spread legs, not looking away from your husband’s length. There was no way you’d fit the entire thing in your mouth and you began to imagine yourself bouncing up and down your husband’s cock, filled to the brim. Grabbing the base, you gave the tip a small lick. Diluc let out a delicious moan, throwing his head back. 

That reaction was all you needed. You gripped his cock with both hands and began moving them up and down, dragging groans and whines from Diluc as you worked. You opened your mouth and began suckling at the tip, swirling your tongue around to lap up the precum that continued to spill over. Your husband’s breathing began to quicken and he couldn’t keep still. You reached out to pinch his side, signaling that you’d stop if he didn’t behave. He let out another half-choked whimper, stilling underneath you. You stopped to look up at him.

“Good boy.” he couldn’t stop the strangled cry that left his mouth, falling backwards onto the bed. You continued to work his cock with your hands and mouth relentlessly, sending him closer and closer to the edge. 

“I can’t angel, I’m about to-” you cut him off. 

“You can.” he yelped when your fingertips went cold, sending goosebumps across his skin. You wrapped your lips around his cock again and reached your hands up to his chest. His breath hitched, trying not to shrink away from your frozen touch. 

“Y/n I can’t, oh Gods-” Diluc sounded frantic. “Gonna come, fuck-” your hands shot back down to the base of his cock and you sped up. With a loud cry Diluc grabbed a fistful of your hair and fucked into your face, his load shooting down the back of your throat. His movement slowed and you let his now softening cock fall from your mouth, strings of saliva connecting your lips and the tip. You let go of his length, content and tired. As you rose to your feet and turned towards the washbasin to grab something to clean your husband up, he roughly grabbed your waist and pulled you back, shoving you onto the bed underneath him. He was on you instantly, attacking your neck and any exposed skin that was available to him. You gasped in response, wrapping your legs around his waist. 

“My turn.” he growled in your ear,  sending a shockwave straight to your core.

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE END i was worried this part was getting too long!! i am working on part six at this very moment!! xx

[dootznbootz]

Which Greek mythology character would you like to see talked about more?

OHoho. you all already know this.

It's Penelope.

And I am being so fucking serious about it. I'm also sleepy and angry and mother nature is stabbing my gut so I'm putting a lot of my emotions into this ask.

BUT her fangirling, angry, bitchy rant of mine, I will save for the end. (and I'll explain it more down there) Not gonna lie, I will probably be mean. Don't take it too personally. (Some folks I know genuinely love her and have stuff for her. Y'all are fine :D )

I have many other characters I wish would be seen more, but hers rant is ooooh. it's been boiling angrily for a long time and this is the perfect ask to let loose.

Take note: This is more about characters who I feel are either underrated and/or not really given love. It's a whole other can of worms about characters who ARE given a lot of attention but are either fandomized to the point of being unrecognizable or people just...really see them wrong.

Ariadne:

A young princess who helped out Theseus to end the cycle of violence against the youth of Athens. Despite the fact that she was going against her family by helping Theseus she did. When he left her, for whatever reason, she was rescued by Dionysus. In which these two have a loving and healthy marriage. There is so much potential here and it makes me sad that she gets butchered and/or just ignored.

Danae:

She was locked up by her father because of a prophecy that happened anyway. She is now pregnant with Zeus' child. She is then locked into a chest in which she is sent floating in the sea. She washes up on Seriphos. Her son is sent on an impossible quest in order to keep her from a forced marriage. Her story is inspiring and ugh sdkf j badass mama! ;~;

Telemachus:

Got that right here :)

Sthenelus:

Fucking love this lil hotheaded cheerleader man. Go boy, go! He got yeeted by Athena from the chariot. Diomedes and him tell each other that they love each other. Tells off Agamemnon for mocking Diomedes' and his dad. He was a child soldier alongside Diomedes. I love this weird lil guy.

Hephaestus:

It makes me sad how people only see him as the "cuck" of Aphrodite and Ares. (no hate to them. do not hate either of them) He's badass in his own right! He does that bigass fire in the Iliad! And one of my favorite scenes in that epic, is him welcoming Thetis! I think he's neat :D

Hebe:

Ganymede isn't the only cupbearer on Olympus you know.

Menelaus:

I love me a goofy wifeman...But if that's all you see him as, I'm sad. What about the sealy man? (aka him wrestling a god for a while and making him tell him answers) The exiled prince? The younger brother? The angry charioteer who yelled at Antilochus? The man who interfered with his brother's letter to his wife to warn to not bring their daughter? Being the sweet uncle figure for Telemachus? (he and Penelope get a lot of the same treatment in a way. with the whole "just the spouse" ;~; )

Psyche:

I think she's pretty popular, but shout out to her anyway :D Because I love her story a lot.

And last but absolutely not least,

Penelope

Heads up once more, but I'm going to be so fucking mean right now. I'm very tired and runnin on 4 hours of sleep and my tummy hurts. This is all over the place and I'm sad.

I think some of you treat the fact that Odysseus is (rightfully) obsessed with her and adores her as if that's HER personality trait... as while it's adorable to see him simping over her as he does, she's not just there for him (and me) to simp for. In the same vein, I think some of y'all only see her for her love of Odysseus and nothing more. Some folks don't see her as anything more than what she is for Odysseus.

AS IF HER HUSBAND ISN'T JUST AS INTERTWINED WITH HER AS SHE IS WITH HIM!

And yet, there is so much stuff with him about the other people in his life. The other Achaeans, Polites and Eurylochus, Athena, etc. You know Penelope has people in her life other than her husband and her son, right?

Even stuff that's just her, it's usually her weaving the shroud...That still ties back to Odysseus. If you wanna have her weave, maybe have her weave something happily. Maybe her chatting with Anticlea or Athena while she does! Or Helen! or her sister!

There's the saying of "the characters respect women but the author does not" and I'm noticing that a LOT in this fandom. I don't think it's intentional, but it's very telling with what people prioritize in their creations how they feel. (and no, I'm not talking about Homer. He wrote incredible women.)

I'm not saying you're not allowed to have favorites. But even if Odysseus IS your favorite, if you have Penelope so one note or with such weak characterization while having so much for Odysseus, FOR THE MEN WHO HE IS NEAR... It's just really telling.

I've even seen some shit with "Well, there's not much to do with her." as if y'all don't make OCs with less. I've seen people give Astyanax, an AU baby, more characterization than her. (Have him alive in your AUs but if you give him more character than Peenlope, I am side-eying you so hard.)

It genuinely pisses me off how overlooked she is. I hate how her tags are basically empty (honestly? I might start tagging my silliness for her correctly because it has so lil.)

Hey, why do followers of the other tags show up but not for #penelope of ithaca? It's clearly because she has SO many followers/fans that she broke tumblr! Especially with the fact that you can scroll all the way to the bottom pretty quickly! /sarcasm

(btw, before you say something, I know there's no consistent tag for Penelope. I follow many of them. #penelope odyssey is kind of the best bet I believe. #penelope of sparta is mostly about that new show that's coming out and hyping about it. still not about HER. #penelope mostly has some bridgerton character. so yeah. Not much on tumblr)

(shoutout to the artists who got their art on front of the tag! That's exciting! I'm being a mean bitch right now but that's fun and exciting!)

I hate how people see her as so one-note. I hate how she's often just "Odysseus' wife". MOST CONTENT OF HER IS HIM SIMPING OVER HER. (that's something I'm guilty of too! I plan to fix that soon. I have so many wips and so lil time and too high of personal standards because since she has so little content of her, I WILL make it good. I'll TRY to make it good.)

EVEN HEADCANONS! SO MUCH OF FANDOM STILL ONLY HAS HEADCANONS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ODYSSEUS OR TELEMACHUS. GIVE ME SOMETHING ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD. GIVE ME LIL QUIRKS SHE HAS. What does she struggle with? What's her favorite color? Does she like dancing? ANYTHING.

Feelings about how fandom sees her are also summed up by this and this.

...Do you see my problem? Just one of my problems?

So many people genuinely read the Odyssey and just see her as the "crying wife". People diminish her character and her intelligence all the fucking time. You wanna know something I've noticed? PEOPLE ONLY TALK ABOUT HER INTELLIGENCE WHEN ODYSSEUS IS THERE. Like with how she tricks him and how she tricks the suitors. Nobody talks about the moment when Athena appears as her sister in her dream and she is immediately like "hey, if you're some god, is my husband still alive?" she clocks her as Athena RIGHT AWAY.

People constantly forget her violent thoughts against the suitors! Or when she sasses Telemachus and Euryclea. When she scolds and threatens the maids. (she's not always nice y'all!) Do you really think Odysseus would be obsessed with someone who isn't on his level?

We all know that he loves her. BUT WHY?! "Because she's smart like him." Yeah, we know. WHAT ELSE?

They are Likeminded! Thinking and acting alike! You know how fun that is?!

Homer, you absolute mad lad genius. You made her a mystery to the narrator, Odysseus, and for some reason, people see that as her just being a straight up mystery. You wrote her so wonderfully and so complex with how she is so sneaky in her own way that people are literally tricked by her as readers as well!

Or sadly, more likely, people fucking blackout when she's in the scene and there's no Odysseus. 🙄

Look, even if you have Penelope be the "braincell" who keeps her husband in line, MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT ACTING LIKE ODYSSEUS' FUCKING MOM. They're both grown ass adults for fuck's sake!

Also...please...PLEASE have her be more than a prop for the men around her. I've read some things that could literally have her be replaced by Euryclea, as Penelope is sometimes just used as a sounding board.

I'll be even more bitchier. Even in the OT3 she's commonly in. It wasn't a NOTP until I noticed most creations of that ship was just "Odysseus and this person for 6000+ words... Oh, and Penelope making an appearance in the footnotes." If it's an OT3, they all love each other right? Where's the PenDio fics/art, cowards?

I have a weird theory about how people treat her that way. (other than fandom prioritizing men)

So there's "girlbossing" and "uwu sad victim" that fandom can never seem to leave. I think People do this with Helen and Clytemnestra and that's why THEY are "blorbo-able". (not saying they shouldn't be but they definitely get more love than Penelope)

Helen, despite not always being a victim in her story, has been through so much. Kidnapped and some people blame her for it (irl and some people in canon do blame the war on her). Very easy to cling to. I cling to her too! (she's on the "UwU always victim. tragic blorbo" end)

Clytemnestra, is a victim in the sense that she's a grieving and angry mother and wife. And so she killed Agamemnon. Her violence and anger is seen as "girlboss" despite all the horrible stuff she also did to her children. (she's more on the "girlboss" end)

Penelope, is not a victim to the same degree as Helen nor does she murder anyone (how could she? it was 108 people against her and the Odyssey shows that the suitors' parents were enraged. Even Odysseus was skeptical he could beat them.)

She's not on either end of the "scales" for people to find her "blorbo-able". She doesn't murder her husband or the suitors by herself or is a victim to them in the same way Helen is.

And that's just for people who know her husband didn't cheat. I think with people who think Odysseus did cheat, they hate her because "she let it slide". That she's "weakwilled" for knowing her husband went through literal hell and wanting him to be happy and safe.

Idk, It's a little lonely being one of the few "Penelope crazy" blogs.

I sometimes wonder if people kind of come to my blog in a "Hey, can you love her for me? Can you think about her for us?" as I have seen very little on her childhood for example. It's STILL mostly in relation to others.

It's not even the "sharing ideas" that bugs me. it's the feeling of people not wanting to come up with headcanons/ideas for her OUTSIDE of canon.

"She was in Helen's shadow." Okay, well, how did she feel about it? What did she do about it? Did she hide away? Did she internalize that? Did she find that freeing? To not be the center of attention?

Stuff like that. Dive DEEPER. PLEASE

It makes me happy that people love my Penelope as I love her too, clearly. But I really fucking hope you love the CANON Penelope too. If you think I made Penelope "better" or anything like that, then leave. She's already fantastic on her own.

I want to talk about her more. I want her to be seen more.

[demontouched]

so. good old, dear old, dead dad reggie can't control a tempermental 4 year old with super powers, so instead of sitting her down with a therapist, he locks her in a noise cancelling room, puts her on mood stabalizers, and forces her only sister to use her super powers to convince her that she doesn't have superpowers. and then, to make matters worse, he leaves her out of everything, makes her feel insignificant, and isolates her from the only people who could possibly understand. and when she finally stops the mood stabalizers, she is manipulated and isolated by a different asshole who was created by her father and his own father. and finally, when she might have been getting a handle on everything, those siblings that she was isolated from and who spent most of their lives ignoring her, isolate her the same way their father did! and they wonder how she is capable of killing pogo, of destroying their home, of hurting allison? they wonder why she is so angry? five is so entrenched in saving the world that he barely notices anyone, klaus is in a sobriety battle, luther is wrapped up in his own trauma and ego, diego is trying to recreate the glory days and get revenge, ben is literally dead but he's trying to help klaus. the only one who paid any sort of attention to vanya before she went on a world ending rampage was allison, but she was also blinded by her own problems (as valid as they were). vanya just wanted to be included.

y'all. i know v is viktor (now :/) but i had just finished e10 of s1 here. i would've been so incredibly stoked to see that they accepted elliot's transition and kept him on and changed his character to reflect that. i still am happy with it, but i don't get to freak out about it now. i don't get to scream and laugh and kick my feet when i see it on screen. i will still feel joy, but it will not be the same and it makes me sad. if i had gotten far enough to see vanya become viktor, don't you think i would've tagged it as viktor? used he/him instead of she/her? been the respectful and accepting person i am? ugh idk.

[meerkeri]

Gonna oh my semi-incoherent thoughts in the tags so as to not accidentally spoil <3

As someone who’s builder is dating Pen is not sure I like this update so far KDJSKD

[tea-and-secrets]

I keep ignoring the calls and texts from my boyfriend and friend and I feel so bad but also I really hate them and they are so annoying. Everyone time they open their mouths I feel the intense urge to hit them as hard as I can over and over until they stop moving. I don't like either of them, I never have liked them, I just took pity on them. And I'm pretty sure this makes me a bad person, and I don't want to be a bad person, but how do I stop this in the nicest way possible?

How do I break up with him and stop hanging out with her? Do I just say "oh yeah I have always thought you were super annoying and I only hung out with you because it was clear no one else cared about you and I genuinely never meant it to go this far and I feel awful for doing this and I'm so sorry"

Now I can see why no one wanted to hang out with them. Every time I'm with them, they only want to do the things they like and they don't care about my interests or feelings at all.

My friend complains that I always get angry with her, and I do, but only after hours of her clinging to me and getting upset that I don't want to learn and perfect 15 different kpop dances and watch annoying movies that she's just going to talk through anyway. She is also constantly pestering my sisters who I live with, trying to force them to be her friends too and then gets all upset when they actually have a spine and say they don't want to hang out with her. She either always has her way or cries and yells.

And my boyfriend. Ugh, what a loser. It doesn't matter if I get angry with him or sad or happy. It doesn't notice. Sometimes I play up how upset I am, acting like even more of a bitch than normal. His friends notice. They ask if I'm okay. But from him? Nothing. Zero reaction. He just wants someone pretty who will praise him and give him money every once in a while and support him in his brainless career. When we went to Disney land, he went off with his friends and pretended I didn't exist hours, then when I finally found where he was (by accident, because he never told me), he still only wanted to go on the rides and into the shops he cared about. I had to intentionally loose him again just so I could do what I wanted. I was all alone at Disney with no one who would talk to me or care about me.

They are both so selfish and behave like toddlers when they are full grown adults, but they are people, and I don't want to hurt them. Not because I care about them, goodness no, but because I never want to hurt anyone. But being around them makes me want to do something awful. My mental health is in the gutter. I'm so tired.

.