#i am just a hater apparently i dont even know this man

[aahsoka]

austin butler in this yves saint laurent perfume ad gives me big The Deep vibes

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[nishnormp]

cheavy ramblings

Been thinking about the stinky BLU classic heavy from the comics lately. He's basically the villain of the final issues, and was practically built to be unlikeable from the start so his defeat could be more satisfying; buut since its been years since an update came out and I am slowly going insane, I think it would be funky to explore him more (bonus cmedic feature)

Few disclaimers: I'm not excusing his actions (I myself think hes a bitch) and I do NOT ship him with tf2 medic (also I dont think tf2 medic is unmasked cmedic bc 1)why would he sabotage himself in the issues by acting like That 2)uhh reasons later 3)this panel) also some of my takes aren't original, but I've expanded on em a bit

P1: Medic hater activities

As we all know, cheavy's greatest sin was dunking on + killing tf2 medic

Somehow he and tfc demo got sidetracked by medic's question, but the most hostile he gets towards tf2 medic here is jeering at the fact that they're going to hunt down his old team; which tf2 medic doesn't seem bothered by.

( @number1yisuchongfan actually brought this up before me) This panel pretty much sums up why cheavy is pissed: medic was implied to have a record of being weird with parts (he lost his license bc he stole a man's skeleton), he blew ALL of his budget meant for healing on exotic parts (that he put in cheavy's teammates), AND he revived the enemy (said enemy slips away a few panels later just as cheavy gets informed that three of his mercs died).

(also, the weird p3do tfc scout and soldier arent included in the 'three good men', since they died much later) Speaking of the 'good men' comment-

P2: Good leader at some point?? Not anymore tho

Hes gruff and an ass, but cheavy has a soft spot for his team; the tf2 mercs call each other strictly by their classes, but the tfc ones know each other names (also see cheavy's way of describing his dead teammates and his immediate reaction to go over there rather than curse/assume their incompetence)

He gets curious about australium, and from here on out he gets fixated on it- enough to be more unreasonable than usual. Cheavy is pretty amicable with Bea, and the way he acts with her is probably more in-character for what he was like back in his prime rather than the hot-tempered man that the later panels show.

I mean . He and his team were highly recommended and even took out ALL of the admin's elite teams, leaving the tf2 team for last. He may be a drill sergeant, but I don't think he was a genuine tyrant for most of his career; they aren't purely business-basis with each other (some of them formed close bonds, like fred and virgil), plus- any elite team would be able to capitalize on an overly prideful and control freaky leader (+a constantly demoralized team) sooner.

With three of his mercs dead and his plans failing against a team that he saw as rejects, the mental strain is showing badly. Tfc mercs don't have much personality in their games (or their own comic about them during their prime) but one of the few dynamics mentioned is between the Heavy and the Engineer+Medic. Tfc engie is the one who stepped up to ask about cheavy's plans, and he also gets the brunt of his anger. Earlier, cheavy answered bea's question and encouraged her, but now he's yelling and mocking the capabilities of one of the men he coordinates with the most.

Tfc scout's line may just be him not understanding/underestimating australium (esp since apparently cheavy had to ask grey mann what it even did), but it also reads as him seeing cheavy having officially gone off his rocker; his shaky grasp over leadership might kill the team before being deprived of yellow rocks does. Both scout and engie are thrown off by his attitude, implying that cheavy isn't usually like this (I can't imagine them being coordinated if they all shrimp away like that).

His line of thinking for both of these situations are pretty questionable. For the first one, he knows that the bots extract australium from the body, but he also knows that the mercs likely have nothing in them anyways (note the emphasis on his dead mercs, this is him taking revenge but also he is NAWT going to get any australium for those extra immortality machines which is still a pressing issue for his engie). In the second one, he first tells medic that they'll try figuring out how to stitch the machine on him, which leads to medic stabbing him and cheavy retaliating. Cheavy then goes all the way with attempting to kill him, stating that he'll just gets his answers from the administrator. Its soon revealed that he wants to fight tf2 heavy, but even that is ??? Like cheavy knows that he and his team are old as hell, but he's going to try having a fair fight with a guy in his prime anyways? He didn't even know that he could just slap on the machine at the time, and the unnecessary risk for what seems to be a quest to satisfy his ego is antithetical to his supposed goal of getting the rocks and making his team immortal. At this point, his hatred of medic has completely overridden his rationality; there were many ways for him to have killed both of them, yet he didn't take em.

P3: Cmedic

I saw some posts abt how cheavy is likely coded as homophobic due to how he treats medic (a presumably gay-coded character) bc of the "stay in the kitchen"-esque dialogue, and the way cheavy undermines him in verbal + physical ways. I do not have a very solid defense for this . aside from everything I listed before.

Just to clarify, I think its cheavy's fault for alienating medic from the start: loss of medical license aside, medic's inventions DO work splendidly for healing. Would it have been more concerning since medic is . meant to heal? Maybe. But mercs are literal murderers for hire, personality quirks should be the last of their priorities. The guy is passionate about showing off his stuff, and he was even enthusiastic about getting on the battlefield and healing cheavy. I'm not saying medic was going to be 100% loyal, but he's willing to do his job for the classics as long as he wasn't disrespected so damn much.

The tfc mercs with personalities are ones that oppose their tf2 counterpart; tfc sniper is a sadist rather than a swift professional, tfc pyro is...also a sadist rather than having tf2 pyro's misguided bubbliness, and cheavy does not respect his team's (current) medic. This in conjunction with the complete and utter lack of not just presence but also mention of tfc medic leads to the popular belief that the guy just up and left because of the disrespect.

(Writing inconsistencies be damned I like to cope) so what if it wasn't the case?

These are one of the few lines in tfc that describe a cooperative nature between certain classes. Like I mentioned earlier, tfc has less media compared to tf2 so its easy to slot personalities onto them as villains (tfc sniper's gun blowing people into giblets kinda helps), but I don't think these can be ignored. Fred was the one who represented the rest of the team's opinions to cheavy, and the phrasing in the second pic is even stronger; the heavymedic duo was always a thing, even in tfc.

Sort of. Gameplay-wise, cmedic is more like a roided out scout armed with a medkit that can give enemies and disguised spies tuberculosis, grenades that can send him across the map, and a gun that can destroy sentries (situational). He doesn't need to cling to his more offensive teammates as much as tf2 medic, and while his kit can instantly heal a teammate to full no matter the percentage + give overheal- its strictly melee ranged and has no ubercharge. In a narrative sense, cmedic would most likely oppose tf2 medic as a more 'grounded' healer. He prevents damage to his team by erasing enemies himself, doesn't go too overboard with his biochemical arsenal (his brew is potent but hes stuck with the melee-ranged kit and no crazy mechanic like uber), and can typically run off by himself (provided he isn't jumped by two soldiers or smth). Its a matter of game design, but can translate to the comics in an interesting way.

Medic is the only one who speaks of cmedic, and while the mention itself has no violent reaction- no one else speaks of him. I can't imagine him being easily forgotten since the heavymedic duo is just too iconic, so what if smth exceptionally horrible just happened to him? If cmedic was close to cheavy than everyone else, his loss/disappearance could explain cheavy's immediate dislike for tf2 med; not only replacing his own med, but with the complete opposite in terms of personality as well.

(I could expand on cmedic more, but this post is already long enough as is so I'll probably just make a separate one gah)

[machiavellli]

I watched the two first episodes of 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓐𝓬𝓸𝓵𝔂𝓽𝓮 and I got thoughts:

SPOILERS BELOW

First of all I just would like to say that most of the negative reviews that I saw where pretty thrown around just beacuse haters can’t help themself. So I don’t think this is the “worst sw product ever1!1!”, but I do got some (constructive) criticism myself and I want to express MY opinions (I am allowed to have and share them).

Let’s start with the positive aspects of this show

Fighting scenes and choreographies:

I was really impressed by the actions sequences. I’m glad that at least in this aspect Star Wars (after whatever happened in the sequels) is putting more effort in creating more impressive fighting scenes, but in the specific lightsaber fights!

Even if, yes, the lightsabers haven’t been used as much as I hoped, I still found this fighting style really mesmerizing. Now I’m not a martial art expert, so I won’t comment on that, but I just want to say that I do find this style way more appropriate than actually using a lightsaber all the time. It just makes sense for a Jedi of that time to minimize their usage of their weapon. They are at a high point of history, there is no war, just (apparent) peace.

I was afraid that the jumps would weird me out, but I gotta say that I liked them!!

How they showcased the temple and the characterization of the Jedi:

First thing first: ANOTHER LIVE ACTION TEMPLE OTHER THAN THE ONE IN THE CAPITAL???? Miracle!!! (Even if the interior design was questionable but I think they are just very isolated jedis and that’s their style? Idk man, there was literal sand in a corner tho??)

I appreciated how they showed Jedis as humans.

Sol is a jedi at heart yes, he is clearly suffering at the idea of his former padwan in such position, but he stays focused. Also I do get the comparison with Qui Gon, especially at the end of episode 2 when he tries to stick to the hunt, going against the council decision, but he still follows their leading in the end. But anyway, do not attack my new Star Wars father figure‼️

Yord also has his heart in the right place, I’m sure of it, he just wishes to help, but it’s clear that in this desperate search for perfection (brotha quoted the code by memory and was ironing his clothes for AN OUTSIDE MISSION💀 ) he might be losing what being a Jedi actually means. He always being the one to reach his lightsaber first :(( I’m really interested in seeing his development!

Jecki my smart girl, please humble Yord more often, that was the funniest part in the two episodes. I just want to say that her being 18 and going on her FIRST mission is so special and heartbreaking for me, just think the comparison with Ahsoka becoming a soldier at 14.

I also really liked the fact that the two Jedis killed got killed by their own compassion. Perfect.

Osha character:

Maybe it’s obvious, maybe not, but IN MY OPINION (so far) she is the best written character of the whole show (this actually comes from a critic that I have about the writing of the show, but it’s not the case for this character!)

Maybe it’s also that she is genuinely so sweet for me, I DONT KNOW I GET THIS VIBE FROM HER OKAY?? But she is the character I enjoyed the most in those first two episodes.

It’s just that I feel like we got to see only one side of the other characters, while with Osha she already feels like a well rounded character. We see her in various situations, in various states of mind, from the fear and then the calm of meeting her former master, to being taken by the negative feelings, the rage, she still preserves from her past. It was a great spectrum.

Also she was standing way more out as her own character than any one else in the show (see writing criticism below) and I liked that.

The actress was often carrying the show when put side to side with the other characters. (I’m under the impression that not everyone was giving their best performance tbh…but Amandla Stenberg was great!)

Really interested to see how the whole trauma/I just found my presumed dead twin alive/the Jedis I left are back thing will play out of her.

Also shoutout to Star Wars for continuing the tradition of the main character with a new cute droid. Gotta be one of my favourite tropes 🙏

Love this duo<333

In between opinions

I’m not going to comment on the plot YET, I find that it’s too early, but I was surprised by the decision of reveling the twin plot right away?

I was expecting it to be one the main thing that they would dance around for the whole series, but maybe I was under the wrong impression. It’s just that it felt rushed. But that’s a problem that comes down the fact that those episodes are TOO SHORT!!

I wasn’t also pleased by the fact that MASTER Indara died with that tiny knife in her chest. Like okay, maybe it was directly through the heart, but still: it doesn’t feel justified. Star Wars needs to decide a common trajectory, we can have people that survive a light saber in their stomach and others that die from far less concerning attacks. Also Osha surviving a terrible crash without a scratch?? Uhm.

Fire in space, gotta be my favorite mistake in space fiction products🙏 (I know that math and physics ain’t USA favorite subjects but cmonnnnnn, even Star Trek did this and uh😭😭). But anyway, I wouldn’t count it as this big mistake that everyone is freaking out about, because again, it’s common (somehow), and also was need for the trauma moment. 👍

But…25 MILIONS for episode, 12’500$ PER SECOND. We could have done better uh🧍‍♀️

And on this last bitter tone…

Negative aspects (it was bound to happen sorry)

The writing:

I have two main bones to pick at:

The quality of the lines,

Every character (besides Osha) is missing a speech pattern, some characterization…

I personally found the their speech to be not as cured as I was hoping for a show that had 4 years of development.

“Attach me with all of your strength” I literally heard in my head: 🦗🦗🦗

Sorry but some of Mae lines especially weren’t it (kinda funny when I actually enjoyed Osha’s)

Also yes, the characters were missing characterization through the dialogue, which is pretty crucial when you are showcasing brand the characters that no one knows. I just wished they weren’t so flat in that aspect.

I especially had a weird feeling with Sol, I do like him, but some of the lines weren’t it. I think it was also a bit the delivery, but I don’t want to attack the actor.

I wish their words were more expressive. Painted by their personality.

The poem was okay, this one ⬇️

I found it cute, but nothing too crazy

(Also side note that I don’t know where to put: the little twin looked like the Snapchat baby filter. Idk you can’t change my mind😭)

Also the pace of the storytelling per se: it felt rushed but at the same time slow, because I’m sorry but the delivering was a tad boring. I was expecting more.

To sum up: I was expecting more (I’ll say this till the end 180M budget) from the writing 🧍‍♀️

Costumes:

Before you all attack me: I did liked them, but with that budget I was expecting more. Let me explain

I really liked that they changed clothes when they went outside, leaving the white and yellow for the more ceremonials acts (like studying) for then changing for the outside. I loved that touch. In particular Yord attire in his first scenes was so good

I like their outfit so much (I hope the dope Padawan returns btw🧎‍♀️)

But, because there is a but, there is something weird about their clothings.

Now, I know that I am a prequels apologist and all, but you see how well clothes fit there:

They look realistic here, garments that have been actually worn

It’s just that their clothes look like they are sitting on them (have you in mind when people say “oh this foundation is sitting on my face” yeah in that sense, in the sense that doesn’t melt well)

NOOO IVE FINISHED THE GIFS LIMIT. TUMBLR UGH- (no more cool gifs guys😔)

It’s not a huge problem, but I wanted to say it regardless.

The set and lighting:

It’s just that for that type of budget and for that amount of time I was expecting some cinematic level of show. Maybe my bad (again), but the set looked often plastic and the lighting wasn’t really helping either.

Some scenes were well done: the ones in the Coruscant temple, the shore and in the bar/restaurant at the beginning were well done.

But especially the set in the second episode did not impress me at all.

Final thoughts:

Thanks Star Wars for making BTS canon🙏🙏 (THE TATTOO TOOK ME OUT OK?)

It’s hard to judge on just those two episodes, I feel like they haven’t told much, but for now I can only say that I will keep watching, without expecting too much (even if I should given the cost of the show).

I was interested in this project because I was excited to see the high republic in live action, but I don’t think this show will portray the typical high republic type of Jedis, something in between. I just hope that for once they will treat the jedi nicely because they can’t ever take a break in this franchise uh😭

Also I got a question…because if the Sith have been extinct for a millennium, according to the Jedi in the movies, by the time of the phantom menace…how will all of this play out??

Will they all die and the Jedis will just hide the evidence? But what about Yoda (or Yaddle)? Okay that he is chilling away but doesn’t make much sense…anyway I think I’ll have my answer by the end of the show.

Overall vote: 6/10 (a tad more than sufficient, I’m not feeling generous tonight🧍‍♀️)

It’s not a bad show, absolutely, I was just expecting more. It still has time to redeem itself!

[lawtistic]

my ranking of mystic messenger main outfits except i know nothing about fashion and have really bad opinions

10; Ray

minor spoilers ahead also i dont know how to work tumblr apparently so the keep reading is going after the first ranking label

i have more to say under this im just currently mentally absent right now

what the fuck is that. what. did he forget what century we are in? i like the magenta on him but girl who let you leave your cell looking like an elizabethan

i prefer ray over saeran but not if hes wearing this because to ellys smelly ass litterbox and back i will burn that ruffled collar if it the last thing i ever do in my life

9; Casual & Deep Story V

why is bro built like a stripper pole??? hes just unnaturally long and its disturbing to a point that i cant not take it into consideration even if this is an outfit ranking

that haircut is not it for you man and get new sunglasses i know why you have them but pick something else theres something off

the outfit is so overwhelmingly basic and void of color and its really a spoiler for how hes blind because he could not have consciously put this together

8; Yoosung

again hes built like a stripper pole but to a much lesser degree

ive always felt uncomfortable looking at yoosung and his big beady eyes. do not get me wrong i love yoosung but i always feel like he knows my sins

those shoes are hideous, get rid of them. get a better haircut because this one does not make me feel any better about him and its so horrenously big that i know his hair is full of secrets

the shirt is fine, i guess, and i like the jacket, i also have nothing to say about the pants. i like the color palette but thats it. i would have ranked it higher if he didnt give me carpal tunnel with a single glance

7; Jumin

i have little to nothing to say about this. its a basic suit

i like the little bit of purple because thats his color and its cool

his legs are oddly skinny and long in comparison to the rest of him tho and its making it to where i want to classify him as built like a stripper pole but its just his legs so i cant

6; Jaehee

same with Jumin but she's less basic due to the accessories and the tights

i fucking live for those tights. those are great tights. people need to talk about her tights.

i have nothing else to say except justice for jaehee kang's tights i love those on her

5; Zen

he was originally switched with jaehee but then i realized hes wearing his own damn logo and i could not ignore that

only he would wear his own logo on his jacket like that and pose in the such a way to flex it the best he possibly could. i didnt even realize he had a logo but hes literally wearing it what

the rest of the outfit is bland and mid but wow hes wearing his own logo

also rat tail

4; Another Story V

he looks physically functional!! wow!!

this is such an upgrade, i love the haircut on him now he looks like a wet dog and its amazing

the outfit is kind of mid but it looks better on him and its still okay i would let him leave the house in this

3; 707

by most standpoints this outfit isnt that fantastic and hes only this high because i said so

its overall kind of basic but i like the hoodie and i love his funky glasses and for some reason cross necklaces make people hotter despite the fact im wiccan

the jeans are so... eh? but you cant really put anything better with this??? im a certified jean hater but i literally cannot think of anything else to put on him instead

also those shoes are fucking horrendous

2; Vanderwood

this is why i have bad opinions because i like leopard print. fight me.

this is such a fancy suit that i have nothing negative to say about it

you can tell hes a whore just by looking at him. i wish he had a route

1; Saeran

ah yes i have one alter in last place and the other in first. this isnt that funny i just think its ironic

"youre biased!!! you dress like this youre so biased!!!" yes i am. i am so biased. why do you think 707 is number 3?

the leather jacket is iconic as well as the black and red combo

the bracelet and??? choker thing??? what is that??? looks very nice on him and i like the tattoo (even if it means something i do not like)

"where is rika?" between my steel knuckles would you like a visit

[ljbrary]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @anxiety-banana HEY AB ILY I'M SORRY I KNOW YOU TAGGED ME IN THIS A MONTH AGO SO THIS IS SO LATE BUT STILL

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

101,550

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now ive been writing for the last of us but most of my fics are star wars (specifically most of them are the clone wars) and i have one six of crows fic

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

all of them are star wars fics

lean on me (but let me laugh, first)

don't fix it if it's not broken (but broken's only a point of view)

fill the hollow space with silence (and other words of comfort that aren't so comforting)

it's a process (you wouldn't understand)

it's not good grief (but it's better)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i think i get to most of them and i seriously try my best to but like i struggle with replying to even my texts irl and i have no concept of time at all (the adhd is adhd-ing unfortunately) but every single one literally makes my life

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i think either the love only lasts so long (the grief lasts longer, the guilt never leaves) or this silence hurts worse than the truth (if only you would tell it) which are quite literally the same exact situation just from different povs because i have never had an original thought in my life. it's post-mortis arc in the clone wars with anakin and ahsoka and the transparently trauma-shaped elephant in the room between them.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i honestly have no idea? so im just going to say my tlou fic statistically significant because although its bittersweet it ends with joel and ellie together and thats literally all i need to be happy at this point in my life.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, but i probably should.

(that was a joke. but like if i did its fine bc i have 3 brothers who've already found my ao3 and bullied me for it so the hater would prob need to get real creative after all that lmao.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

no

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

no i dont have the executive functioning skills necessary to plan one of those out but they sound interesting.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

guys my fics aren't that good. if someone stole it they'd just return it no worries.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no i haven't but that would be sick.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

like ab said in her post, ab, ash, and i tried but it just never came to fruition but it was a fun attempt

also my older brother and i when we were younger tried to write a percy jackson fic together.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i like found family more than romantic stuff, but if i have to choose definitely percabeth because they are the reason i have unrealistic expectations in life.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ALL OF THEM IM SO BAD AT FINISHING THEM

16. What are your writing strengths?

thats so funny lmfao

okay but self deprecation aside idk maybe like imagery or metaphors sometimes? also apparently writing emotion ig? my english teacher in high school told me i was good at the psychological aspect of understanding a character and their actions/emotions but i don't know man

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

for starters, starting. im supremely bad at starting things. i always struggle with intros/the beginning of writing pieces. and i struggle with plotting/planning things. i also am incapable of writing genuine dialogue, every conversation i write sounds so disjointed and awkward. i also tend to focus too much on the introspective aspect of characters and forget about that irrelevant little thing called a "plot."

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i made up my own language for a few star wars fics and it was so atrocious that i can't even bring myself to reread them again so i think i'll be staying away from that one for a little while.

however if i was smart or savvy enough to pull it off i would totally do it that would be sick.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson when i was 10 years old on wattpad. my older brother and i co-wrote the fic and then i made my friend at school edit it on the computers in the library. still have yet to live that one down.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

weighted words hurt more than loaded fists (if you know how to use them) i have a soft spot for it even though it's one of my least popular fics in terms of like hits and kudos. its just a found family (shocker, i know) modern/foster care au with rex and ahsoka. i like the imagery, metaphors, and just the vibes overall.

okay leaving this open to anyone who wants to do it!!

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

OHH MY GOD THE "BEYOND..." OPTION I FORGOT AB THAT ONE!!! sksw link is such a rascal i love him so...

and donot fucking worry i know EXACTLY what ur talking abt with how it permeates the tags and ao3. finding good ao3 fics is impossible and ESPECIALLY for sksw and oot. im surprised ive found what good ones i can man. also i could talk for hours alone about how L/U has impacted malons character bc i adore her to the point of devoting a major part of my post-oot aus to what happens to her and seeing how shes interpreted nowadays is so. hhhhh !!!!!!! :((( stop making her a scolding mother figure stop making her Links Wife and nothing else she can be so much more than just that!!!!!!!!!!!! aauauausbaa. actually i could talk forever and ever abt how fanon link and malon and zelda tends to make them the worst possible versions of themselves and how l/u kinda perpetuates that but its 1 am and i have a fic to write so fffff

and the names man the names. its such a small thing (and im no stranger to sometimes using those abbreviations in some of my posts when i get especially verbose or have to talk abt multiple links all at once) but i try to go outta my way to refer to the chars as [game] [name] just to make it as clear as possible that im not talking abt the l/u counterparts. theyre practically their own chars to me at this point which sucks when im looking for content of my favs sksw link or oot link and i get Sleepy Soft Boy and Responsible Serious Soldier like no! no!!!!! thats my purse i dont know you /ref!!!!!!!

anyways. maybe i am just old and not with it since ive been a loz fan almost my entire life but it is nice to see someone who feels the same 👍 ty for lettin me complain for a moment there.

on a lighter note tell me about the "sksw link is not actually sleepy" thing bc im curious. its a thing thats mentioned abt pre-destiny link but after zelda falls it does kinda go away aside from the eyebags in his character model and i wanna kno what u hafta say ab it.........

You and I, we can be haters together

The one SMALL mercy I've found while looking up loz fics is that there's no lu fics in the ghiralink tag. For obvious reasons I think. Everywhere else seems to be a fucking HELLHOLE (the first thing I search when I first start looking for fics in a fandom is time travel and uh-- you can imagine what I found (BARELY FUCKING ANYTHING (and also lu)))

Also I haven't gotten around to watching an oot playthrough yet-- is it really that bad with Malon? (For the record I much prefer zelink and like-- I don't even really like zelink all that much beyond ss. And also I hc oot as siblings sometimes. So yeah.)

Honestly I would love to play oot but I can't :( and alas, watching playthroughs is just dreadfully dull (I got a decent way through an mm one though but gave up eventually). Regarding oot link's character though-- I admit I myself have not yet written a fic where it's not lu (or adjacent) so I don't really get the intricacies of his character (see also aforementioned playthrough dullness) so like. If you ever want to talk to someone about it all I would be interested

I also do the name thing, with game then character (on one hand the "hero titles" is just lazy and i really hate how it's become common and they would never give each other names like that but on the other the reason I haven't written much for MY links meet au is because I can't come up with 12 names that don't sound stupid and are also names they would give each other, so. And also apparently those names aren't official to lu (in comic jojo will use things like the old man (time) the smithy (four) the rancher (twilight) and full hero titles on posts (hero of the skies, hero of the four sword, etc)). So as you can see all bad things come from fandom, in this essay I will,

Ok so. It's been a while since I've fully played ss (like two months but my memory is just shit). So I might be wrong. But Link simply does not seem very sleepy to me? Especially not to the extent he is in lu.

For one-- our first introduction to him is him sleeping, yes, and we get told by many npcs and Zelda herself that he oversleeps, but there's a VAST difference between oversleeping and being sleepy. I myself am bad at alarms and such and beyond Premium Loftwing Mail (letter spat in your face) there's really nothing to wake him up, so he'd probably just sleep too long

Also he's been having dreams about the Imprisoned for who knows how long. Dude probably ain't sleeping that well (fi I love you but I think that might have been a mistake)

(Side note he's still in school and there's an open book on his desk-- he COULD be staying up late studying. Unlikely but I think that would be interesting)

Honestly it all just seems like teasing to me-- there's no indication that he's ACTUALLY constantly sleeping too long, just that it's happened enough times that some people have noticed (and it's not like everyone says it). Honestly the only thing pointing to a constant sleepiness is his "sit too long on a stool and start nodding off" animation (which is still like, really funny imo. how are you even DOING that you are SITTING STRAIGHT UP)

Now, delving into my own hcs and such-- he did not sleep. After Impa calls him lazy and too late at the earth temple, something I think would distinctly Fuck Him Up (he SAW the chains Zelda was held by), he would simply-- forgo sleep until it was necessary. I've seen estimates that sksw took place over about 11 months, and that's what I generally use in my fics, so-- my dude really said "I wont rest until I find Zelda" and then took a knife to his sleep schedule

(Side note-- do you think they held a funeral (or Skyloft equivalent) for Zelda? Like it seems that after a week or so of searching, the reasonable conclusion of her being dead would be reached (especially if her bird came back, which-- what's up with that? There must be some nesting area for loftwings, so either it would be seen there or it would also be presumed alongside Zelda if it got sucked down to the surface))

So anyway. His tiredness is self imposed, not something he's always had. (One of my febuwhump fics was that he was literally so exhausted he got hurt and passed out midfight. It was fun.)

Also like I don't know if it's just me but sleepy and tired have different meanings-- sleepy is, idk, cuter? Softer? And tired is. I haven't slept in 17 hours and before that I slept for three hours. (Maybe THAT'S just why it bugs me so much)

And also! Like you said! Beyond the eyebags (which are always there, lending credit to my theory of oversleeping because he simply didn't sleep well/enough) he's really... not tired OR sleepy for the majority of the game

Anyway moving onto lu :) SKY BEING THE LAZY ONE REALLY BUGS ME BECAUSE SIR HAVE YOU EVEN PLAYED THE GAME. YOU'RE GOING TO ASSIGN HIM THE ATTRIBUTE OF LAZINESS WHEN HE ALMOST CERTAINLY PUSHED HIMSELF HARDER TO RESCUE ZELDA AFTER BEING CALLED SUCH? AND THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO REDUCE HIM TO? YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST PICKED SOMETHING COOL LIKE "GOD KILLER" OR SOMETHING ACCURATE LIKE "LITTLE SHIT"

Ha. He's the one who bugs me the most because ss is my favorite game (not just Zelda game, favorite out of anything) and I've put literal hundred of hours into it. There's honestly more I could say but i fear I've already descended into "wildly incomprehensible"

[greensconnor]

i’m asking about your dragon age characters

molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now

anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts

uhhh so the worldstates r as follows

eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively

shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men

this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up

twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So

riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend

malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to

knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet

i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery

kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide

also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia

gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]

i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom

i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage

unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.

riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.

gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)

shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her

leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off

shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general

uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:

eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)

alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)

hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)

mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.

bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything

eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.

speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them

“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”

eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.

none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).

syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.

[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated

i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family

i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you

yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.

fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,

so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.

“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”

alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled

i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas

kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not

just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.

[tiava143]

Baby Boy

Chapter II (Highkey long)

Chapter 1

“So what you tryna do while mommy’s at work pop?” Erik said looking over at his son.

“Can we go to the park and hoop with CJ and cousin Cameron please?” Sage said. He enjoyed being around his cousin CJ since he was close to his age. CJ was Cameron’s oldest son, they had their kids around the same time so they are always around each other.

“Lemme see where they at.” Erik said dialing Cam’s number.

Erik shook his head chuckling, thinking about his crazy ass cousin Cameron.They were known as the Demon Twins when were together.(Let Solana and Terry tell it) Cameron is the loud outgoing smooth talker, while Erik was seen but not heard as much. But don’t think for one second they would let something happen to one another. People know not to test Erik but anyone that tries Cameron better move out of the country. They went to juvie together, hit their licks together. Shit they even had their kids together. They were thick as thieves, since they were youngins if you seen one you seen the other. Even though they were cousins ,they were brothers to outsiders.

“If you aint talkin’ money, ion wanna talk its Big Cam the p, what it be?” Cameron yelled in the phone.

“Get yo’ dusty ass up nigga. Ima come scoop you and jr we finna’ hit the park.” Erik laughed as he turned onto his block.

“Fuck you nigga that aint what ya’ baby mama said when i was in ha’ chest last night.” Cameron laughed. “Nigga dont shot, playin’ with my best friend name.” Erik heard his girlfriend Terry say over the phone. “Im just playin’ ma. But ight fool, gimme 10.”

“Hurry yo lanky ass up, we burnin’ daylight.”  Erik said hanging up and pulling in front of his cousin’s house. Sage got out the car and ran to the door and CJ answered the door to let them in.

“What’s the deal lil cuzzo?” Erik said walking into the house dapping him then sat on the couch. Sage and CJ ran into his room  to play video games. Terry came out the room and hugged Erik.

“Hey E. Why you up so early ?” She said walking into the kitchen to start cooking breakfast.

“Wassup squirt, I had to drop yo’ crazy ass best friend off at work. You know she stay on my ass about everything.” He said chuckling.

“Well if you just did what the fuck we ask then we wouldn’t be sweatin’ you all the time. Y'all just don’t fuckin’ listen. Just like ya hard headed cousin.” Terry said rolling her eyes and mixing the pancake batter.

“TJ I do listen to her, everytime some shit happens at her job I’m the listening to her rant all fuckin’ night about it.” He said shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m not talking about just that one time E. I mean listen like understand the shit we say and take it into consideration, not just listen as the words go through one ear and out the fucking other. We wanna feel like were valued. Not just a damn object yall fuck on. You wanna degrade and manipulate bitches you better go get Becky with the good hair, because us black queens aint finna deal with it.Periodt.” She ranted while pouring the batter on the skillet.

“Aw shit you done got her ass started.Every time you come over here she starts” Cameron said walking into the living room holding his 9 month on daughter Chanel. He daps Erik and hands Chanel to him then walks in the kitchen. Erik rocks her to sleep then lays her in her crib.

“Don’t even try and front with E. You know damn well i’ll fuck you up myself. Try that shit if you want to.” Terry Said mean-mugging him. Cameron wrapped his arms around her waist and placed soft kisses on her cheek.

“And you know Big Daddy don’t play that shit so I dare you to try me.” He said lowly into her ear then sucks on her earlobe. Erik groans watching then stands up.

“Man c'mon you bullshittin’ she gon’ be here when you come back. Gremlins let’s go or you gon’ get left.” He said walking out the door. The boys ran out the door and hopped in the car.

“I’ll save y'all some food for when y'all get back I know you gon be all grumpy when E whoops ya ass at the court.” Terry said walking Cam out the door laughing. Erik started laughing then hugged Terry.

“That’s a damn shame even yo’ girl know ima whoop yo ass Cam.” He said walking to the car and gets in. Cameron mugged her as he walked towards the car shaking his head.“You disloyal heffa. You suppose to be my number one supporter.” Cam said getting in the car and rolling the window up. Terry laughed as she went back in the house. Erik proceeded to drive off.

“Nigga how you let ya girl punk you like that?” Erik said looking at the songs on his phone to play.

“Fuck you, she only do it around you and Lana. Yall be gettin’ her started on them fuckin’ "I’m independent, fuck all these niggas,i don’t need a nigga for shit” rants. Like fuck…she’ll never be quiet.“ Cam said scrolling on insta. Erik chuckled looking over at him."Remind you of somebody? You like a tape recorder. You just keep going on and on and on. It’s a reason why you still with her. Am i wrong ?” He said pulling into the parking lot of the park.

“Im telling mommy you’re talking about her again. Daddy remember what she said the last time.” CJ said from the backseat looking at his dad.

Erik looked back  at him and started laughing. “What she say CJ?”

“She said ‘Keep that saamee energy.’ ” He said rolling his neck how Terry does it. Erik was rolling when he got out the car and ran. Cameron stayed quiet the whole time as the whole conversation went on. He knew if he said something else his son would snitch on him. He glared at Erik as he walked towards the courts with the boys.

“You done nigga?” Cam said annoyed.

Erik whipped a tear from his eye and took a breath. “Yeah I’m done. I aint know she was doin’ my boy like thaaat.” Cameron shook his head and started bouncing the basketball.

“Look CJ if i can teach you one good thing in this world it’s when you’re around the fellas you keep what’s said to yourself. Don’t go reporting shit to ya mama and what not. That’s guy code man. Trust me.” Cameron said shooting the ball into the hoop.

“Yeah….no matter how scared ya daddy is of a girl that’s 5'2.” Erik said laughing and grabbing the ball and bouncing it to Sage. Cameron shook his head.

Solana’s Pov

I’m so sick of this job. Well not necessarily, it is my dream job to be a fashion designer. Some of my female co-workers here are so jealous, like don’t get mad at me for doing what Jordan wants. He asks and I deliver.Here we are in another meeting so he can tell us what’s to come with the next client.

“Alright everyone great job pulling through with last week’s client Jynesse. A special thanks to Solana, she delivered the most outstanding design for Jyneese and as a plus the outfit was on the cover of Essence magazine. Keep up the great work.” Jordan said clapping as well as everyone else except Amber. This bitch is a fucking hater i swear. Amber’s been working for Jordan for about 5 years and she was his top designer. Well until i showed up, not to toot my own horn but beep beep. I’ve been here for the past 2 years now and clients have grabbed my designs back to back and now she’s mad. Amber has tried so hard to sabotage my designs but it turns around and bites her in the ass every time. One time i had to convince Jordan not to fire her stank ass but she doesn’t know it. She tries so hard to be in my position it’s exhausting. Like bitch get a life. And she better not think for one second that i didn’t catch her dusty ass making googly eyes with Erik’s dumb ass. If she keeps disrespecting me i might have to show her why i got this AK-47 tatted on my leg.

“Now for this week’s project our client Mrs. Keyshia Ka’oir wants a piece for her birthday party coming up in a few weeks. It seems that her and her Husband want to be matching somehow. She wants a dress that’s extra as possible in her words.Oh, and she wants it to be red all over.Rough sketches are due tomorrow and all projects are due next Friday so get to it everyone, she will be here to hand pick which style she wants so it better be extravagant.Good luck.” Jordan said

“Greaaatt, more stress.” I said mumbling as i stand up and started walking towards my office. As i was walking through the door i see her looking at me up and down from her door. Yes our offices are across from each other. A great fucking coincidence right? I turned around and faced her leaning against my door frame.

“Do you have problem? You’ve been looking at me all day with a stank face so what is your issue?” I said glaring back at her as i looked at her up and down.

Amber starts to smirk shake her head at me. “Nope. All i know is you better be prepared to lose your spot on top because once Keyshia looks at my design its game over for you baby girl. So, have fun while you can.”

“Girl bye, nobody is worried about your tired ass, old ass, styles. Amber you’ve put out the same style the past five assignments we’ve had its old sis. You want to impress somebody, impress yourself by trying new fabric or you know better yet try a career because this apparently isn’t it for you.” I said rolling my eyes and closing my door. I can’t believe that bitch really tired me. Just wait till I get my sketch ready, I born to do this.

~At the park~

Erik and Cameron were playing one on one while Sage and CJ were playing on the other side of the court. The kids got tired of just playing basketball so they wanted to do their own thing. Erik was whooping Cameron’s ass just like Terry said too.

“Where the fuck was you at last night? I called your ass to hit the strip club bruh. All the birds was there.” Cam said wiping the sweat off his forehead with his shirt.

“Man I was handlin’ business last night.” Erik said shooting the ball from the free throw line.

“What bitch was it this time?” Cameron said shaking his head and leaning on his knees. Erik chuckled bouncing the ball in between his legs.

“How you know I was with a bitch?”

“One you chuckling like you holding something, Two you never handle business without me being there or drop your location. So which one was it? Britney? La’toya? or Malina?” He said stealing the ball from Erik and going for a layup.

“I been stopped fucking with La’toya crazy ass. Remember i told you i caught that bitch puttin’ my sperm in a syringe?”

Cameron started laughing. “Hell yeah I remember that shit, that bitch was in love witchu! ’Erik gon’ be my baby’s father!’ It took me and the homies to pry that bitch off your ass.”

“Man, after that shit I was like nah i’m good shorty. But Malina.” Erik said biting his lip thinking about this morning.

“I had to put that bitch out on the curb though. She wouldn’t get out my bed and I had to take Lana to work.I wasn’t about to let this bitch sleep in my room while i was gone. Then fuck around and come back all my drawers cleaned out.” He said getting in his guard stance in front of Cameron.

“Wait, wait,wait y'all fucked this morning? Like right before you took Lana to work.You had to let the bitch spend the night too? Cuz that’s fucked up.You a dog bruh.” Cameron said laughing and pulling up to make a shot. Erik blocked the shot and switches spots.

“Man I was too drunk to take her back to her crib, I had the Henny in my system when i hit her. I told her to meet me at the spot right? She hop out the uber with this short ass dress on Cam like if the bitch bent over you could see the pussy lips wink at you bruh. I was like damn so we kickin’ it ,choppin’ it up then next thing I know she riding me on the hood of the car in the parking lot of McDonald’s. This was at like 3 in the morning too, we was up the street from my crib so i said fuck it slide through. Woke up and got in the guts again then Lana called.Kicked that bitch to the curb literally.” He said laughing as he shot a three. Erik looked back on the other side of the court to make sure Sage was okay.

Cam stood there with his mouth wide open. “Damn that bitch a freak. In the parking lot?!? Of McDonald’s?!?! Shitttt you should’ve called a nigga. We could’ve tag teamed that hoe.”

“Nigga please, Terry crazy ass aint finna’ air the clip out on me because you wanted to fuck another bitch. TJ got eyes everywhere on you. Every bitch in Inglewood know you her nigga.They aint finna’ try her or Lana.” Erik said shaking his head and taking his shirt off.

“I swear her crazy ass got a tracking device on my dick. I go into the bathroom she all like ‘Where you takin’ my dick?’ I say I’m going’ to the store she say ‘That bitch bet not be at the store.’ Next thing i know i get to the store she there waitin’ for a nigga. ‘I was just makin sure you came to the same store you always do.’” Like damn I can’t go nowhere without her being there.” Cameron said shaking his head. Erik looked behind Cameron and seen Terry’s car parked in the lot with her looking out the window at them.

“Speak of the devil, she shall appear.” He said nodding his head in the direction. Cameron raised his eyebrow with  confused look on his face.

“Cuz what you talkin’ bout?” He said turning around. “Gotdamn it ! See the shit I mean she crazy.I been gave yo crazy ass my location Terry!”Cameron said walking towards her car. Erik laughed shaking his head at them.

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[missjackil]

My 14x17 Opinion

Game Night

This was the first new episode since “The Announcement” and I have to say I was putting off writing it. I usually post these the day after, but I procrastinated so it’s a bit late. So forgive my butt-hurt tardiness and let's have at it.

I enjoyed this episode, though it wasn't without some issues. I must say that I was pleased that it wasn't as Sam-lite as I thought it would be from the promo pics, trailer, and knowing Jared didn't work a lot that week, I will always want for more Sam in an episode, but all his parts were necessary and high quality in this one, so I'm not angry at all. 

We start the episode with Donatello making cookies, singing Raindrops are Fallin’ on my Head, which made me smile. It made me think of Butch Cassiday and The Sundance Kid and I love that movie, and if J2 ever want to play the leads in a remake, I would be willing to pay for it myself! 

Donny gets interrupted by the door, and we know this is a problem because its the first 5 minutes of SPN, let's be honest. As soon as I see the bad guy’s wedding ring, I think “Shit... here comes Nick”. I thought he was gonna kill him and I'm glad he didn't. I like Donny, he looks like my dad. 😊

Back at the Bunker, the fam is getting ready for “Winchester Game Night” and Dean is playing Mouse Trap, and having no luck getting it to work. I had that game as a kid too and was never able to get it to work either, but it was fun putting it together! I did think it was a little sad but fitting, that Dean would have played that game as a 4 yr old, but leave it to John and Mary to give Dean a game made for older kids, that never worked out the way it was supposed to and had too many small parts he could choke on. (the irony is not lost on me)

Mary and Jack are in the kitchen. I could literally almost smell the Jiffy Pop popcorn. A Saturday night staple at my house growing up (any of you out there ever taste that greasy salt left on the sides of the foil pan? Good stuff!) and Mary starts in with the questions for Jack. I got a kick out of him telling her its annoying, and her face after. It’s ok Mary, he’s fine, he’s just a teenager now. Something I guess she never got to experience from the adult side. 

Sam is out getting pizza, and all the times they’ve had pizza, I never really saw what Sam likes on his. Apparently both he and Dean like lots of pepperoni. Good choice boys! The joy is short-lived (of course) by Donatello’s call, and Dean and Mary go off to help. I loved Sam sitting there researching. I have always loved his look of interest and concentration during these times. Smart!Sam moment #1 he figures out the language is ancient Hebrew, #2 he has the moment of realization that he knows it’s from the Bible, and knows what chapter and verse. (demerits for the writers though for not knowing Peter is in the New Testament and is in Ancient Greek, not Hebrew, but kudos for Sam/Jared for at least knowing the book is located near the back of The Bible)

Mom and Dean in the car. Now we have the talk about how wrong she knows she’s been but how appreciative she is to have this time with him and Sam. Uhoh... sounds like lines typically given to a character who is soon to be killed off? Hmmm we’ll see. Soon they arrive at Donny’s to find Nick. He says he's poisoned Donny and to save him, they have to help him. He wants to talk. 

Back at the bunker, violent rage!Sam awaits!! GOD that gave me tingles in the best way! I loved Dean leading Nick down the hall in cuffs, in slow motion as if leading him to his execution, and Sam standing there with his chest puffed out like a friggin’ bulldozer, and the snarl and slam attack against the wall!! (hand me that towel, please??) Dean backs Sam off, lots of brother touching going on, but we need intel, we can't kill him yet. 

Now Sam is in self-loathing mode.... he thinks everything is his fault. So many people dying because of him. This is gonna be a big issue soon, I promise. Mom talks Sam off the self-deprecating ledge and tells him he gave Nick another chance because he’s a good man and that's why she’s so proud of him. Sam softens up into the sweetest “aww shucks ma” smile and I want to hug him💕 also, still lines are being spoken by mom that are synonymous with being killed off.

Now, I procrastinated talking about Cas and Anael because the whole thing was boring. I'm not a wife hater but at least make her necessary if you’re going to cast her. I was ok about her role as Sister Jo for Devil’s Bargain but she hasn't been necessary since. Cas wasn't even necessary in this episode. We knew he was hiding the fact that Jack killed the snake, and there are probably 1000 other ways they could have reminded us that the Samulet is still around and maybe they can use it, than for him to find a similar one in the thrift shop or whatever that place was. I dug Methuzula though, he was the oldest dude in the Bible. He wasn’t an angel, for any of you worried about him liking lasagna or why he couldn't just smite Cas... its because he's HUMAN just extremely old. 

On to more interesting things. 

Nick wants to talk to Jack. I was not pleased with Nick referring to Jack as his son. Im not 100% convinced that the writer (and all involved really) remembered that Jack isnt Nick’s son, but added that as a note of empathy Nick has for Lucifer, you’d THINK someone, particularly Jack would say “Im not your son” ?? but anyway, he gives intel to Jack and also gets his blood (dun dun dunnnn) 

Sam is again a smarty pants and knows the antidote for Thalium is Prussian Blue (makes note) and figures he can hack the live feed (brains are so sexy) I also love that Sam’s word is the go word. So many more decisions are made because Sam thinks its the best option than he's ever given for in the fandom. So Sam and Dean take Nick with them to find Donny. 

I really love the broments in this part. Dean tells Nick if he tries anything funny, Sam will shoot him. “And if anything happens to me....” “Sam will shoot me”  “To start!” says Sam... because if he hurts Dean, Sam isnt letting him off that easy. But in true SPN form, as soon as Sam and Dean are separated, shit goes south.

Mom calls Sam and lets him know Donny was shot up with Angel grace, as Jack figured out, Nick was playing them. Now the fight between Sam and Nick ensues! Nick tells Sam why he used Donatello, which was to bring Lucifer back, “You can't, he’s dead he’s in the Empty” Sam says but this show’s self-awareness gets me sometimes lol Nick’s like “Cmon Sam you know no one stays dead anymore” and Sam starts kicking his ass. 

Now, I have already seen a million of you whine and complain that Sam didn’t kill Nick. It’s almost as though some of you have never met Sam Winchester. Of course Sam could have killed Nick, and most of us wish he did, but Sam has stopped himself from killing humans before. He stopped himself with Jake in AHBL and also with Toni in 12x01. Unfortunately it always bites him in the ass. Could it be that Sam thinks if he can kill a human with his bare hands that he’s a monster? This isn’t bad writing folks, this is Sam’s character. 

Nick takes advantage of Sam’s hesitation and starts nailing him with a rock. Spewing crap about Sam being Lucifer’s Perfect vessel and such.... this can only mean that issue will be coming up soon! Sam gets in the car and starts laying on the horn for Dean, calling out to him... Dean hears Sam is in trouble, enough playing around here time to kill some demons. 

When he gets to Sam. he sees he’s badly injured. Sam can hardly hold on to consciousness, protective!dean kicks in! Apply preasure to the blled, call 911, call mom. Now check for brain damage and play a counting game with Sam This hurt my feels so much, it made it feel so much more serious than all the other head injuries he’s sustained. Dean and his caring big brother smile and light hearted speech so Sam doesnt panic just kills me in the best way!! Sam tries to count with him a little and breaks into “You always put me first... your whole life” and manages to muster a little smile. Dean knows Sam believes he’s checking out, and you see the fear all over Dean’s face as Sam fades away. (OMG these 2!! Every freakin time!!)

Meanwhile, Mary and Jack found Nick and he has summoned Lucifer and just about to take him in again (Lucifer looked pretty cool,,, gotta say) and Jack zaps Lucifer back into the rift (no not forever guys... cmon) and starts torturing Nick. Mary kinda flips out telling Jack to stop. He’s contorting his hand, burning him from the inside out... not simply killijng him. Mary is full on worried now. Jack stops and Nick is laying on the floor. Mary is in shock and tells Jack to go help Sam, He heals him and Dean cant even hide his relief as he turns away to catch his breath. 

Now Jack returns to Mary who is more than worried about how Jack was torturing Nick. We know the Winchesters dont mind killing, but draw the line at torture. However, Mary stupidly poked the bear. She could have just kept herself and Jack calm and talked to the boys later, but she poked and poked till Jack freaked out. Though I am wondering if Jack was also hearing Lucifer when he was shouting “Leave me alone!!” But in any regard, he looked at Mary and something happened. Fade to black. 

Aside from the Cas/Anael part, I really enjoyed this episode. A few issues yes, but it hit most of the marks needed for me to enjoy an episode. Ive already rewatched it twice and will again and again. 

On a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, I give this a strong 7.5 without the Cas/Anael bit it would have been an easy 8.

[dovechim]

Omg Addie, here's a good crack idea: the entire condom factory fails. LOL

alright so when i read this i immediately thought of willy wonka’s chocolate factory except its a condom factory

the year is 3087. all the conglomerates of the entire world have merged into a single monopoly. people all get their things from one factory alone, and that means bread from a bread factory, mayonnaise from a mayo factory, and condoms from a condom factory. gone are the days of departmental stores or convenience stores, this is how it is now.

“baby, we’re getting low on condoms, could you go get some today?” jimin says. but except you have just spent your last dime on that jar of mayo, which, to be quite honest, seems pretty unnecessary because jimin can provide a way better alternative. but not wanting to tell ur boyfriend about your questionable decision making skills, you decide to dig out some of your spare change from your wallet and make your way to the condom factory. unless you want to be popping out babies, that is.

“ohohoho, welcome, another sperm hater!” you’re welcomed by a security guard as you step past the gates. “here for another pack? bring her in, boys.”

except today, the factory is unusually silent. there are no machines whirring away, everything resembles a ghost town as you cautiously stroll past the rows and rows of complicated looking equipment. 

and then suddenly, a man dressed in baggy grey shorts, expensive looking trainers and with a tiny little acorn bag fastened to his hip jumps out of nowhere. “hello there, my child! my name is jung hoseok, and i am the owner of this condom factory! what can i do for you today?”

too distracted by the sight of that ridiculous looking acorn bag at his hip, you can only stutter out a response. “i-i’m here for some condoms, sir.”

but his bright and cheery disposition only dims. “well, i dont know how to tell you this, but the entire factory is broken beyond repair. the whole world is fucking without condoms now.”

you are visibly sweating. the thought of the entire world not having any condoms sends you into a panic, and you glance around the rows of machinery, as if there might be any spare, unfinished condoms lying around that you can swipe. at this rate, you’ll fuck jimin with a sandwich bag if you have to. 

“but please sir! i really need those condoms! my boyfriend and i really want to fuck, but we don’t want any nasty little brats running around!! please, i’ll do anything.”

mr jung hoseok scratches his chin thoughtfully. “anything, hmm?”

“anything!”

“well, then, i can think of something,” mr jung hoseok grins. “come on out, boys!”

at his cue, five other boys dressed in factory overalls appear from nowhere.

“see, these are my prized workers, i call them my bangtan boys, and they have gone on a strike because they haven’t gotten laid in a very long while. if you can do me the pleasure of fucking them one by one- or at the same time, whatever floats your boat- im sure they would be more than happy to get back to work!”

mr jung’s workers look ravenous. they are eyeing you from head to toe like you are a tasty meal. one of them, a doe eyed boy who looks permanently shocked, even has the gall to start touching himself through his clothes. 

“but how will i fuck them without a condom, mr factory owner sir?” you cry out in distress. 

“well,” hoseok says as he shrugs indifferently. “that’s not my problem is it? i guess you’ll just have to take a risk with mother nature. boys, she’s all yours.”

you realise you have no choice. besides, these five boys aren’t bad looking in the least, and you would be lucky to get that much dick in a single afternoon. jimin would surely understand, right? you start to take off your own clothes, and the boys descend on your like a pack of hungry hyenas.

when you’re done with all five of them- geez that doe eyed boy really has a tiny little pecker, even smaller than jimin’s and thats saying something, and those three surnamed kim nearly tore you in half- hoseok claps his hands with delight. 

“oh, well done, my child,” he says even as you struggle to your feet, cum leaking from your pussy and covering just about every square inch of your body. “you look beautiful.”

“can i have my condoms now? my boyfriend is waiting at home.”

hoseok grins as he chuckles at your naivety. “not so fast, little girl. you have one more dick to ride. get over here.”

as you make your way over to hop on his dick, hoseok stops you with a little gasp. “oh looks like i do have a condom stashed away in here after all! my little bag came in handy! for you at least!”

he rummages in his ugly little acorn bag and brandishes a single condom, which is slides onto his slim jim. 

“after this, i dont think your boyfriend would want that pussy of yours anymore,” hoseok wrinkles his nose as he slides in.

“oh, on the contrary. he loves sloppy seconds,” you say as you begin to ride him. 

apparently, hoseok hasn’t been laid for a while either, because he cums in seconds. he hands you a pack of condoms from seemingly nowhere, waving you off as you limp to the exit. 

“have fun with your boyfriend! oh, and you’re welcome for the bun that’s probably in your oven right about now! i heard that jimin has weak sperm, so you probably didn’t need a condom in the first place.”

as you limp out of the condom factory, you consider the pack of condoms in your hands, tossing it aside as you make your way back home. hoseok is right. what could one more weak spermed load hurt, anyway?

[tenecity]

from haters to lovers; zhu zhengting

from haters to lovers—a series where nine percent and you have the cliche, typical love story

warning: mentions of gender discrimnation

sosososososososo after much procrastination, crying and cracking my head, i finally got someth to possibly hate abt zzt hell yes god

also! taking into consideration tt china is still a v much conservative society, gender discrimnation is everywhere and rlly, as of yet, cant b helped

so which is why, imagine ure a chinese woman you found it weird, almost distasteful that a boy would be in yr dance class

i mean, guys are suppose to be strong people, doing more physical stuff like wushu or smth, and then there’s this boy here, doing pointe and perfect turns

“zhu zhengting is here!!!! oml doesn’t he look like a fairy?” your best friend tugs your sleeve as she discreetly point to the said boy. you roll your eyes. youre tired of this whole rave about him. literally, the entire class fangirls abt him; and apparently, it is not just for his looks, for also for his dance

spsjssjnsnsbs hE IS SO ELEGANT

you wld nvr admit it, but ok i guess ure borderline jealous.

i mean, his lines r clean, force controlled in his movements, perfect timing for rushed movements and then he slows down with such grace that you will never have 

but its still irks you, that a boy should dance so softly and gracefully. doesn’t seem to sit well with your traditional thinking 

so anyway, sidenote! you suck at turns wowww so coincidental

and every lesson, you usually would stay back just to practice it and you always end up with bruises and what nots as you fall repeatedly, no one there to catch you when you fall 

somehow, zhengting stays back today as well, rehearsing his main role in the upcoming performance, “swan lake” 

and you can’t keep your eyes off his figure 

it is mesmerising, how he can convey emotions, feelings, an entire story, through mere movements of the arms and legs. you observe how his every move is calculated, strength justttt the right amount that it looks elegant instead of overly powerful. 

and then you stare at the mirror and you sigh. probably why you only got a minor role in the performance. 

shaking your head, trying to push all those nonsensical thoughts out of your brain, you continue trying to turn, but you just can’t find the balance

yixing: balance baLanCe bALANCE

once again, your arms aren’t fully stretched out and it creates an imbalance, causing you to once again, fall backwards, out of turn 

you shut your eyes, bracing yourself for the impact

but it doesn’t come 

surprise surprise

eyelids fluttering open slowly, you realise just how close your are to zhengting, his ragged breath from his exhausting rehearsal fan across your face, inevitably making them the colour of cherries.

“you ok?” he softly asks, as he lowers you down.

“...yea im fine.” you mumble, head bowed.

“....do you need help with the turns?” 

“....”

“you know, you’re almost there. its just the part at the 180 degree mark, where you have to pull in your hands. your arms don’t always cross, or are pulled in too fast, which breaks your flow and speed and causes you to fall out of turn.” 

how does he know? bc he has been looking at you, dumbass

also i hve no idea how accurate this is i suck at body anatomy

you nod slowly. he makes sense. and its true, you always fall when you are just about to spin to the opposite side.

getting up, your arms are poised, ready to try again. 

andddd they become frigid as hands land on your middle, firm and supportive.

“look, its not even straight here. you need it to be 90 degrees here, before you can even start turning.” he adjusts you accordingly.

“im going to spin you slowly, and we try to perfect each section, ok?” 

he spins you slowly, your arms closing in in slow motion. he corrects you at certain parts, one hand leaving your waist as he repositions yr arm.

and now, ure facing him, head bowed as a flush colours your cheeks when u realise how close the two of u r. a slight movement will just allow yr lips to brush against his.

but of course his hand is steady as hell and he just turns you slowly and you face the other direction

which, makes ur stomach churn and disappointment flows thru u????

so skipskip next scene

its after class and ure packing up when u hear some commotion at the corridor

n u follow ur busybody classmates

u can barely see who is shouting bc u a cute shortie :)

but u recognise the voice

"NO i'm staying dad. this is what i want to do."

"No, no, no. teacher, im v sorry, but i will like to pull my son out of this dance class now. i will pay the rest of the fees, but he will not be performing that stupid recital-” 

“i am performing, dad.” the voice is calm and collected and you try to tiptoe, just barely catching sight of the brown locks

“no u r not. zhu zhengting, u r a boy, u cannot do this kind of girly things! it makes u look v 娘* do you know that? a disgrace, an utter disgrace!”

the voice rings as everyone falls silent, heads turning towards zhengting, waiting for his response to the harsh comment. 

“i will prove to you that there is nothing to be ashamed of.” he quietly says, bowing and turning his heel, head held high, with no sign of regret or disappointment 

as you watch the figure go, everything falls together like pieces of a puzzle

why he works so hard 

why when it already seems perfect enuf, he still practices, saying there is still space for improvement 

why he was so desperate to get the main role 

he wanted to b in the spotlight and give a flawless performance bc he wanted to prove to his father, that boys dont have to b restrained to a singular activity and stereotype. they can do whatever they want, so long as they like it 

guilt washes over u as u watch his father storm after his son, realising that this man is a reflection of you

new found respect is the word u will use on zhengting. 

everyone applauds him. an art form shld never be restricted to a gender.

ur heart opens up to him more, and admiration for him blooms as u watch him place high expectations on himself, doing a particular move over and over again, even tho in your eyes, it alr seems perfect enuf

just like how he is to you; perfect and flawless

its addicting to watch him. his pale arms, his clean movements, his strong legs, his silky brown locks, the way his eyes sparkle when he talks about dance, the way the edges crinkle when he laughs, the way he is so bubbly about everything.

and he starts to take notice of you too, helping you to readjust properly, telling you tricks and tips on how to keep perfect balance, how to put the correct about of strength into a movement. 

for the next few weeks, you end up gg hme later than usual, staying bck with more than an hour just to spend time with him, and not gg to lie, you r falling for him 

but... you kinda don’t rlly knw i mean 

he’s nice to everyone

what makes you so special?

anywayyyyyyy

FINALLY RECITAL DAY WOOHOO

everyone’s pretty hyped about it

but u knw the main dancers will be extremely nervous and u decide to go find zhengting in his dressing room, just to give him assurance, if he needs any.

“zhengting?”

“hmmm?” he says (???) as he turns around and oMLORD JESUS CHRIST IS HE A BEAUT

the eyeshadow makes him look sultry, the foundation emphasising how his skin is flawless and hydrated, his eyebrows strong and dark, a true prince indeed

he snaps his fingers, pulling u out of yr trance. “did you want to say anything?” u hear a hint of hope and u almost smirk 

“uh...you look good? and good luck.” you mumble, tripping over your words, unused to a god-like creature looking at u with such intensity in his dark eyes

“what did you say?” he teases, cheekiness flowing through his words

“i said,” you clear your throat. “you look good and good luck for your performance

how you wish to wipe that smirk off that face, if not for the fact that u secretly find it EXTREMELY HOT and your cheeks are flaring red at the sight of it.

“if u want to wish me good luck,” he leans forward. flirtatious. “how about a kiss on the cheek?” 

you roll your eyes and try to push him away but he is quick to grab your hands and stop them midway, intertwining your cold, clammy ones with his own.

“please?” 

“fine,” you try to sound nonchalant but the nervousness is so evident that u see the smirk creeping up his face again.

lips barely brush over the smooth skin and you pull away, blood surging upwards into the blood vessels of your face.

“bye,” you want nothing more than to dig a hole and hide your burning face 

“see you afterwards?” 

but u’ve already rushed out and he chuckles to himself, warmth oozing thru his being, and his cheeks flush as he thinks about the kiss you give him. 

he will definitely have to find you later to give you a proper one ;)

you guys wld b cute buBS UWU

my endings suck dbhasdjbfhjdbkjf

[lizziebennet]

i want like your complete thoughts on snape aurora lmao

HONEYYOUVEGOTABIGSTORMCOMING.GIF

so id just like to say that when i read the harry potter books first time and the third time and the sixth time  i didn’t hate snape. i never loved him, but i thought he was a super interesting character bc he was like a triple agent and he made for some rly great story. like the #drama of snape killing dumbledore was an Iconic Event in book history. but it was after book 7 came out and i learned that people genuinely liked snape?? like sympathized with him and stuff????? then i started to HATE him because people’s reactions to him after deathly hallows were… ridiculous. 

bc lemme tell u kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! re reading the series with the knowledge of snapes backstory and everything from the prince’s tale doesn’t explain/excuse like. any of snape’s actions in most of the books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

its just sooooo frustrating to me bc harry potter is a series about shades of grey. it’s not tolkien where the Bad Guy™ is the embodiment of Pure Evil and the other side is Pure Good. i mean here it is in plain text in ootp: 

“We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

so like you have the Spectrum of Darkness with voldemort (p much the #1 spot on that scale), umbridge (also p high up there), fudge (who’s main sin is willful ignorance), and yeah i think even dumbledore would have a place on that scale. what im getting at is this: even though snape indisputably does some good things he can still be a totally shitty person. like, hes not voldemort but that doesnt mean hes a saint either. like the quote said,  maybe hes not Evil To The Core inside but he chose to act like a dick all of the time so that’s what i think he is. a dick. because even if he had this great love for lily inside him the whole time, i can only judge him on his actions. and his actions show that hes THE FUCKING WORST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

its just. inconceivable to me how you can justify snape’s actions like. first of all he willingly joins a genocidal terrorist organization so. theres THAT LITTLE FACT THAT IS DIFFICULT TO OVERLOOK. 

and i’ve read a lot of people “””justify””” that with two things. first is snape’s childhood/him growing up in a slytherin environment. like, almost saying ‘poor baby didnt know any better :((’ which is just like. completely ridiculous. for starters im not sure that anti-muggle ideology was forced on snape as a child. his father was a muggle, and although it’s made clear in the books that snape has a horrible relationship with both his parents, it doesnt really make sense for his mother to preach pureblood/wizard superiority to him if she herself married a muggle man. furthermore, snape grew up in a muggle neighborhood. as a child, he must have interacted with them with some frequency. and yet when he talks to lily as a child he is already sooooo dismissive of petunia because of her lack of magic which is like. pretty sociopathic if you ask me. 

and like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he had lily!!!!!! as a friend!!!!!!!!!! for over five years!!!!!!!! he couldve learned from lily like. examples of love and friendship and equality!!!! he apparently LOVED lily!!!!!!!!! AND HE STILL DECIDES TO JOIN A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION WHOSE GOAL IS TO WIPE OUT HER KIND????? W H Y??

and it’s not like he’s draco whose parents were death eaters and voldemort was like “u must become a death eater or ur whole family will be murdered” (not like that i like draco lol). like if anything snape’s half blood status would be a deterrent to joining the death eaters. remember: his mother married a muggle. so he absolutely had a choice and CHOSE to join voldemort. 

the second thing ive often heard people say is “but he changed his mind!!!” referring to when snape becomes a double agent for dumbledore. but like… is that even true????? did voldemort coming after lily make snape have an epiphany like “hold up… maybe … muggleborns dont.. deserve to die?? for being born???” i would like to point out that we NEVER get that confession from snape. EVER. we never hear him say like “i am with the order of the phoenix because i disagree fundamentally with voldemort’s anti-muggle ideology.” 

the ONLY reason snape goes to dumbledore and becomes a double agent is because of his “””love”””” for lily. the only reason he stays a part of the order is to protect harry and maybe like get revenge on voldemort for killing lily. BUT HE COULDVE BEEN A MUGGLE HATER THE WHOLE TIME!!! LIKE FOR THE WHOLE BOOK SERIES!!!!!!!!!!! 

and like what about befoRE snape turned on voldemort. he was part of the death eaters for YEARS. and he was considered part of voldemorts inner circle, his most trusted death eaters and like. you dont get into that circle by doing nothing. so i have to assume that snape did some fucked up shit! like killing muggles and muggleborns and shit! like! reminder that he WILLINGLY joined this organization! 

like he truly did not give a shit about anyone lol. like when he comes to dumbledore to plead with him to save lily and dumbledore is like “what about her baby and her husband do u care about their lives at all” and snape straight up does not give a SHIT about harry and james. snape is totally fine with a BABY dying. 

lemme say that a little louder for the people in the back: SEVERUS SNAPE IS TOTALLY AND 100% OKAY WITH AN INNOCENT BABY BEING SLAUGHTERED. 

and this isnt just any baby. it’s lily’s baby. and if snape knew lily AT ALL (lily who was “uncommonly kind”) he would know that lily would love her child more than anything and prioritize her child’s life above her own. but snape is just like “i dont care if her child and husband are murdered as long as shes fine lol” like…. okay????????? lily would literally hate him if he did manage to save her instead of harry lol. 

its just….. insane that he only gives a shit when voldemort comes after someone he personally cares about. like. he was fine with anyone else dying! thats cool that families are getting slaughtered no biggie! he only cared when it personally affected him which is…. disgusting. like hes morally BAD. 

like contrast that to regulus who joined the death eaters around the same age as snape because of familial pressure but then when he got in and like saw what was going on and what they were doing he was like “this is fucked up i cant do this” and sabotaged voldemort. snape had no such conscience lol. 

and lets say youre willing to overlook all of that (which, if thats the case… um…. how…) but for arguments sake lets say you are. /why/ is snape so mean to harry???????????????? because he looks like james???? thats a reason i gUess but not an excuse like. he bullies a child for YEARS because harry looks like his teenage rival?? oh my goD snape is such a huge baby i cant even desCRIBE. 

and /why/ is he so mean to NEVILLE???? WHAT DID NEVILLE EVER DO TO HIM?? ? ? hes neville’s /worst fear/ !!!!!!!!!!!!! and hes HORRIBLE to hermione like HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its completely inexcusable…. he gets lupin FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LUPIN WHO STRUGGLES TO HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR FOOD BECAUSE HES A WEREWOLF OH MY GOD I HATE SNAPE SO MUCH. I HATE HIM. I HAAAATEEEE HIM.

tl;dr: snape is a giant man baby who joined a genocidal terrorist organization of his own volition and then only switched sides when it personally affected him and then even when he was “”good””” he continued to act like a total asshole.  

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching the JIBcon 2017 Jensen & Misha panel

um............this is........ kind of gay

under the cut: my casual thoughts on Cockles, Jensen in heat, a lil bit of Destiel, and a small dose of toxic masculinity because man it just keeps coming back to that

08:00pm

PART 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esVT4rZ1F0M&ab_channel=thiniassk

i’m not fucking prepared honestly oh god

-

08:12pm

i have petted my cat diezel and i am slightly more prepared

-

08:14

it STARTS with them singing to each other?!?!?! 

jensen gets so much of his energy from misha he can’t address a crowd without first staring deeply into misha’s eyes??? IS THIS THEM SOULBONDING BEFOREHAND SO THEY MAKE A BETTER TEAM

miSHA TURNS AWAY IT’S JUST JENSEN SERENADING MISH OH GOD

-

jensen: *leans in for no reason*

-

08:17

HE DOES SO MUCH OPEN-HANDED REACHING 

-

08:18

j: “the hairs on my arms are standing up”

m: “he was just showing me his freckles”

j: “who don’t love freckles *winky face* know what i’m saying”

m: “you wanna hear something weird”

J: “SHUT UP”

MISHA WAS GONNA SAY FRECKLES ARE ANGEL KISSES AND JENSEN VETOED IT

THIS IS THE ONLY OPTION

-

08:20

YES MISHA putting a chair backwards stops you worrying about crotch-staring

j: “oh no, i enjoy showing my crotch the entire time”

m: “i know”

j: “i don’t have to hide it”

...........................surely this is illegal

-

08:2

j: “let’s see how deep it goes”

(talking about the crowd size?)

m: “by which she means it’s an innie”

(talking about navels maybe?? not sure how we got here?)

(OR DICK FORESKIN WHO KNOWS)

JENSEN YOUR FACE

WHAT

-

08:25

? i think jensen moved to cover his crotch jokingly aND MISHA REACHES IN TO UN-COVER HIS CROTCH

;A;

-

08:28

j: *faces misha and spreads his legs* “here’s the thing. pick a leg”

WAT THE FIDSAHFSF I???

-

08:29

jensen wants misha to choose between his bowlegs??? OH NO

I JUST GOT IT

HE STANDS UP TO DO THE DICK-ADJUSTMENT DANCE

RIGHT NEXT TO MISHA

“PICK A LEG” IS ABOUT WHICH LEG HIS DICK SITS AGAINST

why the fuck does he want MISHA to choose what the fuck this is so fucking gay what the fuck

misha claims out loud he’s uncomfortable but frankly he doesn’t look that uncomfortable

-

08:32

jesus christ jensen is flat-out turning everything into flirtation

j: “you have big dolls?”

(regarding the mini-dads misha has in his house)

JENSEN HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT THIS GUY TO FUCK YOU

WOW

-

08:34

such blush

...and jensen starts hitting himself in the head as self-chastisement for flirting????????????????????????????????????????????????

-

08:36

https://youtu.be/esVT4rZ1F0M?t=4m8s

fig 1: jensen believably pretending he doesn’t know what “firework[s]” by katy perry is

fig 2: telling the truth “of course i know what ‘firework’ is, i have a 4 year old daughter” (correcting misha’s addition of the ‘s’ at the end, i must note) “i DANCE to firework”

....but like.......jensen’s process of ”i don’t know what this potentially emasculating thing is at all”.... “did i mention this thing is close to my heart and know it intimately”

does that sound like “talk about cutting the fat”/”who’s cas?”/”misha who?” to anyone else? hurr

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT DEAN DOES. BLAH BLAH BLAH THEY’RE DIFFERENT PEOPLE But tHEY DO THE SAME SHIT WHEN IT COMES TO ~EMASCULATING~ THINGS

granted jensen does it easier and more jokingly than dean does, but he STILL DOES IT

(also? jensen asked misha what’s on west’s playlist and requested he be honest, probably knowing full-well what’s on there (and there’s something dodgy there to be honest about). jensen pretends he doesn’t know the song, misha reaches in to touch him and says “you would be off on a lot of [these songs]-- AND THAT’S WHEN JENSEN REVEALS THE TRUTH TO PROVE HE’S NOT ALL COUNTRY FOLK SINGER and then blames his knowledge of popular songs on his daughter rather than the fact it’s impossible to go through modern life without having heard that song)

(he serenades misha with a few lines before mocking the song)

(i wonder if he’s ever sung it to misha in private)

-

08:50

jensen: *finger over his lips as misha’s talking about his kids singing carry on wayward son in the car* i.e. ~don’t say the thing~

j: “is what you told me earlier public knowledge? ‘cause that’s kind of a nice segue”

it’s nice that he asks

m: *high pitched voice* whyyy did i tell him

SO HE CAN RELAY YOUR CUTE STORIES TO US WITH HIS PRETTY POUTY BLABBERMOUTH, THAT’S WHY

-

j: *leans in to whisper and ask about the story he wants to tell*

m: NO NO ON ON O

wow that’s gotta be a damning story holy shit

-

m: “i am actually having palpitations right now”

I REALLY WANT TO KNOWWWWW AAAH

-

08:56

j: “real men have twins”

....wtf

j: *looking apologetically at misha* “aaah it’s just a shirt somebody sent me, it was pretty cool”

...........wtf even more because why are you apologising to misha wtf

(after the panel i came back and read this and I JUST GOT IT. i thought “have twins” meant the man in question has a human duplicate sibling. but it actually means the man in question has two offspring who are born at the same time. welp.)

-

08:58

bless daniella for getting these boys so fucking drunk

drunk!jensen is kind of.... look i dont wanna say it as a slur but also i do really wanna say it.... he’s kind of a slut?

god i love how much he’s enjoying himself aaah

-

09:00pm

here we have jensen laughing way too hard at misha’s “i am not a spy... which is exactly what spies say” accent

j: “that one got me. i dunno why”

BECAUSE YOU’RE HOPELESSLY IN LOVE AND ALSO DRUNK

-

09:03

rip fluffy unicorn

jensen for someone with a 4 year old daughter you very quickly, very unnecessarily, AND VERY VIOLENTLY reject soft fluffy cute things your daughter would like

someone tell me again how he’s not fuelled at least 25% by toxic masculinity

-

j: *to the unicorn* “fuck you steven”

what did steven ever do to you

-

see this is where dean and jensen differ. dean would maybe sneer at the unicorn but he’d keep it if it was given to him by someone who cared about him (the in-show version of daniella?). he’d give it to a little kid. smile, play with it for 10 seconds if no-one else was watching. but jensen? THROWS IT AND INSULTS IT AND HATES IT FOR EXISTING

like dean and jensen are both haters of soft cute things (in front of people) but in totally different ways

jensen’s hatred seems kinda disingenuous to me ?

and waaaaay over the top, maybe just because there’s a crowd

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE

who exactly in that room would think any less of him if he said “aw cute” and hugged the thing on his lap, y’know? the room would be full of cheering. i feel like he’s only doing the act for self-comfort idk

it’s a soft unicorn .........i don’t get it

it’s a kicking machine with a death spike

IF IT WAS MADE OF PLASTIC AND LOOKED LIKE A ROBOT WOULD HE REACT THE SAME WAY THOUGH

(not that i dislike him for this, i’m just commenting on what i observe. he fascinates me. how did he get like this? WHAT COTTON CANDY PLUSHIE ABUSED HIM IN A PREVIOUS LIFE)

-

09:16

regarding superstitions: jensen steps right foot first onto airplanes, it hasn’t failed him yet. misha “always wears something akin to orange underwear”

OH NO HERE WE GO

-

j: “wait seriously?”

jensen looks fascinated...and awed

does he not know this stuff already? do they not talk about weird personal stuff outside of conventions?

-

okay well jensen is definitely adding “lucky orange underwear” to his list of things to imagine while he’s lying in bed with his hand between his legs

-

09:23

jensen’s lil finger wiggle to encourage misha to take his pants off?????

-

09:26

k but why did the convention crew turn the lights pink when jensen dropped his pants for misha

-

jensen to misha: “you can’t unsee that”

misha, kinda shaken: “no, i’m trying”

WHAT THE FUCK WAS JENSEN WEARING

AND WHY WAS IT SO BAD THAT WE COULDN’T SEE TOO

my current theory: a cock sock (maybe so jensen doesn’t get visible boners and/or panty lines??)

like this (WARNING NSFW NSFW)

-

j to misha: “rawr”

........................STOP

j: “you didn’t even get the full picture”

OKAY THAT’S IT IT’S GOTTA BE A COCK SOCK RIGHT ASDFSJF

-

m: “now would be a good time to take a 10 minute break”

AND WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE YOU AND JENSEN DO IN THAT TIME SIR

KINDLY DO SHARE

-

09:32

fan: “[jared] was kind of away with the fairies”

j: “no he’s been a fairy all day”

and THEN HE LOOKS AT MISHA EXPECTING A REACTION

is it just me or is jensen perfectly aware when his jokes are potentially homophobic and he’s checking with misha to see if it’s okay?? because i guess misha is the in-house feminist and if jensen goes a minute without misha’s approval he knows he needs to start sucking up and grovelling

-

J: “misha kept us out late” MORE RAWRING

like does he just wanna go behind the curtain and blow him ‘case i think we’d all wait patiently

(apparently completely unrelated, except by connection of “they wanna bang”) jensen: “by the way they go down to here” *points to mid-thigh*

someone mentioned maybe he was wearing a brand called ethika underwear on some post i made yesterday, i had a look at their website and it just seemed like perfectly normal boxers just with some funky prints

idk why that would make misha gawp so madly though, if it was just a loud print. or why that would mean the audience can’t see. it had to be something about the cut of them, too. (unless there was a tiger or something on them. i think i saw cat faces on the website)

also why is jensen so keen on telling misha about his underwear

...this is some exposure kink bullshit honestly

he’s not shy in the slightest, he’s getting off on making misha squirm

-

09:42

fan: “people who work together frequently develop habits/quirks”

j: “undoing your pants in front of each other”

fan: “probably not as many people do that”

j: “no”

they know how gay they are. they know. they know we think they’re fucking. they don’t care. they encourage it. why. jensen is absolutely revelling in this. he has not one single problem with people shipping him with misha

and i am dying because of it

-

09:45

fan: “i was wondering if there’s anything that doesn’t involve your pants--”

*jensen shakes his head*

fan: “--that you only do around each other”

jensen covers his mouth ~don’t say the thing~

oh no

(bless this question-asker)

-

09:49

AND HERE MISHA GOES CHANGING THE TONE BECAUSE JENSEN CAN ONLY THINK OF INAPPROPRIATE THINGS

-

PART 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0BnSu26yjE&ab_channel=thiniassk

-

09:53

m: “jensen came in, his eyes were red, i gave him a hug... jensen said - i’m quoting here - don’t do that”

(jensen smiles)

-

m: “we have these brief interstitials”

OOH interstitials. what a good word

-

09:55

when misha is talking, jensen listens. he LISTENS. he reacts in real time.

when jared talks, he zones out so much more often, or at least acts like he does (”i’m sorry, what were you saying? i zoned out”)

idk what to make of it

-

10:01

jensen’s lil speech <3

also bless daniella for always being the hero we need

-

10:05

jensen’s like ~welp i just spilled my heart out!! time for a circus act and some unicorn violence

-

10:06

DAT NECK SQUISH THO

-

i wasn’t expecting it to turn into this

... this panel has so much more jensen than misha. misha’s so quiet and still. and jensen’s so animated and talkative and aggressive and affectionate ??

is misha sick, tired, or upset?

-

10:10

https://youtu.be/T0BnSu26yjE?t=9m5s

fan asks what dean and cas would do together on a scooter in rome

m: “WHEN IN ROME”

and jensen looks at him like his gay innuendo alarm is flashing red

.....but like. they’re in rome. when in rome. gay things happen in rome. yes?

m: “NAUGHH NO you’re taking this the wrong way, i just mean ‘when in rome’ i just mean, show each other our underwear”

NOT ANY LESS GAY

AND NOW IT’S COCKLES AS WELL AS DESTIEL

++ misha referring to dean and castiel’s underwear as “our” underwear

m: “NOT ANYTHING WEIRD.”

what’s weird misha. what would you classify as weird. tell us.

*jensen’s dead eyed blue steel*

m: “YOU CAN’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT ANY MORE BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID” (misha’s voice breaks)

MISHA RAWRS

OH NO

-

.........................jensen sPREADS his legs

oh no

JENSEN COULD YOU LITERALLY ACT ANY MORE LIKE YOU’RE IN HEAT

FUCK

-

10:18

this person’s head is blocking my goddamn view

-

but 

jensen

what is the purpose of your face

-

10:20

https://youtu.be/T0BnSu26yjE?t=10m47s

fan: what would dean and cas do in rome, “a holiday” ?

m: *to jensen* “where do you GO with that?”

j *flirty*: “i know where i’m goin’~”

IN WHAT WAY EXACTLY COULD THIS BE INTERPRETED IN A NON-DESTIEL NON-GAY WAY

I‘M TRULY, TRULY STRUGGLING

look why don’t they just say “dean and cas would rent a hotel room and fuck the shit out of each other for five days straight” OH YEAH BECAUSE THAT’S TOO CLOSE TO THE TRUTH RIGHT

BUT THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE BASICALLY SAYING ANYWAY

they could’ve said “eat all the italian food” and “check out some of the monuments, dean and cas probably haven’t seen a lot of that stuff, cas knows all the history since he was alive in ancient times, and jensen would really appreciate a holiday spn episode in the future” BUT NO

THEY DELIBERATELY LEAVE IT OPEN AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE’S THINKING ABOUT ROMANTIC GAY SEX

forget the underwear exposure, i need all the gifs of this and all the meta

THIS IS WAY GAYER

i’mma puke rainbows brb

-

10:28

misha tries to save it with “the colosseum” BUT JENSEN’S FACE IS ALREADY LIKE “I SAID A GAY THING DIDN’T I”

misha: *rushed* “yes great question thank you”

THAT WAS IN NO WAY THEM AVOIDING “DEAN AND CAS WOULD MAKE LOVE”

NGHGHNH

m: “i don’t know how you’d answer that. i feel like there’s a lot of..”

daniella: *says something*

m: “go to the vatican?”

nope. hopeless. it’s too late, you can’t save this misha, it’s already gay.

-

fan: “can you explain why cas is driving the motorcycle and not dean?”

i love this person and their suspiciously gay questions

https://youtu.be/T0BnSu26yjE?t=11m49s

(can anyone figure out what jensen says when misha’s saying “dean actually drives the impala but...”)

-

PART 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr1d_7fG5zA&ab_channel=thiniassk

-

10:36

AW MAN EVERYONE RUSHED ON STAGE AND I WANTED TO HEAR JENSEN’S ANSWER TO WHATEVER THE QUESTION WAS!!!! he did comedy elbows followed by throat stroking and lots of thinking I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO EXPRESS

-

10:40

https://youtu.be/Xr1d_7fG5zA?t=3m7s

MISHA DUCKS AND HE PUTS HIS FINGERS IN HIS EARS

gimme the gifs friends i need them

-

10:42

THIS IS THE LAST JIBCON??????? NOOOOOOOOO WHAT

WAit wait---- wait............

DANIELLA says: “LOOKS LIKE THERE’S GOING TO BE ANOTHER ONE”

YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY MORE COCKLES

fsjdgfd that was scary

-

daniella’s crying

oh god i love her so much

YESSS SHE DESERVES TO HAVE HER NAME CHANTED BY A CROWD

-

10:46

did jensen and misha leave the stage? i’ve lost them

did they go off for a bathroom quickie or what

-

10:48

the endddddddd

ahh i’m exhausted now

in short: jensen’s head over heels in love, horny, in heat, and definitely spreads his legs in bed

misha? seems a lil upset. quiet. not as energetic as he usually is, which was surprising given jensen’s highkey flirtation. this panel was a lot of jensen and not a whole lot of misha, or misha+jensen as a pair. jensen was throwing a ton of sexual energy at misha and not getting much of anything back. 

idk how to feel about it, but a tiny bit of me is disappointed? and maybe a tad concerned. however, that said, they did make it fun and interesting AND SUPER FUCKING GAY

this panel reiterated to me that romantic destiel is a thing and they know it, and anything jensen says against that is just consciously-created bullshit

also? he lies really easily and really well. and it’s usually to protect some kind of face-value manly-man thing. even if he counteracts it within seconds.

but i find it very interesting how he looks to misha as his source of how much masculinity he’s required to protect. he asks misha “too much?” regarding the unicorn violence, and looks at him any time he made a gay or unfeminist joke that was a little risque (the “fairy” thing about jared, the “real men have twins” shirt)

it’s like misha’s his gatekeeper for gayness and softness, jensen clearly trusts him implicitly, and vice versa (although misha seems shaky on that, second-guessing why he told jensen a private story which jensen wanted to tell but misha was all NO NO NO OMFG)

but IMAGINE HOW MANY SECRETS THEY HAVE TOGETHER

OH NO

hopefully there’ll be some more cockles soon ...but at least we have hawaiicon to look forward to in november!! =u=

[groundramon]

Cartoon asks: ALL OF THEM

THANK YOU SO MUCH OMFG

also i totally didnt fill all these out in advance and twiddle my thumbs in anticipation, hoping someone would send me this ask, nope not at all                 

1. A cartoon you remember that nobody else does.Back at the Barnyard.  That fucking show…oh my god

2. A cartoon you like but nobody else seems to.Well technically I remember liking Back at the Barnyard but I haven’t watched that show since I was like 8 or 9 so idk if I’d like it now akjsfkfkgjh I kinda doubt it now because my bullshit-tolerance-meter for television has significantly shortened.  Uhhh the only other cartoons I can think of that I liked that don’t seem to be liked by a lot of people are like…the DreamWorks cartoons (when they were on Nickelodeon and CN that is, I don’t have Netflix rip) and the Lego cartoons (except Ninjago because apparently that has a fandom?? what??) like I thought they were okay at the time at least.  (Also I guess the HTTYD cartoon wasnt hated, because it was fucking HTTYD, but //shrug)

3. A cartoon you don’t like but everybody else seems to. ADVENTURE TIME and like everything on Cartoon Network except Steven Universe and We Bare Bears honestly.  Like Adventure Time isn’t my cup of tea but I’m like “alright, some of those plots actually seem kind of interesting, I guess I can see where people are coming from” but like… shit like Clarence and Uncle Grandpa??  I’m all for people having different opinions but I don’t know how you can even get past the art style, let alone the writing style and some of the voice acting ;-; you are a stronger person than I’ll ever be if you can get past that lmao

4. A cartoon you wish would be forgotten.Uhhh pretty much everything on Nickelodeon from 2010-2014 (besides the dreamworks cartoons basically) and the shit reboots that CN’s been pumping out (namely TTG and the PPG reboot, but the Ben 10 reboot looks REALLY lazy, so at least it doesn’t annoy me [or I haven’t seen anything from it that annoys me] but…)

5. The worst cartoon you’ve ever seen, and why?Fanboy and Chum Chum, as far as cartoons I’ve actually watched go (because hoo boy, worse cartoons exist out there).  Everything about that cartoon is…wrong and broken.  It has one style of humor and that’s toilet/gross out humor.  The “straight man” so to speak, basically an emo teen version of Squidward, is actually…not Squidward in-show??  Like in the intro he’s very clearly set out to be a grouch who hates the main characters, but in the show he’s just…an introvert that gets wrapped into their plans and only snaps at them when they actually hurt him.  The protagonists are annoying as fuck and are psychopaths that deserve to be locked up in a mental institution.  It’s not funny.  The voice acting is annoying as hell.  And the animation is disgusting.  I didn’t know it was even possible to make 3d animation look this rendered yet still look so bad, but apparently it is.  Like they took extra effort into making the show look WORSE.  I will say that its impressive that they managed to get such tooney designs to exist in a 3d space, but that doesn’t do you shit good when the animation is gross.

6. The worst moment you’ve ever seen happen in a cartoon.Directly, as in I was watching the show?  Something in Fanboy and Chum Chum.  Indirectly, as in I watched a review where they showed the scene or I read about it?  Something in Family Guy, or the self-insert in the PPG reboot.  Yeah there’s a self-insert in the PPG reboot.  Every time I think it cant get worse…it does.

7. The worst thing you’ve ever seen happen to a cartoon that ruined it.I was really neutral on Teen Titans Go (some of the jokes made me laugh but others were really cringey, but it was at least funny some of the time and the art didn’t hurt me as much as other shows on CN, so whatever) but then I found out that they’ve actively attacked their critics in-show and have generally responded very poorly to criticism and…asdf.  Like its one thing to stay quiet, it’s another thing to embrace it and say “yeah we know its stupid, but it made us laugh!” (which they did do, kinda), but it’s another thing to spit in the face of everyone who has a problem with it (and not even address their criticisms, like they act like they did but?? no they fucking didn’t??).  Like the problem I have with the show is not that it’s stupid.  The problem is that the writers say “yeah, it’s for kids, so it should be stupid” (its not even “well it made us laugh” from what I remember), the problem is that the writers never watched the original show and completely ruined the legacy of a show that actually took itself seriously, the problem is that the writers are so fucking high on their horses that they respond to the haters IN-SHOW and LAUGH AT THEM.  My problem is not with the show itself, my problem is with the culture it embodies.  It embodies the worst of Hollywood entitlement, cheap shithole cashcow shows, cheap reboots that disappoint fans of the original, “stupid because its for kids” cartoons, and basically the worst Hollywood has to offer.

8. A cancelled/forgotten cartoon you would bring back to television.Uhh if nothing happens with Infinity Train then that, but besides that…another series of Avatar (like following a new avatar) would be fucking great but I don’t want to put the creators through the hell that is Nickelodeon lmao.  I also thought Harvey Beaks looked nice, like I never watched it but it looked okay, so I’d be okay with bringing that back too if it made the creator happier (honestly the poor creator…nickelodeon treated him really badly too)

9. An animated character you remember but nobody else seems to.Pete from Steven Universe lmao like where did he goJoking aside (SU is too relevant to count for this) uhHHH fuck I guess the characters in the Monsters vs Aliens cartoon? nobody remembers that movie but the show kinda cemented the characters in my mind (I would’ve said back at the barnyard but honestly I don’t remember the characters until you show them to me, besides like the main cow guy, whoops)

10. An animated character you hate the most, and why?Onion annoys me.  Like…he’s that kind of character that has no rhyme or reason behind what he does.  He’s the kind of character whose entire personality just relies on the kind of Adventure Time-esque humor that I just don’t get or enjoy.  The kind of humor that just creeps or grosses me out or bores me instead of making me burst out laughing.  The kind of humor that’s physical-based, but just too slow and poorly paced to be funny like slapstick.  I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s exactly how Onion seems to me and that’s why I dislike Onion.  In Doug Out, for example, Onion has no gross out or creep out jokes, and I don’t mind him as much.  Like he’s not a GOOD character, he still doesn’t bother insisting that there’s something else out there when the others disagree with him, but at least he isn’t scaring me.  OH AND MARCUS FROM DIGIMON DATA SQUAD I immediately thought Onion because he’s a cartoon character, but since this is just for animation in general…aksdhfgfkj i dont know why I hate Marcus so much, I dont want to hate Marcus so much, but I do.  His response to everything is just to punch everything and he’s so entitled and annoying and hotheaded and aAAARG HES JUST INFURIATING, I DIDNT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO BE THIS MAD OVER A CHARACTER THAT ISNT FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN BUT HERE I AM

11. A non-animated property you would like to see as a cartoonidk if this counts because it’d have to be an anime probably but FOSSIL FIGHTERS CHAMPIONS!!! LITERALLY I WOULD CRY IF THIS WAS MADE INTO A MANGA OR ANIME PLEASE @ NINTENDO MY FAMILY IS STARVING but seriously can you imagine like….you could have a mute main character (its implied that the protagonist talks a few times but they could be selectively mute or just mime and the dialogue could be rearranged appropriately) and if you choose the female protagonist you could make her gay for Pauleen??? Like I refuse to accept the male protagonist as the “canon” main character bc I want gay sorry.  BUT LIKE!!!  You wouldn’t have to write that much bc its already written!! and its really fucking ridiculous and would probably appeal to like…TTG-loving kids because its so silly asdf BUT ITS ALSO GOOD, IT HAS HEART, PLEASE THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA like its not a good idea for manga/anime because it IS kinda ridiculous and childish but?? it would fit so well as a western cartoon???  Hey Nintendo can you please give me a license to produce this because I swear to god I would if I could

12. A trope or trend in animation that you dislike.Well there are a lot but they aren’t exclusive to animation…?  "Blonde popular bitch" and “damsel in distress” have been two of my personal most-hated for all my life because of who I am/was, but there are others I dislike too.  I also really hate the kinda…style that Adventure Time set up in cartoons.  Like I guess AT isn’t really responsible for ugly-looking cartoons and the type of humor that I dislike, because looking at CN before it aired there were already shows like that (Chowder, Flapjack…) but I think AT really popularized them and :/ it also reworked the same concepts in Chowder and Flapjack and people were like “WOWEE CARTOON RENAISSANCE !!!” and I just kinda….idk.  I have a lot of personal baggage against AT lmao sorry AT fans, like I don’t even hate the show and not all of its effects were bad (not in the slightest) but like TTG I have issues with some of the things it popularized.

13. A currently airing cartoon that you know is going to be forgotten about in the future.Hmm, We Bare Bears maybe, or like Mighty Magiswords.  Like CN plasters Mighty Magiswords everywhere but nobody gives a shit about that show so I feel like its only a matter of time before it disappears yknow?? but maybe im wrong.  WBB doesn’t get the attention it deserves so yeah.  Also maybe that Bunsun is a Beast cartoon over on Nickelodeon? im not sure man

14. The best episode of a cartoon you really like.The Southern Raiders (that’s only one of my favorites tho, like?? The Puppetmaster is tied for first in that season, and that’s just in that season, not including the other two seasons of ATLA)

15. The worst episode of a cartoon you really like.Rocknaldo or any episode centering around Onion, e u c k

16. A cartoon you feel deserves more recognition than it gets.Uhhhhh fuck everything I watch is mainstream cries WBB isn’t that popular and like its a cute, perfectly fine show, but its not like…revolutionary

17. A cartoon you feel deserves less recognition than what it gets.ADVENTURE TIME, also s/o to Regular Show, Clarence, Uncle Grandpa…like those last two aren’t even universally liked but sorry I still think they get too much praise asdf

18. The worst idea you can think of for an animated series.It already exists and its called One Ounce Mouse, but honestly adult cartoons in general are…a bad idea.  Like if you’re just gonna use your adult rating to offend people instead of using it to be insightful or using it to be ACTUALLY FUNNY, what the fuck are you doing with your life?  You should be fired tbqh

19. At what point did you realize a cartoon, any cartoon was starting to get bad?I can’t remember when I realized SpongeBob was starting to get bad, but it was sometime around 2010 or so.  I remember getting really sick of the show when it went to HD/fullscreen because for some reason, all the new character designs got…significantly worse??  Like the season premiere of that season (cant remember which season it was, don’t care to look it up) had three new characters and they all looked…so fucking ugly?  It was really hard to look at?  Like seriously they looked like something out of Sanjay and Craig, not SpongeBob.  Even the main character designs just…looked too smooth and rounded and not good to me.  It reminds me of like Family Guy and i dont like that overly smooth, “we have too much money so we blew it on extra in-between frames instead of good-looking art” style.  I think the final breaking point for me was Squid Baby and the episode where Gary got overly attached to a ball, and realizing that after an episode that actually was kinda legitimately nice (it was the one about Plankton getting a pet) they were never going to bring up Plankton’s pet again and ugh.  Like lack of continuity is nothing new but I really wish he had kept the pet, it was the best thing to happen to the show in literal years.  Like seriously that episode was the best new episode in years, it was legitimately cute even though I had a beef with some of the character designs (as I always did in that season)

20. An experience with a cartoon you thought you were going to like but turned you away from it.I tried watching Bee and Puppycat the other day and it really….put me off….because it had more of that Adventure Time style humor and I legitimately thought it interfered with how the plot should’ve progressed.  Like Bee was way too okay with everything and we didn’t get any explanation for anything because instead she just made weird noises and bit a monster’s tongue off.  I’m still gonna watch the other episodes for the heck of it, so maybe I’ll change my mind, but eh

21. Something you would like to see more than anything in a cartoon.It already exists and it’s called Avatar: The Last Airbender + The Legend of Korra

22. What do you feel makes a cartoon forgettable?That’s….actually a really good question.  Because like, I would’ve forgotten about Adventure Time years ago if it hadn’t been drilled into my head that everyone else thought it was the best thing ever and I didn’t.  I might be off my SU high by now if I didn’t keep reblogging/reading SU-related stuff on tumblr lol.  I guess blandness is what makes your cartoon forgettable.  If its not so bad that it’s funny/everyone needs to insult it, but its not good enough that it gets good reviews, then there’s just…no place for your cartoon, especially if its not profitable so it gets cancelled quickly.

[poeplepound]

!!! i !!!! love these guys so much!! theyre so spectacular omfg !

also i tried to do this once already ! and i was very far into a very long info dump about these guys and i was ALmost done ,,, and my browser crashed, but im doing it again anyway because i need it (i might make typos and sound like a bum jus btw)

sean bonnette and benjamin gallaty started releasing musci together in 2005 after having worked together in a coffeeshop in pheonix arizona - sean was 18, and the buds released their debut album “candy cigarettes and cap guns” and have since released four other full albums, a handful of singles, two eps, and a compilation

sean has a bachelors degree in social work, and has always been working in homeless shelters, volunteering with youth programs, and trying to give a voice to one of the largest groups of stigmatized humans on our planet

candy cigarettes and cap guns was released when sean (30 y/o) was only 18 - and he has since recieved lots of negative feedback on offensive content in ajj’s older songs - to this, sean apologizes but says , quite frankly , that he was a yung edgy boi at that time in his life, and even if his music was offensive then , it represents a time in his life and hes not going to let its content discount that relevance

this is similar to how ajj changed their name from “Andrew jackson jihad”, sean and ben publicly decided to stop using the old band name because they aren’t muslim and have to right to use the term jihad as a part of an aesthetic - neither of the guys expected ajj to get so big, and andrew jackson jihad was adequate for a yung edgy boi garage band

ajjs vast discography centers around themes of social anxiety, privilege, depression, mania, loving how horrible life is, making the most of nothing, being nothing, and how wonderful our shitty planet is

ajj is considered folk-punk, and to a certain degree i agree with that, but to me music genres are irrelevant, and often times musicians fail to fit a category

the idea of organizing music by genres is restricting to a musician and songs and music grow as people do.  in an interview with verbicide, sean said that he acknowledges ajj’s influence on “folk punk” but how the identification of what folk-punk actually is is very vague and unclear, what really Is folk-punk?

ajj has albums that are way more based in folk music, and some that are way more based in punk - some songs are very poppy, some kind of choral in nature - but somehow, ajj has a very cohesive, recognizable sound that never fails to impress and comfort me

this is in part to sean’s wonderful lyrics, they are so very very raw and uncut - he is incredibly relatable while staying poetic, and i admire that So Much.  his use of metaphor in his lyrics has alwasy been apparent, but even more so in his more recent albums, and his political commentary songs are more prevalent in older songs - but they stay SO RE l AT a b LE !! every time i listen to ajj, i feel so whole and accepted and like im listening to my deepest internal thoughts and feelings in the form of beautiful lyrics and entrancing music

when asked if sean’s lyrics are a reflection of a darkness inside of him, he usualyl replies by saying that hes no darker than anyone else is - he just has a way to express and expel that darkness.  after the release of knife man, sean was asked if his emotional songs were about his past and what he’s been through as a person, and hes replied by saying that a lot of what he sings about is stuff that hes seen through his job, and learned about through people he’s met and interacted with.

shortly before christmas island was recorded, sean’s grandfather passed away.  his grandpa had lived with him from the time he was 13 tot he time he was 18, and he was a very major male role model in his life.  christmas island has lots of imagery around death, and a lot of the songs on the album personify grief and death.  sean has said that christmas island is an album about “pre-grief” meaning the way that people feel bad about death and grieve loses before theyve even happen, just beause they know theyre coming.  sean’s grandfather’s death was not unexpected or sudden, and he died very happily - surrounded by all of his grandchildren, and the feeling of knowing someone you love will die shortly is what fueled a lot of the tone of christmas island.

sean is a big big fan of 90′s hip hop, and a lot of his lyrics and writing style is heavily influenced by his favorites - aesop rock, brother lynch hung, biggie, and ol dirty bastard (seriously sean is SO Iconic)

i’ve been listening to ajj since their release of “knife man” in 2011, i could never pick a favorite album of theirs  - i love each of them and theyre each incredibly important to me

their 2007 album “people who can eat people are the luckiest people in the world” gave me a completely new worldview , and showed me that the world is incredibly imperfect, and humans are incredibly imperfect, but life is so worth living, and there is still so much good amazing stuff in the world

in 2008 they released the ep “plant your roots” and in 2009 “cant maintain” - both of theses eps were the first time i had found relatable emotional music that felt so accurate to myself - it was raw, it was unapologetic, it was beautiful, and it was sad.  these eps have an incredible tone, and theyre both so different (cant maintain being more light and - dare i say - playful) but still so connected and deeply rooted (pun intended ;) ) in my head as near perfect expressions of my feelings

“knife man” was released in 2011 and it came into my life at a time where i was trying to learn about myself and discover who i was, and this album guided me in such a strong positive direction - it introduced me to white privilege, taught me about forgiveness, how to be unapologetically me, but still let me stay in touch with my dark, cynical, pessimistic side of myself - knife man is somehow so negative but still so positive and i think thats how a lot of real life is, and ajj captures that incredibly well 

knife man was the first ajj show i ever saw, and i will never forget how captivating sean is when he preforms, his body language and his expressions reflect so much of what he’s singing, theyre so true

in 2014 they released “christmas island” and im not gonna lie when i first heard it i really didnt like it - i thought it was too poppy, and not raw enough like how ajj usually is - it felt wrong to me.  but alas, i kept listening, and i soon fell in love with this album.  it is indeed poppier than their other stuff, and when it came out in may of that year, i didnt really want to like it that much - and so i avoided it, and once Taylor Swift’s super poppy 1989 came out that october, i avoided it Even Harder because i felt like 2014 would be the year of great musicians selling out to labels to gain hits.  eventually, i let myself sink into christmas island - i allowed myself to like it, and boy o boy did i fall in love. i saw the show and i cried. the album seamlessly ties together themes from older albums - optimism, death, unrest, self-loathing - but it introduces a new style to seans words - theyre less direct, less blunt, less in-your-face , he starts using metaphors that dont make sense the first time you listen, his lyrics take on a new type of poetry on this album - and its beautiful

christmas island is softer, its more about introspection and knowing why youre the way you are - its about emotional intelligence - this album taught me how to know whats happening, and how to accept it and learn form it and let myself dream and live, despite how shitty stuff is, and i love it.

in 2016 “the bible 2″ was released, and i waited to listen to any of it until i went to see the show - i binged the album twice through right before i went to see them, and i had really really mixed feelings about it - some of the songs i didnt understand, i didnt like the sound of some of them, and i felt like they got very preachy.  once i saw them play the song “small red boy” though, i was 110% hooked - it suddenly made sense to me as an album.  the sound is so personal to me, and i connect with the radio static and the messy raw noise, and the lyrics take on such a poetic, innocent tone, and all the songs are equal parts inspiring, funny, and dark.  i really really really truly love this album.

this is kind of just a silly extra, but in 2015 they released a single called “keep on chooglin” and i honeslty dont understand what most of the song means, but its really a bop and its poppy and upbeat and positive, and i can gather that basically to “choogle” is to be yourself unapologetically and just do your own thing and basically fucc the haters, and its a nice song to listen to if youre feeling down because the lyrics are funny and the message is bright

ajj’s discography has gotten me through some of the hardest years of my life, and have seriously, literally, kept me from killing myself on so many occasions and i am forever grateful - if i had not stayed alive until now, i would miss so much and i would throw away my life, just because i didnt feel like making it, and now i can say in full confidence that this band has ridded me of all my suicidal ideation , and if anyone is down here reading this, im gonna make an ajj “dont die” playlist that i Will post here

in 2012, ben gallaty recorded a couple songs under the name wiccan babysitter, adn then a few years later (2016) he recorded a few more under the name benjamin galaxy - he compiled these songs in 2016 onto an lp, one side being the wiccan babysitter ep and the other being the ben galaxy ep.  i didnt know this was a thing until recently? which is weird? but i have listened through the lp many times - i still dont have a strong grip on what the songs mean, but i can say that the wiccan babysitter/benjamin galaxy lp is super comforting to me as well.  the sound is unique and different from ajj, but it is still warm and whole feeling, and the lyrics are still relatable to me, and i want to read more about what ben wrote about and why, but im having trouble finding info on this project

im mostly done for now, it’s very late at night, and i have work tomorrow morning, but i’ll leave u with this - youre an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer, and thats a huge bummer