#i am incapable of brevity
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when the “small little interlude fic” turns into being over 6k words long … and counting!
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Hello! I'm Tesh! (My previous URL was phantomspren.) I'm an adult, aroace, American, use any pronouns, and am going to school for film and media production. (I'm going through a journalism program, so I also sometimes I say I'm a journalism student, just depends on the situation.) I've got minors in cultural anthropology and creative writing.
I crochet, do HEMA (smallsword mostly, though a bit of rapier and longsword too), and write! I'm also a Nerdfighter! And theoretically I'm learning Welsh and German.
I mostly reblog things I think are silly, but also plenty of serious stuff and fanart and things.
Media I am currently working my way through:
Books: Wind and Truth (Brandon Sanderson)
Games: Slay the Princess, I'm always playing Hollow Knight on and off
Shows: Doctor Who, Arcane, Owl House (17th rewatch I think)
Audio dramas: Welcome to Night Vale, Malevolent, Camlann
(Will I keep this up to date? We'll see. If not, I'll delete it eventually. So far I am because I am enjoying the list.)
DMs/asks: I really love talking to people. I'm kinda shit at asking good questions to facilitate conversations, but feel free to DM me or send me asks and tell me about your projects or to talk about media we both enjoy or anything like that. Or ask me what I think the meaning of life is, I do have an answer and like talking about it and hearing other people's thoughts. :) I will probably not DM you first because my social anxiety is quite bad with that, but that does not mean I do not want you to say hi.
Media I really enjoy and occasionally post about:
Books: The Cosmere (my first real fandom it is forever in my heart), The Locked Tomb, Lord of the Rings (also the movies), Phantom of the Opera (musical and other adaptations as well), Percy Jackson, Septimus Heap, The Raven Cycle, The Anthropocene Reviewed, The Wayfarers series, House of Leaves, The Dark is Rising Sequence
(My favorite genres are fantasy, gothic horror, older dystopian/sci fi/speculative fiction (I am a HUGE Ray Bradbury fan), history, and sociology. I have books recs. Ask me for book recs. Unless you want romance, I don't really read romance.)
Games: Hollow Knight, Outer Wilds, Slay the Princess
Shows/movies: The Owl House, Amphibia, Gravity Falls, Psych, Good Omens (fuck Gaiman), the 1996 Hamlet, Over the Garden Wall, The Muppet Christmas Carol (I kinda wish I was joking but I'm fucking obsessed with this movie), Barbie in the Princess and the Pauper (I am mostly joking but also it's so funny)
Audio dramas: The Magnus Archives (*shakes like a wet chihuahua*), Welcome to Night Vale, Hymns for the Road
Musicals: Les Miserables (also the book), Come From Away, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Michael Arden my beloved, I have not read the book yet), Hadestown, The Count of Monte Cristo (also the book), Wicked (not the book), Treason, The Clockmaker's Daughter (not the book there is no relation between the book and the musical), Frankenstein (also the book), Jekyll and Hyde (only portions of the musical, but also the book), Epic (I haven't read the book since I was fifteen but I enjoyed it)
Other music: The Mechanisms, The Amazing Devil, The Mountain Goats, The Narcissist Cookbook, The Crane Wives, To Kill a King, Sparkbird, AlicebanD, Fish in a Birdcage, Poor Man's Poison
A note on tags: I tag all Locked Tomb stuff with "The Locked Tomb," not tlt (it's short for a different thing in a different community I'm in). My personal tag for when I talk about shit is "Tesh talks." Other than that I think I do pretty normal things when it comes to tagging, feel free to let me know if you'd like me to change how I do stuff to make it easier to avoid spoilers or anything like that.
#if you can't tell i am physically incapable of brevity#sorryyyyyyyyy#we're working on ittttttt#i just like a lot of thingssssss#tesh talks#rahhhhhh my soul has been bared#i like having all my cards on the table though#all my cards being all the random shit I am obsessed with#okay that's all thanks <3
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you made the owie situation so much worse because max 100% would have chosen izzy as his suggenes 😭 i’m reading qoaad right now and i miss sizzy so much. cassie really missed the mark by not having them be more involved in the plot and politics, especially because simon had his whole downworlder and shadowhunter equality advocate arc in tftsa. not that i’m saying they didn’t have any opinions on the cohort, i just wish simon and isabelle had more vocal moments in the book and it’s council meetings, especially considering that simon is jewish!!! and the registery hits very very close to home if you get what i mean. i’m surprise that simon didn’t have a moment during a council meeting or any scene where he mentioned how close the actions the cohort wanted were to nazis. izzy was kinda just a babysitter for most of the times she was mentioned, i miss her badassery BUT i do understand that this book is from emma and the blackthorns’ povs and they’re closer to clace and malec… let’s hope simon works more with the new academy and we see him and izzy be mentors to dru (izzy trainer era would be elite)
okay i'm so glad someone else saw my vision... even if it hurts. i just can't help but imagine that in the universe where max lives, he gets closer to izzy into his teen years. i think izzy would spend more time with him when she's trying not to think about simon, bc both of her other brothers are in happy committed relationships, and then after the events of tfsa, he would get closer with simon through her bc of comics and anime etcetc and that would pull them tighter. plus, izzy isn't protective older brother like alec, and she isn't idolized like jace. she's a lot more .. accessible i guess is what i'm saying. as a sibling. she also ends up having a lot less responsibility than jace and alec, as you said, so it makes sense for him to go to her when he needs someone to talk to, or to her and simon's place when he needs a comfortable place to relax. ... anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this but it is not the point of this ask at all lol
i am also reading qoaad rn!! and i know exactly what you mean. i've thought similarly with simon. like he blazed through the sa in a very political manner, and yet we don't see him speaking up against the wrongs being committed here? and with something of this magnitude, and with his perspective.. there's no way he wouldn't feel a responsibility to speak up, especially now that they're all adult shadowhunters and are able to sit in on those meetings and have the voice they didn't always have access to as teens.
so basically yes i fully agree with everything you said <3 and i also really really really hope for more sizzy involvement in twp. i may have my hopes up too high (i.e. they exist), but just the knowledge that there will be a scene with simon at the pandemonium feels like it could imply a tilt in that direction. and i really think it's only fair o7
plus i mean.. not to go back to the max thing. but IF all of what i said above did happen, there's a world where sizzy would be more familiar with ty and dru bc they bracket max's age and would likely have ended up being friends, just by the nature of how involved clary is with emma, and emma potentially expressing worry about the kids not having friends their age etcetc you see where i'm going. so it just feels.. right. yk?
#i am incapable of answering an ask about simon or izzy or sizzy with any amount of brevity it seems..#and i really did try so hard with this one lol#sizzy#simon lewis#isabelle lightwood#max lightwood#tsc#the shadowhunter chronicles#qoaad#tda#the dark artifices#twp#the wicked powers#asks#anon <3
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update
good news is: the checkup showed nothing wrong with my hand meh news but don't worry it's actually okay: these past few days the pain travelled from my arm to my shoulder to my back and today to my right leg ^but that's actually good news too because that means it's not pertinent to my hand and it's just a general body thing borne of exertion and doc says I should just wait it out and rest (i mean not exactly in those words but this is the summary. it's nothing serious.) The thing that started it was probably what I did in the gym and while it's not unusual for me to get hurt somehow it never was like this - developing so may days after and so strongly - but well... gotta say I'm not exactly good at knowing my limits and always push through even though I know my body is kind of weak so I guess I'll need to go do something gentler instead (I go bc of health issues but. i guess even then it was too much)
So tl;dr: everything to my right hurts like a Butz but I'm not anxious about it anymore because my hand is probably fine so it's fine. And anyway my fingers at least feel a tiny bit better as I was able to eat using my right this afternoon so I guess he must be right.
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The Risen King and his Tactician
In my previous post about Risen King Chrom, I talked largely about who and what he is. What I didn’t touch on was questions of why and how; the reasons for his existence and the means by which he’s controlled. So that’s what I’m tackling today.
Naturally, this means an examination of Grima’s thoughts on the matter. It's not a purely tactical decision on their part.
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The first reason I could think of for why Grima would make a Risen out of Chrom was that it was an act of tactical cruelty aimed at their enemies. Nothing kills hope and morale in the enemy troops quite like making the shambling corpse of their exalt attack them! But while that’s almost certainly part of the point... It doesn’t explain why RK Chrom’s mind is intact. You can get that effect for a lot cheaper by bringing him back as a garden variety Risen with no sentience to speak of.
After reading the Forging Bonds supports, I initially thought part of the point was to be cruel to Chrom. They’re being sarcastic. They’re taunting him with his dead friends and torturing him by making him slaughter his people. That motivation would explain why he’s still mentally present—if the aim is to torture a foolish idealist son of Naga, it would hardly be satisfying if he weren’t actually there to be tortured.
But I think the main reason I read things that way is due to Heroes’ visual limitation of only having one portrait per character. They can’t adjust a character’s facial expression to better convey tone, which means that wherever tone is ambiguous in the text, the words are coloured by the expression of that one portrait. Since m!Grima’s portrait has that malevolent little smile, we interpret him as sarcastic or taunting and ignore the possibility that maybe, just maybe, the words are genuine.
Read those supports again, and this time ignore the portrait art.
Grima’s phrasing is never blunt. They couch all these hard truths about the situation in these long, indirect statements that soften them. They never bring up a point unless Chrom, in his panic and denial, brings it up first. They even play along with his delirium at first! None of the content of what they’re saying, absolutely none of it, is actually comforting; but the intent to comfort is there in the phrasing. It’s not “Robin is dead”; it’s “Robin is gone, lost, but I am here.” It’s not “Your friends are dead, and now they’re my pawns”; it’s “I know your friends are precious to you; don’t worry, I can bring them back, and you can lead them just like before.”
And they also lie about who killed Chrom. “Who stole your life, you might ask? It was I, with none other than the Fell Dragon Grima, within me.” It’s a bit convoluted, but it sounds like they’re trying to avoid implying it was Robin. But these supports aren’t a timeline where the details of Chrom’s death are unknown; we know he died at the Dragon’s Table fighting Validar, and his very obvious fatal wound is the same spot Robin stabs him at the Dragon’s Table in the premonition from Awakening. The spot that Robin stabs him, under Validar's control. If I were to speculate, I’d say it sounds like Grima is trying to preserve the memory of who Robin was. Spare Chrom the reality that it was his other half that killed him.
And the thing is, Grima has no reason to attempt to speak kindly to Chrom or to absolve Robin of blame... unless Grima remembers enough about being Robin to still care about Chrom. Regardless of how you interpret the nature of the connection between Robin and Grima, it’s not unreasonable to assume that Robin’s memories and emotions are part of Grima in some way, and influence their actions.
Why does Grima bring Chrom back from the dead? Because Grima never chose to kill the man they loved, and now that they’re a god again, they have the power to undo it.
But! We know that Grima is capable of true resurrection. They bring Validar completely back to life in the main timeline, living body and intact soul, when they aren’t even at full power. So if Grima cares that much, why not bring Chrom back as a living person?
The answer to that one is simple: because there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that Chrom would ever willingly participate in their apocalypse. What good would it do to bring him back only to have to kill him again? The fact that they don’t want to bear him being gone is what has them raising him in the first damned place. Grima needs him to be on their side... So they force him to be. They remake him as a Risen; a being bound to as dark a role as they are, and by definition, something they can control.
And here’s where we get to that how question. While Risen are naturally controllable through dark magic, there’s never been a Risen with a will before, and certainly not one with the blood of a different divine dragon. And given Validar’s actions, Grima is acutely aware of the fact that holy blood creates the possibility of control by another. Which means Naga might try something. They needed to counter that possibility.
Look at Risen King Chrom again and count the holy brands. It’s not just Naga’s anymore; he bears the brand of the defile too. At first I thought it might be attached to his sword, but I enlisted the help of a much healthier Chrom to check, and...
...no, the brand is absolutely attached to RK Chrom’s hand.
Grima covered all their bases. They minimized any chance that Chrom’s willpower or Naga’s meddling could interfere by making a blood pact with him as a second means of control.
Channelled dear old dad a little with that one.
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So why does Risen King Chrom exist? Because Grima still loves Chrom. Or to be more precise... he exists because Grima loves what Chrom represents.
He’s the idea of companionship. A symbol of the brief moment that Grima was Robin, and was happy. And they love that idea so dearly that they can’t let it die. They bring Chrom back—but they don’t bring him back as he was, they remove his ability to choose and then force him into something that has the shape of their former relationship and none of the heart of it. Grima is still the tactician, and Chrom is still the exalt, and they’re marching to war with the Shepherds like they always do. They’re together like they always were. Right? Grima is acting out a hollow facsimile of a different life, and Chrom is trapped in a nightmare he can’t escape from.
What’s worse is I think Grima knows it’s cruel to keep him around like this. But they’re too rigid in their own beliefs to stop what they’re doing, and too selfish and lonely to let him go. And I think some part of them takes comfort in the fact that they’ve broken Chrom of his ability to hope, too. If even he can’t keep fighting the tide of fate, there really was nothing they could do to avoid this. (Nevermind the fact that they rigged the game so he couldn’t fight even if he wanted to.)
#fire emblem#grima#chrom#risen king chrom#meta#i am incapable of brevity and i refuse to apologize for it#*slaps the side of the grima/chrom ship* you can fit so much toxicity in this bad boy#i think i'm preaching to the choir a bit as far as the regular group of grima studies folks i've found are concerned#but nonetheless i find it fun to dissect this stuff in detail so here we are lol
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testing the limits of mine and my laptops patience w this edit
#i am incapable of brevity my english teacher used to tell me that when i wrote essays she would say#try to say this in less words#that's how i edit things too like girl . let's try to reduce these file sizes 💀
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Sweet jesus... I'm watching this video right now by a psychologist talking about the experience of being a gifted child and it is RESONATING.
What's really particularly catching my attention right now, about a third of the way through, is the negative feedback loop about putting in the same amount of effort and getting worse results.
And I can point right to that in my own life.
I am particularly thinking of experiences that I think happened about a year apart.
In 9th grade English I had Mrs. Harper. Mrs. Harper was one of my favorite teachers in high school. Tiny little alkie who had soooo had it with us little shits and all our BS. I think she retired two or three years after I graduated XD because she finally just couldn't take these bad kids anymore XD. :/ I think she died a couple of years after I graduated college :/ tell the teachers you like that they're important while you can, I guess.
But she was the first teacher to ever fail me on any kind of test outside of STEM classes. And I was just devastated. I had read the book. I had read the notes. I was even interested and enjoyed the reading. And I told her: I studied.
She said she knew I had. She could tell I had done the work. She just taught High School, so the standard was higher. I had to do more than simply show I had done the work. Now I needed to extrapolate new stuff of my own that I hadn't been already given. But now I knew what the new standard was and she was sure I could work harder to meet it the next time and get better grades going forward. One F wasn't the end of the world, it was simply a guide post to how I needed to adjust. Just treat it like a tool to look for the sorts of thinking I needed to do.
And you better believe that was the only test I didn't pass for any class I ever took with Mrs. Harper. I was an A student for her because she told me exactly what I needed to do to meet her standards. She never expressed any doubt that I was capable of it or that I had done something wrong. Just, ok, you've reached this level, I see that, I believe you, I trust you, I just want more. Let's go for the next level. You can do it.
She got me. And she gave me what I needed. And how much I liked Mrs. Harper was something of a running joke because I appreciated that so much. She never let me slack but she was very consistent and clear once I understood what she was saying. Her grades always made perfect sense. Her behavior was consistent from the first to the last time I saw her.
I don't want to imply by contrast that Mrs. Surdaki was not a good teacher. Or that she didn't understand kids. I liked Mrs. Surdaki fine. I would even put her above average. And I feel like she did her best. Had a good heart. No general, abstract complaints. It's simply that she gave me the exact opposite of what I needed when I needed it.
I had her for history the following year. And she gave us the biggest term paper that any of us had ever gotten up to that point. And she let us have a lot of leeway in the topic. So I got to pick what I felt was very important to me and it motivated me to go the extra mile. I feel it is relevant to point out that I recycled parts of that paper multiple times, including in college, to get A's. So, from that perspective, you can say she actually provoked the best in me.
She gave me a B-.
I wasn't devastated. I was furious. I had worked my butt off on that paper. In my opinion, it was an A+ paper, and this was plain unfair. Again, while I never exactly recycled that paper in full, I did reuse a lot of it and got A's. In college. I now have a Masters degree in teaching my field. It may not have been an A+ paper but I am actually angrier in retrospect than I was at the time. The grade she gave me was exactly what you should not do to a student from everything that I've learned about education.
So I demanded to know what was wrong with it. Why had I gotten a B- for that work?
And she said it was because she knew I could do better. She knew I hadn't done the very best I was capable of. She wanted me to exert more effort. And she had graded me according to that disappointment in my effort versus my potential.
The problem is that Mrs. Surdaki was absolutely 100% wrong. I put more effort into that paper - because I was able to choose what I really cared about and was deeply important to me - than I had done for any other paper before. Or afterwards for the rest of high school. Not just because of the level expected from the paper - I should also note that I was never asked in college to write a paper that long - but because I cared and wanted to do a good job. I had, in fact, exceeded myself.
She hadn't raised the bar on me like Mrs. Harper had with a new standard I simply hadn't yet understood. She had pulled the rug out from under me. What she had told me, without intending to, was that the expectations were arbitrary. They were what she wanted them to be. And what she wanted from me was more. Not a specific more but an abstract, oh, you're really gifted, I know you can do something amazing but you didn't wow me, so down your grade goes.
Who thinks I tried hard again for Mrs. Surdaki?
Again, didn't particularly dislike her. If anything I did like her. She was fun. Young and not yet jaded by us evil little hellions. Easy to get along with if you didn't actually try to cause shit.
And I got perfectly fine grades. If I recall correctly I passed her class with a solid B. Because I stopped trying and she eventually decided that she had been wrong and nope, I couldn't actually do better. So: whatever. And we both just coasted through History.
While Mrs. Harper and Mrs. Surdaki were the first. They certainly weren't the last experiences of those dynamics. People who challenged me AND gave me the tools to meet those challenges, got my best efforts. Not just my intellect but all my people pleasing and my desire to excel. People who just made it tough, fuck 'em. I don't need 'em. I'll sail through or give them the kiss off because I know I can't trust them.
It's the difference between looking at the evidence and coming to a conclusion (good) and having a conclusion for which you find evidence (bad). They might look the same on the surface but one is patently bullshit.
Unfortunately, the outcome also taught me a pattern. That I can get away with the kiss off. All I have to be is pleasant. Don't rock the boat and the bare minimum will do. What Mrs. Surdaki accidentally taught me was that most people don't know what they think they know about other people. People just guess. And if they're wrong, well, no skin off their back. Who cares, really. So she also accidentally taught me not to try until someone proved they were worth the effort and insightful enough to be trustworthy. A test that most people fail because it's easy to fail and most people don't even realize they're on the spot.
The end result: Mrs. Surdaki's conclusion was a self fulfilling prophecy that caused what she wanted to nip in the bud. Not really her fault. Certainly not her intent. Just the lesson I took.
So it goes.
It's just that I need to change that behavior now.
#just my life#gifted child#eternal burnout#I know no one else cares#just feels important to me#and I am incapable of shutting up#brevity is beyond my current skill level#I need a lot of improvement
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stayed up until 1:30 AM playing chronicles & working on the klapollo t4t fic. checked the fic draft this morning and it’s only about half-coherent. nice.
#saturn.txt#when i tell you that i am INCAPABLE of brevity in my writing#this entire fic was supposed to be hehe transfem klavier hehe transmasc apollo#but somehow it became about abandonment issues and apollo's search for a purpose in life#like hello#I MIGHT HONESTLY. TRY AGAIN W/ A DIFFERENT ANGLE.#it's supposed to be a little pride month fun thing but i might just give up and work on the vera fic honestly#thankfully i've got time
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Lucky Me
single dad Eddie Munson x single mom Reader
A follow up to Meet the Parents
You have thought, over the last few weeks, about how serendipitous this whole thing is, how the universe’s mysterious ways brought you here - to Hawkins, to the Hideout that night, to Eddie’s bed, and now this bench, watching your daughters play together.
After your one night stand, you arrange a play date and a date date.
Word Count: 18.5k
Contents: Two love-struck sweethearts (I reccomend reading MtP first). This is not intended for minors, 18+ Oral (M&F receiving), PinV sex, some public groping, Eddie Munson’s filthy (magic) mouth. Eddie & Reader are both single parents. Parent-death mention. Reader suffers a bit with anxiety/gets overwhelmed. No physical descriptors for reader, but mentions wearing Eddie’s t-shirt to sleep in. Food & alcohol TW. Modern AU.
Note: I am incapable of brevity; I am a yapper. But I’ll cut to the chase - writing this has been a silver lining to a lot of change and crap days over the last few months, I started writing this in early January and here we are. I really hope you enjoy this one, and thank you for being patient with me!
Eddie Munson fics | dividers by @saradika-graphics
Your New Year started, as the previous one had - watching the clock and calendar reset to 0:00 as fireworks popped and sparkled beyond your window. The television volume is turned low, not to wake the sleeping girl beside you in her ‘Happy New Year’ hairband and pink pyjamas, sugar-crashed and rosy-cheeked.
Hazel had wanted to stay up for midnight, but she was drowsy-drunk by nine-forty-five and after an early countdown you found on YouTube, she was asleep in your bed after ten. You did not need to be won over or convinced for a sleepover with your favourite person tonight; you would rather be here with her to kiss her warm forehead as the bells rang than rattling around downstairs alone or away from her at some party of sweaty bodies and strangers.
Downstairs there are gold streamers to clean up, plates stained with pizza sauce and melted cheese and glasses sticky with the dregs of ‘fancy cocktails’ (a mix of juice and ginger ale that had Hazel giggling and delighted and dancing around the living room). They can wait until morning. Right now, you are content to settle to sleep next to her, feeling cautiously hopeful for what the year will bring.
Your phone buzzes a few times with texts from friends and family, to be ignored ‘til morning for the most part. And then you see his name among the notifications, the bat emoji and the sweet words and your stomach flips and fizzes.
Happy New Year sweetheart x
Eddie Munson has a consistent track record of making you feel flush all over in the few short weeks that you have known him.
The timestamp reads 0:01; you feel tingling excitement that you were on his mind so soon into the new year.
It’s 0:03 when you text him back, and you wonder if he gets that same tightening feeling in his gut when he waits for your reply, like you do with him.
Happy New Year Eddie xx
Your brain buzzes as you consider double texting, adding in something sweet about him and Fae having a wonderful new year, but before you can type anything, he has messaged back.
I hope you and Hazel had a fun night x
You feel warm all over, smiling involuntarily at his sweetness, and send back a selfie of you both from your party for two earlier in the night - matching smiles and sparky dresses, just coz, and another of Hazel twirling in said sparkly dress.
We partied hard 🥂 bed by 10 😎 How was your NYE? X
That familiar old feeling of anxious excitement and anticipation of texting a boy has found you again since your night and morning spent in Eddie Munson’s company. You have only seen him twice since; once at the girls’ dance recital and once in Bradley’s, when the girls spotted each other and had a high-pitched, excited reunion in the chip aisle (even though they had seen each other just two days before in school). You have spoken to him every single day since that morning in Munson’s, texts that turned into phone calls and FaceTimes. It had been mostly PG (mostly), but your shared simmering want barely contained as you spoke quietly lately into the night.
Eddie returns a picture of Fae tucked up asleep under Wayne’s arm on the sofa, the older man with his eyes closed and head tipped back. A second picture of Eddie with a party blower between his lips and streamers in his hair follows.
Party for one. The lightweights fell asleep before the countdown 🙄
The pictures warm your heart, and you can’t help but go back to the picture of Eddie for a few seconds more before another text follows.
Can I call? x
Heart thudding quicker, you look down at sleeping Hazel, how her body moves with deep peaceful breaths. Her light sleeping phase has passed, now your daughter could sleep through a marching band most mornings.
You have already decided to tell him yes when he texts again.
No worries if you’re too tired. Just wanted to hear your voice Hope that’s not too cringe x
You are so endeared by him and put him out of his misery with a quick tap of your thumb. His voice is velvet on the other end of the phone.
“Hey there,” he murmurs. You can’t see his face but can hear the curved smile on his plush mouth.
“Hi. Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year. I wanted to say it properly. You two looked like you had a fun time.”
Smiling fondly, you look down at Hazel again and brush her hair back with a mother’s gentle touch.
“We did. She almost made it to ten thirty. We’re having a sleepover in my bed tonight, so she didn’t feel like she was losing out on any fun. I hope you’re not too lonely with the Sleeping Beauties?”
Eddie laughs low in his throat. You imagine him looking at Fae and Wayne with his warm brown gaze. “Nah, they tried to stick it out. Can’t blame ‘em. Wayne made burgers and then we did sundaes for dessert, like a build-your-own kinda thing. Food comas all ‘round.”
Their evening sounds comparably cosy to your own - homemade pizzas and the last of the Christmas chocolate to accompany Shirley Temples topped with extra cherries.
“That sounds lovely, Eddie.”
There are a few beats of silence, only breathing and the sound of distant fireworks. Eddie is the one to break it.
“I’d love to see you soon. I wanna see a lot more of you this year, if you want that too.”
Your chest feels tight in a good way, like your heart has grown too big for your ribs. Maybe Eddie can hear its sped-up thudding on the other end of the phone.
“I do want that. I’m still looking forward to that date you promised me, Munson.” Eddie’s low laugh is music to your ears.
“Maybe… Could we meet with the girls soon? On the second, maybe if you’re not busy? We could meet at the park over near the library, get some coffee. Let the girls run around and play fairies or whatever they do.”
Before Eddie can word vomit any more, you say yes. No hesitation. The thought of seeing Eddie coupled with Hazel’s excitement for a play date is too lovely to turn down.
“I’d love that, Eddie. The second is good for me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool. Great.” You can hear his grin. “This isn’t our actual date, by the way. I have a plan for that.”
In your mind, you imagine his grin melting into the smooth smirk that tempted you when you first met.
“Oh, you do?”
“Oh, I do. Are you free next Friday? I have a capable and willing ‘sitter on hand - he comes included with the date. The girls could sleep over here. If you’d prefer to arrange your own, that’s cool. Wayne offered so… up to you.”
He really had been planning this whole thing out. Your mind starts to race into your own planning mode, looking through your mental calendar and wondering if Hazel would be okay with a sleepover. Eddie’s voice brings you back to the moment.
“You don’t need to answer now. I’m trying to be more organised this year. A resolution kinda. Tell me when we meet up, yeah?”
“Yeah. Thank you, Eddie. I’m looking forward to it.” You want to say more, consider zipping your lip and swallowing down the words before you make it weird or too much. Decide, fuck it. “I can’t wait to see you.”
Eddie breathes out relief. “Me too. Me too, sweetheart.”
You talk for a few more minutes before saying good night, wish each other another Happy New Year and sweet dreams. Hazel slumbers on next to you, and you settle down to sleep with a smile on your face.
January second is not as bitterly cold as you had feared it might be. Bundled in hats and coats, scarves and gloves, you let Hazel pick the music for your short drive to the park with the playground that she always asks to go to.
Your girl buzzes and bounces with excitement, smiley-faced in the rearview mirror.
“I’m sooooo excited to see Fae!”
You catch her eye in the mirror and smile.“I bet she is so excited to see you too, honey.”
“And we’re getting hot chocolate after we play! To warm up.” Hazel parrots what you had told her earlier, as excited by pink and white marshmallows and extra whipped cream as she was about the play date.
Hazel talks and you listen, answering her unending curiosity about everything; if there will be other kids there (maybe), will Fae have her sparkly boots on (I think she will, let’s wait and see), if Hazel can have sparkly rainboots (let’s look next time we’re in Target). Her own boots (shiny red) knock against each other as you get closer to the park, excitement flowing off of her in buckets as your belly flutters with anticipation.
You swing your car next to Eddie’s black truck and try not to wince when Hazel squeals her joy. Fae sits in the passenger seat, waving both hands at her friend - by the slightly pained look on Eddie’s face, she is as high-pitched as Hazel is.
“It’s Fae!! Hi Fae! Mom, let's goooo! I want to see my Fae!” she chirps.
You share a smile with Eddie through the window, warm-cheeked despite the chilly day, and wrangle Hazel out of her seat so she can embrace her friend. Ten days without seeing each other was apparently unbearable, and they hug and squeal and jump like best friends parted for decades.
Eddie lingers, watching you watch them, and reaches to squeeze your arm. A little more than two casual parents chaperoning playtime, and so much less than either of you crave. You had been spoiled by his touch and closeness that morning, only slightly satiated by his thigh and arm pressed against yours as you watched the girls prance and twirl at their dance showcase.
The squeeze dulls the ache and makes it worse all at once.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
The weight of whatever it is between you is more than it has any right to be after the little time you had spent together - even though most of that time was having sex and sleeping together as strangers. Whatever it is, though it is laden with desire and cautious hope, does not feel heavy when you are sharing the load with Eddie.
“Daddy, come on! Let’s rock and roll!” Fae beams, holding Hazel’s gloved hand in her own.
“Mommy, can we go in now? Pleeeeease?” Hazel asks.
Your respective Mini Me’s wear matching puppy-dog eyes and bounce in time on booted feet as they await permission (and assistance) to open the gate and start their imagination games.
Fae Munson has never failed to put a smile on your face. The more you get to know her Dad, you see how much of him she has soaked up into her own self: their shared unbidden laugh, the spark of mischief when they want to push buttons and tease (always in good nature and never ever mean). She reminds you of starlight, breathtaking and sparkling, to your daughter's sunshine-brightness - they are a perfect pair.
“Okay, okay. Chill for a sec,” Eddie laughs, wobbling his daughter’s head fondly, his hand spread wide like a spider over her lilac beanie. He holds the gate open, gentlemanly as you remember, and falls into step with you as the girls scurry on. “Pick a nice bench for us. I wanna check the slide is dry - Fae got a wet butt on it last time and she was not impressed.”
Fae is already telling Hazel about the horrors of the aforementioned wet butt - a horror of her own impatience and Eddie’s sleepy-headedness after staying up texting a certain someone late into the night.
He winks at you before following after the girls, calling ‘wait for meeee’ in a girly voice that makes them squeal-laugh and pick up the pace toward the swings to leave Eddie straggling.
You pick a spot with a good view of the girl's realm to roam, but far enough away that they will feel independent and you can soak up your time with Eddie. He checks the swing seats and the slide, dried by the kids who had played earlier that morning and jogs back to you after giving them both a boost onto the jungle gym. You had no time to quadruple-check your appearance in your front camera - not that this was your date.
His smile widens when your eyes meet, and he slows down a touch to enjoy the vignette of you on the bench in the winter sun, glowing and gorgeous. Ethereal, breathtaking. Eddie kind of cannot believe that you are real; you are here, and you like him (at least he is pretty damn sure you do).
You are warmed through by his gaze and fight the self-conscious feelings that creep in. You have thought, over the last few weeks, about how serendipitous this whole thing is, how the universe’s mysterious ways brought you here - to Hawkins, to the Hideout that night, to Eddie’s bed, and now this bench, watching your daughters play together.
Eddie sits next to you, thinks about pulling you against his side to keep you warm. He knows he cannot, not yet, but maybe someday.
“It’s good to see you,” he says. The sunlight shows flecks of gold in his dark brown eyes and the few silver strands in his dark stubble and hair, and you can see the warm vapour of his voice in the chilly air.
“You too, Eddie. I’m really glad we’re doing this.” There’s an unspoken ‘for the girls’ and a more obvious ‘so that I could see you in the flesh and not just on my phone screen’ that hangs in the air between you. Neither of you needs to say it out loud.
He smiles and knocks his shoulder against yours gently, radiating warmth and his spicy-warm scent. “S’better in person. Not that I don’t like texting with you, seeing you on FaceTime.”
There’s this familiarity between you, forged over text and video calls and a shared yearning for more that has been roadblocked by your responsibilities and real life.
Feeling brave, you wonder aloud, “Is it just me, or does this not feel awkward and weird? Like, at all…”
You watch his smile spread, his dimples deepen. A wash of relief releases the slight tension in his shoulders and on his brow.
“Not just you. We’ve talked most days though… And what’s this, like our fourth time meeting? I think we’ve broken the ice, sweetheart.” Eddie raises his brow, smirking in a way that lets you know that he is remembering that first night and the morning after.
Warmth floods your cheeks and your belly, letting yourself remember how his hands felt on your body, how he took you apart and held you back together again.
“Yeah. Yeah, we smashed that ice, huh?”
His laugh is a smokey, throaty chuckle, bursting from his plush mouth. “Yeah, we did.”
It sets you off, a laugh that you try to haul back, but the seal is broken now, and you have well and truly dashed any iota of awkwardness that may have lingered. Like teenagers who should not be laughing but cannot stop, it gets funnier again just as you stop. The girls look over, curious about their parents shared laughter, and you both wave back at them as you try to settle yourselves.
“Fae was so damn excited to see Hazel today. She woke me at seven - seven goddamn am. I can just about get her up for school, and then she wakes up at seven on the holidays,” Eddie says, watching them play together.
“Mm, Hazel too. Seven thirty, but she hasn’t stopped talking about it since I told her she had a play date with her bestie.”
Your daughter’s laugh blends with Fae’s, both perched in the basket swing that sways back and forth gently. It won’t be long until one of you is called up to push them higher than they can manage themselves.
“I’m glad she met Fae. Having a friend has helped her settle a lot.” Your eyes stay on the girls as you speak, and Eddie’s eyes are on you. “It was hard at first, she missed her old school, her friends, everything. I felt really awful about moving her entire life; she was so quiet, and I felt like the worst Mom ever.”
Your head turns to look at Eddie. “And then she met Fae, and she was like sunshine again. Brighter than ever.”
A warm smile spreads across his handsome face. His hand covers yours, a quick squeeze before retreating again.
“Faerie Dust,” he says, quiet voiced. “She’s good at making things better and she doesn’t even realise it.”
You match his smile, laughing quietly at the marvel that is Fae Munson. “Faerie Dust. Suits her, Eddie.”
“Doesn’t it just,” he says, glancing over to make sure the girls are still okay. “I’m glad she was there for Hazel. Fae… It’s not that she never had friends, but she’s never had a best friend. Not until Little Miss Sunshine over there.”
You feel tears pressing at the back of your eyes, happy relief to match your smile. It is one of those moments, those Mom Moments, when the difficult days and boundless motherly love are affirmed by realising that your kid is just as amazing to other people as she is to you.
“M’glad she could be that for Fae.”
Eddie squeezes your hand; he gets it. Eddie understands the relief of knowing he is raising someone who is filled with boundless goodness and kindness.
This time, he does not take his hand away so quickly. Alongside the adoration and pride for his imp of a daughter that fills his heart, there is a growing whisper of more-than-fondness for you and Hazel too.
You sit in easy silence for a few moments, just watching the girls with their heads together, their giggling and giddy mischief make you both smile. The call comes then (as you knew it would), Fae hollering over at her Dad to come and push them in the swinging basket. She tacks on ‘please!’ and you can see Hazel’s excitement to finally experience the long-fabled crazy-high-swing-pushing that her friend had told her all about.
“Duty calls.” Eddie stands, shares a smile that makes your cheeks warm and the butterflies swoop, and saunters across to them, bringing his mechanic’s strength that earned him the ‘best swing pusher’ title.
With both girls holding on tight, you try not to white-knuckle the bench beneath you as you watch Eddie pushing them in a high swooping arc. Hazel’s little face is wide open and full of joy and her laughter blends with Fae’s delighted whooping.
You see how Eddie is careful not to push too hard, too high, and how he keeps his body agile and strong to catch the swing again before pushing again. His face is animated as he teases the girls, kind-heartedly asking if this is high enough for them before sending them forward again before they can answer. It is easy to let your mind drift and remember his bare arms, dark ink and pale skin and the way they felt wrapped around you.
“Mom, look!”
Hazel’s delighted squeal brings you back to now, making your heart rate spike in a whole other way than your memories had.
You wave over as she swoops up high once more, “Wow, that’s the highest ever!”
Soon, they are giggle-drunk and beg for Eddie’s mercy, and he only toys with them for a little while before slowing them to a stop, spinning them around a few times until they have had enough. When the girls feel steady-footed again, he helps them down to race each other to the jungle gym to climb and conquer the crow's nest at its highest point. You don’t miss how Fae hugs him quickly, foregoing first place for a little piece of her Dad.
Once more, you watch Eddie make his way to you; his cheeks have a rosy glow from the exertion of swing-pushing. Beneath your winter layers, your body yearns to have him close to you again - partly to steal his warmth but mostly because you miss the way you felt when he held you, hugged you, mapped the sweet and soft spots of your body like he wanted to memorise all of you.
“What’s that look for?” Eddie asks, slowing to stand in front of you.
“What look?” you ask, trying to play cool and not smile and flush hot-all-over like a teen with a crush.
Eddie leans in closer, just enough that you can smell his cologne and spearmint gum, hear his stage-whisper.
“Like you want to eat me.”
The heat of his gaze and the way his lips curve in a wolfish smile bring you back to that night in the Hideout, his quiet deep voice takes you back to one particularly flirty FaceTime call long after bedtime.
You stop yourself from saying “because I do” by sinking your teeth into your lip, barely stifling a smile of your own.
Pleased with himself, Eddie retakes his seat next to you and lets his arm rest along the back of the bench, angling his body toward you.
“I was thinking about our date.”
You feel just as pleased with yourself when you see his smooth smile sparkle with something more boyish and exciteful, less suave than before. He had been building up to ask you.
“Yeah?”
“Mmhm. I’m looking forward to it.”
When you shift your eyes away from Hazel and Fae and meet Eddie’s eye, your attempt to play it cool and his barely contained excitement spark like flint, cool exteriors cracking your faces into a shared smile. Both soothed by the simmering excitement you share.
“Me too,” Eddie says, his mind racing to pull together his ideas for a great first date and pin them down.
“Claudia’s going to take Hazel for the night.”
Your cheeks heat up at the memory of Claudia Henderson’s intrigued smile and the flash of excitement that made her eyes sparkle when you asked if she would mind having Hazel overnight again. She didn’t pry, but made you promise her that you would be safe and relax, and to call her if you needed an SOS.
Eddie’s fingers brush against your arm, a barely there touch through the layers of sweater and coat.
“I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty?”
It’s more than okay, and you have to stop yourself from blurting it out. You temper yourself from being too eager, too enamoured by this man planning a simple date. Later on, your brain will buzz with what to wear and whether you will stay the night with Eddie again, and you will fight that doubting voice that tries to dull the shine of this and ruin your excitement.
“That sounds great, Eddie. Seven-thirty is perfect.”
Behind the leather and the wash-worn Metallica hoodie, the thermal beneath, Eddie’s heart is pounding and his stomach feels fluttery in a way it has not since he dated Fae’s mom. He thought that part of him was long gone, broken and buried.
“I can’t fuckin’ wait,” he says quietly. “I like spending time with you.”
Your heart is in your throat, and behind his smile, you see a glimpse of the same fears that rattle around your head. Your bodies are like two brackets on the bench, facing each other and holding between you the fragile buds and blooms of whatever this is, familiar and brand new all at the same time.
“Me too. I haven’t had something to look forward to in a long time,” you say, quietly sharing a secret in a mirror image of your daughters together at the top of the jungle gym. “Something that’s just for me. Y’know?”
You are fairly certain that he knows exactly what you mean, and you watch his shoulders sag ever so slightly, letting go of a breath that had been stuck in his throat.
“Yeah. I know that feeling, sweetheart.”
The girls steal your attention again, waving and calling for both of you so that you will watch them go down the big slide, Hazel first and Fae shortly after.
Soon, their patience for hot chocolate will wear thin and they will forget the playground in favour of sweet talking and puppy dog eyes with fluttery lashes, asking if it’s time for a treat yet. But until then, they are content to play and share secrets, whisper their shared wonder about what you and Eddie are laughing about.
The return to school and work is silver-lined by your date, a beacon of light in those dark and cold January days. You have promised Hazel a trip to Target for sparkly rain boots on Saturday, fuelled by Mom Guilt for leaving her on Friday night and dressing it up as her own glittering finish line to get through the first week of back-to-school.
The week crawls by in work, doing inventory and taking a few eager and early Valentine's Day orders, planning a trip to the wholesalers in Bloomington before the Big Day and scheduling consultations with the brides and businesses who want the most special arrangements for the most loved-up day of the year.
With the lazy days and late nights of Christmas behind you, your texts and FaceTimes with Eddie are peppered through your workdays and tired evenings, sending little check-ins and anecdotes about customers in the florist and the garage and keeping each other company on video calls while Eddie folds laundry and you load the dishwasher. He has peppered your conversations with little hints about your date: dinner in the next town over so you can escape the bubble of Hawkins but be close enough for any parent emergencies. His excitement has matched yours, his nerves too, and he is counting down the days until he can see you again.
When you see Wayne in the dance studio parking lot on Thursday, there is an extra twinkle in his eye when he asks about your week and wishes you a late ‘Happy New Year’. There’s something of it, a Munson brand of mischief and magic, that reminds you of Eddie. He doesn’t tease or give you the shovel talk but quietly tells you to have a good time just as the girls are released back to you at six pm.
All week, you have carried your excitement with you, tucked safely in your sternum beneath your cosy winter sweaters and your work apron. It is a different kind of simmering excitement and fear than you had felt that first morning with Eddie. As you fall asleep on (what Eddie has dubbed) Date Eve, cheeks still aching from smiling as you flirted hard with the mechanic over text, you imagine it as blowing soapy bubbles with Hazel in the garden when she was smaller. The slow blow, growing the bubble bigger and bigger with bated breath. Will it pop and leave your cheeks wet and eyes stinging, or will it float and shimmer iridescent in the sky? When your brain finally slows down, allows you to relax enough to drift off, you dream of Hazel’s baby laugh and the sun on your skin and bubbles flying up into the blue sky.
You wake on Friday feeling like all of the water in your body has been swapped from still to sparkling. You make breakfast sandwiches with egg and cheese and stow a packet of Mini M&Ms and a little note for Hazel in her lunch box. Hazel is delighted by your extra good mood, singing ABBA and Shania Twain and Love Shack with you in the car, asking (full of innocence) if this is ‘that Friday Feeling’ she had heard grown-ups talk about.
You bring doughnuts into work and share your good mood with your co-workers who ask if you have heard from ‘your guy from the bar’ over the holidays. An unsubtle ‘maybe’ as you arrange a bouquet for a new mom sets them off, excited to know more and playfully frustrated by your elusive answers. You focus on the butter-yellow arrangement and avoid saying too much, smiling too much, or gushing about how you’re seeing him later today.
They already know.
Eddie wanted to get you flowers for your date; he knew you had a particular love for them, one that brought you all the way to Hawkins to manage Ivy Lane Floral Boutique and restart your life in a new town. When he knew you were meeting a supplier earlier in the week, he swung an early lunch and called in to order a simple bouquet with a few ideas of what he wanted, helped along by your coworkers. They kept the order a secret, not wanting to spoil the surprise, off the books and safely stashed away from the other orders in the back. Most importantly, they will make sure you’re busy with something else or already gone home when he comes in to collect it later on.
All day, you wait for something to dampen your sunny mood. A call from the school or a text to cancel or announce a change of plans or a change of heart. Something to drag you down, back to cold reality. Something.
There is no cloud to eclipse the sun, no rain to stop play.
You leave work, pick Hazel up, make dinner for her, and pack her off to Claudia’s without a hitch - no tears, no “I want to stay with you, Mommy!”. You squeeze her extra tight when she lets you and thank Claudia for the hundredth time before heading home for your everything shower and a fortifying glass of wine.
Time moves too quickly and then not at all as you wait for seven-thirty. There are discarded outfit picks and shoe options around your room, and your bathroom bin has black-smeared cotton pads and Q-Tips from an eyeliner mishap and laddered tights that caught on your rings. You look in the mirror, smoothing your hands over the bumps and dips that stand out and re-thinking the black skirt and sweater topped with an oversized leopard bomber (your Christmas gift to yourself). It felt too much and not enough, rethinking your lipstick and the chunky boots and how you had styled your hair.
You’re just about to change back into black jeans when Eddie’s knuckles meet your front door.
Your heart sparks and spikes with excitement. One more look in the mirror; deep breath, relax your shoulders, smooth your skirt one more time. You know you look good.
On the other side of your door, Eddie is vibrating with excitement and the sharp chill of a winter breeze. He can hear your footsteps as you make your way to him, checks his breath again and makes sure he’s not crushing your flowers in his sweaty palm.
“Hi.”
You’re a vision, haloed by the hallway light in the doorway. Like a painting he would have pored over in high school art history.
“Hey.”
Standing on your doorstep in black leather and charcoal, the porch light makes his curls glow like a halo. Eddie looks edible.
It takes a moment for you to see the flowers, a bouquet of sweet-smelling deep reds, complimentary blushes and soft tones, a pop of purple.
“You look amazing,” he says, his smile is boyish and you can’t mistake the hunger in his eyes, see how his gaze lingers on where your skirt hugs your hips and the sheer black tights wrapped around your legs. After not-so-subtly checking you out, he remembers to be a gentleman. “I got you these. I know it’s probably crazy to get flowers for a florist…”
“Eddie, they’re lovely. Thank you. Come in for a sec and I’ll get a vase.”
When the door is closed, you take a moment to feel the weight of ‘this is really happening’ and the realisation that Eddie is in your house and you haven’t tidied much at all. You had accounted for every possible part of tonight, except this.
“Nice place,” he says, looking around at the maximalism of your style and the touches of parenthood until he simply has to get his eyes back on you.
“We’re still making it ours, a few boxes left to unpack in the guest room.”
Your hands cover his, feeling the chill carried from inside and the body-warm chunky metal of his rings as you take the flowers. You recognise them all, lilac, delphinium, ranunculus and rose, recognise their varieties and their meanings. Eddie had done his homework.
“I love them, Eddie. Thank you.”
Standing toe to toe, you breathe in the scent of him and close the chasm to kiss his cheek.
“And thanks for supporting a local business.”
His cheeks flame and dimple as you take the flowers and slip past in a haze of rich perfume, beckoning him to follow with that smile of yours.
Hummingbird wings beat hard in your chest as Eddie follows you to the kitchen. You ask how Fae is and how the first week back to school went for them as you fill a vase for your bouquet to rest in.
Eddie watches you easily move around the kitchen, admiring the bouquet as you untie the brown paper wrappings and lovingly make the flowers at home in the vase. His cheek is scorched from where your lips had grazed him, and yet he somehow manages to not sound like a bonehead as he answers you.
He can’t tear his eyes away long enough to be nosy about how your house looks, if you have any pending DIY jobs you might need a helping hand with (he knows you are more than capable, wouldn’t want to offend with an offer to bang a nail in your wall).
There is no prize for catching him looking at you. Eddie doesn’t hide his awe-filled and hungry gaze that makes you warm all over.
Despite the heat, you bundle yourself in your scarf and wool bomber, and check that your bag has everything you might need for the night (and the morning).
“Ready?”
“Ready.”
Eddie smiles and steps closer, both of your black boots toe to toe again, and fixes your scarf slightly as an excuse to touch.
“Perfect.”
You resist ducking your head, decide to be brave instead of shy, and slip your hand onto the buttery leather wrapped around Eddie’s arm.
“Not so bad yourself.”
You watch his gaze drop to your lips and the not-so-subtle way he moves millimetres closer.
Drawn together to meet each other halfway, it can’t be deciphered who kissed who first, a product of mutual longing. Melted together by your kitchen island, you share your breath and your lip stain with Eddie.
There are fireworks behind your eyes and trapped in your veins. After weeks of waiting and wanting, you are both finally put out of your misery.
You can taste the want on Eddie’s lips, his tongue. A man long starved of the affection he deserves, scared to ask for it and try again. He has wanted and waited too, with itchy fingers and a twisting need in his gut, all because of you. The memory of you laid out on his sheets, remembering your body and the taste of you, had almost driven him wild. Now he has you held safe in his hands, and you have him too. You don’t want to stop. You don’t have to stop.
But you do. As easy as it would be to walk blindly upstairs, finding and fumbling your way to bed, you both want more than sex. So much more.
Kisses slow, lips smile. You give in to wanting and share one more kiss, let it linger.
“I really wanted to do that,” Eddie whispers, tipping his head forward against you.
“Me too.”
You thumb gently at his stained mouth, giggling at the mess you have made of him before he has even bought you dinner.
“That colour suits you,” you whisper, before spilling into more giggling laughter, heads together.
Eddie returns the favour, attempting to tidy the smudges and making it slightly worse. Best left to your expertise. Within moments, you look like perfection once again, no bleeding lines or spilled-over stains.
“Better?”
He takes a moment, gives you an exaggerated once-over before nodding. “I liked it messed up. But yes.”
“Like ‘Eddie Woz Here.’”
Your eyes flash, siren-like.
Eddie likes the sound of that, likes the look in your eyes too.
“Careful. Or I’ll mess it up again.”
“I hope you do.”
Eddie’s head tilts back, eyes on the ceiling instead of you. “Oh, I’m in so much trouble with you. Fuck.”
He does not sound too pressed about that, nor does he look too annoyed with that smile on his face. You’re emboldened by his playfulness.
“C’mon, Munson. You promised to wine and dine me. Let’s go before I need to fix my makeup some more.”
His face is split in a grin, pure delight to see this fun and feisty side of you that he had met in The Hideout, the same sweet woman with a devilish side that he had got to know more and more with every text. He does his best to ignore the stirring in his gut when you call him ‘Munson. ’
Waylaid by one more kiss by the front door, you are soon on your way to Bedford with the clock ticking down to the dinner reservation Eddie had made. The thirty-minute drive goes by in a blink, catching up on how your respective Fridays had been and checking in about things the other had mentioned during the week on your calls and in your texts, all soundtracked by Eddie’s loud rock music turned at a low volume.
He squeezed your knee at a few stoplights, and you covered his hand on the gear stick as you cruised down the IN-37. You did not miss how his cheeks looked even more red in the glow of taillights and how his dimples deepened in a way that made your tummy twirl with fondness.
Once his black Ford truck is parked safely in a little lot within walking distance from your restaurant and your activity for the evening, Eddie rounds the bonnet to open your door and offer you a hand.
“A gentleman. I better thank Wayne for raising you right.”
Eddie smiles and squeezes your hand, keeping a hold of it as he clicks the lock and tucks the key away.
“My Mom was big on good manners, but Wayne? He’s somethin’ else.”
Eddie had mentioned that he had lost his Mom young, alluded to the fact that his Dad was absent (and not the best when he was around). His love for his Uncle was clear, and from your interactions with Wayne long before you met Eddie, you know that it is returned in spades.
“That man can swear like a sailor though. Don’t let the smile and Southern Charm fool you.”
There is a sparkle in Eddie’s eyes beneath the streetlights as you walk towards your destination, a little Mexican restaurant that shares its warm glow and spiced aroma from a tucked-away spot just off the main drag of Bedford.
The air is cool, but Eddie’s warm hand makes it all feel warm and glowing. The small town feels different in the dark, looks different. You had viewed a house on the outskirts before finding your home in Hawkins, only saw the centre of town when you were trying to follow the Google Maps directions to the too-small house on the back end of town.
You tell Eddie all about it as he navigates for you both, making sure you don’t need to dodge other pedestrians or lamp posts as he listens to your story. You realise halfway through just how boring it is and trail off. He squeezes your hand like he can read your self-chastising thoughts.
“Well, I’m glad it was a shitty house. Hawkins is poky, but I think you fit in just fine, sweetheart,” he says, knocking your shoulders together.
He winks at you when you look up at him, makes your gut somersault in such a pleasant way.
“You can tell you’re not from there though,” he says. And when you try to decipher why, he simply smiles and says, “You’re way too pretty to be from Hawkins, honey.”
Your shoulder knocks against Eddie’s arm in playful retaliation.
“You’re so full of it, Munson.”
There is no malice laced in your words, and Eddie can tell it is your shields going up. He can see how you have turned in on yourself, self-conscious and self-sabotaging behind a bashful smile.
“I mean it,” he says, squeezing your hand in a double time beat, “And not in the ‘everyone in Hawkins fucks their cousins’ way. Some do. I’ll show you my yearbook sometime, woof.” Eddie stalls your meandering pace a few feet away from the door of the restaurant.
“I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re gorgeous, and you’ve got somethin’ real beautiful in here,” he says, tapping the centre of your chest. “You’re one of a kind.”
That part of you that ruins everything wants to duck your head beneath your wrapped-up scarf and brush him off, but the part of you that has been nourished by getting to know Eddie over the last few weeks, the part that you thought had withered away beyond revival, feels so much stronger, braver, brighter.
You pull him closer so you can kiss his cheek, rest your head against his as you will the right words to come out of your mouth.
“You don’t have to say anything back,” he whispers. “Just needed you to know that’s how I think of you.”
Pulling back a little to look at you again, hoping you will not duck your head or dodge his eye, Eddie smiles softly. “I don’t have any expectations here. I like you, I think you like me. But I’m okay to take it at our own pace. Even if it’s kinda ass-backwards.”
The truth of it makes you laugh, how this all started with pure lust and how it has blossomed into something that could be beautiful.
“I do like you, Eddie. It scares me a little just how much I like you.”
You kiss him again, a sweet brush of lips that makes you both crave more.
“And I will like you even more once I’ve had a taco and a margarita.”
His laugh is loud, echoing into the dark evening and pulling attention from passers-by.
“Food motivated, I can work with that.”
Eddie cups your face with gentle hands and kisses you again until you’re smiling against each other's mouths, not caring that you’re in the middle of the street, blocking up the sidewalk.
The tacos are perfectly spiced and fresh with housemade tortillas and hot sauces, wedges of lime on the side, and the margarita you order has that perfect balance of sharp citrus and smokey tequila. The little table tucked away in the back has been the perfect spot to get to know each other more and more, picking back up the threads of conversations that were better explained in person rather than over the phone.
You both leave the bones of your past relationships mostly buried, a mutual unspoken agreement. It is enough, for now, to say that your relationship with Hazel’s Dad ended because he had found other things and other women he wanted to do instead of being a partner and a father. Eddie tells you that Fae’s Mom was his on-and-off girlfriend, that they were firmly off when he was told there was a baby on the way; he wanted to make something work and she didn’t want any part of it. There is so much more both of you can say, but tonight is not about the past.
Instead, you talk about books and films, Eddie tells you more about his love of music and how he got into D&D. You stash away the little tidbits of Eddie-lore for yourself. He asks about when you got into floristry, about the city you lived in before moving to Hawkins. Eddie isn’t shy about asking you things and you love that, love that he listens. He is a rare gem and you want to keep him all for yourself. It feels comfortable and easy, and you give as good as you get when he flirts with you and shares bites of creamy elote in exchange for a taste of your margarita.
He tells you about how he wants to see the ocean one day, take Fae to dip their toes in the briny tide. His Mom had promised him she would take him one day, but they never had the money or the chance, and then it was too late.
“Fae looks really like my Mom,” he says. “It spooks Wayne sometimes.”
The thought and the one that follows it make you smile, “So that means you must look like your Mom too.”
You see a flash of boyish pride as Eddie nods. He tempers his smile with a bite of salty tortilla chip smothered in guacamole. When he shows you the photo on his phone - a picture of a picture with a hit of his thumb in the corner - you see the resemblance to Fae in his mother’s carefree smile, the sparkle in her eyes caught by the camera as she holds her little boy.
“Beautiful,” you murmur, taking another moment to look at her before shifting focus to the four-year-old version of the man sitting in front of you. Rosy cheeks, smiling up at his Mama with his shiny milk teeth. He takes your breath away.
“Eddie, you little cherub!”
“Butter wouldn’t melt, huh?”
He smiles, pushing down that heart-aching feeling he still gets when he thinks of her. More than once since meeting you, Eddie had wished he could tell his Mom all about you, gush and let her tease him a little about having a crush. Wayne, as always, had picked up the slack.
By dessert, you have promised him some wildflower seeds for bee-obsessed Fae, and Eddie’s been holding your hand since you passed his phone back. Your face hurts from smiling as you share horchata crème brûlée and sugar-dusted churros with hot chocolate sauce, even though your stomach is full and your skirt feels tighter than it had earlier.
Eddie had switched to soda halfway through the meal so he could get you both back to Hawkins safely, but he feels more love-drunk than any buzz from beer could give him. His cheeks have that same rosy hue as the picture he showed you.
Your attention is pulled to the cinnamon sugar caught on his lower lip line. It has evaded the swipe of his tongue, chasing the taste of sweet and rich desserts.
“Do I have something on my face, sweetheart?” he asks, catching your gaze fall to his mouth for the fifth time.
“Yeah, you have a little…” Tapping your own lip, you watch a flicker of amusement cross his face. “C’mere, I’ll get it.”
Your hand cups his cheek across the small table, reaching and leaning toward each other to meet in the middle. Your thumb grazes his lower lip, brushing away the sparkling spiced sugar, but neither of you move away. A second more purposeful slow drag of your thumb along Eddie’s lower lip sparks like a match; the hot flame is reflected in his eyes and catches on the embers of want that have settled low in his gut all evening, all week, longer.
“Got it,” you whisper, feeling the same heat.
“Thanks.”
Eddie’s voice is smokey and low, just loud enough for you to hear. He leans into your palm, presses his lips to your thumb. His eyes never leave yours.
Taking your hand as it falls away from his jaw, Eddie places another kiss on your knuckles and you can feel your heart hammering hard behind your ribs, hear it race in your ears. You are so focused on him that you barely register when he signals for the bill. He cannot see how your thighs squeeze together (not for the first time that night) beneath the table.
“So, did the taco and marg help?” he asks, leaning forward a little more.
Puzzled, too mesmerised with want to get it, it takes another little prompt before you can answer.
“Out there, you said you’d like me even more after a taco and a margarita…” Eddie’s smile is teasing in a fun way, wolfish and cool.
“Mmhm, the tacos were great. Best margarita I’ve had in years.” You mirror him, leaning in closer to say, “The company was my favourite part.”
Eddie laughs low in his throat, just for you to hear. “I thought so too. You’re somethin’ else.”
He is enamoured, nay entranced, by you as you hold his gaze, letting the fire burn between you for a moment until the server comes with the bill and card machine, asking if the food was okay, if you have had a good night.
Eddie takes charge of the bill as you hype up the margs, promise you will come back again. You don’t see the tip he left, but the look on your server's face and her smiley ‘thank you so much’ tells you all you need to know.
“Ready to head out?” he asks, tucking his card away again.
As you stand to put your jackets back on (of course he holds your bomber for you to slip back into), you catch a table of younger women eyeing his broad shoulders and the shape of his arms, hear their whispers of ‘where do I find one like that’ and, ‘damn, he’s fine’.
He does not let on if he has heard but drops a kiss on your lips once you’re wrapped up for the cold weather again before getting into his own leather jacket. Once his curls are freed from his collar, he pats down the pockets for his keys, wallet and phone before reaching for your hand.
You nab two lollipops from the hostess station, one each (and you don’t have to share them with the girls or worry about hard candy and their teeth), and step back out into the cool night air.
“So we have a choice to make.”
When you look up at Eddie, he has a faux-serious look on his face, and you can see the vapour of his breath in the air.
“My place or yours?”
You catch him, not for the first time, off guard, and he cracks out a delighted little laugh.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to check out the arcade bar down the street or call it a night, but I do like how you think, sweetheart.”
Full. Body. Cringe.
“Oh…my god. Wait there for a sec, I’m going to walk in traffic.”
Eddie drags you back by your waist as you pretend to make for the quiet main road. “Nope, no way,” he laughs, winding his arms around you to lock you safely against his chest. Your arms wrap around his middle, locking him against you for warmth and just because you can.
You can still catch his aftershave beneath the lingering scent of warm spices as your cheek rests against his strong chest.
“I thought that’s what you were going to ask,” you murmur, peering up at him.
“I was; you just got there first.” Eddie smiles, feeling the gentle stroke of your fingertips on the small of his back. “Either way, mine or yours, now or later, if it’s what you want, baby, I’m not ready to say goodnight yet.”
He kisses your forehead, soothing your racing mind.
“I do. I’ve been thinking about it,” you whisper. “You know I have, Ed.”
Some of your texts and late-night phone calls had toed that line, barely keeping a lid on your composure and need at the sound of his voice, but each time, you or Eddie had been interrupted by one of the girls about a bad dream or a glass of water.
“I know, baby. I know, me too.” His fingers drift beneath your chin, tilting your face up for a single searing kiss.
“S’still early. We have plenty of time, no rush,” he murmurs, still in kissing distance. “Will we check out the arcade for a little bit? See if you can beat me on Mortal Kombat?”
You pull back a little, raising your brows at him in a way that makes his jeans a little bit tighter, “Oh, I know I can beat you on Mortal Kombat.”
Eddie scoffs, smiles that wolfish way you like. “You have no idea who you’re talking to. Palace Arcade’s reigning Mortal Kombat II champ two years running. You’re going down”
“Only two?”
For all your fighting talk, your arms are still wound around each other’s bodies. Instead of marching each other right to the arcade, you savour the physical closeness you have both craved and smile against each other's lips as you trade kisses and sass-filled barbs back and forth.
A sharp breeze from the east is what separates and sends you toward the neon sign for Token across the quiet street, seeking warmth and a definitive answer to who is the supreme of vintage arcade games.
You pay for the first two drinks and your play cards - two palatable low-alcohol beers and plenty of game credit to thoroughly kick Munson’s ass at every game in the place, including Dance Dance Revolution. Eddie picks air hockey to warm you both up; despite your shared lack of athleticism, you both show off your parental reflexes honed over years of catching sippy cups before they fall and protecting little heads en route to something that will leave a bump or bruise. He beats you by two points, tries not to be too smug about it.
As you wait for Mortal Kombat to free up, you take turns on Pac-Man and savour the feeling of Eddie’s arm around your shoulders, murmuring directions and trying to steer you into the path of a bright blue ghost. His breath tickles your neck and the weight of his hand on your hip feels like it belongs there. You give as good as you get when it’s his turn, skimming your fingertips along the back waistband of his jeans before they tip-toe into his pocket. Eddie forgets about swallowing up the flashing yellow dots in favour of stealing a kiss that leaves you breathless, leaving Pac-Man himself to be swarmed by the colourful Ghost Gang.
When it’s your turn again, Eddie ups the ante on distracting you now that the dam has broken. Warm breath and spiced praise whispered against your neck, ‘That’s it, good girl’ drag your mind into the gutter and soaks the gusset of your date-appropriate panties. Pressed close behind you, one hand on your hip and the other on the machine, the solid weight of him is the only thing stopping you from melting into a puddle at his feet.
Your fairly public foreplay ebbs and flows as you move through the games, shelved in favour of playful trash-talk during two-player Mario Kart and Crazy Taxi, back on again when you find the Addams Family pinball machine, distracting whispers and wandering hands, lingering touches. Everyone else is too distracted by flashing lights and having their own competitive fun to notice or care.
It’s not all flirtation (but it mostly is); there are sweet moments too and this feels so much more than a first date. You agree on the fact that Gomez and Morticia are relationship goals, and when Eddie spots a Dungeons & Dragons: Tower of Doom game you are flooded with cuteness aggression at his excited little gasp and boyish smile.
“I’ve only seen one of these once before. I can’t believe they have it,” he says, his body fizzing with excitement.
“You wanna play it? They might be done soon..?”
Eddie eyes up the three players holding court at the machine, deep in gameplay. It makes him feel fond, reminds him to arrange something with the Hellfire guys sometime soon.
“They’re in it for the long haul, I think. Anyway, I’ll be here all night if I start,” he says, shrugging. “I didn’t know they had this. Fuckin’ cool.”
“Well, if they move off you can show me, yeah?” His smile widens and he is barely holding on to reality, utter disbelief that you’re real and you care about his interests.
Eddie lifts his phone out of his pocket and aims to snap a picture to send to the guys.
”Hey. Stand in,” you insist. “Show off with your bounty.”
He brushes aside the whisper of embarrassment and hands over his phone. You snap a few pictures of him, beer in one hand and the other firing the devil horns, he sticks his tongue out for one. You catch another of him smiling wide (more at you than posing for the picture).
“Much cuter than a guy holding a fish he just caught,” you tease.
“Me? Cute. Psh, get outta here.”
He thumbs through the photos, struck with some sort of nostalgia at how he can see more of his younger self after an evening with you than he has in a long time, despite the silver strands in his hair and his stubble and the lines around his eyes. He vows to send the pictures into the group chat tomorrow and tucks it away again so his attention is fully on you again.
Pulling you closer so he can kiss you, Eddie feels a little giddy about how easily these moments of affection have blossomed between you over the last few hours.
“Not as cute as you.” He does one more kiss on your nose.
“Hey. Let me compliment you, Eddie.”
He looks into your eyes, guided by your gentle fingers on his cheek.
“I mean it. I know it’s hard to, but I think you’re cute.” You can see him fighting a scoff, an eye roll, so you pinch his chin gently and wobble his head. “I can keep going. You’re fucking hot, and you’re funny and you’re so kind. I don’t know how you’re real.”
He cracks a smile, forces himself not to duck his head even though his shoes seem pretty interesting. He’s not used to this, having someone be sweet to him like you are, like you have been since you met.
“I’ll try to take the compliments, thank you,” he murmurs, melting a little when you smile, proud of him and a little proud of yourself too. “I promise I’m real.”
“Lucky me.”
You reward him, kissing him straight on the lips as positive reinforcement.
“Now I’m going to kick your cute ass at Mortal Kombat. It’s finally free.”
If you weren’t so down bad for him, Eddie’s delighted victory over you might be a turn-off.
Alas, you have a thing for nerds.
Back out on the street almost an hour later, he bounces on his feet and mimes poor imitations of the moves he had doled out as Raiden, beating you (as Kitana) fair and square.
Even when he’s playfully rubbing your face in it, promising he will go easier on you next time, you feel so far gone on him that it makes you ache. You have been carrying that pleasant tenderness in your chest and between your thighs all damn night.
Eddie’s glee is contagious, and you find yourself almost doubled over laughing at his antics as you head for the car. The cool air stings your too-warm cheeks as you walk hand-in-hand, your shared laughter ringing out and pulling attention from other pairs and groups bar-hopping and heading home for the night. The buzz from the cocktails has long passed, and yet you still feel a dizzying high from Eddie’s company.
Closer to the car, Eddie quietens down a little and squeezes your hand. “Tonight’s been great,” he says, smiling softly.
“I thought so too. You’re one hell of a date, Eddie. I’m glad we did this.”
Your meandering pace slows as you near the truck, coming to a stop around the passenger side.
“Me too, sweetheart.” Eddie ducks his gaze for a moment before looking back at you, you can feel his warmth and sincerity. “I meant what I said on New Year, when I called. I really want to keep seeing you this year. You… I really like you, and I don’t want to complicate what the girls have, but I want to try this with you. We can take it slow as you like.”
There is an edge of nervousness that you have not seen much of all night, glimpses here and there swiftly covered by a joke or flirtation. But under the silvery moon, Eddie’s showing you his heart.
Your own heart beats hard and fast in your chest, endeared and excited by him, by the future.
“I meant it too, Ed. I’d like that. I like you.”
His hands settle on your waist, and you instinctively drape your arms around his leather-clad shoulders.
“So I can take you out again sometime?”
“Mhm. You better.”
He smiles so widely that it’s almost impossible to kiss you like he wants to, messier and less coordinated but full of want and elation.
“M’a lucky guy,” he whispers.
The solid body of the truck is cool against your back, a stinging contrast to Eddie’s warm chest as you crowd up close to each other. His tongue swipes against the plush of your lower lip, asking for permission already granted. The quiet moan that sticks in his throat as your tongues brush together makes you throb with want. Between the truck and the breadth of his strong shoulders, you are a willing prisoner to lust and desire, wanting to touch and be touched.
Your brain feels scrambled, loose wires on the fritz, as you make out and touch each other like two teens on borrowed time. Adults on borrowed time, real life and its joys and mundanity looming again.
“Your place.”
Whispering breathlessly against his kiss-abused mouth, Eddie hums a quiet affirmative and can’t resist pulling your hips against his one more time before breaking the kiss.
“Fuck. Yeah, yeah. Anything you want.”
He fumbles for his keys as your fingers trail down his shoulders, over his chest and down down down to his belt.
“Anything?”
Eddie nods, eyes fluttering shut as you cup him through his jeans.
“Anything. Everything.”
He manages to unlock the car, a feat of determination and multitasking as you play with him.
“I knew you were trouble.”
Even as he playfully chastises you, his hips push forward in an involuntary roll seeking more more more of your warm, teasing touches.
You kiss his lower lip, trail your mouth down the dark grown-out stubble on his jaw. “You like it.”
You don’t see how his eyes almost cross when you kiss his neck, graze your teeth along the tendon and soothe the sting with your sweet tongue.
“Fuck, I do.”
It is only when you hear other voices drifting through the almost empty lot that you manage to tear yourself away from each other, your hands above the belt again. Eddie presses one last firm kiss to your mouth, like a promise; ‘this isn’t over and you’re so in for it’ without saying a word. He opens the car door, a little less gentlemanly about where he lets his hands wander as he helps you into the passenger seat this time.
You feel a little giddy as you catch him adjusting himself as he rounds the hood, catching your eye through the windshield.
“Minx,” he murmurs as he slips into the seat.
If you both did not have so much to lose, it would be a no-brainer to pull over to some shady lay-by and pick up where you had left off. But Eddie’s fresh bedsheets and the plum lace beneath your clothes deserve to be enjoyed.
At red lights, he leans over to steal a kiss, leaving you wanting more when it turns green. You try to get your own back, tracing the inner seam of his jeans with painted fingernails until he warns you to behave yourself. The denim feels too tight and tighter still when he catches the way you squeeze your thighs together at his firm words.
“Knew you were a real temptress beneath the flowers and sunshine.”
He had said that one night on the phone, and the memory of his velvety voice in your ear had been stashed away in your bedside drawer for lonely nights.
Now you had the real thing again, and you were going to savour it.
You had both checked your phones before leaving the arcade, making sure there were no calls or texts missed from Wayne or Claudia. No emergencies; you have until morning to enjoy each other.
It’s late, but not quite midnight, when he parks in his driveway on Birch Avenue. If any of his neighbours are up late enough to peer out of their curtains to see you hot-foot it hand in hand into the house, you don’t notice, nor do you care.
Eddie makes light work of the lock, clinging on to his composure until he can close and lock it behind you again, encasing you both in the bubble of his cosy home all over again. Something like relief floods your body as you take in the familiar sight of Eddie and Fae’s shoes by the door, the lived-in loveliness of their house.
And Eddie feels it too, he likes how you look in the low light of his front hallway - a little less put together than you had been when you left your house, perfectly unwound by the fun and flirtation of your evening together.
There is this pregnant pause, a bubble of easy silence as you both just take it all in. When you catch Eddie’s eye, catch him looking, you smile and pull him into you again as you rest back against the door.
Your lips meet in a slow kiss, much less frantic and boiling hot than before, and yet the press of Eddie’s leg between your thighs, bunching up your skirt, stokes the fire burning inside you. Like a slow match strike, you drag your hips and savour the pleasurable friction.
Eddie takes advantage of your slackened jaw and slides his tongue against yours, swallowing down the sweet noises you can’t keep a hold of as you pull him tighter against you.
His jacket is the first thing to go, pushed off his shoulders and down onto the floor. Your scarf follows, then your own jacket as you move blindly, as one, toward the stairs.
After almost falling on his ass at the first step, Eddie breaks the kiss to lead you up to his room. You could probably find your way, but keep holding his hand as he leads you into the lamp-lit haven of his bedroom.
His sheets are deep green this time; they look brand new and so soft. Before you can inspect them any further, Eddie’s hands are back on your hips.
“Y’okay?”
“Never better.”
Another smiling sweet kiss moves you closer to the bed. It yields beneath his weight and yours as you straddle his lap; all decorum about keeping your skirt unbunched and tidy has long gone. Wide ringed hands take advantage of the gathered-up fabric, encouraging the push-and-pull friction you both crave.
You feel him, solid and hot and straining against his denims. Since your hands wandered earlier in the night, you knew you wanted him in your mouth and nothing could change your mind.
Eddie chases your mouth when you pull back; his eyelids are heavy, lips wet and red. You watch his brows pinch as you get a hand on him again, see his jaw slacken and feel as his legs widen to give you all the space you need.
You find that spot on his neck again, the little nook that made him go almost crossed-eyed earlier, and soak in the breathy ‘fuck’ and the pulse and kick beneath your stroking fingers. Kissing lower, you pull gently at the neck of his fine knit charcoal sweater so you can nip Eddie’s collarbone, breathing in the musk of his cologne and the barely-there metallic tint of the chains around his neck.
There’s a gorgeous pink hue across his cheeks and nose when you look up at him again, a dopey smile that makes you feel fond and urges you to kiss him again. Just one and you move away, leaving him pouting, wanting more, feeling greedy. With his hand on himself, missing your touch, he can’t look away as you rid yourself of the skirt and top. The shape of you in your bra and tights and boots makes him feel crazy.
“Look at you. Pretty girl.”
He spies the shape and shadow of matching plum lace beneath your tights as the boots come off. You’re not even trying to be sexy, not trying to tease him as you remove each layer, but he feels wild with desire anyway.
Eddie is back on you once your tights have been dropped onto the pile of discarded clothes, his hands roaming over your hips and midriff, smearing wet kisses to your shoulders and chest. You feel his appreciation for the Third Love set (that had been long relegated to the back of your drawer) in the intensity of his gaze and the reverence of his touches.
If you’re brain could manage a coherent thought that’s not Eddie Eddie Eddie, you might realise that no one has ever desired you like this man. He’s not shy, nor is he coy or cocky about how he wants you; he just does.
There are more messy kisses as you work his belt and jeans open, broken only when Eddie whips his sweater off. You feel an almost Pavlovian throb between your thighs at the metallic clinks of buckle and button. In his black tank top and open jeans, low on his hips, with nothing to hide his straining briefs and bulked-up arms, your mouth waters.
You get stuck on his arms for a moment, the uncovered ink and firm muscles from his work hefting tyres and car parts all day. Giving in to impulse, you press wet kisses along the ‘one ring’ tattoo that wraps around his bicep and the cobweb that caps off his shoulder.
“You’re unreal,” he whispers, bringing your mouths together again and getting his itchy hands back on you, the squish of your hips and the butter-soft lace.
“Take your pants off.”
You smile against his mouth when he moans, swearing quietly that you’re definitely trying to kill him.
“No, I just want to get my mouth on you,” you promise, finger-tipping along the band of his underwear.
“Jesus, that mouth.”
His smile is sunshine, cheeks dimpled and rosy as he pinches your face so your lips pucker for his kisses.
You won’t complain; kissing him has quickly become a top-five favourite thing to do, and you want as many as possible before you must part ways and go back to real life again in the morning.
“Off. Please.”
Eddie decides he might, for the first time in his life, start doing as he’s told - well, as long as you’re the one telling him. You, with your kiss-swollen lips and siren-eyes. He would do whatever you asked, and not simply because your hand is holding his cock.
His jeans come off, caught briefly by his still-on boots - that made you both laugh until you knelt between his legs to help untie his boots and free his ankles of tangled denim.
He’s half expecting you to come back up to him, even though you look so pretty between his thighs. Like a flower or a jewel or something else poetically beautiful and precious in between his hairy thighs, doodled in dark ink. Less poetically, he thinks you’re hotter than any adult film or fantasy he could come up with, even on his loneliest nights.
“You don’t have to…”
He wants you to (of course he wants you to) but doesn’t want you to feel like you owe him anything because he ate you out last time. Twice.
“I know. I wouldn’t if I didn’t want to, Ed. Been thinking about it.”
And you had been. More than you thought possible, more than you ever had with any other man you had been with before.
Your cheeks are warm at your own admission, and Eddie’s are pink to match. Inside his head, he is whooping and cheering himself on. Being wanted, craved like this, is alien to him and he almost does not know what to do with himself.
“Can you pinch me real quick? I think I’m in some sorta dream or something.”
A quick graze of teeth against his inner thigh confirms that he is, in fact, awake and alive, and you are real and past ready to get your mouth on him. He is almost embarrassed by the noise that escapes his mouth - part moan, part hiss, part giggle - but right now he is simply too turned on to give a shit about playing it cool.
Not trying to stall, just to be considerate, Eddie passes you one of the extra pillows on his bed for your knees and gives you one more kiss before letting you do, at last, what you want to him.
In your cosy space between his knees, you take a moment to marvel at the thick bulge trapped in black boxer briefs. You know it’s pretty, remember the way it felt splitting you open when he pushed slowly inside. Butterfly-gentle kisses weave your path up to the waistband and along the dark happy trail that guides you to your prize; the slight pudge to his belly makes your mouth water. You catch the hitch in Eddie’s breath when your nails bite briefly into the soft parts around his hips, dragging the briefs down out of sight and mind.
Just as nice as you remembered, the comedian in your brain wonders if there’s a lipstick to match the warm pink tip. If Eddie could muster the courage to look at you (he will, he just needs a sec), he might have caught the way you smiled at your own private joke. Instead, he feels your warm fingers and that smiling mouth against him before your tongue swirls just right.
He’s done for.
You can’t deny how that wrecked sound from him makes you throb between your legs. It only spurs you on though, taking him in your mouth. Hot and heavy and thick enough to make you slow down, not choke yourself too soon, you hold no regret for your fixated thoughts this week.
Eddie feels like a dumb seventeen-year-old again, not believing his luck that a pretty girl wants to do this with him and too horny-dumb to hold back his little noises or run his mouth.
“Oh fuck, yes.” His voice is wrecked-raspy; he grabs at the duvet, white-knuckled and trying his best to keep his hips still for you.
When he feels strong enough, brave enough, to look at you (fairly confident he won’t expire or embarrass himself), he is sure that you’re straight out of a fantasy or a dream. The slow and determined bob of your head and smudged mascara beneath your eyes, the stretch of him beneath your cheek, and your body wrapped in that maddeningly perfect plum lace.
When you look up at him, teetering on that line of too much, too deep, he’s already looking at you. Eddie looks utterly fucked; pink cheeks and flushed chest, wild hair and lips almost bruised from his own teeth.
You’re fairly sure that it is your own involuntary moan that makes him gasp ‘fuck!’ in that wrecked way. Eddie forgets about keeping his hips still, thrusting forward to chase pleasure, enough to make you choke a little bit.
His fucked-out brain is a beat behind as you cough, spluttering as you pull back to catch your breath.
“Shit, sorry. Sorry.”
Even when you promise him it’s fine, Eddie is reverent about how he wipes your tears.
You silence him with a quick kiss, covering his hands on your hot, damp cheeks as he holds you like a treasure.
“Ed, it’s fine.” You kiss him one more time, slower. “It’s fine.”
Before you can get back to it, Eddie grabs a kiss of his own, slow and long, and drops his head against yours.
“Sorry.”
“Stop apologising.”
Both smiling again, you are certain that a man has never been so deserving of having his soul sucked out through his dick.
You would be honoured to be the one to do it.
Eddie catches the way your hips drag slightly against the pillow and almost bites through his lip. A little pressure takes the edge off, just right but not enough all at the same time; waiting can make it more fun. Every moment is fun with Eddie.
Before taking him in your mouth again, you coax his fingers away from nearly ripping the duvet and bring your joined hands to rest on his thigh. He is almost distracted by the sweetness of it until he feels your mouth again, all thoughts overridden by the velvety warmth of your tongue.
His murmured praise for you, the breathy little noises he cannot keep behind his lips, only spurs you on more. They turn you on more too.
When you have found the rhythm again, using your tongue and that sweet suction to make his eyes roll back, you lift your joined hands and guide him to hold your head.
“Fuuuck,” he breathes, husky and low.
He’s not pushy about it, does not change up anything you’re doing, but you both lean into that extra layer of trust that has opened up between you. If anything, he is even more giving with his praise for you, how good you’re making him feel and how pretty you look for him.
Eddie loves how he can feel that fluttering feeling when he tips against your throat, the snug heat of it; he soaks up the wet wrecked sounds and the sparkling tears on your cheeks until he feels too close too quickly.
“C’mere. Come up here to me.” His voice is just short of pleading; he needs to get his hands back on you, wants to make you feel good too.
“Everything okay?” you ask, hands on his thighs. The rough edge to your voice makes him tingle.
“Fuckin’ peachy. S’just…been awhile. Didn’t want to come yet.”
Kitten licking the tip again, a wet kiss to his belly, you feel a little devious. “Oh, good.”
Perched back on the bed and back in his lap, you cannot get enough of each other. Eddie is just about careful enough not to rip your lace when he gets his mouth on your chest, wet kisses and nipping teeth. The sound of your voice bouncing on the bedroom walls when he pushes your panties to the side to touch you bursts with relief, with desire for more. You feel his hardness throb against you at the sound of his name on your lips.
As quick and careful as you can manage, Eddie lays you out on his deep green bedsheets. He takes a mental snapshot of you, bra askew and eyes heavy-lidded, before resuming his kissing and touching.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs against your breast, “So fucking pretty.”
“Me or my tits?” You stroke your fingers through Eddie’s hair, smiling dreamily when he looks up at you.
“Both.”
He very pointedly kisses each one before nuzzling the warm space between, feeling your heart thumping beneath his lips. His mouth leaves wet little smooch-marks behind as he makes his way up to your lips again, sharing a few more smiling kisses as he reaches around on his bedside table for something to keep his hair out of his face.
You are painfully endeared by the triumphant little noise he makes when he finds it, and kiss him a little more about it, distracting his Boy Brain from the task at hand. Even though you are soaked for him, even though he is borderline painfully hard for you, there is this moment of total fondness for each other. Curtained in by dark curls, you are besotted by his pink glow and dimples.
Eddie shifts to kneel between your legs, winking at you before he flips his head back to gather and tie his hair up in an annoyingly perfect topknot. You are mesmerised by the flex and stretch of his arms, the light and shadow of his body in the golden lamplight. You wonder about summer, whether Eddie might wear his work coveralls tied at the waist to beat the heat of the shop. You hope so, and you can’t wait to see it; it makes your tummy flutter in a whole new way.
The drag of thick thigh muscle against your core brings you back to the here and now with the man in your daydreams. You chase the feeling, jaw slackened by how badly you need him to touch you.
Eddie can see it, and he likes how it looks on you. He wants to give you whatever you desire, everything you deserve.
His hands are not baby-soft; they are work-worn and guitar-string-scarred, but they are so gentle when he rolls your underwear down. They land somewhere amongst the rest of his and her's discarded clothes. Your bra is next, the last to go, forgotten until morning.
He looks perfect, his head framed by your thighs, cheek resting against the soft fat and muscle. He looks at home there, watching transfixed at how you open up for those gentle hands, hearing the pretty sounds you make for him. His stubble is the right side of rough as he murmurs to you.
“All this for me?” Eddie asks, watching for your reaction as his thumb glides over your swollen clit.
Even when your hips buck toward his touch, when your legs tremble as he dips the tip of his finger into you. It is all just enough for you to forget how to speak, play with his food while he’s waiting for an answer.
Another featherlight swipe makes you gasp, wringing out a whine he wants to record and listen to on a loop.
“Answer me, baby, please. Is this all mine?” he whispers.
Your answering nod is a weak thrash of your head; you are pinned under his gaze like a specimen behind glass, trapped in syrupy amber.
“Yeah. Please, Eddie.”
His answer smile is proud and lazy and lovely, all for you.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Thank you.”
You feel fit to implode, so tightly wound with need, and Eddie is about to unravel you - the anticipation is nearly too much.
“Lucky me.”
And then he is almost silent, and any noises he does make are drowned out by you.
His hands might be gentle, but his tongue is silk-soft and sure as he ice-cream-licks his way into you. As much as you had been thinking about getting your mouth on Eddie, his mind had wandered back to that morning between your legs more times than he could count. Now he is back there, a heavenly place, he has no ambition to leave despite how his hips press against the bed to seek relief. Right now, the sweet taste and the sweet sounds you make are enough.
One leg over his shoulder, the other splayed out to the side like a ragdoll, Eddie has you just how he wants you: open and wantonly taking all of the pleasure and good things you deserve. He takes his time with you, watches what you like, what makes you throb and keen and gush. He takes his work seriously.
His mouth is firm, wet, determined, unravelling you from the very core. If your brain was not so blissed-out, you might realise that you have never been so at ease and your thoughts so syrupy-slow. There’s a fleeting idea that he might be some kind of sex magician - it makes you smile lazily at the ceiling - but you are pulled out of your head by the careful stretch and push of two fingers and his honeyed tongue.
Between your thighs with the weight of your hand on his head, his mouth on your cunt, Eddie is fairly certain he could die happy here. He likes his life, loves it, but should an asteroid hit, he would feel fairly content with his life if these were his final moments. The zing of pleasure down his spine when you tug his curls makes him moan against you, slackening his aching jaw.
He can tell by the slushy-wet sound, the heightened pitch of your voice, that you’re coming close to your high. With a slight bend and press, a wet suck around your clit, you feel tears spill over as your orgasm blooms, his name on your lips.
It feels like you are floating, flying in free-fall with your back bowed in a wild arch from the intensity of it all.
Eddie thinks he might come on his nice new sheets at the sight of you, utterly consumed by pleasure, thighs like a vice around his head. Instead, he slows it all down; stills his fingers, but keeps them inside, and rests his cheek against the dough of your thigh, sucking ceased in place of lazy kisses as he watches your comedown.
“You still with me, sweetheart?”
You nod, hum a weak ‘mmhmn’ as your legs and tummy twitch with involuntary aftershocks of such an intense orgasm.
“Think I died.”
Eddie’s laugh is low, a little dirty, and you can feel his hot breath against your hip.
“Sorry.”
He’s not sorry.
You manage a lazy laugh, slow-blinking your eyes open as you reach out to him.
“C’mere.”
The long, warm line of Eddie slots against you, moulding himself against your ragdoll body. He kisses your shoulder, your neck, lets you guide him in for a slow kiss that is little more than two lazy mouths smiling against each other.
He is haloed by lamplight, curls spilling from his topknot. Eddie is so pretty, it makes your heart thud in a funny way.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
His dry fingers are gentle as they swipe away your tears, smudging away the spilled mascara before drawing a line up your nose with his and back down again for one more kiss.
“You’re a sex wizard.”
The words have left your lips and Eddie’s shaking with giddy laughter before you realise you have said them, orgasm-drunk and loose-lipped.
“You think so?” he wonders aloud, while inside his head he is wondering if you might want a spring wedding.
Cupping his cheek, you thumb over his pretty dimple. “Yeah.”
His eyes are sparkling, boyish and bright. “Magic mouth,” you tease.
Because he’s a menace, Eddie nips at you playfully and brings that magic mouth against yours for a kiss.
“You sure that orgasm didn’t knock a screw loose, sweetheart?”
He laughs when you shake your head, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
“Been called a lot of names, but Magic Mouth Munson sounds good to me.”
Eddie’s voice his muffled against your neck, playful as he seeks out the scent of you beyond your perfume and shampoo.
“Who’s calling you names? Lemme at ‘em.”
Your voice has a gorgeous, giggly timbre that he wants to hear every day; he has heard most evenings when you’re a few miles apart, decompressing and downloading about your days, but it’s better in person.
Before Eddie can come back with something playful, his thoughts are derailed when you wrap your fingers around the length of him again.
“You could do damage with this thing, could poke someone’s eye out.”
“Yeah? Wanna do something about that?”
He’s impressed at how quickly he could come back with something quippy, or anything coherent at all, what with how you are stroking him long and slow, thumb tracing that thick vein.
You can hear the slight shake in his playful patter when you drag your fingers lower around the base. Another pretty noise spills from his lips when you roll his balls in your hand, feeling a little bad for neglecting them when they are so full and heavy.
“I really do,” you murmur, turning your head. The closeness is enough to coax him away from your neck for a kiss.
You can taste how much he wants you on his tongue; clarity comes slowly as you come back around from coming so intensely.
The shiny foil packet winks at you from the bedside table, pulled to the front while Eddie was rooting for a scrunchie. When you reach for it, he his treated to a face full of boob, and considers his untimely death again.
The huffing breath of his laugh against your chest tickles as much as it warms your heart. This is all so easy, so fun. You wish you had known him when you were younger, wish you had known how fun sex could be instead of something daunting. But you have tonight, and tomorrow morning too. He has this beautiful, half-dazed smile that makes your tummy twist and your heart thud faster.
Eddie gazes up at you, a nude vision sitting mermaid style on his bed. The condom in your hand glints like a jewel. He nods, leaning up on his elbows and stifling his dad-grunt at the effort of hauling himself to sit up next to you.
He used to dig at Wayne for those old man noises, how he pays the price.
“Damn, you’re perfect.”
Kissing again, Eddie cups your face like you are a treasure. That’s how he sees you, a pretty bloom amongst the weeds. You can feel it in his touch, how he kisses you, covets you. It feels like your world is tilting, making you dizzy. You both said you could take this slow, but you feel addicted to him already.
“How’d’you wanna do this?” he whispers, dipping his fingers back into the well of your body, working you up again.
Your breath hitches, thighs twitch to open yourself for him. Brain still soft scrambled, you don’t know what you want more; to have him fuck you into the mattress, hard and dirty from behind, or soft and slow and deep. You want it all, and all you can think about his how good his fingers feel, how good and wanted you have felt all night with him. It’s almost too much; you want it all, and you have so little time and…
“Hey, pretty thing.”
Behind the tendrils of hair that have fallen around his face, you see the creased pull of his brows and the shade of concern in his eyes. When he says your name, it sounds reverent, like a prayer.
“Where’d you go?”
Eddie searches for some hint on how he fucked up, tilts your ducked head up so he can see you fully.
Your sad smile makes his heart hurt.
“Talk to me. We can stop. It’s okay.”
The shift to pained horror at the suggestion startles him, and he’s relieved and confused all at the same time.
“Don’t want to stop, I promise.” You take a shaky breath and lean into his hand. “Just… I want you so bad, and I know we only have a little time together…”
Eddie shifts closer, winds his arms around you and holds you. Just holds you, his lips pressed to your head in a fierce kiss.
He feels relieved and heart-sore all at the same time. The truth that you could not just drop your normal lives and responsibilities to see each other was like a shadowy figure that had loomed in the corner, so easily ignored when you were lost in each other’s eyes or flirting hard over pinball, but always there.
“I know, baby,” he murmurs, smoothing one hand along your spine in soothing swathes of affection. “We still have time. And when we have to go back to real life, I wanna make time for you.”
You hug him tighter, eyes closed as you nod against his shoulder. “Want that too.”
Pulling back enough so you can look at him, reassure him with a kiss, you cover his hand on your cheek and let your foreheads rest together for a few moments.
A small voice in your head is screeching ‘too much, too fast’ but the all-over calm you feel with Eddie sweeps it away like a sure and steady tide.
“I get a little overwhelmed sometimes,” you whisper, saying what he already knows, what he has already seen.
“That’s okay,” he replies, simply getting it. You think this man has seen it all; he’s unfazed and capable, but you know by the way he squeezes you, a reassuring touch, that he gives a shit.
You kiss him again, the warm glow of want still burns, and even though his hardness has faltered out of worry, the feel of your body and the lick of your tongue against his slowly and surely makes the flames rise again.
It is a slow tumble back onto the sheets and pillows, hands gripping and groping with confidence and care, and the firm weight of his thigh between yours right where you like it. You feel his hardness, the leaking tip and hot throb, press against you and there is a blind and giggly reach-around for the lost condom.
Slow. Deep. You want to see him. There is time for it all, but right now you have your answer.
He looks up at you, in awe of you. Eddie feels like so much has grown between you over just a few hours - somehow still capable of coherent thought as he watches you rip the condom open and straddle his thighs.
The wait was worth it.
You take your time, slowly sinking yourself down and savouring the stretch of him inside you.
Eyes flutter, jaws slacken, brows pinch.
“Fuck.”
Said at the same time, breathy voices overlapping, he can feel a delicious pulse when you laugh.
“Jesus, fuck. Wait a sec before you move,” he begs, his hands resting heavy on your thighs as he gathers himself. He circles his thumbs along the silvery stretchmarks and whispers of cellulite, soothing himself and you.
It only makes you hotter for him, fonder too.
“You feel so fucking good, baby.”
“You feel really big. Almost forgot.”
Eddie swears at the ceiling, eyes scrunched shut as you cover his hands on your legs. He can’t look at that blissful smile too long, like looking at the sun.
“You’re a fuckin’ vixen.”
It’s fun to mess with him, bringing back the playfulness alongside that tender vulnerability; it distracts you both from how serious you both feel about each other, how scared you both are inside about fucking this up when you could have been fucking each other all night.
Slowly, you lift and roll your hips, taking a moment to find what feels right for you both. Eddie watches you move atop him, that sensuous raise and roll of your body, the way your chest bounces and the ripple in your thighs when he fucks his hips up into you.
“Gimme a kiss,” he begs, a vision atop the deep green sheets with his crown of curls.
When you pitch forward, arms resting either side of his head, Eddie bends his knees and keeps himself snug inside of you as you moan against his lips. Wide hands come to rest on your ass, squeezing and jiggling to be playful and teasing. The stretch of him inside you, the way he glances against that spot inside you that is a haresbreath away from perfect has you wound tight again. So close to just right, but not quite. Your burning thighs are grateful for a break.
“I can help, baby,” he murmurs against your chin before catching your mouth in another messy kiss. “Please? Let me make you feel good.”
You feel empty when he slips out, but Eddie soothes your pouting lips with more kisses as you take his place on the bed.
“That’s it, my princess. Huh? You like being my princess?” he asks, crowding between your thighs to line himself up to push in.
He teases you, wrapped tip kissing your swollen clit until you answer him, and then rewards you with a slow push to the hilt that makes you howl.
“Oh fuh-fuck,” a strangled moan breaks from your throat and bounces around the room.
Eddie’s eyes fall closed, rocking himself into you steadily with one hand behind your knee to keep you spread open for him. He sneaks a glance at where your joined, the stretch and suck of your body around him, pulling him in.
“That’s it, baby,” he murmurs, bracing himself on the mattress so he can kiss you again. “That’s my girl.”
The stretch feels the right side of too much as he rocks forward, finding a steady pace to make you both moan. Eddie lifts up a little, pressing your thigh back closer to your chest to open you up a little more, so he can fuck a little deeper and make sure you keep making those pretty noises.
You can see a dewy sheen to his skin as he pounds into you; this position works for him as much as it does for you. It’s not simply from fucking you into the mattress, rendering you into little more than a puddle of pleasure, but he is working hard to not come early and disappoint you - no mean feat when you are the picture of fucked-out, back arched, tits bouncing steadily as you moan for him.
When he dips to kiss you, taste his name on your lips, you feel him dragging against that spot you couldn’t quite reach. Eddie feels the bite of your nails on his ass as you pull him into you, gasping at the pleasure-pain and the voractity of your ragged voice.
“Oh fuck - oh! More, Eddie. Fuck!” you wail, wild for him.
He kisses his name off of your lips, holding back some animalistic roar of his own as he pushes you over the edge and feels you gush and squeeze around him.
“Yes, baby,” he breathes, fucking you through it and kissing your flushed face as he teters on a knife edge of his own. “That’s my good girl.” The spill of tears on your cheeks makes his heart ache and his dick throb.
He slows to a stop, following your lead as you slowly float back to earth.
“There she is,” he whispers, smiling as he strokes the dampness away. “Hi, pretty. You alright?”
“Mm, just...” You close your eyes again, smiling dreamily about how good you feel, and give a lazy ‘okay’ sign with your fingers that makes him laugh. “Never better.”
Eddie is careful when he deposits your legs back on the bed, easing out just a little so he can sit back and gaze at you for a minute while you gather yourself.
“Stop staring,” you murmur, giggle-voiced and feeling shy.
“I like looking at you.” You hear his smile before you see it, peeking one eye open.
Eddie tilts his head like he is considering a work of art. “Gorgeous.”
“Yeah?” Your quiet voice is teasing, back to your minxy-self after your sojourn to the stars, courtesy of his Munson Magic.
“Yeah. Really gorgeous. Most beautiful I’ve ever seen.”
The warmth of his words and lazy drape of his body over yours, chest to chest so he can taste that lazy smile, is almost enough to overheat you.
“You okay to keep going?” he whispers, leaning his cheek against your hand.
“Yeah, m’good,” you promise, pressing a kiss to the dimple you are so enamored with.
He taps your thighs, strokes his fingers up and down and feels the goosebumps beneath them. “Like this, or do you wanna turn over?”
The overwhelm you felt earlier feels silly now, but you are too in the moment to let it take over again. He knows you like it from behind, remembers just how much you loved it the night you met.
“Mm, I’ll move. I feel like goo.”
“Sexy goo,” he purrs, swatting your hip playfully to make you giggle. “Very sexy goo.”
With his help, wide hands keeping you steady, you turn over and rest on your forearms, spreading your knees a little so he can admire the curve of your hips and the bow of your back.
“That okay?” you ask, sneaking a peek over your shoulder just as he rubs himself along your slit.
He can see your cheeky smile, barely concealed, but your eyes sparkle with mirth.
“Okay? Fuckin’ perfect.”
He bites his lip when you rock backward, seeking him out with a dreamy look in your eyes.
“Mm, put it i- ohh!”
Those dreamy eyes drift closed as he presses inside, fulfilling your wish and filling you up. There’s an extra little shove when he’s all the way in, making sure you know just how full you are before he finds his rhythm again, following the beat of slapped-together skin.
“Good? That feel better?”
He can feel you fluttering around him, he sees how you are gripping the pillow by your head and feels your hot slick drip down to his balls.
“So good,” you nod, rocking your hips in time with his. It is no put-on performance, he knows you are not simply inflating his ego with your praise. “Eddie, please. Harder.”
Heart aflutter, Eddie squeezes your waist and pulls you back onto him, harder and deeper like you wanted. “You got it, princess. I got ya.”
Head tipped back, jaw slack, Eddie almost misses when you snake a hand between your legs to touch yourself. The quick-circling tips of your fingers graze against him and he can hear your breathy little gasps against the sheets.
Your ass is sure to have the shape of his gripping fingers tomorrow, a visual reminder alongside that properly fucked feeling that will linger for a day or two. A babble-voiced chorus of ‘yes yes yes’ spills from your mouth as the knot of white-hot pleasure is pulled tighter and tighter with every stroke - your voice will be hoarse in the morning too, but you are too melted with pleasure to care.
All at once, you begin to fall apart and come hard as Eddie splits you open over and over and over. He watches you sob with pleasure into his pillow and feels his eyes roll back, his head following them as he swears up at the ceiling.
“Oh fuck, fuuuck,” he groans, barely clinging on to his composure as you fall apart for a third time. He keeps himself and check and slows enough to stay inside you as you slump further forward onto the sheets, bending forward to kiss along your shoulder and along your arm.
“Keep going,” you murmur, turning your head so he can press one of those wet kisses to your mouth. “Feel really good.”
You reach a hand out to the side, wrap your fingers around his wrists as he braces himself on top of you and starts thrusting again. Less coordinated now but it still feels amazing.
His breath huffs against your neck as you squeeze your walls around him, pulling more gorgeous groans and grunts from his mouth as he spills into you.
The weight of him along your back, both of you spent and sweaty and sated, feels perfect as you float on your shared high. Eddie gives himself a moment before kissing your shoulder again, easing himself up and out of you so he can deal with the condom.
You don’t see the proud little grin at his own reflection in the ensuite mirror, but you are wearing a dreamy smile when he comes back to lie with you and it makes his heart gallop.
Tangled together with your head on his chest, you listen to that thud thud thud that matches your own hammering heart.
“You okay?” he asks, nuzzling your head before crowning you with a kiss.
“Mmhm, more than okay. You okay?”
“Fuckin’ A, sweetheart.”
Your head tilts back and you pout for a kiss, which turns into slow, lazy kisses until the sweat on your skin makes you both shiver. Soon, you will move to the shower, sharing the hot water and kisses against the chilly tiles until your laughter rings against the walls and Eddie’s low dirty chuckle makes your tummy swoop. He will share his clothes with you, find something in his drawers for you to sleep in - a tshirt or a hoodie over the soft cotton undies rolled in your purse for tomorrow - and fetch two glasses of water before he holds you beneath the covers and you both fight to stay awake, keep talking.
Tomorrow will come too soon, but for now, you stay tangled together and savour every moment.
It is a little before eleven when you knock on Henderson’s front door and hear Claudia and Hazel’s voices coming down the hallway to let you in.
Hazel almost bowls you over with the force of her hug, squeezing her arms around you as tight as she can. You dot a halo of smooches along her forehead and tune into her excited chatter about her sleepover with Miss Claudia.
The older woman smiles at you both, you and your Mini Me, feeling fondness that makes her miss her son.
When the door is closed behind you to keep the cold out and the cats in, she makes some tea for you both as Hazel gives you the full rundown of how she showed Claudia Inside Out and that next time she sleeps over, they will watch the second one.
Around the cosy kitchen table, you sip your tea and ask Claudia about her springtime trip to Boston to see Dustin and watch how gentle Hazel is with the two ragdoll cats.
Claudia says your name gently, bringing you back from being so besotted with your little girl and wondering how Eddie’s morning with Fae is going.
“Sorry. What did you say, Claudia?” You shoot her an apologetic smile and sip your tea.
“I was just saying how amazing Hazel is. I say it every time, but she’s the sweetest girl.” She squeezes your arm gently. “And she’s really settled in. Told me all about her friends at school and her playdate last weekend. Fae Munson. Another sweetie pie.”
Your attempt to temper your expression leaves you with a tea-scaled tongue and warm cheeks.
“Yeah. Fae has made her feel so welcome. They’re in the same grade and dance class. I’m sure she told you all about it. Two peas in a pod.”
Claudia squeezes your arm again, smiles warmly. “I know her Grandpa Wayne a long time. And my Dusty is great friends with her Dad, Eddie. He’s a good kid.”
Caught off guard, you can only nod.
Two hours ago, you had been cosy in his bed, drinking coffee and sharing a plate of buttery toast with Eddie after he had made you come again. You knew just how good he was. Less than an hour ago, you had kissed him goodbye in his car and thanked him for a magical night. You miss him now, your chest aches with it, but you have your nightly phone call to look forward to, another date to plan.
The older woman fills the silence that falls over the breakfast nook.
“If you need a babysitter any time, I’ll be here. Or if you need someone to lean on. I won’t pry, and I don’t gossip about my friends,” she says.
There is a wave of relief that pours over you, slowing down your hammering heart and worried thoughts.
“You look happy. You’ve got this really lovely glow about you lately. I’m so glad you’re settling in, you and Hazel.”
“Thank you, Claudia.” There’s a thick feeling in your throat and you blink a few times to clear your cloudy eyes. “I feel happy. I’m starting to feel at home here.”
Hazel shuffles back over to the table, presenting her cheeks to you for two kisses before twirling over to Claudia. Your heart swells at her sweetness, her softness.
“Miss Claudia, can I give the kitties a treat?” she asks, as Catrick Swayze and Luke Skypawker bump against your ankles, seeking some affection.
Their furry heads feel like silk beneath your fingertips as Claudia and Hazel fetch treats for them and you snap a picture of them to send to Eddie. Swayze makes himself comfy on your lap, watching Hazel with his wide blue eyes, waiting for his treat.
There’s already a message from him waiting for you; a picture, great minds.
It’s Eddie, a few years older than the girls are now, standing by a lake, holding a fish he had just caught under Wayne’s patient tutelage. You can see the edge of his thumb holding the frame, and if you squint, you can see the reflection of Eddie and his phone in the glass. You pinch and zoom to look at his proud smile directed up at his Uncle rather than whoever took the photo, his pink-sunburned nose and his scrawny arms holding aloft the big fish for the camera, and the too-big Judas Priest t-shirt.
That cuteness aggression floods back and you want to kick your feet and squeal like a tweenager right here, right now in Claudia Henderson’s kitchen. She’s pretending not to see that big smile on your face, how you try to hide it by biting your lips, but she thinks this happiness suits you.
After poring over the picture, you read the accompanying texts.
Still think I’m cuter than him? 👀 Be honest… x
You flash back to the night before, when you took the pictures of him in front of the D&D game, his bounty.
Cute then, cute now. Period. X
Two blue ticks pop up right away; he was waiting for you.
Damn, you like me or smth? 😘
Heart hammering, your thumb flies across the keyboard as the cat purrs in your lap.
Mmmmmaybe Call me later? x
Eddie’s typing right away, just as Hazel comes over to pet Swayze and feed him his treats.
“Mom, he loves you! Look!” she beams.
Wouldn’t miss it for the world, sweetheart x
Thank you thank you thank you for reading - I really hope you enjoyed this. I don’t think I’m done with Eddie, Reader, Hazel and Fae yet. I can’t promise when, I but there will be something more to this. Thank you again. Your comments, reblogs and likes are treasured and adored!
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#dad!eddie munson#singledad!eddie Munson#singledad!eddie munson x singlemom!reader#bangaveragefics#dad!eddie munson x mom!reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fluff#stranger things#eddie munson stranger things#meet the parents
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Hey Nick,
Could you pray for me? I've been struggling on and off the past few years about if I should become Catholic or not. I feel like there's overwhelming signs that I should, but feel nervous about making the leap for several reasons. I keep feeling like I solved the issue, then my anxieties and questions about doing it come back again and again and make me change my decision.
Would love any kind of advice you could give me. I know I didn't delve into the reasons, it's a myriad of personal and theological reasons. I feel like I pray for signs on what to do...and then get small signs and moments of revelation, and then feel incapable of acting upon them.
Anyways, thank you if you do. Have always loved following you. Honestly you and your blog is definitely one of the things that keep encouraging me lol. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Yes of course I will pray for you. Anxieties and doubts are normal but they also have their root in the Evil One and thus we should be steadfast in our attempt to move through/past them. One need not answer every theological issue prior to conversion because this is unreasonable to expect from yourself and also contrary to the virtue of Faith. We examine the motives of credibility, make the assent of faith, and most of our understanding only comes after. This doesn’t mean you ought not to try and understand from the beginning but is just an acknowledgment that it will not all come at once.
In the words of Cardinal Saint John Henry Newman:
Of course, my only answer to you can be that the Catholic Church is the true fold of Christ, and that it is your duty to submit to it. You cannot do this without God's grace and therefore you ought to pray Him continually for it. All is well if God is on our side. Excuse the brevity with which I am obliged to write, and believe me,
Thank you for the kind words, have a blessed weekend as well!
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not me getting ready to drop another 1200-odd words of RKC analysis tomorrow morning, nearly a whole ass month after he got released
rent free, as they say
#no I dont have an entire third essay outline in the background too#pay no attention to the word documents behind the curtain#I am incapable of brevity also. If you couldnt tell. There is not one shortwinded bone in my body. Fuckin. 1200 words.
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Don't mind the tag at all! And yes these do appear to be lichens tho I'm not sure what kind they might be. Lichens and nonvascular plants like bryophytes can grow on hard surfaces like rock and metal because they do not absorb water and nutrients from their substrates the way plants do.
As for tips on lichen identification, learning about lichen anatomy and ecology is a key first step. It can feel overwhelming to jump right into identification only to come across words like "saxicolous" and "apothecia" with no prior knowledge of what they mean.
Lichens can be tricky to ID, more so in my experience than mushrooms, but its still fascinating and possible without fancy equipment.
This page from the North American Mycological Association has some great info for getting familiar with lichens: https://namyco.org/interests/education/lichen-basics/
Also just feel like I have to mention this these days: any AI powered ID app or app that otherwise claims to give you a 100% positive ID off a single photo is at best lying and at worst extremely dangerous. I like to recommend iNaturalist as they offer suggestions without guarantees, crowd source data from millions of observers worldwide who can offer additional ID suggestions for your observations, and are backed and trusted by the community. Still, you will most likely need to research beyond an app, especially in the beginning.
Thanks for the tag, and hope this helps! Mush love 💚🍄

@memoriesofthepark (hope you dont mind me tagging you)
Theres this lichen (i think) growing all over a metal ram statue. I thought it was cool also found a ladybug. Do u have any lichen identifying tips, and/or do u mb know what tupe of lichen it is
#Sorry guys i am apparently incapable of brevity#long answer#lichens#lichen#lichenology#amatuer mycology#amatuer mycologist#mycology#ask
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A Chapter by Chapter analysis of Amgydala by Sam Fennah
Preamble: My favorite kinds of novel tend to be ones the author has written entirely for their own gratification. Without worrying about what might be "marketable" or "relatable" to an audience. These books are not always good, sometimes they are infuriating, but they are never boring. I disagree vehemently with the politics of Dean Koontz but I am fascinated by his material. Anne Bishop's 'The Others' series frustrates me in deep and complicated ways, but I don't regret having read them. And in the same vein I adore The Black Jewels trilogy for doing exactly what it set out to do.
Amygdala, the first book in what is to be an eight book series, is exactly this. Written by Sam Fennah, it explores a world of his own creation, full of creatures of his own creation, and aims to tell a sprawling story about the birth and struggles of a newly formed society. His stated aim is to use this exaggerated parody of civilization as a lens through which to examine ideologies of all stripes. I am keenly interested to know if he succeeds at this. I am reading from the Second Edition of the book, which contains a few scenes not present in the first, and some editing for brevity.
Disclaimer: This is not a takedown, sporking, or otherwise derogatory look at Fennah's work. Likewise I'm not here to kinkshame about the decapitation stuff. Let he who is without a weird fetish cast the first stone, and that is emphatically not me. I intend to engage with this book in good faith, if you are interested in that then we will begin with chapter one below the cut.
Chapter One
We begin with an overview of where we are and what we're dealing with. The narrator introduces us to the Kivouack, a pre-big bang mass of chaos that operates under different laws of physics, chemistry, and geometry than the world we're accustomed to. The landscape is wild, eldritch, and the animals that live here are as strange as the place that birthed them. Kivouachians, or Kivva for short, have no real shared body plan save for three navels, cross shaped pupils, and their method of reproduction. Outside of that the sky is the limit as far as appearance, environment, diet, and gender go. Sex is binary, but vestigial, which is to say all Kivva are capable of siring and bearing young and secondary sex characteristics are cosmetic. A bit of a handwave on the part of the author to explain why gendered pronouns, or even gender itself, exists in this society. I too understand the pain of trying to invent a neo-pronoun for your race of functional hermaphrodites that doesn't sound jarring or silly, so I'm willing to accept it. And honestly breasts as a vestigial organ is a very funny concept to me. Like being born with or without that tendon in your wrist that lets you throw things a little farther, but for tits. They are also immortal; like lobsters they don't die of old age and will keep on trucking until they are either killed or rendered incapable of sustaining themselves.
The explanation of all that comes a little later on though, for now we get a brief history lesson. In the beginning there was Freyda, a very large and volatile kiv who basically rampaged her way across the landscape eating and fucking whoever and whatever she wanted while all her smaller brethren mostly just tried to keep the hell out of her way. Eventually she spawns Locket, who looks at this mess and decides she wants something better. Locket organizes an army, takes down Freyda, and when the dust settles she establishes the Underbirth, the first real city the Kivouack has ever seen.
What this historical overview wants to impress on the reader are two things. One, that Locket's society is driven by the idolization of competence and a fear of failure. Sink or swim culture taken to a logical extreme. In order to discourage complacency, death is touted as the ultimate failure and the bodies of those failures are done up in elaborate poses called 'bows' meant to humiliate the victim. If you fail in the underbirth not only will you die, but other kivs will bend your corpse over backwards and use it as an armchair in order to further add insult to injury. Life in the underbirth is all about that #grindset and falling behind means you could be someone's dinner or decoration depending. I should also note here that Kivouachians are the only species of animal around and thus the only available source of meat, though it is not specified in this chapter if kivs require animal protein in their diet or if it's just a preference. Largely they appear to be omnivorous.
Two, a premium is placed on physical fitness. Disability and sickness aren't unheard of, but they are uncommon and medicine as it exists in our society hasn't really taken off. See the previous paragraph about no other sources of meat being available outside of other Kivs. Why heal the sick when you can eat them? That's much more economic. Jonathan Swift would do numbers here though the satire would probably be lost. I am of course being moderately facetious, this is obviously where the 'exaggerated parody' bit of the setting comes into play. You spend your whole life working until you can't and then you die. The ways in which society can kill you have just been made more direct, and the need for blood to grease the wheels has been made social text rather than social subtext.
After our introduction to the setting we are introduced to one of what will be a fairly sprawling ensemble cast. Lucy Lacemaker is something like our protagonist, at the very least she's the one who's going to get the ball rolling on a whole mess of circumstances. And as far as introductions go I think this is a good one. Lucy is a fowler, a juvenile kiv yet to fully mature. Fowlers don't really have rights until they reach adulthood, and so spend their adolescence trying not to get eaten by adult kivs. They're small and nimble and generally get by stealing food where they can get it and figuring out what sort of trade they'll want to get into once they hit adulthood so they can get a head start on learning it. Lucy is small, inquisitive, reckless, and deeply curious about the world she inhabits and the people that inhabit it with her. She's fascinated with body language and learning to read it, a hobby that is one part survival mechanism and one part sincere interest in the lives of others.
This is also the part of the chapter where we get a more detailed explanation of how these critters reproduce. So when a kiv is beheaded they enter a state called rottulation. They aren't dead, they're basically unconscious, and the head can be reattached at any point after provided the brain isn't damaged in some way. However if two other kivs… look there's no way to put this delicately, if they cum on the body it gets absorbed into the skin and the body becomes a 'vessel' for a litter of fowlers. Who will then proceed to eat their way out of the host Aliens style and then scamper off before something else can come along and eat them. Notably the vessel does not contribute anything genetically to the offspring, it's just there to incubate them until they're ready to come out. So in addition to only having each other to eat, reproduction means killing at least one person.
This is probably the setting detail Fennah gets the most shit for and… well yeah it's kind of a uncomfortable and graphic thing to center your OCs around, but again as someone with several physically impossible kinks of my own I'm not going to throw shade here. Plus if you want to make your alien and inhuman cast feel alien and inhuman, well yeah mission accomplished. That does it. Everything we learn about this society just further underscores the violence inherent to the nature of these animals. It's a point Fennah wants to make sure you get. This comes naturally to them, so much so that they barely stop to question it. It's just what they are. They aren't without empathy or compassion, they are social animals, but in the sense that a band of 10 or 20 chimpanzees will socialize with each other and then go out and absolutely fuck up another band of chimps without reservation.
We set this backdrop not to be oppressive, but to highlight the small moments of tenderness experienced or offered by the cast. For example: Lucy is lucky. She's got a mentor. Sally Sefton, who owns what is essentially a fucking huge general store, went against her own instincts when she found Lucy rummaging through her things. And instead of eating her decided to take her on as something like an apprentice. She cares for Lucy, and Lucy for her, and it is thanks to this that Lucy had the opportunity to study and learn in a place of relative safety, helping out around the book burrow in exchange for lodging and the occasional meal. The underbirth is a cashless society. Apparently they tried currency once and it went so badly they decided they weren't doing that again. Instead everything is done by barter. Goods for goods and services for services, underpinned by what appears to be a complex social credit system where a person's reputation is nearly as valuable as their skill set when it comes to finding work.
Lucy meanwhile has been stalking an ex-friend, trying to grant herself some closure for the way things have turned out between them. You see Goldune was another fowler, until he hit kivic puberty and became a legal adult (kivs don't age gradually like humans, rather they undergo a sort of metamorphosis after an indeterminate amount of time and get one massive growth spurt, settling into an adult form). Once 'safety in numbers' became less of an issue for him he immediately ditched his old crew and got a job. Lucy, hurt by this betrayal and wondering what he's gotten up to, follows him around the city for a bit where we see him try unsuccessfully try to peddle a mysterious substance to several vendors who all tell him they don't want any part of his bullshit. Lucy for her part has two objectives here. She wants to know what's in those bottles, and she wants a chance to confront Goldune for abandoning her. And maybe wave the letter of recommendation she just got from Sally in his face a little, show him that she doesn't need him and she definitely doesn't care that he left. He didn't dump her, she's dumping him! While observing him waiting for this chance, she overhears a number of suspect conversations that imply Goldune has gotten himself mixed up with some shady business. A few important names are dropped, but otherwise this tailing sequence is a way to explain a little more of the city and how it works, as he stops at several locations trying to find someone who's willing to sign a contract with his employer.
Of course the confrontation ultimately goes sideways once it happens. Goldune laughs in her face, tells her he never really liked her, and that whatever 'friendship' they shared was completely mercenary on his part. A means to an end. Once he made it to where he needed to be he dropped her like a hot potato and because she's so good at reading faces she knows he's not lying. She loses her cool, picks up the little glass bottles (a substance we learn is called Mire) and starts chucking them at him in a bit of a tantrum. They start breaking on impact, which is unfortunate because whatever this stuff is supposed to do, it is extremely volatile. The dollhouse they're in, this setting's amalgam of brothel/playhouse/music hall/dance company, goes up in flames and both Goldune and Lucy are caught in the blaze. Lucy makes for the window before noticing that Butika, the dollie Goldune had hired earlier, is still unconscious on the floor with her head off and unable to move. After a brief hesitation she goes back, puts her head back on, and yells at her to move before making her own escape.
At the end of all this Lucy is left bereft. Goldune is dead, and while she was furious with him this wasn't actually the outcome she wanted. Her letter of recommendation has gone up in smoke, and she can't go back to sally and admit that she was so stupid and careless. And without that letter potential employers won't know her name from mud when she's old enough to work legitimately. Honestly as far as inciting incidents go this is a very solid start. We're presented with a clear conflict that has clear and direct consequences, and an opening intrigue. Lucy is thrust into a disadvantageous position of her own making, and now must figure out how she's going to survive going forward. It's also a very, well, human conflict. At several points other kivs tell Lucy she doesn't need to confront Goldune about anything. He made his intentions perfectly clear when he left. All she needs to do is accept this and let it go. But she can't, she can't accept that she was so disposable, she needs to hear it from him before she can really believe it. She's young and impulsive, and this feels realistically like the kind of mistake a young and impulsive person would make.
There is also an overarching theme to this novel which can be summed up by Sally's advice to Lucy:
As much as this chapter is focused on establishing the particulars and peculiarities of the setting, it is also the thesis statement for the rest of the novel. "It's just a little thing" will become an arc phrase, to signal when something will be the first in a line of dominoes leading to something more spectacular. Lucy herself is referred to often as a little thing, and we get a swift and flashy example of how her involvement escalates as situation with the fire at the dollhouse, which will follow her throughout the rest of the book.
While the writing trends towards overly poetic and bombastic in places it's ultimately very readable. I do think it plays better as an audiobook. Fennah knows how he wants the material to sound and that comes across in his narration. When listening to the chapter the dialogue sounds fairly natural. When reading it tends to come off as kind of stilted. The usual issues with a self published work are also present, grammar and punctuation errors, formatting issues, nothing egregious but the sort of inevitable little mistakes that slip through when you're trying to get an 800+ page behemoth out the door without the oversight of a dedicated editor. Still so far I'm having a good time with this. Writing any novel is something most aspiring authors struggle to make happen. Writing eight hundred pages of novel with seven more on the way borders on madness. One must be impressed by the sheer ambition of it all if nothing else.
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I FINISHED THE FIRST CHAPTER
succumbed to writing thistle fic and tripped sideways into post-canon falin character study
#i'll post a link once i get done editing and post it#how did it end up 5k long..... i am simply incapable of brevity sorry#dunmeshi#my writing
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💜 for an owlcat romance of ur choice......
prompt: 💜 surprise kiss / impulsive kiss pairing: daeran arendae x knight-commander (agender, afab which is relevant because...) ... content warnings: an instance of intentional misgendering, since daeran's a very normal guy when it comes to personal connection! + mild injury. a/n: i managed to keep it under 1k words let's goooo i am a master of brevity.
—
Worldwound, yes, quite, the very flagstones were beginning to crack—before Daeran could carry on his wry little observations mid-ambush, admittedly unwise, a hand landed on his shoulder—pleasant pressure, quite quickly turned rather insistent—and he allowed the Commander to haul him into a half-ruined shack.
Spine thudding against ow, and sliding down, his knees bit stone; dust and ash burst over them, coating his hair and speckling grit over his skin. Daeran grimaced. War should be relegated to ugly, unintelligent creatures. There should exist some line drawn, cosmically speaking.
He kept his eyes on the brick wall ahead; somewhere behind it—or behind them?—a murder of vrocks screeched and bickered. A murder? A crowd? A dozen or more, most pertinently, by the sounds of it.
Regill grumbled something, as was his nature; the Commander gurgled, and Daeran would be upon silk sheets again soon enough, perhaps by a terrace, and far from the stench of smoke and open wounds. No need to grow pessimistic. Difficult to be optimistic in such conditions, however…
… The Commander had gurgled?
Daeran looked over. Their tunic was slashed wide open, and beneath, the flesh of their chest. Yet they had the wherewithal to raise a blood-streaked finger to silently shush him. Golden eyes narrowed, bruise swelling beneath a cut on their cheekbone, coin-bright hair tarnished with dried blood—and dead shortly, as they insisted on silence, very well, let Iomedae greet her stubborn herald thusly. The divine creature crumpled at Daeran’s side wasn’t angelic at all; they were as red-blooded and filthy as he.
Dismal thoughts were an excruciating waste when one had an unpredictable amount of life remaining, which would sensibly explain fisting the Commander’s tunic to pull their mouth to his own. Daeran all but retched a Heal down their throat. He might as well; the vrocks could possibly not sniff them out and kill them all, nothing was inevitable—few things were impossible.
For one, the Commander, for a single sharp instant, tensed—meaning there was slack remaining in such a finely strung instrument! Daeran drew all of it to himself, mind reaching through the abyss behind his eyelids, between their bodies, pulling tighter and tighter, clutching the bundle of magic sinking deep—ah, too low, his mind had wandered.. He released his grip, found the damp of their blood, and slid his hand under the slit-through fabric, guiding the spell’s release up where it was needed.
The past seconds were possibly the longest he’d allowed a kiss to remain gentle. What fascinating timidity hid in Commander Ioanna, though their mouth did open as soon as his did—
Before whatever ruinous impulse lay on Daeran’s tongue could find true purchase, he was yanked back.
“Let him, Regill.”
So very monotone! For such a proposition! Daeran laughed shakily, blinking up at the too-bright sky.
“It’s unneeded. Aasimar, they are healed.”
A quick glance at the Commander’s exposed flesh—sealed, lovely, job well done, as ever—then Daeran swung a grin over to a far less pretty sight.
"There are two aasimar present, but I shall assume you mean me. The Oracle whose spells are far more effective with closeness, sat by the other aasimar, who sustained a ghastly wound. Did you not see?"
There was no falsehood in any of it, there was, in fact, a question within it, and still the little wretch merely stuck his nose up. Regill seemed incapable of relishing anything, but the opportunity to look down on someone… it must’ve been difficult to pass up, at the very least.
There was perhaps a level of irony present; Daeran preferred to focus on the terrible joy of sharing a glare with someone awful. Batting his eyelashes, he held Regill’s gaze, as firm as the rod wedged up that ashy-green arse. “You wished to preserve our Commander’s modesty. I understand. Virtuous of you.”
“Commander,” the gnome barked, making the laughably short journey from the ground to a standing position. “The beasts have moved on. You can walk?”
“Of course. Yes. I can.”
Of course! The Commander could walk, and push themselves upright in an instant, after a grievous wound! How ever did such capability come about? No matter, up they went! Ingratitude abounded; the two then headed for the ruined doorway, leaving Daeran to sit alone amid the rubble.
To their minimal credit, the Commander glanced back, and had a delicious blush blooming up the column of their marble throat.
Equally interestingly, Regill’s hair was indistinguishable in colour from the ash upon it, he positively waddled out the door as he left, and the walnut frame still held its polish.. it also had a small scuff near the bottom of it, lighter than the rest. Hm. Veneer?
“Thank you, Daeran.”
Clear as a bell. Nauseating.
“There we are! Manners!” Sweeping himself up, and striding ahead to the threshold, Daeran decided the valorous Commander was welcome to continue counting the bricks of the shack or whatever odd thing they were doing instead of getting on with their life.
He drummed his fingers against the doorframe.
Ahead, Regill was peering intently at the hole in the ground.
Crusades indeed.
“My dear Commander, you ought to know, considering the interruption, the cut upon the apple of your cheek remains.”
At their silence, Daeran glanced back.
The Commander was unsheathing their sword, eagle-gold gaze narrowed at something beyond the door. “I know.”
He clicked his tongue, and, slackening to lean fully against the frame, turned back to face the street. Nothing there but Regill, continuing to peer, intently, at a hole. In the ground. “Yes, well—”
“It doesn’t need healing.”
“Oh, quite right. Women with scars are ever so—”
“I’m not a woman,” they said flatly, and stepped over Daeran’s carefully inconvenient feet, and simply walked off!
Just one fact after another with them, even when pushed; wherever was their temper buried?
“Forgive me,” he cooed, ensuring they wouldn’t. “The aftermath of spellcasting has such fine details escaping one’s mind.”
#daeran arendae#pathfinder wotr#wotr commander#wrath of the righteous#one thing about me is i'm incapable of writing for games with contemporary hype.....#oc: ioanna#harley needs a writing tag#“where's the other companion. where are they” SILENCE MOTHER IS ATTEMPTING A NO-EDIT EXPERIENCE--
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so i vaguely recall seeing a post of yours about writing some 👀 OC stuff so consider this a sign to share about those characters or share a snippet of your writing!!
Hello! Thank you sm for asking!
So! There are so many characters (and a handful of AUs to go with them), because I do a lot of RP and tabletop games with friends and that inevitably turns into words. Exploring characters and themes and just showing affection to my friends by smashing our little guys into each other on a page. It took me a minute to file down what I wanted to spew about today.
There's this game called galactic. It's basically a system that, to paraphrase the author (Riley Rethal) lets you tell the kind of star wars stories you wish you'd gotten to see in the theatre. This isn't especially important to today's snippet but it will become somewhat relevant if I keep talking about the other iterations of these characters in the future.
There's also a comic, Abyss Reflections by ZC_Coffee. It's a beautiful little story about a modern future and a supposed fantasy past that one character remembers but the other does not. It got me thinking about Vex Vincent, my Scoundrel from Galactic and the ever-present temptation to make a knight au. (He/him for Vex)
Of course I don't do things the easy way! Because the art reminded me of Vex, I really needed to figure out a kind of Knighthood that made sense for a man of his personality. Additionally, 'what if Knights were Different' is a take that will always hook me.
Excerpts of my early thought sketches into the discord void.
There's no Knight School. No one knows (remembers?) how the Swords came to be here. There are many of them, some of them will offer a name, many refuse. Less people ask than you might think, anyway. You can't hear a Sword unless it's chosen you to Wield it.
There's a lot of ways to come into a Sword. Sometimes you wake up with it in your hand. Sometimes you inherit it. Sometimes you defeat the owner in combat (not always the deadly kind).
It's hard to trace if it's a consistent Per Sword thing or if it really is all about the whim of the blade.
I know more now about several of the Swords and what their conditions/motivations are, but these things aren't widely known truths of the setting.
Knights are a bit busy with the Calling to sit around and participate in research. (Also, I don't think people are doing research. Swords just Do Things. They choose their Knights, or they unchoose them.)
Vex didn't ask for his. He won't tell you how it came to him, not even Gerard—not that a Prinxe would ask such a question. (He fell down a hole and into Knighthood, kind of literally.)
Venia Gerard is the runaway heir to the Saint, the largest authority figure in this dystopian fantasy setting. (she/he/they) But their relationship with Vex is a whole several other posts.
The Calling isn't just one blanket cause the Knights speak to. A Calling exists between the Knight and the Sword. The pair don't always agree, either.
There is no cohesive Order among the Knights, or the Swords. Some Knights band together as long as they're Called on the same direction. There's at least one pair of Swords that are inseparable, for better or worse of those they choose to carry them.
Knights are rather mysterious and often solitary.
bonus lore
My friend Solace asked:
what is a band of Knights called? a Vigil?
My answer:
it is now. a pair is called a Truce.
Thank you again for asking and reading. The lore is vast and I am constitutionally incapable of brevity when trying to Explain.
#OC lore#writing#vex vincent#saintsbane#<- that's the fantasy au name#explaining the origins of that title is#Yet Another Post#asked and answered#OC writing#dash writes#long post?
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