#i am honest to god losing it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
trickstersaint · 4 months ago
Text
i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
3K notes · View notes
xxplastic-cubexx · 1 day ago
Note
ohhh i just know magneto is so pathetic in bed constantly asking charles if he’s making him feel good and charles just praising him like 😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌
Tumblr media
THIS IS WHAT I LOG ON TO THIS WEBSITE FOR 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
#nsft#dont look in here im filthy#snap chats#LETS GOOOOOO //SLAMS LOUD CORRECT BUZZER// now if i may cook.#see heres the thing i know charles is erik's favorite word....#erik dont even whimper or moan he'll just say charles' name with varying degrees of lust LARJALKRJG#see MY favorite flavor of erik is him starting out confident and Dare I Say cocky#until he inevitably melts into a desperate needy mess trying to maintain his composure (✿◡‿◡)#like walk with me walk with me: his breathing getting heavier as he presses his lips together trying to keep quiet Girls......#the only thing he allows himself to do is pant charles' name I Hope He Squirms And He Has To Try SO Hard To Maintain His Rhythm#i dont think erik would ever FULLY lose it but he'd be very close and that's still very hot to me.. maybe a bit more who's to say..#sorry .... i just like the Attempts at restraint but still seeing the chips and cracks in it.... like the dam never Fully being broken#but tantalizingly close enough until he comes ... like Cmon Just A Little More.. for some reason that tickles my brain (╯▽╰ )#bonus points if the script gets flipped and now charles gets a bit of a tude/ego with erik ....#dude fuck my tag limit HOW am i supposed to talk bout charles fuckin erik now !!!!!!#AND ITS SO EVIL CAUSE I KNOW CHARLES WOULD SPEAK SO SWEETLY yet in such context.... how lecherous..#LISTEN i just know he's a waist grabber i am certain charles is a waist grabber to keep erik steady while he rides him#'charles cant handle all that' is just my jealous cope because theres SO much to handle and i know charles handsy as hell#i KNOW he touching every curve and every groove on erik's body he doesnt enjoy himself Ever so my god he will indulge#see old people making out crazy tho Theyre Old they dont give a fuck and this is far from their first rodeo#they are shoving each other's tongues down their throats kinda gross if we're honest but what can you do...#thats just how they roll... esp if youre a repressed mfer like charles.#If We're Talking About Dams Breaking then charles is fully letting the dam break when he gets to be intimate with erik#I HAVE CLASS IN AN HOUR WHAT THA FUCKKKK NOW how am i supposed to think of old man sex. jesus christ this is a NIGHTMARE#ending my tags here i fear... sorry i typed up a whole lotta bull fuck i had to put the demons somewhere 😔 let these tags be my plum jar
30 notes · View notes
deoidesign · 6 months ago
Note
Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
43 notes · View notes
nicoscheer · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
mileskane In a shower in Paris x
📸 @ogden.ewan
Tumblr media
Twitter
Tumblr media Tumblr media
TikTok
-
-
Literally me: (blushing, giggling, hiding my face in my hands, kicking my feet, running away)
Tumblr media
28/02/2024 and he just decides to drop this:
Tumblr media
Oh do I hate him 🫶🏽
Oh he KNOWS exactly what he’s doing
69 notes · View notes
apocalypticdemon · 7 months ago
Text
so i'm finally reading through the terror scripts and i think this was designed to cause me physical pain.
crozier was supposed to be drinking to schubert..... god
#it's honest to god so interesting to see what was cut and what was rearranged#but the uh. the descriptions of the emotions that were not to be spoken?#the internal thought processes that can't be precisely conveyed without words?#i am Dying. this is Killing Me.#fucking *schubert*. god.#'it is not romantic or charismatic. it is hard to watch.' SEND HELP#the terror#i wish i had more coherent thoughts but like. jesus christ.#schubert also had some truly wretched parts of his life.#he wasn't able to marry women of higher classes than him. this was bc of a law that prohibited it but he was still restrained by his financ#*finances#a thing that sophia specifically points out to crozier in the show#aside from that there isn't much that i know off the top of my head#but his 'winterreise' is truly depressing. and 'die schone mullerin' isn't much better#actually die schone mullerin might be very apt for this.#the narrative follows a man falling in love with a woman that is beyond his grasp. and eventually ends in him fantasizing about his death.#uh. presumably the singer drowns in a brook at the end.#so! yeah! that one line in the script is making me lose my mind.#i am gonna keep reading them but i also think i will be a very sad puddle by the end of it#forgive the tag rambling. schubert isn't a main focus of mine#but i know a bit about him and a good bit about his music. it's. painful. also schubert died very young. like 31 years old young.#but anyway i guess i will find the damndest of parallels everywhere.
9 notes · View notes
troublcmakcrs · 1 day ago
Text
//i love how i was like "i gotta get more active on my dashes" and then immediately got lost in the sims 3 sauce
3 notes · View notes
tethrras · 19 days ago
Text
anyway sue zhao i would have loved you better but i could not have loved you more
#i think the problem is that i know he loved me but he was never honest with himself or others or me about how much#i mean he was going to kill himself over me and he's not even in LOVE with me#if he just showed it. and wasn't mean and didn't deflect and wasn't hot and cold. god. would there have been so much love#too much#and i guess that's the problem#is that i see more of a capacity for love in him than he allows to see in himself#he loved me but not in a way i could understand#and i think one day he might realize that if he didn't deflect so hard and wasn't mean and didn't beat back this affection with a stick#it could've been so good.#he knew me for 2 years and some of his fave memories ever were with me. he practiced the conversation we had every day#for 3 months. he always messaged me first. he always told me he didn't feel like he knew enough of me and wanted to know more#but why didn't he ask? why did we hang out so many times and in between laughs we bickered and argued and he sneered over nothing?#god. i am going to fucking lose my mind. why didn't he love me in a way i could stomach#why did he love me so much if it wasn't gonna be right#whatever. lol. whatever. fuck my fucking life.#negative //#sorry for posting again i'm just so sad and everyone is so sick of hearing about it#maia.txt#OR MAYBE THIS IS COPIUM LOL BUT I THINK THE GUY#WHO FORGETS ALMOST EVERYTHING remembering the teensiest things abt me and the guy who values his alone time#messaging me for like 5 hrs straight some days when he self described 'hates texting'#he could be a good manipulator with his apologies and he can be a good liar about other ppl but not abt me#he is fucking LAZYYY lol he wouldn't put so much effort into our relationship if he didn't love me#but why did he leave me second guessing so much. love isn't just devotion! it's affection and loyalty and joy and curiousity!#FUCK MY LIFE!
3 notes · View notes
thompsborn · 1 year ago
Text
parksborn au where harry is a prince. that’s it. i’m not awake enough to think of anything else but harry is a prince and somehow him and peter become best friends as kids and grow up constantly aware of each other and the struggles they face but their struggles are completely opposite from each other’s and and. and. and.
13 notes · View notes
hotsugarbyglassanimals · 1 month ago
Text
it's probably the sunnier weather that's doing stuff to my brain to make me more optimistic but it's so interesting having a brain that craves a lot of self-fulfillment to the point where I can move past some hang-ups around perfection by going "oh I really wanna do that though" and then I do it well because researching how to do it right is also a rewarding part of the process
#it comes with the double edged sword of dropping projects as soon as they become a bit more involved/difficult#or when they don't feel fulfilling#but maybe it's better to take a break and come back to something with new knowledge ?#maybe it's good that my brain has a built in 'if it sucks hit da bricks' function ?#i just wish that i had more stamina for these things when they start lacking intrinsic rewards#it just feels like compared to my other family members i lose steam very very quickly and since we all have the same disorder i should be-#- 'just as capable'... but honest to god my under-activity feels SO severe#it honestly feels like compared to others my threshold for mental exhaustion is half the normal benchmark it should be#you know how there were studies done that found that 4 hours is the maximum amount of time people can work before a decline in efficiency?#i swear to god when the activity is something i have no internal reward for it takes 1-2 hours for that decline to start. and my brain -#- crashes HARD. my eyes start to glaze over. i start forgetting how to speak. my brain starts acting like it's 2-3 am and that i need to -#- sleep. i don't push myself not because i coddle myself but because i perform WAY worse. my work becomes unintelligible#or if it's some other kind of task (such as cleaning) my brain desperately tries to take shortcuts in order to get it done#i am trying to avoid a situation where i have to fix up the shitty job i did after the fact!#it's just kind of crazy to me how this is viewed as laziness LOL 'you did a bad job!' because i was pushed past my limit!#not to mention... i get burned out for DAYS if i push myself too hard. i am trying to conserve my efficiency#if you want me to do a better job... i need more time. and trust me: i'll do an excellent job if you let me rest#i am a very smart and capable person who cares about doing a good job - and i have a fine eye for smaller details as well#the trade-off here is i'll need some time to find joy and fulfillment somewhere else for a little bit while i rest. let me excel ok?#idk where this high self esteem came from other than like. realizing i wrote an entire research proposal in such short time#while receiving positive feedback with very few notes for improvement. i just sat down an added another section today based on -#-feedback and realized like 'wait. i know what i'm doing and i probably care about this far more than the average classmate'#i've been having a lot of thoughts lately and i sort of want to get to the bottom of how i have a difficult time coping w/ burnout#and i also want to figure out how to offset the costs of the stuff i need to do... it's a process
3 notes · View notes
dalishthunder · 8 months ago
Text
Love being my mother's emotional punching bag
6 notes · View notes
sixpomseeds · 2 years ago
Text
begging square enix to take a step back during development and actually see which characters have chemistry and a compelling dynamic and HAVE THEM KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE
44 notes · View notes
batz · 1 year ago
Text
-
10 notes · View notes
lightblueminecraftorchid · 1 year ago
Text
.
How to explain that going to church makes me hurt and angry, but not going to church makes me sad and depressed.
#I need to go to Mass. I need to get over the anxiety mental block and just go.#blue chatter#it’s just. I’ve only gone a couple times this semester and every time has left me feeling more empty and hurt than when I walked in#and I know Mass is more than just how you feel. and that it matters that I am there where God calls me to be#I know.#I wish nobody there knew me so they wouldn’t be so worried and ask questions about where I’ve been#it’s like. I cannot possibly explain to my church friends why I haven’t been showing up.#it’s not even scrupulosity anymore it’s just. I can’t be here. I don’t belong here.#and the new priest is trying *so hard*. I’ve been honest with him about how I’m struggling.#but it’s just. there’s something missing. he wants to include the congregation but fundamentally doesn’t understand what that means.#‘everyone is welcome. No I will not make an effort to include marginalized people. they’re welcome bc they can Walk In The Door.’#and I know it’s not that the church has changed#if anything I’d be having the same issues with the old priest. I’m the one who’s changed.#but instead of spending my Sundays with God I’m just. melting into a puddle of Sad. and that’s not good for my faith life.#I need to do *something*. I just. any time I think of trying a new church i feel exhausted.#God please help me.#I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to be alone and miserable and losing touch with my faith
7 notes · View notes
idon-twannabeperceived · 8 months ago
Text
The only thing worse than keeping the same 5 to 10 albums on repeat is actually finding new music i like
3 notes · View notes
our-lady-of-mcr · 9 months ago
Text
everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
2 notes · View notes
adamsappl · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
anonymous sent: K but have you considered that Adam was apparently the "first soul in heaven" Meaning either he died before his entire family OR none of the rest of his family who died before him, like Abel, got to go to Heaven.
Tumblr media
I have talked about this before actually!! my adam is of the timeline that he was the only one in his family to go to heaven, and that fact is one of the biggest reasons he got so much worse throughout his afterlife. adam is/was caught in a cycle of losing ... pretty much everything he cares about. first lilith, then the garden, then abel, then (upon death) eve and the rest of his family -- and being the only human soul in heaven for such a long time, he eventually found it easier to just stop caring about people. can't lose what he never had to begin with. the only person he's really cared about since his death is lute ( and, to a lesser extent, the exorcists as a whole ) but he's not just going to CHANGE because he cares about someone. they encourage his shitty behavior, if anything.
WHY the rest of early humanity went to hell, i don't know. but that complete disconnect from the rest of humanity after his death fucked adam up.
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes